#your parents gave you a party and the king would visit you and donate to you a piece of land
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i-am-kind-of-lost · 11 months ago
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Shame on Britishers and Muslims for teaching us patriarchy and discrimination
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templepurohit · 4 years ago
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Somvar Vrat or Monday fast is practiced to propitiate Lord Shiva. Bhagvan Shiva is also recognized with names like Mahadev, Shankar, Umapati, Rudra, BholeNath, Bhole Bhandari, and so on. Mahadev is the supreme Lord for Hindus. Millions of Hindus admire this Lord from the depth of their hearts with extreme devotion. Every Monday a massive crowd of devotees is noticed in shrine or temples of Mahadev, because Monday is very dear to Mahadev. The Panchakshara Mantra “Om Namah Shivaya” is repeated on this day in the name of Lord Shiva. People who are facing obstacles in their married life or facing delays in marriage can observe the Monday fast. Fasting on Mondays is also beneficial for accomplishing the wish of getting a desired partner. There are three types of Somvar Vrat and the Vrat Katha associated with them are : Somvar Vrat Once there lived a wealthy merchant in a city. He always had immense wealth and prosperity. However, despite all the worldly possessions, he remained sad because he had no son. He regularly observed Monday fast to have a son. He went to the Shiva temple and worshipped Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati there with full faith. Goddess Parvati was extremely pleased with his devotion and implored Lord Shiva saying, “My Lord, this wealthy merchant is your faithful devotee. He regularly observes Monday fast but still he has no son. Please fulfil his desire.” Hearing the implorings of Parvati, Lord Shiva said, “Let your desire be fulfilled. I grant him a boon. He will be the father of a son, but he will live for twelve years only”. Fortunately, this wealthy merchant could hear their conversation. As time passed on, the merchants wife gave birth to a beautiful son. He celebrated his sons birth with great pomp and show and distributed food, clothes and money among the poor. All prayed for his sons long and happy life. But the merchant was still sad because he knew that his son would not live beyond twelve years and that Yama, the god of Death, spares none. Knowing what the situation was, the merchant started observing the Monday fast with greater zest but there was no let up in the worship of Lord Shiva. At the age of eleven, the merchants son looked quite smart and mature. All desired that he should be married to a beautiful girl. The merchant’s wife also wanted her sons marriage. She insisted for it again and again but the merchant did not agree to this proposal. He sent for his brother-In-law and said, “Accompany my son to Kashi. Arrange for his best spiritual knowledge. Take enough money from my treasure. Arrange devotional gatherings on your way to Kashi at every halt and distribute alms among the Somvar Vrat Kathabeggars.” The merchant’s son started his journey for Kashi with his maternal uncle. They arranged devotional gatherings and distributed clothes at every halting camp. They also arranged best eats for the Brahmans and made enough offerings to them. One day they made a halt at a capital of a king. The marriage of the King’s daughter was to take place that day. The marriage party had already reached the city. The bridegroom’s party was terribly disturbed because the bridegroom was blind, of one eye. They were in search of a beautiful boy to replace him. The bridegroom’s father sent his men in search of a beautiful boy. The men spotted the merchant’s son who was camping in an inn with his maternal uncle. The bridegroom’s father was a rich person. He said to the boy’s maternal uncle, “My prestige is at stake. I need a handsome bridegroom in place of my one-eyed son. I shall give enough wealth if your ward agrees to have a temporary marriage with the kings daughter. He shall be free immediately after the marriage ceremony is over.” The merchant’s brother-in-law convinced the boy for a temporary marriage. The bride’s party praised their luck when they saw a handsome bridegroom with the marching band at the head of the marriage procession. The merchant’s son and the kings daughter were, thus, married around the holy fire. At the time of departure, the merchant’s son picked his brides scarf and wrote, “Now we are husband and wife. I am not the son of a king. I am the son of a rich merchant. I was on way to Kashi for spiritual studies. Your real bridegroom is blind on one eye.” The bride noticed her bridegroom writing something on the scarf. She could not read his message at that time. When the marriage party was about to depart, the bride read the message. She was shocked to know the reality. She refused to accompany with the one-eyed bridegroom. The marriage party returned without a bride. The boy reached Kashiji and devoted himself fully to spiritual studies. His maternal uncle arranged devotional gatherings in the name of Lord Shiva and gave donations everyday for the well-being of his sister’s son. On the last day of the twelfth year, the merchant’s son felt pain in the chest. His maternal uncle was performing the religious rites as per his routine. As he went inside the room, he found the boy dead. He was full of grief, but kept silent as the Brahmans would not accept food from such a house. With courage, he completed his routine. When his routine was over, he started crying. Many people gathered around him and shared his grief. Fortunately, Lord Shiva and Parvati were also passing by that house. When Parvati heard the cries, her motherly compassion got aroused. She was a mother, after all. Having known the facts, she said to Lord Shiva, “My dear Sire, please ask Yama to return his life. Yama is always at your command. Please do this favour to me. You are the protector of all creatures.” Lord Shiva agreed to this because of the family’s devotion towards him and sprinkled water from the holy river Ganga on the dead body. The boy got up as if he was making an excuse for sleep. The spiritual education of the merchant’s son was over. They started their journey homeward. They arranged spiritual discourses and distributed aims among the needy throughout their way. Now, they were back in the city where this boy was married. The king recognized the boy immediately. He took him to his palace with full honor and on an auspicious day, he arranged to happy departure for his daughter. He also gave adequate dowry. The merchant’s son reached his city along with his bride. His father could not believe it. He was sitting on the roof of a big mansion with his wife, waiting for his son. They had decided that they would not come down until their son supported them himself; otherwise they would commit suicide. Therefore, finding him alive, his parents were glad and thanked Mahadev. Som Pradosh Vrat ‘Pradosh’ means ‘the dusk of the early night’ or ‘evening tide’. This fast is observed in the evening twilight, and so it is called Pradosh Vrat. It is observed on the 13th day of each lunar fortnight. It is practiced to propitiate Lord Shiva, in order to obtain his blessings and boons leading to fulfillment of one’s cherished desired and spiritual upliftment.Those who practice it with unflinching faith and devotion are bound to possess wealth, health, happiness. Solah Somvar Vrat – 16 weeks Monday fast Once Lord Shiva visited the famous city of Amravati. Parvati also accompanied him. On their way, they saw a beautiful Shiva temple and decided to spend some time there. One day, Parvati found Lord Shiva in a playful mood. She said to him, Oh my Lord, let us have a dice game. Lord Shiva obliged her and the game started. Meanwhile, the priest of the temple had come there. Parvati turned towards him and said Please foretell who will win this game? The Brahman gave no serious thought to her question and abruptly said, Lord Shiva will win the game. Incidentally Parvati won the game. She was angry because the Brahman had told a lie. Lord Shiva tried to pacify her, but she cursed the Brahman that he be a leper. In due course, the Brahman became a leper and spent a miserable life. After some time a few fairies descended on the earth and pitied the fate of the priest. On asking him, the priest narrated the whole episode. One of the fairies said, “You observe Monday fasts for sixteen weeks without break. On the seventeenth Monday, prepare some holy food or Prasad with flour mixed with ghee and gur. Distribute this prasaad among the members of your family and take some yourself. You will be free from this leprosy.” The fairies disappeared and the priest followed the instructions. Soon, he regained his normal health. Once Lord Shiva and Parvati again visited that temple. Parvati was surprised to see the priest. He was his normal self. She enquired about this feat and the priest narrated the whole story. Parvati was happy, she also decided to observe Monday fasts for sixteen weeks. Incidentally, on the seventeenth Monday, when she broke her fast, her beloved son Lord Kartikeya, who was displeased with her, appeared and said, “Oh dear mother what is that power with which you have called me? What is the mystery?” Parvati said, “Oh my dear son, all this miracle is due to observing Monday fasts for sixteen weeks without interruption.” Kartikeya’s Brahman friend had been in a foreign land for quite some time. Kartikeya said, “I shall observe Monday fasts for sixteen weeks for happy reunion with my friend.” He, then, observed the 16 weeks fasts as per rules and to his great surprise, his friend returned hale and hearty.Solah Somvar Vrat Katha The friend enquired about the miracle and Lord Kartikeya told him the modalities to be observed for Monday fast. The Brahman friend was very curious about his marriage. He decided to observe the Monday fasts for sixteen weeks. On the seventeenth Monday, the Brahman friend went to a city. The ruler of the city decided to marry his daughter to a person on whose neck his well-decorated elephant would put the garland. The Brahman joined the show. Incidentally, the elephant garlanded him. The ruler of the city gave him his daughter and also a lot of money. The couple departed the next day and were back in their home. On the honeymoon night, the bride said, “Oh my dear, how is it that the elephant ignored all the princes and garlanded you? How did you succeed on the auspicious moments?” The bridegroom said, “I observed fasts on sixteen Mondays. Monday is Lord Shiva’s day. It is due to his blessings that I got a beautiful wife like you. My friend Kartikeya revealed this secret to me.” The bride too decided to observe fasts on sixteen Mondays for a beautiful son full of knowledge. Her devotion bore fruit and she gave birth to a beautiful son. As the son grew up, he said to his mother, “Oh my dear mother, what is the mystery behind my birth? Please reveal it to me.” The mother told him how she observed Monday fasts. The son also decided to observe the fasts to gain a kingdom for his parents. Incidentally, an old kings messengers from a nearby State came there in search of a beautiful and learned bridegroom for the princess. They proposed the princess hand for him and he readily agreed. The king expired after sometime and the boy became the king. The newly-made king continued his fasts for the next sixteen Mondays. On the seventeenth Monday, he arranged a large prayer party at a temple. All the arrangements were made well in advance. The king requested the queen to accompany him to the temple for breaking the fast after taking pras ad from the priest. The queen refused to go with him. The king had to go alone. The king heard an oracle who echoed, “Oh king, turn out the queen from the palace or destruction will fall upon you.” The king returned to his palace. He summoned a conference of his ministers and told about the oracle. All of them were taken aback, as it was due to that princess that he became the king of the state. They agreed to his proposal only with a heavy heart. The queen was ultimately turned out. The queen left the palace bare footed and in worn-out clothes. She was thirsty and fatigued. She met an old lady who had a load of spinned spindles on her head. She was going to the city. She felt pity on her and asked to help her in selling the yarn because she did not know the art of selling. The queen took that load on her head. Incidentally, strong wind blew away the spindles which disappeared in the dusty wind. The queen felt sorry and the old lady asked her to go away. The queen went to an oilman’s house and sought shelter. The oilman obliged her, but as she stepped in, all of his oil pots developed cracks and the oil began to flow on the ground. The oilman immediately turned her out. The queen was now disheartened. She went to the bank of a river to quench her thirst. As she touched the water, the water dried up. She then went to a deep jungle and saw a tank of water. As she went down the stairs and touched the crystal dear water, it became muddy. She cursed her fate and put a few drops of the muddy water in her mouth. She was now tired and wanted to take rest under a shady tree. As she went near the tree its leaves began to fall and soon it became leafless. The cowherds saw this incident and told the whole story to the priest of a nearby temple. The priest called for the woman. He was surprised to see that the woman had royal features. He consoled her and provided her with all the facilities. But after some days, he also got fed up with her because whatever the woman touched became impure, may it be milk, food or water. One day, the priest said, “Oh lady, what curse has fallen upon you? You reveal the mystery.” The woman told him how she rejected a proposal to attend Monday fast prayer. The priest understood the whole thing. He knew it was Shiva’s curse. He said, “Oh dear lady, you observe fasts on sixteen Mondays and Lord Shiva will absolve you of your sins.” The woman realised her mistake and observed the Monday fasts for sixteen Mondays. On the seventeenth Monday, the king said to himself, “My queen left my palace long ago. Her condition must be very miserable.” He called for his courtiers and ordered them to search out the queen. The courtiers reached the temple where the queen was residing. The priest refused to hand over the queen to them and said, “Let the king himself come to receive her.” The courtiers went to the king and related the whole story. The king was happy to hear the news. He went to the temple and requested the priest to return his queen to him. The king admitted that he deserted the queen to avoid Lord Shiva’s wrath. The priest trusted the kings words and the queen returned to the palace. She was given a royal welcome. The king distributed money among the needy and arranged food for the hungry. The king and queen now regularly observed fasts on sixteen Mondays each year and lived a very happy life. After their death they found abode in Lord Shivas city, Shivapuri. Since, then it is believed that a person who observes fasts on sixteen Mondays, gets all pleasures and enters Shivapuri after his death. Most devotees also observe fast during four or five Mondays of Shravan month. It is believed that worshiping Lord Shiva during Shravan month is very auspicious and observing Monday fast and reciting SolahSomvarVrat Katha during Shravan month can make Lord Shiva happy for sure. This is because Shravan month is deeply dear to Mahadev as it is believed that Goddess Parvati deeply wanted to marry to Lord Shiva, and thus she did solah somvar vrat with immense devotion to get Mahadev. Solah Somvar Vrat Timing It is believed that Monday fasting would be very fruitful if started from the first Monday of Shukla Paksh of Shravan month (June-July). Four or five Monday fasting can be done in a go. And as per willingness the person can continue this fast till 16 weeks of Monday starting from Shukla Paksh (waxing period of moon) of Shravan month. However, simple Monday fast can also be started from first Monday of Shukla Paksha of Hindi Months – Chaitra, Baisakh, Kartik and Margsheersh. https://ift.tt/3b1L686
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immortalcockroach · 6 years ago
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ELEVEN MONTHS FROM THAT NIGHT
summary: Sometimes Clarke wakes up in strangers’ arms.
