#your honor as you can see here the defendant clearly stated on their blog that they do pose a threat also they reblogged memes about caesar

[melodyofthevoid]

for no reason in particular, do you or anyone you know pose a serious threat to residents inside the US?

What are you a cop?

[flightfoot]

Miraculous Ladybug and Conflict Resolution, especially when “what happened” is in doubt

So in Miraculous Ladybug, the episodes often showcase a particular method of conflict resolution and ways to defend yourself and others from attack, namely by trying to defuse troubling situations through talking things out, trying to get to the bottom of things but not jumping to conclusions, and de-escalating, which is usually what her canonical defenders like Adrien, Alya, and her parents, will do. They focus generally on defending and protecting Marinette from bad outcomes as well as they reasonably can, without being aggressive towards the people who’re going after her. 

In Rogercop, for instance, Chloe starts accusing people of stealing, and the mayor demands Marinette be searched. Something Tom’s having none of:

Scene: College. Mr. Dupain and the Mayor have a discussion.

Tom: Don’t even think about getting near my daughter or her bag!

Mr. Bourgeois: Do you know who I am?

Miss Bustier: Please, gentlemen! This is a school here! Think of the children! Surely the bracelet is around here someplace.

Marinette herself tends to favor a more aggressive approach, defending herself but also lashing out a bit:

Marinette: See, Chloé? I tripped on the bag, but Sabrina held the bracelet, Nathaniel sketched it, we are all suspects!

Nathaniel: Hey! What's that supposed to mean? I didn't swipe her bracelet!

Marinette: And neither did I! But when it comes down to it, Chloé can accuse anyone and everyone!

Chloé: Fine! Since you're a suspect, you'll have no problem letting me search your bag!

Marinette: Okay! As long as you also search everyone else's too!

Nathaniel: No one's searching my bag!

Tom: Marinette, let the adults handle this.

Marinette: Papa, she called me a thief! I'm just defending myself.

Tom: You're also accusing all of your friends like Chloé's doing to you!

Marinette makes some good points here about how she’s not the only suspect, but the way she does it makes it sound less like she’s just defending herself, and more like she’s dragging everyone else into this as well in order to provide some cover for herself.

Notice with Tom especially that he doesn’t actually interfere in the debate among the kids until Marinette pseudo-volunteers everyone else to have their bags searched, as well as her own. I don’t think that was her intent, but like Tom said, it DOES kinda sound like Marinette’s accusing her friends - something that could get her in trouble with them later if this escalates, since she’s putting them in the firing line of something that they weren’t originally the target of, even if it’s not fair that SHE’S in the firing line either.

Marinette has a strong sense of justice and fairness, and hates when someone - herself or someone else - is singled out when other people have done the same thing, and generally wants to be able to respond in turn, “turnabout’s fair play” and all.

You see Marinette’s defenders taking this sort of approach in Despair Bear as well, with concentrating on not jumping to conclusions or firing back or escalating a conflict when Marinette’s accused, but instead just focusing on defending Marinette herself, and discouraging going after her attacker directly.

Chloé: I saw a student leaving the classroom right before the alarm went off. It must have been her.

Mr. Damocles Really? Who was it?

Chloé: Let's see if she'll come clean. What do you say, Marinette Dupain-Cheng? (the students gasp in shock)

Mr. Damocles: Marinette, do you have something to tell the firefighter captain?

Adrien: Urgh, wait. Excuse me, sir! (Marinette pants) It couldn't possibly be Marinette. Why would she disrupt her own father's cooking class?

Alya: And I know for a fact that Marinette didn't even have her phone on her when she went out of the classroom.

Adrien and Alya just focused on defending Marinette herself, rather than going after the integrity of her attacker, which would’ve escalated the conflict quite a bit. They tried to keep it contained, and only interfered where they had to in order to protect their friend.

But Marinette has that strong sense of justice and fairness and DOES want to respond in kind, since she saw CHLOE on her phone before this, and if Chloe can make these accusations, so can she.

Marinette: I'm not gonna let her get away with this. I've gotta tell...

Adrien: Hang on, Marinette. We don't know for sure it was her. (He whispered to her ear)

Alya: He's right. Let's not stoop to her level.

(Chloé snickers.)

Adrien and Alya have a point. Chloe’s a jerk and is making this stuff up pointing the finger at Marinette, but she’d do that even if she WASN’T responsible just because she feels like bullying Marinette, and while it’s true that pulling the fire alarm is the kind of thing she would do, just because she WOULD do this, doesn’t mean she actually DID. Also, without solid proof accusing her is likely to go nowhere at best, and put a bigger target on Marinette’s back at worst. Alya herself experienced what happens when Chloe has half a chance to go after you, with a simple case of Alya photographing Chloe’s open locker, being escalated from something which would’ve gotten her an hour of detention at worst, to being suspended for a week because Chloe threatened the principal with sending the mayor after him.

Alya: I didn't break into her locker! It was open!

Mr. Damocles: And nothing was stolen?

Chloé: Only my very soul! My locker is my secret garden! He who enters uninvited burglarizes my inner being and steals my life force! (cries)

Mr. Damocles: Right. An hour of detention for you, Alya.

Chloé: Are my ears failing me? Did I hear you're giving one miserable hour of detention to a... a heinous criminal? Sabrina!

Sabrina: The school rules clearly state that any student guilty of theft should be suspended for one full week.

Mr. Damocles: Yes, but she's hardly stole anything.

Chloé: I'm not sure that my father would share your point of view. (prepares to call her father)

Mr. Damocles: Uhhh, well, now, Chloé, let's not bother your father, I mean, the honorable Mayor with a minor locker situation...

(Chloé starts calling her father.)

Mr. Damocles: Ehhh... what I mean is, you're suspended for a week, Alya.

Alya: What?! That is so unfair! I am so gonna protest this on the school blog!

Mr. Damocles: (looks at Chloé who's smugly shaking her phone, sighs) The school blog is hereby suspended as well.

Anyway, back to Despair Bear; when Chloe does outright admit, even brag to Adrien about what she did and with getting away scot-free, THEN he interferes, privately, now that he knows for sure what she did.

Chloé: (To Rose) Can't you see I'm trying to relax here? Go sweep somewhere else, Cinderella. (Rose whimpers and walks away and Adrien sees that Chloé made Rose cry while he was wiping the windows with a rag.)

(Adrien grunts and scolds Chloé by walking to her.)

Chloé: Adrikins!

(Marinette stares from a distance and grunts.)

Chloé: Of course it was me who called the fire department. So what?

Adrien: And it doesn't bother you that everyone's being punished because of you?

Chloé: No. Why would it? They all seem to enjoy getting dirty making cookies. How's it any different than getting dirty, cleaning floors? They should be thanking me if anything.

Adrien: (sighs) Chloé. How long have you and I been friends?

Chloé: Since we were adorable little tots, Adrikins. (Pouts)

Adrien: Well, I'm sorry Chloé, but I can't be friends with someone who treats other people like this. You've gotta be nice to people.

Chloé: N-nice?

Adrien: Yes, nice. It's not that hard.

Once he’s certain of the situation, knows that she doesn’t feel guilty at all and there doesn’t appear to be any deeper reason why she’s doing this, he puts his foot down and tries to get her to change her behavior as best he can - but not by attacking her directly, but by trying to give her a reason to change. And not by like, humiliating her or exposing her or whatever, but giving her a reason which minimizes the possibility of her lashing out and hurting others to try and “get back” at anyone.

You see this sort of thing in “Ladybug” as well. Again, Alya and Adrien concentrate on defending Marinette from accusations, while Marinette goes on the attack - for seemingly no reason for the people who don’t already KNOW that Lila’s a malicious liar who will deliberately try to hurt people, both physically and socially - something which only Adrien and Marinette have experienced with her so far.

Miss Bustier: Today, someone placed an anonymous note in my mailbox, claiming that you'd stolen the exam answers, and it looks like the anonymous person was right!

(Everyone gasps)

Marinette: But that's not true! Someone must've planted that piece of paper in my bag!

Miss Bustier: But you've answered all of the questions correctly.

Marinette: I did? Yes, but because I've studied.

Alya: Miss Bustier, Marinette always scores high on your tests.

Lila: This is so terribly unlike you, Marinette. You're usually so well-behaved.

Marinette: Of course! You put the answers in my bag! You're the "anonymous informer"!

Lila: (gasps) I'm coming to your defense and you're accusing me?!

Miss Bustier: You can't accuse someone without proof, Marinette.

Marinette: But I'm sure it's her! She stole the test answers!

Miss Bustier: That's impossible, Marinette. Lila got the worst grade in the class.

Marinette: Then... she flunked the exam on purpose!

Adrien: Excuse me, Miss Bustier, but everyone here knows it isn't like Marinette to cheat.

Alya: He's right!

Rose: It doesn't make sense!

Marinette’s sure it’s Lila because she’s the sort of person who would do this, but she and Adrien are the only people who’ve had the experience with Lila to KNOW that, and even then, she DOESN’T have any sort of evidence that Lila WAS responsible. The evidence incriminating herself may be planted, but it’s not like everyone else knows that.

Later on, after Scarletmoth’s failed akumatizations, Marinette talks with Alya about what happened and what to do next.

Alya: (on phone) So let's recap, right. You're accused of stealing the answers to the mock exam. Evidence 1: The paper with the answers was found in your schoolbag. You're also accused of pushing Lila down the stairs. No one witnessed the actual incident, but everyone did see Lila at the bottom of the staircase. You're also accused of stealing Lila's necklace, which was, Evidence 2, found inside your locker. And finally, you have a motive. I know for a fact that you've hated Lila from Day 1 because she hangs around Adrien.

Marinette: (sarcastically) I'm so glad I called you. Thanks for your support.

Alya: You're my best friend, Marinette. I totally believe you, but the evidence is stacked against you. The good thing is, the world's greatest reporters always seek the truth, so I'm gonna prove your innocence.

Marinette: (sighs in relief) Thanks, Al!

Alya: First off, a culprit always leaves clues. That's a given. And by following these clues, it will lead us...

Marinette: ...to Lila!

Alya: No, to the guilty party. If you're so quick to accuse Lila, you might just overlook another potential baddie!

Marinette: Oh. (laughing) Right.

Alya: Whoever it was had to have touched your locker when they put the necklace in there. I'm gonna go track down some fingerprints.

Alya goes through the evidence so they have a starting point, acknowledges how the situation works, but never actually doubts Marinette. She’s also very focused on proving Marinette’s innocence and trying to find the real culprit, but isn’t leaping to conclusions on what happened without solid evidence to back it up. Honestly? I think this is a good move. Even the bit of this that she gets a lot of flak for, with not wanting to jump to the conclusion that Lila must be lying about Marinette having pushed her, with it just being Marinette’s word against hers, makes some sense; from Alya’s point of view, it’s possible that someone or something else pushed Lila down the stairs, for instance, and she just jumped to the conclusion that Marinette did it because Marinette was near her.

Alya’s focusing solidly on defending Marinette and trying to identify the guilty party, but making sure she doesn’t leap to conclusions on what happened without doing some investigating first. First and foremost she wants to protect and defend Marinette. 

Adrien’s approach in Chameleon is somewhat similar, though he doesn’t even really know that Marinette’s being targeted specifically; he only saw the scene in the classroom, with Lila pushing to sit up front with him, and for Marinette to go to the back.

That’s another example of the conflict resolution in the series, especially Adrien’s approach: he sees that there’s strife, and tries to defuse it by offering a solution to solve both their problems - well, the problems that he’s aware of, with Marinette not wanting to switch seats, and Lila needing a seat in the front, even though that solution was detrimental to himself.

