#your friend palpatine
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imagine if pre-teen anakin actually had friends his age and those would be like 'friends w your master? fine, but the chancellor????' and the rise of the empire gets fucked by some kids judging the fact that he counted old-man-and-politician as a friend
#anakin skywalker#star wars#jedi#i know my hs friends wouldnt let it slide if i was friends w some random old man WORSE if it was a politician#imagine aayla going ani your other only friend is old and not cool#and the chancellor never heard of anakin again#palpatine#dark side#jedi temple#fix it#i just want like 5 other padawans w bad disguise attending the wedding#some pantoran and a rodian fighting for the co pilot seat#anakin calls them all serious just to shout KID ACQUIRED and introduces ahsoka#give the kid some friends fr
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I know a lot of the SW comics aren't canon, Dark Empire especially since Boba's alive in a different way + many more details, but Kylo's backstory makes a lot more sense with this particular set of comics.
One thing I feel like the sequels didn't get right was that it didn't show enough about the corruption of Ben Solo. About why Leia and Luke sensed something awful within young Ben. You can't tell me Luke would look at a 6 year old boy and see him as irredeemable when Vader was in his perspective.
With comic context, it makes more sense. Here's the exchange between Leia and Palpatine when he tries to claim her as an apprentice due to her more upfront and occasionally aggressive way of handling things:
(Side note: The line about him being able to enter one of his clones additionally justifies Snoke's existence.)
With this context, it makes sense that Ben's family would sense something very wrong with him. Palpatine is an irredeemable evil, simply corrupt because he eroded himself until there was nothing left but that evil. Luke, in a moment of fear, was going to end Ben Solo's life to stop the growing evil that was within him. Another thing it explains is why he always heard Palpatine's voice in his head. It was Ben's mind, but he was not alone. Palpatine tormented another Skywalker boy until he had him running into his arms once more, this time using Snoke.
These comics were released in 1991. In fact, while researching this, I found out that this comic was potentially an inspiration for the sequels, which makes this even more disappointing. These comics were great. They set up a great potential, but they run into the issue of execution.
The sequels had great ideas and characters to explore, but expecting the audience to simply know where your story is coming from is a bit dumb. This is the meat they should have shown in TFA, not throwing us into the halfway point of a story where everyone's favorite characters are plucked off one by one.
Yet I still very much enjoy the flavor that this adds to the life of young Ben Solo, who never had a damn chance from the moment he was conceived. For the love of god, someone get this wretched old man away from this poor family.
#Im pro sequels btw if it wasnt obvious we're just divorced#kylo ren#ben solo#star wars#emperor palpatine#leia organa#star wars comics#star wars sequals#star wars sequel trilogy#star wars analysis#ky rambles#not kylux#If somehow you read this far even into my tags thank you#and ben solo sweetheart ik you arent real#but im proud of you for somehow overcoming all of this bullshit and finding any way to have light in you#thats your family's resilience at work#*cough* and this is also why vaderkin would 100% stand by kylo instead of hating him#thanks for coming to my ted talk#and if i can make an honest opinion clear i think the biggest mistake they made was taking the focus off of the skywalkers#it was there but felt more like a b plot compared to rey and her friends#who i didnt give a shit about and still dont give a shit about
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He spread his hands as though offering a hug. “Share with me the truth. Your absolute truth. Let yourself out, Anakin.”
“I--” Anakin shook his head. How many times had he dreamed of not having to pretend to be the perfect Jedi? But what else could he be? “I wouldn’t even know how to begin.”
“It’s quite simple, in the end: tell me what you want.”
Anakin squinted up at him. “I don’t understand.”
“Of course you don’t.” The last of the sunset haloed his ice-white hair and threw his face into shadow. “You’ve been trained to never think about that. The Jedi never ask what you want. They simply tell you what you’re supposed to want. They never give you a choice at all. That’s why they take their students--their victims--at an age so young that choice is meaningless. By the time a Padawan is old enough to choose, he has been so indoctrinated--so brainwashed--that he is incapable of even considering the question. But you’re different, Anakin. You had a real life, outside the Jedi Temple. You can break through the fog of lies the Jedi have pumped into your brain. I ask you again: what do you want?”
“I still don’t understand.”
“I am offering you . . . anything,” Palpatine said. “Ask, and it is yours. A glass of water? Yours. A bag full of Corusca gems? Yours. Look out the window behind me, Anakin. Pick something, and it’s yours.” [. . .]
“You can’t just--”
“Yes, I can. It’s yours. [. . .]”
Anakin gazed blankly out into the gathering darkness. Star began to shimmer through the haze of twilight. A constellation he recognized hung above the spires of the Jedi Temple.
“All right,” Anakin said softly. “Corellia. I’ll take Corellia.” “The planet, or the whole system?”
Anakin stared.
“Anakin?”
“I just--” He shook his head blankly. “I can’t figure out if you’re kidding, or completely insane.”
“I am neither, Anakin. I am trying to impress upon you a fundamental truth of our relationship. A fundamental truth of yourself.
The concept left his dizzy, What if, what if I went along with Padmé and her friends? what if I want the war to end?
Tomorrow would be too soon?
How can you do that?
Right now, we are discussing what, How is a different issue; we will come to that presently.
Anakin sank into his chair, if only his head would stop spinning, why did Palpatine had to start all of this now? This would be easier to understand if the nightmare of Padme didn´t keep screaming in his head?
And in exchange? he asked, what do I have to do?
You have to do what you want.
What I want?
You have dreamed of leaving the Jedi Order, having a family of your own, one that´s based on love, not on enforced rules of self denial
I can´t... I can´t just... leave...
But you can
Anakin sat frozen. Even thought was impossible.
You can have every one of your dreams. Turn aside from the lies of the Jedi, and follow the truth of yourself. Leave them. Join me on the path of true power. Be my friend, Anakin. Be my student. My apprentice. [. . .] I know what you truly want,” the shadow said. “I have only been waiting for you to admit it to yourself.” A hand--a human hand, warm with compassion, settled onto his shoulder. “Listen to me: I can help you save her. [. . .] Darth Plagueis was my Master. He taught me the key to his power,” the shadow said, dryly matter-of-fact, “before I killed him.”
