#you: ask a question. me: responds with conspiracy theory.

[tirkdi]

Do you think it is possible that Darkling knew that alina would lose her powers because of the three amplifiers and he would be there so he would get those powers?

It's an interesting question, but I don't think so. There's a technical aspect here, which is that he did not get her power, only otkazat'sya did, so on that level if he'd known how the amplifiers actually worked he would have known he wouldn't get it. But that aside: more than anything, he wanted someone to suffer eternity alongside him, and when he lost his mom, Alina was the only other option. He was bereft when she lost her power. He would never have sacrificed a companion for more Grisha power; he would never have let her sacrifice that.

Additionally ... I do not see him as particularly wanting more Grisha power for himself. I view him as pragmatic, or at least thinking of himself as such – if Alina wasn't going to cooperate with his plans, controlling her power was the easiest thing. If he'd wanted more Grisha power, he would have tried the amplifier trick long ago.

Related conspiracy theory time: my headcanon here is that he believes himself to be close to the limits of Grisha power – he's a powerful Grisha and an amplifier, and he lives sooooooo much longer than anyone else except Baghra. The two of them are far, by far, the most powerful Grisha in the trilogy. Because we are told over and over again that the only thing that can kill immortal Grisha is their own power, my headcanon is that he's never tried getting an amplifier (or risked connecting to one like he does with Alina) for fear that the sheer volume of power would push him past some invisible threshold of power that his body can hold, and kill him.

[thrillered]

"You Know I Mountain Dew It For Ya" | Spencer Agnew x Reader | Pt. 6

Pt. 6: the pod

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You sat at the smosh mouth desk, sipping on a mountain dew kickstart that you stole from Spencer. You figured if you were going to talk about your song you should have mt dew, as fanservice. The crew was finalizing camera settings and waiting for Amanda and Shayne. 

“This kinda sucks” You said, taking another sip of your drink. 

“Ouuu, i’m gonna tell spencer.” Kiana teased. Earning an eye roll from you.

After a few minutes everyone was ready to record. “Hello everyone and welcome back to Smosh Mouth, I’m Shayne.” 

“And I’m Amanda. And today we have a very very special guest, all the way from big hollywood and the desk around the corner from mine, Y/N” 

“Big Hollywood wow” You laughed. 

“You have skyrocketed in fame.” Shayne comments. 

You sighed deeply, “Yeah…” 

“Uh Oh, that doesn’t sound good.” Amanda responds. 

“No no It’s really awesome it’s just been different, I guess.” You began, “I’ve been in the public eye for quite a while now but, obviously, never like this.”

“Let’s rewind a little,” Shayne interjected, “you guys know Y/N, she’s been with Smosh for years now. At this point, dare I say, one of the most loved cast members.”

“Oh stop it.” You giggled.

“Well it’s true, everyone loves you. Especially me.” Amanda jokes.

“I can see the fan edits already. Wait, we need to stare at each other longingly.” You piled on. 

“Anyway,” Shayne laughed, “What a lot of people don’t know, well not anymore, is that you are a musician as well.” 

“Yes, I’ve been writing music my entire life but I started producing my music about a year before I joined Smosh. I got much more serious about it thanks to Josh, shoutout josh.” You explained. “I have a stockpile of songs, I’ve only released a few though.” 

“You have two albums out right?” Amanda asked.

“Yeah I have two albums, three EPs, and three singles, the newest being everyone's favorite Espresso.”

You continued bantering, answering questions and talking about your career. You enjoyed how much both Shayne and Amanda cared about what you had to say, being able to deepdive into some of your music was a lot of fun. You even learned that Shayne listened to your entire discography over the weekend. 

“Let’s get into the juicy stuff” Amanda began, “We sent out a community post where people could ask Y/N questions so let’s get into some of those.” 

“First up is from Gianna L: What was the inspiration behind Espresso?” 

“I really just wanted to make something fun and bright. A lot of my music comes from a very vulnerable place but I’ve just been so happy that this song stems from that. I’ve felt like myself and truly I have smosh to thank for that.” You rambled, “Okay to wrap it up, Espresso was inspired by being confident and loving yourself because it makes you irresistible.”

“I actually love that so much,” Amanda smiles. 

“Yeah that type of thinking is important,” Shayne adds, “I would know, I have a psychology degree.” 

You answered some more questions regarding your creative process and your lyrics. You got to talk about how you make coffee for the whole office almost everyday in regards to the lyric: “That morning coffee brewed it for ya”. Then the inevitable happened.

“The most asked questions are about Spencer.” Shayne began, “For those of you who don’t know, Spencer is the director of the games channel and is often in videos as well.” 

“But most importantly,” You cut Shayne off, “he’s my best friend.” You finished, earning a few ‘awww’s from the room. “Believe me, I have seen the conspiracy theories and comments about “Spenspresso”-- great name by the way. And yes, some of the lyrics were inspired by my dear friend. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without him and since this song is about finding confidence I had to give a nod to my best buddy, one of the people who have always supported me and made me into the best version of myself.” 

You laughed, “I wish I could give a more juicy answer but it’s just a little thank you to my best friend. That doesn’t mean I want the edits to stop, I do love those, and the fan art. Me and Spencer send them to each other constantly.” 

You wrapped up the podcast, hoping confessing your platonic love for Spencer was enough to keep the heat off of you for a while. That is until you stare at Spencer for too long in the next games video and people clip it. 

—

“How was the pod?” Spencer asked, setting his lunch down and sitting in the chair next to you.

“It went well, It was actually so much fun to talk about myself for so long,” You jested. “You’re gonna get an ego boost out of it though.” 

“And why is that?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow and sending you a knowing smirk, the action making the tips of your ears hot. 

“Oh shut up.” You shoved his chair away playfully. He quickly scooted it back to you, even closer than before, your knees bumping each other. 

You both finished your lunches quickly, Spencer opting to head back to his desk to work. You followed him, sitting on a couch near him, scrolling through your phone until you heard a few muffled “fuck fuck fuck”s coming from Spencer. 

You got up and stood behind him looking at his monitor. “What’s wrong?” You asked. 

“Nothing, it’s just an issue with the audio of the last games video, I don’t think it’ll be able to be recovered” He responded, his shoulders tightening as he rubbed a stressed hand over his face. 

You knew Spencer worked really hard on that video, he had been so excited to have the cast play the game and now it seems like it will never see the light of day. 

“I’m sorry Spence,” you said, knowing there wasn’t much you could do to help. Noticing how tense he was you placed your hands on his shoulders and began massaging them, working at the many knots. 

He let out a low groan as you pushed into a particularly nasty spot on his shoulder. As you worked your fingers through his neck and shoulders his groans turned into sighs of relief. 

“That feel any better?” You asked, hoping you could assist your friend. 

He rolled his neck a few times, “Holy fuck, that’s actually so much better. How did you do that?” 

“I took a single massage class in college for a random credit I needed.” you replied, running your fingers through his hair as he tilted his head back to look at you. 

“You’ve gotta do that more often, I feel like I got my damn neck replaced.” He laughed. 

“You just let me know, I learned back, hands, and legs too so..” You trailed off, winking at him, relishing in the pink hue that graced his features. “Lunch is almost over, I gotta go, I’m filming ‘you posted that?’. I’ll see you later, love ya Spency”  You smiled, grabbing his hand and leaving a feather light kiss on his knuckles before walking away. 

“You are so whipped dude.” 

Spencer spun around to the source of the sound, seeing Alex Tran standing on the other side of the desks. 

“God, is it really that obvious?” Spencer questioned. 

“I wish you could’ve seen the googly eyes you were just sending Y/N,” Alex laughed, “Like, the whole office can feel the tension.” 

“It’s not tension if it’s one sided.” Spencer rebutted. 

“One sided my ass, she’s totally into you, has been forever, if I had to guess.”

Spencer thought about Alex’s words. Could you really feel the same way as him? He’s a smart guy, he knows that, so could he really have been so stupid this whole time to think you were just friends? 

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully moments from s4

in episode 1, she cracks encrypted messages, commenting that “you say ‘a twenty letter code’ to any scientist and they immediately think ‘protein amino acid sequence code’, which is what this turned out to be” <- and that is genius at work right there!!

skinner pulling her aside to ask “do you realize what you are promoting?” when she puts together there's a whole international smallpox conspiracy, and she cuts him off with a clear “i am a SCIENTIST, sir” <- that is right!! you tell him!!!

trying and failing to come up with a theory for how the photos in episode 4 became terrifying: “plus, the film is two years out of date” “oh” “the-the photographic chemistry could have changed” ��uh-huh” “the-the dyes fade… they�� alright, that’s your theory?” (had me absolutely giggling)

we also learn in episode 4 that she took german in college <3

in episode 6, she spends a great deal of time explaining the science behind sleeping pills and their controversial effects

(and i also loved her fury that such an advanced facility was being used for plastic surgery rather than life-saving care)

tearing into the culture of lawlessness while testifying in episode 9; talking about how she left the medical field to protect the innocent and punish the guilty- such an excellent moment, more of that good old fashioned scully righteous rage combined with inherent optimism- and her continuing to read her statement despite the council repeatedly cutting her off (as she should!)

choosing to be jailed rather than reveal where mulder was located, because she will do the right thing no matter the consequences (and is also just a really great friend)

((and bonus points for skinner checking up on her: “you holding up alright?” “i’ve got plenty to read”, she says, as she flips through medical texts))

“it is my natural inclination to believe they are acting in the best interest of the truth… but i am not inclined to follow my own judgment in this case” (casting aside her own optimism in the face of such corruption, understanding her personal bias and objectively putting it to the side… i admire her ability to do so)

((but still. after all she has been through, it is natural for her to believe that the government means well. it's incredible))

this exchange from episode 12: “where could he hide an adult body where it wouldn’t be found?” “i’ll show you” (cut to them sorting through the medical waste, mulder looking horrified as she casually says she needs his longer arms to sift through the body parts)

((but isn't it just great that she knew the answer to that question instantly?))

in episode 12, when she realizes that leonard betts trying to kill her means she has cancer, she responds to mulder saying she should be proud of stopping him with a quiet “i just want to go home”

(we get another "i'm going home" moment in episode 22, after their confrontation in the hallway about her fears, and the exhaustion contained in those few words could make me weep)

in episode 14, she writes letters saying goodbye to mulder, trying to convince him her inevitable death was not his fault: “and if the darkness should have swallowed me as you read this, you must never think there was the possibility of some secret intervention, something you might have done”, she wrote, knowing how he would blame himself, trying to spare his feelings of guilt even as she knew she had so little time left

later on, her nose starts bleeding while they're making an arrest; “quit staring at me, i’m fine!”, she says in the voice of someone who is deeply not fine, her helplessness inspiring a fury that thrashes about and digs its claws into everything inch of her

how she told mulder she was going to die, but insisted to her mother that she was fine- her mother is furious she didn’t tell her she was sick, shaking in fear, giving her a kiss and a hug, and saying that she is her only daughter now as they hold each other. while she can tell mulder the truth, she can't find the words to tell her mom how bad things really are

writing in her journal that she needs to draw strength from mulder, needs someone to lean on, even though she works so hard to be entirely self-sufficient; “i need to know you’re out there if i’m ever to see through this”

(contrast this with her earlier attempts to do absolutely every single thing by herself and bask in the character growth)

