#your actions have affected your purity
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libraford · 16 days ago
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I'm not bothered by the conversation so much as I am a growing approach to activism which makes it impossible to interact with other people. Which echoes a lot of that conversation I had with Ginger this week.
He refuses to have friends that are not faithful to Jesus. Like, he can have a productive conversation with a non-believer and nearly connect with them socially, but if he learns that they don't go to church or don't believe in christ, he finds it difficult to take them seriously because their words were not god-inspired.
Ginger was in a cult. I do not mean this colloquially- Xenos/Dwell is a prominent pseudo-christian cult in central Ohio that preys on college students in need of community. There are rules about who you can date, who you can hang with, they practice gay coversion therapy, and will tell you not to visit your family if they're not Christian.
There is a lot of focus on purity. Actions, thoughts, social groups- it's very controlling about what you can and cannot do.
So. When he goes out into the world with us sinners, it becomes difficult to interact with general society.
We were talking about Merve, one of our foremen, and I said: "the first time I was in a car with Merve, he introduced himself as a Democratic Catholic Pervert. And honestly- yeah that's a good summation."
Ginger didn't like that at all. "Well he's not a very good catholic with all that talk of pornography, he should be ashamed of himself- honestly shouldn't even call himself Christian."
Merve is very much a womanizer, but it's all talk. He's gross about it sometimes and it rubs me the wrong way, but in all fairness- he warned me. Outside of that, he's what I expected from a 60-something landscaper.
"Well, I think whether he's a good Christian or not is up to God, not us."
And he got a little pissy over that comment because I caught him judging.
He only hangs out with 'the faithful' at work, which consists of three guys who are religious in a similar way and it's caused a bit of a rift in the culture. It's gotten a little... preachy. It wasn't preachy before.
So I am making... parallels to this behavior and a particular strain of activism that's been affected by purity culture.
Nothing is ever good enough. If it touches racism, it's banned forever and you have to spread the word about how it's racist. Where doing things that are well-intended puts you in the spotlight for the underlying and actually bigoted reason you're doing a nice thing. And prevents you from doing the nice thing in the future.
Because yes you did a nice thing, but it wasn't enough- you could be doing more.
Yes you did a nice thing, but you did this nice thing instead of tackling this bigger issue.
Yes you did a nice thing, but it was through this program that you didn't know was funded somewhat unethically.
Yes you did a nice thing, but your motivation for doing it wasn't the goodness of your heart, it was motivated by guilt.
Yes you did a nice thing, but it took a horrible event to do it when you should have had the morals of goodness ingrained in you and you should have done this from the start.
Yes you did a nice thing, but you only did it when it started impacting your life and you should be thinking of others first.
Yes you did a nice thing but the nice thing doesn't align perfectly with my worldview.
The goalpost is forever moving backwards.
No one likes to be called 'racist.' It's a really easy weapon to use when something does something you don't like. If you look at anything closely enough, you will see it's racist roots. You could say the same for misogyny, homophobia. Our society is built on hatred and inequality. Untangling it and living a morally pure life free of ridicule is impossible.
Recognizing the roots of an action to be bigoted is the first step. The second step is knowing it when you see it. Step three is pointing it out.
But there are more steps.
Pointing it out, or calling it out, and chastising someone for ignoring or not knowing something actually isn't all that helpful. Because it leaves you to wonder- okay, now what? What can I do to remedy this situation?
Which is the next step- actionable items. Yes, I have done something wrong- I am sorry.
I am sorry. Now I will try to make it right.
I will try to make it right by donating, by volunteering time, by listening to the people who have been hurt and lifting their voices.
Part of healing from an oppressive Christian community is realizing that people are going to sin whether you like it or not. And barring harm to themselves and others, you're gonna have to let them.
If my tarot practice is derived from a 15th century racist, then it was derived for a 15th century racist. Refusing to participate in a past-time that helps me connect with my family doesn't make it not racist. It will still be racist. But I'm not sure who it's hurting in 2024 and I don't have a time machine and I'm not being given clear instructions for how to unracist it.
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anantaru · 1 month ago
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⚝ DAY 4 — BODY WORSHIP
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kinktober 2024. — masterlist | ao3
— including. — xiao, heizou
— warnings. — fem! reader, oral (fem! receiving), they're obsessed with you, praising and pussy drunk men
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⚝ — XIAO
xiao was never one for indulgence—yet, there he was, on top of you with his lips ghosting over your skin, murmuring ancient mantras underneath his breath.
you gasp, each kiss he pressed upon you was meant to "cleanse", that's what he told you, to purge the lingering traces of darkness that dared to cling to your beautiful being— although as his mouth traveled from your shoulder to the curve of your collarbone, his actions became more than just protective— they became slightly possessive.
xiao could feel your pulse quicken beneath his lips, especially when he lapped all the way down to your warmth but stopped right above your clit and fuck, it only spurred him on to do the next following, as much as sinful notion.
his hands, usually so disciplined, traced the delicate lines of your body with a searing touch as they settle on your thighs so he could leisurely place his head between your thighs.
every inch of you called to him, like a magnet for his affection, and he couldn’t stop, fuck he couldn't— just couldn't stop and seeing your cunt all sopping and wet of your own liquids made it hard to process all of this.
"i need to rid you of this," he whispered and you could swear you saw a slight smirk, in fact, it sounded like an excuse, his lips brushing over your folds as if he was addicted to the feeling, "you deserve to be free from harm."
before you could even moan at the way his words are impacting you, your arousal drips at his tongue and cheeks and leaves a mess for him to clean up. his mouth rotates between kissing your clit before his lips eagerly curve around the sensitive pearl as he sucks and nudges his tongue along the twitching spot.
you were the embodiment of purity in xiao's eyes and he couldn’t help but worship you for it.
it’s divine— your taste, and he licks at you, laps and slurps every droplet of your messy slick until your fingers relentlessly grabbed at his roots as your folds quiver, your hole clenching and fluttering around air.
xiao couldn’t stop. he didn’t want to. you were his sanctuary, and every caress, every kiss, every lick and taste only anchored him further to you.
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⚝ — HEIZOU
heizou had always been a playful soul and you loved that about him— next to that, you were his favorite puzzle to solve.
leisurely, his fingers danced over your skin with the kind of dexterity that only a detective could have, exploring every inch with the curiosity of someone eager to learn and most importantly, please.
but it wasn’t an investigation driving him tonight— it was sheer delight.
"mm, what’s this?" he teases and furrows his brows, his lips quirking into a smile as he pressed his leaky tip against your slit, watching you squirm effortlessly under his sensual touch.
for some reason— which was actually pretty obvious as though why he was so good at it, heizou had an unparalleled knack for finding every sensitive spot, every place that made you gasp or sigh, most definitely cry out his name.
the detective adored seeing the way you reacted to him, to his cock nestling in your pussy and pulsing through your walls, wrecking havoc when he moves it in and out, slow at first, then rocks it harder and messier until you couldn’t help but arch your body and grind your hips back into him.
you were his to explore, and oh, he took his time, don't you worry about that one— heizou had no need to rush, he could tease you for hours because you see, you were his canvas, and he would paint you with every stroke of his movements and cum.
"you’re far too fun to resist," he smirks, lips ghosting along your collarbones before he buries his face into your neck, groaning like a mad man when he slowly pulls himself into your warmth so your walls could stroke him, welcome and squeeze at his shaft, twist around him until your liquids collide.
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©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify
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desireangel · 2 months ago
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Dark Cherry [3] | Aemond Targaryen
Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader
Summary: after months of a marriage that hardly harbours the passion that you'd dreamed about, you stumble across the reason for your husband's indifference and decide enough is enough. Aemond will learn just exactly what he's been missing out on.
Word Count: 6.9k
Warnings: MDNI 18+!! smut, angst!!!!!!, unedited, infidelity, revenge cheating, oral (m receiving), kinda slightttt dub con if you squint w/ Aegon x reader, Aemond is frustrating, so is reader tbh, slight deviation from canon? again, if you squint, soft!aemond if you also squint. But also---angry Aemond (rahhhhhh), tell me if I've missed any warnings!
Author's note: my APOLOGIES on the wait, y'all. Hopefully this scratches an itch!! it's 11PM here, which is the earliest I've ever posted a fic funnily enough. I also reallyyyyy appreciate the love on this series so far!!! Love you all. As always, please don't hesitate to comment or to interact or hmu in my inbox w/ me bc I LOVE yapping with you guys. Send in feedback or criticism (but like I'll cry if it's super mean) or some headcannons!! or even your best dad joke. Anyways, xoxo kisses!!! <3
Masterlist
Aemond Targaryen was an intelligent man. Yet for some reason, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had been acting as the realm’s largest imbecile. 
Time and time again, Aemond had let his ego and his pride run ahead of his brain, and had failed to think of the effect that his actions had on people other than himself. Sure, he cared for those who were important to him. His sister, his mother, his grandfather, Ser Cole, Aegon (although Aemond may not have realised it) and even to some extent his wife. 
He realised, perhaps too late, that you may as well be a stranger to him. And at one point, Aemond had truly believed that keeping whatever unlucky woman he was to wed at arms length would be for the best. 
The first time he met you was insignificant. It was as per tradition and formality. Aemond’s interactions up until the wedding was mainly with your family, despite the efforts you made to acquaint yourself with him properly. You were much more timid then, shyer than Aemond had expected from the to-be wife of a weaponised prince. But then again, he had only assumed that a Lady like his mother would have been chosen for him; confident, cunning and strong-headed. 
At the time he had begun to understand you better, Aemond had lost track of himself. A sort of descent into darkness where he went from a young prince to a man, eager to prove himself at whatever cost. Satisfied by the control he gained through fear, strength and reputation. Now that he had stopped to think about his marriage, after you had left him hard and desperate in his own bed, Aemond came to realise a few things. 
You were a purity among the wickedness and politics of the Red Keep. An inherently good person and a woman of grace, kindness and compassion. He had already noticed the dwindling of those traits brought on by your new life, confined to the walls of a fortress that was littered with deceit, distrust and gore. Aemond was a far darker entity than you–he had accepted this fact after the first true conversation you shared. 
Corrupting you was both tempting and terrifying. Aemond had always been loveless–deprived of the affection he craved and deserved but also clueless about how to give that affection. And while he wished he could learn how to right himself and how to quell the carelessness of his temperament and the destruction that was left in its wake, Aemond didn’t know how to. 
Perhaps it would come naturally. He was a lot more open to that notion now, despite the fact that most of him was convinced he was incapable of such change. 
Aemond regretted–something he didn’t feel often–how he had pushed you away. Even if he had not intended to. 
Because now, he was starting to see you as you were. A woman who had far more of an influence over his emotions than he realised–a woman who he had begun to crave the affections of in such an intensity that it only served to scare him away from you. At one stage, you had been another stranger among the walls of his home bound to him in nothing but title but, at some point throughout this ridiculous game that he had stupidly encouraged, Aemond had started to see you as his wife. 
The whore that he had let into his bed was not actually a whore. It was a woman Aemond had known–a witch whom he had shared the pleasures of his body with before the two of you had wed. Alys was always eager for him and once, he would have returned it with his own enthusiasm. Not anymore. She was simply an easier option. A whore would never sully the sanctity of his chambers. It wouldn’t have made a difference if he had been honest and told you that Alys was not from the Street of Silk. 
To anyone who came asking, including you, Aemond would first admit to taking a whore into his bed than a lowly witch.
He cursed himself for letting his honour fall so short that this is what it took for him to wake up. For him to have tainted his loyalty to you, to have let a woman whom he could barely get it up for shatter the confines of his marriage, for him to have been left unwound with a hard cock, his hand and only the scent of you on his thigh to release the tension that was driving him mad. 
Aemond wished he hadn’t been so short sighted. He would subject himself to whatever punishment he deserved should it be the burn of a whip against his back or the sickening ache of starvation if you were to demand it. 
All of a sudden, in the days that had passed since your encounter on his bed, Aemond found himself looking for you throughout his day. He hoped you’d cross each other in the halls, cursed the world for keeping him too busy to spend an afternoon with you in the gardens, sworn at the war that was raging for binding him to his duties and keeping you apart. 