Without understanding how he had moved, without even intending to move, without any transition of realization or dawning understanding, Anakin found himself on his feet. A blue bar of sizzling energy terminated a centimeter from Palpatine’s chin, its glow casting red-edged shadows up his face and across the ceiling.
Only gradually did Anakin come to understand that this was his lightsaber, and that it was in his hand.
“You,” he said. Suddenly he was neither dizzy nor tired.
Suddenly everything made sense.
“It’s you. It’s been you all along!”
In the clean blue light of his blade he stared into the face of a man whose features were as familiar to him as his own, but now seemed as alien as an extragalactic comet--because now he finally understood that those familiar features were only a mask.
He had never seen this man’s true face.
“I should kill you,” he said. “I will kill you!”
Palpatine gave him that wise, kindly-uncle smile Anakin had been seeing since the age of nine. “For what?”
“You’re a Sith Lord!”
“I am,” he said simply. “I am also your friend.”
The blue bar of energy wavered, just a bit. [. . .]
“When I die,” Palpatine said with the air of a main reminding a child of something he ought to already know, “my knowledge dies with me.”
The sizzling blade trembled.
“Unless, that is, I have the opportunity to teach it . . . to my apprentice.”
His vision swam.
“I . . .” A whisper of naked pain, and despair. “I don’t know what to do . . .”
Palpatine gazed upon him, loving and gentle as he had ever been, though only a whisker shy of a lightsaber’s terminal curve.
And what if this face was not a mask? What if the true face of the Sith was exactly what he saw before him: a man who had cared for him, had helped him, had been his loyal friend when he’d thought he had no other?
What then?
“Anakin,” Palpatine said kindly, “let’s talk.”
Revenge of the Sith - Matthew Stover
Pages 278 through 283. Palpatine’s offer
#anakin skywalker#sheev palpatine#chancellor palpatine#star wars#revenge of the sith#quote#Anakin really needed a Han Solo style of friend#First to tell him not to go for Corellia if somebody offers to give you anything you want#you go for Coruscant XD#Second if a politician makes unusual offerings#after confesing they were secretly a Sith lord who has been getting close to you since you#were 9#saying they just want to be your friend in the darkness of his office you say NO and run bro
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me: where are my snackies
emperor palpatine who lives in my kitchen: it seem, in your anger….you ated them
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KIT DID I HEAR YOU SAY THE FIREFIGHTER SHOW <rises up out of the woodwork where she usually lurks due to social anxiety>
had to do some creative work that wasn’t writing (it was watercolor lol) so I put it on to have something sort of serial to watch!
got most all of the way through season one today though and may I say these Hulu episode summaries are wild: it’ll say “surprise marriage proposal on Valentine’s Day ends with dangerous consequences period end of summary” and then that storyline is wrapped up within the first 5 minutes and there’s still 40 minutes left to go and you’re flying blind !!!!
#asks#I enjoy it so far!#didn’t expect the hostage situation after the Valentine’s Day start#summary could have helped but live and learn#911 fox#it’s like if I were writing a fic and the summary was like ‘character a struggles to be one with the force and help her friends :) it’s ok’#and then five paragraphs in the next sentence is ‘but somehow Palpatine returned’#you’d have a few questions about managing your expectations
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Yes Chancellor, Pilot Script
"Chancellor, you've been asked to give your opinion on the Rimworld People's Liberation Front."
"Are they the terrorists we hate or the freedom fighters we're supporting?"
"The former, sir. The latter are the Rimworld Peoples' Liberation Front."
"... Senator, which one is it? The terrorists or the freedom fighters?"
"Well, the Rimworld People's Liberation Front are officially recognised as terrorists by the Senate, but the Rimworld Peoples' Liberation Front are-"
"Hang on, you just said the same name twice!"
"Ah, yes, I see the confusion. The Rimworld People apostrophe s Liberation Front are not at all similar to the Rimworld Peoples apostrophe Liberation Front."
"... How so?"
"Well, we're against the former and supporting the latter for starters."
"I... see."
"Now, these are their flags."
*presents two identical flags*
"Senator, these are identical."
"Nonsense, Chancellor, these are-oh, my apologies. I had the Rimworld Peoples' Liberation Front one the wrong way around."
*flips one of the flags - they remain identical*
"There, is that clearer, sir?"
"As the Swamps in Naboo, Senator."
"And there is of course the matter of the Rimworld Peoples Liberation Front to consider as well."
"... Where's the apostrophe for that one?"
"Oh, it doesn't have one, sir."
"And... what do they want?"
"Well, sir, we're not actually sure yet. It's really rather muddled things for us."
"Yes, what a shame. And it was so straightforward without them."
#penkind rambles#i had this really dumb idea for a Yes Minister parody but it's your friend Chancellor Palpatine#like he hits his head or like just before he enacts the Plan or w/e#and he's just stuck in a workplace comedy trying to get shit done#i'm not going anywhere with it but if anyone wants to take it or w/e go ahead#make a comic make a video#i have too many things on my plate as is but if nobody does i'd love to make it into a miniseries of like videos one day
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[ID: Two similar white middle-aged men with receding white hair, one is the Star Wars character Palpatine and the other is Colin Mochri. Hashtag is: "its your friend palpatine & your pal friendpatine" /ID]. Apparently the joke is originally from Rifftrax.
Reblogging because it comes across my mind at random moments
Palpatine looks like an evil Colin Mochrie
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Beings Suffering From Extreme Sleep Deprivation Should Not Attempt Turning To The Dark Side
There he was. Anakin Skywalker, the prize jewel of the Sith... even if he did not know it yet. Sitting in the office of his friend, the Supreme Chancellor.
All the pieces were now in place, and the only thing left to do was to reveal his identity to Skywalker and let him break down. The satisfaction that permeated the form of Sheev Palpatine was so great that he nearly forgot that his parents had named him Sheev.
