#yuki and alex and carlos are slaying tho

[racecaryuri]

this is literally charles every single fucking race. its so sad.

[maxverstepponme]

Now that the GP is over, the reason why I went MIA this week wasn’t because of school, it was because I was -still am- in Miami 🥰 I had the chance to meet Max, George, Carlos, Yuki, Kelly -ew- and saw Patrick Mahomes 💀///

OMG OMG NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY FOR A STRANGER BUT THIS IS SOOO COOL

Tell us everything, spill all the tea, how was it, who did you meet and what were they like????

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU STEPPY ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I KNOW 😭😭

I won’t say much, but long story short, my friend’s dad got tickets because of the company he works at so she invited me and some friends. The experience was amazing and I still can’t believe I witnessed the vibe after Lando’s win.

Max: I don’t care what they say or how stupid he is, but this man is so sweet 😭 He is so soft spoken and kind, it made my heart melt. I’m pretty sure he noticed I was kind of nervous but thankfully I didn’t embarrass myself.

George: I NEVER thought this man could be THAT nice 😭 I saw him walking on the paddock so I had to say hi. I almost called him waxy LMAO but I got a picture with him. He’s also really tall and smells amazing. Also, he isn’t as skinny as he looks in pics. Guess I’m in love 🤡

Carlos and Yuki: I said hi to both of them but only managed to take a picture with Carlos 😭 He’s really nice as well and also smells really good. Wished him good luck in Spanish and he said “muchísimas gracias”. By the looks of it, I’m taller than Yuki so slay me 💀

Patrick Mahomes: LMFAO I just saw him and he’s taller than I thought. Thank god I didn’t meet Brittany tho 💀

I also saw Alex, Rebecca, and Carmen from afar. Ngl but they looked stunning.

(Bonus, I guess?) Kelly: I didn’t really meet meet her, but I saw her there. While me and my friends were meeting Max at the hospitality, she was sitting in one of the tables that were a bit far from where we were with Max. She kept looking at us from head to toe for what felt like forever so I waved at her 💀 she waved back in the fakest way possible but it was so funny. I know she’ll die when she sees this because she wasted an opportunity to come at me 😭

[0scar-piastri]

Study in gay

According to a study 1/4 people are gay, meaning there are 5 gay people on the f1 grid. This is just me taking the piss, it is not serious, I am not speculating, it is fiction! So don’t come at me bros! It’s supposed to be funny!

Is:

Charles Leclerc, has know he’s gay since forever, don’t make a big deal out of it, but scared it’ll get out (like new, dumb FIA rules and all) hence the thick beards, in love with one Max Emilian Verstappen

Max Verstappen, has experimented with Pierre.. a lot Max Verstappen, bi, grown up around narrow mindedness but in a very accepting society (Netherlands) as a whole, now doing his best to be the opposite of narrow minded, he is succeeding. Probably the one to have made out with the most guys on the grid, especially when drunk/high.

Lando Norris, gay, there is this viiiiibe, probably doesn’t know it yet, like I said he thinks men flirting with him are just being friendly, has definitely drunkenly made out with Max and liked it, but you know that’s what friends do when drunk, no?

Lewis Hamilton, he really doesn’t care what gender he ends up with.. very confident in himself and his sexuality, would slay in drag, one stare has haters cowering, not a stranger to threesomes with a guy and girl (according to my hubby) also had that thing with Nico

Pierre Gasly, bi, he is French

Not:

Sebastian Vettel, straight but undying support, has dabbled in his youth, he is the definition of accepting grid dad, very helpful to confused, questioning f1 children

Lance Stroll, was the one finding the study and sharing with the other drivers, thinking that he is one of the gay ones, it really isn’t, funny man loves pussy

Alex Albon, I mean look at him and Lily, I would go for lily too tbh

George Russel, same as Alex but idk his wag’s name

Fernando Alonso, ancient man doesn’t even know what gay is?? Still think it means happy tbh.. So not woke

Carlos Sainz Jr, allegedly there have been some comments made?? Idk he’s kinda fruity to me, especially where Lando’s concerned

Danny Ric, straight as an arrow, wholly supportive, would step up if a fake boyfriend was needed, would take down any homophobic asshole harassing his boys, could probably get in a relationship with a man, but loves eating pussy too much

Nicholas Latifi, wholly accepting, same league as Seb, but without the dabbling

Mick Schumacher, idk used to have a crush on Harry Styles, but who hasn’t?

