#you're forcing three people to share a room and you're not even giving us the biggest room
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literally about to scream
#we're moving to a new house#which I didn't want to do#now I have to share a room with both of my sisters#younger sisters in case anyone was wondering#and we don't even get the biggest bedroom :D#nope!#even though my dad said we could!#and then my absolute asshole of a brother who gets his own room decides that we're overreacting because me and one of my sisters are pissed#my youngest sister doesn't care#cause she's still little#but me and my other sister are rightfully pissed off#im so mad#you're forcing three people to share a room and you're not even giving us the biggest room#what the actual fuck#so glad I can legally move out next year
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okay, so if you’re not writing the aquarium scene in the 118/217 scheming fix-it (god i love this) can you at least share what mishap and or shenanigan gets them banned from the aquarium?? (since you mentioned it in the tags i assume you picked one!)
The aquarium is Christopher's idea, because getting Buck and Tommy back together is the one thing he and Eddie can talk about without it devolving into shouting or week-long silences that make Eddie want to put his fist through his living room wall.
So if plotting to interfere in the open bear trap that is his idiot friends' breakup gets him an hour of uninterrupted screen time with Chris three times a week? He'll meddle in a way that would make even his abuela say, "cariño, that's a little much." He'll change his legal middle name to el metiche.
"Buck used to take me to see the otters when I was younger; they're his favorite. But the exhibit has been closed for a year because they've been redoing it," Chris says, then texts him a link to the aquarium website. "The big reopening is next week. If someone asked Buck to take Jee-Yun, he wouldn't be suspicious."
"Chris, you're a genius," Eddie says, a little awed. His entire body aches to reach through the laptop screen and across state lines to pull his kid into a hug, but all he can do is sit on his hands and hope his face shows all the love he feels.
A small, but genuine grin unfurls on Chris's face. "That's not news, dad."
Eddie decides to take the aquarium idea to what Chimney keeps calling the weekly 118-217 Shadow Summit to see if the rest of the group thinks it holds water—no pun intended—and is extremely offended when Dana gives him a slow blink and says, "That's actually not bad. Who came up with it?"
"Is it that hard to believe it was my idea?"
"Very."
Dana presses the rim of her wine glass to the sly, crimson curve of her mouth. With her victory rolls, winged eyeliner, and tattoos, she looks like the winner of a car show pinup contest. She also looks like an evil queen out of an old school Disney movie. At least five people in their general vicinity look like they'd thank her if she force-fed them a poisoned apple or turned into a giant dragon.
Eddie reaches into the bowl of popcorn by his elbow and throws a handful of it at her. She just takes a sip of her wine and serenely lets the kernels bounce off her.
"Knock it off before I put you both in a time out." Lucy drains the dregs of her beer and says to Chimney, "Having Buckley take your kid is the perfect excuse—she's, what, two? Three?"
"Five," Chim says with the heartache of a man whose baby is almost old enough to rent a car. "As long as we don't tell my wife that Jee's playing the part of the cutest MacGuffin ever in this little plot, we should be good. But how do we get Tommy there?"
"Short of planting a bomb in the penguin tank, I can't think of a reason Mr. Nature Boy himself would ever voluntarily go." Hen roots around in the popcorn bowl for the kernels with the most butter. "Actually, he might be thrilled if we did that. I don't think he likes birds very much."
Dana lifts a brow. "I smell a story."
"Does it smell like KFC?" Chim pops a pretzel in his mouth and chews loudly, grinning. "Once we've adjourned the cabal for the evening, remind me to tell you about Maurice."
Eddie doesn't know Nico very well—he can't get a read on the guy to save his life—but the smug smirk he's sporting looks entirely out of place. Nico takes the last mozzarella stick off the platter they'd ordered to share and puts it between his teeth like a cigar. He looks like the world's lamest oil baron.
Eddie looks at Dana in askance. Wordlessly, she plucks a piece of popcorn out of her hair and throws it at him. It nails him right between the eyes.
"Let me handle Kinard," Nico says. "I'll get him there, no problem."
To his credit, Nico does get Tommy to the aquarium the day of the sea otter exhibit grand reopening. And thanks to Chimney planting Chris's idea in Buck's head at the start of their next shift, Buck does take Jee-Yun.
Unfortunately, their paths never cross, because while the penguin habitat doesn't explode, the sea jelly gallery does, completely flooding the first floor. When the aquarium is forced to evacuate everyone, Buck and Jee-Yun end up at the Chili's down the street, while Tommy ends up riding in an ambulance with an old woman who gets stung by a box jellyfish.
"I don't understand how this happened!" Lucy shouts, keeping her fingers on the ankle pulse of a man in the middle of an allergic reaction to a lilliputian jelly sting as Hen and Chim pump him full of epinephrine and then start administering compressions.
Eddie would help, but he's carrying three kids—two in his arms, one on his back���through shin-deep water to safety while attempting to dodge all the bluebottles floating on the surface. Dana glides past him to get the next group of kids waiting to be rescued, not a hair out of place. She looks like a fucking mermaid. He's gonna trip her the next time they pass each other.
Annoyed, Lucy casts around and then asks, "Has anyone seen Nico?"
Just in time for the man himself to sedately walk through the pandemonium, two bewildered penguins tucked under his arms like purses. He smiles brightly. "Hey, did Kinard pass through here, by any chance? Phase two of my plan is ready to go."
Eddie stares at him. "What was phase one?"
He never does find out what exactly phase one entailed, but it's enough to get them permanently banned from the aquarium for life.
"If you ask me, the punishment so does not fit the crime," Nico says, digging an elbow into Eddie's side as he jostles for room in the back of Athena's squad car.
Eddie says nothing. He's too busy mentally composing the short-answer portion of his application for the El Paso Fire Department, although, in the end, it doesn't matter. He completely forgets everything he plans on writing when Athena slides in, glances in the rearview mirror, and shouts, "Those better not be penguins in my back seat, Edmundo Diaz!"
He and Chris spend two hours talking about it during their next call, so Eddie calls it a win.
#lafd shenanigans#the next 118-217 shadow summit begins with everyone doing a walk of shame into the bar#(except nico‚ who practically skips inside‚ followed by two penguins)#bucktommy#rc's 911 fics
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we have chemistry
warnings: college!ellie x college!reader, stoner!ellie, chronically ill reader (not specific, just mentions of fatigue and a medical accommodation for a single room for plot reasons lol), weed usage (Ellie and reader), mild language, briefly proofread, no use of y/n minors dni! smut in 3rd section! top!ellie, some degradation, praise (reader called a good girl, pretty girl, etc., ellie told she's doing a good job), SO MUCH CONSENT WE <3 CONSENT, fingering (r! receiving), oral (r! receiving), aftercare.
💗💗💗
You didn't want to be taking organic chemistry. Nobody in that class did--not even the chemistry majors. But as finals season rolled around, you found yourself spending extra time to make sure that it would at least be worth your while. Needless to say, not everybody shared the same drive.
As the clock hit 8:49am on the last class before the exam, everybody started shoving their laptops away despite the professor's continuing drone. To your right there was an extra loud snap! as the student beside you--an auburn-haired girl you'd never seen before--shut the screen with finality. You shot her a glare, gently closing your notebook as people began to trickle out.
"You're smart, right?"
You angled your face towards the sound, assuming somebody was having a side conversation close by. Instead, you found yourself face to face with striking green eyes leaning to reach your line of sight.
"Hi. Yeah, you. You're using an actual notebook and have all the fancy pens and shit, so...are you smart?"
Your eyebrows drew together slightly as you shrugged with one shoulder. "I try, I guess. Um...why?"
One corner of the girl's mouth picked up. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I've literally never been to this class before. My grade sucks. But I really don't want to retake this shit. Do you think you could help me?"
You stared at her incredulously, mentally calculating the equation of audacity and arrogance it must take to expect a complete stranger to help despite a clear lack of effort.
You opened your mouth slightly to say some variation of hell fucking no, who do you think you are anyways?, maybe you should have considered that before skipping literally every other class meeting when she stuck out her hand. "I'm Ellie, by the way. I'll pay you for helping me." When you hesitated to shake it, she added a "please".
You rolled your eyes, shaking the girl--Ellie's--hand with slightly too much force. "Fine. Whatever. Give me your number." You slid your phone across the table, already open to the contacts app, and watched as she typed.
"You're a lifesaver! Thank you..." she asked, pausing for your name. You gave it. "Thank you."
💗💗💗
Getting back to your dorm and settling into bed for a nap, you briefly texted the number now in your phone as "Ellie" with the last name "Wehavechemistry".
hey
Almost immediately, three dots popped up.
hey there. do you like my contact? lmao
i mean, we do have chemistry together. so like...sure?
no no no. i meant like...we have chemistry. wink wink nudge nudge. and my last name starts with a w so it's funny. do you get it?
...
it's funny.
yeah yeah sure. very funny. hahaha. anyways.
when did you want to come over? i'm free all weekend, and the final's monday. sooooo
oh shit
didn't realize the final was monday
ummmmmmmm how does tomorrow at 8pm work? do you have a roommate or something we need to accommodate for?
no, no roommate. tomorrow at 8pm works fine for me. see you then, ellie.
:)
Turns out, texting with Ellie wasn't all that insufferable. She was friendlier than you expected, and every time you put your phone down to try and fall asleep you found your heart beating too fast at every notification to actually put it down.
Instead, you kept the conversation going until 8pm the next day rolled around, when instead of a text you got three loud raps at the door.
Opening it up, you saw Ellie in the same hoodie as yesterday. This time, her hair was slightly damp and she smelled like...old spice and something pungent and earthy. Did she shower already?
"Hey," you said, suddenly feeling awkward and over dressed in your jean shorts and crop top, hair still done from that afternoon. "You can come in."
Ellie grinned at you as she slid in the door. "We have a semester of schoolwork to cover. Hope you're prepared for a long night," she said.
"Trust me, I am. Did you bring anything?" You asked, looking for a bag as she climbed on to your bed.
"Nope. Not school stuff, anyways." Curious, you tossed your notebook towards her and watched as she pulled a pre-rolled joint and lighter from her hoodie pocket. "I'm assuming you don't smoke since you're like, a nerd, but do you mind if I do?"
You shook your head, dropping your jaw in false offense. "How lame do you think I am? Just because I actually go to class doesn't mean I'm a nerd."
Ellie shot you a disbelieving look, but handed you the joint anyways as you joined her on the bed. "Here, have the first hit. As a thank you for helping me out."
She lit it for you as you inhaled, passing her the weed and opening your notebook. "If this keeps you from retaining information that's not my fault. Just saying."
"Trust me, I'm so alert right now it's crazy. All of tonight is gonna be stuck in my memory for a while."
💗💗💗
The room gradually grew darker, lit only by your adjusting lamp and the last smoldering ashes of the joint as you reached halfway through the notebook.
You breathed heavily through your nose, looking at Ellie seriously. "It's so late. We're not going to finish this tonight."
As she looked up at you, you suddenly noticed how much closer you two had moved over the course of the night. Had your thighs been touching the whole time? Has her breath always been so close it's hitting your cheek? Why did she have to smell so good?
Your own breath caught in your throat as she leaned even closer to you, placing a hand so close to your leg you could feel the fabric of her sweatshirt against her bare thigh. Almost imperceptibly, her gaze flickered down to your chest, now rapidly rising and falling.
"How set do you think I am for this stupid final?" Ellie asked seriously, a rasp in her voice either from smoke or the lowered pitch.
"You picked up on everything really well, so at least the first half I think you'll do fine."
She grabbed your left hand in both of hers, causing your breath to catch again. Her eyes flickered down again, this time lingering longer. Following her gaze, you noticed the top of your bra peeking out.
"Sorry," you said, quickly adjusting your shirt to cover it as heat spread through your body.
"No, no, you're fine. Sorry for looking," she said. You looked at her face, watching as her eyes seemed to trace the shape of your shoulders and the line of your throat.
The air thickened with tension, but you found yourself not wanting Ellie to leave yet. "So, why did you take this class anyways? If you didn't want to go?"
Finally, she met your eyes. "I need a chemistry for my major. Astronomy. I thought I would like this one, but didn't realize it was a fucking 8am when I signed up. By the time I realized I wasn't going to make it up that early it was too late to drop." She shrugged. "What about you? Big chemistry fan?"
You snorted. "Not really, but I also needed a chemistry for my major. I like the 8ams, it lets me have afternoons free to sleep. That's why I don't have a roommate--medical accommodations for fatigue or whatever." She nodded along, genuinely listening.
"Well, hopefully I don't have to retake this class. Next time there probably won't be a pretty girl willing to help me out."
You smiled at her, breathing sharply out of your nose in a laugh. "We'll see what we can do."
A beat of silence washed over you before Ellie pointed towards the pride flag on your wall with her chin. "So...are you..." She began, causing you to laugh full out this time.
"Yeah. Obviously, I'd hope, but if you're feminine people tend to assume otherwise I guess." You smiled and looked at her. "Are you?"
Ellie placed a hand on her chest. "I'm hurt you had to ask. I've been trying to flirt with you since I got your number, babe."
Oh.
"Oh."
She leaned back a little. "I can cut it out, if you want. I couldn't tell if you were into it or not."
Without giving her time to continue doubting, you sprung forward and attached your lips to hers. Threading your fingers in her hair and breathing in as you pulled back.
"So...you are into it?"
"I'm a little dense, Ellie. Don't let the color-coded notes fool you. But yes. Now that I know...I'm into it."
She smiled at you with one side of her mouth again, this time leaning forward to kiss you first. Lips opening slightly, you felt her body around yours as her hands found the bed and pushed you on to your back.
Ellie pushed her tongue gently into your mouth, settling between your legs as they fell open. As you felt her weight between your hips, you groaned a little.
Whining a little as she pulled away, your eyes fluttered shut as Ellie threaded her fingers through the hair by your ear. "Is this supposed to be my payment?" you asked, leaning into her touch.
"Shut up," she said playfully, leaning in to kiss you again. This time it was more forceful, teeth bumping against teeth as your tongues chased each other. Too focused on the overwhelming sensation of Ellie's mouth on your own, you broke the kiss to moan in surprise when you felt her knee push against your core.
Using the opportunity to trail her mouth down your cheek, to your jaw, to your neck, Ellie asked "is this okay, baby?" between kisses. You nodded before remembering she couldn't see you, instead responding with a slightly choked "yes."
In response, her lips attached right behind your ear as her teeth sunk into you and she began to suck. You groaned, bucking your hips against her knee. Kindly, she began to push it back into you, laughing into your neck as you continued whimpering.
"What?" you asked. "Why are you laughing?"
Ellie pulled away from the spot she had been working into your collarbone, meeting your eyes. "You're just so pretty. Can't believe I have you falling apart for me and I've barely touched you."
Your mouth fell open at her words, groaning. Ellie's mouth found yours again, her hands reaching for your tits over your shirt. "Can't blame me for looking at these," she said between kisses, "You look so good in this shirt."
"Take it off, then," you said. You sounded braver than you felt, your stomach doing absolute flips as the girl over you quickly complied to reveal your lacy nude bra.
"I like this," she said softly. "I want it off, though. Is that okay, pretty?" You nodded. The bra was nothing special--just comfy and the right color. If Ellie liked it, though, it was now one of your favorites.
Her mouth moved down your chin and neck to attach to your left nipple, bringing a hand to your opposite hip as she sucked and licked lightly. Your hips continued to buck against her knee, which was now stationary as you essentially rode her thigh.
Chuckling a little, Ellie looked up at you and began unbuttoning your shorts. "Knew you'd be needy. What kind of thoughts are you hiding from me?" she asked, pulling off your bottoms and panties in one go when you lifted your hips to help.
You smiled a little watching her eyes attach themselves to the spot between your legs. "What can I say?" you said. "Maybe I'm a little slutty if the right girl has me under her."
