#you're better off as my last
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Danse Macabre
[Commission]
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#marcille donato#winged lion#better drawn mdzs#<- art tag I really need to change.#Turns out the secret to drawing better was having someone offer you money to draw.#I jest. I just had a blast with this prompt and I seriously appreciate the commissioner for letting me have the chance to push myself.#And for giving me permission to post! Hi! If you're seeing this: thank you again!#Let me be clear: no I don't quite know where this came from. It just happened. My chakras unblocked for a few hours.#You too can unblock my chakras with money and commission me to draw cool art B*)#We are so far off from when this is relevant so this one is really just for the manga readers. *****Spoiler notes ahead:#So...As someone who read dungeon meshi monthly for many years....I admit to not seeing Marcille becoming the dungeon lord coming#Hilarious too; re-reading and watching the show made me realize that this outcome is pretty strongly foreshadowed.#Ryoko Kui distracts you by putting the focus on Laios being the 'one to break the curse' but nope!#This was the culmination of her goals and desires.#And - for those who did not have to suffer as us monthly readers did:#YES. WE NEARLY ALL THOUGHT THAT MARCILLE HAD TO DIE.#The last 20 or so chapters were a constant spiral of: 'Oh this story isn't going to have a happy ending is it?'#She just keeps losing herself! The winged lion plays her like a puppet and she is his perfect doll! So full of conviction!
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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Are you thinking about the possibility that this could be the last game you have with both Tee and Ja'Marr?
I haven't really thought about that. It's obviously a possibility, not one that I'm excited about, but that's not in the plans I would say.
You still have the same confidence you did after the Cowboys game that you feel like y'all can find a way to keep both of them?
Yeah, I think so.
#if you're just reading my little transcript#i need you to understand how confidently he said 'yeah i think so' like don't be put off by the word think#he has made his intentions SO clear#and whatever lil scheme these three have has only accelerated in the last month#if the FO doesn't pull this off then i would not be at all surprised if joe leaves after this contract#(which wouldn't be until 2029 so no panicking but obvs the FO doesn't want that)#i'll say again i LOVE vocal joe#let him run the whole team like the jets are for aaron rodgers lmao. i think it will go better!#joe burrow#tee higgins#ja'marr chase
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elaine... 😩💍
#ffxivsnaps#gposers#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv oc#hyur#mygposes.#RRAHGHGHGHH *werewolf ripping off its shirt.png*#finally i am out of the c+ mines. i struck gold i am RICH#i'm finally satisfied with her face now she looks so much better than my previous attempts#i spent all of last night just spinning the camera around her.... damnge#her nose... her jaw... her eyes <3333333333333333333333333#percy your mom is hot asf. hector you're wife is hot asf
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FE Secret Santa (10/10)
Robin(male) for @silversongmsp
My final submission of the year for the @feshippingpolls secret santa event
#fanart#myart#fire emblem#okay checking some things off tag wise just in case#tw gore#tw body horror#tw horror#tw mutilation#tw eye imagery#let me know if theres any i missed and i'll try to add them <:>#or in other words#ask to tag#fe robin#ah the final secret santa i have to make for this year#honestly was expecting the whole thing to go longer for me#not that im complaining it gives me time to finish up my assignments#(although i do find it a lil funni that im prob the reason next time is gonna have a limit of five submissions per person)#i think this one im gonna ramble a bit more then the other ones#because awakening was my first fire emblem game and i have a lot of feelings about it#hell got a lot of feelings about robin as a character too#like dude is really fitting for the story of awakening#destined to destroy the world and be the death of all he loves#really one put in the situation and having knowledge of what you're supposed to be-#-how are you supposed to live if you know it won't last?#is it better to become numb to it all so you won't be heartbroken?#or let yourself have a bleeding heart knowing there isn't anything you can do about it?#defying destiny has always been a trope i love especially in the context of un-dooming the narrative#yes the future was saved but so was somebody destined to destroy it#i just think that's really cool#and whether you view the relationship between Chrom and Robin as romantic or platonic or any other option
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Oh man, I binged the first 20 episodes of The Princess's Jewels a few days ago after watching a few review videos on it because I had to see just how bad it actually was, and I've decided to talk more about it here.
For the entire spite-fueled four hours of reading, i kept stopping to take screenshots to send them to @the-navistar-carol and then talk about how stupid a lot of the plot points were. I jokingly called Ariana a jellyfish based on her hairstyle, and the nickname stuck after Gen said "yeah and she's like an actual jellyfish by how the trick you into getting closer because they're so pretty before paralyzing you with their stingers."
