#your fave has prosthetic limbs

[your-fave-is-crippled]

Hiccup Haddock The Third from httyd

is crippled/a cripple, supports cripplepunk and has a prosthetic leg

image one: [id: a dark grey flag with a dusty rainbow going from the bottom left corner up to the right, dark grey circles on top one in the middle of the other and hiccup from the series how to train your dragon in the middle of the image looking at the viewer with a determined smile. :end id]

image two: [id: a flag with a grey border around 7 vertical stripes ranging from left to right as dark green, seafoam green, light green, pale green, pale pink, pink and dark pink. on top of the flag is hiccup from the series how to train your dragon in the middle of the image looking at the viewer with a determined smile. :end id]

[wizkiddx]

unusable faces

i have exams hence why i needed to write something exceptionally cringe :)

PSA: this is completely inspired from one of my fave writers own blurb @blissfulparker​ --> completely recommend u go read hers its much better than anything i could ever write!!!! (and just her whole account) = link

Summary: pure exhaustion and mutual pining, Tom Holland x actress!reader

^(just thought this was cute, doesn't really fit aha but full credit to op!!)

A scheduling nightmare would be putting it lightly. Perhaps almost unavoidable but that didn’t make it any less of a hellish form a torture. Harry had very helpfully said it actually was a form of torture, that is sleep deprivation. Y/n loved her job - it was all she’d ever really wanted - yet that thought was quickly becoming not enough to get her through the day. Not when it felt like an interrogation tactic used by the CIA. 

To give a quick timeline of the past few days may give a little context:

Thursday - filming the fight scene all day plus an evening-turned-half-the-night-shoot due to some technically difficulties delaying the process.

Friday - flying to New York while doing read throughs of scenes for the next few days; followed immediately by getting glammed and filming the tonight show with Fallon; then a dash across town to the late late show with James Corden; then straight back on a flight to Atlanta that landed at stupid o’clock in the morning

Saturday - a full day of shooting in a mock grand central station set

The press trip to NY had been unplanned… to say the least. But the star of their studios other new release had taken ill - meaning they had slots booked on some of the biggest talk shows in America that would just be abandoned (angering the shows bookers too). It was a waste of perfectly good promo time and since the studio had their two other stars together doing a block of reshoots - it wasn’t a conversation. Much more a call demanding the two of them to be on the plane.

Normally this wouldn’t be such an unmanageable ask either, except the reshoot block was really rather time pressured. You see, the promo tour wasn’t far from beginning meaning they really needed the final film in the can. So really it was a bit of a mess. Just to free up that single day the two were in New York the whole schedule had had to be rejigged - in doing so they’d lost a rare day off too. It was just typical.  

The joys of success hey?

Well, that’s at least what Y/n was making herself think whilst her incredibly talented SFX artist was in the process of crafting a deep wound onto her upper arm. The reason why she would be ‘dripping with blood’ whilst at a train station was beyond Y/n to be honest - she hadn’t been allowed to read a lot of the script so even now as filming was drawing to a close, the story arc of the movie she was headlining was still a little ‘fuzzy’.

“So I watched your ‘spill your guts’ thing on YouTube” Ellie giggled whilst reaching over for more prosthetic putty- a technical term apparently

“I’m glad one of us enjoyed the experience” Y/n replied with a sigh, rolling her eyes at the mischievous smirk on her face - no doubt Ellie took great joy out of seeing her suffer through eating a thousand year old egg. Which Y/n swore the taste of was still in her mouth… and it seemed as though it’d never leave. 

“Oh don’t worry darling I did too” Nelli called over from the next chair along, where she was doing Tom’s makeup for the day of shoots. “Between that and the animals on Fallon, you made a hell of a lot of people laugh last night” Tom’s artist was referencing the fact one of Jimmys other guests was a zookeeper, so at the end of the interview he had you and Tom join in trying not to scream at the snakes and spiders.

“You mean laugh at us?” 

“Well of course darling!” Nelli exclaimed back in an overdramatic bronx accent making all three of the women burst out laughing, Ellie’s unceremonious snorts echoing through the trailer only egged them all on more.

Tom in response, who had otherwise been absent from conversation for the majority of the morning, exclaimed a curse and jumped up in his chair. While you and Ellie collected yourself, Nelli apologised to him.

“Oh sorry love, I’m interrupting your snooze with my uncontrollable comedic gift” She spoke sweetly, even if still taking the moment to flaunt to the other women, as she squeezed his shoulder compassionately.

“No no” Tom waved off her apology, attempting to rub his eye before Nelli swatted his arm away - a stern look for the risk of ruining all her hard work she’d put into making his face look half presentable. 

“I’m impressed you can sleep while they poke you with all these er instruments” Y/n added in, having only just realised Tom had been in a light sleep for god knows how long they’d been in that chair. It did seem a bit unlikely, being able to fall asleep as you were dabbed, prodded and brushed. 

“Maybe you should try though Y/n… your purple eye bags are proving a struggle even for me” Ellie quipped back, now it was Y/n’s turn to give the stern look. Tom took the explain though, shutting her off from whatever kindly meant insult she was about to throw back at her friend. 

“No normally never, I just….” He was cut off by an ear splitting yawn, appearing almost powerful enough to crack his jaw - which would be a disaster, for no one should ruin such a beautiful and sharp jaw line. “…uh-sorry. I just think I ended up taking my NyQuil and DayQuil the wrong way round in the madness of yesterday.” Only Tom, the poor kid often seemed to lacking in any form of common sense - even if those closest to him knew just how intellectual and passionate he could be about the right topic. Affectionately, Nelli scalded his idiocy by jokingly swatting his head with a little tut.

“I can’t believe your still standing then! I’m barely alive and I don’t have any sedatives in my system.” It was true, Y/n was at that stage where every part of her body felt ridiculously heavy… eyes included … eyes especially. 

“But I did sleep on the jet back while your stupid self was studying the script!” Tom replied with a pretty inarguable point - at the time he knew her actions were stupid;  when their flight took off at 11 PM he was certain that the most valuable asset to his ability to act in the reshoots today would be sleep - rather than character development. And he’d tried to convince Y/n that briefly, but gave up. She was bloody stubborn when she wanted to be. 

“Stop competing about who has it worse cos I think it’s me and Nell”Ellie announced - making Nelli agree empathically with her coworker, nodding her head as she looked first to Y/n in her chair then back at Tom.

“Yeh because we have to deal with your unusable faces!!”

After much sarcasm thrown back and fourth, the trailer slowly ebbed it’s way back into serenity and peace as both artists focused on their work. Once Nelli was done she excused herself, Tom staying in the chair in favour of studying (more like staring blankly) at the dialogue for this mornings scenes. His pretence didn’t last long though and while Ellie was busy adding the final touches of fake blood to the now almost completely believable gash that she’d crafted on Y/n’s arm - Y/n had her attention focused the opposite way.

At poor little Tom. He looked so childlike, his slightly puffy eyes looked as if they had weights tied to them - they way he was having fight against gravity to flutter his eyes open, before loosing the next second only for the process to repeat as they dragged downwards. The broad muscles of his neck occasionally seemed to occasionally let up a little, letting his head tilt slowly at first until it gathered enough momentum to throw him off balance. The then sudden movement of his head unconsciously pulling itself back in line caused his eyes to bolt open prior to the whole cycle repeating again. All Y/n wanted to do was let him lay down someone, her heart feeling a tug in her chest just seeing him like that. 

Ellie proclaimed her completion of the wound, leaning back to admire her work before looking to get an affirming nod from Y/n. Yet instead, she was too preoccupied gazing at the boy slouched across from them. “Someone seems a little distracted.” Ellie smirked, finally garnering Y/n’s attention, only feeling more and more smug watching a light tint appear on the actors cheeks. 

“I-well-no… we need to go.” Y/n ignored her words as though nothing had happened, instead rushing off the chair to get Tom out the chair and onto the awaiting set. They had places to be.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (bcos im lazy)

Honestly when the director, Ed, called for lunch break, it was pretty apparent to be purely as a compassionate gesture to Y/n and Tom. Both of them had tried so hard this morning to fully commit, even so they’d both been almost completely useless. Y/n kept missing cues whilst all Tom’s actions and lines where slow, dragged out and at times completely prompted from someone behind the cameras. 

So when the lunch break was called there was only one thing on Y/n’s mind and what sandwich was available in the mess tent was not it. Still standing on the set next to her fake holdall bag she looked toward Tom, who was pulling himself up to standing from the train station bench - the pace of his movement making him look more like an old man. 

“You good?” His answer was predictable. 

“I’m so fucking shattered”

Tom swore he’d never heard anything sweeter come out of Y/n’s pink lips than her next statement.

“C’mon I know somewhere we can lie down.”

Without any sort of thought Tom blindly agreed, nodding as he took her outstretched hand in his. The gesture in itself brought a fresh wave of comfort to his aching limbs and as his feet stumbled to catchup with her slight head start he leant the majority of his weight into their connected hands. 

Neither would admit it but they were ‘a thing’… whatever the hell that meant. It was clear as day to everyone and anyone that worked closely to the two but neither of them had ever broached the topic with each other. They’d worked on a few films together over the years; each time they got closer and closer to the point any job without the other simply wasn’t as good. It was scary though, especially for two actors in the prime of their careers. If they weren’t working the same film they’d likely be the opposite side of the world to each other most of the time - quality time together would be few and far between, Really their jobs didn’t suit dating at all, yet it would be perhaps easier if one half of it worked a ‘normal’ job. Something with consistency, a regular structure. A level of dependability that neither Y/n nor Tom could offer to the other. 

So it was terrifying, acknowledging the growth in their magnetic attraction to each other. Both were acutely aware that doing that, confronting their feelings, would most likely signal the beginning of the end. 

Although none of this stoped Y/n from returning the gesture, tilting her shoulder into Tom’s left side as they took slow steps through and then out the set building. She steered the two past the hair and makeup trailer and round into a store and extra equipment trailer. Tom tilted his head as she climbed the stairs whilst beckoning for him to follow - it didn’t seem like the most obvious choice. Rolling her eyes, Y/n explained.

“It’s where all the blankets and coats and kept for the raining scenes plusssss no one will disturb us in here.” Again Tom was not in a position to disagree, eyes drooping as his shoulders sagged to the floor. Right now he’d take anything. 

So he climbed up the stairs and shut the door behind him, just as Y/n flipped the light on. She was right, it was well equipped and with an almost mountainous supply of red blankets that normally the crew and extra would all be wrapped up in after the freezing rain scenes with all the ‘waterfall machines’ as Y/n called them. However it was also um…. It was cosy. “Oh I don’t think I realised how small it was” She chuckled lightly, since now the door was closed her back was pressed up against the far wall of cabinets and still her front was mere millimetres from Tom.

“I…I don’t mind… if-if you don’t?”

“I’m too tired to care” She giggled in response, and Tom , now with her seal of approval, immediately started ransacking the piled shelves for all their worth creating a floor carpeted in the pale red of the blankets, in an attempt to make it more cosy. Joining in, it was almost remarkable how quickly their bodies suddenly agreed to move, with the new promise of rest mere moments away. 

Once the trailer was fully drowned, Tom kicked off his costume shoes and threw his jacket off - it haphazardly landing by the doorway. Y/n copied him, leaving her stood up whilst he had the advantaged of already settling down on the floor, her standing and looking down at him.

The space between the two opposing shelving units was not close spacious enough for two people to lie down whilst keeping a respectable level of personal space. Suddenly feeling a wave of awkwardness, Y/n stayed standing, wringing her hands slightly - whilst fairly certain Tom could hear her heart running at 100 mph. 

