#you've heard of blood-related generational trauma now get ready for the generational trauma of the sultanate of women

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

this shot of safiye with hürrem's ring on her finger reaching out to pull the cover away so she can see fahriye's face, just like hürrem did with cihangir years and years and years ago........... oughhhhh

[longtimenospooning-luci]

Azalea's, Camelia's and Rhododendron's: Chapter Five

Summary: Life always seemed to throw bullshit your way. A bullshit childhood, a bullshit family with the exception of your older brother, a bullshit bodyguard team because of aforementioned older brother… To say you were tired of it would be an understatement. You just wanted to bask in your self-made richness as a bestselling author, all by yourself being the key point, and pretend you're not doing it to avoid your trauma. But now you have to deal with seven incredibly hot, stubborn and frustrating men forcibly barging into your life against both of your wishes and ruining your peaceful silence. So, if they were going to be hardheads, you'll be one right back.

Pairing: Bts x reader, featuring older brother Bang Chan and a dickhead ex to be revealed later on.

Warnings: Descriptions of/Allusions to abuse, blood, toxic households.

Word Count: 3k

Taglist Form

"What made you want to become an author?"

The question stopped you in your tracks and you can tell Jimin notices it. No one had ever asked you that before outside of interviews or fan Q&A's. Not even your beloved brother. It was a painful subject, to which the truth you've never revealed. Now however, after everything that has happened. It makes you angry, like you want to set the world ablaze with the truth one person at a time.

To the rest of the world, you are a normal daughter of a high class family who chose to pursue her dreams in writing instead of following in her parents footsteps. Who were you to take that illusion away from people when you so desperately wished it was the truth? 

So, you told a generic story of that exact narrative illusion with a smile on your face, the camera's flashing away as the memories were breaking you inside. 

You had your last public appearance three months ago when Do-Yun's trial start date finally arrived. You masked the fear, the panic, the desperation and the despair of knowing he may walk free within the next few months. Standing up on a podium in front of hundreds of fans and reporters you told another generic, illusory lie about taking a break from media to focus on your next book, and you were met with love and support, hate and curses, invasive questions, and thousands of bright flashes that haunted your nightmares for weeks. 

"...Y/N?"

Snapping your head up to Jimin's concerned gaze, you take a deep breath in, realizing you had stopped breathing in your dazed state.  

"Sorry, what did you say?" 

He purses his lips as he takes in your body language, "I asked if you were okay?"

"Ah, yea I'm okay." You avert your gaze from his and turn your attention back to your plants. "I need to run a few errands today; can you go ask who is available to go with me?" You deadpan.

He seems surprised you even want to leave the house at all, but slowly nods his head and begins to turn back to the house. "I'll go with you, but I'll ask who else can go. Your brother set a condition in our contract of at least two guards when leaving the property." 

You almost want to roll your eyes at that, doing nothing but giving a noncommittal hum in return. Finishing up in the greenhouse and heading upstairs to your bedroom to get ready for the day shortly after Jimin's departure. 

"No."

"Oh come on, he's the only other person available." Jimin whines at you, Yoongi standing awkwardly next to him at the bottom of the stairs. Looking at the two of them from halfway down the steps, an eyebrow cocked disapprovingly. 

"I don't care, find someone to switch."

Damn you were stubborn. 

"Look I know we didn't have a pretty start to this, but we all specialize in certain abilities and everyone else has tasks they need to complete related to these abilities. We can't switch." Yoongi deadpans, a nonchalant look on his face.  

God that was the biggest piece of bullshit Jimin's ever heard come out of his hyungs' mouth, but he hopes like hell it will work. When he came inside to inform his brothers that you were going out today, they all began to plan on how to fix the train wreck of a relationship you had with them. Beginning with the two instigators, Yoongi and Jungkook, with the elder volunteering to go first. They had to work with you for at least one year per their contract, and if they were going to do that, they needed to get along with you.

"Fine, but I'm driving today. No protests from the peanut gallery if you don't want to deal with my shit the whole day. Got it?" Your heels clicked as you descended the stairs and past the two of them, sliding Saint Laurent aviators over your eyes. You meant it when you thought about setting fire with the truth, and you dressed for the occasion, feeling more powerful than you have in a long time.

The two could see the shift in your mood, they had never seen you this confident. When you had lunch with Madame Versace, they could tell you were comfortable in your skin, you knew you were pretty without anyone saying it. But this was different, this was the kind of confidence they see in someone who's powerful and know how to use that power.

Following you out to the multi-car garage you press a code into a keypad to a hanger they hadn't been into before. Each of the doors to your garage opened to single hangers unlike most multi-car garages that were open all the way through on the inside. So as a result, they had only used and been into one hanger for the SUV, while all visitors parked out in the driveway.

The door whirrs as it slides up and reveals an iridescent blue Audi R8, shocking the two men as you remote start the car and it roars to life. When you look back to tell them to get in and notice their expressions, you simply shrug. "I bought it with the settlement money from my dad's trial, it felt good to blow his money on things he would rather die than let me have. I printed out and sent him pictures of everything I bought with his money, you should have heard the voicemails he left from the prison phones when he received them."