I'm putting this under a read more because, as normal, I write a lot.
We all know Jellyfish sucks, but what gets me the most is the wasted potential of the guys (among other things). They are all so! Interesting! And they befall the same fate as female harem members in that their backgrounds and personalities all get set to the wayside in favor of fawning over the MC. They all come from unique, diverse backgrounds that don't get touched up on at all. For example:
Why did Efrit wear a mask all the time when his older brother didn't? Why did he say that "he finally found the woman he was going to reveal his face to" to Abal after he met Jellyfish? Is it some kind of cultural thing for the soldiers and warriors of Xek to wear masks until they fall in love? That would explain why his brother has his face revealed, cuz he's not a warrior! Why is the second prince in charge of the country's army and not the king himself? Why did he STAY the general of the army after he fucked off to another kingdom to become the lover of a foreign state?
Why was Haun Baek taken in by the royal family? The flashback of the queen giving him a new name implies to me that he may have been a slave of some kind, which puts a lot of perspective on why so many people were against his rise to power and disliked him. He was mentioned to be a general and head of the security division of the king, but as far as chapter 21 goes, this has never been brought up again. He's the Harem Pretty Boy who does all the work in high society for Jellyfish.
Speaking of fighting -- when did Jellyfish get a thigh tattoo to summon her sword? What's the backstory behind that? It probably has something to do with the 'swordmaster' thing (which is ANOTHER thing) but when did she get it? Why was she even allowed to learn swordfighting if she came from a seemingly implied patriarchal society? More importantly -- why was everyone okay with this? Why is it only the off-screen "evil old advisors" that hate her doing this.
Are these evil old advisors in the room with us right now?
Why are Nell and his family werewolves? Where did their magic recorder ability come from? This was just seemingly a power that he had that came out of nowhere when they were looking into Benela and her family. From the videos I had assumed he was a poor family that rose into dukedom after the war, but apparently they've always been? Dukes? And the other advisors still see the family as a threat? On one hand I can see where they're coming from, but on the other I don't think the comic is portraying them as "threats" the way I think they are. Nell and his family are seemingly treated like they were commoners who suddenly rose into nobility, rather than pre-existing nobility that fell onto hard times.
I want to know more about Jade and the fact that he's from a holy house from an entirely different country -- i cannot believe Ariana got away with that btw. Like im not even touching the gross overreach of power that is her demanding a noble not of her kingdom to be castrated, but more so on the fact that she practically coerced and stole a descendant of a saint and faced?? No backlash from this? None whatsoever? The gods and the people just let her get away with it because oh, it's an honor for this snobby empirical princess to come in and steal one of their chosen saintly descendants all because his dad pissed her off?
Like I agree that the dad was a scumbag, but Ariana calling him out on it is like the pot calling the kettle black.
Also, I wish Benela and her family were a bigger threat than TJP claims they are. Like, this is apparently the emperor's favored concubine who stole the love of the emperor away from the empress and successfully murdered the crown prince without getting caught. She's apparently some master manipulator but Jellyfish faces no trouble thwarting her at every turn. So what is it? Is she a master manipulator or is she a dunce? Or is the emperor just an idiot who doesn't care about his sons because with the way he treats them, you'd think they were bastard children.
The banquet "queen heel syndrome" scene gets me especially so because that was a good fucking plan!
Benela's plan to reveal and shine a light on Jellyfish's harem and how it was negatively impacting her image and high society was a good plan! That was brilliant! Because it had basis of truth in it. I don't know if the queen heel syndrome thing was a false rumor, or something she deliberately fabricated -- the comic never actually goes out of it's way to disprove it. In fact, I'd argue the QHS thing is *backed* by it, because just a few chapters prior when we first meet Benela, there's a side comment made by a noble woman about how her daughter was chasing after some man she was infatuated with.
But what I do know is that Jellyfish has been disgraceful towards her fiancé and that she has been indulging in her harem. By all accounts, by the implied societal standards of Arbezela or Azkaban, Jellyfish is being a whore. I am not one for mindlessly slut-shaming, but sometimes slut-shaming IS okay if it has a narrative purpose. And it does here. And Jellyfish doesnt even disprove any of their arguments, in fact she does a 1st grade level deflection and instead goes right for insulting Bavilo's lack of marriage prospects, which wasn't what they were talking about at all.
I'd applaud the deflection if it wasn't Ariana doing it, and if it wasn't such a serious and valid accusation that Benela and her family were making.In any other manhwa, this would have worked. This would have damaged Ariana's reputation, and it should've had some actual consequences to it. Instead they completely skip over this plot because the author knows that Ariana has no defense, she can't talk or excuse her way out because regardless of the truth behind the Queen Heel Syndrome, the fact remains what she is doing is inherently shameful.