Marinette: Miss Bustier, why do I have to sit in the back now?

Miss Bustier: Do you have any trouble hearing or seeing, Marinette?

Marinette: Uh, I… I…

Adrien: My eyesight and hearing are good. I'll sit in the back of the class and you two can sit up front. I don't mind.

Marinette and Lila: No!

(Adrien looks at Marinette and Lila)

For the problems that have been stated, this WOULD have been a good solution. Pity those weren’t the ACTUAL reasons the two of them were fighting, but Adrien didn’t know that.

Like with Chloe in Despair Bear, he tries to talk with Lila privately later to try to get her to modify her behavior.

Adrien: Hey, Lila.

Lila: Adrien, we'll have to figure when you're gonna help me catch up on all the schoolwork I missed. I also heard you play piano, my uncle's the great pianist Chuch Boroughchuck. He wanted to teach me when I was little, but I had to stop playing because of arthritis. But when my wrist gets better, I'd love for you to give me some lessons.

Adrien: Lila, I'm perfectly happy being friends with you, and I'll gladly help you catch on your schoolwork, but please don't lie to me like you did last time with Ladybug.

Adrien: (in flashback) So I'm guessing you're not a descendant of a superhero, either.

Ladybug: (in flashback) She's more like a super liar.

Lila: Ladybug's the liar.

Adrien: I'm not judging you, Lila, but instead of making friends you're going to turn everyone against you. You can tell me if there's something bothering you. I can help. But you need to be honest with me.

Lila: Are you trying to be some superhero lecturing me just like Ladybug did? Well thanks, but no thanks. Ugh. (storms off)

Adrien: I'm still here if you need help catching up with your schoolwork. (walks away in a dejected manner)

Unlike with Chloe when he confronted HER about her behavior, he doesn’t know that Lila’s actively malicious here, even though she IS causing some strife. He’s honestly trying to reach out and resolve this conflict and try to change her behavior so she doesn’t cause problems, for herself and for everyone who gets caught in the cross-fire, like Marinette. At least trying to prevent more scenes like that morning. 

In the end, it doesn’t work. But he does at least TRY to talk to Lila first.

And then, there’s the infamous scene where he talks with Marinette about waht to do about Lila.

Marinette: (standing at a distance) Right ear?! Did she say right ear?! This morning she said that the ringing was in her left ear! I've got her this time! 

(prepares to walk up to the group but is stopped by Adrien)

Adrien: Are you going to tell everyone?

Marinette: 'Course I am. Lila is—

Adrien: (interrupting) A liar. Yes, I know. But do you really think exposing her will make things better? If you humiliate her, she'll just be hurt more. Making a bad guy suffer has never turned them into a good guy.

Lila: Ladybug and I are like two peas in a pod.

Marinette: So we just stand by and let her lie?

Adrien: As long as you and I both know the truth, does it really matter?

Marinette: You're right, maybe it's not such a big deal.

Adrien acknowledges her feelings and perspective, but is mainly trying to defuse the conflict between the two of them. He already tried to defuse things on Lila’s end and that failed, so now he’s trying to do it on Marinette’s end. 

The main goal here seems to be to de-escalate conflict - which all he knows of at this point, is that Lila’s an attention seeker and a liar and Marinette hates her because she hates liars, but hasn’t actually been “wronged” beyond being asked to go to the back of the classroom because of the seating rearrangement to accommodate Lila - an issue he tried to solve by changing seats himself, a solution that neither of them would accept for reasons that wouldn’t be clear to him. 

Exposing Lila at this point would just escalate the conflict, and with what HE knows, there’s not really a good reason to do so - she isn’t hurting anyone as far as he knows, and exposing her would likely cause her to lash out, causing harm to the people around her, and damaging the chances that she might change in the future - something which at this point, he still has reason to hope for, since he hasn’t seen or heard of her doing anything especially terrible.

He does continue trying to prevent as much harm and strife to Marinette as possible at least, changing seats to be with her so she doesn’t feel alone and so that the one “thing” that to his knowledge, Lila has actually DONE to Marinette (rather than simply existing within proximity to Marinette while telling lies) has as minimal a negative impact as possible.

(Everyone sits down in their seats; Adrien sits besides Marinette at the back of the class.)

Adrien: Good for you for taking the high road, Marinette. Hey, it's pretty cool back here. 

(Marinette giggles)

Notably, once he knows that Lila IS causing harm purposely and maliciously, with Oni-Chan, he changes his approach - still in ways that minimize conflict and the potential for things to spiral out of control with hugely negative consequences, but without extending as much benefit of the doubt and without trying to get her to modify her behavior so much, since he knows it’s useless. Instead, he gives her a warning:

Adrien: Nathalie and my bodyguard got reprimanded last time because of you.

Lila: I’m sorry, Adrien. Please, I didn’t mean to.

Adrien: Lila, you can always count on me. But not if you hurt the people I love. (walks away)

He changes his approach based on the new information he’s gotten on what she’s like, knowing now that she actually IS dangerous and harmful - which is good. He doesn’t want to start a fight, but he’s still trying to minimize the damage she causes.

Honestly? I think Miraculous Ladybug showcases some really GOOD methods of conflict resolution here, with focusing on not jumping to conclusions on who’s guilty without solid evidence (even if those assumptions are usually right in this case, it’s bad practice on the whole), focusing primarily on defending the person under attack, rather than lashing out at the attacker (that can escalate the conflict and prevent a good resolution that may otherwise have been reached, plus it can be dangerous to do if the attacker is more powerful/influential than the person being attacked), and when the guilty, harmful party IS identified, trying to modify their behavior so they don’t cause the problems in the future rather than trying to tear them to shreds, and shifting gears when they’ve crossed a threshold in the harm they’ve caused, or at least have proven that they aren’t willing to attempt to change.

The emphasis is on preventing harm first and foremost, rather than inflicting punishment.

[sachigram]

hi it’s me scrambled (=´∀｀) I think a one shot about highschool Shizuo and Izaya dealing with homophobia would be really interesting (saw it an ask on glaces blog abt it) and I can’t stop thinking abt it, sounds really interesting and kinda angsty (please don’t kill anyone,,,smh,,) but still sounds good! You’re amazing I stan you too hard I love your writing and I love everything about it <3

((Thank you! <3 So you...want me to write about someone with a death wish???? You want me to write someone being an ass to Shizuo AND Izaya? Ooh boy.))

Everyone at school knows about Shizuo and Izaya. They're kind of infamous, especially with the way Izaya spreads rumors around. At first, they just fought all the time, but most of the time they could wait until they were out of school to come to blows. Usually, they wound up being caught by Simon and then dragged into Russia Sushi for the remainder of the afternoon. Izaya would make scathing comments in Russian, and then Shizuo would launch at him, and then Simon would say something like, “Izaya only say he wants pickled radish! Why so mad, ShiZUo?”

To this day, Shizuo doesn't really understand what changed between them. He thinks maybe he caught Izaya, and Izaya kissed him out of desperation. Or maybe Shizuo kissed Izaya first. Once their lips met the first time, it didn't really matter who kissed who. They just kept kissing, and Shizuo thinks it's much better than fighting with Izaya all the time, though they do still fight pretty often.

Being in a sort of relationship with Izaya has many perks, actually, one of which being Izaya can help with homework. Sometimes Izaya is a real dick about it and he gets off on watching Shizuo struggle, but other times, like today, he's informative and indulgent. He's winding his fingers through Shizuo's hair while chattering away about some mistake Shizuo made on the English homework, and Shizuo is struggling to listen to what he's saying.

They're on their lunch break. They always meet on the roof, and sometimes Shinra and Kadota will come too, but today is one of those days where it's just Shizuo and Izaya, and Izaya is being touchy, and Shizuo forgets all about the past, present, and future tense on his worksheet.

“Are you listening?” Izaya asks. “You're going to fail.”

“Shut up,” Shizuo says. He presses his face into Izaya's neck and breathes him in, his hands going to Izaya's back. “You're distracting me.”

“Don't blame me for your short attention span.” Izaya sounds gleeful, and knowing him, he's distracting Shizuo on purpose. He'd laugh for hours if Shizuo failed his class.

There's no one else around, and it really wouldn't matter if there were. Even the teachers will struggle to separate the two of them when they argue in the hallways and inevitably end up making out violently.

“I don't think I'm gonna get it even if you keep talking about it,” Shizuo says into Izaya's neck. He lifts his head. “There's better things we could do.”

“You could eat your lunch,” Izaya says, but he's smirking in that way of his. Shizuo used to want to punch it off Izaya's face, but now he likes to kiss it.

“Nah, I wanna eat you,” Shizuo says, and he pulls Izaya's lips to his. Kissing Izaya is one of Shizuo's favorite things to do. It shuts Izaya up, and it always becomes a challenge to get Izaya so worked up that he becomes compliant. It doesn't usually take too long, but Shizuo refrains from getting handsy since they're at school. His parents have been indulgent about the whole Izaya thing, but Shizuo thinks it's because they'd rather Shizuo be fucking Izaya than actively trying to kill him.

He nips at Izaya's tongue, and Izaya shivers before crawling forward and straddling Shizuo's lap. This is dangerous— If they get too worked up, Shizuo doesn't think they'll be able to stop. Still, Izaya is persuasive, and he's tugging at Shizuo's hair, and then...

There's some annoying noise that's not either of them.

Shizuo growls and pulls away from Izaya, who turns and raises an eyebrow. Shizuo follows his line of sight and observes some guy he's never seen before.

“Takeda-san,” Izaya says smoothly, like he's not hard in Shizuo's lap. “Did you need something?”

“Who the fuck are you?” Shizuo asks, already pissed they were interrupted.

“He just transferred to my class,” Izaya says, and Shizuo grumbles.

“Uh, yeah, I was coming to ask you about homework. A girl in class said you'd be here with your...uh. Friend.” Takeda looks very uncomfortable, and Shizuo doesn't like the way he's looking at Izaya.

“Ah. I'll help you after break. I'm a little busy,” Izaya says.

“Is this like. Allowed?”

“Why are you still here?” Shizuo barks, and the guy narrows his eyes. It's been a long time since anyone at school glared at Shizuo like that. Most people are afraid of him, but Izaya just said Takeda is a transfer.

“What do you mean? Kissing? I don't suppose it's allowed, but no one is going to stop us,” Izaya says, and he grins at Shizuo playfully. Shizuo hugs him closer and noses against his cheek, growling impatiently. Izaya giggles.

“I'd just think you'd be a little careful, since it's... I mean, you're both guys,” Takeda says.

“So?” Izaya asks, and the look in his eyes changes. Shizuo recognizes it well. It means Izaya is about to make this kid's life hell.

“I'll just ask someone else for help. Sorry to interrupt your time with your boyfriend,” Takeda says, clearly not all that sorry.

“It's really no problem,” Izaya says. “I can—“

“No. I don't wanna talk to a queer.”

Izaya sighs, and Shizuo is up on his feet in an instant, carrying Izaya right along with him.

“Say that again,” he says, walking right up to the fucker. “I dare you.”

“Look, it's my first day. I'll just avoid you from now on,” Takeda huffs. He's looking Shizuo up and down as if he's trying to gauge how strong Shizuo is.

“No, you already opened your fucking mouth. So say it again.”

“Yes, Takeda-san, call me another slur. They really get me going,” Izaya purrs.

“It's just gross, okay? It's fucking gross, and you'd think the two of you wouldn't be in broad daylight sucking face like that. You should be ashamed,” Takeda says, and Shizuo clenches his hands into fists.