But not for long. Distaste prickled up his spine. Still, they were entering the glorious morning of a Sith Empire that would never see night. Or, rather more accurately, the night would be neverending. And the metaphors would be better - he would hire (and by hire, he meant enslave) the greatest poets to compose endless lamentations for the suffering he was about to unleash.
Skywalker sat in the chair, looking listless. The nightmares Palpatine had sent had done their job well - it seemed like he had hardly slept. His thoughts were sluggish, his resistance gone, and his terror absolute. Terror for his "secret" wife, who he feared would die in childbirth.
And while the "visions" were far from genuine, oh, Palpatine intended to make sure that Padmé Amidala would.
With the death of his wife, Palpatine's control over Anakin Skywalker would be perfect. And, in ten or twenty years, thirty even, the boy would become his new vessel. After all, the plans of the Sith were measured in the millenia, and Sheev Palpatine had no intention of planting trees in whose shade younger generations might sit. No. He intended to sit there himself, chasing off the whippersnappers so they might get sunburnt. (He really needed to consult a poet.)
But the creation of his Empire was a far more immediate goal, and a very worthy stepping stone indeed. And since all it would take was a push, he had better get to administering said push.
"Dear boy, I don't think I've ever seen you look quite this... disturbed," he intoned, perfectly miming the tones of a concerned grandfather. "Not - and I am terribly sorry to bring this up, but I can't help but be concerned - not even... not even when your mother died."
There. Skywalker was an easy instrument to play. A veil of concern, a dash of "you can tell me anything." A hint of his past trauma, which so neatly (almost as if by design) connected to his current fear. Even calling attention to Skywalker's sorry state served to remind him that the structures he could depend on were now shaky and unsure, ravaged by war.
Palpatine briefly entertained himself by wondering what the boy might think of the sheer amount of planning that had been put into his fall.
"Mom?" Skywalker asked, voice groggy and wide eyes betraying his shock.
And said nothing more, just gaped at Palpatine, as if he were about to pull Shmi Skywalker out from under his robes. Idiot boy.
"I'm terribly sorry for shocking you, Anakin," Palpatine said, suffusing the room with his phony concern. "I know it must be horrible to think about, especially in these... present circumstances."
Well, he'd thrown subtlety out the viewport, but that would certainly get the job done.
Skywalker did not respond. He was blearily gazing into middle distance. And Palpatine was running out of time - Skywalker needed to fall now, before Kenobi could return from Utapau and somehow pull him back from the brink, again.
So, subtlety? Subtlety would die the same death it always died in Skywalker's presence: a sudden one.
"Actually, I've called you here on an important matter," he said, injecting some urgency into his tone - no longer a grandfather, but a concerned statesman. "I now have every reason to believe that Senator Amidala and the Delegation of Two Thousand are planning a coup."
"Huh?" Skywalker said, attempting to sit up. "Padmé's planning..."
And then his train of thought appeared to slip away again, and he resumed his vacant staring.
"Yes." Palpatine gritted out. "Padmé Amidala, your wife, is planning a coup."
"Oh. Yeah, she's good at politics," Anakin mumbled, offering Palpatine a tired smile. "I'm sure she'll do a good job."
"A coup against me." When nothing more than a "hmm" was forthcoming, Palpatine continued. "And it appears she has allied with the Jedi Council."
Skywalker suddenly stood up, ramrod straight. Finally, Palpatine thought.
"What?"
"I'm sorry you have to find out this way-"
"No, no, this is great! She's finally hanging out with my work friends! Now she'll know what it feels like!" Skywalker shook his head. "Like, it's only fair, right? I've sat through a ton of formal dinners and stuff. And Bail is okay, I guess, and Mon, and Fang Zhar is kinda funny, but... they're so boring. Treaty this, agreement that, 'what do you think, Master Jedi?'"
Skywalker started pacing. "Yeah, but who's laughing now, Padmé? I hope she tries to take them out for lunch. Then she'll get to see twelve Jedi Masters meditating to discern which restaurant the Force is pulling them towards."
He turned to Palpatine, as if to explain. "And that takes hours. You wanted lunch? Sorry, it's dinnertime and also tomorrow, and the spot they picked, which, by the way, is always the one Yoda wants,-" and, to the Sith Lord's horror, he launched into an imitation, "'mmm, great darkness I sense within the Jundland Buffet, perhaps to Stewcruiser, we should instead go', but when we finally decide to go to Stewcruiser, it's closed on Taungsday, and the whole thing starts all over again!"
And at that, Skywalker sat down with a huff.
"Indeed," Palpatine said, no longer able to keep the coldness out of his voice. "The inefficiencies of the Jedi are... vexing."
"Tell me about it," Skywalker mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.
"But rather more pressingly, they are planning a coup." Palpatine said, rather icily.
"Yeah, right," the boy said, looking a bit shamefaced. "Sorry."
"It is no matter," Palpatine replied, still eyeing the Jedi. Skywalker made no move. "What do you think about the coup?"
"Oh, yeah, uh. Like I said, I'm sure she'll do a great job. Sorry, I don't really... pay attention to politics."
Palpatine opened his mouth. And then closed it again. "A coup is a bad thing, Anakin."
"Uh-huh," Skywalker said, clearly paying no attention, and that was just about the limit of Palpatine's patience. He hadn't set the entire galaxy ablaze to be uh-huhed by the boy.
It was time to go for the throat.
"Anakin, I'm going to kill your wife." He said, enunciating every word as clearly as he could. He needed to provoke the boy into fear and anger, which would feed his guilt and shame, which would lead him to the Dark Si-
"Oh, okay. Good luck."
"What?!" He hissed. "I just threatened to kill your wife!"
"Yeah, but..." Skywalker scratched at the back of his neck. "I mean, she's been in like, twenty battles. She can handle herself."
"She is eight months pregnant!"
Skywalker actually shrugged. "The med droid said she can keep doing her usual activities for as long as she feels able. And no offence, but you're kind of... old."
"Old? I am the Lord of the Sith, young fool! I possess powers your feeble mind can't even comprehend!"