((but then she REJECTS what she wrote in the journal, saying that she isn’t giving up, and she has so much to prove to herself and her family- they have the conversation in the hallway that made me cry and cheer and yell and experience every emotion in between as she realizes that she is something worth fighting for))

in episode 18, she tries her best to save pendrell, telling him that “we still haven’t celebrated my birthday, pendrell; i’m not gonna let you off the hook like this” - it's the way she spent his last moments on earth trying to make him smile that gets me so emotional

later, she's having this very tense face off with skinner until he notices she was trying to hide her nosebleed; he grabs her hand and says “i have a responsibility for the safety of the agents under my supervision, agent scully. i’m not going to put another agent’s life in jeopardy just to keep her out in the field”, and she assures him she’s okay with tears in her eyes (the way he pierced through her best attempts at a stony exterior… i'm emotional)

they visit max fenig’s trailer again and she still HATED it lmao, she says “i remember being amazed at what some people will call a home”

(and then she disses the very bare hotel room they visit in the next episode, saying “i’m not sure if ‘living’ is the word i would use to describe this space” - give her all of the blankets and throw pillows, she wants a cozy house)

((this, combined with her saying "i want to go home" when she is experiencing moments of earth-shattering grief, made me realize how important to her it is that she have a nice, comfortable, safe space for herself))

smirking at her own stupid joke in episode 19; “what was he wearing, a long black robe and carrying a scythe?”

she knows the lowest temperature a human body has ever reached and survived (70 degrees) and also uses the phrase “nuclear magnetic resident spectra”, both of which made my heart skip a few beats

“okay, so this photo that was never taken, when was it never taken?” <- SEVERELY underappreciated line!!!!

in the opening of episode 20, she starts reciting facts about babies born with extra appendages in incredible detail, and i want to know so badly why she is educated on the subject. scully, please give us the story time video

she also mentions her plans to write an article on “diminished acetylcholine production in recidivist offenders” when she goes home from work. because that is how she spends her evenings, very casual. no big deal (said with great sarcasm)

her realization in episode 22 that the killer had been switching around the rings on each victim’s fingers, based on some blurry photos (it was a very good catch!)

talking to her therapist, admitting she struggles to talk about her fears, and that mulder’s passion has been a source of strength during her sickness

(we then, very briefly, see her praying in her nightgown in her apartment, before mulder knocks on the door to ask for her medical opinion. i find that shot so compelling, especially when you contrast it with her saying in the finale that she is not ready to return to the church- it must be too personal to talk about, god must be something she wants to experience on her own at this point in her life)

((and she grapples with the revelation that everyone else who had seen the spirits had been dying, knowing what it means for herself))

the way she shoots the evil nurse in the shoulder not to kill her, but to incapacitate her… scully, your aim is legendary

fun facts with scully, episode 23 edition: dostoyevsky had waxman-geschwind syndrome!

VERY FIRMLY telling mulder that he NEEDS to get to the hospital, and when he continually refuses, instead asking to go on a road trip, she agrees... ONLY on the condition that she drives!!!!

and when his terrible trauma ketamine trip culminates in him almost shooting her and himself, she manages to talk sense into him, before she rests her entire body on him, shielding him, not letting him move, weighing him down like an anchor back to reality

(her being the one taking charge in this episode even while she feels she is losing so much of her agency in her life makes me so emotional)

when mulder interrupts her family dinner in episode 24 to go on a quest for alien answers, she reminds him that this is his goal, and not hers. when he tries to convince her, she refuses to budge- it was frustrating to watch him put her in that situation, but amazing to watch her stand her ground

(and the fact that she wasn’t able to tell him her cancer was getting much worse is also so fascinating to me- why couldn't she bear to break it to him? would saying it aloud make it real?)

and of course, her tracking down the dude that shoved her down the stairs and nearly hitting him with her car (it was deeply satisfying)

[treefory]

Snorpy’s theory

768 words

And like that he was gone.

“Hello? Is anybody there? Anyone?” He called out only to get silence in return. After pouring his feelings out to his beloved Chandlo, he got nothing

he turned back around and put his glasses back on. One of the lenses was smudged and the other still dirty.

He peeked his head out the mill's door. “Chandlo are you there?”

But of course he wasn’t there. Only the snaks from Gramble’s barn acnolaged him. With a disgruntled sigh he returned to his cleaning.

“How odd…”

— — —

That night he stood in front of his conspiracy board Looking over his meticulous work. Red yarn linked drawings of his theories together. Yes it looked like a bunch of random papers pinned to the wall but that didn’t matter.

But no matter how much he tried to focus on what the grumpinati was planning for him. The thought of his confession to Chandlo plagued his mind.

The way he didn’t even react to what he said then ran off after Beffica. It disturbed him. And the way he said “terrible secrets” Was weird too. Chandlo doesn’t have any secrets. So why would he ask about that?

Unless that wasn’t Chandlo…

“Dear grump. Has the grumpinati already figured out how to make clones? Perhaps lifelike robots?” He went to his small shelf and took some paper. He made a drawing of two Chandlo’s and wrote the word impostor on top of one then hung it up.

“Terrible secrets, huh? My love doesn’t have any!” He mumbled to himself. “Its ai is possibly the best I’ve ever seen. When I get my paws on it I’ll Tear it apart and turn it against you!”

He cut some red yarn and connected the drawing to the grumpinati symbol. “I’ll foil your plans once again, just you wait.”

“Hey Snorp-dawg!”

Snorpy squeaked when he heard his best friend (with benefits) greet him, but Everything seemed normal about him… so far.

“Ah Chandlo, it’s just you.” He said as he gave him an awkward smile. “Or is it…” he whispered

“How’s your day been? Any new invitations?” Chandlo asked as he took off his cap, letting his shaggy hair fall out.

“Of course you would ask about my inventions, Impostor.” He said under his breath

Chandlo sat on his bed “Huh?”

“Oh nothing “Chandlo” my day was wonderful!” He smiled. “Say…”Chandlo” If you’d like we can talk about your terrible secret now.”

“… what terrible secret?” Chandlo asked. “You know I wouldn’t keep any secrets from you.”

“Oh so you don’t remember what we were talking about earlier?”

“No? I haven’t been here since this morning.”

Snorpy turned back to his board “ah, so I see that you're not the imposter then.”

Chandlo got up “Huh??? Snorpy, what imposter?”

“Oh it’s nothing.” He dismissed

“Why would you think I’m an imposter?” Chandlo said as he now stood in front of Snorpy.

“Well if you insist, When I was cleaning my glasses you came to me and asked about a “terrible secret”. And after I spoke to you, you ran off after Beffica. but since you have no recollection of that ever happening, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two of you.”

“What? Bro that’s impossible. Maybe you just confused me for someone else?”

“Hmm perhaps. But who would ask me such a question?”

“Maybe Beffica? She did have pinkle arms and I’m pretty sure I saw her with one of my jerseys. You might have thought she was me.”

“Hmmm I suppose that is a possibility. She is known for being in others business, no matter how private.” He said as he adjusted his apron. “But I still think you should keep an eye out for anymore of you. Just to be safe of course.”

Chandlo gave him a warm smile “anything for you snorp-dawg!”

— — —

Stars now filled the night sky as the mill’s wide doors now let in A nice breeze. Snorpy gently pulled the glasses off his face and set them on his shelf. Chandlo was already in his bed on the other side of the room.

Snorpy sat on his bed “Chandlo?” He called out softly

“Yeah Snorp-dawg?” Chandlo responded sleepily

“Since that wasn’t you earlier… I’m guessing you didn’t hear what I told you? About the “terrible secret”?”

“Nope.”

“Ah… I see…”

Chandlo sat up in bed looking Snorpy in his eyes although all Snorpy could see was a green blob. “Something you wanted to tell me?”

“I- uh… no. No I-it was nothing” and with that he laid down in his bed “good night Chandlo.”

[hmsharmony]

Hi all! This shouldn’t come as a surprise given how infrequently I’ve been on this year, but I’m officially going on hiatus from tumblr (and probably fandom as well). I honestly thought I had processed October 7th and the antisemitic fallout with my therapist, until she left the practice just last month. I was anxious about who I might end up with, so I asked if she could recommend any Jewish therapists in her practice, which she did. Of course there’s only so much you can tell from a therapist’s bio, but I chose one hoping I wouldn’t end up with someone who had not internalized antisemitism.

I did not.

I ended up with someone who has had a similar experience. And when she revealed this, a weight I didn’t even realize I was carrying suddenly disappeared.

We had our first meeting last week and discussed what I had worked on with my last therapist. Of course that included work we did re October 7, and when I started going into specific, I started crying. My new therapist then gently asked me if I had processed the trauma. I responded that I thought I had, but maybe not (very obviously not). She then added “living as a Jewish person” to the list of things we would be working on (a first for her, she said).

“Okay, but how does this relate to tumblr?” Good question! The answer to which I’m putting behind a read more because no one should be forced to see my more detailed account of trauma I’m still processing.

Twitter and tumblr were the two social media platforms where I encountered the most antisemitism starting on October 7. It’s where I saw friends and acquaintances justify the massacre of Jews because they happened to be Israeli (or just in Israel!). It’s where former friends admonished me for how I reacted, insisting that it didn’t matter WHAT I was reacting to, as if it was unthinkable to have heated reactions to antisemitism following the worst massacre of Jews since the Holocaust. I had my trauma dismissed or ignored. A mutual revealed for the first time that they were Jewish and, in the same breath, used that newly revealed identity to dismiss my experience. I was told by person a, b, or c that x, y, or z mutual couldn’t possibly be antisemitic because THEY had never experienced that when interacting with them—an argument person a/b/c rightfully called out in other contexts. And, of course, seeing non-Jewish mutuals refusing to allow Jews to define Zionism, aka the Jewish movement of self-determination, and defining it in a way that vilifies 80-90% of all Jews worldwide. The blood libel. The conspiracy theories. The spreading of Soviet era antisemitic propaganda. And on and on and on.

I closed my Twitter account only a month or so after October 7, and I haven’t returned. I didn’t think that was necessary with tumblr because it’s easier to cultivate one’s experience. Yet even though I KNOW I’ve taken the steps to limit my exposure to antisemitism, every time I think about opening the app, I am filled with dread. And I think it’s because I still haven’t processed not only the antisemitism I experienced in those first few months on here affect October 7, but also the sense of betrayal (see: how the previous paragraph is filled to the brim with bitterness). Also, unlike with the other social media sites I’m still using regularly, I don’t have close friends here, particularly ones who are calling out antisemitism. There are plenty of people I follow on tumblr who have been calling out antisemitism (although most of them were people I found after October 7). I am so grateful to those people, Jewish and non-Jewish alike, but they’re not close friends. My close tumblr friends, most of whom remain close friends, left tumblr a long time ago. Having joined a new fandom, I was building new tumblr relationships in 2022/2023, but then October 7 happened, and with it everything I said above. Perhaps not surprisingly, I’ve since closed myself off from new relationships, even with people I had already started to get to know. That makes for a very lonely experience, which is never a great feeling but is a particularly awful feeling when antisemitism remains so high.

All of this to say: until I process everything, I think tumblr, and fandom by extension, will continue to feel hostile and isolating, regardless of whether it actually is. I really, truly hope to return to tumblr and fandom in the future. I’m hopeful having a therapist who has personal knowledge of antisemitism in the wake of October 7 will mean much more effective therapy.