This seemed to light something in Ellie, who watched your face as she brought your face down to your pussy. Close enough to feel her breath, her eyes gleamed as she moved away from your hips chasing her.
"Please," you asked, voice breaking. "Please, Ellie."
"Guess you are a slut, huh? Begging for me already." Whatever response you had was cut off by a screaming moan as her mouth attached itself to you, immediately lapping at your clit before interspersing it with longer licks. Your legs shut around her face as your hands grabbed into her hair, pulling a little as you noticed the groan she made at the pressure.
"That feels so good, Ellie." Her motions sped up at this, and you hurriedly repeated the phrase as she focused more attention on your clit. Feeling everything tighten, you wrapped your ankles around her back as your hips lifted almost completely off the bed. Still attached to you, Ellie fully moaned as you pulled her hair and came over her face.
Whimpering softly as she pulled away, you audibly groaned when she looked up at you and wiped her chin with the back of her hand. "You did so good, baby. Do you have another one in you?"
You quickly nodded, feeling words escape you. All you wanted was for her to say you did good again.
Ellie leaned into you, placing her head into the crook of your neck as her fingers ghosted lightly over your hips, stomach, and thighs. Finally, you felt them dip into the pool of wet that had collected in your cunt. Spreading the mix of saliva, cum, and arousal up to your clit and around your hole, she slowly pushed a slender finger into you. Your back arched off the bed when she began pumping it in and out, chuckling against your neck.
"Such a pretty girl. You're doing so good," she whispered. Your moans grew louder at her words and she pushed another finger in. "Good girl," she breathed, kissing your neck and jaw as she worked into you.
"Ellie," you gasped. "Ellie, please."
"What, baby?"
"Please, Ellie, please. Wanna cum."
You felt her lips quirk up against your collarbone as she added a thumb to your clit and a curl to her fingers. Quicker than you'd ever been able to get there yourself, you felt the tightening of your gut. She swallowed your moans with a sloppy kiss, gently catching your bottom lip between her teeth before soothing it with her tongue. She used her other hand to hold on to your hair at the scalp as you writhed, second orgasm shuddering through your body.
"Good girl," she said as she worked you through it. Sitting up, she wiped her fingers on your thighs before moving up up to let you rest your head on her chest. "You did so good, baby. My smart, pretty, good girl."
You whimpered a little, not prepared to speak just yet. Ellie seemed to understand and didn't push you, holding you and playing with your hair until you leaned back to smile at her.
"That was good. Thank you," you told her, leaning in for a kiss that tasted of your sweat and pussy.
Ellie broke away, moving the hand wrapped around your waist to grab something out of your back pocket. She placed it on your bare chest, tucking it between your tits.
"What do I look like, a prostitute?" you asked. "Much love to them, but..."
Ellie raised her eyebrows. "I mean, you fuck like a professional, but this is for helping me study."
You grabbed the bill and pushed it back into her pocket. "Save it for next time. We need to finish that notebook if you want to actually pass this class."
Ellie kissed the top of your head. "How does tomorrow work?"
A/N this is basically a self insert...my bad. tried to make it as inclusive to different readers as possible. let me know if there's anything I can improve on!! <3
#Ellie smut#Ellie williams smut#Ellie williams#Ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#Ellie williams x you#Ellie williams oneshot#stoner!ellie#college!ellie#she's astronomy major coded prove me wrong
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𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗮𝗱𝗮 - 𝗰.𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗮
summary: alexia’s little sister likes a girl…
𖦹 masterlist
"𝗜𝗡𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚!"
i only had a few seconds warning before someone crashed into me, full force, and wrapped their arms around me. i already knew who it was based on the short stature of the person and the tightness of the hug.
"hey, pina colada. what's up?"
claudia finally let me out of her embrace, but kept her hand in mine. we walked together to the covered gym on the opposite side of the pitch to join the rest of our team. training went by somewhat quickly and we finished off with a 7 v 7 match.
both me and claudia were on the same team; jona wanted us to work on pairing up to score goals since the performance at our last game resulted in three goals from us alone.
once everyone was sufficiently sweaty and tired, jona told us to have a shower and get changed because there was a meeting about our upcoming game he wanted to hold. we all traipsed back to the locker rooms, and as per normal, claudia and i were attached at the hip.
"okay everyone into the meeting room!"
again, all twenty-something people on the team filed into the room and found a seat in front of the screen that had been set up.
claudia found a seat at the front, however me being on the taller side - matching frido in height, chose to sit on the floor in between claudia's legs. i caught the eye of my older sister, alexia, when she cocked an eyebrow at my actions with a smirk.
she was always poking fun at how close me and claudia were, never telling me outright that she thought we should be together but always insinuating something was there.
i discreetly flipped her off and got comfortable. we were halfway through the meeting when i felt claudia's fingers take through my now-loose hair. she was almost giving me a scalp massage but i knew she just liked to play with it. i leant back, my head falling into her lap as she continued to play with my hair.
finally we were allowed out of the meeting and i stood up, feeling my joints crack in the process.
everyone filed out and dispersed, most going their own ways for the day. however i stayed with claudia, and alexia joined us. we went to my car, planning on going to mine and alexia's shared apartment. "i call shotgun!" claudia yelled out and took off towards the passenger side door.
alexia only laughed and shook her head, making her way to the backseats. "i swear you're at our house more than your own, pina."
i just laughed at my best friend and sister, unlocking the vehicle and hopping in the drivers seat. we all drove home - to mine and alexia's home, claudia playing her music through the aux. when i got through the door i found the couch and flopped on it, letting out a sigh of relief.
claudia insisted we all watch a movie together, then promptly snatched the remote so she could choose what we watched. neither ale nor i minded, we were just happy to be sitting down. me more happy to have claudia happy.
alexia said she'd get us some snacks from the mini kitchen we have and left me and claudia to set up in the connected lounge. i looked across to the shorter girl sitting next to me and couldn't help but admire her. she was so engrossed in scrolling through our netflix that she didn't notice my fixed gaze.
butterflies erupted in my stomach whenever she subconsciously bit her lip or grin at a movie or series she saw. i knew there was a desire to be more than friends, but the logic part of my brain refused to accept the wanting. i didn't like the idea of risking loosing what we had between us already. claudia turned to look at me with a contagious grin. "do you wanna watch this?"
i glanced at the tv, nodding in agreement even though i had no idea what she had picked. "sure why not." claudia whipped back to the screen with excitement and i just watched with a loving smile on my face.
it was then that ale walked back into the room with an armful of snacks, placing them on the table. she picked up on my expression and its direction towards claudia, again raising her eyebrow at me. i pretended to not have noticed and tried to get comfortable.
eventually i gave up and shuffled closer to claudia. she curled up and leant into me, my arm instinctively went around her shoulders. we watched the series like that, getting through about five episodes before it was getting closer to dinner.
again, alexia said she'd cook, but yelled out for my help after a bit. "hermana, why don't you tell pina how you feel?" she spoke out of nowhere. "i don't know what you mean, ale." i could feel the blush staining my cheeks and knew that alexia would pick it up.
"come on, yn. i see the way you look at her. and you guys are attached at the hip. and she's literally sitting in our living room right now, probably going to stay the night." i opened my mouth to argue but didn't have anything to come back with.
"i guess i just don't want to risk loosing her. what if she doesn't like me? i'd rather live with her as my best friend and hide my feelings then loose her completely." alexia hummed as she took in my words and moved about the kitchen. when she'd finished dishing up whatever she'd made, she spoke.
"i know you don't like risks but i can see that she has something more than friendship with you too. you can see it in both of your eyes. just talk to her."
she passed me mine and claudia's plates and we went back out to the girl sitting on our couch. she happily took her serving from my hands, thanking both me and alexia for feeding her. "anytime, nene."
unsurprisingly, claudia stays the night. we both head to my room, where i can't stop thinking about what ale said earlier. i hand some pjs to claudia who gladly takes them and goes to the bathroom to change.
we end up lying in my bed, side by side, when i gather up the courage to speak. "pina colada?" "yea what's up?" i take a deep breath and sit up properly. "i like you. like a lot. more than a friend." it almost comes out like a stutter, in short bursts. there was some silence and me thinking that i totally blew it, i don't have my best friend anymore, when she sits up and turns to me with wide eyes.
"really? like for real?"
"yes for real. i like you for real claudia." using her first name meant it was serious. she looked a bit shocked but slowly a smile started to grow on her face. "i like you a lot too. more than a friend." the butterflies came back to my stomach in an instant as i took in her words.
"does that mean i can kiss you?" it was bold and it came out of nowhere but thankfully the awkward silence was short lived this time as claudia leaned forward to connect our lips first.
i kissed her back until we needed to break for air. then there was cheering from the doorway. "girls please use protection and don't be too loud. i would like to sleep tonight." alexia stood in the doorway to my room with a knowing smirk on her face directed towards me.
"ale!"
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r is a new recruit at the bau and is also jj’s ex. the two are super awkward and tense around each other until forced to share a room due to limited room, where feelings are finally confessed
I Still Love You
pairing: jennifer jareau x fem reader
category: angst, fluff
warnings: none
word count: 884
summary: you join the bau and realize that your ex that you're still not over also works there
I walked through the doors of the BAU with a nervous smile on my face. It was my first day and I wanted to make a good impression. I was supposed to be taking over the media liaison job for someone so now I just had to go and figure out who that was. I looked around until I saw a friendly looking blonde woman. "Hey! I'm uh, I'm new here, I'm the new media liaison I was wondering if you could point me to where I'm supposed to go."
"Of course!" She said enthusiastically. "I'm Penelope Garcia by the way, most people just call me Garcia."
"I'm y/n y/l/n." I reached out to shake her hand but she just pulled me into a hug. Oh. So that's how they do things around here, maybe I didn't have to be nervous.
"JJ is waiting for you in there to train you a bit." My heart stopped. JJ? I looked inside the office and there she was. Jennifer Jareau. I couldn't speak.
"Is something wrong?" JJ asked with a bit of attitude once Garcia left.
"No I uh, I just didn't realize that you worked here is all." I put down my small box of things on the desk and tried to avoid her gaze.
"Yeah well I do. So get used to seeing me." I gave her a small nod and started unpacking my things. "You still wear the ring?" She asked quietly after a few moments. I looked down at my left hand and saw that I was wearing the promise ring she had gotten me six months ago when we were still happy and together.
"Yeah I...I do." I wasn't going to take it off in front of her, I didn't want to give her the satisfaction.
"Oh." That was the only thing she said before she actually started showing me how the job worked.
Three weeks had passed and it was awkward. It honestly just hurt. Someone I used to know so well is now basically a stranger and I want to know her again. I still loved her. She was a profiler now there's no way she didn't know it.
I took a deep breath and dried my tears off in the bathroom. It had been 4 months, she had moved on, and I was going to have to live with being in love with her and seeing her not even give a shit about me. I let out a choked sob and covered my mouth, my heart stopping when I heard the door open.
"Hey." It was JJ, I could recognize that voice anywhere. "What's wrong?" She sounded sincere for the first time in three weeks.
"It's nothing." I wiped the fresh tears away and leaned against the sink.
"It's obviously something. Why are you crying?" She came up next to me and leaned close to me, trying to get me to look at her.
"It's just the case." I lied.
"Oh come on. That's just insulting. I was in a relationship with you for a year and I'm a profiler. You really think I can't see through you?"
"Why do you even care?" My voice sounded weak as I turned to look at her, my tear stained face making her eyes soften even more. "I've been working here for three weeks and you couldn't care less about me. You've never shown any interest in talking to me and now you do? I'm sorry Jayje but I don't buy it." I winced as the nickname slipped past my lips.
"You think I don't care about you?" Her voice was so quiet I could barely hear it. I turned back to my hands and looked down. "Hey, look at me." She asked softly. "You really think I don't care about you?"
"I don't understand why you would."
"I still love you." There was no hesitation in her words. "I've always loved you. I've loved you since I've met you."
"Then why'd you go? Why'd you leave me JJ." She stayed quiet. "I need an answer JJ."
"I...I got scared." I could tell she was telling the truth by the way her voice wavered. "I love you so much and my job is so dangerous and I thought they would hurt you-" I cut her off with a kiss.
"I love you." My lips quivered as I held back tears. "I love you so much." She wiped away my tears and pulled me in for a tight hug. "I missed you so much." I sobbed into her neck so she brought one hand up to cradle the back of my head.
"I missed you too baby I missed you so much." She kissed the top of my head. "But it's ok, I'm here now, I'm here." She kissed my temple over and over again until I stopped crying.
"You're never going to leave me again. Ever." I looked up at her with stern but tearful eyes. She kissed my forehead and nodded, hugging me even closer.
"I won't leave you again. I promise."
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"Such A Thing"....Pt. 2
(Previous)
*after talking for a while* "As you can see, even though every experience is different, the willingness to meet and share aspects of their lives is what truly helps both parties. And again, you are the parents so you ultimately decide the route you want to take. We just strongly encourage openness as it helps adoptees cope. So if you have anymore questions, please don't hesitate to ask."
"I do have one...How was your experience reconnecting with your son?"
"Umm..." *lets out a deep sigh* "It was tough for both of us. If I could go back, I would have never chosen for it to be closed. I believe that's what hurt him the most. It fueled that feeling of abandonment and caused the question of why?"
"Wow, that hits close to home.” *shakes his head* “I get it now.”
*attempts to look sympathetic* “So your family never told you why she had to leave?"
"Nope. I don't know anything about her. Not even her name. It's interesting that you said she had to, I always assumed she just left. I guess this line of work changes the way you think."
"It does. Plus, these decisions don't come lightly. It didn't for me." *gets interrupted by a knock on the door*
"Hey guys, sorry to interrupt. I'm just checking in. Moses your wife had a list of questions. I'm sure I was being interviewed." *laughing* "So did Moriah help or?..."
"She definitely did."
"Oh good. I hope she told you all about her son as well. Their story is just so touching. She even has pictures from when he was a newborn until about three months old. Why don't you show him?"
“I’d rather not. Today was pretty heavy.”
“I happen to think it would help.” *stares at her* “You show everyone that comes through these doors. It’s always appreciated.”
“Okay.” *looks nervous as shit*
*Moses' silence speaks volumes*
"I can explain. Please let me explain. Janice can you give us a second?” *pleading*
*puts the picture down* "You should vet your employees more thoroughly. That baby she's holding…. is me. I have a similar one with just my father...Same outfit, same blanket, same balloons, same room."
"What???" *in shock* "Is he saying you're his birth mother?"
"Yes...but I can explain."
"Explain???" *turns to Moses* "I am so sorry for this, Mr. Muse. If I had any inclination, I would've..."
"Oh that's bullshit!" *cuts her off* "I told you there was a conflict of interest and you still pushed!"
"You're his damn birth mother! Nobody would ever assume that's what you meant! Then after that, you lied! You've been lying...for years!"
"I only lied to help other families. People tend to be more open when they can relate. I didn't hurt or hinder, it only made things better. No one would've ever expected him to come through these doors." *looks at Moses* "I am so sorry. I know you probably have questions. I really thought your family would have at least let you know something. I didn't want to leave, but my life at the time was very unstable. It was no place for a fifteen year old let alone a baby. I knew you would be safe with your dad, so when I was forced to move hours away, I left you with him. The next few years I thought of trying to reach out, but before I knew it, I was pregnant again. Miles died and I didn't want to complicate your life anymore so, I stopped. And look how you turned out? You have the life of your dreams."
"What about your family, Do they...?"
"My husband does but my children?...Absolutely not. Just like with you, it would've complicated things. Even with them being adults now."
"I guess you carved out a nice life for yourself as well." *smirking to hold back rage* "Well, look, I'm sure my wife is wondering what's taking so long." *gets up* "I'm gonna head out. We won't be coming back so you two take care."
