#youve gotta be fucking kidding me man.

[lonniemachin]

“leftist” establishments when they let you put up posters to organize but don’t let you buy unhoused people food from them

[sunnnfish]

anyone else feel the need to blow themwelves up badly. ha ha ga ha ha ab aba ga hahga ga ha ha ha

[norrizzandpia]

okay so you know how oscar sleeps like anywhere, can we have some thing about how they claim they are friends but theres all these photos that lando has (or anyone really) of them two sleeping in the most random places and lando posts them as a joke (sorry if it doesnt make sense!!)

This request is 💋

Sleeping Buddies or Dating? (OP81)

Summary: Oscar and Y/n love to sleep next to each other. They don’t love each other. That’s it.

Warnings: Lando and the other drivers being menaces, language

y/nnn this is payback for making me think you have pics of me and oscar asleep together

Comments:

landonorris I LITERALLY DO???? YOUVE STARTED A WAR

- oscarpiastri lando….

- Mclarensgirly LEAK THEM LANDO

- ln4op81 plz. my bday is in a few days. that would be the best bday present.

- landonorris happy bday then

landonorris ALSO I LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD IN THIS IDK WHAT TF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING

- y/nnn you actually don’t stop being delulu

- oscarpiastri YOURE SPURRING HIM ON

—

landonorris this is for not shutting up 🫶🏻

Comments:

oscarpiastri THIS MANY????? EXIST??????

- landonorris yes.

- danielricciardo yes.

- logansargeant yes.

- alexalbon yes.

- charlesleclerc yes.

- y/nnn oh!

y/nnn were you silent or silenced?

ln4andop81 YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME. AND THEY ARE STILL NOT TOGETHER??????

- mclarensgirly in my heart they are 😥

F1gossip they have to be dating no way you fall asleep like that in the second pic and are just friends

- f1fan2023 idk man they’ve done some questionable things in the past and stayed friends

- papayafan481 TRUEEEE like that one time Oscar said in an interview he spends nights at y/n’s all the time and they “get up to some fun” BROS GOTTA KNOWN WHAT THAT MEANS

- mclarennnnn ALSO when he won his first podium and ran up to her and KISSED HER CHEEK???? THATS THE BIGGEST MYSTERY OF F1 BC HE WAS SO CLOSE TO HER FUCKING LIPS. YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME HE DIDNT KISS THE SIDE OF HER MOUTH AND REALIZED HE WAS ON LIVE TV SO GASLIT EVERYONE INTO THINKING HE KISSED HER CHEEK. HE KISSED HER. HE DID.

- f1fan2023 that moment is fs my roman empire. i think abt the logistics of that moment every day

—

logansargeant thought I’d hop on the train ;)

Comments:

y/nnn BRO I DIDNT DO SHIT TO YOU

- logansargeant i am SICK AND TIRED of hiding

- mclarensgirly sorry… HIDING WHAT????

- mclarennnnn HE KISSED HER ON LIVE TV.

oscarpiastri you got the audacity from where?

- logansargeant you.

- f1fan81 BYEEEEEE

- mclarensgirly LIGHT HIM UP AMERICAN BOY

- ln4andop81 WTF IS A KILOMETERRRRR??????

mclaren are we sensing a soft launch?

- oscarpiastri ADMIN.

- y/nnn UHHHHHHHHHHHHH

- mclarensgirly WHAT.

- ln4andop81 MY MANIFESTATIONS ARE COMING TRUE OMFG

- f1fan2023 i can die happy now (i am going to live out the rest of my days living for their relationship)

- landonorris oh shit.

—

oscarpiastri yes, i did kiss her on live tv and tried to gaslight everyone into thinking i kissed her cheek (it worked on all you bitches don’t lie)

Comments:

F1fan2023 WE WON YALL

mclarennnnn I WAS FUCKING RIGHT THIS WHOLE TIME I WAS FUCKING RIGHT HOLY SHIT

- oscarpiastri your comments were concerning me ngl

- y/nnn yea he thought you were going to expose us

landonorris this hard launch took way too fucking long omg

- y/nnn shut tf up bitch

mclaren we can die happily now 🥹

- mclarensgirly mclarens just like us fr

- oscarpiastri y/n and i no longer wish you death after you outed us

- mclaren NO LONGER?????? YOU DID AT ONE POINT???????

- y/nnn shhh, admin. “no longer”, that’s what you need to pay attention to

—

y/nnn he’s mine now bitches 👹

Comments:

oscarpiastri idk what your obsession is with these two pics

- y/nnn YOURE FUCKING HOT LEAVE ME ALONE

landonorris happy for you ig

- y/nnn I know the heartbreak must be painful

mclaren we would like to take the credit for dressing Oscar in the second pic

- y/nnn you deserve the world for putting him in that jacket.

mclarensgirly im rlly kicking and screaming tho

F1fan2023 i know i said i would die happy bc of this news but suddenly i hate the fact this man is off the market

- landonorris well that sucks bc pastry is sickeningly in love

[popcornforone]

Sweet Like Chocolate

A Lucien Flores Fic

Day 29 of Pedrotober (The Uninvited Prompt)

Masterlist

Rumour has it Lucien we might get to meet soon, I can’t wait. This jammies look… oooh I’ve been sold since that moment. So I wanted to go all soft for this man, because I think I will fall for him hard when I meet him on whatever screen it is.

Synopsis:- You are about to close up the cafe when a last minute customer arrives.