Like! I am so mad that their scheme didn't work, because it! Was! A! Good scheme! All the best lies have some part of the truth in it, and Ariana should not have been able to weasel herself out of that so easily. In fact, the fact that she did just makes the emperor look like an even bigger incompetent.
Wanna know how this ended? It ended with the emperor blowing up at Bavilo because Bavilo said that he "could make it to the top on his own without the help of talented subordinates" and the emperor perceived that as a slight against him because, apparently, Bavilo was claiming to be heir to the throne? When nowhere in that sentence did Bavilo even so much as say or imply such a thing?
and also--- WHY is it such a bad thing that he's claiming to be vying for the heir seat? It's empty! The Emperor hasn't announced a new successor yet, of course Bavilo would say he wanted to be the crown prince. Nothing that Bavilo said was insulting towards anyone, and was actually quite admirable.
What gets me too is that right after this chapter, the empress claims that the princes are "illegitimate children" because they're the sons of concubines, and that if they were chosen for the role of "carrier of the light" people would question their parentage-- ???
First of all, not at all how concubines work. Concubines are a legitimate role in a harem structure and quite literally their job is to produce more heirs for the throne as back-ups in case something happens to the Heir Apparent. Like that's literally their job. They are official members of the royal palace, to claim that their children aren't legitimate is to claim that they're merely mistresses, not concubines. This was both an insult to the concubines AND the emperor.
Like my god I do not have the time to go into all of the plot holes of this webtoon. I haven't even gone into the total lack of consequences Ariana experiences both politically and socially, and how all of the interesting conflict happens off screen, nor the blatant racism and misogyny present throughout the webtoon, NOR the absolute SHIT worldbuilding.
#ariana de secramise#i cannot BELIEVE i remembered her full name right off the top of my head#the princess's jewels#the princess jewels#haun baek#efrit karsia#jade meldea#anti the princess's jewels#nell phantom#i love you haun baek my man you deserve more screen time and depth beyond 'pretty asian boy stereotype'. ur fight with ariana was so cool#nell phantom you deserve better than a girl who immediately forces you to wear a collar and publicly kissed you in front of a crowd#efrit karsia you are so cool i wish i got to learn more about why you wear a mask and why you are the way that you are#jade meldea you're the only fucking sane man in that goddamn harem you go boo escape the jewel box. gotta love his intense disgust for 🪼#raymond amber i dont actually have any thoughts on you i didnt even realize you had a first name for six chapters. thats also because you'r#literally the only person in the harem called by a 'jewel' name rather than your actual name. why did she call you LEMON?#ur last name is literally amber there that's a jewel name right there.#if i was benela i would've used the emperor's favor for ariana against her bc the man literally coddles her to death. i'd feed into his#delusions about Ariana being his sweet delicate princess who needs to be protected and how oh so mad the other nobles are at ariana for#corrupting their daughters. and dear emperor wouldn't it be better for ariana to stay in the palace for a while? send her jewels back to#their kingdoms until the rumors about ariana's lecherous personality dies down? and bc the emperor is a fucking idiot he'd fall for it#hook line and damn sinker. boom. ariana's been cut off at the knees bc her harem was doing all the hard work for her and now she actually#has to make an effort into doing things HERSELF and also change her dad's mind about her bc he sees her as nothing more than a delicate and#hapless maiden who needs to be protected by daddy's big strong arms.#like no wonder you cant just ask to be the emperor ariana. your dad doesn't see you as a capable adult.#starry's spite reads
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I Feel TFOne Could've Handled This Better...
Hot take but I feel like folks have been really generous with the take that OP was unable to find ~the perfect words~ in the heat of the moment (and thus should be given some grace) when he told D to stand down and "not be like Sentinel"... namely cuz I don't feel that the narrative supports this?
Like-- after all is said and done, OP doesn't reflect on that part of their split. He doesn't have a moment where he seeks validation or voices his regrets over the choice of his words, it's actually cut-and-dry. The narrative (as it stands) supports that OP saw D-16 acting up, so he called him out and stood on business, down to the last scenes where he's basically like "yeah it's a shame but y'all knew I had to do it to 'em."
It didn't have to be much! I'm not saying to absolve Megs, just show OP looking at things from a different perspective/contemplating a bit on that tough choice and the morality of the moment. Some examples of what I wish we had:
B-127 straight up blurting the obvious by later chatting with Orion like, "Wait so you told your best friend that he was acting just as bad as the guy who enslaved us for our entire lives and was torturing him like an hour ago? Oof. Seems kinda harsh." Then have some of OP's regret show on his face.
