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andreafmn · 1 year ago

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You'll Feel Better | Remus Lupin Oneshot

Word Count: 3.8K Requested by @blackloveangel13: "Remus Lupin" Paring: Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader

Summary: It had always been a running joke between the Marauders that Remus always had chocolate on him. But (Y/N) didn't know how it had started. After James, in a cruel attempt at a hurtful joke, reveals the reason to (Y/N) she can't help but make it her mission to change Remus' mind about the sweet treat.

A/N: the request didn't have any specifications, so I ran with a little idea I had been playing around with. I've always found the fandom headcanon around Remus eating chocolate to kill the wolf inside him. To calm that, I decided to put an angsty with a happy ending spin to it. Hope you enjoy! 💖💖 Also, I went with a fem!reader becuase the profile of the requester had the pronouns she/her 😊

The thing about rumors is that sometimes they are true. But the worst thing is when that rumor is spread amongst your own friends about the person you love the most.

The Marauders all knew about Remus’ lycanthropy. How could they not? He had trusted them with his deepest secrets, just like they had done with theirs. Hell, they had learned how to be Animagi for him.

But no amount of closeness could ever make the teasing die between them, even when it was borderline cruel. Especially when it came to James Potter. Growing up, he had been coddled enough that sometimes, he did not know where the limits lay. Everyone knew that he would never intentionally hurt his friends. Still, sometimes, his words and jokes cut too deeply.

And (Y/N) could take it most of the time. She was strong enough to face off with him. It was only when it came to Remus Lupin that she found her resolution unable to withstand his jabs. She would grow red with anger whenever James joked about Remus’ careful nature, how he allowed things to simply happen to him. He called him shy and awkward, sometimes scratching the line of coward. And it took everything in her not to explode at him every time. If Remus was there, he could keep her centered. But she would tear James a new one on the rare occasion that he wasn’t.

(Y/N) knew the side of Remus that their friends seemed to forget. She knew he shielded the witty, calculated, and intelligent side from the rest. It was what had made her fall for him. At first, she believed she simply had an affinity for the Lupin boy, that they had a connection she did not have with the rest of the Marauders. Yet, as time went on, she discovered that the sentiments she felt toward the boy were far stronger than those of friendship. They were emotions she could never tell him about, not without losing his friendship, and that was something (Y/N) would never do.

It had been a day like any other when (Y/N) had heard the rumor for the first time. It was spilling out of James’ mouth as if it were nothing but a joke. And maybe to him, it was. Peter and Sirius seemed to think so as they laughed at the pureblood’s words.

“Where’s Remus right now?” the raven-haired boy had asked as he sat on an armchair in the Gryffindor common room. He propped his feet on the armrest, dug into a box of Every Flavour Jelly Beans, and popped one into his mouth. “Ugh, vomit!”

“I think he went to the kitchens to ask for some chocolate,” Sirius shrugged. “Full moon’s tomorrow, and you know how he gets around those days.”

“Yeah,” Peter snickered. “His sweet tooth gets activated to no avail. One day, he’ll give himself a cavity.”

“Oh, lay off him, guys,” (Y/N) said, crossing her arms over her chest. Sometimes, she hated being the only girl they had accepted into their little group. She wondered if it was easier to be with them if she had been on the outside looking in –like Lily Evans, maybe Theresa Berlitz, or even Sasha Monnet. The latter she envied the most. The girl that held all of Remus’ attention, and she didn’t even care for it. “You know it’s hard for him to regulate his system after such a brutal transformation.”

“Oh, there goes the pup again. Defending her little boyfriend,” Potter guffawed. “He’s old enough to fight his own battles, (Y/N). If you’re not gonna tell him how you feel, let him grow up on his own.”

“Shove it, Potter. As if you didn’t need my help to get Lily to even look your way,” she spat back. “He’s our friend. I’m defending him against you when he’s not here to do it for himself. I know you have one, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a dick.”

The other two boys tried their hardest to hide their laughter, but their red faces instantly gave them away. And before they could stop it, they barked out their chuckles. (Y/N) saw how that made James’ face shift. His cocky grin was instantly replaced with an annoyed scowl. But he was never one to stay down for long. He always had something up his sleeve.

“Maybe you shouldn’t spend so much time defending him, (Y/N). Maybe you should spend more time saving him from himself.”

She felt her chest squeeze at his words. Not knowing what they meant made her spiral, going down a thought storm she did not want to face. “What are you mumbling about, Potter?”

“Don’t you know why he eats so much chocolate?” James answered, a smug look on his face. “I thought you two told each other everything. But I guess he didn’t want you mommy-ing him about it.”

“James,” Sirius warned, seeing as tears pooled on the corners of the girl’s eyes. “Don’t.”

