#you're not actually cool or hot and hot over you but are too sweet to tell you'

[showsandstuff]

Am I the only one who is disappointed with Caitvi in season two? When I watched the first season I had the biggest caitvi brain rot because they actually gave me SUCH a fun dynamic with them. Buddy cop Caitvi was hilarious, I loved that so so much!

And season 2 started of strong imo but then it rushed through everything. I loved the scene in the cell, obviously, but it was misplaced. Your sister is about to kill herself girl what are you doing this is not the time!! And other than romantic and sexual tension there wasn't all that much left of their previous dynamic aside from the brief scene in episode six...

Idk, I think I'm just annoyed. Usually when I see a non canon gay ship get more traction than the Canon lesbian couple, I just assume it's misogyny or lesbophobia, and move on with my life. But I can't even do that here because Caitvi was WAY more popular in season 1 (as they should).

Jayvik isn't getting somewhat more popular in season 2 because people don't like lesbians, but because their arcs are connected so strongly to each other. (Also I'm not saying that Jayvik is now more popular than Caitvi, but it's like a graph where the super high stocks caitvi are still even while Jayvik is skyrocketing rn)

Wanna know why Jayvik wasn't all that popular in season 1? Because (after act 1) their arcs were mostly separate, safe for a couple of moments. Viktor worked on his body and Jayce was doing politics.

Caitlyn and Vis arcs intertwined more, they actually did shit together and it was beautiful, funny, romantic, EVERYTHING!

Also a fun opposites attract buddy cop dynamic is also just more fun than men who do science together (in my personal opinion)

Now let's look at Caitlyn and Vis relationship in season two.

It starts of strong. I momentarily thought that Caitlyn was uncharacteristically mean to Vi when she refused to become an enforcer, but she apologized for it later and I recognized the fact that Caitlyn was grieving. Then once we get to episode two and three I could already feel their relationship being a bit more odd. The kiss (though I cheered) didn't feel right. I felt like something was missing, and that was their chemistry from season one. Also I feel like we glossed over too many decisions that Caitlyn made, and I think Vi should've put a stop to it sooner. But overall I was okay with them in act 1.

Then we had a timeskip and the two were fully separated. Act 2 literally started with Caitlyn in bed with another woman, like we can see they're not together anymore. Caitlyn has obviously changed, there is not much of the sweet cupcake left that we had come to love in season 1, and Vi is boxing and getting drunk.

Then they meet and like... Vi calls Cait cupcake, and Cait switches sides IMMEDIATELY? GIRL WTF?!

I get that Caitlyn wasn't entirely on Ambessas side the entire time, but I had hoped for more drama first. So you're telling me the very next interaction the two have after their heart wrenching falling out is them making up again? Come on.

Then we had act 3 and overall it was better I think but the timing of their hot scene in the cell was just odd, like what about your sister about to kill herself? I was very happy and hyped in the moment but then I realized how rushed this was. Why? Why make em fuck right here? And in the final act, the two weren't together because again, their arcs were not as connected. And that's actually pretty cool to have a couple who do their own things! But it doesn't help their relationship when they, in turn, aren't given enough time to develop as a pair!

I feel like season 1 did this incredible job of setting these characters up, showing us why they work so well together and why they would fall for one another. And season 2 gave us pay off for it but with very little set up, which was needed because of how Cait changed throughout the season. I don't mention Vi here because she did not change. She had her drunk boxing phase, which we got nothing but a montage off, but everything else is basically season 1 Vi aside from very few things here and there. Like her becoming an enforcer wasn't a character change for Vi, her finally letting go of powder and calling her sister Jinx, wasn't a big character moment for Vi, they were pay off for a set up we didn't get enough of.

SO TO GET TO MY POINT:

S2 was rushed. We should've AT LEAST gotten 3 seasons, like minimum, because there was a whole lot of plot and very little moments in between for characterization. Especially for Caitlyn and Vi and their relationship to each other.

I still generally prefer Caitvi to Jayvik, but only because of season 1. Season 2 gave me the two things I wanted most (a sexy scene and a kiss) but forgot to give me the things that made me fall in love with this ship in the first place.

Which was the hilarious buddy cop dynamic of rich girl cop Cait, and broke butch prisoner Vi.

[eccentricallygothic]

I am half asleep but older boyfriend!Ghost who makes you so shy but you love his big dick so…

Warning(s): Age gap, size kink, praise kink, unprotected p-in-v, doggy style, d/s vibes, intimidation kink, teasing, humiliation kink, slapping (nether regions), Simon's BDE, his dick is BIG, allusions to painal. MDNI.

. . . 

“Well,” Simon half turns on his heels, voice guttural and breathing somewhat labored because of how his hand strokes his member that is rock hard from the knowledge of what he is about to do to you. “Get on there, then” his ripped body is huge as he stands beautiful in all his glory in the middle of you and the bed that his head cocks towards. 

Your cheeks burn and though you are more than ready to climb the bed in the primal position of choice to present your own naked body to him to use, you avoid his darkened eyes. A whimperish hum is all you can let out while you chew on your bottom lip and scuffle to the bed. 

“Just like that, good girl” Simon praises you by a sharp smack to your ass that makes your tense and embarrassed form jump with a squeak. His fingers hurriedly dart down to fondle at the bruise the strike will make. A shiver sizzles past your lips and your eyes roll to the back of your head at the feeling of the pain multiplying in his grip due to how he kneads your skin. 

“Now let's see this about here” he doesn't like how narrow your kneel is. So he roughly pulls one bent leg away from the other and you nearly fall face first into the mattress but your arms support you. “Where is she?” Your heart is thumping in your ears from how humiliating the manner in which he ‘taps about’ to locate your sopping cunt is like he doesn't know it. 

A loud and nearly fearful gasp leaves you when you feel his leaking tip rub against your pucker, causing for your poor little hole that has had its fair share of disciplining at the hands of the unfair and firm impaler that tries to kiss it like a perverted lover making it recoil in defense and blink up at Simon who is busy warming up your core with strict, rapid claps against your folds. 

“Ah…” He drawls out the cool exclamation as he gropes and squeezes your petals, making you whine and your arms give up, causing for the upper half of your body to collapse into the mattress. “There, there” Simon coos uncharacteristically to comfort you when you begin to whine when his heavy tip begins to peel into your tiny hole that puts up a vain resistance. “Almost there, you're doing so well, sweets” though his scarred fingers flex over the soft skin of your back before they caress the lower region, you are still moaning and gurgling on your own spit because penetration with Simon is always a tough sport.

“O- Ouchieee~” you whimper when his tip has successfully fought itself asylum between your gushing walls that burn just as hot as your loins. Though Simon can't see you, he can vividly imagine the pout on your lips and soft scrunch of your eyebrows.

You are such a baby and he loves it. Always shyly nuzzling into him and whispering requests in his ear for his dick only to sob up a mess when it comes to actually taking his cock. 

Simon growls when the base of his tip gives you your first meanie stretch -as you call it- and he feels your insides move around his hard skin. “Ah, fuck, look at that” he is trying so hard to be considerate of your young, priorly inexperienced and sensitive body but the visual of your pucker frenzily reacting to his cock sheathing itself in you is almost too much even for the Simon Ghost Riley to handle. 

“Such a crybaby” though it's meant to be a tease on his part, his rough voice and thick accent makes it sound like a scold and to protect your poor band from ripping around his girth, the older man decides to take his frustration out on your attention seeker of an asshole that bats itself at him constantly. “Tsk, spoilt little dirt hole.” 

“Owie!” Your voice is muffled and weak when Simon's fingers begin to give mean pats to your even smaller hole in hurried intervals and the pain and embarrassment makes you clench your bottoms so hard that your cheeks not only harden under his cruel wrath but your pussy sucks him inside until he is pulled against your ass, his heavy sack colliding with your petals.

It's in, and you're on.

Simon makes handlebars of your hair by dividing it on either sides of your head and wraps the pigtails around his large fingers until they look like some odd galaxy buns.

And then he begins to pound.

. . .

MASTERLIST 

[dumpywrites]

Wanna See My Cat? - Min Yoongi / Suga

Prompt: “Do you wanna see my cat?” You're not actually lying but he thinks it's a sexual innuendo.

Prompt request: HERE

Genre/tags: Fluff, situationship-ish

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

a/n: I was contemplating on whether to actually add smut to this but I decided not to cause it's cuter this way and I think we could all agree there're plenty of bts smut but not enough fluff here! :D

Situationship was a funny concept. Either you commit or not, that was what you believed. Which was why you were not precisely proud to say that you was now in fact in one. 

In your defense it had only been what, three? Four weeks? A month or so? Min Yoongi was this nice guy your acquaintance introduced you to. Gentle, could be hilarious when he wanted to, and cute. Although he could be a little emotionless at times, mostly he was a really sweet guy and you liked him a lot. In your other defense, you did not believe what you had with him could be called as a situationship. It was just what your friends had been teasing you about. 

In the whole time of knowing him, you had been to total of three dates. The first being a casual “are you free for dinner after work?” kinda date, second a movie date, and third being a very chill cafe date. And in your opinion, you enjoyed all of them, you had the greatest of time chatting and spending quality time with him. But your friend kept teasing you otherwise. 

Apparently your dates were considered too boring, too innocent for today’s dating world standard. You had not even had your first kiss yet and one of your friends was already asking about his size. Evidently, wanting to take things slow was a crime nowadays and you were lowkey getting annoyed. 

Today though, your park date was cancelled due to the rain. You kept cursing to yourself at home when you saw Yoongi’s text telling you to do a literal rain check, seeing the thunderstorm. The outfit that you bought especially for the occasion failed to see the outside world. 

As you stood in front of the mirror, seeing the reflection gave you a weird idea. A small Siamese cat walking past your feet, meowing adorably. Your pet cat, Zuko. A cat whose existence wasn’t known by Yoongi yet. The lightbulb above your head lightened up. 

“Do you wanna see my cat?” You sent the text. 

**

Yoongi texted you to let you know that he had arrived at your place. You recalled last time he picked you up it took him around fifteen minutes but this time he only took ten. You wondered what made him arrive a lot quicker. 

You were giddy with excitement and took a screenshot to tell your friend. Instead of being excited and giddy for you, your friend sent a bunch of side-eye emojis. Well, they could be just teasing you but the chat bubble following afterwards had you wondering. 

“Woo! Give me a rating score later!!!” 

You crooked your head in confusion, but there was no time to ponder on your friend’s riddle when Yoongi was already waiting for you to open the front door. 

“Hey.”

That hey definitely did not have to sound that deep and hot. You had to gulped your saliva down upon seeing him in his comfortable clothes. Since when did wearing sweatpants and baggy t-shirt looked so good? And did he just had his hair cut or was it just you? So many questions pilling up in your head. 

You knew it was game over when he went in for a hug. Heavenly was the only words you could use to describe his smell. It was a mixture of his shampoo and his laundry detergent, and his intoxicating smell. It seemed like he didn’t even use any perfume. 

“What should we eat?” You said while smiling giddily. 

“I’m kinda craving some instant ramen?” He looked at you while lifting a shopping bag filled with a few packets of noodles. 

Your eyes beamed. “That sounds really nice actually with the weather and all.” 

“Alright cool.” He nodded. “Let’s cook?”

Yoongi was being extra touchy. You were boiling the water and he would swiftly grab the chopsticks in front of you from behind, making you feel his chest. You fully knew well that he could easily grab the utensils without doing that, but for some reason the demons were working hard at the moment. He even leaned his chin over your shoulder as you were chopping some sausages. At this point he could be doing it on purpose for all you knew. 

He did not stop when you both started to eat. From the smooth wiping your lips from food to feeding you. Who was this person and what had he done to Yoongi you might never know. 

Right after washing the dishes and escaping a few of Yoongi’s teases, you both chilled on the sofa. As you browsed through Netflix, you could sense him scooting closer to you. You could feel his body warmth that automatically made yours grew hotter as well. 

“What are we watching?” He asked with a husky voice. By this point he was hugging your waist and rested his body weight on you. 

“I was thinking some action? You love those right?”

“I do.” 

You paused. Why was the tone of his voice sounded slightly off and why was he looking at you funnily?

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

He broke into a small smile. “Nothing.”

“Stop or I’ll make you watch Puss in Boots!” You whined. 

And then it hit you. The cat! You were too busy being swayed, head in the clouds, fantasizing, that you forgot why he was initially visiting you in your apartment.

“My cat!” You exclaimed loudly, which made Yoongi jumped and sat back up from his position. 

You missed the look of confusion in Yoongi’s face as you ran quickly to your room to pick up the furball in your bedroom. 

“I can’t believe I forgot about him!” You chuckled with your pet now in your arms. “He doesn’t like roaming around, he mostly sleeps in my room.”

Yoongi just looked at you, quizzically. As if he could not believe his eyes. 

“Meet Zuko!” You smiled, proudly showing your cat. “Zuko, meet Yoongi.” You giggled and shoved the cat to the man’s hands. 

He stared at the cat blankly for a good few seconds before gently petting the creature’s head. 

“Uh, hi.” He said, sounding lightly awkward. “He’s actually really cute.”

“I know right!” You grinned. “Do you wanna hold him?”

“Sure.” He said, sounding a little unsure. 

The man sat down with your cat on his lap, slowly stroking the soft white fur of its tiny body. You bent down, sat on the carpet on his knee level to pet the cat. Somehow seeing you smile lovingly at the cat made Yoongi’s lips curled into a soft smile as well. 

“You’re adorable.” Yoongi said. 

“He’s the cutest cat, I know.”

“No, I mean you.” 

“Oh.” You shyly looked away, hoping the nervous giggles did not give it away. “Thank you.” 

Yoongi chuckled and huffed a sigh. “I can’t believe there’s actually a cat.”

“Huh?” You crooked your head to the side, wondering what the guy meant by that. “Of course there is? What do you mean?”

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” He laughed. “You don’t know?”

“Uh, no?” 

He ruffled your hair and laughed again, this time a little bit louder than before. You were still stunned, too confused to process when he quickly pulled you in and kissed your forehead. Suddenly you did not want to protest about how messy he just made your hair. 

“It’s alright, maybe next time.” 

You covered your face with both of your palms.  “What’s with you today?!” You said with your hands still covering your face. 

“I like you.” He shrugged. “Might not be the most animated guy out there so I’m just letting you know.”

“Yeah, which is why I’m so confused with you today???” You said with flushed face. “Oh my god, that’s not the point though! I like you too!”

He chuckled. “Let’s just get back to the movie?”

The vibe after that conversation calmed down. Maybe it was the whole letting-the-cat-out-of-the-bag thing on your feelings making the air less thick. You ended up just cuddling, snuggling to each other while watching The Notebook. You both hated romance movies, but somehow finished the entire movie anyway after you misclicked it in the first place. It was nice and warm being in Yoongi’s arms and you were afraid you wouldn’t want to ever let go. 

And it was finally time for him to go home. Crazy how you did not notice the time went by so fast. Heck, you didn’t even notice the screen was already playing another movie. How could you when Yoongi was caressing your hair ever so gently? Goodness gracious. 

“Hey, I have to go now. Meeting in an hour, remember?” He tapped your shoulder. 

“I’m not letting you go.” You whined, hugging him tighter. 

He laughed. “Silly, I can come again tomorrow.”

You sat back up and looked at him. “Really???”

“I mean yeah, you don’t have work on Sunday, right?” He smiled. “If you want to, that is.”

“I want to.” You giggled. 

He flashed his gummy smile one more time before getting up from your couch. You walked with him to the door and waited for him to grab his jacket. The whole time you were stalling, asking him the most random questions, and made the silliest remarks. You just didn’t want him to go home yet, especially after finding out that he liked you too. 

“As much as I’d love to talk more about how much I disliked the whole education system, I really have to go now.” He chuckled. 

“Okay.” You pouted. You watch as he got up from tying his shoelaces. 

He huffed a sigh and smiled. “Come closer.”

You did as told without thinking and in a quick seconds, somehow you were pulled into a soft kiss. It was a soft peck and you could feel his smile through it. He didn’t gave you a chance to react as he swiftly let go. 

“See you tomorrow?” 

“Come on…” You whined again and covered your face in awkwardness, and he could only laugh at you. “Go! Before I lock you up!”

“I’ll text you.” He waved and you finally closed your door. 

You found yourself giggling and smiling to yourself like an idiot. This was new. Whatever in the fresh hell was that, you couldn’t lie to yourself that you were into this somewhat bold and flirty side of him. 

You casually walked back to your couch and switched the tv to youtube. As you let random science podcast video play, you decided to check your phone, realizing you had not text your friend back yet. 

“What do you mean by giving a score?”

Your friend replied almost too immediately. You were shocked to see the usage of caps lock. 

“YOU DIDN’T KNOW??????!!!!! WTF???”

“Okay, explain?????”

“Poor Yoongi has to deal with your dumbass 😔” 

“Shut up 🖕🖕🖕”

“It’s a code. You say that instead of asking to come over and have sex. Basically the new netflix and chill.”

“… okay. OKAY???!!!!!!”

