#you wouldn’t survive an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[ofstoriesandstardust]

living at home in your twenties again after being independent for a few years is brutal. what do you mean i have to cook dinner for people who won’t eat it, have my beverages taken, and live in a state of filth all while i cry in frustration in my (also not clean) shower

[josephinekhawaja]

everything she does after this point is valid, warranted, legitimate, justifiable

[amorcie]

I’ve been stuck here six hours that’s why I can’t shut up

[lilliancdoodles]

you wouldn’t survive an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[kadextra]

you wouldn’t survive an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[merrygoesaround]

THE POPPY WAR AS TAYLOR SWIFT LYRICS

rin-nezha: “cause i loved you, i swear i loved you. till my dying day. i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace, and you’re the hero flying around saving face. and if im dead to you why are you at the wake? cursing my name, wishing i stayed.” “and you can aim for my heart go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones.” “YOU HAD TO KILL ME BUT IT KILLED YOU JUST THE SAME.”

my tears ricochet

rin-nezha: “i vowed not to fight anymore, if we survived the great war.” “it turned into something bigger. somewhere in the haze, got a sense i’ve been betrayed.”

the great war

rin-kitay: “if im on fire, you’ll be made of ashes too.”

my tears ricochet

rin-kitay(sinegard days): “but i can see us lost in the memory, august slipped away into a moment of time. cause it was never mine.” “back when i was living for the hope of it all, for the hopeee of it all.”

august

rin-kitay(sinegard days): “and i know it’s long gone and there was nothing else i could do.” “cause there we are again in the middle of the night. we’re dancing round’ the kitchen in the refrigerator lights. down the stairs, i was there. i remember it all too well.”

all too well

rin-venka: “cause all of my enemies started out friends. help me hold onto you.”

the archer

venka: “and they tell you that you’re lucky but you’re so confused, cause you don’t feel pretty. you just feel used.”

the lucky one

venka: “they told me all of my cages were mental, so i got wasted like all my potential. and my words shoot to kill when im mad. i have a lot of regrets about that.”

this is me trying

rin-jiang: “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby. look at this idiotic fool that you made me. you’ve taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else.”

illicit affairs

rin: “time wont fly it’s like im paralyzed by it. i’d like to be my old self again but im still trying to find it.”

all too well

rin: “please, i’ve been on my knees, change the prophecy.”

the prophecy

rin: “whose afraid of little old me? i was tame, i was gentle, til the circus life made me mean. don’t you worry folks, we took out all her teeth.”

whose afraid of little old me

altan: “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.”

whose afraid of little old me

rin-kesegi: “and though i can’t recall your face, i’ve still got love for you.”

seven

rin-altan: “and isn’t it just so pretty to think, all along there was some invisible string… tying you to me.”

invisible string

rin,kitay,nezha-the trifecta: “i think i’ve seen this film before, and i didn’t like the ending.”

exile

[wackytheorist]

you wouldn’t survive an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[graaaaaayy]

You wouldn’t last an hour in the

✨asylum✨ where they raised me

in honor of IB exam season. Good luck to everyone taking them I hope you survive, preferably with your sanity intact

[thelovelyfawnsworld]

I can’t help but think about Elain when I listen to Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

I can’t help but be reminded of the things she endured and the nasty things this fandom has said about her while I listen to this song. So here are some lyrics from the song that is just so Elain coded:

You don't get to tell me about sad… I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?

Most people often disregard Elain’s trauma. I’ve read people defend Nesta’s nasty behavior towards other people, they always say that it was because of her trauma. But they would tear Elain to shreds because she spent months in her room, withering away after they had been turned into Faes. That she should’ve just told her sisters what she was seeing instead of babbling poetic nonsense to them and wasting away.

If you could understand Nesta’s response to trauma, why couldn’t you understand Elain? Nesta wasn’t the only one who went through tons of trauma. In fact, it is explicitly stated in the book that Elain was the one who had so much to lose. She was engaged to a human, she was supposed to marry and have a future with that man even if he was a fae-hating human. She wanted that future with him and was looking forward to it. But suddenly she’s kidnapped, dunked into a massive tub, turned into a fae after who knows what she experienced inside that tub, and then she suddenly kept seeing things she couldn’t comprehend.

Of course, Elain would grieve for her human life. She did not only grieve the death of her humanity but also the death of her future family that she was looking forward to create. She grieved silently and she was miserable.

