#you're gonna get called up for duty real soon

[luveline]

I’m on my knees for anything bombshell and spence 🙏🏽 maybe their first real date??? or them working a case after they are officially together

Oh, the misery. 

You and Spencer are supposed to be in a low lit restaurant right now feeding each other spoonfuls of parsnip soup between lovey-dovey eyefuls of one another, legs tangled under the table, your kitten heel scratching against the rubber sole of his converse. 

You're supposed to be dressed to the nines, your shawl fragrant with the vanilla perfume Spencer likes so much, a dress cut to the thigh that shows just a little too much when you lean forward. You're supposed to be kissing like idiots in the back seat of your car. 

“They haven't seen anything this bad since the Creek Killer, and this is two active UnSub's at once, so let's keep that in mind,” Hotch says, nodding to the door for Rossi to follow. He sends you and Spencer a look that may or may not be knowing as he adds, “And keep this professional.” 

“Aren't we professional?” you ask Spencer. 

“No!” Morgan calls, he and Emily already out the door. 

Hotch and Rossi are on crime scene duty. Morgan and Emily the victim's family. JJ will be snapping at the heels of the ravenous media in an attempt to dissuade them from following this case too closely: it's a bad one. Coverage will make it worse. 

You're on theory. There are two halves to your job —analysing past cases with similarities, and scrutinising the details of the current case. What you really want is to be analysing Spencer Reid's stupid hot face, and for his hands to be scrutinising your hips. Or your legs. Or your mouth. 

“I know what you're thinking.” 

You raise your eyebrows at Spencer. “I don't think you do.” 

He laughs, “No, I do.” His tie gets caught under his elbow as he grabs your notebook. “They always give you the worst jobs.”

“That's just not true, Mr. Reid. This is my very favourite job.”  

“Dr. Reid,” Spencer corrects, a smile already playing on his lips in anticipation of your reaction. 

You needle an elbow into his side until he huffs and pulls away. Surrendering. Typical. Displaced air fans your hand as he opens your notebook to a blank page. “We'll start with UnSub commonalities, just as soon as…” he murmurs, his pen scratching across the top line. You can't see past his shoulder. 

“Serials targeting women,” you say immediately. “Likely older, white, male, the usual. Murders are incisive, and disgusting, but the signatures are so different, they can't be– Does the pen not work?” 

Spencer shakes his head, sliding the notebook across the table to you. “Had to do this first.” 

Caveats for perfect first date, Spencer's written, a list with one lonely bullet point. Me and you together. 

You shouldn't be surprised. It's really not unlike him to be sweet, but this is alarmingly confident. I'm gonna eat him, you think, looking up with a smirk that turns soft at the sight of him. His cheeks are marbling with red flush, hair in his eyes as he stares anywhere but you. 

“Spence, are you blushing?” you ask fondly. 

“Don't be upset about tonight,” he murmurs, ignoring you with a hint of worry to his tone. “I know it's not what you wanted, but I– we can still go, when we're home–” 

You press your lips together in an unsuccessful attempt to hide your smile. “Yeah, we can still go, but you're right, Spence. You are. This is as good a place as any. 'N' I can make any date perfect.” 

Your joke rescues him from the depths of mortification. He clears his throat, says, “Exactly. But we should get back to the list.” 

He takes your hand under the table, long fingers sewn between yours.

[specterllaw]

Mommy or Ma'am? - Mike Ross x Reader / Older Brother Harvey

Summary: After a hospital scare, Mike is put on babysitting duty, which quickly turns into a fun morning for you both

Warnings: SMUT, Switch! reader Switch! Mike

Harvey knew getting Jessica to hire you was a bad idea, he thought he could fully trust you though. You were twenty two it was your first real job, even it was just making copies for everybody in the office when needed.

I was going smoothly for awhile until Monday Morning rolled around, Y/n was on edge because not only did she have tests coming up but she also had sports, work, and helping her older brother Harvey keep his penthouse and office clean and neat. She felt like she was losing it, so whenever she was woken up at 6AM to go to the office she wanted to start crying, she hadn't even been to bed really, only falling asleep twenty minutes before Harvey even woke her up.

You were stuck in the copier room, taking stacks of papers from different associates, and partners and just coping them over and over again. It was working smoothly until you dozed off coping papers and mixed up the order of them, now realizing you messed up very important documents your breathing started to shallow. You heart rate was speeding up and you started to feel dizzy and hot, holding onto the table next to the copier tightly you heard somebody's rushed footsteps approach you all before your eye sight went black. "Woah woah woah" Mike said taking in your unusual state holding you up quickly as your body went limp "Louis! Rachel!" He yelled trying to shake you lightly "C'mon Y/n, wake up" He whispered nervously, not knowing what was going on with you, as he saw Louis walking up to the door he took a breath of relief "Stay here with her, I'm gonna call an ambulance and go get Harvey" Mike said urgently, gently laying you on the ground, using his suit jacket as a cushion under your head, waiting until Louis knelt next to you to try and wake you before rushing through the firm "Donna! call 911! now" He said checking Harvey's office only to see it empty "Mike! Calm down what's going on?" Donna asked worried standing up and resting a hand on his chest "I walked in to get copies from y/n and as soon as I walked in, she fell to the ground- where's Harvey?" He asked quickly before rushing to Jessica's office seeing Harvey sitting in front of her desk. "What do you need, Ross? We're having a very important-" Mike cut Jessica off quickly, and rudely. "Y/n passed out, I don't what happened" He whispered, Harvey looked at Jessica and then Mike "Damnit" he huffed standing up quickly rushing to the copier room right as paramedics were coming up from the elevator and rushing to the same room as him.

Whenever you woke up seeing your room empty made your heart hurt, not even Mike showed up to check on you? What even happened? Right before you could decide on what happened you hear the door latch and in rushes Mike and Harvey fighting on who gets in the room first. "Y/n" Harvey sighed sitting on the side on your bed "Don't ever do whatever you did again" He demanded, thinking he was talking about you messing up the copies and files you started to tear up "I-I'm sorry" You whimpered, terrified you might get fired for all of this "For what? I mean..Whenever you feel worked up..come find me..I understand more than you know, y/n/n" he whispered running a hand over your hair to smooth it out "I get panic attacks too...instead of...blacking out..I puke"He whispered, you studied his face, that explained all the mornings before his trials he'd get sick. "Same goes for you then..come find me" You whispered to him grabbing his hand squeezing it "So what happened?" You added on tilting your head "Exhaustion, y/n" Harvey said sternly "Which means, you're taking the next two days off, to rest, recharge" He said turning his head as Mike coughed awkwardly. "Okay kid, I'll let you speak, but I swear if you try anything with my sister I will kill you" Harvey stated seriously and confidently "Okay okay" Mike grumbled raising his hands up in the air before taking Harvey's seat, Harvey taking a step out into the hallway to call Jessica.

"Mr. Ross" You mumbled, you still felt a little sleepy from whatever they gave you but you were desperate to wake up "Ms. Specter" He quipped back running his hands down his pants legs. "You okay, Mike?" You asked softly sitting up to rest a hand on his shoulder "Y/n..I like you" He whispered "More than a friend, more than a co-worker, and I wanna like you as my girlfriend..but I don't want your brother to kill you" Mike added on resting a hand on yours "How long have you felt like this Mike?" You whispered using your other hand to cup his cheek "Weeks.....You're just..so kind and sassy, and the way you give Harvey shit is just...the proud look you have on your face after you make him speechless is adorable" He rambled "I would have you make copies of random words I had typed up just to see you..that's what I was on my way to do whenever I came into the copier room and found you leaning on the table about to fall.." Mike rambled even farther before you giggled and kissed him deeply

"Can you not shut the hell up Mike?" You mumbled against his lips as he resting a hand on yours, jumping away whenever he heard the door open "Excuse me!" Harvey yelled looking at you both "Care to explain yourselves, children?" He asked crossing his arms like a mother.

You were surprised to see Harvey agree to let Mike stay over, he claimed it was just to 'help you sleep, like you claimed' but you felt like he preferred you not to be home. As you walked into your room you smiled as Mike who was already ready for bed, striped to nothing but his boxers, truth was you and Mike had slept together, a couple of times, you both had agreed it was strictly friends with benefits until just yesterday at the hospital. "Ready for me to help you sleep?" Mike quoted playfully "Yes sir" You giggled climbing onto the bed, straddling Mike's lap as you looked down at him "Ah ah, Princess needs to rest, let me do all the work, baby" he whispered before using his hips and body force to flip you two over to where he was hovering over you.

"Look. At. Me" Mike demanded, you were on your third orgasm now, Harvey was long gone at work now and Mike was spending the day inside of with you, specifically taking turns making each other cum, but now Mike had taken it into his own hands to make you forget your own name, and you were 10000% okay with that. You felt Mike's hand grab your chin forcefully having you look up "I said look at me." He growled as he kept grinding his hips, his dick still buried six and a half inches deep inside of you, you moaned loudly leaning your head further back into the pillows, biting your lip as you made eye contact with Mike, whining and moaning loudly again. You couldn't help it, between his shiny lips from going down on you, to the messy ass hair from you pulling on it, or making the sex drunk look with the lazy smirk as his face as he fucked you into oblivion. "F-Fuck Mike!" You whimpered as he spit forcefully down where his cock entered inside of you before rubbing your clit with two fingers. You couldn't take it, you wanted to scream but you knew your brother would get a noise complaint and he'd know what you two were doing, home alone.

"My slut can take it" Mike whispered in your ear as he wrapped a hand around your throat, squeezing tightly as he started to thrust his hips alot faster than he previously was "Fuck fuck fuck Mike!" You screamed trying to close your legs but Mike just held them back open, continuing the sweet abuse on your clit, you could feel yourself getting close to the breaking point of cumming again and you knew Mike didn't care. You gasped loudly arching your back as he started fucking you alot faster, the hand around your throat tightening and it just added to your pleasure. "Cum, slut" Mike growled, not letting his hips falter its pace as he watched you cum, the way your face scrunched up, or the way your pussy squeezed around his cock as tight as possible, or maybe it was the fact you were screaming his name while leaving scratch marks all down his back but whatever it was, he wanted to remember it forever. You started to whimper, his cock moving inside of you beginning to become way too much for you to handle "Hold on baby..Use your words, you know what to say to stop, Daddy's so close though" Mike panted as he kept fucking you, his little whimpers were enough to get you wet yet again, but this time it sparked an idea. Once Mike started to pull out you glared at him, giving him a look that says 'you'll regret that' "Keep fucking me, baby" You whispered grabbing his boxer waist band that was tugged down below his cock, using it to pull him back closer, and his cock back deeper inside of you "Keep fucking mommy" You moaned arching your back, Mike whined before rolling onto his back pulling you ontop of him "Fuck keep talking please, you're so fucking hot" He moaned grinding his hips up "So Mike Ross is also a bottom?" You gasped playfully before holding his hips down "In that case, hips down, slut" You demanded before starting to grind and bounce your hips slowly on his lap, moving his cock in and out of you at a slow pace, making Mike try and sit up quickly, once he realized that wasn't happening he attempted to try and speed up your pace by thrusting his hips up but you just grabbed his hair and tugged it back, using the opportunity to leave hickeys down his neck. "F-Fuck Ma'am" Mike whined sitting up holding you close to him before taking one of your nipples in his mouth, swiping his tongue over it along with gently nipping at it, all making you increase the speed you were going. Mike was a whining wiggling mess, desperate to fuck you again and get his pleasure, he hadn't been a bottom since high school when he fucked the popular girl so this was extremely extremely hot for him.

"You wanna fuck me, baby?" You whispered in his ear dragging your nails down his back "Yes. yes yes yes Mommy, ma'am, yes, whatever you want me to call you just please let me fuck you, I wanna make you cum again" He whined trying to move his hips up against you as you lifted your hips up so it was just the tip inside of you. "Then take whats yours, Mike.." You whispered before kissing him deeply, he flipped you again, fucking you alot more erratic and harder, slamming into your pussy like it was the last time he'd ever fuck anybody. "Fuck!" You both shouted, yours more of a moan while Mike's was a full whine. You gasped feeling him cum inside of you, something you weren't expecting considering he had a condom, you couldn't think too much about it as you felt that familiar knot in your stomach snap as you came for the fifth or sixth time that morning.

As Mike pulled out you watched him stare down in horror and shock "Y/n..The condom broke.." He mumbled looking towards you as you were laying down trying to catch your breath.

[thefanficmonster]

Piss off your parents pt.1

PART 2

PART 3

Colby Brock x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Drinking, Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, Friends to Lovers, Fake Dating, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: You just wanted to rebel a little, how did it get to this?

"Y/N, you're fucking insane." Colby grumbles, struggling as he unbuckles one of his best friends out of the backseat of his car. She, however, seems completely unbothered by him maneuvering her into an upright position. She's giggling, actually, a direct contrast to her mascara streaked cheeks. She's drunk, wasted. Three sheets to the wind, if you will.

He already had to put two other drunk messes to bed tonight, Y/N's his third. He should be getting paid per person and per difficulty. Nate was the easiest to subdue, followed by Sam who put up a brief 'I'm not even drunk, dudeeee' kind of fight. And now her.

The party was at Sam's house so the previous two didn't require any special treatment other than being dunked into Sam's bed. Y/N however...

She'd pleaded with Colby, the most sober one of the bunch, to just let her be. Let loose, get drunk, flirt around a bit. That being said, four hours later - two hours past her curfew - when he tried prying her away from the drink table she put up one hell of a fight.

"You have the balance of a newborn giraffe! You're done! I'm cutting you off!" He'd yelled over the music, hearing his own parents' scolding in his tone but he ignored it. He had to take on the parenting role with his friends, it was his turn after all. He knows they'd do the same - they've done the same - when he was plastered. He owed them the same curtesy. Especially Y/N.

She's usually on parenting duty, not really on the heavy drinker side. But after the fight with her parents she told him about earlier, he can't blame her for wanting to drown it out with a few extra shots.

A few too many extra shots.

He was planning on just safely storing her in one of the guestrooms for the night and playing nurse the following morning when all three would undoubtedly have a hangover. But that's when Y/N's cognitive thought kicked in.

"My parents are gonna kill me if I don't make it home tonight! I can't sleep here!" She was - and still is - heavily slurring her words but the thought of further pissing off her folks drove her into an almost sobering panic. "Call me an Uber while I find my shoes. What time is it?"

Colby had carefully dodged around answering that question, knowing it would send her into a full blown heart attack knowing she was running so late. He tried telling her on time but she'd blown him off, saying she didn't care about the stupid curfew or at least that's how much he'd caught from her string of slurred rambles.

"You're not getting an Uber at this hour. Come on, I'll drive you." He'd said reassuringly as he picked up one of her stray shoes.

They soon found the second one and her missing purse and within fifteen minutes they'd gotten in his car and were gliding down the road with the speed of a tortoise. At this point in time Colby was neither drunk nor tipsy but that didn't stop him from sweating bullets as he operated the vehicle.

"I don't wanna go to Barton!" He'd believed she was asleep after the long stretch of silence following their departure so her sudden exclamation was quite startling.

"You won't, Y/N. You're coming with us to LA, remember?" He believed in that lie as much as she did, but he needed to soothe her somehow.

"Not according to mom! I'm gonna be stuck here in Kansas all my life!" Her anger was now engulfed by sobs Colby gently offered tissues for.

He stayed quiet and let her ramble, only partially listening to the words spilling directly from her heart. He especially tried drowning out the part where she went on a whole rant abut her massive crush on Nate.

But, alas, he wasn't successful, seeing as how he was white-knuckle-gripping the steering wheel more than half the way to her house.

That's how they've ended up here - one a giggly and mascara stained drunken mess and the other a bitter and regretfully sober babysitter. Well, babysitter, Uber driver and therapist all in one. He really should start charging for his services.

He wraps one of Y/N's arms around his shoulders, securing it there by holding her hand while his other arm fixates itself around her waist to keep her upright and at least semi steady on her feet.

With a silent prayer, he tries pushing the front door open with zero luck. It's locked.

He's cycling through all the stages of grief as he comes to terms with the fact that he will, unfortunately, have to ring the bell and alert Y/N's parents of their arrival.

He does just that, although quite begrudgingly, sighing heavily when he sees a light turn on through one of the windows. The sound of oncoming footsteps follows.

His eyes are soon met with the unpleasant glare of Y/N's mom who - as he's picked up on from their handful of interactions - already isn't very fond of him.

Just him!

She's lovely to Sam and Nate, but he's not extended the same curtesy. You can visibly see the air around her get colder when she approaches him whereas she's always been so kind and welcoming to the other two people in their friend group. He hasn't been able to figure out why. Bringing it up to Y/N proved futile as she just shrugged and shook her head.

"No clue, Colbs. But don't take it personally. She's just like that." She had said, but it didn't sit right with Colby. It made no sense. And it continues to bother him.

And unnerve him, specifically now as he's being stared down by her icy gaze.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Mrs. Y/L/N....just bringing Y/N home. She had a little too much to drink." There's no way in hell he could've concealed her drunkenness. She's hanging off of him with her head bowed, her hair forming a curtain over her face. He wouldn't be surprised if he were to find her already asleep.

"You know where her room is." There's an edge to her scoff that could slit a man's throat, but Colby chooses not to dwell on it. Truly, he can't, seeing as how she's already moving away from the doorway and down the hall into the living room, leaving him to deal with the mess she thinks he caused.

He can't find it in himself to be offended right now, although he probably will be later. He has bigger fish to fry.

And so, with his options limited, he opts to pick her up bridal style so he can easily carry her up the stairs. He hopes to God her parents don't see this and get the wrong idea.

Oh if he only knew what's to come...

As carefully as he can, he settles his unconscious best friend on her bed, tucking her in. He's murmuring reassuring words under his breath as he does so, not sure if they're meant for her or him but in the end it all works out.

"Night, Y/N." With that whispered in the darkness of the room and a gentle kiss on her temple, he makes his exit, briefly stopping at the bottom of the stairs to peek into the living room, "Good night, Mrs. Y/L/N."

