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hansolmates · 4 years ago

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hoshi; vowels and veracity (m)

summary: after a blind date that makes you feel like a giddy teenager all over again, you’re forced to grow up and take a chance when you realize that special someone is your daughter’s kindergarten teacher. pairing: teacher!soonyoung x single mother!reader genre/warnings: fluffity fluff nuggets, humor, a lil bit of angst when yn panics, *steve rogers voice* language! alcohol, unprotected sex (wrap the pickle before u tickle), face sitting w/c: 5.2k a/n: i really have nothing to say about this but i’ve been thinking about going back to school all week so this manifested. enjoy a lil sexy but sweet hosh💕

“Y-you,” another giggle and the press of wet lips to the sensitive spot of your neck, “stop, Soonyoung! I’m ticklish there!”

You feel a pout imprint itself in the sweet spot between your ear and your jaw, and you sigh at the rumble of his lips against your skin, “But you taste so sweet, baby,” he croons, and you’re practically melting between the door with how much Soonyoung has pressed himself against you, all of himself.

“What if I don’t wanna stop, pretty girl?” he husks against your soft skin, whispering things in your ear that aren’t for the faint of heart. In your haste to keep a firm grip, one hand goes to his clothes and the other nips at the undercut of his midnight black hair, “what if I just open the door right now and we slip right in, and then I slip right in you?”

Your breath hitches and suddenly your core feels like a timebomb, ready to combust.

Go on a date, Joshua says. He’s a sweet guy, Joshua says. He’s a friend of Joshua’s, so you know going into this blind date that at the very least, he wasn’t a serial killer. But what Joshua failed to tell you going into this was how much Kwon Soonyoung packed and how much of a temptor in disguise he is.

“I really would love to invite you in,” it looks like it pains Soonyoung to admit this, as he presses his forehead to yours and the edge of his fingers dig into your crushed emerald velvet number, “but tomorrow’s the first day of work and I am not emotionally prepared. But, I do want to see you again. I had a great time.”

The previous mood melting into the night sky, you reluctantly let go of the lapels of his tweed blazer. Unable to suppress your crestfallen smile you nod, “That’s fine,” you reply, inching away from him to send him a pointed look, “I wouldn’t have gone inside anyway. I don’t put out on the first date,” you cross your arms in an attempt to feign nonchalance.

Which isn’t a lie, although if Soonyoung had asked you two minutes ago to come inside for a cup of tea, you wouldn’t have argued. He is just that tempting. Said date raises an eyebrow in response, tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear at the defiance in your eyes. “Oh?” he echoes, “then what date do you put out?”

“Date seven.”

“Lucky seven,” he grins, “so if we go on a date every day this week by Friday we should be good to go. How do you feel about steak?”

You slap his shoulder in his response, and the giggle that erupts from his lips in response has you feeling dizzy and giddy with excitement. Soonyoung has you feeling like a college freshman all over again, floating like Cloud 9 and drunk in anticipation. You peck one, two more kisses on his lips. He tastes like the peach champagne you shared and his own scent as he pulls you in for a much longer, much hotter kiss.

“Good luck on your first day,” you mumble against his lips, vaguely remembering that he’s a teacher in a school nearby.

“Mm, text me when you get home,” and with a final kiss to your forehead he unlocks his door, leaving you warm and full of heart-eyes on his front porch.

The walk home, more like float home, has you feeling all parts exhausted and hopeful for the days to come. For the first time in a long time you feel young and unbridled, thrumming with excitement. Now you’re just playing with your phone, waiting to exchange goodnight texts.

“Nari’s asleep,” when you walk into your shared apartment, you spot a sleepy Seungkwan on his laptop and sprawled across your couch. “How was it?”

“It was reealllly nice,” you’re still a little wine tipsy, drunk on the taste of Merlot and a certain someone’s kisses, “he was really sweet, and surprisingly sexy.”

“Did you get dicked down?” Seungkwan asks only the most important questions.

You scoff, flopping down on the couch next to him, “As if, we have work in the morning.”

“Speaking of work, are you sure you’re not able to drop off Nari to school tomorrow? It’s her first day of kindergarten.”

“I can’t,” saying it feels absolutely awful, but a single mother has to work extra hard to keep her and her daughter happy.

“It’s fine,” Seungkwan easily waves you off and runs a hand through his fluffy auburn hair, “her favorite Uncle is there, anyway.”

“Hey,” you lightly punch his arm, “I’ve already talked Nari through it. I’m cooking a big breakfast tomorrow—chocolate chip pancakes, duh, and taking a million pictures before we have to part ways. I packed a little Kit-Kat for her lunch with a sweet note. When I come back in time for dinner I promised her pizza from her favorite parlor and she can tell me everything about her day.”

“So, you’re bribing her with food.”

“Sue me, it’s every parent’s weak spot.”

Seungkwan stretches his arms, cradling you between his chest. You sigh into his clean linen scent, feeling sleepy. “Yeah, I’ve bribed her with my Switch once or twice,” he admits softly, eyes also drooping, “but you’re a great mother regardless. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Kwannie,” you sigh, feeling more at ease.

Nari is the light of you and Seungkwan’s life. Five years ago, you promised yourself that if you were more than financially stable and still sick with baby fever, you would adopt. You didn’t want to find a romantic partner for the sole purpose of having a child, you could easily do that on your own. And that you did, you researched and visited foster homes off in the countryside.

In a little town off the coast of the shore was where you met Nari, only six months old and full with cherub cheeks and eyes that sparkled like the moon and stars. You fell in love with her instantly. Fast forward five years later and she’s the reason you wake up every morning and work hard every day. Seungkwan being your best friend, also wanted rights as the godfather and therefore is also part of your perfect family picture.

You and Seungkwan sleep warmly tonight, both excited to share yet another year of Nari’s milestones.

“And then Mr. Kwon said I was an ‘ace’ with my vowels!” Nari has a string of cheese hanging from her chin, and you don’t bat an eye as you reach to pat it away with a napkin.

“I wouldn’t expect any less, baby,” you coo, carding a hand through her hair so her bangs don’t get caught in her meal, “remember when mommy and Uncle Kwannie taught you the vowels this summer? We sang that song.”

“Yes! I sang the same song and showed everyone how ‘ta do it,” your heart is swelling with pride, and you fight the urge to tear up because Seungkwan’s already showing signs of waterworks from his side of the table, “I read a book Mr. Kwon gave me today and he said he’s so impressed I read at a Level B.”

You quirk your brows at the new jargon. You certainly don’t know what it means to be a Level B, but it makes Nari happy and that’s all that matters. Wiping the orange grease off her lips, you muse that you must get in contact with her teacher one of these days.

“What’s a Level B?” Seungkwan similarly looks stumped at the new vocabulary.

“I don’t know!” Nari shrugs, but nevertheless her teacher’s attention has her glowing.

You giggle, “I’m so happy for you, baby.”

“I’m excited to go back tomorrow, I made a new friend! His name is Jeonghan and he helped me with my numbers today. He called my bows cute.”

“Cute?” Seungkwan perks up from his stupor, “of course you’re cute, Nari. So cute that you’re too good for this Jeonghwan boy.”

“Jeonghan, Uncle Kwannie,” she pouts when Seungkwan scoffs, in favor of shoving half a slice in his mouth. She turns to you, tugging on your blazer, “Mama, can I go watch TV now? I finished my homework and I wanna see the new Ladybug and Cat Noir!”

“Of course,” you pull away her plate, gesturing for her to go to the living room.

“Thank you mama,” and she’s bouncing off her seat, pushing her chair in and off to watch Miraculous Ladybug.

You sigh, “They grow up so fast.”

Seungkwan’s eyes widen at your age-old phrase, the words reminding him oddly of his parents when they used to talk down to him. “And here we are, aging twice as fast,” Seungkwan bemoans, already starting to feel the greasy food settle in his stomach. “We used to eat a whole pie! We could eat absolute garbage back in college and here I am weak at two slices—oh my god, am I having a ‘back in my day’ moment? We need to go out. I need to go out. I’ve been practicing consonants and vowels all day. I need a boyfriend,” he playfully narrows his eyes at you, “I need a boyfriend like yours, sweet and sexy.”

“Sorry,” you stick out your tongue, “but he’s mine.”

Perfect timing, Soonyoung’s name pops up on your phone. You two have been texting sporadically throughout the day, making plans for your next date. The two of you are going to watch a drive-in movie, a situation that screams teenage-back-of-the-truck-sex but the movie is a much anticipated favorite of yours and you genuinely want to watch it.

Soonyoung is full of humor and laughs, getting you to smile and relax at the right times during work and always manages to keep you on your toes whenever he says something flirtatious.

“Are you gonna introduce him to Nari?”

You stop typing, and look up towards your beautiful little girl in the living room. Her hair is out of her pigtails, drooping tiredly like she is. Her cheek is pressed against her favorite plush cat, fighting for consciousness because she’s waiting for Marinette to save the day. Your heart swells with affection.

“Dunno,” you shrug, trying not to think too hard about it, “we’re not that serious right now.”

You’re absolutely winded. You finished work early today, due to the fact that came in early so you could clock out and pick Nari up from school. Despite the fact that Nari says it’s okay for you not to pick her up, you can’t allow it and you want to be the one who she runs into when she comes out the door.

“Who do you think she’s gonna hug first?” Seungkwan’s elbowing you, baiting you. “Because this morning she gave me a hug and three kisses before I dropped her off.”

“Three?” you seethe in annoyance, “three kisses is our thing! Two on the cheek and one on the forehead!”

The two of you slowly steep together, waiting for the colorful blue door to the kindergarten area to file out. The heel of your shoes are digging into the grass, probably making a needle-like indentation in the dirt as you struggle not to seep into the lawn. You feel like you’re going to flop on your heels, wishing you could go run back into the car and find your flip-flops from last month’s beach trip. But before you could debate on the run the bell rings, and you’re on livewire when you see the students start to file out.

Your smile grows ten-fold when you see Nari’s jaw drop in surprise, seeing you waiting for her. She fists whatever is in her hands in surprise, breaking into the cutest smile as she screams, “mama!”

And you’re ready to hold your arms out and throw her around in circles, until you see who follows right behind her.

Kwon Soonyoung is Nari’s kindergarten teacher. Kwon Soonyoung with his hair down and untextured, wearing a mint polo and looking nothing like the date you had the other night. He looks absolutely soft and so, you are weak.

Kwon Soonyoung, the sexy deviant who sends you questionable texts and sends you funny puppy videos, is staring right at you and utterly confused when Nari rams straight into your hip.

Momentarily distracted, you pepper your pretty daughter in kisses (all three of them, two cheeks and one forehead) and tell her how much you’ve missed her. Clearly she doesn’t miss you as much, as she’s waving around a picture she drew during playtime, one of her and Jeonghan in the sandbox.

“Really, Nari,” Seungkwan mutters under his breath, shamelessly vocalizing his opinion on a five-year old, “can’t you choose a different friend?”

“Seungkwan!” you chide, but he pointedly annoys you when Nari finally enters Seungkwan’s embrace. He takes extra time to cuddle her, obviously jealous that another boy has taken refuge in your little Nari’s heart.

The moment is so sweet and simple you have no choice but to revel in it and take out your phone to snap a photo.

“Mama!” she pops her head off of Seungkwan’s shoulder, “come meet Mr. Kwon!”

And she’s tugging your hand, only you’re much stronger and you stay firmly planted on the grass. Heck, you even sacrifice your shoes by digging your heels in for extra measure.Your eyes widen in panic, but Nari doesn’t notice because she’s paving a path of dirt with her lime green light-up sneakers, trying to get you to move. You nearly forgot your latest tryst is your daughter’s teacher, and you never told him you have a kid.

But within seconds, there’s an audible slam and the three of you are shattered from your bubble. Turning to the noise the heavy navy door is now locked shut, all the students dismissed for the day. The crowd is gone. Soonyoung is gone.

Seungkwan’s eyes dart between the closed door and you, the pieces clicking. His mouth forms a little ‘o’ and he nods in understanding. “He thinks I’m your baby daddy.”

The two of you point out each other like the Spiderman meme. “He thinks you’re my baby daddy,” you echo, horror marrying your face.

“Mama? What’s a baby daddy?”

“Shh, Nari—” he picks up Nari in one swoop, mouthing a go to you as he leads her to the car.

All alone on the grass, you panic as you watch your family grow smaller and smaller as they enter the parking lot. Soonyoung’s just behind that door, right? Looking left and right to assure no one is going to think you’re being that parent and harassing the teacher within the first week of school, you bound up the steps to knock on the door. Your knocks clang heavily, echoing against the building.

Ten seconds pass. Nothing.

You deflate, pulling out your phone to shoot Soonyoung a quick text.

You: hey, can you come out for a bit so i can explain? Please

A minute passes. He leaves you on read. Defeated, you slump against the door. This day is really a whirlwind on your mental state. All you wanted today was some extra time off work, Nari’s three kisses, and maybe a goodnight text from Soonyoung if you were lucky.

The door suddenly flips open, and you’re braced against someone’s hands.

“Whoa, you okay?”

Your face crumples in relief when it’s Soonyoung that’s come out to respond to you. He’s bracing your weight by holding your arms between his hands, although keeping a respectable distance between the upper half of your bodies. It makes you a little upset, but you understand. Once you’re stable, he lets you go and leans away from you.

“Why are you waiting out here?” he asks pointedly, looking at you up and down. You seem terribly overdressed in your coral pinstripe suit, mismatching with Soonyoung’s apple sauce stains.

“Why do you think I’m waiting out here?”

“And if I close the door again?” he retorts suddenly.

“Then I’ll follow you home.”

A beat passes, whatever expression he conveys on his face is practiced and primed. You have a terrible time trying to decipher his blankness. Working with kids probably does that to an adult. “Come in,” he says neutrally, and you wordlessly follow him into his classroom.

The room is decorated beautifully, with rainbows and glitter. It’s also surprisingly organized, all the crayons in place and the play area free of stray toys. Your eyes instantly search for Nari’s desk, and a small smile fits on your face as you trace her handmade name tag.

“Normally, I don’t let parents in my room until it’s Back to School Night,” Soonyoung says, leaning against his desk. It makes you terribly nervous, knowing the ball is in your court and he’s waiting for you to make a move. His carefree, easy going nature is nowhere to be found, and all you see is walls and a mean poker face. He pulls up the sleeves of his polo, exposing pale, strong arms. Your mouth waters a little (you can’t help it!) and you immediately reach for a bottle of water in your purse. “So, what is it you have to say?”

“Seungkwan’s not my baby daddy,” you blurt, and you immediately blanch when Soonyoung’s eyes widen. “Wow uh. I didn’t mean to say it like that.”

