#zaperc

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (75/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

Previous chapters conveniently available here.

[6 March 234 Before Age.  Nat-Chezz II.]

When Zaperc led the Saiyans to Nat-Chezz II, their plan had been to defend the planet against any would-be invaders.   The idea was to imitate what the Super Saiyan Luffa had achieved with her establishment of an interplanetary Federation.   Instead of seeking out easy battles, they would stand their ground and try to cultivate a reputation as a force to be reckoned with.    This would in turn attract even stronger invaders, giving the Saiyans a chance to become stronger themselves as they repelled them.   At least, this was the theory.

In practice, Zaperc’s followers were virtually indistinguishable from the sort of invaders they pledged to drive off.    Upon arrival, they declared martial law, shut down much of the planet’s communications, and helped themselves to whatever supplies and treasure they wished.  The Chezzi people had endured worse occupations in the past, so they tolerated the situation for a time, but they still breathed a sigh of relief when Luffa discovered their plight and intervened.  

In the weeks that followed, Luffa subjected these Saiyans to intense training, determined to mold the band into the sort of champions they had claimed to be.   The Chezzi King had allowed them to keep the mansion they had appropriated, but all the treasure they had taken was returned, and the Saiyans spent most of their days drilling in the wilderness or conducting war games with the Chezzi military.   When their work for the day was finished, they convened at their manor and feasted on whatever luckless animals they happened to find during their training exercises.  

“That’s what I like about you, Jikama,” Lesseri said as she ripped hunks of flesh from a carcass on the table.  “You may be half-Chezzi, but at least you eat like a Saiyan.  I knew a mixed-blood on Siphone II.  Guy had no appetite at all.  Creepy.”

“Thanks... I think,” Jikama said between bites.  “So, any word on when Luffa’s coming back?”

“Nothing new,” Vigurd said as she drank an entire pot of stew and wiped her mouth on her forearm.  “What’s wrong, Jikama?  You miss that gilded blowhard already?”

“I just enjoyed her cooking,” he said awkwardly.  “Not that there’s anything wrong with this, but we’ve been roasting animals on a spit for a week now.  I could go for some of that insect crumb of hers.”

“Insect crumb, my foot!” Lesseri scoffed.   “Don’t listen to him, Vigurd.  He just wants another pat on the head from Zattie.”

Jikama chuckled at this.  Of all the Saiyans in Zaperc’s group, he had shown the most improvement in tracking Zatte through dense foliage.   Luffa’s alien wife lacked Saiyan power, but she could make herself virtually undetectable, and she was armed with advanced weaponry and a talent for asymmetrical warfare.     She had praised him a number of times in front of Luffa and the other Saiyans, which had earned him a lot of teasing from his comrades.   Not wishing to antagonize any of them, he smiled and tried to take it in stride.  

“If you asked me, it’d be just as well if she never came back,” muttered Brockle.   He sat at the head of the table, nursing a flagon of ale while he devoured a plate of spare ribs.

“Please, Brockle,” Vigurd laughed.  “We’ve all seen you leer at her when you think no one’s watching.  You miss Zattie more than Jikama does.”

“Yeah,” Lesseri added.   “Don’t take it personally, Brockle.  You’re just not her type, if you know what I mean.”

The two women laughed, and Jikama tried to delicately suggest that maybe they shouldn’t make a habit of calling her “Zattie”, when Brockle slammed his fist on the table.  

“I’m not talking about the damned alien,”  he said.   “I meant Luffa.”

“I wouldn’t let your father hear you talk that way,” Vigurd warned.  

“I’ve learned all I need to know from the Super Saiyan,” Brockle insisted.  “I’m getting stronger every day, and before long I’ll be powerful enough to surpass her.”

“No offense, kid,” Lesseri said, “but get real.  We’ve all felt the ki Luffa puts off.   You’re nowhere near her level.”  

He stood up and raised his fists.  “I’m more than a match for you, Lesseri!” he shouted.  

She nodded and sipped her drink.  “You’re right, but being stronger than me doesn’t change anything, does it?”  

“I have the potential to beat her!” he insisted.   “I know it!”

“Maybe so,” Vigurd said, “but until you do, you’ll have to put up with her crap like the rest of us.   Unless she’s dumb enough to get killed in spaceflight.   I wonder if someone could sneak an explosive on that ship of hers without her noticing...”

“Now what would that accomplish?” Lesseri asked.  

“Oh, I’m just thinking out loud,” Vigurd chuckled.  She finished her meal and patted her sizable belly with satisfaction.  “People would pay a fortune to hire the mercenary who slew the Super Saiyan, wouldn’t they?”

“Not once the word gets around that she’s just a run-of-the-mill Saiyan like a hundred thousand others available for hire,” Lesseri noted.   “All you’d prove is that you know how to set a time-bomb.”

“Wouldn’t someone else try to bomb your ship?” Jikama suggested.    “Then they could cash in on being the one to kill the mercenary who killed the Super Saiyan.”

Lesseri pointed a table knife at Jikama.  “See?  He’s only half-Saiyan and he gets it.”

“I don’t know why my father put up with you fools,” Brockle grumbled.  

“Because he knows he needs all the help he can get to keep his son from getting himself killed,” Lesseri said.   “Maybe you were in line to serve in Rehval’s elite guard, but you fouled that gig up, and now you’ve got to scrape together a living like the rest of us merc trash.   You don’t have to like us, Brockle.   You don’t have to like Luffa either, or her blue-skinned devil girl, for that matter, but you still need us for the time being.”

He opened his mouth to respond, when suddenly all four of them gasped with shock and turned to look up at the sky.   There was nothing to see, at least not with the naked eye, but the ki they had sensed was powerful enough to be sensed, even from outer space.  

“Is that... Luffa?” Vigurd asked.  

“It can’t be,” Brockle said.   “It feels completely different.    And there’s... two of them.”

“Jikama, contact the Chezzi military,” Lesseri said.   “We’ll need telemetry on that ship.”

“Huh?   Oh, right!” he said as he scrambled out of his seat.   While he took off into the air, she turned to Brockle.  

“Go find your father,” she said.  “Looks like we finally have a fight on our hands.”

“I don’t take orders from you, woman!” he said indignantly.  

“That’s right, you don’t,” she said.  “We both take orders from your father, and I’d like to start taking some before whatever that is gets here, so hurry up and find him!”

He muttered obscenities under his breath as he got up from the table, promising himself that she would pay for her disrespect, but Lesseri didn’t care as long as he did as she asked.  

She looked to Vigurd next.  “Do me a favor and prep Zaperc’s ship for launch.”

“What?” Vigurd asked.   “You want to run?”

“Right now I want to keep my options open,” Lesseri said.   “Without Luffa to back us up, I don’t know if we can beat these guys, and I don’t know if Zaperc’s sensible enough to order a retreat.  I don’t know about you, but I’d like an escape route handy.”

“You know, so would I, now that you mention it,” Vigurd said after a moment’s consideration.  

“Yes, I thought you might,” Lesseri said after Vigurd flew off.

*******

Two hours later, Zaperc was with Hijik in the throneroom of the King of Nat-Chezz, accompanied by several high-ranking military commanders.   They had been discussing plans to destroy the incoming vessel  before it could deploy its forces, when suddenly an image of two women appeared in the center of the room.    

Both of them had pale, almost transparent skin.  The shorter of the two was almost completely concealed beneath a black cloak.  Only her bare feet and lower shins were visible below the hem, and the hood of her cloak revealed only the portion of her face below her eyes.    Her nose and mouth were contorted into a cruel sneer.  

The taller woman was adorned in black leather up to her chest, which added emphasis to her large, muscular arms.  An iron helmet concealed her eyes as well, though a dark, horizontal slot on the front presumably allowed her to see out of it.  Lengths of wire hung from the back of the helmet, almost as if to serve as a crude substitute for hair.   Her lips were stretched to reveal her clenched teeth, as though she were constantly on the verge of biting someone.

“Are they holograms?” the king asked.  

“I think they’re some sort of ki constructs, Sire,” Zaperc said cautiously.   “Hijik, can you sense them too?”

Hijik nodded, and curled his tail around his waist.  Before he could give his own opinion on the images, the cloaked one addressed the room.

“Hail, King of Nat-Chezz.  I am Ünderlyne, and this is Stryquethru.   Henceforth, we shall be the new masters of your world.”

“Long have we coveted your scandium resources, King of the Chezzi,” Stryquethru growled through her teeth.   “You will surrender your world to us, or we shall take it by force.      Doubtless you have warriors who can already sense our power approaching your world.  They will tell you that we cannot be defeated.   Heed their warning and surrender to us!”

“Surrender, and you shall be shown... mercy...” promised Ünderlyne, though her tone lacked sincerity.   “The tender mercies of Stryquethru and Ünderlyne...  Oh how we beg you to submit.”

“Resist,” Stryquethru seethed, “and your people shall suffer terribly!   Woe to the defiant!   For there is no refuge from our wrath!”  

“Woe!” wailed Ünderlyne.  

“Woe!” added Stryquethru.

“Wooooooooeeeeee!” they howled in unison.  

As their voices faded, so too did their images, and the message appeared to be concluded.   The king looked to his advisors, and then to the two Saiyans, desperate for counsel.    

“At current velocity, we expect them to reach the planet in two hours, Sire,” said one of the generals.

“My son Brockle may be able to destroy their ship before it reaches the atmosphere, Sire,” Zaperc said.   “If not, I would recommend deploying our forces here...”

“Is this a joke?!” Hijik yelled.  

Suddenly, everyone in the room fell silent, and all eyes were looking to him.  

“It’s obviously a trick!” Hijik said.  “Am I the only one who sees it?”

“Hijik, what are you talking about?” Zaperc demanded.  “We don’t have time for--”

“That was Luffa, of course!” Hijik said.  “Luffa and her alien ‘partner’ or whatever she calls it!  They left the planet days ago, frustrated that we weren’t jumping through their hoops fast enough for them, so they dreamed up this phony invasion as some pathetic team-building exercise!”  

Silence fell upon the room again.   At last, the king spoke.   “Zaperc, could he be right?   Would the Super Saiyan do such a thing?”

Zaperc hesitated.   He had studied Luffa’s career for over two years, only to find that the real Luffa was very different from what his sources had told him.  She had been testing them for weeks now.  Could this be another test?  If it was, wouldn’t she have informed the king?  Perhaps he was aware of her plan, and he was feigning ignorance to help Luffa gauge their reactions.  

“I... I don’t know,” he finally said.   “Perhaps we should wait and see.”

“Wait?! Wait for what?” one of the Chezzi generals demanded.   “Neither of those women looked nothing like Luffa.  The shorter one was at least six inches taller than her.”

“It was a ki projection,” Hijik said.    “They could have made it look any size or shape they wanted!”

“And since when does Luffa have that ability?” the general asked sharply.  

“Her woman has all sorts of energy manipulation powers,” Hijik said.  “Working together, there’s no telling what they could do.”

“But why go to all this trouble?”  the Chezzi king asked.    “Why not simply arrange a war game maneuver?”

“Because it’s a team-building exercise,” Hijik said.  The disgust in his voice made it sound like he was describing the most detestable atrocity he could imagine.  “You don’t understand how women think, Your Majesty.   They want to humiliate us, then force us to work together against a common foe, and then they’ll reveal their ruse at the last moment, to reinforce the idea that none of us can accomplish anything unless they allow it.”

“Wh-what?” the king asked.  

Hijik sighed.  “I can see I’ll have to go over the basics of involuntary celibacy with you.   I’ll need something to write on so I can make a diagram...”

********

On a cozy island village off the coast of one of Nat-Chezz’s larger continents, Bodi stood in a library and watched patiently while a Chezzi woman looked through an almanac.  

“Sorry this is taking so long,” she said as she ran her maroon-skinned fingers down a table printed on page 702.  “You’d probably have more luck calling the Royal Astronomy Society.   They have a computer program that calculates things like this.”

Bodi smirked as he rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger.  “Luck?   Calculations?” he asked.   “With the fate of this world on the line, there can be no half-measures.   Take your time, and while you concentrate on finding the answer I need, I will drink in your beauty, and let it inspire my Saiyan power to unseen heights!”

The woman faltered for a moment, and clutched at her temples.   Even the horns on her head seemed to droop slightly.  

“Is something wrong?” Bodi asked.  “Have you found it?”

“No, I just... felt a little ill for a moment,” she said.  “Could you maybe save the cheesy lines for after the invasion?”

“Very well,” Bodi said as he dramatically removed his sunglasses.  “I accept!”

He had been patrolling this part of the planet when he sensed the huge powers approaching from space.  With Luffa and Zatte offworld, his standing orders were to report to Zaperc and the Chezzi military command, but he knew better.   There would be only one way to halt this impending doom.   Only one power that could bring Bodi and his comrade the victory they all craved.  Bodi would seize that power, and with it, the triumph, and with that... maybe some grateful Chezzi women...

“Okay, I think I’ve got it,” she said.  

“Good job!” he cheered, pointing at her with both hands.   “The location of the full moon!”

“Well, that’s just it,” she said sheepishly.  “The full moon won’t be in the sky for another week.   It doesn’t matter where you go on the planet’s surface.   It all depends on the moon’s position in relation to the sun.”

His jaw dropped.  

“What I was thinking of was a solar eclipse,” she explained.    “With those, it depends on where the observer is on the planet’s surface.   At a certain latitude, the moon would obscure more of the sun’s disc, but that has nothing to do with lunar phases.   I’m sorry.”

He didn’t move.   A pathetic squeaking sound emanated from his throat, but nothing more.

“Are you sure you need this Giant Ape form to win?” she asked.   “It just seems kind of unreliable to me.   You get all this power from it, but it only works under the light of the full moon.  And what if the invaders managed to cut off your tail?”

He nodded slightly.  

“Well, is there anything else I can help you with?” she asked.   “If not, I’ll uh... let you get back to strategizing.   I feel like I ought to see my family before this ship arrives.   So, uh, good luck out there.”

She left him standing there, dumbfounded.  One by one, the other patrons left the building, until at last the librarian at the desk shut off the lights and locked the doors.    Bodi didn’t move, except for a slight twitch as a single tear ran down his cheek.  

*******

“Behold, mistress!   The world of Nat-Chezz.   And soon it shall be ours!  The domain of Stryquethru and Ünderlyne!”

Stryquethru gazed at the image of the planet on the viewscreen, admiring whatever her helmet allowed her to perceive through the slot that obscured her eyes.   A tear of blood ran down her cheek as she made a twisted smile.  

“How peaceful it looks!” she exclaimed through clenched teeth.   “Soon, very, soon my lady--my queen, we shall have all the scandium we could ever need.  Scandium enough to sate the darkest of appetites!”  

Their ship had only one deck, containing a single, nearly empty room.   Nearly every surface was shiny and black, with heavy chains and manacles dangling from various positions on the wall.   There were no physical controls.   Ünderlyne simply waved her hands, seemingly clawing at the air with the long black nails on her fingers, and the ship responded instantly.  

“But hold!” she said.    “We are under attack!”

“The fools!” Stryquethru hissed.  “Do those spineless worms reject our kind warning already?”

“Worry not, my pet,” Ünderlyne said in a spiteful tone.  “The energy beam is a powerful one, rich in vital energy, but easily avoided.   Yes, we need only slip our vessel beneath normal space, into the welcoming darkness of subspace, and wait for the danger to pass.”  

As she spoke, she gestured with her hands to illustrate, and Stryquethru grunted with malicious approval.  Then she tilted back her head and growled.  

“Do I sense... Saiyan power in that attack?” she asked.  

Ünderlyne paused and considered the question carefully.  “Yessssss,” she said with a gleeful cackle.     “And added bonus for our conquest!”

“I would bathe in their blood!” Stryquethru insisted.   “The one who fired that insolent shot!   Yes, my pet, I will not rest until shreds of his viscera are lodged between my teeth!”

“Let us not be hasty,” Ünderlyne said with an evil smile.  “The Saiyans make fine stock for breeding, as well as for soup.   Imagine an entire offshoot of their race, toiling away to refine scandium for our dark bidding.”

Stryquethru screamed for thirty seconds straight.    “Delightful,” she added.   “I cannot bear to wait any longer!  How long until we arrive?!”

“Soon!” Ünderlyne cried.

*******

“Now!” Ünderlyne cried as they stepped out of the hatch of their ship and onto the courtyard of the Chezzi royal palace.  

“Where is the king!?” Stryquethru screeched.  “He must surrender his world to us immediately!”  

“Bring us the king!” Ünderlyne shrieked.  “Lest we hunt him down and devour his eyes!”

But the courtyard was empty, save for the two invaders and their black, disc-shaped vessel.   Suddenly, the vessel was engulfed in an explosion.  

“How dare!” Ünderlyne rasped.  

“My chains!” Stryquethru howled.   “All of my favorite chains were on board!”  

“Take heart, mistress,” Ünderlyne said.  “We shall soon forge new chains, of scandium alloy!”

“Seems your ship is much easier to hit when it’s standing still,” shouted Brockle as he flew over the courtyard.   He alighted just in front of the invaders and the burning hulk that was once their ship.   “Now I only need to destroy the two of you.”

“You were the one!” Stryquethru moaned.   “The one who fired upon us before!   Saiyan!  I would have your innards!”

Brockle clenched his fists and raised his power level to its maximum.    “Come and take them if you can!” he growled.    “I’m going to make an example of the two of you.   When I’m through, no one will dare come near this planet again!”

“Then let us do battle, fool!” Stryquethru shouted.   “Let the seas run red with our blood!   Unleash your power Saiyan.    Bring forth your fury!”

“Wait, stop!  We surrender!”

Brockle turned to see his father running out from one of the palace doors.   He ran past Brockle and dropped to his knees before the dark women.  

“Father, what are you doing?” Brockle asked.  

“Spare my son, please,” Zaperc asked as he clasped his hands together in supplication.   “He is only a boy.”

“Father, I am not a boy, I am seventeen years old!” Brockle protested.  

“How touching,” Ünderlyne cooed.    “The son seeks war, while the father begs for peace.   Do you truly know what you ask, filthy Saiyan?”

“We’re no match for you,” Zaperc said.    “We have no choice but to yield.”

“Then prove your sincerity, knave!” Stryquethru commanded.  “Cut off your tail and eat it here in front of us!”  

“That is disgusting, Stryquethru!” Ünderlyne muttered.  

“It is the only way they will learn, my mistress,” Stryquethru said quietly.  

“Father, you can’t be serious!” Brockle said.   “I’m strong enough to defeat these wretches.    Let me--”

“Son, your power doesn’t even compare!” Zaperc snapped.   “Look past your pride and sense what stands before you!   I’m not sure if even Luffa could stand against these monsters.”

Zaperc’s words were like a heavy blow to his gut.   In that instant, all the confidence simply drained out of Brockle.  “F-father--!” was all he could bring himself to say.  

“I’ll do as you ask,” Zaperc said, glancing down at the end of his furry tail.   “If you agree to let me and my son leave this planet peacefully.”

“No!”

The four of them turned, and found Hijik floating over the courtyard, looking down upon them.   There was a large sphere of energy in his right hand, and he was brandishing it with look of desperation on his face.  

“Hijik, what in blazes are you doing?” Zaperc asked.  

“I’m rescuing your dignity from these she-beasts!” he shouted back.   “We can’t defeat them, but we do have enough power to destroy the planet, or at least render it uninhabitable!”  

“Are you mad, Saiyan?!” Stryquethru barked.   “Put that energy away and come down here!   Or do you want to kill yourself along with the rest of us?!”

“I’m not bluffing!” Hijik said.   “If we can’t have this planet, neither will you!  I suggest you get back in your ship and leave.    This world isn’t safe for your kind!”

“They can’t leave, Hijik!” Zaperc groaned.   “Brockle destroyed their ship!”

This was apparently news to Hijik, or he may have seen it happen, and simply failed to consider the ramifications.    “He... did?!” Hijik stammered.   “But... but...”

“We cannot leave!” Stryquethru gloated.  “Nor would we wish to do so.    Tell me, little man, would you hold that ball of death over us forever?!”

“No, wait!” Hijik said, thinking as fast as he could.  “You could take our ship.”  

“In the first place, Hijik,” Zaperc said, “it’s not ‘our ship’, it’s my ship.   And second--”

As he spoke, they all sensed another Saiyan life energy moving overhead.   It was Vigurd, piloting the very ship they were just discussing.

“What is she doing?” Zaperc asked.  

“That coward!” Brockle fumed.   “She’s running away!  Leaving us behind!”

“Well, someone get to a transmitter and tell her to turn around!” Hijik yelled.  “She doesn’t need to run away now!   She can bring the ship down and hand it off to these two.   Hell, she can leave with them for all I care.   Just so long as they--”

Suddenly, Zaperc’s ship exploded into a fireball, and began a steep descent towards the horizon.  

“Vigurd?!” Zaperc cried.   He couldn’t sense her energy now.   It was possible that a Saiyan of her power level might have survived the explosion, but if Zaperc couldn’t sense her ki, then that meant Vigurd wasn’t using it to protect herself, or to break her fall to the surface.    If she wasn’t dead already, she soon would be.

Hijik wasted no time dreaming up another alternative.   “There’s plenty of other starships on this planet,” he said.  

“Enough!” Stryquethru shouted.   “You’ve put up a nice front, little Saiyan, but your game is over now!  Come down here, and if Ünderlyne deems you suitable, we may make use of you for our breeding experiments.”

“Breeding?” Hijik said.   “You mean, me and you?”

Ünderlyne simply cackled and waved her hands with abandon.  

“And perhaps I as well, dog,” Stryquethru added, “assuming there is anything left of you once dear Ünderlyne is through.”

Hijik quickly dissipated the energy ball in his hand and descended beside Zaperc.   “When do we start?” he asked hopefully.