“You er… gonna stay there or?” Tom, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t a complete idiot - he could see she was suddenly self conscious. He got it too - they’d never crossed this boundary of choosing to cuddle into each other. It had happened once of twice accidentally over there 2 years of knowing each other. Both of those times it was completely accidental, falling asleep watching a movie with a safe distance of space b between the two, only to find hours later their bodies almost completely intwined. Tom would be lying if he said that his heart didnt skip a beat when he had awoken to Y/n’s soft and gently breath fanning into his neck. He’d loved it, but understood that was unconsciously breaking down part of the wall they’d both been the constructors of.

For fear of getting hurt. 

So now, as Y/n awkwardly bent down and lay on her side, he thought it was imperative to make her feel comfortable. Naturally then, his arm slid round her shoulders and pulled her down toward his chest, releasing a little breath as he felt her relax, her legs slowly wrapping round one of his. 

“This okay?” He murmured, now into the crown of her head as she lay half on her side half on his chest. In reply she nodded into him and Tom couldn’t help but grin- unbeknownst to him but Y/n was doing the exact same thing. 

The peace lasted all of 3 seconds until she groaned again.

“What?” Tom enquired as she wriggled out his hold and stood up. Instead of replying though she just leant over and flicked the one harsh light bulb off making Tom chuckle as she fumbled her way back onto the padded floor in the darkness, earning a few grunts from both as she accidentally kicked Tom’s thighs or banged her head on one of the now empty shelves. Fumbling her way back into a comfortable position, occasionally cursing when she stubbed her toe- or Tom did when she accidentally elbowed him in the ribs. 

“Comfy?” Tom asked a little sarkily as he squeezed her a little more into his side.

“Mhmmmm… I’m gonna sleep for 100 years”

“Yeh me… me too”

And with that they both almost instantly and in complete unison sagged into each other and the blankets - the pent up stress and tension of the past few days ebbing away.

What the pair had neglected to remember was that sleeping for 100 years wasn’t really an option. The whole crew of 50 people, who wanted to restart filming after 45 minutes, had not been told about Y/n’s little hiding place. The pair were so completely safe in their own little cocoon of comfort they were completely oblivious to their teams calling there names more and more frantically. Completely oblivious to the game of hide and seek the situation had descended into, completely oblivious to Harrys natural annoyance as the director asked him for the whereabouts of the two stars - as though Harry was childminder to the pair of them.

It was Nelli who found them first. She’d and Ellie and Tom’s manager had all been recruited by Harry as part of the man hunt. Both girls, having seen first hand the state of the two this morning, were fairly certain they’d both crashed out somewhere. So Nelli, already with a sneaking suspicion, opened the door gently, her figure blocking the majority of the light from seeping through to the dimly lit inside. The sight she was met with had her actually pouting at the cuteness - and yes its a cringey word but also the only one appropriate.

Between bedding down and barely an hour later the two had managed to become impossibly tighter pressed to each other. Y/n’s face was pressed into the crook of Tom’s neck and his arms seemed to have pulled her on-top of him almost completely. Her left leg was hooked under his right, which was then sandwiched by his left too. They both looked so pure and innocent and god did Nelli know they both needed any extra time they could get.

Nelli cared a lot about Tom, she’d been working with him from the beginning, from the child star days to now. She cared about him like her very annoying surrogate son and she wanted to see him looked after. She also so completely wanted the two stars to stop pining after each other. Because frankly it was getting a little frustrating for everyone else. 

So she chose to tactically forget about her discovery, sneaking a photo on the sly before silently pulling the door closed and leaving them to their sleep. 

[a-queer-seminarian]

So sorry if this is breaking news to anyone, but: the Bible is ableist. Its pages hold some really shitty stuff about disabled persons.

...AND it’s also affirming of the goodness and wholeness of disabled persons, just as we are!

it turns out that among the many authors of the many texts collected into the Bible, there were differing views around what we now call disability!

so whenever disability comes up in a given passage, i can’t keep my brain from immediately trying to sort it: is it a Good Text for disabled persons, or a Bad Text?

i try to resist that easy binary, because the answer is usually somewhere in between. that certainly seems to be the case for this week’s lectionary reading from Mark 9.

there’s so much wild stuff in Jesus’s little monologue in this lectionary passage, but let’s start with verses 43-47 (my rough translation incoming):

If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it all the way off; it is better for you to enter into The Life impaired than, while having two hands, to go away into the gehenna, into the unquenchable fire.

And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it all the way off! It is better for you to enter into The Life limping than, while having two feet, be cast into the gehenna.

And if your eye should cause you to stumble, cast it out; it is better for you to enter into the Kingdom of God one-eyed than, while having two eyes, be cast into the gehenna, where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched. For everyone will be salted with fire.

oh lord, not the hell talk!! anything but hell talk!! this whole passage bristles with a million ways to misuse it. (homophobia cw: anyone else ever get told “if your sexuality causes you to sin, cut it off — this passage is proof gay people should be celibate!” just me?)

now, my focus is on what Jesus says here about disability, but as we talk about that, better ways of reading the text will come up. for instance, that last verse about how everyone will be salted with fire? to me, that suggests Jesus’ vision of this “gehenna” place does NOT = the standard Christian idea of hell. first off, it’s a place not of punishment, but purification — which is a word heavy with baggage these days...what if I say “reformation” instead? And if that’s the case, i imagine one’s stay there isn’t eternal — why bother reform people who are gonna be shut off in a fire-filled jail forever?

once those fires “purify” you, i imagine your stay is through and off you go into “The Life,” because you’ll finally be ready for it. so that’s one option for getting ready for The Life / The Kingdom of God — or, Jesus says, you can opt instead to get rid of the things that “cause you to stumble” in advance by......cutting off a limb or gouging out an eye??

now. i could be wrong but. if we start by taking this text as literally as possible, with physical stumbling and a physical limb-removal taking place......wouldn’t it be easier to avoid tripping if you’ve got two eyes to see obstacles with, two feet to step over potholes with?? even today when prosthetics are sometimes an option, there’s an adjustment period where you have to relearn walking.

so it seems that Jesus is making one of his trademark statements meant to subvert expectations -- the last will be first, the foolish are proven wise, and those with two feet are more likely to stumble. chances are, he’s not speaking literally. it’s not your literal foot or hand you should be chopping off -- it’s a metaphor for something else.

but before we consider what exactly it’s a metaphor for...where does this ironic little twist leave actually disabled persons? is it shitty of Jesus to be using disability in this way? is this like his “blind leading the blind” & “spiritually blind” comments elsewhere in the Gospels, where he stamps a disability with a moral judgement?

yeah, i do think it’s kinda crappy to use real disabilities for an object lesson, for hyperbolic effect, for shock value. “better to be impaired” (even tho, the subtext seems to be, It Sucks To Be Impaired) “than end up in Gehenna. Trade one terrible thing for a still bad but not as bad thing!” My impulse is thus to throw this passage right into the Bad Text box —except!

Except, i feel like this text holds some positive implications about how Jesus viewed disability, too. 

First off, there’s the implication that one can enter into “The Life” — abundant life, “the world to come,” God’s Kingdom — while disabled. (i wish that were just a given, but it’s not; it’s actually exciting to hear confirmed!)

In the Hebrew Bible (the “Old Testament,” the scriptures we share with our Jewish neighbors, the texts that Jesus would have read and known), the most common assumption about disability is unfortunately that disability = imperfection, and imperfection is something that should be kept out of contact with God.

Now, there are authors & stories within the Hebrew Bible that offer a counter-narrative to that assumption! Two quick examples: Exodus 4 establishes Moses as having a speech impediment, yet he has many close encounters with the Divine. Meanwhile, in Isaiah 56:1-8, God not only welcomes in eunuchs — whom Deuteronomy 23:1 forbade from entering God’s Assembly — but even gives them a place of honor there!

So Jesus’s perspective is not brand new; he simply continues the counter-narrative that other Jewish rabbis and prophets established before him. Still, it is significant that he takes the status-quo-subverting perspective that actually, disability and wholeness are not at odds!

While Jesus’s primary aim with this little passage is not about disability, his weird self-disabling metaphor does imply an attitude of welcome for disabled persons, in that he seems to take it for granted that disabled persons are not barred from The Life of wholeness and abundance he’s talking about.

It’s obvious to him that they don’t even need to be made not-disabled to get there! (Plus, there is no suggestion that once there, one regrows one’s lopped-off limbs or eye / becomes abled again.) This isn’t the only time Jesus expresses this idea of disabilities present in God’s Kingdom, either — my fave is the parable of the banquet in Luke 14 (i have a whooole video about that passage, if you’re interested).

Moreover, Jesus’s closing remarks about salt — which at first glance seem to be something of a non sequitur — can be linked to the Gehenna fire stuff when it comes to the theme of im/purity. Let’s look at that last verse of the lectionary reading, which follows right after Jesus’s claim that “everyone will be salted with fire”:

“Salt is good; but if salt becomes unsalty, with what will you season it? Hold salt in yourselves, and keep peace with one another.”

Another weird little riddle from our favorite riddle-master. unsalty salt? instructions to stay salty?

One way to read this is to focus on the purifying and preserving uses of salt — the way it can keep food from going bad, which was particularly important in a time before refrigerators. in the previous verses, Jesus told his disciples what to cut off — anything that impedes them on the way into abundant Life. Now, he tells them what to hold on to — the stuff that, like salt, clean out harmful things and preserve helpful things, thus enabling abundant Life.

So yeah. In naming something culturally considered an imperfection — disability — as something that can easily enter The Life, no problem, Jesus is making an argument for what is truly impure, what truly impedes wholeness. And it’s not disability! ...So what is it? What are these stumbling blocks that Jesus likens to feet, hands, and eyes?

To find out, we have to rewind to the start of the lectionary reading, a comment from the disciple John that actually kicks off Jesus’s whole spiel:

John informed him, “Teacher, we saw someone throwing out demons in your name, and we stopped him, because he wasn’t following our way.”

But Jesus said, “Do not ever prevent him! For there is no one who will do a powerful work in my name, and will be quickly able to speak evil of me. For whoever is not against us, is for us. Whoever might give you a cup of water to drink because you are in Christ’s name, amen I say to you, that one will not utterly lose his reward.”

The disciples have a certain way of seeing the world, and their actions against someone who is not one of them, but still using Jesus’s name to cast out demons, show us what that way is. They see the world in terms of us vs. them, in vs. out, one right way and many wrong ways. It’s this perspective that impedes them from supporting other people’s kin(g)dom-building work when it differs from their own.

But Jesus tells them they need to stop thinking this way, and start recognizing that there isn’t just one road to the Kin(g)dom, but many — and to quote Jesus’s words from other parts of scripture, you’ll know that someone’s work is good when it produces good fruit. This dude might be doing things differently from how they do it, but the fruits of his efforts are good — the casting out of demons, which frees people up for new life. So don’t stop him — support him! Be glad for his work!

To sum up the entire passage now that I’ve laid it all out and shown how the seemingly-disjointed parts of Jesus’s speech connect, I see his argument as something like this: “That dude you tried to stop is not against us; we can see that by the consequences of his actions, which are positive! His goals are the same as ours, so don’t hinder him just because his path is different from yours! Now, here’s an example of people/behaviors that ARE against us: people who cause little ones to stumble. And you know what you should do with such stumble-makers (or else the stumble-causing behaviors/attitudes)? Cut them off. Let go of anyone or anything that keeps you from abundant life, from the liberation God intends for all. Meanwhile, hold on to the things which purify you like salt — the things that liberate you to enter wholeness. Do it now of your own accord, or accept that it’ll happen later, and it won’t be very fun.”

To reiterate what all of that has to do with disability theology, I’ll share what my friend Laura said when I brought all these ideas to them. (Laura is the host of the Autistic Liberation Theology podcast, which i highly recommend for anyone who wants to hear more Bible stories told through a disability lens!)