“But you did say it like that,” Soonyoung replies slowly, “no child just doesn’t give three kisses to someone who isn’t their father.”

“I only called him my baby daddy because he said it first,” you grumble, almost childishly, “and Nari’s a baby, of course she’s going to give three kisses to anyone that feeds her and coddles her.”

“It sounds like an excuse.”

“It sounds like I’m freaking out because you keep talking back and forth like this!” you cry, slapping your hands against your thigh. You don’t have to look in a mirror to know that you’re quickly getting annoyed, your face morphing into a shade of embarrassment. You can’t tell if this is amusing him or this is a real interrogation. “Let me explain, Soonyoung!”

He says your name slowly, deliberately. And then, “do you want to take a break in the Calm Down Corner?”

“The—the what?” Soonyoung’s eyes flicker to a corner at the far end of the room. The radiator is decorated in a sky blue wallpaper, and there’s a yoga mat on the floor. There are chairs next to a desk filled with coloring pages, decorated with fairy lights. Filling three of the chairs are various stuffed animals, a tiger, a cat, and a panda, all dressed as doctors. It’s a child’s therapy corner. “You gotta be kidding me.”

He raises a brow, and—is that a smile on his lips? “Then explain, why are you here?”

“Because I think I really like you,” you confess, frustration melting away to reveal the uneasy upturn on your lips. You lied when Seungkwan asked if you would ever consider introducing Soonyoung to Nari. In a different world, you would’ve loved to take the time to take Nari to the museum and introduce Soonyoung there. They’d definitely bond over their love for tigers. “Seungkwan is my best friend, and helps me take care of Nari. I adopted her five years ago.”

Something softens in Soonyoung’s eyes, and the air feels much more relaxed. But his dark brows remain knit together, and he looks at you with confused eyes. “Then if you like me so much, why didn’t you tell me you had a daughter?”

“Because kids can be deal breakers,” you admit, and the colorful classroom feels smaller as you hug yourself. “I just, wanted you to like me first.”

It’s the primary reason why it’s taken you so long to date. Sure, there’d be a fling here and there, but nothing that feels as tangible as Soonyoung is. You’re not old enough to find a partner that wouldn’t blink at the sign of children, yet you’re still at that weird age threshold where a partner could immediately run for the hills at the mention of one. Nothing will top Nari, she’s number one in your heart, but the small selfish part wanted you to put the focus on yourself for just one night.

“You don’t have to hide, I want every part of your life no matter how long we have,” he assures you gently, firmly without an ounce of regret. Soonyoung opens his arms, and you cry in relief when you get to collapse in the scent of his cologne. You tuck your head in the crook of his neck, slightly sweaty from whatever activities he needs to do with the kids, but you don’t mind. His voice is quiet, melting in your ears, “and I really like you too. I really like Nari as well, she’s a great kid.”

“She is, isn’t she?”

You two pull away, and he swipes a thumb under your eyes in case some tears manage to escape. “So, Friday? Movie?”

“It’s a date.”

“Where’s Nari?” the question is huffed against your breath as you’re pressed between your freshly washed bedspread and Soonyoung’s body. He takes care in making sure the zipper of your delicate dress doesn’t get caught in the rush, easily slipping your dress off and throwing it on your desk chair.

“At Seungkwan’s, why?”

His cheshire cat eyes glow under the moonlight, positively devious. “It’s date seven,” he announces sweetly. His gaze betrays his saccarine reply, a look that only tells you that Soonyoung plans to fuck you five ways to Sunday, and you’ll gladly let him.

You sit up on your elbows, enjoying the show as Soonyoung quickly sheds his clothing. It’s ungraceful, exciting. Tonight was a simple carnival date, easily making you feel like a giddy college student all over again. Soonyoung won you five Pokemon keychains today, you could put a whole party on your hand.

“It’s actually date six,” you tease, tilting your head as his pants finally come off, revealing black boxer briefs that snug deliciously around the waist.

“Oh, okay,” he looks at you like you’ve spoken God’s word, reaching to pick up his shirt, “so you don’t want my dick fucking you raw tonight? Okay, I see how it is,” he pretends to put on his clothing, jabbing a thumb out the door.

You have the audacity to giggle, pulling him over by the waistband, “Come here so I can make an exception.”

You don’t know what it is that makes you want you want to give everything to this man. Heck, five years ago you didn’t even want a man as an excuse to have kids. But as he nudges you in all the right places and places you on top of him, you know this man will treat you like an absolute treasure. Every kiss is laced with smiles and sweetness, filled with vigor and vivacity that fills you up and leaves you afloat.

He takes care of you first, unwilling to let you budge as he places your core over his face. He makes quick, but effective use of his tongue and fingers, making sure you’re nice and sensitive for his future plans. You’re practically throbbing with pleasure, vibrating from every cell of your body. Within minutes he’s glistening in your arousal, and he pulls you down so you’re lined up with his crotch. It’s involuntary when you pulse against his member, your body shamefully alerting you that it’s desperate with need, and the remedy is right under you.

Soonyoung looks more satisfied than you, eager to please you. Without warning, he stuffs two fingers in your mouth, “You pretty, pretty girl,” you are keen at the attention, your body is glowing a radiant rose.

Your tongue rolls against his fingers, sticky and tasting of your arousal. Tilting your hips up you let Soonyoung pull his member out, lining it against your entrance. Feeling the soft tip brush against your delicate folds, you moan against his mouth. With a little ‘pop’ he releases you, lips shiny and parted.

“I hope you don’t think I’m some kind of hit-it-n’quit-it kind of guy,” he noses the sensitive spot of your jawline, which distracts you momentarily when the plush tip nudges your folds, coaxing you to unite. “Because after tonight, I’m definitely keeping you. Forever.”

The reply that dances on your tongue is overtaken by your whines when Soonyoung slips in fully, forcing your body to clench tightly against his. You take him, all of him. You feel wet and sticky and hot and swollen with affection as Soonyoung praises you for taking him so well. His pace is firm and passionate, short nails digging deliciously into your hips for leverage as he makes sure to fill you to the brim.

He’s right, tonight is far from being a means to an end. You feel like you can have nights like this the rest of your life. And when the both of you finish and you’re pulling the covers over one another, you finally manage to grasp the reply that was nearly forgotten.

Pressing a kiss to his jaw you whisper, “I’m keeping you, too.”

“So, how long can we keep this a secret for?”

“Ideally? Ten months. Realistically, I’d say Christmas.”

“Why Christmas?”

“Because I know you’re going to be dying to get Nari a Christmas present.”

Soonyoung props his elbow on the pillow, looking at you petulantly. “I could say it’s a good behavior reward. She’s been racking up those gold stars during morning meetings, babe. She’s not even trying.”

“That’s my girl,” you coo, rolling over to lean your head on his chest. Light has long flooded into your apartment, seeping through your curtains and reflecting on your white duvet. Soonyoung looks absolutely fluffy and well rested, and you can’t help but reach to pat down the ebony bird’s nest atop his head.

The two of you lay like that for a little bit, playing with each other’s cold feet under the covers and relishing under the touch of bare skin to bare skin. You remind yourself that you need to take Joshua out to dinner one of these days, as he managed the inevitable and set you up with an amazing partner.

“Breakfast?” Soonyoung pops the question easily, “let’s get steak.”

“Steak isn’t eaten for breakfast.”

“Then can I eat you for breakfast?”

You snort, hiding under the covers while Soonyoung attempts to tickle you. The whole act in itself feels wholly innocent despite the fact that you’re both naked and smell like sweat and sex. Just as you feel Soonyoung’s head dip under the covers to meet you at your chest, the door swings open.

“Mama!”

The previously warm room feels like wickedly sharp ice, freezing you to your spot as you clutch the covers closer to your chest. “Baby!” you cry exasperatedly, flinching when she throws all her weight on you. She’s still in her ladybug pajamas from last night, hair falling out of her braid.

She lifts her head from your breast to give you an adorable one-toothed grin. You try your best to maintain eye-contact, but Nari has impeccable vision. Her grin evolves into a full-on beam when she finds your bed partner.

“Mr. Kwon!” she’s squealing, clamoring over your lap. You do a double-take when you see Soonyoung sitting next to you, wearing a t-shirt. Where on earth did he get that?

Soonyoung’s eyes reduce to crescents at his (secretly) favorite student. “Good morning, Nari-ah. Had a fun time at your Uncle’s house?”

“Nari,” you force your daughter down to stand on the hardwood, giving her a stern look, “give Mr. Kwon some space, it’s really early and it’s the weekend.”

Knitting her brows together, she looks between the two of you, “But you two don’t have any space.”

You wince at her perception, and nudge yourself away so you’re pressed against your nightstand. The oakwood corner digs painfully into your back.

“We were haviång a very special parent meeting,” you fight the urge to cry when Soonyoung turns on his teacher's voice, sending your daughter a very convincing smile. You watch as your daughter’s eyes go wide, probably feeling very special that her teacher came all the way to her house to have a meeting. “You’ve been doing so well during the read-alouds that I had to tell your mama in person!”

“I told you mama!” Nari juts out her chest, and you lean over to kiss the crown of her head. “But Mr. Kwon, why are you having it in mama’s room?”

“Her room is the warmest!” he says like it’s the most obvious thing, his and Nari’s eyes widening simultaneously as he gestures to the open window. “The sun travels directly into your bedroom in the morning, and those rays send heat—”

“Mr. Kwon,” your voice is as steady as it can be, and you frown when Soonyoung wiggles his brows. You already know he’s thinking of three separate ways you can use the term Mr. Kwon in private, but you’re not having any of that, “shouldn’t we uh, wrap up this… meeting?”

“I wanna stay,” Nari glowers, obviously nosy as to what you two are talking about.

“I know baby. We just gotta finish up the meeting, okay? Can you—” you cut yourself off when Seungkwan finally decides to make his appearance, eyes wide at commotion he’s created. He’s in matching pajamas, ridiculously red as he bends down to scoop up Nari. Absolutely sweating and as red as his clothes, his eyes dart between the two of you. You could care less that Seungkwan’s eyes have bags under their bags, and was probably too tired to catch her when she ran inside the house. No, Seungkwan doesn’t deserve the title of godfather anymore.

“Nari! You can’t interrupt teacher meetings,” Seungkwan pretends to scold, and Nari turns her head so she can hide in her Uncle’s shoulder.

Knowing that Nari can’t see a thing, you mouth a very explicit I will kill you to your best friend, and he immediately mouths an apology to the both of you as he ushers himself out the door. You wait ten seconds for your daughter to be out of ear shot, before dropping the blanket from your neck and throwing yourself against the pillows.

But Soonyoung’s chuckling, pressing a litany of kisses all over your bare body in an attempt to comfort you. Instead of reveling in his lazy morning touch, you want to disappear between the sheets, never to be seen. What will the PTO moms say when they find out? How will you stop Nari from telling Jeonghan, and therefore Jeonghan telling the entire kindergarten population? Why isn’t Soonyoung freaking out about this? Instead, he favors to taste your body, in between kisses muttering something about it being kismet that Nari so happened to see right as you were discussing the secrecy of your relationship. Ten years from now, your daughter will be horrified when she realizes that no, teachers don’t normally give housecalls in your mother’s bed.

Your boyfriend pinches your thigh, regarding you with mirth in his eyes.

“So, that means I can buy her a Christmas present now, right?”

#hoshi fic #hoshi x reader #svt creations #caratwritersclub #thekpopnetwork #svt fic #svt scenarios #soonyoung fic

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otonymous · 4 years ago

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How To Get Your Groove Back

Dearest Nonny,

I just wanted to start off by saying that I’m very sorry you’re in this difficult situation. I wouldn’t call what I’m about to discuss “advice” per se, because everyone’s personal experiences are different and what worked for me may not work for another. That being said, please take what I say with a grain of salt — deconstruct it, take and use the things that vibe with you and toss the ones that don’t.

(Posting the rest of this under a cut. For those who aren’t in the mood for IRL musings, please feel free to skip this 🤣):

I feel you, dear Nonny, I really do. I also went through a similar experience and it took a lot of honest introspection on my part to come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t at a place where I wanted to be.

I think a lot of times, people in general struggle with expectations. You mentioned that you majored in something you didn’t enjoy. Have you stopped to ask why that was the case? I know it’s not uncommon for people to enter a field of study they have no interest in just because it was expected of them (either explicitly or perceived) — whether it’s by family members or other authority figures, or maybe even friends and society at large. Oftentimes, their intentions are good: certain fields are perceived as being more financially secure than others. Maybe they thought it was a good fit for someone like you.

“You may not love your job, but hey, who does? The most important thing is that it’s stable and pays the bills.”

Don’t get me wrong, financial stability is definitely important. As per Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in the study of psychology, you cannot talk about self-actualization if your basic needs aren’t met. You’ve got to make sure you have a safe home and food in the fridge before you can even think about painting that masterpiece, writing that novel or running that marathon.

(Maslow’s hierarchy of needs - accessed from Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs. Please note that while this theory has its critics, the basic idea applies in this case)

That being said, imagine you land a job related to your field of study. Really try to picture yourself working there for a number of years. If you didn’t enjoy it in school, do you foresee that you’ll enjoy working in this environment, day in and day out for x years of your life?

I am of the belief that one cannot stay for long in a place (literally and figuratively) where they are unhappy without losing a part of themselves. It makes for a soul-crushing experience, and life is too short to spend it being miserable. You owe it to yourself to seek your own happiness. And while others can aid us in this journey, it is ultimately yours to make.

On a related note, I also feel that the concept of job security as earlier generations may have understood it no longer exists. One rarely talks about loyalty between employers and employees these days, and occupations that were once considered sure bets in terms finding employment are no longer panning out. Keep in mind that when I talk about employment, I mean jobs that actually offer fair and liveable wages. So while this may not apply to you at the moment, dear Nonny, keep this in mind when you eventually land a job. Not to be a downer or anything, but nothing is for certain except for the fact that YOU’VE got your own back, so look to your own two hands to make that magic happen.

Because happiness is a type of magic in and of itself, isn’t it? And if you already know what brings you joy, half the battle is already won! If you don’t, that’s cool too. Just think about the hobbies you have now, or look to the things you enjoyed doing as a kid. Which topics could you literally spend hours upon hours reading or talking about? Do a deep dive and really brainstorm these things. As per Marie Kondo, what really sparks joy in your life, and can you find a way to make a career out of it?

Now I’ll tell you something about myself as an example, dear Nonny. I love to write. I always have, for as long as I can remember. The moment I could properly wield that pencil, I was making up stories to accompany messy Crayola drawings.

Writing also opened doors for me. Teachers took notice; I was placed in specialized programs and had my work published. I took a single English course as a student in university as a breadth requirement and was awarded a scholarship from the department. The last comment I received from my TA was an expression of his hope that I would consider pursuing a career in literature.