“Bestie, did something happen though??? 😍”

“SO THAT’S WHY HE TOLD ME HE WAS SURPRISED THAT THERE WAS ACTUALLY A CAT???? OMFGGGGGG!!!!!! ASFDKSPSKSG 😭😭😭”

You put down your phone to muffle your tiny scream with your knuckles. You recalled him mentioning a next time. Then you also recalled him wanting to come over again tomorrow. Needless to say, it was finally time to let out that one cute underwear you had been keeping in your drawer for months.

Thank you for reading! 🐈‍⬛💕

[waynes-multiverse]

Ok hear me out. I got this idea after the episode of Dean getting his "virginity" back and hooking up with the porn star when he's digging through her dresser and finds the DVD of her ANYWAY

Best friend Dean who's been pining after you for sooo long but doesn't want to fuck it up and lose you. You're hanging out when you ask him to go grab something from your room and he's digging through your drawers looking and accidentally comes across some lingerie and now it's days later and he's so hot and bothered cuz he can't think of anything else (the boy has a serious panty kink lets be honest) and you catch him in your room going through your drawers again and OH

A/N: As I warned y'all, this is a longer DD because, well, the prompt was long, so it's not really my fault. All that backstory took on a life of its own, but I think no one will be mad about it 😅 Again, I had tons of fun with this one! You'll see 🤣

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Warnings: +18/NSWF, a ridiculous heat wave, friends to lovers (Wayne's Version), crack, a panty kink, some sneaky fluff, and some hot lovin' aka smut (oral f & face sitting)

Word Count: 4.5k (whoops)

Main Masterlist || Dirty Drabbles

Cruel Summer

“You open the beaches on the 4th of July, it’s like ringing the dinner bell for Christ’s sake…”

As Jaws flickered across the screen in the Dean Cave, the green-eyed hunter adjusted himself in his seat. Usually, he had perfect control over himself and his feelings for you.

But on some days – like today – when you sat right next to him on the couch in nothing but a loose t-shirt and some short sweatpants, fanning yourself with an old magazine of Busty Asian Beauties as beads of salty sweat collected on your forehead and trickled down your neck, you made it hard for him.

“God, I’m so hot,” you sighed exhaustively and sunk further into the couch cushions, lifting your shirt from your sticky skin to let some cool air to your boobs as a heat wave ravaged through Kansas.

Painfully hard.

“Dean?” You pouted with your best puppy dog look at your best friend.

“Huh?” Dean was in trance, watching you more than the movie, always on the edge of getting caught one of these days.

“We’re out of Sour Patch Kids. I have more in my nightstand. Can you get them for me please?” you asked sweetly. “I don’t wanna move. I might actually die from heat exhaustion.”

Dean sighed and wordlessly rose from his seat. He knew you always kept an array of salty and sweet midnight snacks in your room in case you got hungry and didn’t want to wander into the kitchen in the middle of the night.

Moreover, he was grateful for the break. God knows he couldn’t stand to be around you any longer, or he would’ve been too tempted to rip your clothes off and really make you sweat.

I’ll show her a damn heat exhaustion, he thought with a scoff.

Hastily grabbing the desired snack, his green eyes then caught something red and lacy sticking out from the first drawer of your dresser. The hunter knew the decent and honest thing would’ve been to just keep moving and leave your godforsaken room.

Turn around, as Bonnie Tyler sang. But for some reason, his bright eyes couldn’t resist, his curiosity overtaking him.

Dean opened the drawer with the intention to push the naughty little clothing item back into its place and out of sight. Get rid of the temptation, so to speak. It sounded like the perfect loophole. He got to touch it and look at it, but for a very heroic and noble reason – not because he was a creepy perv, violating his best friend’s privacy.

On some level, Dean knew he’d never stand a chance with you. He wasn’t good enough. He had so much baggage all his suitcases wouldn’t even fit into the bunker.

A damn touch of a pair of panties you weren’t even wearing was all he would ever get from you.

But then his fingers touched the soft and see-through material, his pads tracing every delicate scarlet thread with precision and care. It was game over for him then and there, cursing himself internally for not resisting harder as his cock twitched joyfully in his jeans.

Dean had laid his eyes on you the second you strolled with swinging hips into that diner in Wichita for your very first case together, a werewolf hunt six years ago. And he had managed to get by without an incident for years since then, even when you moved into the bunker, being rather proud of that achievement. He never wanted to lose you as a friend and didn’t dare to cross a line. Ever.

Recently, though, it became more difficult to keep his distance and not let his thoughts wander. His feelings were magma that slowly had filled a volcano over the years. Each time you did something sexy or sweet or goofy or smart, another drop was added. And now, that damn fire mountain was overdue for an eruption – no thanks to that stupid heat wave.

“Thanks,” you said absentmindedly as the hunter handed you the candy but didn’t settle back down. Instead, he stood behind the sofa and leaned his hands on the backrest.

What you didn’t know, though, was that Dean was sporting quite the boner and wouldn’t dare to come into your line of view. He was surprised he could even walk up straight and not like a caveman early in the evolution.

A hunter gathering panties.

“I’m gonna hit the hay,” he told you with a somber clear of his throat. As the fan carried a breeze of your perfume to his nose, his grip tightened on the couch.

You turned in your seat and looked over your shoulder at him, raising a surprised brow. “Already? But the movie’s not over.”

“Yeah, I’m beat,” he excused and tried his best not to look strained. He forced a tight smile to his lips while his little dude celebrated Spring Break in his jeans. “‘Sides, we’ve seen Jaws like a million times now, Y/N.”

It was a cherished summer tradition between the two of you, watching it every 4th of July.

“I guess so.” You shrugged disappointedly, watching your best friend retreat to his room. Truth was, you loved spending time with Dean and held those little traditions close to your heart.

The Winchesters were your family, the only one you ever had. And while some families wore matching pajamas on Christmas morning, you watched the first two Die Hard movies. You would watch Dean’s favorite horror movies on Halloween. Sixteen Candles and High Fidelity on your birthday, Tombstone and The Great Escape on Dean’s, and some lame-ass foreign language documentaries that you both snored through on Sam’s.

Valentine’s Day was a dreaded non-holiday for all three of you, but for the past four years, someone would leave a box of chocolate in front of your door. The salted caramel ones would always be missing, and it always came with the same Forrest Gump quote:

I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.

You knew the anonymous someone was Dean, and you knew he meant it as a joke. Still, you clung to those little traditions. They might seem silly and stupid to some, but to you, they were your lifeline in a world full of darkness.

So, you felt rather saddened Dean didn’t seem to honor them anymore. It wasn’t just Jaws, either. He’d been withdrawing from you for a while, and you didn’t understand why.

Unbeknownst to you, the green-eyed hunter had kept a lacy souvenir from your room.

Now, Dean had managed to avoid you for four days. Every night since his stealthy excursion, he would lie in his bed with your stolen panties in one hand and his throbbing length in the other, feeling goddamn pathetic for sinking so low.

It was probably so low that even his memory foam mattress would remember it.

With closed eyes, he then imagined how the perky globes of your ass would look like covered in crimson lace. How you would stretch out on his bed on all fours, with your ass high in the air and wiggling in front of him. How his fingers would push the wicked material aside to push into you, taking you deep and hard while you moaned his name.

As he ruined tissue after tissue, the guilt would wash over him as soon as he was done. Call it a post-nut epiphany.

Dean knew it was wrong to think those things. He knew he only made it harder for himself to ever look you into the eyes again. Hell, he barely could do it now, even though a part of him audaciously wondered what other treasures were hiding in that drawer of yours. And more pressingly, what ultimate wealth he would find beneath your clothes. If your lingerie was gold, he’d be a creepy-ass dragon sitting on it.

So, Dean tried to avoid you as best as possible. Mostly because, well…

“God, fuck me,” you groaned exhaustively and opened the refrigerator door, leaning against it as the refreshing cold hit you from behind. On top of that, you held a big bag of frozen peas to your sweaty chest. You already wore the bare minimum – some short denims and a white tank top, your hair up in a messy bun.

“I swear underboob sweat is the worst. Just be glad you don’t have tits,” you complained. “Guys, seriously, can we invest in an AC? This heat wave is killing me! This bunker is like one giant oven…”

You watched as Dean squirmed in his seat as he ate his cereal, looking as uncomfortable as you. Surely, the boys were suffering just as badly during those sweltering temperatures, already forgoing the usual flannels and opting for plain t-shirts instead. How they were still wearing jeans was beyond you. When you first moved in, you protested against Dean’s suggestion of Naked Tuesdays, but these days, you were actually giving it a second thought.

“Well, I’m gonna drive to Kansas City today and see if I can get us an AC. Apparently, they’re all sold out, but I figured maybe with a bit of flirting and some cleavage, I can still get us one,” you explained your plan with a bright smirk and wiggled your eyebrows. “What d’you guys think, huh?”

Dean then abruptly banged his fist on the table, spilling some milk from his bowl on the surface. “For God’s sake, Y/N!”

You frowned in confusion at his unexpected outburst. “What’s up with you? Are you having a heat stroke?”

“Flirting, really?!” the hunter barked, his brow shaped into a deeply furious v.

“What’s wrong with that? Double standard much? You do it all the time to get shit,” you countered and watched his jaw clench in anger.

“I do-... not,” he remarked snappily with a fierce finger drilling into the table, clearly lacking a good argument. Sam cleared his throat in agreement with you, but that only earned him a glare. “And Jesus fucking Christ, would it hurt you to put on some goddamn clothes? You’re not even wearing a bra!”

“Did you not hear my tits rant just now? Of course I’m not! ‘Sides, those boobs are gonna get you an AC, so be a little more grateful to them,” you retorted, annoyed with his attitude. You’d think of all the people in this world, Dean Winchester would understand. (And maybe even appreciate it.) “And how can you even tell, huh?”

“‘Cause science, Y/N! You’re literally cooling your tits! What did you think was gonna happen, huh? Nipples!” he vented outrageously. “This ain’t a strip club!”

“It’s 102 degrees, Dean!” you argued, throwing your arms up. “Look, if I could, I’d even go naked, alright? It’s fucking hot!”

“Oh, for crying out loud!” Dean shook his head and stormed out of the kitchen without any further comment.

Confused, you blinked at the younger Winchester. “What’s up with him?”

But Sam only shrugged, shaking his head. “Uhm, I don’t know,” he replied, although he could take an educated guess, suspecting his brother’s feelings for you as the culprit.

“Well, alright, I’m going to Kansas City,” you decided without wasting another thought on the older Winchester’s strange behavior. “Text me if you guys need something. I can pick it up on my way home.”

Dean knew he was in deep trouble as his bow legs bolted down the bunker’s hallways. He tried so hard to keep it together, but when he saw you, half-naked and panting in front of the fridge, he quite literally lost his coolness in this goddamn heat wave.

The green-eyed hunter understood a thing or two about torture, but this was the worst of all. He’d rather have a demon repeatedly peel off his skin in hellfire than endure a day more of this fucking madness.

If the temperatures didn’t drop soon, it would be a cruel summer ahead of him.

As Dean heard the door to the garage close, he knew you’d left for your trip and exhaled a deep sigh of relief. At least he’d get a few hours of peace.

With the best intentions, he strolled to his bedroom, but as he passed your room on his way, he found the door ajar. Whatever good motives he had up until this point, went quickly out the window right then.

His hand twitched at the thought of more riches, worse than any trigger finger and competing with a California earthquake, and well, so did the dick in his jeans. It was an addiction at this point, an obsession he couldn’t resist nor get rid off. The fact that it was forbidden and wrong only made it even more appealing. The apple in the garden of Eden.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t an anonymous support group for this kind of sickness.

As unbearable shame and guilt collected in his stomach like rainwater in the gutter, his eager hands rummaged through your dresser drawer. There was purple lace and black satin, navy G-strings and white Brazilians. It was never ending, and the hunter couldn’t stop as he picked up each item and let his fantasies roam wild.

God, the things he wanted to do to you were as colorful as your rainbow full of underwear.

“Dean?!”

The green-eyed hunter froze in his place, a white lace panty still bunched up in his large palm. The hair in the back of his neck stood up in shock, a part of him refusing to turn around at the sound of your voice. He was caught red-handed, and he knew it.

“What are you doing in my room?” you prompted, suspiciously cocking an eyebrow. It looked fairly obvious what your best friend was up to, but you didn’t want to accuse him right away, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Frankly, it was quite unbelievable.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Dean replied and swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he held up his hands like a criminal during an arrest, the evidence still in his grasp.

“Well, it looks like you’re snooping through my lingerie,” you pointed out bluntly.

Dean nodded, guilt-ridden and reluctant. “I can explain.”

“Good,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m waiting…”

“Right, uhm…”

“Oh, before you scramble for an answer, you should know, though, that I’m aware a pair of red lace panties is missing, and I know the washer didn’t eat them,” you said and raised an expectant brow.

You had a feeling your pervy best friend was behind the mystery of the missing item. Now you knew for sure.

“Man, I always knew you were a kinky son of a bitch, but this is a new level, Dean,” you scolded.

Dean’s gaze dropped to the floor in shame, scratching the nape of his neck. “Look, uhm, there’s no good excuse. I know I fucked up here. I’ll sleep in a motel tonight until I find my own place. You can stay here with Sam, alright? I’ll move out and won’t bother you anymore.”

As he tried to brush past you, you blocked his exit and grabbed his arm. “So, you’re gonna leave? Just like that?”

“What other choice do I have? I don’t wanna make you more uncomfortable,” he stated without glancing at you once. He couldn’t bring himself to look into your eyes and see the disappointment and disgust there. “I know what I did was wrong.”

“Oh, so wrong,” you agreed. “I just figured you wouldn’t run away like a coward and take your punishment like a man, you know? Aren’t you at all curious what I’m wearing right now?”

That was when Dean’s juniper eyes slowly wandered to you and caught your gaze for the first time. You smirked as his breathing became heavy and his look darkened and filled with lust. It seemed like he wanted to rip your clothes off with his goddamn bare teeth like a wild animal.

“I can’t tell if you’re joking or if I’m dreaming,” he admitted, his deep voice part harsh swallow and part nervous chuckle.

“Neither,” you said, biting your bottom lip.

Carefully, you leaned closer, your hands reaching up to cup his scruffy cheeks. Noses nuzzled as your lips ghosted against his with a daring grin. You wouldn’t go further; it was up to Dean to make that final decision.

And then, as no more than a mere second ticked by on the clock, the hunter crashed his lips against yours in a kiss so scorching it made the current heat wave look like an ice age. If you thought you were hot before, now it felt like you were burning in a wildfire.

Dean roughly pushed you against the door, his kiss all teeth and tongue in an uncontrollable frenzy. His dick was hard and thick, straining against his jeans and rubbing along your thigh. Pantingly, you gasped for air and grabbed his hand, guiding it down your body and into your shorts.

“Feel that?” you asked mischievously as his fingers dug through your soaked folds and collected the arousal he caused. A wanton growl left his plush lips. “All for you, baby. You’ve been a bad boy, haven’t you?”

“Shit, yeah, so bad…” Dean rasped huskily against your throat as he worshipped his path down your body, forcing your shirt up till his wet tongue rolled over your pert and still cold nipple.

“Gonna make it up to me, huh? Show me how sorry you are?” you prompted, your fingers raking through his sandy blond and soft hair, eliciting a groan from him every time you tugged a little harder.

Teeth pinched your skin, tongue cherished your taste, and lips left your throat bruised. It was equal parts hot, sweaty, messy, naughty, dirty, and sticky as your bodies rutted against one another, looking for dire release.

With swollen and plumper than before lips, he came back up for air and found your eyes. He kissed you with heated passion once more as if he couldn’t resist to touch you over and over again. He had to restrain himself to be able to speak.

“So, uhm, you sure about this?” Dean asked between labored breaths with an insecure gleam in his green eyes. “‘Cause if we go further, I don’t think I can stop. And I don’t mean just this time but ever… If you want this to be a one time thing, you gotta tell me, sweetheart, so I can mentally prepare myself. I mean, I’ll take what I can get, you know? Not that I care either way… Well, that’s not true. I do care. A lot… But, you know, you’re you, and I’m me, so I’m not delusional. I know there’s no way you would–”

You interrupted his babbling with a kiss, causing the hunter to lose his words. You looked deeply into his eyes and offered him a small smile of comfort.

“Dean, listen to me, okay? ‘Cause this is very important,” you urged, your hands gripping his shirt tightly.

He nodded, gulping anxiously. “O-Okay.”

“You’re incredible,” you said and watched him inhale sharply at your words, blinking at you in disbelief. “Absolutely fucking bonkers incredible. You’re right – you’re you. And thank God you are, because you’re the best, funniest, smartest, kindest, and goddamn hottest man I’ve ever met. I’m tired of you not seeing that. As my boyfriend, I really need to you to see that, alright?”

As Dean pensively took in your words, his brow began to furrow. “Boyfriend?”

The corners of your mouth rose to a beam. “Yeah, boyfriend,” you confirmed. “That’s what you want, right? ‘Cause I’d really like that, too.”

“Uh, yeah, yeah… That’s what I want.” Dean nodded eagerly before another swallow followed. “I mean, among other things…”

You bit your lip, smirking. “What other things?”

