#you weren’t all bad. you were mostly good. even if you drove me insane. it was mainly in the best way possible.

[shesin]

if it is meant to be, then it will be.

[goatcheeseandmilk]

Maybe If You Weren’t You

An angsty trolls fanfic that takes place when Poppy and Branch were in high school.

Desc: Poppy invites Branch to an “end of school year get together” to which he reluctantly decides to attend, unknowing that the events of the night would later reveal deep feelings, emotions, and secrets that leave them both in a painful situation.

Enjoy! :)

——————————————————

Branch woke up in a panic. His whole body trembling, heart racing, palms sweating, and gasping for air. His eyes darted around the room looking for any danger before he realized he just woke up from, yet another, bad nightmare. He clutched his chest and leaned up against the headboard of bed while he waited for his body to catch up with his mind. He closed his eyes, wishing he could just go back to the (partial and temporary) escape that is sleeping. He sucked in a shaky breath and got up to get ready for the day.

He put on his usual green vest and brown patched shorts and began washing his face. He stared into his gray face in the bathroom mirror for a while, studying himself. He was almost seventeen and still felt the same as he had as a young baby. This is hell. He thought to himself as he grabbed his cup of coffee off the coffee maker that had finally finished brewing. His snide thought was quickly proved wrong though as he heard a loud knocking coming from outside his bunker.

“Branch! Are you awake?” He heard a sickly sweet and familiar voice yell from outside while continuing to bang on his door. To Branch hell was actually just right outside the door and her name was Poppy. He groaned in annoyance and considered just ignoring her until she left until he remembered how that method had failed him countless times in the past. She was utterly relentless. He went up the elevator of his bunker and came out the trap door to be face to face with the pink troll.

“Poppy,” He said, sighing, “what are you doing here?” He asked wondering what she could possibly want from him this time.

“Me and the gang are having a little get-together party tonight at my place to celebrate the end of the school year and I wanted to invite you to come,” She explained happily.

He could never understand why she consistently asked him to come to things, why she talked to him at all really. Even after all the times he’d pushed her away from him she continued to treat him like a friend. Although he complained and would never admit it to anybody, he was grateful for Poppy. She was the closest thing to a real friend he had and even though she drove him insane most of the time he still cared about her, a lot.

Obviously he didn’t want to go to this “little get together party” with a bunch of people who only put up with him and acted polite out of pity. He especially didn’t want to deal with Creek, the total priss who constantly acted like he had ownership over Poppy even though they weren’t even an official couple. Creek also hated Branch.

He opened his mouth to respond to Poppy with a “no” before he could retreat back into his comfortable solitude but then he looked at her. She looked at him with such genuine eyes, something he had grown unfamiliar with. Most people didn’t really look at him but if they did their eyes were usually clouded with guilt, confusion, pity, annoyance, judgment, or fake generosity. Poppy was different though. She never made him feel like she was only talking to him because she felt bad for him or wanted to feel better about herself by doing the good deed of talking to the gray, damaged kid.

“Yeah, I’ll go,” he said, surprising himself with his words almost as much as he surprised her.

Her face lit up, “Really? Oh, that’s great! It’s gonna be at my place at 8 PM in the backyard, you don’t need to bring anything, we should mostly just be hanging out, dancing, eating, and doing regular party stuff. No need to dress up or anything, it's casual,” She seemed like she was almost going to explode with excitement just from him saying he would be there, “I’m so glad you’re going to come! It’s going to be really fun. We’re all so excited about the end of the school year and the start of summer and I thought ‘what better way to celebrate than with a party?’ so I planned the whole thing myself and I even made the invitations.”

She handed him a sparkly and decorated envelope that had obviously been carefully crafted by her skillful hands. On the front of it in pretty letters was his name surrounded by stickers.

“Thanks” He said flatly, taking it in his gray hands and feeling the glittered edges.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” She said rocking back on her heels and smiling.

“Seems kind of pointless now don’t you think? Usually people receive the invitation and then RSVP, not the other way around.”

“Mm maybe but I’m the Princess and I don’t really have to follow the rules.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works but if you want me to open your card then I will…your highness,” he said with a sarcastic bow.

“I do want you to,” she said with a smug look, getting close to his face, “go on.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, cursing himself for actually playing along with her. He opened the card that was just as decorated as the envelope only to be blasted in the face with glitter, typical. Poppy laughed at his annoyance as she turned to leave.

“Hey, thanks for that, Princess,” He said, wiping glitter off of his face.

“Anytime! I’ll see you tonight!” She yelled back, waving before turning on her heels and practically skipping away.

“Psh, stupid glitter,” He said to himself, smirking, looking at the card that he would be sure to store with the rest of them later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Branch could hardly believe he was actually walking to Poppy’s house for a party. He considered turning back and not showing up but instead he pushed onward. Finally, he approached Poppy’s place where he could hear music playing from the backyard and he could see some lights. He drew in a shallow breath, suddenly feeling anxious. He felt his heart beating in his chest. He imagined how people would look at him. They always looked he could see their stares even though they thought they were being discreet. He heard them whispering even though they thought they were being quiet.

Nope. He thought to himself and turned around, walking back the way he came before he stopped himself, clenching his fists. He thought about Poppy that morning and how her face seemed to impossibly light up more when he told her he would be there. I’ll give it one hour.

He hesitantly stepped into the backyard where he saw the scene of many trolls he recognized but didn’t know. So much for “little get together” he thought silently cursing the troll princess for suckering him into being there. Branch was right, people stared, people whispered, he saw, and he heard.

Is that Branch?

What is he doing here?

Why does Poppy even invite him anymore?

Surprising that he actually showed up.

He wrapped his arms around his body and pushed through the crowd. He felt fuzzy like he was floating. His heart felt tight and was beating hard against his chest. His breathing felt ragged. His eyes darted around the crowd trying to find the only face that could bring him some kind of relief in this moment. Finally, his eyes landed on her. She was laughing with her usual friend group obviously telling some sort of funny story. He felt himself relax a little as he moved closer to where she was standing. She looked up and made eye contact with him and she smiled.

“Branch! You made it!” Poppy exclaimed, waving him over.

“Hey guys,” He said, giving a small wave to the group who politely murmured greetings to him.

“Oh my god, I have to tell you about what just happened. We went to grab some snacks when-” She spoke quickly and exaggerated before she was cut off by a voice that Branch was less than excited to hear.

“Poppy, hey, I’ve been looking all over for you,” Said Creek. He wrapped his arm around Poppy and gave Branch a quick, yet snide, glance.

“Oh, uh, I’ve just been over here talking to my friends,” She said. Branch noticed her demeanor shift in a way he couldn’t seem to understand.

“Branch,” Creek said looking at him, “nice to see you actually show up. I really had my doubts.”

“Wouldn’t miss this for anything,” Branch replied coldly. He felt like his whole body was on fire with agitation. He hated Creek. He hated his stupid hair, stupid attitude, stupid arm around Poppy’s shoulder.

“That’s nice. Well I have a few people I need to go talk to. We’ll catch up later, eh?” Creek said with a fake grin before he pulled Poppy away with him.

Branch was now alone again. Super. He wandered around the party aimlessly, walking through groups of people. His eyes landed on a long table stocked with snacks and drinks and he grabbed a cup filled with punch. He turned around only to be met with somebody slamming into him causing him to drop the cup on the ground. He didn’t see who it was but he could hear the snickering.

He knew that wasn’t just a simple mistake, simple mistakes are met with simple apologies. Coming here at all was a mistake. He couldn’t believe that he thought maybe there was a chance he could actually have fun at a party like this. He felt his face get hot with embarrassment. He could cry from the frustration. He had to get out of sight.

He looked to his left where the back door to Poppy’s house was and without hesitation he went in, stepping into the kitchen. It was dark in the house, obviously not set up for the outdoor party. He wondered if it was weird for him to be in there but at the moment he didn’t really care. He leaned against the wall next to the door and tried to even out his breathing. Why was this so hard for him?

He just wanted to go home but he knew he wouldn’t feel right leaving without saying goodbye to Poppy and he definitely wasn’t ready to go back out into that crowd to try and find her. The sound of the back door opening loudly startled him. He was even more surprised to see a slightly distressed looking Poppy standing there. She looked startled by him for a moment before she looked at him with a confused expression.

“Branch? What are you doing in here? Party’s outside,” She said, stepping toward him.

“Sorry, I just…I needed a minute,” He said, realizing how insane he probably seemed, just standing there in her kitchen uninvited.

“I hear you there,” she replied, heaving out a big sigh as she leaned against the wall next to him. He looked over at her and saw an expression cross her face that he didn’t really recognize from her. She looked…upset, sad. He immediately grew concerned.

“You okay?’ He asked gently.

She hesitated for a minute, thoughtfully choosing her answer before she said, “not really.” She crossed her arms across her chest.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Branch asked, feeling out of place. He wasn’t familiar with the whole comforting thing.

It was to his surprise she started with, “I don’t know, it's just, a lot. Being the Princess and all is great. I love my people and I love getting to take care of them but the pressure to be amazing and not let anyone down is overwhelming. I just keep thinking about how every year is another step closer to the day I’ll have to take over for my dad and be queen. I don’t want to mess it up.”

Branch listened intently, hanging on to every word and carefully considering each of them. He wouldn’t have even guessed that she’d been feeling so stressed considering how she presented herself to everyone around her. She always seemed to be confident and put together. He let the silence between them stretch out for a moment, it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence that seemed to desperately need to be broken. It was just simply, silence between two friends (if that) who were struggling on their own paths.

Finally after a long moment he spoke, his voice low, “You’re going to do amazing, Poppy. You already are.”

She blew air out of her nose, laughing sarcastically, “I don’t feel like I am. Most of the time I feel like I’m performing. I even started doing it around the people I love the most. I feel like I’m always trying to seem perfect and happy with everything I do even if it’s something I don’t want to do. I have no control. School, friendships, work, helping my dad lead the village, even my relationships-”

She says that last word bitterly before she stops talking abruptly, like she said something she shouldn’t have.

“Don’t tell anyone about that, please,” She says, he looks over to her seeing a kind of pained look on her face, “I don’t even know why I said it.”

“It’s okay, I understand why you would,” Branch says, thinking about the conceited, backhanded, and not to mention selfish troll.

He replayed the moment from earlier in his head. The way she seemed to tense up when he was around, the way she shut down and went along with him, the way he shuttled her around like she was some sort of trophy he had to be constantly showing off. She seemed happy with him, her dad loved him that was clear, everybody loved Creek.

“Everybody loves him,” Poppy said quietly, seeming hesitant to keep opening up to him.

He listens, soaking it all in, hoping she’ll say more, realizing with surprise how badly he hopes she says more. His silence and attention seem to intrigue her, he suddenly wonders how often she was able to speak like this, completely open and vulnerable. Weakest parts exposed. He wondered how long she’d been waiting to unleash these feelings out into existence.

He guesses it had been painfully long based on how she lets her next words pour out into the quiet, dark, and empty kitchen, “Having your whole future built around what other people are expecting from you is nauseating. I just wish that I had the freedom to do what I wanted without worrying about how it’s going to look. I feel stuck. At the end of the day everybody is watching my every move. They look to me for guidance, for advice, to admire who’s representing them. I have to present myself in a way that makes everyone happy. My dad seems to have most of my future figured out for me already. Sometimes I just wish I could make a decision for myself that isn’t based on what’s going to make people happy. Not my dad, not my friends, not my people. Just me.”

She paces slightly around the room as she speaks, her heart emptying out into the space until she’s let all of it go. Branch stands there considering what she’s said and feeling shocked. He never would’ve expected that by coming to this party he’d somehow unlock the door to the deepest, hidden depths of the heart of Princess Poppy. Now that he had this part of heart he would do anything not to lose it.

Poppy was the one troll who had always been kind to him. Not just kind in the way that people are out of politeness but genuinely kind. Poppy, the troll who seemed to have it all together and be self-assured. Poppy, the only troll who genuinely seemed to care about him even though the thought of that made him push her away in an attempt to self-protect. In this moment, though, the last thing he wanted was to push her away. All he wanted was to get closer.

He loved all of the parts of her and that terrified him. Even though the fear of exposing a little bit of his own heart to her seemed overpowering he pushed through it.

“Your happiness is just as important as anybody else’s, Poppy,” He said, she turned to face him, listening to what he had to say.

The two of them couldn't have been more than two feet apart, “it isn’t your job to take care of everyone else’s happiness. Doing everything perfect isn’t what’s important, it’s what you do when something goes wrong that really matters. You don’t have to pretend to be someone you aren’t to get them to like you, it’s your life. You deserve to be happy,” he gave her a small smile. “Everybody is going to love the real Poppy. The Poppy I’m talking to right now.”

He waits for her response, she shifts on her feet, her eyes study his face thoughtfully, thinking hard about what he said.

“You really think that they’re still going to love me when I’m a mess?” She gestured toward herself, “When I’m not everything they thought and expected I would be? When I screw it up and don’t get it right? ”

“I know they will. You’re more than what they’re expecting. They’re going to respect and love you. Their brave, passionate, genuine leader.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I love you.”

He feels his breath catch. Suddenly regretting what he said, wondering if maybe he’d said too much.

“You deserve to be happy too, Branch,” She says, further closing the gap between them. Surprising him.

“What?” He says, caught off guard.

“Earlier you said I deserve to be happy. I just thought you should know that you deserve it too.”

“Oh,” he looks down at his hands before he looks back up into her eyes, her captivating, caring eyes, “thank you.”

“Thank you,” she says looking at him with a grateful expression, “I needed to hear that.”

“Anytime you need to hear it again, you know where to find me.”

Their eyes stay trained on each other, getting lost in each other for a minute. Branch suddenly realized just how close they were standing to each other. Her face was just inches away from his. Poppy looks at him in a way that makes his heart race and before he can even comprehend what’s happening she steps toward, closing the small gap between them. Her lips press against his as her arms wrap around his neck. She pressed her body into him, his back pressed against the wall.

Her lips are soft against his and he lets his hands fall on her waist, pulling her closer to him. He didn’t know how badly he had wanted this and now that he had it he didn’t want to lose it. She pulled away and he could feel her shaky, soft breath on his lips.

Just as suddenly as the whole thing had happened the back door swung open, letting light into the dark kitchen. She jumped back away from him, startled.

“Poppy? Poppy, what are you doing in here?” Creek says, stepping into the house, his eyes landing on her, “I’ve been looking for you.”

“I just, uh, I was grabbing some napkins, I didn’t put any out there earlier,” she stumbles, grabbing a stack of napkins off the small kitchen table.

Creek stands with an unreadable expression before his eyes move on to Branch who is still standing off to the side. Creek narrows in on him and looks from Branch to Poppy and back at him again.

“What the hell is he doing in here?” He says gesturing aggressively towards him, “Following you around like some lost puppy? Why do you let him bother you?”

Branch opens and closes his mouth, not knowing what to say to him. Feeling furious for how weak and small he probably seemed. He hated it.

“Creek, stop, he isn’t bothering me. He’s my friend,” She tried to reason with him.

“Whatever, let’s go back to the party,” He walked over to where she was standing and grabbed her hand, pulling her to the door.

“Yea, okay,” she catches Branch’s eye once more before she leaves, looking bewildered, conflicted, and in shock.

He thinks maybe she just realized the weight of what she had done. She had kissed Branch. Princess Poppy had kissed Branch but Princess Poppy could never be anything with Branch. Branch felt a wave of nausea hit him like a bus. He felt like the dark kitchen was spinning around him.

He’d realized that he might’ve ruined the best thing he had. The best thing in his sad, miserable, lonely life was Poppy. He was going to lose yet another person who actually cared about him and it was his fault.

He felt his breathing get ragged and short. He ripped the door open urgently and started to run. He didn’t stop running until he was back in his bunker where he dropped to the ground against the wall, hyperventilating. He wished more than anything that he could be anybody else. Someone that she could love. Someone that could be good to her and be everything that she deserves. He wasn’t that person. He was never going to be. He was too broken, too damaged.

He sat there like that with his head buried into his arms until his body calmed down. He crawled his way to bed just wanting to fall asleep, he did. For the first time in months he slept. Really slept. He didn’t dream or wake up in the middle of night panting and sweating. He slept until he was woken up by a loud banging outside.

He stirred awake, rubbing his eyes, feeling heavy. He replayed the night before in his mind, feeling his heart sink at the recollection. The banging outside continued. Who could possibly be outside his door this early in the morning? His question was answered just as quickly as it was thought when he heard an all too familiar voice.

“Branch, are you in there?”

Poppy.

Her voice sounded small, almost weak. Branch felt sick. After a minute of debating whether he should talk to her or just lay in bed he went up the elevator reluctantly to meet her face to face. He opened the door to see her standing right in front of him just as she had the morning before but differently. He noticed her puffy and tired eyes, it seemed like she had been crying. She had her arms wrapped around herself.

When she spoke her voice wavered slightly, threatening to break at any moment, “Hey.”

“Hi,” He crossed his arms, shifting on his feet.

“About yesterday. I…” She looked off to the side, for the first time since knowing her Branch was seeing Poppy completely at a loss for words.

“It’s okay, Poppy,” He said, she looked up at him, “I understand. What happened yesterday was stupid and impulsive and it can never happen again. I get it. It’s okay.”

She stared at him, lips parted slightly, her expression was clouded, “Branch, it’s not okay.”

“It is, really, I get it. Just look at us,” He gestured to her and then to himself.

She was quiet for a while before she said quietly, “I’m sorry,” she looked like she was about to cry.

“Don’t be. It isn’t your fault.”

“But it is, Branch, I shouldn’t have done that. I wasn’t thinking. I’m an idiot and now I’m hurting you and that’s the last thing I ever wanted to do,” she’s crying now, big, heaving sobs. Branch had never seen Poppy cry before, he hates it more than anything.

“Poppy…” Branch hates this, he wished desperately that he could be what she needed, that she wouldn’t have to feel like this because of him.

“I’m so sorry, Branch. I care about you so much and I wish it could be different but it just can’t. Maybe if I wasn’t me and you weren’t you it wouldn’t have to be like this,” she was getting hysterical. With every sob Branch’s heart ached more.

He didn’t want her to hurt like this, he hated what this was doing to her. He blamed himself for it. He wished things could be different too but he knew better than anyone that they couldn’t, he’d learned that lesson a long time ago. Things would always be this way.

Anybody Branch loved, he would break, and he would end up alone.

For now, all he wanted to do was make sure she didn’t have to hurt like him. He wanted her to be happy, he loved her. He loved her so much that he was going to let her go.

He wrapped her in his arms and held her, “It’s okay, Poppy, it’s okay,” he spoke softly, stroking the back of her head while she sobbed into him, accepting the comforting embrace and grabbing on to him.

Every bone in his body ached with hurt. He held her for a long time until her sobs began to quiet and her breathing began to slow. She pulled herself off of him and wiped her face with the back of her hand. The two of them looked at each other for a moment.

“Thanks, Branch,” She said, taking a deep breath.

“Anytime, and anytime you need me, you know where to find me,” he said, reinforcing his words from yesterday.

“I know,” she said, smiling softly. It hurt. It hurt a lot. He knew that it would always hurt but seeing her smile again made it worth it to him.

“And for the record, anytime you need me, I’m here too. As your royal leader and, of course, as your friend,” she added, playful yet serious.

“I know,” he said, it all hurt.

They stood there for a moment just letting the silence stretch out into the morning air.

“Goodbye, Branch,” she finally said, “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Yeah, later,” he said, giving her a weak smile.

She seemed hesitant to leave. She kept her eyes on him for a long moment while he stared down at his feet, unable to watch her walk away. When he finally looked up again she was gone and with her she took a piece of Branch’s heart. A part that he never intended to lose, he’d already lost so many pieces of his heart, leaving it shattered and messy. He made a silent promise that he would never let himself make that mistake again.

—————————————

If you made it to the end, thank you for reading! :) Hope you enjoyed <3

[ericspinkhair]

quarantine longings

pairing: best friend!kevin x fem!reader

word count: 3.2k

synopsis: you and your best friend have sex because quarantine made you horny

warnings: best friends to lovers, takes place during the pandemic, spoiler of 356 days (but not the end, just generally the plot), no use of condoms but only the pill, creampie, sexual fantasies, fingering, hand-job, sex, slight angst at the end if you squint

a/n: I would literally die for kevin, I love him so much. I'll be writing a multiple parts series about him after I'm done writing scenarios for every member first.

requests are open!

masterlist + requests

you slammed your foot hard against the wall and cursed in pain. you hopped on one foot to your bed, holding your other leg in agony and tasted blood as you bit your lip to keep the volume of your suffering groans in check. someone knocked on the door.

'are you okay?' your roommate asked concerned.

'no, leave me alone, kevin,' you croaked out. you wanted to suffer by yourself.

there was an awkward silence and then you heard him sigh. soon after, the door next to your room closed shut.

why were you so frustrated, one might ask? well, the pandemic was kicking your butt and you just couldn't take it anymore. when the news of the virus had first spread, no one thought it would become this serious. but suddenly everyone was walking around with masks and spent most of their time staying at home.

after graduating high school, you and kevin had decided to move in together for college because both of you were broke and couldn't afford to live alone. you had been best friends since middle school and had been convinced that it was a smart idea at the time.

and everything went smoothly for the first one and a half years. however, after not seeing anyone else since the start of the pandemic over a year ago, it became increasingly difficult to share an apartment, but not in the way one might assume. you were neither sick of each other nor did you fight a lot. to tell the truth, it was quite the opposite.

earlier, before you had kicked the wall in anger, the two of you had painted together. kevin was majoring in art and, since you didn't have anything better to do, you joined him while he did projects for his classes. you might have been majoring in journalism but you had always liked drawing and painting, even though you weren't particularly skilled. you were a naturally clumsy person, always tripping over air and dropping things. today you were hecticly moving around your hands while telling him about a stupid video you had seen and you accidently let go of the brush in your hand. it hit the side of kevin's face, leaving a wide splodge of red paint on his right cheek.

to get back at you, he jerked his paint brush and splattered some green color on your white shirt. you saw this as a challenge and soon both of you were both drenched in the colors of the rainbow, laughing hysterically on the floor, not caring that you were spreading the paint on the poor carpet.

you turned your heads to look at each other and you felt absolutely in peace. you loved this man and couldn't be more glad that it was him and not anyone else you were stuck with inside of this apartment.

he stood up to take off his stained shirt and your smile quickly faded off your face. your lips slightly parted and you couldn't help but stare at his now exposed biceps and abs.

your mouth watered and you felt heat pooling between your legs as you took your time to study his architecture. thoughts about how badly you wanted him to thrust into you while his strong arms held you up invaded your mind. you tried to shake them off but it was impossible.

occasions like this were slowly becoming a common occurrence for you.

having mostly stayed inside for over a year, also meant that you didn't have sex for that long. it's not like you were the horniest person on the planet but you still had needs that were being neglected. with kevin being home all the time you didn't even dare to masturbate, scared that he would be able to hear you through the frustratingly thin walls. you must have gone insane with all the lust building up inside you and that's why you suddenly craved to have sex with your best friend. this whole thing was destroying everything. it was hard to act normal when he was making you this nervous and heated but you tried to pretend that everything was fine anyway for the sake of your friendship.

that was the reason why you were angry and had hurt yourself. you hated the way you felt about your best friend and you hated the pandemic for not giving you an outlet to escape so you could recollect yourself.

what you weren't aware of was that kevin was no stranger to the exact same frustration.

he would need more than his ten fingers and ten toes to be able to count the amount of times he had to run to the bathroom to hide his boner because he had done so much as look at you bend over or stretch. he didn't want to make you uncomfortable but it was a challenge to try and calm down his hormones.

whenever he jacked off, images of you flashed through his mind; your sweet curves and pink lips drove him insane.

last week, you two were cooking together and you had asked him to get the salt. he stood behind you to reach for it on the highest shelf. he was forced to press his crotch against your butt cheeks and his dick hardened against his will. he quickly handed you the salt, excused himself and ran off before you could figure out what had happened.

he might not have known the cause of your sudden outburst but he sympathized with your fury because he had a lot of pent up anger towards covid as well.

he lay in his bed and tried to focus on the book he was reading but he couldn't tune out the groans coming from the room next to his. he cursed.

