#zak toscani

[homemadeknees]

[image ID:

twitter user Zak Toscani @zaktoscani writes:

Folks who don't give you a recipe because "it's a family secret" are very odd. First of all it's not like your family is living off these cinamon rolls and secondly you've told me you cheat on your wife before so like is it fucking clove or not

end ID].

[thecomedybureau]

Faded, one of LA’s favorite indie stand-up shows, especially on Fridays, is back for 2020 with a whole new location. They started in the supply room of an art supplies story, then moved to a belly dancing studio, and now, are moving to their most “conventional” venue thus far, the speakeasy-ish The Lounge on Melrose (7551 Melrose Ave.). 

So, join Mike Mulloy, David Gborie, Sean Jordan, Bri Pruett, and Zak Toscani and their always stacked secret line-ups for a nice price of $5 in advance (limited quantities available) and their normal cost of $10.

The first Faded @ The Lounge on Melrose will be this Fri. Jan. 10th at 8PM (doors at 7:30PM). Go get tickets here.

[365daysinalife]

[wahumorway-blog]

Guy’s Lunch Gets Stolen At Work So He Asks To See The Security Tape, Can’t Believe His Eyes

Guy’s Lunch Gets Stolen At Work So He Asks To See The Security Tape, Can’t Believe His Eyes

The communal office fridge can be an absolute minefield for work relationships. A site of countless crimes, passive-aggressive communication and disputes, it is unrivaled as a source of workplace drama, intrigue and conspiracy.   It’s no surprise then that while politicians and media around the world are furiously pointing fingers over the Skripal poisoning, without presenting a shred of actual…

[rolluptheclouds]

Screenshots of follow-up which starts here (Twitter). Bonus screenshot. Life's mysteries continue.

[sarahbethlibrarian]

Please go read this whole thread. Please. this is so good. It is the story of our time.

[ifyoubuilditcomedyla]

1/21/19

Marcella Arguello Barry Rothbart Dave Ross Zak Toscani Julia Shiplett

[saltykingsalty]

[ Hurt CoPain SacedDiCaprio

the cdc recommends that you should release your inhibitions and feel the rain on your skin

Valerie Tosi

The cdc says companies can start putting cocaine in soda again

danieltsuko13

the CDC recommends you only need to wear a condom for the first 3 mins . thats when the sperm is most potent and active .

Ariel Dumas

The CDC just announced you don't actually have to wash your hands , just get the fingies a little wet

Lauren Hough

The cdc just said fuck it dm your crush do crimes punch a cop . Nothing matters .

Zak Toscani

CDC recommends splitting up your quarantine over your two 15min breaks

Parks Caly cognitiverules

CDC says " Hell with the 5 sec rule , you can now eat off the restaurant floor . "

Michi'sMusings MichelleAdamov

The CDC now says to always run with scissors .

silent nate , holy nate MNateShyamalan

the CDC just announced you can fill a theme park with dinosaurs again if you really learned your lesson last time]

[podcastpalace]

How One Epic Twitter Thread Exposed Nationwide Lunch Theft by The Cracked Podcast ....

Zak Toscani went to his office job last week, thinking it’d be like any other week. By Monday, he was international news. In this special bonus episode of The Cracked Podcast, Alex Schmidt dives into the recent Twitter thread that captivated the world, with its L.A. comedian author. Zak breaks down the entire chain of events, revealing new details about the shrimp fried rice caper’s victim & perpetrator. And he & Alex explore the bizarre worldwide phenomenon of intra-office lunch theft that somehow no one was talking about till now.

Zak's website: https://ift.tt/2q9kJWe

The famed Twitter thread: https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979448251546927104

Additional footnotes: https://goo.gl/tskeUi

[thecomedybureau]

After breezy summer hiatus, Faded, one of LA’s premier backroom comedy shows, will be returning back to its weekly status this Friday with your lovely Faded crew of Mike Mulloy, Sean Jordan, David Gborie, Zak Toscani, Jamel Johnson, and Bri Pruett over at Blue Rooster Art Supplies.