So at the first opportunity he had to take time for himself and for the first time in your short marriage, Aemond had called upon you to join him for afternoon tea.You stared at the young servant who had been sent to retrieve you, half wondering if you had heard the boy incorrectly. Had he called you simply one moon ago, you would have dropped everything you were doing to meet your husband for tea with a grin and a skip in your step at the prospect of finally spending time with him on his own accord. 
But now? It both excited you and infuriated you. 
You gave the boy a soft smile, holding your reserve together when his face dropped at your refusal. “You may tell my husband that I am otherwise attended to for my tea.”
It wasn’t a lie. You had important plans for the afternoon with the other Targaryen son. 
The servant stood still for a moment. “Yes, my Lady.”
“The rest of my afternoon is already engaged with the King,” you purposefully added, a mixture of adrenaline and excitement beginning to simmer in your belly. “Tell him I will take tea with him another time.”
You were walking away from your chambers before the servant had turned to leave. A part of you felt bad for him. Anyone would be wary of delivering rejection to a prince. It felt as if you were sending him to his death in a way, knowing that the seemingly innocent excuse was balancing on a wire that was already frayed. If the young servant had known of your sly plan for revenge, he would have spoiled his breeches. 
There was a chance Aemond would catch on straight away. There was a chance that he would take a little longer. 
Either way, so long as he caught on, everything would unfold in your favor.
Aegon had been waiting for you, a mischievous smile on his lips at the sight of you eagerly rushing towards him. He was an immature and distracted King, and he was definitely not without his flaws, but he had never been bad to you. Sometimes, you even appreciated Aegon’s efforts to involve you in conversation or to pull a smile out of you when you had clearly been distressed. Nonetheless, he was still an infuriating cad and you had often considered giving in to violent urges at the way he treated Helaena. 
Helaena. 
A stab of guilt in your gut at the thought of her. Sure, she had confided in you on numerous occasions and you knew she felt little care for Aegon’s outwards ventures with women but you knew she was saddened by the state of her marriage. And here you were, as wretched as the whore that Aemond had bedded. It was no different; you were doing the same thing as her. Only it wasn’t your job; you weren’t doing it for the money. 
The satisfaction of bringing Aemond down to the same level he had brought you to was all the motivation you needed. It would be treading a thin line but it would be worth it. 
“I had wondered how long it would take you to find yourself in my chambers, Princess,” Aegon’s voice held that boyish shrill he had never grown out of. The way he had stepped aside to let you pass, eyes holding yours through his lashes as he dipped his head with a grin. “For a cup of tea, of course.”
Comparing Aegon’s chambers to Aemond’s was instinctual. It was brighter here, messier and there was an unkempt feel to the furniture despite the servant’s having kept things relatively put together. A King’s chambers, it was; grand and large and adorned with all sorts of artistry. Aemond’s chambers had held a darker tone; presumably because Aemond was sensitive to light on his blind eye and somehow even the glow of light from the lamps were deeper and warmer. 
You liked Aemond’s chambers better. 
“It has been overdue, Your Grace,” you weren’t sure of that. “Thank you for indulging me this afternoon. I wager a King such as yourself is no short of duties to tend to.” 
Aegon scoffed, pouring himself a cup of wine as he watched you take a seat at the small settee from the corner of his eye. “My family seems to be taking care of my duties on my behalf. I am a king in nought but title, you see.”
There was nothing you could say at his unbridled honesty. Aegon was different to most of the people who presided here in that way. He cared little to hide behind a facade of false indifference and stoicism. 
He fell to the cushion beside you, close enough so you could smell the drink he balanced in his hand. Aegon laid back lazily, resting on his elbows and watching you as you sat pin-straight and brought the piping tea to your lips. “‘Tis not a concern. I would much prefer to have more comely company than those clueless cunts who sit on my counsel.”
“I do not doubt that, Your Grace,” you coughed lightly, growing alarmingly aware of the fact that you hadn’t thought about how this was going to play out. There was absolutely nothing that you knew about seducing a king. No less, a king with Aegon’s track record. “I beli-”
“You have been different,” He cut you off. Swiftly pushing himself up so that his face was beside yours, breath tickling the strands of your hair that had fallen loose across your cheek. Aegon’s lips were gently turned up as his eyes traced every curve of your face. 
Swallowing thickly, you will yourself to meet his eye with confidence. The curiosity in his familiar violet eyes was paired with an immature lust and you wondered if he had any idea how easy it could be to use his forward thinking cock against him were you a woman of cunning ambitions. You didn’t miss how his gaze flickered across your throat and towards the curve of your chest. 
But something in the way that Aegon looked at you in that moment, like you were a woman of such beauty that he would risk whatever consequences were sent his way just to feel your touch sent a slither of saddened longing across your chest. Not even your husband had made you feel as if you were so captivating. 
It made the knowledge of how ever long you’d be alone with him far easier to stomach.
“I do not know of what you mean, Your Grace.”
Aegon laughed, bringing his face so close to yours that the point of his nose touched against your cheek. His hand fell to rest flat just above your belly, brazenly close to where your dress tucked underneath the curve of your breasts. 
“I know well when a Lady is not…” he dragged his nose across your soft skin, eyes carefully watching your reaction. “Sufficiently satisfied by her husband.”
Your breath hitched at how quickly Aegon had set his target. “If you mean to-”
“Does my dear brother forego his duties for the comfort of whores, perhaps?”
Pursing your lips, you gently turned your face so that your lips were centimetres away from his, Aegon’s fringe brushing across your forehead. There was a ringing in your ears, a nervousness about how you were so close to betraying your husband and how you were unsure that you could handle the fallout of what was definitely about to happen. Things are much different for women; infidelity and adultery would be grounds for far worse than simply an annulment. This world was not so kind to a lady who partakes in the same treachery as a lord.
Above all, you were conflicted.
“It seems my husband is no different to any other man who does not hunger for his wife.”
“I hunger for his wife,” Aegon all but moaned at the way your lips nudged closer to his. He cocked his head to the side and pressed his fingers into your flesh. “But I am no fool, my Lady. Aemond has always been the sole object of your gaze. You are here for more sinister reasons, I suspect.”
You blinked. Why did these Targaryen princes so often seem to be one step ahead?
It was a relief that he had not moved away from your closeness. In fact, Aegon leaned further into it. His smile never faltered and he waited patiently for you, watching as you thought of your next moves. There was a flush of embarrassment that prettied your skin and it was clear that your facade was close to crumbling. Aegon was not a man you desired in such a way. Merely a means to an end. 
So you sighed, resigning to the fact that being honest with Aegon would be best. 
“You are right,” you muttered. He shook with a silent laugh at your bravery and the way your chin remained turned up. “I-I believe you are aware of my intentions, Your Grace. Will you have me dragged back to Prince Aemond’s feet or will you allow my scheme?”
Aegon was in front of you in a matter of seconds, bending down so that he met your height as you stayed seated. “I would risk meeting the wrath of a man whose temperament and pride are unchained.”
“Teach me how to make it worth it then, my King,” you held strong in forcing the tremble out of your voice. You didn’t want to bed him entirely–absolutely not. Just what you had seen through the gap in Aemond’s door would be more than enough and there was a bubbling gratification in your stomach knowing that Aemond would not be able handle what he had so easily served out. 
His hand held the back of your neck and he jerked forward to catch your lips, grunting when you turned your head from him. You couldn’t kiss him. You weren’t interested in kissing him–only fulfilling the steady thrum of excitement at the need to both experience what you had been teased with and show your husband that he should be sorry. 
In fact, and you were loathsome to even rationalise it, you felt sick at the thought of kissing him. And you felt a little drop in your gut at the thought of taking him in any kind of way but it was different. Less frightening than kissing a man you were trying so hard to convince yourself was sexy enough.
There was no man for your body’s desires aside from Aemond Targaryen-–
A deep breath and you looked at Aegon through your lashes, bringing your fingers to feel the softness of his lips. “I do not want you to fuck me, Your Grace. But show me how I may give you pleasure with my mouth. And how a man can satisfy me with his.”
Aegon became excited at your use of such foul language, his hand remaining behind your neck as he straightened and guided you roughly to his hips, groaning as your hands instinctively found his thighs and moved upwards. He was painfully hard in his breeches–he had been since the first moment you looked at him with that stubborn intent and purpose. 
There was a strong urge to push him away but you fought through it. 
“I am sure your husband is already searching for his brazen little vixen,” Aegon watched as you breathed heavily, your chest heaving and your soft breasts pressing against the tightly laced corset of your dress. “And I am sure you wish for him to find us. Very cunning of you, I must say.” 
His touch didn’t pull that feeling from you. The feeling of Aemond’s touch that had made you feel as if you were floating in lava and drowning in a molten heat that could only be quelled by him. But it made your blood rush down, growing sensitive between your thighs at the prospect of pleasuring a man who openly lusted for you and had no care for hiding it. 
Aegon didn’t care for games that shattered your self-worth. He didn’t care to make you feel lesser than a whore for your curiosity of how it felt to have a man tremble from your mouth. All he wanted was to feed his appetite for you–the beautiful Lady who he had envied his brother for having to himself.
“I want to learn how to do it,” you whispered, melting into Aegon’s guidance as he hastily fiddled with the embellishments on his tunic to undo half of it and push the velvet fabric out of the way. The laced belt at his waist was discarded in seconds and you took little time to pull him out of the confines of his breeches. “So I can–so I can show him.”
There was a certain light headed nervousness that you felt when you realised that you don’t actually know how to do what you wished to. It seemed easy enough when you watched how that woman had given Aemond her mouth but now that you were faced with trying it out yourself, you worried how you would fare. Aegon triggered a natural response from you, one that you had learned was instinctual of human bodies, but you just could not find him desirable. 
Momentarily, you doubted you could find it in you to disregard your aversion to the King. An aversion that suddenly became more pressing an issue than it was merely seconds ago.
Aegon must have noticed your apprehension because he guided you forward, the hardened length of his cock brushing against your face. He was breathing heavily when he spoke. “Lick it. Use your tongue first and then-fuck, that’s right-” you hesitantly followed his instructions, dragging the tip of your tongue across the sides of him, gentle flicks down to the base and then a long stripe up to the top. It was an invigorating thrill when you felt him throb against your mouth. His hips jerked when you hesitantly wrapped your lips around him. 
It was slightly uncomfortable but it was not a bad feeling. Aegon tasted musky and salty, and a little bit sweaty. You took a moment to find the best way to stop your teeth from grazing against him and started to move along him, watching as he threw his head back, eyes shut tightly. 
The image of your husband stayed ingrained in your head. Would Aemond taste the same? Would he feel the same on your tongue? Would his cock react to you in such a way? Would you enjoy taking him in your mouth more than whatever this was?
Shamefully or not, you let yourself pretend that Aegon was not the man standing above you. That it was Aemond instead, enjoying what you were keen to give him and praising you for being so eager to taste him. 
You wished so hard that it was Aemond instead, that for a moment, when you gazed upwards it was him looking down at you with his hair falling perfectly and his eyepatch discarded. Alas, it was King Aegon, who revelled in staring at you with an amusement coupled with bliss that only felt belittling. 
It did set your body into a light rush of arousal but you couldn’t stop the doubts that flooded your mind. Were you dishonouring the sanctity of your body out of spite? Were you betraying the man you almost loved just to have a jab at him? Guilty tickles grew in your ribcage but you distracted yourself from it, focusing on the way that Aegon steered your movements. 
“Shit,” he hissed. Aegon’s hand found the back of your head and he adjusted your pace how he preferred. “Use your hand. What doesn’t fit–hold it.”
It became slightly easier once you found your rhythm, following each instruction that Aegon gave, drinking in the way his thigh trembled under your hand that rested against it, holding yourself stable as you hollowed your cheeks. Whatever you did, it almost came naturally and Aegon seemed to be enjoying it far more than you had expected. 
