#also THE FIGHT??? JEEEEESUS

[bigbuffjoonie]

I AM REEEEEEEELING. REELING I TELL YOU!!

Versus | MYG, JHS - Chapter 5

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok

Genre: smut, fluff, angst, crack, enemies to lovers, Villains!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of weapons - blades, use of restraints - chains and straitjacket, implied threat of death by mauling, fighting, mentions of blood, Yoongi confirmed cat owner, Hobi's fuse is getting shorter by the minute

Word Count: 2.5k

Disclaimer: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me

Summary: Supervillain exes Yoongi and Hoseok are sick and tired of having their plans for world domination wrecked by you, aka Vitality, the world’s most powerful superhero. When fellow villain Jimin suggests a little competition to see who can bring you to your knees, they both eagerly accept. Now the battle is on as both men engage you in fight after fight to see who will conquer you first. Will you finally defeat these two, or will they destroy you - and possibly take each other out in the process?

A/N: And we're back in the ring again, for another round of fights! Things are really heating up. Time for our villains to decide if they're gonna put out the fire, or burn even brighter, as Hobi himself would say.

Unbeta’d as usual. I’d love to know what you think - my inbox is always open! 💕

Chapter Four ✨ Series Masterlist ✨ Chapter Six

Chapter Five: Back in the Ring

Yoongi would really love to hear Jimin announce his name as the winner, but the way you’re moving in that straitjacket right now has him doubting today’s his lucky day.

You’re also questioning your luck as you attempt to free yourself from the tight black garment. One moment, you were seconds away from defeating Yoongi again, shooting his daggers out of the sky and aiming for him next, when suddenly you felt that familiar invisible wave pulsate through you, and you fainted.

You, Vitality, the most powerful creature on the fucking planet, swooned like some lady in a romance novel whose stays were tied too tight. You passed the fuck out in the middle of a fight, and woke up wearing a straitjacket, suspended by chains dangling from the ceiling in… well, you don’t know where the fuck you are. He must’ve dragged you back to one of the many safehouses he has scattered across the globe. And your fucking powers are on the fritz again, just like the last time you’d fought Yoongi and ended up strung up on the wall. 

You. Are. Pissed.

“Where the fuck are we, you ginger psycho?!” you shriek, swinging back and forth as you shift your shoulders, trying to loosen the jacket’s stranglehold. “And why the fuck do you even have a straitjacket??”

Yoongi merely cackles, stroking your nose with the tip of his dagger, trying to maintain his relaxed air. The plan is to dangle you over the cage where Moonlight, his beloved snow leopard, is waiting impatiently for her dinner. But the elaborate rope and pulley system Taehyung designed is… well, it’s stuck, the gears refusing to turn, so now Yoongi’s stalling for time while Taehyung searches for his oil. 

Yoongi makes a note to discuss proper lubrication techniques with his confidant once Moonlight’s been fed. 

The power disrupters seem to be working perfectly for once, thankfully. However, you’re bouncing so wildly that Yoongi’s starting to suspect he’s made a bad decision here with his choice of constraint. That damn jacket. Why not use his standard restraints? There are no points here for showmanship. 

Sometimes he just can’t help himself. He’s a natural born showman. 

An agitated growl brings his wandering thoughts back to heel. 

“Patience, darling,” Yoongi calls out to his pet. He taps his dagger against your cheek. “Any last requests?”

“Yeah, why don’t you kiss my ass, motherfucker?” you spit, feeling your left arm starting to slip. Shit, you really hate this part.

Yoongi sheaths his dagger as he roughly grips your face with one leather-gloved hand. “That can be arranged, if you’d like. I told you before, I am open to suggestions.”

“I suggest you go fuck yourself, you fucking cockwaffle!”

He barely blinks at your spite. “For a superhero, you have such a filthy mouth,” he murmurs, running a thumb over your bottom lip. “Want me to put it to good use one last time?”

“Whatever you’re about to say, just shove–“ 

“Always so vulgar,” Yoongi interrupts you smoothly, fingers still grasping your cheeks. He needs to divert your attention long enough for Taehyung to figure out the gears, or this is going to end very badly for him. Again. “It’s almost a shame that I have to get rid of you, pretty bird. We could have such fun together.”

Your shoulder loosens. Finally. 

“I highly fucking doubt that, you homicidal maniac.” But you recognize the glint in his eyes, and your swinging stops for a moment as you find yourself lost in it. 

“Come now. Your time is growing short. There’s no need to pretend with me. How long have we been fighting now? How many battles? I can read you so clearly, after all this time. I know you want to know.” He tilts his face, mouth close enough to yours that you can feel his warm breath on your lips. It’s enough to make you lose focus for a moment, chest hitching as soft fingertips ghost over your chin. 

The shift from cruel to gentle is whiplash-inducing. And strangely alluring. But you need to stay sharp. Concentrate. 

Distract him. 

“Know what?” you ask. Scarlet shimmers around him as he steps closer, hands cradling your head. “What could you possibly think you know about me?”

“I know that you’re frustrated.”

“Obviously!”

“I don’t mean with the current circumstances, pretty bird. I know you’re frustrated with the way your company just can’t seem to keep its hands on me.” The corner of his mouth curls in a self-satisfied smirk. “And you’re shouldering all that blame yourself, aren’t you? No matter how much you do for them, it’s just not enough, is it?”

You blink, trying not to show how rattled you are by his words. It’s like he can see directly into your mind. How the fuck does he do that? “You just think you know everything, don’t you?” 

Yoongi laughs, a low chuckle that tickles your cheek. He adjusts his grip, one hand on either side of your face, eyes darkening as they gaze into yours. 

“It’s true, pretty bird, that there is so much I know. So much that you’re not even aware of. But I will admit now, knowing you’ll take this secret to your grave, that there’s something I’ve always longed to know.”

Something he remembers, one very drunken evening, talking to someone else about. He also remembers the way the other man had glanced at him like he was mad. 

He always loathed that look. 

“What?” The question tumbles from your mouth before you can stop it. This is your chance - don’t let yourself get distracted now!

Focus. 

“What it would be like,” he whispers into your mouth, “if we….” 

One second, you’re both waiting, and then you’re both moving, crossing the space between you. The invisible line. 

The kiss is surprisingly tender. Yoongi moves delicately against your mouth, but the way you softly sigh and part your lips for him turns him feral, and soon you’re both gasping for air.

Yoongi breaks away first, shaking his head, trying to clear the fog of arousal that suddenly clouds his mind. The last thing he wants is Hobi mocking him for thinking with his dick again. 

He’s given him more than enough to laugh at over the years.

“Holy shit,” you pant, staring at him. “Did you… did you feel…?”

Yoongi nods, still hazy. He did feel something. Like sparks. Shooting up his arm. They’re still going, actually.

Oh, shit. Those fucking wonky power disrupters.

ZAP! 

Yoongi’s blasted off his feet. White beams crackle from the fingertips of the hand you’ve managed to free thanks to your dislocated shoulder. With a grin, you zap him again, hard enough to stun, and shake yourself free of the jacket. Another few zaps at your chains and you’re back on your feet just as Taehyung rushes through the door with a can of oil. 

“Found it, hyung!” he yells triumphantly, stopping short at the sight of Yoongi lying on the ground while you tower over him. “Oh. Shit.” 

The can goes flying as Taehyung hits the ground. Yoongi peers up at you blearily, still reeling from your attack. A halo of bright energy flows around your body as you gaze down at him, giving you an ethereal glow. His dazed mind thinks you look like an angel of death. A valkyrie, come to claim him at last.

He sighs as darkness steals him away. 

“Thank you for joining me today, hyungs. Sorry we couldn’t do this in my office, but it’s out of commission at the moment.” Jimin’s smile drips with charm as his holographic image flickers on Hobi’s console. 

“Still can’t get the blood stains out, huh?” Yoongi drawls through the speakers. He’d opted out of using Hobi’s holo-tech for today’s meeting. Typical analog Yoongi. Hobi leans back, letting his legs rest on the table in front of him in his command center. 

Jimin’s smile tightens at Yoongi’s question. “The rug’s just fine, thanks for asking, hyung. Anyway, I thought it was time to check in on your challenge and see how things are going. We should - will you please stop fiddling with that?”

The image of the handsome man in the three-piece suit stabilizes as he glares at someone out of view. “Sorry, Jimin-ssi,” a contrite voice apologizes.

“Hey Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi greets the younger man.

“Hi Yoongi-hyung!” Jungkook trills merrily from somewhere off-screen beside Jimin.

“Quit fucking with my tech, Jungkook-ah,” Hobi growls in lieu of pleasantries. 

“Sorry, Hobi-hyung!” 

Jimin pinches his nose. “If you’re done, Jungkook, I’d like to get back to my meeting now?” 

“Yeah, can we please get on with this?” Yoongi replies agitatedly. Hobi’s not sure what’s more irritating, Yoongi’s voice or the meeting itself. 

He drums his fingers on the console, itching to get this over with. Vitality’s been a thorn in his side since the day she debuted as the Bureau of Technology and Superheroes’s latest super do-gooder. He should be plotting his next move against her. Instead, he’s stuck in this meeting. His mind wanders to his last attempt to defeat her, when she’d literally flipped the balance and taken him down so swiftly. He can still feel the heat of her thighs squeezing him as she’d rolled them over.…

“Hobi-hyung?”

Several seconds pass before Hobi realizes that Jimin’s image is staring at him. “Fuck, sorry, what was that?”

“I asked if you agree.”

“Right. With…?”

“Jesus, will you stop playing with your gadgets and pay attention? Can’t you keep your hands off your toys for five fucking seconds?” Yoongi’s annoyed voice hisses over the comms. 

“Fuck off,” Hobi replies evenly. “I’m not playing with anything, I just drifted off while Jimin was nattering on.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Jimin’s smile finally slips from his face as he scowls into the holo-cam. “Anyway, if you’ll just pull up the Powerpoint presentation I emailed to you, we can continue.” 

Hobi raises a finger and Jin automatically loads the presentation on the main monitor of the command center. An image of Hobi and Yoongi glaring at each other fills the screen, along with the title “Dark Hobi vs Evil Yoongi: Progress Report.” 

“Oh god. Comic Sans? Really, Jimin?” 

Jimin ignores Hobi, clearing his throat officiously. “If you scroll to the first slide, you’ll see…” 

Jimin’s blathering fades into the background as Hobi swipes his finger in the air. Jin follows his movements, scrolling through the slides quickly. There are images of his last battle along with Yoongi’s in here. Each slide also contains Jimin's pompous commentary. Hobi rolls his eyes, flipping through faster. His friend is really milking this competition. 

Whatever keeps him out of Hobi’s hair is fine with him. 

Then he reaches the final slide. 

“What the fuck, Jimin?” 

Jimin breaks off, glancing into the holo-cam. “Hyung, what is it? I was in the middle of discussing - “

“I don’t care. You’re declaring Yoongi the winner so far?”

“Well, look at that.” Hobi’s eye twitches at how pleased Yoongi sounds.

