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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years ago

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How Not To - Ralph Anderson x Shifter!Reader 3 (The Outsider)

Finale to Halfway Home & Control GIF Credit: X X @wltz-bby @happyskywhale #mendotagsquad @crawlingmist @mendelskrull - for your special interest in this series

Author’s Note: I thought I’d be lucky to induct Ralph Anderson to Team 10K. I didn’t realise he would become the second longest fic on here...

I underestimated just how much I wanted to put them through for their finale. I just hope it’s satisfying. 🙊🙏🤞

Muscially this has always been a big song for me, it seems appropriate to use it here. How Not To - Dan & Shay

Eyes Closed - Halsey

Special shout out to Amanda for her GIF analysis! Couldn’t leave it at just one, though...! 😅

Disclaimer: The Outsider nothing to do with me / These shifters are my creation, but I am once again using Stephen King’s ideas as references / lyrics & gifs not mine

Premise: Ralph Anderson never wants to hear the word ‘Shapeshifter’ again. Apparently that seems inevitable, and Holly brings him a new case. But they need an Outsider to catch an Outsider. And there only seems like one option...

Words: 15,330

Warnings: Swearing / just a whole bunch of angst/angsty fighting / sex (not smut)

⚠ Hurt / Angst Caution Warning (Not as bad as previous... but it’s there!) ⚠

_______

I can honestly understand why it's over I can go through the motions of walking away I can give you the key and take my things back I can find plenty things to fill my days

You're like second nature, baby, you're just like breathin' A melody that you hear and you can't forget The time goes by and I still need you Yeah, you worth the heartbreak and the regret

But I don't know how not to think about you When it's late at night and quiet And I know that I ought to be the one who is strong and just moves on But I’ll probably turn down your road, knock-knock on your door Fall back in your arms, wake up in the morning Hating myself for the way that I can't help the way I still want you I just don't know how not to, how not to, how not to I just don't know how not to, how not to, how not to

--- I, I know where to lay, I know what to say It's all the same And I, I know how to play I know this game, It's all the same

Would've gave it all for you, cared for you So tell me where I went wrong Would've trade it all for you, there for you So tell me how to move on They don't realize that I'm thinking about you It's nothing new, it's nothing new Now if I keep my eyes closed he looks just like you But he'll never stay, they never do Now if I keep my eyes closed he feels just like you But you've been replaced I'm face to face with someone new

---

If there was one call he never wanted, this one was it. Ralph could have sworn that when he said goodbye to Holly Gibney saying he’d like to work with her on a case again, he’d stated a normal one – and he absolutely did. Holly was great, once he’d got used to her. Once he’d kicked his ass into gear over the Frankie Peterson case and immersed himself into the supernatural side of things. When she called again and mentioned the word ‘shapeshifter’, once more Ralph was forced into silence. Preceded by ‘another’, of course, and Holly had to call his name multiple times before he found a voice to tell her he was listening. Now Ralph Anderson and Yune Sablo found themselves sitting back at Cherokee City PD as Holly stood in front of them: police board, evidence, photographs, markers to connect everything. Ralph’s heart sank completely; he didn’t need this again. He’d had enough of this for one lifetime, and unlike Shapeshifters he only had one lifetime. Holly had put together a good investigation; she’d been tracking this one for quite some time, and although it hadn’t stopped over in Cherokee City, it had been through here according to her research. Yet, even though Holly was able to track its movements, she was uncertain she could do much more without the help of the people who had been through this with her before. She was certain she could stop it, determined to, but after Tennessee she didn’t think she could do this alone. This shifter also seemed different to her than their first, it was only because of the patterns she recognised that Holly was even able to keep track of it at all – this one was being extremely careful. Still, none of these factors excused it from the fact that murders seemed to follow wherever it went – finishing it was the only option. And for that she needed Ralph with her, as he had been before. Holly paused her onslaught of information and turned back to them, glad they seemed to be following everything she said. When she asked if they were clear, both men nodded, causing Holly to smile… except she placed her hands together in front of her lips in thought; “If only there was some way to get inside the head of these things, then maybe we’d stand a better chance of catching one...” Ralph, who was still preoccupied with his own thoughts on Shapeshifters – for obviously he had many - raised his head slowly to her musings. Yune stood a little straighter where he was leaning against the desk and looked across to his companion – Ralph, feeling eyes on him, turned to Yune. “No-” “Ralph.” By the look on Yune’s face he wanted Ralph to at least listen to reason. For Ralph Anderson there wasn’t a reason on Earth he’d ever agree to such a senseless idea. “No. No we can’t-!” “She’s our best hope, maybe our only hope!” Yune at least had the decency to plead it. Ralph’s eyes only narrowed, and his voice was firm; “I never wanna see her again.” Holly looked between them, clearly confused, “What?” Yune glanced across to her, just as baffled, hardly believing that Ralph wouldn’t have imparted that information; “Didn’t he tell you?!” “I said we broke up.” Was the flat reply from Ralph, the detective folded his arms, looking like he’d rather talk about anything else. Holly blinked a few times, quickly catching on, “Y/N-!? She- she’s a...?!” Ralph Anderson didn’t let her finish the sentence, teeth gritted; “Don’t even say it.” Before turning his rising anger at having to be reminded on Yune: “We don’t even know where she is - I let her go!” Yune folded his arms and crossed his legs, leaning slightly away from his friend; “And you’re thinking it’ll be hard to look her up!? We have the database – we’ll find her!” Ralph glared back; “She’s a shapeshifter-! What if she changed!? That’s as easy as...” He stalled, looking away again, clearly not in the mood to talk about it anymore. Yune had attempted many times to get Ralph to impart what he’d seen in that field in vain; and although he never told, Yune knew whatever it was haunted him. Instead, Yune turned his attention back to Holly, “It would take maybe a day to figure out where she is... if we go pick her up, two tops... do we have time?” She nodded, that was the only shot any of them had to stop this thing. It wasn’t like before; they would need a shifter to catch a shifter. Holly looked back to Ralph, voice firm, not to be argued with; “We need her.” Ralph was still staring at nothing, and shook his head slowly; “I’m not going. I can’t go...”

*****

The pure ecstasy was almost stifling. So high you could barely breathe. Being with a shifter was always like this; humans always loved softer – probably because love actually factored into it. Human guise or not, there was nothing about your feelings for each other that had anything to do with how you would tangle together under sheets. An urge, an instinct, a call to be answered.

Shimmers of silver in the darkness as your eyes glowed with a refusal to burn out. Elongated talons and razor-sharp teeth left deep scratches across your back, immobilising, painful bites to your neck. Females were bigger and stronger, and for you not to do him any real damage he had to hold you down. But those needles sinking into your skin and drawing up rivers of ink from your veins only hit you with a further shot of pleasure. He wasn’t the same species as you – but he was damn close in his true form. You always preferred sex like this; humans had nerve endings in places your race didn’t – a form of pleasure you were unable to replicate unless you presented as one. Also, having been loved on by one for four consecutive years (who also knew damn well what he was doing), it was unsurprising that you’d not want to go back to anything remotely animalistic. Still – you were unable to stop yourself from crying out as your race would. It was by no means pretty; nowhere near the same as whispering someone’s name breathlessly as you held them tight, the trail of their lips down your neck. It sounded like it belonged in the far-off wilderness of some ancient jungle – where it used to be heard frequently. A call answered by his own; not filling a starry summer night sky, but now a bedroom in a modern house, in some town that could not be further away from where you had been born and grown up. How times change - How your race had always underestimated the advancement of humans. But even with the way you were pinned now; with your blood running from at least three separate places, stuck in some ancient ritual, a biological need engrained in your race since millennia before you were born – the man you were with was not the one you were thinking of. Your eyes were closed, and all that flooded your head was Ralph Anderson. You could feel the way he held you, running his hands over your skin and paying attention to every detail. As a detective he never missed anything – that adorable little smile before he asked you if everything was okay. The feel of him inside your body; making love to your slow, steady, breathing your name carelessly – a whisper across your skin as he planted tender kisses instead of bite marks. Although sometimes Ralph would graze his teeth, even on accident, and you would shudder in the memory of something a lot more like this. If you concentrated hard enough on your human, your partner blended into him – and it was Ralph you could feel all over your body – even this rough. And you couldn’t keep him out, you wouldn’t keep him out. It surprised you that somewhere along the line you hadn’t tipped your head back to call his name instead. You missed him, more than anything – you missed having this with him. Ralph could care about you the way a shapeshifter never could. This was good, but it wouldn’t last. You were the only shapeshifter who stayed in one place. It might take a little while, but your partner would move on. For now you sated each other’s appetite; familiar company that you could truly be yourself around. You didn’t have to control your body; your own claws and teeth sinking into him as you tightened your embrace: you were in charge, and he would move as and when you wanted him to. That taste on your tongue, not quite metallic the way human blood was: of salt and earth, ancient minerals lost to time and space that no human technology would ever recognise. Damaging your partner as such was just another part of the act – it was expected, and your partner knew that he was damn lucky you didn’t kill him. Younger ones would suffer worse with you – even killed accidentally from too many fractures, broken bones, blood loss… Not him; with a name of ancient origin you thought he could have been older than you – but from a different part of the world.

