#your finnish lesson of the day

[squwhims]

Hit the one year duolingo streak! Attatched to Duo like my family owes him money, but they can't afford to pay him off, so they SOLD me to him. It has been a year with Duo, and I have stockholm syndrom. I love this bird and his ways even though he has emailed threats to everyone I love. He would never do that to me. I am a good girl.

[sysiheart]

THE MOST TRAUMATIC FINNISH SONG EVER

Sorry to talk about christmas but I randomly remembered something and had to talk about it

Ok so Finnish people are sad sad melancholic people (somehow we still keep getting voted as the happiest people and that makes me wonder wtf is up with rest of the countries are u guys ok) and nothing really shows that like out christmas songs.

Now there are SO MANY to talk about (dead children ect) but im going to talk about my (least) favorite: Hei mummo (hey grandma)

This song.

This FUCKING SONG

Some parts translated (poorly):

Day in the north is lonely

The barren land was deserted long ago

Trail to the cottage is sloppy and icy

And grandma lives there alone

Husband died and children left to the world

Now the lonely cottage is surrounded by night

During the day time it is just dark

Only during summer car arrives to the yard

Week goes by and grandmother is left alone

AND THAT JUST KEEPS PLAYING

IN EVERY RADIO STATION

GRANDMA IS DYING ALONE AND IT IS YOUR FAULT -the song

OH YOU ARE NOT IN THE MOOD TO LEARN A LESSON YOU JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY? TOO FUCKING BAD

[bisnes-socks]

potential culture shocks for Bojan in Finland? 👀 do you think he has something more to add to the list next to very chill waiters and suspicious door handles?

hmmmmmmm i might be the wrong person to answer this because to me nothing about Finland is a culture shock or weird lmaoo something in the same general category as door handles and locks (which apparently are unusual to a lot of foreign people..?), one thing that comes to mind is sisäovi. jere's place is so new that he probably doesn't have a sisäovi but those seem to confuse foreigners sometimes! it's a door right after the front door, so like, you open the front door into a home and bam, there's another door to open right after. their point is insulation and soundproofing but they're not as common in new houses anymore. it's a shame jere probably doesn't have one, because i'd like to imagine bojan not expecting another door right after the front door and walking straight into it 😌 also, fun fact! in finland doors that lead outside (almost) always open out (except of course sisäovi has to open in, because you can't exactly have two doors right after one another opening the same way). there was an order to make it so in 1882, after six mass hysteria disasters in christmas churches between 1669 and 1882 killed 97 people. the common thread was that people thought there was a fire in the church (there wasn't, in any of the cases) and then tried to escape in a wave of mass hysteria. and in three of these cases people then got trapped, when the big church doors would have to be opened to swing inside the church, but the mass of people swarming to the doors made it impossible to actually open the massive doors. so people got trampled and suffocated between the doors and the mass of people coming from behind. and so in 1882 they made it so that doors in churches had to open out, and that has been the custom with all other doors that lead outside too. this has been your finnish history/culture lesson of the day that nobody asked for.

[mehilaiselokuva]

Interviewing a beginner Finnish learner

A bit of a different post for today! I have been working with a friend who has started self-learning Finnish. Maybe you can gain some inpiration or tips from this interview we conducted! I have added extra commentary bits to some parts, marked with "C".

PREFACE

Interviewer: Me

Interviewee: @nuniante

Been learning Finnish for: half a month

Previous knowledge of the language: none

1. How long have you studied finnish actively?

A) ive been studying for just about half a month

2. What is your study routine like? do you study daily?

A) i try to write notes everyday about grammar concepts i think will help me advance at my current level (so far really basic stuff). i try but dont study daily. i also use duolingo to learn basic expressions/vocab and try to immerse myself in finnish through making some of the apps on my phone in finnish.

C) He tends to write at least one sentence in Finnish a day in our groupchat to the best of his abilities and will ask if he doesn't know a word. I feel like that's a very good way to learn when you are learning a specific dialect like he is.

3. What kinds of notes do you take? what do you write down? do you always write things down or just memorize things without writing?

A) my notes are basic. i write in the exceptions but i dont really go into detail sometimes. i might skip over something mentioned in the lesson or material im using if i think that a concept they bring up is inferrable. for vocab i try to memorize words i learn because i know so few that theres not much point to writing anything down. i think when ill reach a more advanced level ill start to write down more

C) I think that this approach is great, finding things you know you'll use and learning those first is useful!

4. What was your initial plan when studying? what things did you study in what order?

A) my initial plan for studying was trying to learn the basics and formal language to help me in learning colloquial speech, which i planned to learn from a friend (im talking about you juho). so far ive studied the basic cases + declensions, basic verbs conjugations, demonstratives and conjunctions and im rn learning about the numbers and the plural forms of nouns. i plan to take a break from grammar and learn vocab next.

C) Remember that all this is just half a month in! I think learning grammar before vocab is very good! You'll start picking up core words while doing that and of you perfect those grammar points early on, you will find speaking and writing easier fast.

5. What is your goal?

A) i dont really have a goal, but i think that if i could hold up a real conversation in finnish id feel successful.

6. What has been the most difficult + easiest?

A) i think the hardest thing so far has been consonant gradation or numbers. gradation can feel irrational, what with weird sound changes (eg. k > v) and also how you cant really predict what grade a noun/verb should be in depending off its form. easiest might be vowel harmony. you can decide harmony just by feeling what sounds better.

C) For once, a learner has not only learned vowel harmony but has no mistakes using it and will not forget that it's there. If you are more than half a year in learning and you still cannot remember to apply vowel harmony accordingly, you need to make it your priority ASAP.

7. How would you rate your current finnish level (speaking, writing, reading)

A) id say theyre all low. reading is probably my highest because i dont really consume finnish any other way. juho said my finnish accent is ok so i think that makes speech second. i havent listened to finnish yet so i cant even tell.

C) This person writes and speaks better Finnish than some people who have been learning the language for like three years! He is very careful with congruence which many learners don't consider very much. This means that he is eliminating most of the beginner mistakes very early on

8. Additional comments.

A) i like saying hyvää yötä

C) I like that our groupchat has started using Finnish and picking up words like "joo" and "sama asia" since we speak the language now. I consider it very admirable that this person has not only started writing Finnish early on, but he is learning kirjakieli, puhekieli AND a dialect all the same time!