"It's almost morning." Her reply is on-par with most of their interactions so he just pushes past it, shaking his head slightly before leaving out the front door.

As he does so, he notices the sky has taken on a brighter shade of blue, signaling Y/N's mom really wasn't exaggerating. With a sigh, he gets back behind the wheel, heading to Sam's house to check on his other two patients.

* * * * *

Her head is pounding but you'd never be able to tell from the giant grin on her face as she sprints through the neighborhood, skipping through backyards and hopping the occasional fence to cut the trip short. The strap of a duffle bag is slung over her shoulder, she's clutching onto it tightly. It has all her belongings in it, after all. It's of upmost importance she doesn't lose it.

That's be rather unfortunate right after spontaneously moving out, wouldn't it?

She wouldn't say she got kicked out of the house per-se. That would indicate that she was thrown out against her will. Quite the contrary actually. She was more than happy to leave. Had she known those were the magic words, she would've said them so much sooner.

She catches herself before she can make a face-first collision with Sam's front door, stopping to catch her breath and knock a couple of times. And a couple more times. And a few more times.

It's safe to say she's impatient. But with the news she has, you can't blame her.

"Stop! Stop!" A disheveled Sam finally opens the door, one hand partially covering his pale face, "Too loud..."

Y/N gives herself a moment to feel guilty and hug him apologetically before dashing inside. "Colby's here, right?"

"Yeah!" She hears his voice coming from the kitchen and immediately makes a beeline in his direction, dropping her bag in the foyer.

Upon entry, she finds Colby and Nate sitting by the kitchen island, both in different stages of 'the morning after'. Despite the crippling headache, however, the latter finds it in him to give her a genuine smile, sliding off the stool to envelop her in a hug.

"Aww, is someone hungover?" She mocks Nate, sneaking a sip from his Gatorade.

"Hey!" He complains, reaching over to snatch the bottle from her, "Give it back! I need it way more than you do."

Colby, unable to stomach their interaction - for reasons he doesn't want to get into right now - busies himself by looking down at his phone.

He's known of Y/N's little crush on Nate for months now. At first it was only speculation based off her demeanor around him. And then it was more like a punch to the gut when she tipsily confirmed it one night.

"Colbs?" Her voice snaps him out of his brief bitter spiral, forcing him to look up, "Can I borrow you outside for a sec?"

He's struggled with saying 'no' to her since the day they met. Not that he wants to turn her down, he just wishes he could.

And wishes she didn't. Without even knowing it. Turn him down, that is.

With a nod, he follows her out to the patio where the sun isn't kind to either of them, adding gasoline to the fire of their raging hangovers.

"Sup?" Try as he might, he has never been good at feigning nonchalance around her.

It's surprising to see her nervous. For once, he believes their playing field to be even. "So...I've got good news wrapped up in bad news."

Her words would panic him a lot more had she not come in like a force of nature with a gleaming smile adorning her face. Still, it's not at the top of the list of things he wants to hear on a Saturday morning. So, with an exaggerated sigh, he signals for her to continue, "I'm all ears. The last twenty four hours can't get much worse."

He watches her face twist as she cringes, well aware she's about to prove him wrong, "Well...." With a deep breath, she finally spits it out, "The good news is, I'm coming with you guys to LA."

Colby doesn't spare a second, momentarily forgetting the bad news she'd mentioned as he scoops her up in a hug, "No fucking way! Hell yeah! I fucking told you!" He can't describe the immense joy and relief he's feeling right now. "Kiss that Barton College shit goodbye!"

Giggling, Y/N kicks her feet, looking for solid ground beneath them. Not that she's in a rush to be set back down. In fact, for a split second, she wishes this moment could last forever.

But, she's aware it's impossible.

Suddenly, she feels guilt creeping in for even letting that thought run loose in her head. She doesn't even know how or why it popped up.

She just knows she's about to ruin it all.

"One problem..." It's actually far more than one, but they'll dissect that later on. She just has to get the main one out the way, "You see, how that came to be...."

"You have no shame! You get wasted at parties, break rules, come home past curfew." Mrs. Y/L/N's voice is shaking the house, echoing twice as loudly in Y/N's head as she's just trying to eat a bowl of cereal. "Random people are bringing you home at dawn!"

She has the gull to argue back, "Colby is not just some random person, mom!"

"Oh yeah, he of all people was the one bringing you home! What the hell, Y/N?!"

Her mom has never liked Colby. The problem is, no one knows why. Y/N isn't sure if her mom even knows why. She tried asking once, it didn't go over so well.

But that's when two and two click together into a four in her head - a bright idea. Actually, 'dim' would be better. Nothing bright is welcome within her proximity with the splitting headache she's nursing.

Without a second thought, she blurts out: "What's so wrong with having my boyfriend take me home after a party?"

Her words ring out like a gunshot in the quiet house. Yet they are nothing in comparison to the explosion of her mother's anger in response.

Colby's mouth is hanging open, his gaze piercing through more so than focusing on his friend.

She, on the other hand, is sweating bullets, anxiously waiting for him to say something and break the long silence that has fallen upon them. When he doesn't, she wills herself to whisper a mousy little "I'm sorry."

Finally, a voice leaves his parted lips: "Y/N, you're fucking insane."

[inquisimail]

dai love interests' letters to the inquisitor in veilguard, if anyone was curious to see them. transcriptions in alt text & under cut

Amatus,

I'm writing. Again. Yes, the sending crystals still work and yes, you'll be in Minrathous in a few short weeks. But a letter, written in blind longing, is real. It can be touched, and it can be held, when ink and paper must substitute for your skin on mine and my breath in your ear.

I used to scoff at frequent declarations of affection. Trite, I thought. Save them for rare and precious moments. But time and love are no longer things I care to squander, especially not as we race again toward calamity. And so, in each of these fleeting, ephemeral seconds, I will tell you that I love you. Whether penned or spoken, or conveyed by glance or action, I love you. In this moment, and in all the moments to come, for as long as they do, I love you.

I will find you soon.

Yours, Dorian

---

My love,

You have summoned me to Minrathous, and I will answer your call, as soon as responsibilities here in the South allow. I have missed being by your side.

Will these troubles be the last we face? The world seems always to conspire, through duty or disaster, to pull you away from me. I do not resent it. You are dedicated to purposes far larger and more significant than myself. I hope you do not think me a fool for hoping that one day, your only concern will be the color you wish our walls to be painted, or the flowers we will plant beside our gate. I'm partial to carnations.

Yours always, Thom

---

My love,

We are no strangers to duty, or the separation it demands of us. You head for Tevinter, and though I want to go with you, there is work we both must do. I will not falter in the tasks that wait before me and I pray my actions, in whatever measure they can, will keep you safe.

The others see only confidence in my resolve, but you have always known more than mere appearance. I confess to you, and you alone, that I am afraid. I'm afraid of what may happen, that Thedas will face such turmoil as it did before. I know not what awaits us. Yet even in the face of uncertainty, there are two things I cannot doubt and never will. The first is that our paths are never separated long. That I will find you at my side when I need you, as you will find me at yours. I will play my part in this and follow as soon as I can.

The second thing I never doubt is you. Whatever lies before you, trust yourself. Trust your heart as I trust it. It will not lead you astray.

Yours, Cassandra

---

Hey, Kadan,

Not the first time we've marched toward different battles. I know you're keeping the crap from catching fire up in Tevinter. Wish I could be there, but I'll make sure there's a world for you to come back to when you're done dealing with crazy vints and stupid Antaam and whatever other crap Solas kicked up. (Shit, the Antaam. Remember when I was worried what would happen if I went tal-vashoth? That right there!)

I know you're gonna be careful, and you've got Morrigan there. Just take care of yourself. If anything happens to you, I'm going to have to take Krem and the Chargers and stomp across all of Tevinter to come get you. It'll be a whole thing, and you know it'll upset Dorian.

Being apart from you made me realize something else. I spent so long being whatever the Ben-Hassrath wanted me to be. An investigator. An agent. A mercenary sending reports. These past years, since the Inquisition ended, I've been able to be just what I want to be.

And what I really want to be is yours. I like the person I am when I'm with you.

So come back safe.

Love, The signature appears to be a stylized rendering of the Iron Bull's head.

---

(An artistically doodled journal page presumably from the Inquisitor's partner, Sera.)

Keep this as close as I need you. (A drawing of a pile of flowers, with lines like it's moving, an arrow pointing to it labeled "us.")

North again, Mini-wrathus still stuck up its own pucker.

Magiturds are scared of us. They don't even know.

We work with Maevaris, right? She's wow.

So many Friends! Jennies in all the walls!

We kill him this time. He took from us twice! (A drawing of a cracked egg scribbled out, with "can't even joke" in letters that tore the page.)

Still thinking of you sideways.

Never mind the Dalish, here's the Veil Jumpers! Tempest-kin! (A drawing of a tall, shorthaired elf (Sera?) and Irelin brandishing two fingers, backflipping as a tree explodes in runes.)

The memory thing makes my head spin. If that Rook doesn't take it, throw it out.

Tell Morrigan ppbbth! for me.

I'll also tell her ppbbth! She knows why.

Tell them to Stripe. Him. Up. I wanted more books. (More heavy scribbles that tear.)

You meet; I'll keep you safe. Then I'm your time off, and you're my time on.

(The last section has different colored inks, like Sera has returned to it several times.)

New naked names: -Sweet-tits (scribbled out) -Bestest (scribbled out) -Loverly (scribbled out) -Lovey (scribbled out) -My-for-always-and-ever - name's not too long, time's too short. -But "Sweet-tits," though (scribbled out)

---

The top of the letter has been punctured by small, sharp teeth, leaving most of a beloved name and a few sentences too chewed to read.

I fear the puppy started on this letter shortly after I did. I'd start over, but I must send this tonight if it's to reach you. Matters are settled here and I make for Tevinter as soon as possible.

I almost believed chaos might spare us this time. I can't say I wished to see Minrathous before now, but I am eager to see you. I long to see your face and know that you're all right. You are— I've— There's— I wish that I was better at putting into writing all that's in my mind. For now, simply know that I love you. It is the most cherished constant of my life.

The days ahead will not be easy. I know there's much you carry, more than many realize. But whatever you must face, you will not meet it alone. You have my sword, my counsel, my—I could write this list forever when all I mean to say is this—

Whatever you need of me, I am yours.

Cullen

---

My Dearest Lady, / My Dearest Lord,

I have spoken to friends in Minrathous. They offer us their hospitality, not to mention shelter from the worst intrigues of the Archon's Palace. While you're well acquainted with the roving eyes of grand courts, please take care. Tevinter's regard can be the oldest and cruelest of them all.

The family writes the weather back home is beautiful. I do miss our quiet times together.

There is a question I've wanted to ask you for so long. I would like to pretend I have been busy, or it was not the proper time. But, if I am being honest, I only waited because I have been afraid of choosing a poor moment. Please, let me make a promise to you here.

When we return to Antiva, I will ask you, on the steps of the estate, if you will do me a great honor. And I dream you will say yes.

Always yours, Josephine

Postscript: I cannot believe it nearly slipped my mind. Yvette and Lord Otranto send their best wishes, and hope to see us back home in time to welcome their third child.

[solarmorrigan]

Actually infertile omega!Steve for the WIP ask thing

Y'know what, you're the only person who's asked about this and this has been sitting in my drafts for months and I don't think I'm ever going to develop it past this point, so! I'm just gonna give you the whole thing

Fair warning, I did write this in the midst of an anxiety attack sometime after one in the morning. It's been edited! But that's pretty much the vibe

[CW: ableism, internalized ableism, uh... sexism? is that a thing I need to warn for in omegaverse? I dunno, it pretty closely mirrors real-world misogynistic views, so heads up]

-

Give me omega Steve who genuinely will never be able to have children. Who is tentatively excited after the Upside Down and Vecna and everything to get out from under his parents' influence and stop taking the harsh, heavy-duty suppressants that he was too young to have ever really been on in the first place and to get to actually be who he is. To get to freely express his designation

And instead he finds out that his body is fucked up and he'll never have a normal fertility cycle and he'll never be able to have kids

Give me Steve being told by a shitty, prejudiced doctor that it's basically all his fault for all the damage he's done to his own body over the years - the head injuries, the broken bones, the mysterious flesh wounds. Clearly these things upset the balance of his Delicate Omega Body and that's why his reproductive system is all fucked up (couldn't possibly have been the extended use of those suppressant drugs during his developmental years, oh no)

And Steve isn't exactly devastated at first, but he does feel ashamed. He only admits what's happened to Robin and no one else, and no matter how indignant she gets on his behalf, no matter how hard she tries to push him to get a second opinion, he refuses. He doesn't want to hear how bad he's fucked up from anyone else, thank you very much

The devastation dawns on him later, in stages. It occurs to him slowly what he'll never be able to do, the ways in which he'll always be othered by a society that often still values omegas for their fertility, the way his dream of a big family has been completely shattered

And it occurs to him that he'll never be considered a good mate, damaged in so many ways, unable to even offer children in exchange for whatever other shortcomings he has - which means that as soon as Eddie starts showing interest in him, he has to shut it down as quickly as possible

Because of course Eddie's going to want a family one day, and Steve thinks he'll be a great alpha and a great dad, and he deserves that - he deserves someone who can give him that, who can give him all the things A Good Omega should. So no matter how much Steve wants to be with Eddie, no matter how safe and at ease he feels around him, he can't let Eddie think he's a viable option, and pulls away

And Eddie - well, look, if Steve really doesn't want him, then he'll respect that. He can take no for an answer. But Steve has never really given him a clear no so much as he just started distancing himself. Making himself unavailable, no longer sitting next to Eddie when the whole group hangs out, no longer unconsciously curling into his side on movie nights, just - ghosting, essentially. And that, Eddie will not take

So he confronts Steve; he's not aggressive about it, of course, but he makes it clear that he's not leaving until he gets a straight answer. Tells Steve he's been getting some real mixed signals, and does he want Eddie or not?

Steve says Eddie doesn't want him. Eddie calls bullshit. Of course he wants Steve, he's never wanted anything, anyone, in his life like he wants Steve

But if Steve can look Eddie in the eye and tell him that he doesn't want to be with Eddie, then Eddie will go

And Steve - he's never been a good liar. Not when it comes to feelings. He's never been able to lie about that, so he breaks down and admits the truth, instead: he's a fucked up excuse for an omega, he can't have kids, he doesn't really even know how to do the social shit omegas are supposed to know how to do, so. There. So Eddie shouldn't want him

And Eddie is horrified. Not because Steve is "broken," but because of all the hurt he's taken on over the years, because of the way he seems to think it's all his fault, because he thinks his only worth as a mate is in bearing kids or caring for others. As if anything like that would put Eddie off - as if Steve has nothing else to offer

It's a slow process, after that, getting Steve to accept that he's desirable for who he is and not what he can do

It starts with Robin and Eddie teaming up on Steve and eventually getting him to go to another doctor, a better doctor, who promises Steve that what happened to his system is in no way his fault. It goes on with constant reassurance, which Eddie never minds providing (dramatic little shit honestly loves the opportunity to wax rhapsodic about whatever he loves, which very much includes Steve), with an unconditional acceptance from the rest of the group, with the realization that Steve already has a big family (and multiple children; like, seriously. how did he miss that. Eddie loves to tease him about it)

And eventually, when they're ready, it goes on still with the promise that they can adopt, or consider surrogacy, or just kidnap their friends' pups (Steve laughs at the last one, but Eddie notices that he doesn't say no). There is no right way to do it, no perfect way; as long as Steve just keeps being himself, Eddie will never be disappointed

[tragicvampireromanceisland]

some snippets from the current joyness fic i've been hammering away at 🤭!! i'm expecting the entire thing to clock in between 16 to 18k words so i am sharing just a few bits on account of I Am Impatient. chose ones that are probably the easiest to read out of context lol. alt text under the cut 👍🏾

Snippet 1:

"Well, I just...I was thinking...Joy, do we even deserve to go to Dream Productions?"

Joy's smile shrinks a bit at that. Oh. She didn't like Dream Productions? Well—given how many night shifts they'd shared together (Yep! Anxiety had said. According to the numbers, Sadness only ever shares Dream Duty with you. Uhh...what did you need this for again, Joy?), she figured Sadness would be just as excited...well, maybe everyone else complaining just got to her or something, that's fine, Joy could fix that—

"—Aw, Sadness, look—I promise the vibe's gonna change as soon as we get there! Sure, everyone's been a little crabby, but the car's just a little crammed and the road's just a liiittle bumpy from all the new puberty construction projects—they just need that to wear off a bit! Pluuus, the song's already been helping a lot—here, do you wanna sing along? Eighty-three mem—"

"—No, Joy, like...do we deserve it?"­­

And when Joy frowns at her, confused, she places her hand on top of the one Joy's been restlessly drumming against the seat this whole ride, and goes

"Us?"

Now it's Joy's turn for her face to heat up, apparently. "Wha—" she chokes on that, then shakes her head. "Uh." She looks down at their hands. "Haah?"

Wait—did Sadness actually find out why Joy chose Dream Productions? Well, other than the whole spiel of Yeah, sorry, guys, I did call Imagination Land, and yeah, turns out they're just not letting any visitors in right now—which, aghhh, dagnabit, you know? I'm just as heartbroken as you are that we can't see��� eugh—Mount Crushmore, but make do with what you can, right?

"Oh! Uh—welll," she tries again, hoping to play it smooth, "why wouldn't...weeee?" she stretches the word out and winks.

"Um." Sadness just stares blankly back at her. "Well, 'cause we made such a mess last time..."

Snippet 2:

"Whaaat? It's not like I need some big plan! It's—come on, it's Sadness! I spend a lot of time with her already! And besides, it's not like I haven't been patient so far! Like—I know she likes me! She just gets real shy about it! And, well—heheheh, iiiit's kinda cute, you know—? But—" she shakes her head, cheeks growing hot as Disgust raises an eyebrow at that. —Anyways, she just...needs the right moment to be comfortable with it! You know?"