To Be Continued........
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He Comforts You - Ike 💙
Ike Eveland x GN!Reader
✦ — Written by Mod I ✨. Beta Read and Edited by Mod S 👿.
✧ — Comfort & Care Masterlist | 💙 You comfort him
✦ — Contains: Established Relationship, fluff, & comfort
✧ — Word count: 446 | Ao3
Snippets of time showing how you and your partner care for each other.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
If you could only choose one word to describe how you were feeling after your day at work, it would be 'done'. Not only had your boss called out today, but they had also left you with the amount of work that would normally need three people to complete. Which meant you had to stay long after your shift had already ended. And you wouldn't even be paid more for it. You'd quit in a heartbeat if you could afford it.
You were all but stumbling as you entered your home. The door shutting behind you with a little more force than intended as you leaned your weight back against it. You don’t even have the energy to lean down to properly remove your shoes; toeing them off and leaving them haphazardly in front of the door. However, you don’t get even two steps further into the house before Ike emerges from the hallway. His expression softens at the sight of you, giving you a sincere smile. “Welcome home, darling.” You return his smile, albeit yours being a tired one.
He’s by your side in no time, taking your hand in his. The novelist starts leading you down the hallway and before you can even ask where you're going; he pushes the bathroom door open. The soothing smell of eucalyptus and spearmint fill the room thanks to the candles he’d lit beforehand; giving the room a soft glow. The tub was filled, and you eyed it longingly, no doubt that the water was still warm. Your attention is drawn back to your loving boyfriend as a hand lightly rests on the small of your back, the warmth radiating through your clothes “Come on darling, let's get you in, shall we?” His hand glides up to help slip off your jacket. “I have the kettle on if you want a cup of tea while you soak.”
“Ike you didn’t have to do all this–”
He silences you with a gentle peck to your lips, “You’ve had such a rough day hun, just let me treat you.” He helps remove the rest of your clothes before helping you into the tub. As you sink further into the warm water, you can’t help but release a sigh of contentment. He chuckles affectionately, kneeling beside the tub so he can brush aside a few stray strands of hair before placing a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll be back with your tea in a moment. Take as long in the tub as you need.”
Just before he leaves the room, you call out to him. He pauses with a questioning hum. “Thank you, Ike. I seriously appreciate it.”
“Of course, my dear.”
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Likes are nice and we do appreciate them. However, comments/feedback is what really motivates us to continue writing. Even just a keyboard smash or emojis are a joy to see!
We do not allow our stories to be translated or reposted/shared anywhere. The only places our stories should be found are on Ao3 or Tumblr. Nowhere else.
#ike eveland x reader#luxiem x reader#nijisanji x reader#ike eveland#luxiem#nijisanji luxiem#nijisanji ike#nijisanji en#nijisanji#x reader#gender neutral reader#gn reader#Written by Mod I ✨
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The Idol who cant Smile
Minji X Fem! Reader
Description: You are the oldest Member of New Jeans, but Fans Never saw you Smile once. Why don't you Smile? Who's the Person that can bring back a smile to your Face?
Chapter 6:
My eyes fell on Minji, but I couldn't say anything. The camera was focused on Minji as she talked about our comeback. We all looked at Minji, but in my mind, the scene in her room kept replaying. It's been exactly 4 months since that happened.
Minji briefly turned her head to me while speaking. This caused her to stutter slightly, and she quickly turned her head away again. I swallowed as well. But I continued to look at Minji. If I were to look away now, the shippers would go crazy and analyze our behavior.
In these 4 months, our ship name has taken off. New videos kept coming out where we looked at each other or simply talked. Some even analyzed our behavior, and it's truly incredible what people come up with. But what's even more fascinating is that very few people were actually correct.
I felt Danielle's arms around me and leaned back a bit. Her arms were around my neck, while I leaned my back against her legs. This time, I was sitting on the floor to keep my back straight. Lately, I'd been developing a bit of a hunch from always being forced to sit on the couch. Apparently, they all wanted to be respectful.
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"Unnie," Hyein said softly. She stood by the door with her suitcase, looking at me with sad eyes. I raised my finger, as if warning her, "No tears. We'll see each other again in a few days," I said immediately. Hyein sighed sadly and looked at me for a while. She then opened her arms and pulled me into a hug.
I hugged the much taller girl back, "Now go. Your mom and dad are already waiting for you. Don't keep them waiting, and give them my regards," I said and playfully tapped her butt. With that, she moved towards the door, no longer looking at me with those sad eyes, "I'll be back as soon as possible, Unnie," she said and waved goodbye.
Amused by the younger girl, I let out a small sigh but waved back. She was the last one to be picked up. Everyone else was picked up earlier in the morning. As for me, I stayed in the dorm. After all, I had no one to go to. I only had my father at home... but he definitely didn't want to see me. So, I decided to spend our days off alone here. It was alright. I was used to being alone anyway.
With a sigh, I closed the door and went to the living room. There, I turned on Netflix, which we all shared since we usually watched things together. I decided to start one of the K-dramas that had been on my list for so long, but I never got around to watching.
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It was Korean Thanksgiving Day. Luckily, we had three days off. Today was September 28th, the most important day. However, I spent this day at home, at least after finishing up here.
As often as before, I stood in front of that door, unsure whether I should really ring the bell or just leave the food at the doorstep. I sighed once again and decided to ring the bell. It didn't take long for the all-too-familiar nurse to open the door. He smiled at me warmly.
"Nice to see you today. Have a good Chuseok," he said with a wide grin. He opened the door a bit wider and took the few bags from my hand. He watched as I took off my shoes, "I'm sorry that even on a day like this, you have to take care of my father," I said, bowing slightly.
The older man waved it off, "Oh no, Yumi will take over later in the day. We've arranged it so that both of us can spend the day with our families," he informed me, and I nodded in understanding. "But it's nice that you're here. Your father will surely appreciate it," he added as he led me into the living room.
There, I saw my father immediately. He was in his wheelchair, staring at the television. He was watching something, but he changed the channel as I entered the room. I looked at the nurse, "Well... let's hope so," I said softly as I then approached my father.
As always, though, it felt very awkward. I greeted him, but received no response. Now, I sat on the couch, drinking the tea the nurse had prepared for me, and like my father, I simply stared at the TV. We didn't talk. We didn't look at each other. As usual, we sat with some distance between us and just watched TV.
Painful minutes passed without us speaking to each other. After about an hour, I got up. Finally, my father looked at me. But he didn't say anything. He simply shifted his attention back to the television. I bowed once more and wished him happy Chuseok again. Then, I made my way back to the front door after placing the cup in the kitchen. There, I wished the nurse a happy holiday and bid him farewell.
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Sighing, I opened the front door and closed it behind me. I took off my shoes and also removed my jacket. I yawned a bit, but it wasn't time for me to sleep yet. It was only 6 PM in the evening. I hadn't eaten anything either, as I spent half the day watching my K-Drama.
I let out another sigh as I hung up my jacket, "There you are. Where have you been?" I heard someone say. Startled, I twitched slightly and looked with wide eyes at the person emerging from the kitchen. My mouth opened as I noticed Minji. I hesitated for a moment.
"I... What are you doing here?" I asked, visibly surprised by her presence. We still had a day off. Most people would probably come tomorrow...
"You're spending the holidays alone... I wanted to keep you company," the younger one replied. She scrutinized me closely, and God... her eyes...
I cleared my throat and nodded my head, "Uh, oh... That's nice," I said, and I could feel my face flushing. I immediately looked to the side, "Well... I was just about to order something... would you like something too?" I finally managed to look back at her face.
Minji looked at me. But I couldn't decipher her gaze. Why exactly... was she looking at me like that? She wasn't smiling, but she also didn't seem angry or serious. She just looked... so breathtaking...
"I'm here for a reason, Y/n," the younger one said. I swallowed, visibly nervous. She... had just said my name again. She was speaking informally to me again. I opened my mouth, "And... what's that?" I asked, my fingers fidgeting with the hem of my sweater.
Minji licked her lips. She sighed a bit and turned around, "My mother gave us something. I'm in the process of heating it up. Go ahead and sit in the living room," she said and then disappeared back into the kitchen. She didn't even wait for a response from me.
But why was she looking at me like that? Why, above all, did I feel so nervous around her? Why the hell couldn't I forget the kiss between her and Yeji? Everything was just so confusing... What was Minji doing to me? Why was she driving me crazy like this?
I did as she asked and went into the living room. There, I turned the TV back on and let my K-Drama continue playing. Meanwhile, I tidied up the coffee table a bit.
It didn't take long for Minji to come into the living room with the Japchae dish. My eyes widened as I looked at the food. It... was the first time I was having a holiday meal with someone, and to top it off, homemade food. I swallowed, feeling a lump in my throat already.
"Tell your mom thanks," I said. Minji sat down next to me and handed me my chopsticks. Together, we started eating. Every bite I took filled me with warmth. I could feel my heart rate speeding up. I inhaled the food.
I wondered how my mother's cooking would taste. Would she have made me Japchae too? Would she be proud of me? Would she love me?
"I like you."
My eyes widened. I abruptly stopped eating and looked up. I gazed at Minji, who was just staring at me. I swallowed in surprise, and slowly I set the chopsticks aside. I looked at the younger one, "What did you say?" I asked, and I started to stutter a bit.
Minji looked at me. Her eyes roamed over my face. She took a deep breath, "I like you. In a romantic way," the younger one repeated. My breath caught. She wasn't giving me a chance to escape from this conversation or misunderstand it.
In a romantic way...
I remained speechless for a while, completely taken aback. Minji just observed me. She was giving me time to process it all. I swallowed and looked at the younger one. Goosebumps formed on my arms. I... didn't know how to respond to that. I also wouldn't have expected Minji to like me...
"But... We haven't known each other for long," I said, and Minji nodded her head.
"I'm your Unnie," she nodded again.
"We... We're in a group," I said, almost breathless. Now Minji's expression became somewhat more serious. She shook her head, "Don't make excuses... Do you like me too?" she asked, silencing me. My breath caught as my eyes widened. I looked at the younger one.
I noticed Minji getting closer to me, "Say it... Tell me the truth, Y/n... Do you like me too?" she asked, her eyes narrowing a bit as her hand gripped my wrist. I swallowed. My face blushed as I felt her intense gaze on me. My heart rate sped up.
"D-Don't lie... If, if you really like me... Why did you kiss Yeji like that?" I asked now, and Minji's eyes widened. She took a moment, and after a short while, she began to laugh. She let go of my wrist to cover her mouth while she laughed. But I wasn't in the mood to laugh.
Minji chuckled. Her hand landed on my nape, "You're so adorable... after all these months, you're still thinking about that kiss?" she asked, and her eyes met mine directly. I swallowed, visibly nervous. I removed her hand from my nape. My eyes narrowed.
Minji still had a faint smile, "Forget about the kiss... I kissed her just to see if you'd react... I wanted to know if you felt anything for me before I confessed my feelings," the younger one answered as she continued to observe me closely. My eyes still narrowed.
I sighed incredulously, "Wow... You could have just asked me!" I replied, but then I faltered. My eyes widened, and Minji smiled even broader. She nodded her head, moving a bit closer to me. Her hand was now on my cheek, "I guess I don't need to ask anymore, do I?" she asked, a knowing grin on her face.
I hesitated. My eyes locked onto hers. Without giving an answer, I was the one who sealed our lips together. Minji had to smile into the kiss, but she kissed me back. I closed my eyes, and I felt my body visibly relax.
Minji stroked my hair with her hand before finding my nape again. She adjusted the angle of her head, intensifying the kiss. Yet, the kiss remained gentle.
"I think... we should go to my room," Minji said, almost breathless. Her eyes locked onto mine as I still struggled to catch my breath. I licked my lips. My heart was racing wildly in my chest.
"Okay," I replied and immediately stood up from the couch. Minji had her hand entwined with mine, and she led the way. My entire face turned red as she led us to her room.
#newjeans minji#danielle#newjeans#newjeans x reader#haerin#newjeans hanni#newjeans hyein#minji x reader#hanni pham
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In Defense of Sebastian Sallow.
Lately I've seen a lot of people who generally liked him in the beginning slowly start to change their minds, calling him a toxic manipulator & saying he was using MC for his agenda from the very beginning. I strongly disagree and in this post I'm going to give my reasons why I don't believe he's as black and white as people have begun to paint him.
I also want to add that everyone is entitled to feel however they want about his character & storyline. The purpose of this post isn't to imply there's a right or wrong interpretation, it's all just my opinion. Being able to discuss and debate this character is the very reason why he's by far the most interesting, or even realistic, companion in the game.
I will only be discussing his arc until the end of the quest 'In The Shadow Of The Estate', in which you visit his family home and investigate the surrounding area - else this post would go on forever. Naturally, there will be spoilers ahead.
- If you're sorted into Slytherin, he's likely the first person you speak to in your common room. He immediately expresses interest in how you ended up at Hogwarts after the dragon attack but doesn't press you for answers. I think, like everyone else at the school, he's just very curious about you. He generally also seems to have a thirst for knowledge like his parents had and I think most people just assumed he's sus from the start because he's a charming Slytherin.
- Within the same conversation, if you express interest in Sebastian's book and the Dark Arts, he warms up to you instantly and calls you a "kindred spirit" - likely because no one else in his life shares his views on the subject.
- If you're sorted into Gryffindor (ikdr!), Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, you meet him in your first Defense Against The Dark Arts class and beat him in a duel. From this point, he becomes a friend to you and I truly believe he's just a generally nice, personable guy who will befriend anyone.
- In terms of the Hogsmeade visit, I'm told Seb & Natty have mostly the same dialogue/actions so I don't think there's anything special to discuss there since if Natty has sincere intentions in opening up and befriending you, why shouldn't Sebastian?
- Just wanna talk about a tiny instance he proves his genuine care for MC that really stood out to me even though the action isn't exclusive to him: In the Three Broomsticks cutscene when Rookwood points out that he's looking for MC, Sebastian will - without hesitation - jump out of his seat to take on a fighting stance. It's made very clear that he WILL protect you if it comes to blows.
- The next time you see Sebastian is when you ask him about the Restricted Section. Even if you aren't totally transparent with him, he easily agrees to helping you & risks getting into more trouble despite the fact that he won't gain anything from it.- One might say he agreed to help because he's nosy, but he ends up leaving you alone and wishes you luck before chasing after Peeves. He also never forces you to expose what you've learned.
- "I like having friends who are in my debt." This line for some reason has become "proof" that he's a manipulator to some people and personally, I don't see it? I saw it as his way of cracking a joke & lightening what was a very stressful situation for the MC. Added to the fact that even after he takes the fall for you and you thank him for it later, he brushes it off as if it's not a big deal. Also, he never holds it over your head and at no point in the game does he make you feel indebted to him.
- Additionally when he's caught, he has no idea that you're watching. Therefore his instinct to protect you and make sure you stay out of trouble is entirely sincere.
- Something else that a lot of people reference when talking about how he's a manipulator is him supposedly spilling all his secrets as a means of gaining your trust: immediately inviting you to Crossed Wands, betraying Ominis' trust by showing you the Undercroft, telling you about Anne's curse etc. Again, I disagree. This is a 15 year old boy, he's definitely not an evil mastermind; in fact, I'd argue he's too impulsive to even consider making long-term plans like that. Now this might be a reach on my part but I think he's yearning for a similar companionship as he had with Anne. Sebastian even says later in the game that the curse has completely changed her, and not just physically. I think the reason he's so open so quickly is because he's genuinely just more excited than anything to have a new "partner in crime".