This time, it’s worse than a stranger – it’s her best friend’s brother.
pairing: Bellamy x Clarke
words: 2,620
read on AO3
Sometimes, Clarke wakes up in strangers’ arms. There have been quite a few beds she’d found herself in after a night she barely remembers. Some were the canopy beds, with thin, warm bodies and gentle breasts pressed into her back. Some were king-sized beds in bare rooms, where the bodies would be big and buffed, almost wrapping their limbs around her. Some were the tiniest beds in one-room apartments.
She’d woken up with a lot of strangers in a lot of strange places.
After waking, she’d quietly get out of the bed, pick up her things and order an Uber, leaving before they even got the chance to wake up.
This time, she woke up with the stranger’s breath at the top of her head. It was a male hand resting on her waist, his leg draped over hers as her head was lying on his arm. She could feel the warmth of his body on her own skin, under the covers, and it irked a part of her brain that contained memories from the last night, more so than it usually happens.
He smelled nice, too. A little bit like sweat but also like walnut and soft cotton – familiar. She couldn’t quite place it, but it relaxed her; gave her an illusion of safety that she knew she shouldn’t have.
Clarke wanted to stay a few seconds more. She didn’t recall ever waking up and feeling like this.
She couldn’t say what ‘this’ is, either.
When she opened her eyes, she didn’t look at him. It was a deliberate decision – if she looked at him and he didn’t look exactly like the kind of muscular guy with soft skin who smells like walnut and soft cotton and makes her feel safe, she was going to be disappointed.
Instead, she looked at the ceiling; white. The walls had the slightest tinge of purple on them, and she could see a crack on the one right in front of the bed that kind of looked like an ‘S’ with a fattening in the middle.
Oh.
She knew the crack. She knew the blue covers she was in and before she even looked, she knew there’d be a mahogany bookstand on her left.
When Clarke closed her eyes and opened them again, it didn’t go away.
She still didn’t look at the person she was partially sleeping on. If it was who she thought it was, she had no idea how she’d deal with it.
Clarke only ever slept with strangers. Never, ever, ever, would she sleep with her best friend’s brother.
Her eyes opened slowly and carefully, but he didn’t budge. His breathing was in a perfect rhythm and he hadn’t moved this whole time, something she was more than grateful for.
Sure enough, Bellamy’s face was littered with freckles that became even darker in the summer; there were the cheeks that dimpled when he smiled, and long eyelashes Octavia had always been envious of. She could point out the scar across his lip he got when he fell did a drunken stunt of falling into a pool and she’d been the one to get him to do it.
This was Bellamy Blake. Her best friend’s brother, her good friend, and a person she has many memories with.
Clarke might’ve had a crush on him for the past two or three years, not long after he earned that scar, but Clarke has had many crushes. She was fine with that.
She checked; she was wearing shorts that she left at his place about a year ago, when they visited Miller down the road and everybody got wet from sprinklers, and she changed here. There was a bra on her and one of Octavia’s tank tops.
Maybe they didn’t have sex.
As if on cue, the moment she looked up at Bellamy, his eyes popped open.
His eyebrows furrowed, just the slightest bit, and she could see him replaying last night’s events in his mind. Then his face relaxed, he smiled, and pulled his limbs away from her.
“We didn’t have sex, if that’s what’s bothering you.”
Of course he’d be able to tell that just from her face, even when he’s been awake for less than five seconds.
The thing is, she’s known Bellamy for five years. He was twenty-three when she first met him, when he drove Octavia all the way from Colorado to Washington for university, and Clarke was an excited sophomore excitedly expecting to meet her freshman roommate.
The thought of sleeping with Bellamy horrifies her as much as it excites her. For now, she’s just stupidly glad it didn’t happen.
“Cool. What happened, then?”
Bellamy stretched, let out a yawn and earned a bump in the shoulder for stalling. “Miller, Murphy and I were having a night out when you called, saying your date is a creep who lives in his parents’ basement.”
“And? I remember that part.”
“And then you decided you wanted to party with us, so you and Murphy got totally smashed, and you threw up so I had to bring you here to take a shower.”
“Why didn’t you just drive me home?”
Bellamy gave her a look that said the answer is obvious. “You stinked.”
“So what?”
“I didn’t want you in my car for twenty minutes. I was going to drive you home after you took your shower, but you fell asleep on my bed almost immediatelly, and I wasn’t exactly sober either, so it was easier to just go to sleep.”
“Huh.” The story made sense. Her thighs felt a little sore, so she might’ve had sex with the guy, too. It sounds like something she’d do. “Fine. What do you want for breakfast?”
“Pancakes.” Bellamy shot her a warm smile as she got up, patting her back and letting out a sigh. “Oh Clarke, you’re the best.”
“I know.”
After they ate breakfast, Bellamy gave her a ride home and Clarke explained everything to Raven and Octavia. Everyone came over later for Miller’s official birthday party (which was what the guys had been celebrating the night before) and Clarke didn’t notice Bellamy talked to her a little less that night, because was drunk.
Raven did. When she pointed it out, Clarke just shrugged.
For the next two weeks, everyone was busy with their jobs and Clarke barely saw Bellamy. When she did it was in the passing, on his way out of the girls’ apartment when she was coming in, or the opposite. She didn’t notice their schedules never allowed them to spend time together, which hadn’t been a problem earlier.
Octavia did. When she pointed it out, Clarke said they’ve just been busy.
When it had been almost two months—not that Clarke was paying attention to it—she realized she saw him so scarcely that she was beginning to miss him.
But she kept telling herself it wasn’t intentional and instead of calling him up, she kept finding more strangers to hook up with.
(In retrospect, that should’ve been a sign for her.)
The first time they talked, it’s was a Wednesday and Clarke got a surprise day off work because someone had donated the art gallery a bunch of money. She got home less than an hour after she had left, and found Bellamy sitting on the couch, eating her leftover Chinese takeout from last night, watching the TV.
Raven wasn’t home and neither was Octavia, so she had no idea what he was doing here.
“Hey.” She greeted him with a smile, too, hanging her coat at the entrance.
Bellamy startled. “Oh, shit, I didn’t mean to—I thought you were—but you’re supposed to be working—I’ll get going—”
“Bellamy, relax,” she told him. When she plopped down on the couch right next to him, grabbing some of the noodles, he was still frozen. “I don’t mind you here. I barely see you anyway, I’ve missed you.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” he said, sounding genuine. “I’ve just been so busy and—”
“Busy hanging out at my apartment while nobody’s home.”
It wasn’t meant to come off as sharp as it did, but maybe Clarke managed to work up some resentment towards the situation during the past three months. There were only so many excuses she could give about the change in their rhythm.
“Right. Maybe I should go.”
“Yeah. Maybe you should.”
He left and Clarke couldn’t find it in her to feel actually sorry about it.
When she talked to Raven, a few days later—she had tried to forget about it—it turned out that she’s been a lot angrier about the whole situation than she thought.
Raven listened, patiently, and once Clarke is finished ranting, she looked at the blonde with a serious face. “You need to talk to him.”
“No,” Clarke said. “He’s been avoiding me.”
“You finally admit it.”
In the end, Clarke just felt more miserable when she left than when she had come to the girl’s room. Octavia isn’t of much help either, so she’s stuck with herself.
Somehow, about a month later, they’ve fallen into their usual rhythm from now four months ago. They ate Chinese takeout together almost once a week, with Friday night bar outings, occasional games with Monty and Jasper and everyone else, and Bellamy even driving her from and to work from time to time.
Five months since that night was about the time when Clarke realized she still had a crush on him. And that she really liked spending time with him.
She didn’t notice she’d been sleeping around a little less.
(It should’ve been a sign, too.)