When Disgust frowns this time as she considers that, it looks a bit less judgy than usual. Well—sure, it's still kind of judgy—come on, it's Disgust—but she looks more confused than anything.

"Uhhh, what, so you're telling me that you're—" she points at Joy for emphasis, "—being patient?"And then her face twists into a smirk again."Joy, it’s been months since you told me something was up. I've never seen you be this patient about anything in your life."

"Wha—not true!" Joy shoots back, even though she knows Disgust is just riling her up on purpose at this point. As much as Joy loved teasing her (come on, easy target. All Joy had to do was mention broccoli or boogers and s­he'd all but completely lose it), she was always the one emotion who'd actually, on rare occasions, tease Joy back. And she always managed to say just the right things to get under Joy's skin when she did. Which—well, she guesses it's sweet or something, that they're good enough friends for Disgust to do that, but excuse her if it's a bit hard to get fond over that while her good friend is busy snickering at her.

"Ugh. Whatever," she grumbles. And that only seems to fuel Disgust's satisfaction further, so Joy shakes her head and goes back to smiling. "Okay, fine, yeah! Maybe I'm being a little bit more patient than usual. But that's 'cause Sadness...needs that, you know? And besides, all that dancing around each other's gonna end tonight! Wiiith all of this!" Joy spreads her arms out. "A little change of setting, something special! And, well, considering we're probably the only two out of any of us who actually like Dream Duty, I obviously chose the right place—"

"—So you did lie to us about Imagination Land."

"Uh—" Joy stops short, then chuckles nervously. "Welllll, I know how much you love keeping secrets, so maybeee if you just kept that fun little one between you and me—"

Snippet 3:

Joy reaches back to yank Sadness right up to the front of the door with her. She manages to peer in and catch a glimpse of the rest of her friends watching one of the sets get dressed—but then she gets the door slammed shut on her. She groans.

"Okay, but—there's no way that we're banned! Everyone else got in just fine!"

"Well, frankly, I don't know who thought it was okay for them to get a tour, either. Serves me right for letting the new hires work the call desks. You emotions just think you're all that, huh?" Joy blinks, bewildered, as the Mind Worker jabs a finger at her chest and narrows her eyes. "That orange one's already on thin ice. The sheer level of entitlement to give me her stupid notebook about how she thinks I should run my studio—and now she's trying to spread those pages around to everyone else in there like it's some manifesto—"

"—Ahhh, yeah—Anxiety's...Anxiety's like that," Joy mutters, "buuuut just let us in, and we'll fix that right up!"

Joy winks at Sadness and splits into a grin as the Mind Worker smiles back at the both of them—and then it falters halfway through as she hears the sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Ohh, sure, right away! Since you two are so great at fixing things, huh? Yep, okay—lemme just pop right over to Administration and toss out your charges for trespassing, disorderly conduct, breaking and entering, destruction of studio property, deliberate dream interference, unlawful release of Subconscious wildlife, and reckless endangerment by clown!" She gulps in a breath of air after running through all of those at once and then scowls. "That last one's new, you know—we had to come up with an entirely new charge just because you two decided to screw up in a way no one's ever screwed up before!"

Joy winces as she feels Sadness shuffle to hide behind her and whimper. She's not taking too kindly to being yelled at. Joy grimaces.

"Umm, so what you're basically saying iiiis, we're special?"

"Out."

Snippet 4:

The world doesn't quite fade away this time; Joy's still painfully aware of the unintelligible chatter flooding through the halls, the bitter smell of coffee wafting past as drink trays get rushed back and forth. The way the crate is leaned up against the wall, the dream posters look like they're looming right over them when Joy looks up, gigantic and skewed. And when she feels Sadness rest her hand lightly on her arm, Joy feels both giddy and a little smug. Of course this was working! All Sadness needed was a little push—Disgust should've never doubted her. So Joy smiles to herself—then smiles down at Sadness, leans in, and—

"Oh, Joy, this is so sad..."

Joy reels back as Sadness pats her on the arm. "Uh. What?"

"Well, all the dreams are changing..." She sighs and looks back at the wall. The red light from the COMING SOON sign flashing right above the newer posters seems to find its way down to them, somehow. Joy watches as it glints against Sadness' glasses. "And they've torn down your favorite one already..."

Joy slumps a little at that and sighs. Leave it to Sadness to find a problem that wasn't even hers to get miserable over. She rolls her eyes as she nudges Sadness on the shoulder.

"Alright, maybe it's a bit of a bummer, but so what? Pfff, it's not like you liked Fairy Dream Adventure that much," she says with a snort. "You don't have to cry about it."

Sadness rubs at her eyes, the beginnings of her tears falling down her cheeks. "But...but you did...and you cared about it, so...so, if you care about it, then I care about it, and if it makes you sad, it makes me sad..."

"O—Oh," Joy says softly, heat flooding her face. She actually has to look away for a minute at that, stare down at her feet dangling over the crate's edge. Leave it to Sadness to just say the sweetest thing in the world to her like it's nothing.

[mayasaurusss]

Chapter one: Old tales.

Warnings: midly detailed description of wounds, not totally proof-read, gramamtical errors.

A/n: I'm really really scared to publish this (I'm shttng myself). The title is not really for my liking, maybe I will change it. English is not my native language so there may be some errors. Words: 4k and 500

"...will replace number eleven, Allie, after her accidental injury due to breaking her leg during practice" you heard coach Ben's words, but didn't fully register them yet.

Mere days have passed since Allie broke her leg, or to be exact, her leg was broken by Taissa.

When Allie broke her leg, you were on the bench, having had to swap with her during practice. You were relaxing, enjoying the sun when Misty walked over to you and started rambling about the most random things she could say, something about a philosopher, Misty was Misty after all. You weren’t really sure on how to even talk to her, so you just stayed silent, nodding sometimes while she talked, but your mind didn’t register anything of what she said. Misty-trance was so strong that, at first, you didn’t hear Allie screaming in agony. Your mind went into panic mode only when Misty bolted from her seat next to you to the green field: from your position on the bench you couldn’t see it but as you got closer to the scene, you saw Allie clenching her leg, her bone sticking out, pure white contrasting with the deep red of her flesh.

"... did you hear me?" you hear your name begin called, you peered at coach Ben.

"...What?"

"I asked if you'd like to replace Allie as the winger for the Nationals," coach repeated himself.

"Sure..." your voice was small, truth to be told, you weren't sure of this decision.

You weren't that brilliant as a player, certainly not that better than Allie, but at least you could fulfill your duty pretty well, you just weren't that certain you could perform well in such a big game. And, you weren’t exactly the most loved player of the team.

When you looked up, you could see all your teammates look at you weirdly, judging you and your absent demeanor.

"Despite what happened to Allie, we're gonna go to the Nationals, we're going to go and we're going to win, all right?" Ben said to the team, not receiving a response.

"All right?"

"Yes coach" the team responded in unison.

You gathered your things, heading out of the changing room when Shauna approached.

"Hey, are you all right? You seemed a bit shaken up before" Shuna Shipman was one of the few people in the team that talked to you, you used to be more of a loner but she and Jackie too, sometimes involved you in their conversation, you didn’t know if they did it out of pity or real interest.

"I am ok, I think. I'm just scared that I'm not gonna live up to the team's expectations, that's all".

Shauna smiled at you, "You're going to be great, don't worry, you'll just have to think you're playing during one of our practices".

"Thanks Shauna" she could always be kind, though her eyes were so deep and dark you felt lost looking at them, making you feel little and scared.

"The team will go to a party today to celebrate our success, are you going to come?" she asked.

"I don't know, I think I'm going to go back home tonight so I can spend the last night with my parents" you answered Shauna, you knew from deep down that as soon as you said that, you doomed yourself to 'unsocial girl' of the group.

“I see…” Shauna’s gaze felt heavy on you.

“Well, I’m gonna go” you slumped your bag over your shoulder and bid goodbye to Shauna, getting out of the changing room.

Rain pours heavily, pooling at your feet and wetting every inch of you, your shoes sink in cold puddles and your skin feels uncomfortably damp. 

You had been walking for half an hour, being that your home was in the outskirts of Wiskayok and the bus hadn’t yet come, your best chance was walking to another bus stop and waiting there; walking under the rain had proved to be more challenging than you thought, especially when the wet asphalt made you slip. 

At last you arrived at the bus stop and shielded yourself from the heavy rain. You sat on the bench, waiting for the bus which  had to come in a few minutes now, so preoccupied with trying not to slip and break a bone you had almost lost track of time and missed the bus.

You hold your face in yout hands, retaking in the events of the day and wishing Allie wouldn’t have broken her leg: you couldn’t perform well under pressure at all, you remeber once when you had to perform a penalty shoot during pratice and failed miserably, while all of the team watched you. The thought of people watching, watching you inevitably fail made you recoil in fear. 

A sudden noise interrupted your thoughts, something moved just inches away from you, hiding in the corner of the bus stop. You couldn’t make it out in the darkness, but your ears picked up on the fact that whatever it was small or certainly small enough for you to defend yourself. You jolted up, arms at your side tightening and muscles moving under the skin, ready to flight at any second. 

A ruff of red puffed out from the shadows, followed by a movement, whatever it was was now turning on you, having heard your noises. Two pairs of golden eyes peered at you from under the dark, studying your form and stance; maybe it was scared of you too. Slowly, ever so slowly, from the dark corner a fox appeared: it was bigger than you imagined, it was as tall as half of your leg, red and orange and white shades coloured its fur. It looked soft, the kind of fur that shielded from the cold winds of winter, a thin layer of what seemed to look like snow heaved on the tip of its coat and nose, tinting it white. Golden eyes reflected the dim street lights, giving it an eerie human look. It didn’t seem malicious, but there certainly was something unnerving in its presence.

“There shouldn't be any snow on you, it’s raining…” your voice was small, almost muffled, like sound and time stopped right here, under the roof of the bus stop. 

It continued to watch you, you, you, you in the eyes, your face, how you were. For a small second, you felt tightly connected with it.

Something talked, you didn’t know if it was your brain, your subconscious or the fox magically knew how to telepathically communicate with you but you heard thousand of tree whispers and thousand of voices reunited and combined to talk to you, to say “Come”.

Your skin freezed, blood running cold in your veins and feeling like it dripped from your fingers onto the floor. Goosebumps fell down your spine and in your mouth flooded the taste of blood, you had bit your tongue in fear.  

The fox watched you, puffing its chest and with hurry, ran behind the bus stop into the dark woods. You didn't know what compelled you to do it, but you followed it, cornering around the stop expecting to see it waiting for you at the line of the trees, but you found nothing staring at you beside the darkness. 

Lights shined through the rain, finally the bus had come. With newfound energy, you sprinted in it and almost tumbled over, making the driver eye you in confusion. You searched for a seat, finding it in the middle of the bus. You were still shaken up, not by the fact that you encountered a possibly dangerous wild animal, but at the fact that something talked clearly at you. Arms wrapping themselves you didn't fail to notice a small pair of golden eyes watching you from the darkness and as the bus moved, you lost sight of them.

“Come”.

“Mhm…no”

Shauna moves back to the clothes, changing once again her dress.

"You know, there’s Randy tonight at the party”. 

Huh? Why did she brought up Randy? I don't care about him.

“...ok” Shauna once again changed, once again she received the same response from her best friend.

“He asked Jeff to ask me if you’re gonna be there”

“Randy? Really?”

“What? I just thought you wanted to know if someone asked about you”

Wow, ok.

“Shauna, just put on the red dress I gave you”

Am I your dress-up doll Jackie?

“Maybe I don’t want to wear the red dress, and I’m sure as hell I don’t want to hook up with Randy -fucking- Walsh!”

Why can’t you see me? I don’t want to be with Randy, I want…

Jackie was taken back from Shauna's sudden outburst “Jeez, what crawled up your ass? Just put on whatever you want…”

“Thanks, I will”

The room filled with uncomfortable silence. Jackie felt like she just managed to ruin the night for both her and Shauna.

“...You’re probably right about Randy, you know? I once saw him having trouble with an escalator” 

Shauna cracked a smile, even in the most dire situations Jackie never failed to make her laugh “I once heard him ask who invented the Pope”.

Around 9 a.m, most of the soccer team arrived. There was a faint smell of earth in the air, covered by the smell of booze and fire. 

Shauna had followed after Jackie, just like the shadow Jackie wanted her to be -or did she want to be Jackie’s shadow?- she stood out among the other girl friends, she knew she didn’t belong here. 

Shauna stopped Jackie from dancing with her, her stomach clenching “Wait, l need a second” without waiting for a response, she walked away and Jackie did not bother following her. 

Shauna leaned against a pickup, watching Jackie in the distance.

To her, in that instant, while she was enjoying her night with her friends she looked ethereal. Shauna could not understand if she wanted to be with Jackie, if she wanted to be Jackie or if she wanted to consume her. Shauna can’t understand if what she’s feeling is longing, loneliness or anger, anger towards Jackie, for not spending time with her, for not begin with her. Shauna chugged down the alcohol burning her throat. Her emotions were too much, she had to go away, to get away from Jackie,  it didn’t help that behind her Randy fucking Walsh was drunk off his ass and bothering her. 

She had to release her pent up energy, -she had to get Jackie’s attention- , so she walked to where Taissa was, willing to start a fight.

“I admire your resilience Tai” Shauna’s voice was bitter, deliberately trying to get Tai angry and argue with her.  “It can’t be easy, knowing you fucking crippled someone today”

“Cool, good talk”. A vein in Shauna’s head pulsed “Just admit you did it on purpose” she yelled, “Excuse me?”

Away from her, Laura Lee recognized her teammates voices, she saw Taissa and Shauna talk to each other.

“Woah, calm down”

“No, listen you guys, we don't have to worry about the ‘Allie problem’ anymore because Taissa fixed it for us!”

Laura Lee walked over to the scene, leaning near Natalie “What is she talking about?” she asked. 

“She’s talking about Taissa having a plan”

Taissa visibly rolled her eyes at their exchange “Oh please, since when do you give a shit anyway? Don’t you have a bong to hit or a dick to suck?”

“Don’t talk to her that way”

“Fuck off Shauna! I don’t need you to defend me! Last time I checked you were fine with ‘freezing her out’”

“Ok, seriously, what are you guys talking about?”

“Shut the fuck up, Laura Lee!”

The atmosphere got heated, both Taissa and Shuna were too stubborn to let the other one ‘win the fight’ .

“Somebody needs to take her wasted ass home”

“Say that again you bitch!”. A fight broke between the group, everyone screaming their asses off.

“Enough!” Jackie screamed, the others hushed.  Everyone was watching the group, all the eyes of the party on them.

“Yellowjackets, with me!” Jackie said, leading the group to a secluded space.

“I don’t know what the fuck that was, but I do know it’s over”  Shauna shifted uncomfortably under Jackie’s gaze.

“We are about to go to Nationals, and based on what I’m looking at right now, we might not even bother getting on that plane” the underlying message wasn’t missed by the team: they weren’t close enough, they weren’t ready enough.

“Alright, everybody line up. I’m fucking serious, line up, come on!” The girls lined up one near the other, waiting for Jackie’ orders “I wan’t each of you to go down this line and say one nice, true thing about every other girl on this team”

“What is this, fucking girl scout?” Taissa's annoyed voice whispered to Van. “Who wants to go first?” Jackie asked. Laura Lee smiled “I’ll go Jackie”

She walked over to Taissa, looked her in the eyes and took her hands in hers, “Taissa, you’re beautiful in the eyes of our Lord” making Taissa smile -maybe more like trying to hold her laugh-. Laura Lee moved to Van, repeating herself when she was interrupted, everyone laughing. Everyone in the group moved, going to ‘say something nice and true’ to their teammates.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier” Shauna said to Tai, dark eyes burning a hole in Tai’s skin. Taissa looked at Shauna, voice unsure and laced with regret “I didn’t -you know- mean to…hurt her” 

“...ok” 

Laura Lee walked to Lottie, her hands rubbing nervously: sometimes Lottie made her tense. She didn’t know if it was out of fear or respect for the girl, or if it was some sort of other emotion plaguing her heart.  With a bit of uncertainty, Laura Lee looked up at her teammate, “Lottie, you’re really tall, you are one of the best players in the team, and I  admire your strength. And, you're beautiful in our Lord's eyes”. Lottie just smiled, that smile that reassured Laura Lee that everything would be fine “Laura Lee, you have a beautiful soul and you are a great friend. I admire your devotion” Lottie said.

“Thanks, really. Wouldn’t you want to spend some words for Y/n?”

Suddenly, Lottie’s voice got sour, her brown knitted together  “Why would I want that? It’s not like she’s here, no?”

Laura Lee knew that by how Lottie reacted, she had unknowingly pushed something inside her: Lottie had tried and failed to be friends with the other girl, but the -Operation: become friends- had failed on both ends because of Lottie stubbornness (and secret shyness) and the other girl not knowing how to relate herself with others.

“I know it’s just that she’s not really part of our group and I feel bad for her...”

“If she wanted to be part of our group, she would’ve come” Lottie wanted to go away, the air seemed thick now and a faint headache was starting to form. She started to walk away when Laura Lee stopped her, grabbing her arm.

“I understand why you would think so, but I think she's just shy or lonley. Maybe she requires a bit more of work to get her to open up her shell”.  She took Lottie’s hands in hers, rubbing at the skin to soothe the other girl's tension.

“You should aske her to sit next to you on the flight” .

“...alright”.

You stumbled into your home, leaving a wet trail behind you. The house was dark, dark and cold, shadows looming over the corners of the room.

I hope no foxes magically get out of them and make me shit myself, you thought with a bitter smile, still not feeling completly safe.

You called out for your parents but no one answered. Taking your phone out you saw a missed called and a message from your father

“Hey kid, just a heads up, me and your mother are going on a date, we will be home late tonight, in the fridge there’s a leftover pizza. Be safe”.