'stop it!' he was panicking as he saw a familiar tent forming in his pants. your sounds triggered some weird perverted part of his brain that sent signals right to his genitals. his dick was hardening and he saw no other solution to his problem than to give in to his subconscious desires.

he pulled down his pants just far enough so that his cock had enough room to spring out. it only needed a few strokes before it stood tall and angry. kevin pressed his head into his pillow and moved his hand fast. he wanted to get over with it quickly. he emptied his cum on his stomach while imagining your greedy little mouth being stuffed by his cock. he lay there panting as yet another round of shame flushed over him.

'get yourself together,' he whispered, mentally slapping himself.

***

'do you want to order japanese or italian?' you asked kevin. today was friday which meant it was time for your weekly tradition of ordering take out and watching a movie.

'definitely italian. we've already had japanese for the past four days. I need something else for a change,' kevin complained and shuddered at the thought of having to eat sushi again. the japanese restaurant prepared absolutely delicious food but he just couldn't stand it anymore.

you laughed at his pained facial expression. 'fine, italian it is.'

within twenty minutes the doorbell rang and after about half a minute kevin came back with two huge boxes.

he opened them on the small table situated in front of your couch and the smell of freshly cooked pasta seasoned with basil made your stomach growl.

kevin wanted to dig in already but you stopped him. you had to choose a movie first.

'let's watch tall girl. I saw everyone hate on it on tiktok,' you suggested.

'I think we should watch 365 days, that was all over my for you page as well,' kevin argued. you hadn't heard of it so you weren't sure whether it would be the right movie for you. the rule was that it had to be as bad as possible.

'according to what I have heard, it's apparently even worse than 50 shades of grey,' kevin added which piqued your interest. the both of you had watched 50 shades about two months ago and you were honestly shocked by how awful it actually was. you couldn't understand why everyone had been so obsessed with it when it was first released. if 356 days was really worse, then you'd hit the jackpot. you clapped your hands.

'fine, you win. I swear if the movie isn't as horrible as you say it is then you owe me something!' he intertwined his pinky with yours to promise.

watching horrible movies was way better than watching good ones. making fun of bad storylines, stupid characters or horrible editing was one of your favorite past times.

'I guess I'll have to add are you lost, baby girl to the top 10 worst lines ever spoken. who thought ah yes this is sexy, let's have him repeat it over and over again', you complained, shoving some pasta into your mouth.

'so he's like I won't do anything without your permission while he is literally groping her boobs against her will, like make it make sense, massimo', added kevin, ruffling his hair in frustration. he almost completely forgot about the food.

'so let me get this straight: he drugged her, kidnapped her, tied her up, hung up a painting of her just because he saw her face when his dad was shot?'

'totally relatable.' both of you giggled.

you were enjoying complaining about the plot. it was horrible.

there were plenty of erotic scenes but they were honestly so funny and kinda gross that you could bare it without really being affected by them. kevin, on the other hand, had placed a pillow over his hard-on to hide the embarrassing fact that these terrible, smutty scenes had turned him on.

and then the infamous boat scene came.

massimo and laura had a huge fight, she fell of the boat, he saved her and now she was suddenly so in love with him that she begs him to fuck her. which he does.

you felt your panties become increasingly wet as the couple had steaming hot sex.

'this is embarrassing but I'm so horny,' you admitted but in a way that should have suggested that you meant it as a joke. something about this statement stirred something in kevin.

'well, what can I say?' he replied and lifted the pillow. your pupils widened at the sight of your best friend's bulge.

his eyes darkened and he looked at you with lust clearly written on his face. you reciprocated his stare with the same intensity. you tried to focus on his dark brown orbs instead of his boner but the image you had just seen was present in your mind.

his gaze shifted to your lips and, before you knew it, kevin climbed above you and pressed your back flat onto the couch.

your lips locked and you immediately buried your hands in his hair to pull him closer. you moved in sync, his lips fitting perfectly onto yours. you bucked your hips up against his crotch and earned a moan from kevin. he opened his eyes in shock as realization hit him. he quickly pulled away and jumped off the coach.

'I'm so sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have just done that. I don't know what came over me,' he apologized profusely, staring at his feet. did he really think that you didn't want this?

'give me your hand,' you told him and held out your hand.

'why?' he raised his eyebrows in confusion. you rolled your eyes.

'just do it.'

you took his hand and led it to your crotch.

'what are you- oh my god.' your juices had completely soaked through your panties and your sweatpants. 'you are so wet.'

'for you,' you added. 'there's no need to apologize. I'm literally begging you to continue.'

you didn't have to say that twice before he pulled you closer to him by your hips and engaged you in another desperate kiss. his hands were groping your butt while you let yours slide under his hoodie. you felt his naked skin and toned abs, as you rubbed his stomach. you lowered your hands and bravely palmed his boner through his clothes.

'y/n,' he hissed out against your lips. you hooked your thumbs in the elastic of his pants and underwear, and pushed the material down to his thighs. he struggled to get them off.

you stroked his hard dick as he slipped his hand into your panties to massage your pussy at the same time.

he slipped one finger inside and began working it in and out. you finally were getting the relief you had been desperately craving for for so long. kevin was skilled and your walls were trying to swallow his slim finger. you were quickly coming close to your orgasm after having abstained for more than a year. you pulled his hand out.

'I bet you can make me come even better with your dick,' you challenged kevin.

'you bet I will.' he was confident.

'let me just look for a condom.' he was already turning away to go search in his room but you held him back by the arm.

'forget about it. I'm on the pill and I want you raw. I want you to come inside me and not spill into a stupid condom.'

the idea of this sounded very tempting to kevin. he picked you up and threw you back onto the couch, drawing your hips closer to him so he could pull off all the pieces of clothing that were hindering him from accessing your pussy.

he propped up his arms next to your sides and spread your thighs apart. strings of arousal were hanging from your folds and he saw your hole desperately clench around nothing. his dick hurt from how much he wanted to finally be inside of you. he wanted to find out how close he had been able to imagine how you would feel around him.

your hole took him in easily, welcoming him happily by embracing it tightly. kevin swore he could've cum right here and there.

he went slow at first to give you a chance to adjust but you were already fully ready, rocking your hips forward to meet his thrusts.

he crashed your mouths together and you kissed him like he was oxygen and you were short of air. you smiled and your eyes rolled back, satisfied with how things had played out today and the prospects of coming looked fairly promising.

desperate for release, kevin picked up the pace, his eyes closed while fucking into you like a horny animal. he couldn't help himself and all the 'faster's and 'harder's spilling from your mouth only encouraged him to drive himself deeper into you.

you wrapped your legs around his torso in an attempt to regain the control you were losing.

'fuck fuck fuck,' you cursed, feeling your muscles starting to contract. kevin brushed away some hair that was stuck to your sweaty forehead.

'it's fine, I'm coming too,' he announced and it took only a few more thrusts before a body shaking orgasm flushed over you, making you see only white. this drove kevin over the edge too and he spilled inside you, filling you up with his hot cum. he continued to slowly ease his dick in and out of you, fucking his semen right back into you until you had ridden out both of your orgasms. he let himself fall onto the couch right next to you, panting hard.

'I very much needed this,' you sighed in content.

'same, I wasn't sure whether I could hold out any longer without having a proper orgasm.' he watched his cum drip out of you.

'we should've thought of this sooner,' you said. 'this was a great idea.'

kevin hummed in agreement.

***

so now you and kevin were having sex on a regular basis, your high score being five times in a day. it felt good to finally live out your sexuality and not having to restrict yourself. sure, you guys did it more than necessary but it was a great way to pass time and it felt fucking amazing.

today you had done it in the shower after waking up, then on the kitchen counter and you had just finished having sex in his bed.

he was spooning you from behind, his cock still placed inside of you. he nuzzled his nose into your neck.

'stop, that tickles,' you chuckled.

'sorry.'

after a while of comfortable silence you heard him let out a big sigh.

'what's wrong?' you asked as he pulled out of you. you turned around to be able to look at him.

'I don't think I can do it like this anymore,' he confessed.

'what do you mean?' you asked. 'are you talking about us having sex?'

he nodded. your heart dropped and you started feeling dizzy. you tried to search for answers in his eyes but he avoided looking at you.

'w-why?' you stuttered, trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in your eyes.

'it was amazing at first,' he started and finally raised his head to meet your gaze, 'and I went into it without much thought. I went crazy during quarantine and began fantasizing about having sex with you. then it became reality but now I understand that was probably wrong of me. I've always thought of myself as a gentleman, yet I slept with you without much thought. you see, my issue is this…'

suspense hung in the air and you were impatiently waiting for him to get to the point.

'I like you.'

you quietly gasped in surprise. you had been expecting him to say you were bad at sex and that he regretted everything but not this.

'I shouldn't be sleeping with you unless you were my girlfriend,' he finished off his ramble. you felt immensely relieved.

'do you want me to?' you asked him.

'want you to what?' kevin was confused. he had been a hundred percent sure you'd immediately jump out of the bed in disgust when he confessed.

'be your girlfriend. after all, I like you too, you moron.' you realized that you had known this for a while. you might have even been crushing on your best friend since way before the pandemic struck but it was kind of hard to track your feelings. still, you were sure you liked him too. now that he had admitted his feelings, you were able to admit yours not only to him but to yourself as well.

'wow, I didn't expect this,' kevin confessed surprised. you laughed.

'yeah, we should've realized this sooner.' he pulled you closer and kissed you. it was different than the other times. his lips moved softly against yours, in contrast to all of your rough and passionate kisses you had exchanged these past few weeks. he conveyed his emotions through the kiss.

'you're ready again?' you groaned as you felt kevin's dick harden against your upper thigh. he chuckled.

'sorry, you just turn me on so much.'

so then you did it for the fourth time. that day, you set a new record of having sex six times. you might have been happy now but still just as horny.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Harada Chapter 5

This is my first post of the month, so I’ll start by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share…. and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me…

well... i mostly drove op.3 and souma-hen out of my head with some of the original hakumyu musicals. i had to re-rip all of my hakumyu cds since the files got lost cuz my passport stopped working... then i started to distract myself by listening to the Kazama-hen soundtrack and a bunch of BGM tracks from Saito-hen, Hijikata-hen and Reimeiroku, which resulted in way more music being stuck in my head. lol *insert pitiful laugh here*. maybe i’ll finally be able to motivate myself into finish my score for kazama-hen’s yaisa this time around (it’s hard to stay focused on a +10 min song that’s reaaaaallly not meant for the piano though i was able to match most of the notes to when they played when compared to the actual song starting from the 4th measure, which i consider to be insanely good considering how there are 333 freaking measures or roughly 46 pages in my damn score. still need to fix a number of sections though)... and i know ive done a ton of procrastinating on it.

anyway, enjoy~!

oh, and i have one non-hakuoki translation planned for this month (next week).

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Harada Chapter 5

Translation by KumoriYami

After a short walk down the corridor through headquarters, I stopped when I reached the room for the Tenth Division [reword later?].  

Yukimura: Speaking of which/Anyway, Nagakura-san did say that he was apologize to Harada-san for getting him wrongly accused of stealing sake.

I didn't know if Nagakura-san was already here......?

I stepped into the room.

What immediately came into view was the sight of Nagakura-san pressing both of his hands together to apologize.

Shinpachi:——That's how it is! Sano, I'm sorry! I didn't expect for for this to happen!/things to get to this point/develop to this stage!

Harada:......In other words, I was almost banned from going out because of something that you did? Shinpachi.

Shinpachi: We-Well...... if you look at the outcome, it should be fine...... right...... 

B-But, that’s it. I just put the sake in your room because I wanted to share some delicious sake with you——

It was just bad luck that things ended up that way... [i think?]

Harada: I get it, I get it. I know exactly what happened.

Harada:......But, for me to have been accused without any/for no reason, it's not to much to think that I'd lose my temper, right?

Harada-san cracked his fingers as he spoke.

He was smiling, but his eyes weren’t happy at all. 

Shipnachi: U-Uwaaah...!. calm down, Sano! Why are you hitting me!

Harada: Shut up! You should be thankful that I'm just hitting you!

It seemed that Harada-san was quite furious as he looked genuinely angry.

What should I do......!?

Stop Harada-san <-

Evacuate/Get away

Yukimura: Pl-Please calm down, Harada-san! You can't use violence/Violence is not allowed/Don't use violence!

I hurriedly grabbed/hugged Harada-san to try/and tried to stop him.

Seeing me appear so suddenly, Harada-san was startled, but shortly after, he regained his original scowling expression.

Harada: Don't stop me, Chizuru! That guy, Shinpachi, has earned a good beating!

Yukimura: But, but rather than saying that it was Nagakura-san's fault, wouldn't it be better to say that this was just a coincidence/this was an unfortunate misunderstanding......! 

Harada: You're someone who doesn’t try to offend anyone... .However, Shinpachi. In the end/first place, this incident, were it not for your love of sake/alcohol addiction, none of this would have happened!

Shinpachi: Guh......

Yukimura: But, but starting/engaging in privates fights is punishable by seppuku, so please, please calm down......!

I was almost shaken off, but I desperately continued holding onto Harada-san.

However Harada-san forced me aside and walked over to Nagakura-san, and then smiled.

Harada: Don't worry, Chizuru. This isn't a private fight. I have no intention to start a fight/fight with him.

Shinpachi: Th-That’s right! Although I was prepared to get beaten, won't/cant you forgive me/I was prepared to get beaten, but you’re actually prepared to forgive me...!? No, as expected of my best friend! The broadness of your mind is comparable to Hijikata-san [reword later. sounds archaic lol]!

Looking at the smiling Harada-san, Nagakura-san let out a sigh of relief.

Is that how it will work out/Will that be how this ends......?

The moment/Just as I let go.

I caught the sight of Harada-san's smile deepening as he clenched his fists behind his back.

Harada: Right, I'm not going to fight you——

Harada——But I'm going to punish you! Grit/Clench your teeth, Shinpachi!!!

Shinpachi: GUAHHH!?

Nagakura-san's depressed screams could clearly be heard even outside of headquarters......

Afterwards, Harada-san and Nagakura-san went to Hijikata-san's room......

Once the situation was explained in detail, the order for Harada-san’s house arrest was lifted.

......Instead/On the opposite end, Nagakura-san was severely punished......

Harada: Really, that bastard, Shinpachi....... he can’t/won't stop causing problems.

Yukimura: Ye-Yes. But I think that Harada-san also went too far....... However, it's good that the suspicions against you were cleared because of that, Harada-san.

Harada: Speaking of which, I forgot to thank you. Thanks, Chizuru.

Yukimura: Eh?

Harada: What you did. It's thanks to you that I was able to prove my innocence [tl word i have is more "to your credit/contribution"].

Yukimura: Th-That sort of thing...... what I did isn't such a big deal.

Harada: Haha, a bit of modesty/humility is good, but when a man thanks you, you need to accept it honestly, since it's a necessary condition of being a good woman/but it's a condition of being a good woman to honestly accept when a man gives thanks, alright?", alright [i think????]?

Seeing Harada-san smile, I couldn't help but also laugh/smile.

Harada: So/Anyway, if you want to go to the festival, just call me at any time/call me whenever. As thanks/As a gift, can I accompany you/keep you company then?

Yukimura: Yes, thank you.

Although there were many twists and turns......

I’m really glad that Harada-san's ban on going out was lifted.

The sigh I let out in relief escaped into the depths of the cool corridor.

-end of chapter-

[hotpinkhoshi]

let me (m) | park chanyeol

pairing: park chanyeol x f! reader

genre: little angst, fluff, smut

word count: 2.5k

summary: after a rough day in the studio, chanyeol knows a surefire way to make himself feel better. 

a/n: umm hi everybody! i know this may not be what you’re used to or what you expected if you haven’t been following my blog. i’ve been captured by park chanyeol, and i’m still coming to terms with it but i desperately wanted to try to write a cute fluffy drabble for him. it ended up at 2.5k and a little smutty. also, i haven’t been writing as much as i’d like to lately, so... forgive me if you can tell that i’m a bit rusty!

You first noticed something was off when Chanyeol was quiet entering your shared apartment. Normally, he’d be calling out for you or for Toben, or perhaps singing softly to himself. More often than not, he was in an exceptional mood when he got off work and finally came home to you. 

But today was different. Chanyeol simply walked through the front door and locked it behind him, setting his keys onto the wooden table set up in the entryway. You stood in the kitchen, halfway done chopping up the veggies you needed for tonight’s dinner. Toben was curled under the kitchen table, more than happy to be left on his own with his favorite stuffed toy. 

“Yeol? Is that you?” you called, after noticing that he didn’t greet you as normal. 

“It’s me,” came his reply, his tone low and without inflection. 

You listened as his slippered steps carried through the apartment into the kitchen, setting your knife down and wiping your hands on a towel. When you turned to look at Chanyeol, you could read it all over his face. 

Chanyeol didn’t often have bad days. He had long days, tiring days that drained his energy near his breaking point, but he rarely had days that had his mouth fixed into a frown and a crease settling deep between his brows. Today seemed to be one of those days. 

“Oh, babe,” you said, your own mouth turning down into a sympathetic pout. “What happened?”

Something about the way he looked, ears sticking out from under his beanie, enormous hoodie draped over half his body, and his pink house slippers just made you want to melt into a puddle. The pathetic, yet adorable expression was just the cherry on top. 

“Mmph,” he grunted, closing the distance between your bodies to wrap his arms around your waist. He ducked down, burying his head into your neck. “Don’t wanna talk about it,” he mumbled as you circled your arms around his torso. 

The whine in his voice let you know that whatever had him so pouty was nothing serious. More than likely, it was a particularly difficult day in the studio, one of those sessions where nothing seemed to come out right.

You stood there for as long as he needed you to, letting his warmth envelop you completely. Bit by bit, you felt some of the tension leave his body. No words were needed as he relished in the comfort that your presence brought him. 

“Baby,” he finally said, pressing a sweet kiss to your neck. “Can dinner wait? Kinda just want to cuddle with you for a while.” 

Years into your relationship, and he could still make your heart swell as if you were still in the midst of falling in love. Even something as simple as a kiss, expertly placed right at your sweet spot, was enough to have your pulse racing. 

“Of course,” you answered, arms sliding around to his front so you could clasp his hands in yours. Once he’d pulled away enough for you to see his face, you leaned up on your tip toes to place a kiss to the freckle on his nose. 

You let Chanyeol lead you back to the bedroom where he didn’t bother flipping the light switch, just tugged you to the bed. After he flopped onto his stomach, you stifled a giggle and climbed in after him, snuggling up to his side. 

In the process of maneuvering into the desired cuddling position, Chanyeol’s beanie slipped off to reveal his wildly messy hair, making him look all the more kissable. Especially with that little pout and puppy dog eyes he was giving you. 

“How was your day?” he asked softly. He had scooted down the bed, his face resting against your stomach as his arms looped around your waist. 

You shrugged and rested your hands on his broad shoulders. “It was good. Missed you, though,” you told him honestly. 

Chanyeol chuckled, his breath tickling your stomach where your shirt had ridden up. “I always miss you.” 

“Yeah?” you asked. 

“Mm. Can you play with my hair?” 

Your lips quirked into a smile as you slipped a hand up the nape of his neck into the soft waves of his hair. The man might have been a head taller than you and be able to pick you up as if you weighed nothing, but he had no shame asking for you to rub his back or play with his hair when he couldn’t sleep, or needed some extra comfort. 

“Is everything okay?” you whispered. 

Chanyeol hummed, eyes still closed, and you felt his shoulders shrug. “Just wasn’t a good day. Thought I could finish the song today but I just couldn’t get it right.” 

You could hear the disappointment in his voice, directed at himself alone. He was hard on himself when his creativity didn’t cooperate with his plans, and you absolutely understood. In his industry, he was constantly working towards a deadline no matter how inspired or drained he was feeling. 

“I’m sorry baby.” You slid your fingers through his hair, petting the back of his head softly. Chanyeol brought you closer and nuzzled into your tummy, his eyelashes tickling your skin. 

“S’okay,” he whispered. 

A few minutes of silence passed between the two of you, just enjoying each other’s company in the quiet of the home that you shared together. Your eyes fell shut after a while, though your fingers continued to card through Chanyeol’s hair. 

Just as you were nearly drifting off, you barely registered the feeling of his body shifting, ever so slightly. Then he was pushing your shirt up, revealing a larger expanse of your torso. 

Goosebumps formed as Chanyeol pressed his lips against your skin, soft and featherlight. You shivered, your eyes fluttering open. 

“Yeol.”

“Yeah?” 

“What’cha doing?” 

You felt him smile mid-kiss. “Mm, I’m just cuddling.”

Running your tongue over your teeth, you stifled a gasp when his touch traveled lower, dangerously close to the waistband of your leggings. 

“Baby,” you whispered, lifting your head to stare down at him. 

You were met with a mischievous stare, that glint in his eye telling you everything you needed to know. Maybe he’d had a bad day, but Chanyeol was a man that knew what he wanted. There was usually little to no room for persuading him otherwise. 

“What? You don’t like it?” 

A kiss under your bellybutton had you swallowing instead of answering at first, the movement of your fingers in his hair coming to a halt. 

“Oh, no, I do. I just… didn’t think you’d be in the mood. For this.” 

Chanyeol only hummed and shook his head, dragging his lips down even lower. His arms untangled from under your body, big hands traveling along your sides, warming you up with his touch. 

“Can I?”

His voice was quiet, a seemingly innocent question. If you had answered no, that you simply weren’t in the mood or you were too tired, you knew he would back off. But for him, the answer was always yes. 

At first, you’d been embarrassed how quickly he could have you spreading for him, folds dripping with arousal and voice begging for him to touch you. But Chanyeol had quickly shown that you had no reason to be bashful around him. 

“Mhm,” you replied, hips lifting as your leggings were peeled from your legs. “But I wanna make you feel better.”

Chanyeol looked up at you then, his big eyes twinkling with stars and the sweetest smile on his lips. “Trust me, this will make me feel better.” 

His smile was so contagious that you found yourself laughing softly, fingers trailing down to the tips of his ears. You squeezed the cartilage playfully and wiggled your hips as warmth traveled through your entire body. 

As always, Chanyeol took his time. He liked to build you up, make you quiver for him and beg, before finally diving in and giving you what you wanted. It drove you insane in the most glorious way. 

You got comfy, enjoying the gentle kisses he was peppering onto your stomach and hips, his hands gripping your sides to hold you in place. At this point, he knew your body and the way you liked to be handled. He knew you loved when he put his hands on you and handled you however he pleased. 

“Legs up,” he whispered, at the same time he scooted down the bed until his head was between your thighs. 

You obeyed, lifting each of your legs to hook them over his shoulders. When Chanyeol went down on you, he liked to press as close to you as he could, have your thighs pressing so tightly into his face that you could feel each clench of his jaw. And you couldn’t complain. 

“My pretty girl,” Chanyeol muttered, as if to himself, as he leaned in to kiss your thighs. 

“Do you have to tease?” you asked, huffing softly and jerking your hips. Just ten minutes ago, you hadn’t been in the mood in the slightest, and now he had you squirming and praying for him to get on with it. 

Chanyeol chuckled, the deep tone sending tingles down to your fingertips. “I just wanna enjoy you. Is that okay?” 

It was a sweet sentiment, but you knew him well enough to know that it was mostly because he wanted to drive you crazy. “I guess.” 