“Hijik, are you mad?” Zaperc asked.   “A moment ago these two demanded that I eat my own tail!”  

“What’s your point?” he asked.  

“Not so fast, ladies!” called a voice in the distance.    

“Oh, what now?” Hijik groaned.  

The dark women were equally annoyed.   The looked and found a figure standing atop one of the stone pillars in the courtyard, with his arms crossed and his back turned toward them.    With a flourish, he backflipped off the pillar, twisting and flipping as he moved through the air, until at last his feet touched the ground and he struck a dramatic pose.

“Bodi,” Zaperc said.    “I’m asking you to please stay out of this.”

“I’ve come to issue a challenge!” Bodi said.   “We can’t defeat you ladies now, but in a week, when the moon is full, my comrades and I will be ready to fight you with all we’ve got.”  

“Why should we do such a thing?!”  Stryquethru asked.  

“Your comrades are already surrendering to us!” Ünderlyne hissed.   “What possible reason would we have for delaying our triumph?”

He rubbed his chin, then adjusted his sunglasses.   “I see,” he said as he closed his eyes and smiled.    “It seems I failed to consider that.   Very well.   In that case, all that I have left is...”

There was a long pause, and for a moment, Zaperc dared to wonder if Bodi actually had a way out of this situation.  

“... No plans!” Bodi declared.  

Zaperc shook his head mournfully and looked down at his tail once again.  

*******

[7 March 234 Before Age.  Nat-Chezz II.]

As it turned out, Zaperc got to keep his tail, at least for the time being.   As sadistic as the invaders were, they seemed more interested in savoring their victory than in carrying out their threats.   Thus, the first ever “Surrender Banquet” was held in the palace’s main hall.  The decorations made the occasion resemble the interior design of Stryquethru and Ünderlyne’s ship.   The streamers were made of black paper, the bouqets of flowers were dyed to as dark a hue as possible, and pieces of rusted scrap metal were laid upon each table like centerpieces.   At the front of the room was a stage, where the new rulers of Nat-Chezz sat upon their “throne”, which was actually just a black leather sofa they had stabbed with assorted swords and knives.    Hijik and Bodi stood on either side of them, each wearing heavy manacles on their necks and wrists that were more symbolic than functional.  

“When do we start the breeding program?” Hijik asked Ünderlyne .  

“At a time and place of our choosing, mortal fool!” Ünderlyne insisted.   “If you do not stop asking, I shall carve out your tongue!”

“Oh, let him babble, my lady,”  Stryquethru said.   “I enjoy hearing the Saiyan whimper like an animal begging for table scraps.”  

There was a loud metallic crack, and Stryquethru turned to scold Bodi.   “Worthless wretch!  I told you to stop fidgeting with those chains!   Now you’ve broken them!”

Bodi had been trying to scratch his back, which had strained the metal to its breaking point.   He grinned and adjusted his sunglasses.  “Apologies, ladies,” he said as smoothly as he could.   “I suppose that I was so overwhelmed by your animal magnetism that I forgot my own strength.    Best surrender ever!”

At one of the tables, Zaperc was apologizing profusely to the Chezzi king.  

“We still have a chance,” he said in a low voice.   “Lesseri and Jikama are unaccounted for.   One of them might find a way to summon help and--”

“What good will that do?” the king whispered.  “These women are too powerful, Zaperc.  They could defeat an army of Saiyans, and I doubt your comrades can find us that much help.”

“There is the full moon,” Zaperc suggested.   “Bodi may have had the right idea after all.   If we bide our time, we might--”

The king was horrified at this suggestion.   “Don’t you think they’ve already anticipated that tactic?” he asked.   “In another week, they’ll either chop off your tails or destroy our moon.”  

Zaperc sighed as he realized the king was right.   It wasn’t supposed to have been like this.    His son Brockle should have unlocked his hidden potential and become powerful enough to tackle any challenge, including these invaders. Instead, Stryquethru and Ünderlyne had taken the planet without a struggle, and Brockle now sulked in a far corner of the hall, his spirit completely broken.  

"Silence!"  Stryquethru screamed.  "We would have music!  We would see merriment!  Dance, Chezzi insects!  Dance for your dark queens!"

With some reluctance, most of the ’guests’ rose from their chairs and began to dance in an open area of the hall.  As commanded by their new rulers, they all wore black gowns and formal wear mottled with ashes.

"Shall we?" the king said, offering his hand to Zaperc.

Zaperc was irritated by the situation, but he supposed every moment he spent playing along was another moment he got to keep his tail attached to his body.  Begrudgingly, he took the king’s hand and led him through a rudimentary waltz.

"You’ve done this before," the king said with some amazement.  "I didn’t think Saiyans knew how to dance."

"It was in the book," Zaperc explained ruefully.

"The book?   You mean The Luffa Way?" the king asked.

"There’s a section about opening oneself to new experiences.  It goes on to describe a time when Luffa supposedly taught herself to waltz in order to defeat a giant sea serpent on Planet Zeezil."

"And you resolved to learn the same steps," the king said.

Zaperc nodded.  "All of it was a waste of time.  The real Luffa told me the book was a pack of lies.  She had never been to the Zeezil system.  Her wife--who isn’t even mentioned in the book-- told me that Luffa doesn’t know how to dance."

"How gauche," the king said.  "I wonder what they did at their wedding reception..."

"Luffa levitated herself an inch off the ground and let Zatte slide her across the floor like a shuffleboard disc.  At least, that was what Zatte told me.  She may have been joking.  It’s hard for me to tell."

"That sounds rather fun, actually," the king said.  "Would you care to try it?"

Zaperc frowned.  "The point is that I’ve been wasting my time.  I devoted years to following in Luffa’s footsteps, only to find that her feet weren’t even touching the ground!  All the rumors and tall tales and false accounts I’ve studied--! All it’s won me is a life of bondage.  It would all be worth it if this somehow led to a better life for my son, but look at him over there.  I’ve only doomed him to the same fate."

The King glanced back at Brockle, who was still sulking in his chair.  A Chezzi maiden asked him to dance, but he wouldn’t even acknowledge her presence.

"Don’t give up hope, Noble Saiyan," the king said.  "My people have endured numerous conquests and occupations in our history.  This too shall pass."

"How can you say that at a time like this?!" Zaperc asked.  "We can’t defeat these monsters!  Not even Luffa could--!"

Suddenly, there came a loud noise from the back of the hall.  There was a massive double door at the entrance, made of particularly expensive and sturdy breed of Chezzi timber, and decorated with bismuth ink.  These now lay on the floor, the wood splintered and cracked where they had been shorn from their hinges.

"Eh?  Who dares!" Stryquethru screeched.

The newcomer stormed into the hall, walking directly toward the invaders without acknowledging the Saiyans or Chezzi.  When she was standing directly in front of Stryquethru and Ünderlyne’s sofa, she extended her hand and curled in her fingers, beckoning them to come closer.

"Let’s step outside," Luffa said.

NEXT: Post Mortem

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (76/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

     [7 March 234 Before Age.  Nat-Chezz II.]  

"Saiyan maggot!" Ünderlyne snarled. "Have you learned nothing from the defeat of your kin? Your power doesn’t begin to compare to ours!"

"I’ve noticed," Luffa said, smiling excitedly. "I sensed the two of you from orbit. Very impressive. Let’s do this."

Nat-Chezz II had fallen to a pair of alien invaders less than twenty-four hours ago.  The fighters who had pledged to defend the planet had failed.   Stryquethru and Ünderlyne seemed to be completely unbeatable, to the point where surrender had been the only sane option.   The pair wasted no time in celebrating their bloodless conquest by staging a ball in the palace of the Chezzi King.  

And then Luffa arrived to confront them.

"Have a care, Saiyan!" Ünderlyne warned. "The power we possess will reduce you to a cinder! Beg for our mercy, or we shall annihilate you instantly!"

"Maybe you don't understand how this works," Luffa said. She balled her fists and threw back her head as she transformed.   Like all Saiyans, Luffa had dark hair and a tail covered in brown fur.   These suddenly changed to a luminescent yellow, and her eyes flashed as they became a menacing shade of bright green.  She extended her arm toward the couch the invaders were sitting on, and pointed at each of them.

"I'm going to fight you now," she said with a twisted grin. Get up and let's get down to business!"

They looked at each other and exchanged confused looks. At last Ünderlyne said: "Perhaps this Saiyan does not realize the full extent of our power, my lady. We must summon our full might to show just how far beyond her we truly are!"

Luffa was growing impatient. "No, I get it, you're both stronger than me.  I'm excited, really.  Let's hurry up and fight. If you don't mind, I'd like to take you on one at a time. You know, just to make this last longer. But if you're more comfortable working as a team, I can adjust."

Stryquethru was visibly disturbed to hear this. "What is wrong with you? You admit we're stronger, yet you still want to fight us?!"

"Okay, enough of this crap," Luffa said. "I was hoping you two were just as anxious to test your powers as I am, but it doesn't really matter. I'm going to start hitting you as hard as I can. If I were you, I'd start thinking about hitting back."

With that, she started to yell, gathering her power as her aura raged like a tempest. Most of the people in the hall ran for their lives, while a few took cover and looked on in terror.

And then suddenly, Luffa stopped yelling, and she drew back her fist. "Ready or not!" she shouted.

"No! Wait! I give up!" Stryquethru cried.

"You what?" Luffa asked.

Stryquethru got up from the sofa and fell to her knees. "You win! We give up! Don't kill us!"

"Stryquethru, don't be a fool!" Ünderlyne scolded. "This Saiyan is only bluffing!"

"But what if she's not?!" Stryquethru asked. "If she's really this powerful..."

"It matters not, my pet!" Ünderlyne said. "For we are stronger still! This Saiyan won't dare attack us--ARRRRRGH!"

Without warning, a bolt of green light burst through one of the large, stained glass windows of the hall, and struck Ünderlyne somewhere beneath the folds of her black cloak. She fell off the sofa and started twitching.

"I told her to stay out of this," Luffa muttered. "Sorry about that. My wife is kind of over-protective. I told her I was going to fight you two and she got a little nervous. I guess it was because you were so much stronger than... wait a minute."

She looked down at Stryquethru, as though seeing her for the first time. "What happened to your ki?" she asked. "It's like you turned into a wimp all of a sudden."

"Please, spare us!" Stryquethru whined. "It was all a deception! We have the ability to manipulate ki perception! That way we make ourselves appear to be more powerful than we really are, and our opponents don't dare to challenge us."

Luffa considered this for a moment as she looked at Ünderlyne convulsing on the floor. Then she gently tapped her finger against Stryquethru's shoulder, and she collapsed, clutching her arm in agony.

"You're telling the truth!" Luffa said. "You idiots! I was ready to come at you with my full power! I could have killed you!"

"Wuh-we never expected any...one to call our bluff!" Ünderlyne whimpered. "Our illusion makes us seem unbeatable! Who would want to fight a superior opponent with no hope of winning?!"

Luffa opened her mouth to answer.  She wanted to say that any proud Saiyan would eagerly accept the challenge, even at the risk of death. Then she remembered that there had been other Saiyans to greet these invaders, and they had apparently given up without a fight.

So instead she said nothing, and went to find the Chezzi king to inform him that his planet had been saved.

*******

 [8 March 234 Before Age.  Nat-Chezz II.]  

"If any of you had thrown a single punch at either of them," Luffa said, "you would have exposed their trick instantly! Those women weren't invaders, they were con artists. Tricksters!"

In spite of her disappointment in them, she had cooked a meal for the group, and was now serving it to them while she critiqued their performance. They took the food and ate, but none of them seemed to relish the experience, and no one was in a hurry to speak up.

"Hijik," Luffa said. "I would have thought you would have caught on. You've been accusing me of being an impostor Super Saiyan. The king tells me you were convinced that Stryquethru and Ünderlyne were me and Zatte in disguise! You're just about the most suspicious man I've ever met, but you didn't see through this?"

Hijik shrugged without looking at her. "They were so strong," he said. "And they weren't going to hurt us. I figured there was nothing to lose."

"Nothing to lose?!" Luffa snapped. "What about your pride as a warrior?! They were going to use you all as breeding stock!"

Hijik shook his head. "I should have known they didn't mean it. All you women are alike. You make demands, tease us with the promise of sex, but you always find a way to back out at the last minute."

Luffa grabbed him by the throat and yanked him out of his chair. Before he could react, she struck him in the torso several dozen times, then tossed him to the ground.

"Get the hell off this planet," she said. "I've had enough of your paranoid fantasies. You're a waste of Saiyan blood."

Hijik coughed as he recovered from Luffa's beating. He looked up at her bitterly, as if to remind her that the feeling was mutual. Then he leaped into the air and flew away.

Zaperc watched him go, but said nothing.

"Is that it then?" Lesseri asked. "You're firing us? I think I'd rather skip the lecture then, if that's all right with you, Supe."

"You didn't even show up to face them, Lesseri," Luffa growled. "You sent Vigurd to prep the ship so you two could abandon your comrades and your duty to this planet!"

"I only had one 'duty', sister," Lesseri said with a laugh. "And I did it. Helping you losers tackle a pair of aliens was never part of my plan."

"The Chezzi forensics team found traces of explosives in the wreckage," Luffa said. "Vigurd's death was no accident. You're going to tell me why you did it, or I'll pull the answers out of your mind. Your choice."

Lesseri laughed again. "Why should I keep it a secret?" she said. "Yeah, I killed Vigurd. I've been plotting to kill her for years. I only joined this outfit so I could get close to her and find the right opportunity. I was afraid you might save her, Luffa, but then you and your wife went on that trip to Tingi V, and I knew I had my chance. The invasion made it perfect. I knew Vigurd would be in too big a hurry to escape. She'd never bother waiting for the rest of us, and she'd certainly never think to run a pre-flight sensor check for any hazardous substances on board.

Zaperc hung his head as he listened to her confession. Lesseri seemed to enjoy his reaction. "That's right, old man. I never cared about your stupid movement. I doubt Vigurd did either. She was a coward who probably only threw in with you because it was easier than going it alone."

"You talk about cowardice, Lesseri," Luffa said, "but I notice you didn't bother to challenge Vigurd to a fair fight."

Lesseri laughed again. "I wanted to kill her, not defeat her," she said.  "If I had challenged and lost, she might have killed me first, or run away before I could get my chance to finish her off. I didn't want her to realize what I was up to until it was too late."

"Why?" Luffa asked. "What did Vigurd ever do to you?"

Lesseri looked her straight in the eye and smiled. "You heard what she said before. About how she abandoned her brats at a gestation facility. As I recall, you didn't approve of that very much."

"I don't," Luffa said coldly. "But that's no reason to kill--"

"I was one of the brats," Lesseri said with a snort. "She thought they were twin boys, but we were actually girls, which shows how little she cared. She had no idea I was her daughter, and I made sure to keep it that way right up to the end."

Luffa was speechless, which seemed to make the moment even more enjoyable for Lessri. "Nothing to say, Super Saiyan? You don't have some snappy lecture about the honor of motherhood? Vigurd left me to fend for myself, and I made sure she died the same way I grew up: confused and alone. I betrayed Zaperc, and you, and this planet, but so what? It all worked out in the end anyway. So go ahead! Beat me to a pulp! Kill me! Do whatever your old fashion morality tells you! I've got my satisfaction, and I was prepared to die for it, so do whatever you think is best."

Lesseri leaned back in her seat and put her hands behind her head as she waited, but Luffa didn't move. She glared at Lesseri, but took no action.

"Fine," Lesseri said. She stood up and started to walk away from the group. "I'll take that as my cue to leave. Thanks for your help, everyone."

Luffa waited until she was gone, then regained her composure. "Where's Jikama?" she asked.

"You're just letting her go?" Brockle asked.

"Where's Jikama?" Luffa repeated.

"No worries!" Bodi said as he adjusted his sunglasses. "Jikama contacted us last night. He had a meeting with the Chezzi King, but promised to be here as soon as he could."

Luffa held out her hands in resignation. "Fine. Fine. Let's talk about you, Bodi. You tried to get the invasion rescheduled until the night of the full moon."

"Uh... they didn't agree to my terms," he said.

"Would you like to walk into my fist next week, Bodi?" Luffa asked. "Would lunchtime work for you?"

He seemed to take her point, and tugged at the collar of his blue tunic.

"I haven't turned into a giant Ape in years," Luffa said. "It might not be safe for me to use the form anymore, but more importantly, a lot of planets don't have moons big enough to trigger the transformation! And the ones that do aren't reliable either! You might have to wait months or even years for a full moon, and then a cloudy sky could ruin everything!"

"It's worked well--" Bodi began to say, but Luffa cut him off.

"In setpiece battles!" she said. "When you've got hundreds of individually weaker enemies to mow down. Then you can play cat-and-mouse, and lure them into a position where you can overwhelm them in the Oozaru form."

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully and smiled. "Very well," he said. "For the next invasion, we should get an army to land on Nat-Chezzi! Then I'll show the ladies just what Bodi can really do!"

"You still don't get it!" Luffa said. "You're here to defend a single planet! You don't get the luxury of picking who to fight, or where, or when! That's the whole challenge, Bodi!"

"I see," Bodi said. He had said the same thing the last seven times someone had explained it to him. Luffa was beginning to think would never understand. She wanted to kick him out of the group, but she wasn't really sure that he was ever really in the group to begin with. Sooner or later he'd just move on, so she resolved to ignore him.

Besides, there wasn't much of a group left to kick Bodi out of. All she had left were Zaperc, his son Brockle, and Jikama.

"This is a waste of time," Luffa said. "I can't help these people, Zaperc."

"The fault is mine, Luffa," Zaperc said. "I accepted whatever followers I happened to find, but at the time I was basing my teachings on The Luffa Way. Now that I know the book is a fraud, and now that I've trained with the real you--!"

"You think other Saiyans will flock to your movement?" Luffa asked. "Don't be ridiculous. You failed just as badly as the others. You were so worried about your son's safety that you forgot to fight." She gestured to Brockle. "And he takes all his cues from you, apparently. You talk tough, Brockle, but only if your dad thinks you can win."

Brockle crossed his arms and looked away from Luffa like a petulant child.

"Luffa," Zaperc asked. "Could I speak to you alone?"

*******

Inside the mansion the Saiyans had been using for a base, Luffa took a seat in front of Zaperc's desk. "All right, spit it out, Zaperc," she said.

"I want to apologize for my son. He's been very insolent towards you and your woman."

"Accepted," Luffa said.

"You probably think I coddle the boy," he said. "That I should have taught him some manners before he became too strong for me to handle."

Luffa rolled her eyes. "He's not the rudest Saiyan I've ever met, Zaperc.  "Thought that isn't saying much.  He's only called me a whore twice."

"You must understand that he's very special," Zaperc said.

"Of course. He's your son."

"No, it's more than that. He had a tremendous potential since the day he was born. I've always known that he was destined to do great things. That is why I've devoted my life to supporting his development into a mighty warrior. That is why I wanted him to learn from you."

"Is there a point to this, Zaperc?" Luffa asked.

"I would ask you to teach my son your power," he said in a reverent tone.

"What?"

"Your transformation," he said. "I want you to make him into a Super Saiyan."

"That's... that's ridiculous!" Luffa said. "I've been trying to teach him this whole time.   The Shiei Fist, remember?  He won't listen to me."

"That's because what he really wants to know is how to be what you are," Zaperc said. "Invincible. Unbeatable. The ultimate warrior."

"He thinks I'm a freak," she said. "But if he could do it, suddenly that makes it okay?"

"If you can show him how to become a Super Saiyan," Zaperc said, "then you could teach others! The Saiyans would have to acknowledge you then! They would hail you as a hero who showed them the road to even greater glory!"

She stood up and began to pace around the room. "I don't even know if it can be taught," she said. "It's not like the Galick Gun. It's not a technique I developed and refined. It just... happened."

"You're a fighting genius," Zaperc said. "And you've had this ability for at least three years. Surely you've gained some insight that can be passed on."

"What about the legends?" Luffa asked. "Chanisp and Old Darbock and the rest. If I can show someone how to do it, then why didn't they?"

"Perhaps they lacked the right student," Zaperc suggested.

"Your son won't listen to me," Luffa said. "I doubt he'd listen to Chanisp, for that matter.  Why should I waste my time?"

"Think of the possibilities," Zaperc pleaded. "You have no rival in the universe. Even if you find another warrior to challenge you, you'll just overcome him as you surpassed the Shockmaster, and you'll be back where you started. But if there were other Super Saiyans, constantly working to surpass you..."

Luffa closed her eyes and made a rather wistful smile. "It'd be something, wouldn't it?" she asked. "All right, maybe it's worth a try. I'll need some time to think this through. I have no idea how to put it into words."

"Of course. Brockle and I will await your summons."

*******

"I knew we couldn’t beat them head on," Jikama said. "Even if we all worked together, so I started gathering supplies and preparing for an underground resistance."

Zatte looked up and down the walls of the cavern and made a low whistle. "Very impressive, Jikama. You’d still have a long way to go, but this is a great start for just one afternoon of work."

"I dug this one in a hurry," he said. "I figured everyone would he so busy fighting that they wouldn’t stop to wonder what I was doing using my ki out here in the middle of nowhere. Once I had the tunnels laid out the way I wanted, I headed for the mansion and grabbed as many supplies as I could find."

"Luffa will be impressed," Zatte said.

Jikama smiled. "No, she probably won’t," he said, "but it’s nice of you to say so."

"Yeah, but this reminds me a lot of the story she told me of the last Super Saiyan, Chanisp," Zatte said. He found a place to train in secret, and finally turned the tables on his enemies."

"Maybe so," Jikama said, "but I’ll probably never be that strong. I’ll keep trying to get there, but until I do, I’m better off using my head, like you showed me."

"Well, for what it’s worth, I think we’re leaving Nat-Chezz II in good hands," she said. "Unless you’re planning to run off and join another gang of Saiyans."