“Well, uhm…”

Dean didn’t finish his sentence, his lips impatiently claiming yours instead. He pressed you hungrily back against the door, massive hands sliding down your sides till they hooked into the hem of your denim shorts and ripped them down to your ankles, leaving you only covered in teal lace. He growled shamelessly at the sight, his thick digits eagerly diving inside.

“Wanna be inside you,” he groaned into your ear, thumbing furiously at your clit. “Every hour of every day…”

“We can do that,” you agreed with a giggle, your arms locking around his neck, fingers carding through his hair in the back.

“Wanna feel your mouth around my–” The last word was muffled as he ravaged your neck, but you understood where he was going with this.

“You can do that,” you said with a smile.

“And fuck, I want you to ride my face,” he declared. That demand left you speechless, making even Dean stop for a minute and look at you. “Too far?”

You shook your head and smirked. “I can do that.”

Before Dean’s mind could fathom your words, you shoved him onto the bed, his back hitting the mattress. When you stood before him, slotted between his muscular legs, his gaze trailed up and down your body, memorizing every beautiful curve. As your fingers curled into the waistband of your panties, however, the hunter stopped you.

“Leave ‘em on, sweetheart. Don’t you dare take those off,” he told you, his hands rapaciously reaching out to you.

You played with the hem of your top and smirked, your tongue licking over your lips. “What about this? On or off?”

“Off,” he shot back faster than a bullet leaving a barrel.

“You first,” you demanded and grinned. “Remember, this is still your punishment.”

“God, I love getting punished,” Dean mumbled and slipped out of his shirt. He then swiftly shimmied out of his jeans, discarding each item carelessly around the room.

He then took a deep breath as he tugged the waistband of his boxers, his erection already fighting its way out. “Well, here goes nothing,” the hunter said and pulled his underwear down.

You tilted your head to see his hard cock from a better angle as it sprang against his stomach. Your lips parted in anticipation, wondering what he’d taste like on your tongue and how deep you’d be able to take him. You guessed there’d be a struggle ahead, considering how huge and wide he was.

“Oh, I would not call that monster nothing,” you commented with a scoff, your pussy throbbing with need. “Explains all that BDE.”

Dean blushed. It was cute to watch. “Thank you.”

Giggling, you removed your shirt and tossed it at his face, blinding him for a second. You used that momentum to slide onto the bed and straddle his torso. As his eyes finally found you again, he almost choked on his spit when he gazed up at your perfect tits above him. A primal grunt escaped his throat.

With a mesmerized sparkle in his eyes, his hands trailed up your body and cupped your breasts, massaging them roughly as your panties grew damper by the minute. He then pulled you down to his lips and kissed you breathless before he left them with a boyish smirk on his freckled face.

“Hop on, sweetheart.”

And as if his words hadn’t been enough motivation, his hands wandered to palm your ass and hauled you closer to his mouth. He was an impatient one – or maybe he’d waited years for this and was finally tired of it.

Your knees sunk into the mattress on either side of his stubborn head. His fingers dented your flesh as they grabbed onto your thighs. Yours held onto the headboard for support. You tried not to look down, because then you’d see his big lopsided and full of excitement grin.

The same one he had when you found a diner in Kentucky that advertised the biggest burger in America (it wasn’t). The same one he had when he thought he had run into a member of Metallica at a gas station outside of Phoenix (he didn’t). The same one he had when you and Sam gifted him his own beer brewing station for his last birthday (which tasted horrible, but neither you nor Sam had the heart to tell him).

And now, he had that same grin when he was about to be with you.

As your pussy dripped above him, Dean couldn’t hold back his lewd groans any longer. You didn’t even have to lower yourself; he just dragged you down onto his face all to eagerly. His fingers swiped your panties to the side, and before you could even adjust your grip on the bedpost, his tongue darted into your soaked channel as deeply as he could and sucked you goddamn dry.

With several whimpers, you clenched around his wet muscle. If you were water in the desert, he was parched and drinking to survive.

His nose was buried in your folds, rubbing deliciously against your clit as he lapped your pussy in a vicious attack that left you squirming and moaning to a pornographic degree above him. Because Dean was just that – pure porn.

Instinctively and irresistibly, you ground your cunt against him, the vibrations of his keen groans against your sensitive flesh rocking you to the edge of your climax. He ate you out and devoured you like that damn gigantic burger in Kentucky. And as you dared to blink down and watch him in action, he had the audacity to devilishly smirk up at you with the crinkles around his green eyes alone, gauging your every reaction to his touches as if you were a goddamn movie on a silver screen.

You trembled and quivered and screamed as your orgasm electrified every molecule in your body. You white-knuckled the wood in your grip, your body only held up by Dean’s strong arms because God knows your weak legs were useless now.

As wave after wave washed over you, Dean drank every drop of yours, his tongue never getting enough of your taste. The sounds that filled the room were carnal and obscene.

“Fuck, Dean,” you sighed blissfully and lifted off his face and captured his swollen and red lips in a grateful kiss, your palms finding purchase on his broad shoulders. Your drenched and sensitive cunt settled on his thighs as an egregiously large erection poked your belly and tempted you further.

Dean smirked up at you, all satisfied and confident with his achievement. “I think we have a slight problem, though.”

Your brow knitted, your heart tightening with anxiety. Had you been as disappointing as the burger, beer, and that fake Metallica band member?

But Dean only grinned teasingly at your confused face. “There’s no way I learned my lesson here.”

You snorted and sought out his lips, the kiss giving you a taste of yourself. “We’ll work on that. I might have to nickname you Jaws after this,” you joked.

“Can’t wait for you to explain that one to Sammy.” Dean snorted, chuckling. “Now, how about you hop on again, but this time a little further south, huh?” he proposed with a wiggle of his eyebrows and a suggestive twitch of his cock for emphasis.

You giggled with a few nods. “I can do that.”

Was it worth the words? 😝

For all you newcomers and as a general reminder, Dirty Drabbles are always open. I still have quite a few left, but you're welcome to send more in, and we'll add it to the collection at some point 😎🔥

PUT YOUR DIRTY THOUGHTS HERE

TAGS:

Everything Jensen: @alwaystiredandconfused @xlynnbbyx @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @blackcherrywhiskey @deansbbyx @foxyjwls007 @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @zepskies @agalliasi @yvonneeeee @hobby27 @imsapphine @globetrotter28 @mxltifxnd0m @lacilou

[catssluvr]

it would be sososo wonderful if you wrote a cute little blurb abt Spencer and fem!BAU!reader both coming into work with little doodles all over their arms and the team notices or something <3 (yes this is the same anon that sent the headcanon lol)

hii! i loved your headcanon and am so glad you requested this 💌

𝒅𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒔, spencer reid

spencer reid x fem!reader

you relationship with spencer is revealed when you both show up to work with doodles on your arms <3

warnings: none <3

ˏˋ°��*⁀➷

Spencer reaches for the mug full of hot coffee, taking a generous sip. His button up feels almost immediately too hot, body warming up due to the hot beverage. He rolls up his sleeves without a second thought, arms covered in little doodles on full display to anyone in the bullpen who decides to look at them.

"Hey, pretty boy. Did you see- are those hearts?" Derek approaches his desk with a teasing smile already making it's way to his lips. Spencer scrambles to cover his arms up, clumsy pulling his sleeves down.

"Did i see what?" He feigns innocence, crossing his arms over his chest as he's way too nervous to actually button up the sleeves. There's no way he's going to out the relationship he's been hiding for a good few months because of some doodles.

"Oh no, you're not running away from this. Why have you got cute drawings all over your arms, uh?" He teases even further, trying to take a peek at the skin under Spencer's button up.

Your gaze immediately shoots up to them once you realize what Derek is referring to, quickly faking a normal expression once you realize your eyes have widened. You pretend to be looking at the files in your table, waiting for the answer. Your table is not far from his so you really have to keep it cool.

"I uh- i was bored and drew them." Spencer says the first excuse that comes to mind and realizes rather quickly how bad it sounds. His neck turns red and it soon spreads to his cheeks and ears too.

"You want me to believe you were bored and decided to draw hearts and butterflies on your arms? Sure, Reid." He chuckles, making sure to give him a hard time.

"Aw, does my sweet boy genius have a girlfriend?" Penelope snoops in, a less teasing and more bright smile on her lips.

"It sounds like he does. Unless he's suddenly ambidextrous and is able to draw perfect hearts on both of his arms." Emily comments, just as interested to make Spencer flustered as Derek.

"I- What if i am?!" Spencer's voice comes out a tad bit squeakier than intended, facade crumbling very easily. He looks at you almost desperately, trying to find a way out of this interrogation without having to reveal your relationship.

"Come on guys, leave the poor boy alone." Rossi saves him before you can, but he seems just as curious as the rest of them. Raised eyebrows and looking directly at him.

"Do you know anything about this, gorgeous?" Derek turns his gaze to you. Spencer gulps nervously, trying to act as normal as possible now that you're also about to be involved.

"Me? Why would i know?" You question a bit too defensively. Lying isn't exactly your forte and now that everyone is looking at you, it feels even harder.

"Wait- do i sense jealously?" It now feels like you're the next chosen victim to their interrogation. You might have aimed for careless but it definitely came off as defensive and bothered.

"You really don't." You roll your eyes as you answer, noticing the way Spencer gives you an apologetical look. You smile for long enough so that he notices but quick enough so no on else sees it.

"I think we do." Rossi agrees with Derek.

You sigh exasperatedly, hand coming to rub your forehead. What you don't notice is the way your shirt rids down, exposing your also covered arm.

"Oh my god- she has them too!" Penelope gasps, not holding back the surprise.

You wonder how they hadn't figured out you and Spencer are dating before. You both aren't exactly great liars and it was just a matter of time until someone caught one of your stollen kisses on the workplace.

"Oops?" You mutter out, cheeks painfully hot as you give up on trying to hide it. There's no way they would believe any kind of excuse now.

"Can't say i'm surprised." Emily is the first to say anything, leaving to go back to her desk as if nothing had happened.

"I'm so happy for you guys." Penelope ruffles Spencer's hair with a smile that's definitely making her cheeks hurt, while Derek resumes to shaking his head with a chuckle.

Spencer gives you a lopsided smile and you quickly realize he's trying to know if you're okay with all of it. You nod with a smile of your own, fingers tracing the doodles on your arm.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

love you,

cat 🤍

[breathinlove]

band!ellie 2 headcanons and smau

read this

sinopse: ellie williams is the lead singer in a band (+some texts with her).

cw: nsfw after the texts with warning! swearing, explicit, reader works in a record store and ellie's a simp, not explicit if reader is fem or masc.

part 1

band!ellie who made it unbelievable for dina and jesse to believe she found her girl, but then they met you.

“this shit's cringe as fuck, but you two are sweet…” jesse starts and dina immediately agrees. “yeah, she's perfect for you, el.” “i knowwwww, i need her.” jumping like a teenage girl fr...

band!ellie who sometimes thinks her bandmates like you way too much.

“invite y/n to the next rehearsal too for real.” jesse says after you leave a rehearsal you went to. “okay man i get it, she's amazing.” with an annoyed expression. “so… invite her.” dina chuckles. “no, i don't want any of you jumping on my girl.” but she does invite you anyway.

band!ellie who's so stupid tbh, she's gonna sign girls’ tits after concerts and act all oblivious when you swerve her kisses.

and swerving her is so fun istg, she's gonna try like 4 times before she's upset. UPSET! (she will go non verbal).

band!ellie who's the type to perform and glance at you like you're about to have sex right that instant (u will, after the concert tho!).

band!ellie who's a singer herself but turns on the tv and pretends to be the weeknd for you.

band!ellie who wishes she could rap… actually, no. she thinks she can.

"that was... something." you smirk and she scoffs, throwing herself on the couch she was standing on, mic in hand. "i'm literally in my rapper era but whatever, you'll see." and you're full on laughing. "don't laugh." and you come hug her and say she's so so special.

band!ellie who makes it so you can't open x (twitter) without seeing girls mourning your girlfriend… she's alive not single tho!

band!ellie who's always late for everything, but she tries her best istg. you and the band are TIREDDD.

band!ellie who's nervous about pda… but she likes it, showing everyone you're hers and she's yours.

band!ellie who made a slideshow about how you should move into her apartment… that was kinda like:

“REASONS FRRRR 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯

ALL OF THEM 🤣

we're literally soulmates so we gotta be roommates too???

countless sleepovers omg i'm crying!

i'll never be late again (kinda😬)

we can get a pet tg 😯

i'll get to listen to u sing in the shower more and you know i like hearing you and singing with you while im in the toilet or even outside the bathroom

passionate lesbian sex before sleeping, after eating, doing the dishes, the laundry ALL THE TIME

i love you the most and i want you close all the time

you love me back (i hope) so you gotta want me close too

i want you as my wife asap

think about it, thanks and please my love ❤️”

you moved in… weak mf but can anyone blame you??

band!ellie who loves cooking with you for friends and family when they come over. just loves being with you in general but even house chores are better with you??

band!ellie who comes to disturb see you at your job, your bosses hate her and said they were gonna stop selling their album 😒 (they actually love her).

band!ellie who switches from your serious cool rockstar girlfriend to your silly baby girlfriend in a second.

band!ellie who reposts them and comments under edits fans make of you, even more than her own edits.

“that's my baby so stop gawking.(jk)” “whats her @” “id repost but my gf would be jealous, shes hot asf 🤤🤤” “THAT'S MY GIRL” “creamed💔” "straight to the y/n folder" someone said “ellie cant handle allat” and she replied fr “true, she the one handling me 💯💢” SHE HAS NO CHILL...

band!ellie who pays the same attention to potential hate you'd get, she will block them… don't talk about her girl.

nsfw (cw: cunnilingus [e and r!receiving], fingering [e and r!receiving]. switch!ellie!!!!).

band!ellie who treats you like a star

you were supposed to be in the shower but ellie saw you stripping out of your clothes and she has to ask to kiss your clit, dropping to her knees. her fingers bruising your thighs and shes eating you out as if she'd been starving. you cum but she's not satisfied yet, she pulls you down on the bedroom carpet with her "give me another one, please." hands roaming your skin ever so softly, sending shivers down your body. she asks what you want, the position, how many fingers, she just needs to please you. and now she's on top of you, pounding you with her fingers and pressing down your lower stomach because she just wants you to cum again.

band!ellie who loves sleepy sex

she's gonna be in bed with you, almost asleep asking you for kisses, then for some touches... and you end up between her legs, sloppy nasty head and some slow fingering. your lips around her clit and kissing her pussy lips and slit and your fingers in and out her pussy. she's whining and squealing, playing with her own tits and caressing ur face. you're humming against her pussy and she's clenches "let go for me, ellie..." you coo and she squirts on your mouth and fingers. soft pants leaving her lips, soon stopping with her caresses on your face as you lick her cum. you look up, hair messy against the pillow and eyes closed. "i love you..." she mutters after you clean her and lay next to her "i love you." you spoon her.

a/n: this is kinda shitty but it's for who asked for more! @kyleeservopoulos @sameenatruther @harrysslutsstuff

[fairestwriting]

Hello there! Love your writing! How about my sweet Savanaclaw boys finding out that their crush (or S/O) sleeps cuddling a plushie of their respective animals (like a wolf for Jack). Thanks! I love Jack so much :)

me while jumping at the opportunity of writing the man: i hate leona

Leona Kingscholar

He is canonically a very smart and perceptive guy. But somewhere in my heart I just know he wouldn't fully make the connection for a while. Just trust me on that one.

Kind of pokes fun at your "cat" plushie. What's with that thing, Herbivore? Aren't you a little too old for stuffed animals? Though he steps back if it makes you genuinely upset, which isn't what he's going for, he's just being an ass as a joke again. A part of him thinks it's really endearing, even before it really clicks for him.

He kind of feels vaguely jealous of the plushie. If you bring it while you two are sleeping together he'll pull the what do you need this thing for, I'm right here kind of shtick.

Confused on why you sleep with a plushie in the first place, more confused about why this stuffed cat looks so weird... oh, wait.

He's stupidly proud when it actually clicks. Of course he won't tell you it went over his head for the longest time, but all of a sudden, he's all smug whenever he sees you with the plushie, saying you could've just called if you missed him so much.!

Ruggie Bucchi

Takes a hot second to make the connection, but a lot less than Leona. The delay is mostly because he's never expected to see a hyena plushie of all things.

Actually loves it because it reminds him of the kids back home a little. He asks where you bought it, how much it was, tells you a little story about a kid he knew who wanted one just like that.

He won't explicitly ask to hold it but you should offer it, he loves your little buddy, he's already said you should come to him if you ever need to get a tear patched up. Doesn't even have it in him to make a joke about it being childish, at most tells you he'll keep it a secret if you look embarrassed.

When he does notice though, while poking at the plushie's little ears absentmindedly, he's the one who gets flustered. Oh no, that's really cute kind of realization.

He wants to sound cool when he says that, you know, if you want to sleep with him, you can just invite him over, but he does fail pretty hard. He can't help it, though, it's just way too endearing to him.

...Besides, he's already offered to co-parent the toy. If it doesn't have a name, it's just a matter of time before Ruggie asks and "jokingly" comes up with suggestions.

