#you’re gonna be a musician why are you worrying about school?
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ron-do-i-get-to-sing-my-way · 11 months ago
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Big midterm tomorrow and the panic is hitting but as soon as I start reviewing stuff, it’s like, oh this actually isn’t so bad. I just don’t have time to properly review it all :) BUT, I accepted an invitation to a jam tonight instead of studying because that makes me happy. And a post-midterm open mic. Just as a little treat.
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nayutascrepestand · 10 months ago
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ALL MY PARTS | Verse
Part 1: Verse | Part 2: Bridge | Part 3: Chorus | Part 4: Ending
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Location: ???
Nayuta: (...I don’t feel any light on my eyelids. Is it still night-time…?)
(Even when I open my eyes…it’s still pitch black. It sounds like it’s raining…wait, I don’t even think that’s real…)
(Where am I…?)
(It feels like…I’m slowly falling into an endless darkness…)
(...I can hear something.)
???: …With a body like that, you’ll never be a vocalist!
Not even begging for my teachings could help you. You don’t have any talent to speak of!
???: Wait, don’t go, Dad! Please, don’t leave me!!
Nayuta: (Tch, what a pain…I don’t want to remember that ever again.)
(How do I get out of here…?)
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???: …This way, Nayuta-kun. It’s pretty loud inside, so let’s be careful not to lose each other.
Nayuta: (...This guy…he’s a musician who knew that piece of shit…)
(As disgusting as their connection is, he’s the one who took me to see my first live house when I was in middle school.)
???: Isn’t live music incredible? CD recordings just don’t hold a candle to it.
Nayuta: (In here, it feels like you’re being hammered with sounds that pulsate throughout the entire building. I couldn’t hear a word of what that guy said to me.)
(Inside the live house, only a few people stood on the stage, but with the music they unleashed, they engulfed a crowd of hundreds.)
(Like them, I wanted to stand on stage too. One day, if I could become the one creating that energy, then maybe he’d—)
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???: Huh? This kid is Asahi-kun…? Wait, but he’s just a high schooler!? Are you sure about this? Won’t our band be too advanced for him?
???: Don’t worry, you’ll get it once you hear him sing. Nayuta-kun is amazing. Show them what you’ve got.
???: Alright then. We’ll start off with something easy. Let’s go with a song Asahi-kun is familiar with.
Nayuta: (In high school, I joined my first band after a referral from that musician.)
(I took a deep breath in, and sang my heart out. It was the first time I experienced what it felt like to sing with an ensemble of instruments backing my voice.)
(But…)
???: Wow, Asahi-kun, you’re unbelievable! If we made some original songs, do you think we could make it big?
???: Count me out, writing songs is so much effort. Why don’t we just keep putting on live shows until we can find some work?
???: Yeah, hardly anyone is able to make a successful career out of music anyway. Besides, I can’t wait for the school festival that’s coming up! I bet we’re gonna be real popular, ahaha…
Nayuta: …
(Barely passable skills, and a sorry excuse for passion. I don’t need to be here anymore.) 
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Nayuta: (Where am I…? Oh, this is the opening act I performed with another band I joined…)
(These guys couldn’t play for shit either.)
???: —Excuse me.
Part 1: Verse | Part 2: Bridge | Part 3: Chorus | Part 4: Ending
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project-blueflame · 5 months ago
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Arc 1: Homecoming. Chapter 2: The Spark
The rest of the day went on as usual. Boring classes. Syllabus days. Blah blah blah. I felt as if I was gonna fall asleep in the middle of the day. But there was one thing I was looking forward to. Lunch time. One of the few things that hadn’t changed going from middle school to high school. I had brought my own lunch my mom had made, a cheese and ham sandwich with barbeque chips. I took it mainly because I despise how gross school lunches are. As I found an empty table to sit at I took it the minute. The cafeteria was packed from wall to wall. I was lucky enough to get this one. Per usual I took off my jacket and placed it on the seat adjacent to mine. It's always been a thing I did to save a spot if needed to. Saves the awkward conversation of trying to get someone to move. Not even a moment later I saw Coda Stroll his way over to my table, tossing me my jacket before swiftly taking its place. Coda almost perpetually had this look to him, a sort of look that let you know he's done something, and he'd be damned if he told you what it actually was.
“What do you have planned? I asked him before taking a drink of my lemonade.
“Eh, got someone new to sit with us.” He said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. I felt my heart rate start to climb. I felt as if I was sweating bullets.
“Coda… please tell me you didn’t!” I pleaded to him. If this is what I thought it was, I was going to kill him. As I sat there trying to resign myself to my fate I took another bite of my sandwich. Whilst waiting I did the only reasonable thing a teen would do, Scroll on my phone till I find some cool shit! And my goodness, there was news. The qualifiers for sky racing were announced. I’ve been waiting for this all summer. Middle school was fun and all but this? This was the big leagues. And in my division, there was one man who was the guy to beat. Pyre. Him and I had been in a rivalry since the junior division. He was always just a little bit faster. But, like I said, I've been training, practically all summer.
Suddenly in the midst of my excitement, I felt something kick my shin. I look up and I see Coda, with a massive shit eating grin on his face. It took me by surprise that sitting right next to him was Wick, looking a little nervous.I wasn't surprised that it was Wick mind you, but more so how quietly he even got there.
“Oh! Um… hey Wick. What a surprise to see you here!” I exclaimed as I stared daggers at Coda, or what I'd call him in that very moment: A soon to be deadman.
“Ummm yeah. Coda told me you wanted to hang out with me so I — why is that a surprise?” He Responded his timid voice converting into one of mild confusion.
“Oh! He did!? Well that’s perfect!” I gritted through my teeth. I could see Coda snicker. 
“Anyways he also said you wanted to get to know me better? I-is that right?” He asked. I took a deep breath and looked over to him.
“Actually yeah. We’ve been passively knowing each other since about seventh grade? I always see you around but never really got the chance to know you, ya know?” I murmured. If it wasn’t obvious from my shaking hands or the sweat rolling down my back, I was nervous. Suddenly I see what I can only assume is a shrug from Wick.
“I guess that makes sense. So… what are some of your hobbies?” He asked. As he did I could hear his voice perk up a bit.
“Well… I’m a musician and a sky racer! When it comes to music I mainly like to focus on drumming and singing! I’ve been singing since sixth grade, as for drums I’ve-” I stopped myself as I looked over at him making a swift realization. 
Oh god. 
I’ve been talking too long.
Haven't I.
“Hehe… umm… sorry! I didn’t mean to ramble.” were the words that escaped my lips in a soft murmur.
“Oh! No, don't worry, you’re ok! I’d love to hear more.” Wick reassured, which definitely lifted the tension a little. There was even more of that… jump in his voice.
And so I continued “Ok… I’ve been drumming since about last year. That one dragged me into it.”  of course pointing to the culprit himself. Of course nodded in turn with a prideful look on his face.
“Damn straight I did! Needed someone else in my life that I can jam out with!” He exclaimed with a laugh. As he laughed I saw a mechanical girl with a TV head turn around with an annoyed look on her screen.
“Oi Baspher! I get your thing is sound, but how bout ya put yourself on mute! I'm picking ya voice up better than my own signals!” She called out. The group of girls behind her snicker.  I see Coda’s smile fade into something of annoyance.
“Why don’t you shut up, Statik! Make everyone’s day a bit better!” He barked back at her. And then we hear her scoff.
She smirked as she turned back around to murmur amongst her friends. We couldn’t hear her. But Coda could. And he looked pissed. Me and Wick chuckled a little.
“So… what about you? What are you all into?” I asked as I tilted my head. As I did I see his own perk up again.
“Oh ummm… kickboxing! I’ve loved it since I was a kid. That and… uhh nature. I love walking through the forest and the woods! It’s really relaxing!” Wick excitedly elaborated. The more he talked about what he was into, The more I could see his flame burning brighter and brighter. And it. Was. Adorable! Seeing him get quite literally fired up about what he loved made me feel all.. Warm inside. I felt myself getting calmer. We both seemed… calmer. Welp no better chance than the present!
“Ummm Wick? You said you liked walking through the woods. Do you think… I could join you? If not, that's totally and a hundred percent fine!” I asked. My voice was cracking the entire time. As I asked I could feel a slight tremble in my hand. Then I see his flame perk up again.
“I would love to!” He exclaimed. His excitement nearly overshadowed Coda’s shit-eating grin that just screamed ‘I told you so.
“Oh. OH! Ummm, when did you wanna? A little bit after school?” I asked. I still couldn’t believe that he actually said yes! This was probably the best first day of school I’ve ever had.
“Sure! I’ll meet you outside your place?” He Inquired whilst sliding his phone toward me. I caught it and put my number in and texted myself. After that I put in my address.
“Absolutely! I can’t wait!” I said. And alas, the lunch bell rang and we had to get back to classes. But I had something to look forward to.
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mc-lukanette · 4 years ago
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GOD Furious Fu genuinely pissed me off SO MUCH so hopefully you don’t mind me coming over here to ask for some kinda Lukanette fix it for that train wreck??? Like, not even anything super detailed, if you don’t feel like it, maybe just “Marinette caves, gives the Miracle Box to Su-Han, gets spotty memories and Luka (+ Kitty Section and Kagami, maybe) help her out and worry over her.” Maybe Tikki even realizes she screwed up. If not it’s fine but Lukanette makes everything better so I had to ask.
Warning: it’s gonna be a ride.
—————
Luka looked over as his phone started ringing, brows raising at the sight of Marinette's icon popping up on the screen. It'd been rare for her to call him after all the complications that came with them dating, so he was surprised to say the least.
Nevertheless, he rested an arm on his guitar and reached across his bed with his other to pick up the phone, answering the call and moving the device to his ear. "Hey, Marinette."
"Hey, Luka..."
His heart sank at the sound of her voice. It was a whole mix of emotions, but above all else, she sounded tired. He wondered what she'd gone through for her voice to play those sorts of notes.
"Did anything happen?"
"No," she answered almost instantaneously. She paused, then let out a small whine. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so used to lying, but—I guess I don't have to do that anymore."
He stayed silent, allowing her to continue.
"I—" Marinette took an audible breath, then let it out, her voice lowering to a whisper as if she were scared of someone else hearing.
"I'm...I'm Ladybug, Luka."
Luka's first reaction was shock, though he couldn't be sure if it was the identity bomb she dropped or just the fact that she told him at all. Then, once the surprise died down, the idea that Marinette was Ladybug wasn't that surprising in itself. and he couldn't imagine who else it could've been otherwise.
Smart, talented, caring, selfless... it all added up.
But that also made it all the more painful when he realized what it meant. Immediately, all the dates that she'd missed and all the things he'd been concerned about made sense, and it hurt.
That was the secret she couldn't share with him, no matter how badly she might've wanted to.
The last thought in particular was odd to him, and he couldn't help voicing it, "I... thank you for telling me, Marinette, but... why now?"
She took another breath, more unsteady this time, like she were a guitar with something jammed inside the base. "Because—I'm about to forget it, and now I can't stop thinking about everything I might forget; how I want someone to know. You were the first - the only - person I thought of." Then, hesitantly, she asked, "Is that okay?"
Luka swallowed, feeling the whiplash of another dropped bomb right before the kind of casual compliment that made his heart race. "Of...of course it is."
She sighed in relief. "Thank you."
He tried to keep quiet, but couldn't hold back from questioning, "You said 'forget'..."
"Yeah, because I'm guardian now. There was someone else before and they gave me the ladybug miraculous, but—" She paused, as if considering something, then seemed to shift the conversation. "See, I didn't know anything about being a hero at the start, and... I screwed up." Before Luka could ask or recall the event, she continued, "I let the first ever akuma go, and it let Hawk Moth spread his butterflies everywhere when Ivan got akumatized again. I fixed it, but it was still my mistake that started it."
"Marinette—"
"—and I always tried. I tried my best no matter what I did. I tried to be a good Ladybug, a good student, a good daughter, a good friend... and I tried to get Adrien's attention." She groaned, though the sound seemed muffled, perhaps by her hand. Her voice cracked as she went on, "That's where everything went so wrong, Luka. I knew I had bad luck, but no matter how hard I tried, things would go bad. It was humiliating, and I kept thinking that maybe I just wasn't trying hard enough. My parents had such a happy relationship and I wanted that, but I was just wasting my time. He was barely in my life but he got put into everything I did, and I made so many mistakes from him. There's a liar in school who wants to turn everyone against me, and Alya thinks I'm just jealous because of Adrien. Chloe convinced me to do things I'm not proud of, and it took a while for me to be Kagami's friend. I didn't listen to my kwami and used my miraculous for my own gain, and..."
"What's wrong with that?" he questioned, voice pained. "What's wrong with using your miraculous for you? You save Paris every other day—"
"—because bad things happen, Luka," she stressed as if it were something urgent. "Bad things happen when I... feel."
There was a pit in his stomach. He knew he shouldn't ask - knew he wouldn't like the answer - but he hoped for better regardless. "Feel... what?"
"Anything."
He hunched forward, not strumming his guitar but running his fingers along the strings, desperate for something to busy himself with. His shoulders were stiff and his chest felt tight, unable to fathom what she'd been going through compared to what he'd merely seen on the surface.
"No matter what I did, no matter what I felt... it was wrong, Luka. I embarrassed Chloe in front of the whole class and she wanted to move to New York. She'd bullied me for years and I was so happy." She sounded conflicted, like instruments that didn't go together. "Adrien told me it was terrible. He didn't know why I could celebrate it. I felt awful, so I gave her a chance; I gave her a miraculous."
Luka anxiously rubbed one of the strings between his thumb and index finger, torn between seething and trying to reassure her despite knowing that she'd cut him off.
"She got it in her head that she deserved it, but with Mayura around, it wasn't safe to let her keep having it. I had to tell her 'no,' and..." She let out a defeated noise. "Do you remember that day? At the park?"
She didn't need to specify, and his voice lost all life at the memory. "Yeah..."
"Adrien and Kagami were together. I let them go. They seemed so happy together and it was the right thing to do, but..."
She paused, and he braced himself.
"When I was going to see the guardian to get a miraculous, I saw them. I got distracted and I forgot to de-transform. Because of me, Hawk Moth found the guardian, and he got the miraculouses from him. By the time I realized what happened, it was too late, and Chloe got akumatized again to ruin me. Those bees you saw—they were hers. They mind-controlled everyone, and that's why your identities were compromised. The guardian had to give up the box with all the miraculouses in it to me - ladybug me - because Hawk Moth was probably about to kill him and become the next guardian." She let out a sob. "Giving up the box... it takes your memory with it."
Luka gripped the string he'd been rubbing.
"I don't know how much he lost, but... anything about the miraculouses was gone. He didn't recognize me. He didn't even recognize the love of his life. He had... feelings, but that was it. All because of me."
"Marinette—" he desperately tried to interject.
She cut him off, as he'd feared, "I'm just fixing my own mistakes. People think I'm a good Ladybug because they don't get that. They don't get that I'm just going in circles. My friends don't believe in me, my parents think I'm too clumsy to carry a tray, and... it always feels like someone - somewhere - is laughing at me, with every screw-up." She whimpered. "What good is a ladybug who gets people akumatized? Who gets her own boyfriend akumatized?"
"I don't blame you for that!" he shouted, intentionally raising his voice to talk over her.
He heard a small noise in response, though he couldn't tell if it was another whimper or a giggle.
"I'm sorry," she said, though what she was apologizing for seemed vague, "and thank you, for always being there for me. I'm glad I have time to talk to you before he gets back."
Luka had to calm himself down to ask worriedly, "He...?"
"The guardian; the one that came before the one I knew. He showed up in my room today and saw how I had all the kwami outside of the box; I guess you're not supposed to do that, and he wasn't happy. He told me about all these rules I broke and how I had to give everything back. I took him to meet Chat Noir, but Chat ran for it when he realized that I'd forget about him. The guardian is chasing him down now and I'm just here, with the box, waiting for him to get back."
Luka leaned back and stared at the ceiling, overwhelmed by the rush of information she'd thrown at him all at once. He hadn't even been the one to experience any of it and he still felt worn down as if he had.
"I—" He paused, not liking how his voice shook. "I wish I could've helped you, Marinette. I wish you hadn't had to do all of that alone. I know you feel like it's your fault, but even the best musicians miss notes and mess up. Please don't blame yourself."
She let out a non-committal noise and he knew then that nothing he said would help her. He was sure that she believed him, but words could only do so much, and unlearning what apparent months of suffering had taught her would be difficult.
Though, he supposed it wouldn't matter. "Will you forget... everything?"
"I don't know, but at least everything about Ladybug or the miraculouses will go." She let out a half-hearted chuckle. "I guess it was all for nothing in the end."
"It wasn't," Luka replied. "Marinette, no matter how many times you feel like you screwed up, you were still an amazing ladybug. Everything you said didn't change my mind about that." After a moment of thought, he added, "And that other guardian... how is he?"
He heard her take a breath, as if to give an automatic answer, but she stopped herself. "...He's away from Paris, living with the love of his life."
"See? That sounds better than being the guardian, in Paris, where Hawk Moth is," he pointed out. "Maybe he forgot more than he would've wanted, but—"
"Luka," she interrupted, as if something had just occurred to her.
He considered finishing what he was saying, but stopped himself in favor of wanting to hear her out. "Yeah?"
"A-ah... mm." She struggled briefly while trying to get the words out. "If—if I forget too much... if I forget you... would you still visit me?"
It wasn't that he hadn't thought about the possibility, but it hadn't been on the forefront of his mind either, mostly for the sake of keeping himself grounded.
After having an internal debate with himself, he settled for asking, "Would you want me to?"
"Don't say it like that," she pleaded. "Don't leave it all up to me. I...I'd understand if you decide you don't want to see me again. I wouldn't blame you, I just—" Her voice lowered to something both shy and fond. "—I'm my best self when I'm with you, Luka. We didn't date for that long, and maybe it would've been better for you if we never met, but I..."
The pause she made had him holding his breath, his grip on the phone tightening. He couldn't believe she would dare to imply that he wouldn't do it all over again; meeting her, writing songs about her, dating her...
Marinette let out a breath, and Luka noted that it sounded so... final, like this was really the end.
"I love you, Luka."
His heart hammered in his chest. "Marinette."
"Thank you, and I'm sorry," she whispered. After going quiet for a few seconds, her tone suddenly shifted as she said, "I have to go now. He's on his way."
Luka took a sharp intake of breath, but the click of the call came before he could speak. He could only stare down at the phone, Marinette's contact image staring back as an emptiness washed over him.
Then, he was on his feet, guitar tossed aside, and he'd never moved so fast before in his life.
—————
Marinette gazed at Luka's picture for a few more seconds, as if doing so would permanently imprint it into her memory, then sighed and tossed it onto her chaise lounge. She rubbed at her eyes, wiping away tiredness and unshed tears, unable to help wondering if Fu falling unconscious after his memory loss was something peaceful for him.
When she uncovered her eyes, she noticed the kwami, all distancing themselves from her but staring at her like she was a corpse in a coffin.
"What...?" she asked, though part of her already knew the answer.
They all exchanged glances, like they were debating telepathically, then Wayzz flew forward.
"I - we - we're so sorry, Marinette," he said. Bowing in respect, he added, "We got so excited, and we only caused you more problems."
Marinette shrugged, only able to offer a defeated smile. "There's nothing we can do now. It's too late to change anything."
Tikki approached, her body hunched over and making her look even smaller than she already was. "I-I should've said something. I let him talk to you like that and I didn't do anything to stop him."
Marinette reached over, tempted to pet or touch her kwami in some way to help reassure her, but pulled back at the last moment, too conflicted about it.
The sound of something landing on the balcony followed, and Marinette stared up at it like she could see through her ceiling.
"...He's here," she stated. After giving one last look at all of her kwami, she focused specifically on Tikki and said, "Spots on."
Su-Han descended into her room, Ladybug standing in the center and wanting nothing more but to get things over with. He approached her, raising his fist and then opening it to show her the ring inside; Chat Noir's ring. Plagg, meanwhile, hovered aimlessly around the room, not meeting anyone's eyes and probably sensing the tension.
"That crybaby was even more of a fool than I'd thought," Su-Han commented, "giving a miraculous to a boy whose face is all over this village."
"What?" Ladybug blurted out. A boy whose face was all over—but that meant—"Adrien?"
Su-Han raised a brow. "A friend of yours?" He promptly scoffed. "That makes him even more foolish."
She couldn't even find it in herself to respond, too busy grappling with so casually being told something she'd intended to never learn about if she could help it.
Adrien was Chat Noir? It explained a little bit of everything and made her feel a lot of everything at the same time, like the two personalities meshed together to create something both shocking yet profoundly upsetting. She saw her memories with Adrien in place of Chat Noir and vice versa, unable to separate the two and pursing her lips as she recognized that, perhaps if things had been a little different...
"Young lady," Su-Han called strictly, pulling her out of her trance. "I don't have time to waste here. Relinquish the Miracle Box to me, at once."
"A-ah..." Ladybug could only nod, still dazed but at least focused enough to respond. She stared down at her hands, staring at the red and single black spot on the back of each, then sighed and closed her eyes, accepting that it was the last time she'd see them.
"I, Ladybug, hereby relinquish the Miracle Box..."
The last feeling she'd remember as Ladybug was a deep, unrelenting regret; regret for all the things she did do, didn't do, and the things that weren't even in her control.
Then, as her mind was fogging and she was slipping into darkness, she felt something else.
She felt free.
—————
Luka didn't bother saying a word to Tom or Sabine when he charged inside the bakery, both of them letting out various shouts of concern as he bolted past them and ran up the stairs. He nearly tripped multiple times, but he never stopped moving. He dashed up each flight until his eyes locked on the door to Marinette's living room.
He opened the door in a hurry, ignoring the sound of it slamming against the wall, and headed right for the stairs to Marinette's room. He threw caution to the wind and pushed open the trap door in the same fashion, his eyes scanning the place in a panic.
Then, his gaze fell upon Marinette, lying there on the floor, earrings gone, and he realized that he was too late. If he were honest, he hadn't known exactly what he'd rushed there to do - try and prevent the memory loss? tell her how wrong she'd been during their call? call out the guardian for treating his beloved so cruelly? - but now that he was there, all he could think about was being there for her.
He took a moment to catch his breath, then approached and knelt down next to her. Slipping his arms underneath her, he lifted her up and brought her over to her chaise lounge, wanting to at least get her off the floor. Her phone had been resting on the chaise’s cushion, but he simply moved it to the table after setting her down.
He paced around the room, raking his fingers through his hair and ruffling it. His mind was still racing, as was his heart, and his running had nothing to do with either. He knew that, whether Marinette had her memory or not, she was the song in his head, and any pain that would come with her not knowing him couldn't compare to the pain of not seeing her again. She wasn't a burden, and no matter how many excuses he might have to come up with, he wasn't going to let her be alone, especially not when she trusted him with a secret that she'd only let him hear.
He was so distracted by his thoughts that he almost didn't hear the slight shuffling noise, though the sound of Marinette stirring was what made him fully turn around to look at her. While she laid there, her eyes were half-lidded and unfocused, darting aimlessly around the room as if in search of something.
"Marinette," he whispered, rushing over to her. Bending over the chaise lounge, barely thinking, he asked gently, "Are you okay?"
"Mm..." Her eyes found his, and she blinked a few times before she actually seemed awake enough to answer him. "Luka?"
His breath, his words, his very sound, all caught in his throat. If he were a guitar, his strings would've snapped from the sudden release of tension.
"Y-you... know who I am?" he asked in a small voice.
She tilted her head at him, confused by the question. "Of course I do? You're my boyfriend."
Boyfriend. She said boyfriend. She didn't just remember him, she remembered her feelings for him.
He got misty-eyed from the realization, and Marinette's eyes widened in alarm.
"L-luka?" she called, brows furrowed with concern. She reached up with a hand, sliding it along his cheek. "What's wrong—what happened? I swear I'm okay, I—"
He shook his head, gently holding onto her wrist and feeling the steady rhythm of her pulse to ground himself. "Nothing, Marinette. Nothing happened. You—you just had a bad fall."
"O-oh. I...I'm sorry." She pushed herself up with her free hand. "I'm so clumsy. I didn't mean to worry—"
He couldn't wait any longer. He hugged her, squeezing her with every ounce of love that'd been accumulating since they'd originally broken up. Marinette didn't seem to understand the intensity of his actions, but didn't hesitate to hug him back either, even humming with content and burying her face into his shoulder.
Her song sang freely to him. It wasn't torn or twisted up, playing openly instead of staying locked in a music box. He couldn't have been happier after she'd given him such a scare before, and any remaining questions could come later.
For that moment, he just let their duet play free-er than it'd ever been able to before.
—————
"Luka~" Marinette called from the kitchen. When he looked over to her, she raised two different bottles of iced tea, waving them a bit for emphasis. "Which one do you want?"
He hummed, then pointed to the one in her left hand. She nodded at the decision, then put the other bottle back in the fridge, retrieving a bottled drink of her own before leaving the kitchen to join him on the couch.
The last few weeks had been a bit of a rollercoaster, but not necessarily in a bad way. He'd had to deal with Marinette's memory loss and simultaneously piece together how exactly it'd all worked out, but all in all, it was good for her.
Most of Marinette's memories outside of being Ladybug were in tact, and Luka had realized soon after she'd woken up from her memory loss that the reason she’d forgotten about their break up was exactly because it'd been related to her being Ladybug. He'd tried vaguely to explain it to her as if he hadn't known that she was Ladybug, wondering if those negative feelings still lingered, but they both still wanted to date each other and thus concluded that not dating after all that would've been silly. He knew full well that she wasn't going to be stressed or strapped for time anymore, so it wasn't a subject worth debating over, especially if it meant that they could move back into dating without issue.
She'd initially cried when he assured her that he was happy to continue dating her. She couldn’t comprehend why and he'd merely hugged her in reassurance, imagining that he was also hugging the Marinette of the past who didn't believe he'd want to date her again.
Outside of that, there were additional gaps in Marinette's memory that she couldn't explain, and Luka was certain that they were either Ladybug or guardian-related. Her parents had been particularly concerned by the losses, but Luka noted to himself that the lost memories were for the best. It was as if all of the memories that had caused her stress had evaporated, leaving only good ones behind.
Adrien was the big one, as she hadn't been able to remember him at all. At best, she was uncomfortable around him, and Luka did her the favor of removing any pictures of the guy from her cork board and phone. It took him a while to figure it out, but once he put together that Adrien was Chat Noir, things fell into place. Marinette had explained during their phone call that the previous guardian had lost his memory of the love of his life, but Luka imagined that she might've been his confidant for so long that thinking of her as anything else was impossible. Factor in that Marinette had also explained that her crush on Adrien had seeped into her being Ladybug, and it all added up; so long as the connection between the person and the miraculouses was unavoidable, they were forgotten.
And Marinette seemed all the happier for it. To some degree, it was tragic that Paris didn't have Ladybug anymore, but as far as Luka was concerned, Marinette needed to be rid of Ladybug more than Paris needed her, and Marinette's health took priority over all else.
The new ladybug holder was no replacement from the original, but Luka had expected that. Despite them being an adult and having access to as many lucky charms as they desired, no one could substitute Ladybug's instinct and ability to think on her feet.
But that wasn't Luka's problem, and he wholly intended to make sure that it wasn't Marinette's either. She'd heard that there was a previous ladybug, but had no interest in anything relating to the heroes nor their miraculouses. The most she'd said about them was one time where she'd idly commented that her homeroom and PE teachers had been "busier than she remembered," though she'd brushed it off as being related to her mild memory loss.
He'd giggled at that. He had been prepared to have to fall in love with a slightly different Marinette, but she honestly hadn't changed much; still caring, still generous, and still the adorable mess that he loved so much. She could afford to work on her confidence, sure, but he didn't fall for her due to what Ladybug had given her.
"Luka?"
He blinked, then looked down to her; her and her bright, happy eyes, the darkness underneath having faded long ago. She smiled at him, oblivious to his thoughts and a brow raised in amusement.
"Were you daydreaming?" she asked curiously, her hand covering his and giving it a casual squeeze.
Luka still couldn't quite believe that he was hers and she was his. He recalled Desperada, that fateful day where she - Ladybug at the time - had given him the snake miraculous, presumably after she'd tried to give it to Adrien. He wouldn't have admitted it at the time, but there was a pride in being able to do something that Adrien couldn't. He'd never forgotten her words either, knowing now that they were Marinette's.
"You were the right choice, Luka."
He sighed blissfully, bending down to press his forehead against hers and replying, "I'm just happy."
She let out a small whine at the sudden and sweet gesture, but still pressed back in return. "Me too."
They stayed in that moment until a sudden thumping noise brought them out of it, Luka jerking his head up to stare at where it'd come from: Marinette's room. Immediately recognizing what was happening, he groaned and rubbed his face in irritation.
As expected, the man Luka had come to know as Su-Han emerged, descending the stairs and locking eyes with Marinette. She recoiled, her hands clutching Luka's sleeve as she murmured, "Not you again..."
Luka gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, then got up from the couch and walked around to face Su-Han himself.
The man huffed. "I'm not here for—"
"Marinette wants nothing to do with you," Luka said lowly. He went for the living room door, opening it and gesturing outside. Su-Han followed with an air of self-importance and Luka closed the door behind them, leaving Marinette safely out of the conversation.
"The former ladybug had not even informed me of what she'd done," Su-Han explained. "Therefore, it's time she take responsibility and—"
Luka snapped, "You don't get to blame anything on Marinette. She did everything you asked her to and you made her give up her memories." He purposefully left out the fact that she was better off without said memories. "You're the one who insulted her song before you even got to hear it."
Su-Han squinted, the phrase clearly going over his head. "...What?"
At that point, the sound of footsteps came from downstairs, Luka glancing past the railing to see Tom coming up, perhaps having heard the voices even if he didn't hear any specific words.
The moment he saw Su-Han, Tom glared.
"Honey! That man bothering our daughter is back!" he shouted.
More footsteps followed, this time from Sabine and simultaneously much faster than Tom’s. Su-Han clearly caught on that this would be a repeat of "last time" (one of Luka's fonder memories of seeing the man be dealt with) and quickly fled back into the other room to return to Marinette's balcony and escape.
Once Luka had confirmed that everything was okay, he returned to the couch to sit at Marinette's side again. She tilted her head at him, but didn't ask any questions, Su-Han having become something on a "frequent but harmless weirdo" who she didn't understand.
Luka held an arm out invitingly, then wrapped it around Marinette when she snuggled against him. He used his free hand to open the bottle of iced tea - finding it difficult but also not worth leaving their cuddle to allow for both hands - then tipped the drink to his mouth to take a sip.
"Hey, Luka?" Marinette called, slightly shy in her delivery.
Luka met her gaze, setting the drink back on the table so he could give her his full attention. "Hm?"
"Could we... go on a date tomorrow?" she asked, one of her hands idly fiddling with the fabric of his pant leg. "I was thinking we could go buy a movie to watch? The one with Jagged Stone?"
He didn't know if the request had anything to do with the failed date that she may or may not recall anymore, but regardless, he was grinning like a fool. He pulled her closer, his free hand falling upon one of hers as he nuzzled her. "I'd love that."
He silently looked forward to the day where all the new memories he made with her outmatched the time lost from her old ones.
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path-of-my-childhood · 4 years ago
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Musicians On Musicians: Paul McCartney & Taylor Swift
By: Patrick Doyle for Rolling Stone Date: November 13th 2020
On songwriting secrets, making albums at home, and what they’ve learned during the pandemic.
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Taylor Swift arrived early to Paul McCartney’s London office in October, “mask on, brimming with excitement.” “I mostly work from home these days,” she writes about that day, “and today feels like a rare school field trip that you actually want to go on.”
Swift showed up without a team, doing her own hair and makeup. In addition to being two of the most famous pop songwriters in the world, Swift and McCartney have spent the past year on similar journeys. McCartney, isolated at home in the U.K., recorded McCartney III. Like his first solo album, in 1970, he played nearly all of the instruments himself, resulting in some of his most wildly ambitious songs in a long time. Swift also took some new chances, writing over email with the National’s Aaron Dessner and recording the raw Folklore, which abandons arena pop entirely in favor of rich character songs. It’s the bestselling album of 2020.
Swift listened to McCartney III as she prepared for today’s conversation; McCartney delved into Folkore. Before the photo shoot, Swift caught up with his daughters Mary (who would be photographing them) and Stella (who designed Swift’s clothes; the two are close friends). “I’ve met Paul a few times, mostly onstage at parties, but we’ll get to that later,” Swift writes. “Soon he walks in with his wife, Nancy. They’re a sunny and playful pair, and I immediately feel like this will be a good day. During the shoot, Paul dances and takes almost none of it too seriously and sings along to Motown songs playing from the speakers. A few times Mary scolds, ‘Daaad, try to stand still!’ And it feels like a window into a pretty awesome family dynamic. We walk into his office for a chat, and after I make a nervous request, Paul is kind enough to handwrite my favorite lyric of his and sign it. He makes a joke about me selling it, and I laugh because it’s something I know I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. That’s around the time when we start talking about music.”
Taylor Swift: I think it’s important to note that if this year had gone the way that we thought it was going to go, you and I would have played Glastonbury this year, and instead, you and I both made albums in isolation.
