#you'll come back to yourself
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I never know when I'll have to give you back.
Michaela Angemeer, You'll Come Back To Yourself
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"you can just be you
and i can just be me
and we can just be us"
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give yourself time to let him go it will happen slowly, then all at once — Michaela Angemeer
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off of my last post: i feel like corporate horror has such a rich seam of possibilities that are just begging to be mined. the helpless, nightmarish feeling of watching your life get chewed up by the implacable machinery of faceless corporations in which you are nothing but an easily-replaceable cog and knowing the whole time that you chose to be here. that you can, theoretically, leave any time you want. mindless, pointless busywork that you're expected to take pride in even when it has no measurable impact. feeling like you're running on a treadmill - always busy, never achieving anything. upper managers who only communicate with you by email. CEOs who never communicate with you at all, and may not actually exist for all you know. you can leave any time you want. but you can't, can you? not really. you still have to pay the bills.
#maybe i need a new job#i am only 2 episodes into severance but i loveee the concept of 'even if you walk out you'll just come back again'#like the reason you can't leave is not just because there's a locked door in the way. you can't leave because you trapped yourself here#it's very smart! i like it
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taking a break from intricate book cover im working on to line Neptune.. He has a nice belly so wanted to share it before I sleep
#goodnight#if youre reading this please take care of yourself and keep doing your best. there will be people who will always tear you down but#you dont deserve it. you're doing your best#and you cant always do your best. you'll need rest. and to feel bad#and to wallow and feel negative#have that time and come back stronger
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Family Tradition
#rottmnt#rise leo#rise karai#rise krang#rise shredder#animation#my art#if it looks a lil rough in some parts no it doesnt#the hamato instinct to trap yourself in an alternate prison world with something that hates you not knowing if you'll ever be able to leave#the hamato misfortune of having to interface with krang tech to protect your family#(the hamato ability to pull your family right back out of that dimension)#(*donnie voice* classic hamato self sacrifice)#been thinkin about karai and leo having to fight a krang effected family member and about them both being still so young and having to take#on the role of leader when they really shouldn't have had to yet#and certainly not under the potential world ending duress they both endured#cause like how old are we really thinking karai was guys#when she first entered a prison dimension with something that looked like her dad and didnt come back out#also thinking about how the scroll ansestors prioritize karais mission and keeping the shredder contained over everything else#but how the second she gets out she emphasizes how proud she is of splintz for letting them be a family#this has gotten to long but *slaps roof* this family can fit so much trauma AND love in it!!
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No, never. Missy! I will never stand with Doctor!
#simm!master#missy#gomez!master#tenth doctor#twelfth doctor#doctor x master#doctor who#dwedit#dw#*#not even trying to consistently color this one soz ✌️#so i was thinking abt the change in simm!master's attitude from eot (“get out of the way”) to s10 (“i will never stand with the doctor”)...#and like. what if you voluntarily saved the doctor by throwing yourself back into the time war#the war that you made yourself human to escape from the first time round#dragged back to gallifrey at the mercy of the ppl who you just opposed? (the people who engineered your insanity in the first place?)#when missy asks him to go to gallifrey with her & 12 says ''you'll be clapped irons'' yeah i'm sure it was a great deal more than that#for the deserter. for the person who they cursed as a child & still failed to bring about their salvation#for the someone who tried to kill the founder of all time lord society#and then when gallifrey is saved... does the doctor (again: whose life you saved!!! when you last saw each other) come looking for you? no#you have to get yourself out. and when you find yourself trapped & the doctor finally does appear... what does he say to you?#''so they cured your little condition and kicked you out'' !!!!#like. yeah. i think simm!master is totally in the right for not listening to a single thing 12 says past that point. lmao.