Word Count:- 850

Warnings over & above:- swearing, pain from not paying attention, just nice & soft & fluffy, age gap. This has been written as gender neutral as the reader.

Thanks for the read peoples. This journey really has been something. Thanks to @alyssamariag & @norththelemon for the prompts.

9pm is approaching. Closing time. Finally, you mumble to yourself. You work at a cafe at the back of a petrol station & tonight as deputy manager you are incharge of cleaning & closing & locking up. You’ve cleaned as many tables as possible, no one has been in for an hour & you are busy sorting out all of the syrups & cups when the door opens. You moan a bit too loud, the customer can probably hear you. You sigh & turn around & put in your best happy voice.

“Good evening what can I get you…” you stop. Your mouth is dry. Standing in front of you is not just a customer, but a man. In a floral silk top, with fluffy brown hair. Tailored trousers that cling to all the right places, brown loafers & eyes that entrance anyone. As a college kid you shouldn’t be fantasising in those 5 seconds exactly what this man would do to you but you do. It’s lust at first sight as you try to avert your gaze.

“Erm a hot chocolate with extra cream please to go” he says looking at his phone & then he looks up at you a good few seconds later & you haven’t moved. “Hello…” you jolt back to life. Still trapped under the charms of his good looking spell.

“Sorry sir” you panic “can you repeat that” you’re not being calm.

“A hot chocolate to go, extra cream” he winks. He can see he is having an effect on you. He does a little chuckle & runs his hand through that fluffy hair. You scramble, extremely flustered & aroused & grab the nearest takeaway cup.

“Name?” You manage to splutter out very high pitched.

“There’s no one else here” he says & you do a loud nervous laugh back.

“Sorry force of habit” & you get the milk carton out to start frothing it.

“Busy day?” He asks as he gets out his wallet.

“Mornings are worse on Sundays, everyone gets their car washed” you say frothing the milk.

“Hmmm but a dead quiet evening?”

“Yea, it gets a bit boring from 4pm to 9pm”

“That’s a long shift”

“Something’s gotta pay the rent”

“True” he says & you look up at him & smile, he’s giving back genuine small talk, often customers past 6pm don’t bother. It’s a nod, thanks & then leave without even faining interest at all. His own smile & dimple has you sighing. But you’re not paying attention. The hot milk froths over the top of the jug & drips onto your hand. Youve been doing this long enough to put the jug down & run to the sink in seconds without spilling anything else.

“Fuck” you shout as the cold water hits the already forming blisters. You then suddenly see a large hand grab a plug so the sink fill up with water.

“Keep it in there” he says as you hiss”it will feel better like this” he the caresses your other hand to try & calm you down a bit & it works. Such large hands doing such delicate things.

“Thanks but what about your coffee”

“Hot chocolate…” he says & you both laugh. “I’ll make it, I used to work in cafes it can’t have changed that much in 20 years.” You smile at him. “Just leave your hand in the sink for another 5mins then I’m sure you can point out your first aid box to me.”

The man is a complete gentleman. Making his own hot Chocolate. Strapping a blister plaster to your hand & even helping you tidy up the cafe. You can’t believe it, this man is too good to be true. Why can’t all 8:50pm customers be like this & be handsome.

“How much for the hot chocolate” he says as you turn off the last coffee machine.

“On the house”

“I can’t let you do that, won’t you get in trouble”

“Sir you helped me out when I…”

“You wouldn’t have burnt yourself if i hadn’t come in for a late night pick me up” he raises an eyebrow & hands you $20 “keep the change” he says.

“Thank you mr…”

“Lucien” he says with a smile. “Lucien Flores & I’ll be seeing you again soon, I’m certain of it” he then leans over the counter & captures your lips in a sensual kiss. You feel all jittery, the handsome stranger was either trying to make you feel better or he genuinely wanted the kiss. He is flush too when he breaks from the kiss & grabs what’s left of his hot chocolate & turns to leave. “See you around kid” he says.

You wait & watch him drive off in his McLaren before having a few palpitations as to what just happened holding that $20. You’d really had one hell of a night to end your shift. It’s only then that you realise something is inside your cash you were given. His business card with his phone number highlighted, with pink hearts around it.

“Call me”

[ratatatastic]

idk if it's obvious but in the forsy offseason training vid the reporter asks "how do your legs feel, you know, for a man who, well, some see as a greek god" and forsy is just hand on hip staring off fondly in the distance he knows damn well who some is like even at home he's never living that ekky thirst quote down linked together forever just how ekky drew it up

OH YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

MAN HAUNTED BY HIS PARTNERS HORNINESS EVEN IN SWEDEN IM GONNA CRY EKKY LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE THIS MAN IS GETTING HARASSED IN HIS OWN HOMETOWN OH MY GOD CAN HE NOT HAVE PEACE

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Theyre arguing now which is getting chewby worked up and hes completely oblivious to it until she inevitably barks cuz shes his dog so shes tuned into HIM more than me so he starts yelling at her which continues to work her up

I am holding 65 pounds of anxious pitbull in my lap cuz its the only thing calming her down

If she would follow me upstairs I would just get her to go up there with me

The juxtaposition of reading a dog training book and watching my dad do the exact opposite which is clearly not working is uhhh

[akaakeis]

gnawing at my nails rn i miss my bf (i dont have one) how do u pick like,,, one person to selfship with bc⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

like there r so many options ushijima i dont even know who's my favourite character rn ushijima like guys☹️⁉️⁉️