You squeezed your eyes shut again – on the edge of your, very human, climax. And Ralph was right back with you, the gentle sound of his voice coaxing you, hands laced with yours, how his kisses would swallow your groans as you struggled to hold back and the sweet way he would chuckle; ‘Baby… come on… just a little more… I got ya…’ Everything went cloudy for a moment, and Ralph flooded your senses heavier than before: it was his body and his weight, Ralph’s scent and his heartbeat flush with yours. His shiver as he unwound himself from that high that you couldn’t experience – not the way his human body would, but that fascinated you to watch, to feel. You withdrew your needle like teeth from the shoulder of your partner, running your tongue gently over the punctures to stop the flow of blood – you’d both heal quick. Another trait of your race. You slowed your breathing, silver eyes burning a little brighter, but Ralph’s ghost didn’t leave you this time. And before you knew it a single tear was sliding down your cheek. He didn’t see – this man would surely take his leave of you, even when you settled your head in the crook of his neck and pulled him closer, pretending this was anywhere near to what you had in Cherokee City. Yes, he’d leave – but Ralph Anderson never would. ***** Five Years Later… You raised your head from the morning paper – dumfounded. Once you’d got a good feel for people they were never really gone. Even if they’d never touched your soul – even if you’d never had their DNA flow through your veins, people still left a mark on you. This one you hadn’t felt in 5 years, and of all of them to turn up at your door, his wasn’t who you expected. You felt it long before his car pulled into the drive, but you let Yune Sablo step out of the vehicle before you opened your door, standing on the porch with your arms folded as he approached. There was a healthy silence between you as he kept his head bowed. Taking a deep breath before he raised his eyes to yours; there was a hard look on your face, it wasn’t welcoming. “What, is he too good to come and collect me himself!?” Yune immediately looked deflated, “You know I didn’t come here for Ralph.” You held your hand up, “No. Don’t – Don’t ruin it and say his name. What do you want?” “We need you.” Your arms folded and you ran your tongue over your bottom lip, eyebrows raised, “Uh huh.” “No really-!” Yune didn’t dare take even one step up your porch, he knew what you were. Even if he didn’t know what you were capable of, he’d seen enough from your fellow shapeshifters to not want to incur that from you – considering the displeasure on your face. “Y/N, there’s been a string of murders… Holly’s been putting it together and she came to Cherokee City for our help. But we need you.” “Holly?!” For a moment you seemed perplexed, your expression softened and Yune thought he might be able to sway you just by using her, but your eyes narrowed, “You told her?” “We had no choice. We need you. Don’t do it for him – do it for us. Do it for your race.” “Yune. It’s been 5 years, I’m DONE with Cherokee City. And I’m particularly done with its police department. What makes him think I want to see him again?” “I know it’s been 5 years. I think about that every day. That I could have prevented this, and if I’d just got to him quicker then he wouldn’t…” You let out a sigh, dropping your stance and relaxing, “Don’t beat yourself up over what Ralph Anderson did… I won’t let you do that to yourself. What do you need me for, you killed one before?” “Psychology. Getting inside its head. It’s trackable but… it’s careful. Much more careful than the last one.” You lowered your eyes, but nodded; “What makes you think I haven’t gone down that path myself? What makes you think I’m not gonna turn on all of you?” Yune shook his head; “I know you.” He did take that step, but hesitated as your eyes pierced his with an unnatural glimmer of silver. “If you care about us like I know you do, do it for us. Us.” He swallowed, “Y/N. You’re not a bad person. Or whatever you want to qualify yourself as. You can make a difference, and prove to us that you’re not all bad.” “I don’t have anything to prove.” This time when the silver shimmered to life it stayed, and Yune couldn’t tear his eyes away from it. He still had no idea what Ralph had done to you; he was starting to think maybe he should have pressed his friend before coming out here. You looked around at the other houses, suddenly glad that Yune was in his own car and not a marked one, “How did you find me anyway?” “Like I said, you’re a good person. You kept your name and you’re registered here. It’s not… too hard.” It wasn’t a warm smile by any means, but you flicked your head towards your front door – “Okay. Before I come with you, you best come inside – for one, I better pack.” Yune grinned, happy that you were seemingly accepting, that you would answer their plea: “And notify work, right!?” Once inside you packed quickly; not before making Yune a quick cup of coffee. Allowing him some time to unwind before he’d have to drive all the way back. As you packed, Yune sat with his coffee staring around your house. Minimalist. There were barely any photographs on walls, or pictures either. It hardly looked lived in; a shell of a house. Even the bathrooms held no trace of being used. But there was something else too, where there should have been a bathroom mirror, he was faced with nothing. And being inquisitive, Yune found that if the mirrors in this house were still in place, then they were turned around. He wondered if that was a question he could just ask. Yune supposed he wasn’t exactly sure what Shifter etiquette would be. You’d just have to tell him where that line was. Realising just how trapped you’d be with him in a car back to Cherokee City, you weren’t surprised that Yune wanted to try to get all his questions in. You didn’t seem reluctant; and he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel about that. Because you weren’t exactly happy either. “So, how’ve you been? What have you been doing? There, uh, anyone you need to tell you’re leaving?” “Uh, I’m an analyst. It’s okay, it’s a job and I get paid… I like where I live. And no, I’m not attached, which is also fine… What else is there to say?” “I guess I expected you to be upset but… you’re here. You’re just, gonna come.” “I’ll be damned if I let Ralph Anderson make me bitter and twisted.” You smiled, “The street I live on is entirely couples. I surrounded myself with love – as I always do. Now that is truly the only way for my race to live. I thrive on that kind of love.” If you could call what you were doing right now ‘thriving’. “I could have lived on his, but we all know what happened there.” “Do you miss him?” There was silence for a long time, and your face was stoic as you mulled your answer over, before it fell, and you started to look upset: “It’s not just about missing him, Yune. He’s a part of me – they all are. And I’ll carry them all for the rest of my life, every strand of DNA I’ve ever replicated. But Ralph… I let him deeper than anyone. It’s easy to collect DNA and just go off and use it, but he… Do you have any idea what it’s like to look in a mirror and hate every fibre of what you are? It’s not just me he hates – it’s what I am! I can’t get away from that even if I do wear another face.” “That explains the mirrors.” He said it before he even realised, and quickly added an embarrassed “Sorry.” “No. You’re right. I can’t… stand myself. But I can’t stay out of this form for very long. So, I have to face it… but it’s not easy. Ralph Anderson is torture. But he helps.” “You – shift into Ralph!?” “He never told you what happened in that field did he?” “No.” “Figures.” But you offered no more on the subject, turning to the window, and Yune wouldn’t press you either: “I drive his car, I wear his clothes, I can face him in a mirror and I even keep track of what he's up to. When I remember. He’ll never get out of my head, and I’ll never get over him. That’s what I’m learning to live with. And now he’s dragging me back. Do I have a choice in facing this? You already know I don’t, Yune.” He reached out and gently patted your hand, “I’m sorry.” You whipped around quickly at the feel of his hand on yours, and he caught that silver again: “I’m not afraid of you, Y/N. And I’ll get you back soon I promise. I won’t let him hurt you.” You could only nod, and barely smile. You understood Yune’s sentiments; but what he was promising was impossible. Just seeing Ralph Anderson again would be more painful than anything you’d faced. You returned your gaze slowly to the scenery and took a deep breath. You weren’t about to tell Yune that you were nervous, thoughts chasing themselves around your head. You were already being torn up by the prospect of seeing him again, and the longer you had to stay in Cherokee City the more torn you’d become. Get in, solve the case, get out. And it being that quick was your only hope… ***

Ralph Anderson would probably never admit it to anyone, but what he was feeling towards you wasn’t far off what you were feeling for him. Ever since he’d gone home from the ‘agreement’ he hadn’t been sleeping well. This morning Yune had simply sent him a text to let him know he was on his way to collect you. You still bore the same name and face – and Ralph wasn’t sure how he’d react when he saw you. Last night had been the worst; wrecked with dreams good and bad, and all of them about you. The worst, and one that had been reoccurring since you left, was the field – playing out exactly the same, except sometimes he’d pull that trigger – sometimes you would attack him and leave him to die – and sometimes he’d be back in that cave in Tennessee, but it’d be you he was facing. You wouldn’t leave him, and he was anxious. What would happen when he did see you again – would he be just as fearful as he was facing you before? Or would it turn to anger and hatred? He wasn’t sure he wanted to show that side of himself to his friends. Which made Ralph ponder exactly what you might be telling Yune. There’s two sides to every story though, and surely Yune would understand mine… He was nervous to see you too – because something else he’d realised, in the past 5 years, was that he couldn’t hate you. Of course, Ralph did hate you, but only because he couldn’t love you. How was that possible, after all you’d done? With what you were. It was still early but he was sitting at his desk and sipping straight bourbon. He’d need it, Ralph knew that much. He opened the top draw and was faced with a picture of you; pulling the frame out he stared at your face, wishing he felt nothing and only stopping when his eyes started to smart. It had only been recently that he’d cleared traces of you from the house. Yune shouldn’t have been surprised at the mirrors in your home because the pictures in Ralph’s told the same story, turned around or face down until he finally rid his residence of them. Your clothes were all in bags in the garage, but he’d never quite got around to his promise of burning them all. Ralph had been on dates but, he’d never found anyone else. He just classed himself as emotionally unavailable. But never had much trouble blaming you for this. Maybe he was just waiting for something he couldn’t have – and maybe Ralph was waiting on miracles. Although he’d never mention that either. As he strolled into the department that morning, Holly observed him with worry. Of course she was already up bright and early. Ralph slumped down in his chair with a sigh; and looked more tired than she’d ever seen him. Holly made coffee and set it in front of him without even asking. She felt Ralph probably needed more than that, but wasn’t about to encourage drinking when she needed them to focus. “You look like you didn’t sleep much.” “Yeah, well. It’s a big day, I’m not the best sleeper as it is these days.” She at least looked sympathetic as he gazed up at her to thank her for the coffee. “Are you ready for this?” Ralph nodded a few times slowly, before it quickly turned into a head shake; “I’ve never been more unprepared in my life.”

