#youd have to sleep like a fucking rock to not hear it tho. what the hell
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this rain is fucking nuts its soooo damn loud it sounds like drilling or some shit. how is there this much water in the sky
#love rain sounds but this is VIOLENT girl i am trying to sleep im literally deaf u shouldnt be loud enough to disturb me wtf#i have to get up in six hours 😭😭😭😭#.diaries#just checked the forecast and 7.4mm rain expected to fall in the next hour um. okay can it do this during the day next time#i wanna dm my flatmate like U HEARING THIS GIRL?????????? except shes probably asleep by now and i dont wanna wake her accidentally#youd have to sleep like a fucking rock to not hear it tho. what the hell
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“hey this song reminds me of you…” MHA BOYS
songs they canonically would send you if they were interested (horikoshi approved)
izuku midoriya— be your man; H 3 F
he’s such a cutie, such a sweetheart. he says it reminds him of you, and then proceeds to send about fifty texts following before you can even respond (“i mean not romantic!! as friends!!” “unless you’d mean romantic” “but i’m not saying that!” “blech icky” “NOT SAYING YOUR EHICKY” “NO” “OKAY SORRY JUST IGNORE THIS HAHA(´⊙ω⊙`)”). he absolutely clearly means it in a romantic way, for someone who’s keeping the secret of the number one hero he is a bad mf liar.
runner up: japanese denim. he likes love songs, he thinks they’re kind and anything he hears that’s the slightest bit about love he’s gonna associate w you
katsuki bakugo— bitches; mindless self indulgence
he wants you to be bitches? he wants u to love him cos u know that he can rock?!!!!?!!!?!?! that he can rhyme?! that he can fuck?!!!! THAT HES ON TIME?! plain and simple. he does not say this reminds you of him, he does not link it with you in any way. he just randomly sends it (if even).
if you were really lucky he’d send you love me dead by ludo.
denki kaminari— natalie; HUNNY
he tells you to ignore the name, of course, (unless your name is natalie lol) but the whole rest of it is absolutely applicable. he’s very upfront about it. is acting a lot more reassured than he is but he’s literally about to shit himself he wants you so bad bro. he practiced ways to tell you it wasn’t for you / “he didn’t mean it like that, man” before he sent it to you just incase you rejected him lol.
right after you two confess he sends you teenage dirtbag by wheatus and says “fr felt it when they said whatever it was they said, anyway u free tmrw?!”
eijiro kirishima— someone to you; banners
ew this is so cliche. this man would be so cheesy, especially in the preemptive stages of a relationship. if he wants you, you know (i mean maybe not, he’s nice to a lot of people, but he clearly cares about you). he’s on brand fr, but he really, genuinely blares this shit at full volume in his earbuds and headbangs. this is fr how he feels…. he probably wouldn’t panic sending it, he doesn’t think it’s a big confession, he just thinks about you when he hears it so he wants to share.
a kiss; THE DRIVER ERA. his main reason for this one is “just the vibes man!!” he selectively pays attention to lyrics
hanta sero— love is only a feeling; joey bada$$
he’s corny and very transparent about it. he sends it to you like three days before he asks you out. he’s pretty confident, but he types and deletes ‘i’ve got a song that makes me think of you’ about five times before he sends it. i think he listens to a lot of music, but rnb and rnb rap are probably his romantic go to’s in my mind.
alternatively: me and your mama; childish gambino
shoto todoroki— on an evening in roma (sott’er celo de roma)- remastered; dean martin
idk i feel like he listens to a lot of really old pretentious shit. he likes the music, it helps him stay calm, it makes him feel warm. he thinks the instruments are nice when they swell just right, and he wants to share that with you. he has also definitely offered to take you on a trip w his dads money (i hate fanon characters but i absolutely thrive off the idea that shoto buys his s/o shit w his dads money)
also a high chance hed send scene one— james dean & audrey hepburn; sleeping with sirens and that makes me sick to my stomach it’s so cheesy. he’s not like a coward and once he figured out he had feelings for you, he’d be pretty blunt about it.