You sighed, you couldn’t blame this on them really, you knew they had a date and they still didn’t know that you’d be gone to the Nationals soon, besides you still had a few days to spend with them. 

After dinner, you went upstairs to your bedroom. It’s dimly lit, shadows creep in the high corners, making your skin crawl. On the nightstand, an old copy of ‘Grimm’s Tales’ sat, the one that your grandfather gave to you some weeks before passing, when you were just eight. It was meant for children apparently, but it was more like pages of pages of inducing nightmares stories: young women envied by queens, of children in woods being chased by wolves or finding an evil witch house. You were still reading when you fell asleep.

That night you dreamt. You dreamt of thousands of trees, branches tangling with each other so much that you couldn’t see the dark night sky. The woods were silent, fog embraced them and not giving you enough space to see. In the distance a howl echoed out, something that sounded angry, angry and hungry. Your skin crawled, cold shivers running down your spine and without thinking, you ran. 

You ran not knowing where to go, without guidance while the howl got closer and closer, branches scratching at your skin staining it of red. The howl multiplied, as if whatever was chasing you had called its companions. Skin bloodied, lungs burning in pain, eyes watering, sky crashing on you. 

Finally your energies gave out, mouth tasting the dirt beneath you. Something grasped at your body, hands prying you up, someone was holding you to their front, brushing your hair out of their way to your neck. You felt someone biting at your jugular, blood oozing from the open wound. Hands, so many hands touched your skin, clawed at it, brushed your blood away from bruises into the dark surrounding you. Teeth, thousands of teeth clenching your skin, grounding on it, ripping it open, eating like the prey you were, like a fox caught between the jaws of a bear.

You woke up from your nightmare, sweaty and with a heart beating irregularly. 2:02 am. You looked at your book still open in your hands, fingers keeping it open on the middle of 'Red Riding Hood'. Your body fell back on the bed, sleep overcoming once again.  “I really shouldn’t keep on reading these books…” 

On the other side of town, Lottie dreamt too. But hers was a good dream unlike the ones she had the previous weeks. Lottie wouldn't wish anyone to know but she too was scared of playing in the Nationals; the tension is what to her the the woods looked more alive than ever now, she did so much to keep them alive, offered so much of herself to the woods that now they thanked her in return. The voice spoke to her, whispering through the trees, animals and wind and leaves all swirled togheter to create It. 

She wouldn’t give this gift to any one, the times she tried talking about it, talking with her parents, her father got mad and screamed at her mother - “Lottie doesn’t see the future, she’s not normal. We’re taking her to a child psychiatrist”-.

She never understood if he did it out of love or disinterest to have her around. It favored her, this secret is just for her. Before coming to have an audience with it, she had positioned small wooden dolls in a circle, one for each of them.  But they were sad. She couldn’t understand why,

Why are you crying? Yes, it began snowing and it's cold but can’t you hear It? 

Why? Can’t you hear Its voice? 

Can’t you hear the woods?

Finally it was the morning of your flight. You got up at five am, too nervous to go back to sleep and started to recap if you got everything for the trip. At seven am you had eaten breakfast with your parents and bid goodbye to your mom, kissing her on the cheek “Be safe”. 

Your father drew you to the airport, “Are you sure you don’t want me to drop you near the plane? Your bags are heavy”; bless your mother, even if you did pack enough, she just had to help you pack, inevitably heaving you down “Take this sweater if it’s cold, you never know, and these pants, and this shirt, and these…” you had to physically stop her to pack more.

“I think I’m capable of carrying them on my own, I don’t want the other girls to see me as a ‘daddy’s-girl’”.

You got out of the car, grabbed all your bags and walked to the driver seat “Alright then, have you packed enough?” you looked at your father with a look that said ‘seriously?’.

“Fair enough…”

Your dad ruffled your hair, “Call when you get there, ok? Become a champion”. You gave him a corny smile, “Sure dad”.

“Have a safe flight!”, he drove away, you watched as the small car disappeared from your sight then walked to where your teammates were.  When you got there, all the team saw was a make-shift Santa Claus coming to them.

“Heyyy, forgot to pack something? Mommy helped you?” Tai said to you sarcastically. 

“Tai, enough” Van answered, making her friend scoff. The bags hit the floor, you let out a heavy sigh at the action finally free from the weight. “Don't mind her, she's just a bitter asshole”, Taissa scoffed at her friend “Oh fuck off”.

Lottie and Laura Lee were close, watching the exchange between you and Van “Lottie! Come on, go!” she wisphered to her taller friend. Lottie shifted uncomfortably on her legs, hands rubbing together behind her back, she walked to where you were, followed by Laura Lee “Hey…” her called, small and unsure “Hi”.

Lottie wasn’t one to be awkward, most of the time, but confronting you one on one made her feel less confident in herself and

“So, uhm… how are you today?” she cringed at herself. 

"You should ask her to sit next to you on the trip" Laura Lee voice chimed in her head

“Huh…good, I think? How are you?”

“I see, uh, yeah yeah, I’m good too”

Silence fell over you, both not making an effort in trying to make small talk. 

The staff announced that they were ready to leave.

Van chimed near you, draggin you with her “Hey, you want to sit next to me? We should be friends” she playfully said to you.  Laura Lee sighed, “Oh... We'll get to know her once we land” she patted her teammate on the shoulder.

The inside of the plane was modern, everyone was mouth agape.

Van laughed “I’ can’t believe your dad paid for a private plane”

“It’s pretty much his only form of parenting. I guess I’ll take it”

“Well, thank you, Mr Matthews!”

Every girl in the team sat, Van tugged you with her near her seat, you fell between her and the window. 

“So, what do you like?” Van asked, a smile forming on her lips

“W-What?”

“What do you like? As in movies, games, magazines? Is there something you even like?” 

Oh, did she want to sit with me to make fun of me? 

“Uhm… The last movie I got to see in theaters was 'Intervew with the Vampire'...but that was sometime ago ”.

“No way! Really?! Did you go alone?”.

“Yes…”

Her mouth was agape with shock, “Wow, I wouldn’t have your courage, you know? I like those movies -well, I like slashers more- but if I’d see one alone, I have nightmares for weeks” . You smiled and laughed with her, she was trying to make you feel less lonley “The last movies I have seen were ‘Halloween' and ‘Braveheart’”.

“What’s that last one about?”

“A drag queen fights the English army”.

“What?!” you laughed wholeheartedly with Van, she was holding your arm in a subtle effort to include you more and more into this conversation.  “You know, there’s this movie that's supposed to come out in december, it’s called ‘Scream’ and it’s supposedly a slasher, I can’t wait to see it. I’m gonna need someone to keep me company though, I'm not really that brave”.

You looked at her “Whit who?” asked, “Maybe you, maybe Taissa”.

“Ohhhh, I see”

She playfully shoved you, “What do you ‘see’, moron?”.

After a while of talking, your eyelids started to get heavier, begging you to take just a tiny nap.  “I think I’m going to sleep for a bit, I’ve woken up so early today…”

“Sure, I’ll wake you up when we got there”. You closed your eyes, sleep overcame you faster than you expected.

You were hungry, you finally managed to catch dinner after a while of running and biting and howling in the woods, she fell so dumbly into the trap, you wouldn’t ever die like this if you were in her position.  Blood runs down to earth, tinting the snow red.  She was so stupid to get caught.  The queen had made you wait, telling you that a meal is far more filling when you are patient. But you had been patient for oh so long, always grumbling and biting at your own flesh to keep your hunger at bay. 

When the queen nodded, all moved to the dinner plate like hawks, bit and ripped and grounded the meat under their teeth, surrounded by the flickering lights of the torches. If one doesn't think too much of it, this was just like the holidays you used to have once, food and lights. After all, a family's most intimate moment is at the dinner table. None was left of her.  It was still watching you. 

Scream erupted from the deep woods, you looked at the trees, your hair disheveld, face dirty , a trail of blood running down on the right side and dripping from the chin. 

You woke up from your haze, screaming filled the plane. “Van?! Van, what’s happening?!” Van is desperately trying to get out something from the ceiling above you , punching and screaming while everyone around you was either hugging each other, passed out or panicking. You felt your fingers weakening, trying to help Van and failing to get out the oxygen masks, dizziness overcame your senses, breathing erratic, goosebumps on your skin, eyelids heavy.

Lottie took your hand, ushering you gently to follow her, “Come on”.

You felt something hot travel up on your arm.

“It’s time to go”.

What’s happening?

Green trees are getting closer, your eyes roll to the back of your head and you lose yourself.

“We have to hunt”.

Am I going to die?

“We have to eat”

I don’t want to die!

“Is the meat cooked well enough, dear?” 

Mom?

The plane is crashing.

“Did you liked dinner?”

L-Lottie?

You can't breathe.

Help me!

A voice called out to you in thousands of whispers. 

“Come”. 

[pinkypromisepascal]

A story request when hopper is your dad best friend and you like each other, thank youu

𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 (𝚍𝚋𝚏!𝙷𝚘𝚙 𝚡 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

summary: You're home from college and Hop's over for dinner. You realize you can't get your dad's best friend out of your head.

content: some sexual tension (MDNI), age gap (reader's in her 20s, Hop's like 40), and some curse words 'cause I can't live without them

word count: 3.9k

author's note: don't get me started on how long I took for this. This was actually 6.9k words, but I split it into two parts (and I got even more planned AHHH). Also, this is set pre-season one. Anon, I am so sorry I took so long for this, I hope you remember this request and like how it turned out!

and thanks to @strang3lov3 for helping me work on this, don't know what I'd do without you!

part two!

________________________________________________________

You were on summer break from college, finally visiting your parents again. You loved living in a bigger city, but you also loved Hawkins every time you visited. The small town just seemed so calm, so unwinding. Plus, staying with your parents always guaranteed a fun time, they were always trying to make the best of your stay.

The sun was gonna set soon as you drove into Hawkins, the temperature was comfortably warm, allowing you to dress in one of your favorite summer dresses.

Your dad was already out on the porch of your small house, a bottle of beer in his hand and a wide smile on his lips as you pulled up the driveway in your car.

“Hey, sunshine!”, he called as you stepped out, lifting himself off the porch stairs and approaching you with spread arms.

You hugged him happily and rubbed his back.

“I see you’ve started celebrating without me.”, you giggled, nodding to the beer bottle.

“Oh, well, Mom and I were just so happy you’re coming by -” You chuckled at that, “I’m joking, I don’t care when you start drinking. As long as it’s not that good whisky you bought, I’d be mad if you started that without me.” Your dad raised his hands in defense, “I would never, sunshine, y’know that. Oh by the way, totally forgot to tell ya, but Hop’s coming over tonight as well. Told him about our barbecue plans and thought he’d have a good time with us.”

You stopped in your tracks to the trunk and cocked an eyebrow at your dad. “Jim Hopper? Huh, haven’t seen him in a while. Still Chief of Police?” Your dad nodded with a smile. 

“Still drinking on duty?”, you asked with a cocky grin. 

He laughed at that and shrugged, “You’ll have to ask him that yourself, I won’t be the telltale here.” You shook your head with a smile and unloaded your trunk, handing your dad the small suitcase.

As you entered the house, you could already smell the food that was gonna be served soon.

You sighed happily as you took the scent of your mom’s salad in, “I really miss this smell sometimes when I’m in college.”

You placed your backpack on the couch and went to your mom, who was standing in the kitchen, cutting up vegetables. You greeted her softly and hugged her. “Good to see you, sweetie, how are you? How’s college going for you? Anything fun happen outside of college? Anything romantic?” 

You smiled at her and scrunched your nose, avoiding her last question, “Eh, it’s stressful, got some papers that I need to work on, but it’s still fun. Need some help with the food?”

You internally cringed; talking about romantic topics was the last thing you could use at the moment. It wasn’t like there would be much to talk about anyway.

Your mom waved a hand at you with a smile, “I’m good, you can just sit down and grab a drink to cool off a little.” 

“I will, just gonna get my stuff to my room real quick.”

You returned a minute later, your father handing you a bottle of beer with a questioning look. You grabbed the drink with a smile and took a swig before getting plates and cutlery from the kitchen and taking them outside to set the table. Your mom jokingly scolded you for that, but you just waved her off with a grin.

You enjoyed the light breeze outside, the warm summer air gently brushing your hair out of your face. As you ordered the plates, you heard some commotion from inside. 

You finished your task and stepped back inside, your eyes instantly locking with the blue ones of Chief Jim Hopper who was standing next to your dad.

“Evening, Chief.”, you chimed in and watched his lips twist into a smirk. 

“Hey there.”, he responded as he took his hat off and held it in his hands. You noticed that he was still in uniform. He probably came over here right from work.

“Like the uniform.”, you smiled as you pointed at it, “Makes you look all serious.”

Jim chuckled, “So I don’t look serious when I’m not in uniform?”

You raised your arms in a defensive gesture and walked over to your mum who was almost done with preparing the food.

“No comment on that, Chief. Don’t wanna get arrested.”, you joked. You briefly glanced over to him to see him smiling warmly at you again.

You felt your heart skip a beat and cleared your throat, turning to your mother to help her carry the salad and the bread outside.

At first, you were a little unsure how the mood at dinner would be when your dad told you Hopper would be joining you. You didn’t have anything against him, you just never really felt like you could read him, and that bothered you sometimes.

He always seemed so serious, stoic almost, although he and your dad were pretty chatty with each other, just like today.

You glanced over to Hop, who was sitting right across you, as he talked to your parents. He looked more relaxed than you remembered. Maybe it was his third beer slowly letting him loose the serious demeanor.

You kept looking at him, observing him. You looked at his right hand that was holding the bottle on the table, noticing that his middle finger was drawing small circles on it. It was probably an unconscious habit, and you couldn’t help but find it somewhat adorable.

As you smiled to yourself, you noticed his gaze shifting to you. You looked into his blue eyes and your heart skipped a beat again.

*Since when did you find him so attractive?

Was that just the uniform?*

His look made you feel like he was expecting your answer to something. Your eyes widened. Had you zoned out that bad over watching him?

“Sorry, what?”, you asked, trying to play it off with a grin, noticing your parents were looking at you as well. 

“We were just talking about your college life.”, your mom smiled as she patted your hair, a gesture she hadn’t shaken off ever since you were a kid. It still sent a warm flush across your face, it made you feel safe.

“You alright? You’ve been quiet since we’ve been out here.”, your dad asked with a smile, not too concerned that something was really bothering you. 

“Yeah, no, I’m good, just a little tired, that’s all.”, you replied. 

You were hoping your parents would go back to their conversation again, but that hope was shattered when Hopper asked you how you liked college. 

You took a deep breath and laughed, “Jesus, I hate these questions… Uhm, it’s fun.” 

You shrugged, not knowing what exactly he, or anyone who ever asked you that, wanted to hear. “It’s fine. I mean, there’s a lot of input and there are some lectures, some professors, or some other students I really can’t stand, but other than that…”, you shrugged again, laughing awkwardly, “Fine.”

Hopper smiled at that and chuckled. “Art history, right?”, he asked softly, “That’s what you’re studying.” 

You smiled back at him and felt a light blush coming to your cheeks. “Yeah.” 

“So you wanna work in a museum when you’re done? Or in a gallery?”, he asked, his attention now fully on you.

Your breath caught in your throat. The way he sat there, his body relaxed, his right hand still holding the bottle, his eyes staying on you as he took a sip from it, his tongue quickly swiping over his bottom lip as he set the bottle down again, and his uniform just fitting him so right.

Your smile grew bigger at his question. “That’d be perfect, but I haven’t decided yet. But, yeah, I’d love to work in an art museum.” You briefly looked over to your parents who were both looking at you proudly.

“Bet you’d fit great in there.”, Hopper smirked. You nodded at him and mumbled a quick “thanks”, a little overwhelmed with how he seemed so focused on you.

Lucky for you, his attention switched to your father again as he asked something about work at the police station. This gave you time to collect your thoughts a little.

Why did you feel so attracted to your dad’s friend? What exactly was it about him? Was it just that he looked very handsome, with his somewhat rugged behavior most of the time, which made you wonder why he was so kind towards you? Was it his seemingly genuine interest in you and what you did? Or was it just the thought of doing something potentially immoral? Or simply your lack of love and romance at college that made you fall for every guy that was nice to you?

You looked at Hopper again as he talked to your dad, almost admiring him. You couldn’t grasp what made him so attractive to you, he was just your dad’s friend. There was nothing special about him. Nothing that really stood out. Except for his eyes, maybe. And his beard. And his voice… And his uniform, obviously. Your eyes widened a little as you realized your thoughts, finding more and more things about him you considered attractive. You silently cursed yourself and shifted a little in your chair, untangling your crossed legs and stretching them out under the table.

You startled a little as you brushed against another leg. You quickly pulled back and saw Hopper glancing at you with a smirk before shifting his focus on your dad again as they kept chatting. To get a hold of yourself again, you grabbed your glass in front of you and took a big sip of the cold water, using the condensation on the glass to cool yourself on your wrists as your mother started telling you something about all the things you could do during your stay in Hawkins.

Thankful for the distraction, you happily listened to her ramble about all the things the two of you could do together and all the things you could teach her once you finished your studies.

“We could go to all kinds of museums across the world and see all your favorite paintings! Wouldn’t that be great?”  You nodded, giggling to yourself, “That would be awesome.” 

As you told your mom about a recent lecture you’d found very interesting, you watched Hopper through the corner of your eye.

He took a cigarette out of a pack and stuffed it between his lips. He grabbed a lighter from his pocket and lit the cigarette. You didn’t care about smoking yourself, but there was something about the way it sat between his lips or dangled between his fingers when he held it in his hand.

God fucking dammit, get a hold of yourself, your mind screamed at you. You cleared your throat again and looked at your mum, quickly excusing yourself and heading to the bathroom.

“It’s gotta be a hormonal thing.”, you muttered to yourself as you entered the bathroom and locked the door.