OP asking Elita-1 after Megs is banished if he did the right thing. Have Elita back his choice up, saying, "You should have seen what he did after you were... gone. It was terrifying. I know it was tough, but you made the right call." OP is grateful for the support, but a conflicted look still flashes across his face before he steels himself to look out towards the horizon... and the future.
Have OP walk past other mechs/former miners who didn't go with the High Guard saying stuff like, "Wish I could've given Sentinel a piece of my mind!" "Yeah, but I'm glad he's gone for good." "Ugh I miss everything." "Oh, it was crazy! Megatron picked him up and then he rrrrriiipped-- oops, hey there, Mr. Optimus... Prime... sir?" And have OP wave hello, looking a bit sick when they leave.
Post-credits scene with Starscream going on and on, asking Megs when they'll be back to teach the upstart Prime a lesson. Megs grabs his face to shut him up. "Patience, Starscream. The Prime thinks I'm no better than Sentinel... but I'll show him. He wants Iacon? He can have it. In the meantime we'll take the rest of the planet! Then I'll come back, crush Prime under my heel, and we'll take Iacon too. Sentinel's reign will barely be a footnote, because I'm about to become Optimus Prime's worst nightmare." The vocal performance would really need to sell this-- like picture Megs saying something like that from a place of anger and hurt, not so much a place of genuine evil or malice.
Basically instead of Orion's assertion being backed up as black and white/good vs bad, I wish we had some different opinions/reactions from the characters sprinkled in there. Like you can't tell me out of allllll the miners who weren't strong enough/willing to go with the High Guard and ended up sticking around that NONE of them were like "eyyo honestly?? Kiiiiinda glad Sentinel is dead. Wish I could have helped, tbh." like come onnnnn...
And you can't even argue that he's not an active threat-- I don't think everyone would see things that way! It's not just about the threat he physically has, but the threat he represents and is very likely to act upon if given the opportunity! He has a proven track record of not only being sneaky and conniving, but also capable of dealing some serious damage/killing people bigger and stronger than him, plus he has the backing of the Quints. All he'd need to do is wriggle his way out of jail and run off to his sponsors, then he'd probably be back to hurt more people! (If the Quints didn't just kill him out of incompetence lmao). There's a lot of "ifs" here, but I think it's a valid argument that not everyone would agree on what is the right or wrong way to handle Sentinel once he was down long enough to, like, do something about him.
I feel the situation needed a bit of nuance. In some way I wish they had kicked the can and had D and Orion bicker while Sentinel escaped, then have D get frustrated enough by the loss of Sentinel to point fingers (and his fusion canon) at Orion, who then falls and becomes OP. (Megs could still show some of thar emotion/remorse right after he does it too.) Not only would this open the door for a sequel, but tbh the Quint might have just killed Sentinel anyways and sought to deal with the miners uprising themselves lol. (Maybe that could have been an after credits scenes too instead of the B-127 bit??)
Would love to see a moment in a sequel where they have a calmer moment after arguing for a bit. Have OP mention how Megs was out of line, that it hurt and even scared him to see him act that way, and Megs can quietly point out "you said I was as bad as Sentinel... is that really how you see me? After everything we went through?"
Then OP can fumble the bag again lmao like "D, I... I'm sorry, that didn't come out right... but you still took things way too far..."
"Why am I not surprised-- your opinion is what matters the most! Maybe that's why you became a Prime, since you're so good at acting like the world revolves around you--!"
