#you're free to ignore this

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

Leon x ships (and why I don’t support anything other than aeon)

THIS IS MY OPINION, you are free to ignore this. But these are my particular reasonings as to why I do not enjoy the other ships for Leon and why I find them incredibly problematic. 

❤️ Aeon (Leon x Ada) 

I started this blog because I fell in love with the ship. It has the right amount of hurt/comfort that I was desiring at the time, and when I really broke down all the intricacies of the ship, I couldn’t get over it. 

To get things as crystal clear as possible. MOST AEON shippers do not think that aeon is a healthy relationship. It’s very much a push and pull of two people that realistically shouldn’t be together but find each other in each other’s lives. 20 years were spent to work through this “relationship.” (think batman and catwoman)

re2 we have the meeting. The way they gravitate towards each other, but the way that Leon changes Ada. Only when she realizes that he’s simply a good person wanting to do the good thing, she struggled to finish what she needed to do. Which was HER JOB. It’s not too far to say that she WOULD’VE maybe been killed if she didn’t complete her job. She’s not in a safe position. People don’t realize that. When Ada “dies,” a part of Leon dies with him. 

re4 we have another meeting. Leon’s hurt. He’s confused and all of sudden Ada is alive again. He had years of mental anguish and survivors guilt. He holds a lot of resentment towards her. And yet Ada still finds the desire and need to want to protect him. She protects him during her entire campaign. (Play Separate ways before speaking to me..) and at the end, he lets her go with the virus. He doesn’t want this to happen but he can’t stop her. They leave each other in less that desirable circumstances. But he still doesn’t stop her.

off screen re5 we have simply, “the night,” they spend together. Romantic, maybe in a hotel. How we go from re4 to this is never expanded on and since it’s off screen, we’re only here to speculate on what could’ve happened. (They had sex) which is implied in-

re damnation “the sexy one.” a film in which they simply flirt with each other the entire time. The “so when are we going to um, carry on from where we left off that night?”

“So you missed me huh?” Even in this film, we have Ada saving Leon AGAIN. “You owe me one,” before she’s off again.

we have to remember that between re4 and damnation there’s SEVERAL YEARS for them to have potential other meetings that are simply not explored on screen.

more time passes and we have re6 “the aeon fanservice one.” I won’t go into too much detail for this one, but re6 aeon is still superior to me. we have established a sexual relationship at this point, we don’t know if they’ve explored more, and yet Leon’s willing to jump off a burning building the second he see’s Ada needing help? This is the Leon we know. Also they just have each other’s contacts at this point?? They leave again and this is the final time we see them together in the franchise. 

“See you down the road, Leon.”

❌ cleon (Leon x Claire)

Now to be completely honest. I DON’T HATE THE SHIP. I think it’s a delusional one, but the main reason I dislike the ship a lot, is actually because of the shippers. It’s a constant, “claire better,” fight. (I don’t have to say that Claire is a shitty character for me to not ship them etc. which seems to be the core of what cl*on shippers do, which is *drumroll* shit on Ada.)

And I find that most of these shippers are younger, white, and conservative and or naive. And also tend to lack in their abilities to read characterizations and understanding the complexities of morality. 

The shippers have lowkey ruined the character of Claire for me. And I always thought she was a cute character. Not my favourite, but she’s fine. I just never thought of her characterization or storyline to be particularly interesting. But what I do find interesting to me that most Leon x Reader fics simply have a character similar to Claire written in as reader instead.

The idea of two morally good characters together is simply not as interesting to me. It’s always been like this. They are not pulled to each other in a sexual or romantic way which is why I mostly think the ship is delusional. There are SEVERAL instances of this.

Claire does flirt with Leon briefly in re2r. However it’s very clear on Leon’s side that he does not read it as flirting. He barely spends any time with her, and at the end of it, Claire suggests that it “would’ve been one hell of a date,” not knowing that Leon spent more time with Ada for the entire duration of re2r. 