neito monoma— star killer; bear ghost
if you ask why it makes him think about you he’s gonna say some arrogant shit about how you want him. but actually this is a really good song and he for sure sings it in his bathroom mirror and checks himself out. how humiliating. idk what to say other than listen to it
alternatively: the ballad of big poppa and diamond girl; cobra starship. this song screams neito to me, if i could dance w him to this song life would actually be okay? the only reason i didn’t put it as the main is because i didn’t know if it was projecting, anyway THIS.
hitoshi shinsou— k; cigarettes after sex
this would lowkey be embarrassing for him tbh. this song feels so personal and intimate, if someone you weren’t dating said this reminded you of them, youd have to be really into them for it to not weird you out. however luckily you are really into him. he knows his point is gonna come across, and he’s confident behind it. he sent it as a way to say hey mf im into you, i know you’re into me
compass; the neighbourhood. he kinda listens to teenage girl music, he’s going through that phase. this song is so cute tho!! he’s kinda doting in a weird way, it’s sweet.
#mha x reader#my hero academia x reader#bnha x reader#izuku midoriya x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#denki kaminari x reader#kirishima eijiro x reader#sero hanta x reader#hanta sero x reader#todoroki shoto x reader#shoto todoroki x reader#midoriya x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#monoma x reader#monoma neito x reader#neito monoma x reader#shinsou x reader#hitoshi x reader#deku x reader#kaminari x reader#sero x reader#kirishima x reader#todoroki x reader#bnha hcs#mha hcs#midoriya hcs#bakugou hcs#todoroki hcs
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They say
( Coco Cruz x Reader )
a/n : this is how i cope, don’t mind me, i’m just breaking my own heart.
trigger warnings : none i don’t think? except heart break, sadness. ends happy tho. i think. maybe.
word count : 2.4k
They say that, if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be, if it doesn’t? well you just couldn’t accept that. You’d poured every ounce of yourself into him, you’d told him all your fears, all your pet peeves, all your insecurities, because you trusted him. You’d accepted all his weird quirks, all the strange habits he had that you looked past, youd accepted him for who he was, as you do when you love someone as much as you loved him. You supported him, mentally and physically, from up close and from far away. You encouraged him, reminded him of little things he easily forgot, you told him every day how proud you were of him, how loved and appreciated he was.
He used to do the same for you, used to. But at some point, he began holding back, he stopped doing things he started doing to win you over. You used to have a list of pet names hed call you when he babied you, now it was just ‘baby’ if he was in a good mood, or [Y/N]. You noticed it as soon as it started, you noticed everything. You knew he was stressed so you didn’t want to push it, but you also know that “stressed” was a norm for Coco, so you couldn’t wrap your head around it entirely. He started coming home later, crashing on the couch in hopes of “not disturbing your sleep.” it sounded like an excuse to you, and it hurt. it really fucking hurt you.
At some point, you’d had enough of your boyfriend distancing himself like that, ignoring your feelings, ditching you when you needed him, you couldn’t live that way, you wouldn’t. So, when he came home, you’d waited up for him, sitting at the small kitchen table you both used to enjoy your breakfast on every Sunday, now it stood empty, with nothing but a stack of newspapers from the passing weeks piled on it. With a bit of liquid courage crashing against the rocks of ice as you swirled the brown liquid around in the cup, your eyes felt red with fire, and your cheeks were stained with few dried tears that rolled down your face as your mind came up with the worst possible results you could imagine, all to which, came true. With a jingle of his keys in the lock, you straightened your posture, looking at him.
“What’re you doing up?” he asked her, that same vacant look on his face.
“I wanted to talk”
“it can wait till morning.”
“it really can’t.” with that, she was met with utter annoyance, and an obnoxious scoff that made her blood boil.
“go on then.”
“you’ve distanced yourself, so hard. I barely see you. We don’t sleep in the same bed, I can’t remember the last time you touched me, hell, even looked at me like you used to. What’d I do?” that was your go to, blaming yourself. It’s how you dealt with the unexplained.
