#yugyeom x reader au

[agustdef]

Right Now

Pairing: Kim Yugyeom x Black!Reader

Genre: Angst, Light Fluff, Idol AU/Idolverse

Word Count: 1.4k

Warning: One cuss word; Language; Mentions of lack of eating, but due to workaholic behavior.

Rating: PG-13

Author's Note: I wrote this forever ago and never posted it, which makes no sense. ​

One thing that fans and choreographers had in common was that tour season was a whirlwind experience that came at you fast and had you begging it to slow down. Though to be honest Hana didn’t really beg for it to slow down, she went wherever it took her and that meant more work than all of the “off season” combined. Something she didn’t mind and to a degree could admit to loving.

And that is where the problem arose.

Yugyeom had his own tour dates to prepare for. Events that were some of his first since GOT7 left JYPE. They made him more anxious than when he had his members to rely on, so he put in more work than usual. But none of it was overworking himself or not taking the time to breathe.

With his new career within the R&B world he’d promised himself he’d take a little more control and do what worked best for him and the life he wanted to lead, even outside of music. It was a must, and it was hard because he was used to the go, go, go lifestyle of idol life, but he wanted to take his time. He had all the time in the world for the fast paced, always moving shit when GOT7 got deep into preparations for their July comeback - something he looked forward to.

But while he waited and geared up for his solo activities, he tried to impart some of that wisdom onto Hana. That meant talking to her about it and getting her to take breaks no matter how small and no matter what hops he had to jump through to get her to give in.

Of course, she had obligations so she couldn’t just ditch jobs. It would make people second guess hiring her or get her blacklisted from working with companies if she changed up on them at the last minute. But the problem wasn’t how many choreographing and teaching roles she took on, or at least not the one Yugyeom felt he could validly argue against. No, the issue was that she was also helping out other friends. She would workshop choreo, act as a member for demos, help them get into different companies to showcase they were the right fit for their artists, and even teaching classes with them when they asked at the last minute.

It left her with so little time to do anything else. Yugyeom feared if she was eating like she should have or getting enough rest in her own bed, because she hadn’t entered his in weeks.

The worry he felt was low at the start of the season, but peaked once some artists began to make their way out a bit earlier than the rest. There were so many last-minute details and intensive work to put in. He barely got a text out of her or anyone he could usually reach out to get ahold of her. 

Even popping up wherever she told him yielded low results with him hoping the intimidating nature of being some of her clients' elder age and industry time wise would be enough to ensure they got her to eat or drink something when he dropped it off.

After a while it went from pure worry to agitation. Something that made him lie in bed at night staring at the ceiling as he thought about it until he picked up his phone.

Yugyeom: You at home?

Minutes ticked by with him staring at the screen awaiting an answer, to the point that he found himself a little pissed off and ready to call her, but before he could his phone buzzed a few times.

Hana: No, in the studio

Hana: I had to finalize that killing part for P1Harmony’s new comeback

Hana: I thought I told you???

Yugyeom’s anger didn’t subside despite her answering him, in fact her words seemed to just maintain how upset he was.

Yugyeom: You said it didn’t need to be done for two weeks. Did they push it up?

Hana: No

Yugyeom: So, you’re finishing it at 2AM 2 weeks early because….?

Hana: Because I want it done

Hana: Not rocket science. I got the time so might as well

There were many times in life that Yugyeom wanted to cuss someone out or simply scream and that was indeed one of them. It was like she didn’t know how she sounded, but he knew better than that. Hana knew exactly what she was doing and what he was calling her out on, but she wouldn’t cop to it. No, she preferred to do the thing where she played dumb until he said it outright and even then, she would deny, deny, deny.

It took several deep breaths to get him to calm down and respond to her.

Yugyeom: Come here and I’ll help you

Hana: I’m not falling for your tricks to see me. I’ll see you in a few days

Yugyeom: For work

Hana: And dinner after

He was going to push the issue, but just as began to type another message came through.

Hana: Gotta go. Ireh is back and we’re starting up. Go to sleep. Love you!

Naturally, he knew that she wouldn’t respond to him after that, so Yugyeom threw his phone across the bed. Or he tried to, but the slight force behind it made it bounce and hit the floor instead. He winced hearing it but made zero move to pick it up. All his focus was on Hana. The woman who drove him up the wall but who he loved endlessly. 

The thing was he got it. There was no one more understanding than Yugyeom because he lived the life of someone whose work needed a lot of his energy and time spent with people like Monster Woo and other dancers showed him how much went into what they did. How much it could strain things. But all he saw was Hana running herself into the ground for no reason.

Of course, he had to admit part of it was for selfish reasons on his part. He wanted more time with her, even if it was a quick meal and falling asleep together. Spending quality time is something he loved to do with her, and he’d missed out on for months. However, the much larger reason was because he knew her and knew she was in her own head. Knew that a lot of the pressure to work, work, work stemmed from her need to keep herself relevant and employed in an industry that could truly break a foreigner, especially a Black one. She’d made a name for herself long ago and had the backing in the US, but working mostly in K-Pop was something new and she hated to fail at such a challenge.

That was the thing that kept him from losing his shit with her, but it was also the straw to break the camel's back. There was nothing left in him that said he should continue to let it slide, to not push harder for her to take a step or two back. Lines like telling her friends and colleagues to not reach out were ones he wouldn’t cross, but as he drifted off that night, he’d decided that he would put his foot down. 

###

Days went by with Yugyeom not reaching out to Hana after their last text conversation. She wasn’t surprised that he’d stopped talking; he had two comebacks and tour dates to prepare for. Not that that was the reason he’d cut off communication attempts. Hana was smart enough to know he was worried and probably pissed with her. Something she hated but knew she couldn’t control since she had things to get done and not a lot of time to do them.

Tour season meant a lot of work and she was no stranger to pouring a lot of herself into it, so she rolled with the punches without much complaint. Which didn’t make him happy with her, but she knew it was something she could manage. Something she could explain to him to get him to understand.

Talking to him was in that plan once she arrived at the dance studio that he was preparing for his tour in. She was a choreographer for some songs and might go with him. Though with all the opportunities that rolled her way it looked unlikely that she would. 

Another thing he would be upset with her about.

Upon her arrival she assaulted with the smell of food. As she walked further into the building those smells intensified and she basically drowned in them as she entered the break room area that the studio housed. 

Everyone sat or leaned against something eating and paying her no mind. It was confusing because she thought they’d agreed to have lunch before coming in, but things had seemingly changed. All without her being in the know, something that she could have brushed off as an over thought if not for the momentary eye contact, she made with Yugyeom as he got up to grab a drink. His expression was blank as he looked at her and before she could blink, he turned around and went back to his seat without a word.

It was clear he was icing her out, which made her upset and a little angry. Not that she had time to process or call him on it, because the moment he sat down people noticed her presence and Ireh popped up and ushered her to the table she was sat at.

“We’re going to start a little later, so get comfortable. I’ll grab you something,” Ireh said.

Hana opened her mouth to tell her she was fine, but then her stomach growled, and she became all too aware of her hunger. She’d had a late night and got to sleep even later. So, in order to get the bare minimum of enough rest she’d slept in longer than she would have preferred and grabbed a pastry from the convenience store on the way. She’d planned to eat another snack before they started because she needed to and because eating a lot before dancing wasn’t something that she loved. But if she was hungry enough for her stomach to make sounds, she knew that she needed to eat something more. Plus, she had more time than she thought.

Another thing that wasn’t shared with her.

That made her irritation spike, so as she shrugged off her hoodie and dropped her bag Hana found her gaze drifting to Yugyeom. He was carefully spooning rice into his mouth as he messed around on his phone, only looking up when someone spoke to him and making sure to never even turn his head in her direction.

His behavior wasn’t something Hana never experienced before, she’d endured the silent treatment a few times before and it sucked every time. However, when it was about something that was work related and part of her livelihood it pissed her off. Even if there was a whisper in her head voicing the reminder that she could slow down some and not push herself so hard. That she had enough jobs for the season and could chill the hell out. The voice was right, but she wasn’t one to acknowledge that when she knew she could keep pushing and be fine.

So, being upset with him would withstand. At least that was what she tried to convey by glaring at a man who refused to give her the time of day.

Before she could do anything drastic, like walk over to his table, Ireh returned with two containers and a bottle of water. Hana took them carefully and was surprised to find kimchi-jjigae inside one. It was the typical food delivered for a work lunch, but it was a favorite of hers and something she craved whenever she worked a lot. 

Something Ireh knew.

Once Ireh took a seat and began eating again Hana opened her mouth to thank her, but the woman shook her head.

“I barely even knew we were getting lunch today. You know who picked it out.”

“But he…”

“Hana, you know better,” Ireh said, but in Korean that time.

Though she often spoke both when talking to Hana there was something about the way she switched to it in order to scold that made Hana shrink into herself a little. It wasn’t that her feelings were hurt, but she did know better. Plus, Ireh was the oldest of four children, so she had the older sister act down pact, even if she only had less than a year over Hana in age.

Hana sighed. “I know.”

“If you know, then act like it.”

From there they ate in silence. The food was delicious, so Hana had zero problem finishing it and even after she was done the usual fullness never came. Which made her curse herself for clearly not eating enough especially because it wasn’t her intention, she just got easily wrapped up in things and forgot.

Once everyone finished, they cleaned up, and there were several minutes of sitting before everyone moved into the practice room. Hana brought up the rear and went to close the door behind them but was cut off by Yugyeom slipping into the room. He handed her a sports drink and continued to walk past her.

Or tried to but was stopped when Hana grabbed hold of his wrist.

“Yugyeom,” she whispered.

At first, she thought he would pull away, but after a few seconds he turned to her with an expression much gentler than the one he’d greeted her with.

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to…”

“I don’t have to do a lot of things, baby. But I do them because I want to and because sometimes people neglect to get them done.”

Not another word was said as he walked away, mostly because Hana couldn’t find any to say. There was the care behind his actions in those words, but she couldn’t miss the dig at the end. She knew it wasn’t meant to be all that hurtful, but she also knew he was being a little mean on purpose. Something that he wasn’t often, and she was unsure if she was angry, hurt, or simply upset that they’d reached that point.

In order to not have to figure that out she took a breath and stood off to the side while the head choreographer and tour manager spoke to them. When all information was disseminated they got to work going over the choreo with those who’d created it. Though the songs she’d worked on were early in the set list she went last and the entire time she refused to meet Yugyeom’s eyes.

Despite the tension they worked through the moves easily and corrected anything that seemed off. It was hyper professional between them and to a degree that made her feel worse, but the alternative of letting feelings leak through wasn’t any better.

After an hour and a half of going through everything they took a small break and Yugyeom tossed her a protein bar before taking a seat on the floor to catch his breath. The urge to say something flared, but Hana just took a seat and ate the bar without question.

Twenty minutes later they were back into the groove of things, but instead of checking for issues they decided to tackle the set list as it was. Most of the people he’d worked with weren’t coming with him, so it was the dancers with him while everyone else watched carefully.

Part of Hana wanted to sit it out because she may not have been going, but also because she was in a petty mood. The more time she and Yugyeom spent with negative emotions looming over them the more annoyed she got, and it was hard to push it down or reason with herself. But instead of taking that step back she got into position.

Keeping her mind from wandering wasn’t hard when she was dancing. It was her passion, so Hana always found joy in doing it. Especially because she’d been so happy when Yugyeom asked her to work on some of the choreo for him. She’d done so on some of GOT7’s music but working closely with the man she loved when he held the same passion as her put her over the moon. A feeling that found its way into her as she danced alongside him.

Their run through went off without a hitch and they were able to do it with very few breaks. Once it was finished, they all took a moment to catch their breath and then any issues were pointed out before they did it again. The second time around included moments where he would stop to talk or to head backstage for a bit, so it was less taxing and also showed there was a better flow of things.

Usually that would have been the end of it, but it was decided on one more run through. Yugyeom had been singing the other two times so to preserve his voice they just let the track play and he lip synced the lyrics. During that practice he found his flow in a way that wasn’t present before and interacted with the dancers more. Hana effortlessly played off that and more often than before they ended up close together dancing in a way that wasn’t so scandalous that they looked like they were five seconds from fucking, but enough to fit the vibe and the sexiness of some of the songs.

With the last song, Hana found they stared into each other’s eyes more than they had most of the day and so it took a moment to snap out of it and walk away once the music stopped. They managed to do so and keep to themselves as they listened to the tour manager again. Everyone was happy with the practice so it ended and though Hana knew most of them liked to leave quickly the speed in which everyone got out of there was next level.

In about two minutes only she and Yugyeom were left, and he was at the door with his hand held out to her. Again, the urge to be petty arose in her, but she’d gone a long time without any physical touch from him that wasn’t dance related and she craved it. So, after she grabbed her bag, she walked forward and laced her fingers in his.

Neither spoke as he led them out of the studio and to the car that he’d hired to drive them around. As they sat in silence, they continued to hold hands and didn’t stop until Yugyeom motioned her into the restaurant they’d planned to go to for dinner. The host led them to a private room and to Hana’s surprise JayB and Youngjae were already there. Both men were often late to dinners.

“Did you even shower?” Youngjae asked as he got up to hug them.

Hana rolled her eyes. “No time.”

“At least she’s not as stinky as him,” Jaebeom said as they switched, and he hugged her.

“Hyung,” Yugyeom whined.

That got a laugh out of everyone and that meant a pouting Yugyeom as they took their seats. A server appeared the moment their butts touched down and they ordered and awaited the drinks.

“So how did it go?” Jaebeom asked.

“It went well. Most of it was already ready, so from here on out it’s just correcting any problems and making sure that we’re one hundred percent happy with how the set list flows,” Yugyeom said.

“That’s good. I know it can be nerve wrecking to do the first solo show, plus it’s in person. Making sure it’s just right means you’ll do great,” Jaebeom said.

“I hope so.”

“Ah, our baby is nervous,” Youngjae teased.

More pouting ensued as they all laughed and Jaebeom reached over to pinch his cheek, earning a light slap to the hand which only made them laugh harder.

It took a few minutes before they settled and their drinks arrived in that time. In the restaurant they went to drinks were fast, but food was slow because they prided themselves in being made to order so most of the food was unprepped.

“Speaking of preparing, how is all the tour stuff going with the different artists, Hana?” Youngjae asked.

Something about the question excited her, but also felt heavy. As if she was beyond tired.

“Good. I thank the heavens that most have been doing online concerts and don’t have a lot of new music coming before tour. It makes it so that we’re mostly just going over things and learning a handful of new choreo. Most pick it up fast, but some of the rookies are so new to it that their nerves are making it harder for them to keep up. But I enjoy being able to help them through it.”

Jaebeom nodded. “I don’t know how you do it. Dance has been in my life a long time and b-boying could take a lot out of you, so I can’t imagine doing it as much as you do. Hell, as much as either of you do. And Gyeomie finds time to do it for fun.”

Hana glanced at Yugyeom, who’d gotten quiet, before saying anything.

“Yeah, it can be a lot, but you get used to it.”

“I just hope you’re taking care of yourself.”

Before Jaebeom finished his sentence Yugyeom scoffed, but Hana ignored it.

“I’m doing my best,” she said.

Another noise was heard but it was softer than the last in a way that Hana almost missed it. What she didn’t miss was the way that Yugyeom rolled his eyes.

If it was anyone else besides his members in that room she would have been embarrassed, but they knew how he could get and saw both of them at their worst. There was nothing they would judge them for or at least all judgment would come from a place of friendship and not rudeness.

Regardless of that it annoyed her, and she wanted to ask him about it, but instead took a deep breath and a sip of her drink. 

Seconds ticked by in silence before Youngjae broke the tension or tried to break it, because it didn’t let up even a little.

“So, you ready to go on tour with him? I know you haven’t done one in a few years, and you said you miss it.”

Anger gave way to discomfort then, and Hana paused for way too long.

“Uh… yeah. Some things have come up and so I might not get the chance to do it. But I am looking forward to it.”

“You might not go?” Yugyeom asked, shock and anger coloring his words.

“Yeah, I was going to tell you…”

“When?”

“After dinner. I thought we could talk then.”

Yugyeom’s face was stoic, and it was clear he fought to keep it and not allow anything else to color his expression as he looked at her. For several seconds all he did was stare, before he turned his head to look across the table.

“Hyungs,” he said, voice shaky.

Neither of them said anything, just nodded and got up. As they exited Hana heard Jaebeom mention sitting at the bar to give them a moment to themselves, but she was more focused on Yugyeom who’d risen from his seat and began to pace the room.

“Yugyeom,” she said softly.

Hearing his name didn’t stop his pacing or even get him to look in her direction.

“Yugyeom.”

Again nothing.

“Kim Yugyeom.”

That time there was a bit of anger in her voice, and she didn’t know if that did the trick or the use of his full name, but he finally stopped pacing and turned to her. She watched as he visibly took a deep breath and then leaned against the wall behind him.

“Do you know how worried I’ve been?” he asked.

Hana sighed. “I kn…”

“That was rhetorical. You know how worried I’ve been. You’ve had me checking in on you over the phone. Bringing you food and getting you to take moments to rest. You’ve seen my hold back because I know how you work, and I know it can be intense. I know that you do things a certain way and while it may seem like too much to be doing to me that you view it a different way. I know this industry is iffy and you committing to working mostly for this country’s industry is a lot because of the extra bs that comes with you not being Korean. I let shit slide because of those things. I put aside my worries because of those things, because I’m trying to be understanding. But there are limits.

“You push and push until you push me away. You’ve barely spoken to me for more than an hour in total over the last month. I have to work harder than one should to get proof you’re okay. To make sure that you’re eating and drinking. To ensure that you’re getting the rest that you need. And you don’t give a fuck.”

Throughout his speech Hana felt guilt creep in, but something about that last sentence shoved it down.

“I don’t care? How are you going to sit here and tell me that I don’t care? As if I haven’t been doing my best to keep in contact and as if I don’t always thank you for the things you do to take care of me. I’ve been busy, Yugyeom. You know how much comes up during these months and how much busier I get as tour dates get closer.”

“Fuck that busy shit!” he shouted.

That brought them to a standstill. Not because Hana felt threatened or anything, they cussed all the time so it slipping into an angry conversation didn’t faze her. But the way he raised his voice surprised her a little. It wasn’t scary, but it wasn’t like him to yell even though it had been softer than most people’s.

“Baby…” she trailed off.

Yugyeom’s face shifted from anger to a deep set frown and gentle eyes that told her he was tired and worried. Much more than he was letting on.

“I just… I want to take care of you, and I want you to take care of yourself. I get that you work hard, but you can work hard and also relax. Take moments to breathe. Have some sort of fun. You get into this work mode where it’s like you can’t seem to do anything else, even when there isn’t much else to do. And I get it, baby I do, but there has to be a line. 

“And I’m selfish. Outside of you being healthy I miss you. I’ve barely seen you for a month and it’s not like we haven’t crossed paths. I miss being able to spend time with you. Making up dances in the studio just because it’s fun, taking small trips for a day or two, you yelling at me because you hate the way that I cook, and just falling asleep by your side. I haven’t held you in forever.”

As he spoke Hana rose from her seat and moved over to Yugyeom, wrapping her arms around his waist before she pulled him close. She knew she’d not been thinking about herself much and just going with the fact that she felt fine as an indicator on if she needed a break. It worked for her, but it was a dangerous way to live and despite how much she hated to realize it, lack of eating alone was enough for her to know she wasn’t as well as she thought.

That coupled with the neglect of her relationship was a reality check of epic proportions. She’d expected Yugyeom to just go with her schedule without throwing him a bone in terms of even a little affection. Plus, there was the depriving of her own touch and time needs. All of it showed her that she’d been a mess masquerading as someone with their shit together for weeks.

“I know and I’m sorry. I got wrapped up in it all and forgot myself. But even so, I shouldn’t have forgotten your needs. Forgotten that I would have to put in the effort to fix things when I finally came down to reality and not just expected you to be understanding or that I could explain it away. You deserve better than that and I’m sorry I was giving you less than.”

Yugyeom wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against him. His body relaxed and so did hers. Not everything was solved, and it was something they would need time to get over, but Hana knew it was the start of a good thing and that she would do better. 

After a few moments Yugyeom moved away a bit and leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. It was gentle and came with a spark that made it feel like the first time. A testament to how long she’d been in self-imposed exile of his touch.

As he pulled away from her, she made the mental note to overhaul her planner to work better for herself and her relationship.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you more.”

Yet another pout took form and as his lips parted to argue the boys reentered the room with the server right behind them.

“Sorry,” Youngjae said.

Hana waved them off. “You’re fine. We’re good.”

“Really?” Jaebeom asked.

“Yes.”  

A squeeze of the hand was all she needed to be sure of it.

They enjoyed the meal without the heavy weight of tension in the room and despite how she needed to get across town the next morning Hana went with Yugyeom to his apartment without argument. She said she would do better and that needed to be immediate.

Plus, when she woke up a little later than she’d planned she couldn’t be mad, because being wrapped in his arms was the best night sleep she’d gotten in a while. She planned for it to be a repeat performance for at least a week straight.

[spacequokka]

Oh I’m glad you are 🥰.

Anyways can I request some were Yugyeom and y/n are in a relationship but Yugyeom shares everything to bambam to the point he basically knows everything that is going on with them and haves seen her nudes ( you don’t have to add the part if your not confortable ) and they get in a argument you can decide on the one ending 💕

Everything Changed

Pairing: Yugyeom x Reader x BamBam Genre: Established Romance, F2L, Angst Rating: T Summary: You notice a change in BamBam’s behavior during an ordinary game night. A few questions later and the ground is dropping from underneath your feet. Word Count: 1.6k Warnings: mentions of sexting and a nude, lmk if i missed something

A/N: Sorry I took so long to do this! 😭 I tweaked some bits, but I hope this fits what you were looking for.

BamBam knew it was an accident. Yugyeom was always texting him stupid memes and gifs. “Copy Image” was his second best friend. Waking up to duplicate messages or screenshots meant for others was nothing new to him.

But a nude was.

There was no telling what the hell Yugyeom was doing when he did it. Maybe sitting on his phone wrong or drunk sexting. He was sure there was a logical reason for getting a nude of his best friend’s girlfriend. There had to be.

[Yug:] shit my b

[Yug:] delete that

[Yug:] like rn

See? An honest mistake.

[Bam:] yea no prob

[Yug:] this never happened

[Yug:] or else 🔪

[Bam:] bet 😅

BamBam shook his head and scrolled up to the picture. Time slowed to a stop as he glanced at it, committing the image to memory before long-pressing on it and choosing delete. Like Yugyeom said, no one needed to know. It was a secret he would take to his grave.

Or so he thought.

Saturday nights were reserved for hanging out with friends. If the crowd was big enough, then there’d be club-hopping or going to the movies. This time nearly everyone had called off save for BamBam. When Yugyeom suggested the three of you staying in with games and pizza, you didn’t object. The two of them were more than enough to keep the night entertaining. They were clowns who couldn’t drive, barely good enough to keep up with you in Rainbow Six, and terrible at teamwork based play.

You were sandwiched between them on the couch waiting on their last round of a Mortal Kombat match for your turn. So far, they were tied and this would declare the winner. Both were leaned forward with their elbows on their knees, concentration at its highest. You had to admit. Yugyeom never looks hotter than when he gets that look in his eyes. With his body in full contact of yours from shoulder to knee from sitting on the tiniest sofa he could find in IKEA, you were getting distracted with thoughts of the things you could do once the night started to wind down.

“Oh, come on!” Yugyeom spat and dropped his control upon defeat. “You kept doing the same bitch move.”

BamBam shrugged. “If it’s in the game, it’s fair play.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Yugyeom shot up from his seat, inadvertently pushing you against BamBam.

Your breast brushed along the length of his bicep before you caught yourself with a hand on his thigh. “Yug!”

“Bullshit.” Yugyeom muttered as he stomped off to the kitchen.

BamBam’s hands trembled as he gently righted you. “What a sore loser.”

“No, for real.” You frowned at Yugyeom’s back, missing the way BamBam bit his bottom lip before pulling away. When your boyfriend disappeared, you turned back to his bestie with a weak smile. “Ready for another match? I get to play against the winner.”

He swallowed and looked away. “Uh, sure. Just let me run to the bathroom first.” He was up before you could reply, accidentally giving you a face full of his crotch before disappearing down the hall. You blinked a few times. Was he…hard? You knew your brush against him was more than the usual contact you two ever had, but popping a boner like he was a preteen was a bit much. It was nothing like the confident flirt you’d come to know him as.

Yugyeom returned first, face still as sour as when he left, and plopped down with three bottles of soju. “Where’d fuckface go?”

“Um, bathroom.” You pointed with your thumb. “Is he…” How did you ask this without sounding weird? “Is he okay? I mean like, getting laid and stuff?”

Yugyeom’s eyes snapped to your face. “What?”

You groaned. Honestly, you should’ve just pretended nothing happened. “You pushed me on him and he ran off to the bathroom with a…boner. Did he take a vow of celibacy or something?” Of all the reactions you expected, it wasn’t Yugyeom blushing. First, the tips of his ears before spreading to his cheeks. His eyes were wide, every bit of a deer caught in headlights. Better known as his guilty face. Your eyes narrowed with suspicion. “What did you do? And do not lie to me.”

His bottom lip quivered, and he bit it before turning away and looking down at his hands. “You’re gonna get mad.”

“Okay, but the longer you take to spit it out determines how mad I’ll be. What could you have done to cause that?”

“Cause what?” BamBam cut in, awkwardly taking his seat next to you, this time doing his best to avoid touching you.

It only made you double down and poke Yugyeom’s neck. “What. Did. You. Do?”

Yugyeom flinched and spared an apologetic look to BamBam before he spoke in a tiny voice. “I accidentally sent your nude to him.”

“You what?” Your voice was eerily flat, devoid of emotion as the words replayed in your head. Yugyeom started to repeat himself, but you were quick to shut him up. “How the hell do you accidentally send a nude?!”

“I do it all the time!”

“WHAT?” You shot up to your feet and backed away from them.

“No! Not like that.” BamBam held up his hands. “He accidentally sends me stuff all the time. This was the first time a pic of you came up.”

“R-right! Please, it was an accident. I’d never do that on purpose. You know I love you.” Yugyeom slid off the couch and onto his knees rubbing his hands together. “I’d never disrespect you like that.”

Seeing him like this was enough to douse your outrage. “Okay, well then, why is BamBam afraid to touch me now?” You looked at him and addressed him directly. “You deleted it, right?”

Now it was BamBam’s turn to be sheepish and guilty. “I did. I just…can’t forget what I saw. I thought things would be the same as before,” he spared Yugyeom a sad look of his own, “but being around you fucks my head up now. I’m honestly having a hard time keeping a ‘friend, off-limits’ label on you.” He covered his face with his hands and exhaled hard. “I just—I know it’s fucked up and I’m sorry, you guys.”

Stunned silence filled the room and for the longest no one spoke. You could feel the comfortable life you’d come to have with them start to crack, and as the silence wore on, knew it wouldn’t be long before it all fell apart. But what to do? They were best friends long before you came into the picture. You couldn’t say for sure Yugyeom wouldn’t choose BamBam over you, and even if he did, it’d tear him apart in the long run. BamBam would sacrifice their friendship for Yugyeom’s happiness, but it’d set him decades back to his old, standoffish teen ways. You could leave and never look back, but you’d be leaving a large chunk of yourself in their hands. They’d become a large part of your life and starting over from scratch was a scary prospect.

Unable to come up with something to say, you sank to the floor and hugged your knees. Just a little longer, and there’d be nothing anyone could say or do.

“What if—” Yugyeom whispered, barely louder than the background noise of the tv, “What if you dated BamBam, instead?”

Your neck popped with how fast you looked up at him. “What?”

“Are you insane?” BamBam grimaced. “Why the fuck would she do that?”

Yugyeom picked at his fingers, head bowed as he blinked rapidly. “This is my fault. I-I fucked up, right? So I should be the one punished. I could back off and let you two see how things go. I could.”

“But I was the one who memorized the pic!” BamBam immediately ducked his head once the confession was out. “I’m the one who made everything awkward and weird.”

You rolled your eyes. “By that logic, it’s my fault for even taking the pic in the first place. You’re both dorks when it comes to women. You’re acting the way I’d expect him to react if we weren’t dating.” You looked at Yugyeom. “And if we broke up, what will you do? Sit on his couch while he cuddles with me like nothing’s wrong? I thought you loved me. How could you let me go so easily?”

“I didn’t say it wouldn’t hurt me!” Yugyeom finally looked up, eyes watery as his lips trembled. “I just don’t want you two to be unhappy. If you at least had each other, I could try to move on. You both mean the world to me.”

Silence followed again, but it was much heavier than before. Yet, in that heaviness, there was a spark of hope. Your throat ran dry at the thought, the absolute madness, of the idea. You had to swallow around the lump that suddenly formed. “Yug?”

He looked at you, tears spilling down his cheeks. “Yeah?”

“Think you could share?” You chuckled nervously, licked your lips and tried again. “I mean, might as well. I know you tell him everything, anyway.” You turned your attention to your pants, picking at a stray thread. “It’s better than us falling apart and not speaking or whatever. What’s one more dork to deal with gonna hurt—”

“Do you mean it?” Yugyeom cut you off. “You’re not just saying it, are you? Because if you’re okay with it, I don’t mind at all.” His eyes were wide yet still watery, as if he wanted to hope but didn’t dare tip over just yet. “You don’t have to do—”

“I do.” You said firmly. “Like you said. I love both of you. If nothing else, we should try.” You gave a little shrug. “Love’s messy like that.”