*** Ralph’s adrenaline and heartbeat spiked the second he heard your voice – but he could control it. Your sentences were cut and single words to answer Yune’s questions – but not unfriendly. The unmistakable sound of your footfall had him looking up as you both walked into the room. You stopped dead as your eyes caught his – as did your talking. You hadn’t changed one bit, you looked like you hadn’t even aged a day – frozen in time, just like the pictures, and memories that filled Ralph’s mind. Somehow that made everything hurt just that little bit more. Yune and Holly stood around like awkward third wheels; but, certainly aware of the hostile tension that had just engulfed the room. Your face didn’t really convey a lot of emotion, but your glare was heavy and it made Ralph shift uncomfortably in his seat. That movement undid all his hard work of keeping it together, and although he was still holding your gaze, he suddenly looked pathetic and guilty. It didn’t make you feel anything: As he should. You turned away from him, to Holly. “I believe you need me for your investigation.” Ralph immediately shuddered at the sound of your voice and found it hard not to vocalise something, even when you weren’t talking to him. “You want to get inside the mind of a shifter, you’ve got one. I will caution you before we begin, we aren’t all the same. So, lay it on me – what you want to know AND already know. Yune said there was a pattern, maybe I can determine what type this shifter is from that…” You took a breath, unable to keep yourself from smiling at her, “It’s good to see you again, Holly. Thank you for believing in me.” And Ralph knew that was an immediate shot at him. Holly instantly beamed, and the tension in the room dissipated, because you weren’t expecting it. The third human in the room was forgotten for a moment, and you let your icy façade melt. These two hadn’t done anything to you, at least not yet, so you had to behave amicably to prove a point. Not that you wouldn’t have – but in the presence of people who knew what you were, you at least knew you had to be careful. “It’s good to see you too, Y/N. I have to say this revelation is at least a little fascinating.” “Well… Anything I can do to prove we aren’t all like him. This seems to be getting a little ridiculous.” “You’re not wrong…” But she kept smiling as she studied you, “I mean, they’ve told me what they know…” she indicated to Ralph and Yune. “And you don’t appear to be like he was – you don’t shed, is that correct? You… uh… shimmer?” Your eyes gravitated to her coffee cup, “I can show you. If you want. The problem is your last one was a baby. If you start coming up against those much older it’ll just get harder. The patterns this one is leaving could just be a flashy show of confidence. Not mistakes.” “Show us?” Ralph shifted anxiously and you could feel his unease, turning your eyes on him: “You already know I can do you, what’s the point in that?” You indicated to Holly’s coffee cup, “If you’re finished with that… I can…” She tipped her head in thought, then decided to nod and handed it over, continuing her questioning as you inspected the rim of the cup. “You don’t need my blood?” “That’s the easiest way, and how we start off – then we graduate. Any form of DNA works fine and it doesn’t need to be consumed. But again, that depends how old you are.” You stopped twisting the cup and glanced back to Holly, “You’re SURE you want me to do this? I can’t get inside your head, I promise that. But I will feel your emotion.” She nodded, but questioned again, “What is that like?” “For me…” You gave a shrug, lifting the cup to your lips and running your tongue across the edge, “It’s all I know.” You placed it down and waited patiently for the DNA to code itself into you – “This’ll take a second-. But you put me in a café and you leave your cup behind. Bam. I have you on file for the rest of my life. Some would rather their long string of love affairs; one-night stands or kisses its all the same, some just like the taste of blood. I think the less interaction the better, personally.” You stretched, “You sure you’re ready for this?” Holly nodded, but you knew all of them were immediately more tense as you took a breath and shimmered – Ralph couldn’t help but be transfixed to watched the way your eyes lit that haunting silver as your body once more seemed to wash with pixels, before Holly stood face to face with herself. You blinked a few times, eyes still shining. “Sorry.” Holly and Yune jumped at her voice from your mouth, “The eyes always take a little longer than anything else.” “And you can just change back?!” “Mhm.” You gave a nod, “Give me a few minutes, it’s like going through a hard reset.” “Why are there so many different species? I mean he wasn’t like you… I met another and he wasn’t like you either…” “Evolution. We do the same thing in different ways. Species and genus, I guess. But practice. He took a month to change, it used to take me longer to change. I had to go through a middle step of reverting back to true form to switch humans. It’s not the most intuitive thing.” “True form?” “I said to Ralph before…” You paused for a minute as your DNA began to even out over Holly’s, “I’m much more traditionally monster than human. Think… animal, not… person. In fact, we’d fit a lot better in your animal kingdom than we would the way you live. Excuse me.” You held your hand up and shifted yourself back, “See. It’s THAT simple.” Holly tilted her head; “Could… you elaborate?” “Sure. I’m Quadrupedal, little bit more front heavy. Sharp teeth like needles, claws… I’m used to four digits. If we did stand up… maybe 8ft tall, probably bigger. Females are the larger of the species. You seem to be getting lucky on that front. Males don’t tend to survive the mating process – think spiders.” “I’m starting to think it’s a good thing you look human.” Yune sounded more than a little faint. “Yeah well, humans went and hunted us down – so we had to adapt.” You nodded to Holly’s board, “What do you think you have? One like me? Worse?” “WORSE!?” Yune looked across to you. “Hun, I am by no means the oldest of my kind. There are worse out there than the type I am. There’s a kind that never evolved – think parasitic worms.” “W-WHAT!?” You smirked, “Yeah. Way worse. That’d kill me easy.” You shot Ralph a look, “Detective, sitting there thinking ‘shame’ isn’t exactly helpful.” Ralph looked perplexed for a minute, deer in headlights. “Just because I can’t hear your thoughts, doesn’t mean I don’t know what you’re thinking.” You sat back on the desk as Holly went through her discoveries and you started to try to piece together the person she was describing. Which type they could be. You could already offer suggestions: it was a strange set of patterns, and there were things they weren’t seeing because they weren’t shapeshifters. You liked that at least two people in the room seemed receptive and thankful for your presence on this. Holly brought up her video footage after that – the suspects looked slightly different in each but they all had the same movements, the same way of doing things. They weren’t trying to blend into the people they were copying, simply use them as a disguise. You were impressed she’d managed to get so far on body language. Yet there was something familiar about it that concerned you. Just how many of your kind had you been around in your life? Too many to recall and yet each one, just like the DNA you all collected, imprinted into your memory in a different way. This one was in your bank somewhere. It wasn’t what you wanted to realise. That unease certainly didn’t end as Holly continued to pull up pictures; and suddenly you became too alert, straightening and stiffening on the desk your nails gripped the table, eyes wide in shock. He’s not hiding anymore… Holly read this immediately; “You know him… don’t you?” You swallowed hard, realising all eyes were now on you. You did, of course you did. And he wasn’t someone you had to comb through your memories to find – he was right there; the man had just left you. “Better than I would care to say…” you nodded to her screen, “He’s not hiding. That’s his face. The equivalent of what I chose to present to you.” Then you shook your head, “SHIT!” After what you’d been through for nearly three years? Now you find this out?! It shouldn’t have bothered you, loving and leaving was what your race did. But this was worse than that. Ralph could read you like a book, and found that his jealousy and pain were blending together; “Oh, it hurts doesn’t it? When you find out the person you’re with isn’t what they seem.” You didn’t miss a beat: “What, don’t like what you see in the mirror?” Once again your detective didn’t have a comeback. “How recently?” “He left me 3 years ago. That’s nothing new, that’s how it works.” “What works?” You hesitated, but opted to continue: “Well, any ‘relationship’ really. We don’t… mate for life.” It was like air had just left the room, and you didn’t dare look at Ralph Anderson’s face. All you would see was anger and betrayal. “We were together a surprisingly long while, I suppose our cycles can be sensed. 27 years is a long time to wait for something like that.” Holly blinked a few times; “I didn’t think you could have… children. Every 27 years?” “Nothing to us. But I can assure you, we have children. At least my branch of our race can.” “So... you’re not sterile?” “Anything in your hospitals, honey, would say I was, even during the cycle. Males don’t have cycles but would still show as sterile in your readings.” “How many do you have?” Well, you’d come this far… “Alive? I can’t tell you. 17 total.” Ralph did the quick calculation in his head. That made you 435 years old, minimum. On the assumption that every 27 years you did in fact bare children. And you looked like only the last 2 numbers of that. But it was bothering him; “How – how can you not know how many are alive!? You only just had one.” You sighed, turning to him – sure enough he was the spitting image of the man who’d pointed a gun at your head. Only now Ralph just looked like he wished he’d pulled the trigger. “What part of monster, or, animal don’t you understand?? We’re not humans, we present as human. There’s no 18 years and close relationships, Ralph. Once they’re ready to leave, they leave. When a bird can fly it leaves the nest. It’s exactly the same – you’re thinking too much about my body not my genetics.” Why was he still so pissed about the whole kids thing, anyway? Why did Ralph care either way about you and your race? You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes; “As you keep pointing out – Ralph Anderson – I’m not human.” You turned back to Holly, “His name is Aldric. And we have a problem here, his race is like mine – maybe a little worse and certainly faster. I might be bigger, but I’m almost certain he’s older than me.” Ralph scowled from his chair, folding his arms and crossing his legs: “Fucking perfect.” They continued their rounds of questions and you remained to help them work through patterns you could see that they couldn’t. But every time you saw Aldric’s face it jarred you – mating wasn’t the problem, that was a call you had to answer if possible. If their first shifter had been around you’d have still answered it; it was the fact that it had been a relationship, of sorts, first. And you didn’t form friendships with Shifters that did things like this – dead against killing for what it had cost your race in the past. Aldric had passed all your tests, a genuinely upstanding guy – you hadn’t sensed that he was hiding anything – so what had happened? It wasn’t a question you could answer, but one that you desperately needed to know. Nothing like having a second personal stake in all this… Having said that, every time Ralph said something pointed or facetious, you only ever responded cold and emotionlessly; shutting him down at every turn. You weren’t going to let him sit there pretending he was in the clear on this one. You were around the point of calling it quits, when they were all explaining to you where he’d been seen most recently. Currently it didn’t look like he was moving from that city – they all theorised that Aldric was choosing his next victim before he moved on. You couldn’t help but agree, even though you didn’t want to. The next few days would be vital. Although as they continued talking about next steps, you tipped your head and lost yourself in another thought. Was this going to involve killing Aldric? Was that what you wanted? Was it the only way? Could he be brought to justice… could a monster like you ever be brought to that kind of justice? Instead you voiced your question quietly; “Don’t you guys think you’re going to need a lawyer when this blows up?” They turned to each other, and it was obvious that none of them had considered a situation that didn’t end with a body. Yune frowned: “Well there’s always the DA?” Ralph immediately scoffed, “The DA is useless, I still don’t get how he won the election. I don’t trust him with half my shit.” “…Then who!?” Yune was clearly going to keep your spirits up, yet you weren’t under any illusions. Instead you got a bright idea of your own, Hayes: “I know just the guy.” Then it really was late, and you did all have to call it a night. Ralph was the first one to stand, and looked to you, “Well, you can come stay with me.” You looked at him like he was insane, and then laughed, “I’d rather sleep in the car. Or in a jail cell here, than go home with you.” That clearly stung, Ralph wasn’t expecting it. But you had enough doubts about this detective not to take him up on it. You didn’t want to be in that house, and certainly not with him. Ralph was making his feelings for you quite obvious and if the last five years had changed his stance, he might truly kill you this time. To stop the silence from being any more awkward, Yune stepped in, “It’s okay – you can stay with me. It’ll be fine.” “Oh…” You weren’t sure you expected that, “Thank you.” He nodded his ‘you’re welcome’, “If you’re ready we can go. Be back here bright and early.” You all said your goodbyes, but you paused at the door; “OH! Can I take the map? It might take me all night, but I’ll figure out where he’s likely hiding. Shifters are nothing if not habitual…” “Sure! Thank you, Y/N!” Holly once again beamed as you rolled the map up and smiled back, “No problem. Mutual goals and all that right?” “Mhm, Goodnight Y/N! Don’t stay up too late.” “I’ll try-!” You grinned, “Goodnight, Holly.” The obviousness of you not even acknowledging Ralph, let alone wishing him a goodnight, was not lost on him – you still didn’t care. With the map tucked under your arm, you followed Yune out to the elevators. “You still love her, don’t you?” Ralph’s eyes flicked to Holly, then back to your receding frame – talking to Yune, you seemed so much happier out of this room. Out of Ralph’s presence. The detective chewed his lip, deciding to let his expression answer for him. ***

After staying up most of the night pouring over the map and your laptop, you had a fair idea of where Aldric could be. After all, you knew him, right? At least you thought you did. You were starting to think that the revelations of your ex-partners were becoming a little too much. You left Yune’s house early – just about catching him as you were taking off out the door. Upon asking where you were going, and you announcing you were about to drag the ex-DA into this, he laughed. “Need a lift?” “No. I could use the walk.” “You know where you’re going?” “Mhm. I did the research; I’ll meet you all back at the precinct. Hopefully lawyer in tow.” “Alright, see you soon Y/N… OH!” You turned back at his gentle tug on your sleeve, “It’s good to see you again. I don’t know if I said yet. It’s just real good to have you back.” You let yourself beam, “Thanks Yune… I needed that.” The sign read K.W.S.Hayes and Partners – KWS? Well okay, Mr. Two-Middle-Names. You laughed to yourself as you walked through the front door. You were glad everything was still quiet; you could avoid a lot of people you knew and awkward questions that way. You didn’t even need an appointment. Well, not that you’d let someone who barely looked out of her twenties stop you, with your “I’m an old friend.” Kenneth Hayes jumped, and this time his papers did scatter everywhere. You watched them float to the floor, only wishing it was five years earlier, before your eyes met his again and you closed his door. “How the HELL did you-” “Old friends tends to get me places.” “Jesus, who let you back into Cherokee City?!” “I’m not in your office to do anything but get you on this case.” He hesitated, “What case?” “Surprise, surprise, there’s another of me out there and your PD want my help.” There was too long a pause and you knew that he was only pretending to be disinterested, “No thanks, isn’t that a DA role?” You folded your arms, “They left you in the dark last time. I won’t let them do it again. Besides, I hear the current DA isn’t so hot and I KNOW a good lawyer when I see one.” He squinted at you for a moment, then scoffed, very nearly disgusted. “Find someone else.” “Don’t misunderstand me, Hayes.” You took a step, eyes flashing. “I don’t just want you on this case, they need you on this case. And if I have to drag you across town to the PD kicking and screaming… well…” You indicated to yourself, knowing that would explain enough. Hayes swallowed, accepting his fate, “When do we start?” You smirked, “Oh baby, the fun has already begun!” As you might expect, and they probably expected to from their previous experience, there was a good network of caves on both sides of the city and scores of abandoned buildings grouped together - from what you’d been able to gather, also fairly overgrown. “But he’s older than you.” “It’s habitual.” At this point you were getting sick of Ralph questioning everything that came out of your mouth, and were sure the other three (now Hayes was up to speed) were sitting there internally groaning ‘ohhh my god, will you two quit it! We got a case to work on.’ “It’s not about the hiding to change, although it may be to do with not wanting to be disturbed. It’s about dragging your prey somewhere quiet. It’s about remaining inconspicuous and in the shadows. None of us grew up in cities and towns, the world simply changed around us. Places like naturally occurring caves are like our ancestral homes.” You tapped the map, “Abandoned shells of buildings are an alright substitute. We all adapted to this sure, but he’s actively killing – and that’s an instinct we evolved with. He’s thinking home. I know it.” You placed your balled fist against your mouth for a moment allowing for a pause for thought; “I can’t get you closer unless we’re actually there, but, once we are it’ll be more accurate. And I can pinpoint exactly where he’s staying – especially considering our history.” “Can he sense… you?” “Possibly. But I doubt he’d think twice about it. He wouldn’t know why I’m there…” Suddenly you found yourself getting disheartened: “I just don’t get it. It’s been the first time in a long while I’ve seen so many of us. Holly you’ve seen three, well four, of us now. How am I’m the only good one? It was never like this. They shouldn’t be the rule.” The silver shine on your eyes was dull as they smarted, and Yune put his hand over yours; “Maybe it’s because you’re the only one left alive old enough to remember the times when you weren’t oppressed. You said it yourself, you don’t know how old he is. Maybe everyone else has heard these stories and wants revenge. Wants to feed on our pain and suffering, because humans caused your entire race pain.” “But how can they not realise that LOVE... love is...” Holly reached for your other hand, understanding what Yune was trying to do; if they lost your help to delusion they would never get anywhere: “But you experienced that. Who’s to say they ever did?” Try as Holly might she was unable to keep her glance off Ralph, who gave Holly a similarly worried look. “But how can they not tell the difference?” “Closed off to it? Maybe they don’t recognise it... maybe pain is so strong that the sustainability of love is not worth it... it doesn’t register.” You took your hands back, not allowing a sob, but rubbing the tears away before they could flow down your cheeks. Too many people were suffering – you had all suffered too but, humans didn’t need to bear the sins of their ancestors. Was there no way to live in harmony? You found yourself crying, not only for your race, but for everyone who had to grieve because of it.