Paul McCartney: Yeah!
Swift: And I remember thinking it would have been so much fun because the times that I’ve run into you, I correlate with being some of the most fun nights of my life. I was at a party with you, when everybody just started playing music. And it was Dave Grohl playing, and you...
McCartney: You were playing one of his songs, weren’t you?
Swift: Yes, I was playing his song called “Best of You,” but I was playing it on piano, and he didn’t recognize it until about halfway through. I just remember thinking, “Are you the catalyst for the most fun times ever?” Is it your willingness to get up and play music that makes everyone feel like this is a thing that can happen tonight?
McCartney: I mean, I think it’s a bit of everything, isn’t it? I’ll tell you who was very... Reese Witherspoon was like, “Are you going to sing?” I said “Oh, I don’t know.” She said, “You’ve got to, yeah!” She’s bossing me around. So I said, “Whoa,” so it’s a bit of that.
Swift: I love that person, because the party does not turn musical without that person.
McCartney: Yeah, that’s true.
Swift: If nobody says, “Can you guys play music?” we’re not going to invite ourselves up onstage at whatever living-room party it is.
McCartney: I seem to remember Woody Harrelson got on the piano, and he starts playing “Let It Be,” and I’m thinking, “I can do that better.” So I said, “Come on, move over, Woody.” So we’re both playing it. It was really nice... I love people like Dan Aykroyd, who’s just full of energy and he loves his music so much, but he’s not necessarily a musician, but he just wanders around the room, just saying, “You got to get up, got to get up, do some stuff.”
Swift: I listened to your new record. And I loved a lot of things about it, but it really did feel like kind of a flex to write, produce, and play every instrument on every track. To me, that’s like flexing a muscle and saying, “I can do all this on my own if I have to.”
McCartney: Well, I don’t think like that, I must admit. I just picked up some of these instruments over the years. We had a piano at home that my dad played, so I picked around on that. I wrote the melody to “When I’m 64” when I was, you know, a teenager.
Swift: Wow.
McCartney: When the Beatles went to Hamburg, there were always drum kits knocking around, so when there was a quiet moment, I’d say, “Do you mind if I have a knock around?” So I was able to practice, you know, without practicing. That’s why I play right-handed. Guitar was just the first instrument I got. Guitar turned to bass; it also turned into ukulele, mandolin. Suddenly, it’s like, “Wow,” but it’s really only two or three instruments.
Swift: Well, I think that’s downplaying it a little bit. In my mind, it came with a visual of you being in the country, kind of absorbing the sort of do-it-yourself [quality] that has had to come with the quarantine and this pandemic. I found that I’ve adapted a do-it-yourself mentality to a lot of things in my career that I used to outsource.  I’m just wondering what a day of recording in the pandemic looked like for you.
McCartney: Well, I’m very lucky because I have a studio that’s, like, 20 minutes away from where I live. We were in lockdown on a farm, a sheep farm with my daughter Mary and her four kids and her husband. So I had four of my grandkids, I had Mary, who’s a great cook, so I would just drive myself to the studio. And there were two other guys that could come in and we’d be very careful and distanced and everything: my engineer Steve, and then my equipment guy Keith. So the three of us made the record, and I just started off. I had to do a little bit of film music - I had to do an instrumental for a film thing - so I did that. And I just kept going, and that turned into the opening track on the album. I would just come in, say, “Oh, yeah, what are we gonna do?” [Then] have some sort of idea, and start doing it. Normally, I’d start with the instrument I wrote it on, either piano or guitar, and then probably add some drums and then a bit of bass till it started to sound like a record, and then just gradually layer it all up. It was fun.
Swift: That’s so cool.
McCartney: What about yours? You’re playing guitar and piano on yours.
Swift: Yeah, on some of it, but a lot of it was made with Aaron Dessner, who’s in a band called the National that I really love. And I had met him at a concert a year before, and I had a conversation with him, asking him how he writes. It’s my favorite thing to ask people who I’m a fan of. And he had an interesting answer. He said, “All the band members live in different parts of the world. So I make tracks. And I send them to our lead singer, Matt, and he writes the top line.” I just remember thinking, “That is really efficient.” And I kind of stored it in my brain as a future idea for a project. You know, how you have these ideas... “Maybe one day I’ll do this.” I always had in my head: “Maybe one day I’ll work with Aaron Dessner.”
So when lockdown happened, I was in L.A., and we kind of got stuck there. It’s not a terrible place to be stuck. We were there for four months maybe, and during that time, I sent an email to Aaron Dessner and I said, “Do you think you would want to work during this time? Because my brain is all scrambled, and I need to make something, even if we’re just kind of making songs that we don’t know what will happen...”
McCartney: Yeah, that was the thing. You could do stuff -  you didn’t really worry it was going to turn into anything.
Swift: Yeah, and it turned out he had been writing instrumental tracks to keep from absolutely going crazy during the pandemic as well, so he sends me this file of probably 30 instrumentals, and the first one I opened ended up being a song called “Cardigan,” and it really happened rapid-fire like that. He’d send me a track; he’d make new tracks, add to the folder; I would write the entire top line for a song, and he wouldn’t know what the song would be about, what it was going to be called, where I was going to put the chorus. I had originally thought, “Maybe I’ll make an album in the next year, and put it out in January or something,” but it ended up being done and we put it out in July. And I just thought there are no rules anymore, because I used to put all these parameters on myself, like, “How will this song sound in a stadium? How will this song sound on radio?” If you take away all the parameters, what do you make? And I guess the answer is Folklore.
McCartney: And it’s more music for yourself than music that’s got to go do a job. My thing was similar to that: After having done this little bit of film music, I had a lot of stuff that I had been working on, but I’d said, “I’m just going home now,” and it’d be left half-finished. So I just started saying, “Well, what about that? I never finished that.” So we’d pull it out, and we said, “Oh, well, this could be good.” And because it didn’t have to amount to anything, I would say, “Ah, I really want to do tape loops. I don’t care if they fit on this song, I just want to do some.” So I go and make some tape loops, and put them in the song, just really trying to do stuff that I fancy.
I had no idea it would end up as an album; I may have been a bit less indulgent, but if a track was eight minutes long, to tell you the truth, what I thought was, “I’ll be taking it home tonight, Mary will be cooking, the grandkids will all be there running around, and someone, maybe Simon, Mary’s husband, is going to say, ‘What did you do today?’ And I’m going to go, ‘Oh,’ and then get my phone and play it for them.” So this became the ritual.
Swift: That’s the coziest thing I’ve ever heard.
McCartney: Well, it’s like eight minutes long, and I said, “I hate it when I’m playing someone something and it finishes after three minutes.” I kind of like that it just [continues] on.
Swift: You want to stay in the zone.
McCartney: It just keeps going on. I would just come home, “Well, what did you do today?” “Oh, well, I did this. I’m halfway through this,” or, “We finished this.”
Swift: I was wondering about the numerology element to McCartney III. McCartney I, II, and III have all come out on years with zeroes.
McCartney: Ends of decades.
Swift: Was that important?
McCartney: Yeah, well, this was being done in 2020, and I didn’t really think about it. I think everyone expected great things of 2020. “It’s gonna be great! Look at that number! 2020! Auspicious!” Then suddenly Covid hit, and it was like, “That’s gonna be auspicious all right, but maybe for the wrong reasons.” Someone said to me, “Well, you put out McCartney right after the Beatles broke up, and that was 1970, and then you did McCartney II in 1980.” And I said, “Oh, I’m going to release this in 2020 just for whatever you call it, the numerology...”
Swift: The numerology, the kind of look, the symbolism. I love numbers. Numbers kind of rule my whole world. The numbers 13... 89 is a big one. I have a few others that I find...
McCartney: Thirteen is lucky for some.
Swift: Yeah, it’s lucky for me. It’s my birthday. It’s all these weird coincidences of good things that have happened. Now, when I see it places, I look at it as a sign that things are going the way they’re supposed to. They may not be good now, they could be painful now, but things are on a track. I don’t know, I love the numerology.
McCartney: It’s spooky, Taylor. It’s very spooky. Now wait a minute: Where’d you get 89?
Swift: That’s when I was born, in 1989, and so I see it in different places and I just think it’s...
McCartney: No, it’s good. I like that, where certain things you attach yourself to, and you get a good feeling off them. I think that’s great.
Swift: Yeah, one of my favorite artists, Bon Iver, he has this thing with the number 22. But I was also wondering: You have always kind of seeked out a band or a communal atmosphere with like, you know, the Beatles and Wings, and then Egypt Station. I thought it was interesting when I realized you had made a record with no one else. I just wondered, did that feel natural?
McCartney: It’s one of the things I’ve done. Like with McCartney, because the Beatles had broken up, there was no alternative but to get a drum kit at home, get a guitar, get an amp, get a bass, and just make something for myself. So on that album, which I didn’t really expect to do very well, I don’t think it did. But people sort of say, “I like that. It was a very casual album.” It didn’t really have to mean anything. So I’ve done that, the play-everything-myself thing. And then I discovered synths and stuff, and sequencers, so I had a few of those at home. I just thought I’m going to play around with this and record it, so that became McCartney II. But it’s a thing I do. Certain people can do it. Stevie Wonder can do it. Stevie Winwood, I believe, has done it. So there are certain people quite like that.
When you’re working with someone else, you have to worry about their variances. Whereas your own variance, you kind of know it. It’s just something I’ve grown to like. Once you can do it, it becomes a little bit addictive. I actually made some records under the name the Fireman.
Swift: Love a pseudonym.
McCartney: Yeah, for the fun! But, you know, let’s face it, you crave fame and attention when you’re young. And I just remembered the other day, I was the guy in the Beatles that would write to journalists and say [speaks in a formal voice]: “We are a semiprofessional rock combo, and I’d think you’d like [us]... We’ve written over 100 songs (which was a lie), my friend John and I. If you mention us in your newspaper...” You know, I was always, like, craving the attention.
Swift: The hustle! That’s so great, though.
McCartney: Well, yeah, you need that.
Swift: Yeah, I think, when a pseudonym comes in is when you still have a love for making the work and you don’t want the work to become overshadowed by this thing that’s been built around you, based on what people know about you. And that’s when it’s really fun to create fake names and write under them.
McCartney: Do you ever do that?
Swift: Oh, yeah.
McCartney: Oh, yeah? Oh, well, we didn’t know that! Is that a widely known fact?
Swift: I think it is now, but it wasn’t. I wrote under the name Nils Sjöberg because those are two of the most popular names of Swedish males. I wrote this song called “This Is What You Came For” that Rihanna ended up singing. And nobody knew for a while. I remembered always hearing that when Prince wrote “Manic Monday,” they didn’t reveal it for a couple of months.
McCartney: Yeah, it also proves you can do something without the fame tag. I did something for Peter and Gordon; my girlfriend’s brother and his mate were in a band called Peter and Gordon. And I used to write under the name Bernard Webb.
Swift: [Laughs.] That’s a good one! I love it.
McCartney: As Americans call it, Ber-nard Webb. I did the Fireman thing. I worked with a producer, a guy called Youth, who’s this real cool dude. We got along great. He did a mix for me early on, and we got friendly. I would just go into the studio, and he would say, “Hey, what about this groove?” and he’d just made me have a little groove going. He’d say, “You ought to put some bass on it. Put some drums on it.” I’d just spend the whole day putting stuff on it. And we’d make these tracks, and nobody knew who Fireman was for a while. We must have sold all of 15 copies.
Swift: Thrilling, absolutely thrilling.
McCartney: And we didn’t mind, you know?
Swift: I think it’s so cool that you do projects that are just for you. Because I went with my family to see you in concert in 2010 or 2011, and the thing I took away from the show most was that it was the most selfless set list I had ever seen. It was completely geared toward what it would thrill us to hear. It had new stuff, but it had every hit we wanted to hear, every song we’d ever cried to, every song people had gotten married to, or been brokenhearted to. And I just remembered thinking, “I’ve got to remember that,” that you do that set list for your fans.
McCartney: You do that, do you?
Swift: I do now. I think that learning that lesson from you taught me at a really important stage in my career that if people want to hear “Love Story” and “Shake It Off,” and I’ve played them 300 million times, play them the 300-millionth-and-first time. I think there are times to be selfish in your career, and times to be selfless, and sometimes they line up.
McCartney: I always remembered going to concerts as a kid, completely before the Beatles, and I really hoped they would play the ones I loved. And if they didn’t, it was kind of disappointing. I had no money, and the family wasn’t wealthy. So this would be a big deal for me, to save up for months to afford the concert ticket.
Swift: Yeah, it feels like a bond. It feels like that person on the stage has given something, and it makes you as a crowd want to give even more back, in terms of applause, in terms of dedication. And I just remembered feeling that bond in the crowd, and thinking, “He’s up there playing these Beatles songs, my dad is crying, my mom is trying to figure out how to work her phone because her hands are shaking so much.” Because seeing the excitement course through not only me, but my family and the entire crowd in Nashville, it just was really special. I love learning lessons and not having to learn them the hard way. Like learning nice lessons I really value.
McCartney: Well, that’s great, and I’m glad that set you on that path. I understand people who don’t want to do that, and if you do, they’ll say, “Oh, it’s a jukebox show.” I hear what they’re saying. But I think it’s a bit of a cheat, because the people who come to our shows have spent a lot of money. We can afford to go to a couple of shows and it doesn’t make much difference. But a lot of ordinary working folks... it’s a big event in their life, and so I try and deliver. I also, like you say, try and put in a few weirdos.
Swift: That’s the best. I want to hear current things, too, to update me on where the artist is. I was wondering about lyrics, and where you were lyrically when you were making this record. Because when I was making Folklore, I went lyrically in a total direction of escapism and romanticism. And I wrote songs imagining I was, like, a pioneer woman in a forbidden love affair [laughs]. I was completely...
McCartney: Was this “I want to give you a child”? Is that one of the lines?
Swift: Oh, that’s a song called “Peace.”
McCartney: “Peace,” I like that one.
Swift: “Peace” is actually more rooted in my personal life. I know you have done a really excellent job of this in your personal life: carving out a human life within a public life, and how scary that can be when you do fall in love and you meet someone, especially if you’ve met someone who has a very grounded, normal way of living. I, oftentimes, in my anxieties, can control how I am as a person and how normal I act and rationalize things, but I cannot control if there are 20 photographers outside in the bushes and what they do and if they follow our car and if they interrupt our lives. I can’t control if there’s going to be a fake weird headline about us in the news tomorrow.
McCartney: So how does that go? Does your partner sympathize with that and understand?
Swift: Oh, absolutely.
McCartney: They have to, don’t they?
Swift: But I think that in knowing him and being in the relationship I am in now, I have definitely made decisions that have made my life feel more like a real life and less like just a storyline to be commented on in tabloids. Whether that’s deciding where to live, who to hang out with, when to not take a picture - the idea of privacy feels so strange to try to explain, but it’s really just trying to find bits of normalcy. That’s what that song “Peace” is talking about. Like, would it be enough if I could never fully achieve the normalcy that we both crave? Stella always tells me that she had as normal a childhood as she could ever hope for under the circumstances.
McCartney: Yeah, it was very important to us to try and keep their feet on the ground amongst the craziness.
Swift: She went to a regular school...
McCartney: Yeah, she did.
Swift: And you would go trick-or-treating with them, wearing masks.
McCartney: All of them did, yeah. It was important, but it worked pretty well, because when they kind of reached adulthood, they would meet other kids who might have gone to private schools, who were a little less grounded.
And they could be the budding mothers to [kids]. I remember Mary had a friend, Orlando. Not Bloom. She used to really counsel him. And it’s ’cause she’d gone through that. Obviously, they got made fun of, my kids. They’d come in the classroom and somebody would sing, “Na na na na,” you know, one of the songs. And they’d have to handle that. They’d have to front it out.
Swift: Did that give you a lot of anxiety when you had kids, when you felt like all this pressure that’s been put on me is spilling over onto them, that they didn’t sign up for it? Was that hard for you?
McCartney: Yeah, a little bit, but it wasn’t like it is now. You know, we were just living a kind of semi-hippie life, where we withdrew from a lot of stuff. The kids would be doing all the ordinary things, and their school friends would be coming up to the house and having parties, and it was just great. I remember one lovely evening when it was Stella’s birthday, and she brought a bunch of school kids up. And, you know, they’d all ignore me. It happens very quickly. At first they’re like, “Oh, yeah, he’s like a famous guy,” and then it’s like [yawns]. I like that. I go in the other room and suddenly I hear this music going on. And one of the kids, his name was Luke, and he’s doing break dancing.
Swift: Ohhh!
McCartney: He was a really good break dancer, so all the kids are hanging out. That allowed them to be kind of normal with those kids. The other thing is, I don’t live fancy. I really don’t. Sometimes it’s a little bit of an embarrassment, if I’ve got someone coming to visit me, or who I know…
Swift: Cares about that stuff?
McCartney: Who’s got a nice big house, you know. Quincy Jones came to see me and I’m, like, making him a veggie burger or something. I’m doing some cooking. This was after I’d lost Linda, in between there. But the point I’m making is that I’m very consciously thinking, “Oh, God, Quincy’s got to be thinking, ‘What is this guy on? He hasn’t got big things going on. It’s not a fancy house at all. And we’re eating in the kitchen! He’s not even got the dining room going,’” you know?
Swift: I think that sounds like a perfect day.
McCartney: But that’s me. I’m awkward like that. That’s my kind of thing. Maybe I should have, like, a big stately home. Maybe I should get a staff. But I think I couldn’t do that. I’d be so embarrassed. I’d want to walk around dressed as I want to walk around, or naked, if I wanted to.
Swift: That can’t happen in Downton Abbey.
McCartney: [Laughs.] Exactly.
Swift: I remember what I wanted to know about, which is lyrics. Like, when you’re in this kind of strange, unparalleled time, and you’re making this record, are lyrics first? Or is it when you get a little melodic idea?
McCartney: It was a bit of both. As it kind of always is with me. There’s no fixed way. People used to ask me and John, “Well, who does the words, who does the music?” I used to say, “We both do both.” We used to say we don’t have a formula, and we don’t want one. Because the minute we get a formula, we should rip it up. I will sometimes, as I did with a couple of songs on this album, sit down at the piano and just start noodling around, and I’ll get a little idea and start to fill that out. So the lyrics - for me, it’s following a trail. I’ll start [sings “Find My Way,” a song from “McCartney III”]: “I can find my way. I know my left from right, da da da.” And I’ll just sort of fill it in. Like, we know this song, and I’m trying to remember the lyrics. Sometimes I’ll just be inspired by something. I had a little book which was all about the constellations and the stars and the orbits of Venus and...
Swift: Oh, I know that song - “The Kiss of Venus”?
McCartney: Yeah, “The Kiss of Venus.” And I just thought, “That’s a nice phrase.” So I was actually just taking phrases out of the book, harmonic sounds. And the book is talking about the maths of the universe, and how when things orbit around each other, and if you trace all the patterns, it becomes like a lotus flower.
Swift: Wow.
McCartney: It’s very magical.
Swift: That is magical. I definitely relate to needing to find magical things in this very not-magical time, needing to read more books and learn to sew, and watch movies that take place hundreds of years ago. In a time where, if you look at the news, you just want to have a panic attack - I really relate to the idea that you are thinking about stars and constellations.
McCartney: Did you do that on Folklore?
Swift: Yes. I was reading so much more than I ever did, and watching so many more films.
McCartney: What stuff were you reading?
Swift: I was reading, you know, books like Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier, which I highly recommend, and books that dealt with times past, a world that doesn’t exist anymore. I was also using words I always wanted to use - kind of bigger, flowerier, prettier words, like “epiphany,” in songs. I always thought, “Well, that’ll never track on pop radio,” but when I was making this record, I thought, “What tracks? Nothing makes sense anymore. If there’s chaos everywhere, why don’t I just use the damn word I want to use in the song?”
McCartney: Exactly. So you’d see the word in a book and think, “I love that word”?
Swift: Yeah, I have favorite words, like “elegies” and “epiphany” and “divorcée,” and just words that I think sound beautiful, and I have lists and lists of them.
McCartney: How about “marzipan”?
Swift: Love “marzipan.”
McCartney: The other day, I was remembering when we wrote “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”: “kaleidoscope.”
Swift: “Kaleidoscope” is one of mine! I have a song on 1989, a song called “Welcome to New York,” that I put the word “kaleidoscope” in just because I’m obsessed with the word.
McCartney: I think a love of words is a great thing, particularly if you’re going to try to write a lyric, and for me, it’s like, “What is this going to say to that person?” I often feel like I’m writing to someone who is not doing so well. So I’m trying to write songs that might help. Not in a goody-goody, crusading kind of way, but just thinking there have been so many times in my life when I’ve heard a song and felt so much better. I think that’s the angle I want, that inspirational thing.
I remember once, a friend of mine from Liverpool, we were teenagers and we were going to a fairground. He was a schoolmate, and we had these jackets that had a little fleck in the material, which was the cool thing at the time.
Swift: We should have done matching jackets for this photo shoot.
McCartney: Find me a fleck, I’m in. But we went to the fair, and I just remember - this is what happens with songs - there was this girl at the fair. This is just a little Liverpool fair - it was in a place called Sefton Park - and there was this girl, who was so beautiful. She wasn’t a star. She was so beautiful. Everyone was following her, and it’s like, “Wow.” It’s like a magical scene, you know? But all this gave me a headache, so I ended up going back to his house - I didn’t normally get headaches. And we thought, “What can we do?” So we put on the Elvis song “All Shook Up.” By the end of that song, my headache had gone. I thought, you know, “That’s powerful.”
Swift: That really is powerful.
McCartney: I love that, when people stop me in the street and say, “Oh, I was going through an illness and I listened to a lot of your stuff, and I’m better now and it got me through,” or kids will say, “It got me through exams.” You know, they’re studying, they’re going crazy, but they put your music on. I’m sure it happens with a lot of your fans. It inspires them, you know?
Swift: Yeah, I definitely think about that as a goal. There’s so much stress everywhere you turn that I kind of wanted to make an album that felt sort of like a hug, or like your favorite sweater that makes you feel like you want to put it on.
McCartney: What, a “cardigan”?
Swift: Like a good cardigan, a good, worn-in cardigan. Or something that makes you reminisce on your childhood. I think sadness can be cozy. It can obviously be traumatic and stressful, too, but I kind of was trying to lean into sadness that feels like somehow enveloping in not such a scary way - like nostalgia and whimsy incorporated into a feeling like you’re not all right. Because I don’t think anybody was really feeling like they were in their prime this year. Isolation can mean escaping into your imagination in a way that’s kind of nice.
McCartney: I think a lot of people have found that. I would say to people, “I feel a bit guilty about saying I’m actually enjoying this quarantine thing,” and people go, “Yeah, I know, don’t say it to anyone.” A lot of people are really suffering.
Swift: Because there’s a lot in life that’s arbitrary. Completely and totally arbitrary. And [the quarantine] is really shining a light on that, and also a lot of things we have that we outsource that you can actually do yourself.
McCartney: I love that. This is why I said I live simply. That’s, like, at the core of it. With so many things, something goes wrong and you go, “Oh, I’ll get somebody to fix that.” And then it’s like, “No, let me have a look at it...”
Swift: Get a hammer and a nail.
McCartney: “Maybe I can put that picture up.” It’s not rocket science. The period after the Beatles, when we went to live in Scotland on a really - talk about dumpy - little farm. I mean, I see pictures of it now and I’m not ashamed, but I’m almost ashamed. Because it’s like, “God, nobody’s cleaned up around here.”
But it was really a relief. Because when I was with the Beatles, we’d formed Apple Records, and if I wanted a Christmas tree, someone would just buy it. And I thought, after a while, “No, you know what? I really would like to go and buy our Christmas tree. Because that’s what everyone does.” So you go down - “I’ll have that one” - and you carried it back. I mean, it’s little, but it’s huge at the same time.
I needed a table in Scotland and I was looking through a catalog and I thought, “I could make one. I did woodwork in school, so I know what a dovetail joint is.” So I just figured it out. I’m just sitting in the kitchen, and I’m whittling away at this wood and I made this little joint. There was no nail technology - it was glue. And I was scared to put it together. I said, “It’s not going to fit,” but one day, I got my woodwork glue and thought, “There’s no going back.” But it turned out to be a real nice little table I was very proud of. It was that sense of achievement.
The weird thing was, Stella went up to Scotland recently and I said, “Isn’t it there?” and she said, “No.” Anyway, I searched for it. Nobody remembered it. Somebody said, “Well, there’s a pile of wood in the corner of one of the barns, maybe that’s it. Maybe they used it for firewood.” I said, “No, it’s not firewood.” Anyway, we found it, and do you know how joyous that was for me? I was like, “You found my table?!” Somebody might say that’s a bit boring.
Swift: No, it’s cool!
McCartney: But it was a real sort of great thing for me to be able to do stuff for yourself. You were talking about sewing. I mean normally, in your position, you’ve got any amount of tailors.
Swift: Well, there’s been a bit of a baby boom recently; several of my friends have gotten pregnant.
McCartney: Oh, yeah, you’re at the age.
Swift: And I was just thinking, “I really want to spend time with my hands, making something for their children.” So I made this really cool flying-squirrel stuffed animal that I sent to one of my friends. I sent a teddy bear to another one, and I started making these little silk baby blankets with embroidery. It’s gotten pretty fancy. And I’ve been painting a lot.
McCartney: What do you paint? Watercolors?
Swift: Acrylic or oil. Whenever I do watercolor, all I paint is flowers. When I have oil, I really like to do landscapes. I always kind of return to painting a lonely little cottage on a hill.
McCartney: It’s a bit of a romantic dream. I agree with you, though, I think you’ve got to have dreams, particularly this year. You’ve got to have something to escape to. When you say “escapism,” it sounds like a dirty word, but this year, it definitely wasn’t. And in the books you’re reading, you’ve gone into that world. That’s, I think, a great thing. Then you come back out. I normally will read a lot before I go to bed. So I’ll come back out, then I’ll go to sleep, so I think it really is nice to have those dreams that can be fantasies or stuff you want to achieve.
Swift: You’re creating characters. This was the first album where I ever created characters, or wrote about the life of a real-life person. There’s a song called “The Last Great American Dynasty” that’s about this real-life heiress who lived just an absolutely chaotic, hectic...
McCartney: She’s a fantasy character?
Swift: She’s a real person. Who lived in the house that I live in.
McCartney: She’s a real person? I listened to that and I thought, “Who is this?”
Swift: Her name was Rebekah Harkness. And she lived in the house that I ended up buying in Rhode Island. That’s how I learned about her. But she was a woman who was very, very talked about, and everything she did was scandalous. I found a connection in that. But I also was thinking about how you write “Eleanor Rigby” and go into that whole story about what all these people in this town are doing and how their lives intersect, and I hadn’t really done that in a very long time with my music. It had always been so microscope personal.
McCartney: Yeah, ’cause you were writing breakup songs like they were going out of style.
Swift: I was, before my luck changed [laughs]. I still write breakup songs. I love a good breakup song. Because somewhere in the world, I always have a friend going through a breakup, and that will make me write one.
McCartney: Yeah, this goes back to this thing of me and John: When you’ve got a formula, break it. I don’t have a formula. It’s the mood I’m in. So I love the idea of writing a character. And, you know, trying to think, “What am I basing this on?” So “Eleanor Rigby” was based on old ladies I knew as a kid. For some reason or other, I got great relationships with a couple of local old ladies. I was thinking the other day, I don’t know how I met them, it wasn’t like they were family. I’d just run into them, and I’d do their shopping for them.
Swift: That’s amazing.
McCartney: It just felt good to me. I would sit and talk, and they’d have amazing stories. That’s what I liked. They would have stories from the wartime - because I was born actually in the war - and so these old ladies, they were participating in the war. This one lady I used to sort of just hang out with, she had a crystal radio that I found very magical. In the war, a lot of people made their own radios - you’d make them out of crystals [sings “The Twilight Zone” theme].
Swift: How did I not know this? That sounds like something I would have tried to learn about.
McCartney: It’s interesting, because there is a lot of parallels with the virus and lockdowns and wartime. It happened to everyone. Like, this isn’t HIV, or SARS, or Avian flu, which happened to others, generally. This has happened to everyone, all around the world. That’s the defining thing about this particular virus. And, you know, my parents... it happened to everyone in Britain, including the queen and Churchill. War happened. So they were all part of this thing, and they all had to figure out a way through it. So you figured out Folklore. I figured out McCartney III.
Swift: And a lot of people have been baking sourdough bread. Whatever gets you through!
McCartney: Some people used to make radios. And they’d take a crystal - we should look it up, but it actually is a crystal. I thought, “Oh, no, they just called it a crystal radio,” but it’s actually crystals like we know and love.
Swift: Wow.
McCartney: And somehow they get the radio waves - this crystal attracts them - they tune it in, and that’s how they used to get their news. Back to “Eleanor Rigby,” so I would think of her and think of what she’s doing and then just try to get lyrical, just try to bring poetry into it, words you love, just try to get images like “picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been,” and Father McKenzie “is darning his socks in the night.” You know, he’s a religious man, so I could’ve said, you know, “preparing his Bible,” which would have been more obvious. But “darning his socks” kind of says more about him. So you get into this lovely fantasy. And that’s the magic of songs, you know. It’s a black hole, and then you start doing this process, and then there’s this beautiful little flower that you’ve just made. So it is very like embroidery, making something.
Swift: Making a table.
McCartney: Making a table.
Swift: Wow, it would’ve been so fun to play Glastonbury for the 50th anniversary together.
McCartney: It would’ve been great, wouldn’t it? And I was going to be asking you to play with me.
Swift: Were you going to invite me? I was hoping that you would. I was going to ask you.
McCartney: I would’ve done “Shake It Off.”
Swift: Oh, my God, that would have been amazing.
McCartney: I know it, it’s in C!
Swift: One thing I just find so cool about you is that you really do seem to have the joy of it, still, just no matter what. You seem to have the purest sense of joy of playing an instrument and making music, and that’s just the best, I think.
McCartney: Well, we’re just so lucky, aren’t we?
Swift: We’re really lucky.
McCartney: I don’t know if it ever happens to you, but with me, it’s like, “Oh, my god, I’ve ended up as a musician.”
Swift: Yeah, I can’t believe it’s my job.
McCartney: I must tell you a story I told Mary the other day, which is just one of my favorite little sort of Beatles stories. We were in a terrible, big blizzard, going from London to Liverpool, which we always did. We’d be working in London and then drive back in the van, just the four of us with our roadie, who would be driving. And this was a blizzard. You couldn’t see the road. At one point, it slid off and it went down an embankment. So it was “Ahhh,” a bunch of yelling. We ended up at the bottom. It didn’t flip, luckily, but so there we are, and then it’s like, “Oh, how are we going to get back up? We’re in a van. It’s snowing, and there’s no way.” We’re all standing around in a little circle, and thinking, “What are we going to do?” And one of us said, “Well, something will happen.” And I thought that was just the greatest. I love that, that’s a philosophy.
Swift: “Something will happen.”
McCartney: And it did. We sort of went up the bank, we thumbed a lift, we got the lorry driver to take us, and Mal, our roadie, sorted the van and everything. So that was kind of our career. And I suppose that’s like how I ended up being a musician and a songwriter: “Something will happen.”
Swift: That’s the best.
McCartney: It’s so stupid it’s brilliant. It’s great if you’re ever in that sort of panic attack: “Oh, my God,” or, “Ahhh, what am I going to do?”
Swift: “Something will happen.”
McCartney: All right then, thanks for doing this, and this was, you know, a lot of fun.
Swift: You’re the best. This was so awesome. Those were some quality stories!
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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years ago
Text
A Deafened Bard (Stephen Strange x Female!Reader) pt. 2
Doctor Strange and y/n confide their tragic backstories in one another. Y/n struggles with her feelings for him.
Trigger warnings: abusive parenting, use of firearms, discussion of death and grief, mention of alcoholism
"On the outside, always looking in
Will I ever be more than I've always been?
Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass-"
You stopped yourself before you could indulgently belt out the titular lyric.
"Ew, why was I singing that?" You muttered to yourself. "I don't even like that song." 
You knew, subconsciously, that it was because you were trying to avoid what you really wanted to sing. For the first time ever, you had an audience. Someone was paying attention. 
"Love of my life, you've hurt me-"
"Oh, come on, butterfingers." He interrupted. "Love of my Life by Freddie Mercury. Give me something hard." 
"I wasn't aware it was classic rock trivia night." 
"Then why were you staring straight at me while singing?" He smirked. 
"Was I?" You cocked your head, expertly deflecting his implication. "I'm so spaced out I don't even know where I'm looking." 
"It's Freddie Mercury." He insisted.
"Uh, yes and no." You corrected, drawing on your encyclopedic knowledge of Queen from one particularly weird summer in high school. "While Freddie Mercury wrote the song, it was recorded on a Night at the Opera. Which was accredited to the whole band." 
"That's a nitpick," he shook his head. "I'm still right." 
You couldn't wear your heart on your sleeve anymore. You could only distract him with 70s glam rock trivia for so long before he started to notice a pattern. Although a sappy love song was in your heart, you sang the anthem of the depressed theater kid. 