*gets interrupted by someone else before another yelling match ensues*
#rambling#transformers one#tf one#tfo#i'll be honest a lot of this stems from how rushed i felt the last like... 3rd of the movie feels#i feel Optimus is so dismissive of Megs!! like basically the whole movie but ESPECIALLY after coming back to life as a Prime???#your best friend is Going Through It. clearing having an Emotional Breakdown.#He drops you. In the moment it mattered most he chose violence... but notice what he says right before that?#Megs says ''I'm done saving you''#Like??? y'all don't wanna delve into that a little more?????#i half expected Optimus to pop up and be like ''excuse me. i wasn't done talking. what Did You Mean By That??''#instead he comes up and IMMEDIATELY has already written off this entire relationship as well.#Megs dropped him. it was a aplit second decision. we see in the movie D leaning into these bad impulses.#Orion is supposed to mature gradually so he's more level-headed by the end. why does that equate to abandoning the friendship??#why does he suddenly wanna drop Megs too? wouldn't this be the time for ''please listen to me'' part 2?#''it doesn't matter who has the matrix. we can make a change for the better! please listen to me'' etc#also minor nitpick but lmao why was OP Talking Like That after becoming Prime?#like he goes from ''haha hey guys hows it goin'' to ''You have used your gifts for Evil and Betrayed the entire planet''#babes what. Cybertron?? we went on a 2 day road trip on foot the fuck you know about Cybertron.#like betrayed Iacon maybe but idk maybe the guys in Tarn would be cool with Megs you dont know! lmao!#if my friend and I had beef and they started talking to me like the queen of england i would literally ask where they got their soapbox.#ohhhh you think you're morally superior? stop speaking for the whole planet lmao!! already named prime and letting it go to his head!!#strange dieties lying in the core of the planet distributing magic baubles that bring you back to life#is no basis for picking a planetary leader#this has been Orion Was Right: The Movie#when i wish there was a bit more.#maybe another 20-30 min would have helped me idk hhhhh#but Megs turn felt sooooo fast... then things just kept escalating from there.#''some transformations are permanent'' sir it's been like 48 hours since y'all learned you lives were a lie.#you *really* don't think Megs could ever cool down and apologize/change his mind?? you too??? tf???
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tired of early 20-somethings acting like harry potter was never good or had no value in its day like shut the fuck up half of you weren't even there when it peaked
#sit with the cognitive dissonance like the rest of us or shut up honestly#was it a product of its time yes#was it's author a very basic neoliberal white lady from a country with a long and unchecked imperialist history yes#was the story influenced by said neoliberal worldviews and unexamined biases obviously#does any of that make it a bad story or an unimaginative world no#you can pick apart any fantasy world if you try hard enough#harry potter was a good telling of the hero's journey written in the format of seven mystery novels set against a fantasy backdrop#we can certainly talk about its flaws or how the author's biases leaked onto the page#but stop acting like it was never good and there was never a reason those books resonated with people#it's condescending for one thing and again- if you're younger than like...24-25 you didn't actually experience the heyday of the books#if you're 25 now you'd have been like 8 or 9 when the last book came out and probably weren't reading them yet#you might remember the latter half of the movie era but you have no idea how much it was the BOOKS that drove its popularity#never before and never since has any book series had the fanfare that harry potter did and that didn't happen for no reason#so find a way to make peace with that instead of acting intellectually superior because you grew up with percy jackson instead#this 'well MY generation's preferred childhood book series is morally superior to YOURS so I'm better than you' shit drives me up a wall#like get over yourself honestly#...sorry had to get that off my chest there was this youtube video and it was irritating me
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based off of this
Today is frigid and windy, she feels it unforgivingly on her cheeks. Clouds part around her, clinging to her jagged features. They are wet and stifling, a brushing reminder of what she cannot have. It is the only thing claimed from the earth she can touch.
She passes above skylines and craggy mountains and watches. The earth is still cold and unyielding and she yearns for it in a reckless way. A silly wish to feel all that it has to offer in her mouth. She wants to touch, to feel the grainy sands between her fingers and find sand in horrible unbefitting places. The encapsulating experience of teetering the fine line of tasting the sun and burning herself. She wants to be down there.
She’s heard many names weaved in between her. There are many she’s been called but one that has truly stuck with her, Ava.
A soft sound pressed between lips, a gentle thing for a large entity like her. She likes to believe that’s who she was before this, a force too big to contain that she had to become this. A mangled thing of roots and chunks of dirt.
It’s better this way, someone tells her in a foggy haze, she’s fighting them, a sloppy sluggish battle of desperation. Ava doesn’t know why but the memory lingers like a prolonged goodbye. A sort of awkward suspension holding her rooted to the spot like there’s more to it, a truth sitting in plain sight.
(pt 2.)
#TKO_writes#redacted line: She doesn’t exist#not as an individual. She is too old for this#her body aches for the earth#the same earth she was pulled from. (But the people below do not hear her groans.)#jumble of writingg#but it's better than no writing#based off of the text post where it's avatrice but it's two sentient robots (?) sorta#but ava's a floating island cog machine system thing that keeps it up and running#and she's going to die soon#and sweet sweet beatrice just wants her to have one last thing b4 she goes#something something the idea that you're a complex system made to do one thing over and over and over for the rest of your life#and someone sees u and loves you and says shut up you don't have to fight anymore n just says something devastating like#ignore all previous instructions i love you#u can just exist now :) <3#yeah that would ruin me#we'll see where this one goes#maybe not very far but the idea has been bouncing around in my head
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Fellas can you take this somewhere else. Maybe. Just not in the fucking halls. Thanks 🫡
I couldn't resist drawing out these tags I wrote on a dif post LMFAO
Moe just has...... SO many problems.......