“Hyung! Are you scrolling ahead?” Jimin’s hologram pouts. “You’re supposed to be following along with us. Do you have any idea how long it took me to put this together??”

“Two weeks,” Jungkook pipes up helpfully.

“KOOK-AH!” 

Hobi rubs his face. “Jimin-ah! I don’t care! I just don’t understand how you can say Yoongi’s in the lead. The winner’s the one who kills Vitality. Either she’s alive or she’s dead, there’s no in-between. So how can he be ahead if she’s still breathing?” 

“Well, hyung, if you had bothered to pay attention, I would’ve answered that for you on slide number 34, where I introduce the point system that I’ve - “

“Point system!” Hobi’s changed his mind. Jimin’s doing too much. “Are you serious? This is absolutely ridiculous, Jimin.” He rises to his feet and starts to pace, knowing the holo-cam will track the motion. “Powerpoint presentations and check-ins and now point systems? What a waste of time! I should be attacking Vitality right now!” 

“Excuse me? A waste of time?? How dare - “ 

“Then go.” 

Yoongi’s calm voice cuts into Jimin’s sputtering. He sounds completely unbothered.

Hobi stops pacing, peering into the cam as if it would show him Yoongi. “What did you say?” 

“I said, then go. Go fight Vitality again. No one cares what you do.” 

Red flashes across Hobi’s vision. “I wasn’t talking to you,” he seethes through his teeth, grinding them together. “I was talking to Jimin.” 

“On a conference call. So I’m here too, dipshit.” Yoongi’s voice is a little tighter now. He’s trying to maintain control. It only makes Hobi want to rip into him more. 

“I know you are, asshole, but I was clearly only addressing Jimin, so I don’t need to hear your opinion on the matter! So just shut the fuck up!” 

“Hyungs, can we please - “

“No, you shut the fuck up! Stop complaining and leave already, if this whole meeting is beneath you!” 

“There’s no need for the two of you - “

“I never said it was beneath me!“ 

“You didn’t have to say it, it was implied in your tone! It’s always implied in your tone, you always act like you’re superior to everyone else!” Yoongi’s yelling now, practically roaring over the comms. 

“I do not - “

“Yes you do! Look at the way you’re talking to Jimin! Fuck, look at the way you used to talk to me!”

“Fuck you!” Hobi slams his hands on the table. There’s a replying bang on the other end, like Yoongi’s also taking his anger out on something around him. “I never treated you badly! Never!” 

Jimin silently gazes into the holo-cam, eyes wide as he listens to both men panting. Hobi leans against the wall behind the table, head down as he closes his eyes. Yoongi’s fucking inferiority complex drove him crazy when they were together and it angers him even more now. He never understood how amazing he is. 

Was. How amazing he was. Now, he’s just another thorn in Hobi’s side. 

He really needs to do some pruning.

Jimin clears his throat again. “If the two of you are done…”

“Yeah. We’re done.” Yoongi spits. 

“Finished,” Hobi agrees with a sneer. “As is this conversation. Jimin, don’t waste another two weeks on more of this Powerpoint bullshit.” Jimin lets out a tiny ‘hey’ as Hobi raises his hand. “And don’t send me any more meeting invites. We’ll talk again when I’ve won.” He makes a fist, and Jin cuts the connection. Jimin’s hologram disappears. 

There’s a beat, and then Jin says, “So, that went well.”

“Shut it, Jin.” Hobi slums back into his chair. “Pull up the schematics for file #218. Let’s finalize this. I want to mobilize as soon as possible.” 

“Yes, sir.” Hobi appreciates the lack of pet names as his newest project loads on the monitor. Taking a deep breath, he forces his pulse to slow, trying his damnedest to push that meeting out of his thoughts. But no matter what he does, Yoongi’s mocking tone just keeps echoing in his ear. It’s still there two days later when Hobi boards his jet, on his way to enact his latest plan.

“No one cares what you do.”

He’ll fucking show him. Hobi’ll make Yoongi care, when he wins. Then he’ll make him pay.

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© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

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[suzukiblu]

mirror mirror please? 🥰 (I have learned things about myself this night xD)

Fucking of course Match wouldn't ever willingly surrender in a fight, especially to him. 

And fucking of course Match would react differently to getting petted and praised and spoiled, even if only for the goddamn novelty factor of the treatment. 

Kon is a fucking genius for thinking of trying this and also a fucking idiot who should've thought of trying this the literal first time they'd fucked. 

Jesus, he is gonna die about this. He is literally gonna die about this, seriously. 

Jeeeeesus.

[allwormdiet]

Tangle 6.5

Once more unto the fucking breach, huh?

They're fucking insane for this one, though

Jeeeeesus Christ what a maneuver though, what a stunt

What a fucking entrance! Absolutely legendary for this one, holy shit

Y'know, I guess when you're this deep into the fucking shark tank, you might as well feel some kind of zen, right? Like what's gonna happen, things get more dangerous?

Oh hey Emma, hope this scares the bejeezus out of you,

Aww, Tattletale wanted to do a fun little monologue

Also very clever that they brought the bugs along via Big Dog, way better than depending on the gallery to have enough wasps and spiders

They are clowning on these fucking PRT guys, oh my god this is embarrassing

You're getting comboed to shit by a pack of half-feral teenagers and you can't even use your foam things worth a damn. Like, Tattletale is contributing in this fight, and she doesn't fight for shit!

Right, yeah containment foam. Pretty neat actually, and it makes sense as the weapon of choice for an organization meant to handle parahuman threats. Not that it's working for them rn, but y'know, thought that counts.

I think one day Victoria is gonna make Tattletale pay for that nickname, but good lord today is not that day

Also yeah fuck Shadow Stalker

Yeah, fuck Shadow Stalker!

Hi Assault, bye Assault

Great fucking team move between Assault and Battery, their powers are remarkably complementary to each other, which means it's kind of a shame it didn't work

This fight is still so cool though, god

Yeah you know what I think I get why people would want to stay away from Triumph, that's a power combination that'll do it

Aww but he's such a good boy though, taking down the big shouty man

Not only lol, but also lmao

And here comes Armsmaster to ruin everything. Again.

What's that line from the old Mortal Kombat movie? "I've studied all your moves," but said in like a horrendous fake Australian accent?

Also Jesus Miss Militia who needs a machine gun to subdue a teenager, that's overkill

Anyway haha things can only get better from here right

Current Thoughts

It hasn't even been two weeks since they knocked over the bank, and now they're here, that's fucking ludicrous

Fucking incredible that the Undersiders have managed to put up the numbers they have so far. Four Wards, Glory Girl, Assault and Battery, and Triumph all down and out. They walked into this with like two-to-one odds and have turned the numbers around in their favor. Armsmaster is gonna be a fucking problem of course, and Velocity's gonna put up a fight (Miss Militia is about to get punked in the next chapter so her not as much) but still, that's way better odds than I think anyone would have given them

It's getting late and I'm tired, so I'm gonna leave it here for tonight. Let that cliffhanger sizzle where it stands.

[ellena-asg]

For the tumblr game: Danno

Thank you, Meri! ♥️

So, Danny...

Sexuality Headcanon:

The same as Steve's. Ever since I watched the show I see them both as "not hetero, not gay, not bi but the secret X thing" 😉

At the begining I felt they're aromantic (and forced so much by the show writers to woo/date/marry ladies) and I still feel they're definitely platonic when they interact with other people. But to each other - they're super romantic.

They're best friends and they're the special ones to each other. They feel (real) attraction/love only to each other. So I headcanon both Danny and Steve as definitely uniromantic and The Pilot is a very special episode to me cause the scene in the garage is like kind of "Geez, I'm interested. In THAT way. For the first time in my life I really fucking feel... Geez!" (also: "Gosh, I'm in love. With this irritating handsome guy? Gooood, Jeeeeesus, Maaaary, Anyone?" 😂).

So, uniromantic. And they're the first and only characters in my fandom life whom I see in this way 🙂

Gender Headcanon:

Man. Cis.

A ship I have with said character:

Only Steve, only McDanno ♥️

A BROTP I have with said character:

In some way it's still Steve. Best friends forever - being married doesn't change it 😉

But speaking about completely platonic brotp: Chin. Chin is like an older brother. But Lou and Jerry and Kame, all boys in Ohana are true brothers ♥️ And ladies! ♥️ Kono is his sister so much! Mary too. Abby. I also love his brotp with Amy (Meka's wife). And of course Gracie! His daughter is his brotp. His Big Friend!

What I see on screen is also brotp-to-be: Danny & Sang Min. Seriously, both are Daddies, they love their kids so much, they'll do everything for them. They understand each other as fathers (scene in the prison and in Danny's car/on the beach ♥️). They both are loyal to Ohana. They ARE Ohana. And both are sassy and silver tongued 😂 (just imagine poor Stevie with these two 😂😂😂). Both are Masters of Dorkness. In Sarcasm they trust.

And sometimes they both are BAMF! Sang once was on the dark side and Danny... when he fights for victims or his Ohana, for Grace and Steve especially, when he's furious or in vigilante mood, yeah sometimes he's close to darkness, he knows the Fire (like in that episode with Marco Reyes).

And they both would give Steve their livers (Danny gave his part and Sang: "I woulda offered you my liver, McGurrett, but we both know it’s no god" 😄).

Oh, and Danny is from Jersey, Sang is from China but they both love Hawaii and it's their home forever.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Any person who is not Steve 😉 Speaking about show's canon ones: Melissa (I like her but she and Danny are veeery NOTP), Gabby (l love her much but again: NOTP with Danny). Other ladies he dated. But especially: Rachel (sorry, I'm allergic to abusers). She and her family were highly toxic to Danny and Grace. She's like Doris, even worse sometimes. I feel anxious (and mad at show writers) every damn time she's somewhere near Danny or Ohana generally.

A random headcanon:

I once had a dream about Danny so here is my a bit angsty fluffy AU with happy end:

Kono (like in the canon) feels tired and sad and thinks about leaving Five-0 and going (with Adam) to the mainland & fighting with human traffic criminals. Chin and Abby think about living in San Francisco. Max and Sabrina think about Africa. Meanwhile Rachel comes (with her mother Amanda) to Hawaii (Rachel was somewhere far away with Stan) and claims she is sorry and wants Danny back. Williamses from Jersey also come to Hawaii. They more and more ask Danny about Rachel. Bridget mentions that they all miss Danny in Jersey.

Stevie is devastated, he is sure that Danny will go to Jersey with his family and with Rachel. For sure "for Gracie". He also can't imagine living in Hawaii without almost whole Five-0, his Ohana. So Steve decides that he will go back to the Navy (*drama*). Danny is devastated. Governor Sam is devastated too, no Kono, no Chin, no Max, no Steve and no Danny... He thinks that Five-0 has no future and promises Lou and Jerry that he'll find them a new job.