BUT I cant wait for savyaku😼😼😼😼😼 SOCUTE

goshiki is my babey though he is sososososososososo cute and i would want him irl and i bet i could even pull him irl toooo

yk what this type of starting is called! a HOOK sentence cuz u got HOOKED and now ur reading this long ass ask. WAIT FUCJ mattsun guys hear me out here ANYWAYS. HRU SAV!!!!!!!!!!!! its 4am for yew rn right!!

anyways.. its 4pm havent had lunch yet am so fucking tired but soft rice.. soft white rice.... i want to sleep but rice....... call me basic but soft white rice is the best fucking thing in the entire world right after u. teacher gave my english composition an 80 i think ill end up on the news. i just stood up abruptly and the world went 🌀🌀🌀🌀 should i be worried..!!!!

THERE WAS AN OWL ON OUR ROOF THE OTHER DAY SO COOL i almost started writing akaashi hurt comfort (???) at school today but i didnt get time and now im Too Tired :(

im reading and the mountains echoed by khaled hosseini and erm. the plot is so questionable at times like wdym the guy was in love with his chauffeur wdym she tried to kill her sister and changed her mind last second so it was only paralysis but its ok bc she killed her fr next time. wdym this one girl dated her moms ex and then married her friend's ex like guys.. guys i have Questions..

IDK IF U READ JJK MANGA BUT U SHOULD READ JJK MANGA

i cant wait for ur birthday #weirdkidthings Im So Funny Guys Im So Funny

im going to sleep so hard tonight grrgrgrhrgrg i had ice cream on the way home from school YUM and then math kid era p2 i finished this one thinf before everyone else even started and the teacher asked if i did it qt home cuz wtf. ew now i remember her using her nail to create indentations in the paper and i feel nauseous my skin is crawling

WHATEVER eRmmrmrm im sitting on the stairs rn hashtag procrastination ahahahahah ive been writing this and zoninf out for the past 7 minutes yyyyyippeeee

im so tired guys let me sleeeep

my parenrs were supposed to find baby gender today but the little shit kept its legs shut and didnt let them see (just like me frl)

correction im lying on the stairs rn ..

honestly me x goshiki would be Bomb why is he so unpopular all his fics are mid or questionable so far,,,, anyways. konoha is so beautiful i would want him excpet i have like no grip on his character so #tweaks. i hate andrew tate so fkn much. i cant wait till i turn 16 idk i feel like life will be significantly cooler then. anyways bb i take my leave gotta go eat lunch

i hope youve eaten by the time ur reading this!!! stay hydrated and safe and dm me to be silly together whenever >:]]]]] i hope u have a WONDERFUL day sav!! ily <3

look at my man hes so gorgeous btw

alina... bf... :D alright then! umumumummm honestly there were many characters that i wanted to do a selfship with but i didnt want to be self shipping with the same character that someone im following consistently self ships with LMAO cause i feel like it gets weird for me at that point cause all the hcs in my head get mixed up? ANYWAY i just think of selfships with any character im hyperfixating on at that very moment... in fact my selfship very well may change!!!

anyway since im replying after you decided on yuulina... NOYA AGHHH U GUYS WILL BE SO CUTE TOGETHER!!! IM UR NO 1 SUPPORTER THIS IS YUULINA SUPPORT CENTRAL‼️‼️‼️

savyaku sounds so funny i need to thank of something that sounds better stop rn 💔 BUT I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH IM SUPER EXCITED TO DO SOME SELFSHIP STUFF :))

u would so pull goshiki irl 🙂‍↕️

HELP thanks for the english lesson lina 😭 those terms always make me shudder because they were drilled into my head in my college comp class it was horrifying. and NO not mattsun i do NOT approve of that at this point in time!!!! AND IM OKAY!! tired as hell and i have 3 projects to work on <3 (i stacked my classes this year, im not proud.) IT IS NOW 3 PM AS I ANSWER THIS ASK SO SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE 12 HOURS WOAH

honestly u were probably tired because you didn't eat but i digress... AND SOFT WHITE RICE HAS MY HEART IT MAY BE AN ASIAN THING?? and awh stawp😋 ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE ENGLISH TEACHER THAT YOU CORRECTED IN CLASS? THE ONE THAT CANT SPEAK AS WELL AS YOU?? insanity 😨 i may end up on the news as well. AND YOURE PROBABLY HUNGRY AND DEHYDRATED GO EAT AND DRINK WATER IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY WHAT??? PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!

WHAT AN OWL ON THE ROOF THATS SUPER COOL!! bro i love owls :( and ugh i get what u mean i feel like sometimes the time just slips away... but its okay! you'll have time at some later date <3 make sure you rest enough!!

guys what my jaw just dropped?? THOSE WERE THE MOST RANDOM PLOT POINTS YOU COULDVE LEFT ME WITH. NOW IM JUST CONFUSED? KINDA WANNA READ IT NOW (my readlist has 100+ books on it)...