But the boy simply raised his hand and stared deeply into the witch’s eyes. “Darling, (Y/N). I thought you were smarter than that,” he chuckled mockingly. “You know how toxic chocolate is to canines, right? The poor boy eats his weight in chocolate to try and kill the wolf inside.”

The words sent a pang to her heart. If they were true, it meant that Remus hated that part of him so much that he would have rather eat himself sick with sweets than accept it. The thought made her stomach churn, but it wasn’t as unbearable as the red-hot anger taking over her. She wanted to lunge at James, beat him bloody until they pried her nails off his body. She would have done it if it had not been for Peter’s hand on her arm.

“You truly are something else, Potter. He is your friend,” she spat, her tone poignant and enraged. “He’s trusted us with his deepest secret. Trusted that we are here to help him navigate it rather than beat him down over it. And you say those words as if they’re something to laugh at. You can truly be a despicable person, James.”

“Oh, come on, (Y/N). Stop being so dramatic,” he laughed. “It won’t actually do anything to him. It’s just chocolate. It’s not like I’m telling you he ingested a death potion.”

“Sod off, Potter,” she responded. “It’s honestly becoming that the first bean you ate was vomit. It seems that’s the only thing you can spew from your mouth sometimes.”

She left her friends with a surprised look on their faces and left for the girls’ dormitories. There was no point in waiting up for Remus to return. He most likely would have returned long after they were meant to be in their beds, and she was too exhausted to face him.

(Y/N) cried herself to sleep that night, thinking of how much pain Remus had to endure. Not only was he fighting a physical battle, but every day, he fought a mental one as well, and there was nothing she could do. Well, not yet.

The next day, (Y/N) avoided her friends at all costs. She knew Remus would be excused from most of his classes as he prepared for the long night ahead, and the last thing she wanted was to face James. Even if he seemed to sport an apologetic frown on his face during breakfast. She wanted him to feel sorry. She wanted him to ruminate on the words he had spouted about one of his best friends. She wanted him to never again speak of him –or any of them for that matter–in that way.

Sirius and Peter were not safe either. Even in their Potions and DADA classes, where they sat either next to or near each other, she acted as though they weren’t even there. They had known that James had said that before. Their faces had told her as much. They hadn’t been surprised when the sound escaped Potter’s mouth. They simply didn’t want her to hear it. In her eyes, they were just as bad.

As the day passed, her anger had started to dwindle. Mostly because she felt lonely. Her only solace would have been Remus, and she knew she could not be with him. Not until the night had fully passed. She couldn’t even find solace in the rest of her friends. But instead of dwelling in her sadness, she locked herself in the library to concoct a plan. Nothing fueled her more than making sure that Remus Lupin was okay, and she would make sure he was.

That night felt endless.

(Y/N) spent hours staring at the enchanted ceiling she had created inside the secret passageway in Gregory the Smarmy’s corridor, watching as the moon moved slowly. It was the place Remus always went to after a transformation, too tired to head back to the Gryffindor common room and face his friends. Sometimes, he just needed some time to himself.

She clutched the Marauder’s Map tightly in her hands, thanking Merlin that Sirius had handed it over to her without any questions. Once the moon had disappeared in her enchantment, she looked for Moony’s name and watched as it inched closer and closer. And before she knew it, the exhausted boy stood before her.

“(Y/N),” he breathed with a relaxed smile on his face. He joined her side, sliding down the stone wall until he hit the hard floor. “What are you doing here? You should still be sleeping.”

“I’ve brought you something,” she said. She pulled a cardboard box out of her satchel and handed it to him. “I made you some peanut butter-chocolate cookies, and some chocolate truffles.”

“You didn’t have to do that, pup. A chocolate bar or two normally does the job,” he responded, looking at the treats in his hand. At first, he didn’t notice it, but once he turned, it was unmistakable. Her cheeks were stained with old tears as new ones fell on top, her eyes red and puffy from crying. “Oh, (Y/N). What’s wrong?”

Disregarding his question, she brushed back a strand of hair that was covering his forehead, revealing a streak of blood falling from a deep slash. “You’re bleeding, Remus,” she said softly, pulling out the first aid kit she always kept on her. “Let me clean that up.”

“There’s spells for that, pup. You don’t have to go through the trouble.”

“Hush now,” she sniffled. “Let me work.”

Her hands were gentle against his skin, working swiftly and gently, making sure not to disturb the wound any further. It wasn’t deep enough to require immediate medical attention, but deep enough that it would scar. She worked until not a drop of blood was left on his face and covered it with a bandage.

“Eat,” she smiled. “You’ll feel better.”

“Then will you tell me what’s wrong?” Remus offered, his brown eyes pleading for an answer. “I don’t like to see you this upset.”

“Oh, nothing’s the matter,” she smiled weakly. “Just eat. It’ll make me feel better.”

