#you were in college working part time waiting tables left a small town never looked back

[jackandclairearesiblings]

Mine by Taylor Swift is theee SamJess song

[scarletssienna]

I Was Heavenstruck

Summary - Wanda takes a liking for a young coffee shop worker. The only issue is, Wanda’s married. word count: 4.7k

Warnings - cheating, mommy wanda, age gap relationship, oral, begging, fighting, obsessed wanda, dom!sub undertones, angst

AN - milf wanda milf wanda milf wanda - I suppose I should post this rather than hiding all my writings in my drafts. Literally have like 3 currently held hostage begging to be let out. Part 2 here

18+ minors/men dni

Coffee shops have always been one of your favorite places. Luckily for you, your little college town had the cutest one. You’d applied nearly the second you’d gotten settled. Now you were happily on your third year of working there. You loved the busy work. It kept your mind occupied and distracted as you could focus on the coffee and making the customers happy. Recently, you found yourself getting slightly distracted at work. There was a woman who came in every morning at the same time. She would order the same cappuccino and chocolate croissant and sit at one of the corner tables while she caught up on emails. Lately, she had begun to get a little chatty. She would stop at the pickup spot, leaning over the counter as she would laugh and ask you about your day. The amount of darlings and sweethearts she used in each sentence never failed to make you blush. While she was older something pulled you towards her. You didn’t notice a ring on her finger. You found yourself quickly falling for her. Now, after two months of the same back and forth you needed more. Your hand shook as you wrote on a napkin your phone number. You placed it on the little dish visible next to the mug. You passed the dish over to her with a slightly shaky hand and a dark blush on your face. Her eyes glistened and riddled with confusion at your nervousness. She hadn’t seen your little note yet.

“Sweetheart, are you feeling okay? Maybe you should take a break. Come sit with me?” She offered as she set the dish down and reached to your arm. You shook your head politely declining. As much as you would love to sit with her, you couldn’t just leave what you were doing. There were other orders needed. She nodded and looked down at her mug as she went to pick it back up. It was her turn to blush as she noticed the note. She hummed a little ‘oh’ of contentment and understanding before hurrying to her typical table.

She was sitting there grinning to herself as she sipped her coffee. She pulled out her phone and you did your best not to stare as you tried to keep occupied. When you felt a buzz from your phone you glanced up at Wanda and your face quickly turned red as you locked eyes. Quickly, you looked away and pulled out your phone to see the notification. It’s from a new number with a simple text. “Hey <3”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

After three days of spending much longer than you would care to admit texting you finally worked up the courage to ask her out. From there you’d decided on sandwiches and a walk in the park after your shift on Friday. Nervous as ever you’d woken up much earlier than anticipated but spent the entire morning anxiously getting ready for work. You did your hair in a half-up half-down look with two pieces in the front. You then did a simple makeup look. You got dressed before heading to work. Watching the time like a hawk, just on cue Wanda came in. She walked to the counter and ordered her usual drink but disregarded the croissant.

Your smile when you saw her had been apparent. She seemed almost as nervous as you as she made simple small talk as you made her coffee. When you passed it to her she smiled and winked before heading to her table. By the time she’d come in you’d have half an hour left of your shift. She waited patiently as she read a book, glancing up at you every once in a while. When you finished your shift she seemed to be lost in her book. You disappeared into the bathroom to put on a bit more of a casual appearance, changing your shirt and stuffing your old one into your purse. Looking into the mirror you took a few deep breaths to gain confidence before walking towards Wanda. She hadn’t even noticed you approaching her until you carefully settled your fingers on her book, pressing it into her lap softly.

“Ready?” You smiled down at her before pulling your bottom lip into your mouth with a nervous giggle. She nodded excitedly and shut her book, putting it into her bag before standing up.

“Ready.” She hummed and looked down at you now. She stood just a few inches taller than you which always made you blush. Her hand reached down and held yours confidently as if they were meant to be that way. She then softly tugged you out of the cafe and outside. Once outside she smiled down at you. “Where to?” You smiled and led her to your favorite sandwich shop. The conversation flowed easily as she confidently led you around. Anytime you would move too slowly a soft squeeze would be applied to your hand as a reminder, causing you to hurry next to her side again. The two of you walked closely, arms brushing every once in a while. The touch barrier is typically broken after several dates have been broken almost instantly with Wanda’s constant desire to be close to you. You didn’t mind it though. Her closeness and gentle grazes and touches made you feel comfortable as you moved down the busy streets. Eventually, you made your way to the park. She led you to a blanket with a small picnic basket and a bouquet on top. How she had set this up without you knowing and had nothing happen to it surprised you. You grinned excitedly as she handed you the fresh pink tulips. You practically squeezed with excitement and wrapped your arms around her engulfing her in a hug. She pressed a gentle kiss to your temple as you spoke. The action causes you to stutter slightly.

“I’ve never been given flowers before.” You muttered softly and she smiled at you before wrinkling her eyebrows in confusion.

“A pretty girl like you deserves flowers. What a shame. I’ll just have to fulfill that desire for you now.” She said with a little wink as she sat down. She motioned next to her for you to sit and you obliged, setting the flowers next to you. “Any other desires you need to be fulfilled, pretty girl?” She asked with a small smirk on her face. You blushed a bright shade and quickly looked away from her gaze. Flustered, you reached for the sandwiches and passed her hers. She grabbed the picnic basket and opened it. Inside she pulled out some fresh strawberries she had sliced up, a small container of veggies and hummus, and a bottle of wine with two glasses. You giggled when you saw the wine and bit your bottom lip slightly.

“Wanda is like barely noon.” You teased her for her drink of choice. You’d just barely turned 21 and despite how many college kids behaved you rarely drank underage. It had all been very new to you. She just chuckled and poured two small glasses, passing one towards you. You two fell into a simple conversation as you ate happily. Eventually, somehow you ended up lying, looking up at the clouds with your head in Wanda’s lap. Her fingers tangled delicately through your hair as she relaxed in the closeness. From an outside perspective, you two were moving quite quickly. But in reality, this was months of pining and small talk. Finally, you two were able to be close and together. When Wanda’s phone rang for the third time in a row neither of you could ignore it anymore. You reached over and grabbed it for her, passing it to her. You tried not to be nosy and avoided looking at the screen to see who was calling. She declined the call and set the phone to the side. You thought for a second before looking up at her, deciding to ask.

“Who’s in such a need for your attention?” You asked as you took her hand that wasn’t tangled in your hair into your own hands. Softly you played with her fingers, directing your attention to the clouds.

“Other than you? Nobody that deserves it.” She stated simply as she smiled down at you. You smiled at the answer before sitting up and flipping around to face her. You kicked your legs over hers carefully draping them over her lap. Her hands rested on your legs with a smile.

“Hmm.” You thought out loud as you leaned in a little bit. “I want you to tell me something.” You stated as you reached up to her hands with one of yours.

“Mmhm.” She hummed in response, causing you to continue.

“I want you to tell me a secret. Something no one else knows.” You said as a matter of fact. She chuckled at you and raised one of her eyebrows.

“No one else, huh.” She questioned as she leaned in a tiny bit. You nodded in response as you awaited her answer. “I want to kiss you right now.” She replied in a little whisper as she glanced down at your lips. You wasted no time as you quickly closed the gap between you. She immediately kissed back as one of her hands moved to your waist and the other settled on the back of your head. It was gentle and sweet. Delicate almost. She didn’t want to spook you too much. You weren’t exactly satisfied with her softness. When she pulled away you glanced back and forth between her lips and her eyes.

“Wanna know my secret?” You asked, desperation heard through your voice. She just nodded as the scene unfolded in front of her. Carefully you made your way to straddling her lap. Her breath hitched in her throat as it was finally your turn to fluster her. “I want you to kiss me, kiss me, Wanda.” You stated as your finger pressed into the center of her chest softly. She leaned in to kiss you again. This time it was real. It was passionate and deep and everything you could ask for. Her hands grabbed at your hips as she pulled you closer, your body’s flush. Her tongue swooped against your bottom lip, eagerly seeking entrance. You obliged happily as your hips ground softly against her. When you two eventually pulled away you became suddenly very aware of your public presence. You blushed red as you glanced around before hiding your face in the crook of her neck. She held you close as her hand found a slow pattern tracing up and down your back.

The next few days were electric. Then weeks passed and you continued strong. You’d hit the three month mark of your first date last Friday and you just felt more encapsulated with Wanda's aura than ever before. Sometimes after your shift ends you two would walk around the shops that line the street. Other times it was late and you just needed a break from the textbooks. You would end up tangled up in the backseat of her car like a high school couple hiding from the world. Your favorites have been when she shows up for her usual at work. Several minutes after she’s served, you take a ‘break’ and disappear off into the bathroom for hidden kisses. Never once have you gone all the way though. And never once has the conversation of going to either of your houses come up: Until today.

When Wanda came in for her usual you saw her and a big smile grew across your face at the sight of her. It quickly faded as you noticed her discomfort. You frowned in confusion as you saw the man surprisingly close to her. His hand rested on her back as they quietly discussed their orders. Wanda looked quite uncomfortable but you didn’t notice as you were trying to figure out who the man with her was. You knew you recognized him but weren’t sure where from. When he came to order you immediately realized.

“We’ll take a cappuccino and,” he started but you quickly cut him off.

“Vision?” You asked confused before gasping. “Vision. No way.” You exclaimed. Wanda’s confusion was evident as you two shared shocked expressions and surprised laughter.

“Wow! Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Wow. Wanda!” He exclaimed as he looked down at her. “Our families were quite close when we were young! They still are but after college started I kinda disappeared into my own world.” He said as he shook his head. “We practically grew up together. Well, she is several years younger than me but you know.” He teased slightly before looking back at you. “This is my wife, Wanda.” He smiled. The words hit you heavily and suddenly you noticed all of Wanda’s discomfort. She was married. Your smile faded and you heard the blood rushing in your ears. You covered it well as he happily carried on.

“Yeah, uh, we’ve met sorta.” You said with a squinted look. “She’s quite the regular here.” You said with a faint laugh.

“We have to catch up soon.” He said suddenly and you just nodded sheepishly. “Friday. We’re having a little party. It’d be great to have you. Bring a plus one if you’d like? Boyfriend? Friend? Whatever.” You just nodded in agreement before smiling lightly. You scribbled down your phone number before sliding it to him and mumbling about getting their orders. They ordered it to go before leaving. The look on Wanda’s face stuck with you. How could she not have mentioned she was married? What was she doing with you?