You were staring straight at him, though. But who wouldn't? You studied his features only for artistic inspiration. His sharp jaw and high, high cheekbones were… inspiring. 
You couldn't lie to yourself. You fell and fell hard.
"Butterfingers!" Master Strange called out from the other side of the sanctum. "I need you!" 
You dropped your pencil and pushed yourself out from the chair. "Coming!" 
You followed the voice into his chambers. This was a new development, you thought. Out of respect for his privacy, you'd never dared to snoop around in his bedroom. But this was practically a written invitation. 
The room was spotless. Not a book or a scrap of paper out of place. Nor was there much to look at at all. A handful of picture frames, some magazines from when he was a surgeon, all featuring himself on the cover. 
"Butterfingers!" He called again, as if he knew you were about to snoop.
"I'm here!" You yelled back, eyes wandering around the room. "What do you need?" 
"I left my watch somewhere in the library!" He sounded disproportionately panicked for what was just a minor inconvenience. "I need you to go get it for me." 
"What does it look like?" You asked. 
"It's a $27,000 watch." He snapped impatiently. "It looks like one." 
"Jesus." You cursed.
"Don't give me that shit, [F/N]." He ordered, slamming his fist down against the sink. "Just do what you're goddamn told." 
"Alright, alright!" You put your hands up. "Fine, I'll get it." 
You hurried down the stairs and into the library. On the floor between his favorite chair and a stack of musty old books was a slim, silvery watch with a plain black band.
You picked it up and examined it. Apart from the price tag, was there really any reason for him to be so worried about it? He knew exactly where he left it. Did he have reason to believe it wouldn't be there when he returned? 
All you needed to do was flip it over to get your answer. You read the inscription on the back. 
Time will tell how much I love you -- Christine 
You should have known that his massive ego wouldn’t keep the women away forever. Hell, it certainly didn’t deter you. Much uglier douchebags have gotten far prettier girlfriends than they deserved.
You closed your fingers around the watch and sighed. The fantasy you created for yourself, of slowly, deliberately earning his love was shattered. Christine already beat you to it, it seemed. You tried to smother the part of you that resented this person for her exclusive right to Master Strange's affections. You didn't know her, but you loathed her. And you felt filthy for it.
With a heavy heart, you brought the stupid, criminally expensive little timepiece back to its rightful owner. 
"Here's your all-important watch, master." You mumbled, placing it on the bedside table. 
"I know I told you I would give you space to question things," He said, swiping it from the table and expertly affixing it around his wrist. "But I'd really appreciate it if you didn't question this." 
You tried to sound as non-passive-aggressive as you could. You attempted a more forgiving tone, but you couldn't hide your hurt. "It's fine. I don't care." 
"I didn't mean to get short with you, [F/N]." His voice softened. "I'm sorry. But this watch-" 
"It's fine." You cut him off, peering at the floor. 
"It was a gift." He finished anyway. 
You felt the lump in your throat rising. You knew what the watch represented and you wanted to smash it to pieces. Along with the sting of rejection, you felt the sting of tears in your eyes. "I know. I saw the engraving."
"She died two years ago." He lowered his head. 
Suddenly, all your ill will towards this woman turned into guilt. 
"I'm sorry to hear that." You said. "I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone who loved you so much." 
"She had agreed to come to a speaking engagement with me. As a second chance, and-" Pain wrapped his voice. He closed his hand tightly around the watch and held it close to his chest. "Have you ever been in love before, [F/N]?"
From the way your heart ached, and how easily the thought of never being with him made you cry, you knew the answer. You'd been avoiding speaking it into being thus far, but you couldn't lie to yourself anymore.
"Yes." You whispered. 
"You'll learn soon enough." He muttered. "It only brings more suffering." 
The tears finally breached and you tried to blink them away. You didn't know what emotion was causing them: guilt, shame, contempt, anger, sadness-- they were all present.
"Master Strange, I-" you stuttered, tripping over your breath. "I respect what you've gone through, I really do, but it's not fair to take it out on me." 
"You're right." He conceded. "I'm sorry. Please, go get some sleep.”
You nodded. “Right.” 
You slept as late as you could get away with the next morning. In apprentice terms, that only meant sleeping until eight thirty. Your dailies could wait an extra hour while you laid in bed, feeling like garbage. 
You stumbled down the spiral staircase in your pajamas. No bra, no makeup and no effort. You didn’t even run a brush through your hair. Why try, you thought. Why make an effort for the man who would never see you as anything but the help? 
When you saw the piano, though, you did a full 180.
In the living area was a French cherry baby grand piano that definitely was not there before. You certainly would have noticed it before. You placed your phone on the counter and approached the new addition. 
As if the memories were woven into the very muscles and ligaments of your fingers, you ran down a few octaves of C Major. The keys were smooth as porcelain and the sound that emanated from the instrument was next to heavenly. 
A bright orange post-it note was stuck to the music rack. 
“Love of my Life”, Queen, A Night at the Opera. 1975 
Was this a request, or an admission of wrong? Whatever the case, it made you smile. 
"You weren't being entirely honest with me, Butterfingers." He said, randomly materializing behind you. 
You turned around on the piano bench and looked up at him. "What was I not honest about?" 
"I'm so glad you asked." He sat down on the bench next to you, phone in hand. "Because when you said you used to play piano, you didn't specify you were actually a student prodigy." 
Sure enough, on his phone, he was scrolling through your Instagram. Dozens of videos of a much younger [F/N] playing hundreds of different songs, singing with too many vocal runs and doing so with the entire content of her soul behind the music. 
"Student prodigy is a bit strong." You turned your head to hide your blush. 
He scrolled up and found a picture of a young, zit-faced teenage [F/N] holding an acceptance letter. "Last I checked, Juilliard doesn't give full-ride scholarships to just anyone." 
You covered your face with your hands, smothering an embarrassed smile. "God, please. I'd rather you'd found my OnlyFans." 
He raised his eyebrows. "As tempting as that sounds, I'd still rather hear your explanation on this. Why did you give up on something you loved?"
You looked at him in surprise. "You really want to know?" 
"Well, I told you mine." He playfully nudged you in the side. 
You took a deep breath in. "Well, it was about two years ago, now-”
"Cheers to you, [F/N]!" Your best friend Holly raised her glass of champagne in your direction. "Juilliard ain't gonna know what hit ‘em."
"I'll drink to that." You said, bring your own flute up to your lips and taking a swig. You wretched in disgust as the vile liquid ran down your throat. "Or maybe I won't."
"You're gonna have to get used to it." Holly nudged you with her elbow. "I think most professional musicians are alcoholics."
You narrowed your eyes at her. "I don't think that's right."
"Is too." She smirked. "Conductors are mad strict. Abusive even. Drive musicians to drink all the time."
You laughed. "Is everything you know about the world of music from Whiplash?"
"And The Perfection." She added.
"Thank you, Holly." You said, attempting to take another sip of champagne, purely for dramatic effect. "Very cool."
You felt a pair of hands on your shoulders. "Hi, Holly. Enjoying the party?"
Holly took a step back. "Hey, Mrs. [L/N]. Yeah, it's great."
"I hope you don't mind," Your mom said, her fake nice voice eeking through her clenched teeth. "I need to borrow [F/N] for a few minutes."
Holly's face fell. "Sure. I'll catch up with you later, [F/N]."
Your mother tugged you off to the side. With a stressed huff, she began. "Jason is out in the fields with his ROTC friends."
"And what do you want me to do about that?" You asked, knowing her drunk self couldn't read your sarcastic tone.
"Could you go get him and bring him home?" She said, squeezing your upper arm.
"Are you kidding?" You spat.
"[F/N], he's drunk." She scolded. "Do you want him to get another strike on his record?"
"I don't care." You mumbled under your breath. "Have him call an uber. Hell, let him sleep it off in the field. Not my problem."
"You know what he's like when he's drunk." She rationalized. "He gets rowdy. It had better be you."
You tensed up. "No. Holly and I are going to the French Quarter. I don't have time to babysit Jason."
"Just pick him up on your way there?" She pleaded. "It won't take long."
You knew this wasn't going to stop. "Fine, but this is the last time."
You were both dressed far too well to be trekking through the swampy ass nowhere when you should have been fucking your way through the French Quarter. Luckily for your evening plans, all you needed to do was follow the sound of gunshots.
You slammed the car door shut and Holly followed suit. Finding him was the easy part. The hard part was hauling his drunk ass back home.
"Fun's over, shithead." You announced, heels sinking into the sod as you spoke. You didn't have much trouble projecting over the gunfire and getting their attention.
"Shit, [F/N]?" Jason sputtered, so drunk he could barely keep his head straight.
"Holy shit, I didn't even recognize you in that dress." One of his dumb fuck friends added. He jabbed Jason in the side. "Why didn't you tell me your sister's hot?"
"Buster, I-'' You clenched your teeth. "I don't care if you live or die, but my mom needs me to bring Jason home."
"If you get in the car now, we won't have to use the chloroform." Holly added.
Jason scratched the back of his head with the barrel of his gun, then pointed it at you. "You're gonna have to make me."
"Jesus fucking Christ!" You exclaimed, hitting the deck. "What the fuck, Jason!?"
Jason and his dumbass friends laughed. "You should have seen the look on your face, [F/N]!"
"Put down the fucking gun-" You seethed. "And get in the fucking car."
He lowered the gun and looked like he was going to concede. Just when you thought he would cooperate, he stuck it up again. He keeled over in a fit of laughter when you and Holly panicked again.
"Look at them!" He shouted. "They're so fucking scared!"
You knew out in the middle of the swamp, nobody could hear you scream. So you used it to your advantage.
"Jason, you're going in the car, or under it." You raised your voice. "I will mow your drunk ass down like eight day old roadkill right here in this field and you will be LUCKY if anyone finds your bloated, shit-covered remains before the crocodiles get a whiff of you."
That seemed to get his attention.
"Sorry, boys." He pouted. "You heard her."
He had to 'get you' one final time, though. Only that time, the gun went off. Just centimeters from your ear. You clutched the side of your head, trying to drown out the deafening ringing with your screams.
You vaguely remembered Holly pistol-whipping Jason before loading you into the car to drive you to the hospital, leaving him desolate and drunk in the field.
"It was a one-in-a-million shot." The otolaryngologist tried not to sound impressed at what was clearly some kind of anomaly very few got to witness in a medical career. "When the bullet fired, the gunpowder traveled down your ear canal, burning the cells of your auditory nervous system and... singing your eardrum... clean off."
Your eyes widened. "Off?!"
The doctor lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Miss [L/N]. I'm afraid you'll never return to full hearing again."
You didn't want to kill the messenger. You knew she was only doing her job. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"
"If we could do a tympanoplasty, which, given the condition of the drum, is unlikely-" she began. "There would still be no way to fully repair the hair cells along the ear canal."
You took deep breaths to try and quell your simmering rage. "I'm leaving for Juilliard in three months."
"Hearing aid technology has improved significantly over the last decade." She said, a somewhat hopeful upturn in her voice.
That was when your mother decided to join in on the conversation. "Oh, we can't afford that."
You thought you were going to crush your teeth into bits from how tightly your jaw was clenched in fury. "Take it out of Jason's college fund, then."
"Oh, [F/N]." She said as if you had just told the funniest joke imaginable. "Please. That wouldn't be fair to Jason."
"You can afford to send that blithering idiot to the Citadel." You hissed. "You can afford to buy me a hearing aid so I can play piano."
"Beethoven was entirely deaf." Your mom pointed out. "And he became the greatest composer of all time. It's really just mind over matter, sweetie-"
"Sure, that makes perfect sense!" You plastered on a deranged smile, feeling driven to the brink of madness. "I can repair my destroyed eardrum with the power of positive thinking! Jason gets thirty-five thousand dollars a year to play soldier, but I have to just use my imagination."
She covered her face with her hands as if she was being attacked and went into kicked-puppy mode. "Don't be mad at Jason, [F/N]. He didn't mean to hurt you-"
"Fuck this." You said, releasing all your tension in those two words. "Fuck all of this. I'm tired of you defending that chauvinist asshole. The next time you see me will be when one of us is dead."
"Where are you going?!" She wailed.
You snatched your purse from the table and threw it over your shoulder. "I'm moving out."
“Disgraced at age nineteen?" Master Strange said, leaning back on the piano. "Let me guess, you turned to alcohol to cope?"
"You'd think, but actually no." You shook your head. The tone of the conversation had taken a sharp left turn from sadness to dry, apathetic amusement. "I probably would have if I could have afforded it."
"You missed out." He said. "Drinking a whole bottle of eighty year old scotch was definitely the highlight of my grieving period."
You'd never joined the clauses 'Master Strange' and 'drunk off his ass' in the same sentence before then. It was an odd mental picture for sure. One you needed to see to believe.
"I got desperate." You admitted. "Luckily, New Orleans had a lot to offer someone like me, so I didn't have to go far to find people claiming to have answers. But it was all essential oils, incense, binaural beats-"
"I'm sorry," he cut in. "What kind of dickhead suggests binaural beats to someone with only one functioning ear?"
You threw up your hands. "Right? Doesn't make sense. Anyway, I came across a woman named Mistress Fantina and she pointed me in the right direction. How to heal my body through control of my spirit."
He looked at you with that fascination of the human body characteristic of those in the medical field. "It worked, I assume?"
"I figured it out." You shrugged. "But I got so invested in the Mystic Arts that I forgot all about Juilliard. Became a full-time student. Ever since, I never once thought about returning to my old life."
"I suppose if I'd discovered this world because I had lost, say, my ability to perform surgery, it would be hard to leave it behind and return to the operating room." He thought out loud. Sighing, he closed his hand over his watch. "But no matter how medical science evolves, you can't reverse death."
You let the quiet linger for a moment.
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thompsonstessa-moved · 3 years ago
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Måneskin interview for TVN24 - english translation
Few days ago an interview (on video) with Måneskin came out in Poland on TVN24 channel, sadly its paywalled on their site (and the tv only showed a bit).
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However, I got a transcript of it and decided to translate it for you guys :D
Also, while the interview took place in Poland (day before the Sopot festival), the interviewer knew italian, so they talked in italian and the TV translated it to polish (and dubbed them!!! :( ). So I hope theres nothing that like, got lost in translation twice.
Also its 2am now so the translation might not be the most perfect, but you'll definitely get the gist of what they were saying!!
The whole thing is under the 'keep reading' :)
First of all – congratulations on the San Remo and Eurovision wins! I just want you to know how happy you made my mom – she listens to your music for 3 years now. How are you feeling today?
D: We feel good, tho we’re tired as well. We travel a lot, but we’re happy. We meet new fans, new opportunities are coming up. It’s really nice.
How did you guys meet? When looking at you, you have this sense of unity and just good vibes. How did it all start?
D: We know each other for a long time.
V: Yeah, Since middle school. Me, Thomas and Damiano were playing in different bands, but they weren’t the best. Thet all disbanded. Then we posted in a facebook group ’looking for a musician in rome’ and found Ethan. Since then we started doing music for real. We devoted ourselves to the music, and… the rest just came naturally.
E: Yes. We knew it’s gonna be our life since day one.
What did you say In the post, when looking for the fourth member of the band?
V: I wrote ”looking for a drummer for an indie rock/new wave band”.
E: That’s true, there was new wave in it too.
I’m sure a lot of people replied.
V: No, actually only Ethan replied. But we found that post lately and now it’s full of comments like „why didn’t i reply back then!”
T: Ethan was really lucky.
What did your parents thought about your choice (to pursue music)? A rockstar lifestyle isn’t exactly what every parent wants for their child.
D: No, our parents are really content with it. They know what we do makes us happy, and of course we visit them whenever we can. And they are proud of us as well, because they see we’re happy and independent, travelling all over the Europe, and hopefully all over the world. I think every parent wants their kid to be satisfied and happy.
And friends? Are you still friends with the same people, or did the friendships fell apart?
D: We still have the same friends. And we’re sure that way that they are our real friends.
Do they understand your current lifestyle, that you can dissapear for a year?
V: Yeah, they all understand that this is our job, that our life is a bit irregular, but, like everything, it has its ups and downs.
E: Exactly, they understand, but they also miss us. Sometimes my mom calls and says ”I miss you, you’ve been gone for so long”. It’s normal. But what’s important is that we feel the support from our families and friends. They understand that you need to sacrifice a lot, to achieve a lot.
Can you still easily go ands grab a beer in the Rome neighbourhoods (districts?) of Pigneto or Trastevere? Or is it impossible now?
V: The only truly safe place for us is Trastevere, because we always lived there. Everyone there knows us and they don’t care we’re famous.
D: But I have to admit that since they whole Eurovision thing we still didn’t come back, so it’s hard to say for sure.
T: But let’s say that its a safe space.
Don’t you worry that now that whole world knows you, you’ll be followed by tourists?
V: Oh my god, you’re right, we didn’t think about it!
D: When we came back to Rome for one day I got excited when one tourist stopped me. ”Cool, I got stopped by a tourist” – now it’s normal.
T: It gives us joy.
V: It’s beautiful.
E: Wonderful.
V: We’re not complaining.
D: Long live the tourists!! (that one was kinda weird to translate)
You started by playing on Via Del Corso, now you’re international stars. I’m wondering, do you still feel the same when playing together as before? Do you have fun making music together? Or do you miss the simpler times and would love to go back to Via del Corso and play something spontaneously?
V: No, we’re still spontaneus. It’s really important for us, and we make sure people who work with us understand that. We’re really adamant about it. Music needs to remain beautiful, spontaneus and natural thing for us. We never worked with someone who would write lyrics for us. No one ever told us what we can and cannot do. We still feel the exact same feelings in studio and on stage that we felt when we were just getting started. It’s the purest thing for us. We want to have fun and feel free to express ourselves.
T: Exactly, especially that music is our driving force. Without music, we wouldn't have all the beautiful things we do. We focus only on music, and the rest comes to us.
Let’s imagine a situation where you just started ma king a song, and everyone has a different idea for it. How do you work that out? And who’s idea wins most of the time?
V: There are two options in this situation: we try every idea, and if none works, we throw the song away.
E: It doesn’t work. (that one is kinda untranslateable?)
V: Or we really work on it and fight till the end.
D: Exactly. Sometimes, but that pretty rare, one of us has a particular idea on how to do the song, and manages to convince us (to the idea). but it’s not an order, it’s a dialogue. An attempt to make everyone think the same way. I need to say that it was much harder in the past, because we were still searching for our sound, and each tried to push the rest into their way of thinking. But now we’re more aware of what we want to create, so it’s coming out in much more natural way.
E: Faster.
D: Not really faster, because it takes a lot of time to create new songs, but it’s easier, we don’t argue that much anymore.
T: It’s really cool, because everyone gives something from themselves to the song. (my brain kinda blanked here, sorry xD) Just like Damiano said, there are days when Vic has one idea for a song, I have another idea, Damiano has his own idea, Ethan as well… But it’s a whole creative process where we all contribute, and it’s pretty stimulating.
D: Everyone feels appreciated. It’s really important when it’s four of us.
What are the biggest signs that you became huge international stars?
V: We really realize that when we’re having concerts. Where we can see our audience and we can see that people really care about us. That they took time and money to listen to us. Now that we’re travelling across Europe, the amount of people stopping us on the streets really shows how many people know about us. People are waiting for us in front of our hotels. We didn’t think it would be like that. But we feel nothing but affection and warmth from them.
How was Eurovision for you from the backstage? Anything atypical?
D: No, it was all great. We played ping-pong.
V: Did rehearsals.
E: Interviews.
D: Yes, interviews. And ping-pong.
When you we’re in Paris, did anyone mention the drug allegations that came from French people during the finale, that kinda became a diplomatic incident?
D: Yeah, you could say that it was mentioned.
They don’t resent you? Or maybe you resent France?
D: No. To feel that about the whole country would be too much of a generalization. Of course there were people who were really vocal about it, but we don’t feel any sort of resentment. It’s in the past for us. We knew they were just primitive accusations. We did what it deserved – talked a bit about it, I volunteered to do the test, and they (the accusators) were sure it had to be false. It got ridiculous, so we just stopped talking about it. We want to talk about out music, our art. The rest is just meaningless.
Right now, LGBTQ rights are a hot topic both in Italy and in Poland. You mentioned freedom of being different and being yourself on several occasions. Do you think you can change the world on this matter as musicians?
D: Maybe not change the world, but we can definitely contribute. Speak the voice of those who can’t. We have a huge following on social media, on stage, on TV, so we feel responsibility to talk about what’s important to us. We hope that something will change because of us, but we don’t consider ourselves as the ones to set the standards of justice and change. We do what we can do, and if we know enough about it, we talk about it. We don’t want to put someone elses words into ours mouths.
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sgt-paul · 4 years ago
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MUSICIANS ON MUSICIANS: Paul McCartney & Taylor Swift
© Mary McCartney
❝ During the shoot, Paul dances and takes almost none of it too seriously and sings along to Motown songs playing from the speakers. A few times Mary scolds, ‘Daaad, try to stand still!’ And it feels like a window into a pretty awesome family dynamic. ❞
interview below the cut:
Taylor Swift arrived early to Paul McCartney’s London office in October, “mask on, brimming with excitement.” “I mostly work from home these days,” she writes about that day, “and today feels like a rare school field trip that you actually want to go on.”
Swift showed up without a team, doing her own hair and makeup. In addition to being two of the most famous pop songwriters in the world, Swift and McCartney have spent the past year on similar journeys. McCartney, isolated at home in the U.K., recorded McCartney III. Like his first solo album, in 1970, he played nearly all of the instruments himself, resulting in some of his most wildly ambitious songs in a long time. Swift also took some new chances, writing over email with the National’s Aaron Dessner and recording the raw Folklore, which abandons arena pop entirely in favor of rich character songs. It’s the bestselling album of 2020.
Swift listened to McCartney III as she prepared for today’s conversation; McCartney delved into Folkore. Before the photo shoot, Swift caught up with his daughters Mary (who would be photographing them) and Stella (who designed Swift’s clothes; the two are close friends). “I’ve met Paul a few times, mostly onstage at parties, but we’ll get to that later,” Swift writes. “Soon he walks in with his wife, Nancy. They’re a sunny and playful pair, and I immediately feel like this will be a good day. During the shoot, Paul dances and takes almost none of it too seriously and sings along to Motown songs playing from the speakers. A few times Mary scolds, ‘Daaad, try to stand still!’ And it feels like a window into a pretty awesome family dynamic. We walk into his office for a chat, and after I make a nervous request, Paul is kind enough to handwrite my favorite lyric of his and sign it. He makes a joke about me selling it, and I laugh because it’s something I know I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. That’s around the time when we start talking about music.”
Taylor Swift: I think it’s important to note that if this year had gone the way that we thought it was going to go, you and I would have played Glastonbury this year, and instead, you and I both made albums in isolation.
Paul McCartney: Yeah!
Swift: And I remember thinking it would have been so much fun because the times that I’ve run into you, I correlate with being some of the most fun nights of my life. I was at a party with you, when everybody just started playing music. And it was Dave Grohl playing, and you…
McCartney: You were playing one of his songs, weren’t you?
Swift: Yes, I was playing his song called “Best of You,” but I was playing it on piano, and he didn’t recognize it until about halfway through. I just remember thinking, “Are you the catalyst for the most fun times ever?” Is it your willingness to get up and play music that makes everyone feel like this is a thing that can happen tonight?
McCartney: I mean, I think it’s a bit of everything, isn’t it? I’ll tell you who was very … Reese Witherspoon was like, “Are you going to sing?” I said “Oh, I don’t know.” She said, “You’ve got to, yeah!” She’s bossing me around. So I said, “Whoa,” so it’s a bit of that.
Swift: I love that person, because the party does not turn musical without that person.
McCartney: Yeah, that’s true.
Swift: If nobody says, “Can you guys play music?” we’re not going to invite ourselves up onstage at whatever living-room party it is.
McCartney: I seem to remember Woody Harrelson got on the piano, and he starts playing “Let It Be,” and I’m thinking, “I can do that better.” So I said, “Come on, move over, Woody.” So we’re both playing it. It was really nice.… I love people like Dan Aykroyd, who’s just full of energy and he loves his music so much, but he’s not necessarily a musician, but he just wanders around the room, just saying, “You got to get up, got to get up, do some stuff.”
Swift: I listened to your new record. And I loved a lot of things about it, but it really did feel like kind of a flex to write, produce, and play every instrument on every track. To me, that’s like flexing a muscle and saying, “I can do all this on my own if I have to.”
McCartney: Well, I don’t think like that, I must admit. I just picked up some of these instruments over the years. We had a piano at home that my dad played, so I picked around on that. I wrote the melody to “When I’m 64” when I was, you know, a teenager.
Swift: Wow.
McCartney: When the Beatles went to Hamburg, there were always drum kits knocking around, so when there was a quiet moment, I’d say, “Do you mind if I have a knock around?” So I was able to practice, you know, without practicing. That’s why I play right-handed. Guitar was just the first instrument I got. Guitar turned to bass; it also turned into ukulele, mandolin. Suddenly, it’s like, “Wow,” but it’s really only two or three instruments.
Swift: Well, I think that’s downplaying it a little bit. In my mind, it came with a visual of you being in the country, kind of absorbing the sort of do-it-yourself [quality] that has had to come with the quarantine and this pandemic. I found that I’ve adapted a do-it-yourself mentality to a lot of things in my career that I used to outsource.  I’m just wondering what a day of recording in the pandemic looked like for you.
McCartney: Well, I’m very lucky because I have a studio that’s, like, 20 minutes away from where I live. We were in lockdown on a farm, a sheep farm with my daughter Mary and her four kids and her husband. So I had four of my grandkids, I had Mary, who’s a great cook, so I would just drive myself to the studio. And there were two other guys that could come in and we’d be very careful and distanced and everything: my engineer Steve, and then my equipment guy Keith. So the three of us made the record, and I just started off. I had to do a little bit of film music — I had to do an instrumental for a film thing — so I did that. And I just kept going, and that turned into the opening track on the album. I would just come in, say, “Oh, yeah, what are we gonna do?” [Then] have some sort of idea, and start doing it. Normally, I’d start with the instrument I wrote it on, either piano or guitar, and then probably add some drums and then a bit of bass till it started to sound like a record, and then just gradually layer it all up. It was fun.
Swift: That’s so cool.
McCartney: What about yours? You’re playing guitar and piano on yours.
Swift: Yeah, on some of it, but a lot of it was made with Aaron Dessner, who’s in a band called the National that I really love. And I had met him at a concert a year before, and I had a conversation with him, asking him how he writes. It’s my favorite thing to ask people who I’m a fan of. And he had an interesting answer. He said, “All the band members live in different parts of the world. So I make tracks. And I send them to our lead singer, Matt, and he writes the top line.” I just remember thinking, “That is really efficient.” And I kind of stored it in my brain as a future idea for a project. You know, how you have these ideas… “Maybe one day I’ll do this.” I always had in my head: “Maybe one day I’ll work with Aaron Dessner.”
So when lockdown happened, I was in L.A., and we kind of got stuck there. It’s not a terrible place to be stuck. We were there for four months maybe, and during that time, I sent an email to Aaron Dessner and I said, “Do you think you would want to work during this time? Because my brain is all scrambled, and I need to make something, even if we’re just kind of making songs that we don’t know what will happen…”
McCartney: Yeah, that was the thing. You could do stuff — you didn’t really worry it was going to turn into anything.
Swift: Yeah, and it turned out he had been writing instrumental tracks to keep from absolutely going crazy during the pandemic as well, so he sends me this file of probably 30 instrumentals, and the first one I opened ended up being a song called “Cardigan,” and it really happened rapid-fire like that. He’d send me a track; he’d make new tracks, add to the folder; I would write the entire top line for a song, and he wouldn’t know what the song would be about, what it was going to be called, where I was going to put the chorus. I had originally thought, “Maybe I’ll make an album in the next year, and put it out in January or something,” but it ended up being done and we put it out in July. And I just thought there are no rules anymore, because I used to put all these parameters on myself, like, “How will this song sound in a stadium? How will this song sound on radio?” If you take away all the parameters, what do you make? And I guess the answer is Folklore.
McCartney: And it’s more music for yourself than music that’s got to go do a job. My thing was similar to that: After having done this little bit of film music, I had a lot of stuff that I had been working on, but I’d said, “I’m just going home now,” and it’d be left half-finished. So I just started saying, “Well, what about that? I never finished that.” So we’d pull it out, and we said, “Oh, well, this could be good.” And because it didn’t have to amount to anything, I would say, “Ah, I really want to do tape loops. I don’t care if they fit on this song, I just want to do some.” So I go and make some tape loops, and put them in the song, just really trying to do stuff that I fancy.
I had no idea it would end up as an album; I may have been a bit less indulgent, but if a track was eight minutes long, to tell you the truth, what I thought was, “I’ll be taking it home tonight, Mary will be cooking, the grandkids will all be there running around, and someone, maybe Simon, Mary’s husband, is going to say, ‘What did you do today?’ And I’m going to go, ‘Oh,’ and then get my phone and play it for them.” So this became the ritual.
Swift: That’s the coziest thing I’ve ever heard.
McCartney: Well, it’s like eight minutes long, and I said, “I hate it when I’m playing someone something and it finishes after three minutes.” I kind of like that it just [continues] on.
Swift: You want to stay in the zone.
McCartney: It just keeps going on. I would just come home, “Well, what did you do today?” “Oh, well, I did this. I’m halfway through this,” or, “We finished this.”
Swift: I was wondering about the numerology element to McCartney III. McCartney I, II, and III have all come out on years with zeroes.
McCartney: Ends of decades.
Swift: Was that important?
McCartney: Yeah, well, this was being done in 2020, and I didn’t really think about it. I think everyone expected great things of 2020. “It’s gonna be great! Look at that number! 2020! Auspicious!” Then suddenly Covid hit, and it was like, “That’s gonna be auspicious all right, but maybe for the wrong reasons.” Someone said to me, “Well, you put out McCartney right after the Beatles broke up, and that was 1970, and then you did McCartney II in 1980.” And I said, “Oh, I’m going to release this in 2020 just for whatever you call it, the numerology.…”
Swift: The numerology, the kind of look, the symbolism. I love numbers. Numbers kind of rule my whole world. The numbers 13  … 89 is a big one. I have a few others that I find…
McCartney: Thirteen is lucky for some.
Swift: Yeah, it’s lucky for me. It’s my birthday. It’s all these weird coincidences of good things that have happened. Now, when I see it places, I look at it as a sign that things are going the way they’re supposed to. They may not be good now, they could be painful now, but things are on a track. I don’t know, I love the numerology.
McCartney: It’s spooky, Taylor. It’s very spooky. Now wait a minute: Where’d you get 89?
Swift: That’s when I was born, in 1989, and so I see it in different places and I just think it’s…
McCartney: No, it’s good. I like that, where certain things you attach yourself to, and you get a good feeling off them. I think that’s great.
Swift: Yeah, one of my favorite artists, Bon Iver, he has this thing with the number 22. But I was also wondering: You have always kind of seeked out a band or a communal atmosphere with like, you know, the Beatles and Wings, and then Egypt Station. I thought it was interesting when I realized you had made a record with no one else. I just wondered, did that feel natural?
McCartney: It’s one of the things I’ve done. Like with McCartney, because the Beatles had broken up, there was no alternative but to get a drum kit at home, get a guitar, get an amp, get a bass, and just make something for myself. So on that album, which I didn’t really expect to do very well, I don’t think it did. But people sort of say, “I like that. It was a very casual album.” It didn’t really have to mean anything. So I’ve done that, the play-everything-myself thing. And then I discovered synths and stuff, and sequencers, so I had a few of those at home. I just thought I’m going to play around with this and record it, so that became McCartney II. But it’s a thing I do. Certain people can do it. Stevie Wonder can do it. Stevie Winwood, I believe, has done it. So there are certain people quite like that.
When you’re working with someone else, you have to worry about their variances. Whereas your own variance, you kind of know it. It’s just something I’ve grown to like. Once you can do it, it becomes a little bit addictive. I actually made some records under the name the Fireman.
Swift: Love a pseudonym.
McCartney: Yeah, for the fun! But, you know, let’s face it, you crave fame and attention when you’re young. And I just remembered the other day, I was the guy in the Beatles that would write to journalists and say [speaks in a formal voice]: “We are a semiprofessional rock combo, and I’d think you’d like [us].… We’ve written over 100 songs (which was a lie), my friend John and I. If you mention us in your newspaper…” You know, I was always, like, craving the attention.
Swift: The hustle! That’s so great, though.
McCartney: Well, yeah, you need that.
Swift: Yeah, I think, when a pseudonym comes in is when you still have a love for making the work and you don’t want the work to become overshadowed by this thing that’s been built around you, based on what people know about you. And that’s when it’s really fun to create fake names and write under them.
McCartney: Do you ever do that?
Swift: Oh, yeah.
McCartney: Oh, yeah? Oh, well, we didn’t know that! Is that a widely known fact?
Swift: I think it is now, but it wasn’t. I wrote under the name Nils Sjöberg because those are two of the most popular names of Swedish males. I wrote this song called “This Is What You Came For” that Rihanna ended up singing. And nobody knew for a while. I remembered always hearing that when Prince wrote “Manic Monday,” they didn’t reveal it for a couple of months.