Jack Howl

Only one who thinks it might have to do something with him... but he's kind of too flustered to say anything about it for a good while.

He bashfully reassures you there's nothing wrong with keeping plushies around even if you're not a kid, maybe letting it slip that he thinks the little wolf is pretty cute... then pretending he didn't say anything.

Jack overthinks it a bit. Wolf plushies aren't that uncommon, right? You probably had it before you met him. He's too shy to ask if you had it before you met him.

He'll settle on... asking about the plushie itself. It might not have anything to do with him, but he knows pretty quickly that he wants it to. If you're not dating yet, he'll use the almighty excuse of asking about it because he needs to get his little siblings a gift.

Either way, though, the next excuse he gets, whether it's Christmas or your birthday or whatever, you find yourself with a very neatly wrapped box in your hands, and Jack nearly hiding behind it. Just saw it in a shop near home and thought you might like it, he says.

Whether your previous plushie was based on the exact same type of white wolf he is doesn't matter. If it is, it's getting a twin. You bet he scoured the shops to find it, blessing his luck on wolves being animals plenty of people love. He has a small, shy smile on his face when you take it.

if you wanna support my work, you can buy me a ko-fi or commission me!

[ham1lton]

AFTER LAST NIGHT (I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU).

episode two of ham1lton’s kinktober fest.

— pairings: george russell x reader.

— summary: your vampire roommate is perfect in every way. he's clean, respectful, pays his portion of rent on time, and.... has a crush on you?

— cw: bath sex/handjob, mention of licking tears, biting!!! this is a vamp sex fic. this is acc very tame lmao.

────── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ──────

AITA for thinking my vampire roommate has a crush on me because he’s acting weird?

posted by user728338

so this sounds ridiculous, which is why i posted this on my throwaway acc, but please bear with me. i (23F) have a roommate (26M) who’s… well, a vampire. yes, a literal vampire. before you ask, it’s really not as dramatic as it sounds. he’s actually perfect in pretty much every way—he’s super clean, respectful, quiet, never has people over, pays his rent on time, and never leaves a mess. honestly, having a vampire as a roommate has been way easier than i thought it would be.

but lately, he’s been acting kinda… weird. at first, i thought maybe it was just vampire stuff? like maybe he’s going through some undead mood swings or whatever. but now, i’m starting to think it’s something else. he’s started being extra nice to me, like… too nice. offering to do things for me, complimenting me more than usual, staring at me for just a little longer than what’s socially acceptable.

he also gets super awkward whenever i bring up my dating life. like, i casually mentioned going on a date, and he kinda froze up and changed the subject immediately. it’s really unlike him. i feel like he’s avoiding me sometimes, too. he’ll leave the room quickly if i get too close, and he’s gotten all stiff when we’re watching a movie together like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands.

i don’t know—am i being paranoid, or does it sound like he might have a crush on me? i feel like this whole ‘vampire crush on a human’ thing is just… cliché (like okayyyy tvd), but he’s been so different lately. i want to bring it up, but i also really don’t want to make things awkward if i’m wrong. he’s been a great roommate, and i don’t want to mess that up.

AITA for thinking my vampire roommate might have feelings for me?

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randolando: dude don’t worry about it. vampires get weird about crushes. i used to know this hot vamp chick and i totally knew she had a crush on me when she brought me back to her cave and tried to stop my heart. weird but romantic. knowing him, he’s just trying to figure out a way to ask you out without making it awkward. we know how crushes are a pain in the neck. you get it? 🤣

chachaslide: this is sweet. i love seeing true love. i hope you like him back but no pressure. it sounds like he really likes you and isn’t sure how to handle it. if you like him too just be gentle and maybe talk to him about the situation? he could just be scared to ruin what you both have. if you don’t like him, that’s fine! just reassure him that you’re cool being roommates. communication is key!! hope it goes well.

maxattack: KILL HIM NOW. i don't care how 'nice' or ‘perfect' he seemingly is. he’s a vampire, and you're a walking snack. don’t let the politeness fool you. the second you let your guard down, you're done. get out now, stake through the heart, burn the body, and never look back. you don't want to be his next midnight snack. i know from experience.

alexxxxx123: omg. i think i know who you’re talking about. tall, pale, british and his name begins with g? if it’s him, it’s totally harmless.

— user728338: pm me.

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after a long day at work, you step into the london flat quietly, the soft click of the door barely making a sound. as you take off your shoes, you hear george’s voice coming from the living room. it’s low, but unmistakable—calm, precise, and, of course, very posh. curiosity gets the better of you, and you hover just outside the door, listening.

“yes, alex, i know. it’s rather… frustrating, to say the least,” george says, his tone clipped but controlled. “i mean, she’s right here, every day, and yet i can’t seem to gather the courage to—well, you know… express myself.”

there’s a pause, and you feel your heart skip a beat. he’s talking about you. you press yourself closer to the wall, careful not to make a sound, your pulse racing as you listen in.

“oh, of course, i’ve thought about it,” george continues, his voice lowering slightly, almost conspiratorial. “but what if she doesn’t feel the same? what if i ruin everything? she’s… well, she’s stunning, isn’t she? and don’t get me started on how she looks when she—”

he stops himself, clears his throat, and you hear him shift uncomfortably. oh. you feel your cheeks heat up, realising just how close you’ve come to hearing something you probably shouldn’t.

“no, no, it’s nothing improper,” george quickly adds, as if reassuring alex on the other end of the line—and maybe himself too. “you know i’m not that sort of man. it’s just that… i find myself distracted. the way she smiles, the way she moves about the flat, even the smallest things. it’s maddening. i can’t keep my thoughts straight, let alone have a proper conversation with her. it’s utterly ridiculous.”

you bite your lip, your mind racing. george, the prim and proper vampire, with his immaculate manners and his pristine way of speaking… has a crush on you? it almost seems too surreal and you come to the sudden realisation that you were right.

“yes, well,” george continues, a hint of exasperation in his voice, “i don’t think it’s quite appropriate to be so forward with her. she’s human, alex. it’s not as simple as just… declaring one’s affections and hoping for the best. besides, there’s… certain temptations that come with my, shall we say, condition.”

another pause, and you can almost hear the shock in george’s voice as he says, “no, not that sort of temptation. for heaven’s sake, alex, you’re incorrigible.”

you stifle a giggle, feeling a strange mixture of amusement and flattery. george’s usually calm, composed demeanour was cracking, all because of you. and yet, even as he’s talking about his attraction, he’s still so… proper.

“it’s just… difficult, alex,” george continues, his voice softening, as if he’s letting his guard down. “i’ve never been one to get flustered, you know that. but with her, it’s different. every time i try to be casual, i end up stumbling over my words like a schoolboy. i haven’t been one of those since my eton days in 1678.”

he sighs, and you hear the creak of the chair as he shifts. “i’ve considered telling her, of course, but what if she doesn’t feel the same? or worse, what if i… lose control? it’s not like i can just—”

just then, george turns his head, catching sight of you in the reflection of the mirror by the door. his eyes widen, and he freezes, his face going pale as a statue. which means, he’s even paler than usual.

“alex, i have to go,” he says quickly, cutting the call without another word.

you stand there, awkwardly rooted to the spot, trying to process what just happened. george stares at you for a long, agonising second, his usually calm, collected features twisted in a mix of embarrassment and something close to panic. he opens his mouth to say something, then promptly closes it again. without another word, he vanishes from the room, moving so fast that you barely catch the sound of the door shutting behind him.

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the flat feels strangely empty after that. days pass, and george doesn’t return. there’s no note, no message, nothing to explain his absence, and a strange loneliness settles over the place. as much as you tried to shake off the awkwardness of overhearing him, you couldn’t stop thinking about his voice, his words, and how he’d sounded so flustered and so human in that moment.

then, one evening, after a long day, you decide to run yourself a bath. the water is warm, the bubbles thick, and you sink into it, trying to relax, but your thoughts keep drifting back to george. you wonder where he is, if he’s okay, and if he’ll ever come back. mostly because out of genuine care but also, you could never pay the rent alone. it’s london.

just as you’re about to close your eyes, there’s a soft knock on the bathroom door. you sit up, startled.

“it’s me,” george’s voice comes through the door, quiet, hesitant. “i… well, i need to apologise.”

you blink, glancing down at yourself submerged in the bath, and then at the door. “george?” you call out, feeling a mix of surprise and curiosity. “where have you been?”

there’s a pause before he responds, his voice tight with embarrassment. “away. i… needed some time to gather my thoughts. but i can’t stay away any longer. i behaved incredibly poorly, and i’m sorry. i didn’t mean for you to overhear that conversation.”

“you’ve been avoiding me for days,” you say softly, the warmth of the bath soothing but not enough to ease the tension in the air. “it’s fine, george. really.”

“no,” he insists, his voice a little firmer now. “it’s not fine. i’ve been disrespectful, and that’s not who i am. it’s not reflective of how i want to act. i should have… handled it better.” there’s a long pause, and you can hear the discomfort in his tone when he adds, “i’ll… wait outside until you’re decent. i’d never want to intrude on your privacy.”

you bite back a smile. even now, he’s still so proper, refusing to even acknowledge that you’re in the bath.

“george, it’s okay,” you say, a little amused. “you can come in. just… don’t look.”

there’s another pause, and you hear him take a deep breath. then, slowly, the door creaks open, and george steps in, his eyes firmly fixed on the floor. he looks so shy, and he looks entirely out of place standing in the middle of your ensuite bathroom, but he keeps his gaze respectfully averted.

“i… i didn’t mean for things to get so awkward,” he begins, his voice tight with formality. “i’ve made things uncomfortable for you, and for that, i’m deeply sorry.”

you can’t help but smile at his rigid posture, the way he stands there, still too embarrassed to even glance in your direction. “george, you didn’t do anything wrong. i… actually thought it was kind of… sweet. the way you talked about me.”

his head jerks slightly, and he clears his throat, clearly flustered. “yes, well… it wasn’t my finest moment, but… i meant every word.”

you feel your heart flutter at his admission, and despite the strange situation, you can’t help but find his gentlemanly awkwardness endearing.

“thank you for apologising,” you say softly. “and for being so… proper. i appreciate it.”

he finally glances up, just for a second, his eyes still carefully avoiding looking at you directly. “i may be many things,” he says quietly, “but a gentleman is one i’ll never fail to be. i… hope we can put this behind us.”

with a soft smile, you turn your head to the side, studying george’s posture, his stiff formality, his refusal to look at you even now. “but what if i don’t want to?” you ask, your voice quiet, teasing, but with an edge of something more—something curious.

his entire body tenses at your words, as if they’ve struck him harder than he expected. he clears his throat, his gaze still fixed on the floor, though you notice his hands twitch slightly at his sides. “i… i beg your pardon?” he stammers, the usual composure in his voice faltering.

you sit up a little in the bath, the water shifting around you as you keep your eyes on him. “what if i don’t want to put it behind us?” you repeat, more gently this time, testing the waters just as he had with his confession. “what if… i’ve been thinking about it too?”

george is silent for a long moment, his breath hitching just slightly as your words sink in. finally, he raises his head, his eyes locking onto yours, though he keeps them carefully above your shoulders. there’s a flicker of something—hope, maybe, or disbelief—dancing in his eyes. he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing slightly as he struggles to find the right words.

“you… you’ve thought about it?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper, as though he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.

you nod, watching his reaction closely. “george, you’ve been nothing but a gentleman, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice… the way you look at me. the way you talk about me.” you pause, biting your lip slightly, the playful edge in your voice softening. “and… maybe I like it.”

“i… i never intended to make you uncomfortable,” he murmurs, his voice laced with sincerity. “but if… if you’ve truly thought about this, then… i can’t deny that i have, too. for longer than i care to admit.”

he glances away, his jaw tightening as though he’s fighting some internal battle, trying to balance his feelings with his unshakable need to maintain decorum. “but you must understand,” he continues, his voice tight, “this isn’t… simple. my nature complicates things. i’ve fought to keep these feelings in check because… i don’t want to put you at risk.”

you tilt your head, your eyes softening as you look at him, seeing the tension in his posture, the restraint he holds so tightly. “george, you’ve never made me feel anything but safe,” you murmur, your voice gentle. “even now.”

he stands by the door, rigid, torn between his desire and his code of conduct. his fingers flex at his sides as though he’s holding onto some invisible line that’s slowly fraying. “but what if… what if i can’t always control myself?” he whispers, as if he’s speaking more to himself than to you. “what if i fail?”

you meet his gaze steadily. “george, you have control. we’ve been living together a long time. if you didn’t, this would’ve gone differently a long time ago.”

he blinks, clearly taken aback by your confidence in him. you shift slightly in the bath, the warm water rippling around you as you lean forward. “come here,” you say, your tone soft but firm.

“i can’t,” he breathes, shaking his head slightly, his eyes flickering with hesitation. “you don’t know what you’re asking.”

“maybe i do,” you reply, your voice unwavering. “you said you’ve thought about this—about us. so have i. and the only thing standing between us right now is your fear that you’ll hurt me. but george… you won’t.”

he clenches his jaw, his eyes filled with conflict. you can see the way he’s holding himself back, the way he’s torn between what he wants and what he thinks is right. “you don’t understand the… the temptation,” he says, his voice strained. “being close to you… it’s not just about control.”

“i trust you,” you say firmly, holding his gaze. “and i’m asking you to trust yourself.”

he takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling as he battles with himself. finally, after what feels like an eternity, he takes a tentative step forward. then another. he’s still hesitant, but you can see the way his resolve is crumbling under the weight of his desire.

“come here,” you say again, more softly this time, reaching out a hand toward him. “george, i want you here. with me.”

he stops at the edge of the bath, his eyes dark and intense as they meet yours. “this… this isn’t appropriate,” he says, but his voice has lost its usual firmness. there’s a vulnerability there now, an uncertainty that you’ve never seen in him before.

“good news that appropriate isn’t what i’m asking for,” you say with a small smile, your fingers brushing lightly against his arm. “i’m asking for you.”

he swallows hard, his eyes flickering down to the water and back up to you, and for a moment, you think he might walk away again, retreat into that shell of formality he hides behind. but then, slowly, cautiously, he bends down, kneeling by the side of the bath. his hand hovers over yours for a moment, as if he’s still deciding whether or not to let himself go.

“just trust me,” you whisper, your eyes locking onto his, silently urging him to take that final step.

his fingers curl around yours, cool to the touch, and you feel the tension in his grip, the restraint he’s still holding onto. “you’re sure?” he murmurs, his voice low and almost reverent.

“i’ve never been more sure,” you reply, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. his skin cold under yours. “now, get in.”

he hesitates for only a moment longer before, with a deep breath, he slips off his jacket and unbuttons his shirt, still moving carefully, like he’s afraid of crossing a line he can’t uncross. lastly, he pulls his trousers down before he steps into the bath, the water lapping at his underwear, soaking them through, but he doesn’t seem to care. his gaze is fixed on you the entire time, intense and unwavering.

he sits down slowly, the warmth of the bath contrasting with his cool skin, his legs brushing against yours under the water. “i don’t want to… overstep,” he says softly, his voice low and serious, though his hand remains firmly in yours.

“you won’t.” you smile, as you crawl over to him. “if anything, i might do.”

“you could never.” he murmurs, looking into your eyes. “anything you would like to do to me would be my pleasure.”

“anything?”

“anything.”

he exhales slowly, his gaze lingering on your face as if trying to memorise every detail. "i've spent so long keeping my distance," he says quietly, his voice thick with restraint. "telling myself that this... that you... were out of reach."

you shift closer, the water rippling between you as your knees brush against his. "i'm not out of reach, george," you whisper, your fingers trailing along his arm. "i'm right here."

you crawl over to him as you kiss him. he immediately melts under your touch, his cold skin going pliant under your fingertips. you go even further, opening your mouth with his tongue and swallowing the little gasp that comes out. he grips your forearms as you take up more space in his lap, his eyes shut as you greedily touch him everywhere you can.

you can feel him harden under your touch, as you reach down to wrap a hand around him. he bucks up into your touch as he kisses you harder. you tighten your hold as he fucks up into you, the water splashing around you both as he cradles your face with his hands.

for a moment, all you can hear is the motion of the water and his quiet groans against your mouth.

as he moans in your mouth again, you smile and swipe your thumb over his head. his stomach clenches, and his thighs tense as he releases. he looks up at you with apologetic teary eyes, the teardrops spilling over. he looks a mess. his sharp canines protruding from his mouth, pushing his lips into a pout. you kiss him. the role reversal hadn’t been lost on you. you had managed to reduce your ‘predator’ into tears over a handjob. take that user maxattack!

you then smile, not unkindly, and lick up the salty trail that his teardrops had mapped on his face. you kiss his cheek.

“you okay?” he nods in response to your question. you hesitate before asking a question. “do you mind if try something? i’ve always been curious about it.”

“of course.”

you lean forward and bite over his jugular. he seemingly doesn’t react. you bite down harder, when you look at him, he just looks back at you with his eyes wide. the pressure of your teeth didn’t seem to affect him, but hey, it was something to tick off your bucket list.

“having fun?” he smiles.

