#you'll be like ''what do you mean'' and then when you get to .....chapter 13 you'll be like

[bayetea]

there are many things about hazel's povs that have an intensely de-racialized vibe to them (read: divorced from the black girl experience) but I think any black person will tell you that the most obvious sign is the complete lack of attention paid to her hair

like firstly:

she's from the 1930s her hair was definitely getting permed and straightened (it was not acceptable to just wear your natural hair out back then. optics + cultural assimilation/you'll be hard pressed to find photos of black american girls with unstraightened hair in that time period unless they're from like..... harlem)

I do believe that marie was straightening it for her For A Time but then she became more neglectful and stopped so hazel had to do it herself. I'm almost positive that hazel wouldn't have even been permitted to set foot in her school building without straightening it because that's just how much of an expectation it was

ok she comes back from the dead. what's she doing to her hair now bc it's not just gonna be cutesy effortless curls falling over her shoulder no matter what the length is

how does she feel about living in a time period where natural black hair is more accepted (read: more, absolutely not fully)

there are no black people around her At All. in fact she's around a lot of white people on the argo (+nico) so that would probably be giving her some intense feelings of double consciousness (look this term up if you don't know what it means) and that would inform how she feels about her hair

theoretically she ought to be wearing her hair in braids for simplicity's sake but I think it's more likely that she would cling to what she knows (perming/straightening) because it's not easy for a 14 year old girl (PSA hazel is 14.5 in hoo not 13 btw 👍) to go from assimilating to deeply-ingrained white hair beauty standards to just proudly wearing a distinctly black hairstyle all by herself

mind you black women and girls can do whatever they want with their hair and straightening/perming it does not always/have to come from a place of self-hatred or whatever but in this particular case back then straightening one's hair was political And a survival tactic. it was as normal as brushing your teeth. it was enforced through dominant cultural messagings about the Absolute Necessity of conforming to white conventions of beauty. if you don't understand then think of it similarly to how you'd think of 1930s women needing to be perpetually dolled up and modestly dressed in order to be considered "good women" and anyways I'm just saying that this would be a lot to unpack for a 14 year old girl so hazel's probably just continuing to do this impractical thing (straightening her hair all the time) like 60% out of habit and 20% out of shame and 20% she doesn't know what else to do

something something about a missed potential character arc regarding all of this and in general there's so little mind paid to race in hazel's povs which is just ridiculous to me because a black girl from the jim crow era should have at least a few feelings about where she fits into modern society even if that society is camp jupiter. rick demonstrates his capacity to talk about how his characters feel about their race most notably in the kane chronicles so I don't think was too much to ask for. see this quote from an early son of neptune chapter:

^ like....... hazel's feelings of out-of-place-ness are There in the text and important to take note of when understanding her character (note that she's been there for like a year already and she still feels like she doesn't belong) but the emphasis is always put on her Being from a different time or Being undead and is never put on her out-of-place-ness regarding her race as a black girl from segregation times who is literally so out-of-place in this weird post-racial camp jupiter society. it feels like such an obvious thing to consider so its glaring absence really bugs me when I reread her povs and it bugs me when her hair is never talked about by extension because It Matters

you might be thinking "well she had a lot going on and she's not a superficial person maybe she just didn't care what was going on with her hair" and my response is simply that Black girls don't get to "not care" about their hair it is not the same thing as a white person going to school with bedhead it's not the same thing At All (if you aren't black then chances are you've never actually seen what untouched black hair looks like in the morning), especially when it's been beaten into your head for your entire life that your hair is ugly and you have to "do something to it" for it to be acceptable (and again...... she's from the 1930s so that feeling is magnified like 50x over). remember that perpetually dolled up modest 1930s woman I mentioned previously. picture her time traveling to camp jupiter of all places in 2010 and struggling to drop all of her makeup/hairstyling routines and internalized misogyny and conceptualizations of what women are "supposed" to be. this is the kind of fascinating character exploration that we really missed out on with hazel (and tbh regardless of her race she was never believably written as someone from the 1930s. I don't think rick even really tried to be honest)

you might also be wondering "how was rick supposed to know/attempt to portray any of that" and then my second answer is that If you're going to write a character who is not the same race as you then you should do some research and we have the internet now so research has never been easier 👍 this would be especially important to do if that person is a poc from the jim crow era I think! (he could have at least googled black hair 1930s)

anyways what I choose to believe (this is pure fanfiction) is that during hazel's first year at camp jupiter (remember that she was there for about a year before son started) nico would have helped her figure something out after observing her distress over her hair c: like they both secretly watched youtube videos on black hairstyles circa 2010 and then they got attacked by monsters for using a laptop (neither of them know how to use a laptop but he's trying his best for her) but then after killing them he helped her do her hair as something she likes that is easy to maintain <3 (I could also see reyna doing this because she surely knows a thing or two from her spa days)

[satureja13]

One night (or whatever time of the 'day' it was in the vastness of space surrounding them) Jack heard a rustle behind the panels! Jack: "Kiyoshi - wake up! Did you hear this?" Kiyoshi, who was sleeping way too comfortable with his mate tugged tight in his arms, pulled Jack even closer to him: "Mhh... hm? what?" Jack: "There was something rustling behind the panels! Maybe it's an alien creature coming after us!" They scrambled out of bed. Poor Kiyoshi still half asleep.

Kiyoshi: "Maybe we have an engine damage? This is an old ship. I hope we won't have a breakdown out here ö.ö " But Jack was sure: "It sounded like an alien creature." With all the weird theories Jack's world consists of, Kiyoshi didn't even bother to ask Jack when he ever actually heard an alien creature rustle to recognize the noises they're making...

They shoved their bed aside and opened the panel. Kiyoshi had a hard time convincing Jack to stay behind - and safe. But eventually he obeyed. Even though he's a werewolf (and the Super Soldier after all!) he's not invincible. And a stern and commanding Kiyoshi is undiniably hot!

And really, there was an open vent hole - leading into a narrow shaft! Too narrow for them to enter... (luckily ö.Ö')

They closed the hatch and secured it, then moved the panel back in place. Jack: "What are we supposed to do now? We should check the others' quarters to make sure they're safe!" Kiyoshi: "Don't you think maybe the Little Ones crawled in there, nosy as they are? To spy on us?" Skully chuckled from his perch on the sideboard: "They might be nosy but they are far from being that subtle! If they'd want to watch you, they'd barrel right in hahaHA!" Kiyoshi: "Where he's right he's right."

Jack: "But see! If it's not them, it is an alien creature - and it's coming after us then!" Kiyoshi: "Jack. We are the aliens out here... Did you ever think about that? Let's sleep. Your shift starts soon. We'll figure something out, hm? I'll message the others so they can check themselves." Jack: "You drop stuff like that and think I can sleep?"

Kiyoshi: "I'll hold you and watch over you." Jack: "Tch. Well, it's reassuring that you are on the side with the hatch. It'll eat you first." Kiyoshi: "I'd be not so certain about that. You are tastier :3 " Jack poked Kiyoshi in his side but snuggled closer nonetheless.

Soon after, Jack fell sound asleep. Because he did feel safe in Kiyoshi's arms. Aliens in the ventilation shafts or not... While Kiyoshi wished he could taste Jack just once again. And maybe he put a chaste kiss on Jack's forehead. That must do.

And Skully hummed 'I'm not in Love' by 10cc.

'I like to see you, but then again That doesn't mean you mean that much to me So if I call you, don't make a fuss Don't tell your friends about the two of us

Be quiet, big boys don't cry Big boys don't cry Big boys don't cry Big boys don't cry Big boys don't cry Big boys don't cry…

I keep your picture upon the wall It hides a nasty stain that's lying there So don't you ask me to give it back I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me

I'm not in love, no, no (It's because) Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me

I'm not in love, so don't forget it It's just a silly phase I'm going through And just because I call you up Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made, ooh

I'm not in Love - 10cc

If this isn't the perfect song for the two of them then I don't know which :3 It's also from Awesome Mix No 1 (OST of Guardians of the Galaxy 1)

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter: starts ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Here comes the Sun' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-29

[mqfx]

w will there be sexy archery...........................

cmon baby that's like asking the bakery for a single crumb... not ONLY will there be sexy archery, it will literally be a KEY moment in the final arc!! and in fact if you were around on the internet between 2016-2018 some of you will find it a bit familiar and start beating me to death with hammers but it's a price i am WILLING to PAY for my beautiful imps!!!!!

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Mate Chapter 13

Warnings: Angsty Minho, minor violence

Y/N felt a pain in her chest as she baked a load of snacks for Minho. Her omega didn't like what they were doing to Minho on his birthday. He seemed to value being close to people and took it personally when the smallest things were not recognised. She wanted to make it all better but Changbin promised he will be alright, eventhough Y/N disagreed. It wasn't fair, Minho must have felt annoyed to not go out on his birthday if it was a tradition. Y/N wouldn't have minded staying home if she couldn't go out. Y/N felt awful which was why she wanted to do something nice for him while they were out distracting him. She even spent the morning tidying his nest up, making sure it was as neat as possible for him. She even added some candles that she thought would enhance his scent. Once everything was baked she put it into tupperware boxes and left it on his side with a handwritten note for him, hoping he would appreciate it. When she walked back down into the kitchen to finish helping Felix she saw Hyunjin leaning against the alcove. His hair was pinned back into a lose ponytail, some of it falling out. He looked shattered, but somehow still looked incredibly attractive.

"Are you feeling better?" Y/N whispered, trying not to make eye contact with him as she walked passed him to Felix.

"Wouldn't you like to know." His tone laced with irony a meaning she didn't understand.

"Ah Alpha Hyunjin, your back. Did you shower?" Felix stated in excitement as he saw the alpha had returned. "Are you hungry, I made lots of food. I can make more."

"I am alright Lixie. Do not worry, I'm going out with Chan soon anyway." Hyunjin said softly as he ruffled the younger betas hair.

Y/N watched their interaction and found it quite sweet but also different. She hadn't seen Hyunjin as gentle before. Felix she had seen as gentle as if he was an omega. Felix was very docile and kind. He was always willing to please and if he got it wrong he felt immense guilt. She had never met such a sensitive beta before. It was quite cute, he reminded her of Yeosang. He was a very caring omega and always put others first. Felix noticed her staring at him and gave her a big grin, beckoning her over.

"What are you thinking about?" Felix asked as he brushed her hair behind her ear with his little finger.

"Your hair is getting longer." Y/N stated.

"Do you not like it?" Felix asked nervously.

"No. No. I really like it a lot, it's kind of sexy." Y/N blurted out, making Felix grin. His heart was being so hard in his chest in excitement.

"You're so cute Y/N-ssi." Felix stated as he pulled her into a hug, kissing all over her face, making the omega more embarrassed. "I'll keep it as long as you want. Come on let's finish this." Y/N and Felix continued to decorate the kitchen table with food, while Jisung and Jeongin where pulling some games out. It was all going great up until Minho had arrived with Seungmin and Jeongin.

"What's happened?" Y/N asked as she saw the angry look on Minho's face and an awkward Jeongin and Seungmin.

"Just stay out of my way." Minho growled as he pushed past Seungmin when Y/N grabbed hold of him with him excitement.

"Come on Minho-ah. I've got to show you something you'll-"

"I'm not in the mood omega. You better not have been in my room!" Minho shouted, snatching his arm away from her. Y/N's jaw tightened and she tried to focus on the wall in front of her so she didn't cry, but it was too late.

Felix ran towards Y/N and pulled her into his chest letting her cry. His beta instincts kicked in when he saw her disappointed face. Felix felt guilty, it was his idea to tidy Minho's room and put something's in there for him.

"Come on omega, Lix. We need to grab some candles." Hyunjin stated as he grabbed his car keys as the two wolves stared at him. "Let's go before Chan changes his mind." Felix nodded and walked to the cupboard to grab Y/N's coat only to realize she didn't have one so he grabbed Seungmins for her and gave it to her. It was a little bit too big for her but it will do.

"Let's go. Minho will be fine, he's probably feeling guilty." Hyunjin stated as he tried to hurry them up to the car. Y/N awkwardly followed, taking Felix's warm hand to the car and sitting in the back with him.

"Do not worry about Minho Hyung. He will feel guilty." Felix promised. What she didn't know was that Felix was right. The minute Minho had walked into his room and saw the note left on his side his heart shattered. He felt immense guilt as he read the note over and over again. He felt awful as he thought back to her excited face. Minho sat there in the middle of the floor and cried, knowing he had ruined it.

When they reached the shopping mall Felix took his hand in hers, holding it tightly as they followed Hyunjin to the shop.

"I'm going to go down there to get some art supplies, you stay with Felix." Hyunjin stated as Felix grabbed her hand tightly taking her to find candles.

"Ah ha. Here we go!" Felix stated as he grabbed the two and the six. Y/N realised she didn't know how old any of them where.

"Felix, how old are you?" Y/N asked.

"I'm 24. Wait, how old are you? When is your birthday. Have we missed it?" Felix asked nervously.

"No no. My birthday is February the 18th. I'm 23." Y/N answered

"Your birthday is near Jeongins. His is the 8th of February." Felix answered as he took her hand to the baking section. "I need some more tins as the other ones are not so good."

"Shall I take these to Hyunjin? He's only down there?" Y/N asked.

"Be quick." Felix stated as he looked through the tins and baking trays. Y/N nodded, pulling on Seungmins coat as she headed towards Hyunjin. Y/N pulled at the zip up to her neck, hiding her chin as she started to feel uncomfortable. There was a scent of old leather and spices around and she didn't trust it. She didn't want to panic incase it was another wolf but something in the back of her mind stated it wasn't and she was right to think that. As soon as she turned the corner she walked straight into her old alpha. Shit. Wooyoung! Y/N freezed as she stared up at him, almost holding her breath, as she slowly backed away, but he already grabbed, taking zero chances. Wooyoung wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled her out of the shop.

"Where did you run off too, omega? Ay?" Wooyoung's voice burned deep into Y/N's soul, rebranding her all over again.

"Do you know how worried Hongjoong has been? He will forgive you omega. He will forgive you for hitting him over the head. He knows it wasn't your fault. He knows it's Jongho's fault." Wooyoung cooed but his tone held a lie. Y/N started to panic as he pushed her out of the shopping mall.

"Look who it is omega. It's San." Wooyoung whispered, causing Y/N to dig her heals straight into the ground. San isn't always as kind when he was angry.

"Please. Please. Please." Y/N begged as she tried to pull him off of her. Her hands pushed and slapped Wooyoung but he didn't budge. Y/N even tried to bite him as she knew her fangs could do a lot of damage but she couldn't reach him. San watched in amusement as she thrashed in Wooyoung's arm.

"Come now omega. You've played long enough." San stated as he walked towards her, grabbing her chin roughly, forcing her to meet his amber eyes. As soon as she did he slapped her straight across the face. Y/N's hand slowly reached towards her nose as she felt the blood start to drip.

"Wooyoung!" Hyunjin growled, his eyes a deep shade of red as he met them, an angry Felix behind him. Y/N had never seen this side of Felix before. He looked lethal. His jaw locked and his hands clenched ready to fight if he needed too.

"Hyunjin" Wooyoung turned around, laughing at the alpha as he held Y/N tight in his grasp. "How unfortunate we meet again."

"Let. Her. Go." Hyunjin growled, his eyes burning into Wooyoung's.

"How about no. She isn't yours." Wooyoung taunted, throwing his head back with a laugh when Felix pounced straight onto San knocking him to the ground. Felix was relentless as he punched San. Wooyoung narrowed his eyes as he realised he underestimated Felix. Hyunjin could tell he was panicking as he slowly started to back away with Y/N still in his grasp. Hyunjin crouched slightly waiting for Wooyoung to relax his hold so he could pull Y/N back. He wanted to grab her without hurting her too much but knew there might be some damage.