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Friday came quicker than you’d expected. Throughout the rest of the week, you’d avoided Wanda: Her calls, her desperate texts, even your typical work hours. What you couldn’t stay away from was Friday. But you had a plan. Natasha. Your best friend. You’d asked her for a favor and she was quick to agree. Vision had approved you bringing a guest so there you did. You had a bottle of wine in your hand. You both were dressed quite nicely. Natasha in a tight red dress that complimented her hair nicely and accentuated her chest and ass. You were wearing clothes nicer than you’d put on in forever. A tight black dress that hugged your hips just perfectly and left your chest quite out and exposed. Despite your pleas of denial Natasha had encouraged you to wear heals and boy did they do wonders for your legs. You knocked on the door and waited nervously. Wanda opened it with a desperate but nervous smile. It faded when she noticed you had a plus one. She was wearing a white jumpsuit, a little more conservative than you two but it had you blushing anyways. You exchanged awkward highs and smiles. She let you in with a fake smile as she attempted to seem normal.

“This is Natasha. My girlfriend.” You smiled fakely as you watched them introduce themselves.

“Your girlfriend! Wow yes. So nice to meet you.” Wanda bore fakely through gritted teeth. She knew you didn’t have a girlfriend. Vision didn’t. And you planned on making the whole scene very convincing. You two entered and Vision made his appearance. You and Natasha were quickly pulled off into a conversation, weaving your way throughout the crowded house. You both found drinks and made attempts at casual conversation with people. Natasha made the practice of being extremely touchy. She would lean down and whisper in your ear which caused shivers down your spine. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you blush. Wanda watched the two of you interact from her place as she sipped her drink quietly. The quick kisses you and Natasha would share and her quite apparent hand on your ass caused Wanda to squirm from across the room. Your drinks were set down as you two moved off to the side of the crowd. Her hands roamed across your body as if there was no one else in the room. She leaned down and whispered in your ear causing you to blush deeply.

“Who knew this would all come so naturally.” She paused, her hands settling on your hips as she pulled your body’s flush. “I want more.” She whispered before leaning down to kiss you deeply. Thus began a heavy make-out. Her tongue made a quick fashion of taking control of the kiss. You moaned as you opened your mouth further. Your hand tangled softly in her hair as she squeezed at your ass. You grumbled a little when she eventually pulled away. She wasn’t done yet. She leaned down once more to whisper in your ear. “Forget Wanda. I could treat you so right baby. Let’s just get out of here.” Your eyes flickered over to where Wanda was standing as you made accidental eye contact. She was schaithing as she faked enjoyment with the people surrounding her. Her eyes rarely left you. You couldn’t even tell if this was all an act anymore or not. You didn’t even have a chance to consider the proposition Natasha had put up when Wanda practically stormed over. She seemed to have taken your eye contact as a signal to come over. A giant smile plastered on her face when she reached out and touched your arm.

“Honey, can we step over here for a second? I’d love to just have a word with you?” She asked as her arm slid down to your hand, gripping it tightly. She didn’t wait for a response as she began pulling you off down a hallway and away from everyone. You glanced back at Natasha and all she did was wink. The house was bigger than you’d expected it to be. She looked around making sure no one was paying attention before pulling you up the stairs. She tugged you into the nearest room and you clumsily fell into her embrace. She shut the door, catching you carefully before pushing you up against the wall. “What the hell is all this?” She started, as if she was allowed to be the person upset here. Your eyes avoided her as you looked around the room, noticing a bed and dresser you were suddenly fearful she had brought you into her bedroom. The one she shared with her husband. “Oh don’t get your panties all tied in a knot, this is the guest room.” She said coldly as she shook her head. You pulled against her grip causing her to just tighten it. You looked up into her eyes as you struggled with what to even say. Her cold demeanor dropped suddenly as she sighed. Her hands fell to her sides and her eyes looked into yours, now glossy.

“When were you planning on telling me you were married?” You started, cautiously. “That you have this whole extravagant life. And you just sneak around with me.” You groaned. “Because you’re married!” You practically yelled causing Wanda to quickly snap her hand up and cover your mouth.

“Shh.” She hushed you softly. You shook your head, shaking her hand off of your face as you swatted at her.

“Don’t shush me.” You growled as you frowned. She sighed and took a step back, giving you a little bit of space. Your arms fell to your sides in defeat as you finally showed how you really felt. The pit in your stomach grew as you spoke quietly. “I just thought it was real.” You looked away from her and shook your head as tears filled your eyes. “Was any of it even real?” You asked, not even sure if you’d want to know the answer. She stepped back towards you again and cupped your face softly.

“Sweetheart, it was real. It was all real.” She said, her voice cracking as she spoke. “It was more real than anything I’ve felt in so,” she sighed. “So long.” You finally looked back into her eyes. They were glossy as tears threatened to fall. “I got in too deep.” She whispered. “I fucked up Detka. It was never supposed to go as far as it did.” She now looked away from you, feeling guilty. “You were just supposed to be my little distraction in the morning. My beaming ray of sunshine I would get to enjoy with my coffee. I fell for you though. I hoped the date would be terrible and would push us apart and I would lose interest.” She looked back at you. You pulled your bottom lip into your mouth and frowned. “I didn’t. In fact, I grew to really quite adore you.” She smiled a tiny bit. It was a sad, guilty smile that faded when she saw your frown. Her thumb wiped your tears away and she kissed your cheek repeatedly.

“You used me Wanda. You used me as a distraction from your sad, boring life, and unhappy marriage.” Your words were cold and mean. They took her by surprise but she knew it all already. She frowned and sighed.

“Please sweetheart. You have to forgive me.” She pleaded, her hands sliding down your face and down your arms to your hands. The tears that had been threatening to escape finally fell. She gripped your hands tightly in hers as she began to beg. “Please.” She leaned forward again and began to kiss at your face and neck. Between each kiss a beg or plead would follow. Her hands moved to your hips and back to your ass. Her hands stilled as she leaned to whisper in your ear. “It can be our little secret Detka. No one has to know.” She nipped at your earlobe slightly, causing you to groan. You felt sick sneaking around like this. Though there was something that drew you to the situation so strongly. It pulled and urged you against all of your better judgment. You broke, nodding weakly. She saw you nod and gasped relieved as she kissed you deeply, passionately. It was a kind of desperation you had never felt from her before. The feeling suffocated you. Her utter obsession with you fueled a fire in you you hadn’t ever even dreamt of. She dropped to her knees, looking up to you with desperate eyes.

“Let me thank you.” She murmured, her hands sliding up your thighs underneath your dress. You groaned at her touches and nodded again as your hand went to her hair. It gently tangled in her curls as she left wet kisses up your thighs. You separated your legs a little as you leaned up against the wall. She pulled your panties down your thighs and faked a gasp at the wet spot on them. “I’ve barely even touched you sweetheart.” She teased and stuffed your panties into her pocket, not planning on giving them back. You whined softly as you pulled her head closer to where you needed it. She immediately gave you the attention you deserved. She lifted your leg over her shoulder for easier access. Her head was immediately buried in your cunt as she licked moved as if she was starved. Her tongue moved skillfully through your folds and around your clit. You had to hold back gasps and moans as you fell back against the wall harder. A hand covered your mouth to stifle the moanes she created as she hungrily ate between your thighs. Your hand held tighter in her hair as you pulled her closely, directing her to what you liked. You could feel her smiling below you, this caused you to blush a dark color as you closed your eyes tightly. The embarrassment washed away as you only felt pleasure. Her tongue brought you to a quick orgasm. You bit down on your hand softly to muffle the moans she was so easily eliciting from your body. As you came down from the high you nearly fell over. She was quick to catch you as she held you up carefully. Your eyes were still closed as you leaned your head against the door, catching your breath tiredly. She wiped her face a little as she chuckled at your exhaustion. She leaned forward kissing you deeply. You kissed back with desire. You moaned as you tasted yourself on her. You whined into the kiss as it turned sloppy. She pulled you into her arms, holding you closely as you snuggled into her embrace, leaning your entire body weight on her.

“Come here darling.” She whispered soothingly as she held you. “Mommy’s got you.” She whispered instinctively. The nickname she used on herself caught you a little off guard at first. But you smiled and blushed at the comfort and fuzzy feelings you were feeling. She lifted you carefully and walked you to the bed before gently setting you down. You laid back on the bed and reached for her to lay with you. She stayed standing though and tried to part from your body. When she tried to let go of you your eyes snapped open and you whined.

“No mommy.” You complained and grabbed her clothes. She leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, soothing your worries.

“I’m just going to grab some things to clean you up sweetheart I’ll be right back.” She whispered, causing you to reluctantly let go of her. She disappeared into the bathroom and was gone far too long as she collected some things. She returned only a moment later and sat down next to you. You squirmed up against her and she made gentle work of cleaning you up. Her hands gripped at your thighs causing you to instinctively open them for her, whining at the touch. She gently wiped you up before setting the wash cloth aside and carefully taking off your makeup. Your eyes stayed closed as you drifted off into a relaxed, sleepy state. When she finished she peppered soft kisses across your face before stopping at your lips. Her tongue was immediately seeking entrance again, causing you to moan and press your legs together once again. She pulled away when she noticed your reaction, tisking you no softly.

“Mommy’s sorry honey, no more tonight.” She hummed and soothed your cheek. You nodded and looked up at her with big eyes.

“The party.” You looked up with concern. She shook her head a little with a sweet smile.

“I have it handled. I’ll be right back okay?” She assured you as she waited to leave your embrace until you approved. You nodded and she stood up. She went to the mirror and fixed up her appearance. You turned your body so you could watch her, a small smile on your face. She smiled back at you before leaving the room and going downstairs. She explained to Vision that you were quite ill and would have to stay the night. When he offered to come up and help she politely declined, explaining how he needed to stay to finish up the party. He agreed and Wanda returned upstairs. She stopped in her room first and grabbed some pajamas before returning to the guest room, locking the door behind her. You reached for her impatiently, whines leaving your lips.

“Come here.” You murmured, clinging onto her jumpsuit when she was within reach. She stood next to the bed while you nuzzled your face up against her thigh. She took your phone from you one hair playing softly though your hair.

“What’s your password honey?” She asked, causing you to mumble it out. She typed it in before finding Natasha’s contact. She sent her a text saying she could leave and you would be alright for the night. You didn’t even question what Wanda was doing on your phone, all you cared about was being close to the older woman. She then set to work getting you out of your dress and into some comfortable clothes. All of her touches felt like fire on your body. You squirmed beneath her as her fingers grazed up your thighs. She then stepped back and changed out of her clothes. You watched in awe, biting your bottom lip as she stripped in front of you. Her confidence radiated as she didn’t even hesitate changing with your watchful eyes. When she finished she climbed in bed behind you. You scooted back against her body as she pulled you flush against her. You relaxed in her embrace, falling asleep quickly. All of your comfort would be taken away though in just a few short hours when she had to return to bed with her husband.