McCartney: Yeah, it also proves you can do something without the fame tag. I did something for Peter and Gordon; my girlfriend’s brother and his mate were in a band called Peter and Gordon. And I used to write under the name Bernard Webb.
Swift: [Laughs.] That’s a good one! I love it.
McCartney: As Americans call it, Ber-nard Webb. I did the Fireman thing. I worked with a producer, a guy called Youth, who’s this real cool dude. We got along great. He did a mix for me early on, and we got friendly. I would just go into the studio, and he would say, “Hey, what about this groove?” and he’d just made me have a little groove going. He’d say, “You ought to put some bass on it. Put some drums on it.” I’d just spend the whole day putting stuff on it. And we’d make these tracks, and nobody knew who Fireman was for a while. We must have sold all of 15 copies.
Swift: Thrilling, absolutely thrilling.
McCartney: And we didn’t mind, you know?
Swift: I think it’s so cool that you do projects that are just for you. Because I went with my family to see you in concert in 2010 or 2011, and the thing I took away from the show most was that it was the most selfless set list I had ever seen. It was completely geared toward what it would thrill us to hear. It had new stuff, but it had every hit we wanted to hear, every song we’d ever cried to, every song people had gotten married to, or been brokenhearted to. And I just remembered thinking, “I’ve got to remember that,” that you do that set list for your fans.
McCartney: You do that, do you?
Swift: I do now. I think that learning that lesson from you taught me at a really important stage in my career that if people want to hear “Love Story” and “Shake It Off,” and I’ve played them 300 million times, play them the 300-millionth-and-first time. I think there are times to be selfish in your career, and times to be selfless, and sometimes they line up.
McCartney: I always remembered going to concerts as a kid, completely before the Beatles, and I really hoped they would play the ones I loved. And if they didn’t, it was kind of disappointing. I had no money, and the family wasn’t wealthy. So this would be a big deal for me, to save up for months to afford the concert ticket.
Swift: Yeah, it feels like a bond. It feels like that person on the stage has given something, and it makes you as a crowd want to give even more back, in terms of applause, in terms of dedication. And I just remembered feeling that bond in the crowd, and thinking, “He’s up there playing these Beatles songs, my dad is crying, my mom is trying to figure out how to work her phone because her hands are shaking so much.” Because seeing the excitement course through not only me, but my family and the entire crowd in Nashville, it just was really special. I love learning lessons and not having to learn them the hard way. Like learning nice lessons I really value.
McCartney: Well, that’s great, and I’m glad that set you on that path. I understand people who don’t want to do that, and if you do, they’ll say, “Oh, it’s a jukebox show.” I hear what they’re saying. But I think it’s a bit of a cheat, because the people who come to our shows have spent a lot of money. We can afford to go to a couple of shows and it doesn’t make much difference. But a lot of ordinary working folks … it’s a big event in their life, and so I try and deliver. I also, like you say, try and put in a few weirdos.
Swift: That’s the best. I want to hear current things, too, to update me on where the artist is. I was wondering about lyrics, and where you were lyrically when you were making this record. Because when I was making Folklore, I went lyrically in a total direction of escapism and romanticism. And I wrote songs imagining I was, like, a pioneer woman in a forbidden love affair [laughs]. I was completely …
McCartney: Was this “I want to give you a child”? Is that one of the lines?
Swift: Oh, that’s a song called “Peace.”
McCartney: “Peace,” I like that one.
Swift: “Peace” is actually more rooted in my personal life. I know you have done a really excellent job of this in your personal life: carving out a human life within a public life, and how scary that can be when you do fall in love and you meet someone, especially if you’ve met someone who has a very grounded, normal way of living. I, oftentimes, in my anxieties, can control how I am as a person and how normal I act and rationalize things, but I cannot control if there are 20 photographers outside in the bushes and what they do and if they follow our car and if they interrupt our lives. I can’t control if there’s going to be a fake weird headline about us in the news tomorrow.
McCartney: So how does that go? Does your partner sympathize with that and understand?
Swift: Oh, absolutely.
McCartney: They have to, don’t they?
Swift: But I think that in knowing him and being in the relationship I am in now, I have definitely made decisions that have made my life feel more like a real life and less like just a storyline to be commented on in tabloids. Whether that’s deciding where to live, who to hang out with, when to not take a picture — the idea of privacy feels so strange to try to explain, but it’s really just trying to find bits of normalcy. That’s what that song “Peace” is talking about. Like, would it be enough if I could never fully achieve the normalcy that we both crave? Stella always tells me that she had as normal a childhood as she could ever hope for under the circumstances.
McCartney: Yeah, it was very important to us to try and keep their feet on the ground amongst the craziness.
Swift: She went to a regular school .…
McCartney: Yeah, she did.
Swift: And you would go trick-or-treating with them, wearing masks.
McCartney: All of them did, yeah. It was important, but it worked pretty well, because when they kind of reached adulthood, they would meet other kids who might have gone to private schools, who were a little less grounded.
And they could be the budding mothers to [kids]. I remember Mary had a friend, Orlando. Not Bloom. She used to really counsel him. And it’s ’cause she’d gone through that. Obviously, they got made fun of, my kids. They’d come in the classroom and somebody would sing, “Na na na na,” you know, one of the songs. And they’d have to handle that. They’d have to front it out.
Swift: Did that give you a lot of anxiety when you had kids, when you felt like all this pressure that’s been put on me is spilling over onto them, that they didn’t sign up for it? Was that hard for you?
McCartney: Yeah, a little bit, but it wasn’t like it is now. You know, we were just living a kind of semi-hippie life, where we withdrew from a lot of stuff. The kids would be doing all the ordinary things, and their school friends would be coming up to the house and having parties, and it was just great. I remember one lovely evening when it was Stella’s birthday, and she brought a bunch of school kids up. And, you know, they’d all ignore me. It happens very quickly. At first they’re like, “Oh, yeah, he’s like a famous guy,” and then it’s like [yawns]. I like that. I go in the other room and suddenly I hear this music going on. And one of the kids, his name was Luke, and he’s doing break dancing.
Swift: Ohhh!
McCartney: He was a really good break dancer, so all the kids are hanging out. That allowed them to be kind of normal with those kids. The other thing is, I don’t live fancy. I really don’t. Sometimes it’s a little bit of an embarrassment, if I’ve got someone coming to visit me, or who I know…
Swift: Cares about that stuff?
McCartney: Who’s got a nice big house, you know. Quincy Jones came to see me and I’m, like, making him a veggie burger or something. I’m doing some cooking. This was after I’d lost Linda, in between there. But the point I’m making is that I’m very consciously thinking, “Oh, God, Quincy’s got to be thinking, ‘What is this guy on? He hasn’t got big things going on. It’s not a fancy house at all. And we’re eating in the kitchen! He’s not even got the dining room going,’” you know?
Swift: I think that sounds like a perfect day.
McCartney: But that’s me. I’m awkward like that. That’s my kind of thing. Maybe I should have, like, a big stately home. Maybe I should get a staff. But I think I couldn’t do that. I’d be so embarrassed. I’d want to walk around dressed as I want to walk around, or naked, if I wanted to.
Swift: That can’t happen in Downton Abbey.
McCartney: [Laughs.] Exactly.
Swift: I remember what I wanted to know about, which is lyrics. Like, when you’re in this kind of strange, unparalleled time, and you’re making this record, are lyrics first? Or is it when you get a little melodic idea?
McCartney: It was a bit of both. As it kind of always is with me. There’s no fixed way. People used to ask me and John, “Well, who does the words, who does the music?” I used to say, “We both do both.” We used to say we don’t have a formula, and we don’t want one. Because the minute we get a formula, we should rip it up. I will sometimes, as I did with a couple of songs on this album, sit down at the piano and just start noodling around, and I’ll get a little idea and start to fill that out. So the lyrics — for me, it’s following a trail. I’ll start [sings “Find My Way,” a song from “McCartney III”]: “I can find my way. I know my left from right, da da da.” And I’ll just sort of fill it in. Like, we know this song, and I’m trying to remember the lyrics. Sometimes I’ll just be inspired by something. I had a little book which was all about the constellations and the stars and the orbits of Venus and.…
Swift: Oh, I know that song — “The Kiss of Venus”?
McCartney: Yeah, “The Kiss of Venus.” And I just thought, “That’s a nice phrase.” So I was actually just taking phrases out of the book, harmonic sounds. And the book is talking about the maths of the universe, and how when things orbit around each other, and if you trace all the patterns, it becomes like a lotus flower.
Swift: Wow.
McCartney: It’s very magical.
Swift: That is magical. I definitely relate to needing to find magical things in this very not-magical time, needing to read more books and learn to sew, and watch movies that take place hundreds of years ago. In a time where, if you look at the news, you just want to have a panic attack — I really relate to the idea that you are thinking about stars and constellations.
McCartney: Did you do that on Folklore?
Swift: Yes. I was reading so much more than I ever did, and watching so many more films.
McCartney: What stuff were you reading?
Swift: I was reading, you know, books like Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier, which I highly recommend, and books that dealt with times past, a world that doesn’t exist anymore. I was also using words I always wanted to use — kind of bigger, flowerier, prettier words, like “epiphany,” in songs. I always thought, “Well, that’ll never track on pop radio,” but when I was making this record, I thought, “What tracks? Nothing makes sense anymore. If there’s chaos everywhere, why don’t I just use the damn word I want to use in the song?”
McCartney: Exactly. So you’d see the word in a book and think, “I love that word”?
Swift: Yeah, I have favorite words, like “elegies” and “epiphany” and “divorcée,” and just words that I think sound beautiful, and I have lists and lists of them.
McCartney: How about “marzipan”?
Swift: Love “marzipan.”
McCartney: The other day, I was remembering when we wrote “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”: “kaleidoscope.”
Swift: “Kaleidoscope” is one of mine! I have a song on 1989, a song called “Welcome to New York,” that I put the word “kaleidoscope” in just because I’m obsessed with the word.
McCartney: I think a love of words is a great thing, particularly if you’re going to try to write a lyric, and for me, it’s like, “What is this going to say to that person?” I often feel like I’m writing to someone who is not doing so well. So I’m trying to write songs that might help. Not in a goody-goody, crusading kind of way, but just thinking there have been so many times in my life when I’ve heard a song and felt so much better. I think that’s the angle I want, that inspirational thing.
I remember once, a friend of mine from Liverpool, we were teenagers and we were going to a fairground. He was a schoolmate, and we had these jackets that had a little fleck in the material, which was the cool thing at the time.
Swift: We should have done matching jackets for this photo shoot.
McCartney: Find me a fleck, I’m in. But we went to the fair, and I just remember — this is what happens with songs — there was this girl at the fair. This is just a little Liverpool fair — it was in a place called Sefton Park — and there was this girl, who was so beautiful. She wasn’t a star. She was so beautiful. Everyone was following her, and it’s like, “Wow.” It’s like a magical scene, you know? But all this gave me a headache, so I ended up going back to his house — I didn’t normally get headaches. And we thought, “What can we do?” So we put on the Elvis song “All Shook Up.” By the end of that song, my headache had gone. I thought, you know, “That’s powerful.”
Swift: That really is powerful.
McCartney: I love that, when people stop me in the street and say, “Oh, I was going through an illness and I listened to a lot of your stuff, and I’m better now and it got me through,” or kids will say, “It got me through exams.” You know, they’re studying, they’re going crazy, but they put your music on. I’m sure it happens with a lot of your fans. It inspires them, you know?
Swift: Yeah, I definitely think about that as a goal. There’s so much stress everywhere you turn that I kind of wanted to make an album that felt sort of like a hug, or like your favorite sweater that makes you feel like you want to put it on.
McCartney: What, a “cardigan”?
Swift: Like a good cardigan, a good, worn-in cardigan. Or something that makes you reminisce on your childhood. I think sadness can be cozy. It can obviously be traumatic and stressful, too, but I kind of was trying to lean into sadness that feels like somehow enveloping in not such a scary way — like nostalgia and whimsy incorporated into a feeling like you’re not all right. Because I don’t think anybody was really feeling like they were in their prime this year. Isolation can mean escaping into your imagination in a way that’s kind of nice.
McCartney: I think a lot of people have found that. I would say to people, “I feel a bit guilty about saying I’m actually enjoying this quarantine thing,” and people go, “Yeah, I know, don’t say it to anyone.” A lot of people are really suffering.
Swift: Because there’s a lot in life that’s arbitrary. Completely and totally arbitrary. And [the quarantine] is really shining a light on that, and also a lot of things we have that we outsource that you can actually do yourself.
McCartney: I love that. This is why I said I live simply. That’s, like, at the core of it. With so many things, something goes wrong and you go, “Oh, I’ll get somebody to fix that.” And then it’s like, “No, let me have a look at it.…”
Swift: Get a hammer and a nail.
McCartney: “Maybe I can put that picture up.” It’s not rocket science. The period after the Beatles, when we went to live in Scotland on a really — talk about dumpy — little farm. I mean, I see pictures of it now and I’m not ashamed, but I’m almost ashamed. Because it’s like, “God, nobody’s cleaned up around here.”
But it was really a relief. Because when I was with the Beatles, we’d formed Apple Records, and if I wanted a Christmas tree, someone would just buy it. And I thought, after a while, “No, you know what? I really would like to go and buy our Christmas tree. Because that’s what everyone does.” So you go down — “I’ll have that one” — and you carried it back. I mean, it’s little, but it’s huge at the same time.
I needed a table in Scotland and I was looking through a catalog and I thought, “I could make one. I did woodwork in school, so I know what a dovetail joint is.” So I just figured it out. I’m just sitting in the kitchen, and I’m whittling away at this wood and I made this little joint. There was no nail technology — it was glue. And I was scared to put it together. I said, “It’s not going to fit,” but one day, I got my woodwork glue and thought, “There’s no going back.” But it turned out to be a real nice little table I was very proud of. It was that sense of achievement.
The weird thing was, Stella went up to Scotland recently and I said, “Isn’t it there?” and she said, “No.” Anyway, I searched for it. Nobody remembered it. Somebody said, “Well, there’s a pile of wood in the corner of one of the barns, maybe that’s it. Maybe they used it for firewood.” I said, “No, it’s not firewood.” Anyway, we found it, and do you know how joyous that was for me? I was like, “You found my table?!” Somebody might say that’s a bit boring.
Swift: No, it’s cool!
McCartney: But it was a real sort of great thing for me to be able to do stuff for yourself. You were talking about sewing. I mean normally, in your position, you’ve got any amount of tailors.
Swift: Well, there’s been a bit of a baby boom recently; several of my friends have gotten pregnant.
McCartney: Oh, yeah, you’re at the age.
Swift: And I was just thinking, “I really want to spend time with my hands, making something for their children.” So I made this really cool flying-squirrel stuffed animal that I sent to one of my friends. I sent a teddy bear to another one, and I started making these little silk baby blankets with embroidery. It’s gotten pretty fancy. And I’ve been painting a lot.
McCartney: What do you paint? Watercolors?
Swift: Acrylic or oil. Whenever I do watercolor, all I paint is flowers. When I have oil, I really like to do landscapes. I always kind of return to painting a lonely little cottage on a hill.
McCartney: It’s a bit of a romantic dream. I agree with you, though, I think you’ve got to have dreams, particularly this year. You’ve got to have something to escape to. When you say “escapism,” it sounds like a dirty word, but this year, it definitely wasn’t. And in the books you’re reading, you’ve gone into that world. That’s, I think, a great thing. Then you come back out. I normally will read a lot before I go to bed. So I’ll come back out, then I’ll go to sleep, so I think it really is nice to have those dreams that can be fantasies or stuff you want to achieve.
Swift: You’re creating characters. This was the first album where I ever created characters, or wrote about the life of a real-life person. There’s a song called “The Last Great American Dynasty” that’s about this real-life heiress who lived just an absolutely chaotic, hectic…
McCartney: She’s a fantasy character?
Swift: She’s a real person. Who lived in the house that I live in.
McCartney: She’s a real person? I listened to that and I thought, “Who is this?”
Swift: Her name was Rebekah Harkness. And she lived in the house that I ended up buying in Rhode Island. That’s how I learned about her. But she was a woman who was very, very talked about, and everything she did was scandalous. I found a connection in that. But I also was thinking about how you write “Eleanor Rigby” and go into that whole story about what all these people in this town are doing and how their lives intersect, and I hadn’t really done that in a very long time with my music. It had always been so microscope personal.
McCartney: Yeah, ’cause you were writing breakup songs like they were going out of style.
Swift: I was, before my luck changed [laughs]. I still write breakup songs. I love a good breakup song. Because somewhere in the world, I always have a friend going through a breakup, and that will make me write one.
McCartney: Yeah, this goes back to this thing of me and John: When you’ve got a formula, break it. I don’t have a formula. It’s the mood I’m in. So I love the idea of writing a character. And, you know, trying to think, “What am I basing this on?” So “Eleanor Rigby” was based on old ladies I knew as a kid. For some reason or other, I got great relationships with a couple of local old ladies. I was thinking the other day, I don’t know how I met them, it wasn’t like they were family. I’d just run into them, and I’d do their shopping for them.
Swift: That’s amazing.
McCartney: It just felt good to me. I would sit and talk, and they’d have amazing stories. That’s what I liked. They would have stories from the wartime — because I was born actually in the war — and so these old ladies, they were participating in the war. This one lady I used to sort of just hang out with, she had a crystal radio that I found very magical. In the war, a lot of people made their own radios — you’d make them out of crystals [sings “The Twilight Zone” theme].
Swift: How did I not know this? That sounds like something I would have tried to learn about.
McCartney: It’s interesting, because there is a lot of parallels with the virus and lockdowns and wartime. It happened to everyone. Like, this isn’t HIV, or SARS, or Avian flu, which happened to others, generally. This has happened to everyone, all around the world. That’s the defining thing about this particular virus. And, you know, my parents … it happened to everyone in Britain, including the queen and Churchill. War happened. So they were all part of this thing, and they all had to figure out a way through it. So you figured out Folklore. I figured out McCartney III.
Swift: And a lot of people have been baking sourdough bread. Whatever gets you through!
McCartney: Some people used to make radios. And they’d take a crystal — we should look it up, but it actually is a crystal. I thought, “Oh, no, they just called it a crystal radio,” but it’s actually crystals like we know and love.
Swift: Wow.
McCartney: And somehow they get the radio waves — this crystal attracts them — they tune it in, and that’s how they used to get their news. Back to “Eleanor Rigby,” so I would think of her and think of what she’s doing and then just try to get lyrical, just try to bring poetry into it, words you love, just try to get images like “picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been,” and Father McKenzie “is darning his socks in the night.” You know, he’s a religious man, so I could’ve said, you know, “preparing his Bible,” which would have been more obvious. But “darning his socks” kind of says more about him. So you get into this lovely fantasy. And that’s the magic of songs, you know. It’s a black hole, and then you start doing this process, and then there’s this beautiful little flower that you’ve just made. So it is very like embroidery, making something.
Swift: Making a table.
McCartney: Making a table.
Swift: Wow, it would’ve been so fun to play Glastonbury for the 50th anniversary together.
McCartney: It would’ve been great, wouldn’t it? And I was going to be asking you to play with me.
Swift: Were you going to invite me? I was hoping that you would. I was going to ask you.
McCartney: I would’ve done “Shake It Off.”
Swift: Oh, my God, that would have been amazing.
McCartney: I know it, it’s in C!
Swift: One thing I just find so cool about you is that you really do seem to have the joy of it, still, just no matter what. You seem to have the purest sense of joy of playing an instrument and making music, and that’s just the best, I think.
McCartney: Well, we’re just so lucky, aren’t we?
Swift: We’re really lucky.
McCartney: I don’t know if it ever happens to you, but with me, it’s like, “Oh, my god, I’ve ended up as a musician.”
Swift: Yeah, I can’t believe it’s my job.
McCartney: I must tell you a story I told Mary the other day, which is just one of my favorite little sort of Beatles stories. We were in a terrible, big blizzard, going from London to Liverpool, which we always did. We’d be working in London and then drive back in the van, just the four of us with our roadie, who would be driving. And this was a blizzard. You couldn’t see the road. At one point, it slid off and it went down an embankment. So it was “Ahhh,” a bunch of yelling. We ended up at the bottom. It didn’t flip, luckily, but so there we are, and then it’s like, “Oh, how are we going to get back up? We’re in a van. It’s snowing, and there’s no way.” We’re all standing around in a little circle, and thinking, “What are we going to do?” And one of us said, “Well, something will happen.” And I thought that was just the greatest. I love that, that’s a philosophy.
Swift: “Something will happen.”
McCartney: And it did. We sort of went up the bank, we thumbed a lift, we got the lorry driver to take us, and Mal, our roadie, sorted the van and everything. So that was kind of our career. And I suppose that’s like how I ended up being a musician and a songwriter: “Something will happen.”
Swift: That’s the best.
McCartney: It’s so stupid it’s brilliant. It’s great if you’re ever in that sort of panic attack: “Oh, my God,” or, “Ahhh, what am I going to do?”
Swift: “Something will happen.”
McCartney: All right then, thanks for doing this, and this was, you know, a lot of fun.
Swift: You’re the best. This was so awesome. Those were some quality stories!
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lavenderbexlatte · 4 years ago
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stray kids  11.8k words female reader insert FemDom!Reader x Sub!3RACHA EXPLICIT/NSFW
🖤 warnings: unprotected sex, degradation 🖤
Series Masterlist (Parts 1-7)
connect with me! / masterlist
The three of them follow you all the way to the front door in a line like little ducklings, eager-eyed and silent as you part the crowds of students and friends on your way outside.
You only see those eager eyes when you turn around on the front porch of the random house that's throwing this party. Changbin stands just behind you, Jisung after him and Chan bringing up the rear.
They really want more, then. Their instant agreement kind of surprises you; it's one thing to flirt or make out with someone at a party, but it's another thing entirely to invite random classmates home for an orgy. But you're not crazy or stupid enough to let the chance pass you by. You're all in.
"Okay, boys," you say, "Where are we doing this?"
"Me and 'Bin live together," says Chan quickly.
You regard him coolly. "Just you two?"
"Just us," he nods.
That's promising. You live independently but you have roommates, and while you're sure you could sneak one hookup into your room, three of them might turn some heads. Your roommates are patient, but not that patient.
So you smile at them. "Okay. I trust you three aren’t gonna try any dirty tricks on me?"
"Dirty tricks?" Changbin repeats.
You shrug. "Stealing my wallet. Selling me into indentured servitude. Harvesting my organs. The usual nightmare date stuff."
"Why would we do that?" Jisung asks, looking amused but also concerned.
Is he worried that you don't trust them? That's kind of cute.
You just smile wider. "We don't know each other very well, I’m a woman and you’re three men. You guys might be dangerous."
It’s obvious that you’re teasing them. You can't help but laugh a little, saying it, since you’ve actually been alone with the three of them before, for your school project some weeks ago. Besides, the most unpredictable and potentially dangerous person here is you. That's already been proven. The three of them seem just as amused as you, though, so you've succeeded in breaking any tension that was gathering.
"Did you guys drive here?" you ask.
"No," says Jisung.
"Neither did I," you say, “I was planning on getting drunk.”
"No worries. Called a cab already," says Chan.
His cocky attitude is back as he waves his phone in your direction, the screen showing a little animated car tracing its way to your location. When did he order a ride? More importantly, at what point did he assume you were gonna wanna go back to his place? He's right, of course, and you do want to, but come on.
"Presumptuous," you tease.
He shrugs. "Well, 'Sung has roommates, and I figured you wouldn't want three near strangers at your place."
The flash of his eyes lets you know that he’s feeling quite high and mighty for having made up your mind for you. Oh, you're going to have to break this attitude ASAP.
You set about thinking of exactly how to do that as you meander toward the road to wait for the car, trusting that someone will tell you when it arrives. You stand on the sidewalk in the dim circle of light cast by a streetlamp. Chan wants more, right?
So do you. Three boys...three boys who are all partners, it seems. There's gonna be some finagling tonight, some organization needed. You ponder exactly what you want from them. The options are endless, truly. This is going to be very, very good.
When the car pulls up, Changbin comes over and slings his arm around your waist, like he's the one taking you home and not the other way around (figuratively, at least). You look at him, amused, relishing how you can almost meet his eye with the small difference between his height and yours.
"What's this?" you ask, gesturing at his arm around you.
"I'm being gentlemanly," he pouts, bottom lip pushed out exaggeratedly, "Don't kill the vibe."
He's being silly, you realize. That firm confidence from before is gone, replaced by what seems to be an eager desire for you to like him. He's in luck, then. You already like him.
You climb into the back seat of the small black sedan, scooting all the way over to the far window seat. Chan follows right behind you, settling in the middle with Jisung after him. Changbin is up front with the driver. You can tell that the boys would rather have you in the middle seat by the way that Chan and Jisung are playfully glaring at each other, but you much prefer to have your own space by the window. Nobody likes the middle seat.
The boys busy themselves with their phones on the ride, but you just watch the boys instead. You can tell that they know you're watching. Jisung meets your eye once and looks away quickly, grinning, and Changbin is just barely resisting turning all the way around to look at you head-on. You think you know what you want to do with those two, since they're pretty communicative and easy to read, so you study the real predicament.
Chan.
He's got pretty hands, you notice, as he taps away at his phone. He also has one of those dorky leather phone cases with wallet pockets. You just can't get into those; young people use them a lot, now, but you always associate them with dads and teachers and stuff. Old people. Chan's is full of cards, his student ID and a credit card and others. You peer closer at his driver's license with its tiny picture of him. His curly hair is blonde in the photo, which is cute.
You notice something else, too - his birthdate. Chan is in your year in school, but you never knew...
"Are you...are you younger than me?" you ask him, delighted.
He blinks at you. "How old are you?"
You tell him - a year or so older than him. It's not much, but definitely something in a society that puts so much emphasis on age. It also puts you at the oldest in this group by a bit of a margin, considering Changbin is a couple years younger than Chan and Jisung is younger still.
"That makes me the noona tonight," you tease.
Chan gives you an alarmed side-eye, his pale cheeks blushing furiously and his pupils blown big. He's into the noona thing, too? You wonder exactly how many little one-ups you're going to have on him tonight.
So you're the oldest. Hm. You grin to yourself. So they thought they were bagging a shy, quiet submissive, and instead they got you.
The ride to their place is short, and you're surprised when the cab pulls up in front of a small one-story house instead of an apartment building. Not many students around here have homes, since housing prices in the city are predictably sky-high and out of the average student budget. The boys get out of the car right away, thanking the driver, but you take your time. You study the house, the cars in the driveway (two of them, one silver sedan, one black mid-size SUV) and the neat front garden.
"A house," you say mildly.
Changbin looks embarrassed for the first time that night, as he stutters, "My family - I'm - we have-"
"Fucking PILES of money," Chan finishes for him, grinning, "I pay him rent, can you believe it?"
"I didn't want him to pay anything but he insisted," Changbin says.
"I'm not a freeloader," Chan insists.
"You think I'm gonna make my own boyfriend pay rent when I could buy him his own house?" Changbin grumbles, heading up the front walk.
Jisung has already let himself into the house uninterested in the conversation. He doesn't live there, you remember, but obviously he's no stranger. You follow Changbin inside, vaguely aware of Chan coming after you. It's a cute house, you admit to yourself, as you step in the door and kick off your shoes.
It does look like a house where a bunch of boys live, though. An artists' den. There's music equipment strewn all over the small living room; Bluetooth speakers, a midi board, a full-size electric keyboard, a drum pad. Propped on a small table in the corner is a silver slab that you realize is a YouTube subscriber award plaque, and there’s a Soundcloud affiliate certificate next to it.
"The rumors about you guys are true, then," you say, mostly to yourself, not even thinking.
Changbin looks at you, confused. So does Jisung. Chan just smiles lopsidedly.
"What rumors?" Jisung asks.
"Oh." You can feel your face heating up. "Just that you guys are...musicians."
You were actually thinking about their minor celebrity status, their Soundcloud rapper status, but you don't know if that will come across as...like...offensive? Is it rude to call people Soundcloud rappers, since that’s kind of become an insult? They're obviously even more well-known than you thought, if the 100k subs plaque is anything to go off. Not just campus royalty, but actually somewhat famous. It’s bizarre.
"Musicians," Chan repeats, amused.
You kind of hate the expression on his face. He's still holding onto that weird confident charm from the party, the face that you assume he puts on in these situations to pretend he's not one good hair-pull away from whining and begging.
"You can't pretend that you don't know," you say, more aggressively than you mean to, "On campus, with everyone from school…you guys are super...popular."
It sounds so stupid to say, like you're the ugly duckling in a bad teen movie. 'You can’t like meeeee, you're soooo cool and popular!'
"Are we?" Jisung asks, looking genuinely surprised.
Oh my God. You want to facepalm. You want to grab one of them and shake them.
"You literally tried to seduce me in there," you point out, "Would that have worked if you weren't popular? That's something popular people do. Use their, like, social standing to get people to sleep with them."
"That would make us pretty shitty people," Chan says delicately. "Imbalance of power and all that."
Oh. You didn't mean to accuse them of anything. You open your mouth to apologize, feeling incredibly out of place, but Jisung interrupts you, completely unbothered.
"It's only worked once before, anyway," he says.
"...Picking someone up?" you ask.
Changbin nods, "And that only worked because Felix already had a crush on me and Chan. We just had to sell him on Jisung."
"Hey!" Jisung pouts.
Chan pets his hair placatingly, and Jisung shrugs him off in favor of heading for the kitchen, mumbling about being a fucking catch. But you’re focusing on a different bit of what Changbin told you.
"You guys fucked Felix Lee?" you ask, incredulous.
“Maybe a month ago, yeah,” Changbin says.
The cute, freckled face of dance team captain Felix Lee swims in your mind for a moment, followed by the memory of his chiseled abs from a performance earlier in the year. He’s a rising sophomore, but solidly half of campus has a crush on him. Damn, THOSE are their standards, and they wanna fuck YOU? You gotta start giving yourself more credit.
"So, we're popular," Chan muses.
"You had to have known that," you shake your head, "Literally everyone knows you. First years are so thirsty for you. That's why I was so-"
You cut yourself off. They don't need to know that you were flustered when they approached you, back there. They don't need the ego trip.
So you just affix your best innocent smile to you face, looking the three of them over. Chan, leaning against the back of the couch. Changbin, lining up all four pairs of shoes (theirs and yours) by the front door. And Jisung, returned from the kitchen with a bottle of water that he's chugging like a dying man.
"You didn't invite me over to talk about your social status," you say instead.
"We sure didn't," Chan agrees.
"First things first, then," you say, "Boundaries. You guys have any hard limits? Safewords? Musts and don'ts?"
"Nope," says Jisung, taking another sip of the water to punctuate it.
"No musts or no don'ts?" you ask.
"Yes," he quips.
You can't help the way your smile grows. "Alright. Anyone else?"
"No serious degrading," Changbin says, very very quietly.
“Praise motivated, huh?” you coo, “Cute.”
Changbin looks slightly embarrassed, but his eyes are sharp and engaged as he adds, “And no digs at my size.”
You grin. "Size or size?"
"Either!" he pouts.
"Sounds fair to me," you say.
You fix your eyes on the last one: Chan, still looking only mildly interested and very calm. But you can see the very tips of his ears going red, and then it spreads down his cheeks, and then down his neck as you watch him.
And finally, he says, "I'm not good with praise."
Jisung laughs, loud and ridiculous. "That's an understatement."
You smile warmly at Chan, not wanting him to back down if this is a legit thing for him, "So does that mean no praise?"
"No," he says immediately, "Just that...if you - I get all-"
"Flustered," you finish for him. "Good to know."
You pause for a second, wondering what kind of hard limits you'll need to bring up to them tonight. They don't seem like the kind of partners to push you into anything, if they way they're already tiptoeing around is any indication.
"I don't like hitting in the face," you say, after a moment. "Or blood."
Changbin gives you a look. "Is that the kind of stuff you do on your first night with someone?"
You laugh, "No, not usually. But some people have really specific fetishes, and I live to please. Gotta lay everything out before we start."
Chan nods sincerely, like he knows exactly what you're saying, and Jisung follows suit. You're satisfied that you've covered your bases now. And besides, you really want to get started. You have three beautiful men here to play with.
So you say, "Okay. Who's first?"
You're still smiling, but you let some of your pent-up excitement leak into it, wondering if any of them will take the bait. You wonder if they're starting to think that you're some kind of super strict domme. Very serious, or very demanding, or something. You've had that problem before, with people crumbling before you even get started since you're so blunt about boundaries. Some people take that to mean that you like rigid roles and rules and set scenes.
But that's not really true. After the communication is solidified and you trust your partner, you like to just...let go.
Much to your amusement, the first one to crack is Jisung.
He practically bounces up to you, his face so perfectly cute that you wonder if he practices the look in the mirror. It's equal parts funny and ironic, since he's the youngest and also, from what you've seen at school, the one who wants to be taken most seriously.
"I'm first," he informs you.
You smile. You can't help it. His expression is so open and happy, even though his eyes are a little nervous. It's just so much. You gently nudge Chan away from the couch, and pat the back of it gently, invitingly. Jisung seems to understand you immediately and hops right up, balancing himself on the frame and the tops of the cushions, his legs dangling down the back of the couch. You settle yourself between his legs, standing purposefully, spreading your hands across his back to support him gently.