"I think I’ve had enough of outer space," he said. "I only went looking for Saiyans because of my father."

"You were trying to find him?" she asked.

"No, he died in a battle not long after I born," he said. "I never knew him. I sort of hoped that if I lived with other Saiyans, went on the kinds of adventures Saiyans have, that I’d understand him better."

He looked around at the cavern. "Zatte, can I ask you something? You know Saiyans pretty well, right? From living with Luffa, I mean."

"I wouldn’t call myself an expert," Zatte said. "But I know a few things, sure."

"Do you think my father would be proud of me?" he asked. "If he could see me now."

She screwed up her face as she tried to formulate an answer. "I don’t know," she finally said. "Luffa killed her own father after he betrayed her. Then again, Zaperc seems pretty supportive of Brockle. I think it really depends on the person, but the bar seems pretty low, at least the way I see it."

"Yeah," Jikama said. "It doesn’t matter anyway. Everything I’ve accomplished, all the things I’m going to do, well, they were for me as much as they were for him. I’m going to protect this planet and my mother’s people, no matter what anyone else would think about it."

Zatte patted him on the shoulder.

*******

Hours later, Luffa met with Zaperc and Brockle on the peak of a mountain.   "You want me to teach your son to become a Super Saiyan?" she said. "Are you sure you know what you’re asking?"

"Yes!" Zaperc said. "Please."

Luffa balled up her fists and transformed. The golden aura raged around her body like an otherworldly storm. Her cold green eyes stared at Brockle as though gazing directly into his soul.

"What about it, boy?" she said. "Is this what you want? It’s not just power, you know. Once you cross the threshold, nothing will ever be quite the same."

Brockle looked to his father, then back to Luffa. "I...I’m ready!" he said.

"You’ll have to suffer for this, Brockle!" she warned him. "You’ll have to pay a terrible price to become what I am.  They didn't write about that in any damn book."

"Anything!" he shouted. "I’ll do whatever you ask!"

"Your father," she said in a low voice. "He will have to die."

"Wh-what?!" Zaperc gasped.

Brockle snorted as he turned towards him. He raised his hand and charged it with his ki. Zaperc was too stunned to defend himself.

"Then so be it!" Brockle laughed. He brought down his hand with blinding speed, and with a destructive force sufficient to tear through solid steel.

And then it stopped, just short of Zaperc’s neck. There, Luffa had blocked Brockle’s strike with a single finger.

"Stand down, boy," she said.

"What?!" Brockle asked. "What are you--?!"

Luffa frowned at him.   "I told you to stand down."

"But I did what you told me!" Brockle whined. "You were testing me! To see if I would really do it!"

"And you failed," Luffa said grimly. "Now power down, before I--"

"I did what you told me, you stupid bitch!" he howled. "You said I had to kill this useless dolt, and I would have, if you hadn’t stopped me!"

Zaperc backed away from them. He wasn’t sure what was happening, but he could tell that Brockle was making things worse. "Son, don’t--"

But Brockle was too angry to listen to anyone now. "You’re afraid, aren’t you?!" he growled, pointing his finger accusingly at Luffa’s face. "You know that if I had the secret I’d surpass you! And I would! I’d beat you, and then I’d show you what a real Super Saiyan can--"

In a flash, Luffa had taken his arm and twisted it behind his back into a hammerlock. Brockle wailed in agony as she cinched the hold.

"Oh, I’m just terrified," Luffa said.

Brockle tried to hit her with his free arm, but Luffa’s body was so small that he couldn’t get reach her. As she was strong enough to maintain the hold with only one hand, Luffa used the other to torque Brockle’s wrist, adding to his torment.

He wailed in pain.

"So this is what a real Super Saiyan can do," she said.   "I had no idea this world even existed."

Brockle's shoulder blade was scraping against his rib cage, but the sound was drowned out by his pathetic cries.

"Don’t hurt me, Brockle," Luffa said coldly. "I beg you."

He squealed as she applied more pressure. Then she suddenly released his arm and wrapped her arms around his waist. Before he could react, she pulled him backward, launching him over her body and releasing him as he collided with the ground. So great was the impact that Brockle’s body had formed a crater.

Luffa rose to her feet and pointed at him. "When he wakes up, you tell him to think long and hard before he ever faces me again," she said to Zaperc. "Because the next time he pisses me off, I’ll kill him."

She snapped her fingers to indicate how easily she could carry out her threat.

"I don’t understand!" Zaperc said.

"I can’t teach your son," Luffa said. "That’s all there is to it.  I had to figure out what it was that made me this way, and it's not something I can teach.   It's not something he can learn."

"But why not?" Zaperc asked. "Please, at least tell me that!"

Luffa looked down at Brockle. "I can’t teach him to become a Super Saiyan, because to do that I’d have to kill you," she said. "I’d have to torture you to death while he watches, completely unable to stop me."

Zaperc took a deep breath. "You said I must die, but when he tried to kill me you stopped him."

"Because he thought I wanted a sacrifice," Luffa said. "That’s not it at all. The point is that he has to experience a loss so heartfelt and painful that his body will have no choice but to transform."

"But he was already humiliated by Styquethru and Ünderlyne," Zaperc said.

"I’m not talking about pride," Luffa shouted. "If all it took was a wounded ego and a dead parent, every Saiyan male in the universe would have ascended a long time ago!" She pointed at her face. "Look at me!   Do you think I tried to turn into this thing? That I just did a bunch of pushups and tensed up a certain spot on my back?!  No."

"Then what was it?" Zaperc asked. "What did you have that Brockle lacks?"

"Compassion," Luffa said.

"What?!" Zaperc was so confused now that he started to laugh. "That makes no sense!"

"I didn’t understand it either at first," Luffa admitted. "I had already been defeated, already suffered a lot worse than Brockle ever has, but it wasn’t until I was worried about someone else... And then I remember becoming furious at myself for being so helpless."

"Then that’s why you’ve been protecting planets all over the galaxy!" Zaperc said. "To become even stronger!"

"No, I do it because it’s the only way I can find a worthwhile challenge," Luffa said. "And also because I know what it’s like to be helpless. I sympathize with people like the Chezzi. I was hoping that maybe you could learn to sympathize with them too, but I was wrong."

"No!" Zaperc said. "It can still work! I was right to come here, Luffa. I was imitating your methods without knowing their purpose, but now I see! Once I explain it to Brockle, I’m sure he can--"

Luffa snarled and waved her arm, pushing Zaperc away with the force of her ki. "Don’t you get it?!" she shouted. "Brockle doesn’t care about this planet or its people! He never cared.   He doesn’t care about anyone or anything but himself! He’d kill you just for a chance to have this power, but that’s not how it works."

Her hands started to tremble. She turned away from Zaperc and crossed her arms tightly to steady them.

"He’s so ruthless that he’d kill his own father, even though you’ve spent your whole life trying to support him. If your death wouldn’t stir those emotions inside him, then I don't know what will.  I can’t teach him, Zaperc.  No one can."

"One of the others then," Zaperc suggested, desperate to find a solution. "Perhaps Bodi is soft-hearted enough to--"

"Even if he were," Luffa said. "I’d have to hurt him in a way I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. Brockle might have been willing to kill you, Zaperc, but I’m not.  You remind me too much of my own father... or at least the man I wanted him to be."

She started to walk away, and Zaperc moved to follow her. Heedless of the danger, he reached out and grabbed Luffa by the arm.

"Luffa, please!" he begged. "You can’t just keep this secret to yourself! Think of our people! The Saiyan race could do incredible things with your power!"

Luffa looked at him sadly, then shook her head. "Take care of your boy, Zaperc," she said. "He should learn to be worthy of the power he already has. That should keep you both occupied for a while."

She shook him loose, and then flew away, leaving him with far more questions than answers.

*******

Luffa wasted little time making her departure from Nat-Chezz. She boarded her star-yacht, confirmed Zatte’s presence on board, and ordered the ship’s computer to lift off and set course for the nearest starport. Then she went to the hot tub on the observation deck. She removed her boots, but didn’t bother undressing any further before immersing herself up to her nose in hot water.

Just as she was beginning to forget her troubles, Zatte entered the room.

“Well look who dropped in,” she said in an icy voice. Luffa suddenly found herself wishing she lived on a much larger starship. In another galaxy.

They had argued for most of the previous night. Their return trip from Tingis V had been fraught with complications, and the invasion they had found on Nat-Chezz had strained their morale further, and then Luffa’s farce of a battle with Stryquethru and Ünderlyne. Luffa had told Zatte to remain in orbit with the ship, but instead she had participated in the battle, albeit with a sniper rifle four miles away. The revelation that Strykethru and Ünderlyne were never a threat to anyone should have broken the tension, but somehow it had only made things worse.

In hindsight, Luffa wasn’t sure if she had taken her frustration with the Saiyans out on Zatte, or if she had taken her frustration with Zatte out on the Saiyans.

“The least you could do is say hello to your wife when you come on board,” Zatte said. “Or are we still not speaking to each other?”

“Hello,” Luffa said wearily as she lifted her head out of the water to speak.

Zatte put her fists on her hips and stared down at her. “Is that all?” she asked.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you last night,” Luffa added.

“And?”

Luffa smiled in spite of herself. “You were right to shoot Ünderlyne,” she said. “It was a beautiful shot too. Did you use the gamma scope or the AI model?”

Zatte’s frown melted away and she disrobed, revealing her swimsuit with “Super Saiyan Club President” printed on the front. “Move over,” she said as she entered the tub.

“I really hate that suit,” Luffa groaned.

“I know you do,” Zatte said. “I put it on because I was still mad at you, but if you keep saying nice things about my fieldcraft skills, I might change into something else.”

“Zaperc wanted me to teach his boy how to turn into a Super Saiyan,” Luffa said.

“I’m gonna guess it didn’t work,” Zatte said.

“Bullseye. You’re a crack shot even without a gun.”

“I’m sorry things went so badly with those guys,” Zatte said. “I really wanted you to be able to reconnect with your people.”

“They seemed so... small to me,” Luffa said. “I kept trying to get them to see the bigger picture, but they just couldn’t let go of their petty self-interests. I guess I used to be like that. Back on Dorlu Prime, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Zatte said. “But I always got the feeling you only acted like a big jerk because you thought you were supposed to. Like, you were afraid you’d turn into a Dorlun if you didn’t carry yourself a certain way.”

“Huh. And now?”

“You’ve been on your own so long that you’ve become your own person,” Zatte said. “It’s liberating, but it kind of leaves you exposed. If people don’t like it, you take it harder than if you were pretending to be something else.”

“I’m really sorry for last night, Zattie. I trust you, but I don’t want you getting hurt because of me, either. It’s hard for me to know where to draw the line.”

“Same here,” Zatte admitted. “I would have stayed put like you asked, but I kept worrying that those two would be more than you could handle.”

“We should have just said that to each other last night,” Luffa said. “Would have saved us a lot of hassle.”

“Better late than never,” Zatte said. “We’ve grown a little since yesterday. Brockle might seem small to you now, but he just needs more time to grow. Maybe he’ll become a Super Saiyan on his own some day.”

“Maybe,” Luffa said. “At least Jikama’s got a good head on ”his shoulders. Nat-Chezz should be in good hands, at least.”

Zatte made a puzzled face. “I didn’t think you gave him that much credit.”

Luffa shrugged. “As a Saiyan, no. But I’m not too impressed with Saiyans right now, so that works to his favor. He was worried about whether his father would be proud of him, but his old man was probably a creep like Brockle or Hijik, so it doesn’t really matter. Once he figures that out, he ought to do just fine.”

“Yeah,” Zatte said. “I think you’re right.”

 NEXT: My Dinner with Rehval

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (72/?)

French Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Toothy Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

Previous chapters conveniently available here.

[19 February 234 Before Age.  Toth-Thoth]

Detective Bret ducked under the brightly colored ribbon that cordoned off the crime scene and found a group of lawmen huddled together.  He headed straight for them and introduced himself.

"Glad to have you on this case, Bret," said Captain Neier.  "I usually hate it when they call in people from other precincts, but this time we could use all the help we can get."

Bret nodded. "May I look at the body?" he asked, pointing down at the tarp lying at their feet.

"Sure," Neier said.  He titled his head and glanced over his shoulder.  "Over this way."

Bret looked past him, and spotted a covered body lying on the ground.  "I don’t understand," he said, pointing to the tarp they were standing around.  "If that’s the body, what’s this?"

Neier sighed.  "I’d better show you the victim first."

Bret shrugged and followed him to the other tarp, which Neier pulled back to reveal the corpse of a humanoid male, six feet in height, lying face down in the alleyway.  He couldn’t tell much from the first look.

"No signs of a struggle," he said. "No obvious wounds.  Can’t say I’m surprised.  This guy looks like he could handle himself in a fight."  He sat on his haunches to take a closer look, and noticed a rip just below the belt-line of his trousers.  "Is that...?"

"A hole for his tail," Neier said. "He’s a Saiyan."

Bret looked up at him in amazement.  "Who could have done this to a Saiyan?"

"That’s what I’d like to know," Neier said.  "Between you and me, this is one perp I’d rather not find.  With any luck, the killer’s already left the planet, but it’s not like anyone here would have been a threat to him, you know?"

Bret shuddered at the thought.  He removed a pen from his jacket and carefully manipulated the fabric around the tail-hole to get a better look.  "So where’s his tail?" he asked.  "Some Saiyans cut them off or lose them in battle, but this must have happened recently, or he wouldn’t need to rip a hole in his pants."

"And that’s why we called you in," Neier said.  He waved for Bret to follow him back to the first tarp, and nodded for one of the other police officers to remove it.

It was a pile of Saiyan tails.  Bret took an involuntary step backward as he realized what he was seeing.  Something about the sight of all those furry appendages lying together made him nauseous, even before the smell wafted up to his nose.

"We’re assuming one of them is his," Neier said, "but we’ll need to run DNA tests to be sure.  Best guess for now is that this collection goes back about two months."

"There must be..." Bret stopped to wait for his stomach to settle down.  "Must be twenty of them there."

"I counted twenty-four," Neier said.

"But there haven’t been that many Saiyans on Toth-Thoth in the past two *years*," Bret said.   "I don't think there's two dozen Saiyans in the whole sector."

"Like I said, whoever did this may already be long gone," Neier said.  "I don’t know why he left behind his collection of trophies, but I doubt he’s finished hunting.  He’s out there somewhere, waiting to kill again."

*******

[26 February 234 Before Age.   Nat-Chezz II.]

Inspired by Luffa's exploits, Zaperc had tried to follow in her footsteps, but the path was even more difficult than he had expected.   Most of the galaxy only knew Luffa by reputation and rumor, and even the planets she had fought for had only a vague idea of who she was and how she operated.   In desperation, Zaperc had turned to an unauthorized biography-cum-self-help book entitled "The Luffa Way".   He then assembled a band of followers and led them here, to Nat-Chezz II, where he planned to protect it from invaders, just as Luffa had done for other planets.   It was going well, right until the real Luffa showed up and turned his entire movement upside down.  

Meeting her was an honor, though she was very different from what Zaperc had envisioned.  For one thing, Luffa was a woman, and she acted very much like most off the typical Saiyans he had known throughout his life.  At the same time, she had an idealistic streak that put his own lofty dreams to shame.  

Zaperc longed to achieve greater glory, if not for himself, then for his son, and for the Saiyan race as a whole.    Luffa, however, seemed to have an almost apocalyptic worldview at times.  She never quite came out and said so, but she seemed almost disappointed that she wasn't constantly fighting a desperate battle to the death.  All Saiyans loved to fight, but there was something different about her, something that ran deeper than the golden transformation she used to manifest her immense power.  

He wondered if Luffa had been changed by her evolution, or if she had been that way from the start.   As he and his followers sat in a half-circle to learn at her feet, he hoped that the answers would come forth through her lessons.   Thus far, however, all he had learned was that she was a very unorthodox teacher, and she didn't seem to care if it made her students impatient.  

Standing before them, Luffa balanced herself on the toes of  her right foot.   She then crossed her left leg over her right thigh, bending her knee such that her left foot was pointing toward the sky.    

“I know this seems a little weird,” she said, “but it’s a pretty effective technique, especially when you’re surrounded by multiple enemies.   Now, you’ll want to put your left arm up like this, elbow straight, with the wrist bent so your hand is over your head, palm down.   Then you put your right arm up like this, parallel to your shoulders.  Bend the elbow and bring your right hand palm up in front of your chest.    It’s like you’re using your hands to sort of frame your face.   The pose is critical to the technique, so if you get it wrong you could be wide open to an attack.  Any questions so far?”

Brockle raised his hand.   Zaperc smiled with pride.   While he was grateful for all his followers, he hoped that his son would benefit from these lessons most of all.   Brockle was extremely talented for his age, and with the right guidance, Zaperc was sure he could become a warrior on Luffa's level.  He lacked patience, true, but at least he was asking questions about Luffa's skills instead of resenting her for them.  

“Go ahead Brockle,” Luffa said.  

“Why the hell are we doing this?”  Brockle asked.  

Zaperc sighed and closed his eyes.   Brockle still had a long way to go.

“Because the Shiei Fist is a brilliant technique,” Luffa replied.   “I picked it up while fighting a horde of shadow warriors on Planet Zansu.   The Zansans who developed it couldn’t do a whole lot with it, but in the hands of a Saiyan, the explosive wave is--”

“This is stupid!” Brockle growled.   “You said you would teach us something useful, and you’re showing off alien dance moves.”

Luffa dropped the pose and approached Brockle.  “Is that so?” she said.    “Well maybe you’d like to teach me something.”

Brockle sniffed with contempt.  “What’s the use?” he asked.  “You’re so strong, you can afford to use whatever sloppy techniques you please.”

“Oh, is that my problem?” Luffa said.    “You admit that I’m stronger than you, so you want to salve your ego by pretending you have more finesse.    Well I’ll tell you what, Brockle.   Why don’t you show me your finishing technique, your ultimate move, and I’ll evaluate it for you.”

“You’re on,” Brockle said.   “It’ll be worth it to put you in your place for once, woman.”  

In spite of the hostility between Luffa and Brockle, Zaperc was hopeful.   As much as he wanted Brockle to respect Luffa, he also longed for Luffa to recognize Brockle's potential, to see Brockle the way Zaperc did.  Perhaps this demonstration would show her that Brockle was worthy of her respect.    

Luffa waved for Brockle to begin, and he gathered his ki, powering up to his maximum strength.   Luffa watched him and crossed her arms, apparently fascinated to see what he would do.  

He held his hands in front of his face and made the tips of his index fingers glow crimson.    Then he began to wave his fingers in an intricate pattern, weaving a complex image of red light that trailed his hands as they moved.   In a matter of seconds, he had created a globe of criss-crossed energy tendrils, and he smiled arrogantly as it floated above his outstretched palm.    

“The Devil Mesh!” Brockle announced.   “I can make it change direction, but it can also alter its shape in mid-flight.  It can tangle enemies like a net, or impale them like a spear!”

Zaperc beamed with pride.   The Devil Mesh was based upon simpler techniques Zaperc had used for decades.   Brockle had managed to refine them into something far greater, and he seemed to complete the execution of the technique a little faster each time he tried it.  

Luffa rubbed her chin thoughtfully as she considered what he had made.    “Interesting,” she said.   “It’s a little too clever by half, but I like the versatility.”

“It’s only ‘too clever’ because you’re too stupid to do it yourself!” Brockle snarled. 

“Well, I’ll give it a try,” Luffa said.  

To Zaperc's surprise, she didn’t bother building up her ki.   Instead she simply made all ten of her fingertips glow, and she waved them around with an intense speed, completing a globe like Brockle’s in a fraction of the time.  

“That... you can’t...” Brockle gasped.  

“I just did,” Luffa said.   “It’s a little tricky, but kind of fun to play with.    It’d make a good training exercise for a kid.   And it’d be a good lesson on spotting weaknesses in techniques.”

“Fool!” Brockle growled.   “There is no weakness to the Devil Mesh!”  

Luffa pointed her finger at Brockle and fired a thin beam of light at the crimson sphere floating over his hand.    

It exploded in his face.    

“It’s so complex that it's unstable,” Luffa said.   She waited for him to finish coughing before she continued her explanation.   “If you actually made one of those in the middle of a fight, your enemy could easily sabotage it before you’d ever get a chance to use it.   It wouldn’t even take much power to pull that off.   Even a weakened or dying opponent could still have enough energy to take you down with him.”

Zaperc was stunned, almost as if the Devil Mesh had exploded in his own face.  Only a moment ago, he thought of it as his son's greatest achievement, and Luffa had deconstructed it with ease.  She didn't even need her Super Saiyan form to do it.   He knew she was powerful, and he had long assumed she was brilliant, but this was beyond anything he could have imagined!

She quickly dismantled her own Devil Mesh  before any of her students got any bright ideas.    “Now, maybe we can get back to the Shiei Fist?”

Brockle gnashed his teeth as he sat back down.  Zaperc wished he could offer him some sort of encouragement, but it was better to let things take their course.   Luffa's training was a bitter pill to swallow, but she *was* the Super Saiyan.   If she couldn't show Brockle the way to the next level, then no one could.

*******

Deep in the dense, treacherous jungle the Saiyan had been using for training, Zatte was helping Jikama to his feet.  

"How long was I out?" he asked as he rubbed his forehead.  

"About an hour," Zatte said.  

"You've been waiting here for me to wake up this whole time?" Jikama asked.   He rose to his full height, and while he wasn't quite as tall as some of his comrades, he was still massive enough for Zatte to fit entirely in his shadow.

"Normally, I wouldn't stick around," Zatte said with a shrug.  "But you're not nearly as sore a loser as the others.   Especially Hijik.  I took him down about six hundred yards that way.  Went back and shot him again twenty minutes ago, just to prove a point."