Laura noted how common perspectives around dis/ability lead people wrong today, impeding our liberation. Our society teaches us that in order to function as whole persons, we need to be able-bodied (and neurotypical), and that the kinds of accommodations that disabled persons require limit their quality of life. When those ableist assumptions are the lens through which we view the world, that can “cause us to stumble” in the metaphorical sense — can impede us from loving ourselves and one another fully, and from fully participating in the diverse Kin(g)dom of God.

They offered two examples:

When a person with a mobility impairment that could be improved with a wheelchair avoids using that wheelchair because of internalized ableism, preferring the increased suffering that walking more than their body can healthily do over being “wheelchair bound,” that internalized ableism is a stumbling block keeping them from abundant life. Learning to let go of those beliefs, to use a wheelchair when they need to, will — contrary to that “wheelchair bound” language — bring liberation. 

Their next example imagined a parent who puts their autistic child through ABA therapy in order to get them to talk, make eye contact, and otherwise behave like a non-autistic person, due to the belief that autistic persons are missing elements of a full personhood, or that they can only live a happy life if they learn how to mask their autistic traits. However, in reality, ABA therapy brings the child pain and trauma — it impedes rather than enables their quality of life. Letting go of that need for your child to communicate through spoken language and otherwise behave like an allistic will make room for celebration of who they really are!

As Jesus’s comments in this passage imply, a disabled person can enter into “The Life” of wholeness and kinship that is the Kin(g)dom of God just as they are. To try to sever their disability from them would be the hindrance to that liberation. To deny that there are many ways to participate in the Body of Christ  impedes the incoming Kin(g)dom.

So let’s take this message to heart. Let’s consider what points of view, what assumptions about what is necessary for wholeness, are currently keeping us from abundant life, or causing us to stop others from their abundance-bringing work. It’s time to learn how to let those harmful assumptions go — and hold tight to the things that bring true wholeness.

For more on this text, check out my translation notes, which include a lot of commentary from D. Mark Davis’s own exegetical work.

For more on disability theology, you might enjoy my #disability theology tag on tumblr or my Disabled AND Blessed YouTube series. This video exploring the many different perspectives on disability found within the Bible is particularly pertinent.

Finally, what do you think? What good news do you hear in this Mark 9 text? What parts of it feel like a stumbling block for you, dredging up hurt or confusion?

[jasontoddiefor]

fave vader injuries you say? ok. his knees. how does anakin feel about his knees? idk I just think it'd be fun for there to be a segment of him just talking about how wild the human body is how that he has to pay attention to his needs. he can cry now because his tear ducts are not burnt out. he can taste things. he will eat everything and no one can stop him.

TW for Vader’s general health and also eating disorders. And yes, Anakin definitely cries a lot.

Instead of using durasteel for his leg prosthesis, the medical droids had substituted an inferior alloy, and had failed to inspect the strips that protected the electromotive lines. As a result, the inner lining of the pressurized bodysuit was continually snagging on places where the strips were anchored to knee and ankle joints. Additionally, the tall boots were a poor fit for his artificial feet, whose toes lacked the electrostatic sensitivity of his equally false fingertips. These devices made it even more difficult for him to move with ease, much less with any grace. Raised in the heel, the cumbersome footwear canted him slightly forward, forcing him to move with exaggerated caution lest he stumble or topple over. Worse, they were so heavy that he often felt rooted to the ground, or as if he were moving in high gravity. 

And

The alloy strips were added in late into the surgery, to allow for Vader to walk relatively normally after simulations revealed that his stock prosthetic legs would buckle under the overall weight of his armor.

And

When put to use, his mechanical legs would allow him to leap a considerable distance.

- Wookiepedia on Vader’s armor

Every time I read this I wonder how this man managed to walk at all. If your knees are messed up, walking becomes so, so difficult. Never mind that this whole armor was at first apparently too heavy for his artificial limbs. Really says a lot about how strong Anakin was that even with all of this, Sidious decided he would still be the perfect attack dog. Since Vader could very much still jump, but was so heavy and he himself thought that the droids had messed up with them, can you imagine how much pain he must be in? Like gravity constantly pulling all that weight downwards and if you add shock to that?

I can totally see Anakin doing like, experimental jumps like kids do when they’re bouncing everywhere. Getting used to the fact that shock actually gets absorbed well and it doesn’t hurt (beyond phantom pains). And his knowledge of the human body is so big now. He knew what was wrong with him so he knows in detail how human bodies actually work! He was no medic, but now he definitely has all that knowledge and probably keeps going on and on how fragile and easily breakable human bodies are. One thing out of synch and you’re already messed up!

And food, oh hell. He would definitely go between eating everything in reach, overeating no matter what it is, even the horrible ration bars and forgetting to eat at all for days. People have to remind him to eat and when to stop eating. He probably experiences a void where he feels like he needs to keep stuffing himself and on other days the smell and texture of food disgust him and he throws up.

[princessselene126]

Why I love Linh Cinder

Okay so an anon asked me what I liked about Cinder on my Kai account and I didn’t realize it was on that account, so I wrote this whole thing out about how much I love cinder (in addition to responding as Kai on that account). I didn’t want it to go to waste, so here are all he things I love about Cinder. Literally essay length. This is like… 2 pages single spaced on a google doc.

Let’s start with the external stuff--what I’m happy that MM did with her physically. 

I am so unbelievably happy that we got an asian female lead, like… i can’t even begin to express how happy that makes me. There are so few asian people in media, nonetheless women. And on top of that she’s a tanned asian? She’s not pale like the majority of asians that are in media tend to be. So that really makes me happy.

On top of that she’s a physically disabled, dark-skinned, asian female lead. Like… she’s missing limbs. Yeah, she has cybernetics so she can function better, but they’re just higher tech prosthetics. They hurt sometimes--she’s canonically gotten phantom pains--she has bad dreams about how she lost her limbs, etc etc.

Now we can start getting into her character traits and abilities

For starters, she’s not your typical YA Mary Sue. She’s introduced as a literal mechanic--which these days is a male dominated profession--and not just any mechanic, but the best mechanic in a city of millions. Most female leads in fiction these days are either badass crime fighters (Tris from Divergent) or your “normal” boy-crazed teenage loners (Bella Swan from Twilight). 

Cinder is so much better because she’s in the selfless revolutionary teenager trope with people like Katniss Everdeen. Cinder was thrown into a role that she didn’t want, but still took it in stride. Did she want to quit and run away? Absolutely. She was going to at the end of Cinder, but she ended up going to the ball instead to warn Kai that Levana was planning on killing him. She didn’t have to do that. She could have saved herself and run away to Europe with Iko like she wanted to for years. But instead she decided right then and there that warning him, potentially saving the earth from a tyrannical queen, was far more important than herself.

Up until the end of Cress, Cinder actively tries not to kill anyone unless absolutely necessary. Even then her killing Sybil wasn’t on purpose. She only wanted to break Sybil’s mind. In doing so, Sybil ended up jumping off the roof. Cinder always wanted to keep innocent civilians out of the way. She was completely devastated when she found out everyone in Farafrah was massacred. She was devastated and she was angry, and that was a huge turning point for her. It wasn’t about getting revenge, but justice. She needed to take Levana down to stop people from getting killed--whether from normal soldiers, wolf mutants, or mind control by thaumaturges--and to make sure that those who did die didn’t die in vain. She wanted their deaths to mean something.

On top of all her selflessness, Cinder is incredibly smart, and not just because she has a computer in her brain. Having the ability to access the internet whenever you need information is obviously handy, but she’s smart enough, adaptable enough, self efficient enough to go without that after she nearly drowns in Artemisia Lake in Winter. Of course she’s frustrated that she doesn’t have access to things she usually does, but she makes due without it. She adapts, she overcomes, she’s obnoxiously persistent, which I’d argue are the most important things anyone can do. Being able to adapt to change and persist despite obstacles are probably the most important skills a person can have.

Okay, enough with the heavy. There’s a lot of little “unimportant” things about her character that I love too.

Her awkwardness is so endearing and relatable. She has absolutely no idea how to talk to Kai when they first meet. She stumbles over her words and tries to do a little bow, and it’s ridiculous, but so perfect at the same time. Even after meeting Kai (the prince and soon to be emperor) and knowing that he seems like an easygoing person, she still doesn’t know how to talk with him, or interact with him, or do anything around him really. She’s normally decently put together (at least outwardly when it comes to her thoughts and feelings) but around Kai that all goes out the window. Of course she still has her guard up around him, but the wall keeping her awkwardness away has been completely torn down. And it continues to stay that way.

Her sarcasm!!!! Like, I just love that. I first read Cinder when I was 12, so I’m not sure if I became sarcastic because of her, or if I loved that about her because I already had a very sarcastic sense of humor. Either way, Cinder’s sarcasm is peak. I especially love when she and Kai are sarcastic shits together, that makes my otp heart skip a beat.

I love how she develops friendships with people that she never expected to. Cinder is not used to having friends. For five years her friend circle was Iko and Peony. That was it. Then all of a sudden there’s this prince who likes talking to her, who thinks that her being a mechanic is not only cool, but attractive. Then there’s this asshole who started soap protests and is a thief on basically every continent that she finds when she’s breaking out of prison. She and Thorne end up breaking out together, and even though she’s usually annoyed by him, they become friends. And then they save Scarlet and Wolf in Paris, and they become her unlikely friends too. She doesn’t have much time with Scarlet before the redhead gets kidnapped, but she does have a lot of time with Wolf. Wolf who teaches her how to fight better and how to use her glamour better, and she finds that she likes talking with him because he understands the outcast thing. She’s very suspicious of Jacin at first, because, well, he’s a lunar guard. Even with their “I’m loyal to the princess” misunderstanding, he kinda grows on Cinder. Then they get this genius hacker girl who is so tiny Cinder could carry her like a sack of potatoes. Cress might be on the shy side, but Cinder is grateful for that because Thorne’s jokes are more than enough to fill the silence. And everyone who meets Winter loves her so like... how could Cinder not? I honestly wish they were all together more than just the end of Winter and in Something Old, Something New because seeing her interact with them all at once is wonderful.

A few other random iconic things I love about my fave space queen in no particular order:

High fiving Thorne at her coronation.

Always having some sort of stain on her clothes (gease, blood, frosting, you name it)

How little she cares about physical appearance in general

When she thought Kai was proposing at the end of Winter

Giving Adri the patents for the BSB despite how terrible she was to Cinder

Her lie detector

Giving her all to a country she didn’t even know

Staying up all night talking and cuddling and making out with Kai in SOSN

Shooting Wolf with a tranq dart

Desperately trying to save Peony, but giving the antidote to Chang Sunto when she couldn’t

Kidnapping Kai

Breaking out of prison (twice) and taking Thorne with her

Telling people she’s Princess Selene at the worst possible times

[kat8porgs]

“But perhaps there is a different sect we could ask for an engagement.” Jin Guangshan turned in his seat and smiled at Wen Qing and her brother. “What do you say, Sect Leader Wen?”

“…” Wen Qionglin was stunned, his wine splashed over the front of his robes and stained the white cloth a deep, bloody red.

“Ah, Sect… Sect Leader J-Jin.” The boy’s voice was weak and thready, barely audible over the murmurs of the banquet. “I do not want to marry your son.”

One of my fave new bits from my work.

Agh, 32k and still no cultivation powered prosthetic. 

The next bit should be Lan Xichen though, who has not had a PoV in AGES and is going to be upset by his continued lack of hand. I might tie in some phantom pains with it. The plan is to talk to Su She about how LXC trusts him and if Su She wanted to establish his own sect, since he’s been the right hand man (ha ha...) to a sect leader for a bit, LXC would support him.