He leans back a little as if to test you, and you hold him up easily. It's not so much that you're strong, but that Jisung's so lean and slim. And even if he did fall, it would just be the short drop onto the seat of the couch. His eyes go wider as he realizes what kind of game you're playing with him. It's a signal, and you figured he'd be smart enough to pick up on it.
"I've got you," you say, very softly, into his ear.
Even if you look unassuming, even if they're taller and louder and bolder than you. Even if you're a gentle dom who puts up with some antics.
You're in control.
When you pull back and look at him, you swear you can see the little cartoon stars blooming in his eyes. He definitely got the message loud and clear.
He nods, almost imperceptibly, and says, "I know."
And you kiss him. He deserves it. A proper kiss, not like the teasing you'd done to him at the party. You let him lick into your mouth, scrape your teeth gently over his soft bottom lip. He's a good boy, you decide. Certified good boy.
Jisung leans back a bit more as he pulls away from you, and he lurches, loses his balance. He doesn’t go anywhere, since you're still holding him up securely, but he looks spooked. It fascinates you, how quickly he's fallen into the game of it. There's no risk if he falls, and yet...
"Can I-" he asks, " - can I touch-"
"Yeah," you say, cutting him off.
And then he's gently holding your face with one hand, the other arm draped over your shoulder, fingers playing with your hair. His body is much more relaxed as he kisses you, and you relish in it.
Oh, he's a sweetheart, you realize. Not a pushover or anything; he's still cupping your face and smiling into the kiss, confident and comfortable. But a good boy.
"You're so pretty," you say.
Jisung honest to God whines against your lips at the praise.
"It's true," you say, amused.
"He likes that a lot," comes Chan's voice.
You jump, having nearly forgotten your audience again. The other two are standing just beside you, watching intently as you work over their boyfriend.
"Being called pretty?" you ask him, as if Jisung isn't even there.
Chan nods.
"Well, he is," you affirm, leaning in to kiss Jisung's nose, trying to get your groove back.
Honestly, it’s a struggle to keep up with the fact that you’re trying to dom three people at once. You know you’ll do fine. It’s group sex, not a goddamn triathlon. But it’s useful here that you prefer domming psychologically, rather than with lots of physical force. You don’t know exactly what these three are used to, what they’re comfortable doing. A first-time with three people at once probably isn't the best time to fly in with a strap-on and demand people obey you.
So doing this the old-fashioned way, with simple baiting, praising, awarding, withholding…that’s gonna be the way forward.
“Who’s got the best bed for a foursome?” you ask, still holding up Jisung but looking expectantly back at Chan and Changbin.
Changbin nudges Chan with his elbow, "D'you think you could handle moving your pillow fort? For sexy purposes."
"Pillow fort?" you repeat.
"I have a lot of pillows, it's fine," Chan defends. "No big deal."
"He makes a nest with them," pipes up Jisung, "Like a crib."
Chan glares at him, "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was Put Chan On Blast Night."
"Okay, whose bed is biggest?" you ask instead, deigning not to comment on the pillow thing any further.
"Changbin's," says Jisung.
"Then we can go there."
"Yes, ma'am," Changbin says easily, and he turns on his heel to head for the bedroom door on the right side of the house.
It's a small house, so he's quickly out of sight. Chan follows after him. You unwind your arms from around Jisung's little waist, and he lets himself drop dramatically backwards onto the couch cushions. You follow Chan, and Jisung chases after you.
Changbin's room is painted an off-white, the bedding rich dark blue against neutral wood furniture. It's extremely well-done for a college boy's room. You're impressed. It might even be more cohesive than your room. Now, at night, with just the soft light coming in from outside in the gap of his slightly-open blackout curtains, it looks impossibly atmospheric.
"Hold on," Changbin mutters, as you take in the space.
There's a soft click, and a set of fairy lights come on, strung around the perimeter of the room. They're an interesting color array, purple and blue and cool white. It's bright enough to see what you're doing, to see each other, but dark enough to set the tone. Yeah. They have a lot of sex in here. You're kind of excited to be part of it.
"Is there anyone-" you start, before your mind can filter the thought, and you stop.
But all three of them are just looking at you, standing there in a little line. You walk deeper into the room. You can do this. And so you swallow that last trace of lingering shame and ask them outright.
"Is there anyone who doesn't wanna fuck me?"
Jisung and Changbin break out in raucous laughter, and Chan just regards you.
"Why would we not want to?" Chan asks.
"I mean," you huff feeling petulant despite yourself, "Some people have no interest in the P in V stuff and would prefer something else, shut up!"
"You ask a lot of questions," Chan shoots back.
"I'm being considerate," you reply.
"No, I think we're all on board," interrupts Changbin, as if to head off a real argument.
You have no intention of fighting, though. You wonder what kind of people these three have hooked up with in the past. They obviously have no communication difficulties with each other, and yet they're (well...Chan is) being so difficult with you.
"Perfect," you say, "'Bin, c'mere."
Changbin shuffles nearer to you, leaving the others behind, and you look him over carefully. He's broad and strong, much bigger than Jisung. Your approach to him has to be a little different, you think. You make a quick decision: he's gonna be your ally tonight.
You lean into his ear and whisper the plan you've been making up on the fly. He listens. And when you've finished, Changbin grins conniving and bright.
"Does that sound good?" you ask him.
He nods. "I think they'll like it."
"Like what?" Jisung asks eagerly.
"Don't worry about it," you reply.
"I'm gonna worry about it," says Chan.
That dude. So neurotic. You really need to figure out what his buttons are, so you can know which ones to press and which to avoid. It's gonna take more than a little hair-pulling to figure out, you wager.
"'Bin, give me a hand?" you say, gesturing at your top.
Changbin gives you a winning smile and looks gloatingly back at Jisung, then at Chan, and then he reaches down to leisurely unbutton your shirt. You never wear button-downs, but you're glad you did tonight. They make undressing so much more...cinematic.
You shrug off the shirt when Changbin's done, the final button falling open, and you move next to strip off his t-shirt, too. He wears those things tight. He always has; you can't even count how many days in class you've spent staring at the muscular span of his shoulders. This one is the same, clinging to his form ridiculously, like he's trying out to be Captain America's body double.
When the t-shirt is gone, you're greeted with a thick, toned upper body that dips into solid, narrower hips. Not quite cut, no chocolate abs or anything, but he's got some impressive working muscle under his deep-toned skin. Beef. He's beefy.
"Wow," you say appreciatively, running your hand from his collarbone all the way down to his belt.
"What about us?" Jisung asks.
"Patience," you murmur, "Don't you want Changbinnie to feel good?"
Jisung pouts, but says, "Yes..."
"Then you can wait your turn," you say plaintively.
"Can I kiss you, noona?" Changbin asks.
You look at him, amused. "So you heard that conversation."
Changbin shakes his head. "I knew before. Chan-hyung always calls you-"
Chan squeaks, mortified, cutting him off, but you've heard plenty.
"Oh, he always calls me noona," you purr, "Before he knew how old I was?"
"Yes," Changbin says.
That's interesting, to say the least. It means that their approach to you from the start was to defer familiar respect and treat you like an elder, rather than a peer. Hm.
You get a little closer, bringing your face up to his. "Do you talk about me a lot?"
"No," Changbin breathes, "But when we do-"
"Dude!" Chan hisses.
"Don't listen to him," you soothe Changbin, giving Chan a little wink over your shoulder, "Thank you for telling me."
You kiss Changbin, since he did ask so nicely and gave you a wonderful tidbit about Chan. He's a good kisser. Needy; he's pressing you backwards with his enthusiasm. You reach to put your arms around his neck, but then you reconsider. Instead, you fold yourself against his chest, palms flat on his pecs. It gives the illusion that you're much smaller than him, even though admittedly he's not a very tall person.
The change in his body language is instantaneous. Your hunch was right - he likes feeling big. He did say not to make digs about his size. Well, you certainly won't about his height. But his size...
You move down and begin unbuckling his belt.
"How come only he gets to get naked?" Jisung complains.
You glance at him, hands busy unbuttoning and zipping down Changbin.
"I'm not stopping you," you reply, "You could undress without permission. But you'll miss out on all the fun if you just go off on your own."
Jisung blinks doe eyes at you, and Chan huffs out a laugh.
"Some dom you are, yeah?" Chan scoffs.
You shrug. "I can't make you do anything. I'm not gonna force you."
"No?" Chan says.
"That's the fun of this stuff, isn't it?" you say.
You ruffle Changbin's hair playfully, and motion for him to continue undressing himself. Willing all the grace you know you possess, you walk over to Chan, keeping your motions fluid and careless. You want him to see exactly what kind of dom you are.
"The fact that you don't have to listen to me. That's the fun," you say, "You don't have to. But you will. You wanna be good."
Chan swallows hard. "I..."
"I'm sure you like being good," you continue, cupping Chan's face in both of your hands, forcing him to meet your eyes. "You're gonna be good for me, aren't you, peach?"
"Yeah," he says, so quietly that you think you've imagined it, his cheeks burning red.
"I'm sorry," you hum, "I didn't hear that. Yes...?"
"Yes, noona," Chan says.
"Yes, what?"
"Yes, noona, I'll be good for you."
"I thought you would be," you say, satisfied. "Go sit on the bed. Against the headboard."
He looks like he wants to complain about that, but you shrug again, punctuating that you're truly not here to force anyone. Domming is about control, not force. If Chan wants to turn over control to you, he will.
And he does.
He scrambles up the bed and sits with his back against the headboard. You can feel his eyes on you, and Jisung's wide, wide eyes, as you return to Changbin.
Changbin is down to his boxer-briefs, and God, he's good-looking. Solid and masculine. You kind of just want to have your way with him and be done with it. But that's not the plan.
“Jisung,” you say.
He jumps, not expecting to be addressed. “Yeah?”
“Are you okay bottoming tonight?”
“’Course,” he affirms, “Always. For who?”
You glance at Changbin, who nods, and Jisung smiles his biggest, most genuine smile, crooked front tooth and all.
“I like this plan,” he says.
That assent is all you need to hear.
“Is there lube?” you ask Changbin.
He turns away, presumably to grab it, and you snag Jisung by the wrist and tug him toward you. Jisung's wide smile is distracting, as you have him lie down on the bed. Changbin's bed is a king, you think, a really really big mattress with plenty of room to use. But when Jisung sprawls out easily, the top of his head is close to Chan.
"You have one rule, up there," you say to Chan, "No touching."
"No touching...him?" Chan asked, pointing at Jisung.
You smile. "No touching. Him, me, 'Bin, yourself. No touching."
Chan looks wide-eyed, almost hurt at your words. You can't tell exactly how he's feeling, so you move around the bed until you're right in front of him, and take one of his hands in yours.
"Is that okay?" you ask, "Are you okay with that?"
"I'm okay," he says.
You look at Changbin, waiting by Jisung's knees at the edge of the bed, and at Jisung himself, watching you upside-down.
"Can I implement the traffic light system?" you ask them, "It's the easiest safeword system for me, I think, with so many of you."
"You mean the color thing," Changbin clarifies.
"Yeah," you nod.
"We've used that one before," says Jisung agreeably, "We don't usually use any safewords but we can do that.
You turn back to Chan. "Does that work for you?"
He smiles, and it warms up his face all the way to his eyes, so you relax.
"Yeah, that works well," he says.
"Good," you say, "So. Color?"
"Green," says Chan.
"Great."
You lean in and kiss him for his trouble, realizing with a thrill that you've really only kissed him one other time. He's damn good at it, too, eager but gentle with just enough pressure. You pull back right as he starts to really melt against you, and drop his hand back onto his lap, in favor of returning to Jisung where you've left him.
Jisung, for his part, is lounging back on his elbows, just watching you, and you nudge his knees farther apart as you settle in between them. You can feel Changbin's warmth behind you again as he hovers, not quite touching you.
"Noona," he whines.
You glance back at him, his chin at your shoulder.
"I know," you tut, "You're already doing a good job for me, gorgeous."
He beams at the praise, and repeats, "Noonaaaa."
You smile to yourself at the lilt in his voice. "You can touch, baby."
There are suddenly lips against the side of your throat, Changbin trailing kisses across your skin, and hands on your waist pulling you back gingerly, as if he's afraid you'll tell him off for being too greedy (which is a good and valid worry). You lean away, down toward Jisung, and coax him upright to peel the baggy t-shirt off him. As you get the garment over his head, you're surprised to see firm abs and pecs. Jisung is small and thin, but apparently very, very muscular. Huh.
"You've been holding out on me," you chide him.
"Don't think about it that way, noona," Jisung says, "Think of it as a nice surprise."
You huff out a laugh. He's being kind of mouthy, but it's cute, so you're gonna let it slide. Mostly.
"Are you in any position to be telling me what to do?" you tease.
Jisung shrugs, lips pursed. You tickle your fingers down the hard line of his abs, grinning when he jumps and squeaks under your touch.
"'Bin?" you ask.
"Yes?"
"Who here is overdressed?"
Changbin hums against your skin, mouthing at the soft juncture of your neck and your shoulder, and says, "Jisungie, noona. And you."
"Not Chan?" you ask lightly.
Changbin grins. You can feel the flats of his teeth against your skin.
"Not unless you say so, noona," Changbin says.
"Good call, gorgeous," you say, leaning back into his touch.
He's hard against your ass, you note. Perfect. You go for Jisung's skintight jeans next, unbuttoning and peeling the black denim down his slim thighs. He's so dainty, all thin graceful limbs, his frame small but masculine and defined. You can see his cock twitch with interest as you get the jeans all the way off, his boxers beginning to tent.
"Excited?" you ask, letting your hand trail over him, gently feeling the outline of him through the thin fabric.
"Yeah," he says, shameless.
"Who should get undressed first?" you ask Jisung,
Jisung must register something in your tone, as his big eyes look from you, to Changbin, back to you.
And then he says, "Me, noona."
"Oh," you purr, "Good boy."
You free him from his boxers, and it's not a surprise when you're met with a pretty, proportional cock, flushed and lovely. You're hit with the urge to feel the weight of him in your mouth. And fuck, this is YOUR game, isn't it? So you lean down and do just that, taking his head between your lips.
Jisung gasps, high and pretty, and you can see Chan's face above you darken. He looks...jealous?
"Peach, you okay?" you say, coming off Jisung to speak.
Chan looks at you, puppy-eyed.
"I want..." he trails plaintively.
"I know you do," you agree. “Don’t be greedy.”
He's still sitting obediently, hands balled into fists atop his thighs and not touching anything. He's the only one fully dressed, and you can tell that it's driving him crazy. He can wait. You know he can.
So you nuzzle against Jisung's stomach indulgently and ask him, "Who next?"
Jisung pauses, comprehending what you've asked, and then he says, "Changbin-hyung."
You place your hand over Changbin's where it still rests in its spot on your waist.
"You heard him, Binnie," you say, "Go 'head."
His warmth vanishes from behind you for only a few seconds before he's back, his now unencumbered cock brushing against your shorts. You grip Jisung's length again, pumping him for a moment, looking down at him with a glint in your eye.
"Here's what's going to happen," you say, standing up properly, "I'm going to prep you for Changbin, baby. And Changbin is gonna have some fun of his own while I do it."
Jisung nods his understanding at your words, his expression delighted, and Chan is all but panting as he sits pretty for you. There's a lovely flush creeping from his ears toward the neckline of his button-down shirt.
You shuck off your own shorts, left now in just your bra and panties. As you look down at yourself, you realize that while they are not a matching set, your underwear ARE about the same color, which you count as a personal victory. It's the little things.
"Hand me a pillow, peach?" you ask Chan.
He nearly topples over in his eagerness to give you a pillow from the head of the bed. You have Jisung raise his hips, and settle the pillow under him, angling him up for better access. He doesn't seem the slightest bit self-conscious, on display to you like that. You almost hate how attractive that is.
"Everyone, color?" you ask.
"Green," chirps Jisung, almost before you're done speaking.
"Green," Chan agrees.
"So green," Changbin groans from behind you, where he's still grinding against your ass.
"Wonderful," you murmur.
You turn your attention fully to the boy beneath you. Jisung is impeccably groomed, maybe even better than you, you think. There's a neat thatch of hair around the base, and he's all but hairless everywhere else. It's impressive.
You trail your hand over his balls, his perineum, to his hole, and he chokes out a moan as you just graze the thin skin there.
"Are you sure you're ready to go, Jisungie?" you ask, and he nods eagerly.
"I wanted to bottom tonight anyway," he informs you cheekily.
Chan laughs, which melts any of your lingering worries that you've overwhelming or neglecting him.
"That's true," Chan says softly. "He told us before the party."
"You guys are so much fun," you say.
The lube is laying on the comforter next to you, so you pick it up, pop the top, and coat two of your fingers in the stuff. You lean down over Jisung again, knowing how obscene you must look together, him all spread out for you and you draped over his lithe little body. You're sure both Chan, in front, and Changbin, behind, are getting an eyeful of the two of you.
"I'm gonna start," you warn Jisung.
"Finally," Jisung teases, "I was beginning to think - shit-"
He's cut off as you ease your index finger past that ring of muscle. The slide is much easier than you expected, but he still whines out in a pitch higher than you would have thought.
"You do this a lot?" you ask him, only half-teasing, slowly pumping your finger and relishing in the easy way he takes you, "You're so open."
"I do, yeah," Jisung agrees, breathless.
"And here I thought you were the bottom of the group," you say to Chan, letting a little bit of bite into your voice, wondering if they're at all into that.
Chan's flush picks back up, and he stammers, "I - mean-"
"He can be a great little hole, too," Jisung says, casually, "I wrecked him a couple days ago, didn't I, hyung?"
Still blushing furiously, Chan nods.
"Interesting," you say simply, turning your attention back to Jisung, "Hey, what happened to those pretty sounds?"
You curl your finger slightly, and Jisung lets out another gasp.
"That's more like it," you praise.
You almost wish you had a strap here, so you could do the next part yourself, too. But your actual plan is gonna be just as much fun, so you can easily be content with this.
"Noona," comes Changbin's voice.
"Yes?" you answer.
"Can I...I mean..." Changbin trails off, seeming embarrassed.
"Can you?" you prompt, amused at his sudden shyness.
"Can I make you feel good, too?" he asks.
"Oh, baby," you simper, "Of course. So good, asking for permission."
Changbin laughs breathlessly, and so does Jisung.
"Isn't he good?" you ask Jisung.
"Good," Jisung agrees, though he nearly chokes on the word.
He seems to be ready for another finger, so you draw out and press back in with two, this time. At the same time, you lean down to take his length back into your mouth. Jisung whimpers again, starting to press his hips down against your hand.
As you're bent over at the waist, pleasuring Jisung, you feel tentative fingers pulling your panties to the side. You wonder if you're going to get the warm press of a cockhead, or-
"Oh," you breathe, pulling off Jisung's cock again to collect yourself as the unmistakable trace of a tongue wanders up your core.
Changbin pulls away just as quickly as he began, and you all but groan in frustration.
"Come on, gorgeous, don't be shy," you urge.
And the tongue returns, more eager this time, as Changbin settles himself fully between your legs. You steel yourself to enjoy while also focusing on the task at hand, prepping Jisung, and keeping your wits about you. Changbin definitely doesn't seem like he's only a sub, and neither do the other two, honestly. They seem like switches, if you had to hazard a guess. It would be in poor taste to let any of them turn the tables on you, now, wouldn't it?
Your mind wanders a little as you scissor and work your two fingers, Jisung trembling and whimpering praise under you, Changbin's plush lips against your clit. How the fuck did you get here?
You're kind of floored to think that maybe an hour ago, you were at that party, bored, barely buzzed, and anonymous, or so you thought. Plain old you. And now you're here, sandwiched between two of the hot, popular guys from Physics class with the third one watching you and white-knuckling the sheets.
A surge of power sweeps through you at the thought. You're here. You have this. You deserve this. And you're gonna have a good fucking time.
"I'm ready!" Jisung is sputtering, "I'm - I'm-"
"Ready," you finish for him, bringing your focus back to the moment.
There's arousal building low in your stomach. Changbin is good with his mouth. You kind of wish you could see him while he's doing this.
"Ready for what?" you ask Jisung.
"More!" he whines, “More, Jesus, two fingers is basic!”
You pull your fingers out, which just makes him whine louder, to reapply lube. This time, you push in with three, and Jisung keens long and low.
"You know, Changbinnie," you say, making sure to keep your voice measured and casual, "You're gonna need to get wet to fit inside Jisungie's pretty hole."
Changbin pulls himself up at your words, leaving your core wet and exposed and distinctly throbbing, and he leans forward to take the lube from you. You stop him before he can take the bottle.
"That's not what I meant," you say sweetly.
There's a fraction of a second while he catches up, and then Changbin groans openly against your shoulder blade, as you continue to work your fingers steadily in and out of Jisung.
"Noona, we have condoms in Chan-hyung's room," Changbin says, "I can go-"
"No," you say, "No need."
And that's all the permission Changbin seems to need, before he's lining himself up.
"Can I?" he asks.
You coo. He hasn't missed a single beat, sweet and obedient and so ready to be good for you.
"You're so good, gorgeous," you say, "Yes, please."
He sinks into you quickly, no preamble, and you can't blame him for being eager because you're secretly just as ready for it. He's thicker than you expected, but you should have expected it, considering the rest of his body. You find yourself panting against Jisung’s hipbone, your fingers pausing inside Jisung as you enjoy the delicious stretch.
“Can I move, noona?” Changbin asks, sounding punched-out already.
“Take it slow,” you instruct him, “This is just a warmup for you, you know.”
Changbin whines under his breath but obeys you, pulling out agonizingly slowly. As you try to keep your head clear, you notice Chan shifting on the bed ahead of you, and you have an idea.
“Okay, peach,” you say, keeping your voice level, “Why don’t you come over here and have a good look?”
“A look?” Chan repeats, “At…”
You smile to yourself. “At whatever you want. Jisung is a pretty picture, I’m sure you know that.”
“And you, noona,” Changbin cuts in.
“And me?” you say, amused.
“Pretty,” says Changbin, by way of explanation, as he keeps up his slow, slow pace.
“Thanks,” you say, arching back against him, figuring he deserves a little reward.
You nod at Chan, encouraging, and he crawls off the bed and comes around behind you. You’re sure he can see everything from where he is - your fingers disappearing into Jisung’s heat, Changbin’s cock disappearing into you. The combined power of Changbin’s steady pace and Chan watching it all is a little overwhelming. You need to narrow your focus or else someone is gonna come before you intend it to happen, and that someone might just be you.
You gently pull your fingers out of Jisung’s hole, leaving him complaining behind you.
“It was just starting to get good, come on!” Jisung whines
“Patience, baby,” you say, giving Jisung a playing smack on the meat of his thigh.
You turn your head fully to look at Chan. He’s staring, transfixed, down on the place where Changbin’s cock is slowly working in and out of you. And now that your brain isn’t focusing on being careful with Jisung, the arousal is really catching up with you. You’re getting close.
Really, you reason, what’s the harm in having a little more fun for yourself?
“Jisungie,” you say, “You wanna give me a hand here?”
He looks rightfully confused, until you reach up and snap your own bra strap against your skin. Then Jisung winks at you, and reaches around to push-pull-snap open the hooks in the back in one fluid movement.
“How’d you get so good at that?” you ask him, amused. “None of your partners wear bras.”
Jisung looks offended. “Who says I don’t wear ‘em?”
“Good point.”
You shrug off the garment, now only in your panties, which aren’t doing much of anything anymore since Changbin’s fucking you around them. Jisung’s eyes are following your breasts as you readjust yourself, sitting up more and shifting your weight onto your knees. Man, your core is gonna be killing you tomorrow…
“Lock it up, baby, shit,” you tease Jisung, “How long has it been since you’ve seen tiddies?”
“That weren’t on a man? I don’t even know.”
“Hm.”
You reach down and start drawing lazy circles on your clit, and you can feel yourself clench down on Changbin at the stimulation. He gasps, and you tut at him.
“I know you can wait for me, gorgeous,” you say.
He whines, “But-”
“Changbinnie. You’re gonna let me feel good, aren’t you?” you ask him. “Don’t I deserve to cum first?”
“Yes,” he grinds out.
“Noona, can I do it?” Jisung asks suddenly.
You’re still hovering over him, all but laying on top of him, and you look down at his face. His eyes are fixed on your fingers, rubbing yourself through your underwear.
“Do what?” you ask, just to be difficult.
“Make you cum,” Jisung answers.
You take your hand off your clit and reach out to thread your fingers through Jisung’s, leading him back to the front of your panties.
“You and Binnie need to work together for this, huh?” you say, “One of you isn’t good enough? It has to be two?”
“I’m good enough,” Changbin argues.
“Shush,” you admonish, “Then prove it.”
You let your hand fall away again, as Jisung takes up the task. He slips his fingers down your waistband, circling hard and tight over your clit. Changbin, obedient to the end, is still somehow keeping up those slow, deep strokes that you demanded. And you have to admit: they’re determined to prove it.
“Jesus, noona,” Changbin whines.
“You’re not gonna cum yet,” you instruct.
“I know.”
Jisung meets Changbin’s eye over your shoulder; you can tell that’s what he’s doing from the smirk on Jisung’s face and the muttered shut up that Changbin stifles into your neck. He gets up on his knees, and you find yourself pressed between them, your forehead against Jisung’s breastbone as his fingers work under you. You glance up, intending to tell Jisung off for making his next move on his own, but the vision you see knocks that idea right out of your head.
They’re making out over you.
It’s so beautifully desperate, Changbin biting and panting into Jisung’s mouth and whining under it all as he fucks into you, Jisung with one hand fisted in Changbin’s hair and the other still dutifully circling your clit, wet and dirty. As you feel your peak coming on, you remember the last member of your party, poor Chan, still relegated to his spectator’s spot behind you all, still under orders not to touch. You look up at him, and God, you wish you had looked sooner.
Chan is standing there, hands cemented at his sides. He’s flushed from the tips of his ears all the way down his neck, to his chest, creeping under his shirt, and his eyes are hungry. But he’s being good, no matter how much he wants to move.
He’s still being good, and that’s what sends you over the edge. You drop your head back down against Jisung’s chest, and gasp and shake your way through your own orgasm. Changbin lets out a moan that borders on a shout, as you surprise him with your clenching walls, and he slows down even more, just grinding into you. There’s something so bone-deep satisfying about it, all three of the boys with their eyes on you and unable to do anything without your permission. They just have to watch and hold back.
You wait until you can speak properly before you say anything to them.
“You didn’t cum, did you, gorgeous?” you ask, swiveling your oversensitive pussy back on Changbin, spots swimming in your vision from how hard you came.
“No, noona,” Changbin says, and his voice is thin with strain but confident.
You know he didn’t, but it’s satisfying to make him say it. He’s holding still now, just standing there stuffing you full. That orgasm cleared your head a bit; you feel more centered than ever. And you feel a little bit bad for Chan, honestly. He’s gotten the least attention from you so far.
“I think Channie really wishes he was you two right now. What d’you think, peach?” you ask, directing the last part at Chan.
Chan doesn’t answer right away, which is just as well, because you can see his erection straining against his dark jeans. His eyes are fixed between your legs, where you can feel your own wetness inching obscenely out around Changbin’s cock.
“I asked you a question,” you say, louder, and Chan looks at your face instead of your pussy.
“I think I’ve been good, noona,” Chan says quietly.
“Let’s get a second opinion, hm?” you say.
You peel Changbin’s hands off your waist and scoot away from him, pulling yourself off his dick, and push Jisung away to give yourself some room. You settle beside Jisung, who sits back down against the mattress and leans on his elbows to look at the rest of you.
“But noonaaaa,” Changbin whines.
“You got some already,” you admonish. “Don’t be greedy.”
Changbin pouts at you, and you reach out and squish his cheeks in your hand. He just lets you do it, and you lean in and kiss his lips. He deserves it, and more.
“So. Consensus,” you say, “Has Channie been good?”
“Not as good as me,” Changbin mutters.
You laugh, and turn to Jisung expectantly for his answer.
“I think so,” Jisung says, “He listens to you much better than he listens to me.”
“How honest,” you say.
You turn and swing one leg over Jisung’s torso, only hesitating for a second as you factor in your body weight on top of his dainty little body and then deciding it doesn’t matter. You sit up straight, facing Jisung so that you can see his expression, trapping his bare cock between your folds, still kind of covered in your stretched and soaked panties, and his stomach.
“Oh, Jesus,” Jisung wheezes, throwing his head back.
“They’re really roasting you,” you say to Chan conversationally, as if you’re not torturing Jisung in the same moment.
“I’m used to it,” he replies, giving you a sheepish smile that shows his deep dimples.
His casual admission is strangely charming, and it makes you smile back. You grind down on Jisung just for a second, just to hear the noise that he makes. He doesn't disappoint, a whine coming up from his chest as his hands scrabble at the sheets. He doesn't touch you, even though you haven't said that he can't. The faultless obedience is thrilling.
"Are you ready for a little more?" you ask Jisung, nodding toward Changbin.
"A little?" Changbin protests.
You send him a wink, realizing the stupid joke. "Oh, come on, that wasn't a dig."
"Thin ice, noona," he mutters.
You raise an eyebrow at that. "Excuse me?"
"Biting the hand that feeds you, hyung," Jisung sing-songs, tilting his head up.
"Jisungie, you talk too much," you tease.
You shift over Jisung so that the head of his cock prods at your entrance. You're still wet and messy from all of their handiwork, and Jisung keens.
"We don't need him, do we?" you nod over your shoulder at Changbin.
"I mean, I was looking forward to the dicking, but - oh shit" Jisung moans, as you reach down and pull your panties aside properly, and let the very tip of him slip inside you.
"This isn't the plan," Changbin complains.
You smile at him sweetly. "I just don't want anyone to forget who's in charge here."
You climb off Jisung, leaving him whining in your wake, and move up to the spot at the head of the bed where you'd sat Chan earlier. The three boys watch as you settle cross-legged, casual as anything.
"I think," you say, resting your chin in your hand and your elbow on your knee, "I think that I just want to watch for a while."
All three of them, Changbin and Chan standing side by side and Jisung sitting half-upright, look at you with matching wide eyes. You tut, looking right back at them and silently making up your mind.
"Come here, peach," you say, making grabby hands at Chan.
He complies easily, coming back up the bed toward you, and you uncross your legs to make some room, patting the mattress in front of you. Chan pauses, kneeling between your open legs, and you turn him around gently by the shoulders. You sit him down with his back pressed to your chest. He's still fully dressed, even after everything that’s gone on, and his silky black shirt is cool and soft against your bare skin. His broad shoulders cover you entirely, but he melts against you, sliding down a little so that his head rests at the crook of your neck, curly black hair against your cheek.
"Jisungie, Binnie?" you say, "I want you to put on a good show for me while I give this poor baby boy some attention."
You let your hands wander to the top button on Chan's shirt. It's not the top button, really, because he's got the first three undone already to show a span of pale toned chest. So you unbutton the next one, and crawl your fingers down to the next, too.
"So I can," Changbin starts, "I can-"
"Yes," you nod, "But neither of you can cum until I say so. Okay?"
"Okay," says Jisung eagerly.
"You have to earn it," you warn, "A good show."
Jisung and Changbin look at each other, significantly, like they're silently concocting their own plan. You decide you can get a hand on that ball, too.
"Channie, wouldn't they be pretty if they kissed for us?" you ask, murmuring right into Chan's ear.
He nods eagerly, and you pop another shirt button. You glance down at Chan's torso, completely bare to you now, all pale smooth skin and chiseled abs. So you ease the silky shirt off his shoulders, down his arms, and discard it off the side of the bed.
By the time you look back up, Jisung has Changbin pinned to the bed, straddling his waist and kissing him right into the mattress.
"Oh," you say mildly, "Promising start, hm?"
You stroke up and down Chan's abs with your fingertips, and he laughs gently.
"They're always like this," he says.
"Thirsty?"
"Out of control," he corrects.
Jisung breaks away from Changbin's mouth, frowning at Chan. "You love it, you asshole. You're just as bad."
Chan nestles back into you more and doesn't say anything, but you can see an answering half-smile creeping over his face. Changbin takes advantage of the distraction to flip Jisung over onto his back, finally flexing the strength you know he has, and bends Jisung nearly in half. His knees are up by his shoulders, and his face is more than a little alarmed.
"Hey, I'm not that bendy!" Jisung protests.
"Yeah, you are," Changbin shushes, "Do you wanna cum or not?"
You grin. "Come on, then."
With a big upside-down sigh, Jisung looks at you, while Changbin digs around in the sheets for the lube.
"You see what I have to deal with?" Jisung asks you, "They're so good and nice for you, and for me? This disrespect. I don't even know - OH-"
Jisung cuts off, and it's obvious what's happening from the way Changbin's hands fly down to Jisung's hips and Jisung's back arches up to meet him. You hum your satisfaction, taking in the blissful expression on Changbin's face, and the sweat already beading at Jisung's hairline.
But you quickly realize that you can't see nearly well enough. They're laying up the bed properly, feet at the foot and Jisung's head against the mattress near yours and Chan's intertwined legs. But if they were perpendicular to you...