[archivequinn]

the bond between us eddie munson x female reader

Summary: You go back to the town you had to leave to go to university, but the town wasn't the only thing you left behind, you go to the place you least want to be for a date and there you run into your ex-boyfriend Eddie Munson. ao3 link Words: 5,147 Warnings: bleeding, injury part one | part two (completed)

Looking from the outside, the Hideout bar in the small town of Hawkins was a place that had seen better days. The wooden facade, a sign hanging down from the weight of the snow, and the red paint peeling at the corners. Near the door, a dull yellow neon sign flickered “Hideout” in a dull flash of light.

When you stepped inside, the nostalgic and somewhat sad atmosphere of this place immediately hit you in the face. The smell of tobacco permeated the place, combined with the slight creak of walking on the old wooden floors. A few bare lamps hanging from the ceiling provided a warm but insufficient light.

The long wooden bar counter behind the stools was blackened with time, the surface streaked with water rings left by glasses. On the walls hung a few faded rock posters and plaques of pool champions from a local tournament.

A few silent alcoholics were seated at tables in the corner, drinking their glasses down. With their worn coats and tired expressions on their faces, they seemed in no hurry to spend another winter evening here. A homeless man sat at the back table, slowly puffing on a cigarette and watching the snowflakes flutter outside the window. A few people gathered around the pool table, joking and waiting for the next game. A group of people were sprawled on stools, raising their cheap beers in the air, smiling at each other and chatting. Some of them turned to the stage, staring at the microphones placed next to the guitar amps as if waiting for the next performance.

You took a deep breath, sat down on one of the stools and looked at the clock on the wall behind the bartender who was wiping the glasses with a clean cloth. It was almost seven in the evening, less than ten minutes before the date was due to start. 

You smiled and shook your head at the bartender who asked if you wanted something to drink. “I'm waiting for someone,” you replied shortly. You were feeling a little uneasy, being here of all places to meet made you feel uneasy. In fact, just being back in this town made you uneasy in itself.

You remembered the day you left this damn town to go to university. You had to leave not only this place, but the love of your life. Eddie. 

Now you had graduated and you were back home. For the first few weeks you spent time at home with your family, you spent every evening with them, as if to make up for all the times you couldn't see your friends. You always felt like asking about Eddie, but you preferred to keep it inside. You thought that if you ever got the chance, you might mention his name in conversation, or that your friends would mention him. 

They said he'd been dating a girl for a while, and I think you heard that after he broke up with her, he hadn't been around much. He never went to college, he was still living with his uncle in the trailer park, he was fixing cars and Steve said he was pretty good at it.

The first thing you asked was, “Does he still play guitar?'' Robin was the one who answered that question. 

“He hasn't touched it since you left...''

This sentence was like a flame burning your throat, preventing you from swallowing. “What about his dreams? He was going to leave this damn town to make records, to become a famous guitarist like his dream...'' You couldn't put the thoughts that came to your mind into words. Because you knew the answer.

And deep down inside, you knew your friends blamed you for leaving Eddie when you left. But they were too nice to tell you that.

But what else could you do? You both knew a long-distance relationship wouldn't work. 

Having to break up with Eddie was like a wound in the center of your chest that still wouldn't heal. It seemed like a simple “obligation” to everyone else, but only you and Eddie knew how complicated it really was. Going to university was a dream, your dream... but it was also an inevitable path, shaped by your family's pressure. It seemed the only way out of this town, the only way to make a future for yourself. Eddie, on the other hand, had never felt like he belonged in the world outside Hawkins. He had grown up in the trailer park, learned about life with his uncle, and even his dreams had been shaped within the confines of this town. His dream was to become a famous guitarist, yes, maybe that was just a fantasy for him. A dream he knew he would never achieve.

He discussed it with you for hours. “You're leaving me here,” he once said, his voice cracked, his eyes full of sadness mixed with anger. “I don't belong in your world and you don't belong in mine. You'll understand that better when you go to university.” At that moment you couldn't fight him with the words that were stuck in your throat. Because he was right. Eddie was living a very different life, one that could never coincide with your career goals. While you'd be in the campus libraries, full of books, he'd be fixing old cars in the grease-smelling workshops of Hawkins.

But what hurt the most was watching Eddie quietly give up on his dreams. “We can find a way out together,” you said, almost pleadingly. But Eddie shook his head from side to side, averting his eyes as his hair fell over his face. 

“My place is here. Your place is... somewhere else. It would consume us both, you know that.” His sarcastic tone, always taking things for granted, was gone. It was replaced by the voice of a tired, accepting man.

Eddie said he couldn't imagine you every morning in another city, in another life. “How can distance be enough when even Hawkins isn't enough?” he said, smiling bitterly.

You knew in your heart as you left him behind: The separation wasn't just a physical distance. When you left Eddie that night, you took a part of him with you forever. And Eddie had done the same. 

So what were you doing at the Hideout now? Yes, you were waiting for your first date with a guy named Josh, but you wondered why it had to be here. When Josh suggested to meet there, you couldn't say no, because what were you going to explain to him, “My ex-boyfriend used to play there all the time, and even though he doesn't play there anymore, I'm not over him, so that bar has a special meaning for me, I can't go there”? That would be the worst impression you could give on a first date.

You turned around slowly as you heard someone calling your name, that familiar voice bringing a familiar face with it. It was Gareth, Eddie's friend from the band and the matchmaker who made you two become a couple in the first place. Seeing him here made your heart race, you thought, if he's here maybe... maybe. The possibility that because he was here, Eddie might be around here somewhere made your stomach twist in knots.

You put a warm smile on your face and hugged Gareth, “What are you doing here? I thought you were out of town,” Gareth said as he hugged you back.

''Yeah, I've been back for a couple weeks now. I uhm, graduated,” you explained. Your eyes were scanning the bar quickly, the mere thought of Eddie being here made you want to throw up from anxiety.

“I'm glad to hear that,” Gareth said as he sat down on the stool next to you. ”So, what's up? Where are your friends, are you waiting for someone?''

You nodded as you took a sip of water. “Actually, I have a date, I'm waiting for him,” you said, and it felt like you had been punched in the stomach, like it was a crime to say that. You thought Gareth would be angry about it, after all you had caused his friend to be miserable for months. But it had been years, hadn't it?

Gareth nodded his head as if to say he understood and smiled. “Alright, I'll be on stage in a bit, nice to see you again, hope you have a good time on your date.'' After patting you on the shoulder, he took the beer the bartender handed him and walked away from you.

Looking after Gareth, you took a deep breath and began tapping your fingers nervously on the surface of the table. 

Just then, the cold air hit you in the face as the door opened and a man stepped into the bar, wearing a brown leather jacket and an expensive scarf that looked like it had been bought in a luxury store. His blond hair was styled like something out of a hairdresser's advertisement and his bright blue eyes looked arrogantly around him. It was him. Josh. Even before he said his name, you knew who he was.

When Josh noticed you, he walked over with a wide smile, as if he was the only one lighting up the room he was in... or so he thought. “Hey, you're just in time, too!” he said, his voice filled with a squeaky cheerfulness. 

“Yeah,” you said, with a forced smile, ”I've been here a few minutes.”

Josh made an almost implicit gesture for you to get up from the stool. “Great, great. Let's move over there, the light's a little too bright here. I'll find you a better seat.” Before you could understand what he was saying, he placed his hand lightly on your back and guided you to a darker corner of the bar.

Josh gestured exaggeratedly to the waiter as he sat on the opposite stool. “Two margaritas for us! But please... make sure you cut the lemons right. I had a very bad experience at a bar last time.” His tone was more like a lecture than an order. It was impossible not to notice the patient but obviously irritated expression on the waiter's face.

“Well, actually I don't want a margarita, a water will do for now,” you said, interrupting his arrogant order. Josh cocked his head to the side and looked at you as if you had said something strange.

“Water? God, you can't be serious,” he said with a mocking laugh. “Relax, we're not here to party, but we can make the first date count, right? Tell me, are you having any fun?”

For a moment lightning flashed in your head. You had already gotten annoyed with him from the very first sentence. How could he be so cocky? You crossed your arms on the table and stared at him, inwardly looking for ways to escape.

“Yeah, I don't usually have to drink to have fun,” you said, a little teasingly. Josh took it as a joke and tried to laugh, but even his laugh was insincere.

“Oh, okay. I think you're serious. You know, people usually find me extremely funny. I mean, not just because of my looks,” he said, smoothing his hair with his hand. “I guess you've noticed that too.”

“Sure, I noticed,” you mumbled, but your eyes were searching for Gareth and the others without realizing it. You felt like you were going crazy if you spent any more time with this man.

As he talked, it was like a part of your soul was dying, you could have been on the most boring date in the world.

“I mean,” Josh continued, twisting the lemon wedge in his hand, ”Hawkins is a small town, isn't it? I hate being here. Imagine, people are born and raised here and never get out. I think you were born and raised here too, weren't you?”

With that sentence, his discomfort grew. Eddie's face involuntarily flashed before your eyes. You knew that Eddie had always felt inadequate because of people like Josh. Instead of answering him, you kept silent, because if you opened your mouth, the anger you were trying to hide behind your words would show.

Just then Gareth's voice was heard on stage. “Okay everyone, tonight we're going to get a little nostalgic! We're going to play one of the ‘Corroded Coffin’ songs. You used to be with us every Tuesday at Hawkins. Maybe some of you will remember our songs and sing along, who knows?”

Gareth's voice pulled you back to the real world. In the dim lights of the bar, you suddenly stopped breathing. Your heart's beating like crazy. If Gareth was on stage... Eddie.

Gareth gripped the sticks of his drum kit and sat on the drum seat, you knew the other members of the band, you had spent enough time with each of them. Eddie and the others used to go on that stage when you were still here and with him. You always watched them from the front. You listened to Eddie playing his guitar, looking into your eyes, as if you were the only one there.

But now Eddie wasn't on stage... And it felt like something was missing. Like something was wrong, like the last piece of the puzzle was missing.

Josh continued to talk about himself, as he had for the last hour. You were staring at the stage, listening to the songs you once knew by heart being played again, remembering the lyrics with each note. You remembered how each note made you feel. The whole thing was passing before your eyes like a movie, and when your song started playing, you felt your eyes fill with tears. Everything seemed blurry, everything seemed to feel sorry for you.