Clara, hearing about Five-0 news, says that her cousin from Italy has mentioned recently there's a job offer in Italian police with higher rank and higher salary and so on. Rachel's mother is like "oh, Italy, finally some civilized place and a job for ambitious people". Danny's family is like "Well, your friends want to leave Hawaii, we're so sorry honey, but... maybe you'll think about Italian offer? Your grandma spoke Italian, you are so brilliant, you can learn it too and...". Rachel smiles and smiles and is soo sure that she will go to Italy with Danny and Grace (sorry, I've got issues with Charlie's plot so he isn't there 😂).

So all other Ohana members talk now about The Four and Max and so on leaving them. Kono, Max, Chin and Steve decide they will leave Hawaii next year. Governor then says to Danny "Better take that job in Italy, Danny. It's a really good offer".

Danny is like "What the hell they all are talking about?!". He only listens to them and says nothing. He's too much anxious, surprised, devastated and veeeery pissed off. What? No Kono, Adam, Chin, Abby, Sara, Max, Sabrina... No Steve the hell???!!! No Hawaii?! No Ohana?! No Five-0? He and who? Rachel? Buahahahahha. No funny. No fair. Nightmare! She will never change, he knows. And he can't love her. And he loves... Steve. And why the hell they all are so sure he is okay with this? He's NOT okay. They can't decide what is better for him - Italy, Jersey, no Hawaii. Seriously? All he wants is his home, his Honolulu. His beloved job and beloved police unit. His beloved Hawaiian people. And beaches. Pineapples. His Ohana. His whole Ohana. And Steve the hell. And Grace. No Rachel, no Italy, just NO.

Danny is so devastated. He's sure that he'll never see his guys again. He'll never see... Steve. He's in his darkest mood. Anxiety attacks, panic attacks, ANGER attacks, they come back to his head.

One day at some party he drinks too much. Gracie sees it. Some other day when he and Grace are crossing the street Danny is almost hit by a car cause he suddenly stood still like frozen and Grace had to scream his name to make him safe. He generally is more and more quiet, each day he looks like "something bad happened" and even though he pretends all is okay, he's good, Gracie sees it all.

One day she just asks. He says all is okay. She then says she feels him cause she doesn't want to leave either. She wants Ohana. Uncle Steve. And Danno, her beloved daddy. He asks her about Jersey, Italy, Rachel. She says NO, NO and... NO. She says that she knew he's sad and she knows how much he loves this place and these people. And her. She says he can't always think only about her. And that he CAN always have both: her and uncle Steve. "What you mean, Monkey?" he asks.

She says she noticed his reaction on Rachel and Amanda (and also Williamses' words about leaving Hawaii) and wanted to know finally what's going on. So one day, when Danny was sleeping hard in the living room (when he drank a bit too much beer for a second time) she checked his room to find "anything". And she finally found. His old letters/messages to Rachel and to the court. She also found something like his diary or letters-never-sent. There was all in them, Danny's pain, truth about his marriage, about her grandmother and mother's cruel plan aka You Will Never See Grace Again, his fear that he would lose Gracie, his love for Grace and Ohana. His pain after losing Matthew. His memories of wanting to kill himself when Rachel took Grace. His bad days and good days. His soul healing in Hawaii with Ohana. With Grace. With Steve. And photos. There were many photos of Ohana being together. And happy.

So, Grace tells Danny that everything will be all right. That NOW they're Super Team. They have to fight for the happiness. They're staying in Hawaii. They need to change Ohana's minds by showing them how wonderful this land is. How many people still need Five-0. How much they all love each other. Danny is amazed. Grace talks and talks. She has so many ideas. One of them is: Gracie will go to court with Danny and say she wanna be under Danny's sole custody (cause the situation and Gracie's feelings have changed so much). She says that the judge will listen to her and she doesn't need as much money as Rachel to win. Danny is speechless. Then Grace says: "We're staying here. Forever. We need to be more Hawaiian, daddy". She has a plan. Danny is very intrigued.

Danny and Grace, when they're with Ohana, pretend they are excited about Italy. Danny says he and Grace learn a lot about their "promised land" (nature, culture, whole history etc) and they also learn "language of love", "language of their Ohana" (Clara is happy and thinks about her mother 😂) with Captain Tanaka's help (his wife knows Italian and some other languages). Lou jokes that Tanaka helps Danny cause he never liked Danny much and that Tanaka is happy that Danny will leave this land. Danny laughs and only says "Maybe, maybe not". When they are like "So, maybe you'll show us your language skills?", Danny says "No, not now". And when they try to ask Mrs Tanaka about Danny's progress, she only joyfully says "He learns so fast, he's truly a brilliant mind, what a memory, what a voice, when he talks I can see all: the sun, the sea, sand, the wind... he melts my heart, he sounds... like his people. His level? He'll be native one day, I'm sure!". Rachel is happy. Steve is devastated.

One year later. Steve, Kono and so on organize the Farewell Party. With looooong tables, with a big stage and microphones (to say Aloha to all their people), with flowers and all that jazz. There are so many people there on the beach. All of them. Whole Ohana and their little Ohanas. All people who know Five-0: survivors (rescued - forever grateful - victims), Hawaiian people, Ruth, Dekker, Victoria models, guy from the gun store, aunt Deb and her Leonard, HPD, SWAT, Williamses, absolutely everyone. So, they all celebrate and then Amanda says "So, Daniel. Your language teacher claims you're a master now. It's time to prove it, right?". Rachel's face is like "Aww, Italy, we're coming. I only need Danny to like me hmmm how to change his mind...". Steve fights with his pain. Deb asks "Maybe some song for your Ohana?". Danny smiles. "For my Ohana, you say? Well, I did it all to save my Ohana so...". When he said "to save my Ohana" all eyes were on Rachel and Grace. Danny continues: "So yeah, I can sing for Ohana too. Come on, Monkey. We'll do it together".

So they all wait there to hear some Italian words but then, on stage, Gracie grabs something and... she starts playing on ukulele. Then Danny starts singing... in the absolutely Perfect and Beautiful Hawaiian. He's singing Hawai'i 78. Soon Gracie is singing with him. All people around are in damn shock 😂😂😂 Kawika, Mamo, Kono's mama, all native guys are like *we're sorry, our brains are now loading, please wait a while*. Chin, Kono, Danny's parents... Lou, Mary, Gerard, Odell, Kame, Sang Min 😂 They all CAN'T BELIEVE 😂 And Stevie... Gosh, he can't breathe. Somebody ventilate him, quickly! 😆 Rachel? She realizes that she lost.

When Danny and Grace sing "Cry for the gods, cry for the people, cry for the land that was taken away and then yet you'll find... Hawai'i" - Steve and their Ohana, they all have tears in their eyes.

Soon Danny and Grace sing (with sassy smiles on their faces) some other Hawaiian songs for Ohana and in the end they and Steve and all Ohana talk about their feelings, Gracie explains her and Danny's plan to save Ohana, Danny finally fights with his anxiety, insecurity and all other demons and asks all his sunshines to stay with him in Hawaii. He whispers Hawaiian "I love you" in Steve's ear. Ohana laughs, they ask if Danny is bewitched or what. He answers "By you guys, yeah".

Of course all will stay in their beloved land, Five-0 is safe, Ohana is safe, all are happy together. They cry and laugh. Rachel comes and starts ranting and shouting at Danny but then Gracie gives her a card and only says: "What? You'll take me away from Danno? Not this time. By the way, it's MY lawyer's number. Call him. Goodbye!". Steve needs some air again 😂 Clara and Eddie are soooo happy that Danny finally fights for himself SO MUCH. They understand all and Clara is like "Hmm, Eddie, maybe WE TOO will have a home here?" 😆 And Eddie is like "But they don't have Papa's Tomato Pies here, honey. And you know, I love our place in Jersey and... We can visit. They can visit. You know".

Okay, I just wanted to say that my random headcanon is that Danny loves Hawaii more and more and one day he wants to be "one of these people totally" so he learns Hawaiian. Because he CAN. And because he is like One Big Surprise. He's booooorn to be wiiiiiild 😂 (and here he's free thanks to Gracie, he's determined and motivated and "I'll show you all!" 💪💪💪).

General Opinion over said character:

Danny? Danny is The Sunshine. The Warrior. The Protector. Care Bear Number One. He's anxious and strong. He's sassy and kind. He's sensitive and BAMF! He's wise. He's a lovely dork. He's the best parent, son and friend ever. He's Steve's everything. He is a great cop/detective. He CARES about people so much (and much more than about himself). His heart is golden. He's precious. Soo precious. Ohana loves him. Fandom loves him. He deserves absolutely the best! ♥️♥️♥️ We all can write looooong essays about him and his kindest heart, right? 😍

[tfw-no-tennis]

one piece liveblog 807-810

yayyy

807!!

them just cutting to a feast and still not telling us what happened to sanji 👀👀 like I know what happened to sanji but its still juicy af

BROOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok brook legit has one of the best character designs in one piece (and that's saying a lot w/the competition), simply can't be beat

still w/the sanji remarks...the drama!!!!!!!!!!

everyone is accounted for EXCEPT sanji

HAHAHA the super foreboding 'corpse' wanda mentioned was just brook lmfao

hahahaha and the dog minks love brook, of course. and zoro is just like Tell Me Less Please.

law just fucking off to the forest lmao mood

oooohohh the offscreen explanation oooohhhh

goddd I love that nami recognizes how bad the situation is - how this is actually WORSE than if sanji had Actually been physically kidnapped

but okay pretending idk where sanji went the tension is insaaaane and The Plot Thickens when u hear sanji left a note and left on purpose HMMMM so juicy

ITS ONLY BEEN 11 DAYS.....JEEEEESUS LOL

didn't dressrosa take like 5 years irl lmfao

flashback babeyyyyy

ooooh I love big moms flagship. so creepy. I love the whole 'evil-er willy wonka/disney' schtick she has going on

omfg I forgot abt caesar, just like luffy did

yeessssss I love seeing the crew fight together sooo much I wish it happened more instead of individual fights. It should be like DND where they take turns lol

namiiiii I love her and her weather powers sm

HAHAHAHA nami acting all humble but saying 'I admit, the credit's all mine' I love her SO MUCHHHH lmao

also I LOVE the rest of the straw hats hyping them up :')

chopper getting to do Dr stuff yayayayayay

nami and wanda gay asf js

OUGHGHGHGH LAW REUNITING W/HIS CREW OUGHHHHHH

also I was CONVINCED that law was doomed to die sometime after dressrosa (for multiple reasons, one being that his power is so OP lmao) so seeing this I was like OH NO HE DOESN'T HAVE LONG LEFT...lmao

I thot he'd die in wano but now that he didn't I'm like okay he's fine actually lol

oooh it's crazy to get to see all this wano-related stuff now that wano is like. actually over lol

and we still don't see what happened to sanji yet lol

chapter 808!!!