“Apologize to Izaya, or I'm gonna throw you off the roof.” Shizuo feels immense anger, but he also feels strangely calm. Usually when he loses his temper, he feels guilty about it because the other person might not deserve it. Now, Shizuo doesn't feel the least bit guilty.

“Fuck that, I'm not saying sorry to that—“

Shizuo punches him before he can continue. Takeda flies backward, but he's on his feet again fairly quick. He lunges at Shizuo, who punches him again, harder this time, and uses Takeda's dazed state to lift him by the back of the shirt and carry him to the corner of the roof.

“Dangle him upside-down,” Izaya says, and Shizuo gives him a look.

“Why?”

“Why not?” Izaya shrugs.

“Oh, good point.”

By the time a teacher makes it to the roof, Takeda is crying in fear, all the blood rushed to his head, and Shizuo is holding him by one ankle, threatening loudly to let him fall.

Shizuo avoids suspension when Izaya explains what happened, though he's still in trouble, and his parents don't seem pleased with him. He honestly doesn't care though. He never really considered people like that before, someone having a problem with Shizuo kissing Izaya just because they're both guys. It seems so trivial.

“Most people aren't like you,” Izaya says when Shizuo mentions it. They’re exiting the school together, hand in hand. “They aren't scary and strong. They get bullied.”

“Do you get bullied when I'm not around?” Shizuo asks.

“No. I have a reputation on my own.” Izaya turns and grins at Shizuo. “You protected my honor today, Shizu-chan. Heiwajima Shizuo, defender of gay rights!” Izaya shouts it right in the middle of the sidewalk, and other people turn to stare at them.

“Shut up!” Shizuo huffs, swiping for him. Of course, Izaya dodges him.

“No cops at Pride, only Shizu-chan!” Izaya sings, dancing around, and Shizuo grumbles before giving up and letting Izaya get whatever the fuck this is out of his system. It feels good to see him happy about something other than someone suffering.

“Want to come over?” Izaya asks after he finishes flailing around. “I'm sure you don't really want to go home right now.”

“Are your sisters home?” Shizuo asks warily. He likes the twins, but he doesn't like the way they keep pestering him for pictures of his brother.

“Nope. They have martial arts today,” Izaya says. He bats his eyelashes. “You have me all to yourself!”

“Lucky me,” Shizuo says, and though he means it sarcastically, it comes out sounding sincere.

[rainhadaenerys]

Sometimes I like to search for my own posts in other sites, especially because my book vs show meta is shared quite a lot. I saw someone share my meta on r/gameofthrones, and without fail, some Sansa stan came to say that I was biased, that I didn’t talk about Dany’s “dark moments” in the books, that show!Dany was actually whitewashed:

Wow. Wow. I am the one that is biased, clearly *sarcasm*. Also notice how this anti doesn’t provide a single book quote to support their wild claims.

“The only reason Dany took Astapor was for an army”

Then why did she free the Unsullied when she didn’t need to? Then why did she delay her invasion of Westeros to stay in Slaver’s Bay freeing slaves? Then why did she refuse Yunkai’s gold, Xaro’s ships, Quentyn’s alliance, all things that would have been given freely to her if she decided to leave, and instead chose to stay to ensure people’s freedom? Also, see this meta:

https://rainhadaenerys.tumblr.com/post/182893726737/tatticstudio55-i-didnt-think-id-have-the#notes

“She was ok with Drogo selling the Lhazareen into slavery, she said it was the price of the Iron Throne”.

Dany was a 14 years old girl who had no experience on war. Antis like to say that Dany convinced Drogo to invade knowing that he was going to enslave people to do it, but this is not an argument supported by the text at all. When Dany asks Drogo to help her take the Seven Kingdoms, no one mentions the need to sell slaves:

The khal's mouth twisted in a frown beneath the droop of his long mustachio. "The stallion who mounts the world has no need of iron chairs."

Dany propped herself on an elbow to look up at him, so tall and magnificent. She loved his hair especially. It had never been cut; he had never known defeat. "It was prophesied that the stallion will ride to the ends of the earth," she said.

"The earth ends at the black salt sea," Drogo answered at once. He wet a cloth in a basin of warm water to wipe the sweat and oil from his skin. "No horse can cross the poison water."

"In the Free Cities, there are ships by the thousand," Dany told him, as she had told him before. "Wooden horses with a hundred legs, that fly across the sea on wings full of wind."

Khal Drogo did not want to hear it. "We will speak no more of wooden horses and iron chairs." He dropped the cloth and began to dress. "This day I will go to the grass and hunt, woman wife," he announced as he shrugged into a painted vest and buckled on a wide belt with heavy medallions of silver, gold, and bronze.

"Yes, my sun-and-stars," Dany said. Drogo would take his bloodriders and ride in search of hrakkar, the great white lion of the plains. If they returned triumphant, her lord husband's joy would be fierce, and he might be willing to hear her out. - Daenerys VI ADWD

That’s it. That’s the moment Dany asks Drogo to help her take the Seven Kingdoms. There’s no mentions of selling slaves at all in their conversation. We don’t even know if Dany is aware or not of what taking the Seven Kingdoms is going to take. Given how young and inexperienced she is, it doesn’t seem like she gave much thought about the ugly aspects of war at all. Besides, it’s only after the wineseller tries to poison Dany that Drogo mentions that he will rape women and enslave children in Westeros, and at this point, Dany doesn’t have much of a say, because Drogo didn’t decide to invade Westeros because Dany asked. He decided to invade Westeros because the lives of wis wife (his property) and his son were threatened. This is an affront to his honor, his decision has nothing to do with pleasing Dany, so if she asks him to give up on invading Westeros, he won’t do it (just like he wouldn’t invade Westeros just because he asked). Dany didn’t seem to be aware of what taking Westeros back with Drogo would take, and after she finds out, she doesn’t really have the power to stop it.

And saying that Dany was ok with enslaving the Lhazareen is a blatant lie:

I am the blood of the dragon, Daenerys Targaryen reminded herself as she turned her face away. She pressed her lips together and hardened her heart and rode on toward the gate.

"Most of Ogo's riders fled," Ser Jorah was saying. "Still, there may be as many as ten thousand captives."

Slaves, Dany thought. Khal Drogo would drive them downriver to one of the towns on Slaver's Bay. She wanted to cry, but she told herself that she must be strong. This is war, this is what it looks like, this is the price of the Iron Throne.

"I've told the khal he ought to make for Meereen," Ser Jorah said. "They'll pay a better price than he'd get from a slaving caravan. Illyrio writes that they had a plague last year, so the brothels are paying double for healthy young girls, and triple for boys under ten. If enough children survive the journey, the gold will buy us all the ships we need, and hire men to sail them."

Behind them, the girl being raped made a heartrending sound, a long sobbing wail that went on and on and on. Dany's hand clenched hard around the reins, and she turned the silver's head. "Make them stop," she commanded Ser Jorah. - Daenerys VII AGOT

Dany has little say in what’s happening here, little agency. She is just the wife of the khal, and what he decides is what happens. This is the very first time Dany is seeing the Dothraki attack anyone (before this, she was just traveling through the Dothraki Sea to Vaes Dothrak). And she is horrified by what she is seeing. Antis love to take the line “this is the price of the Iron Throne” out of context, but looking at the context in which the line is said tells us a very different story: when Dany says "this is war, this is the price of the Iron Throne", she's not saying it because she's ok with slavery. Quite the opposite: she hates what she's seeing, and she says this to convince herself that she doesn't care, to tell herself to be strong. But it doesn't work, Dany can't look past the awful things that she is seeing, and only two paragraphs later, she starts trying to save as many women as she can, in the only way she can: by claiming those women for herself.

By the way, Dany puts herself at a huge risk by trying to protect those women, because she is defying Drogo’s men. When her khas goes to enforce her order, the Dothraki fight, and some men die trying to defend their rights to the spoils of war. Many of the men look at her with cold eyes. These men try to complain to the khal about this, and when Drogo dies and Dany loses the protection of his authority, Dany is in grave danger.

Also see this meta:

https://rainhadaenerys.tumblr.com/post/186687986788/adamparrush-dany-burning-mirri-maaz-duur-alive#notes

“Dany was murdering children in Astapor”

This is just bad reading comprehension, or this person is trying to distort things. Dany didn’t order the killing of children. She ordered only masters and soldiers to be killed, those actively fighting against her to keep slavery. She tell them not to harm any child below 12 to avoid the Unsullied killing innocents. Also, saying “don’t kill anyone under 12″ is not the same thing as saying “kill everyone over 12″, stupid anti.

Also, see this meta:

https://rainhadaenerys.tumblr.com/post/184630644137/hi-i-really-enjoy-your-blog-and-your-meta-i#notes

“Dany didn’t want the entire caravan from Astapor and Yunkai to follow her”

That’s a really dishonest distortion of the facts. This is what Dany actually says:

The raggle-taggle host of freedmen dwarfed her own, but they were more burden than benefit. Perhaps one in a hundred had a donkey, a camel, or an ox; most carried weapons looted from some slaver's armory, but only one in ten was strong enough to fight, and none was trained. They ate the land bare as they passed, like locusts in sandals. Yet Dany could not bring herself to abandon them as Ser Jorah and her bloodriders urged. I told them they were free. I cannot tell them now they are not free to join me. She gazed at the smoke rising from their cookfires and swallowed a sigh. She might have the best footsoldiers in the world, but she also had the worst. - Daenerys IV ASOS

Dany says that the freedmen are a burden. She is simply stating a fact, the freedmen are a burden. But she refuses to abandon them as her advisors urged, because she freaking cares about them, you idiot.

“The pile of bodies was high when she took Meereen”

Of course the pile of bodies was high! A battle to take the city just happened! Usually, when there’s a battle, people die, and there are bodies. I guess this idiot must think that Jon and Robb won all of their battles without killing a single soul. Let’s just pretend that none of Robb’s victories had any pile of bodies. Like, wow. What kind of argument even was this?

“They don’t talk about the torturing of the wineseller’s daughter”

Another blatantly lie. I do talk about the torture of the wineseller’s daughters in my books vs show meta, let me quote what I wrote here:

4) Then, after Dany executes Mossador in the name of a fair trial, she decides to throw “fair trial” out of the window by feeding one of the slavers to her dragons for revenge. This is something that never happens in the books. The closest we have to a problematic action like this is when Dany allows the wineseller’s daughters to be tortured. But this isn’t anywhere near as dark as feeding people to her dragons, for various reasons: 1) because Dany’s actions in the books are inserted in a context in which torture is seen as a normal and legitimate means of investigation by the society. Dany is not the only one that does this, and even honorable Jon Snow considers throwing Janos Slynt in an ice cell to force him to comply, and later throws Cregan Karstark in one. So Dany’s actions in the books are lawful, while in the show, they are not; 2) because Dany was trying to investigate. She was angry about what happened, but revenge was not the only motivation; 3) in the books, Dany learns a lesson from this and becomes the only ruler in ASOIAF to explicitly forbid torture.

Another thing that makes the dragon feeding scene so bad is that Dany tells the masters that she doesn’t care who’s innocent or not. But book Daenerys does care about it:

“We have no proof this is their work. Would you have me slaughter my own subjects?” – Daenerys IV ADWD

Feeding people to her dragons in the show was a criminal action taken by show Dany, and it was made out of revenge, with show Dany saying that she doesn’t care about innocence. This is very different from Dany in the books, and much much darker.

“They don’t talk about Dany enslaving people once she becomes queen”

I don’t talk about this because this never happened. Dany does allow people to sell themselves back into slavery, but only if they want to, and she very clearly doesn’t want to allow it:

Dany was shocked. “They want to be slaves?”

