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#you're gonna make me combust
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You're super talented and so inventive with your whump!
thank you!! 😄❤️❤️
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eldritchships · 2 years
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How it feels reading back my own lines of dialogue, that I wrote myself, in this Gary story
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thexsilentxwordsmith · 6 months
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hello! I dont know if your taking requests, feel free to ignore this if you dont. Pussydrunk!simon x cockdrunk!fem reader
READ IT HERE
Okay so yes, we are doing this. Like how the hell could I not?
Can you imagine that big hulking Simon out of his gd mind at the feeling of you wrapped around him, body basically vibrating with pleasure from the overstimulation? He's practically drooling, mind absolutely numb as every single fiber of his being is focused on the feeling of your tight little pussy and how fucking good it feels to be buried in it. There's no way he isn't mesmerized by how good it looks at the point where it disappears inside you; he's gonna be pulling back every chance he can get just to watch it slip in and out.
And of course you are no better. You're at the point that he barely has to thrust and you are falling apart at the seems with an ache so fierce you feel like you are about to combust. Every single nerve ending in and around your cunt is screaming with sensitivity as that fucking massive cock of his is being shoved as far back as he can shove it, making your eyes roll back and you mouth hang open.
I can see this being a long fucking session, probably after a him returning from a mission that was quite a few months. We are talking a couple hours, multiple positions, never pulling out of you longer than it takes to move you around or flip you over. He keeps slowing the pace down before you two can come, edging and edging and edging so that neither of you can fucking see straight.
You want to come, but fuck does it feel good to just be full of him, grinding hips together. Sheets are gonna be ruined, thighs covered in juices, bodies speckled with sweat. And if you think he's gonna be finished once you come, you are dead wrong. You are going to be RUINED.
Give me a little bit cause I am going to make this a full thing. I NEED it to be a full oneshot cause I'm already breathing heavy just from my description of it.
Get ready...
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quimichi · 3 months
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NSFW - MDI
He's obsessed with your voice. He loves the way you whimper and just struggle your words out. He loves to to tease, he LIVES to tease you. He's so mean whe he asks what you want, just so he can deny it and command you to beg for it.
He's buried deep inside of you, barely able to hold himself up, panting heavily. He looks down at the pretty face you're making and he can't help but think that the only thing that would make it better is the sound of your beautiful voice.
"Tell me what you want, baby" he breathes in your ear, dropping his head down to your neck. He stopped moving. His hot breath hitting your heated skin. "I asked you somethin'~" he hums leaning back down to press kiss over your shoulder. You can practically feel his smirk in his voice.
"Please-" is all you're able to stutter out at first and it makes him grin onto your skin as he lifts his head to shake it at you. "Naw, I couldn't quite hear you princess,.. you should use bigger words for your needs?" there's this pout on his face, he's mocking you. Out of desperation you kiss him, in hopes that he could possibly forget about your loss of words.
He indulges you for a few seconds before pulling away and raising his eyebrow at you. That's when you realise he's serious; he really won't move an inch until you tell him exactly what you want. "Please-, just.. fuck me" you whine, you know it won't be enough for him but you hope it is because if he doesn't move in the next thirty seconds you feel you might combust. You honestly don't know what will combust, but something is definitely blowing up and its also gonna be you.
"Good start, baby, but it's not enough" he chuckles at your responding whine and buries his head into you neck chuckling. Although this is more than entertaining, he also has to hide the fact this is just as agonizing for him like it is for you. "How do you want it, hm? Tell me how you want me to fuck you." "Please, just fuck me. Fuck me hard. Fuck me dumb. Fuck me so hard you break me, the bed or the wall. I don't care just please fuck me" you desperately shout out in embarrassment.
He lets out an elated laugh, this is exactly what he wants to hear. He leans in to kiss you and ends up muffling the happy whine you let out when he finally starts moving. But quickly you feel dizzy, you're beyond coherent words at this point. You can't even think straight. He feels so good inside you that you almost go crazy. You instinctively grab at his skin, raking your nails over his shoulder blades. He loves being able to get you like this, he loves listen to you break like this. You and the pretty noises you make are all his to enjoy....
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Kageyama, Tsukishima, Matsukawa, Kuroo, Atsumu, Suna, Tendou, Terushima (haikyuu)
Kaeya, Al-Haitham, Ayato, Itto, Scaramouche, Wriothesley, Dottore, Pantalone (genshin)
Geto, Nanami, Gojo, Toji (JJK)
Hisoka, Chrollo, Feitan, Phinks (HxH)
Rafayel (love and deepspace)
Leona, Lilia, Jade, Floyd, Ace, Trey (twst wonderland)
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wonryllis · 5 months
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ʬʬ. ! POKER FACE ﹙ SHE'S GOT ME LIKE NOBODY ﹚
𝒏o𝓉ℯs. park sunghoon with fem!reader 𖥔 ݁ enemies but secretly in love and oblivious, fluff. LIB? word count `2375
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prompt. wiping a bit of frosting (or smth else) off of their cheek while eating and taking it for themself from list 02. part of this event by @okwonyo
JAY VER. JAKE VER. SUNGHOON VER: one-sided
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"you look like a chipmunk," and i wanna kiss you so bad right now. sunghoon really wishes he could do that, grab your jaw, fingers digging into your soft puffed cheeks, and pull you against him as he smashes his lips into yours.
he's been dreaming of it for as long as he can remember. for as long as he knew he shouldn't be dreaming of that. for as long as he knew you have hated him and for as long as he has been supposed to be hating you too.
look sunghoon doesn't really have a solid reason to hate you besides the fact that you crush on his best friend (especially when he's been here all along?) but if getting to talk to you and sticking close by comes at the cost of pretending to do, then he doesn't really mind it. though it doesn't do much because everyone, from friends to professors, everyone can see how he's been waiting on the opportunity to jump you.
and you? you are the most oblivious thing there can ever be. sunghoon could be right up in your face, whispering sweet nothings and everything in between and you'd refuse to believe he feels anything but hatred for you. if not that then annoyance? because you for sure are always annoyed at him and his flirty antics.
"shut-" he's suddenly reaching forward and across the table, hands cupping your cheek, oh god he's melting you're so soft, thumb swiping against your skin to wipe off the salad dressing. he puts it into his mouth next, sucking off the sweet sauce with an irritating smirk on his face,"so cute," a look of lure in his hooded eyes staring at you,"eat slowly baby no one's gonna take your foo-,"
"m nat yiur baby!" you interrupt immediately, speaking through the stuffed salad in your cheeks, eyes shifting back and forth to heeseung sitting beside him. praying he wouldn't misunderstand even though your insanely fast beating heart clearly knows who it's beating for.
"come on babies don't speak with full mouth, no matter how cute you look," i'm gonna die if you don't stop right now sunghoon feels like he'll combust any moment, blow his cover and mess everything up. he doesn't give a shit that your crush aka his friend, is sitting right next to him, if anything he's doing it in front of him on purpose even though he knows the boy has got no feelings for you. he has just got something for the way your face scrunches adorably when you get annoyed, and how your oh so kissable lips turn into an angry pout that does nothing to show your anger but tempt him even more.
"ou knww wat m levnig," grabbing your plate with you, you give heeseung a tight lipped cheery little smile and two short kicks under the table to sunghoon before leaving the area.
fuck park sunghoon and fuck his hotness and fuck how he gets to you every single time. your heartbeat keeps on getting higher and skipping beats with each step you take, repeatedly hearing his words in your head again and again. even more so when you hear the sound of his footsteps behind you, those very familiar clicking of his chelsea dress shoes that suit him devilishly well.
"enjoy," sunghoon leaves the table after you, patting his friend's back in a quick apology and rushing away.
"yo chipmunk cheeks! wait up for me!"
"get away!"
just fucking kiss already. lee heeseung has had it enough already. he can't stand third wheeling anymore, it's making him sick. he needs to get you two into seven minutes in heaven or something. just anything to end whatever this is you have going on with him stuck in between.
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"whatcha doin baby chicks?" sunghoon's annoying ass voice has you looking up from your book, eyes following him as he drags out the chair beside yours and plops himself down smugly. he's alone. he's alone alone.
"where's heeseung?" you ask, remembering how he promised he'd bring along the boy for a study date. the sole reason you agreed to meet him in the library.
"somewhere between those shelves," sunghoon fingers point towards the rows behind your table,"probably getting you know what," he suggests, resting his head on his hands, staring at you trying to find your guy. "liar, he's not like you," you retort and it has sunghoon grinning from ear to ear,"hm, what do you think i am like?" there's a hint of amusement and a tone of teasing in his voice, it makes it hard for you to conceal your nervousness. so many times of it happening yet you still can't control the fluttering butterflies and sparks in your stomach. are you sure you're crushing on the right person? well heeseung is nice he helps you with notes from missed classes and most importantly doesn't taunt you for being second.
"a predator," nevertheless trying to outwardly stand your ground is something you have learned to do when it comes to him. do not show how weak he gets you. do not let him have the upper hand. that's been your motto since day one.
you almost feel your heart jumping out of your chest when he bends to grab the seat of your chair and pulls you closer, leaning so close to your face, you feel his breath hit your lips with every exhale,"so you must be my pretty little prey?" if you move just an inch forward you'd end up smearing your cherry gloss on his chapped lips, feeling hyper aware of every little movement from the touch of his fingers near the hem of your skirt to the little shifting you do in your seat. fidgeting and constant staring at each other's lips. the faint hovering of his palm on your thighs, the other lingering over hand resting on the table, like a cage in between,"you're gettin-"
"guys i finally found it!" you're snapped out of it when heeseung slams a pile of books on the table, hands flapping up to slap against sunghoon's chest and push him away with all the might you got.
it takes you a few minutes to settle yourself down into calm, ignoring the way sunghoon complains about being harshly shoved for apparently no reason. and smiling at heeseung as he explains how he'd been trying to look for some books on zoology which somehow happened to always be borrowed out, that is until today. you take a second look at the books he shows, hitting an embarassing realization, eyes switching between the two guys.