“a lot.” you grin. “i’d have even more if you let me have my way with you in an actual bed.”

you’ve never seen him move so quickly as he did when getting out of the bath.

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UPDATE: AITA for thinking my vampire roommate had a crush on me?

posted by user728338

hey everyone, i wasn’t expecting the original post to get so much attention, but after reading through all your comments (some of them were wild, lol), i figured i’d give you an update!

so… turns out, you guys were right. he did have a crush on me, and i wasn’t imagining things. i ended up overhearing him on the phone with his friend (as you all predicted), and he was basically confessing his feelings for me! it was awkward at first—he got super embarrassed and disappeared for a few days. i thought that was going to be the end of it, but then he came back to apologise, all prim and proper as usual, even though i was literally in the bath when he did it.

and well… one thing led to another. we had a very honest conversation about everything, about how we’ve both been feeling, and let’s just say it escalated from there.

yes, we hooked up. and it was… intense (vampires, am i right?). i won’t go into too much detail, but it was amazing and also kind of sweet? he is still his usual gentlemanly self, but he’s also loosened up a bit around me now, which is nice. the best part? we’re officially dating now!!

it’s still early days, but things have been going really well. he is is surprisingly thoughtful, and he’s made it clear that he takes this—us—very seriously. i’m honestly really happy with him, and the whole vampire thing? not as big of a deal as i thought it would be.

so yeah, it all worked out in the end! thanks for the advice, everyone. and to those who told me to get therapy or run because he was going to eat me—he definitely didn’t. ;)

tl;dr: my vampire roommate had a crush on me, we hooked up, and now we’re dating!

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maxattack: THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA. IT'S NOT TOO LATE. STAKE HIM. I REPEAT— STAKE. HIM. you say he didn't eat you this time, but that's how it starts. they lure you in with sweetness, get you comfortable, and then BAM, next thing you know, you're in a coffin six feet under. i’ve seen it happen. i’ll say it one more time — STAKE. THROUGH. THE. HEART. I'M WARNING YOU!!!!!

chachaslide: this is SO CUTE! i’m so glad you two talked it out and things worked out in the best way possible. it sounds like you’ve got a great thing going! i hope everything continues to be amazing between you two. just keep up that communication, and you’ll be fine! wishing you both all the best <3

randolando: knew it!!! i told you, vampires just get weird with crushes. i’m glad it worked out for you two! also, the fact that he didn’t try to stop your heart means you’re doing better than me with that vamp chick lmao. anyway, keep having fun, but maybe steer clear of any caves. congrats!

alexxxxx123: OMG IT IS HIM! i knew it! g is a total sweetheart, and honestly, you’ve snagged a good one. i’m really happy for you both. i had a feeling he liked you when you first mentioned the awkwardness. he’s just a bit shy when it comes to feelings. don’t worry, he’ll get a lot more comfortable as you go along! congrats again! <3

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[gremlingottoosilly]

Lego still not sponsoring me (dark!Konig x fem!Reader)

Konig is a nerd who needs to get sprayed with water for being a fucking creep. You're an adorable cashier at the Lego Store in Berlin who doesn't know any better and is too nice to lose. He will have you. Mostly because he wants someone to do his Lego sets with.

Details count: 2922 AO3 TW and Tags: Dub-con/Non-con, age gap, size difference, kidnapping, awkward colonel Konig, nerd Konig, hurt/comfort, Konig's POV(mostly), awkward German, yandere Konig.

You didn’t want to build Millenium Falcon with him. 

You didn’t want to shower or eat, you didn’t want to do anything besides crying, and even though your tears, as he expected, were beautiful and adorable, it was kinda hard for König to take care of your mental and physical needs while he was rock hard from watching you cry so sweetly. 

König is patient, kind, and a model citizen through and through. Why are you upset? He is doing everything he can, just to make you smile! Seriously, Schatzi, the desire to make him as miserable as you possibly can doesn’t make you pretty or cute or even the least bit adorable. Good thing that he is used to feeling sad and kinda of bullied – you’re lucky he doesn’t even try to feel good anymore. Not in his destiny book to live a good life. — I brought food. 

You groan lightly, whimpering somewhere in the corner of his basement. To your justification, his basement is a bit dirty. He forgot to visit the house for months after deployment, which was never enough to fill out the blanks of loneliness in the empty rooms. His dogshits methods of choosing decorations also made the mere existence in the house a hard mission even in itself. He looked at the anime posters in the guest rooms, which made him want to sell the property to anyone willing to pay 50 Euros for the processing fees. The posters(Sword Art Online because why the hell not, he likes cool swords and a power fantasy about a loser getting the chick) and artwork of his queen and savior, The Busty Blond Lady From Fate because, unlike those waifu-obsessed freaks, he did have a life and not enough time to actually remember her name. Something about light sabers. Or cats. — Are you going to kill me? 

He sighs because you sound like a broken record. All the time – the questions about his intentions, like you can’t see the tent in his pants every time you open your eyes, about letting you go, about at least allowing you to text your family that you decided to change your country of residence and would need to revoke your German visa. You’re way more soft than he thought you’d initially be – no fighting, no arguing, just pure terror and desire to die every time his hands brush over you. König is a sweet guy, as sweet as someone like him can be – but he only has a few weeks until his next mission, and even a few days of your moping around is bound to make him not just blue-balled, but also very, extremely, offensively hot-headed. 

He spent two days with you chained up in his basement and, he thinks, that should be enough for foreplay. He is extremely generous and kind – usually, at this point, he’d already start breaking the fingers of whoever poor fuck is his torture victim for the mission. 

— I don’t want to kill you. 

You whimper – somehow, his answer didn’t calm you down. Fucking women and their inability to talk to their kidnappers – he considers spiking your food just this once, so he could have a nice session with your little drunk self and some roofies but, of course, he is a nice guy who brought you takeout in a reheatable container, with a cute plastic fork and some sparkling water in a glass, just so you won’t feel like he is making you eat some garbage. It’s good food, too – he’d love to cook like this, but the heights of his skills are runny eggs and burnt coffee. He hopes you like the Italian because it’s the most inoffensive stuff he could have brought you without resorting to pizza and cup noodles. He will never let you eat cup noodles on his watch. 

— Are you going to rape me? 

He can’t exactly say no because, as a matter of fact, pulling your cute body under his is one of his intentions. He wanted to do it since he was you in this fucking store, but, of course. saying this to a pretty girl is lame. And completely counter-productive. And would make him a villain in your eyes, even though he tries so fucking hard to be a hero. He can make you feel good if you were to just open your pretty legs for him and moan under his tongue – god knows, he wants to make you feel good. He wonders what would it take for him to please you. If he could have a full-time job at this. 

— Nein. Thought I told you already. 

— I don’t…I shouldn’t believe you. 

He shook his head, pushing the plate(he had to go out of his way to actually put the pasta from the tray to a proper plate, enjoy this, woman) towards you. You’re adorable like this – naked, trembling, a bit too weak to actually fight him over not eating anything for the past two days – you’re repeating the same conversation over and over again and König wouldn’t mind living in a groundhog day if the loop would end with his fucking you on that thin mattress each time. 

Speaking of mattresses – he needs to get you a thicker one. 

Speaking of thicker mattresses – he needs to relocate you into his bedroom as soon as possible. 

Speaking of his bedroom – he is fucking bricked. 

— If you don’t trust me, why do you ask? 

You bite your lips. He can see you’re hungry and thirsty – he doesn’t want to forcefully feed you, so, yeah, you better be very hungry very soon. He pushes the plate towards you, hoping you won’t launch it on his head. He survived worse, a 6’4 British dude in a ski mask falling on him with the speed of Brexit, but getting hit by a plate when your angry girlfriend is being an angry girlfriend is…the best thing that could ever happen to him, actually. Gott, he is miserable. 

— I…I don’t know. Don’t want to get killed. 

— I won’t kill you. 

— But you will hurt me. 

— I don’t have to do that, Liebling. 

No, he doesn’t. 

But he sees the way your plushy thighs are squeezing into that tiny corner where your mat is, your squishy body getting all shaky and trembly, your lips in a tight line with tiny blood droplets from biting on them too much – and, by his fucking god, you’re beautiful. He wants to make you wet, to make you squirm, to make you beg and cry for mercy as he pounds into the sweetness of your cunt. He wants to try you on the inside and out, lick you all over from the inside, and then make you lick your love juices from his lips. 

König knows he is hard and can’t really hide it – it’s useless now, really, he is being very nice and considerate to you. Changing your life is hard, especially with how quickly you moved to his place – like a good boyfriend, he should help you adjust. And aid you in recognizing that he is, in fact, your boyfriend and future husband. The perfect partner to ever exist. — What is it? 

— Pasta. It’s…it’s good. Should be good. He is nervous, anxious. Seeing a pretty girl in her natural habitat – a Lego store – is one thing. He was barely able to talk to you properly, especially right after his deployment, where the only female attention he ever got was Roze asking to cover her or additional female soldiers groaning in pain as he stomped them. But you…he shouldn’t be colonel around you – absolutely not. You’re soft and civilian, you’re as polite as a girl in a basement could be, and you deserve to have something nice for once in your life. Licking his lips, König gently picks up a fork and presses a small amount of pasta – rich, creamy, with some nice cheese that smells divine - -against your lips. 

You refuse.

A smart move, he could have poisoned it – so he thinks for a few seconds, staring at you like a smart girlie you are, and then – lifts his hood. If only barely, revealing his scarred chin and bruised lips. The initial swelling after getting his head bumped by a guy who was speaking like an edgy teenager in the Counter-Strike lobby was already gone by the time he managed to get you into his basement – but no amount of rest could hide all other marks from his job. 

Despite being a seasoned mercenary with hundreds of killed targets and completed objectives, he feels…insecure. You’re a nice girl, a good girl, the type that used to look at him with hatred while he was bullied at school. Hatred or pity – but you only look at him with fear, and it cements his understanding that you’re not going to give in to loving him so easily.

König sighs deeply, his lips, curved into that awkward, boyish smile that creeps on his face every time he as much as thinks about you, now transforming into a scowl as you proceed to whimper and try to get lost in the wall behind you. Like he wouldn’t be able to track your scent if you would disappear. He slowly presses his fork towards his mouth, chewing on the food – showing you that it’s not poisoned. 

He smiles again when he sees you slowly parting your lips, expecting him to feed you with less of a fuss. He’d propose something else – maybe even untying your hands and allowing you to actually for yourself, but something in your helpless state made his cock throb in his pants. God, König knows he isn’t his strongest soldier, but could he please make you less adorable? He doesn’t want to push you on your knees and make you suck on him until he whimpers, but the way you lick all of the cheese from your lips and try your best to look presentable in front of him… The process of feeding someone shouldn’t really be sexual, but König gently pushes the hair away from your face and lifts up the fork over and over, sometimes only changing to bring a glass of water to your lips. He can do this all day. Every day. Pleasing you already becomes second nature – and he spends most of his life thinking that the only thing he can take care of is his rifle and a few tortured enemies that need their teeth extracted. You require gentle handling – and he wants nothing more but to give you that. Just…a bit later. Preferably after the already came in your pussy at least two or three times and made you choke on his dick as a little thank-you gift. 

You finish eating after a short while, thanking him for bringing you a napkin to clean your lips. König gently caresses your head, enjoying the sensation of your hair under his palm – it’s like petting a cat. A soft little pet just for him and no one else – if only he could actually bring you to like him. He has a few bond activities in mind, though. — You liked it, ja? 

You lick your lips again, and his breath hitches. This is going to be hard, this is going to be impossible, it’s worse than having to work with high Krueger on a ship that made everyone feel like they were the ones doing crack in the backroom of their makeshift base. 

— I…I did. 

He pets your head again like you’re his pet – and you gently move your head to lean into his touch. Perhaps you’re dumber than he thinks. Or way smarter – a clever strategy to make him relax and nice to you without making him too suspicious. You slowly get back into your corner, but König wouldn’t have any of it – he drags you back by your arm, making you whimper and sob in his hold. It’s bad, he doesn’t want you to squirm from under him as much as you do, but…if you don’t want to be a good girl, he might as well force you to. 

You cry as he pushes you deep into the corner, his hands roaming over your body. Thank god he ripped your clothes before you woke up – now there isn’t anything protecting you from his hands, not even that adorable bra he ripped in pieces because, as much as he loved wearing a uniform with straps and buttons everywhere, he could not figure out how to take this thing off you without breaking it. The last time he was sleeping with a woman, she wore a sports bra that could be taken off easily. It’s your fault that you decided to be more girly, really. Not his. 

His hands cup your breasts roughly. Tugs and twists your nipples, a few shaky moans telling him exactly how sensitive you are – he might not have a girl in a hot minute, too busy with being the best freaking mercenary in the world, but even he knows how to take care of a pretty thing like you. Your tits fit in his hands perfectly, even more, reasons to believe you were just made for him. Not for some lame job at a Lego store counter – you should be waiting on your knees in his bedroom, with your mouth open wide and neat to fit his cock right in. With some sweet things lingering on your tongue as he bullies himself right in, getting what he deserves for protecting peace – and installing violence – while doing his job. He might not be the best freaking guy around, but he deserves something nice. 

He pinches your nipples until they’re firm and swollen, every little cry escaping from your lips is only encouraging him to proceed. Licks on the open skin of your neck until his eneve stubble makes you whimper from how sensitive you are – it should be painful, he thinks, with how bloody the little bite marks from his teeth have become. 

König marks you as thoroughly as possible, smiling each time you cry and beg for him to stop. You’re changing between bad German and good English, between loud cries and small whimpers, which he can’t determine from pleasure to pain. Not like he cares, too determined to make you cry his name – even though you probably don’t know it. All of his desires to claim you taking full power now, not listening to the way you plead with him. Whimper for him. Your skin is a clear canvas, allowing him to paint you with hickeys and marks, enjoying the little blood droplets covering your collarbones. 

— Quiet, please. Don’t…don’t move, Schatzi. I don’t want to hurt you. 

— Please, please, just…anything but… — Won’t take long. Promise. 

— I don’t want to- — Quiet. I know you don’t, Liebling. Just…Scheisse, you…fuck. 

— Stop! — Can’t. I apologize, Schatzen. Relax for me, ja?

He whispers, he whimpers, he is almost out of his mind when he can finally put his tongue on your swollen nipples. For some weird, depraved reason, he almost expects the milk to start flowing from your chest, allowing him to drink up as much as he wants. If he could get you pregnant, he might enjoy it for a few months – although having a kid on his hip isn’t as fun as it could have. He tried to babysit Hutch kids once when he brought them to base – and it was the worst fucking day of his life. Besides, little children can’t be around Legos – it's already a deal breaker for someone like him. 

Speaking of legos…

You wiggle in his grasp, as good as you can with your hands still in the handcuffs – he should give you that one, at least you aren’t just laying lifelessly in front of him. At least you’re putting up a fight. At least he doesn’t feel too bad about restraining you without proper reasoning. You lick your lips again, that cute tongue of yours going over all the bite marks. You take a deep breath, shaking in his hold. God, he can just look in your face the whole day – barely knows how to handle himself around you. — I…I thought you wanted to…build this set with me? Smart girl. Way smarter than he gave you credit for – you know how to make him stop in his tracks and finally look at you differently. Maybe, you’re too good for him. Maybe, he doesn’t really care about that. Millennium Falcon, still sitting in the box – König hoped you’d start slowly putting it together but, seemingly, you need a bit of encouragement. The only thing that could tug him away from your breasts is the expensive set sitting just next to him. 

Might start bonding with you as well. He tugs away from your nipples with a loud pop, an obnoxiously wet sound emerging as a thin line of saliva connects your breasts and his tongue. You whimper when he smiles, that scarred face of his twisting in a huge grin. Knows he’s not the most charming person around, but it’s not like you have any choice now – not with the limited options he gave you. Like a good girl, you’d probably pick doing Lego Sets with him than taking his cock in that tight pussy of yours. He’d be satisfied with any outcome. — J…ja. I’d like that.  He has to give this one to you – you really know how to get a man going.

Bu building this insane set with him, that is.

[angelltheninth]

What Kind of Rizz Boku No Hero Academia Guys Have

Pairing: Izuku Midoriya, Bakugo Katsuki, Shoto Todoroki, Eijiro Kirishima, Tenya Iida, Keigo Takami, Toya Todoroki x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, wholesome, flirting, being flustered, kissing, blushing, love confession, holding hands, love letters

Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters

A/N: This started as a joke but I really liked it.

IZUKU

Has no intentional rizz. What he does have is completely by accident, so much so that he doesn't even notice it himself and neither do you for the longest time. Any rizz he may have is fumbled by his aggressive blushing and stuttering when you flirt with him and expect him to do the same. Even if he has no rizz he's cute, he's compassionate, he's hard-working, and for you he is indeed boyfriend material.

BAKUGO

Extremely aggressive rizz on his part. There's no way he won't flirt with you any chance he gets, pulling you by the wrist and kissing your cheek in the middle of the hallway. Anyone who would even try to make fun of him for it would get an earful of arguments and insults hurled at them and perhaps more of he feels really pissed off. You're his girlfriend and he will flirt with you no matter who is watching, he won't back down from it.