IDK if Su She genuinely likes Lan Xichen or if he’s using him. Because like, look, early Su She was just... like, understandably a hot mess. So, he’s kind of using LXC because he HAS already fucked up and being LXC’s personal disciple is kind of a big deal.

BUT THEN, I will get CLOSE to robot hands because WWX is gonna be at Lotus Pier and in need of a PROJECT and you’re going to tell me there aren’t more disciples out there with lost limbs? You would be wrong! 

[cj-and-cjs-ocs]

2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 18, 26, 28, 29, 30, 33, 35, 41 and 62 for Inlustris? :0 sorry if it's a lot ksdjksjdks, she's one of my fav OCs of yours and would love to know more about her---

Jkhdsfkhjsd this is awesome XD (and heck she’s probs one of my faves too)

2. What is their sexuality?

Probably straight? Maybe. Idk bc she is attracted to the males of her own species but she also happened to be attracted to a male of a different species...so I’m not sure how straight that really is.

3. What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames?

8D aaaa YES! okay okay...so Inlustris actually means “starlight” in Latin, and she’s named this because Reptmalian royalty is supposed to be descended from living stars! “Starlight” also happens to be her nickname (although the only one who really calls her that is Milo)

5. What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives?

Inlustris HATES her dad, which is pretty obvious I suppose, she’s also pretty angry with her sister as well and has basically “disowned” both of them as relatives and only refers to them by name. She barely remembers her mother, but she’d visit her tomb every so often and bring some flowers, which was always very relaxing. Inlustris never really met any of her other relatives, since she was so overprotected, but she wishes she’d got to know them better as they could’ve been helpful allies for her.

8. What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? In Reptmalian culture, it is believed that royals will return to the stars after they die and become part of the big galaxy that can be seen from the planet Thiolia. This doesn’t scare Inlustris, but what does scare her is being separated from her loved ones once she’s gone.

9. What is their favourite colour? Favourite animal?

Her favourite colour is purple! Like, a very light, pastel purple. Inlustris’s favourite animal is the Lantern Dragon (a creature on Thiolia) she wishes she could see one in person someday.

10. What are some of their talents/skills.

Inlustris is a very resilient fighter and is fast to think and act. She is incredibly talented when it comes to science and technology, and is able to build, invent, and fix most machines or prosthetic limbs. She’s also gotten very good at some medical things, mostly involving deep wounds and small surgeries.

11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like that to be?

I’m going to make this sound at least cheesy as I can but, she would want to be known as someone who stood up for the oppressed and fought for inter-species marriage rights as well as the rights of humans. She’d also like to be known as the one to reveal the true nature of her father.

12. How old are they? When is their birthday?

Inlustris is 16 (in Reptmalian years, she’d actually be 18 if she was human) when we first are introduced to her. Her birthday is actually coming up! It’s June 3rd (The day I’m pretty sure I came up with her idea and design).

18. What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages?

Inlustris can speak Reptmalian, Universal, and a small amount of English. She learned Reptmalian from her family and general studies (it’s her first language). Her sister actually helped her learn Universal, since it’s a language that is used very frequently. Inlustris has picked up small words and bits of English dialogue from living with Milo.

26. Are they aware of their flaws?

For the most part, yes. Although she often pretends to not notice them and remain in ignorant bliss, until they start causing problems.

28. Are they aware of their strengths?

Only when someone points them out to her. She’s been so neglected for most of her life that she finds it hard to see what she’s good at.

29. How would they describe their own personality?

Inlustris would describe herself as “the helpful extrovert gets excited to easily”

30. When frightened, will they resort to “fight” or “flight”?

Fight fight fight!! She’s a fighter at first response, but knows when it’s best to run.

33. What is their biggest fear? How would she react to having to face it?

Her biggest fear is losing her freedom again, and would fight it with every ounce of her strength.

35. What is the easiest way to annoy them?

Talk over her, interrupt her, or completely ignore her altogether. (It’s about the disrespect)

41. What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh.

Inlustris, when she’s really laughing, sounds a lot like a kookaburra but more dinosaur-like, and she totally snorts when she find something really funny. She laughs a lot, but it’s mostly just giggles.

62. Have they ever been betrayed? How did it affect their ability to trust others?

YES. Her gosh darn sister has gone behind her back (more than once.). Inlustris is a very trusting and forgiving person, but since her sister betrayed her, she hasn’t been able to trust anyone of her own species. (And for good reason.)

[djpurple3]

TS INKTOBER DAY 17

me???? skipping another two days inktober?? it’s more likely than you think.

prompt was : “Take your fave character or OC and reimagine Steampunk versions of them!”

and i got carried away enough to draw 3 characters instead of 1 but also too busy to colour these bad boys so instead here is a wholeass steampunk AU i started making. Also Oops Virgil is the only one who looks like he’s Actually properly steampunk please forgive me.

maybe i will colour this one day. I accidentally made a story oops. Gonna put it below the cut because it got LONG again but plz read??? Now to go back to writing my last uni assignment before i run out of time asofkhsglhfjglrkhsdogdfjdjgd

@leiasolo77​ @thatsthat24​ @guglefug​

Remus was one of the 2 sons of the king of this as of currently generic steampunk world, where Dee was one of his body guards and Virgil was actually the son of one of the court entertainers but he was also a great mechanic so he was useful around the Steampunk Castle or whatever. However there was an attempt on the royal lives where some people blew up the palace during a big function like a ball. They killed the king and queen successfully. They didn’t get Remus or Roman (and Remus knows Roman isn’t dead, and is doggedly searching for him), though the explosion did take out both his legs and Dee’s hand (and badly scared Dee’s face). Virgil took them both to Logan, who was a one of the leading mechanics in the area especially in the realm of prosthetics. (Remus had met Logan multiple times, and really liked him A Lot, which is why he has an owl tattooed on his chest. I mean he also saved his life so that’s Hot but he liked him before that anyway. He’s not convinced Logan likes him back but Logan did get a matching octopus tattoo so ???? But after they went on the run, he hasn’t seen Logan since. He hopes he’s alright (Logan’s with Roman jfkhslhgsg dramatic irony) and he really hopes to find him again someday)

Dee’s hand is multi-purpose now, so it’s a functioning hand which can retract to sprout (?? not the word i want but :/ oh well) a blade. Dee decides to take this as a blessing because now he always has a weapon On Hand (ha) to defend Remus with. Despite the fact the monarchy has solidly fallen over now, Dee takes his security job even more seriously than before. It’s probably because they end up in more dangerous trouble a lot more often now, and it’s totally not because he just Likes Remus a lot too.

Virgil got away mostly unscathed, especially seeing as he was nowhere near the ballroom at the time, and he’s the one who makes sure his idiot friends’ limbs are still functioning. Because of his dad, he is also a surprisingly good dancer. This comes in more handy than you’d think.

Virgil is the braincell of the group. Remus is the muscle. Deceit is kinda the leader?? He has a lot of technical knowledge but not a lot of Street Smarts (virgil’s job). he’s also the one who makes sure they don’t Die most of the time. Remus knows a lot about the world in like super detached ‘i was taught this out of books’ way. The three of them make an amazing team esp when it comes to scavenging and dodging authority; because people are either looking for the royal sons to put them back on the throne (which is a little dodgy??) or to finish the job ie kill them (which is even more dodgy lmao).

OOPS this was a long post again my bad ENJOY MY 1AM RAMBLINGS

[spoonssporksandknives]

ableism in media: Star Wars

I’m picking on my favest of fave fandoms today y’all: Star Wars. Yes, you actually can enjoy a Thing while acknowledging that said Thing has problematic elements. I LOVE Star Wars, but it’s incredibly guilty of having people who look disabled as their visual shorthand for evil. I’m going to use examples under the cut, but before I do, I’ll say this. It’s okay for ableds to reblog this (please do in fact) but only if you’re actually going to engage in respectful discourse. Racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, fatphobia and other related hot takes can jog on. 

Also also: Star Wars abbreviations and their main characters for the more casual fan: OT = Original Trilogy (Luke, Leia, Han); PT= Prequel Trilogy (Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan); (Sequel Trilogy = Rey, Finn, Poe)

Now, back to our regularly scheduled light reading: ableism in Star Wars.

For our visually impaired readers, the top image shows Anakin Skywalker’s first prosthetic hand from AotC, with the caption, “A mechno hand replaces Anakin’s after he is maimed by Count Dooku. As a result of his impetuous passions, Anakin has begun to lose his humanity.”

The second image is of Anakin’s hand in RotS, with the caption, “Some Jedi Council members believe that when Anakin lost his right arm to Count Dooku, he lost some of his humanity.”

Because losing a limb makes you lose humanity, amirite guys? And they even did it twice: the top image is from the AOTC Visual Dictionary and the latter is from the ROTS Visual Dictionary. 

It’s in the sequels too, because nothing is more evil than being old AND disabled: (image of Snoke on his throne)

And I know that in a visual medium you need some sort of visual indicators of evil, but using disability as code for evil is all kinds of Not Okay. And let’s not forget that Vader was a huge walking symbol of that in the OT.

However, Star Wars has not limited itself to obviously disabled characters. There are no explicitly coded invisible illness characters (unless we’re counting Vader’s breathing but considering he walks around in a giant space iron lung i think we can say that even that is a visual disability) - there are characters who definitely display characteristics of invisible disabilities. And I’m going to start with the ST’s most overtly coded as mentally ill character. That’s right, it’s ya boi Kylo Ren!

(image: Kylo Ren walking shirtless, in high waisted pants)

(I was originally going to put in a gif of him having a meltdown and destroying a console but I couldn’t find one easily but him shirtless was easy peasy. Go figure.)

Kylo Ren has been a very divisive figure in the fandom - much like Anakin in the PT, and for similar reasons. Public opinion has softened much on the PT but at the time of its release people hated heavily on the things that were coded as mentally ill in Anakin as well - outbursts, whining (is it really whining if you’re worried about your mum dying??), tears, anything not reeking of machismo, basically. Now, there are parts of fandom that have gone out of their way to point out the ways in which Kylo displays tendencies that could be read as autistic/neurodivergent, borderline personality disorder (BPD), or even dissociative identity disorder (DID). Much of the hate that Kylo receives is quite ableist in nature. However, he’s not the only ST character to display mental illness and receive hate for it. 

Let’s talk about our reformed Stormtrooper and hero of the ST: Finn. One of the first major scenes involving Finn shows him having a panic attack on the field (and then later after his conversation with Phasma). Finn clearly has PTSD, or maybe C-PTSD - I’m a lay reader and not a psychologist here, on one hand, and on the other, I legit have PTSD and find Finn very relatable.

(image of Finn in his Stormtrooper armor, mask streaked with blood)

And one of the things that disturbs me most about fandom and its tendencies toward purity culture is the fact that many of us who have invisible - and in particular mental illnesses - do in fact enjoy seeing characters who are coded like us surviving, thriving, and yes, still being disabled. Finn has overcome a great deal to get to where he is in the story. Let Finn be happy. Hell, let’s let Kylo live and be happy too. (I know he’s the villain but can we not kill off the obviously abused character?) Dark Side characters often have some sort of trauma and again, it’s the conflation of evil and disability that disturbs me deeply.