Yuki Tsunoda, Pierre is the love of his life, but like platonically, he is 100% scared of girls tho..

Zhou Guanyu, quiet guy, but dicks down girls left and right because of his impeccable sense of fashion

Sergio Perez, lmao just no, traditionalist through and through

Esteban Ocon, dunno much about him tbh, though I think he is cute, no gay vibes about him tho, could definitely star as Count Dracula in a movie?? Now that’s a vibe.

Valtteri Bottas, dat ass tho, it’s a favorite in the lgbtq community, would politely decline any advances from the same gender, he knows he does not like dick like that

Kevin Magnussen, doesn’t do labels, but has a kid with a female sooo

[aboutmisery]

🦋 my first impression of f1 drivers 🦋

since i'm slowly getting into formula one, i wanna present you all my first impressions of the drivers:

lewis hamilton:

- he intimates me cause he's too cool. def said "swag" unironically in 2012. idk i just feel like he's bigger than f1 itself and probably the only one who is successful both on and off track.

george russell:

- his face is snatched, his waist is tiny and his abs are shiny. homeboy races like a pro but talks and dresses like a grandpa. i like that.

charles leclerc:

- i didn't realize monaco was its own country. so, shoutout charles. same like george - snatched face, tiny waist and AMAZING eyebrows. i hope he gets the title soon :(

carlos sainz:

- i feel like he's charles sidekick, but in all honesty ferrari is the pussy-slaying team, cause he's also gorgeous. he's in the gravel a lot tho so idk maybe next year he'll prove himself 🥰

sebastian vettel:

- he seems like a nice person, who knows a lot about racing! idk he kind of reminds me of iron man 🤔 sad that he leaves and i didn't get to see him in his prime, but maybe he'll come back again!

lance stroll:

- i like him :) but he scares me a little :(

esteban ocon:

- i think he's neat! he's super tall tho, so that's kind of ehhh for me. but i think he's a good driver and always consistent

fernando alonso:

- idk why he's still here tbh. it's like a tv show bringing back a character who died and is now suddenly alive again. like, gtfo.

daniel ricciardo:

- amazing driver, amazing smile, i am in love with him. he's super cool and is very professional. i also heard he gave mclaren the first win since 2012 so that's awesome too! 🥰

lando norris:

- at first i thought he was some OC from a fanfiction, cause who tf in the world is called after some star wars character? haven't had the time to ~get to know him yet, but i saw him in a "call of duty" commercial so i think that's enough

valterri bottas:

- he reminds me of the sauna-guy in "frozen" 😸 i do believe he's a good driver and is showing off what he can do in the alfa romeo :)!

zhou guanyu:

- cool guy, i hope he goes to a better team soon and can prove himself!

pierre gasly:

- gives me the ick unfortunately:( also i heard he... nvm 🤫

yuki tsunoda:

- i have a feeling he can't fully prove his full potential :( but imo he's a great driver and can be one of the best soon! 🥲

alex albon:

- i like his pets! every race i've seen so far, he missed the track limits but nobody is perfect so i understand :)

nicholas latifi:

- i feel so sorry for him, because he keeps being overlooked. but afaik he's not in f1 next year? i hope we see more of him in maybe another race series 🙂

kevin magnussen:

- i think he's good. i saw a video where he said "suck my balls, honey" and i thought that was beautiful

mick schumacher:

- son of michael schumacher, he should go out and start punching people just like his dad did!

i think those are all, so many names to remember 🥲😅