AND IVE READ SOME OF IT BUT IM NOT UP TO DATE RN I HAVENT HAD MUCH TIME TO CATCH UP RECENTLY

im excited for your bday too!! im trying to math away the time differences in my head so like i would dm at 12 pm the day before your bday so i would catch u at midnight i THINK.

i hope u are having an AMAZING sleep rn alina!!! and u are so smart <3 barf ur teacher needs to stop doing that thats lowk unsanitary? in my book

HELP ME NOT THE JS LIKE ME FR 😭😭 hopefully u guys are able to figure out the gender soon!! im so excited for you guys <33

goshiki is under appreciated as a character honestly and i think its cause of his fuckass haircut 😭 NO OFFENSE TO YOU WHATSOEVER IM SORRY!! HES CUTE BUT THE HAIR IS NOT FOR ME. when i saw him shirabu AND tendou i was like "what the HELL is wrong with shiratorizawa they are all fucked" no they werent they had semi and ushijima BUT THAT WAS FIRST IMPRESSION ANYWAY also konoha UGRHSHSBNDMSJABD hes so!!! so!!! yeah!!! i love him sm... also how did we get on the topic of andrew tate hes such a weird guy i dont like him 💀 AND SO REAL im excited to be 16 <3

AND I HAVE!! make sure u eat something nutritious before school! and drink some water!! i hope your day is lovely <3 ily!!

[shitty-davesprite-daily]

dude

I think you needa get those wings clean

All that stuff in em can't be comfortable

TG: it TG: okay yeah actually its hella uncomfortable TG: but man theyre giant ass feathery pieces of shit theyre gonna be uncomfortable as fuck either way right TG: and like TG: cant just clean them TG: that shits mad embarrassing dude TG: just because im 'bird dave' doesnt mean i gotta be BIRD dave yfeel me TG: fuck man i start TG: god whatd the anon call it TG: fuckinn preening or whatever TG: i start doing that and i might as well just be sitting in a goddamn nest screaming for momma bird to come puke some worms and shit into my little pathetic ass mouth TG: because fuck man you cant expect a guy to feed HIMSELF what the hell do you think this is some rundown ten bucks a plate all you can eat buffet with just the saddest lookin goddamn lettuce youve ever seen in your life TG: sitting there in the salad bar all wilted and pathetic under the flourescent lights knowing its gonna be the last kid picked for the dodgeball team TG: nah son this is a five star dining experience and i aint expecting anything less. if i have to chew my food thats a goddamn crime and getting it myself?? might as well just throw me out of the nest now because fuck if im living in a world where i gotta handle myself TG: this shits all on momma bird my only job is to kick back and take them worms TG: except tough shit junior momma bird dont exist and poppa bird flew off to get bird cigs and never came back TG: so its like TG: well fuck man either you just sit there and rot or figure out how to fly your dumb feathery ass down there and start diggin up worms so you dont starve to death TG: and you better be a fast learner because theres a whole world of asshole birds twice your size thatll kick your feathery ass for those sweet sweet worms and if you dont figure out how to dodge em you sure as hell better learn how to fight because they really want those worms TG: sorry about that junior. no sittin around like the other baby birds getting worms on a silver spoon for you you gotta earn that shit TG: ... TG: point being TG: im not just gonna fuckin do bird shit right. thats hella cliche TG: and fuck that noise

[catamaurrr-star]

youve gotta be fucking kidding me man. there is no emoji that can describe my anguish

[sunsetstarving]

ok hi i like think i talked abt your ocs with you when you first shared the slides with me but i was going through my drive and i saw it again and i was like ok wait let me look! and i now have Thoughts

- FIRST OFF nefise is like so eldest daughter immigrant trauma. if this makes sense. i also understand why she turns evil for a bit

- dani's like my fave ever btw im like so not normal abt him. just the implications of the whole being someone whos always positive and optimistic (slightly delusional) and then starting to lose all that when the world starts ending. starting to lose yourself bc youre the literal fucking symbol of hope but you cant bring yourslef to be the least bit hopeful. god. rattling him around in my brain

- pls give kore a kazoo. im begging. also a turtle fits the green theme. shes like the coolest btw and i get the whole. like wanting to be someones first chocie but you feel like theyre always going to choose someone that they can love and love them romantically and hating yourself a little bit for not being able to like ouchhh man why you gotta zir like that. ough

- TESNIS LIKE THE BIGGEST LOSER im so obsessed w her. i love that you made her a jock but also a debate kid i think thats the funniest combo. also like the whole trying to remain unchanging/constant like the "if it aint broke dont fix it" mentality but then it DOES break and DANI breaks so then she HAS to change to fix it and. arhghghgh

- felicite!!!!! dude. ok the implications of her being the symbol of chance and the fact that the symbol of chance even exists at all is so crazy to me because like yeah. sometimes it truly is Like That. sometimes things are so out of your control and you can do nothing to stop it its just pure fucking luck and fate and the univesre shifting and ohhhhh god. i am so !!!! amped abt her and skull/fibula btw

- YOOO nefise and dani. idk if youve watched jjk but they are So satosugu coded i will elaborate if youd like but this is rlly long already i might have to take this to disc

- tesni and delshad WILL drive me insane. the absolute vulnerability and horrors of being so deeply known........ ugh

- said this already but. felicite and skull chance and death like broooo the fact that something so horrible something that takes so much from ppl is so closely tied to the concept of randomness and the unknwon. driving me insane

ANYWAYSSS thats like all of it um. yes i have thoughts! anyways

HIIII okay i finally got on desktop it took me a little bit we have been going everywhere. traveling is enjoyable sometimes but also...not always lmao BUT ANYWAY ILY AUGH i've been thinking abt this since last night. HELP all lighthearted but i do not think u ever said anything!! only the discord interaction i have been waiting ever since and boy oh boy.... the personal connection to every single one of them and the way u pointed them out immediately.

