#your ghost stories india

[literaryvein-reblogs]

A-Z Dictionary of Esoteric Terminology

for your next poem/story (pt. 1)

Esoteric—designed for or understood by the specially initiated alone; may refer to the occult

Affenicum - a word for soul

Barakah - soul power; a blessing bestowed by a holy person

Cthonian - something associated with the earth and the underworld

Deity - the personification of some force or concept of great magnitude; a being embodying the essence or entirety of an aspect of existence

Egrigor - a thought form created by will and visualization

Fana - a Sufi term meaning "becoming absorbed in God"

Godhead - divine Nature or Essence; the source of all emanation and manifestation, of which all deities are but aspects or facets

Host - from the Latin hostia, meaning "a sacrificial victim"

Ineffable name - a name for God which either must not or cannot be spoken

Jnana - literally "primordial knowing"; wisdom; the activity of enlightenment; knowing, which transcends all dualistic conception; perfect intuition

Kalpa - the longest describable span of time

Libation - the act of pouring a liquid on a symbolic figure of a deity, or on the ground

Mania - a Roman goddess of the dead who ruled over the lares and manes in the underworld; she is sometimes called the "Mother of Ghosts"

Neti - literally, "not this, not that"; it refers to the idea that the supreme godhead is transcendent and cannot be described or understood

Occult - from Latin occuiere, "to cover up"; not revealed; secret; mysterious

Pantheon - from Greek pantheios, "of all gods"; the arrangement or hierarchy of deities and spirits within a particular system

Qlippoth - literally "shells"; usually described as a plane/s containing demons, negative or disintegrating spirits, elementals, and the degenerating shells of the dead

Rapport - resonance; an interface relationship involving energy exchange such as the relationship between hypnotist and subject, control and medium, or object and psychometrist

Sandarace - an alchemical term for the fiery form of Spirit

Thaumaturgy - miracle working; magic used to make overt changes in the material world

Unction - ceremonial anointment with oil; sometimes performed as an act of consecration; also used in rites for the severely ill or dying, as in the case of extreme unction; in ceremonial magic, unction is often used as a symbol of the quest for initiation, or the dedication (consecration) of the magician to enlightenment

Vac - literally "speech" or "word"; cosmic reason or pattern, somewhat similar to the Greek idea of Logos

Wic - an Old English word meaning "to bend, to twist, or to wiggle"; a very old term for the practice of magic; also had been translated as "to weave, or to know"

Xeni Nephidei - spirits who delight to reveal to people the hidden properties of nature

Yaksha - a nature spirit which resides in a tree, usually regarded as female; are said to accompany Kubera, the god of wealth

Zen - a system of mental stillness originating in India, where it was known as dhyana; the goal is to permit experience by direct perception or intuition

Source ⚜ More: Word Lists

[zapreportsblog]

Moves Like Jagger

➥ summary: when in need of an distraction (y/n) is your gal

➥ a/n: this was requested by @alathan13 once again I deeeply appreciate your request, they explained it to me in detail in my messages/inbox and I’m happy to comply and get this out there for you. The name of this story is based off the song and was actually the first thing that came to mind for me when writing this

➥ spider gang x reader

The sun was just beginning to set over as Miguel O'Hara, the leader of a highly skilled and diverse team, stood in his office, contemplating the imminent mission that had been brought to his attention. He knew it was not a task to be taken lightly, and assembling the perfect team was crucial. Each member had unique talents, and he believed their combined skills would work harmoniously for this mission.

Miguel took a deep breath, picking up his communicator and sending out the call to action. First on his list was (y/n), the woman with an uncanny ability to adapt to any situation and a remarkable talent for understanding and connecting with people. As the communicator buzzed, (y/n) picked up and greeted Miguel with enthusiasm.

"Hey, Miguel! What's up?" (y/n) asked cheerfully.

"Hey, (y/n)," Miguel replied. "I need you to come to my office. We have a mission that I think your talents would be perfect for."

Intrigued by the promise of a new challenge, (y/n) agreed without hesitation. She quickly made her way to Miguel's office, a sense of anticipation building with each step.

Next on the list was Miles Morales, a skilled and resourceful young man with incredible agility and the ability to blend into the shadows with ease. He answered the call, and Miguel extended the invitation for him to join the mission.

"Miles, we have a mission that requires your stealth and quick thinking," Miguel explained. "I need you here."

Miles was eager to accept, knowing that his abilities would be put to good use. He swung through the city's skyline using his Spider-Man powers, arriving at Miguel's office in no time.

Miguel's next call was to Gwen Stacy, also known as Spider-Woman or Ghost Spider to some. With her impressive acrobatic skills and scientific genius, she was a valuable asset to the team. When Gwen received Miguel's call, she immediately agreed to join the mission.

"Pavitr Prabhakar, I need your help as well," Miguel said when the next call connected. Pavitr, also known as Spider-Man India, was a skilled fighter and had the ability to harness the power of a mystical amulet. He gladly accepted the mission and prepared to join the others.

Finally, Miguel called Hobie Brown, also known as Spider-Man or Spider Punk to some. Hobie was an expert in stealth and technology, making him a vital member of the team. Hobie was ready for action and was eager to contribute his skills to the mission.

With the team assembled, they all arrived at Miguel's office, their faces filled with determination and readiness. Miguel wasted no time and began explaining the mission.

"Thank you all for coming," Miguel began. "We have a situation that requires all of your unique abilities. A dangerous criminal organization has obtained a highly advanced piece of technology that could wreak havoc on the city. Our mission is to infiltrate their hideout, neutralize the threat, and retrieve the technology."

As Miguel laid out the plan, he highlighted how each member's special talents would be crucial for the success of the mission. He emphasized (y/n)'s ability to gather valuable intel, Miles' agility for reconnaissance, Gwen's scientific expertise to handle the technology, Pavitr's combat skills for confrontation, and Hobie's knowledge of stealth and technology to disable security systems.

Each member nodded in understanding, fully aware of the gravity of the mission and the responsibility that rested on their shoulders. Their unwavering commitment to protecting the city and its inhabitants fueled their determination to succeed.

Miguel concluded, "This won't be easy, and it won't be without risks. But I believe in each and every one of you. Together, we can take down this organization and keep our city safe."

With newfound determination in their hearts, the team prepared for the mission ahead. They knew that this mission would test their limits, but they also knew that their bond as a team and their unique talents would give them the edge they needed to prevail.

As they headed out into the night, a sense of camaraderie filled the air. They were not just a team; they were a family, united by their commitment to protect the city they loved. Their journey had just begun, and they were ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead, knowing that together, they were unstoppable.

•••

Inside the dimly lit building, the team found themselves facing a group of guards standing watch near a heavily secured door. Gwen assessed the situation with a furrowed brow, knowing they needed a distraction to get past the guards without alerting others inside.

"We need to get past those guards without raising awareness to the others that may be inside," Gwen said, her mind working quickly to devise a plan.

Miles nodded in agreement. "So basically, someone needs to distract them," he added.

Pavitr hesitated for a moment before speaking up, "Well, it can't be me."

"Why not?" Gwen asked, placing a hand on her hip.

Hobie chimed in with a smirk, "Cause those bloody guards are men, and in case you haven't noticed it, love, so are us three.... That leaves you and (y/n)."

Gwen turned to (y/n) with a knowing look, and a determined glint appeared in (y/n)'s eyes. "Oh hell yeah, I've been waiting for this," she said with a confident grin.

Gwen nodded in approval. "Alright, (y/n), you're up. Time to work your magic."

The plan was set, and the team positioned themselves strategically, preparing to execute their diversion. Miles, Gwen, and Hobie took cover, blending into the shadows while keeping a close eye on the guards. Meanwhile, (y/n) took a deep breath, her heart pounding with adrenaline.

Moving with grace and confidence, (y/n) sauntered out into the open, catching the guards' attention. Her confident demeanor drew their focus away from the others, and they turned their gaze towards her, intrigued by the sudden appearance of an unexpected guest.

"Hey there, handsome," (y/n) purred, putting on an enchanting smile as she approached the guards.

Miles watched in awe as (y/n) effortlessly captivated the guards with her charm. Gwen and Hobie exchanged impressed glances, realizing they had made the right choice. (y/n)'s ability to connect with people and disarm them with her charisma was truly remarkable.

As (y/n) engaged the guards in conversation, she skillfully weaved her way through the questions they threw her way. While she had their full attention, Miles, Gwen, and Hobie quietly moved past, making their way closer to the heavily guarded door.

Gwen skillfully disabled the security system with her scientific expertise, while Hobie kept an eye out for any unexpected threats that might be lurking nearby. Meanwhile, Miles used his stealth to scout the area for any additional guards that might pose a risk.

(y/n) continued to hold the guards' attention, making light conversation as she skillfully steered them away from the entrance. Her wit and charm kept them captivated, and she didn't miss a beat, subtly leading them further from the team's location.

All was well, up until Hobie accidentally knocked something over. “Oops”

As Hobie accidentally knocked over a loose metal crate while trying to maintain his balance, the loud clatter echoed through the otherwise silent corridor. The guards' eyes shot towards the source of the noise, and their suspicions were immediately aroused. They had been trained to be alert and vigilant, and the sudden noise was enough to trigger their instincts.

Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr quickly took cover, preparing for a confrontation. However, (y/n) remained unfazed, as if the unexpected turn of events had simply become part of the choreography. Her heart raced with adrenaline, the thrill of the impending challenge fueling her spirit.

As the guards rushed towards the team, (y/n) sprang into action, moving with a fluid grace that was almost hypnotic. She twisted and swayed like a tango dancer, her movements calculated yet mesmerizing, effortlessly evading the guards' advances.

With a swift and elegant spin, she ducked under the first guard's attempted punch, her body twisting gracefully as she slid behind him. Before he could react, (y/n) delivered a swift and precise kick to the back of his knee, causing him to buckle and collapse to the ground.

“Oh my god!” Pavitr says watching (y/n)’s every move. “Oh my god she’s doing the thing!”

“What thing?” miles asks.

“That thing from that movie! You know the fight scene thing! She’s fighting those guards and dancing!”

Her every movement was like a dance, each step flowing seamlessly into the next. As the second guard lunged towards her, (y/n) stepped to the side, seamlessly guiding his momentum to miss her entirely. Her movements were as fluid as the steps of a tango, each one calculated and harmoniously connected.

In one swift motion, she reached out and grabbed the guard's arm, twisting it behind his back with such precision that he could do nothing but follow her lead. The two moved in perfect synchronization, their bodies dancing in harmony with the rhythm of the fight.

As the dance of combat continued, (y/n) used her agility to her advantage, effortlessly evading the guard's strikes and retaliating with her own well-timed moves. Every punch and kick were executed with the grace and precision of a dancer, leaving the guard bewildered and off-balance.

With a final flourish, (y/n) sent the guard spinning away, leaving him sprawled on the ground, disarmed and defeated. She stood tall, her chest heaving with adrenaline, a triumphant smile on her lips.

“Yessssss Queen!” Pavitr screams out jumping up and down in excitement only to be stopped and hit on the shoulder by Hobie.