“The ones who come are well spoken and gently born, sweet queen. Such slaves are prized. In the Free Cities they will be tutors, scribes, bed slaves, even healers and priests. They will sleep in soft beds, eat rich foods, and dwell in manses. Here they have lost all, and live in fear and squalor.”

“I see.” Perhaps it was not so shocking, if these tales of Astapor were true. Dany thought a moment. “Any man who wishes to sell himself into slavery may do so. Or woman.” She raised a hand. “But they may not sell their children, nor a man his wife.” - Daenerys VI ASOS

Dany does this because she thinks it’s for the best. Because people convince her that otherwise, those people will live in fear and squalor. But she makes it very clear that no one is allowed to force another person into slavery. And actually, the majority of the former slaves choose to remain free. I write in more detail about this here:

https://rainhadaenerys.tumblr.com/post/182694132667/do-the-slaves-of-westeros-really-want-danys-help#notes

“They don’t talk about how Dany treated Irri”

You mean how Irri started to have sex with Dany on her own free will without Dany ever asking her? You mean how Dany treats Irri wih dignity, respects her consent, and makes it very clear to Irri that she doesn’t have to have sex with her if she doesn’t want it?

"Should I pleasure the khaleesi?"Dany stepped away from her. "No. Irri, you do not need to do that. What happened that night, when you woke . . . you're no bed slave, I freed you, remember? You . . ." - Daenerys II ASOS

Talk all you want about power difference, but Dany respected Irri’s consent, she treated her with dignity.

See also this meta:

https://rainhadaenerys.tumblr.com/post/187867805480/hiya-mindset-love-your-blog-i-was-reading#notes

And they continued on their bullshit:

They repeat a lot of the stuff I already refuted here, but there are some more:

“Jorah killed Rhaego, not MMD”

Mirri Maz Duur admits she killed Rhaego when Dany accuses her:

Dany gestured at Ser Jorah and the others. "Leave us. I would speak with this maegi alone." Mormont and the Dothraki withdrew. "You knew," Dany said when they were gone. She ached, inside and out, but her fury gave her strength. "You knew what I was buying, and you knew the price, and yet you let me pay it."

"It was wrong of them to burn my temple," the heavy, flat-nosed woman said placidly. "That angered the Great Shepherd."

"This was no god's work," Dany said coldly. If I look back I am lost. "You cheated me. You murdered my child within me." 

"The stallion who mounts the world will burn no cities now. His khalasar shall trample no nations into dust." - Daenerys IX AGOT

MMD killed an innocent child for revenge, and to prevent a supposed future. She admits it.

"She said to kill everyone in a tokar, this is every freeborn”

No, the tokar is not worn by every freeborn. The tokar is a master’s garment, and it makes it impossible to work. Those who wore it are only those who have the wealth and power and don’t have to work, aka, the freaking slave masters:

The garment was a clumsy thing, a long loose shapeless sheet that had to be wound around her hips and under an arm and over a shoulder, its dangling fringes carefully layered and displayed. Wound too loose, it was like to fall off; wound too tight, it would tangle, trip, and bind. Even wound properly, the tokar required its wearer to hold it in place with the left hand. Walking in a tokar demanded small, mincing steps and exquisite balance, lest one tread upon those heavy trailing fringes. It was not a garment meant for any man who had to work. The tokar was a master's garment, a sign of wealth and power. - Daenerys I ADWD

Ugh. Then they went on:

Again, this freaking obsession antis have to convince people that they loooooove Daenerys. I could go on refuting this idiot, but it can be summed up in “You Dany stans can’t see things objectively, I’m the only one that uses logic, blah, blah, blah”. They go on to complain that Dany killed soldiers (none of their faves ever killed soldiers, right?), to say that Dany killed slaves and freed people (no, she didn’t), that you can’t see things in black and white and divide the situation into slavers and slaves (I guess they’re trying to say that Dany is bad for killing some supposedly nice slavers), blah, blah blah.

Sorry if I went off, everyone. This made me really angry. Apparently, I’m the biased one that distorts things, and not this idiot.

[athedemonsqueen]

I Found You #19 (Finn Balor Story)

“Do you have everything?” Finn said. We were packing for Royal Rumble I was so excited I could hardly contain it. I never thought I would be dating Finn Balor little loan going on the road with him or any superstar.

“Almost everything.” I said, smiling at him as I turned away from my bag.

“Oh, what did you forget?”

“You.” I said, giving him a kiss. Finn giggled.

“Awe.”

“I do have everything” I said.

“Good because the car is going to be here soon.” Finn said, as he turned away to pack his last minute things.

“Finn?” I asked.

“Yeah”

“How come you don’t drive and I always drive practically everywhere?”

“Uh, well, I never got around driving in America.” Finn said.

I gave a “humf” and just let it go. Finn came back into the bedroom with a tender look in his eyes.

“Are you ok?” I asked.

He cleared his throat, “I was just wondering how are your arms since…” He nodded down to my wrist which were purple and red from the bondage. How that made Finn upset, oh he was beside himself.

“I told you honey I’m fine.” I blew a kiss to him. My wrists hurt from it and sometimes I can still feel the burn of the rope, but it was the most incredible feeling I’ve ever felt in my life. Finn was not convinced at all.

I drop the shirt on the floor and went up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Listen, that night, was one of the most amazing things I could ever feel with a person.” - my voice grew softer,

“I like what you did.” Finn’s forehead touch mine. A car horn beeped outside,

“Car’s here” he said, with his accent growing thick.

“You’re nervous?”

“Hmm?”

“Whenever you get nervous or excited, your accent grows thicker.” I said.

Finn giggled a little, “I guess I’m a little bit of both, my sweet, you’ll be with me.” Finn said.

I giggled in excitement, “yes.”

We boarded the plane on time and on our way to Philly. I was so excited I could hardly contain it. I fidget on the plan a little as Finn sat still into the book he was reading.

“You are like a puppy off it’s lease!” Finn said to me. I giggled, “I’m sorry baby, I’m trying to let it out now so when I get there I don’t make a fool of myself.” I said.

Eventually I stop fidgetting and enjoyed the flight. After two hours in the air Finn started to fidget to the point he had sweat falling from his face.

“Are you ok?” I asked.

“Yeah, yeah baby…” Finn struggled to get his belt off, “I just need to go…” He rushed to the back. I shrugged it off and thought nothing of it.

“When you go to to go, you got to go.”

Finn heaved as he leaned against the bathroom sink. He glared at himself in the mirror to find his baby blue eyes had turned sinister and dark. His muscles buldge against his heated skin. He pushed himself up to find Finn is no longer there. He stared at himself in the mirror to find a familiar yet unwelcome visitor.

“Balor.” Finn said. Balor merely gave a half sinister smile.

“What are you doing on a plane, you hate planes.” Finn said gruffly.

Balor laughed in his throat, “She’s coming along with us to Royal Rumble, huh? Now you know our agreement doesn’t go pass the house.” Balor said.

“She won’t be in the ring with us, and you have to honor our relationship.” Finn said.

Balor laughed evilly, gritting his teeth, “She thanks me you know, that wonderful sex you two had, oh yes, I saw the whole thing.” Balor said, making Finn angry.

“If it wasn’t for that Finn, you wouldn’t be anything but a limp on a man.”

Finn took a deep breathe and grinded his teeth, “I thank you everyday for what you do for me.”

Balor glared down at him, “I will keep in the shadows when you are with her, in the ring, I can’t promise you anything.”

“Royal Rumble is coming…” Finn reminded him, “I’ll be there.” Balor said, before disappearing, leaving Finn weak at the knees.

Once Finn was strong enough to come back out, he wipped away any signs of a struggle. He sat back down next to me,

“There you are, I was about to send out a search party.” I said.

“I got stuck in the stall.” Finn said simply, “I’m not as small as I appear I guess.” He smiled.

“Well-” I tap on his tray, “Eat up, because the first place you have to go to is the training center.” I smiled.

“Ah, you get to see me close up in action.” He glared over at me with a smile. I laughed.

Being in Florida for so long, you forget just how cold it can get in other states. Goosebumps appeared over my now evenly dark skin. My knees clank together to keep me warm and my teeth chattered hard enough I was afraid they were going to break. The cold was familiar to me, but it did not give me a warm welcome, not in the least.

I was so happy when we reached the performance center. I was expecting an old fashion gym- swamp with wrestlers. Well, it was swamp with wrestlers, some I knew others are probably from NXT. They all welcomed Finn with open arms, it was nothing new for him. It was all new to me. I waited behind Finn for him to introduce me. He turned to me and grabbed my hand, being so gentle not my wrist.

“This is (Y/N)” Finn said, everyone smiled some came and hugged me, some just waved since they were to sweaty.

“(Y/N) now that name sounds familiar” Baylee said, putting her finger to her chin.

“Finn, had to mention me…” I said, confused in a way.

“No, actually Finn is very private, which is why we are surprised, but also glad he has a girlfriend.” Baylee said, shrugging her shoulders.

“Probably another (Y/N)” I chuckled nervously. Baylee left it as that.

I sat outside the changing room waiting for Finn. He suddenly emerged in his ring attire. He looked different, he’s not my Finn, he is everyone’s Finn. He is the WWE superstar, Finn Balor. He adjusted his leather jacket before looking over at me with a bright smile.

“Wow.” I muttered softly, as I stood up.

Finn’s smile grew brightly, “My number one fan.” He placed a kiss on my cheek.

“You ready to see me in action?” He asked, I nodded in excitement.

“Alright.”

It frustrated me. Finn is fast, he is strong, and smart in the ring. The WWE makes him look so weak and unworthy in the ring. Any chance he gets, or worked for gets smashed into pieces, and I think that’s why I want to be his manager or agent. I can make people see what it is there. I can make people see what I see.

Finn laid against the ropes- exhausted and beaten. “Had enough, man?” Randy said, Finn looked up growling. He charged at Randy as he gave Finn an RKO. Finn’s body hit the mate with a thud. Finn gritted his teeth in the severe pain. Right there, I knew wrestling is real. It was real pain, and Finn experienced it every time he was in the ring. Finn eventually got back up and managed to get Randy out. Finn- overtired and weak fell to the mate, panting. He looked over to me and saw my concern. My utter, realistic concern. He smiled, slowly getting up. He came over to me and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

“My sweet, I’m ok.” He said.

I smiled giving him the idea I believed him. Randy grabbed him and tossed him across the ring and into the rope. Finn gritted his teeth, it burned inside of me, no it pained me. I scrambled into the ring, putting myself in between them.

“(Y/N) what are you doing?” Finn whispered to me.

Randy gave me a smirk, taking his finger and thumb and rubbing it against his chin. He was impressed, clearly. I stood my ground nervously.

“Defending your man, I see?” Randy said.

“I think it’s enough for today.” I said sternly. Randy gave out a gruff laugh.

“Is this it, Balor? Your girl fighting for you?” Randy laughed. Suddenly a spark went off in me, a horrble thought raced through my head and i went crazy. I growled jumping onto Randy making him fall to the ground.

Randy pushed me off as I went for his legs, he fell to the floor with a thud, Finn came by and pulled me off Randy as he scrambled to the other side; examing his busted nose. I growled trying to break free, Finn came to my ear and whispered,

“Shh, shh I’m ok baby I’m ok.” His soft voice soothed me.

“Where...did...she learn...to fight like that?” Randy said, panting. Finn bowed his head to my neck, admitting he taught me.

“Do you know how dangerous that is for someone like you?” Randy said getting up.

“She can handle it.” Finn growled.

“Don’t you ever touch her again.” Finn added, “She touched me first.” Randy said, pointing to himself.  Knowing Randy wasn’t going to win this fight, he exited the ring.