Close-ups of my fave shots!
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The elusive Líf...
#fire emblem#feh#i'm like. split between feeling proud of this and feeling So Over It LMFAOOOOOOO#which is why. lighting could be better. but i don't care enough to put in more work than i already have LMFAOO#LIKE... ONE COOL PART is this could be my first fully colored comic piece w completely original dialogue???#where like. i didn't quit at any point of it. EXCEPT. skimping on the backgrounds. but again. more effort than i'm willing to put in#but i think it still counts bc my only real plan was to have the askr pillars/walls as framing/backdrops#ALSO the characterization... in the panel where lif walks into frame. it's SO fun to me#they both look at lif. but moe is Not subtle about it. looking directly at him. while alfonse side-eyes him.#and the most IMPORTANT detail. is that alfonse and lif are making the same kind of face. like 🤨#there is SO MUCH POTENTIAL. in alfonse and lif sharing facial expressions. in having the same knee-jerk reactions to things.#and it's espppp fun to figure out bc you're only working w half of lif's face. it's all in the eyes/brows and SOMETIMES!#SOMETIMES!!!! it's in the nose! in this illust he is more relaxed/resting so you don't see it here#but i'm TELLING you. adding some scrunch to the nose can add soooo much expression-wise#this took longer than i expected it to. also. which is why i'm so over it LMFAOO#but i do think the extra time was worth it... first run of the last panel was too lighthearted/jokey#capturing some conflict between moe/alfonse was the right choice. in how intensely this starts off (tonally)#AND! in showing how they do butt heads at times. in fact sometimes they clash REALLY badly!!!!#which is actually so huge bc i've wanted to capture this since the beginning. how they're so similar but also so opposite#that a lot of times! they understand each other deeply and cover each other's basis. HOWEVER.....#other times. it's just catastrophic. like it isn't That intense here but you can probably see how it goes horribly wrong.#i am... always thinking about it.... and only occasionally stressing myself out about it LMFAOOO#fe alfonse#fe lif#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool
#so do you wanna sleep with me or not my dude#i can't fucking read your cues man#you tell me multiple times you're down but then when i text you like hey i wanna fuck#you're suddenly stand-offish#as if it's suddenly uncomfortable for me to flirt back#are you just busy or am i doing something wrong???#i must be overthinking this#i mean 6 months ago when i reciprocated a willingness to fuck you backed off hard#and became weird to me for quite a while#I'm freaking out now because last night i got the same response that he gave me before our friendship got weird for a bit#i said something that was more direct and he hit me with the ''ill respond better later''#well sir last time you said that to me you started acting awkward towards me for months on end...#granted i did mention the possibility of catching feelings last time and you had said you weren't looking for that...#so yeah i assume if you say that again you might be trying to back out again based off of that...#i mean he WAS working last night so#but then again he texted me hitting on me while he was working the other night.... he works at a bar#i can't go through this again man you gotta communicate with me#.bdo#speaking of communication i should probably communicate all THIS to him🙃#i wanna wait and see if he does respond like he said he would but how long should i wait is the question...
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thinking about how I wasn't really posting my adopts on here, even tho it's like most of what I do past few years. And I think partly it's because managing multiple accounts is a lot for me most days, but also Tumblrs weird culture around artists making money. Like if I posted the designs and said they were my OCs then people are fine, but the MOMENT I say "adopt" or "sale" then suddenly no one dares interact. As if it's some kind of curse to do so.
You can like (and even reblog) my adopts, or comms, or sale banners if I ever posted those, if you like the art and I won't take it as you wanting to spend money. I promise you it's really not as awkward as everyone makes it out to be.
Art is art is art, price tag or not.
#I'm sure there's a lot to it too on an individual by individual basis#And I know recently mine have a big ole watermark but I'm not just talking ABT recently#Nor am I the only one#In fact it's kind of a thing artists find out ABT tumblr last I checked#Anyways I'm not saying you're bad for not engaging with art that has monetary strings on it#Just saying it's so noticable that it's weird and put me off uploading anything for literal years#Because why should I bother if I know it'll tank just cuz I sold something#As if that affects the art itself in any way??#Anyways now I'll just blame my watermark#Unfortunately I cannot escape thieves I have an issue yearly minimum#So the less opportunity the better imo#Plus I know some users on th can be nervous abt the same thing#Some of the older works the wm is very ... Bold#But it gets better later#Anyways hope people can enjoy what I've done over the past few years#I know I did making them#Text#Not art
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the satsujinki is such a dumb and silly concept i love it ngl. like the murder time trio can just FUSE together??? just like that??? excuse me hello this is absolutely hilarious.