“Sorry,” he whispers having noticed just how loud he was being.

The team watched in awe, realizing they were witnessing something extraordinary. (y/n)'s unique fighting style was a breathtaking display of skill and artistry, blending the grace of a dancer with the precision of a master martial artist.

As the echoes of the fight dance scene subsided, (y/n) turned to her teammates, a spark of excitement in her eyes. "Shall we keep going?" she asked, her voice laced with confidence.

Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr exchanged glances, reinvigorated by (y/n)'s energy. Together, they stood ready to face any challenge that lay ahead, knowing that with their collective talents and (y/n)'s extraordinary dance of combat, they were an unstoppable force.

With renewed determination, the team pressed on, knowing that the mission was far from over. But in that moment, they felt a deeper connection than ever before, united not only by their shared purpose but also by the unique bond they had forged through the artistry of their fight dance scene.

[fatehbaz]

what does your username mean?

Cat ghost.

As child. Would go to library, to look at books about creatures, with a pen and notepad. Or sit before a television watching "nature" documentary stuff, with a pen and notepad. Was fixated on habitats. The context. Did not like to isolate an individual creature from the wider ecological community. This led to interest in geography, distribution range maps. Was aware that, in popular perception, some creatures were strongly associated with a particular place. "Lion is an African animal. Tiger is an Asian animal." Allegedly. And other stereotypes (many of them, I would later come to learn, due to chauvinism, exoticism, Orientalism, colonialism, etc.). Came across a kind of large textbook on wild cats. Saw the historical distribution maps. Only a few centuries ago, tigers were in Anatolia, the Caucasus, near the shores of the Black Sea. Was intrigued. From the middle of the twentieth century onward, the lion and cheetah were so closely associated with Africa, where like over 99% of their range was located. And yet. There remains a small remnant population of nearly-extinct Asiatic lions far away within India''s borders. And there remains a small remnant population of nearly-extinct Asiatic cheetahs within Iran's borders. And all that space, in between, where both cats were now extinct. Only 100 years ago, tiger, lion, leopard, and cheetah all lived generally near each other, still, in eastern Anatolia, near Mesopotamia, etc. And now, only a few dozen wild native cheetah remain on the entire continent of Asia.

"Cheetah". The word for this cat is from South Asia. Through Hindi, from Sanskrit.

"What happened?" I read on. Cheetahs were present within the national borders of what is now India, along with tigers, lions, and leopards. By the 1500s, there was a tradition in South Asia, where some in the Mughal aristocracy enjoyed using cheetahs as companions in sport hunting. The cats would be captured in the wild, and then trained, and then brought along on royal hunts. The cat was the star athlete, goaded into chasing down prey, for the entertainment of the hunting party. There are elaborate paintings, commissioned by Mughal courts and some now displayed in collections of European museums, depicting trained cheetah hunts. It has since been popularly said that Akbar was particularly fond of cheetahs. (Akbar the Great was the "emperor" who is credited often for consolidating Mughal state power across India, solidifying regional power by building administrative systems/structures in India ["forging an empire out of fiefdoms"] that would later eventually be manipulated and overtaken by the British Empire. According to some tellings of the historical narrative.)

Accurate or not, it was said that at any one time, Akbar possessed one thousand cheetahs. A vast royal menagerie. The names of several of the most celebrated cheetahs are still known. In some stories, when he was still young, Akbar was presented with a gift. His very first cheetah: Fatehbaz.

This disturbed me. A child, reading this book, I was upset by the idea of such a vast menagerie of wild animals. Large wild animals, with great need for food, space, enrichment. I was upset by the exploitation of captive wild animals as displays of aristocratic wealth, not just in the Mughal state(s), but also those menageires and exhibitions elsewhere, both earlier and later in time: the royal hunts of Assyrian kings, the Roman arenas, Charlemagne's elephants, European circuses.

So, as a child, I imagined that Fatehbaz resisted the captivity. Like in a daydream, a fantasy. I imagined a royal menagerie breaking free from restraint. I imagined elephants and rhinos and tigers and lions and leopards and jackals and crocodiles. I imagined the beasts attacking an emperor's court. But there are now less than one hundred cheetahs which survive in the wild in Asia. And when Mughal statecraft gave way to European statecraft, when Britain moved into South Asia, the bounty hunting specifically targeted big cats. And, meanwhile, the cats were confronted indirectly with habitat destruction, commodity crop monocultures, industrial-scale resource extraction. So I came to imagine the ghosts of cats. The ghost of a cheetah like Fatehbaz on the Indus plain. The ghost of a jaguar in the Sonoran desert. The ghost of a lion on the Mediterranean coast. The ghost of a tiger on the Amu Darya shore beyond Bukhara, where even the Aral Sea itself has vanished.

[goodomensafterdark]

Feature Fic Fursday - Bathing/Washing

FFF - Feature Fic Fursday!

This is a special day of the week: fic recs Thursday (pronounced à la Française)!

Each week, we will browse the Good Omens After Dark official AO3 collection, choose a tag and promote the fics that are featured in it!

Have a tag idea for the next week? Comment it!

Have other fic recs, or your own fic would qualify for the tag? Reblog and throw in the link!

Tag of the week: Bathing/Washing

Coming Home - A Choose Your Own Adventure Story brought to you by the GOAD Writers Guild!

We are not biased at all pushing it up first on this week’s FFF.

Writers are: Aerenii, AngelZash, anna_bird, Calico, cheeseplants, cordsycords, crowleyscardigan, domesticated_cryptid, DoonaRose, ElysiumLeo (The_Nerd_Alert), fishey_me, FuzzyGoblin, GaiasEyes, hakunahistata, harlotofgod, IneffablyRuined, kiripin, Kotias, LemonTart, Letha, Mrs_Cake_Is_Here, NooRose93, PaperclipNinja, polychrome, SecretlyWingedPhantom (NoraStVincent), sixbynine, startledplatypus, Transplantedmate, whatareyou42, Wingsofopal, y2bs, Zin_Lynn

Rating: Explicit

Genres: choose your own sexy times.

Word count: 117,216 words

Chapter count: 201 chapters (complete)

Summary: Having thwarted yet another attempt at ending the world, Aziraphale and Crowley are, in fact, ready to have sex now. Just how successful their sex shall be depends on the discerning decision-making of you, dear reader…

More than thirty authors combine to bring you over one hundred possible ways that the first night at the South Downs cottage might play out. Aziraphale and Crowley - and you - will embark on a thrilling voyage of self-discovery from which no one will emerge unchanged.

Someone is Calling Him Shoreward by harlotofgod

Comes with a podfic by Nosferatini!

Rating: Explicit

Genres: This is a ghost story.

Word count: 61,467 words

Chapter count: 13 chapters (complete)

Summary: “There’s a storm coming.” The stranger’s words are torn neatly away by the wind like India paper from a Bible, but Crowley reads them on his lips. No shit, he thinks. He nods and shoves his freezing hands deeper into his pockets as icy rain stings his cheeks. Silly idea, wandering up here as the black, roiling clouds coursed towards the shore. The waves are white-tipped and boiling, and any sounds not snatched up by the wind are swiftly claimed by the steady rumble of seawater crashing against indifferent cliffs below.

A Bathhouse Pretense by Doonarose

Rating: Explicit

Genres: smut

Word count: 17,837 words

Chapter count: 2 chapters (complete)

Summary: Aziraphale seeks Crowley out in 38 BC Rome, finding him in a bathhouse which just so happens to be hosting an orgy. Aziraphale is there to discuss upcoming celestial business, Crowley is there for a good time, but when a certain demon happens to drop by, it gives them an (admittedly flimsy) excuse to get close, and then closer still. First time sex in the back corner bath, canon compliant, much edging, feelings and filth.

The Queen’s Burden by OneDapperCat

Rating: Explicit

Genres: smut, angst

Word count: 34,101 words

Chapter count: 14 chapters (complete)

Summary: While Aziraphale is out of town, Crowley decides to exact some vigilante justice on a particularly detestable human. A curious Lucifer is drawn out from Hell, and decides it’s time Aziraphale and Crowley play a game with him; a game which threatens to separate the couple forever.  CW: dubious consent, non-con drug use, emotional abuse, physical assault, non-consensual touching, body dysmorphia, mentions of past non-con.

A Covenant of Temptation by Yes_its_unholy

Rating: Not Rated

Genres: priest AU

Word count: 13,408 words

Chapter count: 3 chapters (to be completed)

Summary: “I am no longer my own, but thine. Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt. Put me to doing, put me to suffering. Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee, exalted for thee or brought low for thee. Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing. I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal. And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it. And the covenant which I have made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.” 

In which a naive bookseller is seduced by a vicar who is used to getting what he wants.

The Pickled Angel by Depressedpenguin2

Rating: Explicit

Genres: Crack

Word count: 1,298 words

Chapter count: one-shot

Summary: Crack- fic based on an inside joke in the after dark writers chat.

Alphabet by Depressedpenguin2

Rating: Explicit

Genres: smut

Word count: 30,000 words

Chapter count: 26 chapters (complete)

Summary: Smutty Alphabet for our ineffable husbands.

Steamy April Showers by mellow_cello_charm

Rating: Explicit

Genres: smut

Word count: 3,969 words

Chapter count: one-shot

Summary: The South Downs, spring. ---------------- “Have a shower? Together?”

There were two wine glasses on the coffee table. Next to them, an empty bottle of Chateau Lafite 1875, and a plate with crumbs. The fire was still going strong, of course, and it was dark and rainy outside, of course.

Crowley stretched across the sofa like a cat with a plan. “You deserve it, angel. We deserve it. After such an arduous week. All those meetings with the Street Traders Association—”

Aziraphale groaned. “Yes, I suppose. But we don’t need baths. I can just miracle away all traces of the London smell.”

“ ‘Course you can, but that’s no fun. We don’t need any of this.” Crowley waved his hand at their cottagey surroundings. “Or food, or wine, or y’know, what we did earlier today.”

Aziraphale blushed and smiled.

“I beg to differ on your last point.” ---------------- It's an awfully rainy day, but that doesn't stop Crowley and Aziraphale from enjoying themselves around their new home.

You and I by ASouthernPansie (Dykotomy)

Rating: Explicit

Genres: smut

Word count: 4,654 words

Chapter count: one-shot

Summary: Takes place just after the end of season 3. Another Apocalypse averted, Heaven and Hell have left the building and indeed the galaxy, and the ineffable duo finally got to have some Us Time. And then some more.

* * *

“You… we… your mouth… ngk…” Crowley materialises black silk pyjamas onto himself, with a charming crimson trim, feeling self-conscious beside the fully-dressed angel.“…You were in me.”

“Yes dear. A few times. And you in me. You seemed to like it.”

give ourselves one more chance by crowleyscardigan

Rating: Explicit

Genres: smut

Word count: 9,164 words

Chapter count: 2 chapters (complete)

Summary: Pressed against the wall by a very not-nice demon three days before the world is scheduled to end, Aziraphale makes a bold move. The result is rather… nice.