Feel free to use this as motivation or inspiration! I recommend finding a learning style that fits you, so remember that what worked for this person might not work for you! I could make this a series honestly, are any of you interested in participating?

[chained-to-the-mirror]

THE BOOKS I READ IN FEBRUARY 2025

My newfound reading enthusiasm has had me in its grip, enough to finish SEVEN books this month! I used to be a huge reader up until my late 20s, but then mental health issues threw me into a reading slump for at least 15 years. I barely finished maybe 5 books in all that time, some of which were probably re-reads.

But this month something happened, and I picked up the first book of these seven - Paino mielessä by Taija Wilenius. The sub header is Oivalluksia syömisen psykologiasta - Insights about the psychology of eating. That's exactly what it is. It's about why some of us eat more than others, what dieting does to your brain chemistry and hormones, how the food industry plays deviously with us... It's a great book. Sadly it has not been translated, at least not yet. It only came out in December I believe.

After that I was on a roll and decided to re-read the next book in the pile: Koolla on väliä - lihavuus, ruumisnormit ja sukupuoli. It's an essay collection from 2007, all about body size, fatness, the fat phobia - often seen through a feminist lens. I read this book when It came out, when my ED was at its worst. It was a trip to read it now, with a much clearer mind. I got even angrier at how the world views fat people - and in 2007 it was in many ways even worse. One of the essays also touches on disabled bodies and how they also are not always allowed to take the space they need in the world. It's all very interesting to think about. Sadly, this book hasn't been translated either. I wish everyone could read it and get angry with me!

The next book is probably familiar to everyone... it's Marie Kondo's first book. I got my hands on a cheap Finnish translation so I read that. I was in my reading slump when the book was read by everyone else, but I'm glad I got to it now. I'm very inspired to go through my clothes in particular, and see what sparks joy and what doesn't. And I already have her follow-up book waiting in my to-read pile.

What I read next was a real lesson in patience. It's called Läski maailma - the original is called The World Is Fat, and it's by Barry Popkin, who is apparently a renowned obesity researcher whose career spans several decades. And that's where the problems start. He was born in the 1940s in America, and he never lets you forget how much there was no obesity problem "back in his day". Basically, he goes through the reasons why there is an obesity epidemic now, and indeed on all continents. It's actually really interesting to read about the example families he has been following around the world, and to understand the different reasons why they are fat. Some reasons are the same, but there are nuances. I must say that he is right about almost everything, but the gets his points across in such a tiresome and annoying way that I really would love to disagree with him. I've first read this book while deep in my ED as well, so I wanted to see what I thought of it now. It's nice to notice that I'm able to filter what I take with me from this type of book. I don't have to take the attitude, even if the facts are accurate.

Then I read one of the most compelling books I've ever come across. It's Madness - a Bipolar Life, a memoir of a sort by Marya Hornbacher. I have read her earlier book, Wasted, several times - it's one of my favorites, another memoir focusing on her experience with various EDs and their treatment. This woman has lived through hell, but boy does she write beautifully about it. I literally hang on to her every word! I read Madness in a day, all 280 pages of it. It was very hard to put down. I understand the bipolar experience even better now - hers is what appears to be a severe case, and she was misdiagnosed for a long time. After finishing the book, I wanted to give her a tight hug... and I hope she is doing alright now, as much as can be expected.

Then I ventured into the world of straight up novels (a particular challenge for me and my pathetic ability to focus). I chose Perfume - a Story of a Murderer (by Patrick Süskind), per dearest @honeybeelullaby's recommendation. I read the Finnish version of this because it was the only one available in our local library. I was sucked into the world of this unique killer - it was a real experience! It made me think about smells and scents in a new light - could it be that our scent is what's truly us? The most jarring thing is that you sort of get the thought process of this undeniable monster. I guess the best monsters are the ones who lack all humanity, but a human can still understand their reasoning. What could be scarier than that? As a bonus, the writing style reminded me a lot of Hesse, whose work I used to read a lot. I am excited to get into reading more novels after this!

Last book of the month was a flea market find. Ruokamysteerit - viisaiden valintojen jäljillä is basically a compilation of data about eating habits and cultures, and what is not only healthy but also sustainable in the environmental and human rights sense. It was a bit dry, and the writers clearly have their own approach and their own opinions, which came through in the text despite the apparent attempt to be neutral. However, I was not very bothered because I mostly share their opinions. It did get a bit annoying towards the end, though. Anyway, there was some good information in there... though some of it is dated because the book is from 2014. An interesting product of its time, for sure.

----

I don't know if anyone is even interested in posts like this, but I was thinking I could keep track of my reading this way. It's nice to sum up what has been entering my brain for the last month. Even if it's just for myself.

What's everyone else reading? Would be interesting to hear about it!

[mooncrack]

Gaz was a trouble maker. Him, Ghost, Price. And Soap were the troublemakers of the school. You wouldn't want to get in there way. It wouldn't be pretty. People call the 141. Nobody known how they got that nickname. They just did.

Price, or his acsual name John is the leader, being the oldest of them all. He's the ring leader and his older sister laswell (real name kate), always helps them get out of trouble.

Ghost, or Simon, is the most violent of all of them. He doesn't usualy 'caus trouble unless you piss him of enough. With usualy ends with the poor person having a couple broken bones. And he always wears a facemask in school with a skull on it, weirdly enough.

Soap, or Johnny is the youngest and most caotic of them all. He is the one who comes up with the 'pranks' and the poor person who's going to get 'prankt'. He's also just barely the shortist of them all (Gaz being two inches taller then him). He's also in the same year as Gaz.

And lastly, the Gaz himself. Or his real name Kyle. He is the jock pretty boy of the group. All the girls are swooning over him. He is the captain of the basketball team, and a fine ass locking man. That doesn't mean he's smart- he is falling most classes (Soap is too, but thats more obvius) sinds he doesn't care to studie. Even with all these girls swooning over him, he has rarely dated somebody. He's not really a player.

And then there is you. Your the new foreign exchange student. With cripaling social anxiety. And you just transferred for there school. Your luckly enough to fall into the background until your first lesson. Maths. Not the best first start, but it could of been worse. And then the teacher makes you introduse yourself infornt of the class. Amazing. You reluctenly and quickly Introduce yourself. You were placed next to a guy name Kyle (sinds the teacher must hate you) and the lesson starts.