"Okay, gorgeous," you coo, and Changbin's head snaps up at the sound of the pet name, "Turn around on the bed so that I can see exactly how nice Jisungie fits around you."
It takes a second, but Changbin processes your words with a slow blink, and grabs Jisung's hips to unceremoniously turn them ninety degrees. Now they're laying across the bed widthwise, and you have a delightful view of Changbin's thick cock sinking into Jisung smoothly. He's set a brutal pace, snapping against Jisung's narrow hips with a force that makes you clench around nothing. He’s obviously making up for the painfully slow pace you made him take on you. It's quiet enough that all you can hear is the perverse squelch of lube and the tiny breathy sighs Jisung makes every time Changbin bottoms out.
"Jesus," Chan breathes, and you nearly jump out of your skin; despite the weight of him on you, you've all but forgotten about him while you're taking in the view in front of you.
"How do they look?" you ask him, reaching up to card your fingers through his hair.
"So good," Chan answers, "So - ah-"
You tug his curls gently, and Chan arches his neck back so that his head rests fully on your shoulder.
"Noona," Changbin says with an edge of desperation in his voice, pulling your attention back to him, "Noona, I'm not, I can't-"
"You gotta hold on for me, gorgeous," you coax.
Changbin nods, digging his fingers into Jisung's hips and making his poor boyfriend squeak at the added pressure. He sits back on his heels, pulling Jisung with him, so that he’s almost upright, giving you a delightful view of their bodies meeting. It makes you groan to yourself, waves of arousal peeling through your gut.
You reach down to undo Chan’s belt and jeans, and it only takes a moment to rid him of those, too. He’s ridiculously hard in his black boxers, and as you palm him through the fabric, you have to admit that he’s the biggest of the three of them.
“Who’s gonna cum first?” you ask Chan.
He drags his eyes away from the sight of Jisung’s arched back, the faint bruises forming under Changbin’s hands, and looks up at you.
“I don’t know,” he murmurs.
“I think Jisung’s earned it,” you decide, “Peach, you wanna give him a hand?”
“Not him,” Jisung gasps.
Chan looks affronted. “Hey!”
“Noona please,” Jisung begs. “Please!”
“Oh, you want me?” you ask, smirking.
Jisung nods, gasping and screwing his eyes shut as Changbin keeps up that punishing pace. You can have mercy on him, can’t you?
Chan leans forward so you can wiggle out from behind him, and you sit back on your heels beside Changbin and Jisung. The view is even better up close: Changbin’s muscles bunching and expanding, Jisung rocking up the bed with every thrust. Changbin’s gorgeous face furrowed in concentration. Jisung’s rim contracting obscenely around the cock still working in and out of him.
You feel delightfully gross, wonderfully perverse and voyeuristic, and you lean down to kiss Jisung. He kisses back like he’s starving, panting into your mouth.
“Pretty boy,” you say, right against his lips, “Do you want to cum?”
Jisung nods, his eyes barely focusing on you, the attention going right to his head. “Yes, noona!”
“What do you need to cum?” you ask him.
“Your…hand, noona, or your mouth, please,” Jisung whines.
You smile at him, leaning in for one more kiss. “You can cum when you’re ready, baby.”
“Yes, noona.”
One down, one to go. You shuffle so that you’re sitting face to face with Changbin and he all but falls forward to kiss you, his hips not even stuttering as they drive forward. His singular focus is impressive. You let Changbin press messy open-mouth kisses against your lips, your cheeks, as you finally wrap a hand around Jisung’s cock.
His whole body jumps when you start jerking him quickly. It only takes two, three, four pumps before Jisung is babbling, begging for your permission even though you’ve already given it.
“Noona, I’m going to – please let me cum, I need it, I need-”
“Go ahead, pretty baby, cum for me,” you say.
That’s all it takes for Jisung to come into your hand with a shout, loud and high-pitched and cracking in the middle. His voice is a rush of power, like adrenaline in your veins, and you keep up your pace, stroking him through his orgasm. You look to Changbin next, watching him as he throws his head back and moans openly at the feeling of Jisung coming around him. His eyes are wide open, still, and he finds your gaze as he finally begins to lose his pace. This is the second person’s orgasm he’s had to ride out, poor thing. It almost makes you want to keep going, see how long he can last…
“I-” he stutters, “I want…”
“Ask nicely,” you instruct.
“I want to cum, noona,” Changbin pleads.
“That doesn’t sound like asking nicely.”
Changbin makes a tiny sound of despair, and tries again, “Please, may I cum, noona? I’ve – God – I’ve been good, haven’t I? Please?”
He’s beautiful, begging so nicely for you. You bring up your hand that’s covered in Jisung’s cum and nudge the dirty fingers against his lips. Without hesitating, Changbin sucks two fingers into his mouth, his tongue working between the digits.
“Filthy,” you coo.
Changbin just whines around your fingers.
“Who are you cumming for, Binnie?” you ask, taking your hand back.
“You.”
“Hm?” you feign ignorance.
“You!”
“Who?”
“You, noona,” he moans.
“Okay, gorgeous, you can cum.”
“Thank you.”
With a final moan that sounds an awful lot like your name, Changbin cums, making Jisung whine out in his high, cracked little voice at the feeling of it. You lean back, just watching and enjoying, as they both come down.
Two down, one to go.
Chan is still waiting for you, though you wouldn’t doubt that he’s a little less patient than he was at the beginning of the session. He’s sitting back against the headboard again when you turn around, just watching you. You notice that he’s actually sitting on top of his hands, and you smile disdainfully at him.
“Oh, peach,” you say, “Are you so fucking desperate that you have to sit on your pretty little hands, to keep from disobeying me?”
“I’ve listened to you, noona,” Chan says.
“Is it so hard for you to be good?” you chide.
“It’s not!” he insists weakly.
“Shit, I think we could go again,” Jisung comments offhandedly, breaking your train of thought.
You look at him, suppressing your smile in favor of a cool stare. “Can you not let me deal with our sweet peach for two fucking minutes?”
“I’m just sayin’,” Jisung defends, holding up his hands in surrender. “Refractory period? Great.”
You decide to ignore Jisung and his big mouth. Chan deserves some undivided attention, and you planned right from the start that you’d have him like this.
Rolling your eyes in Jisung’s direction, you crawl over and take hold of Chan’s boxers, and pull them down his pale pretty legs and off. He looks distinctly shy when he’s finally fully naked for you, so you return the favor by slipping off your ruined panties. You can feel two sets of eyes on your ass as you maneuver yourself onto Chan’s lap.
You’re delighted to find that if you sit up perfectly straight, you’re taller than him. Tall enough that he has to tilt his head back to look at you. He’s all wide brown eyes and handsome flushed skin, and you stare down at him fondly.
“What do you want, peach?” you ask.
“You…” Chan trails.
You walk your hand up his shoulder, up into his hair, and tug at the back of his head. He tilts his chin up, leaning into the action, exposing his long beautiful neck to you. You can’t help it – you lean in and indulgently bite into the skin on the side of his throat.
“What about me?” you ask against his flesh.
You can feel Chan swallow. “I want…to fuck you, noona.”
“I know you can ask nicely.”
As you trail down and add another bite under the first, leaving your mark behind on his porcelain skin, Chan shows you just how well he can ask.
“Please, noona,” he breathes, “I can make you feel good, like Changbinnie, better than Changbinnie, wanna fuck you so good and fill-”
He cuts off with an embarrassed whimper, as if he’d almost let something slip. Unluckily for him, you have a pretty good idea what he was about to say.
“Oh, peach, you’re dirty,” you purr.
“I’m sorry, I-” Chan sputters, but you cut him off.
“No, no, no, no,” you shush him, “I like it.”
You lift yourself up slightly so that you can reach down and line him up with your pussy, and without preamble, you sink down on him. You know you’re still wet and sloppy from before, and Chan groans shamelessly as you settle your hips firmly against his.
“You can have me, but you’re doing all the work,” you inform him.
Apparently, that’s no problem for Chan, because he plants his feet on the mattress for leverage and begins pistoning upwards into you. You rise onto your knees slightly to meet him, making him work harder, rise higher to chase what he wants.
His pace is brutal, his hips moving precise and intense against yours, and you’re shocked to feel a second, penetrative orgasm rising on its own. You’re still so sensitive from cumming the first time, you know you’re not going to last very long. But Chan is having a similar problem.
“I’m not…I’m not going to last, noona, I’m-” Chan moans, sounding embarrassed by it.
You coo at him. His self-consciousness, even this far into a scene, is so endearing.
“Did you get all worked up watching Jisung and Changbin have their fun?” you ask, patronizing.
Chan nods, throwing his head all the way back as he chases his high, driving into you hard. “So good, noona, it was so good…”
You glance over your shoulder at the other two, the mention of them making you wonder what they’re up to, unattended over there, and you’re met with quite the scene.
“It seems like they’re enjoying us, too,” you say.
Chan brings his head forward again with what seems like a tremendous amount of effort, and peels his eyes open. When he sees his boyfriends behind you, his breakneck pace finally stutters.
“Fuck,” he groans, “Oh, Jesus Christ-”
Jisung is standing beside the bed, bracing himself against the wall like he’ll collapse if left only to his own strength. Which is valid, because Changbin is knelt between his legs, Jisung’s cock down his throat and Jisung’s hand on the back of his head, guiding him.
“They weren’t kidding about being ready another round,” you joke, and to your utter delight, Chan laughs.
“And I wasn’t kidding about – noona, fuck,” Chan whimpers, “I’m not – can I cum, noona?”
You hum. “You wanna fill me up, peach?”
Chan’s breath hitches at your words, and if it’s even possible, he begins fucking into you harder. He’s hitting you just right inside, cockhead brushing against that delicious spot and making stars dance in your vision. You can count on one hand how many times you’ve cum just from a partner like this, and you’re salivating at the idea of it. You’re so damn close.
“Yes,” he whines, “Noona please let me, I’ll make you feel so good, I promise, fill you up with my cum and – and-”
“You’ve waited long enough for me, peach,” you say, reaching up to cup his face in both of your hands, forcing him to meet your eyes. “Cum.”
On command, like the good boy he is, Chan cries out, high pitched and absolutely beautiful, and cums. And then, surprise of surprises, he snakes one hand down between the two of you and finds your clit, rubbing into the poor sore nerves like he might die if he doesn’t make you cum.
And you do. You can’t even choke down the squeak of “Chan, oh, fuck!” as you clamp down on him, pleasure bursting behind your eyelids like fireworks and warming you all the way down to your toes.
As your orgasm fades and the world comes back into focus around you, the first thing you see is Chan’s self-satisfied little smile. That smug bastard…
You grin back at him, pushing him away by the chest, “Shut up.”
Gingerly, you climb off his softening cock and off his lap entirely, to throw yourself down haphazardly on the bed. Chan collapses across you, landing heavy over your legs and making you protest for your poor ankles.
“I can confidently say, that was fantastic,” comes Chan’s muffled voice, facedown in the mattress as he is.
“Seconded,” says Jisung.
You tilt your head back to see Jisung and Changbin peering down at you, both looking heavy-eyed and swollen-lipped. They look as drained as you feel, and just as satisfied.
“That was a hell of a show, (Y/N)-noona,” Changbin says.
“Glad you liked it, I worked really hard,” you tease. “Does anyone need water? Food?”
“Cuddles,” mumbles Chan.
“Yeah, you have to stay the night, noona, aftercare and cuddling is non-negotiable,” Jisung agrees.
Changbin nods. “We’re even better at that than the sex.”
It shouldn’t be as touching as it is that they want you to stay. But fondness wells up in your chest, soft delight that they seem to enjoy your platonic company just as much as your sexual company. But this bed is disgusting. Changbin needs to wash his sheets, there’s no way you can sleep here in the miasma of lube and bodily fluids.
And besides, the four of you need to talk about all of this at some point. You’re still their classmate, after all, at least until the end of the semester, and an impromptu hookup like this can lead to some real awkward class meetings. Some pillow talk, some cuddles, and some Gatorade are all in order here.
So you smile, wide and honest and mischievous, and stand up on shaky legs to head for the bedroom door. The boys look confused at your seemingly sudden departure, and you cock a thumb at the other bedroom, across the hall.
“Now, Channie, where’s that pillow fort I heard so much about?”
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chaoticpuff17 · 4 years ago
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Suga We’re Going Down
part 5
masterlist
alright my darlings! here it is, and its a long one! and I have some links for you today! you can visit the National Palace Museum here! The website allows you to virtually explore this beautiful museum! as well as a link to the song she plays later in the chapter here. Enjoy, my darlings!--- chaotic puff
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Everything was better when she was with Eun Jae. Her little guy was her favorite person in the world. Halmeoni was confused as to why she was spending a Monday night at the house, but she allowed it without too many questions. It was one of the things that Y/N loved the most about the old woman. She knew when to push, and when to let things lie. Halmeoni knew that she was knew that Y/N would talk to her when she was ready, and Eun Jae was happy to have his mother there with him.
He was a sweet kid. He really was, and there was nothing she loved more than cuddling up with him, but their little bubble had to burst eventually. The next day came too quickly for her, and much to her horror, Jackson was waiting for her outside when she and Eun Jae left the house both with their backpacks on.
“Miss Kang.” He greeted smile bright on his face until he caught sight of the toddler hanging onto her hand. His expression dropped into one of shock before a softer smile crept across his features. “Hi, buddy.” He greeted bowing slightly to the toddler who immediately hid behind his mother’s leg. Jackson was unphased though. “My name is Jackson. What’s yours?”
Eun Jae looked up at her as if asking for confirmation that it was okay to interact with this stranger. She nodded giving him a soft smile of her own as she gently pushed him forward. “Go on.” She encouraged not wanting to be rude. It was important to her that Eun Jae grew up with good manners. She did not want him to end up like his parents or her parents for that matter.
“I’m Eun Jae.” The toddler muttered ducking his head quickly before burying his face in her leg again.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Eun Jae.” Jackson stood up rubbing his neck as he glanced back at the car. “We’re going to need to get a car seat installed.”
Y/N froze. “You’re not going to have to tell Mr. Min about this, are you?”
Jackson’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Mr. Min doesn’t know?” She shook her head. “I don’t…”
She glanced down at Eun Jae making sure he was distracted before she started speaking to Jackson her voice low and rushed. “He’s my sister’s kid. She walked out, so he’s mine now. Mr. Min doesn’t need to know about him. My family doesn’t affect him.”
Jackson nodded in understanding. Family was family. Business was business. He could respect her wish to keep her family out of it, and the fierce spark in her eye was enough to convince him that he didn’t want to mess with her when it came to her family.
“I won’t lie to him, but I won’t tell him either.” He promised. “Do you have a car seat we can use for now?” She shook her head no. “Okay…” He thought for a moment. “We could….”
“I’m not taking him in that car without a car seat.” She snapped seeing the direction his thoughts were going. “We’ll take the bus like we normally do, and if you really want to drive us, you can come pick us up, with a car seat, at the end of the day.” She nodded giving him a firm glare before she smile turning back to the toddler. “Let’s go to the bus stop, buddy. Say bye-bye to, Mr. Wang.”
Eun Jae unburied his head from her leg and waved goodbye shyly.
“Bye, Eun Jae.” Jackson waved with a smile of his own as Y/N led the little one away a little more quickly than she would have normally.
She just wanted everything to go back to normal, but it was too late for that now. She’d already signed the deal, and everything else would have to wait until they were back on their feet and far away enough from financial ruin that there was no need for her to be signed away to Min Yoongi. But that was a long way off as of yet. For now, she’d focus on Eun Jae and classes. There was no use worrying over things she couldn’t change.
She dropped Eun Jae off at his preschool and then made her way to her own school. She’d see him later. She’d promised Halmeoni that she would drop him back off, as she had a doctor’s appointment today and couldn’t pick him up herself, and neither of them trusted her father to get him from school. If they did that, Eun Jae would never get picked up, and they would receive a very angry phone call from the preschool wondering why no one had come for Eun Jae.
Thankfully the day passed much as it always did up until her classes were over, and then there was Jackson waiting for her with that damned car.
Despite her sour look, he met her with a smile.
“I got the car seat!” He announced proudly as he opened the door to the backseat for her.
“I can see that.” She sighed as she slipped inside. “It’s a bit early to pick up Eun Jae yet.” She informed him. “I usually go home after class, but Halmeoni can’t pick him up today.” She explained.
“Well, what would you like to do in the mean time?” He asked as they pulled away from her university. She was silent thinking it over, and Jackson was suddenly struck by how young she was. She looked a little lost sitting there in the back of a car that was much too large for just one person. “Perhaps, we could go to spoil you for a moment.” He suggested.
“What do you mean?” She asked staring at him in the rear view mirror.
“Well, you have to go meet Mr. Min eventually, and he would want you to treat yourself.” He shrugged. “Get your hair done, your nails. Go buy yourself something nice. It’s on his dime.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “I really don’t think…?”
“You’re Agust D’s girl now. You have to look like Agust D’s girl. And you never know when he’s gonna call for your first date. Don’t worry. He’ll pay for it.”
She hadn’t thought about that. Technically, Yoongi was responsible for her clothing budget, but would it be added onto her payment like a reimbursement or did it only cover the things he wanted her to wear? But then again, Jackson said it was covered, and he’d been so nice. Maybe it would be okay to do something for herself. She was meant to look a certain way, she supposed.
“So what’s it gonna be, chickadee?” He asked flashing her a smile in the mirror.
“Nails maybe?” She fidgeted uncomfortably not knowing what to do. It felt odd to have access to someone else’s bank account.
“Nails it is.” Jackson nodded driving them off in the direction of the nearest nail salon.
As weird as it all was, she had to admit it was nice to get her nails done. She never had them done before, not professionally at least, and this was better than anything she’d ever been able to do on herself. She was musically inclined, not artistically, but there was still a feeling of guilt, of spending money on herself when her family needed the money far more than she needed a manicure. Her nails were never long anyway. Musicians didn’t normally keep long nails. It was odd to see them painted so prettily.
Staring down at her nails she had to wonder if this was going to be her life now. Would she have to look all put together all the time? Would she be constantly worrying that Yoongi would find out about Eun Jae? She didn’t want to be constantly worrying. She knew worry. She already had too much to worry about, and worry was exhausting. She couldn’t afford to be any more exhausted than she already was. There was too much to do these days.
She glanced down at her phone wondering when her first summons would come in. He had promised she’d be seeing him soon, but when was soon? Did they start having their meetings this week or next week? Either way she was expected to meet with him at least three times a week, not counting extra meetings he could ask for. Those at least she could refuse so long as she had a good reason, but she was smart. She was sure she could get out of a good majority of the extra meetings so long as Yoongi didn’t catch onto her dodging him.
She knew she wouldn’t be able to avoid all extra meetings, but she could dodge some of them. She’d have to. She needed time with Eun Jae, and she knew that weekends would be hard to balance between Yongi and Eun Jae especially when she hadn’t told Yoongi about Eun Jae’s existence.  They were the two men in her life even if Yoongi’s stay was only temporary. That did not make him any less a part of her life though. For now, at least, he was quite a major part of her life, and she’d have to treat him as such.
“Where to now, miss?” Jackson asked pulling her out of her thoughts.
“The preschool.” She gave him the address with a strained smile as she began to wonder how she was going to balance everything out. She had other jobs. She had school. She had Eun Jae. She knew this was the best way to settle their debts, but what had she been thinking when she’d agreed to this? How was she ever going to make this work?
Jackson took her home after they dropped off Eun Jae with Halmeoni. She rather unfortunately had a date to prepare for. She’d gotten the text while she’d been signing Eun Jae out of preschool. It was short, precise, a simple message saying for her to be ready by seven o’clock and the promise that appropriate attire would be delivered to her home. Other than that and a promise from Jackson Yoongi and his driver would pick her up later, she knew nothing.
When she arrived home, she was met with a package on her doorstep. She had to give it to him, he was nothing if not efficient. There was still hours before she expected him, but it at least gave her time to get ready even if he hadn’t told her where they were going.
The box contained a modernized hanbok. The top was done in layers. The first was white, and undershirt. The second was in a lovely shade of purple that trailed down towards her knees, and the last layer was a black jacket type piece. There was a black pair of pants to match, and a thick traditional style belt to tie everything together. There was also a pair of ankle boots which to her immense relief looked comfortable. The heel was thick and not too high. She could actually walk in them. Anything too tall or with a stiletto was always a bit of a challenge for her. The next thing she picked out where the two smaller boxes that contained her jewelry for the evening. One was a pair of lovely earrings, the other was a hair pin. It was a lovely piece with the main part crafted too look like a branch while the decorative piece at the end was fashioned into tiny silver leaves and little off shooting branches that surrounded a smooth round piece of jade with a silver stripe slashed through the middle. It reminded her of the moon.
There was one final thing in the box that caused her to laugh in disbelief. There sitting in the bottom of the box was something she had skipped over when she was looking at the hanbok and the shoes and jewelry, but there sitting at the bottom of the box, was a coat. It was a long thick wool coat that would hang down to her mid-calf. At the very bottom of the box, underneath the coat there was a note written in short quick strokes. The letters scrunched together slightly. It was the handwriting of someone who was used to writing in a hurry.
Because you won’t wear mine.
She had to laugh at that. He was respecting her wish not to wear his coat while at the same time taking care of his worry over her own coat. It was as sneaky as it was caring, and even she had to admit that it was a better coat than the one she had. It was warmer and better quality. And she very begrudgingly had to admit that she loved the entire outfit especially the coat.
She passed the first few hours till her date on homework. She had to get it done at some point after all. Even if she was a sugar baby now, school came first. School what was going to help in the long run, not Yoongi, but that didn’t mean she detested lesson planning any less. It was a necessary evil even if it left her wondering for the thousandth time why she had chosen to go into education.
Homework could only keep her occupied for so long though. Eventually, she had to get ready. It was simple enough. All she had to do was throw on the provided outfit, slap on some makeup, and pull her hair up into a bun sticking the hair pin through it, but then she was left to twiddle her thumbs as the minutes ticked by until Yoongi’s arrival.
In hindsight, she had begun getting ready too early. Now she had all this time on her hands to sit and think about what she was about to do. She had always been a worrier, and years of experience had taught her it wasn’t good to sit with her thoughts when she was nervous. The pent up nervous energy had her pacing the floor as she revisited the urge to tear her hair out from the roots. She hated that feeling, the feeling that your stomach is trying to crawl out of your throat. Worse than that, she felt as though she was going to crawl out of her own skin. She was buzzing with nerves.
Part of her couldn’t wait for Yoongi to arrive just to get this first date over with, but another more prominent part of her hoped that he would never arrive. But it was too late for thoughts like that, wasn’t it? She’d already signed the contract, and she was bound to it for a year. She could survive a year. It wasn’t like Yoongi was a creepy old man. He was young and handsome too. He was even kind, from what she had seen at least, and yet something just wasn’t right. He made her just the tiniest bit uneasy, and she couldn’t place her finger on why.
There was nothing about Yoongi that should have made her uneasy. He had been nothing but kind to her so far, but that didn’t stop that spark of unease telling her something was not quite right. She was determined to brush it off as nerves though. It had to be nerves just jumping to the worst case scenario as her mind was prone to do. She could blame that lovely habit on her wonderful parents. They hadn’t been a shining example of a good life. Something was always wrong when it came to them, and they’d taught her to expect the worst. It was almost a relief really that her mother was gone. She didn’t show up often, but when she did, she always brought trouble with her, and they really couldn’t afford any more trouble at the moment.
There was a knock on her door that pulled her out of her thoughts with a jump. That had to be him. With a deep steadying breath she got up and made her way to the door making sure to pull the coat closed around her before she did. There was nothing revealing about the outfit that he’d picked out, but she still felt exposed, but that had to be nerves as well. He made her nervous in a way that was completely different than the unease he gave her.
It was his eyes. Those eyes seemed to see straight through her without ever revealing anything about himself. They were almost catlike. He reminded her of a stray that used to hang outside of the restaurant. He was an old ornery creature, scruffed up from one too many fights with the other cats, but he had those same eyes. He’d stare at you as though he knew everything about you, and as a child, Y/N really believed it. She had been convinced that the cat knew all the secrets of the universe. Halmeoni had done nothing to dispel that belief either. She’d treated that scruffy old tomcat as though he was a prince. She’d told her that cats were bad luck, and that the old tomcat was a bad spirit. She kept the animal fed and watered as a way to appease the bad spirit. Now as an adult, Y/N wasn’t so sure that the cat hadn’t been a bad spirit. Her family certainly hadn’t had much good luck over the years, but it also wasn’t as bad as it could be.
Yoongi was like that cat. He, or at the very least the situation, was bad, but it wasn’t as bad as it could be.  She doubted though that Yoongi was a bad spirit come to torment her family. He was honestly the best luck they had had in a while even if it wasn’t in an ideal way.
She opened the door with a smile and was met with Yoongi standing there waiting for her with his hands tucked into his coat pockets.
“Hi.” She murmured shuffling her feet awkwardly.
“Hi.” He murmured back offering her his arm with a small almost imperceptible smile of his own. “Let’s go.”
“Lead the way.”
She took Yoongi’s arm and let him lead her towards the elevator. “I see you got the coat.”
“I did.” She agreed suppressing an awkward smile not sure what to say or do with herself. “It’s very nice, thank you.”
“Well, you didn’t seem to want mine.”
“Oh!” She groaned before looking at him apologetically. “I completely forgot to give that back to you. I can run back up…”
“It’s fine.” He interrupted his lips quirking up a little bit on edges. “You should keep it.”
“It’s really fine!” She rushed. “I can just take the elevator back up. It’ll only take a minute.”
“Keep it.” He insisted his first actual smile of the evening stretching across his lips. “It looked good on you.”
He found the stunned expression on her face cute. Everything about her was cute, especially the blush that heated up her cheeks as she averted her eyes. She was just so innocent. How could anyone not like her? How could all those people in her life leave her in the mess that was her life? How could her family have put her in this position to begin with? On the one hand he was grateful that they had. It meant that he got her. But on the other hand, he was just so angry on her behalf. She was too sweet to for her family. They didn’t deserve her, sweet soul that she was.
“So, where are we going?” She asked as they walked out to the car.
“It’s a surprise.”
The drive wasn’t terribly long, but it was quiet. Neither she nor Yoongi were much for small talk. He didn’t seem the kind for small talk, and the jitters had left her grasping at straws for something to say. Coming up empty, she settled on silence. It was mercifully not an awkward silence though. She kept her attention on the city going by outside the window, and Yoongi, unbeknownst to her, kept his attention on her until they reached their destination.
“The museum?” She asked as Yoongi helped her out of the car. “It closes at six doesn’t it?” She turned to him in confusion, tugging her coat tighter around herself to ward of the evening chill.
“I rented it.” He shrugged wrapping an arm around her waist as he saw her shiver. He couldn’t do much for her until they got inside, but he could offer her what little body heat he could with a simple gesture.
“You rented the National Palace Museum?” She asked staring at him with wide eyes as he steered them towards the steps leading up to the entrance.
“Yep.”
“Just like that?” “Just like that.” He nodded leading her up the stairs. “I need to do some research for an upcoming mv. Thought it would be more fun with company.”
“So you rented the museum?”
The concept was mind boggling for her. Who rented a museum? She knew he was famous, but couldn’t he go to the museum like a normal person? Plenty of celebrities went out. A hat and a face mask worked well as a disguise, and no one would be expecting Agust d at the National Palace Museum. It didn’t exactly fit his image. The big tough rapper going to the museum? She didn’t think so. His fans wouldn’t exactly be looking for him there.
“Seemed like a nice date, and you don’t seem like the kind of girl who goes to clubs.” He shrugged again as the climbed the steps.
She bristled at that. “I go where you want me to go.” She sniffed straightening her spine. She knew she shouldn’t be offended. She wasn’t the kind of girl that went to clubs, but she was bristling anyway.
“I didn’t mean it badly.” He chuckled looking down at her fondly. “But this seemed like a better option, and I’d appreciate the company.”
She sighed forcing herself to relax as they reached the top of the stairs. “So what kind of mv are you making that needs research at the National Palace Museum?”
“It’s for a track called Daechwita. I wanted a historical vibe for it.”
“Daechwita is a traditional type of music.” She nodded understandingly. “Military march or royal procession type of vibe?” She asked as Yoongi helped her out of her coat once they got inside.
“Bit of both.” His eyes widened slightly as he took in the sight of her in the outfit he had picked out for her. It looked better than he had imagined it would.
The layers of the hanbok draped around her elegantly while the colors complimented her skin and hair wonderfully. It wasn’t sexy per say, but it was extremely hot to see her in something he had bought for her. His mind was already whirring with the possibility of all the things he could fill their wardrobe with. He planned on spoiling her rotten.
He liked seeing her hair pulled up as well. It exposed the length of her neck to him. He couldn’t wait to mark up that neck. She’d look so good covered in his marks, but she wasn’t ready for that yet, but soon.
“Then we’d better start researching.” She smiled eyes sparkling with excitement as Yoongi shed his own coat.
She couldn’t lie. She really did prefer the museum to the club, and the idea of being able to wander the museum after hours with no one else around was too exciting to pass up.
Yoongi grinned following after her as she wandered off into the first exhibition room.
He didn’t have to follow for long though as he found her just past the doors examining the first of the exhibits, a painted screen and a throne.
“Joseon Dynasty.” She said her arms folded comfortably around her. “The museum focuses mostly on the Joseon Dynasty. This screen, well the scene on the screen there are two more upstairs, traditionally sat behind the throne of the king.” She explained her eyes glued to the painted silk in front of them.
“It’s not a very intimidating throne.” He commented stepping up next to her. “Doesn’t look comfortable either.”
“Well, if you were king, you could make your throne look however you wanted.” She shrugged. “There’s been more than one throne, but the screen is traditional.”
“Why?” He asked wanting to hear her talk more. She was relaxed for once. She was never relaxed with him, and he didn’t want it to end. It was also cute to him how she seemed to know so much about the exhibit. She’d probably been before, but she was looking at the exhibit as though it was the first time.
“It represents harmony and balance. See how everything is symmetrical, fitting of the perfection of the king?” She motioned towards the screen drawing his attention from her and back to the exhibit. “Everything in it is long lasting, the mountains, the trees, the waterfalls. It’s supposed to represent the benevolence of the royals.”
“Even if the royal wasn’t benevolent?”
“Even if they weren’t benevolent.” She agreed.
“I’d pick a more comfortable throne.” He mused eyeing the wooden seat.
“Well, it’s not for lounging on.” She laughed looking at him with a bright smile.
“It could be.”
“Lazy king. Lounging on his throne instead of ruling.”
“Maybe he was a tyrant.”
“Maybe.” She agreed. “But look how beautiful it is. The detail that went into it.”
“It’s beautiful.” He agreed looking at the golden creatures drawn all over the panels of the throne, visions for his mv already taking hold in his head. “Why the screen though?”
She shrugged. “Screens normally sat behind the seats of the powerful. You see them in every historical drama. Sometimes more than one. Royalty needs to hold a sense of divinity and majesty. Everything from the clothes to the jewelry to the throne needed to display that.” She explained her tone soft, respectful.  “It’s why the throne was always on a dais and why the king and queen always had opulent robes.”  
“You know a lot about history.”
She startled a little blushing sheepishly. “It was always my favorite subject in school.”
He hummed nodding his head as he turned his attention back to the throne. “So the king should definitely have a screen.”
She nodded gently. “And lots of things in gold.”
He held out a hand to her, palm up. “Shall we?”
She eyed his hand for a moment, trying to decide if she wanted to take his hand or not. It was such a simple thing, holding someone’s hand, but it was such an intimate thing as well. Friendship, romance, comfort. Those were all things that could be conveyed in the simple act of holding another person’s hand. She’d have to do things that were much more intimate in this arrangement though, so she placed her hand delicately in his allowing his much larger hand to envelop hers as he led her to her next exhibit.
It was a case full of seals, all shaped like turtles. Each seal had a corresponding piece of paper stamped in red ink to show what the seal looked like when it was stamped.
“Why are they all turtles?” Yoongi asked staring down at the seals.
“Because they’re like dragons.” It was his turn to stare at her incredulously. Turtles like dragons?  
“How is a turtle like a dragon?”
“They rule over all the bugs, and they live a long time, longer than anything else around them usually, like a dragon.” She explained smiling softly. “And turtles are cute.” She added on her smile stretching into a grin her nose scrunching up in a way that Yoongi found absolutely adorable.
“I still don’t think turtles are like dragons.” He shook his head repressing a grin of his own. It was so good to see her smiling though, not nervous smiles real happy smiles.
“Agree to disagree.”  She shrugged before tugging on his hand leading him further into the exhibit. “That seal across from us is King Taejo’s seal.” She explained pointing across the room. “It’s why it gets its own case.”
“How do you know so much about all this?” He asked as they moved further into the exhibit.
“My grandfather was a history teacher.” She explained her smile dimming becoming softer, sadder. “He used to take me here when I was little.” He hummed in understanding waiting for her to continue. “He died when I was seven, but I’ve always loved history because of him, and he loved this place.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
“He was a great man.” She hummed tilting her head as she thought. She shook her head slightly before a bright smile lit up her features, bright but a little strained. “Come on. There’s a lot more to see.”