For a few more minutes, Chanyeol dragged it out, though you were grateful when he pulled back briefly to remove your underwear. His kisses got closer and closer to the place you needed him most and you found yourself breathing heavier, pulse racing with anticipation. 

“Baby,” you started to whine, just as Chanyeol flattened his tongue to lick a stripe up your center. You gasped, then groaned, fingers digging back into his hair to squeeze tightly. 

The act encouraged him. He delved in and got to work, latching his mouth around your clit while flicking his tongue back and forth at a quick, practiced pace. You were loud, now, your moans and whimpers echoing throughout the apartment. 

Chanyeol alternated between sucking and licking your clit, all while he held your thighs around his shoulders, his fingers digging into your flesh to keep you in place.

“Right there, oh-” you whined. “Feels so good, Yeol, you’re so good…” 

Maybe this was why he had been so adamant about tending to you, rather than letting you take care of him. As much as you wanted to get on your knees for him and cheer him up, you knew he needed this. He needed to be reminded that he was a man, capable of anything, including making you come with just his mouth. 

Words were tumbling from your lips, praises of his mouth and his tongue, the way he was making you feel, and how much you loved him. It seemed the more you egged him on, the faster he went, the more determined he was to send you towards your peak. 

You lifted your head and stared down at him because you loved to watch, and you were not disappointed. Chanyeol’s face was buried between your thighs but his eyes, they were open, staring back up at you. 

“That’s it baby, fuck. You’re the best. Right there, yeah,” you whispered, gulping as you drew your bottom lip between your teeth. 

There was determination in his eyes, a dangerous and exhilarating stare that you had come to know very well. You could feel the pressure building and the heat practically radiating off your skin the closer you got to the edge. 

You started to squirm, both trying to draw yourself closer and further from the overwhelming pleasure at the same time. Chanyeol didn’t miss a beat, tightening his arms around your thighs and shoving his face deeper into your heat. 

“I’m g-” you stuttered, fingers clawing at his hair, the hood of his sweatshirt, his sleeve, until both hands found the back of his head and gripped it firmly. “I’m gonna-” 

Chanyeol hummed against you, the deep vibrations like a shockwave straight through your entire body. The tension snapped and you cried out, nearly sobbing from the euphoria he’d given you in such a short time. 

Your body jerked with each wave of pleasure, back arching off the bed and hips wriggling despite how hard he was holding onto your flesh. His mouth never stopped licking and sucking, creating obscene noises that only made your orgasm more intense. 

When it all became too much, you found yourself bending away from him, pushing at his head to avoid overstimulation. There was a time and place for that, and to be honest, he didn’t have the stamina for it today. 

So he just kissed your skin, gently stroking your thighs and kissing over your stomach as you came down from your high. Your chest heaved with deep breaths and when you opened your eyes, you found they had been clamped shut so tightly there were stars in your vision at first. 

Once he was hovering over you, you wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him down for a kiss. You tasted yourself and smiled, not ashamed to enjoy it. When you pulled away, Chanyeol tucked his face into your neck just as he had earlier, though this time he felt a thousand times lighter. 

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he whispered with a gentle kiss under your ear. 

“No, thank you,” you replied with a laugh, ruffling your hand through his hair. 

Chanyeol chuckled into your neck before he flopped back over onto his back, a blissful smile on his face as he stared up at the ceiling. 

“At least I know I can be the best at something today,” he confessed, glancing over at you with a smirk. “Just call me the pussy eating champion.” 

“Oh, shut up,” you told him, though you found yourself giggling while you dressed your bottom half.

You turned over once you’d pulled your leggings on, settling onto your stomach so that you could prop yourself onto your elbows. There was an obvious tent in his joggers, proving to you that eating you out was just as pleasurable for him as it was for you. 

But when you reached out for his belt buckle, Chanyeol opened his eyes. “As much as I would love that, I’m starving.” 

“You’d rather eat than have me suck you off?” you asked, eyebrows high on your forehead. 

Chanyeol just shrugged and climbed off the bed, reaching for your hands. When he pulled you to stand, his eyes were full of the kind of adoration that could only exist between two people that were truly, deeply in love. 

“Later.” 

The rest of the evening you spent in the kitchen, finishing dinner as a team and eating on the couch while you found something mind numbing to play on the TV. You didn’t end up returning the favor, but neither of you seemed to care too much as you dozed off together on the couch, limbs and hearts intwined. 

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Hello! I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfy but I was wondering if I could get a bit of advice? From your recent posts, you said you left your home from toxicity and just bad things in general.

I’m in a similar situation, but my dad will be taking me away from my mom. And I just know it’ll be a shit show. And I’m absolutely terrified when we tell her and what the backlash will be afterwards towards my brothers and me and dad in general

How did you do it? How did you take the leap? Do you possibly have any advice on how to deal ?

Hello, friend!! ☀️

Thank you so much for reaching out, it means a lot that you value my advice <3

Hmm, okay from what I can tell of your situation, that is indeed a tricky one, but nothing can’t be overcome!

It’s important to remember, though, I was 19 when I left (now 20), so the way I handled things is going to be a lot different than how a minor can handle things (legally at least, feel free to replicate my insane stunts lmao)

Advice below the cut! (family violence trigger warning, I suppose?)

My entire family was and is extremely volatile, and I don’t speak to any of them anymore except for my older brother, but I’ll be cutting him off in 3 weeks too when I move.

Fortunately, my dad and brother were both kicked out of the house years ago due to violence, which left me with my mother, who’s quite insidious herself (just watch any Conjuring movie and that’ll give a good idea of what it was like living in that house lol)

I get the same feeling watching this scene as when I was around her in that house. Granted she didn’t try to change my gender, but the hatred for my father getting taken out on me is pretty accurate lol, paired with the immediate “motherly love” afterwards (she never hit me though, pleased to say — she wasn’t physically violent, just emotionally, financially, mentally and verbally. She did try to run my dad over once though, so, there’s that too)

Yikes…yeahh the same eerie feeling for sure, still makes all my hairs stand upright in memory.

(For further context this clip reminds me of my father and this one of my brother)

In the clip about my father, he definitely reminds me of Frank Gallagher, except he despises my mother instead of revering her. He’s a workaholic instead of a drug addict, too. But the mannerisms are the same. I always handled him in the way Fiona does.

Regarding my brother, I think everything about our family hit him the hardest, despite being the oldest. He developed a very violent streak, and has very poor impulse control. I love him dearly but he’s a snake in the grass, and has thrown me under the bus multiple times to get ahead in life. I mostly just pity him, since I know what our life was like growing up. But still, I can’t defend him forever, especially not at the cost of myself. Literally yesterday I woke up to a text from him asking me to come pick him up because he got arrested for starting a fight at a bar and smashing their windows.

When things started getting pretty bad with my mother earlier this year, I started to realise in my heart that there was no way I could go forth in life with her in it. I focused on the future relationships I would have one day when far away from this town — romantic partner, children, friends etc

I sort of realised one day I’d care about them a lot more than I care about my mother, because those future people would care about me. That in turn got me realising that I do deserve love, despite how my mother made me feel, and that I don’t want her to deprive another second of that in my life.

Something very unique that triggered this too was going to go visit an old family psychic, who’s basically just the Gandalf to my Frodo (ily, Chris <3). He very accurately predicted my birth years ago after my mother was told she was infertile — he got the date, year and time right three years in advance, and even knew ahead of time what my personality would be like, which he was spot-on about.

Well, I went and visited him a few months ago because I was lost with my direction, and he ended up pausing and had a sudden feeling, which led to him telling me that he’d just found out I would be having twin boys one day.

Normally I don’t buy into that stuff, but this Gandalf dude…well I knew he was right.

Knowing I’d have sons of my own one day took me from a scared daughter mindset and into a maternal mother bear in an instant, and I knew I didn’t want any children of mine around my mother or the rest of my family, for their safety alone, which made me realise, “Well, if I wouldn’t allow my own children near them, why do I allow myself?”

I started grey-rocking her in the lead-up to me leaving, which of course frustrated her (she’s a malignant narcissist), but it was a necessary step to start emotionally detaching myself from her.

It all bottled over one night after a pretty distressing argument (I had locked myself in my room to avoid it, but she was still at my door carrying on).

My cat, who’s been my best friend for years, was sitting on the floor next to me, and sort of looked up and I swear he spoke with his eyes, saying, “You know we can’t keep doing this, right? You know this abuse has an expiry date?”

I agreed with my cat and knew right then and there that I’d be leaving that night after my mother fell asleep.

Well, when she was finally done (with threats that there’d be more in stock in the morning, mind you) I went to bed early and set my alarm to 3am (was a little inside joke with myself, since that’s biblically the “witching devil hour”)

I started quietly packing my quilt and cat up (I’d already been secretly packing the boot of my car up with all sentimental and important items weeks in advance, except she caught on and took all my baby albums and more to her boyfriend’s house, so I don’t have any baby photos or information on me when I was a baby anymore, like first words, size and just general things I’d have liked to compare to my own kids one day, rip)

Once that was all in my car, I quietly said goodbye to the old family dog and cat (they weren’t mine to take, not that I could’ve anyways, since it was troubling enough taking Buddy, who’s actually my pet and not the family one). That was pretty heartbreaking, as I knew that’d be the last time I’d see them (I grew up with them and was the only one who took care of them — mother neglects kids and pets alike lmao).

Once that was over, I looked around my house with my hand on the front door and was very melancholy, but knew Buddy was right: it had all reached its expiry date.

I left very quietly and drove to McDonalds for a coffee, as I had a long drive ahead (I had organised to be a nanny in this rich family’s house far away in the city — two hours drive). Luckily they were away on their country farm 4 hours away, so I had time to sneak Buddy in.

The nanny thing recently backfired horribly because they discovered Buddy, which led to more AM escapes with my car, but I’m staying with my older brother and his gf for 3 more weeks only. Something I’ve been working towards for months now is moving to a wilderness island to live in my country’s equivalent of Bag End — a beautiful country cottage, amazing job and fantastic study opportunities.

Best feature yet: it’s 60 hours away from my hometown by car, and then you’d have to take a boat for 10 more hours!! They shall never find me hahaha

One of my friends has also told me recently that my mother has started spreading horrible, defamatory rumours about me around town, but I don’t care anymore because I’m almost out.

So, although I can’t offer any practical advice (idk if you’re a minor or not, but regardless it’s great your dad is helping you!) this is the best advice I can offer:

Find a dream and hold onto it, one that doesn’t involve your immediate family. For me it’s moving to that island and enjoying all the fresh air. It’ll push you forwards and remind you of what you’re fighting for when at your lowest.

Remind yourself there will be other people in your life, whether a spouse, friends, children or even a dog! (I’m getting a golden retriever next year 🐾) And then remember that you deserve all of them and the unconditional love they offer you.

Remember that if you don’t want your mother/family screwing those people over by proxy of her/their relationship to you, then there’s no way in hell you alone should put up with it either, as I guarantee those future people only want good things for you ☀️

There is a good life after abuse, I’ve seen it, and I know you can achieve it, too!

Be prepared for tons of backlash and bullshit — it’s inescapable when dealing with people like this, but I recommend educating yourself on narcissistic parents and tactics to deal with them.

Finding a good therapist who deals in PTSD regarding childhood abuse is important, too. I found an amazing one in the town I’m moving to, who had nearly the same upbringing as me!

So while I’m still struggling with a lot of fear (scared my mother will find where I’m working and living one day) and guilt (I feel horrible about leaving the family dog and cat behind, especially when they need veterinary help, only to then go and get myself another puppy) I understand I’ve done the best I can in a very abnormal situation, and that I can only do better from here.

Also, this song has been a saving grace when going all angsty over wanting to leave your current situation:

It’s from my favourite Broadway Musical, “Newsies”, and lemme tell you — discovering this as a 17-year-old when I was just starting to realise the severity of my situation was pure divinity.

Jeremy Jordan, my beloved Broadway Bard <3

When I finally get my cottage, I’m getting a wooden plaque with the name “Santa Fe” engraved on it, and am hanging it on my front door.

I wish you much luck and love, my little anonymous friend! And please know my inbox is open any time you need anything — vent, advice, a laugh or something else, ANYTHING, it feels good to know my past can maybe help someone else’s present ☀️

Please update me, too! I’m following your story along ardently now! (Also, be sure to take your sentimental items and store them somewhere safe away from your mother — ie baby albums, birth certificates, other paraphernalia/memorabilia etc).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must hit the road. DESTINY AWAITS!

[booknerdteen]

Review Time!

★★★★★

❞𝑵𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒊𝒔, 𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒔.❞

How does one review such a book? Not that I didn’t like it. But what do I do when a book leaves me so speechless as for me to put a hold on writing the review for weeks?

Summary- I will give you a one-sentence summary-

Siblings, once inseparable- gone astray, now get a chance to remake the world on their own terms.

Thoughts- When everyone was talking about this, I heard mixed opinions. Most of them were good- stating that this book is now one of their favorites but some stated that this book is falsely representing a brother-sister relationship and is making a statutory relationship seem ok. When you make such accusations against a book- you have to back it up, none of those people who told me that actually did. So I went for it- for the book that would surely break my heart.

Can you guess what it did?

Break my heart × a million. I am not exaggerating when I say that this book was magnificent. I personally don’t read a lot of YA contemporary and when I do I usually don’t end up liking them because they were too mushy or boring. That was not the case with this book. In fact, It was quite the opposite. When I sat down to finish this book I didn’t know what was coming my way. I didn’t think a book with such a cheesy title will get to me. But I have never been so wrong in my life. Maybe it was my low expectations… or my cluelessness to what was coming my way. But I fell. And I fell hard. Truth be told, I haven’t fallen from quite this high before. Not in a while. So let this be a warning for the rant that’s about to come.

One of the things that stood out about this book was… well… everything. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever read before. But to start of this rant- The Writing. The writing was breathtaking. There was air in every word. Meaning behind every expression and it never got boring. It never tired me. Not one second of this 371-page book was I confused or bored. What did I feel you ask?

I felt-

Anger

Frustration

Love

Disgust

Fear

You might as well search up a list of emotions cause I felt all of ‘em except anything to indicate that I got tired or bored of this book. It makes me wonder about Jandy Nelson’s other works like The Sky Is Everywhere which I will be reading soon. The writing was so enlightening and didn’t need to say things for you to understand- you just did? Because you get so emerged and swept away in the writing and the story.

❞𝑴𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚.❞

The plot was something entirely different. It let you know that this world is fiction but it’s also realistic fiction. The plot swept you away but not all the time. Sometimes it left you to sweep yourself up in the air and do your own thing. It sometimes left you to your own devices- to think what you want and dream and make theories that could be the all or nothing. And although this was mostly character-driven. The plot drove me crazy. It took me to places I never thought I could venture into with my imagination.

The Diverse Characters of this book were the strong point. They weren’t that many characters but the few characters we had had a significant impact on the plot and the overall story. Jude, Noah, Mom, Dad, Oscar, Guillermo, Grandma, Brian. I was so immersed in what the characters were feeling that I forgot that I myself had feelings. Jude was human. She felt. She felt and fell. She felt and fell hard. At some points, she was selfish. She thought only of herself but that was human too. When I think about Jude, I sometimes think of stupid- that she thought It’d be ok for her and Oscar to be together. A character with so much pain and heartbreak. Jude was insanely human, and people hated her for that. I loved how imperfect Jude was. Aren’t we always asking authors for more realistic characters? Characters that aren’t so perfect? Well, here she is. Noah was interesting. Not in a bad way, not in a good way either. He was just interesting. Very interesting. We got his point of view as well and it was nice to see both perspectives although Jude’s chapters were in the future while Noah’s was in the past. Noah was in love, and he got his heart broken- multiple times. He always went back to the place he found comfort in. He always got back to drawing. So when he stopped it was obvious that something serious was wrong. Something more than what’s obvious. The character growth with Noah was outstanding. His anxiety and self-consciousness were also interesting. It made me think of how much a person can hide deep inside. How much can one lock up until it all comes out bursting?

Although this book is not for everyone, It worked for me. The exploration of a very tough subject is amazing. How carefully and beautifully all of them were dealt with was awesome. This is not just a romance. There are plenty of sub-genres in this book and switching through different timelines and perspectives was refreshing. All the different characters were so layered and came out so flawed and imperfect. I loved each of them (except Zephyr and Fry) greatly and wholeheartedly. Sure, it took me a while to get used to Jude because she wasn’t a very likable character at the start, but like all the other characters, she rubbed off on me.

Overall- I’ll give you the sun was more than a brother-sister relationship gone wrong. It was an entire world remade by just two people. I’ll give you the sun is an entire family reunited. It’s a dream coming true. It’s love being spread. It’s about how in your eyes- anything is possible. Even if you don’t think so. There is more than one thing in life. So take it all in. The trees, the people, the earth. Take the sun in. Because believe it or not, someone will one day say “I’ll give you the sun.”

|Trigger/Content Warnings- child neglect, anxiety, anger issues, car accident, loss of a loved one (parent), death, alcoholism, guilt, depression, rape (statutory), slut-shaming, suicidal thoughts|

[comphersjost]

All for You | 2 ➸ Brady Tkachuk and Matthew Tkachuk

hi, its 3 am, and i couldnt stop until i finished this. ik i promised yall another part on thursday so im sorry this is later then i was hoping. i hope you enjoy it :) i took a different approach to brady here than ive normally seen, let me know how you guys like it!!

It’s been 4 and a half months since that day in the basement. With Christmas just days away and Matty on a flight back home, you and Brady take a risk, leaving Matt to wonder where he went wrong.

word count: 4.6k

warnings: this is really angsty yall, like actually, smut, sir kink, brady is Mean, uh moral ambiguity sorta (thinking abt someone else during sex), d/s undertones sorta, unprotected sex (be safe), oral (m on f), some choking, alcohol (wine), sex under the influence, pls ignore any typos fkakldfa

part one

part two

part three

part four

part five

masterlist

Even with how utterly fucked the situation was that Matt had found himself in, there was one thing he couldn't stop thinking about. It was the way his logo and his last name and his number rested against your back that drove him insane.

It was burned into his retinas.

Even now, on a plane back home to St. Louis it was all he could think about. Every time he closed his eyes it was you you you.

It had been months since he had seen you. Nearly 5 months had passed since that night in the basement. And it killed him.

He was in a slump. Everyone knew it. He knew it, his teammates knew it, the damn front office knew it. And it was because of you.

His teammates had quickly put together your absence at any sort of gathering and Matty’s sulking. 4 and a half months later he resembles a shell of the man he used to be.

He had called, of course he had. Over and over, hoping, pleading, praying to any deity that existed out there to hear from you again.

Matthew’s prayer was answered one day, when he had come out of practice to find a text from you. His heart rate accelerated, time felt like molasses as his phone camera ID’d his face. As the facial recognition unlocks his phone, the message is revealed.

Please stop calling me. And tell the boys to stop too.

The text tears his heart to shreds. It was the last straw. Before he had been mopey, but now - now he was spiraling. His play was abysmal - a shit show on the ice really. He drank until he blacked out every time, not even looking at another girl.

He had contemplated going to your work, but decided a player in the middle of a slump having a restraining order filed against him would not go over well with the Flames management. Every time he went out for the most mundane task, groceries, dry cleaning, he couldn’t help the hope that he would run into you. Even if you didn’t give him the time of day it would be enough for him to just see you.

He hadn’t seen you since that day. Not for lack of trying, though. Matthew had been to all the spots you used to frequent—the grocery store you love, the clubs you two used to go to, even the 7/11 you had both been to after the both of you got so drunk that you could barely walk. You weren’t on the flight you had booked back together. In fact, he had no idea about anything that’s been going on in your life, his mom just told him that you’re okay and that was all he got.

Now it was 3 days before Christmas and the idea of seeing you again both filled him with dread and also made him feel more alive than he had in months. He was equally utterly terrified and buzzing with excitement. His hands itched to hold you again, though he knew there was a bigger chance of you slapping him than letting him kiss you the way he wanted.

As Matt stares out the window at the clouds, he lets his mind wander. He wonders how you're doing; are you okay? After everything that happened did you pick up right where you left off? He wondered if you missed him, if he was on your mind as much as you were on his.

He still wondered if you loved him back.

-

“Mom, I really just, I really want to stay home and do nothing tonight okay? I'm tired.”

Your mom rolls her eyes at your attempt at getting out of going over to Tkachuk’s house tonight. You’d been trying since 9 am.

“Honey, I know you said you and Matthew don’t hang out anymore, but he won't be there!” she tried reassuring you, “Brady and Taryn will be there to hang out with you until Taryn goes to spend the night with the Johnson’s.” That made you groan even louder - you had to be alone with Brady. Great, now you had to steel yourself for a night of utter humiliation.

Brady isn't even downstairs yet when you enter the Tkachuk’s threshold, Chantal’s call for her kids brings Taryn down in an instant, ever excited to see you.

“Y/N!” she squeals, running down the stairs, “You're here, you're here!”

“Y/N?” you hear faintly, and then the slam of Brady’s door and rapid footsteps. He nearly slides down the stairs, freezing at the bottom when he spots you. Taryn lets you out of her embrace, leaving you to stare wide-eyed at Brady. Unsure how to navigate your way out of this situation, you keep staring at Brady as your parents and Taryn follow Chantal to the kitchen.

“Hi, B,” you say meekly, unsure of how he’ll receive you after so long.

“Hi, buttercup,” he responds, a bright smile pulling at his lips. It’s all he needs to take a few quick steps in your direction and draw you into his arms.

“I missed you so much, buttercup,” he whispers against your hairline, “More than you know.”

Despite his warm welcome, the night is tense. You still don't know what he thinks of that night, not wanting to ask him in front of your families - well, most of your families anyways. You didn't even let yourself think about what would happen when you saw Matthew at the next dinner party. You sat at the table and ate your food, barely speaking to Taryn and answering Keith and Chantal’s inquiries about your life in Calgary with a tight smile.

You’re so zoned out trying to make time go faster you barely register your parents telling you that they’re going out with Keith and Chantal.

“Mom, wait-”

“Y/N,” she warns, looking at you with that look, and you sigh in resignation. She smiles at you, a silent promise to make it up to you.

Taryn had left 30 minutes ago, announcing that she had somewhere to be before leaving as quickly as she could, uncomfortable with the palpable tension between you and Brady.

You watch your parents leave, wincing for a moment at what awaits you when you turn around. To your surprise, what greets you is a glass of wine hovering in front of your face.

You take the peace offering gingerly from Brady’s hand with a tiny smile. And it’s a really bad idea, the way you let him keep refilling your glass, and his own, let him draw you in during The Grinch on the couch, let him hold you tight under the blanket that was covering the both of you.

You can hear your common sense screaming in the back of your mind when you snuggle closer into Brady’s chest. It’s near 11 now, and your parents are still together, laughing and drinking in the living room of your house before Keith and Chantal are supposed to head to the airport. You're cuddled up to Brady, shifting every few minutes to try and get closer, even though nearly every inch of your body is practically glued to him.

He hums when you shift again, nuzzling your face into his shoulder. “Gotta go home,” you say, your voice muffled against him. It’s not like you haven't spent the night with him before; you just haven't since that night.

“Probably,” he mumbles, arms tightening around you. “But I don't want you to.” And like, you've had way too much wine and you should probably go before Matty gets here cause you really can't handle that conversation like this so you push off of Brady, standing up but stumbling, wine sloshing over the lip of the glass and splattering on your pants.

“Fuck,” you hiss, the red wine surely staining the gray leggings you wore. Brady takes the glass from you, placing it on the table and stabilizing you with his other hand.

“Go change upstairs,” he says softly, looking up at you with those eyes you're such a sucker for. “Stay.”

And - how can you say no to that? You can't, because it's Brady and you're so damn easy for him it didn't matter what he’d asked you to do, you would do it without a second thought.