But it quickly became too much–Aegon started thrusting in a way that didn’t match your movements and you gagged, eyes burning at the ache of him hitting the top of your throat. You made a noise, pulling off and gasping for air, whining as he tugged your mouth back to him and chuckling. Lungs burning, you tried to meet whatever pace Aegon was moving at in an attempt to make things more comfortable. 
You reminded yourself of why you were here. The image of Aemond, head thrown back and groans slipping past his lips as he let that woman take him in his mouth. The image of Aemond, head buried between her legs, the skin on his chin glistening as he smirked at you while pleasure another woman. 
The feeling when your courtly acquaintances who you once thought of as friends would slyly belittle you for failing to give your husband an heir, belittling you because word of his infidelity had reached their gossiping mouths, belittling you because the Prince who they loathed you for having was hardly yours after all. The looks that they had given you, the way that they snickered and sneered at your failures as his wife. Whispers you had overheard from Lords alike; that for such a pretty thing, you must have been dreadfully dull in the ways of pleasure if Prince Aemond of all men had resorted to whores. 
That was how they all saw you; a failure. Because it was never a man’s fault but always his wife’s. 
You loathe to think that Aemond harboured the same thoughts. But you would show him how mistaken he was and make him feel what you had felt so that he would regret it all. 
“Fuck-” Aegon let out a drawn out groan as he pushed your head down, pushing himself as far down your throat as he could. You struggled to breath and you gagged twice but let him move you as he pleased, a satisfactory moan vibrating against his sensitive skin when he threw his head back and grumbled about spilling himself down your throat. 
It was a chaotic moment. 
The protest of the kingsguard through the wall and the bang of the door slamming open and you didn’t even need to turn and look. Aemond was seething, barely given the chance to put the pieces together before Aegon simultaneously groaned and laughed, the salty taste of his seed gliding past a sensitive part of your throat and pulling another gag from you as you yanked yourself away from Aegon. 
Everything seemed to pause for a moment. And despite the obnoxious laughter coming from the King as he tucked himself back into his breeches, the heavy breathing of your husband and your gasps for air, everything felt silent. 
Your blood ran hot at the way Aemond looked between you and Aegon. Nonetheless you met his eye, holding your chin up and wiping a bead of Aegon’s peak from your lip. 
It felt good. Watching as Aemond forced himself back into his stoic resolve; only bothering to subdue the way his eye filled with the same betrayal you still felt in your gut at the thought of the whore who had been on her knees for him in an almost identical way. 
Stoicism and slow, simmering, silent rage. 
The air around you turned hot enough to light a candle. Aemond’s presence alone had proven to be enough to send you spiralling from the heat he encased you in whenever he was in the same room but this? You were choking, sick to your stomach and doing your best to keep your knees from buckling at his intensity. 
Aemond heard Aegon ramble out some hideous insult, watched how you frowned at him and heard the echoes of his cackle. But the ringing in his ears overwhelmed it all and he had no clue what his brother had taunted him with before his fist met Aegon’s cheek with a loud crack.
He didn’t bother sparing his brother a second glance. Aemond was stood in front of you and despite his obvious anger, he pulled you up from where you were seated with a gentleness which had your mind reeling. 
There was a threat hidden in his voice. “Come with me. Now.”
Perhaps you had made a mistake. The gentle fury in Aemond was terrifying and even though you knew he would never raise a hand at you the way he thoughtlessly did at Aegon, there were so many ways that a Prince could ruin you. 
You felt a pit of regret now that it was over and the curtain of lust had lifted. It was easy to see how simple it is to get lost in the touch of another but it was easier to see how simple it is to avoid it. 
There was satisfaction. And you felt it simultaneously with the adrenaline of being caught and the doubts of your actions. Princes and Princesses and Kings and Queens were so unaware of their hypocrisy until it was spat back into their faces. 
Aemond would never in a million years have understood what he was doing to you if you had just been a submissive little wife and forgiven him. But now? Now he would know. And now things would be balanced and your desire to hurt him as he had done you has been fulfilled. And now you could see how this marriage would really stand against such tests.
And now, you may finally know whether Aemond truly did not care for you. Because if Aemond did not care for you–or even in part; love you–then he would not be hurt and he would not be feeling such betrayal.
Right now, as Aemond silently walked you towards his chambers, hands fisted, jaw clenched tightly and his gaze fixed ahead, you were fearful of how things would fare. As strong as you wished for your resolve to stay, Aemond’s disappointment was showing you a new weakness. And his words, you knew, if they were used as weapons then you would stand little chance against them. There was a heavy weight against your lower back where his hand sat, pushing you gently so that you glided through the halls faster. 
It wasn’t a long journey back to Aemond’s quarters. But it felt like hours to the Prince, the nausea in his gut silencing him the entire way. He felt like a child again, presented with a pig instead of a dragon, the shrill laughs of his cousins and his brother striking him with flashes of humiliation. 
Again and again and again, Aegon would do whatever he could to see Aemond crumble. Aegon would always take Aemond’s dignity, his honour, his crown. And now he just had to take his wife? 
Aemond shut the doors to his chambers roughly and you were quick to put some distance between the two of you. There was a hollow ball of guilt and fear that caught in your throat but you couldn’t deny the elation at the mixture of emotions in Aemond’s eye as he turned to face you. 
It was a reflection of how you had felt upon finding Aemond in bed with another. He would finally understand. 
Only Aemond was worlds away from the damned arousal you had felt and instead it was replaced with a youthful dread, a panic that you had never seen from him before now. 
There was hardly a moment for you to register the harshness of Aemond’s grip on your bicep as he pulled you toward the bowl that was kept by his bath, filled with clean water and accompanied by a tray of freshening oils. He lightly shoved you toward it as he let you go, unfazed by the sound of shock that you could not hold back. 
“Wash your mouth,” he spat. Although your back was to him, you could feel how he suppressed the extent of his rage as he was ever so good at doing. “And then we will talk.”
You bit your tongue and did as he said, wincing at the ice in his words and the angry strain of his voice. There was a lot that you wanted to say, to scream at him. He was angry–and to some extent he had every right to be–but how could Aemond have expected you to be okay with something that he clearly could not take on the chin?
But the way he had held you, the tone of his voice and the harshness in his glare had you wondering if revenge was worth whatever comes next. Because, amongst the whirlwind of fear and guilt and regret was gratification and fulfilment. 
The prickle of Aemond’s glare had disappeared before you were ready to dry your mouth with a towel. Quiet as ever, he had snuck away and by the time you had realised, the sound of the door shutting and the click of the lock had notified you of his absence. 
Aemond had locked you in. When you had swiftly tried to push the doors open, unaware of where you would go and truthfully not intending to leave in the first place, it didn’t budge. And when you called for the kingsguard who stood at the other side of the door, you went unanswered aside from a curt reply that he had been ordered not to let you leave. 
So you had resigned yourself to sitting atop Aemond’s bed rather than the seating arrangements scattered around the rest of the quarters. It smelled strongly of lavender, leather and Aemond’s very own scent–the one that always had you on the verge of drooling. But it only sent your nerves into overdrive, afraid that the consequences of your vengefulness, no matter how satisfying it was initially, may be too dire to recover from. 
The thought of whatever Aemond had planned for Aegon was not nice. You were correct in assuming that your tryst with Aegon would only cut your husband deeper because it was Aegon. The depth of whatever issues these brothers shared was far beyond you but you had only assumed that all second born princes would be affected in such a way. And Targaryen’s were full of complexities, each believing that they were better than everyone. Even their own siblings. 
Aegon had known that his younger brother would become nothing short of murderous. But he had never been a man to avoid even the slightest of temptations. Both the idea of indulging in you and inflaming the ever unresponsive Aemond were far more than slightly tempting. It would be worth the bloodied nose, the split lip and the sick that he’d spewed over his shoes when Aemond had returned to grace him with an inhumanly strong hit to his balls. Somehow, Aemond had made that act of violence seem like child’s play with the threats that he had rained down upon Aegon. 
King Aegon, who simply did not know when to keep his mouth shut and had all but asked for it with the way he taunted Aemond with a sentence he never had the chance to complete. “Seeing as you cannot satisfy even your own wife-”
He wasn’t there long. Aemond’s angry mind was racing and he couldn’t think past the red of his rage. But Aemond still knew better than to stay where he would surely commit a treason he would regret. 
Whatever fury Aemond had unleashed upon Aegon in the short time he was away had seemed to calm him down. He was still clearly angry when he stepped back into his quarters but there was a far less frightening storm brewing in his eye. 
At his return, you had stood from the bed. The air was sucked right out of the room when Aemond stood right in front of you, so close that you could count the creases in the leather of his eyepatch. There was a tense silence in which he stared at you, waiting for you to fold but you only held your head high and met his gaze stubbornly. 
Minutes had passed before Aemond spoke. His voice was far softer than you had expected and he seemed to have settled down a bit as he dragged his knuckles across your cheek, only to grip your chin so that you could not look away from him. Aemond held you tightly but not tight enough that it hurt.
“Enough of this,” It was an order, stern and unrelenting. “No more. This was a step too far-”
You scoffed in his face. “A step too far? Had you not done the same thing?”
Aemond had never in his life apologised for anything. He never felt sorry. And he never wished to admit to his mistakes. But here he was, face to face with the effects of one of the biggest mistakes he had made. If there were anything he could have done aside from apologise, he would have done it. But it was the only thing that would ease the mess of guilt that had arisen inside of him. For what he had done with the whore and for everything he hadn’t done for your marriage. 
“It was a mistake. If I could undo it, I would,” I’m sorry. “This was childish of you. Vengefulness is unbecoming.”
There was a beastly disgust that Aemond felt when he thought of another man even looking at you. The image of Aegon’s cock in your mouth, his seed leaking from your lips made him want to burn the entire realm to ashes. Aemond’s eye trailed along your jaw, to your neck and then down past your stomach. Did Aegon touch you where only he was to touch you?
Fuck treason. Aemond would feed Aegon to Vhagar if he had indulged in your body. 
“It is more than vengeance. You would not have understood what I felt. How I suffered because of you and your whore,” you tried your best to keep your voice stable. The lump in your throat and the tears that blurred your vision forced you to pull out of Aemond’s grip and turn your back to him. “You promised me you would never do that. You dishonoured me. You insulted me. You hurt me–Aemond, do you have any idea the things that they say about me?”
Aemond frowned and you could not see how he reached for you, only to drop his hand back to his side. “I–”
“That I am a failure. That I am-that I am so repulsive and so dull that you cannot even lay with me to produce an heir,” you couldn’t help the sob that escaped you. “And I saw what she was doing to you, what you were doing to her. I could never even have imagined the existence of such an act that had given you so much pleasure-”
“There was no true pleasure with her.” Aemond mumbled. Pathetically. 
Pathetic was exactly the word. Aemond may have been good with a sword, in a fight, with his dragon and when strategizing wars. But he was a pathetic husband–a pathetic partner, a pathetic lover. And he had the urge to take out his good eye for being so mindless and so ignorant. 
Hindsight was his worst enemy, it seemed. Because in hindsight, Aemond would have done everything differently, right from the moment you were introduced to him.
“Lie. It was clear, Aemond. They are all right, are they not?” You felt him step into you, his warm chest against your back. Leather and lavender and him. “I have failed. My womb is still empty. The last time you visited my bed was moons ago. I know you do not love me, my Prince, but I have love for you. Men are not the only ones who need intimacies of the body–I needed that and you have never given me anything. Yet you gave it to her. I wished to hurt you as you had hurt me.”
There were no words that Aemond could find. So he settled for shaking his head and watching you as you sat yourself down on the edge of his bed, staring down at your hands on your lap. You were so wrong in your perception of him but he couldn’t find the words to explain that. But Aemond decided in that moment that he would show you, one way or another. He hesitated before sitting beside you. 
You couldn’t meet his eye if you tried. It was as if your body was telling you to stop talking, that these thoughts were too painful to share, feelings too abstract and tender to put into words. 
“It is wretched, I know–to have turned to Aegon,” you felt him tense beside you and against your better judgement, you placed a hand on his thigh in an attempt to give him some comfort. “I wished to hurt you but I also wished to learn. I thought maybe if I knew how to-how to do things that would make you feel good so that maybe you would feel for me as I have for you. Aegon said he could show me. It is ridiculous, I understand that now.”