With a lopsided grin, he took a bite of a cookie, closing his eyes as he savored the combination of flavors. A moan of delight left his throat, and he rested his head against her shoulder as he enjoyed the entirety of the bite. “Definitely better than a chocolate bar,” he chuckled softly. “But I can’t promise I won’t eat one or two every once in a while. Can’t have you living in the kitchens the rest of the year.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” (Y/N) responded, trying her best to swallow the tears that kept threatening to spill. “I’ll make you all the cookies in the world if that’s what you need.”

“What I need is for you to be okay,” he told her, gently wiping away the streaks from her cheeks. “Will you please tell me what’s wrong? I don’t like to see you like this, pup. It breaks my heart.”

“James,” she finally sighed. “Something he said just rubbed me the wrong way, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

“That Potter boy can be too much sometimes,” he said defeatedly. “What was it this time? Please tell me it was nothing directed at you.”

“No, it’s… it was about you, Remus,” (Y/N) admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “He said something about you I didn’t like. But what angered me the most was that he laughed about it.”

“What was it?”

“I don’t wanna say, Moony,” she pleaded. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Darling, it’s James,” he teased. “He’s not smart enough to say something that will truly hurt me. But I don’t want you to carry it on your own. Now, out with it.”

(Y/N) took a steadying breath, sarong at the hand that held hers, tracing the scars with her eyes. “He said that the reason you eat so much chocolate is because it’s toxic to canines,” she confessed, a sob shaking her body. “That you believe that if you eat enough of it, it’ll kill the wolf inside you.”

An oh escaped Remus’ lips before he pulled her in for a tight embrace, trying his best to console her laments. It crushed him that he was inadvertently the cause of her pain. That was the last thing he wanted.

“Is it true, Remus?” Her voice croaked, breaking any ounce of preservation he still held. “Please tell me it isn’t.”

“It was at first,” he sighed. (Y/N) was tucked under his chin, and he could feel her body shake as she tried to breathe. He ran his hands through her hair, soothing her tenderly. “When I was a kid, I had read that dogs could die from eating chocolate. That even the smallest amount could do them harm. One Hallowe’en celebration, I gathered as many pieces as I could muster and ate them until I was stuffed. Ultimately, I ended up throwing up this sickly-looking brown mixture, and I thought I had done it. Until the next full moon, where I still transformed.”

“Oh, Remus,” (Y/N) cooed as she squeezed his waist.

“I guess I still associate the taste with those thoughts,” he continued, feeling the warmth of his tears trailing down his cheeks. “I can’t lie to you, (Y/N). Every time I feel the sweet melt in my mouth, a part of me hopes that it is weakening the wolf at the very least. That the more I eat it, the frailer it’ll become.”

“I don’t want you to think that anymore, Moony,” she said. (Y/N) straightened herself and sat before him, her teary eyes boring into his. She took his hands in her and kissed his knuckles. “Even if it takes me forever, I will make sure every memory you have with it is replaced by a happy one. If I have to bake a million chocolate cookies or make a million truffles –I don’t care–I will do it. I will do it until my hands bleed. I will do it until your heart doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“There’s no point, pup,” he said, his head falling in defeat. “It will not change the fact that I am still cursed. Forced to turn into a monster every single month. Always hoping that the people I love are safe from me, from what I can do. It’s a life sentence that I will have to face by myself.”

“As long as I am alive, Remus, you must know that you will never be alone,” she told him, placing a hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at her. “I love every single part of you, Moony. Even the parts that you cannot stand.”

“This is not a life I could wish on you, (Y/N). Not you,” he sniffled. “You deserve so much better.”

(Y/N) couldn’t find the words to say just how wrong he was. That the only life she had ever dreamed of had him by her side. So, she decided to show him. She leaned in and took his lips on hers in a moment of bravery. For a second, she thought he would push her away and remind her that his sights had been set on Sasha.

Instead, Remus melted into the kiss, pulling her closer to him by her waist. He kissed her as though she was the only source of oxygen in that passageway. As though her lips held the very force he needed to exist. As though she was his reason for being.

“I don’t want a life that you’re not in, Remus,” she said breathlessly, her forehead resting against his. “I want to walk beside you, for better or worse. And I want to show you that you deserve all the love and happiness in the universe. Even if you don’t believe me.”

“I’d believe anything if it came from your lips,” he smiled. “And as far as I see it, chocolate has now brought me something I never thought I could have.”

“Yeah?” (Y/N) grinned, popping a truffle into her mouth. “And what’s that?”

“Well, you, pup,” he smirked before kissing away a speck of chocolate on her lips. “I thought I was bound to live with my feelings for you for the rest of my life.”

“You thought that? I was under the impression that you were moping over Sasha Monnet.”