KAYA AND THE KIDS W USOPPS POSTER WWWWWWWWWWWWWW

oh shittttt jack

wow they have a lot of themes going on huh. you have the cards thing, and the mythical/prehistoric animals thing, and the 'calamities' thing. extraaa

this man is named sheepshead....that's a fish bro

gin-rummy...more card game names lol

apparently sheepshead is also a game but idk I think everyone's first thought would be Fish (

them arguing over terminology w/samurai vs ninja lmfao not the time dudes

oh shit fuck it up minks

luffy not reading the room at all and being excited that there's a mammoth hvhbajdfvshjbfbajdsdf I love him sm did u know

I love usopp and luffy's relationship sm ooooobh

HAHAHA NOOOO LUFFY JUST BLOWING BY ALL THE SUBTLTY

classic

everyone just whaling on luffy hvbjadkfbskjdfn

inuarashi!!! I was actually so confused by the english translation names lmao

caesar just fucking things up lmao

chapter 809!!

omfg inuarashi wanting to chew on brook too bc he's a dog mink lmaoooooo

'not later either!!' LMFAOOOOOOO

luffy going CAESAAAAAAAR is giving me jojo part 2 flashbacks

omg they met shanks :D

luffys like OH SHHIT MY DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

inuarashi falling asleep mid convo lmao

luffy like prying his jaw open while chopper tries to stop him. classic

omg fellow nocturnals<3

flashbackkkkkk!

ooooh musketeers

inuarashi badass moments

jack's the first person we hear about w/a billion+ bounty, right??

nekomamushi fuuuuck yea

i love one piece fights ngl

chapter 810!!!

ooooh we see the baratie w/sanji's new 'only alive' wanted poster!! 'lots of questions' indeed...

jack kinda looks like axe hand morgan w/that jaw hvjddhskbjlf

oomg bepo and the heart pirates fighting for zou 😭😭😭 wuv them

damnnn they fought for 5 days

luffy just sitting on inuarashi lmao

luv that luffy is Just A Little Guy and its more and more obvious as the series progresses bc everyone starts getting larger like the story is advancing along some sort of megafauna gradient

damnnnn they're out here breaking the geneva convention

nekomamushi cursing jack as he 'dies' is dope as fuck

this is starting to feel like a christian creation myth lol. 'and on the sixth day, the devil left our lands...'

inuarashi saying that doflamingo and jack 'must be bound by some deep connection' makes it sound like they're gay married lmfao

awww luffy defeating doflamingo indirectly made jack leave and stop murdering everyone on zou, nice

OH SHIT FLASHBACK!!!! sanjis there 👀

that shot w/brook chopper nami sanji momo and caesar like lmao caesar rlly thinks he's on the team....

caesar saying 'you will rue the day!'....neville icarly moment

brook's outfits are always cool as fuuuuck

nami immediately jumping into action to help the squirrel girl <333

and telling brook to fight the guy chasing her and brook is like sure thing <3333 ilove them

brook is so fucking cool I wish he got more to do in the story. I'm glad he gets to be dope in wci

oh hi pedro! everyone looks like they've seen better days huh

damn especially inuarashi and nekomamushi...I forgot the had limbs chopped off 😬 ouch

exciting flashback developments!!!!! more to come 👀

[salsatabasco]

Hi friend just to tell you that one piece is my favorite piece of media I have ever encountered.

The live action change some things but the key moments and the feelings of the characters of the story are all there. That’s why so many fans of the story love the live action.

I’m more of a manga reader but I have seen some scenes of the anime and it seems to be very good.

Also, I think a lot of the fans of one piece would tell you that if you feel is too long, when you are gonna be actually in the story you are gonna want to be way more longer.

I recommend you if you want to watch some videos of melontee about one piece that are quite good in my opinion and clear a lot of doubts about lot of people has with the story.

I’m glad you are liking the live action and I hope you had a great time with the finale.

Just to let you know(if you don’t) the live action is 8 episodes long that takes the story of 100chapters of the manga and 42 episodes of the anime.

I finished it yesterday, once I got to sanji's and nani's back stories I couldn't stop. i really enjoyed it. and what do you mean 8 episodes of the live action account for 100 chapters of the manga??? jeeeeesus

one of my best friends is a one piece mega fan so he's always been annoying me to read the manga, he has many complains about the anime's pacing and filler episodes, and I guess I'll read the manga cause I cannot do filler episodes and I don't have the motivation right now to watch over 1000, then I just might have to look up the best fights and moments animated

I've always know in the back of my mind that I'll end up reading it, my friends loves it sopoo much that I would have to eventually haha but I guess that moment is now haha

[xpeachesncream]

first position | one shot

summary: your bestfriend’s ex ain’t shit, especially if he’s never made her orgasm. (based on this ask)

pairing: jungkook x reader x reader’s bestfriend

genre: (18+) college au | smut

words: 2.3k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, alcohol consumption, marijuana use, threesome, protected sex, multiple orgasms, breast play, oral (f. receiving), cum eating, ass smacking, pussy smacking, doggy style, hair pulling, slightly rough sex

note: drew some inspiration from lani’s ��first position” song (linked above); please know that this is an entirely new level of smut for me so i apologize if shit sounds kind of off. super unfamiliar with threesome scenes, but i did my best to read up on actual accounts to see what people describe it to be like ahaha ALSO - wips are updated, feel free to see what my messy brain is working up nowadays lol enjoy ya’ll 🤓 this goes out to you, anon! i tried! lol

"Baby, open up!" Jungkook says, knocking on your door. You stumble a bit, laughing with your bestfriend. You both had been drinking wine all night and shared a blunt together before calling your boyfriend, whining for some food.

"Gookieeee." You giggle as you open the door and throw your arms around his neck. He pulls back to kiss you on the lips before helping himself inside and tossing off his shoes.

"Jungkook! The savior!" Your bestfriend says as he sets the food down onto the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, yeah. Thank me later. I'd rather grab the food then let you two drunkies head out like this."

"We aren't drunk, silly."

"Okay." He chuckles as he plops onto the couch, manspreading as he flips the channel on your tv to the Warriors vs. Pacers basketball game. "That's more I like it."

"Excuse me." You say as you shove fries into your mouth, your bestfriend devouring her burger next to you in the kitchen. "You're getting comfortable."

"Mhm, I sure am."

"Babe, it's a girl's night."

"Mm no, it's no longer a girl's night after my babygirl asks me to leave the comfort of my bed just to bring her food."

"Sorry to interrupt your jacking off session."

"Yeah, exactly." He says. "What'd you guys drink tonight?"

"Wine, wine and more wine. Smoked a blunt too." He laughs.

"Time of your lives, ey?"

"Lana just got dumped by that ungrateful dumbass, of course I gotta treat her."

"Hey, for what it's worth Lana - Namjoon didn't deserve you." He looks at your bestfriend, sympathy poking through his facial expression. Lana and Namjoon had been dating on and off for almost 2.5 years until that stupid ass decided he wanted to cheat and pursue other women like he had it like that. He for sure didn't though. He couldn't even make Lana cum properly. At all, even.

"Yeah, he didn't even know how to make you cum." Jungkook's eyes widened.

"The fuck?" He chuckled. "Really? After all these years?"

"Um, yeah. I guess that's just how he gets down." She says shyly. She was so innocent, being that she hadn't really been in a relationship besides with Namjoon. She hadn't explored much being that he was so narrow minded and she did a lot to keep him happy in the relationship.

"So.. would you like, fake it?" Jungkook asks, curiosity in his eyes.

"No, she wouldn't even get there babe!"

"Huh?" He's utterly confused and he's not even trying to hide it.

"He would like, you know, do it until he came then that was it."

"Huh." He nods. "He wouldn't even try? Interesting." Kook says, making you laugh. "I make Y/N cum at least 5 times a day."

"Shut the fuck up, boy. No you don't." You throw a fry at him.

"Boohoo, okay. It's like 3 at the very least. I could make her cum more but she's always crying for me to stop cause she can't take it." You raise your middle finger at your boyfriend.

"H-how does it feel?"

"To cum?" Kook asks.

"Euphoric. Like no other." You respond. Jungkook looks at you, then back at her, a little turned on by the conversation. Lana was pretty, and she definitely deserved better as both you and Kook stated. She was innocent at best, but you knew she was curious.

"I wish I knew." She says, sipping on more wine, making a bright idea pop into your head.

"Hey." You lightly squeeze her side. "I have an idea, but it's totally okay if you don't wanna go with it. I don't wanna make you do something you aren't comfortable with."

"Hm?" She hums as she watches you give Jungkook a small smirk that he returns. He honestly doesn't know what your crazy ass is thinking about, but whatever it is, he's down. He always is, and that's what he loved about you - you were always down, and you taught him that. Life's too fucking short.

"Let's put you on." You say nodding to the room. "Let me and Kook show you what it's like." Jungkook almost chokes on his water.

"I-I— like a threesome? I don't know, I'm not that experienced, I wouldn't—"

"Girl, we'll guide you through it."

"But Jungkook, he's your boyfriend, I can't—"

"And that's not gonna change. He's down, trust me. Look at his stupidly cute face." You both turn to him, his doe eyes wide with a huge smile plastered on his face.

"Seriously though, Lana. If you aren't comfortable—" Jungkook chimes in, reassuring her.

"I'm down." She spits out and nods. "I'm down. Let's do it. As long as things don't change between us."

"It won't, I promise, okay?" You grab her hand and lead her to your room.

"Oh shit." Jungkook says, throwing the remote aside to catch you two. He walks in and stops at the door frame, watching you two sit on your bed. Honestly, he was down but he was also still feeling a little concerned about how this would go down. Of course, he was the only sober one here, you two being crossfaded almost out of your minds and more relaxed than he was. He didn't really have an issue though. As long as nothing changed between you, Lana and himself, then things would be fine. Especially between Lana and you. You had been bestfriends since college started.

He didn't think it would though, so fuck it.

"Just, follow along. Okay? If you're ever uncomfortable or want us to stop, just say so."

"Say ex or something weird." Jungkook spits out.

"Um, okay." You sit up on your knees as she leans back into your pillows, and gently start feeling up her arms.

"Relax, Lana." You say at a whisper, your lips about to fall onto hers. She takes the kiss as it builds up slowly. You feel her ease up, her arms climbing up yours as her tongue begins to explore and fight yours for dominance.

"Jeeeeesus fucking christ." Jungkook says, swiping his hand down his face as he continues to watch you and Lana tongue each other down. He felt himself getting harder by the minute, watching as the sound of sloppy, wet kisses began to fill the room and your shirts began to fly off. You pull away for a second to look back at him and signal for him to come over, his baggy long sleeve immediately coming off as he climbs onto the bed. You direct Lana to release your bra as you with hers. You're practically straddling her at this point, Jungkook's hands now roaming up your body. His hand grips your neck as he tilts it back, laying kisses along your jaw before nibbling your earlobe. You let out a breathy moan, your hips grinding against Lana's, causing her to bite her lip and let out a small moan as your hands begin to feel up on her breasts.

"Lay back." You say softly, Lana silently following the order. You begin to take off her leggings, throwing them across your room as Kook is gently laying kisses down your back. "Behind me, babe." You give him a quick look with Jungkook fully understanding the request. He steps off the bed, giving you space to lower yourself onto Lana's clothed clit. You press your lips against it while Jungkook is wrestling to take off your sweats and toss them aside, his fingers already getting busy with rubbing your clothed pussy as he tries to work with it from behind you and off the bed. Lana lets out a moan as she watches you closely, your finger hooking her panties to the side and your tongue giving her pussy a good swipe up. She trembles a bit with the contact, but settles quickly as you begin to work your mouth against her folds, then back up to her clit.