That's how you find yourself stumbling to Brady’s bedroom, barely finding your way to his bathroom to change out of your stained leggings and wipe yourself down. You rummage through Brady’s dresser, searching for - there it was. A pair of Brady’s sweatpants from high school that he stopped wearing approximately 2 months after he got them [mostly because he couldn't find them (mostly mostly because they were either in your room or on your body)].

You place the worn sweats on top of Brady’s dresser, fumbling to close the drawer and find your balance. Someone clears their throat and your head snaps towards the doorway. Brady is leaning against the doorframe and through the fuzziness of the wine, you register the thought that he looks so good like this - in his comfort zone.

“Hey,” he says, pushing off the doorframe towards you.

“Hi,” you whisper back, eyes too focused on Brady moving towards you.

“We should give it a shot,” Brady husks, hooded eyes trailing down your body and back up again. Suddenly the room feels too cold, the oversized sweater you had on stopped at the top of your thighs, barely covering the pale pink panties you were wearing. The sweater paws gave an air of innocence around you that Brady knew was fake.

“What are you talking about?” you whisper meekly, both concerned about what was going on in that head of his, and intrigued.

“You know how you feel about me,” Brady states - which isn't entirely true anymore, but you don’t interrupt. “I don’t know how I feel about you, and neither of us actually knows if this-” he motions between the two of you “-is it for us, so I say, we give it a shot and see how it feels. Let’s give it until we go back?”

When did he get so close to you? Brady’s taking more steps forward, and you’re taking as many steps back, until the back of your thighs hit the corner of the bed and you instinctively sit.

Which - in retrospect, was probably a mistake, because now Brady towers over you even more than before and now - you’re really intrigued. His fingers trail over your jaw, thumb swiping gently across your bottom lip.

You part your lips out of habit, eyes widen when you realize what you’ve done. Brady laughs darkly when he catches your slip up, stroking your face affectionately.

His thumb slips between your lips for a moment, and your eyes flutter shut as your cheeks hollow around him.

“Look at me,” he commands softly, and you do, opening your eyes to stare up at him again; Brady, your best friend. He smiles proudly, murmuring a soft, “Good girl.”

The words are uttered at the same time he withdraws from your warm mouth, wrapping his fingers gently around your throat. You can’t help the whine that escapes, mortified when Brady’s grin widens.

He leans down, mouth next to your ear to whisper, “Matty always did like it when they’re needy. Needy girls drive us crazy.”

Really, the thought of Matt shouldn’t be driving you crazy, but it is. And when you feel Brady’s nose nudge against yours, his mouth just millimeters from you - your biggest fantasy for nearly 20 years - you knew you were going to hell.

A needy moan escapes your throat before Brady’s hand tightens around your throat and you give in, looping your arms around his neck. You pull him down to meet your lips, nearly clawing at him in your desperation.

Faintly, you think that this is a bad idea, this would only hurt you more later on.

But the longer you kissed him, the less you cared about the consequences. You wanted - you needed Brady so fucking bad right now you were willing to deal with whatever the aftermath presented you with. Brady’s other hand finds the bottom of your sweater, slipping underneath the fabric to lay against your rib cage.

You needed more.

“Brady,” you whine as you break away from his lips, tugging at his hoodie. “Need you.” Brady chuckles darkly, tugging you by your throat to kiss him again.

“Ask nicely,” he husks against your mouth.

“Please,” you whimper again, pulling harder at the fabric to just get him closer. “Please, Brady, I need you so bad.”

“Try again.” Brady pushes you - nearly tosses you really - further up the bed with a snarl, ignoring the yelp you let out at the suddenness of his mood shift. You stare up at him, eyes wide and lips parted. You're unsure of your next words.

“Please…Daddy?”

A cocky smirk pulls at the corner of his lips. “Not quite.”

You think for a moment, watching him bring his hand behind his back and pull his shirt over his head. The dark look he gives you makes you shrink, as if to say ‘Still?’.

Suddenly your eyes light up, and Brady can see it. He's already on the bed, crawling up your body as you attempt to control your breath. The words are barely out before he's kissing you again.

“Please sir?”

Brady groans into your mouth when he hears you say the words, slotting himself between your thighs to grind his hips against yours. You mewl into his mouth when his clothed cock catches against your clit, pushing your hips up against him for more. He growls as he pulls away again, swatting your thigh as a warning.

“Careful, princess,” Brady warns - voice low and dangerous - and his grip on your hip so tight you knew there would be bruises in the morning, “or I won't be.” His words are thick with intention, both a threat and a promise.

“Yes, sir,” you breathe shakily, letting yourself fall against the sheets to look up at him.

Brady’s eyes soften for a moment, reaching up to brush your hair out of your eyes. “Hi,” he whispers, leaning down to steal a kiss.

“Hi,” comes your response. He steals another kiss before pulling away again, and you can't help but think that he looks beautiful like this.

I love you. I'm in love with you.

You want to say it, the voice inside you is screaming it. It’s screaming for you to say it, and Brady is looking at you almost like he wants you to too.

The feeling of his hands pushing your sweater up distracts you from your plight. Brady’s movement is slow, and he’s looking at you intensely, giving you time to stop him. You only nod, and the softness is gone as soon as it had come. You lift your arms to help him bring the material over your head. He tosses the sweater to the side, catching your wrists when you reach for him. He guides them back over your head, smirking as you suppress a shudder when he leans in a whispers against your mouth. “Be a good girl and keep your hands there princess.”

You nod quickly, grasping the sheets in anticipation. Another slap to your thigh has you rethinking.

“I’m sorry!” you gasp. “Yes, sir.”

Brady hums in acknowledgment, kissing down your throat until he’s staring up at you from the valley between your breasts. You whine softly when he pulls a nipple into his mouth, his teeth grazing the harden peak before soothing it with his tongue. His hand is pinching and pulling at your other nipple, making your noises significantly louder. He alternates, playing with your nipples until they're swollen and sensitive and sore.

He sits back on his heels to look at you, hands on your knees now, sliding up your thighs. His eyes roam your body unabashedly, while his fingers play with the waistband of your panties. There's a burning look in his eyes as he says, “You're gorgeous. You're so fucking beautiful.”

You don't know why hearing him say it makes you tear up. Brady had told you that you were pretty before, that you cleaned up nice, always telling you how hot you were when he'd see you dressed up before events. He was your own personal hype man but he'd never called you beautiful.

Not like this.

Not like Matty.

Not like Matty.

The thought makes your blood run cold.

“Please,” you mewl, starting to reach for Brady before remembering what he told you. Your hands fly back above your head, twisting in the sheets, whispering, “I’m sorry, sir, I forgot.”

Brady smiles softly, slipping his finger under the waistband of your panties, tugging on it before letting it snap back against your skin. “Such a good girl,” he murmurs, leaning down to kiss softly at your stomach. “Trying so hard to be good for me.” He shuffles himself backwards as he kisses his way down your body, sliding your panties down your legs at the same time until they've fallen to the floor.

“Wait,” you say softly, causing Brady to pause, his expression quizzical. “Please, I need you.”

Brady grins wickedly. “Just a taste princess.”

It turns out, ‘a taste’ actually means Brady edging you with his tongue until you were nearly crying. He's brought you to the brink three times now, each time getting you closer and closer before pulling away. At this point he's holding your hips down and your hands are as tangled in the sheets as you could get them, not wanting the repercussions of disobeying.

Brady’s tongue is sliding through your folds again when you finally break.

“Please!” you sob, tears finally sliding down your cheeks as your back arches from the pleasure. “Please, Brady, please, sir, please please, I- I need - please just - fuck - please.”

Brady hums against your cunt, the vibrations tearing a scream from your throat. Suddenly the warmth of Brady’s mouth is gone, leaving you chasing him with a buck of your hips. He pins you back down again easily, his lips glistening as he smirks. You hate the way the sleazy look on his face does it for you.

It reminds you of Matt.

You whine again, wiggling your hips as much as you could in Brady’s grip. “Please just fuck me,” you whisper, squeezing your eyes shut. You feel his lips press against your hip, smiling against your skin.

“Anything my girl wants, she gets,” he murmurs against your skin.

My girl. The words echo over and over again in your head. My girl my girl my girl.

Two words you've been waiting years to hear come out of his mouth, and the only thing you could think of was how you liked it better when Matty said it.

Your eyes stay shut as Brady kisses up your body, fingertips dancing over your skin. His mouth finds yours, emptying your brain of all other thoughts but him.

“You ready for me, pretty girl?” he asks you, a hand coming up to stroke your cheek gently, wiping your tears away. Your eyes flutter open, to look at him, nodding as you bite your lip. His thumb tugs your lip out from between your teeth as you feel the tip of his dick brush against your thigh. You didn't even realize that he had taken off the rest of his clothes, but you weren't complaining. Not with him so close like this.

“Please,” you whimper, and after stealing another kiss, Brady sinks into your heat.

“Fuuuuuck,” he groans, gripping the back of your thigh to spread your legs even further. “You're so fucking tight, fuck you feel so good.” Once he’s bottomed out, Brady leans down to kiss you, swallowing your desperate noises.

He gives you little time to adjust, and really - you don't need it considering the way he tortured you with his mouth and fingers. You're whining into his mouth as his hips move against you, the drag off his cock inside you so fucking good after being denied like you were.

You're close already, and Brady knows, delivering sharp thrusts and hitting a spot inside you that made you see stars.

He finally breaks from your lips, breathing heavily as his hips slam into your cunt. “I'm so close,” you tell him, gripping the sheets above your head so hard you feel like you might rip them. “Please, please let me cum, sir, please.”

It seems like Brady finally thinks you've had enough torture, because he brings his hand from your thigh to your clit, rubbing quick tight circles. “You've been so good for me baby,” he grunts, his other hand holding him up so he can look down at you. “Come on baby, you can touch me now, come on princess, cum for me.”

That's all it takes to send you over the edge. Your hands come flying from above your head to grasp at Brady, his shoulders, his back, tangling in his hair, anything to just touch him. You cry out as your orgasm hits, your back arching under Brady as he relentlessly fucks you through it.

You faintly register Brady’s filthy encouragement in your ears, telling you how good you are for doing what he says, for not touching him this whole time, for cumming for him like this. You writhe against him as you feel him spill into you, grunting as he fucks into you, chasing his orgams with shallow, sloppy thrusts. It feels like you've been riding your high forever; your vision is blurry when you finally come down.

Brady’s breath is hot on your neck, his hands stroking your skin gently as the two of you catch your breath. He shushes you gently as you moan when he pulls out of you. Brady practically collapses next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist, tugging you into his chest. He peppers kisses across your skin, nudging his nose against your cheek to grab your attention.

You can barely turn your head, suddenly so tired you feel like you'll pass out right that second. “Hi,” he murmurs, kissing you gently. You hum and bury your face in his neck.

“‘M sleepy,” you mumble against his skin, eliciting a soft laugh from him.

“Then sleep,” he says, before smirking devilishly, “don't worry there's lots more where that came from, but in the morning.” You snort at his words, squeezing the back of his neck before burying your fingers in his curls.

“Night, B,” you mumble.

“Goodnight, buttercup.”

-

Matthew was going to kill his brother. He was going to straight up murder him. On top of not being there to pick him up from the airport, he also didn't answer any texts or calls from Matt.

So yeah, when Matthew got home, he was going to kill Brady. When the Uber finally pulls up in front of him, Matthew is nearly halfway done with his plan to get away with it.

He fiddles with his phone as the driver pulls away from the curb, scanning the random notifications that he had popped up when he got off the plane. It's when he opens up Instagram that he really pays attention, the 3 stories in a row at the top of his feed catching his eye.

Taryn’s, yours, and Brady’s. Against his better judgement, he taps Taryn’s magenta-rimmed profile picture. The story takes a moment to load, but when it does, he sees a picture of you in front of the Tkachuk’s Christmas tree. You had your arms out in a ‘ta-da’ fashion, the fingers barely poking out through the sleeves of your sweater. Taryn’s caption reads “didn’t need an angel for the tree cause we already got @y/n/y/l/n”. He can't help but smile fondly, so distracted by how cute you look that he just stares at you until the time is up - but not before pressing on the screen so he could screenshot the photo.

Your first story was a repost of Taryn’s, a simple white heart emoji in the bottom corner. The second was a shot of the TV in the Tkachuk’s living room displaying the Grinch’s title. The caption reads “heart grows two sizes bigger when i’m home :)”. The location is tagged as St. Louis, with Taryn and Brady tagged in the corner of the photo. The third post makes his blood run cold, it's a video of you and Brady, your back against his chest as you lay on the couch, the caption the cross-eyed emoji and Brady’s handle. Brady is facing away from the camera in the beginning of the video, your eyebrows raised as you wait for him to notice. When he does he laughs and reaches for your phone. The video cuts off there.

Matthew taps the left side of his screen to replay it, an unpleasant feeling twisting in his gut. He doesn't want to watch Brady’s story, but he taps the right side of his screen anyways. It's a photo of you on the couch, one knee pulled up to your chest with the other in Brady’s lap, and a glass of wine in your hand. Your hair is piled into a messy bun on top of your head as you wink at the camera and make a peace sign with your free hand, tongue peaking out of the corner of your mouth.

Matt screenshots the picture.

He’s angry; angry because his brother left him stranded at the airport. Angry because he said he hadn't spoken to you either, that you didn't answer any of his texts and calls since that night. He's angry because Brady managed to get you back, and Matt didn't.

Matty’s angry because he loves you, and he's pretty sure you still love Brady.

When the car finally pulls up to the house, he’s almost relieved. He notes that the lights are off downstairs as he lets himself in, pausing when he sees your shoes still by the door. The glow of the TV is visible in the living room, and as Matt pads towards it, the uneasy feeling grows.

There's two partially filled glasses of wine on the coffee table, as well as yours and Brady’s phones. He taps on Brady’s phone, revealing the unread texts and unanswered calls from Matt, as well as an unread text from Chantal, telling Brady that he would have to be the one to pick up Matty from the airport.

The pit in Matt’s stomach only deepens as he climbs the stairs, duffle bag in hand. He goes slowly, trying to prolong his inevitable heartbreak, but it doesn't change what he sees at the top.

Brady’s bedroom door is half open, the light from the hallway streaming in.

Matthew knows it's a bad idea when he takes one, two, three steps and he's in front of Brady’s door. He takes a deep breath and pokes his head inside the room. The sight nearly knocks the wind out of him.

You're tucked under Brady’s arm, your nose squished against his cheek and your hand curled around his neck.  He can see the bare skin of your back and stomach pressed against Brady’s bare torso. A blanket covers the both of you from the waist down. Brady’s hair is a mess, and so is yours, and suddenly Matt feels nauseous.

He feels like he would do anything - anything - to make the feeling in his chest go away. It feels like pressure, too much pressure, in his chest, and he nearly clutches his heart. The blood is rushing in his ears, he can't breathe, he feels dizzy.

Why does it hurt so much?

Before he can think it through he’s stumbling to his room. He kicks the door shut behind him, tossing the duffle back on the floor near his bed. His hands are reaching for the backpack on his shoulders and pulling out his laptop before it even hits the ground. He doesn't even sit, placing the laptop on his bed and bending down to type into the search bar.

He barely pays attention to the final amount when he hits “confirm” - he has more money than he knows what to do with anyways. The moment it’s done he sighs, watching the Gmail notification light up on his phone.

“Flight Confirmation, December 23rd, 2020 11:25 pm

St. Louis, Missouri to Calgary, Canada”

[cottoncandyjester]

Wait....Top Wholesome Y/N gets terrifying jealous. Can I request that!? Y/N wrap their arms around the yandere's waist (hugging them from behind) and lay their forehead on their shoulder. Y/N takes a deep sigh and looks at them with a glare full of anger (or horniness...but mostly Y/N being piss off.) Y/N whisper in their ear, "Let's go home...I need to release some steam." Yandere is unable to walk the next morning. (Can you write it about the yanderes who are just...bottoms? Or become a bottom when Y/N is a top? Thank you)

I just adore the thought of the yanderes being bottoms to a possessive y/n

Skipped hikaru cause he has a whole story bout him being a bottom

Didn't add scarlett cause there is no way she is a bottom, the only way she would ever bottom is if maybe she was with a feral reader

This story contains: smut, jealous reader, reader giving off soft yandere vibes

Theodore

Theo was incredibly handsome so it's only natural that someone would wish to flirt with him. He had took you to one of his favorite coffee shop for a relaxing date, all it took was you leaving to the bathroom only to return to have a flock of girls around him. "Oh, well thank you for such kind words but I'm on a date" it seems they weren't getting the hint so you walked over before simply plopping down in theo's lap a sharp glare on your face while the male pushed up his glasses his face red before he placed a hand on your thigh. "Theo, let's go home now."

Your hands gripped the male's hair as he felt like his hips were breaking from you slamming down on his cock over and over and over. "Y-y/n~ y-you're being too rough on me i-i cant-" his shaky words were met with a rough kiss before you pulled back watching his eyes get teary. "Who owns you and this cock?" Your voice was low and filled with a burning rage that you just had to release. With that you continued to ride him in such a way that drove him absolutely insane, you were definitely in control of this situation "y-you do! I-im all yours!"

Axis

"oh so you're blind? Poor baby. Must be hard on you."

Axis nervously stood waiting for you to show up to the movie theater for your date and while waiting some older women decided that he was just too adorable to pass up. The male tried to explain that he was on a date but it seems they weren't getting it "y-you all a-are really k-kind but I'm waiting for my-" his words were cut off when a scent hit his nose and like an excited dog he turned his head towards the smell before feeling a soft hand against his arm. It's you! He knew that smell anywhere! You wrapped your arms around his waist your breathing tickling his neck.

"hey babe, let's go home and watch movies instead okay?"

Axis drooled as he felt you grip his hair yanking his head close to your sex making him pleasure you while you pumped your fingers deeper into his hole. "You're such a sweetie, but you shouldn't be so kind to strangers ax it makes me sad" your pouting tone made the male whine and whimper as he trailed his tongue along your more sensitive of areas

"i-i never wanna make you sad..never! P-please forgive me y/n!"

Salem

Salem had his nature of docile and calm, moments where you two can go on a date on public without making a scene. Though feeling someone rub against him always riled him up so when you excused yourself to the bathroom while you do were eating breakfast at a diner it wasn't long until he had some flirty strangers sit beside him and rub along his thigh trying to take him home.

"you're hair is so pretty, I've never seen a boy with such pretty long hair" their voice was making salem's head spin though he wasn't sure if that was good or bad. His instant thought was downright gruesome they weren't you, so it was okay to eat them..right?

Salem started to drool which they must've taken as intense pleasure cause it wasn't long until he was backed into the corner of the booth trying to hold in his cannibalistic urges while he felt hands trail up his thighs. And soon the feeling was whipped away as you pulled the stranger away before grabbing salem's hand your eyes cold and filled with rage. It was time to go home

"who owns you?! Who owns everything about you?!"

Your voice was drowned out by salem's loud squeals and moans as you thrusted deep into his hole your hands gripping the leash connected to the collar around his neck that choked him. "Y/n! Y/n! Y/n!" His chanted got more and more whinier as you fucked him harder until he was sobbing and shaking under you. Salem was such a good boy

Prince

Prince was a total ladies man or at least he was until he met you, he had to let all his many one night stands know that he was off the market though some just didn't get the memo. "Come now princey, you really gonna say no to me? Don't you remember what we did right here after hours...we were so loud I'm sure the whole area heard it" prince nervously gazed at the female who sat at his bar clearly wanting another ride. His main worry was you coming back thinking he was unfaithful.

"Sorry but I don't put my dick just anywhere anymore"

"but you could, you always hated commitment so why bother now?"

Before prince can utter a word you were hopping over the bar without a single care in the world. "Hey babe, you done working?"

Prince admired your badass nature and simply nodded ready to go, though he missed that deadly glare you shot towards the slut.

"if your groupies can only see you now, whining and whimpering to feel an ounce of pleasure" you spoke lowly as prince bucked his hips up as you stroked his cock and fingered his hole but gave a frustrated huff when you stopped for the third time that moment, just as he was close you would stop and he was going crazy.

"p-please, have mercy"

"I'll think about it."

Yuki

Yuki gave off huge 'dont bother me' vibes but even still with that people would come up to him thinking they have a chance. You two were at the arcade and had split up since he had to use the bathroom, as he started to walk back to where you were he bumped into someone causing him to stumble back lightly. He looked and saw that it wasn't you so he proceeded to keep walking without speaking a word.

"don't leave a guy hanging now hot stuff!" The male stranger followed yuki who now scrolled through his phone ignoring the stranger but soon noticed they blocked his path. With a frustrated sigh he looked up his green eyes clearly bored and uninterested

"you're quite the looker..how about we go out together?"

"no."

They definitely wasn't expecting his dry and short response but when yuki suddenly felt himself being touched he cringed lightly making an expression one can see as cute. Having someone touch his chest that wasn't you gave him bad vibes, he didn't like that. Before he could take action you were at his side hugging against him calming his nerves down

"please don't touch him okay? He has anxiety" your sweet tone did not match your sharp glare or light scowl. With that you dragged yuki along who was more than eager to cling to you.

Yuki panted softly his back arching as you thrusted slowly inside of him making it unbearably slow, he needed more so much more and your teasing was making him crazy. "Come now, you can be louder than that can't you? Tell me what you want yuki"

"y-you, I want you..please y/n"

Rocket

Your beefed up boyfriend always got attention wherever he went, so going to the beach was probably a terrible idea honestly. You two found a perfect spot and once all set up rocket excitedly stripped out of his shirt, you definitely noticed all the stares from both male and females. Of course it wasn't long until a group of girls came up to him blushing and giggling, clearly wanting to ask him out

You sat next to him on the towel while he started to put sunscreen on, your glare was sharp as the girls started to flirt and gawk. "You're really ripped, do you work out or something?" Rocket who was oblivious as always proceeded to entertain them with his innocent answer. "Well we're going to play volleyball, of your sibling doesn't mind you leaving then maybe you can join us?"

SIBLING?! utter rage filled you but you forced a smile now standing up, rocket glanced your way and was about to correct the girls but you simply interrupted him. "Hey babe I think it's gonna start raining soon we should go" you were met by a pouty rocket who really wanted to go swimming but the two of you packed it up and went home.

The water grew cold as you stroked rocket's thick cock while standing behind him trailing kisses along his back feeling him shudder and squirm against your touch. "B-babe, I'm gonna- ngh! So good" his small moans always made you even hornier and it wasn't long until you had him pressed against the shower wall sliding inside of him and feeling his large body shiver at the feeling. Your hands going straight to his chest now groping it and squeezing his nipples

"I'll show you who you belong to"

Yuuta& yuuji

Having two boys meant twice the flirting and twice the annoying sluts bothering them. You three had taken a vacation to disneyworld and when your three weren't in the hotel fucking each other's brains out you were at the amusment park walking around and doing things.

"hey how about we ride that?" Yuuji pointed at a big roller coaster that made both you and yuuta worry about your life. As you three waited in line yuuta felt someone brush their hand against his waist, thinking that it was you he settled down not minding it until he nothing both your hands gripped yuuji's arm.

with wide eyes he turned only to see a random girl touching him but to make matters worse it seems yuuji got targeted as well by a boy, the twins had a look of discomfort. "Sorry me and my brother were wondering if you two would be open to a double date, you two are very cute and-" you cut them off with a loud fake yawn causing both boys to look towards you in worry their attention on you now.

"oh sweetie! Are you tired? We can go back to the hotel if you want?"

"damn y/n if you're sleepy you should have let us know!"

Wasn't long until you held both boys hands the three of you walking back to the hotel while you shot the strangers a hard glare.