Five and a half months since that night was when he started dating Echo. Clarke liked her, almost against her will, and she was a refreshing addition to their group of friends.
Clarke started sleeping around a little more.
Six months since that night was when Clarke met Lexa, and six and a half months since that night was when they started dating. They were almost never around Bellamy and Echo.
Seven months since that night was when Octavia got engaged at twenty-three and Bellamy flipped out. Clarke was happy for her, even if she did think it’s a little too early. After a long night’s conversation, she managed to convince Bellamy it was going to be all right.
Eight months since that night it was Bellamy’s birthday that Octavia threw a party for and two weeks later it was Clarke’s. Before all of this, they used to celebrate it together. It was a tradition.
Somehow, the realization that relationships are what broke the tradition that had been around for five years is what brought Clarke to the realization she didn’t care about tradition in general. The only tradition she did care about was the one that includes Bellamy.
Bellamy wasn’t just a good friend – he was one of her best friends. No relationship in her life was going to be worth losing that.
Nine months since that night Clarke prepared another party, with Octavia’s help, for both of them, and didn’t invite Lexa to it. They were never going to work out, anyway.
Ten months since that night, Bellamy broke up with Echo. It was messier than with Clarke and Lexa, so Clarke drove to his apartment and watched documentaries about ancient Rome and Greece with him until they both fell asleep on the couch.
When she woke up, she was reminded of that night all those months ago. It felt almost the same.
At this point, Clarke knew she’d probably been in love with him for the past year or two.
Eleven months since that night, Clarke woke up in Bellamy’s bed, wearing nothing but underwear. It was Christmas morning and they’d been partying hard the night before, but neither of them had gotten drunk.
This is how she had been wishing to wake up, for a while now. Curled up against Bellamy’s side, feeling his warmth on her skin, peaceful as the early morning sun rays peer through the window.
Safe. And happy.
She’d slept over because it was simpler to crash at his place than go home, when Octavia was spending the night with Lincoln and Raven with Zeke.
And maybe because it was Christmas, or because she felt like she had been dumped into a bath of luck, or because she’d been in love with him for a lot longer than she’d like to admit, Clarke smiled when she looked at him.
“Bellamy,” she whispered. Her name sounded fragile on her lips and he, asleep, looked the part. “Hey. Bellamy.”
His long eyelashes parted easily, revealing the dark brown eyes that were still in a hazy dream.
“Hi.”
He was trying to look at her, but his eyes kept giving in to the sleep.
“What were you dreaming?”
Bellamy was quiet for a second or two, but a smile crept onto his lips. He didn’t open his eyes this time. “About how the last time we woke up like this, you made me the best pancakes I’ve ever had.”
“Really?” Clarke brushed some hair away from his forehead.
“No,” he said. “No dream could ever be that good.”
Clarke laughed. He opened his eyes, just for a second, and she could tell neither of them wanted to get out of bed – damn the pancakes.
“Bellamy,” she said again. “I’m in love with you.”
His eyes, now wide open, searched her whole face for something. All they could find was a smile, brighter than the entire world, than anything he could ever imagine, and paired with those words, he felt like he was burning at a stake.
There could be a library built for all the things he wanted to say.
All he did say was, “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He kissed her. It wasn’t their first—even if she didn’t know that—but it was the first that truly mattered, the way they both wanted it to.
“I’m in love with you, too,” he said. “By the way, we did have sex that night.”
Clarke said nothing. Maybe she’d hate him, but he’d made a promise to a drunken girl he was in love with and he intended on keeping it.
“I told you the truth, but I left out the part where you woke me up because you were thirsty and wanted to get water. I ended up getting it for you and when I came back, you kissed me. It only escalated from there. When we were done, you told me that you’ve been in love with me but deeply in denial, and that you were going to tell me, eventually. But you made me promise I wouldn’t tell you the full truth until then.”
Clarke rolled on her back. Knowing she had sex with Bellamy but didn’t remember it was a hard pill to swallow, but somehow it didn’t matter as much as it should.
He was still in love with her and she was in love with him. He waited almost a year—albeit with a distraction in-between—for her to come clean.
She couldn’t be mad at him.
She turned to face him, instead. “Why did you avoid me for months, then?”
He kissed her forehead. “Because if I hadn’t, I would’ve kissed you, or something. I would’ve broken my promise. And I wasn’t quite sure what the extent of my feelings was, either.”
“That must’ve sucked.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “I’ve got you now, don’t I?”
“Yeah.” Clarke kissed him, then flipped her body so she could be lying on top of him, knowing the full extent of what she’s capable of. “And we’ve also got some lost memories to make up for.”
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c-rankin93 · 8 years ago
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SHE'S NO YOU - Ch.2
Word count: 3100+
A/N: keep in mind in know that in 2016, the 6th of Dec wasn’t a Saturday. But ignore that like I have haha! & also this was originally 2 different chapters, but I combined them & I might do that with a few more so there isn’t so many chapters.
I’m glad that people have liked the first chapter. The drama hasn’t even started Unfolding yet! ✔✔❤❤
As usual: oversee the grammar and spelling mistakes I make. I’m not the best editor 🖕
– CHAPTER TWO: BIRTHDAY BLUES –
RAE POV:
Before I knew it Monday came around, and to say that I was excited to see my babies was an understatement. It had been two miserable days of not seeing their darling faces creating havoc around the house. I missed cleaning up after them, snuggling with Ruby at night when she couldn’t sleep, cooking with Joshua when wanted to bake.
In those two days I moped around the house, cleaning spotless bench tops, re-washing all the linen in the cupboards, and having lunch with Greg on the Sunday before he went to Los Angeles to see his sister for a week.
Since the kids school was only a few blocks away I decided to forgo the taxi and pick them up by foot. I even considered stopping at a small ice cream bar to give the kids a treat. It may have been the middle of November but I didn’t mind a little ice cream here or there.
I replaced my black stilettos for some ankle boots but left my work attire on, only putting thick white peacoat and black scarf over top. I grabbed my handbag and keys from the kitchen bench before locking up.
It was a bonus that I got to work half my days at home instead of being cooped up in a stuffy office for hours on end. Being a senior architect and a boss meant I could mold my own hours and delegate my work load. My boss and owner of the company, Chloe was an incredible lady and not much older then me. When I started working for her straight after collage, her business was just starting off.
Being only 5 years my senior meant that she turned into one of my closest friends. She was there visiting me at the hospital when both my children were born, and one of the people holding me up when my marriage broke. Apart from her, and my best friend Izzy, she was the only other person I trusted that wasn’t family.
The walk to columbia grammar and preparatory school only took about 20 minutes or so, it was a nimble walk along the streets of the upper west side. Finn refused to send our children to any other place stating ‘it’s what’s best for our children’s education’ and I couldn’t agree more.
It was a private school full of privileged young youths, the tuition alone per year was more then buying a house. But when it came to their learning money wasn’t a problem. It was one of the places Finn’s company donated heavily too, he was also on the board of trustees and a former student.
I opened the door to ruby’s class room and gathered with the other parents in the corner as the teacher was talking to the students.
“Hey Rachel” whispered another mom to the left of me, she was a sweet women that wasn’t short of bedazzling herself with stunning diamonds.
“Hi Rebecca, how’s your day?” I replied with a hushed whispered and shuffled closer to her so I didn’t disturb the class.
“Oh you know same old, same old. Patrick begs me to stay at home and keep my feet up until miss Isabella makes her grand entrance, he’s like a broken record that man” she smiles rubbing her, very round tummy. I looked at the 40-something year old in amazement, her hair prim and proper, with wonderful designer clothing and a kind hearted smile upon her face. It was rare to meet genuine people in New York. It reminded me to set up a coffee date with her sometime soon.
“Listen to your husband Rebecca, Patrick’s right you should put your feet up more often. You won’t be able to do it when she comes along” I tutted and chuckled quietly at my authority.
“Yeah maybe but I’ll be so bored. I need to be doing something or I feel like I’m going crazy”.
“I know how you fe-”
I was interrupted by the feel of a tiny body constricting themselves around my legs in joy. Her little pony tail bouncing with her movement when Ruby began jumping lightly on the balls of her feet. A smile radiated my face, leaning down I wrapped an arm around Ruby’s back and cuddle my little girl close.
“I missed you too sweety” I whispered softly into her ear and returned to my stand position.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow Rebecca, I’ve got to get going to Josh’s classroom” I learned over a pecked her cheek in Farwell. “Bye brody” I patted her sons head as they both smiled and waved goodbye.
After collecting ruby’s bag and coat, we headed down the hall to Josh’s class. Her tiny hand secure in mine as we walked side by side through the busy corridor.
Josh was already waiting for us by the door as he talking to one of his teachers, Mr Holden.  He was a bubbly old man, who talked years of wisdom. Josh was fond of the old guy, admired him almost. He made sure Josh kept his grades impeccable and in exchange he would tell Josh all about his time teaching in France, Ireland and Australia.
“Hi mom” beamed my little man, then said a quick goodbye to the teacher who waved at me.
“How was dad’s house?” I was a bit sceptical on how the weekend went after ruby’s little breakdown.
“Awesome!” He beamed. “We had so much fun! Dad took us out for tea, went to the park and even the zoo mom. The ZOO!”.
“It would of been better if you were there” I could barely hear the whisper that was muttered by Ruby. My heart broke again after hearing her soft words. I knew they weren’t meant for my ears, so I decided not to speak up.
We headed towards the little ice cream bar that was situated between our house and the school. Even with New Yorks chilly temperature the place was still bursting with people. It took us 20 minutes for us to place our order (Ruby with a scoop of vanilla bean and sprinkles, Josh with a scoop of raspberry swirl and I deciding on a scoop of cookies and cream). We chose to eat and walk, the kids talking about the rest of the weekend and school today and I filling them in on my lonely adventures without them.
By the time we arrived home our bellies were full and the cold finally getting to us, Ruby snuggled closer into my leg as I fished into my bag to retrieve the keys.
The rest of the night was full of laughter and a light tea before both the kids and I curled up in my king size bed and dozed off.
-
The rest of the month flew by fast and before I knew it, it was already the 5th of December. Finns mood stayed placid but he didn’t speak to me or step foot into my house after I kicked him out. He’s grumpiness was obvious on his face, but I was glad the smart ass kept his usual comments to himself.
Greg had popped over several times after work when he came back from his sisters house. He only stayed one of those nights, to which I was grateful for. Our relationship sometimes felt more like a friendship and I was comfortable with that. I wasn’t ready to give my heart to someone else after a messy divorce.
If i was being honest, I wasn’t completely over my ex-husband. I probably never will be. He swept me off my feet when I was only 18, I was new to college life and Izzy convinced me that our first week should be spent drinking until our livers gave out. I being the pushover I am agreed and somehow we found ourself at a prat party.