*** You all gave yourselves an hour to get ready, not that you weren’t already living out of a bag. The original idea was the four of you went down and confronted him, as they had done in Tennessee. That this time they’d keep Hayes completely in the loop. The lawyer was already clearly invested, which made you happy, as he shook his head: “I didn’t get involved last time on your decision. I’d quite like to be included this time on my own terms. I can see it through – then I’ll avoid any strange stories floating my way.” He was clearly referring to that Jack Hoskins lie, he nodded to you, “Besides. I trust her.” Your eyebrows raised at this but you bowed your head in thanks. 3 down, 1 to go. Of course he would be the most difficult. Yune let you sit quietly alone as he packed and before you knew it you were standing back in the precinct deciding on whose car was being taken. The final decision landed on Ralph’s and Yune’s, so you split your things and yourselves between the two cars. Obviously, the idea was to keep you and Ralph separate. He wasn’t so happy about that decision and ended up overruling everyone by force; arm out to pin you back against his car. “What are you-” “Nope.” “Ralph!” “They might trust you, but I certainly don’t. You’re coming with me.” His voice was low and left you glaring at him again, he nodded Holly towards Yune’s car but she was hesitant. You took a breath and moved her on instead. “It’s okay Holly, I’ll be okay.” She clearly wasn’t having that, and as Ralph kept you pinned there, you watched her whisper urgently to Yune; you could imagine that she wanted to make sure this car was in sight of theirs the whole time. You drew your eyes away from them and back to your ex-partner, “What, so you can finish what you started?” “Don’t flatter yourself. I swear to God, you even THINK of hurting them.” “Don’t you think I would have done it before now? What is wrong with you?! How can he change your opinion of me so easily?” “You lied to me!” “And you threatened to shoot me twice. You said it yourself Ralph, if you didn’t love me I’d be dead, so you can stop acting like I’M the threat here.” It was strange to be so close to him again, his DNA used to be a part of your everyday existence. By shifting into him so often – and being comfortable there – you’d kept that true. But now he was back this close to you, your body was giving you many different reactions. It was as repulsed by him as it wanted to pull him into you and never let him go. The confusion was not helping you keep control and you knew that silver was burning again by the way distress momentarily flickered over his features. Somehow the car ride wasn’t as tense as you imagined. You supposed there was so much you really had to say to each other, considering the passage of time. Yet neither of you knew how or where to begin; and both of you were guilty of something. For a long time there was silence, before Ralph took a calm breath and broke it. “Why did you come back?” You eyed him curiously, “You needed me. I assumed if you let Yune turn up on my doorstep at all, you were fine with it. I want to stop this as much as you do, even if you don’t believe that.” “You understand why I have trust issues with you, right?” “I think you must understand the same.” Ralph nodded: “As long as we’re on the same page.” There was another pause before he started again, “Five years is a long time to still hate someone.” “I don’t hate you, and I’m certainly not scared of you, but if you touch me I’m gonna throw a fit.” He nodded to the car in front, “Don’t think I haven’t seen Yune checking his mirrors every five seconds and the way Hayes always turns around. They’re watching out for ya.” You lowered your eyes to the floor, and spoke quieter, “I am not to blame for the sins of my race. I wish you’d been able to see past that. But every time you look at me, all I can see is how you feel about them. I’m the rule, Ralph. We’ve never been like this... I guess we’re all just angry.” “All. Including you.” “Understanding, of why humans rose up. We’re not Gods – even if we acted like it. Stories passed through generations; those so twisted by what happened. I get that – it hurt, to be hunted that way. But murdering humans doesn’t help anything. And killing you all now? Children with bad tempers don’t represent my race. And yet will become the poster children.” Ralph shifted in his seat, about as uncomfortably as you might expect, before turning his eyes on you. There really wasn’t a lot you had to ask, he understood what you were getting at. You turned away from him, rubbing your hands together, before moving the same motion to your wrists. It was too painful for him to think of you in handcuffs, so he took another breath and smiled. He was beginning to think that you were as wrong as you were right; no, you weren’t like them, but Ralph considered that you were the exception these days, not the rule. It was unfortunate that the group had dealt with so many bad ones. He was warming to you; it was going to take some time, but he knew he was. He wanted so badly to reach for you and tell you that. But he knew he couldn’t, Ralph Anderson swallowed fixing his eyes back on the road and the car in front just as Yune eyed him again. They didn’t trust him with you either and he had more than proved they had grounds. You should have known that the amicable atmosphere between you wouldn’t last. Your question was innocent enough, he knew you had ‘moved on’ – if that was even a thing your race did; you’d at least have classed yourself in something akin to a relationship with Aldric. He was the father of one of your children after all – but Ralph had kept quiet about his own love life. It’d been five whole years – he might have been older, but that didn’t mean you didn’t know how women looked at him; and with that face? You couldn’t blame them. “Are you single?” He blinked before he answered, slowly, “Yes.” “Huh.” Your mouth became a thin line, nearly a frown, “I’m surprised, I thought it’d be easy for you to move on. Surely all the girls are killing to date you now? Have you been with anyone?” Maybe he had and it hadn’t lasted – it’d been a long time. You were met with immediate hostility: “Well how can I trust anyone is who they say they are after you?!” Feeling that was pretty uncalled for, you shot back, “Don’t blame me for YOUR feelings. You know all the tells. You should have just gone ahead and dated!” Ralph glared at you, it was icy and threatening, causing you to back up against the car door; “Yeah well, I didn’t, did I? I didn’t just go off and fuck someone else. And have kids.” Your eyebrows knitted together in anger, “Screw you Ralph Anderson. You’re the one who said you never wanted to see me again. And I TOLD you, we can’t have children. What is your obsession with that-?! I’m surprised not to find you married with kids the amount you go on about it!!” “Well I’m not, am I?! I don’t just get to choose to do something like that! I accepted we couldn’t have kids, but that’s all bullshit anyway! All you ever did was lie!” “Don’t you put this on me!” You slammed your hand on the dashboard, turning your body fully to him; “WHY DOES IT ALWAYS COME BACK TO THIS, WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN’T CARE!!” “Because you can have them!” “Once every 27 years Ralph! And you can’t treat them like human children. They would never stay. You can’t bend them to that, and they wouldn’t be… yours.” “I dunno, surrogacy? Adoption? We never even talked about it.” “Why didn’t you bring that up!? How easy do you think that would be? I don’t… die like you do. I’d live my life with you, and then when you passed on, I’d take a few years and disappear. And then start over. But there’s never going to be another you Ralph. They always warned me about humans, and they were right. But you were worth every fucking second until you tore it all up." “Are you saying this is MY fucking fault!? If you’re at least over 400 then how the hell did you ever think we’d work out?!” “I’d age up with you. It’s easy. Ralph, you never would have noticed. Without him all my little tells are ticks and tricks of the light.” “You bleed blue!” “Well that still took you four years and killing one of us.” Then you remembered, “Fuck, you nicked me, didn’t you? To check that I really was…” You placed your hands over your eyes, groaning, “Why didn’t you just ask?! You could have just asked. And calmly told me to get out… instead you pointed a gun to my head and threw me in a jail cell.” “Y/N-” “No. No.” You protested, “I’m fucking DONE Ralph. Don’t touch me, don’t even talk to me.” You rolled your body away from him and curled yourself up as best you could in the seat, closing your eyes. Hopefully sleep would come quick and would last the rest of the car ride. Hopefully it wouldn’t be plagued with bad dreams… You wouldn’t say that your dreaming was bad, just that your dreams were more content to feed you memories… This one of Aldric, of course. You understood why, perhaps most obviously because you couldn’t wrap your head around his sudden change. Aldric knew all about Ralph Anderson, you were only too happy to share your experiences with someone who understood them. Yet it wasn’t just because you’d told him, but because of your tendency to shift into Ralph: just to hear his voice, or see his face (albeit in a mirror), because you felt safe and comfortable in a body so familiar to you. Ralph looked – and was – a 6ft-odd tall, sure of himself man; no one was going to bother you when you were Ralph Anderson. It was a face Aldric got used to, but saw less and less of the longer he stayed. He counted that as progress, with his best smile. Aldric knew you still had bad days, where you’d lie on the bed and all the mirrors would turn around – humans had scarred you deep, and he didn’t like that much. Unlike everyone else, who would get angry and do something about it, you’d become a little more withdrawn; a mix of heart-break and self-hatred. He’d asked a thousand times ‘why always him’ and it wasn’t a question you could answer. ‘Why someone who caused you so much damage?’ The simple answer wasn’t one you could say out loud: that DNA coded into you was all you had left of him. The long answer would require you spilling to him all your feelings and details of your relationship that were yours to know – and would go unspoken to your grave. The best you could do was shrug; “Because I loved him. He’s just… familiar.” That was a lie too, there was no loved past tense about it. Even if Ralph had uttered that word himself. Aldric took your hand in his, with a gentle sigh: “Isn’t it amazing, over millions of years of our own race’s evolution and countless lifetimes, just how much one man has fucked you up? You’re hung up on one human and four years… in all that you’ve lived. Y/N… I’m just sorry he did this. Though as if it isn’t something typically human.” He took a breath, gathering your body to his and stroking your hair; “Well. I’m here, for now… and I won’t let them hurt you again.” Aldric was always so nice and gentle with you and just as lovely to the humans you lived around – he never talked about having problems with them, so you doubted it was all a façade. It didn’t make any sense. How can THIS man now be murdering people…!? *** Ralph wasn’t the one who woke you up when you got to your destination, Hayes was. If he was trying to make up for anything, you would call him out on it – but he wasn’t. He was just trying to be a good man – whilst simultaneously checking that his friend was treating you right. You appreciated that they were worried, they didn’t have to care about you. Only that you’d help them solve this – and you would despite Ralph’s treatment of you. Or, in spite of it. In fact they always kept at least a body between you and Ralph, and you wondered exactly who they were protecting; him or you.