They were safe by Transplantedmate

Rating: Explicit

Genres: fluff and smut

Word count: 4,444 words

Chapter count: one-shot

Summary: Soft domestic fluff and smut, set after all is resolved in season 3. The ineffables deserve a break and so do we all. Set right after Christmas.

Featuring: mentions of ducks, hair grooming as a love language, bathtub fluff, bathtub spice, somewhat emotional sex.

The Stars Are Brightly Shining by milk_teeth421

Rating: Explicit

Genres: fluff, angst with a happy ending

Word count: 31,917 words

Chapter count: 11 chapters (complete)

Summary: Crowley thought about the night of the Christ child’s birth now as he stood on the sidewalk, anxiously playing with the ribbon on top of the small gift. It hadn't been December on that night thousands of years ago, and it certainly hadn't been snowing in that Satan forsaken desert. But the biggest difference between that night and now, for Crowley at least, was that he still had ages to go before he realised what Aziraphale meant to him. They still had centuries ahead of them to dance around each other - denying their association, denying The Arrangement, denying their feelings for one another. That night in Bethlehem, neither one of them could have imagined what their relationship was going to become, or how badly they would hurt one another some 2,000 years later.

A post season 2 fic with a Christmas twist

In Motion by sixbynine

Rating: Explicit

Genres: fluff and smut

Word count: 19,632 words

Chapter count: 8 chapters (complete)

Part 1 of the series In Motion

Summary: Crowley can't help himself from looking at things he shouldn't. Or putting his foot firmly in his mouth when apologising for it.

Or

Aziraphale tries his hand at poetry, Crowley was never meant to find it. Let alone respond!

That’s all, folks!!

*sweats in having to change the meme again very soon*

[thebiggestfuckgiven]

Regarding chapter 7 - Lose Your Soul of HIDBV, Danny mentions in passing that the book Entities Beyond the Veil is written not only in Ghost Speak, but in Tamil as well. Tamil is similar to Sanskrit, in that it’s one of the oldest languages to exist. It originates from South India.

This will very much tie in to some background lore about Pariah Dark and his origins. I’m not entirely sure I’ll be able to get into it during the fic, so I might do a lore drop here instead— but I’m quite eager to share it with you all!

Oh! and these origins connect as well to the Infinite King’s current summoning circle, the design of which may or may not be revealed throughout the story..

[ghost-mantis]

Hunter and Hunted: Historical Horror Reading For Your Halloween

Burned out on masked stabbers? Yawning at the movie monster of the week? Alien abductions falling as flat as a cow dropped from a tractor beam?

Try reading some historical accounts of people hunting man-eating Tigers in India and never walk willingly into the dark again!

Towards the end of the colonial era in India, growing populations and deforestation were causing the same issues with wildlife that we see today. The difference being, there were thousands and thousands of tigers and leopards, far bigger populations than today, prowling the land.

And while still rare, a lot more animals means a lot more potential murder cats. In an era just before and during the advent of cars and phones, most people still lived in small communities surrounded by fields and forest. People that were easy prey for big cats that were too elderly or injured to hunt other prey, or just decided they liked to eat humans.

So imagine you and your friends are out in the fields or at the well doing your normal thing…

And a Giant Goddamn Tiger leaps out of the grass, grabs your friend, and drags them screaming into the woods to eat them. Right in front of you.

Oh Shit!The Economy!

Or when you walk home, the last person in line silently disappears and the only trace left behind is a piece of clothing.

This was the reality across many places in India.

Imagine this happening to SEVERAL HUNDRED PEOPLE in your community over the course of a few years. From ONE Tiger. And everyday you leave the house praying you aren’t next, while you can do fuckall about it.

Fuck…

This thing is a goddamn ghost, and while volunteer hunters go after the thing, they’re always one step behind. News of sightings and kills travels only as fast as people can walk, and the Tiger is hitting multiple villages in the region.

So along comes this guy from out of nowhere, he tells you he works on the railway or something? Then he tells you he’s going to try and kill this tiger. Just another trophy hunting jackass right?

But this guy never asks for anything other than a place to sleep and maybe a cup of tea if you can spare it.

And he’s running himself ragged walking 20+ miles a day between villages to where the tiger was last seen. For weeks or months on end.

And every night he sits alone, in the dark, in the woods, by a tethered farm animal he bought off you. Or the corpse of a half-eaten victim. Sometimes in a low tree branch or just sitting on the fucking ground.

The crazy bastard is hunting something that very much wants to kill and eat him. A thing that can see in the dark where he can not. By moonlight.

Or if seen during the day, the guy walks in after the Tiger, tracking the paw prints and knowing it is actively hunting him.

What could possibly go wrong?

But somehow, using the finest old-timey gun technology, he kills these nightmare monsters again and again. Some while they’re charging him!

He never asks for a dime, never cashed in a government reward, and takes the dead tiger back to the locals to prove its dead and provide closure and peace of mind. He genuinely cared about the locals and did everything he could to help at great personal risk. For decades.

Jim Corbett slayed man eating monsters under terrible odds like he was the goddamn final girl of every horror movie. And while it sounds far-fetched, his accounts were backed by many people, and his own photographs.

In his later days he became a staunch conservationist and recorded his tales for all to read in a number of books that read like the greatest horror fiction.

He was so beloved that he has a national park and a species of Tiger named after him!

All his works are available free on the Internet Archive. There’s also a YouTube channel with narrated versions of all his stories and context. The narrator grew up reading these accounts and does a fantastic job making audiobook recordings of his stories!

His accounts and this history have largely faded from public memory, but make for some of the finest horror reading ever penned.

And he wasn’t the only one doing this! Another hunter in the same era, Kenneth Anderson, was dedicated to hunting man-eating Tigers and Leopards across India.

Anderson, a madman who would sit in a blind made of two beds and a chair, and armed with a dying flashlight and a rifle, peered out into the dark and went face to face with one such monster. Point blank in pitch dark.

Just look at these creepy-ass covers and tell me this isn’t horror.

There are also written accounts of man-eating sloth bears, serial killer wild elephants, and general animal related nightmare fuel.

I’ll be writing about African man-eater books in a subsequent post. Many accounts are just as terrifying, all the more because it’s not fiction.

Happy Reading and Sleep Tight!

[yonderghostshistories]

I’m gonna do my own lil tag game, this time…..it’s-

……MONTY PYTHON RELATED!

SPECIFICALLY,

How did you (yes, you, the mutual and/or other Tumblr user reading this) get into Monty Python?

To elaborate, what is your Monty Python Fan Origin Story? To further elaborate, how did you become aware of and become a fan of Monty Python? Tag 6 or more (or less, it’s absolutely fine either way!) of your mutuals!

I’ll start first. I first became (properly) aware of Monty Python when I was (and still am) in the Six Idiots/ThemThere Fandom (if you don’t know who the Six Idiots/ThemThere are, they’re a British Comedy Troupe consisting of the following 6 members; Mathew Baynton, Simon Farnaby, Martha Howe-Douglas, Jim Howick, Laurence Rickard and Ben Willbond. They were first originally together in the children’s historical comedy sketch show “Horrible Histories” which ran from 2009 to 2014, and since then have went on to create, write and star in the following projects, such as the fantasy comedy “Yonderland”, the Shakespeare comedy film “Bill” (2015) and the supernatural family BBC sitcom “Ghosts”) and I saw a video compilation on YouTube comparing clips/scenes from various Six Idiots/ThemThere projects and their inspirations from clips/scenes from various Monty Python projects, which really cemented in my head (especially after becoming a Python fan) that the Six Idiots truly are the “Monty Python” of this generation, or at least the Six Idiots are like Gen Z Monty Python (imo that is).

Anyway, starting in 2023, when I was on holiday with my family to see my grandparents in India, I started watching the MP films (specifically Holy Grail (1975) and Life of Brian (1979)) for the first time on my (barely working) laptop when both movies were freely available to watch in their entirety on YouTube (shocking, I know right?). And tbh, they were absolutely HILARIOUS! (Plus it was at this time that I had realised my first actual proper bisexual awakening when especially watching LoB, specifically the scenes where both Brian and Judith were naked, and thankfully my parents weren’t there to witness this absolute monstrosity (to them at least) and I have to say, thanks LoB :))👍🩷💜💙)

Then when I came back home to England, I watched The Meaning of Life (1983) (because pirating it on my nearly battered old laptop was really hard cuz it kept annoyingly pausing at random points in the movie) and so I asked either my mum or brother (I can’t remember exactly lol) to rent the movie MoL on Amazon Prime, and after watching it, I have to say, it was also pretty amazing! I think MoL is my personal favourite movie of the bunch tbh, cuz in a weird, surreally Pythonesque avante garde way, it was very emotional and cathartic (to me at least) and it felt fitting as a finale to Python as a whole (at least at the time).

After that, I became REALLY, like, REALLY into Python, I watched some of the sketches, some clips of the films, I bought some of the merchandise, I watched and bought DVDs of some of the Pythons’ other projects, etc.

My first Python crush was Terry Jones, but now my 2 absolute crushes are now firmly Graham Chapman AND Terry Jones, BUT….my 3-way Python crushes are; Graham Chapman, Terry Jones AND Michael Palin (tho I do love them all tbh as (as my mum says) im a diplomat lmao, so I do love Eric Idle, John Cleese, and Terry Gilliam equally too, but for the latter 3 I’m not as attracted to them as the former 3, if that makes sense?). Also, I absolutely STAN Carol Cleveland, Connie Booth and Neil Innes, THEYRE THE BEST FR AHHHH

Plus being in the MP fandom has genuinely made my life better, as I met some of my most WONDERFUL and LOVELY and KIND mutuals of all time, especially my bestest of ALL online bestie friends, @commonguttersnipe !! (Love you Commie darling <33, and she also makes pretty great MP fanfics imo too :))🫶❤️)

Ok, so uhh…..that’s my Monty Python Fan Origin Story.

I now tag: @commonguttersnipe @thehistoryone @michael-palin-is-the-loml

@knoxoverstreet16 @chapmanzz @vilhjalmr

[highwaytothedangerzone502]

Foxtrot Alpha Alpha - Chapter 40

Pairing: Hangman x Female OC

Word Count: 1407

Warnings: Swearing, violence, pregnancy complications

Summary: Hangman learned his lesson a long time ago to never show his true feelings when someone's words or actions hurt him. To do so showed weakness that could be exploited, and Seresin men couldn't show weakness. Of course, there was an exception to every rule, and Jake's always came in the form of women, three in particular: his mom, Juliette Kazansky, and the girl whose name he could no longer bring himself to speak. She was the girl that got away; she was his biggest 'what if' and his biggest regret; she would forever be the ghost that haunted his dreams. Jake believed that's where she'd stay, for he would surely never see her again after what he did.

Or so he thought.

Notes: This is the sequel to India Lima Yankee; I'm using the same callsign for the Female OC as in Ghost Story because I just really like it, but they are different characters; chapters in italics are flashbacks.