[winter-dayz]

Guardian

Pairing: Kim Yugyeom x Reader Demon AU Genre: Fluff Words: 2641 Warnings: strong language

Masterlist | Fictober Masterpost

Taglist:  @soobin-chois

“You called?” He smirked and entered your room, plopping himself down right in the middle of your neatly made bed.

“For God, not Satan’s reincarnate.” You huffed, glaring at him before turning back to your laptop in frustration and annoyance. His face twisted into amusement at the irony of truth behind your words without you even knowing it. 

Kim Yugyeom had been looking after you for four years and had wiggled his way into your life three years ago after perfecting his human form. Guardian angels were the standard, the praised, and the dreamt of. Guardian demons? Not so much. Yet, here he was still looking after his precious human under the guise of her best friend. This was not at all standard—incredibly frowned upon actually—and Yugyeom was sure any normal human would consider a guardian demon to be a nightmare. But he couldn’t help himself.

🎃

The angels considered getting to be a guardian an honor that was sacred, but demons, however, found it to be a boring punishment. To be a guardian meant that the higher beings had found the angel or demon responsible enough to look after human life. This meant that any demon chosen wouldn’t get to foresee any tormenting or torturing to the damned souls. Hence, why many of them dreaded and hated to receive guardian duty.

In the beginning, Yugyeom felt the same way. He detested that he, of all demons, had to look after a mortal being. No more troublemaking, torturing, or even living life as he pleased. Or so he thought.

Two months into his guardianship, he realized what a fascinating human you actually were. Sure, you did all the boring, mundane human tasks and things. But you also appeared more complicated than the average human, and you were definitely vastly more interesting than the souls he encountered in hell.

You were kind and selfless but did not allow others to take advantage of you and were not afraid to stand up for yourself. You were passionate in what you believed in but also were very open-minded to other possibilities. You were confident in your skin and walked through life not taking anyone’s bullshit, but you were also vulnerable and insecure in your own ways.

A year into his guardianship and he couldn’t stand watching from the side-lines anymore. You hardly needed help handling matters, but you were often alone. Kept to yourself at the end of the day. As kind as you were and with as many friendly faces as you knew, no one had taken the time to dig under the surface and really know you.

And for some reason that pissed Yugyeom off.

Because he could see it; he could see your longing for companionship. He could see how hard you would try. He could see how desperately you wished to be close to your friends.

So, being the troublemaker he is, he snuck to the portal room one night and shifted into a human-form in hopes of being able to fulfill your desires. He had even chosen a form that he assumed you would find appealing after observing the type of men you usually pined for.

Shape-shifting to appear human in order to face your ward was not totally forbidden, however, it was only granted to those with explicit permission. Which of course Yugyeom did not have the patience to get, nor did he think he’d even be given. But he thought this was important, and technically he was just doing his job as a guardian-demon trying to take care of his human as best as he can. Even if that meant breaking several rules and putting himself at risk of banishment.

That never did make sense to him though. As a demon, isn’t it his duty to be on his worst behavior all the time anyway? Regardless, up to this point he never had the urge to break his extremely loose rules.

🎃

“What are you working on anyway? I can smell your frustration from over here.” Yugyeom finally sat up on your bed, bored of pretending to scroll through his phone as he watched you.

“Stop being so dramatic. It’s just this idea I’m working on and no matter what I do I just can’t seem to get it to match what’s going on in my brain.” You sighed as your head flopped down to meet your arms. Except, you really did smell quite frustrated to Yugyeom, and it reeked. Normally you smelled like fresh flowers and clean linen, but ever since he walked into your bedroom all he could smell was mildew and burnt grass.

At your admission, he perked up, “Any way I can help?” Of course he was only asking because he had to, not because he wanted to. Although, technically, he really only had to step in as a guardian if you were in “life-threatening danger.” But also technically, his nose was currently in life-threatening danger—and he’s basically immortal.

“No… I think I need to step away from it for a bit. But that stresses me out ‘cause I’m on a deadline so…”

Yugyeom opens his arms wide, and after a minute of you both staring at one another, you slowly drag yourself over to plop into his grasp. He wraps his arms around you, softly rubbing his palm up and down your back. You can feel your entire body relax into his form, and it’s like everything eases out of your body. The speed at which your scent changes almost gives him whiplash, but he can’t help the smile that slips onto his face as he closes his eyes and falls back onto your bed still holding you.

“How are you so comfortable? You’re built like a string bean and yet I feel like I’m dissolving into a cloud right now.”

“That’s what best friends are for. I’m an anti-stress cloud made just for you of course.” You moved your head and blinked at him before your mouth curled up in judgment.

“That was so cheesy and cringey.” You continued to side eye him for a minute until he smirked. “Were you making fun of me for comparing you to a cloud?” He shrugged before pushing your head back to lay against his chest. You mumbled something into his shirt, but neither of you were really sure what you said, not that it mattered anyway. All that mattered to you now was soaking up time with your cloud of a best friend, and all that mattered to him was that he managed to help alleviate your problems.

So maybe he did offer just because he wanted to. Sue him.

🎃

Something was wrong. He could feel it. It had to be something to do with you because nothing around him had changed, no obvious danger in sight. No, this definitely had to be something connected to you, and once Yugyeom was sure of it, he panicked.

Not once during his time guarding you had he ever felt this connected to your emotions, and despite his confusion, that was not the main focus of his distress. Instead, he was panicking over what exactly could have aroused such a strong and depressing emotion from you.

He rushed to conjure his illusory human-form and bound through the portal. The closer he got, the more intensely he could feel your emotions. By the time he was outside your apartment, he was able to identify the feeling as rejection and insecurity. His chest tightened, and he imagined that this was what humans felt when their hearts “broke.”

He let himself into your apartment quickly—the details on how didn’t matter; you never asked him about it anyway. His eyes flew around the kitchenette and living area but flew to your room when he didn’t spot a sign of you. He ripped the door open and sighed in relief as he noticed a singular, still-breathing, lump hidden beneath the comforter. He took three big strides to stand beside you at your bed and paused when he noticed your puffy red eyes staring straight back up at him.

In that moment it was like he knew everything. He could feel the betrayal you felt, and it was like an image manifested before him: you sat at your desk, laptop open to a video call and on the other end sat an older couple. They looked distinctly similar to you, except their faces were shrouded with anger, disappointment, and disapproval.

“What are you doing here?” You whispered out, but the sound was ruined with croaks and cracks from obviously overused vocal cords. Yugyeom found himself easily sitting down and taking your face between his hands, wiping at the already dried tear tracks.

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t protect you from them.” His face scrunched in anguish, and his own feeling of failure rose above the leftovers of yours.

“How did you know?” You looked confused, moving to sit up in your bed. The call had only finished minutes ago, and you had no time to text or tell anyone else about the matter in the time that it took you to end the call before you threw yourself under the covers with a sob. It was only several minutes later that Yugyeom had shown up looking utterly distressed.

“I could feel everything. I’ve never felt such a thing from you, but you felt so distressed and– and broken. I panicked, so I got here as fast as I could, but there’s nothing I would have been able to do to stop them. I can’t control anyone… But you still didn’t deserve what ever happened, and I’m supposed to protect you from things like this. I failed…” He rambled on, definitely saying more than he’s allowed but unable to stop himself. He didn’t know what else to do. He just wanted to do whatever he could to get you to stop feeling that way.

Your mouth agape, eyes wide, and figure stiff as you stared at Yugyeom in confusion and shock. There was no way possible that he could have known what happened, and yet he spoke as though he’d sat right next to you through the entire thing. And then he had spouted on about protecting you, and failing, and you had no idea what any of it meant. Of course it made sense to you that your best friend would want to ensure your happiness at all times, but the conviction he spoke with told you that it meant volumes more than any normal friendship. He said it as though it was his job, or his life depended on keeping you safe.

“I know you don’t fully understand what I’m saying, but I promise I’ll explain everything in time. I just need you to know that I’m here for you now, and I want to always be here for you. I don’t know what they did or said to you, but it isn’t true. You’re literally the closest thing to perfect I’ve seen in my lifetime, and I’m actually really thankful that I was assigned the privilege of meeting and guarding you… Again, I promise I will explain later.”

All you could do was nod, searching his face for anything to be wary of, but all you saw was your handsome best friend. You believed his words despite how disorienting it all felt. As your eyes continued to rake across his face, you noticed something odd and gingerly touched his cheek, letting the tip of your finger ghost over the dot under his right eye.

“This wasn’t here before…” You breathed out, and Yugyeom stiffened. The skin under your touch felt as though it’d been lit with a fire comparable to the flames of hell. He’d never felt such a physical reaction to your touch before, and he felt something stir in his stomach. His eyes slid to a mirror that resided on a wall near your bed, and sure enough, there sat a small mole on his usually smooth skin. It must have manifested when he rushed through the illusion process.

“Looks like a mole… Probably insignificant. They show up all the time.” He tried to brush it off, but he knew his time to explain was counting down. Yugyeom knew the repercussions of this could be detrimental, but he couldn’t lie to you anymore without hurting you.

Meanwhile, the longer you studied his face, the more you could see that he almost appeared otherworldly. Sure, you’d always thought him to be immaculately handsome, but this felt different. Almost ethereal. And, you were certain that this mole had basically manifested overnight.

The longer you stared, the more Yugyeom could feel nerves and anticipation bubble within him until it finally rushed out like a volcano erupting after lying dormant for decades. He stumbled over his explanation several times, and his eyes seemed to be eternally locked on a picture frame that held your favorite picture of the two of you. But, he told you the truth…

The room fell into a thick, heavy silence as he finished his word vomit. The news that your human best friend was actually a guardian demon sat rather comfortably in your mind. The revelation somehow made a lot of sense now that you thought about it, but you were lost on how to respond. Yugyeom fidgeted, feeling rather nervous for a demon who usually didn’t feel all that much at all.

Finally, you reached over and took his hand into your own, and when he looked into your eyes, he saw nothing but trust and love sparkled within.

🎃

The next time that Yugyeom was able to come see you, the mole was still a charming addition to his face.

He hadn’t been able to visit for quite awhile since the higher beings had been aware of Yugyeom spilling the truth. They had already known, since the beginning, of Yugyeom’s worldly appearances but did not interfere since it seemed as though, despite his disobedience, he was not posing as a threat to the natural order of things.

But apparently, revealing the entirety of his existence, job, and even the ability to travel between worlds was not part of the natural order. So he had to face the music and explain his motivations and reasons behind breaking his unspoken oath to secrecy.

When the council found no ill-intent, and rather suspected that there were likely actually romantic feelings behind his exposure, they let him off with a warning that relationships between supernatural beings and humans were often doomed.

Yugyeom wasn’t exactly sure why they were warning him of such a thing. His relationship with you had always been purely based on his curiosity and responsibility.

But when he faced you again, and you smiled up at him, bringing him in for a hug and then brushing a finger over the new mole again, he understood what they meant. 

For a moment, he worried about the mortality rates of humans compared to the eternity he would continue existing. But then you were pulling him into your room and snuggling up to him on your bed, surrounding him in your scent, and he didn’t care anymore. Even if your lifetime only felt like a second compared to his, he would bask in that second forever.

“I missed you, string bean.”

“I missed you too.” He breathed out, and for the first time, he actually noticed his heartbeat. “I hope you know, I plan to be by your side forever.”

“You’re being cheesy again. But… the sentiment is shared I guess.” Your head lifted slightly to press a light kiss to the underside of his chin before nestling back into his chest.

Yugyeom blinked at the action before he wrapped his arms tighter around your body, a smile overtaking his face.

“Well now you’re definitely stuck with me.”

[iwannabemyselfff]

i JUST realised he reminds me of yugyeom a lot. am i the only one??

230620 ©️ teezggasal

[justwritedreams]

House Of Cards | San

San x Reader, exes to lovers au!, mafia au!

Word count: 12.013 (hehe)

Genre: angst, suggestive, fluff at the end

Warning: mention of crimes and violence, suggestive, language, San in a pool bc that's a warning. If you don't feel comfortable DON’T READ IT!

Author: Maari

Note: Ok so that was an imagine that i wrote with got7 yugyeom but reading again i decided to repost with san, because i think it fits him more.

Summary: It seems like your ghost from the past came at the best time to save you.

Taglist: @foxinnie8

⪢ Ateez Masterlist

“Miss Y/N.” She heard her own name echo through the corridor and turned around, coming face to face with one of the security guards whose name she hadn't yet memorized.

"Yes?"

“Mr. Kim wants to see you.”

She took a deep breath. She had just arrived at the hotel, he himself had told her to go up to the presidential suite

“Tell him I’m coming.”

“Now, miss.” His serious tone made her stop in her tracks and look at the security guard with some concern.

It wouldn't be good to go against Seungho's rules. It never was.

She nodded and followed him, the shower she planned to take would have to wait a little bit.

A while ago she would have sighed at the elegance of the hotel but unfortunately for Y/N, she was starting to get used to that life.

Well, used to wasn't quite the word. Conformed was more certain.

As she predicted, the security guard took her to a private area of the hotel, she was sure that Seungho had requested that only he frequent that place and with the great influence he had, it wasn't denied.

Y/N approached him alone and in silence, seeing him sitting in an armchair staring at the glass of whiskey he held.

"Wanted to see me?" She crossed her arms behind her body and swallowed hard when he looked at her.

She hated the weight of his eyes on her.

"Come here." he patted his own leg and she got the message, taking a deep breath before sitting on his lap.

Seungho ran his free hand down Y/N's back and stopped at the base of her lower back, the smell of alcohol was permeating his pores and it was enough for her to realize that this wasn't the first glass of whiskey.

Y/N didn't understand the sudden affection until he approached and kissed her lips, as always in a thirsty and quick way that caused absolutely nothing to Y/N.

Except disgust.

"You didn't call me here just to kiss me, did you?" she questioned, raising her eyebrow.

"No, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it." he approached once more but Y/N immediately avoided it. "Alright, I need you to stay by my side while I partner up."

He held out the glass of whiskey and she held it, reluctantly, her brow furrowed.

"Why? You're not going to introduce me as your girlfriend, right?" His eyes dropped to the small neckline of Y/N's dress.

She would have shifted uncomfortably if she hadn't been in his lap, that might have given him ideas she didn't want him to have.

"Don't be silly, of course not." Seungho's cold tone didn't even shock Y/N. "You know women with your beauty make business easier."

She blinked and blinked, in disbelief.

"Do you want me to seduce a future partner?" she asked, not as incredulous as she would have been in the past. This had been quite common, actually.

"No, I don't want you to go to bed with him." He responded possessively and angrily. "I just want you to give us the privilege of admiring your beauty." his hand ran up the spine to the back of Y/N's head.

She took a deep breath, she hated having to do that ridiculous act but it wasn't like she could say no, she never could.

"Okay, I'm just going to change my clothes." She got up from his lap, she was ready to get out of there, but Seungho held her by the hip.

"No, he's already coming." Seungho got up from the chair and moved his hand away from her body. "You look pretty sexy anyway." he spoke quietly, making her understand that his partner was closer than she imagined.

She lowered her head to look at her own heels, she should have chosen another dress before going to the hotel. That one seemed too short for her own taste but what could she do if Seungho had liked it and the pair of black high heels?

She lived to please him.

Noticing that she was still holding the glass, she downed the whiskey in one go so that she could gain a little more confidence to do the dirty work.

"Mr. Kim." the partner spoke friendly and Y/N swallowed the alcohol, which went down her throat and felt her heart stop when she heard his voice.

She knew that voice…

"Please, call me Seungho. Sit down."

Y/N lowered her head and opened her eyes, watching as Seungho pointed to the front seat and the two did so, with shaky legs she sat in the seat next to Seungho's and her eyes stopped on the future partner's hands.

Years could pass, but she would never forget those hands, not when they showed so many times the love that their owner felt for Y/N.

With complete certainty that this was really who she thought, she raised her head after letting out a sigh and her eyes met his for the first time in so many years, making her press her fingers against the empty glass she was holding.

Y/N felt a mix of emotions, her hands started to shake just with his eyes fixed on her, she didn't fail to notice that he analyzed her quickly before turning his gaze to Seungho, she got goosebumps from head to toe and asked herself how could he still do that to her? And what was he actually doing there?

"Choi San, right?" Seungho asked, making Y/N return to reality.

"Correct."

"Your secretary called me."

"We are very interested in a partnership with you, Seungho. I believe it will bring benefits to both parties, as my partner has already explained everything to you." the two maintained a rigid posture but unlike Seungho, San was elegant.

Of course, the gray suit San wore was very different from the hoodies he had and that she remembered, it suited the formal atmosphere they were in but it went beyond his appearance.

San's aura was different, as he was ready for that.

"Yes, it was a very productive meeting."

"I'm just here to finish the deal." San quickly looked at Y/N and a smile appeared on his face.

This disconcerted her, and she left the glass on the arm of the chair and clasped her sweaty hands to try to hide her nervousness.

"Well, I can pay you the first million right now if you want." She rolled her eyes discreetly, Seungho loved showing off how rich he was. "Just a minute." He got up from the chair and looked at Y/N quickly, walking away, leaving her alone there and ready to collapse.

If Seungho wanted her to seduce San now, that was a bad time.

But it wasn't surprising since he had never learned to read the atmosphere when she was near, he never noticed when she was uncomfortable or happy, because for him it didn't make any difference.

She looked back at San, still feeling vulnerable about being in front of him again after so many years and took in every detail of his face that she had never been able to forget.

He was different. His face was no longer so thin and youthful, now his features were stronger, more masculine.

The black hair that she remembered falling into his eyes was now perfectly pushed back and the side cut made him look much more handsome and mature.

Even in a suit and tie, she could see that he wasn't as thin as he used to be.

He was no longer the boy she had known, he was a man and very attractive one.

Her body vibrated for her to come closer and she felt her fingers tingle to touch his face one last time, like she hadn't had the opportunity in the past.

He continued to analyze her from top to bottom, much longer, which made her tremble all over.

Taking a deep breath, she decided to find the courage to do what Seungho had told her to do.

"You're getting a great deal, you'll be very pleased." the attempt to use a seductive tone failed due to the way her body was reacting.

She looked like a robot programmed to say that.

“That’s what they say, but it’s not the business I’m interested in.” San seemed to know very well how to use his voice in a low tone and something inside her warmed in a way that hadn't happened in a long time.

Y/N was left with no response and Seungho returned, probably thinking she had gotten what he wanted.

Little did he know that the spell had turned against the sorceress.

“What do you say we play poker while we settle the transaction, San?”

"It would be amazing." he got up from the chair and Y/N's eyes followed him.

She got up from the chair but made to go to the other side towards the uncovered part of that area, but she didn't even take two steps as Seungho held her arm tightly.

"Where do you think you're going?"

“I think the little act of being your luxury slut was enough for today.” she responded firmly and he tightened his grip on her arm, to the point of hurting it.

“Don’t play with me, Y/N, I want you by my side until the transaction is over.” His eyes were fixed on her face and for a brief moment, she was afraid.

Looking to the side, she noticed that San was watching them a little further behind Seungho, with his jaw clenched and with a rigid expression.

“I’m not going to sit at that table and watch you play that fuck poker that destroyed my life.” she turned her gaze to Seungho who now seemed to have understood. “You really like torturing me, don't you?”

“One day you’re going to have to stop blaming the cards, my love.” he let go of her arm, and Y/N controlled herself from crying.

It would be pointless and pathetic.

He walked away from her with a wry smile and passed by San, who stood there for a few seconds staring at Y/N until he shook his head and followed him.

She left there, feeling suffocated and her legs were shaking like never before, no longer able to control her tears, she leaned against the wall and looked at the clear sky, all the memories that she had been forced to bury came back with much more intensity.

[...]

7 years ago

“Get out of my house, please.” she begged without having the courage to look into his dark, gentle eyes, she would weaken if she did, especially if he was crying like her.

“Y/N, explain to me what’s going on.” he pleaded and she had to choke back a sob.

"It's over. Go away." She touched the door handle with her back to him, she was about to open it when he gently grabbed her arm.

“Something happened, right?" she took a deep breath before looking at him, feeling her heart break into thousands of pieces and sink into her stomach.

“What happened is that I don’t want you anymore, San. Don't insist." Her voice came out shaky and she knew she hadn't convinced him yet, she was about to break down in front of him but she couldn't. “We’re too young, it would never work.”

"Are you sure about that?" San slowly let go of her arm and looked at her completely lost.

She didn't respond, just opened the door with a silent message for him to leave.

No scene broke her heart like that when she saw him leaving with his head down, hands in his pants pockets and a tear running down his face.

She needed all the strength she didn't even know she had left to ignore the urge to hug him and tell him how much she loved him. Instead, Y/N closed the door and fell to the floor, now without needing or being able to control her crying.

She cried about so many things, she couldn't even list or understand what he cried most about, but she was sure she had made the biggest mistake of her life.

She had never felt so empty.

She was angry, scared, sorry and most of all, she was sad.

Because she had lost the only joy in her life, for a mistake that wasn't hers, for a decision that wasn't hers.

“Daughter…” Y/N looked at the stairs and saw her father coming down the steps, deflated and with a guilty expression.

She passed her hand over her face, drying her tears and got up from the floor. With long and silent steps, she walked past her father with the intention of locking herself in her room.

She would still have that night to sleep in her bed.

"I'm so-"

“Don’t finish that sentence.” She turned angrily, glaring at her father as she sighed. “I did what you wanted, now leave me alone.”

[...]

In recent years, Y/N has tried to erase that memory from her head. She didn't want to relive it like she did in the first nights when her life had changed, when she was brought back to reality with nightmares.

She didn't want to feel again the hurt she had towards her father for doing that to her and even less did she want to feel her heart break again when remembered San being devastated because she had broken up with him.

Even though she had managed to bury that day in the depths of her consciousness, that emptiness was always there.

And now here she was, being haunted by the ghosts of her past and crying like the heartbroken teenager she once was.

She wiped her face, thankful for her makeup being waterproof, approaching the balcony and surveying the bustling city.

A wave of nostalgia washed over her. She missed home, the happy moments she lived that were now just memories, she even missed her father. But mostly, she missed who she used to be.

The girl who had dreams and insecurities, which were always hushed up by San.

He was always everything for her, the kisses he distributed on her face and the convinced way he said that she would achieve everything she dreamed of, made her believe at the time.

She stayed there for a long time in silence, alone and without security guards watching her every step, making her feel free.

“It’s a wonderful view.” Y/N jumped in fright when she heard San's voice so close.

Looking to the side, she noticed he was next to her.

How and when did he get there?

“Yeah, the city is amazing.” she replied, still feeling her heart beating faster, she just didn't know if it was because of the scare or just because of him.

“I wasn’t talking about the city.” she felt San's eyes boring into her and a shiver ran down the back of her neck.

Since when was San so direct like that? Who had he learned to be like this from?

“Aren’t you supposed to be playing poker or something?” she changed the subject, still looking at the city.

“An hour ago I was.”

Y/N frowned.

Hour? Had she stayed there for an hour?

“So you closed the deal.” She took a deep breath and found the courage to look at him.

San nodded silently.

“You don’t seem very happy about this.” he smiled sideways, leaning on a pillar.

Happy? She didn't even know what that was anymore.

“I just hope you know what you’re getting into.” she shrugged, sighing.

“Why don’t you explain it to me?” San looked at her intensely and she returned it, unable to look away.

She could, a part of her screamed at her to do so, but she knew what she had to lose and she couldn't risk it, not now that he was there and she couldn't protect him from Seungho's fury.

"You wouldn't understand."

“Maybe I should warn you.” he took a step towards her while keeping his tone serious, without looking away.

“I'm not kidding, San. Be careful."

 Y/N's intention was to get out of there quickly, but he stopped her from continuing when he gently grabbed her wrist.

The contact made her stop, her heart beating faster. Feeling his touch again was everything she had asked for, being close to him was much more than she thought she deserved.

“So let’s be clear that I’m not kidding either.” She could practically feel his breath, his face was so close she could touch it at any moment if she stayed there. “In nothing I did or said today.” She swallowed hard and looked at him, seeing the conviction in his dark eyes and once again, she was left speechless.

She wanted to cry, for so many nights she had dreamed of those same eyes and it seemed like a dream that he was there so close to her and at the same time so far away, because even though he was the San she knew, he was no longer the same.

He had a certain power, a fire in his iris that she had never seen before, that she couldn't identify.

But it was very different from the way Seungho looked at her as if she were his property.

Y/N's eyes went down to San's lips, they looked extremely inviting and she wondered if it still tasted the same, the attention she returned to San's mouth didn't go unnoticed by him as he wet his lips with his own tongue.

Before she could get even closer to him, Y/N blinked a few times until she remembered where she was and who she was with, if Seungho arrived at that moment it wouldn't be good, especially for San.

Thinking about it, against every cell in her body she pulled away from San and his touch.

“Have a good day, San.”

She got out of there as quickly as her feet would allow her before she did something she would regret later, she didn't look back and was thankful once again that she was without security guards.

She arrived at reception and Seungho was leaning on the counter with his phone to his ear.

“Y/N!” he called with his free hand and turned his attention to someone else on the other end of the line. “Matt, I already took care of all that.” She approached him paying attention to the conversation, it was probably something related to their return. “You know she's good for much more than that. Okay, I’ll be there.” he hung up, huffing.

"Problems?" Y/N asked without the slightest interest.

“I have to receive a load today from the other side of town and they require my presence.” he informed, irritated.

“I’ll go upstairs and get our bags then.” she pointed to the elevator and was ready to go when he stopped her, raising his hand.

“No, Y/N.” he scratched his head and she knew something was wrong. “I haven’t finished the entire transaction with San yet.” she crossed her arms, waiting for him to finish. “And you know this hotel does business with me.”

"I know that."

That part of the city was heavily influenced by Seungho. Hotels, banks, even the hospital operated when and how he wanted.

“A luxurious dinner will be held to welcome Mr. Choi.”

“What’s all this-” she frowned.

“I need you to accompany him to this party and explain that I had an unforeseen event but we will finish tomorrow when I arrive.” he interrupted her and Y/N felt her expression fall.

Would she be alone with San for a whole night by his side?

"What?" She didn't want to show despair but it had become difficult after that. “No… I can’t… I can’t.”

Explaining to him what was really going through her head was out of the question.

“I need this partnership. Matt will be with me and you are the only one who can be here representing me.”

“Postpone receiving the load then.” she shrugged and he took a deep breath, visibly irritated. “I’m not you, I don’t have to deal with your business.”

It wasn't part of the role she had played in those years. For business, she was just the statue that if she winked at the partners, with the right clothes, she could make them close the deal faster.

Seungho was too jealous to let her be alone with a man for two hours, let alone an entire night.

This then meant that whatever the deal was with San, he didn't want to risk losing it.

Annoyed, he held Y/N by her arm with a somewhat unnecessary force, making her look into his eyes, to see that he was serious.

“I'm not asking you to accompany him, I'm ordering you to.” In fear, she lowered her head, giving up. “Don’t worry, my love.” He got closer and his mouth met her ear. “Tomorrow we will have all day to make up for the time we lost.”

She wanted to laugh but held back, sleeping with him was the last thing on her mind at the moment.

In fact, her mind was too busy with images of San in a suit.

[...]

Y/N spent the entire afternoon getting ready for dinner at the hotel with the help of a small team that Seungho hired to make her look magnificent.

Small because she had begged him, she wasn't a Hollywood actress after all, a football team taking care of her appearance for a simple dinner was unnecessary.

He had made it very clear before leaving that she must use every trick to convince San to wait until tomorrow. For Seungho, this was her only role, to seduce his partners.

Seduce, never go to bed with them.

Because for Seungho, she had to have her eyes focused only on him, and according to his theory, the more instigated to have Y/N, the more the partners would be committed to maintaining an agreement.

Basically, she was there to make these men fools, believing that one day they could have something with her behind Seungho's back.

At eight o'clock at night she was ready and couldn't deny that the job had been well done.

The red dress was long with a strap on one side and a detail at the waist that made it much more elegant, black sandals on her feet and ruby earrings that Seungho had given her, like the countless expensive jewelry she had been receiving in recent years.

She believed that he gifted her with expensive and luxurious things just to keep her with him, as if it made her wonder if she could live without flaunting the good life she had achieved.

Each piece of jewelry increased her indifference towards him, because it made her feel like she had been bought by him again.

The makeup had highlighted Y/N's face in an elegant way and she insisted on wearing red lipstick, she was trying her best to do the job, finally her hair was left loose but left aside.

She even tried to take a deep breath when she left the room but she couldn't lie to herself in that situation, she was nervous. More than that, she was anxious!

Seungho had left one of his security guards to take care of her, of course he wouldn't be that stupid, but when she arrived at the main hall and saw San smiling at some people he was talking to friendly, Y/N totally forgot about security or anything else.

It would be cliché to say that she couldn't take her eyes off him, but it was the truth, he looked wonderful. Breathtaking.

He wasn't as formal as he was in the morning, he was wearing a suit but without a blazer, just a black vest, the sleeves of his white blouse were rolled up to his elbows with the first two buttons open and his tie was slightly loosened.

He had his hair pulled back but with a few strands in his face.

God, even if he tried hard for 20 years he wouldn't be able to get ugly.