And while I’m on the subject - can we talk about the inherent colorism involved in the Dark Side? Color coding evil as darkness continues to perpetuate colorism. I know it’s used because people are afraid of the dark, but in this day and age it’s naive to think that this bit has no psychological effect on the public at all. The choice of Finn as hero is wonderful and it disappoints me greatly that the hints of his Force sensitivity have not been followed up on as of yet. *has a small amount of hope that maybe JJ will do right by our Finn*

Now, there’s a lot that’s problematic about Star Wars’s Force philosophy, and I’m aware that I very much see this as a religious minority, but the Force takes a great deal from eastern religions and philosophies but then turns around and overlays it with some very US Christian light/dark and good/bad duality in a way that is nonsensical to anyone with a background and understanding of the original philosophies. I have an entire tag on my main blog about this, entitled Paganism and the Force. (For the curious, I made this blog because the main is mostly star wars gifs and baby animal videos. I didn’t want people to wade through it for serious stuff, but if that’s your thing have at it) I may cross post or add on to the series here as well. For now, I’m going to leave you with a quote from another writer, who has reached a similar conclusion:

“… it may be countered that the Sith are worse than the Jedi because they commit a number of obscene acts throughout the films, most prominently the use of the Death Star to destroy planets during the Galactic Civil War in Episode IV. Two points in response to this. First, it effectively amounts to a “what-abouttery” argument; an informal fallacy. The Jedi are moral degenerates regardless of what the Sith do or do not do.

Finally, it may be countered that the Jedi only use the light side of the force, and therefore are good, whereas the Sith only use the dark side of the force, and therefore are bad. This is an argument not of reality but of word connotations. Simply put, there is no logical reason to hold that “light” equates to goodness and “dark” equates to badness (emphasis mine). Crucially, both light and dark are equal sides of the Force; they have to exist, as is often said in the films, in a “balance.” Pretending that one side of the Force doesn’t exist isn’t going to make it go away (as much as the Jedi seem to wish this).”

--  Matthew Berto, 'Star Wars': The Sith are the Good Guys and the Jedi are the Bad Guys

War is messy, y’all. Atrocities are committed on both sides and while we might all like a clean cut narrative where the Rebels/Resistance do no wrong, it’s disingenuous and unrealistic to think that this is true. That’s not how war works. The prequels are proof enough that the Republic wasn’t perfect or glorious and considering the current political climate, I wish some people would break out the films again and watch them carefully. Palpatine took it over from within because it was already corrupt. If I lived in the GFFA I’d side eye anyone who wanted to make the Republic great again.

Now, though I have said it before, I’m going to say it again: you can enjoy a thing and still critique it without demonizing it. Love Star Wars all you want (I sure do, got my TRoS tickets for opening night the day they were made available), but maybe, just maybe if the public and the filmmakers could refrain from immediately conflating darkness and disability with evil, that would be great.

[theparanormalperiodical]

Scary Halloween Costumes: Your Guide To Realistic and Really Spooky Costumes (On A Budget)

“In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. 

In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it”

Set your stop watches people - we’ve got 11 days to prepare for the most wonderful time of the year: Halloween. 

And despite the cultural traditions echoing across the world, there is one phenomenon that dominates the rest.

Halloween costumes. 

It’s the personalised touch Christmas loses out on, and it's the one day of the year we can awaken our inner child.

And no, I don’t mean the therapeutic kind where you get in touch with your real, raw self. I mean the inner child that wants to pull on a Pennywise cosplay and eat an unrealistic amount of processed crap.

Working out your halloween costume requires thought and consideration. And then giving up on creating a latex prosthetic and slapping on a pair of cat ears. 

But at the Paranormal Periodical, we like to do things a bit different.

If you like things spooky and you’re a bit skint, pull up a chair - welcome to your complete guide to realistic halloween costume ideas!

Every year we see the classic costumes: a witch in a black hat; a vampire sporting a single drop of fake blood on the lip; and a zombie with a scrape of blood down one arm. 

I’ve decided to shake shit up. 

I’ve taken the most common costumes, and gone back to the roots of the creatures. Yep, I’m rewriting halloween, and putting scary back on the menu!

So, if you’re considering being a witch, vampire, zombie, or mermaid, here is your guide to the realistic costumes.

Let’s get spooky!

The Witch

It’s a classic.

It’s the go-to option for women, merely requiring a pointy hat you can grab from Claire’s, and the clothes from your goth phase when you were 14.

Add a smudge of black eyeshadow, practice a cackle, and boom.

You just got halloweened. 

But actual witches from way-back-when weren’t so Instagram.

In fact, they were considered the worst kind of women: hag-like, old, ugly, disgusting women. If you can think up a trope for a stereotypically ugly woman - which isn’t necessarily true, I mean, people rock unibrows every damn day - then put it in your costume.

Back in the 1640s, witches were considered poor, crone-like women. That’s a moustache, wrinkles, hairy brows, squinted eyes, and crooked teeth.

Also, they had teats! No, that’s nothing to do with their actual nipples, you won’t have to do anything to your own.

Basically, a point of ID for a witch was a devil’s mark - that’s scars, pimples, birthmarks - anything which symbolised their pact with the devil. Or, they had extra nipples which their animal sidekicks would suckle from.

Speaking of scars, if a witch pricked her finger, and it didn't bleed, the subject was a witch fo sho. And if they placed their hands on a dead body that they had killed, the body would start to bleed.

The final trademark fashion statement comes from one of the witch tests: dunking.

Aside from being stripped to her scanties, the witch’s thumb was tied to her big toe and a rope was cinched around her waist. She was chucked into a body of water - if she floated, she was a witch! If she sunk, she would die!

Yeah, it’s not a good test.

So, how does all that shizz translate to a costume?

Here’s how:

For the signature makeup, go with a heavy brow, and dark, eyelined eyes to perfect the squint.

Then, fake scar it up. I’m talking dots of red on your hands, maybe draw a pink circle on your face for a nipple, and slash a lipstick scratch up your arm.

Or, ditch the red dots on your hands for literal red hands - just like the blood pouring out of your victim’s body. It could be fake blood, it could be red nails, it could even be patches of dark reddy-brown!

Whatever it is, finish the look with the iconic style of a witch:

Follow up with the fashion twist on a black pointy hat, tie a rope around your waist to give shape to the look, and tie some wool or string around your fingers.

That’s right; accessorise your way to authenticity.

The Vampire

This is the unisex approach to halloween.

Couple of drips of fake blood, maybe an Edward Cullen inspired quiff - anything can be a costume if its teamed up with the im-100-years-old-but-look-17-so-its-not-creepy smoulder.

But there’s a lot more to the vampire phenomenon that didn’t make it into Nosferatu, nor Twilight.

Vampires were popularised in the 19th century, so most of their style inspo was based on Victorian vibes. But in terms of their bodies and faces, there are some striking features you need to know about:

Vampires were often regarded as have bloated faces and bodies, and ruddy looking skin; these are the supposed effects of blood drinking.

And this blood was also believed to seep out of the mouth - and the nose. But fangs? They were rarely reported.

These features from past vampire sightings have been typically debunked via two explanations: the disease, Poryphoria, a group of diseases which cause blistering and itching in sunlight, and the past’s lack of knowledge regarding decomposition.

So, fancy reworking your Edward Cullen into something a little less up-to-date?

Here’s what you need to do:

Take your fangs and fake blood stash from last year, and do the classic drip from the lip look.

But this time, smear a little under your nose, too. 

Speaking of facial features, it’s time to get ruddy - that means giving yourself a flushed look. So, grab some blush - reddy, pink tones, only - and go to town. I’d suggest a patchy look for the deathy vibes.

And make sure you leave your contouring kit in your make-up bag - aim for a bloated, round-faced look. Or, opt for loose clothes or something baby bump-esque to bloat out your half-dead body.

To finish the look, dab on some liquid latex and pull apart to give wrinkly, blistery skin in patches. You can even check out my tips for being a zombie to ensure you achieve the death you aim for!

The Zombie

In more recent years, this has become to go-to for quick costumes, thanks to show like The Walking Dead.

But it’s not the easy part of the look that I love, it’s this: a zombie is an inclusive halloween costume. 

Anyone can do it. 

You can pull out your FX make-up stash to show your skull’s skin peeling off and limb rotting, or simply pull a face and make a groaning noise.

You don’t even have to buy new clothes! Put on your usual get up, and stick your arms out like a Mummy.

#nailedit

But - if you’re asking me - achieving the realistic death look isn’t an expensive or difficult feat.

Zombies are supposed to be the undead; they’re infected and they’re decaying. 

So, let’s go through some of the features of slowly rotting corpses:

A few minutes into death - aside from going cold, and going pale - cells begin to die and leak as they breakdown. Couple hours after the beginning of that process, things start to get shitty...

Yep, piss and poop just start leaking out ya body.

Then, your skin starts to sag, leaving it pale with red patches. Then, that skin shrinks, making your hair and nails appear as if they are growing.

Following this, your skin turns green as you begin to digest your organs. Then bugs, like maggots, take part in consuming your body.

It’s not long before you turn purple, lose hair, and slowly become a skeleton.

And there you have it.

#decayed

Question is, how can achieve this look?

Settle in folks, and let’s get dead.

(Oh, and I can assume you don’t want to be a skeleton with purple skin draping on your bones; so let’s cut to the early effects!)

To get your undead chic on, here’s what’s on your to-do list:

For ya face, make things red and patchy with a dab of red lipstick smudged around your visage. Oh, and don’t forget to moisturise and highlight - think less leaking cells, more dewy finish.

A few patches of grotesque green will further the final look. You could even put gel on the ends of your hair to make it seem wet, or longer, and define your fingernails with brown eyeshadows.

Yep, start contouring your nails - let’s start a #trend. 

Ready to take things to the next level? Cut some gummy worms up, and latex ‘em to your face.

Et voila, ya ded. 

The Mermaid

Our final option is the current Insta-fave.

Joining the ranks of the pastel-aesthetic is the glittery, highlighted-on-fleek mermaid.

But why be pretty, when you can be pretty damn realistic?

Fact is, nothing is more realistic - and scary - than climate change. So, it follows that any mermaid will probably be struggling in the plastic-filled hot tub that is the ocean.

It’s time to swap the dewy, contoured fish finish for an actual mermaid. Or, well, a dead one.

Typically, a dead human who had been left in the ocean would have several zombie-like characteristics that would be exacerbated by the sea water.

Your body breaks down much more slowly in water, and salt water - like sea water - would slow the decaying process even more so. A body left in the ocean for 2 weeks will look the same as one left in open air for a week!

So, that’s the red, patchy, dewy finish we already discussed with zombies.

And instead of the pruning you get in a bubble bath, imagine blistering, black skin. Plus, that skin also becomes swollen, and bleached, giving you the bloated, patchy glow that you don’t see in The Little Mermaid.

Oh, and don’t forget your body!

Thanks to accumulating gases, the abdomen swells from bloating. 

Fun fact: this is what makes corpses turn upside down and rise with the torso and head at the water’s surface!

So, are you ready to get your mermaid on?

Swap your Ariel wig and beachy waves for patchy, red and green skin, and use latex to create blistered, wrinkled skin in patches.

Simply follow my tips for a go-to zombie look, and like, make it wetter.

Don’t forget to stuff a jumper down your shirt to puff out your abdomen - bonus points for farting out those gases filling out your torso.

Now, go get your fish on!

So: which supernatural being are you vibing with this All Hallows’ Eve?

And which of your past halloween costumes have you been most proud of?

(Mine was my Man-Spider costume from last year...)

[moonbeammuses-a]

// allllllllllrighty my friends. It’s time for me to talk about what Endgame means for my muses. 

This (long as sin) post, and all that follow it, will NOT be tagged so turn back now and unfollow me til you’ve seen the movie. 

Last chance. 

Okay, here we go

So my general “canon” for Tony is going to reframe the narrative of the movie (duh) to have him survive. He loses his right arm and the sight in his right eye in the process, but he SURVIVES. 

And of course, Shuri makes him a prosthetic limb that out-performs anything he could cook up in his “garage,” leaving him endlessly grateful. Shuri is amazing and you can all fight me. 

-cough- Anyway. 

There is another option I am only too happy to write: the canon ending. That’s right, I am willing to write that Tony died. Well what am I even gonna WRITE then, you ask? Hold your horses, I’m getting there. 