Chapter Songs: Hi Lo Hold On For Your Life

****

Ghost

Amid the chaos and fending for her life, Hangman's, and Maverick's, Ghost had forgotten a crucial thing: Rooster and Juliette. They were meant to swing by with their keys, and Ghost only remembered when she saw Rooster standing bewildered in the doorway, staring at the all-out brawl. His eyes slid to Ghost first, still lying on the floor and barely clinging to consciousness. She refused to pass out, terrified of what she'd wake up to if she did. Hangman had blood all over him, but whether it was his, Kyle's, or Nick's, Ghost couldn't tell. Maverick had blood on him, too, but not near as much as her boyfriend.

Get up! Get up! Get up! Ghost screamed silently at herself. Help them!

Her brain sent the order to her muscles, but they refused to obey. Meanwhile, Rooster entered the fray, joining Maverick in his endeavor to take down Nick once and for all. Hangman still battled Kyle, the latter gradually gaining the upper hand. Ghost could see her boyfriend's movements slowing down, could see him struggling to stay standing, but he endured.

Help him damn it! Get up and do something! Ghost snarled internally at herself. With a Herculean effort, she began the painful process of pushing herself up. Her vision swam from the concussion she knew she had, and her head throbbed where it'd hit the corner of the TV stand. It wouldn't surprise her if it were bleeding, but that could be handled later. For now, Ghost had to help the situation rather than lying useless on the floor, no matter how badly her head hurt.

Ghost grabbed hold of the TV stand and used it to hoist herself up. She waited for her vision to stop swimming, although even when the swirling halted, it remained teetering from side to side. Still, it was better than it had been, and Ghost had Kyle's ass to kick. She took a step forward right as Hangman crouched and rushed at Kyle football-style, grabbing his waist and knocking him back directly into the coffee table, which broke and splintered on impact. She cringed, the sound exponentially louder to Ghost than it truly was, her hearing hypersensitive due to the concussion. She shut her eyes, willing the pounding in her head to calm down, and when she opened them again, Ghost found Hangman sitting atop Kyle, pinning him to the ground. Scratches marred his arms, and blood trickled down his face and soaked his shirt, but he acted okay. Looking to her left, she saw Maverick and Rooster stumble backward from Nick exploding upwards from the ground. How was he still going? 

Ghost blinked, and in that short time span, Nick collapsed to the ground. Behind him stood Juliette, a wooden baseball bat in her hands, lifted like she was ready to swing again if Nick stood. Then-

Silence.

The quiet- a sharp contrast to the noise from the brawl- exacerbated the ringing in Ghost's ears. She barely heard Rooster exclaim to Juliette, "What are you doing here?!" before hurling the contents of her stomach onto the floor. 

"Ghost?!" Hangman shouted as she collapsed to her knees. Maverick rushed to her side, pulling her hair back as she vomited two more times. 

"The cops will be here shortly," Juliette's distant voice said shakily. 

"I told you to wait in the car!" Rooster snapped, righting the toppled armchair and ushering her into it. "What the hell were you thinking coming in here?"

"You were taking too long. I thought something might be wrong. I barely got to the window when I saw the fight, so I ran back to the car and grabbed the crowbar. When I returned and saw Nick stand, I realized he didn't know I was there, I saw the opportunity and took it."

"You took it! And put yourself and the twins in dang-"

"Bradley, I had the chance to do something, and I did it! Don't yell at me right now. We can argue about this later. For now, make sure Nick stays down until the cops come here." Juliette's tone, firm and furious, forced Rooster to listen. He grudgingly stalked over to the unconscious Seresin brother and pinned his arms behind his back.

"Ghost, you okay?" Juliette asked from across the room.

"My head..." Ghost groaned, clutching the backside of it. Warm liquid touched her skin, confirming her suspicion that it'd been bleeding.

"Lean back," Maverick ordered kindly. Ghost listened willingly but kept her eyes on Hangman, scanning him for any injuries. She couldn't see any through his blood-soaked shirt. 

"Jake, are you okay?" she croaked out.

"I'm good." 

Ghost noticed his wan pallor and decided Hangman was anything but 'good.' "Mav, help me over to him."

The Captain shook his head. "I don't think-"

"Either you help me, or I do it myself."

With a sigh of defeat, Maverick assisted Ghost in standing, keeping a firm hand around her waist to keep her upright. She sank to her knees beside Hangman the moment she reached him and gingerly grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at her. "Is the blood yours or-"

"I don't know," Hangman admitted, leaning back when Maverick took over restraining Kyle, who had begun to stir. He sat on his heels and reached out to tug Ghost closer to him. She willingly allowed the embrace, melting in his arms when he kissed the top of her head. 

"Jules, you okay?" Ghost slurred slightly, forcing her eyes to stay open. Sleep sounded like the best possible thing. It's all she could think about.

"Yeah. Shaken, but good. I'll help in a second and-"

"You going to stay right there until the cops come," Rooster interrupted shortly. "Your blood pressure is high enough. I don't want it getting any-"

Police entering the scene cut him off, and suddenly, a new flurry of activity overtook the apartment. Hangman tried standing but couldn't; instead, he swayed in place as if he might pass out. Ghost attributed it to the adrenaline wearing off, but when he fell forward and caught himself on all fours, that's when she saw the knife embedded in his back. Saw the slash wounds in his shirt, blood seeping out like little waterfalls. 

Ghost had never screamed in her life before, but she did then. Screamed for someone to help him as the last of his strength finally gave out, and he collapsed in a heap. Ghost tried catching him, but her own injuries had zapped her strength, so the most she did was stop his head from crashing into the debris of the broken coffee table.

Paramedics surrounded them, and Ghost scrambled backward to allow them to work. Maverick dropped to her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Ghost's head spun once more, but this time, not from her concussion. From seeing Hangman's ghastly injuries. 

The paramedics blocked her view of him, and all she could think was that they needed more EMTs. So many injuries and so few people. God must've heard her thoughts because more first responders arrived shortly after, and they assessed her injuries along with Maverick's. The Captain, outside of a possible mild concussion and some wounds that would need minor stitching, was relatively okay. She was in the same boat, albeit with a moderate, possibly severe, concussion. 

"What- Jake. How's- how's Jake?" Ghost demanded, straining to see past the paramedics. 

"Get off me, pigs!" Nick's irate shouts pierced the air, and the sound caused a shudder to run down Ghost's spine. Maverick stood, expression murderous and only distorted by a brief wince of pain. He stared Nick down, watching him be dragged away by two burly cops. If looks could kill...

"We need to get him to the emergency room immediately," an EMT declared, capturing Ghost's attention. "We need a helicopter. Ambulance won't be fast enough."

"One's on the way," another responded.

"Good. Hey, uh, Miss, are you okay?" The man referred to Juliette. Ghost peered around him to study her friend, disturbed to find her standing and staring into space. Rooster cupped his fiancée's face, desperately attempting to get her attention. He failed, only succeeding in catching Juliette when her legs gave out from underneath her. He lay her on the floor, and then, Ghost noticed with horror that her best friend's body twitched and jerked uncontrollably; her eyes rolled in the back of her head. 

Juliette was having a seizure.

****

Tags: @lgg5989 @shanimallina87 @polikszena @summ3rlotus @icemansgirl1999 @supernaturaldawning @thedarkinmansfield @lyannaforpresident @lapilark @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth @simpofthecentury @shadeops21 @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @double-j @bradshawsandbridgetons @catsandgeekyandnerd @peachiicherries @multifandomcnova @fandomsstolemylife00 @bookloverhorses @mak-32 @midnightmagpiemama @luckyladycreator2 @ellamae021 @kmc1989 @atarmychick007 @rotating-obsessions @julieandthe-stan-toms @elisha-chloe

Chapters: Chp 1 Chp 2 Chp 3 Chp 4 Chp 5 Chp 6 Chp 7 Chp 8 Chp 9 Chp 10 Chp 11 Chp 12 Chp 13 Chp 14 Chp 15 Chp 16 Chp 17 Chp 18 Chp 19 Chp 20 Chp 21 Chp 22 Chp 23Chp 24 Chp 25 Chp 26 Chp 27 Chp 28 Chp 29 Chp 30 Chp 31 Chp 32 Chp 33 Chp 34 Chp 35 Chp 36 Chp 37 Chp 38 Chp 39 Chp 40

If you're not on the tag list and want to be, just let me know :)

[makapatag]

Huge ass detail map for the region of the first few Arcs of THE KNIGHT VAGRANT. Pemi Archipelago is a sun-scourged land inspired by the likes of Borneo, Bali, Sulawesi, Mindanao, and the Ryukyu Archipelago. It is situated right beside the End of the World to the Southeast, where the islands eventually end into eternal sea.

THE KNIGHT VAGRANT is my ongoing new weird progression spirit cultivation fantasy web serial on Royal Road! If you're interested, blurb below the cut hehe

A world shorn of light. A mystic swordhand shorn of memory. Let your Will be done. Until all beings are free.

Death held them, once, for the quickest second. Until the Adamantine Path reaped its due.

Raxri Uttara the Once-Dead walks again, rejuvenated by the Medicine Awoken. A swordgendered blade saint now shorn of their accumulation. Arisen, without memory, they must wander again this Wheel of Wandering, wield the God-Dissolving Darkness to flense away the forgetting's dirt, so that they may arrive again at the truth, and learn new mystic and martial arts to recover their failing Will Furnace. They must seek revelation from their past, understand again the vaunted world of the Utter Islands, and choose, ultimately, between vengeance or enlightenment. If they could remember who or what wronged them...

Upon that peak, will they choose the right blade? Let their enlightenment be that such a duality is delusion.The Termagant Buddha watches closely.

Giant cats turned into apartment complexes, ghost horse steeds that tire not, walking giant mechanical armors turned into public transportation, charnel wizards summoning the long-dead, witches wielding the Pureflame of Creation, the Machine God beginning its slick advance into forever progress... the Age of Furor is upon us.

The Latter Day of the Law.

THE KNIGHT VAGRANT is a new weird progression fantasy web novel in the universe of Wandering, a world wrought from Esoteric Buddhism and Maritime Asia!

WHAT TO EXPECT

- Progression Fantasy that is Journey to the West meets Naruto meets Cradle by Will Wight, Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin, and Grace of Kings by Ken Liu.

- An MC that has lost all memory and power and must claw their way back up, relearning everything they've done during their years as a prodigious cultivator, accumulator and attainer. They're also essentially an attractive androgynous nonbinary femboy MC who is not a twink and is an archetypical Holy Fool Trickster (with an emphasis on the Fool early on!) inspired by the likes of Sun Wukong, Shakyamuni Buddha, Monkey D Luffy, and Padmasambhava.

- Multiple Cultivation Systems within the world, with the primary one inspired by Esoteric/Tantric Buddhism. Expect classic Daoist Cultivation, Dual Cultivation, Animistic Cultivation, Hermetic Cultivation, Esoteric Muslim Cultivation, Tantric Shaivist Cultivation, Esoteric Catholic Cultivation and more!

- A mystic esoteric fantasy archipelago inspired by cultures and faiths of the Nirvana Route/Maritime Silk Road (From the Arabian Sea to India to Indonesia to the Philippines to China to Korea to Japan)!