Something had gone blank in Skywalker's eyes, but Palpatine was far too angry to notice. "I orchestrated this entire war! All of this is my doing! I planned for your mother to die, I corrupted the Tuskens myself, I was behind Kenobi faking his death, beh-"
And that's about as far as he got, because a sky blue blade had just passed between the spot his head occupied and the spot that was occupied by his body, and had kindly suggested to the two that it was time to part ways.
"Chancellor, Sith Lords are a specialty at the Jundland Buffet," Anakin muttered, turning off his saber. He tried to hook it back on his belt, but apparently somebody had taken his usual hook, and the handle fell to the ground. Sighing, he called it up with the Force and shoved it into his boot for safekeeping, when a thought struck him. "No, that's not right. How did Obi-Wan say it..."
And then he commed Obi-Wan, because that seemed like the thing to do. After a long wait, a small, blue Obi-Wan appeared, looking harried. Before Anakin could compliment him on his new size and color, Obi-Wan was already talking way too fast, something about killing Grievous.
"Hey, Obi-Wan, uh. I killed the Sith, but I-"
"What?" Obi-Wan's voice had a lot of static in it. He should really get that checked out. "Sorry, Anakin, did you say you killed the Sith Lord?"
"Yeah, anyways, back when we were fighting Dooku, you said something about Sith Lords and a specialty, and, uh, is it a specialty dish somewhere? And can we go there next time the Council has lunch? I'm getting really sick of Stewcruiser."
"Anakin. When was the last time you slept?"
"Oh, uh, two weeks ago or something."
There was a heavy, staticy sigh from the other end of the comlink. "Alright, Anakin. Turn the comlink around and show me the Sith, and then I'll guide you through cleaning up the pieces of the duelling droid you dismantled this time, and - oh Force, is that the Chancellor?!"
"Uh-huh," Anakin nodded, forgetting that he wasn't in view of the receiver.
"Don't uh-huh me, Anakin! Did you kill the Supreme Chancellor?"
"Yeah, he was the Sith?" There weren't any more words coming through the comlink, so Anakin figured it was safe to continue. "He said that he orchestrated the whole war and he was the Sith. Also, for some reason, he moved out here to the desert, and that's weird, because I don't think it's gonna agree with his complexion."
There was more silence from the comlink. Anakin remembered to turn it so he was again visible to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan appeared to be frozen.
"Are you... disappointed?" Anakin asked, after a while.
"No more than the usual amount," Obi-Wan sighed. "Go take a nap."
"Oh, good," Anakin smiled. And then frowned. "Wait, what do you mean, 'the usual amount?'"
#sheev has a bad day#star wars#star wars fic#star wars crack#sheev palpatine#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#revenge of the sith
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He's the Calm One
“Give yourself to the dark side,” Vader advised, as he stalked through the darkened areas of the throne room. “It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for…”
He paused.
“Your sister,” he said, interested. “So, you have a twin sister. If you will not turn to the Dark Side, then perhaps she will!”
“No!” Luke shouted, springing out of cover, lightsaber held ready.
Vader moved his own blade in a block, then stopped a moment later as he realized Luke wasn’t actually attacking.
“You mustn’t make her turn to the Dark Side,” Luke said, voice laced with urgency.
“I must not?” Vader asked. “That is not up to me-”
“No, father, that’s not what I mean,” Luke replied. “It’s a matter of safety. Personal and… galactic.”
Vader’s expression did not change, because he was wearing a helmet.
“You realize that I have no idea what you are talking about,” he said. “Who is your sister?”
Luke paused.
“Leia,” he said. “You should know that, father. Maybe now you’ll understand.”
Vader’s helmet tilted slightly.
“What?” he asked. “I never felt a thing. Her emotions never betrayed her.”
“She didn’t know,” Luke pointed out. “I didn’t know until you told me.”
“Still…” Vader mused. “The Force can be strange… but you seem insistent on keeping your sister from the Dark Side.”
“You’ve met her, haven’t you?” Luke asked.
Vader paused, giving that due consideration.
“...I suppose she would probably be suited to the Dark Side,” he said. “She would make a good apprentice.”
“You’re not listening,” Luke complained. “She would be a terrible person to have as an apprentice in the Dark Side of the Force, specifically.”
Vader attempted to glare at Luke. “You fail to understand the value of passion to the Dark Side.”
“Why have you stopped fighting?” Palpatine demanded, from the other side of the throne room.
“We are having a moment,” Vader called back. “I am attempting to turn Luke to the Dark Side by using his family members against him.”
“Very well!” Palpatine said. “Continue! That usually works.”
Vader inclined his head, slightly, the only sign of what was probably a frown under his helmet.
“I may need to think about that,” he said, under his hissing breath, then returned his attention to Luke.
Who was gesturing for emphasis.
“Maybe I’m not getting this across properly, Father,” he said. “But perhaps… you sent Han to Jabba the Hutt, didn’t you? You knew him?”
“I do not know Jabba the Hutt, son,” Vader retorted, his voice dark with rage. “I know who Jabba the Hutt is. But I fail to see the relevance.”
“As part of the plan to rescue Han, she got captured,” Luke explained. “Jabba chained her up and made her a dancing girl. The moment I began to fight during the rescue, she cut the lights and strangled him with that very chain.”
He stared into the eyes of Vader’s helmet, unblinking and unbowed. “Do you understand, Father?”
Vader considered that, then nodded, very slightly.
“I begin to see your point,” he said. “Damn.”
“If Leia turned to the Dark Side and was made an apprentice to you or the Emperor, it would be extremely bad for the health of everyone inside this room,” Luke summarized. “And also for the galaxy, more generally, though it would at least be run efficiently.”
“The Emperor has brought order to the galaxy,” Vader said, in a sort of distant voice like he wasn’t fully paying attention to the conversation.
“Have you seen how much he’s spent on pointless superweapons that get blown up by the Rebellion?” Luke shot back.
Vader held up his free hand, and for a moment Luke wondered if his father was about to use the Force… only for it to mean nothing more than a request that Luke be silent for a moment.