- I also want to remind everyone that only in the Undercroft are you "forced" by the game to tell him the whole truth if you've chosen to keep it a secret. Yet regardless of whether he knows about your special abilities or not, he still treats you exactly the same. He's still just as charming, teasing, friendly and genuinely gives you the feeling that he likes you. I'd even go as far as saying he's the only companion who really feels like a friend (which I think comes down to his personality, writing + his voice actor's amazing line delivery).
- Also in the Undercroft, he doesn't really have anything to gain from letting you in or teaching you Confringo. In my opinion, he knows there are dangerous men after you (even if you haven't told him yet) and just wants you to have a means of protecting yourself since you're "behind" on the work.- It could be argued that he just wants a secret place to practice forbidden spells with you but at no point in the game does he force you to learn the Unforgivables. [In a meta sense, he has to reveal the Undercroft to you regardless since it plays a massive role in the main quest.]
- In the end, he invites you to Feldcroft to meet with Anne so you can hopefully cheer her up. I can't see any "manipulation" in this either since he didn't plan for the argument with his Uncle Solomon, nor did he plan on Anne suddenly falling ill. I think that when it comes to Anne, he generally has good intentions, and genuinely wanted her to meet and befriend you like he had.
- After the whole debacle in the Sallow house, you and Sebastian snoop around Isadora's home and end up back at the Undercroft. It is only here that he finally understands your abilities and brings up the idea that your ancient magic COULD help Anne. Sebastian has exhausted every single option in his arsenal at this point and I think he's just clinging to anything he hasn't explored yet. But he only brings it up here, he never even considers it prior to this which is why I believe him being kind to you, helping you and becoming your friend had no secret intention.
In conclusion, I don't believe he's been manipulating the MC from the start. I truly believe his intentions in befriending MC were sincere and that he does "change" as he delves deeper into the Dark Arts. With characters like Sebastian, I don't think it does them justice to be put in a box. He's just too complex for that, and when making your final decision in the game keep in mind that this fictional kid is neither totally good nor totally bad, he's just human.
#sebastian sallow#hogwarts legacy#sebastian x reader#sebastian x you#ominis gaunt#anne sallow#solomon sallow#hogwarts legacy sebastian#hogwarts legacy ominis
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Sonder: Part III
Parts: I II III IV V
member: enhypen heeseung! x oc! woo ki yeom [3rd person pov]
genre: coming of age, slice of life, angst, romance
w/c: 5.8k
warnings: topics on religion, distressed relationships, mental health (I want to leave an a/n here that I grew up with my maternal family being Buddhists so what I've written is based off what I researched online and the way her family practised Buddhism. I'm personally a free-tinker and this narrative is not in any way meant to offend nor support any particular religion.)
synopsis: after being kicked out of her home, Woo Ki Yeom is forced to live life on her own. struggling to find herself in the midst of her chaotic life, she meets lee heeseung, who, like her, can't give any more fucks to life than she does.
"n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own."
By the time Sim Ji Yeon had realised what was happening, she knew deep down in her heart that it was too late. She was stuck with the dilemma of whether she should aggressively offer Ki Yeom support, or let her writhe in her own pain for a while, especially since she knew that Ki Yeom might take it the wrong way if she went with the first option.
Ki Yeom's pride and ego was fed to her since they were children. She had grown up in a stable home, both parents worked and so, they were better than the average household. She didn't have a difficult childhood that would've otherwise created a timid and inferior person.
Her confidence was further fed by the years in which she excelled in every single arts class she took. She had the perfect knack for it, always creating original pieces and never having trouble finding inspiration for her assignments.
Ji Yeon had always admired her eye for the arts, while she was stuck as the boring, better-looking-than-average girl who loved volleyball. She was well aware of the attention that dragged around with her wherever she went - boys would come to her matches just to see her and her teammates. She would get random love notes and gifts from people she didn't even know.
While Ki Yeom somewhat teased her and envied her for this 'small celebrity' life, Ji Yeon would've much preferred being talented in her own, safe bubble.
The hard part during the entire process of the falling out was the fact that Ji Yeon hadn't heard about Ki Yeom being kicked out of her home from her, but instead through friends who somehow knew people who had seen her looking for single-room apartments to rent.
Talk about a small world.
And talk about not sharing your worst nightmares with your best friend.
Ji Yeon remembers the day she felt Ki Yeom had given up on her friendship, and till this day, she doesn't know exactly why. Ji Yeon had decided to wait near the building that Ki Yeom used to stay with her parents. She's been over multiple times, so it wasn't hard to blend in with all the convenience and food stalls owners greeting her.
She figured that Ki Yeom probably still had to come back to pick up more things.
But hours turned into days and by the time she had waited three days, Ji Yeon realised that Ki Yeom had completely moved out for good. Then, she spots her mother leaving the apartment building.
She's hesitant at first, but it's the only way she will ever find out anything about Ki Yeom without needing to spam call her.
With tired eyes and a broken heart, her mother tells Ji Yeon that she hadn't seen her daughter since the day she ruined the altar.
"Ruined the altar?" Ji Yeon's lips part in startled surprise. "But..."
Her voice trails quiet when she realises she doesn't know what to say. She can't imagine what Ki Yeom is feeling, much less her parents.
"I don't suppose... you know where she is?"
The elder shakes her head gently. "You're the only person who has a shot at knowing where she's gone. So if you don't know, then I definitely wouldn't."
There's something harsh and direct in her voice, that almost makes Ji Yeon uneasy.
"Alright," She chooses not to pry. "I understand. I'm... so sorry this happened."
A chilly gush of wind runs between them.
Her mother parts her lips and inhales slightly, as if already finding the words to say - but she decides against it and swallows instead. "I have to go run my errands."
"Of course," Ji Yeon slightly bows and lets her on her way. She stays, long enough until Ki Yeom's mother disappears down the corner.
Ji Yeon wonders if she will ever visit their home again.
She will spend the next few weeks leaving Ki Yeom texts. Calls. Even resorting to E-mails and leaving her DMs on Instagram. She starts to think of herself that she's pathetic, but no, she can't think this way. Her best friend was just kicked out. She's probably lost and afraid. And honestly, she might not even be alive. What if something happened to her and nobody found her body?
But somehow, she finds comfort in knowing that she hasn't heard from her in months now. At least she's alive, and her body hasn't been thrown in a ditch somewhere and in the news, with the headline 'MURDERER ON THE LOOSE'.
And yet, everytime she tries to comfort herself to think this way, she can't help but think - why is she not speaking to me?
What have I done wrong?
Months turned into trimesters and trimesters turned into a scholarship offer to a university in another state. Ji Yeon decides that fate will bring her back to Ki Yeom when the time is right.
She leaves, and decides that she will only come back during her longer summer breaks.
And in the blink of an eye, she graduates next year.
But to Ji Yeon, this meant that it had been four years without Ki Yeom. How could Ki Yeom pretend that she didn't exist anymore? How could she move on with life, not accounting for what happened to her? Doesn't Ki Yeom know that she cares, especially with all the shit she's sent her?
Ji Yeon is not one to get angry easily, but Ki Yeom is the exception. Perhaps she hasn't tried hard enough.
She googles her name. She scrolls through the 'Ki Yeom's whom she know aren't her Ki Yeom.
Then, she stops when she notices the name under a tattoo parlour's search result. Ji Yeon hunts for the address on their website, and finds it.
Just about thirty minutes away from where Ki Yeom used to stay.
"Ki Yeom might look a little cold, but she promises her best. Top of sales 2022." Was written as her description. No photo though.
Ji Yeon picks up her phone and drops her some messages.
"She hasn't spoken to you in four years and you still want to go look for her?"
Ji Yeon is quiet. She knows how ridiculous it sounds from someone else's perspective. Ki Yeom clearly doesn't want to be found and reconnected, so why should she go out of her way to do it for her?
"Think about how we left off, don't you think it'd be terrible of me to not even... get some kind of closure?"
Sunghoon frowns at her, crossing his arms over his chest and slightly rolling his eyes. He's never liked this 'Ki Yeom' whom he's never met. By the time he had met Ji Yeon in university, he thought the falling out was through and finished. He knew that Ji Yeon had always wanted to find her and find closure, but he thinks otherwise.
"It would've been terrible if you didn't try to reach out but the thing is you did and you tried. I don't know why you think you haven't done enough."
"Well, maybe you think I've done enough, but it's not enough for her."
"Come on," He pushes his hair back and sits in a chair, back slouched and his elbows on his knees. "Love, I just- From my perspective, she sounds like she doesn't care about anybody else. If she had wanted to reconnect or find closure like you do, she would've responded by now. But it's been four years. We met, dated, fell in love and moved in together in these four years."
Ji Yeon sighs.
"Have you ever thought that she just... outgrew the friendship? Like, I don't know, maybe her getting kicked out of her home just escalated it. Like it was an event that forced the two of you apart and it was just... meant to be? It hurts to see you trying so hard and she doesn't reciprocate. I get that she's your childhood friend but that doesn't mean she would do and think the same way you do."
"I know what you mean," She's quiet as she turns and looks at him. "But I just... Maybe if I see her one last time. Just over a cup of coffee or something. She doesn't have to catch me up nor does she have to give in to my 'needs'. Maybe I just want to see that she's well and taking care of herself."
Sunghoon stands and walks over to where she's sitting at her desk, standing near enough so she can rest her head in his stomach.
The next day proved a challenge for Ji Yeon, a challenge she didn't even think she had to deal with. She had found the tattoo parlour as early as after lunch with Sunghoon, who reluctantly left her alone. Ji Yeon felt nothing less like a creep, spending the entire afternoon sitting at the coffee shop just a few doors down from the parlour.
The challenge was mustering up the courage to speak to Ki Yeom after four years. Why was she even finding this hard? They were best friends, weren't they? And as far as Ji Yeon knew, she didn't do anything wrong on her end. If anything, this was just a case of a fading friendship, not a messy falling out.
She thought, and thought, and panicked, and thought again, until the sun had set. There were more clients leaving than entering, she thought that this was her chance.
Now or never.
Her throat had gone dry when she stood at the door, fingers wrapped on the metal handle and ready to push herself in. Ki Yeom had shoulder-length brown hair, but with her black roots growing out on the crown of her head. She was sat in a roller chair, backfacing the front door, turned and talking to a guy with bright, bleached pink hair who was definitely a couple years older than her. And another girl, around the same age or even younger, with her hair cut so short, some might mistake her for the opposite gender.
Then again, Ji Yeon knows better than to bother about that.
"Hi. I'm looking for Ki Yeom, I saw somewhere that she worked here."
WHAT? She thinks to herself. She's literally standing infront of you, why would you ask that?
Ki Yeom takes a moment to stand and turn, like she already recognised her voice before she even saw Ji Yeon.
Oh, my God. It's like meeting an ex again.
Ji Yeon's heart drops when she can see how much Ki Yeom has grown in four years. She aches to know that she wasn't by her side, following her through the healing she probably needed.
"Who told you I worked here?" The words are cold, and sharp. Like her mother's. Ji Yeon starts to sweat, the warm gush of uneasiness sweeping through her when you feel unwell or about to faint.
Ji Yeon's mind is running at a thousand miles per hour. Say something!
"I... I googled you," Ji Yeon gulps. She can see the knowing scowls and squints from Ki Yeom's two acquaintances. They must think she's a bitch. "Took me a couple of minutes, but it wasn't that hard to find your name as a tattoo artist in this parlour."
Ki Yeom rubs the back of her neck, looking exasperated and at a loss of patience, like she were thinking 'I don't have the fucking time for this.'
She turns around and begins a mini discussion with her acquaintances, which Ji Yeon realises, if she's close enough to trust them in times like this, then Ki Yeom must consider them friends.
She has been replaced.
Ji Yeon isn't surprised. It was a sooner-or-later thing.
But why did it hurt the same?
She can hear the 's'-es and the whispering they're doing whilst turned back. She wonders if they know who she was, or if Ki Yeom has kept her an embarrassing secret and memory she doesn't want to relive.
There's a little scuffle. Someone swats someone on the arm, and someone knees the boy in his groin. Then the short haired girl drags him away, leaving Ki Yeom alone with her.
When Ki Yeom turns around, there's this fierceness and sternness in her eyes. Ji Yeon knew that she wouldn't be meeting the same person she became best friends with back then, but it hit her harder now that she's seeing this new-and-improved version of Ki Yeom.
Ji Yeon can see that she doesn't have much to say, so she starts first.
"I know you've been reading my texts," She says quickly, hoping to get some reaction out of her.
Nothing.
"I just wanted to know how you were doing. I don't know anything about you anymore and I just can't stand to know that... I no longer know anything about you and your life."
"I don't know why it matters that you don't know anything. My parents don't know anything. Nobody knows anything, but I'm fine and well."
Ji Yeon is stunned at how quickly she responded. It's almost like she had rehearsed for a moment like this. Has Ki Yeom just been waiting for Ji Yeon to show up, so she can tell her to fuck off?
"It matters because I care," She wishes that Ki Yeom can hear the sincerity in her voice. "It matters because you basically disappeared, and for the last couple of years, I've been stuck wondering what I've done wrong. And if it was my fault that the friendship has turned sour."
"It's not your fault, it's mine. For being an ass."
Ji Yeon didn't even realise she was holding her breath until Ki Yeom finishes her quick-witted reply. The words start to come out naturally.
"So at least tell me how you were being an ass. You have so much spine to be out here making a life for your own but you don't have a spine enough to tell me why I had to google you?"
"'Spine to be out here'?" Ki Yeom snaps her head and squints at her, clenching her jaw as she strings the words together. "Have you... forgotten why I was even made to be out here making a life for myself?"
Oh.
Ji Yeon didn't mean for it to come off that way. Ki Yeom must know she didn't mean it like that. Right? ...Right?
"I'm sorry. That wasn't what I meant."
In Ji Yeon's peripheral vision, a client pays at the cashier's. He awkwardly walks around them, arm wrapped in a protective foil as the light reflects off the surface.
She thinks carefully about what to say next. It feels like years before she can think of how to put it across.
"Look, I... I just want to know what happened. And... if after all the clearing up, you still hate me and our paths have just... diverged too far and too long ago, then... I will just have to make peace with it."
Ji Yeon pauses. She thinks about what Sunghoon said to her earlier today.
"But I can't just leave this... it's like abandoning my house without reason."
Her eyes are teary and she can feel the sour ball creeping up in her throat and her nose.
But Ki Yeom doesn't look like she gives a single fuck.
Ki Yeom's head falls in the gap between her arm and herself, nodding herself awake. She looks down at her sketchbook, instinctively rubbing her forehead to get any pencil markings off her skin.
She turns and looks at the clock. 2.23am.
Sighing and yawning at the same time, she looks around her apartment, spotting the unwashed pot from her instant-noodle supper sitting by the sink.
She recalls the encounter at the tattoo parlour earlier that evening, where Miss Little Perfect showed up and demanded for a redeeming coffee break tomorrow.
Ki Yeom rubs her eyes and yawns again, finally getting up from her desk and making her way over to wash the dishes.
Suddenly, life had so many offerings to provide her.
Picking up her phone, she slips on her slides and heads out the door, making a point to close it quietly. Then she turns and heads for the lift, in her peripheral vision, noticing that the nosy boy's door was slightly ajar.
She ignores it, turning for the lift and dragging her headphones over her head-
Then she hears the piano keys, and the singing.
Ki Yeom will admit that she didn't think that would stop her in her tracks, but it did.
She stays in the same spot for a few seconds, listening to the random piano keys, then him singing or humming a tune, then the piano keys again.
He's writing an original, she realises.
Well, if he can be nosy, so can I.
She finds herself at the door, peeking in through the gap.
He's sat, angled backwards against the door, with a portable keyboard infront of him and a notebook in his lap. She looks around, and spots his desk - which was a round dining table that he probably picked up from someone's garage sale - strewn with lecture notes.
Ki Yeom leans against the door frame, quietly studying the apartment that resembled hers while listening to the music-in-progress. Her eyes are mindless, until they finally return to him sitting at his piano.