"wait- you were looking for these books over there?" pointing to the same rows sunghoon did initially.
"what else were you thinking in that tiny head of yours, chipmunk?" sunghoon wiggles his brows suggestively knowing exactly what you were thinking of, enjoying the way you come to the horrific realization of how you both were just flirting, more specifically of what you implied and what you didn't deny.
"nothing, shut up and do your own work!" a poor attempt at brushing it off but he'll let it go since you aren't really alone right now. a lovesick grin, eyes trained on you the entire time. only heeseung notices and once again wonders of when you'll knock it off.
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"miss second place at a frat party? that's new," if there's hell, yours is definitely tied to sunghoon, your personal lucifer on guard. amidst a roaring crowd of people he still manages to find you and get on your nervous in a matter of seconds. time and again he's proven to be the bane of your existence.
"shouldn't that go for you, mr first place? don't you want to keep it?" against the counter on the far end of the kitchen, he has you trapped.
"keeping you? i think i already have it," his lips grazing over your ear as he whispers in a low voice, pulling away immediately to leave you wanting for more. "no i-" you shutter for the first time in front of him, shit.
"i meant the last assignment, i scored more than you," you sound much softer and tinier than you would have ever liked to, but your brain's in such a mess you can't think straight.
"you're so studious it's cute but chipmunk i couldn't give a shit about being second place to you, you can take my place any time you like," he gets so much closer again you start panicking, if you don't get out of here right now, losing all your pride and prudence to him wouldn't be impossible anymore.
pushing him away slightly you hope he'd give way to you,"i'm gonna go find heeseung," adding all the more reason to it. "let me help you with that," but he's adamant on not leaving you alone today. six months of watching you have a crush on his best friend and he's had enough.
dragging you out to the living room, he brings you to the couch on the other end of where heeseung stands surrounded by his group of friends. and sitting down on it, is immediately pulling you onto his lap, hands going around the waist to hold you close,"let's make him jealous," his lips brush against yours, getting a sweet taste of your lipgloss. just like how he's always imagined.
"kiss me,"
and heeseung sighs from across the room. fucking finally.
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taglist. ( open ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @nanabbg @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly
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lyneira · 1 year
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♡ when you try to flirt with them ♡
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-> how the genshin men would react when you attempt to flirt with them
suggestive!
lyneira's 1.2k milestone event
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MEGA SIMP
Thoma, Kaveh, Gorou, Itto, Venti
You'll have them sweating bullets, at the edge of their seat, heart racing, and blushing furiously as they endure your flirting and teasing. Despite that, they are absolutely LIVING for your flirting. They're not gonna admit it aloud (not yet at least) but they want ALL of the affection, love, and teasing you're giving them.
In this state, you can ask him for anything and he'd obey. Heck, ask for the world and he'll give it to you because this guy is ENRAPTURED by you. Bro is just so excited and eager about the way you're treating him
Like lowkey, if you were to tell him the numerous things you'd do to tease him, get close to him, and ask, "Would you like all that, hm?~", he's going to take a sharp inhale and breathe out a soft, "yes please" before he combusts right then and there
Embarrassed
Xiao, Scaramouche, Diluc
Will probably hit you with a tsundere-ish, "What are you talking about baka...?!" in response to any smooth line you tell them, or a "Quit with that foolishness" when you try to flirtatiously put your hand on theirs.
Yes, he's going to tell you to stop, but it won't be very convincing with the shakiness in his voice and the vibrant blush that he's desperately trying to hide on his face. He's just feeling a mix of emotions right now, y’know? You're getting them all hot and bothered but they wouldn't dare admit that they're succumbing to your tactics.
They're playing hard to get because truly, you've easily got a hold of their heart and in actuality, it was him who wanted to be the one to catch yours first.
Cuts to the chase
Alhaitham, Dainsleif, Cyno
Like the previous dudes, they're also gonna ask you what you were doing, but would be serious about it instead. These guys don't like beating around the bush and your flirting is going nowhere, so he's going to interrupt you and make you cut to the chase. He'll do so by kabedon-ing you, slamming one hand against the wall which makes you yelp in surprise.
"If you want something, why not ask me directly?", he leans down, towering over your frame and lifts your chin gently with a finger, "I won't bite...unless you want me to"
Amused
Ayato, Baizhu, Kaeya, Childe, Heizou
As you flirt with them, they'll simply have a smile on their face, both pleased and amused that you have the guts to do so. Trying to seduce the flirt, eh? They find it all terribly cute. Yet, they won't say or initiate much up until they've seen you slowly lose your drive to continue flirting (due to their lack of response to your attempts)
"Is that all you've got, y/n? Don't get me wrong, all of this pleases me, but...", he places his hands on your hips and brings them closer to his own as he leans in close to your ear and huskily whispers, "...let me show you how it's really done" ;)
Would be a sweetheart
Zhongli, Kazuha, Tighnari, Albedo
Will look at you with such tenderness in his gaze, happy about your sentiments toward him. They'd also blush lightly at certain antics that you'd pull, but they overall have a better tolerance to your flirting in comparison to the mega simps and those who get embarrassed. They're too wrapped up in the thought that you admired him and held these feelings for them to get so flustered.
When you compliment him seductively, he'll chuckle softly and smile, "I'm fortunate that you think of me that way", he'll then caress your cheek with the knuckle of his index finger slowly and lightly before bringing it up to your lips and replacing it with the pad of his thumb, "I feel the same for you", he'd finish saying while rubbing small circles on your lower lip. Y'all should kiss already
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© 2023 lyneira. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, PLAGIARIZE, OR REPOST MY WRITING ONTO OTHER PLATFORMS
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whateveriwant · 3 months
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Choice
Summary: Simon forces you to choose. Him, your husband… or the other man he found in your bed.
Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader
Word Count: ~2.6k
Warnings: ANGST
A/N: Forgive me.
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“Simon!” you gasp, bolting upright in bed.
There, darkening the doorway to your bedroom, stands your beloved husband. You thought you'd spotted something lurking in the shadows of your periphery, but rather than it being a mere figment of your imagination like you'd hoped, you've come to find out that's not at all the case.
Simon’s brows are knitted tightly together, the lines framing the sides of mouth deepening as he begins to scowl. “Fuckin’ knew it,” he grits out. “Knew you were a fuckin’ liar.” His eyes flit back and forth between you and the figure lying beside you in bed, and if looks could kill, you'd both be six feet under.
“Simon, no, wait–!” You're quick to shoo the other male from your bed even as your husband storms away. Jumping to your feet, you chase after him, tugging your shirt into place from where it had ridden up. Simon’s just reached the living room when you manage to catch up with him. “Simon, please just–”
“When will enough be enough?” he cuts you short as he whirls around to confront you. You've never seen such anger rippling from him before, and it makes you recoil, stopping dead in your tracks. “When's it gonna end, huh? You promised me you were gonna fuckin’ stop this.”
“I-I-I know I did, Simon,” your voice trembles under the weight of your shame.
He's right. After the last time, you’d told him that was it, that it would never happen again.
So much for keeping your promise.
“I'm– I'm so sorry,” you try to offer him, for whatever it may be worth.
Apparently, it's worth very little as he proceeds to scoff right in your face.
“You’re ‘sorry’?” His expression pinches to show how he takes offense to that apology. “That’s three times this month I've caught you. Three. Let alone how many other times I'm sure have been behind my back.”
Again, he’s right on the target. You’ve been dishonest with your husband, been deceiving him more times than you can even remember at this point. Though you're in no place to feel as if you're the one that's been hurt in this situation, you can't help how his biting words feel like daggers plunging right into your stomach.
Simon sighs and brings a hand up to rub his forehead, the self-soothing gesture doing nothing to soften the lines creasing his skin. After a while, he asks, “Why?” his voice much calmer than it was a moment ago. “Why d’you keep doin’ this? Lyin’? Sneakin’ around?”
When he drops his hand to look at you again, you can see how quickly his emotions have shifted from fury to sorrow. The sight of his grief almost wrenches your heart in two, and you swallow the lump in your throat, your own emotions threatening to spill forth and choke you.
“I… I don't know,” you tell him, yet another lie.
You know the truth behind your actions, the real reason you can't break this bad habit. It's because you're selfish; because you're spineless; because you're fucking weak.
Your answer, the unconvincing slop that is, isn't good enough for Simon, and his shoulders rise in a show of perplexity. “Am I not treatin’ you right? I've been withholdin’ from you? Is that it?”
You're shaking your head before he even finishes the inquiry. “No, Simon. It's nothing like that,” you say.
“Well then, explain it to me.” He tosses a hand into the air, the frustration in his tone palpable. “Because I'm tryin’ to understand what makes him so bloody special. What is it about him that makes you treat me like a fuckin’ afterthought?”
“I don't–!” you begin, the accusation immediately putting you on the defense. But then you pause and intake a deep breath, trying to rein yourself back in. The last thing you want is to strike a match against this highly combustible conversation. If ignited, this powder keg runs the risk of taking you both out with it.
You take another moment to collect yourself before releasing an audible exhale. “Yes, he means a lot to me–”
“Oh, well, I'm bloody well aware of that, thank you.”
You ignore the derisive comment as you continue, “–but you're my husband, Simon. At the end of the day, I always want you,” you emphasize. You can feel a stitch forming between your brows as they slowly pull together. “I know you're upset with me – and I understand, truly – but I… I-I just…” your voice trails off as you consider your next words.