“Where would you even get that idea?” Remus chuckled in surprise. “She’s just a friend.”

“And why did you think that I didn’t reciprocate your feelings? I’ve honestly believed you were simply ignoring them for my sake.”

The pair exchanged a knowing glance before bursting into laughter. “Sirius,” they said in unison.

“I’m gonna kill that boy,” Remus said. “I can’t believe we’ve spent the past five years tiptoeing around each other when we could have been doing this the whole time.”

“Well, it serves us right for entrusting Padfoot with such meaningful information,” she chuckled. “I wonder if they’ve made bets on when we would notice.”

“You can best believe they have,” he joined in her laughter before looking down at his watch. “And as much as I would love to stay here all day with you, we, unfortunately, have classes to attend to.”

“You mean we can’t stay hidden in here all day and make out?” (Y/N) sighed dramatically and fell on Remus. “What ever shall we do?”

“We can always come back tonight,” the boy smirked. “Put that map to good use while we have it.”

“I like where your head is at, Moony,” she smiled before placing a soft kiss on his lips. “But I do agree we have to go. I have to stop by the kitchens before breakfast.”

“I think I’m good on delicious chocolate snacks, pup.”

“Oh, it’s not for you, my darling Remus. There’s someone I need to eat his words. And I know just the way to do it.”

After changing into their uniforms, (Y/N) made a detour to the kitchen, bribing a house elf for a rather peculiar request. Remus waited patiently for her outside the doors until they walked hand in hand into the Great Hall. Their friends’ eyes followed their figures until they settled with them, sliding onto the bench as they had done many times before.

“Good to see you back with us, (Y/N),” Sirius was the first to speak. “I think I speak for all of us when I say we missed you yesterday.”

“Yeah, we’re sorry for being insensitive,” Peter frowned.

“And James here,” Sirius said as he shoved his friend’s shoulder. “Wants to say something.”

“Right,” Potter affirmed, clearing his throat. “I didn’t mean to make fun of something so serious, (Y/N). You know, sometimes I cross the line.”

“No worries, James,” she smiled sickeningly sweetly. “And to show that all is forgiven, I’ve brought you this.”

The witch handed her friend a small box, much like the one she had handed Remus that very sunrise. She watched as James opened it and, as he smiled, took a bite of the pastry inside. Their friends watched in confusion as Potter enjoyed the sweet, savoring every bite. They waited for a surprise. A jinx or a potion laced into the treat. But it never came.

“Careful, love,” (Y/N) said. “That’s a rhubarb breakfast cake.”

“So what? I like rhubarb.”

“Well, wouldn’t want people to think you’re eating it to kill the stag inside,” she smirked. “I thought you’d be smart enough to know that rhubarb is toxic to deer.”

Sirius, Remus, and Peter burst out in laughter as James’ face reddened in embarrassment. He sent the treat down and busied himself with his food. After that, the boy never again seemed to speak out of his arse. At least, not about his friends.

Many years later, at 12 Grimmauld Place, an older Remus Lupin sat before a fireplace when Harry Potter joined him. The man fiddled with the ring on his left hand, twirling it as he always did when he was lost in thought. Once he noticed the boy beside him, unconsciously, he handed him a piece of the chocolate bar he had on the coffee table next to him.

“May I ask you something, Remus?” the boy asked.

“Of course, my boy. Anything.”

“I heard some rumors about you and chocolate,” he said, his voice weak. “About why you always carry it with you.”

“I think I might know what you’ve heard,” Remus chuckled softly. “Something about wanting to kill the wolf inside, am I right?”

“Yes,” Potter confessed. “Is it true? Does it actually poison it?”

“No,” he laughed. “Your dear old father made sure that stupid idea didn’t die down.”

“My dad was the one that spread it?”

“In a way,” he smiled as he remembered that fateful day. “But do you want to know the real reason I always carry it with me?”

“Yes.”

“It reminds me of one of the happiest moments in my life,” he said before the door behind them opened. “I can’t eat it without smiling anymore, and I like to think it’s contagious.”

“What are you two talking about?” (Y/N) asked as she walked in, followed by an enchanted tray with three cups of tea and a plate of peanut butter-chocolate cookies. “I hope it is age-appropriate things, Remus.”

“I would never think of speaking of anything else,” he smirked as he accepted a kiss from his now wife. “My wife would never let me hear the end of it.”

After she chuckled, (Y/N) turned to Harry, inspecting the boy’s exhausted expression tenderly. Looking at him without thinking of James became easier as the days passed. But sometimes, she couldn’t help the confusion in her brain. “Oh, darling,” she cooed. “You look so tired.”

“I haven’t been sleeping great,” he shrugged.

(Y/N) handed him one of the teacups as Remus placed a cookie on a napkin for Harry. “Eat,” she smiled. “You’ll feel better.”

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