- In depth supernatural martial arts inspired by my own practices in FMA, Muay Thai, Karate, and MMA!

- A unique, Southeast Asian twist on the cultivation genre, emphasizing unique combinations and interesting parallels from Southeast Asian cultures with East Asian cultures!

- An adventure story inspired by the likes of Elden Ring, One Piece, Dragon Ball, and Journey to the West!

- Content Warnings for the following: Violence, Body Horror, Mild Horror, Mild Sexual Content (can get racy but nowhere near smut!), Bigotry, Warfare, Class Struggle, Revolution, Betrayals, Strong Language

[take-a-cchonce]

My New Masterlist

1. Don't Forget Where You Belong (Series for Wordplay) (T)

Ghost AU

Harry and Louis own a Bed and Breakfast on the summer island of Liset. When they host Niall, an investigator, they realise there's more to the Island, and their property, than they thought.

2. Get Out of My Kitchen (E):

part 1 and part 2 (the smut)

“Get out of my kitchen,”

Harry quickly stalked over, poking his finger into Louis’ ribs. “Lou, you’re- I’m trying to cook over here. Out of my kitchen. I mean it. Out. Take the whole bloody block of it if you must but don’t-”

“Your kitchen, huh? Say that again,” Louis challenged, tilting his head to the side, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

Read on AO3 

3. You Control Me (Call This What You Like) (1doff) (E)

The one where Louis almost leaves his mic on while cockwarming Harry <3

Read on AO3

4.  If You Like Causing Trouble Up in Hotel Rooms (E)

The one where Harry makes Louis wear a buttplug throughout the whole day on his LATAM press tour.

Read on AO3

5. The Little Things You Do (1DLibrary exchange) (G):

“What’s that supposed to mean, then? I’m romantic, aren’t I?!” His voice went up an octave with indignation and Harry couldn’t help but giggle at the offended look on his face.

Harry sat back up from where he was snuggled up with Louis, careful to not spill any of his wine onto the older man as he leaned forward to peck his cheek. “Sure you are, Lou,” he grinned.

Read on AO3

6. He's An Angel (1D Folklore Fest) (G):

What might be the oldest enemies to lovers story, loosely based on a folktale from my part of India <3

Read on AO3

7. I Put A Spell On You (1D Teamwork Fest) (M):

With @elmeiko88 <3

Come and discover Harry, our big-hearted witch, and Louis, our shifter cat. Zayn, our Guardian and Liam, his golden retriever. And of course, not forgetting Niall, who pole dances ;)

How their paths crossed, how their paths have always been linked...

Read on AO3

8. One Life For The Two of Us (miniseries for BMV) (M)

A WW2 AU fic with military doctor! Harry and Soldier! Louis

9. Let Me Be Your Last First Kiss (BMV Fest) (G):

Soulmates AU -

There was one boy in particular, with rectangular glasses and a beanie pulled down over his hair who caught his eye, gesturing extravagantly as he boomed out the lines to what sounded like Grease in front of a small group gathered appreciatively in front of him. 

10. When I'm Fat and Old (BMV Fest) (G):

Louis shares his dreams of them growing old together <3

11.It Was Always You (BMV Fest) (G):

But standing here, in the urinals, of all places, Louis would have put his hand on a DVD of Grease and sworn to it. 

He was in love.

12. Dress Me Up (T):

Louis was just doing his best to protect the neighborhood. Getting injured wasn’t the plan. Harry gets worried and just wants his husband to feel better. Fluff ensues.

Read on AO3

1. I'd Follow You To Any Place (G):

“I do,” Niall hummed, placing his chin on Harry’s shoulder, his heart racing a little faster at how the words sounded, as silly as it was. “We’ll go there someday too. Wanna dive there with you. Dive in all the places with you. Hell, I’d dive in that enclosure with you,” He pointed his thumb over his shoulder to a corridor winding away.

OR

The one where Niall and Harry are on vacation in Bali <3

2. Hope We Grow Old, But We Never Grow Up (BMV Fest) (G):

Niall Horan x Zayn Malik

Three glimpses into a snowed in day with Ziall!

[the-vixen]

𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐜𝐨𝐥 : 𝙀𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙃𝙪𝙣𝙩 𝙭 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

PART 8 PART 9 PART 10

-------- MASTERLIST

When you are sent on a mission to rescue Ethan Hunt from prison, the events that domino will force you to face the ghosts of your past and your guilt tied to Ethan.

This takes place throughout the events of ghost protocol. There will be a change in the story and the events of the mission impossible 2 and 3. Ethan and Julia never got married, a certain amount of information will be changed that will be revealed in the story. 

"You've been to Mumbai right?" 

You turned your head away from the sea and looked to see Ethan standing there, looking out as he leaned against the railing similarly as you did. 

You watched him, "you're talking to me now?" you asked, before looking back out to the water. You fiddled with the rings decorating your fingers, trying to keep a steady expression. 

Ethan looked at you before taking a breath. "I went to look for a new alternative." he began, "Hendricks needs a tactical satellite to use the codes..." he spoke quietly as he looked around, "the only one he'd get outside of russia, is one in Mumbai...and the only way to disable the satellite before Hendricks uses it, is through a certain multi media billionaire..." he said. 

You were quiet, considering his words. "so?" 

"I need someone who knows the city...knows how to get through to him." he looked at you. 

"You and I both know you can get that kind of information without my assistance." you spoke carefully. 

"Y/n."

You didnt turn to him, watching the waters. 

"Y/n look at me." he took your arm and turned you gently. 

You looked up at him as he stood close to you, his other hand cupping your other arm. Your skin lit up as he touched you, his thumb tracing the edge of the bandage on your arm. 

"I'm sorry." he whispered

You blinked at him, taken a back by his words. 

"You dont know how much things have changed.." he looked at you. "I just...need you to trust me." he said softly. 

You watched him, his expression grave. You bit your lip, watching his eyes follow your action, his gaze stuck on your mouth before you asked; "do you trust me?" 

Ethan watched you, not responding. 

You closed your eyes and pulled away, disappointed but not surprised. 

At least...you tried to pull away. 

Ethan held onto you, one hand going to cup your cheek as he made sure you looked at him. "I do..but right now it's not about trusting you.." he whispered hesitantly. "please."

"please what?" you looked up at him, meeting his soft gaze. 

You watched Ethan look over your face with an unreadable expression, his eyes half lidded as he leaned closer to you. You swallowed thickly as your eyes fluttered closed, feeling his breath touch your lips. 

Soon you felt his nose touch yours, before his lips planted themselves on your cheek. 

You were surprised at the action; again disappointed as butterflies fluttered in your stomach as his cheek rested next to yours. You felt childish to expect such things from Ethan at such a sensitive time; making you close your eyes and shove those expectations deep down. 

"We should go...you need to stop Hendricks.." you muttered, avoiding his gaze as you stepped back. 

This time, Ethan let you go from his grasp. He watched you carefully before you shoved your hands in your pockets and headed back to the location of the safehouse; mind too foggy to even care if Ethan followed back or not. 

----

You're on a plane to India. 

Assumed Asleep. But on a plane and vigilante enough to shoot someone who doesn't feel familiar. 

Ethan briefed the team on the plane not long after the jet took off. Benji and Brandt would enter the exhaust vent to the computer array, with Benji guiding Brandt using a metal plated suit. You, Ethan and Jane would infiltrate Brij Nath's party and get the codes from him using the most obvious weakness of a man; lust. 

You didnt really expect much from this mission. Your complaints weren't really going to get you anywhere other than seeming like a still childish agent; you stayed quiet and in your seat, fiddling with something or the other as Ethan did his thing and concocted a plan to save the world. 

Your expectations was to either run minor interference or stay as back up. You didnt believe Ethan would trust you enough to let you even do reconnaissance. You had no hope of Jane backing you up or advocating for you to be of more use. Her murder--accidental or not--of Moreau left her feeling uneasy and questioning her own instincts. 

You felt for her; you've been there.

Hell, you never even left. 

You went there and have been there for a while now. 

But then Ethan expressed that it would be yours or Jane's job to hook him in, depending on whom his eyes catch first. 

Yeah, solid plan. 

Very Ethan hunt. 

Your eyes were closed but anything other than sleep was on your mind. You gave yourself exercises to handle your thoughts and doubts; keeping the criticism at bay while also fighting off the questions of why Ethan asked you to trust him and how your feelings for him are coming into play and running interference. 

Faintly, a conversation with Ethan and Jane's hushed voices came through. 

"I dont see why y/n can't do this alone.." Jane said softly, hesitance evident in her voice.

Ethan was silent for a minute, "I trust you..you can do this." he reassured. 

"A week ago I would've believed you." 

There was a pause. 

"i..I dont blame you...for what happened." Ethan spoke softly, his tone gentle. An arrow of envy flew and pierced your heart, a juvenile question of why he's never spoken to you in that tone. "She hurt..and took someone you cared about--thats not just something you just...let go." He spoke, his voice tinged with familiarity and experience. 

The envy dissipated into empathy. You didnt know what happened after Julia's abduction. You didnt know if she made it out alive; if she made it out okay; if it was her decision to separate from Ethan or not. 

You only knew that Ethan and Julia were no more. 

There was another quiet moment, emotions palpable in the small space of the jet. You could feel Ethan's gaze in your direction. 

"Did it make you feel better?" Jane muttered, "When you killed the men who killed your lover?" 

Ethan's silence represented the shock and sorrow you felt at the news of this information. 

Here you were, wallowing in your self-hatred, self-pity and juvenile feelings while Ethan had to deal with prison and loosing the love of his life. You could've been there for him if you were any less self absorbed. 

"It wasn't just about her." he muttered. 

Jane followed his gaze to you, before looking back to him. 

"We can't change what happened...we can't fix it...no matter what we do.." He looked back to her. 

His words echoed in your mind, bouncing around until they settled themselves in your thoughts permanently. 

We can't change what happened.

We can't fix it.

No matter what we do.

[ireadyabooks]

Read with Pride Love Stories Perfect for Valentine’s Day! 💟🌈

Believe it or not, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner! It’s the perfect time of year to grab a romantic read and fantasize about your own Valentine. At I read YA, we believe everyone deserves to see themselves represented in all aspects of life so we’ve put together a list of some of our favorite queer romances for you to add to your shelf during this season of love! We hope you fall in love with these sweet reads just as much as we have!

Stars in Their Eyes by Jessica Walton & Aśka 

Maisie is on her way to Fancon! She's looking forward to meeting her idol, Kara Bufano, the action hero from her favorite TV show, who has a lower-leg amputation, just like Maisie. But when Maisie and her mom arrive at the convention center, she is stopped in her tracks by Ollie, a cute volunteer working the show. They are kind, charming, and geek out about nerd culture just as much as Maisie does. And as the day wears on, Maisie notices feelings for Ollie that she's never had before. Is this what it feels like to fall in love?

Start reading Stars in Their Eyes now! 