Finn approach me and asked me to dance, and I being a typical freshman fell for his charms and instantly in love. It was just my luck that he reciprocated my feelings and for the next 12 years out life was bliss. Until it wasn’t, until he broke my heart in the worst possible way.
Joshua’s 8th birthday was tomorrow and it was my turn to have him. I hadn’t planned anything big, but I couldn’t wait to surprise him with a visit to the Rockefeller centre to go ice skating, then to travel to my parents house over in New Jersey for a family tea. He wasn’t a fussy child and the simple things in life is what made him happy. I’m glad that even though he grew up around money he doesn’t demand to be spoilt.
I was lucky to have both humble and nurtured children. Money buys power, to which their father had Alot of, and still with the world at their feet they would rather have a simple gift then an extravagant one. I guess they inherited my way of thinking, I had always told them money can’t buy love.
-
By 7am the next morning the house was alive, the birthday boy had made sure of that. His excitement for the days events were contagious and I couldn’t help by smile everytime his eyes lit up after opening one of his presents.
Blueberry waffles were still steaming hot on the counter top as I prepared the cream and chocolate sauce. It was a breakfast I disapproved of, but today was Josh’s day and he had practically begged for days on end for them. Who was I to say no? How could I even say no?
Just as I was about to call the kids to the dinning room table the door bell chimed. I looked at my watch seeing it was only 8.14am.
'Who on earth could that be?’ I thought to myself as I dusted off my hands and made my way to the door. My Mom and Step-Dad knew we were coming to their house today, same with my older brother Robert.
Izzy surely wouldn’t be out of bed this early on a Saturday morning, plus she was at a franchise meeting in LA to both her and the kids dismay. They loved their aunty Iz, who had a habit of feeding their bellies full of white chocolate muffins. Also, Chloe was meeting us at the ice skating rink with her two bubbly children. So we weren’t expecting company.
Shocked couldn’t even describe my emotion when I opened that door to see my ex-husband and his new hussy standing there on the door step.
His impeccable dark blue wash suit was tailored to perfection as aways, hair greased back leaving it slightly wet, which could also be said about my panties.
Olivia looked stunning as always, and it made me sick. Her newly short platinum blonde hair was styled into a quirky quiff, her slim figure dressed in a perfect two toned grey and white stripped knitted dress that stopped just before her knees. She added black boots, a grey coat and a beautiful necklace hung around her neck.
I internally groaned when I assessed my own attire of, black leggings I pulled from my draw and a old, baggy OASIS top which I stole off Finn in my junior year at college. It was stretched beyond belief because of the two pregnancies I endured and the neck line kept slipping off my shoulder. No doubt my hair was still a tangled mess on top of my head, actually I was a mess from head to toe and they were the perfect couple. But just to add insult to injury, I remember that I didn’t even bother to put on a bra this morning. Great, just great.
“What are you doing here?” I tried my hardest to cover up as much of my top as I could, I didn’t want to look like a desperate ex-wife still mourning the loss of her husband. But the look in his eye told me he had already noticed what top I decided to wear.
“I came to see my son on his birthday Rae. Is that alright with you?” I rolled my eyes and ignored Olivia’s snickering. I stood to the side and allowed them both to come in, as much as I wanted to slam the door in their faces I knew that Josh would want to see his dad.
The kids where currently in Josh’s room playing the Xbox game I got him, so I excused myself to notify them that their dad was here to see them.
The moment their little eyes connected with their fathers they came running down the stairs and engulfed Finn in a giant hug nearly knocking him to the ground.
Josh started talking a mile a minute explaining to Finn all the exciting things that he had gotten already. I could see Finn smile as he watched his son, causing a small ache with on my heart. These moments are the ones I missed, when we would spend time as a family.
I knew that Finn had already given Josh his present when they had seen him after school on Thursday so I was a little shocked to see him pull two small gift box’s from his coat and hand them to both the kids. I didn’t stick around to see the cute expressions they made when they opened them, it still hurt to much.
“Dad, mom cooked our favourite breakfast today! And made home made chocolate sauce” Josh spoke excitedly, “dad, are you staying for breakfast? Please, please say you are!”
Finn, Josh and Ruby looked to me expectedly as I stood awkwardly in the kitchen. I nodded my head silently and listened to the kids cheer.
“But finny, we have a plane to catch” Olivia whined. It was the first thing she had said since she arrived, and I wished she had just kept her mouth shut.
“Liv it’s a private plane! I’ll just ring the airport and delay it by an hour” Finn spoke softly, but I couldn’t help but pick up on his cool tone. Olivia continued to whine like a 3 year old about keeping to a schedule and I didn’t have time to listen. I just continued to busy myself with setting the table.
They all gathered around my mahogany 6 seater table in the dinning room. Finn and Olivia sat together on one side, and the kids, and I sat on the other. Never had I felt this awkward in my own home, between Olivia scrunching her nose up the waffles, and the kids in a in-depth conversation with Finn, I just felt alone. This wasn’t the family breakfasts I dreamt of when I was a teen. Silently, I sat there nibbling on a few bits of freshly cut fruit. Wishing I could disappear.
“Mommy?” Ruby whispered, disconnecting me from my thoughts and bringing me back to reality, not realising I zoned out.
“Yeah baby” I cooed stroking her soft light brown hair smiling.
“Why is Olivia here?” I turned to my daughter and leaned closer to her.
“Ugh- well sweety. She is your daddy’s girlfriend and she wants to see you guys. It’s Josh’s birthday and he’s extremely happy having them here. Why do you ask?”.
“She doesn’t like us very much” Ruby muttered, ��she always says we get in the way”.
I focused on my breathing, reminding myself that today was Josh’s day and I couldn’t ruin it by jumping over the table and strangling the bitch to death.
“Like I said sweetie your going to have to talk to your dad about that”.
“Talk to me about what?” We swung our heads towards Finn not realising that our conversation was being heard. I felt ruby’s small hands latch onto mine in a death grip.
“Well… Umm… I think it’s something you and Ruby should talk about that- in private” I explained sending a small smile to Ruby.
“And why is that?” Olivia butted in. I could see the annoyance etched on her face.
“Because it’s a private matter between him and his daughter that’s why” I narrowed my eyes on the witch, but kept my voice light. She had no right to butt in on this conversation.
“Oh please save me the sob story. You just want to spin lies to my Finn don’t you!” Olivia spat. Her words echo in my head over and over again. Her Finn. I felt my heart break all over again.
“I would never, ever do that! You have no ri-”.
“Enough!” Finn bellowed, his face tinted red in anger.
“Olivia, I’ll meet you in the car” Finn hissed, ignoring her complaints. She huffed and stormed off; slamming the front door behind her.
“Kids do you think I can talk to your mom for a minute?” They both nodded and went back up into room after I kissed them on their heads.
“What exactly was that about Rae!” I cringed at his toned. He leant over the table, his eyes boaring into mine. I looked away deciding the left over fruit on my plate looked particularly interesting.
“I think you need to speak with Ruby, Finn. I’ve told her too, but she is too scared” I sighed, “and that is what I tried to explain to your girlfriend”.
“I’ll deal with Olivia later Rae, don’t bring her up”.
“Why did you have to bring her here! To my house! I understand you wanting to see Josh but you know how we feel about each other. And you still-” Finn abruptly got up from his chair and walked around the table until he was standing right next to me. Yanking me by my arm lightly, Finn dragged me to my feet.
“You left me remember! You packed your shit and left with my fucking kids in the middle of my business trip. So don’t you dare go there!” He hissed causing me to flinch back.
“You were so heart broken that you moved Olivia in 6 months later” I scoffed, “you know what just leave please. This is Josh’s day! And I don’t want it ruined by a silly little argument. So please just go say goodbye and hop on that plane of yours and go… your good at that” I barely whispered the last words before I fled.
Out of all the deceitful things Finn had done to me in the 2 years since our divorce, this took the cake. I could deal with his hateful words, but for him to bring her into my home… That was unacceptable. To let her talk to me like that in front of our children. I was done.
There was no use hiding my tears in the bathroom I barricaded myself in. I needed to get this pitty party over with, because today wasn’t the day for a mental break down.
'Why wasn’t I good enough Finn?’
——–
@mmfdfanfic @lily-pop-2 @eveerez @i-dream-of-emus @I88cym - Im sorry I tried everything to try and tag you but it won’t work.
———–
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247krp · 7 years ago
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— Rejoice, little lambs! We have recovered our own Jackson Wang, spotted prancing about in the Southwest Side. I don’t remember seeing him with any clique back in high school, but I’m not here to spill yesterday’s tea. So straight to the rundown: can you say wild and secretive? Apparently now he spends time as a model at Pan Modelling Agency and the owner of his own fencing studio, and keeps skeletons buried at Prague Tower, 502. But those won’t stay hidden for long, if you and I have any say on it. Welcome back, King Puppy; we missed you so.
In case you don’t remember the devil’s name, here’s to refresh your memory:
If Cheongnam High School ever had a brawns over brains it was Wang Jackson. He came in like a tempest, causing chaos and leaving a huge impression, both negative and positive. He was accepted into the school on an outstanding athletic transfer and was the shiny new toy that most of the cliques kept an eye on in hopes of snaring him as another of their minions. What none of them had anticipated was the cute new jock actually being having an entirely hidden side to him, one that was calculating and quite manipulating. He took on Cheongnam High School with a plan, the goofy smile that marked his happy-go lucky persona never seemed to leave his face. He became the kid that circled around the cliques, getting to know them well enough before migrating to another one gaining connections. There were two popular opinions about this crowd hopper. Either you found him charismatic, easy to get along to and a compassionate soul that you’d worry about in the real world or you found him obnoxious, indecisive and a general mess, but not enough to downright despise the guy. Gossip girl was able to dig out a couple juicy rumors from the bare skeleton of drama he created. The first had been about Jackson’s sexuality, but after shrugging off the accusations he was once again back to being the campus’ wild puppy that you either adored or were itching to put in the pound. The second and last rumor Gossip Girl had spread around about him was about him swindling the grand companies of the spoiled little rich kids around through hacking. At first he was faced with hostility and suspicion, there was also plenty who laughed at the exclamation. The kid who couldn’t write hangul to save his life? And most agreed. Unless he had a partner of course, but with the lack of concrete evidence that rumor was once again subsided until it vanished under the scandal of the glittering elites.