Aemond took your hand in his, the heat of your skin against his was fierce for such an insignificant action. He hated that it was easier for you to turn to Aegon than it was to turn to him. “I could have shown you. I can show you so much more. If only we had been honest with each other from the beginning.”
“I thought you do not want me.”
He sucked in a sharp breath. It would be less painful to drive his own dagger through his heart. “I crave for you, my love. I was just too stubborn to admit it and too afraid of what it means. And I did not know how to show you how badly I burn for you.”
The sight of tears had never fazed him until they were yours. Aemond was not particularly pious, he prayed simply because his mother had raised him to pray, but he would be on his knees every hour of every day if it meant that he could take these feelings away from you. If it meant that he could take it all back and start over. 
“I am sorry. No more of this,” you said. “No more seeking out the touch of anyone else in place of each other.”
“I will be a better husband,” Aemond stated, as if he were telling it to himself as much as he was to you. “I will try for our marriage and our duty. And for you.”
“Your promises haven’t proven to mean much to me. All is not forgiven just because we have talked,” You sighed, but gave him a weak smile, turning to look at him. 
He gazed down at you with determination, his jaw tight and his eye glistening with tears that wouldn’t fall. There was no attempt to push you away when you reached up to take off the leather that covered his bad eye. You wanted to see him as he was, even if only for a moment.
Gods, he was beautiful. 
As you stood you forced your smile to turn lighthearted as you teased him through your heavy hearts. “Jealousy motivates you well, my Prince. I shall remember that.”
Aemond hummed, mostly serious as his hands tightly grabbed your hips. “Do not jest like that. I will not be able to look at Aegon without dreaming of murdering him for defiling you how only I should. I cannot afford such treasonous fantasies.”
There was a silent threat in his words. Nonetheless, you leaned down to his ear, gasping gently at the harshness of his fingers squeezing the flesh of your hips. Just his hands on your body alone set you alight. 
“Perhaps my husband should leave the door to his bedchambers open tonight,” you let out a small laugh at the way that he pulled you to straddle his lap so suddenly, gently nipping the skin of his earlobe. You weren’t quite done messing with him. 
“Is that so?” He smiled and you thought that it made him all the more beautiful. 
“Yes,” you smirked, when he groaned frustratedly at your next words, softly throwing you onto the bed. “I may wish to show you exactly what I have learned.”
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d-targaryenshoe · 8 months ago
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Eternal Hope - Anthony Bridgerton
Word Count: 2053
Summary: When one's best friend tells you a rather complex secret about your husband, doubts start to take over your mind, am I right?
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You and Anthony Bridgerton were the perfection of an ideal couple, your marriage a testament to the power of love and commitment. 
You were a vision of innocence and purity, your heart as untainted as the snow that covered the ground on your wedding day.
 He was the embodiment of devotion, his every action a reflection of his deep affection for you. To the outside world, you were the picture-perfect duo, your lives a fairytale come true.
 But your best friend, Philipa Featherington, knew better. Her family had seen Anthony Bridgerton in his younger days before he had met you and settled down.
 Back then, he had been known as quite the rake, a man who was more interested in the pleasures of the flesh than in finding true love. 
Despite his charming exterior, there was something dark and dangerous lurking beneath the surface.
It was this knowledge that made Philipa feel a mixture of awe, envy, and a tiny thread of worry for you, her friend.
One afternoon, as the two of you sat in the parlor, sipping tea and enjoying the warmth of the sun, Philipa decided to share the past with you. 
"You know, y/n," she began, her voice low and conspiratorial, "I sometimes wonder how you ever managed to tame that wild beast of a man." 
Philipa nodded towards the golden ring on your finger. "Before you came along, Anthony was quite the scoundrel."
Your eyes widened in surprise. "Philipa, I cannot believe that you would say such a thing about my husband!" you exclaimed. "Anthony is the most loving, attentive man I could ever hope for!"
Philipa smiled sympathetically, knowing that you meant every word you said. But she also knew that there was more to the story than you realized. 
"Yes, yes," she said, waving her hand dismissively.
 "Of course, he is different now. But you must remember that everyone here has known him for years, and some saw firsthand the things he used to do. He could be quite ruthless, y/n. He never cared about anyone's feelings but his own."
Your brow furrowed in confusion. "Are you sure you're not overstating?" you asked hesitantly. "Anthony has always been so kind to me."
Philipa looked you in the eye. "I wish I were," she said simply. 
"But the truth is, Anthony Bridgerton was once a very different man. And while I'm glad that he's changed, and that you're so happy together, I can't help but wonder if you know who he is."
Your heart sank at your friend's words. You wanted to believe that Philipa was wrong, that Anthony could never have been anything but the devoted husband you knew now. 
But a tiny seed of doubt began to take root in your mind. Perhaps there was more to Anthony's past than you had realized.
"I-I don't know what to say," you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper. "I love Anthony with all my heart, and he loves me just as much. He's been nothing but faithful and kind since the day we met."
Philipa reached over and took your hand in hers. "I'm not saying that he isn't faithful to you now," she said gently.
 "But you must understand that the man you married is not the same man who was running through the streets of London, chasing after any skirt that crossed his path."
You bit your lip, trying to process everything your friend was saying.
You wanted to believe that Anthony was as innocent and pure as you were, but the memories of Philipa's stories kept creeping into your thoughts.
 Could it be possible that there was more to Anthony than you knew?
As you sat alone in the carriage, making your way home from your visit to Philipa, your heart felt heavy with doubt. 
The wind howled outside, and the horses' hooves clattered against the cobblestone streets, but you could barely hear any of it over the voice in your head.
 What if Philipa was right? What if Anthony had been dissatisfied with you in some way? 
You tried to convince yourself that it was ridiculous, that Anthony was the most loving husband a woman could ask for.
 But the thought lingered, refusing to be shaken off.
Your mind drifted back to the beginning of your courtship, when Anthony had been so attentive, always showering you with compliments and affection. 
He had made you feel beautiful and desirable in a way that no one else ever had. But then, as time went on, you began to wonder if perhaps he was growing bored with you. 
He had started spending more time at his club, and when he was home, he seemed distracted.
You tried to talk to him about it, but he always brushed your concerns aside, insisting that everything was fine.
You closed your eyes, the tears beginning to well up in their corners. It hurt you to think that Anthony might not find you beautiful anymore, that he might be seeking pleasure elsewhere. 
The thought made you feel so insecure, so unworthy of his love. As the carriage pulled up in front of your home, you forced a smile onto your face, trying to convince yourself that everything was going to be all right.
 But deep down, you couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right between you.
You climbed out of the carriage and hurried up the steps to your front door, your heart racing with anticipation and fear.
 Anthony was supposed to have returned home hours ago, but he hadn't come back yet.
You knocked on the door, your knuckles white from gripping the handle.
 When the butler answered, you forced a bright smile, trying to hide the turmoil within her.
 "Hello, Thomas," you said, your voice steady despite the pounding of your heart. "Is Lord Bridgerton inside?"
Thomas, ever the attentive servant, noticed something amiss in your expression. "I believe Lord Bridgerton is still at the club, Lady Bridgerton," he said gently. "Shall I send up a tray for him?"
You hesitated for a moment, your brow furrowing in confusion. 
"Yes," you managed to say, "that would be lovely. Thank you, Thomas." You turned and made your way upstairs to your bed chamber, your steps heavy with unease. 
You couldn't help but wonder what Anthony was doing at the club for so long, and why he hadn't come home yet. 
The thought of him with another woman, enjoying himself in ways he never seemed to enjoy with you, made your stomach churn.
You busied yourself with straightening the bedclothes and rearranging the pillows, trying to distract yourself from the growing ache in your heart.
 But as the minutes ticked by and Anthony still hadn't returned, your anxiety only grew worse. 
You couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, that perhaps Philipa had been right all along. 
Maybe Anthony's past truly was catching up with you, and your marriage wasn't as strong as you had once believed it to be.
Finally, you heard the familiar sound of the front door opening and closing downstairs.
 Your heart leaped into your throat as you hurried over to the window, peeking out through the curtains.
 There he was, striding up the walkway, his shoulders squared and his head held high. He looked every bit the gentleman you had fallen in love with all those years ago.
 But as he ascended the stairs and disappeared from your view.
Your stomach was knotted with fear. You waited until you heard the butler announce his arrival before you made your way down the hallway, trying to compose yourself.
 When you finally stepped into the entryway, Anthony turned toward you, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "There you are, dearest," he said, his voice warm and affectionate. "I was beginning to wonder where you'd gotten off to."
Your heart sank even further. You forced a smile and walked toward him, trying to ignore the voice in your head that kept saying that this wasn't real, that he wasn't truly happy to see you.
 As you moved toward each other, you let yourself be enveloped in his embrace, breathing in his familiar cologne, feeling the strength of his arms around you.
 For a moment, you let yourself believe that everything was going to be all right.
"I was just waiting in the parlor, my lady," Thomas interjected, clearing his throat. "Shall I bring up the tray for Lord Bridgerton now?"
"Yes, please," Anthony said, stepping away from you. "That would be lovely, Thomas. Thank you." 
He turned back to you, reaching out to take your hand. "Come, my dear. Let's go eat in the privacy of our chamber. I have something I'd like to discuss with you."
Your heart skipped a beat. What could he possibly need to discuss? You forced another smile and allowed him to lead you up the stairs and into your bed chamber, following him like a nervous child as he took a seat at the table.
 He poured you each a glass of wine before sitting back in his chair, his gaze fixed on you.
 "Y/n," he began, his voice gentle but firm, "I need to talk to you about something."
Your stomach twisted into knots. "Okay," you managed to say, your voice barely audible above the pounding of your heart. "What is it?"
Anthony took a deep breath before continuing. "I love you, y/n. More than anything in this world. You are my wife, my partner, my best friend. But I've been feeling...disconnected from you lately. Like something is missing between us."
 He paused, searching your eyes for some sign of understanding. "I want us to be closer. More intimate. I want to feel the way I used to feel when I looked at you, the way I felt when we first met."
Your heart ached as you listened to his words. 
A part of you wanted to believe him, to believe that you could find your way back to the love you once shared. 
But another part of you couldn't help but wonder if it was all just an act if he was only trying to save face. 
You took a sip of your wine, trying to steady your nerves. "I...I want that too," you said, your voice trembling. "I want us to be closer, to feel connected again. But...I don't know how."
Anthony studied your face, his expression softening. 
"I think we need to be honest with each other," he said. "To share our fears and our desires. To...explore each other." He took a deep breath, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed. 
"I want to make love to you, y/n. Not just tonight, but every night. I want to show you how much you mean to me, how much I desire you."
Your cheeks flushed at his words, your heart racing. A part of you wanted to believe that he meant it, that he wanted you the way he used to. 
But another part of you couldn't help but wonder if it was all just a ploy to ease his conscience, to make himself feel better about whatever it was he had been doing. 
You looked up at him, searching his eyes for some sign of truth.
"I'm...I'm not sure," you said finally, your voice barely more than a whisper. "I want to try, Anthony. I want us to try. But I need you to promise me that...that you'll always be honest with me. That you'll never keep anything from me."
He reached across the table, taking your hand in his. "I promise you, my love," he said solemnly. 
"I will always be honest with you. And I swear I will never keep anything from you. Not again." His grip on your hand tightened, and you could feel the warmth of his palm through your gloves. "I want this to work between us, y/n. More than anything."
You closed your eyes, trying to decide what to believe. Part of you wanted to believe him, to trust that he could change, that you could find your way back to the love you once shared. 
But another part of you was still so insecure, still so hurt by the betrayal. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for whatever might come.
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silverflqmes · 8 months ago
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agszc and the flowers they'd give as well as why they would give them?
໒⦂ 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄.
notes. hey queen, my knowledge in flowers is baby level but!!! we’re gonna see which flowers the boys would give based on themselves and their love<3
genre. fluff
for @melukonova <3
ft. sephiroth, cloud strife, zack fair, genesis rhapsodos, angeal hewley
gender neutral! reader.