"Little wolf." Hyunjin called, giving her a soft look before he grabbed her the bottom of her coat trying to drag her foreword when Wooyoung had pulled her back by the neck, causing Y/N to help. Hyunjin pushed forward and hit the side of Wooyoung's face causing the alpha to throw the omega to the side. As soon as Y/N hit the concrete floor she took a quick glance to see Felix pushing San's head to the side when she heard a snap. Felix had killed San.

[writersdrug]

Please continue to write literally anything for konig, I’m having the worst work week of my life and your fics always sustain me! I just finished chapter 13 and I almost cried because I realised I’d have to wait for more to come out 😔 this isn’t really a request or question just encouragement!!!

I don't have much queued up for König besides I Don't Need You, but here are some headcannons I have!! Also I'm sorry your work week was bad, let König cheer you up

NSFW at the end

We all know he would love to go on rants bout knives, guns, history, etc. But I also imagine that if you tried to chime in with your own, semi-relatable topic he'd glare at you and say "I wasn't finished," before continuing on his schpeel. He's not trying to be mean, he just has to tell you about Richard the third and how he definitely killed the two princes in the tower.

If you ask if the two of you can get a cat, he comes home the next day with one - but he didn't go to the pet store, or a shelter. He went to the restaraunt you always drag him to and waited by the dumpster with a can of tuna. Caught the scruffy thing and brought it to you, tucked under an arm with a big smile on his face.

He had to help you bathe the spitting kitten, poor baby was covered in fleas.

This man unironically adores the bucket of chicken you can get from KFC. Just a pail of chicken all for himself.

If you're out shopping or really anywhere where you take the lead, people are always asking if you're ok - "That man looks like he's following you," they whisper, "do you need me to get someone to walk you out?"

It's just König, standing behind you in a balaclava, hands in his pockets and dark clothing. Just 👁👁

Goes for an hour-long run at 4 am every morning, comes home to shower, then crawls back in bed with you to sleep until you have to go to work.

His phone screen is probably gross. Lock screen is you, doing your makeup and wearing a stunning dress for date night, unaware of König lurking in the doorway for a photo; background is the poster for Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

This man is known as a terror among door salesmen. They're just trying to get him to buy their services for cleaning gutters and he's dragging them to the backyard to show them how he cleans it himself, talking to them for an hour about how you don't need to hire someone to do "simple work"

He plays D&D with other veterans every Thursday night - you both usually host at your house, and he gives you an appreciative smile/pat when you come through with more drinks.

(Based on a tiktok) he once came in through the back door, standing in the dining room awkwardly as he watched you sort through the mail. He stared at you with a blank expression, until you finally looked back at him. "What's wrong, baby?"

He then slapped a lizard on the table, making you scream and throw a pile of mail at the thing as it scurried across the wood. He laughed for a good thirty minutes.

When he's sick, he tries to get away with downing a shot of Everclear and moving on with his day. "Alcohol kills bacteria, no?" (You'll have none of that nonsense, and he's not complaining when you dote on him and hand-feed him soup.)

If you're in the shower, he's in the shower. Doesn't matter if he had one an hour ago.

If you have a child, he loves to gaslight them (especially in their elementary years). Agrees to play Princess with them, but then proceeds to say that he's the Princess.

"I'm always the Princess!"

"Nein, you said I could be this time!"

"No I didn't!"

"Well I'm the Princess, so I make the rules."

Believes eating your pussy will make you feel better in any situation (sometimes it does). Bad day at work? He's kneeling in front of you and telling you to flip your skirt up. Cramps? Orgasms are the best remedy, schatz. Your tomatoes aren't growing well this year? Ah, shucks. Let him eat you out.

Anyways this is bleh but hope this helps!!

[penkura]

last forever [8/13]

Summary: Zoro only offered to marry you to keep you out of an arranged marriage with a man much older than you. You agreed with the caveat of ending it via annulment once you received word from your parents regarding the original engagement, despite your growing feelings for your close friend.

Pairing: Zoro x Fem!reader, mentioned Sanami later (like epilogue later so chill)

Warnings: Marriage of Convenience, Fake Marriage, referenced sex (waaaaaay later on), mutual pining, Zoro is bad at feelings but what's new there, eventual romance I promise, mention of past attempted assault (I'll warn in that chapter), creepy older dude later on

Note: This is my personal favorite chapter I've written. That's all I have to say lol.

Taglist:

@misfits1a

[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2] ● [Ch. 3] ● [Ch. 4] ● [Ch. 5] ● [Ch. 6] ● [Ch. 7]

“Hey, Sanji. Do me a favor.”

Sanji's nearly unconscious as Zoro speaks to him, his favor loud and clear before the blond passes out, leaving the swordsman to face Bartholomew Kuma alone.

You thought Zoro was going to die, you had convinced yourself he wasn't going to wake up. You'd stayed by his side, praying, ever since Sanji and Chopper brought Zoro back into Moria's mansion to treat his wounds and let him rest. Sanji won't tell you a word of what happened, no matter how much you beg him to.

“Mosshe– Zoro wouldn't want you to know. I doubt he wants anyone to know. Least of all you and Luffy.”

Whatever Sanji meant, you don't know, and right now you don't even care about what had Zoro knocked out the last little while.

Finally he was awake, it felt longer than it really was, three (agonizing) days, he had freakish healing like Luffy did, of course. But seeing he's awake, you can't help it, you throw yourself at him saying his name over and over like a mantra as you cry. Of course it freaks him out a bit, once he bites back a heavy groan from the pain you've just inflicted on him with your tight hug, it takes Zoro a moment to register you hugging him before he's able to do anything about it.

And he returns your hug slightly. Loosely wrapping his arms around you, one around your shoulders, the other barely touching your waist, an attempt at comforting you while you cry.

Damn it, he's tried so hard to push your feelings away, get you to stop looking at him like he was your world, but now Zoro realizes he's only stoked the flames by doing so, only made your feelings stronger without meaning to.

But, maybe he doesn't mind. He'd seek you out each morning, mostly asking if you'd gotten anything from your parents about your little sham marriage, but he'd also ask you to train with him if you weren't busy, and even be the one to go into town with you whenever the Sunny docked for a day or two. You never asked, you just knew he was coming with you so you waited for him, waited until he was by your side and then you'd smile and lead Zoro into the town to shop for whatever your heart desired (and your wallet could afford). In the time he'd started doing that, Zoro noticed different things about you.

The way you laughed with store clerks as they told you about an item you were looking at, your eyes would sparkle with every new find, how you'd hold onto his wrist to make sure he didn't get lost, you staying beside him when he'd nap on Sunny, you making sure he had enough water during his workouts.

How you'll help anyone on the ship with anything they need. You'll bring Nami the supplies she needs to make maps, help Usopp and Luffy fish for dinner, wash the dishes after dinner despite Sanji telling you he'd do it. You've been learning from Chopper how to treat wounds, you'll sit with Robin and listen to her tell you about history, you've even started helping Franky with his projects and helping to perform maintenance on Sunny if needed.

Then with him. With Zoro you're content to sit quietly while he naps, or watch him while he trains, never expecting a conversation. You willingly bring him whatever he needs, whether it's water or sake, you fix his shirts if they get torn, you even stay up when he has night watch and share drinks with him. He never thought someone would want to spend all their time with him or that he'd accept someone being so close to him, what had changed that made him actually want company during times he'd normally want to rest and be alone?

You. Damn, it was you.

You whose inner demons would infiltrate your dreams, causing you to slip into his bed for comfort, stability, as he slept soundly which gave you peace to do the same, a silent promise after the first time of yes, I’ll keep you safe. You who he had saved from drowning more times than Luffy and Chopper combined. You who made him feel like he was on fire with the slightest touch, even a brush of your fingers against his at dinner. You who had stitched him up multiple times, the first one turning into a jagged scar that if asked he'd say was his favorite. You who cared enough to stay sober in bars to drag him back to the hotel or the ship when you knew he needed to stop and rest.

You who would tell him every detail about the books you were reading, the ones you'd purchased or borrowed from Robin. The one time you told him the main love interest of a romance novel reminded you of him, making his face burn red out of embarrassment before he told you not to say such things, especially in front of the others (mostly Sanji).

Even after telling you in Alabasta that nothing was going to happen, you two weren't going to become a couple, he wasn't here to play romance with you or anyone else. Even after all that, you still stuck to his side almost like glue and didn't let it change anything.

Even with your argument after Robin joined, nothing much changed between the two of you. If anything, Zoro felt more drawn to you than anything or anyone else. He wanted to spend more time with just you and him. What a change from just a few months ago, he just realized.

Even once you kissed him and he returned it in Water Seven, you attempted to apologize soon after, before he stopped you. There had been nothing to apologize for, not from you anyway. If he'd thought about it at the time, Zoro would have apologized for not giving you a proper response then. For making you go to bed alone that night.

Damn it all.

What has happened to him? Ever since your sham marriage began something has been creeping into his mind every time he looks at you and remembers "Oh yeah I'm married to her" that makes him want to pull you away from everyone and damn it, he wants to kiss you again. There's another feeling of wanting, needing to protect you, despite how strong you are in your own right. Everything about this is weird, yet somehow comforting as well. Who put this spell on him, who made him have feelings like this? Are you secretly a witch on top of a swordswoman?

"Zoro…?"

Zoro breaks out of his thoughts when you speak his name again, this time as a question, your voice shaking as you hold him tighter, trying your best not to hurt him again.

"I…” your voice shakes again, and you hide your face in the crook of his neck, briefly wondering if this was the smart thing to do, before the words fall out of your mouth, “I love you…"

He pulls you closer, just a bit, your whispered confession only loud enough for him to hear. He doesn't have a response, not right now, but you're fine with that. You'd accepted long ago he may never love you back, but you had to tell him. He had to know.

After nearly losing him, you had to get these feelings out.

So when he ever so quietly thanks you, pressing the softest kiss to your temple, it makes you cry even more. You feel there's a chance, however small it may be, that Roronoa Zoro may come to have feelings for you one day.

Chopper returns a moment later, not wanting to pull you two apart, but he's so happy to see Zoro's alive and awake that even he cries a little, before checking the swordsman's wounds as you release yourself from him, Zoro allowing you to continue holding his hand for comfort.

Not only for you, but for him as well.

“I probably won't make it out of this…so take care of her for me, got it?”

+!+

"I told Zoro I love him."

It becomes so quiet you can hear a pin drop after that. Nami had asked why you were so spaced out that day, she and Robin now both so surprised at your confession. Nami's jaw drops and Robin has a small smile, before they look at each other with one thought in mind.

Impromptu girl's night.

"I'm getting extra blankets and pillows!"

"I'll ask Sanji for some wine and snacks."

Once everything is together and all the pillows and blankets are spread on the floor, you have glasses of wine and small snacks, Nami demands to hear every detail and you tell her and Robin everything about your love confession.

"He…he thanked me and kissed me–"

"On the lips again?!"

You laugh and shake your head, taking a small sip of your wine. "No, just on my temple this time."

Nami squeaks a bit, Robin laughing lightly at her reaction and the longing look on your face. As soon as she joined she'd seen the love you held for Zoro on your face, anytime you spoke of him or someone else did, your eyes would light up and your cheeks would burn pink.

You were deeply in love with him, even though he showed no romantic feelings for you. Robin had given you a romance novel once specifically due to the fact the love interest even reminded her of Zoro, which you quickly agreed with and finished the book in nearly three days which surprised her.

Nami, knowing you and Zoro were married, wanted you two together from the start. Every time you told her something that made you fall more and more in love with him, she'd giggle alongside you which always got a strange look from Usopp and Luffy, who thought you were both insane. She'd push you two together so often, that when Zoro started following you off the ship she thought it was a good sign, since she didn't have to bribe him with reducing his debt or anything. He just went on his own.

"That's such a great sign!" Nami throws her arms around you in a hug, making you laugh while Robin nods. "He's starting to fall for you! Finally!"

"I wouldn't go that far, Nami."

"I would! After all these months, you guys could be a real couple!"

"Nami, let's calm down a bit," Robin smiles and puts a hand on your shoulder, "She and Zoro will need to talk things out eventually, but let's see if anything changes since she's confessed her love to him."

Sighing loudly, Nami nods but still holds onto you, seeing a strange look on your face. She's not sure if it's one of concern or what, but it makes her hug you a little tighter.

"I'm sure he loves you, maybe deep down right now, but, he's gonna tell you one day."

You smile a bit with a slight nod, hugging Nami back. You believe her, you really do. Even if it takes a while for Zoro to say anything back to you, it doesn't matter. You'll wait as long as it takes and not give up.

For Zoro, you'll wait a lifetime.

+!+

You're crawling into Zoro's bed a few nights later. Your nightmares had turned from your neglectful parents to losing him at Thriller Bark, waking you with tears and sobs that Robin tried to help you through, calming you down enough for you to tell her you were going to slip into his bed like you'd done every time before. She simply nodded and let you go, promising to tell Nami nothing about it, you didn't want her worrying.

Zoro's fast asleep, as always, as you quietly sneak into the boy's bunks and step over Luffy who had fallen out of his hammock. You hear him mumble something about meat in his sleep while Usopp snores and Chopper sleeps happily beside him, but you pay no mind to it. You feel lucky Franky's in his workshop, Sanji's still busy in the kitchen, and Brook is out on the deck playing his violin. None of them should cause you any problems this time, but does it matter if they do?

Your thoughts are entirely on Zoro and making sure he's okay. He's still injured, but you have to be certain nothing is wrong.

You quickly and quietly slip into his hammock once you reach it, wrapping your arms around him and burying your face in his back, hearing a slight groan from him due to his wounds still not being fully healed. You feel bad waking him, even as he turns around and throws one of his arms over you, looking at you as if asking what was wrong, even though he thought he knew. It's been a while since you've last done this, your nightmare must have been particularly awful for you to return to this habit he'd thought you'd stopped.

"You okay?" His brows are furrowed while he wipes a few of your tears away. He's never seen you this upset after a nightmare before.

You try to speak but all that comes out is a whimper and a quiet sob, making you grip his shirt tighter as you shake your head. You can't tell him, you can't get the words out that it was a nightmare about him dying after he’s told you numerous times he wasn’t dying until he became the world’s greatest swordsman. He came so close to death at Thriller Bark that you were just terrified deep down about it becoming reality.

Instead of inquiring further, Zoro just nods, pulling you closer in an effort to calm you down.

"You're safe here. Nothing's gonna get you while I'm around."

You feel the quickest of kisses on your forehead before Zoro tucks your head under his chin, closing his eyes to sleep again, and it's all so strange to you. You've not had time to sit and talk since you told him you love him, but he's treated you slightly differently lately. Still going into town with you, training with you, but now sitting beside you at every meal which pissed off Sanji at times, purposefully leaning against you while he napped as you read a book.

He let you hold his hand the other day in town, even stopping at a small café with you for lunch and refusing to let you pay for your own meal despite his own money problems.

Zoro may not be in love with you yet, but you can tell he definitely cares for you in how he treats you. He saw through your façade of acting like all was well while you were still nursing the pain from your parents treating you like property and trying to sell you off to someone nearly twice your age just for money, the pain your brother tried his hardest to lighten before he helped you run away. He'd noticed from the moment he met you that there was something you were keeping from him and when he got it out of you one night, he said he'd keep you from having to go back. That was why he married you, you had more to give and do than be someone's third bride, he'd help you achieve it himself.

"Thank you, Zoro."