Nevermind the memory lane though, the present is always the ripest fruit:
Now everyone’s favorite Wang puppy is back in town, a full time model at Pan Modelling agency and entrepreneur of his own fencing studio “Team Wang”. The goofy smile that once constantly marred his face is now replaced by the gentle smile of a serious, hardworking young man. How nice, now if only anyone could figure out how he got there. Did his connections from high school really come in handy or did some help beyond the law get him there? Jackson has become a professional, retaining his charismatic trait, but in a much calmer state. People who have never met him before are astounded by his extroverted nature, but those who knew him in high school would wonder why he’s become so watered down. He’s no longer group hopping and instead has found a group of his own, ones that he either pays at his studio or the fellow models and stylists that he works with daily. It seems that a hint of his true nature was also revealed with him only keeping contact with the few that he finds inflectional or that he truly got to know and befriend. He’s no longer the Wang Jackson who makes foolish choices for attention, instead he’s a familiar face on magazines that has the paparazzi feeding right out of his hand.
But we are nothing if not open books – my job is to ensure you get to the best pages:
Jackson grew up in Hong Kong with his mother, father and elder brother; a family of middle class national level coaches and athletes. His childhood was filled with love and fond memories. As a child there was never a moment he doubted his parent’s affections for him, he would even admit that he was spoiled. His elder brother on the other hand was the one that was always firm with him unlike their parents. This became more obvious as Jackson aged into a young teenager, the sudden amount of testosterone causing his emotions to run rampant. His parents still let him get away with everything, showering him with gifts and never once lecturing him. Instead of it being reassureing, Jackson began to feel frustrated, he’d watch his father scold his elder brother and hold him up to expectation. He’d watch his parent’s face glow when his elder brother came home with straight A’s where as they were happy with whatever he made. He would listen to his mother argue with his brother in worry over his future where as she would tell Jackson to become whatever he wished. Jackson felt the selfish need to have that kind of attention rather than feeling like a spoiled guest in his own home. When his older brother, the only one who he felt truly understood him left home and moved across the entire planet his life suddenly became suffocating. He began avoiding his parents and spent most of his time practicing fencing or working out; he tried everything and anything to stay out of the house.
One day his elder brother contacted him about a friend that lived in Seoul and was offering a place of solace for Jackson. When he brought it up with his parents, for the first time in his life they refused him. Thus solidifying his decision even further to move out and apply to elite institutes in South Korea. After being accepted in Cheongnam High School and moving to South Korea, Jackson felt the need to cause further trouble. He skipped classes despite studying the material, so that his father would receive notices. He stayed out late and the in the dangerous parts of Seoul, so his brother’s friend would report back to his family. He knew he was acting like an attention seeking brat, but he finally felt like a part of the family every time he picked the phone to his father’s harsh scolding or his mother’s nagging. He realized that the physical distance between them had brought them closer in relation and decided that he’d stay his entire High School years in South Korea and make plans to permanently stay in the future.
He began running with the mafia as an informant by befriending the elites in his school, going to parties with them and watch as they get wasted while spilling their family’s secrets. Eventually through his connections he met an infamous hacker who promised him 40% of their income as his front man. As a high schooler, he knew that was the best bet he was going to get, so he took him up on his offer. He’d visit corporations with cliques in his school and while hanging out he’d often find ways for the hacker to get into the server. It was through this partnership that he was able to save up enough money after graduation to not only buy his parent’s a house, but after start a fencing studio of his own. While teaching at his studio, he met a scout from Pan Modelling Agency and become their Chinese ambassador. After the successful startup of his fencing studio, Jackson moved to Korea to continue his modelling career and look into opening a second studio in Seoul.
After becoming a well-known model Jackson was often attending events and fundraisers. Recently he was at a fundraiser for blood donations when he discovered something about himself and his family. He felt a numb coldness grasp his heart as he realized that his blood type wasn’t compatible with anyone in his family. Suddenly all those years of pampering and spoiling made sense. It had always seemed like his parents were apologizing to him, pitying him even. He had brushed it aside assuming it was feelings that accompanied his complex. After hiring a private investigator he discovered that his worst fear was true and that he was indeed adopted. He wasn’t his mother and father’s son and his brother wasn’t even his real brother. Soon after the discovery he fell into suicidal depression and one day after he felt himself contemplating how it would feel falling from his balcony he drove himself to the psychologist who diagnosed him and gave him anti-depressants in hopes of helping his symptoms. He has still yet to tell his family that he knows and has been ignoring their phone calls and texts. Right now he’s burying himself in his work and trying to find something to fill the void that opened up in his heart.  
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apsbicepstraining · 7 years ago
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From dream to nightmare: when your seman donor has secrets
Having a baby by sperm donation is an intensely personal and psychological process. So what happens when you discover that interested donors has a genetic health ill?
Sperm donor 9623 looked good on paper. An IQ of 160. A bachelors degree in neuroscience, a masters in artificial intelligence, en route to a PhD in neuroscience engineering. A passion for crystallography, algorithms and fitness. Ontario couple Elizabeth Hanson and Angela Collins thought they had observed the perfect father for their baby.
Seven times after their son was born, Collins and Hanson discovered that donor 9623 was a college dropout with schizophrenia, a egocentric personality disorder and a criminal record. He had wasted eight months in prison for burglary, and 10 years on probation.
The sperm bank had inadvertently included the donors appoint, Christian Aggeles, in an email to the couple. A Google search did the remain. His stepfather had vouched in tribunal that Aggeless psychopathic chapters began age-old 19, well before he started donating in Georgia. Aggeless sperm led to the birth of at least 36 children worldwide.
It was like a dream changed nightmare in an point, said Collins. The couple, alongside at least three other categories, have registered lawsuits against the Georgia-based sperm bank, Xytex Corporation, which too gave sperm to British duets. Xytex disclaims wrongdoing.
Such specimen are not unique. Like Collins, Hanson and their son, numerous categories and individuals are now to access to words with vital information that their donors withheld.
The forks of such breakthroughs can be immense. The most important entity to me is[ my son] potentially facing a very debilitating life-style, Collins says. I felt like I was defrauded by Xytex and I flunked my son for having selected Xytex. In hindsight, a hitchhiker on the side of the road would have been a far more responsible option for imagining a child.
Families have registered lawsuits against the Georgia-based seman bank, Xytex Corporation. Photograph: David Goldman/ AP
What level of danger do Aggeless genes award? The building of mental health illness is complex. The genetic ingredient of schizophrenia, explains Professor Cathryn Lewis, prof of genetic epidemiology and statistics at Kings College London, is not a single gene, but is combined across many genes. There are likely to be thousands of acquired discrepancies that hold threat of schizophrenia. Each change slightly increases or decreases our danger, but nothing of them alone will enable us to predict whether someone is likely to develop schizophrenia.
Even stimulating brand-new findings in the C4 gene ask careful version. Its a single piece in a large genetic jigsaw riddle, Lewis says. Measuring one gene tells us anything about private individuals risk of developing schizophrenia.
Mental health conditions also show a mixture of interacting environment and social causes. Not to mention that many parties with schizophrenia respond to treatment and live full, productive lives.
Donor anonymity was abolished in the UK in 2005. Donor-conceived offspring are now legally entitled, at the age of 18, to information on their donors identity. However, this was not retrospectively exerted: those thoughts before April 2005( thats 21,000 people born between 1991 and 2004 alone) cannot identify their donor unless interested donors gradations forward voluntarily. Some are never even told they were donor-conceived in the first place.
Tyler Blackwell discovered as a teen in Maryland that he has 35 half-siblings. His second amaze: having the same condition that his donor parent, John( not his real refer) has not been able to divulged. Johns sister discovered the Blackwells through a family pedigree place. It transpired that John, who had not replied to their communication, had an aortic aneurysm, which had severed at persons under the age of 43. He had endured. At least three other family members were similarly altered. Tyler accompanied a cardiologist as a precaution, was diagnosed with an aneurysm and underwent surgery. Without an operation on an aneurysm of this type, the mortality rate from severance is up to 97%. When sever appears, patients typically die within six hours. There is no one who knew about it, said his mother of the sperm bank committed. If I could foretell the future, I would have picked a different donor.
Financial incentives could underlie some instances of deception. However, the UKs Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority ( HFEA ) specifies the limit for sperm donors at 35 per clinic visit and egg donors at 750 per repetition of donation, plus expenses. These restrictions, it territory, aim to reward altruism and prevent coercion. Rules vary internationally. One California cryobank recoups your time and expenditures with compensation of up to $1,500/ month with regular motivations such as movie tickets or endow certificates for additional era and try expended by participants.
Danish semen donor 7042 unwittingly passed on neurofibromatosis to at least 11 of “their childrens”, after his seman was used in clinics across the US, Canada, Belgium, Greece, Spain, Thailand and the UK. Neurofibromatosis is consistent with brain and nerve tumors, bone deformities, visual disorder, blood pressure and read rigors. Offspring have a 50% gamble of acquiring it. Denmark has since mandated that donor sperm can be used in a maximum of 12 inseminations. In the UK , no more than 10 categories can be created using egg or seman from a single donor. Donated eggs are not risk-free, but sperm donors frequently have more offspring who are in a position pass on acquired plights to the next generation.
There is no such situation as reproduction without peril. Here i am, however, an ethical responsibility towards the child to be seen and their hopeful mothers. If a donor develops a genetic precondition years after donation, “were not receiving” arrangement at present that enforces disclosure.
Donors now must experiment negative for HIV, hepatitis B and C, and syphilis, with farther screening be a primary consideration in ethnicity such as cystic fibrosis in those of Caucasian swoop and sickle-cell sicknes in African and Afro-Caribbean populations. Guidelines state that potential donors should be assessed for positions with a genetic constituent cleft palate, spina bifida, congenital mettle malformations, psychosis and others but that decisions on eligibility should be individualised.
These screening regulations do not ever apply to the unknown number of UK citizens who travel abroad to find donors, implement unlicensed clinics or buy home-insemination kits online. Although mental evaluation is required by most international authorities, this will not table donors who have not yet developed indications of a serious mental health issues disease. For them, the diagnostic implement is time.
Genetic screening is more affordable and thorough than ever before. So, should be used turn away from the donors account and towards the laboratory? Allan Pacey, prof of andrology at the University of Sheffield, is leery. I thoughts the perfect genome probably doesnt prevail, so its actually a question of where the line should be drawn. Merely about 4% of all those who come forward to be seman donors are abode. If we were to impose a whole new prepare of exclusion criteria based on theoretical hazards, it is possible there wont be any sperm donors at all.
Frozen sperm stored in a sperm bank. Picture: monkeybusinessimages/ Getty Images/ iStockphoto
With intensified screening, donors might be diagnosed with genetic positions that would have remained undiscovered for ever, or are untreatable. Perhaps there is an statement for not knowing.