The scandal was contained… At all costs, keep your good name. You don't get to tell me you feel bad.

Now, this might be a little bit of a head cannon. But in my mind the scandal in this line would be that fateful night with Azriel which Rhysand stopped when he caught them. It would have been a scandal, an issue if they were caught by Elain’s supposed mate. There would have been repercussions that may lead to another conflict or war. But thankfully, Rhysand had contained that scandal by ordering Azriel from ever pursuing whatever they had.

Now, Elain must keep her good name, be the good little girl she is, and play as a pawn in this little political chess game that Rhysand and the other high lords are playing. But in my head, they don’t get to tell Elain that they feel bad for her if they ever see her act negatively, or even act sad because of what happened between her and Azriel. They don’t get to tell her they feel bad when they had caused it. (I’m looking at you, Rhysand.)

You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

In this line, I am reminded of the people who always complain about Elain’s character, how boring she is because she’s not the typical strong warrior-like female protagonist like her sisters. But really, you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised her. You wouldn’t last an hour in Mama Archeron’s grooming. You wouldn’t survive being controlled all your life like Elain.

'Cause you lured me

This reminds me of that dream Feyre had in ACOWAR where Elain had been lured by this image of Graysen, only to be captured by Hybern. Yup, that’s the only thought I have here.

You caged me and then you called me crazy

“You caged me,” everyone caged Elain to be this sweet, soft, kind, and gentle woman. She was caged by the expectations of other people. She is expected to follow the image that was set upon her at a younger age. She was often stifled by the people around her.

And then, when she acted differently, when she started babbling nonsense and just staring with a glazed look, the same people thought she was going crazy.

I am what I am 'cause you trained me

Again, readers may find Elain boring and so bland. But she is this sweet, gentle, and soft lady because she was trained to be like this. She is like this because she was groomed. How would she break free from this mold if all her life, she’s been taught to be like this? If she was never given a chance?

I’m sorry that Elain was a victim of grooming, that she couldn’t fit the standard you created for a female protagonist. I’m sorry that she doesn’t fit the mold that you created for an exciting protagonist.

this is what happens when your two hyperfixation is taylor swift and elriel

[feminist-cult-following]

pretty little liars: summer school characters as taylor swift songs

imogen adams: you’re on your own, kid, who’s afraid of little old me?, I can do it with a broken heart

“I looked around in a blood soaked gown and I saw something they can’t take away”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me / you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“I cry a lot but I am so productive, it’s an art / you know you’re good when you can even do it with a broken heart”

tabby haworthe: the smallest man who ever lived, long story short, the manuscript

“I’ll forget you but I’ll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“long story short it was bad time / long story short I survived”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“then the actors were hitting their marks / and the slow dance was alight with the sparks / and the tears fell in synchronicity with the score / and at last she knew what the agony had been for / the only thing that’s left is the manuscript”

noa olivar: …ready for it?, high infidelity, don’t blame me

“knew I was a robber first time that he saw me / stealing hearts and running off and never saying sorry”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“do you really wanna know where I was april 29th? / do I really have to tell you how she brought me back to life?”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“don’t blame me love made me crazy / if it doesn’t you ain’t doing it right”

faran bryant: mad woman, this is me trying, the man 

“what did you think I’d say to that? / does a scorpion sting when fighting back? / they strike to kill and you know I will”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere / fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“if I was man, then I’d be the man”

mouse honrada: a place in this world, I hate it here, snow on the beach

“but life goes on / oh, I’m just a girl / trying to find a place in this world”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“I’m lonely but I’m good / I’m bitter but I swear I’m fine / I’ll save all my romanticism for my inner life”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“and it’s like snow on the beach, weird but fucking beautiful”

kelly beasley: would’ve, could’ve, should’v, seven, guilty as sin?