I don’t count degeneration since there’s a weird moment with Angela which I also don’t really count since she’s never heard of again. 

The only other time is infinite darkness. In which Leon refers to her as “a kid.” And that he doesn’t see her “as a woman.” OR to put it more clearly, he does not see her as a love interest. Not to mention the one scene cleon stans cream themselves over, in which Claire falls on top of Leon, where she’s like visibly disgusted. 

And to put the cherry on top, at the end of infinite darkness, they are no longer on speaking terms, and or no longer friends from what we can see. I’ll give cleon shippers one thing. They had a potential moment. “A dinner,” that could’ve happened and yet Claire and Leon both do not see eye to eye. They disagree morally (which is actually interesting) and so they separate. And as for the timeline now, they are no longer friends.

One final note, is that I find cleon shippers INCREDIBLY racist and misogynistic. OBVIOUSLY NOT ALL OF THEM. But all men, until it’s not all men. A large portion of cleon shippers use Ada is a scapegoat for their ship. Painting Ada as a sexual, manipulative, con woman that “steals,” Leon away from Claire. It’s so laughable when Leon was never Claire’s. 

When you have to resort to pinning women against other women, then I just simply do not care to interact with that. 

I also find the whole “caring mother figure,” to be incredibly gross. It’s the same kind of incel talk that guys use to declare what is desirable in a woman. That if you’re not good at being a mother, caring, nurturing etc. Then you’re just NOT DESIRABLE. That being a “pure, wholesome, good girl” is the only reason why you deserve a man, is something YOU need to work out on your own. Maybe do some soul searching on why you think that’s the only reason why you deserve love. 

❌  Leon x Ashley

Similarly, Leon speaks of Ashley as “a young girl,” or a “kid.” “Is this what they’re teaching kids these days?” He does not see her as a love interest. Sure, Ashley does flirt with him a lot. Who wouldn’t?

But at the end of the day, Ashley is a 21 year old girl in university. Still figuring out her life and what she wants. While Leon is a 27 year old trained special agent, whose boss is Ashley’s FATHER. Sure you can get into that fantasy all you want. I totally get that and I’ve been into that ship before. And as you age, oh boy does that ship dynamic not age well. 

There are huge age gap and dynamics that will not work. And I totally get people wanting that type of ship. But it’s REALLY GROSS FOR ME. 

But again, Leon turns her down multiple times, and rejects her as well. Ashley is also no longer seen in the canon.

❌  Leon x Helena

NOW BEFORE PEOPLE SAY ANYTHING. I ACTUALLY DON’T HATE THE SHIP. It’s when it comes down to the fact they have a 12 year age gap that makes me a bit barfy. But furthermore that Helena is younger than SHERRY.

Now if I were to exclude the age gap, I think that they’re VERY HOT. I really enjoy Helena’s character model and them in re6 is SO FUCKING FINE. BUT yup, I can’t get over that age gap. But one of the main issues is that Helena is also canonically an aeon shipper. Which I kind of find adorable? It definitely adds to the aeon storyline in re6.

Helena being 24, while at this point Leon is 36-37. And during re6, Sherry is 26-27. And KEEP IN MIND. When Leon met Sherry, he was 21 and SHE WAS 12.

So when Leon was 21, Helena would’ve been 9 YEARS OLD.

And I won’t even justify Leon x Sherry because

When Leon met Sherry, he was 21 and SHE WAS 12.

And all other ships I honestly do not care for or think are fine.

I’m also supportive of Chreon, metaltango, serrenndy. I read them occasionally but I’m just not that personally emotionally invested in them. I find them cute, and I support people who want to write lgbtq ships. Also chreon shippers are typically also Aeon shippers and I find they mingle well together in the same spaces sometimes.