He's still awake, but once you finally fall asleep, he opens his eyes and watches you, finally peaceful. He feels bad he doesn't have a true response to you yet, he’s still working things out in his own mind and heart. Telling you once before that he held no romantic feelings for you, but now realizing that his thoughts have changed, it’s hard to work through that without letting anyone know. He doesn't want to get your hopes up just to tell you he doesn't feel the same in the end.

But, Zoro thinks that maybe, maybe staying married to you won't be so bad. Maybe, once he works out his feelings, he'll try to properly court you, give you a relationship you deserve, he'll protect you from anything and anyone else.

And then, one day, you could revisit this being a married couple thing, maybe actually live as husband and wife.

+!+

There's a slight bit of teasing the next morning from Franky. He'd finally gone to bed at one point and was surprised you had snuck into Zoro's hammock, the swordsman having an arm around you as you both slept. Granted he's seen how close you two are, especially after the fiasco of Thriller Bark, but didn't think you were that close.

He's also surprised by none of the others, apart from Brook, saying anything about it either. Was this normal for the two of you, to share a bed like that? If it was, why didn't Zoro just join you in the women's bunks? Surely your bed was more comfortable than his hammock.

Your face feels like it’s burning all through breakfast, the same as when Sanji first caught you in Zoro's hammock and made a fuss about it. Zoro just sets a glare at Franky anytime he says something about you two getting cozy with a grin that tells him your shipwright is getting the wrong idea. You two hadn't done anything, you slept like the other times, there's no reason for this teasing.

Zoro eventually has enough and slams his hand on the table, frightening most of your crewmates, standing up and continuing to glare at Franky.

"Would you just shut up about it? She had a nightmare and came to me for help, that's all. Come on, let's go."

Luckily you're done with breakfast when Zoro tells you to go with him, nodding and doing so as you hear Sanji and Nami reprimand Franky, who's now wondering why Zoro, of all people, got so angry about a little bit of teasing.

"I don't get what the big deal is," Franky leans back in his seat, ignoring how Nami is still looking like she's going to smack him, "So what if they're together? Not like it's against the rules or anything."

"Except they aren't together." Sanji responds before Nami can, and all it does is make Franky question the situation even more. He's trying to diffuse the situation, making sure your arrangement with Zoro doesn't get out before you either annul or Zoro decides to stay with you.

Luffy nods, before saying "They're married though, but don't tell anyone else!"

"Luffy!!" Nami doesn't even wait to smack him over the head, making your captain whine and ask what that was for. "That's not our secret to tell!"

"Well they're gonna get an annulment thingy anyway, so why does it matter??"

"Wait what, what the hell?"

“I didn't know Zoro and [Y/N] were married!” Chopper sounds beyond excited, while Brook laughs.

“Yohoho, what a surprise!”

Franky and Brook try to question Luffy and Nami about the whole thing, while Robin smiles to herself.

She's heard you and Sanji talking about your marriage to Zoro every now and then, and knew most of the details already, but knowing your feelings for him, she’s sure it’s only a matter of time before you two actually became a couple.

Though, she’s also fairly certain that if you heard your marriage had been revealed, you'd crawl in a hole and die while Zoro would seriously consider throwing Luffy overboard, before saving him in the end.

+!+

"I don't think Franky was trying to be rude about it."

"He was being obnoxious is the point, [Y/N]."

Nodding in agreement, you keep your eyes on your book once Zoro comes back from showering after his morning workout. He'd gone straight to the crow's nest after leaving the kitchen, you running to get a book and joining him once you'd picked one out. You've been sitting there ever since, having small conversations with Zoro while he worked out, eventually leaving long enough to take a shower before coming back to you in the same spot. He didn't want to talk about the morning's events anymore, but you felt like you had to say something no matter how obnoxious Franky was about the whole situation.

Zoro sits beside you, and you barely glance over a few times, wondering if now was a good time to talk about your confession and what's next for the two of you, before he speaks first.

"Anything from your parents?"

Ah yes, that makes sense. He hasn't asked yet today, that's what was missing from this day.

Shaking your head, you close your book and lean back to stare up at the ceiling. "Not a word. Makes me think they forgot they had a daughter."

"We're three days out from having to divorce, right? So there's probably no chance of them responding in time."

You're not sure if you hear annoyance or concern in Zoro's voice, but again you nod.

You don't know how to voice that you don't want to annul or divorce, that your confession to him after he woke up at Thriller Bark wasn't a heat of the moment thing or simply crewmate concern. You really are in love with him, that was a fact you've come to know over the last few months but were only able to voice recently.

Why do feelings have to be so complicated?

"You meant what you said, after I woke up?"

He's very quiet, you almost miss him speaking, but your breath catches in your throat, and its all you can do to just nod, a small 'yes' coming out of your mouth.

Zoro's not at all surprised as he nods, trying to plan his next words carefully. He's not ready to say the same love confession to you, but he might be willing to try. Try a relationship with you and keep you safe, whether your parents ever reply to you or not. He's willing to give the two of you a shot.

It's strange, how just six months ago you were in tears to him about the arranged marriage and he quickly offered to marry you and keep you from going home, from leaving him. At first, he tried to convince himself it was because you were useful, you worked well with him when taking down bounty targets. You knew how to use a sword and could perform recon work on your targets, all of that was more than what he needed in a bounty hunting partner, when he'd never thought of having one before. Not until he met you in that dinky little bar when you were running away from home, nearly passing out when you ran into him because you'd had a fever and he kept you from hitting the ground. He lost a couple days of work taking care of you, a complete and total stranger, that you were so grateful to him you offered to help and he only let you do so after you sparred with him. You lost obviously, but Zoro was impressed enough to let you follow him if you wanted to.

The year and a half you had traveled and worked together was enough, he knew it when he told you he'd marry you. You didn't know it, still don't to this day, and Zoro would likely take the truth to the grave with him, but at this point he knew it.

He knew he had feelings for you, it was just telling you. That's the difficult part right now.

You'd said your side of it, Zoro just needed the right place and time to return your words.

"I want–"

There's shouting from down on the deck that snaps you both out of your little world you're in, and you sit up to look out the window, seeing what looked like a large fish tail and Sanji freaking out over something. You wonder what's going on, before looking at Zoro, who looks less than thrilled you two were interrupted.

"Something's going on! Let's go see!"

He doesn't fight or grumble while you grab his wrist and pull him up, there's nothing he can do about it now.

Maybe tomorrow I guess.

+!+

“What’s with the bird?”

You don’t even have the chance to untie the letter from your parents before Zoro asks, you just smile before petting your family’s carrier bird on her head, giving her a few scratches as she perches on your shoulder.

“My parents are wealthy, so they have their own carrier birds. We’ve had Chisa here since I was little, she brings me mail and letters all over, wherever I am she’ll find me.”

“Seriously? All of that just to flex their cash?” Zoro rolls his eyes when you nod with a small giggle, opening the latest letter you’d been sent by your parents.

Every one so far had been a demand to return home and “fulfill your duty” of marrying the man they’d chosen for you. It was ridiculous, you’ve let Zoro see a few of them, even though every letter says the exact same thing. The only one that had been different was a letter exclusively from Elias, telling you about his marriage because he knew you’d be happy for him.

You start to follow after Zoro as he attempts to lead you back to the town you’re staying at, not even sure why you’re reading the letter that’s most likely just their demands for you to come back, until you catch a new line in the letter that makes you stop in your tracks.

The second he hears your breathing pick up, Zoro stops and looks over his shoulder at you, eyes widening just a bit when he sees your shoulders shaking and it almost seems like you’re about to have a panic attack.

“Hey, hey, calm down,” he’s almost instantly in front of you with his hands on your shoulders, Zoro knows he isn’t good at this stuff, but he’s got to get you to calm down, “What’s wrong? What’s in the letter?”

“I…I’m eighteen.”

“Yeah…? So what about—”

“Shit, shit, they’re gonna,” Zoro can barely keep you from hitting the ground while you crouch down, still holding the letter but putting your hands on your head to try and calm yourself down, “They’re gonna find me and force me to marry him.”

Zoro takes the letter from you while you start crying over your fears of being forced back home, reading the letter himself to see there’s some caveat in the agreement between your parents and alleged fiancé, where you’d be legally married soon after turning eighteen whether you had a wedding or not. Scowling, Zoro starts to rip to letter up, watching you fist your hair and close your eyes tight. Whatever you went through while dealing with this arranged marriage situation, it’s left a bad impression on you, he’d be surprised if you ever chose to get married one day because of it.

After a few minutes, Zoro helps you back up, holding your shoulders again, before trying to speak to you.

“What—"

“I can’t go back, I can’t!” Finally looking up at him again, you’re still in tears and griping his shirt so tightly, almost desperate for some way out of this arrangement, some way to keep from being found and dragged back there. “I won’t go back, Zoro, please, help me!! I can’t marry that man!”

What is he supposed to do? There’s very little chance your parents haven’t sent people out to find you, or sent your name and picture across government facilities that honor small village traditions, no matter how dark or outdated they may be. He doesn’t know what to do, this is so foreign to him! How is he supposed to keep you from marrying someone?

“I’ll marry you then.”

“W-What??” This isn’t what you expected for help, not even in the slightest. You don’t even think Zoro knew he was going to say that, or planned to, it seems like it just came out with no rhyme or reason.

But, it would fix the problem. If you married someone else, your parents couldn’t rightfully force you to marry someone else, whether they had chosen the person or not.

“I…” You shake your head, not wanting Zoro to feel like he has to do something, it’s not his job. All you’ve done is follow him the last year and a half, he’s not supposed to be your protector or anything like that, just a friend that let you go with him so you didn’t have to go back home, back to what you’ve fled. “We can’t! I mean, we aren’t—"

“If I marry you, will that keep them from forcing you home?!”

“I…I think so?”

Nodding, Zoro takes your hand off his shirt, watching you for any signs of rejection or if you want to say anything else. There’s something in his eyes, you don’t know what it is, you probably never will. But he holds your hand so tightly, keeping you from pulling away before he says it again.

“Marry me, [Y/N].”

For a moment, you don’t respond, wondering if Zoro’s screwing with you or not. But that’s not like him. You’ve only known him for about eighteen months, but you know that he would never joke around about something like this. He might be a little closed off still, but he would never play with someone’s feelings this way.

After another minute or so, you nod.

“I’ll marry you, Zoro.”

+!+

You’ve not thought about how Zoro offered to marry you in quite a while, the memory waking you up from a dead sleep in the village you’ve been in the last eighteen months. After receiving Luffy’s message about when to meet your crew again, you ended up staying in a village that excelled in training swordswomen, working your hardest every day and improving to the point very few of the other women even tried to spar with you.

Now I can’t sleep.

Sighing, you get up from your bed and go to the balcony in your little apartment you’ve been granted use of. Remembering the proposal that’s put you in this situation still, where you’ve been legally married for two years, have told Zoro--who was supposed to be your temporary husband--that you’re in love with him, and it seems like he might be starting to feel something similar towards you. It’s still all so strange, but it makes you smile while you watch the stars for a few minutes, silent prayers for your crew’s continued safety, and hopes that you and Zoro can make things work out.

“Happy anniversary, Zoro.”

+!+

You’ll be surprised to hear, one day in the future, that Zoro had the same dream about his impromptu proposal around the same time you did. He even realizes that it would’ve been your second anniversary at the time, give or take a few days, Mihawk doesn’t have a calendar or bother to keep him and the ghost girl up to date on what’s going on outside the island.

The dream isn’t enough to wake him the way it does you, but it does linger in his mind the rest of the day, even as he trains. It gets to the point that Mihawk stops him, asking what on earth could be distracting the twenty-one-year-old so badly that he’s making beginner’s mistakes, and Zoro decides to tell him, just to get it out there. Maybe that will help him clear his mind.

“Just… thinking about my wife.”

This earns a raised brow from Mihawk and a shout from Perona.

“A wife?”

“You’re married and never told us?!”

“You aren’t my crew!”

Perona sticks her tongue out at him, demanding answers about you and your marriage, questions Zoro refused to answer right now, before Mihawk interrupts them.

“I care not that you’re married. You can think about your wife later, focus on training now.”

Though Zoro knows Mihawk is right, he should be focusing on his training, thoughts of you and your strange marriage don’t leave his mind, despite his nodding.

“Right.”

I’ll talk to you soon then…[Y/N].

[mochinomnoms]

The Private (not) Thoughts of a Moray

Gender Neutral Reader x Jade Leech

Synopsis: In theory, telepathy is a great power that can help the person understand the other better, learn dark secrets, or just be a little nosey. In your case, though, theory doesn’t always reflect reality. Slowly turning your head to the source of the (tremendously) loud thought, you saw the infamous Vice Housewarden of Octavinelle, Jade Leech. A polite, yet inscrutable smile on his face, Jade’s thoughts betrayed his nonchalant facade. Aaaaaaaah! I’m sitting in front of Y/N! I just wanna turn around and stare. Aaaaah! Little pearl, your voice is so cute, talk some more! Y/N’s class introduction…their voice was… really cute. Their moans are probably really cute too. Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit how the hell do I turn this off??? Loosely based on “Mousou Telepathy”

a03 link

spotify playlist

fanart: @nefe-kav (1/2/3/4/5/6)

[cw] – sexual humor and innuendos

[tags] – fluff, sexual humor, slightly aged-up characters, slow burn, mutual pining, more tags to follow

Edited 2/19/2024: added accompanying playlist and added all chapters with their titles

Chapter List:

chapter 1: I wonder if you look both ways (when you cross my mind)

chapter 2: I love you means you're never, ever, ever getting rid of me!

chapter 3: They say it’s gotten out of hand, and I’m obsessed with you

chapter 4: This thing called love, I just can’t handle it

chapter 5: I wanna go on walks with you, I wanna have long talks with you

chapter 6: I'm feeling blessed by a curse

chapter 7: No matter what they say, You'll never meet another me [PENDING]

chapter 8: Baby, you're like lightning in a bottle

chapter 9: Bhfuilis soranna sorcha, Ach tagais 'nós na hoíche

chapter 10: Before the dawn has come, I'd block the sun (If you want it done)

chapter 11: Son of Nyx (and thoughts of a moray)

chapter 12: Perfection is so quick to bore

chapter 13: My heart, I never be, I never see, I never know

chapter 14: You were steerin' my heart like a wheel in your hands (Turn back, darling)

chapter 15: I can hear your thoughts light a melody

[innorogers]

Lucid

Steve Rogers x Dark Past Reader (You)

Summary: Steve finds out about your past. You're nothing as he thought you were. You are better.

Warning: Steve struggling / Past revelations / You don't have to read this: Chapter 1 - Insomnia, but it would enhance the experience if you did.

What do you do the night you meet the love of your life? You spend it with to him—talking, hugging, kissing, teetering on the edge of going further... but it doesn’t matter, because one day, you won’t recall the specifics. Years from now, future you will think back to this night and remember only the magic you felt, the moments your heart skipped a beat, and the wonder of it all.

In the present, as the first rays of sunlight rise from the east and touch your face, you can barely keep your eyes open, almost drifting off against Steve’s shoulder. Once he finds out you’ve just come off a 13-hour shift, he insists on walking you to your dorm. And though it seems to take every ounce of his willpower, he refuses your unspoken invitation to stay. Ever the gentleman.

After a shift that handed you five hours of overtime, you managed to get immediate compensation—and even figured out how to maximize your sleep: you'll shower later.

So, after Steve kisses you goodbye for the sixth time, you finally close the door and collapse into your pillow. Though, to be honest, you’d rather be falling asleep on his chest.

Captain America, on the other hand, was more awake than ever. The last time he felt this energized was when they thawed him from his popsicle state. It was like walking in sunlight, and he half-expected some cheesy background music to play as he moved through the halls.

