#you’re so funny!! your writing always has me laughing smiling cackling or internally howling lmao

[bigbuffjoonie]

I AM REEEEEEEELING. REELING I TELL YOU!!

Versus | MYG, JHS - Chapter 5

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok

Genre: smut, fluff, angst, crack, enemies to lovers, Villains!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of weapons - blades, use of restraints - chains and straitjacket, implied threat of death by mauling, fighting, mentions of blood, Yoongi confirmed cat owner, Hobi's fuse is getting shorter by the minute

Word Count: 2.5k

Disclaimer: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me

Summary: Supervillain exes Yoongi and Hoseok are sick and tired of having their plans for world domination wrecked by you, aka Vitality, the world’s most powerful superhero. When fellow villain Jimin suggests a little competition to see who can bring you to your knees, they both eagerly accept. Now the battle is on as both men engage you in fight after fight to see who will conquer you first. Will you finally defeat these two, or will they destroy you - and possibly take each other out in the process?

A/N: And we're back in the ring again, for another round of fights! Things are really heating up. Time for our villains to decide if they're gonna put out the fire, or burn even brighter, as Hobi himself would say.

Unbeta’d as usual. I’d love to know what you think - my inbox is always open! 💕

Chapter Four ✨ Series Masterlist ✨ Chapter Six

Chapter Five: Back in the Ring

Yoongi would really love to hear Jimin announce his name as the winner, but the way you’re moving in that straitjacket right now has him doubting today’s his lucky day.

You’re also questioning your luck as you attempt to free yourself from the tight black garment. One moment, you were seconds away from defeating Yoongi again, shooting his daggers out of the sky and aiming for him next, when suddenly you felt that familiar invisible wave pulsate through you, and you fainted.

You, Vitality, the most powerful creature on the fucking planet, swooned like some lady in a romance novel whose stays were tied too tight. You passed the fuck out in the middle of a fight, and woke up wearing a straitjacket, suspended by chains dangling from the ceiling in… well, you don’t know where the fuck you are. He must’ve dragged you back to one of the many safehouses he has scattered across the globe. And your fucking powers are on the fritz again, just like the last time you’d fought Yoongi and ended up strung up on the wall. 

You. Are. Pissed.

“Where the fuck are we, you ginger psycho?!” you shriek, swinging back and forth as you shift your shoulders, trying to loosen the jacket’s stranglehold. “And why the fuck do you even have a straitjacket??”

Yoongi merely cackles, stroking your nose with the tip of his dagger, trying to maintain his relaxed air. The plan is to dangle you over the cage where Moonlight, his beloved snow leopard, is waiting impatiently for her dinner. But the elaborate rope and pulley system Taehyung designed is… well, it’s stuck, the gears refusing to turn, so now Yoongi’s stalling for time while Taehyung searches for his oil. 

Yoongi makes a note to discuss proper lubrication techniques with his confidant once Moonlight’s been fed. 

The power disrupters seem to be working perfectly for once, thankfully. However, you’re bouncing so wildly that Yoongi’s starting to suspect he’s made a bad decision here with his choice of constraint. That damn jacket. Why not use his standard restraints? There are no points here for showmanship. 

Sometimes he just can’t help himself. He’s a natural born showman. 

An agitated growl brings his wandering thoughts back to heel. 

“Patience, darling,” Yoongi calls out to his pet. He taps his dagger against your cheek. “Any last requests?”

“Yeah, why don’t you kiss my ass, motherfucker?” you spit, feeling your left arm starting to slip. Shit, you really hate this part.

Yoongi sheaths his dagger as he roughly grips your face with one leather-gloved hand. “That can be arranged, if you’d like. I told you before, I am open to suggestions.”

“I suggest you go fuck yourself, you fucking cockwaffle!”

He barely blinks at your spite. “For a superhero, you have such a filthy mouth,” he murmurs, running a thumb over your bottom lip. “Want me to put it to good use one last time?”

“Whatever you’re about to say, just shove–“ 

“Always so vulgar,” Yoongi interrupts you smoothly, fingers still grasping your cheeks. He needs to divert your attention long enough for Taehyung to figure out the gears, or this is going to end very badly for him. Again. “It’s almost a shame that I have to get rid of you, pretty bird. We could have such fun together.”

Your shoulder loosens. Finally. 

“I highly fucking doubt that, you homicidal maniac.” But you recognize the glint in his eyes, and your swinging stops for a moment as you find yourself lost in it. 

“Come now. Your time is growing short. There’s no need to pretend with me. How long have we been fighting now? How many battles? I can read you so clearly, after all this time. I know you want to know.” He tilts his face, mouth close enough to yours that you can feel his warm breath on your lips. It’s enough to make you lose focus for a moment, chest hitching as soft fingertips ghost over your chin. 

The shift from cruel to gentle is whiplash-inducing. And strangely alluring. But you need to stay sharp. Concentrate. 

Distract him. 

“Know what?” you ask. Scarlet shimmers around him as he steps closer, hands cradling your head. “What could you possibly think you know about me?”

“I know that you’re frustrated.”

“Obviously!”