You know what you want to say, what niggling thought you want to express. But you're not sure if voicing it aloud is the right move to take. You're trying to cool down the tension here, not potentially add fuel to the fire.
But as Simon prompts, “What?” you realize there's no backing out of it now.
You sigh. “I just think you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion.”
The way your husband's eyes immediately widen tell you it was probably better to have kept your mouth shut.
“Blowin’ thi–?!” Simon blinks wildly in disbelief, his anger from earlier surging back tenfold. His voice is venomous as he spits, “I catch you lyin’ to me, catch you continuously goin’ behind my back.” He points an accusatory finger in the direction of your bedroom. “I catch you with that filthy shite in our bed–”
“Hey, don't call–”
“–see him lyin’ there, sleepin’ on my fuckin’ pillow, and you think I'm ‘blowin’ this out of proportion’?!” he's fully shouting now, his volume having risen alongside his fury. Simon lets out a dry chuckle that's entirely devoid of humor. “Do you even hear yourself? Do my feelings mean nothin’ to you anymore? Do you– Do you even really love me?” his voice peaks as a wave of despair washes over him.
“Wha–?” Now it's your turn to blink wildly as you're caught off guard by that last sentence. “Of– Of course I do, Simon! Of course.” How can he even ask you such a thing?
“You just love him more, then, right?” The question stings like a punch to the gut.
You shake your head vehemently, asserting, “No. No, of course not!” even as you feel a twinge of guilt pricking the base of your skull.
Just as you're slightly skeptical of your own words, so too is Simon, and he brushes you off with a, “Pssh, right.”
The heightened emotions of the last several minutes persist even as you and your husband lapse into a tense silence.
As you stand there, you watch as Simon begins to harshly run both hands through his hair, not sure what you should say – if there's anything to say in this moment. Though you and he have had this same argument more times than you'd like to admit, something about this time felt different to you, felt like there were higher stakes in the mix. And as you reflect on the quarrel, you can't help how one line in particular sticks out in your mind. ‘You just love him more, then, right?’ he'd accused, bluntly, bitterly.
The idea is ridiculous to you, loving someone else more than your own husband. It sounds like something only a fool could believe.
But if that's the case, why did Simon say it so assuredly?
And why does the thought of it make your stomach clench like there could be some truth behind the claim?
After another few moments of him tugging at his roots, Simon releases a billowy breath. He briefly closes his eyes and shakes his head to himself, before dropping his hands back down by his sides.
“I don't know how much longer I can keep this up,” his voice sounds as exhausted as his body looks. As he peels his lids open to once more lock with your gaze, you feel your own eyes narrowing in your confusion.
“What do you mean?” you ask, voice quiet, timid.
“I mean you need to choose,” he tells you. “Me or him.”
That statement has you balking, the cords that hinge your jaw shut practically snapping. “Si, you– you're not serious.” This has to be some kind of sick joke, right?
“I am.” He nods resolutely. “I can't keep doin’ this – goin’ back and forth with you, wonderin’ if you're really all here with me or not,” he says, frowning. “So you need to choose. Right now. Me… or him.”
It's like you've just witnessed your worst fears materialize before you. Simon, your loving husband, has just asked you to do something that was once completely inconceivable to you. He's asked you to make a world-altering choice: pick between him and someone else.
The decision should be easy – should be obvious – and yet, you find yourself frozen, unable to speak the words you know you should say.
Simon is your husband, the first and greatest love of your life. But this other man he's making you choose between is… well, he's something else to you entirely.
When you're having a rough day and feel like the world is collapsing in around you, he's the first one you want to run to when you need a shoulder to cry on. And conversely, when you're feeling on top of the world, feeling so high up you could reach out and touch the clouds, he's the one you want to call so you can share your joy.
From the moment you met him, you knew he was one of a kind. He's got a smile that could rival a thousand suns, a kiss that could warm the coldest of nights, and the way he looks at you – like you hold the entirety of his universe in the palm of your hand – you think it could keep your heart beating long after it's chosen to stop.
He's your best friend, your other half of a whole, your personal ray of sunshine that cuts through all the gloomy rain. Simon is your husband, yes, that’s true. But this other man is your soulmate, and you know that however long you both shall live, you will love each other until you take your final breaths.
Tears start to bead in your eyes as the answer to your predicament reveals itself to you. And as Simon eventually pushes, “Well? Who's it gonna be?” you know there's only one thing you can tell him.
“Him,” you mutter, feeling the first tear spill over. “H-Him, Simon. Him. I choose… him.”
It's like the planet ceases to spin for a moment as your choice floats in the air like a ghost. At first, you think Simon must assume you're bluffing, what with the way he has no immediate reaction to your response. But as the silence stretches between you and you've yet to renounce your decision, you watch as the realization hits him like a slug to the chest.
Simon's face falls, the color zapping from his skin, and as his eyes start to shine with tears, you find your cheeks flooding with your own.
Simon blinks rapidly, his nostrils flaring as he tries to keep his emotions at bay. His brow furrows like he wants to say something – to argue something – but when he opens his mouth to speak, no words escape. He closes his mouth for a second but then opens it again soon after, once more nothing leaving him but the sound of his breath.
Open then shut, open then shut, he repeats the cycle over and over again, never once managing to get a word out. Finally, after several minutes of waging an internal battle with himself, Simon eventually lets out a low sigh of defeat.
“Then go,” he mutters, gaze falling to the floor. “Just… Just go.”
Your own heart shatters at seeing the pain you've caused your husband. But you can't take back what you've said now, and even if you could, you both know it'd be a lie.
Thus, all you can offer him is a whispered, “I'm sorry.” Any louder and your voice would break from the strain of your cries.
The room falls quiet again as you both let everything sink in. Simon, your husband, the man you'd promised forever to, just put his heart on the line, practically flayed himself open for you… and you didn't choose him.
“I'm sorry,” you say again because you don't know what else there is to do.
Simon waves your apology off with a dismissive hand, still refusing to meet your eye.
Over the next few moments, you continue to sob softly, the sounds of your sniffles puncturing the otherwise quiet house. After a while, you feel the faucet behind your eyes gradually slow to a trickle, and you wipe your face with the back of your shaky hands, swallowing down the last of your tears.
You take another minute or so to compose yourself, still standing before your forlorn husband. Once you feel somewhat well again, you clear your throat, then tip your head back to let out a short, high whistle.
Almost immediately, you hear the telltale noise of feet moving against the hardwood floor. Then, not a beat later, you see the man you'd just chosen rounding the corner to the living room.
“Come here, pup-pup. Come here,” you encourage Riley, your fourteen month old shepherd-mix, forward.
Like the good boy he is, Riley trots closer at your beckoning. But before he reaches you, he makes a pitstop by Simon, shoving his cold, wet nose into the man's empty palm.
Riley gives him a couple boops to the hand, politely asking him for pets. And Simon, for his part, despite still being obviously disgruntled, obliges and gives him a brief, dispassionate rub to the snout.
Having received his desired scritches, Riley then continues over to you, and you crouch down so you can meet him at his level.
“You wanna go cuddle with me some more? Yeah? Do you?” you pitch your voice up in that babyish way Simon pretends to hate.
Riley, however, absolutely loves it, and his tail wags back and forth in a way that says he's all too eager to agree.
“Okay, let's go!” You wave him after you as you take off down the hall.
As you both walk back to the bedroom you'd been occupying earlier, you hear Simon speaking behind you, muttering angrily to himself.
“Mangy fuckin’ mutt. Knew he was gonna be trouble,” he murmurs as he makes up a spot for himself on the couch. “First he steals my bed, then he steals my cuddles, next he'll be stealin’ my fuckin’ car…” his voice peters out the further away you walk.
“Don't mind your daddy. He's just being grumpy as usual,” you stage whisper to Riley as you approach the door to your bedroom.
Letting yourself inside, Riley quickly follows after. You shut the door and then waltz over to the bed, patting the empty space beside you as you settle in.
Swiftly, Riley jumps up to join you, taking the side normally reserved for your husband. He moseys all the way up the mattress until he reaches Simon's pillow, where he proceeds to lay down.
You roll onto your side and start to pet him, scratching that spot behind his ears you know he loves. As you do, you see that infectious smile of his slowly take shape, his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth as his eyes drift closed.
The sight of him so content makes your own lips upturn into a smile. He is so sweet, so perfectly innocent, that it makes your heart want to burst inside your chest.
And as you continue to cuddle Riley, making little kissy noises in his ear, you know you made the right choice as you grin and ask him, “Who's my favorite boy?”
__________
A/N: April Fools! Hope I didn't break your heart too much lmao!
As always, I'd love to know what you thought! Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!
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traveler-at-heart · 2 days
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Hot To Go
Summary: You're horny and Natasha's teasing you. That's pretty much it!
Also, I've been telling you all to listen to Chappell Roan since last year so if you haven't, DO IT NOW.
Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader
Hopeless.
That’s how you feel as you walk back to the Compound, hot and bothered. The plan is to go straight to your room, but Wanda’s in the living room reading her book.
“Did you have fu…?” she says as soon as you walk in.
“Nope” you don’t let her finish, plopping next to her on the couch.
“What…”
“Garden gnomes”
“You’re gonna have to be more specific”
“We were having dinner, she invited me over for coffee. And when I went inside her apartment, I was met with at least fifty figures of garden gnomes”
“Like… decoration?”
“Like pets, according to her” you rub your eyes, trying to erase the image from your mind. “I was willing to maybe ignore it… until I went to her room and there were a dozen more”
“So? Just turn off the light” Wanda says, with a neutral expression. As if she’s not hearing the weirdest fucking thing on the planet right now.