But, as always, fate was waiting in the corner to throw a punch and kick his perfectly peach shaped ass.

You were still on his mind when he stepped into the Level 0 – Avengers Only common room. You hadn’t left his thoughts since he said goodbye to you... thirty minutes ago.

To his surprise, Natasha was already there – she was never up before 11 – typing something into a computer - she was also never on top of her paperwork -.

“Oh wow, this is rare.” Steve was in a mood—no, actually, "mood" wasn’t the right word. He was still wonderstruck, wrapped up in his own bubble of happiness because of meeting you. 

“Haha, hilarious,” Natasha deadpanned without even glancing up. “Go ahead and laugh now, Rogers. One day, that ‘I’m from the 40s, I don’t know this shit’ lame excuse is not gonna to fly anymore, and you’ll actually have to do some of this.”

“Well... by then, hopefully our genius philanthropist will have invented something to take this torture off our hands,” Steve replied, handing her a cup of coffee.

Now he had her attention.

“Someone’s in a good mood…” She raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Alright, spill.”

“Oh no, not a chance,” Steve shook his head, grinning. “Not happening.”

But after a pause, he added, “Hey, we have full access to everyone’s records here, right?”

“Yeah, Level 0 clearance,” Natasha replied, still focused on her typing. “You’ve got everything on your phone. Why?”

Steve glanced at your name in his phone and tried to sound casual. “What do you know about an engineer?” He wasn’t entirely sure if that was your title—you had mentioned it, but he had only been paying attention to the important stuff (like your favorite ice cream, song, hobbies, and what you wanted to do this Saturday night…).

“You’ll need to be more specific. I need an ID or at least a last name.”

“Illithya Lancaster,” he said softly, almost smiling as your name left his lips.

“Oh yeah,” Natasha responded immediately, “the one that goes by ‘Twelve,’ right?”

That got Steve’s full attention. He sat up straight, frowning. “‘Twelve’? Is that a nickname?”

“Code Name 12. Subject ID HE0012.” Natasha continued typing as though she were battling something. “You know what that means.”

“No.” Steve’s voice turned rigid. “I don’t.”

The typing finally stopped, and Natasha swiveled around in her chair to face him. “H for Hydra, E for experiment, number 12. She was one of Hydra’s experiments, Steve.”

That was a bucket of ice water he hadn’t expected. Right to the spine. Steve took a few seconds to find his voice.

“What?”

“There.” Natasha handed him an iPad with all the information: “See, here she is. Um… mission rescue R804, Siberia… Sokovia… yeah, she’s on Hydra's top confidential list, one of the few we’ve got. Stark moved mountains to save her from rotting in a federal prison for eternity.” She spoke quickly as she read, her voice unusually soft, full of compassion.

Steve paused for a moment, trying to recall if you’d mentioned anything about a nickname last night, but he didn’t think you had.

He could barely think. His voice, distant and faint, whispered: “‘Twelve’? What… happened to the other eleven?”

Swiping the iPad, Natasha didn’t even look up, just shrugged: “What do you think?” She didn’t notice Steve’s face go pale instantly. 

“Illithya was the only survivor, barely. Used and discarded as anything Hydra could imagine… like something disposable.” 

She sighed. “I’ve seen awful things, but this is one of the files I try to forget.”

Steve’s mind was in turmoil. He couldn’t think, and the pain in his chest seemed to crush every fiber of his being.

He couldn’t believe it. You, his treasured little secret, his enchanted, magical midsummer night, this beautiful, pure soulmate he’d fallen with—the one who told him a fairy would bring him all the stars—had been used, abused, treated like a guinea pig, nothing more than a lab rat?

He was beginning to understand the emotions rising within every cell of his body: a mix of uncontrollable anger, sadness, and fear.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, his voice wavered slightly: “...How… how long was she experimented on?”

Natasha set the file aside and looked him straight in the eye. There was empathy there. She knew Steve was shaken, so she softened her voice as much as she could, though her words remained honest.

“‘Till we got her? A lifetime. She was born and raised in captivity. Her entire existence was based on an experiment.”

Steve closed his eyes. It was more than he could bear. The pain he felt intensified with every word Nat spoke. 

He clenched his fists, veins bulging with rage. How could they. 

“How did you rescue her?” He found himself asking in a calm voice, as if inquiring about any other case.

“We didn’t. She escaped, and we found her. After you and Tony split in Siberia.” Nat pulled up the file again on the tablet and handed it to him, but Steve didn’t look. He wasn’t ready.

“So, until she got away…” Steve heard his voice, sounding unnervingly emotionless, and he hated it. “Was she under Hydra’s control her entire life?”

Black Widow didn’t respond at first. She nodded, just barely, while watching him. She was using the spy stare, reading everything beneath the surface, interpreting every unspoken word, every pause, every silence was a puzzle piece for her to figure out the entire picture.

“A lifetime under Hydra…” Steve whispered.

And he felt awful for saying it.

But there it was, a poisoned seed growing in the shadows of his mind. Steve wanted to bury it deep, but he couldn’t stop. 

The doubt crept in, spreading like a toxin—the thought that everything you’d been through had changed you.

How could you ever purge Hydra’s venom from your veins? Was it still there, lurking in every dormant cell, slowly expanding like a plague, consuming all the good, the magic, the purity in you? Corrupting you?

“Stop,” Natasha suddenly said.

She gave him a look Steve recognized—she was about to ask something that would make him think, really think.

After a deep breath, she spoke: “If you’re asking about her, it’s because you’ve met her, right? So, what do you think? Did she seem like a…villain? Or was she different? Special, maybe?”

Steve leaned back into the chair at her words, the memory of you filling his mind again, your innocence, your weird yet adorable responses, your naivety, your smile…You.

The touch of your hand, the softness of your voice, the pureness of your soul. The way you’d clung to him, spoke to him, trusted him, kissed him. He exhaled slowly, a ghost smile on his face. 

“No. I never thought of her as a villain. Or as any…negative. She was different, more than different. She was…she is…incredible…she’s wonderful…she’s…” Perfect.

Natasha remained in silence. Staring at him. Then she leaned up, her words like splashed ripples on the spring's surface. “Why do you trust Barnes, Steve?”

Her tone was calm and serene, yet it made Steve clench his fists. The question was unexpected, but not unanticipated—he knew she’d ask; she always pushed when she had that look.

“He was, or is, more Hydra than anyone we’ve ever rescued from those hellholes, yet you risked everything to save him.”

“That’s different. I know Bucky, he’s all I have left of my past. And he was brainwashed.” You weren’t. You acted, and you act by choice… don’t you? Steve panicked at the thought. Everything you did, you did with your heart… right? Everything that happened last night, was true…Right?

“So if she wasn’t brainwashed, she’s guilty?” A slight ironic smile tugged at Nat’s lips. “Even though she never asked to be born into a Hydra experiment, or to live in captivity. Is she at fault, Steve? For not trying hard enough to escape?”

Steve froze at her words, realizing what she was getting at. You weren’t brainwashed, no, much worse, you’d grown up knowing nothing of life outside Hydra. You weren’t just a victim. No. He thought of you. You were a survivor. A fighter.

“That sounded a bit protective.” Steve looked at his fellow Avenger, studying her expression. “Was it just a rescue mission, Nat? You don’t usually…attach to people.”

Letting out a laugh, Natasha returned to her usual mysterious, lazy smile. “I’ll let you find out for yourself.” 

She hesitated but finally spoke under Steve’s gaze: “She’s… different, Steve.”

A slight, warm smile crossed Black Widow’s face. 

“She’s kind…and good. I don’t know how to explain it, but she’s innocent. Her heart… it’s pure.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at Nat’s words. He could hear the awe in her voice, and it made him think of you: The way you’d looked at him, the sparkle in your eyes. Tiny butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he remembered the way you’d laughed and how they took flight when he kissed you.

Without even realizing it, his voice became as tender as it could be: “Yes. She is all those things.”

“Like I said.” Natasha leaned back in her chair, her fingers returning to the keyboard. “I’ll let you find out for yourself.”

LAB 278—it had taken some time to find.

Steve silently thanked Jarvis for lighting the way as he stepped into your lab—your private, secluded lab, hidden almost a 20-minute walk from the central facilities. Steve hadn’t even known this place existed on campus.

He pushed open the door and saw you through the thick glass. He couldn’t help but marvel as he took in the entire space. Your lab looked like a greenhouse, with plants everywhere—on the desk, under the tables, on the floor, shelves, and windows. Long curtains of leaves hung down from the ceiling like rain falling through broken glass. 

Large screens dominated the room, and then Steve’s eyes widened at what he saw next. 

An armory. Their. Armory. 

A bow being analyzed by lasers, prototypes of metal gauntlets, shattered helmets, and torn suits.

And then, he saw you.

You were cleaning his shield.

Everything fell into silence when his gaze rested on you. The whole place became a quiet green ocean, so still that Steve could almost hear the plants breathing. And his own heartbeat. That stopped when you lifted the shield and gently kissed it.

“Do a good job,” he heard you whisper to it. “Protect him. Keep him safe.”

Steve snapped out of it as those words echoed in his mind. He had a hundred questions, but they vanished in that instant. He wasn’t even thinking—he was reacting—as he stepped forward and opened the door.

The look on your face when you heard the noise and turned around was indescribable. All the tension in your expression softened, and the light in your eyes brightened. 

Steve wondered, how he’d been so blind, so stupid, to believe some reports instead of trusting…you.

“Oh. Hi…” You smiled, joy sparkling in every corner of the room.

God, that smile. The happiness in your eyes at seeing him weakened his knees. He spoke, his voice softer than he’d expected. 

“Hey...”

You almost run to him under instinc. Wanting to move closer, to take his hands, but…you weren’t sure. Was it too much? Too fast? What are you (or this) supposed to be? Are you even dating? Will he hate it? So, you blushed and stood still. “I…I um… I’m so glad you’re here.”

Steve noticed the way you flinched, the way you wanted to reach out but held yourself back. It made him feel…sad, like something was cracking in his chest. He wanted to reach out and take your hand. But he didn’t—not yet. 

Instead, he stepped closer, his voice gentle as he smiled. “…And I’m very glad to be here.”

“Oh.” You weren’t sure if it was the lack of sleep or if you were just lost in his eyes, but your mind was racing, and you couldn’t stop yourself from blurting out something dumb, like really dumb.

“I missed you.”

Oh, what the hell. You wanted to bite your tongue. Especially when you saw Steve freeze. Okay, that was stupid as fuck, you thought, looking down, unsure of what to say next.

“I’ll take it back, I’m sorry, that was stu—” But before you could finish, you were pulled into a tight embrace.

Steve pulled you towards him, wrapping his arms around you in a tight, protective hold. As if he wanted you to melt within him.

He realized how absurd he had been for holding this back, how deeply he craved you. Like a primal longing, like a dying plant thirsting for a drop of dew, or desperate for air.

“Please…don’t be.” He whispered, pressing your head to his shoulder, inhaling the scent of your hair, his eyes closed as he sighed. “I missed you too.”

“Oh.” You awkwardly ran your hands along his back, fumbling at first, before simply giving in and hugging him tighter. You caressed his neck until he rested his forehead against yours, exhaling deeply.

And you smiled. 

“So…you did find out, huh?”

He stood silently, with his chin in your shoulder. And after a while he said in a bitter tone: “How’d you know?”

“‘Cause you look exactly like Tony and Natasha did when they found out. And… because you’re in my lab. I mean, I don’t think this place is a hot spot, huh?” You laughed and broke the hug slightly, but he tightened his grip on your waist, unwilling to let you pull away. 

You caressed his face, inhaling the warmth of his breath, and looked into his eyes. 

"Steve, what happened to me isn’t a burden for you to carry, you know that, right?”

Steve froze. 

Isn’t it? 

Wasn’t it because he hadn’t destroyed Hydra when he had the chance?

Because they didn’t find out sooner?

Because… he wasn’t there?

You struggled to read people, especially someone you cared about, so when you saw the pale, stiff look on his face, you paralyzed.

Was that why he came? To tell you it was over? Well…to be honest, you wouldn’t blame him. After all… you were you, and he was… Steve Rogers. And you were…Hydra’s Frankenstein.

That thought must have shown on your face, because Steve noticed the change in your expression—fear and shame, like you were some kind of Quasimodo who had his mask ripped off.

The mere thought made Steve’s blood boil—the idea that he might reject you because of your past, as if you were to blame for things you couldn’t control. As you were…sinful and…bad.

He suddenly cupped your face and spoke firmly, the words echoing from his heart, the same words he should have said the moment Natasha told him the truth.

“Hey, hey… look at me. Look at me.” He stared straight into your eyes. "Don’t doubt me. Don’t doubt… us.” His voice was filled with protectiveness and anger. “I’m here, and I…” I’m falling for you.

“Do you regret it?” Your voice trembled. “Last night… do you regret… meeting me?”

“No.” His voice was steady and resilient, unwavering and unshakable: “Not in a million lifetimes.”

You held your breath for a moment, trying not to cry. Then spoke as you were telling a secret. 

“I always wondered…What would I have been like if I were… normal? If I had normal parents—a father working in a bank, a mom as a teacher. I’d go to school, go to prom, fall in love… have friends… but…” 

You pressed your fingers into his hand and smiled softly.

“… I wouldn’t change anything about my past, if that was the road I had to take, that leaded me…to finally meet you.”

Steve felt like he could’ve started crying at any moment. 

Your past had left a crack in his heart, something he could never fix, something that would always hurt. And yet, you said it was all worth it? All the suffering, all the pain… just to meet him? How could he… how could he deserve you? He couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, couldn’t even breathe.

“God…” he murmured, his voice filled with pain. “How can you say that… how can you still be so…” 

Kind. Good. Pure.

Natasha was damn right. You were everything she said, and more.

“Hmmm… Maybe…” You thought out loud. "Maybe I always knew I’d meet you someday, and I had to be good enough… to be… worthy.”

Steve exhaled, trying to calm the storm in his heart and mind. 

The weight of your words hit him hard. He paused for a moment before he pulled you against him, his arms wrapping around you tightly, as if that could protect you from all the misfortune or pain that might come in the years ahead.

“Damn it…”

His voice broke as he whispered.

“I can’t believe I found you…”

“Well then,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. 

“Thank you for finding me.”

Time stilled for a moment, but before he could think, Steve’s body had already reacted, he pinned you against the workbench as his hand weaved through your hair, and his lips pressed yours in a deep kiss. 

He couldn’t hold back anymore, he needed you, wanted you, to hold you as close as possible, without letting you go ever again.

All the composure he had been trying to maintain disappeared the moment he felt you. 

Your lips, your tongue, your scent… Any sense of reason was hanging by a thread. 

He lifted you onto the desk, sending pens and books scattering to the floor, but he didn’t give a damn. Not when your legs wrapped around his hips and you moaned his name as his hand tightened around your waist.

“Jesus…”

The way your voice sounded, the way you were looking at him, the way you were sitting with your legs around him, everything was driving him desperately crazy, struggling to keep control to not to tear your clothes off and make you his right there. 

He broke the kiss before doing something reckless, but his body was tense, and his breathing panting. 

“You’re driving me crazy…” He breathes heavily, leaving a deep kiss in your forehead.

“What?” Your mind was still spinning from his kiss, and you replied without thinking: “Well yeah, welcome to the club.” 

Steve left out a laugh, All the intense revelations from earlier had nearly made him forget just how incredible your comebacks were. 

He looks down and kisses you again, this time with more tenderness than passion, and he speaks as he continues. 

“I’ve been thinking about this since I left you this morning…”

“Can you…” You could barely form a word without moaning: “Can you think…of taking this further?”

“…” 

That made him stopped. 