Except, now he's staring at her, wide-eyed and surprised.
"How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to tell that you gave up on studying," She pushes the door open and nods toward his dining table. "Sitting against an open door isn't very smart. I could've gone in and stolen something and you wouldn't have known."
"Well," He shrugs, picking up the notebook from his lap and tossing it on his dining table. He starts to gather the papers and binded notes. "Thank God it's you, then. I'd just have to worry about missing a washing machine token."
Ki Yeom rolls her eyes, but doesn't hide the little smile that curls up on her lips.
"Couldn't sleep?" He lifts the stack off the table, aligning them against the surface and placing them nicely in the centre.
She scratches the spot under her ear. "It's... a little more than 'couldn't sleep', I guess."
Heeseung turns to face her, arms reaching back to lean on the edge of the dining table. But it wobbles from how old it is, so he clears his throat and stands away from it instead.
"I'd invite you to come in and talk about it but I don't want to seem creepy," A pause. "Nor does it seem like I have adequate, functioning furniture to host a guest."
Ki Yeom chuckles, which is a surprise. Maybe it's just the 3am lack of discipline and awareness.
"I was going to go on a walk."
"At..." He picks up his phone. The screen lights up his face. "3am?"
"Why, scared of the dark?"
"No, I'm scared that I'd be murdered in an alley and thrown in a ditch."
"Yeah, because you live in a dangerous country," Ki Yeom pushes herself off the door frame, hoping that the sarcasm can be detected. "No obligations. If you prefer to sleep, then good night."
Heeseung shrugs, picking up his keys and phone and shoving them into his pockets.
"Can't say no to a 3am storytelling session though," With a cheeky smile on his lips, he walks to the door. Ki Yeom moves to let him close the door, only now realising how tall he was.
Maybe Jun Yeol was just short.
"Who said anything about a 3am storytelling session?" She says as-a-matter-of-factly. As he locks the door, she heads to press the lift button.
"Well, I'm just a nosy stranger. And you walked right up to my door, striking up a conversation with me. Besides, who am I gonna tell about your dramatic life story?"
The boy pulls his key out of the door and turns around, tilting his head at her. His eyes are tired, the kinds that sleep but not quality. The kinds that try their best, but it's never enough.
Perfectionist eyes.
Ki Yeom knows because those were hers too.
"So why are you up at 3am?" She quietly asks.
"Hm," He hums in thought, eyes looking up at the panel displaying the floors the lift was climbing. "Somewhere between existential crisis and can't sleep. If that makes any sense."
"'Existential crisis', huh?"
There's a silence that envelops the both of them as the lift reaches. She doesn't even know his name but she can tell what type of person he is - or at least, she can guess. She conjures the thought, 'What if he's a serial killer luring her in so he can murder her in the middle of the night?'
Nah, Mr Hsien has seen his face. If he were a serial killer, he wasn't a very smart one.
"I'm Heeseung, by the way," He turns to her in the lift, awkwardly raising a palm to her. "I just realised I know your name but you don't know mine."
Ki Yeom gingerly takes his hand, giving him a firm shake as she does some of her clients. "Nice to know."
"So, what do you do? I mean, you don't seem like you go to university."
"I'm a tattoo artist."
"Oh, shit. No kidding?" Heeseung looks pleasantly taken aback. "Would love to get one one day. Where? Is the parlour nearby?"
"Just about a twenty minute bus ride into town," The doors open into the lobby, the security guard at the counter exchanging glances with them.
"Town? You're a fancy tattoo artist. What, do you like top sales or something?" He giggles as they walk out the building. The cool, crisp breeze kisses her skin and she instantly hugs herself. Ki Yeom remains quiet to his question, merely shrugging her shoulders.
"No," He turns to her and folds his arms across his chest, hugging his arm pits. "That's crazy! Are you really? You're like some super talented tattoo artist, and I'm just some... stupid student that can't beat the curve in school."
"What do you study in university?"
"Performing Arts - But the thing they don't tell you is that half the things you study is theory, which don't work that well with me."
"I heard you just now, with the piano and the singing. You sound good, is it an original? For a project or something?"
They stop at a traffic light. Opposite the building was a park. The crickets were chirping, the street lamps were sizzling and there wasn't a single soul in sight. Some cars driving down the main road, but it had been awhile since Ki Yeom had found the motivation to leave home for something that wasn't work.
"Uh- Yeah? I guess? It's more of just a 'me' thing. But, I also tutor kids. Piano lessons. So they help me sort of... sort it out in my head. Makes it abit easier to teach when I'm figuring out the notes and bars myself."
"Interesting," Ki Yeom nods. The traffic light turns to the green man. She smiles when she realises they didn't even need to wait for that, since it was so empty.
"Why?" Heeseung shoves his hands into his pockets, smile mimicking hers. "Realised we didn't have to wait?"
"Yeah. It's so empty."
"We're law-abiding citizens, what do I say?"
They enter the park, the scent of grass and trees filling their noses. Ki Yeom can see the birds scattered about in the grass, slowly walking or standing almost completely still. The leaves were gently rustling in the breeze. Empty cups, food wrappers, tissues, strewn here and there and on benches.
"By the way, I was joking about the storytelling. You don't have to share if you're uncomfortable. It's just... nice to talk to someone that's not from school."
Ki Yeom walks quietly, sitting in her thoughts. He must've understood her silence, for he goes quiet as well, matching her pace and looking around like he hadn't already been to this park a couple of times.
She considers the day's events. First, being told she had an opportunity to leave everything she had here, to go be part of an art organisation. Then, being told she had topped this months' sale (again), followed by Ji Yeon showing up at the parlour. It had been four years since she had seen her.
Suddenly, she's tired. Her lids are heavy and her heart is torn into shreds. Maybe it wasn't that great of an idea to go for a walk with a stranger at 3am.
"It was a long day. Alot of things happened," Ki Yeom starts, unsure how to continue. She didn't want to seem like she was trauma dumping or asking him for advice when he barely knew her.
"Oh," There's a hint of sadness in his voice as he can hear the reluctance to share. "I understand. It's alright. You don't have to divulge anything. We can walk the whole park in silence. Or if you want to go back, that's totally fine with me too-"
"No, it's okay," Ki Yeom shakes her head and rubs her palm down her eyes and the rest of her face. "I just..."
She strings the thoughts together, holding her breath as she does.
"I was offered... a thing. My boss told me that she had an opportunity to send someone overseas. To be part of a touring art organisation."
She looks up at Heeseung, watching his face for any reaction. As opposed to before, he suddenly had this slightly heavy look on his face, as if he instantly knew what it meant to have such a grand offer... in such a faraway place.
"That... That is something," He nods as he acknowledges it. "I assume there's a 'but'?"
Ki Yeom rubs the back of her neck and turns away from him.
"I mean, it's not easy for anybody to leave anywhere, honestly. Even if they had nothing else left, it still wouldn't be easy."
"You sound like you know this experience yourself."
Heeseung turns and looks at her intently, his tired eyes getting even more tired.
"I'm the total opposite, actually. I had... everything. Like I had a nice home, my family is intact unlike alot of my friends. Supportive environment. But... when I left to find... a purpose, I felt lost. It was my decision, yes, but... it's hard to leave somewhere you're comfortable in."
"You left home to find 'purpose'?" Ki Yeom stifles a little chuckle.
"Well, yeah," Heeseung grins, knowing how stupid it sounded out loud. "I wanted to find out what life was about, you know? I didn't want to stay sheltered. I wanted to meet crazy people and do crazy things and see where the wind blows me."
"That doesn't sound like the life a university student should be living. Just being a student on it's own already takes away the freedom to do that."
"I know, I know," He rolls his eyes half-exasperatedly. "I realised."
They both go quiet again. Ki Yeom is pleasantly surprised at how easy he seems. She wonders if she's being nice and vulnerable because it's 3am.
Yeah, probably.
"So what's keeping you here?"
Ki Yeom smiles, but it's weak and sad and depressing. "What isn't?" She turns and looks at him, then turns back to look straight.
"I grew up a devoted Buddhist and my family practised it to the T. Then, about six years ago, my father lost his job and we were broke for a few years. In those two years, we scrimped and saved. My grandfather had tried to help, but my parents... believe it or not, didn't accept it. Out of filial piety. It's one of the most valued principles in Buddhism. I came home one day, tired and exhausted from work, and my room was literally sold out. The furniture, the lamp, the damn bed."
She pauses. The memories come back in quick flashes in her head.
"I ruined the altar. Shoved everything off. My mother kicked me out. And I had so few things left that it took me an hour to get everything I needed out of the apartment. I walked aimlessly for hours, just wishing that a car would run me down and I'd never have to open my eyes again. I somehow fell asleep just a few shops down the tattoo parlour, and I don't know what it is that the owner of the parlour saw in me, but she waited until I woke up, gave me a pad and pencil and told me to draw. I don't know how she knew that I loved art. But I was at a loss and honestly, I had nothing better to do. So, I drew."
A pause.
The grains of rock and sand crunch under their feet as they stroll under a lamp.
"And she hired you."
"And told me that this apartment building had rooms for rent and that she'd pay for the first few months until I could sustain myself."
"What a lad," Heeseung nods. "What did you draw? That made her hire you?"
Ki Yeom stops in her tracks. Heeseung hears the crunching stop behind him, so he stops too and turns to look at her.
"I... I drew my room. Down to every single detail. Before it was sold and ruined."
Now, her voice is quiet, low, and raspy. The type that comes from someone who is about to cry. Heeseung can see that Ki Yeom is fighting all the urges in her throat and nose not to stifle a sob, because her eyes were already welling with tears.
But she blinks, and breathes through her mouth so he wouldn't have to hear the sniffling. Then all that resolution to keep it under wraps crumbles under the weight of letting it out for the first time, directly telling someone the whole truth without them having to probe and ask for them to fit the pieces together.
Ki Yeom squats and buries her eyes in the heart of her palms, her lips finally contorting into a quivering, shivering slobber as her tears and mucus start to run down her philtrum. She's feeling light-headed, but her chest heavy, from all the feelings that were bottled up and never once poured out.
A warm, gentle hand lands on her shoulder, a shadow casting over her as he stands in a spot to block the lamp from shining all over her.
Ki Yeom doesn't have a clue how long she was in that position, because it felt like forever. The tears were relentless - caught up for four years, and she hasn't even told him everything that happened that day. Would she cry even more?
One way to find out.
She lifts her head, hair messily stuck to her face because of the tears, and coughs, "You know... My best friend..." She chokes and hiccups in between the words as he looks down at her, tired eyes trying to show sympathy.
"She's just so fucking perfect, and I... I hate her for it.... She lived a perfect life, you know? Popular, smart, pretty... happy. Her family was so fucking... textbook. Sometimes I wondered if she was friends with me to... make herself feel better. I hated how much she tried to compensate for... something that wasn't even her fault. I hated that she started paying for me... or started defending me and protecting me in front of others just so they didn't think I was a loser."
She sighs and wipes her philtrum with her fingers, the glistening music on her nails and fingerpads as she wipes them off on her pants.
"I saw her for the first time today... In four years... asking me for a cup of coffee so we could talk about what happened... But I have nothing to say. What do I even say?"
"You can say what you just told me."
Ki Yeom looks up at him, wandering eyes unsure of what he means.
Then he squats, meeting her at eye level and awkwardly trying to pick her hair out of her face without it seeming like he was flirting with her.
"I think it's valid that you felt the way you did. I mean, all that that you went through? Not everybody knows how it feels. I'm sure she meant well, but I'm also positive that you would've felt the same way about anybody who tried to do those things. So, it was nothing personal."
He folds his arms over each other and wraps them on his knees.
"If it makes you feel better, I'd be annoyed too. If I had a perfect specimen of a person trying to make me feel better. Who wouldn't? It's like salt rubbing salt in a wound."
Ki Yeom gulps the phlegm and musuc away, rubbing her eyes.
"I think... you should go get that cup of coffee and push through it. It's the only way to resolve this."
"But I spent four years running, and I didn't hate it," She wipes the tears dripping off her jawline and stares at the rocks under his slides.
"Clearly, the more you run, the more she's gonna run after you and I'm sure you don't want to deal with her ten years from now again?"
Ki Yeom looks up and into his eyes now, his fringe slightly covering them.
"Here's the important question: Do you think you've been living life fine without her?"
Her eyes drift off to look at the bush on the grass.
"If the answer is 'no', then it's your chance to redeem yourself and mend things with her. But if the answer is 'yes', then sometimes a chapter just... ends. Without you knowing. Things happen. Just because it happened doesn't mean it's your fault."
She looks back at him, swollen eyes slightly drier, but eyelids heavier.
Heeseung is quiet now. He's said his piece, and has nothing else left to share.
"Come on," He whispers, just loud enough for her to hear as he gently grabs her arm. "Let's get you back home and to bed."
Ki Yeom weakly stands, knees trembling from squatting too long. He has a palm on her arm the entire walk home, in silence. The security guard almost looks concerned - he hasn't ever seen this resident cry.
The lift doors open with a ding, but before Heeseung can walk her rightways to her door, she pauses and looks at him.
"Do you think... do you think you can stay with me tonight?" She blinks her tired eyes, not even looking at him. "Not in the same bed, just... with me."
Heeseung blinks, slightly taken aback with the request. His lips are parted in a bid to protest and say that it would be inappropriate, considering that she was just tired and in a vulnerable state and it could've been easily misunderstood the following morning- but she puts a stop to it, for she quite literally mutters the words:
"I've been alone for so long, sometimes I wonder if I would be happier if I wasn't awake."
PART IV
#heeseung imagines#heeseung angst#heeseung scenarios#heeseung fluff#enhypen scenarios#enhypen angst#enhypen imagines
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Basorexia with any guy of your choosing.
"basorexia - the overwhelming desire to kiss" with tyson jost
You were pretty certain you'd never wanted to kiss someone this badly in your entire life.
Add to it that Tyson's basically saving your life, is doing this favor for you specifically, and it makes you want to kiss him the way Kirsten Dunst kissed Tobey Maguire in the first Spiderman movie - passionately, with just enough tongue that it makes all the stuffy and uptight people sitting around you more than mildly uncomfortable.
Because he didn't have to say yes, didn't have to be the absolute perfect fucking human he was and agree to pretend to be your boyfriend so you could show up at your ex's wedding and drive it home to the obnoxious fucker and his family that unfortunately were still very close with your own family that you were doing just fine, thanks.
And of course Tyson's perfect at it. Is nothing but adoring, doting, and attentive, keeping an arm around you, his hand in yours, staying pressed up against you as much as possible, never failing to press kisses to your cheek, your shoulder, your forehead, the back of your hand when he raised it to his lips before making you do a little twirl in front of him, showing off your dress.
He could give lectures on Boyfriend 101, teach a masterclass in how to be a gentleman. He was even impressing your sister, who knew it was a ruse, but kept her mouth shut because even she loved the way your ex's nostrils flared in anger every time he looked at you and saw Tyson plastered to your side, regardless of whether the dickbag ex was dancing with his new bride or not.
You could fucking kiss him for it all. You wanted to kiss him, so badly it fucking hurt. You wanted to kiss him for you, for him, didn't care who was watching or if this was supposed to be fake.
"You sure he's pretending?" Your sister murmurs lowly to you from your left, both of your eyes on Tyson as he sits to your right, chatting casually with your parents who are sitting to his right. "He seems like he's pretty much your boyfriend to me."
"Stop it," you chastise, hitting her on the knee. "He's just being nice. Besides, you would do it too if you were promised that someone else would do your laundry for you for the next three months."
Your sister snorts. "That's it? That's all it took to convince him?"
"Yeah, pretty much," you murmur, though you wouldn't admit to her that even with the promise, it still took you a couple of minutes of begging.