YEAH nefise is kind of just Like That. it came with the territory (being the asian character i project on forever) and also like..... the turning evil bit is everything to me bc the way she regrets none of it when she thinks about it from a distance but all it took was the sliver of hesitation, the flicker of exhaustion from constantly throwing herself at every problem, to simply take her down completely and have the team lose her. Yeah

dani my beloved... he was the original knight concept too. upon seeing this i HAD to draw him being a miserable fucker (<- phone battery ran out i will send these once i can grab some pictures!!) *jeopardy voice* what is burning out from the expectation to lead your world to the future despite having none of what you're supposed to be giving

YEAHHHH YOU GET IT. the. knowing that you're not broken and that this is just you but then the people you love make it feel like you shouldn't be the way that you are, that you need to change? forever experience. and while it continues to hurt and i don't think we can escape it i think good friends are a good remedy for the pain... and also ur so right they need a turtle so bad

and AHAHAHA tesni wahoo loser overachiever asian parents' favorite child (good at everything) and also biggest problem (anger issues) of all time. also love the family drama aspect like Yeah ofc she's going to have to change and yield and give ground. she has a sibling to take care of damn it

FELICITE AND FIBULA AOUGH.... this is so funny bc i literally had no clue what she was going to be but then chance sounded good. and then i was like Oh. the Implications of this are horrific. additionally yeah i think abt it all the time.... i've been following this comic series on instagram abt the grim reaper being a kind guy bc he's the messenger, not the one who controls any of it, and like... ouch, you know? the fact that it is unfair and horrible and there is no good timing about it. that sometimes it lines up just in time for a hilarious pun. death and chance being intertwined in the most cosmically random ways but in ways that absolutely make sense.

I STILL HAVEN'T the urge to ask vs the urge to wait until i've gotten to it vs the knowledge i will Not be doing that any time soon and. i should probably ask. pls tell me more in disc i would love to hear

tesni and delshad will kill me btw. that's like. going to suck. i'm gonna be so emotions about it bc it is not something i have yet delved into but i think abt it all the time. even more family drama. all of them scrambling to adjust to some of the most awful news one can never take back. grahh or whatever

anyway. i love this i love u i am SOOO happy you sent this!!!!! i am always so ecstatic to talk about the kids they are so beloved to me fr <333

[heatwa-ves]

hi hello i see youve started aa4, what do you think so far?:D

I like it a lot!!! apollo is great the gavins are great. im particularly fond of kristoph because I love evil blonde men I guess . forsure he and phoenix had a thing going on. I like trucy a lot!! she will never be maya and I miss maya sm babygirl please come back.. im on the trial of the third case and like. man there have gotta be laws protecting this random kid. at least an interpreter??? he has no idea what's going on someone give him a hug. the second case was really fun and silly. apollo is trans I know this it came to me in a vision. im plum kitakis number 1 fan. phoenix continues to be the love of my life. I miss maya. klavier gay as fuck why is he going omg I've never felt this way with a man before 😳😳😳 0.5 seconds after meeting apollo and then keeps on quoting his own love songs to him. bro u are not subtle. I miss franziska I miss maya . why are there no lesbians in this game yet 0/10 worst game of my life. I am still ema skyes number 1 hater btw you guys all like her too much

[soupdeewoop]

favorite lines from "THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT"

your wife waters flowers, i want to kill her

All my mornings are monday stuck in an endless february

but you're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down the road

we're modern idiots

You smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate

i scratch your head, you fall asleep, like a tattooed golden retriever

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me, but you told lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave

'cause it fit too right, puzzle pieces in the dead of night, I shouldve known it was a matter of time

'cause i knew too much, there was danger in the heat of my touch, he saw forever so he smashed it up

did you really beam me up?, in a cloud of sparkling dust, just to do experiments on, tell me I was the chosen one, showed me that this world is bigger than us, then sent me back where I came from

now im down bad crying at the gym, everything comes out teenage petulance, "fuck it if I cant have him", "I might just die, it would make no difference"

how dare you think its romantic, leaving me safe and stranded

my spine split from carrying us up to the hill, wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill

thinking how much sad did you think I had, did you think I had in me? oh the tragedy

i stopped cpr, after all its no use

two graves, one gun, ill find someone

you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? i died on the alter waiting for the proof

i just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you

id rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin', ill tell you something 'bout my good name, its mine along with all the disgrace, I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empire's clothing

there's a lot of people in town that I bestow upon my fakest smiles

my friends tried, but i wouldn't hear it, watched me daily disappearing, for just one glimse of his smile

another summer, taking cover, rolling thunder, he doesnt understand me, splintered back in winter, silent dinners, bitter, he was with her in dreams

little did you know you home's really only a town youre just a guest in

florida, is one hell of a drug, florida, can I use you up?

little did you know your home's really only the town youll get arrested, so pack your life away just to wait out the shitstorm back in texas

i need to forget, so take me to florida, ive got some regrets, ill bury them in florida, tell me I'm despicable, say its unforgivable, at least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, florida

go on, fuck me up

this cage was once just fine, am i allowed to cry?

what if hes written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?

these fatal fantasie given way to laboured breath taking all of me, weve already done in my head

what if the way you hold me is actually whats holy?