[userparamore]

#someone get this man his glasses 🥸🤨

[marzipanandminutiae]

tumblr when mental illness makes you withdraw from company: nobody has the right to expect anything of you! take care of yourself! if they don't forgive you and act like nothing happened when you come back into the world, it's on them, not you! it's so very kind of you if you deign to try and overcome this for the sake of those annoying, awful people, but you don't have to if you don't want to! poor lamb!

tumblr when mental illness makes you need reassurance that people don't hate you: you should work on that. you should learn to compromise. expecting anyone on the other side to expend even a little bit of effort to help you is selfish and horrible. maybe just die actually

(NOTE: THE POINT HERE IS THAT BOTH SIDES DESERVE A DEGREE OF GRACE FROM OTHERS AND BOTH SIDES SHOULD WORK ON THEIR ISSUES. I hate that I have to explain it, but this is the Piss on the Poor website, so...)

[shenzhiheng]

pathetic wet men collection (43/?)

[ayo-edebiri]

#Phil Dunster acts around Brett Goldstein like men act around Andrew Garfield....

[qcomicsy]

Sometimes I feel like only Peter Parker gets how humbling it is to be poor jesus christ. I am enjoying my time despite not being my cup of tea (I am a dialogue person, I love dialogue I love dialogue as a dog loves little delicious treats. 60's comics unfortunately do not have the best kind of dialogues). But I am enjoying it, almost as a concept, hecause Stan Lee and Robin Dikto do not have the fear to show a pathetic little man, they don't have the embarrassment of showing your hero getting rejected by the girl, forgetting to let his suit dry and having to wear a wet scrunky suit, showing him being arrogant, being annoying, a very very antisocial guy.

I think reading so so many comics where it's clear how much the writers are trying to make the hero sound cool, the smartest, handsomest and smoothies guy in the room.

Peter is kind of a breath of fresh air. He gets it, he really does. He's not cool, he's not there yet. He's a kid doing dumb shit. Trying to do better, failing and failing and trying. No wonder so many people who got to read his comics as they were growing up hold Peter so close to their heart.

Because he's the proof you can try again, you can fuck up, in ten, twenty, thirty hell maybe forty years from now it won't matter. Just try again. Stand up. Try again.

@sciderman talks a lot about how Spider-Man is about reaching manhood and I've never get it, sure as a concept yes but I couldn't grasp why. Now I do.

It's not about waking up and being the man you should be, being responsible for having a cool montage of getting better and better. Nah it's the every day thing. Peter isn't (at least what I am getting of the comics while I read at my pace and time) the representation of becoming the power and responsability thing, he is the representation of having this as a goal. And trying each day.

[dootznbootz]

My childhood friend said that my Odysseus looks like a mix of Chappell Roan and Griffith from Berserk and that thought is killing me. It's too correct.

(Lovely doodle of my boy courtesy of the wonderful fellow trashcat @thehelplessmortals :3 )

[zerocybersickness]

thank you for nice comments...i read them all. here more of this guy ig

[silverwhittlingknife]

hi Silver! o/ because that fanart made me wonder - would you happen to know when/where Dick's stuffed elephant plush Zitka turns up in the comics?

GREETINGS CAM <3333 THAT ART WAS SO CUTE

Yeah, I think your instincts are right - it's a truly adorable bit of transformative fandom, but I'm 95% percent sure it's not comics canon. Barbara has canon plushies, but I don't think anyone else does.

I got kinda invested in the investigation (it's hard to prove a negative!) and I ended up typing out an entire History of Elinore/Zitka, so, uh, if you're curious, meet me below the cut for:

Where does Elinore / Zitka - the animal - appear in comics?

Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?

Where does Elinore / Zitka appear in comics?

We're gonna go in chronological order!

Dick's circus elephant friend was first created for practical reasons: in Batman 436, Marv Wolfman does a big expanded flashback to Dick's circus backstory as a way to subtly show us Tim before officially introducing him (so that we can have a technically-solvable mystery-of-Tim's-identity in LPoD). In this comic, there's an elephant named Elinore who loves Dick:

Aww. Such a cute elephant!