Smirking to yourself you glide into the driver's seat and put the key into the ignition, fully starting the car. Jimin slides in next to you in the passenger's seat while Yoongi plops into the back, fastening their seatbelts as you begin to drive out of the garage and the engine purrs louder.

The three of you make the thirty-minute drive back into the heart of Seoul, even rolling down the windows and flooring it on the highway with Jimin hyping you up. Meanwhile, Yoongi was white knuckling the handles on the roof, eyes closed and screeching in your backseat that you all were going to die.

After practically torturing your older bodyguard most of the way, you smoothly steer the car into the parking garage of your publishing label. Putting the car in park inside a space, Jimin comes around the car to open your door and Yoongi tries and fails at getting out of the car in a dignified way. The two of you laugh as the older man trips and almost rolls onto the concrete, stumbling his way back to a standing position.

"You are never allowed to go over the speed limit again with me in the car." He states almost pleadingly while looking you in the eyes, sending you and Jimin into another fit of giggles.

After getting yourselves together you began to make your way into the building with the two men flanking your sides. You swipe a key card to call the elevator and step through the doors, pressing the correct floor and letting the doors slide closed. You notice the way Yoongi and Jimin have slipped into their professional personas, steeling their emotions and squaring their shoulders to portray imposing figures to the eyes of others.

When the elevator dings and the doors open you step confidently into the bustling office space. A few workers notice your presence and stop to give you a bow, greeting you as 'Pandora Jakga-nim.'

"Why are they calling you that?" Yoongi questions out of earshot of others.

"You should really be more knowledgeable of your client Mr. Min." You fire back, "It's my pen name."

"Your brother didn't tell us that you had a pen name."

Choosing to ignore him you continued to make your way through the building until reaching Hwasa's office, knocking on the open door.

She greets you happily and the both of you fall into a comfortable routine after you sit on the visitors' side of the desk. The boys close the door behind them and stand on either side of it, watching over the two of you.

"I brought the final draft to the last book." You say, pulling a USB out of your bag and sliding it over to her.

"Already!? We haven't even released the second book yet and you managed to finish the last installment in less than six months!?" Her eyes are blown wide in shock as she picks up the drive.

"I've had lots of time to write since I stepped back from the public. Which is why I'm leaving this in your capable hands, I'd like to release a statement that I'm going to work on another book."

She looks at you incredulously upon hearing your intentions, "What do you mean work on another book? You haven't told me of any plans for after the 'Youth' series."

"I actually decided to go for it recently." Giving a small smile to the woman in front of you, "This book is something that I've actually been writing since I was young, and I feel like now is the time to show it to the world."

You watch as she looks you over silently for a bit, almost worried she would tell you no and to write a development plan first. However, she simply shrugs, "Fuck it, we'll deal with the fallout later. Write that shit, you know I've got your back." A full grin is on her face by the end of her reply, and you mirror her with excitement.

Turning back to the boys with a grin, you see a smirk on Jimin's face.

"Where to next, Miss Bang?"

When Jimin asked you 'Where to?' he was not expecting you to drive the three of them to a mansion in the inner suburbs of Seoul. Punching in a passcode to the drive gate, the wood panel slides back into the concrete walls standing tall around the house like a prison.

"What is this place?" He questions you, taking a good look at the abandoned home in front of him as you park the car.

"The Bang family manor." His head whips over to you as you stare blankly in front of you, hands gripping the steering wheel tight.

Turning to face him you take a deep breath and speak, "You asked me this morning what made me want to become an author. In my entire career my answer has always been the same, and it's also a lie. I've never told a soul the truth to that question, so tell me, do you truly want to know?"

Dark eyes pierce you as he ponders your response, and finally he gives a resolute nod. Turning to look back at Yoongi, you nod your head to the house with a simple, "Let's go, I'll need the both of you for this."

Stepping into the grand foyer, the crystal chandelier above your heads is draped in a dust sheet, much like the rest of the furniture in the home.

"I want you two to walk in and tell me what you see."

They look at you confused, but you simply nod them on to the task. Everything within the living room screams luxury, hand crafted ornate rugs, antique vases and crystal decanters, a large painted family portrait featuring younger versions of the Bang siblings. Nothing seemed out of place apart from the dust and draped sheets.

Yoongi speaks first, "I don't understand, what is it that you want us to see?"

A sad smile appears on your face, "It's not what you see, but what you don't see that I want you to notice. Tell me, do you see family holiday photos anywhere? Do you see photo albums on the shelves? Graduation Photos? Family movies or games in the entertainment center?"

The two bodyguards overlook the room a second time and find each thing you list missing, as if a family never existed in this space, and no one would know they did if not for the portrait. You tell them to follow you after a moment and lead them up the stairs to a closed room. You hand Yoongi the key, and he notes that you stand outside the doorway when they enter the office.