"you two really are so cute, no wonder people fall for you." You eyed the two boys who both had their hands tied above their heads, blindfolds on while a line of sex toys sat at the end of the bed. You've been teasing their holes for the last hour and they couldn't take it much longer.

You pumped the toys into each of their holes watching their reactions, yuuji always gave the cutest moans while yuuta whined and let out small cries of bliss.

[sweetaesuga]

in your heart | first date

pairing: jungkook x female reader

genre: fluff, lil smut, established relationship au, fratboy jk! ex-fuckboy jk! bookworm reader!

warnings: language, mention of smut, jk being in love🥺

word count: 2.3k

synoypsis: jungkook decides to take you on your first date to the carnival.

timeline: takes place right after the events of in your eyes.

↳ masterlist

If someone ever disclosed to you that Jeon Jungkook would be taking you on a date, you'll laugh in their face. It was unimaginable to even believe that. Even standing in front of your mirror and checking your appearance for the tenth time so you looked spotless in his eyes, it still hasn't struck you.

But it does when he shot you a quick text that he's near and be set to emerge. And that's how the sensation in your gut tingled more, merely stumbling your mind on how you have a date with Jungkook, someone you thought you'll never be on one with.

jungkook💓: i'm outside cond out

jungkook💓: come*

You inhaled, brushing off your uneasiness. Making your way outside, you watched Jungkook's lips crane up into a smile from the sight of stunning image of you. You were only wearing a oversized yellow sweatshirt with denim shorts narrowly peeking out from underneath that. His eyes travelled further more towards your face, suddenly stopping once he saw chunks of your hair were missing. Your hair reaching at nearly the end of your shoulders instead of near your stomach, where it long rested for most of the time he's known you. Of course, it wouldn't have been an outfit for you if you didn't feature your yellow pins that held back the sides of your hair or your extravagant makeup, that today was a yellow eyeliner fading into white at the end with drawn daisies enveloped along your cheeks.

"Woah," you couldn't help obtain the smile that was flourishing onto your skin. You stopped in front of his black Mercedes-Benz that his parents gifted him for his eighteenth birthday. "You look incredible, fuck, I can't even think right now," you laughed, opening the door to get in. "I can't believe you cut your hair, oh my god you look so good."

"Thanks, you don't look so bad yourself," you winked at him, tugging your seatbelt across your chest.

"You kidding me? I look like fucking shit compared to you, my god babe, I don't think I'll be able to drive if I can't keep my eyes on the road."

He really couldn't keep his eyes on the road. Sensing his sight on you, you kept advising him to look back onto the road but in spite of everything they always come across of you. He just couldn't shake the image off his head. Your hair was short and you looked so delicate it drove him to want to take you from behind, equal to the way he did it in the fraternity bathroom a week ago. His palms curled tightly around the wheel, bringing back the promise he made to you the following day to take things slow.

But how could he? You looked so pretty seated besides him while humming the words to the song echoing throughout the car. He wanted nothing more than to be in between your legs, pounding into you ruthlessly while he whispered filthy things in your ears only to be met with your sullen whines.

"What rides are you excited for?" your hand laid on his thigh, dangerously close to his crotch. It was almost like you were trying to provoke him, to pull over and take you in the back seat but by the curiosity in your tone he could deduce that those weren't your true intentions.

The one where you ride me, he thought glancing over at you in case some telepathy happened and you were able to hear him. "The one where it spins you around while you're strapped onto the sides."

"Of course you would be excited for that one," you giggled and removed your hand, disregarding Jungkook's breath of relief. "I feel like I'm going to vomit just by thinking about it, let's eat after we go on that one or the person besides me will have my food on them." he nodded, shuddering at the thought that it could be him ending up with food on him.

The drop tower and ferris wheel covered in bright colors with the purpose of standing out and attract residents, came into your sight. The big words of the amusement park’s name laying out in front of you. Jungkook glanced to see your lit up eyes, unable to contain his smile from your reaction.

"I swear, amusement parks bring out another side of you," he laughed, parking the car. You squealed happily, feeling nostalgic about being at one. Unbuckling your seat belt, you jumped out the car and paced over to the gates. Long forgotten, your date ran after you.

"They remind me of us when we were in high school. Gosh, do you remember when you practically forced me to go on the drop tower?" you laughed at the memory of Jungkook, who evidently never took no as an answer, I mean that's how he managed to land a date with you, begged you to come with him. He promised to hold your hand at all times even when waiting in line.  After long nagging and promises to buy you more books from Barnes & Noble, you agreed and you regretted it quickly. Your face was stuffed down a garbage can, throwing up the corn dogs that he treated you earlier.The embarrassment came when you looked up and discovered the people staring at you with compassion. Jungkook was nowhere nearby, perhaps holding your hair back rather he was flirting with a pretty brunette, attempting to receive her number.

"Don't remind me," he winced. He shook his head, getting rid of the memory. "I feel like a fucking asshole just by thinking about it. You didn't even talk to me for the rest of the day, hopefully it doesn't end like that."

His wishes became true. The night mostly consisted of laughter and Jungkook being the best boy ever. First, you went to the carousel. Jumping onto one of the horses while Jungkook took a seat right next to you. Second, you made your way over to the ride Jungkook was so eager to get on. Although it appeared scary to just be standing up and bound onto a wall while it spun, it was incredible. The only sound traveling through your ears was Jungkook’s cackling. Tears were brimming in your eyes by the end of it, not registering how hard you both laughed during all of it. The rest was sort of a blur to you, dragging Jungkook from ride to ride and more laughter.

You even faced the drop tower again. Hand resting against Jungkook's sweaty palm, he cautioned you to not look down to keep you from panicking. You kept your sight in front of you, watching the ferris wheels lights glow. Jungkook paid more attention to his feet hanging in the air, rather than the pretty sight in front of him, kicking them high in the air.You opened your mouth to ask him if he thought it was taking too long but before it could push past your lips, you suddenly drop to the floor at full speed. A horrific scream is let out, you don't even realize it's yours until you come back to your senses. Jungkook yelled out happily, legs kicking frantically while trying to pry his eyes open.

That man was insane.

You still thought that when you stared at him while he ate his hot dog, commenting on the flavor and combination every minute. A little ketchup is left behind near his lips, you reached out to clean it off. He stopped talking about how the bread didn't go with the sausage, eyes focused on you. You smiled at him before turning to look at the children in front of you blowing bubbles into the air while forcing their annoyed father to watch them. Jungkook's gaze is locked on your face, observing you munch on your corn dog.

"I seriously can't get over you with that haircut," he grinned as you whined at him to stop mentioning it. "I can't help it. You just look so pretty. What made you want to cut it anyway?" he took a bite out of his hot dog. His doe eyes gleamed with curiosity.

"I've always wanted to cut my hair short," you admitted, moving your corn dog higher so you wouldn't have to stick it down your throat to eat the rest. "It's just—you mentioned that you've always liked me with my long hair so I never tried cutting it so I could try to somewhat impress you. I was going to cut it a week ago."

Jungkook smiled at you when your cheeks flushed. "I do like you when your hair is long, it reminds me when we first met," he watched as your smile surfaced. "Your hair was fucking long when we met and overtime it kept getting shorter. But I don't care about how you look. You could be bald and I'll still want to be with you. Even though I won't have anything to hold on to when I fuck you, I'll have a plunger—"

"Okay, shut the fuck up you just ruined the mood," you rolled your eyes while Jungkook laughed at his own joke. He finished the last of corn dog. "Come on, let's go ferris wheel."

"Oooooo, are we going to be making out when we get to the top?" he's quick to grasp onto your hand, holding it tightly around his larger one. He's half joking but is serious about it. It's been a week since the frat party and his body was begging to touch you.

"No. I don't kiss on the first date," you smirked and walked in front of him. His eyebrows furrowed. So you weren't giving to fulfill his cravings of being able to feel you again.

"What the fuck do you mean you don't kiss on the first date? But you let me fuck you before the first date so it doesn't really matter."

"Actually it does. Remember what we said?" you glanced behind you to make sure he can hear you. "We said we'll takes things slow."

"I've waited too long," he whined, stomping on his feet and resembled a little child.

You shook your head, lining up to have a turn on the ferris wheel. Jungkook looked down at his feet, playing with the little pebbles. "Aren't you cold?" his sight on your exhibited legs, remembering how they looked spread out for him. "You should've worn some sweatpants or something that doesn't leave you freezing."

His concern over you being cold only expanded your smile even more. "I'm fine, Jungkook," he frowned at your response but kept nagging you about how you should've put something more comfortable on. "It is, they're extra stretchable," you moved along the line.

"They must be, for them to fit around your ass," you squealed when he pinched your butt. He earned a glare from the lady behind you but his attention was solely on you. You batted his hands away before giving him a warning to keep his hands to himself. You move forward leaving Jungkook behind. He called out your name and you turned around. He's pointing to the height requirement sign with a huge arrow where all passengers must stand at. "I don't think your short ass can get on," he joked. You sent him the middle finger, facing forward.

You remained like that until you were hopping onto one of the passenger car, Jungkook following close behind. His shoulder pressed up against yours as he pulled you closer. The two of you moved up, waiting for other people to get on before it could actually could commence.

Jungkook rocked the car back and forth slightly. You whined and slapped his chest but he only laughed at you and continued doing so. "Stop doing that, you know I'm not good with heights," you both looked out of the car, watching the lights from the amusement park light up.

The ferris wheel began moving, taking you back slightly. The neon colors popping out in the dark. The children holding their glow sticks and other toys that lit up can be seen from where you're seated. Jungkook pulled out his phone, aiming it towards it all.You squealed and hid your face when his camera travelled over to you. His laughter was enveloping your hearing and you felt like the teenager all again who had a fat crush on him and just enjoyed spending time with him.

He put his phone away, telling you he'll stop taking pictures. Peeking out from behind your hands, you saw that he's already smiling at you. "I can't fucking believe I managed to win you over," there's a huge lump on his throat but he forced his words out anyway. "I swear to god I won't fuck this up. I really want to be with you and I'm so sorry for not reciprocating your feelings earlier, it would've saved us a lot of time."

"Shh," the cart finally stopped at the top. "We have all the time in the world now. It's okay, we're okay now." Jungkook stared down at you, begging on the inside for a kiss. The timing was perfect, you were at the top, it would be like a perfect romantic first date story when he tells his family and friends about it.

You leaned forward to meet his lips, hand gripping onto the back of his nape. His lips moved furiously against yours, the car beginning to move once again. He pulled away, mind coming down from the blissful state he was in. Jungkook stared into your eyes before breaking out into a smile. He wondered if it's a dream, if he'll wake up from it anytime now and go back to just being your friend.

It really wasn't however, you were finally in his arms.

a/n: the only reason why i wrote in your eyes is so i can create a drabble series of the couple so i’m happy that i’m finally doing it🤧

[vinylhazza]

“i want to go home” and “let me go” with ethan 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 make it angsty i missed ur angst

you don’t want to fight with him. you weren’t the fighting type, but christ he can be insufferable sometimes. it hurt you to fight with him - no matter how much he deserved to have his ass handed to him on more than one occasion.

ethan is stubborn. often times brooding during your time together. you’ve known that since the first day you met him and watched with confused delite when he refused for you to pay for your own coffee only minutes after having small talk. he wasn’t the easiest to understand right off the bat that’s for sure. he’d talked of things far beyond your comprehension and spoke eloquently. he’d inserted his card into the chip reader with his brows turned down in a pout, dark hair a perfect mess atop his head, shoes shined, suit pressed. the corners of his mouth drooped to match his adorable pout, merely shaking his head briskly when you’d tried to pay him back. you’d known it to be a kind gesture, and he confirmed those thoughts by later slipping the small white receipt piece in your jacket pocket with seven messy digits drawn right next to a sloppy smiley face.

you still have that receipt in the top drawer of your nightstand. that spark...you remembered that first spark. thinking of him from that day on was habit, and often times more than you could handle. he’d captured a part of you before you’d even realized it. he had that effect on people.

you waited weeks until you’d texted him, too much of a chicken-shit to think he actually meant it as anything more than a kind gesture for listening to him drone on about marketing for at least a half an hour. to your surprise, he had texted back in minutes. from them on he’d made every attempt at scoring a date with you, and when he finally did - you had the best night of your life. 

boy did the man have a personality. take that as you will. 

if he so much as felt you were having an attitude, he’d refuse your kisses until you agreed to talk to him like a “big girl.” you knew from the moment he whipped his head to the side and shut his eyes, your body going still where you leaned across the table watching him pay bills or work on deadline work. not only did it make you want to fall into the floor and hope the foundation swallowed you up, but it forced you to talk - something you could never get him to do. 

ethan only buys you the best of the best despite your objections. you figured that’s what love means to him in a way, giving your all even if it wasn't emotionally. you'd never had the guts to tell him you like to be held more than anything. he makes sure to never leave you unsatisfied in bed - especially if he noticed your legs weren’t shaking hard enough to his liking. tells you any story you want to hear if it means you’ll sleep peacefully. let’s you read your favorite books to him: his head in your lap, arms crossed over his chest in thought, pondering eyes on the ceiling. he’d stop you for explanations along the way. it was an adorable habit that you will love until the end of time. the fact that he wanted to hear your thoughts. you found yourself jotting down scribbles in the margins just to remember the moments exactly as they were: pure. 

he tries to act hard, like the world is his slave and bends at his will, you know - oh you know just how soft his heart truly was. even if he was an arrogant ass 87% of the time. but he’s learning. how to be a boyfriend, how to be a man that doesn’t have to hide from vulnerability and emotion. he’s learning despite his discomfort. 

ethan never wanted help when making the bed, no matter how many times you insisted and he always wanted to help you put your sunscreen on during summer and run your baths when you’ve had a long day. his work computer was shut off at seven sharp every night and shower always started at six in the morning. keys must be placed on their rightful hook and shoes on the mat. notepad must be placed on his side of the bed in case a thought wakes him in the night and he can’t go to sleep until he writes it down. all of which were non negotiable. he was stubborn, yes...but you loved him.

above all else there was love. so much love it consumed him deep in the pits of his body, mind and soul. even if he couldn’t, or much rather wouldn’t explain just how much you’d bewitched him...there was love.

he had a funny way of showing this love through obstacles and hoops you’d taken forever to jump through early on in your odd relationship. first it was friendship, a strange friendship at that. mostly consisting of calling each other randomly to ask what the person was thinking at that moment, which led to conversations of witches, wizards, and ghouls - children's tales and memories from the past that sprung free of the net. regardless if he meant for it to happen or not, that friendship blossomed into a whirlpool of admittances he would have damned himself for in the past: 

“I wanted to see you” 

“I hope you're okay”

 “let me know when you get home safe” 

“can you read that part again? I like the sound of your voice”

 “I know you got that job, they’d be insane not to hire you” 

“come over, I miss you”

“do you miss me too?”

“I thought of you today”

friendship turned into fire kindling in the pits of him 

he wasn’t easy to trust others and you’d earned that trust fair and square. first through kindness, honesty, and a lot of self control. he wasn’t like every guy you’d been with in the past and you didn’t treat him like such. you’d been the only one to take your time and learn the inner workings of his mind and understand, not just engage or maintain his happiness. you’d expanded your craft in making him happy. giggling in bed at 3am, lovestruck, insanely, truly, madly, deeply happy. but demons don’t go away forever, and good behavior must be learned - especially with a life that has treated you unfairly. 

you understood how troubled ethans mind could be at times and you tried to be patient. patient enough that when he looked over at you, he trusted that you’d listen to him even if he was being irritating and crude. the darkness swirling in his eyes didn't scare you off, not like the others. you chose to stay time and time again. not that you were a push over by any means but one must understand how hard it became sometimes, to be patient in times where he blocked out every voice, every noise, every reasonable answer and refused to listen. refused your help and your advice, gave you silence as a reward for thirty minutes of trying to make him smile. it was frustrating to be ignored.

there was a lesson you'd known to be true: no matter how many stars you wish on, how many pennies you drop into the well, nothing is ever as perfect as it seems. 

you had told him more times than you could count on one hand: you weren’t his enemy. when it felt like the world was out to get him, like the sky was black and blue and he couldn’t see any light in the foreseeable future, you were there with a kind hand to lead him back. back to himself, reality, sanity. with the good came the bad and the constant back and forth it was taking it’s toll. if something didn’t change soon, he’d find that his light has left him in the clouds.

that’s how you found yourself sitting with your fingers fiddling in your lap, in the passenger seat of a car that you’d have to sell your soul to be able to afford, the hot air blowing through the vents and over your now trembling fingers, dress now more tight and uncomfortable than it seemed to be half an hour ago. you tried focusing on anything than the eery silence, save for the quiet music rolling through the speakers. it was easier than you’d thought to drown out the voices - you weren’t in the mindset to listen to someone else's problems. the many rings you wore now the main focal point for the agonizing hour drive back to your shared apartment.

it was a collection of pointless noise. pointless for the simple reason that the only sound you really wanted at the time was ethans voice. the low vibration that shot sparks straight to your stomach, the vibrato that sounded like home. anything to let you know he was okay, that he was working through his emotions instead of shutting them off.

“you okay?”

the last thing that had been said in over 30 minutes. you knew he was frustrated with himself by the white knuckled grip on the steering wheel, the way he drove at least ten over the speed limit, and the torturous strain of his taught jaw muscles, eyes shooting daggers at the road. he hadn’t given you an answer. 

if you’d known Alec would be there, you never would have gone. you never thought in a million years you’d be seeing him again unless forced by the universe to punish you. punish you both. how often did you see your boyfriends ex bestfriend who happened to co-exist as the ex of your very own bestfriend? a person you’d both chosen to cut ties with for a multitude of reasons. for the better. a lying manipulating cheater that had no place in your life or anyone that you loved. the connection between the two had been a shock at first, but you were quick to warn ethan about the deceitful nature of his “friend.” you wondered how you’d never met ethan before considering that link but were thankful he decided to shoot his shot in the café not a block from your old apartment.

alec was...sneaky. not only had he betrayed you and your bestfriend, shown his true colors, but he’d also betrayed ethan - his closest companion for over a decade. it wasn’t long before he dropped the both of them like they were a virus he was glad to be rid of. it broke your heart to see them both grieve the man they thought they knew. from that day forward, you made it your mission to try and lessen that pain for the two of them in whatever way you could. you became the anchor to a ship gone rogue.

you’d been just as shocked as ethan to see him at the event. an event he wouldn’t have even been at, had it not been for ethan and his good word.

alec was part of the holding company, Rissito’s Publishing Co golden boy. a new top boss only thanks to ethans referral and promise that he’d “kill it.”  HR ate it up. if only ethan had known beforehand the betrayal that would unleash after his hiring - he’d have stuck his foot in his mouth long before he told HR to give him a chance.

Alec was someone who gained respect without earning it first. someone who took advantage of a good friends kindness and used it for his own benefit, while leaving that same friend in the dust. he was a dispicable tyrant that had nothing better to do than ruin people to get ahead. no matter what cost.

he was someone who rarely showed his face at events that gave him no ego boost or feeling of supremacy.

you didn’t think your stomach would twist up at the the mere sight of his icy blonde air, unbelievable posture, and wicked grin. but it did. the few times you’d met him for your friend and for ethan...you’d felt the wind of something bad. “something wicked this way comes” right?

you’d been so stunned that you’d stopped in your tracks and let go of ethan’s hand altogether. the air stuck somewhere deep down in your chest, threatening to burst if you didn’t get as far away as you could. of course he would be here, he was invited to speak on behalf of the company. you quickly scolded yourself, reminded that this night wasn’t about you or alec no matter what past or resentment you held - it was about being there in support of ethan and his accomplishments.

alec had strolled up on stage draped with navy velvet curtains, right to a glass podium clear enough that you had to squint to see it just to “give his thanks and welcome” to the crowd of overdressed office workers. you wondered for a brief moment how strange he sounded when he spoke formally. like a robot coached to please. he’d used the same voice when he gaslighted your friend into thinking she was insane and needed help. really he was the lost boy. he spoke down to the group of people he now had authority over. people you knew he didn’t give two fucks about. he looked the same as you remembered - but if possible more sinister. he was the devil in the flesh and someone you knew could set ethan off in seconds. to your horror, your suspicions were true.

this was ethan’s night. at least to you and everyone that cared about him. a night he worked hard towards and quite frankly busted his ass to achieve. he deserved the silver platters, champagne, laughs with his co-workers, a pat on the back from his boss standing somewhere near the exit that you’d missed somehow on your way in. you knew it would be ruined if he let his anger get the best of him. you couldn’t stop his fuse igniting, and just when you thought you’d made it to the clear, that he’d been paying too much attention in trying to find snacks to satisfy his growling stomach - ethan froze beside you. statue still and glaring at alec. you were shocked alec didn’t drop dead from the look.

“i want to go home,” ethan had seethed immediately upon seeing Alec rise to the podium, grabbing your wrist tight with his fingers. too tight would describe his hold. much too tight. he all but ignored your grimace and look of confusion. 

“we just got here ethan, you haven’t even received the award,” you had tried to reason with him. he was acting brash. impulsive and irrational. he’d be called to the stage any moment, an award he obviously no longer cared about. when ethan was set on a mission, he was rarely persuaded.

“i don’t give a fuck,” he growled lowly, turning to look at you with laser hot eyes, “i don’t want to be anywhere near that prick and honestly i don’t know why you would either, y/n.”

it stung to hear him spit your name through his clenched teeth, but you tried your best to ignore it.

you heard him. you did. but you also knew he’d regret walking out the door more than he thought at the time. for years all he’s wanted was the recognition that he’d get in just a few minutes - the praise you knew he yearned for. but he was hell bent on getting the hell away from he who must not be named.

“tonight isn’t about him. it’s about your amazing accomplishments. something you’ve earned and worked hard for. don’t let him take this away from you!” of course your words fell on deaf ears. he wasn’t in any position to negotiate.

“stop. talking,” he barked, nails digging into your delicate skin, marching through the crowd of concerned on-lookers.

“ethan stop...you’re hurting me. please stop and talk to me, we can go to the bathroom or something,” you begged, trying not to blush with all eyes set on the two of you. taking a quick glance around to the raised eyebrows and turned up lips you shook your head in embarrassment. you were mortified to be a part of such a scene.

you were embarassed to be causing such a scene at a prestigious event for one of the biggest publishing companies in the country. it caused your stomach to turn at the thought of ever having to face the crowd of people again. your office visits would be few and far between after this.

“baby please,” you whimpered pathetically, trying yet again to be a voice of reason. you figured a pet name would get through to him. hopefully to calm the storm crashing in his head, “stop and look at me.”

“all he’s ever done is fucking ruin things, y/n. don’t you agree? he caused you and i both havoc for MONTHS and you want to stand and listen to this fucking shit?” he barked, turning to look at you with daggers for eyes, “i’ll be damned if i stare at his cocky smirk all night long.” you worried his jaw might break from the strength of his clenching, but chose to keep your knit picking you yourself he’d grumbled one last “fucking dickhead.” before you’d flinched at the aching of your wrist.

being dragged through a crowd of people wasn’t exactly the easiest task when you could barely keep up with his strides on a daily basis, let alone when he was sprinting around tables set for a feast, elegantly dressed men and women, staff that bustled about, and security that eyed you both like a hawk - thankful for your hasty exit.