San realized he was being watched and looked towards Y/N, smiling brightly at her and he came to meet her quickly.

“Miss Y/N.” He took her hand and kissed it gently, like a perfect gentleman and it was enough to make her heart skip a beat, and her legs tremble slightly. “You look gorgeous.”

She smiled restrainedly.

“Thank you, Mr. Choi, I must say you look really nice too.” she tried to keep her tone formal to keep the theater for security.

"Would you like something to drink?" he looked at the security guard and she understood what he was planning.

"Of course." she replied and he put his arm through hers, she looked at the security guard who was watching them closely. “You don’t need to follow me, I’m fine.” she ordered and he agreed, stopping where he was and San took her away.

“The compliment was true.” he said without looking at her face.

"So was mine." she replied quietly, feeling her cheeks burn.

“You got a babysitter from your boyfriend, huh?”

Y/N could feel the jealousy in his voice and it made her smile discreetly.

“The babysitter isn’t for me, it’s for you.”

They arrived at the mini bar and he ordered two drinks.

“Is he afraid you’ll fall for my charms?” he turned to face her and got closer, making Y/N get lost in his scent.

That was it, she was intoxicated by everything about him. The smell, his voice, the heat of his body, which wasn't enough because she knew he was much hotter than that, she just needed to get closer.

“Actually, he’s afraid you’ll run away.”

“And you’re here to make sure I stay?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.

She searched in her head a decent answer but all that came out was just the truth.

“I’m here to make you stay.” she said even though she wished she could do otherwise.

If she had the power, she would make San move far away from her and Seungho, for his own good.

“And how do you intend to do that?” he took a step forward, their bodies practically touching. It was incredible, it seemed like he could read her mind.

Because she wanted to get closer, enough to put her hands on his broad shoulders.

“He asked me to seduce you.” she replied quietly and couldn't take her eyes off his mouth.

“Can you do it or will I seduce you first?”

Y/N didn't imagine that San would be so sexy like that and as dangerous as that game was, she was loving it.

What she remembered was a much shyer and not so confident San.

She held back the urge to bite her lip.

“You’re going to need a lot more than whispers to seduce me.”

Of course, as if she could convince herself of that.

He had just approached her and she was already feeling weak in the knees.

“That’s what we’ll see.” San smirked and walked away at the exact moment the bartender brought the drinks.

He handed the drink to Y/N who drank some while observing the room.

She managed to identify at least three more Seungho's bodyguard, and it wasn't surprising since she knew he would never leave just one of his men watching her.

Not when she had already tried to escape from him a few times in the past, without success, obviously.

No matter where she went, whoever she asked for help, Kim always found her and brought her back.

She was so lost in her analysis that she didn't notice when San brought his mouth to her ear to whisper.

“Can I show you something?”

She suppressed a smile and took a deep breath before looking at him, seeing him smile so close to her.

His smile still had the same effect on her, as if the sun had risen in the cloudy sky. It was the light in the midst of darkness.

It wasn't like she had the strength to deny it.

He held out his free hand and she took it, being led out of the room soon after.

The party took place near the pool and only a thick, red curtain separated the two places, Y/N sighed as she observed the full moon, which was brighter than usual, she had never seen it so beautiful.

San let go of her hand only to sit on one of the lounge chairs, she turned to face him when she felt the touch disappear and came closer but still remained standing.

“What did you want to show me?” she asked, quite curious.

“Nothing, I just wanted to be alone with you.” he confessed, resting his hands behind his head after placing the drink on the floor.

Y/N swallowed hard at the movement, as his arms were in evidence and she thought it more prudent to remain silent, this time returning her gaze to the crystal clear water of the pool, feeling not only her cheeks heat up but also her heart.

It seemed like even if she wanted to bury the old version of her that night, she couldn't.

“I know it’s been years, but I want you to know that I never gave up on you.”

She looked at him at the same moment, San didn't take his eyes off her and spoke with such conviction that it left her speechless.

All she wanted was to be able to throw herself into his lap and kiss him all at once. Only if the situation had been different, if they hadn't met again like that...

But time wasn't fair to them, it wasn't in the past and it wasn't now.

“I think I prefer it when you flirt with me.” Unable to contain herself, she spoke out loud and wanted to beat herself up for it.

“I can do that too.” he shrugged, getting up from the lounge chair. “I can do a lot of things.” He got closer and she felt her body go still at the short distance. This was the time she should take a step back, right? “Especially the ones you want.” she felt his hand on her wrist, going up her elbow in a pleasant way and making goose bumps go up her arm.

Damn it.

Y/N held the glass tightly, trying her best to remember what she was there for and especially what she shouldn't do.

San noticed the tension and took the dronk out of her hand, ending the sudden affection, placing it on the floor but Y/N wasn't prepared for what would come next, thinking he would just stare deeply at her like he had been doing.

But one of his hands found her waist while his mouth found her cheek, placing a soft, lingering kiss on the warm skin.

“You shouldn’t tease me like that.” She closed her eyes, letting herself go for a few seconds.

“Afraid to like it?” he asked close to her ear and his mouth went down to Y/N's chin, involuntarily one of her hands tightened on the arm that was holding her waist.

"This is wrong." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper.

It was? Wasn't she on board with Kim's plan?

“But you want that." He bit her chin, and she could feel him smiling.

"No." although her mouth said something, Y/N's body said the exact opposite. She dug her nails into San's arm and felt her body getting weaker and weaker.

She mentally begged him to kiss her and end that miserable tension.

“Y/N…” she stifled a moan when she heard her name being spoken so quietly by San’s seductive voice.

It was wrong and dangerous, but why did it feel so right?

She felt that San was about to kiss her, she felt his breath against her mouth and no matter how much her rational side screamed for her to stay away, her emotional side was controlling everything because that was what she wanted from the moment she saw him in the morning.

She had missed so much being in his arms, feeling loved, protected.

She felt San's lips so close, her own hands going up to his shoulders and she was ready to give in, when his lips touched hers just enough to make a slight tickle, the image of Seungho with a gun appeared in her head.

"No!"

Y/N pushed San and suddenly he no longer held her, not even his perfume covered the radius they were in, she opened her eyes to find him startled.

She took two steps back, placing her hands on her forehead, now regaining lucidity.

What was she thinking? How could she think of putting him in danger like that?

“Don’t do that” she trembled, feeling her eyes tear up. “I’m trying to protect you.”

“But, Y/N…” he took a step towards her and she raised her hand, asking him to stop right there.

He obeyed, confused and hurt.

"You wouldn't understand." she shook her head to get the image of Seungho finishing him off from her mind.

“Maybe if you explained it I could.”

She ran her hand over her own arm, not knowing what to say. If he continued to insist, she would eventually give in and things wouldn't end well.

San followed the movement and his eyes stopped at a specific place.

“What’s that scar on your arm?” he asked and she automatically stared at her own skin.

Y/N blamed herself for not choosing a long-sleeved dress, mainly because the scar was recent so it was lighter and she hadn't even remembered about it.

"I need to go." Once again she deviated from the subject, if she continued there she would end up saying everything she shouldn't have and that was definitely out of the question.

She would never forgive herself if something happened to San because she had told him everything, even if that was her wish. To finally clear things up, after so long.

She ran out of there as best she could, avoiding passing through the room where that damn party was taking place and hoped that San wouldn't go after her, deep down she knew he would leave her alone after that outburst but she only became calmer when the elevator doors closed with a bang, her inside that cubicle.

Unable to control it any longer, she let the tears she had been holding back for a long time fall, it seemed like an eternity before she arrived at the presidential suite.

She stumbled into the elevator because of her tears and took the opportunity to take off her heels right there, she no longer cared about her appearance as she had been taken care of for hours. Seungho's plan hadn't worked anyway so screw the party, the appearances and all that stupid luxury.

When she arrived, she threw her heels in any corner of the huge, cold room as she closed the door behind her, ran her fingers through her hair and took off her dress without any will.

All she wanted most was to lie in bed and sleep for a good twenty years.

And even she tried, she knew it wouldn't be easy to sleep that night, not after everything that had happened and to make even worse, everything she had tried to forget about the past was playing intensely in her head.

The memories she had with San, all the first times with him, from when they met until the day she broke up with him, her happy childhood and her difficult adolescence of having to deal with her father's addiction that affected the entire family.

Hugging the pillow, she let the tears fall again as she lay there alone once again, as it had been repeating since her father had spoken the harsh words that had changed her life.

[...]

It was already past 10 am when Y/N decided to leave the room and go to the pool, the weather was nice to take a few dips and that would help her forget everything that had happened, at least for a few hours until she was away from that hotel.

She put on a very simple white bikini, a long white button-down blouse so she wouldn't be walking around the hotel with nothing covering her body, white flip-flops and big glasses to hide the dark circles under her eyes from last night.

Luckily for her the pool area was empty and Seungho's security hadn't come after her so far, which meant she was free for who knows how long, she left her things on one of the sun loungers and her sunglasses were also left behind.

It didn't take long to enjoy the warm water, trying to wash away any traces of guilt and uncertainty.

After wetting her hair and swimming a little, she leaned against the edge, closing her eyes and feeling the sun on her skin as if it were giving her strength back.

She tried not to think about anything, just wanted to enjoy some time she didn't usually have, alone and quiet with her own conscience.

She felt the water become more agitated but she didn't pay any attention, she was feeling so light that she didn't even care that someone was there too.

The pool was big enough for that.

However, when she realized that someone was too close, she couldn't help but open her eyes and look at whoever it was.

Y/N need to rest her arms on the edge of the pool when she saw San standing in front of her with a shy smile and no shirt.

She had a very privileged view of San's bare torso, she knew he had gotten stronger but she couldn't imagine how much and she couldn't even disguise the way her eyes observed San's broad and strong shoulders, going down his chest. She couldn't see his abs clearly because the water was getting in the way of having a clear view of how defined he was, but realizing that he was there in just black swim trunks made her lose her train of thought completely.

Even with the water distorting a little, she could see how thick his thighs were.

Okay, San had turned into a personification of some Greek god and she couldn't stop looking at him to burn every bit of him into her memory, which conflicted when she remembered what he was like in the past.

She had never imagined that he could be so… hot.

She cleared her throat, trying unsuccessfully to hide it, and looked away, missing the opportunity to see his raised eyebrow.

“I didn’t think I’d see you so soon.” she spoke quietly.

“I was worried about you.” he admitted firmly and she swallowed hard.

“Let’s not talk about last night, please.” she pleaded, sighing and looking back at him.

San was serious, not mad at her, but he seemed to be trying to figure her out.

“We will need to talk one day, Y/N.”

“If that's why you came here…” she started to leave, but was stopped by San who put his arm on the edge of the pool and brought his body closer to hers, still without truly touching her. "What do you want?" she asked, pretending to be impatient.

He put his other arm on the other side, trapping her there and Y/N had nothing to do but look him in the eyes.

“Does he hit you?” it was simple and direct, making her jaw drop slightly.

"What…?" She released a breath that until then she hadn't even realized she had been holding. "Who?" She tried to pretend she didn't understand.

San cocked his head to the side, only to stare at her more intensely.

“Kim Seungho.” he spoke the name between his teeth. “Does he hit you, Y/N?” he asked, this time his tone became more serious and his eyes locked with hers.

He already knew the answer without her even answering, but he wasn't going to give up so easily because the only thing he needed was for her to tell the truth and then they could find an alternative.

"No!" she replied desperately, her voice became even thinner. “I mean, where did you get that idea?” she crossed her arms, trying to be defensive but she was actually scared.

If San found out the truth, she didn't know what he might do.

“That scar wasn’t made for a silly reason and now seeing you in that bikini, in addition to seeing that your body is still beautiful, I can also see some purple on your legs and belly.”

She swallowed hard, trying to think quickly of a convincing answer.

“The scar… I've had it since, uh, I was a kid” she forced her throat to stop stuttering but his attentive eyes weren't helping. “and the purple ones… well, I’m very distracted.”

“Do you think I don’t remember all your scars, Y/N?” He brought his face closer to hers and she didn't have the strength to turn away. “I had the image of your body in my head for years, I remember every inch of you.” she felt her body shiver and sighed slowly. “Tell me the truth, Y/N. Please." he pleaded.

One of his hands touched Y/N's face, making a pleasant caress and she couldn't stop herself from closing her eyes when she felt the soft touch.

“That’s a low blow.” she spoke quietly, fighting her eyes that insisted on closing.

"And yeah?" she could feel he was smiling. “You know, I remember you loved a kiss below your ear.”

Of course she loved it mainly because only he knew about it.

She couldn't think about much or open her eyes because his mouth was already practicing what his voice announced.

Y/N put her hand on San's shoulder and found that the sun did a great job of warming their bodies, but their skin wasn't the only thing that was hot there.

Her hand squeezed San's exposed skin, suppressing a moan as she felt his breath right next to her neck. She was unable to reason with that sudden approach, nor even breathe properly like a normal person.

"So?" he asked, lips touched her skin as he spoke but Y/N was too lost in that sensation to remember what his question was.

San moved his face away and she opened her eyes at the same moment, missing the contact, he looked at her, urging her to respond.

"What?" was all she could say.

“Y/N, I’m waiting for an answer.” He raised an eyebrow and she felt her legs tremble again.

Her mouth suddenly became dry and she had to use her own tongue to wet it, a movement that didn't go unnoticed by San.

“Do you think… I have the capacity… to talk after this?” she was panting and hadn't even kissed him.

San laughed softly, his dimple showing.

“Good to know I still have some power over you.” he said, cocky.

“It’s so much more than that, Sannie.” he smiled sadly at the old nickname. “I have always loved you and I will always love you.” her hands went to his face, making him look deep into her eyes. “But I can’t tell you, forgive me.” she said, seeing him take a deep breath. “Please don’t continue with this transition, cancel this damn partnership. This is all too dangerous and I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. I just…” she looked down, unable to continue, water was calm but a storm was still coming.

San brought a hand to her chin, making their eyes meet again.

"Just…?" he urged her to continue.

“I’m afraid of losing you again.” she confessed, straightforward.

San didn't say anything and neither did she dare continue, she had already said too much, he then brought his face closer to hers and ended that distance once and for all, Y/N could only close her eyes when San's soft and warm lips touched hers. So softly that it made her sigh against the kiss.

He didn't deepen the kiss or move his lips, he kept the touch for a few seconds that lasted for eternity and Y/N felt her eyes water even though they were closed, the hand that was still on Y/N's chin went down to her the back of her neck when he broke the kiss and her heart seemed to want to jump out of her mouth, she didn't even know how she was still standing.

Without the courage to open her eyes, because she knew she would cry like a child in front of him, Y/N didn't expect San to hug her so tightly that it sounded like a goodbye, the kind that leaves you breathless.

She grabbed him by the neck and rested her face on his shoulder while the tears ran down her face and got lost on San's skin, she could have stayed there hugging him forever.

San ran his hands down her spine and caressed her, feeling his breath on the back of her neck, Y/N closed her eyes to enjoy the feeling of being safe even if for that brief moment.

The sun burning on their skin lasted as long as the hug, which none of them had any idea how long it had lasted, but it had been enough to strengthen Y/N.

“Never forget what I said.” she spoke quietly and walked away, feeling cold and empty again when she no longer had San's warmth surrounding her, and swam towards the stairs.

She wanted to keep that image of him smiling and welcoming her, that was the reason she didn't look back as she got out of the pool and picked up her things from where she had left them.

She hoped that one day San would understand why she kept a secret from him and who knows, he could even one day forgive her. 

She knew that she had hurt him in the past but it wasn't because she was cruel, she was just trying to protect the one she loved. Including San.

She looked at her feet on the way back to reception and was ready to go to her room, but that wasn't exactly what happened.

A pair of expensive shoes stopped in front of her, stopping her from continuing on her way and she would have been rude if she hadn't been taken by surprise.

Seungho was in front of her with his arms crossed and his expression not at all pleasant.

“Beautiful scene, I think it deserves applause.” his voice was cold and he didn't even blink, she knew what was coming next and even so it didn't stop her from starting to shake with fear. “I’m just going to ask once, what the fuck was that?”

[...]

Y/N tried not to sob loudly but despair and fear were speaking louder this time, she didn't even know which floor she was on and she couldn't even think about stepping into reception.

With all of Seungho's security guards downstairs, all that was left for her was to sit on the floor of one of the floors of that hotel while she felt weak and helpless.

She brought her hand to her mouth to try to muffle the sound but when she felt liquid in the corner, she pulled it away and stared at the blood on her finger.

Her blood wouldn't be the only one that would be spilled, she felt anger take over her body and rubbed her hand with the other to try to get the blood out.

“Y/N?”

She looked to the side and even though her vision was blurry because of her tears, she recognized San and sighed with relief. 

San knelt in front of her and touched her chin, the lighting in the hallway was low but it didn't stop him from noticing some things, Y/N brought a hand to San's face to make sure he was really there with her.

"What happened to you?" He made to put his hand on her face but decided not to when he saw the tears that were still flowing. "Come with me."

He picked her up slowly, Y/N felt her ribs throb but ignored it as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He walked to the end of the hallway and opened the door to one of the rooms, from which she could see that it was the one he was staying in. 

San placed her carefully on the edge of the bed and ran to lock the door, turning on the light in the room and Y/N's eyes watered even more.

In addition to irritation, shame too.

“Can you turn off the light, please?” her voice was weak and choked, she saw San's shoulders sag and looked away from him.

He did as she asked, leaving the room for a few minutes until he returned with a first aid kit.

Y/N took a deep breath and he approached, kneeling in front of her and held her gaze, when she saw that he wasn't going to say anything she looked at him and nodded, accepting that he would treat her injuries.

San did everything necessary and when she hissed in pain, he gently stroked her arm, looking closely at her.

“It was him, wasn’t it?” asked quietly after a quite time in silence, she noticed that he was controlling himself to remain calm.

Without the courage to respond and without any confidence in her own voice, she just nodded, listening to him take two deep breaths.

“How long has this been going on?” Y/N stared at him firmly this time, seeing him with his jaw clenched.

She wasn't ready to hear the answer but it was fair to him, even more so now that he was in danger.

"7 years." she replied quietly, shrugging her shoulders.

San got up from the ground, scratching the back of his head and then clenching his fists.

“That’s since…” his breathing got heavier. Since she had broken up with him, yes. “Y/N, you need to report this guy.” He knelt in front of her again and looked into her eyes, which were already teary again. “You need to step away.”

Carefully, San held her hands, bringing the comfort she needed at the moment.

"I can't."

"You must." he encouraged her and she shook her head, looking in any corner of the room.

“San, I can’t.”

"And why not?" he asked in disbelief.

“Seungho is influential. If I send him to jail for a few days, he might…” she trailed off, completely panicked just thinking about the possibility.

"Might what?" he instigated, he needed an answer and one that would convince him.

“Go after the one I love.” a sob was stuck in her throat. “You don’t understand, San. I have no choice, I can’t betray him, I can barely say no to him.”

He slowly pulled away and she took the opportunity to bring her hand to her face, wiping away the trail of tears.

Her head hurt, her eyes burned, her body was tired and she didn't know what to do. She was terrified.

"What do you mean by that?" He narrowed his eyes and she looked down, already knowing where he was going. “Can’t you say no to anything?”

She nodded silently.

It was difficult to speak out loud, even more so to relive everything she had been through with Seungho in recent years, even though she felt absolutely nothing for him other than contempt, touching those wounds hurt.

“If I dare to say no, this happens.” she pointed to her face.

San looked at her worriedly, his gaze more attentive than ever.

“Y/N…” she fell silent, waiting for him to continue. “Did he force you to do something you didn’t want to?”

San didn't need to say or emphasize the specific word because she didn't need to, she just lowered her head in shame. She couldn't look him in the eye.

"Yes." Y/N didn't even hear her own voice admit it.

All that seemed to have been enough for him, who was now shaking and keeping his hands clenched, the vein in his neck was popping out and he stared at the wall behind Y/N with hatred.

“I will kill him with my own hands.” he spoke slowly, getting ready to get up

"No!" she held San by the hand, preventing him from taking any steps. “San please don’t go.”

She despaired. That's what Kim was wanting.

After having "taught her a lesson", Seungho was very clear that he wouldn't stop until he killed San for having dared to touch what was his, for having had the audacity to kiss Y/N.

She couldn't even say anything, it wasn't like she was going to tell the truth about San's identity or else things would be much worse. Seungho wouldn't only kill San, he would torture him for finding out that he was the one she loved.

And she knew he wasn't joking, his bodyguards were in the lobby to make sure San wouldn't leave there. It didn't matter if he was alive or dead.

"Don't ask me-"

“Don’t leave me here alone.” She tried to get out of bed in a hurry but all she managed to do was trip over her own feet thanks to her throbbing leg.

San was faster and held her by the waist, helping her sit on the bed again very carefully.

“Y/N, don’t get up.” His hand stopped on her thigh, checking if she was okay.

“I just want to forget everything that happened.” she sighed, looking at him sadly.

Maybe it wasn't the best time for it, but San was the only person who could make her forget even her own name and that's what she needed.

“I want to be your Y/N again.” she touched his face, the words seemed to have an effect on him, he understood what she meant but was reluctant. “I just want to feel your touch, even if it’s for one night.”

Y/N's hands slowly trailed down his neck to his hard pecs and his eyes wavered momentarily.

“You’re hurt,” he reminded, voice lower. “I can't-” she put her finger to his mouth, shushing him.

“The only thing I can’t take anymore is this distance.”

San swallowed hard and held her wrist, still undecided whether to push her away or not. It was clear that he wanted this as much as she did, but he was afraid of hurting her.

“I thought that’s what you wanted to do in that pool.”

He looked at her firmly, reading if she had any trace of doubt, but when he realized that she was convinced of what she wanted, he brought his body closer to hers so slowly that it left her intoxicated and his hands went to her waist. 

His eyes focused on her mouth and he brought their faces closer, leaving her anxious for what was to come.

But San didn't rush things, quite the opposite, still without putting their lips together he ran his nose along the length of Y/N's face from one side to the other, feeling the soft texture of her skin against him, one he had never forgotten.

Y/N sighed and closed her eyes, her hands still on San's chest, and her heart beat even faster when she felt his lips gently touch hers, making her grab his shirt.

San kissed her carefully and affectionately, his warm, wet lips dictated a slow rhythm that indicated he was just savoring and making up for the time they had lost.

San broke the kiss and she was already panting, without the strength to open her eyes, and then he started a new kiss a little faster.

Y/N took the opportunity to bring him closer, pressing their bodies together and made him move, leaning forward, taking his hands from her waist to rest on the bed as their tongues finally met again, thirstier than ever.

Y/N hugged him around the waist with her legs while her hands went to his back, while San took the opportunity to rest his elbows on the mattress so that his body weight wouldn't hurt her.

He treated her like a porcelain doll, fragile to the point of breaking and although she found all that care very cute, it still wasn't what she wanted.

So, she grabbed his shirt and pulled it up, that useless piece of clothing was just getting in the way anyway, he broke the kiss just so he could take it off while her hands went back to his chest, going down to his abdomen that she stroked.

She felt his skin crawl between her fingers and smiled, now she could see perfectly how much he had worked out over the last few years and she just couldn't stop feeling the texture of his warm skin, as if she could memorize every inch.

"Surprised?" he asked, his husky voice making every hair in Y/N's body stand on end.

She bit her lower lip.

“Not quite the word I would use.”

San laughed softly and brought his face to her neck, where he began to distribute wet, hot kisses, making her rub her hips against his and scratch his abdomen while she closed her eyes.

“There’s someone desperate here.” he confirmed and bit her earlobe, making her squeak softly.

Not because it hurt, but because she liked it. Very much.

“You teased me enough at that party” she replied and he decided to move the kisses to her chin, smiling.

"Thank you love. Red looks great on you too.” He bit her chin as he spoke, now kissing her neck and chest even further. “But I prefer you in that bikini.” He moved the neckline of the dress she was wearing enough to sink his nose between her breasts and her hands automatically went to the back of his head. “Or maybe without it.”

One of San's hands found the end of her dress and began to lift the fabric, he moved his own torso enough to be able to remove the piece from her, which she desperately helped him pass over her own arms.

He took the opportunity to kneel on the bed and observe her in just her underwear, she felt not only her cheeks but her entire body heat up, he looked at her as if she were the most beautiful woman in the world, enough for her to forget the bruises on her face and body.

He tilted his body to stay on top of her, still without letting all his weight fall on her, he distributed kisses along the entire length of her shoulder while she sighed, she was at his mercy and just wanted to enjoy the caresses he distributed over her skin.

San could do whatever he wanted with her. It could be dangerous, uncertain and even wrong, but she wasn't strong enough to fight it and being there with him, she knew she would be okay.

After years she would finally be where she always dreamed, back in his arms being enveloped by the love he still showed for her, which seemed to be ever greater than the last time.

There with him, sighing and moaning his name, it was as if no time had passed.

[...]

Y/N slowly woke up, her body still hurt and her eyes burned from the brightness of the room. So she brought her hands to her face to rub her eyes. 

It was then that noticed she wasn't in the presidential suite, patted the other side of the bed that was empty and remembered the night before.

Taking the sheet that covered her body with her, she sat on the bed, brushing her hair away from her face and at the same moment San came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

She smiled discreetly as she stared at his bare and strong torso, memories of the previous night flooded her mind and her cheeks burned.

She had no reason to be shy, but she really was after what they had done last night.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." San smiled widely and came over to give her a peck.

"Good morning." She replied and he stopped, looking at her with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Nothing, it's just that… it's good waking up with you by my side."

She smiled, feeling like a fool in love.

"You say like you never slept with me."

"Well, when we were dating everyone thought we didn't sleep together." he shrugged and sat next to her on the bed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “That we were two inexperienced innocents.”

"That's because no one knew you were a pervert." she replied jokingly and his fingers moved to her shoulder, giving her a nice caress.

"You didn't complain about that pervert." He pouted and she laughed, tilting her head.

"Because I love him." she replied, moving closer to kiss him.

However, before they could make an intense noise of sirens could be heard throughout the hotel.

Y/N pulled away, scared looking around as if she could guess what was happening and San sighed.

"What is that?" she asked more to herself and watched as he got up from the bed.

"I wish I had told you sooner."

She frowned.

"Told what?" asked but San didn't respond immediately, he approached the suitcase that was on top of the armchair in the room and opened it, taking the towel off his waist and leaving himself in just his underwear in front of Y/N who was watching him curiously.

She saw San put on dark pants and then a white t-shirt, which really highlighted his torso, but the shock came when he took off a vest and she felt her jaw drop when she realized it was bulletproof, she knew because she saw the word police written on the front. 

Feeling her head spin, she had to put her hand on the bed to keep herself standing, or in this case, sitting.

"San, what is this?" the weak voice asked and he finished putting on his shoe.

"Come with me." he asked and she looked at him confused. "Do you trust me?"

She didn't even need to think about the answer.

"Always."

San approached the bed and reached out to her, Y/N held it and got up from the bed.

He separated his own clothes for her to wear besides her thin dress and she did so, still not understanding what was happening, San made her wear a blazer that looked huge on her but covered most of the bruises on her arm.

He took her out of the room and they took the elevator, she was distressed because San didn't say what was happening even there alone, keeping his hand on her waist and his expression too calm.

She was already internally biting her cheek and when she got out of the elevator she saw that the place was full of police officers, uniformed and armed.

Y/N followed with her gaze a police officer who passed in front of her with a very large gun, hearing San's low laugh that made her continue walking forward.

In the hotel lobby, she was able to get a sense of the situation. Several of Seungho's henchmen were kneeling on the floor with their hands on top of their heads while some of the police officers watched them quite angrily, others walked around the hotel looking for something.

"Detective Choi."

Y/N turned her head so fast it made a noise, San patted her back before reaching out to the approaching police officer.

"Kang." he greeted his colleague, adopting a more serious pose.

"Everything is in order, the evidence and witnesses are being taken now."

San nodded and the officer turned his attention to Y/N. "And Miss-"

"Don't worry, I'll walk her to the police station myself." San spoke firmly as her eyes widened.

Police station? Would she go to the police station?

The police officer nodded and left, leaving San and Y/N alone.

"What is happening?" she asked quietly, and he held her shoulders gently.

"Follow me." she wanted to understand what was happening but his eyes said that everything would be fine and she believed it.

That's why she silently agreed and let San take her outside, towards a black car, he opened the passenger door for her and she got in without question. San got in on the other side and started the car while Y/N put her hands together to play with her fingers, waiting for him to start talking.

“Where do you want me to start?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the street.

Y/N shrugged, laughing lightly.

"You are cop." she confirmed and looked at him, seeing him nod his head.

“When you broke up with me 7 years ago, I knew something was wrong.” he took a deep breath. “I was always convinced that you would never do that to me if you didn't have a very strong reason, we always talked about plans for our future and one night you just didn't want it anymore?” He glanced at her, seeing that she was immersed in the explanation, he continued “The next day, I returned to your house, I was determined to talk to you more calmly but when I arrived at the corner I saw that you were leaving with your bags from home, what surprised me most was the fact that you said goodbye to your mother but you didn't even look at your father's face.”

Y/N took a deep breath. That scene of saying goodbye to her parents was like a blur in her head, the only thing she remembered was that she began to understand the meaning of being alone.

“Your father was your hero, your rock and you simply ignored him before getting into a car that had never been in your house before.”

“It wasn’t the easiest day of my life.” she commented, resting her head on the car seat.