The suggestion sent a shiver down his spine. Oh you and your amazing comebacks. His mind suddenly flashed, imagining all the things he’d wanted to do to you, maybe in his room, in the bed, with you under him, moaning his name as you just did, only louder and louder…

Steve quickly shook the thought from his mind, trying to force himself back to reality. 

“God… please don’t tempt me.” He could feel his body reacting to his own imagination, so he pressed his forehead against yours, clenching his fists, trying to regain some control.

“I…” You wanted to say, "I don’t mind," or even, 'I don’t give a damn if you take me right now...You know what, there’s actually a bed at the back of this lab.' But then his phone rang.

“What the hell…” He glanced at the caller ID and groaned, “For gods sake, what timing…” One hand reached for the phone while the other held you firmly. “I’m sorry, babe, give me a sec.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of him calling you that for the first time, but before you could process it, Tony Stark’s voice echoed through the empty lab.

“I don’t know what you are doing there, Cap…And trust me, I don’t wanna know…but Jarvis just sent me a reminder, to remind you, that there are cameras everywhere in the working campus. Everywhere.” 

You could tell there was a humorous tone in Iron man’s voice.

“Even in remotely located labs for top secret employees.”

End but TBC-

Continue to:

3: Reverie |

4: Nightmare |

5: Awakening |

6: Dusk |

7: Hypnagogia |

8: Lull |

9: Vigil |

10: Eclipse |

Alright, thanks for reading up to here. Hope you enjoyed it!! <3

So when I started writing Part 1, I was like, 'Oh, let's just write cute one-shots and short stuff.' And here I am with a complex OC and a struggling Steve. I'm so sorry for that :3 I just can't help myself!

Part 3 comes with 'the one night I made you mine and made you beg' thing I was hoping I'd finally get to. I promise! (Still have no idea how I'm writing that through my working shifts, tho.)

Okay, have a good one <3 Lmk if you liked it ? Report and everything is highly appreciated <3 :D

Love.,

Moon.

[scary-grace]

Enough to Go By (Chapter 13) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

Your best friend vanished on the same night his family was murdered, and even though the world forgot about him, you never did. When a chance encounter brings you back into contact with Shimura Tenko, you'll do anything to make sure you don't lose him again. Keep his secrets? Sure. Aid the League of Villains? Of course. Sacrifice everything? You would - but as the battle between the League of Villains and hero society unfolds, it becomes clear that everything is far more than you or anyone else imagined it would be. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Chapter 13

“I can’t believe this.” Tomura’s not happy, and he’s not shy about sharing it. “We’re not hostages. Take the fucking hoods off.”

“Don’t complain. It makes you sound like a child.” The voice of the Hassaikai member walking behind you sounds familiar, but you can’t quite grasp where you’ve heard it before. “Trust is earned. And you haven’t earned it.”

“It’s hard to earn trust without an opportunity to be trustworthy,” you say, as diplomatically as you can manage. You’re not thrilled about the hood over your head, either, mainly because you’re worried that it’ll take your veil with it when they try to take it off. “As for childishness – I’m not sure if you were the one who picked up the phone when Tomura changed the meeting date, but whoever it was threw a pretty impressive fit.”

Whoever’s walking behind Tomura decides to wade into things. “That was a subordinate, not the head of our organization.”

“Were they over twenty?”

Silence falls, other than the sound of your footsteps through what you’re fairly sure is a tunnel of some kind. You’ve been walking for a while, and the silence stretches, then stretches again. “We’re getting off the subject,” the Hassaikai member says, and Tomura snorts. “Careful. The door.”

You shift to one side to avoid the doorframe and bump into Tomura. Your hands brush, and Tomura’s little finger links briefly with yours, squeezing tight before letting go. It reassures you. You don’t know what you’re doing here. You shouldn’t be here – you’re quirkless, you’re not a villain, you’ve done nothing to earn a place in the negotiation between the League of Villains and the Shie Hassaikai. But Tomura wants you here. That would be all that matters, except Overhaul wants you here, too.

The hoods come off once you’re through the door, and you barely manage to grasp the hem of your veil in time to keep it over your face. With the hoods gone, you can see that you’re in a small, windowless room, standing behind a couch. Facing you, seated on another couch, is Overhaul. You were too panicked to really take the measure of him when you met in the warehouse. Now you have a close look, and what you see is – weird.

His eyebrows are thin and arched, almost plucked. The clothes he’s wearing are distinctive. The green combat jacket with purple faux fur around the collar was an intentional choice, which means his fashion sense is bizarre. He’s wearing thin white gloves on both hands, and like you are with any quirked person, you’re wary. You might have some idea what he’s capable of, but you don’t know for sure. All you know is that you’ve got no way to protect yourself from him. If he decides he wants you dead, you’re dead. You have to be careful.

But you’re not alone here. Tomura’s with you – and because Tomura’s himself, he doesn’t have to worry about careful. “Do you give this kind of welcome to all your allies? Or are you just pissed that we didn’t come running the first time you snapped your fingers?”

“This isn’t a social call, it’s a business meeting. I’m always careful when I conduct business.” Overhaul is talking to Tomura, but he’s looking at you. “Saintess, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Have a seat, both of you.” Overhaul stays silent as the two of you situate yourself, only speaking once you’re both settled. “I’m glad to see that you’re prepared to move past the – unpleasantness of our first meeting.”

“Move past it, sure. Forget it, no.” Tomura props his feet up on the coffee table between the couches. “One of your minions died. You destroyed Compress’s arm, and we lost Magne because of you. Those aren’t equal losses. If we’re going to move past it, we need something from you.”

“The Hassaikai will pay the cost of a prosthetic for Compress,” Overhaul says. “Unfortunately, nothing more can be done for Magne. I understand that Tartarus will be his final destination.”

“Hers,” you correct without thinking.

“Unless he talks,” Overhaul continues, like you didn’t speak. “I imagine that if he shares what he knows about your so-called organization, he could get himself moved to medium security instead.”

“She,” Tomura snaps. His fists are clenched on his thighs, his knuckles white. “She won’t talk, and even if she did, it would be because of you.”

“She attacked first.” Overhaul’s mocking Tomura, mocking you – mocking Magne, who’s not here to defend herself. “If you had better control over your gang of lunatics, then –”

“We’re getting off the subject,” you say, and Tomura and Overhaul both look at you. “What’s done is done. We’re here to discuss the future of your organization and Tomura’s, aren’t we? What did you have in mind?”

Overhaul tilts his head, studying you. It’s quiet for a moment – quiet, until Tomura snaps. “What are you looking at her for? Stop looking at her. I didn’t bring her for you to stare at.”

“Why do you think I asked you to bring her?” Overhaul doesn’t wait for Tomura to answer, and he doesn’t answer his own question, either. “Saintess was correct at our first meeting to look for an alignment of our goals. Your diagnosis of the problem as heroes, however, is incomplete. The root of the problem is the existence of quirks themselves.”

“Quirks,” Tomura repeats after a second. “That’s a new one.”

“It sounds radical to you as a person with a quirk. This is why I asked you to bring Saintess with you,” Overhaul says. “As a quirkless individual, I’m sure she can explain exactly what quirks have done to warp society from its natural order.”

Your stomach lurches. “What makes you think I’m quirkless?”

“If you were any use, Shigaraki would have used you already.” Overhaul shrugs. “If you had a quirk that could have influenced the outcome of the League’s previous engagements, you would have featured prominently in them, and if you had any value, you would already have been captured. Shigaraki has a nasty habit of giving his most valuable pieces away.”

You knew you didn’t like Overhaul, and it’s not like you haven’t heard anyone say things like that about you before, but hearing them said in front of Tomura is something else. It’s a good thing you’re behind a veil. Your face is heating up in shame. “But it’s your presence at Shigaraki’s right hand that convinced me we could work together,” Overhaul says. “A leader who can see value beyond quirks is a leader with whom I can find common ground. So let’s discuss my plans, and where you might fit into them.”

“Let’s start with this.” Tomura extracts the quirk-erasing bullet – the copy of the quirk-erasing bullet that Twice made – from his pocket and holds it up. “After Compress was shot with this, he couldn’t use his quirk for a while. What is this thing, and where did you get it?”

Tomura knows both answers, courtesy of you and Kazuo, which gives him the chance to test Overhaul’s honesty. “We manufacture those in-house,” Overhaul says. “Right now we lack the facilities to mass-produce them, so we’re in short supply. I’ll take that back –”

“Nope.” Tomura grasps the bullet with all five fingers and Decays it. Twice’s creations Decay like anything else, if Tomura does it fast enough. “If you throw away your toys, you don’t get them back. How are you producing them?”

Kazuo texted you some extra information after he ran his query, sharing that there’s human DNA inside each bullet. Overhaul’s silent for a moment, and Tomura pushes the point. “Earlier you said it was a manufacturing issue, but this thing was – what? A bullet casing and a needle? I’m guessing your real problem is not having enough of what’s inside it.”

“And?”

“And that seems like a flaw,” Tomura says. “It’s nice to have a plan. Not so nice if you can’t execute it.”

“Currently our production of the deleter rounds is restricted to one facility. Our production of Trigger, however, is widespread,” Overhaul says. “My plan requires both components. Once it’s executed, control of quirks will pass from the hands of individuals into the hands of those who control the supply of both compounds.”

Tomura nods. “I get the picture.”

It sounds like he doesn’t. He sounds like he used to in school, when he was writing his letters upside down or trying to put a puzzle piece somewhere it didn’t fit. Overhaul doesn’t buy it. “Why don’t you have Saintess explain what a world where quirks can be permanently erased would look like?”

He’s getting off on this. He must be. That’s the only reason you can think of why he’d force you to rub Tomura’s face in just how useless you are. “It wouldn’t be a return to the pre-quirk status quo,” you start, “because without mass distribution of the deleter substance, quirks themselves would still exist. But the category of quirkless would cease to be a static one.”

“And why would that be a good thing?”

You wish he wouldn’t prompt you. You were getting to it. “Quirklessness is stigmatized heavily. The downfall in privilege from quirked to quirkless would be colossal, for nobody more so than for heroes. The constant threat of quirklessness would change how heroes approach their work. It would make them more cautious, more self-protective.”

“Less heroic,” Tomura says. “I get it.”

“The threat of ending up like her will handicap them, and they’ll never be able to avoid the risk,” Overhaul says. “That’s the kind of reset I’m talking about. Now, in order to accomplish my goals, I’ll need some members of your organization to join mine.”

“Why?” Tomura asks suspiciously. “What do you want with them?”

“My organization is short on infiltrators. We’re tilted towards combat or interrogative types,” Overhaul says. “Twice, Toga, and Kurogiri. That’s who I need. You can keep the rest.”

“We don’t have freedom of movement right now. I’m not handing over Kurogiri,” Tomura says shortly. “Twice and Toga you can have, on a temporary basis.”

“I’ll have them until I’m done with them.”

“If you take them temporarily, what do I get in exchange?”

“I imagine you’re short on funds,” Overhaul says. “We’ll provide a place for you to stay as well as money for food and support items – and the prosthetic for Compress, as discussed. Hmm, and –”

He looks at you. “That injury to your hand hasn’t healed yet. I’ll fix it.”

“No.” Tomura was sitting with his feet on the table until a second ago, but he rockets to standing at once. “Touch her and I’ll kill you.”

“You don’t trust me? We’re supposed to be allies.”

“After what happened the last time you touched one of my friends? Damn right I don’t trust you.” Tomura has one arm thrown out, blocking you even though Overhaul hasn’t made a move. “You aren’t touching her. Back off.”

“I’m just trying to help.” Overhaul spreads his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “Call it a peace offering.”

You don’t want Overhaul touching you. You don’t want Overhaul coming anywhere near you. But Tomura’s outsize reaction looks bad. It looks like he doesn’t trust Overhaul, which he doesn’t, and it looks like he’s about to fly off the handle at any second, which he isn’t – and it makes you look important, which you aren’t. There’s only one solution you can see. You get to your feet. “It’s a peace offering,” you say, adopting Overhaul’s term. “I’m not against help when it’s offered.”

You step around Tomura’s outstretched arm, closing the distance between yourself and Overhaul. When you unwrap your bandaged hand, he regards it with clear distaste – but at the same time, he’s peeling off one of his gloves. “These are shallow. They should be healed already, given that you had the same bandage five days ago.”

“It’s on my hand. It’s hard to keep a scab on something I use all the time.” You hold out your hand when Overhaul beckons, wondering if you’re about to die. He could bring you back if he kills you, but he probably wouldn’t if Tomura lost control badly enough. And you can’t count on Tomura’s self-control in a situation like this, when he’s already pissed, already on edge. “Are you sure you want to do this? I won’t be mad if you changed your mind.”

“How forgiving. As expected of a Saintess.” Overhaul’s voice is sardonic. You really wish the League had picked a name for you that was a little less of a joke. “Here.”

His fingers brush the back of your hand, and your skin crawls – but that’s it. When you look down at your hand, you can see that the marks left by Tomura’s nails have smoothed over into a faint scar. A scar that vanishes completely a moment later. Overhaul yanks his glove back over his hand. “Why don’t you go show your boss that his suspicions were unfounded?”

You step back around the coffee table until you’re next to Tomura, and you hold up your hand for him to inspect. You can tell by what little of his expression is visible around the hand that he’s seething. He looks past you, to Overhaul. “Are we done here?”

“Not quite. Why don’t you stay for a game?” Overhaul gestures, and one of his masked minions sets a board and game pieces down on the coffee table. “Do you play shogi?”

“No,” Tomura says, in the same tone as he’d say “fuck you”. “You might have time for board games, but we have important things to do.”

“I wasn’t asking you.” Overhaul is looking at you – again. “Have a seat, Shigaraki. Saintess and I will show you how it’s done.”

You do know how to play, but you don’t play very well – a lifetime of letting your younger siblings win so they won’t hammer you with their quirks has left you uniquely unprepared to play someone who knows what they’re doing. But in some ways, this is exactly the kind of situation you always wound up in at home. Somebody more powerful than you is using the threat of their quirk to push you around. The only difference is that Overhaul is about fifty times as powerful as your siblings. And that when you were playing with them, you never had to worry about keeping your supervillain boyfriend calm at the same time.

Overhaul is lecturing Tomura about how shogi works. You focus on your opening moves. You really don’t want to get your ass kicked in front of your best friend, particularly not after he’s just spent the last half an hour listening to Overhaul remind him how useless you are. At the same time, though, you think you should probably let Overhaul win. You need to leave him thinking he’s got the upper hand over Tomura. It’s a delicate balance, and with your self-esteem basically in tatters, you’re not sure how good you’ll be at keeping it.

Even if Tomura doesn’t know how to play, he’s still on your team, as evidenced by the fac that he interrupts Overhaul every time Overhaul’s about to move a piece. He starts by needling Overhaul about exactly what’s inside the bullets, then moves on to asking about the quirk makeup of Overhaul’s inner circle, arguing that since Overhaul’s helping himself to members of the League, Tomura should have information about Overhaul’s underlings in case he wants to borrow one. Tomura’s interruptions give Overhaul time to rethink his moves, and because you’re playing what you’ve come to think of as the please-don’t-hurt-me strategy rather than trying to win outright, he doesn’t seem to know how to respond. You manage to promote one of your pieces and capture two of his before he finally quits responding to Tomura’s hassling.

Overhaul’s using the game as a personality test. He’s said as much, which makes the fact that he chose to play against you instead of Tomura especially weird. Does he like you or something? You’re pretty sure that’s not it – he’s never seen your face, and even if he could, you’re not anything special. Trying to figure out why Tomura keeps you around would make more sense, but you feel like he’d have to be socially unaware to the max to fail to guess that you and Tomura are involved. So what is it? For the first time in conjunction with dealing with the League, you wish one of your friends was here – Mitsuko, whose quirk lets her read people’s intentions towards one another. She’d be able to tell you what’s going on in Overhaul’s head. She’d also be able to tell you what’s going on in Tomura’s.