"Ohhhh shit. He's never done it like that." Lana says as she lets out a few breaths. You moan against her clit as Jungkook is now pumping his digits in and out of you quickly, his tongue continuously teasing, tip penetrating your entrance whenever his digits aren't doing the work. Lana's hips begin to buck upwards and grind onto your tongue, fucking her pussy more and more into this unfamiliar pleasure. "Oh fuck, oh my god! I don't know if I can do this." She whines as she grips the sheets, her knuckles turning white. You nod, signaling for her to let go as your tongue is now teasing her clit, working in up and down motions.

"Fuck, Kook!" You manage to spit out. You're so fucking turned on by the sight in your bedroom right now, and you have no idea if it's because you're pretty crossfaded, but this shit was pretty and all you wanted to do was feel good and make your bestfriend feel good. After all, she deserves to feel it once in her lifetime and if Namjoon wasn't gonna do that shit, then you'd gladly be the one to let her experience it.

"Cum for me, baby." He says as he quickly pulls back to give your pussy a good smack before he latches on again. "Let me feel it." The words alone, along with your moaning into Lana's clit, sends her over, her body trembling graciously in your grip.

"Fuck! What the fuck!" She screams, whining moans leaving her mouth quickly afterwards. You soon let yourself go, detaching yourself from her clit, your body trembling on all fours with Jungkook rubbing your clit like there's no tomorrow. The pain quickly turns into more pleasure, you crashing your body ontop of Lana's as you both try to regulate your breathing and come back down from your highs. Jungkook is hard as a fucking rock seeing the both of you completely fucked out already, especially you having done work on Lana at the same time as he pleased you.

"What do I do next?" You look at her as you finally gain the energy to raise your body a bit, shaking your head.

"Stay. Kook, get in her first." Jungkook is already unwrapping the first condom and sliding it down his dick.

"You both okay?" He manages to ask, Lana simply giving him a nod as he warns her with a tap of his reddened tip against her folds. "I'll take it slow. You just let me know what you want." You smirk down at her.

"Use him, Lana."

"W-what?" Her back slightly arches as her eyes roll to the back of her head feeling Jungkook fill her up. Although she had agreed to it, she didn't think her first fuck out of a relationship was gonna be with you and your boyfriend. Let alone did she ever think Jungkook would be penetrating her the way he was right now.

But fuck it. There's a first for everything.

"Use him." You repeat as you situate yourself on top of her, your lips landing back on hers with Jungkook's hand in your hair. "Tell him what you want to make you cum again."

"F-faster." She spits out in between kisses. Jungkook obeys, his thrusts now becoming quicker.

"Shit, dude." He says, his head tilting back in pleasure. "This is so fucking hot." You lower yourself a bit, your mouth latching onto her nipples one by one. You tease her a bit, your tongue flicking in and around her hardened bud, smirking into it when you hear her let out a loud moan.

"Fuck, yes. Please. Just like that." She begs. "Rougher please." You pull back on her nipple with a pop, lightly blowing air onto it as Jungkook begins to sloppily ram into her pussy. Caressing her skin, you can feel the goosebumps radiating throughout her body before you lower yourself back down onto her other nipple and repeat the process.

"Cum, Lana." Jungkook groans. "Cum all over this dick. It's your playing field right now." You smirk as your tongue continues to tease her nipple, her moans getting louder the more he hammers into her.

"Cum, babe." You say as you hop off and reach down to rub her clit. With just a few rubs, she's hurdling over the edge, her body trembling once more as she yells.

"Holy fuck! Ugghhhhhffffgod." Her breathing hitching as the aftershocks ripple through her.

"On your knees, babygirl." Jungkook orders you to get on your fours while switching out the condom to a new one, Lana slowly slipping out from under you to get on her fours and face you. Jungkook doesn't waste any time, roughly inserting himself into you and filling you up until he bottoms out. He feels a little more comfortable, knowing he can roughhouse the fuck out of you more than he could with Lana, so he begins to hammer into you and tug onto your hair at the same time.

"Jungkook, fuck." You moan, his large hand smacking your ass as he quickens his pace. Lana's now planting kisses along your neck while Jungkook holds you steady with your hair, her hands roaming around your breasts and giving them a good, gentle squeeze.

"Shit, I-I'm gonna cum soon." He says, biting his bottom lip. "Cum with me baby." He moans. Lana's hand travels down to your clit, copying what she's learned from you by rubbing it in circular motions.

"Ohhhhhhgod, yes!" You moan, but aren't able to release any other noise afterwards. You continue to whine as the loud, lewd noises of skin against skin continue filling the room. Sooner or later, you feel yourself unraveling, Jungkook's nails digging deep into your hips while Lana continues to rub your clit gently to help you ride out your high. "Oh my fucking god." You say as you try to regulate your breathing. Lana immediately throws her panties and her clothes back on, feeling shy with Jungkook being in the room.

"How'd that feel?" He says, throwing on his clothes while handing you yours. You look at her and smirk, licking your bottom lip.

"Good, I hope." Lana chuckles.

"Fucking amazing."

"Maybe we should do this more often."

"Baby, wait." Jungkook laughs. "You're fucking wild."

"She is, isn't she?" Lana rolls her eyes playfully.

"Hey, at least we gave you the ride of your life." You all make your way out of the room to get a little air and step away from the post sex-smelling room. "Next time I see Namjoon, I'll let him know what you look like when you cum." 

[mountainmaster489]

Does Mikhail swear much?

Hi, Anon. Thanks for question😉 Yeah,often😂 But I don't think Misha is a rude, almost all of his swears are intended for Yuri, who is incredibly annoying😞 Also, Aaron and Sudo got into the company of the cursed, not without reason. However, they were only slightly hurt😎

チッ - shit; dang; crap; dammit; tsk

About Aaron: 三下 - petty underling; petty fry; small fry; lower-level member of an organization; lower-level people

くそっ - bullshit; shit; damn 畜生...っ - brute (contemptible human being); scum; beast; bastard; damn it

野郎 - bastard; asshole; arsehole; son of a bitch ムッツリのド変態野郎 - perverted bastard who doesn't publicly show it (hiding his perverse nature); gloomy perverted bastard クソー - bullshit; shit; damn; fuck チクショー - slang, when the man lost in a fight or game, and frustrated or mortified; Fuuuuuuuck!; Shiiiiiiiiit!; Jeeeeesus!; Goddamn!

About Sudo: オカマ野郎 - effeminate (effeminate man, male transvestite) bastard (asshole; arsehole; son of a bitch)

テメェ - (vulgar, male) you; you son of a bitch; you bastard; motherfucker

変態野郎 - perverted bastard

変態オヤジ - perverted old man

クッ - SFX for "damn it" like a silent curse; mumble under the breath when in a difficult situation

クソ変態野郎 - fucking perverted bastard

Please, enjoy, hope I haven't missed anything🐻

[vaguely-concerned]

UNCHARTED 4 REACTIONS

- uuuh can I just… find out who the FUCK looked at tiny beautiful baby boy Nate and decided to leave him with a bunch of nuns who don’t get why other kids telling him his mom’s in hell because she committed suicide would upset him??????? Like I don’t know who his biological father is but I feel a strong need to divest him of his kneecaps. (C’mon Sully with your con man expertise and my vengeful nature we could figure this out between us)

- Sam reminds me a lot of one of my uncles. I’m not sure what to do with that except applaud Naughty Dog on their eye for people ha ha. I guess everyone has that slightly sleazy and self absorbed yet periodically charming and decent man in their lives. (Can I point out how amazing his costume design is, in a way you rarely see? He’s one of those dudes who look rumpled wearing pretty much anything, everything is so unflattering on him it’s a miracle. Contrast his and Sully’s outfits in the Scotland section — what they’re actually wearing isn’t that dissimilar and Sully is like twice Sam’s age but looks a) stylish, b) warm and c) Incredibly American somehow while Sam looks like a bum and it’s  h i l a r i o u s.)

- When bb Nate’s face already does the thing where he goes from genuinely upset to dissembling smile… no… ow…  

- “You only pull something like this when you’re trying to make up for something” lasjfdlsakjfslkdjfalskj my soul has left my body and I am crying hot saltwater tears

- a) Nadine is just so incredibly, vibrantly beautiful and I feel like sending a thank you note to the offices of Naughty Dog for putting her face and overarms on my screen, b) she’s already completely done with everything and we’re not even halfway through the game, c) she’s awfully uppity about Chloe’s methods for someone whose instinctual approach to archaeology is ‘dynamite’

- NATE PLAYING CRASH BANDICOOT

THE MOST PRECIOUS SHIT

I’VE EVER LAID MY EYES ON

“THIS IS TAKING VERY LONG” THIS BLESSED ADHD BOY

- OKAY NAUGHTY DOG YOU’VE GONE AND DONE IT I’M ROOTING FOR THE HETS

- the note from Chloe in the attic :( :( :( I feel bad for her even though she eventually upgraded big time on the spouse material, she does like him a lot even if they didn’t make each other very happy.

Can you imagine if Nate and Chloe had actually stayed together tho. They’d have the smartest, snarkiest, most-unprepared-to-deal-with-emotions children in history lol just as well things worked out like they did, probably

- did u guys know… that I would die for nathan drake… I mean you all probably do by now because I never shut up about it but it bears repeating… I would….  

- oh no… nate no… don’t lie to elena she not only tolerates you she loves you despite the warning signs don’t throw this away

- It’s very impressive that they’ve managed to show that Sam genuinely does love Nate a lot while also making it clear how easily he tips into being a toxic influence — it makes all the psychological sense in the world that he’s trying to emulate the relationship they had when they were at their closest and only had each other, but purposefully trying to drive Nate away from the other people who love him is just… so perfectly the worst possible thing to do to him, jeeeeesus christ. No wonder he and Sully don’t get along — Sully is wonderfully protective without being possessive

- When Sam asks Sully why he’s there and it’s like… because… he’s HIS FUCKN DAD SAM???! YOU NUMBSKULL???!!? YOU ABSOLUTE FOOL??!?!

- All my fanfic wants for these games are so lame and low-key… like ‘the first time a teenaged Nate comes back to the hotel drunk as a total emotional mess, and Sully being like ‘oh wow… oh god… help… he’s like a tiny puppy I need to protect him being a parent is terrifying’... ‘Nadine and Chloe have a nice night in and make sweet character developing love, maybe braid each other’s hair and get in a fist fight with some dude’... ‘the gang go to an amusement park, have a good time, Charlie gets cotton candy and makes fun of Nate’...