Batman 436 comes out in August 1989. New Titans 60 comes out a few months later, in November, and guess what? When Dick visits the circus, he is suddenly surprised by an unexpected blast from the past! It turns out that even though it's been years, Elinore still remembers him!

Here's the part where Elinore remembers Dick:

SUCH a cute elephant. I love her.

(Guess who else still remembers Dick even though it was so long ago. Guess which other character is about to be an unexpected blast from the past. Guess which character Elinore is directly paralleling guess guess guess sorry everything is about Dick and Tim in my mind but I can focus I swear)

Four years later, in 1993, Batman: The Animated Series retells Dick's origin story. They like and keep Wolfman's elephant, but they change her name to Zitka:

Wolfman doesn't return to the elephant beyond those two appearances, and a few years down the line, New Titans gets cancelled and Wolfman's not writing Dick anymore anyway. So the animal gets abandoned for a while, until Devin Grayson, a fan of both Wolfman and B:tAS, revives the Wolfman-era Titans team in JLA/Titans and then the ongoing series Titans 1999.

Grayson then brings back the elephant in a flashback to Dick's past in Titans 16 (Jun 2000), where she imports the B:tAS name. Sometimes I'm skeptical of TV-to-comics imports, but honestly, I endorse this one. You lose the alliteration, which is a shame, but IMO Zitka is a better elephant name than Elinore.

Here's Dick with the newly-christened Zitka in Titans 16:

Grayson also briefly references the elephant in Gotham Knights 20 and - in a final angsty callback - in Nightwing 88 (Feb 2004), where Zitka tries futilely to comfort Dick in the midst of his trauma conga line:

... And... honestly, I think that's it for comic appearances? The two Wolfman comics plus the three Grayson comics.

Both Wolfman and Grayson are writing multiple titles - Batman, New Titans, Titans, Gotham Knights, and Nightwing between the two of them, spanning a big chunk of Dick's post-Crisis canon - and both writers use the elephant for heartwarming moments of nostalgia, which means if you're doing a post-Crisis readthrough for Dick, Elinore/Zitka feels memorable. But I don't think she actually shows up that much.

For post-2011, I am not as well-informed - throwing this out to the dash? anyone know? - but I feel like Zitka the heartwarming symbol of Dick's heartwarming circus past is, uh, thematically very at odds with the Court of Owls evil!circus vibes, so my instinct is that this story element was almost certainly dropped in the reboot.

Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?

In WFA, yes; in main comics continuity, no. Technically, I have not read every comic ever published, so I could be wrong!! But I don't think so.

Below, find my rambling reasoning on the tonal vibes of pre-Crisis, post-Crisis, and post-2011, and why this particular story element doesn't seem right to me for the first two.

Pre-Crisis (...okay, mostly the Silver Age): stuffed animal, yes or no?

tl;dr no, requires too much background knowledge on the part of the reader, plus the elephant wasn't a thing until later

Elinore doesn't get created until post-Crisis, but also just generally, pre-Crisis callbacks are more along the lines of this reference in Batman 129 (published in 1960), where, wow, Batman and Robin are hunting jewel thieves - and it turns out Robin recognized this strongman! BUT HOW?!

The comic goes on to recap Dick's entire origin story in flashback, on the assumption that you may not know it.

(BTW, if you'd like to know more about Haly's Circus throughout the years, nightwingology has a great post here summarizing a lot of fun plotlines and characters!)

Basically: Silver Age comics are very self-consciously episodic and kid-friendly; they're not generally gonna do overly-elaborate callbacks because they don't know what comics their kid readers may have randomly picked up or remember.