Love Letters for Joy by Melissa See

Less than a year away from graduation, seventeen-year-old Joy is too busy overachieving to be worried about relationships. She’s determined to be Caldwell Prep’s first disabled valedictorian. And she only has one person to beat, her academic rival Nathaniel.

But it’s senior year and everyone seems to be obsessed with pairing up. One of her best friends may be developing feelings for her and the other uses Caldwell’s anonymous love-letter writer to snag the girl of her dreams. Joy starts to wonder if she has missed out on a quintessential high school experience. She is asexual, but that’s no reason she can’t experience first love, right?

She writes to Caldwell Cupid to help her sort out these new feelings and, over time, finds herself falling for the mysterious voice behind the letters. But falling in love might mean risking what she wants most, especially when the letter-writer turns out to be the last person she would ever expect.

Start reading Love Letter for Joy now! 

Heartstopper  Volume 5 by Alice Oseman

Boy meets boy. Boys become friends. Boys fall in love. The bestselling LGBTQ+ graphic novel about life, love, and everything that happens in between: this is the fifth volume of the much-loved HEARTSTOPPER series, featuring gorgeous two-color artwork.

Nick and Charlie are in love. They’ve finally said those three little words, and Charlie has almost persuaded his mum to let him sleep over at Nick’s house. He wants to take their relationship to the next level... but can he find the confidence he needs? And with Nick going off to university next year, is everything about to change?

Start reading Heartstopper Volume 5 now!

What a Desi Girl Wants by Sabina Khan

Mehar hasn’t been back to India since she and her mother moved away when she was only four. But when her father announces his engagement to socialite Naz, Mehar reluctantly agrees to return for the wedding. While her father still doesn’t make the time for her, Mehar barely cares once she meets Sufiya, her grandmother’s assistant, and one of the most grounded, thoughtful, kind people she’s ever met! Meanwhile, Mehar’s dislike for Naz and her social media influencer daughter, Aleena, deepens. Mehar’s starting to think that putting a stop to this wedding might be the best thing for everyone involved.But what happens when telling her father the truth about Naz and Aleena means putting her relationship with Sufiya at risk . . .

Start reading What a Desi Girl Wants now!

Sixteen Souls by Rosie Talbot

Sixteen-year-old Charlie Frith has problems. His crush is dating someone else, his sisters have glitter-bombed his prosthesis (again), and he's a seer-of-spirits in York, the most haunted city in England, and all his friends are ghosts.

To make matters worse, it seems that famous spirits are mysteriously vanishing from York's haunted streets and alleys. Charlie is determined to stay out of it, but Sam, the irritating new seer in town, expects him to track down who -- or what -- is responsible and uncover the dark purpose behind these disappearances.

But when one of Charlie's ghostly friends vanishes, he has no choice but to face the shadows -- and his growing feelings for Sam. The boys must be willing to risk it all to save York’s spirits, because this adversary will stop at nothing to complete their devastating plan. Afterlives are at stake, and Charlie is running out of time . . . 

Start reading Sixteen Souls now!

The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver

Just days before spring break, Neil Kearney is set to fly across the country with his childhood friend (and current friend-with-benefits) Josh, to attend his brother's wedding—until Josh tells Neil that he's in love with him and Neil doesn't return the sentiment.

With Josh still attending the wedding, Neil needs to find a new date to bring along. And, almost against his will, roommate Wyatt is drafted.

At first, Wyatt (correctly) thinks Neil is acting like a jerk. But when they get to LA, Wyatt sees a little more of where it's coming from. Slowly, Neil and Wyatt begin to understand one another . . . and maybe, just maybe, fall in love for the first time . . .

Start reading The Feeling of Falling in Love now!

[heckcareoxytwit]

Get a closer look at ‘Marvel’s Voices: Avengers’ #1

Get your first look at new adventures starring Captain America, Iron Man, Photon, and Ghost Rider from December’s ‘MARVEL’S VOICES: AVENGERS’ #1.

Marvel Comics has released new details and preview art for the upcoming Marvel’s Voices: Avengers #1. Celebrating the 60th anniversary of the Avengers, the anthology will tell stories centered around the Avenger’s legacy and mission.

Here’s a preview of what’s in the one-shot:

Actor Utkarsh Ambudkar (Ghosts) and artist Tadam Gyadu (Spider-Man: India) come together for a poignant Iron Man tale that sees Tony use his own personal journey to help a struggling supervillain.

Two Marvel mainstays, writer Robbie Thompson (Silk) and artist Sid Kotian (Storm), team up to explore the American values that Captain America has always stood for as he has a thrilling showdown with his archenemy, Red Skull!

TV writer and podcast host Jason Concepcion and acclaimed comic book artist Moisés Hidalgo (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers) both make their joint Marvel Comics debut with the return of Robbie Reyes, Ghost Rider! Following his role in the Avengers Assemble crossover, Robbie must rev up the Hell Charger to battle a band of demons that are preying on his community.

Rising Marvel talents Justina Ireland (Star Wars: Sana Starros) and artist Karen Darboe (Bloodline: Daughter of Blade) bring readers to the stars where Monica Rambeau, AKA Photon, has to use her one-of-a-kind expertise and training to fend off a new cosmic threat.

And exclusive bonus material, including a special piece by Luciano Vecchio spotlighting members that represent the depth of the Avengers legacy that fans cans see today!

MARVEL’S VOICES: AVENGERS #1 hits stands in December.

[richincolor]

We have a ton of books on our calendar for July, so I thought it would be fun to highlight a few that caught my eye. Are any of these on your TBR list?

All the Yellow Suns by Malavika Kannan

A coming-of-age story about a queer Indian American girl exploring activism and identity through art, perfect for fans of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. Sixteen-year-old Maya Krishnan is fiercely protective of her friends, immigrant community, and single mother, but she knows better than to rock the boat in her conservative Florida suburb. Her classmate Juneau Zale is the polar opposite: she’s a wealthy white heartbreaker who won’t think twice before capsizing that boat. When Juneau invites Maya to join the Pugilists—a secret society of artists, vandals, and mischief-makers who fight for justice at their school—Maya descends into the world of change-making and resistance. Soon, she and Juneau forge a friendship that inspires Maya to confront the challenges in her own life. But as their relationship grows romantic, painful, and twisted, Maya begins to suspect that there’s a whole different person beneath Juneau’s painted-on facade. Now Maya must learn to speak her truth in this mysterious, mixed-up world—even if it results in heartbreak.

What a Desi Girl Wants Sabina Khan

The romance of Becky Albertalli meets the nuanced family dynamics of Darius the Great is Not Okay in this YA novel from acclaimed author Sabina Khan. Mehar hasn't been back to India since she and her mother moved away when she was only four. Hasn't visited her father, her grandmother, her family, or the home where she grew up. Why would she? Her father made it clear that she's not his priority when he chose not to come to the US with them. But when her father announces his engagement to socialite Naz, Mehar reluctantly agrees to return for the wedding. Maybe she and her father can heal their broken relationship. And after all, her father is Indian royalty, and his home is a palace--the wedding is going to be a once-in-a-lifetime affair. While her father still doesn't make the time for her, Mehar barely cares once she meets Sufiya, her grandmother's assistant, and one of the most grounded, thoughtful, kind people she's ever met! Though they come from totally different worlds, their friendship slowly starts to blossom into something more . . . Mehar thinks. Meanwhile, Mehar's dislike for Naz and her social media influencer daughter, Aleena, deepens. She can tell that the two of them are just using her father for his money. Mehar's starting to think that putting a stop to this wedding might be the best thing for everyone involved. But what happens when telling her father the truth about Naz and Aleena means putting her relationship with Sufiya at risk . . .

Firebird by Sunmi HarperCollins

Caroline Kim is feeling the weight of sophomore year. When she starts tutoring infamous senior Kimberly Park-Ocampo--a charismatic lesbian, friend to rich kids and punks alike--Caroline is flustered . . . but intrigued Their friendship kindles and before they know it, the two are sneaking out for late-night drives, bonding beneath the stars over music, dreams, and a shared desire of getting away from it all. A connection begins to smolder . . . but will feelings of guilt and the mounting pressure of life outside of these adventures extinguish their spark before it catches fire? -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

A Guide to the Dark by Meriam Metoui Henry Holt

You can check out of Room 9, but you can never leave. The Haunting of Hill House meets Nina LaCour in this paranormal mystery YA about the ghosts we carry with us. Something is building, simmering just out of reach. The room is watching. But Mira and Layla don't know this yet. When the two best friends are stranded on their spring break college tour road trip, they find themselves at the Wildwood Motel, located in the middle of nowhere, Indiana. Mira can't shake the feeling that there is something wrong and rotten about their room. Inside, she's haunted by nightmares of her dead brother. When she wakes up, he's still there. Layla doesn't see him. Or notice anything suspicious about Room 9. The place may be a little run down, but it has a certain charm she can’t wait to capture on camera. If Layla is being honest, she’s too preoccupied with confusing feelings for Mira to see much else. But when they learn eight people died in that same room, they realize there must be a connection between the deaths and the unexplainable things that keep happening inside it. They just have to find the connection before Mira becomes the ninth.

Rana Joon and the One and Only Now by Shideh Etaat

This lyrical coming-of-age novel for fans of Darius the Great Is Not Okay and On the Come Up, set in southern California in 1996, follows a teen who wants to honor her deceased friend’s legacy by entering a rap contest. Perfect Iranian girls are straight A students, always polite, and grow up to marry respectable Iranian boys. But it’s the San Fernando Valley in 1996, and Rana Joon is far from perfect—she smokes weed and loves Tupac, and she has a secret: she likes girls. As if that weren’t enough, her best friend, Louie—the one who knew her secret and encouraged her to live in the moment—died almost a year ago, and she’s still having trouble processing her grief. To honor him, Rana enters the rap battle he dreamed of competing in, even though she’s terrified of public speaking. But the clock is ticking. With the battle getting closer every day, she can’t decide whether to use one of Louie’s pieces or her own poetry, her family is coming apart, and she might even be falling in love. To get herself to the stage and fulfill her promise before her senior year ends, Rana will have to learn to speak her truth and live in the one and only now.

[hezuart]

Why did you switch from animation to reviews? Also, do you still plan on doing CGI like you mentioned multiple times?

oH BOY..... you may need to sit down for this one

So it all started back in 2012. I was around 14 years old and just saw Rise of the Guardians and Wreck it Ralph. The stories, the characters, the world-building, the animation... now I never really went to movie theaters as a kid, but as a teen I started going and I instantly fell in love.

I went to community college for a few years and made some amazing friends. Loved some of my teachers and we participated in fun events like the 24-hour challenge and Campus Movie Fest. I had gotten in the top picks for Campus Movie Fest at some point and was supposed to go to the Cannes Film Festival in France to showcase my short film, but then the pandemic hit and it got canceled indefinitely.