You stood up, grabbing your bag. ''I'm sorry Josh... I almost forgot something I had to do... Uhm, I have to go...'' you said.

Josh didn't seem convinced. “Oh, yeah? I can give you a ride... I've got a car outside the door.” he offered. 

You shook your head quickly. “No need, I'll go,” you insisted.

“It's cold and the snow is falling faster. I'll give you a ride,” he said as he put a few dollars and a tip on the table and stood up.

“No,” you said shortly.

“Do you really have to go?” he said, this time in a slightly sarcastic tone. “I mean, I put a lot of work into planning tonight, and you could at least be a little... I don't know, grateful for that, right?”

Josh's words froze you in place. Your eyes quickly turned to him. “Grateful? What are you talking about?” you said, your brow furrowed, your tone sharp.

“I mean, after all, I spent my time and energy to get here,” Josh said, spreading his arms wide, putting his arm behind your back and leaning in close enough to press you into your chair. “You need to spend more time with me here. After all, don't you want to get to know me? Or... maybe you're being too coy.”

You were startled when his arm came close enough to pinch you. “Pull your arm away!” you said sternly, but Josh just grinned.

“Oh, come on, don't be so scared. I'm not a bad guy. I brought you here because I thought we could have a nice evening,” he continued. This time his voice was more sarcastic and disturbing. 

“Let me go,” you said again, this time sounding more nervous. But Josh took these words as an invitation instead of a threat.

“Let me go? Oh, I see...” he said, leaning closer to your face and gazing into your eyes. “You actually like it, don't you? This little 'coy' game. Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm good at figuring out girls.”

Just then, as your whole body froze, a voice from behind you made you hold your breath.

“You're also good at blowing your chances, apparently.”

Someone tapped Josh hard on the shoulder. Josh's expression changed. Frowning, he turned around to meet Eddie's stern gaze. The anger on Eddie's face made it feel icy even inside the bar.

“Who the hell are you?” Josh asked, giving Eddie a condescending look. But Eddie's smile held no warmth; it was more like an approaching storm.

“I'm not an asshole like you, that's for sure,” Eddie said, his voice deep and menacing. Then he turned to you, a soft but worried look in his eyes. “Did he touch you?”

Josh interjected, his voice loud and confident enough to drown out Eddie's question. “This isn't about you, man, leave us alone.”

Instead of answering, Eddie suddenly grabbed Josh by the collar. He easily lifted him off the floor and shoved him hard into one of the bar's tables. The chair tipped over as Josh fell to the floor, several people standing around you recoiled in horror. Eddie leaned over Josh and whispered in a cold voice.

“You will not bother her again. In fact, you will never set foot in this bar again. Do you understand?”

But Josh didn't seem like the type to give up that easily. He put his hand on Eddie's collar and stood up quickly. “You think you're gonna scare me? Get out of the way, you fucking bastard!” he shouted, and then he punched Eddie hard. As the punch connected with Eddie's jaw, the loud thud inside the bar momentarily froze the whole place. A thin trickle of blood trickled down Eddie's lip as he took a few steps back.

But instead of pausing, Eddie became even more enraged by the impact. The rage in his eyes was now uncontrollable. He quickly wiped his cheek and took a step toward Josh.

“I warned you,” Eddie said. There was such determination in his voice that you could see Josh was scared.

Eddie moved quickly and punched Josh hard in the stomach, then, without missing a beat, struck him a second time. This time his fist connected with Josh's jaw and he staggered back to the ground. But Eddie didn't stop. He pounced on him, grabbed him by the collar and delivered another blow to his face. “You're learning the price of bothering a woman,” Eddie said, his voice growing more determined with each blow.

Josh tried to stop Eddie with his hands, but Eddie was giving him no chance. Within seconds, Josh's face was covered in blood. Those inside the bar looked on, horrified by the fight, while Gareth got up from the stage and prepared to try and pull them apart.

Eddie took one last look at Josh's face and pushed him hard to the floor. “If you ever cross me again, I'll make you regret it,” he said.

Josh staggered to his feet. His shirt was soiled, his face bloodied and his pride shattered. “You'll pay for this,” he mumbled, but his voice couldn't hide his fear. He walked quickly to the door and left the bar.

Eddie took a deep breath and sat up. Blood was still seeping from his lip, but he didn't seem to care. When he turned to you, the anger was gone from his gaze, replaced by a familiar warmth.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

You nodded and put your hand over your heart. A few minutes later the waiters were picking up the fallen stools and the chaos inside the bar had slowly subsided. People were back in their seats, chatting, and a few people were still discussing what had happened in whispers. 

You turned to Eddie and took a deep breath. The adrenaline was giving way to shame, especially as you felt the stares around you. “Everyone's staring at us,” you muttered, your eyes drifting to the floor.

Eddie shrugged, as if he didn't really care. “Let them look,” he said, smiling slightly. But even the small grin on his face disappeared instantly because of the cut on his lip and he groaned slightly.

Just then Gareth came up to you with an ice pack. There was a slight look of concern on his face as he handed it to you. “Here. That should help a little,” he said. He paused for a moment, turning to Eddie. “I have to get back to the stage, but are you... are you all right?”

Eddie nodded his head as if thanking Gareth and gave a slight smile. “I'm fine. Don't worry.”

Gareth looked at Eddie for a few more seconds, then glanced in your direction, patted him on the shoulder and returned to the stage. Guitars and drums echoed through the bar as the band regrouped and prepared to play. But no longer could they drown out the pounding of your heart.

You gently took the ice pack gently and pressed it to Eddie's bleeding lip. Eddie flinched involuntarily and tried to pull back, but you didn't let go. “Stop,” you said softly. “At least let me take care of this while you put up a big fight for me.”

Eddie's gaze stopped on you, the anger long gone from his eyes. A strange embarrassment had taken its place, but he said nothing. As you cleaned the blood from his lip in silence, you finally couldn't resist and tried to speak. “I didn't know you were here. If I had known...”

Eddie interrupted, trying to avert his eyes from you, but finally he looked at you and took a deep breath. “Wouldn't you have come if you'd known?” he said, his voice more calm and vulnerable than you expected.

You parted your lips to answer, but Eddie kept talking. “I know... I heard you were back in town but I didn't dare to see you. I didn't know what to say, but... I still wanted to see you, so... I watched from a distance.”

Surprised, you put down the ice pack and looked at him. “You watched from a distance?”

Eddie tilted his head, a faint smile playing on his lips. “I don't want to sound like a stalker,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “But yeah. Ever since I found out you were here... I guess I've been following you like a shadow, watching you from a distance, not bothering you. I don't know, maybe I didn't have the courage to see you again. Maybe I thought that if you saw me here... you would run away.”

You felt your heart squeeze at this confession. Eddie's voice was so honest and vulnerable that it was hard to look him in the eye. 

You pressed the ice pack to Eddie's lip again and leaned a little closer to him. “Eddie...” you whispered. “Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you come to me? You could have talked to me. I wouldn't have run away.”

Eddie looked you in the eye, but this time he didn't run away. “I don't know. Maybe I didn't think I deserved it. I didn't have anything right to say to you. But... seeing you was enough. Seeing you happy... Anyway, you were telling that idiot that you had to leave... Can I drop you where you're going? I don't want him to get in your way.’’

''Uhm... I made up a lie to get rid of him. But I'd better get back home... It's been a long night.''

The moonlight glinted off the thin layer of snow that had just fallen, and it looked as if the ground was covered in a silver blanket. Eddie was walking a few steps ahead of you, his hands in his pockets as usual, but his shoulders were much broader than they had been. This difference caused your eyes to involuntarily drift to his back and silhouette. You immediately averted your eyes, but you couldn't control where your thoughts were going. 

Eddie suddenly stopped and turned his head to look at you. “Are you still cold?” he asked, his voice soft yet protective.

You tried to smile at him, but your lips felt numb from the cold. “No, I'm fine,” you said, but you didn't sound convincing.

Eddie shook his head from side to side, as if expecting this answer. “Let me put this jacket to good use,” he said, and in one motion he took off his leather jacket. You couldn't help but notice the moment when his arm muscles peeled away from his jacket. This whole car mechanic thing... it had definitely worked for him.

When he handed you the jacket, you tried to protest. “But I thought you'd be cold too...”

“Stop arguing with me,” he interrupted, smiling slightly. He gently placed the jacket on your shoulders and straightened the collar. “Do I look like I'm cold?”

He was right. It was impossible not to notice the muscles under his thin black shirt. His shoulders looked wider, his arms thicker and his back stronger. The boy who years ago had played songs on the bar stage with his guitar was now a different man. There was something about Eddie; maybe the years, maybe the hardships he had endured had made him more attractive. But one thing was certain: This man was too good looking for any girl in town to refuse. 

“Thank you,” you whispered, inhaling the faint smell of leather and cigarettes in the jacket. Eddie's scent... it filled you with something familiar and nostalgic.

Eddie shrugged, but there was a look on his face that said he was studying you. “If you hadn't gone on dates with idiots like that, you'd be sitting in your warm house and you wouldn't be cold,” he said, his eyes seeming to focus on a point on the horizon, but there was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“Even if I don't go on dates with idiots like that, I'm still being watched by stalkers somehow, right?” you said, tilting your head and mocking him slightly.

Eddie threw his hands up in the air. “I never watched your house. I'm not that kind of stalker, okay?” he said, the sarcasm in his voice a little defensive.

And then he continued. “Besides, you're lucky I was there. I don't want to watch stupid Josh get in your way again. He'll probably lose more teeth next time.”

You started laughing too, but at the same time you felt grateful that he was making such an effort to protect you. Eddie continued to walk beside you, occasionally glancing at you to make sure everything was all right.

“By the way,” he added after a while, ”it's all his fault that guy treated you the way he did. The way he spoke to you... It was unacceptable. If he tries to get close to you again, he'll find more than me.”

You felt your heartbeat a little faster at Eddie's protective attitude. Even after all these years, Eddie's devotion to you seemed unchanged. It was both frightening and strangely comforting.

When you came to a familiar corner of town, Eddie paused for a moment. “This is it, isn't it?” he said, nodding toward your house.

“Yes,” you said, nodding slightly. But you didn't want to say goodbye to him. There was something in you that wished this moment could last longer.

When the door opened, you were a little disturbed by the silence from inside. As you stepped inside you realized that Eddie was still waiting behind you. You turned to look at him and saw a hesitant look on his face.

“Anybody home?” Eddie asked, running a hand through the back of his hair and tugging at a lock of curly hair. It was an indication that he was a little nervous.