SHOTO

Feels too drawn back to have rizz but that actually works in his favor. He doesn't say much to you unless he really likes you, otherwise he keeps it to subtle and short handholding sessions. A lot of what he will do, how he will flirt, depends on the weather, if it's cold he offers to warm you up, if it's hot he offers to cool you down, he uses his powers to make you more comfortable. If you don't want to cuddle he won't force you of course, but it is one of his strongest rizz moves.

EIJIRO

Really hopes he has enough rizz to confess to you and have you become his girlfriend. When he tries to confess he often gets his words stuck in his throat and ends up saying something silly instead. He does a lot to try to impress you with his physical feats when his words fail him, he tries to do really well in sports or in any Quirk demonstrations. Finally he works up the courage to tell you how he feels but in the process of it his Quirk activates.

TENYA

Absolutely no rizz to be found in his entire body. This isn't because he's not trying hard to have rizz, to flirt, to get you to be the flustered one in the relationship but it has very little success because you know him too well. One kiss will render him powerless at your feet, a complete puddle on the floor and he really wants to counter it. Unfortunately he can't find the words but he does manage to slip a love letter into your locker and run before you can open it.

KEIGO

Probably has one of the highest amounts of rizz among the heroes. Some of it is intentional, some of it isn't, he's really not trying to flirt with you or anyone. However that is what happens when you're one of the most famous, and in your opinion, handsome heroes in the whole world. He doesn't shy away from flirting with you in public, in front of cameras and reporters, in fact he will kiss you full on the mouth and have it make the news.

TOYA

Does have rizz, knows he has rizz, and uses that to his advantage to get you on his side when he needs to. Sure, he's the villain, he's the bad guy, the one man you shouldn't be attracted to and yet when he whispers sweet nothings in your ear you want nothing more than to be his. When you do go over to his side he doesn't stop, he pulls you onto his lap during meetings, grins while others groan at the sight. There is no force in the world that can stop his flirting.

[phoward89]

Based on this ask

Dark!Coriolanus Snow x Reader, Stalker!Coriolanus x Reader

WARNING ⚠️ Coriolanus Snow is a warning in and of itself. Stalking, obsession, controlling behavior, manipulation, slight kidnapping?, smut, breeding kink, masterbation, p in v, noncon, dubcon, degradation

Coriolanus Snow to the unsuspecting eye was a gentleman. He was clean cut, dressed well, seemed well mannered and sophisticated. He was also very successful and wealthy.

Coriolanus didn't come across as a dangerous man, as somebody that would lurk in the shadows of the night outside of your windows, but he was. He truly was.

Unfortunately for you, you caught his eye one day while simply passing him by along the street. He just had to know who you were, so one evening he found himself loitering outside of his penthouse building, waiting for you to pass by again. And when you did, he followed you.

He kept a reasonable distance so you wouldn't know you were being followed. Clever, right?

Well, he ended up following you to your building. He followed you inside and stalked you as you went to the area in the lobby the mailboxes were at. He watched as you retrieved your mail and then left to use the stairwell to reach your floor.

Of course, he went over to the mailbox and looked at the one he'd just seen you open.

Low and behold your name and address was written on it.

Y/N Halvir, Apt. 401.

Coriolanus couldn't help, but think that your name suits you. A beautiful name for a beautiful young lady. A young lady that he's become obsessed with. No, not just obsessed, but love struck by.

And it was at that very moment that Coriolanus Snow decided he's going to stalk her. Except in his mind it's not stalking because he has no ill will towards you. He just wants to watch you, well actually he wants to study you, before he approaches you; asks you out.

Coriolanus watches you for weeks upon weeks. So many weeks, in fact, that it turns into months. What was supposed to be watching you short term became a long term thing.

And what made it alarming was that he'd stand on the fire escape right outside of your bedroom and peek inside the window; watch you sleep in the dead of night. Oh, how he hated the nights where there wasn't any moonlight. It was always a struggle to see you on those nights.

And it was on one of those nights that Coriolanus’ stalking took a turn for the worse.

It was a dark and moonless night, a hot one too since it was summer. The AC unit in your building had broken and the building superintendent said that it'd take a few days for the unit to be repaired. Apparently a part for the unit had to be bought and imported from 3. So, since it was so hot, you opened your window to let in some fresh air to cool you during the night.

Something you did innocently is now being used for dark actions. Coriolanus, needing to see you, shoves your window up even higher, only to use it to climb into your bedroom. A bedroom that you're currently sound asleep in; unaware of the danger lurking mere yards away from you. But, as it would turn out, being yards away from you wasn't enough.

No.

Coriolanus had to be closer to you. So much closer that he walked up to your side of the bed, looming over your body, which was covered in a silky cami and sleep shorts- shorts so small that they could be considered underwear. Coriolanus can see the sweet cheeks of your ass and, being a classic T&A man, all the blood in his body rushes straight to his cock.

The sudden hard bulge straining against his pants is too tight and very uncomfortable. So much so, that the platinum blonde man starts to palm and his aching hardness in a desperate move to feel some relief. But, as it turns out, palming his bulge didn't bring him relief.

Instead, it made him mad with desire. His cock grew harder and his thirst for release grew. Grew so unquenchable that He unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants, and tugged out his cock.

Coriolanus let out a hissing sigh as his fist wrapped around his aching cock, thumb gathering the pre-cum leaking from his angry red tip. He's literally biting his tongue to stay quiet as he lubes his length with his precum. His balls tingle at the vulgarity of the situation he's in as he starts to pump his cock.

Oh, how being so close to you; watching your beautiful, angelic body sleeping is such a turn on for Coriolanus. He knows it's not normal to sneak into somebody's bedroom window, stand feet away from them, and jerk off, but when has he ever been normal? In fact, Coriolanus thinks himself as extraordinary and above everyone- even the law, social normalities and taboos.

His cerulean eyes lock onto your form as his hand glides up and down his long, hard shaft. He gives his cock a light squeeze as his wrist gets close to the base of him- in his fantasies he's pretending that it's your soft hand gripping him and jerking him off. Oh, how he can't wait for the day he had you on your knees playing with his cock like a good lil slut.

He plans on teaching you exactly how he likes to be fondled and sucked. Coriolanus will also train you in bed, make sure you know how he expects you to behave while he fucks you.

Just the thought of training you to be his lil fuckdoll has his cock throbbing in his hand. Oh, he's so close to cumming. He'd love nothing more then to cum in your tight lil cunt, maybe even on or in your ass too, but he can't do that tonight.

No.

Tonight all he can do is cum on your carpet and pray that you don't notice the spot.

And that's exactly what Coriolanus does. He fucks his fist with such vigor that he bites the inside of his cheek, drawing blood, as he cums- shooting white ropes of his seed onto your bedside rug.

After he's spent, he quickly tucks himself away and straightens his pants before buckling his belt and climbing out of your window. As he walks down your fire escape, Coriolanus decides that he's going to approach you tomorrow on the Corso sidewalk, make small talk, and ask you out.

After the special moment you just shared, how could he go another day without locking you away in a golden gilded cage?

It's early evening and you're on your way home from work. You work as a secretary for your father, Colonel Javani Halvir, at his consulting firm that specializes in military strategies. The pay was good and you got along with your boss, given that he's your dad.

The hours were a bit hectic sometimes, but your father never let you work overtime. He always sent you home at 5 o’clock, saying that he didn't want his only daughter to become an obsessed work-a-holic.

And home just happened to be an apartment off of a Corso side street.

Your father helped you pick out the building since it was close to your family's apartment on the Corso. Your father didn't want you too far away from home for fear that something might happen to you.

Of course, Javani Halvir never dreamed that the newly hired Assistant Gamemaker Coriolanus Snow, the son of his former best friend General Crassus Snow, would be a danger to you living alone in your own apartment. But how would your father know about the dangers that linger along the Corso?

No one ever thinks that stalkers, lowlifes, and *gasp* killers live and mill around the Corso. Those types of people are found in the part of town the rail station’s in.

Anyways, you're walking down the street, minding your own business, whenever somebody accidentally bumps into you while passing you by. You're wobbly on your feet due to your high heels; you would've called down too from being bumped into if a large hand didn't wrap around your arm and balance you.

You look up and to the side slightly, to thank whoever just saved you from busting your ass, only to lock eyes with the most beautiful man you've ever seen. His eyes are a breathtaking shade of icy blue and his platinum blonde hair’s slicked back neatly, you also take in that chiseled jaw’s clean shaven. His nose is also prominent and seems to make him look distinguished.

“Are you alright, miss? I'm sorry for bumping into you.” The man, who looked like he was sculpted by the gods himself, asks with a concerned look painting his features.

“Oh, yes, I'm alright.” You assure the man. “Thank you.” You smile, feeling butterflies form in your stomach from the smile that the platinum blonde man gives you.

A smile that's all pearly whites and charm.

The man introduces himself with, “I'm Coriolanus Snow; who might you be?”

“Y/N Halvir.” You simply tell him.

“Well, Y/N, why don't I take you out to dinner as an apology for nearly knocking you over on the sidewalk?” Coriolanus suggests, sounding like a proper gentleman wanting to write a simple wrong- an accident really.

“Okay.” You agree to the impromptu and random dinner date. But, you don't want to go out in your work clothes. “But I'd like to get changed into something nice first.”

“Oh, why don't I walk you to your apartment then?” Coriolanus asks, feeling so excited at being presented with the opportunity to be inside of your apartment.

And how he does love being inside of your apartment.

“If you don't mind waiting in the lobby, then sure you can walk me.” You reply. Honestly, you thought he'd just ask for your address and pick you up later. But that wasn't the case.

Something shines in Coriolanus' bright blue eyes as he counters your request with, “I don't see why I can't wait in your living room while you freshen up in your bedroom.”, while offering you his arm.

“We just met, Coriolanus.” You remind him while looping your arm in the crook of his. “I don't think it'd be proper for you to be waiting around for me in my living room while I change.”

“Y/N, my darling rose, I assure you that I'm an absolute gentleman and a proper Capitolite man. I won't bother you while you get dolled up.” Coriolanus pitched, sounding very sincere and trustworthy, as he walked down the sidewalk with you.

You assume that you're leading him to your apartment, but that's not the case at all. He already knows where it is. But you don't need to know that.

Coriolanus is truly a charming snake, telling you sweet lies that sound like gospel truth. He makes you feel comfortable with him; let down your guard just with bewitching smiles and a smooth baritone with a friendly undertone to it.

So, against your better judgment, you fold. You agree to let Coriolanus stay in your living room while you change into a nice dress for dinner.

While you're changing in your room, Coriolanus is jerking off in your bathroom. He can't help it, just being invited inside of your apartment as your man has his cock rock hard and throbbing. He has to take care of it otherwise he won't be able to sit thru dinner with you. He can't have that, now can he?

If he had any morals, any convictions at all, he'd feel horrible about standing above your toilet, fisting his cock as fast and hard as possible. But Coriolanus has no morals or convictions; he has no qualms with being a sinner. The platinum blonde enjoys the sins of the flesh, his black heart’s lifeblood is that of wicked deeds that gets him what he wants.

So, with his teeth sunk into his bottom lip, he tugs at his cock until his cum spurts out into the toilet bowl below him.

Aftering cleaning up and righting himself, Coriolanus returns to the living room and sits in a sitting chair to wait for you. Acting as if he wasn't just masturbating in your bathroom to fantasies of you.

And when you finally emerge from your bedroom, dressed in a cute cocktail dress, Coriolanus is instantly on his feet, telling you how beautiful you look.

His compliment has you smiling. So much so, that your smile causes him to crack one as well.

And then you're off to a very nice restaurant nearby for your first date. A first date that went off without a hitch. Coriolanus was ever the gentleman; knew all the charming things to say to have you wrapped around his finger.

You felt comfortable around him, which is what he wanted. Is why he was so attentive to you during dinner.

So, when he asked you to his place for some after dinner drinks and to continue talking, well, you said yes. Of course you did, he made you feel special. He has you eating out of the palm of his hand and you didn't even know it.

“Your place is really nice.” You tell him as he leads you into the main room of the house, which is richly decorated in tones of blues, greys, and whites. The furniture's also very sleek and high end. Plush white upholstered sitting chairs and a sofa, glass coffee table, mahogany accent furniture, Tiffany lamps, onyx wall scones- truly high end furnishings.

“Thank you.” Coriolanus responds, his lips in a thin line that could constitute as a barely there smile. With his hand resting on the small of your back, he leads you towards a hallway. You look up at him with questioning eyes. “I don't live alone. This is my family penthouse, so we'll have to entertain ourselves in my bedroom so we don't accidentally wake up my sleeping grandmother, Grandma'am.” Coriolanus tells you as an answer to your unspoken question.

“Oh.” Shoots out of your mouth rather fast and squeakily. You weren't expecting to hear that. “But what about the wine?” You ask, remembering that the sole reason for agreeing to even come up to his penthouse was to have a glass of wine and continue talking to get to know each other.

“I have a mini wine fridge in my room, darling. Have some glasses too, so don't worry we'll have that glass of wine.” The platinum blonde with mesmerizing cerulean eyes assures you while leading you to the very room where your life will be changed.

You only have a few sips of your wine before Coriolanus, who's sitting next to you on a settee, takes your glass from you and sets it aside. His large calloused hands frame your face as his lips press against yours in a saccharine kiss. A kiss that's sugar and honey, full of promises of tender moments and pleasure to come.

Your breath hitches as your hands find their way to his shoulders to hold onto as a grounding anchor. He takes the opportunity of your lips slightly parting to deepen the kiss. As his tongue explores your mouth; dancing exotically with yours, you find your senses flaring on fire. Just the pleasure of his fervent kiss, a kiss so intense and borderline sloppy, sent your body into a whirlwind.

You've never been kissed like this before.

“Oh, baby, I need you so badly.” Coriolanus confesses between trailing kisses along your jaw and down your neck.

“Corio-” You begin to say him name, only to cut yourself off with a surpriseed whine as you feel his fingertips brushing against the wet patch on your panties. When did he slide his hand underneath your dress? You didn't even notice.

“Baby, call me Coryo.” He orders, nibbling the sweet spot below your ear; making you moan breathily. Rubbing his finger over your wet, clothed slit, he groans into your neck, “Fuck, you're growing wetter by the minute.”

“Cause you're teasing me, Coryo.” You cheeky reply while feeling your clit begin to throb with anticipation and need. Oh gods, how you need to be touched or you're going to go crazy.

Coriolanus would get you all hot and bothered by his expert kisses and teasing touches.

“Oh, I am, am I?” Coryo asked, pulling his face out of the crook of your neck only to look down at you. A mischievous twinkle appears in his icy eyes as he smirks, “Well, we can't have that, now can we?”

He watches you with eagle eyes as he nudges your thighs open a tad bit and slides your panties to the side; running his finger up your slit to collect your wetness before rubbing your clit- causing a mewl to fall out of your mouth. The noises you make sound like music to Coriolanus’ ears; he wants to hear more. So much so, that he removes his hand from in between your thighs while huskily telling you, “Let's take this to the bed” His icy eyes are blown dark with lust as he adds in the promise of, “I'll make you sing like a canary.

“Okay.” You nod, too lost to your own growing lust to protest. Your pussy's aching for relief, aching to be filled and fucked. You'd be a fool to push away the handsome platinum Adonis wanting to fuck you.

Coryo flashes you a sensual look before standing and holding his hand out to you. Giving him a sultry look of your own while placing your hand in his; letting him pull you to your feet. You're expecting him to lead you over to his large king-sized bed, but instead he picks you up bridal style and carries you over to it. With a smoldering look, he places you on the bed.

“Oh, you look perfect perched on my bed, darling.” Coryo tells you, his icy eyes sweeping over you, as he quickly sheds his clothes.

“Perched on your bed? Am I your little bird now?” You joke, kicking off your heels and pulling your dress off over your head; tossing it to the side.

“Yes, darling, you're my little dove.” Coryo replies, striding over to the bed in nothing, but his black boxer briefs.

Boxer briefs that show off the very large cock he's packing.

Holy shit!

Coriolanus is a very endowed man. And this you can tell just by the big, heavy outline of his dick.

It makes your mouth water.

“Like what you see, my little dove?” Corio asks, his baritone deep with lust, as he pulls down his boxer briefs, causing his large length to spring forward and slap against his stomach.

“Yes.” You nod as he gets into bed.

“I think you're overdressed, baby.” He tells you, pulling you to sit up. “I'll just have to take care of that.” The platinum blonde smirks, unclasping your bra and pulling it off of you. “My God, your tits are perfect.” He nearly groans at the sight of your perky tits and their nipples just begging for him to tweak.

“You're a tittie man, aren't you?” You knowingly ask as Coryo grabs your breasts in his large hands while licking a stripe up the valley between your breasts.

He rests his chin in your cleavage while looking up at you. “Why yes, I just happen to enjoy good ol’ T&A.”

“You're perfect, aren't you?” You jokingly ask as he buries his face in your tits, pinching and tweaking your nipples between his thumbs and forefingers.

“Mhm…” He hums while leaving sloppy, wet, open mouth kisses all over your breasts.