So get this, for community college, I got a certification in 3D Animation and Video Game development. It's basically an AA degree but without general ed. (Why do you need general ed to get a degree in something? Math and PE have nothing to do with Animation. College is ridiculous. People have to pay you more simply because you were forced to spend more money in college. Wild.) Out of the 20 classes I had taken to get this certification, only 3 of those courses were hands-on 3D animation. And only one of those courses was hands-on video game development and I dropped out of that class because it was PC only and I only had a Mac at the time. I applied to the class without realizing it was accommodating only to PCs. So even my certification is barely reaching the basics for the title of it, but I did take another online course or two for 3D animation which I have a different certification for.

Now even with my 3D animation, I was never taught the physics engine. I was never taught hair or cloth simulation, but I do have modeling, rigging, animating, and texturing experience. For gaming, I have very little experience. I've only modeled things and found my way around Unity, but otherwise, I suck at coding. I hate coding with a passion. Making a video game without coding isn't really possible.

Now, when the pandemic hit, a lot of things were shutting down. I had no idea where I wanted to go next. People kept asking me where I was going for my higher education, but I kept getting warned not to waste money on college if you're trying to become an artist, especially at University. It's a money pit, and competition is so high, you're not guaranteed a job, you're just gonna be in debt. Even colleges like Cal Arts, who charge over $1K per class, I've been told are a "Pay to get in" kind of place. Where the money is used to nab professionals from their work to teach students or talk about their company or programs, and through that, you get a bigger chance to get your foot in the door because you know someone. I've unfortunately been told that's the more realistic way to get into animation: networking. If you're a shy introvert who doesn't know any famous people, you need to be extremely talented and unique to stand out to get the chance of being noticed. I don't really want to suck up to people nor do I want to waste thousands of dollars and 5 more years on college that I may not even need (let alone be able to afford) especially if there are online classes that may be even more valuable.

Now after I got out of college and started applying a few places, I discovered a LOT of unfortunate information.

Most animation these days is done overseas. South Korea, India, Japan, and Canada are the big ones.

Invader Zim, Steven Universe, Miraculous Ladybug, The Simpsons, OK KO, Star vs the Forces of Evil, Kipo and the Age of the Wonder Beasts, Adventure Time, Twelve Forever, and the Powerpuff Girls Reboot were animated in South Korea. The Ghost and Molly Mcgee is animated in Canada.

(The first four seasons of the Simpsons were animated in America until it switched to South Korea and India.)

2D traditional animation is no longer viable. Puppetry is the industry standard because it's the cheapest. Luckily, Toon Boom Harmony has allowed us to push the boundaries of 2D puppetry. Puppetry these days, if done well, can look really great, like Tangled the Series, but if you don't have Toon Boom Harmony, you're probably not gonna be hired.

Not even all 3D is made in the USA. If it's Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar, then it's usually USA. But streaming service movies, like Sea Beast, Kid Cosmic, The Willoughbys, and Klaus, while they claim to be a "Netflix Original" that "Netflix Animation" animated, that's a lie. Klaus was animated by Yowza! Animation in Canada. The Willoughbys: Bron Animation, Canada. Kid Cosmic: Mercury Filmworks, Canada. Sea Beast: Sony Pictures Image Works, Canada. (X)

Go Go Cory Carson is written and storyboarded in America, but the animation is shipped out to be done in France. Sonic Boom is also French Animated.

Even Sony Pictures? Open Season, Surf's Up, Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, SMurfs, Hotel Transylvania, Over the Moon, The Angry Birds Movie, Sea Beast? Sony Pictures Imageworks is based in Canada. They're doing all the animation for them. It's not animated in America, it's merely funded by them.

I should also clarify: I only want to participate in stylized animated media. I don't want to do CGI for hyper-realistic films, which eliminates most of the animation jobs out there these days. It's just not my thing. The insane amount of details and uncanny valley are just so unappealing, I can't do it.

The closest animation studios are still far away. Most companies are located in LA. I'm over 7+ hours away from there. LA also has a high poverty rate, terrible air quality, is overcrowded, and is just generally not a good place to live, especially if you're low middle class. You're not gonna survive there.

Pixar is located in Emeryville, a few minutes north of San Fransisco city. Emeryville is the most crime-ridden city in that area. They tell you not to walk home alone at night. You're more likely to get robbed there than anywhere else according to the population ratio there. There are a lot of gangs that hide up there, and there's a lot of poverty there, even outside of San Fransisco. It's basically a trash pit. Not an ideal place to live, and commuting through 3-hour SF city traffic is also not gonna work. (X)

I have also been informed some people who work at Pixar are petty that the interns use their facility. Pixar has a heated pool, soccer field, gymnasium, and a few other nice things on their property. I was informed there was a person or two who got mad that an intern was using their basketball court.... when the intern was on break. As though they weren't part of Pixar, as though they had no right to touch the property. Apparently, they also used to make the interns push around little tea carts to serve refreshments as a way to "talk to the fellow animators" to probably get them interacting, but hearing that the interns were basically chored with butler duty to bother the animators hard at work seems like such a forced thing. That makes me uncomfortable. Of course, the person who told me these stories has been working with Pixar for over a decade or two now, so things could be very different as the years went on. Pixar itself on the inside of the animator building is gorgeous. They all decorate their office spaces in crazy ways, it looks like a movie set. But they have a bar and "whiskey club". They're apparently allowed to drink at work and have often had parties that got a little out of hand. There's also an old chain smoker room where the founders used to play poker and spy on people outside of their room with hidden cameras; I've even been inside. I don't think they use it anymore, though I'm not totally sure. Some of this info was fascinating, but the drinking made me uncomfortable. I kinda want to work with sober people here.

The sex ratio in the animation industry is also interesting and unfavorable. 70% of the animation and art school ratio is women, but only 34% of the actual animation workforce is women. 34% female to 66% male. More women study animation than men, but more men get hired and hold positions than women. Animation, ironically, has always been a male-dominated workplace. This unfortunately contributes to the "you have to know someone" or "be rich" to get-in situation. Men know a lot more men and not as many women. So the 30 to 40-year-old guys hire the other guys they know rather than a young poor girl with a passion. This makes it even more difficult for me to get in. (X)

20th Century, Netflix Animation, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Bento Box, Vanguard Animation, Universal Studios, Titmouse, 6 Point Harness, ShadowMachine- all LA / South California.

There are a few places I could apply to, but what they do, I just don't care for. Niantic(Pokemon Go), Lucasfilm(Effects), Whiteboard Animation(Marketing), Sharpeyeanimation (Marketing), EA games (Mass Effect, Battlefield, Dragon Age 2, all those hyper-realistic war, sports, or fantasy games.)

So whether it's outside of the USA or within the USA, I need to move. I don't have the money for that yet.

Just find a company that does remote work, right? It should be easy, especially in pandemic times! Wrong. Most animation companies don't permit remote work. It's probably a security issue. But I've done research on this. The only big animation company I've found (so far) that allows remote work (or is HIRING for remote work) is Mainframe Studios in Canada. They have a 3D animation job list, and I guess they focus on animating Barbie movies(???). (X) But that's about it. And even if you're a remote worker, there's a high likely hood you still need a Visa to be allowed to work for a company belonging to another country. So that's a whole other legal process to deal with.

Disney is becoming a huge corporate monopoly over American animation. They bought Blue Sky only to kill them off. (Disney also just recently laid off 7,000 people due to their stock price drop and failed movies they released the past year with deliberately bad marketing for political reasons. (X) Disney also bought Pixar and is pushing for sequels because weird or bad, sequels and terrible live actions make them a LOT of money. Did you know Disney's terrible Lion King CGI remake is amongst the top 10 highest-grossing movies ever made? It's criminal. (X)

Because Disney is such a big name in the USA, there's a huge association of animation = children's media, which is not true. Animation at the Oscars also has its own category, when it's not a genre, is a medium. Disney often wins at the Oscars too because no one sees the other animations. Granted, Disney has an insane marketing budget in comparison, but it's clear no one cares to seek out animation outside of heavy CGI live-action these days. No small-time studios, no limited releases, no anime. The fact that Disney also now OWNS the Oscars is SUS as hell. (The fact that Disney-owned ABC threatened the Oscars, forcing them to cut 8 categories or else there wouldn't be a show that year is wild. There isn't even an oscar for stuntmen. What the fuck, Hollywood?) (X)

Dreamworks nearly went bankrupt and sold itself to Comcast back in 2013. Comcast also owns Illumination. Dreamworks has been focusing on making bad tv show adaptions of their IPs. So yes people, Jack would sooner meet the Minions than meet Elsa. Disney is the biggest corporate monopoly, but it's definitely not the only one. The animation industry in America is snuffing out its competition by buying it out for itself. It's insane the kind of power they have.

Competition is HIGH. Because of this, the only ways to get in? If you're rich or you know someone. Pixar gets over 3,000 intern applications every summer. Less than 100 are seen by actual hiring managers. The most interns Pixar has ever taken in a single year were 12. The least they ever took in a single year was two. A 12 to 3,000 ratio is not favorable. That's a 3% chance to get into a big-shot animation company.

And again, because remote work isn't permissible to new hires, you need to live in the area to commute to the campuses. This is one of the reasons why LA is so crowded.

If you get into an animation company purely remote and maybe even for a different country? You are the luckiest person alive.

Programs are expensive. The animation industry is very strict on what programs they use. The industry standard for 2D puppetry is Toon Boom Harmony; the industry standard for 3D animation is Maya, and the industry standard for video game development isn't as clear but Unity is one of them.

Some of these programs are free, as long as you are a student. If you are attending college or a certain online program, you can use your school-issued email through them to apply to get the program for free for about a year. Otherwise, if you're using it to make your own animations solo?

Autodesk Maya: $225 a month or $1,785 a year (X)

and guess what? Maya removed its free render service. Arnold is now built in by default, however, if you want to BATCH render (Meaning render a full scene or several slides) it will slap it's ugly watermark over it.

Fun fact, this very rendered watermark can be seen accidentally in a single frame for the Kingdom Hearts Frozen cutscene

Well, you need to batch render if you're trying to animate so let's see what Arnold costs- $50 monthly to $380 annually.... are you kidding me?! The rendering PLUG-IN BUNDLED TO MAYA COSTS MORE TO USE THAN THE OWN PROGRAM?! (X)

Now, there are other rendering plug-ins you can probably use with Maya. But they all have their ups and downs and their own costs as well. (X) Pixar's Renderman is $595 per license. I can't seem to get info on Octane. V-ray solo is $39 monthly while premium is around $60 monthly.

Now there IS Blender, an alternative to Maya. It is free and I have it. That is ideal to work in for people like me. I tried it a while back, but I hated the interface windows. It was hard to work on it when you can't close them properly. It's possible they've fixed this in an update, but I haven't touched the program in over three years so I wouldn't know. It's different from Maya a little, so it has ups and downs in comparison too. But Blender is a savior to 3D artists everywhere.

Toon Boom Harmony isn't as bad but still high: Lowest price is $27 monthly / $220 annual and the highest is $124 monthly / $1,100 annual (X)

Unity has a basic version that is free, but Unity Plus is $399 yearly while Unity Pro is $2,040 (X)

So some programs are clearly more viable than others. But imagine you're trying to model, texture, rig, animate, simulate, and render a short film all by yourself in Maya. That's gonna take you over a year or two, and you'll have several thousand dollars out of your pocket by the time your free trial ends. And might I say, for an industry-standard program, Maya sucks. It's almost unusable without those plug-ins for not only rendering but also for the models to even be able to SELECT their BONE rigs.