I turned to Finn, “What’s dangerous?”

Finn shallow the lump in his throat, “If I teach you how to wrestle, you can become the Demon’s Queen and that means I lose you. We got to be careful, my sweet” Finn said removing some hair from my face. I smiled as I hugged him,

“I don’t want to lose you either.” I whispered.

“No more wrestling…” I said, looking up at him.

“No more wrestling.” He cooed.

Chapter #19 blog to follow....

@mylittlepartofthegalaxy @igobypoet @devitts-girl @finnabonthesinnabon @tina679 @finnbealor @2sweetqueen @echelonfam-30

[iheartmilfs42069]

On Kierark, Toxic Relationships, and Fetishization

I am honestly alarmed by how many people ship Kierark (not to mention Kierarktina). Tumblr prides itself on being “woke,” and yet it’s a rare blog that DOESN’T ship them. But why? It’s toxic and unhealthy. Why is it that so many people don’t see it? Well, today I’m going to outline all the reasons why this ship is messy and abusive.

Let’s start with the first place we see them: “Bitter of Tongue,” one of the Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy novels. Granted, we don’t see much of them and it makes sense for Kieran to seem unfriendly around a Shadowhunter (or rather, a Shadowhunter-in-training). But then we get this observation from Simon, “[He] could not tell if the tight grasp of Kieran’s hand was affectionate, anxiety, or a wish to imprison.” First lesson in witnessing abuse: if it looks like abuse, it’s probably abuse. Also, why would that suggestion even be there if it wasn’t a very real possibility? Sure, this seems a bit flimsy, but it’s reinforced by what we then see in The Dark Artifices.

Let’s move on to Lady Midnight: The very first interaction we see Mark and Kieran have is when Kieran leaves him a note in an acorn saying, “Remember, none of it is real.” He knows Mark is in a fragile state of mind and he knows how much Mark has missed his family. And what is his response? Tell him it’s not real! That is a classic example of gaslighting. And we immediately see the impact it has, as Mark believes it and has a set back.

The next significant moment is when Mark, Emma, Julian, and Cristina go to the Lottery and Kieran follows and meets Mark in the coat closet. He spends the entire time guilting Mark for doing THE VERY THING MARK WAS SENT THERE TO DO. He’s mad Mark is spending time with his family and trying to solve the murders, even though he knows Mark only has a limited amount of time to do so. Mark immediately turns apologetic, EVEN THOUGH HE DID NOTHING WRONG. This is a manipulation of Mark’s emotions and further gaslighting.

Shortly after, Kieran spies on Mark and Cristina and gets jealous that they’re literally just having a conversation. The second he gets a chance to do something (Mark letting a faerie secret slip), he immediately sells Mark out. This is fucked up for two reasons: 1. Kieran reveals he thought Gwyn would force him to return to the Wild Hunt (and thus, Kieran). This is incredibly selfish and completely takes away Mark’s choice. If Kieran cared about what Mark wanted, he wouldn’t have tried to take away his choice. Even Julian, who would do ANYTHING to keep his family together, doesn’t do that. Kieran only thought about what HE wanted and fuck whether or not that’s what Mark wanted to (remember, at this point, no one knows what Mark will choose). 2. HE SOLD OUT THE BOY HE SUPPOSEDLY LOVES KNOWING THERE WOULD BE SOME KIND OF PUNISHMENT. We know, given that Kieran admits it and faeries can’t lie, that his only goal was to get Mark back. He didn’t give a shit about Gwyn’s secret being slipped. It was just a convenient turn of events. HE SOLD MARK OUT FOR ENTIRELY SELFISH REASONS. In doing so, he betrayed his selfishness and Mark’s trust.

And then, of course, there’s the infamous whipping scene. When Julian volunteers, Kieran ACTUALLY AGREES TO THIS. Defenders say he doesn’t view family the same way, so he wouldn’t understand that this was wrong. BUT, faeries know what family means to Shadowhunters and, more importantly, Kieran knows damn well what Mark’s family means to him.Therefore, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THIS. He doesn’t even feel guilty for what happens; he’s just upset Mark no longer trusts him and even hates him (I’ll provide more proof of this later).

Parallel to this, another pattern emerges: Kieran supports Mark’s insistence that he’s a Shadowhunter until other Shadowhunters are around. Then suddenly, he’s only a faerie. This has a very possessive air to it; Mark can only embrace his Shadowhunter side when it doesn’t threaten Kieran’s claim on him.

And now we get to Lord of Shadows: The first we hear of Kieran, we discover he has murdered Iarlath for whipping Emma and Julian (very clearly to try and win Mark back over). At first glance, it seems that he’s trying to make reparations. But, consider this: Iarlanth would never have whipped Emma and Julian had Kieran not sold Mark out. He still isn’t taking responsibility for his part in that day, showing he doesn’t really feel guilty (here’s that proof I promised). He’s just upset he doesn’t have Mark anymore.

But, let’s be fair, Mark does something alarming here too: his first instinct upon finding out Kieran is going to be executed is to refused to help him. He says he knew Gwyn wouldn’t let it happen, but then Gwyn never even shows up to the rescue. Perhaps, maybe, he didn’t really believe Gwyn would save Kieran. You want one half of your ship leaving the other one to die? Okay, then. And then, Mark only goes when Zara calls his honor into question the same way Gwyn did when he refused to help. HE’S DOING IT TO PROVE HE HAS HONOR. In what world is that a good thing in a relationship?

After the rescue, we come to the point where Kieran agrees to speak before the Clave and must swear fealty to someone. He swears fealty to Cristina and ACTUALLY TELLS MARK HE DID IT TO SPITE HIM. Even when he doesn’t remember witnessing Mark and Cristina getting close, he STILL pulls this shit. (Now would also be a good time to point out that losing one’s memories does not equal character development or redemption. If he does’t remember what he did, he can’t redeem himself from it. It also begs the question: why remove his memories in the first place? The Unseelie King didn’t know anyone was coming to rescue Kieran (let alone his ex), so what was the point? To try and trick us into thinking Kieran is having character development? Well, it didn’t work.)

Okay, let’s call Mark out for something again: he lies to Kieran about the break up so he will help him. While Mark had legitimate reason to not trust Kieran and it was for a very good cause, this is still a messed up thing to do. And it’s certainly not the kind of thing healthy relationships are built on.

Next, let’s get to the sex dream scene. First of all, it should be noted that, even when Kieran is making Mark have a sex dream about him, Mark is still thinking about Cristina. That’s telling, to say the least. But let’s get to the real issue with this: Mark tells us that Kieran used to do this for him in the Hunt, “but this time was different.” BUT THIS TIME WAS DIFFERENT. But what’s difference between those times and this one? Easy, Mark wanted it those other times, but not this time. KIERAN FORCED A NON-CONSENSUAL SEX DREAM ON MARK. No, this is not technically rape. But Kieran had zero consent and Mark clearly felt less-than-good about it. This is a VIOLATION. THIS IS NOT OKAY. Even if, as some people have said, Mark is the one who made it sexual, Kieran was still the one awake and in control of the dream. He knows Mark is asleep and therefore cannot consent. Either way, THIS IS A NON-CONSENSUAL VIOLATION.

Speaking of things that are not okay, Mark tells us something else about he and Kieran’s Wild Hunt days. They used to have terrible screaming fights. If this wasn’t unhealthy enough, we find out none of them were ever resolved because they just devolved into (presumably) sex. They had terrible, horrible fights that they NEVER RESOLVED. This is so very clearly toxic I can’t believe anyone can overlook this.

Remember when I said Kieran doesn’t care about what Mark wants? I have more evidence of that. Mark tells Kieran he’s not sure about their relationship anymore and asks for some time and space. And what does Kieran give him? Not time and space, that’s for sure! Yes, they’re both stuck in the Institute, but it’s really not hard to avoid someone in an Institute. This was Kieran once again ignoring Mark’s wishes and doing whatever the fuck he wants. At the very least, this is disrespect. At the very worst... well, would you want your significant other to do this shit?

“But they can’t keep their hands off each other when they’re together!!!” Hate to break it to you but PHYSICAL ATTRACTION DOES NOT MEAN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHY OR NON-TOXIC. People are attracted to people who are bad for them or who treat them badly ALL THE TIME. It is no where NEAR enough to base an entire relationship on, especially when it’s so unhealthy in so many other ways.

And all this brings me back to my original question: why do so many people still ship this? If it was a guy doing this to a girl, you’d all be up in arms. Not only that, but you claim you want good same-sex rep and yet ship things like this. Newsflash: same-sex relationships can be abusive, unhealthy, and toxic. They aren’t automatically perfect by virtue of being same-sex (and before you make any assumptions (as Tumblr is wont to do), I am a lesbian).

I can only come to one conclusion: you don’t really care about same-sex rep at all. You just have a fetish for white M/M relationships. And that pisses me the hell off. If you cared about same-sex rep, you would ALWAYS call it out when it’s unhealthy. (And no, I don’t think that was the point Cassie was trying to make, as she seems pretty hung up on them. But I think it’s clear she shares your fetish because we have countless Malec stories (of course, Magnus is Indonesian, but it’s still M/M) and keep getting Kierark content, but no Haline content. Interesting.) I am absolutely disgusted with “fake woke” Tumblr, only caring about things when it doesn’t interfere with their ships. Honestly, if you can read this whole thing and STILL feel okay with shipping Kierark, don’t call yourself an ally. You’re not. You just fetishize the M/M experience. 

I have the terrible feeling that Cassie is not only going to go through with Kierark, but force Kierarktina down our throats. But I will never stop being vocal about how toxic, unhealthy, and abusive this ship is. I hope I’ve woken some of you up to the reality of this ship (remember, everything I listed was CANON FACT), but I won’t hold my breath. 

UPDATE: So, I finished QOAAD and I have some additional comments. I’m not saying Cassie read my post and decided to retcon all these issues (for all I know, QOAAD was finished before I wrote this post). What I AM saying is the way Cassie addresses the issues I laid out in this original post is, quite frankly, bullshit. (Spoilers ahead.)

I don’t think Cassie knows how to write a redemption arc. Kieran’s redemption arc is made entirely of retconned canon, instead of actually showing him change as a character. Let’s begin with the only bit not related to his relationship with Mark and Cristina.

Apparently, Kieran was a very kind prince to his subjects. I know he’d been sent to the Wild Hunt because the Unseelie King viewed him as a threat, but this makes no sense with his character. Prior to this, Kieran has pretty much never been shown as being selfless or kind to anyone. Kieran says he did was kind for selfish reasons, which makes more sense to me. But then every character around him insists that he was kind because he cares, despite there being literally no evidence of this. 

What pissed me off the most was when Mark said Kieran sent him that “Remember, none of this is real” not in Lady Midnight to comfort him. Mark says he remembers Kieran whispering that to himself while in the Hunt to help him cope with the horrors. 

The problem is this doesn’t line up with what happens in Lady Midnight. When Mark receives the note, he has a breakdown. It sets back all the progress he’s made reacclimating to life with his family. He doesn’t connect it to anything he’s heard Kieran say before. He doesn’t even remember it at any point along the way. Mark literally never brings it up until Kieran finally admits he was wrong to do that. You can’t just say “Oh, I knew this was what you really meant all along” when your canon disproves this. If this was what Cassie had meant to be the truth all along, she would’ve addressed it far sooner.

Another instance of this is when Mark claims Kieran told Gwyn that Mark shared his secret with Cristina to “save his life.” But... from whom? Mark isn’t in danger from his family. Cristina shows no sign that she’s going to kill Mark and use the information for her own purposes. Gwyn wouldn’t have known Mark shared that secret unless someone told him. So how is Mark’s life in danger? How is Kieran going selling Mark out to Gwyn saving his life? 