But the thing you didn't know is that Gaz fell inlove with you at first sight. Your accent. Your hair. Your eyes. Everything. He was smittend. And know he was sitting right next to you. All focus is out of the window for him. He is even trying to focus of whatever that boring teacher is saying. Just. you.

Eventualy we get asignments handed out that he (the teacher) wants us ti finnish THIS lesson. What a mennis. So you focus all your attention of finnishing this asignments sinds ofc your not going to get in trouble on your first day. Minutes after the asignment is handed out you feel a tap on your shoulder. It's your desk partner, Kyle

"Could you help me with this?"

he asks you pointing to a question. You already had this subject at your previos school so this is light work. You start to exsplain the subject with leads into a convo.

When you agree to exsplain the subject and the question to Gaz he is astatic, listening to your every word. As you dumb down the subject exsplaining it with ease. With somehow makes him acsualy understand it. But he uses this as a opertunity to start a acsual convo with you to learn more about you. Like what country you come from, what your natie language is (he'd 100% try and learn or understand it if it isn't english) and what you like

As he hears you rant about things you like and your home country, he can't help but think that you would be perfect victim of one of Soap's 'pranks'. But he wouldn't allow that. But he couldn't let them know that he is head over heels for the new weird foreign kid. But the fact that you help and exsplaind maths to him. He could use the exscuse that you are tutoring him. But no matter what. Your not gonna get bullied by his boys. He won't allow that.

-------------------------------------------------------

Hallo, everybody. I just wanna say sorry for the spelling mistakes, I'm dyslexic and english is not my first language- I also hope yall like the story and I could posibly continue it by doing a part two? Or stick to the univers and do a Ghost, Soap, or Price fic. I'm always open to critisism, but please be kind and don't correct my spelling- (it's anoying and nobody cares). But I hope you have a great rest of your day! Doei!

[tumfullofblue]

Suutelu, taidemuoto (Ahti x Reader Sugg)

ʕ º ᴥ ºʔ not gonna lie, I was pretty down both physically and mentally (but I'm sure yall getting tired of hearing this), but once I saw @anonymous-remedy-polls about making out with Ahti and THE RESULTS?

The fire have been ignited, I'm cracking open my bottle of mead!

Suggestive themes under the cut!

(I probably used this gif before, but I can't, he is too hot! Hugeeee kudos to @amiracleilluminated )

Gentle kisses on your forehead when you’re tossing and turning in your sleep, the uneasy visions flooding your mind. He takes them all away and you sleep like a child all until the morning.

The first shy kiss you give Ahti on his weathered cheek as a sign of graditude. He’d sigh and chuckle and shake his head, because you were acting so silly – old men like he was didn’t need no kisses. But, as it turned out, he wouldn’t mind getting more.

Him taking your hand and placing a kiss on the back of it, like a true gentelman. He mutters something in finnish under his nose and turns your hand to look at your palm, making eye contact with you and kissing it there, too. Right at the life line. Blessing it.

You’d feel a hand in your hair, pushing the wet locks to the side, exposing your neck. A shiver already running up your spine when you feel his warm breath hitting your damp skin. He is kissing every little bead of water that’s left after your shower, before giving the gentle slope of your shoulder a small, playfull nip.

You jokingly ask him to ‘teach you how to kiss’. You don’t have to ask him twice, he is already smilling, one hand wrapped around your waist as he presses himself close to you, bragging how he could definetly teach you a thing or two about kissing. And it starts slow, too. Ahti whispering against your lips as they brush against each other how sweet you are to ask him. You gasp and that’s when your lips fully connect. His hand rubbing soothing circles on your back… and you have no breath left in your lungs once he is done with you.

He is worshiping your form with his lips and tongue. No scar or mole or freckle is left without attention as he moves down and down your body. You’re a whimpering, hot, needy mess once he reacher your thighs. One good, solid kiss on a fat of your thigh, tongue darting out to leave a wet trail, like he is tasting you.

‘Säästän suloisimmat suudelmat suloisimmalle osallesi.’

A desperate kiss when you're lost and he finds you. You fly into his arms like a pet leaping into its owner's arms. Your tears wet his shirt, but he just strokes your hair and kisses your ear, whispering words of comfort. You put your face under his kisses again and again until all your tears dry and your heart is at peace.

His fingers working on your shirt, button after button. You bite your lip in anticipation. What’s gotten into him lately? He just made you sit down in his bed, and now he was taking his sweet freaking time undressing you. With your chest on full display you shiver. He leans forward – oh, the wait is killing you, you know how your chest is so sensitive, especially when Ahti plays with its beads, but he just founds where your heartbeat is the loudest… and kisses that area. His expression is all but awestruck.

You mumble how tired you are, sitting on his lap after a long, hard working day. You joke how you’re to pretty to work full time. Ahti jokes back, saying that unlike you, he didn’t get a day off. But it’s okay, as long as he has a pretty thing like you to take care of. You feel his calloused hand on your neck, wrapping around it possesively. He asks if you need another lesson. Already, you feel yourself growing aroused, eagerly pressing your lips to his. He hums and allows you to take control, for now, at least. His hand trails down to your hip, making you grind against him. You moan and that’s when you feel his tongue wrapping around yours, letting you know exactly who was in control of you, of your lips and of your feelings.

It’s messy. It’s hot. The saliva drips down your chin and you could cum just like that, with few of his kisses and grinding against his thigh.

But Ahti thinks you need just a few more lessons.

[mirjam-writes]

My research process for Be Still My Soul

I was asked about my research for Be Still My Soul (GO human au fanfic set in Finnish history. It has also its own blog @be-still-my-soul-fanfic for extra notes and background info), and I was so excited for a reason to babble about my process! Thank you for asking <3

The question was this:

Can I ask what your research process is? How long you’re willing to spend on it and then separating things you’ve discovered while interesting might not be right for the story you’re telling

The quick answer to "how long you're willing to spend on it" is always "way too much", truly ridiculous amounts! But I was also building on a foundation of existing knowledge. I have no degrees on history, but we learned the basics of all this at school. I also loved to listen my grandparents stories of the olden times as a kid; not necessarily about the war, but farming, customs and architecture. My proper interest in the civil war period began in 2018, during the 100th anniversary year. There were a lot of events, articles and news about the war, so I decided to read some of them, including old classics, and visit some museums. When I stumbled upon a reference I didn't understand, I read more, and that was a whole rabbit hole... But! When I started outlining Be Still, I was able to base it on a lot of knowledge I already had, and was able to add the big beats of the love story to the real historical timeline.