By the time of post-Crisis, comic books were being written for an adult audience buying from the direct market, i.e. readers who are collecting whole runs & don't need or want Dick's origin story to be recapped to us in full every time it's referenced. That's why in post-Crisis, we get stuff like "hey, neat, this particular soda brand is getting mentioned in several different books!!" or "in order to understand this story arc, buy SIXTEEN DIFFERENT COMICS in FIVE DIFFERENT RUNS and read them ALL ACCORDING TO A NUMBERED ORDER and also you better be following the individual plotlines and recognize these five minor characters who we don't bother to introduce!! Good luck!!" But the elaborate post-Crisis plotlines - and subtler worldbuilding like a stuffed animal callback to Dick's backstory - don't make a lot of story sense UNLESS you're imagining your readers as completionist adult fans.

So IMO a stuffed animal wouldn't be a pre-Crisis thing unless it was The Episodic Story Of the Week, and I don't think a stuffed animal is action-adventure-y enough for the fast-paced storytelling of the Silver Age. (Unless it, like, came to life and tried to eat you or something.)

Post-Crisis: stuffed animals, yes or no?

tl;dr: no, Dick's a manly tough guy, he's not gonna have a stuffed animal, that'd be lame, like something Tim might do

Part of the edgy grimdark adult vibes in 80s/90s comics is that some characters who used to be kinda silly & goofy & lighthearted - like Batman and Robin - get reimagined as Serious and Angsty and Edgy in a Tough Cool Manly Brooding Way. This massively affects characterization for Bruce, Dick, and Bruce and Dick's relationship.

(I obviously love this change & love the tense Bruce-and-Dick interactions, but plenty of fans of the earlier fluffy comics really disliked the edgy retcons of Miller / Wolfman / Starlin / et al.)

The upshot is that post-Crisis is a period when you could have a recurring reference like a stuffed elephant, but you wouldn't have a stuffed elephant, not for Dick. I think a toy like that would be too cutesy / childish / effeminate to give a male character in post-Crisis, unless you were poking fun at him.

Now, you could probably let Tim have a stuffed animal, because Tim is sometimes cool but also sometimes a tryhard loser who is faking being cool and not entirely pulling it off (see e.g. the Robin comic where he practices tough-guy faces in the mirror, or the Teen Titans comic where Conner discovers his cringy Enya CD, or when he's fanboying over Connor and it's awkward, etc etc.). A stuffed animal would be deeply embarrassing, and you'd have to be careful to compensate by having Tim do something cool afterward - but Tim's character concept allows for "he's kind of a loser sometimes."

But Dick isn't!! In post-Crisis, Dick's a tough / impressive / "cool guy" character, the kind of guy anyone would want to be, even in the flashbacks where he's Robin, and even in the stories where he's more lighthearted than angsty. It'd be kinda lame for Dick to have a stuffed elephant, so he wouldn't. I feel like Dick would be more likely to poke fun at it if someone had one, like when he's making fun of Wally for liking the Hardy Boys. Dick could have a Batman action figure, at most, and if he had one he would have it ironically.

Basically: in post-Crisis, a male character hugging a stuffed elephant feels more likely to be a punchline to me, not something poignant. (Even with Tim, Tim could have an embarrassing stuffed animal, but he couldn't hug it when sad - that's too far. Maybe Booster Gold might do this. Probably he wouldn't, but spiritually, he would. Sorry Booster ilu! <3)

Instead, Dick instinctively deals with his inner turmoil like the TORTURED ACTION HERO he is: by punching things and brooding and yelling and joining the mob and sleeping on rooftops and going on obsessive secret missions and acquiring Angsty Stubble!! Just like Batman!

(Technically I don't know if Bruce ever joined the mob but you know he would.)

Anyway as you know this is my favorite continuity and I am poking fun affectionately, but uh, yeah sdfsfdsfs. No stuffed animals.

Post-2011 / Infinite Frontier / Wayne Family Adventures: stuffed animals, yes or no?

tl;dr it's in WFA! Probably not anywhere else, but it could be.

Post-2011 stuff tends to be cutesier overall, most of all in the current Infinite Frontier era. So I don't feel like this would be tonally out-of-line with IF comics. Taylor tends to go for more meme-y references rather than fanfic references, though.