In spite of all this, I chose to pursue a career in something entirely unrelated because of the reasons listed above, opting to go for something safe in terms of job security rather than something I was passionate about. And then the writing stopped. Because it is incredibly difficult to find the time and energy to devote to the things you love when you are emotionally drained by your work.

I firmly believe that life is a journey and not a destination. It adds unnecessary stress to think that one only gets one shot at a career when in reality, many people make several career changes throughout their lives. Where you are now doesn’t have to be the end. And while the profession I chose (and spent a long time working towards) didn’t turn out to be a good fit for me, it wasn’t a complete loss as it taught me about what I did and did not enjoy.

And dear Nonny, you’ll just have to take my word for it when I tell you that when you are focused on doing something you love, you will never, ever, feel like an imposter.

So to recap:

Secure your finances first and foremost. Make sure you’ve got the funds to keep yourself (and any dependents, if applicable) afloat and comfortable when you decide to make the jump for your dream career. This might mean that you’ll have to stick with a job that is less than ideal for a while to secure your nest egg, so to speak, or you might have to spend your downtime developing your second (desired) career until it’s stable enough for you to make the transition completely

If you’ve got the choice, my dear, please ensure that the management you’ll be working under is taking the proper steps to secure the safety of their employees during this pandemic

If you can’t readily point to the things/pastimes you enjoy, make the effort to rediscover yourself. Once you find what sparks joy, HUSTLE and make it work for you. You’d be surprised by the way people can monetize their hobbies these days 😉

Above all else, dear Nonny, please know that you deserve to be happy, and that you have the power and capability to make it happen. So go forth and live the life you want to live.

Wishing you the best of luck! - XOXO, Otonymous 💖💖

#advice corner #q&a #anonymous #how to get your groove back #source: giphy #HUSTLE HUSTLE HUSTLE!!#get to know me

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thenexusofsouls · 3 years ago

Note

Flock- what is your muse's family like? How do they get along with them? (Tony)

Eagle- is your muse courageous or cowardly? What might cause them to act in the opposite manner, if anything? (Ethan)

Sparrow- what artistic or creative hobbies does your muse have? What is their favorite or most treasured creation? (Natasha)

Cardinal- how does your muse recover from strong emotions? How do they recouperate? (Michael)

{i am the caretaker of souls} This got long, haha, so I’ll put it under a cut.

Flock- what is your muse's family like? How do they get along with them? (Tony)

So... Tony’s relationships with various members of his family are complicated and not always positive, but the following five people mean the most to him, and with each of them, he’s tried to do the right thing at least at some point in his life. With some it worked better than others, for varying reasons, but I’ll focus on these and describe his relationship with them a little:

Father, Howard Stark: Oh boy. Where do I begin. There was so much wrong with Tony’s relationship with his dad. Both of them were incredibly intelligent and very arrogant, and that caused a huge ego clash between them, but for different reasons. Howard never felt that Tony lived up to his expectations as a son, although half the time he didn’t really give him half a chance or bother to notice when Tony did do something productive, constructive, good, noteworthy, etc. Tony wanted his father’s love, attention, and approval, but often went about it the wrong away, trying to stand out with bad behavior rather than positive achievements. Whenever they met in the middle and could have had a chance at bonding, the two of them were so defensive or closed off that they just couldn’t open up to each other. This never really got resolved, and then Howard was killed, so Tony was left with not only a huge hole in his heart from the love he felt he never really got from Howard, but also an emotional wound that would never have any closure.

Mother, Maria Stark: Tony loved his mother to bits, although when he was younger he often pretended like she worried to much and sometimes smothered him. From Maria, Tony got the love he felt he never got from his dad, but it was almost too easy. She just gave it unconditionally, and in some ways that offset what he wasn’t getting from his dad so much more because of the dramatic contrast in how his parents treated him. She was the softer, forgiving, understanding, encouraging parents in contrast to Howard’s aloof, distant, businesslike fathering. She was the one person in his life that he felt safe going to in any kind of vulnerable way, and losing her left Tony feeling very alone and isolated in a way he couldn’t express to other people... so he bottled it all up.

Girlfriend/Wife, Pepper Potts: Ugh. This relationship, in my opinion, was terrible and toxic. He was distant, defensive, and he abused alcohol to an extreme. Also he put her in danger either by accident or inadvertently with things he said or did. His communication was never the greatest and his coping mechanisms were unhealthy at best. She shamed Tony for his trauma responses as if they were personality flaws he should be ashamed of (scattered memory, nightmares, panic attacks, etc.), used walking out on him as a threat and emotional weapon against him whenever she just didn’t feel like dealing with him, and often was not there for him when he needed her. But... Tony genuinely loved her and something must have been good enough for both of them for them to want to make it work, and somehow, eventually, it did. I think once Tony knew he wasn’t going to lose her (the threat of her always just wanting to leave really kept him on edge in a way that was damaging to his mental health), he calmed down and some of his behaviors and coping mechanisms actually got better, which then in turn made Pepper want to stay with him and work it out, so those two things fed off each other in a positive way. Her actually marrying him brought about an emotional stability Tony never had before, both within himself and in a relationship. He settled down considerably after that and was much more stable mentally once he had her full support. He loves her with all his heart and there isn’t much he wouldn’t do for her.

Older Daughter, Carter Stark: This is going to sound terrible, haha, so I’ll preface it by saying that Tony loves Carter immensely. She’s his daughter and all he wants to do is keep her safe and make sure she has the best life she can. But... in many ways, she’s also a symbol of some of the worst times in his life, some of the worst things about himself, and some of the worst things he’s ever done. He slept around, he let people down, he got people killed, he wasn’t there for the ones he loved, etc. She reminds him of a lot of things about himself that he wishes weren’t true or didn’t happen. Her existence has also made him wonder on many occasions whether he might have other children whose mothers never knew he was the father or chose not to even inform him. He loves her, as I said, but there’s also just this aching pain and guilt he feels with her that he didn’t do enough for her, didn’t protect her well, or even that her life might have been better had she not known him. Some of that is his own anxiety telling him things that aren’t true, but some of it is due to events that happened that he knows have affected Carter’s mental health that Tony feels responsible for, either through his own actions or by the company he kept at the time. So Carter reminds Tony of the worst, lowest, and most broken aspects of himself, and I think that will always cause him to believe that he was a terrible father to her. He’s spent many hours wishing that he had done more for her in some way and had been able to be a better father than Howard was to him.

Younger Daughter, Morgan Stark: If Carter is a symbol of how bad a father he could be and some of Tony’s worst qualities, the Morgan is a symbol of the best he could be. Morgan in many ways is Tony’s redemption. Other people outside looking in might say his actions during Endgame were redeeming, or that he had moments before that throughout the franchise that helped redeem parts of him along the way, but in Tony’s mind, Morgan is his redemption. She’s what happens when he does things right. Carter helped contribute to this because he didn’t want to make the same mistakes he made with her, and he sought to correct as many as he could. His own father also contributed because Tony had a big example of the kind of father he never wanted to be, and he tried to avoid that at all costs. Stepping back from the Avengers and focusing on his marriage and being a father to his daughters was far better for his mental health, even with the guilt and sadness of everyone’s failure in Infinity War. So the years during which he raised Morgan were Tony’s most stable and healthy as far as his own mental state. If he was ever concerned about the legacy he would leave - and he was - he knew he was leaving something pure and positive behind after his death, whenever it might be, with Morgan.

Eagle- is your muse courageous or cowardly? What might cause them to act in the opposite manner, if anything? (Ethan)

Ethan is actually pretty damn brave, considering he’s lived a number of years in fear. Before he entered into this nomadic lifestyle in an attempt to keep other people at a distance, he was protective of his friends and girlfriends. As he and his more recent girlfriend Kelly dealt with the creature infesting their house, there were many times when he was woken up in the middle of the night by her or suddenly startled by her screaming and had to get up and see what the problem was. He would always go on the offensive, investigating with something held as a weapon, letting Kelly hide behind him. He was scared, but he wasn’t about to let her get hurt. The problem was, there wasn’t really anything he could do about it in the end.

When Ethan is by himself, it’s a different story. He’s willing to be that shield or put himself in danger to protect someone he cares about, but if it’s just him alone, he’s not stupid. He’s not looking to throw his life away for nothing. So when he’s alone, he’s a lot more attention to his self-preservation instincts.

Sparrow- what artistic or creative hobbies does your muse have? What is their favorite or most treasured creation? (Natasha)

Dancing. Specifically ballet dancing. Allow me to explain. You might think that she’d never want to touch pointe shoes again with how ballet was used against her in the Red Room. It was used as a conditioning tool, both for its strenuous and physical demands and difficult skillset necessary to master it, but also for other typical brainwashing techniques it provides, such as the use of repetition, association through music, and creating a sense of isolation through competition with others around you. However, something weird happened after Natasha defected to SHIELD. She started to dance for herself. She only did it when alone, sometimes with music but often times without any. Somehow, she took this thing that had been used against her and made it her own. It became a source of comfort, almost like the dancing itself had been a wounded friend, and somehow by only doing it privately and emotionally, she was helping it to be something more positive every bit as much as it was helping her heal.

While dancing, Natasha lets her mind wander. She allows herself to feel things she doesn’t express to others. At several points in her life when things hurt her emotionally, she took time out to dance. Such as when Wanda dredged up memories of the Red Room in her mind, when Bruce left her, and often during the years between Infinity War and Endgame. As far as hat her most treasured creation is... I suppose it isn’t something solid she can hold in her hands, but every time she dances, she feels like she’s created something good. And I would definitely say it’s treasured because it’s cathartic for her and helps her to feel whole and less anxious, and there's incredible value in that for her.

Cardinal- how does your muse recover from strong emotions? How do they recouperate? (Michael)

Since the word “recover” is being used, I’m assuming the strong emotions in question are negative ones? Anger, sadness, frustration, fear, those sorts of things? Typically, he needs to take a step back and be quiet and/or alone for a time to reset himself. Michael does have a temper, and he does feel emotions like sadness and grief very strongly, so sometimes he needs to step back and make sure that he doesn’t make any rash decisions based off of emotion. Quiet prayer usually helps, but if not that then just sitting quietly alone for a time, preferably out in nature somewhere, usually serves to reset his internal composure and steady his mind. Michael doesn’t like to act impulsively or in anger, so if he feels himself about to do that, he usually steps away. The one exception is when someone he cares about is in danger, then he might act on his protective instincts. Regret follows, but again, he finds prayer to be comforting to him in those types of moments.

#{ i am the caretaker of souls } ᵒᵒᶜ #headcanons #muse: michael #muse: ethan cavender #muse: tony stark #muse: natasha romanoff

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narniaandplowmen · 4 years ago

Text

It is not that I love you less / Than when before your feet I lay (But to prevent the sad increase / Of hopeless love, I keep away)

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Geralt/Jaskier Also on AO3 2154 words.

General Audiences / No Archive Warnings Apply Complete

Part 2 of Half a Century of Poetry

Jaskier, back in Lettenhove for the winter, considers how Geralt's words on the Mountain were unfair, but that nothing on this world can stop him from loving the Witcher anyways.

They had talked, after the Mountain. Or, well, Jaskier had talked. Geralt had been about to leave when Jaskier finally made his way down, exhausted and devastated and wounded from the lonely, perilous journey downhill. It was clear that Geralt had wanted to avoid him, but Roach, always a sucker for the sweet sugar cubes and shining apples the bard usually carried with him, had approached Jaskier on her own free will. And he had to say something, he couldn’t just stay silent. So he had given a promise. I will not come to you, but if you ever change your mind I should not be hard to find.

And so he had. There was much that could be said about the bard, about his extravagance and tendency to ignore the rules. But if Jaskier made a promise, he made sure to keep it. Which is why he almost never made promises, regardless of what other people might think he did. Answering ‘sure’ to ‘will you promise to stay behind whilst I fulfil this contract’ meant that he is open to making that promise, but not that he is actually making it. Being part-Fae, fully noble and just generally a little shit made Jaskier proficient in finding loopholes in his so-called promises. But this? This was a real promise. And he had kept to it.

It was winter, and Jaskier had returned to Lettenhove to reunite with his sister and his nieces and nephews. The little kids were elated to see their favourite (and only) uncle, and although his brother-in-law - who had married quite above his station and continually feared Jaskier would reclaim his rightful place as heir - was less happy to see him return, his sister had welcomed him with open arms. The lands of Lettenhove looked gorgeous in the shimmering snow, white like- Jaskier bit his lip, an awful habit he had picked up since-

Avoiding the thought was hopeless. He had tried everything to distract himself, but nothing could take away his endless, hopeless, futile lover for Geralt of Rivia, friend of humanity. His sister had noticed, of course. Damn observant, that woman. She had always been, but Jaskier was sure it had gotten even worse now that she was a mother. The Fae blood probably didn’t help either.

‘Why don’t you write it out? That always helped you when you were younger,’ she had said one day, breaking through Jaskier’s musings of how the colour of her dress reminded him of Geralt’s eyes.

‘You don’t have to share it with me, or anyone, if you don’t want to. But it might help.’

So here he was, sitting in the manor’s humble library overseeing the snow-covered vineyard, with a quill in hand and paper in front of him like he was twelve, whilst longingly staring at his baby brother, who now lied next to his parents in graves covered in snow, and younger sister, who were allowed to play outside whilst he was forced to make his homework. Now he looked down at a new generation of children. One day he had wished he could have some of his own, and he could not deny that, after Geralt had accidentally ended up with a child surprise, he had dreamed of the three of them forming a family. Nothing now could be further from the truth. Instead of living in a cottage near the sea, Geralt retiring from his Witcher business to open a smithy, Jaskier opening a school and them raising the adorable Ciri together, Geralt had refused to claim his promised child, shunned Jaskier from his life and gone off to who-knew-where to, as far as Jaskier knew, continue killing monsters for little pay. He had not come to apologise, not come to ask Jaskier to rejoin him, not come to find him at all. And so, Jaskier had kept his promise. And Jaskier had kept away. If only his heart would get the message, too.

It is not that I love you less

Than when before your feet I lay,

But to prevent the sad increase

Of hopeless love, I keep away.

Carefully placing his quill back in the inkpot, Jaskier resumed his watch over the playful children in the snow. They had found some sticks now, and were playfighting. From his third-floor window he could hear fragments of their conversation.

‘You -- monster!’

‘I wanna be the Witch--’

‘--ys get to be the Witcher!’

‘Because the Witchers are -- cle Jaskier says so!’