Then I started writing. I took a scene or a short period I had outlined and started to ask myself questions. What needs to be shown for the reader to understand the next big beat. What do the characters know, what do they see, what do they think. I always started my research from something related to the outline BUT it definitely got off track and severely out of hand so often! I found new details I could add to the story, and a whole bunch of details I hyperfixated in, researched for days---and used only maybe in one offhand paragraph.

I left so much out, because it was, at heart, a love story and not a history lesson. And some things made no sense to be explained in the story because they were every-day stuff for the characters! So, from the very early on I realised I needed an outlet for all that extra info in order to not clutter the story, and that's how the blog was born.

My biggest tools for research during writing were

online newspaper archives (to figure out what people actually knew and discussed at any current day I was writing about, because nowadays we of course know a lot more about the stuff that happened, than the people knew when it was actually happening. I also used newspapers to search for important information like if Vaseline was already available in 1918 Finland)

national archive's online photo archive (to get visuals of locations, clothes, houses and other things, to be able to describe them better)

Wikipedia (especially for looking for right words; I searched for a spesific thing from Finnish Wikipedia, then opened the English article to see the English word for it, and to figure out if the word is what I'm looking for. And then I went to Discord to ask around on writer's channels if the words I was about to pick were actually general knowledge for English speakers)

census data (I've also done genealogy research for my family, so I still have a subscription to some neat archives. These I used to search for names and professions, and to count amount of servants in big houses, etc)

library (I'm sure our local library thinks I'm doing some important historical research :D I read several books about other people's research, and also fiction. But I have kinda ruined the fiction for myself because I can now spot all the mistakes, and also, in one case, when the author described a scene in vivid detail, I could tell exactly which museum archive photo they had used as a reference!)

Whenever I found something I got curious about, all my other research (and writing!) stopped and I started googling more and more information, which sometimes did end up into the story, but more often did not! But I'm the sort of history geek that likes these rabbit holes, so I didn't mind much.

(Unless it felt like I got no new words into the story for weeks!)

[paquita-alpaca]

omg your fic was so good!!

i loved the premise of it and you're such a good writer!!

i'm one of those 3-5 dom!jere believers i guess 😩

i think tutor jere needs to return and receive a skillful bj, just like he deserves

Thank you so much, lovely anon! Comments like this seriously make my day. I’m over here giggling and kicking my feet. 💚

Dom!Jere believers are a rare and powerful breed, and I’m honored to have you here. 😩 And yes, you’re absolutely right, tutor Jere does deserve a skillful bj. He’s earned it.

I’ve actually been considering setting some of my drafts in the Finnish Tutor Jere universe, so stay tuned… more unhinged language lessons might be coming your way!

[dreamtydraw]

i wanna know more about erinna! what's her story like (｀∇´)! and what's something about her that most other characters don't know?

*crack knuckles*

Tw: abusive relationship ,depression and parental neglect

Erinna Alphonse ( full name ) 's parents died when she was a baby and she ended up in the orphanage. She was lucky to get adopted young by a lovely couple who wanted to have a daughter.

All her childhood, she was pampered like a princess. It all was going well until she tuner 6 years old. After years the couple finally managed to have a legitimate child.

A majority of the family didn't consider Erinna as legitimate in the family but it's wasn't too serious because she was young and the subject didn't come back often. With the arrival of a « legitimate » child the question came up again, they had no valid reason to not count her as a family now they did. It’s simple, outside of her grandparents most of them started to simply tolerated her « when will you send her back ? »

Little iris is now the center of the family and takes all of her parent’s attention.That created the syndrome of the King child. You give everything to Iris the younger because we are so proud to have her, after all, she is the little one of the family, we must pamper her. Erinna is old enough, she can understand, right?

Erinna Understood very well that we favorise the youngest, after all, it is a baby and she has no rancor. She loves her little sister, she looks after her, she takes care of her... So why would she hold a grudge against her?

Years pass and her parent enrolled her in multiple private lessons because failing to grant her their presence in her life, they wanted her to do big and great language studies. In some way, it was for them the only reason she was worth getting attention.

For that, she started an international program in middle school with English for history and literature, added Latin optional, Spanish in LV2, and the following years a study of Russian, Japanese, Polish, German, and in the end Finnish, switching constantly when her level isn’t judged good enough to begin with.

Just by reading it, you can feel how much this program looks heavy for a midlescholer and it is. Above it, she takes care of herself since her parents trust her to be big enough to do it alone. They are too busy and they didn't want to waste money on a nanny when Erinna is capable enough to do everything alone.

growing up too early ruins a childhood and at the age of 15, she is already in Burnout.

No time to make friends you have to work, no time to sleep you have to do your dinner, no time to go out you have to clean your house.

As she’s busy, her parents take even less time for her, ut's a pitty excuse as they are the ones overlooking her and then complain. They go on vacation with the youngest one and leave her the keys for her to study at home because exams go first, they go see the family without her because she's not that welcome now that grandpa is gone. They do not celebrate her birthday because it is too close to Christmas and after all, they can just mix the two and that if they remember to wish her a good day.

The problem is, nothing is all bad or all good for her, it’s a gray area in the heart of the girl.

They are neither bad nor good with her, it's neglect. She’s just so tired, the simple idea of opening a book makes her want to cry. she’s tired of it all but doesn’t want to complain because she doesn’t see the injustice. For her, it's just that she’s rubbing herself for nothing and her parents are doing a lot of stuff so she should stop complaining.

During her last High school year, a person who draws her attention, a boy named Ricky.

Ricky is nice to her, he remembers their little discussions, she gets along well with him and it’s a light of comfort in the ocean of her life. He always try to reach out to her, sometimes walked her home. So when he asks her out she happily says yes, she feels loved for the first time in a while.

No one gives her attention, apart from asking for homework, she has no interaction with the people in her class. She is alone, she is tired, but it is the end of her white exams, which means it's the Christmas holidays and soon her birthday. she will turn 18 and she thought that for the occasion her parents would prepare something, after all, Iris got a giant event for her 10 years.