Fandom has been part of my life since I was nine years old, when I waited impatiently for my AOL dial up to connect to the internet so I could find out why Sailor Moon was no longer playing on Cartoon Network—and discovered fan fiction in the process. Since I was nine!! That’s more than 2/3 of my life. I want to feel comfortable again in a world that has informed so much of who I am. Which is why I’m very hopeful I will return, even if I don’t know how long it will take.

So until then, 👋🏻.

(If we are mutuals and/or have interacted a fair bit before and you would like to stay in touch, I will be checking my messages for a bit and, depending on our history, can point you in the direction of the other social media I’m still using.)

[transmutationisms]

given that the scientific institution is so flawed, how would you go about refuting the argument often used by religion and conspiracy theorists that, well, you believe in gravity/atoms/the universe etc. because scientists have told you it is so (hence it's no different than believing in god or other such unfalsifiable beliefs). it makes me so angry but i never know how to respond :/

going to be provocative here and say that it's never going to be useful or feasible to try sorting all facts / theories into two opposing buckets labelled 'religious' and 'scientific' so, let's go ahead and toss that fantasy. i also think that it's actually pretty common for people to interact with and accept scientific claims largely the same way they do spiritual / religious / conspiratorial / occult ones, such as by appeals to common sense (think of, like, intelligent design, which is a classic example of both a religious and scientific claim) or by testimony of trusted figures. the result is that for a lot of people, there legitimately is not a particularly well-defined distinction between their spiritual or religious beliefs and their scientific ones, certainly not in how they came to believe in these things; you can say the same about many political beliefs too.

however, the state of this epistemological crisis doesn't justify the fideist claim that scientific 'revelation' is genuinely interchangeable with religious revelation / faith, or the following implied 'ought' claim ("you can't justify xyz scientific claims, so therefore you actually should consider them as having the same philosophical status as xyz conspiracy theory or theological claim"). instead i would say what we're dealing with here is an urgent need to make scientific claims and knowledge-making more transparent to lay people. this of course doesn't mean i'm asking for a world in which there is no difference between the claims made by people with varying levels of knowledge and expertise. but you shouldn't need to be a career scientist, or a person who can afford university tuition, in order to be able to engage with scientific ideas and debates, or to see how working scientists develop their theories and on what evidentiary basis. (hint: this is part of what's at stake when i talk about university abolition.)

obviously, the fact that a scientist claimed something doesn't make it beyond questioning; indeed, many scientific theories and claims are later refuted, revised, nuanced, or otherwise altered. but, when people use the fact that scientific claims can and should be challenged as a reason to throw their hands up and decide that anything and everything might be true, they're not actually engaging with any sort of challenge to the process of knowledge-making, whether in the scientific domain or the religious one. instead what they're trying to do is use the (real and genuinely troubling) problems with scientific community norms (gatekept knowledge, heavy reliance on consensus mechanisms, enforced and widening gap between experts and lay persons in order to protect professional and pecuniary interests) as the basis for a claim that therefore, knowledge simply can't be challenged or verified, their own claims included. this isn't a means of democratising knowledge or reforming scientific practice, it's a shortcut to pushing whatever their ideological or epistemological agenda is. and it will continue to be difficult to refute with any degree of seriousness so long as scientific claims continue to be propagated as top-down expert knowledge that lay people are actively discouraged from engaging with, because doing so would threaten the financial interests of institutions like universities and professional guilds.

[allykatsart]

STOPPPPPPPPPP peccantum is my child now sorry im adopting him you are losing your parental rights. move the fuck over alastor that little boi is MINE

no but for serious, I. Am. So. In. Love. With your series. the art, the dynamics, the designs, the lore, all of it ALL OF IT. you worked peccantum into the series events so smoothly like whaaaaat

A couple questions I have, and then I'll be out of your hair:

Does Peccantum have any preferred nicknames? I saw someone call him Pec/Pecc once and I've been calling him Peccy in my head. I'm curious if there's an actual, creator-approved, nickname we can use

Do we get to know the full details of what Peccantum got out if his deal? Not tryna steal info you aren't ready to share but by lucifer is it eating at me !!

I don't know if you watch Helluva Boss, but considering og Peccantum (not hazbin version) is space-themed and you mention he decorates his room like space,,, it's totally improbable but WHAT IF HE MET STOLAS or Octavia!!!!!!! I just think it would be so wholesome for him even though the Goetias don't interact with sinners

So in his pre-afterlife lore you mention he worked his way up a cult but got taken advantage of by the leader and stripped of all the power he'd accumulated. He's obviously suuuuuper power hungry so it may fog up his thinking, but did he not learn from that??? why is he cozying up to Al (like eating the rotten venison just to impress him) if the last time he did that, it resulted in him losing everything

Peccantum wears Alastor's colours bc soul ownership and everything, but during the 7 years when Peccantum never heard from him, how relaxed did he get? Did he still wear the colours then or did that begin when he was oh so kindly volunteered for "bellhop" services?

If Peccantum's red string theories lead to conspiracies like "Alastor is just Lucifer in disguise", how off the mark is he about who owns Al's soul? Like would he be crazy enough to suspect Razzle n Dazzle or something or would he hit close to the mark?

On a related note, do you have a HC for who owns his soul?

I LOVEDDDD when you gave Peccantum his different hairstyles (they were all gorgeous but I particularly enjoyed the one with the many braids),, maybe Angel or Charlie would convince him to play dress-up??

Does. Peccantum. wear. makeup.

Is there a particular reason behind bis jumpiness or is it just one of his many Talents ✨️

If Alastor ate Peccantum would Al season him or would he be eaten spiceless?

Peccantum visits Cannibal Town for Al's errands, is he chill with any of the residents or does he more employ the in-and-out-without-looking-at-or-speaking-to-or-acknowledging-anyone tactic

Also just curious about how his and Al's dynamic will evolve

I'm sorry this is such a rambling ask, and please feel free to completely gnore or only answer some questions, I'm just really invested in this au you have going on !!!!!

ps i looked up the name to find how you came up with it and i think you were very smart with it

Who is Peccantum?

Oh wow dkajfbshdhjsjshd I'm. I... I don't know how to respond?!??!! This is so sweet! Thank you! 🖤💜💚❤️💜💜💜❤️✨

Sorry it took so long to answer this! I was drawing a comic and it actually added context to a lot of these questions/answered them, so I figured I'd save it until after I was done. There's a lot here so I'm gonna answer it in numbered sections!

1. Names & Nicknames

I don't really have a nickname for him, I usually call him by his full name lol. Peccy is cool lol. His name is pronounced with hard C's. So Pec-cant-um. Or, in case of the nickname, Peck-y

Fun Fact! Peccantum isn't his 'real' name. Like Angel and Husk, he took a new name once he died. His other name was actually shorter (and an actual name too). Peccantum is actually a mix of the words peccatum, meaning sin or transgression in Latin, and incant, in Latin meaning enchant. Basically, magical sin, which sums up Peccantum pretty well actually!

2. Peccantum's Deal

Yes you can!

3. Meeting Stolas

I am a fan of helluva! Have been ever since it came out! Despite that I haven't actually thought about this until now.

Peccantum, absolute nerd that he is, would probably be fascinated by Stolas and his powers. Like talking about specific spells, how long it takes to set up, magic of the stars, etc. I feel like they would have a VERY long conversation about magic and space and shit cause Stolas is lonely and Peccantum is very enthusiastic about this topic. Octavia, meanwhile, would get a long list of places in the human world with little to no light pollution. For excellent star viewing, of course.

4. Cozying up to Alastor

The short answer? No, absolutely not, Peccantum learned nothing XD

The long answer? It's complicated and messy. Peccantum, at that time, went into a bad situation because it was familiar to him. Blood, illicit murders, and strange dealings were all part of what Peccantum was taught to do. He thought he could handle whatever Alastor would ask of him. That it wouldn't matter in the end because Alastor would eventually get rid of him.

He wasn't expecting the Radio Demon to vanish.

5. Clothing Choices

You may have noticed during Checking In that Peccantum is wearing a completely different outfit before he's pulled into the hotel! That is Alastor's doing! Because Peccantum wasn't working for him dressed like that.

At first Peccantum was completely on edge because he was expecting Alastor to show up. After that first year, Alastor could call on him at any time! That's a scary thing to constantly have in the back of your mind. But then, Alastor just... didn't? There were rumors that Alastor had fallen to angels and Alastor wasn't showing up? It left Peccantum completely to his own devices.

Slowly, very slowly, Peccantum started making choices for himself, and learning how to live. He got a shitty job, a shitty apartment, but for the first time in years he was actually living, making choices of his own. And he found he kinda liked it. Not everything, of course, but making your own path in life, finding out what you like and who you are... Well. It was nice, for a time.

Peccantum still has his own clothes but he's aware that what Alastor dressed him in is his uniform.

6. Who owns Alastor's soul?

Tbh, I think it's Lilith. Maybe that's the obvious answer but like... That's the only viable candidate we have rn.

Peccantum would be suspecting Lilith and Lucifer, mainly because of the specifics of the deal Alastor made with Charlie. He didn't take her soul, meaning there's some benefit to having her free.... Or the more likely option; Alastor can't. Whatever deal he's under restricts him from taking Charlie's soul. The only people Peccantum knows who care about Charlie enough to fuck with the Radio Demon would be her parents.

I think he would lean more towards Lucifer, though. It would explain the immediate hostility between him and Alastor. Lucifer's ignorance could be feigned to piss off Alastor even more.

However, Peccantum would also keep evidence for Adam and maybe some of the seven deadly sins on the board. He doesn't have enough evidence for them, but he's not going to dismiss those options just yet.

7. Dress up day

Peccantum doesn't own a lot of clothes but he has explored a few other outfits! Here's some of the sketches I made when exploring what he would wear before he came to the hotel.

I do imagine there would be a 'express yourself through clothing choices' activity he would get wrapped up in tho. He can wear just about anything and still look pretty good. Charlie's happy to see Peccantum embracing different styles and exploring! Angel might help pick outfits and push Peccantum out of his comfort zone.

8. Makeup

Peccantum does wear makeup! It's actually pretty new for him, so he's not the best with it and he doesn't go too extreme but... It's kinda fun!

9. Spice or no spice?

I. I have no idea tbh. I'm not an expert in... people flavoring? XD

10. Jumping at shadows

Did you misspell trauma as talents? XD, joking. In all seriousness though, Peccantum is fairly jumpy because he's high strung. He's a very anxious person in general (there are exceptions) and he's in his own head a lot. Sometimes he will forget that other people are there and be surprised when he is reminded of their presence.

11. Errands to Cannibal Colony

Peccantum definitely keeps his head down. Cannibalism in general makes him uneasy, so best to keep out of the way of any hungry citizens who want to try their luck. Peccantum can defend himself, but he'd rather not if he can avoid it. Cannibals travel in packs and the best way to avoid them is to avoid putting a target on your back.

Thankfully, most people there know he's Alastor's, so they leave him be.

12. Alastor and Peccantum

This one is tricky because I wanna explore this more in other comics, but I'll try and give a general overview here.

Their relationship isn't... Healthy. Especially not at first, but Peccantum coming to the hotel does actually put him in a better place. He meets new people, gains friends, and makes a support network that he never had before. On the other hand, he has to deal with Alastor, the constant anxiety of job performance, and deal with/unpack several traumas he's been repressing. It's a mix of good and bad.