It was late, but you had to strategize and figure out where he was. It wasn’t hard for you, Aldric was everywhere, so whilst the other three were trying to figure out the best and fastest way to hit him, Hayes drove you aimlessly around town. “Where you think he’ll be?” “He’s not in town – but it’s a recent move. I’m certain he based himself here.” “Will he be able to sense you?” “We’ll need a miracle…. My reason for being here could be anything. It’s the rest of you I’m worried about.” You were lying down in the back seat, trying to focus on the signals you could feel and almost taste in the air. That familiarity hurt now as much as Ralph’s did… You pushed your detective back for a minute, why won’t you stay in your godamn lane!, as Hayes took his rings around town further and further out, until you sat bolt upright. “STOP.” You were immediately on edge, too close and too soon. Like your head was spinning. “Woah, you okay!?” Hayes turned in his seat and it was plain to see the tension in your face and body, “Y/N? Is he here!?” You pointed to the map; “Are we leading anywhere?” “Uh…” He picked it up, “Yeah, there’s like an outcropping here…” Hayes jabbed it, “It looks like mountains though, and we are slightly inclining.” He handed it to you and you studied the map hard for a moment, before you traced your finger along what looked like a mountain ridge to one small black dot. “Here.” You turned to the lawyer and for once he didn’t even flinch as your eyes flickered bright silver – was that fear? “Do you have a pen?” “Yeah-!” Of course Hayes had one in his pocket, you put a ring around it and turned to him pushing the map into his chest. “He’s there.” *** Holly was the one in the car with you today, and she took your hand in hers. “You okay?” “No.” You had to be honest and she smiled, squeezing your hand, “Oh, sweetheart… This must be harder for you than anything else.” “What if I’ve always been wrong about my race?” You chewed the inside of your lip. “You’re better than we are, Y/N. Whether you’re the exception or the rule shouldn’t matter, should it, but how good you are. And after what you’ve seen from this particular community… that’s enough to twist anyone up. Yet here you are, still you.” You turned slowly to her, and couldn’t help but smile: “I could say the same for you.” She laughed, “I guess we both understand each other.” “An outsider knows an outsider.” You repeated a phrase of hers that had burned in you then, it held no less significance now. Holly squeezed your hand once more as you seemed to approach the cave entrance – your breath caught again and you tried not to let Aldric flood back: focusing just on Holly and smiling through it, “You got that right!” You slid out of the car with her, watching the guys all gear up just as fast. They would have to work quick and quiet if they were ever going to make it through this alive. You were glad everyone was wearing long sleeves: no one was taking chances. You nearly scoffed as you watched Hayes holster a pistol: “You know how to use that?” “I’m from Georgia, sweetie. Yeah, I do.” You laughed as if that had any merit to it, and Holly cleared her throat, holding a pistol out for you. You raised an eyebrow and grinned, shaking your head; “Honey, all my weapons are in built. I don’t need that.” Yune also sidled over, “And none of us want to see that in action.” “Pray you won’t need to.” “How is he?” “Quiet. If Aldric’s expecting anything he’s not tense, or angry, or frightened. I wouldn’t count on the element of surprise, just assume that he knows.” Ralph seemed to be taking an awful long time about this, and your eyes narrowed at his back, causing the others to turn to him. “Ralph?!” “Yeah, I- you guys go – We’ll bring up the rear.” “We?” “Yeah.” He pointed at you, “We. I want you at the back where I can see you.” “Why?” Although you knew it was a stupid question as soon as you said it and his face darkened, “Okay. Okay, we’ll do this your way.” Although you were loath to point out that if he was scared you were about to team up with Aldric, putting you at the back left the four of them trapped in the middle. It was more likely so Ralph could keep a gun trained on you at all times. You turned to the rest of them, “You guys go. Be careful, maybe two groups would be better, don’t do anything stupid.” They almost couldn’t believe you were agreeing with this, but nodded along – anything so as not to cause a huge argument right in the middle of the operation. They weren’t walking so fast though, clearly not wanting to completely split the group, you assumed that they would wait for you just inside the entrance. You crossed to him: “Is there gonna be a problem with you and me?” “No.” “Ralph you don’t have to lie to me.” “I told you, they might trust you, but I don’t. That’s all there is to it.” You leant against the car, looking dead in his eyes, “How do I know I can trust you?” “You don’t.” And he proved it; all too late did you realise that he’d been ready all along, and before you could stop him, your wrist was cuffed to the door handle. “RALPH!!!” “Shut up, or I really will finish what I started in that field.” He growled, hand over your mouth as you struggled. “You son of a BITCH-! They will DIE without me! What are you doing-!?” “We survived before, sweetheart.” His smile wasn’t friendly, so the pet name wasn’t either, “I don’t trust what you’ll do when you see him, I don’t trust you around him, or us. And I won’t see good people die again on account of YOUR race.” “Are you kidding?! I thought we were getting somewhere, but here come your true fucking colours again!” You pulled against the handcuffs, “Ralph! Let me go!” “No. You’re gonna stay here until we get back. And if we don’t get back, you’re gonna die here.” “What the fuck is your problem!?” He raised an eyebrow, and you realised it was another stupid question. “RALPH!” but he turned and started walking, “Shit! RALPH!!!” You tugged again, foot up against the car, to no avail and the cuff dug in. You rolled your sleeve back, wrist already showing a friction line. “You fucking asshole!” You turned back to watch him walk into the distance, “Are you SO stupid as to kill everyone on account of me-!?” When Ralph reached the group of three waiting just inside the caves, they all peered around for you and simultaneously took a deep breath to give him hell. He held a finger to his lips – knowing that what was waiting for them was far more dangerous. They didn’t need to announce their arrival any more than necessary. “I don’t trust her. Would you? We’ve seen what one of them can do, you think we can handle two of them? I don’t think we can risk it.” And the look on Ralph’s face said no protesting. “Where is she?!” Yune hissed, surprisingly looking the most pissed. Considering he’d tried to do right by you twice before Ralph had decided to screw it up. “Safe. But most certainly in handcuffs, now are we moving or what?!” They all looked to each other before begrudgingly moving on into the caves together, but Yune paused before he allowed Ralph to go any further. “You’re a fucking idiot. You know that?” “I’m doing this for the good of everyone.” Yune rolled his eyes, and muttered something in Spanish that Ralph assumed wasn’t good. “You ever think about her?! Even once?” Ralph gave him a look that shut the conversation down completely. But it couldn’t have juxtaposed the situation more; and his outward attitude was fooling everyone nicely. Of course he had; he was doing it to protect you. *** Focusing on them and their wellbeing became increasingly hard for three reasons. Ralph and your bond wasn’t the strongest, even though you had his DNA in your vein’s – as the group of four traversed deeper you started to lose him. Aldric’s own feelings were giving you unease – pretty sure that he knew you were here, if he hadn’t already he’d become aware of the presence of four human’s soon; without you protecting them you were sure it would become a massacre. And finally, you were trying to concentrate on breaking the cuffs – or the car door, whichever buckled first. Preferably the cuffs though, because hopefully you’d get to drive out of this. You had more strength than a human in you, but all that was helping with was the metal digging deep into your skin; ink blue already ran from your wrist and spotted all over the ground. If you did all die here forensics would have a field day with that. The change happened instantaneously. Aldric’s calm aura became hostile, forcing you to gasp and wheel back to the cave entrance: Guys! Why didn’t Ralph think about this? Aldric was leaving a string of murders, did they really think he would care about 4 bodies in the middle of nowhere. What about your presence; this wasn’t going to end well no matter what way you looked at it. And Ralph - Aldric knew everything about Ralph, if he attacked them your detective would be shown no mercy. You turned back to your handcuffs; “SHIT!” crying in both frustration and the pain of the cut. There was no other way to save them but by shifting completely; reverting back into the real monster they thought you were. To save them you would do anything. To save him- You closed your eyes and breathed deep, inhale, exhale; your eyes reopened to blurred and burning silver reflected back at you, human skin dissipating into something rougher and grey; elongated fingers splicing from five to four digits – this was the first time DNA separation had caused you to feel so dysmorphic. You knew the look you’d see on his face; if he rejected you now…well, hadn’t Ralph already? The metal snapped without you needing to pull as your wrists expanded – body filling out to complete mass. You stepped back, hands down; quadrupedal, and turned towards the cave entrance, sure of yourself enough to sprint towards it. They needed you NOW – or they weren’t leaving this alive. ***

Four beams of light swept in concentric patterns across the floor, walls and ceiling of the cave. It seemed darker and colder than the one they’d confronted the Outsider in. But pretty – patterns in rock cut and smoothed from millenniums of ancient water ways – the paths weren’t narrow though; it didn’t feel half as claustrophobic. There must have been openings they couldn’t see, as the air smelled clean and fresh, and every so often a soft draft would catch them from the depths of the cave. The majority of the time the four remained quiet; and Ralph assured himself that every time one of them shivered it was the cold – and not fear that he was sure all felt. The occasional verbal communication was to check everyone was close; and to agree on which direction to take – it wasn’t hard, Aldric wasn’t trying to cover his tracks. Ralph supposed he didn’t expect to be followed, or he had the confidence to know if he was found he’d just as easily kill those that stumbled on him. But three of them had come across his kind before and lived; the fourth was at least clued up. Ralph Anderson didn’t plan on dying here either. After about half an hour of careful searching they entered a larger cavernous area, much like a room, and all of them froze. To one end was a semi-circular collection of lights; all in the same UV soft white spectrum. Near to those was a heap of blankets, bundled together in organised chaos; but they were within a ring of piled up silt and dirt that covered the floor. Ralph swept his torch but saw no evidence of bones which would suggest food, hunting, more murders – you had said you didn’t need to eat; you could survive on feelings. The Outsider had and you had announced grief as unsustainable… yet Aldric was perhaps different. Able to sustain himself on something else. Aldric also wasn’t ‘a baby…’ Ralph received the feeling that he was being watched all too late, and a cold tremor ran over his body. From one of the darker corners of the room came the sound of shifting rocks, and an animalistic growl. All of them whirled around, torches gathered on two eyes – iridescent silver. “Shit-!” Ralph was the one to voice what they were all feeling as they backed up; all four of them clicked their safety’s off. “This isn’t good right?” Hayes’ comment was unhelpful, but it was Holly that came back with; “We’ve done this before. We can do it again.” Yune was the only one to glance down; “Uh, guys!” Ralph let the others call attention to whatever he’d found, he was way more concerned with training his gun on this man. Holly and Hayes did, and then gave each other the same look; the prints in the dirt were not feet or shoes, as they had been elsewhere in this cave, but four clawed and elongated. They were in more trouble than they’d realised. As Aldric stepped into the light of both their torches and the semi-circular arrangement, all Ralph could think was someone had smoothed down and elongated the limbs of a blue-grey crocodile. In this form he stood a little higher off the ground than that – and those razor-sharp teeth and talons told the whole story. He was maybe Ralph-and-a-half should he feel the need to stand on two legs; and it was already apparent by the way Aldric moved across the floor that he was deadly fast. Even though the four of them were getting pushed up into the wall, Ralph kept in front; if Aldric came for them he’d sacrifice himself so they could get a good shot or a head start out of here, whatever it took. Aldric growled again, this time as his mouth opened Ralph noticed those needle like teeth had more than one row and the only thing he could think was ‘this is how I die’. Only Aldric did draw himself up onto two legs; ‘Oh no, this is much worse!’ “Do we think guns will work in here!?” Yune was trying to focus on not making his hands shake. “Hell, maybe we’ll at least bury it under rubble!!” Holly’s voice appeared calmer than Ralph would guess she was. Both of them holding up better than the lawyer, whose face was white and Ralph was thinking Hayes regretted his demands to come along. The shifter wound up, muscles in his back legs poised to spring; Ralph’s finger moved from discipline position to his trigger, swallowing hard. They could get through this, they could… even if only three of them made it out alive. This time the creature roared, echo loud, Hayes took a further step back and connected with sharp rock. Nowhere to go. Aldric sprang. The blur of blue and grey was joined by another call. This one different to the one Aldric was emitting: like no known animal on earth. Blood – or assumedly blood – spattered across the ground as Aldric reeled back from the force of the bulkier shape. Larger, spine far more defined down the slope of its back, and not ending in a tail like Aldric did. It turned, face fairly flat, skull round, just as reptilian with the same ghostly silver, needle teeth jutting out at angles and barely containable. Compared to Aldric this creature was much better proportioned, and the power as it launched itself at him again made Ralph glad that wasn’t what they were facing. Claws ripping through Aldric’s arm once more, before the force of its leap had it skittering off in the direction of the lights. “There’s TWO of them now!?” Hayes had finally found a voice, but Yune was smiling; “Of course there’s two of them!” Ralph didn’t understand why it hadn’t clicked with him before and he turned to Yune almost in shock; “Y/N!?” By the time they all turned back, in place of the creature was something a lot more human; panting, balancing gracefully on one hand as you pushed yourself to standing. Brushing your hair back from your face, eyes still that silver, you dusted yourself off, looking to the darker spot you’d pushed Aldric to. Although no one else in the room had eyes good enough to pierce that darkness, you did, and if he went for them again you would step in. Your wrists still ached, and as you shook them out blood cascaded to the floor; what you really wished you were was self-healing. The human laugh emitted from the dark corner had the group looking from you to him and Aldric stepped out of the shadows. Picture perfect as the day he left; the man on the CCTV Holly had identified. “Y/N… I suppose I should have guessed that.” “I don’t see why. After all, I’d never have guessed you’d be out here murdering humans.” “Don’t you preach to me about their race.” Aldric stretched out, placing a hand over his arm; “Man. That smarts; you’re a little sharper than I remember.” You glared, stalking around him so you ended up in front of your friends. …ex-friends. “Why?” “I got tired of the injustices they get away with, that they’ve always got away with because of us. It was time to stand up.” You planted your feet firmly in front of them, stance strong but wide – showing him you could cover all angles. You weren’t sure you were about to accept that as an excuse; you knew the pain he was talking about and you’d never gone there. Aldric merely scoffed; “Really? You would defend them after what they did to you-!? After what this particular man did to you-?!” You held your nerve, not rising to the bait. Ralph Anderson felt four pairs of eyes on him and at least two of them held a degree of hatred, he shuffled uncomfortably for a second, glad he couldn’t see your face. You opted instead for: “I thought I KNEW you-!!! You’re killing people-!? That makes you no better than the shifter that caused all this-!! For godsake Aldric, we have a child!” You stopped yourself from going any further, eyes pulling from his face momentarily as you frowned; what a human thing to say. Aldric wouldn’t give his angle up, and smirked pointedly: “Oh, we all have our weaknesses, darling.” Your eyes widened, for a second your silver was shot with red at the blind anger that overtook you. You hated him for that, for insinuating that Ralph was yours… the problem was Aldric was right, and he knew it. You were defending the man that had intended to kill you, twice, over the one that had cared for you – maybe even loved you for almost as many years. Ralph would never understand you even if he tried and Aldric was the only one who did… Yet here you were, because you just could not let Detective Anderson go. And you would rather die than lose him. “I want real answers Aldric. Even you must know that there’s only two ways this ends.” “As long as both end with him dead, I’ll take my chances.” Jealousy?! Was that it? After all this time…? Aldric looked like he regretted saying it and cleared his throat, “Don’t you ever get tired, Y/N? Of defending everything they do? It’s not just us, it’s the world, every creature will be driven to extinction by the end of this, just like they tried to do to us. With what consequence? We kill a few of them and we’re the ones that end up hunted to our demise in caves.” “It’s murder.” You knew that feeling, you’d felt it many a time but you had never let it consume you, and Aldric had finally let all his hatred take over. “It’s justice. It’s less than they deserve. And I know you see that.” “If we let you go, you’ll just do it again.” “Well then you have a choice to make, Y/N, because I’ll start with your detective’s friends, just so he can watch, and then I’ll end with him. And if I have to go through you, then I’ll make sure you get to see me kill him. Don’t worry, I’ll go slow – make a spectacle. But really I’d rather you didn’t make me kill a member of my own race.” “Stop it.” “You think I won’t go through with this!?” His talons were already elongating and you swallowed hard – there was no choice, you were standing here because you’d already made it. “Y/N…” Holly tried once, but you shook your head. “Go.” “What?!” “All of you get out of here.” You too entered that between transition: not human, not monster. “Y/N, We’re not leaving you.” Yune didn’t seem like the type to make such a stupid comment, but here he was. “If you don’t leave, you will get caught up in this and you will die. I’m not prepared to take any kind of risk. GO!” Now your voice fluctuated into more of a growl. “As soon as I’m done with you, I’m dragging your detective back here screaming and begging for his life.” Aldric’s eyes were hard. He was glaring through you at Ralph, who was urging the others to leave, and quickly. “You’re not going to fucking touch him.” You heard them shuffle away, catching them in your peripheral, Ralph last. He stilled for a minute and turned back to catch your eye. You gave him five seconds of satisfaction and locked with him – Ralph opened his mouth; you had no idea what to say. If it would even be of consequence, if it would be what you so desperately wanted. Or just good luck, will you be okay, do you want help, do you need this gun? Whatever it was neither of you had time for, and you gave a slight shake of your head. This time his face changed, not stoic, not mad at you, but startlingly apologetic. I’m sorry - two words he’d never got to say, before Ralph backed up, and faded into darkness. You turned back to Aldric, who had been privy to the whole exchange. “Un-fucking-belivable. You still love him.” “You said it yourself, we all have our weaknesses.” You couldn’t deny it. Aldric sneered: “I mean it, when I have you close enough to death to be immobilised, I’ll kill the other three – perhaps even mercifully. Then I will drag his body back in here and it will give me no greater pleasure than to gut him in front of you.” Then he smiled, and it was frightening, wild, one you might expect out of such a killer. “Heck, maybe I’ll even eat this one.” It was the last thing he said before you saw red, and lunged for him. ***