Their answer to her question :

Oh, we thought you wanted to celebrate it with your friends, we won’t here here for the holidays.

She didn't recover from their answer and that’s the last time she’ll talk to her parents face-to-face because she snapped. She can't handle the pressure anymore, she’s heartbroken, tired and upset.

Ricky moved in his appartement and freshly 18, she takes all her belongings and move in with him.

(This part is about mental and physical abuse)

At first, everything was nice, just a little couple living together. Erinna is at the lowest of her depression, she don’t go out, she sleeps all day, she takes little care of herself and simply loose her sense of time.

Ricky who was once a loving boyfriend is more and more controling. At first it felt genuine but it slowly grew on possessiveness and control, she can’t do anything on her own and he makes sure she can’t. At some point he doesn’t bother no more, simply locking her in the appartement.

The relationship grew violent, he got irritated, she got scared and it escalated in the bedroom.

One days where she cries about her life she thinks about it and how she dosent want to live, not like that, not here, not that way.

So she escapes.

She search for one of her blood relative, she finds the manor and that where her story starts.

[noellesnowelle]

Weekly Update

calm week before the storm, resting, Korean study

09.09.-15.09.2024

Studying

preparing for my new Finnish course which starts next week

got my workbook (it actually fits the autumn theme!)

Languages

practiced typing in Korean with TypeRacer

-> my starting characters per minute speed was 24 and now it is at 36 cpm after a little more than a week (for comparison: in my native language it is 286 cpm)

also did the TypeRacer for Finnish and I have a speed of 210 cpm

finished Lesson 2 and 3 of Unit 1 and started Lesson 4 on howtostudykorean.com

Health

managed my diet (nothing with acid) because I ate too much with tomatoes and had a sore mouth

spend almost two days in bed because my period pain was very bad this time and I had zero energy

managed to do gentle yoga everyday, it actually helped with the pain

For myself

changed my Notion design to an autumn theme

kept my to-do list pretty empty to give myself time to rest

spend a lot more time reading (almost finished Crooked Kingdom, it's sooo good)

journaled to ease my anxiety about the new course

this week's

reading/ watching / listening

Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo

Julien Bam - Das Geheimnis der Zahnfee

Sofia Isella - I can be your mother

Snow Wife - Crazy

[roomchailimited]

Scandinavian Wildlife Expedition: Exploring Sweden and Finland's Natural Wonders

Our journey from Dhaka, Bangladesh, to the breathtaking wilderness of Sweden and Finland was a dream come true for nature enthusiasts like us. The thrill of encountering Nordic wildlife in their natural habitats, coupled with the serene beauty of Scandinavian landscapes, made this expedition truly unforgettable. Planning such an adventure required careful preparation, and Bangladeshi travel agencies like Roomchai Limited, Gozayaan, ShareTrip, and Obokash played a crucial role in making it seamless.

Starting in Stockholm: Gateway to the Wilderness

Our adventure began in Stockholm, a city that beautifully blends modernity with nature. After a few days of exploring its historic sites and vibrant culture, we set our sights on the wilderness of Swedish Lapland. The transition from the urban charm of Stockholm to the untouched beauty of Lapland was nothing short of magical.

The Wild Heart of Swedish Lapland

Swedish Lapland is a realm of endless forests, clear lakes, and majestic mountains. We embarked on guided tours that led us deep into this wilderness, where we had the privilege of observing reindeer herds and tracking moose. One of the most exhilarating moments was catching sight of a lynx, a rare and elusive predator that epitomizes the untamed spirit of Lapland.

Our stay included an unforgettable visit to a Sami village. The Sami people, with their rich cultural heritage and deep connection to the land, welcomed us warmly. We participated in reindeer sledding, listened to traditional joik songs, and shared stories around a fire beneath the aurora borealis, which painted the night sky with its ethereal glow.

Finnish Lapland: A Continuation of Wilderness and Wonder

Our expedition continued as we crossed into Finnish Lapland. Here, the landscapes were equally stunning, and the opportunities for wildlife observation were abundant. Finnish Lapland is known for its bear watching tours, and we were fortunate to witness these magnificent creatures in their natural environment.

A highlight of our Finnish adventure was exploring Oulanka National Park. This park is a paradise for nature lovers, with its diverse flora and fauna, picturesque rapids, and tranquil forests. We hiked through its scenic trails, encountering bird species like the Siberian jay and marveling at the park’s natural beauty.

Choosing the Right Travel Partner

Organizing such an extensive and detailed safari required the expertise of reliable travel agencies. We found Roomchai Limited to be exceptionally well-suited for our needs. Their personalized approach, from handling visa applications to crafting a detailed itinerary, made our journey smooth and stress-free. Gozayaan, ShareTrip, and Obokash also offered valuable services and packages, but Roomchai’s attention to detail and customer service stood out.

Reflections on Our Journey

Looking back, our Scandinavian wildlife expedition was more than just a travel experience—it was a journey of discovery and connection. The landscapes of Sweden and Finland, with their pristine beauty and rich biodiversity, provided us with countless moments of awe and inspiration.

For travelers from Bangladesh considering a similar adventure, we wholeheartedly recommend exploring the wilds of Sweden and Finland. The support of Roomchai Limited, Gozayaan, ShareTrip, and Obokash will ensure that your journey is as seamless and enjoyable as ours was.

This expedition has reinforced our passion for travel and nature, and we eagerly anticipate our next adventure, wherever it may lead. Until then, we cherish the memories and lessons from our time in the Scandinavian wilderness.

[nei-ning]

I'm having a killer headache since I've been sleeping bad and haven't eat much anything since Sunday. Right after sister left, I pretty much have lost my appetite. Not wanting even chocolate. I don't feel depressed or anything either, tho.

Well, I kicked my ass, dressed up and headed out to the market by foot anyway. I bought some food so that I can survive at least few days, starting to head back. On the bridge I spotted this black&white wild duck swimming on the water, stopping to look at it since I've never seen one before. Soon another duck swam there too, this one being light gray with brown head. I instantly, by intuition, could tell this one was female and dark one was male. I watched them a while before starting to walk again.