“oh, you’re a crisis of my faith / would’ve, could’ve, should’ve / if I’d only played it safe”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“your dad is always mad and that must be why / and i think you should come live with me and we can be pirates / then you won’t have to cry / or hide in the closet”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

“what if I roll the stone away? / they’re gonna crucify me anyway”

[raisedbythetv89]

who’s afraid of little old me is speaking to the emotional experience of what it’s like to be the person villains always create who is destined to bring about their ultimate demise

Someone who didn’t used to be a threat becomes the greatest threat because of the chronic abuse they suffered at the hands of said villains they will ultimately destroy and defeat

It stunningly captures how painful the process is to become that person, how crazy and trapped you feel at times and how angry you are at the people who created this version of yourself that they hate and want killed

IF YOU HAD JUST LEFT ME ALONE THIS VERSION OF ME WOULD NEVER HAD EXISTED YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT HOW DARE YOU HATE ME WHEN I AM WHAT I AM BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!

when people abuse and traumatize you and then get really angry and attack you even more when you show said signs of that trauma and abuse

cause you lured me

and you hurt me

and you taught me

you caged me

and then you called me crazy

I am what I am cause you trained me

and then people who aren’t abused at least in the ways you were and don’t actually know you see the powerful person you’ve become as apart of this horrible process and envy you

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

so then you have people hating you just because you managed to survive and build something stronger out of so much pain and suffering!!! Which makes you feel batshit fucking crazy because you’re like I didn’t choose this!!! I didn’t want this!! This just happened to me and I somehow survived!!!! How dare you act like you know anything about what it’s like to be me and have the AUDACITY to envy the extremely painful life I was forced to lead!?!?!?!?

[dearestgentlereaders]

I think the way some swifties are jumping down chappell’s throat for how she’s handling this situation but then go on to brag about taylor is honestly weird as fuck. it shows they didn’t really understand the crux of TTPD which is just how fucking horrible being famous is and how the industry is like a blood sucking leach draining you of your life force. the same people who quote ‘you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me’ yet jump straight to the offensive when someone is literally struggling surviving the asylum and trying to find a way to stand with two feet on the ground. it is spelt out by taylor how hard survival is and she had all these toxic coping mechanisms and how she bottled it all up and it made her manic. not everyone is going to respond the same way as her and you can’t put everyone’s coping mechanisms to the same standard as taylor’s. even taylor couldn’t live up to those standards which is what she talks about throughout the entirity of TTPD. so this vitriol being spewed at chappell, who is quite frankly new to being at the height of fame and clearly struggling to cope is crazy to me. we have literally seen it happen to taylor and I would never want to see it happen to anyone else. I am in no way denying how wrong it is to disappoint her fans by cancelling her shows so close but it is also not wrong of her to be unsure of how to deal with this amass of hate that is being targeted towards her. both things can be right at the same time.

[dearaugust13]

“You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me”

It’s interesting because it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the lives of the rich and famous. Sometimes we struggle to just survive. Sometimes the days are so endless. She’s a smart, pretty billionaire with everything. But that’s just the surface of her life. Would we really trade it all?

[emmafallsinlove]

מצד אחד נועה באמת יכולה להיות דביו (the outside / a place in the world) אבל מצד שני, היא כל כך טט��ד coded שזה מלחיץ קצת. כאילו כ ן, waolom זה מאוד נועה בעונה 2, בעיקר גם החלק הזה

שזה מרגיש לי מאוד נועה בעונה 3, מתחילה לעמוד על שלה ואומרת למייקי שכן, הפריע לה שהם לא נלחמו עליה והם יכלו לעשות יותר. וגם, you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me מרגיש לי שממש ממש יכול להתאים לאיך שהיא גדלה והסביבה ממנה היא הגיעה והבית שלה והצמחים וכל זה.

וואו, אברמור לצימר זה משהו שלא חשבתי עליו בכלל. כאילו, זה האלבום האהוב עליי מכל האלבומים של טיילור כי הוא כזה מלנכולי ודיכאוני כזה קצת, אבל עכשיו אני חושבת על זה שאולי אייבי יכול להתאים לה בהקשר שלה ושל טולי (my house of stone, your ivy grows and now i’m covered in you) וכל מה שקרה ביניהן בעונה 2 ל-3 וההתפתחות האישית של צימר, וגם אולי… אולי שמפיין פרובלמס? או אפילו closure למערכת היחסים שלה ושל ספיר שהתמוטטה בעונה 2 וכל הקטע של yes i got your letter yes i’m doing better בהקשר של ההקלטות הקוליות שלה. אולי אפילו long story short שכזה, long story short it was a bad time long story short i survived בהקשר הכללי של צה״ל ואיך צה״ל כבר שבר אותה.