‘I don’t want to be a kimimomo! I don’t want to be the bad --’

Jaskier smiled at little John’s mispronunciation of the monster’s name. The kids, inspired by Jaskier’s songs, had taken to playing ‘Wicher and Monster’, with dramatic fake-out deaths and some accidental real injuries. It seemed that, even in the quiet, boring lands of Lettenhove, Jaskier could not avoid being reminded of the man he loved so dearly. The snow as white as his hair, his sister’s yellow dresses, the wolf statues at the entrance of the property, the children’s play, the notes with unfinished lyrics describing Geralt’s heroic actions Jaskier had left behind during previous stays… Every day there was something, no matter how small, that reminded him of the man he had lost. The soup that tasted exactly like that served in the inn where he had first been allowed to wash the Witcher’s hair. The snide remarks from his brother-in-law that seemed to come straight from Geralt’s vocabulary. Filavandrel’s lute, greeting him whenever he entered his room. Everything around him was another tiny dagger piercing through his skin, making its way to his heart and cutting yet another piece of it in half.

In vain (alas!) for everything

Which I have known belong to you,

Your form does to my fancy bring,

And makes my old wounds bleed anew.

It had been late spring when they had parted. It felt like they had barely reunited after winter, during which Geralt had visited his strange Witcher castle Jaskier was never invited to and Jaskier had spent his days teaching Ciri and nights playing his music at the Cintran court. And although he loved the court, Calanthe’s murderous glares when he accidentally mentioned Geralt had made him nervous enough to be happy when spring arrived and he could leave again, back on the road, following the person holding his rapidly-beating heart without even being aware of it. The dragon hunt had only been their fourth contract of the year, and after- After, when summer still stretched in front of him for another six long months, everything had felt off.

Sure, he had travelled, sang his songs at inns and bars and the occasional manor. Sure, he had met up with other bards, competed in a couple of sing-offs, written a handful of new songs which gained instant popularity. Sure, he had lived the life any normal, travelling bard did. But he wasn’t normal now, was he. He was Jaskier, Bard Extraordinaire, the best songwriter and lute-player on the Continent. His audience’s words, not his. He knew there was always something to be improved upon: a lyric that could be better, a beat he missed, a chord he botched. His audience might not notice, but he most certainly did. He would make quite an awful bard if he didn’t, after all. So, even though he did everything any other travelling bard would do, those six months had been strange. He had automatically found himself drawn to notice boards, turning around to inform Geralt of a contract only to be, once again, reminded the man was not there. No rhythmic sound of hooves touching the dirt during the day, no scraping noise of someone sharpening their sword near the campfire during the evening, and just his own breath breaking the silence of the night. It had been as if the world was ill, asleep in bed trying to fend off a fever that caused strange, surreal visions that gave everything normal a slightly sickly hue. Maybe his sister was right, maybe writing would help heal his broken heart.

Who in the spring from the new sun

Already has a fever got,

Too late begins those shafts to shun,

Which Phœbus through his veins has shot.

The playful screams of the children in the snow briefly silenced as the cheery voice of Molly the Cook called out that dinner was almost done. Jaskier knew that one of the kids would knock on his door soon, giving Uncle Jaskier the same message. Three stanzas in just as many hours, a poor yield for a poet of his stature. A sudden rage overtook him as he looked down at the half-empty paper. The words Geralt had thrown at him on the Mountain had felt fair at first, but after moping about them for while, Jaskier had realised that Geralt had been incredibly unfair. Him, shovelling Geralt’s shit? Yes, shovelling it out of his stable and onto the compost pile where it belonged. It was Geralt who created the shit around him, making stupid wishes that endangered the people around him, invoking the law of surprise less than fifteen minutes after learning Parvetta was a child surprise herself. Surely the Witcher knew that child surprises tended to give birth to child surprises, surely he smelled that Parvetta was pregnant to begin with. Even Jaskier had noticed that Parvetta had worn an unusual, slightly-out-of-style dress clearly intended to hide her abdomen. If Geralt had not been so incredibly self-centred, so incredibly self-absorbed and emotionally stunted he would have realised that his words were absolute bullshit. It had been Jaskier who had calmed Calanthe enough to not send hundreds of assassins after Geralt. It had been Jaskier who had tried to take the djinn away so the clearly exhausted Witcher would not do anything stupid. His wishes might have sounded idiotic, but they were clearly and precisely phrased, his mother had taught him enough about Fae magic for him to know djinns were just as tricky, if not worse, to deal with. Yes, Jaskier had shovelled the shit, but it was not his fault Geralt liked to dive into every single heap of manure he met. So no, what Geralt had said had not been fair. But by the time Jaskier had gathered enough of his wits to realise that, the Witcher had long been gone, and Jaskier’s promise had already been made.

Too late he would the pain assuage,

And to thick shadows does retire;

About with him he bears the rage,

And in his tainted blood the fire.

The sound of a wildly thrown-open door and a young boy’s voice shouting his name calmed the bard’s sudden anger.

‘UNCLE JASKIER DINNER’S READY MOLLY SAYS YOU NEED TO WASH YOUR HANDS!’ Little John, still carrying his stick, now ran into view.

‘Did Molly also say you were allowed to take your sword inside?’

‘A Witcher always carries his swords with him, you told me so! And I am a Witcher, not a stupid kimino- kimomo-’

‘Kikimore,’ Jaskier helpfully supplied.

‘Yes that. Will you tell Eddy? Will you tell him I’m a Witcher? I don’t want to be a monster, the snow is cold and wet when I fall down to die.’

Jaskier smiled at his youngest nephew’s petulant face. ‘Only if you put your sword back outside. True gentlemen don’t carry their swords to the dinner table, not even Witchers. Come, we’ll place it in the stables to keep it safe, and then we go wash our hands together, okay?’

‘Okay, uncle Jaskier. Can I sit next to you during dinner?’

‘Of course you can.’

Jaskier smiled at the young boy stretching out his arms to be picked up. If only life could stay that easy, with simple concerns like cold snow and fake swords. Jaskier knew, after all, it was impossible for him to stay angry. How could he hate the one he loved? The one who had, unknowingly, carried his heart for the past two decades, and would carry it for eternity and beyond? He would keep his promise to the Witcher, he would stay in his self-imposed exile, no matter the cost. A promise is a promise, after all. And just as he would keep the promise he had made to Geralt whilst feeding Roach that final, slightly crushed sugar cube, he would keep the promise he had made to himself whilst walking down the first mountain he and the Witcher had climbed to fight a supposed devil. I will love you till my dying days.

And, as he placed his nephew on his back, joking that ‘this horse will lead the noble Witcher to the stables,’ Jaskier mentally composed the final stanza he had struggled with for so many hours.

But vow’d I have, and never must

Your banish’d servant trouble you;

For if I break, you may distrust

The vow I made to love you, too.

#the witcher #the witcher ff #the witcher fanfic #jaskier #geralt of rivia #geraskier #geraskier ff #written by me #made by me #It is not that I love you less / Than when before your feet I lay (But to prevent the sad increase / Of hopeless love I keep away)#it is not that i love you less #onceuponadisneypotter #Half a Century of Poetry

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the-wonder-wall · 4 years ago

Note

Does your muse want to have kids? If so, how many and what’s the reasoning behind the number? ( your choice )

Cassandra:

She would very much love kids, ideally she's want two, no real reason other than that's what she feels is manageable. Money wise she could easily have more, but Cassandra isn't sure she'd have the energy for it and she wants to spoil her kids (but in a more healthy way, not like rotten)

Neylnn:

He's not opposed to kids, but he's in no rush either. He is very close to this android child, Zach, however. The kid pops up a couple times and just kinda chats with Neylnn, usually over a cup of thirium. The man has asked about where he stays and about his parents so many times and the questions are always conveniently dodged. Neylnn just always makes sure Zach knows he has a home there, should he ever want or need it. He suspects the kid is on his own.

Wyatt:

He'd prefer not to have kids. He doesn't think he'll ever be stable enough for them, financially or emotionally. He doesn't think he'd be a good parent either. If these things were fixed he would consider children, but only if he had a partner he loved and trusted very much. With that said, he'd never ditch his kid if he were to accidentally cause a pregnancy as he is now. He'd actually do everything in his power to get clean and live as childfriendly of a lifestyle as he could.

Willow:

In most verses, Willow has no real draw to children. But the reasoning in a lot of verses is very different. In Android it's because they're terrified of them, in Half-breed and Vampire it's because they don't want to pass on their health problems, etc, etc. Most Willow's don't want kids for one reason or another, none would reject their child however.

Trixie and Zlat:

They just don't want kids. Wouldn't reject one, but definitely don't want any.

Kelli:

Surprisingly enough, she actually adores children. While she won't actively seek out having one, in most verses she'll see a child and feel a longing to have her own. It would not take much for her to go "This one is mine" if she ever happened across a child in need of a home. With that said, pregnancy does scare her. So many things can go wrong. Her parental instincts are stronger than her will to live, and her will to live is strong.

#As a Team || All Muses #asks #the quantum repairman #tw children #children

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wxldchxld · 3 years ago

Note

🍎 : how stable is my muse’s mental health? have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they or should they attend therapy?

🍇 : how would my muse describe their childhood? how much has it impacted the person they are now, or will become as an adult? around what age did they or will they start to mature, and why? do they wish to go back to their days as a child, or have they embraced adulthood?

🍌 : is my muse inclined to help others, or will they only do it when it benefits them, if at all? what makes them this way? has it ever gotten them into trouble, or inconvenienced them?

🍓 : how is my muse typically seen by others? does it ring true to who they really are? does their reputation matter to them?

🥝 : does my muse have any ‘ unusual ’ habits, interests, and / or talents? do they hide it, or are they proud of it?

🍋 : what kind of diet does my muse have? do they eat regularly, or the standard 2-3 meals a day? do they have to be reminded to eat, or are they likely to remind others? do they cook, or have others cook for them? do they eat healthily, or not so much?

Harper is pretty neurotypical. She does have some childhood trauma relating to her father leaving and her relationship with her mother. Her mom was an active service member and this led to a lot of instability in her childhood.

See Harper's mom and her grandmother weren't on great speaking terms. Her mother never told her father about the pregnancy, and that caused a rift between them before Harper was even born. Her mother also struggled with alcoholism when Harper was younger and while Harper was never abused, her mom did make some very poor decisions and her grandmother wasn't always sympathetic, usually blaming her mom for her bad choices with money, and then getting even angrier when her mom wouldn't accept help even as they were on the verge of financial collapse. This lead to her grandmother calling DHR and some very messy fights that Harper heard.

Harper didn't walk away from her experiences with poverty and family drama unscathed. Her mom did eventually go to rehab, and her grandmother did eventually try to make amends with her before she passed.

This isn't even touching on Harper's attempt to reunite with her father and his rejection of her or her mother's rejection when she came out to her as a lesbian.

So Harper definitely needs therapy, but I don't have enough knowledge to put the name of a specific diagnosis on her other than childhood trauma.

I think she would describe it as pretty average. Not necessarily pleasant all the time, but she figures everyone walks away from their childhood with some kind of problem. She is ok with talking about it, but she isn't really ok with reflecting on it for what it is. Normally when she talks about it she's very detached and purposefully cold.

I think the question about maturity is---not great? Like I could say Harper had to grow up fast and learn to do things on her own because of all the alone time she had---but that's not maturing. Even as an adult, Harper doesn't have a lot of emotional intelligence.

Beck had a lot of alone time as a kid and she has her own issues with trauma, but I do feel like her years in the wild, having her freedom and her happiness, gave her a lot of time to reflect and to grow up emotionally and to kind of decide how she at least wants to try to act.

This is in pure contrast to Harper. Harper's alone time as a kid didn't do anything but cause her more pain. Harper may not love how her mother acts, but it is one of her only models of behavior. She gained the veneer of maturity that comes with learning to suppress your feelings and get your shit done, but she had very little emotional intelligence. This is why she often resorts to yelling and mean comments when she's angry or hurt. And the fact that she essentially learned to never cry and to combat her vulnerability with anger and it helped her get where she is now in life did not help that.

All that being said no. Harper would not like to go back to being a child. She might want to go back to being a teen. At the time she had Beck, her first love, and she also had actual friends that appreciated her and liked her for who she was. That's not something she really gets anymore. Idk if it'd be enough to make her want to go back tho.

🍌 : is my muse inclined to help others, or will they only do it when it benefits them, if at all? what makes them this way? has it ever gotten them into trouble, or inconvenienced them?

Harper is inclined to help when and if it gets her her way and given that the payoff is good enough. She's pretty self centered and apathetic to the general plight of humanity. In Marvel verses she lives in New York at the time of Loki and the most she'll ever say about the invasion was it was an irritating distraction that caused an inconvenient amount of damage to the roads.

She WILL help the people she cares about with no boundaries though. If someone she loves has a problem or a need she will attack it tirelessly and ruthlessly. If they're in danger there is no line she won't cross to protect them. But there are very, very, VERY few people Harper would do this for. And not to sound cliché but currently all of those people are ---- well it's actually just Beck lmao.

The reason she's like this could go back to her childhood and her experience losing her grandmother but I'm honestly not sure it's that deep? Harper is kind of selfish. She dislikes most people and distances herself from them in order to not feel guilty for her selfishness. It's not a great look, but that's the current state she's in for any verse you'll meet her in. Sure this does change in stories where she has time to grow, but never enough to make her a humanitarian.

Also no this doesn't really get her into trouble. She's pretty safe on top of the world.

🍓 : how is my muse typically seen by others? does it ring true to who they really are? does their reputation matter to them?

Most people see Harper as a shrewd business woman and or a downright bitch. I won't lie and say they're totally wrong, but there is a genuine person in there and her flaws are usually exaggerations of the things that are good about her mixed in with her trauma. So yes, they technically see who she really is, but they lack the context to understand her fully. And she both allows and encourages this misunderstanding because it's advantageous to her. It helps her maintain control in the business world but also in the magical one. She employs and is followed by a lot of incredibly dangerous supernatural beings. Literal thousands of vampires, witches, and werewolves do as she bids and submit to her lead in large part because they respect her power. So she kind of has to let people think she's a bitch, but honestly she kind of likes it too. She has taken the label with pride.

🥝 : does my muse have any ‘ unusual ’ habits, interests, and / or talents? do they hide it, or are they proud of it?

She's a necromancer so... Like that's pretty weird right? Specifically her research is focused on creating the perfect vampire in hopes of one day turning herself into a vampire without losing any of her magical abilities or having to be vulnerable to "silly" things like sunlight and garlic.

She also really really likes snakes and reptiles in general.

I think Harper genuinely tries to eat healthy. She doesn't have any like sensory issues with food and while she isn't immune to worrying about weight, also doesn't obsess over it. I mean she doesn't have to because she spends so much time and energy on working she probably couldn't gain a pound if she ate a literal weight. Magic can be very draining, and she very often gets so focused she doesn't eat for hours. Then she feels sick and doesn't want to eat anything and she sure as fuck isn't about to cook.