So the obvious best fit is WFA, which is aiming for a rough approximation of Silver Age family-friendly vibes - wholesome, episodic plots, Teaching Good Moral Lessons For The Youth, etc. - plus lots of Easter eggs for fanfic readers and some comic references.

And look, here we are:

Aww.

Whew - that's everything I could find!

Anyway as you can probably tell, I LOVE the elephant, so this was a very entertaining rabbit hole to go down, thank you <3

[maylilithreign]

I don't like being paranoid, but I can't shake the feeling that the ask I got that's left me feeling this upset was from someone I know/am mutuals with.

If it was you, please be honest with me. I'd rather you say shit to my face any day of the week than leave me with suspicion and trust issues.

[irhabiya]

commit to antizionism or fuck off

[billy-royalton]

okay, before i go on this little tirade, i am going to try and make one thing clear: ao3 stats are not always a measure of whether a fic is Good, Actually or Not. i have read fics with less than 10 kudos that were amazing, and i have read fics with thousands of kudos that were...fine.

but let me tell you what stats are a good measure of: fandom engagement.

and so, with that in mind, i have a tiny little bone to pick with our fandom when it comes to fic.

our kudos to hits ratio is DISMALLY low and i struggle to find an answer as to why that is. we have some amazing writers in our fandom and yes, okay, you know me, i'm the BIGGEST champion of "write what you want because you want to write it and not for any other reason" so believe me that has not changed and i still believe that wholeheartedly. it's just WILD to see a majority of new fics in our fandom are getting a less than 10% kudos to hits ratio. especially when i read them and can see the love and effort the writer poured into it. like, that's just disheartening.

(and here, have some data! as of typing this, the first 20 fics under the cobra kai tag on ao3 have an average of 12 kudos and 263 hits. that's a 4.5% kudos to hits ratio. this is all ships all ratings all tags all works that have been updated as of today. if 10% is the expected average, we are just not hitting it.)

and the crazier thing is that we do so much as a fandom to celebrate creativity (ckhalloween, cksecretsanta, ckreversebang, cktkkffawards -- just to name a few)! it's one of the things i love about participating in this fandom! and sure, we are tiny compared to a lot of others and therefore i temper my expectations accordingly. but damn, we gotta stop reading fics in silence because authors will stop writing and move on to other fandoms where people will actively engage with their work.

february is our last hurrah (karate kid legends i am choosing to ignore you) and we'll probably lose some writers after that simply becaue there won't be any new content. so why not engage with the fandom while we still have fun toys to play with in our sandbox, right?

[sukibenders]

Summarizing Twitter and Tiktoks current climate: "Since you didn't stand in solidarity with me, I'm turning on you and going to the places that are actively assisting in your pain." + "While showing my true colors and expressing my fake activism, I'm also ignoring how I'm assisting in perpetuating a system that keeps me and others like me down as, for example, the places I go to that are assisting in your pain also assist in the pain of myself and others like me, but as long as I get to turn on you it's all good."

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Hi, I hope you don't mind this message, and idk if anyone else has told you, but there's this troll going around on Tumblr named @/freethepuppet. They claim to be “fighting for justice in the puppet industry”, but really they're just sending hateful and threatening messages to Welcome Home and My Friendly Neighborhood artists/fans.

I myself have receive multiple death threats from this person, and they have sent threats to many of my friends over the matter, some of which are minors.

Because of this issue, I have decided to keep myself and my friends anonymous, especially considering the fact that @/freethepuppet intends to send threats to PartyCoffin himself, along with the creator behind My Friendly Neighborhood.

I just wanted to warn you about this person, so that you can block and report them, as well has tell others in the community about the troll. If you decide to ignore this, then that's fair and I respect your decision.

In any case, I hope you and your friends stay safe. Best of luck!!

blocked! thanks for letting me know! to add on to this, a little advice for everyone:

Don't Engage With This Person At All!