You shook your head from side to side. “No, no one's home. My family has been out of town for a few days. It's just me...” Your voice trailed off, but then you gathered your courage and continued. “If you want... you can come in and have a coffee. I mean... it's quite cold outside and you gave me your jacket.”

Eddie cocked his head and gave a light laugh. “I don't know, I don't want to be a bother. I mean... Tonight was weird enough...”

“Eddie,” you said, determination in your eyes. “It's just a coffee. Nothing weird. And... seriously, I'm not going to leave you out after you've helped me so much.”

Eddie hesitated for a few seconds, then shrugged and stepped through the doorway. “Okay, but just a coffee. I promise I won't bother you any more.”

“The kitchen is this way,” you said with a slight smile as you led him towards the kitchen.

Eddie was leaning against a corner near the counter, and you were putting the kettle on for the coffee. “Still drinking it with sugar?” you asked, your eyes flicking to his face for a moment.

Eddie smiled. “More of this 'do you drink with sugar' talk? You still don't recognize me?”

You laughed, this familiar conversation had taken you back to warmer and happier times in the past. Just as you reached for the sugar jar, Eddie bent down to pick up the glasses and your arms collided.

“Oh, sorry,” you said and stepped back slightly, but Eddie moved at the same time and you collided again.

Eddie put on his familiar wry smile. “I guess we're still pretty clumsy, like the old days.”

You rolled your eyes. “Well, it's your fault. You shouldn't have stood so close.”

But Eddie didn't answer. His eyes locked on yours for a moment, then his gaze slowly dropped to your lips. Suddenly the kitchen became a much warmer, much more intimate place. Your heart began to beat faster.

“Eddie...” you whispered, but your voice was barely a breath.

Eddie's hand was resting on the counter, his body pressed a little closer to yours. When his eyes refocused on yours, his expression was mixed. There was both eagerness and a kind of timidity.

“If you want to stop me...” he said, his voice low, almost a murmur. “Now is the time.”

But you didn't say anything. In fact, you didn't even know what to say. It was as if everything had stopped; all you heard was your own breathing and Eddie's approaching presence. Your eyes closed involuntarily as you felt his nose touch yours.

Finally... his lips lightly touched yours. It was so gentle that for a brief moment you wondered if it was real. But then Eddie's hand reached around your waist, pulling you to him, deepening the kiss. This kiss carried all the intensity of that moment, all the longing, all the emotions that had been hidden for years.

Your fingers involuntarily gripped the hem of Eddie's shirt. As you inhaled deeply, his scent - the faint smell of cigarettes, his leather jacket and that timbre you had always recognized - completely overtook you. For a moment the world was just that moment.

[moeswriting]

mine | 1. wondering why we bother with love

pairing: young!no-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

chapter summary: a regular day at work turns into the beginning of something joel never thought would happen to him again.

chapter warnings: joel is 22 and reader is 20, mentions of a bad marriage and teenage pregnancy, reader is described a small amount (has hair, able-bodied, wears feminine clothing, is going to school for secondary english education, has a heavily-detailed background), joel being the single dad™, southern banter and teasing, fluff, joel being a flirt, baby sarah being her dad's favorite, if i missed anything let me know

word count: 3.6k (future chapters will be longer)

a/n: good lord, this got some attention!!! i'm so fucking grateful for it. really excited for you guys to read this. hope you like it. lemme know what you think. any reblogs and likes are appreciated <3

series masterlist | next chapter ->

read this chapter on ao3

You were in college, working part-time waiting tables

Left a small town, never looked back

I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin'

Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

✦ ✦ ✦

October 1994

At seventeen-years-old, Joel Miller found out that his girlfriend was pregnant. It was startling and overbearing and horrifying and it made him want to scream at the sky, at God or whatever was up there and curse them for fucking up his life. He told Amanda that he was there for her, would do anything for her, but he was scared shitless.

At eighteen, he was holding a baby in the hospital with a ring on his left hand and thanking whatever was up there for bringing him a healthy baby girl to hold for the rest of his life. Maybe it was too soon, but as soon as he laid eyes on her, he knew. He knew he would love Sarah for the rest of his life and even beyond that. But, Amanda held her for a second and gave her back to him. He knew that she resented him– could tell by the way she fidgeted with the ring on her finger, pulling it off and then putting it back on, scowling at it when she thought he wasn’t looking. They moved into a small apartment near the college campus in Austin right before the baby was born. He could tell she hated that too. He knew he could grin and bear it, as long as Sarah got to have two parents.

At twenty, he came home from his job at the small diner across the street to their small apartment where his little girl was crying in her crib and a note sat on the counter that read, “I’m just not built to be a mother or a wife, Joel.” All of her things were gone. It was like she’d never been there at all.

That night, he held Sarah in his arms and cried. He watched her big, curious eyes as his tears ran down her face and soaked into her pink pajamas. He thinks maybe she knew what was going on– the toddler was always more ahead than he ever was. It only took a day for her to start begging for her mother, sobbing in Joel’s arms as he held her tight to his chest, hushing in her ear, trying to sing any lullaby he could think of. It took her two months to stop bringing her up at all.

By twenty-two, he’s a fully-functioning single dad. He has a stable job at the diner and does some contracting with his brother on the side. His mom helps him watch Sarah while he’s working– shows him pictures of her on her digital camera she insists on bringing with her everywhere when he gets back from work. There’s a wall in his kitchen dedicated to his favorites. He never stops thanking her for everything she does for him.

Sarah is growing beautifully. Her curly hair is a mess, but he’s trying his best to learn how to do it right. Amanda had always done it before– pigtails and braids perfectly set on her tiny head. But he finds that her thick hair is hard to tame on his own. He takes her to the salon downtown for them to do her braids whenever he can afford it. Her big brown eyes could make him do anything– she knows just how to work him with her wet, puppy dog stare and pouty lips. She’s up to his knees now. Everytime he comes home from work, she’ll run to him and crash into his calves and he can’t help but smile everytime she does it.

She’s his world, his everything.

It’s a Sunday morning. He always works Sunday mornings because the church crowd always tips well and today is no different. Sweat is dripping down his back from running around, and his brain feels like it’s split in half with all the orders stuffed in his head. The diner’s small enough that he’s only one of two servers working, despite how ridiculously busy it is, but he doesn’t mind. He can’t mind, really.

“Donald! Where’s my pancakes?”

The owner of the establishment’s balding head peaks out of the kitchen, as he yells back at him, “In your ass, Miller!”

“Hilarious,” he deadpans, pushing an order sheet back into the kitchen for Donald to grab, “Hurry it up, please. Mr. Cassini is starting to get hangry again.”

Donald laughs boisterously, “Oh, that old man is always angry!”

Joel waves him off, “Just do it, Don.”

“No problem, kid!”

He turns around and there’s a new patron sitting at one of his tables. A woman, body guarded, eyes on alert, evaluating the diner for the closest exits. You look scared, but only in the way that prey does when it knows it’s safe– waiting for the next predator to flash its teeth at your trembling form. Your hair is wet, as well as the tops of your shoulders, which are tucked into a large hoodie that swallows you. He didn’t realize it was raining. Your sneaker-clad feet are tucked under your legs, criss-cross-applesauce on the soft leather of the booth beneath you.

You’re beautiful.

Tapping his pencil against his order pad, he approaches you carefully. You look like you’ll run for the hills if he takes you by surprise. But, his tapping seems to alert you of his presence, as your head turns towards him. You watch him with a discerning look and fold your hands on your lap.

He pulls out the Southern charm his momma taught him, smile and all, hoping it might ease your cautiousness, “Hello, ma’am. Can I get you something to drink?”

You look surprised– eyebrows raised and eyes wide, like you didn’t expect him to talk. It’s odd, he thinks.

“Oh– uh–” you look down to the menu he placed in front of you upon his approach– “Iced tea?”

Just from your voice alone– and piled onto the fact that he knows everyone around here, and he’s damn sure he’s never seen a woman as pretty as you before– he knows you aren’t from around here. He has the sudden and all-consuming need to know everything about you. Why are you here? Who the hell are you?

“You need a lemon with that, sweetheart?” He can’t keep his eyes off you.

“Oh, no, no. Sugar is good enough for me.” As if to prove your point, you pull a couple packets of Sweet ‘N Low out of the small container at the end of the table and toss them next to the menu splayed out in front of you.

“Alright, darlin’. One iced tea comin’ up.” He pulls out a wink for you and walks away. He isn’t prepared to see the aftermath of his overconfidence. He really hopes you don’t run.

And he finds that you haven’t when he comes back with your iced tea in his hand. He places it down in front of you with a, Here you go, hon, and asks if you want anything to eat, and you decline. He rushes to get to his other customers. Tips are more important than the beautiful woman, he has to tell himself, but he finds that his eyes drift to you as you dump three pink packets of the sweetener into your tea and swirl it around. He shakes his head in amusement when you pull a book out of the backpack sitting next to you and start to read.

✦ ✦ ✦

When he comes back to check on you again, you’ve downed your glass of tea and you’re squinting your eyes as you write on the page of the book in front of you, underlining a passage you determine is worthy of note, not once, not twice, but three times. He thinks he sees the words ‘idealized love’ as he pours more tea from the pitcher he brought with him into your plastic cup.

“Whatcha readin’?”

Your eyes don’t even leave the page, pencil doesn’t cease writing as you reply, “The Great Gatsby.”

“Huh. Read that in high school. Kinda sad, ain’t it?”

You place your pencil down in the crease of your paperback, still reading, “I suppose so.”

It’s gone quiet in the diner now that the Church crowd has left, the sound of the jukebox in the corner the only background noise remaining. Only people here now are you and Mr. Cassini, but he’s preoccupied with Doreen, the other waitress on duty today. They’re flirting in the way that old people do, with shy smiles and boisterous laughter. He thinks he can take a quick break.

He sits down on the booth across from you and you look up at him for the first time since he came back to fill your tea.

“What’re you doing,” you ask– not in anger or annoyance, but just genuine confusion.

“Sittin’. This book for pleasure or school?”

You seem to accept his presence here with you as your new, temporary situation and put your bookmark– a pressed leaf– back in your book and close it shut. “School.”

He hums, disappointment dripping down his back, “You in high school then?”

Your eyebrows furrow before you seem to realize where he is drawing his conclusion from, “Oh! No, no. I’m studying to be an English teacher. We’re supposed to read this and come up with a fake lesson plan.”

Relief replaces the disappointment just as quickly as it had come.

“Huh. Interesting.”

You shrug, “I’d like to think so.”

He shuffles in his seat, pressing the cold leather against his sweltering back. “So, what– you gonna be a high school teacher?”