“I don’t mean with the current circumstances, pretty bird. I know you’re frustrated with the way your company just can’t seem to keep its hands on me.” The corner of his mouth curls in a self-satisfied smirk. “And you’re shouldering all that blame yourself, aren’t you? No matter how much you do for them, it’s just not enough, is it?”

You blink, trying not to show how rattled you are by his words. It’s like he can see directly into your mind. How the fuck does he do that? “You just think you know everything, don’t you?” 

Yoongi laughs, a low chuckle that tickles your cheek. He adjusts his grip, one hand on either side of your face, eyes darkening as they gaze into yours. 

“It’s true, pretty bird, that there is so much I know. So much that you’re not even aware of. But I will admit now, knowing you’ll take this secret to your grave, that there’s something I’ve always longed to know.”

Something he remembers, one very drunken evening, talking to someone else about. He also remembers the way the other man had glanced at him like he was mad. 

He always loathed that look. 

“What?” The question tumbles from your mouth before you can stop it. This is your chance - don’t let yourself get distracted now!

Focus. 

“What it would be like,” he whispers into your mouth, “if we….” 

One second, you’re both waiting, and then you’re both moving, crossing the space between you. The invisible line. 

The kiss is surprisingly tender. Yoongi moves delicately against your mouth, but the way you softly sigh and part your lips for him turns him feral, and soon you’re both gasping for air.

Yoongi breaks away first, shaking his head, trying to clear the fog of arousal that suddenly clouds his mind. The last thing he wants is Hobi mocking him for thinking with his dick again. 

He’s given him more than enough to laugh at over the years.

“Holy shit,” you pant, staring at him. “Did you… did you feel…?”

Yoongi nods, still hazy. He did feel something. Like sparks. Shooting up his arm. They’re still going, actually.

Oh, shit. Those fucking wonky power disrupters.

ZAP! 

Yoongi’s blasted off his feet. White beams crackle from the fingertips of the hand you’ve managed to free thanks to your dislocated shoulder. With a grin, you zap him again, hard enough to stun, and shake yourself free of the jacket. Another few zaps at your chains and you’re back on your feet just as Taehyung rushes through the door with a can of oil. 

“Found it, hyung!” he yells triumphantly, stopping short at the sight of Yoongi lying on the ground while you tower over him. “Oh. Shit.” 

The can goes flying as Taehyung hits the ground. Yoongi peers up at you blearily, still reeling from your attack. A halo of bright energy flows around your body as you gaze down at him, giving you an ethereal glow. His dazed mind thinks you look like an angel of death. A valkyrie, come to claim him at last.

He sighs as darkness steals him away. 

“Thank you for joining me today, hyungs. Sorry we couldn’t do this in my office, but it’s out of commission at the moment.” Jimin’s smile drips with charm as his holographic image flickers on Hobi’s console. 

“Still can’t get the blood stains out, huh?” Yoongi drawls through the speakers. He’d opted out of using Hobi’s holo-tech for today’s meeting. Typical analog Yoongi. Hobi leans back, letting his legs rest on the table in front of him in his command center. 

Jimin’s smile tightens at Yoongi’s question. “The rug’s just fine, thanks for asking, hyung. Anyway, I thought it was time to check in on your challenge and see how things are going. We should - will you please stop fiddling with that?”

The image of the handsome man in the three-piece suit stabilizes as he glares at someone out of view. “Sorry, Jimin-ssi,” a contrite voice apologizes.

“Hey Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi greets the younger man.

“Hi Yoongi-hyung!” Jungkook trills merrily from somewhere off-screen beside Jimin.

“Quit fucking with my tech, Jungkook-ah,” Hobi growls in lieu of pleasantries. 

“Sorry, Hobi-hyung!” 

Jimin pinches his nose. “If you’re done, Jungkook, I’d like to get back to my meeting now?” 

“Yeah, can we please get on with this?” Yoongi replies agitatedly. Hobi’s not sure what’s more irritating, Yoongi’s voice or the meeting itself. 

He drums his fingers on the console, itching to get this over with. Vitality’s been a thorn in his side since the day she debuted as the Bureau of Technology and Superheroes’s latest super do-gooder. He should be plotting his next move against her. Instead, he’s stuck in this meeting. His mind wanders to his last attempt to defeat her, when she’d literally flipped the balance and taken him down so swiftly. He can still feel the heat of her thighs squeezing him as she’d rolled them over.…

“Hobi-hyung?”

Several seconds pass before Hobi realizes that Jimin’s image is staring at him. “Fuck, sorry, what was that?”

“I asked if you agree.”

“Right. With…?”

“Jesus, will you stop playing with your gadgets and pay attention? Can’t you keep your hands off your toys for five fucking seconds?” Yoongi’s annoyed voice hisses over the comms. 

“Fuck off,” Hobi replies evenly. “I’m not playing with anything, I just drifted off while Jimin was nattering on.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Jimin’s smile finally slips from his face as he scowls into the holo-cam. “Anyway, if you’ll just pull up the Powerpoint presentation I emailed to you, we can continue.” 