Later on, a few months after working at the hotel, I think Alastor does start to warm up to Peccantum some. They become friendlier, not to the point of being friends, but Alastor appreciates the work Peccantum does and trusts him with tasks that he wouldn't have beforehand. By the time the attack on the hotel happens, he trusts Peccantum won't screw him over.

And then the fight with Adam happens.

We don't know what will happen in season 2, and we probably won't for a while, but... I imagine losing that fight with Adam did not help Alastor's insecurities. Personally, I think the Radio Demon is going to close himself off from the others, more than he already has. To feel in control again, he's going to be a lot more strict with his 'employees' and a lot less lenient with Peccantum.

Peccantum, of course, isn't going to know this and would take it as a sign that he's failing Alastor, something he's deathly afraid of. His anxiety would spike and the almost neutral relationship he had with Alastor would turn unhealthy again. There would be a regression of progress.

Whatever happens in season 2 would def affect their relationship tho, so I can't say much more than that for now.

Thank you so much for the comment! I love answering about my lil deer guy!!!! Don't feel like you're bothering me, I may take a while but I do get to these questions eventually and I appreciate the interest!

[tobiasdrake]

Are you officially gone from TV Tropes? Haven't seen you on any of the forum threads for a while now.

I pop in from time to time to lurk on some threads, but I'm not actively following things there the way I used to. I've been focusing a lot on Tumblr lately.

But I've always had less online time in general lately, as these last couple months have involved a substantial amount of adulting.

I'm finding I enjoy the format of Tumblr a lot better than internet forums. There's less pressure to respond to people here. I can shoot opinions out into the wild and people can take or leave them as they will, and then everyone just moves on.

In a forum, everybody's in one room vying to duke it out with whoever spoke last. Everything has to be such a debate. Everybody's always competing to prove how smart they are and how right their position on whether Batman can beat up Superman is.

And I just. I don't have the mental space for that anymore. I haven't for years. I'm in my late thirties now; I don't want to fistfight someone in the Denny's parking lot over Spider-Man movies.

And I'm also just so tired of long, drawn-out arguments with people who clearly aren't reading what I'm saying, and just respond to the general idea of my point that they've heard from others. Then make me out to be the bad guy because they've made it into an argument and dragged it out for pages on end.

"Ugggh, there goes Drake answering questions and clarifying misinterpretations of what he was saying again. Why does he always have to drone on and on about this every time people keep pushing the topic back onto him? Why won't he just drop the topic we keep responding to him about?"

TvTropes is an echo chamber governed by mob consensus. They like to say that they're just... pro-positivity towards media. "We are a website for celebrating media," is the pitch. Threads that exist purely to complain about a piece of media are forbidden and the general belief is that if a fan and a critic are arguing, the critic is always wrong.

But that's a lie, because the forum has plenty of complaining threads. The Sonyverse thread exists purely so everyone can shit on the Sonyverse and talk about how dumb Sony is for ever thinking these films could work. And also conspiracy theories about Venom's success being fake.

In actuality, TvTropes is governed by mob rule. The community has an opinion consensus about a piece of media, and if you disagree with the consensus then you're wrong. You're not supposed to talk shit about the MCU in the MCU thread but you're also not supposed to defend the Sonyverse in the Sonyverse thread, and either of these positions will incite the furious mob. It's an echo chamber.

For a long time now, it's become my policy on TvTropes to just say my piece and then fuck off and not respond to whoever gets uppity about it. Just fire off an opinion and then bail. Because I don't want to fistfight you in the Denny's parking lot, and if I actually respond to questions being asked then I put a target on my back.

And that's just. Not any fun for me. I didn't like the movie. Seven pages of screeching at me about it isn't going to make me like the movie. That's kind of the thing about media discourse? Even if you have the facts on your side, you're never going to change someone's mind by vanquishing them in the Arena of Logic.

No one has ever gone, "Oh, you're right, Black Widow's death technically does not qualify as Women in Refrigerators because she had agency in it. The scene is therefore good now. My qualms have been quelled and I will now defend this movie with my life." At the end of the day, we're just using words to describe how the thing made us feel. You might outmaneuver my words in a clash of verbal blades. But my feelings live on. You cannot slay them in semantic jousting.

And I've long given up on trying.

This is where Debate Bros will say "Well, my goal isn't to convince YOU but to convince ALL OF THE PEOPLE WATCHING US," as if sharing opinions on whether Batman can beat up Superman carries the same cultural gravitas as a Presidential Debate.

I use media discourse the way other people use fanfic. To express the feelings and ideas that are burning in my brain and need an outlet, need to go somewhere. On TvTropes, that always has to turn into a fight, because everyone in a forum environment has to have opinions about everyone else's opinions and we're all expected to civilly scream at each other until the mob consensus has been formed and the Official TvTropes Opinion is reached.

But on Tumblr, I can just throw my opinions out into the wild. And if people like them, they'll get Notes and maybe even start doing numbers. And if people don't, then they'll just be left to the void of forgotten statements. Either way, I can move on with my life after saying it, you can move on with your life after reading it or not read it at all, and we can all just go do something else.

That's basically how I try to use TvT these days, but on Tumblr that's actually the culture. It's what's expected. And so I find myself drawn more and more to the calming void of Tumblr over the combative civility of TvTropes.

[cantquitu]

HSHQ ATTACKS LOUIS TOMLINSON

Last week, in reply to the usual Larrie goading on Twitter, Louis Tomlinson indirectly referred to Larry as "ridiculous childish theories and conspiracies". Revenge from Larries has been swift. They're angry. They're insulted. They're broken-hearted! They're mocking and vengeful. They're undeterred in their Larrying.

In short, they're all the things they always are whenever Louis addresses their stupid bullshit.

BUT!

Other fans of Louis - fans who are definitely not conspiracy theorists and certainly not Larries, oh no! - have uncovered an even darker tale of anger and revenge.

It isn't just Larries who have responded furiously to Louis' denial of Larry.

Harry Styles HQ has unleashed a vicious, vengeful attack on Louis!

That's right. According to seasurfacefullofclouds1, "when Louis does anything to shatter the 'Larry' illusion, Sony (HSHQ, Irving and Jeff, Rob Stringer etc) get very angry".

And how do they deal with that anger? By posting a "disgusting" video of Louis on Sony's TikTok "that is so obviously targeted harassment against Louis they make it obvious that they are the power that causes industry to blacklist Louis".

Now, I am not a skilled specialist in the nefarious ways of HSHQ, so when I saw this disgusting video of Sony's, I confess it wasn't immediately clear to me why it was so disgusting.

According to Louis' fans, HSHQ's tactics are sly and insidious. So sly as to be almost imperceptible to anyone other than the highly-trained eye of a watchful Louis Tomlinson fan. One might ask, if HSHQ's revenge can only be perceived by these LT sleuths, how can it be effective?

BECAUSE IT JUST IS, OKAY??! DON'T ASK DIFFICULT QUESTIONS!

The video in question is an 11-second compilation of clips of Louis from various One Direction music videos, soundtracked by the chorus of 1D's second single, Gotta Be You. It's one of a series of videos Sony posted of each of the 1D members, all set to the Gotta Be You chorus and captioned "It's gotta be Niall", "It's gotta be Harry" etc.

Hmm... the disgusting nature of this video was subtle in the extreme. I needed to refer to an expert.

Gracefullou said, "Sony posted a TikTok about Louis (as a 1D member) and used as a sound the part of that song that he said on aotv he was promised to sing only to find out when it was released they used that man's voice instead".

Aha! The clue here is in the use of "that man" - codename for Harry Styles. And of course - Gotta Be You!

In Louis' documentary, he shared the difficult memory of rehearsing and recording a verse in Gotta Be You, only to discover that his singing was not used in the final recording, and the verse was instead sung by Harry. Now, the disgusting Sony video does not actually use the part of the song Louis was referring to, but no matter! And the fact that the same chorus was also used to soundtrack the videos of the other four members of 1D is immaterial...ignore that part, it's Sony burying the lead! THIS WAS A TARGETED AND DELIBERATE ATTACK!!!!

Look, it's obvious. Harry, the Azoffs, Rob Stringer...they're all "still bitter he survived and is thriving rn".

You may think, but Harry is currently on a break, loved-up with his girlfriend. Why would he care that Louis has denied Larry again?

THINK, SHEEPLE, THINK!!

You may ask, "Haven't Irving and Jeff Azoff just launched The Sphere with a series of mind-blowing U2 concerts? Wouldn't they be too busy to monitor Louis Tomlinson's Twitter?"

WAKE UP! REAL EYES REALISE REAL LIES!!11!!

But, hold on - how would Rob Stringer, CEO of Sony Music Entertainment, have the time to prioritise the blacklisting of Louis Tomlinson in such a carefully-planned, time-consuming fashion?

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP IF YOU CAN'T SEE THE TRUTH WHEN IT'S SO OBVIOUS THEN YOU NEVER WILL!

HSHQ will not tolerate Louis Tomlinson denying Larry, and they will continue their crusade against him in response. End of. I hope this has been educational.

[aladaylessecondblog]

Severed Destiny, pt. 9

"Now, what have we learned?"

Haj-deek took a deep breath.

"The spear is not a weapon--" and then, correcting herself, "The spear is not only a weapon. It is...an extension of my body and will. With it, I can both bring order and sow chaos. It is not an evil thing but in the hand of one meaning to do ill, it can become a symbol of evil."

"Very good," Vivec said, "A thing on its own is not evil. But imbued with and surrounded by it, it cannot help but become so. Good and evil leave their echoes upon mind and object alike."

Haj-deek had, as she'd had many times over the past weeks, a distinct feeling that Vivec was trying to say more than he was saying. Most of his lessons were like that, presented as one thing and coated in two more. Knowledge she'd take in and then unwrap to discover something else at the core...usually while eating or doing something else.

This, he said, was why he tried not to impart very much each day. "Wisdom takes thought, and thought takes time."

(Sometimes she was unsure how serious he was about things. Was he trying to be thorough in his teaching, or was he jerking her around? Maybe it was a combination of both...that thing he had given her, too, they did not speak of. He'd said she'd know when to use it, but how could he be certain of it?)

Weapon training was almost easy by comparison. She did best with her fists, but Vivec insisted on her becoming familiar with the spear and longsword as well. Her fists and a dagger were hardly enough, considering her lack of ability to maintain her own magicka. Alchemy could only carry her so far.

"Is that why you were able to...kill Nerevar?"

Such questions were ones Haj-Deek only ever asked when she was certain she was alone with Vivec.

Vivec was silent for a moment.

"Nerevar was grief-stricken," he said, "And so comforted by his queen, he did not notice my approach."

"So the story of robes and candles some of the books talk of...?"

"We made that part up ourselves. Consider in the future, if you are in a situation which may yield conspiracy theories and lurid accusations, it is good to have a hand in crafting at least one of them yourself."

Haj-deek thought for a moment before nodding.

"He intended fully to pray to Azura to gain some wisdom, and it seemed a likely enough thing to happen had I not..."

Her father's name almost slipped her lips at that point, but it didn't feel right to say the word.

"I remember hearing him say...Azura abandoned...me...us...whatever this is. When you'd all proceeded to the Heart, I mean."

"That is the very thing that I intended not to be," Vivec replied, "The sort of god who abandons those who need him most."

"And it worked...for a long time. But V...my father woke up."