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ะ ྂ ❤︎ . ˚˖ you selected.. orchid.
+ reasoning. orchids come in a variety of symbols next to the obvious luxury and beauty, such as strength, mystery — even charm and refinement. more importantly, they bring across how lucky you are to be able to love your special someone.
+ sephiroth had always thought himself to be deplorable for as long as he could remember. growing up, he had countless reminders of how unloveable he was even in spite of shinra’s hero treatment of him. when he met you, however, somehow you had brought this ray of light into his suffocating darkness and had loved him in spite of everything. he was just so lucky to have you in his life — it was imperative he showed you his gratitude. and so, from the many books he read in his days, he’d decided that gifting your orchids was the best way.
+ “it took awhile to find you these, given the state of midgar.. but the search was worth the while. as i recall.. lovers gift one another flowers as an expression of affection, do they not?”
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ะ ྂ ❤︎ . ˚˖ you selected.. gardenia.
+ reasoning. gardenia is the type of flower you would use to confess when the words don’t quite reach your lips. basically, an unspoken confession to convey your love. furthermore, it represents purity and expresses beauty towards the receiver.
+ cloud strife.. was never really the best with words, feelings and emotional expression. he preferred to think of himself as an actions kind of guy, and his confession to you boiled down to exactly that. with all the worst behind him, and the whisper of advice from his parted friends, he would have set out one morning to sector five to purchase a few gardenias. flowers and their meanings didn’t come easy to him, but the words he’d received told him these were the ones. the blond’s only hope was that his message would be received and returned.
+ “here, got these for you on the way back from my delivery, they’re um.. gardenias. make sure to change their water every other day or so, if you want them to last, of course..”
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ะ ྂ ❤︎ . ˚˖ you selected.. daisy.
+ reasoning. daisies represent an innocent, cheerful and pure form of love. the kind of flowers you would pick fresh from the garden or a patch of grass to bring to the person you cherish most. they can also express true love, beauty and simplicity.
+ zack fair was true to his nickname — a puppy. despite his want for leaving the countryside to join SOLDIER, the days he would spend back home were all filled with memories that he would forever carry with him. a few that stood out most were the times he’d race up to you with a handful of daisies. despite their messy condition, and the apology he would laugh out for tripping on his way to you, his actions are filled with sincerity and love.. even if zack might not know what he’s given to you. with time, however, he will have realized the depth of his gifts.
+ “ahaha, sorry y/n! i didn’t see this rock on my way over, and i might have ruined the flowers a bit.. but they still smell nice! and i tried to salvage the good ones, y’see! peak condition!”
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ะ ྂ ❤︎ . ˚˖ you selected.. aster.
+ reasoning. asters, according to myth were associated with a goddess that wept because there weren’t enough stars. the tears that fell became the star shaped flowers we call asters. on the contrary, they symbolize love, charm and sensitivity.
+ genesis rhapsodos — born poet, forced to soldier. flowers and their meanings didn’t fall far from the tree for a man with vast knowledge of the arts, literature and beauty. as someone with a keen interest in loveless, having analyzed and noted it to memory, asters came to be his first choice in conveying his love for you. the gift of the goddess, he would have concluded, and a perfect fit for the one who has captured his heart — you. and so, on his way back from a mission, a singular aster would have occupied his red, gloved hand as he presented it to you.
+ “a gift from the goddess for my beloved.. as flowers have long since disappeared off the face of midgar, amidst the filth and industrialization. are you pleased with my findings?”
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ะ ྂ ❤︎ . ˚˖ you selected.. alstroemeria.
+ reasoning. alstroemerias convey loyalty, devotion, support and.. honor. the type of flower you give to remind someone of their strength when they fall on hard times. but, it is also said that receiving an extra sweet one, meant you were beloved.
+ angeal hewley wasn’t exactly one for frivolous love, a stark contrast otherwise, to his friend. the romance department just never really called his attention.. well, at least until he met you. somehow you sparked feelings in him that he wasn’t sure he was even capable of feeling strongly towards another person. it was strange, different.. but a good kind of different. however there was a downside — that being his lack of experience. his familiarity with romance was minimal, but he was determined to provide! and with outside help, he was acquired flowers.
+ “these are alstroemerias.. a mouthful, i know. but they used to grow back where i grew up, in banora. they said the sweeter ones are best to gift to your beloved — so here you are.”
notes. several hours of research and inconsistent writing later, i was able to finish your request.. love how NOBODY had roses but like anyway, this is the end results for agszc with flowers woop
↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask
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galacticnikki · 2 months ago
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100 Witchcraft Tips in 100 Days!
Day 10 - Pairing Crystals With Candle Magic
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I love crystals, and I always have. My father and I used to have a huge collection together and we still do to this day. Over this past week I've been learning a lot more about crystal magic. Now that I'm a little more knowledgeable on the subject I can start using it with other kinds of magic like candles. As I've mentioned previously, crystals can amplify energies. Candle magic is one of the topics I have a lot of experience with. Candle magic channels the energy of fire towards your desired intent. They symbolize transformation, life, and spirit. I've learned recently that when you use crystals and candles together can amplify the intent more so then it could alone.
Choosing Your Candle
Candles come in many colors and those colors come with correspondences. You'll want to pick a candle who's color matches your intent There's many correspondences so I'll be condensing it down to the most notable to keep this short.
Red: Passion, Courage, Business, Creativity, Energy, Strength, Love, Loyalty, Motivation, Romance, Change, Enthusiasm, Overcoming obstacles, Power
Orange: Confidence, Abundance, Success, Ambition, Creativity, Courage, Discipline, Energy, Independence, Justice, Money, Positivity, Strength
Yellow: Action, Intuition, Clairvoyance, Communication, Learning new skills, Business, Happiness, Intellect, Inspiration, Knowledge, Wisdom
Green: Abundance, Prosperity, Luck, Beauty, Change, Creativity, Fertility, Healing, Longevity, Nurturing, Partnerships
Blue: Sleep, Dreamwork, Serenity, Peace, Honesty, Healing, Patience, Trust, Wisdom, Leadership, Justice, Career, Marriage, Communication
Purple: Spiritual Development, Psychic Protection, Spirituality, Meditation, Influence, Authority, Power, Truth, Wisdom
Pink: Love, Compassion, Kindness, Affection, Beauty, Healing, Family, Friendship, Passion, Sensuality
Brown: Stability, Grounding, Endurance, Hard Work, Balance, Courage, Material Protection
Black: Strength, Self Control, Negativity, Banishing, Binding, Protection, Death, Break Hexes, Patience, Persistence, Rebirth, Spirituality
White: Protection, Truth, Purity, Purification, Cleansing, Balancing, Divination, Grounding, Healing, Higher Self, Innocence, Spirituality, Truth, Will Power
Silver: Awareness, Psychic Powers, Healing, Intuition, Divination, Money, Fertility, Purification, Hidden Potential, Stability, Success
Gold: Success, Achievement, Abundance, Money, Positivity, Happiness, Divination, Power, Influence, Luxury
Common Pairings
White Candle + Selenite - White candles are linked to purification and spirituality while selenite is known to enhance spiritual communication. This pairing is used for spiritual guidance, cleansing, and clarity.
Black Candle + Black Tourmaline - Black candles are linked to protection and banishing while black tourmaline is known as a grounding stone that shields against negativity. This pairing is used for protection, grounding, and banishment.
Red Candle + Garnet - Red candles are linked with energy and passion while garnet is known to enhance courage, vitality, and power. This pairing is used for passion, strength, and courage.
Green Candle + Aventurine - Green candles are linked with abundance and prosperity while aventurine is known for its ability to attract luck and new opportunities. This pairing is used for prosperity, growth, and opportunity.
Pink Candle + Rose Quartz - Pink candles are linked with emotional healing and love while rose quartz is known for attracting unconditional love and compassion. This pairing is used for love, self care, and emotional healing.
Purple Candle + Amethyst - Purple candles are linked with spirituality and spiritual development while amethyst is known to enhance intuition and spiritual growth. This pairing is used for intuition, spiritual development, and wisdom.
Yellow Candle + Tiger's Eye - Yellow candles are linked with wisdom and action while tiger's eye is known for attracting strength, and protecting against negativity. This pairing is used for confidence, mental clarity, and protection.
Additional Tips
Add herbs that match with your intention to even further enhance your spell or ritual.
Anoint your candle with wax of another color to make a multipurpose candle that covers a wider range of intents.
When the candle burns out save the leftover wax and use empty tealight candle containers to make mini candles.
If you want to find more of these entries use the hashtag #100 Witchcraft Tips in 100 Days!
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hutahuta · 11 months ago
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P.AGE OO.8 — 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐔𝐌 & NOBILITY : 交 ✦ ⏱
✦ nsfw ! || pavia x fem virgin!reader —
male reader (coming soon) !! I got into the moment of writing this, idk man. aussjsujsjs i'll finish the ask box soon dw to those who requested a while back! btw everything mentioned is consensual between the both of you, so no nasty stuff implied okay?? pavia loves u sm he just wants to make the both of you feel good :((
enjoy the vomit of words and drabbles ‼️
huta <3 (◍ ´꒳` ◍)
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— — :
✦ With a delicate touch, he traced circles on your naked back, each motion conveying a silent language of love and understanding. You tilted your head, meeting his gaze with a soft smile, eyes sparkling with admiration and trust. In that tranquil intimacy, words seemed unnecessary; you didn't know how the hell you got into this mess, but your blurry visions tempt you to try to remember how you managed to convince him that you were ready to take him entirely. You weren't even sure yet if this is the bastard you want to lose your virginity to, but you loved him. Enough to allow your own purity to be engulfed by his own greed.
Your connection spoke volumes in the quiet exchange of shared affection, a symphony composed in gestures and whispers. His eyes glazed over the soft mounds of your chest that his slender fingers pinched the nipples between his fingers, watching ever so slowly, so mercilessly, how he wanted to devour your body as a whole and leave no trace behind. Pavia set you to be his little princess, allowing you to feel every inch of a thick cock be pushed directly into your hole that made you whimper and moan in your purity being fractured and split right open. He enjoyed this. He enjoyed taking his time with you, he didn't mind. But it was solely for the purpose of seeing every reaction you had.. and he didn't care that it took so long.
But regardless, you realised that within this moment of tranquility, your scattered clothing was yet to be cleaned up. It spread across the floor like a polluted river, but none of that mattered right now. At least, not to Pavia.
" How many times have you done this..?"
" Why does it even matter, ha? You're all I need to focus on right now.. "
A wolf devours it's meal when it's hungry, but Pavia? He had all the time in the world to watch you squirm and shudder to moan his name out like the most sinful prayer you've ever spoken of.
“ Just relax, puppy. You'll get what you want soon, and be patient, amore. I just want to see how long you can last until I fucking break you. “ He murmured huskily against your ear, moving his hands from your chest, to pinning both of your wrists above your head with one hand, the other laid firm against your waist.
He was somewhat lying. He just didn't want to hurt you during your first time, so stretching you out was the best possible choice to avoid hurting his beloved wife. <3
" Enjoying it, huh? Of course you are. Let me hear you, amore. Your noises are melodies for one to thrive in. So don't shut those pretty little lips of yours. "
His bites were gentle, but they became rougher by the minute with his groans exclaimed how badly he wanted this, just as much as you did under the muffled tone of his head devouring your body in sloppy kisses and bite marks.
But he didn't want to rush into it.
Let the man take care of you. Let him enjoy how his scent marks onto you with the perfume staining your body with the scent of mandarin and musk, adorned with fresh leather that polished him entirely.
He can feel it.
The way your hips grind against him to tell Pavia how badly you want to be destroyed, made him sinisterly laugh. He couldn't help but kiss your lips the moment you bucked into him, telling you to hush, that your silent pleas are heard but won't be taken into action, not yet anyways..
But then, It all stopped when he heard your whimper.
The hushed whisper that cracked something within his mind. Your words lingered.
" Please. Devour me. "
The teasing halted, and his movements were brief and short.. Between the sudden moment of panting and mixed breaths, Pavia flipped you on your back and he fucks into you like his own life depended on it.