“I’m trying to. It’s hard work.” You pull out a few more packets of sweetener and pour them into your new cup of tea. He tries his best not to smile, but he can feel the corners of his lips pulling at his skin.

“Hard work is good for the soul– shows you got guts. That’s what my momma always says, anyways.”

You grin, “She sounds real smart, your mamma.” He hears you emulating his accent, teasing him for being so incredibly cliché, but he’s so focused on your blinding smile that he can’t even fight back.

“She is. She’s the best I could ask for.”

“Good. Everyone deserves a good mom,” you say, your smile almost turns sad as you say it. He wants to grab your face and beg you to tell him why what you said makes you sad, where’s your good mom that you deserve?

“Joel Miller, what are you doin’, sittin’ down? Get your ass up and clean some tables,” Donald yells from across the diner. Joel doesn’t even flinch– used to his sour attitude from almost four years of working here. But he watches you flinch, eyes going wide. You look warily over to Donald, assessing the situation, before you look back over to him.

You clear your throat, “It seems like you need to be getting to work, Joel Miller.”

You're teasing him again, but he can tell you’re nervous. He smiles, trying to calm your nerves as much as he can, and he thinks it works as he watches your shoulders relax slightly.

He chuckles, muttering to you conspiratorially, “Bitter old man, can’t see I’m trying to get myself a date over here.”

Your eyes flick down to your book and back up to him. Biting your lip, trying to suppress the smile he can see taking over your face, you reply, “Get back to work.”

“Alright, alright, sugar. I’m going,” he concedes, hands flying up in surrender.

The grin finally takes over your lips again and he swears he’s never seen anything more beautiful– besides his own baby girl’s smile. 

A name falls from your upturned lips.

“Huh?”

You laugh, opening your book back up and pulling yourself back into the story, “My name, Joel Miller.”

He repeats it back to you. It tastes like honey and sweetener on his tongue.

He wonders what you would taste like on his tongue.

“I’m getting off in 30 minutes.” An invitation.

You look back up at him. “Well, then, I guess I got another thirty minutes to read before you’re bothering me again.” You accept.

“I suppose you do.” He turns back to the counter and walks away. He can feel the pull to go back to you, to indulge himself in you further, but he needs the money and the extra $3 for the next thirty minutes could be the difference between his baby girl getting a full meal or not, and Donald has a nasty habit of not paying the full amount if he ain’t working, so he picks up a rag and gets back to work.

✦ ✦ ✦

Thirty minutes later, he’s pulling off his apron and bounding out of the backroom towards the table you’ve made a home of. He finds that you’ve packed up your things into your lavender bookbag, like you’re ready for whatever he throws at you– to go wherever he’s going to take you.

He wastes no time; he doesn’t want to be here anymore. “You wanna go on a walk?”

You nod your head eagerly. It seems you’re in agreement.

The pavement is a dark gray beneath your purple sneakers and his steel-toed boots, a pair his momma gave him for his 18th birthday. They’re good for work– sturdy, not too sweaty or uncomfortable. He wears them everyday. He wonders if you like cowboy boots, hopes you don’t find them tacky.

It’s still light out, around six in the afternoon. It stopped raining an hour ago, but the humidity still lies heavy in the air as the two of you make your way outside. It’s hot, but only in the way that Texas is in the middle of October. It’s comforting, like laying in front of a fire on a cold day.

He stuffs his hands in his jacket pockets. He wants to take your hand, can feel his fingers twitching with the exertion of forcing himself to stop. You don’t even know him– he doesn’t want to scare you off yet.

You look to him for directions and he tilts his head forward and down the street, starting your walk at a slow, but steady, pace.

Austin is busy this time of year, what with all the college students a month or so into their return for the fall semester. The bars they pass are full of drunk students on  full-weekend benders and loud music. Stupid decisions and disco lighting. Sometimes he’s glad he was able to avoid all that. Sometimes he misses having the option of making mistakes.

He clears his throat, “Where you from, darlin’?”

You smile, kicking a rock with the edge of your sneaker, “Oh, is it that obvious that I’m not a Texas girl?”

If the lack of the local accent and not recognizing you wasn’t enough, the way you held yourself would be the obvious give away to him– nervous, on-guard. He finds that people around here aren’t scared of being too loud or in the way of anyone or anything. It was plain to him that you couldn’t stand the idea of getting in anyone’s way.

“Kinda,” he chuckles.

You hesitate, looking away from him and to the uneven sidewalk below you both, like you’re trying to decide if you should lie to him or not.

“Seattle.”

That takes him by surprise, but he hopes it doesn’t show too much. What in the hell were you doing all the way down here?

So many questions left unanswered in the aftermath of you.

“Woah– long way from home, aren’t we?”

Your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “Yeah— yeah, I am.”

Home, family seem to be sore topics for you. He makes a note to avoid it.

“Never been to Seattle. In fact, I’ve never left Texas.”

Your eyebrows lift. “Really? Washington’s beautiful.”

“Lotsa rain, I hear.”

You let out a breath of amusement, “You hear correctly. It's one of the only things I miss about it. Texas isn’t exactly known for its rain.”

He snorts, “No, it ain’t. But, you got yourself some today. Bet that was nice.”

You nod. It’s a few moments of comfortable silence before you speak again.

“You from around here?”

He nods once, pushing his hands even further into his pockets in embarrassment, “Lived in Austin my whole life.”

“Joel Miller, you’ve gotta get out of Texas,” you laugh.

You’re beautiful when you laugh. Your smile lights up your whole face like the sun as you throw your head back towards the dreary sky, eyes crinkled by the pull of your cheeks.

He sighs lightly, “Yeah, ‘spose I do.”

You seem to realize something as you do a quick scan of your surroundings before you look back at him with narrowed eyes and a playful smirk.

“Miller, where are we going,” you draw out.

“Nowhere,” he mimics your drawn out syllables, “Just walkin’.”

You hum, “Hm, and I don’t suppose that nowhere is in the general direction of my college campus and that you may be ‘just walkin’ ‘ me to my dorm like the Southern gentleman you are?”

He chuckles, bashfully scratching the back of his neck, “Maybe.”

You pause, look him up and down, and then sigh, “Thank you, Joel.”

“It’s no problem, sugar.”

He lets you take the lead now that you’re approaching the campus, slowing his steps so he could keep up with you. You scrunch your eyebrows at the ground below you and pucker your lips, opening your mouth and then closing it again. When Sarah does that, he calls her ‘fishy’. He desperately wants to tell you about her, but he finds himself once again fighting the urge so he doesn’t scare you off. Not yet, he tells himself.

You look up at him again, eyes wide and biting your bottom lip, “Why do you keep calling me that?”

He’s staring. He knows he’s staring at your mouth, but he can’t help it. They’re like a siren song he can’t resist. He can’t think straight when you’re next to him. 

He shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts like an Etch-A-Sketch, “What?”

“‘Sugar’. Why do you keep calling me that?” You glance over at him, but quickly look back at the ground when you catch him staring at you. He can tell you’re flustered.

“Oh, well, I watched you pour three packets of sweetener in your tea like a maniac. So, I figured that was an appropriate nickname.”

You scoff, throwing your hands up in the air, a grin growing on your face, “Hey, that is a very appropriate amount of sweetener, thank you very much! I thought you Southerners adored your sweet tea.”

“Darlin’, if all us ‘Southerners’ drank three packets of sweetener with our iced tea, we would all be dying at a very young age.”

“Well then, I’ll die a very sugar-high and happy, young woman.”

He laughs– one of those real laughs that only his family can bring out of him. He can’t remember the last time he laughed like this in public.

“Y’know, if you’re gonna die young, sugar, I don’t know if it’s such a good idea that I do what I was about to do.”

You stop in front of the tall brick building in front of you, clicking your heels together, and playfully furrow your eyebrows again. You’ve reached your destination. This is goodbye. He doesn’t want it to be.

“And what were you about to do, Joel Miller?”

“Ask you on a date,” he smiles and you smirk, “But… if you’re planning on an early demise, darlin’, I don’t wanna get my heart broken.”

“And if I promised to cut back?” You’re approaching him quietly– two feet turning into almost chest-to-chest in a few agonizing seconds.

“Then, I’ll have to take you out to make sure you keep your promise– now, won’t I?”

He watches from the corner of his eye as you pull a piece of paper out of your hoodie pocket and stuff it in his own. The soft, fleeting feeling of your hand brushing his makes a shiver run down his spine. Your hand quickly retreats.

You look up at him with mischief in your eyes, “I guess you will.”

Before he can even blink or think or process, you're kissing his cheek with a tenderness he hasn’t felt in years– eyes closed and big grin plastered on your face. He knows he’s blushing; the heat is crawling up his face ruthlessly.

You pull away and start to walk toward your building. He lifts a hand to his face in hopes that you left something there, evidence that you were real, evidence that what just happened wasn’t a figment of his imagination. But all he can feel is his own stubble. He hopes it didn’t hurt your lips. Maybe he should shave when he gets home.

“Call me, Joel Miller,” you shout over your shoulder, grinning brightly.

“How,” he shouts back.

“Look in your pocket!” You point to your own in emphasis.

His eyebrows pull together as he pulls the paper out of his pocket and reads it. Ten digits sitting pretty in red at the top with your name sitting on the bottom, a heart colored in with purple highlighter drawn next to it.

He goes to tell you thank you, or declare something he’s not even sure of himself, but when he looks back up to the doors of your building, you’re gone. The only evidence that you were ever real sits in his hands like a promise.

He rushes home before his mom starts to worry about where he went. He can’t wait to tell her all about you.

series masterlist | masterlist of all masterlists

[sserajeans]

mine

kim minji x fem! reader

synopsis: you both knew love came with downhills, but neither of you thought it'd get that bad. you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter, and she's the best thing you could ever call 'mine'.

genre + others: non-idol reader x idol minji, goes over the ups and downs of their relationship, semi angst but fluff end TRUST ME

notes: (TW: implied suicide of minor character) , y/n has been through so much pls give her a break, idk if either of them were toxic, but they work around it bc love >>>, not requested, i was just listening to the album and got an idea that made my soul go WHOOSH hehe, THIS IS A VERY LONG ONE

WORD COUNT: 6.9k

you were in college, working part-time, waiting tables. left a small town, never looked back. i was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin', wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts.

you and minji were your friend group's favorite couple. almost anyone would agree, actually.

you met in high school when you transferred from a smaller, almost unknown town under a merit scholarship sponsored by the school. you were your family's pride and joy, the eldest daughter and older sister to two siblings. your parents weren't born with the same comfort they provided you and your siblings, or any comfort at all. it took a lot of work for them to get to where they were, and even then they still work day and night to give a life better than theirs for their children.

being born first, you witnessed everything. the blood, sweat, and tears your parents poured into everything; their failed start-up business, their multiple part-time jobs, and the low-paying wages they'd get in return. but above all this, you also saw how your parents did it all for love. love for you, love for their kids, love for the family they made. and so you swore, as an adorable 8-year-old, that you'd work your hardest and earn enough money to get your parents to rest comfortably once they were of age. you were raised in a struggling house, but a loving home. you knew love. you weren't a stranger to it. you loved love and the power it held.

minji, on the other hand, didn't. when you met her in your first year of high school, her parents had just signed divorce papers after her dad caught her mother cheating. she was only 16 at the time, and her parents were her role models of love. to her, they represented what love would, could, and should be. she believed in love, until she grew to hate it. she hated the way it hurt her father, she hated the way it hurt her, but most of all she hated the way it pulled her mother away from her. minji knew love. she wasn't a stranger to it. but she hated love and the power it held.

because of the stark difference you two had with your outlooks on love, it was a shock to everyone when the kim minji agreed to not just being your prom date, but to you courting her during your junior year of high school as well. 