This was one of the great ways that she and Beck fit together. Beck loved to cook and would drop by the office or the lab with snacks (so long as she didn't have to get near anything dead or nasty) and she always made enough dinner for two even when Harper said she wouldn't be home in time. And Beck eats pretty healthy (usually) so it worked well.

She does have a cook who makes meals for her. She usually takes them for lunch and if she remembers to will take a break and eat. Harper certainly doesn't cook. She thinks it is tedious and all too often has burned something because she was trying to multitask and forgot and nearly set the penthouse on fire.

Her favorite is when she gets the chance to eat with someone else that she likes. She absolutely adores French food and has a go-to place for meet ups.

#bet you weren't expecting a goddamn book lmao #i'm sorry i'm just really excited to talk about harper #bokketo

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fmdtaeyong · 3 years ago

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restructuring update prompts

a prologue to officially re-introducing ash kwon // aka i decided to re-do this because i changed some parts of ash’s backstory and established career claims after i did this the first time and half of this wasn’t really true anymore rip

also there’s nowhere for me to put this in the answers anymore so i’ll put it here: circles is ash’s best song

content warning: mentions of alcohol abuse and drug use / abuse, but none of it is in-depth

assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different?

for the most part, ash’s general personality and character has stayed the same. he’s the same angsty, creative, romantic dude at heart, but he’s a little more jaded in some ways.

ash moved around before he became a trainee now. he lived in san francisco, sydney, and seattle. when he lived in sydney, it was just him and his mom and he grew really close to her during that time. he doesn’t really feel like he has a home at all since seoul is the longest he’s ever lived somewhere, but he’s less happy so that’s not home either.

ash is a better technical singer now ig, being a main vocal. he focused more on singing as a trainee now instead of dancing. his ankle injury in 2018 was a little more serious now, which is why he doesn’t dance much in his solo music anymore. it’s also why he’s less interested in dance, but, at the same time, i think it leaves more potential for him to re-develop some love for it again.

he’s also now the maknae, although it’s a common joke in the fandom that he doesn’t act like it. he debuted a year and three months younger than before and he feels a lot more beholden to the industry now. has even less of an idea of what he’d be outside of it at this point, even though he got closer to actually leaving it than previous ash ever did.

he’s still had a couple of minor attitude controversies in titan’s early days caused by cultural differences. he was in public relationships in 2016 and 2019. neither were received well for their own reasons. his clubbing habit has gotten him into some controversy, though bc has never issued a statement on it beyond that one time they had to confirm the woman in a picture of him clubbing was his girlfriend because people were trying to accuse him of cheating. he has a passionate anti gallery and obsessive sasaengs that make his life a living hell.

since renewing his contract, ash has also had a few hiatuses of varying lengths due to his physical or mental health. this was true before with how he naturally developed, but it’s more tied together now as a result of generally poor physical and mental health he’s been experiencing for a few years now after his dating scandals and his ankle injury in 2018.

his image is more streamlined now too! he never really had the era of being pushed as a cleancut boyfriend that old ash had around 2018. he’s been marketed as a musical genius / sexy bad boy rockstar / artist with a tortured soul for as long as he’s been majorly pushed individually. this means he’s still very sexualized, but he hates his image a little less because he can be a little more himself as far as personal style and self-expression through tattoos and piercings goes.

what does your muse think of their company and their group?

this hasn’t really changed. ash has no real love for bc entertainment and wouldn’t really care if titan disbanded tomorrow. some of their music is good and some isn’t (though he considers less of it terrible without wolf and gorilla in the mix lmao), but he feels he’s mostly outgrown it as an artist. not that it’s below him, but it’s not what he connects with creatively, which is far more important to him now than it had been when he’d first debuted. he doesn’t hold ill will toward his groupmates unless he feels they’ve given him an individual reason to, and actually feels more guilty toward them for getting involved in scandals and taking hiatuses more than anything, but they’re also not his best friends. he views titan as a purely work endeavor and he doesn’t feel bad about the fact he got about as close as possible to leaving them without actually doing so that he could back during contract renewals. after all, they’d be fine without him. he’s a main vocal, but they’ve got two others. he’s a dancer, but they’ve got two others. he can write music, but titan has never been his main priority there and others are more than capable of doing it. he wants out of both the group and the company but is starkly aware of the fact that he did this to himself when he re-signed out of what he now perceives to have been impulse and greed.

since titan is the seniormost active group under bc, ash tries to be a good senior to his company juniors in general, but there are certainly more welcoming alternatives than him. he worries about them from a distance more than anything else.

is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract?

he’s on his second contract and he definitely regrets renewing. he hadn’t planned to renew for the longest time the lack of privacy and the public criticism and the hate he’d received were just too much, and he had plans that would require him to stop being an active idol, namely marrying his girlfriend of two and a half years at the time. their relationship wasn’t stable enough at the time for that to be a good idea and that was proven when they broke up shortly before final negotiations for contract renewals, but ash wanted an excuse to escape and the idea of a happy, normal life more than he wanted to be rational.

spite after the (very brief lmao) break up was part of his decision to renew, but bc entertainment also offered to support him as a songwriter and producer in addition to allowing him to regularly release solo music. he still really loved music and his first taste of promoting as a solo artist had been right before renewals as a proposal to sway him into re-signing, so he was swayed to sign on for seven more years. they followed through on their promises, but he struggles to weigh the recognition he’s earned as a solo artist and songwriter-producer against signing his life away again and doing a number on his physicla and mental health. most of his health issues and his hiatuses have happened during his second contract, as well as several behind-the-scenes situations that could have become scandals if they’d had any less luck, mostly stemming from ash drinking too much and his occasional recreational drug use, so he’s not sure bc even really feels the contract renewal was entirely worth it.

what are your muse’s goals and motivations?

if you asked ash this, he wouldn’t know what to answer. he doesn’t feel very motivated these days and pretty much feels like he only does anything because he’s contractually obligated to. making music as a form of expression has long been his main drive, and beyond that, the desire to make a mark on the world he can be remembered by through his music, but he often oscillates now between feeling like there’s not much more he can realistically achieve and the sense of hopelessness that he can try as hard as he wants, but his music’s never going to be what he’s defined by when he’s a public figure with an image.

he also feels a duty to make his parents proud. though i could argue that might be less now than it was in the previous iteration of ash, it’s still very much there. they let him come to seoul when he’d just turned thirteen to follow a dream that many never get to follow all the way through to the end and they believed in him fully. they express how proud they are of him when they do talk, but he doesn’t know that he believes them. he doesn’t feel that anything he’s done has been deserving of paying them back for everything they’ve given to him.

right now, he wants to be able to feel excited about his life and what he’s making again. he’s trying to better himself internally in regards to the way he views himself and his mental health, although he’s more prone to still taking steps backwards there than he was at this point previously. a lot of the ways ash has found to feel that excitement and creativity he wants (such as recreational drugs and excessive alcohol consumption and fleeting, sometimes toxic, relationships) do damage to his mental wellbeing, so it’s a balancing act at the moment.

what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?

i covered this partially with the last one, but one major conflict remains his internal conflict about his passion for music. this was very much where ash was before as well, but now that i’m really pushing songwriting and producing as his main career path, it presents a more equal professional and personal challenge for him.

more than having truly lost joy in making music, he’s burnt out. his latest album lovesick was emotionally exhausting because it was a partially rushed, deeply personal and vulnerable album exclusively based on an unhealthy relationship that had stretched its hold on him out over for almost six years, and then he went into making music that he couldn’t relate to at all and didn’t really fit his image all because bc thought it would sell well.

the burn out in his personal life has affected the burn out in his professional life he would be feeling anyway and made it ten times worse. it feels more hopeless because he doesn’t have much else going for him. in the past few months, his relationship with alcohol and drugs also reverted back to unhealthy after he was doing better with it for a while, not helped by a really bad stint with his mental health. all of this was at its worse in june before he went on hiatus, and in this universe, his behavior was more of a factor in his hiatus than him practically begging to leave the group because ash is more resigned to the fact that he chose to sign back on with bc and that that’s on him. instead, there was more of a push by his manager, who knew that ash was on the road to a major scandal if action wasn’t taken.

almost all of his conflicts are internal right now. he’s become successful enough that external factors other than the large umbrella of having to remain in titan can be negotiated, but he’s too tired to do so because of everything going on inside of him. there’s a lot of negative feelings going on inside of him, and he’s trying to deal with them one by one, but it’s hard to see the weight of them easing that way.

if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.

ash has been able to establish himself a little more as a songwriter and producer outside of his solo music. he wrote “universe” for titan in 2017, and after that, as promised, bc hooking him up with the right opportunities and connections to establish himself more. since then, in addition to his heavy involvement in his solo music (his 2020 album lovesick was entirely written/composed/produced by him alone), he’s worked on calypso’s “rollin’” in 2018, polaris’s “fake love” (a korean music awards song of the year!) and “the truth untold” in 2019, and lily’s “i’m so sick” this year. i’m planning on more being added there with these extra ecp and maybe some refunded since i think i’m going to drop some of his points claims to streamline his career better.

his canon discography creative claims reflect his progression as a songwriter, from very earnest and romantic to more sensual to very uhhh angsty and personal to developing a more polished and professional sound as he grew in experience as a songwriter and producer.

ash is praised for having several representative works as a songwriter that all speak to his individual style, and ash is happy with what he’s gotten to do since he does genuinely enjoy working as a songwriter and producer.

he’s planning to continue branching out in this direction, so look for quite a lot of ash dabbling in canon discographies in the future. before, i’d say ash’s primary push was solo music, but my plan for him is for songwriting and producing to be his main career path from now on with solo music as a close secondary.

#famedrstask1 #+10 ecp

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kannojo · 4 years ago

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doin this because @atendersun wanted me to and i love her, full homo

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

FULL NAME. Hannah Kent

NICKNAME. None

GENDER. Female

HEIGHT. 5′1″

AGE. 21

ZODIAC. Libra

SPOKEN LANGUAGES. Hannah is able to speak and understand any language and dialect, as long as there is another person present speaking it.

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

HAIR COLOR. Dirty blonde

EYE COLOR. A bluish-green jade

SKIN TONE. Rather tan, as she gets a lot of sun and doesn’t burn

BODY TYPE. Endomorph, on the curvy side with slight pudge around her belly, arms, and thighs. No matter how much energy she burns, she can’t seem to lose all her baby fat.

VOICE. Doesn’t have a particularly deep voice, it’s smooth and nice to listen to, only getting high pitched when she’s overly excited.

DOMINANT HAND. Right, but her left hand isn’t completely useless, either.

POSTURE. She doesn’t necessarily carry herself in a proud way, but her back is straight and her shoulders are even, her posture definitely confident, but not in an overbearing way.

SCARS. Considering her ability to heal physical wounds, she is unable to maintain any scars.

TATTOOS. None

BIRTHMARKS. Nothing extraordinary, just typical tiny dark marks here and there on her arms, shoulders, and back.

MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). Two simplistic wing ‘marks’ on her back between her shoulder blades. They’re rather small, but unlike the rest of her flesh, they’re translucent and glow a faint blue.

PLACE OF BIRTH. Unknown

HOMETOWN. Verse Dependent

SIBLINGS. Technically Lucy, though she considers her more her own daughter.

PARENTS. Mistral has taken a parental role on both Hannah and Lucy, as Hannah has casually taken on the woman’s last name, Kent.

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

OCCUPATION. She works for Mistral at her Cafe and Bakery, doing pretty much everything from taking orders at the counter, to baking the treats and pouring coffee, to cleaning after close.

CURRENT RESIDENCE. There’s a rather large and cozy apartment above the shop in which the three girls reside, making it easy to run the shop and keep tabs on it.

CLOSE FRIENDS. While it can vary between verses, I like to have Hannah be good friends with both of my muses Opal and Edna.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Verse Dependent. Tho @atendersun is her main squeeze rn

FINANCIAL STATUS. Since Mistral is very wealthy, owning her own business, still receiving royalties from old projects and careers, as well as many successful investments, Hannah gets paid very well alongside this, as well as Mistral paying for most of Hannah’s needs, which leaves Hannah sitting on a pretty coin or two.

DRIVER’S LICENSE. Ye, she’s got a license, though she doesn’t drive very often (she don’t need to, the bitch can fly- it’s mostly to hold appearances in certain cases)

CRIMINAL RECORD. Clear, Hannah’s done some very illegal stuff (murder) but she’s very good at not getting caught and keeping her tracks clear. Killing the kinds of people who can’t seem to stay in jail are her personal hobby, as well as making it look like freak accidents.

VICES. A bit too quick to kill. Sure, she could get them properly arrested and tried for the crimes, but why leave them to the corrupt judicial system with the risk of more people being hurt? (as well as being a waste of tax payer money, I might add) Hannah has a long list of rapists, pedophiles, and serial killer skeletons in her closet, and she isn’t the least bit remorseful.

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫��𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

SEXUAL ORIENTATION. Demisexual/Demiromantic, she very much thrives off of an intimate connection, usually needing one before sexual acts. Though it is verse dependent for the most part, one’s environment often affecting the libido and attraction levels. She does have a heavy preference for men, but she’s had a couple romantic instances with women in past threads.

PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. She is more of a provider of emotional comfort than a receiver. While she does very much crave having it in return, it’s more comfortable for her to be that for someone else, than to trust someone that much and be the more vulnerable one. It would take a lot of trust and development for her to allow someone that much power over her.

PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. She’s a switch through and through, depending on her mood and who she’s with. If her partner is more of a bottom, she gravitates to a more dominant role. If she’s with a person who’s a top, she’s more submissive. Though in either instance, there will be times when she craves the latter, not always in the mood for the same thing.

LIBIDO. Hannah’s libido is attached to her romantic attraction. If she doesn’t have anyone she’s interested in, it’s rather low and she’ll masturbate infrequently. But in a relationship, her libido skyrockets and she’s very forward and blunt once she trusts her partner enough.

TURN ON’S. Seeing the person she likes being good with her daughter is a very big one- if Lucy’s happy, she’s happy. The person smelling good is also a big one, but her biggest one would have to be moaning. She’s very much driven by that alone, so pegging is a favorite of hers ofc. She’s also spurred on my seeing her partner wet, like after a shower or sumn. As well as her ears and neck being kissed, she likes that too!

TURN OFF’S. Smelling bad, being bad with kids, and entitled behavior. She doesn’t like being ordered around in bed, asking nicely will do wonders. Prideful behavior will also turn her off, not a fan of a self important braggarts (but then again, who is?)

IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. Hannah’s not a super touchy feely person, but when it comes to people she loves, she can grow very physically intimate. She’ll often want backrubs or head pets, and in turn will do the same. She also like to give little gifts- nothing extravagant, but her partner can expect her to bring them their favorite drink or treat when hanging out. She’s not a super romantic person either, prone to simple “I love yous” and general words of appreciation, you won’t be getting a wall of text on your birthday describing her undying love for you is what I’m saying lmao

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. Angry Too by Lola Blanc

HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. Reading, playing story based video games, p much just getting lost in fictional worlds that she one day wants to visit in person

LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. Right.

PHOBIAS. No real ‘phobias’, but her biggest fear is outliving the people she loves, which she ultimately will do.

SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. Hannah has confidence in her abilities and strength, though she lacks confidence in her humanity. When comparing herself to others, it’s not a test as to who’s ‘better’, but more that she wishes she have a more simple life sometimes.

VULNERABILITIES. Physically, her heart is her only weak point, and she’s also hindered by colder temperatures, much weaker in icy climates and frigid temps. Emotionally, she struggles with admitting her insecurities and worries, wanting to appear stable and in control, when she really still feels like everything she’s worked for could crumble in an instant.

#┇•❁• ⊱ ◦ angel's breath ⊰ hannah musings; ⊱#voila #das a long ass post so imma #;long post #hell yeah #HERE U GO CHRIS U WHACK ASS HADES LOVIN BITCH #im gonna go do my drafts now so here's this fuckin BOOK #i should make one for edna later too #she's cool #i would date edna

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ladyfogg · 4 years ago

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May I? - 20/?

Fic Summary: Ensign Faith Diaz struggles to hide her mental illness from her fellow shipmates aboard the Enterprise until an intrigued Data goes out of his way to try to understand her behavior. At his insistence, Faith tries to figure out what she’s truly passionate about and eventually seeks the professional help she needs. Fic Masterpost.

A/N: Hey guys! I’m back. Sorry for the delay. this chapter gave me a bit of trouble. Also, I’ve been playing a LOT of DND lately and it’s eating up all my muse. Anyway, I hope to have the next update sooner than this one. Enjoy.

Fic Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Data/Female OC

Warnings: tw: depression, tw: anxiety, fluff, friends to lovers, eventual smut

Screenshot by @geekygwen

Faith didn't know what to think. Her emotions were running rampant, though part of her was still in complete shock at what she had witnessed. She had never seen that look in Data's eyes before. The strength of his punches was unfathomable. Honestly, she was surprised Fajo was still alive.

His normally serene face had been twisted into a frightening mask of rage.

“What happened over there?” Riker asked as he led her to sickbay.

She told him the events of the evening, in short, clipped tones that made it clear she didn't want to talk. Riker listened, stoic face remaining passive until she mentioned Data losing control.

Only then did his mouth twitch into a frown, eyebrows knitted together with worry. Yet, he didn't look surprised.

“Has this happened before?” Faith asked.

Riker nodded. “Once. Not too long ago. With a Borg who was attacking him. Data said he ‘felt' angry.”

“This wasn't anger, Will. This was rage.”

She'd be lying if she said she hadn't been scared of him. In that moment, when he turned to look at her, his fists covered in Fajo’s blood, she didn't know what he was going to do.

Seemingly sensing her distress, Riker put his arm around her shoulders. “Listen, Faith. Data would never do anything to hurt you. You know that right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course. It was just...it was scary to see him lose control that way.”

They arrived at sickbay in time to see Beverly and her staff rushing to stabilize Fajo. Once he saw the scope of the man's injuries, Riker seemed to give Faith a look of understanding.

He led her over to one of the empty beds, making sure she sat before he left her side.

“How is he, doc?” Riker asked Beverly.

“He's been severely beaten. There is massive internal bleeding and several broken bones,” Beverly listed as her assistant injected Fajo with a hypo. “His pulse is weak but steady for the most part. I think he's going to live.”

Faith sighed with relief. It wasn't for Fajo’s sake however, it was for Data's. If he had killed Fajo, she did not know how he would take it. She suspected he was already confused and overwhelmed as it was.

He had always been adamant that he could not feel emotion. She felt he could on some level, in his own way. Now it seemed he was evolving, experiencing emotion from a human perspective.

And I shied away from him when he probably needed me, Faith thought, angry at herself. Way to go, Faith.

Riker and Beverly spoke in hushed tones but Faith was too lost in her own muddled thoughts to try to eavesdrop. She watched Dr. Crusher and her staff move quickly, doing everything they could to take care of Faith's captor.

It took some time but eventually, Fajo was stable. Riker left to go report to the captain and it was then that Dr. Crusher came over to help Faith.

“Not exactly the romantic weekend we discussed, huh?” she teased with a soft smile, gently examining Faith's broken wrist.

“I mean, it was great right up until we crashed. I'll tell you all about it sometime.”

Beverly smiled. “You better.” She gave Faith a hypo for the pain before she went about closing the cut on her cheek and setting her wrist.

For the most part, Faith was still and silent. She felt awful for how she reacted to Data and knew she had to talk to him. But she suspected the captain would have a lot of questions for him and there was no way of knowing how long he'd be tied up.

“You're good to go,” Beverly said as she wrapped a brace around Faith's wrist. “The break is healed but I want you to wear this for a few days to keep it straight. Only take it off to shower. Other than that, you need rest. Your body is exhausted and not just from the injuries.”

“No, not just from that.”

Beverly looked at Fajo before glancing back at Faith. “Did he hurt you in any other way?”

Faith shook her head. “No, nothing like that. Just this and a phaser blast to the hip a few days ago.”

Beverly ran the tricorder over Faith's old injury. “Minor internal bruising but that's about it. Again, I prescribe rest. At least a day or two before active duty.”

“Easier said than done.”

“Do you want something to help you sleep?”

“Yes.��

Faith knew she wouldn't be able to rest on her own. Beverly seemed surprised at her immediate acceptance of the help.

“There are a few homeopathic remedies programmed into the replicators,” she said. “I'll send you my favorite. If that doesn't work, some see me and we'll administer something.”

“Thanks, Beverly.”

She smiled and patted Faith on the knee. “It's good to see you in one piece.”

“It's good to be back.”

As Faith was getting to her feet, the sickbay doors opened and Deanna appeared. Faith knew the counselor was looking for her. She had suspected she would be sought out once the Oz’ods were handled. She was sure her wild emotions had hit Deanna the moment she appeared on the transport pad.

“Hey, counselor,” Faith said with a wry smile. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Oh hush you.” Deanna gave her a big hug, which Faith returned. “We were so worried about you.”

“I'm okay. Honestly.”

Deanna glanced at the unconscious body of Fajo, then back to Faith. “Let's walk,” she suggested.

Faith allowed herself to be led from sickbay, eager to get back to the familiar safety of her quarters.

“How bad was it?” Deanna asked once they were out of earshot of anyone.

Faith didn't answer at first, unable to verbalize her feelings. Deanna didn't push, only kept her arm around the young woman as they walked.

“It was the worst thing I have ever experienced,” Faith admitted. “We were separated at first and I had no idea what Fajo had planned or was trying to accomplish. He used me to get Data to do his bidding.”

“And Data did it.”

“Yes. Eventually, we were allowed to be together but we were obviously being watched. If it wasn't for the Oz’ods help, I don't know what we would have done. How did you find us?”

“Once we were able to establish communication with the Oz’od we had in custody, we realized what was happening. They were able to tell us about Fajo’s ship and where he liked to orbit. Once our repairs were done, we immediately began the search.”

“I'm glad you did.” Faith leaned on Deanna for support. “All I wanted to do was get us back home.”

Deanna squeezed her shoulder. “Well, you're here now and it looks like Fajo got what was coming to him.”

“Will Data be reprimanded for what he did?”

“I can't say. I do know I want to see him twice a week now instead of once.”

“He must be so confused.”

“You are as well.”

Faith sighed deeply. “I am. But I can't think about that right now. This isn't about me. I need to be there for him. I was so cold to him a few minutes ago.”

“You're entitled to your reaction,” Deanna said. “It is not an unusual response to detach yourself emotionally from an emotionally charged moment. Data will understand if you explain it to him.”

Faith fell silent. Her body felt like it weighed a ton and her steps became harder to control. She briefly wondered if Beverly had secretly slipped her something but more likely it was the lack of proper sleep and sudden drop of adrenaline.

Deanna showed her to her quarters, pulling her into another firm hug. “Stop by tomorrow afternoon and we'll talk more, okay?”

Nodding, Faith hugged her back. “I will.” And she meant it.

Once she was alone in her quarters, she realized that it was the last place she wanted to be. She had been alone too long over the last few days. She couldn't stand it anymore. After gathering a few personal items, she immediately left, heading for Data's quarters instead.

When she arrived, Barclay was just getting there as well.

“Faith! You're back!” he said. “It's...it's good to see you. I was just about to feed Spot.”

“Thanks, Reg,” she said. “I'll handle it. I think Data will be tied up for a while. He appreciates you taking care of Spot for him though.”

“It's no trouble, she's a very sweet cat,” Barclay said.

He took in her disheveled appearance, along with her wrist brace. “Are you alright?”

“No,” Faith admitted. “But I will be.”

“If-If you ever need to…” Barclay stopped himself. “I mean...I better than anyone understand anxiety.”

Faith smiled. “I'll keep that in mind. Bye, Reg.”

He gave her a small wave as she slipped into Data's quarters. Just seeing the familiar surroundings was enough to put her at ease. Spot came out from the closet, stretching and yawning. When she saw it was Faith, not Data or Barclay, she turned around and went right back to her sleeping space.

“Nice to see you too,” Faith chuckled.

She replicated Spot’s dinner, then sat on the bed to wait for Data.

It felt strange to be back. Over the last few days, she had lived in a near-constant state of heightened anxiety, and to finally be in a safe space was disorienting. Spot came out to eat and once she was done, she seemed curious about Faith and wandered over.

Faith was surprised when the cat headbutted her leg, rubbing herself along Faith as she asked for attention.

“It's just because I'm the only one here, isn't it?” Faith chuckled, reaching down to scratch the cat behind her ears.

The cat jumped onto her lap and began loudly putting. Faith continued to stroke her soft fur, finding the action oddly soothing.

It was only twenty minutes later when the doors opened and Data stepped in. As soon as she saw him, Spot meowed and made a beeline for her owner.

“Hello, Spot. It is good to see you as well,” Data said, picking the cat up. His eyes fell on Faith and he gave her a look of surprise. “Faith...you are here.”

“Would you rather be alone?” Faith asked, reaching for her bag. “I can go back to my quarters.”

“Please stay,” Data insisted. “I was under the impression you did not wish to be in my company.”

Faith winced. “I'm sorry I made you think that. I just needed some time to process what happened.”

“I understand.” Data put Spot back down before he joined Faith on the bed.

They both remained silent as if neither one knew what to say to the other. Data was the first to speak.

“Faith, may I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Do you no longer wish to be a couple?”

She had anticipated his question, remembering how he had mentioned something similar during their first date.

“Oh, Data, babe.” Faith wrapped her arms around his arm, hugging it close. “Of course I still want to be with you.”

“That is a relief. I was concerned my outburst may have changed our relationship.”

“Well, I mean, it has,” Faith said. “But not in that way.”

“In what way are you referring?”

Faith wracked her brain trying to find a sufficient way to explain her muddled thoughts. “Seeing your partner in such a raw emotional state is bound to change things. You've seen me broken down more times than I can count. I guess, with all your talk of lack of emotions, even though I firmly believe you feel things your own way, your outburst completely blindsided me.”

“Me as well,” Data said. “It has not happened that way before. I was not anticipating it.”

“I know that now. I should have realized it then as well. I'm sorry for pulling away.”

Data studied her closely. “Faith, are you frightened of me?”

Faith took a deep breath. “In that moment, I was. But I'm not now.”

“I do not wish for you to ever be frightened of me,” Data said. “I cannot control these new emotional responses and if I hurt you in the process, I will be unable to forgive myself.”

Faith cupped his cheek, pulling him into a kiss. It was deep but chaste, meant to provide comfort when her words could not.

“I trust you, Data,” she said when their lips parted, her forehead coming to rest against his. “Whatever is happening to you, whatever emotions you develop, we'll figure them out together. I promise.”

“Thank you, Faith.”

They embraced and remained sitting for some time until Faith remembered they still wore the clothes Fajo forced them into.

“I should change,” she said, drawing away and plucking at the ruined dress.

“As should I,” Data agreed. “You may use my lavatory if you wish to wash.”

Faith gave him a coy smile. “Will you join me?”

“While my skin does occasionally become covered with dirt, it eventually cleans itself so I do not require…” He paused, realizing what she was offering. “I see. You are being solicitous.”

Faith giggled. “Yes, I am. In a sense. We don't have to engage in anything sexual. I just want to be close to you.”

She slowly stood, offering her hand to Data. He studied her with curious attention, his brow furrowed in the most adorable way.

“Yes, I will join you.” He accepted her hand.

Faith smiled and led him to the washroom. Once inside, she turned on the shower, making sure the temperature was to her preference before turning back to Data. He remained stock-still, clearly unsure of how to proceed.

Taking the lead, Faith removed the shawl he had fashioned for her before turning her back on him. “Can you unzip my dress?”

Data's hands were gentle as they took hold of the delicate zipper, dragging it all the way down until the fabric around her loosened. She sighed when she felt his hands glide across her skin beneath the fabric, pushing it off her shoulders.

The flimsy fabric gave way easily, pooling down her curvy frame and falling to the floor. Faith stepped out of it and towards the shower, disposing of her brace along the way. With an inviting glance over her shoulder, she smiled at Data before stepping into the shower.

The cascading hot water immediately put her at ease. She heard the rustling of fabric and then Data was there with her. She turned to face him.

It was strange seeing him in such a human setting. Faith never realized how much she truly saw him as an android. She needed to do better, to be better. She needed to see him as a person, no different from herself.

When she kissed him this time, he responded, one arm sliding around her waist while his free hand cupped her cheek. The heat from the shower and their bodies was intoxicating. It made her head spin.

How could I fear this man? This sweet, wonderful man? she thought to herself, moaning softly as his tongue hesitantly prodded her lips.

She opened for him, allowing him to taste her as she molded to his slick wet body.

“Faith.” He breathed her name between kisses. “My body is becoming aroused.”

She could feel the swell of him against her stomach and it sent a bolt of pleasure through her. “Mmm, mine too,” she hummed in response.

“You did mention not doing anything sexual. If we continue kissing this way that will not help the situation.”

Faith chuckled, pulling back slightly to peer up at him through her thick eyelashes.

“Probably not. Do you wish to stop?”

“If you wish to continue, we can.”

Faith looked him directly in the eye. “Data,” she said. “Do you want to stop?”

He processed her rephrased question, studying her closely. “Yes,” he said. “It has been a long day and you need your rest.”