Overhaul never quite catches onto your strategy, such as it is, which means you win your first game of shogi ever against a yakuza boss who clearly thinks pretty highly of his own skills. You’re hoping he’ll let you leave now, but before he can put the board away, Tomura nudges you aside and takes your place across the board from Overhaul. “I want to play, too.”

Tomura versus Overhaul is a mess of a game, with pieces flying every which way at high speed. Tomura pressures Overhaul by playing fast, barely considering his moves before he makes them, and while Overhaul grasps Tomura’s strategy eventually, it takes just a little too long to give him the decisive victory he was probably hoping for. Tomura doesn’t seem particularly upset at losing. “Thanks for the lesson,” he says to Overhaul, getting to his feet and stretching widely. One of Overhaul’s minions narrowly avoids getting smacked in the face by his hand and scurries out of range in a hurry. “Are we going to have to do this again?”

“Not unless our strategy changes drastically.”

“Great.” Tomura turns to you. “Let’s go.”

They don’t blindfold you this time. You try to keep track of the various twists and turns, just to have something to do, but you can’t focus. Your veil may be in place, but with every step you take away from Overhaul, your mask slips a little further.

You grew up being picked on for being quirkless. Mercilessly picked on at home, less so at school, because you didn’t do anything so stupid as wanting to be a hero. You would have been targeted if you’d made waves, so you didn’t, staying under the radar and out of the way, even once you had friends like Kazuo and Hirono and Ryuhei who were willing and able to stand up for you. And maybe you forgot a bit, because it doesn’t matter at your job and the League doesn’t care. But what Overhaul said isn’t some aberration – it’s how the world really sees you. Useless. Worthless. If you were of any value as Tomura’s game piece, you’d already have been taken off the board.

“Hey,” Tomura says, and you look up just in time to realize that you’re stepping through the door of Overhaul’s stronghold. It’s dark out, and it’s cold, and Kurogiri’s waiting for you. But instead of stepping through the warp gate, Tomura addresses Kurogiri. “Take us to the place. Wait fifteen minutes and come back to get us.”

“Yes, Shigaraki Tomura.”

A different warp gate opens. Tomura takes your hand, three fingers wrapped loosely around your wrist, and pulls you through it. You don’t have a clue where you’re headed, and you’re still confused when you emerge from the other side of the warp gate and get your bearings. It’s still dark, and it’s also cold – a lot colder than it was outside of Overhaul’s stronghold. Tenko draws his coat tighter around himself. “Fuck, it’s freezing.”

You can make out shapes in the darkness, but nothing that tells you what you’re actually looking at. “Where are we?”

“I used to come here sometimes. When I was a kid.” Tenko looks up at the sky. It was clear at Overhaul’s, but here it’s cloudy, a heavy bank blotting out the stars. “Sensei didn’t like when I went places. Kurogiri convinced him somehow. Probably told him I’d scratch all the skin off my face if I couldn’t go outside sometimes. I don’t know.”

Tenko sets off over the uneven ground, his hand still around your wrist. At one point he crouches, then comes back up with a camping lantern, which he switches on and holds up, revealing that you’re in the ruins of a big building. No, not a building. “Is this a plane?”

“It crashed a few years before All Might debuted,” Tenko says. “Officially an accident, but most of the internet thinks it was sabotaged. The pilots kept this thing in the air for thirty-eight minutes after the hydraulics failed.”

“What about –” you struggle to phrase it in a way that won’t get you in trouble. “What about heroes? If it was in the air for thirty-eight minutes, then somebody –”

“You think anybody would square up to a crashing jumbo jet? They let it fall.” Tenko scoffs. “Didn’t come looking to help until it was too late. Five hundred people on this flight, and four made it. That’s it.”

You’re in a graveyard. Your skin crawls. “And they just left it here?”

“I guess. And I guess if Sensei thought he had to let me outside, it might as well be somewhere I wouldn’t forget what I was supposed to be.”

“That’s messed up,” you say before you can stop yourself. Tenko lets go of your wrist, but only so he can take the hand down off his face and tuck it into his pocket. “It is, Tenko. It’s messed up that he –”

“Back there. With Overhaul.” Tenko cuts you off, and your stomach lurches. “Is that what they’re all like?”

You were hoping he wouldn’t bring that up. Praying, maybe. “No,” you say. Your voice isn’t wavering. It’s just the wind. “He wasn’t that bad. It’s fine.”

“If that doesn’t count as bad, what does?”

Things your siblings said, things your classmates said once you got old enough for it to matter – things patients said, back when you were dumb enough to think that letting them know you were quirkless would make the other quirkless ones feel better. “Nothing. It’s not that bad. He was picking on your judgment more than he was picking on me.”

“He was going after you. I had to sit there and watch you tie yourself in a knot trying not to piss him off –” Tenko breaks off in a snarl. “He backed us so far into a corner that you had to let him touch you to get out! You want to talk about fucked up? That’s fucked up! Don’t –”

“It’s fine –”

“Don’t tell me it’s fine!” Tenko’s voice is loud enough to echo, loud enough to startle you. “I know you. Even when you’re hiding behind that thing. You think I don’t know when somebody hurts you?”

“I’m not hurt,” you say. Your voice isn’t wavering. You’re just laughing at how absurd of a thing that is to say. “You think somebody like him can hurt me?”

“Yes.” Tenko catches the hem of your veil and flips it back, baring your face.

It takes all your self-control not to cover your face with both hands. You’re crying. It’s stupid. You’re twenty years old and you’re crying like somebody’s pulled your hair on the playground. You’ve been crying on and off since you turned your back on Overhaul, trusting the veil and years of practice keeping quiet to hide you, only you’re with the one person who’s never fallen for that. Tenko stares at you in the light of the camping lantern, and you stare back, your eyes blurring as you fight to keep your mouth from turning down at the corners. You wish he’d look away. It makes it so much harder that he can see you.

“Don’t look,” you say, hating how your voice shakes, and Tenko grabs you one-handed and pulls you in against his chest.

There’s a clang as he sets the camping lantern down, and then his other arm comes up around you, hands clenched into fists on your shoulder blade and your hip. He’s holding onto you tightly, tight enough that you’d have a hard time escaping if you wanted to. But you don’t want to. You’ll take what you can get, even knowing you don’t belong, even knowing that you’re always going to be –

“You aren’t useless.” Tenko’s voice is quiet, gentle. You remember it from when he was a kid. You didn’t know it was still there. “You can do all kinds of things. I need those things. The rest of the League needs those things, too. And they like you. Or else they wouldn’t have given you a name.”

Your stupid, shitty name. You want to laugh, but it doesn’t sound like laughter when it comes out. “And even if you couldn’t do any of the medic stuff,” Tenko says, “even if you couldn’t do anything at all to help, I’d still want you with me.”

“No, you wouldn’t have. You only sent Kurogiri to get me the first time because I’m a nurse –”

“I told him to get you before. A lot of times.” Tenko takes a deep breath, lets it go. “I should send that fucking hero a thank-you card. Kurogiri only listened that time because I was injured.”

He wanted to see you. That can’t be right. Can it? You grasp onto the least ridiculous part of what Tenko just said. “A thank-you card?”

“That’s faster to say than “a pipe bomb with a bow on it”.”

That might be the worst thing Tenko’s ever said in front of you. It’s also pretty funny at a time when you need something to laugh at. You try to smother your laughter in Tenko’s shoulder, and he hugs you closer. “I want you with me. You’re supposed to be with me. No matter what. Do you understand?”

“I don’t know,” you say. You think you might, though. Maybe. “I –”

“Come on.” Tenko sits down in one of the empty seats, pulls you into his lap, holding on when you try to squirm away. “Don’t worry. I only sit in the ones the survivors were in.”

That strikes you as unexpectedly sweet. It’s the kind of thing Tenko would have done even as a kid. At the same time – “You know we’re not done with the messed-up-ness of your Sensei sending you to play in a crashed plane, right?”

“It’s not that weird,” Tenko says. You raise your eyebrows. “Kids play in that park they built at Kamino, right?”

You hadn’t thought of it like that. Both places are places where a lot of people died. Both places have been swept under the rug, Kamino by putting up a shiny park over the ruins within two weeks of the disaster, this place by leaving it to rot out of sight and memory. Both places are the site of massive heroic failures. It’s not as different as you want it to be. “That’s messed up, too.”

Tenko snorts, rolls his eyes, but his arms are wrapping tighter around you. He presses his face into your shoulder, his voice muffled and indistinct. “I don’t need you to understand everything. I just need you here. Do you get it?”

“I get it,” you say. “I need to be here, too.”

Tenko’s nose is cold where it presses against your throat, but his chapped lips and his breath are warm. You’re shivering, and so is he. “If I’d known it was this cold, I’d have made Kurogiri bring us somewhere else.”

“Why did you have him bring us somewhere instead of back to my place?”

“I wanted to talk to you. Without them hearing.” Even in the faint light of the camping lantern, you see his face flush. “They hear enough already.”

You knew Dabi was going to say something. It sounds like he said more than one something. “He just needs to get laid.”

Tenko looks shocked for a moment. Then he bursts out laughing, the sound echoing through the ruins of the plane. You like his laughter, but it sounds wrong here. Kissing him feels wrong to do here, too, but it’s the only way you can think of to keep him quiet, and it’s easy to fall into, easy to forget. Easy to forget where you are, but what happened to put you here isn’t so easy to leave behind.

Tenko’s hands have been curled into fists the entire time. Now they loosen slightly, splaying across your shoulder, grasping your hip. His index fingers are lifted. “He fixed your hand,” he says after a while. “I know why he did it.”

“Don’t think about him,” you say. You know you don’t want to – but at the same time, you weren’t paying much attention past your own discomfort. Tenko might have seen something you didn’t. “Why?”

“Because he knows I couldn’t.” Tenko’s grip tightens. “He wants you.”

That’s not right. “I don’t think he wants me. I don’t know why anyone –”

You trail off. There are some things that are too pathetic to say out loud, even for you. Some things you shouldn’t say even in front of your best friend, your boyfriend. Not after he’s tried pretty hard to reassure you about your place in the League, your place with him. Tenko looks expectantly at you, waiting for you to finish your sentence. You shake your head. Tenko smiles halfway, crookedly, and says the last thing you’d expect him to say. “Of course he wants you,” he says. “Who wouldn’t?”

[hypnoneghoul]

Sundown: Chapter 13

WC: 1,7K

Relationship: SwissAlps

Tags: AU; Cowboy!Swiss x Barmaid!Mountain, Transfeminine Mountain, Blood, Injury, Flashbacks/Retrospection, Near Death Experience, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Fluff

“Funny! I doubt anyone would wanna put up with the little ol' me.” “You're not so bad,” Sunshine admits and pulls another chuckle out of Swiss with it. “Why, that is high praise indeed, dear sister!”

Playlist here. / Chapter 1 here or on AO3.

Read chapter 13 under the cut or on AO3.

“Swiss!” Mounty yells, throwing herself on her knees next to him, patting his cheeks and begging him to wake up. Rain and Dewdrop look at them with confusion and worry as Phantom jumps into action. “Swiss, stay with me, please, wake up!”

The medic is silent as they check his vitals. Mounty can’t take that, “Tommy, what’s wrong with him!?”

“Dunno yet,” they mumble. He’s breathing and his heart is still beating, but it’s weak. “It’s not his head, that’s just a scratch. Help me undress him.”

Mounty obliges, all but tearing Swiss’ bloodied clothes off of him. Now that she thinks about it, there was no way of knowing if at least some of all that blood was his own or not. Tears well up in her eyes, she can’t breathe; if she thought she was scared before, she’s paralyzed with fear now.

Phantom peels Swiss’ wet shirt away to reveal a deep laceration, nearly a stab wound, through half of his stomach. Mounty gasps and puts a hand against her mouth, now sobbing in earnest and shaking.

“Shit,” the medic mutters and similar expressions can be heard from Dewdrop and Rain, the latter turning to hide against the other’s neck as he holds him.

“Can you fix him?” Dewdrop asks, whispering. Mounty hears it anyway and looks up at Phantom with pleading eyes, needing to hear the answer; needing it to be a confident yes.

“That’s a lot of blood and it’s so deep, I don’t…I don't know,” they admit instead.

“Swiss! Don't be mean,” Sunshine pouts, but it’s obvious she can barely hold back her laugh.

“Sorry, sis, it's just a little silly to me!” Swiss, on the other hand, doesn’t even try to get rid of the bright grin on his face. “Why would you be planning it all now, you've never even had a boyfriend.”

“Because when it's time I want it to be perfect!” she exclaims. Her brother found her with a small journal, sketching something that turned out to be Sunshine’s dream wedding venue.

“You do realize any guy would have to pass my super secret and scary are-you-worthy-of-my-little-sister test first, right?” Swiss teases, though both of them know it’s not entirely a joke. He’ll be the last to ever let his little sister’s heart be broken by a man.

“Shut up!” the girl finally laughs fully. “You ain't gonna scare my future boyfriends, I want to have a husband before I'm eighty!”

“I absolutely will scare your future boyfriends and you might get a husband before you're eighty. If you pick the right guys, that is.”

“Idiot,” Sunshine grumbles under her breath, huffing and glancing back down at her notebook. “Don't you ever think about how you want your wedding to look like?”

“Eh, I don't know, Sunny,” Swiss sighs and sits down next to her with his legs crossed. “I don't think I'm a marriage kinda dude.”

His sister hums, “You'll change your mind when you find the right one.”

“Funny! I doubt anyone would wanna put up with the little ol' me.”

“You're not so bad,” Sunshine admits and pulls another chuckle out of Swiss with it. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and brings her closer. She squirms but giggles as he ruffles her already unruly hair.

“Why, that is high praise indeed, dear sister!” the man laughs. They’re quiet for a bit, when it dies down, both enjoying their little moment.

“But you would invite me,” Sunshine interrupts it after a while, “right?”

“What?”

“To your wedding?” she clarifies.

“I could consider it.”

“Swiss!” his sister wriggles out of his hold and playfully punches him in the chest.

“Oh, fine! Yes, I would invite you, and knowing you you'd somehow end up a bridesmaid.”

“Or a best…woman. I could be your best woman!” Sunshine cheers, clapping at her cleverness.

Swiss shakes his head but there’s so much fondness in it. “Sure, sure.” 

“‘Tis settled.” The girl nods with a face of a fancy businessman that has just made a billion dollar deal.

Swiss furrows his brows in somewhat of a challenging expression. “Only if you bring every man you wanna date for an interrogation with me beforehand.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

First thing that Swiss notices is how dry his mouth is. He breathes heavily through his nose and feels pain radiating from his middle as his chest rises. He’s slow to come to full realization of himself, each sense waking up and tuning in to his surroundings separately.

Finally, Swiss opens his eyes. They’re sticky and his vision is blurry, but he can see.

He can see his girl.

He clears his throat before rasping with his voice gravelly from unuse, “Hi, Momo.”

The vague shape of Mounty raises a hand and suddenly it’s on his cheek, slapping him across the face with all the barmaid’s might. The additional pain that blooms because of it makes him sober up in a second.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again!” Mounty scolds him; well deserved.

He's not dead, then.

“Not planning to,” he admits and lets out a chuckle that hurts him all over. “Ow…”

The next thing he knows it’s the barmaid’s lips on his own chapped ones as Mounty kisses the breath out of him. She doesn’t pull away for what feels like a small eternity and he couldn’t be more grateful. He can’t really grasp—and he doesn’t want to, anyway—the events of the previous day, but the relief of being there safe with his girl could still just about make him cry.