“No, she said we should leave it on because they’re scared of the dark”
That finally breaks her and she lets out a loud laugh.
“Not funny” you throw a cushion towards her and she catches it.
It’s been four months since you’ve gotten laid. Not like you can’t handle a dry spell, but for some reason -perhaps the stress of work and missions- you’ve been particularly… needy. But everytime you go on a date, it ends in disaster.
“I should join a convent” you groan, your head resting on the back of the couch as you look at the ceiling.
“Nice, surrounded by other women. Maybe then you’ll get lucky”
“Not funny” you repeat, defeated.
“What about…?”
“Don’t” you stop her before she can even begin. You don’t need to look at Wanda to know what she’s about to say.
“I’m just saying…”
“Not another…”
“Natasha”
“…word. Damn it, Wanda. That has never been an option”
“You’re being stupid” she says and you roll your eyes, getting up from the couch.
“Gotta go and take matters into my own hands”
“Gross”
Wanda makes a face and you laugh, the both of you too distracted to notice someone else on the doorway, listening intently to the conversation.
Movie night is the perfect distraction, or so you think.
Since you’re all fidgety and restless, you opt for the couch in the back of the room, holding a bucket of popcorn against your chest.
The boys have settled on Atomic Blonde, with Bucky commenting the inaccuracies of the film portraying the Cold War.
His banter with Sam is enough to distract you for a little while, but then you turn back to the screen and sink in your seat.
There are two women making out, a hand going down the other one’s panties…
“Enjoying the movie?” a sultry voice whispers against your ear.
“N-Nat” you hold the bucket closer against your chest, trying to even your breathing. Where did she come from? You were sure she was skipping movie night today.
“That’s my name” she says, somehow even closer to you. Your eyes are fixed on the screen, but every other sense is registering the redhead’s presence. Her smell, the way her lips are almost touching your ear…
There’s moaning, and panting and the women on screen are kissing.
You’re about to combust, there’s no doubt in your mind.
“Use your words, pretty girl” Natasha whispers and you whimper.
“It’s a good… great movie” you manage to say, gulping.
Natasha’s hand moves forward and you’re hipnotized by those slender fingers, grabbing some popcorn out of the bucket and placing it slowly in her mouth.
“Catch you later?”
All you can do is nod dumbly, feeling the heat rising to your ears.
As soon as she walks out the living room, you stand up, sprinting to your bedroom.
“Pizza just got here” Tony calls after you.
“I’m not hungry” you lie, shutting the door behind you.
Not for food, at least.
It’s been two days since movie night and Natasha’s the same. So you figure your horny mind blew the interaction out of proportion.
Which is fine, because right now you can’t be distracted.
“On your knees” Natasha commands and you almost faint.
“I… what?”
As part of your quarterly evaluation, you have to take physical and psychological tests to stay on the team.
The sparring part was usually done by Steve, so you were shocked to find Natasha as soon as you walked in.
“Say you’re wounded and can’t stand up. How are you going to fight back?” Natasha walks in circles around you, and you kneel as she requested. “Ready?”
You don’t have time to answer and in a matter of seconds she’s disarmed you, her hand squeezing your troath and her body on top of yours.
It takes everything in your power not to moan.
Natasha releases you and goes at it again, and again, and again. The fighting stances change, but ultimately, you always end up against the mat, her body close to yours, feeling her hot breath against your skin.
“Tired?” she says, straddling your hips. You don’t trust in your voice, so all you do is nod.  “Fine, we’re done”
Natasha lifts herself from you, but you miss the contact immediately.
“Want some help getting up?” she offers when you stay on the ground.
“I just need a minute”
Your muscles are sore, your heart is beating out of your chest and the redness that invades your cheeks and ears won’t disappear.
You’re fucked. And not in the way you’d like to be.
Nothing un-sexier than chores.
As you walk down the hallway, you knock on the doors of some of your teammates, asking if they have dirty clothes to add to your load.
The last door is Natasha’s and you pray she’s not in her room.
“Hi, detka” she smiles as soon as she sees you.
“Dirty…” you stutter like a moron.
“What’s that?”
“Dirty clothes. I’m doing laundry but it’s not a lot. I could put some of your clothes if you need it”
“Thank you. Give me a second” Natasha takes your basket inside and comes back a second later. “Oh, I almost forgot this one” she says when you turn to leave.
“Sure, go ahead…”
The last thing you’re expecting is to see her undressing in the doorway, throwing her SHIELD t-shirt and yoga pants your way.
Natasha is standing in black underwear, staring back at you with a smirk.
“I’ll… I better go” you turn around, colliding against the door. You curse under your breath, aware that Natasha hasn’t closed the door, most likely to see if you turn around one last time.
Using other chores to distract you does the trick for a little while, but then you go back and pull the clothes out of the dryer.
Without thinking, you begin to fold them. That is, until your hands lift a lace thong that is most definitely not yours.
“Oh, great heavens” you drop it, feeling like a Victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time. People wear lingerie, it’s a normal, beautiful, hot thing to do…
But if you find more like that one, you’re gonna combust. instead, you separate your clothes from hers without paying much attention to what’s in your hands. Once it’s done, you go back and knock on her door.
Thankfully, this time she’s wearing a hoodie and leggings.
“Here” you present the basket with clothes, avoiding her eyes. Natasha thanks you and you sigh with relief, walking back to your room.
“Oh, did you happen to see a red lacy bra?”
Damn it.
“Uh… I didn’t like check each thing you put in there, Nat”
“Red, unclasps on the front, has lace that only covers the nipples”
You actually have to lean against the wall, sure that your knees will buckle any minute now.
“Nope. I would remember”
“Alright then” and as if she hadn’t just melted your brain, she smiles and speaks in the sweetest voice you’ve ever heard. “Thank you”
Thank you. That image is forever imprinted in my brain.
How did you end up here?
Milk was all you wanted. When you mentioned you were going to the store, Natasha was quick to offer a ride.
If you had know it was on her motorcycle, you’d have politely declined.
Because, now you have your hands around her midsection, and everytime Natasha lowers her hands at a stop sign, she brushes your thighs delicately.
On the way back, there’s a particularly nasty bump on the road which makes you jump on your seat. As a result, your face sinks in Natasha’s kneck. Not for the first time, you notice the lavender smell and softness of her beautiful red hair. Comforted by her closeness, you practically melt against her. To your horror, a soft moan escapes your lips.
How you wish she hadn’t heard it, but by the way her movements falter, it’s clear she did.
Mortified, you jump the minute she parks, thanking her and disappearing in the elevator.
“Shitshitshit” you mutter, running across the living room, still carrying the bottle of milk. Wanda leans forward, intrigued by the force with which you lock your door. It all makes sense when Natasha comes in, looking for you.
“Again?” the Sokovian says, throwing a pillow towards Natasha.
“What?”
“You’ve been teasing her for weeks. It’s not funny” Wanda glares, making Natasha uncomfortable. If anyone can throw her across the room, it’s Wanda.
“Well, maybe now I will be considered an option” Natasha tries to defend herself, though it comes off as a lame excuse.
Wanda takes a second, trying to understand the meaning behind those words.
Your conversation about that date and the gnomes and Natasha… she was listening.
“That’s what this is about?!” Wanda grabs another cushion and throws it at the redhead, making sure that it hits extra hard with a whisp of red magic. “She didn’t mean you’re not an option. You are her first choice. Because. She. Has. A. Crush. On. You”
Each word is accentuated with a new wave of magic that is harmless, but enough to make Natasha jump.
“Oh” is all she says when Wanda stops.
“Fix it. Every time you tease her those thoughts get very loud, and it’s hard to ignore them”
“I don’t suppose you’ll tell me what she’s thinking” Natasha tries to hide her smirk.
“Who say her thoughts were the loud ones, Romanoff?”
As luck would have it, you couldn’t hide from Natasha much longer.
Duty called and you were placed on a mission together. You had to infiltrate the VIP room of a bar/strip club the Russian mafia owned.
The setup was fairly simple. Natasha would go inside the VIP room while you stayed outside to alert her of anything unusual. So, at least you wouldn’t have to be around each other for long. It was hard to keep sinful thought at bay when she was dressed to the nines, hoping to dash the bouncer and get access to the reserved area.
You look around the street where the main entrance is, hoping Ivanov wouldn’t get here  before Natasha was granted access.
“I couldn’t get past the bouncer” her voice interrupted your thoughts.
“What do we do now?”
“Maybe there’s a way to break into the room…”
“Apparently the only women allowed in the VIP area are dancers. Pigs” she mutters bitterly.
“I might have an idea” you say, following a girl in high heels that enters through a staff door. You sneak up right behind her and walk down a hallway. At the end of it, you find a room full of makeup, mirrors and girls in skimpy outfits.
Oh, God.
“Y/N?” Natasha presses through the comms.
“Looks like I’m a dancer now” 
“Absolutely not. Where are you? I’m calling this mission off now” 
“Come on, Nat. I’ll just pick an outfit, and hope they’ll let me in” 
As you go around some clothes that you hope are clean, Natasha remains quiet. The least revealing outfit is a black leather mini skirt and a heart shaped top.
You are busy inspecting your reflection on the mirror when she breaks the silence.
“I don’t like this”
You don’t like it either, truth be told.
“I’m walking towards the bar. What’s your location?” there is no answer and for a moment you worry Natasha was caught. “Nat?” you insist, speaking louder as the music makes it hard to listen.
“I see you” is all she says. You look around, until your eyes meet hers. Natasha’s intense glare makes you falter, feeling as if you are naked in the middle of a room full of strangers.
“You look…”
“He’s here” you interrupt, looking behind her. “Ivanov”
The mobster leans on the railway that’s above Natasha and you, inspecting with a satisfied smirk the crowd dancing and drinking.