Smiling with understanding, Faith gave him one last peck before withdrawing from his arms. “Okay, you're right. I am feeling a bit woozy.”

“Let us finish washing and then get you to bed.”

Faith took Data's hands and covered them with soap, gently scrubbing the dried blood off his knuckles. She knew he could do it himself but she didn't want to pull away this time. She wanted to show him that she wasn't scared anymore.

Data watched her closely and though he remained silent, she was sure the symbolism was not lost on him. He helped her clean herself next, hands ever so gentle as they spread the lather across her light brown skin.

After they finished, Data stepped out and brought Faith a large fluffy towel. Together they dried off and dressed in fresh clothing.

Faith wore a pair of loose pants and a large shirt while Data had his uniform.

“Dr. Crusher says the replicator has some home remedies to help me sleep,” Faith commented once they left the bathroom.

“I shall get you one,” Data insisted.

Faith combed her fingers through her hair, leaving it loose to dry faster. Once she was comfortably seated in bed, Data brought her a steaming mug of tea.

“I believe it is what is known as ‘Sleepytime Tea’,” he explained. “I added honey to sweeten it as I know you do not like bitter tea.”

“You're the sweetest, thanks.” Faith took the mug and allowed it to warm her hands. “Are you going to jump back to work while I sleep?”

Surprisingly, Data shook his head. “I do not feel it is appropriate to work after such an ordeal,” he said. “I would much rather provide you comfort at this time.”

“Are you sure? I really don't mind. I like falling asleep to you working. It's soothing. I know laying here can be a bit boring for you.”

“I want to lay with you.”

Faith smiled at his words. “I'd love nothing more.”

She drank her tea and slipped under the covers while Data disposed of her mug. He joined her a moment later, immediately pulling her into his solid embrace.

Although Faith was exhausted, she couldn't bring herself to sleep. Even with being comfortable and safe in Data's arms, her brain would not rest. The tea had made her drowsy but she still fought it. The irrational part of her brain kept making her picture Fajo bursting through the door at any moment.

“Faith, can you not sleep?” Data asked after some time had passed.

“I'm afraid to close my eyes,” she admitted.

“We are on the Enterprise. You do not need to be afraid.”

“Logically I know that.”

Data nodded with understanding. “But anxiety does not follow logic,” he finished.

“Exactly.”

“Computer,” Data said. “How many lifeforms are currently in these quarters?”

“Two lifeforms: human and feline, as well as one android.”

“Computer, are the locks enabled for these quarters?”

“Affirmative.”

Data offered Faith a smile. “Does that help?”

She smiled back and snuggled closer, allowing her eyes to finally close. “Yes, it does. Thanks, babe.”

Data kissed her forehead. “Rest now, mi alma.”

Faith opened her eyes again, staring at Data in awe. “Data…?”

“It is the term of endearment I have chosen for you,” he explained. “Do you not like it?”

“I...I love it,” she said, voice thick with emotion.

Data smiled softly and adjusted the blanket around her. “Then I will continue to use it.”

Faith smiled back almost sheepishly, heart skipping a beat as the memory of her native language sliding so effortlessly off Data's tongue.

As she drifted off to sleep, all she could think about was the meaning behind his words. He had often mentioned his thoughts on spirituality and the idea of whether or not an android could have a soul.

She was honored that he had decided he did and that she was it.

#commander data #lt commander data #Data Soong #data tng #star trek next generation

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himbowelsh · 4 years ago

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Valentines day alphabet for runner? Thank you for all of these i know they must be a lot of work ❤️🌟❤️

valentines day alphabet ( accepting! )

they sure are, darling, thank you for being so sweet! i’m steadily working through them, so... heeeere’s runner!

A : AFFECTION. how does your muse show affection?

Even if he’s all about that physical affection --- and he is, he can be all over people sometimes --- he’s also surprisingly quiet about it. In tender moments, he’s happy just to share space with someone; being around them, soaking in their energy and observing their body language, is Runner’s most lowkey form of affection. He’s a people person deep down --- he just likes, needs to be around people.

B : BOUQUET. does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

Uhhh --- yeah, flowers are nice. They sure do... grow places, huh? He’s absolutely hopeless with flowers; he’ll pick a half-wilted bouquet up at the supermarket just to try to be romantic, and fail miserably when they fall apart before he can even get them home.

C : CHOCOLATE. does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

He has a hoard. Like a dragon. He’s stockpiling for the winter, and no, he does not want to share. (Give him M&Ms any day, he’s got a problem.)

D : DATE. what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

He’s a movie theatre guy, honestly. He just loves the atmosphere of the place. Uncomfortable seats, popcorn to munch on, a good movie playing, and a room dark enough that he can get frisky with his partner without anyone seeing --- sounds like heaven to him.

E : EMBRACE. does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Oddly enough, for someone who’s so liberal with physical contact, he’s weird about hugs! Mostly because he doesn’t think he’s good at them. When he gets hugged, he tends to fidget; and when he gives them, he’s never quite sure where to put his hands. Better stick to the friendly ol’ shoulder clap, buddy.

F : FLIRT. is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

Oh, he’s an inconsummate flirt. He’s flirted with grandmothers on the bus before --- just because it makes them blush and smile. Flirting’s something Runner has a lot of fun with, even if it usually doesn’t go everywhere. He’s got wolfish charm and he’s not afraid to use it.

G : GIFT. is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

He’s hit-or-miss. While he really does try every time, his gifts are usually low-effort, something he can just pick up at the corner store. If he’s planning a grand gesture --- and, don’t get him wrong, he’s definitely the grand gesture type --- it goes above and beyond just a gift. He’ll get a cake and try to set off fireworks. Finding something just right for a birthday or anniversary... is harder than just doing something for them, somehow.

H : HEART. is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

Actually pretty judicious about it all. Runner’s been burned before, so he’s understandably cautious. If he’s going to give his heart away again, he wants to make sure it’s to the right person --- so he’ll keep things casual and superficial for as long as possible. The moment he really opens up to his partner emotionally, he knows he’s in for the long haul.

I : I LOVE YOU. does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

It terrifies him, honestly. He doesn’t know how to be that... emotionally open with someone, especially not if he’s the one expected to take that leap first. It would be very tough for him to say it; he’d echo it if his partner said it to him, but it’d sound like he was speaking in a foreign language, until he gradually warms up to the idea of being loved. (Once he gets there, he’ll enjoy saying it at random times, just to make his partner blush.)

J : JEALOUSY. does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

It’s not something he likes about himself, but he’s definitely got a jealous streak. It stems from a hint of insecurity, plus knowing the pain of being cheated on before; he doesn’t like seeing his partner cozy up to people who aren’t him. What’s wrong with that? He won’t follow them around or read their private correspondence, but if they’re out in public and he feels ignored, he’ll make his presence known.

K : KISS. is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

The sort of guy who grins into the kiss, and it’s sexy until his partner kisses teeth. He’s pretty intense; Runner’s taught himself to focus while kissing, and it works to his advantage in every way. He’s all about the feel of his partner against him, finding a rhythm that works for them both. There’s a decent amount of grinding, but he’s sparse with touches --- one hand grazing his partner’s back, another hovering over their waist before switching just as quickly to their ribs. He riles his partner up through sensation alone, stirring them up with touches and eager caresses until they’re practically moaning into the kiss. (By that point, he can’t help grinning, but they’re usually in too deep for it to kill the mood.)

L : LOVE. who does your muse love?

Runner’s loyal to his friends to a fault. He won’t just throw down for them, he’d take a bullet for them without question. Coming from a big family, he’s just as ride-or-die for all his siblings. It might be covered under a thick layer of salt, but Runner’s got a big heart, and loyalty is his best trait.

M : MOONLIGHT. is morning or night a more romantic setting?

He’s all about nighttime. There’s so many things to do, places to do them in, and shadows to keep anyone else from noticing them doing ‘em.

N : NAUGHTY. what is your muse like in bed?

A bit of a tease in bed, but switches gears very easily --- one moment he could be nipping at his partner’s collar to make then laugh, the next his eyes are pitch black and he’s captured his partner’s gaze like he’s never going to let them go. Runner is boundlessly energetic in bed, but knows how to pace himself --- he likes to go as long as possible, so it’s not unusual to end up in bed for hours. A bit of a biter, but never excessive with it. Loves having his hands in his partner’s hair, just keeping his fingers tangled there while he works... and he’s definitely the sort to leave a trail of marks all over their body, just so they remember he was there afterwards.

O : ODE. does your muse have a way with words?

Not like some people --- coughLeckiecough --- who like to think they’re the next goddamn Lord Byron. Runner’s down-to-earth, and his speaking style reflects that. He says what he means, and doesn’t beat around the bush. Not much flower to his words, but he gets his point across fine, thanks.

P : PARTNER. what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

He wants someone with a sharp sense of humor --- who can give as good as they get, and quip right back when someone challenges them. Maybe someone on the athletic side --- he’d love a dancer --- but definitely someone with an healthy appreciation for sports. Would probably do better with an extrovert. He loves loud laughter, and has a soft spot for off-key singing. Maybe someone with good fashion sense, he’d love that... and, above all else, someone who’d do anything for the people they care about.

Q : QUESTION. would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

Runner would absolutely plan something elaborate --- like proposing on a jetski, or on the top of a mountain, or on an amusement park ride --- and have something go incredibly wrong. (It’s the ring. He lives in terror of losing that ring, because at some point he will.)

R : ROMANCE. is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

Can someone be a cynical romantic? He definitely leans more towards the cynical side, but there’s a part of him that wants romance badly. He wants to have a happy life with someone he cares about, but fully acknowledges that that’s easier said than managed. He’s no textbook casanova, but has an offbeat romantic streak that only reveals himself during his most unguarded moments.

S : SWEETHEART. did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

Sure did. Several, actually. A few girls in grade school were head over heels for him, and actually got into fights over it. That’s how Little Bud first learned to fear the fury of women, and understood what a tricky thing romance could be. (He kissed two of them under the jungle gym. When the girls compared notes, they were so furious that they both never spoke to him again. Eh, it was fun while it lasted.)

T : TRUE LOVE. does your muse believe in true love?

He... has this idea of love in his head, the sort of love that just feels like belonging. It’s comfortable, and stable, and not electric whatsoever... but when it comes down to it, that’s the kind Runner wants. He definitely desires passion, but... in his opinion, real love goes beyond fire, straight down to the bedrock beneath.

U : UNREQUITED. has your muse had their heart broken?

He’s been on the bad end of a cheating relationship, more than once. Not total heartbreak --- Runner’s a resilient guy --- but he knows how much it hurts.

V : VALENTINE. how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

Genuinely not his thing whatsoever. He’ll let his partner take the lead --- basically, tell him what to do and he’ll do it, otherwise he’s content staying in, eating nachos, and doing nothing the entire night.

W : WEDDING. would your muse get married? why / why not?

Definitely. There’s a question he doesn’t even have to think about. His Mom would kill him if he ended up unmarried, and Runner hates the idea of spending his life alone --- he absolutely wants to end up with someone, it’s just gotta be the right someone. While he won’t rush into things, he absolutely sees marriage in his future.

X : XOXO. does your muse use / like pet names?

Serial nicknamer. It’s an issue. Sometimes he’ll throw out nicknames just to get under peoples’ skin (re: Peaches) but they have a bad habit of sticking. He doesn’t use common ones like “honey” or “sweetheart” with his partner, but he will give them a variety of creative nicknames.

Y : YOURS. does your muse get protective easily?

Aside from his jealous streak... not very. Runner trusts the people he’s close with to be able to handle themselves. He won’t jump into a situation unless it’s obvious that they need help, or he sees something he really doesn’t like. Usually, he’ll wait until the other person gives a cue --- then he’ll come in swinging.

Z : ZZZ. how many people has your muse slept with?

He... had a frequent partner or two back home, and picks up a few girls in Melbourne. About 4 - 5 partners, so he’s no novice (even if he acts more confident than he has a right to.)

#runner conley #the pacific #headcanons #Anonymous

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hammurabicomplex-a · 4 years ago

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@bayoubaron said: C U T E / accepting.

C : CHOCOLATE. does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

yes, very much so. pat eats very healthy on her day to day, so she won’t have it often, but chocolate is one of her favorite guilty pleasures. her favorite is milk chocolate with strawberries, or rum truffles.

U : UNREQUITED. has your muse had their heart broken?

many times, but i’d say the most noteworthy was, of course, benjamín ortíz. it’s obvious that their “relationship” was extremely problematic from the beginning, but pat really didn’t see it that way as a young girl. she was very, very in love with him, to the point where she would do anything he asked. and he took advantage of that in every way. he not only put her in harm’s way and exposed her to some of the most violent, dangerous parts of the business, but he was also abusive in their day-to-day. pressuring her to do things she clearly wasn’t comfortable with ( including sexual things ), demeaning her interests, isolating her from her family and friends.

and, of course, it ended with him sending 5 men to beat pat almost to death, knowing she was pregnant with a child he talked her into keeping. i refrain from posting a lot of details of what happened that day ( even if i have a thousand headcanons about it ) because i fear it’s too disturbing or triggering, but it was by far the most traumatic and humiliating experience of her life. benjamín shaped the way she sees and behaves in relationships to this day. the kind of heartbreak she’ll never actually heal from.

T : TRUE LOVE. does your muse believe in true love?

she wants to believe in it, but she’s not too sure if she does. she has intense emotions, and every time she falls in love it feels like the end of the world, but 9 times out of 10 her relationships are volatile and intense and toxic. not her idea of a soft, peaceful true love, the kind of love that feels like home. those illusions were shattered by benjamín, and most of the time she doesn’t believe she’ll ever be emotionally stable enough for that kind of relationship.

E : EMBRACE. does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

yes yes yes. physical touch is her primary love language and hugs are a sure way to show love or affection or appreciation. however she’s often hesitant to hug people ( even ones important to her ) in fear of how they’ll react to it, if it’ll be welcome or not.

her hugs are often long and tight; she wants to be as close as possible. if you’re looking for that quick hug with a pat on the back kind of thing, pat’s not the one for it. with partners, she also likes wrapping her arms around them from behind and resting her head on the back of their shoulder or between their shoulder blades.

#bayoubaron #❝ CH. STUDY. ╱ empieza el matriarcado.

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caramizie-vrajitoare · 4 years ago

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Frost blue, peacock blue, reddish brass, burnt umber, champagne, tea orange, baby blossoms, sanguine, black

frost blue: does your muse enjoy the snow and cold? or are they the type to enjoy summer more?