“I know, me either.” San stopped the car at the traffic lights and turned to face her. “That’s why after I saw you driving away in that car, I knocked on the door.”

Y/N's jaw dropped.

"What?"

“Your mother answered, she was devastated but it seemed like she knew I was going to show up, when I walked in… Your father was drinking, he was crying and saying he had destroyed your life.”

Y/N felt her nose itch, indicating that her eyes were about to water.

“I asked them to explain to me what was happening, I don’t know, I wanted to be able to help in some way.” he shrugged and the car started moving again, with San turning his attention to the street again. “Your father told me he bet you on a game, that he was an addict and that he had lost the only thing that mattered. At first I didn’t want to believe it.” he laughed, humorlessly. “That was the script for an Italian mobster movie, but your mother confirmed the version and said they were forced to hand it over to you or else everyone would suffer the consequences.”

She took a deep breath, staring into space.

That was the truth.

She never chose Seungho, she was forced to or he would start killing everyone she loved, starting with her father. 

“After a few days of crying like a teenager I was, I went to talk to Hongjoong. His uncle was a police officer and heard the story, he told me who the Kim family was and what Seungho was capable of since at the time he was starting to take over a good part of the west of the city. He told me that there were rumors among the police that he had gone after your father and instigated his addiction to cards because he wanted to have you.” she swallowed. She already knew this version of the story and still reacted the same way. “He had become obsessed with you and had done everything on purpose. I was so angry, I had never felt such hatred as I did that day. I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling that.”

Y/N looked at him, there was a certain anger in San's words and his jaw was clenched.

“That day I promised myself that I would take revenge, that I would make him pay for everything he had done to you, for stealing your life. Our life.”

San looked at her and smiled sadly.

“And I joined the police, I wanted to do things the right way.” she smiled lightly, it was obvious to her. San was always very correct. “But it wasn’t that easy. I needed to prove to everyone that I was capable, I went through a lot of things in the police to reach the day when I would finally have the opportunity to start investigating the Kim family.”

“And you didn’t deny that chance.” It wasn't a question.

San parked the car and she looked outside, seeing that they were already at the police station, he rested his arm on the steering wheel and turned towards her.

“I couldn’t, we would only have this opportunity to catch him. He didn't know my face, he didn't know who I was, we created a way to bring our team closer to him. And it worked, he believed it.”

She took off her belt and turned to San.

“You already knew you would find me.”

He nodded and held one of her hands, giving it a gentle caress.

“I know it will seem strange but I followed your every step, it was part of the investigation.”

She felt a shiver run down the back of her neck.

“Am I going to be arrested?”

San pressed his lips together in a thin line and brought his hand to caress her face.

“No, you are the main witness in this case, everyone knows that you were just one of his victims. With all the evidence I've gathered, you're all clear. But you need to tell the police everything you know.”

Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach and took a deep breath.

“Okay, if that’s what I have to do to end this story once and for all.” she nodded and he smiled widely at her. “What about last night…”

He laughed, scratching the back of his head with his free hand.

“Well, you don’t need to say.”

She laughed too.

San approached and kissed her forehead, making her sigh.

“I’m here with you and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I thought it was impossible for me to love you more, but I do.” she shrugged and saw his eyes light up, just like they did last night. “If I stayed sane all these years, it was thanks to you.”

San kissed the tip of her nose.

“I would do anything for you, to keep you safe. I love you, Y/N.”

“What about us?”

"Us?" he pretended to think for a moment and she narrowed her eyes, smiling. “I think we still have a lot to make up for.”

[hannieween]

pushing and pulling | joshua hong

› pairings: joshua hong x female reader › genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) › aus: nba player joshua, playboy joshua, love affair › word count: 8k

› 🎧: take you down – yugyeom | do me right – gemini | pushin' n pullin' – red velvet | middle of the night – monsta x | 100 ways – jackson wang | dumb – i.m | guilty – taemin

this post is connected a nba joshua playboy request (you can find it in my page on the reqs tag)

› nsfw tags under the cut

› warnings: slight hurt/comfort, toxic vibes, reader is married, body worshipping, oral sex, pussy drunk shua, soft-dom joshua, oblivious pining, love making, unprotected p in v sex, lotus position, a bit of cockwarming, creampie, reader is on the pill, joshua is kind of a jerk but sweet in some way, pet names: baby (hers)

› big big thank you to @cvntrlseecvntrlvee who beta read this for me and helped me edit and with the more tricky aspects of joshua pouring his heart out to you ( > 〰 < )♡

› also thanks to @glowunderthemoon who brainstormed with me and recommended 100 ways by jackson for this chapter. i wanna kiss your genius brain

› disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

pushing and pulling

The elliptical beeped softly as Joshua forced it to a stop. He kept his breathing steady, but he couldn't ignore the impulsive need to wipe the sweat off his face.

He looked closely at his progress. Feeling content, he climbed down, wiped the machine and walked away to finally commence his general training.

The gym was particularly deserted. As expected from a Friday afternoon. Joshua had just finished warming up and moved to do some bench presses. It was his usual Friday routine, except he mostly went during the mornings.

But last night he couldn't sleep. And he didn't have any plans for the rest of the night, so, the gym it is.

He kept the music in his earphones at a high volume to drown out the music blasting from the gym's fancy sound system and the lonely goers who were working on the other weight machines.

Why do they have to let the weights drop that loud? So noisy.

He kept pushing the bar up and then slowly pressed it back down with a controlled motion, letting strained exhales escape his mouth. It was one of his favorite exercises to do. He was lying back on the bench, and staring at the ceiling, listening to music—he could reflect like this.

Until he sat back up on the bench, having finished his rep, and stood up to look for something to clean up the bench after him. That was when he caught sight of you, in the far distance of the gym. You were using a treadmill, looking straight at your reflection in the mirror up front.

Maybe you just got to the gym, he thought from the look of you. Your well-kept hair was braided, there was no sweat on your face from what he could see and well, he hadn't seen you until now.

Joshua kept doing his exercises as normal. But he couldn't shake off the tight knot that had parked in his stomach since he saw you there.

In fact, every time you crossed his mind he felt that way. And he thought of you constantly. He replayed over and over in his head the memory of the events that led you to the first time you kissed him.

It had been a rushed, heated kiss—but everything that happened before it took its time. At every chance, when you crossed paths, you'd sent him glances that,  at first, obfuscated him a little.

Until one night, at a private event. After many suggestive looks exchanged between Joshua and you, in a perfect moment, your husband was out of the way and you got Joshua to follow you down a fire exit. One thing led to the other.

He didn't know you went to the same gym as him—though it could be something he expected since everyone on his team used it. It was quite the exclusive place.

He kept checking on you every now and then. It seemed that you were just running because half an hour passed and you hadn’t left your spot.

That's how he slowly gathered the little details about you, the bags under your eyes, the sad look on the features of your face.

So he kept to his regular training—working his lats, his triceps, biceps and then finishing with abs. Push and pull kinda day. It was supposed to be only pull but well, what gives.

Joshua moved from the last machine, cleaned it off, threw the towel away and walked towards the locker-rooms. Thinking of getting a shower, grabbing his stuff and heading home. Maybe drink a beer and hopefully, sleep.

"What are you doing here?"

Joshua removed his earphones. You had cornered him almost as if you had planned it, and possibly did. He looked over his shoulder as a precaution, the hall was empty.

"What are you doing here?" you repeated, your tone anxious and shifty eyes roaming all over him.

"Baking a cake," he responded nonchalantly.

"Tsk, fine," you scoffed and looked the other way.

Joshua paused and took consideration over what he saw in you, the stale, emotionless about you. Unusual. The features of your face looked torn, instead of the usual kindness he usually saw in them. He confirmed his suspicions that you weren’t sleeping well either when he saw the darkness under your eyes, and the paleness that stole the color from your lips. 

Even with that dead look in your eye, Joshua was convinced that you were the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. Although all you and Joshua ever did was throw snarky comments at each other, sometimes while fucking, even then, he always thought you were sweet and cute. 

"How about we start over?"

"What?"

"Hi?" Joshua joked. "How are you? No?"

"Josh," you sighed and took a hand to your forehead, where your fingers rubbed your frown tiredly. "Sorry, you know what, you're right. I'm being a little on edge."

Joshua couldn't blame you for that. In fact, he felt like he might be the only person in the world that would understand what you're going through.

He leaned in, his doe eyes reading you carefully. "Do you need to talk?" he asked, his voice devoid of all snarkiness. It was his usual tone, honeyed.

You raised your eyes at him, glinting in such a way that it only made the knot in his stomach twist harder. "Yeah, I–," you choked up. "I... uh..."

"Did you come here by car?" he promptly asked and he saw the spark in your eyes change. Excitement, fear, as if the answers you desired so greatly were all found in him, in that question.

"I walked," you frowned softly. "Why?"

Joshua dug on the inside of his sweats and pulled out the key to his car. "Black Audi A8," he instructed: "Wait for me inside. I'll take no more than 10 minutes."

You pocketed the key in your gym bag quickly. "What are you going to do?"

"Take a shower," he said and started to turn to walk down the hall. "See you there."

Joshua closed the door of his car, settling on the seat.

You handed him the key to his car. "Hi," you mumbled shamefully.

"That's better," he joked, taking the key and thrusting it into the ignition. He drove away from the underground parking lot. As soon as he was within the vicinity of his place and the silence had turned somewhat unpleasant, he sent you a glance. "It's been a while."

You had been keeping your head turned to the side. But you nodded, and you met his brief gaze. "Yeah I've... been busy."

Joshua kept his comments to himself from that point. His mind had started reeling instead. He parked on his spot and as soon as he turned the engine off, he opened the glove compartment, pulling out a cap.

"Here," he offered you the cap.

"Are you serious?" you asked, sending him a bewildered look.

"Listen, I'm not risking someone seeing you here with me and start asking questions," he emphasized those words, knowing what value they had to them.

Because he was the nation's favorite playboy. The one who’s got the eyes and heart of the media. The heartthrob. Ever since his career skyrocketed, this fame, this persona, it had been following him close by like a shadow.

Though all a lie, it seemingly had fooled you too.

"Fine," you said, taking the cap, which was his team's merch, putting it on with a huff. Then you mumbled with dry sarcasm: "How do I look?"

"Pretty, as always," he smirked and pushed the door to get out of his car.

You followed him inside the elevator, down a hall and into his apartment.

"I would've assumed we'd reach the penthouse," you quipped as soon as you were inside.

Joshua turned the first lamp in the corner of the living room. The curtains were drawn wide open, letting in the view of the skylight. He snickered as an attempt to deflect from the constant judgment of his character.

"Why is that?" he asked with a low tone and motioned you over with one of his large hands.

"I dunno," you mumbled and walked over to the fancy large couch. "May I?"

"Of course," he replied and went over to the open kitchen to open the cabinet, grabbing two short glasses. "Drink?"

"Sure, uh," you breathed out shakily. "I only assumed that you'd be like the rest of 'em, you know. Showy, living on the top of the highest building, throwing out money wherever you go."

"Pff," he scoffed, throwing some cubes of ice into each glass. "You've known me long enough to know that's not my style."

That comment seemed to rattle you a bit. You stilled in your seat and when Joshua offered you the glass of whisky, you stared at the ice cubes for a moment.

Joshua was your husband's best friend. You have been part of each other's lives for long enough to know that his lavish lifestyle was nothing compared to the one of your husband's.

But Joshua is nothing like your husband.

Jake, your husband, is the one that the media loves. He is the golden boy, team captain, the one with the most deals, money and fame. The guy who gets all the recognition for being such a good husband.

"Jake is cheating on me," you breathed, letting those words out for the first time since you found out. They hit you like a punch in the gut, and your eyes instantly brimmed with tears of shame, guilt and regret.

Joshua was still standing between the couch and the coffee table, right in front of you. So he sat down by your side, leaving his drink beside yours, not quite looking in your eye as he sighed.

"I know."

Of all the reactions you were expecting, all the scenarios you ran in your mind, you never thought that he would say that.

Because he was your secret.

"How long have you known?" you demanded with a strangled tone.

He turned his head to look at you now, your gazes met and he decided to take a large gulp of his whisky before replying: "Ever since he slept with the first girl."

"Then you've known for..."

"Does it matter?"

Your eyes stopped shifting from side to side, the frantic train of thoughts slowed down. "Yes," you said slowly. "How come you've never told me?"

"I was going to but," he exhaled softly. "You sought me out before I could."

"So you were fine with us fucking and never acknowledging it?" you were quick to put two and two but then, "Why?"

"I thought that was what you needed."

"Joshua..." you whispered. "Why? Are you okay with–, why would you never say something about it?"

"I'm okay with whatever you want me to be," he muttered, looking straight into your eyes now. "I knew you needed me, you didn't need to tell me why. I knew."

"So all this time, when you've taunted me about it, to tell him... was it all just for fun? To get yourself off, to make yourself feel better–"

"To play my part," he sighed and went for another gulp of whisky and when you didn't say anything, he elaborated: "Famous playboy. Isn't that the reason why you went to me?"

You looked away in shame. "You're also his best friend. I figured the more excitement you'd get the less I would have to explain," It was your turn to drink from your glass, which you did so slowly.

"Was."

Your stomach dropped. Something in you had worked that out already, but you needed to hear the confirmation from him.

"What?"

Joshua took the glass between his lips, pouring the gold liquid down his throat. "Soon as he started boasting about it. I went low contact," he paused, the glass still lingering in front of his mouth before adding with a hint of disdain: "The dumbass hasn't even realized that I don't want to talk to him."

He looked at you with caution, expecting to see you crying, showing some emotion. Instead, you were mindlessly staring at the ice cubes sitting at the bottom of the now empty whisky glass.

"How did you find out, anyway?" he risked asking, trying to keep your attention still. He felt like you slipping away in your thoughts was dangerous.

"He stopped paying attention to me completely, he even recoils from my touch," you mumbled and your lip quivered a little. "So I started suspecting."

A silence followed and as the seconds went on, Joshua started getting anxious.

You licked your lips, raising your eyes and finding his. "He keeps things from the girls he sleeps with inside a box," you rasped out dryly. "Lingerie, earrings, hair ties... I'm also sure he's taken them to the house."

"Jesus," he hissed, downing the rest of the liquid to discard the glass on the coffee table and rubbing his hands on his face, trying not to succumb to the overwhelming rage he was feeling. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm not sure if he either wanted me to find it or he's too stupid to actually keep it well hidden," you sighed. "It's driving me crazy these days."

"Do you have a plan? Do you know what you'll do?" he asked, trying with all his might to derive his attention back to you.

"I have nothing," you whispered.

"Does he know you went out tonight?"

"Jake's not in town. He flew out to visit his family and friends," you rolled your eyes and scoffed.

Joshua didn't need proof to know that was a blatant lie. And it seemed that you knew it too.

You finally set back the empty glass on the coffee table and let out a tired sigh.

"Can I ask you something?" you muttered with a tiny voice.

Joshua knew what was coming. So he relaxed on the back of the couch, shifting one leg over the seat to sit facing your body. He even propped an elbow on the headrest of the couch to lean his head on his fist. 

"Shoot," he mumbled.

"Why are you doing this?" you glanced at him shyly. "You said that you no longer speak to Jake, but you pressure me to tell him either way. Are you–," you choked up again, but now due to your nervousness you started blurting: "Why do this, why agree to have an affair with me?"

"At the beginning, I felt sorry for you," he said reluctantly, feeling ashamed of himself as he looked away briefly. "You looked lonely. And I knew why. So."

"That still doesn't answer my question," you whispered, trying to read his doe eyes under the soft glow of the lamps.

He leaned his head on one side, reading the expression on your face. Your features had relaxed, no longer containing the anxiousness from before.

"Is it not obvious?" he asked back and felt his own heart race slightly, he paused and decided to say: "I'm also lonely."

You made no inquiry about the alleged rumors, everything that the media says about the women who keep coming and going in his life. But he hoped that you would catch onto slowly that it was all an act created by the media to attract people in. And he was their puppet.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" he returned, blinking slowly at you, unable to look at anything else but your face.

"Shoot," you echoed with a shadow of a smile.

"Do you still love him?"

You held your breath and avoided his gaze again. "No," you blurted out, guilt washing over you. "I haven't for a while. Thought that much was evident, though."

"I needed to know," he replied, feeling a light rush of ecstasy run through him upon hearing your answer.

You smiled, but there was no happiness to that smile. It was sad, and had bitterness written all over it. Joshua had to understand then that you lost a good chunk of your life when your husband decided to sleep around recklessly.

But besides the empathy he felt for you, he was livid. He wasn't a man to endorse violence, but he couldn't deny the fact that he has had to contain himself several times before when your husband was boasting about his affairs.

"Hey," Joshua whispered, running the back of his index finger on your cheek. "I'm sorry you're going through this. I really am."

Your brow furrowed a little and your eyes widened, making you look a little lost. "Thank you, Joshua. I'm sorry this probably wasn't the way you wanted your Friday night to go."

"I had no plans for tonight," he explained, blinking slowly at you, an endearing look in his eyes.

"What would a regular night look like for you anyway?" you asked, leaning back on the couch, looking at him with curiosity.

"You're looking at it," he shrugged with ease and nodded. "Minus you being here, of course."

"Be serious," you scoffed at him.

"I am," he rolled his eyes with feigned annoyance. Joshua only kept his playboy image by flirting around. every once in a while, he would take a pretty model or actress to dinner.

You seemed to ponder for a second, without tearing your eyes from his face. "Well, you not being what the world says about you is definitely something I didn't expect," you confessed.

It was Joshua's turn to smile bitterly. "Yeah, who would've thought that the real playboy was the team captain, right?"

Your husband was the team captain. You immediately flinched a little with the realization that your husband's whole public image of being the perfect man was tainted not only by himself.

"Too soon?" Joshua mumbled shamefully.

"No, it's okay," you replied and cleared your throat.

But Joshua could see the gears in your brain turning. He couldn't blame you, he knew the feeling too well. It robbed him of sleep and held his peace of mind hostage every day.

"I'm sorry for pulling you into all of this," you told him. Your eyes were sincere, dimming with some regret just before you looked away.

"Don't be," he muttered softly, putting a hand on your knee to bring you some comfort. "I wouldn't do this if I didn't want any of it."

The features of your face relaxed at that and you met his eyes again. Your pretty hand slid on top of his in a gesture of gratitude. Then a thought crossed your mind—it seemed a little crazy that in all of this mess, you'd find a friend.

Even if the lines of that friendship had become blurry.

Joshua turned the palm of his hand over, so he was properly holding your hand now. You gave him a gentle squeeze, a warm feeling flooding in your chest and that made you sigh.

Then without thinking too much, he took the cap off your head, pushing some hairs off your face with his free hand. You didn't care how tender his touch felt, you welcomed it.

"Do you want me to take you home?" he asked with a low honeyed voice.

You shook your head silently, your hand was still in his so you just took the liberty to play with his pretty fingers, lacing them with yours.

"No one is waiting for me there," you muttered with a tiny voice and Joshua felt your words punch him in the chest. He felt overwhelmed by the urge to make you feel better, to take the pain from you.

So he just let it overpower him.

His hand came up to cradle your cheek, driving your gaze back to his again. What he wasn't expecting was you leaning your face against his touch, your free hand sliding on top of his and you closing your eyes.

He ran the pad of his thumb on your cheek, feeling your soft skin, then trailed to your lips, caressing them carefully until you opened your eyes again to find his.

You pressed your lips on the pad of his thumb. It wasn't a suggestive kiss, there was nothing in your eyes that meant that fiery need to which you had pulled him out the fire exit that first night he kissed you.

It was an affectionate kiss. But it only made him want more. He craved the softness, the tenderness, he needed you wholly.

So he took his shot, leaning in to rest his forehead on top of yours, the tip of his nose pushing against yours gently and he heard your breath hitch with a tiny moan as your lips brushed against his. He waited like this, waited for you to protest against this, to push him away.

But you gave in not a second later, pressing your soft lips against his own in a slow, tender kiss. You sobbed out some nervousness when you broke away, only to dive right in again with a deeper kiss, wet lips locking slowly, as if meeting each other again.

Joshua released your hand that was previously laced with his, using it to find your waist and pulled softly, motioning you closer. You understood what he meant without him having to break the kiss to say it.

So you sloppily moved your knees on the couch to sit on his lap, straddling him. Your hands cupped his face, now demanding a hungrier kiss from him, which he responded willingly with a low grunt that coiled in his throat.

The kiss suddenly came to a stop with a smacking sound. Heavy breathing filled his ears before he opened his eyes to see the light frown on your face, your eyes desperately reading his features.

"What are we doing, Joshua?" you asked. Your voice sounded shaky and breathless.

"Going with it," he replied, heart pounding against his chest.

"But, after this. Where are we going with all of this?" you demanded and he knew you needed to get ahead of this. You were hurt and probably weren't looking to be hurt again.

Joshua squeezed your arm gently. "Wherever you want it to," he replied sincerely, his doe eyes looking up at you.

"Josh," a question formed on your lips, but then you leaned in to meet his lips with your own.

"Mm?" he responded, the soft lines between his eyebrows seemed to mark a little.

"Just..." you shook your head slightly and swallowed hard, thinking of the warmth in his hands parked in the small of your back.

Joshua understood the restlessness, the danger that you were putting yourself in by being with him like this. He felt it too. But he also knew that you thought about him everyday, all the time. Just like he thought about you.

He blinked slowly at you, with a warmth and homeliness that swept through him. "What do you want?" he asked.

You paused, seemingly absorbed by the question for a second. It was the first time in a long time that someone asked you that—it had been a while since you took into consideration what you wanted, too.

When you started this, you thought that having an affair with Joshua was a form of revenge. To get back at your husband for betraying you. But it slowly became something you couldn't stop, you became greedy about it.

Now, you weren't sure if greed was the only thing that you felt.

"I want you," you whispered, feeling a rush of adrenaline coursing through your body upon confessing it. "I don't care how. I just know that I do. I think about you every day and it's driving me crazy."

Joshua's heart pounded frantically against his chest, his eyes reading your face, trying to gather every detail in your features. He knew it already, but hearing you say it sent him into a frenzy. Nothing else mattered anymore.

His hand cupped the back of your head, pulling you into a kiss, lips sealing yours with a passion he didn't know he had inside him. He blindly searched for the scrunchie that secured your braid and pulled it, freeing your hair with a groan.

You shuddered when his fingers sank in your hair, grazing your scalp, holding a fistful to keep you in place as he kissed you hungrily, his plump lips exploring yours.

It was the first time he kissed you like this, without the haste or the snark. There was no fear of getting caught, no need to rush anything. 

"Stay the night with me," Joshua whispered into your lips, feeling his breath catch under a surge of emotions.

"Okay," you whispered back without hesitation.

"Please," he added.

"I'll stay the night," you reassured him.

"Okay," he settled, pulling you into his arms, wrapping you as he kissed your lips hungrily, a soft moan spilling into your mouth when your hands cupped the back of his head.

Joshua felt torn between the need to do things slowly, he hadn't had the chance before to have you like this. Every time he's had the opportunity to kiss you or to have sex with you it's been in lonely corridors.

He didn't want to think about whether he would ever have you here like this again. He didn't want to think of the future and that made him irrational, careless.

Blindly searching for the hem of your clothes, he broke the kiss only to start undressing you. You raised your arms when he got rid of your hoodie you didn't see where it was thrown, Joshua was on your lips again, kissing you with urgency.

"Joshua," you muffled in his mouth. "Let's go to your room."

He nodded and wordlessly motioned you to stand up from his lap, fumbling for your hand to lead you down a dimly lit hall and pushed a door open, turning on the lights to the bedroom.

The room seemed dark upon first glance, the gray bedding contrasting only with the white pillows and the dim lighting of the overhead lamps. To your surprise, the scent of cinnamon hung in the air like a vague memory. As if a candle had been lit moments before he left the apartment to work out at the gym.

Joshua tugged at your arm, pulling you to his body so that he could wrap his arms around your body, leaning his head down to capture your lips with his own with a clumsy kiss as he walked you backwards until the back of your knees touched the edge of his bed.

"Sit down," he instructed softly. "Let me take care of you, yeah?"

Your breath hitched slightly, as your body began to heat up as soon as you sat down on his bed.

In one motion he pulled off his sweatshirt, exposing his bare torso. He had minor bruises and scratches on his sides and chest, but you knew it was normal, either from training or from how easily his skin bruised. Or both. While some looked old and faint, other bruises looked black and blue.

With little care for taking his time, he removed your clothes, he wanted you bare as soon as he could so he could finally see you. All the times he has been with you like this, all the times he's had sex with you have been fully clothed.

So when you laid in his bed, wholly naked below him, he sighed out his delight over you. He pressed a knee on the edge of the mattress, placing his hands at each side of your head to lean over your body.

He hummed as he pressed kisses in your lips, once, twice. "You're so beautiful," he muttered in between as his lips moved in yours seamlessly, melting into a more demanding and passionate kiss. 

Your eyes sparked with some amazement when he pulled back. He wondered if your husband ever said that to you, because you looked befuddled for a second.

"Yeah, you are," he muttered, a small smile crowning his pretty lips. "The prettiest girl I've ever seen."

"Josh," you chuckled warmly. "Don't go all sweet on me now."

"What, you thought I couldn't be anything but horrible to you?" he teased, kissing the apple of your cheek.

"I like the way you are," you confessed when his lips trailed down to the underside of your jaw, making you whimper a little when he placed an open kiss at the base of your throat.

"Yeah?" he muttered, ignoring the feeling shaking his heart. "Why?"

"Y-you're softer than you let on," you stammered, fingers trembling as you grazed his scalp to grab his hair. "You are kind and fun to be around. You're nothing like the world says about you."

"Mmn now who's going sweet on me," he teased, reaching down to kiss your tits, littering kisses all over, not trying to be sensual or to arouse you. He was simply exploring your body with his lips.

But it was quite obvious that you would become aroused. Your body responded by tensing up under his, your fingers clenching into fists, one gripping the bed covers, the other in his hair.

"Josh," you whimpered, when his tongue lapped around one of your nipples, now teasing it with the tip of his tongue, tasting your skin with a delightful groan.

While he did the same to your other nipple, his hand cupped your breast fully, his fingers gently digging into your soft skin, licking your nipple, his tongue swirling around it. His lips wrapped around your hardened nipple and suckled at it slightly.

"Fuck," you breathed, your thighs clenching when a sharp arousing feeling shot through your body.

Joshua hummed softly, detaching his mouth from your nipple with a soft smacking sound and moved to plant a soft kiss on your lower lip. "Will you let me eat you out, baby?" he lifted a hand from the mattress to pinch your chin. "Mn?"

A hot wave sizzled beneath your skin in anticipation. "Yeah," you choked nervously. "Please do."

He smiled before diving in for another chaste kiss and climbed down the bed. His hands came up to grab your thighs from the underside of your knee and pulled your body down so your butt was aligned to the edge of the bed.

Joshua got down on his knees and you propped yourself on your elbows on the mattress to follow his movements, his hands motioning your legs to rest on his shoulders, holding your thighs to help you do so.

"You have the prettiest pussy," he sighed before pressing his lips on your pussy lips, right before lapping his tongue on your folds with a broad stroke, his hands gripping your thighs decisively. 

You let your head hang back with a low cry of pleasure, sneaking one hand to grab at his hair again, holding for dear life. His tongue explored your cunt fully, not neglecting a single inch of skin, of your folds, drinking in your arousal. 

Joshua darted a look at you. Your head was thrown back and your chest was heaving slightly, only to suck in a breath as his tongue slowly made its way up from your entrance to your clit.

"Oh, god," you gasped when he started pushing his tongue against your clit gently, teasing it first to get it to swell. The sizzling sensation beneath your skin only intensified, making you moan through clenched teeth.

A hand climbed up from your thigh and parked on your lower tummy, palm pressing back on your skin just as his tongue swirled around your clit in swift figure eight motions, unrelenting in their pace, perfectly drawing you closer to the edge.

You eased back on the mattress, biting your lip to focus on the flicking of his tongue on your clit, the way it made the muscles of your inner thighs twitch in response to the sweet teasing. "Joshua, 'm close," you sighed.

Joshua hummed in response, applying more pressure to his large hand on your lower tummy, his low moan vibrating against your sensitive bud.

You slowly fell apart, moaning his name loudly as your sweet orgasm sizzled beneath your skin, washing over you completely, making you tremble on his bed until you are half conscious.

"Joshua," you repeated his name over and over breathlessly. You had released his hair, laying languidly on the edge of his bed as you slowly came down from your high.

But Joshua wasn't done.

His tongue lapped between your folds, dipping into your entrance with a soft groan upon finding that your core throbbed for more. With a soft hum he returned to give your cunt a deep open kiss, making you flinch slightly.

"Josh, please," you breathed out. "I need you... right now." 

You sat up clumsily just as he detached his mouth from your cunt, a shudder going through you when you saw the glistening wetness dripping from his mouth and chin, which he wiped with the back of his hand.

"Come here," you motioned when he stood up and you reached out to hook your fingers on the band of his gray sweats, looking up to his eyes as you pulled both his boxers and sweats down for him to step out of them.

You grabbed his cock with one hand, rolling your hand over to his bulbous head, smearing the precum gathering on his slit to give him a few pumps. You brought his tip to your mouth, giving him shy kitty licks before darting a look to his eyes.

His hand brushed your hair gently before cupping the side of your head. "I thought you needed me, baby," he teased and nodded his head to the bed. "Lie back."