Yes, he dies. However, whether by his own hand or someone else’s, an Artificial Intelligence, made in his image, is activated. 

Y’all. That is an actual screenshot, and it is my favorite.  Yes, in the same vein as the Invincible Iron Man run of comics, Tony (or someone else) managed to create an AI of his consciousness. (if it is anyone other than Tony HIMSELF, then it is a close approximation but will have errors and incomplete date. don’t fight me on this, nobody else could get as close to a perfect copy of Tony Stark, as Tony Stark can.)

ANOTHER option I am willing to write, is that Tony didn’t get the gauntlet at ALL. 

But who stopped Thanos then? 

MOTHERFUCKING THOR, THAT’S WHO

Credits to @portraitoftheoddity and their post for the following idea and image.

Thor gets the glove, does the THIRD snap (because need i remind you that BRUCE successfully saved half the goddamn universe and so few people talk about it), and Thor not only saves the Earth from Thanos, but he trades Thanos and his army for Asgard. 

Thor’s snap restores Asgard. He restores ALL of it. Those killed by Thanos and his army, and those killed by Hela, as well as the PHYSICAL Asgard. Such a small number compared to Thanos’ snap, the restoration of a single place and its people, but still costs Thor an arm. (An arm that Shuri replaces because again, gotta give my fave genius girl credit ♥) 

And still, despite restoring the place and its people, Thor passes the mantle of leader to Brunhilde, the woman who has already BEEN leading Asgard. I’ll make a post on why I feel this was right at some point in the future if I ever feel up for it. 

And while we are talking about Thor, lemme say this: Fat Thor is not a bad thing. Fat is not a bad thing. If you see a person drawn, imagined, characterized as fat, and think that that’s an insult to the character, then what that is saying is that you think that fat is a bad thing, and that is YOUR internal issue to resolve. Thor was STILL fucking worthy to the hammer, and is still worthy to me, no matter his size. I will FIGHT for fat Thor. They made a fat superhero worthy of Mjolnir, capable of wielding two of the most powerful weapons in the universe AT THE SAME TIME, and y’all still wanna say that him being fat is a bad thing. Do I agree with everything they did with Thor? NO. Absolutely not. But I will FIGHT for a person’s right to be any goddamn shape and size they feel comfortable being, and for their right to mourn in whatever way they see fit and still be WORTHY of love, respect, and the power to fight for the things they love. 

Moving on. 

I will also be adding Morgan Stark to my blog! I love her so much and i want ALL the soft things between her and Tony. I would love to write her interacting with the other Avengers as well, and really anyone else. 

I am happy to write her as a child or a teen, but am hesitant to try and write her too far into the future simply because my mind has a hard time imagining the future, if that makes sense? It’s an odd thing about the way my mind works. I can’t conceive the setting, and that makes me hesitant to try and write in it. Too many unknowns about a roleplay setting give me this hard to describe anxiety, so I prefer established settings where the finer details are easily accessible, rather than feeling as though I need to mentally fill in all of the blanks.

I... think that about covers it! Feel free to come at me to talk about how any of my other characters would handle the snap, who would/wouldn’t survive it, what they’d be doing those 5 years, and anything else! I am happy to work out a plot for ALL of my characters, since this was a universe-wide event, and it’s not too far-fetched to think that in other fandoms universes, Thanos could have managed the snap off-world.

[your-fave-is-crippled]

Violet Evergarden from said series

is a cripple/crippled, supports cripplepunk and has prosthetic arms

image one: [id: a dark grey flag with a dusty rainbow going from the bottom left corner up to the right, dark grey circles on top one in the middle of the other and violet evergarden from the series violet evergarden in the middle of the image looking at the viewer with a hand touching the broach on her neck. :end id]

image two: [id: a flag with a grey border around 7 vertical stripes ranging from left to right as dark green, seafoam green, moss green, light green, pale pink, orange-red and red. on top of the flag is violet evergarden from the series violet evergarden in the middle of the image looking at the viewer with a hand touching the broach on her neck. :end id]

[gavillain]

So with the year about to close, I’m once again doing my annual Top Ten Villains of This Year list. My personal rule for doing this: these characters are judged solely on the merits of their 2018 appearances, and I’m not going to include any villain who has appeared on last year’s list (which you can read here), even if they would still make the cut. Also bear in mind that this is only from media that I actually saw/read/played this year, so forgive me if your favorite isn’t here because I might not have seen them. New December movies in particular slipped through my fingers.

List under the cut

10. Lotor (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Ever since Lotor first debuted, he's never been villainous enough for me. He's been positioned in villainous roles, but he never really did anything all that bad or evil. Season six, however, sees the true depth of his evil finally get revealed. His obsession with his Altean heritage and loathing of his Galra side is interesting from a psychological perspective, and his actions as the seemingly benevolent but truly vicious leader of the Altean refugees really highlight how truly sinister this guy was. He has quite a lot of blood on his hands all done to fuel his thirst for power. The final battle with him in the quintessence field was pretty cool too. I love seeing normally refined and restrained villains just totally lose it and go balls to the wall psycho and that's exactly what we got. We really finally got to see Lotor for who he was beneath all of the false masks he showed to Team Voltron and the audience, and, for that, I definitely consider him one of the year's best.

9. Barbara Kean (Gotham)

Gotham every year always has a great villain to highlight, and while I assume most Gotham fans are coming out of this year talking about the Valeska brother, I think Barbara Kean really showed her stuff this year. Barbara's had an interesting journey on the show, going from a bland love interest to a psycho ex-girlfriend to a Fish Mooney esque crime boss to this season becoming the heir of Ra's al Ghul himself. This year we saw Barbara Kean inherit Ra's al Ghul's mantel as the Demon's Head and assuming control over the League of Assassins. She proceeded to immediately put the sexist men in their place and established a lethal team of female assassins to serve her. It's fun to see Barbara taking on a new mantel and even being instrumental in taking down the original Ra's al Ghul when his schemes go too far. Her ultimately taking charge as the leader of the Gotham Sirens and declaring her turf a violently men-free-zone is a fun touch that I look forward to seeing get followed up in season five.

8. Magica DeSpell (DuckTales)

When I first heard that the DuckTales reboot was building up Magica DeSpell as some serious business Big Bad, I was definitely among those scratching my head. Magica had always just been a reoccurring funny villain with wacky hijinks rather than anyone who acted as a true Knight of Cerebus. However, 2017 DuckTales pulled it off and did so WONDERFULLY. Magica is not only a big serious villain and threat; she also maintains her same charismatic and funny personality. You see her manipulating Lena to giving up her body and unleashing ultimate darkness whilst still cracking jokes and going after Scrooge's number one dime. It's hard to balance genuine serious villainy with comedy, and it's a balancing act that the Disney villains of the 90s had down pat. And that's exactly what Magica feels like: a harkening back to that golden breed of Disney villains, and I hope to see her continue on in season two.

7. The Sanderson Sisters (Hocus Pocus: The All New Sequel)

This was the twenty-fifth anniversary of Hocus Pocus, and, to celebrate, Disney released a sequel novel that included both a novelization of the original film and an all new story set years later. The Sanderson Sisters are iconic and hilarious villains who have long been among my all time faves, so seeing them return in book form was a rare treat. This time, the Sandersons are scheming to bring all of the witches back from Hell to take over the world, and it's pretty scary reading Winnie's evil literally sending innocent people to Hell to exchange for evil witches. Mary also gets a solo musical number about her relationship with Winnie that's a lot of fun and sheds a new light on her character. It's operating at about the same level as A Twisted Tale in terms of quality so it's not hitting anything out of the ballpark, but seeing the Sandersons get treated to new content coinciding with their twenty-fifth anniversary is really fun and is worth their inclusion for sure.

6. Killmonger and Klaue (Black Panther)

The biggest movie of the year also gave us two of the very BEST villains of the year in the form of Killmonger and Klaue. Klaue, as portrayed by Andy Serkis, is naturally fun as a sinister and charismatic thief and arms dealer, filling sort of the "funny villain" quotient for the film. He's enjoyable and a treat to watch every time he's on screen. He's an evil white man who is raping African of its natural resources out of his sense of greed and entitlement. Killmonger compliments that nicely by being one of the deepest and most thought provoking character in the entire MCU. Killmonger is fun because not only is he sadistic and someone who enjoys bloodshed, he's also driven by righteous anger over the way that Wakanda has turned its back on black people globally. He has a desire to turn all of that around and remake the world. He may be cold and ruthless, but you can also see where he's coming from and that makes him all the more effective.

5. Salem (RWBY)

Salem, since her debut, has been a generic evily evil who eviled for some evil evil and never really had any texture at all besides being a vague evil. All of that changed this season of RWBY. We now know Salem and Ozpin's backstory. I was enthralled and mystified the entire time during their backstory. The animation, the story telling, everything was top notch. Salem is a woman who was cursed by immortality that hardened her into someone bitter and angry. She lost the man she loved once through death and then after his reincarnation, she lost him through his own fear of what she had become. She really feels like the type of character who is a tragic figure of myth at this point, and I loved how her motivation seems to stem from a bitterness at the gods and a desire to end the world that they created. Very fun for an arch-villain.

4. Red Goblin (The Amazing Spider-Man)

Dan Slott's decade long run as head writer of the Amazing Spider-Man came to an end earlier this year with a grand finale to end all grand finales: Norman Osborn, the Green Goblin, rediscovers Spider-Man's secret identity and bonds with the Carnage symbiote to form the Red Goblin. Now, on some level, I find that whole concept to be very fanwanky, but, on the other, it's REALLY fucking cool. Yeah, Spider-Man writers have a tendency to continuously try to tell the next great Norman Osborn story, and, while this doesn't really rank in my top five, it's a worthy effort. I appreciate how it shows off how vicious and relentless Norman is. Him just fire bombing random people on the street to get under Peter's skin in particular is one of those great twisted moments. I also liked seeing Norman corrupt his grandson Normie Osborn with the symbiote and getting a grandpa's little monster serving him. It's got that fun "he's an assassin and a hostage rolled into one effect. And, of course, the Red Goblin left a permanent mark on Spider-Man history by being the villain who murdered Flash Thompson, long time friend and ally of Peter.

3. Obake (Big Hero 6)

The Big Hero 6 TV show has been a slam dunk for Disney television. Bringing in the same creative minds behind Kim Possible, the show has a great "loving parody of he superhero genre" feel to it whilst still being an epic hero show in its own right, and six heroes are only as good as their villain. Voiced by Andrew Scott of Jim Moriarty fame, Obake is an evil genius mastermind who's always in control of a situation and always crafting diabolical and brilliant schemes. Obake is in many respects a dark image of what Hiro could become: a man who refuses to limit his brilliance by morals or familial ties. His brain has outright been damaged to where his conscience doesn't check him and this brain damage IS slowly killing him, but he accepts it as a reasonable price for his perspective free of morality. But in the end, his schemes were all that he had, and when he's defeated, he has no reason to live and effectively commits suicide after letting Baymax go. There's a really great tragedy to the way he ends up. And, on top of that, he's just a really interesting and charismatic villain with fun quirks, fun minions, and engaging schemes. Easily one of the very best villains to come out of Disney television. 2. Doctor Octopus (Spider-Man PS4)

One of the really smart features of Insomniac's Spider-Man game is that Octavius is actually not Doctor Octopus at all for the first half of the game. Octavius is Peter's friend and boss, and the two of them are working together on cybernetic appendages for prosthetic limbs that respond to the brain waves just like regular limbs. Octavius has a degenerative brain diseases that is causing him to slowly lose control of his motor functions. As such, when he thinks he has the solution, he's overly hasty to use it even though the cerebral interface has a dangerous impact on his personality and moods. It causes him to act upon his worth impulses, particularly his resentment and anger towards Norman Osborn. This turns him into the Doctor Octopus who we all know, much to Peter's sadness. Peter ends up struggling a lot in this game over whether Octavius is worth saving, and it tears him apart when they reach their climax. No spoilers, but it's POWERFUL writing and acting. I particularly like how this version of the characters takes a little from every single iteration of the character without ever feeling unfresh. He has that personal connection and tragic element of the Raimi Ock, he has the intelligent master criminal side of the comics version, he has a design that echoes the sort of "I may be an overweight nerd but I can still kick your ass" appeal of the Spectacular Spider-Man version, and yet they still find his own unique sweet spot of characterizations that perfectly blends with the Insomniac Spider-Man world. I particularly enjoy his use of the Sinister Six and how he gets them all under his control by using his intelligence to give them each what they want so that they're all in debt, but they all genuinely seem to enjoy and admire him. That's an excellent retelling of the Sinister Six that's far more interesting than just "We all hate Spider-Man so let's team up to fight him."