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i love can't go back you have no fucking idea. how that song makes me. I'm on the floor about this
#(it's not fair) when have you ever known the world to be a fair place?#(it's not fair) all things end all things change#(it's not fair) you'll look back and laugh someday#(it's not fair) or at least you'll learn to be okay#cause you can't go back darling the time has has come for moving on#you can't be always trying to dig up what you've already buried you've got to carry carry carry on#it's time learn to be more forgiving of yourself#this and nothing at all have like. changed me as a person#I used to dislike foxlore. what the fuck was wrong with me
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rewatched the renji ichigo fight + the star and the stray episodes yesterday and the renruki romance is so beautifully understated thinking about it literally makes my heart ache
#like to spend 40 years yearning for someone and carving out a place for yourself in this society that is so alien from the one you#grew up in and it values strength above all so you learn to fight and love the violence so one day you can feel worthy of the person you#always thought was above you even when you both came from the gutter and eventually you reach a place where you finally feel equal to that#person and you have a chance to speak but you don't take it because you've waited this long what's one more month? you'll talk to her when#she gets back except she doesn't come back. not when she was supposed to#then you learn she's committed a capital offense and you're sent to arrest her and you're furious at her but that's nothing compared to how#furious you are at yourself and the fact that this place that you worked so hard to become someone that mattered in is now putting the one#person you did it all for to death#like god kubo tite the man that you are#renruki#bleach
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I don't know if we'll finally collide in this century, but I am certain I have loved you in more than a thousand different lifetimes.
Michaela Angemeer, You'll Come Back To Yourself
#Michaela Angemeer#You'll Come Back To Yourself#Quote#quote of the day#quotes#love quotes#relationship quotes#love
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Hell hath no fury like a man with nothing to lose
#the mandalorian#grogu djarin#hinderr art#role swap#ouuughh role swap grogu post s2 finale you are everythingggg to meeeeee#after 150 years you find something worth being alive for after losing your planet and your home and your culture and your people you find#HOPE. and then !!! he !!! leaves !!!#and you let him go. obviously you let him go. his place is not with you and by god you need him to find his place. the galaxy is humongous#not even you will get to see it all#so you let your boy go. and you will keep letting him go. even when he comes back to you he will have to keep leaving. because thats what#children do. thats what your boy will do. so you let him go. and then one day you'll let him go#and he's not coming back. and a big part of you will hate yourself for letting him go#but the nature of children are to leave. and the nature of fathers is to get left behind
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made the realization my vampire story would work best as a video game and now i can't stop thinking about it
#personal#like. vtm meets cyberponk. do you understand#it would be very focused on prioritizing... because you do play as a fully established character#but you get a bunch of jobs to take care of and you have to decide what you do first and most importantly how you solve it#you can combine certain jobs to do at once to save yourself time and effort but everything you do comes with consequences#if you ignore a problem for too long or deal with it poorly it will come back to bite you in the ass later. you can lose friends and such#basically you have it all from the start and then gradually like. work your way towards a single ending#locking yourself out of other paths because of the choices that you make etc etc and so on#friendships can help you out but they can also get in the way of other things so you have to think about like#how far you're willing to let yourself get distracted. but also no distractions is also a bad way to go at it because you'll end up alone#it would have a wide variety of endings but i suppose the 'canon' one would be the one where everything works out#because of the whole already established character thing. and also this is not real this is my story so i can do what i want#if it was an actual video game it wouldn't have a canon ending but it's never gonna happen so i can say it has a canon ending#but yeah you can play as heavenly the vampire hunter or as sun the vampire and then you get cool vampire abilities :]#i do like the idea of romance availability but they're different depending on who you play as#valentine can be romanced by both but he's a little brat so idk if you'd want that#isaac can only be romanced by heavenly because isaac is a gay man. valeska can be romanced by sun only because#valeska and heavenly are exes. so you can have a one night stand with her as heavenly and then she ghosts you LMAO#you can go into clubs... you can play carousel with npcs. it would be a very immersive experience#if you hang out at certain clubs too much then other vampire factions will be warier of you when you visit their club instead#you can forge alliances to be allowed into certain areas in town. you can disguise yourself. you have to hide your weapons#there's actual