they dont know how youve haunted me so stunningly, i choose you and me, religiously

if you wanted me dead you shouldve just said

crash the party like a record crash as i scream, "whos afraid of little old me?", you should be

i wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me, you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

you caged me and then you called me crazy, i am what i am 'cause you trained me, so whos afraid of me?

they shake their heads saying, "god, help her" when i tell 'em hes my man

ill show you heaven if youll be an angel, all mine

whoa, maybe i cant

i thought i was better safe than starry-eyed

if you know it in one glimpse, its legendary, you and i go from one kiss to getting married

you shit-talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles, i wish i could unrecall, how we almost had it all

youre the loss of my life

the lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night, i can show you lies

'cause im a real tough kid, i can handle my shit, they said "babe, you gotta fake it till you make it" and i did

lights, camera, bitch, smile, even when you wanna die

im so depressed, i act like its my birthday everday

'cause im miserable (haha), and nobody even knows, try and come for my job

and i dont even want you back, i just want to know, if rusting my sparking summer was the goal

you didnt measure up in any measure of a man

in fifty years will all this be declassifed?, and ill say, "good riddance"

i wouldve died for youre sins, instead i just died inside

so when i touch down, call the amateurs and cut 'em from the team

'cause the sign on your heart said its still reserved for me, honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

he jokes that "its heroin, but this time with an E"

you look like clara bow

this town is fake but youre the real thing, breath of fresh ait through smoke rings

the crowd goes wild at her fingertip, half moon shine, a full eclipse

youre the new god were worshipping, promise to be dazzling

beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours demanding more

you look like taylor swift, in this light, were loving it, youve got edge, she never did, the futures bright, dazzling

[icyfox17]

YES!!!

🌀🌤️🌈🌩️

For any WIPs that contain crime boys :D

I'm having the problem of not sure what I've sent to you before LMAOO

okay i think i got it... i dont think youve seen any of these, not sure though FKDSJK

🌀Post the fic summary for a fic you haven't written/published yet. It can be hypothetical or something you really plan on releasing…

i dont actually know if this will have crimeboys but i can't find the summary i originally wanted to share sooo

Tommy had been a vigilante for over a year now and had seen some pretty weird things. A toilet paper thief, a gang that used rats to communicate, a dog with its own blog, you get the gist. He was certain that nothing would phase him.

That is, until he got sucked into a portal to another universe and was mistaken as Spider-Man. His suit didn't even have a spider on it the fuck.

This was gonna be a long day.

🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP.

i dont really have a fav but i am really proud of this one so :o

"Wilbur," he said after a quiet moment.

Tommy turned in confusion. "What?"

Phantom looked down for a moment before looking back up and meeting him in the eyes. "My name's Wilbur."

Tommy blinked. Once. Twice. Phantom had just broken the number one rule in being a vigilante (or well maybe the number three rule, behind no killing and no maiming). He… wasn't sure what to think of it.

He took a bite of his sandwich instead. "Tommy."

Wilbur continued staring at him, a question in his eyes.

"That's my name bitch," he said between mouthfuls. "I'm not going to let you steal the spot light with a name reveal. Besides," and he shrugged, trying to shake off the seed of anxiety that had begun to grow in him. "only fair, innit?"

Wilbur snorted before extending his hand. "Suppose so. Well, nice to meet you Tommy."

Tommy rolled his eyes but shook the hand anyway. "You're such a theatre kid."

He made a noise of protest. "Am not!"

Tommy snorted. "You are the definition of a theatre kid Ph-Wilbur. You'd think you were a villain with your long ass monologues."

Wilbur slapped him on the arm gently. "You are ridiculous. I do not monologue."

"Uh-huh. Sure, Wilbur. Didn't you literally go on for five minutes yesterday about how much smarter you are than Jester after you managed to knock him on his ass."

"I- It wasn't a monologue-"

"Oh, what was it then?"

"It was simply an astute observation."

Tommy gave him a dead pan look. "An observation that lasted five minutes."

Wilbur reached up and tussled his hair. "Shut up gremlin. I won't stand for this slander."

"It's not slander if it's the truth," Tommy said cheekily, leaning into the touch of his hair.

Wilbur only sighed and continued to run his fingers through Tommy's hair. They sat in comfortable silence for awhile after that, watching the occasional car drive by. Soon it turned to five am and Tommy stood up, despite wanting nothing more than to stay there in that moment forever.

Wilbur made a discontent noise and tried to pull Tommy back beside him but Tommy shrugged him off lightly. "I have school in a few hours prick. I gotta go back home before me parents catch me."

Wilbur pouted. "Five more minutes?"

"Sorry Big P, no can do tonight."

Wilbur sighed before standing up and stretching his limbs, wincing as his muscles popped. "At least let me walk you home."

Tommy waved him off. "I'll be fine, big man. Promise."

"Promise?"

Tommy nodded, smiling reassuringly. "I promise."

Wilbur relented, ruffling his hair one last time before he stood back, smiling fondly as he watched him wander off.

🌈 Share something soft/fluffy from your WIP.

Tears welled up in Wilbur's eyes and he smiled, patting his shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Tommy."

Tommy looked up at him, tears threatening to fall for him as well. He struggled to find the words explaining how he was feeling at the moment. He decided to hug him instead, burying his face into Wilbur's chest.

Wilbur hugged him back and they stayed there for a few moments, just holding each other.

🌩️ Share something funny/cracky from your WIP.

“Finishing chewing first before you speak, child.”