She patted the large pistol holstered on her hip as she said this.  

"It's because I'm only half-Saiyan," Jikama said.  "I find I'm not nearly as hot-headed as the rest of them."

"I don't care if you're half, full, or double-Saiyan," Zatte said.  "Hijik's a dick, and being a dick for no good reason is a good way to get yourself killed.  Anyway, my wife's as pure-blooded as he is, and she still knows how to show a little respect."

Jikama chuckled.   "Not to me, she doesn't," he said.  

Zatte made a concerned frown as she looked up at him.   "Something bothering you, Jikama?" she asked.  "I know Luffa's rough on you guys, but it's for your own good, trust me."

He shook his head and smiled.   "It's nothing I'm not used to," he said.   "Saiyans look down on half-breeds like me.  Oh, the others are accepting enough, but only up to a point.  Aliens like you are on thing, but a half-Chezzi like me will always be one foot in, one foot out."

Zatte nodded.  "But you did really well today.   That's why I hung around, to congratulate you.  You tracked me down to within fifty feet.   I don't know how you kept picking up my trail, but I'm impressed."

"I knew I couldn't rely on smell or sound," Jikama said, "and your power lets you hide your ki, so I decided to try focusing on the ki of our surroundings instead."  He waved his thick arm at the jungle canopy over their heads.  "I figured your powers would slightly affect my perception of the life energy from the trees and grass as you came into contact with them, and it worked, but the difference was too slight to get a fix on your location."

"Nice," Zatte said.  "You'll have to hone your senses until you can get a fix.  And I'll have to work on covering my tracks a little better.   You're resourceful, Jikama.   That's the high praise where I come from, and if Luffa doesn't appreciate that, she'll get an earful from me."

"That's kind of you to say," Jikama said anxiously, "but I wouldn't want to cause any arguments between the two of you."

"Trust me, one more won't hurt," Zatte said.  "Maybe the other Saiyans won't respect you, but I expect better from Luffa."

"To be fair," Jikama said, "I will say that I find her a refreshing change from most Saiyans I've met."

"What do you mean?" Zatte asked.  

Jikama shrugged.  "She looks down on me, sure," he said, "but she seems almost more disappointed with the purebreds."

*******

[28 February 234 Before Age.  Bigreen.]

Chirad was a librarian and aspiring historian, but after he helped Luffa save Planet Bigreen from the evil Hamey, he had been hailed as a great hero.  He was only one-quarter Saiyan, and his power was only a meager fraction of Luffa’s might, but the Bigreenese still adored him as their local champion, and revered him as an expert on Saiyans.

While he appreciated their esteem, he knew he didn’t deserve it.  Luffa and her friends had done most of the work in liberating Bigreen, but they had gone and he had stayed, and so his role in the adventure had been amplified in the public opinion.  All that really mattered to him was that it got the girl from the Special Collections desk to finally notice him.

"Now just wait here, Emeral, I’ll speak with the Director and it should only take a minute and then when I get done heh-heh.  We’ll go see a movie!  How’s that?"

She lolled her head to one side and made a high-pitched giggle, which Chirad took as a sign of approval.  Just as he was about to enter the Security Director’s office, the door opened, and someone stepped out to greet him.

"Ah, you must be Chirad," he said cordially.  "Yes, of course you are I’d recognize that wild mane of black hair anywhere.  Very rugged, it suits a man like you, a descendant of the Space Warriors, mmm yes indeed won’t you come inside?"

Chirad was surprised.  "Uhhhhh... Director Pine I was just about to go into your office wow how about that, weird."

Pine led him inside and offered him a seat across from his desk.  "I’m afraid the situation is very serious, Chirad, though I wish it wasn’t ohhhhh, I certainly hope you can help us errr... please have a seat, oh, well you already have heh heh heh.  Very convenient.  I don't mind at all!"

Chirad only knew that a Saiyan had arrived on Bigreen recently.  This was not unusual in itself, as Bigreen was on very friendly terms with Saiyans from all walks of life.  But Chirad knew that something must have gone wrong, or they wouldn’t have asked for him to get involved.

"Director," he said, "if you need someone beaten up, well, I’ll help my planet any way that I can but I’m not that strong.  I mean I’m stronger than most people but when it comes to Space Warriors... uhhhh?"

"Ah, you’re too modest, Chirad," the Director said.  "But I only wish it were that simple.  Yes a powerful menace that even you couldn’t defeat what a treat that would be compared to this!  Even if you failed to save us we could always contact your friend Ruhffer to come and save us.   Yes, I doubt that any normal enemy could stand against a Space Super Warrior like her but our problem is very different look at this."

He tossed an envelope onto his desk and slid it over to where Chirad could reach it.  Chirad opened it to find several crime scene photographs of a dead woman clad in traditional Saiyan attire.  There was no sign of any wounds, except for the amputation of her tail.  There was also an autopsy report that concluded the Saiyan had been poisoned by an unidentified toxin.

"Now, Chirad, as you already know, we like to maintain good relations with the Space Warriors and their home planet of Saiya," Pine said.  "That’s why it’s especially bad that this woman isn’t just a murder victim oh no.  She was also a minister--that’s right-- in the court of King Rehval, yes the very King of the Space Warriors!"

"Then you mean the King of the Space Warriors sent his minister here?" Chirad asked.

"Hmm?  Not in an official capacity you see no she was here on personal business though I’m not privy to such matters, being personal as they so often are," Pine said.

Chirad understood.  Even if the minister hadn’t been attached to a diplomatic envoy, her murder would still be a strain on Bigreenese/Saiyan relations.  He still had more questions than answers, but at least now he understood why the highest law enforcement official on the planet was involved with the case.

What Chirad still didn’t know was how he was supposed to help with any of this, but somehow he doubted that he and Emeral were going to make it in time to see that movie he promised her.

NEXT: The Roles We Fill

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (71/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

Previous chapters conveniently available here.

[6 February 234 Before Age.  Nat-Chezz II.]

“There, you see, it was written right here in the book.”

Zaperc held the dog-eared paperback open with one hand and jabbed his leathery finger onto a particular page he had highlighted.  Despite being completely outmatched, he seemed to be utterly assured that the book would somehow vindicate him.

Luffa snatched it away from him and glanced at the cover.  She was about to ask if Zaperc had lost his mind, until she saw her own name.

The book was entitled: The Luffa Way: The Path to Unlocking the Success Secrets and Awakening Your Inner Legend.    There was a picture of a glowing golden figure, which Luffa supposed was meant to be her, but it looked more like a Saiyan man.  On the back cover was a small photograph of the author, an unctuous-looking man with a toothy, insincere grin and a pretentious gleam in his eyes.

“Who the hell is this guy?” Luffa demanded.   “I had nothing to do with this!”

“But... but how did you manage to unlock your inner legend without Luffa’s book?”  Zaperc asked.

“I am Luffa, you dimwit!” she shouted.  She pointed at the short, thick hair that now glowed yellow on her scalp.  “And I didn’t get this way by reading any book.”

At her feet, Zaperc’s son, Brockle, rolled away from her and sat upright.  “Don’t be... don’t be ridiculous!” he said as he struggled to catch his breath.  “You can’t be Luffa!  According to the book—“

“The book!” Luffa growled.  “The book!  Is that why you weaklings took over this planet?  So you could sit around and read all day?!”

“Weaklings?” Brockle sputtered.  “How dare—?”

With a contemptuous snort, Luffa tapped him on the shoulder and he collapsed to the floor.  Ignoring his groaning, she sat on his back and started flipping through the pages.

“I’ve been photographed at least a hundred thousand times,” she grumbled.  “Can’t even wear that sundress I bought without some creep waiting for me to fly away.”

“Brockle!” cried Zaperc.

“Get... off.... me!” Brockle grunted.

“Oh, it was always satisfying to kill them,” Luffa muttered to herself.  “That look in their eyes when they realized they just laid down their lives for a picture of somebody’s butt.  But there was no challenge to it, and I can’t just waste my life picking off photographers.”

“Believe in your inner legend, son!” Zaperc said.  “You can do it!”

But Brockle could not do it.  Though he flailed his arms and legs mightily, Luffa had him pinned firmly to the ground.  She crossed her knees and licked her finger as she continued to page through the book.

“All they’ve got in here are 'artists’ conceptions',” Luffa said.  “And every 'eyewitness account' I see in here is from some planet I’ve never been to!  Wait a minute.  Planet Krouton?  That’s not even a real planet!”

“You can do it, son!” Zaperc cheered.  “Unless... she really is Luffa...”

“I went to Krouton in some made-up story a fan wrote about me!” Luffa seethed. She looked up at Zaperc with disbelief.  “Whoever wrote this thing must have seen the same thing and thought it was a true story!   You mean you twits were taking advice from this?  No wonder you’re all so weak!”

“But there has to be some truth to it,” Zaperc said.  “Your transformed state.  Your role in creating the Federation... and you defeated thirty Saiyans on Vedev III—“

“Fifty Saiyans,” Luffa said sharply.  “And most of that bunch were a lot stronger than your little band of raiders.”

“Raiders!” Zaperc exclaimed.  “No, you don’t understand!    We didn’t come here to loot this world.  We came here to be its champions!”

Luffa closed the book and glared at him suspiciously.

*******

In the galley of the Emerald Eye, Luffa chopped vegetables while Zatte leaned against the opposite counter.

“Let me get this straight,” Zatte said between bites of a taproot.  “Some guy you’ve never heard of wrote a self-help book, and made it all about you.  Even though he’s never met you, and he never got permission from you.”

“Right,” Luffa said without looking up from her work.  “You want some blue-cress in this?  I’m in the mood for blue-cress.”

“Go for it,” Zatte said.  “But this guy writes a book and puts your name on it to help it sell. Then this Zaperc guy buys a copy, and he thinks it’s some kind of Saiyan Holybook.”

Luffa tensed up at the sound of that, and the rhythm of her knife on the cutting board was disrupted.  “I mean, yeah,” Luffa said, “but when you put it that way...”

“But I thought the other Saiyans all believed you were a phony,” Zatte said.  “They don’t believe Saiyans can transform the way you do, so they think you’re not a real Saiyan.”

“Apparently the guy who wrote that book did a better job convincing Zaperc than I ever could,” Luffa said.  “Not that I ever tried to convince anyone.  If my people want to pretend I’m an alien imposter to soothe their egos, that’s their problem.  But Zaperc’s gang is buying into a whole other set of lies.   He thinks I’m a man who awakened his 'inner legend’ through the power of positive thinking or some other malarkey.”

“Don’t be too hard on them,” Zatte said.  “Positivity got them this far, didn’t it?  They got your attention, after all.”

“But they didn’t come to this planet to get my attention,” Luffa said.  “They came here to make some half-assed imitation of what I did with the Federation.    They want to defend Nat-Chezz from anyone who tries to invade it.  Sort of what I’ve been doing, but on a smaller scale.”

“And it worked,” Zatte said.  “You showed up and gave them a bigger challenge than they ever would have found roaming around space, picking fights they knew they could win.”

“Challenge,” Luffa scoffed.  “Against me, they’re like a bunch of ants trying to bring down a dinosaur.”

“What about the Chezzi?” Zatte asked.  “Are they okay with their new ’champions’?”

“I talked to their king,” Luffa said.  “He’s totally on board with this idea, but I think it’s just because he likes having a bunch of Saiyans working for him.  A lot of big shots are like that.  They see a Saiyan bodyguard as a status symbol.  ‘Look at me, this guy can fight a whole army and he does whatever I tell him.’  That kind of thing.”

“Like when Wildthyme was controlling us,” Zatte said.

“Exactly,” Luffa said, pausing to point her knife at the ceiling.  “That little bastard could have made me do all sorts of things for him, but all he really wanted was for me to stand around and make him feel important.  Same thing here, only I don’t think the Chezzi king knows what he’s gotten himself into.”

“Do they even need protection?” Zatte asked.

Luffa nodded while she scraped diced peppers into a bowl.  “They’ve got a lot of scandium resources, whatever that is.  They’ve been conquered a few times before, which is probably why those villagers I talked to were so confused.  They probably just thought I was kicking Zaperc out to seize the planet for myself.”

“This sounds kind of complicated,” Zatte said.

“I know.  That’s why I’m gonna uncomplicate it.  If these fourth-rate Saiyans are going to go around interfering in people’s business, that’s one thing.  But they’re doing it in my name, and that really ticks me off.”

“Where do we start?” Zatte asked.

“We?” Luffa asked.  “These are Saiyans, Zattie.  They may be weaklings, but they’re still dangerous.”

“I’ve lived with one for a while,” Zatte said.  “She’s moody, but I eventually showed her who’s boss.”

“Yeah, well this is serious, boss,” Luffa said.

“So am I,” Zatte said.  “Like it or not, you’re an inspiration to these people, just like you’re an inspiration to me.  It’s going to be weird for them to see their golden hero as a real person.  I still have trouble with it sometimes, and I’ve known you for years.  I might be able to connect with them better than you can.”

Luffa continued chopping silently for a while, then at last said: “Okay, maybe you’ve got a point.  I’ll bring you along.”

Zatte began to make an excited noise, until Luffa cut her off by adding: “On one condition.  Don’t embarrass me in front of them.  Most of them still don’t know what to make of me.   The last thing I need is an oversexed Dorlun confusing them even more.”

“Of course not,” Zatte said.  “I know how you feel about public displays of affection.”

“I’m not saying you need to pretend like you don’t know me,” Luffa said.  “Handholding is fine.  No kissing, though.”

“I know the drill.”

“I mean it, Zattie.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

*******

[7 February 234 Before Age.  Nat-Chezz II.]

The Saiyans were gathered together just outside “Fort Luffa”, which was a mansion that had been donated by a wealthy Chezzi, albeit begrudgingly.  Some of them were sitting on the ground or large stones, while others had taken furniture from the mansion.    Luffa’s star-yacht was parked a hundred yards away.

There were seven in all.  Zaperc was about sixty, but Saiyans aged very little through most of their life span, and so he looked very much like his young son, Brockle.  Both were pale skinned, but Brockle was a head taller than his father, while Zaperc had a long ghoatee at the end of his chin.

Lounging on a couch was Bodi, the first Saiyan Luffa had encountered on this planet.   He kept leering at her over a pair of cheap sunglasses, and raising one of his thick eyebrows as if to convey his interest.  The last time he had tried to flirt with Luffa, she knocked the wind out of him.  Apparently that punch hadn’t gotten the message across, or he just looked like that all the time.  Luffa planned to hit him again either way.

Vigurd had a very stocky body, the sort that would strike terror into the hearts of her enemies, except that her ruddy, cherubic face had a sickly sweet innocence to it that completely undermined her attitude.  She was scowling at Luffa for giving her a bloody nose in their last encounter, but her angry expression only made her look even cuter.  It was a sad lot in life to be so adorable, but Luffa respected Vigurd’s determination to overcome her deformity.

Lesseri, on the other hand, was at least 70 inches tall, with an extremely muscular build and long shaggy hair that went down to her hips.  Her complexion was somewhat darker than Luffa’s which seemed to compliment the countours of her mesomorphic body.  Luffa was a married woman, of course, but a Saiyan with Lesseri’s physique made her consider what might have been.

Hijik was a thin, bitter-looking man with only a tuft of black hair at the center of his otherwise bare scalp.  He beady eyes regarded Luff with complete contempt.  It was obvious to her that his disdain for her ran deeper than her quick victory over their group yesterday.

Finally, there was Jikama, who barely warranted Luffa’s attention.  He had red hair and eyes, and his build was chunky, but not to the same extend at Vigurd.  Like the others he viewed Luffa with distrust, but she cared very little what any of them thought of her.  All she wanted from them now was her attention.

“You claim to be defending this planet, but none of you even sensed me coming until I was already in your lair,” Luffa said.  “I wasn’t using my full power, but I still should have been hard to miss, so I’m guessing that means none of you were paying attention.”

Zaperc was the first to speak up for the group.  “We were, uh, resting after a long patrol—“

“All seven of you?” Luffa asked.  “At the same time?  If I had been a real enemy I could have destroyed you all from orbit.”

“Where do you get off telling us how to handle ourselves?” Hijik demanded.  “I only joined this group because Zaperc said it would help me get stronger.”  He glanced at Vigurd and Lesseri before turning back to Luffa.  “But so far all I’ve gotten is an earful from a bunch of women.”

Luffa smiled.    “I thought you might have a beef with me, Hijik,” she said.  “So let’s get it out into the open.”

“You’re no Super Saiyan,” Hijik said.  “I don’t know what that transformation is, but you can’t be as strong as Chanisp was.”

“And why not?” Luffa asked.

“Because...!  Because look at you!  Everyone knows Saiyan women lack the fighting skills of men.  You can’t get angry enough to tap into your full power.    It’s simple biology!”

“Come and show me then,” Luffa said.  She held out her arm and curled in her fingers to invite him to attack.  “Unless you’re afraid.”

Vigurd and Lesseri chuckled at this.  Zaperc looked at him expectantly, but Hijik didn’t move.

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he scoffed.  “You’ll just thrash me like you did yesterday, and pretend you’ve proven me wrong.  Well let me tell you something: You women have been pushing us around long enough, and if you’re not careful—“

“Let me tell you something, Hijak,” Luffa broke in.  “You’re all talk.  I’m guessing you only threw in with Zaperc because you wanted to find some shortcut, some way to prove you’re genetically superior to half of our race.  If I were a man, you’d take that as proof that you’re further ahead than any Saiyan woman, even if they happen to be stronger than you.  But I’m not a man, am I?  So where does that leave you?  Let’s find out.”

Luffa snapped her fingers and suddenly Zatte appeared beside her, as though materializing out of thin air.  She dropped a supply bag at her feet and  waved cordially to the group.

“Who’s she?” Brockle asked.

“She’s my wife,” Luffa said.

“Oh, wonderful,” Hijik grumbled.

“Zatte isn’t very strong,” Luffa said, but she’s got some interesting abilities.  You’ve already seen how she can camouflage herself.  Even I couldn’t sense her until she revealed hersel—“

Luffa happened to glance at Zatte while she spoke, and this completely derailed her train of thought.  The Dorlun woman was wearing a one-piece swimsuit, with the words “Super Saiyan Club President” printed on the front. The rest of her outfit consisted of combat boots, a cropped leather jacket, gun holsters strapped to her bare legs, and her usual eyepatch.  She was eating a small lollipop, and occasionally adjusted the stick with her hand.

“There’s a club?” asked Vigurd.

Luffa stared at Zatte, who grinned back at her.  “We talked about this,” Luffa whispered.

“It’s hot out here,” Zatte said.  “And this is my favorite swimsuit.  Unless you wanted me to go back to the ship and get the one you seem to like so much.”  She reached out and tapped Luffa on the tip of her nose when she said "you".

“No!” Luffa said quickly, her face turning red.  “No, this is fine.”

“I knew you’d see things my way, dear,” Zatte said as she kissed Luffa on the cheek.

“Hey!” Luffa yelped.

“Enough of this!” Hijik whined.  “I didn’t come here to watch you show off your alien consort!”

"I *brought* her here as a challenge," Luffa said, suddenly regaining her focus.  "You don’t seem to eager to fight me Hijik, so why don’t you take on her?"

"That’s absurd!" Brockle objected.

"Is it?!" Luffa shouted.  "Your father was willing to do whatever I said when he thought it was in that stupid book!  Well, I flipped through it last night, and I did find a couple of things I liked.  "That line about 'Never backing down from a challenge’?"

Brockle looked to Zaperc, who nodded in agreement.

"You shouldn’t need me or anyone else to tell you that.  Least of all some alien hack who’s never set foot on a battlefield," Luffa went on.  "It should be burning in your blood.   You should be excited to fight me, Hijik, or Zatte, or anyone else who comes along.  But you’re too afraid of losing, of having to rethink your opinions."

"What species is she?" Hijik asked carefully.

"What difference does it make?" Luffa demanded.  "You’re strong enough to defeat her.    You have the advantage, which was why I planned to drop you two off in a jungle a couple thousand miles from here.    Nice game of hide and seek."

Zatte took a pistol from one of her holsters and checked the settings.  "You did say you wanted heavy stun, right?" she asked.

"Definitely," Luffa said.  "You might have to hit some of these guys twice to bring them down though."

"Whatever you say, sweetie," Zatte said.

Luffa blushed again, and a few of the other Saiyans did as well.

"Will you cut that out?" Luffa hissed.

Zatte simply grinned and checked her other weapons.

"But... I can’t sense her ki," Hijik blubbered.  "And if she can become invisible..."

Bodi suddenly stood up and removed his glasses.  "So it’s a snipe hunt?  Very well!  I accept.  Tracking pretty girls is my specialty.  Take heart, Hijik!  If this alien smells as lovely in the jungle as she does here, then the day is already won."  He struck a pose and added:  "Game Over!"

Luffa took one of Zatte’s guns and shot him Bodi in the chest.  He curled up into a ball and began groaning from the pain.

"He’s right," Luffa said.  "You can sniff her out, but don’t think that she’ll just stand still and leave an easy trail to follow.  Not to mention that she’ll be hunting you while you hunt for her.  One time she...  what is that?"

They all began curiously sniffing at the air, except for Zatte, who was spraying something onto her body.

"Camphor," Zatte said.  "It’s good insect repellent, and the smell’s kind of nice.  I always bring along way more than I need, though."

She looked at the bottle and stroked her chin.  "Well, whatever I don’t use, I can always dump onto a tree or something."

Luffa was genuinely surprised by this.  "Well," she said.   “So much for trackin her scene.   I guess you could still hear her if you pay close attention."

"None of you heard me when I put all those stinkbombs a few minutes ago," Zatte said.

Vigurd blinked twice and asked "What stinkbo-- AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!"