Remember how I said memory loss isn’t the same thing as a redemption arc? Neither is a magic pool that forces you to experience the pain you’ve put others through, and thus develop empathy. It shouldn't take this much for a supposedly good person to realize they’ve hurt people. This is such a cheap tool to further a redemption arc, and all is does is undercut any of that “progress.” Cassie is basically saying that Kieran never would’ve realized he’d hurt people without magical intervention and that is... not encouraging.

This makes even less sense, because Cassie was already setting up a more believable redemption arc. Kieran agrees to still testify before the Clave after he realized Mark had lied to him in Lord of Shadows. Why throw away a natural redemption arc in favor of something that makes your character seem void of empathy without a magic mirror to the soul?

Cassie has every character suddenly praising Kieran and talking about how much he’s changed. Even though he’s not really that different. But we’re expected to believe that Julian has just forgiven him? Julian Lives-And-Breathes-Vengeance Blackthorn? Cristina gets to speak for Emma and say she’s forgiven Kieran. That’s not for her to say. 

I’m just saying, it’s not a coincidence that Emma being pro-Kierarktina is on page 666. 

Mark forgiving Kieran makes sense. Mark letting him back into his heart is out-of-character. Cristina finding Kieran attractive makes sense. Cristina suddenly falling in love with him is out-of-character. 

Do you know why Herongraystairs works? Because all the characters have genuine chemistry and you can clearly see why they love each other. Cassie literally has to spell out why Kierarktina works. This means she doesn’t show it well enough. Which means they fundamentally don’t work as a polyamorous relationship. As Emma repeatedly refers to the relationship as a “hot faerie threesome,” it just feels like more fetishization on Cassie’s part. 

So, even though I knew this was going to happen, I’m still disgusted and disappointed. I even tried to keep an open mind, but Kieran’s redemption arc just does not work. Why should I want a character who doesn’t feel empathy without magical assistance anywhere near Mark and Cristina? If Cassie had really worked for a redemption arc, maybe it could’ve worked. I probably still wouldn’t have liked it, but I could’ve somewhat accepted it. 

Honestly, after all the shit he pulled, the only redemption arc I would’ve accepted was Kieran sacrificing himself for Mark, Cristina, and the Blackthorns. It would’ve had more impact and the characters could’ve actually reflected on real character growth, rather than insisting to the reader that Kieran has changed. 

So anyway, fuck Kieran. Kierarktina really kept me from loving this book as much as the first two. All three of the characters involved have to be out-of-character for the relationship to work. And I just can’t support bad writing like that.

[suzannemcappsca]

Moral Disengagement, Part 2!

Several weeks ago, I posted a blog about moral disengagement regarding the bad call in the Saints- LA Rams game that effectively allowed the LA Rams to win a trip to the Super Bowl. ( As you know, the LA Rams lost to the New England Patriots- their sixth Super Bowl win!)

This notion of moral disengagement came back to me when the College Admissions scandal became the news of the day. This scandal has caused me much cognitive dissonance.  Why? I am a big fan of the Hallmark Channel and watched episodes of “When Calls the Heart”, and “Garage Sales Mysteries” (along with its many other movies!) starring Lori Loughlin. I am having a hard time reconciling her on screen persona with the alleged felonious actions she and her husband took to obtain admission into USC for their two children. (As I am also a Lecturer in Law at USC’s Gould School of Law, I am having cognitive dissonance issues with this USC aspect as well!)

Like many others, I am asking why did the 30 or so parents take the actions that are being labelled as conspiracy to commit wire (mail) fraud and honest services wire (mail) fraud? The only answer I can come up with is the “slippery slope” of ethics or what has been called moral disengagement.

As noted in my previous blog, “moral disengagement” “… refers to eight interrelated cognitive mechanisms that allow us to sidestep our internalized moral standards and behave immorally without feeling attendant distress….”  https://www.researchgate.net/publication/281332371_Moral_disengagement).

These eight mechanisms include: moral justification, euphemistic labelling, advantageous comparison, displacement of responsibility, diffusion of responsibility, dehumanization and moral muteness. (Id.)

(The following is taken from  Bandura, Albert, Moral Disengagement: How People Do Harm and Live with Themselves, (Worth Publishers, New York, 2016) at pages 48-64.)

Moral Justification: This can also include social and economic justification: the parents morally justified their actions as being for honorable purposes. (Id. at 49.) College educations are an imperative these days to do well in the world.  The purpose was honorable: to ensure that the children obtained good college educations. As some of these parents never went to college, it was imperative that their children do so! They wanted what every parent wants for their children: for the child to have a “better” life than they did.  The social justification is that the parents involved are all well known and to “save face” with society, it is imperative that their children go to “elite” schools.  (Indeed, one parent even dissed Arizona State University by claiming that his child must go to a better school than that one.)

Euphemistic  Language: The children obtained admission by a “side door”  rather than using the true names; bribery and cheating. ( Id. at 53.)

Advantageous Comparison:  The parents compared their behavior with something much worse. (Id. at 56.) They said to themselves, something to the effect of – if they did not help their children gain admission to college, the result to their children and to their own reputations will be much worse. To have a child that could not get into a “decent” college on her own merit would be “horrendous”, and the parent would be unable to face society etc. and would be unable to live with themselves as they were not giving their children opportunities they may not have had or every opportunity possible to be prepared for the world.

Displacement of Responsibility: ( Id. at 58-59.)  No doubt, the parents are placing the blame on William “Rick” Singer, the person who master minded the admissions scandal.  Throughout, the parents, in their own minds, minimized  their role in causing the harm. They were simply doing what Mr. Singer suggested for the greater good of insuring that their children obtained a good college education at an “elite” school thereby setting up the child with lots of advantages upon entry to the real world!

Diffusion of Responsibility: (Id. at 62-64.) In their minds, the parents believe that many other people are responsible for this fiasco; not only “Rick” Singer, but the other defendants who took the SAT and ACT tests for their children, the test administrators who “looked the other way” or helped insure that the scores would be high enough, the coaches who were bribed, the persons who photoshopped the pictures of the “purported athletes”  and all of the others who  assisted in the “side door” or “back door” entry into college for these kids. By diffusing responsibility onto such a large group of active players (now known as defendants in criminal proceedings brought by the U.S. Attorney in Boston, Massachusetts) the parents can greatly weaken the little voice in their heads telling them that what they were doing was wrong and illegal.

Dehumanization: The “victims” are large universities: University of California at Los Angeles, University of Southern California, Stanford, Yale, Wake Forest, Georgetown, University of Texas at Austin and University of San Diego. They won’t notice anything and  probably do not mind as each school will make money  (tuition etc.) from these admissions as well. (See: previous blog on this point.)

Moral Muteness: This  occurs  when people witness unethical behavior and choose not to do anything about it; they look the other way.   Clearly, all those involved were witnessing the others engage in unethical behavior and not only did they fail to say or do anything about it, they did the opposite by  engaging in it themselves.

I read an article in which the sketch artist (who was in federal court when some of the parents made their first appearances) noted that while one defendant looked sheepish with her head down, the other appeared defensive with arms crossed as if to ask why she is even here and when will she be out. (https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/lori-loughlin-felicity-huffmans-courtroom-sketch-artist-says-drew-authentically-warts-114447537.html )

To me, this indicates that for one of the defendants, the moral disengagement may be coming to an end, while for the other- it is still very much alive.

I guess the author Albert Bandura nailed it with the title to his book, “Moral Disengagement; How People Do Harm and Live with Themselves.” There are going to be wide ranging and far reaching repercussions and consequences for many years regarding what these parents did; the only way that they will be able to live with themselves will be to stay morally disengaged.

… Just something to think about.

      -------------------------------------

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from Updates By Suzanne http://www.pgpmediation.com/moral-disengagement-part-2/

[etalablog]

Et Al a Blog: Presumption of Innocence, Presumption of Truth.

Let’s be clear, I am not a lawyer. I am neither bragging nor complaining, just stating a fact. And being of an age from those halcyon days of jurisprudence when we learned law collectively at the hands of Perry Mason,  Atticus Finch and Thurgood Marshall, in roughly that order, I have an admittedly imperfect sense of the legal standards to be had in our Country.

But I have long known, and as we have heard a lot of recently, there is a Presumption of Innocence in criminal proceedings. Of course, there were certain exceptions, such as skin color, national origin, etcetera but in general, your average white guy could get a fair trial in which the burden of proof was on the prosecution.

Until the advent of almost universal video recordings, this “burden of proof” could be fulfilled by any number of pieces of evidence. There is forensic evidence, foot prints, finger prints, blood type and such of course, but the most persuasive evidence was when the witness dramatically points across the room at the defendant and says… “He did it!  That guy! I saw him do it!”.

At which point there was only the sentence left to be determined.

But see? I was wrong. We now have it on the highest authority, that the mere fact of a victim’s identification of the perpetrator is not (are you ready for it?) “proof of guilt”.  Obviously, times have changed. Well, except for, if there is a choice in the matter, the white guy is still innocent.

“But wait! There’s more!” as the Vegamatic guy used to say. You see the reason for the tsunami of “Presumption of Innocence” roiling through Trumpian Media Silos, was NOT a criminal trial, but a confirmation hearing to determine if someone is sufficiently beyond reproach to become a Justice on the Supreme Court of the United States.

And here, there is a different standard. That is, a “Presumption of Truth” of testimony by witnesses resulting from the very real penalty for “Perjury”. But in this case, and by now you know I am talking about the Brett (aka “Bart”) Kavanaugh confirmation hearings, there was conflicting testimony.

Or was there?

Well, I and many of my non-Trumpian silomates, would suggest not.

One witness, Dr. Ford has a very specific and credible memory of a sexual assault which occurred one evening some 36 years ago when she was a vulnerable 15-year-old girl. She had shared this memory some six years prior with her therapist and husband, naming him specifically.

She spoke in a trembling voice with such credibility and conviction that even the Bully in Chief could not help but gush “She was very compelling”. Yes, she was Donald, you got it right the first time.

The other, an angry, unrepentant Judge Brett Kavanaugh, his face alternately wet with tears and spittle, lashed out at the temerity of those to even suggest he, a lifelong, hard working model of cleanliness, godliness and selfless sacrifice on behalf of our Great Nation would do such a thing! This was an “orchestrated hit by … Democrats… angry over the election …. And seeking revenge for the Clintons.”

Implied, if not precisely spoken, was the assertion that he could not have done because he did not remember doing it.

Unfortunately, Judge Kavanaugh, there is, as we like to say, “compelling” evidence that it was distinctly possible there was another reason for your perhaps not remembering it. You were drunk. You didn’t actually penetrate her, so there was nothing memorable about it for you. It was just one night in a summer of numerous such episodes. That this is so, is amply established through your own words. Brett, both in the yearbook and the letter you wrote (signed “Bart”) arranging for a beach rental for “obnoxious drunks and prolific pukers”.

And, of course, your running mate and named accomplice Mark Judge wrote a thinly disguised biography of your days  at Georgetown Prep, comprehensively described in its title, “Wasted”.

So where does the “Presumption of Truth” lay here?  There is little doubt it resides solidly with Dr. Ford. And for the confirmation for a life time appointment, THIS is the only standard that need apply.

So, if this so clear cut, how can so many of our fellow Americans have a view of Judge Kavanaugh and his beautiful (white) family as the victim here? “Where is the proof of this?” “Where is the Presumption of Innocence?”.

I have an answer for you.