Echoing slaps that filled the room emptied your pitched moans spilling effortlessly like wine out of a cup.
Staining the air with the murky scent of sex, your eyes half lidded, he managed to move you into a more comfortable position to continue thrusting his cock into your tight little hole with insanity. The slick that formed a ring around the base made him utterly crazy. Grabbing onto whatever he could to make you feel equally as pleasured as he was. He loved your body, worshipped it even. No matter how it seemed to look, he admired all traits of you and if anything, only extended his ego to see how ALL of this belongs to him.
“ T-That's it, cara mía. "
he groaned, snapping his head towards the base of your neck where he burrows under, because his feverish redness staining his cheeks made it known that he truly did thrive in it all, knowing how you could easily make him crumble just as much as how he knows how he can make you fold under five seconds.
Pavia raised your legs instantly and held them above his shoulders, leaning in to fold you, biting your bottom lip with slight pressure as he continued to effortlessly cram himself into your tight little hole, whimpers hushed and muffled by his rough handling of you. Watery eyes of yours closed instantly, all the while Pavia continued to abuse that one spot that bundled your nerves together, hitting deep and deeper with every raw thrust consuming both of your sweaty bodies together. Those fingers bearing rings and chains on his hand that made you feel the cold steel hit against your warmth, they circled your clit, every thrust that followed along after.
Hungry lips latched onto your chest, biting down gently on your soft nipples that perked up instantly as you felt his cock withdraw from you. Whines perched up as he immediately fucked into your body once again, your breathing suddenly halted and sucked out entirely.
seems like you'll be here for quite a while..
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boytoyhalo · 10 months ago
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I know this is a hard pill to swallow, but if you want society to improve especially in terms of how we treat criminals and mentally ill people, if you want to abolish cops and prison and work towards building better communities, if you want the cycle of abuse to end - you HAVE to accept that EVERYONE can change and grow. That includes people who have done things that you consider irredeemable - rapists, abusers, pedophiles. EVERYONE.
Before you get on my ass about it, let me make it incredibly clear that I am NOT saying that anyone, least of all victims, is obligated to forgive or give any sort of grace to people like that. This post isn't solely about forever's current situation but I'll focus on it as an example since it's relevant - I am not going to continue following forever's content, I don't feel comfortable knowing what I know. But I absolutely don't think it's fair to demand that no one support him, or that he not be allowed to continue having a presence in mcyt spaces. Regardless of your feelings on his past actions, it's become clear that he's not currently a threat to anyone and that he really isn't who he was back then, so who does it help to bring it all up?
Especially given that the people who brought up all the tweets weren't even the alleged victim, I don't think any of this should have been the public's business in the first place. All it's done is cause unrest and pain for everyone involved. It is not on us to be the judge jury and executioner for cases that we are not involved in - and if we don't let people leave behind the people they used to be, then those people will never go away. If we continue to isolate and ostracize and crucify people for things that they've already atoned for or grown past, then how and why would they become better people and break the cycle? If we lock into this idea that certain things make you completely irredeemable, then why would they not just continue doing those things?
Dragging up past discretions like this when they're no longer causing harm to anyone just for the sake of putting them in front of everyone IS NOT accountability, especially when it's being done without the consent of the victim. It's punishment, it's this incredibly catholic idea of needing people to face repentance or mass humiliation for their sins instead of actually building up from them. It is not, and never has been, on us as uninvolved fans to decide whether or not someone "deserves" their platform based on isolated incidents from their past.
It's completely understandable if this situation has changed your view of the cc, it's certainly changed mine. But I beg you not to try and force people to stop watching or supporting him or to decide that he's irredeemably evil and anyone who continues to associate with him is too. That helps no one, least of all the people actually affected by the things he's said. Decide for yourself, and only yourself, for your own comfort instead of moral purity.
TL;DR people who do bad things, no matter how bad, are still people and are capable of growing and changing if they choose to do so. And by refusing to let those people grow and change all we do is keep all the pain and damage they've caused around forever. No one can heal if we keep tearing open the wounds
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eternal-echoes · 6 months ago
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“If you are having a difficult time knowing where to draw the line, ask yourself the following three questions:
• How much would you want some other woman kissing your future husband?
How would you kiss a guy in front of your dad?
How much kissing would you do with Jesus Christ present in the room?
To the first question, you may have thought, "Back off, girl!" To the second, you were probably thinking, "That's just gross." To the third, you may have thought, "What's Jesus doing in my room?"
But in each case, you know in your heart what is pure. When an action is pure, you never ask if it's wrong. However, when an action is tempting, we often find ourselves asking if it's okay. If you sincerely want to know if a particular form of affection is "going too far," don't ask yourself, "Is this bad?" Ask yourself, "Is this pure?" If you want to know the will of God as it relates to purity, go to Him in prayer. He's not waiting to take something away from you. He's waiting to teach you to love.”
-Jason Evert, How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul
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thehighpriestexx420 · 1 year ago
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Pick-A-Gif Collective Tarot Reading
🔮November Predictions 🔮 & Advice 💖
Pile One:
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Pile Two:
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Pile Three:
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Pile Four:
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If you don't know the drill : take a moment to sense which gif calls out to you. If there's more than one, there's multiple messages for you. The stronger it calls out, the more it'll resonate. Because this is a collective reading, every detail may not be for you. Take what resonates and leave the rest.
My Services:
Pile One:
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Current Energy:
This prediction is already in progress. It's on the brink of coming to fruition.
November:
A major new beginning is taking place this month. You've learned that diving deep into your emotions isn't anything to be afraid of - it only allowed you to emerge stronger. Your energy will continue to get more clear, secure, and serene. You'll have a more stable, calm, and clear mind capable of making decisions in your highest interest.
This love offer coming in will progress into something more as you courageously follow your inner guidance and passionate life purpose. You'll receive support along this journey. This passionate and deep love with this person will inspire self-love and healing for you.
You'll reach a place of clarity and have solid confidence in the universe - you'll be more in alignment with your higher/true self. Illusions crafted by the ego are dissipating along with the brain fog. You're breaking free from old toxic mindsets and allowing your true self to shine with joy. You'll have balance and harmony within yourself and with your partner.
Ideas will no longer just be ideas - they'll be implemented into action. As you've withdrawn from this relationship/taken time for yourself, you've gained immense clarity of the situation. The strong magnetic attraction between you and your soulmate/twin flame will have no choice but to join you together - surpassing any obstacles and circumstances.
The conflict youve experienced has kept you seperated but that time is ending. Conflict invites growth - you'll be growing together and seeing the illusions for what they were.
Your home life and finances will be affected positively. You'll be moving in together - physically and emotionally finding your home in eachother. There will be financial security, stability, and potential for more abundance as you continue to implement your financial ideas into reality.
Pile Two:
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Current Energy:
You have 2 options - follow your true self or your ego. 50/50. It could go either way.
November:
Learn to discern between the voices of your ego and true self. Your true self's voice will never contain a negative vibe. It may tell you something your ego would consider negative, such as your crush not reciprocating your feelings, but when your true self speaks you'll feel that it's coming from a place of purity and what feels "right".
Illusions stem from low vibrations and toxicity. This whirlwind of confusion you're in will only dispell when you dive deep into yourself. You feel lost and like you can't tell what's real or not. Surrender this to the universe. Meditate. Develop a spiritual practice and routine.
You're supported by the universe - whether or not your desires manifest doesn't solely rely on your efforts. You're being too stubborn and hard-headed. Don't stress. Don't burdern yourself. Have faith. Let loose and let go.
This month, you're in the process of letting go of these burdens and moving on to better times. In love, there will be a completion of a long term goal as long as you continue to forgive and learn from past difficulties. You will - the timing is up to you.
There will be a union where you'll work together to maintain the positive thinking and faith that allowed this manifestation of yours to surface in the first place.
For finances, you'll be hardworking and determined. Travel has repeatedly come up so I'm seeing that you'll travel to a new place quickly and this will affect all areas of your life. You'll overcome all obstacles with this immense strength and fierceness you have. This idea you have regarding your finances and your intuition will guide you.
Reigning in your unhealthy impulses will give you a nurturing home full of success and abundance. Your career will deal with emotions, artistry, spirituality, and/or advisory. For most of you, you'll be a successful spiritual guide once you follow your own guidance.
You'll be communicating with more diplomacy and care. Nature has come up so you'll either be spending more time outside or finding a home in nature.
Pile Three:
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Current Energy:
Impatient, aggravated. This is blocking your manifestation. Remove the blockage and it'll flow to you in time.
November:
You've been obsessing over this goal you have. Temper your emotions and impulses. You're coming in too hot. Moderation and balance is needed. It will be successful, just chill in the meantime.
Channel your frustration into something creative. Engage in your hobbies. Practice self-soothing coping mechanisms. Meditate. There's some intense worry here. Everything will be ok!
In love, you'll be moving on to better times with your life partner/soulmate/twin flame. You'll reconcile with someone from your past.
Take some time to yourself to soul-search. Get in a quiet and calm place to block the noise and outside influences. You need less stimulation.
Achieve balance and harmony within yourself before you achieve harmony with your partner. Its safe for you to love yourself and others. While you need to take a time-out, don't isolate yourself forever.
Trust the timing. You've been waiting for this reunion for a while and it's for a reason. The moment has to line up just right. You can do your part by advancing your state of being. Let go of what you cant control and trust in the universe - this is a part of that advancement.
Pile Four:
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Current Energy:
This prediction is already in progress. You're in the planning stage - deciding where to go. It's up to you!
November:
You've walked away from a toxic relationship. This loss has been a difficult time for you. You've lost your home, finances, and love life all in one go. It's been incredibly lonely.
Figure out where you want to go and carefully plan your next steps. You're wondering if that's towards your ex and for most of you, you're being given the go ahead. Have patience. Reach out when you feel prepared and that the time is right.
The tides are changing and your ex is coming in soon. Together, you'll overcome the obstacles that have previously hindered you. You've lost everything and you'll gain it all back.
You'll both continuously put in effort and work in this relationship. The progress will be steady and taken one day at a time.
In finances, you have limitless potential. It's likely you'll be an entrepreneur or have a higher position at work. You'll be the master of your environment - earning you respect, security, stability, and abundance. Your innate ability to create wealth and your hard work will pay off.
Altogether, you'll be moving on from a toxic state of being and upgrading your mindset and life. Your social life will also be improving - there will be more friends and you'll carry yourself with more assuredness and confidence.
You're being asked to have more gratitude and to notice what you do have in life. Ask yourself what you want and then go after it. Take accountability for your actions/nonactions. You can have it all. Open your heart and mind.
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eleventeeny · 3 months ago
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An Analysis on the New Manson Era
Marilyn Manson is holding his first headlining show since 2019 tonight. The past few days have been pure bliss for Manson fans everywhere. We've gotten a new single, new music video, first stage appearance in 5 years, and soon the first headlining performance in 5 years.
In this post, I want to analyze what we've seen so far. I spoke on the new single a bit in my previous post. I spoke on the new single in my previous post, please check that out if you're interested.
Starting with the MM x NB teaser from May 2024, the costume designer has apparently confirmed that this video is part of a full music video that will be released at a later date.
Within this video, we see a ton of symbolism. In the opening alone, he holds or presents a few items that could have a specific meaning.
He first holds a book, however I'm not sure what this could represent, and I don't know what the book he's holding is either.
After, he holds a key which represents knowledge, strength and contempt, as well as having control.
The throne shown represents authority and the sword in front of the throne represents justice, but in Greek mythology it can also be a sign of vengeance.
The apple he holds represents wisdom or the forbidden fruit.
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I noticed a lot of symbolism relating to the human body as well, for example the glass oxygen mask he holds to his face, or the costume he wears that represents the veins in the body.
Throughout this whole era, we've seen a lot of imagery with flowers. When we see this full image of Manson, we can see calla lilies. These flowers are poisonous if eaten and represent resurrection and rebirth. Behind him, we see a structure covered with white flowers which could be these same flowers, roses, and yellow birds.