Suddenly they were all holding their noses and groaning as a putrid, sulfurous odor permeated the entire site.  Luffa took a step back, but she was too amazed by Zatte’s tactics to properly defend herself against them.

"I know my weaknesses," Zatte explained.  "And I take steps to compensate for them.  More importantly, I make it my business to know my enemy’s weaknesses.  You Saiyans are used to getting by with brute force solutions, but small fry like me don’t always have that luxury."

She approached Luffa and wrapped her arms around her.  Luffa was perturbed, but didn’t try to stop her.  "I’ve watched this lady do some incredible thing,” Zatte said.  “But I’ve also had to wash skunk spray off her because she didn’t think ahead.  She could blow up this whole planet, but she gets uptight if I get too affectionate around other people."

She pointed at Hijik.  "And you," she said.  "You’re more easily flustered than Luffa is, but nowhere near as strong.  The sad thing is that you’ve got a good chance of catching me in that jungle, but you’re so afraid of getting shown up by an alien woman that you’ve already mentally given up."

"This is stupid," Hijik whined.  "You two are just setting me up to fail!  Why should I play your sick game if I can’t win?"

"Because failure is the best teacher," Luffa said.  "I didn’t get this strong by being undefeated.  Neither did Chanisp or Old Darbock, or the other old heroes.  We Saiyans grow stronger when we’re pushed to our limits.  Or did you forget that because it wasn’t written in that book of yours?"

Zaperc shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"You should be fortifying the planet," Luffa said.  "Drilling with each other and planning defense strategies with the local military.  I didn’t start the Federation so I could lounge around in someone else’s house all day while I waited for an easy opponent to show up at my door," Luffa said.  "I was looking for a challenge.  Something to work on.

"The Chezzi king authorized our use of the mansion," Brockle said as he pointed towards it.

"Fine, but he’s not forcing you to stay inside it all day!" Luffa replied.  "None of you were remotely prepared for a fight."

"So what?" Lesseri asked.  "You would have beaten us either way.  I told you it was stupid to stay in one place, Zaperc.  It takes away our option to retreat."

"Retreat?!" Luffa shouted.  "Is that all you think of when a strong opponent shows up?  Where’s your Saiyan pride?"

"What good is pride if I’m dead?" Lesseri said with a shrug.

"My people say the same thing," Zatte said with an understanding smile. 

Luffa shot her a dirty look and Zatte quickly added: "Sorry."

"I’l let you all in on a little secret,” Luffa said with an evil grin.  “We’re all going to die.  How and when is up to us.  Or did your mother tell you differently, Lesseri?  When she taught you to fight, did she tell you not to bother, since you’d just outlive all your enemies anyway?"

"My mother?" Lesseri scoffed.  "She abandoned me to a gestation facility as soon as she found out she was pregnant."  She raised her arm and flexed it, showing off her sizeable bicep.  "I got this far on my own."

Luffa was shocked by her words.  "Gestation facility!?" she exclaimed.

"The one on Wexloi Sigma?" Vigurd asked.

"Matter of fact, yeah," Lesseri said.

"They’ve got a good outfit there," Vigurd said.  "I had my twins gestated there."

"How could you let them do that to your own children?!" Luffa gasped.

"Let them?"  Vigurd said with a laugh.  "It was my idea, ’sweetie’.  They certainly charged me enough for it.  6500 credits just for the prenatal extraction."

"Ouch," Lesseri said.

"That’s per embryo, by the way," Vigurd added.  "Which is stupid.  It’s not like they had to do two surgeries.  And don’t get me started on the nutrient bath fees."

"That’s monstrous!" Luffa said.  "Why would you--?"

"What was I supposed to do?" Vigurd shot back.  "Lounge around the house until I gave birth to them?  Skip perfectly good battles just to nurse a pair of ungrateful brats?  Where’s your Saiyan pride?"

Luffa clenched her fists and began grinding her teeth.

"Hey, uh, maybe we need to get on with the training," Zatte said.  "I’ve got the jungle’s coordinates, so we can all just rendezvous there and get started--"

“Good point, Vigurd,” Lesseri said.   “Seize the day, I always say.   You can’t wait for your enemies to die of old age.   At least, that’s what that bitchy Super Saiyan told me.”

Luffa cut her off.  "Since you like options so much, Lesseri, I’ll give you all one.  You can either help Hijik chase Zatte in the jungle, or you can spar with me."

"Suits me fine," Lesseri said.  "I’d rather take a beating than listen to any more of your sermons."

"Fall.  Out."  Luffa said through gritted teeth.

*******

"Well, that could have gone better," Zatte said after they were gone.

Luffa didn’t answer, except to make a low growl.

"I’m, uh, sorry for how I acted," Zatte said.  "I was trying to get a psychological edge, and I figured if I could throw you off balance, then I could definitely rattle them."

"You were great, Zattie," she said.  "Took me a while to catch on, but you’re a genius.  You knew just what buttons to push."

"Oh, well... thanks.  Listen, we knew they’d be rough around the edges.  They’re angry and disillusioned, and we’re gonna have to break them down before we can build them back up.  So don’t let anything they say get to you--"

"That’s not it," Luffa muttered."

"Then what’s wrong?" Zatte said.

Luffa looked at her and sighed.  Her expression was as wild and resolute as ever, but Zatte couldn’t help but noticed a weariness in Luffa’s eyes.

"I’m not sure what’s wrong," Luffa said grimly.  "But I’m starting to think it might be me."

NEXT: The Games We Play

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (70/?)

Nanwum Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Nanwum Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

Previous chapters conveniently available here.

[4 February 234 Before Age.  Shafulb.]

Drang Dedruhn was the supreme authority on the planet Shafulb, but not really.

She was a plump humanoid, with lustrous skin that was black on her back and head, and white from her jaw down the front of her torso.  The Shafulb were a semi-aquatic species, each possessing a healthy layer of blubber, but she was a bit rounder and more voluptuous than most.  Her office afforded her what was known as a “pontifical apartment”, a very humble term for what was in reality a penthouse suite.    Here, she lounged on a divan on the balcony overlooking the seaside, and savored a midday snack of pickled fish.  Between bites, she would lick the brine from her thick, flipper-like fingers, and contemplate her place in galactic history.    Despite her lofty titles, she had to admit that her position was tentative at best.

In the strictest sense, she was merely the high priestess of the planet’s largest religion, no more than a humble spiritual leader.  In practice, her office had outlasted and overshadowed every secular administration and institution in Shafulb’s history.  Regimes rose and fell, but the church endured, and the people came to depend upon it more with each century.  Long before Drang’s ascension, the office of high priestess had become indistinguishable from that of a temporal head of state.  Her vows precluded her from violence, but she had waged countless wars against the other regional powers in Shafulb’s sector of the galaxy.  She had sworn an oath of poverty, but in practice this meant that she had to employ some creative bookkeeping rather than deny herself any worldly pleasures.  Her sole duty was supposed to be safeguarding the souls of her followers for their passage into the afterlife, but she spent most of her time consolidating her power and riding herd over various bureaucracies.  She was supposed to be the most fervent believer in the state religion, but a life in the political arena had made her cynical and pragmatic.

As for her supposed ’supremacy’, it was superseded by the compromises she had made with the rest of the universe.    She had been locked in rivalries with other planets for decades, making and breaking alliances, fighting wars to jockey for position, and negotiating treaties to hold whatever gains she could make.  And then Luffa changed everything.

Luffa was a Saiyan mercenary, but she was more powerful than any Drang had ever encountered.  No one was sure what had happened to her, but the rumors said that she fought some terrible battle in a remote part of the galaxy, and was transformed by the experience.  Saiyans were incredibly strong to begin with, but Luffa had the power to transform herself into an even stronger, more violent creature.  She called herself a “Super Saiyan”, and while Drang had once dismissed this as a marketing ploy, she soon learned that Luffa wasn’t like the others of her race.  Where other Saiyans saw mercenary work as an enjoyable way to make a living, Luffa grew bored with it.  The wars Drang waged for Shafulb were mere child’s play for Luffa, so one day she changed the game.  Luffa arranged a summit with Drang and the other regional leaders, and coerced them to form an alliance backed by Luffa’s immense power.

The Federation became a great success, as other worlds rushed to join eager to reap the benefits of a mutual defense pact underwritten by an invincible warrior.  Drang and the other leaders retained their authority over their own worlds, and they managed to cooperate well enough to run the Federation, but there was no mistaking who the real power was.

Luffa’s motives were as simple as they were baffling to Drang.    The Saiyan had no interest in ruling the Federation worlds.  She was content to act as an enforcer, protecting the alliance from outside threats, and stepping in to resolve internal disputes.  In short, Luffa had the power to bend multiple planets to her will, yet she continually declined to do so.

This irritated Drang greatly.  She rather liked Luffa personally, but the Saiyan’s lack of political aspirations was vexing.  To have so much power and so little use for it!  And this was what made Drang’s “supremacy” a joke.  Luffa could depose Drang in a day if she wished.  The Super Saiyan could conquer Shafulb, or simply destroy the entire planet if it displeased her.  Whatever power and autonomy Drang enjoyed was merely a dispensation granted to her by Luffa.

It wasn’t all bad, of course.  Drang wasn’t so arrogant to think she had ever been truly supreme in the universe.  There were always bound to be more powerful forces out there, and it was nice to have one of them supporting Drang’s rule.  Luffa’s sole motive for establishing the Federation was to dare stronger enemies to attack it.  She had gotten her wish when the Shockmaster invaded the sector, and the war was only won by Luffa’s intervention.  Shafulb might have survived the Shockmaster, but Drang doubted that his yoke would have been any lighter than Luffa’s.

Now, a year after the Shockmaster’s defeat, Drang wondered what her next move should be, and whether or not that move would be for or against Luffa.  The Federation was a profitable venture, certainly, but Drang was beginning to wonder if it had outgrown the need for a Super Saiyan to maintain it.  Since defeating the Shockmaster, Luffa hardly spent any time in Federation space.  Had she grown bored with the Federation, just as she had grown bored of mercenary work?    Would she abandon her role in the Federation government, leaving behind a power vacuum?

During the war, Luffa had disappeared from the public in similar fashion, and one of her colleagues, Ryba Booth, had tried to take advantage of the situation.  His power play backfired, and he seemed to give up entirely once Luffa returned to win the war.  Most dismissed his scheme as folly, but Drang knew better.  Booth’s timing was bad, but his idea was sound.  Luffa couldn’t be driven out of the Federation, but if she could be convinced to leave and never return, it would be possible for one of them to seize power in her absence.    The key was to be the first to notice that Luffa wouldn’t be coming back.

Drang considered this dilemma as she scooped up a handful of morsels from a large bowl.  Was there a way to lure Luffa away from the Federation?  All she cared about was battle, and there seemed to be no opponent in the galaxy that could hold her attention for long.

The problem, Drang decided, was that no one really understood the woman.  Drang herself had a number of vices, for example.  She had a weakness for fine food.  She liked watching her enemies be publicly humiliated.   She enjoyed the way her people supplicated themselves to her.  These were hardly secrets, as Drang felt no particular shame about her less admirable traits.  She was petty and venal and she didn’t care who knew it.

By contrast, Luffa was an enigma.  She lived alone in a starship, possibly accompanied by a single aide.  There were rumors that she had a lover, perhaps an alien woman, but these were unsubstantiated.    If the lover did exist, then she was even more reclusive than Luffa.    All Drang really knew about Luffa’s personal habits was that she liked to cook.  It wasn’t enough to go on.

One question that stood out in Drang’s mind was: Why didn’t Luffa interact with her own people?  One would think that she would have invited Planet Saiya to joint the Federation.  Of, if Luffa despised her own people, she could have conquered then and ruled there instead of an alliance of alien worlds.

The more Drang thought about it, the more sure she became that her answers lay there, with Planet Saiya.  If Luffa wouldn’t reveal her own weaknesses to Drang, then perhaps she could find someone else who would...

*******

[4 February 234 Before Age.  Wrantool VI]

“Luffa, do you have anything you’d like to add?”

She shifted uncomfortably in her chair, and looked down at her knees.  “No,” she mumbled.

The blue-skinned, red-haired women in the chair beside her was much more forthcoming.  “She was telling me just before we got here how much these sessions were helping.  Right, Luffa?”

Luffa crossed her arms and looked up at the ceiling of the office.

“Zatte, we discussed this last time,” said the molluscoid behind the desk.  The nameplate on his office door read: “Dr. Shunga.”  “We agreed that Luffa can speak for herself.  She doesn’t have to share something if she doesn’t want to.”

“I’m just trying to help,” Zatte said.  “You know how she gets during these visits.”

Luffa shot Zatte a dirty look, then stood up and started pacing around the room.

“Oh here we go,” Zatte grumbled.  She opened her mouth to say more, but the man behind the desk raised one of his tentacled hands to signal for quiet.  Zatte sighed and slumped in her seat.

“Luffa, Zatte said you’ve been preparing more elaborate meals lately,” Dr. Shunga began.

“Nothing special,” she said.  “Just trying out some new things.  She likes Alteri cuisine, but we’re a long way from Alteri IV, so I thought I’d try a few recipes.  Made some for’cosh last night, nothing fancy.  Turned out pretty well.”

“It was great,” Zatte added.  “And so was the sadanash she made last week.  It’s like I’m living in a restaurant on Alteri IV, and I never have to wait in line.  I’m the only one who’s ever had her sadanash.  It’s an honor, really.”

Luffa shrugged.  “I’ve still got some kinks to iron out, but I think I’m getting the hang of it.   She thought it was too spicy, so I’m gonna tweak the recipe next time.”

“I never said it was too spicy,” Zatte said.  “I thought it was—“

The man raised his hand again before she could press the issue.  “Luffa, how did you know what Zatte thought about the meal?” he asked.

Luffa clenched her fists and turned away from him.  “I know, all right?”

“Is it because you used your telepathic powers to read her mind?” he asked evenly.

Luffa sighed.  “Yeah.”

Zatte was blushing now.  “It was my fault,” she said.  “We had a fight and I was upset and...”

“They’re my powers,” Luffa said.  “It’s my responsibility.  I should have said no.”

“Why didn’t you, Luffa?”  he asked.

Luffa stopped pacing and started rubbing her temples.  When she stopped she waved her hand at Zatte and said: “Look at her!  I couldn’t just refuse!  I’d do anything for her.  She... she needed to know that I still loved her.  I told her I did, but she needed to know.  And I guess... I needed to know she still loved me.”

She frowned at the man.  “Is that so bad?” she asked.

“In and of itself, not at all,” he said.  “But while you were linked,  reveling in your love for one another, you picked up stray thoughts you hadn’t bargained for.    Was the meal too spicy, Zatte?”

Zatte was suddenly tense.  “Well, yeah, a little.  But I didn’t hate it or anything.  I was just happy she made it for me.”

“But Luffa didn’t get that context when she probed your mind,” he explained.  “She only took your unspoken complaint, and let it build into resentment.”  He turned to Luffa, who had resumed pacing.  “Isn’t that right, Luffa?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” Zatte said.

“It’s my own fault, Zattie,” Luffa said.

“Let’s not dwell on assigning blame,” he said.    “You’ve both been using telepathy this way for some time now.  It’s completely natural.  Many of the couples I counsel do the same, but they had to learn to separate and ignore intrusive thoughts.  Luffa’s abilities are too broad and imprecise for that.   With time and moderation, you may learn to adapt to this.”

“But we just dove right in,” Luffa said.  “And we enjoyed it so much that we never stopped to consider it might have drawbacks.  Then before we knew it, we were over-relying on it... and barely speaking to each other.”

“It created a vicious cycle,” he said patiently.   “And you’ve been working together to break it.  I know it hasn’t been easy for either of you.  You’re used to using the mental link, and now you’re trying to repair your marriage without it.    It’s not unexpected that you’d backslide now and then, but it’s important that you share those expediences with me, so we can talk them out, defuse them before they have a chance to fester into resentment.”

“You’re right,” Luffa said.  “I didn’t think it was that big a deal, but I guess I just didn’t want to admit it.”

He turned to Zatte.  “Zatte, did were there any stray thoughts you picked up from Luffa that have been troubling you?”

“No,” she said quickly.  “I mean, it’s not... Well, it’s bedroom stuff.  We don’t have to talk about it here.”

“Like hell,” Luffa said.  Despite her insistence, her cheeks and ears were beet red.  “We came here to talk, didn’t we?”

“Zatte, do you want to talk about it?” Dr. Shunga asked.

Zatte took a deep breath and nodded.

*******

[6 February 234 Before Age.  Nat-Chezz II.]

Luffa’s star-yacht, the Emerald Eye, had been operating outside of Federation space for some time now, though no one knew why.  The Federation itself had been quite secure since Luffa had defeated the Shockmaster, and so the popular assumption was that she was seeking action and adventure in a more dangerous part of the galaxy.  In principle, this was correct, although the whole truth was that Luffa was trying to stay within a week’s travel from the Wrantool system, in order to keep appointments with her marriage counselor.

In between sessions, she kept an eye on subspace communications in the region, hoping to find something interesting to occupy her time, but the pickings would have been slim, even for a normal Saiyan.  So when the Nat-Chez system ceased all contact with the outside universe, Luffa was cautiously optimistic.  As the ship approached the planet, she waited in the cargo bay.  The ship would then enter the upper atmosphere, and she would open the bay door and launch herself headlong into the situation.

“ETA is ten minutes,” Zatte’s voice said through the earpiece communicator Luffa wore.  “You sure this is a good idea?  You might be flying into a plague for all we know.”

“I can sense the planet’s ki from here,” Luffa said.  “They don’t seem sick or anything like that.  Anyway, I’ll steer clear of populated areas until I’ve had a chance to look around.”

“If it’s a hostile, you’ll be giving up the element of surprise,” Zatte said.  “Right now, they don’t know you’re coming, but that’ll change in a hurry once you fire up.”

Luffa adjusted her boots and began doing some last minute stretches.  “And that’ll flush them out, won’t it, Zattie?  They’ve got the stealth game covered.  Which suits me fine.  I’m more of a shock and awe kind of lady anyway.”

“You’re not mad, are you?”

“About what?”

“Our last session with Dr. Shunga.  When we he asked how long it had been since we...”

“I remember.  I was there.”

“I thought you were gonna kill him on the spot.”

“I thought about it, yeah.  I did a number on his chair, sure.  But he’s trying to help us out.  He’s a good guy.    I just have to keep telling myself that.”

“I know it’s tough for you.”

“What’s ’tough’ is how you keep treating me like I’m made of glass,” Luffa muttered.  “Like I’ll shatter if you aren’t there to protect me from a few personal questions about our sex life.”

“You there Luffa?    I didn’t copy that.”

This was because Luffa  had taken the earpiece out and muffled its receiver in her hand.  Now that she had popped it back in, she replied: “Sorry, I was checking something out.  Anything new on the ship’s sensors?”

“Nothing.  No transmissions from the planet, and all air and spacecraft are grounded.  Plenty of life signs, though.”

“It’s gotta be an alien takeover,” Luffa said.  “I’ll have this wrapped up by dinnertime.  You want rolls or biscuits tonight?”

Zatte didn’t reply.

“Zattie?  You there?”

“Sorry.  I thought I had a blip on the sensors, but it was nothing.”

“Yeah, right.  I’ll just fix salad then.”

“Fine,” Zatte said.

“Okay,” Luffa said.

“Make whatever you want,” Zatte said.

“I will,” Luffa said.

“Are we fighting right now?” Zatte asked.

“I don’t know,” Luffa said.  “Look, are we over the drop point yet?  I’d like to get on with this.”

“Um, we passed it,” Zatte said after an awkward pause.  “I’ll have to turn the ship around and make another flyby.”

With a groan, Luffa sat down on the deck and covered her face with her hands.

*******

Once Luffa finally arrived on the surface, she encountered a few of the locals on a dirt trail that wound along a forest.  The Chezzi were humanoid in appearance, with various shades of orange and red skin, and horns atop their heads instead of hair.  It didn’t take long for her to figure out who had taken control of their planet.

“Spare us, Madame Saiyan!” one of them pleaded.  He dropped to his knees and clasped his hands together in supplication.    “Your humble servants only broke curfew because we need medicine in the next town.”

“He speaks the truth!” said another.  She was a Chezzi female, not much older than Luffa.  “My son has contracted horn-rot, and our village doctor lacks the horn-root needed to prepare a cure!    These two only came along because it was dangerous to travel alone on foot!  If you must take one of us into bondage, then let it be me!”

“No way, take me!” said a small boy.  “Choco’s my best pal, and I won’t go back an’ tell him I stood by an’ let his mom get nabbed by the Saiyans!”

“All right, everybody shut up,” Luffa said.  “I’m not here to enforce some dumb curfew.   I came here to liberate your planet.”

The old man was relieved.  “Then... you aren’t working with the Saiyans who conquered us?”

Luffa turned and spat on the ground.  “That’s what I think of your conquerors.  Tell me how to find them, and I’ll be happy to... discuss it with them.”

She began cracking her knuckles while the three villagers exchanged confused looks.  The old man opened his mouth to speak, but the woman quickly shushed him.

“Don’t!” she warned him.  “What if they sent her to test our loyalty?”

Before Luffa could reassure her, the boy spoke up.  “Aw, you worry too much, Tocco.  Besides, everybody already knows the Saiyans all live in Fort Luffa.”

Luffa was dumbfounded.  “Fort... what?”

*******

“Fort Luffa” was a Chezzi mansion originally owned by one of the richest men on the planet.  It had been located in a picturesque valley, before the Saiyans uprooted the entire building and carried it to a wasteland thousands of miles away.  The remoteness and inhospitable climate provided a natural defense against most would-be intruders, but Luffa was just at home in such a place as the mansion’s occupants.  While she had the power to destroy the lot of them from the air, she decided to take a more personal approach.    Landing just outside the mansion’s walls, she kicked in the front door and walked inside.