As always, the line-up is secret (but it’s always good) and tickets are $10. Go get your tickets and get back into the groove of Faded here. 

[funnynewsheadlines]

Office Worker Gets His Lunch Stolen, And It Escalates Quickly After He Watches Security Cam Footage

The communal office fridge can be an absolute minefield for work relationships. A site of countless crimes, passive-aggressive communication and disputes, it is unrivaled as a source of workplace drama, intrigue and conspiracy.  

It’s no surprise then that while politicians and media around the world are furiously pointing fingers over the Skripal poisoning, without presenting a shred of actual evidence to support their claims, regular folk are gripped instead by a much more relatable affair. Who stole the shrimp fried rice? 

Twitter user Zak Toscani narrated the tale in a series of hilarious tweets, beginning with the bombshell revelation that the victim of the crime had been given access to the security camera, and the lunch thief would be positively identified beyond doubt. Evidence. A smoking gun.  

In a series of shocking updates, the mystery slowly unfolds and we discover that the culprit did not in fact even eat the stolen lunch. It was taken out of the fridge and thrown directly into the bin, buried beneath the trash as to remain out of sight. What can this mean? An act of revenge from a scorned lover? A militant vegan, protesting for shrimp rights? And what is an appropriate punishment for this seemingly psychopathic behavior?  

So many questions, so much drama. “It’s been awesome,” Toscani told the BBC about the affair. “I think so many people have responded to it because everyone who works in shared office spaces have maybe encountered something similar.”   

Scroll down below to see how it all unfolded and let us know what you think in the comments. Has your office fridge ever been the center of a similar mystery? Feel free to share your story!  

Zak Toscani found himself in the middle of an intense office drama recently

And he decided to tweet the entire episode

Here’s how people reacted to the affair

from Funny – Bored Panda https://ift.tt/2GMjRjC via IFTTT from Blogger https://ift.tt/2EcVDdf

[nerdpiggy]

[ID: First image is a Facebook ad by the official CDC. The text reads, "My job puts me at high risk for exposure. I got vaccinated because it's better to be protected than to be out sick." Beneath the caption is a thumbnail for a video. There's a happy looking barista crossing their arms, and a quote bubble next to them reading, "I'm not letting COVID-19 take my shifts."

Second image is a drawing of an emoji holding a phone and staring into the distance with beyond-tired eyes.

Third image is a tweet by Zak Toscani @.zak_toscani that reads, "CDC recommends splitting up your quarantine over your two 15 minute breaks".

Fourth image is a tweet by rava @.rava that reads, "cdc says if you can lean you can clean".

Fifth image is a tweet by @.jaboukie with the name "CDC" and the CDC logo as his icon. It says, "I know you not coughing with work in the morning 🤨". The tweet has been deleted. /End ID]

[gwintaylor]

RT @zaktoscani: Shout out to getting to fall in love with your friends over and over

Shout out to getting to fall in love with your friends over and over

— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) August 18, 2020

from Twitter https://twitter.com/__theclique August 18, 2020 at 04:46PM via IFTTT

[inklingsofgrace]

Tweeted

HOLY FUCKING SHIT — 27 years ago I threw a message in a bottle in a land locked lake and uhhhhhhhh I JUST RECIEVED A RESPONSE

— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) June 8, 2020

[2shalabhsaxena]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT — 27 years ago I threw a message in a bottle in a land locked lake and uhhhhhhhh I JUST RECIEVED A RESPONSE

— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) June 8, 2020

[letsoulswander]

[ID: A tweet from Zak Toscani @zaktoscani,

Folks who don't give you a recipe bc "it's a family secret" are very odd. First of all it's not like your family is living off these cinamon rolls, and secondly youu've told me you cheat on your wife before so like is it fucking clove or not

End ID.]