While you could've begged by sucking his cock, you weren't there (yet), you were just friends, and he accepted the laundry offer without much further thought.
For the rest of the night, Tyson had continued to be the perfect Prince Charming. It even had someone on the bride's side telling you "You're so lucky to have someone like him!"
Oh believe me sweetheart, I know, is what you had said back, but you meant it with everything in you.
When you finally left, you and Tyson dismissing yourselves from the ballroom and heading upstairs to your hotel room for the night, he still held your hand in his, swinging it between the two of you as he hummed one of the slow songs that had played earlier to himself.
He escorted you into the elevator with a hand on your back, and once the doors closed, you could feel your heart pounding so hard inside of your chest you were surprised the metal death trap didn't shake beneath you with its force.
You'd shared a room with Tyson before, even a bed. This would be nothing different. If you managed to keep your hands and lips to yourself, it would be nothing different.
"Why are you all the way over there?" Tyson muttered after he pressed the button for your floor, gesturing at you with his chin. He leaned against one wall and you on the other, and he frowned. "Come closer."
"You don't have to pretend anymore, it's just us." You say, walking over to him anyway.
"So I don't have to pretend like I haven't noticed you making eyes at me all night?" He says with a smirk, catching your arm and pulling you toward him.
Your heart skips inside of you and you brace yourself with a hand on his chest, looking at him skeptically. "What do you mean, Tys?"
"Oh don't play coy now sweetheart," he murmurs, bending his head towards you, brushing his nose against yours. "I know you want to kiss me."
You gasp a little when he leans in, his lips brushing over yours a little, a laugh leaving his lips. "Tys, I-"
"It's okay," he says. "It's okay. I've got you."
And then he's leaning in, sliding his lips over yours, and it feels so smooth, so good, so right, that you surge up, rising up on your toes and pressing your lips against his more firmly, cupping his jaw in your hands as his hands wind around your waist, settling just in the small of your back, palms pressing into you and gathering you closer against him.
Your hands move as he does, spinning you around and pressing you against the wall of the elevator so he can grind his body against you as your hands dive into his hair, nails scratching over his scalp in a way that has him groaning into your mouth.
Just as his hands descend to grab at the hem of your dress, the elevator dings, and though the noise is quiet, it's loud enough to snap you both back into reality and have you jumping apart, Tyson's lips leaving yours with a soft "pop."
When you both look toward the open doors, you laugh when you find absolutely no one at all standing there, and Tyson laughs too.
Since you are on your floor though, Tyson ushers you both out of the elevator, but before you can get very far, he's yanking you back to him, kissing you again, this time softer, chaste.
"Is it what you wanted?" He asks against your mouth.
You nod, pulling his bottom lip between your teeth and tugging a little, then releasing it, offering him a cheshire smile when his eyes narrow at you. "Everything and then some."
"Good," he murmurs, thumb running over your sides. "Now, how about we go back to the room and do it a little more?"
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First Lines of 10 Fics Game
rules: share the first lines of 10 of your most recent fanfics and then tag 10 people. If you have written less than 10 fics, don’t be shy and share anyways :)
This seems like fun. My AO3
5 times that Jake and Spencer didn’t get caught and one time they did. (On going)
The second Spencer stepped into the storage closet; Jake was on him like glue. “Seeing you like that up there giving that speech, fuck baby, you don't even know how sexy you are in this suit,” Jake said, as Spencer crowed him up against the wall.
“I think, fuck,” Jake groaned as Spencer latched onto his neck with his lips, “I think I have an idea,” Spencer said, as Jake was palming Spencer through his suit pants. “You going to let me take care of you sweetheart,” Spencer cooed, a contrast to the rough way he was shoving Jake’s pants down. “Yes, please, I’ve been half hard all day watching you in your suit,”
2. Betting (Finished)
“Come on Mav, tells us a joke.” Asked Payback, the alcohol clouding his judgment. “Ok” said Maverick. “I like my boys like I like my girls.” The group went silent waiting for the punch line of the joke. “That’s the joke guys. I'm bisexual.”
Jake stood up breaking the silence yelling “you fuckers owe me money!” The daggers dug in their pockets to grab their wallets. “Yeah, but you're my stepson soooo…. Does your bet really count?”
The table burst into noise.
3. To get you out my mind now baby (Ongoing)
He looked straight ahead, right at the dothomirian that sat on the throne. He stood with his brother and prime minister either side of him. Darth Maul lent forward in the throne to look closer at Obi-wan Kenboi, the man who had just tried to save his beloved Duchess and failed. Satine raise her head, from where she was forced to kneel at mauls feet, to look Obi-wan in the eyes.
"Your noble flaw is a weakness shared by you and your Duchess." Maul said as he raised his hand towards the celling. Obi-wan felt the guards hand as he tried to move forward towards Satine as Maul started to chock her with the force. Maul started walking closer towards Obi-wan bringing the Duchess along with him. "You should have chosen the dark side, Master Jedi. Your emotions betray you. Your fear. And. Yes. Your anger."
4. Your dad was the president?! (Ongoing)
Robert “Bob” Floyd also known as Robert Whitmore-Levisons is a weapons system officer in the United States Navy. Bob loved planes ever since he was 4 years old, and his dad took him up in one. He felt free flying around without worry from those around him and the press.
The press was a big part of Bob’s life since he was three and not by his choice. Bob’s dad was elected as President of the United States in 1996 the year the aliens invaded. Lucky Bob was in Wyoming with his grandma so wasn’t affected by the aliens. It wasn’t long after he had learnt that his mum and died and his family had shrunk to him, his dad and older sister. Bob loved his family to bits he always had, and it would never change. Even when his dad started dating his uncle David.
Bob was fine with his dad started dating his uncle, he felt that Constance was not good for David, but he definitely knew one day. It was July 4th, 2001, 5 years since the invasion and Bob was sat in the living room of the White House when his dad walked into the room.
5. Marry me (Ongoing)
Jake was exited. They were also nervous. Why? Today they are marrying the man they loved.
Bradley Bradshaw callsign Rooster.
They meet and started dating 8 years ago when they both started at the academy. At first it was banter that turned into flirting. Jake thought it was a joke until Bradley had asked him out on a date. Jake had said yes straight away. The people around them were thinking they hated each other when they started fighting about who was the better pilot. Really they where just working to get each other to become better.
6. A galaxy of colour and darkness (ongoing)
Jakku, the sand planet. Maker only knows Poe Dameron's hatred of sand, having grown up on the forest planet of Yavin IV sand always got in his clothes for weeks after. But here he sat in Lor San Tekka house in village of Tuanaul. Lor San Tekka handed Poe a memory drive with the map in it, before BB8 came rolling in. "What is it buddy?" The beeps in return were frantic. "I'm sorry Mr Tekka, the first order are here. I wish I could stay and help you -" "Do what is right young Dameron, but I advise you to take a look at the map first." Said Tekka in understanding.
7. Forget (Completed)
He looks up, The sky pitch black. The Stars have gone out, They left years ago.
He remembers them, Bright, beautiful, forgiving, foreign. Blond, gold and blue, Black against bone white.
‘The stars will go out, Before I forget you, Mark.’
The Stars have gone out, Mark is long dead. Kieran remembers him, How could he forget, The heart of his heart.
8. Wedding Season (completed)
When Jake was born his birth mum didn’t want him. As far as he knew his birth mum took one look at him a decided she didn’t want anything to do with him. He was left in the care of his dad. His dad who was there for everything in Jake’s life. His dad had expected a desk job within the Navy after Jake was born to be able to be closer to his son.
When Jake was 9 when Jake first asked about his birth mother to his dad. The response Jake got was “She didn’t want you. And I don’t understand why as you are the greatest child in the world.” It was in September that year that Jake found out his birth mum had been at work when she died. Jake and his dad weren’t invited to the funeral.
When Jake was 15 he released why his dad had never loved his birth mum and why by at this point didn’t have a wife.
9. The debriefing (completed)
Bradly first noticed the ring during the dogfight football session. He noticed it on Maverick's dog tags as he helped him off the ground. “I’m going to sit out” Yelled Maverick over to where Hondo was stood. Bradly looked over to where Mav was sat when Hangman went over and sat down at his feet. He couldn’t make out what the two were saying but he felt a pang of jealousy when Maverick ruffled Hangman's hair up causing the younger pilot to laugh and swat him away playfully. “Guys did you know Maverick was married?” Asked Pheonix after Payback pointed out the ring on his dog tags. Everyone around them shook their heads except from Coyote and Bob. “Well, I suggest a bet. We all place a beat on who Maverick is married too.
10. After the mission (Completed)
Jake looked upon the scene laying out in front of him. Everyone was crowding around Maverick and Rooster as they hugged, seamlessly forgetting about Jake all together. Just a few seconds before Pheonix had been telling Jake to be happy over having a confirmed kill.
This wasn’t the first time either.
Jake was 25 when he got his first confirmed air to air kill. It had started off as a normal day. Well as normal as it could get being positioned in Afghanistan. Jake had already had is daily phone call with his father and was currently on a normal patrol with his wingman and best friend Javy “Coyote” Machado. It was normal with Coyote a little ahead of him. Jake must have closed his eyes for only a minute. But in that moment an enemy F-17 was slotted in between.
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UNDER YOUR SKIN || JJK || Ch. 40
Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader
Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.
Summary: You were awful on anything related to flirting, guys and sex. He was the perfect ladies man. You wanted to get rid of your virginity. And he was there to help you with everything you needed. You didn't have the best start, but that didn't mean you wouldn't have the best of the endings.
<<Previous
MASTERLIST
One year later
I walk around with the dress in one hand, trying to find my panties somewhere in the living room -and constantly thinking that now I'll have to redo my makeup because somebody thought it'd be a good idea to have some fun before the wedding.
—Here! —Jungkook celebrates, raising my white panties and waving them in the air.
I sigh in relief, snatching the fabric away from his fingers as if he had just found my most precious thing. I run to the bathroom, closing myself in there, just to hear his voice from the other side.
—Why did you make that big fuss over those panties?
—I bought these especially for this dress —I say, while I start getting ready.
White is a good color to wear with any dress, thin fabric... It probably took me longer to find a proper underwear I'd be happy wearing than the dress itself. Yeah, I couldn't picture myself wearing one of my colorful cotton panties under it either. Finding those panties, after that quickie, was more a matter of pride and logic -after spending forty dollars on a whole set, just to wear the lower part of it.
—I can't believe you closed the door —he complains, and it's almost immediate the way I picture his pouty face as he says that.
—I know you too well —I finally open the door, when I'm done with my make up—. Help me with the dress —I turn on my feet, my exposed back facing him.
Jungkook traces my spine with the reverse of his finger, making my whole body squirm and forcing me to call him out -and me indirectly.
—We'll be late —I try to sound serious, but I end up giggling when I feel his lips on my neck—. And your parents will kill us if we don't make it on time.
Jungkook finally gives in, giving one final kiss on my shoulder to go and get the keys of his car. I still remember how much he insisted on not buying it three months ago. And thank god he finally gave in and decided to buy it, so he'd stop sharing the same car with Soo and Mark.
When we get there, I'm relieved to see we made it on time. A lot of people are waiting in the hall of the venue, I can even spot Tammy with her plus one -a man I haven't seen in my life, but I've probably heard of.
I feel him holding my hand, intertwining our fingers in a tight grip as we head inside completely. It doesn't take us too long to head where our group of friends are, as soon as we spot them. I know Jungkook can be easygoing in general, but he tends to have a bad time when he's surrounded by a lot of people he doesn't know. While I grew to get more used to it because of my job, and the several parties and events I had to attend to get to know extravagant artists, and even more extravagant customers.
—We really thought you wouldn't make it —Hobi mentions when we finally stand in front of them.
—We were just five minutes late —Jungkook replies, trying to minimize the fact that we could've missed the ceremony because we were too busy fucking.
—I expected it from Jaykay, but you Y/n, you're supposed to be the responsible one —Namjoon points it out to me.
—That's what I told him —I try to defend myself—. But he's stubborn as fuck.
—Wait, why is everyone attacking me now? —he looks at all of us.
I pinch his cheek when the rest of us just laugh it off. The conversation switches from us to the wedding almost right after. Soo and Mark were so excited for this party, and it's obvious they've put their hearts and efforts into it by the way everything has been treated with such delicacy and dedication.
During the ceremony, I catch Jungkook looking at his sister and Mark with a tiny smile and bright eyes. The same eyes that look down at me whenever he feels I'm looking at him, leading that lovely look with a kiss on my temple and a tight grip on my hand. And that same excitement only seems to grow bigger when both Soo and Mark read their vows. My eyes travel from the sweet couple to Jungkook, finding him trying to hold back his tears as much as he's able to. I pull him closer to me, making him bend over so I can hug him as he finally gives in and lets the teardrops run.
In this whole year of dating -especially after moving in together-, I found out his real nature. Not that I didn't know it before, but I got to know it in a deeper way. The more times I spent with him, the more contrast I found between his facade and his real self. And I'm in love with every tiny bit of him and that cute man that gets excited with the intro of his favorite show. With this man that simply loves life and enjoys the smallest things.
During the reception, we part ways several times. He stays at the table, although he sporadically joins us on the dance floor -either because I insist, he feels the song or his mom invites him for a dance.
It's probably around the sixth song I'm dancing to in a row with Tammy that I'm aware of how tired I am, and how bad I actually need a drink.
I support my body on my elbows resting on the counter, while I wait for the bartender to hand me the Mojito I asked for. My plan of sitting next to Jungkook for a few minutes gets interrupted by a male voice on my left. And I'm surprised to see that it's actually Seokwoo, greeting me with a wide smile before he asks for a drink as well.
—I didn't know you'd come —I say first.
—I couldn't miss Soo's big day —he answers, pointing at his cousin.
We chat for a few minutes. We ask each other how life has been going, since we haven't seen each other since that birthday party in Seneca, which he actually brings up at some point.
—I would've never thought you were dating Jungkook when we went on that trip —he casually mentions—. Although it makes sense, because you were hiding.
—Huh? —I frown— What do you mean?
—On that trip to Seneca, I asked Jungkook if you were dating someone. And he told me you two were dating, but nobody knew yet.
—He told you that? —I raise my eyebrow.
That little shit.
—Yeah, it's good to see you aren't hiding anymore —I nod, raising my glass to his statement.
Seokwoo chats with me a bit more, until he finally decides to go back to his girlfriend. And I do the same, stopping mid way because Jungkook is already walking in my direction with a twisted lip -because he's probably biting the inside of his cheek-, one hand in his pocket while the other takes the glass and puts it back on the counter so he can hold my hand.
Once we are on the dance floor again, both of his hands hold me by my waist to keep me close to his body, while my arms wrap around his neck, dancing to the ballad that the DJ is playing now.
—What did Seokwoo want?
—We were just chatting —I shrug—. It was good having a conversation with him without running away.
—Oh really? —he lifts both of his eyebrows.
—Really —I nod—. He told me he moved from Korea to Chicago and found a job quite fast —I start summing up what we talked about—. Oh, and I also learned we were dating back in the Seneca trip.
When I mention that, his rough expression slowly evolves to one of a little kid that has just been caught red handed, pressing his lips together as he tries to think of the next answer.
—Mind you explain how I was in a relationship without knowing?
—It was the morning after —he starts—. He started asking about you, and I don't know why I said you were my girlfriend.
I play with his hair, nodding to his explanation.
—You were jealous —I sing.
—I wasn't —he scoffs—. It just pissed me off how he had the audacity of trying to hook up with you when we were celebrating Mel's birthday. It's... —he stops when his eyes land on me, and he knows I'm not buying a single word he says— Okay, I was jealous —he finally accepts—. But I wasn't far fetched, look where we are now.
—Are you trying to say you predicted it?