And that’s how they went through the museum. Yoongi kept her hand safely tucked around hers. She pointed out her favorite exhibits, laughing about how uncomfortable the royal women’s palanquin looked compared to the king’s, and Yoongi hung off her every word, attentively taking note of the things that he could incorporate into his music video. He found her knowledge of the museum and its artifacts endearing. Her eyes would light up when she showed him her favorite exhibits. She’d been so tense and hesitant when she’d first taken his hand, but now every time they slipped apart for even a moment, she didn’t even flinch when they rejoined their hands. She had even been the one to grab his hand at one point, and Yoongi was practically beaming.
He had wanted something more secluded and easy for their first date, but he had never expected it to go as well as it had. The museum, the dinner for two he had set up for them on the second floor, it was all more perfect than he could ever imagine. She was perfect. He never wanted her to stop smiling. He loved that smile of hers. Just from this one night he had a million ideas, songs he wanted to write for her, places he wanted to take her. She liked hanok houses? He would buy her one. He’d buy her a piano and a cello too, the nicest cello he could find to fill the house with music. He’d buy her anything she wanted so long as she kept smiling at him like that.
It wasn’t nearly as bad as she expected either. Y/N actually found herself having a good time. Yoongi wasn’t so intimidating after all. She still had a lingering sense of unease at the back of her head, but it was easier to ignore now. Even if the intimate nature of the outing was a little too close to a date for her liking, she could actually see herself getting through the year now. It wasn’t going to be so bad. It helped that he was a gentleman. He pulled out her chair, helped her with her coat, opened doors, all those things that gentlemen are supposed to do. The happy atmosphere of the evening came crashing down though when Yoongi drove her home, but it wasn’t her home.
All the nerves came back with a fury. She was inexperienced, but she wasn’t naïve. She knew what was expected in their arrangement, but she that didn’t mean that she wasn’t horribly nervous. Yoongi could see it too. He watched all the color drain from her face as they pulled up to his building, but he squeezed her hand reassuringly as he led her into the building dismissing his driver for the night.
“It’s okay.” He assured her gently ushering her into the building as the escape route drove away leaving her stranded with Yoongi.
She nodded nervously, looking back at the entrance as though the car would magically appear to take her back to her own home.
Okay. Everything was okay. That was what she kept telling herself over and over again. It had to be okay, but she couldn’t stop the way her hands were trembling, and she was sure that Yoongi could feel it. Her hand was still enveloped by his own. She knew he’d noticed. He squeezed her hand reassuringly as he took her up to his penthouse apartment.
She had to admit that his home was beautiful, but it was too large for just one person. The apartment was done in shades of warm gray, and even though it was large, it still had the appearance of being lived in. Shoes were scattered by the door not having made it into the shoe rack. He flung their coats haphazardly across the table in the entryway before giving her a pair of guest slippers to wear. There was a coffee cup left out on the coffee table, and sheet music spread over the piano nestled in the corner of the living room.
It was the piano that drew her in. It was a gorgeous instrument. Coming closer she realized that a lot of the sheet music spread across the instrument was hand written.
“Did you write these?” She asked turning back to look at him where he stood a few feet away.
“Yeah.” He nodded moving forward a little.
“For the same album that the new mv is going to?” She asked picking up a few of the papers to look over the notes scribbled down in the same scrunched up scrawl that the note from the box had been in.
“Some of them.” He nodded coming up next to her to look at the particular song she was holding. “That one is for something else though.”
“What is it for?” She asked looking over to him.
“Not sure yet.” He shrugged.
“Can I try?” She asked tilting her head towards the piano, and a gummy grin spread across the man’s face.
“Please.”
She took a seat at the bench as Yoongi helped her arrange the sheets properly. “You’re sure this is okay?” She asked her fingers hovering over the keys.
He nodded again, and she turned her attention to the music.
“What tempo?” She asked noticing the lack of instruction. But it was hand written, and that was to be expected.
“Andante at the beginning. It builds up to be allegro around here.” He pointed out a particular measure and she nodded in understanding before putting her fingers to the keys.
Hand written notes were always a little harder to read, but his hand writing was neat enough if not a little scrunched. Her fingers drifted across the keys filling the room with the sound of his music. Yoongi thought his heart would stop. Hearing her play his music, in his home, it was like a dream, and she was as beautiful of a pianist as she was a cellist.
Her fingers danced across the keys, her attention fully on the music. It was enchanting, and Yoongi knew he had made the right decision as he watched her play.
She filled him with the desire to compose as well as an intense urge to protect her. She was such a sweet soul, and he hated that she’d been driven to this even if it brought him her. He would protect her though. He would always protect her.
When she finished she folded her hands gently in her lap.
“You play beautifully.”
She laughed smiling up at him contentedly. “You compose beautifully.” She complimented before looking down with a blushed. “It’s late. I should head home.” She stood up skirting around the piano bench.
“Stay.”
She froze looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights. “What?”
“Stay.” He repeated. “It’s late. Stay the night.”
He could see the panic setting in as her eyes darted across the room searching for an exit. “I really should…”
He huffed amused a smirk playing on his lips as he watched her. “No funny business. It was a busy day, and I’m tired. Stay.”
He watched as she debated her option her eyes flitting between him and the door. “I don’t…”
“I’d like you to stay, but you don’t have to.” He assured her slowly making his way towards her.
“Just sleep?” She asked her voice shaking slightly.
“Just sleep.”  
She waited a minute, debating her options before sighing. “Okay.”
part 6
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eadanga · 3 years ago
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Royal Love Part 3
Summary: Now 18 Eleanor heads to her first year of college and falls for a handsome musician. Can she keep her royal secret be with her true love?
A/N: This series is for @kingliam2019​​ one of my 500 followers giveaway winners
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Eleanor lays on her bed her books in her lap Ugh I hate math so much formulas well I better solve them. Her phone buzzes in her pocket she quickly answers “Hi dad”
“Hey sweetie hope I’m not disturbing you”
“No but isn’t 11pm over there? Why are you up?”
“Well someone didn’t want to go to sleep till he said hi”
Eleanor giggles “Ok ok put him on”
Alex’s bright smiling face comes up “Hi sis!”
“Hey little bro how are you?”
“Fine how’s school? Is it cool?”
Eleanor smiles “Eh it’s alright lots of work to be done”
“Oooh do you have recess like mine?”
“No I don’t I mean we can take breaks whenever the only thing cool here is the food and lots of clubs think I’ll join one”
Alex jumps up and down “Daddy I wanna go to Eleanor’s school she said they have good food!”
Liam chuckles “You can’t go to school for food son”
“But it sounds like fun Daddy”
Eleanor laughed “The work isn’t fun so much work”
“Boo work”
Eleanor giggled “Now you should get to bed”
“Nooooo I wanna talk to you more”
“You can talk to me tomorrow lil bro”
“You promise?”
Eleanor nods “Yes”
“Yay ok I’ll go to bed now”
“Good night lil bro”
Liam comes into the frame “Alright off to bed with you”
“Night daddy”
“Night my prince” Alex skips off to his room as Liam turns back to Eleanor “Glad everything is well there”
“It is dad how’s mom?”
Liam chuckles “She pasted out as soon as she hit the bed she didn’t even say good night”
Eleanor laughs “Well she is pregnant dad how much longer till”
“I think about 2 more months”
“Let me know as soon as it happens”
“I will sweetie I’ll let you get back to school”
“Ok dad have a good night”
“Same to you I love you my princess”
“Love you too dad”
Eleanor hangs up the phone and continues studying before her door swings open and Marissa runs in “Girl what are you still doing in bed get dressed the game is about to start!”
“I will just let me -”
“Oh no” Marissa pulls her out of bed “You can do that later now come on get dressed”
Eleanor giggles “Ok just let go of me!”
Marissa lets her go and grins as she runs out the door “Hurry!”
Eleanor quickly gets dressed and meets Marissa outside as they walk Marissa turns to her “Hey I heard you on the phone your mom’s having baby?”
“Yeah she is about 2 months to go”
Marissa claps her hands “Ooooh what is it? A girl???”
“Yeah”
Marissa jumps up and down squealing “Ahhhh! How cute if you need a babysitter I’m available”
Eleanor giggles “Don’t worry my dad’s gonna have plenty of nannies”
“Awwww but can I at least see her like everyday?”
“Think it maybe hard for you to get to Cordonia”
“I’ll live there then”
Eleanor laughs “What about your family back home”
“Oh you’re right they won’t like that” They arrive at the football game and take their seats in the bleachers “Oh look Cole’s already one the field and once we win you can bet there’s gonna be a party”
“How do you know we’re going to win?”
“Positive vibes bestie we are gonna win I know it and with Cole and Austin that’s our captain we’re unstoppable” Eleanor spots Cole in a huddle and he looks up at her and smiles. Eleanor blushes she turns to Marissa who smirks
“I saw that”
“Saw what? Nothing happened”
“Mmhmm so when’s your wedding”
“Marissa!” Eleanor playfully shoves her as she laughs
The Raven’s win the game beating the Eagles 21-15. Everyone runs onto the field to congratulate them. Marissa looks at the crowd “We’re not gonna get through that we’ll see them all at the party” Eleanor nods and they walk back to the dorms.
A voice calls out to them “Hey Eleanor!” They turn and see Cole running towards them
“Oh hi Cole”
“Hey did you enjoy the game?”
“Yeah it was awesome but shouldn’t you be with the team celebrating?”
“I’ll celebrate at the party” He grins “I see you made friends with this one surprised you’re able to handle her crazy self”
Marissa rolls her eyes “Oh please I’m awesome to be around right Ellie?”
“Ellie?”
“That’s my nickname for you can you I call you that”
Eleanor smiles “Sure”
“Yay” Marissa throws her hands around her neck
Eleanor giggles and pulls her off “You two know each other?”
“She didn’t tell you? We’re cousins”
Eleanor’s eyes go wide and turns to Marissa “You are?”
“Yeah but it’s not a big deal everyone has a cousin”
Eleanor laughs “Of course”
“So are you guys coming to the party?”
Marissa grabs Eleanor’s arms grinning huge “Of course we are”
Cole chuckles “I think Eleanor can answer”
Eleanor giggles “If I say no she’ll drag me there”
“You know me so well”
Cole laughs then smiles “I’ll see you there”
They head back to the dorm and get ready for the party. They head to the party and see it in full swing. Marissa grins “I love this party”
“Me too” Eleanor turns to her “So Cole’s your cousin?”
“He’s more of my big brother always been there for me another reason why I came to this school so at least I’ll have one person I know here”
Cole waves them over and they head to where he’s standing “Your drinks ladies”
“Thanks” Eleanor takes a sip “Congratulations on the win”
“Thanks but it belongs to everyone we all worked hard”
Marissa grins “I knew all those years of football paid off”
Cole chuckles “It did maybe one day I’ll go pro”
“When you do we want invites to all the Hollywood parties”
Cole laughs “Of course”
Marissa frowns “Incoming bitch”
They look and see Alyssa heading towards them “Hi Cole baby you did good tonight”
Cole grits his teeth “Thanks”
Alyssa gives him a flirtatious smile running her fingernail down his arm “So how about we go dance?”
Cole removes his hand “Alyssa stop it! We’re not together anymore!”
“But I miss you baby I know I made a mistake but -”
“It was way more than a mistake now go bother Austin or someone else long as it’s not me”
“But Cole baby”
Marissa steps forward “You heard what he said”
“Oh Marissa didn’t see you” Alyssa sneers “You still scooping out horse crap? Cause you smell horrible farm girl”
“You little”
“Don’t talk to my cousin like that”
“Oh Cole baby I know it must be a disgrace to have such a poor farm cousin. People like us don’t need to be associated with people like her”
Eleanor stepped forward “I’ll shut my mouth if I were you”
“And who are you loser?”
“Someone who has more decency and better class than you. Doesn’t matter whether her family has money or not she’s still human like us. Though I don’t think you’re a human being you’re just an insecure spoiled brat that looks down at others to make yourself seem better than anyone else when you’re not”
Alyssa fumes “How dare you talk to me like that?! You”
“Why don’t you go screech somewhere else you’re already hurting my ears”
Alyssa jabs a finger at them “You don’t want to mess with me know your place losers. Cole baby I know these losers brainwashed you but I’ll bring you back to your senses” She struts away
Cole turns to Eleanor “Wow I’ve never heard anyone talk to Alyssa like that before”
“Yeah” Marissa smiles “Thanks for everything you said”
“It was nothing there’s always people like her in Cordonia”
“You’re from Cordonia?”
“Yeah born and raised”
Cole smiles “I knew by your foreign accent you we’re from somewhere”
“Well looks like I’m not needed for this convo I’m gonna get another drink and check out the guys” Marissa winks and walks away
Eleanor rolls her eyes as she turns to Cole who smiles “So you wanna take a walk with me?”
“Of course”
They walk out the party and walk down the path to the dorms “This is nice peace and quiet away from all the drunken people and loud music”
Eleanor giggles “Yeah”
“Listen sorry about Alyssa”
“It’s fine Marissa told me she was your ex”
“Unfortunately yeah and she cheated with some guy at one of the dorm parties and yet she thinks I’ll take her back”
“Marissa said she just wants your money”
Cole sighs “Yup that’s obvious my family is very wealthy my dad’s a businessman and so is Alyssa’s”
“So you’ve known her a long time?”
“Just met her when I got to college I started dating her after we one our first game then Marissa told me she was cheating and I saw it with my own eyes broke up with her right there and then I will never get back with her I don’t date cheaters”
“I can understand”
“Should have broken up with her the minute I heard she was bothering Marissa she didn’t tell me cause she wanted me to be happy but I care about her well being too”
“Yeah she said your like her brother”
“I tried to be her own brothers are married and moved to different states so I always tried to be there for her” They reach the dorms and Cole smiles “I’ve never told anyone this thanks for listening”
“It was my pleasure and thanks for walking with me”
“Not a problem hey you wanna get coffee tomorrow?”
“Of course I’ll would love to”
“Great see you then” Cole waves then jogs off
Eleanor smiles and waves she felt heart racing What is this feeling I’m getting in my chest
Tags: @indiacater @mfackenthal @the-soot-sprite @princess-geek  @gkittylove99 @iaminlovewithtrr​  @twinkleallnight​
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song-tam · 4 years ago
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So I Wrote You A Song - Tam x Keefe
A/N: So this is finally done? I’m freaking out because this idea has been circling in my head for a while and I am so glad it is finally done! This is basically a high school!band!AU and I did headcanons about the four keeper boys being in a band here, which was kind of the inspiration to do a oneshot. Plus, I’m absolute Kam trash as well... and yes I did write an actual fucking song purely for the sake of the oneshot I’m just that extra don’t judge me and enjoy! (also let’s pretend Elwin adopted Keefe shall we, cassius sencen who?)
Warnings: I think there’s like a minor curse word in there but other than that pure kam fluff
Word Count: 1.4K
Taglist: @stardustanddaffodils @dreaminq-out-loud @sunset-telepath @summer-waves9764 @falling-drops-of-rain @jenniecrushed @jaxtheshade @beautifuldaysahead​ @bianavacker-is-bi-as-hell @the-genius-behind-the-mask​ @real-smooth @scribblesnsketches05 @the-sky-isnt-blueee @spreadyourwingsandfly @cadence-talle @linhamon2 ​ @xonar-verse​ @an-absolute-travesty​ @hershis-kotlc​ @turquoise-skyyyy​ @blxckh0les42​ @completekeefitztrash​ @gay-paladin-of-etheria​ @the-robins-chronicles @the-angel-of-all-storms
Read on AO3
“Okay, I don’t care what any of you say, but you sounded awesome!” Biana shrieked as the boys finished playing their latest song. “Best you’ve ever played, in fact.” The brunette had quickly become their biggest fan after they’d started playing for an audience, constantly stopping by rehearsals, screaming about them to everyone she met, and nominating herself Crystal Gambit’s manager--and she actually did a pretty good job; half the gigs they’d landed wouldn’t have happened without her.
“You say that every rehearsal,” Fitz grinned. “The sentiment is appreciated, though.”
“Oh, you were kind of awful,” Biana replied, “but the rest of you rocked it.”
Fitz scowled, and the others laughed, but in truth, Fitz was probably the best musician out of all four of them. Or the best singer, at least--his voice was amazing.
“But, Tam,” Biana continued, spinning around to face him, “you killed on the drums. I have no words.”
Tam gave her a small smile. If he was being honest, he never really knew what to do when Biana--or anyone really--complimented him. “Thanks, Bi.”
“And the new song you wrote,” Biana pressed, “what are you calling it again? You kept talking about it and now I’m excited so--”
“Wait,” Keefe interrupted, holding a hand out to stop Biana from rambling. “New song? What new song?”
Fitz looked just as confused as Keefe, but Dex knew exactly what Biana was talking about, and at least the periwinkle-eyed boy had the sense to save Tam from confessing. “Biana’s talking about that song Tam showed us earlier,” Dex lied. “Y’know, the work in progress. It’s a rough draft, Bi, and Tam’s only written the chorus.”
Biana caught on quickly and her eyes widened as she realized her mistake. “Oh. Oh. Yeah, for some reason I thought it was finished… um, but the chorus was great! I’m looking forward to the rest of it. Anyway, uh,” she grabbed her backpack and her brother’s arm, “Fitz and I should probably get going. Mom wants us home a little earlier today.”
“Thanks for the save,” Tam whispered to Dex as Fitz and Biana left.
Dex winked. “No problem. I know you aren’t ready to sing him the song yet.”
“Well, actually… I’m planning on confessing soon. Just not in front of an audience.”
“Well, good luck. Not that you’ll need it.”
“I’m going to need all the luck I can get, Dex.”
Dex snorted. “Come on. Everyone can see the way you two look at each other. Honestly, it’s surprising you two aren’t dating already.”
Before Tam could stammer out a response, Keefe slung his arms around both him and Dex. “Guys, don’t leave me out of this secret,” the blond pouted. “I’m lonely.”
Tam rolled his eyes, but really he was trying not to blush at how incredibly close the two of them were standing together. He was not going to think about how Keefe’s arm was around his shoulder, how Keefe smelled like vanilla, and--
Shut up, brain, Tam commanded himself.
“Shit,” Dex muttered, looking down at his watch. “You guys are gonna have to leave… Mom’s insisting that we go out for dinner, sorry...” But one look in his direction and Tam knew that Dex wasn’t the least bit sorry, that he didn’t have to go anywhere, and that this was all an act to get Keefe and Tam to be alone.
“Don’t worry about it,” Keefe said cluelessly. “Bangs Boy and I have some things to discuss.”
“Do we?” Tam cocked an eyebrow.
“Yes,” Keefe said stubbornly, dropping his arm from Tam’s shoulder and grabbing his hand instead, dragging him out of the garage and outside. “Come on, come to my house--Elwin’s making dinner, he won’t mind if there’s another person.” Keefe smiled and Tam’s heart started doing cartwheels.
Honestly, Keefe, Tam thought as he stared at their intertwined hands. I’m already in love with you, so stop making me fall even harder, goddammit.
Before he knew what he was doing, Tam pulled out of Keefe’s grip and studied his reaction. Keefe seemed fairly indifferent to it, though his brows seemed to furrow a bit… but maybe Tam was just imagining things. Maybe it was all just wishful thinking.
But… every passing touch, every soft smile. It always felt like there was something more between every glance they shared, every word they said. There was more to the two of them, more to their relationship than they were admitting.
“Since when do you have an acoustic guitar?” Tam asked as they entered Keefe’s messy bedroom.
“Well, you started learning,” Keefe said with a one-shouldered shrug. “I couldn’t let you one-up me, now could I?”
Tam rolled his eyes. “Always a rivalry with you.”
“Only with you, Bangs Boy, you’re special that way.” Keefe winked. “Anyway, what’s that song Biana was talking about? The one you haven’t shown to me and Fitzy?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Tam fibbed.
Keefe looked at him with raised eyebrows. “You’re really gonna try and hide it? Come on, dude, I know you--and I know whatever you’ve written will be even better.”
“It isn’t a song for the band, it’s… it was just something I wrote.”
“So there is a song! But even if it isn’t for an audience, or even for rhe four of us to play, I want to hear you. So,” Keefe gestured to his guitar, “can I hear it?”
Tam hesitated for a second. Was he really ready to do this? Ready to confess. Yes, he thought. I’m tired of him not knowing how I feel. I’m tired of not knowing if he feels the same.
He summoned courage, strummed the opening chords on the guitar, and started to sing.
There’s something that I’ve been meaning to say A truth I’ve been hiding for who knows how long My heart holds a secret, it’s been kept locked away And you might think it isn’t real, that I’ve got it wrong
But I think I kind of love you When I’m lost in the dark, you’re my light I know how cliche it sounds but it’s true I promise, it’s true that I love you
I know after this you might hate me And I won’t blame you if you don’t feel the same But I had to tell you, had to set these words free Because I think you like me too, so can we stop playing this game?
I think I kind of love you When I’m lost in the dark, you’re my light I know how cliche it sounds but it’s true I promise, it’s true that I love you
Why do we keep dancing around our feelings? Why do we keep pretending that this isn’t real? Because it is I know it is, and I know you know too So can we maybe just try this Try this and see where it goes?
I think I kind of love you When I’m lost in the dark, you’re my light I know how cliche it sounds but it’s true I promise, it’s true that I love you
Tam opened his eyes, watching Keefe’s expression, worried of what he might say. This is it, it’s over, a voice inside told himself, but another part said, You did it.
“Was,” Keefe said softly as he connected the dots, “was that about me?”
Tam nodded slowly, still studying Keefe’s face. “Um. Yeah, yeah it was. And… it was all true.”
Keefe shook his head dazedly, not saying anything, just staring at the floor.
“Keefe? Say something, please.”
The blond looked up to meet Tam’s eyes, and Tam gulped, wondering if this was it, when he was rejected, when his heart was broken, when--
Suddenly Keefe’s lips were on his and they were kissing and oh.
The kiss was everything. It was soft, and sweet, and filled with yearning and love and dreams and felt like fireworks. He tastes like vanilla, Tam noted.
Keefe pulled away for breath, and Tam felt a teensy bit disappointed, but that feeling was lost in the thought that Oh my God, I just kissed Keefe Sencen.
“In case you haven’t noticed,” Keefe whispered softly, “I love you too.”
Tam felt euphoric at his words, it was all he’d been wanting to hear for he couldn’t remember how long. “Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to do that?”
“Enjoyed that kiss, huh?”
“Just shut up and kiss me again, will you?”
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beautiful-and-terrible · 4 years ago
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dazed ‘n‘ confused (part 3)
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A/N: 3500 fuckin’ words y’all lmaooo i am so stupidly invested in this dumbass and his hot neighbor.
Ship: Rodrick Heffley x OFC
Warnings: underage drinking / drug usage, dubious consent (both parties inebriated), swearing, etc.
---
Nicole shouldn’t have worried so much about what to wear. When she showed up in Rodrick’s garage, his friends Ben and Chris were there, both dressed in ripped jeans and flannel shirts paired over band t-shirts. By comparison, Nicole’s black skater skirt and combat boots felt almost fancy.
“Hey, I’m Ben,” the dark-haired one holding a red electric guitar came up to her and gave her a fist bump. She almost laughed, not having fist-bumped anyone since she was 13. “Nicole,” she replied, smiling.
“I’m Chris!” the blonde called over, waving, before turning back to adjusting his microphone and checking the settings on their audio.
Rodrick seemed to appreciate her style, at least. He came through the garage door, carrying a four-pack of Monster energy and whistled, giving her a quick up-and-down glance, “Hey, groupie.”
Nicole punched his arm as he walked by. “I came here to listen to you play, so… play.”
“Your wish is my command,” Rodrick said with a dramatic bow.
Nicole found a relatively comfortable spot as far from the speakers as she could get - this wasn’t a concert, but loud speakers could still be painful after an extended period of time. The clack of Rodrick’s drumsticks alerted her, and before she knew it there was a blast of noise and a blur of limbs.
Honestly, he wasn’t bad, Nicole thought to herself after they had played a few songs. He could use a little more control, but what musician didn’t get caught up in their music? Glancing outside, Nicole saw that it was finally growing dark out. The sky had turned a soft purple, and she could see a few fireflies flashing in the cooling grass. She checked the time on her phone - 9:15.
“Hey, do you guys know Caitlin?” she asked the group. They turned to look at her.
“Caitlin Irving or Caitlin Peters?” Ben asked, taking an impressive gulp of Monster before burping loudly. The boys fell into fits of laughter. Nicole couldn’t help laughing, too.
“I don’t know her last name, she works at Starbucks, though.”
“Ohhhhhh, Caitlin! Yeah, we know her. Why?”
“She invited me to a party tonight, but I don’t really know anyone but her. Would you guys wanna be my plus-three?”
Ben and Chris high-fived each other, and Rodrick saluted her with his drumstick, whacking himself in the head in the process. Nicole hid a laugh behind her hand, not wanting to embarrass him. “For sure, Nikky. As long as there's drinks, we’ll be there,” Chris said. 
“C’mon, we can take my van,” Rodrick said, shoving his drumsticks in his back pocket and running inside to grab his keys. The other boys started down the driveway toward the white van, garishly painted with the band's name on the side in bold, black letters.
When Rodrick returned, Nicole gave him a smug look. “I thought it needed repairs?”
Rodrick stopped walking mid-stride, looking like a puppet caught on its strings. “Uh. Yeah. Well. My dad helped, when you were over at your house. Getting ready. It’s fine now. He’s the best mechanic I know.”
“Uh-huh. You sure you didn’t just… want to ride home with me from work?”
Rodrick scoffed. “You wish.” But as he rounded the front of the car to the drivers side, you caught the scarlet color of his cheeks against his tan skin. As if he could be any more endearing, he even offered Nicole shotgun. Chris grumbled the entire time, but begrudgingly gave you the seat he had worked so hard to acquire. 
“First stop - Capital. Ben has a fake, so we can BYOB,” Rodrick said, practically peeling out of the driveway. Nicole clutched the seat for dear life, heart stuck in her throat.
“Are you sure this thing is secure?” she squeaked, feeling the seat shaking a little in its bolts.
“No one has been ejected yet, Nikky,” Rodrick laughed.
“Go-go gadget get me the fuck out of here,” Nicole groaned, planting her feet on the floor to try and stop herself from flying forward as Rodrick squealed to a stop in front of a seedy looking liquor store.
Ben barely avoided taking the sliding door off its tracks when he opened the door. Chris lit a cigarette in the back, the acrid scent wafting to the front of the van. Nicole didn’t mind the smell much - honestly it reminded her of her Grandmother's house - but she hoped the smell didn’t linger on her clothes. That would be hard to explain to her mom. Speaking of, she sent off a quick text to her parents telling them that she’d be back late. Luckily, Nicole had always been the responsible type, so her parents trusted her to make good decisions and as a result, let her have free reign of her life (especially now that she was 18).
Ben returned after a few minutes, carrying a 24 pack of Natty Light and lighting his own cigarette.
“You have the address?” Rodrick asked, and you showed him Caitlins text.
“Yo, that's in Heather Hill’s neighborhood. Maybe we can tee-pee her house later,” Rodrick said, already zooming off again.
“Heather Hills?”
“Major bitch,” Chris called from the back of the van. Rodrick shrugged. “She’s not a bitch she’s just… not very nice.”
Nicole laughed, “You don’t have to defend the honor of all women by not calling her a bitch. If she’s a bitch, I believe you.”
Rodrick looked at you out of the corner of his eye, thinking briefly.
“Yeah, she’s a stone-cold bitch. She ran over my foot once. With her car.” 
Nicole grimaced in sympathy.
“Last year, we played at her Sweet Sixteen party, and Rodrick broke her ice sculpture bust. It was awesome,” Ben said.
“Oh, so you aren’t always perfect?” Nicole teased. Rodrick flipped her off.
Soon, they pulled up in front of Caitlin’s house. Nicole could already hear loud music from outside the house, and there were rainbow strobe lights flashing in the windows. Swallowing her nervousness, she followed Rodrick, Chris and Ben up the front walkway.
As they walked in the house, Nicole was hit by the fragrant, herbal smell of weed. From far away, the music had seemed loud, but coming in the house the music seemed to vibrate her ribcage - it was something with a repetitive bass, stuff Nicole didn’t normally listen to but she enjoyed it nonetheless. She followed Rodrick further into the house, trying to find the kitchen, weaving between people dancing and couples making out.
There were people surrounding an island in the center of the kitchen, decorated with colorful bottles of liquor and sodas to mix with. Nicole spotted Caitlin talking to a tall black guy, drinking out of a red solo cup. Nicole gave her a wave, and Caitlin excitedly came over to greet her.
“Hey! I’m so glad you made it.”
“Yeah, me too. I haven’t actually ever been to a high school party.”
Caitlin’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Well, you’re gonna have one hell of a first high school party experience, girly. Let's get you a drink.”
Caitlin turned to the kitchen island and poured about four shots of rum and filled the rest with coke in a red solo cup. Nicole took a sip. She could barely tell it was spiked, so she took a few more chugs and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. 
“Do you wanna dance?” Caitlin asked, and Nicole nodded before following her back to the living room. Already, the rum was making her limbs feel looser and her brain fuzzy. She finished the rest of it in one go, enjoying the feeling of her nervousness and insecurities fading away. Nicole had never been unpopular, per say, but she tended to stay to herself and only had a few close friends at her old school, anyway. It was refreshing to feel included, and she couldn’t help feeling that this was the way her teenage years were supposed to be - loud and exciting and living moment to moment.
As they danced, Nicole swaying in place and occasionally spinning around, she couldn’t help but feeling a little awkward. Caitlin was actually a really good dancer - she knew how to move her body in all the right ways so they hit on beat with the music. Nicole envied her easy grace, but was quickly relieved when Caitlin accidentally bumped into someone, causing them to spill their drink. Nicole stifled a laugh, not at Caitlin’s expense, just at the irony of the timing. At least Nicole wasn’t the only clutz. 
They had been dancing for only a few minutes before Nicole felt a hand on her waist, making her jump slightly.
“Hey, the guys and I are gonna smoke some weed in the backyard. Do you wanna come?” Rodrick said. His voice was almost in her ear, close enough that she could hear him over the blaring music, his breath tickling her sensitive skin. 
She turned around to face him - in the dim light of the house, he looked much more appealing than usual - she hadn’t even noticed he had put eyeliner on, but it made the dark of his eyes look even more obsidian. Nicole nodded, giving a thumbs up, and pulled Caitlin along with her.
“I need you for moral support,” Nicole said, making Caitlin laugh.
“Have you ever smoked weed before?” Caitlin asked.
“Nope.”
Caitlin raised her eyebrows and pulled her closer as they walked to whisper in her ear.
“Okay, take a small hit the first time, don’t try to impress anyone. But breathe it fully into your lungs - I like to start by pulling it into my mouth first, and then inhaling fully. And if you cough, don’t worry, almost everyone does their first time.”
Nicole gave her a grateful look as they approached the circle of people sitting on lawn chairs in the backyard. Ben and Chris were already there, with two other girls Nicole didn’t know. However, there seemed to only be two more lawn chairs available to sit on.
Nicole was about to plop down on the grass before Caitlin grabbed her hand.
“You should sit on Rodrick’s lap,” she whispered, and Nicole almost choked on her drink.
“What?” 
“Dude, he’s totally into you - I don’t know what your sitch is, but I think he’s probably a little nervous about making the first move. Just do it, and if he asks, say ‘sorry, there weren’t enough seats and I don’t wanna get bug bites from the grass.”
Nicole stared at her, mouth agape. The alcohol in her brain was telling her it might not be the worst idea ever. And you know what? Fuck it. You’re only young once. Nicole made up her mind, and squeezing Caitlin’s hand, she walked over to where Rodrick was sitting before primly making herself comfortable on his thigh.
She felt him tense beneath her immediately, before his hand came up to her waist to steady her. Before he had the chance to say anything about it, the joint was passed to him, and he took an impressive hit, the cherry glowing red at the end for several seconds. Nicole watched him with interest, hoping she wouldn’t mess up too badly and embarrass herself. 
Rodrick looked up at her as he exhaled the smoke, holding the joint out to her. Not paying attention, and entranced by the eye contact they were holding, she reached out to take the joint without looking and promptly burned her hand on it.
“Fucker,” she hissed, shaking her hand to try and get rid of the pain. Rodrick just laughed.
“Do you want help?” Rodrick asked, before taking another hit of the joint. He reached up behind Nicole’s head, threading his fingers through her hair, before pulling her down close to his face, their lips inches apart. Nicole instinctively opened her mouth, half from surprise and half in anticipation of being kissed. But Rodrick simply blew a steady stream of smoke into her mouth, - their lips didn’t make contact. Belatedly, Nicole realized she was supposed to be inhaling, so she did quickly, trying to hold the smoke in her lungs for as long as possible. 
Somebody wolf-whistled in the group. Nicole was pretty sure it was Caitlin.
Eventually, she ended up coughing it out, Rodrick rubbing her back but still laughing.
“You’re a green at the green, huh?” Rodrick asked, and Nicole rolled her eyes.
“That obvious?”