“...humour me, son,” Vader said. “What, exactly, is your plan here?”
“With surrendering myself to you?” Luke asked, and got a slight nod. “I hoped to be able to convince you that you’d done something wrong, and that you could realize that there was still good in you. That you were not trapped in the Dark Side, and could – if you truly wished it – return to the side of good.”
He paused. “...I will say, Obi-Wan and Yoda both told me it was impossible.”
“They do that,” Vader said, still sounding distracted. “And my daughter was raised by Bail and Breha, and she ended up… hm.”
“...Father?” Luke asked, after several seconds of silence had elapsed.
“I am just realizing that you are, apparently, Padme’s child of the two of you,” Vader said. “She killed Jabba the Hutt? Really?”
“Really,” Luke agreed. “Since you send Han to Jabba, we came up with a plan.”
He twirled his lightsaber. “First, I gave Jabba the droids C-3P0 and R2-D2, after concealing my lightsaber in R2. Then Leia turned in Chewbacca for the bounty, while disguised as an Ubese, and threatened to set off a bomb. Finally I came in to ask politely for Han’s release, offered Jabba one last opportunity to free us while about to be thrown into the Pit of Carkoon, and when he refused I killed… about half of Jabba’s entourage. Leia got Jabba and the other half when she rigged his sail barge to explode.”
“...this is a new feeling,” Vader said, almost to himself. “This must be paternal pride. Damn.”
“Have you turned him yet?” the Emperor called, waspishly.
“I’m working on it!” Luke called back.
Vader missed a breath, then his respirator worked overtime to recover.
“I still want to turn my daughter to the Dark Side,” he said, once he’d recovered. “But mostly to find out what would happen.”
“Fair,” Luke admitted. “I’m curious as well, but I don’t want to be in the blast radius and I’m fairly sure the entire galaxy would be the blast radius. Even if we were both trained Jedi I’d insist on being the one who came along, because I’d rather see you alive instead of a sort of faint ozone sheen in the air.”
“What is taking you so long, Vader?” Palpatine demanded, stalking over. “By this point, someone in this room should be dead. This delay is entirely tiresome!”
“All right,” Anakin replied, and pushed Palpatine off the bridge.
“...do you think that counts as dark side or not?” he added, glancing at his son. “I’m genuinely not sure, he was a very old man…”
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LOUD.
a Jedi Shadow!Obi-Wan AU
Introspection fucking sucks, according to Commander Fox.
The thing about him is, he’s been made out to be a bastard and ever since their batch found their calling or whatever he’s embraced that role.
Every batch needed someone who didn’t secretly want to be cuddled, who pushed others away so he could keep track of the big picture.
Cody had competed for the role for a while. As did Wolffe.
For Cody, his heart, big and fragile once you got to know him, got in the way in the end. He sees the whole picture, craves it so he won’t go crazy from the losses. But he believes in people and their goodness.
Fox doesn’t.
Wolffe made the mistake of getting the galaxy’s best General. General Koon shits rainbows and glitter, from what Fox has been forced to listen to.
Fox has… the Chancellor.
He takes a swig of water and wishes it were something stronger. But Quin is on the other side of Fox’s desk, reading glasses ever so slowly slipping down his nose while he’s crunching and tracking the numbers to prove the Chancellor is, indeed, siphoning credits off the Republic to giftwrap them for the Seppies.
He takes another swig.
Wouldn’t surprise him if Palpatine turned out to be the villain of the whole story.
Brought Fox to drink with the kind attitude, the cruelty so expertly hidden from first glance, cushioned in false promises and support.
Hadn’t been pretty. But it had been easy. You go to the right places, people are only too willing to shell out for some drinks. Entertainment and morbid curiosity what brings a clone to their knees.
Some found the lisp he has because of the scar that ransacks through his lips and tongue endearing but most hadn’t bothered with wanting him talking.
Some wanted to inspect the changes in the Corrie armor up close and cozy.
If shit hadn’t already multiplied, Organa came flouncing into the Guard offices every two weeks with a new design like they were his little dress-up dolls.
The last design, the one that stayed, had a dummy connector installed in the backplate.
Fox hadn’t mentioned it. Had stewed over how the Guard, already isolated from the rest of the GAR, wasn’t even considered for the neural network that would make them more efficient, more deadly if activated. Treated like scum on a pedestal, overlooked and taken for granted.
Fox takes every advantage he can squeeze from that.
Every batch needs a willing loner who’s got the big picture in his head at all times and doesn’t care for the minutiae.
Fox had been comfortable in that role, really. He saw Thorn and Stone and Thire and the rest of them making friends and lovers and heartbreak, and that was the last fucking thing Fox wanted.
And then came Vos. Appearing from the shadows like a designer nightmare.
For such a short time they’ve sure gone through a lot together.
To the point Vos became Quinlan became Quin became Vos again became someone Fox clung to while fighting fucking addiction and the realization that he is stupid enough to become addicted.
No matter what Quin had said, Fox was supposed to be the pinnacle of cloning and artificially creating the perfect soldier. Addiction is a weakness and fault.
Fox almost did something extremely stupid over that one.
Turns out it’s all part of the sentient experience.
Fucking sucks.
Quin had laughed at that, ugly and bruised laughter, continuing to comb his fingers over Fox’s head. “Tell me about it.”
An eloquent way to say Quin was going through withdrawal himself.
They got outside help after that.
“Hey, Depa,” Quin murmurs absently after answering his comm, pushes his glasses up.
“Quinlan, is your line still secure?”
“‘Course. Especially after Fox got his grubby little hands all over it.”
Fox shows him the middle finger of one of his grubby little hands.
“Good,” General Billaba clips out. Quin straightens up, and maybe Fox’s attention isn’t misplaced here. “Good. Commander Cody was activated by the Sith Lord and he’s bringing Obi-Wan to Coruscant.”
Activated.
Quin is silent. Blinks up at the ceiling. “Can you run that by me again?”
“Quinlan, we have reason to be believe the Chancellor is the Sith Lord.”