"I think it would be best not to speak those words just yet. That he is what he is to you. But...yes. It did work. Regrettably we could not stop Tiber Septim, but...let me let you in on a secret of my own. We never thought that using the Numidium would go so well for him. It had a tendency to...well...kill those who used it."

"And cause dragon breaks."

"Dragon breaks. Laziness, more like." Vivec huffed, in a very ungodly way, "What an excuse."

"Laziness? Excuse?"

He suddenly sat up straight, and pivoted. "Do you feel ready to begin the trials of the Nerevarine?"

"I'm not sure I ever will," Haj-deek gave up on the subject as clearly Vivec wouldn't respond and settled for saying quietly, "But I guess I shouldn't waste too much time. Not that the training you give is wasting my time! It's just...."

"A reasonable point of view. Though I do wonder how long you would choose to stay, despite my...eccentricities."

"I don't know if I want to go north to the tribes just yet, or Red Mountain either, but...maybe there might be something else for me to do first."

Vivec seemed to brighten at that.

"Correct. To go to Red Mountain now would be disastrous...but I need not go on about that, you are bright enough to know the reasons even if your youth tells you that you may overcome them."

"So is there anything I might do first?" She wanted to leave the city for a little while, put to use these fighting skills Vivec had insisted she train herself in. What was the point of learning to fight if she wasn't going to actually fight anything?

"You can go to Tel Fyr," he replied, after a minute or so of consideration, "Your blood may be of interest to Divath Fyr - he is studying corprus, you see, and you are the first person to be born with it. And since you are clearly immune - he will want to study you."

"I don't want to be STUDIED!" Haj-deek burst out, "I'm not a test subject!"

"If you would let me finish--"

"No, I don't think I will. I'm not going to go get blood taken and...and who knows what else."

Vivec's face sunk into his palm for a moment. "Unfortunately he is the premier expert on corprus. I'm not asking you to take up residence in his tower. The opposite, actually. I want to see if your immunity may be passed on to others, and the only one who has the expertise to gauge that sort of thing is Divath Fyr. And...there's something else."

"What?"

"You wish to...correct certain things, yes?"

"...yes." She spoke with some hesitation, unsure of what he was getting at.

"Speak to the dwarf," Vivec replied, and noting the presence of someone in the far corner, lowered his voice as he went on, "In his corprusarium, the bowels of his tower, Divath Fyr tends the last living dwemer. This dwarf is...was...familiar with certain relations of yours. Go to Divath Fyr with the story that you are immune to corprus, and speak in secret to the dwarf."

"And you think that will help?"

"It is a lead. And the trip will be an excellent way to test the training you have received so far."

Haj-deek huffed slightly. The idea was a good one, and she hated having to admit it. Something of Nerevar kicked about in her head. Or maybe it was her own thoughts, or a combination of the two, or--regardless, she felt something, and that something was a grudging admission that Vivec was right. And he hated to think it.

"Fine," she replied, "I'll go."

"Excellent." Vivec brought his hands together, and when they saw the visitor was in fact Archcanon Saryoni come to ask some sort of question, he added, "Then go, with my blessing."

-----------------------

It had not been terribly difficult, getting along in Vivec City. Certainly she had to mind her manners around the Ordinators, but Haj-deek felt a lifetime of holding her tongue and making nice in Ebonheart had prepared her very well indeed for the problem. She found herself doing little chores for the Temple - to soften them towards her, Vivec said. Privately she knew it was to establish a sort of cover for her among Temple faithful - see, the Nerevarine is a devotee! See her dedication to the Tribunal!

At the same time...

...it'll get back to HIM, and that'll make anything I want to do...harder than it already is...

He wouldn't give the time of day to someone dedicated to the Tribunal. She would be lucky to even get in the door.

After getting supplies together, she found herself needing to duck the same sleeper as had greeted her on arrival to the city. Haj-deek moved toward the Hlaalu Canton - and on rounding one of its corners tried to back away instantly on sight of who was walking along the opposite side.

Orvas Dren, flanked by a couple of his Camonna Tong guards, was walking down the pathway. He saw her immediately, and though momentarily surprised made right for her.

"And what might you be doing here? Did the lizards put you out now that you are old enough to shift for yourself?"

"No," Haj-deek crossed her arms, "Better odds of getting work here that doesn't...well, they don't really know about the--the argonians here, and that hindered me in--"

Orvas's eyes traveled ever so slightly down and for a moment Haj-deek had the uncomfortable feeling he was ogling her - until she realized the hand with the moon-and-star was frontmost and the ring itself was clearly visible. She saw his expression shifting in the time she watched his face - confusion, anger, thinking, then a sink back into his usual bland interest.

"Well, well, well, little Haj-deek, wearing the moon-and-star. But, that being the case," his tone darkened, "I should think you would be smarter than to put yourself under the Tribunal's power."

"I didn't have much of a choice," she replied quickly, "I left Ebonheart and one of the ordinators all but herded me into the city. Lord Vivec - ah - wants to direct me himself, I think."

"Of course he would." Orvas huffed, "I imagine he will have you locked away in Baar Dau before too much longer has passed...re-education, that is his aim with most who dare to disobey his direction. You're fortunate I was in the city on business."

Haj-deek played along, and lied, "He's been training me, so I've had to pretend I actually want to be here. Around him. It's not that I believe what he says."

She wasn't sure how to phrase this, and from the way she saw Orvas's face working she felt she'd already tripped up.

"Well, you've always been intelligent in that way, you're quick minded. Learning the ways to fit in among those who don't have your best interests at heart. But there is something I'm curious about."

"What's that?"

"The ring. Did you already have it in Ebonheart? If you had gone to some forsaken place in a long pilgrimage to get it I'm certain you would have a different look about you. Sleep deprivation is a close bedfellow with anyone who takes a long journey and you look as if you have never been deprived of rest a day in your life."

"Well, I--"

"Perhaps you found it somewhere? Lifted it from the lizards who knew not what it means? Or you--"

"It was my mother's--" Haj-deek burst out and shut her mouth the next instant. Her eyes widened. he realized her mistake almost immediately, but definitely too late.

"Your mother's?"

Orvas's face went through a shifting series of expressions again. Surprise, thoughtfulness, and then focus as he went on, "The ring belonged to your mother? So she was the previous Nerevarine?"

The wheels were turning. He was working something out, she could see it from the way his eyes darted back and forth at nothing, but what?

"I--yes. Please, I have to get going," Haj-deek went on, "I'm...on my way to see Divath Fyr. A way of--proving my identity, you know, since I've--"

There was something sharp in Orvas's expression then, and another look like he was thinking deeply, or as deeply as one could when trying to be quick. "You've always been a healthy child. Go. Speak to your Telvanni wizard. But do remember I always have need for someone of your talents."

Orvas gave her an ironical sort of bow and an accompanying smirk then. He'd gotten enough out of her and it seemed to satisfy him, but why she couldn't figure out. She was too eager to get on, and hurried past him to finally exit Vivec City.

-----------------------------

Besides the expected attacks from wild cliffracers (Sunchaser had to be healed up from several, while trying to defend her) and other dangerous Vvardenfell fauna, and sneaking by various hideouts and caves, Haj-deek had only one incident of particular note on the five-day journey she took to Tel Fyr.

While passing Dren Plantation, she happened to pass an Argonian slave who promptly dropped one of the apparently heavy sacks he was carrying. When she stopped to help he thanked her and introduced himself as Hides-His-Foot, and she returned with her own name, which surprised him, but he said nothing more until she spoke up.

"I am sorry to see you in chains," she replied, "I would free you, if you could but tell me--"

It is our duty, Im-Kilaya's words, frequently spoken to her as a young child, echoed again in her head, To help those still shackled by slavery, in whatever way we can.

"Go free?" Hides-His-Foot shook his head emphatically, "No, I am old and could not make it on my own."

He would say no more to her, and as she watched him go she told herself she would be back. He couldn't go now, and where would she take him, anyway? Perhaps if she freed a few slaves during her journey some of the other Twin Lamps members might trust her enough to tell her where she could take older slaves like Hides-His-Foot.

The sea breeze persisted as she passed Telasero, and even at Molag Mar where she sold a bundle of cliffracer plumes for more food and to repair her spear and dagger, as well as buy a lengthy hooded cloak . She glanced only briefly at the slave market, hearing again what Im-Kilaya had said.

I will be back for you. All of you. I swear it, she thought. If I'm Lord Nerevar returned I can do whatever in oblivion I want, and what I want is the slaves freed.

(There was a tug in her chest, and whether it was Nerevar or the Hist she couldn't be sure. But something was definitely pleased by her declaration.

It was a struggle to make herself move on, but she managed it.

----------------------------

Haj-deek turned north, and the land began to darken along with the animals. Past the Maesa-Shammus egg mine, a blight storm started to kick up, and Sunchaser wedged herself beneath the cloak to hide from the ashy winds, her beaked face protruding from the hood beside Haj-deek's, her usual high-pitched calls now completely silent as her wings hugged at shoulders. When the blighted kagouti and cliffracers began to appear she wouldn't emerge to help in the fight, merely tremble and kept her head down as if to avoid seeing them at all.

"It's alright, it's fine," she said, reaching up to try and pat at the beak by her ear, "I've got you."

If not for the map she'd have gotten entirely lost, and for a stretch she was afraid she had, but on having to hide from a couple passing Ashlanders Haj-deek realized the gathering of Dunmer she could dimly see through the red winds was the Erabinemsun camp.

Okay, so I'm close. Good. Good.

Her feet hurt, ash was everywhere, and she was ducking ashlander hunters but at least she was nearly to Tel Fyr. That was something.

Finally, she hit the shoreline. Thankfully, just as the blight storm was beginning to let up--and not wanting to waste the magicka, she removed the cloak, shoved it into one of her bags. After, of course, making sure there weren't any ashlanders watching her back or hiding nearby.

Sunchaser complained, but Haj-deek shrugged the cliffracer off. "Come on, I have to get in the water, you can fly that far."

She had learned to swim so early she couldn't fully remember when it had happened, and was almost pleased to dive into the water, even with the bags weighing her down and messing with her pace.

It was half an hour later that a waterlogged Haj-deek made it to the front door of Tel Fyr. She ducked behind a rock and changed from her damp armor into the darker clothes that still smelled faintly of skooma. Once she was changed Sunchaser took her perch up once again, and they entered the tower.

Five days, she thought, five days it had taken her, and finally she was here.

Haj-deek was greeted by a Dunmer woman who said, "Are you here to plunder the dungeon? Have you got corprus disease? Did you want to talk to Divayth Fyr?"

"No, sort of, and yes," Haj-deek answered all of her questions, and on receiving a strange look she went on with, "I didn't even know there were dungeons here. And I do have corprus, but I...don't, at the same time."

She lifted her right hand to show the moon-and-star, and said, "I'm the--newest Nerevarine."

"I see. Well. You'll be wanting to see Lord Fyr, then."

"I was told I should offer some blood," Haj-deek replied, shifting uncomfortably, "I hope he's not going to ask for any."

"I doubt he will bleed you like a vampire, but I won't tell you that he won't. He does surprise people now and then."

"He's up there, then?" Haj-deek gestured to the hole in the ceiling, and the dunmer woman nodded.

"I hope you know how to levitate, or you shan't be able to see him."

"Oh, I know, I just don't like to use the spell if I can help it. We Atronach signs have to be careful with our magicka supply, miss...?"