—Hmm —Jungkook nods—. And if I were you, I'd be ready. Because I'm thinking of starting to tell everyone you're my wife.
I giggle at his comment, hiding my face on his neck as we keep dancing in tune with the song that's playing. And finding myself too into the idea of that possible future.
The rest of the party goes on with the same vibe. Jokes, laughs, lovey looks that slowly evolve into tired and sleepy gazes -begging for the party to end so we can go back home.
When we finally leave and get back home, we rush to change into some comfy clothes so we can lie on the couch. Appreciating and enjoying the fact that we are back home.
Jungkook leaves our room first, or at least I make sure of that so I can get his birthday gift out of my drawer and walk to him with them behind my back. He looks at me suspiciously, but he's either too tired or knows I'll show him what's up eventually.
A naughty smile draws on his face when I straddle him without saying a word -just wearing some shorts and one of his oversized t-shirts.
—I know your birthday is in a week, but I'm awful at hiding surprises.
I move my hands up in the air, showing him the plane tickets for Seoul. His eyes widen when he starts reading the flight information, and looks at me unbelieving of what I've done.
—Babe, you didn't have to do it —he hugs me tight—. I bet it was fucking expensive.
I peck his lips, smiling in his mouth. I'm just happy to see he liked my surprise.
—You've kept saying you wanted to go —I shrug—. So when Jin cleared one week in October from schedules, so I could have some off time, I booked the flight and the hotel.
—I seriously don't deserve you —he hugs me tight—. You have no idea how bad I love you, cocktease.
—I love you, too.
If a year ago someone had told me I'd be madly in love with the same person I made a deal with to end up giving him all of my first times, I would've thought that person was tripping. Where in the world would anything between us work? But I'm glad everything turned out this way, I'm glad I managed to meet such a beautiful person and be allowed to share these moments with him.
I'm glad that, just like those tattoos he made, he got under my skin so deep I won't be able -nor I want to- get rid of him and everything I feel.
Thank you all so much for all the support and love you've given to this work. I will forever be grateful for all the asks, comments and likes it's received (because it's genuinely been crazy, and I didn't think it'd get the amount of love and attention it got).
#fanfic#ff#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkookxreader#jk#bts#wattpad#kookie#smut#jungkook smut#tattoistjk#tattooau#Under Your Skin#armpirate
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is taylor hebert like. Fem hoaxe?
WELL. UHH. Listen you're not technically wrong on some grounds there are some very definite parallels but the idea of Taylor Hebert being a fem version of Hoaxe or vice versa shot us dead on the spot and made us wheeze for a solid few minutes.
They are, indeed, both bullied outcasts who gained bug control powers and then proceeded to become terrifying warlords. You can probably extend the comparison beyond that, but it becomes a bit harder to do so, seeing as they are Very Different People and Hoaxe can't really compare to Taylor's sheer level of war crimes.
Taylor is defined by this sort of... terrifying, utilitarian efficiency. Doing everything she can to strive towards a single goal. She is effective because she is creative - she levers the powers she has, as well as the powers she has surrounding her, with a level of ruthless effectiveness that results in a instances of things like "using brown recluse venom to necrotize a guy's dick" or "maggots to the eyes". She tends to lever every single resource available to her as effectively as possible to aim towards a goal, and she is good enough at that to lever people's powers more efficiently than they can do themselves. She is constantly comparing herself to others in a way that disparages herself, but when it comes down to it, she's a fucking terrifying force of nature whose particular brand of brutal creativity makes her a figure that would be really really bad to find yourself opposing in any way.
Hoaxe, by comparison, is... how do we say this? Kind of a loser. Don't get us wrong, Taylor is also kind of a loser, but that's just on a personal level. He deliberately seeks out an artifact to magnify his pre-existing fire powers and give him the ability to control wasps, and immediately uses it to act out the revenge fantasy of being in charge where everyone loves him. He favors large, flashy moves - he carries around an axe named Slayer and summons pillars of fire to beat up three bugs and wastes a lot of energy just... flailing around trying to look impressive, all while he runs the kingdom into the ground within only a handful of months of gaining it. He has to be the most impressive person in the room at all times, or he'll feel like he's a bullied janitor again, and it makes him make shit tactical decisions. This is the guy who invaded the Ant Kingdom twice and turned himself into a tree trying to grasp at everlasting power. He's a threat because of the overwhelming power that the Crown gives him, not because of any specific quality of his own.
Hoaxe operates off the sort of power fantasy that the vast majority of Isekai anime are built off of - having a single, powerful artefact that makes you suddenly The Best at something. Taylor, on the other hand, is something else entirely.
...we realize this focuses on combat effectiveness more than anything, but we got rolling and didn't really stop. Uhh, let's put this another way. If you swapped their places, Hoaxe would die as a minor villain within the week, and Taylor would probably wind up getting the Wasp Kingdom to a level of horrifying efficiency never before seen and conquering all of Bugaria and probably a good chunk of the North and East as well. She does effectively run a chunk of Brockton Bay in canon. After a disaster, even. And that went... well, not horribly, though we realize that's a low bar. She Got Shit Done. She did not reduce a perfectly functioning kingdom to rubble.
They are... very, very different people, both in methods and personality. Don't get us wrong, Taylor has her fair share of insecurity and weirdness about her, but she responds to that insecurity largely by just... silently seething and outdoing people, whereas Hoaxe is prone to throwing around fire and axes at the slightest hint of someone maybe outdoing him. It's like comparing a raccoon with a sword to a mountain lion. Yeah, one of them could probably deal more damage in a single blow with the Large Pointy Stick they have, but one of them is going to be far more efficient in mauling you within an inch of your life.
...you could probably still pass a gender-swapped Hoaxe off as being an alt-power Taylor if you wanted to insert him into Worm fic.
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Blame it on the storm
Summary: After blowing up the Death Star Nineteen-year-old Luke Skywalker is dealing with his new popularity as he became the target of his squad mates' advances. Tired of that situation he asks Din Djarin, a bounty hunter he has just met, to pretend they're in a relationship.
Pairing: Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker
Characters: Luke Skywalker, Din Djarin, Leia Organa, Han Solo.
Rating: Mature (+18)
Warnings: Harassment, Descriptions of anxiety episodes.
Tags: Canon Divergence (AU), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Post A New Hope (Star Wars), Mutual Pining, Fluff and Angst, Protective Din Djarin, Tumblr Prompts.
Chapters: 2/3
Navigation: <- Previous Chapter • Next Chapter ->
Excerpt:
He looked at his visor, and even though Luke respected Din's creed, deep inside he was dying to see the mandalorian's face.
"Are they still staring at us?" Luke asked under his breath, he waited, frowning, finally, Din nodded. "Then we should stay like this for a little while." He was trying to ignore the way those arms around him was making him feel.
Those butterflies. Luke swallowed hard, those stupid butterflies were there again.
Chapter 2: Butterflies
It was pretty obvious that the mandalorian had been to Tatooine in the past. But, how many times? What if they crossed paths before and Luke didn't remember him?
Impossible. He totally stand out among others. He thought frowning, he sighed staring at the wall, propping his elbow on the table and resting his chin on his hand, then his lips curled up into a goofy smile, remembering the sound of Din's voice when he asked him why he was leaving the night before.
"Force..." He said under his breath, shaking his head, chuckling.
"Why that dreamy expression, Luke?" Leia's words taking him out of his mind.
The blonde blinked.
"Anyway-" She said crossing her arms over her chest leaning back in the chair "Artoo needs some maintenance, I know you don't want other people getting their hands on him, so I'm just letting you know that the droid is waiting for you."
Luke nodded, lips pressed against each other.
The princess frowned tilting her head to the side "You're acting weird."
Luke stared at her sightly parting his lips, shifting uncomfortably in his chair "Didn't sleep well last night." He looked down.
Leia didn't say a word.
Although he didn't lie, he started to feel a little twitchy about Leia's silence "I'm fine, I promise." He added looking at her again but his eyes went immediately to the man entering the room. The blonde's eyes went wide and his eyebrows arched out of surprise.
Leia turned around to see what was catching his friend's attention, then she looked at Luke again offering him a knowing smile "The mandalorian?" She said in a low voice like sharing a secret.
"What are you talking about?" Luke said shaking his head laughing nervously.
"Is he hitting on you too? Like the rest of these nerf-herders?" She asked leaning forward over the table. Luke was still looking at Din shaking his head visibly annoyed "No? Because, let me tell you, he didn't tell me his name until yesterday, do you know why?" Luke looked at her again "Because of you, that little bastard, oh yes..." She nodded "He didn't give a flying fuck when I met him two weeks ago, I asked him 'What should I call you?' He said 'Mando', and then you showed up and he's all smitten and outgoing. Outgoing my ass."
Luke was rubbing his fingers against his temple, shifting his gaze between Leia and Din "Stop it, he's coming."
Leia drew in a sharp inhale and straightened up her back, she smiled looking up at the mandalorian when he came to a halt and he stood right beside their table "Good morning, Mando. Oh no, wait, you told me yesterday that I should call you Din. I'm so sorry, it's still new information to me." She grinned and Luke huffed, knowing that Leia was mocking him pretty hard.
"Good morning, Organa." He said, brushing three fingers over the table surface, Luke stared at his hand and bit back a sigh.
Luke was trying not to think about those fingers running up and down his neck. He swallowed hard, focusing on Leia's face. You're confused that's all, Luke thought nodding at himself. You don't need to have fantasies about the mandalorian. It's just your stupid imagination and your lack of experience in this kind of matter.
"Morning Luke." Din added staring down at the blonde.
"Huh? Oh, hi!" He answered avoiding his visor.
"Well, what can I do for you, Din?" Leia asked him still smiling.
"I came to join my boyfriend for breakfast."
Suddenly Luke was very conscious about the silence in the room, he looked around realizing all eye were on them. He tried to find Leia's gaze but the princess was focused on the mandalorian, she was gaping and Luke's heart jumped into his throat in a blink of an eye.
"Your... Boyfriend?" Leia managed to ask.
"Yes. Luke." Din said shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
And if Luke heard someone exclaiming "Fuck!" at the distance he couldn't process it at that moment. He stood up swiftly clasping Din's forearm, letting out a hysterical laugh "Yeah, we need to go, see you Leia." He jostled Din out of the room hardly noticing Solo was leaning against the wall, hands on his hips.
"Good job, mandalorian." Han said in a bantering tone.
Luke didn't stop until they were inside the hangar "Open the ramp, please." He said, eager.
"Your heart rate is out of the charts." The mandalorian observed.
Luke frowned loosening the grip around his arm "What?"
"And even through my tinted visor I can tell your cheeks are burning."
Luke babbled a little "How... How..."
"I'm scanning you. I'm sorry, you looked pretty bad and I needed to know." He bowed his head like if he was trying to apologize.
Luke sighed rubbing his hand across his forehead "Open the ramp, please." He pleaded again.
"Alright, Luke, but first, I need you to calm down." He bored into Luke's blue eyes, grabbing him by his arms.
Indeed, Luke was clearly hyperventilating and he came to the realization that this was getting a bit out of hand. Maybe the mandalorian was right, he was too young, inexperienced and he was being overdramatic, but he couldn't help it, the embarrassment was taking him over. He looked down at Din's hands curled around his upper arms, hoping they could soothe him, still it wasn't happening.
"Alright, I'm okay, you can open the ramp now." He nodded staring at the man's chest plate.
When they were inside the docking port Luke started walking from side to side, he shook his head staring at Din, still agitated "This was a terrible idea. I don't know what I was thinking. This is wrong, we should stop right now. I'm feeling weird, I don't like it." He took his hands to his hips looking down at the floor "I like to be around you, yes! But not like this, not like this. I shouldn't have asked you to pretend we're dating."
The mandalorian was standing in front of him, he looked calm "No, you never asked me that. I offered to pass for your boyfriend myself."
"No, you didn't offer-" Luke stopped at that realizing that, indeed, it was Din the one that came up with the idea before Luke could even speak. He grimaced and then his expression softened "Yes you did, and I'm being a pain in the ass, I'm sorry."
"Part of your charm." The mandalorian said sitting down on the floor.
Luke felt a weird sensation in the pit of his stomach at Din's words. He thought back to one specific afternoon. He was sitting at the kitchen table, his little legs dangling from chair, aunt Beru was chopping some vegetables when uncle Owen appeared and said something in her ear that little Luke couldn't hear from where he was. Then, uncle smiled at her and kissed her on the cheek. Little Luke covered his eyes laughing. When he finally decided to peek at them through his fingers, uncle Owen was already gone. Aunt Beru came close to Luke and she was still smiling, the kid asked her why she was so happy after a kiss from his uncle, she explained to him that when someone is in love, when that special person shows you affection you would experience something beautiful inside you. Luke wanted to know what was the thing someone in love would feel inside them, so he asked her again, aunt Beru sat down next to him pointing at his belly "It feels like fluttering butterflies inside your tummy." Little Luke was terrified, because how could butterflies get inside his stomach and why?
Maybe aunt Beru explained it quite well, if that was the case, Luke was in trouble because now he was getting a fluttery sensation in his stomach right there and then, only because the mandalorian complimented him. Alright, he was being sarcastic about Luke but still it sounded like he was complimenting him.
"Are you still on?" Din asked him looking up at his face.
Luke was unconsciously pressing his hand against his stomach trying to ignore the tickling he was feeling "Are you?" He retorted.
"I'm not the one having second thoughts here, if you are willing to keep on with this, I'm fine."
"And if I don't want to?" Although he still wanted to play along, Luke didn't know why but he wanted to see Din's reaction.
The mandalorian changed his position, Luke could see the way his shoulders tensed up "Then I'm fine too." He sighed "Look, if you're gonna react like you did out there they would know we're lying. So it's up to you."
Luke narrowed his eyes, thinking about the times his mates overstepped, making him feel like he was just a piece of meat, maybe this was a stupid idea but at least he could try. He sighed "No, I won't react like that next time, I can deal with this."
Those might have been some kind of magic words because the mandalorian rose to his feet in a heartbeat, standing inches apart from Luke "Good." He said and Luke took two steps back.
"There's a lot of work to do, I'll see you around." He said walking away, then he looked at the mandalorian over his shoulder "Boyfriend." He said under his breath in an effort to become familiar with the term. In the intimacy of Din's ship he was slowly opening himself to the mandalorian, it was just a matter of time he could do the same in front of Leia and the others. He just needed to work on it.
~
The little blue and silver droid was chirping excited as he slid behind Luke, the blonde chuckled rubbing the dirt and oil off his hands with a cloth "Yeah, you're like new, Artoo." Luke spent the last hours repairing the unit, but his mind swirled around the mandalorian and their arrangement. "Fuck, I need to act cool around him." He said to himself.
When he was passing by the Millennium Falcon he heard a whistle coming from there, he looked up and Han Solo was waving at him with his free and holding a wrench in the other hand "Psst! Luke, spotchka time, come over."
He entered Solo's ship finally walking in the main hold, his friend was already drinking from the bottle and then he poured the blue beverage in a glass "A toast?" He asked leaning forward as Luke sat down at the table.
"A toast?" Luke took the glass frowning at him.
"Yeah, since you finally grew some balls and convinced the mandalorian to be your fake boyfriend. Cheers!" He grinned at Luke.
"You're the only one that knows the truth so keep it between us." He said and then he was gulping down his spotchka.
"Slow down, kid, I don't wanna carry you to your room totally wasted." Luke shrugged. "Wait, you're telling me that annoying princess doesn't know it's fake? Oh, that explains your reaction earlier." Han chuckled.
"More." Luke said sliding the glass across the table.
"Alright, alright, but you should act smooth, you know?"
"What do you mean?" The blonde asked him.