ways you can research locations or people involved in gigs so you can prepare yourself properly and potentially like#learn new things that open up a new way to deal with a situation#sometimes you have to wait until nighttime to be able to go somewhere because it's quieter around those hours. or vice versa#sometimes you have to wait a few days before someone can meet with you but if you miss the meeting you have to reschedule#and then you have to wait even longer. and some quests don't give you that much time so then you'd have to improvise#being spotted in a location can be dealt with by wiping security footage / killing the person who saw you. or just reloading your save#but if you've been spotted and you don't take care of it then that will ALSO have consequences. etc etc and so on#difficulty level in the game would determine how generous the game is surrounding stealth / time for quests / resilience of the guy you pla#and it wouldn't like. necessarily turn enemies into bullet sponges because that's lazy. it's much more fun to change other things
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when he says that he's scared of hurting you it's not empathy, it's a warning. — Michaela Angemeer
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ppl who larp about the Revolution™ almost seem to expect someone *else* to take the leading role in it all so they can sit inside on their asses and do jack shit, they know they have no meaningful skills to offer and would only slow people down, but expect to *somehow* magically radicalize most americans into doing all the work for them because awww dey're just such a weak wittle babu that needs to be pwotected and defwended awlways uwu
like. come on. get a grip. if everything went your way and someone actually stronger than you came along to take the lead, you're likely not being invited, and you'll likely be left behind... which means left to the alt right, who will no doubt come to your house to see if you're perpetuating anything "woke", and you gotta know they wont just ask, they'll barge in and look through everything even your computer.
though, you should really focus on your plan. your first step: get along with people enough to even actually convince them its a good idea, and we all know you'll never dare to try that shit. you cant even be on here w/o blocking someone like me for even suggesting you are approaching this like a child playing war and you have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
you think you want a second holocaust (which is essentially letting trump win, i mean hitler got the majority vote in germany. thats how he rose to power. didn't just materialize out of thin air), but you dont seem to grasp the gravity of what that entails, or even that you'd be thrown in the camps with everyone else, all to stick it to jewish ppl and "the libs", even if it means you and all the ones you love die along with them. you are a net negative to humanity and quite frankly should be on a fucking watch list.
#tankies#accelerationists#i dont think the power of love and friendship is gonna carry you through this one guys#you're waiting for someone to come along and save you- this revolution is nothing more than a complex fantasy of you being saved#and protected. nothing more.#i understand you're scared. i understand you've made this idea your whole life and the only thing you dream about to feel better#about living in a world where you're oppressed and constantly in pain and have no power. it makes sense. i create such fantasies for myself#sometimes. but when we come back to reality- we cant expect to take the whole fantasy with us per se#the world isnt one day going to magically go exactly your way. its just not going to happen. it'd be nice if it did- we think- but it wont#you have to be more practical in this. you can use your fantasy as a motivator. a goal. be the change you want to see etc. etc.#but YOU have to take steps making it a reality. no one is going to be the all knowing person who saves you from all the problems#and can do all the things you cant do and save the day or whatever. it's never going to happen. you have to be that person#for yourself. if you're gonna larp about a revolution you have to at the bare minimum have this understood.#after that- you need conflict resolutions skills and to know how to communicate#you'll need to learn how to get along with people you dont like at all. you'll need to learn how to communicate your ideas effectively#you'll need to learn how to argue and defend your ideas and how to have the humility to be wrong and accept it and the ability#to change your mind. you'll have to educate yourself and keep educating yourself. you'll have to learn how to actually listen to other#ppl instead of trying to find a way to manipulate them to believe what you do#and after all that social stuff is out of the way- you need to learn some mother fucking SURVIVAL SKILLS BITCH#how to FIGHT and SURVIVE in any kind of environment. how to use weapons and build fires out of nothing n shit#if you cant manage all of that? you're fucked.
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as a writer how do you stop thinking about like getting kudos/comments? I've just started writing fanfic, and when I start a writing something -- it goes well and then eventually I get to point where I'm like "ahh but what the readers don't like that? or what if I don't get as many kudos or comments" and it makes it difficult to continue because then it becomes stressful -- I guess how do you deal with "wanting to write stuff for yourself" and "wanting validation" thanks!