“let me go!” you cried with one final feeble attempt to reach him through his blind rage from just the sight of the man that had hurt you both deeply. you wretched your hand like a girl gone mad, ignoring the gasps of people much too prudish to ever sympathize with your situation - all they knew what judgment and riches.

guilt crashing through his wall of xxx only allowing him a horrified glance back at your pained expression, yanking his hand back and away from you without a word. he held his arm to his chest as if it pained him to touch you in any way but his usual soft caress.

you watched warily when he turned toward the open set of double doors, this time without grabbing you. you had half a mind not to follow him. but you weighed your options heavily: stay for no reason and get judged and ridiculed by a crowd of people that thought less of you than dirt and even worse, have to talk to alec? or run after ethan and hope for the best on the ride home? hanging your head, you gathered the bottom of your burgundy dress in your hands shyly as to not trip and humiliate yourself further, walking briskly towards the parking lot. you knew he’d be more than ashamed with himself for acting the way he had, disgusted with his failure to perceiver through a problem.

he’s lost control. ethan hated losing control.

isnt that exactly what alec would want? he would want to see ethan crumble before his eyes and the many eyes of people he’s meant to be composed and professional around. create a name for himself: not a good one.

he would want to see him act out and lose his sanity with resentment and hatred in front of the well respected business men and women he worked with daily. alec was far too narcissistic to admit to his wrongdoings, but had a way of making his victims seem crazy. it was the toxicity you’d dealt with for the entirety of your miserable relationship. you felt ill at the fact that ethan had to experience it. had to deal with it for the sake of his job.

he did hate him, more than he’d admit. but really what lied beneath the surface is something he’s only admitted to you once before when he’d had one too many shots. more than anything, alec caused him a great deal of pain. ethan was hurt by his late friend. he was hurt by the reckless behavior and betrayal. he was hurt that alec tried to take his job out from under him instead of being satisfied with what he had. he was hurt that he treated you no greater than a peasant. he was hurt that he’d thrown away years of friendship just to get ahead. more than anything, ethan was hurt. but of course he was too stubborn to say that to you, to anyone, maybe even too scared to admit it to himself.

pulling into the parking garage was in no way an experience you wanted to relive again. the silence pained you. the silence pained him too, and you know it whether or not he’d say so. your tears, silently falling right next to the man you’d normally run to, went unnoticed. the yellow-orange of the lights bounced off the hood of the car to illuminate your devestated expression. you couldn’t believe how the night had played out and how easy it had been for alec to get the best of you both. he had won. again. the thought made your stomach churn.

he was out of line tonight. he’s not only made an ass of himself in front of the head management of his company, but he’d had total disregard for his actions towards you - physical and verbal. tonight...he was someone you didn’t want to be around.

your wrist was red from where he’d grabbed you at the party, reminding you that ethan did need a serious wake up call. you’d done as much as you could to soothe him and you won’t be subject to his wrath.

when he finally turned into a parking spot and turned the car off, he finally did speak. but it was in no way what you wanted to hear.

“they’ll hold the award. i would have been on the stage speaking for a couple seconds before they moved on.”

despite your efforts, you scoffed at how abtuse he really was to the situation.

“i asked if you were okay. but you acted very not okay and i don’t know how to help you or even if i want to,” you told him earnestly, eyes glued to your lap.

“what does that even mean?” ethan snapped, running a hand through his hair.

you watched as a grey expedition passed in the side mirror before you chose to respond as calmly as you could.

“it was so easy for you to lose control.”

“i don’t stay in situations that hinder me or the people i care about.”

“oh so now you care about me?”

“that’s not fair, y/n,” he sighed, shaking his head and looking out his respective window.

“and this is?” you hold up your reddened wrist, just far enough that he couldn’t ignore the gesture and turned to look at you briefly.

“it wasn’t personal, i just get so...”

“angry. you were angry and i understand why you would be. al...he showed up out of nowhere and you don’t do well with surprises. but he is a part of that company now and maybe we both should have prepared ourselves before we stepped foot out of the apartment tonight. i didn’t deserve that and neither did anyone else at the event tonight.”

he opened his mouth to speak, another excuse your sure but you carried on while blinking back hot tears.

“you were impulsive and gave no mind to the way you treated me and how it must have looked to your boss who watched us leave not even 30 minutes after we arrived. how do you think you’ll feel in the morning when this is all you’ve wanted and you let him ruin it? you always said you were done letting people get the best of you.”

“he has a way of pissing me off and he’s just- he doesn’t care okay?! he sat up there and told lies, y/n. he doesn’t give a fuck about the job or the people or even all of the good we do and dreams we help make a reality. i...i should have been the one up there talking...” ah...so jealousy it was.

“ethan,” you laugh, not with humor but disbelief, “you know he’s as fake as they come. he doesn’t care like you do. you will have your time to shine and you would have tonight if you hadn’t ran away like a coward.”

“i don’t want to talk about this anymore,” he grumbled, opening the latch on the door in an attempt to get out and leave a conversation where he had to talk about how he felt.

“you can run all you want but one day these feelings will catch up with you and you’ll crash. you’ve opened up quite a bit with me over the past few months and i’ve noticed that change and i’ve been proud. more than anything i’m proud...but this has to stop,” you grab him by his bicep, forcing him to look at the tears that fell onto your cheek, ignoring the stiff silence without the aid of the radio and air conditioning, “you have to start believing in yourself like i do. who gives a fuck if he’s a man with five seconds of fame he didn’t even earn? you bust your ass every single day and you know it.”

his eyes shoot across your kind face, landing on your eyes that scream he’s sorry, he messed up, he wants to talk but doesn’t know what to say.

“no one can make you feel inferior without your permission remember?” you nod, trying your best to give him a smile. you suppose it looked more like a grimace.

“right,” he huffs, sucking in a breath like he’d been suffocating the entire ride home, and maybe he had. he’s pressing the palms of his hands flat against his eyes in an attempt to cover up whatever emotion threatened to expose him, “fuck him dude.”

“fuck him is right,” you chuckled dryly, flopping back against the leather back of the seat.

in the silence you waited. you must have been sitting together in the orange glow of the lights for thirty more minutes, the time passing slow. you watched him pull himself together, breathing even in an attempt to build up the nerve to talk once again.

finally he’d looked at you with those eyes you fell in love with. the hazel brightness that was a gate to who he truly was. a soft man with a traumatic story that wasn’t his fault. he fought hard for everything he had and he’d built a good life for himself. he was a different, better, man than he’d been the day he paid for your coffee without question. he was unsure of himself and self-conscious to the point he didn’t know what his purpose was. he’d bounced around from girl to girl, drank away his sadness...but you. you. you must have been his saint. his angel placed in his path for a reason. he couldn’t have felt shittier when he looked over at your wet cheeks and hair falling out of it’s elegant up-do.

you’d flinched at the feeling of his fingers trailing over the splotchy fingerprints on your wrist. this time, you welcomed the touch, staring at his hand tracing the damaged he’d caused. you tried not to bunch your dress up in your other hand.

“i hurt you.”

you nod slightly, not having the energy to respond with anything else.

“i embarassed you.”

another nod.

“i won’t do it again,” he whispered, fully ashamed of himself, “and i’ll...i’m gonna talk to Jeff on Monday. apologize for running off. i’ve never been that person and i acted before i could think straight. you were right. i earned this night and i shouldn’t have let him get to me so quickly. seeing him shouldn’t break me down. it was cowardice and i made an ass of us both and i’m sorry. i’ll try my best to make it right.”

smiling gently, you find yourself leaning over the console to kiss him on the apple of his cheek. his warmth shot sparks through your chest and stomach, something youre sure you’ll never get used to.

“we’ll figure this out together. that’s what we do. side by side. we figure shit out when it seems hopeless and when we look like idiots. it’s called being a team you dummy. thank you for apologizing. but...you know what i’d love?”

the light tone of your voice had him smiling in no time, his head rolling on his neck to look at you, head resting back against the seat.

“if i chilled the fuck out?” he teased with a grin.

“yes...but not what i was gonna say,” you continue smiling, raising his hand to kiss over his knuckles, “i was going to say...i’d love for us to go upstairs so i can get out of this ridiculously tight dress.”

inching towards you he nods, eyes latched on your lips. you feel his breath fan over your skin, goosebumps rising on your arms and legs. he’s moving slowly, enough that if your lips didn’t meet soon you’d get impatient.

“i’m sure we can make that happen,” he mumbles, so low you almost don’t hear him.

you know from this point on, you can trust him on his word. you can’t think to hesitate when he tilts your chin up to connect your lips in a gentle kiss. the fire kindling in your stomach burns brighter when he nips at your bottom lip, asking for permission. you part your lips eagerly, deepening the kiss.

the growth you’ve seen just from this conversation had you hoping for a future where he trusts you completely and didn’t shy away when his own mind punished him into make rash decisions. he’d owned up to his mistake and meant everything he’d said. it would be the last time alec got the best of him. it would be the last time he’d run away from a battle he knew he had the strength to conquer, especially with you at his side.

you’d deal with the consequences of his actions tomorrow, but for now the two of you lived in your own world - far away from alec, the banquet, and any other outside force that threatened to tear you apart. he’d placed his trust in you, and you’d do anything in your power to protect it.

[wallwriterstuff]

A Stitch In Time || Alec and Jane and Reader||

Warnings: Mentions of poverty but mostly this is fluff

Word Count: 6429

Summary:  Alec and Jane are...going to school? As if that wasn’t bad enough, they’re constantly pestered by one irritating little human who clearly has no concept of self-preservation. Spending a winter in Forks was not how they had planned the end of their year to go, but winter traditions have changed since they were human, and they find the new ones aren’t all that bad.

It was well known that you didn’t anger the witch twins unless you wanted to die. First, there was Jane, whose temper was as quick to flare as though it were a match being struck. Alec was, in comparison, far calmer in outward appearance while he mentally plotted twenty steps ahead as to how best to exact his revenge for the displeasure caused to him. In both cases the victims of their anger met ruthless ends; it was merely dependent on which witch twin they had pissed off as to how swiftly the end came. With that in mind, one has to question what on Earth Felix and Demetri were thinking when they started sending the twins to school.

When Carlisle had entreated the Volturi to aid them in reclaiming their territory, Aro had agreed without a second thought to “aid an old friend”, as he had put it. None of the guard had any qualms about helping the coven (they had done them no wrong after all even if their way of life was rather strange) but they hadn’t expected it to be such an arduous process. The nomads who had taken over the Olympic Peninsula travelled in the usual small group but Demetri just couldn’t track them. He had caught the tenors yes, but the trail they left just…looped around. Somebody was clearly messing with his gift and enjoying watching him run about in circles, and it was taking a considerable toll on the tracker to try and figure out where the group was at any given time.

They had stayed at the Cullen’s house for the most part, Carlisle and Esme sending them the keys and alarm codes before they had arrived, and once the place was scoped out and found to be clean they had moved in post haste. The place was lavish, large, modern, and it allowed them to live in seclusion and comfort. It became their base of operations as they tried to track down these nomads. They were vicious and killing in droves, drawing attention to themselves and threatening the Cullen’s openly. Demetri was grateful for the encounter that Rosalie had had or else he would have had very little hope of finding a tenor to follow.

Then the Chief of Police had come past.

It was an unusual pattern, not at all a regular patrol route since it took him so far off of the main path, but fate had determined he was going to come their way and spot Alec and Jane just as they were headed back into the house after an afternoon walk. They had ran at a human pace, warning the others as they went, and by the time Police Chief Swan rang the doorbell they all had contacts in and was prepared to greet their unexpected guest. After a lot of explaining they had managed to convince him that they had rented the property while they worked abroad for a short period. Volturi Ltd. Was a legitimate company he could look up after all and the Secretaries were trained in how to handle inquiries into the company from the outside world. The only problem then was Alec and Jane. Despite being a thousand years of age, the twins still looked to be physically 14 at the most. Any self-respecting people would be sending their 14 year olds to school wouldn’t they?

Well, what else could they do at that point?

“Sister.” Alec placed a hand on her shoulder but couldn’t help the way his lips quirked upward in amusement. Her glare was fixated on a boy of small stature, with an ego twice his size. She wasn’t quite using her gift on him yet, but the boy had twitched a bit and was showing obvious signs of distress. Jane broke her gaze, turning to look at Alec with an expression that screamed of displeasure.

“I dislike him immensely.” She deadpanned.

“So I can see.” Alec murmured. They kept their voices so low nobody would hear them, and the teacher was so busy praising the know-it-all bully Jane had had her eye on he doubted she would see he was clearly not playing attention.

“I do not know how much more of this I can take. Ugh, look, Y/N is writing you another note, insufferable little-“

“Alec? Pssst.” your voice was so loud in comparison to theirs. He tried not to sigh, though he found your consistent need to bother them somewhat amusing when he was in better moods. Lucky for you, this moment was one of them. He let you whisper for him once more before he turned, raising an eyebrow at you. You stared ahead robotically, so obviously up to no good it made him wonder how anyone could ever think you innocent in that moment, and slid a piece of paper across the tabletop to him. Alec opened it up with a slight sigh.

Want to play tic-tac-toe with me?

He tilted his head slightly.

“What’s that?” he whispered. Your jaw dropped slightly and you hurriedly took the paper back from him, drawing out a 3x3 grid and drawing a circle on it.

“Noughts and crosses?” you murmured hopefully, wondering if he knew it by another name. Alec stared at the strange design with a furrowed brow.

“I’ve never heard of it.” He said finally, glancing back up towards the front of the room as the teacher asked for contributions to the discussion. You were absolutely screwed. You were still looking at the side of his head.

“I’m sure you know Y/N since you’re so keen to tell Alec all about it. Would you share with the rest of the class?” she asked, her eyebrows raised and expression screaming ‘I caught you’ despite her friendly tone. Alec stifled a laugh, enjoying your obvious discomfort as you stuttered for a response. Jane smothered a smile with her hand, a very human action she had picked up from you but didn’t realise. This was how they spent the majority of their days since they’d started school three weeks ago; lessons were boring and covered topics they already knew, and the children were cruel. Cruelty was nothing new to either of the twins but there had been some small part of them that had hoped that perhaps it would be different this time, that perhaps they were too different now they knew how to blend in better.

Of course, vampire teenagers in an otherwise human class was not going to be as discrete as they liked but there was just something about the twins sharp tongues and apathetic expressions that was not inviting enough for the other children to even pretend to be friendly – that and they were all teenagers in a small town who had grown up in their cliques since birth. Only you had bothered to welcome them with any sort of warm regard, and it was both tiresome and heat warming that at least one of the wretched little humans had tried. By the time they trudged into the cafeteria to sit with a tray of food they wouldn’t touch unless you forced them to, Jane was grinding her teeth in distaste. She was enjoying this even less than Alec was, though he put his twin’s rotten mood down to the need to hunt.

It was nearing December now and the winter months had brought with it even more rain that quickly turned to ice, with cold winds that stung human cheeks. Jane and Alec felt none of it of course but given the way your tray of food nearly toppled on top of the table with the violence of your shivering it was safe to say the humans did. The twins had guessed you weren’t from the richest family in the world, your clothes didn’t have the same labels as the other children did and were sometimes too big or too small, a little tattered or sewn back together with patches or mismatching threads in a shade that was similar, but not exact to the colour of the material.

“Here we go again.” Jane muttered for his ears only. You had sat with them at lunch every day for the past two weeks since you realised they often sat alone. Your wide Y/E/C eyes took them in, teeth chattering.

“How a-are you n-not cold?” you demanded, limbs trembling as you rubbed your hands together furiously in an effort to warm up. Your jacket looked thin, definitely not able to withstand the temperatures that had continued to drop throughout the day. The grey sky was threatening snow. Alec could smell what would be rain but had the fresher, sharper scent snow brought with it.

“Because it isn’t as cold as you think.” Alec answered. Not when your flesh is already frozen he tacked on mentally. You frowned.

“N-not cold? Are you insane?” you shook your head, ignoring your shivers for now to dig into your food. You always ate like you were starving to, and Alec sometimes wondered if you were getting enough to eat at home, but it wasn’t his place to ask. You had a hot chocolate today to, something you had clearly saved up to buy since he remembered you looking rather sad when you read the price beside it on the menu board the other week. It struck him that perhaps your kindness stemmed from your own perceived difference. You weren’t the same as the other children. You worked harder and were quite obviously poorer. Alec and Jane were the strange new kids. In some ways, your trio was perfectly compatible when it came to categorical ostracization.

“Are you?” Jane’s answer was curt but you tilted your head like you were genuinely considering the question.

“My brother says I am.” You shrugged, shovelling another forkful of mac and cheese into your mouth. If it tasted as bad as it looked, Alec pitied you greatly. Jane just blinked, looking slightly surprised.

“You have a brother?” she questioned. You hummed around a mouthful of food.

“He’s older than me, he g-goes to high school.” Your shivering had lessened a little, the food warming you up even if it did little else. The usual silence fell over you all then. You tended to fill the silence when you were done eating, usually with questions about why they weren’t eating and if they were sick, or simply trying to coax more information about where they’d come from out of them. Today the routine was interrupted by the snow Alec had predicted.  

“It’s here! It’s here! The first snowfall!” a young girl yelled, pointing back outside. A cacophony of noise made Alec and Jane cringe, their sensitive ears protesting against the sounds of scraping chairs and shrieking children, a thousand little feet thudding into the tile to reach the snow first as zippers on jackets whizzed up towards chins. Your eyes were sparkling, obvious delight on your face as you worked twice as hard to finish off the last of your mac and cheese. Alec’s eyebrows rose as you turned to your dessert next, the jello cup being ripped open.

“If you eat too fast you’ll make yourself sick.” Alec reminded you. You gulped, almost choking on your jello.

“I’s ‘no’.” your voice came out all garbled but Alec understood the general premise of it, his disapproval at your decision to go outside with the others obvious on his face.

“You were just complaining you were cold.” Jane huffed. You swallowed.

“But it’s the first snow! Come on! Come on you have to come! Please please please please please please please please-“

“My god we’ll follow you!” Jane snapped. You ignored her tone completely and jumped to your feet, whizzing to collect your things and clean up your tray. Alec watched you go with a shake of his head. Humans were such stupid little creatures. He knew you’d be freezing the moment you set foot outside but that didn’t deter you in the slightest. Neither, apparently, did their cold skin. With your warm hands enveloping theirs you dragged the twins outside into the snow. It was something they had seen before of course, but Alec and Jane had the added advantage of having enhanced eyesight. They could see every little snowflake as it fell, all its unique edges and shapes. Your arms flew outward as you span around, giggling all the while as you reached out and tried to catch a snowflake in your palm. Alec tilted his head as he watched you, Jane sighing quietly beside him.

“They seem so happy...they don’t even see the full wonder of the phenomena.” he mused. Jane was watching you with critical eyes, but Alec could see the slightest softening of her expression and guessed she was as fascinated with your reaction as he was. Your hands were far too warm too catch anything of course, the snowflakes melting upon contact with your skin, but your smile never once dropped and you kept trying again and again, your enthusiasm undeterred.

“They’re already shivering, and yet they carry on,” Jane observed, “Their determination is admirable though.” Alec chuckled.

“You almost sound fond.” He teased. She scoffed, shooting him a wry look from the corner of her eye.

“I’m about as fond of any of them as I am of those idiots picking us up later.” She sniffed. Alec had to laugh at that, even as you came running up to them rabbiting about snowmen and snow angels. You were trembling head to foot. With a small sigh, he shrugged out of his jacket and held it towards you. Your eyes widened.

“But y-you’ll g-g-get cold.” You said, teeth gnashing together noisily.

“You are already frozen. Just swap my jacket with yours.” He huffed.

“But-“

“Y/N.” his voice was curt, no nonsense, the same sort of tone he imagined his mother had once used on him when he was smaller. You obediently took his jacket from him and even though it wasn’t saturated with any sort of human warmth, the wool was thick and you snuggled down into it like it was a lifeline. Your own threadbare denim looked slightly ridiculous on him, too small and the fit all wrong, but Alec didn’t complain once. He held his hand out, knowing it would be cold enough for what he wanted to do, and in one go caught a snowflake he let you inspect to your heart’s desire.

“Softie.” Jane grumbled under her breath. He ignored her. What was the point of making themselves miserable at school? If they had to be here then they should try to make the best of it right? Besides, when you looked at him like that…how could he say no? You invoked some of his oldest, foggiest memories of a wide-eyed Jane staring up at him with awe and admiration, it felt like he was getting a second chance to be the big brother he should have been in that cold, snowy moment.

“Oh Alec! Isn’t it so pretty!” you cried. You can’t even see it he thought incredulously, though he still nodded in agreement. He really hadn’t been expecting you to hug him and he wasn’t quite sure what to do in reply either. Did he hug you back? His arms hesitated, not quite winding around you. His hands were awkwardly left bent outwards as if too touch you would be lethal. His awkward display only made Jane snort, smothering her laughter in her jacket as you bounced back from him and demanded that they all go the Jungle Gym. The bars would surely freeze your fingers and gloves were so slippery not many people were on them today, and those that were quickly disappeared when they saw Alec and Jane coming anyhow.

This was the day Alec blamed for your absence the following week.

You hadn’t bounced in like you usually did, hanging your jacket on the peg beside Jane’s, nor had you wished the teacher good morning when she called your name for the roll call. Truth be told, both twins were rather worried about you when you didn’t show up by the end of first period either, so much so, Alec decided to ask about you. Miss Destiel was a fairly nice woman, strict perhaps but she always found time for her students, so she greeted the two strange newcomers to her class with the same warm smile she gave everyone. Alec didn’t have to be Edward Cullen to know she was probably thinking of several different ways to get them out of her way as quickly as possible despite her friendly demeanour.  

“We want to know if you know where Y/N is.” Jane said, cutting straight to the point. She tilted her head.

“I see. You three are good friends, aren’t you? I see you together at recess a lot. You needn’t worry too much. Her mother called in to tell us she was sick, a little bit of a flu bug they think. She should be back by the end of the week.” Miss Destiel promised them. Alec let his disgust show on his face. A flu bug? Why did humans have to be so weak! It was the cold wasn’t it? It had seeped into your bones and tried to leech the life out of you. Dammit! If only you’d had a better jacket! Or maybe some gloves! Maybe you shouldn’t have been stupid enough to play outside in the snow with them…

You didn’t show up for another four days, and when you did return you drove them half mad with your sniffling and nose blowing and coughing. The other children were giving you dirty looks to, calling you germy and demanding you stay away from them in case you passed on your germs. Alec and Jane were not popular and neither were you, but you did have a few other friends beside them, even those children tried to stay away till you were better, and only one of them was apologetic about it. You were obviously disheartened by the whole affair and prodded at your food with a miserable expression.

“Cheer up, you don’t need to cry in that pie, it smells salty enough already.” Jane’s attempt at comfort was half-hearted at best but Alec was amazed she had even tried at all. You gave her a weak smile.

“I’m not feeling all that hungry.” You mumbled.

“But you always eat,” Alec frowned, “Even when they bring out that awful soggy pizza.”

“S’just the flu.” You sighed.

“Y/N you have to eat.” Alec reprimanded. He really wasn’t sure if you’d make it through the day without a little something in your system and was pleased when you forced down another few bites for him. You glanced at the clock through droopy, watery eyes. You really weren’t ready to come back to school today and it was obvious to both of them.

“I need to go get my medicine from the nurse. I’ll see you in class.” You sniffed, a tickle you tried to clear turning into a coughing spree as you walked away.

“We need to do something.” Jane scowled at her tray.

“We cannot make her better, sister.” Alec pointed out. Jane stared him down for a long moment, and then a smile twitched up her lips.

“Maybe not, but we can stop her getting sick again. Come on, help me.” She ordered. Alec raised his eyebrows but followed her lead, dumping his tray and heading back towards the classroom with her. He stood guard, hearing paper shuffling inside the room as Jane put whatever plan she had into action. He didn’t question it until Friday afternoon rolled around and Miss Destiel decided to read out the names of the secret Santa pairings one more time, at Jane’s request. Next Thursday was the last day of term before the Christmas break started and there would be secret Santa and some choosing time in the afternoon that neither twin was looking forward to.

“Alec and Y/N…huh? Debbie didn’t you have Y/N last time we read out the names?” Miss Destiel looked to the red headed girl for answers, but she just shrugged, uncertain. Alec smiled slightly.