פולקלור למייקי וואוווו כן! לא רק בהקשר של בטי, אלא אולי גם peace בהקשר של צליל ושלו? אבל בקטע מלוכלך כזה, לא בקטע שהשיר מתכוון אליו. קארדיגן מושלם בהקשר של מייקי, אולי אפילו mirrorball להתחלה כשהוא רק מגיע?

צליל לרפ וואו וואו וואו עף לי המוח. בהתחלה חשבתי לקשר לה את לאבר בגלל דה מאן, אבל כאילו look what you made me do וi did something bad זה כל כך ��ליל בהקשר של היציאה לקצונה אבל גם…. ספיק נאו…. אולי castle crumbling שהיא חוזרת לבסיס בעונה 3 והכל קורס סביבה? הטירה שלה (הבסיס) מתרסקת, וגם אולי foolish one ואני לא בטוחה לגבי דיר ג׳ון בהקשר של חגו (כאילו, אני מבינה מאיפה זה בא, אני פשוט צריכה לחשוב על זה)

וחגו, כאילו, טוב, חגו חייבת להיות רפ. כאילו לג׳יט. אבל אני מרגישה שאולי גם חייב להיות לה עומק ולא בא לי לשים לה רפ כי זה הכי קל 😩 (זה באמת הכי קל בהקשר שלה)

קיצר וואו נהניתי מזה ממש ואפשר שהם ירוצו עוד? פשוט נראה לי שהפורמט יעבוד אם הם ירוצו ויהיו בבגדים אזרחיים יותר ופחות במדי צה״ל 😂

ישראבלר - אם אתם צופים במפקדת ואוהבים את טיילור סוויפט (ברמה של להכיר את האלבומים שלה + את השירים, בונוס אם אתם סוויפטיז) בבקשה תצרו איתי קשר, אני רוצה להכין עריכה של דמויות מהמפקדת כאלבומים של טיילור וצריכה עזרה בדקויות קטנות ובחירת שירים 🙏🏼

[i-like-writing-stuff]

definitely love [five hargreeves x reader]

request:  Could you do a Five x reader fic where the reader is kidnapped by the Handler and Five comes to save them. Thx

a/n: it’s kinda short, but i feel like it’s pretty sweet, i guess??? the only warning is some curse words here and there cause i cant help myself and maybe the handler being like a huge y/n x five shipper lmao

perhaps therell be a part 2???

summary: when the handler kidnaps you, don’t you dare think five wouldn’t come to your rescue as soon as possible.

“Listen, lady!” You yelled, rolling your eyes at your former boss, “I have no idea where that dipshit is, alright?!”

The Handler raised a brow at your seventh burst this hour, taking a long drag out of her cigarette, before puffing out the smoke with a laugh, “I’m sorry- I can’t take your seriously when your boobs haven’t even kicked in yet.”

“Oh, you did not go there.” You squinted your eyes at her, trying to launch forward, but to no avail, as the Handler kept on laughing at your attempts of attacking her.

You only laid back in your seat, feeling the ropes around you squeeze you into place. You had been tied to that chair for the past three hours, although no real torture had been inflicted upon you- other than having to listen to the Handler talk for three hours.

Even when you worked for her in the Commission you didn’t like her much. She was too extra, too much work for you, in spite of her gorgeous sense of fashion. All you wanted to do was retire as soon as possible, but when Five Hargreeves got a job there, your world was turned upside down and before you knew it, you were a teenager again, in 2019, trying to stop the apocalypse with his other siblings.

Except that you failed, and you ended up in 1963... with another apocalypse on its way... because somehow you brought it with you.

“What do you even want with him?” You asked, as she stopped laughing to drag another long puff out of her lit cigar.

“Let’s just say I have a deal.” She smirked, turning to you, “And I need to make sure you two will hear me out.”

“Is that why you kidnapped me and brought me here?” You raised a brow, looking around the abandoned warehouse, “That’s cliche.”

“What’ll be cliche is if he finally admits to having feelings for you when he comes to your rescue.” The Handler scoffed, making you raise a brow at her, “Oh, please- we all had bets going on in the Commission on the two of you.”

“Wonderful...” You dryly said, shaking your head in disbelief.

However, somewhere deep within you, you hoped that what the Handler said would become true. You met Five on his first day working for the Commission and you quickly warmed up to each other since you had basically the same personalities, but you, yourself, were having a hard time understanding your feelings. 