Hah. Fox got that one right on his bingo card, at least.
Cody got activated.
As they’ve learned, the neural network - battlefield mediation, in fancy Kamino speak - is activated by a designated Force using GAR personnel. Surprisingly, the status is even an optional display on the screens of every trooper’s vambrace. Or not so surprisingly.
Cody got activated by the Chancellor. Who is the Sith Lord the Order has been hunting.
Fox will deal with that later or never, whatever comes first.
He’s comming the Guard all across the planet, checking the weapons on his person, while General Billaba explains the situation. He appreciates her succinct manner, he’s gotta say.
“I’m on the way to detain Anakin. Mace is following the ship Commander Cody captured but we need someone to intercept them on Coruscant before he reaches Palpatine.” She halts for a brief moment. “Obi-Wan seems to believe the Commander has betrayed him when he knows about the neural link inside the clones. We are fearing the Darkness is deliberately attacking and clouding his senses.”
“I’m on my way,” Quin nods, adds with a calculating glance at Fox, “I’m not sure I have back-up.”
“Funny thing about the Alderaan design of the guard armor,” Fox comments, checking the plasma charge on his DC, and vows to give Senator fucking Organa a sliced fruit platter, “the Guard doesn’t have the connector to the neural link.”
He comms their resident medic next and orders every gundark-level tranquilizer delivered to him.
Cody got activated and is following the orders of a Sith Lord.
Stars help them.
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I love Anakin as a character but I think Star Wars as a whole needs to be less forgiving of him and his actions and I think Rex is the perfect character to explore this idea.
Rex wants to save his brothers more than anything and we know that he fails and never recovers from the trauma. It was an impossible task but he fought so hard for it. The clones don’t become a thriving community after the Empire falls. Few live to remember their sacrifice or that they were even there to begin with. They’re wiped off the map and that’s it and Rex just has the live with it.
Imagine realistically how you would feel if you were him and you learned that a huge reason why the Empire was even allowed to rise in the first place is because of the man who you trusted, who was one of your closest friends for three years, who convinced you that he thought of you as a person unlike the rest of the galaxy. I wouldn’t ever be able to look past it, and I don’t think Rex would or should either.
Obi Wan considers Anakin metaphorically dead because it’s the only way to cope with the grief.
Ahsoka has a more complicated view of him because of the distance leaving the Jedi order put between them.
Luke is able to forgive him in the only way that is narratively compelling, because he sees him as his father and not as the monster everyone else does.
Leia never forgives him (nor should she) but grows to understand him more over time.
Padme uses her dying breath to vouch for him even if he doesn’t deserve it.
If Rex didn’t forgive Anakin, it would offer yet another perspective. He is someone who loved Anakin, but Anakin is a huge reason why his brothers are dead. Anakin is the one who used his brothers as the tools they had always been told they were to march on the Jedi temple and murder the Jedi, the only allies the Clones ever truly had. Everything that happens during the reign of the Empire, including whatever goes down in the Bad Batch finale, is part of a huge domino effect because of Anakin’s choices. It would be tragic to see their friendship end this way, but Rex’s entire life is rife with tragedy. Ahsoka is the only positive result of his friendship with Anakin left. They only have each other.
I want Rex to be angry at him. Anakin’s actions are abhorrent and to downplay them only does Anakin a disservice as a character and denies his agency. Yes, he’s a victim of Palpatine’s grooming. He is also the perpetrator of a literal reign of terror and there are few groups of people who are bigger victims of the Empire he helped create than the clones.
#star wars#captain rex#anakin skywalker#clone wars#star wars prequels#the bad batch#anakin critical#the clones
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Something that the book makes so much more obvious than the movie is Anakin's mental/physical state throughout the story. Like yes, he's scared out of his mind of losing Padme, but also he's never sure when he last ate or drank (and then it's Palpatine offering him water, naturally) and is so freaking sleep-deprived a human would be having hallucinations. I've had quite a bit of experience with insomnia/nightmares and I speak from experience when I say that brushing your teeth becomes a herculean task when you've been up since 3 a.m. and it's 7 p.m. Your friend asking if you can lend them a pencil feels like an egregious imposition. The world is out to get you. Everything sucks. Food starts to all taste the same. You ache but nothing actually hurts, you want to cry because your shirt is blue, the urge to smash all the plates in the cupboard is overwhelming. There is a REASON sleep deprivation is the first step in torture and brainwashing. Add to this the mistrust of the people who raised him, the threat of his wife's death, and all the pressures of war...geez, Anakin never stood a chance against Palpatine.
#star wars#anakin skywalker#revenge of the sith#revenge of the sith by matthew stover#lokita rants#anakin defense
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The war doesn’t end with a bang, strictly speaking. It doesn’t even end with a political forum, or peace talks, or a slow, wheezing death of the Banking Clan’s pockets running dry, even though all of those are valid possibilities. Some more than others, Cody has to admit.
No, the war ends with an article in the Galaxy’s least reputable news source, Coruscant Rotational. Splashed on the front page for all to see is Cody’s little brother, next to the Chancellor.
CLONE MEWS CHANCELLOR TO DEATH IN MOGGING MOVE FOR THE AGES - LOOKSMAXXING TAKEN TOO FAR?
“What”, says Obi-Wan, eye twitching, fingers massaging over the bridge of his nose at double their usual speed, a real sign of an impending nervous breakdown if Cody’s ever seen one, “the kriff does that even mean?!”
Rex shrugs helplessly with one shoulder, other arm raised aimlessly. “No idea, General. I only understand about half those words. Maybe we’re all having a collective stroke? Maybe Fox is having a stroke? Whatever he’s doing with his jaw in that picture can’t be healthy.”
“Well, not for the late Chancellor, anyways”, says Cody flatly, in the long-suffering tone of one who’s seen too much Jedi banthashit in too little time. He screws his eyes tightly shut, scrubbing the backs of his knuckles in hard enough to see galaxies explode. Nope, still the same words on that datapad.