You turned on the faucet and let cold water run over your hands and wrists to cool yourself. After a few moments, you shook some water off your hands before placing them on your neck, dampening the skin. You closed your eyes as you enjoyed the coolness, startling when an image of Hopper standing in front of you, taking your hand away and putting his on your neck instead to cool you down popped up. You opened your eyes and looked into the mirror with a confused look.  “Pull yourself together, for fuck’s sake.”, you said to your reflection. You walked out the bathroom and back into the garden, joining your mom and Hopper again.

Before you could ask, your dad came into view with a bottle of whisky. You chuckled to yourself and rubbed your hands together playfully. 

“If that one’s not good, I’m heading home first thing in the morning.”, you warned with a laugh.  Your dad shook his head with a smile as he poured the drinks for everyone. As you grabbed your glass and lifted it to your lips, you noticed Hopper glancing at you yet again. Something about his look made you a little uneasy, but you couldn’t figure out what. He looked attentive and a little stern. 

You tried not to think about the sweet shiver his look gave you and kept eye contact as both of you took a sip. The liquid burnt slightly in your throat, almost making you cough, but you kept a straight face as you swallowed quickly. 

Hopper nodded approvingly, “Not a single twitch in her face. Didn’t expect that.” He looked over to your dad who just shrugged and chuckled, “Told ya so.” You looked at both of them with a cocked eyebrow. “Just told him you handle whisky pretty well, that’s all.”, your dad smiled. You didn’t know what to answer, so you remained silent at first and shrugged a little, but couldn’t hide a smirk. “Bet I could drink you old men under the table anytime.”, you teased, earning a laugh from both your parents.  “That a challenge?”, Hopper asked and you didn’t even have to look at him to sense the amusement in his voice. You shrugged again, trying to look serious as you locked eyes with him, but failing immediately, feeling your cheeks heat up again.

For the rest of the evening, you couldn’t shake the feeling of some sort of tension between Hop and yourself. You weren’t sure if it was just your imagination, if he was just in a mood to taunt you or if there was something else you hadn’t caught on to yet.

And you could’ve sworn he was eyeing you when you stood up to grab a coke from the fridge.

At around ten, Hopper announced he’d be heading home, despite your dad suggesting he could just crash on the couch.

You waved him goodbye with a sweet smile and watched as he got into his car. Before he drove off, you noticed his eyes lingering on you a tad too long as his lips twitched into a slight smirk and reached forward to start the car before driving off.

As you headed inside, you helped your parents clear the table outside. You grabbed the glasses and took them into the kitchen. Your mother mentioned some plans for the upcoming week. “Your dad and I are havin’ our date night on Wednesday. That okay with you?”

You nodded firmly, “‘Course that’s okay, Mom, I don’t mind. I’ll just try to make some plans myself for that night so you can have your space ‘round here, don’t wanna interrupt you two havin’ fun.” You cringed a little at your phrasing, definitely not intending for the last part to sound so suggestive. Your mum just chuckled, “Thank you, sweetie. Maybe some old friends from high school’re around that you wanna meet up with.” “Not sure if I really want that, I think my taste in people has changed.”, you groaned bitterly.

As you got ready for bed and changed into your pajamas, moments from the dinner kept replaying in your head and sent a shiver through your whole body. You couldn’t ignore the way Hopper had looked at you with his pretty blue eyes. His expressions never gave much away, but sometimes, his eyes could say more than he would ever dare to speak. You laid down and tried to clear your mind from him, but you couldn’t help thinking about what he’d be like if you got to know him better. How he would take care of you if you had a bad day, how he would always ask about your major and listen to everything you’d tell him.

“My fucking god.”, you mumbled to yourself and rubbed your eyes before turning to your side, focusing on just getting some sleep.

Throughout the next days, your mind kept drifting off, which was messing you up when you were trying to work on a paper for college. You were sitting at the table in the kitchen, sipping on your third cup of coffee for the day and staring at the book in front of you with wide eyes and ruffling your hair in frustration. You couldn’t focus. At all.

You groaned and threw your head back as you heard your parents’ car pull up the driveway.  “Thank god for the distraction.”, you mumbled and got up from the chair and walked to the front door, ready to help your mom get the groceries out of the car.  “You look-”, your mom started. “I know.”, you laughed and groaned again as you took two bags out of the car, “I’m just trying to work on a paper, but nothing’s working today.” 

She gave you a sympathetic smile and rubbed your arm before taking another bag out of the car and following you inside. “Something on your mind you wanna talk about?”  “I don’t know, not really? And please don’t ask me if it’s boy trouble or something like that, that question will be my last straw.”

She laughed and apologized immediately, “But if there’s something you wanna talk about, anything, you know you can talk it out with me, right?” You just nodded as you started packing away the groceries. “Maybe I’ll just head to the library later and see if I find something helpful there. Or something to distract me and clear my mind.” “I bet you’ll figure something out, don’t stress yourself too much.”, she said and patted your head again.

Two hours later, you were roaming through Hawkin’s library. Initially, you just wanted to look for any book that seemed interesting enough to keep your mind busy. But once you found the small section on art history, you couldn’t resist. 

You scanned the books on each shelf with a smile, taking one out now and then to skim through it and see if it could help with your paper.  As focused as you were on the books, you could still hear faint background noises. Though the library was mostly quiet, you swore you could hear someone talking. You were too far away to distinguish words, but the voice alone made your heart skip a beat.

Shit. 

You turned around and peeped around the corner as inconspicuously as possible. Of course, as you turned around the corner, one of the books you were holding slipped out of your grip and fell to the floor with a loud thump.  You rolled your eyes and silently cursed to yourself as you bent down to pick up the book.  “This day, I swear… Feel like I’m going insane.” As you got up again, you quickly looked around. No one nearby, no one there to give you strange looks because you dropped a book.

You shook your head and looked back to the shelf in front of you, this time placing the books you already took on an empty space in the shelf to keep another one from falling. You looked to the upper rows of the shelf, quickly scanning the books for titles that seemed interesting.  You reached out to pull one out that seemed to be stuck between the other ones around it. You groaned and tried again with more force. You did it get it out, but you also got the other two around it out. Before you realized what happened, the books were stopped by a big hand. “Clumsy today, aren’t we?”  Hopper’s low and quiet voice instantly sent a shiver down your spine. You looked at him with big eyes as he put the books back.

“What?” 

He chuckled. “That book you dropped a minute ago might have gotten my attention. Wanted to see who’s being loud in here.”  You rolled your eyes at him and smiled a little.  “You okay? You seem a bit off.”, he asked.  “Off how?”  “Well, first of all, your hair looks a lil’ messed up.”, he chuckled again and raised his hand to carefully move a strand of your hair. You froze as his hand slightly grazed your forehead. 

“And you just seem… off. I dunno, a little jumpy. Not to mention you dropping books all the time.”

Now you laughed quietly too, “It was one book, gimme a break!” Hopper smiled down at you, “You okay, though?” You puffed out a breath, “I don’t know, this day’s been driving me insane, tugging at the last of my nerves. Can’t focus on anything.”  He frowned a little, “Something happen? Something making you think too much?”

Yes, you, but I can’t tell you that for various reasons, you thought.

“No, not really. I’m just trying to work on a paper and thought looking through the library would help… What are you doing here anyway?” Hop shrugged. “Just needed to check some old newspaper articles. Nothin’ important.”  You rolled your eyes again, but couldn’t help a smile, “I pour out my trouble to you and that’s all I get from you, that’s a lil’ disappointing, Hop!” Hop smirked, “Maybe I just stay out of trouble better than you do.” “I’m not in trouble.”, you chuckled as you scanned the shelf for more books.

Anything that kept your eyes off that damn uniform. 

“Well, if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be so stressed and jumpy.”, he teased, “You can talk to me if something’s bothering you, a’ight? I won’t tell anyone.” You looked over at him and noticed a warm smile as his eyes scanned your face. You inhaled deeply and nodded, “Yeah, I know. Thanks, Hop. Don’t you need to get back to the station?”

“I’m the-”, he began.  “Chief of Police, I can do whatever I want.”, you both said. You looked at him and tried to suppress your laugh as his jaw dropped a little. “You kinda say that a lot.”, you said quietly. He smirked at you.  Was that too much? Did you just flirt with him?

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

You mentally prepared yourself for an awkward situation and prayed you wouldn’t start stuttering or something. “My parents got that… date night tomorrow night, and, uh… I told them I’d just stay away so they can have the house to themselves, but turns out I didn’t think this through, so I-”  You looked at Hopper and saw his smirk get bigger as you rambled. You took a deep breath and kept going, “Long story short: I don’t know where the hell I should go and now I wanna awkwardly ask you if I can maybe stay at your place? I swear you won’t even notice me, I can keep myself busy the whole night with my paper or read a book or-"

You internally screamed when he didn’t say anything, just looking at you and smirking. “Please just say something, don’t leave me hanging like this!”, you quietly whined.  You heard a low chuckle come from him before he answered, “Y’know where my trailer is? I’ll put a spare key under the doormat and you can let yourself in whenever you want, a’ight?”  You sighed in relief and thanked him. “I can even cook dinner if you want?” Hopper cocked his eyebrow, “Hell no. I‘m not putting you to work.” “But I make a really good-”  He raised his hand to stop you and smiled again, “Listen, when I get off from work, I just come home, you get in my car, and we’ll get something from Benny’s. Sound good?”  You smiled back at him and nodded, “Sounds good.”  “Good. And don’t stress yourself out too much, okay?” You simply nodded at him before he took off, his lips twitching into another small smirk as he looked at you.

This wasn’t weird, right? You and your dad’s best friend just hanging out?

___________________________________________________________

tags: @strang3lov3 @whyamiheresomeonehelp

if you enjoyed this, please like, comment and/or reblog, I'm a sucker for that😚

And if you wanna be tagged in the next parts, let me know!

[gomzdrawfr]

Royal AU

heavy sigh LISTEN, this brainrot has taken over me so hard that I physically cant even make anything shiny au related(dragon!Price one) so pLEASE, lemme show u what this au is all about:

an attempt at the emblem has been made, and honestly? im not gonna do any more of this bcuz god i suck at designs HAHAHSKDJHSAD

some lore if you're interested:

so Raven is adopted by Vik, who was the previous Royal Guard for Price's dad, and because Vik doesnt have any son, he makes Raven to grow up as one

The general story is like this, Vik was also part of a society, Cobra who wanted to throw the kingdom into chaos, and so they plot a plan to assassinate Prince!Price, because they think another prince is more fitting to be the next king, however this ended up in an unfortunate turn of event where Vik killed the king instead of Prince!Price, so Price had to ascend the throne pretty early on

In other words, Vik also had other intention when he specifically trains Raven to be the next royal guard, since he wants Raven to get close to Price for her to kill him -> and this fact is disguised as a fact that "oh hey Raven you need to be a guy to continue this "FaMiLY tRaDitIoN"

okay, dialing back a lil, let's talk about the relationship between Price and Raven for a sec, they're childhood friends as mentioned.

Basically, young Prince!Price who likes to sneak out and hang out with the royal guard's "son", Raven, in secret of course

they often like to hang out in one of the sealed off room in the palace, to which they managed to find a way to enter it of course, so lets call this the "childhood room"

expanding on the lore, when they both grow up they start hanging out lesser due to their respective roles and duties. Keep in mind, all these time Price thought Raven was a dude, until "event" happened of course

so what's this "event" you ask?

basically, around the time when Price was announced to be the next heir to the throne, he decided to take a break from his work and visit the childhood room, it has always been a safe haven for him. Just before he wants to leave though, an injured and soon to be Royal Guard Raven stumbles into the room(she cant go to the infirmary in risk of being exposed), with one hand around her abdomen area

Price decided to stay quiet and observe, he hasnt seen "him" in such a long time afterall, and thats when he saw Raven wearing a binder underneath all the armour as she wrapped a bandage around her abdomen, which reveals her gender after all this time

so technically, Price knows Raven's true identity since early on, but never commented on it, but it definitely does throw him off for...several reasons :]

anyways....idk how else to expand this but i do have a general idea, maybe something about Vik forcing Raven to kill Price in one of the events, but she retaliates instead, and as a result she tries to off herself since she has been lying to Price the entire time, insert angst and more angst, then idk timeskip to Price finding out Raven's real real identity ((because keep in mind, Raven's adopted, not blood related to Vik)) is a forgotten Princess or sum, and then they get married and live happily ever after((LET ME BE DELULU))

but yeeeeeeeeeee XDDD thats about it

[pannman]

Hazbin Horizon

Hazbin pirate AU

Chapter 1

Charlie felt the wind in her hair as she stood and took in the view. The sun was rising on the horizon. She placed her hand on the main mast and leaned foward. The air smelled of salt, sounds of the tides crashing on to stern of the ship mixed with the seagulls singing their sirens song, and the warmth of the rising sun felt nice in contrast to the cool breeze high up in the crow's nest. She heard her first mate and love of her life's beautiful voice calling out to her. She must be worried about her being so high up. "CHARLLLIIEEE!!!!"

"CHARRRRRLLLLLIIIEEIE!!!" Vaggie's voice started to sound different... more distorted. The world around Charlie began to blur and Vaggies voice became nothing more than low muffled incoherent murmers. It was suddenly pitch black as she was transported to the main deck. Shadows surrounded her and in the distance she swore she could see glowing red eyes and a sinister smile. They seemed to be looking right at her. As if offering some sort of temptation. "Charlie! Wake up!"

Of course it was just a dream. It felt so real though. Charlie sat up in bed next to Vaggie. "You were having that dream again weren't you?" Vaggie asked. Charlie yawned but was rather unsettled "it was a bit different this time...." vaggie poured Charlie some morning tea as the lady's maids entered to help them get ready for the day

"You remember our plans for today?" Vaggie asked as her corset was being tied. "Of course! How could I forget?!? Today is the day everything changes!" Charlie said enthusiastically as her corset was tied as well. "As long as this meeting goes well..." Vaggie spoke in an uncertain tone. "Don't be nervous Vaggie. We will do this. We've got to do this. We can put an end to all this violence. I'm sure thats something the Nirvanan government can agree with." She pointed out. Vaggie still seemed unsure but Charlie shrugged it off.

She loved Vaggie. Her grounded and realistic point of view helped keep her on task and practical. But sometimes Vaggie was a bit too cynical. Though Charlie wouldn't change a thing. It was just one way they helped bring out the best in each other. Charlie would help Vaggie see the bright side as well as the potential in everything and everyone

As soon as they washed up and dressed for the occasion they hopped in their chariot and rode off towards the estate. A fancy mansion that now served as a high class sailors club. That was their meeting place. Though they didn't know WHO they were meeting with

They were down the street that leads to the main road which leads to the estate when something caught Vaggie's eye. "Stop the chariot!" They were pulled to a stop and Charlie's confusion was suddenly put to rest at the sight of their current ONLY crew member

Vaggie groaned "Angel! What are you doing out here?" There was a young man with extremely light blond hair in a white women's gown with a pink bodice and flowy sleeves that didn't cover his shoulders. He stood out on the street chatting up a drunk man with a beard trying to sell his "services". He stopped after hearing Vaggie and looked at them rather annoyed. "I'm working" he said nonchalantly

Vaggie sighed "you're supposed to be guarding the ship! You know, YOUR JOB!" she grew more frustrated by the minute. "Nobody is gonna rob that floating piece of rubbish" he argued. Charlie decided to intervene "Angel I know you need all the money you can get right now. But there ARE valuables on that ship. If you can finish up what you're doing here and head back soon I would very much appreciate it" Charlie tried to compromise. Angel agreed "fine. Just one more client and I will return to the ship and GUARD IT WITH MY LIFE" that last part sounded sarcastic but as long as he was back on duty soon Charlie wasn't too upset

They carried on their way. Upon arriving at the estate it seemed to be quite extravagant. As in the place was huge! Charlie and Vaggie entered the building to announce their arrival. An old man stopped them on their way into the communal room. "Only the Lady Charlotte may enter" he said. Charlie was about to argue but Vaggie stopped her. "It's fine. I'll just be out here" Charlie let go of Vaggies hand and braced herself before walking through the double doors

Inside it was... empty. No one was here. Was she early? No. She was right on time. At the center of the room a large model ship enclosed in a glass case stood just in the light of the window. She approached it and looked at it in wonder. It was huge. It had to be an important ship if it was on display. She looked down at the golden plate attached with words etched onto it. "The Angel's Armada" What a beautiful ship.

"Yes that's my ship" a man's voice came from behind her. She whipped around to see two people had arrived. A tall heavy set man with grayish brown hair and shorter women with hair even lighter blond than Angel's. "Do you like it? A lot of beautiful ladies love big ships! That's why I'm never without good company. I'm the captain of the largest ship in the Nirvanan sea" he bragged.

Charlie was impressed by the ship but by the bragging arrogant man... not so much. Charlie realized she had almost forgotten to bow. "Lady Charlotte of Nether, at your service" she said courteously. The man did not bow back. "Captain Adam of Nirvana, what exactly do you want?" His lack of manners threw Charlie off. Wait. Captain Adam? "THE Captain Adam? The one waging war against all pirates?" She asked. "The very one" he said with pride.

"Well, mister Adam-" she began. "-Call me Captain" he corrected her. "Ahem... mister Adam... I have a proposition for you. Since you are the great Captain Adam I get the feeling you would like to be part of this. Your amazing leadership skills and bravery is unchallenged" she spoke straight to his ego. "Any challenge is one I can handle just name it!" He shouted enthusiastically.

"What about a solution to our pirate problem? A more peaceful solution" as soon as she spoke his enthusiasm died horribly. "What!?! Why!?! Isn't the non peaceful solution working just fine?" He complained. The woman next to him joined in "Why would we care about bloodthirsty pirates? They are savage dogs who chose a life of plundering and violence. They should ALL be slaughtered like pigs!" Her words spit like venom and her voiced laced with hatred

"Exactly! Lute here is right" said Adam "there's no reason we should want to save these scumbags" Charlie decided to keep presenting her idea. "But what if... we created our own pirate ship but instead of stealing and hurting others we HELP people and we recruit former pirates to do it?" She continued with her plan hoping that Adam and Lute would see through their prejudices but it did not work. "You wanna work WITH those monsters?"