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At the end of the teaser, we hear the outro to As Sick as the Secrets Within: "Keep sleeping, I'll make you dream of me"
In the lyrics for As Sick as the Secrets Within, we get a bit of a reflection of the past few years for Manson, which is why the cover is an image of his reflection in a piece of a broken mirror.
"I built this cage we've been trapped in together, can't remember where I hid the keys" -- This could be about Manson starting problems and dragging others into it and then struggling to get them out of the mess he created. He is realizing that his actions have negatively affected himself and those around him.
"A reason for me, for me to get by became a need, a need to get high" -- Manson first started using drugs, like he says, to get by, but it became a need, an addiction.
"Then into a life that was no life at all" -- In his addiction, he was alive he wasn't truly living.
The chorus, to me, is about how your trauma and hurt can only control you as much as you let it. You can become your full self when you stop letting your problems take over you. The beast he mentions can be a representation of misery or the struggle to break pattern, and it tries to pull us back in and control us.
"Keep sleeping, I'll make you dream of me" -- Manson saying that even if you ignore him or turn a blind eye, he'll make you notice and hear him. He's always said that he doesn't care what you think of him as long as you think of him.
In the music video for As Sick as the Secrets Within, we see a lot of imagery with tentacles. This could just be a reference to Evan Rachel Wood's documentary, Phoenix Rising, which depicts Manson as a creature that uses his tentacles to bring her down. But these images could also serve as a very literal metaphor, symbolizing a strong, threatening force. He is a force to be reckoned with.
I noticed in the first image we see with the tentacles, it appears as the white part is the body of a woman and the black tentacles are reaching around the legs to get inside.
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We see a lot of black and white imagery in this video, similar to the Say10 music video. Black represents evil and dark, white represents the good and purity. This picture could be an image of evil infiltrating good.
We also see a lot of red poppies in the opening. These signify hope for the future, but also remembrance. We also see a car in a field of these same poppies. It looks similar to the car JFK was assassinated in.
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We see a skin-like sack entrapping Manson through the music video. It's covered in purple and red lines that look like veins. This could be a nod to his "wormboy" image he's used throughout his career. His arms are folded over his chest and he breathes through his mouth in an apparent struggle. He lays on a metal-like table, like an experiment.
Maybe this is the "skin" he refers to when saying there's a trick to get out of your skin. He's telling you that you can only be reborn by letting go of your trauma and secrets.
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There's an image of a cross in front of a cross in front of a symbol on the wall made up by different papers with writings of suspected lyrics for the new album and a sort of spiral drawing. The papers appear to make up the shape of the image we see in the stage of his recent performance as well as other promotions.
An image of a triangle with a horizontal line through it flashes on the screen with a foggy background. This sign is the symbol for air in alchemy.
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Manson waves around a key while saying "you're only as sick as the secrets within", he'sa saying he is no longer controlled by his secrets, he now has the key to break free.
The cup he drinks from causes a shift in the video. As he drinks, blood pours into the background. This may represent the wrath he will bring onto those who have hurt him.
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He then breaks out of the yolk sac containing him, the birth of a new version of himself.
These last few years have been hard on him, but he came out on top, and he wants to show us that with this video and with this song.
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merakiui · 1 year ago
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seeing your otome post just made me think of rollo waaaa… maybe in the original game from your world, he was a kind of dlc? maybe you'd only just seen some of his art online, and never got around to playing it. based on his appearance, perhaps you had thought it wouldn't be too hard to avoid romancing him but :') unfortunately for you, it's very hard. i like to think that you'd just have to Physically Avoid him to completely avoid it.
he just pities you so much, with how you're stuck in a school full of mages, and even more so when he sees the way they all actually look at you. it makes his skin crawl. they are downright lecherous, and it disgusts him to his core. you, in a way, become the living embodiment of the very thing he wishes to protect and, regardless of your views on magic, his affection will steadily climb while spending more time around you. (though i imagine it might affect the kind of 'ending' you get… since you are essentially the main character in this otome universe, i like to think your actions can have quite pivotal consequences,, perhaps if you were to agree with rollo completely on his views, he would actually succeed in his plans?)
either way just. you get back to nrc and will get frequent letters from rollo for the rest of the time you stay there haha
So many letters... One each week. He's a rather persistent pen pal. It wasn't your intention to earn Rollo's affection. In fact, you were hoping to make him even worse during the events of Glorious Masquerade so that he'd loathe you for siding with mages (or in his eyes: a group of filthy, licentious fiends). If he hated you, his affection meter wouldn't rise at all and that would be one less love interest to worry about! But somehow you charm him. Maybe it's because, despite your best efforts, it's difficult to remain stone-faced while he's showing you around the City of Flowers. Everything is so beautiful, so tasty, so vibrant... You can't help fawning over it, eagerly accepting the croissant he purchases for you and listening intently while he goes on about the city's history. It's one thing to play through this scene in the game; it's another to actually experience it. Besides, it gets stressful navigating an otome such as this one. You've earned the break.
And maybe it's that curious, wide-eyed expression of yours that captures his heart. It's a sweet purity only you could possess, and it is because you are untouched by magic that you remain so perfect. It's those NRC fools who will only continue to taint you with their boastful displays of magic. Needless to say, by the end of the Glorious Masquerade, Rollo has fallen for you, his affection meter having increased significantly. He sends you letters that you never respond to because you know that doing so will only fuel his interest.
Although after many weeks of this recurring treatment, it feels nice to sit and skim through his words with Grim, the both of you giggling over his stiffly formal prose or his attempt at inviting you back to Noble Bell, only this time without the murderous, magic-hating melodrama. You wonder why he keeps sending letters even when you've yet to respond. Maybe you'll write back once just to turn down his invitations and be done with him, but with how determined this otome is to set you up with one of the many love interests here you doubt you'll be able to do that. If anything, you might just run into him by chance.
It's a scenario that's happened one too many times now. At this point, you've come to expect it. ^^;;;
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yrotic11 · 8 months ago
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A redditor asked:
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VIRGO VENUS
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Virgo Venus/6th house Venus too(as it’s also considered a place of detriment for Venus) , it’s an endearing placement to have in our real world in my opinion. When healthy, these people stand on their boundaries, they recognize more than most, the world is a dirty place when it comes to the love hemisphere but if they’re not careful can turn into them being picky and micromanaging , they do it out of love but they may not be able to see how suffocating it may feel to the receiving end of the party.
Because of their painful understanding of the world we live in they are not wooed by mere romantic sweet words of nothingness. These people want to see action be put in. Promises being valued, respected and held* up to. It’s an earth sign energy after all that also rules the day to day life.
They value CONSISTENCY. and they can get real groggy with you if they witness you not making an earnest effort because often this Venus takes on the role of giving and caring not just spiritually but physically. These type of virgoean Venus’ practice what they preach so the things they require in their relationship they so gladly will do for you no questions asked. Taking on the burdens of everyday life for you so your existence on earth for the days you are with them feels just a little sweeter. It’s on the axis of Pisces/12th house so there’s bound to be some self sacrificing element here.
The less mature ones might be stingy in their love sharing because of fear of being taken advantage of as this is often a reoccurring theme for this placement. Virgoean type of self sacrificing is far more unstabling tho, as it’s completely in the realms of the mundane.
Because of their style of sacrifice and then the harsh reality of the world around us, they’re forced to create boundaries for themselves which makes their standards high and often their rosters small because no one seems to quite live up to their wants and needs.
This can cause them to turn to superficiality because they’re human and still yearn for affection ,,and it hurts. they can see that others view them as too needy so to cope with this they may in-fact start doing the opposite instead of looking for internal character development in a partner , they focus entirely on physical appearance.
I see it more with men having their Venus in Virgo ,though. And they’re miserable yet, can seem to be honest enough with themselves to acknowledge what the real problem is😭some of the men might have strange obsessions with purity and might even perpetuate purity culture ideation unless Lilith is there or something which can either make it completely worse or pipe it down a good bit.
When/if they become completely tired of their back and forth with sacrifice they may just give up and just give the love they crave to themselves and allow it to overflow first from themselves, and let it overflow to you or whoever is receiving them.
OR they can be a miserable piece a pooh, making others miserable and traumatized in the process. However, eventually some may even completely reject the idea of dating or getting married to protect their peace this is often the more healed party, they don’t wanna participate/continue in perpetuations of manipulation that comes with the dating scene so they just remove themselves and watch from a distance. In the flesh they’re often a blessing gone sourly unrecognized. they want to work to accomplish your needs, they yearn for that in return; they don’t get it. Sad love story, very misunderstood set of people.
Also in relationships the people receiving the Virgo/6h Venus might not even be able to see their love language style/or even care to learn this Venus’s love style because the love they give does not include/ or care for the games and the dance of love interlock manipulation. Their love is a simple and a scornfully real type of love. So intertwined with the normalities of the mundane that..it goes unnoticed. That’s my own personal perspective what I’ve seen and witnessed.
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starwell-tarot · 2 years ago
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PAC: What is your superpower? 🤍
Pick a pile reading: What is the superpower you carry through life, that makes you such an awesome individual?
Hope this will help you guys see how cool you really are 😎
Pile 1-3, left to right
Pick the pendant that you feel most drawn to. It's okay to pick more than one, you can feel attracted to multiple piles and read multiple interpretations.
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Disclaimer: All my readings contain themes of mental and emotional struggles and pains as they strive to comfort those. I don't intend on rubbing you the wrong way and I'm doing this with the hope I can help people feel better, but if it doesn't work I might just not be the right person to comfort you.
Disclaimer: I'm not a mental health professional in any way. Although my tarot readings focus on giving emotional and mental reassurance, I can only give you as much as a friend could give you - encouraging words, friendly advice, a shoulder to cry on or a metaphorical hug. Please take in the information responsibly, and if your mental health is greatly affecting your day to day functions, please consider looking for a professional if possible. I'm afraid I can't be more than a tarot-enthusiastic friend.
Take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Take care of yourselves and remember hope is your best friend. 🖤
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PILE 1: BLUE HEART // Maple Tree, Sumac, King of Swords R, Seven on Pentacles
You live life to the beat of your own drum. You have an admirable stubbornness to you - and that's your superpower. People might say that this is like this, and that is like that, but you don't believe them. You don't follow the status quo, you don't participate in the mentality of the mainstream. No, instead you take every little thing and look at it with your OWN eyes. You create your own opinion of it. You turn everything on every side, analyze it and reanalyze it until you find what you feel is YOUR angle, that fits you the best. Because at the end of the day, it's your life, it's your mind, it's your heart. Your mind is deep and complex, and using your intellectual power and observing eye, you can always deduct the best course of action to give yourself the happiness you deserve, build the life that YOU want. With this superpower, you'll always keep searching for a way to achieve what you desire, even if it seems impossible. Your keen eye will always find the hidden small pleasures of life, daily happiness doses that you give yourself - other people might not understand them or might even be envious of them, but that's none of your concern. No one can ever tell you to live like them, think like them, feel like them - you're couragously unique and will continue to explore the boundaries of the world to create your own paradise on Earth. Keep being stubborn, my friend 🖤
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PILE 2 - STEEL HEART - Linden Tree, Two of Wands, Three of Wands
People might try to bring you down in this life - try to control you, tell you what to do, try to pin you down, put obstacles in your way, strip you away of happiness - however there is something they will never be able to take away from you. Even if your heart has to turn to steel in order to protect itself from the world, it still continues to beat with purity, with innocence - it continues to dream. Your superpower is exactly this: your ability to conjure up dreams and fantasies, still pure, innocent and full and love and hope, uncorrupted by the world around you. You live life with your heart on your sleeve, your dreams in every handshake, your hopes in every word. Many people might say they're just dreams and fantasies, but you know that's not true. Your inner truth is way matters most - and that truth is that your dreams are your heartbeat, your reason to live and fight. And you WILL fight for you dreams, for they need to be gently grown with patience and passion for them to manifest in real life, and you know this. You're aware your dreams aren't an illusion, and with enough hard work and soul put into them, they can become true. You're a soulful fighter, a pure-heated dreamer, and to you no magic is untouchable. Keep dreaming, my friend 🖤
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PILE 3 - HALF HEART // Chestnut Tree, Ten of Wands, Nine of Cups R
It is possible for you to detach a part of your heart and give it to someone who needs it in order to fill the void in theirs. Your superpower is, you're a healer. You have a caring and selfless nature, taking on other people's hurt as your own - you can't stand to see someone walk around with a broken heart. The caretaker in you will want to take them in, listen to them, nurture them and make them feel comfortable about the loss or change that broke their heart, so that they will be able to heal. You lend them your positivity, you create them a safe space. You give them an anchor, a shoulder cry on. You're responsible, calm, calculated, level headed and understanding, and together with your gentle guidance and optimism, it gives you this ability; the ability to give pieces of your heart to others, but without ever running out of heart for yourself, because love is endless. There can always be more love, and the people around you realize that with you, they're safe, they're protected and you won't ever judge them for their hurt. You are an ally to the people, a practitioner of white magic. Please never forgot to heal your own heart too, my friend 🖤
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R means reversed.