“It can’t be true”, says Skywalker, who’d gone white as a shitty military-issue sheet and has been steadily pacing the room ever since the equivalent of a sonic bomb hit the room. “I mean - think about it, this could just as well be a Separatist ploy, it would play right into their hands, and Coruscant Rotational isn’t exactly the most reputable source -“
“True enough”, says Obi-Wan, thoughtfully. “They do like getting their facts mixed up. In fact, I’ve seen about six articles just this month proclaiming our dear friend Senator Amidala’s super secret pregnancy. They even falsified hospital records, can you imagine?!”
Somehow, Skywalker loses another shade of colour, gulping soundlessly, and resumes his pacing more frenetically than before. Weird guy, that.
It’s Rex who breaks the awkward stillness of the room, perking up suddenly. “Oh, I know! Why don’t we call in Commander Tano?! She’s about the right age to understand some of this dribble, right?”
“I was going to suggest calling Corrie HQ, but sure, let’s ask the teenage soldier from the space monk order who spends all her spare time hunting your legion for sport”, says Cody, dryly. Rex deflates, and Thorn’s tinny voice sounds through Cody’s comm before he can make his reply. “Marshall Commander, I assume this is about the News.” Ominous capitalisation, ooooh, mouths Rex, and receives the nearest datapad Cody can reach to the face for his troubles with a squawk. The fact that he can read that sentence off his lips means their legions have spent far too much time together, and also that Cody’s grown soft in his old age.
“Good to hear you too, Thorn, and yes, we do have some questions concerning why the kriff my vod’ika is accused of murdering the chancellor through what I can only assume is some secret Sith magic?!”
“Oh, you mean when he defeated the actual Sith on the Senate through the power of his superior mog and made the kriffer explode in a thousand wrinkly pieces? You’re welcome, by the way”, says Thorn, instead of literally anything sane.
“Commander”, begs Cody’s General, with something glistening that might actually be tears in his eyes. “Commander, please. I do not understand any of those words. I am begging you to put me out of my misery.”
PALPATINE??? SITH?????!!!, screams Skywalker in battlesign, somehow spelling out each individual question and exclamation mark.
“It’s a game we’ve started playing in the Guard, sir, to pass time on patrol”, says Thorn, sheepishly, cowed by nearly driving the High General Kenobi to tears. “We’d do stupid faces we found the holonet, and, uh - well Fox is so high on black-market morphine most of the time cause we don’t get bacta that he sleepwalks on assignment sometimes, and, uh, he started making them at the Chancellor during a holocall meeting with Count Dooku and then the Chancellor tried to electrocute him again but accidentally blew himself up-“
“Breathe, Commander”, says Obi-Wan, and then - “That is SO much information I don’t know what to do with, Force preserve me. Why is Commander Fox on black-market morphine, or sleepwalking, or making faces at-“
“He signs reports in his sleep too, sometimes”, Thorn interrupts the General. “It’s actually kind of impressive if, y’know, it didn’t make Stabby bust another capillary in pure rage.”
“Who’s Stabby?”, asks Obi-Wan, confused.
“Meeting with Count Dooku?!”, bursts out Skywalker.
“Congratulations on Amidala’s pregnancy, General Skywalker”, says Thorn, like a man who wants to see the world burn.
#sw tcw crack#this does not warrant the name of fic idea#i am running on day something of continuous shifts and all around anxiety#that is all i have to say in defense#i saw a post online and the rest is history#i would apologize but we all know i’ll do it again but stupider#commander fox#my brain is fumes fox and fuckery#thorn is running on like six stims and leftover coffee grounds mans is stressed okay#you’d be too if fox fucked off to jedi jail for mewing the chancellor to death and left you in charge#he actually ate the leftover coffee grounds out of the machine#and traumatized several shinies plus thire#ahsoka busts a rib laughing when she finds out#the 501st doesn’t stop mewing for a month#the 212th pretends to be better in front of cody#they are not#fox is cleared of all charges on account of he’s not sentient the chancellor exploded himself and he didn’t actually murder him via jawline
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@ilovescarletwitch hi! This post was for you! Because actually none of what you just said is true, which you might know if you spent some actual time with conservatives instead of dismissing us as some two dimensional caricature you made up in your head.
I know this might sound a little silly coming from a blog that is entirely political but I really need you all to understand that politics is not all there is to life. If you refuse to associate with anyone who doesn't vote like you, you are doing yourself a disservice. I get it if you don't want to talk politics with them but there's no reason you can't talk sports or trade recipes or discuss a novel you just read. We're never going to solve our political problems if we can't see the other side as human first.
#the best part is that you and i are two people who could probably be friends#if we met under circumstances where you didnt immediately dismiss me for my politics#so if you want to start over id love to talk star wars with you#because your take on palpatine a few days ago? solid! and i have thoughts to add!#and if your friend and her wife are into star wars then theyre welcome too
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Anidala rant
Alright I really don't understand people saying that Anakin didn't actually love Padmé, he was just obsessive and then used her as an excuse to get more power.
First off, love in general is just a tad bit obsessive okay? I'm a bit obsessed with my husband, I love him, he's amazing. You have to be a little obsessive to have the courage to bear your heart and soul to someone who you are absolutely NOT supposed to be with. Also, can we talk about the fact that after Padmé "rejected" him he totally backed down? I mean he still loved her, but he wasn't going to push it anymore until she admitted that she loved him too.
Also…ANAKIN LITERALLY SACRIFICES HIS SOUL because he can't bear the thought of living without her. If it isn't clear enough in the movies (it is crystal clear) then the Revenge of the Sith novelization makes it even more so. He is genuinely horrified when he discovers that his friend, the Chancellor has been a Sith Lord this whole time, and multiple times he wishes Obi-wan was there with him because Anakin is so confused and has no idea what to do. And the ONLY reason he goes back to "save" Palpatine is because he can't let Palpatine die without learning how to save Padmé.
EVEN WHEN MACE IS FIGHTING PALPATINE Anakin wants Palpatine to BE ARRESTED. The only time Anakin moves against Mace Windu is when Mace is about to kill Palpatine, who has convinced Anakin that he is the only one who has the knowledge to save Padmé.