Once outside the group of four weren’t about to admit how in over their heads they were. Scrambling to set up behind cars, weapons trained on the cave entrance. “That was crazy.” Holly was the only one who thought about talking, “You think the one in Tennessee could do that!?” “Maybe…” Yune’s arm twinged at the thought of that particular shootout; “But clearly a lot slower… Ralph!” Detective Anderson by this time was back by his own car; handcuffs in bits, but the blue that covered the floor had him more concerned, and he shifted the dirt around to cover it up. “I’m coming-! Just let me get rid of her DNA…” The other three exchanged looks; now he cares? Or did he always care? Ralph pulled open his trunk and gathered spare guns, before settling with them behind the car. “How long do you think it’ll take?” “We have no way of knowing. They looked so different… But I’m thinking those scratches she gave him were nothing more than grazes. Warnings…” Holly mused, hand over her heart – it was beating far too fast, “It could be a while.” “Maybe we’ll lose both.” Yune’s muse was sad, and he hoped against hope that wouldn’t happen. He still wasn’t prepared to count you amongst them, even when you were one. Hayes’ eyes had hardly left the cave mouth; “Have we considered what happens if the wrong one makes it?” “Give it hell.” Ralph voice nearly shook with anger, and Holly and Yune once again raised eyebrows. Seemed Ralph Anderson wasn’t about to hide his feelings anymore. “…We can’t let it get out of here.” “Especially not if it’s killed her, right?” Yune looked across to him, almost smirking. Ralph didn’t verbally respond, but the nod was enough. It wasn’t long before they were met with a shuffling sound, and the scattering of rocks as they were kicked out of the way by tired feet. “That’s two legs, right?” “With the echo it’s hard to tell.” Holly and Yune listened harder; half minded to throw the safety on. But they both knew that your race could be tricksy; there was no way they could risk that move. “It sounds hurt.” Hayes’ mouth pressed into a thin line, “Let’s just hope we want to help it!” Sure enough eventually it was you that hobbled into view; though in the state you were in it really could have been anyone. Covered in red and blue blood from head to foot you were clutching your right arm, which seemed to be hanging fairly uselessly by your side, and you were certainly limping. Honestly, between the four of them it was hard to tell who was the most overjoyed – despite the initial reaction of horror at your presentation, they were all grateful to see you standing there. The way you felt could not be more different. There wasn’t a part of you that didn’t hurt, physically and emotionally. At this point there probably wasn’t much of you that wasn’t bleeding. And despite the fact that walking back to the entrance all you could think was ‘He had it coming. He brought it upon himself. He’d kill your friends if you’d have let him go. He’d have done WORSE’. You still lamented at having to kill yet another shapeshifter just to protect them. They were good people, and he was a murderer that much was true; but it was affecting you deeply. Aldric and you had created a life together – and your heart was broken. Yet another one of an ancient species struck from existence – maybe you were all too dangerous to be kept alive… Even when you were trying to do good. Your eyes were still shining in silver, but part of that could have been accented by the blur of tears. Ralph Anderson had never felt like a bigger fucking idiot. For a moment you had never looked more stunning or beautiful, even though you were injured, limping, covered in blood and still seemed like a threat – more than one shifter tell still in play. Therefore Ralph was the first one to move from behind the car, running across the path to you. The movement itself spiked your adrenaline, body throwing you into a defensive stance as he slowed to a stop beside you. Your eyes were hard and cold: somehow you were also scarier than any time he’d previously seen you like this. The power in you to still be standing right now; how many years and lives you’d lived to be here right now, with him. Just human. Flesh and blood and bone and nothing all that special compared to what was in front of him. You’d given him your heart and he’d never really returned it. Ralph got the feeling you’d never wanted it back. You stood for a few seconds, feeling like far longer, staring at each other. It felt like you were between saying something snarky to him, or half expecting him to shoot one of his many you’re not human phrases at you. He wanted to, of course he did, but not for any reason you’d think. Instead neither happened, and Ralph grabbed you, one hand into your hair and one on the small of your back, his lips crashed onto yours. You made one small noise of surprise and complaint, before you pushed through the pain; closing your eyes and letting tears run. Just about able to tangle your left hand in his jacket as he supported your body. The (arguably) best four years of your life flooded your head immediately. It had been so long that his kiss felt foreign, even though it was so familiar. How many times had you relived this… wished for this in your head? Granted, this was never exactly how it happened – but then in your wildest dreams you weren’t sure you’d ever expected it to happen. Ralph didn’t care that there was blood all over you, that all he could taste was metallic, a little too much iron, flavours he’d never tasted in his life – he’d attribute that to your non-human DNA – he needed that kiss. YOU needed that kiss. He loved you. He loved you so much, he always had. It had prevented him from pulling the trigger twice – but it was also why he had so much anger and felt so much heartbreak. Why he was so glad that you were here right now. He broke the kiss slow and delicate, so as not to hurt you anymore, but didn’t exactly pull back; his forehead against yours as you opened your eyes. Ralph was crying, and you knew why, you knew exactly where this was going and you’d let him say what he thought he had to. “I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry… Y/N… I… I don’t know how you’re ever going to forgive me. And Geez, if you never do then I get it. I don’t deserve you to, but I…” he shook his head “I never stopped loving you. I didn’t. I don’t know if I hated you because of that, or… because what I’d caused to happen. I’m not worthy of your forgiveness either, but- I’m sorry… I just… I’m so sorry.” You did pull slightly away from him, eyes returning to a far more natural colour as you studied Ralph hard. There was a lot you had to say; certainly nothing that could be fixed with the words or kisses that spilled from his lips. Ralph Anderson would, in time, earn your trust back. But he’d never lose your love – and he knew that, somewhere in his heart he knew that. You sighed; “Don’t you think it’s a little too late for sorry?” You shook your head, but as you stilled, you smiled: “I forgive you...” “C-Can we go home? C-can we start over?” “Home?” You tilted your head, “You may take me back to Cherokee City. But as for your other request, I’d quite like to pick up where we left off, Ralph Anderson.” “I…I think I can do that.” “Wait- I have a request of my own.” You took those steps back into his body. “Yes?” “Kiss me, again?” You nearly got a laugh out of him, and you would take it, as his arms wound around you again and you felt his lips back on yours. Your relationship would have to heal, but would probably take a little less time to do so than your body would. There would be a lot of learning to be done; but you could both do it. You could both fix your mistakes. There was a light at the end of that tunnel and you could walk through this together. In all your lifetimes, every lover that had come and gone no matter how long or short, you’d known as soon as you met him that there would never be another Ralph Anderson. And you were right. But there was no one else’s hand you would rather be holding down this road. And you couldn’t wait to live the rest of his life with him.

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I know this one is a big one but thank you SO much for reading it!🙊💕 It really does mean the world to me, and if you can give this series some love I’d really appreciate it, I do feel like this is some of my best writing...

You guys are so great! Thank you for sticking with me!

#Ralph Anderson #The Outsider #The Outsider HBO #Ben Mendelsohn #HBOs the Outsider #Ralph Anderson x Reader #Shifter!Reader #Ralph Anderson x Shifter!Reader #All of these are going on my side blog too #Dia #180 #I think they'll probably graduate onto AO3 too its just too good a premise to leave here #I'm sad to finish them but I'm also thinking it's worth a quick 4th follow up #LITERALLY every emotion Ralph Anderson feels in this fic is in that first gif!#K.W.S.H is clearly /Kenneth William Samuel Hayes/ if you thought I wasn't getting that in ;)#Also my favourite line is probably /I'm from Georgia sweetie. Of course I do/#Team 10K #Its better not to think about what may happen to clothes when they shift...#im just gonna say it - I love Aldric. A lot.#If I had any drawing skills at all I'd draw him and Dia together... buuut I don't!#So if I had an editor they'd probably tell me to cut Hayes completely. And i'd understand that...#...BUT I JUST wanted him to have a decent Arc like he did in the book! So here he is!#(Also like I say - he has my favourite line so...!)#Aldric & Dia's adventures... coming... soon? Maybe?

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years ago

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Control - Ralph Anderson x Shifter!Reader 2 (The Outsider)

Sequel to Halfway Home

@mandy23b @wltz-bby @happyskywhale #mendotagsquad

Author’s Note: This song, this damn song, oh my god. I confess I hadn’t listened to any Halsey at all (besides a couple of collabs with other artists I like) until I was music swapping with @mandy23b... But I honestly don’t think I’ve loved an album this much lyrically in a very long time! Anyway, a second part was always in the works. This song for sure inspired the finish of it.

Thank you @mendelskrull and @crawlingmist I really REALLY hope the sequel was worth the wait 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Control - Halsey

Disclaimer: gif not mine / lyrics not mine / The Outsider & all associated characters not my property!

I wrote this before I read ‘If It Bleeds’ but I see the immediate eerie similarities in my Shifter species. I think I might cover it off in the finale...

Premise: After a particularly erratic encounter with Ralph Anderson, you wait on your fate... can you trust the Detective to make the right choice? Can he trust you, at all?

Words: 5737

Warnings: Swearing

⚠ Major Angst/Hurt Caution Warning (Again) ⚠

_____

They send me away to find them a fortune A chest filled with diamonds and gold The house was awake, the shadows and monsters The hallways, they echoed and groaned

I sat alone, in bed till the morning I'm crying, "They're coming for me" And I tried to hold these secrets inside me My mind's like a deadly disease

I paced around for hours on empty I jumped at the slightest of sounds And I couldn't stand the person inside me I turned all the mirrors around

I'm bigger than my body I'm colder than this home I'm meaner than my demons I'm bigger than these bones

And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me" I can't help this awful energy God damn right, you should be scared of me Who is in control?