“kim minji is this really you?” her best friend at the time, seol yoona, waved her hand in front of the raven-haired girl’s face. she was trying to finish an essay in english, one of their final requirements for the semester. “what’s different about park y/n?”

minji sighed and closed her notebook, finally facing the rest of her friends who sat crowded around her.

“look. she was nice to me at prom and she’s…” her friends’ eyes widened in anticipation. “cute, i guess.”

“oh come on minji that can’t be just it…”

“yeah you rejected like a quarter of the student population! i’m sure there were a few nice and cute ones!”

“they all…” minji started as she stood up from her desk and began packing her things in her backpack. “i’m just more comfortable with her, okay? we’ve been friends a while, and she’s patient about everything right now because she knows about…”

the rest of the table nodded their heads in understanding. there was no need for her to expound on that. 

meanwhile, in the complete opposite side of the school campus, was where you and your two closest friends ate lunch. under the shade of the courtyard’s largest tree.

"you're fucking playing with me..."

"i'm not! she said yes! she really did!" you exclaimed, mouth full of the school's spam and kimchi kimbap. 

"you better not mess this up y/n... you're like the first person i know of that she's ever said yes to." your other friend commented, playfully shoving your upper arm.

"do you guys not have like... the teeny-tiniest bit of faith in me?" 

they looked at you for a solid minute before nodding and shrugging. jokes aside, you were a selfless and caring person, and every one that has ever gotten to know you was sure of that.

and fair enough, by your first year of college which was also minji's first year as newjeans' leader, after almost 2 years of courting her, you asked her to have things official, and she said yes.

do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter. you are the best thing, that’s ever been mine.

it had been just over a year since you two started officially dating, and nothing much changed since you put a label on it. you were now in your second year of university, simultaneously maintaining a part-time job at a local restaurant. 

it didn’t take an idiot to know that dating an idol was hard. and it also didn’t help that your schedule wasn’t the most flexible either. there were even some days where minji had more time in the week to spend than you did. the both of you hated that, and it frustrated you two to the point where there were times you’d take it out on each other.so when you and minji had your first big argument, it was a shock to none of the peers who knew of your relationship.

you sighed deeply as you unlocked the door to your apartment. it was the middle of midterms week, and you had just finished an evening shift. you didn’t even want to think about studying for your calculus exam tomorrow, but you knew you had to if you wanted to keep your gpa up to the scholarship’s requirements.

“park y/n.” minji’s voice interrupted your brain’s train of thought. you were so busy trying to figure out the most efficient way to spend the rest of the time between the present and your exam. 

usually, minji’s voice calling your name would be warm and sweet. you talked about it to your friends one time, describing it as melted chocolate, and she gagged at how cheesy you were being. but god forbid you speak the truth.

but now, her voice was neither warm nor sweet. it was cold. it was cold and sharp. if you had the time to process it you’d probably describe it as ice shards, rather than melted chocolate.

you hesitated to face her, because you knew exactly why she was here in your apartment at 11pm in the evening instead of her dorms, fast asleep. you couldn't count how many times you cancelled a date last minute within the last month, and minji was tired of you not explaining properly.

you heard her stand up from the living room couch and walk towards you in the dining table. 

“what is it, minji?” you spoke, leaning your forehead against your palm as you brought out school textbooks and worksheets.

“what do you mean ‘what is it, minji’? you know why i’m here, y/n.” 

she wasn’t lying. again, you knew why she was here with you, which is why you dreaded the conversation that was about to come.

“this is the 4th date you’ve cancelled this month without telling me why. if you wanted to break up i’d much rather you tell me directly…” the last sentence felt like a stab to your chest. the cold and sharp dagger that was her words, taking one large hit.

“what the fuck? no, okay! no i don’t!”

“then for the love of god would you at least tell me why you’re being so fucking distant?!” 

you kept silent. eyes avoiding hers as you internally debated on whether you wanted to burden her with your struggles or not.

“see? you can’t even say it.”

“fucking hell. my sister is sick, minji.” 

you let out a shaky exhale as you spoke, finally gathering the courage to face her.

“she has pneumonia. she’s sick. she’s in the hospital. and i-“ you cut yourself off as tears made its way down your face. the cold exterior on minji’s face dropped almost immediately at the sound of your voice breaking. your breathing remained shaky as you tried your best to verbalize everything that has been piling up over the past few weeks.

“medical insurance isn’t enough to cover it. my parents are working endlessly, but they’re getting older and i don’t want them to overwork themselves or they could get sick too, so i asked if i could pick up more shifts at the restaurant because that’s really all i can do right now. it just breaks my heart whenever i visit her because she’s always telling me that she’s sorry for causing trouble when none of it was her fault. and fuck, as if it doesn’t get any worse it’s midterms week, and if i fail just one exam it’s enough to bring my gpa down for the school to drop me.”

you gasped for air.

the girl sat beside you and rubbed your back, reaching over for your water bottle and offering it to you. you muttered a thanks as you gulped down half of the water inside and gave yourself a few seconds to speak again.

“and i know what you’re thinking. ‘why didn’t you tell me? i could’ve helped.’ but minji please. you’re an idol. you’re a celebrity. fuck, you’re the leader of one of the biggest group’s right now. you have enough on your plate. i don’t want to add to that.”

minji nodded to show you she was listening despite not saying anything since you started letting it out.

"let's take a walk." 

you were shocked by the suggestion, and minji could tell. she would be too.

“but won’t people recogn-“

"more air to breathe, more space to think. come on." she got your coat for your and brought your most comfortable pair of shoes over.

you weren't agreeing, but you also weren't objecting the idea. from what could've been a fight to this, you were just glad you had the warm minji with you right now.

she dragged you along by the hand, just a few steps ahead of you. it didn't take too long until you two found yourselves sitting on the park bench facing a small river. it wasn't too far away, just a couple meters from your apartment building.

“can i ask you something, y/n?” there it was. the warmth, the sweetness in her voice. 

she turned to face you. “do i bother you when i tell you about my problems? when i talk to you about how i worry for haerin not opening up, or when i tell you about how hanni might’ve bothered me on a certain day. does that burden you?”

you looked up at her shaking your head, your eyes still red and puffy. 

“w-what? no. never. i like that you let me know. i like knowing you have some type of output for it."

"well if it doesn't burden you then what makes you think you'd burden me?"

you slowly looked away, eyes busy gazing the clear water and the rocks that laid under.

she moved to wrap her right arm over your shoulders, and slowly reached for your left hand to hold if you'd let her. after all, she didn't expect to be comforting you when she planned on seeing you.

"i may be an idol. i may be a celebrity. i may be newjeans' minji a lot of the time. but i'm also your girlfriend, park y/n. the one you met in high school whose life you changed forever the day you asked me to prom." you leaned against her when she pulled you closer as she spoke.

"i stopped believing in love when my parents split. remember when i told you that? but you were there every step of the way. you understood, and you were fine with waiting." minji took a pause to make sure you were still with her, listening. 

your eyes were heavy, but your brain couldn’t be more alive. 

“y/n, i don't want to be the person that makes their partner feel like they can't talk to them. let me be there for you too, okay? i may not be able to do a lot to fix it, but i'll be there because you shouldn't be facing things alone. not when you have me."

you nodded, letting out the last of your tears on her shoulder while she ran her fingers through your hair. 

“so next time, please, please tell me what bothers you.”

you never gave a clear response, just your sobs slowing down as she held you. minji would later on regret not noticing this.

a few minutes later, after you calmed down, you pulled away to finally fix your eyes on hers.

"thank you. and i still owe you an apology. for how i was the past couple of weeks.”

“you really don’t have to y/n.”

“well, you say that now after i told you. but what i did was still such… an ass move, and i should’ve told you what was going on because you deserved to know with the way it affected you too.”

minji gave you a smile. a small smile that held the largest emotions a human could ever feel. she leaned against your side, head on your left shoulder with her arm around your waist.

“it’s okay…”

“i love you.”

three words. eight letters. the first time it was ever said between the two of you. 

on the inside, you were a little shocked. if your relationship was a sports game, no one would bet on minji saying it first. but she did. and that just made those special words mean a little more than they already did.

you wrapped your left arm around her shoulders and rested your head on hers, giving the top of her head a kiss before saying it back.

“i love you too.”

flash forward and we’re taking on the world together. and there’s a drawer of my things at your place.

a couple months later, you felt on top of the world, and so did minji. you found a higher paying stay-at-home job, your sister got better miraculously quick, and your grades were stellar. for minji, newjeans had just released another hit mini album, and it was played everywhere you went. in the store, at the mall, on tiktok, on the radio. everywhere.

eventually, you two found a free spot on both of your schedules, and used it to have sleepovers at your apartment or her dorm. she’d always prefer staying at yours though. one of the few times you stayed at hers, the second you left, hanni and hyein were teasing her endlessly about… well, usual couple stuff.

this night was one of those sleepover nights. the two of you just finished dinner and were cuddling on the sofa, trying to decide on a movie to watch.

“mean girls?”

“didn’t we watch that last week?” minji reasoned out, looking at you with a questioning face.

“uhm… horror?”

“i don’t mind.”

you hummed and browsed through the horror collection your streaming site had. it took you a while to find a movie, you and minji each always had a minor problem with whatever came up.

“oh hey this one looks fun. zom-“

“did i ever tell you the full story of my parents?”

“ha?”

you looked at her with a rather surprised expression on your face. sure, she’s told you all about being a child of divorced parents and how it affected her. but you never bothered to ask more about it in fear of her discomfort.