It is this place. It is the news media and social media silos you share with me.

Our knowledge base, our “facts”, our sense of what is important, of course comes from thenews media at large. You and I, we have conditioned ourselves to believe only what we read and see in rational and independent sources of information with journalistic integrity. The Free Press is our First Right. And this is our silo.

And, well, we should believe this, of course. You know that. I know that. But “they” do not.

“They” get their news from Fox News, Hannity, and even InfoWars.  

In social media, Facebook, Twitter and the rest, our newsfeeds are populated by things we are pre-disposed to agree with. This creates a much more satisfying experience. Every visit, we are rewarded for our wit and keen insight. People, quite literally, like us. And we like people like us.

Sometime ago, after I had digested what had happened to us in the 2016 elections, it became obvious that silo’d nature of social media had created massive echo chambers.

I realized there was little benefit to sharing my keen insights while “preaching to the choir” and ceased political posts on my FB page, limiting them, instead, to my blog, which, if I shared it on FB, seemed a more appropriate place, at least both of my followers assure me it is.

But Facebook, more than any other media, is one of those places where the silos occasionally occur together. It is in this place we “cross the streams” in Ghostbuster parlance. Our Social Media connections can be found in myriad ways not necessarily related to politics such as family, hometown, etc. who may find their “news” in a different silo. 

Unfortunately, “crossing the streams” on Facebook does simply result in the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man, but rather in memes and shared posts (never an original thought or opinion) such as flooded our newsfeeds in the 2016 Russian attack on our democracy.  Typically, we find somewhere between annoying and appalling and generally ignore them.

Alas, being human, I find myself, on occasion,  taking exception to the more ludicrous (obviously, in my opinion) ones and commenting on them. Inevitably, because I am now in an alternate reality silo, someone responds accordingly.

So, it was recently on a “story” shared by the new fiancé of a dear, and utterly apolitical, friend concerning the cultural war prompted by the Kavanaugh nomination, to wit: the plague of unfounded assertions of sexual assaults by women upon fine and honorable men.

I am sure you appreciate just why I felt compelled to comment and you can well guess the nature of those comments.

Consider this response from a random “tin hat” poster on my new friend’s shared story:

RESEARCH. The privileged girls of her school proudly documented that they were hard partying drunks who PREYED on younger boys at the all male prep schools. Go look it up. The school and Ford both scrubbed their social media but NOT fast enough. No, we call her a liar with overwhelming proof. She LIED about her remodel that happened in 2008 not 2012. She put in a second door for the RENTAL unit she added to her home that she was renting to interns at Google. She deliberately obfuscated what her REAL job is: She works with the CIA's program at STANFORD. Her grandfather and father both are LONG TERM employees of the CIA. She LIED about not know that she could have had the Judiciary come to her. When Grassley stated that she did not react in shock at all or look at her attorneys with the appropriate "What didn't you tell me this!" response. Some of us have actually done our due diligence and care about the FACTS. The last bimbo worked for Ford's father for TWELVE YEARS. There is no such thing as a coincidence in Washington, D.C. She also LIED under oath about never coaching anyone on how to beat a polygraph. One of her attorneys was the very person that she DID teach how to beat the polygraph.

Funny you should mention a phone// I had opined that, unfortunately the assault was not captured on a cell phone// as that is one of the statements she made that CLEARLY PROVES she is a liar. Cell phones were not available until 1986. She claims this happened in 1982. NO ONE HAD A CELL PHONE IN 1982. The grocery store she claimed to go to wasn't opened until 1986 as well. FACTS MATTER.

Where does one even start with crap like this? When confronted with the assertions of a flat earth, attempting to describe the Spring Equinox is rather pointless.

We are being asked to not believe our “lying” eyes.

This is where the “Presumption of Truth” is in 2018. I have no solution, no answer but this:

Vote Blue and encourage your friends to do so too.

Truth and reality are under attack by this President and the Alternative Fact media silo. Help me defend them.

[agameforgoodchristians]

"The Bible is Very Clear on Right and Wrong": An Open Letter to People Offended by 'The Trump Cards' Donations

Why This Open Letter

Background Note: We upset someone who played our game and introduced it to Christian and non Christian friends/families as an opportunity to talk about God. After our introduction of The Trump Cards, and its opportunities for donations, we received a message that this someone would no longer think highly of us or our ministry.

Our "liberal push" was the last straw for this individual. Specifically "it's ok to bust on our president, but then combine it with VERY poor choices for charity???!!!" This person felt as if they were "duped all along" by supporting us. This saddened us. So we wrote the individual, and corresponded. Things ended peacefully. 

But we will take this moment to address our thoughts to you as well. The following is a (slightly) revised version of our email sent this former supporter of AGFGC, with some additional thoughts based on our follow-up conversation.

We share it with you. Feel free to share it with others, or just ponder it yourself.

An Open Letter to Offended People

Dear X,

A Game for Good Christians represents the broad scope of the Church universal. We presented you with a sample of the denominations from which people hale who play our game. At the time of this writing we took an informal poll to get a better picture of these people, the results of which can be found here. In the U.S. alone, our players range from Catholics to Pentecostals,  Non-Denominationals to Lutherans, Mennonites to Metropolitan Community Church members, African Methodist Episcopals to American Baptists. We minister to a wide swath of the faith.

You told us none of that is important, that we're all supposed to be unified in Christ. This is a wonderful sentiment, but we will allow those more learned in ecclesiology than us to hash out the ultimate reality and significance of that idea. But in weekly, daily practice, the Church universal has a multiplicity of local expressions.  So we return to our original statement: AGFGC represents the Church universal. We cater to people within and without all denominations. While these groups do not agree on everything, relevant to this conversation, they hold at least two things in common. First, they like our game. Second, and vastly more important, they can honor the Biblical ideal of caring for the least of these. A commonality we will return to later. 

X, you accuse us of pushing a “liberal” agenda. We're not. We're not into agendas. We can't even use calendars effectively. But should we take "liberal" as an insult? A simply survey of the Hebrew Bible and New Testament will show, without bias or twisting of Scripture, that the vast majority of the prophets, as well as Jesus and the disciples, were labelled as "liberal" by their contemporaries. We're not elevating ourselves to their status, merely pointing out that words have meanings and histories.

Besides, we made this game and have been accused of much worse. However, the thing that has us thinking, the aspect of this correspondence that rattles around in our brains, is the outrage at the charities/organizations we chose.

X, you've told us that "the bible is very clear on what is right and what is wrong," and that "supporting organizations that are clearly and directly outside of the biblical Truth" puts us "outside of biblical Truth."  You accused us, and all the "false churches" we mentioned above, of "support[ing] murder" and "the killing of innocent children." That we, and members of those denominations who continue to support our game, have strayed from the foundation of Biblical Truth, and have caved in to those around us, doing "what is right in man's eyes and not God's." We took these statements to mean our choice of Planned Parenthood as a donation option is at the heart of this screed. 

We challenge you to look into PP more than an ill-informed Facebook memes, Fox News, or Focus on the Family, to see where the vast majority of their money and resources go; to look at the testimony of women whose lives are improved and saved by the medical treatment that they provide, treatment that has nothing to do with abortion. We ask if your imagine of being 'pro-life' extends beyond the womb? We wait for a conversation predicated on thoughtful deliberation of all the facts, not just one sound byte. 

X, you refused to explain why the ACLU is anathema to the Christian faith. You refused. You told us that you would not, could not explain anything to us on this score because we are not standing secure on the aforementioned foundation of Biblical Truth. You told us that "the Bible is clear on this point too." As the ACLU is not mentioned in the Bible, we are not sure what that statement means. We continue to ask if you are aware of the numerous cases the ACLU has fought, and won, on the behalf of Christians? That the ACLU has supported what you may call “conservative” ideals (or 'correct ideals founded on Biblical Truth') like religious liberty. We don't know if the problem is that the organization upholds this principle for all faiths and no faith, not just your narrow expression of the Christian faith. As you are silent on the matter, we don't want to speculate further. 

However X, your silence on the remaining charities/organizations was deafening. We find it hard to believe that you find it reprehensible to support the Children's Health Fund or Meals on Wheels. We find it hard to believe that you have biblical reasons for hating the SIERRA CLUB, unless your interpretation of Genesis 1-2 reads as an environmental snuff film.

As we said before X, we represent the Church universal. Different factions in the family of faith have different ways of viewing things. And this is at the heart of this letter.

 The Church universal does not feel one way about abortion or legal proceedings within the United States. More to the point, the Church universal does not feel one way about these matters. Individual denominations, and individual people within those denominations, will make up their own minds in regards to these things. And miraculously, divinely, they remain within the Love of Christ.

This does not change based on what you think. However, if you are right, and God above, who sits in loving judgment, condemns all of these people housed in "false churches," so be it. Guess we'll find out. 

Those who purchase The Trump Cards will decide how to allocate their money as they feel is an expression of their beliefs informed by their faith, just like you have they option to withdraw your support based on your understanding of yours. We gave them that option. They get a new expansion deck AND they can help protect God’s creation, whether that is cleaning the air you breathe, providing medical care to a child you love, feeding a hungry senior you may be one day, providing cancer screenings for women in your life, or even defending your right to condemn us all to the fiery pits of Gehenna.   

The rational person can respond to this and say "I will not buy this game" or "I will not support this company anymore." We accept that and honor it. However, if they cannot do this without demonizing everyone within the household of faith who does not agree with them, something is seriously and tragically wrong. 

So X, if we have lost your business that is regrettable. We value our customers. But you were not "duped" into buying our previous products.  Nothing about what we are currently doing is in contradiction with anything we have done in the past. We are more than the cards in the game. We are vocal on social media about what we stand with/for. Our Card Talks and other blog post have never been shy.  We’ve been transparent from day one. And nothing in the game or expansions that you own are in any way changed by this new deck.

 We likewise appreciate your reply and comments, and also pray the peace of Christ upon you, and success in your personal and professional life. But we find we have no reason to apologize, nor a need to confess a sin in this regard.  We recognize you feel differently, but that does not change our stand. 

 We also recognize that we are human, and prone to errors. So we say (as we do at the end of every Card Talk) what do we know: we made this game (and this promotion) and you probably think we’re going to Hell.

[mrlongkgraves]

How to talk to your kid about stupid stuff you’ve done

Twelve years into this whole parenting thing, with my daughter barreling full tilt into her teen years, my wife and I have gotten a little bit lazy on certain aspects of the parenting game. Specifically, we’ve started to slack off when it comes to defending our personal reputations as paragons of parenting perfection in our daughter’s eyes.

Early on in your child’s development, you may find yourself fully and wholeheartedly committed to being the ultimate role model for every aspect of their lives. But as time goes on, it just gets tiring trying to cover up the mistakes of your past, and honestly, you might find it’s healthier for your kid’s emotional and social development to understand that every once in a while, everybody does stupid things.

Case in point, over the holidays, my daughter Sarah and I were driving past a construction zone on the Mass Turnpike. The following conversation ensued:

Sarah: “What do you think would happen if you hit one of those construction barrels?”

Me: “Yeah, that would be pretty bad. They’re filled with sand, so they’re really heavy.”

Sarah: “You’re making that up. How do you know that?”

Me: “I stole one and brought it home once.”

See? Right there. I didn’t even hesitate. The words just popped out before I realized what I was telling her — effectively that, at some point in my life I stopped my car in the middle of the Mass Pike and tossed a construction barrel in my backseat. Just for kicks. I’m sure that early in my career as a father it would’ve struck me that this wasn’t the brightest thing to tell my kid, but not anymore. And it got worse.

Sarah: “If they’re so heavy, how did you get it in the car?”