1. Venom (Venom)

This was honestly the biggest and weirdest surprise of the year for me. See, the whole idea of a Venom solo movie is a uniformly bad idea from basically the word "Go." Oh yes, let's do a movie about a villain whose entire character revolves around being a dark version of Spider-Man in a movie that completely omits Spider-Man so that the villain can be the protagonist. That won't backfire at all. Well, of course, it totally backfired into a complete mess, but it happened to create a mess that was entertaining and enjoyable and had an absolutely wonderful and fun take on the Venom character. This film leans hard into the romantic side of Eddie and the Venom symbiote's bond and sort of formats itself as a gay alien romcom. Eddie is a journalist who wants to be a hero through his reporting, but he pursues it at the expense of every meaningful relationship he has. Venom is the runt of his alien litter who on Earth suddenly finds himself as the big fish in a small pond, and he likes it that way. In Venom, Brock finds a relationship that allows him to indulge his savior complex that won't be destroyed by it, and in Brock, Venom finds someone who allows him to indulge his power trip and sense of narcissism. They complete one another. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, it's cheesy. No, it's NOT the Venom we know at all. But, yes, it's a fun and effective route to take the character in the absence of Spider-Man. The thing is that the reason why it's so fun is pretty much all Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy has a weird awful accent, but he also gives this weirdly camp performance that's just captivating and fun. It actually reminds me a bit of Jack Sparrow in a way in that it's so out there, you can't help but he enamored. The Venom symbiote has fun banter and chemistry with Hardy, and the humor is on point. You've got Venom eating gangsters as people around him under-react, and he just shrugs it off with a one-liner. It's that type of thing, and, honestly, I love it. Like when the movie is Tom Hardy and Venom being goofy murder bros together, it's fun and engaging. Eddie himself is definitely more hero than villain, but Venom absolutely counts as far as I’m concerned, even if he is restrained by Eddie’s moral code by the end of it. It's exactly the type of ridiculous villain protagonist fantasy that it needed to be, and even though Venom isn't the main antagonist of his story, he's still easily my favorite villain of 2018... I have no idea what that says about me XD

Also I have all three of Spider-Man's big archenemies on this list in the reverse order that I usually like them XD That's fun lol

[the-letter-horror-lover]

The Mouse

orphan_account

Summary:

"The mouse is scrawny, gray, and tailless." Joker finds a mouse. Years ago, Baron Kelvin found him. The story of a broken man, told in parallels. [Spoilers for the Circus Arc]

Notes:

Written for a deviantArt contest, under my username asel1. Maybe check this out on dA, give it a fave if you like it? I've got art, too. Writing's not really my forte, but I draw a lot.

Heads up, I was pretty tired by the last few paragraphs, so you may find them to be full of repeated ideas and synonyms.

Anywho, enjoy!

Work Text:

The mouse is scrawny, gray, and tailless. Now, Joker wouldn't consider himself a charitable person, but the creature is so pathetic he can't help but scoop it up and place it in a box lying around his tent. As Joker goes out in search of scraps from the evening meal, he wonders what prompted his sudden act of goodwill. He is aware that the world is cruel and letting nature take its course would have been best, but letting the creature die would have felt rather cold. Maybe the invalid mouse was a bit too much like himself, back when he'd suffered on the streets, armless, tiredly wishing for a savior. Joker chuckled. Or perhaps he was just getting soft. Joker enters the dining tent and grabs a few extra vegetables, a canteen of water, and, after a bit of thought, some cheese for good measure.

Rain poured out from the weeping sky, unaware of the misery it was bestowing upon four children of East End. The children huddled together beneath a tarp, seeking bodily warmth. Hunger and pain and cold shook their thin frames, and their eyes dully looked upon the cruel world beyond their temporary shelter. Their bodies appeared as lifeless as the city around them. Broken, deformed, frail children, they were, doomed to die. Then, out of nowhere, the sound of footsteps reaches their ears. Black shoes approach. A man. The man says something that goes unremembered, but what Joker does remember is the warmth that enclosed his body not long after.

After a few days, the mouse is in considerably better shape. It walks more steadily, thanks to a small, light prosthetic serving as a tail (which, in the wild, serves to stabilize and balance). It's gained weight and has learned to eat scraps out of Joker's hand. Joker's uncharacteristic devotion to the mouse doesn't go unnoticed, and he laughs at Beast's look of disgust and deplores Doll's—no, Freckle's request to pet the mouse. Yes, the mouse has definitely recovered. Though, Joker is at a loss for what to do with it. In the circus, you had to pull your own weight. Do chores, practice, perform. Even having a pet would be an unnecessary hassle, and Joker has already spent too much time dawdling with it as he nursed it back to health.

“I wonder...” Joker murmured. He knew many animals performed in circuses, though mice were hardly an exemplary example. He sighed and stretched. Ah well, there was nothing wrong with taking a break once in a while. Besides, Joker found spending time with the mouse strangely calming, therapeutic. And God knows Joker needs all the therapy he can get.

Heaven. This is heaven, the boy thought, walking along the mansion's railing. The man from the rainstorm had taken all four of them in and given them food, clothing, and a shelter from the streets. It was wonderful not being required to labor or do anything but recover from their struggle in East End. Kelvin, the man's name was. Kelvin. Their savior. Just when the children had given up on humanity—and themselves—the universe proved them wrong by sending them the embodiment of benevolence. Just yesterday their savior had promised them new prosthetics to replace their missing limbs. How the boy longed to hold on to all that was dear to him, protect the ones he loved, and serve his savior. All of his dreams were coming true. For the first time in his life, the boy smiled. Now the tragedy of his past could be left behind and he could be free to chase a brighter future.

The mouse effortlessly jumped through the hoop and snatched up the cheese Joker held at the other end. Freckles, his ever-present audience, clapped excitedly.

“Wow, that mouse's gettin' real good at these tricks,” she said. “If you had a giant magnifying glass or something, you could show 'er off at the circus!”

Joker grinned. “And take time away from you lovely folks? No way.” He stroked the mouse's back and signaled it to go through the hoop again. The act really was impressive. The mouse seemed to be really motivated in performing its tricks. Perhaps it was out of gratitude, or whatever understanding of gratitude a mouse could have.

Freckles stood up, leaning on the table. “It's amazing what you can do with some practice and hard work. You really are the best of us, Joker!” She smiled appreciatively.

“Well, the little creature does owe me after all. It's about time it started thanking me.” Joker smiled and shooed Freckles out before closing the entrance to his tent. Darkness had fallen, and he wanted to teach the mouse one more trick before retiring for the night.

The boy—no, a young man now—wasn't sure how long it had been since Father had taken him off the streets. He was living a privileged life and was very happy. However, Father's state of being was declining at a rapid rate. Father had taken to holing himself up in his room for quite a while as of late, occasionally going with little nourishment for days at a time. He refused all invitations to social gatherings, and recently his wife had left him. The young man was concerned for his savior's well-being, and so when he was called up to speak with the Baron, he went readily. He approached the door and knocked once, twice, before turning the knob. He entered the dark, barren room and bowed before the feet of the Baron Kelvin. He asked what he could do for his honorable Father. The Baron turned to gaze at him with shattered, bloodshot eyes and whispered a single name,

“Ciel Phantomhive.”

Joker gently pushed a piece of cheese towards the mouse, attempting to get it to eat, but to no avail. It squeaked and ran further down the table, away from Joker. Frowning, he pocketed the cheese. The mouse had refused to consume any food or water for two days now, and Joker was becoming concerned and rather irate. What had caused this sudden fast, he wasn't sure. If anything, the mouse should be hungry due to all the work it had to do, the tricks it had to learn. Joker sighed, picked up the mouse, and set it in its box. If the mouse wasn't in a cooperative mood, he might as well look over the circus practice that was currently taking place. Joker walked towards the main tent, welcoming the cool air of an oncoming winter. The circus grounds were empty and devoid of movement, all action taking place inside the large striped tent looming before him. As he entered the tent, Joker savored the tumultuous atmosphere surrounding his being. This was where he thrived, where he belonged. As he watched some second-stringers practicing their juggling, Joker couldn't help but wish that his mouse would also be as ardent in training again. Sure, mouse-training was just a side hobby for Joker, and unlike the second-stringers the mouse wasn't required to practice, but still. Even if training wasn't especially pleasant, the Joker did save the mouse's life. An exchange of services would certainly be nice.

After a few minutes of observation, Joker moodily went in search of Doctor. His prosthetic was aching again.

If Joker had been made of anything weaker, he would have collapsed long ago. He'd come up with the circus ruse himself, nicknaming his fellow “first-stringers” and coming up with various acts.

He was also the most ruthless, the most willing to serve his Father.

Father had changed from the philanthropist who had taken children off the streets. Now he had one obsession—Ciel Phantomhive. Joker didn't approve of it, but serving Father came first. And if Father was pleased, Joker needed little else.

Thus children mysteriously disappeared, whisked away to dreamland by masters of the night. And the Pied Piper, the Noah's Ark Circus, forged onwards through England.

A few weeks after the beginning of his nightmarish new life, Joker lay sickly upon his bed. He wasn't especially strong morally, but his heart weighed heavily in his chest and he wanted nothing but to fall asleep and enter the dreamland he had promised so many children. It was Snake who found him in this miserable state.

Are you ill? Says Goethe."

Joker said nothing. Nothing needed to be said.

“All of it has to be done. Says Emily.”

Nothing.

Snake remained standing at the foot of Joker's bed. In a neutral voice, he murmured, “Don't be distracted. Kidnapping the children is not a choice, it is a necessity. We're not bad people—we're good people trapped by circumstance. Father may not be seeing clearly, but that fact doesn't change his orders nor the fact that they must be fulfilled.” Snake lowered his head, gazing at the ground. “You're not the only one suffering here, Joker. The rest of us are going through the same hell as you. Go easy on yourself and the rest of us and don't think too much about what we do. If not for yourself, do it for the rest of us still at the workhouse.” Then, almost as an afterthought, he added, “says Webster.”

Joker watched Snake's receding back as the snake charmer left the tent. Really, for someone who says little for himself, the man's speech was eerily true. The rest of us, the ones at the workhouse. Who knows what Father would do to them if the Noah's Ark Circus went absent? Joker rose from the bed, blankets falling around him like a broken cocoon. Yes, for their sake, and his own, he would need to stay haughty, above it all. The workhouse children would only suffer if he weakened and broke from the weight of his sins.

Metamorphosis was over. Eyes cleared, Joker exited the tent and entered the night.

The mouse was becoming very adept at the tricks. With no hesitation, it now ran through the full routine even without the incentive of food. Abnormal behavior, but Joker wasn't about to complain. However, while the mouse completed its tricks perfectly, it lacked the exuberance it had had before. In fact, the creature could have been a machine for all the difference it made. It was somewhat saddening to Joker, seeing the mouse make such robotic movements each day. It jumped through the hoops and ran through the mazes and went through the motions of passing each obstacle Joker set before it, but that was all. Not a single wasted movement. The mouse was doing its job...but little else.