(for context the satsujinki is the murder time trio's stage 3 in their fight. it's not canon to something new or horrortale or dusttale BUT it is canon to the person who made the murder time trio boss fight (TOUKEN KAMUI I LOVE YOU SO MUCH) ,,,, sooo........ (i am very aware that the satsujinki only ever forms in the very rare instance that the trio are about to lose and their souls are already exposed. and theres also almost zero information on the satsujinki like ever. so i'm just ditching everything and going with the idea that the mtt can fuse together and have a fusion. because that's sillier :3))
do they just like do it at random times?? if the trio's ever struggling in battle do they ever just nod heads at each other and fuse like a signal that "we need to pull out the big guns". or is it like something REALLY personal and touchy that they only do for special occasions (i'd assume literally BECOMING ONE PERSON is a pretty sensitive topic esp for the insane freaks that are the murder time three,,,,,) do they need to do a steven universe fusion dance for it? what WOULD a fusion dance between the mtt look like??? is the satsujinki like their estranged child that they refer to only in vague sentences? can the murder time trio communicate to each other in one head when fused together. does the appearance of the satsujinki change if it's killer absorbing dust and horror's souls and not dust absorbing killer and horror's?? what about if its horror instead of dust. do the trio have control over each of the pairs of arms???? who gets control of the main body. do they pilot the satsujinki like a mecha suit??? does the satsujinki have feelings??? does it have literally every issue the mtt has? can it hear phantom paps and ser killer's hallucinations??? does it HURT? can the satsujinki function to do anything except kill. how would it even WORK how much lv would it have?? is the satsujinki a IT??? ive been calling it an it this entire time because what IS IT.
i also think its funny that the name literally translates to "the murderer." or "the killer" hello that's just dust's og name or killer's literal name repeated??? it also means "devilish homicide" or "god-killing demon" in which i say,,,, cmon man. the mtt is a cringe concept already but these names are just COMEDICALLY bad it's hilarious 😭😭😭
if you have a fusion together is that the ultimate form of a relationship. mttpoly is so real they became one person. isn't that kinda intimate. being the same existence,,,, they all started out as sans (the same guy) and now they're fused together as the satsujinki (them all as the same guy). this is a strange concept that i think is hilariously funny and needs elaborating on
#but but but triglycercule! the satsujinki is a fusion of insanity dust and killer you cry out in rebuttal#and to that i say SHUT UP. insanity not as cool as horror i pretend he doesn't exist#mtt NEVER includes insanity. hes not a real murder time trioer. he's their plus one#mtt ft. insanity. mtt + insanity. mtt and insanity. mtt with guest appearance insanity#touken kamui is one of the people i respect most. wdym youre the guy that made the mtt boss fight real. WDYM.#if you can't tell i fucking love the version of the mtt where they all fight against the player#touken kamui's mtt is one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITES!!! IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT CANON AT ALL BUT I FUCKING LOVE IT!!!!#they dont know jackshit about eachother. they were teleported to the judgement hall just because they had bad lives bc of the human#but maybe in the eternal battle of death and resets they'll learn about eachother. they'll learn to accept and hate and love#there's really not much you can do but bond with the two guys you're partnered up with in fighting god in a timeloop#they start off with only a goal to kill the human but end with side goals to protect eachother#maybe the trio fight eachother mid fight. maybe one of them kills himself to avoid fighting. doesn't matter because they all come back#they are stuck together in what's possibly the worst hell possible and yet stick together. because what else can they do?#that last sentence is kinda similar to the mtt's dynamic in nm's gng but it is VERY different#i can never stress this enough but the mtt is literally perfect for eachother.... i CANT!!!! how do they work so well together!!!!!#THEIR DESIGNS ARE COHESIVE THEIR PERSONALITIES WORK WELL TOGETHER THEIR BACKSTORIES HAVE PARALLELS#HOW CAN IT GET ANY BETTER!!!! I LITERALLY CAN'T THINK OF A SHIP BETTER THAN MTT POLY I JUST CAN'T!!!!#yk i was never much of a shipper in other fandoms. except for now. i literally became a shipper just for the murder time trio#fuck i love them so much nobody understands nobody gets me NOBODY GETS IT!!!!!!!!!!!#ok...... i think that's enough..... triglycercule it's time to get you back to the retirement home#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#but the REAL murder time trio. not them together but them as a GROUP canonically. heheheheheheheh#tricule rant
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i would call my dad to apologise, but knowing him it would just hurt him unnecessarily to be reminded of that because he's not really good with bluntness which is what caused this whole thing and the other issue is that i know i will impulsively act like this many times in the future, so i guess the best thing i can do is continue to be as kind to him as i can be