It indeed is a while before they really part and it’s only because they’re interrupted by Phantom accompanied by a man that looks familiar, but Swiss is sure is a stranger.

“I'm Aether, Phantom's brother,” he introduces himself and the feeling of familiarity suddenly makes sense. “The two of us patched you up. Literally, you’ve got a bunch of stitches in ya, so no moving around for now.”

“Ah, heard a lot about you,” Swiss grunts with a nod, indeed feeling the sore skin around his wound being pulled by the stitches, “And a simple thank you ain’t enough for saving me, but…well, thank you.”

“No worries,” Aether smiles kindly. He’s got the same cunning, yet kind, glint in his eyes that Phantom does and the cowboy thinks he’d like getting to know him. “I’m just glad I was here to help, you got Phantom scared shitless.”

“Yeah, you’re a fucking madman, you know that?” Phantom throws their arms up. They do look rather agitated, even though they had time to calm down since the initial incident. Apparently it’s been nearly twenty-four hours. “I have no idea how you’re alive right now, do you understand me, Swiss?”

“Sorry…” Swiss grumbles. He really does feel guilty, he was behaving like a feral animal and scared them all more than it was necessary. Not that he could’ve really helped it when Mounty was in danger, though.

“Okay, now, kid, give him a break,” Aether pats his sibling’s shoulder, “he’s got his punishment for scaring you all.”

Swiss nods and  Aether insists on leaving him and Mounty alone (after informing that the former should heal nicely provided he rests properly, and that the latter’s sprained ankle should be forgotten about in less than a week) and Phantom ultimately obliges, but not before cursing the cowboy’s madness once more. Everyone agrees that they do have a point.

Rain and Dewdrop pop in for a moment after them, bearing gifts in form of warm dinner and booze—apparently approved by Aether the doctor. They also curse Swiss’ madness before leaving, naturally.

Once they’re really alone again, Mounty heaves out a tired sigh and lays down with her head on Swiss’ chest. Neither of them falls asleep nor closes their eyes, but the minutes—or hours—they spend like that are the most restful either of them had in what feels like ages.

Mounty is the first to move again, of course. Swiss won’t admit it out loud—at least not seriously—but he’s in a lot of pain; his biggest wound isn’t the only one. She leans over him and pressed their lips together again—and the kiss gets more heated with every second; they both need the closeness.

The barmaid is gentle when she throws a leg over his lap and raises on her knees to straddle him. She descends slowly and carefully so as not to jostle the wounded man too much as she sits on the top of his thighs.

Swiss instinctively raises his arms to touch her but pauses, hanging his hands in the air between the two of them.

“In the barn, did you–” he mutters, but can’t bring himself to spit the question out fully as he stares at his hands. They're clean now, but the cowboy can't wipe the image of them all bloodied from his mind.

So much blood on his hands and yet the barmaid places her own delicate ones over his and brings them to her hips.

“I ain't seen nothing, cowboy,” Mounty tells him; calmly, softly—knowing what is going through his head, “all I know is that you saved me. You saved me, Swiss. Alright?”

He wishes it were so easy to overlook what he’s done, but for the time being it’s fine. He’s fine and so he nods and gives himself up to his girl in entirety once again.

Mounty takes her hands off of Swiss’ and reaches for his hat that’s resting on the windowsill. She puts it on her own head and the cowboy knows exactly what she’s trying to say. She brings her elegant fingers to the buttons of her shirt and starts popping them open. Swiss can't tear his eyes away from the growing bit of exposed skin as his cock begins to chub up in his pants.

“I'm gonna ride you tonight, cowboy,” Mounty whispers and finally opens her shirt to reveal her gorgeous tits, “and you're going to just lie still and take it like a champ. We don't want to pop your stitches, do we?”

“Boobies…” he sighs as he lets go of the barmaid’s hips to make grabby hands at Mounty’s chest, his mind cleared of everything but her tits now.

“Yeah, you're gonna watch ‘em bounce and forget about everything else, darling, aren't you?”

Swiss drools a little as he nods.

.

.

.

.

.

edit: about the cowboy hat thing

[maddiethedogstories]

Sarah's Playground - 8

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

I am shaking as the tone of my mom's phone ringing resonates over the receiver of Lidia's phone. Lidia is hovering over me, watching my every move, making sure I do exactly what I am told.

I don't have any idea what to do. For years, I'd been dreaming about getting out from under my mom's thumb. The freedom of moving across the country to go to college was so close. However, I could feel my dreams evaporating like the piss drying on my panties. What was I going to do?

There was no way I wasn't getting demoted out of this. If I tell the truth, I would be admitting I am an immature bedwetter and mom would take away my adult privileges. If I lie, Lidia would certainly narc me out to my mom, and the consequences of wetting the bed and lying would certainly be worse. I couldn't even blame Lidia and the alcohol for this. If mom found out that I was drinking, well, I knew that would be the worst situation.

So, when Mom answered the phone, I picked the best of my bad options.

"Hello, Lidia? Is everything ok?" I heard my mom's voice coming over the receiver.

"Um, hi Mom, it's not Lidia, it's Sarah," I said meekly.

"Sarah? Why are you calling me on Lidia's phone? What's wrong?" Mom asked with a tinge of concern in her voice.

"I'm okay, but, I, I have something I have to tell you," I continued hesitantly. Lidia continued to stand over me, listening closely to my conversation.

"What's wrong? You know you can tell me anything baby! I love you no matter what!" Mom said.

I smiled at her reassurance, but it didn't make my next statement any easier.

"Mom, mommy, I, uh, had a little accident last night, and I, uh, I wet the bed," I started to break down in tears from the shame and humiliation of admitting to doing something so childish to my mother. I deserved to be demoted. I could feel it in my soul.

"Really? You wet the bed? You haven't done that since you were 13!" Mom said, sounding surprisingly happy with this situation.

"Yes, it's been a long time," I said to Mom between my sobs, "I'm so sorry!"

"Oh, baby, don't be sad! All little girls have accidents sometimes! I'm not mad at you at all! But, your 18 now, so you must know what this means. Adults don't wet the bed. If you wet the bed, I can't, in good consciousness, keep treating you like an adult," Mom said, still sounding unsettlingly excited about the situation.

"Please, Mommy, it was just one accident! Can't we just ignore it? I am so close to getting to go to college. All of my plans? What will happen to them! Please don't make me a baby again!"

"Ssshhh, baby, it's okay. I'm not going to demote you all the way back to diapers. You know better than most that some big girls have a hard time keeping their pants dry at night too. You'll still get to go to school, just, probably not college for now. How does spending a little time back in adult grade school sound?" Mom said, trying to be reassuring.

"Grade school? Mom, please, don't do this, please!" I pleaded.

"Sorry, sweetie, I don't really have a choice. I'll email the Age Readjustment Agency after this call. From now until you earn the right to be treated as someone older, you will be treated like a 10-year-old," Mom announced.

"Mommy, please!!!" I begged, but mom cut me off.

"Sarah, I would stop and think about what you are doing right now. I have been kind and am letting you keep some big girl privileges. I have not reached out to the ARA yet. You will accept my decision, or you will end up back in preschool!"

That threat shut me up. I immediately closed my mouth and changed tacks.

"Ok, Mommy. Thank you for letting me be treated as a 10-year-old," I said, still sniffling.

"Good girl, now, please hand the phone back to Ms. Lidia. While she wasn't hired to be your babysitter this weekend, that's going to have to be her job now. Please be a good girl for her. If I hear about you putting a foot out of line for her, I might just have to reconsider how old you really are."

I swallowed nervously as I handed the phone back to Lidia who was grinning with a familiar predatory gleam in her eye. Lidia grabbed the phone and immediately turned on speakerphone so I could hear her conversation with my Mommy.

"Hello, ma'am, it's so unfortunate that little Sarah wet the bed last night! I thought she grew out of that years ago. I guess she just isn't as big a girl as we thought she was, huh?" Lidia said.

"Yes, it's so unfortunate!" Mom said, her tone a stark contrast to her words. "Thank goodness you're there though! I know I just hired you to come over and have a good time with Sarah this weekend, but, given the situation, would you mind switching back to babysitter mode until I get home? I'll pay you extra, of course," I heard my mom say.

"Of course! Sarah is always such a LITTLE angel to care for, babysitting her again is no problem. I have to ask though, how old of a little girl am I watching?" Lidia asked.

"She's 10, for now. We'll reassess based on how well behaved she is though," my mom responded, "I am going to need you to help me transition Sarah through her demotion though. Are you okay with that?"

"Of course, she won't be the first demotee I've babysat or the last, I'm sure. What do you need me to do?" Lidia asked.

"Well, I had a feeling something like this might happen, so I am prepared. If you go up to the attic, you'll find a number of boxes labeled with Sarah's name and various age ranges. I need you to grab all of Sarah's adult things--her cellphone, clothes, computer, ecetera--and pack them in the box labeled, 'Sarah - Adult.' Then I'll need you to grab the appropriate box for her now, bring it down and unpack it. Sarah should be willing to help you with that. If not, let me know and we can talk about further, um, readjustments," Mom explained.

My jaw went slack. I know I shouldn't be surprised that my crazy, overprotective Mommy would be prepared to demote me once I grew up. However, hearing just how prepared and organized she was was overwhelming. I suddenly had the sinking feeling in my stomach that, if my mom got her way, the last few days where I was treated like an adult would be my last.

"That sounds perfect, ma'am! I am sure that Sarah will LOVE to help in her readjustment. I'll let you know if their are any problems," Lidia said.

"Thank you, Lidia! You really are the best. What would I do without you? Please let me know if anything else comes up!" My Mom said.

"Of course! Enjoy your trip! Little Sarah is in good hands," Lidia made eye contact with me before hanging up the phone.

Once the phone was disconnected a broad smile crossed Lidia's face.

"It looks like I have my favorite little baby dollie back! This weekend is going to be great!" She said.

NEXT CHAPTER

[needlesandnilbogs]

writer asks! 13, 36, 81

ask game in question

13. talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you.

uhh... I have too much of a Complicated relationship with mirrorverse to totally call it pleasant, but it's nice that I've managed to stick with it and I'm still happy to write it most of the time, that should count?

really, a better answer might be the recent fic I published about mb going to the equivalent of the state fair, which popped mostly formed into my head, complete with both format and several lines already written, so it didn't feel like I was ever stuck on it! I liked that a lot lol

36. do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.

Sort of. I steal bits of outfits and personality from people I know for canon characters, but really the one-off OCs are more of real people. Two examples come to mind obviously: high school au mensah, who is very much my school's stage manager during my jr year, a senior who was like the epitome of coolness to me that year and remained enough of an inspiration to be a big part of HSAU Mensah, and Arden fairoak, a character I made up for a one-off mirrorverse thing who is now. not a one-off character. and also is very much based off my high school best friend.

the rest of the mirrorverse one-off OCs, excluding Arden's family who are all except for Bharadwaj named for local libraries, are named and loosely personality based off of historical figures or fictional characters, including: Caroline Bingley and Emma Woodhouse from Jane Austen books, Nikita Gill, Vikram Seth, Fabiola Cabeza de Baca Gilbert...

81. if you could go back in time and give your younger self a piece of writing advice specific to you, what would it be?

Okay, there's two answers to this. both apply to my past self in 7th-9th grade

Generically: Stop being embarrassed of your stuff, idiot. (Expanding slightly more on that, you're not going to be seen as stupid for writing fanfic and (tagging @kellumnights and @clustxr because they'll know who and what I mean and laugh) if kellum could literally do That Story and JdS could do Hot Day in Hotwrong about it, you could totally put your stuff in the writers guild magazine and not just rolls and role-players original flavor.)

extremely specifically, re a thing I started then which became my favorite original universe:

Dear Past!Prime!Bardic,

actually write down exploring frontiers, please. I want that stuff now and I want more than I put on paper.

relatedly, you did not need to write the whole boring story to introduce everyone before you wrote the fun chapter. but thank you (genuinely) for the seven paragraphs of auri lore that I needed in eleventh grade when I restarted it

you did not need to feel so embarrassed about Plory and Ara having A Thing. it was what you needed to write at the time.

stop naming characters after your irl cousins bc eventually they find it and mock you

don't name the main character after yourself. they might be a self insert but you'll make it ten times harder to share it when you're my age because then you have to check every snip and make sure you renamed [name] to Ampara every freaking place.

seriously. names. Ampara, not [name]. Danessa is good, keep that. Savfira is gonna become stupidly hard to get spellcheck to understand but it's fine. Zynnia's great. dump Ariya and find a better R name that still lets you use Rya as a nickname. Ladira, not Lady. also by the way you add a seventh house later.

love,

present!prime!Bardic (PS we change our name.)

[miskamix]

Young Love [chapter 1]

This is a chuuya x reader x dazai fanfic! yay>_<

Btw Y/N is afab Non-binary and uses They/them

Also Finnish Y/N 😼

I suck at writing fanfics but i'm trying best and if you wanna read the chapers i've made so far then they are on my wattpad:D

https://www.wattpad.com/user/Luka_LL

______________________________________________________________

~Y/N POV:~

Finally, after 13 long hours i'm finally in Japan to start my new life! it feels so good to finally get to start a new life away from my family and old friends or more like classmates since i can't think of any of them as friends anymore.

As i step out of the airport i sit down on a bench outside and call for a taxi to come and get me. as i wait for my taxi, i scroll through old pictures of me and my classmates, "..why can't i just be happy like i was back then..?" i mumble to myself.

after about 20 minutes the taxi comes and i go inside it.

"To (college name) please" i say in Japanese to the taxi driver and he starts driving.

while on the way i admirer the city of Yokohama.

"are you a foreigner?" the taxi driver asks me "ah, yes i am" i answer him "this is actually my first time traveling outside of Europa" i say.

"are you European?" the taxi driver asks me "yeah, i'm from Finland"(or whatever country your from) i answer him, and the driver only nods and keeps driving me.

When we get to the college i thank him and pay "bye have a good day!" the driver says before driving of.

"..i'm all on my own now.." i mumble to myself again as i start walking inside the building. while i walk to the principles office i see some people whispering to each other and i'm guessing they are talking about how i look so different from them, it wouldn't be the first time.

while in my thoughts i accidentally bump into someone "oh sorry.." i say, and hear the person huff "whatever" they say and walk way. 'what the fuck did i do' i think to myself. i watch as the ginger haired boy walks over to some other boy with brunet hair thats much taller then him 'that must be his friend or something' i think to myself again.

when i get to the principles office i knock on the door and wait.

"come in!" i hear a woman say from the inside.

"You must be Y/N! am i right?" she asks in a happy voice "uh.. yeah i am" i say back "you must be nervous" she says to me in a calm voice while i keep quiet "theres no need to worry, you'll fit in just fine" she says. 'yeah right, there were just some students back talking me, and i made someone mad, i'm defiantly gonna fit in' i think to myself "..okay.." i say

After she tells me about all of my classes she gives me the keys to my dorm "just know you're gonna have two room mates!" she says as i leave the room.

'Room number 567? that means its on the 5th floor..' i think to myself and start walking to the elevator.

theres a note on the elevator door that says 'out of order' 'great, just my lucky day' i think and start walking up the stairs.

once at the top i start panting a lot "jeez.. that was harder then i thought.." i say to myself.

"543.. 544.. 545.." i look at all of the doors trying to find my own. "here it is!" i say while i start to unlock the door.