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Your first visitor the following morning surprised you. You thought Ralph might just have blanket banned the entire city from seeing you, but apparently some just wanted to break the rules. DA Kenneth Hayes stood hesitantly in the doorway watching you, clutching papers close to his chest – and you were inquisitive enough to wonder if he was about to serve you, or, you were going to be dragged into a questioning room. You sat yourself straight against the wall and folded your arms; “What will it be Hayes?” He jumped, and for a moment you thought you’d get a good laugh out of the papers scattering – no such luck though. “Detective Anderson has already appeared to have considered the full 48 hours. I just hoped as the DA you’d be able to shed a little light on the subject.” He was staring at you like he couldn’t believe you were talking, like an animal had suddenly found a human voice. You weren’t in the mood; “Look if you can’t tell me anything-” “Ralph told us to stay away from you.” “Then why are you here?” You realised how exasperated you sounded, but you hardly cared. “Are you… are you really…?” It was obvious that Hayes couldn’t bear to even voice it. “Yes. I am what he says I am. No, I didn’t have a hand in anything that happened here…” You tilted your head, “I don’t see why it has much consequence to you. They didn’t even tell you.” “But I know now.” You sighed; “Hayes just put me out of my misery, what’s the big plan!? I know I’m behind bars but I’m not an animal in a zoo.” Your eyes flashed, and it caused him to step back, truth was you were no longer trying to hide it, and they could all blame Ralph for that. “Least you could do is stop gawking at me like I’m about to spring into some kind of murderous, child-killing rampage, or change form.” He swallowed, “Ralph has it all planned out and I trust him.” “You know he put a gun to my head yesterday, right?” “I’m aware.” “Sounds like intent to me.” You scoffed, “I suppose to you I wouldn’t come under the remit of human rights, huh?” The way your eyes were burning an odd iridescent silver, and emitting light the way they were, made Hayes even more uneasy than just the thought of you really being a Shapeshifter, and he backed away – heart racing, “Good day, Y/N.” You shook your head after him with a roll of your eyes – Humans had always been so typical. Part of you wished for the days of old, when your kind was fascinating, mystifying and worshiped – and you could all coexist. Before humans, as they did, got ideas beyond their station. Now you were still revered, but not for being so unusual – for the thought alone that you could threaten their existence. People like Kenneth Hayes would brush this off as a bad dream and would never allow it to be mentioned or lingered on again, even if it was witnessed. Ralph would never forget – and it would scar him deep; that was without the added heartbreak of you. You were the final nail in the coffin for your beloved detective. You were sitting against the bars with your eyes closed the next time someone joined you. And you were immediately suspicious by the level of calm they issued – for one, you weren’t even in the mood to have visitors now. Ralph hadn’t come by, and by now you were thinking of refusing an apology if he even offered one. “Go away.” You groaned softly, “I don’t need you all staring at me like I’m some form of entertainment.” There was a tap against the bars and you cracked your eye open, greeted by a disposable coffee cup; “I’d rather make sure you were okay.” You took the cup from Detective Sablo, “Why? You were in Tennessee too. Your best friend know you’re doing this?” Yune sighed as he crossed the room to sit on the bench opposite your cell; “He’s not my best friend.” “Yeah he is…” You took a sip, and hummed in gratitude; he’d remembered your coffee order. Yune smiled gently; “I’m not afraid of you.” “You should be. He is.” “He loves you.” “Loved. I think you’ll find.” And you’d not forget that soon enough, your heart still greeted you with a sharp pain in remembrance. “Ralph’ll come around.” You indicated to the cell that you were stuck in, and it made him grimace, “Okay, I know. It’ll be a long time…” He ran his hands through his hair, “But I believe in the two of you – Look, Y/N, I want all of us to get out of this… I’ll talk to him; we’ll get you out of here. I promise.” “I’m not sure he wants to see me.” You took a few gulps of coffee, “At least not alive.” “Ralph’s not like that, you know he’s not like that.” You finished the cup and placed it outside of the cell for him to collect. “Yune, answer me one question.” He nodded, ready for it, and you breathed, “Who killed the Shifter in Tennessee?” “…I think it was a joint effort.” “Answer the question.” “I wasn’t there-” “Yune!” He had to realise that skipping around it was just as bad as what you knew the answer was. He swallowed hard, and couldn’t meet your eyes, “Ralph did.” You gave him a pointed look; which made his statement all but useless, “RALPH did.” *** Surprisingly Ralph Anderson did make his way down to you. You thought he might leave it the full two days and deal with you when he had to let you go, or when Hayes had figured out something that would lead to you spending a lot of time in prison. Maybe they’d even work out a way to pin the death penalty on you. You wondered if it’d work – but you weren’t sure you wanted to be the test subject. Or maybe he’d found a lab somewhere that was going to take you in – despite the fact that he’d spent the later part of his threats yesterday telling you that he’d rather no one knew you existed. You were back to lying on your bed and studying yourself with a depth of self-hatred – that this was something you’d chosen for yourself. That if Ralph Anderson came face to face with the real you, he probably wouldn’t have hesitated with pulling that trigger. That the blood flowing through your veins looked like the ink Ralph would make notes with in every interview he’d ever conducted, otherworldly, ethereal… dark and cold – rather than the rich red that could be associated with such emotions as anger, love and passion. The kind of emotions that were easy to feed on – your preference was love. Love was strong, and it only got stronger, and even when it wasn’t some kind of all raging passion when two people were all over each other, it was still there. And if you could surround yourself with couples (particularly those that had been in love a long time) you were at your happiest; and also your strongest. You supposed your Cherokee City counterpart had the same edge, but for fear, anger and total chaos. You could eat like a human, but you could sustain yourself on emotion alone. If he’d chosen a better path, he would have been able to as well – but he had to cause the pain he fed on. Which is why he had to move so frequently. After all, you couldn’t keep those close that you made angry or fearful of you – let alone if they died. But if someone loved you, if someone really loved you, you could live the rest of your life on them alone. You’d spent the best four years of your life living on his. But that was not the emotion that overtook Ralph Anderson’s body as he entered the room. It never would be again. You turned your head to him, and were met with that icy steel blue; calmer than last night, which you were glad of – you didn’t want to have to face that erratic anger again. But it hurt you; because your heart stirred just to see his face, and you had to push all of that back once more. He kept track of your every movement, but said nothing. When Ralph was satisfied, he opened the door; “Out.” You raised yourself, “What, they didn’t give you the full 48?” His eyes narrowed slightly; “I said out.” You stood and he unlatched the handcuffs from his belt “Hands front.” You raised an eyebrow in questioning but did as he asked. This was even more painful for Ralph – half of him felt terrible for going so out of control yesterday; half of him knew he was face to face with a monster, a woman who had lied to him for four years and broken his heart. He wasn’t about to apologise – and didn’t think you were either. He still kept his eyes on you as he picked up the bag, hating the fact that you were wearing one of his favourite shirts – he should never have given you that. But Ralph didn’t want any of your things in the house. He pulled himself upright to full height – you took half a step back, still not sure of exactly what he would do to you. You didn’t think Ralph knew himself. “Lets go.” He pulled you out of the cell and down the corridor – Ralph wasn’t about to tell you where of course, and it left you wondering if you were about to be met by a lawyer and a judge, and the same kind of water tight evidence that Terry Maitland had been. You supposed to the humans here your race deserved nothing less. And perhaps they were right. Humanity had never scared you; even when it had driven your race to hiding – you’d grown up around them, and you’d blended well. But humans had become the kind of scary stories told to children that ‘monsters’ were to them. Ralph’s reaction was simply proving every one of those stories true. When he pulled you back to the elevators you wondered if this was about to be Terry and the courthouse part II. Crowds of hundreds wanting a glimpse of a terrifying creature, and a few well aimed shots… “Stop it.” He growled, although he refused to look at you – talking to him was only going to make it worse, but upon flicking your eyes to the elevator doors you realised that all the thoughts in your head were causing your eyes to burn silver again. You blinked a couple of times and they returned to their ‘natural’ colour. Ralph gripped you tighter as he pushed you in, and as you found yourself in the parking lot, you were surprised to see there wasn’t a soul in sight. That only made you turn to him; “Where are we going?” He ignored you, pulling him along to his car and opening the back door – your stare was defiant and this time you demanded it, “WHERE are we going!?” “Get. In. The. Car.” Ralph’s voice shook with every syllable and you knew he was dangerously close to losing it with you again. He also probably didn’t like that you weren’t about to just let him order you around here, you’d always had a little bit of push about you – it was an aspect of your personality he really liked, especially when you were snarking someone he didn’t. Right now, Ralph didn’t need or want it – he just wanted you to get in the car so that he could do what he must. You only conceded because you weren’t sure you wanted that stalemate to end with getting shot – a little too aware of the pistol on his utility belt. He slammed the door on you and took a deep breath; it wouldn’t take much – he’d done it before. If he could keep a clear head, he could do it again – Ralph could finish this easily. All he had to do was get through this. *** You realised very quickly that you were heading for the city limits and sat up, twisting around in your seat. No court case? No going back home? You knew where the jail was and he certainly wasn’t heading that way. What was he doing? You bit your lip, knowing it couldn’t be good. Wondering if Ralph was numb to it all, or was simply that good at controlling his emotional output. It scared you that you weren’t sure of the answer. And suddenly you wished you didn’t know the answer to the question you’d asked Yune; one tear leaked and you rubbed your cheek on your shoulder to hide it, heck, now you wished you’d never asked that question in the first place. When Ralph finally stopped the car you weren’t sure ‘middle of nowhere’ covered it. You weren’t even sure what you were supposed to feel – and he’d been off-roading for so long he might well have been lost. Maybe Ralph Anderson wanted to get lost. It occurred to you that he might not want to be found out here; maybe he’d take that pistol and kill you before turning it on himself. Ralph didn’t seem like the type, but you felt perhaps now you’d seen him at his worst (what else would you call the previous evening), maybe he was… maybe he could do something that devastating. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel for a long time before he decisively shut the engine off – gathering his radio, cell phone, and gun, Ralph hopped from the car and pocketed all items before opening the back and dragging you out. Ralph marched you a little way from the vehicle and stood you roughly in the grassland before growling at you to stay still, and walking back towards the car. He stopped, maybe 10 paces from you and turned back. You blinked, but no emotions crossed your face. That only made him angrier, but Ralph wasn’t sure what he wanted to see out of you – blind rage and anger that would prove to him you really were the monster underneath your guise? Tears streaming down your face and begging him for mercy – as you rightly should be, after everything that had gone down in the past few months, after what you’d done to him for years. Maybe even controlled acceptance of your situation, that it had to end this way and you were alright with that. But there was nothing; not even that shiver inducing silver in your eyes. The silence eschewed and you found yourself looking around, fields and farmland to one side rolling for miles into hills, and a forest in the distance on the other – too far to think that even with your decent sprinting you could get into cover before he put a bullet in your body. Maybe if you weren’t human, but you weren’t about to give Ralph Anderson the satisfaction of seeing your true form. You looked back to him and took a step; “Look, whatever you’re gonna do… Will you just do it already.” The pistol was drawn immediately; “NOT another step.” “You’re really gonna use it this time-!?” You couldn’t help your cold laugh; “I swear to God Ralph Anderson, if you have it in you, it better be a good fucking shot.” If he wasn’t about to keep the venom out of his voice then neither would you. Ralph just shook his head. Paying more attention to his gun than you, he checked everything was in working order; “How could you do this-!? Do you not even think about what you’re doing to the person you’re with-!? How utterly selfish it is to play someone like that?” You flinched, pulling back a few paces – the metal of your restraints cutting into your wrists. What right did he have to ask you something like that? “Look at me, Ralph Anderson.” He didn’t. And this time you weren’t sure if you were crying from anger or because it was hurting you so much and you were just letting it; “RALPH! LOOK AT ME!” You yelled it, “Look me in the eye and tell me that even without the Frankie Peterson case, if I’d have told you what I was then you wouldn’t have reacted in exactly the same way-!” He raised his blue eyes to you, and he didn’t have to answer, the guilt was already there. “Tell me the second I said shapeshifter you wouldn’t have thought me insane – that the second I’d have shifted into someone else to show you, you wouldn’t have cast me out as a freak and wanted to use your damn pistol on me anyway.” “You could have HELPED the case!” “It’s NOT the case-! Stop pretending it’s the case! If you knew what I really was Ralph, you’d run 1000 fucking miles and not look back and you know it. The case!?” You looked around you again and now he could clearly see the tears running, “The case has put me in a field in handcuffs waiting for the man I love to kill me.” “NO. Don’t!” He held his hand up, “Don’t tell me you love me. You gave up that right.” “Then for Godsake Ralph,” you presented your body to him, “Just get it over with because I can’t take this.” your eyes narrowed, flickering again, “But don’t you dare presume to tell me that I can’t love you.” That was decisive enough and he swept his pistol up to aim for your head; yet Ralph knew he was thinking too much. He just wasn’t sure what the right thing to do was – wasn’t killing you just as bad as murdering someone? Sure, he’d killed one of you in Tennessee – but you weren’t an evil murdering entity (as far as he knew). You were you. And what Ralph would have to accept was that even if you were a monster, he couldn’t end your life without killing a part of himself. You watched all of this cross his face, even though his look maintained the utter hatred and disgust for what you really were, and you were soon yelling at him again; “Oh, why don’t you just aim for my heart—!!!!” He gritted his teeth; “Because that won’t work!” Hadn’t your counterpart taken a shot gun and a knife to the chest before he’d crushed its head with a rock? How many bullets would you take? Could he count on it being a one and done? You gave a shrug, wondering if there was just enough love in Ralph left for you to somehow talk him out of it, “For him maybe-! For me who knows-!” You focused acutely on his body, you knew that DNA so well by now; you could feel Ralph Anderson coursing through your veins even when he wasn’t a part of you. His breath was small, but still significant – the safety gave a click, and you realised this was the time to be anything that you could be but scared. Even if your fear was driving you to this. You didn’t really want to die, after all. You hadn’t come all this way in so many lifetimes for a Cherokee City detective to end your life in the middle of nowhere. “If shooting me is so easy for you, do it Ralph. But I should show you what you’ll do to yourself-!” Ralph would have asked you what the hell you meant. Ralph would have asked a million questions that he never got the chance too; because real fear finally flickered across his face, and his body became rooted to the spot, eyes wide. One second he’d been staring at you, defiant even in the face of your own death by his hand – until your eyes illuminated once more; but instead of it just stopping there, your whole body seemed to shimmer out of focus and pixelate. It clearly didn’t take you months to shapeshift into someone else – because now Ralph Anderson was standing face to face with himself. And if it wasn’t for the fact that your eyes were still a gentle silver colour (always the last thing to accurately render), it would have been just like looking in a mirror. Instead Ralph got chills; he’d seen a lot, he would admit to that much, but he’d never seen anything as unnerving as this. He had no choice than to immediately look away from you, hand over his mouth, for fear of throwing up over all this once again. Your eyes narrowed and you tipped your head to follow his movement – he better not think he was getting away with that. Unfortunately, your straining on the cuffs still didn’t cause them to break, and you could already feel the likelihood of leaving Ralph’s DNA in the middle of the field as pretty high, considering how raw your wrists now looked. “Look at me.” Oh, that was much worse. The shudder that coursed through Ralph’s body must have been visible – his voice coming from you; well him, but- It wasn’t him. He shook his head continuously. This was too much. This was way too much and Ralph was suddenly aware of how in over his head he was. He should have brought back-up. He should have listened to his friends. Ralph Anderson suddenly realised just how alone he was out here; and finally comprehended just what was in front of him. “LOOK AT ME!” This time you screamed it, repeatedly, admitting to yourself that there was a certain power that came with being in someone else’s body whilst also facing said person. And it’d never felt so good as this moment. Eventually Ralph Anderson did – but you could feel him when you were like this – and if anything, he was only looking at you because he wanted it to stop. He straightened; the pistol was still very much in play but lowered and hesitant, still you didn’t trust him not to take out your knee at the way he was holding it, and that finger was still hovering on the trigger. “What is wrong with you?” You continued, wondering if he might even listen to himself, “I can tell you what I think is wrong with you, Ralph Anderson, and you can hate me for it all you want – but I think it’s about time someone told you the truth.” You took a step and the pistol raised a little higher; “You have survivors guilt for whatever the hell happened in Tennessee, you feel guilty about everything that happened to Terry; from the way you arrested him to the way he died, guilt that you’ve left the Maitland family in the state it’s in and two girls without a father, guilt for the Peterson family because they’re all gone now – not forgetting the fact you shot Ollie. You think you’ve got off lightly with therapy sessions. For the record, I think he’s a God awful therapist and I get the feeling you don’t hold him in regard much higher than I.” You took a breath, “You feel guilty about everything that happened on this case, and every other fucking person that suffered at the hands of that shapeshifter and everything it ever touched.” You pointed to yourself… or… himself. “But I am NOT it, Ralph!! I didn’t do ANY of that. And you’re still here! You’re still alive and you’re still breathing! And you have friends and people who LOVE you!!!” You shook your head, suddenly a picture-perfect image of the man who’d been on the other side of your cell yesterday; “Face yourself—!! Face the person YOU are-!! How hard can it be!?” You couldn’t place your fingers exactly on the look on has face, it was such a distinct form of fear. No-one in the world should have to face themselves in such a way as this; and you could see it, Ralph Anderson was terrified of you. And you acknowledged that with a twisted smile; “Yeah. You’re damn right! You should be scared of me.” But it wasn’t just you, was it, that’s what you were getting at; “Scared of ME and yourself – at the man you can become!”