“Nat, you’re gonna have to trust me” you plead, walking towards her as your eyes meet Ivanov’s.
You approach the woman, swaying your hips to the beat of the music. A group of men move aside, enjoying the show that is most definitely not for them. 
Sitting on Natasha’s lap, you pull her closer by the collar of her shirt, hands going down her stomach all the way to the belt loop of her pants.
Ignoring the heat that creeps up your cheeks, you take a shot of tequila from the waiter walking by you, placing the slice of lime on Natasha’s mouth. You down the shot in one swift motion and then connect your lips with hers, taking the slice from her mouth.
“Come to the VIP area” a man appears behind you, pulling you away from Natasha. The woman is quick to stop him, a hand on his arm.
“Don’t” you warn her, because causing a scene won’t do you any good. You walk behind the man, looking around as you’re finally granted access to the VIP area.
To your surprise, there’s a second, more private room where Ivanov and all of his criminals gather around. He laughs when he sees you walk inside, patting the space next to him.
“Nice show out there” he says with a thick Russian accent. “How come I’ve never seen you before?”
“Maybe you weren’t looking hard enough for me” you say, hoping his attention will go back to the conversation happening with the rest of the men.
Sure enough, they begin to argue and you take the opportunity to lean forward and plant the bug on the table. 
“For you” a bartender appears out of nowhere, making you flinch. “You’re gonna need it for later” 
“That’s definitely spiked” Natasha comments. Her voice brings you back to reality.
“Cheers” is all you say.
You wait around for a while longer, until one of the bodyguards asks you to follow him to another room. To your horror, he locks you inside.
“Natasha, extraction” you plead, looking around the room for a way out. No answer. “Nat, please come in”
You hear a commotion outside, and look around for a weapon or anything that will help you defend yourself.
“I told you I didn’t like this” Natasha says when she opens the door and you sigh with relief. “To be clear, I’m talking about the situation. Not the outfit”
“Nat…” you breathe, happy that she came back for you. The woman approaches you, inspecting your face. 
“Are you ok? Did you take the drink?” 
“Obviously not”
“Fine. Let’s go” she grabs your hand and as you walk past the VIP room, you find all of Ivanov’s men knocked unconscious.
“Aww, all of this for me?” you joke, your hand going to your chest.
Natasha doesn’t answer, keeping a tight grip on your hand as you escape the strip club. You think she might be upset because you put the both of you at risk.
Until you’re out on the street and she pushes you against the wall, her body trapping you in place.
“I really wanted to do this nicely” her eyes drift to your cleavage and the look of pure lust drives you forward, capturing her lips in a heated kiss. “Go out with me” she says when you break apart.
“Dressed like this or…?” you joke, biting your lip.
“No, I’d like to be the only one enjoying this view”
“Ok” you laugh. She’s about to lean forward again when you hear a couple of men running around, probably looking for you. “We should go” Natasha complains and you kiss her cheek. “Don’t worry, I’m definitely gonna need help to take this clothes off”
“Let’s go” she says, looking around the street before pulling you to the car that you parked hours ago. 
“Your room or mine?”
“Which one is farthest away from Wanda?” Natasha says, buckling her seatbelt and turning on the car.
“What?” 
“Trust me, it’s for everyone’s own good. Your thoughts aren’t the only thing that will get very loud”
You laugh as she speeds back to the Compound. 
At last, you were about to get lucky, with the girl of your dreams no less.
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duckwithablog · 1 year
Text
⋰ ⊹˚. ♡ Alone on Valentines? ⋰ ⊹˚. ♡
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I was halfway done before most of this got deleted. I am going to scream cry and convulse on the floor. As it's way to late for me to be awake rn, I'll just do this in two parts, for the sake of my sanity </33
I know for a fact that most of us are probably gonna be spending this Valentine's alone, reading fanfic, and honestly same. But let's imagine for a second that that isn't the case.
The turtles react to you being alone on Valentines Day
GN reader, romantic, crushing/pining, fluff
Raphael
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flabbergasted
like that's his initial reaction
i imagine that you guys would just be chilling in the lair, talking, and you slip out that you might be spending valentine's alone
he goes "oh, okay!" before he double takes and says
"wait- really?"
he honestly thought that you would've had a date for valentine's this year
because like... why wouldn't you? you're so attractive, and charming, and lovable, who wouldn't want to date you?
no matter how you feel about being alone (unbothered, sad, etc etc) raph will do everything he can to make you feel better
you don't deserve to be alone! no one does!
so he proudly states that "if you don't have anyone to spend the day with, then raph'll spend it with you! there! now you won't be alone anymore."
he says this all with this big smile
doesn't realize that he basically just asked to be your date
you realize it tho
ofc, you say yes, because who can say no to raph?
and raph just nods to himself, proud, before he processes what he just said
oh. he just scored a date with you.
jaw drops at this realization. OH. HE JUST SCORED A DATE. WITH YOU.
BY ACCIDENT??
vows to make this the best valentine's you'll ever experience
it might be hard, being a giant turtle and all, but by pizza supreme is he gonna try his best anyways
Donatello
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bro you didn't even tell him this information
he literally eavesdropped on your conversation with april while he was nearby
pretends to be really engrossed in whatever he was doing while he strains to listen to what you guys are saying
is also confused when he finds out. according to his statistics, you have plenty of qualities that make you attractive. so why are you spending valentine's alone?
forgets that the data he used to make said statistics are based off of his experiences with you. He then considers that maybe not everybody got butterflies in their stomach whenever you were around
BRO HAD TO REMIND HIMSELF THAT NOT EVERYONE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU LMAO
when april leaves the room, he internally goes aha! an opportunity! and tries to make a move
he acts cool as he talks to you, but don't be fooled, he is internally combusting
not so subtly suggests that you should spend valentine's in the lair with him instead of being alone. tells you that not all love is romantic, and as... friends... you guys have a right to celebrate today as well
damn he is not making this easier on himself
of course, his brothers and april are gonna be there too!! obviously!!
you get to spend time with all of them.
... mostly with donnie, though. especially with donnie.
if you agree, he'd say "perfect! shall we call it a date, then?"
say yes. the look on his face and the growing blush on his cheeks is so worth it
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seungmin4president · 8 months
Text
Restroom
(A/n: theres a suprise at the end HEHEHE)
Warnings: implied exhibitionism, masturbating, implied group sex, language, reader is a dirty motherfucker, I think thats all?
Not proof read❗
Wc: 1,711
"Listen y/n you're just a fucking stylist okay? You only make their outfits, not their boner." You think to yourself as you watch the boys dance and sing on the dimly lit stage with your eyes filled with guilt and lust combined together, rubbing your thighs together to hopefully get rid of the pool that has formed in between them but it wouldn't work, definitely not when they're thrusting they hips up in the air and throwing their heads back.
Is that what it looks like when their fucking you? The cold air around you is starting to feel humid just by the thought of it. Part of you feels guilty for thinking about your coworkers in such a disgusting way but another part of you swears that if no one was around right now you would be touching yourself wishing it was their hands instead of your own, moaning their name as loud as you can.
 I mean, it's not like anyone can hear you over Stays screams and their loud singing.You weren't gonna do until you saw them sweating because of the dances they were doing and DAMN what wouldn't you do to lick it off of them. You couldn't just brush that off so, like any normal human being, you just went into the restroom to let go of that steam. Touching yourself in all ways that you want them to touch you, taking your hand up to your boobs to grab and squeeze one of them, grinding on your hands as you were fingering yourself, imagining how much better you could feel if it was the idols doing it. You knew their cocks would be much longer than your fingers and how much ecstasy they would give you making your eyes roll back at the thought.
Your silent moans of each of their names becoming louder while you come undone on your fingers, your hair sticking onto your forehead because of your sweat. And of course you will never admit this but a small part of you wanted at least one of them to come backstage and hear your dirty pleas and then go into the bathroom with you to give you that pleasure you wanted. No. needed so bad.
And the thing is… they did hear. All of them heard you when they came backstage to take a break and change costumes.
Well actually, Han was the one that heard it through the music that was playing outside and loud fans singing along. He was "walking" running towards the bathroom feeling like he would combust if he didn't use it right away, but when he got there he heard a sensual moan coming from a voice that he was very familiar with. Your voice. He first thought he was going crazy until he looked around without moving to only see you missing so he knows that it must be you.
Then, he heard his name spill out of your mouth so gracefully. Causing his eyes to roll back to his head as he silently groaned, palming his already hard on (he's whipped for you fr). Suddenly he didn't need to pee but he did need to be inside of you, he needed to hear you say his name while watching you crumble and fall apart on his cock.
"G-guys" Han stumbled on his own words, coming out as a mere whisper.
The members all looked at him. Giving him a look of concern before walking up to him. "What's wr-" Chan was talking before he got interrupted by a moan from the restroom but unlike Han, he instantly knew it was you. "Ah again really?" Chan sighed while putting his head in his hand. "Wait.. AGAIN? You're telling me this isn't the first time? And you KNEW ABOUT IT?" Han yelled, giving Chan a confused and shocked stare, causing Chan to cover the boy's mouth shut.
And Chan in fact did know about your dirty secret but the thing was.. you didn't know he knew and Han mentioning it made him think of when he caught you in the act. It was when they were supposed to be in the middle of performing but chan had accidentally ripped his shorts while dancing so he went backstage sweating and panting and walking through all of the staff offering him water that he definitely needed but he just needed to find you so he can go back on stage and have fun with his members and stay. But you were nowhere to be found, he couldn't find you anywhere.