(actually what I really, really want is a fic of Sully surreptitiously picking up the pieces of Nate after Sam ‘dies’, but, y’know. The heart wants what it wants and mine wants Nate to be taken care of)

- Sully’s face when he drops them off in Scotland… goddamn it he loves that boy so much ;___;

- The only illustration of Sam’s personality that matters is that he thinks  S u l l y  of all people might screw Nate over while thinking he can work with Rafe without it all going to hell

Just… the worst judge of character ever lol how’s that projection working out for you Sammy boy

- I played some multiplayer and Elena really has just the warmest, most reassuring presence, I absolutely see what Nate sees there ha ha

Also I love what they’ve done with her clothes, all her outfits are plausible and non-sexualized and look so chill and comfortable

- Nate’s high-pitched nervous laugh is everything to me, such a deeply endearing character tic

- Sam… you dumbass… when will you learn that the real treasure… is your little brother and his happiness…

- I have to applaud Troy Baker for his work here — he matches Nolan North’s speech patterns and timbre as Nate so well, you absolutely believe they’re brothers. (Also between them they’re like… 90% of all male characters in video games, it’s a wonder the fabric of reality isn’t fraying with two giants in such close proximity)

- Shoutout to my boy Charlie for getting one (1) whole reference in this entire game! Naughty Dog may have forgotten you but the face you pulled at Nathan in the scene with the torches will stay with me forever, you big British lug <3

- I LOVE that Nate and Sam still use ‘Father Duffy’ like you would ‘Goody Two-shoes’ or the ‘dad’ in a sarcastic ‘thanks, dad’, it’s an authentic-feeling kind of in-joke

- Nate’s journal entries are SO FUNNY in this one oh my god. I’m so happy they’re acknowledging that he’s actually an excellent artist, I hope he ends up with a sideline in making illustrated children’s books. (I have since learned they were drawn by Naughty Dog artist Alexandria Neonakis. From the bottom of my heart: thank you for everything, especially Lemur Sully)

- Gideon Emery is wasted — WASTED — in the role of ‘random goon #43’ yet again,  but whatever, at least I got to hear his voice

- Sam’s supremely shitty tattoos give me life

- I realized during the Madagascar opening that in all likelihood the person who taught Nate to drive was Sully and can I just say… this reinforces my theory that Sully is the real hero of the Uncharted games because can you imagine taking on that responsibility for Nathan ‘Adrenaline Junkie Whoops Everything I Touch Explodes and Collapses’ Drake? No, because you and I don’t have what it takes to live that life but Victor Sullivan does

- It feels like they went a bit more naturalistic with the dialogue and characterization in this one? (As naturalistic as you can go with great big undiscovered cathedrals/pirate recruiting hubs under Scotland, anyway. Scotland ain’t that big, yo, pretty sure someone would have spotted it lol) I actually enjoyed it — U3 is still pretty much an Indiana Jones-esque adventure story with some purposefully discordant notes when you get to know Nate’s real backstory and stuff like that, but this feels all round a bit more grounded in reality and characters and it works

- Sully ineffectually keeping a grip on Nate’s shirt while he’s scrabbling to get back into the driver’s seat after the car goes off the cliff ascended my soul to a higher dimension. Big mood.

Also genuinely laughed for five minutes at Sam, lapsed Catholic and born opportunist, getting in as many Hail Marys as he could just in case he was about to die. I’m an atheist from a half-halfheartedly Protestant country but even I am pretty sure that’s not how it works buddy

- Nate’s continual refusal to think ahead enough to carry his own matches (and being saved by surrounding himself with smokers) is one of the most satisfying running jokes in the series

- “Lemurs, Sully!” “Rabies, Nate” fsdajfkljdaskjhasjkhfasjdk

*cries helplessly like a little baby because I love everyone in this bar*

- I must say the clock tower felt like one of Nate’s most catastrophic onsets of… Nateness. That delicate complicated piece of machinery was still functioning perfectly after four hundred years and yet… Nate’s in there for five minutes and it crumbles like paper. I guess technically sinking the entirety of a city into the sand beats it, but… I keep coming back to the image of the cracked bell and then *high pitched giddy voice* “Hi Sully” JFC Nate ha ha

- *screams as Nate sends Sully and Elena away, literally turning to the adrenaline/treasure hunting madness he used to cope with trauma before he managed to work up to emotional intimacy with people who care about him because Sam is a jackass who knew exactly what buttons to press and is weirdly possessive of his little brother*

- You know… forgiving Sam is so hard when he repeatedly doubles down on his lies, making up further details unprovoked, because he knows it keeps Nate hooked and feeling guilty? Like Nate is far enough along in his character development at this point that just waving some treasure under his nose alone wouldn’t do it, you need that illusion that he’s saving someone he loves — the first person he ever relied on, who he thought he lost once because he failed him — to make him keep going, and Sam knows this and uses it and it’s so horribly, calculatedly cruel? I think there are a few times where he kind of wants to come clean (uh already too late because what the HELL he’s already fucked up all his relationships lol) only to be interrupted by Action but in the end it’s a deliberate, long con of assholery that it’s extremely difficult to look past. Ah well I guess he’s stuck as my ‘I will mercilessly yet affectionately mock you’ character, that’s something.

- Aaagh the scene where Elena’s like ‘who are you’ is so good because it must be such a blow, knowing this man she loves and (bravely, because he is a disaster magnet) made the choice to try to make a life with for the second time still thinks he needs to lie to her, like he’s been lying to the world at large for most of his life — his name is a lie, so much of his outer identity is invented, but hey she wouldn’t have married him if she didn’t think they were past that this time and trusted each other with honesty… and then out of the blue a dead-yet-still-somehow-smoking-a-sketchy-cigarette brother???? Normally the ‘what else have you been lying about’ line makes me roll my eyes but she is ABSOLUTELY right to wonder about that and it breaks my heart

as does Nate going ‘I’m just me’ in that voice aaaaaaauuuuuugh he does try but he’s not completely at the point where he thinks he can be acceptable and loved as he is, no need to hide the broken things, still that kid learning that it’s better to not be seen or tell the truth because it just makes things worse

(I feel it’s a good balance between ‘protagonist making some DUMB SELF-DESTRUCTIVE CHOICES LIKE AN IDIOT’ and ‘makes perfect, tragic sense considering their history’, ending up at sympathetic but still in the wrong and in need of getting it the hell together in a hurry. At least he clearly realizes he’s fucked up pretty much immediately, which is something I GUESS)

TL;DR Nate, listen to Sully and go talk it out with your wife, I’m real upset now I’ll go make myself a cup of tea ;____;

- Sam was straight up going to shoot Nadine in the head, huh. I mean… wow. I wonder why she doesn’t like you very much, bro lol

- I’m a Black Sails fan so whenever Anne Bonny shows up I’m like *golden retriever face* HI FRIEND HI sorry about the... poison

- ...is it weird that I want to write fix it fic for Evelyn and Ken

All his letters are so  c u t e  and loving and I am devastated

Puzzling their story together like that was super effective too — it was so cool that if you know what to look for you could find the Tokugawa armor he mentions in the first letter before any other clues, I was going ‘Oh she totally married that beautiful nerd’ right there and then ha ha. Evelyn’s design was wonderful, you could tell the force of nature she must have been in her prime.

Bonus points for Nate looking up at her like a puppy who’s found someone really cool to aspire to. Also their father looks nominally less of a rampant unrepentant asshole if he sold Cassandra’s things specifically to her mentor. Microscopically. I’d still like to kick his ass tho.

- I guess Sam is three to five years older than Nate, then, if he remembers (vaguely) going to Windsor before Nate was even born? Bit hazy on the timeline here, because Nate’s memories of their parents — especially their mum — must be quite hazy if, like Marlowe states in U3, he was surrendered to the state at the age of five and they moved around with their dad a lot even before that.

- Nate was the most tired-looking twelve year old I have ever seen and it hurts me

The fact that Nate started off looking exhausted and a little snub-nosed and grew into a very handsome and charming young man (ssssh I’m in no way biased here just because he’s my son) while Sam was sweet and bright-eyed as a teenager and now looks like someone who is low-key dealing drugs around the local high school… this game is truly a tour de force of character design

- So apparently Shoreline was already off to a bad start when Nadine took over? That makes it doubly sad that she’s judging herself so harshly for losing it when her father had already left it to her as a mess :(

- THANK YOU ELENA AND SULLY FOR SAVING THIS WONDERFUL FOOLISH BOY YET AGAIN. “I left my life for you”  D: D: D:

Also slightly sad that Sam has… literally nothing except Nate and Avery’s treasure? On the other hand that’s entirely his own fault so. Less sad. (Makes me immensely thankful Sully and then Elena found Nate when they did)

- Nate… using his words… cautiously expressing how he actually felt… Elena mulling it over… realizing part of why she loves him is that weird restless brain of his doing its thing……. coming up with a solution where they can solve it as partners in the ending………... I am clinically ded, go on without me

- Realest GPOY moment: Sully’s flat immediate ‘no’ to Nate going off to save Sam on his own. He’s so scared!!!! And so was I!!!! My soul bond with an American con man three times my age continues to be unbreakable

- Relieved that my sister was in control for the fencing bit, because I don’t know if I could handle being responsible for Nate’s safety like that

That said, how destroyed was I that Nate didn’t really start fighting back before Rafe threatened his family? Completely, though it does force me to take the words ‘ludonarrative dissonance’ in my mouth for the first time in my life — no way does he kill as many people in the reality of the story as you do in gameplay if he’s still this hesitant to respond to someone openly trying to murder him lol. I realize this is a game and they need some kind of pretense to keep it from being a movie with the occasional QTE, but Naughty Dog you can’t just… repeatedly show that Nate has a hard time killing in cold blood and then have him take out an army in the next breath

(Naughty Dog: We did and you’re completely willing to go with it lawl. Me: Oooooh I hate that you’re right)

- Nadine stone cold leaving those bitches behind Worked for me, you do you you beautiful disaster, see you next game with your excellent character development. Another wonderful thread they continue into The Lost Legacy: Sam being forever relegated to the back seat. Yes good.  

- Sully promptly semi-adopting a second Drake brother, arguably the tougher case. A power move if ever I saw one.

- I deeply respect Naughty Dog’s decision to make an epilogue to let me know everyone is safe and happy and it all turned out okay, but I also wish they wouldn’t have ha ha. The last scene with Elena and Nate perfectly set that up for me already, specifically spelling out one happy ending among the many that could have happened actually somewhat cheapened it for me? The ‘flash forward, now they have children, get immediately invested!’ move is already suuuuch a hard one to pull off and I think it did it about as well as they possibly could, but somehow I also begrudge Cassie for her position in the narrative and that’s not how I want to feel about it, y’know? Actually it’s fine, I’ll accept it, because their dog is named Vicky and Nate writes in his journal that he’d call his pet lemur Victor and it made my entire week

- Having played three of the games I can still say that Uncharted 3 is definitely my fave, but then parts of that seem genuinely tailor made specifically for me, so that’s not really a surprise ha ha

- Thank you, Uncharted, for being the emotionally intelligent yet light hearted adventure story with lovable characters I needed in this dark cold winter and making me spill over with so many flaily happy words. 

[annarcana]

Nerdbait in Space.