The first person she saw was a Saiyan man, tall and lean, with styling gel in his hair and on the fur of his tail.

“Well hello,” he cooed, raising an eyebrow as he looked Luffa over from head to toe.  “Zaperc didn’t tell me about any new recruit.  Maybe he afraid I’d sweep you off your feet, and leave you too distracted to listen to his— OOF!”

Luffa drove her fist into his abdomen, and when she pulled back her hand he collapsed into a whimpering heap.  She considered questioning him, but decided he wasn’t worth the effort.

The second obstacle she encountered was a woman, easily a foot taller than Luffa and with very well-defined musculature.  Luffa couldn’t help but admire the woman’s appearance--her biceps were almost as big around as Luffa’s calves--but this attraction was overshadowed by how sloppy her technique was.  Luffa had seized her in a hammerlock before the woman realized she was an intruder.  With a small fraction of her full power, Luffa drove the larger woman down to the floor, released the hold, and then sent a small charge of ki energy through her hand into the base of the woman’s skull, knocking her unconscious.

Minutes later, someone finally sounded an alarm, but Luffa had already forced one of them to take her to their leader.  A couple of other Saiyans tried to stop her, but she swatted them aside like flies, even while she kept her escort trapped in a headlock.

“Z-zaperc’s right through that door!” the young man gasped as he struggled in vain against Luffa’s grip.

“Good,” she said.  “After you.”

Before he could ask what she meant, she shifted her grip and tossed him through the door like a heap of trash.  Inside, Zaperc was dictating notes to a young Chezzi woman with a pad and paper.

“Eh?  Brockle?  What’s gotten into you, boy?  And who is this?”

Brockle tried to get to his feet, but Luffa kicked him before he could make it to his knees.  “An intruder, father!” he cried.  “I tried to stop her, but—“

“You’re the one in charge?” Luffa asked.  “You run a sloppy outfit, Zaperc.  Took them too long to sound an alarm, and you can’t even hear it from this room.”  She pointed her thumb at the Chezzi woman.  “Or was this girl your secret weapon to stop intruders?”

Unlike the man she met at the door, Zaperc looked Luffa over for purely tactical reasons.   He quickly decided that he was outmatched, and held out his hands in a submissive gesture.  “Er, welcome, sister!” he said.  “I don’t know what business you have with us, but I can tell from your immense power that you must be a student of Luffa’s just as we are.”

“Student?” Luffa asked.  “What are you babbling about?”

“Why, the Legendary Super Saiyan, of course.  Everything we’ve done here is an effort to put his teachings into practice.”

“Is that so?” Luffa scoffed.  “His teachings?   He told you to take over this planet?  You don’t know a damn thing about the Super Saiyan, old man.”

“And what do you know?” Zaperc demanded.  “Have a care, young one.  You may be strong, but I’ve studied Luffa’s career very carefully and—“

She threw her head back and transformed.  Her short, black hair suddenly glowed bright yellow, and her eyes turned green.  Around her body, her aura flashed and churned the air around her, causing the loose fabric of her yellow pants to ripple and flap.

Zaperc took all of this in, and after he looked her over one more time, he presented his reaction with a single word.

“Oh.”

[6 February 234 Before Age.  Rumrumyunsun.]

Okartish was dead.  Yarrow examined the corpse of his comrade to find out what had killed him, but there seemed to be no immediate answer.  He reached out with his senses, seeking an enemy life force strong enough to slay a Saiyan warrior, but found none.  Rumrumyunsun was a planet of weaklings, with nothing to offer the two Saiyans but a place to refuel their starship on their way to the brothels of Planet Be’er.  A warrior strong enough to kill Okartish would have stuck out like a sore thumb.

Yarrow helped himself to the unfinished meal Okartish had ordered, and stroked his thick beard in contemplation.  Perhaps this was for the best.  Okartish had his uses, but apparently he was even weaker than Yarrow had suspected.  He had come to his hotel room to renegotiate their splitting of the profits for their next raid.  Okartish wanted to keep things fifty-fifty, but this implied that Okartish did at least fifty percent of the pillaging, which he did not.

“Real shame, buddy,” Yarrow said aloud as he bent over to pat Okartish on the cheek.  “I was gonna be generous, offer to split things sixty-seven/thirty-three.  But I guess one hundred/zero is a lot easier all around, hey?  I never was much good at math.”

It bothered him to leave loose ends, but he saw no point in sticking around to find the killer.  Okartish had died without a fight, suggesting some sort of trickery, and Yarrow had no interest in playing with tricksters.  There was that so-called “Super Saiyan”, and rumor had it that he could have killed someone like Okartish with a flick of the wrist, but Yarrow didn’t put much stock in rumors.  Besides, the Super Saiyan was supposed to be in a completely different sector these days.  And if someone that strong really existed, Yarrow wanted no part of him.

So Yarrow took one last piece of meat from the room service tray, and headed for the door, turning his back on the closest thing he had ever had to a friend.  He planned to check out of the hotel immediately, return to his ship, and leave Rumrumyunsun as soon as possible.

But then he saw a woman emerging from the lavatory.  Yarrow wondered how she got in without him noticing.  He had neglected to turn on the lights when he had entered the room, but only because the street lamps outside provided enough illumination through the window.

Then he realized that he couldn’t sense any ki from the woman.

“Who the hell are you?” he demanded.  “And what did you do to him?”

She giggled and lolled her head to one side.   “I killed him, silly,” she said in a mocking voice.

“Why?”  Yarrow wasn’t sure why he was asking.  His best guess was that Okartish had made a powerful enemy somewhere along the way, and this woman was here to take revenge.  He wanted to know if that vendetta included Yarrow by association.

But the woman simply raised her arm and pointed at Yarrow accusingly.  “He was a Saiyan,” she said.  “That’s reason enough to kill him, isn’t it?  And reason enough to kill you.”

As soon as she said it, Yarrow went on the offensive.  With a single swipe of his hand, he tossed a ki blast at her chest, then grabbed her by the throat.  As the destructive energy ripped through her vital organs, he crushed her windpipe, then snapped her cervical vertebrae.  As he released her, the energy blast exited through her back and scorched the door to the hotel room.

And just like that, Okartish’s killer was dead before she hit the floor.

“Idiot,” Yarrow muttered.  He waited a moment, concerned that she had somehow survived his assault, and this was all some elaborate ruse she used to kill her victims.  But after fifteen minutes he decided that he was merely being paranoid.  If this woman really had killed Okartish, then she had been incredibly lucky, or he had been an exceptional fool.  They deserved one another.

And so Yarrow stepped over her corpse and left the room, never giving either of them another thought.

It would be his last mistake.

NEXT:  The Luffa Way.

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (102/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

Previous Chapters conveniently available here.

[30 January, 233 Before Age.   Planet Server’la.]

Over the next six weeks, Guwar had learned a great deal about his new partners, but very little about the object of their search.

Treekul, the only non-Saiyan in the group, was an alchemical historian.    She knew a few techniques for preparing mystical elixirs and so on, but her main focus of study was the lore.    Unlike the sciences of chemistry and biology, which made progress through rigorous documentation and peer review, alchemy was a secret discipline, with reclusive masters teaching on a select handful of students.   When they recorded their work at all, it was always done in an esoteric style.   Simple instructions were expressed as complex riddles.   Ingredients were given symbolic codenames which would be meaningless to the uninitiated.   Typically, an alchemical scroll promised much: immortality, mastery over living things, the power to transmute lead into gold.   But once you actually sat down and read them, they delivered very little: Vague sermons, arcane philosophical tracts, and references to other works which were conveniently unavailable.   Guwar had heard about this sort of thing, and always assumed it was an enormous bluff, no different from the way he would use the Saiyans' reputation to make himself seem more powerful than he actually was.  

And yet, Treekul seemed to be able to make sense of it all, at least to a certain extent.   She had shown him a few documents she had worked on in the past, and explained how she was able to filter the "important stuff" from the "crap", as she put it.  Part of the alchemical tradition was to deliberately add a lot of pointless fluff to one's writings, in order to disguise the true wisdom and to trick the unworthy into dismissing their sacred knowledge as nonsense.    "Once you've studied enough of their writings," she had told him, "you can start to decode it, and see what they were really talking about."

Treekul hailed from the Planet Clytemnestra, whose people had pale purple skin and dark green hair.   Treekul preferred to keep her own hair as short as possible, as she said it helped her focus on her research.    "Don't ask me why, but that extra quarter inch of growth on my head just makes me nuts," she had said one day while he saw her applying a trimmer to her scalp.   As a result, Guwar noticed that she tended to leave tiny green clippings behind everywhere she went.  

Endive, one of the Saiyans, was usually the one flying their ship.   She was a smuggler by trade, though she liked to find a good battle between jobs, much the same way that Guwar did when his mathematics skills weren't needed.   Like Guwar, she had been forced to scale back her recreational fighting ever since Luffa had begun cracking down on Saiyan activity.  

"I tried getting as far from Federation space as I could," she once told him.   "I found a nice little civil war on Rofos III.    They had mechs, triffles, and all sorts of interesting weapons.    I was in heaven... for all of two weeks, and then she showed up and ruined the whole thing.  That was when I made up my mind.    One way or another, I refuse to be pushed around again."

Endive never had much to say, but Guwar enjoyed hearing it, if only for the chance to admire her looks.   She had woven the end of her black hair in to a short, thick braid, which hung between her shoulder blades like a piece of halyard rope from a sailing ship.   The bridge of her nose was at a steep angle, which he found aesthetically pleasing, especially whenever she frowned.  Luckily for him, she frowned quite often, since the ship's navigation system wasn't quite up to her personal standards.    She and Treekul had recruited him into this group by tricking him into thinking he would get to sleep with one or both of them.   Watching Endive handle the controls of the ship, he often wished that there was a way to take her up on it.

As for Lesseri, he had dealt with her in the past, though he had always known her to be a ruthless, indomitable warrior.   For years he had envied her superior strength and financial success.   For example, the ship they now traveled in was hardly luxurious, but it was fast and well-armed, and comfortably quartered six people, which made it far nicer than the broken down one-seater Guwar had left behind on Paxul's Planet.   From afar, he had always thought Lesseri to be the model of what a Saiyan should be: a warrior who could go anywhere and do anything she pleased, because she had the might to enforce her own will.  

Now that he had lived with her for a while, and seen her ship from the inside, he realized they had more in common than either of them probably cared to admit.   Lesseri thought of herself as a weakling compared to other Saiyans, just as he saw himself.  This surprised Guwar at first, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made.    There was always a bigger fish in the pond.  He had always thought Lesseri retreated from untenable situations because she was so cold and calculating, but the truth was that she was afraid of dying, just like everyone else.   She was farther ahead of him in the search for greater power, but the gap between them was insignificant compared to how far they each had to go.    In spite of their past enmity, Guwar was beginning to like her.   When their quest led to searching a tomb on an abandoned planet, he was happy to join her.

"I killed my mother," Lesseri told him as she punched her way through the wall that surrounded the necropolis.  They had been talking about family, and this was where the conversation had led.  

"Why?" Guwar asked.

"You know those procedures where you can have your embryos removed from your womb and gestated outside of your body?"

"No, I had no idea you could do that," Guwar said.   He had no interest in procreation, and since he lacked a uterus, he cared very little what others did with theirs.

Lesseri shook her head.   "Men," she groaned.   "A lot of Saiyan women do it when they get pregnant.    Back when Planet Saiya was still up and running, they practically ordered people to do it."

"Okay," Guwar said.  "What about it?"

"My mother did it through a private company, only she never came back to get me when it was time.    Growing up, it kind of pissed me off.  My sister, she used to make excuses.   She thought mom must have died in battle, or she couldn't pay the bills or something.    When I got older, I tracked her down.   Wasn't even that hard.   She wasn't even trying to hide."

"Must have been a hell of a fight," Guwar said as he doubled checked their coordinates.    

"Nah, I checked her out first before I confronted her.   She was too close to me in power.   I might have won, but there was no guarantee, and I wanted a guarantee.   That was how we both ended up training with Luffa."

Guwar nearly dropped his scanning device.   "You trained with Luffa?" he asked.  

"If you can call it that," Lesseri said.   "Mostly it was Luffa and her alien wife scolding us like we were naughty children.   The leader of the group, guy named Zaperc, he tried to start this 'movement' where we'd learn to become Super Saiyans ourselves.   My mother joined on, and so did I.    Didn't want to risk her learning anything that might make her stronger and protect her from my revenge.    Anyway, Luffa found out about Zaperc's group and took over the whole thing.   Not that there was much to take over, but I guess she didn't like the idea of trash like us taking her name in vain.  Anyway, I waited until the right moment, then I rigged a bomb on my mother's ship.    As soon as things went pear-shaped, I knew she'd try to run for it, and sure enough--"

Lesseri clapped her hands together for effect.    "Boom.  Luffa didn't like it, but she didn't care much for my mother either, so she just sort of stood there while I left."

"What did your sister think?" Guwar asked.

"Beats me," Lesseri said.   "I haven't seen her in years.   She might be dead.    Hold on, I think this is it."

Near the center of the necropolis was a large mausoleum that looked like a great stone chrysalis.   There were small alien creatures clinging to its surface, and the glossy surface of their chitinous shells made the entire structure seem almost alive.

"Yeah, I think this is the one we want.   Let me take some readings before we smash our way in.   Wouldn't want to break anything important."

"So what happened after that?" Guwar asked.

"After what?" Lesseri replied.

"After you killed your mother," Guwar said.   "I've never gotten revenge for anything before.  I wondered what it was like."

"To be honest, it felt kind of empty," Lesseri said.  "I didn't regret it, but I'd spent my whole life on that one goal, and then it was over.    Mostly, it stuck in my craw that I wasn't strong enough to kill the old bag directly.   Luffa had no business giving me her opinion on it, but she was right.   It would have been more satisfying to fight her instead of blowing her up.    Mom didn't deserve the honor, but at least if I'd beaten her fairly, I would have had something to be proud of."

"I suppose so," Guwar said.

"That was when I started looking for ways to get stronger.   I've had enough of people pushing me around like I'm some bystander.    Being a Saiyan used to mean something, but lately it just feels like it makes you a patsy for King Rehval, or Luffa, or anyone else who happens to hit the genetic lottery.    I wanted to make my own opportunity."

"And that was how you met Treekul?" Guwar asked.

"Exactly," Lesseri said.    "I've heard rumors about Saiyans using a technique called 'Jindan' to increase their power.    I know we haven't told you much about it, Guwar, but that's only because we don't know much more than you do.   It's not easy finding a Saiyan these days, so if there's anything to the rumors, these jacked up Saiyans are staying out of sight."

"If that's true," Guwar reasoned, "then maybe this Jindan thing isn't all it's cracked up to be.   The Saiyans who use Jindan still have to hide from Luffa just like the rest of us."

"Could be," Lesseri said, "but it could also mean that they don't want the competition finding out about their secret.    If everyone could use it--whatever 'it' is--then we'd all be right back where we started.    And even if it doesn't make you as strong as a Super Saiyan, it could still be a big gain.   I don't know about you, but I'll take whatever I can get."

"I'm picking up some unusual readings," Guwar said.   "But nothing Saiyan."

Lesseri checked her own scanner and then compared her results to his.    "Yeah, Treekul was afraid of something like this.    We'll have to take a few precautions before we break into this thing.   Give me a hand, will you?"

*******

Thousands of years ago,  a brilliant scholar was interred in a mausoleum.   Over time, his students were buried nearby, and as the scholar's wisdom of the natural world grew into legend, a superstition arose that those who were buried near his tomb would pass on a blessing to their descendants.   Centuries passed, and the scholar came to be revered as a god, whose worshipers believed would one day rise from the dead and rule over the planet.   It was said that those buried in the necropolis that surrounded his tomb would be revived as his holy servants.

Before the planet's intelligent life forms vanished, their history included several wars fought over this sacred ground.    Conquerors thought that by controlling the necropolis, they could convince others of their supremacy.    New religions attempted to assimilate the necropolis's mythical status into their own theologies.   During more enlightened times, scientists would attempt to study the graves to learn the truth behind the legends.   But the scholar's mausoleum was never successfully breached, for when the ancient one was having it built, he planned to take his greatest secrets with him into the hereafter.    To ensure that graverobbers would not plunder his great writings, he treated the interior of his tomb with a concoction of his own making.   It would make the stone heal itself when broken.   In case this was not enough to dissuade intruders, he prepared a guardian, an unliving creature that would become active when fresh air entered the tomb.   Its creator had named it Qursss, and it drew strength from the very earth surrounding the mausoleum.   Once unleashed, it would not rest until it had destroyed all living things in the vicinity.   When its grisly task was finished, it would lumber back into the tomb, which would then reseal itself.  

And so, when the first breeze of fresh air entered the tomb in over fifteen centuries, Qursss stirred and reawakened to its strange un-life.   A blue flame ignited from a pile of ashes, and then it grew, transmuting into a vaguely humanoid form cast in minerals and the bones of its past victims.   Without hesitation, it rushed towards the source of the air current, and wailed its fearsome warning to any who could hear.  

"Woe betide you, graverobbers!   Know that you have summoned Qursss the Unquenchable, and for daring to defile my master's resting place, you must pay with your lives!"

It saw light from the fissure in the stone, and then the crack exploded into an opening large enough for a person to enter.  

"Yeah, I see it now," Guwar said as he peeked inside to look at Qursss.    "We'd better lure the thing outside before we proceed."

Qursss roared as it chased after Guwar.    "Mortal fool!" it shouted.  "You have sealed your doom this day!   Qursss shall pursue you to the ends of the--"

It paused at the threshhold of the hole in the mausoleum.  Guwar stood just outside, waiting patiently for Qursss to follow him.    The only thing missing from this scene was the ground.  Guwar was standing in midair.    

"Looks like you were right," Guwar said.    "This creature's immortal, but it doesn't seem to be able to fly."

Beneath them, Qursss could hear a second intruder, and its primitive intellect slowly realized that she was carrying the entire mausoleum in her arms.     "Aw, well, if he’s too shy to step outside," Lesseri said, "I guess I'll have to give him some encouragement!"

The whole structure began to shake, and Qursss lost its balance.   Unable to react in time, it tumbled forward, and as it fell, it realized that it was thousands of feet in the air.  

It wanted to threaten its enemies, to warn them that such trickery would avail them nothing, since Qursss would follow them and destroy them for as long as it took to restore its master's tomb.    But it had already noticed the ocean below, and Qursss knew that its master had designed it to sleep in the absence of fresh air.    No, there could be no reprisal.  Qursss would sink like a stone once it hit the water, and Qursss would fall dormant for a very long time.   Perhaps one day, when the oceans themselves boiled away, Qursss would stir once more, but that would not be for a very long time.   There was absolutely nothing it could do.    The enemy had won.    

Its final thought, as its monstrous body shattered upon the water's surface, was to wonder why its master had never thought to give it wings.

*******

[31 January, 233 Before Age.    Interstellar Space.]

"What I don't understand," Guwar asked Treekul, "is how you found that planet in the first place.    It was uncharted, and it looked like no one had been there in centuries."

"Geomantic extrapolation," Treekul replied as she ran her finger over the text of the parchment the Saiyans had removed from the mausoleum.    "You're sure this was the only scroll you found in the tomb, right?"

"Positive," Guwar said.    "What was that you said a second ago?"

She sat up from her bunk and finally looked at him.   "Geomancy," she said.   "In my line of work, you can't rely on the people who write these things to actually help you by citing sources.    Sometimes you have to use other methods to connect the dots.    That planet you and Lesseri went to, I don't know what it's called, or the name of the guy who wrote this scroll, but it's written in the same language as the last four scrolls I studied, and uses symbols and notations he would have learned from an older master known as 'Server'.   Not his real name, by the way.  None of these guys ever used their real name."

"You... you really haven't answered my question," Guwar said.  

She pointed to a disc-shaped object hanging from the opposite wall of her cabin.    It appeared to be made of wood, and hundreds of tiny characters and sigils were written upon its surface.   "That's a geomantic compass," she said.    "Normally you use it for aligning ki energies with planetary fields, but a specialist can use it to locate objects bound by special connections.   Server's other disciples had most of the information I needed, but not all of it, so I calibrated my compass with information from the scrolls I had, and used that to point me in the general direction of the one that I didn't.   It's taken a lot of course corrections to narrow it down, but considering how long the planet's been lost, I think ten days was a pretty decent turnaround."

Guwar was beginning to understand how some of his clients felt whenever he explained the more complicated aspects of probability theory.   "Look," he said, "I just want to understand how this gets us any closer to Jindan.   Does that scroll mention it?   Does that mean it was invented thousands of years ago?"

"No, of course not," Treekul said.    "You have to understand how this works, Guwar.    All we really know about Jindan-- and I'm using the word 'know' very loosely-- is that it makes Saiyans stronger somehow, and it just happens to share the name of one of the terms used for the golden elixir, a central concept of alchemical thought.    Until we find out more, our best chance is to dig through old writings, and hopefully find scrolls and records that were used to invent this particular Jindan.    We do that, and we'll have something resembling a lead to what you three are after."

He made a long sigh when he heard this.   "It all sounds pretty hopeless," he said.  

She smiled and lay back down on her bunk.   "Trust me, Guwar, I've been digging up old secrets my whole career.   If there's something to be found, I'll find it.    It just takes time.  And the occasional defiling of an ancient burial ground, but you and Lesseri didn't seem to have much trouble with that at all.   Even if it takes us a year to hit paydirt, wouldn't you say it was worth it?"

Guwar supposed he couldn't argue with that.   "I guess I'll leave you to your work then," he said as he rose from her chair and headed for the door.   "I could use something to eat anyway."

"Hey, drop by anytime," she said.  "It's good to bounce ideas off of you.   Oh, could you toss me my trimmer before you go?   My scalp's getting a little itchy."