You found that sarcastic piece of shit adorable and charming, but you were not gonna admit it to his face- you didn’t need him to get even cockier. He may or may not have shown in the past two weeks signs that he shared your feelings, but you decided not to put that much thought into it, since saving the world was the number on priority on your list.

“Hey!” Five’s voice suddenly rang through the room, as he stumbled in, holding Lila by the arm.

“Lila?” You wondered, confused by the presence of Diego’s crazy girlfriend which he picked up from a... well, crazy house.

“Well done.” The Handler smirked, placing her hands in the pockets of her coat.

“What is Lila doing here?” You frowned, watching as Five threw her on the floor, glaring at the Handler, “Five!”

“You were right to think she is familiar.” Five told you, placing his foot on Lila’s neck, “She is one of them.”

You perked your brows upon hearing the news, looking at the girl on the floor. She helped Diego escape the mental asylum and she’s been on his side ever since, but when you first laid eyes on her, you couldn’t help but get a familiar vibe off her.

Until you realized...

“That’s your kid?” You turned to the Handler, “The girl you adopted?”

You had heard years ago that during a task, somehow the Handler returned with a little girl, but you didn’t put that much thought into it, even if it was a bit strange. Five had a job in London and the Handler accompanied him, but you figured she just wanted to get some- come on, she is really creepy and kinda flirty!

“What?” Five raised a brow, looking at the girl beneath his foot.

“No matter.” The Handler said, stepping towards you, “Here we are... together again.”

“Yeah, it’s a real party.” You sarcastically said, “Ow!” You immediately yelped, as the Handler pulled on your rope, making you jerk back against the chair back, causing Five to tense up.

“I’ve gotta ask.” The Handler said, not once letting go of the rope, making sure the grip on you would be tightened, causing Lila to laugh, even if her throat was being stepped on, “Did you miss me, you little shit? Or did you miss your little girlfriend more?”

“I’ve been gone for only three hours.” You chimed in, making Five shake his head in disbelief, “Besides... nobody ever misses you, really.”

Five decided to put on the same tough guy act, not wanting to reveal his concern, because truth be told- when you didn’t show up at the family meeting that morning, he began feeling stressed. It was not like you not to show up, especially since his brothers and sisters treated you like their own, so that made him tense. 

But, when Lila showed outside the store with a smirk on her lips, he knew immediately she had something to do with it.

Because, truth be told, you were not expecting to let yourself get kidnapped by the Handler. Yeah, she was a great assassin, but you had been holding the title of the best agent in the Commission for the past seven years. That was, before betraying it to help Five save the world and his family.

“Ah, this one.” The Handler smiled sarcastically, letting go of you in order to push you forward.

“Woah!” You yelped, almost losing balance off the chair if Five hadn’t caught you. 

Lila quickly got up coughing before Five could return, but he couldn’t care less. At least you seemed to be fine, no cuts or bruises- the Handler did nothing to you, she was just toying with him to ensure he’d come here to hear out her proposition.

“Now that we’ve made the exchange...” The Handler said, as Five started untying your ropes, “Lila, darling, would you give us a minute, please?”

“Go play with your toys or something...” You taunted the girl, getting up from the seat after three, long hours, rubbing your sore wrists.

“Yes, the grown-ups need to talk.” Five backed you up with a smirk, as Lila only rolled her eyes, walking away from the three of you, knocking something off a table angrily.

“Very mature.” You raised a brow, “I can see how she and Diego made quite the couple.”

“Don’t make me vomit, Y/N.” The Handler scoffed, before changing the subject nonchalantly, “So... do you two lovebirds like jazz?”

After an interesting discussion with the Handler, you and Five walked out of the warehouse in silence, contemplating your decision. She made you two a tough deal, which needed some time to be thought upon, but, unfortunately neither of you had that kind of luxury.

“You know, if we do take the deal...” You spoke up, turning to Five, causing him to stop in his tracks beside you curiously, “It’d be like... one last job together.”

You and Five had been on jobs together before, but you never officially called yourselves partners, even if your success rate was off the charts. You had a great teamwork, so you were not that surprised when the Handler chose you two for a job of this level and risk.

“I don’t even want to think about that just yet...” Five sighed, covering his face tiredly, “We still have another option.”

Your heart ached at the sight- watching Five rub his small face tiredly, all stressed out and overall exhausted, you truly felt bad. You tried helping him, after all that is why you followed him through time, but this was beyond you, and him. 