If you were to sit down and write a movie specifically to appeal to me, Ann Arcana, personally, it would be very hard to compete with Thor: Ragnarok without just being another Blade Runner movie. (sidebar: BR2049 is a work of staggering genius and a breathtaking portrayal of dysphoria and dehumanization and yes I will fight you)

Also, on paper, the very idea of this movie is insane and basically couldn’t have happened if Guardians hadn’t. 

"So, I want to take your big expensive franchise, blow everything up and turn it into a goofy sci-fi comedy space adventure. Visually, I'm thinking ... Jack Kirby's Fourth World meets Tron, oh, and we'll have an 80s retro synth soundtrack by the guy from Devo."

I love Guardians 1 & 2, but ... this is the one that pushed more of my nerd buttons. Sakkaar is just the kind of sci-fi weird only comic books and Douglas Adams ever seemed to pull off or even try, the comedy is great, Valkyrie kicks ass, Thor finally managed to be charmingly arrogant for the first time since the original instead of just “Shakespeare in the Park”, and jeeeeesus the soundtrack is beautiful. Mark Mothersbaugh forever. 

I think if I’m putting on my “serious student of film” hat I’d have to admit it’s in some ways weaker than other films in the franchise, but honestly so much of this film is colossal nerdbait for me, Ann Arcana, specifically, that it’s hard to be more critical about these things.

Go, see, have fun.

[were-cheetah-stiles]

I loved it ok? I really really did. Also, damn, another 3/4 years to go before that sneak? Jeeeeesus 😂😂 I loved Hitman's Bodyguard, and I can't wait to see Kingsman, I'll probs go next week so you'll need to let me know if it's any good!

I'm glad you loved it ☺️yea, another 3/4 years. sorrrrry. Hitman's Bodyguard was v v funny with surprisingly great fight sequences. dont be surprised if Mitch fucks a dude up with an axe in the future. 😉and yo, to nobodies surprise at all, Kingsmen was so dope. i definitely recommend seeing it.

[aspaceform3]

9 of December, one day before my 27th birthday.

Oh me, you 23 year old me. Lord jeeeeesus what is about to hit you! all the things you fight daily have names! you're not alone! you have a therapist you enjoy!!! YOU WORK YOUR ASS OFF TO FIGHT OFF A BRAIN THAT WONT COLABORATE BC YOUVE BEEN SEVERELY TRAUMATIZED

and you dont seem to remember much of it after you left your abusive home. IT WAS ABUSE, you were RIGHT ALL ALONG.

You've created an instagram account that helps people know themeselves as autistics,you're also in that process bc well, didnt have the energy to do so before!

YOU WERE A BABY. Baby BABY BABBBYYYY, STILL ARE A BABY.

But dAMN 27? Are we here? WELL...kinda feels a lot more mature? You def do NOT lose your time thinking of boys like you used to, bc now your work is faaar more interesting and lovely after knowing so much shit about nT and boys behaviour...they all cause trouble in my head.

I obsess with them bc my brain NEEDS some oxitocyn after god knows how many years without it.

yOU GOT YOUrself a DOG BESTI!!!!!! A DOGGOOO

and he LOVEEEESS YOUUU SO SO SO MUCH!!!!

and he also puts you in irritationland QUICK if he dares to move too much or lick himself. Weird autistic me acting as herself.

oh, your brain? still depressed, MOST ON THE START OF THE MONTH BC YOUVE GOT PMDD!!!!!!!

WE KNOW THAT KNOW!!!!

Also seasonal affective disorder. Yeah oh and your normal depression. Jajah, you're fucked in the head as TS might say.

Speaking of head, being up in there tooooo often is just...not right for your mental health, you cant seem to connect your dark thoughts with thenone that speaks them away...well work on it.

YOU! KNOW! yourself! SO MUCH NOW!

and stilll have no idea when you think what you like to do for fun...bc that has been takien from you, just like parents that will guide you through life and take care of your emotiobal needs haha, trauma is FUN.

LEArtN a LOT ABOUT TrauMA!!!!

and your birthday will hopedylly not be as depressing those other years, as this tine youve got friends that like you for you and ERNESTO REAÑO is gonna be YOUR PERSONAL PRESENT ON ZOOOOOOM.

shit is wilding.

we're still, trying. We'll get better.

This year i hope i get to fight more and hagve FUUUN.

27th of August, a poem:

It’s the last Sunday of the month, i’ve been in bed all day watching romantic comedies, wishing for the sky to rain.

my back up friend is leaving in two days, the only thing i can do to relieve the pain is touching myself.

Long live to orgasms!

…I miss having sex. …and a group of real friends. Fuck.

[davidmann95]

What was your first comic and does it hold up?

Hard to say for certain. There’s a few candidates: Superman Adventures, Batman Adventures, Byrne’s Man of Steel, the DC collection of The Greatest Team-Up Stories Ever Told, Superman & Bugs Bunny.* Heck, Calvin and Hobbes. But the first one I no-question remember for certain getting - by which I mean my mom bought it for me when I saw it at the grocery store - is this baby:

And looking it up for a reread, it definitely did live up to my memories, in that my memories told me this was in no way something I should have been reading at 4-5 years old. It is pretty damn dark even by Spider-Man standards.

Brought to us by Howard Mackie, John Byrne, Dan Green, Joe Rosas, Richard Starkings, Troy Peteri, and editor Ralph Macchio, “DUST IN THE WIND” requires a bit of background, which I guess is as fair a start as I should have expected for my first comic. Mackie and company do clear things up quickly though: Peter, who until recently had been living the high life, has lost everything when Mary Jane ‘went missing’ in a plane crash (while it’s played as him being in denial it turns out she was indeed kidnapped in later comics. Does anyone know what the deal was with that? Even when I look up her kidnapper on Marvel Wiki or whatever he’s just listed as “The Stalker” with no details. I know the incident sparked their eventual separation, which lasted until a ways into JMS’s run), and is headed out to a job interview with a start-up tech company on the recommendation of Glory Grant. 

Meanwhile, Sandman is falling apart into a creepy slush-monster due to some kind of inter-group breakdown with a Sinister Six formed by Mysterio, where Venom bit off a chunk of him in the fight (probably what made me think of Venom from a young age as definitely the coolest Spider-Man villain, which…did not exactly bear out in the harsh light of day, even if I still think he’s a lot better than many give him credit for), and “I can’t pull myself all the way together without all my sand…” Right away we’re in dicey territory, given I’m like 98% sure any kind of sand works for him. He’s Sandman! How’s he turn into a big sand monster all the time if he can only ever have so much sand?! Spoilers, but he totally has enough sand to turn into a literal sandstorm later in the story, and at no point does it occur to him to just stay as a stable normal-sized guy rather than overextending himself into a slush monster without enough mass to sustain himself. Or does he mean that it doesn’t matter how much other sand there might be, if he loses any ‘important’ sand he’s through? Because jeez buddy, there’s probably billions of grains in there at the very least, and you’re screwed if you lose track of ANY of them? Yikes.

Anyway, he materializes in the middle of a bunch of homeless guys to scream about how he really needs to kill Mysterio before he kicks the sand castle himself, and here we run into the bit of the story that definitely doesn’t play out quite like I remember it, for two reasons.

1. As you can see, he snatches a bottle of booze in a paper bag from one of the guys, and at 5 or so I thought it was a ketchup bottle, because 5.

2. The bottle drops through his hand, because he can’t sustain himself. You can see it’s a pretty innocuous image, especially compared to what’s surrounding it, but at the time that scared the shit out of me. Somehow that imprinted on my brain as this horrifically gruesome image, his hand falling apart as the booze sprays everywhere as a clear signifier for blood to match his torturous physical condition. In that regard, this look back has been kind of a disappointment.

So Peter has to huff it to the job interview, and because he doesn’t even have enough money for the subway, he’s gotta make it on foot. Unfortunately on the way there he gets sidetracked; a young woman comes running out of a tenement yelling for help, and when he grudgingly obliges, it turns out her baby has his head stuck in the bars of his crib. Maybe this is my ignorance showing as a non-parent that I don’t understand why this is a life-or-death situation (beyond that the baby squeezed his head far enough through that the bars are on either side of his neck, which is probably worth checking with a doctor about), but even as Peter bends the bars and frees the boy, the police burst in for a drug bust as well-dressed business-types start to flee. 

“This is some sort of crack house,” Spider-Man thinks to himself in this comic I read as a tiny little baby. And because he’s wearing his one nice suit for his job interview he gets busted with the rest, by a couple very angry cops. Before one can finish lecturing him that he’s a damn yuppie with too much money who’ll throw it all away for a hit (which they’ll clearly fix by throwing him in jail), they inevitably drive right into that sandstorm I mentioned earlier, which breaks Peter’s watch - the watch from his presumably dead wife that he was using to make sure he’d be on time for his interview, the capper to a clearly spectacular day - even as he changes into costume and follows Sandman into a nearby warehouse. And that’s where things start to get odd.

As it turns out this is where Mysterio’s been hiding out, with Electro in tow as his flunky (which is probably what made me think of Mysterio as Spider-Man’s other coolest villain. This opinion definitely did pan out with time, Mysterio rocks), and to this day I don’t know what exactly is going on here. They’re both being uncharacteristically blunt - Electro monologues about eliminating his adversary once and for all like a Lee/Kirby Fantastic Four villain rather than a mook with more power than he knows what to do with. At first I thought it was just a failed attempt at making him edgier - no quips anymore, webhead! - but it’s specifically called out in-story a couple times, which makes me think there was a purpose to it. Maybe it has something to do with Electro’s redesigned outfit, which has picked up an I’d say undue degree of flack over the years. Obviously it’s got nothing on that pointy-headed classic Ditko design, but it’s a decent enough “Electric Supervillain” costume design in its own right, if a little on the generic side. If any fans from this period can clue me in on what’s going on here with the two of them, absolutely feel free to do so.

Unfortunately, Mysterio’s cunning apparently took an even harder hit than Electro’s fashion sense; since the inside of the warehouse seems to be a sprawling post-apocalyptic New York (and it’s, y’know, Mysterio), Parker picks up pretty quick that this is an illusion, so he fires a web at where the ceiling must be, pulls, and…that’s it. The warehouse crumbles, Mysterio and Electro flee, Spidey leaves a bitter Sandman moaning about his lost vengeance for the cops, and it’s pretty much exactly as anticlimactic as it sounds. But lest things end on a down note, let’s take a look at the final page, where events take a turn into realms of absolute despair that can only be described as Funky Winkerbeanean:

Jeeeeesus. The ‘ol Parker luck, eh? In perhaps the deepest pit of professional despair of his adult life right after his greatest successes, and with his wife probably dead to boot, he thought he could at last put his incredible brainpower to some kind of modest use, but it was a lie! His last resort has been dashed by a misunderstanding from a man apparently too stubborn to bother hearing Peter out, and now he has to wash dishes to stay alive because otherwise he’s literally too broke to afford the bus home! And as a guy who’s washed his share of dishes, I can say with some degree of authority: that blows pretty hard!