He asked other staff about your whereabouts but none of them knew about your disappearance either. so, he kept looking around in hopes to be able to find you to fix his pants ASAP. But then, when he passed the restroom he heard someone say something that sounded like Felix's name from the restroom and sounded like a moan? He thought he was hearing things until he heard his name come out of a voice that he knew too well and of course it was you.
He felt his pants become tighter despite the huge hole in them. Fuck you sounded so good and it was because of him and his members. It was because of him. He needed to make you scream louder for him, he needed you to beg for him to ruin you just like how you were doing in the restroom, he knew he could do better than your fingers and reach places you wish your fingers could reach.
"Hyung, you there?" Jeongin waves his hand up and down in front of Chan's face, resulting in Chan refocusing on his surroundings and instinctively slapping his hand away "You could've just told me to move my hand." "Yeah I'm sorry let's just go before she catches us right here and thinks we're creeps." The boys then hear the water in the bathroom sink turning on signaling you've finished, making them rush to any seat near them to make it as if they weren't just about to jerk off to your moans.
As you walk out you see the boys on their phones sitting in chairs that are way too close to the restroom for your comfort but you thought since you're not getting confronted by any of them you believed that either they didn't hear you or they just walked in but of course they didn't just walk in because wouldn't they have sweat on them and be drinking water? Either way at least they didn't catch you, right?
You went to get some water to cool off from your previous activity that you just finished and to your surprise, when you got back to the front there were no chairs left but you could've sworn there was a chair between Changbin and Chan.. but it's okay, things like that happens all the time so after getting the boys all together with their outfits you just stand while watching the clock. 30 more minutes until they leave again. Great, you have to deal with the pain standing up for 30 minutes.
When the boys were sure there wasn't anyone around, Chan gave Changbin a nod of approval as Changbin turned his head around to you before speaking "Y/n aren't you gonna sit?" "Oh no I'm fine you guys just finished performing you shouldn't have to get up because of me." You shook your hand side to side in a way to say "it's no biggie" but Changbin just chuckled while shaking his head "Who said anything about me getting up?" "Well if you weren't gonna get up why'd you say th-" You got cut off by Changbin pulling you to sit on his lap.
"B-Bin what the fuck?" You tried to move yourself to get up but his arms are wrapped around your waist and pulling you back down "Just relax." Changbin then put his head in the crook of your neck to place gentle kisses receiving a little whimper out of you in return "You okay? I'll stop if you don't want me to." "N-no it's not like that but what about-" "Us?" Chan says, putting his hand on your thigh, your breath getting caught in your throat at the sudden action as your eyes wided. Is this really happening? You think to yourself.
"We heard you in the bathroom, moaning our names-" Seungmin chuckles as he gets up from his seat to walk over to where you, Changbin, and Chan were, bending down to meet your eyes as he continues "you sounded like a slut." Oh shit. They did hear. "That's right baby girl we heard you" "it really wasn't that hard to hear you as loud as you were so here's just a little tip for you-" Chan goes to your ear to whisper the rest "the next time you decide to masturbate in a room full of people be a little bit quieter, yeah?" Your mind was so wrapped on Chan's breath fanning over your ear, you didn't realize that the rest of the members had walked over to you, their stares giving you goosebumps.
"Do you really want this Y/n?" Felix asks while going down on his knees, pushing your legs apart to slot his face in between them, peppering them with kisses as Changbin and Chan kisses down your neck "Yes please I want it so bad" You look down and feel your face get hotter as you feel Changbin finally bite down on your neck leaving a mark on your skin. Then, you look up and see Hyunjin looking into your eyes before setting his lips on yours, the kiss transforming from a gentle, cute kiss to a sloppy and deep makeout session.
Your hand goes up to Hyunjin's hair to pull him closer, letting out a little moan when you feel Felix's and Minho kissing on both of your thighs "Don't worry princess there's more where that came from" Felix says as his hand dips inside your thigh to rub his hand on your clothed clit making you arch your back, whining into the kiss when Minho stopped kissing your thigh.
"Felix, what are you waiting for? Give the slut what she wants" Minho orders.
Hope you liked the cliffhanger lmao I mean its Halloween so I had to be evil y'know?💀
❗please dont copy my work❗
❗©️seungmin4president ❗
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rekino2114 · 1 month
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How the chainsaw man girls handle jealousy
A/n:I usually don't write for the csm 2 girls but let me know if you want me to and I'll add them to the masterlist (mainly cause I really like fami)
Makima
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Thanks to you, makima, now could finally feel true emotions. You made her feel the happiness of being truly loved, the sadness of being without you, anger when a devil had the gall to hurt you, and the worry of when you came injured from a mission and so on..
She felt another one of those emotions when she saw you talking to another girl at the public safety headquarters, a particularly flirty one who apparently didn't know you were dating her boss.
Ah this must be jealousy.
She wasn't that bothered by it. She knows she can trust that you'll never leave her. However, the moment she starts touching you even after you clearly rejected her and is making you feel uncomfortable, that girl is dead.
She might have better morals after meeting you but she's not above killing who she deems as human scum.
But if things don't reach that stage, the girl might just be assigned a particularly difficult mission as her next
"Sorry, but I have a girlfriend,"
"Who cares? It's not like she's gonna know anyway"
"Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to talk to y/n"
"Ah! M-miss makima!"
"Oh sure babe"
"B-babe? You mean she's your girlfriend"
"Exactly, and now that you know I suggest not looking forward to your next mission"
Power
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The moment she sees you talking to another girl, she gets mad, she assumes you're cheating on her cause she doesn't have that much of an understanding of relationships.
In her eyes, you don't need anyone else when she's clearly the best option.
She's also really angry towards the girl. How dare she try to steal what's hers? Even though she wasn't flirting with you
"Hey! Y/n! What are you doing talking to this human"
"Oh power, don't worry she was just asking me directions"
"Like I believe that! You better go away this very moment I'll kill you!"
"Power be nice"
"Only if you stop talking to this bitch"
"*sigh* I'm so sorry"
Himeno
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How she reacts depends on how drunk she is.
She gets really clingy when she is drunk, so she'll hug you from behind and lazily try to pull you away from the girl you were talking to while mumbling some incoherent words and that's usually your sign to take her home.
She's really not that jealous when sober, even when a girl flirts, she doesn't get mad, she understands her,after all if she didn't flirt with you she wouldn't have gotten with her amazing partner.
"Hey, you having fun without me over here?
"Oh sorry hime,I was just about to tell her I have a girlfriend"
"Oh you do? Sorry I had no idea"
"It's fine. I get it they're so stunning anyone would try to get with them"
"Did you just use the fact that a girl was flirting with me as a way to flirt with me?
"Guess so, I guess complimenting you is just second nature to me"
Kobeni higashiyama
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This poor nervous wreck of a girl.
Whenever she sees you talking to another girl, she kinda gets anxious and starts comparing herself to that girl. Imagine how it is when a girl actually flirts with you
She starts overthinking and sweating,thoughts that you're gonna leave her for the other girl and how she's a bad girlfriend her fill her head.
She'd rather self combust than try to confront the girl with you around so she'll just continue wallowing in self-pity until you finish.
She needs a lot of hugs and reassurances later to calm down
"Hey, are you OK, kobeni? You were sweating and shaking"
"O-oh n-o i'm ok, what about t-that girl you were talking to?"
"I told her I had a girlfriend and she left, don't worry,more importantly, let's continue out date"
"R-really?"
"Of course you're my girlfriend right? I'd much rather hang out with you than some random girl"
"Uhm t-thank you"
Asa mitaka
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She is also kind of anxious and worried just way less than kobeni.
She feels kind of like a bad and boring girlfriend often, and that feeling skyrockets when a girl flits with you.
She trusts you, but seeing you so close to that girl while she blatantly flirts with you just makes her feel kinda angry at her, and yoru definitely tries to take advantage of that.
"Come on don't you wanna get rid of her anyway"
"Not in that way yoru!"
"Just turn her into a weapon, that way I get a new one to fight chainsaw man, and you get to take care of that bitch"
"I'm not gonna do that"
"Geez you really are a bad girlfriend then"
"I'M NOT A BAD GIRLFRIEND"
"........"
"D-did I say that out loud?"
"Yeah but don't worry at least it was the truth"
Yoru
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You and yoru begged asa to let her take control of her body for just an entire date. After a lot of hesitancy, she accepted but made yoru promise not to kill anyone........ You should probably think twice before trusting the war devil
The moment she saw another girl even look at you with a flirty gaze, immediately she turned her into a weapon without any hesitation.
You weren't that shocked, dating yoru does come with a very high chance of her trying to murder people she even thinks are trying to steal you, you were kinda mad at her for what she promised asa though.
"*sighs* why did you do that?"
"You're mine she was trying to take you from me. I could feel it"
"And how are you gonna explain it to asa?"
"Well it's not my problem"
"What?"
Then she feel unconscious the scars from her face disappeared and asa woke up looked at the weapon in her hand and then at you
"I'm so sorry asa I swear I can explain"
Fami
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She was just coming back to your table with your fast food orders (she got way too much food for herself). When she saw you talking to a girl, she didn't recognize
She didn't think much about it maybe you were just talking to a friend. So she ignored the kinda weird feeling in her chest by doing her favorite thing (tied with spending time with you) eating.
The girl, meanwhile, was very freaked out that a random girl was staring at her with a cold glare and ringed eyes so she left allowing you to go back to your girlfriend.
"Hey fami, sorry if It took me long"
"It's fine, who was that girl you were with?