Wanda’s favorite season is the fall. I know, cliche, but she really enjoys Mabon and Samhain as well as the Jewish holidays of: Erev Rosh Hashanah, Rosh Hashanah, Erev Yom Kippur, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, and Simchat Torah. The cool weather is a relief from the heat of summer and the colors are so rich and vibrant.

peacock blue: is your muse honest? what sorts of lies do they tell, if not?

Wanda is fairly honest. She finds it better to tell the truth than to hide behind lies which will only lead to anguish later.

reddish brass: how likely is your muse to step up and take the role of a leader? are they willing to take the challenge, or are they more apt to being a follower?

She will certainly step up and take the role of a leader. Her biggest regret is that she has been unable to stop the violence against her people ethnically and religiously. Therefore, she will do what she can to make sure that problems get solved nonviolently. Wanda welcomes the challenge. She enjoys it.

burnt umber: how stable is your muse, mentally and/or emotionally?

Wanda is very stable mentally and emotionally for the most part. She knows that her powers are tied to her emotions and that she also can have quite the fiery temper. Therefore she engages in daily meditation and yoga to calm her mind so that she does not let her emotions get the better of her.

champagne: does your muse drink (alcohol)? are they a heavy drinker, if so?

Wanda is not much of a drinker. She prefers to drink socially if she drinks at all. When she does partake, her preferred drink is wine or slivovicija.

tea orange: what is something that your muse is fascinated with?

Wanda is absolutely fascinated by astronomy and astrology. She is not a believer that it determines who we are since she believes that character is fluid and ever-changing. However, she is interested in the attributes which people assign to themselves, ascribe themselves to the universe, and how they enact these attributes through their daily lives. The sociology of it is what fascinates her rather than the astrology itself.

baby blossoms: does your muse have a favorite scent? what is it, and why?

Her favorite scent is probably sage and incense. The smell of it reminds her of her mother and their grandmother as they saged their home mingling with the scent of myrrh of the chapel where they went to worship. There was almost always a small stick of incense burning at the home’s private shrine to St. Sava, the family patron saint, as well.

Wanda regularly has the same incense burning at her private shrine to the Virgin Mary in her home. She also can also be found drinking Sage tea.

sanguine: does your muse typically have an optimistic, pessimistic, or some middle ground outlook on life?

Her outlook on life is typically some middle ground. Her philosophy on life is: We hope for the best, but deal with the reality.

black: does your muse have a 'bucket list?' list some things your muse wants to accomplish before they die.

I wouldn’t say that Wanda has a bucket list per sae. Her only bucket list is to live her life to the fullest. She has been many places and seen many things. She wants to appreciate the opportunities and experiences she has and those to come.

#{headcanons}#{headcanon | the witch}#{ask answered}

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goofygoldengirl · 5 years ago

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Ok Since I’m Now On A Roll Let’s Talk About The Ambiguity of Gabriel Agreste’s Questionable Romantic Displays Of Affection

So you might be asking, Goofy why the heck is there a subplot in my Y7 show about a single woman falling in love with an evil married man and who would do anything, including sacrifice her life for him? And why hasn’t this sadistic evil bastard taken a stance and flat out rejected her like a good married man should? Why are we, the audience, subjected to a multitude of scenes of borderline adulterous content, while the somewhat dead wife in the basement only gets a five second blurb?

Fear not, I have an explanation and it’s not “if this were an adult show, Gabriel and Nathalie would be already knocking boots because tropes” Firstly, let’s look at this sad, strange, little man.

Gabriel “you’ve had enough emotions go to your room” Agreste has trouble emoting. If this was a dude whose go-to for solving any problems was repressing his emotions until the breaking point, then Emilie’s coma-death made him go haywire man. I mean, this is a dude who picked up being a super villain as a coping mechanism for his wife’s illness. He has major anger management issues, and any emotion that isn’t that is coldness that makes you want to grab a sweater every time he walks in the room. Perhaps in the happier past, he might have been more emotionally open and stable, but isolating his only son from having any kind of social life for a good part of his life, suggests the contrary. And guess what he’s also lacking due to not being able to express his emotions in a healthy way? The joys of human contact and affection! Yes! Gabriel Agreste is touch starved. The scene from Jackaddy/Simon Says where Gabriel hugs Adrien was meant to be laughably awkward on purpose. His inability to keep his hands off of his secretary has a deeper meaning. If anything goes, then it’s safe to assume that unfortunately like how it is with most men who do not have deep friendships who constantly use their wives as a therapist, Emilie Agreste is probably his only source of emotional solace. Because duh, when shit hits the fan, you’re not gonna complain to your son are ya? And considering the distance between him and Adrien, he’s probably of that rich money belief that children should be seen, not heard, and definitely not emotionally coddled, or that he just cannot relate to people in general who aren’t his wife. Or Nathalie. Which brings us to the next point:

Does Gabriel love Emilie? The show has told us yes. He’s married to her. He’s trying to bring her back while falling deeper into the rabbit hole of chaotic villainy. But does it tell us what the dynamic between the two was like?

NOPE.

For all we know, Emilie could have been a saint. She would have been his inspiration, his muse for every design he ever created, he probably would have worshipped the ground she walked on, and every wish was her command. By god she was his queen, and no one messes with the queen. With that level of devotion and tangible passion, it sends every couple from all the romance movies you like to cry to at three am in the morning running. Or she could have been a nightmare where every single topic of discussion was an arguing point, a divorce was threatened at least once a year, but man the eventual makeup and that brief tiding over of bliss was so fiesty and raw that there was no way in hell that they’d actually go through with it. Or maybe even, their relationship was painfully normal. A married couple with ups and downs that is exacerbated by Gabriel’s poor emotional regulation and expression. So these possibilities tell us that either:

A) Gabriel is just a man who really loves his wife, has no emotional support, and is trying to get by however he can, but has no clue his secretary is hitting on him and thinks she’s just being really supportive, or is too caught up in grief to notice it.

B) Gabriel is just a man who really loves his wife, has no emotional support, knows his secretary is hitting on him, but has no idea how to set boundaries because who else would he confide in?

C) Gabriel is just a man who really loves his wife, no emotional support, knows his secretary is hitting on him, and is this close to having a breakdown because he loves his wife, but Nathalie has taken up that wife role and it’s tearing him apart Emilie!

D) Gabriel is just a man who really loves his wife, has no emotional support, but just majorly fails in his relationship with Emilie. Lack of emotional regulation leads him to seek affection elsewhere, and boom! Gabriel not pushing away Nathalie’s every touch and embrace makes so much more sense. Also if you count the crack theory of Emilie’s twin sister he’s definitely Felix’s dad It’s the age old excuse of I’m a man and I’m definitely gonna cheat, but I’ll still feel guilty about it which maybe makes my quest to bring back my wife much more epic

In conclusion: Gabriel has the emotional range of a teaspoon, his interactions with both Emilie and Nathalie are questionable for a reason, and we won’t know for sure to what extent his love runs until we find out more about our dead wife in the basement disappeared mom

This character analysis was brought to you by a meatlover’s pizza, coca cola, and cinnamon monkey bread. Now ima go trick or treat!

#miraculous ladybug #gabriel agreste #emilie agreste #character analysis #nathalie sancoeur #ml theory

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shih-coulda-had-it · 5 years ago

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this is not a girlfriend (1/?)

Summary: Yagi Toshinori gets the wrong idea about his mentors. It is, as Nana earnestly frames it, of paramount importance that her young charge have a positive reference for relationships.

They should’ve known fake relationships never go according to plan.

*Shimura is Nana’s maiden name; no canonical husband, no Kotarou.

1 - 2 - ?

The thing was, Shimura Nana had never thought of dating Sorahiko.

They had met on the job maybe five years ago, and been work-partners since. Thrown into the same case, and then paired for patrols around the prefecture… the two of them had spent hours upon hours in each other’s space. Nana comfortably labeled him her best friend, surpassing even Megane Akira in best friend level (mostly due to presence, a little due to her level of synergy with Sorahiko).

He had helped her with One for All. Sacrificed a lot of down-time and goodwill with Recovery Girl to ensure that Nana had control over it. Didn’t ask for anything but a platter of taiyaki every training session.

Now, jokes and winks and nudges had certainly been made about their nonexistent relationship. Nana could retire if she had a yen every time someone assumed Sorahiko was her boyfriend, or if her parents hinted about ‘fertility’ and ‘handsome young man.’

Sorahiko never mentioned an interest, and so Nana gratefully moved through life only slightly infatuated with her partner. They’d seen each other’s ugly and ungraceful sides too many times to think idealistically, and had only ever shared a bed once. Because they were both cheap and were loathe to pay for an extra bed in the hotel.

(They built a pillow wall, and they pretended like everything was normal so well, Nana fell asleep between one word and the next. She woke up at the crack of dawn knowing that he’d broken the pillow wall; he’d entangled their limbs together; he was the one snoring weakly into her hair. Thank goodness Sorahiko wasn’t fully coherent and awake until ten in the morning.)

“Toshi-kun,” she says calmly, to hide the hysterical laughter. “Can you repeat that?”

Big blue eyes blink up. Calf-eyed. Guileless. Yagi Toshinori, even at thirteen years of age, is a charmer. “Are you getting Gran Torino-sensei anything for Valentine’s Day? I tried asking him, but he just said,” and here he puffs out his skinny chest and speaks like he’s gargling gravel, “‘We don’t need cheap gifts.’”

Nana gives up the ghost. “Bahaha! He would say that!” And completely neglect to cut the underlying problem, geez. Her young charge believes that they’re a couple. Should she correct him? “What does your mom usually do?”

He shrugs. “I dunno. She and otou-san… I dunno.”

Oh. Nana had done her research on Yagi Toshinori, even though a Quirkless thirteen year old boy shouldn’t raise any flags whatsoever, but even a routine background check won’t look into the marital health of the kid’s parents. She wonders if she and Sorahiko represent a legitimately healthy relationship.

“I could give him a box of taiyaki,” she muses, just to keep their conversation going. Toshinori’s invested in this, she can tell.

“How unromantic!” he cries out, looking for the first time like a doting son. Oof. That sends pangs rattling through her systems. She’s never wanted to raise kids; she thinks she’d be pretty bad at the whole domestic thing. Now, if Sorahiko could be the stay-at-home parent—wait, bad thought. “Oh, but most couples usually exchange chocolates, I think. That’s what I see girls do at school.”

“And do you have a girl? Or boy?”

Toshinori’s expression is pure hang-dog. “No, oshishou.” He brightens again. “What about… flowers? Can guys get flowers?”

She ruffles his sunny yellow hair. “Yeah, buddy. Guys can get flowers.”

Transcript: Shimura Nana to Torino Sorahiko. February 10th.

SN: Sorahiko!

TS: Shimura.

SN: Did you know Toshi-kun thinks we’re an item? It’s so sweet! [Choking noises, presumably from TS.] Turns out, he asked you about us a week or two ago, and you just went all, ‘hrghh we don’t need cheap gifts hrrgh.’

TS: I—I don’t sound like that.

SN: Ch! Sure.

TS: Did you correct him? Do you need me to correct him? The little brat—

SN: Aw, it’s fine!

TS: It’s fine?

SN: What’s a little bit of bromance? All matters aside, I think we’re role models for the poor boy. Role models in having a healthy relationship, I mean. [More choking noises.] I think it’d go a long way to prevent some resentment towards parental figures if we, y’know—hey, are you okay?

TS: Son of a—no, I’m not okay. Are you telling me we should start a fake relationship for some brat’s feelings?

SN: Yeah! How hard can it be? We only meet each other at the park to train and spar! And for meals out… but that’s because you two are awful at nutrition.

TS: Vitamins don’t exist.

SN: Keep telling yourself that. Anyway, it’s not like he’s ever going to find out we don’t live together!

TS: Ghhk. Okay. Fine. You win. We’ll have a fake relationship for the kid, and once you deem the kid emotionally stable enough to see how people break up and maintain friendship, we go back to a world where we aren’t a couple.

SN: … Stop me if this is, um, invading your privacy, but…

TS: What, Shimura.

SN: You’ve had relationships before, right? Oh, shit, I didn’t even think about the possibility that you don’t like women. [Significant pause of five seconds.] Listen, listen, it’s fine! I’m, uh, into both, if we’re laying out sexualities, and I’ve been with both—

TS: Okay! I get it! Geez, Shimura. [Clearing throat.] No. I’ve never really—tried a relationship with anybody.

SN: General disinterest or…?

TS: Sure.

SN: Great answer! Very helpful! I won’t knock bed-sharing off the table, but I’ll make note of bed-warming, if you know what I mean.

TS: Has anyone ever told you off for innuendos?

SN: There’s a, snrrk, first time for everything.

She has an understated bouquet of yellow and red roses in one hand. In the other, she is holding a small, ribbon-adorned box containing two of her very-own taiyaki (which Sorahiko had been chasing for years, ever since she baked them after a case gone wrong). Currently, Nana was fielding questions from Toshinori, whose interest had reignited with a passion.

“So do you wear your ring on a necklace?” he asks, still in the early phase of his warm-ups. Otherwise, he’d be more focused on breathing and persevering.

Her heart skips a beat. Ring. Necklace. Wedding ring. “I keep it at home,” she answers. Smooth, Shimura. Your charge thinks you’re married. She’ll have to warn Sorahiko about the new development. “You never want to risk scuffing gold, eh?”

“Oshishou always thinks ahead!”

“If your oshishou always thinks ahead, she better have my goddamned breakfast,” Sorahiko calls out. Stomping across the field, duffel bag full of gear in hand, her very best friend in the world. Her fake husband. Who upon seeing Nana, comes to a sudden, bewildered stop. “Um.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Nana sees Toshinori pause his sets of push-ups. She bounds up from her seat with a grin, and flings herself towards Sorahiko. He catches her—she links her ankles at the small of his back—Nana kisses him for the briefest of moments. A childish ‘mwah!’ that gets her nothing but a low, strangled noise.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” she cheers.

“What the fuck,” he says against her cheek, dazed enough for his voice to be soft. Good. She hopes Toshinori didn’t hear that.

“Play along.” Sorahiko, despite his shock, sets her down gently. He stares at the box and the bouquet, and almost flinches back when she shoves them toward him. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” she repeats, a little slower, hintingly.

“Ah. Right.” He cradles the bouquet in one arm, and pops open the box. He’s silent. Long enough for Nana to worry about overstepping boundaries, and perhaps she shouldn’t have pushed Sorahiko to enter his first relationship knowing it had an expiration date—he abruptly ducks down and kisses her. Misses the mouth almost entirely. “Thanks.”

#bnha #nanahiko #shimura nana #gran torino #torino sorahiko #yagi toshinori #shih.txt #thanksgiving gift; christmas is gonna be a lemon ;)#wanted to post art but it's hectic in the house right now #this is not a girlfriend!au #*EDIT: MOBILE TUMBLR IS BULLSH!T

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