You crawled backwards on his large bed and lied back at the same time that he crawled on top of your body, slotting himself between your thighs with a sigh.

"Let me be on top," you breathed, bumping the tip of your nose against his before kissing him. "Please?"

Joshua looked at you with some amusement written in his eyes, he thought of a snarky remark, to tease you before giving into your request. But instead of that, he nodded and rolled over.

"Sit up," you asked softly, moving on your knees to straddle him.

Joshua smiled and sat up, his hands immediately reaching out to grab your waist. "What are you doing, baby?" he chuckled breathily as you sat on top of him, clumsily wrapping your legs around him.

"Just let me do this," you said with a furrowed brow, scooting so that you could align your core to his cock, guiding with your hand before pushing your hips to sheathe him inside you with one thrust.

"God," he breathed out, the tone of his voice raw as his head dropped on your shoulder. "Fuck, baby."

"D'you like that?" you asked innocently, swaying your hips gently against his and biting back a moan over how good he felt stuffed inside you.

He slowly lifted his head to face you. "Yeah, baby," he sighed with an embarrassed smile as he added: "I missed you."

You shuddered upon hearing his confession. "I m-missed you too, Josh."

"Yeah?" he mouthed.

You nodded shyly. "All the time," you admitted.

You realized that you didn't have to go fast to achieve a high, you were just fine with rutting against his hips, feeling every inch of his cock sheathed inside your warmth. The pleasure written on his face was enough for you to stifle a moan, biting your lower lip.

His dark eyes glimmered under the soft glow of the overhead lights of his room, you saw his mouth part a little before he blinked and dropped his head in your chest, muffling a raw moan in your tits. His hands firmly placed on your ass, pressing down each time you sank down on him.

"Leave him," he muttered against your chest, leaving a trail of kisses leading to your heart.

"Joshua," you whispered, your hand slid up his nape, feeling his soft black hair.

"Leave him," he asked again, now lifting his head from your chest to lock eyes with you. "Please."

You thought of telling him all of the implications of that action alone. Because you've thought about it, you wanted to. You've thought about it countless times but there was always something in the way.

"I'll help you," he swallowed hard. "I'll protect you."

"Joshua," you insisted again. "Please, don't. I can't get you more involved."

Joshua let out a breathy laugh. "I think it's a little too late for that, baby," he said slowly, his eyes glinting with some emotion as you kept bouncing gently on top of him.

You read his face, the honesty in his eyes as he kept looking at you. "Are you sure?" you muttered, holding onto his shoulders with your hands to keep your pace steady.

But he held you through, guiding the sway of your hips with his pretty hands. He nodded with his head. "I've never been more sure about something."

A sharp pain twisted inside your chest, you shuddered and rested your forehead on top of his. "Why? What changed?" you whispered against your better judgment. But you needed this.

"I want to do this," he said, but that wasn't the whole truth.

"I don't want this to hurt you in any way," you muttered.

"Come on, baby," Joshua smiled softly at you, his hands sliding up the line of your back wrapping his arms around you. "Don't go all sweet on me."

"Please Joshua," you insisted, a slight tinge of urgency humming in your tone and you pulled your forehead back to see his face fully.

Joshua's mind began to reel. He considered two things, his most instinctive reaction was to lie and deflect the very evident truth (though not to you) that he was in love with you. The second one, and one that he wasn't too keen on, was to just tell you later.

His hands traveled down to your lower back, grabbing your hips to help you move on top of him with more urgency. He didn't need to finish, but he was hoping he would distract you.

You dug your heels into the soft covers to anchor yourself and started pushing against his hips purposefully. "Why now? Tell me," you whispered. And he saw it in your eyes, you were already suspecting.

"Stay with me," he replied, his voice low but full of certainty.

"I'm not going anywhere, I told you I'd stay," you replied, your sweet voice taking a tinge of concern.

He shook his head slightly. "I don't want you to leave," he said through a ragged sigh. "Stay with me."

He knew he was crossing a line, he was about to find out if you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

Your eyes remained on his, and he wished for a second to know what you were thinking. The rolling of your hips came to a stop and Joshua thought that you'd get up and leave. His heart vibrated against his chest frantically.

You gave him a slow nod with your head, it was almost a mechanical movement. Okay, you mouthed, okay.

"Yeah?" he whispered, his eyebrow arching slightly. He licked his lips before bringing a hand up to cup your chin and kissed your lower lip softly.

You nodded with eagerness now. "Yeah," you let out a soft laugh. "Why, where does this come from?" you asked.

"What do you mean?" he hummed, egging you to retake the movement of your hips, wanting to feel your tight walls sliding on him again.

You tilted your head back as Joshua moved his lips down your chin, trailing along the line of your jaw. And you let your eyes close to focus back to the motion of your hips, his hard cock on your fluttering walls and you moaned when his lips reached your throat.

"You were meant to be mine," he murmured against your skin. "He was introducing you to me, before everything."

Jake was supposed to introduce you to Joshua. But then he decided he wanted you for himself and you didn't meet Joshua until you were already dating your husband. And it was fine by him, he thought nothing of it at first.

But then he got to meet you.

"You are..." Joshua dipped his face on the crook of your neck, letting out a soft sigh against your skin. "You are the sweetest girl I've ever met."

His lips left an open kiss on your throat, making you squirm a little and moan. Your hand shifted from the back of his head to cup his cheek and you leaned your head, breathing erratically due to the movement of your hips on him.

"Leave him," he said again, but now you felt like you were losing him to a frenzied trance. His eyes were doing that thing again, glimmering under the soft lighting of the room.

"I will, I'll leave him," you hummed and your heart stuttered, breaking over the man that was looking at you like a lost puppy.

He moaned softly when you captured his lips with your own, his hands held your body, shifting to feel your skin, your back, your arms, until they parked at your thighs, kneading softly at the rhythm of the gentle sway of your hips.

"Joshua," you sighed a moan with some urgency.

Joshua turned your body over, pressing your back onto the mattress and slotting himself between your parted thighs to sink into your walls again with a loud groan from his part.

Now on top of you, he could do what he hadn't had the chance to until that moment. As he pulled his hips back, to then press against yours again, his cock dragging in and out of you, fucking you slowly, he could only think of one thing.

"Let me love you," he muttered with a raw tone, looking into your eyes, his hand met your cheek. "Be mine."

A sob coiled in your throat, making his eyes shift to your mouth and back to your eyes. He knew he had struck something in you, and he knew what you felt.

You gave him a fucked out nod, parting your mouth but no words came out.

"Mn? D'you want me to love you?" he asked with a honeyed purr, a smile stretching his pretty lips when you nodded again. "Are you mine?"

"Yeah, yeah," you whimpered between gasps he drew out with each thrust.

He grabbed your leg, hiking your knee up his shoulder to push deeper into you again with a loud cry of pleasure from your part, making tears gather on the corners of your eyes as he started sinking his cock in your walls again.

"I'm gonna love you," he gasped, the enunciation alone robbing him of air as he slowly pushed himself into a mad love surge for you.

Pleasure bloomed inside your body, inundating you with overwhelming waves, your mouth parted further and your brows knitted. The hand that wasn't holding onto him cupped his cheek, driving his gaze to yours.

"Are you gonna come, baby?" he hummed, enjoying the look on your face when you were close.

"Yeah," you gasped out lewdly, closing your eyes to welcome in the sweet wave of pleasure that shot through you briefly. "'m so close."

"Mmn, yeah baby? Gonna come with me?" he grunted, pushing his cock into your walls, his lip quivered slightly, letting out a raw moan through. "Want me to come inside you?"

"Yeah, please. Please, Josh," you whined pathetically, letting out a strangled moan as you slowly started to lose control, sweet pleasure washing over you, making your thighs shake. "Ohh god, mn, 'm gonna–'m–,"

"I know, I know, baby," he replied gently, feeling your walls clamping down around his cock, your warmth swallowing him, tipping him over the edge too. Joshua moaned in your mouth, spilling himself into you with deep hard thrusts.

"Joshua," you squirmed under the weight of his body as he fucked you through your long and sweet orgasm, making a mess on the bed covers.

With a couple of sloppy thrusts, he waited until you stopped shaking to ease your leg back to the mattress, carefully and pressed his chest against yours. He decided to remain quiet, relaxing into the gentle shock of confessing so much in a span of a couple of minutes.

But he just turned his head, bumping the tip of his nose against the underside of your jaw before pressing a kiss on your skin. Breathing tiredly under his weight you caressed his back with your hands, feeling his soft skin and you let out a soft hum.

"Should we... let's get cleaned up," you muttered after some time, breaking the peaceful silence.

The weight of his body between your legs had started to cause some discomfort around the joints of your hips, but even then you didn't want him to break away from you.

With heavy reluctance, Joshua peeled from your body, climbing off the bed and offered you his hand again to follow him down the hall and to the bathroom, where you washed.

"I can lend you some of my clothes," he offered quietly when you came back to his bedroom, wrapped in one of his bathrobes.

He finished putting on some black boxers when he raised his head and found you standing in front of his large bed. He sat down on one corner, reaching over to you and wrapped his long fingers around your wrist to motion you between his thighs.

"Are you feeling a bit better?" he asked, reading your face, he saw that the color had returned to your lips.

"Yeah, I am," you whispered, caressing his shoulder with the palm of your hand. "I'm a bit scared, Josh."

"I know," he admitted, brushing your damp hair with his fingers and tucking it behind your ear carefully. "But we can plan this together. You're not alone."

That made your glimmering eyes lock with his. It felt like a blow to your chest to come to grips that Joshua was willing to help you and even more so, that he loved you.

"Thank you, Joshua," you said, the knot coiling in your throat stealing your voice. "For everything."

Joshua just nodded silently, bringing your hand to his lips to press soft kisses in your knuckles. "Let's sleep, okay? We'll plan tomorrow."

You wore one of his t-shirts to sleep, wrapped in his manly scent and his gray bed sheets.

At the beginning, you laid facing each other at arm's length. He assumed that you needed space, as it was the first time you slept with him.

So he was beginning to prepare for another sleepless night, but this time he was looking at the subject of his unrest. Even if you were right there with him, the pressing matter of getting you out of your failing marriage by any means necessary was causing him worry.

It took him several seconds to realize that you were still awake. Your eyes were closed, but you slowly moved your body closer to his, until your face nestled into the warmth of his neck. Joshua sighed with a smile and that made you tilt your head back so you could see his face.

"Go to sleep, baby," you whispered, looking at him fondly. "We'll plan tomorrow."

At that moment, he wrapped his strong arms around you, giving you a slow, languid kiss that went on until he couldn't kiss you anymore, until his body begged him to rest.

Joshua doesn't know how he managed to fall asleep in your arms, he believes that it was the gentle rhythm of your heartbeat that served as the best lullaby he could ever ask for.

He wished for more nights like this with you, though he wasn't sure when that would be possible.

Nor of the consequences it would bring.

› a/n: this was supposed to be a drabble

but to answer your question @thatgirlfromwindsor: i think joshua is an ass man. yeah 🤔

if you liked this, lemme know! a comment, a like, reblog, anything is appreciated! drop me an ask if you wanna, send me your filthy reqs, or not ᨐฅ💖

anyway now, i swear that next update will be city lights pt 8, i promise hehe

love you all (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)♡

toodles

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© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[staytinyville]

Kiss a Girl

↣ Summary: When Bang Chan is finally over a break up, he comes across someone that seemed to make things feel like he was a high schooler again.

↣ Characters/Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

↣ Genre: fluff

↣ AU/Trope info: idol!au, webtoon artist!reader, foreign!reader, post break-up, song inspired fic

↣ Word Count: 2.9k

↣ Warnings: none

↣ A/N: I am from Texas where country songs are just a must. I grew up on like 2000s country songs and will always go back to them lol. But I heard Keith Urban while I was in the store the other day and was like. This is giving Bang Chan. Could it be because they are both Australian? Quite possibly. But TBH I do wanna hear Bang Chan sing one of Keith Urban’s songs. 

Staytinyville’s Permanent Taglist

↣ Affiliates: @cultofdionysusnet , @k-labels , @k-vanity

↣ Special Thanks: Thank you @saradika-graphics for the amazing banners! Please go check her out if you have specific banners in mind. She is great!

You have been in Korea for the past month doing some things for a work project you would never have thought to be possible. You were just a simple college kid a couple years ago who enjoyed making comics about a couple OC you created years ago. When the story became a hit around the world it garnered a lot of attention. 

Especially TV companies that were asking you if they could create your story into a series. 

You, being someone who was studying in the entertainment industry, agreed they could use it so long as you were allowed to work on the project with them. Your credits in college really help to put them along for the ride. Now you were going to be living in Korea for a bit until production finished and the whole series came out on the TV. 

In the past month, you had made some good friends with the people you worked with. There were A-list actors who enjoyed your company and sometimes would invite you out to go drinking with them. While you did enjoy going with them, you found yourself attached to your translator a lot more compared to them. 

It was easy to find people who spoke English, especially in the area you were working in. But the way your translator had to stick closer to you than others, you both found yourselves becoming close friends. And for them, as someone who worked closely in an industry that called for a lot of high ends, they were the ones who often took you out to fancy places where normal people would only wait years to get reservations. 

“This is a very classy spot.” You told your friend as you looked around the club. 

“It's a very high end club.” Your friend/translator told you. “Like only a select few people can get in.”

You laughed out loud. “How did you pull it off then?” You asked. 

“Did you forget where it is that we work at?” They laughed. “Of course we are going to get the best stuff. Just gotta be careful because they will make us sign NDA.” They deadpanned at the end. 

You laughed even louder. You glanced around for a moment to find where the bar was, easily spotting it along with a crowd. Just as you were about to head in that direction, you froze for a moment just as someone passed in front of you.

You let out a polite excuse me, bowing your head just a bit. The person looked at you oddly for a moment before giving you a small smile and telling you it was alright. When the man began to walk away, you tried to keep a neutral face, but were secretly panicking inside over you had just ran into. 

“Bro!” You gasped quietly, smacking your friend’s arm. “Did I just see Yugyeom? Like the idol?” You gushed. 

“Probably.” They looked over your shoulders, frowning as they nodded. “This is a popular club for idols because it's so exclusive.”

“Why would you bring me here?” You looked at them wide eyed, feeling like you were going to make a fool of yourself and risk a lot of things. 

“This is where a lot of people in the entertainment industry come when they want to experience normal things. Like a club.” They explained to you. “This place is also really popular with the younger generations. You’ll probably come across a couple of people winding down from promotions and stuff.”

You did in fact see a couple of more idols. Your friend was the one who explained to you who was in attendance at the club for the ones you weren’t able to pick out right away. There was a good amount of older people as well, at least at the bar. 

Once you got a drink in, you dragged your friend out to dance, laughing as songs you weren’t able to make out the words to blasted on the speakers. WIth how much your smile seemed to stretch across your face, other people began to notice you. Many of them were much to shy or reserved to go out and dance along with you but there were a few who wanted to feel your excitable energy. 

“Hello.” A girl smiled while talking in English, coming into your closer circle. 

“Hi.” You beamed, holding your hands out to grab onto hers. “Come dance!” You swung her arms around as you tried your best to not look like a fool. 

But it seemed the more others drank and the night went on, you didn’t have to worry much about that. Things would never change once people had alcohol in their systems to make them let loose just a bit. 

With you dancing along with the girl, a lot more came to join your side as your contagious positive attitude had an effect on others around you. 

“Like this.” The girl laughed, trying to copy your silly jumps.

“Yes!” You laughed, trying to get others to dance as well. 

Just as a large crowd was beginning to form on the dance floor, there were others going around and enjoying their time with friends. There was an idol who had just arrived after finally getting out of his post-break-up slump. He was ready to get back out there and mingle with new people after being in a mental blockage when it came to friends. 

His bandmates had gotten him to agree to going out with his closer friends that weren’t any of them. They had other things to do, which did make him a bit upset but as they had told him, he had a life outside of them as well. 

“Chan!” Yugyeom hugged the man’s side. “Look at you! Finally out.” He said, showing him towards where the others of the group were. 

“I don't know.” Chan nodded to himself. “I'm ready to be out.” He said. 

“For once and it's not in the studio.” Another one of their friends teased, lightly punching Chan in the arm. 

The Australian laughed, looking around the club he had not been to in a while. He took in the large crowd that was going on around the dance floor. 

“There's a foreigner?” He furrowed his eyebrows, turning to the others. 

“She's cute!” A friend called out. “Been dancing and getting others to join. Seems social.” He added. 

“I'm going to go ask her to dance.” Yugyeom called out, going to join the crowd. 

Once others saw the boy coming down to stand next to the floor, everyone else seemed to join as well, having you get sucked into the crowd that was chanting as songs continued. Yugyeom came up to you giving you a smile as he caught your attention. 

“Dance?” He asked you.

“Oh, sure!?” You nodded your head, moving to turn and face him as his song started to play. You laughed watching as he tried to explain to you the dance moves that came along with it. 

You kept laughing, cheeks hurting from the fun you were having. You hadn’t really gotten the chance to experience something like this back home. You have been to bars but the energy isn’t the same as a club that was meant to pump people full of adrenaline. You enjoyed the atmosphere, it helped your need to be social. 

“Yes.” Yugyeom gushed in English that had an accent. “Like that. Good!” He gave you thumbs up to show that you were correct. 

You laughed at his way of trying to speak to you. You waved him off, telling him thank you in Korean which made him laugh even more. He tried to have a conversation with you, but you laughed most of it and tried to explain to him he needed to speak slowly in order for you to understand just a bit more. 

When a new song came on, you hadn’t noticed someone else coming up to your side. All you did was turn to face the DJ stand as you began to sing to Stray Kids TOPLINE. You laughed as those around you began to do the same, in your own world. You turned to the person next to you, shouting out lyrics as you both gave off the same energy. 

You started singing louder when you noticed it had been Bang Chan singing along with you. The chorus came around and you fully turned to give him your attention, trying to keep up. Bang Chan felt something in his chest as he danced with you to his own song. It wasn’t that he was proud, it was just that he seemed to be content with how you didn’t seem phased with who he was. 

When the song came to an end, you clapped for Bang Chan, giving him a dazzling smile that made him turn his lips up. 

“You know Stray Kids!?” He asked you, shouting over the speakers. 

“No, who are they!?” You shouted back, face looking serious. 

You almost laughed at how Bang Chan’s eyes went wide and he looked at a loss for words. “I'm just kidding. It's really nice to meet you.” You gushed, bowing your head.

“Oh, you don't need to bow.” Chan awkwardly giggled. “It's okay.”

“I got used to it here!” You told him, coming to stand up straight. 

“Would you like to sit with me?” He asked you after a moment.

Your eyebrows raised, eyes wide as you took in his question. Looking just around him, you noticed your friend quickly nodding their heads, telling you to accept the offer. 

“Am I allowed to?” You laughed.

He thought about it for a moment, looking over at his group of friends. “Ah, if you don't tell anyone.” Chan chuckled. 

“Sounds like a risk.” You hummed. “I'll take it.” The smile you had made Chan a bit dizzy.

It had been so long since he had seen someone look at him that way. He had a ton of people look at him that way actually, but never to someone who made it seem like they just wanted to be friends. Chan had no problems with hookups, but it was refreshing to meet someone who wasn’t over him because they knew him. 

You did know him–sure–but you were taking into account who he was which made you a bit cautious. While it was normal for others to be that way, you weren’t scared of talking to him like you had been friends for years. 

When he showed you where his friend group were, you laughed a little at how they seemed to begin hollering when Chan brought you over. 

“Don't listen to them.” He shook his head. 

“Even if I did, I don't think I'd understand much.” You told him honestly. 

“Are you visiting then?” Chan asked, allowing you to sit down first before he sat in front of you. 

The music was much quieter in the area, but you figured it had to do with the fact that the table was sectioned off in the VIP. They had their own bar as well, classy stuff. 

“It's for work. I'm going to be here for a few months.” You answered him. “I did study what I could but I still need people to talk slowly.” You explained. 

“Ah, I see. I see. Lucky you, I speak English.” He laughed. 

“Even if you didn't, I'd try my best.” You nodded your head. “Miss the chance to speak with Bang Chan? Mega producer who’s part of 3RACHA?” You gushed, making his face turn red. 

“I wouldn't say mega.” Chan shrugged, getting bashful. 

“I mean I don't know.” You pursed your lips in thought. “The Scoville scale is out here close to blowing up.” You laughed. 

Chan bursted out laughing, cheeks hurting from how much he was stretching them. “You're cool.” He told you. 

“Why thank you!” You waved him off. “I pride myself on being cool.” You said.

“Han would like you.”

“Just going to drop bandmates on me as if I'm not freaking out on the inside.” You suddenly said, making him laugh. 

“You and I both.” Chan answered truthfully. 

“No! Please don't! It's all cool!��� Your eyes went wide hearing his confession.

You both spent a good hour sitting at the table laughing about stories that would come up or just things about the other’s life. Chan hadn’t noticed when his friends would get up to get more drinks or when they would go out to dance. And they didn’t want to disrupt you two either, eyeing each other with smirking as they teased the poor boy behind his back. 

Before you knew it, you were telling your friend that you would be heading back to your temporary home with Chan as company. They gave Chan a thankful smile, bowing down in respect for someone of higher standard. But they told you to be careful, having gotten used to you always telling others that whenever they would leave. 

You found yourself outside some plaza eating Tteokbokki from a small restaurant outside on the sidewalk. The night was nice and cool, leaving you in a refreshed feeling after having danced in the hot club. Chan was laughing at you struggling to get the rice cake on your chopsticks. 

“Why would you eat it like that!?” He laughed, covering his mouth.

“I can't pick it up with the chopsticks!” You exclaimed, stabbing the rice cake treat with both chopsticks so it looked like you were at least eating them correctly. You managed to put it in your mouth before looking up at Chan who was pursing his lips. 

“Don't look at me like that!” You gushed, smile on your face. 

“It's like this.” He moved closer to you, trying to get you to hold the chopsticks correctly. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t know how to use them, it was just that trying to pick up slippery food proved to be harder than you cared to admit. 

“I'm trying!” You exclaimed, moving closer to him as he kept trying to put some food on your chopsticks. 

As you were moving to place it in your mouth, the slippery cake fell from your utensils and onto the floor. “My Tteokbokki!” You cried out.

“Ok fine. Keep stabbing it.” Chan laughed, giving up.

Next thing you knew the night had come to an end and Chan had walked you to the building you were staying at. He had his hands in his pockets, looking up at the tall apartment building before giving you a kind smile. 

“This is me.” You told him. “I had a great time.” You confessed. 

“Me too.” Chan smiled softly. “Thank you for coming out with me.” He added. 

You laughed as your face flushed red. “Of course. Thank you for inviting.” You told him. 

“Ah. I guess I'll see you.” Chan nodded his head, shoulders dropping for just a moment. 

“Yeah.” You nodded your head, soft smile on your face. “I had a really great time. I mean it—thank you for taking me out. Only could ever dream of something like that.” You told him honestly. 

“Yeah.” Chan thought about something for a moment, which made you stop from going in completely. “Ah, is it okay if I ask for your number?” He asked you.

“I mean for me it is but is it for you?” You joked once more. 

“Sounds like a risk. I'll take it.” He mocked you from earlier.  

“You know though, I really don't want to make you sign an NDA.” He quickly added after you both traded numbers. 

“To kiss and tell is just not my style.” You sang off, grinning from ear to ear. 

Chan laughed for a moment, understanding your joke. “But the night is young and it's been a while.” He played along. 

“Ah, you know it! Wasn't expecting you to honestly.” You told him.

“I'm a music producer—I listen to a lot of things. Besides, it's kinda relatable.” He smiled a little, looking down as he took in a calming breath. 

You weren’t going to ask about it, it wasn’t your place. You knew what the song was about–it was one you had heard since you were a little kid. Besides, Chan was an idol who had secrets to keep from the public. That was one of the first things you had to get used to when moving to Korea and working in the entertainment industry. 

“Then I'm happy to be that girl you wanna kiss.” You joked, thinking about the rest of the song.

“I wouldn't go that far.” He laughed, shaking his head. 

You gasped, eyes going wide at the scene you had just made. “Making me sound like a fool then. Ah, forget about it.” You said in a rush, face red from actual embarrassment this time. 

“No, I don't think I will.” Chan hummed, stepping closer to you. 

You watched him step closer, feeling your heart stop for just a moment as he placed his lips against your cheek. “Goodnight, (Y/N).” He told you softly.

“Goodnight Chan.” You smiled. 

You waved him off, turning around when a cold breeze blew past you. He continued on his journey towards his car parked in the front of the building. 

“I wanna kiss a girl. I wanna hold her right. Maybe make a little magic under the moonlight.” You sang to yourself, nodding your head along to the nonexistent beat you were playing in your head. 

“Don't wanna go too far just to take it slow. But I shouldn't be lonely in this big ol world. I wanna kiss a girl.” Chan quietly sang to himself as he walked home. 

Permanent Taglist: @hecateslittlewitchling , @ldysmfrst , @rln-byg , @vampcharxter , @angieskzzzz , @puppyminnnie , @marvel-potter-1d-korea , @smilingtokki

[pennyluna]

SECRET FRIENDS - Min Yoongi- One Shot

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader 18+🔞 (FT.. Jungkook, Mingyu, Hobi, Jimin, Yugyeom)

Wordcount: 2.164 ❤️

Genre: Same friend group Au - Secret friends Au - Secret siatuationship Au

Warning: This story contains strong language and VERY Spicy/sexual content. Be aware before reading.

After a couple of weeks of thinking, I decided to bring my best friend Cassie into my secret circle of friends, it had felt weird not tell her about it before, only the secret wasn't only mine but today I received a message from Jungkook, inviting me to a little weekend away in the countryside  , he felt bad that I was keeping a secret from my  best friend so he said II could bring her along. 

So here we are dropping our stuff in one of the bedrooms. My friend is a little mad at me because I didn't give her a heads up on who she was going to be meeting and because she is embarrassed she was wearing her Mingyu Tshirt when she actually shook Mingyu's hand. In my defence, I did not see it under her jean jacket and Mingyu did find it funny. 

Hobi is preparing the food shopping list so he can go with Jimin and Yugyeom to the supermarket, we are in a pretty small town so not many people would pay much attention to them.  

Mingyu and Jungkook were thinking about drinks but decided to make a tik tok video of a new dance while making Cassie record it. I knew they were going to get along and I am glad they are. 

I met Jungkook a while back while I was volunteering at an animal shelter, we clicked talking about animals, we became friends and soon he introduced me to some of his friends a few of them aren't here because of their busy schedule... There is one in particular that I am waiting for.. I haven't seen him in a while and I know he is going to be here but I can't wait.  Min Yoongi and I talked often when we were at the same gatherings, we had some things in common and he would make sure I felt comfortable and included, one conversation lead to another until one day we were celebrating Jungkook's birthday and after some drinks we ended up sleeping together. I felt incredibly guilty at the thought of ruining this new found friendship so I avoided Yoongi until we met again at a different gathering and we ended up slept together again, we decided to just keep it at that even though I caught feelings. 

"Yoongi Hyun is almost here!" Jungkook yells from the kitchen bar, looking at me with a smirk.  He knows about us, against his own will like he likes to say. He walked in on us doing the deed once when he thought Yoongi was alone in his room. Yoongi had to buy him a full box of banana milk as bribe for his silence and another one as payment for his trauma.

"Staaaup" I mouth at him while he laughs at my sudden blush.

I hear voices outside and I recognize his, he is greeting the boys that are on their way to the super market... I stay on the couch acting as nonchalant as possible but my heart is racing and I am sure it skips a couple of beats as soon as I feel him bend over the couch to level to my ear and whisper  "Hello beautiful.. its been a while!" I can smell his scent and feel his breath on my skin. I don't turn to look at him because I am sure our lips would connect and I have missed him so much, I don't think I would be able to stop at just a kiss.

........................................................

We had dinner and drink outside and now we are playing games, Cassie and the boys are getting along and she is smiling so much, I am worried her chicks will fall! We watch Jimin dance like a chicken as a dare for loosing at the latest game, Jungkook keeps winning and we are all obviously teaming up to make him loose at least once. Yoongi and I keep stealing glances at each other and my stomach keeps fluttering every time he smiles at me and I worry that the longer we keep seeing each other the more painful it will be for me when it ends. When he told me that he was coming this weekend, he also said we had to talk and I feel it is about ending it. 

MYG<3 : should we retire soon?

Me: I don't want to leave Cassie alone.

MYG<3 : She will be fine.

MYG<3 : I want to be alone with you.

Fuck. He wants to have that talk now. I take a break from replying to his messages. I am not ready but better now than later I guess. I tell Cassie that I will go inside for a while to make a phone call to my parents, those usually last long so she wont get worry if I'm gone for a while. 

Me: Okay, lets.

MYG<3 : You go first.

I waited for Yoongi on the second floor, once we were in his room we made small talk, its unbearable and I am feeling awkward so I decide to kick start the more serious conversation.

"So we should talk..." I start but he cuts my sentence with a kiss. I push him back a little putting my hands on his chest to keep the distance. He frowns at me with an inquisitive look.

"What's wrong?" he says placing a hand on my chick while tilting his head.