Me: “Oh, Uncle John was with me. He helped.”

Wow. No honor among thieves here. Not even a second of hesitation before Uncle John — genius, PhD in bio-engineering, and best man at my wedding — got pulled right under the bus with me. And of course it’s just a matter of time before my daughter tells his daughter.

And speaking of buses, it turns out that you’re not the only source of information when it comes to your kids learning about the glorious results of your misspent youth.

There’s an MBTA bus bumper hanging up across the rafters in my mom’s garage (the one my daughter is holding below). Let the record show that said bumper fell off the back of a bus in the middle of Kenmore Square one night when I was a student at Boston University and actually found its way into my possession with the absolute best of intentions — we picked it up out of the street so no one would get hurt driving over it!

Just recently, I found out that my mom has never really bought that story, and has told Sarah more than once that my friend Gary and I stole it right off a moving bus. Not true in the least, and poor Gary! I don’t think he was even there, but I guess my mom just assumed it sounded like something he’d be involved with (that’s not entirely unfair). The only shifty part of the true story was sneaking the bumper past dorm security after finding it lying in the street, but despite multiple conversations on the topic, I’m still not sure my daughter entirely believes that I didn’t steal it.

As she’s gotten older Sarah has learned all sorts of exciting tales that put her family in its proper perspective. For example:

The fact that one of our ancestors was hanged for piracy on the high seas. It has to be true — it’s written on our family tree. The fact that this historical footnote was clearly added to this priceless family heirloom by my uncles, in magic marker, in no way robs the story of value or validity.

That time my dad and my uncle burned down the family barn, playing with matches. My grandmother watched them walk back-and-forth across the yard with armloads of newspapers and kindling, and thought they were just being helpful boys until they came barreling into the kitchen to let her know something had gone awry.

The time my aunt — the one Sarah’s named for — got busted smoking cigars in her bedroom closet. In third grade.

Or how my dad and my uncle convinced their youngest brother to grab hold of a live electric fence. Three times in a row.

The blatant lie I told to my future wife and mother of my child about how often I biked in order to lock down a first date biking from Brighton down to Faneuil Hall for lunch. The jig was sort of up when the entire rusty right hand brake assembly fell off of my bike crossing Storrow Drive.

Of course her mother also lied to me right out of the gate. On that same first date, I was positive I saw a pack of cigarettes in her purse, but she told me she didn’t smoke. So yes — our daughter now knows that her parents’ first date was built on lies from both both of us.

And of course she knows that I once had a warrant issued for my arrest in the state of Virginia. Don’t ask. The story’s much more exciting if we leave it at that.

But here’s the thing: These stories haven’t actually ruined our reputations as role models for my daughter. If anything, the epic tales about her grandfather have cemented his reputation as the stuff of legends.

The simple fact is, even the best role models have skeletons they’d like to keep locked away in the closest. There are certainly stories from my past I’ll continue to keep secret. Things I’m not proud of that are either too thoughtless or selfish to have entertainment value. Those are the kinds of object lessons you hold in reserve, just in case you need a really startling lesson to explain to your kid why you know they shouldn’t do something.

But the stupid stuff, the goofy stuff — your Great and Glorious History of Idiocy — these are the stories that make you just a little bit more human to your kids. A little more relatable. They’re going to learn about them eventually, and there’s nothing wrong with that, so you might as well control the story. Tell the tall tales, spin the yarns, embellish the legends. They don’t make you a bad role model. If anything, they make you wise in the ways of the world, even if the path you took to that wisdom was particularly unwise. They add a little bit more validity to your opinion when you tell your children something might not be the best idea, because you’re speaking from experience.

And if you tell a story that really backfires on you, and you can tell that your kids are judging you, just do what I do. Be completely honest and pull someone else under the bus with you.

“Okay fine, but just remember that your mom used to smoke! That’s way worse.”

About the blogger: Amateur husband and father, specialist in the fields of heavy metal and superheroes, and occasional writer, Steve Coldwell is the voice of the Nerdy Metal Dad blog and the Manager of Enterprise and Executive Communications for Boston Children’s Hospital. He is also a first-time dog owner, which is almost exactly like starting over from scratch with another baby.

The post How to talk to your kid about stupid stuff you’ve done appeared first on Thriving Blog.

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Discussion on The Hill  27 comments How corn farmers and ethanol producers helped deliver Trump’s historic win

Fletch  rusty hesson  2 hours ago Really! Huh. You should report fake news then. http://thehill.com/blogs/ballo...

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Fletch  rusty hesson  10 hours ago Ummm, Rusty,,,, did not Hillary win Iowa, Illinois, and Ohio, the very heart of the corn belt? I do not recall ethanol being much of an issue between them, perhaps she would have lost Iowa if she did had not supported ethanol. Sanders does not appear to be a threat to ethanol, more of a threat to oil and gas in fact than Hillary. He wanted to end fracking, that ends oil a few years sooner than it otherwise would. He voted YES on raising CAFE standards; incentives for alternative fuels. Sanders co-sponsored setting goal of 25% renewable energy by 2025 Sanders co-sponsored allowing states to define stricter emission standards-(I am against this one because states already have this power, no one on earth needs to allow them to)

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Fletch  conservatl  20 hours ago Ethanol reduces price for our fuel. Ethanol at 10% is the cheapest, cleanest, most non toxic, and concentrated octane booster available. The carcinogenic and toxic alternative BTX(benzene, toluene, and xylene) costs more to use. E85 as seen at e85prices.com as a fuel at $1.79/gal is cheaper per mile to use than E0 at $2.63. In a chevy 5.3L engine that gets 18 mpg with E0 and 13mpg with E85 we get this: E85 @ $1.79 = $.138/mile at a clean 380 horsepower. E0 @ $2.63 = $.146/mile at a dirty 355 horsepower. http://media.gm.com/media/us/e... Saudi Arabia bragged it funded 20% of Hillary's campaign. http://www.zerohedge.com/news/... With E0 more of your money goes to Arab sheiks and with E85 more of your money goes to American workers and American businesses who pay American taxes and put it in American banks and buy goods and services that you or your fellow Americans produce. Why not use cleaner burning E85, support more Americans, and pay less in cost per mile to boot.

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Fletch  rusty hesson  21 hours ago Rafael "Ted" Cruz only won Iowa by lying to everyone with coordinated fake rumor/news that evening that Ben Carson had dropped out of the race. Carson was set to have a very strong showing which could have catapulted him to a better showing in all the races, but dirty tricks from a very unethical man stopped that. Ben Carson is an ethical man. That was probably the margin that lost Trump's victory. Cruz was seen as an alternative to Carson because Trump was probably seen as a "city slicker" at that early juncture of the race in rural areas. Iowa clearly warmed up as soon as they got to know more of Trump.

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Reply View in discussion Discussion on The Hill  1260 comments Republican's Assange criticism highlights Russia rift with Trump

Fletch  His Excellency  2 days ago Ok, at least they are in his own country unlike ours who live outside the US, i.e. bankster oligarchs who run the western world.

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Fletch  His Excellency  2 days ago I believe you have the wrong guy, I never defended anything to do with Litvinenko. Putin very well may be and/or have been a bad man, but his actions in Syria have been more honorable than ours. His actions in our overthrow of the Ukraine have been more honorable than ours. Putin kicked out the Rothschild bankers from his country and he outlawed GMO food in his country, he even encourages his people to reproduce(anything under 2.1 children = extinction) Those actions speak very well of him and I wonder how long he can survive with doing those actions. Not too many live long when they go against the banksters.

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Fletch  Sober Progressive  2 days ago Ever hear of sarcasm? I'm sorry if you can not take a joke, I actually agreed with your post.

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Fletch  His Excellency  2 days ago Unlike a lot of people in this forum, I am for the protection of whistleblowers of corruption and criminal activity everywhere.

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Fletch  Ian Cochran  2 days ago Perhaps if Collin Powell were to go on the TV and explain the CIA narrative to us, maybe then we could believe.

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Fletch  Sober Progressive  2 days ago "Obama" says...Leave?!?, who said anything about leaving... ;^)

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Fletch  His Excellency  2 days ago You are saying no one could have seen it coming then? The last thing on our government's mind was war with Japan. No one other than Admiral Richardson could have predicted such a thing? The one man on the planet who knew and they fired him for it. Huh well....ok.

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Fletch  2 days ago Donna Brazile and Debbie Wasserman Schultz, how can they ever get their GOOD NAMES back? HUH? ANSWER me that! Curses to that meddling Julian Assange.

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Fletch  His Excellency  2 days ago Admiral Richardson is the first truther here We had started the war with Japan before Pearl Harbor when we were shooting down Japanese aircraft with the P-40 Flying Tigers and putting on a crippling oil embargo. We should have been expecting them to react. I suppose we needed our "Maine" to remember.

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Fletch  His Excellency  2 days ago The US, Soros, and 5 billion was how we had the coup against the democratically elected government of the Ukraine, see here right from the horse's mouth Victoria Nuland https://www.youtube.com/watch?... Here she speaks of installing their government: https://www.youtube.com/watch?... Even the US House saw they were Nazis. Only the purposely kept dumb American public is oblivious. https://consortiumnews.com/201... Literal Nazis, even now. see it for yourself:https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

Reply View in discussion Discussion on The Hill  1260 comments Republican's Assange criticism highlights Russia rift with Trump

Fletch  Alexander  2 days ago If we were to arrest everyone who predicted or thought Trump would not win, the jails would not hold them all.

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Fletch  Alexander  2 days ago Like it or not, his Wikileaks does have a perfect track record. Unlike the CIA who, if we are generous about it, does not have a perfect track record on giving out truthful information and since the 2012 defense authorization bill that contained an amendment which authorized propaganda on US soil can not be held accountable for telling lies to the gullible public. His election prediction was from watching too much American mainstream news.

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Fletch  jillibrown  2 days ago You really meant to say was "anonymous sources" in security agencies. Perhaps it could be more believable if Colin Powell were to explain the CIA narrative on the TV to us, then we would believe.

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Fletch  His Excellency  2 days ago I agree, Lobo might have listened to Richardson instead firing him and getting Kimmel. See how that works? Remember the Maine? etc. FDR had fired the previous Pacific fleet commander, Admiral James O. Richardson, because he urged the president to move the fleet from vulnerable Hawaii to safer waters in San Francisco. Richardson had predicted that the Japanese would attack the fleet if it remained at Pearl Harbor. Richardson’s replacement was Kimmel, a man who would not rock the boat.

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Fletch  hoopingandscooping  3 days ago What is good for the goose is good for the gander

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Fletch  Layla Godey  3 days ago JFK spoke eloquently of whistleblowers https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

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Fletch  Carlos Machina  3 days ago You saw them on youtube. Nazis were pretty liberal too, after all, socialist is their middle name. Literally.:^) The US House saw they were Nazis. Only the purposely kept dumb American public is oblivious. https://consortiumnews.com/201... Oh, and we took the Ukrainian people's gold for "safe keeping"(ask the Germans how that worked out) too FYI. Oh, we took Libya's too. Hmmm, wonder if we would have taken Assad and the Syrian people's gold if Russia had not stepped in? No, I don't really wonder, more of a rhetorical question. I am pretty sure of what we would have done.

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Fletch  KeithS  3 days ago We should not take the word of anyone, especially our intelligence agencies who have been continually and purposely lying to the public. Especially easy now since they have legal authority to do so since 2012 defense authorization bill. We should say, show me the proof

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Fletch  KeithS  3 days ago They might expose that the CIA is funding, arming, and training them.

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Fletch  KeithS  3 days ago Who would hack our German ally Merkel's phone then?