The feeling of him playing with your nipples and lavishing your boobs with kisses and love bites has your pussy pooling. So much so that you begin to grind your cunt against his cock, which is pinned between his stomach and your pelvis as he's on top of you.

“You’re cunt's greedy for my cock, isn't she, little dove?” Coryo asks, sitting back on his haunches and gliding his large hands down your torso to stop at your hips. “Don't worry, I'll give that cunt of yours the biggest cock you've ever had.” He promises, hooking his fingers in the waistband of your panties and pulling them down your legs.

“Please, Coryo. I need you so bad.” You beg as soon as the cool night air hits your hot, wet, needy pussy. Oh gods, the sensation’s driving you wild.

“You're so desperate for my cock, you're begging like a lil slut.” He tells you, giving his cock a few pumps.

The filthy words falling from Coryo's sophisticated mouth has your cunt drooling. Oh God, how those dirty, degrading words do something to you. You don't know why, but it turns you on.

Coryo thumbs his leaking tip, spreading his precum, before lining his cock up with your tight hole; getting into position to fuck you- to finally fulfill his fantasies. He's been waiting for this heavenly night for what feels like an eternity. Now that he has you spread out on his bed, legs wide out and begging him to fuck you like a good, needy girl, he's about to combust.

Coriolanus can't wait any longer. He has the patience of a saint and the soul of the devil when it comes to you. He took so long to reach this moment, but no that he has- well…he's never letting you go. No, he pushes his fat cock into your cunt, stretching you wider then you've ever been stretched before, and decides that he's not letting you out of his house.

Ever.

You belong to him now.

And he tells you as much once he bottoms out in you. But the way he words it is frightening and alarming.

“You're never leaving my penthouse, baby. You're my little pet now.” Coriolanus groans as he snaps his hips, pushing his cock in and out of your tight, wet went. Your velvety walls fit him like a glove. “Your cunt was made for my cock and only my cock; I'm never letting you out of my front door unless I'm escorting you somewhere.” He vows, causing a dreadful feeling to stir up deep inside of your chest.

“Coryo?” There's so many unsaid questions in the puzzled way you call out his name as pleasure burns in your core from the deep, steady pace he's fucking you in.

“I've been watching you for a while, darling. Peer inside your window every night, just dreaming about fucking you full of my babies.” Coriolanus confesses, his tone dark and husky, as he pistons in and out of you.

Your eyes widen in panic as his words register inside of your head. He wasn't dirty talking anymore, but confessing his dark sins. The sudden reaction that Coryo's been stalking you, for only the gods know how long, sends you into a panic. Your fight or flight instincts kick in and you're suddenly pushing against his shoulders, attempting to push the regal platinum blonde off of you while pleading, “Get off, Coryo. Please, get off of me.”

“Oh, I'm getting off alright, baby. Right in your tight cunt that belongs to me.” Coriolanus darkly chuckled, pinning your arms about your head. He uses one of his large hands to hold both your wrists while his other hand wraps around your neck. He bends his head, making his nose brush against yours, as he tells you in a devilish hiss, “Now, my little dove, stop fighting this and just accept that you're mine. That as soon as you set foot inside of this penthouse your independent identity ceased to exist; that your purpose is to be locked in the golden gilded cage I created for you.”

“Please-” You began to cry, only to be cut off by Coriolanus squeezing your throat lightly while ordering, “Don't cry and be afraid, baby. There's nothing to be afraid of, I'm not Jack the Ripper.”

No, he's worse.

Your cunt's fluttering around his cock as he pounds into you. Your body's feeling immense pleasure, but your soul's terrified. How can something feel so right, but be so wrong? You're torn between wanting to cum and wanting to run away.

“I love you, Y/N, and I'm gonna keep you with me forever.” The icy eyed man pinning you to the bed, fucking you with fervor and obsessive passion, told you in a sickenly sweet tone. “I'm gonna fuck you full of my baby, little dove.”

A baby? Oh no, you weren't ready for that yet.

“Coryo-” You began, having the intention of talking some sense into the psychotic, but handsome man fucking your brains out. But he cuts you off with a sloppy, heated kiss that's all teeth and passion.

A kiss that has your brain scrambling and your body blazing with want and need. As sick as it sounds, your lips respond to his kiss.

Oh, what the hell's wrong with you.

The kiss soon turns into an open mouth kiss, one that's dirty and full of spittle and gnashing teeth. “Fuck, baby, your cunt's clenching my cock. You gonna cum soon?” Coriolanus groans, picking up his speed as he pistons his cock in and out of his prize- your pussy.

“Yea, I'm close.” You tell him, feeling ashamed that your stalker’s bringing you so much pleasure.

“Oh, my pretty girl, be a good lil slut for me and cum on my cock.” Coryo orders, his voice raspy from lust, as pulls his hand off of your throat only to use the pad of his thumb to roughly rub at your swollen clit. “Cum for me, little dove.” He grunts, fucking into you hard and fast, as you begin to lightly thrash around under him.

Your body wants to cum so bad, but your mind's screaming that this is so wrong. That Coryo's obsession with you isn't normal, despite how good his dick's making your pussy feel.

“I want you to milk my cock, baby. Milk it dry so I can knock you up; make you a beautiful mother.” Coryo whispers huskily in your ear while doubling his frantically fast efforts on your clit.

You don't know if it's the dirty words being whispered or the feel of your clit being roughly rubbed paired with the large, girthy, cock splitting you open and hitting your g-spot just right, but you cum with a loud cry.

Coriolanus' cerulean blue eyes roll into the back of his head as he fuvks you thru your orgasm. The feeling of your cunt spasming and squeezing his cock has him cumming in mere minutes.

“Oh, fuck…fuck, baby, I'm filling you up til my cum's leaking out of your tight cunt.” Cory groans and grunts as his cock's milked by your cunt.

You feel his warm seed coating your inner walls and you can't help but feel like your life's over. Coriolanus Snow's the top Assistant Gamemaker; works right underneath Head Gamemaker Dr. Gaul herself. He's rich and highly respected in the Capitol’s high society. Nobody will ever believe you, believe that Coriolanus is a psychopathic demon. That he stalked you and lured you to his lair, only to trick you into his bed only to reveal his nefarious intentions.

Why would anyone believe you? You're just a young lady that works at her father's consulting firm as a secretary. You have no prospects or suitors. While Coriolanus is a very successful man and some people would consider you lucky for catching his eye.

But you don't feel lucky. You feel like a bird that just had its wings clipped.

You know, without a doubt, that Coriolanus is never letting you go now. No, not with the creampie leaking from your cunt; the possibility that it creates his baby inside of you.

You're so lost in your own thoughts that you don't even notice Coriolanus roll off of you or pull you onto his arms to cuddle. But you're shaken out of your inner musings when he kisses you and declares, “You’re mine forever now, darling. I'm never letting you go.”

And you believe it. Deep down in your very soul you know that there's no escaping him.

Tags: @kuroosbby001 @purriteen @poppyflower-22 @meetmeatyourworst @whipwhoops @bxtchopolis @readingthingsonhere @savagenctzen @ryswritingrecord @erikasurfer @tulips2715 @universal-s1ut @thesmutconnoisseur @squidscottjeans @sudek4l @wearemadeofstardust0 @mashiromochi @gracieroxzy @belcalis9503 @shari-berri @aoi-targaryen @whiteoakoak @spear-bearing-bi-witch @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons @qoopeeya @mfnqueen1 @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @v-love @swiftieblyth @joyfulyouthlover @princess-harvey @chxrrybomb22 @marvel-hiddles-stark @xjinnix @devils-blackrose @zombicupcake3 @jacesvelaryons @tempt-ress

[irisintheafterglow]

blood moonlit, must be counterfeit

summary: a guy at a party has a really good dynamight costume, and you two get to talking about your favorite heroes. (pro!bakugo x you)

wc: 1.68k

cw/tags: swearing ofc cuz it's bakugo, mentions of drinking and alcohol, halloween party, first meeting, emotionally constipated katsuki and reader is kinda oblivious lol

note: NEW HALLOWEEN HEADER BABY also this idea had me by the throat so i needed to write it down before it consumed my entire psyche. i'm back to writing for bakugo again because iykyk and halloween fics are giving me a lot of motivation right now. hope you enjoy!

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3

“I have to admit–your costume is pretty damn good.”

“Yeah? Just ‘pretty good?’”

“Mhmm. Almost looks like the real thing,” you remark, taking another sip of the dangerously sweet jungle juice in your cup. It's an unreadable mix of bad ideas and bold flirtation, perfect for a Halloween party of barely 21 adults. The blonde guy beside you on the worn leather couch tilts his head slightly like he's re-affirming what you just said in his mind. “I think the real Dynamight would be impressed.”

“Would he, now,” he huffs under his breath, mouth curling into an unreadable smirk. He exhales a quick breath of what you think is amusement through his nose, eyes flicking over your body for the umpteenth time since he sat down with you. It makes your face heat up and you casually avert your gaze downward, catching more details of his costume that you didn’t notice before. 

The gauntlets were obviously the star of the arrangement, covered in numerous scratches, burns, and dents that attested to their “battle” usage. The boots were impressive, too, and you wondered how long it took to place every individual orange eyelet over the front of each calf. The cinder block rectangles sitting on his broad shoulders truly looked like real stone, solid like the toned muscle holding them up. It was the domino mask that threw you off the most, though. The guy must have been wearing bright red contacts, or something, because to look so similar to the actual Pro should have been considered a crime. 

“Who’d you come to the party with?”

“Just some friends,” he replies, shrugging an infuriatingly sexy shoulder. His entire look was putting the real Dynamight to shame, in your opinion. He nods upward in the direction of a guy in an equally accurate Deku costume standing with a very convincing Shoto lookalike. “They dared me to wear this and I lost the bet.”

“Must have been some bet, if you’re moping over here like a toddler.” The shrewdness of your words escapes you until they’re already past your lips; thankfully, he just smirks again and leans his head back, resting an arm on the back of the sofa.

“I’ll ignore that you said that, 'cause you're clearly intoxicated” he mutters, shooting you a brutal side-eye. Thanks to the alcohol, though, you’re far from deterred. 

“How gracious,” you chuckle and his smirk gets a little more arrogant. “What was the bet?”

“Some dumb drinking contest. That asswipe in the green can put down more shots than he looks.” He scowls and you fight down the urge to giggle at his bitter expression. He was the only guy you’ve ever seen that could make a grumpy face look hot. The only guy besides Bakugo himself, of course. “I wouldn’t have worn this shit to a party to save my life.”

“What, Dynamight isn’t your favorite Pro?”

“I’m more of an All Might guy,” he replies nonchalantly. He appreciates the classic heroes. Good sign. “If I had to choose a different one, I’d probably say Jeanist.”

“Jeanist is pretty cool. My best friend had a cardboard cutout of Eraserhead in her closet growing up.” He barks out a laugh and it startles you, but a mysterious feeling in your stomach wants to make him do it again. “What do you think of the current gen of heroes?” He hums thoughtfully, running his tongue over his top lip and you swallow back your drool.

“Red Riot’s a good guy. Deku pisses me the fuck off, but he’s got a good head on his shoulders. Same thing with Pinky and that Half-and-Half asshat. Chargebolt…” His expression turns into a frown so deep you’re worried that Chargebolt killed his family or something heinous like that. 

“What about him?”

“He’s just dumb. If given the choice between his life and a grain of sand, I’d take the sand,” he deadpans and you choke unexpectedly, wincing as your drink travels up the wrong tube and into your nose. His eyes widened in concern, reaching out to pat your back but deciding against it at the last moment. His glove-covered hands hover around you like you’re radioactive matter, carefully watching as you regain your composure. “You good, nerd?” Uses the same vocabulary as the real guy, too. Kind of weird, but I guess we all have our idols. 

“Yeah, I’m good. I just didn’t expect you to badmouth him like you two were friends from high school or something,” you joke lightheartedly and the guy blinks at you twice before computing what you said. 

“It’s whatever. They’re super fuckin’ easy to read, in any case,” he states with an air of finality and you down the rest of your drink, the dim lighting starting to blur everything around you into a single greenish-orange blob. “What about you? What are your thoughts on the new gen?”

“I can’t make such bold judgments as you, but I do think Dynamight is pretty cool,” you admit, suddenly feeling a little bashful when having the same question turned on you. The truth was, you followed the lives of the heroes a bit too closely than the average person should. It fascinated you so much that you were majoring in Quirk-specific journalism, studying the social and economic consequences of being a Pro. “I think his public persona is an interesting case when compared to other heroes.”

“How so?”

“Well, I’d like to imagine that he’s not always the loud, arrogant, obnoxious piece of shit that the press shows,” you start and narrow your eyes in confusion when he flinches at your description. You continue anyway but choose your words a little more carefully. Probably isn’t good to upset the guy who might have fashioned functioning gauntlets, if the costume truly is accurate. “There’s a side to him that I think the public doesn’t know about and doesn’t care to know about, since it’s easier to understand him as a loudmouth with no sense of manners. I just wonder who that guy is under all the yelling and testosterone.” His silence is deafening and you worry that you somehow offended him, but his tone is so gentle that your assumption becomes an impossibility.

“Seems like you’ve given this guy a great deal of thought,” he says lowly, voice barely audible over the sound of the blaring house music. 

“Well, he is my favorite,” you add quietly, not expecting him to catch what you said. He does, though, and that mischievous smirk returns to his face. Somehow, you two had inched closer together over the course of your conversation, and you were now close enough to smell his cologne. It was something deep and smoky, with a surprise note of sweetness, like caramel. “I’ve been following his hero career since I was in high school.”

“I didn’t take you for a superfan, but I do appreciate your support,” he chuckles and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You seriously haven’t figured it out?”

“Figured what out?”

“That I’m Dynamight, stupid. This is my actual costume and those are my actual friends. Hell, I'm paying for this whole shitty party,” he says incredulously, genuinely shocked that you didn’t come to that conclusion already. Your skepticism, however, rears its head and you burst out into rude laughter. 

Dynamight? Yeah, right. More like Dyna-maybe. 

“Excuse me?” He stares at you like you’d grown three heads and your heart drops into your stomach. You must have said your thoughts out loud. Fuck! “You’ve got some nerve, testing the patience of a Pro.” His words, under any other circumstances, would have cut down your pride like a knife. However, his eyes were conveying a different story, one of lust and want and holyshityouwantedhim. “Got anything to say, sweetheart? Or are you gonna just keep gaping like a fuckin’ goldfish?” You abruptly snap your jaw back into place, leaning your head into your hand and smiling in triumph when his gaze again uncontrollably rakes over your body.  

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“See what, gorgeous?”

“That a Pro kisses better than a normal person,” you murmur and his pupils blow to the size of pool balls. He wastes no time, gently but firmly grabbing your chin with two fingers and pulling your mouth onto his. His lips are ridiculously soft and you muster up the courage to bite him softly, heartbeat racing when he groans into your mouth. One arm drapes itself over the back of the couch, the other pulling you as close to him as humanly possible without practically sitting on him. Your hand combs through his hair and the other keeps him on you by the back of his neck.

Right when you run out of breath, he pulls away and swears colorfully at the phone buzzing in his pocket, answering it with one hand while his forearm is still pressed against your lower back. You absentmindedly trace his jawline with a finger while he curses out the person on the other line, eventually chucking the device over his shoulder like it was the last thing he was thinking about. “You need to go somewhere, sweetheart?” He lightly pinches your side at your mockery and you jump, flicking his forehead in defiance. 

“Nah, that was a job for Dynamight. Right now, I guess I’m still fuckin' Dyna-maybe,” he rasps and leans back in to kiss you again but you push his face away, giving him as sober of a look as possible. “What?”

“If you need to go kick ass, then go kick ass. I’m just some random makeout at a party,” you remind him, painfully aware of the sting if he was to leave you alone. His expression contorts into indignancy again but you still try to convince him to alleviate whatever situation he was called in for. “Your job is more important than a hookup.”

“I don’t do hookups, dumbass. I’m interested in you,” he states plainly and your face is set on fire. The Pro, who you just insulted to his face, was interested in you? “So, let’s get out of here, yeah? I can make you dinner that isn’t shitty pizza.” His mouth breaks into a devilish grin and you’re already grabbing onto his hand like your life depended on it. 

“If someone messes with us?”

“It’s a good thing I’m already in costume.” 