You knew how much Five loved his siblings, in spite of his attitude towards them. Everything he has done so far it was for him... and you.

You had no idea, but to Five it was surreal. He accepted the fact that he loved his brothers and sisters, but it took him a lot longer to accept that he was actually in love with you. However, it did make sense- you always made him feel better, ever since you guys met. He wasn’t sure if it was love at first sight, but right now, in this moment, he knew it was definitely love.

“But...” Five spoke up, putting on a weak smile, as he placed his hands in his pockets, “At least you are safe now.”

Hearing those words come out of his mouth, your knees felt like they were about to fail you. As Five looked into your eyes, you knew he was sincere, so you couldn’t help the heat rushing to your cheeks.

“All thanks to you.” You quickly smirked, trying to brush off the nervousness, “I mean... she could have picked any one of your siblings to provoke you, but I had the pleasure of spending three dreadful hours with her.” You sighed, folding your arms over your chest, “So, thank you for coming to my rescue.”

“Thank you for playing the damsel in distress.” Five teased you, playfully flicking your forehead as he picked up the pace, “If things don’t work out with dad, now we have a plan B.”

“Hey, don’t let it get to your head!” You quickly yelled, rushing to catch up to him, “I still am a trained assassin!”

“And how exactly did the Handler get her hands on you, then?” Five asked, brushing off the way you absentmindedly locked your arm with his in an attempt to slow him down.

“I was baking cookies.” You slightly shrugged with an innocent smile, “And Frank Sinatra came on the radio, so of course I blasted it through the kitchen.”

“How do you survive?” Five wondered, looking down at you with a small smile on his face, watching as your lips turned to a playful pout.

Yeah... it was definitely love he felt for you.

[duxhess-kryzewan]

I love your lawless AU. Perhaps a follow up where Obi-Wan deals with the consequences of his actions both with the council and his relationship with Satine?

- The Lawful, pt.2 - 

Time didn't feel real anymore. Hours could have passed and she wouldn't have known the difference. Her entire sense of reality had been uprooted so violently that everything felt like a fever dream.

She takes another deep breath and raises a hand to her neck, running the tips of her fingers over the faint bruises that had formed. She hadn't yet looked at them; the fear of seeing just how battered she really was rendering her paralyzed.

The room had been shrouded in darkness when she woke up, and for a moment she was able to fool herself into believing she was home on Mandalore in her own chambers. But reality swept over her within seconds and everything inside of her ached.

Anakin Skywalker was standing in Obi-Wans quarters when she wandered out of the bedroom, solemn expression written on his face and for a moment she had feared the worst.

To her relief, he was only there to inform her of Obi-Wans whereabouts. That the council had summoned him not long after he had delivered Satine to his room, and Anakin had volunteered to stay with her in case she had woken up, much to her appreciation. She would have been panicked should she have woken up alone with no indication of where Obi-Wan could be.

He made her a cup of tea and assured her that Obi-Wan would be back soon, before telling her that he was going to fetch Padme, who would have a fresh set of clothes for her amongst other things. It did bring her some form of comfort, if anyone would understand her struggle, it would be the former Queen of Naboo.

"He should be back soon," Anakin tells her before slipping out the door, "I can't imagine them keeping him for much longer."

And then he was gone, leaving her alone in Obi-Wans quarters. Had the circumstances been any different she surely would have marveled in the opportunity to finally see where the great Negotiator resided; but they weren't, and she couldn't bring herself to care. Her thoughts were too consumed with her people and what Maul had stolen from her to drift off anywhere else.

Her hands begin to shake; the horrors of the past few days crashing over her in waves and once again and the only thing she could do was sink to her knees and let the tide roll in.

--------- ​

Her breathing had just began to even out when she heard the door slide open and for a split second a chill runs through her, as if Maul had found her again and was here to finish the job.

But then a set of hands brush against her shoulders. When her eyes open, Obi-Wan is crouched in front of her, eyes just as tired as hers. Her skewed sense of time had prevented her from really knowing how long he had been gone.

"Satine."

Her name rolls off his tongue like a prayer whispered in the night; so broken yet hopeful all the same.

She looks to her hands. The shaking had subsided, but a numbness in her fingers had settled in. Was she falling apart physically just as much as she was mentally?