Do you want to practice on your own when school is out of session? Fuck you! Fuck subscription services! Welcome to capitalist hell, baby!

Again, using Blender is more viable, but you're still going to be basically doing everything yourself. That's gonna take years. Do you have the patience for that? Do I?

Because of the pandemic, movies aren't even hitting theaters anymore. They're going straight to streaming services. Streaming services of which, gain sole rights to and can take media off their platforms at any time without warning. Thanks, Discovery+ ! Does everyone remember the HBO Max Animation & DC purge? It could happen to other streaming services too. Piracy will save the future of animation at this point. (X)

And again, Streaming services like Netflix will purchase films and claim they made them by slapping their logo over it; but no, they either bought the distribution rights or produced them through funding and maybe storyboarding. Often times from a Canadian film studio. (Link again X)

Even stop motion companies like LAIKA are losing money and may have to shut down or be bought out in the future, especially considering how much work and money they put into their films vs. how much money they actually make. (X)

All of this? Naturally made me fall into a depression. My god, the layers of hopelessness. My animation and modeling is pretty average too. I'm decent. I can maybe make a good shot. But I can't blow people away like James Baxter can. I mean, I shouldn't compare myself to people. If I worked really hard, maybe I could get into a good company. But again, I have to move! A part of me gave up. I don't really do 3D animation anymore, though part of me misses it.

I still 2D animate. I'm trying to make a short film and though my college friends who were working on it with me have given up, I have done my best to keep going. Even if it has been produced at a snail's pace for the past three years, I still intend to finish this animation. It's gonna be beautiful when it comes out, and it will be a wonderful portfolio piece regardless.

So with nothing else to do and no other kind of job experience really under my belt(plus my family is prone to covid so getting a job in the pandemic was just kind of out of the question) I decided to go to youtube. I heard some people can make a little money on there, but the truth is I had actually wanted to become a youtuber for a few years prior. I've always looked up to animators and reviewers on youtube, I've loved the stories they tell and their incredibly detailed analysis essays on movies, tv series, books, etc. I wanted to be one of them. I wasn't sure exactly what I'd do, so I just followed the Youtube Partnership program set up which took a few months, and then jumped in! I found I only had the time to upload once every month or two. I had a ton of audio issues and I'm not outputting at the proper 1920 x 1080 quality that I should be doing either. It's a huge learning process that I still haven't perfected, but I'm taking notes to try and get better.

Even though Youtube is fun, I only make $300 a month, and that isn't even consistent. With patreon, I make maybe another $80 or $100 on top of that, so overall $400 a month average. That's really nice and pretty cool! But it's not enough to survive.

Now I work part-time at a coffee shop. My mental health is a lot better and I love my coworkers. I make roughly $400 a week in comparison to the $400 a month. It's still not enough to live off of (the cheapest rent around is over $1,000 a month, not ) and it's still a temporary job in the long run. I intend to work here for maybe another two years to save up money.

But what do I do now?

Am I welcome in animation spaces anymore?

As a critic of popular media, it could be likely that they could fire me or deny my application because of my critique of their past films or tv series. They could see my youtube persona and assume I'm a raging untrustworthy nitpick instead of a passionate, kind person.

Vivziepop's Spindlehorse company? What Viv was doing was a dream. I was so inspired by her. She made her own company, made a super successful pilot, and was even creating more jobs for traditional, high-quality animation. However, for Hazbin Hotel, she required more funding, which is why she sold it off to A24, who now has corporate say in the show. A24 is known for letting creators be more lenient, but otherwise, Viv won't have full control over it anymore unless she managed to get them to sign something over to her; but with the rumors of her being kicked off season 1? I don't know anymore.

Her own company Spindlehorse; they rely on youtube revenue and/or merch sales to fund Helluva Boss. That's a tricky business practice, but it's kept them afloat so far.

However, Spindlehorse is hiring a lot of people as of late. This could be a bad sign; that people might be leaving the company due to potential mistreatment or unhappiness. With the way the show is going, I don't really want to be part of that company regardless, but maybe before season 2 of Helluva Boss, I would have considered applying. Had I made any critique videos prior, there's no way they'd accept me. "Aren't you that one YouTuber that said my writing is bad for season 2 episode 2?" And you expect me to hire you?" Like yeah, that application process would go down well. Not. By critiquing artists' work, some of them are very sensitive. I'd be kicked out for a lot of things, when really, we artists should be critiquing each other all the time, trying to improve. That's how the writer's room always is, ahaha... hours of fighting goes down in those meetings. It's intense, but fun.

But yeah, it's such a shame. Even small companies need to sell out to corporate to survive. Either that or be HEAVILY crowd-funded, which again, can be a slippery slope.

I see a ton of small projects on Twitter looking to hire people, or looking to become a big studio to release a pilot or game. I've joined a few of them, but most are unpaid because of COURSE they are, and then these projects?? Just don't go anywhere. Because it's unpaid. Because we can't afford to work on a project for free. IRL comes first. Some of these projects seem so great but they don't go anywhere, and it's hard to have faith in start-up studios anymore. (Game creators might have a chance, but tv series or films? Good luck, folks.)

At that point, should I just make my own company? I don't have the money or knowledge for such a thing! It's insanely expensive to start a business and get licensing. So much paperwork, so much everything! And the USA Government is so behind in understanding technology. If you want to create a remote business and/or copyright something, you're still required to put an advertisement in a local newspaper about it, even if your business isn't selling to locals. 💀 The number of fees and ridiculous legal hoops you need to jump through... it's a ridiculous waste of time and money. But you need to do it. The question is, am I willing to do it? Am I willing to tackle such an insane thing by myself?

I want to keep my internet persona and IRL persona separate, but can I? I value having a private, quieter life away from the screen. I worry about getting doxxed one day because of the nature of the internet. I worry about people finding my IRL resumes or profiles for work I want to do outside of youtube for security's sake. My art style is unique and very recognizable. I don't have a lot of private art that is worthy of being in a portfolio. But for absolute safety, I'd need to password-protect my websites or portfolios so the public doesn't have free access to them; only companies I'm applying to. But at that point, does password-protecting my resume and portfolio make it less likely I'd be hired due to the inconvenience? Due to the private, hard-to-find nature of my work? Being a YouTuber with great story skills and art skills with a fanbase could be a big plus to getting hired somewhere, but it could also be a horrible disadvantage that would get me fired. It's a double-edged sword that I cannot work around and I don't know what to do.

I've considered the video game industry, but even that isn't ideal. A lot of the indie ones I adore aren't made in the USA. Gris and Monster Camp were made in Spain. Ori and the Blind Forest: Austria. Hollow Knight: Australia. Little Nightmares and Raft: Sweden. LIMBO & INSIDE: Denmark. Outlast, Don't Starve, Spirit Farer, Bendy and the Ink Machine: Canada.

SuperGiant Games did Hades, Transistor and Bastion and is located in SF, but they're not hiring. Janimation, a multi-media company located in Texas isn't hiring. Frederator in New York isn't hiring.

I don't want to work for a studio that does nothing but first-person shooters or sports games. If I want to get into the gaming industry, I probably need to crowdfund and make a company to make a game myself.

If I make my own game, which I've wanted to do for a long time now and still want to... I can't code. I guess I could try to hire someone that could? But a game to the extent I want... I'd need to start small. I'd need to practice. It's several years of work. Will it even be worth it? I don't think I can do it alone. I'd need crowdfunding and workers; which again, here comes the "make my own studio" issue...

Do I even want to animate anymore? I prefer traditional animation in comparison to puppetry. I prefer 2D animation to 3D animation simply because it is more accessible. But even then, I'm finding myself drawn more and more to writing, storyboarding, and character design. If I were a 3D animator, this is mostly what I'd be working with all day: Naked models in an empty room. I'd do none of the physics simulation or texturing or lighting.

Animating naked & bald people all day... I don't know... 3D Animation kind of lost its appeal. You only work on such a small portion of a film, you almost never have the bigger picture. You won't see the final result until the film is done. As an animator, you're almost kept in the dark. Maybe that's how they want it anyway, since leaks are a huge issue they keep quiet under strict NDA.

But yeah, anyway... I'm an artistic digital generalist. I can do almost anything. 3D animation, storyboarding, writing, photo editing, illustration, rendering, modeling and so much more. It's hard to choose what you really want to be in this industry. I feel like Barry Benson dfklgjdflkjg

I don't know what I'm gonna do anymore. There's gotta be a solution to this but I just can't figure it out. I don't want to give up my youtube channel so I can be an animator. I don't want to give up a safer, quiet countryside house to be able to survive financially. Am I even willing or able to move countries? Is my career more important than friends and family?

I think I'm thinking too much about everything. I should start small. Move less than an hour away first and move in with roommates to get a feel for independence instead of jumping into it immediately. Get a job at a small time company, maybe not for what I want at first, but it'll get me some experience and maybe I'll learn some things along the way to understand where I can go next. Take it slow and don't panic too much over trying to be a young big shot. Take things one day at a time? That's my current goal, I suppose.

So you know... to answer your question... why did I switch to youtube for a current career? Because of a classic existential & career crisis in my 20s. Will I ever go back to 3D animation? Maybe. Maybe one day.

[silverquillsideas]

15 people, 15 questions

thanks for tagging me @solana-ceae !! <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

my name does have a sanskrit origin but nope, not after anyone :)

2. When was the last time you cried?

last week of december, I don't remember why ;-;

3. Do you have kids?

no.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

confession, I am one of the least sporty person on the planet, but I love doing a bit of swimming, and go for cycling on the regular! and a bit of yoga sometimes. that's about it 😭

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I normally don't, but when someone pisses me off, my inner sarcasm gremlin jumps out lol

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

whether they make eye contact and what sort of eye contact it is- idk?? it's like, I can get a pretty decent read on people that way. and also, their smiles? :)

7. What’s your eye color?

black/ technically dark brown lmao

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings pls ;-; I don't like horror or ghost stories ;-;

9. Any talents?

I pick up new skills pretty easily, I like more hands-on, crafty things! I like to try out new stuff :)

10. Where were you born?

india

11. What are your hobbies?

uhh... I draw, write, occasionally cook/ bake pretty decently? :D

12. Do you have any pets?

i used to have a cat as a kid, but not currently

13. How tall are you?

uh... 157 cm ish? lmao I haven't measured my height in forever T-T

14. Favorite subject in school?

physics!!! my one true love <3 in another world, I'd have gone for a career in that field :)

15. Dream job?

anything that allows me a decent time to unwind and relax. but actually I love my current work too, it's a stressful field, but the satisfaction is plenty :)

tags: @snowyshadow @ley-med @theflowergirl @abstractelysium @nuwildcat @sunshinesanctuary @watchingblsnowandforever @benkaaoi @littleragondin @distant-snow @khathastrophe

(only if you wish to ofc!! do tag me if you participate!!)