"Beyte Fyr," the woman replied.

"Nice to meet you, then. I'm...Haj-deek."

She cast the levitate spell and moved up, stumbling about lost for only a minute or so before literally running into Divath Fyr. She stumbled back, groaning in pain, and apologized quickly, "I'm so sorry, Lord Fyr, I--I'm not familiar with your tower."

Divath Fyr was fairly tall, and now she could see why it had hurt to run into him. He was wearing a full set of daedric armor - she'd only ever seen it in art! It was hard to imagine that it existed at all, given how rare it seemed to be. After allowing her a bit of gawking, he spoke up.

"Well! What a pleasure! A visitor! An entertaining diversion!"

It was more cheery than she expected, and it stunned her that Divath Fyr was that overtly friendly.

"Come to consult the great Divayth Fyr? You have the divine disease?" He seemed perfectly at ease, and all she could think was she was missing something. Telvanni weren't this friendly to outsiders, this wasn't how things worked.

"Well--well, yes...and no."

Divath's head tilted just slightly to one side. "I don't imagine you've come here before, which is the only way I've ever seen someone cured."

"No, I haven't," she replied, "That--that person you talk of, that you cured. That was my mother...and I guess I've inherited her immunity."

The wizard (she hesitated to think him one, with such armor on his person) leaned down a bit, and stared her directly in the eye, completely ignoring Sunchaser's fixing one of her eyes on him in turn. "You've no sores? No rashes, no memory loss, no strange intrusive thoughts?"

Haj-deek took a step back, a little unnerved by the stare Divath was giving her. "No. I've had the dreams, but...nothing more. No sores, no rashes, nothing. I've never even had so much as a sniffle."

"Strange...very strange. Of course I've heard of mothers passing their resistances to certain diseases, but corprus...this..."

"Lord Vivec suggested," she went on, hesitating to speak, "That I might give you a sample of my blood."

It was a disgusting idea, and she still would rather do anything but.

"An agreeable idea..." Divath seemed to be thinking on something, and went silent.

"I'm not cutting my hand if I can help it," she started quickly, "Even if it's just a trifling sort of cut and I don't lose much blood--"

"Oh, there's no need for that. You thought I take blood by way of a dagger? Unrefined, that. Inclined to infection...not that you would need to worry about that, but it is a concern for the rest of my patients. No, there's a tool I've invented that makes drawing blood much easier, and safer for the would-be donor. I simply stick a vein, and let your body pulse out the blood all on its own. Then heal it as you please. For my patients, I...install a permanent one, which makes studying their blood much easier."

"That's--" The idea of being bled was still gross, but the idea of not having to cut her finger like she was doing some sort of secret vow made it just a little bit less so. "I'll want to see how it works before I let you do anything, though."

"My oldest patient, he'll have a set of them handy. I've some things to tend to up here - you go and fetch the blood-drawing tools from him in the corprusarium, and I'll be more than happy to display how they work. But I warn you - do not attack my patients. They're mostly passive but some may attack you."

"I have a pet cliffracer," Haj-deek said, "There's nothing they can do to me that cliffracers haven't done worse."

That prompted a laugh. "Ah, to be young and arrogant again. Go on then, off with you. You've presented me with a very interesting prospect and I want to prepare for what I'm to see in your blood. Or not see."

Haj-deek moved off quickly, not really understand most of what he said next.

----------------------------------

The first person she met was the so-called "Warden" Vistha-Kai, an argonian.

"Ruheeva," she said speaking first the Jel greeting for a stranger, "I'm not a new patient, but...Divath Fyr says I have to talk to his 'oldest patient' to collect some blood-drawing tools. Which of them would that be?"

"You want the dwemer," Vistha-Kai said, "You cannot mistake him for anyone else. Yagrum Bagarn is his name, and he is in the bowels of the Corprusarium. Pass through the gate and go straight across to the next door. He rides in a four-legged cart. He's not as dangerous as the other corprus victims. I doubt he'll give you any trouble."

"Thank you." She paused, took a deep breath, and then looked up to Sunchaser. "Stay here. I don't want you getting in trouble for attacking them."

Sunchaser gave one of her cries.

"No. You could get hurt, and I--I don't want that to happen. Stay here." She reached up to gently tug the cliffracer forward, and set her down on the ground. Then she pulled out a chunk of dried fish she'd been carrying in one of the bags. "Here. Eat."

She looked up to Vistha-Kai.

"If you can help it..."

"You do not want her attacked. You need not worry, I believe we understand each other. Though...I would not tarry in speaking to Yagrum Bagarn, if you can avoid it. These are devilish, temperamental beasts at the best of times."

"I've had to fight so many on my way here, I can't say you're wrong." Haj-deek gave a brief laugh, and stepped through the door. She readied a healing spell, in preparation for the corprus patients. As she walked ahead, she saw one at the end of a stony corridor--and it made straight for her. She ducked off to the side of the path, waiting, ready to bolt past it once it got close enough.

But it didn't attack her.

The thing before her, enormously bloated and half-limping, dragging the more swelled of its two legs with a great effort--it stopped short of where she intended to let it get.

And just stared, groaning as it swayed in place. Its eyes focused on her but she felt something more from it - pain. It, no, HE, was in pain. But given the horrible state of his corprus infection, it only made sense.

Are you sure you want to make the attempt, if this is what he does? The thought drifted across her mind, whether hers or someone else's she wasn't sure. It was uncomfortable to the extreme. You want a father. They don't want to be like this. Kill him, and let them receive the only mercy they are now capable of accepting. Let their suffering end.

She shuffled around, but the corprus victim turned to keep his gaze locked on her. She half-expected it to chase after her, but it didn't, merely stood in place.

The next she encountered did nearly the same thing, with some difference. This victim was smaller, or at least not as bloated with corprus as the first had been, but he stared at her as she passed him just as the first one had. It seemed to shake, and then groan in some unseen agony. A moment later it coughed--sending a wretched looking (and smelling) black fluid from its mouth. She stopped--

It groaned, and lurched forward, clumsily grabbing at her, and she ran off before it could close a hand around anything. It wasn't until she rounded the next couple of corners that she realized she'd gotten turned around and had made a whole loop right back to where she was.

Another turn, ahead to the (correct) door this time, another set of victims, another set of sick eyes that fixed too keenly on her. It was almost worse than them attacking her, to have them simply watch. What was happening?

This is what he has done. He thinks it is helping them? He thinks this a gift? How can he not SEE?

Haj-deek wondered if her mother had thought the same thing.

On passing another corprus victim she thought, I have to make him see.

The absurdity of it made her laugh. Blood or not, who could make him do anything he didn't want to? For a moment she despaired of the thought - what made her think she could do anything about this? If her mother couldn't change his mind, how could she expect her own effort to be any different? And she hadn't even SEEN the man yet!

She saw another Dunmer woman, who seemed to take notice of her but said nothing as Haj-deek approached.

"Voryn?"

The voice was thick, muddled, like someone with a terrible cold or a tongue too thick but it was distinctly male.

"You're new here, aren't you?" the dunmer woman spoke, "My name is Uupse..."

"I'm here to see Yagrum Bagarn," she said quickly, "I...I was told Divath Fyr wanted to sample my blood, and that this...dwemer had the...the tools to get it out of me without injury."

She felt entirely wrong here, out of place. Everything felt sick here, even the air.

A heavy tk tk tk sounded off, and from out of the corner of her eye she saw a shadowed figure moving.

"No...my mind is playing tricks on me again...my weak eyes..."

Before her now appeared Yagrum Bagarn, bloated with corprus and entirely situated within what looked more like a contraption to give him spider's legs than anything else.

He stared at her, as the others had, but he had words to go along with the motion.

"I'm sorry, I thought for a moment you were someone else."

"You thought I was Voryn?"

Her father's name. Yes. And this dwemer, riddled with corprus, his mind blighted as all hell, had picked her face out just as Vivec had warned her might happen. Perhaps ten people in Morrowind that knew her face--her father's face.

"The resemblance is extraordinary," he said as he squinted at her, "Truly, I thought you...well. I heard you say you're here for the blood-collecting tools. I've got them here somewhere...Uupse. I hate to ask, but could I...have dinner a little earlier? I'll want to ask how this turns out with Divath Fyr and I know once I start speaking to him it'll last half the night and I won't want to eat."

Uupse nodded, and then looked to Haj-deek. "You--if you harm him, you will have ME to deal with."

"I won't!" she burst out, "I swear, I won't."

Uupse gave her a suspicious look, but moved away. Not until she was firmly out of earshot did Haj-deek speak to Yagrum again. And too eager for answers, she couldn't help but ask the most burning question in her mind at the moment.

"You knew my father?"

"Your FATHER!" Yagram burst out, and devolved very quickly into a fit of coughs that lasted a minute or two. "Now I know my senses fail me! Voryn has no--never had any children! And never a chance to do it, either!"

But after squinting at her a bit longer, his suspicion cleared.

"I suppose I MUST believe you," he said, "For that face - it is uncanny, how closely you resemble him. But I warn you, it is best not to spread such information around. You think those with corprus are treated poorly outside of Tel Fyr? You have seen nothing of what they would do to a natural daughter of one who blighted the land with the disease to begin with. Why are you really here, young one?"

"To see if there might be a way to..." Haj-deek gulped slightly, "To save him. Vivec said you knew him...well...before..."

"That I did. He was the first friend I ever made, your father. Brilliant man. Is that why you come to me? You want me to speak of him so you might know the man you will fell?"

"No, no, I--" she worked quickly, stumbling over nearly every word as if something were holding her back, "I--I want to--if it's possible, I want to fix him. Help him."

Another laugh. Another hacking cough.

"Excuse the laughter. How very like a Dagoth to tackle the impossible! But if anyone can help you, I can. Whatever you think you may get out of this..."

It was a spot of good news. It was something.

It was a start.

[saintundying]

I’m sorry for jumping into your inbox with this but I feel like I’m about to start climbing the walls rewatching season 2.

I’m trying to stop myself from getting too much hope up for 70’s Devil’s minion. But like…. if it wasn’t a thing, they are soo toying with us (which hey, they might be 😂).

The “digging around in Daniel’s head” scene in 2x2 drives me insane. Daniel proposing to his wife in 1985, okay, let’s say there’s no earlier Devil’s minion, this is about how different a trajectory his life took in this version of the story compared to 1985 in the books.

But- BUT with the knowledge from the books this scene becomes insane!! Daniel, proposing to his wife, in 1985 and being turned down. Daniel proposing the same year he was turned in the books but isn’t turned in the show?! The camera lingers a moment on Armand while Louis asks about how Alice responded to Daniel’s proposal? THEN!!! then Daniel starts flashing to memories Armand fucking erased from his head!!!! (The proposal being turned down also helps drive me crazy, because of it was just about the different trajectory of his life, why doesn’t she say yes? Why is it instead a rejection that matches with how Daniel isn’t a vampire yet?)

1985 -> Daniel being turned down -> camera lingers on Armand -> memories of Armand, erased by Armand.

How is anyone meant to still have any sanity left after that??