Let me know if the pile you picked resonated with you. 😁
If you like my work, consider supporting me on Ko-Fi!
©starwell-tarot do not copy or repost
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v4vandana · 3 months ago
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GOOD GIRL GONE BAD ZODIAC SIGN=Cancer, Scorpio & Pisces ♋️♏️♓️🦀🦂🐟🌊
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Evan Rachel Wood, Pisces Moon as Tracy Freeland
Side Note:Tracy got involved in social misbehaviour due to the influence of Evie(Nikki Reed, Gemini Moon)
Have you ever wonder what zodiac sign causes an innocent girl go from playing with barbie dolls and being righteous to causing chaos and using substance? Well it’s the air signs influence who turn the innocent water signs to do chaotic stuff or water signs naturally just become absorbed in the sensorial pleasure they forget about everything and aren’t self aware.
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Lindsay Lohan, Cancer ASC as Cady Heron
Side Note:Regina George was played by Rachel McAdams(Gemini Moon)
As you may know water is governs the sacral chakra, the chakra of sensorial pleasure. Those who overly dwell in the sacral chakra can become overly stimulated in their senses and be completely unaware of how their actions affect others. In addition, overly emotional, and you might become too attached to people and depend on them for your happiness + no sense of boundary which can get you prone to addictions. Water is a easily polluted element and can be very sensitive and fixated on purity.
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Kaya Scodelario, Pisces Sun & Cancer Moon as Effy Stonem
If you want to think of someone with an overactive sacral chakra, you can think of Effy Stonem
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Sydney Sweeney, Scorpio ASC as Cassie Howards
Side Note: Maddy Perez was played by Libra Moon Alexa Demie
Tangent back to the good girl going bad trope. I think one perfect example would be Cassie from Euphoria. In season 2 she sleeps with her friends ex boyfriend behind her back due to her overactive sacral chakra.
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Brittany Murphy, Scorpio Sun&Moon as Tai
Side note: Although Cher(Alicia Silverstone, Libra Sun) isn’t a bad influence its interesting to note that Water Signs are always friends with Air signs
Also another thing, i see that sometimes a love interest also disrupts them and turns them bad. You saw that with Cassie, Cady and now Tai and many more examples to come
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Winona Ryder, Scorpio Sun&Pisces Moon as Veronica Sawyer
Lol again !! Christian Slater has Libra Moon. Air Signs and Water Signs find each other everywhere
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Olivia Newton John, Cancer Moon as Sandy Olsson
Btw the mean girl in the movie Betty, the actress had Aquarius Sun and Libra Moon AND the love interest has Aquarius Sun. Water sign changing because of an Air sign
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Lili Reinhart, Scorpio ASC as Betty Cooper
I have so much more i want to add but 10 is the limit so i am typing down 2 more
1.Lola Tung, Scorpio Sun and Cancer Moon as Belly in The Summer I Turned Pretty
Both her love interest had Air sign moons(Gemini&Aquarius)
2.Lana Condor, Cancer Moon as Lara Jean in To All The Boys I’ve Loved
her love interest was a Aquarius Moon
Sidenote: love triangle tropes is seen in Fire Signs
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Brittany Murphy, Scorpio Sun&Moon
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Eminem, Libra Sun & Aquarius Moon
Eminem must have a thing for water+fire sign woman (Rihanna,Pisces Sun & Mariah Carey,Cancer Moon too)
AIR AND WATER SIGNS FIND EACH OTHER EVERYWHERE
Anyways thank you for taking the time and reading. I tried my best to explain. I am good at patterns but have a difficult time writing. Thank you for reading💞💗.
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bruisedloverr · 6 days ago
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Pure to the Core
◾ Summary: You were rotten to the core, a human corrupted by past sins. Luckily, your beloved Sydney was the opposite, and he could help you regain pieces of your lost purity, even if through unconventional means. ◾ Relationship: Player/Sydney ◾ Tags: Watersports, Piss Drinking, Golden Showers, Established Relationship (Rite of Promise) ◾ Notes: Finally... Sydney piss. The AO3 link can be found here.
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The incense sketched smoky lines around the Temple’s interior, a particular Sunday, in your opinion. The impurity clung to you, and no matter how much the Temple tried—with prayers and holy water—it seemed they couldn't purge it from your body. You had sinned, deeply, before being promised to the only person who truly deserved your body. The madness you had fallen into, the promiscuity and impurity of it all, had left its defiling mark deep within you. You’d been defiled to your core, both by your own actions and by others who had taken advantage of you without caring how it affected you, how it destroyed the most intimate parts of yourself. God would judge them—or so you hoped.
If there was anyone who helped you stay grounded, it was your beloved, Sydney. That boy you met in the sacred ground while you searched for something to cling to, some reassurance that everything would get better, that it all had a purpose—the same place that united you both in a sacred promise. You could hardly be more grateful for his mere existence.
Still, despite his love, the rituals, everything, your purity continued to slip, faltering, melting away until it was nothing. Once, you had been angelic, someone pure. Now, that past felt distant, unreachable. And in the Temple, though you had found a certain level of peace, you were never free from the whispers, gossips, even direct insults from people who thought they were above you, never looking at the plank in their own eye. At some point, you had grown accustomed to it, to the feeling of it eating you up inside. Impurity. Salvation was out of reach. Impure. Unworthy. And countless other things that led you to do things with your body that those people—and even Sydney himself—would be horrified by. But as long as you continued with your promise, it was fine. Everything would be fine.
Yet there was something strange today. It was supposed to be your chastity examination, a test for faithfulness, a rite you had gone through several times. As always, you passed it without a problem, but Jordan stopped you both before you could leave.
“We need you both to stay a bit more,” he said, voice calm but serious. He placed a hand on your shoulder, which drew your attention. “As such an important member of our flock, we’ve come to the conclusion that we cannot allow impurity to consume you. The holy water hasn’t worked, our prayers to the Lord seem weak. But there is something we haven’t tried.”
Jordan looked at Sydney, and Sydney looked back at him, confusion clear on his face. Whatever they had in mind, it was something they hadn’t discussed with him either. And it appeared to involve him as well.
A toned man appeared, dressed in monk’s robes, along with a lanky woman, also dressed in holy clothing. You knew them; you’d seen them around the Temple, always whispering secrets and things that, if you told anyone, they’d never believe you. The man gently took Sydney and you by the arms, bringing you close together, and instructed the woman to set both your robes aside, away from you both.
You were about to speak, to ask what the hell was going on, when the woman opened her mouth. “This is an ancient ritual, one rarely used in our history due to the reactions it often caused—both in those involved and in others—but the records show it to be effective. Capable of eroding any type of impurity within a person, thanks to their beloved. This, of course, depends on the love these two people have for each other and the purity that one’s betrothed holds within. If both are corrupt, the ritual will fail.”
“This requires willpower,” the man continued, “it’s not easy—not for most. But tell me, Sydney, do you love your partner?”
Sydney blinked, his confusion only growing. “Uh, y-yes, of course I do,” he exclaimed, certainty in his voice. “But I don’t really… understand what’s happening.”
“You are the only one who can help with the purification of your beloved,” the woman replied, a serious look on her face, “when conventional prayers and holy water don’t work, the only thing left is the pure essence of the person to whom the afflicted has sworn fidelity and eternal love—their betrothed. In this case, it is your urine. It’s a process of passing purity from one soul to another, from the most basic, bare self.”
This would explain why they had been so focused on giving him water throughout the daily tasks this particular Sunday, and why they interrupted him every time he tried to go to the bathroom. You were never far from him, and so you’d observed their curious behavior. Your partner, however, seemed not to have connected the dots.
Both your face and Sydney’s paled at the woman’s words, and while Jordan and the religious elders maintained entirely neutral expressions, both of yours quickly went from pale to progressively redder. Especially Sydney’s, whose gaze darted all around, to the floor, the walls, the ceiling—anywhere but your exposed body.
“Kneel,” the monk ordered, looking at you, and you, in your best judgment, obeyed. You knew that your beloved would not disobey an order from the temple, especially not with Jordan watching, even if that order was to piss on you. And they knew it too, it seemed, as it took barely a moment for him to position his hands on his cock, ready, in position, to begin the “purification,” or whatever this was supposed to be.
The boy swallowed, struggling to begin. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, focusing, and you found yourself doing the same, waiting for the moment—the moment the first drop would touch you.
Long seconds passed until finally, something warm touched your forehead. It was simple, a splash against your skin. You kept your head down, avoiding his gaze, and you assumed he wasn’t looking at you either. Just a slight sensation, which quickly turned into several small droplets. The poor boy was deeply uncomfortable with what he was doing to you, but he knew they were watching him.
Somehow, he managed to control his bladder and stop. You were about to wipe his urine from your forehead—without feeling any different, it was worth mentioning—but they stopped both of you.
“As you did before, you must do the same in their mouth. They must drink your essence. Please, continue; you do want your beloved to be saved, don’t you?” the nun asked, in such a way that Sydney had no choice but to continue, and more intimately than before.
“A-Are you… are you sure?” he asked, directed more to you than to those present, his voice soft, concerned. Jordan remained impassive. The other two did their best to appear the same way.
You sighed and nodded, feeling a strange dryness in your mouth. “Only this can purify me, and only you can do it. That’s what the Temple says. Let’s do this, my love.”
You held your breath, lips slightly parted, expectant. And he, with a simple sigh, focused himself to allow his urine to flow again.
He shuddered, and a drop once more landed on you, this time brushing your lips, your cue to open your mouth fully. More followed, warm, as if testing the waters. You couldn’t help but let your gaze wander over his body, seeing his face so distant from you, the face you adored kissing every day. He, for his part, avoided —or so he attempted— looking at you, completely embarrassed. And still, as the stream shifted from mere timid drops to a steady flow, you noticed it became harder for him to tear his gaze away from you, kneeling before him, at such a disadvantage. A position he would never exploit, and you knew it.
You allowed the taste to overwhelm your senses, your thoughts crashing into each other. It was difficult to describe—bitter, sharp. Certainly not like anything you had tasted before, or could compare to anything else you’d let touch your tongue.
A faint whimper escaped him, but he didn’t stop this time, unlike before. You could see his hand moving subtly, working his shaft, seeking to pleasure himself—a detail that, if you were honest, was so fucking hot. By this point, he definitely could not pull his tender, loving gaze from you, watching with awe how he was pissing in your mouth. His flow was steady, and you swallowed his essence, trying to let it sink into you, into your very core. His eyes closed briefly, his stream slowing, and finally, when you had grown accustomed to the strange warmth of it, he stopped, with a few last drops falling onto your tongue, which you didn’t waste.
You both looked at each other, and Sydney returned to his normal self, as if waking from a dream, feeling embarrassed but, at the same time, content.
“A-Are we done?” he asked. “I don’t know if I have any more… uh…”
Jordan smiled. “It is done. If it doesn’t work, we will need to continue, with even more extreme steps if necessary. Let’s hope that won’t be needed.”
The lanky woman and the toned man offered you both tissues, and after you wiped yourselves, your robes. You two left, hand in hand.
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