Kevin, who works in photography in London, is not only a donor-conceived being but a donor himself. He is therefore of the opinion that prospective parents should know as much as possible about interested donors medical record. But there is a stage where you have to draw the line, and say were no longer forming decorator children here, he adds.
He understands the distress of Elizabeth Hanson and Angela Collins, hitherto worries about speaking too much into particular case. Its a disgrace if beings make it overshadow the industry and take it to be some sort of wide-reaching corruption. It is one narration. Every era there are lots of children being born to duets who have fertility both problems and thats much more important to remember.
Eleven offspring have been born from his gifts. Why did he donate? I wouldnt be here if someone hadnt donated. Someone did that and thats why I am here.
Jess Cresswell detected aged 28 that she was donor-conceived. Seven years later, she still does not know who her biological father is, but find her mothers imparted her the best life they could. Since some of her own family medical record is missing, how does she feel about donor screening?
I think they should be screened but I also think that, just because they have some sort of hereditary condition, they shouldnt inevitably be excluded. Its the parents discretion; some people would rather have a child knowing theres a risk of picking something up than not, if that was their only option.
It is now easier than ever for donor-conceived parties to find their genetic pedigree. The US Donor Sibling Registry has helped connect more than 10,900 people with their half-siblings and/ or their donors. Nearly 70% of those who sign up match with a biological relative, and nearly 80% of this group competitor instantaneously. The UK has a Donor Sibling Link website.
Direct-to-consumer genetic tests have revolutionised this opening. In 2005, a 15 -year-old mailed a saliva sample to an on-line service, had his genetic code uploaded, applied a tracking website and met his biological father 10 days later. Kevin spotted a half-sister through a donor-sibling registry and two half-siblings through parentage places. He afterward unwittingly discovered some of his donors items. Two hours on, Google disclosed his donors appoint. The two have since stayed in contact.
One last concept: Aggeles received mental health medicine and picked up a degree in cognitive discipline two decades after he first registered at university. He is now working on a masters in artificial intelligence.
The post From dream to nightmare: when your seman donor has secrets appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.
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templepurohit · 6 years ago
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Somvar Vrat or Monday fast is practiced to propitiate Lord Shiva. Bhagvan Shiva is also recognized with names like Mahadev, Shankar, Umapati, Rudra, BholeNath, Bhole Bhandari, and so on. Mahadev is the supreme Lord for Hindus. Millions of Hindus admire this Lord from the depth of their hearts with extreme devotion. Every Monday a massive crowd of devotees is noticed in shrine or temples of Mahadev, because Monday is very dear to Mahadev. The Panchakshara Mantra “Om Namah Shivaya” is repeated on this day in the name of Lord Shiva. People who are facing obstacles in their married life or facing delays in marriage can observe the Monday fast. Fasting on Mondays is also beneficial for accomplishing the wish of getting a desired partner. There are three types of Somvar Vrat and the Vrat Katha associated with them are : Somvar Vrat Once there lived a wealthy merchant in a city. He always had immense wealth and prosperity. However, despite all the worldly possessions, he remained sad because he had no son. He regularly observed Monday fast to have a son. He went to the Shiva temple and worshipped Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati there with full faith. Goddess Parvati was extremely pleased with his devotion and implored Lord Shiva saying, “My Lord, this wealthy merchant is your faithful devotee. He regularly observes Monday fast but still he has no son. Please fulfil his desire.” Hearing the implorings of Parvati, Lord Shiva said, “Let your desire be fulfilled. I grant him a boon. He will be the father of a son, but he will live for twelve years only”. Fortunately, this wealthy merchant could hear their conversation. As time passed on, the merchants wife gave birth to a beautiful son. He celebrated his sons birth with great pomp and show and distributed food, clothes and money among the poor. All prayed for his sons long and happy life. But the merchant was still sad because he knew that his son would not live beyond twelve years and that Yama, the god of Death, spares none. Knowing what the situation was, the merchant started observing the Monday fast with greater zest but there was no let up in the worship of Lord Shiva. At the age of eleven, the merchants son looked quite smart and mature. All desired that he should be married to a beautiful girl. The merchant’s wife also wanted her sons marriage. She insisted for it again and again but the merchant did not agree to this proposal. He sent for his brother-In-law and said, “Accompany my son to Kashi. Arrange for his best spiritual knowledge. Take enough money from my treasure. Arrange devotional gatherings on your way to Kashi at every halt and distribute alms among the Somvar Vrat Kathabeggars.” The merchant’s son started his journey for Kashi with his maternal uncle. They arranged devotional gatherings and distributed clothes at every halting camp. They also arranged best eats for the Brahmans and made enough offerings to them. One day they made a halt at a capital of a king. The marriage of the King’s daughter was to take place that day. The marriage party had already reached the city. The bridegroom’s party was terribly disturbed because the bridegroom was blind, of one eye. They were in search of a beautiful boy to replace him. The bridegroom’s father sent his men in search of a beautiful boy. The men spotted the merchant’s son who was camping in an inn with his maternal uncle. The bridegroom’s father was a rich person. He said to the boy’s maternal uncle, “My prestige is at stake. I need a handsome bridegroom in place of my one-eyed son. I shall give enough wealth if your ward agrees to have a temporary marriage with the kings daughter. He shall be free immediately after the marriage ceremony is over.” The merchant’s brother-in-law convinced the boy for a temporary marriage. The bride’s party praised their luck when they saw a handsome bridegroom with the marching band at the head of the marriage procession. The merchant’s son and the kings daughter were, thus, married around the holy fire. At the time of departure, the merchant’s son picked his brides scarf and wrote, “Now we are husband and wife. I am not the son of a king. I am the son of a rich merchant. I was on way to Kashi for spiritual studies. Your real bridegroom is blind on one eye.” The bride noticed her bridegroom writing something on the scarf. She could not read his message at that time. When the marriage party was about to depart, the bride read the message. She was shocked to know the reality. She refused to accompany with the one-eyed bridegroom. The marriage party returned without a bride. The boy reached Kashiji and devoted himself fully to spiritual studies. His maternal uncle arranged devotional gatherings in the name of Lord Shiva and gave donations everyday for the well-being of his sister’s son. On the last day of the twelfth year, the merchant’s son felt pain in the chest. His maternal uncle was performing the religious rites as per his routine. As he went inside the room, he found the boy dead. He was full of grief, but kept silent as the Brahmans would not accept food from such a house. With courage, he completed his routine. When his routine was over, he started crying. Many people gathered around him and shared his grief. Fortunately, Lord Shiva and Parvati were also passing by that house. When Parvati heard the cries, her motherly compassion got aroused. She was a mother, after all. Having known the facts, she said to Lord Shiva, “My dear Sire, please ask Yama to return his life. Yama is always at your command. Please do this favour to me. You are the protector of all creatures.” Lord Shiva agreed to this because of the family’s devotion towards him and sprinkled water from the holy river Ganga on the dead body. The boy got up as if he was making an excuse for sleep. The spiritual education of the merchant’s son was over. They started their journey homeward. They arranged spiritual discourses and distributed aims among the needy throughout their way. Now, they were back in the city where this boy was married. The king recognized the boy immediately. He took him to his palace with full honor and on an auspicious day, he arranged to happy departure for his daughter. He also gave adequate dowry. The merchant’s son reached his city along with his bride. His father could not believe it. He was sitting on the roof of a big mansion with his wife, waiting for his son. They had decided that they would not come down until their son supported them himself; otherwise they would commit suicide. Therefore, finding him alive, his parents were glad and thanked Mahadev. Som Pradosh Vrat ‘Pradosh’ means ‘the dusk of the early night’ or ‘evening tide’. This fast is observed in the evening twilight, and so it is called Pradosh Vrat. It is observed on the 13th day of each lunar fortnight. It is practiced to propitiate Lord Shiva, in order to obtain his blessings and boons leading to fulfillment of one’s cherished desired and spiritual upliftment.Those who practice it with unflinching faith and devotion are bound to possess wealth, health, happiness. Solah Somvar Vrat – 16 weeks Monday fast Once Lord Shiva visited the famous city of Amravati. Parvati also accompanied him. On their way, they saw a beautiful Shiva temple and decided to spend some time there. One day, Parvati found Lord Shiva in a playful mood. She said to him, Oh my Lord, let us have a dice game. Lord Shiva obliged her and the game started. Meanwhile, the priest of the temple had come there. Parvati turned towards him and said Please foretell who will win this game? The Brahman gave no serious thought to her question and abruptly said, Lord Shiva will win the game. Incidentally Parvati won the game. She was angry because the Brahman had told a lie. Lord Shiva tried to pacify her, but she cursed the Brahman that he be a leper. In due course, the Brahman became a leper and spent a miserable life. After some time a few fairies descended on the earth and pitied the fate of the priest. On asking him, the priest narrated the whole episode. One of the fairies said, “You observe Monday fasts for sixteen weeks without break. On the seventeenth Monday, prepare some holy food or Prasad with flour mixed with ghee and gur. Distribute this prasaad among the members of your family and take some yourself. You will be free from this leprosy.” The fairies disappeared and the priest followed the instructions. Soon, he regained his normal health. Once Lord Shiva and Parvati again visited that temple. Parvati was surprised to see the priest. He was his normal self. She enquired about this feat and the priest narrated the whole story. Parvati was happy, she also decided to observe Monday fasts for sixteen weeks. Incidentally, on the seventeenth Monday, when she broke her fast, her beloved son Lord Kartikeya, who was displeased with her, appeared and said, “Oh dear mother what is that power with which you have called me? What is the mystery?” Parvati said, “Oh my dear son, all this miracle is due to observing Monday fasts for sixteen weeks without interruption.” Kartikeya’s Brahman friend had been in a foreign land for quite some time. Kartikeya said, “I shall observe Monday fasts for sixteen weeks for happy reunion with my friend.” He, then, observed the 16 weeks fasts as per rules and to his great surprise, his friend returned hale and hearty.Solah Somvar Vrat Katha The friend enquired about the miracle and Lord Kartikeya told him the modalities to be observed for Monday fast. The Brahman friend was very curious about his marriage. He decided to observe the Monday fasts for sixteen weeks. On the seventeenth Monday, the Brahman friend went to a city. The ruler of the city decided to marry his daughter to a person on whose neck his well-decorated elephant would put the garland. The Brahman joined the show. Incidentally, the elephant garlanded him. The ruler of the city gave him his daughter and also a lot of money. The couple departed the next day and were back in their home. On the honeymoon night, the bride said, “Oh my dear, how is it that the elephant ignored all the princes and garlanded you? How did you succeed on the auspicious moments?” The bridegroom said, “I observed fasts on sixteen Mondays. Monday is Lord Shiva’s day. It is due to his blessings that I got a beautiful wife like you. My