“What if I don’t want to?” Tommy shot back.

“Then I’ll get a spray bottle from Phil and spray you with it. Teach you some manners.”

“You wouldn’t,” smiled Tommy, sweet with saccharine. 

“Oh, I would.”

And that was how the two of them found themselves in a spray bottle fight just a few moments later. Phil watched from the sidelines amusedly, simply telling them to not trash the place or they’d have to stay and clean up.

In the end, they both ended up sitting on the floor together, completely soaked, though Tommy would say that he won, thank you very much. 

Bonus Snipp that is more crack, but is not crimeboys (ig you could see it as crimeboys but I intended it as clingyduo ^-^)

~

Thump.

Tommy untensed his body. That hadn't hurt nearly as much as he had expected.

He opened his eyes to a number of garbage bags. Well, he wrinkled his nose, that explained the smell.

Honestly, it wasn't that uncomfortable. Tommy thought he could sleep in here. He leaned back and shifted into a more comfortable position. Yeah, he could totally sleep in here. Maybe he would. His body ached like hell and he really didn't feel like moving. Sleeping here sounded like a good idea. He could deal with garbage smell. He'd explain to Tubbo in the morning. It'd be fine.

~~

It was not fine.

Tommy awoke to a bag being flung on top of him. He gagged and dodged out of the way of more bags that were being dumped in.

"Hey!!"

Whoever had thrown away the garbage, evidently had not heard him because he was soon thrust in darkness with a loud slam.

He groaned. Okay, so maybe sleeping in a dumpster wasn't his brightest idea. In his defense, it was 4 am. Nobody makes smart decisions at 4 am.

After another few minutes of contemplating his life, he sat up and pushed the lid of the dumpster open. Or at least, he tried to.

"What the fuck," he muttered under his breath.