"DAZAI WHERE THE FUCK IS MY HAIR BRUSH!?!?" is the first thing i hear when i open the door 'oh lord' "calm down dear, its just a hair brush" says the same brunet from earlier while getting choked by the ginger 'what did i just walk in on' "this is kinda kinky not gonna lie-" the brunet says before the ginger lets go of him. "perv.." mumbles the ginger before he sees me.

"who the fuck are you?" he asks and i freeze "oh! i think thats our new room mate chuuya!" the brunet says excitedly "oh yeah, we were getting a new room mate, thats why we had to clean the guest room" the ginger says in a bit calmer voice now.

i study the boys features carefully.. they are quite pretty both of them, the brunet boy has bandages covering his arm, legs and neck, weird.. the ginger boy has some cute freckles covering his face and one blue and one brown eye. 

"you just gonna stand there like an idiot or introduce yourself to us?" the ginger asks in an annoyed tone. 

"a-ah! i-i'm Y/N..!" 'FUCK WHY DID I HAVE TO START STUTTERING RIGHT NOW!?' i think while dying inside.

"i'm guessing you aren't from Japan, right?" the brunet asks.

"..yeah.. i'm Finnish.." i say.

"i can tell" the ginger says.

'what the fuck is that supposed to mean!?' 

"chuuya, i'm pretty sure thats offensive to say" the brunet says. "HUH!?" the ginger seems shocked. 

"by the way i'm Dazai Osamu" the brunet says " and this here is my boyfriend, Chuuya Nakahara!" he say happily. 

"you shouldn't say that we are boyfriends to them! what if they are homophobic, dumbass!?" Chuuya say in a more irritated voice.

"..its fine.. i'm also a part of the community.." i say an they just look at me. i start to feel pretty weird and think that they are jugging me. i feel like i want to cry but i hold it in as to not make a fool out of myself.

"follow me and i'll show you your room!" Dazai says happily and grabs my hand. i flinch a bit at the contact but don't do anything to not seem like a bother.

"heres your new room!" he says and pushes me into the room closing the door 'finally he left me alone,..' i think while looking around the room, its quite big, probably bigger then my old room back.. home.. i feel sad thinking about my "home".. it never really felt like a home or a safe place for me.. all i can remember are bad times from when my parents yelled at me and said they were gonna hit me.

i wipe a tear that was running down my cheek and start unpacking my stuff.

"..this is gonna be a long night.." i sigh.

(authors note: i'll try to update this as much as i can since i'm busy with school stuff:) there might be a bit of smut in the next chapter;

Please don't steal this (nobody is gonna do that anyway) and i won't post the next chapter for a while so just read it on my wattpad. it might take me like months to post more chapters since i might forget lol) 

[spellwell]

snakes venom || d.m

a Draco Malfoy Romance novel.

summary: Sable Blackwell is starting her first year at Hogwarts when she meets a fellow Slytherin, Draco Malfoy. At first they can’t stand eachother, but what will happen at the end of year three that changes everything?

a.n: this is my first post! yay! This is the intro/first part to a story I’m starting, I hope you enjoy it! All students start at the age of 13 instead of 11 but I did my best to keep everyone true to character and such. Draco’s love interest is a character I made. Chapter one will be posted very very soon!! Stay tuned :) Repost for chapter one, or ask to be in taglist.

warnings: some bullying. future chapters will have fluff, smut, angst and language. future chapters will each have there own warnings.

words: 1.9k

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡.•

introduction

the war begins

-

Sable Blackwell was thrilled for her first year at Hogwarts, following in the footsteps of her family, a long line of pure-blood Slytherins. She was afraid she wouldn't be sorted into the house her family said she'd be destined to join, you see she was much more reserved and friendly compared to her well-known and famous brother, Brom Blackwell. Not only was he known for being loud and borderline a bully, but for how powerful he was. Sable never understood why girls swooned and boys cowered to Brom, but everyone knew who he was at Hogwarts meaning evidentially, they knew who she was as soon as her last name was spoken.

"Sable Blackwell!" It was almost as if she could feel her mother and father's eyes on her as it was her turn to be sorted by the hat. There were definitely eyes on her, but of the students around her, including her older brother who was in his fifth year. She glanced around at the few students left after her, trying to avoid all of the eyes behind her as she stood up, begrudgingly to sit in the sorting hats seat. "Oh!" The hat above her announced as it sat softly on her head. "I know this one... yes.... a Blackwell." She gulped, her cheeks going red with the pressure of these next few moments. The hat chuckled and seemed to ponder for a moment. "You don't think you'll be sorted in the right house, do you?" The hat seemed to read her thoughts, god why. "Doubt me do you?" The hat replied with another chuckle. The room seemed to get quiet, even more quiet than before. "Slytherin!" The announcement making her fly out of the chair and towards the Slytherin table. She was relieved yet disappointed, relieved to appease her family, but disappointed in her doubts of being a good Slytherin.

The hat continued on as she walked down the aisle, looking for a seat, god any seat. Her eyes first scanned to her brother and his friends, giggling about. "Sable! You're not a total disappointment, I'm proud!" He hollered over the table, making her blush and hide her face away. Not even his sister was safe from his rude behavior. A seat seemed to be empty amongst other first year Slytherins, causing a grin to appear on her face before taking a seat.

She scanned the students around her at the table, avoiding direct eye contact with any of them. It was just as she expected, a group of intimidating, mean looking wizards and witches, even for first years. As she looked at the other tables, students laughed with bright smiles and she couldn't help but wish she had been sorted into the same house as the nice group of kids she had met on the train there. Almost as if it was fate her eyes met with one of the three, a bright and sweet Gryffindor named Hermione. The girl gave her a sympathetic smile, almost like she had also wished Sable was with them at that table.

"Malfoy, Draco Malfoy." A voice came from beside her, breaking her train of thought. She almost jumped as she turned to the boy next to her. He was blonde, hair slicked back, wearing a smug little grin. "Uh, I'm Sable, Sable Blackwell." She said softly, scanning the boy in front of her, he did not look very friendly, even with that grin on his face. "I know." He said with confidence. "You're kind of a big deal in first year, my father even thinks you may hold a candle to your brother." He said with a chuckle, making the students around them chuckle as well. She was so nervous she couldn't even think of touching the food that had magically appeared in front of them. "Since you're a pure-blood I don't mind having you around, but don't even think about out shining me." Every word he said seemed laced with venom. She very quickly saw into what kind of person he was, especially from his pure-blood comment. "I- uh." She couldn't stop the stuttering words from coming out. "Yeah, okay." Was all she could get out, making the boy laugh not with her, but at her. "You won't last a minute in the Slytherin house."

With that, he turned back to his friends who continued to laugh and giggle, geez, this wasn't going to be easy, but she was still excited about starting her Hogwarts adventure.

-

The start was a tad rocky, but with time she made great friends with the group of Gryffindors she had met first boarding the train to Hogwarts. Hermione Granger, who was slowly becoming her best friend, was smart, quick witted and destined for greatness. Harry Potter, aka the boy who lived, also seemed to be a big deal around Hogwarts but was incredibly humble and sweet to her. Last but not least, Ron Weasley, a good hearted ginger who made everyone laugh, including Sable.

She spent most of her time with the golden trio, not really clicking with many in her house. If she was in the dorms, or doing any Slytherin activities she tended to stay to herself, well when she could. There was one Slytherin who she had met her first day, Draco Malfoy. Malfoy seemed to dislike her and she didn't know why. Maybe because she was friends with the golden trio? Harry seemed to be his biggest enemy. Or maybe because she was doing really well in class and people were starting to like her. He took any opportunity to embarrass her or hurt her feelings, but she began to get quite used to it and it seemed to make him even angrier, the less she cared. Sure at first it bothered her, but as more of her house began to like her and the more used to his annoying voice she became, she just didn't care.

-

The summer didn't feel that long, and Sable couldn't wait to get back to Hogwarts. Everyone seemed to have a good summer, and all of her friends missed her. Everything seemed to be going well and smooth for the beginning of her second year.

-

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" She wasn't sure what happened till she was on the floor. One second she was walking to potions, the next she's looking up to see Draco Malfoy, snarling with his arms crossed. "Did you hear me? I said watch where you're going! You're so stupid." He said, knowing it wasn't true, just spitting out mean words. Her expression grew more and more annoyed as he spoke. "Maybe you should watch your mouth, prick." Now standing, she mimicked the stance he held. "Excuse me?!" His voice going up an octave or two. "You heard me, it was an accident, leave me alone." She said before walking away. The boy scoffed, dumbfounded and annoyed that she spoke to him that way.

The rest of the year went by the same, bickering in every corridor and glaring through every lesson. "Why must you give him so much attention? All you're doing is egging him on." Harry whispered under his breathe to the girl sitting next go him. "Because-" she said, still glaring from across the way at the blonde nuisance. "He's the most vile piece of-" "Blackwell!" Snape's voice snapped through her whisper. "Unless you would like to tell everyone, I suggest against interrupting me again." Draco and his crew stifled laugher as his smirk grew wider towards her. This was only going to get worse.

-

Just as she predicted, year three seemed to be when it really took off. By this point Draco was picking on you more than Harry and her friends noticed. They also noticed she was becoming his bully as well, doing something meaner each time he would do something to nag her. First it seemed like self defense but the further on the year went, the most aggressive they both became.

It wasn't long before everyone knew of their rivalry.

It started with Draco calling Sable mean names in the corridors which she would say back. Then it escalated to pranks with spells or potions, tripping each other over chair legs and even ruining each others class projects, causing Slytherin to lose points.

"She's the most impossibly irritating person I have ever met!" Draco scoffed out as he paced back in forth in the Slytherin common room. Pansy, a fellow Slytherin in his year was sitting on the couch across, watching Draco like he had gone mad. "If you ask me, you have some sort of weird obsession with Blackwell." His mouth gaped at the idea of what the girl in front of him was saying. "Obsession? Most definitely not! She is simply a pest that affects my day to day life!" The girl scoffs, nearly laughs at his words before standing up, having enough of his blabbering. "Well then you figure out your little crush on this girl, and I'll be heading to bed." Draco was left in the common room, now alone and fuming. Obsessed?? Little crush?? Never, how dare she belittle his war against the enemy. He would never have a "little crush" on that girl.

-

This was not what he had really planned. When he had set foot in the great hall, Sable in his sights as she sat with her friends, he had no idea she was having a bad day. He had no idea how fragile she could be, and that maybe right now wasn't the best time to ruin her morning.

As cold water poured over the top of the young girls head, Harry, Hermione and Ron's mouths all fell open, like they knew what was about to happen. Draco on the other hand, standing behind her with now an empty cup in hand had no idea, however. At first he couldn't tell if it was water or tears running down her cheeks but he had a good clue as she ran off from the great hall at a fast pace, hiding her face. "Great job Malfoy! Why are you such a prick to her!" Harry yelled as he continued after Sable, trying to catch up to her.

-

Great. Why did he feel bad, like really bad. It was always fun watching her get mad or worked up but crying? Seeing her cry wasn't exactly on his top list of to-dos, maybe when he was a few years younger but now? All he felt was guilt. Why was he so mean to her? He wasn't sure, maybe it was her attitude or her friends, maybe even how smart she was ticked him off but he wasn't sure why he felt the need to bully her in the first place.

The more he pondered on it, the more he began to think Pansy was right, he did care about her, maybe even enjoy their back and forth in a way he didn't think was possible. He did have feelings for her.

-

For the rest of the short time they had that year, Draco and Sable seemed to avoid each other. Sable was embarrassed she cried that day, and a little pissed off he had to push her so far, even if he didn't know. Meanwhile Draco was just perplexed, on how he was going to handle these new found emotions for her, and embarrassed that he may have to admit it to her.

-

But that was for Draco to deal with next year, maybe by then, he'd be over it.

[soaps-mohawk]

I HAVE A QUESTION TO YOU MY LOVLY FAVORITE AUTHOR!

so I saw you answer about ruts and that they only get triggered by an omega in heat, and if I remember right, In the last chapter when Gaz like opened the door to the reader, the scent like kind went out into the hall or sum? (I may be wrong I have a bad memory 😂) but doesn’t that mean the ready may have triggered Ghosts rut too?!

And like if that’s the case what happens to Ghost? Like what do he do???

————————————————————————

LOVE the last chapter btw! Can’t wait for the next one!! ❤️❤️

Hi love!!!

You'll see what Ghost and Soap were up to during Chapter 12 a bit in Chapter 13 lol and how they handled the heat situation.

As far as that question, if Ghost were standing out in the hall and Gaz opened the door and let some of the scent out, it could possibly trigger a rut in Ghost which would lead to a confrontation between Ghost and Price. But, the ventilation systems in those buildings cycle air pretty quickly so scents don't usually spread very far or by the time they do, they're thinned out enough that it's just barely noticeable. It likely wouldn't be enough of a dose to really get Ghost riled up anyway, since they have to get a good whiff of it to really lose control like that, but it would be a pretty sketchy situation if he were to catch her scent.

[ceilidho]

Do you have any advice or tips for writing dialogue? It's what I struggle most with 😩😩😩

haha I wish I did 😩 honestly this one sucks the most for me because I truly feel like I don't understand how people talk, or like, I'm really only beginning to get it. I remember spending most of my teenage years (I started writing fanfiction around age 13 or so) really not understanding how people talk to each other and being supremely confused about it.

Once again, the biggest help you're ever going to get is just watching a lot and reading a lot and paying attention to how people talk. I mentioned this in my other writing advice ask, so I'll just reiterate below and add some other observations I have on how people speak:

If you're writing fanfiction, watch or read the source material as much as possible, until you can almost hear the way the character sounds in your head. Take time to understand things like their accent and how they speak (do they talk a lot or very little? do they use slang or enunciate everything? do they speak quickly or slowly?). Here, you just want to concentrate on the cadence of their speech / their speech patterns. If they speak plainly or use lots of proverbs or turns of phrases, that sort of thing. If you have that down, you've honestly done half the work. Even I often reread my work and go "fuck, all of these people SOUND the same even though they're saying different things".

A super important point I should make before anything else is that dialogue is intrinsic to character. If you have a taciturn, sullen, aloof character, they probably won't be a very emotional or heartfelt interlocutor. The things (the content of their dialogue) they'll want to speak about will also reflect this - they might complain more often, might not offer praise as readily. They won't ask for help or share vulnerable parts of them.

A more positive character will be the exact opposite of that. They might be more eager to offer advice or praise. They might feel nervous or uncomfortable about confrontation or calling someone out if they're doing something the character doesn't like.

Essentially, when you're not sure what a character would say, think about:

Who is this person? What are their core attributes?

What is their end goal from this conversation? (or, if it's just chatter / conversation for conversation's sake, what kinds of topics might they be interested in?)

If there is a goal, how would this particular character achieve it (or would they be unsuccessful if they're too timid or mean about it)? Would they be blunt, circumlocutory, deliberately confusing, manipulative - would they get frustrated with themselves because even the character isn't able to say the thing they want to say?

Another thing you have to understand about the way people speak, even if this is VASTLY frustrating when writing because it takes you longer to get to the point, is that people rarely just outright say what they want. Sooommeeee people do, but even in your personal life you'll know those kinds of people to be blunt, straight forward, etc. Most people aren't like that. If you need to take the extra chapter or couple paragraphs to wrangle the truth out of someone, that's pretty natural.

I try to avoid clichés or anything corny in my dialogue unless it makes sense for that character (for instance, Price might be more likely to use like generic white guy colloquialisms like "you're barking up the wrong tree" or "let's rock and roll" lmaoo).

Anyway, I don't have much advice for dialogue because I also struggle with it, but one thing to keep in mind is that readers are very aware of characterization, even subconsciously. Don't sacrifice good characterization even if it means you need to redo a scene or take longer to get to something.