"I don't know she just came up to me and started flirting"
"I see"
"Why? Are you jealous"
"No I am not"
"Alright whatever you say, you did eat faster than usual though and that's saying something"
"*sighs* Humans are truly weird creatures"
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nickfowlerrr · 9 months
Note
🦋 - “what would you do without me?” with steve rogers maybe…? please? :}
(you don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s totally up to you because ik you probably have a bunch of asks and you’re busy. and ofc if bucky instead of steve is better for you then im fine with that too! love you sweets and again… happy 3k ❤️)
working overtime
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pairing: steve rogers x curvy!reader
warnings: literally nothing but smut and a lil bit of fluff. 18+ only.
words: 1.6k
notes: look what you made me do. 💀
but actually, lol, thank you for the request. i wasn't sure i was gonna do it, but i woke up this morning and decided to at least try. i have such a hard time writing steve, especially smut with steve, but this just took off on it's own once i started! hope you enjoy it. not edited and quite hastily written, so sorry for any errors!
thank you in advance for reading! as always, reblogs and comments are more than welcome and so appreciated. let me know what you think! 🩵
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"Oooh, fuuuuuck," the sultry moan draws out from you as you grasp onto his body even tighter, pulling him down even closer as you whimper in his ear, your hot breath across his sweat dampened skin and your legs circling his waist as best they can.
His thick length is hitting just the right spot deep inside your warm walls and you swear to god you're about to combust from the never ending pleasure he's torturing you with.
Your nails are leaving marks all over his solid back, and his heady grunts in your ear are doing nothing but pushing you closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy.
With every deep stroke of his cock inside you, your chests are brushing together. You arch up into him, you need him closer. You need to feel him, every inch of him that you can, along your hot, sensitive skin.
Your lips are searching for him, desperate for his kiss as he fucks you so perfectly.
You nip at his jaw and earn a moan that spurs you on, your lips now incessant until he finally turns his head a bit and meets you. His lips are soft but adamant against your own, hot and fervent as he continues thrusting into you just the same.
"Please, Stevie," you mewl against his lips breathily, sounding so debauched and pathetic.
He fucking loves it.
He drops his body down on yours, but continues to hold most of his own weight with his arms either side of you, one on the mattress and one on your fleshy hip, keeping you exactly where he wants you.
His hips are flush to yours now, he makes sure you feel him, pressing you down into the mattress until you're a mess of broken moans squeezing around him. He can't take his eyes off your pretty face. The way your eyes are closed tight in your pleasure, how your lips are parted just slightly as you let out the most beautiful sounds, just for him.
His gaze stays trained on your face as he begins to slowly roll his hips against yours. The gasp you let out and the way your eyes snap open when he stimulates your sensitive clit with his movements send him even closer to edge he's been on for the past few minutes. He holds himself back, though. He just wants one more orgasm from you, and then you can call it a night.
He said he'd be quick, but from the twinkle in his eye as he kissed your neck, his big hands wandering all over your soft body, those big blues peering up at you, you both knew he'd be anything but.
It'd been a prolonged torture as he ate you out like a man starved, his tongue ceaseless as his thick fingers brought to the edge over and over again before he finally allowed you to come.
When he finally slid his throbbing length into you, you honestly could've come right then, but he took his time with you yet again. He moved slow and deep inside of you, ensuring you felt every inch of his heavy cock as he fucked you like you were the most delicate, precious thing in the world. And to him, you were.
He touched you so gently, large warm hands squeezing and caressing every inch of your body that he could. He slid out of you, turning to sit against the headboard of the bed before he pulled you onto him.
He nuzzled into your neck as you sank down onto his cock, the stretch of him had your head falling back in bliss as his held you to him, his hands on your back, keeping you close.
You rode him just the way he liked, your hands in his hair, holding him to you as he kissed, nipped, and sucked on your sensitive nipples, his hands smoothing up and down your backside as he kept you astride him.
When he felt your walls tightening around him, he grunted deeply, trying to keep hold of himself. He moved a hand around your hip, traveling down to where you met him, his thumb finding your clit and working circles of the bundle of nerves. He had you coming around him in seconds.
You swore you were through after that, but he had other ideas.
He kept hold of you, turning you back over onto the mattress as he hovered above you.
He gave you some time to come down, leaving his cock inside your tight walls, but not moving within you as he kissed you softly, trailing his lips over your skin as he hummed and whispered praises to you.
When he felt your walls squeeze him, he smirked and found your eye. "You ready, sweetheart?" he asked.
"Steeeeve," you bemoaned, "I have work in the morning," you complained while tilting your head to give him more access to your neck as he continued kissing you. You could feel his smile against your skin and couldn't keep your own from gracing your lips.
"Just one more for me, baby," he murmured against your skin, "then we'll sleep."
With that, he began fucking you once more, but his thrusts weren't as slow.
He was hitting you just as deep, but his pace was quicker.
And now here you were, teetering on the edge of your third orgasm of the night.
With every slow, deliberate roll of Steve's hips into yours, you swear you could cry from the overwhelming sensation. It felt so incredibly good, you couldn't stop the gasps and whines that were leaving you even if you'd wanted to.
"You take me so fucking well, angel," he groans. "Squeeze my cock just like that. Oh, fuck. You're so good to me, baby.," he praises with every rock of his hips.
His hand squeezes your hip tight as your legs starts to twitch. "I'm gonna give it to you, baby, don't worry," he soothes as you cry, the pressure compounding as the coil in your belly tightens even more - your muscles taunt as you can feel your walls starting to clench down on him. "I know what you need, sweetheart, I'll give you every last fucking drop," he grits out as his pace falters a bit.
One particular thrust finally has you coming completely undone. You can barely hear yourself as your body shatters around him, your moans and cries and his name like a prayer falling off your tongue are all lost to you as your walls pulse tightly around Steve's cock.
The sensation mixed with the sounds coming from your lips have Steve finally letting himself go; his thick, heavy load painting your walls as your body refuses to let him go without draining every last drop of release he has to offer you.
You're leaking him by the time he finally stops coming, heavy pants from both of you filling the air as he easily grabs your plush body and tugs you into him as he lays down, wrapping his arms around you and sighing in contentment as you let yourself nuzzle into him. You're both a mess of sweat and stickiness but you can't seem to mind all that much as he holds you.
"That was so good," you mumble in your exhaustion, your tiredness now more evident than ever as you melt in his arms.
"Yeah," he smiles. "And see, you're all tuckered out and ready to fall asleep now," he teases.
"I need to pee," you pout into his chest. He laughs and takes a breath before he suddenly moves to stand, holding you in his arms with ease. You know he's super soldier strong, but you'll never get used to how easy he makes it seem.
Your legs are around him, surely making a mess of his abdomen, but he doesn't seem to care as he walks you to the bathroom.
He sets you down gently with a kiss to your forehead before he turns, "I'm gonna grab the towels from the dryer," he says, leaving you to relieve yourself.
When you're washing your hands, he returns, clean towels folded and ready to be put in the cabinet.
"Wanna shower now or in the morning?"
"What time is it?"
"A little past eleven," he tells you, having the decency to be a little sheepish with the information.
"Steve!" you admonish with a whine.
"I'm sorry," he laughs, "but really, do you have to go in on a Saturday? You sure the boss needs you that badly?"
"Oh, the boss needs me pretty damn badly," you answer. He smirks at your quick response.
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind you calling out one day," he says.
"No? Well what would he possibly do without me there?"
He shrugs, "I have a feeling he's gonna be taking the day off, too," he smiles as he gets closer to you, arms wrapping around you.
"Is he, now?" you question.
"He is," he whispers as he leans close to you, brushing his lips against yours. "We both deserve it."
It's your turn to smile then as you kiss him gently. "We do," you agree. "Thank you," you add with another kiss.
"Mmm," he hums against you. "What would you do without me?" he jokes. You chuckle.
"Might get some fucking sleep for once," you shove him playfully, laughing as he humors you and pretends to be affected by your push. "Start the shower, Captain, you're a mess."
"Yes, ma'am," he says with a smirk, his eyes trailing your body, lighting a fire under your skin as he does. "You gonna join me? I know you cleaned up some," he says, pulling you in by your arms, "but we could always get you a little more dirty."
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7ndipity · 1 year
Text
Dating Namjoon headcanons
Warnings: swearing, suggestive, teeny bit of angst
A/N: I realized that I hadn't written anything for Joon in a hot minute, so let's change that, shall we?
Masterlist
Requests are open
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Dating Namjoon feels like one of those early 2000s romance movies.
Utterly frustrating but soo worth it.
He talks a lot of hype in his songs, but I think when he first meets someone he's really into, he's a fucking mess.
Like it's Joon, but it's Joon, you know what I mean?
Red ears, stumbling over his words(and feet), getting flustered every other sentence.
Probably walked into a wall while distracted talking to you.
Don't get me wrong tho, once he gets the butterflies to chill and gets comfortable, the rizz is BACK and in full force.
Big on eye contact
Stares at you with absolute heart eyes(if you've seen that clip of him watching Hobi from Bon Voyage, you know what I'm talking about)
But can flip the switch in the blink of an eye, and be looking at you like he's gonna eat you alive(we love a duality king)
Simp Romantic. Will randomly bring you flowers just cause he was thinking about you(but he's always thinking about you, so why was today any different?)
Writes soo many songs/lyrics about you, but rarely tells you about them directly. He just asks if you wanna hear something he's been working on, and then sits back and watches your faves as you catch the hidden meanings and references. At the end, he's just sitting there, grinning, asking "You like it?"
(Like, yes, I like it you fucking dork!)
Always remember important dates like birthdays and anniversaries( first date, first kiss, everything)
Museum and bookstore dates are a given.
Buying/sharing books with you is probably one his favorite forms of intellectual intimacy, because, for him, each one is a glimpse into your mind.
If you mention one of your favorite titles and he hasn't read it, he's gonna find it asap.
Would try to get you to workout with him and be gym buddies.(I don't know if I like or hate that idea tho?)