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[saint-ambrosef]

newbie's guide to produce

for all my peers who were not taught how to shop for veggies and fruit on a budget and struggle to use them before they go bad:

(disclaimer: prices are approximate based on where i live in the Southern US. costs may be higher in your area, but the comparison of cost should still be valuable.)

cheap produce year-round:

roma tomatoes. if they look under-ripe you can leave them on the counter for a few days. keeps in fridge for about 2 weeks. $1/lb.

cucumbers. around here they're 50-60 cents each. go bad quickly though, about 1 week in fridge.

celery. two bucks for a head. starts to get sad after two weeks in fridge. only makes sense if you like to snack on celery or make soups often.

corn. whole ears are like 20cents each mid-summer, otherwise just get frozen. $1.50 for a lb.

peas. get these puppies frozen for $1.50/lb. good protein, too.

romaine lettuce. one head is good for several small salads, about $2 and lasts a week in fridge. the big boxes/multi-packs may seem like a better deal but not if it all goes bad before you can eat it.

onions. kind of a given but you can get regular yellow varietals for less than a buck per pound. will last for 1-2 months in pantry.

potatoes. you can get 5lb bags of russets for three bucks. sweet potatoes are a lil over $1/lb. last 2-3 months in pantry; if they grow sprouts, you can cut those off and still eat it.

bananas. dirt cheap. a small bunch (4-5) costs like a dollar. if they go over-ripe before you eat them all just get less or get a few green ones (p.s: you're allowed to break them off larger clumps).

radishes. $1.50 for a little bundle. greens get wilty after a week, roots will last 2 weeks (you can use both parts).

hot peppers. poblano, jalapeno, etc., are often quite cheap and you usually don't need very many anyways. few weeks fridge or counter.

cheap produce when in season:

summer squash. in summertime (duh), zucchini and yellow squash are like $1.25/lb. only last a week or so though in fridge.

winter squash. actually in season in fall, these are your butternuts and acorn squash. less than $1/lb then. lasts in pantry for months.

green beans. in warm months they can be on sale for $1.50/lb! last 1.5-2 weeks in fridge? (kinda depends on the shape they're in)

kale. it's a cool-season green that commonly is on sale in colder months. $1.60 for a big bunch, about 1.5 weeks in fridge before it gets seriously wilty. (can be eaten cooked or raw!)

apples. fall/winter, usually at least one variety on sale for $1.25/lb. last forever.

oranges. most citrus are winter fruits. $1/lb. will last forever in your fridge.

strawberries. spring. at their peak, i can find them for $2/lb. otherwise they are too expensive.

watermelon. $8 for big 10lb melons. they can take up a ton of space though and need to be refrigerated once cut/ripe.

cantaloupe. another summer star! $1.50 each on sale. they will slow ripen in the fridge but you do have to keep an eye on it.

pineapple. $1.50 in summer time. might be ripe even when still a bit green, ready when they smell noticeably ripe.

pears. fall season, sometimes into winter. $1.20/lb. last 1-2 weeks on the counter or forever in the fridge.

pomegranate. in winter time they can be found for $2 each. tricky to peel though.

peaches. and nectarines (which are just fuzzless peaches). $1.25/lb in summer and will last for weeks in your fridge.

eggplants. summertime veggie, you can get for $1.50 when they're on sale. otherwise a bit pricey. keep in fridge for 2 weeks.

mid-range produce:

cabbage. three bucks for a 2-lb head but you can get a lot out of it. will keep 3-4 weeks in the fridge but any exposed cut sides will start moldering after a week.

mushrooms. white button or baby bella. $1.50 for 8oz. keep in mind, mushrooms halve in size after cooking. ~2 weeks though.

avocados. if you live in the South like me, small hass varietals are 60-80 cents apiece in winter. ripe when it gives just a little to squeezing (you can't go off color alone).

broccoli. fresh is $1.70ish per head and lasts a week in fridge. frozen is $1.50/lb but might be kind of mushy.

most greens. spring mixes, spinach, arugula, etc can really vary in price but often fall into a few bucks at least per bundle/package. in a fridge's humidity drawer they last 1-2 weeks.

kiwis. i love them but they're a bit pricey for their size. 50 cents each. their keep depends on how ripe they are at purchase.

expensive produce:

asparagus. one of the most expensive veggies. sometimes in spring you can get it for $2/lb (a steal but still a bit much). lasts 1.5 weeks.

brussel sprouts. same as above.

red or yellow bell peppers. they are used sooo often in recipes and it annoys me. often $1.50-2.00 each. last a long time in fridge.

caluiflower. three bucks for a head. yikes!

green beans. when they're not in season, they are like $3/lb.

snap peas. same as above, except they never seem to be on sale.

raspberries. go bad in 3 days and cost an arm and a leg. sometimes when they're in season you can get them for like $2 per half-pint as a treat.

blueberries and blackberries. even when they're in season, they're still $2 per pint.

grapes. they can sorta be affordable in the fall season for $2/lb, but otherwise they're double that. and usually you have to commit to buying several pounds. last 2 weeks in fridge.

plums. i love them so so much but they're only in season for like 2 weeks of the year it seems and they're like $3/lb.

inexpensive accoutrements: (for garnishes, seasoning, etc)

limes. 25cents apiece. they'll start to dry out after 1 week on the counter so keep them in the fridge unless you will use it soon.

lemons. usually 50cents each for the small varietals. keep same as above.

green onions. less than a dollar for a bunch, and you can easily regrow a few times at home if you stick the white rooted end in water by a window.

cilantro. 50cents. will last WAY longer (1-2 weeks) if you keep it in a mug of water in the fridge.

parsley. 85cents. same as above.

obviously sticking just with popularly available produce across the country. it's not an exhaustive list but can give you a bit more perspective on what produce you should be focusing on if you're trying to work with a tight grocery budget. good luck!

[allpiesforourown]

I wanna know more info of the Binggeyuan roomates au. If he knew SY since they were kids what led him to rapid dating. If not, how did they meet/fall in love. How long until Bingge realizes he’s gay? How long until Shen Yuan realizes? So many possibilities

Okay so first it was an admiration thing.. you know how when you're kids the first person in the friend group to start dating is considered the coolest one? Binghe desperately wants shen yuans approval so hes like "I have to get a girlfriend so Yuan ge will think I'm cool!!"

After that it kind of becomes about making shen yuan jealous. Binghe introduces shen yuan to super hot girls hoping shen yuan will pout and say he's jealous of someone taking binghe away from him :((( it never happens though, shen yuan is completely supportive of his relationships

It's kind of insufferable for binghe because whenever he sees shen yuan talking to someone else, he gets super angry and can't calm down until he drags shen yuan away from them. Him going through girlfriends is his way of saying "see i can find other people too" in a childish attempt to even out the playing field but it never happens, shen yuan just pats his head and says he hopes this time binghe finds the one

So eventually he realizes it's a lost cause and gives up on dating. By the time they move in together binghe realizes he's way in over his head. All of a sudden he's seeing his favourite person in the world 24/7. Shen Yuan adorably half awake in the morning eating binghes food. Shen yuan cuddling binghe on the couch while he yaps through a movie about all the references and lore. Shen yuan walking out their bath in just a towel.

Binghe has a few wet dreams about his friend (!???) and he's like okay I'm just horny. My brain is sexualizing my sweet darling yuan ge because he's the only person I see all day. I have to get a girlfriend. And then he's back to being a fuckboy because he's basically using his girlfriends as a distraction

I think shen yuan getting too close to another man would definitely be the catalyst for binghe finally realizing his feelings. When shen yuan gets close to a woman, binghe can just seduce her and steal her away. What's he supposed to do when yuan ge is suddenly spending so much time with a guy?? Binghe could try to fuck him but if he had to date a man he'd rather date shen yuan- he's not gonna think about that.

Binghe is NOT going to think about how dating shen yuan would solve all his problems. How he'd never have to worry about yuan ge finding a wife and moving out. He'd get to kiss and hold shen yuan and lay his claim in front of everyone. He'd get to be the person who takes care of him forever...

Binghe tries (and fails) to assure himself he's just being protective of his frail friend until some guy actually tries to make a move on shen yuan and binghe snaps and pounces

[skelliko]

๑-context: a summer activitie with them

๑-featuring: kazutora, chifuyu, Baji, Mikey, inui, shinichiro, Kokonoi, Rindou, ran, mitsuya,

°- kazutora hanemiya

• exploring abandoned places and going so far out into the city, climbing over fences just to get into the buildings and running from the police or other pedestrians that had caught you trespassing in someone else's property even though it's not like you both are doing anything harmful there. your just enjoying each others company whilst getting excitement in exploring new places that may be even a little dangerous but what's a little fun if you don't 'ball it'

°- chifuyu matsuno

• making hand made jewelry is a cute activity, you had to teach chifuyu how to tie the string right otherwise it'd come loose but after he got the jist of it y'all were making many sets of matching bracelets that you wear all the time in different colours and patterns. though sometimes it gets frustrating when it comes to tying the string and you can't seem to get the loop right or when your fingers accidentally let go of one side of the string and then all the beads fall downwards and both of you end up crawling on the floor trying to recollect every lose bead, but that doesn't happen often.

°- Baji Keisuke

• forest walks, not all the time but sometimes he'd suggest wandering around a forest, picking up weird shaped branches to show you, finding a bug on a leaf and if you don't like bugs then he'd be a nuisance about it and chase you around with the it. but if you have a heart with bugs then hed look around trying to find the coolest looking one specifically to show/give you and he'd dedicate to it even if he does occasionally get a little grossed out by them.

°- manjiro sano/ mikey

• constant motorbike rides! if you have your own motorbike then the both of you will be riding till you reach the end of earth and seeing which one can out do the other. but if you don't then you'd be latched on at the back of his bike and going with the flow of the wind to cool off from the heat. mikey would also try teaching you how to ride a motorbike, he's more patient with you than anyone else so you can take your time with taking in the information so that you know how to switch gears and dont attempt in going through a wall.

°- Inui seishu / shinichiro sano (I couldn't decide)

• due to him being in the bike shop and working on fixing some motorbikes here and there, there'd be trips to visit him holding a sweet, cold treat to give him on his lunch breaks. though when you're teasing him a little too much he'd purposely smear his oil grease stained fingers across your skin to leave a large, black mark and it'd cause a small fit of smiles and laughter but also some small annoyance on your side as you have to scrub the mark off from you by the sink.

°- Kokonoi hajime

• perfect time and weather to go visit new towns and enjoy the beautiful scenery that neither of you thought you could see until now. browsing into small business shops that you haven't seen/been into before and if something catches your eyes that you'd die for to have then Koko would buy it for you in a heartbeat because seeing you smile with light in your eyes at an item makes him want to keep you in that gleaming mood.

°- rindou haitani

• spontaneous night outs where you start the night to be all cozy watching a series with a tub of ice cream to then be all dressed up and sparkly after one text or phone call from rindou mentioning a club is doing a certain theme. the both of you may seem to be there for the party but actually it's the attention you both bring, getting all dressed up is the fun part and most of the time you do it together and have matching outfits or accessories, give everyone around a sight to see and only then do you give your all with the drinks and dancing.

°- ran haitani

• constant need to be in the pool or anywhere that has water, especially on hot boiling days when a 5 minute walk would feel like 5 hours. in the day you'd usually go to an outside pool and enjoy yourselves and then at night you'd have to pamper him since he's still affected from the heat, he has no tolerance. you tend to go to public ones but only those that you know are clean and have decency of others, essentially public pools that kids don't go to.

°- mitsuya takashi

• summer is the perfect time for him to work on summer clothes and you always happen to be his muse meaning you're the one who he always dots down your measurements and your always the one that tries the clothes on and half the time you tend to keep the clothing. if you wear dresses then sun dresses are always something that he enjoys sowing for you, you spinning around as the dress flows and spins with you, he doesn't make those basic ones but rather he puts in a lot of detail just for you, making it adorable and flattering. but if you don't wear dresses or such clothing then he always considers what kind of material he uses, that way for the hot days your not melting and instead you feel more free and feel a breeze.

 ♡----

[oceantornadoo]

hii! can you do what it would be like asking price to put pads on the shopping list?? and then when price goes shopping he has to call you to ask for what size ?? 😭😭 btw i love love your work, hope u had a good day💞.

im pretty sure you're referring to this post but i decided to make this price x reader so :) enjoy!

bsf marriage pact!price x reader, he's slightly creepy but he's sweet (this is actually a bit dubcon but its in good spirit)

you had had a shit day. actually, make that a shit week. emotional the whole time, feeling lonely, depressed, and with the weirdest cravings. right when you were about to call your best friend and rant about how terrible you felt, you had went to the bathroom and- oh.

that explains a lot.

and now here you were, sitting on the toilet for the past ten minutes, contemplating. you were completely out of all period products and your flow was so heavy there was no way you were making it to the store free bleeding or with toilet paper as a makeshift pad. of course, that's when john decided to call you (let's be real, who doesn't take their phone to the bathroom. don't judge.)

"evenin', duckie."

"ugh john, i told you not to call me that. its so annoying."

john grunted a chuckle into the phone, swiping a hand over his beard. "you love it." silence. he could practically hear your eye roll. "dinner tonight?" he was pacing his apartment, uncharacteristic for a man like him. calm, cool, collected. never when it came to you.

"can't, sorry. maybe in a few days." he grunted. "could order a takeaway?" you sighed in his ear, the sound a melody he craved to hear over and over again. on lazy saturdays and in-between small fights over laundry. baby steps, though.

"its just not in the cards tonight, john, i'm sorry." you were never like this, withholding information. even when you cancelled on him, it was with a long-winded explanation with the names of about seven people he didn't know and plans you didn't want to go to. "'s wrong, duck? got a hot date or somethin'?" he mentally crossed his fingers, not allowing a physical expression. he wasn't that whipped. not yet.

"no, im just sick. and tired." his muscles relaxed. he started putting on his boots and grabbed a fleece, something gaz insisted was not too tryhard for someone like him. "i'll run to the store and grab ya medicine, hm? what'dya need?" you sighed again, rubbing your fingers to your forehead. he obviously was not giving this up and you did really need pads...

"ill text you a list when you get there. thanks john."

"anythin' for you, duckie."

list: pads, advil, that one chocolate candy you know i like, something for dinner

shit. price had been with a woman or two, but had never had to buy her pads. of course, he'd never let it get to that stage, not when he had you to take care of. but now here he was, staring at playtex and always and what the fuck was a diva cup? he'd better call you.

"all ok, john?"

"ya didn't give me a color on your pads, duck." you giggled. of course he paid attention to the green versus orange pads.

"its pretty heavy so some of the overnight and extra daytime ones would work." silence.

"...there's numbers." your cheeks warmed. you couldn't believe you were talking about this with john of all people.

"god, john. this feels so embarrassing. so weird to talk about with you."

"why? gotta know this for the rest of my life, duckie." shit. he was referring to that night a couple weeks ago, when you confessed to him you thought you'd never find love. when he said he'd marry you in a heartbeat, just say the word. when you compromised by telling him if you were still single in two years, you'd go to the courthouse then and there. when you didn't see him turn and write the date in phone, just as a reminder.

"5, john. there should be a moon symbol or something. and then 3. should be green, i think?" he grunted an affirmation, putting the respective pads in his cart. he turned around, having said goodbye and ended the call, and was subsequently greeted by three women, staring. paused in their product selection, staring openmouthed at how nonchalant he was about buying pads.

30 minutes later he was at your place, groceries and takeaway in hand as he used his spare key to let himself in. "duck?" all quiet. he stalked through your place and noticed the light on in the bathroom. one, two, three quick knocks. "john?" "'s me. can i come in?" "no i- need you to get me something." he waited patiently. "can you go to my dresser and grab a pair of underwear. something ugly, lots of coverage." who was he to say no to a free invite to your underwear drawer?

john dropped the pads outside your bathroom door and headed to your bedroom. finding your dresser, he had to give himself a second. calm down, old man. they're all clean.

that didn't stop him from sniffing a few, reveling at the scent of your laundry detergent. he almost groaned at the scent, imagining you in them. even in the "unsexy" pairs, your curves clothed in cotton and elastic, wrapped up in a lovely package. all his.

john selected a pair with "lots of coverage", whatever that meant, and headed to your bathroom. he opened the door with ease, setting your pads down on the counter. you shrieked.

"john! im half naked, you need to knock." obviously, the sight of your bare thighs and the top of your mound peaking out was most welcome, but he was more concerned about getting you off the toilet and putting food in your belly. "jus' me, duckie. come on, show me how to do it." he gestured at the pads. he couldn't be serious.

you slowly unboxed them, taking care to cover your naked body as much as possible. even while moving slowly, your shirt still shifted and he caught glimpses of your pretty pussy. an image for another day, when you weren't in pain. he focused on your fingers, deftly putting the pad on your underwear with years of practice. he memorized how you placed the pad, ensuring it stuck to your underwear before tearing the paper off the wings and tucking them on the other side. you looked up at him and he nodded, mission complete. "thank you, by the way." he kissed your forehead, so quick you could have missed it in a blink.

"turn around, i have to put it on." he sat back on his haunches, staring. "go'on. 've gotta learn somehow." you were too tired to care, ready to devour your dinner. you missed his hungry gaze as you revealed your cunt to him, wanting even though it was covered in blood. you missed his fingers twitching as you slowly pulled on your underwear, fabric caressing your skin like he yearned to. you got up, flushed, and washed your hands, missing how he tucked his fingers in belt loops and leaned back into the wall, a move he'd done many times in his tac vest.

"thank you, john. truly." he gave you a grin under the muttonchops, all satisfied. task finished, mission accomplished. you had asked him to do this, a husbandly duty. after you dried your hands, you made a move for the door, but he stopped you with a hand to the jaw. he brushed his beard against you, feeling the shiver in your bones. his mouth hovered near your ear, accent coming out low and sultry. "anythin' for my future wife, duckie."

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ngl this got a bit weird but i like it??? had to struggle to not lean into my simon riley weirdness tendencies as im still learning john as a character.