At the curve more closer to home, a man was walking this tiny white dog. It looked like Chinese crested dog but with white fur covering whole body. I saw this man coming next to me from the corner of my eye. I turned to look at him to greet him but I noticed his gaze was down between us. The dog was already coming at me with so much joy and excitement! The man instantly hurried to say: "No need to be afraid! Se* / It* is nice dog." (Se* / It* in Finnish are used on any gender)

I said I'm fine and asked could I pet it. He agreed happily but the poor dog was too excited to stay still, ahaha! It just kept jumping against me, looking like it's about to snap and go crazy with joy, ahah! At least she/he sniffed my hand between jumping :'D We spoke a bit, then I said: "Let's go home. We have to eat." And we all started to walk, me letting the man go first with the dog. As the man was leading the dog, he turned to look at me with smile while the dog was still trying to get back to me so hard, saying: "It's like you two have known each other forever!" And I just thought that dogs like me, they do sense my energy and are drawn to me :'D

But as long as I was able to see them, the dog so very often turned to look back at me, trying to get back to me. But other than that, it was well trained! It walked so nicely on the loose leash, mostly looking up at the man. Hah, they made me so happy! I secretly wished all the best for them both in my mind <3

Now I'm FINALLY back home, my feet so damn sore because of my 1 size too big shoes and back covered with sweat. I ate salmon soup and started to dig information about those ducks. Turns out they are Merganser ducks. Next I googled their spiritual meaning and, boy, didn't I find so much info I didn't even read them all! :'D But main points which I found easily (hard to read with a headache still):

Native American: Black and white feathers reflect balance and harmony. Merganser ducks are a symbol of change, adaptability, and psychic ability. They redirecting negative energy. Merganser ducks are critical in dream work, meditation, and spiritual practices. Whether you’re looking to connect with the natural world or explore the depths of yourself, the Merganser duck is a powerful and fascinating symbol of Native American culture that can inspire and guide you on your journey. Eastern / Chinese: These beautiful creatures are often associated with beauty, grace, and prosperity and are said to bring good luck and good fortune to those who encounter them. Its appearance is often interpreted as a sign that something important is about to happen.

Celtic: Merganser duck has been linked to themes of transformation and change. Observing the Merganser duck’s behavior can teach important life lessons, such as adapting to new environments and facing challenges with bravery and resilience.

[peachesgaeass]

Hello to anyone who reads this, I have only just started writing and am quite young, so I was wondering if you could give me some critique or pointers on how I could get better and you thoughts on this. It is my own story and I wrote it for my English assessment, I'm hoping I can someday turn this into a novel.

Layers of love

Hurried footsteps could be heard, growing louder by the second, once they stopped the door to the classroom opened, revealing the source of all the commotion. A lengthy, messy brown-haired girl dressed in baggy, green camo pants and a black, plain oversized hoodie, paired with her black converse.

"Ah!" Said the science teacher, making the girls attempts to sneak in futile. "So glad you could make it Lyra. what is it, your third time this week?" She continued dryly.

"Go sit down." Sighed Ms. Kumin as she gestued to the seat next to a strawberry-blonde girl adorned in gold jewellery and dressed in a frilly, pink chemise paired with ripped, skinny jeans. Both Lyra and the girl physically cringed as she took her seat.

"Now, as i was saying 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 Ms. Lanturn rudely interrupted us, your next chemistry assignment will be done is pairs." Loud murmers erupted from the class.

"Hang on. Before you pick your partners, you should know that 𝘐 will be picking you partners." The whole class sighed with disappointment.

"Yes, yes, I know that you hate me, but calm down."

Ms. Kumin called out the class, pairing up students.

"Lyra Lanturn and Minara Pahres."

the two shot a quick glare in the others direction. Despite neither having shared a conversation, they both hated eachother with a passion. Minara hated her because of the rumours that surrounded Lyra, whereas Lyra hated Minara because she was apart of the popular clique, and she hates those gits as a whole. The two girls sat in silence for the rest of the class, the tension between them thick enough to cut with a knife.

The bell rang, signalling the end of class. Minara, eager to leave, grabbed her stuff and started to leave the classroom, while Lyra stayed behind, taking her time, being in no rush to get to second period.

……….——_——……….

It was the final class of the day. Minara placed her books down next to a brunette girl, who was gazing out the window ready for class. Once she realised who it was, she made her attempt to move, but was foiled by their strict, language teacher Mrs. Tinpern entering the class, practically screaming at everyone to sit back down.

Lyra was at her wits end. Minara's constant bombardment of questions and confusion on the subject to the teacher made her question why this clueless prissy princess was even in AP Latin, and if the yapping of this pomeranian would be more pleasant with it's lips duck taped together, and with Lyra becoming more irritated as time passed, the thought became more pleasant by the second.

Neither of the girls muttered a word to eachother throughout the lesson, not even trying to hide their distaste for one another.

Minara was now taking notes from the board while Lyra, having already finnished, was looking out the window like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"so... Berry?.." Lyra started hesitantly, still gazing out the window with her head in her hand.

The usually silent, grouchy brunette's words piqued the strawberry-blonde's interest, though mildly offended by the nickname, lifted her head from her notetaking.

"yours or mine?" The brunette asked.

"Huh?" Answered Minara in a slightly shocked, yet irritated voice, not understanding what she meant by that vauge question.

"Whose house are we studying at?!" Lyra specified, with a harsh side eye paired with her signature aggressive tone, mainly because of Minara's tone more than how she didn't understand. She wouldn't expect Berry to understand anything since she's so stupid.

………——_——……….

To call the bus ride to Lyra's place awkward would be a huge understatement, while both girls were sitting in the back they made it their mission to stay as far away from each other as possible, practically plastered to the glass, neither saying a word.

Lyra's home was of standard size. The back yard was littered with balls, bats, shoes and dog toys, along with an old, faded, red and yellow plastic slide.

"Why didn't we go through the front?" Minara asked quietly to no one in particular, afraid that if Lyra would hear her and get offended.

"Because the gate is broken." She spat with venom.

"Oh... okay." Minara swallowed.

"I'm home!" Called the brunette, a smile slowly etching on her tan, freckled face as the pitter-patter of tiny footsteps answered her call. Seven kids all with the same dark, messy brown hair she possesed, burst out of the hallway like a stampede, and tackled her in a hug. Minara couldent help but smile at the joyous family before her. The genuine smile on Lyra's face as she talked to her younger siblings, left the strawberry-blonde feeling nothing but guilt for the way she treated her, for believing the rumours and not actually getting to know the girl herself.