I think about pushing for the serious conversation but then think about how this will probably be the last time we are this close together, about how I might regret not enjoying him like this one last time and before I can change my mind I close the distance between us and our mouths clash. I expect him to stop me but instead he deepens the kiss and that's all I need to know before I start walking backwards to the bed maintaining eye contact and unbuttoning my jeans and letting them fall to the floor. Yoongi takes his clothes and walks to help me out of my hoodie leaving me in my underwear and biting his lips once he noticed I hadn't been wearing a bra!

He pushes me into the bed and gets on top of me, kissing me deeply and moving his hands freely around my body. I can feel his hard cock when he presses his crotch against mine. His mouth moves around my face and then  my neck, following a trail towards my breast and I cant seem to control my breathing or my racing heart. My head is cloudy, run by pure deep lust, the same one I can see in his eyes when we make eye contact while my nipple is in his mouth. His long fingers are now at my clit, rubbing it with passion and a moan escapes my mouth, he flips me around and pulls my butt up and removes my underwear. He starts making his way to my core starting from the back, delivering wet kisses to my butt and going lower until i feel his long tongue stroking around my entrance and then caressing my clit. My legs shake the more he plays around with my clit, I can feel the orgasm building and once his finger enter me, I cant hold it in anymore and let go. He lick me all over and then I feel his absence, looking towards him I notice the condom on his hand. My mouth waters at the view of his perfectly erected member and I get off the bed and drop to me knees, looking into his eyes I don't wait for him to oppose to this and guide his cock into my mouth, sucking hard and moving my tongue around the tip, earning me a grunt from him, I look up and notice he is hanging his head backwards, then my eyes fall to his free hand and I notice his closed fist... I know what that means, he is itching to hold my head and fuck my mouth, so I grab it and place it at the back of my head, letting him know that its okay to do just what he wants. I feel him thrust forward and I relax my throat to give him full access. I can hear his moans and grunts when I breathe and try my best to swallow around his cock until he stops me abruptly, gets me up and on the bed again, spreading my legs and putting the condom on before he enters me.  We always had great chemistry in bed, our sex was always hot and dirty but tonight there is also something else and its fucking good.  I can feel him inside of me getting frantic,  we have been going at it for a while and after several of my orgasms I can feel his trusts going faster and his cock throbbing inside of me, I know he is close. he kisses me through my latest orgasm and I feel the shock of it starting from my toes, the eye contact sealing it and after my high he pumps a couple more times inside of me before his glorious release. He give me a chaste kiss and then drops next to me. 

"Fuuuck..." he says while breathing heavily

I stay quiet for a while, afraid that if I speak the bubble will break and we will be forced to have that conversation, all while I only want to enjoy this moment.

He kisses my shoulder softly a couple of times and then clears his throat before speaking "I want to tell you something and I need you to listen to me" -FUCK, here we go and I'm not ready-

I hum in response and prepare myself for the worst.

"(Y/N)  you know I care about you and that we have been doing this for a while now..." His voice seems calm but somehow my heart keeps raising and my mind is imagining the worst "I can't do this anymore, the whole secret thing is hard and It is stressing me out.. so maybe we shouldㅡ " he pauses when I move to sit up.

"Right.." I exhale trying to slow downs my breathing "We should just stop this" I walk to my clothes

"What?" he shoots up and grabs my arm, his dark hair slightly wet by the sweat is now attached to his forehead and he looks gorgeous while standing there looking at me in confusion. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I understand, you want to end it. This secret is a problem and we need to end it before it becomes something bigger"  I say slowly and carefully.. his confused expression is starting to freak me out, he is looking at me like I just grew a second head and I become even more confused once he laughs drily.

"I never said I wanted to end it. I want us to continue seeing each other. Iㅡ" 

"Us hooking up sgain is only going to make it harder later one" I say

"Stop. Stop talking." he says, placing a hand to his chest and moving his hair from his forehead "If you would only listen to me, you would know that I don't want to fucking end it. I want you in my life and I thought about us being friends but  the idea of us being anything short that boyfriend and girlfriend kills me and I came here to ask you but... you don't want to?" He looks at me, his face pained and I start tearing up. 

This whole time I thought he wanted to end us, meanwhile he just wanted us to become something more. I can see him trying to find an answer on my face and when I find myself unable to speak, I throw myself at him, kissing him passionately, stopping to whisper in between sobs  "I do want us. I want us to be together. I want to be your girlfriend." and starting a second round of what we had just finished.

.......................................

Its the morning after and I woke up in between his arms, Yoongi and I spent most of the night having sex, intense and meaningful sex until we fell asleep. 

I am in the ensuite shower when he joins me and we go for another rounds, I am incredibly happy and he seems to be in the same state. Every now and then he tells me how happy he is I said yes and how much more relaxed he feels now that we are on the same page. 

We get dressed in between kisses, trying our best to not fall in the bed again because we need energy so we walk holding hands to the kitchen to get some breakfast and we can hear everyone is awake. We had decided to let our friends know about us because it was a good start not having to hide our relationship from them. 

"FUCKING FINALLY" Jungkook yells with a big smile when he sees us entering the Livingroom.

A/N: I hope you guys like this story. Sorry I haven't published in a while, I have been dealing with some personal stuff and with the publishing of my upcoming book so my priorities have been different lately. I will keep writing, I dont have set times but I will work on publishing at least twice a month. Loye you all and please stay healthy and safe.

[seoksgrl]

rather be dead than cool, 4. : jjk nerd!jungkook x popular!reader college au, dislike to love genderbent she's all that au

tws: no warnings just vibes x

m.list prev | next

By the time you and Jeongguk walk through the door to the cabin, Jimin’s party is in full swing, and the host walks you through the crowded hallway into the kitchen where he hands over a red cup full of beer. 

“Only the good stuff,” Jimin says, an uncomfortable smile on his face as he glances between you and Jeongguk, “I’d love to stick around and chat, but Luna is probably wondering where I am,”

“Of course,” You say, eager for the tense energy to evaporate. Once Jimin leaves the scene, Jeongguk sips at his drink, glancing down at you with a quirked brow, “What?”

“That guy? Really?”

Your gaze moves from Jeongguk briefly to look over to where Jimin has found his people, his lips pulled into a smile as he chats with a few other guys and a girl who you recognise from his Instagram feed, “What’s wrong with Jimin?”

Jeongguk shrugs, following your line of sight before looking back to you, “He just seems a little…,” he pauses for a moment, like he’s trying to find the words, “He seems like a jock. I just wouldn’t have guessed he would be your type,”

It’s not the first time this thought has run its way across your own mind, if you are being honest. When you met Jimin, he was loud and rambunctious, loving nothing more than playing beer pong or showing off his skills opening a soju bottle in a variety of ways. Once the two of you began dating, you can admit that you maybe toned him down a little. You wanted a boyfriend who matched you, who was your equal, and in order for Jimin to be that, you needed him to cut out a few of the things that essentially would have made him a red flag for your parents. By the time he actually met them, he was a perfectly polished young man; sensible, chic and intelligent. 

Now that you watch him laugh with his friends, the sound loud enough for you and Jeongguk to hear in the next room, you wonder if perhaps you had been wrong for doing that. Though, it’s not as if your advice to Jimin didn’t have its advantages - when you met, most people on campus didn’t really know who Jimin was. Now, he’s throwing parties every month and inviting most of your cohort. 

In hindsight, Jimin isn’t really your type. But you’ve dated so many different people, you’re not sure what your type is. All you know is how to change them into what you need them to be. 

You’re saved from answering Jeongguk’s statement by the arrival of Mina, her slithe form squeezing its way through the people stood by the entrance to the kitchen before she sees you, waving before walking over. 

“Y/N, hey!” Her eyes immediately slide over to Jeongguk and her reaction is immediate, brows raised in surprise and eyes wide as she gives you a silent look of approval, “I suppose you’re Jeongguk, Y/N has mentioned you,”

Instantly you feel heat rise to your cheeks, and you can only hope Jeongguk doesn’t get the wrong idea about that.

His voice is laced with amusement, though you can tell he’s smiling without looking at him, “I can only imagine what she’s said,”

Mina just laughs in response, and you’re relieved, eager to move the conversation onto something else.

“Is Irene coming?” You want her to be a witness to your work, to see Jeongguk’s new appearance. Competitiveness runs in your blood, thanks to your father who has made himself known as a ruthless businessman. You are desperate to make him proud, to have him look upon you as his greatest success, and you know the way to do that is to follow in his footsteps. But, for now, you just want to beat Irene at this bet. 

“She’s just talking to Yugyeom, you know she has the biggest crush on him,” Mina giggles, eyes wide when she looks at Jeongguk, “Don’t tell her I told you guys though,”

Jeongguk just laughs, and you glance his way, surprised at the sound. You’re not sure you’ve really heard him laugh until now. Your attention is stolen however when Jeongguk’s eyes widen, glancing across the room before his cheeks turn pink. When you turn to see who or what he is looking at, you find that Sana has just entered the party, looking pretty with her dark hair curled down her back, long legs on show in a short pink dress. It’s easy to see why she has the hearts of so many guys, and girls.

Including Jeongguk. 

Turning to Mina, you mutter low enough so Jeongguk can’t hear, “Go talk to Sana,”

“Huh?” She says, “Why?”

“I told Jeongguk that I know her, so go and make me sound good. I’ll introduce myself later,”

Ever the obedient one, Mina nods, taking her freshly made drink and walking over to where Sana stands talking to her friends. Once she’s gone, Jeongguk seems to exhale all the oxygen he was holding in his lungs before gulping down his beer. 

“Hey, take it easy,” You say, “don’t forget that’s your only drink for the night. I already have to ride on the back of that death wish, don’t increase our chances of death by getting wasted,”

He narrows his eyes at you, tossing his cup in the trash, “I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to Sana yet,”

“You don’t have to,” You say, sipping at your still full cup, “I can just make you sound good for tonight. We can’t rush these things,”

He seems relieved, which means you’re off the hook. If Jeongguk found out that you don’t actually know Sana as well as he thinks you do, this whole plan is ruined, and so is your bet. For the remainder of the night, you need Jeongguk to at least talk to some people, so you tell him to amuse himself while you socialise, chatting to a few people you know from class, as well as a couple guys who could be potential dates once this Jeongguk business is all said and done. 

By the time you find Jeongguk again, he’s sat on the steps leading up to the third floor. The second floor is fairly quiet, aside from what you can only assume are a few amorous couples down the corridor leading to the bedrooms. You know the cabin well, and you also know Jimin’s room is down there. You grimace, eager to avoid seeing anything you’d rather not. 

Walking towards Jeongguk, you frown, “Did you not want to socialise?”

He startles a little when he notices you, his body slouched against the stairs, “It may come as a shock to you, but I’m not a frequent partygoer,”

You take the step above him, sitting down and leaning against the railing. Jeongguk twists his body so he’s not sitting with his back to you, his long legs sprawled across the lower stairs. His comment is wrong, of course, you’re not shocked to learn he doesn’t go to parties. 

“Did you speak to Sana?” He asks, voice quiet though you know he’s anticipating any info you have, which is none. 

“Not tonight, no,” You offer an apologetic shrug, “she seems to be busy with her other friends, but don’t worry, I will put in a few good words for you when the time is right. Any reason why you didn’t want to go talk to her?”

Jeongguk looks shy, and despite his non-existent reputation, you are surprised. He never comes across as shy with you, most of the time he’s a pain in the ass, so to see him all pink cheeked and awkward is a whole new side of him. 

“I was nervous,” He sounds embarrassed, and you bite your lip to stop from smiling, “She’s really cute, and I - Are you laughing at me?”

You give him a look of mock-offence, a hand on your heart, “Of course not. I just find it ironic that you can’t talk to Sana, but you are willing to ride a vehicle that has a crazy high chance of killing you with no fear,”

He rolls his eyes to that, standing from his seat on the stairs, “You can keep pretending you didn’t enjoy the ride here, but you won’t fool me. I saw that look in your eye once we arrived,” he grins, “I recognise the adrenaline rush, trust me,”

His observation of you has you feeling oddly exposed, especially because he’s right. You did, on some level totally removed from yourself, enjoy the ride on the motorbike. It was out of your comfort zone, and terrifying, but it also made your heart race like nothing else, and you can’t help but crave the feeling again. It’s wholly inconvenient, given the fact you’re never going to buy a motorbike, but maybe you can enjoy this while it lasts. 

Standing, you’re a head taller than Jeongguk - a rarity when you’re on solid ground - and you narrow your eyes, “Maybe you should stop looking in my eyes then,”

At that, Jeongguk smiles, a different, softer smile than you’re used to seeing. Most of the time he’s teasing you, or vice versa, but now he looks like he genuinely finds you funny. The look is wiped off his face almost as quick as it came, and he rolls his eyes, stepping back so you can walk down the steps.

One of your favourite past times on a breezy, Saturday afternoon was to visit the movie theatre. A purely indulgent outing, though you do have an ulterior motive of sorts. 

Your love of movies has always been present, ever since you were young and you were first treated to a viewing of Clueless as a youngster by your nanny at the time. Of course, if your parents knew you were dedicating time to something as trivial as a trip to the movies, they would be horrified, accuse you of wasting the hours you could have spent on your academic goals. Mostly your mother, more than your father, being that he’s rarely around thanks to work keeping him so busy. The reminder alone makes you sigh as you push your sunglasses up your nose, walking along the quiet street.

Today, you’ve picked a theatre in a…less affluent area in your home city, eager to avoid the hustle and bustle of the centre district, and hoping to save yourself the misfortune of running into any of your friends. Your movie days have always been for you and you alone, and you know your friends wouldn’t come even if you invited them. At most, they would try to lure you to Gangnam for shopping, or to an expensive cafe instead. 

The movie theatre is up ahead, and you begin searching in your purse for your ticket, glancing up for a mere second before your eyes are widening to roughly the size of the moon. You lower your sunglasses, ticket forgotten, as you lock eyes with an equally surprised-looking Jeongguk. 

He’s dressed simply, miles away from the outfit you’d picked out for him at the party, his simple attire of a dark hoodie and jeans allowing him to almost blend in with the gaggle of people around him. At least he would if he weren’t taller than most of them. 

By the time you approach, Jeongguk is appraising you from head to toe as if you’ve just stepped off a spaceship covered in green slime. He waits until you’re standing around a foot away from him before he speaks, “I never thought I would see you here,”

“At a movie theatre?” You respond, continuing your search for your ticket.

“On my side of the tracks, I mean,” He has a wry smile on his lips, like he caught you doing something you shouldn’t, “and in sunglasses too. Wearing a disguise so the rich folk don’t brand you a traitor?”

“You know, I honestly think you’re the most dramatic person I’ve ever met,” 

“Now, I find it hard to believe you’ve never looked in a mirror,”

You give him a fake smile, scoffing at his joke even as he chuckles to himself. You finally find your ticket, lodged under your wallet as you join the queue to get inside, standing behind Jeongguk as he steps forward, the next person to hand his ticket to the usher. You don’t catch a glimpse of the movie he’s here to see, not that you’re looking, of course. Wordlessly, Jeongguk stands by and watches as you do the same, giving your ticket to the young boy in the booth before inexplicably moving to join Jeongguk, as if you’re friends or something. 

How ludicrous.

You seem to catch what you’re doing, passing by Jeongguk and heading straight for the popcorn stands, groaning when Jeongguk darts ahead of you and glances over his shoulder with a wicked grin.  “You’re a child,”

“Don’t be a sore loser,” He remarks, and you almost think of a comeback, but you startle a little at even the thought of pointing out that Jeongguk is the only loser here. It feels far too much like something Irene would say, and despite your tumultuous friendship, you don’t want to follow in her footsteps. 

The line evaporates quickly, people darting off to go into their respective screens; one for a horror flick, another showing an action movie starring Tom Cruise, you think. It’s probable that Jeongguk is going to be heading off into one of those screens once he gets his popcorn, and the thought brings you relief, especially as you’d almost started to sweat a little at the prospect of Jeongguk barging in on your sacred tradition. 

The boy in question steps away from the counter with a bucket of popcorn almost as big as you, and you glance at him with mild judgement before stepping forward. You barely open your lips before the teen at the counter begins apologising. 

“Sorry, we’re all out of popcorn for the moment. It’ll be a fifteen minute wait,”

You stare dumbfounded at the employee, “But the movie starts in a few minutes,” already your comforting, relaxing plans are going off the rails. Your eyes slide over to where Jeongguk stands watching the display, chewing a handful of popcorn with evil delight in his eyes, “You’re barbaric,”

He shrugs, walking backwards as you walk his way, hoping to get into the screen and watch your movie in peace. And also, thanks to Jeongguk, snackless. It takes several moments for you to notice he hasn’t left to file into one of the other screens with the rest of the crowd, and a small flicker of panic works its way through your middle. 

“Aren’t you going to go watch your movie?”

“I am,” He says, frowning when he registers you also haven’t departed, “I take it you’re seeing 10 Things I Hate About You, too?”

“It’s a nineties classic, why wouldn’t I be?” The whole day feels odd, off kilter thanks to Jeongguk’s unexpected appearance. Despite the fact you’ve seen him on campus and at the party last weekend, it feels suddenly strange to have him in your space, as if he’s seeing a part of you that you’ve tried to keep hidden. And there is definitely truth to that, but it’s also because you loath watching movies with other people. 

Jeongguk seems equally perplexed at the situation, shaking himself free from his confusion a moment later as if he finds the whole thing idiotic, “This is dumb, we can see the same movie, it doesn’t have to be a big moment where the gap between the peasants and the rich is bridged,”

When he puts it like that, you almost feel foolish for allowing him to think that you’re social status is the reason why you’re reluctant to be with him right now. It would be easy to let him think you’re that shallow - because in the past, you have been - but for some inexplicable reason, you don’t want him to have that opinion of you right now. 

“I just don’t like watching movies with people,” You say, “that’s the only reason for my hesitation. I don’t care that it’s you here, I’d be like this with anyone,”

He frowns then, shifting the bucket of popcorn in his arms, “Oh, right,”

“Yeah,”

There is a tense moment of silence where the two of you just kind of stand there, missing the previews that come before the movie no doubt. Jeongguk doesn’t move, and neither do you, not until his lips part and he hesitates before speaking. 

“We could sit together, if you want,” Then his devilish grin is back, and all feels right with the world, “I’ll even let you share my popcorn,”

There are a few beats where you consider his proposal, deciding just this once to go against your values and watch a movie with another person. It’s nothing really, just two people who happen to know each other viewing a movie at the same time, eating popcorn from the same bucket. And you really want to watch your movie, and eat the popcorn. 

“Fine,” You reply, lifting your chin, “but this is a one-time thing,”

“Absolutely,”

“Don’t talk during the movie or I will be forced to cut your head off,” You begin walking around Jeongguk, heading towards the doors to your screen.

He follows behind, and you notice him nod out the corner of your eye, “Spoken like a true bourgeoisie,” 

As always, your conversation with Jeongguk ends with an eye roll from you, and a snicker from Jeongguk.

taglist: @kyglover @jk97bam @btsffreader92 @jjeonjjk7 @lanabanananutbuster

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[hamsterclaw]

hookup

Your big dumb goon's changed his hair again. Part of the Freak on a bike AU - read the rest here.

Pairing: RM x afab reader

Word count: 1.1k

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Sex, swearing, big dick Joon

You have another job at the weekends, the bar girl at some swanky new club uptown.

There’s no uniform apart from skin and black satin, a bow tie if the table’s especially corny.

You’re pretty good at keeping your flammable clothes from setting alight, especially with all the cheap sparklers you bring out for the big spenders.

You step out for a breather after you’ve served your latest table, your lungs grateful for the respite from musk and sandalwood cologne, Lynx body spray.

There’s a commotion by the back door you’ve just stepped out of, you watch, amused, as two of the bouncers escort some nouveau-riche city asshole out.

Wait.

You’d know the back of that neck anywhere.

Your big dumb goon’s had a haircut since you last saw him, close-cropped to his head so you can see exactly how his hair grows out of his scalp, no extra length to weigh it down.

He looks like the fat boys you went to school with, you think you like it.

He turns, spots you braced against the wall opposite.

‘Nice suit,’ he says, smiling all over his big dumb face, easing you out of your reflex snarl so easily it’s ridiculous.

‘Nice hair,’ you say, eyeing him the way he’s eyeing you.

He runs a hand over it, leans down like he’s inviting you to touch.

You pat him on the head. His hair is softer than it looks. You try to get enough of it in your fingers to pull but you can’t.

He’s all dimples and round head, and you’re endeared.

He’s still looking at you, more than a hint of hope in his eyes, the horny motherfucker.

‘You’re too cute to fuck now,’ you say, turning up your nose at him to head back inside.

He just laughs as he follows you back in, when the hell did this dumb goon become so cocky?

***

You usually get changed after work, who the hell wants to be walking around the nightclub district at 3am in a satin choker and stripper heels, but you’ve been thinking about him all night.

His stupid new haircut and how you want it between your legs.

You wander casually round the front to say goodbye to Yugyeom the bartender, look around.

Your big dumb goon doesn’t let you down.

His hands are shoved in the pockets of his suit pants, head hung so you don’t have to look up so much to see him.

‘Wanna ride?’ he asks, tongue in his literal cheek, making his dimple pop.

‘Yeah.’

You want to ride everything about him.

***

His car’s parked three streets over next to the underpass where you first met.

‘Where’s your bike?’ you ask, a tease in your voice.

‘I got my license, remember?’

He slides into the driver seat, reaches over to open your door, his pants stretched over his thighs, tight.

He catches you looking, you weren’t trying to hide it anyway.

‘You can ride,’ he says, manspreading a bit, now who’s the tease.

‘You got bigger,’ you say.

‘I’ll make it fit,’ he assures you.

You can’t see his face clearly in the dark, but you can hear him snicker, low.

Then he starts the car, gets going.

***

He parks up outside your block, turns to you.

Looks hard at how you’ve unbuttoned the top two buttons of your satiny waistcoat.

‘Eyes up here,’ you murmur.

He smirks a little, this big dumb guy, and his gaze drops even more, centering on the flash of pale pink panties between your legs.

‘I got a roommate,’ you tell him.

He takes that in his stride.

‘I got a backseat,’ he offers.

You roll your eyes. ‘Kiss me.’

He likes kissing, he’s big and clumsy but so fucking endearing. He kisses you like he’s sneaking kisses at prom, hungry and like he wants to put a corsage on you or some shit.

You part your lips, let him slip you his tongue because you know he likes it sloppy and wet.

When you pull away he’s breathing hard.

You both look down at your hand touching him over his pants.

‘I missed you,’ he says, a declaration, heartfelt, sweet.

Your own heart skips.

‘That you or your dick talking, pretty boy?’ you ask.

You don’t give him a chance to answer, unzip your skirt so you can climb into his lap.

He’s getting his pants down, he’s not that dumb, not when it comes to this.

He’s as big as you remember, maybe even bigger, the way he’s holding himself up.

You start to lower yourself down on his fat cock, hissing a little at the sting, when movement outside his window distracts you.

Shit it’s not that the outside is moving, it’s that the goddamn car is moving.

‘The brakes, fuck,’ you moan, mad with frustration and that he’s still only halfway in.

He yanks up the handbrake, bucks his hips up into you so hard your head hits the roof of the car.

You don’t feel it, don’t feel anything but his cock splitting you open all the way.

Shit, he feels good.

He reaches into your top, scoops your breast out and sucks at your tit.

You know he’s trying to distract you from being mad at him for not parking the car properly.

You know it’s working.

He’s panting now, flushed and pretty, skin gleaming as he helps you ride him.

‘Can’t hold it,’ he warns, words muffled by your tits right in his face.

‘Let me have it, baby,’ you soothe, because you know he’s going to make you come, he’s always been good at it.

He grunts, fucks harder, makes you squeal on his cock and squirt all over him.

Fuck.

Fuck!

You can feel him tense and hard inside, feel the groan in his chest as he spills, face buried between your tits.

You put your hand on his head, stroke his almost buzz cut, silky and soft, until he stops groaning your name.

***

You realise in his haste to get to your tits he’d pulled off three buttons on your three button waistcoat, the big goon.

He shucks his shirt to give you willingly enough, and for some dumb reason hands you his sunglasses too even though it’s 4am and dark as fuck.

You slip them on anyway.

‘I’m working tonight, want me to pick you up?’ he offers.

With the sunglasses on you can look at him as much as you like without him getting the wrong fucking idea.

That you care about him or some shit.

‘Sure,’ you say, nonchalant.

He smiles so brightly it’s like he’s just won the lottery and your heart feels like it’s free falling.

You turn away deliberately, open the door to let yourself out.

‘Hey,’ you say.

His dimples should be illegal, a big goon like him’s got no business being so goddamn cute.

What’s he so goddamn cute for?

‘I missed you too,’ you tell him. You try to sound sour but it comes out sweet, kind of like his smile.

[marvelous-llama]

GOT7 recs

most of the mentioned works is 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI

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<<next chapters

pls don´t hesitate to hmu, if any of mentioned links doesn´t work or you have suggestions for more fics... thank you so much for all the love and comments

OT7

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[spacequokka]

Beautiful Thing | 08

Pairing: Yugyeom x Reader, Future GOT7 x Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Soulmate AU, Poly AU, Enemies to Lovers AU Rating: T (explicit language) Summary: Yugyeom finds himself at odds with BamBam when he tries to be kind and friendly to you. Word Count: 4.0k Warnings: None?

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Yugyeom felt like he was going to vomit. The butterflies in his stomach wouldn't settle down. His skin had been buzzing since he hugged you at the hotel. He'd tried to tell himself that he was just excited because the situation was new, something he'd never experienced before. However, in the back of his mind, he knew the truth. It was all about you. You were the anomaly.

The group filed onto the smaller private airplane, a courtesy given by the SeoulMate company given the unique situation. It was nicer than he'd expected and a bit more luxurious than the ones he'd traveled in before. Perfect for your first flight with them. With him. You brought up the rear, dragging your small carry-on bag behind you like a dead body. Your lips were curved in the cutest pout he'd ever seen and discontent rolled off you in waves. He slowed his pace until he got to your side.

"Would you like to sit beside me?" He gave you a shy smile. "I'm pretty sure Jackson's gonna sit with us."

BamBam overheard the question and turned around. "What? You usually sit with me."

'Oh...' Yugyeom's eyes widened, and he shrugged a shoulder. "If you can convince Jackson to sit elsewhere...It's her first flight and I wanna keep her company. It's just one time, bro." BamBam's eyes darted to you and narrowed before he turned back around, increasing his pace to disappear among the staff.

"Oh, great. The drama queen's mad at me, too." You sighed loudly and rolled your eyes. When you looked up at Yugyeom, the butterflies went nuts. "You don't have to sacrifice your bromance for me. I'll be just fine. It isn't like I didn't agree with this."

He patted the top of your head with a smile. "He'll get over it. I think a three-hour plane flight is a great time to get to know you. After all, you're a person, not an inconvenience."

Your breath caught for a second, and your mood visibly brightened at his words. "Thank you. It's nice to hear that after all the glares Jinyoung's throwing at me."

"No one's glaring," Jinyoung muttered as he squeezed by and settled into a window seat.

Yugyeom directed you to a window seat on the opposite side of the plane, but you shook your head. "No thanks. I don't need a visual reminder of the impossible physics of this death box."

"Can you please not call it that while I'm in it? Thanks." Mark interjected without looking up from his phone.

"What else should I call it?" You fired back.

"How about 'majestic vessel of life' or something? Anything but that."

"Oh okay. This 'fanciful fucking unicorn' then."

"Language!" Jaebeom called out from somewhere. Yugyeom couldn't help but notice how comfortable you were with bickering with them. Did you even notice it? Though he wished it interactions weren't negative, you fit right in.

"Oh, fuck off." You mumbled under your breath and dropped into the middle seat.

Yugyeom spotting Jackson making his way down the aisle, eyes set on you. He smiled and stood up. You whined as he practically smothered you as he pushed his way to the vacant window seat, crushing you into the seat before letting up. He couldn't help but smile as you blinked owlishly at Jackson as he busied himself with digging around in his bag. "I brought extra stuff in case you need anything." He dropped a water bottle into your hands and put a travel pillow around your neck.

"Jackson, wait—"

Yugyeom filled the seat next to you, looking around to see if the group had all found a seat with his hand out to Jackson. Without being asked, Jackson gave him a water bottle, too.

As usual, Jackson turned into a mother hen with his attention devoted solely to you. It was a refreshing change from being on the receiving end. "The bathroom's in the back, but I'll walk with you if you're uncomfortable walking on your own."

"I know I said this was my first flight, but really, you don't have to go through this much trouble."

He paused and looked you in the eyes. "It isn't any trouble. If anything, it's a pleasure." His face lit up with a wide grin. "I'm doing something useful for you, right? You don't mind, do you?"

Your shoulders drooped in defeat and Yugyeom bit back a chuckle. No one was immune to Jackson's charm. "Yes, this is fine. Thank you, Jackson." You smiled at him. "It means a lot that you care."

A Christmas tree would fail to compare to the light he gave off upon hearing your words. He meant well. Everyone knew that. It'd take patience and reassurance to break him out of his habit of seeking validation. Though they as a group had become accustomed to it, Yugyeom found himself hoping you'd stick around long enough to help them out.

It wasn't long before the pilot came on with his greeting and itinerary with the stewards and stewardesses shooing away electronics and making sure everyone was buckled in properly. Jackson gently took your hand and held it while they explained the standard emergency procedures. You didn't realize you were manhandling the armrest and gritting your teeth.