*******

[9 February, 233 Before Age.   Thalos I.]

Days later, with nowhere in particular to go, the Saiyans decided to land on a planet to indulge in some hunting and gathering.    Guwar preferred gathering, as it made more sense from an efficiency standpoint.   The ship's sensors could tell him where to go to find abundant supplies of edible plants, and he could collect those much more quickly than he could chase down a comparable mass of wild animals.   Most Saiyans didn't look at it that way, and so when Lesseri and Endive chose to hunt large reptiles on the western continent, he wasn't surprised.

What did surprise him was when Endive approached him later, while he was bundling his first batch of roots and berries for the cargo hold.   They weren't supposed to meet up for another hour.

"I thought you were hunting," he said.  

"I decided to see if you needed any help," she said.    "Lesseri has things well in hand."

"She usually does," Guwar said.   "But I think I've covered my end pretty well."

"What do you think of our little band so far, Guwar?" she asked.    

He finished weaving a simple rope and began wrapping it around a stack of starchy plants he had found in a marsh.    "I'm used to working alone," he said, "but so far I'm impressed with the operation.   All of you are professional, sensible.   Treekul's a bit flaky, but she's an alien, so I won't hold it against her."

"Have you considered what will happen when we succeed, Guwar?" Endive asked.    She took a seat on one of the cargo crates and put her palms on her knees.  

"We'll all get stronger," he said.  "Much stronger, with any luck.   I, for one, plan to be able to write my own ticket."

"And what about Lesseri?" she asked.   "She's stronger than both of us right now.   It stands to reason that if our quest succeeds, she stands to become even stronger still."

"That makes sense to me," Guwar said slowly.   "What's your point, Endive?"

"Merely that we should be considering our own separate interests at this stage of the partnership," she replied.   "Our working theory is that there are already Saiyans out there using Jindan in secret.   They will not be pleased to see three more added to their number.   For every Saiyan that learns the secret, it depreciates in value."

"And if we were talking about treasure," Guwar surmised, "sooner or later we'd have to decide if it would be better to split it two ways instead of three."

"I see this as no different, Guwar," Endive said.    "The other Saiyans may try to stop us from reaching our goal.   But they may find two Saiyans easier to accept into their domain than three.   And if they happen to be fairly weak Saiyans--like you and me-- well, we'd hardly be much of a threat to their plans, now would we?"

"What exactly are you suggesting, Endive?" he asked.   He tried to keep his tone neutral, hoping not to tip his hand.   At the moment, he saw no compelling reason to turn against Lesseri, but he didn't want to appear to reject the idea, just in case she was on to something.

"For the moment, nothing at all," she said briskly.   "I simply wanted to share my appraisal of the situation.   When the time comes to make a decision, there may not be a chance to confer privately, Guwar.  So I thought we should discuss certain... contingencies in advance."

He was about to ask her what contingencies she had in mind, when the communicators on their wrists began to chirp.   It was Treekul.  She had found something.

*******

The closest thing Lesseri's ship had to a meeting area was the mess hall situated between the cabins and the cockpit.  Treekul presented her findings on a small display screen normally used for entertainment purposes.  Guwar found her delivery surprisingly polished and scholarly, considering that she was giving it in her pajamas, which bore flecks of green hair clippings from the last three times she trimmed her scalp.  

"I know a lot of what I just said went over your heads," she said as she finished explaining how she arrived at her conclusions.   "I just want to give you a bird's eye view of what I've done, so you won't think this I just pulled all of this out of my ear.  

"We've trusted you this far, Treekul," Lesseri said.   "And I think we get the general idea."

Lesseri had put her feet up on the table and crossed her ankles.   Endive was busy eating some raw meat from her hunting, while Guwar sat on the table itself.   He had some question about Treekul's data, but he decided to save them for when he could speak with her in private.   He suspected that the others would do the same.  

"All right, then here's the bottom line," Treekul said as she tapped the screen to advance to the next image.   The good news is that my theory was correct, and we've been on the right track.    We've established a line of spagyrist masters who studied techniques for increasing physical attributes.  We're talking about simple stuff, like healing minor injuries, or improving concentration, but each record we've found states that the masters were looking ahead to a refinement of the research.   A 'golden elixir', or a perfection of what they had begun to explore.  They called that ideal experiment 'jindan', which means whoever invented what we're looking for must have based his research upon their earlier work."

"But the scroll we just found was never used by anyone," Lesseri said.   "That tomb hadn't been touched in centuries, and the wax seal on the scroll itself was unbroken."

"Right, but it did give me more information to plug into my calculations," Treekul said.    That means my geomantic measurements will be more precise from here on out, and there's a lot less guesswork about where to look next."  She tapped the star chart on the monitor, causing it to zoom in on a single star system.   "Turns out we'll have to go to the Quadzityz System after all," she said.

"That whole sector is a war zone," Endive said.  

"Fine by me," Lesseri said with a smile.   "With all the fighting, we can slip in, take what we need, and no one will notice we were there.   We might even score some plunder if we have time."

"Yes, that does sound quite pleasant," Endive replied,  "but that isn't my point.  A stray bombardment could destroy our objective before we even have a chance to reach it."

"Not to mention the mercenaries working that sector," Guwar added.   "Saiyans or not, some of them are bound to be stronger than us.    If we're not careful, we could find ourselves outmatched.   Then we'd be the ones getting plundered."

"It's worse than you think," Treekul said.    "I monitored the war reports from that sector, just to get some idea of what we'd be getting into.    Turns out the fighting has escalated even more than we knew.   Someone brought slorgs into the conflict."

"Slorgs!" Endive said with a gasp.    "Then it's only a matter of time before Luffa gets involved!  She'd never tolerate a slorg infestation anywhere near the Federation border."

"And that brings me to the 'Bad News' part of my presentation," Treekul said with a sigh.   She tapped the screen one more time, bringing up an image from a news periodical.   The photo accompanying the article showed a Saiyan with glowing yellow hair and tail, holding a Quadzity armored troop transport over her head.    Terrified soldiers were fleeing from her as she smashed the vehicle into a large boulder.

"Luffa's not just going to get involved on Quadziityz," Treekul said.    "She's already there."

NEXT: The War Against War

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (73/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

Previous chapters conveniently available here.

[1 March 234 Before Age.  Nat-Chezz II.]

Floating over a mountain range, Vigurd was busy sparring with her teammate and fellow Saiyan, Bodi.  None of the them liked Bodi very much.   He was asinine.   He spent far too much time trying to sound impressive or clever, and far too little time noticing that it wasn't working.   He also flirted with every humanoid woman within the sound of his voice.  No one liked his cheesy lines, least of all his own people, who found such blatant romantic overtures to be unseemly.  

Nevertheless, Vigurd found him to be a worthwhile sparring partner, if only because his power level was roughly the same as hers.  He hit on her just as persistently as any other woman, but she was willing to put up with it for the workout.   Besides, she had been putting up with a lot since she joined Zaperc's gang.  

Like Bodi and the others, she had joined Zaperc because he promised them a path to achieve greater power.   He claimed to be studying the Super Saiyan who had mysteriously emerged a few years ago, and he believed that he would eventually discover how to become one himself.   Vigurd was skeptical, but she ultimately decided that Zaperc might one day succeed, and she wanted to be there when he did.  

But she soon learned that Zaperc's followers only had the one goal in common.   As loathsome as Bodi was, the rest of the team hated each other almost as much.  Zaperc's son Brockle was a spoiled brat, Hijik was a misogynist, Lesseri was an opportunistic coward, and Jikama was a half-Chezzi wimp.  Indeed, part of the reason Vigurd enjoyed sparring with Bodi was that it gave her an excuse to avoid the others.  At least she could tune out his pathetic pickup lines while they fought.  

Even so, Luffa had turned out to be the worst of all.  Following Zaperc had been annoying enough, but it turned out that he knew even less about the Super Saiyan than he had realized.   Vigurd was amused at first to learn that the Super Saiyan was a woman who mocked everything Zaperc had been trying to do, but then Luffa assumed command of their team, and began a training regimen of equal parts humiliation and self-righteous preaching.

It didn't take long for Vigurd to figure out that Luffa was a hick.  Oh, her adventures had taken her to a few dozen planets, but the girl still clung to whatever backward morality her mother had probably taught her as a child.   Everything Luffa said was about honor and pride, as if either of those things mattered in a universe that was constantly trying to kill you.   But the most outdated nonsense Luffa spouted was her condemnation of Vigurd's use of artificial gestation facilities.  

A lot of expat Saiyans still bought into the old traditions like that.   Saiyan mothers were expected to regard pregnancy as their offspring's first battle in life.  They were supposed to set aside their own battles to ensure the birth and upbringing of their children.  They were supposed to pass down the old stories, which always seemed to be about Saiyan men getting too much credit for a lot of stuff that probably never happened in the first place.   Vigurd's own mother had taught her the same things, although she hardly expected Vigurd to believe any of it.  

And so, when Vigurd was Luffa's age, she became pregnant and refused to let it get in the way of her career.  The babies were brought to term, raised by caretakers, and left to fend for themselves.   It was survival of the fittest, after all.   If her sons couldn't find the strength to manage in the real world, then there was never anything Vigurd could have done for them anyway.  

For all of Luffa's might, she lacked the simple understanding that it was kill-or-be-killed.  Mercy, even for one's own offspring, was an opening for your enemies to exploit.   Maybe a Super Saiyan could afford to be weak, but Vigurd couldn't, and that was what Luffa didn't understand.  Luffa had somehow unlocked tremendous power within herself, but it was in spite of her old-fashioned values, and not because of them.   And now that Luffa had become this almighty creature, she was going to ram her morality down everyone else's throat.  

Vigurd thought about leaving the group, but just as she began to consider leaving, Luffa left the planet on some vacation outing with her alien wife.   That was the real hypocrisy of the whole thing.   Luffa expected women like Vigurd to be happy homemakers, while Luffa herself struggled to maintain a crumbling marriage to an alien floozy.  

"What are they even doing on Tingi V?" she asked aloud, as Bodi narrowly dodged one of her kicks.

 "Ah, who can say?" Bodi mused.  He knit his brow and stroked his chin thoughtfully.  A knowing smile grew on his face as he said: "But I know they wouldn't have as much fun as we would, my little cherub.   Suppose we--"

Vigurd caught him with an energy blast to his groin.   She didn't like to hit below the belt, especially in a training match, but he had left himself wide open, and besides, it was only Bodi.   She crossed her arms and watched as he tumbled to the mountains below.  

"Well, I hope she loosens up by the time she gets back," Vigurd said to herself.   "Otherwise, I'm bugging out for good."

*******

[1 March 234 Before Age.    Tingi V.]

The ground floor of the resort was a casino, and from early afternoon to late at night it was abuzz with patrons looking to spend their money on gaudily decorated games of chance.  Their excited chatter combined with the buzzes and bells of the electronic devices to produce a strangely soothing ambiance.

At one of the card tables a dealer was shuffling a pair of decks for three players.  One of them was a Saiyan in a red dress with a wig of long brown hair.  

"Well, at least I'm getting a handle on the rules," Luffa said to the dealer as she looked over her cards.  

"You can always try a lower stakes table, ma'am," he offered helpfully.  

"Nah, this is fine," Luffa said.  "I can afford to lose a few more times.  Keeps me motivated."

Luffa main problem was inexperience, but she never let that stop her before.  She had hoped to compensate with psychological warfare.  The real reason she stuck to this dealer was because he kept staring down the plunging neckline of her dress.  It wasn't an advantage she was used to using, but Luffa wasn't used to wearing wigs either.  This was because she wasn't supposed to be Luffa tonight.   It didn't make any sense but she had given up trying to figure it out.  

"Mind if I sit down?"

Luffa glanced up to see her wife standing beside her, only it wasn't her wife, even though she didn't look all that different from usual.  She had blue skin and short red hair in a bob style.  Her left eye shone a brilliant green and her right was covered with a black patch.  Her dress matched the eyepatch, though its sequins reflected the multi-colored lights of the casino.  The purse in her hand probably contained at least one weapon that she had managed to smuggle past security.  Luffa knew it was Zatte long before she approached the table.  Indeed, she had been waiting for her to show up all night long, but now she had to pretend that they didn’t know each other.  

"Suit yourself," Luffa said, gesturing to the adjacent seat.  "Your friend can tag along too if he wants, but I'm afraid I'm not much fun to watch."

"My friend?" Zatte asked.  

Luffa pointed her thumb over her shoulder as she laid down her cards to fold.  "That tall guy with the green hair," she said.  "You two looked like you were getting along pretty well."

"Oh him," Zatte said.  "Never saw him before tonight.  We were just playing the roto-wheel for a while, but I got bored and decided to move on."

"Too bad for him," Luffa said.  "You made a cute couple."

Zatte flagged down a server and ordered a drink.  "So you've been watching me?" she asked.  

"Maybe," Luffa said.  Of course she had been watching Zatte.  That had been the whole point, but they were supposed to pretend they didn't know each other.  Everything had to be a game with Zatte.  Luffa didn't mind that most of the time, but she preferred it when she knew how to play.

"I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Saiyan in a casino before," Zatte said.  

"That's because we're all terrible gamblers," Luffa said.  "If I need money, I just fight for it, or take it."

"But you're different?" Zatte asked.  

Luffa shrugged.  "I'm between assignments.  Figured this was as good a place as any to spend some downtime.  I like the atmosphere, and I can afford to practice a little.   Only trouble is my strategy isn't working like I thought it would."

"What's the problem?" Zatte asked.  

Luffa examined her next hand of cards and shook her head.  "Besides the fact that I suck at card games, I've been trying to watch this guy's mannerisms.  Saiyans are good at that sort of thing.  Helps you anticipate your opponent's next move.  Read his mood, things like that.   The thing is, he just works here.  If he was playing with his own money, maybe I'd have an edge, only he doesn't care if he wins or loses."

"That's clever," Zatte said.  "I wouldn't have thought of that."

"Well, it's only clever if it actually works," Luffa muttered.  She laid her cards down and folded again.  

"It seems to me like you've got a solution in search of a problem," Zatte suggested.  "You just need to play against someone with something on the line."

She reached into her purse and produced a hotel key, which she slid across the table to Luffa.  "I'm hosting a private game in my room later tonight.  Maybe you can try out your strategy there."

"You sure you want a Saiyan at your little party?" Luffa asked.  "We have a certain... reputation."

Zatte sipped her drink and smirked.  "You seem to know how to behave yourself," she said.  

"That only makes me more dangerous, doesn't it?"

"I'm willing to take that chance.  I like a little danger."

"Is that the sort of line you used on that green-haired man?" Luffa asked.

"Why worry about him?" Zatte asked.  

"I just feel bad for him, I suppose," Luffa said.  "He and I have something in common."

"What's that?"

Luffa looked at her next hand and snorted.   "We have the same taste in women."

"I can invite him instead of you," Zatte suggested.  "If it'd make you feel better."

"If you want to play it safe," Luffa said.  "Your other guests would probably appreciate it."

"There are no other guests," Zatte said.  "It's a very small get-together."  

"Not much of a pot that way."

Zatte finished her drink, then stood up to leave.   "Drop by when you're finished here.  If the stakes aren't high enough for you, I'm sure I can find some other way to keep you entertained."

Luffa watched her leave and noticed a certain swagger to her walk that hadn't been there before.  She turned back to the table, and noticed the dealer was now staring at the hotel key instead of Luffa's chest.  

She ignored it and continued playing, losing several more hands and a small fortune in credits.  

*******

When Luffa finally arrived at the room, she didn’t bother using Zatte’s key, since she already had one of her own.  She found her wife wearing one of the terry bathrobes that came with the room.  There was a bottle of wine on the table with two glasses, but at the moment she was too busy triple-checking their luggage to notice Luffa’s entrance.  

When she finally spotted Luffa, she blurted out “Oh, hi!” then snapped back into character and tried to lean seductively against the wall.  “I mean, hello,” she said as she tugged open the  shawl collar of her robe to make it more revealing.  “You didn’t knock, but then you don’t strike me as someone who favors a direct approach.”

Luffa had already taken off her wig and tossed it on the bed.  “Wait, are we still going?” she asked.  “I thought we were done.”

Zatte broke character again.  “Did you want to stop?” she asked.  

“I thought the idea was to pretend to be strangers around other people,” Luffa said.  “We’re alone up here, so I figured we were done.”

“Well, I thought we’d play a few hands to set the mood,” Zatte said.  

“Hold on, you actually wanted to play cards?” Luffa asked.  “I thought that was just a pretext to get me into your room.”

“Well, I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” Zatte said.  “It was going to be, you know, sexy cards.”

Luffa sat on the bed and took off her shoes.  “I’ll do whatever you want, Zattie, but let me do it barefoot for a while, at least.”

“You were great down there, Luffa,” she said enthusiastically.  “There were times I could almost believe you were someone else.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” she said, “because I honestly have no idea what I’m doing half the time.”

“It’s therapy,” Zatte said.  “Dr. Shunga said we needed to spend some quality time together.  Work on communicating without telepathy.”

“Fine, but he never said anything about all this role-playing nonsense,” Luffa groused.  “What’s the point of acting like we’re other people?”

Zatte went back to inspecting their luggage.  “Because we do it all the time anyway,” she said.  “You’re a celebrity, so you have to wear wigs or cover your tail to keep a low profile, and I don’t want people to find out I’m a Dorlun.  And it’s kind of fun sharing a secret with you.  I guess I just like adding more secrets on top of that, especially for frivolous reasons.”  

“If you say so,” Luffa said.  

“I think you’d get more into the spirit of things if you would play a different species,” Zatte said.  “Like a felinoid  mining executive.”

“What the hell do I know about mining?” Luffa asked.  

“As much as I do, so what’s the difference?” Zatte said.  “We’re just pretending, so you can make stuff up.”

“All right, I’ll give it a shot,” Luffa said, “but I still don’t understand.”

“It’s about being more than yourself, Luffa,” Zatte tried to explain.  “I feel a little weird too, but playing a character helps me loosen up.   This way you get to be seduced by an exotic Avoirdupoian socialite instead of watching a Dorlun you already know fretting over how many clean socks you have left.”

“I like it when you triple-check the luggage,” Luffa said.  

Zatte stared at her.   “No, you think it’s dumb.”

“I never said that,” Luffa insisted.  

“You thought it,” Zatte pressed.  “I’m going to keep doing it anyway, but you don’t have to patronize me.”

“I’m not--!” Luffa stopped herself before her voice grew any louder.   “We’re doing it again,” she said after a deep breath.  “We’re taking something we picked up from each other’s minds and blowing it out of proportion.”

Zatte rolled her good eye.  “You say that every time you get caught in a lie, Luffa.  ‘Oh, we shouldn’t argue.   Remember what Dr. Shunga said.’”

“Bull,” Luffa muttered.  “You were the one who wanted to start seeing him, and he takes your side the whole time.”

“My side?!  Oh that’s rich.  Then why does he always blame me every time we link our minds together, even though it’s your power?”

Luffa set her jaw.   “Probably because you’re always cajoling me into using it,” she said through her teeth.  “I half-suspect you only do this role-play nonsense to confuse me so much that I’ll read your mind to understand it better.  And then you’ll just catch some stray thought about me not liking your butt or something, and I’ll catch hell for that!  I can’t win.”

“All you care about is winning!” Zatte said.   “You only ever-- Wait, what’s wrong with my butt?”

“It’s got a big crack in it,” Luffa snorted.   She took a moment to revel in her brilliant joke, but then she saw Zatte backing towards a mirror above the dresser.  “There’s nothing wrong with your butt, Zattie!” Luffa shouted.  

Only there was something wrong with it.  Whatever the flaw, even if it was too insignificant to describe, it still existed in Luffa’s mind, whether she consciously admitted it or not.  Nothing in life ever quite lined up to one’s imagined ideals.  For most couples, this was a matter of accepting one another as they were, not in spite of their imperfections, but because of them.  

The problem, Luffa knew, was that they had grown over-reliant on using telepathy to share their most intimate feelings.  It was just an easier way to communicate, one that bypassed the cultural barrier between them.  When they joined minds, Luffa’s pride dissolved into mist, and Zatte’s insecurities faded into the background, leaving nothing to get in the way of their mutual affection.  But this also exposed them to less pleasant feelings: petty resentments and half-formed thoughts that didn’t even make sense most of the time.  

True telepaths learned to filter out these intrusive thoughts, or to accept them as irrelevancies in the greater truths of the mind, but Luffa’s mental abilities were something she had stumbled upon mostly by accident.   She had found ways to develop them for combat purposes, but she lacked precision and control.  It was easy to mentally interrogate an enemy, or to communicate with an ally, but she found that she typically took more away than the information she sought.  

Dr. Shunga had asked them to cease their telepathic activities, and while this had helped, it also left them to deal with the resentments that  they had already created during past rapports.   Only now they had to deal with it across the cultural and emotional gulfs they were used to bypassing.   Literally anything could spark an argument.  This time it was Zatte triple-checking the luggage.  Six weeks ago it was Luffa’s ears.   There had been a month where they had stopped speaking to one another over a matter involving dental floss.    

The counseling sessions had helped, but-- as Dr. Shunga often reminded them--it was their marriage, and they would have to be the ones to put in the real work to save it.    By Luffa’s way of thinking, the true sign of improvement was that the arguments were getting shorter and easier to resolve, and the honest communication that followed was growing more productive.  

There were times, however, when Luffa missed Kandai, her husband from her first marriage.  It was another stray thought she hoped Zatte wouldn’t come across, but in spite of Kandai’s treachery, at least he had been a fellow Saiyan.  Marital bickering was considered a healthy part of Saiyan matrimony, since both parties understood that it couldn’t be taken too seriously.   When they were truly fighting, they did it literally, with fists, and the difference in their power levels had made this very rare.   At least then, Luffa had felt like she knew where she stood. 