The 'study' session in question consisted less of actual studying and more of constant bickering, mockery, yelling and constant inturuptions by nosey siblings and worried parents.

Over the next couple of weeks Lyra would ask the simple question, 'your's or mine?', it was asked every now and then at first but slowly became more frequent, and tollerable, as time went on. over this period Minara had built a bond with with the Lanturn family. When she would come over, she would help with the cooking and cleaning, or play and carry-on with the kids and dog in the backyard with constant sounds of laughter dancing in the air.

……….——_——………..

Lyra was laying on her bed, looking down at the phone, waiting for Minara to get out of the shower. It was the strawberry-blonde's first sleepover, having strict parents makes that kind of a given, but they were out of town, so Lyra asked her perents if she could stay the night.

Minara entered the room, having finished her shower, her wet hair clinging to her bare neck, droplets of water dripping down the pale features of her face with a faint blush dusting her cheeks.

"The shower's ready." Minara said, making her pressence known, the brunette looked up from her phone, the strawberry-blonde having caught her attention.

"Lye?" She questioned Lyra, who didn't respond, just staring blankly at Minara.

"Lye." She repeated, waving her hand infront of the brunettes face. Snapping the girl out of her trance.

"Yeah?" Lyra asked, jumping slightly at their close proximity.

"I just said the shower's ready." Responded Minara, chuckling at her friends reaction.

"Oh okay." Replied the brunette, slightly flustered as she felt her friends minty breath fan her face.

"Oh! Right, I forgot." Exclaimed Minara.

Lyra looked at the Strawberry-blonde, waiting for her to continue.

"There's a party on friday. Do you... um... want to go with me?

"Sure. I don't see why not." Lyra Shrugged casually, though internally screaming at the thought of going to a party with her.

For the rest of the night they watched movies and snuggled under the sheets.

……….——_——………..

It was finally the night of the party, Lyra was adorned with rings, and dressed in black, cargo pants with a loose AC-DC graphic tee. Minara accessorised with a gold butterfly necklace and earrings to match, and garbed in a pastel pink and yellow, mesh corset top and a matching asymmetrical skirt, both adorned with embroidered vines and flowers.

And just like any other teen house party, it was loud, crowded, and there was no questioning that the punch was spiked with cheap liquor.

The music boomed as people danced, dangerously close and drunk, the beams of light danced and dappled on the smoke of the fog machine. Lyra being a bit tipsy, now on her third drink, went outside and took a sip as she leaned against the wall by the pool, keeping a distance from the rowdy teens. Minara spotted the brunette leaving and approached her, occasionally losing her footing.

“Why aren’t you dancing?” Lyra nonchalantly asked the strawberry-blonde girl.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Minara retorted.

“Don’t feel like it.” Lyra deadpanned.

“Well too bad.” Minara stated, dragging the brunette to the dance floor.

Everything from then on, felt perfect. After a few more drinks, Lyra became more willing to socialise and dance, savouring these joyous moments with Minara.

The two girls swayed to the music, the strawberry-blonde’s arms draped around the taller brunette’s shoulders, who was holding onto her waist, her head resting in the crook of Lyra’s neck. All sounds seemed to drown out, the only thing to be heard was the sound of each others steady breathing and the rise and fall of their chests, in that moment, all they felt was… serenity. Minara lifted her head to look at Lyra, only to find the girl’s eyes already looking at her, with a gentle gaze, full of adoration. Each other’s eyes locked together, in Minara’s semi drunken state, she gave into the impulse, closed her eyes, and placed a soft kiss on the brunette’s lips. Feeling Lyra stiffen, she quickly pulled away, but taken aback moments later when the sensation of Lyra’s lips crashing into hers welcomed her senses. The kiss was filled with passion, slow, but with it you could feel all the emotions she conveyed through it, love, compassion, longing and more. They pulled away from the kiss breathless, meaninglessly gazing into each other’s eyes, goofy smiles on their faces.

Minara grabbed Lyra’s collar and pulled her into another kiss, this one was different, it was rough and full of lust. Lyra’s hand drifted from the strawberry-blonde’s waist to tangle in her hair, deepening the kiss, while the other drifted to her ass, and squeezed it, earning as gasp from the girl and took it as an opportunity to stick her tongue in her mouth. Minara’s hands had found their way into the brunette’s hair, tugging on it, earning a slight groan in return. Lyra moving away from Minara’s lips, biting the girl’s bottom lip in the process, moved down to her neck, kissing down it, then working up until she found the pulse near her jawline, and sucked it, being awarded by a soft, breathy moan coming from the shorter girl’s lips. She grabbed Minara’s hips and tugged them, bringing her closer, and bit down on the joint between her neck and shoulder, causing Minara’s nails to dig into her back mewling at the sensation.

“Fuck.” Lyra muttered under her breath, finding the action really hot, squeezed her ass with both hands in hopes to earn the same reaction. Minara gasped at the her sudden change of demeanour, lust.

“Let’s bring this to my place.” The strawberry-blonde whispered in the brunette’s ear nibbling on her earlobe.

Minara didn’t know what tomorrow will bring, but one thing she knew for certain is that she will love this girl till the day she dies.

[bigsmallworld]

Nostalgia Advent Calendar: MCR edition

Day 16: The MCR song that sums up your teenage years

Now THAT is all about nostalgia. After all I stopped being a teenager in 2012 so it’s been solid 12 years.

I think my music development changed immensely when I was around 14 or 15 years old. MCR wasn’t necessarily the first one and it would’ve quite shocking from rather happy, easygoing Finnish pop songs to darker rock. Sure there were darker lyrics in Finnish songs but I didn’t really think about the lyrics. It was all about the melody. Until you get angry and frustrated and just in all ways emotional teenager.

But I have to admit I never was very angry teenager. I guess I mentioned it earlier as well? Never hated the world or all people in it. Surely I had issues with my friends and family every now and then but it was always more like some rebellious feelings. I just liked to hang out with my friends, listen to music, try to play some songs in a band (guitar and bass were my instruments). School was cool only because of my friends, music lessons and obsessing over my crushes. The more I grew up the less I wanted to be in there. Yet I was a good girl and never ditched.