"It'll be okay. I promise," he whispered, raising your hand to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. Why hadn't Yugyeom thought to do that? "I won't let anything happen to you."

"You can't possibly keep a promise like that." You said flatly. Yugyeom's fingertips grazed your knee a few times before you realized he was itching to hold your other hand. Without thinking, you grabbed his hand and squeezed it when the plane shook and began edging forward down the runway.

"I can!" Jackson said indignantly. "I can swim—"

"We're not going over water." You and Yugyeom said in unison. A tingle sparked between your palms but you didn't show any signs of having felt it too.

"I've been skydiving—"

"You're afraid of heights." You and Yugyeom answered together. Yugyeom glanced at you but your eyes were on Jackson. Did you even hear him?

"Okay, but I'd die to protect you!"

"Jackson," you put your hand on his knee, "It's okay. You don't have to try so hard for me."

"But I want to." He spoke softly with a slight pout.

"Honestly, that you even want to is more than enough for me." It was just enough to cheer him up again. Yugyeom noticed Jaebeom watching, eyebrows creased with concern. When you continued to speak, Yugyeom turned back to you. "But make sure you care about yourself just as much, okay? I mean it."

Jackson nodded, cheeks flushing with color as he looked down at your clasped hands. "Okay."

Soon enough, the plane was in the air and Dallas became a cluster of dots on the ground. You visibly relaxed into your seat as Jackson rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb. Yugyeom wanted to do something like that, but he wasn't sure you'd allow it. You hadn't known him as long or as well as you did Jackson. The monitor in the seat in front of him flickered between advertisements and a thought struck him.

"Hey, we can watch a movie to pass the time." He nudged your shoulder with his. "What kind of movies do you like?"

You looked at him before your eyes went upward. "I'm not too picky, really. Though maybe we could save the scary stuff for later?" When your gaze returned to his, another tingle blossomed over his skin.

"I can work with that." He smiled before touching the screen. A few swipes later and logo music began to play.

The flight was relatively smooth, with only a few patches of turbulence along the way. You leaned against him the entire time, still holding Jackson's hand, eyes glued on the screen. At some point a stewardess came along with food and he found himself sharing popcorn with you. He thought of Jackson's time alone with you and realized that despite you both being surrounded by others, you were still in your own little bubble. Not quite as intimate as sharing a full meal, but basically a movie date. He'd told himself he'd just be friendly, make you feel as welcome as he could. Yet, he couldn't deny the sparks whenever your skin brushed against his. Couldn't stop his thoughts from embracing the idea of you being his soulmate. By the end of the movie, you were dozing off, using Yugyeom's shoulder as a makeshift pillow. He didn't mind one bit.

He entertained himself with sending memes to BamBam, ignoring the fact that he was left on read. He could understand his closest friend's annoyance but he had to admit he was having the time of his life. He'd beg for forgiveness later if needed. Right now, he wanted to enjoy the moment and commit it to memory. When you woke up from your nap, the plane was beginning its descent. You looked out the window and saw the glittering buildings below, signaling your arrival at your destination.

As the plane touched down and taxied to the gate, you and Jackson clasped hands tightly, your eyes closed as if that would make the descent any smoother. Yugyeom found himself humming a song and seized the moment to hold your other hand, mirroring Jackson's calming caress with his thumb. He was more than pleased with himself when you seemingly melted against his arm again, eyes still shut.

"Oh, god tell me when its over." You muttered and he liked that you sought him out for comfort.

As soon as the seatbelt sign turned off, everyone began standing up to gather their belongings from the overhead bins.

"See? We made it!" Jackson exclaimed with a triumphant grin as he unbuckled his seatbelt. You let out a sigh of relief and opened your eyes, returning his smile. "Yeah, we did. This time, at least."

Yugyeom leaned in and caught your gaze. "Are you okay?"

You nodded, feeling shaky but trying to hide it. "Yeah, I'm fine." You attempted to stand up and grab your bag from the overhead compartment but stumbled when the plane jerked suddenly.

"Whoa there," Jackson caught you before you could fall. "Maybe we should wait for everyone else to get off first."

You nodded gratefully and sat back down. BamBam shuffled off the plane with the others, pointedly ignoring Yugyeom. When the plane was finally empty, you stood up again and grabbed your bag without any problems this time.

Yugyeom nodded in agreement before looking at his phone. "Our luggage should be at baggage claim already."

"That's quick," you said as you followed them out of the plane and towards baggage claim. Soon enough, all three of you were standing in front of a carousel waiting for your luggage to come around.

When you spotted your suitcase and stepped away to grab it, Jackson leaned in and whispered, "Are you and Bam gonna be okay? I don't think I've ever seen him this pissed at you of all people."

Yugyeom shrugged. "He can't be mad forever. And I guess it's new for him. He's never had to share my attention with anyone like this before."

"Yeah, he can be pretty childish sometimes." Jackson nodded.

Yugyeom chuckled as you struggled to free your luggage from the moving belt. They both took a step forward to help you but Jaebeom made it to your side first. "He'll be okay. Just needs time to calm down. In the meantime," he tilted his head to the side, eyes still on you, "we can make sure she's having fun."

"Here, let me get that." Jaebeom reached over your shoulder, startling you in the process. As you moved aside for him, he caught a whiff of your perfume, something light and sweet. He grabbed the handle of your suitcase and yanked it off the belt.

"Thank you..." You frowned and it took him a second to realize why.

"Just call me Jay." He set the luggage down and pulled up the handle. The frown went away instantly. "I don't mind."

You fiddled with the suitcase, unable to look at him. "You sure? I don't want to disrespect you or anything in front of the others."

He shrugged and fought a smile as he slipped his hands in his pockets. "Its not like those brats care."

You smirked. "I know, I just...It's not the same is it? I'm not one of them. That and I don't wanna add to your stress if I can help it."

He found himself smiling, touched that you cared about his wellbeing. "As long as you're traveling with us, I'll treat you no differently from them." He gently bumped you with his elbow. "Just say no to Yugyeom and his stupid pranks."

"They're not stupid! As long as you have a sense of humor, they're fun!" Yugyeom pulled you away. "Don't listen to him. He's old and boring."

With a strike like lightning, Jaebeom grabbed the back of Yugyeom's neck and squeezed. "Say that again."

Soon enough everyone's baggage was found and loaded onto the shuttles going to the hotel. Due to the size of the group, they had to split up. Once again, Yugyeom and Jackson insisted on riding with you. Jaebeom caught the nasty look BamBam gave you and he was grateful that Jackson didn't see it. He didn't feel like mediating another argument so soon after the one between him and Jinyoung. The animosity was understandable to a degree. You were an outsider to most of them, and trust was a hard thing to earn in their world. However, since he'd shaken your hand he was beginning to see that Jackson had a point. People with bad intentions give off bad vibes. Ones that, as far as he could tell, you didn't have.

He told himself he'd reserve judgment until later when enough time had passed, but that handshake seemed to change something in him. Cool static had rippled throughout his body when your warm, dainty hand filled his. It'd taken every ounce of control he had to force himself to let go. Holding your hand felt right, as natural as breathing or singing.

And he could see he wasn't the only one affected. Even now you were sandwiched between Jackson and Yugyeom, discussing the things to do in Las Vegas with Jackson holding your hand and Yugyeom's arm around your shoulders. One would never guess you hadn't known them longer than a few days.

He was a romantic at heart. It was hard to say which side he took in this as he'd always imagined having a soulmate of his own. Someone meant just for him, one he didn't have to share with the others like he did everything else in his life. Was that selfish?

Thoughts like that wouldn't help him here and now. When the vans stopped outside their hotel, he remembered the brief phone call he'd had with JYP. Taejoon had predictably snitched on him, stressing that the decision to bring you along was Jaebeom's doing. As a result, any expenses that you occurred were coming out of Jaebeom's pocket. He was lucky he made a decent amount of money from royalties otherwise he'd have trouble booking and paying for your room. The need to keep it a secret from the guys wasn't entirely unfounded. He could see Jinyoung throwing a hissy fit and possibly making you feel like you needed to pitch in. For the sake of peace, it'd be his little secret.

"Here you go," he smiled handing you the key cards to your suite. "It's on the floor below us. Hopefully we won't bother you."

"Thanks—" Your fingers touched his and that soothing ripple of calmness washed over him again. "Don't worry. I've dealt with way worse than this chaos. It's almost like a mini vacation at this point."

Jackson materialized at your side, peering over your shoulder. "Is it a double? Can I room with you if it's a double?"

Jaebeom pushed him away with a hand covering his face. "Don't be eager or weird. She gets a room to herself. She'll be able to sleep in and go down to breakfast."

Jackson pushed his hand away. "But what if she gets lonely? We can't leave her here by herself."

You rubbed his arm with a look of concern Jaebeom was sure couldn't be copied by even the best actresses in the world. "I don't mind. I can't begin to imagine how busy you guys will be. I'd only slow you down and I don't wanna hear Jinyoung's mouth."

Jinyoung scoffed as he pushed by, heading for the elevators. "Wouldn't have to worry about it if you weren't here."

Three things happened simultaneously. Jackson opened his mouth to fire back as Jaebeom turned to tell Jinyoung to be nice. Yet, you beat them both to the punch by speaking up with a forced smile. "Jackson, would you like to see what my room looks like? You can walk me through the hotel room check you were telling me about on the plane."

Your sweet smile and gentle pull on Jackson's arm sucked the tension away in an instant. Jackson turned his attention back to you, eyes alight with his eagerness. "Of course!"

It was weird to have someone else be the voice of peace. The two of you started toward the elevators and Yugyeom joined, pointing at a brochure he'd picked up. BamBam and Mark joined Jinyoung leaving you three to wait for another one to come back down. Jaebeom adjusted his backpack and joined the queue. He hated that what was supposed to be a simple promotion with fanmeets was slowly dividing the group in two. Hopefully, once it was all said and done, their personal relationships would still be intact.

After an intense game of rock-paper-scissors, Jaebeom and Jackson ended up sharing a room for the duration of their stay. It was the first time since they landed in America that they'd had this much time together. Jackson wanted to sneak down to your room to stay up and talk but Jaebeom wasn't having it.

"Absolutely not."

Jackson flopped down on his bed with a disappointed frown. "Come on, Jaebeom. It's just a little fun. Besides, it's not like I'm asking to sneak out of the hotel."

Jaebeom sat on the edge of his bed, phone in hand as he scrolled through the schedule for the next few days. He sighed without looking up. "It's not about having fun, Jackson. We need to be careful about how we handle things with her here."

"But she isn't like other people we've met. She's different," Jackson insisted, his voice laced with a sincerity that made Jaebeom pause. There was something different about you, something that made everyone act a bit out of character.

"Different or not," Jaebeom finally said, locking his phone and meeting Jackson's gaze. "We have to maintain some professionalism. We can't set precedents that we might regret later."

Jackson rolled onto his side, propping his head up with his hand. "You like her, don't you?"

The question was abrupt, and Jaebeom felt a defensive wall go up instinctively. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything," Jackson shot back softly. "Because if you have feelings for her—even purely platonic ones—then it makes sense why you're being extra cautious. You care."

Jaebeom rubbed his temples, feeling the onset of a headache. "I just met her, Jackson."

"Love at first sight is a thing, y'know. There's nothing wrong with trusting your gut and just going with it."

He sighed deeply, hating that he had to be the one to burst Jackson's bubble. "You say that a lot don't you? Throw yourself all in for anyone who catches your eye and shows you the tiniest bit of attention and care just for, what, it all to fall apart? Love at first sight seems to leave you alone and heartbroken too often, doesn't it?"

Jackson went silent, the easy smile fading from his face as Jaebeom's words settled over him like a heavy blanket. For a moment, the room was thick with unspoken thoughts and regrets, punctuated only by the distant hum of Las Vegas beyond their window.

Finally, Jackson let out a deep breath and sat up, swinging his legs off the bed to face Jaebeom more directly. "Maybe you're right," he admitted quietly, "but every time it feels real, feels like it could be the thing that changes everything. Isn't it worth the risk?"

Jaebeom didn't answer immediately. He knew Jackson's heart was in the right place. It always was. But as their leader, it was his job to think about the consequences, to protect not just his own heart but also those of his bandmates—and now, seemingly, yours.

"Perhaps," he finally conceded, "but remember we have our responsibilities. We're here for work first." He glanced up at Jackson, noting the genuine confusion in his eyes. "Let's try to keep things simple and not complicate matters further."

Jackson nodded slowly, though his disappointment was palpable. He lay back down, staring at the ceiling. "Alright, Jaebeom. I'll keep my distance. For now."

Jaebeom felt a twinge of guilt watching Jackson's enthusiasm dim—a brightness that was rare in the often grueling routine of their industry—but he knew boundaries were essential, especially with so much at stake professionally.

Was it bad that Yugyeom wasn’t as bothered by the tears as he used to be? Now that they’d been given dummy devices to wear to keep up the ruse of “searching” he thought he’d feel even worse about lying to their fans. They truly believed they had a chance with pairing with a member of the group. It was wrong, immoral.

Yet when he filed backstage with the others, he couldn’t help but smiling when he saw you tucked away in a corner with a notebook in your lap. As everyone began to change and found a stylist, he found himself wandering over to you.

“Hey there.” He plopped down in the chair next to you and you jumped.

“Oh, jeez!” You put the hand holding the pen over your heart. After a quick glance around the room your gaze found his. “It’s over already?”

Was it bad that Yugyeom wasn't as bothered by the tears as he used to be? Now that they'd been given dummy devices to wear to keep up the ruse of "searching" he thought he'd feel even worse about lying to their fans. They truly believed they had a chance to pair with a member of the group. It was wrong, immoral.

Yet when he filed backstage with the others, he couldn't help but smile when he saw you tucked away in a corner with a notebook in your lap. As everyone began to change and found a stylist, he found himself wandering over to you.

"Hey there." He plopped down in the chair next to you and you jumped.

"Oh, jeez!" You put the hand holding the pen over your heart. After a quick glance around the room, your gaze found his. "It's over already?"

"It's been two hours. Have you been writing this entire time?" He leaned closer to see your notepad but you quickly hid it against your chest. "Oh, come on. It can't be that bad. May I see, please?"

You hesitated, biting your lip as you considered his request, then slowly lowered the notebook. "Only because it's you," you said with a half-smile, handing it over. "Tell no one that I let you do this."

Yugyeom's eyes lit up as he gently took the notebook from your hands. His gaze flicked across your neatly scribbled words, a mixture of excitement and curious respect etching across his features. As he read, his expression softened, and occasionally, a chuckle escaped him.

"Is this about my dandelion tattoo?"

You shrugged shyly. "I noticed it when we were on the plane. I couldn't stop thinking about it so...I put it in words."

"This is really pretty." Yugyeom said sincerely, looking up at you with admiration. "The way you describe it makes me even happier that I got it. And this part," he pointed to a line in the middle of the page, "where you talk about how music can be a person's dandelion—it's beautiful."

Flattered by his compliments, he watched as your cheeks deepened in color as you fought the smile. "Thank you, Yugyeom. That means a lot coming from you."

He nodded and handed back the notebook. "You should keep writing. Who knows? Maybe one day you'll write a song for us."

The idea made you laugh softly, the sound mingling with the constant buzz of activity around you. "Oh sure. Maybe I will," you agreed playfully.

Yugyeom stood up just as one of the staff members called him over. Before he left, he turned to face you again. "Don't forget us when you become a famous writer," he joked with a wink.

"I won't," you promised, watching him walk away before turning back to your poetry.

Previous | Masterpost | Next

[flurrys-creativity]

Royal Quest

Pairing: Kim Yugyeom (GOT7) x GN!Reader; Genre: Royal AU, Shifter AU, Historical AU, Angst, Fluff; Rating: sfw, PG-13; Warnings: mentions of blood, an accident and bandages, mentions of human sacrifices and fights; Wordcount: 2.094

Summary: Yugyeom got gravely hurt on his quest to kill the ferocious dragon. To his fortune you found him and intended to nurse him back to health. Would he accept that though with you being the ferocious dragon?

A/N: This is part of a deal with @daemour and I finally managed to pull off my part of the deal again!!!!

Yugyeom winced in pain from his sudden movement upon hearing pebbles and boulders rolling further down the mountain. He didn’t know how long he laid there, heavily injured from his fall, but it seemed to be enough time for the first animals to approach.

He forced his eyes open, vision blurry and unfocused, yet he saw something colourful a few feet away from him. A stark contrast to the otherwise grey surrounding. 

With his last strength Yugyeom tried to raise his sword, ignoring the pain that shot through his body. The metal clattered against the stone as he was unable to move his arm at all. Yugyeom bit on his lower lip, refusing to show any weakness. 

As the seventh son of the kingdom, with no chance of ascending to the throne and constantly teased by his older brothers, he grew accustomed to swallowing his pain and hiding his true emotions. For the same reason he decided to leave the safety of the castle and made his way into the mountains in search of the dragon that supposedly terrorised the citizens of a nearby town.

The castle had received a lot of complaints, saying they couldn’t mine any further without the dragon attacking them. The kingdom relied on the riches hidden deep inside these mountains and no dragon should prevent the wellbeing of the kingdom.

Yugyeom’s hand trembled as he still tried raising his sword, showing whatever had appeared in front of him that he wasn’t the simple meal it imagined him to be.

A thought crossed his mind, the possibility of a human having found him. “Who are you?” His voice sounded off, way too deep and raspy for his own liking.

He didn’t get an answer and that colourful thing didn’t move either. Yugyeom sighed and dropped the tension from his arm, his whole body relaxing as much as it could with all the pain numbing it. The thought he started hallucinating either from blood loss or from being alone for so long made its way into Yugyeom’s mind.

Despite the blurry vision Yugyeom tried to keep looking at the splotch of colour. Though even that became too much of a burden and his eyes rolled upwards. 

Dark clouds chased each other far up in the sky, giving the illusion there was no distance between the grey mountains and the grey clouds, the only difference being one of them moved around. A raindrop hit Yugyeom’s face. ‘Great’, he thought and closed his eyes. Though it wouldn’t be much of a difference with the coldness of his skin.

~

The scent of blood made you crawl out of your hideout, following your nose towards the source. You desperately hoped it was only the remnants of a wild animal being killed by a mountain lion or eagle. Anything would be okay, as long as the humans didn’t start sacrificing their animals or worse their own kind again.

It had been centuries since that happened but the horror still haunted your dreams from time to time. You had gone deep into the mountains as a result, far away from the humans in hopes of never crossing them again until a few years ago, when you came home to a ransacked bedroom. Seeing it smashed like that, you had gone berserk.

In hindsight you might have overreacted at that time but your instincts had run wild on that night.

You stopped in your movements, seeing an injured person between debris on the ground. Blood oozed out of several wounds all across the body and the human appeared unconscious until your eyes snapped to the shaking hand, taking note of the sword that clattered against the stone. 

You stood a few feet away from the human, not moving an inch while you observed the situation. Even when a deep male voice spoke to you, you kept silent and waited. Waited until the human actually lost consciousness.

Once that happened you changed your form, your scaly body now towering over the small human being. You grabbed the body with one of your mighty claws, careful as to not hurting him any further. You shielded the body with your other claw after you pushed yourself into the air and glided on the back of the wind. 

When you reached your home, you placed the human on your bed, pulling fur and other soft things closer to his body before you turned into your human form again. You stared at him, contemplating why you brought him into your home.

You didn’t know much about humans but he looked like a fighter with the sword and the shiny plates covering most of his body. You definitely didn’t want any of that near him once he woke up again. It felt like walking on eggshells when you removed those plates, questioning why a human would wear something so uncomfortable. They didn’t bend and move along the body like your scales, you couldn’t imagine he had a lot of freedom moving around in that.

Only after you removed them came the whole severity of his wounds to light, making you swallow harshly. You didn’t want to know how much blood he already lost before you even found him. The possibility this human died in your care became threateningly high. You also didn’t want to imagine what kind of reaction other humans would have if they ever found out. For a moment you wondered whether he would be missed, meaning more humans would come to find him.

You shook your head, trying to get rid of your thoughts. There was only one solution: You had to nurse him back to health and then bring him far away from your home but near other humans so he could show everyone that he was in fact still alive and well.

~

The scent of a warm broth pulled Yugyeom from his slumber. He groaned as he stretched his limbs with closed eyes, wincing slightly from the lingering stinging sensation. 

His eyes opened together with his memories of dying in the rain. Yugyeom pushed himself up and looked around, unfamiliar with his surroundings. He blinked several times while he tried processing his own thoughts and what he saw.

His attention shifted from the cave like room to the bright colours that appeared in the corner of his vision. Blue, green, red, yellow - somehow you had matched every colour he knew in your outfit.

“You’re awake.” You carefully moved closer to him, offering him a wooden bowl with a clear, steaming liquid. “You must be hungry. I can bring you some other things to eat as well.”

Yugyeom hesitantly accepted the bowl with a nod, watching how you turned around and left through a narrow hall. He glanced down at the broth, tentatively sniffing it. It was then that he noticed the linen bandages wrapped around several parts of his body. 

“Don’t move too much”, you interrupted him as you brought steamed vegetables and meat in more bowls. “Your wounds just started closing a few days ago.”

“How long was I out?”

You pursed your lips in thought, placing the bowls next to him, and sat down on the ground. “A week? More or less, I think.” You shrugged with your shoulders. “I wasn’t outside that much.” You looked up at him, tilting your head with curiosity. “Are you warm again?”

Yugyeom stared at you with a confused expression, waiting for you to elaborate. 

“You were very cold when I found you. I had to warm you up a lot!” You kept a safe distance from him and observed his every movement, noticing how he appeared to be in distress.

“Warm me?” Yugyeom sputtered, feeling the heat creeping up his neck and tinting his ears a darker shade of red. His eyes darted around the area, making sure his thoughts were justified - and indeed there were barely any blankets around. He glanced back at your form, desperately trying to pull his mind out of the gutter.

“You look like you’re too warm now.”

Yugyeom choked on air and started coughing violently. He never met a person so straightforward. Even though he was only the seventh prince of the kingdom and got teased relentlessly by his older brothers, he still got treated like royalty by anyone else. Though he had to admit, he liked it.

His eyes landed back on your form, eyes narrowing slightly in thought. “Who are you?” Seeing how you tensed, Yugyeom let his gaze roam around the room one more time. “Also, where am I and where are my belongings?”

“The metal plates and pointy thing?”

Yugyeom nodded, dumbfounded.

“They’re outside. These things are dangerous and can hurt you,” you explained quietly, avoiding eye contact.

“They’re supposed to help me, so I can defeat the ferocious dragon!”

“Ferocious?” You scoffed, barely able to suppress the smoke rolling out of your nostrils. You quickly got up and walked away from the human. “Maybe if the dragon would be left alone, there would be no need for the attacks.”

“Maybe if my people could peacefully do their work up in the mountains, there would be no need to bother the dragon!” Yugyeom sat up completely, feeling irritated by your behaviour.

You turned back around, chest rising in anger. “If their work wouldn’t include invading my home, I wouldn’t have to defend myself!”

Yugyeom’s jaw dropped to the floor. “Your home?” He pushed himself from the bed and hurried over to you, grabbing your upper arm. “You’re the dragon?” His eyes wandered over your form, searching for the tail or horns or even some scales. “How? Aren’t you human?”

You scoffed and raised an eyebrow, even stepping closer to him until your chests touched. “Am I not looking ferocious enough? Am I too tiny, not beastly enough?” You had to tilt your head back so you could properly look at him. It irked you how he looked at you - not in fear or horror, no, he stared at you in wonder. For a split second you even played with the thought of simply shifting right in front of him.

“You’re messing with me.” Yugyeom let go of your arm and stepped back, running his hands through his hair. “Did my brothers set you up for this? They did, didn’t they?” He turned away, scoffing in disbelief, before he turned back around quickly. “How did you even find me? Did you follow me up here?”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest, rolling your eyes and barely holding in the scoff. You closed your eyes and rolled your head from one side of your shoulders to the other, feeling the tingling underneath your skin as you let parts of your body transform.

Yugyeom could feel his mouth drop open again and his eyes widened as two horns grew on your head and a line of scales appeared on your skin along your hairline. He gasped audibly the second you opened your eyes and to vertical slits stared right back at him. 

“I found you because of the stench of blood in what can be considered my front yard,” you hissed out. 

“Why did you help me?” Yugyeom stared at you in awe, his initial quest completely forgotten. “I don’t understand. You knew why I came to the mountains and you still helped me.”

“Because I’m not a monster unlike what your people love to call me.”

Yugyeom absentmindedly rubbed over the bandages on his upper body. “I can see that,” he mumbled, blinking several times as his thoughts raced through his head.

“So”- you walked over to your bed and sat down - “what are you going to do now, little human?” You got caught by surprise when he sat down next to you, hiding his face in his hands.

“I don’t know.” Yugyeom came into the mountains to slay the dragon that drove away the nearby villagers, but instead he got rescued and nurtured by said dragon. How could he possibly slay you now?

You shifted back into your human form completely. You sighed deeply before you got up and walked towards your kitchen. “Maybe we’ll find a solution that doesn’t involve bloodshed over some cookies and tea.”

“And some answers to my questions, please.” Yugyeom immediately followed you like a lost puppy, thanking you the second he got a cookie. “I think I’ll have some more time before anyone actually searches for me.”

“Because a quest to slay a dragon is quite time consuming,” you joked but nodded nonetheless. “Well, then let us have a heart to heart.” 

© all rights reserved

Taglist: @xavi-in-kpopland

[beautifulchris]

pink tulip

pairing: bang chan x gn!reader

wc: 3,4k

featuring: hwang hyunjin, lee felix, kim seungmin, yang jeongin, blackpink’s lisa, bts’ jeongguk, got7’s bambam and yugyeom, golden child's jangjun

summary: you’re always glued to your best friend chan, and your seventh year with him is no different

genres: hogwarts!au, best friends to lovers!au, gryffindor!chan, gryffindor!reader, fluff

warnings: kissing

notes: moodboard made by me, pictures found on the internet. reposting works from my old blog

order of writing: chan - jisung - minho - hyunjin - jeongin - seungmin - changbin - felix

networks: @kflixnet @k-labels @straykidsland

tag list: @badwithten @raethethey send ask/dm/comment to be added!

The weather was perfect on a sunday like this. Warm with a refreshing breeze. On the Quidditch pitch, a majority of Gryffindor were either on the field, a broom in hand or sitting between the stands.

You were set back from the group of people on the field, stretching to be in the best form possible.

Quidditch meant a lot to you, it had for five years now. Being in the Quidditch team for so long meant having friends and rivals but overall, you were very friendly so the rivalry turned into friendship over the years.

You were stretching your arms when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned around with your arm still spread and hit Jeongguk’s shoulder.

“Eh!”

Yugyeom was laughing and you joined him cheerfully. Jeongguk’s expression was too funny to be ignored.

“You scared me Gguk, it’s your fault. Hi Yugy.”

“Hi Y/N, how’s it going?”

“I’m ready to keep my place. Also congrats on you two for staying as beaters this year.”

“Thanks. We’ll try not to take you down too much.”

”You’ll wish you did,” you bragged.

They scoffed with smiles on their faces. “It’s almost time for tryouts, we’ll be on the stands cheering you on,” said Yugyeom gently.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t miss this for anything.”

“Just say you’re here to spy on us for Soyeon,” you accused, not being serious at all.

“Can’t we cheer on our friend without being attacked like this?” Yugyeom fake cried.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Thanks guys, your presence is really appreciated,” you smiled at them as they walked away, waving at you.

As the chaser, you were one of the best elements of the team. But really, you always thought the team was getting better and better over the years. Especially since Hyunjin joined.

Speaking of which, he only had time to come to you when Chan went straight to you both when he saw you on the field.

“Hey,” Chan greeted as he kissed your forehead and hugged Hyunjin.

Chan was your best friend. He always greeted you with a kiss on your forehead. It was his way of showing you affection. He was also a lot clingy, so he hugged his friends often, you included.

“Hey, do I really have to audition for the tryouts again?”

Chan was the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He was also the last —but not least— one to make the tryouts for the team of the year. Around thirty students —more people than the year before— came and he was divided between being happy so many people wanted to be part of the team and being anxious because he knew he inevitably had to say no to more of them.

“Are you scared better chasers will take your place, Hyunjin?” Chan asked, smirking.

“Definitely not, I’m determined to get in.”

“You’re right, you’re one of the best. If Chan doesn’t take you back, that would be the team’s loss. And you don’t want a weak team, am I right, Chan?” you asked, turning to Chan.

Hyunjin thanked you for your kind words and you winked at him while Chan waited for him to walk away before giving you an implied look. To which you replied with a raised eyebrow.

“What? Am I not right?”

“You are, he’s one of the best. But there’s a lot of people today, I ca—”

“So what?” you cut him off. “You know like me that none is better than him.”

“You seem to forget yourself.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

“You’re as good as he is, if not better. Give your best today, it would be a shame if I had to replace you,” he winked at you, put his broom between his legs and flew into the air without letting you reply.

He went in front of the mass of people who were waiting for the tryouts while you were left flustered by his wink. You quickly put yourself together (you’ll have plenty of time to rant after the tryouts), picked up your broom and went next to Hyunjin to listen to what the captain had to say.

“Thank you everyone for coming today. As you know, six people will be selected for this year. A seeker, two beaters and three chasers. Let’s begin with the chasers, shall we? Next will be the beaters then the seeker. Please, those who came for the other positions you can go to the stands for now.”