“Get off my ass, [Y/N].” He dismissed you, you watched as he pulled off his kutte, and settled into the couch. You kept your eyes on him, murder on your mind. God he irritated you, you wanted to take his neck between your hands and wring it. Maybe that’d breathe some sense into him, if you deprived him of oxygen a little. But you didn’t need another felony charge, you inhaled deeply, balling your fists, the sting of your nails digging into the palm of your hand bringing you back from picturing all the ways you’d brutally murder him, out of love, of course.
If you loved someone... you’d refrain from strangling them, you turned from the spot you stood, and headed into the bedroom. You did the breathing exercises your therapist had taught you, but they worked only slightly. You grabbed a duffel bag, and started shoving clothing into it, as much as you could, you pushed all the belongings you’d need the next few days, and zipped it up. Pulling on a hoodie, you tossed the bag over your shoulder, and headed out. You walked passed him without a word, when you went to grab your car keys, you did the only petty thing you’d let yourself, trying to be the better person, you hid every single key to everything you had, knowing how easily he lost keys, you’d help him, in your own favour, however.
You left, and you didn’t look back. You couldn’t. The mere thought of Coco made you tear up, and it didn’t help that every tiny thing made you think about the lost love that still caused your chest to feel like it was about to concave. This wasn’t natural, you hadn’t felt like this, you were the queen of bottling up emotions, and ignoring them so you didn’t feel the pain of anything. But as you lived and breathed, everything reminded you of him.
You were in the middle of a girls lunch date, it’d been weeks since your seen your girlfriends since you’ve been trying to isolate yourself trying to get over this man, in the midst of drinking mimosas on the balcony of one of those entirely too fancy restaurants, you were laughing at highschool memories of your best friend who would start fights in the halls because she was bored, it was then, when a roar of motorcycles sped past where you were sitting, and it threw you into a whirl wind of emotions.
“make sure you hold on tight, mamas. Wouldnt want you to fall off.” the smirk heard in Coco’s voice sent a chill down your spine, being too intimidated by any sort of physical contact, usually, you usually ease yourself into it, but with Coco? It was brash and sudden, he started the bike, and gave you maybe a millisecond to grab a hold on him.
A little squeal forced its way out of your mouth as you quickly grabbed onto him, gripping onto your own hands, clinging to him. You buried your face in his shoulder. You felt him chuckle, and wanted to knock him out right then and there, but perhaps that wasn’t the best idea. It took you a moment, but once you opened your eyes, and watched as buildings, cars, people, hills and piles of dirt passed you by, trees whipping by. You felt yourself calm, you felt at peace. The wind flipped through your locks of hair, his scent filling your senses.
“This isn’t that bad.” you heard yourself admit in a soft mumble, you shut your eyes and felt the wind attack your face, balancing your inner battles with yourself. You felt peace in Coco, he tamed your chaos, and you his. God, what you’d give to feel like this all the time, but you only felt it with him.
You felt your throat burn, your bottom lip lodged itself between your teeth, and you did your best to fight the rage that tinged your eyes with tears. Your friends saw this, noticing immediately, the emotion that washed over your face, paling your features and dimming a smile that brought them laughter that lasted for days. You’d always been the group clown, with the loudest laugh, the brightest smiles, you were the one they’d all turn to when they couldn’t hold themselves up. You were a force to be reckoned with, you fought their battles when they couldn’t even hold themselves up. You never failed to show up with booze and ice cream to heal broken hearts. You brought things that made you think of friends, you remembered the finest details and came through every time. You listened to the quietest ones, heard every story, laughed at the lamest jokes. Seeing you with tears streaming involuntarily down your face as you tried to hide it, wiping them as fast as they came, it broke their collective hearts. They looked at one another, an unspoken question “how do you skip to the part of the storm that sprouts the flowers when the rain stops?”
Your relationship with sleep was toxic, it came and went as it pleased, your eyes were sunken, it was three A.M. and you felt your thoughts running through your mind a million miles a minute. Your head in your hands as another memory floated to the surface.