“Yeah, but it’s cute. I’m glad you’re having your first high with me,” Rodrick said, smiling sweetly. Nicole’s stomach fluttered. Already, she could tell that this wasn’t alcohol she was feeling anymore - the buzz she had been feeling earlier was replaced by something much slower and velvety, like the world was moving through maple syrup.
“Dude,” Nicole said after a minute, realizing she had been staring at nothing. Rodrick looked at her. She looked at him. They both started cracking up laughing.
“What are we laughing at?” Nicole hiccuped through her laughter.
“No idea,” Rodrick said, wiping his eyes free of tears of mirth.
“Rodrick, pass the J,” Ben called out, breaking the two of them from their trance. Without thinking about it, Nicole leaned back onto Rodrick’s chest, enjoying the warmth of his body. It wasn’t a cold night, per say, but Nicole was only wearing a skirt and a t-shirt, and she had always had poor circulation. She shivered involuntarily.
“Do you want my flannel?” Rodrick asked, already taking it off. Nicole sat up, ruffling his hair playfully.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you just want to show off your arms,” Nicole said, slipping on the warm blue flannel and resting her hand on Rodrick’s exposed arm, once again in a cut-off tank top. Rodrick gave her a funny look.
“What do you mean?”
Nicole suddenly found herself tongue tied. “Uh. I mean. You just wear a lot of tank tops.”
Rodrick raised an eyebrow, but said nothing else. Nicole leaned back against him again, feeling simultaneously self-conscious and exhilarated. They had never touched for this long before. She wasn’t sure exactly what was happening between them, but she liked the direction it was going. Even though they hadn’t known each other long, Nicole felt more comfortable with Rodrick than she did anyone else - even though most of the time she had known him, he had been a nuisance to her. Well… maybe not a complete nuisance.
It was funny to think that only a few days ago, Rodrick was just an annoyance she dealt with at her job and admired from afar, and now she was sitting on his lap, wearing his flannel. She leaned her head back, looking at the stars. She hadn’t noticed that Caitlin had left, but suddenly she appeared over her line of vision, grinning.
“Do you want a beer?” she asked, holding a cold can over Nicole’s forehead. Nicole reached out to take it, sitting up before cracking it open. She wasn’t in the habit of enjoying beer for the flavor, so she’d rather get drunk off it quickly. It tasted like wet cardboard, but Nicole managed to chug it down.
“Damn, girl, where’d you learn to drink like that?” Chris asked, laughing as Nicole belched loudly. 
“Years of rigorous practice and intense concentration, young padawan,” Nicole replied.
“Do you wanna shotgun one with me?” Chris asked, half-joking, but Nicole was feeling overly confident from the buzz she was feeling and readily stepped up to the challenge.
“Whoever spits it out owes the other ten bucks.”
“Fuckin’ deal,” Chris grinned, Ben cheering him on as he threw a beer toward Nicole. She (surprisingly) caught it.
“Wait, gimme one,” Rodrick said, making grabby hands in Ben’s direction, who threw him a beer.
“On three, okay?” Ben counted. They all started to crack open their beers, Nicole with her house keys, Rodrick with his car keys, and Chris with his pen knife.
“One.. twoooooo…. Three!” Ben yelled, and they all tipped their heads back, drinking from the hole in the side of the can. Nicole’s eyes watered, but she was too competitive to back down now. Foam spilled out of the side of her mouth, but she kept drinking. She could hear people chanting her name as she finally threw the beer can down on the ground, raising her hands in victory. Both Rodrick and Chris were covered in beer foam, but Nicole somehow stayed relatively clean, minus the beer she wiped off her face.
“Ten motherfucking bucks, Chris,” Nicole slurred slightly, grinning at him as he pulled out a crumpled bill from his pocket and threw it at her. 
“Rodrick, how the fuck did you lose, dude? You were the one who taught me how to shotgun,” Ben said, causing Nicole to throw her head back in laughter, before letting out another massive burp that lasted for several seconds. The whole group dissolved into laughter. 
Eventually, the joint got finished, and people started to move back inside. However, Rodrick and Nicole stayed outside, talking about whatever came into their heads.
“Were you ever into Greek mythology as a kid?” Nicole asked, watching Rodrick’s eyes go comically large.
“Does Percy Jackson count?”
Nicole pretended to consider it deeply for a moment, before shaking her head. Rodrick pouted. 
“I only got into Greek mythology because of Percy Jackson. So, I think it still counts.
“Fine. But do you know shit about the constellations they’re associated with?”
Rodrick pointed at the sky, at a random cluster of stars.
“For sure - that's Dingus Humongus, he was a Greek hero with the fattest ass known to man.”
“Sounds like my kinda guy,” Nicole replied, sticking her tongue out as Rodrick squawked in indignation.
“Besides a fat ass, what do you look for in a guy? Not, like, that I care. Just. Wondering.”
“Very good English, Rodrick,” Nicole laughed, “I guess my type is… someone kind. And funny. Someone who tries to be cool and is actually a huge dork. And musical, that's always a plus,” she said, feeling very bold as she looked directly at him. It took Rodrick a moment, but eventually his mouth formed a small “oh” as he realized who she was talking about. His eyes flicked down to her lips. Then he frowned, “I am not a dork.”
Nicole rolled her eyes, “And I’m totally not waiting for you to kiss me right now.”
Nicole watched as the color slowly rose in Rodrick’s cheeks, turning them rosy pink, visible even in the shadow-drenched backyard. Nicole decided to pull yet another risky move, and adjusted herself on Rodrick’s lap so that she was facing him, her thighs on top of his arms around his neck. For such a seemingly confident boy, Rodrick seemed more nervous than she had ever seen him, even when he asked her to come to band practice earlier. Hell, he hadn’t even been that nervous to shotgun the joint into her mouth.
“Sorry, I just… I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. I don’t wanna be bad at it,” he confessed. Just as Nicole thought she couldn’t be any more endeared by this boy. She slid her hands into his hair, thick and soft. She leaned in and gently nosed at his jawline, placing small kisses against his warm skin. Right at his jugular, he smelled like cologne and nighttime and boy, the right mix of clean and sexy. Seemingly gaining his courage, he grabbed Nicole by the back of her head and brought her up to his lips.
It was soft, at first, merely a press of skin to skin, but the two gradually deepened the kiss, moving against each other like they were made for it. Nicole felt like her heart might beat out of her chest - or maybe she was just that high.
Feeling emboldened by Rodrick’s enthusiasm, she slipped her tongue between his lips, gently tangling their tongues together. He let out a low moan, and Nicole could’ve blacked out from how turned on she was by that simple sound. The warmth of his body against hers and the slickness of their mouths together caused a rush of liquid heat to form between Nicole’s legs. Goddamn, he was good at this. Nicole wasn’t sure how many girls Rodrick had kissed before this, but if he was a rookie at this she was damn impressed.
Rodrick’s hands, which had been resting on her waist, slowly moved down her ass and under her skirt, causing Nicole to gasp as he started to knead and grab at her cheeks - not hard, but enough to get her even more hot and bothered than she thought possible.
“Is this okay?” Rodrick asked, his voice low and rough. 
“Yeah, I’m good,” Nicole replied, running her fingers through his hair and scratching her nails down his neck. She felt him shiver beneath her, sending a heady rush of power to her stomach and lower. He pulled her closer to him by her ass, so that their crotches pressed together. Nicole was taken aback by the sensation of his bulge pressed against her, but didn’t pull back, instead grinding down on him.
“Are there still people out here?” Rodrick asked shakily. Nicole pulled back and looked over her shoulder - the backyard was empty, thank god.
“No, just us,” Nicole said, turning back and bringing her lips to his ear, biting and licking the sensitive flesh. Rodrick whimpered, grinding up to meet her, and Nicole almost lost it then and there.
The alcohol and weed in her system were slowing her reactions, but also kept her from thinking too much about what she was doing - all she could think about was how much she wanted this. Sober, this might’ve never happened - she was too nervous about what he would think if she ever made a move, constantly overthinking her every word and action. This dumb boy, who rode with her to work, who stayed to the end of her shift and bought her slushies, had wiggled his way into her every thought and every beat of her heart. She knew she was fucked.
She only wished it was literally.
Nicole opened her eyes briefly to catch Rodrick’s gaze, and out of the corner of her eye she glimpsed the red-and-blue flash of police lights. Rodrick caught sight of the lights at the same time.
“Oh, fuck.”
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catgrump · 4 years ago
Note
Hello! I love your work, I was wondering if you wanted to write Leobuki with the prompt “I knew this was a bad idea”
Thank you so much!
How have I never thought of this ship before?
Let’s go let’s go!!! Chaotic Punk Rockers!
Non Despair AU where these two are adults auditioning for a talent search/talent competition! Enjoy 💛
🌻🌻🌻
“I knew this was a bad idea I knew this was a bad idea,” Leon was muttering the phrase over and over again as he clutched the neck of his guitar that sat across his lap and tapped his foot on the tile floor incessantly
And then he heard the clanging of metal on metal beside him. He looked to his right and saw a girl sitting down in a (rather sick) colorfully punk outfit with matching hair holding a keytar. The chains on her belt must’ve made the noise as she sat down.
She was looking at him with a soft, somewhat eerie smile.
“Can I help you?” Leon asked, unsure if he wanted an answer
“Ibuki sensed distress!”
Her voice rang out like the welcome bell over a shop door. He’s been in the presence of this girl for like five seconds and he’s already... oddly intrigued. “Is that you?” Leon asked, “Ibuki?”
“Yessir; you’re a good guesser.” Her smile hasn’t left her face. The contrast of her black lipstick and white teeth was... endearing?
Well, Leon would be lying if he said he didn’t think Ibuki looked cool as hell. Pink and blue and white streaks were scattered in organized chaos throughout her long black hair; she was covered in studded, spiked, and chained accessories; her makeup was intense, yet subtle; and she had a chain of piercings trailing under her lip.
Leon’s tongue pressed against the backing of his own labret piercing, thinking about how he doesn’t think he could handle more than one there. She must be hardcore.
“So what’s up?” Ibuki asked with a pep in her pipes, then gasping, quickly straightening her posture, and answering her own question with another question, “Are you nervous about the audition??”
“Heh, you’re a pretty good guesser, too,” Leon nervously tried to flirt; why did he think THAT was a good idea when he’s already on edge?
“Do you wanna know Ibuki’s advice?”
His foot tapping has transitioned to leg bouncing as he replied, “Sure.”
“It’s not an audition at all!”
“Hah, what?”
“If you tell your brain it isn’t an audition, and you’re just playing at home like you would normally, or you’re playing for a crowd— whichever is easier for you; I know Ibuki prefers a crowd— nerves just POOF! Disappear!”
“Easier said than done,” Leon said, trying to keep his cool. She’s cute and giving him attention; he doesn’t want to pass up an opportunity for a potential phone number.
But his brain is having trouble keeping up this facade. Normally if he’s actively trying to pick someone up, he can focus all his attention on trying to impress the person he’s talking to, but the more he talks with Ibuki while trying to hold his head up high, the more he feels like he’s going to pass out. Especially because, “I’ve never actually performed for a crowd before.”
“Wooooaaahhh that’s cuckoo bananas!” Her eyes almost had actual stars in them, “You must have some serious balls to make your first performance a talent competition!”
“Hah, I guess so—“
“But I totally get why you’re nervous! You’re super duper totally allowed to be. Ibuki was in her first talent competition when she was ten, and she was nervous as all hell.”
“How long ago was that?— if you don’t mind me asking,” Leon looked at Ibuki and thought she had to be at least his age
“A little over a decade!”
She is his age. And she’s been performing since she was in grade school.
Leon only recently discovered he could try to make a career in music, and one of his insecurities is feeling like he has to catch up to everyone else.
Suddenly, a stage manager with a clipboard appeared from behind the big push-bar doors, “Number 37?”
“Oh, that’s me,” Leon practically coughed out
“You’re on deck,” the stage manager added before going back inside
“How are you feeling?” Ibuki asked, leaning in
“If I’m being honest; lightheaded,” Leon tried to play it off as a joke, even though it was the truth.
“Let me get you some water!” Ibuki declared, springing up from the bench and swinging her keytar across her back before darting off
“Ibuki, wait—“
But it was too late. She was already bouncing down the hall, determined to reach her destination.
“Dammit,” Leon muttered, keeling his head forward
Talking with her was a nice distraction. Now, all he can think about is that he’s up next to audition.
By the time the stage manager came back to bring Leon into the audition space, Ibuki hadn’t returned.
Leon tried not to worry too much, thinking it would distract him in a bad way.
But he couldn’t help but think of Ibuki when he approached the microphone and said, “Hi, my name’s Leon Kuwata, and this is an original piece called ‘Under the Bleachers’,” and imagined himself alone in his apartment as he played the chords and sang.
And he got to finish the entire song. He was expecting to get cut off, but he sang the whole thing.
He was brought back to reality when one of the people on the panel who were watching started asking him about the piece, “When did you write that?”
Leon talked about how he drafted it in high school— it was originally a poem he wrote for a class assignment— and reworked it into music after going through a breakup.
The panel all at least seemed interested in his story, too, “Well, thank you for sharing, Leon,” one person said, “We’ll be in touch.”
Leon thanked the panel members and left with a smile on his face.
When he walked back into the hallway, there was Ibuki, sitting on the edge of the bench, holding a bottle of water whose condensation was dripping onto her ripped tights. She stuck to her word.
“You were so good, Leon!” She said with a grin, bouncing as she sat, the water in the bottle jostling inside.
“You could hear?” Leon asked, feeling heat creep to his face as he heard her say his name.
“Yeah! I came back and saw you were gone, so I pressed my ear to to door to snoop,” she laughed, “We have totally different styles, but I’d love to jam sometime! It’s fun to get new flavors in every now and again.”
“You would?”
“Abso-tively!” She beamed, then continued, “It’s like Absolutely and Positively had an affair and made a baby.”
Leon laughed, unsure what to make of her. She’s odd, and unapologetic about it. She’s confident enough to have been performing for over ten years. She’s honest and upbeat.
He definitely has a crush.
But would someone as cool as Ibuki want to take a chance on some shmuck like Leon?
She at least seems like she wants to be friends, and Leon would be happy with that.
“If we’re gonna jam sometime, then,” Leon stepped a bit closer and took his phone out of his pocket, “How about I get your number?”
“Sure!” Ibuki was still smiling, and caught Leon off-guard when she pulled her phone out from the waistband of her tights.
They swapped phones and exchanged numbers. Leon paused typing his in to look at her, bouncing her head rhythmically to the tapping of her thumbs on his phone’s screen.
She’s cute. She’s cute and she’s cool and she’s also a musician and Leon can’t believe he was lucky enough to meet her.
Even if he doesn’t get in the show, one good thing came out of today.
When she handed him his phone back, he read the full name of that person— the one definite good thing to come from today— illuminated on the screen: “Ibuki 🤪🖤🎸 Mioda”
If you enjoy my work, you can buy me a Ko-Fi 💛 Fics will always be free; this is just an additional way to support me!
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Note
Fic prompt: Reggie x Luke, Reggie fidgets with an untied tie Luke has on
Hello There! This ask came a while ago and I have been unfortunately busy :/
Regardless! I hope you enjoy this little ficlet I wrote for you. You can read it below the cut or you can click the link here to read it on AO3. Enjoy!
All up in Knots
Pairing: Luke/Reggie
Tags: Fluff, weddings, established relationship, background Willex
Summary:
Reggie is a little worried about messing up Alex and Willie's big day. Luke is here to reassure him though.
“Reggie,” Luke said in fond exasperation. “Alex has known me since kindergarten and you since middle school. I think he’s probably got a contingency plan for every possible disaster we could accidentally cause.”
“But what if he misses something?” Reggie wrung his hands out as he paced the room. “What if we do something so bad he hates us forever for ruining his wedding?” 
Luke knew that he should be giving Reggie and his panic his complete attention, but he was pretty preoccupied. The sight of his boyfriend all dressed up, a dark red tuxedo paired a black collared shirt and a cream white tie. His hair was neatly slicked to the side and there wasn’t a wrinkle in sight on him. The very picture of a perfect gentleman. 
It took every ounce of self-control Luke had to not go over there and see how quickly he could ruin that image.
“I doubt we can cause a problem nobody has planned for,” Luke tried reassuring him. 
Reggie flashed him a scathing glare. “You can’t possibly know that.”
“Try me.” Luke leaned back against the wall, sticking his hands in his pockets.
His boyfriend arched an eyebrow, ready to rise to the challenge. “We knock over a candle and set the curtains on fire.”
“After the last time we did that? One of the first things Alex did was ban candles for the centerpieces.”
“I mess up my best man speech for Willie.”
“He’ll just make a joke about us being disaster gays.”
Reggie huffed in frustration. “Well, what if I get drunk and start stripping again?”
“Well," Luke drawled, "I certainly won’t complain about seeing that.” 
“I...What? You can’t just- Luke!”
Luke smiled wide as his boyfriend flushed red and started sputtering in indignation. Luke smiled and walked over towards home slowly, raising his hand to cup his cheek. He stroked Reggie’s jawline with his thumb and leaned in for a chaste kiss, effectively cutting off Reggie’s ramble.
“Look sweetheart,” Luke said gently. “We both Carrie and Flynn are going to get into an argument again, Julie is going to hog the piano for so long that the hired musician will get wasted, and Willie’s creepy uncle Caleb will get sloshed and ramble about how he was meant to be a star. And you know what?” 
Luke paused his speech with another short kiss. “Alex and Willie are so blissfully and ridiculously in love, that all they are going to think about is that they are just more fond memories to look back on.” 
Reggie relaxed marginally. “I guess you’re right.”
“I usually am,” Luke grinned.
Reggie rolled his eyes, “god you don’t need a bigger head than you already do.”
“Too late.” Luke winked as Reggie rolled his eyes again.
“Well okay Mr. Smartypants,” the brunette said in fond annoyance. His eyes flickered down towards Luke’s neck. Luke watched as his hands reached out for his neck in mild interest, Reggie’s calloused fingers wrapping around his untied tie.
“Whatcha doin there?” Luke teased.
“Well.” Reggie shrugged as he skillfully tied the knot around Luke’s neck. “Everything is gonna go to hell, but at the very least I can stop your all-knowing ass from walking into the ceremony looking like Castiel.”
“Sweetheart, you know I don’t watch that show.” Luke reminded him.
“You aren’t missing much honestly,” Reggie admitted, “the ending kinda sucked.” 
Reggie finished tying the knot, hands lingering on the tie. Slowly his fingers wrapped around it, effectively holding Luke in place. He looked up from the tie through his lashes in a way that was borderline suggestive.
Although he knew it was coming, Luke still let out a soft ‘oof’ of surprise as Reggie used the tie to pull him close, slamming their lips together. Luke groaned and leaned into the kiss, feeling Reggie’s lips move against his with gentle but insistent pressure. He tasted like mint toothpaste and something that was wholly and completely Reggie. 
Luke barely got the chance to properly reciprocate before Reggie pulled back, far too soon. Luke let out a disappointed grumble. Brown eyes twinkled up at him mischievously, knowing exactly what he had done.
“We should get going,” Reggie sounded just a little breathless, even though his expression was smug. “Don’t want to be late.” He reached out his hand for Luke who immediately reached forward to twine their fingers together. Reggie reached out for their keys and wallets and made his way towards the door.
Luke wasn’t about to let him win though. He slid on an impassive face and Reggie and him opened the front door. “You know, I think I know why you were so concerned about Alex being mad at us for ruining his wedding.”
“Oh yeah,” Reggie asked absentmindedly, fumbling through his key chain for the car key. “Any why’s that?”
“Cause you know he’ll pull just as much crap in revenge at our wedding.” Luke’s heart was pounding in his chest as he calmly walked out the door.
“What-” Reggie choked on his breath in surprise. “Luke what are you?” Luke heard Reggie start storming towards him once he recovered.
“That is the worst proposal ever you egg. Where do you think you're going? Luke! Get your ass back over here!” Luke smiled as his boyfriend stormed after him huffing insults and annoyance at him. 
Later, during the first slow dance of the evening. Reggie will lean forward, perfect hair still intact, and whisper into Luke's ear.
"Yes, yes I will marry you."
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lady-divine-writes · 4 years ago
Text
Klaine one-shot “Artistic Differences” (Rated NC17)
Summary: Kurt and Blaine have known each other all their lives. They've loved each other almost as long. But as Blaine uses his love for Kurt as inspiration for his music, Kurt has yet to reciprocate. And since painting is Kurt's entire world, Blaine is worried about what that might mean for the two of them. (2703 words)
Notes: I had been writing this for the @klaineadvent Drabble Challenge 2020 prompt 'opinion'. I finally finished it. Wee! XD
Read on AO3.
Baby, you're not alone...
'Cause you're here with me...
And nothing's ever gonna bring us down...
'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you...
And you know it's true...
It don't matter what'll come to be...
Our love is all we need to make it through...
Blaine stops singing when he notices an echo haunting his lyrics, lingering on the high notes for longer than written. He listens with eyes closed, smiling at his keyboard. 
His boyfriend Kurt, humming behind the melody. 
Blaine has been ironing this song out for the past three hours now but Kurt hasn't complained once about the constant stopping and starting.
He never does. 
Blaine peeks over his shoulder as he continues to play with the harmonies and watches Kurt, focused on the canvas in front of him, swaying to the rhythm of the music, happily sandwiched between his two passions - art and music.
It's a mild and sunny Saturday - a whole day devoted to cleaning up commissions and tying loose ends on weekly projects before their one day off together. Blaine and Kurt share a studio space - normally unheard of for an artist and a musician, but they make it work. It helps that they've known one another for so long that being alone together is the same as being alone with themselves. That also means they get the inside scoop on what the other is working on long before the public does.
And what they're not working on, which has begun to bother Blaine.
Blaine adores everything his talented boyfriend comes up with. Even regarding his more controversial works, there isn't a thing Kurt has painted that Blaine finds objectionable. Kurt puts his heart and soul into every painting, no matter who it's for, and no matter the subject. A writer from Artforum once wrote: "Kurt Hummel goes beyond the veil to showcase not just the external, but the core of every subject - their drives and motivations. It pairs nicely with the transparency of his own soul, which shines through the gouache and the gesso to leave the viewer with a tangible piece."
And therein lies the root of Blaine's problem.
A glance at one of Kurt's canvasses and the world knows everything it needs to about what he loves.
But one subject in particular has gone wholly unrepresented.
“How come you've never painted a portrait of me?” Blaine asks.
"Hmm... what's that, love?" Kurt mutters, switching out brushes, then moving from a blob of Titanium White to a smear of Winsor Blue.
"How come you've never painted a portrait of me?" Blaine rises off his piano bench and relocates to the wooden folding chair behind Kurt's easel in the hopes of pulling his attention a bit. "You've been an artist for as long as I've known you, and I've known you your entire life. But not once have you ever painted a portrait of me."
“Why do I need to? I have you right here," Kurt says, pretending to bop the tip of Blaine's nose with his brush. "Besides, these aren’t personal." His gaze bounces between the three canvases set on easels in an arc in front of him. "They’re bought and paid for.”
"But what about your private stuff? You've shown me your sketchbooks and your digital art files. Unless you have some hidden folder marked 'secret boyfriend art' that I've yet to come across, there's not a single piece of me in any of your work."
Kurt doesn't steer his gaze away from the apple he's adding highlights to to acknowledge his pouty boyfriend, but the corner of his mouth hitches. "If you say so, dear."
"I know so," Blaine grumps, crossing his arms over his chest and dropping back in the chair so hard he nearly topples it over.
"That's your opinion."
"You're evading."
"Is it really so important to you?"
"Yes! It would be nice to be immortalized by my artist boyfriend!"
Kurt snickers. "Are you that much of a narcissist?"
"Your art is important to you! More than that - it's your life! You paint everything that you love! You've made dozens of paintings of Finn, your father, your mother, your Navigator... "
"My Navigator is my baby. It deserves love. I don't get to drive it much living in the city," Kurt defends. "Besides, those paintings I posted on Instagram landed me a huge contract with Lincoln, and that paid for our month-long tryst to Bali. You're welcome, by the way."
"I'm not saying I'm not grateful... " Blaine pauses, the smile on his face a souvenir from thirty straight days of overindulgence in sex and alcohol. "I think I more than proved that on that private beach? Under the moonlight?"
"Yeah, you did," Kurt growls, silently hoping that will be the end of this discussion.
"But... " Blaine picks up and Kurt's heart sinks.
No luck.
"... nowhere am I present in your work. Not that I've seen. Not even in the abstract. And that makes me think... " 
"Think what?" Kurt mutters, his playful attitude fading the longer this conversation drags on.
Blaine sighs, realizing how much like a spoiled toddler he sounds. But he's in too deep to stop now. "That you don't expect me to be around long."
Kurt's snicker turns into a full-blown chortle. "We've been together forever! You staked a claim on me in kindergarten! Are you suddenly going somewhere?"
"Can't you take this seriously?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it's ridiculous!"
Blaine huffs. "Great. So my feelings are ridiculous."
"No, Blaine, your feelings are valid. This argument is ridiculous. Believe it or don't, you don't know everything about me. Or my work. What does it matter what I put on a canvas? I told you that I love you! That I would always love you! I tell you over and over and over! Those are my words! My truth! Listen to my truth!"
"B-but what if you change your mind?" Blaine grimaces when that toddler inside him begins throwing an all-out tantrum.
"Then I change my mind!" Kurt groans, slamming his free hand down on an open tube of Dandelion Green, sending a thick ribbon of paint a good four feet. "I'm allowed to change my mind! And so are you! But I don't see that happening!"
"Then why won't you marry me?"
Kurt pulls a face, probably without thinking about it. "Because I'm not very fond of marriage."
"Why not? Your parents had a great marriage! And your father has a wonderful second marriage!"
"But your parents don't have a very good marriage, do they? Nor your older brother, who's been divorced twice already! " Kurt argues, frustration causing him to forget himself and clean his stained hand on the untucked hem of his shirt instead of a rag. That should be a huge red-flag for Blaine to back down, yet he doesn't. Common sense? Sorry, don't know her. "And the national average isn't that great, either. Doesn't it mean more that I choose to stay with you instead of feeling obligated to?"
Blaine doesn't have an answer for that, even though the answer is obviously yes. Of course, it does. And in high school, that would have been enough to shut Blaine up. But admitting to that feels too much like conceding, and this one time, this is an argument he wants to win. "Did you hear that song I've been working on?" Blaine asks, switching gears so quickly, it puts Kurt on edge.
"Yes," Kurt replies, his voice becoming tight quickly. "It's lovely."
"I wrote it for you."
"Thank you. It sounds wonderful. Another huge hit in the making."
"It's the 15th song I've written in your honor."
"Wow," Kurt says dryly, predicting the direction this is heading. "That many?"
"Yes."
"Well, that's an incredibly kind and loving gesture, one that I didn't know required reciprocation."
"It doesn't require reciprocation. But it would be nice."
Kurt rolls his eyes at Blaine's agenda. Tit for tat. Is that how this is supposed to work? "From what I remember, those songs made you a pretty penny."
"So?"
"So, it's not like you wrote them for me and kept them between us. Most of those songs are chart-toppers."
"But I didn't release them for the money! I wouldn't care if they didn't make me a dime! I put them on the albums because I'm not afraid to let the world know how I feel about you!"
Kurt's brow furrows as he fights through a blooming headache to decode that declaration. Once he gets it, he gasps. "I'm not hiding you away if that's what you're implying! You go with me EVERYWHERE! Every gallery opening, every art show! There have been articles written about our relationship! You're no dirty little secret!"
"I never said I was."
"No?" Kurt chuckles bitterly. "You're sure implying it a great deal!"
"That's not what this is about."
"You're right. It's not. Blaine!" Kurt tosses his brush into a mug of water and starts pacing the floor. "I am a gay artist walking a very fine line."
"I'm a gay artist, too!" Blaine says, offended.
"But you're a musician. And a songwriter. Musicians are supposed to use love as their muse. Writing about your relationship is expected... unless you're Taylor Swift, apparently."
"Yeah. What's up with that?"
Kurt shrugs. "I don't know. The point is that the second I make a piece of art about our relationship in any way, shape, or form, I'm afraid that's all it will be about, no matter what I intend."
"Isn't art supposed to be subject to interpretation?"
"That's just it! If I hint that my art has anything to do with you, that will become the only interpretation. Because too many straight people see the homosexual experience as solely about the right to fuck who we want to fuck and nothing else. I make a portrait about you or dedicated to you, and after that... " Kurt's eyes leave Blaine's face, scanning the room and his canvasses all around for help making his argument. He finds a painting of a forest they hiked through in Bali and stops there "... a tree that I paint will no longer be just a tree. It will become a symbol. In a forest of evergreens, if one needle is slightly browner than the rest because the paint oxidizes weirdly or whatever, then it'll be about you and me on the skids and nothing else. And I don't want that to happen."
Blaine turns in his chair to find the painting Kurt is staring at. On the surface, it's trees, dirt, and sky, but underneath, it's much more than that. That painting of their beloved paradise is perfection - so much so that he can feel the sun on his face, the breeze kissing his cheek, smell the sunscreen on his skin. "I understand what you're saying, but... "
"But?" Kurt grinds out between his teeth. This is the frustrating thing about arguing with Blaine. Even when he says he sees Kurt's point of view, he doesn't seem to really.
And when he's not winning, he gets dismissive.
"... I think you're overthinking things a little."
"And you're not?"
"Another evade," Blaine says, pointing at him in a way reminiscent of his brother's only acting technique.
Kurt grabs the hair at his temple and pulls to keep from flinging the palette in his hand like a frisbee at Blaine's head. "Isn't it more important that you know how I feel about you? You inspire me every day! Your love, your support, your music - they feed my soul! But do I have to plaster it on a wall to make it real?"
"That's kind of an empty question because you don't! There are no paintings of me! Not even in our apartment! And I'm sorry, but I think that's very telling!"
Kurt nods, his lips pulled taut. "You're right, Blaine. Not one. And it is very telling." He drops his palette on his work table and circles the room, grabbing finished canvases and carrying them over. He positions them purposefully, placing some under UV lights he has mounted to runners on the ceiling. 
"What... what are you doing?" Blaine asks with worry, wondering if Kurt is about to do something hasty, something that will ruin his paintings, waste all those hours of work, jeopardize the money he has yet to collect for them. 
Kurt doesn't answer. 
He doesn't even look at him. 
He works silently, his shoulders rigid, his footsteps heavy as he collects paintings Blaine forgot about, paintings that had made Blaine bristle because they were of places they had been to together, things they had made a point to see only with each other, but not a one included him. Those Kurt flips upside down.
He swipes a squeeze bottle of clear liquid from his army of supplies. It could be water. It could be paint thinner. Blaine doesn't know, but he's not certain he wants to find out. He's about to leap off his seat to stop him, but Kurt switches off the overhead lights, turns on the UVs, and Blaine stops. He watches in horror as Kurt douses the flipped canvases in fluid, but the paint doesn't run. Whatever is in that bottle, it sticks, but only in certain areas, and before it dries completely, Kurt dusts the paintings with a fine powder, one that brings hidden images to life beneath the lights.
“Oh my God,” Blaine mutters, stepping back to get a better look.
Every painting, in one way or another, is of him. Of them. And not just recently. There are images of them from college, high school... middle school. There are profiles of Blaine in the negative space between flowers of one painting, and in the clouds of another. A fluorescent image of teenaged him playing guitar to a silhouette of Kurt sitting beside him. There are shadows of them dancing, singing, even a daring one of them making love up against a wall. 
And the flipped landscapes? Their vacation pictures, as it were? The glowing dust reveals portraits hiding in plain sight, painted upside down and invisible to the naked eye. All of these images, Kurt painted in ways where no one would detect them if they weren't looking for them. If they didn't know they were there.
And they are in every. single. one.
Now that he's seen this, it's safe to assume all of Kurt's works carry similar Easter eggs, even paintings long gone.
"Why... why didn't you tell me about this?" Blaine asks, too stuck on stupid to move, walk from painting to painting and examine them properly.
"Why did I need to? I love you. I've told you. What else did I need to prove?"
Blaine shakes his head slowly, ashamed of himself. What an imbecile he is! Kurt is absolutely right. He loves him! He didn't need to prove it! The hurt Blaine felt - that was on him. It wasn't Kurt's responsibility to fix it. There isn't a day that goes by where Kurt doesn't show his love to Blaine in one way or another. Blaine didn't need this. He really didn't.
And right now, he doesn't feel he deserves it.
On a side note, how wrapped up in his own crap has he been that here, in this space that they share, where proximity has forced Kurt to memorize every song Blaine has been writing for his latest album while he paints, that he never realized just how frickin' talented his boyfriend is!?
"Kurt... " Blaine finally finds the strength to take a step forward, drawn to that ghostly image of them making love. It's a simple shadow of the moment, but it evokes a powerful memory "... these are incredible. How did you... ?" Blaine expects an answer before he can finish. Kurt is rarely shy about discussing his work.
Though Blaine should use this opening to his advantage - apologize since those should have been the first words out of his mouth.
But he gets nothing.
"Kurt?" Blaine looks over his shoulder in search of his boyfriend, ready to make amends. 
But Kurt is gone.
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