"I didn't know when you'd return." She says, voice quivering slightly.  

She watches as his gaze falls from her eyes to her neck. The expression she wore said all she needed to know. They were as unsightly as she had imagined they'd be.

"Truthfully neither did I," he tells her, "The council was less than pleased with my direct disregard of their orders."

"Are you in trouble?"

He smooths his hands down to hers and squeezes them tightly between his own. There's a desperation in his eyes that shakes her to her core.

"I don't know." He answers truthfully, "They aren't happy with me, that's certain. I'll be reprimanded for my actions, but now that the republic has gotten involved with Mauls siege the council has other things to worry about. For now, that is."

She nods and looks down to their intertwined hands. Of all the fantasies she's had about them being able to touch one another in such ways, this was the worst scenario of all.

"They might question you." He tells her.

"The Republic?" She questions.

He sighs, "I suppose them too, but I'm referring to the council. They-" He stops abruptly.

"They what, Obi-Wan?"

"They very well may question you about the extent of our relationship," he finally answers, "They heavily questioned why I would disobey them to come to your aid. They believe that I wouldn't have gone if you didn't mean a significant amount to me."

So many things had been on her mind that she hadn't even thought about what the repercussion for him would be. Of course the council would needle away at the nature of their relationship. Attachments for forbidden for the Jedi, and she knew that despite his commitment to the code and to his people, they were inexplicably attached to one another.

"What did you tell them?" If they're going to question her, she wants to make sure their stories align.

A half hearted chuckle escapes him, "I insisted that we were nothing more than old friends and that Qui-Gon and I spent over a year making sure you survived a civil war, and that I could not in good conscious let that mission be for nothing. I told them I wouldn't dishonor Qui-Gon that way.​"

"Did they believe that?" She asks.

He raises her hands to his lips and presses a series of kisses to her knuckles. The feeling has finally began to return to her finger tips and she's almost positive that his presence has something to do with it.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, her shining Jedi knight, the embodiment of righteousness in a cruel and unforgiving galaxy. Everything in her life had came brutally crashing around her, but here he was. A sliver of hope emerging from the rubble and she knows that she owes him so much.

"I don't know," he says sadly, "I don't know much, as you can see. I can only hope they choose to believe it."

A prickling sensation forms in the back of her eyes and it takes her more than a second to realize that she's on the verge of tears. How the horrors of the galaxy had changed her within a matter of hours. She was no longer the long reigning Duchess of a Mandalore, a stoic leader with an iron clad wall up around her emotions. No, now she was simply Satine. A hollow shell of the person she knew, someone who doesn't have so much as a grip on her feelings. Everything she knew about herself had been burned to the ground.

A hand cups her cheeks, forcing her to look him in the eyes and she remembers that not everything about her has been shattered. That the way she felt about Obi-Wan was ever persistent in the face of a fractured life.

"I'm sorry if coming to my aid has jeopardized your good standing with the council." She tells him, leaning slightly into his palm.

"Don't to dare apologize," he tells her, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb, "I told you when we were fleeing the planet, it's my fault that Maul came after you. And even if it wasn't, I would still come. I will always come for you. Please don't ever doubt that."

The tears that had been threatening to make themselves known finally spill over and she realizes its the first time she's allowed herself to feel the full force of all her sorrow.

"I don't know what I'm going to do."

If she hadn't already been on her knees she's sure she would have collapsed in a heap on the floor.

"Sadly neither do I." He answers, "But you will be granted asylum here until Mandalore is free of Maul and his leeches. Your sister assured me that your planet and your people will survive as they always have."

The shaking comes back at the mention of her sister and she clenches her hands into tight fists to fight it off, but its no use. The shakiness would not subside no matter how much she willed it too.

"I won't let them do anything to you." He whispers, using the backs of his fingers to wipe away the dampness on her cheeks, "Despite what the council may say, you are welcome to stay with me as long as you like."

She lets out a breath she hadn't even realized she had been holding, "Okay."

He smiles at her, and suddenly she feels a warmth filling the hollowness inside of her and for the first time in what had felt like forever, things felt like they would one day be okay.

"I'm here as long as you'll have me, Satine." He tells her lovingly, "I am well aware that everything is spiraling around you, but I want you to know that no matter what happens, I'll be at your side."

He leans forward and presses a kiss against her forehead, and she knows he's telling the truth. ​