His turning to the Dark Side has nothing to do with power, and solely to do with wanting to save his wife from certain death. Dude was literally about to leave the Jedi Order, and he honestly didn't care anymore about being granted the rank of Master. The only reason he NEEDED the rank so badly is because he wanted to look up stuff in the Jedi archives ways he could possibly save Padmé, but only Jedi Masters were able to access some of these files. Add in the fact that his nightmares had made it impossible for him to sleep for literal days (weeks?) before the battle in the Chancellor's office.
Even when he's choking her on Mustafar, it's not because he never loved her, it's because he is in so much pain. All he sees is that the woman he loves most in the world, the woman he has sacrificed everything for and destroyed his soul for, WANTS HIM DEAD. Which of course isn't true, but why else would she have brought Obi-wan with her? He chokes her because every one of her words is a dagger, he feels betrayed and he can't listen to it anymore or he'll shatter. –This is not an excuse for any kind of abuse, but you have to understand the emotional turmoil he is going through. This is also not an argument that what he did was RIGHT in any way after turning to the Dark Side, but you do have to see how his actions (to him, at least) make perfect sense and that NONE of his actions hint at the fact that he either didn't love her or stopped loving her. He loved her even as Vader, he loved her forever.
Anyway, sorry, I've been reading the ROTS novelization and I'm almost done with it and I'm sad and emotional.
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Use this one trick to instantly fix all childhood trauma (Jedi Masters don’t want you to know this)!!!!!
That is what every “if Obi-Wan had just— *adds one extra scene to canon* —then Anakin would’ve had perfect mental health and never listened to Palpatine at all,” sounds like to me. Look I am not an expert on any kind of psychology at all let alone early childhood development but,
It is possible to do your very best to help or raise someone and still have bad or imperfect outcomes, especially when you have someone actively, secretly working against you (cough cough Sith Lord of the month cough), (for many reasons, but in this case particularly), because unravelling the mindset built in early childhood is hard, actually.
Coming at this from the “raised in a safe and loving environment” side of things, it took me years to figure out and internalize that my friends whose parents weren’t as great as mine were functioning in an entirely different landscape when it came to their interactions with adults.
Many years ago when I was in middle school a friend (acquaintance? idk I think most people thought I was annoying) told me that her ankle kept giving out and causing her pain. I asked if she'd told her parents so she could rest or go to the doctor. She told me she had, but her mother either hadn't listened or refused to help. My (approximate) responses?
"So it's not actually that bad then?"
"You should tell her again."
"Are you sure you explained it right?"
The only explanation I could comprehend at the time was that there must have been some unclear communication about the situation or its severity--if her mother had understood she was in pain, she couldn't possibly have just not done anything about it? Adults are responsible, caring, etcetera! They wouldn't do that?!
With more experience, I've come to understand better, and learned to respond in kinder, more helpful ways, but the shift in mindset was not and is not intuitive.
And I had the luxury of figuring all that out whilst being safe myself. Coming from the other direction, being in danger and trying to figure out why other people act like the world is safe? I can't say for sure, but I imagine it’s a lot more complicated.
Point with regard to Star Wars being, it really is harder for Anakin, coming in later, to acclimate to the Jedi ways and thought processes than it is for his peers who grew up in the safe environment of the Temple. And whatever arguments people want to have about how much psychology and therapy exist in the Star Wars universe, or how much “Jedi just do cognitive behavioral therapy” (not totally inaccurate, but reductive on several levels), no matter what the answers to those questions, it will still be harder for Anakin.
There is a reason the council changes its mind on training him only after he is suddenly famous and the Sith are proven to be back. When Anakin was not in significant danger of being snatched up by someone else, it was genuinely probably the easier and safer option—for him and everyone else—for him to live a different life.
The Jedi are not necessarily fully prepared for a child with Anakin's history, and, there is nothing bad about living an ordinary life. Anakin would not have been somehow unforgivably robbed by living life as a mechanic or an engineer or something, rather than being a Jedi.
Anakin is a victim of many things in his life—Sidious, Watto, Gardulla, Tatooine’s everything, his own conscious choices—but he is not a victim of malice, incompetence, or idiocy by the Jedi just because they couldn't—in only a decade or so—help him fully and perfectly unravel the mindset he developed in his early childhood. If there was any lack of qualification on their part, it was one they were aware of—but which was outweighed by the danger of little Anakin getting kidnapped out of normal-kid elementary school.
Being brought up in and around slavery absolutely made him more vulnerable to Sidous and became the basis of their dynamic as master and apprentice. Acting like the trauma that affects his mindset and actions for his entire life can be obliterated just by making minimal changes to the plot is wild to me.
And don’t get me wrong, fics and headcanons can do whatever they want, not everyone wants or is trying to write a deep psychological character study (also fanfic and even fiction in general cannot and should not be held to any standard of realism if it's not serving the story and the author)—simple fix-it’s (my love) are fun and an excellent short-cut to other things like happiness and fluff (my other loves)—but don’t act serious about the idea that adding one conversation about his feelings or one extra explanation about Jedi philosophy would automatically lead to Anakin having perfect mental health outcomes and always making good decisions.
Disclaimer (if the ones throughout weren't enough) : please go forth and do whatever you want. the moral of this post is actually just that (1) you won’t convince me, (2) I wanted to talk about this, (3) the clickbait title was too funny not to post, (4) i literally can't open my mouth without phrasing things like i'm in the middle of a heated debate, and (5) i continue to not be an expert in early childhood development—my evidence is very literally anecdotal
#star wars#anakin skywalker#mental health#click bait#jedi#obi wan kenobi#will continue to be annoyed about this on be half of both Anakin *and* the Jedi since they are alas not real to do it themselves#(actually annoyed about the concept being applied in real life but shhh this is a star wars blog)#P.S. anyone want to hear the rant about how I think this all works for Anakin in conjunction with Amavikka in the Double Agent Vader story?#cuz i can go on and on and--#*gets abducted for plagerism by whoever actually writes clickbait titles*
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