"You should act like you're hot for the bounty hunter. You know what I'm talking about." He added staring into his eyes but Luke was frozen with a dull expression on his face. "You don't have a clue, do you?" The blonde shrugged making him sigh. "Ugh, kid... Alright, have you seen how couples act around each other?"
Luke nodded snorting "Of course, Han."
"Good. What do couples do?"
"They kiss." Luke replied nonchalantly.
Solo leaned back in the seat and huffed "This is not the case, kid, you can't kiss him. But, you can just casually touch him, like you mean it."
Luke pursed his lips staring down "I can do that." Actually he wasn't sure about it.
"Just, trust your gut, you'll be fine." His friend stated and Luke thought about the night before, when he nuzzled Din's neck effortlessly, like Han said, he just needed to follow his intuition.
~
The mandalorian looked around as he walked in the multi-purpose room, locking eyes with one of the men that harassed Luke the night before. Then he proceeded to sat down at a table. He was minding his own business when the same man approached him, sitting across from Din. He didn't make a move but behind his visor he was looking at his sides noticing that two other pilots joined the first one, the table was small, Din was resting his forearms on it, surrounded by them, waiting.
"So, he chose you, a mandalorian, a bounty hunter." The pilot at his left said tilting his chin up "How did you pull him?"
Din flexed his left hand instinctively, the man across from him made a clicking noise with his tongue, staring at his hand "He didn't pull him." He blurted. Their mates looked at him grinning. He leaned forward "Am I wrong, bounty hunter?" He laughed.
Although Din looked tense he didn't answer.
"What is it, man? Cat got your tongue?" He mockingly insisted, nodding with a crooked smile on his face.
"I'm listening." The mandalorian deadpanned.
"Oh, so, should I continue?" He narrowed his eyes like waiting for Din's reaction, but he only received silence "A man of few words. Do you think we're stupid? Huh?"
"I don't think about you. At all." The mandalorian said flatly.
"See, I don't buy it. You and blondie. He's not your sweetheart, you're just his hired gun, pretending you're together. Pretty lame." He arched his back to rest his feet on the table almost crushing Din's fingers under his heel. "This morning he looked so upset, you're not being good at your job, he almost lost his mind when you said that he was your boyfriend."
Din was flaring his nostrils behind his helmet.
"Yeah, champ, you disgust him." He looked Din up and down "And I can totally see why."
One of the pilots touched the man's leg "Hey, Brando, it's enough, you're stepping out of line here." He said under his breath.
"Why? I'm just having a friendly talk with my man here." He retorted.
Din withdrew his hands to cross his arms over his chest plate "So, Brando, is it?" The man nodded smiling. "Curious, I remember you were the one disgusting Luke yesterday, you said something about getting him on his knees." He pressed a button in his vambrace and the man, Brando, moved to put his feet on the floor again. "What would you say if I put you on your knees right now?" Din asked tilting his head.
At the same moment Luke and Han were walking into the room, Luke spotted Din's back immediately, realizing something bad was happening over that table.
Han sighed "Shit."
Luke started walking towards them and his friend grabbed his arm "Remember kid, like you mean it." He said nodding and lifting his eyebrows staring at Luke's face. The blonde nodded back, swallowing around the lump in his throat. He kept walking as his friend's words were reverberating inside his head.
Like you mean it. Like you mean it.
He took every step thinking about the times he and his friends were hanging out at Tosche Station, he closed his eyes remembering the way Loneozner and his girlfriend Camie acted around each other.
You've got this.
He heard Brando laughing but he could notice that the air could be cut by a knife. Brando looked up and over Din's helmet glancing at Luke's face "Oh, mandalorian, here's your boyfriend." He said with a sneer and then bursted into laughter.
Before Din could turn around Luke brushed his fingers across the nape of the mandalorian's neck, Brando's face dropped looking at them.
"Hi, love, did you miss me?" Luke leaned into Din smiling and then he pressed his forehead against his helmet, he could hear a soft groan coming from the mandalorian but he didn't pay attention to it since he was trying to save the day. He pulled back a little to stare at his visor with a soft smile that reached his bright eyes "Because I did miss you." Luke shifted his gaze pretending that he was surprised to see Brando and the other guys. "Bonding with my mates? Do you mind if I join you?" He asked stroking Din's pauldron.
"Ah-" Din cleared his throat "No, no, go ahead." He said and Luke was already sitting on Din's lap.
Inside, Luke was silently dying of embarrassment but he was making a point and as stubborn as he was, he wanted to succeed.
He blinked when he felt Din's gloved hands gingerly resting on his thighs, and his heart leapt in his chest as he hooked his arm around Din's neck. The three pilots were immediately standing up and leaving the table. Luke looked at them as his fingers were unconsciously drawing little circles on Din's neck until he reached the man's skin and he stopped, feeling the softness of him. Din moved his hands really slow and then he encircled Luke's waist with his arms, bringing the blonde closer to his chest.
He looked at his visor, and even though Luke respected Din's creed, deep inside he was dying to see the mandalorian's face.
"Are they still staring at us?" Luke asked under his breath, he waited, frowning, finally, Din nodded. "Then we should stay like this for a little while." He was trying to ignore the way those arms around him was making him feel.
Those butterflies. Luke swallowed hard, those stupid butterflies were there again.
Like you mean it.
The blonde hummed shifting a little in Din's lap and the mandalorian groaned again, this time Luke was very aware of the alluring sound the man in beskar let out. Trusting his gut, and especially the fluttering butterflies in his stomach, Luke rested his free hand on his chest plate, then boring into his black visor he started stroking the beskar, and he could feel the way Din's body tensed up beneath him.
"Is this okay?" He asked leaning towards him and almost brushing his lips against the helmet.
The mandalorian let out a weak "Yeah..." And Luke's heart skipped a beat.
"You should go to your ship. Take some food with you, I'm having dinner here and then I'll join you there." He suggested.
The mandalorian agreed taking his hands off him and he waited until Luke disentangled his arm from around his neck to stand up. When he walked to the door Han was still around casting glances at Luke from time to time.
Luke walked in Han's direction, passing by Brando's side and his pulse was pounding in his ears. The pilot looked away, avoiding him completely for the very first time in weeks and Luke felt like it was a little victory.
~
Two days passed and Luke was really astonished at the way things changed between him and his mates. Not only Brando, but all of them stopped approaching him. Still they couldn't help but glaring at the blonde from afar. Luke sighed relieved knowing that, at least, they wouldn't put a hand on him again. Then he started worrying about the mandalorian leaving and his stomach clenched at the mere thought of losing his company.
He kept returning to Din's ship every night, sleeping in the bunk while the mandalorian slept on the floor over some thick blankets and pillows that Luke brought from the base.
He woke up in the middle of the night and he sat at the edge of the bunk ducking his head since the space was too small, he was rubbing sleep from his eyes when he realized Din was peacefully sleeping. He chuckled when he heard the man snoring and he felt an irrepressible urge to lie next to him.
The snoring stopped and Luke flinched when the mandalorian moved his head to look at him.
"Can't sleep." Luke said as fast as he could trying to hide the fact that he was staring at Din while sleeping.
The mandalorian propped himself up on his elbows "Now I'm awake too." He said sitting up resting his back against the wall.
"I'm sorry." The blonde said in a soft voice. He looked around and then at Din again, finding that the visor was still on him, he pressed his lips together nervously, not knowing what to do "So, uh, they stopped. They must be really scared of you."
The mandalorian didn't say a word.
Realizing that Din might be offended by what he said, Luke tried to explain further "It's not only because you're a bounty hunter, but also a mandalorian above all things."
"Convenient." Din stated and Luke didn't realize until then that he was holding his breath.
"You really helped me." Luke said resting his head against the wall "I'm gonna miss you so much." He added staring at the ceiling and he didn't even regret being that sincere. "And not only because they are scared to death when you're around, I'm gonna miss this." He said gesturing with his hand between them "All of this."
Din hummed "Well, I'm glad they stopped harassing you, I understand what you were going through, I've been there."
Luke crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared at him frowning.
"You mean people used to harass you too?"
"Yes, when I was in the fighting corps they thought it was a good idea to pick on me cause I was different, I mean, the kids were used to jump from bed to bed and I was the only one not getting on it." Din shrugged.
"Why not?" Luke squeezed his eyes shut realizing he was being disrespectful.
Surprisingly Din explained it further "I wanted to be a warrior, my mind was set on that only purpose. They hated that. That's why this guy, Paz Vizsla, and the rest of my mates made a bet behind my back."
Luke nodded putting his feet on the floor and then he walked towards Din, finally sitting down next to him. Din reached out offering him a pillow, Luke took it, placing it over his crossed legs to rest his elbows on it, listening to Din with curious eyes.
"What was the bet about?" Luke asked.
"He bet his beskar'gam that he was going to be my first." Din looked down.
"Beskar'gam?"
"A complete mandalorian armour." Din replied.
"And-" Luke swallowed not sure if he should ask the next question.
"He kept his beskar'gam." Din said and Luke could hear some sadness in his voice.
Luke's eyes went round, he found Din's hand and squeezed it, still staring at his visor "I'm sorry, Din."
"It's okay, that was so long ago. And I was too young to understand what I was feeling." He cleared his throat "At least I didn't remove my helmet in the heat of the moment."
Luke frowned "Can I ask you something?" Din nodded "And please, if I'm pushing boundaries here, let me know." Din nodded again. Luke breathed in "When you're having- well, you know... How is it to be with someone with that helmet on, I mean, don't you just want to kiss your partner?" He asked and his cheeks were red as apples all of a sudden.
The mandalorian chuckled "We do kiss. But not with our lips."
Luke smiled amused "Not with the lips? What? Is there another way?" He laughed softly.
"Yes, we kiss pressing our foreheads together." Din said not breaking eye contact with him behind his visor.
Luke's smile started to fade away the second he remembered that he pressed his forehead against Din's two days earlier when he was sitting on his lap.
His face turned crimson "Oh, no." He mumbled and he leaned back instinctively putting some space between their bodies. Din held his hand tight like trying to keep him close.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know. If I knew it I wouldn't have done that." The blonde explained avoiding staring at him.
"I know." Din said squeezing his hand in a reassuring way.
Luke's hair was a mess and he looked sleepy "I should try to go back to sleep, have a long day tomorrow." He said standing up and letting Din's hand go.
"Alright." He heard the mandalorian said as he was climbing up to the bunk.
He kept tossing and turning for a while and kicking the blanket, sighing, feeling uneasy, still trying to process that he kissed the mandalorian without even noticing it and that he was now a couple of meters away from him.
What was Din thinking at that very moment?
Luke cracked one eye open to look at him on the floor.
An annoyed sigh coming from Din "Ah, Skywalker, are you going to do that the whole night?"
Luke lifted his head "Told you I couldn't sleep." He said in a whiny tone.
The mandalorian startled "I didn't know your voice could do that."
Luke's mouth set in a hard line, utterly offended by Din's words. "It's not my fault, you were right, your bunk isn't cozy."
"Listen, if you're going to be a pain in the ass you better come over here, there's plenty of room." Din retorted lifting the blanket.
Luke sat up slowly, considering Din's offer and, damn, how badly he wanted to share the bed with him. He blinked staring at Din and the man was still grabbing the blanket like he knew Luke needed a moment to process it.
When he put a foot on the floor he was still reticent but then the mandalorian let out a little sigh as he rolled over on the floor lying on his own side, and Luke couldn't refrain from complying with his demand anymore. He kneeled beside him and then he slipped under the blanket. He stared at Din's back keeping some distance between them.
Luke stayed lying on his back staring at the ceiling for a while resting his hands on his own chest thinking over and over how good it would feel to pass his arms around Din and he shook his head trying to push that thought away, I'm not a creep, I'm not a creep.
"Din?"
"Hmm?"
"Nothing." He said and then his mouth twitched.
"What's wrong?" Din asked still lying on his side.
"I said nothing." They stayed silent for a while "It's just, I want to hold you." Luke's mouth went dry not knowing where that boldness was coming from.
"Then hold me." Din effortlessly said.
"You mean it?" The blonde asked propping himself up on his elbows.
"Don't make me regret it." Din added reaching a hand behind himself to grab Luke's, the blonde's heart gave an extra beat when he finally hugged him from behind, resting his hand on Din's chest plate and burying his nose in the mandalorian's neck. Din put his hand atop Luke's an intertwined their fingers.
The mandalorian waited until Luke's breath evened out to mutter "Goodnight, cyar'ika." And although Luke was half asleep he answered by reflex.
"Goodnight, Din."
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What tropes do you like writing best? What fic are you most proud of that you’ve written? What is one piece of advice you would give about writing?
Wow, what great questions @eoangstlover56, thank you.
What tropes do I like writing best?
Hmm, good question. I do like alliteration. A bit of antanaclasis. Similes are always good. Synesthesia and Tautology often pop up in my writing as well.
I do get the feeling that you're asking more about thematic tropes, though... and in that sense...
I tend to enjoy writing the angst. One major theme that has run across my writing is recovery from trauma, specifically (if you are familiar with the Veronica Mars fandom) recovery from rape. But honestly, any trauma will do.
It flows through most of my writing, even those that do not specifically focus on the trauma itself, there is always hints of it, references... more specifically acknowledgement of said trauma in the actions of my characters and how it has shaped them.
You're probably more familiar with my SVU fics, so you wouldn't have seen any other type of fic from me. But even in my smut fics or humour fics, I at least give a nod to what has formed a character.
What fic am I most proud of writing?
Gah. Make me choose between my children, why don't you?
It can't be done!
There are a few that will remain especially dear, for many reasons.
Wicked Game is the most recent, and this is because it was the first time I had written in years. A rather lengthy bout of depression and withdrawal from online space. This was definitely a dip in the pool to see if I could still do it. And it GREW. It became something solid and meaningful. I was honestly sure barely anyone would see and/or like it. Because i was coming in as an unknown to a fairly well established fandom. With what could easily have been a bad and/or unpopular idea. I really like how it turned out, how it circled back on some themes.
Molasses and Taffy from the VM fandom, what started out (and you can see it very clearly) as a very quick post episode short fic... turned into this massive epic that completely blew apart a bunch of emotional themes that should have absolutely been explored in the show, but were not. Something that bridges us from the devastation of the rooftop at the end of Season Two, to the happy twirling in the hallway. Delving deep into the actual trauma and facing it by writing several devastated teenagers stuck in a room with a really unwise amount of alcohol. And LETTING THE SHIT HIT THE FAN.
It was awesome.
The ever controversial Paint It Black. from Once Upon a Time.. this fic will remain high on my list of faves, for being there at a state when I really began to embrace my sexuality (despte the hatred I got for it) and play in the f/f sandbox. Plus, (and let's all be surprised here), DARK. Again, a fic that started off with a very bad idea, that while exploring the darkness in the bad idea... really began to examine the characters and what made them who they are and how they react to stress. Take one (almost?) Evil Queen and have her take the hero (ish?) as an unwilling slave? But then let's get those stubborn people who like to ignore their feelings to actually be forced to face up to them and what it means about them and how their pasts have shaped who they are.
Whether or not people like these fics, that's up to them. These are fics that *I* like.
One piece of advice I would give about writing?
To actually do it.
It sounds simple and obvious, but it's true. You cannot know what will come out until you just start writing. The pictures are very pretty in your head and the story complete, but it's not doing anyone any good if you don't share it.
Also, as shown in the three fics mentioned above, but also in a lot of my fics... it starts out as an idea, maybe even one scene or theme that you want to explore and the writing makes you consider so many different aspects... just... really get in there and look at it from all angles.
So start writing, keep writing, write it bad, write it cringe, but write it. Read over it. Change a few things. Leave it. Come back to it. Get those thoughts out. Shine them up. Let your brain run free.
And things will begin to take shape.
#eoangstlover56#look ma i got an ask#wow jacqui you really cannot answer anything with just a few words can you?#over explanations
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