He tried again, putting more effort into it. It opened slightly, but stopped after an inch or two. Tommy peered through the crack to see chains. Who the fuck locked their dumpster??

~~~ "You really are a fucking raccoon."

"That is not nice of you to say."

"You slept in a dumpster."

"I, okay fair point but still--"

[ungodly-amounts-of-godly-trauma]

its really interesting to see the whole of it, honestly. tbom itself is like a fever dream. its fast paced, treats everything lightheartedly, is batshit insane and has lots of jokes and laughs, etc. all the fancontent though is the most gut wrenching fucked up shit ever though. mainly because the musical just grazes over all these kids' trauma and a lot of it is implied instead of strictly mentioned. religious trauma is some of the heaviest and these kids have Been Through It. you remember theyre kids though with lines such as the following:

“i always had the hope that on the day i go to heaven, Heavenly Father would shake my hand and say ‘youve done an AWESOME job kevin!!’”

“i believe that god has a plan for all of us, and i believe that that plan involves me getting my own planet!”

“im gonna be the mormon that changed all of mankind! its something ive foreseen, now that im nineteen, ill do something incredible that blows god’s freakin’ mind!!!!”

“jesus dug down deep, knowing what he had to do. when sentenced to his own death, jesus knew that he had to…. man up! he had to man up. so he crawled up on the cross and stuck it out. he had to man up, christ, he manned up. and showed us all what real manning up is about”

--kevin anon

oh yeah i . i definitely see that. damn kevin deserved better... u did good kevin. augh now i wanna watch it so bad. but i gotta stay strong bc my exams arent going to pass themselves

[boypussydilf]

for the headcanons ask game tell me about. kururu. curry creature. and also obligatory dororo

CURRY CREATURE SEND IT TO HELL ohgod this is my first time answering an ask game on desktop it feels Weird. different formatting. unsettling.

gender & sexuality hc: im consolidating these into 1 bc the answer to both is Whatever's Funny. "sergeant major i see that for gender youve just written down... 'the bit'. care to elaborate on that" "no"

A ship I have with said character: there are a total of 2 kururu ships i would say that i ship and theyre both just bc "i think it would be really really funny". kurugiro (giroro fucking hates kururu so much. in the anime kururu is either Genuinely Into giroro or just thinks its really funny to fuck with him by acting like he is, its unclear. whatever it is i think its funny. to be honest.) and kuruaki (*kururu voice* i fucked your mom shit lips)

A BROTP I have with said character: KURURU AND SABURO/MUTSUMI BESTIES FOREVER. THEYRESO!!!! Evreyone watch Keroro Gunso Episode 229. i just think theyre neat they dont really interact much bc saburo doesnt... show up? very much? and also theyre both Loner Types they dont do a lot of Hanging Out. but theyre literal #besties and they would be even if they WERENT also kind of each others only friends. they Get each other. its fun.

A NOTP I have with said character: uhh. man i dont know. like, i guess kurumois since shes Most Likely supposed to be a teenager. can i say kurugiro again bc its funny

A random headcanon: *BLINK* I DONT KNOW... I MISS HAVING TONS OF RANDOM HEADCNONS ABOUT CHARACTERS I FEEL LIKE I USED TO DO IT MORE. i think those 2 background kids we see hanging out with him like one time as a child are his siblings but thats a standard opinion. i think kururuko exists bc shes kururus ideal gender presentation for real. or at least some of it. whats the point of being a super powerful hacker if youre not a trans girl

General opinion over said Character: kururu my friend kururu. i really like him actually. hashtag Deeper Than He Seems. guy whos literally just here to fuck around, do whats funny, and have a good time. theyre GREAT. we need MORE kururu.

DORORO TIME under a cut so this post doesnt get long, if uh. if i know how to do readmores on desktop

THERE IT IS! please dont break

readmores always break for me but i dont know if theyll do it on desktop too. i gotta put a couple lines so it doesnt delete anything.

dororo id die for him

Sexuality Headcanon: THIS FROG IS GAY

Gender Headcanon: listen to me dororo is a trans guy and i mean earth kind of guy. i mean he explains it to the others by going "you know, like fuyuki". i mean binary by human standards nonbinary by keronian standards. i mean wouldnt it be really fucking funny if you knew you were trans (as a kid he went to garuru for advice on transgenderism bc garuru is also trans but thats lore-from-my-brain for another day) but for your entire life couldnt really place any definition that sounds right and then you go to an entire different planet and hang out with people there and go ok. question. your genders. can i have one

A ship I have with said character: GIRODORO. [starts shaking like a leaf]

A BROTP I have with said character: DORORO AND KOYUKI AUTISM FATHER DAUGHTER DUO FOREVER. THEYRE SO!!!!!!!!!!!! i said "theyre so" about saburo and kururu too didnt i. theyre just all so. literally all of their interactions are so sweet!!! and adorable!!!! hes so protective of her!! and nice!! shes the only person who never Forgets He Even Exists. theyr eiguuguguuagagagauauagagh. shout out to the end of the koyunatsu first date episode when hes like "dont worry koyuki i stayed home the entire time like you asked" amd also shout out to every other time hes her nice dad.

A NOTP I have with said character: kerodoro. no offense but that would not work ever. you get it.

A random headcanon: this is more theory ground than headcanon, tbh, on account of i am drawing from canon evidence. i think he is on good terms with his little brother. ok look heres how it is. we know dororo has a little brother but we know next to nothing about that brother or their relationship. one of the things we DO know is one of the many things-belonging-to-dororo that keroro broke as a kid and never told him about, dororo blamed on his little brother and was really pissed at him about it. yeah this happened when he was like, nine, but hes dororo hes. well he is consistently not even remotely a person who moves on from things just bc they were kids. besides when he confronts keroro about That Particular Shit-Getting-Broken Incident he specifically brings up how he got mad at his brother & his mom like it was A Big Deal With A Lasting Effect. BUT in ep 183 he sees giroro & garuru interacting and is just like yay! its nice to have brothers isnt it! and reasonably hes just at Cameo levels of appearing in that episode so its not like hed be doing much or getting much dialogue anyway but still, hes dororo, if he was still actively broken up about anything to do with his brother hed have more to say than just Brothers are good! So with my expert detective skills I have come to the conclusion that Dororo had some Not Insubstantial issues with his brother but its all good now. hi this is so long <3 im normal <3 mine yoshizaki PLEASE for the love of GOD drop the dororos little brother lore id do ANYTHING. WHATS HE LIKE. SHOW THEM INTERACTING JUST ONCE. OR TWICE. OR MORE THAN THAT

General opinion over said Character: dororo the ORIGINAL Favorite Character. id die for him. id kill myself for him. but he would not want that. i treasure the seaside wedding we had when i was 9. i want him to go to therapy. i want to throw him off a cliff. i need to psychoanalyze this frog. dude is my bestie. words cannot fucking express it. dororo for the love of god dororo. think of him and be enlightened. dies

[applejuiceaddictyo]

hey bro, again sorry for dippin the past coupla days. been busy an i aint had much time to front. gunna take a shower after sendin this so might take a minute to respond, but not doin it again, promise.

went through and read what i missed the past couple days. prolly aint gonna be able to address all of it but fuck, we can try. uhh, sweet on the haircut, wish i could get our hair like mine but fuck if i want to use gel, that shit feels like satan. the classpectin goes hard, forget what our overall one is but i know it was some wild shit. aint done one for myself i don think, maybe ill need to try it out.

more importantly, hope yer feelin better. hate seein that youve been down the past few days. i know sayin it wont make you believe it, but you aint just the 'less real' version of dave. i love ya, kid. sure a ton of other people do too, but. yeah. not just your source neither, i like you as a person now. youre real damn funny and witty, got me grinnin like an idiot over half the shit ya say.

less real note, orange creamsicle frostys are bangin, and i see that damn mccafferty reference. felt on the reviewin shitty music too. i love doin that with movies, 'ts hilarious. gotta go back to yer roots with the ironic enjoyment of media and allat.

goddamm thats a long ass message. you know what else is long? im not finishing that sentence

did you...seriously go though all the posts you missed? thats. wow. thats some dedication, i salute you. o7 in the chat

gonna attack all that shit in one paragraph. be prepared. ALRIGHT. you should totally classpect yourself. itd be funny if you still got prince though and ended up stuck with those poofy ass pants

ok i lied i cant look at a paragraph that big without it hurting my poor sweet eyes. not doing that. anyway im...kinda doin better? honestly that shit just happens at random and i wait it out. usually turns out ok. but uh. thank you. i mean the 'a ton of other people love you' thing isnt really accurate but its nice to know that theres one or two out there (besides the other people in sys)

only half the things i say though? damn. gotta up my game

wooow you caught the extremely obvious mccafferty reference(s), how impressive. id give you a trophy but those are kinda lame. maybe one of the cheap plastic "youre a star!" ones

ill never stop loving consuming shitty media man. one of my favorite youtubers routinely tortures himself with it and its fucking great