So does it hold up? I’d say yes; it’s a perfectly passable comic for its time, it’s about as dark as I recall - even grimmer in some ways than I understood at the time - and there’ll always be the air of the vaguely taboo, the adult, the indefinably fucked-up about it by the sheer fact of when I was exposed to it. I think it may have had one of the four parts of Marvel’s running anti-weed insert comic Fast Lane in it, so that probably helped. Something about it clearly did it for me, by sheer dint of the fact that it didn’t scare me off the whole “superhero” business forever; if nothing else, it’s almost certainly the source point of my fondness for darker Spider-Man stories. Also, this page doesn’t hurt:

Always thought of that as a great little summing-up of his character: everything that can go wrong will most definitely go it wrong, but damn it, he’s going to make it all work. He’s not going to give up. He’s going to have a life. As superheroes go, that’s not the worst place to start. Plus it turns out Peter Parker shares my fondness for golden-toed socks. The hero who could be you indeed.

* While I’m looking forward to the new one-shots in the same vein, especially since Tom King has essentially confirmed he’s writing Batman vs. Elmer Fudd, I don’t know that it’s going to be able to live up to the original unless he gets possessed by Daffy Duck again.

[tfw-no-tennis]

hhhhhhxh

more abt hxh bc my last post was too long n i had to split it off holla

so i left off talking abt when gon woke up....i love how polite gon is to pretty much everyone - hes such a good lad all the time. s/o to his aunt for raising him right (tho i think hes also just a rlly good boy inherently too)

also is he named gon bc ging was like ha ha im boutta be GONe lol seeya kid!!!! like ????

i find it interesting that kurapika and hisoka fought....we really havent seen them interact at all yet. also hisoka is so smirk-y i hate that bitch...what did he say to kurapika?????? 

this poor red shirt old guy lmao hisoka is SO clearly uninterested in fighting him and then he fucking dies. rip mdude

what did hisoka whisper to HIM??? guess we’ll never know #RIPLegend

oh mannnn if killua had just won against pokkle then he wouldnt have had to deal with illumi doing That to him :( my smug son......

leorio is such a good dude....also its so funny to me how tall and lanky leorio is, espec compared to the other 3 main characters lmaoooo

or maybe those 3 are just rlly short??? i mean gon and killua are literally 12, but whats kurapikas excuse

GODDDD I HATE THIS BIIIIITCH. FUCK OFFFFFFF tho the evil piano music slaps. but jeeeeesus illumi is so creepy and awful, and seeing him take off his disguise is not any better a second time...he and hisoka truly deserve each other wrow

does illumi have hair powers??? cause it kinda looks like it. or maybe hes just gay and dramatic 

ok but the sick electric guitar riff (?) that played when illumis face was revealed was lowkey kinda hilarious

man i was so wrong abt killua knowing that that was illumi :( poor kid

killua is immediately freaking out and meanwhile illumi looks bored as hell. dude ur the worst 

killua: [freaking out] illumi, completely blank-faced: hey 

I HATE HIMMMM even tho his catman design is regrettably kinda cute

why do illumi and hisoka both have such snatched waists i hate this

wtf so killua has another different brother??? i assumed he attacked illumi....how many fuckgin zoldyk sibling are there?????

leorio ur too normie for this conversation lmao. also wow fucked up family huh

killua looks so like...small and helpless, which is so at odds from what we’ve seen of him so far :( this poor kid

illumi totally has some weird brain powers man callin it now 

gon: wow killuas family sounds wack...  satotz: oh lmao you havent even heard the rest 

KILLUA ;_; 

this poor baby assassin :( :( :(

IMMM INCONSOLABLE. HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS W/GON.......ARE YOU KIDDING....AUGHHHHHHHH

meanwhile gon decided he and killua are BEST FRIENDS like 10 mins after they met. GOD 

like in the recap ep he called killua his best friend ;_; and meanwhile killua doesnt even think they ARE friends god destroy me 

this calming classical music is throwing me off vbhjfjhbsdkgndks

i sense that leorio and kurapika are rapidly acquiring a new son

DAMN THIS IS SO FUUUUCKEDDDDD illumi is such a crusty bitch wow. leave killua alone asshole 

all that stuff abt killua like, only thinking he wants to befriend gon but really wanting to kill him....that sure sounds like some ‘worst fears’ type of shit for someone like killua....illumi is such a classic abuser wow

i have 2 know is satotz like, repeating this entire conversation verbatim in a calming monotone to gon rn. like....

LEORIOOOOO I LOVE UUUUUUUU AUGHHHH him telling killua it doesnt matter if illumi is his brother, fuck that guy, beat him up as usual and leave.....ooooughhhh leorio is such a good dude ;_; 

and the OF COURSE him saying the obvious - that gon and killua are ALREADY friends....i love this, i feel like leorio said all the exact things the audience is thinking...yet it still didnt get thru to killua bc hes so rattled by illumi appearing, and the abuse in general 

i think if gon were there things wouldve gone much differently 

of COURSE crusty bitch illumi is like oh ok now i have to kill gon.....biiiiitch i hate uuuuu 

also that just shows that hes lying to killua (which we already knew obvs), bc if it were inevitable that killua would kill gon to like, test himself or w/e, then why not just wait for that to happen? that would have a much bigger impact on killua than illumi killing gon....its obvious that illumi is just manipulating him, but killua is too BSOD to be able to tell (also, hes 12)

ok bitch illumi is preaching abt not needing friends but he and hisoka are definitely fucking and theyve been teamed up for the entire hunter exam it seems.....what a hypocrite. hate this guy

god im so glad we didnt rlly get to see whatever the fuck illumi did to that random hunter examiner guy’s face. jeeeeesus. also i cant tell but i wonder if him forcing that info out of the guy was the result of his freaky mind powers or if the guy was just like oof ouch pins in me face

LEORIO AND KURAPIKAAAA THE PROTECT GON SQUAD!! and joined by new member hanzo!!! who ironically beat gon up for 3 hours str8 like, a very short amount of time ago lmao. but still i love that sm

illumi u dumb bitch.....tho i dont buy for a minute that he didnt already realize that killing gon would disqualify him...he defs just wanted to get under killuas skin even more :^( 

KILLUAAAA ;_; when he goes to step back from illumi but illumi tells him not to....ughhh HATE this guy, leave this poor kid alone. no wonder he wanted to leave

illumi saying theres only 1 way that killua can stop him - does he mean by killing him, or something more specific, like some forbidden zoldyk murder technique? 

‘your beloved gon’ wow gay. theyre 12 and theyre dating ok. killua is literally that kid whos like wow i wonder if gon likes me...and meanwhile gon is like wow cant believe me and killua have been dating for 3 months now

leorio saying ‘we wont let him kill you or gon’ ;_; leorio ily sm...thats like the exact right thing to say - hes offering protection and reassurance as an adult figure...unfortunately killua is clearly too freaked out to even process anything outside of illumis gaslighting and abuse 

also illumi is defs doing something to killua w/his eyes via his freaky mind powers. js

illumi i hate you stop being weirdly cute. augh 

classic abuse tactics, being like ha ha nvm i wasnt gonna kill gon! jk!

killua just shutting down completely after that :( :( noooo

and then he kills that old guy and leaves, ‘proving’ that illumi is right....noooooOOOO

and now we boutta see gon go FULL shounen protag for the first time, oh FUCKKKKKK yesssss

this is the first time we’ve seen gon angry oooh man and of COURSE its on killuas behalf,....im so fuckign emo already looooord

god ok the episode preview where its gon saying ‘do leorio and i look alike?’ YES U DO LOL youre father and son so jot that down 

oof, gon and illumi have such fundamentally different POVs on like, family and life and morals, and you can tell by their 4-line exchange before gon does the ICONIC one-handed grab’n’fling

AUGHHHH gon saying hes gonna rescue killua....SO good...he recognizes that killuas family is wack as hell and killua shouldnt be w/them - the classic ingrained ‘found family is more important than blood family’ stuff

tho thats an interesting contrast to gon himself, whos looking for his deadbeat dad

‘but it wasnt his choice’ that so good ily gon BEST boy, hes so perceptive and good......he knows that killuas hand was forced and that he needs to be RESCUED (love that word choice) from his shitty abusive family

of course kurapika and leorio voiced complaints ;_; best parents 

kurapika should be a lawyer tbh 

leorioooo ;_; such a good dude, saying he should be disqualified instead 

HOW is leorio a stronger combatant than that old dude hvbajufjbsja that guy had some moves it seemed, and leorio has,....a knife? a briefcase? the classic premed attitude of ‘fuck it, i could die anytime, lets do this’? like.....cmon vhabjdfjbhsf i refuse to believe this man is of any use in a fight. ill believe it when i see it

pokkle pls ur not plot-important enough to be jumping into this convo rn

tho i am curious abt what hisoka said to kurapika. tho i agree that thats irrelevant to the discussion 

gon repeating satotz’s wisdom :’) and saying that killua will definitely pass if he takes the exam again...ough

gon is SO GOOD i cant get over it !!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH....recusing killua from his abusive family and making it so killua never has to see them again is like...so good. what a good good perfect boy.

also thats like, the perfect response to this. killing illumi would just start a ton of drama, and killua would be conflicted abt that....but removing killua from his situation is perfect 

ok ive ranted a lot ill talk abt the rest later woohoo

PREDICTIONS: 

i predict that hisoka will show up in this upcoming zoldyk arc somewhere bc illumis gonna be in it (i assume) and theyre dating. also hisoka is a central character so itd make sense for him to show up in the second major arc. tho tbh this could end up being completely false and i wouldnt be that shocked lmao

i think leorio is gonna get Big Sad someday bc hes like, so normal compared to the other MCs, and also hes suuuuch a bleeding heart (i love him....) so i feel like thats gonna lead to some sadness for him once his friends start doing crazy shit or w/e 

also i predict that if he gets nen itll be like healing nen or st. does that even exist??? idk jack shit abt nen lmao 

i think that illumi has hypnosis powers or something, even just based on design alone. it could defs be for aesthetic (character design in hxh is wild), but his eyes look noticeably different from any other characters. also he was doing some freaky shit to killua. also i held this prediction before seeing the part where this is brought up so we’ll see if its right lmao 

as for this upcoming arc -  ruth and i are wondering if itll be similar to the vinsmoke drama in one piece - character goes back to abusive family, squad goes to rescue them...and then character refuses to be recused. w/sanji it was partially bc the vinsmokes threatened to kill zeff, his TRUE dad, but i predict in this case it could be more like the zoldyks saying ‘look killua these 3 weirdos showed up looking for you, convince them to leave or we’ll kill them’ and killua will be like, oh shit bc like.....think abt it. the vinsmokes targeted zeff (and not the strawhats) bc they knew they could easily kill him. same goes here, i assume - a family of trained assassins vs Good Good Fishing Rod Smell-Power Boy (who hasnt thrown a single punch yet), Lanky Dr Man With A Switchblade We Havent Seen Him Use Onscreen, and Mx 2 Wooden Sticks, Bloodlust, and Arachnophobia - 3 For 1 Deal! its a no-contest. so thats one thing i could see happening, potentially 

im way too tired to remember my other predictions rip lmao