Hobi raises a finger and Jin automatically loads the presentation on the main monitor of the command center. An image of Hobi and Yoongi glaring at each other fills the screen, along with the title “Dark Hobi vs Evil Yoongi: Progress Report.” 

“Oh god. Comic Sans? Really, Jimin?” 

Jimin ignores Hobi, clearing his throat officiously. “If you scroll to the first slide, you’ll see…” 

Jimin’s blathering fades into the background as Hobi swipes his finger in the air. Jin follows his movements, scrolling through the slides quickly. There are images of his last battle along with Yoongi’s in here. Each slide also contains Jimin's pompous commentary. Hobi rolls his eyes, flipping through faster. His friend is really milking this competition. 

Whatever keeps him out of Hobi’s hair is fine with him. 

Then he reaches the final slide. 

“What the fuck, Jimin?” 

Jimin breaks off, glancing into the holo-cam. “Hyung, what is it? I was in the middle of discussing - “

“I don’t care. You’re declaring Yoongi the winner so far?”

“Well, look at that.” Hobi’s eye twitches at how pleased Yoongi sounds.

“Hyung! Are you scrolling ahead?” Jimin’s hologram pouts. “You’re supposed to be following along with us. Do you have any idea how long it took me to put this together??”

“Two weeks,” Jungkook pipes up helpfully.

“KOOK-AH!” 

Hobi rubs his face. “Jimin-ah! I don’t care! I just don’t understand how you can say Yoongi’s in the lead. The winner’s the one who kills Vitality. Either she’s alive or she’s dead, there’s no in-between. So how can he be ahead if she’s still breathing?” 

“Well, hyung, if you had bothered to pay attention, I would’ve answered that for you on slide number 34, where I introduce the point system that I’ve - “

“Point system!” Hobi’s changed his mind. Jimin’s doing too much. “Are you serious? This is absolutely ridiculous, Jimin.” He rises to his feet and starts to pace, knowing the holo-cam will track the motion. “Powerpoint presentations and check-ins and now point systems? What a waste of time! I should be attacking Vitality right now!” 

“Excuse me? A waste of time?? How dare - “ 

“Then go.” 

Yoongi’s calm voice cuts into Jimin’s sputtering. He sounds completely unbothered.

Hobi stops pacing, peering into the cam as if it would show him Yoongi. “What did you say?” 

“I said, then go. Go fight Vitality again. No one cares what you do.” 

Red flashes across Hobi’s vision. “I wasn’t talking to you,” he seethes through his teeth, grinding them together. “I was talking to Jimin.” 

“On a conference call. So I’m here too, dipshit.” Yoongi’s voice is a little tighter now. He’s trying to maintain control. It only makes Hobi want to rip into him more. 

“I know you are, asshole, but I was clearly only addressing Jimin, so I don’t need to hear your opinion on the matter! So just shut the fuck up!” 

“Hyungs, can we please - “

“No, you shut the fuck up! Stop complaining and leave already, if this whole meeting is beneath you!” 

“There’s no need for the two of you - “

“I never said it was beneath me!“ 

“You didn’t have to say it, it was implied in your tone! It’s always implied in your tone, you always act like you’re superior to everyone else!” Yoongi’s yelling now, practically roaring over the comms. 

“I do not - “

“Yes you do! Look at the way you’re talking to Jimin! Fuck, look at the way you used to talk to me!”

“Fuck you!” Hobi slams his hands on the table. There’s a replying bang on the other end, like Yoongi’s also taking his anger out on something around him. “I never treated you badly! Never!” 

Jimin silently gazes into the holo-cam, eyes wide as he listens to both men panting. Hobi leans against the wall behind the table, head down as he closes his eyes. Yoongi’s fucking inferiority complex drove him crazy when they were together and it angers him even more now. He never understood how amazing he is. 

Was. How amazing he was. Now, he’s just another thorn in Hobi’s side. 

He really needs to do some pruning.

Jimin clears his throat again. “If the two of you are done…”

“Yeah. We’re done.” Yoongi spits. 

“Finished,” Hobi agrees with a sneer. “As is this conversation. Jimin, don’t waste another two weeks on more of this Powerpoint bullshit.” Jimin lets out a tiny ‘hey’ as Hobi raises his hand. “And don’t send me any more meeting invites. We’ll talk again when I’ve won.” He makes a fist, and Jin cuts the connection. Jimin’s hologram disappears. 

There’s a beat, and then Jin says, “So, that went well.”

“Shut it, Jin.” Hobi slums back into his chair. “Pull up the schematics for file #218. Let’s finalize this. I want to mobilize as soon as possible.” 

“Yes, sir.” Hobi appreciates the lack of pet names as his newest project loads on the monitor. Taking a deep breath, he forces his pulse to slow, trying his damnedest to push that meeting out of his thoughts. But no matter what he does, Yoongi’s mocking tone just keeps echoing in his ear. It’s still there two days later when Hobi boards his jet, on his way to enact his latest plan.

“No one cares what you do.”

He’ll fucking show him. Hobi’ll make Yoongi care, when he wins. Then he’ll make him pay.

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© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

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