You prepared yourself and went in the air as easily as walking. Flying on a broom was so satisfying, you really loved it and were almost more comfortable in the air than on the ground.

Chan positioned himself in front of the hooped goal posts and Bambam, the freshly new Gryffindor Head Boy, who you didn’t see coming, threw the quaffle into the air. The tryouts had officially started and you were ready to show your skills.

About thirty minutes later, the verdict was final. Everyone returned to the ground and gathered around Chan.

“I want you all to know that if you’re not taken this year, don’t lose hope. Your time will come. I mean, it's my last year,” he laughed. “Alright, let me introduce the new chasers for this year: Y/N Y/L/N, Lisa Manoban and Hyunjin Hwang. Congratulations to you three.”

Everyone clapped their hands. Chan’s eyes met yours and your smile lighted up his face, making him smile brightly, showing his cute dimples. You then found Lisa and Hyunjin and hugged them tight.

“I’m so happy. We’re like the holy trinity,” beamed Lisa into your ear.

“It’s true, we’re a killing team,” added Hyunjin.

You closed your eyes and enjoyed the moment of joy you were sharing with your friends while the field was slowly emptying, leaving the chasers and the keeper.

“Guys, the beaters are coming. Ready to go there again?”

“Way to kill the mood, Chan,” whined Lisa but you went back into the air like you belonged there.

The beaters were chosen after forty minutes into the game. It wasn’t without complaints but Mingyu Kim and Chaeyoung Son were the best. They deserved it, since they almost killed you —twice.

For the seeker, you all had to play again, but somehow you never got tired of it. You were amazed by the time Mark Lee needed to catch the snitch. Eight minutes. He was the fastest boy you ever saw.

When he returned to the ground where everyone was waiting for him, you realized his broom was the fastest of the current year.

Of course, you thought, it helps.

But he truly was the best, the broom couldn’t create talent. You were sure to win all the games with him.

The tryouts finished, you directly went to take a shower and relax in the Gryffindor common room. Your transfiguration homework could wait an hour or two.

Chan sat next to you on the comfortable couch.

“You were amazing today. I couldn’t stop any quaffle you threw.” He was truly impressed by you. Ordinarily, he could stop two or three, but today, you were at your best form.

“Thank you. I practiced during summer with my dad,” you explained. “But are you sure it’s me getting better or you getting sloppy?”

He looked at you in disbelief and it made you giggle. His features softened at the view, he undeniably had a soft spot for you.

If only you could see it, he often thought.

“Hey, you want to spend the day with me next weekend?” offered Chan.

“Sure, what do you want to do?”

“We could revise for the N.E.W.T. at the Three Broomsticks?”

“Like a study date?”

“A—a date?” he choked a bit.

“Yeah, it’s not what you were asking?”

“Oh yes, yes it was.”

Chan felt awkward and stupid for stuttering like that. He wanted to show more assurance but you were making his heart beat so fast he couldn’t help it.

He was saved by the gong. Or more precisely, Jeongin, who needed help for the Lapifors spell. You greeted the younger and they left you.

You had your eyes closed and didn’t open them when you felt someone sitting next to you again.

“When are you going to confess?”

Your eyes opened wide and you looked at the boy.

“What are you even doing here, Seungmin?”

“I came here right after the tryouts to congratulate you and Hyunjin. So congrats. And don’t change the subject,” he grinned.

You sighed, staring at the portrait of the lion above the fireplace.

“Thanks. We have a study date next week,” you simply replied.

“A WHAT? You’re growing up so fast,” he said in an emotional voice, wiping off a non-existent tear from his eye.

“You’re younger than me, silly,” you laughed at his reaction.

“True but still, it’s been years Y/N. It was about time you did something.”

You completely ignored what he just said. “I think he flirted with me before the tryouts. I’m not sure though.”

“…What did he say?”

“He complimented me on my skills and winked at me. I was so flustered, Seungmin, I swear he’s so likable.”

“Whipped.” He giggled shamelessly at your pout.

“What is?” you heard Chan ask from behind you.

From the corner of your eye, you glared at Seungmin for a second, a scared expression on your face, before turning around with an awkward smile.

“Nothing, we were just gossiping,” explained your Ravenclaw friend, saving you from embarrassing yourself.

“Okay, I feel like you’re hiding something from me but I’ll let it pass for now.”

“Thank you,” you breathed then got up. “I have transfiguration homework to do, bye guys.” You literally ran to your room without looking back to avoid any further questions.

“Is everything okay?” you heard Chan ask but didn’t stay to listen to the rest.

“Yeah, so when are you going to confess?”

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

The whole week you were thinking about the study date and when it was time to go, you were a bit nervous, but excited.

When you entered the Three Broomsticks, your eyes wandered around looking for your best friend. You found him upstairs in a corner, two mugs of butterbeer in front of him. His dimples showed when he smiled at you and your heart melted. It was one of the things that made you really happy.  You joined him and started working.

“I spent a really good time with you today. Thank you for helping me with this particularly hard silencing charm. And sorry for practicing on you.”

“It was with pleasure, Y/N. Thank you for your help on my transfiguration homework. I couldn’t see the end of the parchment last night.”

“You want to do this again?”

“I would love to.”

“What about the same day, same time, same table if not already taken?”

“Okay,” he agreed, finishing his butterbeer. His heart was fluttering, he won more alone time with you, like you weren’t already inseparable.

On a table, not far, Felix and Seungmin were talking about the two lovebirds.

“How many months before one of them confesses?”

“It’ll be done by the Christmas holidays. I hope,” Seungmin sighed, sipping his mug of butterbeer.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

And so, every saturday you practiced Quidditch and every sunday you studied at the Three Broomsticks. It was your routine for a few weeks, until the first match opposing Gryffindor to Slytherin, the second weekend of november.

The whole school was present for it, especially your friends in the front row, hyping the hell out of both teams. Jangjun and Felix were the commentators and you were expecting funny comments from them.

Everyone was in good condition and was excited for their first match of the season. The Slytherin team was constituted of the best Slytherin players and Soyeon was a good captain. You weren’t very close but she had helped you before for your Wiggenweld potion the year before, which made you earn an O, so you were grateful.

The teams greeted each other and you talked a bit with Yugyeom, Jeongguk and Changbin. The latter was one of your closest friends so even if you were currently rivals, you gave him a warm hug and wished him good luck.

“Alright, is everybody ready?” asked the referee.

A whole cheer answered back and all the players went into the air. You flew above the referee to be the first to catch the quaffle.

“One, two… THREE. LET’S START,” she shouted before releasing the bludgers and the snitch then throwing the quaffle into the air.

“From the outset, Y/N is taking the quaffle and is going for that goal,” Jangjun commented into the mic.

“They’re flying majestically,” added Felix.

“Mister Lee, please,” scolded the professor next to him.

He apologized and continued, “Y/N gives the quaffle to Lisa, who’s making a sloth grip roll to avoid a bludger sent by Yugyeom!”

“She’s giving the quaffle to Hyunjin and he’s close to the goal. He’s about to strike, San is getting ready and- HE SCORES!”

“Ten-Zero for Gryffindor!” shouted Jangjun excitedly.

About three hours after the beginning of the match, no injuries were to be deplored. Mark was about to catch the snitch but Jeongguk blocked him and Changbin caught it right after. Even with their final effort, Gryffindor won the game. The final score was very close: 240-230.

The team was celebrating with a few friends at the Three Broomsticks after a well-deserved long and hot shower. There were a total of eighteen people gathered around two tables. Engorgement charm had been used on the mugs of butterbeer, unbeknownst of Madam Rosmerta —and she better not know for all of your sakes.

A few hours after the little party, where you all had a very good time, exchanging anecdotes about everyone’s school experience, you went back to school.

On the way, Chan and you were glued to each other like always. Everyone could see the love you had for each other but you.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

Two weeks after the second Quidditch match opposing Hufflepuff to Ravenclaw, Seungmin, Hyunjin, Felix and Jeongin gathered in the Room of Requirement to talk about you and Chan while you were both studying at the Three Broomsticks like every sunday.

“We really have to do something to help them. I refuse to see them spend the Yule ball with anyone else,” said Seungmin in a serious tone.

“Or worse: alone,” added Jeongin.

“They’re never going to confess on their own, they’re too afraid to lose each other,” sighed Hyunjin.

“We can help them with that, right?” asked Felix.

“Right. I have an unerring plan,” smirked Seungmin.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

And so the next friday, as you were walking to your next class, a note flew out of nowhere on your charms book saying “meet me in the room of requirement at 7 tonight. chan xx”.

You stared at the note for a whole minute. Lisa had to pull you by the arm to avoid a collision with a running group of first years.

“What’s happening?” inquired Lisa with a raised eyebrow.

“Uh, nothing, I’m seeing Chan tonight.”

“You see Chan everyday. Why are you blushing so hard? Did he ask you out?” She jumped around you excitedly.

Instead of answering her, because you didn’t know exactly what he wanted to tell you, you showed her the note.

“Oh my, this is so cool. If you need help with anything, let me know before it’s too late.” She fled away and you followed her.

“Wait, what is that supposed to mean?”

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

Meanwhile, Chan was seated on a low wall with Bambam when the note deposited itself on his hand while he was talking. He stopped himself to read “meet me in the room of requirement at 7 tonight. y/n xx”.

Bambam read it over his shoulder and nudged his friend.

“Tell me you’re going to go.”

“Did I ever ditch on my best friend?”

“Best friend,” he repeated mockingly, “you better dress well for the occasion.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dude, you’re unbelievable,” Bambam face palmed.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

Jeongin was hiding near the door and no one could see him. He was there to make sure you and Chan would enter while everything your friends worked hard for was still present.

Chan was the first to enter the Room of Requirement. He was surprised and amazed by the sight. Birds were flying, candles and flowers were levitating and a table at the center of the room was filled with yours and Chan’s favorite food.

Soon after, you entered the room, looking outside as you closed the door.

“Hey Chan— wow.”

You took the sight in as well. A particular light made your face shine and Chan could swear he fell in love with you once again. Your eyes laid on him and you smiled.

“What did you want to talk about?” you asked, gulping loudly.

“I received a note from you, don’t you have something to say to me?” he raised an eyebrow.

“I received a note from you too, though.”

You watched his reaction, being yourself confused. His smile faded a bit and you worried.

“I see there’s our favorite food, want to eat? I’m starving,” you proposed.

“Sure.”

He sat in front of you but didn’t lay his eyes on the food since you entered. That was the moment Jeongin chose to discreetly leave to join his friends in the Great Hall.

“So, if you didn’t send that note and I didn’t either, who do you think made all of this?” you asked.

“Probably Seungmin. I think the flowers come from him.”

“I agree. I recognize ambrosia, linaria bipartita, red rose and red, pink, orange tulip,” you enumerated, looking around.

“It’s crazy how you can recognize so many flowers.” Once again, he was impressed by you.

“I simply love Herbology. Felix surely helped by asking the elves to cook all this delicious food.”

“I think he and Hyunjin used the levitation charm and the avifors spell.”

“And someone had to stay here until one of us got in. I bet they made Jeongin do it.”

“They did so much, it’s really cool. Hey, look at the birds!” you exclaimed.

They were forming a big heart while flying. How romantic! It suddenly made you realize the meaning behind the flowers and you looked down at Chan. He looked at you at the same time and you stared at each other for a rather long time. You began to speak at the same time as well. Damn synchronization. 

“Chan—”

“Y/N—”

“You first.”

“No, you.”

“Okay, I know the meaning behind the flowers.”

“Oh?” he seemed interested to have your insight on them. Truthfully, he was interested in anything you had to say.

“So,” you took a deep breath, “pink tulips mean caring, good wishes, friendship, joyful occasions and confidence. The orange one means understanding, appreciation and truest love. After that, it’s…”

“It’s what?”

“Ahem. Linaria bipartita means… please notice my feelings for you.”

Chan widened his eyes. Was it going to happen through flowers symbolism?

“Red tulip means undying love, passion and perfect love and ambrosia means reciprocated love.”

“Looks like Seungmin knows us too much. I love you.”

“I love you too, Chan.”

“You have no idea how happy I am right now, hearing you say that.” If his red ears and dimpled smile were any indication.

“I love you, I love you, I love you so much Chan, I’ve loved you for so long now,” you chanted, taking his hands in yours over the table.

“Me too. Would you want to go to the Yule Ball with me?”

“Of course I would!”

You both got up at the same time and you hugged tightly. Oh how happy you were at this moment, in your lover’s arms with birds chanting your names… Wait.

“Do you hear what I hear?”

“Yes…”

You looked at the birds. It wasn’t unpleasant to hear. Felix and Jeongin must have taken a lot of their time to teach them so much.

The elves worked hard to make the food and it would be a shame to leave it there. You had a wonderful date that night.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

The night of the Yule Ball, after dancing for two whole hours non-stop with your friends, you went outside to breathe. Chan followed you and put his hand on your waist.

“You look stunning,” he said into your ear.

You turned to him and kissed his lips.

“So are you.”

thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, please let me know <3 and here's the masterlist!

[nirvanawrites111]

Masterlist

Hiii I'm a neurospicy heaux (90's baby) who enjoys writing K-pop fanfics.

You can call me Nirvana.

My pronouns are she/her.

I write mostly sub!Idol x dom!readers but I will be starting a new series where my one-shots are two parts radiating switch!energy.

My stories are all written with a black reader in mind.

All of my stories belong to me and you may not copy any of them. Nor, can you translate them into other languages. Thanks!!!

If you enjoy my work please comment and reblog, please. It keeps me going.

KIM YUGYEOM

Focus On Me

Choi Minho

DILF Energy (Sub!Minho x Reader)

Lee Know

Claim Me (Sub!Lee Know x Reader)

Kim Jongin/Kai

Say You Love Me (Sub!Kai x Reader)

Say You Love Me Pt. 2

Goddess Energy (Taemin x Reader x Jongin) Part 1

Hongjoong

May I Have Your Attention Series

May I Have Your Attention Please? (Sub!Hongjoong x Reader)

May I Have Your Attention Please? Pt. 2

May I Have Your Attention Please? Pt. 3

May I Have Your Attention Please? Pt. 4

Here We Go Again Bangchan x Reader x Hongjoong (Kinktober 2022 Vampire AU)

Lust Galore (Seonghwa x Reader x Hongjoong)

Sub!Hongjoong x Switch!Reader x Dom!Changbin

Taemin

Falling For The Dark Lord (Sub!Taemin x Afab!Reader)

Wedding Secrets (Sub!Taemin x Reader)

Escape With You (Sub!Taemin x Reader)

Chase Me Sub!Taemin x Reader (Kinktober 2022)

Escape With You Pt. 2

Arch That Back, Baby (Sub!Taemin x Reader)

Play Things (Taemin x Reader x Jimin)

Supreme King (Taemin x Black Reader)

Goddess Energy (Taemin x Reader x Jongin) Part 1

Seonghwa

Bend It Ova Sub!Seonghwa x Reader

Only One (Seonghwa x Black Reader)

Enemy Situation (Seonghwa x Black Reader)

Lust Galore (Seonghwa x Reader x Hongjoong)

Ten Lee

Amnesia (Sub!Ten Lee x Reader)

Changbin

Boyfriend #2 Changbin x Reader

I'm Calling You Daddy (Sub!Changbin x Reader)

Switch It Up (Sub!Changbin x Reader)

Switch It Up Part 2

Sub!Hongjoong x Switch!Reader x Dom!Changbin

Juyeon

Juicy Lover Series (Sub!Juyeon x Reader)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Wooyoung

My Right Hand Man Series (Sub!Wooyoung x Reader)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Welcome To The Agency (San x Reader x Wooyoung)

Bangchan

Here We Go Again Bangchan x Reader x Hongjoong (Kinktober 2022 Vampire AU)

Yunho

February Filth Fest (Hate sex with Yunho)

San

Welcome To The Agency (San x Reader x Wooyoung)

Park Jinyoung

Degrade Me Part 1

Degrade Me Part 2

Jimin

Play Things (Taemin x Reader x Jimin)

[onewmin]

the perfume on the shelf. pt. 7 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, angst, profanity, everyone cries, mentions of sex, mommy and daddy issues (the reader has both), the mcs don’t hear each other and are unable of normal communication, both Chan and the reader are mentally unstable and have major trust issues, typos, a slight Taylor Swift reference (yes, again). Mind you, these two are grown adults, who are unwilling to find a compromise and communicate, putting the blame onto each other. No one is right and no one is wrong (kind of). What I wanted to say is that this is a description of an unhealthy relationship and it’s bad for both of them (but more for the reader) ok tnx for coming to my ted talk

Author’s note: this is the shortest part so far, cause I felt like this chapter should only revolve around the main conflict. This is a breaking point for both of the characters, so tell me what you think of it so far!!

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 6 | Part 8

“What? Why would you say that?”

With your back facing him, you swore you could see the atrociously saddening expression he wore on his face. That was heartbreaking, wasn’t it? Harsh words barked at him so abruptly he couldn’t even fathom them, unexpected, right, Chan? It’s not like he had done something similar, yeah?

“You fucked it up, that’s why”, ouch.

To Chris, it seemed as if he was seeing a completely different person, not you, not the you he was so used to. The caring you, the you that was smiling and asking him about his day, the girl that would hold him tight whenever he felt bad. He’d never heard you say things like that, things that would actually hurt him. But wasn’t he the first to shove his thunderous inability to demonstrate human emotions down your throat?

“I know”. His wobbly voice made your turn around to face him yet again. Glistening cheeks, arms crossed at his chest, wrapped in an unsuccessful attempt to hug himself. You hated seeing him like that, knowing you were the reason he was audibly sobbing. “I know I fucked up”, Chris muttered through his cries, “I know I did. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I don’t-”, he took a breath only to let out a heavy sign, resulting in another weep.

He stood there, right in front of you, silently begging to take a step further. And his figure, once of a confident man and now so small, shoulders shaking while he was wiping the running tears. His collarbone glistened too; and you could only hold back the upcoming tears, nails digging in the palms of your hands. You’d rather bleed than show him it affected you as well as it did him. But you’d rather die than admit it.

You slightly moved — automatically almost, the urge to pull him in and never let go clouding your head for a moment. You’d cry together, and then the two of you would reconcile. That’s what you wanted, right?

You stopped amid your movements, hand still reaching out to him. You wanted him for so long and when you finally had the chance to be together, he washed it down the drain.

“Why did you tell me all that, then? If you’re so sorry”.

His eyes darted to your face; you had to bite the insides of your cheeks to alleviate the lump in your throat. Chan looked defeated — eyes puffy, blood vessels in his eyes had burst making even the apples of them red; and his whole face, you saw, you fucking saw it, slightly lit up when he looked at you. Unbelievable, the thought ran through your head, how could I make Chan cry? Am I the heartless piece of shit in this scenario?

“I thought”, he stammered, “I thought it’d, uh… It’d be better for both of us”. You scanned him as if he were a criminal you were interrogating. “I’m a mess, every, uh, every girl I’m with… I always lose interest when they… When they fall in love with me, and I didn’t…” He stopped to take a breath. “I didn’t want the same… The same happening to you”.

His last words came out as a whisper, but you heard him. Loud and clear.

“I lo-“ He gulped. “I value our relationship too much to… To let it go too far and then, uh”, Chan rubbed his eyes nervously; every word seemed to come out with a lot of force. “I didn’t want our relationship to get too far and then dump you, ‘cause I fell out of love. I just didn’t want that”.

Now you were gawking at him. The tears you were suppressing so much appeared to cautiously creep up your eyes, breaking every barrier in their way. However… You couldn’t allow yourself to give in the most desirable emotions at the moment for one specific reason. And that reason was,

“What the fuck did you just say?” You almost barked.

The tone of his voice turned calmer for some reason, “I didn’t want to break your heart if it went too far”.

“That’s exactly what you fucking did!” You bawled, tears spilling from your eyes. “It went too far, are you kidding me with that “if” shit? Or”, you kept on spouting, “is having sex with your best friend a ‘norm’ to you? A daily routine?”

Chan took a step further, but you put a hand in front of you, signaling him not to even try. “I get it. Just calm down for a sec”.

Yeah, you knew you were being too loud for 2 o’clock in the morning or whatever the time was. You knew, but you didn’t care. His neighbors might as well call the police, you really couldn’t care less. You couldn’t hold back the wrath growing inside of you; it was unbearable to eat his words up and keep on going. It wasn’t possible anymore.

“Don’t fucking calm me down!” Blaring, you looked at him in awe. “What do you get? That you let this come too far, and then what? Bolted, ‘cause you’re incapable of being a decent human being?”

Chan sighed. “I didn’t bolt. I wanted to, uh… Minimize the damage. To make it less painful. I didn’t want to hurt you, ever”.

“But you fucking did!”

“Baby-“

“Don’t call me ‘baby’!” You raged. “Look at what you’ve made out of me, Chan! You hurt me, you caused me so much pain that I don’t think it can be fixed!”

Before that, before another set of his absolutely moronic confessions, Chan looked defeated because you were leaving him with no reasoning. Now he looked defeated as you spat all of the suppressed, unsaid emotions at him. He deserved to know. Bang Chan wasn’t the only person who could be brutally honest while loving the other. Allegedly loving, in his case, you thought.

“Every moment”, you wept, “every time you’d leave me, I’d cry myself to sleep ‘cause I knew you’d never, ever love me back. But then”, you chuckled, “I find out you actually have been in love with me this whole time, and the next thing you do? Throw me away”. You put the hands on the hips, head thrown back to prevent more tears from falling.

“I didn’t need your confession, I didn’t need nothing”, you resumed. “I just wanted, ugh… I just wanted, I thought my best friend would at least talk to me instead of crushing my heart”, and self-esteem. That one was wreaked as well.

“Oh, not you bringing up the ‘talk’ thing”. Did you mishear it, or was the tone of his voice quipped?

“What?” You panted.

“You, asking me to talk?” He let out a breathy chuckle. “Yeah, right. Like you’re the one to share your feelings when the time’s given”. His rant implied, no, it directly stated something. You knew what it was, but as soon as the words left his mouth, you desperately needed to hear them. As if… As if you craved a real reason to leave him. Something that would hurt you even more than his previous actions. And, goddamn, you anticipated what he had to say.

“You said it yourself, didn’t ya?” Chan leaned on the doorframe; as if he needed physical support for the next poisonous words he was going to spit. “You’re unable to express your emotions because it scares you. And you’re the one asking me to talk? Huh”, he huffed. You stood there, hands squeezed in fists, the pain of your long nails digging into the softness of your palms almost unnoticeable now.

“You told me, I remember that”, he kept on, as if he hadn’t said enough already. “You told me your worst fear was to be like your dad. But you know”, Chan moved further, the space between you only a few inches now, “you’re as emotionless as he is. Or at least, as emotionless as you painted him to me”.

The cocky look on his face, almost as he was enjoying the pain he had caused you. Your father might have been an insensitive bastard but you were not like him. Chan wasn’t wrong while saying it was hard for you to express emotions, but god, you did! You cried, you apologized, you complimented, you praised, you comforted. You were there for everyone with a mug of tea, warm hugs and cozy silence. Sure, it might seem like you were callous ‘cause you didn’t say many soothing words, and yeah, it was hard for you to express your feelings and show vulnerability, but never in a million years have you neglected any of your friends needs. Chan included, Chan, actually, atop of the list, always.

“Say something else if you’re trying to hurt me”, you blurted out even before thinking, “I’ve come to this conclusion on my own. Sorry I’m not the perfect girl straight out of your wet dreams”.

Chan let out a sigh of exasperation, hands on his hips. “You’re right, I’ve seen you…differently in my head. Guess I’ve been projecting this whole time”.

“You’re not the only one”. You took the backpack, which was now on the floor next to you, in your hands. “Could never imagine the guy I’d thought to be the best one”, you put the backpack on your shoulders, “could never imagine he’d compare me to his ex all the time”.

“And when’s that happened?” The irritated sound of his voice and the eye roll had awoken some primal desire to punch him in the face right then and there, but you kept on standing, almost froze in your place.

“Let me enlighten you”, you answered, “that when you say ‘My ex-girlfriend was so good at swimming’ to your current girlfriend, when she can’t swim, is not the greatest thing to say”.

“You were not my girlfriend”.

That’s not something you didn’t know; that’s what you’d settle in your head, clear enough to have it understood. But you never heard it from Chan. And having the words flown out of his mouth, so effortlessly and carelessly, got you physically restraining yourself from grabbing your chest, right where the heart was. ‘Cause there was a spike of pain that shot into your heart and chest, and it immediately faded into a throbbing ache, your heartbeat pulsating in your brain.

“And don’t get me started on exes”. He continued. “I’m not the one to pine over a boyfriend I broke up with years ago”.

“I-I d-don’t-“

“Yes, you do!” You flinched at the sudden raise of his voice. “You’re still wearing the fucking necklace he’s given you! Even now!” Chan took a deep breath. “You don’t wear the ring I gave you, you don’t treasure it as much as you do this, as much as you have this stupid necklace glued to your skin”.

A moment of silence between the two of you. You observed him, not recognizing the man at all. Some minutes ago you were in his bed, “I love you” whispered to you as he desperately wanted to show you it was true. But now… Seemed as if all he was trying to do was to push you even further away.

The realization dawned upon you like a heatwave. It was him, not you. He was so incapable of recognizing his own feelings that now you were the bad guy, the villain in his story. Oh god, you hoped you were. Otherwise, it’d turn out that the both of your were wrong, that both of you were the cowards who couldn’t admit their feelings and faults.

No, you could admit (some of) yours, though. You did wear the necklace with Yugyeom’s initials, however, not because you were waiting to get back with him, but for the same reason you wore the old rings of your mom’s: you liked the jewelry. There wasn’t much you could wear, as you preferred wearing the same things for years when it concerned jewelry. Goddamn it, you wore the earrings your school friend had given you on your seventeenth birthday just ‘cause they didn’t make your ears itch! It’s not like you were wearing them with a hope to reconcile a long-forgotten friendship, for god’s sake! And the ring Chan gave you? It was completely out of your personal style, not fitting any of your fingers, but what, you were supposed to tell him you didn’t like the gift he’d given? Were you supposed to throw the ring at him, saying it didn’t fit your ‘aesthetics’? For god’s sake, some men and their logic. Unbearable.

However, you weren’t willing to explain all that. Chan had already projected a possible outcome of this situation, and your interference wasn’t even necessary. No matter what you said or did, he’d find a way to blame everything on you.

“I think I got it”, you mumbled. Turning to the door to leave him for good this time, you couldn’t but point out the last thing. “D’you know what the worst part of all this?” His face didn’t give away any emotions except for extreme annoyance and anger. “I still love you, Chan. No matter what you say, I’ll still love you. ‘Cause you’re my best friend, and you always will be”.

The way you slammed the door might have demonstrated your level of rage, but you sprinted down the stairs, ignoring the elevator. Stopping at the stairwell between the fourth and third floor, just amid your way down, you gripped the railings while quietly sobbing with your eyes squeeze shut. Your phone vibrated shortly, announcing the Uber had already come, and at that same moment, you heard the loud noise up the stairs. He called out your name, simultaneously running down. Oh shit, oh no, no. You knew you’d yield to him the moment he begs for forgiveness, and you couldn’t, just couldn’t let yourself fall into that pit again. Nothing good would come out of it; so you didn’t need another second to stand and think as you scurried down the stairs, into the street, almost flying into the car. The driver seemed to read your energy; after checking your destination point, he quickly drove away.

Through the car window, as you were literally drifting away, you saw Chan run out, panting, watching the car leaving his apartment complex parking lot. You’d think about it being a scene straight out of a rom-com later. You’d overanalyze it with your therapist later. You’d cry at home in several minutes. It all would be later.

Now you stared at the early sunset through the window, as the driver steadily drove through the city. Your apartment complex was pretty far away from the central area near which Chris was living, so it took around thirty to forty minutes to get back home at night. Good. You’d watch the buildings, the trees, the parks, the rare people on the street. You’d listen to the soothing music the driver had put on and melt into it, ‘cause that music was better than Chan’s loud banging in your head.

Love is a losing game, your mother once told you. You weren’t sure if she was talking about your father or some other guy she’d lost in her younger years, but you’d listen to this advice now. You wish you could just ask the driver to change the destination, to get you to your parents’ house, so that your mom could comfort you while you’d be crying in her tight embrace. But that was Eunjoo’s mother, not yours; yours would scold you for coming that late, she would spat ‘I told you so’s’ at you, cursing you for ‘peddling’ yourself for sex, as she liked to state. She’d blame everything on you, berating you for crying, saying, “The damage’s done already, why are you crying now?” Shit, you wish your mom would let you sob in her arms and tell you she’s there with you. Holy shit, that’s the only thing you craved right now — just to be comforted by, what’s supposed to be, your closest person in the entire world.

But you were being driven home. To home where the only one to comfort you, besides your sweet cat, would be yourself. Maybe you should really call Eunjoo tomorrow. That’s too much to handle on your own; you couldn’t bear the thought of going through this alone. You needed someone to confide in, someone who wouldn’t put every action of yours under scrutiny, like your mother would.

So you texted Eunjoo, simultaneously setting the alarm to 7 A.M. You’d have around three hours to sleep, but maybe you’d nap tomorrow — it was Saturday after all.

Later. All of that later. Now it was just you and the view outside the car. You and the jungle of thoughts in your never resting mind.

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