Zatte was different.  She would joke around one minute and then make a cutting remark that hurt more than Kandai’s strongest blow.   Dorluns didn’t fight their spouses physically; they used words to hurt one another, and Luffa had found Zatte to be especially deadly in this regard.   There were times when Zatte almost seemed disappointed that Luffa couldn’t keep up with her taunts and jibes.  

Still, they were making progress.  They each weathered the storm, and eventually the apologies came like rays of sunshine, and slowly but surely they began to make up.  

“I respect your triple-checking the luggage,” Luffa clarified.   It seemed easier to find the right words when she was holding Zatte in her arms two hours later.    “It may be unnecessary, but you don’t do it because you need to.  It’s a discipline, and discipline is important to me.”

“I wish you would have put it that way before,” Zatte said as she kissed her on the cheek.  

“I... I just never had to put it into words before,” Luffa said.  

“The thing is,” Zatte said, “Keda managed to stow away in my carryall when we went to Extraliga.  She said I didn’t catch her because I only double-checked it that day.”

“Oh...”

Tears were welling up in her good eye.  “I know we agreed not to blame ourselves for what happened, but... I can’t help thinking she might still be alive if I hadn’t gotten sidetracked--”

Luffa held her close and mimicked a shushing sound Zatte often used to console Luffa when she was the one who needed it.     As she did this, she began to speculate, and then she remembered something Dr. Shunga had said in a session.   So instead of guessing what Zatte was thinking, she voiced her guess aloud, to see if it was correct.  

“I think I see now why you wanted us to pretend to be strangers downstairs,” Luffa said.  “Not so I’d get so confused that I’d have to read your mind to understand, but so that we could have a fresh start.  Set aside our problems for a while.”

Zatte smiled.  “You finally got it, you lunkhead.”

Luffa chuckled.   “Well then, how about we try something tomorrow...”

NEXT: Performance Review.

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (74/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

Previous chapters conveniently available here.

[2 March 234 Before Age.  Tingi V]

There was a conference room on the second floor of the resort, which the building's architects had included more out of habit than necessity.    On the off-chance that a high-powered executive wanted to hold an important meeting in a noisy and hedonistic pleasure palace, there was a place ready and waiting for just such a purpose, with room for at least a dozen humanoids.  

Zatte was walking around the table, admiring the tantalum-plating on the trimmed edges, when Luffa entered the room.  She was two minutes early.  

"Dr. Yokan, welcome to Tingis V," Zatte said with a professional nod.  She crossed the table to shake Luffa's hand.   Both women were dressed in whatever business attire they had been able to find the night before  The coat of Luffa's pantsuit was a little big on her shoulders, but it wasn't like she planned to wear it often.  

"A pleasure, Ms. Dracham," Luffa said in an even tone.  

"I must admit, it is strange to see you like this," Zatte began.  "You seem to be adjusting well to your... transplant."

Luffa snorted.  "Compared to my original body, anything would be an improvement," she said.  "I've always found Saiyans to be very useful.  This one makes a most effective vessel."

"And quite attractive, if I may say so," Zatte added.   "If you need money to fund your experiments, Doctor, you could always give up mercenary work to pursue exotic dancing."

"I'd prefer to get to business," Luffa said coldly.  

"Of course,"  Zatte said as she sat on the edge of the table.  "I've been reviewing the profiles you sent me for your team.   I'd like to discuss them before we begin negotiations."

Their roles were fictional, but the 'business' was real enough.  In reality, Luffa and Zatte had spent the last month training a band of Saiyans who had been trying to follow in Luffa's footsteps.  Until recently, none of them had ever met Luffa, and their leader, Zaperc, had based most of his teachings off of a self-help book that had been marketed as an unauthorized biography of Luffa.   The book was wildly inaccurate, and Luffa had been so disgusted with their practices that she resolved to straighten them out herself.  Zatte was happy to help, since she considered herself to be a disciple of Luffa's in a manner of speaking, and she was hopeful that she and Zaperc's group could connect over this.  

The trip to Tingis V seemed like a good opportunity to review the Saiyans' progress, and so they had planned to discuss it over dinner, until Luffa suggested this scenario instead.  "Dr. Yokan" was a compromise.   Luffa was uneasy playing non-Saiyan roles, so Zatte suggested an alien whose brain inhabited a Saiyan's body.  

"Let me be clear," Luffa said.  "I won't be joining these Saiyans in the field.   Zaperc will be in command of the mission."

"He's certainly experienced enough," Zatte said as she shuffled a stack of papers.   "And I admire his idealism.   It's good for employees to have their own motivation."

Luffa sat in one of the chairs and crossed her arms.  "He's fixated on the Super Saiyan legend," she said.  "He knows how to inspire the others and keep them working together, but he relies to much on what he's read in books.  And he favors his son over the others, which could be a problem."

"Then let's talk about the son," Zatte said.  "Brockle's the strongest, yes?   And very resourceful.   He's shown a lot of improvement over the past month.   Your pet Dorlun speaks very highly of him in her reports."

"She's too charitable," Luffa muttered.   "Brockle's strong, but unprincipled.  He doesn't care about anything but himself, which means he doesn't care if he wins or loses."

"There's nothing wrong with a healthy sense of self-preservation, is there?" Zatte asked.  

"Not at all," Luffa said, "but too much self-interest can lead to problems in the mercenary business.   Brockle has to be willing to take other people's problems as his own.   He wants your money, Ms. Dracham, but he doesn't want to be responsible for your interests.   I'm trying to break him of that."

"I see," Zatte said.   "Let's move on to Bodi then."

"He has promise," Luffa admitted.   "His constant flirting is a problem, but only if you happen to be in the same room with him.  I didn't know a Saiyan could be so shameless until I met him."

"Agreed," Zatte said.  "He's conscientious in a quiet sort of way, but not exceptional.  He keeps their base clean, and gets along well with the others.   I wouldn't put him in charge, but he seems to have become a good team player.  Which is more than I can say for Hijik..."

Luffa looked up at the ceiling in frustration.  "Hijik," she groaned.  

"His attitude has improved over the past month," Zatte offered.  

"I'll be blunt, Ms. Dracham," Luffa said, "Hijik's contempt for women is typical for the Saiyan race.  What's really astonishing is the way he tries to turn his insecurities into some sort of hare-brained political manifesto."

"Some would say that a soldier's opinions don't matter," Zatte suggested.  "As long as he gets the job done, he can hold whatever toxic worldview he pleases."

"A sick mind infects the entire body, sooner or later," Luffa replied.  "He blames women for all his problems, because it's easier than confronting his own weaknesses.  If he was actually stronger than all women, he'd just find some other thing to blame.  As it is, he can't beat me, so he makes excuses.   The only thing he ever respected was the Super Saiyan, but only when he believed the Super Saiyan was a man who would have been just like him.  He refuses to learn anything that contradicts what he already thinks.   Prove him wrong, and he just gets resentful about it."  

"But he has shown you greater respect recently,"  Zatte observed.  "He even defers to the Dorlun now."

"Only out of fear," Luffa grumbled.  "A dog can learn that much.   You want soldiers defending your holdings.   I'm not sure Hijik qualifies as one."

"You think he'd fold at the first sign of adversity?"  

Luffa nodded.  "He's the worst kind of loser, the type who embraces defeat and tries to justify it with a lot of philosophical rambling.  In a pinch, he'd abandon your cause, Ms. Dracham.  Then he'd claim that you had set him up to fail, and that he was right to lose the battle because you were trying to emasculate him somehow."

"All right," Zatte said.  "Let's move on to the women.   Lesseri seems to be the most professional of the team.  She reminds me of another Saiyan mercenary I knew once."

Luffa raised an eyebrow at this.   "I'm not sure your friend would take that as a compliment," she said with a harrumph.  "Lesseri's disciplined enough.  She knows her way around military hardware.   Not as strong as Brockle, but she makes up for it in common sense."

"You're right," Zatte said with a smirk.  "Those are terrible qualities.  I should apologize to my friend the next time I see her."

"My point is that she lacks the passion to drive those qualities to their fullest potential," Luffa went on.  "Brockle's immature, but at least he wants to get stronger, even if it's just to please his father.  Lesseri wants to be successful, but she doesn't want to put in the work.   All she's interested in is stuffing her bank account with credits and racking up victories any way she can.    Self-improvement for its own sake doesn't mean anything to her."  

Zatte stroked the tip of her chin with her thumb.   "Another loser who justifies their failures, is that what you're telling me?"

Luffa nodded.  "She's not as delusional as Hijik, but it amounts to the same problem.   A potentially great warrior who's content to remain average.  I blame it on her upbringing.   A brat needs parents to teach them these things."

"What about Vigurd?" Zatte said.   "I'd say she's taken your lessons to heart.  As much as Hijik hates the idea of taking instruction from a woman, Vigurd seems to relish it."

"She's too ruthless," Luffa muttered.  "She uses it as a crutch.   Thinks raising children is a waste of time, as if there's nothing to be gained from reviewing the basics with a kid.  And is she really any stronger for all the shortcuts she's taken?"

Zatte waited for her to continue, and when the pause was long enough, she decided to move on.   "Well, that just leaves-"

"Honestly, I think they're all looking for a shortcut," Luffa suddenly said.  "Zaperc discovered that book and thought it would help him or his son get stronger, and the others threw in with him for the same reason.   They'll follow orders, and they'll train, but they'll never get it.   They want a set of instructions to follow.   A secret formula that skips all the hard parts."

Zatte screwed up her face as she regarded Luffa.  It wasn't surprising that Luffa should be so hard on her students, but it sort of conflicted with the characters they were playing.   "Dr. Yokan" was supposed to be selling this team's services, but so far she seemed to be talking herself out of a contract.  

"Does that analysis cover Jikama as well?" Zatte asked in an effort to keep Luffa on track.   "I've found him to be... er, your Dorlun aide tells me he's handled the training very well."

"Of course he has," Luffa said.  "He's only half-Saiyan."

She had stopped looking at Zatte, and had put her elbows on the table so she could lean forward and rest her head on her hands as she stared pensively at the surface.  Zatte waited for Luffa to explain, but she never did.  

"I... know he's half-Saiyan," Zatte said.   "His mother is Chezzi.  That's how Zaperc chose Nat-Chezz for their base of operations.  What about it?"

Luffa sighed.  "It means that what works for him may not work for the others," she said.    Mixed-bloods are tricky to measure.  They're often less powerful than full-blooded Saiyans, or they lack the Saiyan fighting spirit, or both.   Jikama seems motivated and attentive, but that might only be because he's protecting his planet and his mother's people.   That won't carry over to the others, and whatever will work for them might not be effective for him."

"You make it sound like you've already given up on him," Zatte said.  

"I already have," Luffa said.  "He's welcome to learn whatever he can from me, but I'm keeping my expectations low."

"He's one of your own people," Zatte objected.  Now she was the one breaking character, but that no longer mattered in light of what she was hearing.   "Are you really writing him off because he's half-alien?"

"There's going to be things he can't do as well, Zattie," Luffa said.   "I don't hold it against him.   He's got the makings of a fine warrior.   But among Saiyans, he'll always be second-class.   He knows that as well as I do.   I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"No, I suppose I don't," Zatte said.   "All right, fine.   So we've been working with this bunch for a month.   They've tightened up their teamwork and they've got a better handle on how to fight a defensive war, but that's about it.   Their attitudes still stink, and they'll probably never live up to your expectations.   Where do we go from here, xan'nil-Dor?"

Luffa groaned as she leaned back in her chair.  "I don't know," she said.   "I like Planet Nat-Chezz's prospects, at least in the long term.  They could always hire a more professional squad to defend their planet and use what they've learned from working with us.   And Jikama's descendants could end up becoming a nice little warrior tribe in a century or two.   Hell, Bodi might settle down and start a family himself.   It's the Saiyans I'm worried about.  I don't mean these seven.   I mean all Saiyans, everywhere."

Zatte sat down beside her and took her hand.  "You've been saying things like that since we first met Zaperc's gang," she said.  "I keep thinking you're just in one of your moods, but this is different.   What's eating you, Luffa?"  

"You remember that fight we had a while back?" Luffa asked.  

Zatte laughed.  "Only the last thousand or so.   You'll have to narrow it down for me, buster."

"Eight months ago, I think.   I read your mind and picked up something about how you thought I'd changed so much since we first met.   And I didn't take it very well..."

"Oh that one," Zatte said.   "I thought you were going to put me off the ship, you were so angry."  

"I was upset because I didn't want it to be true," Luffa said.  "I've become so different from other Saiyans already, and everyone keeps trying to make it out like I turned into something else, like a mutant or a goddess or whatever.  I'm stronger and... glowier... but I'm still a Saiyan.  I'm still me."

"I know," Zatte said.  

"But I have changed," Luffa said.  "I was just afraid to admit it, because it felt like I was giving up my identity.   Like that green haired guy you were flirting with last night."

"You're still worried over him?" Zatte asked.  "Look, all I did was talk to him--"

Luffa shook her head  "I know.   What I mean is, I felt bad for the guy because we were doing this silly character thing and he wasn't in on the gag.   He probably doesn't even care, but somehow it still bugs me."  

"Well, when you put it that way," Zatte said, "I suppose it was a little unfair to lead him on, even if it was just for a few minutes.   I only did it to get a rise out of you, and I guess it worked, but this wasn't quite what I had in mind."

"What I'm saying is, I don't even know the guy," Luffa said.  "A few years ago, I would have just as soon killed him if he got in my way.   Now I'm worried that we might have hurt his feelings."  

She stood up and pulled her hand away from Zatte's.   "At first I thought it was this telepathy thing, that I was contaminating my mind with other people's thoughts, but it's more than that.   I had to be extremely careful when I first turned into a Super Saiyan.   I've gotten used to being this strong, but I still think before I act a lot more than I used to.    It's given me a perspective that most Saiyans wouldn't have.   Meeting Zaperc and the others, it's hard to ignore that."  

"That doesn't mean you're not a Saiyan anymore, Luffa," Zatte assured her.   "You've grown as a person, that's all."

"No, there's more to it than just that," Luffa said.  "I've always been different.   Kandai knew it, and I think my father did too.  I love fighting.   Every Saiyan does, but they were never as excited about it as I was.   I used to think they were just being mellow, or that I was trying to compensate for how weak I used to be, but now..."

"I have to admit," Zatte said,  "You always made Saiyans sound more noble than the ones I've met.   It's like you're following a different set of rules than the rest of them."

"Yeah," Luffa said.  "My mother taught me everything I know about the Saiyan race.  Who we are, where we came from.   Sometimes I don't think even she took it all seriously, but I did.  I thought everyone else did too.    When my father betrayed me, I thought he was the exception, but then Kandai was in on it, and..."

"You were hoping Zaperc and his followers would be different," Zatte said.   "They already sort of admired you, so you thought they might be more like the kind of Saiyans you could get along with."

Luffa crossed her arms and turned to face her.  "I mean, it's stupid, really.   I'm whining to you about all this, when you're the one who's really alone.   We haven't come across another Dorlun in over a year."

"Part of me is grateful for that, to be honest," Zatte said.  "I decided you were a xan'nil-Dor, someone sacred.   The rules say I'm not supposed to do that on my own, but I don't have a choice right now.  If we ever do find a Dorlun settlement, the first thing I'll need to do is submit you to a council of community elders and let them make the final decision.   I always worry what might happen if they reject my claim."

"Why?" Luffa asked.  "It's not like you need to be right about this."

"But I am right," Zatte said.  "I know I am.   And if they don't agree with me, I'll have to turn my back on them, and then I'll be just as alone as I am right now.   As alone as you probably feel in a room full of Saiyans, I suppose."

Luffa considered this for a minute, then tugged at the collar of her blouse.  "That's why we're really wearing these disguises, isn't it?" she said with an amused sniff.   "It's not so we can escape.  It's so we can blend in, and pretend we're not alone for a while."

"I hadn't thought of it that way," Zatte said.  

Luffa took Zatte by the hands and pulled her gently out of the chair.  "Let's go back to Nat-Chezz," she said.  

"Right now?" Zatte asked.  "We've got two more nights reserved."

"We'll get dinner first, at least," Luffa said.   "But I think we ought to get back to work.   Maybe we can figure out how to get through to these Saiyans."

"You seem confident all of a sudden."

"Well, it's been about sixteen hours since our last argument," Luffa said.  "If we can communicate with each other that well, then anything's possible."

*******

[2 March 234 Before Age.  Awlnee III.]

Things hadn't gone well for Yarrow since his partner had died.  At the time, he had written off Okartish as weak.  Any Saiyan who could be slain so easily deserved his fate.    Okartish's assassin had tried to take out Yarrow as well, and Yarrow had killed her almost effortlessly.    Clearly, Okartish was dead weight.  Their partnership had been fruitful, but this was a sign that it was time for Yarrow to strike out on his own, or so he had believed.

As things turned out, Yarrow gained a new appreciation for Okartish's contributions to their team.  As a solo operator, Yarrow had no one to watch his back in battle.  Once, while looting a planet in the Narl Cluster, a thief broke into his ship and stole key engine components.  In the time it took Yarrow to recover the parts and repair his ship, the planet's defenders had summoned reinforcements.  In his haste to escape, he had been forced to leave most of his plunder behind.  Yarrow had dealt with other hassles, too, but the worst of these was the long trips through space.  Okartish always had a joke or a story to tell, and he knew his way around alien women, which came in handy at spaceports.  He used to enjoy the downtime between missions, but now he dreaded the long days of solitude.

But it couldn't be helped.  Okartish was still dead whether Yarrow appreciated him or not, and Yarrow was still greedy enough that he wasn't in any hurry to share his spoils with a new partner.  Instead, he saved his money and purchased a state-of-the-art entertainment system for his ship.  Now, instead of staring at the stars on the main viewscreen, he could watch movies, sporting events, cockfighting tournaments, and anything else he could pick up on the ship's subspace antenna.  It even included a library of interactive games, though he had no idea how to play them.  It hardly mattered, since he would have plenty of time to practice.  His next target was a rich and isolated world in the Coldin Sector, and it would take nearly two months for him to reach it.

For the first time in what felt like ages, he was actually looking forward to a long trip.  When he had finished his meal, he barked for the waiter to bring his bill, and rushed out the door to get back to his ship.    He couldn't decide what to watch first, but there was no hurry.  It would be fun just to navigate through the multitude of options for a while.  Once the hatch of his ship was finally opened, he hurried inside and headed straight for the cockpit.

He was halfway down the corridor when he heard voices... and music.

Yarrow reached out with his senses, but the only life energy he could detect aboard the ship was his own.  He moved cautiously down the rest of the corridor and found the cockpit dark and empty, except for the movie playing on the viewscreen.  He turned on the lights and found an assortment of empty bottles and food containers on the floor, and the seat of his chair was covered in crumbs.

His first assessment was that someone had broken into his ship again, but it didn't make sense for a thief to lounge around and watch a movie.  He pulled up a diagnostic report on the ship's computer to see if any parts were missing, but everything was all accounted for.  The intruder might have tampered with the diagnostic sensors, but why bother?  If he was long gone, it didn't matter if Yarrow knew what he stole.  And from the mess in the cockpit, he certainly wasn't trying to cover his tracks.

This suggested that the intruder had broken in just to watch some movies and eat Yarrow's snacks.  But that was ridiculous.  There were dozens of larger vessels with better accomodations, and none of those involved risking the wrath of an angry Saiyan.

Then he heard someone say the word "Saiyan" on the viewscreen, and he finally noticed which movie was playing.    It was that ridiculous Luffa movie.  He had never watched it himself, but he had seen enough  advertisements to recognize the lead actress playing the title character.  She was an attractive girl, but too young and thin and delicate to look like a credible warrior, and her tail was all wrong.

A lot of Saiyans considered Luffa to be a myth, or an alien posing as a Saiyan.  No one could ever agree on the details, and even Luffa's gender was hotly disputed in some circles.  Yarrow had no opinion on the matter, except that the movie he was now seeing was a lousy depiction of how Saiyans actually lived.

He wondered if the intruder was an obsessed fan of the film.  Perhaps they had picked his ship because it belonged to a Saiyan, out of some delusional hope that it would bring them one step closer to the imaginary world of the movie.  But how did they get in?  For that matter, how did they get out again?  After the trouble in the Narl Cluster, he'd rigged the ship to require a security code to open the hatches from the inside.

And just as he started to wonder if the intruder was still on board, he felt a pinprick on the back of his neck.  Instinctively, he swung his arm around to strike back at whatever had hit him, but there was nothing there.  He looked around the cockpit desperate, rubbing his neck with frustration, and then he started to become woozy.  He stumbled towards the ship's computer terminal, though he wasn't sure what he planned to do once he got there.  When he finally made it, all he managed was to drop to his knees and slump over the controls.

"The poison will finish you in a few minutes," announced a familiar voice.  "It'll be less painful if you lie still, but it's entirely up to you."

He felt a burning sensation in his muscles.  In spite of her warning, he forced himself to look up to find the source of the voice.  And there she was, perched on the seatback of his chair, looking as if she'd been there the entire time.

"In case you're interested," she said, "Okartish preferred to lie still."

"Y-You!" he gasped.  It even hurt to speak, and he was having trouble breathing, but he was too horrified to stop.  "I killed you...!"

"The joke's on you, Saiyan," she said as she picked up a bag of snacks on the armrest and began to eat.  "I was already dead."

He wanted to know what that meant.  He wanted to know how she had found him and why she was doing this, but the burning sensation in his body finally became too intense, and he fell to the deck.  A few feet away, his murderer sat in his chair and watched the rest of the movie while she waited for him to die.

"Aw, this is my favorite part," she said as she rustled the bag in her hands.  She continued to comment aloud on the movie as she watched, but Yarrow would never hear it.

NEXT: Trial by Fire