“You switched the papers.” He murmured. Jane hummed, her face the picture of angelic.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about dear brother, but I do have an ideas as to what you could get Y/N if you’re interested.” She was hardly done with her plan just yet though. Demetri wasn’t particularly surprised when the twins came marching towards him; they were often eager to get out of school, but the surprise lay in their demeanours. Usually he could count on a very grumpy Jane and a clearly exasperated Alec, but today they both looked determined. Jane brushed past him with all the regal stature of a woman who knew her self-worth, and Demetri raised an eyebrow slightly as he turned to face Alec.

“We have plans to attend to Demetri. We’re still headed to Port Angeles tonight are we not?” he questioned. Demetri nodded.

“We are, why?”

“We’re going to go earlier than planned. We have secret Santa obligations to fulfil.” He explained, ducking into the car. Demetri looked even more confused at that, but he didn’t dare question either twin as he headed for the driver’s side door. Wasn’t Santa always secret? Had he misunderstood human traditions? He didn’t know and neither Alec nor Jane cared enough to tell him. They were hyper focused now on their plan, a plan they hoped would ensure the health and happiness of the one human being they actually (though they remained very reluctant to admit it) liked. Secrecy was the very nature of their work and yet Alec’s tongue itched whenever he saw you, the secret on the tip of his tongue desperately trying to leap off into the air between you both. Jane struggled too, unable to hide her growing impatience as the week dragged on and your shivers grew worse, your sniffly nose a new, permanent feature on your face.

“Good tidying everyone. Nicky, tell me one thing you’ve learned today?” Miss Destiel snapped Alec out of his daydream and he sat up straighter, wanting to give the appearance of paying attention. Nicky was a smallish boy who had yet to have any sort of growth spurt apparently, all long gangly limbs and braces.

“Erm…After World War 2, they split up Germany and Berlin?” he sounded more like he was guessing than anything else and the twins fought the urge to scoff. How ignorant these little humans were.

“Yes they did! You can go and get your secret Santa present. Can you expand on Nicky’s point somehow Bridget?” Miss Destiel turned to the opposite side of the room now and Alec almost groaned when he realised what she was doing. One by one, they were left to answer questions in order to exit the room, and the process was excruciatingly slow given how stupid the small beings were. By the time the whole affair was over and everyone had a present in front of them, Alec’s fingers were itching at the colourful paper he’d wrapped your present in. Jane had watched multiple youtube videos to get the bow on top just right.

“Miss Destiel can we please give our presents out!” Debbie whined.

“Yeah please?”

“Please!”

“Please!”

“Let us give our presents Miss!”

She held up her hands, waiting for silence, and not until you could have heard a pin drop did she nod and motion for them to get up out of their seats.

You didn’t move.

Alec watched you with a small frown as Jane moved away to find Nicky in the sea of humans. She all but threw the small package at his chest, briefly thanking him in a curt and ice cold voice for the present he gave her in return before she gave him a nod, and the pair drifted with all the grace their vampirism allowed towards you. You only seemed to grow smaller in your seat, some wrinkled looking tissue paper wrapped around a lumpy looking package on your desk in front of you.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.” Alec held out the parcel in his hand. It looked much neater in comparison, with shiny gold paper and a shimmering, expertly tied black bow. You swallowed, your fists clenching on top of the tabletop as you took a breath and gathered the courage to face him. Your eyes widened slightly.

“It looks so…fancy…” you fretted. Alec frowned, tilting his head.

“It’s just a present.” Alec said. You bit your lip, taking it when he shook it impatiently before you and carefully setting it on your desk like it was made of precious gold. He folded his arms, standing and watching expectantly as your shaky fingers lifted to try and untie the bow. Jane watched in surprise as you reverently unfurled the ribbon from the paper, making sure it didn’t crumple. You were equally as careful with the paper, a sharp exhale escaping you when you pulled it away to reveal the present within.

Your fingers brushed the thick, woolen fabric, shaky and unsure as you carefully unfolded the clothing and stood up to hold it before you. Your wide eyes looked over the shiny black buttons on the coat, your eyes drifting to the hallway where your own, threadbare denim hung still. You hadn’t taken off the hoodie you wore underneath all day in an effort to keep away the chill, but with your new coat you definitely wouldn’t need to wear triple layers just to stay warm anymore. Tears welled in your eyes.

“Is it not to your liking?” Jane asked confusedly.

“I thought you would want to be warmer given the cold weather.” Alec added. Had they got it wrong? Had your denim maybe got sentimental value they’d accidentally besmirched by giving you a new coat? They just wanted you to be warm! They didn’t like seeing you sick and shivering…

“This is expensive. You weren’t supposed to buy expensive things!” You fretted, but your fingers had curled into the fabric like you didn’t want to let go. Alec tilted his head.

“Y/N, this was hardly-“

“I can’t give you mine if you give me this! It looks so stupid and – and – it’s not – it’s not-“

“Y/N,” Alec gripped your shoulders with a troubled frown, “Our parents have more money than they know what to do with, spending a little of it to keep your warm is what we wanted to do for Christmas and we didn’t expect anything in return for it.” He said firmly. You sniffled, looking absolutely overwhelmed at the gesture. Neither twin could fully understand why. Sure, they had guessed you didn’t come from a well-off family but this reaction seemed extreme…then again, they couldn’t really remember what it was like to not have things. They had grown up farming, self-sufficiency meaning anything they didn’t have they grew or harvested to acquire it. Once they were turned, they had access to the Volturi’s vast treasury - money really had no meaning to them anymore.

Your fingers twitched for the lumpy package on the desk and Alec gave you an encouraging nod.

“I…they’re not…I couldn’t buy anything but, I wanted you to be warm to…so…so…” you stumbled over your words, your apparent shyness taking over. Alec and Jane had never known you to be lost for words. You were always chattering away at them, even when they were less than responsive. Jane’s eyebrows rose as you pulled out a second lumpy looking package with her name on, and the twins exchanged a glance as they felt the squishy, thick material through the thin paper. You had ducked your head, cheeks flushed with embarrassment as they pulled away the paper as carefully as they could. If you had been so intent on keeping theirs intact to recycle they would show you the same courtesy.

Alec blinked, and not just because the contacts were irritating his eyes. The thick and squishy material beneath his fingertips turned out to be black and blue, two colours he wore often as part of his charade since he couldn’t wear his guard uniform to school. The stripes of chunky knitting unfolded as he held them out into a long strip, the wool a little scratchy but soft, dense, designed to hold heat. Jane’s own red and black piece tumbled out of the paper towards the floor. They had seen them before of course, but with the slightly uneven width in places and a few missing stitches here and there, these were clearly homemade and not the fancy store bought ones they knew of.

You’d knitted them each a scarf.

He didn’t need it, he didn’t get cold, but Alec carefully wrapped the woolly scarf around his throat anyway. It warmed him in ways he couldn’t explain, his expression softening as he stroked the soft but scratchy material that dangled against his chest. Jane followed his lead, admiring the stitching with awe.

“You made these for us?” she asked. You nodded sheepishly.

“I know they’re not very good but-“

“They’re perfect.” Alec interrupted. Your fingers were still clamped around your new coat and Alec’s eyes rolled, taking it from you to force you into it. Your fingers trailed over the fabric, the buttons, a soft smile lighting up your face.

“Can I really keep it?” you asked quietly.

“Only if we can keep these.” Jane replied. You nodded, more enthusiastic now. Your Y/E/C eyes sparkled as you snuggled down in your new coat. Already Alec could see the colour returning slowly to your cheeks as your temperature rose, and he and Jane shared a nod of approval at the sight – it was a job well done. Alec and jane cared for very few people, none of them human until you came along, actually disappointed when they caught the nomads over Christmas and realised they couldn’t return to school to say goodbye to you properly.  

You’d pressed the call button hours ago.

When the tightness in your chest had began Tuesday night you were sure it was going to pass. It had rapidly gotten worse however, so much so your daughter had been forced to call an ambulance out to you. The hospital was doing all they could but the place was miserable. Nobody saw you unless it was to do your observations and the food tasted awful. Not that you really had an appetite of course given how weak you felt.

It had been three very long days.

“If you don’t eat, you’ll make yourself sick.” The voice seemed so familiar but you couldn’t quite place it. With a gentle sigh, you turned your head away from the window you were lucky enough to be near and found a young boy watching you, his eyes gentle and sad. Beside him stood an petite blonde girl, both of them with the deepest brown eyes and palest skin you had ever seen. You frowned slightly, the faintest itch in your brain telling you that somehow you knew these children.

“That’s very true young man,” You nodded finally, “Are you visiting someone? I think you have the wrong room.” He nodded slowly.

“We are visiting a friend, I don’t think she knows we’re here.” He said, head tilting. The small girl beside him sighed. You hummed.

“Well you can ask at the desk, they know all the rooms.” You coughed slightly, a bony, age spotted hand reaching for your water. Your mouth felt rather dry, or maybe the room was just warm. You didn’t feel warm though.

“Has nobody come to visit you?” the girl wondered, helping bring the water to your lips. Her touch was gentle against your own but her hands were freezing cold. You shivered involuntarily, sipping at your water in an effort to soothe your throat.

“My daughter and grandkids came yesterday, you don’t have to – to worry about me.” You frowned slightly as you swallowed again. You had found breath a little hard to come by recently and the oxygen running up through your nostrils was hardly any use now. The boy was gentle as he pulled your blanket up around your chest.

“I’m glad, you haven’t been alone. You won’t be now, either.” He promised. Your frown deepened. Why was the room so cold all over a sudden? Why did the lights seem dimmer? You chest rattled slightly as you tried to take in air, the oxygen making you choke a little. The small blonde girl stepped up, pulling a red and black scarf that looked like it had been worn often, the threads worn down. Once it was carefully looped around your throat she stepped back, her cold hand settling in yours while the young boy took the other one. The air was stuffier still, even the breeze from the slightly open window wasn’t helping now, and everything suddenly became so clear. It was like you had previously been sitting surrounded by static.

“Alec…Jane…”your breathed, eyes watering. They looked exactly the same, not a day older than the day they had left. You had been so excited to see them in January when school was finally in session again but they hadn’t been there, they’d moved away again.

“Hello, Y/N. It’s been a long time, old friend.” Alec smiled softly, though his expression remained saddened. Your eyes watered.

“It’s been 70 years.” You rasped.

“78 years, 5 months and 13 days, if you want to be precise.” Jane spoke up. Her voice and her face was as apathetic as you remembered it to be. It was her scarf, she had given you her scarf. 78 years and she still had it. Alec pulled a stack of letters from his pocket, and you recognised the spidery handwriting easily in your bizarre state of clarity. All the letters you had written to Volturi Ltd in the hopesof keeping in contact with your friends. It was Jane who gently wiped away the few tears that spilt down sallow, wrinkled cheeks. You were so old, but they were wondrously young, vibrant in their youth. You wanted to know how, but you sensed somehow you didn’t have the time for the explanations you wanted.

“There were a few important answers we felt we should give you,” Alec said, sitting beside you and opening the first letter, “Firstly, we are well, we are happy and we did miss you to. We miss very few people, it surprised our masters when we requested to come and visit you.” You croaked a laugh. It was hardly surprising from what you remembered of the twins; even your friendship with them was strained at points, but they were hardly palatable to most in your class. Alec continued to scroll through the letters, and you suspected he knew with every answer he and Jane gave you that you were running short on air and time with every word he spoke.

When your lungs were really starting to battle for air you couldn’t quite stop the tears from coming. You wanted more time. You wanted more time with your old friends to try to understand why they left, why they were still so long. Maybe they weren’t even real, but the way their hands felt in yours was so realistic you doubted you could imagine it.

“I…d-don’t want…to go.” You struggled to get the words out, your heart trying to hard and your lungs ready to give up. Even if your mind was desperately pleading with it to hold on your body was clearly ready.

“Sometimes, it is simply our time, little human.” Alec said softly.

“Please don’t think less of us for not calling a nurse or a doctor. We think it’s kinder this way. You’re ready, even if you don’t think you are.” Jane promised, giving your hand the lightest squeeze.

“My g-grandaughters…she’s graduating i-in March…”you whispered. Alec soothingly ran his thumb over the back of your hand.

“She will keep you with her I’m sure…you’re quite difficult to forget, you know,” He smiled gently at you.

“It’s time to sleep now, Y/N.” Jane said. There was a darkness creeping in at the edges of your vision as your heart finally gave way in your chest, and Alec watched as you desperately fought for one last breath, his grip on your hand tightening ever so slightly while the light in your eyes died. Your heart monitor was screaming, the noise was going to attract someone very quickly they were sure, but they had finally gotten the goodbye they had been deprived of all those years ago.

“Will you take your scarf back with you sister?” Alec asked as they stood up and quickly cleaned away the letters and any other trace they had ever been there. Jane paused briefly, staring back at your frail body. You were much older now, still as skinny as they remembered, but any colour was stripped from your hair and replaced with grey. She very gently closed your vacant eyes, unable to keep looking at the empty Y/E/C, and shook her head.

“No, she’s still cold.” She frowned. Alec placed a hand on her shoulder briefly, his ears picking up the sound of feet thudding on the tile outside.

“We need to leave.” He said. Jane nodded her head.

“Lets.”

They disappeared as quickly as they came, Demetri waiting for them beside a Sedan with tinted windows. His eyebrows rose ever so slightly as they approached but neither twin said anything, so he didn’t either. He had felt the familiar tenor fade as you passed, he knew what they had come to do now, understood it even. Every winter Alec and Jane had worn those threadbare scarves, even when the wool had faded and it was clearly past the prime of its life. You had made a lasting impression on the witch twins, a friend they had made without any interfering influence from the masters or Chelsea or any other outside force. Alec stared at the hospital getting smaller in the rear view mirror. They wouldn’t go to your funeral, they had said their goodbyes to you today, and until the last thread unravelled, he would always have his scarf to remember you by. You had been stitched into the very fabric of whatever was left of his soul, where you would always be, to keep him warm when his heart threatened to turn cold once more.  

[seraphdreams]

you wanted levi thirsts soo— 🤷🏻‍♀️ i dont rly write but i am also having intense levi brainrot so im so sorry if this is bad lmao

when he lived underground you were always hooking up, mostly after he’d done some form of criminal activity with farlan and isabel. he just couldn’t ignore how the adrenaline thrill heightened everything, how his heart pounded and his breaths became uneven. it was almost intoxicating. he’d turn up at your house day or night, no matter the time. even if he was covered in blood. levi just craved the way your cunt milked him perfectly, how you gasped and moaned just from the sensation of his fingers ghosting over your slit and up to your clit. he could just get hard thinking about the state he eventually got you in every time — a sweaty, shaking, moaning and pleading mess. how your eyes leaked a single tear when he stretched you out, how you stumbled upon every breath and word that left your lips when he fucked himself into you, how there was always a string of saliva when your mouth left his cock that eventually joined the pool of saliva that sat at the base of his cock, how sloppy, how messy and needy your kisses were. fucking you was always so messy and needy, but ironicaly that’s what levi loved so much about it. it drove him crazy in all the right ways.

there would be hurried and firm knocks on your door, from the rhythm it created you didn’t even have to open the door to know who it was. when you open the door, you aren’t even able to get a word in before levi’s lips and hands are all over you. if you weren’t in, then he’d find you. hell, there’s even been times where he’s found you in the streets going about your daily life. levi didn’t care, though. he ended up dragging you into an alleyway to fuck you senseless.

“shh,” he whispered between breathy moans, lips grazing on the spot of skin behind your ear. “you don’t want them to hear, do you?“ levi had you stood in the alleyway, leaning over with your hands and the side of your face pressed against the wall, pressing just that tiny bit harder with every thrust he made. it was as if levi wanted to get caught, as the tips of his fingers sunk deeper into the skin on your hips and he thrusted himself harder and deeper into your cunt. the way he fucked you left you with weak legs and aching hamstrings, but it was worth it just to hear that—

“oh, shit-“ levi had your back against his chest at this point, and his shounders pressed against the wall. his lower body was tilted away from the wall, quickly swinging his hips back and forth, and he had one hand around your throat, the other attending to your clit, rubbing in circular motions with his index and middle finger. you had held back your orgasm, as he had ordered you to, and it were as if you were teetering on a tightrope with a feather in one hand and a sack of flour in the other. “you’re such a fucking— shit. such a good girl, aren’t you? you’re so good for me.” his lips and teeth danced down your neck, hot breath setting fire to the spots he had bit at.

“y-yes, sir. all for you.” you always knew exactly what to say to drive levi over the edge, as he did with you. every thrust he made was harder than the last, the sound of his balls slapping against your clit and his hips slapping against your ass were almost getting to an alarming volume, but none of you cared. in fact, it just heightened the feel of every thrust, knowing that at any time someone could catch you.

“fuck. so good. y’gonna cum with me, princess?” levi’s voice matched his breathy moans, chest heaving against your back. you could barely stutter out a ‘yes’ before your walls fluttered around levi’s cock, knees nearly giving in as your orgasm took over your whole body. you didn’t even realise how loud your moans got until levi’s hand moved down from your neck and clasped over your mouth, pulling you closer as he continues to fuck himself into you and rub yor clit with his free hand.

“so fucking good.” it was only a few seconds into your orgasm that levi reached his, burying himself deep inside you and coating your walls with his seed, pressing his sweaty forehead against the back of your neck and slowing the pace of his thrusts.

there was something about the way his cum slowly dripped from your hole and onto the cobblestone floor that drove levi insane. he had to stop himself from fucking you again right there, but knew it would be best if the two of you went back to your place.

“let’s go.”

OMFGGGGGGGG??????!!!?!!!?!!!?!! AND YOU DONT WRITE??? YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD THIS IS LITERALLY AMAZING

[angelicjadamv]

The story so far

One month after graduating high school in 2015 I was finally able to move away from my family. I was 18 and moved to California for college. Fortunately one of the scholarships I earned was accompanied by a summer program that started in the middle of the summer before fall semester. Shortly after settling in a safe, stable environment for the first time in my life I started to get better. A lot better at first. Then life happened, as it does, and 18 years of repressed trauma and abuse broke me. My nervous breakdown ruined my fall semester, I couldn't go to classes or take exams or function as a student anymore. Until this point, being an exceptional student was all I had and basically how I survived. My safe and stable environment now was dependant on maintaining a certain GPA, among other requirements I could no longer meet. I failed one of my main courses because I had a 0 on 2 exams, including the final. When I went home I was put on antipsychotics. Returning to campus for the 2016 spring semester, I attempted to seek more therapy. I wasn't successful in finding a good therapist (for me, therapy is a personal thing. Just because someone isn't a good therapist for me doesn't necessarily mean they are a bad therapist). I did continue to see my 2 psychiatrists (emergency and regular) often as they attempted to adjust my medication to find something that work. My agoraphobia worsened, I stopped sleeping, I could barely eat, I was manic one moment and dissociative the next, SH and suicidal ideation worsened. I was a burden to my friends and loved ones. I made it through this because I had a beautiful support system that I will forever be grateful for, but I ended up taking a leave of absence academically for my second semester, earning no credits and putting my scholarships at further jeopardy. I was allowed to stay on campus because it was clear I was dangerously unstable with no safe environment to return to and because I had incredible advocates looking out for me. I had realized that I wasn't going to get better in time to salvage my academic career and my life, and was mostly clueless as to how I would survive. I had had an internship in my field since I started college, but I earned basically no money. STEM internships aren't really made to be livable for undergrads, so I had mostly been working for experience in a field I would no longer be able to progress in. Bummer. My physical health had taken a huge dive for all of 2016. I basically always knew I was chronically ill, but I had been abused and gaslit my entire life to believe and act like I was fine, I was just a weak baby, I didn't know what real pain or suffering was, seizures were to be ignored, no I didn't have migraines or pinched nerves (um hello SCOLIOSIS), etc etc. And 2016 was the year my body finally started to break, so I knew "regular" jobs weren't going to be a viable option for me, at least not for long.

And thus I became a survival SW. I stayed in college for a final semester, because I didn't want to miss my friends, I loved my campus and didn't know where else to live, I still needed a lot of campus resources. I also kept my internship as long as I could, because I knew I would miss it for the rest of my life. I didn't really go to classes, again, because as much as a desperately wanted to and as much as my advisors moved heaven and earth to try to make it work for me, I couldn't handle it. I was finally able to find 2 great therapists who I started seeing regularly who actually knew how to diagnose and treat me, one at school and one outside. This is also when I met Daddy (Jace) online. After talking for what is probably a stupidly short time, we fell in love and started dating. This is honestly my first real relationship and time actually catching genuine feelings for someone, something that I hadn't thought I was capable of. Despite being happier than I had ever been in so many ways, my mental and physical health was still steadily declining. My migraines and pain were getting worse, I hadn't been able to eat normally in months and relied entirely on medication to eat or sleep at all. Many people recommended mmj at this point in my life, but I was afraid of how it would interact with my other meds. I only smoked occasionally at parties at this point (because no way was I spending my super duper limited money on weed). I wonder if medicating with something that actually worked well for me, like weed, would have allowed me to finish college. Oh well I guess. Because of my inability to attend classes, I had to take another leave for the fall semester 2016. I worked at a strip club briefly, but my health couldn't handle it for long.

I didn't want to go home for the first winter break in 2015, but campus closed and I had nowhere else to go. It was turbulent. When summer 2016 came, I still didn't go home despite having no place to stay. Until a month or so later, it was revealed to me a relative had terminal cancer. I had to go home again. It was worse than turbulent. When winter 2016 came, my relative was in much worse condition. They only had a few months left, and this was probably my last chance to say goodbye. This visit was by far the most traumatic, and more because of my parents than watching a loved one die. At least Jace was able to come meet me for the first time in person. He also got to meet my relative before they passed 🖤

Freshly fucked up by family, I retuned to California at the beginning of 2017. I was mostly taking a break from SW because of my health and was working vanilla jobs as I could (so not much). I had a pretty decent job that I was really good at and had been promoted, but then my relative passed. I started losing consciousness again ( I had many seizures and fainting spells in my childhood and during high school) and had to quit my job. the funeral was in spring 2017, I flew to Jersey to be with Daddy for a few days and then he drove me several states over for the memorial. That was the last time I saw my family. I wanted to transition to online/content creating, but I had no tech knowledge or equipment (even my phone was a potato). In high school I wasn't allowed to have a smartphone, most social media other than what was heavily monitored (and still had 0 experience with platforms sw is popular on besides Tumblr I guess), I didn't really know much about cameras. Way too sheltered and broken to feel like I could start anything. I was now seeing my outside, or I guess regular and only, therapist twice a week and doing treatments that while working for me were insanely (literally) hard. I had been able to get an apartment with roommates at a super discount in return for taking care of their crazy dog, which was a win win for me (he was a good boi just crazy from a bad past and had the worst separation anxiety). The agreement was that I would live with them until the lease was up in September, and then we would reevaluate the situation. Then they both got promoted at their mega corporation jobs. And after their wedding found a really gorgeous apartment in a much fancier part of the city, and paid to break our lease early in June leaving me homeless. I had been fired from my last 2 jobs (probably for being disabled because California is at will employment but who knows I might have been fired from the nanny job because the husband wanted to fuck me). I had no money or anywhere to go. All of my friends were almost as broke as me, so while I had offers to couchsurf at a few of their places they had other roommates who would have been pissed and in a few months they would be going back to school anyways. Daddy and I had been trying to save up to move in together for months, but he was going to move to California. We didn't have any money for that, so instead he asked me to move in with him in New Jersey. Leaving meant I lost my health insurance and my therapist. It was supposed to be much more temporary and we were supposed to move back to California much sooner than we were able to. I try not to be mad at those roommates because being angry doesn't change anything, but it really sucked.