"They're not monsters they're just people. People who I think are capable of being better than this. They just need a push" she argued. "A push off the port side and fed to the sharks!" Lute yelled. Charlie was beginning to get tired of these two. Adam broke the tension. "Listen, you gave it your best shot. Clearly this is why a nobles daughter could never be a sea captain. We would like to inform you though that in 6 months. We are going to set out the largest pirate hunt in history. And we are coming straight for Nether. We KNOW thats where they like to plunder" he informed her.

"You are coming to my territory to wage war without asking me?" She tried to keep her rage down. "Our orders come from the highest ranks. Sorry sweetheart. We're just obligated to let you know. Anyway meeting adjourned!" He and the Lute left before Charlie could get another word in.

She cried the whole ride back to the ship docks. Vaggie tried to console her. "We'll figure it out. We just need to keep trying" for once SHE was being the optimist. Vaggie wiped away Charlie's tears and looked softly into her eyes. The warmth in Vaggie's features melted away the pain in Charlie's heart. She hugged her and finally calmed down. They approached to thankfully see Angel guarding the ship like he promised.

Angel did however look rather unnerved. "please tell me weren't robbed while you were out" Vaggie groaned. "No, it's just uh... there's this man over there who wants to talk to you. He's an odd man. He has this creepy smile. Anyway I told him you were out be he insisted he could wait" Charlie looked over at the dark skinned man in the long red coat and a hat decorated with feathers. He looked either wealthy or presenting so.

Charlie approached him as he turned around a smile was plastered on his face. Maybe he just did it to look friendly but was more unsettling. Charlie bowed politely. "Lady Charlotte of Nether, how may I be of service?". The man bowed and took her hand placing a kiss on the top. "Alastor, pleasure to be meeting you. Quite a pleasure. And I believe I may be of service TO YOU" Vaggie suddenly stepped in front of Charlie. "I KNOW YOU!!! YOURE THAT HORRIBLE PIRATE CAPTAIN. THE PIRATE DEMON!!!" She pulled her sword out and held it close prepared to protect Charlie with her life. "I assure you despite the rumors, I am no demon. I'm simply a man. And I'm a man who wants to help you" he didn't seem at all threatened by Vaggie.

"Help us wiiiithhh...?" Charlie asked confused "this ridiculous thing you're trying to do. This ship. I want to help you run it". He spoke pridefully. "But. Why?" Charlie asked. "Why does anyone do anything? Sheer absolute boredom! I'm tired of the same old routine. Pillaging and plundering. I've hit every ship. Every town. I've made enemies. I've made friends. I want to see the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment. Only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure" his sadistic nature was clear as day. But Charlie knew that needed help now more than ever

Vaggie warned against it. "Hes dangerous. He can't be trusted. Have you heard the stories of what this man done? That he dabbles in witchcraft?" Vaggie meant well and she was probably right but Charlie couldn't turn someone away who wanted to help. Even if it was for the wrong reasons

"I accept your help" she said. "Well then where is your crew?" Alastor asked. Charlie pointed to her current two man crew of Vaggie and Angel. "You're gonna need more than that" he replied

Alastor navigated them to the location of an island where he claimed he knew people he could get to join their crew

They arrived to the island of Hedon and followed Alastor into town. There were drunk people and prostitutes and crime every where you looked. "I could get used to this place" Angel commented. They stopped in front of a tavern where two women stood outside hitting on every man that walked by, loud drunk celebrations could be heard booming from the windows and a man lay passed out propped up against the outside of the building. "Are we really going in there?" Charlie asked nervously. She had never been in a place like that before.

"No need" Alastor replied. He approached the man passed out outside. He leaned down and snapped his fingers trying to wake him up. "Husker. Husker." He seemed excited that the man was man not waking up. He happily slapped him as hard as he could. That woke him up. "OW!!!! WHAT FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?" the black man who's name seemed to be Husker immediately recognized Alastor. "Good to see you too my friend!" Alastor ignored Huskers tone. "Husk, my friend do you remember that favor you owe me? Because we are getting together a crew and I'd like you to be the ship's cook" Alastor said it like he didn't have a choice.

Husk sighed "I don't even know how to cook anything good" he admitted. "Well I suppose you'll learn on the job! Now come with us! We have one more new recruit to find who also happens to be here on Hedon" said Alastor "You're not talking about who I think you are, are you?" Husk questioned. "She should be here somewhere" Alastor said ignoring him but also confirming his suspicions. "Ah, the inn. That's where I left her last." They entered the Inn. It didn't look to be fancy. In fact it looked to be falling apart. But aside from that the place was very clean. Spotless even.

Alastor rang the bell and an old stoutly man came. "Where is your housemaid?" Alastor asked. The man called out. "NIFFTY!!! GET DOWN HERE!!!" and almost like a flash of lighting a very small young woman in a red dress and an apron dashed down the stairs. "Oh my gosh! Alastor! I can't believe you're here!!!" She had a lot of energy and was extremely excited to see Alastor. Alastor smiled knowingly at her. "Good to see you too Niffty. You know what's more fun than keeping an Inn clean? Keeping an entire ship clean!" He said. Nifftys eyes sparkled at his words. The innkeeper didn't seemed bothered. "Go! Take her! She keeps stealing undergarments from the male customers!" Alastor nodded and then they were off.

They stood in front of the ship letting the new crew take it all in. "THIS is the mighty ship we're setting sail on? It looks like a hand me down. Aren't you rich? Can't you afford a better one?" Husk complained. "My father is rich. And well... he doesn't really support my ideas. So I've had buy cheap. But I'm sure if we keep working on it it'll become a beauty!" She said optimistically. "I LIKE IT!!! IVE NEVER BEEN ON A SHIP BEFORE!!! Niffty exclaimed.

Niffty threw up for the 5th time over the starboard bow. Her legs were practically about to give out. "This ship is EVIL!" She moaned. Husk got to work cooking up something that looked like was meant to be fed to the fishes. Angel hoisted the sails and half assed tied them. Vaggie hoisted the anchor and made sure everything was proper. Alastor went about the ship double checking everything.

Charlie climbed the shroud up to the crow's nest. She climbed inside and felt the wind against her hair. It was even better than in her dream. Everything was was so invigorating. She was finally doing it.

And nothing was going to stop her now.

[voidandabyssal]

Swapfell bros meeting you for the first time hc’s!

I’ve been rereading ‘dirty laundry’ by @popatochisssp and I now have a strong urge to talk about my own sf boys!!

Requests are open btw!

Black:

Ngl you two meet in the worst way possible

You are the seventh human to fall down into the Underground and the last human that needs to die for all of Monsterkinds freedom

Suffice to say, it’s not a friendly start to the relationship

As soon as Black hears about a human wandering through Snowdin he drags his brother out to track you down.

Of course, being the honourable monster he is, he offers for you to complete three of his and his brother’s puzzles.

Complete the puzzles and he lets you move on to Waterfall, fail even one! and well, the puzzles aren't exactly child friendly.

You get through each one, shockingly quickly, and without suffering grievous injury.

Black's a little shocked at it. You're even better than some of the guard recruits!

as you're walking out of town, readying yourself for the battle that will be Waterfall. Black challenges you to a battle. He demands to know what you've got in you that lets you finish his most dangerous puzzles in a few minutes!

He drags you back to his home and keeps you locked in his shed, or "TEMPORARY HUMAN PRISON CELL" as he likes to call it.

At least now you're relationship progresses a little further.

He finds you... charming, a curiosity to be sure. Not many people can find ways to sneak into his mind like you can. He enjoys your bantering, even if you're both supposed to be enemies.

He comes in a few times a day, eager to interrogate you. He starts regretting being so eager to call up Alphys and inform her about you

For once in his life, Black is left conflicted. Things had been so easy before he met you, protect his brother, earn his promotions and give everyone a reason to fear the name 'Black'

And now? Well, he protected those he cared for.

After a short conversation, he 'conveniently' forgets to relock the shed door, and 'accidentally' slips up and tells you about an old cabin deep into Snowdin's forest that was totally isolated and far away from any Monsters.

He's happy when he comes back with Alphys a few hours later to find you totally gone, no doubt headed for that dilapidated home.

From there, he manages to find the time to slip past his home and work duties, bringing you food and clothes to keep you fed and alive.

He just hopes another human falls soon. Black doesn't think he could handle seeing you dead in front of the queen, her hand gripping around your soul cruelly.

Mutt:

Mutt was the first one to find you, luckily you'd hidden from all the other Monsters that had wandered up near the ruin doors. Unlucky for you, Mutt is way to perceptive to not see you.

Though he is pretty high, so he kinda just assumes you're not real? or maybe just a weird looking monster. He's not gonna judge!

So you both end up just chilling at his sentry station. You're too tired to keep moving ahead, and Mutt is way to lazy to actually do anything about the potential human sitting next to him

You're harmless anyways! With the way you're shaking he doubts you could even hurt a Whimsum.

Soon he can hear Black, storming off in the distance, his voice echoing against the tall pine trees. He lazily tells you to duck under the sentry stand and wait until Blacks gone.

He disappears with his brother, leaving you to fend for yourself out in the cold night.

He comes back the next day, shocked to find you still there. He'd have thought you'd have run back to Asgore by now.

Hang out continues with you shivering a lot more noticeably.

You know you're growing on him when he lets you borrow his coat.

Black finds out about you soon enough, Mutt never could keep much from his older brother.

oh boy is he pissed his idiot brother had been hanging out with a human for weeks without saying anything!

"YOU'RE A SENTRY, MUTT!" Black curses,

Mutt actually does stand up for you though. It's the first time in a long time that he's ever cared about anything to be so proactive.

It's a lengthy argument but Black relents and agrees to hide you in their home.

You stay in Mutts room and you avoid the windows and you don't do anything that could raises suspicion! Those were blacks rules, which you were more than happy to follow. Anything to escape the cold.

You get a lot closer with Mutt, aside from Undyne (who he really only talks to online) you're basically his only friend, so you end up talking a lot, find you share more in common than you think.

From there things really only improve (well, aside from Blacks opinion on you, but there isn't a lot you could do to change that stubborn old bros mind on you)

[sylvaridreams]

I have to be at work in 6 hours and I haven't slept I'm gonna story dump and you're gonna like it. Aeris and Alba's shared past and how Caithe raised them both kinda etc. at some point maybe this gets written out as a real fic... someday.... 😴💤💭🐑

Caithe fills in as a mother for Aurene, because Aurene needed a mommy and she helped raise her alongside Alba, and she has that connection with her etc. but Caithe's mothering ability did not just pop up on the spot like Ohhhhh i know how to be maternal okay ^_^ because ALBA was her first. who she nabbed while he was still in the dream and said hey you have a destiny, you have a duty to fulfill, i need you to come meet your maker, NOW. and when the shadow of the dragon was defeated and Alba finally fitfully awoke Caithe was kind of. stuck with him.

and she realized quickly that this very shy, easily frightened, naive little sprout NEEDED to grow up and fast. he was clingy and didn't want to be far from her, he didn't want to leave the grove, he was scared to go do Valiant work by himself. and she's like (nervously) Alba dear you have a Wyld Hunt to fulfill you know! haha! go on.

and it's like. This isn't a "oh we can wait 10, 20, 30 years for Alba to be ready and comfortable with people and capable with weapons! no rush, baby steps!" situation, because Zhaitan is growing stronger and his minions are heading further and further north. there HAS to be action QUICKLY. and Alba's not going to be able to do jack shit about an elder dragon when he's too shy to talk to the Valiants, or when he's too afraid of hurting himself or anything else to swing a sword properly. he has to grow up. now.

so AERIS. Who awoke within a couple hours after Alba, who we've wrongly looked at her dream and said OH!!!! another elder dragon dream? so soon after the first! well you should ALSO get ready to slay a dragon soon! clearly that's your purpose! -- Caithe looks her over and is like. well. she's kind of snappish and gets mean quickly. she could use to grow out of that herself. and Alba needs a companion that he can rely on a little bit, but who will push him to do for himself and grow. well…

so Caithe introduces them (takes Aeris aside and is like toughen him up but don't be cruel about it) and then (takes Alba aside and is like try to endure her okay she doesn't have any other friends) OKAY YOU SPROUTS GO HAVE FUN.

so Alba and Aeris start doing minor Valiant work in Caledon and it's like. they learn quickly that certain things don't mesh well with the other. Alba learns he has to do things for himself and speak up and not just tremble and stay out of fights or Aeris gets angry. and he can't just cry when she's snappish or when things go wrong because she gets angrier. and Aeris learns that she can't just boil over at him because he'll cry and she CAN'T stand crying, it's so obnoxious ughhh. So she learns to mellow out and bottle it up, and he toughens up a bit, and as they work further north (because Alba is less afraid of venturing away from the Grove, after a couple weeks with Aeris. Sure, we can go to the Bay. We can go further too!) they both become kind of playfully competitive! it's friendly competition for now. I can do this faster/more than you! I'll race you there! I'll get it done before you do!

and after a few weeks as they're really learning about the world and themselves it kind of turns into. well we both have a Wyld Hunt! both of us are meant to slay an elder dragon….

I'll kill mine before you do! and they're also rooting each other on because they're good friends after a few weeks, but there's also this determination to do it first. to Win!

and then Trahearne returns from Orr and Caithe calls them (mostly Alba) back to the Grove. and Alba meets Trahearne for the first time and is deeply impressed by his demeanor, by how smart he is and how he carries himself, and develops the beginnings of his dumb crush on his eventual superior officer.

Treahearne is like oh good this is him. Okay the heads of the three orders are here, and if you're to kill Zhaitan, I'd like to send you with one of them for training and prep. okay? good lad 🚶‍♂️off to my work lalala

Caithe is like :burning: pulls alba aside. Okay so there are three options. The Priory is a loooot of reading and boring classes. SOOO boring. So dry. And the Order of Whispers… well they hear a lot of juicy stuff, but then they can't talk about it with anyone 😦 sad! and then the Vigil… well I think you'd do quite nicely there. they can take anyone with any skill and mold them into a proper soldier

and Alba's like (missed the part where she called him a ditzy skill-less gossip) you think i could be a proper soldier 😮

Aeris: what should i join Caithe: whatever, anyway Alba I know you'll choose what's right. for you! (joke btw. Caithe gave her genuine advice too just less guided. make your own choice girl)

so they go to convene with Trahearne and the heads of the orders and Alba is like. dead set on Vigil because it's what Caithe said he'd excel at! Aeris joins the priory because she feels she needs to know more about Kralk if she's going to kill this thing, surely SOMEONE would have killed that elder dragon already if we knew HOW. (and then she spends years wasting oodles of Priory money that they keep granting her until LWS4, for her Kralk/branded research. and then she gets forcibly ejected from the Priory, stripped of her rank, asked not to return to the premises, etc.)

obviously in personal story its a lot of running back and forth from the grove to wherever the orders have you go and then you choose one and then you go on missions with your mentor etc. doesnt work for me. I see the orders as needing new recruits to live on site to learn their jobs. etc. so Alba leaves the grove to go live at the Keep. and it's his first time REALLY away from Caithe and from Aeris and he's. he's lonely. and shy. and retreats into his shell a bit and becomes a very easy target for bullying and hazing, because he's a quiet sylvari and kind of feminine in his mannerisms and speech and he's not very strong as of yet (training will fix this) and all the other recruits can see that he's GETTING preferential treatment despite all his shortcomings from Laranthir, then from Almorra, just because he had some stupid ass sylvari "dream" 🙄 whatever i dream all the time. last night I dreamt I slayed a huuuuuge monster beast so they should really give ME preferential treatment. not him.

and being "subtly" kicked down and talked down to and targeted during trainings and shoved around all the time has him. feeling not so good about any of it. Everyone keeps telling him that killing Zhaitan is his big destiny but it feels further and further away every day, with every training drill, with every meal that he eats alone (away from the mess hall because he's learning that the bullying doesnt STOP when there's a large group of people around, it gets louder.) so he eats his meals in some dusty old supply room somewhere and spends all his free time alone and miserable and missing Caithe and missing Aeris and writing letters that he can't bring himself to send, but he wants to give up and just go home. he doesn't like this place. he's clearly not meant for it. they must have picked the wrong sylvari for that dream about the dragon. so he should just drop it and leave. but Caithe might be mad at him. or disappointed. and Aeris will make fun of him, if she doesn't yell at him for it. there's no clean way out where he runs home and everyone welcomes him back and says yaaaay you left the vigil yaaaaay. there's just enduring being bullied by the recruits and the soldiers that rank directly above them, or there's going home a loser.

and I think Laranthir like. tries to keep up with him and check in occasionally within the first couple weeks or the first month or so. but Alba won't tell him what's happening, because he DID tell Laranthir the first time he asked and Laranthir punished the recruits that were tormenting him, and no one could prove that Alba ratted them out but you know. people just know. who else would do it?

so he doesn't confide anything and keeps his mouth shut and just grits his teeth but he wants out sooo bad. The Vigil is not what it was sold to him as. Caithe said they'd mold ANYONE into a soldier but he's not malleable like that. He can't be turned into that.

And things only turn around Because he meets Meisi. and works with him in small ways and is able to make friends with him. and that's how he becomes the Commander 😊 yay

and then Aeris. Aeris struggled just as much at the Priory if not more so. she's not people-persony by nature any more than Alba. She snaps and gets quite mean when she does. She doesn't necessarily Get boundaries with people, so she can.... come off as Mean-mean when she's trying to be Playful-friendly mean.