Panic overwhelmed you, hearing something, or someone, rustling around the kitchen, you grabbed the gun you kept tucked under your mattress. You cocked it, and took the safety off, holding it out in front of you in a defensive position. You opened your creaking door, the noise working at your nerves as you creeped into the kitchen where the only thing that illuminated the dark room was the bulb from the old white fridge. You watched silently as the head ducked from inside the fridge, you found it peculiar, but all you saw was a figure in your home you didn’t know. Getting closer, you held the barrel of the gun to the head of the man that stood in your kitchen.
“Hands up, Foo. Before I blow your brains all over my backsplash.” You threatened, your voice tense, and you were met with laughter that was all too familiar. Furrowing your brows, you were still panicked, not thinking straight. You shifted the gun so the bullet that was about to fly, only ripped through his hair. The shot rang loud, causing Coco, who you didn’t know was Coco, to crash to the ground.
“Crazy bitch!” he shouted, you flicked on the light, still having the gun pointed at him. Your eyes widened quickly, the man on your floor was Coco, and now there was a bullet lodged into your ceiling. You could kiss your security deposit goodbye, fuck, and you just shot at Coco. You put the safety back on, and set it on your counter before going to help him. A few minutes passed before both of you sat in fits of laughter, him mocking your voice, your words.
Coco told you so many times that the night you nearly shot him in the head, was the night he fell for you entirely. Sure, he’d known you were the one way before that. That night, though, he knew he was in love with you. That night he swore he’d break past your barriers, he’d demolish how you saw yourself, he taught you to love you, he made you promises to show you love like no other, and to show you that you didn’t have to be afraid of either physical and emotional aspects of love. He did do exactly that, but then ripped it away from her. Leaving her heart with him, and her chest feeling heavy with nothing. Once again tears were brought to your eyes, you were thankful for his love, but without it? you wished you’d never had experienced it in the first place. Maybe you wouldn’t be hurting now.
You were brought out of your train of thought by the knocking on your door, furrowing your brows, you got up from your spot on the counter, where you were thinking of better times, you looked through the peephole and it felt like someone took a vacuum to your weak lungs. Coco. Struggling to breathe proper, you just intended on ignoring him, it was the first time in months youd seen him and you didn’t know if you could handle it. Your heart screamed at you to let him in, he looked beat up, tired, and one of his eyes was bandaged up, he looked broken. you wanted to embrace him, forget the distance, but your mind scolded you, reminding you of the progress youd made, bouncing back from the pain oh so slowly. This could set it all back. So you decided, you wouldn’t open the door. He’s a big boy. You silently turn on your heel, away from the door.
“I’m sorry.” you heard him rasp, and you froze in your spot, a deer caught in headlights. You couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. “I know you’re there, I know you’re awake and I know you know it’s me. You have your kitchen light on, so I saw you stand on your toes to look through the peephole because you’re too short.” you cursed his observant ways, how well he knew you, like he had quirk notes tattooed on the back of his hand and read them like a bible. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice when you left, that I was too deep in my own world to see how me fading away for my own selfish needs was hurting you. I’m sorry I made it seem like I didn’t care, that it hurt you, I’m sorry that I made promises and broke them. I started thinking about things I never knew I wanted until you marched your stubborn self in my life and gave me a taste of a love that changed me. It scared the fuck out of me.”
That familiar burn of emotion lit up your head, and singed your chest. You let his words sink in, you couldn’t speak, not yet. Squeezing shut your eyes, you turned back to the door, setting your hand on the knob. You felt the door shift, like he’d gotten up from leaning his head against the poorly tinted wood. He got it, you could feel him prepare to walk away. If you love something, let it go. But Coco came back. He came back. You unlocked it, and turned the knob. Looking at him through sore eyes. “Running when you’re scared isn’t an option for me.” you said, defeat obvious in your voice. He stopped, turned to you and closed in quick. You pushed his hands away. “You can’t - You can’t just show me, tell me, and hold it to me that i shouldn’t shut you out, and i should trust you, and i should turn to you before anyone and anything else only to turn around and do that to me. You can’t do that and come running back.” you practically yelled at him, your voice shaking and raw.
“I know, I know I’m sorry.” he said, his hands dropping to his sides when you reached forward and yanked him in with all your might. The gesture was aggressive, sure. But pure.
“i’m sorry too.” you muttered, embracing him tightly.
—
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