Don't Look At Their Stuff, Don't Respond To Messages, Don't @ Them Or Give Them The Time Of Day. Just Go Block Them And Let Them Exhaust Their Own Hate

[lost-in-fandoms]

slept in braids 🫶🫶🫶

cw: mentions of explicit sexual content, both Max and Daniel are girls

The other half of the bed is empty when Max wakes up, and she can hear the coffee machine she only keeps for Daniel and for guests spluttering to life in the kitchen.

She takes one moment to breathe in the scent of sex and Daniel still permeating the sheets before she gets up, tugging a discarded t-shirt over her underwear, giving up the search for a bra even before starting it, part laziness and part wishful thinking.

Daniel doesn't notice her when she walks in the kitchen, too busy looking for a mug in Max's cupboards, as if she's not here almost every day of the week, and Max is free to pause and just look at her.

She's not wearing a shirt, her curly hair bunched in two sleep-mussed braids brushing her naked shoulders, the muscles of her back tensing as she goes on her tiptoes to look in yet another wrong cabinet. She must have stolen a pair of underwear from Max's drawers, because the lacy thong Max had taken off her the night before was still on the bedroom floor, and she doubts Daniel would ever own such a simple pair of black panties.

Even if she probably should, because they make her ass look great.

"You're being a creep."

Daniel's voice startles her from her vague daydreams of getting to her knees right there in the kitchen and eat her out while she drinks her coffee, and she feels herself blush, barely able to keep her expression under control as Daniel finally turns around, steaming cup of coffee in her hand.

She's smiling, one unruly curl escaping her braids to brush her cheek, and Max still feels the sticky taste of her under her tongue.

Once again, just like she had done the night before, she decides to take the plunge, walking towards Daniel and stopping only when their chests brush, naked skin against cotton, her hands bracketing Daniel's hips against the counter.

"Good morning." Her voice is still scratchy with sleep and dehydration, and if there was anything else inside Daniel's cup she would steal it. She resolves to kiss her instead.

Their kiss tastes like stale breath and coffee and Max wants to drown in it. She hears the clink of the mug being placed on the marble surface, the only warning she gets before one of Daniel's hands finds its way in her short hair and the other on her ass.

"Good morning, Maxy," Daniel mumbles against her mouth, lips curving up in a smile before opening, letting Max in.

Her hand slides down to her cheek, her shoulder, and Max's breath is already ragged. She pinches her nipple through her shirt, stealing Max's moan from her lips, before going down further, hooking her thumb on her underwear and stopping.

Max wants to beg her to keep going, wants her fingers inside her. She wants to kiss her until she can't breathe anymore, wants to taste her skin until she knows what each and every one of her tattoos feel like under her tongue, wants to see her come again and again.

She wants to say yes to the unspoken question Daniel's fingers are still posing, paused above her underwear.

But.

She pulls back, doesn't dare open her eyes quite yet.

"What is this, Daniel?"

She can't handle asking what are we, not when she's been the one to close the space between them twice already. If Daniel makes a joke out of it, if she says this is called having sex, Maxy, she knows she'll go with it. She will come now and let herself nurse her broken heart later, but for once Daniel doesn't joke.

She sighs, taking both her hands away, slightly pushing Max back to grab her coffee again, steaming shield between them.

Max opens her eyes, forcing her body to remember how to wear a mask of indifference she hasn't had to use around Daniel for a very long time.

"You know I don't do serious, Maxy," Daniel says, almost apologetic. There's a flicker of something in her face that makes Max want to call her a liar, to tell her that she could just try it out, just this once, just for Max.

But Daniel doesn't do serious, and Max doesn't do casual, and this was a mistake from the moment Max had said you know I like you the night before and Daniel had answered by climbing right into her lap.

She takes a step back, nodding, hoping her smile looks real enough to hide the splinters of her bleeding heart.

"I'm going to take a shower."

She ignores Daniel's half aborted move, refusing to think that she would try to hold her back, and leaves the room, coffee taste on her tongue growing salty with unshed tears.