So the state of affairs for her heading into the Priory is that she joins, she's assigned a roommate, that roommate within a couple of weeks requests a transfer, she's assigned another roommate, that roommate requests a transfer, word spreads, this sylvari is downright unlikeable. she becomes a pox. you don't even want to be seen with her, she's such a blight on the priory. just socially. she's unpleasant and when she does involve herself she's awkward and kills conversations and starts arguments more often than not so don't BOTHER.

so she buries herself in studies. whatever, so people don't like her. whatever. she has an important wyld hunt to fulfill. she spends all her waking hours attending lectures and reading and studying and building a case for her first research trip to the brand. they assign her Sieran as a mentor NOT because she was showing exceptional promise but because she was like. visibly struggling socially to collaborate with people, and the Priory heads were like ok if shes going to do Anything about an elder dragon she needs to learn that. so they paired her up with their most volatile mentor candidate.

which is Good for Aeris in many ways and allows her chances to do research she would have otherwise been denied. Sieran dies at Claw Island and she's miserable because she did actually like that sylvari-- but i think this also allows her to meet some of Sieran's other friends and past teammates and sort of. branch out a bit. meet other people and communicate with them.

and Eventually she has her own research team that are interested in her field of study and she has her first research grant and here we go out to the brand to kill kralk right away yay! alba's gonna lose! <- main goal

then of course come the years of failure. of ah... that didn't work. well, next time. of bags of gold passed hand over fist. bring us results. we need to see the math, we need to see the magic laid out BEFORE it's cast, we need to see your full hypothesis and then we need you to make it work. and she never does. and Alba kills zhaitan a few months into this. and she's trying to be happy for him but she's also so neck deep in studies to kill kralk it's like. awesome. thanks for writing me. enjoy your celebration. sure, if you're ever in LA maybe i can take a couple hours off to come get a drink with you, sure.

and alba keeps going on to kill bigger badder things. and she's falling behind so steadily, so far behind that it's downright sickening. at some point she'd felt like she was ahead and now alba's killed a god. and the priory wants results. and she's getting mean again. snapping at her researchers. some of them quit before the elona trip. can't stand her anymore. she's become so hard to work with (wasnt she always though?) people she'd come to consider dear friends walk on her.

whatever. whatever, it doesn't matter. she's in elona. she's doing her research in the heart of the brand, where it matters. she'll get to the bottom of this. Alba is going after Kralkatorrik next. she has to hurry. she tells herself he won't do it, won't steal this from her, but also. does alba even remember her? Does Alba recall that this IS hers? so there's urgency. there's stress. there's this anxiety that he's going to do it, he's going to notch an arrow and slay HER dragon and all these years of research and gold and desperation will have been Nothing. she gets worse. the research doesnt produce results that work, results that make sense, and her team has nothing but excuses and guesswork to give her. at her lowest point she hurls a microscope across the makeshift thunderhead keep lab and two of her last researchers get up and leave.

at thunderhead keep-- because at this point she's gone to join them. this is where Alba's going to steal her dragon. this is where he'll do it. and he at LEAST can see that she needs it. he can at least pity her enough to hand the kill off to her, to include her in his little rallying speeches and talks about strategy. everyone politely ignoring how wilted she is, how many petals she's lost already. can she even swing a sword in this state? they're all wondering. wonder no more: she can. at least he's including her. at least he's willing to pass the blade for the killing blow.

and then the battle in the keep goes wrong. Alba rushes in for the killing blow and -- shes not even sure what she does, if she throws herself at him to stop him or if something knocks her off the ramparts, but she stops him. and kralk blasts the three of them, Aurene included, and then it's like a horrible nightmare, watching her dragon draw back out of the hole in the keep, one eye gone, mouth wide and sharp like a smile, just for her.

she gets up. alone. doesn't know where Alba is. he could be dead. he might be. some part of her is afraid and some part of her is hopeful. she's wounded, but not badly, nothing structural. so she makes it to Aurene first. before anyone. stands there staring at the dead granddaughter of her prey dragon. she knows they dont have a chance now, without aurene. the chance they had before... was stretching it.

the others join her. find her. they can't find Alba. relief. it's all relief. Alba couldn't do it either, it wasn't just her. And look. They were both equally close to Kralkatorrik. she walked away practically unscathed. he's a corpse in the rubble somewhere. in the end, she won. she outdid him in this small way.

then she hears Braham call out to him, "Commander…" He's approaching. With help. Clearly can't walk right. Clearly isn't functioning right. Eyes unfocused, glassy-- head injury. But he's alive. And it's her tipping point.

How dare he keep going? How dare he live another day to hunt her dragon? She should gut him on the spot but she chooses niceties. Their youth together taught her to use kid gloves with him. You have to, with Alba. At least she can yell at him as much as she wants. She doesn't remember most of what she says, just "your fault" "your doing" "all for fucking Alba Moonseeker." "You couldn't stand to let anyone else take the glory for one fucking second and now she's dead because of YOU."

She's up in his face. he's trying not to cry and failing, and he starts to apologize to her, has the NERVE to start trying to say he's sorry, and she shoves him back and storms off. Caithe's eyes on her back. She regrets that Caithe is there. She holds respect for Caithe. She might never have mothered Aeris in the same way she did Alba, but she was something. Some figure to look up at from below. The parental figure of your dear friend who checks in, makes sure you're alright before going to coddle her own. They'd never really kept in touch. Caithe wrote her a few times and she'd never found time to write back. Eventually the letters stopped. Aeris is certain the last time they'd met was in Caledon, all those years back, but she makes no mistake that Caithe remembers her from then. And so this is how Aeris turned out, Caithe. Miserable, alone, with nothing to show for it.

But it doesn't make any sense to her. She's done the research, all of it. For years. For years she's struggled and strained towards her Wyld Hunt, and her Wyld Hunt says she must kill the elder dragon of crystal and fury and she's tried time and time again so why? Why can't she kill Kralkatorrik? She is missing something. Some vital piece, somewhere out there in the world, some final key that slides into the slot and throws the whole puzzle wide open. Tyria is a vast land. She barely knows where to begin. But she picks a spot and goes looking, winds up in Desert Highlands. Near Glint's lair. And finds something else that remains. Brand shards she's seen before, in the Riverlands. Crystals.

She realizes that she's standing at an elder dragon's remains long before the emotion hits her. For a long, silent period of about five minutes she just stands there, taking it in. Alba fought Balthazar here, she knows. The locals talked about it enough. And Aurene's brother, Vlast, he died here defending the Commander.

Vlast died here. This is all that's left. Scorch marks, ground up crystals. Shards everywhere, far as the eye can see.

She knows a little about Vlast. Not a ton. He wasn't the subject of her studies, she didn't narrow in on him. She was busy with his grandfather.

And here's his final resting spot. It hits her hard. Loud. She cries and wails into the desert winds, because it's inexplicably agonizing. It hurts so much, knowing that Vlast died out here, young and alone. Was he afraid? Was it a hard choice, giving up his life for the Commander? It had to have been. She can feel his fear all around her, suffocating her; she can feel his pain and she wails and screams for a long time, cries it out. Her pain too. Years of her life, and she finally gets it. It was never Kralkatorrik. Not even for a minute. She knows now who the dragon in her dream was. And she'd missed her chance, ages ago. She'd been in Elona before Vlast died. If she'd gone looking for him…

It hurts. She's never known anyone who failed their Wyld Hunt, but it's unbearable. She hunches down on the ground, curls in and covers her head and screams until everything has left her. She's hollow. She could blow away in the wind.

so while Alba was raised by someone with his best interests at heart, struggled going into the Vigil but eventually made a dear close genuine friend and excelled... Aeris was genuinely screwed from the beginning. and it DOES all come back to her Dream being misinterpreted, and that only happened because Alba's dream less than two hours prior was such a huge deal and so urgent to interpret-- they'd rushed on hers. They'd filled in some gaps with guesswork. Must be Kralk. Guess your purpose is to kill him, much like Alba over here. They couldn't have KNOWN and it wasn't Alba's fault that he awoke before her but once Aeris realizes what happened, that the turning point was at the very beginning after all, she resents him deeply. If he'd stayed dreaming for another day, she would've been first. They would have figured hers out properly. Instead she's lost everything-- her Wyld Hunt, her scion, her friends, her whole life, her Kralkatorrik... she has nothing to show for her lifelong obsession, her non stop drive to the edge. He has all the glory. And he'll finish it while she's away. She knows he won't wait for her return.

And she probably also knows that she can't bear to be there, when Kralkatorrik dies.

Another sylvari finds her, huddled, curled in on herself on the plateau, and takes her back to his tent. Tryllwenn. He reminds her that they've met before, but she has zero recollection of this guy. He's sharing a tent with a charr who comes and goes at odd hours, and Aeris spends close to a month drifting in and out of full consciousness-- sometimes sleeping, sometimes awake but not fully aware. Grieving. Mourning everything that she's lost to this twisted obsession that they handed to her at birth.

the two leave her mostly alone for about six weeks. Tryllwenn brings her meals, feeds her while she stares into space. The charr (Tego) barely seems to regard her. Eventually, Tryllwenn sits down in her field of vision and informs her that she needs to go find Alba and make her peace with him, that Kralkatorrik is dead and there's no undoing any of it. You can only go forward. You can only advance.

So Aeris spends the next half a year trying to find Alba to make her peace with him. She has no idea what that means. She's certain it has something to do with an apology from him and closure for her. She's ready for that.

anyway it's near 3 am now and i might die if i don't Tryyyyy to sleep so that's all. I don't think much of this was new information but i love to tell a story again and again and again n_n

now look at this image

[kabukibun]

Can we get some elaboration on the last ntr post? I absolutely love it you're a genius

niwa somewhat adopts kabukimono. it’s not official (yet) but there’s no denying he’s a father figure to him. because kabukimono is like a son to niwa and he feels responsible for him, kabukimono lives with him. niwa ends up marrying you because of an arranged marriage but you two are kind towards one another, working towards actually loving each other. although it’s not love, you do like each other and try to make it work. you’re very friendly with kabukimono! you had no trouble bonding with him and he very happy to have you join them as his mama. he’s a bit shy calling you this, but you tell him you don’t mind. in the end, he can’t say it to you but he thinks very highly of you..

soon enough, you have sex with niwa in attempts to get through your marriage duties and have a child. but it’s not working… you haven’t gotten pregnant despite months of trying. you feel a bit down about it, but try not to make a big deal out it. “it’s fine,” you think, “we can just try again another time.” but next time doesn’t come for a long time, and you start thinking niwa has given up on you. it makes you frustrated. it’s not like you specifically missed having sex with niwa, but you did miss having that release.. the feeling of cum in your tummy and the shivers you got from feeling it slowly drip out..

at the same time, kabukimono is having his own dilemma. he’s heard the two of you have sex plenty of times. often, he’d intentionally eavesdrop just to hear your sweet moans. it made him feel things he’s never felt before. it felt good, even if it ached. he doesn’t see you the same way he did before. all the love he has for you is mixed with lust now. all the little dreams he had about having dinner together is replaced with imagining how’d you look with his cock stuffed inside of you. before, kabukimono didn’t think of anyone or anything in particular when masturbating, but now it’s all you.

and how lucky is he to catch you masturbating. he was quick to pick up on the lack of sex you had with niwa. it was such a shame he lost masturbation material, but if niwa was going to neglect you, he’d just take his spot. how could he deny your release. he knocks slowly as to not scare you. and when you open the door with a flushed face, he lays his heart on the line. confessing his dirty thought, promising to make you feel good since niwa wasn’t !

and maybe you’re not thinking clearly, brain muddled with the need to cum, but you agree. pulling him into the room quickly, thanking the archons that niwa wouldn’t be home for hours, you pull him into your needy cunt. you shiver as his cock stretches you out, whimpering as the head of cock practically kisses your womb.

kabukimono is just as excited, cock drilling into your pussy. he’s thanking you with every thrust, body pressed so close to yours it makes you dizzy. he kisses you, staring into your eyes, wondering if that was okay. he’s so happy when you return his kiss, lips chasing after his when he pulls away. “i’m.. gonna cum.” he tries to pull out, but you lock your legs around his waist, pulling his cock deeper inside.

“‘s okay. you can cum inside mommy. you can make me real mommy too with your baby.”

it drives him crazy. his thrusts grow more frantic, trying to make your wishes a reality. his mommy wants to have his baby.. he wants it too. wants to get you nice and pregnant. you’ll look so cute and round, plump full with his baby. he cums with a yelp, tears brimming his eyes as he shoots rope after rope of cum inside of you. it hurts to see it trickle down but when you promise there’s still time to fill you back up, his cock twitches back to life, ready and willing.

niwa doesn’t even think about how you’ve stopped asking to have sex. it’s not a big deal to him. after all, your marriage was one of convenience and if you didn’t want sex, that was fine by him. he does however, notice how much close you’ve gotten to kabukimono. it makes him happy to see that you all can still hold some semblance of a family.

what he doesn’t notice are the hushed whispers and sneaking around you two do. doesn’t notice how you hold kabukimono’s hand when the two of you go out on walks, or the kisses you give him when kabukimono does something cute. he especially doesn’t notice how hard you’re trying to keep the cum kabukimono just pumped inside of you from dripping out.

and when you start forming a little baby bump? well, maybe his last time with you was successful after all (not).

[roosterbruiser]

⭐⭐

Two stars because I wanna know about two thingsss: 1. Your favorite scene in the Fuck-verse AND 2. Mafia Bobby 🥺

awww TWO stars?? honored!!

for Fuck: The Universe, my favorite scene would have to be from Fuck It! I feel like it really shouldn't come as that much of a surprise--I really poured my entire fucking heart into that part!! of course, it's when Wisteria is talking to Ice before Jake visits!

I bawled writing that conversation and when I look back on it, I'm immensely proud of it. I think if I had to pick a certain scene specifically it would be:

"I'm scared," you admit.

It's the most honest you've been with him in week. Honestly, it's the most honest anyone's been with him in weeks. And Ice relishes in that honesty for a moment. It's such a simple thing to tell him, but he knows that it was hard for you to say it. There's that courage you've always had, the one that makes you tough enough to fly F-18s.

I'm not. Ice smiles very gently. Lived well. Loved good.

There are already tears clouding your vision. You nod, sniffing, but continue.

"Are you ready, dad?"

He thinks for a moment. Of course he isn't ready to leave you--any of you. He's going to miss cashmere blankets and the sun on his face. He's going to miss the scent of leather and good Scotch. He's going to miss Sarah's snores and playing charades after big dinners. But he's been sick for a long time; he's tired.

I'm tired. Ice nods, sighing before continuing. Don't feel good.

You nod. You keep nodding. He knows you're about to crack. And he's right--as soon as you bring your hands up, your lips begin to quiver. A few tears stream down your face.

"I'm not ready for you to go."

Ice already knows this. He knows. And it's a strange sort of pleasure and pain that fills him up that someone has finally said it. All of you, his sweet women, have been putting on brave faces for him. Telling him that you understand, that it's okay. But here you are, being so honest with him the way you used to be, the way you've been trying to hold back.

You're proper weeping now, sniffling and wiping your eyes with your shirtsleeve. You're blinking at this force of a man, this man that used to carry you on his shoulders around Top Gun and let you sit in his jet, and feeling an overwhelming loss wash over you. Time is running out. You both know it. And you're not ready for him to go. You're really, really not.

I know. Ice signs, shaking his head softly. But you're gonna have to be.

I mean.....what more can I say besides ouch?

and mafia!Bobby!!! I truly didn't think people would like him so much!! I guess taking that mafia class really paid off in the end, didn't it?

the image of Bob smoking a cigar, blood dotting his sleeves, watching you be a brat....PHEW......

And when he came through the heavy French doors of the library where you've been perched on the sofa waiting for him, he merely pressed a chaste kiss to your head and slumped on the couch to light up a Cuban stogie.

"Thought I said c'mere," Bob says, blowing that thick white smoke from his bitten lips as he tilts his head at you. "Deaf or somethin', baby doll?"

He stares at you. He knows you're upset--you're not exactly one that can hide your emotions, especially when they're because of him. You're in a fantastic dress, one that he would love to run his hands over and then promptly rip off your body, and there are still heels strapped to your feet. You've even painted your nails and done your hair up real nice. He knows, just from looking at you, that you put time and effort into getting ready for the date that he cancelled on a short phone call. He really didn't want to--it was something that was out of his control--but duty really did call.

I would honestly consider writing another part to this if it's something people wanted!!

send me a ⭐ if you want my commentary on a certain story! or send in a part you want me to give commentary on!