You're going to hate this answer, because I hated it too, but TIME. When you first start writing and you get kudos and comments and people love what you're doing, it's a huge validation of your effort and talent, and it's natural that you want MORE of it. When I first started putting up fics I already had been writing for 15+ years, knew I was good at it, and still for a good few years found myself really glued to the hit counter, and the kudos, and wondering how I'd be able to get people to comment the same way they did on things like Seven Suitors.
But the thing is that commenting comes and goes in waves, and unless a fandom has a big comment culture, or is large enough that you're guaranteed a good glut of them every time you post...you're going to hit a point where you write exactly what everyone wants and get crickets. And at that point you'll get ANNOYED, because LOOK, I MADE THIS, i made it for YOU GUYS, and now y'all don't have anything to say? It'll get to you. It'll make you doubt that you know what anyone wants at all. It'll happen and it'll suck the whole time.
Lots of advice will say "write for yourself," which is an excellent sentiment. You should always write what YOU want. Put into your fic what you want to see, write the nitpicky poetic metaphors and craft the most screwball twists your heart desires. Pour yourself into the most niche AUs and most tin-hat canon theories. At the end of the day, you want the IDEAS you put down to be for you, because comments and kudos are nice, but if they don't come...you have to be proud of what you put out, even when it feels like an echo chamber.
But also...we don't POST things for ourselves. We post things to share. Fic are a conversation with canon and it is perfectly natural to want to create something that creates conversation among other fans. So you're never going to fully get the need for validation out of your head, you're not. You can hide hit counts and ignore your inbox all you like, but the want to have someone interact with your work, to inspire someone to reach out to you will ALWAYS be there. You just have to create a healthier relationship with it.
Be confident in what you write. Think less about whether people will like it, and more about how you WANT them to react. The reader is the most important character in any novel, but it's the one most authors forget to manage. When you come to a point where you go "oh man, I hope this is good for them!" stop and go, "what do I *want* them to be feeling here?" Focus on where you're putting their attention and whether you WANT it there. There's so much you can do when you visualize your relationship with the reader as PART of the work, and it takes off a lot of the pressure of "is this good? is it disappointing? will this get me validation?" and brings it back into the realm of storytelling. You are taking your reader on a journey, and when you do it well people will think less about "did I like that?" and more about "what comes next?"
#asks#writing advice#writing#please understand nonnie that what you are feeling is completely natural and part of the process#and shades of that will stick with you no matter how good you get#but the thing you want to keep in the center of your mind when it comes to that#is that you can only get kudos once on a fic and you are lucky to get a 1:100 comment vs hits ratio#so the instant validation WILL dry up and you'll have to have something about your story#that makes you push through. because people will come back and comment!#people will blow through 50+ chapter and leave you the most emotionally hungover review promising you their first borns#but sometimes you will have written a good third of them with NO feedback whatsoever#and you just have to trust in yourself that it's good. it's FINE#i used to obsessively check hits and be really put out to see how many people were coming and not commenting#especially when i wrote really emotionally driven stuff and really tore myself up to get those feelings through#but i also would have been miserable only writing fluffy 1 or 2 shots with no plot just to get the flush of comments those fics get#you just gotta do what you gotta do and let your audience find you. recontextualizing the relationship helps a LOT#i already was big on focusing on the meta plot of my works because as i said. 15+ years. had a lot of time to experiment and get good#but i still had to like. give myself the same pep talk 2 years in about how to view that relationship#everyone goes through it and if they say they don't they're a liar and i mean that seriously 🤣
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when you finish watching a film and just sit there watching the credits roll trying to process the wholly profound journey the character has been on
#only to come to the conclusion that you yourself could never travel in such a way#spiritually or otherwise#you'll probably never truly leave your home#not in the way that will bring you back unchanged and yet a new person#this is why we must create these stories#so we can live but for a moment a life that is not our own#and so through the characters learn to love the world anew#to take with us the lessons they learned in the tales we love#film#anime#existentialism#mood#story#suzume
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