By this time Ralph was shaking, his hands were trembling and all he needed was one shot. Perhaps that was the point – was that what you were saying? By ending you, he might finally have peace? Or were you saying that’s what he thought he could have and it wouldn’t be that way? That he should face everything he’d done… that he thought he might have done, even when he hadn’t, and feel better. You didn’t want to die, but if he was going to do it the only thing you wanted right now was Ralph Anderson to be free from everything that haunted him. Even when you’re pointing a gun at my head I still fucking love you… But the shakes became sobs, and even Ralph knew he couldn’t hold that gun steady enough to take a clean shot. His vision blurred as tears ran; “God dammit-!” The pistol left his hands, settling in the grass – and Ralph’s hands went back to his face, trying to wipe those tears away as if you hadn’t been staring at him long enough to see them. Knowing it was over, you shimmered back to yourself, and although you wanted nothing more than to run over to him and hold him close to reassure him – the situation still had you standing calmly in the spot that he had placed you – waiting for Ralph to free you himself. Your detective crossed the grass to you, tears still staining his face, and again you found yourself wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold him close. You weren’t sure you’d like the result of that one – he had pointed a gun to your head and been seconds from pulling the trigger. Twice. In two days. Even though his hands were still trembling as he pulled yours towards him, he managed to unlock the cuffs with ease. “R-Ralph-” “Go. GO-!” He wiped his eyes again, nudging you away from him; resolve completely done. And you had a terrible feeling that Ralph Anderson was more broken than he’d ever been before. You shook your head, closing the gap again and trying to get him to look at you; “You don’t mean that…” You whispered gently, glad that he didn’t put away when you placed your hand delicately on his arm, “…You don’t.” “I do.” If there was ever a time to let him know that no matter your race you were still you, it was now. Maybe he expected the monster to run for its life. The woman who loved him would stay. “Tell me, Ralph Anderson. Tell me you want me to go. Right now. Say those words. That full sentence.” He was still determined not to let his eyes meet your face; “I want… I want….” But his body was still shaking; and his lip quivered. Ralph didn’t finish his sentence before he was sobbing again. “You can ask me to stay. Ralph. We can go back. I know this is going to take time, maybe a lot of time… but we ca-” “No. We can’t.” He shook his head, “I won’t.” Your face fell as he held out his car keys, “Take it. Take the car and go - I don’t care where, anywhere - just not Cherokee City. Not back to me.” “Ralph…” Your disbelief was more than evident, after all, you hadn’t done anything wrong and yet realised you were the one begging for his forgiveness now; “…Why? What about you?!” “Yune can pick me up. Look TAKE them!” He closed your hands around the keys and stepped away from you again, “Leave-! I’m letting you go, God dammit just GO!” “NO!” You shook your head again, “Why won’t you let us fix this? We can make this work! You know we can!” “BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE!” You were forced into a stunned silence, and your eyes couldn’t help but burn again. If you expected anything from him, it wasn’t that. You opened your mouth, but suddenly found it hard to form words. “I DON’T EVER WANT TO EVEN SEE YOU AGAIN-!!! BUT I CAN’T EVEN KILL YOU – I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO KILL YOU, AND WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME!?” Ralph ran his hands through his hair, and suddenly that strange crazy energy he’d given off the evening before was back – but a hell of a lot more erratic. “R…Ra…Ralph.” You weren’t sure it was something you could reason with; and he snapped, just to prove you right; “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! FUCKING GO!” His advance on you made you stagger back, and this time the fear that ran across your face was something he’d never seen before. It unnerved him but he couldn’t stop now; “LEAVE! NO ONE IN CHEROKEE CITY WANTS YOU AROUND ANYWAY!” That was just a little too much, there was a knife already through your heart, he didn’t have to twist it. You were staring at a man you’d loved for four years, and you didn’t recognise him at all. ‘Oh my god, who… who is this man?’ The pain was unbearable, and you didn’t want to cry – you couldn’t show him he was upsetting you; but Ralph Anderson probably already knew exactly what he was doing. You shook your head, continuing to walk backwards towards the car – staring at him hard, even if you couldn’t hate him you could still let him know how angry you were. And you’d show him your anger before you let him upset you. ‘Human beings, all the same… I should just have listened…’ Throughout history when weren’t you told to never get involved with one? Lifespan was the least of the worries at the top of any other shapeshifters list; but you’d always been fascinated – and their biggest advocates. They were afraid and they had to drive you to this point, that always made sense – but they were fragile, and emotional, and they could love in ways so unconditional that you’d never seen another species replicate. Yet here you were, and the one you’d wanted to spend the rest of his life with was doing this. And Ralph Anderson was one of the good ones. “You have it wrong, Ralph Anderson. So fucking wrong. You think you don’t know me... but really, it’s me that doesn’t know YOU.” You didn’t turn as you kept backing towards his car, “How can you – YOU – prove my race so fucking right!?” You opened the door, still glaring at him, you wanted to say it, you wanted to tell him that you couldn’t believe you’d ever loved him. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t even bring yourself to pretend you felt that. Because even now when he was breaking your heart – you’d never loved a person as much as you had him. And you knew you didn’t know where you’d go from here – but you knew you’d carry that feeling with you for the rest of your life. There would never be another Ralph Anderson. You stopped looking at him, slamming the door shut, belting yourself in and starting the engine, throwing it into gear. You paused with a deep breath and allowed yourself one last glance at him. Standing there in the middle of a field alone watching you leave. Take a good hard look, Y/N, because you will never see this man again… You peeled your eyes away with an exhale, and closed them, counting to 10 before you pushed your foot to the pedal and the car began moving. But now you were stuck with eerie silence, and the echoes of his voice in your head – the remnants of his DNA in your veins. You knew Ralph would never let you go, but right now you couldn’t handle that. And suddenly realising how alone in the world you were, you had to pull over to the side. Tears were running before you’d even slowed to a stop, you buried your face in your arms against the steering wheel and all you could do was let out huge, shaking sobs. God damn you, Ralph Anderson… Why?! *** 9 Months Later…

You’d watched him for a little while, sitting in that little corner coffee shop. You would call him new in town; only you’d seen him a few times whilst running around. He drew you in in a similar way to the detective whose face you wore a little more often than you’d care to admit. Ralph’s body made you feel safe when you were alone, especially at night – he was familiar, his voice was familiar. Comfortable. Yet, with Ralph you could torture yourself for everything you’d ever done – and you were no longer content with looking at your own form. This man was gone because of you. Still, there was something about the one you were watching that you couldn’t quite put your fingers on… You tapped your stirrer against the top of your cup and bit your lip gently – never a fan of making the same mistake twice. But you knew that aura well, and he wasn’t human. Which was why you were sitting here and you looked like you again. Even though you couldn’t let him go; it was still Ralph’s shirt you were wearing, it was still his car you were driving, it was still him that you cried over every night. That didn’t mean that the man now turning from the counter with his coffee didn’t intrigue you enough to try it; had you found one just like you? His eyes met yours, and that silver flashed. And this time you couldn’t help but smile, using exactly the same tell on him. He wasn’t expecting it, and immediately froze, despite the tiny smile making its way to his lips.

And for the first time since you’d left Ralph Anderson in a middle of nowhere field, you didn’t feel quite so alone…

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I really appreciate your support for this series 💕 Thank you for your readership! I’m sorry!

#Ralph Anderson #Ben Mendelsohn #Ralph Anderson x Reader #The Outsider #The outsider hbo #HBOs the Outsider #Ralph x Shifter!Reader #Shifter!Reader #Dia #Ever since reading If It Bleeds she certainly looks like Dia and not an AU!Harmony...#I mean I think this is probably worse than either of you were envisioning #UGHH! THIS SONG!!#SHE HAS SO MANY AMAZING SONGS FOR THE BOIS!!!!#IT'S SO CRAZY AND I LOVE IT!#158

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