#your intent and the underlying sentiment are lovely; it's the analysis i disagree with

[muppetminge]

The woman is not wearing makeup and a short skirt for male attention. She is doing that because it gives her gender euphoria as a woman.

We can agree insofar as she's not necessarily deliberately doing it for male attention - she might indeed be doing it for herself, in the sense that it makes her feel confident or attractive, or any other range of notions. The average woman is not, however, doing it specifically because it makes her feel some vague concept of 'womanly'. These ideals of beauty are only connected with a female identity because we've societially decided that they are. Corforming is deeply ingrained in the human psyche as herd animals; it is, however, only healthy to evaluate what we're conforming to, as to not do so blindly. Makeup and short skirts have nothing to with womanhood. Women were just as much women before the modern idea of femininity came to be, just as we'll be when it's died or transformed, just as we are today when we reject it.

Or, said in another way: When she goes home and puts on sweatpants and takes off her bra, it's not because of any change in perception of her own gender identity; she's still just as much of a woman as she was in the get-up. She's just allowed to be comfortable in her own skin in the privacy of her own home.

That man is experiencing intense levels of gender dysphoria and he needs help.

No, that man is being mysogynistic. He doesn't engage with women's media because he considers it beneath him and intellectually shallow; he rejects everything connected with femininity because he considers it 'emasculating', because his view of woman requires them to be below him; he can't be caught 'acting like a woman' because to him being a woman means being weak and inferior. Engaging with anything related to women and/or what we associate with femininity would require him to rethink his entire worldview, and he's not going to do that. A man like this needs someone below him, or he's the loser. We know he is anyway, of course, but that hardly matter if we're not the one he's listening to, does it? We wholly agree that this is no way to live, of course. Don't waste your time trying to save him, though, is my advice. Emotional labor might be awfully fourth wave, but really, it's not your - our - responsibility to fix these men. Your time is so infinitely more valuable than wasting it on that. Don't waste your energy on somebody who wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire and all that.

A cis man doesn't "feel uncomfortable" when he paints his nails for the first time, he gets dysphoric.

No, he feels emasculated, humiliated, frivolous - in essence, how he considers a woman. He knows, too, how other men will see him - need we get into the interconnectedness of misogyny and homophobia? The connotations of being a sissy, a faggot, a girl?

Just like the cis woman who wears jeans during summer because she forgot to shave her legs and is embarassed about it.

She's feeling embarrased because of societal pressure to be hairless - a state that of course has nothing to do with being a woman, as the very natural presence of body hair on all of us will tell you. This of course leads back to the systemic dehumanisation of women (you must be doll-smooth, an expensive commodity; not a mammal, comfortable in her skin, not a person in her own right) and capitalism (buy buy buy! get our new razors to fulfill your worth - you don't want to be a slob, do you?), but I won't bore you unnecessarily on that note.

I agree in principle with your notion of dysphoria being more common than we think, OP, and that this is entirely unrelated to a trans identity. I do not think we benefit from attributing oppresive systems to this. Saying that women wear make-up, restricting clothes, high heels, whatever the flavor of the day might be, due to some sense of 'gender euphoria', feeling like a woman, is saying that these things have anything at all to do with being a woman, is validating the existence of social pressures to conform to this idea of womanhood - a woman not participating in any of this is just the same a woman. Saying that a man being sexist is just dysphoric is making excuses for his utter vileness, is confirming his notion that he's correct - don't, for the love of gd, give him anymore words to validate his perception of the world. He's not your ally; he won't do the same for you.

The world would be a better place if cis people understood the concepts of gender euphoria and dysphoria as things that everyone experiences, not just trans people.

The woman is not wearing makeup and a short skirt for male attention. She is doing that because it gives her gender euphoria as a woman.

On a more serious note, if a man doesn't feel comfortable to wear a pink shirt; eat a pink ice cream; listen to a female singer who is popular; express his feelings; drink fruity juices; hold his girlfriend's purse; say certain words; act with kindness towards his loved ones; apologize; deescalate conflict; watch a movie enjoyed by women; play with a small and fluffy animal; because he thinks these things make him look girly, less manly or "nor a real man", that is no way to live. That man is experiencing intense levels of gender dysphoria and he needs help.

I feel like people only look at men like that and laugh and call them sexist. Some of them might be and they need to be called out for it, but I feel like gender dysphoria is very common in cis men and we should be calling it what it is.

A cis man doesn't "feel uncomfortable" when he paints his nails for the first time, he gets dysphoric. Just like the cis woman who wears jeans during summer because she forgot to shave her legs and is embarassed about it.

Dysphoria happens to cis people, All. The. Time. Pass the message on.