[sometimesiammybpd]

okay so part 2 of the post i made yesterday as of writing. still not feeling any better. i don't know. i feel guilty. i feel like i had no right to cut them off and it's kinda eating at me in ways i don't understand but also do?? it's just driving me insane. but as i do best, i will be pushing it down deep after this post. (/hj.)

the post i wrote about the first friend, which you can view here, was more straightforward in terms of what caused the friendship to reach the end and why i had to say i can't do this and cut them off. doesn't make it easy at all to deal with, but. yeah. the other friend, whom i will actually name because there's unfortunately a lot to talk about, is way less straightforward. going forward, i'm gonna refer to them as blake. me and blake both met before either one of us was 18. it was actually during the high school era that i've mentioned prior. blake and i met through a mutual friend group on xbox. the friend group was incredibly toxic and disgusting in so many ways, so it makes it kinda ironic that for a while that was the one good thing to come out of it. for reference, the FG was incredibly racist, extremely far-right, homophobic / transphobic, sexist / misogynistic, basically of the things you think of once you hear "extremely far-right." their most notable contributions were consistently using the hard r n-word for a bunch of white men, bullying others because they got sick kicks out of it, and . . . something i'll go into in a second. mainly because this is the only time i'll ever talk about this in detail. i hate all of them so much, so it's not that enjoyable for me to have to bring it up a bunch lol. but yeah, me and blake met in this group. the honest reason it got the two of us connected was that we were the only two to not participate in anything the group did, outside of playing games with them. and as they told me at one point, what interested them about me was i was so different from the rest of them. their notable moment was when everyone was screaming their heads off like a bunch of 15-16 y/os do when playing call of duty while i was chilling playing tetris because i hate call of duty. that still stands by the way. would rather play tetris, portal, celeste, etc., than ever willingly play COD or fortnite because that was also one of their big hits.

anyways, we started to distance ourselves from the group and got closer with each other after a while. ESPECIALLY after the incident as i call it. well, two, but one is not my story to tell. the one i can talk about was the most fucked up thing i've ever experienced besides the overwhelming amount of pedos i had to deal with in the community i was in at that time. what they did was they started a call with everyone and invited me and blake to it. and once everyone was in and they got settled in, someone got the bright idea to suggest all of them roleplay the holocaust. and yes, i'm being completely serious. one of them was hitler. a few portrayed the ss. a few were regular jewish people and one person in particular wanted to RP being put in a gas chamber and being murdered from it. if you're going "what the honest fuck am i reading," imagine how it felt to have them play it out in real time. we both left the call a few minutes into them starting this because there was no way in hell we'd support that and we couldn't call them out because none of them took that lightly. so we just left and let them do whatever the fuck they thought was appropriate. and that's how a lot of our early friendship went. us getting closer because we'd rather hang 1 on 1 than be a part of that group. and eventually we both left the group.

our friendship started to fall apart soon after, but this is kinda where the sunk cost fallacy set in and neither one of us really wanted to end it. we fought, a lot. it was always caused by a mix of them being so stubborn and unwilling to listen to me about anything that the second i mentioned i had a problem, they'd start either blaming me OR forcing me to listen to what they believed to be the solution without me being able to say a word AND my toxicity. this was right around when i lost almost all my friends because none of them could stand being around me anymore, so it makes sense that we fought a lot. but it also carried over into me trying to change. they always said they weren't, but they were in the camp of people saying they believe i changed while in reality treating me like i never can, which was ALSO a big part of the arguments and fights we'd have. the one i still remember in detail was after i had lost almost everyone and finally had to go to my therapist and say "i need to change. i need to actually put in the work because i don't want to lose anyone else." give it about 6 months and the fight happened. it was caused because i wrote a post on my instagram venting. i admittedly had less of a platform to stand on in hindsight than i wanted to pretend in the moment, but the post went something like this:

i am so fucking done with everyone. it's so unfair of all of them to tell me to fuck off basically and that i never own up to anything or take responsibility or whatever and yet i've never heard them own up to anything they've done. i cannot fucking be 100% in the wrong all the time and i seriously wish people would stop treating me like it. how do you expect me to change when this is how everyone acts towards me?

something like that. it was definitely longer but i don't have the og post anymore. not that that really matters, but it gets the point across lol. like i said. i don't think i had the footing that i thought i did back then in hindsight. i had barely made any progress when i wrote that post. and i mean. what i said was true and it's something i still deal with to this day, but yeah. blake saw the post. i had turned comments off because it was a vent post. i didn't want to hear what others had to say because i just needed to get it out of my head. blake didn't care, though. they dm'd me within minutes saying (paraphrased):

"maybe if you actually put in the work to change, grew up, and stop making mistakes, they'd stop blaming you."

i remember them saying that to me so vividly. it's not word for word, but it was what stuck with me because i almost cut them off then. like that hurt me. even with how i view it now, i still know how i felt then. i just fucking wanted to be heard. i wanted someone to actually listen to me and not just dismiss me because i was toxic or whatever. because i felt so fucking alone. and this was / is one of my biggest standing issues with blake. they always dismissed me and sided with others, except for a few specific occasions. which btw, it's worth mentioning this was when nathan came into my life. it was . . . i think a few months after us first meeting, but around that time. this is the segue into the next part.

i mentioned in the post about him that i had a friend that went and spoke to nathan when i couldn't. when i mentally and physically couldn't because i was on the brink of suicide or because of the paragraphs of accusations effectively that got sent to me the one day by nathan. blake was that friend. and i don't wanna downplay that. the friendship had its moments where it actually was decent. the two specific moments (as mentioned above) were some of the few times blake actually treated me like a proper friend. i really really appreciated them for going to nathan on the day i wanted to die and talking to them for me because nathan was telling me "if i ignored them, they'd kill themselves." and i do remember that conversation they had because blake tried to get them to see they were an alcoholic and admit it because it was causing more problems than good anything . . . to which, they didn't. they actually shut up and stopped responding once the alcoholism got raised. either way, it was a moment of good. and it's one of the reasons why this was so hard for me because every moment wasn't bad. and i don't want to paint it like blake was a demon or something. when blake tried, they tried. the main issue is that they didn't really want to 95% of the time. but the friendship got a bit stronger after nathan, until it crashed again. then it got stronger . . . just to crash again. and that was the cycle.

i do something to certain people (nothing toxic) if i can't stand to be around you. or even talk to you. like you set me off so much, that your presence alone sets me off basically. i delete the dms completely. i don't delete dms unless it gets to that point, or we just drift apart naturally. and the amount of times i had to delete blake's dms on instagram because i couldn't stand to even see their name anywhere close to my dms is insane. genuinely for me, our dms never went longer than 6 months at the most because i'd end up getting set off by them again and again and then deleting the dms to get away. and what i came to realize by the end of it was that anything they did would set me off (by the end). it had been the same fucking cycle over and over and over that the second the arguments even seemed to start, i couldn't take it. and that has us arrive to now, the final breaking point for me.

a few days ago, i finished the bridge on the song i've been writing. see this post if you wanna read more about it. and i'm really really happy with the mostly-final lyrics. the way the song is structured is at the end of chorus 2, the singer's ex-friend who had tried and tried to put up with them and get them to realize they needed to change finally had enough and left, which sends the singer into a mental breakdown-fueled spiral. i'm going to show the lyrics in context, but i want it to be known before you read them that it's supposed to be extremely fucked up on purpose. the things the singer says, i never said to anyone. yes the singer is somewhat a portrayal of myself from that time of my life, but it's mainly supposed to show that they are grasping at straws to justify why they aren't at fault; why it has to be someone else's fault that everything has fallen apart and why they're losing people.

okay here's the lyrics:

[chorus - the other side] choose to blame us for a life you made it’s being held accountable that’s got you so afraid as you kept digging a hole that’s too deep your toxicity is the only thing you want to keep i’m finally done, i’m wiping my hands clean you mattered to me until this became your routine what’s best for me doesn’t mean you’ll get closure i hoped you would change, you can’t see it’s over [bridge - the singer] i hope you understand the decision you’ve made cause it seemed to be so easy for you to throw me away so go kill yourself, end your stupid meaningless life to me you’re just a worthless bitch who deserves to fucking die you’ll blame me for everything when it’s all because of you i’m just a liar here to support your perfect worldview trash me behind your back, turn me into your martyr whatever helps your ego grow larger and larger do you even comprehend the situation we’re in or is it your toxicity that thinks you aren’t a has-been you should be terrified that you don’t feel any shame would your younger self be okay with who you became look around, you’re the only fucking noticeable thread instead of learning from your mistakes, you’d rather be dead do you even have a conscience or are you really this hopeless  your time is running out, accept it’s time for you to confess

i put the last two stanzas in bold because the way i also wrote the bridge is that the first two is the singer and the second two is the voice in their head finally speaking up. finally going "you are the problem," which was the wake-up moment for me (not that it wasn't there, but that i couldn't ignore it any longer).

i sent these to blake because i was and am really proud of these lyrics. and the response i got was "this better not be about me because i'll cry." that genuinely took me aback. so i responded, word for word, with:

why in the hell would you think this is towards anyone 💀 i would never willingly tell someone to kill themselves

and what response did i get?

idfk girl i've been working all day im not exactly trying to think on my break

in case it's not clear, that's a bad response. it's an objectively bad response. i don't take it lightly when i'm even being "jokingly" accused of telling someone to off themselves ESPECIALLY NOT IN THIS CASE. and what really went through my mind was the confirmation that they really see me that way. because why would you say anything close to "this better not be about me" if you didn't believe that i might actually do that. i never responded to that message because i knew if i were to say anything, it'd be so disgusting and toxic that it was beyond not worth it and i didn't wanna go down that road again. because that seriously set me the fuck off. i didn't initally even do anything but after a couple hours, i said fuck it. i didn't want to be a part of this friendship anymore. that was the final straw. so i removed both of them from my followers, my friends list on discord, and other things we were friends on.

i don't know. maybe i should have said something. maybe not? all i know is i feel broken. i am so tired of having to end friendships and give up because i can't get friends that actually care about me. and that's just also how it feels about my overall life. it just sucks. i don't know.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Chained wolves

@jankwritten here it is

.

If there was ever a scene Nico didn't want to ruin, it was this. He was sprawled across Jason's lap on the outskirts of Camp.

Away from prying eyes.

It was their little spot, even the nymphs didn't bother them here.

Jason was leaning against a tree, his fingers brushing through Nico's hair with a soft smile.

Nico smiled back at him, cascaded in sunshine and Jason's smile.

Nico could stay here forever if he could.

But alas duty calls.

"It's time" he said Jason with a sigh. Jason somehow smiled even more warmly, like he had been blessed by Apollo himself.

"Have fun"

Nico snorted, it was some errand his dad needed his 'expertise with.'

"I'll try. I shouldn't be long, only a couple hours or so. Will you stay here?" Asked Nico, tilting his head.

"I promise" says Jason earnestly, sky blue orbs boring into his molten. Nico smiles, getting to his feet and pecking Jason on the cheek.

Before vanishing into shadows.

________________

Jason watched the spot Nico had left, unable to take his eyes off it.

He had slumped against the tree but it was as if all his bones had left with Nico.

Her voice was soft as it always was, but their was a hint of fear.

... No...

'Will you stay here'

"We're going to play a game Jason, a game you love those don't you?"

He didn't want to play.

He was cold

"You're gonna stay here love, right here for mama. Like a good little boy, and when mama comes back you win."

Numbness descended into his veins.

There was a chill in the air yet it was bright and sunny.

"Promise me baby, promise me Jason you'll stay here. Right here, do not move an inch of you'll lose."

He wanted to scream.

'I promise.'

"I promise mama."

He heard howls.

He felt claws snag his body, one far to small to be him.

Far too frail.

Far too afraid.

Your mother's not coming, pup.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Jason wondered why he couldn't move.

_____________

Nico sighed.

Typical.

His quick errand to the Underworld hadn't been nearly as quick as he had been assured.

He didn't voice his complaints but his mood was sour and everyone knew it.

Not that they said anything.

Demigod or not Nico was still the Ghost King.

Hades had been apologetic but it did little too soothe Nico's mood.

They'd stopped for a while, hopefully he was nearly done.

He'd been gone for almost a week, and in his haste and the severe lack of rainbow making equipment.

("I'm sorry I didn't come prepared to stay here this long, dad!")

Nico hadn't been able to contact Jason.

Jason hadn't tried contacting him but that didn't suprise Nico very much. His boyfriend was a stickler for the rules, even if he was making his way out of his shell.

Being raised in a military setting did that to a guy.

And the idea of taking Nico's attention from a errand his father, Lord Hades himself has personally asked him for?

Jason wouldn't dream of interrupting.

He was cute like that.

Nico took out the drachma and spray bottle his father had handed him moments prior.

Better late than never.

Percy's face lit up the screen, he was sat by the lake with Annabeth at his side. Both seemed to be debating something before Percy waved at him.

"Hey Nico, how's the trip been? Has dear old uncle requested my return?" He grinned, Nico snorted

After... Everything he and Percy had a talk. A real and much needed talk.

They had grown from it and Percy had supported him in confessing to Jason, he was so happy for them he almost cried.

His friendship with Annabeth had also begun to bloom, after many afternoons of fondly watching their significant dorks being dorks together.

"Nah I think you've been banned for the foreseeable future." Grinned Nico, Percy pouted before snorting.

Annabeth shook her head, amused "you just calling to check in or is something up?"

Perceptive as usual.

"Yeah I was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind telling Jason I'll be back soon."

It'd be a lil suprise and give him a chance to go run to the nearest shop and get those mini chocolate chip cookies Jason adored.

As a 'I'm sorry I left for so long' gift.

That and cuddles.

"Nico"

Percy was all wide eyed and panicked.

"We thought Jason went with you" He finished slowly.

Nico blinked "what? No, this was just a Ghost King thing my dad wanted..." He trailed off, eyes sharp.

"He's not at Camp?"

Annabeth shook her head "we haven't seen him since you left....we thought he was with you... I wonder if he went to Camp Jupiter? We can IM Reyna or Hazel if you'd like?"

Nico shook his head "no its okay, I'll IM myself. Thanks, see you guys." He waved a hand through their image before either could say goodbye.

Guilt pooled in Nico's stomach.

Although he was saddened by the news, he understood.

Nice had been gone way longer than he had said so.

Jason while someone who frequented Camp Half-blood, his home was at Camp Jupiter and it made sense for him to leave.

But the fact he hadn't told anyone was what struck Nico, Jason always told at least 5 people where he was going at any given time.

Again, being raised in a military setting does that you.

Nico shook his head before IMing Jason.

The scene he saw shocked him.

Jason was at Camp all right.

Exactly where Nico had left him.

He was curled up against the tree, in his camp shirt and jeans just as he had been before.

His soft wavy hair was a mess, like someone had struck him with lighting... His hands clenching his locks tightly.

Nico didn't so much say Jason's name but scream it.

"Jason!"

Jason rolled his head limply, as if it took all his strength to do so.

Eyes blinking blearily and reaching for his glasses that had dropped to the floor.

Jason who was careful about everything abd never let a speck of dust touch his frames, put the now frankly filthy lenses on his face.

It did little to calm Nico down.

His face was nothing but horror.

Jason squinted and faced Nico.

"Nico" he said softly.

It would be so endearing if not for the present situation.

But Nico forced himself to be calm.

"Jason, hey sweetie. What, what are you doing out here?"

Jason nodded, moving his arm from around his waist to tap the tree. And Nico tried not to cringe as his bones popped.

"Promised"

Nico stared at him wide eyed.

... No... No he wouldn't have.

But their was no mistaking Jason's crumpled and unkempt appearance.

"Jason... How.. How long have you been out here hun?"

Jason, who had been zoning out during Nico's inner panic raised his head to look at him.

Letting Nico see the bags under his eyes.

The sheen of what must've been tear tracks on his face.

"You went, I stay. I promised."

He nods, though Nico doesn't miss the wince he makes at moving.

"Jase... I didn't mean out here. Just at Camp." Explains Nico, he can feel his heartbreaking.

Jason looks for all the world like a kicked puppy.

A gust of wind blows past and he shivers, his lips a startling shade of blue.

"You said stay, I promised. I won't... I won't go... I won't run, not again..." Mumbles Jason.

His body starts to fall and in seconds Nico is kneeling before him, catching him in his arms.

Nico takes off his jacket, settling on Jason's shoulders to give him some warmth.

The sunshine of their last encounter is long forgotten hidden in the clouds and roaring winds.

"I won't leave you..."

Jason looks up at him, eyes glazed like he's not entirely seeing Nico.

... Which means someone hurt Jason.

Hurt him to the point a simple promise of stay meant plant your feet to the ground and don't move.

Nico would them pay even if it threathed another war.

For now... For now Jason came first.

Nico held him in his arms, letting Jason know he was here.

"Hey, I'm not mad at you sweetie. But we've gotta get you outta this weather, I've got you hun but I need you to stand for me."

Jason, bless his heart stood up on wobbly legs looking like a newborn deer and would've fallen if not for Nico.

And by the God's he wasn't even wearing shoes.

"That's it sweetheart, I've got you." He said picking Jason up bridal style.

Jason slumped in his arms, as they shadow traveled to the infirmary.

______________

Jason was out like a light and Nico sat on one of the chairs, brushing his hair from his face.

It hasn't been good.

Will had confirmed it from examining Jason that he hadn't moved from his spot since Nico had left.

Jason was a survivor, he'd had it drilled into his bones and had somehow managed to nab fruit from the tree but it hadn't been much.

Frankly it was a miracle he was alive.

He was swaddled in thick warm blankets and had some sort of IV in his arm.

There was also Leo, who had stormed in once news broke. Took one look at his best friend and crawled into his bed, holding him close and hoping to raise his temperature.

Jason had yet to wake up, but he was so clearly emotionally and physically exhausted it made sense.

Nico didn't dare leave his side.

Questions plagued him, and maybe he had been thinking out loud because Leo looked up at him.

"Did he make a promise?"

Nico nodded numbly, still shaken.

Leo wasn't angry like Nico expected, he looked upset and held Jason even closer.

"Oh Jase..."

"Do you... Do you know why he..."

He couldn't finish the thought but Leo understood.

"Normally I wouldn't say but... Yeah. Soo... When Jason was around 2 years old his mum gave him up as a sacrifice to Lupa. To make sure Jason stayed in place for the wolves to get him... She made him promise to stay in place till she came back."

If Nico's heart had broken earlier, it shattered in that moment.

Jason than whimpered... Whimpered and Nico gently kissed his cheek and ran his fingers through his hair while Leo cuddled him close.

Jason calmed, drifting back into unconsciousness as Nico fell heavily into his seat.

He hadn't known..

He hadn't known and he didn't blame Jason one bit.

He was definitely taking a trip to wherever his mother hand ended up, because he knew the woman was dead.

A mercy from the fates because Nico would have destroyed her himself if she still breathed.

How dare... How dare anyone do that to their baby.

To traumatise your baby to the point he was terrified of breaking promises and made himself sit outside in the cold alone for 7 days because he was terrified of being abandoned.

"I've got you Jason" said Nico, holding his hand in his.

He was going to be with him every step of the way.

He was going to show Jason he would never be abandoned again.

He was going to hold him when he broke down and reassure him everytime this wasn't his fault.

He was going to be specific and careful wit his wording and make sure Jason understood... And have someone with him when Nico had to leave.

Jason had held Nico, helped him heal from his past and Nico would return that favour tenfold.

"I promise."