Random texts at 1am asking if you're up and wanna hang out?(may or may not be outside your place already, cause he's over-eager and forgot to text earlier)
Endless, late night talks about everything from music to the meaning of life to what jelly bean flavor is superior(it's watermelon)
Also random trips together. Could be to the beach, could be to Sweden, who knows? You bring out his spontaneity and are one of the only people who can get him to take a vacation anyway.
He is a workaholic though, so you have to look out for him sometimes, make sure he eats, sleeps, touches grass, etc.
You probably bicker and butt heads a lot, but y'all make sure it never gets out of hand and try to find a solution.
(Lowkey possessive, but won't admit it)
Not a fan of pda, but he *clings*.
He tries to be subtle about it, but fails because it's like there's a gravitational pull between the two of you from the way he's constantly within arm's reach wherever you are.
Same goes for when you're alone. He's not technically cuddling you, but he always somehow ends up pressed to your side or back, or has a hand on you in some way.
Another member of the 'Protective Squad'. Like, if anyone so much as looks in your direction the wrong way, he's got the death glare locked on them.
Pretty classic when it comes to nicknames for you. Things like 'honey', 'baby', 'jagi'. Adds 'my' in front of any of them when he's in the mood to fluster you.
Which reminds me, he is the BIGGEST FUCKING TEASE ISTG.
He knows exactly what riles you up, and then just gives you these soft, sweet little kisses like you're not about to combust. Has the nerve to then smirk and call you needy(I wanna fight him)
Finds the most random things you do attractive. The way you read. The way you make your coffee. The weird little face you make when your flipping through Netflix.
Although he seems a bit cautious, I actually think a relationship with him might move pretty fast. Like, he's fighting back from asking you to move in with him after five or six months type of fast.
Lives for domesticity with you.
Quiet, sleepy mornings together. Messy hair and glasses over tired eyes, resting against your shoulder as he brings you coffee while you cook breakfast.
I know he said he's not sure abt kids anymore, but I do see him possibly getting a pet with you to 'round out the household'. Something quiet and low maintenance though, like a couple hermit crabs.(would probably name one after a favorite artist/author and then name the other smth random like 'blue')
Again, I don't know how to end these. Just love him, please.
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haruchi-slit · 1 month
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"AND IM BUSTIN' 21 TIMES ON HIS NOSE"
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warnings: 18+ mdni, fem! reader, be cautious while reader some scenes might not be suitable for some readers, cunnilingus + 69ing + face riding / face sitting chi-list
thinking about higuruma convincing you to sit on his face for the first time, telling you that's it's gonna be fine and he can breathe even if you put your whole weight on his face...
so picture this...having a normal intimate session with your fiancee higuruma, till he asked you to seat on his face, "hon, c'mere- sit on my face" he purrs, and you were taken aback- "i can't- fuck" you debated as you bounced on his cock, "baby- s' gonna be alright, promise- make you feel good" higuruma grunts
"you won't be able to breathe- fu-ah" you moaned placing your hands on his chest.
"I'll find a way, please hon..." he pleads as his hands squeeze the fat of your ass, "fuck don't look at me with those pleading eyes hah...fine." you pout as you crawl towards his chest , "gonna make you feel so good, promise."
"fuck are you sure about this hiro?" he nods before pulling you towards his face, while you used your kneecaps as your support, "take a seat honey" you frowned "what do you mean "seat" you won't be able to breathe!" you murmured, "I'll find a way, c'mon baby put your full weight on me" you hesitated at first but you soon obliged slowly nestling on hiromi's face...as soon as you sat on hiromi's face he was quick to latch his mouth onto your cunt with no hesitation, as his nose graced your clit on each buck you made, "fuck hiro, just like that" you moaned as you reached for his dripping cock, giving it pumps while you instinctively grind your clit on his nose, hiromi might not be that good on his fingers but fucking hell he knows how to eat a pussy, you grunt softly as your cunt clenched around hiromi's nose. his hands glides on your thighs and breast as your other hand massaged higuruma's scalp grinding your cunt deep on to his face, "fuckfuckfuck 'm close-" you mewled gripping on his hair with both of your hands, bucking your hips on his face, as you feel your climax close, hiromi wasted no time to make you cum as he intensifies the speed of his tongue, slurping your sopped cunt, "ah ahh fuckk~!" you groaned as you released on his face, hiromi flipped on the other side of the bed before you could even notice pulling your thigh toward his face once more, as you faced his cock that's dripping with pre-cum, he spits on you cunt, using it as a lubricant making your pussy wetter, his mouth locked with your cunt before you could even process on what's happening, you once again, instinctively wrapped your hands on his dick before putting his member on your mouth, swirling your tongue on his tip making him grunt and send vibrations to your clit, you can feel your juices drip down hiromi's handsome face as he devours your cunt. fucking hell, it felt you're going to combust, you suck on higuruma's member with hazy eyes feeling the unbearable pleasure creeping once more on your abdomen, feeling hiromi's tongue in your gummy walls and clit, you gripped on higuruma's thighs as you swallowed him in your mouth, " 'm close ngh- " you moaned as your toes curled and your back arched, before cumming all over his face once more, "fuuu- hah!" you whimpered as you bob your head on his cock taking him full in your throat until your nose touched his balls, "mhmm- hah keep doing that baby I'm 's fucking clo-close!" you heard him murmur, before feeling higuruma's hands creeped on your ass spreading them apart before diving back on your puffed and sensitive cunt, you yelped softly in respond while desperately making him cum, feeling his cock throb inside your mouth and his balls tightening, hiromi gripped your ass apart harder gobbling down on your pussy like it was his last meal, moments after he paints your pretty mouth with his thick and creamy ropes of cum...before he pulls another orgasm from you again, and again and again...
" hiro-nghah..s'too much- ugh" you whimpered begging him to give you a break as he once again dive on your sensitive cunt, eating it like a starved man, "just one more baby, please and I'll let you rest" he uttered, he said that line a few minutes ago, you gripped on a handful of his hair as your body shook uncontrollably from pleasure as hiromi pulls another orgasm from you, at this point his pleasure was not on his priorities anymore, your is, as he spent the night nestled between your heavenly thighs diving your delicious cunt all night long.
a/n : I'm going to do some of you all's request, please slide thru my inbox hehe, thank you guys!
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blackopals-world · 10 months
Text
Otaku!Yuu: I've always found it weird that in most dark fantasy romances it's always some old-as-hell fae prince or dragon king trying to get with an 18-year-old girl.
Writer!Yuu: Yeah and they will have no discernable interest or personality outside of the obligatory tragic backstory the author gives them that is either way over the top or the most first-world problem you've ever heard of.
Otaku!Yuu: (acting)Oh my lord, I can't sing in front of the court! I haven't sung since my mother died in front of me. She was crushed by a piano while pushing me out of the way. I then fell into the road where a bus full of choir singers on the way to a performance nearly ran me other if it was for my father shielded me and died on impact. I miraculously didn't get injured except for this really cool tiny scar that I keep saying makes me ugly and refuse to listen when you tell me otherwise. After all as a woman I need a man to tell me I'm pretty or I will spontaneously combust!
Writer!Yuu: Oh God stop!! Please I swear I've read that before! Fea romance is so stupid anyways. It's the same story of some creep getting with a girl who's still mentally a child. But they are MEANT TO BE! Or something.
Otaku!Yuu: You ever notice that most of them are written by white Mormon women from the Midwest?
Writer!Yuu: For once I'd like a romantic lead that is actually fucked up. Not some kid who has to learn to fit in. Someone who knows politics and has core beliefs on leadership. Or hell, knows subterfuge and will stab someone in the back if needed. None of that namby pamby "you can't kill him then you'll be just as bad" nonsense.
Otaku!Yuu: Right where are you gonna get that?
-elsewhere-
Malleus:So how did you get your title if you weren't first in line to rule?
Noble!Yuu: The traditional way. Everyone else died.
Malleus:I'm sorry dear.
Noble!Yuu:( Took revenge on family members by convincing everyone they were traitors. Disposed of the crown prince and had everyone killed. Then placed their preferred royal on the thrown who pardoned them after their plan was done.) You're so kind love.
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seat-safety-switch · 3 months
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Now that the forces of gentrification are at work in my humble community, I'm seeing all kinds of new people on the streets, when before it was just catalytic converter thieves. Community organizers, politicians, joggers, and dog walkers. It's that last one that really gets my goat.
You see, it's one thing if you walk a dog all the way from one place to the other. This new breed of dog walkers, though? Loads up their car with the dog, and drives approximately two blocks to the dog park to let them out. I got a real problem with that. That doesn't build sufficient oil pressure. It doesn't put enough heat in the engine. It's hard on the bores and the bearings and the cams. You're also beating the shit out of the battery starting this whole mess without letting it charge fully in this weather. It makes me sad.
Sure, if you're one of those hippie types, you can also argue that the cold-start emissions and low distance-to-fuel-spent ratio ratchet us ever closer to an irreversible climate apocalypse. That's true, sure, but the bigger problem is that it reduces the supply of viable junkyard engines I'll have to pick from in just a few decades. It's already hard enough trying to find iron block engines without excessive bore scoring; as soon as I start trying to throw Toyota 2GRs into my ancient Plymouth, it's going to be oil-burning city because all y'all couldn't be bothered to walk an extra two blocks with your dog.
Let's all try this again. When you walk your dog, walk your dog. He, she, or they are not gonna suffer from a few extra minutes of walking to bookend the five minutes of limp frisbee-tossing that you're going to treat them to at the dog park. It's better for the environment, and it's a lot better for the most important people on Earth: scavengers of long-destroyed internal combustion machinery who are too cheap to pay for a machine shop to clean up a two-hundred-dollar junkyard block.
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