Then they keep rubbing it in with stuff like cutting to Armand making a face after Daniel says “Yah” in 2x4. And I’m not even a hardcore Armand is Alice believer 😭😭, but I’m still standing here with my bloody conspiracy wall covered in red threads. I know there are other explanations (for example, Armand is just about to start an amazing face journey listening to Louis wax about his emotional-support-hallucination-ex-husband, so maybe he’s just not super keen about that) but there’s so much of it that if it’s not meant to mean something… someone in that writers room is doing an evil snicker.

omg never a bother - i love talking theories and devil's minion! i have no sanity left with them

GODD the way this show conflates the Dark Gift with marriage and how lestat turned louis on the alter and daniel proposing armand turn him so they'll be together and equals.......but yea lol, alice is clearly meant to stand out as odd. you are so right that placing that memory in 1985 is weird. they'd be well aware tvc fans would notice that. there's...a lot of weird questions that surround daniel, and by extension, armand. i am fascinated with why armand needed to hurt daniel with alice. he's the one who brings her up and he lets louis hurt him with her memory just enough to unsettle him before soothing his pain. that's armand's thing - i am the hand and the balm (i was literally bothering oldbutchdaniel today about armand/amadeo/daniel and how their dynamic is just reynold/alma and control and care ughh armand you need to settle down!!!) anyway, yea past devil's minion happened to me, but alice is a very real person (i think daniel left armand for her or some mix of that). 70s dm is the only logical reasoning for the show to establish armand would never turn someone only to turn someone a day lateri. armand loves daniel and cant bear him leaving/dying. the end!

also tbh i think the timeline for past dm makes way more sense than i think people believe but you have to subscribe to loumandaniel+dubai is loumand trinity gate era in order to see the vision lol

[shelbgrey]

Hi! Do you write for the squinterns from bones if yes could you write one for any of them where y/n is hodgins' daughter/sister and is goth and into conspiracies if you don't feel comfortable or just don't want to feel free to ignore this

Being Hodgins' sister and being a goth Squintern

Paring: Goth!Reader x Squinterns

Summary: headcanons about two Squinterns being in love and one loves conspiracies.

A/n: sorry that it's short or I got a few things wrong.

MasterList

So, the Squinterns are like one big disfunctional family that can't live without each other.

It's established from the start your goth, but I think that your personality would conderdict that. Meaning your very bubbly and and smiley.

Everyone is always fascinated by your look, your fishnets, leather, dark makeup, and many piercings always draw people towrds you rather you want it or not.

“did it hurt?” Vincent asked, referring to your nose piercing. “only for a sec, what you talking about getting one?”

Your looks might also have outsiders questioning or logic or capabilities. If someone talks down towrds you the Squinterns and your brother will always have your back.

Even Dr. Brennan has told off a few people.

Your bright and loving personality would confuse Colin Fisher for a moment and he'd ask a bunch of questions beacuse on the outside you look like someone he'd hang out with, but once he got to know you, you guys became quite close.

“what kinda Goths have you hung around? All the ones I've met are literally the best people ever” you respond to his confusion.

Fisher appreciated that you saw him more than just a weird and gloomy guy, you would talk about movies and make him laugh with your harmless conspiracy theories.

You guys soon became best friends through mutual interests and understanding of each others worth and true colors.

Which leads him into falling for you, he doesn't know how to handle theses feeling nor dose he want to destroy the most important relationship he has.

Your Favorite person to work with his Wendell, nothing like a good ol golden retriever and black cat relationship. Your not really a 'black cat', but people might give you that label when they see your outsides.

Wendell loves you, in a brotherly way of course. You, him, and your brother Jack become this amazing trio. If Wendell isn't with Jack he's with you.

There has been many times Wendell has helped pick out hair Dye and other ecesories with you.

“was thinking black and blue for my hair, what do you think?”

“like a dip and faid thing or whole head?” he asked.

You were there to comfort and support him throughout the time he was fight cancer. “I'll shave my head with you”

“no, you love your hair” he quickly said. “okay... I'll just die it the cancer awareness colors and shave just the side” you smile.

You would grow a small crush on Arastoo Vaziri, but with his belief system you were scared to tell him how you feel.

He of course didn't care, he fell in love with your compassion and personality. The way you looked didn't bother him, he thought you were beautiful and he didn't care what his family thought either.

You guys would date for a little while to the dismay of Fisher. He would put his feelings aside though, and continued to be your best friend no matter how much it hurt.

You would think Finn Abernathy is literally the cutest person alive, you love hearing his southern drawl and his little sayings.

He thinks your dark and mysterious at first, but when you heard you and Wendell having a debate on which Disney princess was the best he knew there was more too you.

Which made him want to talk to you more and get to know you.

He loves hearing your conspiracy theories no matter how much some of them might freak him out.

You and Daisy don't get along, plane and simple. Your a sweet person, but her hyper and 'look at me' attitude rubed you the wrong way.

You also didn't like how she would stare at you like you were from another planet. “take a picture, it'll last longer”

The other jeffersonian residents have never really heard you talk like at. They didn't like the way daisy treated you and jack had a proud big brother moment.

She also didn't like how close you and Lance got. “hey Sweetheart” you would say to him, the nickname was in a Platonic way and you used that because of his last name.

Daisy didn't get that. “don't call him that”

“it's better than Lancealot, and last time I checked he's not your boyfriend anymore”

You and Clark Edison don't talk much, you find each other weird but you have high respect for each other.

You read his book and didn't really like how he worded things, it was obvious he was a new writer. He suprisenly thought of you as a friend so you never told him the full truth about the book.

You love hearing Vincent Nigel-Murray's facts and most of the time you have a conspiracy theory to bounce off of it, there has been many time you both had a playful back a forth that intertaned the whole lab.

When he died it crushed you, he was a true friend and a total sweetheart in your eyes. You can't listen to the song 'lime in the coconut' without crying now.

Losing him made you relize how precious a life is, you'd think your line of work would do that, but no. After Vincent died you made sure to always check up on Fisher and ask how his mental health was, or you'll make a joke to make Finn laugh. You'd make sure to give Wendell a hug everyday and make sure to tell Arastoo you love him everyday.

You just want the Squinterns to know how much they mean to you.

Wendell said your the heart and soul of the group of squints, you keep everyone together. It'll warm your hear when he said that, but then you'd bring up a stimulation conspiracy theory. Wendell would just laugh while Finn would back up his statement.

They love every part of you.

[slythereen]

what’s funny to me about that harry styles blog’s comments is how they’re bringing the exact vibe of the directioners/harries (take everything way too seriously, everything is a conspiracy theory) to here (where everyone is at the end of the day just really trying to have fun once the post race emotions are in control)

trust me, i was there for a decade (no, they aren’t doing that well thank you for asking lmao)

[just to be clear that this came in while i was responding to @loveyougoodbi here and while it does sort of fit that question (ironically), it is not anon's official response as far as i know]

pretty applicable to so many early 2010s (2000s??? am i old??) fandoms lbr. like when you think about it, we were such a cursed country for a very long time! perhaps there is no escape! it's a cycle!

also i love a good conspiracy theory and definitely take shit too seriously 50% of the time so far be it from me to judge that aspect 😅 so far they've been relatively polite and orderly! they might be extremely incorrect and misinformed (sorry if you see this), but decent enough about it. i'll take it

[homicidalfantrolls]

Save the Scratches

A view into that I bet you’re wondering how I got here moment.

Khirti, Dia and Leo belong to @trollcafe

Doc

—

The more you pondered and the harder you thought about the situation at hand, the more convinced you become that the entire thing had to be some sort of divine prank. Had you been one to dabble in conspiracy theories (or just day to day fleet operations as some would claim) you would be insistent that this was all orchestrated beyond your pathetic attempts to do so. A two step plan. Go to the ball. Ask Dia to dance. Dance with him. Answer the question that you’d been too chicken shit to do months ago. Profit.

Instead, you became tangled in a spider’s web made of silk you could spend the next fifteen sweeps in the fleet working towards and still not be able to afford a yard of.

Dionis pays no attention to you or his matesprit as he examines various fabrics and patterns. He and the seamstress go back and forth, tittering on about inseams and waist sizes and words you had half a mind to believe they made up on the spot. Leo had been smart enough to bring a puzzle book with him. You only had your bouncing leg and enough anxiety to run a steam engine.

“Can I have a page?” You finally ask the massive seadweller next to you.

“It’s sudoku,” Leo responds, deadpan and without looking up from his book.

“So? I like puzzles.”

“You liked building and assembling,” Leo corrects, as if what he said made any bit of sense.

“What does—“

You’re cut off by Dionis returning. For the first time since he left, Leonra lifts his attention from his book to look upon his matesprit. Leo had always had his emotions under lock and key, his expressions never revealing much. Whether that was because of his dealings with Deepbite or it was the way he’d always been, you couldn’t say.

What you could say, however, was how much happier he seemed since you last saw him. Leo had always carried himself stiffly, something your foolish younger self had attributed to ego. While he still carried himself with a similar stiffness, it was now due to the pain plaguing his leg instead of the fear of being ambushed at any moment.

That was a level of guilt you didn’t have the brain capacity to process right now.

“Your suit will be ready in a few days. Plenty of time for adjustments,” Dionis informs you with a pleasant chirp to his voice. There was no denying he was much more excited about this whole endeavor than you were.

“Dionis, I—“

“I’m going to hope you’re planning to thank me instead of complain about cost or try to back out of this. I get enough of that from Leonra,” he interrupts with a flick of his tail. “You were much more receptive to this than he usually is. Don’t ruin this for me, dear. Don’t forget whose hive you're sleeping at. You go back to that motel and the conversation will be about the smell, not the mysterious purpleblood galavanting around.”

While there was too much in his words to unpack, you find yourself settling on the least frightening aspect of it.

“But I’m not…a purpleblood.”

“Maybe not. But you are a cusp, dear. You’ve always lived as the lesser end of what you truly are. I think, just for one night, you deserve to act like the half of yourself you were never allowed to show off. Don’t you?”

—

“He’s been waiting for you.”

The voice that suddenly speaks next to you startles you so terribly that you slap your poor whiskey clean off the counter.

Khirti follows the flight of your glass before turning her attention back to you. Without even so much as a pause, she waves the bartender over.

“Get him another whiskey, will you? Top shelf this time. Not whatever motor oil he had before. I’ll take another as well.”

Whether she didn’t notice your discomfort or just didn’t care, Khirti hops up to sit on the bar in front of you. She stretches one leg over the other, crossing metal over metal in a display that makes your chest ache painfully.

“You can’t pretend you haven’t seen him. Bitch is lit up like a damn road flare. We almost matched but then I’d outshine Tori and defeat the whole point of dragging his grumpy ass here.”

The bartender sets the drinks down in front of you, which earns him a fifty caeger bill from her wallet that she’d stashed in her top.

“Don’t act so surprised, Pip. Dia may not have told you but I’m a social media manager now. I’m sure he told you about our moirail. Gigs like these are a great way to get sponsorships and interest up. Also lets Tori flare his feathers out. Long story short, it pays to do a job for a guy who has no idea what a reasonable amount to pay you is. Also helps to date him.”

Words were not your friend at the moment. Your throat burned despite your whiskey remaining untouched. Your head remained turned away from the women at the bar, your gaze remained fixed on the bottles behind it. The labels were impossible to read from this distance, even from someone with the perfect vision of a pilot. You pretend you can read them anyway. Your brain makes up fake names for the liquor, fictional brands and slogans of vodka and whiskey and tequila.

Twin Sunset lime flavored vodka.

Rocket brand wine cooler.

Cherry tequila brought to you by Radio Silence.