Moving in with Daddy meant we could start our blog! And I was super happy at first, the happiest I could ever remember. But the years had been too hard and my health started to get worse than ever before. Without treatment and so traumatized, my brain and body were constantly at war. I would wake with splitting migraines, throwing up, my chronic pain became completely unmanageable. I started to need weed all the time because it was the only thing that stopped my cyclical vomiting episodes and kept me out of the hospital. My antipsychotics and other meds had been high-key fucking me up (probably shouldn't have been on them in the first place, thank you doctor who also ignored my seizures even when I had one in front of you) and were almost impossible to come off of because the withdrawals. (Seriously, kicking xanax was easier for me than my antipsychotics.) I'm not anti medication or anything, I just know the ones I was on were not good for me anymore. I'd actually like to be on something again, I just need a doctor who actually understands PTSD and DID.

My health continued to be shit for most of 2018, with several ER visits for severe dehydration from vomiting for days on end. We started to make videos and do snapchat and online sessions to be able to make ends meet. Despite being in the worst situation and thus everything being a trizillion times harder, we really loved (and still love 😇) doing SW and creating content. Our fans and clients have been there in some of our darkest moments, just being lovely or pulling through for us when we needed it most. During 2018 and 2019 I became actively suicidal for the first time since I was 13. I struggled with self harm again. I have gotten worse than I ever thought possible. But I wouldn't have made it at all if it wasn't for SW, this community and our supporters.

At the beginning of 2020 we were finally able to move back to California. Obviously, the pandemic severely disrupted many of our plans, especially regarding my recovery. Despite things being delayed or shifted, we are in a much better place currently. I have what I need to get better and I can build a support system again. I will get better.

Talking about things is hard for me. Being open and honest is hard for me. For 18 years I was trained and abused to not be sad or show negative feelings, or talk about upsetting things, and it has been killing me slowly my entire life. I genuinely don't want pity or to make others feel bad, but I do want to give you the chance to get to know me. I don't always talk about things so much. But I'm trying to get better at it.

[queenxxxsupreme]

Sweet

A/N: I've been working on this for a while. Hope you like it:)

Warnings: violence, fighting, brief mentions of Deckard Shaw with a thigh holster

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: Deckard Shaw proposes

Nothing really scared Deckard Shaw. After years and years of carnage and bloodshed, he’d grown accustom to what others would call horrors.

However, the sight of you angry at him terrified him.

Your jaw was locked tightly, your darkened eyes avoiding him as you worked on getting together what you could find to patch him up. A first-aid kit had practically been thrown on to the table beside him, along with a few towels.

You pulled a chair around the small table to his side. You brushed your hair over one shoulder as you sat down. He watched you with a guarded look, unsure of just what you were planning. You leaned across the table to get the first-aid kit.

“Say something, sweet.” He urged quietly.

“I have nothing to say to you.” You were beyond angry. You were furious. Why was he so stupid? Why couldn’t he just stick to the plan?

“You always have something to say.” Deckard rolled his eyes. You took the hem of his shirt and easily ripped the material so that you’d have access to the two bullet wounds on his torso. “Could’ve just asked me to take my shirt off for ya, sweet.”

“I’m not in the mood, Deckard.” You flicked a light on and waved the flame underneath a pair of tweezers. He looked away from you for a moment and across the hotel room. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Yeah, I know.” He muttered. 

“Good.”

“You remind me every day.”

“Shut up and be still.” You leaned forward to retrieve the bullet embedded just below his left clavicle.

“You sure you don’t wanna cut me open a little more-,”

“Don’t tempt me, Deckard.”

Silence fell between you both as you worked to get the wound patched up. He winced just slightly at the stinging sensation. You pulled the first bullet out and placed it on a gauze pad on the table.

“You’re never this quiet.” He commented before grinding his teeth together. You gave him no warning as you started digging around for the second bullet just between his ribcage and his hip. 

“If I talk right now, Deckard, it’s only going to end with me leaving.”

“You’re not going anywhere. It isn’t safe.”

“You don’t get to tell me shit about what is and isn’t safe.” You pulled the last bullet from his body and threw it and the tweezers down on the table. You were less than gentle with patching him up, letting just how angry you were seep through into how you were acting. This showed Deckard just how upset you were with his how he had been earlier today. You didn’t intentionally hurt him, but you weren’t gentle with him either.

You stood to your feet and started to leave when a hand latched on to your wrist. Deckard was on his feet and pulling you back to him in a heartbeat.

“Let me go, Deckard.”

“Not a chance, sweet.” He shook his head, looking down at you with a soft gaze. He opened his mouth to apologize but you started speaking first.

“I’m done with this, Deckard.” You ripped your hand out of his grip and took a step away from him, shaking your head as you fought the tears in your eyes. A lump began to form in your throat, threatening to take your ability to speak.

“The hell are you talking about, Y/N?”

“I’m done with you putting your life on the line for me way more than you need to! I am done with you thinking I’m incapable of fighting my own fights-,”

“I know you can fight, Y/N-,”

“You say that, but your actions today say otherwise.” You shook your head. “I’m not going to watch you kill yourself because you think I’m some damsel in distress all the time.”

Before he could say anything, your phone buzzed on the table. You moved past him to pick it up.

“What?” You snapped. 

“It’s me.” Letty spoke. “Tej has eyes on your hotel. There’s MI-6 agents outside getting ready to storm in after you two.”

“Of course there are.” You sighed out, fighting the urge to throw your phone across the room. “Thanks, Letty.” You hung up and tucked your phone into your jacket.

“I really don’t like you playing nice with them, you know.” Deckard commented as you started for the door.

“And right now, I really don’t like you. Put a shirt on. MI-6 is getting ready to come.”

“Where are you going?” Deckard picked up a black long sleeve and tugged it into place. 

“Wherever you aren’t.” You didn’t even make it two steps down the hallway before he had his hand on your arm, pulling you back to him. “Get your damn hand off of me, Deckard, before I put another bullet in you.”

He held your hard gaze before letting you go.

“I’m not letting you out of my sight, Y/N. Not until we fix this.”

“Sorry to interrupt your little moment, love birds.” Hobbs spoke as he and Roman jogged down the hallway. Where they came from, you weren’t sure, but you didn’t really care either. 

“We don’t have time to fight now.” You called over your shoulder to Deckard as you started for the elevator at the end of the hall. “But once we get somewhere safe, I’m going to kick your ass.”

“I’m looking forward to it, sweet.” Deckard glared at Hobbs, who stopped by your side at the elevator. He never liked how you were relatively close to the D.S.S. agent. Friends weren’t something you made easily, your trust was something you did just give out to anyone. Only a small handful of people had earned the rare title of being your ally. Luke Hobbs was one of them. 

“You two okay?” Hobbs whispered to you.

“You don’t care.” You let out a sigh, rolling your head from side to side. “You can’t stand him.”

“No, but I can put up with you.” He teased lightly and winked at you. You cracked a little smile, one that didn’t go unnoticed by Deckard. Even if he hadn’t been the one to make the smile happen, he was glad that someone made you smile. At least you weren’t pissed at everyone.

“So if you two don’t work out, baby doll, you think we still have a chance?” Roman casually leaned against the wall next to you. Since you two had met a little less than a year ago, he’d been playfully flirting with you and once in a while, you’d humor him and flirt back. 

Sometimes this drove Deckard insane, especially when he knew you were doing it to make him mad. But it never made him jealous. He knew you’d never leave him for another man. Still, Deckard didn’t like it. You were his. 

The brutish ex-military man drew the gun from the holster on his thigh and clicked the safety off. Roman noticed this and stiffened up. You paid no attention to your boyfriend, knowing he wouldn’t do anything-unless Roman acted on his words. Roman Pierce was mostly talk. 

“Oh, baby.” You feigned a pout, putting your hand on Roman’s arm. “We never had a chance.”

Deckard smirked from his place behind the trio, pride taking him over. Roman put his hand over his heart. 

“That’s cold, baby.”

The elevator doors finally opened and you froze. Half a dozen MI-6 agents in tactical gear were in the elevator. 

Deckard grabbed your arm and pulled you into his chest, then threw himself against the wall. Roman and Hobbs dove against the opposite wall, evading the rain of bullets. The doors closed almost as quickly as they had opened. You looked around, confused. What just happened?

“You’re welcome.” Tej’s voice came over the earpiece you forgot you were wearing. “Now quit standing there and get your asses moving please!”

“Thanks, Tej.” Hobbs moved away from the wall. 

“That was great.” Roman’s breathing was labored from the adrenaline coursing through his veins. You pushed yourself away from the wall and out of Deckard’s arms. 

“The elevator’s not going anywhere.” You observed. The numbers above the doors still said the box was on your floor. “Can you move it down on floor, Tej? Keep the doors shut.”

“Of course I can do that.” You could hear him roll his eyes. 

“That’s not going to help us with anything, Y/N.” Hobbs said. “We’re still stuck in a hotel full of agents who now-thanks to you two-think I’m a bad guy.”

“It’s not our fault you affiliate yourself with us.” Deckard stubbornly crossed his arms. 

“Open the doors for me, Hobbs.” You ignored them and gestured to the sealed elevator doors. 

“Why didn’t you ask me?” Deckard muttered as Hobbs moved towards the doors. 

“Because you’re still bleeding.” You glanced over your shoulder to him, briefly glancing over him to make sure he was okay.

“What’s your plan, Y/N?” Roman asked you as he went to stand next to Hobbs. The doors had been pried open and the large man was currently holding them open. 

“Ride the elevator down. When we get to the ground, we have a better chance of fighting our way out.”

“Good thinking.” Hobbs complimented.

“Yeah, well I’m pretty positive I’m the only one who has a brain out of the four of us.” You slipped underneath one of his arms and wrapped your hands around the think steel wire holding the elevator up. You supported your weight with your hands until you could get your legs wrapped around the cable. From there, you could slide down and quietly land on the elevator car. 

You looked back up to the boys, placing your index finger over your lips to signal them to be quiet. Roman was next. His landing would’ve been rough had you not grabbed his jacket to steady him on his feet. Deckard was after him. Even with his injuries, he made it down with ease. Hobbs was last. You moved to one of the sides of the car, careful not to let anything of yours touch the walls. 

“Okay, Tej. Take us to the ground.” You told him, putting your hand up to your ear. Deckard watched you for a few moments, his piercing blue eyes studying you carefully. You knew he wanted to say something about the conversation you’d had earlier but he wasn’t going to, not with two sets of ears in the room. 

Once the elevator hit the floor, you decided you were going to be the one to take out the MI-6 agents in the elevator. You ordered Tej not to open the doors yet. You needed to keep everything confined. You worked better in small spaces.

“Come on, Y/N. Let me go with you.” Hobbs didn’t like the idea of you going down there alone with six heavily armed men. 

“No offense, big guy, but you take up more space.” You tied your hair back into a ponytail and rolled your shoulders. 

Your eyes flickered to Deckard. He was silent but his eyes spoke a thousand words. He wasn’t happy. He wanted to argue with you, to tell you that it was ridiculous for you to go in alone when you had three, scratch that, two abled bodies to go in with you. Roman was just there to provide any distractions. Fighting wasn’t his thing. But after hearing that you were ready to leave him earlier, Deckard knew it would be better for him to shut up and let this go than to fight it. You were a big girl. You could handle yourself. You knew your boundaries. 

You looked to Hobbs and nodded your head once. He pulled the hatch open and you jumped down into the elevator car, on to the agent directly below you. He collapsed under your sudden weight on him. You pulled the baton from his waist and turned to hit the agent right behind you. The space was too restricting for them to use the big guns they had in their hands. You had the advantage, and you knew this. You smirked as you spun around and caught another agent in the side of the neck right where his protective gear ended. He cried out at the pain. 

Arms wrapped around you, pinning your arms to your sides. You gritted your teeth together and threw yourself back before throwing yourself forward, The sudden shift in weight caught the agent holding you off guard. He stumbled forward, releasing you as he toppled over you. You caught yourself on your hands and knees. Using this new position, you swiped your leg out to kick the agent to your right as hard as possible in his knee then again in his stomach when he collapsed to his knees. 

Someone grabbed your ponytail. This made you livid. You couldn’t stand when people grabbed your hair. Ignoring the stinging pain, you rolled over on to your back and managed to put yourself underneath the man kneeling behind you. You wrapped your legs around his head, not shying away from suffocating him with your thighs. You grabbed his hand as he tried to grab your thighs and pull you away from him. You twisted his arm painfully until you heard a snap and he let out a high-pitch yelp. While you did this, you noticed another agent reaching for his taser. You moved out of the way just as the agent reached down to tase you. 

He was suddenly thrown across the small room. You looked up to see Hobbs standing over you. 

“I had it under control.” You growled, bringing your elbow down to connect with the face of the agent between your legs. He fell unconscious. While Hobbs ensured the rest of the agents weren’t going to get up any time soon, you pushed the agent off of you and stood to your feet. 

“I just helped you out a little-,”

“I don’t need your help.” You cut him off. Deckard and Roman jump down from the top of the car, the latter landing less than elegantly. “Tej, open the doors.” 

“Okay, but I’m gonna warn y’all. There’s a bunch of trouble-,”

“Just do it!” You yelled. You were itching to fight, the anger boiling in your veins making you a danger to anyone around you.

You pulled picked up two batons and twirled them in your hands, the corner of your lips pulling up in a devilish smirk.

***

You weren't sure how the fire in the bar of the hotel started. You were too focused on fighting the armed operatives trying to stop you. You'd lost your jacket amidst a fight with a female agent and your shirt was torn. Your hair began to fall from the ponytail. You were exhausted. Your body ached and the number of cuts and bruises were increasing steadily. Not to mention the fire alarms were going off and the sprinklers decided to soak you. What was left of your shirt clung to your torso.

Roman and Hobbs had managed to get to the doors. You couldn't see Deckard but you guessed he also made it out.

You flipped a table and took cover behind it just before bullets flew your way. Instinctively, you flinched from the impact of the bullets on the wooden table top.

The echoing bangs stopped and for a moment. You spotted a pistol just out of reach. Knowing it was probably a bad choice, you dove out of the safety of the overturned table and grabbed the weapon. You turned and in the same instant, cocked the hammer, putting a bullet in the chamber. With your thumb hovering over the trigger, you stared down the gun at Deckard.

"It's only me, dove." He breathed out, holding his hands up to prove he meant no harm. He was battered and bruised, blood trickling from a wound on his temple.

You put the gun down, letting out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding, and looked around the room. You two were the only ones standing.

"You good?" He asked, taking a few steps towards you. You nodded, glancing down to gun in your hands. This was it. "Come on. We need to go-,"

"I'm not going with you, Deckard." You put the safety on and tucked the gun into the back of your pants. Who knew if you'd need it later.

"We don't have time for you to be dramatic, Y/N-,"

"I told you I'm not doing this." You shook your head softly. Your throat began to burn and your nose started to itch. "I could've lost you today, Deckard." Your voice lowered to a broken whispered.

Deckard glanced over his shoulder, letting out a small groan of disapproval for what he was about to do. He'd wanted to wait until a more romantic moment, a moment when he'd planned everything out. As he turned back to you, he ran his hand over his face.

"Your the best thing that's ever happened to me, Y/N." His voice was quiet, curling his fingers into fists by his sides. "I'd kill for you."

"I know." A soft little smile crossed your lips. He'd done in numerous times before. Deckard Shaw would move mountains and raise hell for you.

"It's hard for me to see you do what I do, sweet. I can see one wrong move you make and you.... You're dead, sweet." He whispered. His fingers uncurled. He brushed his thumb across his fingertips.

"It makes me feel like you think I'm incapable of holding my own. You think I'm weak."

"Sweet, you're the strongest person I know. You've put up with my ass for years."

You laughed gently. Deckard carefully watched you. The anger in your eyes had dissipate.

"Marry me, sweet."

Your lips parted as you stared across the room at the man before you. Your heart was still thumping from adrenaline, but now a new found rhythm began. You started to speak but the sprinklers stopped and the fire alarms went out. You briefly glanced to the ceiling before looking back to Deckard.

There you both stood, covered in blood, bruises, and wounds. Your clothes were soaked from the sprinklers. You looked like a wreck but somehow he didn't look too affected by all the fighting he'd been doing. Maybe it was just the fact that his shirt was still in tact while yours was ripped and revealing your black bra. The scene wasn't ideal. No one in their right mind would choose to propose in a room full of bodies, some of which were not living.

But this was yours and Deckard's life. The chaos was what had brought you two together and together, you survived in the brutal world.

Wordlessly, you crossed the room. When you got to him, you hesitated to put your hands on him, remembering the wounds underneath his shirt. You settled with cupped his jaw in your small hands.

"Yes." You breathed out, a little smile on your lips as you leaned up to kiss him. His arms slipped around your waist. He pulled you closer to him, ignoring the pain in his torso.

"I love you, sweet." Hearing the words for a second time today made your heart soar. Deckard Shaw wasn't one to admit his feelings out loud. You knew how he felt, he expressed his emotions in other ways. But hearing him say it was unlike anything else.

"I love you, Decks."

[lemonpeter]

Day 20 - Caught Masturbating (Peter/Tony)

I’m sorry this is late, it’s been a weird day. But I hope everyone enjoys 🧡 might add a second part to this later if people are interested

Warnings: Peter’s age isn’t mentioned but he’s 17, mutual pining/lust, masturbation, getting caught

————

Peter definitely had a problem with touching himself.

Like, he figured that any teenage boy did. It was just a thing. They discovered what an orgasm was and they never stopped touching themselves.

Except that since the bite, his sensitivity was even higher than normal.

At first he wasn’t sure how to deal, barely able to keep from rubbing one out every hour.

Then he eventually began to cope, figuring out how often he needed it and how long he could go without. Everything was all good. He knew what to do.

Except all of that went out the widow with Mr. Stark.

Tony Stark had been a main focus in Peter questioning his sexuality since he discovered what that even meant. The first time Peter had cum had been to a poster of Iron Man he had.

And meeting him at the impressionable age of fifteen? Peter was ruined for absolutely anyone else. It was like his dick had a trigger switch that was turned on if Mr. Stark was in a fifteen foot radius. Anything he had done to keep himself under control before was useless when it came to the older man.

Which was especially an issue when they started doing missions together. Or spent time in Mr. Stark’s lab or garage together.

Bye bye loose track pants, Peter always did his best to wear bottoms that wouldn’t show his embarrassing hard ons. Although sometimes it was still a struggle. Like in his skintight suit.

But if Mr. Stark ever noticed, luckily he never said anything.

Just being around the man drove him crazy. When his thoughts wandered...that was really where the problem came in.

———

If just being in close proximity drove Peter’s hormones insane, having Mr. Stark actually touch him made him nearly combust. Take that how you wish.

They’d been working on the suit for nearly two hours and Tony had wanted Peter in it to make sure everything still fit right and he didn’t mess up any of the aerodynamics.

At least that was what he said. He really just liked the kid in the suit. But he’d never admit to it. That was wrong.

Tony’s hands kept touching him as he worked, light brushing against his chest and back and shoulders.

It didn’t matter that there was fabric between them, his skin still sung at the almost-contact.

Eventually he ended up half naked, suit loose around his arms and torso as they figured out how to tweak one webshooter.

Again, that was what Peter believed, anyways.

Tony knew there was nothing wrong. He just couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t wrong to indulge himself if it was only looking, right? And he was helping the kid, that made it okay.

Until he started noticing the swelling bulge at Peter’s crotch.

He needed to give the kid some time to cool down. So he’d step out for a couple minutes and act like he hadn’t noticed anything. For the good of Peter, of course.

“I’ll be right back, underoos, don’t worry. Give me just a minute.” Tony walked out of the room, holding his phone like he was going to make a call.

Making sure he really was out of the room, Peter quickly shoved the bottom half of his suit aside and wrapped a hand around his cock. He still had boxers on, but they weren’t thick enough to prevent much of the feeling from getting to him.

A soft groan left him and he bit down on his bottom lip to keep most of the sound quiet. He didn’t need to alert anyone that walked by.

But he quickly started stroking himself, pushing his boxers down after a couple of minutes when he was absolutely sure that he was alone.

He needed to finish quickly, before Mr. Stark came back. There weren’t any slow movements or teasing. There wasn’t time for that. He just needed to cum.

And it definitely wouldn’t take long.

He could just remember the smell of Mr. Stark’s cologne, or the way the man’s hand felt on his shoulder.

His eyes slipped shut and he thumbed over the head of his cock, moaning at the extra sensitivity that brought him.

It was almost there, he could almost feel the crest of the wave as his high built and built-

And then there was someone clearing their throat.

His eyes flew open and frantically looked in the direction of the voice. Every part of him seemed to flash heat as his eyes landed on Mr. Stark.

“Oh god, no, Mr. Stark, I swear-“ his mouth couldn’t keep up with the excuses and apologies that his brain kept coming up with.

He gathered enough brainpower to slowly tuck away his still-throbbing cock. At least give himself some sort of dignity.

Although he wasn’t sure there was really much to save after that.

“Peter,” Tony said slowly. He had given him a couple of minutes and he thought Peter had finished when there had been a moment of silence. Obviously his assumption had been incorrect.

Peter was focused on his words. Or- word.

Oh god. No nickname. No nothing. Just Peter. Just his name and nothing else. That never happened.

“...yes?” He squeaked, resisting the urge to hide his face in his hands.

Tony just looked at him for a moment, fighting the urge to smile at how he blushed all the way to his chest. But he couldn’t smile. He needed to be serious. Although he was no good at that.

“You were doing that...why? I only had to step out for a couple minutes, we have a bathroom you could have gone to.” He sounded a bit exasperated, but it was mostly to cover up how turned on he was. That part didn’t need to be heard. It was highly inappropriate. He couldn’t let the teen know that he had been listening. He knew it was going to happen.

Peter whined softly, not looking at him. “Because...” because why? Going to the bathroom would have made much more sense. And he wouldn’t have gotten caught.

Maybe that was what he wanted. But there was no way that he was saying that.

“I don’t know,” he whispered, unable to make his voice any louder.

Tony nodded slowly, raking a hand through his hair. “Okay. Okay. Take the suit off, okay?”

More fear swept through Peter. “Wh-what?” He was going to get the suit taken. He just knew it. He had been caught in his disgusting desires and he had been careless and he was going to have the suit taken.

He was quickly spiraling in his own thoughts, keeping the suit pulled up on his lower half.

Tony watched him, expression softening as he noticed how he seemed to be panicking. “Hey hey. No. I’m not taking it from you, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just not in the mood to clean a multimillion dollar suit. I was gonna step out again and let you finish.” And keep listening for those beautiful noises.

It wasn’t wrong if he just listened, right?

Peter slowly looked up at him, blinking slowly. “You’re not taking the suit,” he said softly.

“Correct. You want me to step out now or-“

“No.”

He definitely answered that too fast. That was weird. That was definitely weird.

“I mean-“ he started backtracking. “You don’t have to leave. I’m...beyond mortified now and don’t think there’s even a chance I’ll be able to...yknow.” He cleared his throat, looking away as he started getting his suit on completely again.

Tony nodded slowly, watching him. He could definitely still make out a sizeable bulge in the front of the suit, but he wouldn’t mention it. It would have been wrong for him to mention it. He didn’t even need to seem like he was paying attention. It was better to just not say. “Alright. Well, just let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

Neither of them said anything for a moment after that.

Peter was waiting for him to correct the statement. To take it back and clarify what he meant.

Tony just looked at his phone quickly before shrugging. “Want to get back to work?”

“Actually....” don’t do it Parker, no, you’re going to look stupid if he didn’t mean it. “Maybe I could use some help,” he said shyly.

A slight smirk tugged at Tony’s lips and he nodded. “Just tell me what you need.”

Tony was a bad, bad man.

And Peter was finally starting to see that.