friend Kartikeya revealed this secret to me.” The bride too decided to observe fasts on sixteen Mondays for a beautiful son full of knowledge. Her devotion bore fruit and she gave birth to a beautiful son. As the son grew up, he said to his mother, “Oh my dear mother, what is the mystery behind my birth? Please reveal it to me.” The mother told him how she observed Monday fasts. The son also decided to observe the fasts to gain a kingdom for his parents. Incidentally, an old kings messengers from a nearby State came there in search of a beautiful and learned bridegroom for the princess. They proposed the princess hand for him and he readily agreed. The king expired after sometime and the boy became the king. The newly-made king continued his fasts for the next sixteen Mondays. On the seventeenth Monday, he arranged a large prayer party at a temple. All the arrangements were made well in advance. The king requested the queen to accompany him to the temple for breaking the fast after taking pras ad from the priest. The queen refused to go with him. The king had to go alone. The king heard an oracle who echoed, “Oh king, turn out the queen from the palace or destruction will fall upon you.” The king returned to his palace. He summoned a conference of his ministers and told about the oracle. All of them were taken aback, as it was due to that princess that he became the king of the state. They agreed to his proposal only with a heavy heart. The queen was ultimately turned out. The queen left the palace bare footed and in worn-out clothes. She was thirsty and fatigued. She met an old lady who had a load of spinned spindles on her head. She was going to the city. She felt pity on her and asked to help her in selling the yarn because she did not know the art of selling. The queen took that load on her head. Incidentally, strong wind blew away the spindles which disappeared in the dusty wind. The queen felt sorry and the old lady asked her to go away. The queen went to an oilman’s house and sought shelter. The oilman obliged her, but as she stepped in, all of his oil pots developed cracks and the oil began to flow on the ground. The oilman immediately turned her out. The queen was now disheartened. She went to the bank of a river to quench her thirst. As she touched the water, the water dried up. She then went to a deep jungle and saw a tank of water. As she went down the stairs and touched the crystal dear water, it became muddy. She cursed her fate and put a few drops of the muddy water in her mouth. She was now tired and wanted to take rest under a shady tree. As she went near the tree its leaves began to fall and soon it became leafless. The cowherds saw this incident and told the whole story to the priest of a nearby temple. The priest called for the woman. He was surprised to see that the woman had royal features. He consoled her and provided her with all the facilities. But after some days, he also got fed up with her because whatever the woman touched became impure, may it be milk, food or water. One day, the priest said, “Oh lady, what curse has fallen upon you? You reveal the mystery.” The woman told him how she rejected a proposal to attend Monday fast prayer. The priest understood the whole thing. He knew it was Shiva’s curse. He said, “Oh dear lady, you observe fasts on sixteen Mondays and Lord Shiva will absolve you of your sins.” The woman realised her mistake and observed the Monday fasts for sixteen Mondays. On the seventeenth Monday, the king said to himself, “My queen left my palace long ago. Her condition must be very miserable.” He called for his courtiers and ordered them to search out the queen. The courtiers reached the temple where the queen was residing. The priest refused to hand over the queen to them and said, “Let the king himself come to receive her.” The courtiers went to the king and related the whole story. The king was happy to hear the news. He went to the temple and requested the priest to return his queen to him. The king admitted that he deserted the queen to avoid Lord Shiva’s wrath. The priest trusted the kings words and the queen returned to the palace. She was given a royal welcome. The king distributed money among the needy and arranged food for the hungry. The king and queen now regularly observed fasts on sixteen Mondays each year and lived a very happy life. After their death they found abode in Lord Shivas city, Shivapuri. Since, then it is believed that a person who observes fasts on sixteen Mondays, gets all pleasures and enters Shivapuri after his death. Most devotees also observe fast during four or five Mondays of Shravan month. It is believed that worshiping Lord Shiva during Shravan month is very auspicious and observing Monday fast and reciting SolahSomvarVrat Katha during Shravan month can make Lord Shiva happy for sure. This is because Shravan month is deeply dear to Mahadev as it is believed that Goddess Parvati deeply wanted to marry to Lord Shiva, and thus she did solah somvar vrat with immense devotion to get Mahadev. Solah Somvar Vrat Timing It is believed that Monday fasting would be very fruitful if started from the first Monday of Shukla Paksh of Shravan month (June-July). Four or five Monday fasting can be done in a go. And as per willingness the person can continue this fast till 16 weeks of Monday starting from Shukla Paksh (waxing period of moon) of Shravan month. However, simple Monday fast can also be started from first Monday of Shukla Paksha of Hindi Months – Chaitra, Baisakh, Kartik and Margsheersh. https://ift.tt/2N1f7qi
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apsbicepstraining · 7 years ago
Text
From dream to nightmare: when your seman donor has secrets
Having a baby by sperm donation is an intensely personal and psychological process. So what happens when you discover that interested donors has a genetic health ill?
Sperm donor 9623 looked good on paper. An IQ of 160. A bachelors degree in neuroscience, a masters in artificial intelligence, en route to a PhD in neuroscience engineering. A passion for crystallography, algorithms and fitness. Ontario couple Elizabeth Hanson and Angela Collins thought they had observed the perfect father for their baby.
Seven times after their son was born, Collins and Hanson discovered that donor 9623 was a college dropout with schizophrenia, a egocentric personality disorder and a criminal record. He had wasted eight months in prison for burglary, and 10 years on probation.
The sperm bank had inadvertently included the donors appoint, Christian Aggeles, in an email to the couple. A Google search did the remain. His stepfather had vouched in tribunal that Aggeless psychopathic chapters began age-old 19, well before he started donating in Georgia. Aggeless sperm led to the birth of at least 36 children worldwide.
It was like a dream changed nightmare in an point, said Collins. The couple, alongside at least three other categories, have registered lawsuits against the Georgia-based sperm bank, Xytex Corporation, which too gave sperm to British duets. Xytex disclaims wrongdoing.
Such specimen are not unique. Like Collins, Hanson and their son, numerous categories and individuals are now to access to words with vital information that their donors withheld.
The forks of such breakthroughs can be immense. The most important entity to me is[ my son] potentially facing a very debilitating life-style, Collins says. I felt like I was defrauded by Xytex and I flunked my son for having selected Xytex. In hindsight, a hitchhiker on the side of the road would have been a far more responsible option for imagining a child.
Families have registered lawsuits against the Georgia-based seman bank, Xytex Corporation. Photograph: David Goldman/ AP
What level of danger do Aggeless genes award? The building of mental health illness is complex. The genetic ingredient of schizophrenia, explains Professor Cathryn Lewis, prof of genetic epidemiology and statistics at Kings College London, is not a single gene, but is combined across many genes. There are likely to be thousands of acquired discrepancies that hold threat of schizophrenia. Each change slightly increases or decreases our danger, but nothing of them alone will enable us to predict whether someone is likely to develop schizophrenia.
Even stimulating brand-new findings in the C4 gene ask careful version. Its a single piece in a large genetic jigsaw riddle, Lewis says. Measuring one gene tells us anything about private individuals risk of developing schizophrenia.
Mental health conditions also show a mixture of interacting environment and social causes. Not to mention that many parties with schizophrenia respond to treatment and live full, productive lives.
Donor anonymity was abolished in the UK in 2005. Donor-conceived offspring are now legally entitled, at the age of 18, to information on their donors identity. However, this was not retrospectively exerted: those thoughts before April 2005( thats 21,000 people born between 1991 and 2004 alone) cannot identify their donor unless interested donors gradations forward voluntarily. Some are never even told they were donor-conceived in the first place.
Tyler Blackwell discovered as a teen in Maryland that he has 35 half-siblings. His second amaze: having the same condition that his donor parent, John( not his real refer) has not been able to divulged. Johns sister discovered the Blackwells through a family pedigree place. It transpired that John, who had not replied to their communication, had an aortic aneurysm, which had severed at persons under the age of 43. He had endured. At least three other family members were similarly altered. Tyler accompanied a cardiologist as a precaution, was diagnosed with an aneurysm and underwent surgery. Without an operation on an aneurysm of this type, the mortality rate from severance is up to 97%. When sever appears, patients typically die within six hours. There is no one who knew about it, said his mother of the sperm bank committed. If I could foretell the future, I would have picked a different donor.
Financial incentives could underlie some instances of deception. However, the UKs Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority ( HFEA ) specifies the limit for sperm donors at 35 per clinic visit and egg donors at 750 per repetition of donation, plus expenses. These restrictions, it territory, aim to reward altruism and prevent coercion. Rules vary internationally. One California cryobank recoups your time and expenditures with compensation of up to $1,500/ month with regular motivations such as movie tickets or endow certificates for additional era and try expended by participants.
Danish semen donor 7042 unwittingly passed on neurofibromatosis to at least 11 of “their childrens”, after his seman was used in clinics across the US, Canada, Belgium, Greece, Spain, Thailand and the UK. Neurofibromatosis is consistent with brain and nerve tumors, bone deformities, visual disorder, blood pressure and read rigors. Offspring have a 50% gamble of acquiring it. Denmark has since mandated that donor sperm can be used in a maximum of 12 inseminations. In the UK , no more than 10 categories can be created using egg or seman from a single donor. Donated eggs are not risk-free, but sperm donors frequently have more offspring who are in a position pass on acquired plights to the next generation.
There is no such situation as reproduction without peril. Here i am, however, an ethical responsibility towards the child to be seen and their hopeful mothers. If a donor develops a genetic precondition years after donation, “were not receiving” arrangement at present that enforces disclosure.
Donors now must experiment negative for HIV, hepatitis B and C, and syphilis, with farther screening be a primary consideration in ethnicity such as cystic fibrosis in those of Caucasian swoop and sickle-cell sicknes in African and Afro-Caribbean populations. Guidelines state that potential donors should be assessed for positions with a genetic constituent cleft palate, spina bifida, congenital mettle malformations, psychosis and others but that decisions on eligibility should be individualised.
These screening regulations do not ever apply to the unknown number of UK citizens who travel abroad to find donors, implement unlicensed clinics or buy home-insemination kits online. Although mental evaluation is required by most international authorities, this will not table donors who have not yet developed indications of a serious mental health issues disease. For them, the diagnostic implement is time.
Genetic screening is more affordable and thorough than ever before. So, should be used turn away from the donors account and towards the laboratory? Allan Pacey, prof of andrology at the University of Sheffield, is leery. I thoughts the perfect genome probably doesnt prevail, so its actually a question of where the line should be drawn. Merely about 4% of all those who come forward to be seman donors are abode. If we were to impose a whole new prepare of exclusion criteria based on theoretical hazards, it is possible there wont be any sperm donors at all.