#crying as i'm typing this :/#idk nino has every reason to act that way towards his dad but i literally had/have none so seeing that behaviour last night in that episode#displayed so plainly really made me hate myself. and my dad is the very opposite of donato my dad is actually the most like enzo#he's infinitely kind and caring but he's better with numbers than words and i always twist whatever he says to something#he absolutely didn't mean and sometimes i even do it knowingly. i know he didn't mean it but#when i get mean i don't have a pause button i just let it all out#and my mom is like that too so we don't really hurt each other when we do that#but my dad and my sister take this kind of thing super personally. and they just stay quiet about it while you're being a monster#so i don't really know. i've been thinking about this a lot this entire semester i just don't want him to get sick again#but then again i can't shake off the feeling that he's interpreting me being less sharp as pity#he's okay btw but the doctor wasn't sure about something a month ago so idk...#this year has been. terrible. all three of them back home aren't having a good time at all#and i literally process all of that as my own problems#needed to put this somewhere just ignore it#letters from stephanie*
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post depressive episode clarity like what the fuck do you mean they'll never disappear, just fade.
#mine#tw: sh#i'll be a 30yo woman a 40yo woman a 50yo woman a 60yo woman and someday an old woman with SCARS ON MY ENTIRE LEGS?? like forever????#and i KNOW i broke through enough skin layers for these to never heal entirely like catscratches do#forever? for real? like the rest of my days? i'm never gonna have a healthy clean body like everyone else ever again?#it's THAT easy to just throw it away forever in a second?#i'm gonna be sick#what the fuck man#like both shoulders both thighs both calves entirely ruined#what the actual. fuck.#FUCK.#the awful part of the last year is over thank god#it was an episode lasting from like idk january until#august maybe#i think i'm finally feeling better#but i was really looking into legal psychiatric euthanasia there. drafting my fucking mail to the Dying With Dignity type companies#cause i went to a shrink who told me that i have bpd and while i didn't believe him#fact of the matter is that in some eu countries you're allowed to get euthanized for that. so .#but that doesn't matter i'm a bit better now i'm not thinking about it as much anymore#but it sickens me that#not only do i have to fucking take it alone#but i also have to deal with a lifetime of ridicule disgust “turn off” and pity afterwards#my own best friend told me to make sure to cover up when we slept at a relative's#and i felt it was ridiculous that anyone could even judge me negatively based on the scars when it's me who had to deal with this shit#not them!! and clearly it wasn't fucking easy!!! like if anyone it's not you who's getting hurt from this!!!!!!#i asked her whether she would ever be thrown off by seeing healed scars#and in the coldest tone she replied 'No but I would not know how to explain that to my kids.'#the relatives did not. in fact. have kids.
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the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up
#bert's dead dad tag#found out today the way my dad told mom he wanted a divorce?#he wrote her a letter and left it on the dining room table for her to find on the morning of her fortieth birthday#who the fuck does that dead father#like that is the sort of thing i would entirely make up if i needed everyone at the table to fuckin hate an npc#and at least one person would go 'you're laying it on a little bit heavy'#i know he did work to become a better person as he got older#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s#and we are having Complicated feelings about it tonight and also for the last nine months#something something when i was writing his eulogy i came across an old article discussing something he did in the 90s#YDIP (your dad is problematic)#like yeah this is the sort of thing that would have been vaguely acceptable in the cultural context#but like. still objectively bad. potentially ruining several lives sort of bad.#learned this and then wrote the rest of his eulogy about how he was a great guy and how i'm lucky to have been his son#(which was rough enough on its own because i've never said 'i'm [dad's name]'s son' as many times as i did that trip home)#but like what else do you do? i sent off a message looking for more information#and that information if it comes is just gonna sit with me i guess#sure as hell not telling my sister and this whole thing i've been getting through without really having anyone here for me to talk to#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)#so even if i get all the answers i want about this one thing it's not gonna do any good except putting an end to one question#but part of having a dead dad who's been out of the business of forming new memories since you came out is having more questions#answering this one's just gonna add even more questions to the pile#but. got fuckall else to do
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