Flower Vodka; An explosion of flavor.

Enjoy the free fall sensation of Loose Screw beer.

Relish the subtle taste of watching the most important figure in your life blow up because you fucked up repairs on your own plane so they couldn’t stay in the air, die because you weren’t fast enough to save her or were too selfish to give up your life to, never be able to look her father in the eyes or—

“You still with me?”

Once again, the sound of Khirti’s voice startled you. Your whiskey thankfully remained unharmed, though your ego did not. Your face feels warm under your mask, your ears pinning back ever so slightly.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Not used to seeing you zoning out. You were usually more vocal about when you were annoying someone.”

You don’t say anything. You’re not sure it’s a choice or an inability to form words. Your throat was closing up, preventing enough air to form coherent thought from entering your body. It was still enough for you to try desperately to come up with an excuse to leave.

“Khirti—“

“Dia told me you decked Mavrik.”

For not the first time since Khirti came over, you find yourself grateful for your mask. While you couldn’t be certain of what expression lie beneath, you do know that your tongue felt dry after you forget to close your mouth.

You swallow, hopefully not as audible to her as it was to you. Your chest burns with a different emotion, one you hadn’t felt since you had punched the man.

“…I did.”

“Why?”

“He’s…not who everyone thinks he is.”

“Dia told me it’s because he lied about how Daisee died. Because you said it was your fault.”

You didn’t know they planned to open the windows. You don’t know why they would in the middle of winter. Maybe you should tell them to close them. Even under your heavy fur cloak, you could feel the chill in the air.

Khirti, however, does not. Despite her dress only containing enough fabric to barely fit the definition, she didn’t flinch. She was as still as the stone countertop she sat upon, her metal legs staying crossed and unmoving.

“K-Khirti, please—“ you stammer, your voice barely above a whisper. It barely reaches your own ears. Through your mask and the commotion of the ball, one couldn’t be sure you had even spoken at all.

Khirti, however, heard you perfectly clearly.

“Tell me what happened.”

“I-I-my plane—“

“No, no. Tell me what happened to make you think it was your fault. Everyone knows it was a conspiracy. Everyone knows they were trying to kill me, that they wanted it to look like an accident or incompetence. That Daisee just…got caught up in. So tell me why you think her dying and me losing my legs had anything to do with you. When everyone else knows it didn’t.”

Your chest burns like fire. Your throat felt similar to how it did after every day of special ops training. Of screaming back at your drill sergeant, of swallowing ice cold seawater after as punishment.

“I…Khi—“

“Not now, Pip. Not tonight. There’s more important things going on tonight. Like a sexy limeblood who’s been waiting for you to answer his damn question for the past four months.”

Khirti hops off the bar, landing gracefully on the marble floor.

“Don’t be a stranger, Pip. I’m glad you’re back.”

And with a hand on your shoulder and a kiss to your mask, Khirti was gone.

You had only a few moments to stare into the glass of whiskey before the devil spoken of appears.

—

When Dia leaves, your anxieties are confirmed.

There was no chance, on any planet, in any galaxy, in any universe you had the balls to pull this off. What the hell were you thinking? You weren’t some kind of knight in shining armor, an action movie hero who could sweep him off his feet all suave and ask him to be your matesprit. You had imagined that scene over and over again to the point that if they asked you to direct a movie on it, you could do it with your eyes closed.

But now that you were here, you’re once again reminded of just how in over your head you were. You didn’t come up with any of this, this wasn’t your plan, your idea. Your original operation was to just…come down here, plain as day, and hope to run into him. Running into Leonra and Dionis was the fluke to end all flukes. Leonra saw no issue with your idea. It was unfortunately his matesprit who had to call you both idiots.

The only reason you hadn’t attended in your normal attire was him. The only reason you got his opinion was a fluke. He would forgive you for wasting his time, right? Leo too. He didn’t want to come but Dionis would have dragged him anyways, independent of him wanting to watch all this play out. It would be fine.

—

“Don’t be a pussy.”

Leonra’s deadpan tone hit you like a frying pan to the back of the head. You attempt to stammer an excuse out before Dionis interrupts you.

“Honestly, dear. You’ve come all this way. Quite literally, I might add. You took the week off and everything. You’re really planning to leave without saying even a word to him?”

“I…I don’t think he wants to see me. He didn’t know who I was but he flirted with me so I just—I think he’s moved on and that’s fine because I took too long but I don’t—it was a mistake coming here, I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, I just—“

“Almiss.”

Your rambling is cut off by Leonra’s voice. Your ears pin back under your mask. It’s Dionis who speaks next.

“It wasn’t a mistake coming here. I’ve seen him looking around the entire time. He’s waiting for you, even if neither of you realize it.”

Your frown deepens, eyes avoiding the couple under your mask.

“I just—“

“None of that,” Dionis interrupts you once more. “Look at me.”

You do.

“You love him, and he loves you. So you’re going to go over there and ask him to dance with you. Because if you don’t, I am repossessing that outfit I bought you, right here, in the middle of the ball.”

“And I’ll let him.” Leo chimed in, having returned his focus to his sudoku.

You can’t help but laugh. While still filled to the brim with anxiety, it still felt like a weight off your chest.

“Alright.”

[utilitycaster]

Has your work with the wiki informed how you interact with the fandom? Scrutinizing the source material so closely and all.

Oh definitely, and this is a great question.

I think, without getting too deep into weeds or bitterness, that my attitude towards aggressively non-canonical (or, frankly, anti-canonical) interpretations of ships or characters has shifted both because of my negative experiences with the Fandom wiki and because I effectively have to go over the happenings of each episode two or three times. Additionally, my deep dislike and distrust of conspiracy theories long pre-dates my work on wikis or even involvement with fandom, but now that I spend a decent amount of "fandom time" looking up citations, I have even less patience for it. There are so many wonderful sources beyond just the wiki! We have a transcript search! We have Dani's recaps! We have so many sourcebooks! We have a talkback/commentary show! Please, while I'd love for people to use and add to the wiki, at the very least, if you don't have time to watch or rewatch episodes in full, use these wonderful resources instead of relying on like, someone's personal silly little clip compilations to shape your understanding.

In terms of far more positive things, I think because wiki pages are changing, living documents, going back to them has given me a lot of insight that I might have forgotten. To give an example - just now, in summarizing the party's trip towards Yios, I ran across the fact that Imogen was asked if she wanted to give up her powers - if there were a cure, whether she'd take it - and she responded that while once she felt that way, she no longer does. I think Imogen's relationship with power is fascinating, and I think this puts her in contrast with Liliana in a new and interesting way that I'd love to explore further once we return to more direct conflict. This small moment says so much, but I'd forgotten it in the several months since it aired, and probably wouldn't have accessed again if I were not a wiki editor. I've also been doing a lot of work on editing out plagiarism, or fleshing out largely overlooked details, and it's a delight to get to revisit prior campaigns and see how everything fits together. I get both a very high level view of the world, and also get to zero in on tiny moments, like Veth shooting Caleb in the Vellum Steeple library, and I'm so grateful I get to relive that, and often my meta is informed by what I'm working on and what details I'm immersed in and the connections they spark.

Finally - while I'm obviously super opinionated here, on Tumblr, I think it's a really good and important exercise that I also spend time in a place where I need to consciously prioritize a neutral voice and give attention even to things I dislike. This is an entirely separate post so I won't derail myself but I think part of why I sometimes get extremely bizarre anons/responses is that I'm both someone who talks about CR on the whole, but also am open about my preferences (rather than running a blog that's highly focused on one character/ship nor being a true generalist blog that primarily reblogs art). Anyway, working on the wiki means that, for example, even if I'm really frustrated with an episode or a character or a relationship, I need to spend time and stop and ask myself what is actually happening, outside of my own feelings. I think this is a really good practice to have with fiction! I think you need to be able to do both and compartmentalize and switch between them; to say "what is the author/creator trying to say and how are they saying it and what is literally occurring" and also "how do I, an individual with my own unique perspective, feel about what's happening." Or at the very least, if you can't do this, you can still enjoy yourself, but you will always be preaching to the choir.

[gammaliminal]

Who are we? What are we?

we are gammaliminal, or liminal creatives. we are an account run by two entities, with a shared interest in obscure & mainstream source games and source itself, theory-crafting fan work & concepts as a love-letter of sorts to the work that inspires us, and are indie enthusiasts.

our two members are close. this statement will not be elaborated on.

ΔΘ | she/it - a brief introduction.

i am ΔΘ. i am a therian, neurodivergent and disabled queer game enthusiast with interests in old competitive titles such as classic tetris & melee, casual titles like minecraft & animal crossing, and source titles, including team fortress 2, counter-strike, half life (the source versions), fistful of frags and others. For miscellaneous game interests, i enjoy games such as combat master, celeste, ultrakill, vrchat and any game produced by stress level zero.

i created this blog for me and Ξλ to have a shared space to post about our ideas, and also for us to just casually lurk through tumblr. partially due to account restrictions on post viewing.

notes

- i did not come up with the idea of associating ΔΘ with an indicator of being therian. I am simply using that tag as a self-indicator here due to how significant being therian is to me.

- contrary to Ξλ's notes, it did not bother me for this page. it just kept lightly asking for a lil while because i kept forgetting :3c

- i may accidentally ignore questions, responses or anything of the sort. i forget to respond to those things a lot due to recurring memory problems o-o

Ξλ | it/its - a brief introduction².

i am Ξλ! a self-described "mad artist" who's heavily neurodivergent and very queer with a from-birth enthusiasm with games. examples of favorites include anything source engine related*, rivals of aether, darkwood, most frictional games stuff, deep rock galactic, receiver 1 and receiver 2, world of horror, ftl and into the breach, gloomwood, and alien: isolation.

if you don't know some or any of those, then yeah that's expected >:3c

i bothered ΔΘ for us having a shared space to post and share our weiirrrddd ideas. also, to let us be able to browse tumblr without being accosted, by tumblr.

notes

- Ξλ is a tag i came up with by myself, i have no idea if it means anything beyond as my tag.

- *does not include the cautionary tale of Hunt Down the Freeman.

Current Projects

- Neon Troupe

- heavily inspired by OW and TF2, basically ripping off the feel of playing TF2 since no game has done it before, also will be built in source - we are heavily underqualified - project intro

- Project Theta

- potentially a half-life fangame? currently ironing out things like the campaign, different NPC's and weapons. - meant to be more so a scrappy survival-horror upward battle

- Unnamed TF2C Projects

- team fortress 2 classic mods that add various bits of content! including cut content that will be revived, our own regular custom content ideas, and absolutely outrageous, silly shit.

- Project Strangelove

- inspired by the tone of tf2, this is a spoof on spy thrillers set in an alternate 60s where you are assembling a conspiracy! also may be known later as How to Stop Worrying.

- Project Liminality (finally something relating to liminal spaces /lh)

- a 90s corporate cosmic horror roguelike job survival sim inspired by amnesia: the bunker and alien: isolation.

- Project Spite

- a strategy-horror game based around being a ragtag group of survivors, surviving a S.T.A.L.K.E.R.-style zone of magical shit (TM). - main theme is surviving with your comrades no matter what, subsisting on spite alone if nothing else.

- A Catastrophe, In Hindsight

- a retrofuturistic coop class-based game about surviving the workday hopefully unscathed - Has a social-deduction-style gamemode layered on top of it with most traitors still wanting to get through the day - project intro