For the best MCR song to describe me as a teenager or my life back then is difficult though. I guess I have to abandon all the lyrics cause well they’re deep and dark stuff. So maybe I present the one that I’d say was the one I played the most. And I’m even a little shocked myself when I have to say it wasn’t Welcome to the Black Parade. Even though the music video was (and is) something incredible I didn’t play it over and over. I guess it was a little bit too long and too unique to keep playing over and over. And despite listening The Black Parade in repeat while reading the Twilight saga I guess I still need to pick I’m Not Okay.

At the time I had no idea what it was really about. Just seeing the music video made me think it was something for not the most popular kids at school but first it was about teenage school life for me. And I guess it made me relate cause I never did anything cool or crazy at school (or in general even) but they were different. Not all those perfect beautiful teenagers you see in the movies. But all lyrics I got was the title. I didn’t even fully understood the lines in the music video cause I was lazy to try to even figure out what’s going on. I have no idea how long it took before I actually realised how dark songs MCR has in general lyrically. What I did get out of it was the good, memorable melody and especially the part with English swear word because I wasn’t used to have those in songs. The tempo and vocals’ high volume made it also a good song to shout my feelings while walking somewhere more rural which made it in a way to express my feelings even though they were closer to general ”I hate my parents because they ruin my life” or ”I can’t believe I did this in front of my crush” rather than being bullied. Under the cut some reflections again.

I guess what I thought as being okay was closer to being social outcast in schoo. I was never the popular kid and I guess I had some expectations of the kids who everyone looked up. Like what they do, what they speak about, what they listen to… everything. I was shy, quiet and tried to avoid being in any spotlight. But I wasn’t heavily bullied either. I was very average student and in time even started to let my grades drop because I was done with studying hard. I had pretty much same friends I had had since I was 10 and back then only to actually have the courage to talk with boys online (at the time I barely knew anything about being gay even though afterwards I’ve noticed I had a massive crush on one of my female friends). I had nothing big going on in my life during my secondary school, just living me somewhat happy life and only started to feel anxious when my testos went up and people started to notice and tell that I had a boy’s voice and my friends started to grow apart (though these two things aren’t related). And people who I would’ve liked to keep in my life kind of vanished. Some people moved away and some people I just let go far. At the time I also had a big issue with getting to know my friends’ significant other, I guess it was again me being shy, which made me rather spend my time alone by myself or with online friends or something. And I didn’t actually mind it. I think my parents minded it more, wondering why I suddenly didn’t want to spend time with anyone. I found new friends from new schools so it wasn’t like I was totally alone. But there still is something when you lose the connection with people who you knew and spend time every day for 7 years.

This all makes no sense for the song I picked but hey, it’s my post. And not mentioning teenager me would’ve felt weird. Even though I wasn’t a very good interpreter for the music lyrics I still used music to deal with things. Listening to old or just my fave songs when starting new school where I knew nobody made me feel a little bit more on ease. And I remember even feeling like a total loser when for the first time it wasn’t a musician who I had a celeb crush on but an actor! How scandalous lol.

[tiikerikani]

Somebody from the choir I used to be in asked if I wanted to join her own women's choir thing and at first I was a bit hesitant (because like do I really need any more things in my schedule, and I'm ambivalent about the way she leads practices) but maybe having more stuff in my schedule will make me somehow make better use of my time because I have shit I need to get to? and get to sing stuff that isn't just church music.

Something like half the group isn't even Finnish (her included) so she runs everything in English and I think with a small group (it's like 12 people) you absolutely CANNOT get away with having anybody feel left out so I'm feeling somewhat optimistic about the social aspect too... I bring this up because she's really extroverted and in old choir she was like the international student that everybody just sort of gravitated to including socially (but maybe also because choir geeks/music students have kind of their own culture) and I felt really sidelined.

One singer is a voice teacher and last week she led warmup as a demo, and I was feeling like, ok is this an attempt to sneak formal technique on me, but I think as long as it's a group thing and nobody's being singled out for anything, then I can live with that. She's also offering to give one-on-one coaching before practices.

Afterwards the conductor sent out a group message with the practical details on how to sign up for those individual sessions and how it's a great opportunity they've been trying to set up for a while and it's good for you, and I'm trying really hard not to take it personally because I know it wasn't meant that way (though it felt patronizing either way), since I was very vocal (pun intended) about it being something I'm not interested in because reasons.

It's voluntary and I'm not saying that it wouldn't be beneficial (I think I am pretty okay as long as the warmup routine is good), it's just a thing I won't do even if it means I don't maybe sing as well as the others (I've only met half of them but even the amateurs have been singing/doing music more seriously and purposefully than I have). On the other hand it's such a tiny group and every voice really matters, so I feel bad about it regardless...

but like you've never had people tell you to shut up and stop sharing because "nobody wants to listen to that voice. go take lessons" which solidified my position on "everything I know about singing I learned from choir or experimenting on my own".[1] It's part of my identity that the classical/traditional sound I have is my default and not something I was explicitly taught.[2]

Anyway the group message was also like "when you have good control of your instrument then you can be free to focus on expression" but since when have I ever done it in that order, even on piano[3] ;-) like at practice I always feel kind of weird when they go through phrasing details (especially with very expressive music), because it's largely self-evident to me.

Returning to the bit at the start about filling my schedule, after putting it all into my calendar I'm not really sure whether I will continue after Christmas. It really is a lot (Christmas is a really busy time for choirs though) and the practices aren't on a super-predictable schedule and also I'm sorry Independence Day is a public holiday and I am treating it as a day off. I don't care that there's a Christmas party after practice. (Not to mention that music geek parties have their own set of problems because, let's face it, they are music people and I am not. Yes music is really important to me but it is far from the thing that defines me most.)

__________

[1] I mean sure I actually was pretty shit back then. people are better about not giving unsolicited feedback these days. This is also related to my similar thing about miniature painting and why I don't ask for or want feedback on my artistic things more generally. I do "how do I X", not "how is my X".

[2] People tend to adopt the style of whatever music they heard around them as kids, so for a lot of people it's pop or rock music, and maybe they train into other styles.

[3] Where in addition to technique, it was "learn the piece by memory so you can focus on expression" as well.