"This was my father's office; I want you to tell me what you see again."

The unease Yoongi senses from you makes sense now that he knows what the room is, and he studies the space carefully with the guide of the objects listed from the previous room.

"Why is this the only room without a rug?" Jimin questions, completely unrelated to the parameters Yoongi had thought they were under.

"Oooh, look at you go. Five points to Mr. Park for catching the subtle difference. But we'll come back to the answer to that in a second, there's a second half to it."

Putting your attention back on Yoongi, you give the next instructions. "Yoongi, inside that large red book on the shelf is a key to the safe under the desk. Take it and open it up."

The man moves as you said and finds the book is actually a secret storage box, taking the key and finding the metal safe embedded in the desk to look like a drawer, he opens it up.

The gasps the two let out are horrified, and they can only imagine the horror you must feel even being near this room again. Inside the safe sits bottles of cleaner with bloody fingerprints all over them and a red stained rag, accompanied by a half empty bottle of distilled water. The final piece of the ensemble a rolled up blood-stained belt, whittled down into a makeshift whip.

"I knew he was an asshole but this... How did no one know all these years?" There's pain in Jimin's eyes as he looks at you, and you don't want to tell him it's because you had to hide to survive.

You ignore the pain in your chest and his comment, "Coming back to your observation Jimin, tell me, why do you think this is the only room without a rug?"

It's silent for a second as their minds buffer the horrific possibility that they don't want to say, only to have it confirmed. Yoongi clears his throat, and braves to step in the darkness of your reality.

"You can't clean the blood out of the rugs."

Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner. How incredibly fucked up is that.

"Wow, look at what a smart cookie you are. He took out the rug around the time I entered high school, the stains were still there even after he made me scrub it for a whole day. I had to roll it up and carry it to the backyard to burn with my back split open from the buckle of his belt."

Yet again they have nothing to say at the despicable shadows that eclipse your past. They feel heartbreak, anger, sadness, and a want for vengeance.

"Come on, there's one last thing." Turning on your heels you stride down the hallway to your old bedroom, opening the door and plopping down on the bed.

The boys enter and immediately start looking for clues and it makes you want to giggle at their furrowed brows.

"This is my old room; you don't have to scan for clues here."

Getting up from the bed you walk over to the large bookcase against the wall. Patting it, you look over at the boys and instruct them to slide it over.

"Do either of you have a knife or something like it?"

Confused, Yoongi raises his hand slightly. "I have a pocketknife?"

"That will work perfect, these boards here are loose. Use it to pull them off." Pointing out several wooden floorboards where the bookcase sat, Yoongi wedges the tip of his knife in the worn spots he can see from where you pulled them up previously.

Inside the space between the floors and the foundation are drawstring bags that Jimin reaches in to grab and set them down in the room. Opening one he finds it full to the brim of dated white envelopes, some thicker than others and some of those rubber banded to other thick ones. The two sort through the bag and open the others in curiosity after finding nothing but the letters, every bag just like the first. Finally, they look to you for answers as you pick up a few and read the dates for yourself.

"Inside each of these envelopes are pictures of the abuse I experienced at the hands of my father, and a letter recounting what happened or what I could remember of it. Each one represents a separate event and they date all the way back to when I was twelve."

Yoongi drops the envelope in his hand like it burned him, it was a banded one with the same date on both of the hefty envelops. He can only imagine the damage that was caused to require that many photos to document everything.

"Jimin, you wanted to know my reason for becoming an author? This is it. I wanted to ruin everything he built, and I needed evidence to do it, so I started writing these and taking pictures so I could show the world who he really was."

The man nods his head, eyes trailing over hundreds of pieces of the puzzle that makes up you. Clicking each one into place within his mind to begin to see the picture of the truth.

"Do you really want a fresh start with me Yoongi?" Eyebrows raised as you question his determination.

"I do. I regret it and I wish I could take it back, but I have to settle for making it right and I want that."

Sighing, you let out a determined nod and pick up a bag, slinging it over your shoulder.

"If you really want to make it right with me, then help me take down that bastard from the inside out. Starting with these."

There's a smirk on his face when you say this, and he finds himself almost excited to deal some pain to the people who have hurt you. He picks up the envelopes he dropped earlier and place them back in the bags. Picking up one for himself and handing the other to Jimin, they share a look of wicked excitement, turning back to you simultaneously with their minds steeled.

"Yes, Ma'am. I'll gladly make this right."

Jakga-nim: Formal address of a writer

If your username is in red it means I couldn’t tag your account, please contact me so I can try to fix it! 💜

Taglist: @emu007 @childfmoonn @candied-lavender @silscintilla @sporadicfuryface @definetlythinkimanalien @btsizlyfe @yoongiigolden @chim-possible @ayoo-bangtan @janiva @devilsbooksworld @backinblack1967 @missseoulite @miraxflor @memerswrites @schokoshaker @simpforhawanghyunjin @simpforhyunjinniw @zae007live