After months of kidnapping stray children off the streets, Joker was desensitized. The gore, the screaming children, the carnage he caused nearly every night (the knowing of what would happen to the children once they were delivered to Father) now bothered his steel heart little. It was ironic that he played the part of humorous host in the circus, for he also played the role of the most ruthless and cruel character in the sick story that was his life. A murderer by night; a “joker” by day, flashing empty smiles and speaking encouraging words that he did not believe in. Joker avoided thinking about what he was doing and the blood staining his hands. He simply went through the motions and never questioned the morality of the orders given to him.

He was a monster; a monster devoid of emotion.

Joker almost doesn't realize that the mouse has bit him. He'd been indifferently stroking its back when a sudden pain in his fingers had stunned him. Joker stared, dazed, at the blood gushing out of his fingers as the mouse scurried away, off the table and into the circus grounds. There was a lot of blood. The mouse had bitten him pretty deeply. Joker hissed and compressed the wound with his sleeve. He'd thought the mouse had lost all notions of rebellion—he had no idea the mouse would turn on its benefactor, its savior so suddenly.

Though, perhaps it wasn't so sudden. Deep down, all creatures harbor a lust for freedom. Some lose sight of that need for a while, but it never completely leaves. It stays, harboring in the back of their minds, scratching at the walls that sensibility and common sense raise up. The mouse had been reckless, leaving the safety of its savior to venture once again into the world outside, risking its life. An unwise move, yes, but maybe it was the right one.

A lust for freedom also dwelled in the back of Joker's mind, but Joker suppressed all feelings of insurrection. Unlike wild animals, Joker could weigh the risks of any future choices. Running away, towards blessed freedom, would only spell disaster later on. Not only for him, but for the other children, his family, still in the workhouses. No, it was better to bear with his situation, his hell, and keep his family safe. To Joker, living through hell each day was not a choice. It was essential.

The next day, Joker finds a mouse carcass in the main tent, crushed and mangled. With a snort of disgust, he picks it up and tosses it into the woods.

[thenerdcommander]

1 THRU 20 BINCH LETS GO

Aight y’all Imma do all of them because y’all are frens (...mutuals? XD)  but robotic is my new fave bc they didn’t ask me to do all the questions k thx byeeeee

1: which OC has the softest hair?

Valor Ryder.  S o f .  Boy uses some great conditioner I tell you what-

2: which OC spends the most time on their appearance?

Uhhhh........I’m going to have to go wiiiiiiiith Areza?  Girl got dem blue tiddies out for Fornax half the time but when she doesn’t she’s classy af and it’s hard and time consuming to maintain that “Hi, yes, I’m from Illium” look I bet.

Or maybe it’s Alister Shepard.  Hair like that doesn’t magically get that great overnight.

3: Prettiest eyes?

Either my main Ryder twins (Valor and Eola) or Paxus, imo

4: physically strongest/most fit?

Ruck’s defo the strongest, but the most fit depends on the type of fit you’re talking about.  Fit as in “they work out and buff af”, it’s Rexis.  If you mean fit as in “they have the endurance of a GOD”, then that’s between Miino, Astra, Malisana, and Inik.

5: What scars/birthmarks do your OC(s) have?

Mostly bullet scars.  Rex has one on his forearm where he was shanked by a Vorcha one time and some really faint ones from the surgical procedure he had for his implant.  Ivos has got several down the side of his face and over his cowl from wraith claws and other smaller ones from debris.  Saafre’s got some across her nose.  Nihko’s got a nice sized one down his forehead leading into a decent-sized chunk taken from his brow.  Ruck’s got those nasty burn scars all up and down his body (plus that missing limb).  Valor, Eola, Hikari, and Alecca all have facial scars.  Prior to Lazarus, Halli had one through her eyebrow.  And that’s all I can think of off the top of my head.  I’m pretty sure Inik has plenty of scars too though.

And birthmarks...I haven’t really thought about this?  Ever??  So idk.

6: Best Laugh?

Define “best”.  This is again something I haven’t really thought about so I’ll take some guesses.

If you’re talking attractive laughs: Sayat or Nilan, probably

Goofiest: Alecca, Nela, or Inik

Appealing to listen to: Miino, Sara, Valor, Rexis

7: Gives the best hugs?

Versae, hands down

8: Who is the most physically affectionate?

Also Versae

9: Who is the most adverse to being physically touched?

Nessine (which is honestly probably a good thing.  Don’t need her high on Thane 24/7).  Also Faelon.  Do not touch him unless he’s super comfortable with you (which basically means if you’re not Ceti, hands off).

10: Who is the fastest/most agile?

A s t r a .  And Inik.  And Mali in close third.

11: Which OC likes hot weather best?

Rex.  Give him an excuse to strip out of literally all his clothes pls.

12: Which OC likes cold weather best?

Yekaari and Versae.  Both grew up on Voeld and they love it.

13: What is your OC(s) favorite physical activity?

Astra and Mali both like dancing (as in, not the dirty kind...surprisingly), Miino likes climbing, Fae prefers swimming, Rex likes to lift (yes, even with as much as he likes to complain that the Blue Suns have him doing just that XD).  Ness’ fave is putting James in his place (pull-ups for daaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyssssss).  Just to name a few.

14: Tallest OC?

Ruck.  Ruckiroo’s about 7′6″.

15: Smallest OC?

Nela.  Whopping 4′11″, that one XD  Smol lesbean.

16: Which OC has a physical weakness/handicap?

Ruck’s missing his whole right arm and his prosthetic is CHEAP and breaks easy if that counts?  But he won’t replace it or get anything better because Mali got it for him and he is WEAK for her.

17: What does your OC(s) smell like?

W h i c h  o n e ?  I’ll just pick two I guess.

Faelon’s got a faintly sterile smell.  Not quite as in-your-face as the hospital smell, but it’s definitely clean.

Paxus smells kind of like oil and exactly what you’d expect it to smell like when someone tries to cover up oil smell with strong soap.

18: What positions does your OC(s) sleep in?

...comfy positions.  I have too many to answer this for all of them.

19: Does you OC(s) have any physical ticks/tells?

Again, which ones?

Astra’s are all in the eyes.  Rex’s are all in the mandibles and brow plates (he’s...weirdly expressive for a turian).  I’ll just leave it at those two since they’re my faves.

20: OC with the softest skin?

Valor, Eola, Miino, and Versae.  Angaran skincare products are A++++.  

Valor and Eola get theirs from Jaal.  Or...actually more like Liam gets them from Jaal and gives them to Eola XD  Valor gets his from the source tho.  And Cora approves.

[rocket-sith]

Trash: 1-16 lol

…okay, this serves me right for being a giant attention whore with these memes. lmao, you got me this time, Anon! (Also, Qs 3, 7, 8, and 14 have already been answered in some detail HERE.) 

1) name ur politically correct ship that no one ever questions - Mulder/Scully, Remus/Sirius (At least that second one wasn’t controversial when I was in the HP fandom. Maybe it’s got a band of self-righteous antis whining about it now because it’s exploitation of werewolves or some shit IDEK.) 

2) now name ur trash ship - Anakin/Obi-Wan

3) and ur really trashy im-going-to-hell ship - Vader/Aphra (this is really just a minor side-ship for me though. Most of the gourmet trash that’s sending me to hell is definitely Obikin related.) 

4) who is your cinnamon roll fave who everyone loves - Ahsoka Tano 

5) who is your sinnamon roll fave who everyone loves to hate/hates to love - VADER. Who else. 

6) who is your trash fave who is so problematic they probably have hate tumblrs dedicated to them - Hahahaha this would be Anakin. And he definitely has hate bloggers who bitch about “Anakin apologists” and whatnot. 

7) what is ur  guiltiest guilty fave fandom - Pokemon. Not even sorry. (I’m not into pokemon hentai or anything, it’s just a seriously dweeby fandom to admit to, even by dweeb standards. I feel like I need to go shove myself into my own locker right now.)

8) what is the fic you want to write/read but can’t because it is too full of Sin - The only honest answer I could give to this would be, like, “see attached sheets” with a 10 mile list of shit on it.

9) what is the most sinful fic you have ever read/written - I’ve read a lot of absurd shit in the “I dare you to click this link and read it” sense of the word, but sins are things you ENJOY, yes? Most deeply sinful fic I thoroughly enjoyed reading: “Negotiation” by @glare-gryphon . Biggest sinfic I’ve ever perpetrated myself: probably Capture and Release, not because the fic in itself is particularly sinful, but because I need to get my dirty ass to church for using Anakin’s traumatic past as an excuse for bondage shit. (It’s fully consensual bondage shit, and not even sexual, BUT STILL. Sin bin ahoy. I’m also a dirty sinner in the sloth department for failing to have any sort of writing/update schedule for any of my fics or for fic in general.) 

10) what is the worst thing you want to become canon (character death, trash-ship etc) - Obikin in the trash ship department. I know it won’t become canon, and I totally accept that, but I can dream. In the character death department - that little piece of shit Yoda did NOT deserve to peacefully die of old age after trying to fuck up a SECOND Skywalker with toxic Jedi dogma. I wanna see that fuckass little frog turd dismembered and tossed into Mustafar’s lava lake instead of Anakin.

11) what is your most sinful headcanon - Anakin loves getting tied up by Obi-Wan. Sometimes he likes getting tied up and fucked until he’s too exhausted to do anything or worry about anything or have any of his restless energy left because he burned it all off struggling and thrashing around, and sometimes he just likes to get tied up and stroked and loved so he’s got a safe place to let go, and sometimes he knows he needs to be tied up and fucked or loved or both, but he doesn’t quite know how to ask for it, so he acts like an obnoxious little jerk to try and goad Obi-Wan into it. Obi-Wan totally knows what Anakin’s doing and is actually pretty good at gauging Anakin’s mental and emotional state, both through the Force and through their regular, basic, human connection. Sometimes he’ll troll Anakin back if he thinks Anakin is just being an obnoxious pain in the ass for the purpose of being a pain, other times he’ll immediately give his friend/lover what he needs if he’s worried Anakin is coming apart, but variations on this situation are a very common occurrence. 

12) what is your cutest headcanon - When Artoo saw Anakin’s mechanical arm for the first time, he freaked out from pure joy. Not because his favorite organic buddy had been damaged, but because his BFF was part droid and it meant they had something else in common. Also, Anakin tinkers with Artoo as a means of stress relief, or just when Artoo wants attention or upgrades or whatever, and as a result, Anakin has inadvertently taught Artoo that mechanical tinkering is a method of friendly bonding and showing affection. Anakin tinkers with Artoo, and Artoo tinkers back, and this actually helped Anakin adjust to having the prosthetic limb. Then when Luke gets a mechanical hand all those years later, the same thing plays out. 

13) what is your heart-breakingist head canon - Why the hell would I want or need heartbreaking headcanons when there’s already so much heartbreak in canon?! (Especially Harry Potter and Star Wars, FFS!) I honestly try to avoid those TBH because ouchies. 

14) what is ur crackiest crack ship - I don’t think I really have any particularly cracky ships? Vader/Aphra is probably the closest, but I don’t think that’s crack so much as just a rare pair since Aphra isn’t a mainstream character who’s shown up in the movies or animated cartoons.  

15) what is ur marginally less cracky crack ship - See above.

16) what is ur favourite ridiculous au - Someone submitted “pokemon trainer AU” as one of the possible prompts for Obikin week. It didn’t win the vote to be one of the prompts, but I think the idea is hilarious, just the whole concept of Star Wars characters as Pokemon trainers.