Frozen sperm stored in a sperm bank. Picture: monkeybusinessimages/ Getty Images/ iStockphoto
With intensified screening, donors might be diagnosed with genetic positions that would have remained undiscovered for ever, or are untreatable. Perhaps there is an statement for not knowing.
Kevin, who works in photography in London, is not only a donor-conceived being but a donor himself. He is therefore of the opinion that prospective parents should know as much as possible about interested donors medical record. But there is a stage where you have to draw the line, and say were no longer forming decorator children here, he adds.
He understands the distress of Elizabeth Hanson and Angela Collins, hitherto worries about speaking too much into particular case. Its a disgrace if beings make it overshadow the industry and take it to be some sort of wide-reaching corruption. It is one narration. Every era there are lots of children being born to duets who have fertility both problems and thats much more important to remember.
Eleven offspring have been born from his gifts. Why did he donate? I wouldnt be here if someone hadnt donated. Someone did that and thats why I am here.
Jess Cresswell detected aged 28 that she was donor-conceived. Seven years later, she still does not know who her biological father is, but find her mothers imparted her the best life they could. Since some of her own family medical record is missing, how does she feel about donor screening?
I think they should be screened but I also think that, just because they have some sort of hereditary condition, they shouldnt inevitably be excluded. Its the parents discretion; some people would rather have a child knowing theres a risk of picking something up than not, if that was their only option.
It is now easier than ever for donor-conceived parties to find their genetic pedigree. The US Donor Sibling Registry has helped connect more than 10,900 people with their half-siblings and/ or their donors. Nearly 70% of those who sign up match with a biological relative, and nearly 80% of this group competitor instantaneously. The UK has a Donor Sibling Link website.
Direct-to-consumer genetic tests have revolutionised this opening. In 2005, a 15 -year-old mailed a saliva sample to an on-line service, had his genetic code uploaded, applied a tracking website and met his biological father 10 days later. Kevin spotted a half-sister through a donor-sibling registry and two half-siblings through parentage places. He afterward unwittingly discovered some of his donors items. Two hours on, Google disclosed his donors appoint. The two have since stayed in contact.
One last concept: Aggeles received mental health medicine and picked up a degree in cognitive discipline two decades after he first registered at university. He is now working on a masters in artificial intelligence.
The post From dream to nightmare: when your seman donor has secrets appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.
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apsbicepstraining · 7 years ago
Text
From dream to nightmare: when your seman donor has secrets
Having a baby by sperm donation is an intensely personal and psychological process. So what happens when you discover that interested donors has a genetic health ill?
Sperm donor 9623 looked good on paper. An IQ of 160. A bachelors degree in neuroscience, a masters in artificial intelligence, en route to a PhD in neuroscience engineering. A passion for crystallography, algorithms and fitness. Ontario couple Elizabeth Hanson and Angela Collins thought they had observed the perfect father for their baby.
Seven times after their son was born, Collins and Hanson discovered that donor 9623 was a college dropout with schizophrenia, a egocentric personality disorder and a criminal record. He had wasted eight months in prison for burglary, and 10 years on probation.
The sperm bank had inadvertently included the donors appoint, Christian Aggeles, in an email to the couple. A Google search did the remain. His stepfather had vouched in tribunal that Aggeless psychopathic chapters began age-old 19, well before he started donating in Georgia. Aggeless sperm led to the birth of at least 36 children worldwide.
It was like a dream changed nightmare in an point, said Collins. The couple, alongside at least three other categories, have registered lawsuits against the Georgia-based sperm bank, Xytex Corporation, which too gave sperm to British duets. Xytex disclaims wrongdoing.
Such specimen are not unique. Like Collins, Hanson and their son, numerous categories and individuals are now to access to words with vital information that their donors withheld.
The forks of such breakthroughs can be immense. The most important entity to me is[ my son] potentially facing a very debilitating life-style, Collins says. I felt like I was defrauded by Xytex and I flunked my son for having selected Xytex. In hindsight, a hitchhiker on the side of the road would have been a far more responsible option for imagining a child.
Families have registered lawsuits against the Georgia-based seman bank, Xytex Corporation. Photograph: David Goldman/ AP
What level of danger do Aggeless genes award? The building of mental health illness is complex. The genetic ingredient of schizophrenia, explains Professor Cathryn Lewis, prof of genetic epidemiology and statistics at Kings College London, is not a single gene, but is combined across many genes. There are likely to be thousands of acquired discrepancies that hold threat of schizophrenia. Each change slightly increases or decreases our danger, but nothing of them alone will enable us to predict whether someone is likely to develop schizophrenia.
Even stimulating brand-new findings in the C4 gene ask careful version. Its a single piece in a large genetic jigsaw riddle, Lewis says. Measuring one gene tells us anything about private individuals risk of developing schizophrenia.
Mental health conditions also show a mixture of interacting environment and social causes. Not to mention that many parties with schizophrenia respond to treatment and live full, productive lives.
Donor anonymity was abolished in the UK in 2005. Donor-conceived offspring are now legally entitled, at the age of 18, to information on their donors identity. However, this was not retrospectively exerted: those thoughts before April 2005( thats 21,000 people born between 1991 and 2004 alone) cannot identify their donor unless interested donors gradations forward voluntarily. Some are never even told they were donor-conceived in the first place.
Tyler Blackwell discovered as a teen in Maryland that he has 35 half-siblings. His second amaze: having the same condition that his donor parent, John( not his real refer) has not been able to divulged. Johns sister discovered the Blackwells through a family pedigree place. It transpired that John, who had not replied to their communication, had an aortic aneurysm, which had severed at persons under the age of 43. He had endured. At least three other family members were similarly altered. Tyler accompanied a cardiologist as a precaution, was diagnosed with an aneurysm and underwent surgery. Without an operation on an aneurysm of this type, the mortality rate from severance is up to 97%. When sever appears, patients typically die within six hours. There is no one who knew about it, said his mother of the sperm bank committed. If I could foretell the future, I would have picked a different donor.
Financial incentives could underlie some instances of deception. However, the UKs Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority ( HFEA ) specifies the limit for sperm donors at 35 per clinic visit and egg donors at 750 per repetition of donation, plus expenses. These restrictions, it territory, aim to reward altruism and prevent coercion. Rules vary internationally. One California cryobank recoups your time and expenditures with compensation of up to $1,500/ month with regular motivations such as movie tickets or endow certificates for additional era and try expended by participants.
Danish semen donor 7042 unwittingly passed on neurofibromatosis to at least 11 of “their childrens”, after his seman was used in clinics across the US, Canada, Belgium, Greece, Spain, Thailand and the UK. Neurofibromatosis is consistent with brain and nerve tumors, bone deformities, visual disorder, blood pressure and read rigors. Offspring have a 50% gamble of acquiring it. Denmark has since mandated that donor sperm can be used in a maximum of 12 inseminations. In the UK , no more than 10 categories can be created using egg or seman from a single donor. Donated eggs are not risk-free, but sperm donors frequently have more offspring who are in a position pass on acquired plights to the next generation.
There is no such situation as reproduction without peril. Here i am, however, an ethical responsibility towards the child to be seen and their hopeful mothers. If a donor develops a genetic precondition years after donation, “were not receiving” arrangement at present that enforces disclosure.
Donors now must experiment negative for HIV, hepatitis B and C, and syphilis, with farther screening be a primary consideration in ethnicity such as cystic fibrosis in those of Caucasian swoop and sickle-cell sicknes in African and Afro-Caribbean populations. Guidelines state that potential donors should be assessed for positions with a genetic constituent cleft palate, spina bifida, congenital mettle malformations, psychosis and others but that decisions on eligibility should be individualised.
These screening regulations do not ever apply to the unknown number of UK citizens who travel abroad to find donors, implement unlicensed clinics or buy home-insemination kits online. Although mental evaluation is required by most international authorities, this will not table donors who have not yet developed indications of a serious mental health issues disease. For them, the diagnostic implement is time.
Genetic screening is more affordable and thorough than ever before. So, should be used turn away from the donors account and towards the laboratory? Allan Pacey, prof of andrology at the University of Sheffield, is leery. I thoughts the perfect genome probably doesnt prevail, so its actually a question of where the line should be drawn. Merely about 4% of all those who come forward to be seman donors are abode. If we were to impose a whole new prepare of exclusion criteria based on theoretical hazards, it is possible there wont be any sperm donors at all.
Frozen sperm stored in a sperm bank. Picture: monkeybusinessimages/ Getty Images/ iStockphoto
With intensified screening, donors might be diagnosed with genetic positions that would have remained undiscovered for ever, or are untreatable. Perhaps there is an statement for not knowing.
Kevin, who works in photography in London, is not only a donor-conceived being but a donor himself. He is therefore of the opinion that prospective parents should know as much as possible about interested donors medical record. But there is a stage where you have to draw the line, and say were no longer forming decorator children here, he adds.
He understands the distress of Elizabeth Hanson and Angela Collins, hitherto worries about speaking too much into particular case. Its a disgrace if beings make it overshadow the industry and take it to be some sort of wide-reaching corruption. It is one narration. Every era there are lots of children being born to duets who have fertility both problems and thats much more important to remember.
Eleven offspring have been born from his gifts. Why did he donate? I wouldnt be here if someone hadnt donated. Someone did that and thats why I am here.
Jess Cresswell detected aged 28 that she was donor-conceived. Seven years later, she still does not know who her biological father is, but find her mothers imparted her the best life they could. Since some of her own family medical record is missing, how does she feel about donor screening?
I think they should be screened but I also think that, just because they have some sort of hereditary condition, they shouldnt inevitably be excluded. Its the parents discretion; some people would rather have a child knowing theres a risk of picking something up than not, if that was their only option.
It is now easier than ever for donor-conceived parties to find their genetic pedigree. The US Donor Sibling Registry has helped connect more than 10,900 people with their half-siblings and/ or their donors. Nearly 70% of those who sign up match with a biological relative, and nearly 80% of this group competitor instantaneously. The UK has a Donor Sibling Link website.
Direct-to-consumer genetic tests have revolutionised this opening. In 2005, a 15 -year-old mailed a saliva sample to an on-line service, had his genetic code uploaded, applied a tracking website and met his biological father 10 days later. Kevin spotted a half-sister through a donor-sibling registry and two half-siblings through parentage places. He afterward unwittingly discovered some of his donors items. Two hours on, Google disclosed his donors appoint. The two have since stayed in contact.
One last concept: Aggeles received mental health medicine and picked up a degree in cognitive discipline two decades after he first registered at university. He is now working on a masters in artificial intelligence.
The post From dream to nightmare: when your seman donor has secrets appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.
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