“well… no. i wanted you to bring things up at your own pace.”

it felt like a silent agreement that maybe you two were going to drop the movie for a little “deep talk” moment.

“my dad went m.i.a., well, sort of did, on my mom.” she began, you sat cross-legged beside her, reaching for her hand to play with while she muttered a quick ‘thanks’. it was your little show of comfort. 

her parents was a subject that you two didn’t bring up very often. she’d mention them once in a while, like when you were preparing a dish that reminded her of her mom’s cooking, or when you came over to help fix hyein’s bike like her dad used to do for her. but it was never in the subject of the divorce. you two always had more to talk about when you were together anyways.

“he lost a lot of the money in their savings, and he’d never talk to my mom about it thinking he could cover it up soon enough. mom was convinced he was cheating and was sending money to another girl. even after my dad explained everything she just… went and did what she did. until he caught her and… well, you know the rest.”

minji was surprisingly calm throughout the whole storytelling. you figured it must’ve been from keeping it in for so long, finally letting the old wounds heal.

“wow…”

“yeah, ‘wow’.”

“i’m sorry, i just…” you paused and grabbed her other hand, holding them both closely within your palms. “do you think if your dad was honest from the beginning things would’ve been different?”

“i-… well…”

“nevermind, sorry that was int-“ you dropped her hands and ran yours through your hair, the other covering your mouth in disbelief.

“no no, it’s okay.” she reached for your hands and they were intertwined once again. “i think things would’ve turned out the same. it probably would’ve just… took a longer time.”

“i guess… since your mom practically ignored your dad after he explained…”

“yup. i believe things happen for a reason.”

“really? i’m 50/50 on that.” you looked up at her with a questioning look.

“well, for one, it led me to you.” she gazed in your eyes, her hands soft and gently cradling yours side to side. you looked at her with amazement. since when was she making the moves with all the cheesy lines?

“okay… so i’m not 50/50… maybe 70/30.” “dork.” “your dork?” “…” “sayyy it…” “…” “you know you wanna…”

“my dork.”

“hehehe…” 

with a victorious grin on your face, you pinched her right cheek, something she both hated and loved. rolling her eyes, she positioned herself to lay her head on your crossed legs while your hands automatically fixed her hair to keep her face clear.

“god you’re so-“

“lovable? i know… it’s crazy.”  

“well…”

“oh, we were serious?”

“yes, seriously, y/n. there are times i think about that night by the river.”

“that night by the river…”

“when i told you i believed in love again, after my parents. because of you.” she opened her eyes and looked up at you like you were a constellation in the night sky. eyes wide and full of wonder.

“i know what you’re talking about, i didn’t forget, don’t worry.” you smiled, tucking a strand of hair that went astray behind her ear.

“when things get hard i think of that night, and how… i don’t know. you know that feeling when something means so much, and it’s so good, feels so right, almost too perfect, you’re just scared it’ll slip away?”

“mmhm. of course. that’s how i felt about this book i was reading. things were going so well at the beginning, like it wa-… continue though.”

“sometimes i’m scared we’ll slip away.”

“what?!”

“i mean like! it’s just a tiny… irrational fear in the back of my head.”

“ell… good thing that won’t happen!”

“how are you always so sure about things?”

i tell my secrets and you figure out why i’m guarded. you say,

“i get why you’re worried, okay? but we’ll never make your parents’ mistakes.”

she sat up straight to give you a proper hug, or, well, she more or less just threw herself on you. not that you were complaining, you loved her bear hugs.

“you and i… we talk things out. we work well that way, right?”

“yeah.”

“i love you. and thank you for letting me love you.”

“i love you too. so so much.”

and we got bills to pay. we got nothing figured out, when it was hard to take, this is what i thought about. 

throughout your relationship, you two came across a couple, or well, several bumps along the road. but it was always something you two had dealt with before. even if it wasn’t, you were beginning to feel comfortable sharing the weight you carried on your shoulders with minji; talking about the usual late night shifts, a terror professor, etc.

communication was one of the last things your relationship with minji lacked.

until one fateful evening, you received a phone call from your brother. one you wished you never had to hear. one no one ever deserved to hear. 

before he spoke, something about it already felt wrong. the combination of muffled sirens, crying from who you surely knew was from your sister, and conversation between who you assumed were adults, was straight eery. a shiver ran down your spine, realizing the nature of the news.

and you were right. 

you could feel your hand shake as he spoke with a stutter,

“noona… it’s about… about d-dad… h-he… he… did it to hims-himself… he-he w-went out… and to-told us not to follow. a-and, and then we- we heard… we heard a r-really… r-really loud noise… n-noona… wh-when… when are you coming b-back?”

what?

who?

how?

your father. he shot himself in your neighborhood’s park.

and you’ve yet to understand why. why he’d choose to abandon his family. why he suddenly switched from the hardworking man who’d endure hell for his family, to a man who chose to escape his troubles.

after consoling your brother and the rest of your family on the phone, you packed your bags and took a taxi the next day. heading straight back to your hometown, a much smaller and rural area compared to the skyscraping city of seoul. 

you ran straight to your parents’ room as soon as you arrived, your bags dropped and forgotten by the conjoined living room and kitchen. there was no time to reminisce the warmth, comfort, and love that came with the childhood home you haven’t seen in years. 

as soon as you stepped foot in your parents’ room, your younger sister, who was much taller than the last time you saw her, ran straight into your arms, almost knocking you over. it didn’t take long for your younger brother to follow, his added weight finally pushing you to fall butt first to the fortunately, carpeted floor.

you rubbed their backs as soothingly as you possibly could while they started dampening your shirt with tears. in a way, having them in your embrace comforted you the same way you comforted them. you shed your own fair share of tears, hugging them even tighter when they’d take deep breaths and wail.

you also needed to process whatever the hell just happened.

a few minutes later, once your siblings had calmed down, you slowly stood up from the floor and approached your mother who was sorting out papers on what used to be your parents’ shared bed. the mattress dipped as you sat beside her. you wrapped your arms around her frame, giving her a warm hug. 

her pain was silent, and you wished it wasn’t so you’d at least know she had an output, but at the same time, you both knew she held it together for your siblings’ sake. she gave your forehead a kiss and ruffled your hair, muttering a soft “you’ve been eating well.” 

she was just happy to see her baby home.

the next couple of days were dull and grey. it was the only word you could use to describe it. your mother would head out to deal with government papers, your siblings stayed at home with modular work as permitted by the school after what had happened, and you picked up a small full-time job at a bakery as a cashier.

in a private conversation with your mother, late at night when your siblings were fast asleep, she explained to you the law of debt and inheritance in simple terms. it was difficult, but most definitely much needed for you to at least grasp understanding on why your father did what he did. 

“i know what your first thoughts were going to be. and he wasn’t being a selfish person, y/n. he never was and he never will be. in this province specifically, debt isn’t passed down to your heirs. your father… he… he borrowed a lot of money, y/n. and we thought we could pay it back over the agreed 3 years. it was taking longer than expected, and they began looking for your dad with threats that… i’d rather not share with you.”

“wait what? what about the money i’ve been sending? did it help? did you use it?”

“of course we did, y/n. we don’t want your hard work going to waste. we used it for yoonseo and junseo’s tuition. there was an increase that wasn’t in our… scope.”

“fucking school…”

“hey… listen. do you understand things a little better now?”

“…yes.”

“repeat to me what you understand.”

“dad… didn’t want them coming after me… us.”

“yes.”

“i… i don’t understand how you’re so… calm about it right now, ma. did you know? did he tell you he would?”

“he didn’t. we fought about it, actually. i couldn’t believe all that… nonsense he was saying.”

“oh… i’m sorry. i’m sorry i thought he-“

“it’s okay, y/n. and i know you. i know you, yoonseo, and junseo. it’s okay to not be okay right now. i want you to feel that. let it out. cry, scream, take a walk, do anything. let the pain pass through. i’ll be here to make sure you’ll be alright.”

“but we want to be here for you too ma…”

“you will be there for me when you feel better. but right now, you’re my children, and i’m your mom. i want to make sure you’re okay first.”

and for the rest of the night, you silently wept against your mother’s shoulder as she held you tight against her chest, the same way she did the day you were born. you were always your mother's child at the end of the day.

since the day you left til that night, your focus was on yourself and your family. comforting your siblings when your mom couldn’t, helping around the house, and searching for more jobs dirt-paying jobs you could take, for you didn’t care as long as it’d help fill the gap your father left.

your focus was solely on the grief held over yourself and your family, that somehow, you had completely forgotten about your life in the city.

the life with kim minji in it.

on her side of the world, minji was struggling. newjeans was still a popular and well-received group with global success, but their growth was exceeding expectations, and that meant that the hate wave had only gotten stronger.

as their leader, minji was the supporting pillar, the foundation of sanity for the rest of the girls. when one of them had the need to cry or rant, they’d go to her, and she’d hold that responsibility willingly out of love and care for them.

but newjeans’ leader minji, is human. 

newjeans’ leader minji, is kim minji. 

a 20-year-old girl facing the world’s backlash and carrying the weight of her members’ hurt alongside her own on her back.

she wasn’t meant to deal with all of that alone.

where was kim minji’s supporting pillar? where was her foundation of sanity? 

where were you?

where were you when she needed you the most?

and i remember that fight, 2:30 am, ‘cause everything was slipping right out of our hands. i ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street. 

things have calmed down a bit. you and your family decided it was best for you to go back to the city as it was where you’d earn the most for your work. you hated saying goodbye to them, especially at a time where it was best where you were all together. but you and your family didn’t have the luxury of choice. you and your family couldn’t afford to lose the opportunity.

on the 2-hour long taxi ride home, you finally decided to charge your phone. you hadn’t realized how you completely deserted it the moment you arrived at your childhood home. leaving it on the car seat, you decided to take a nap to get rid of the headache that was building up. whether it was from the anxiety of being away from your family after what happened, or the pressure of having your family’s financial support come mostly from you, you needed an escape, even if it was just for 2 hours.

you weren’t sure how or what you felt. you knew most would be sad. grief-struck and lost. and you did feel that in a way, when your family held a small ceremony at the memorial center because it was all you could afford. it was just you, your mom, your siblings, and a few neighbors who knew your parents.

that was the hardest you ever let yourself mourn, the loudest you ever let yourself cry, and after that, you felt empty. your chest and your stomach ached, but there was nothing else to feel. your head, on the other hand, felt heavy. like it was rammed against a cement wall and forced to carry the weight of hardbound books. 

the moment you picked yourself up from your wallowing in sorrow, the weight of responsibility crashed into you all at once. like being thrown anvils to carry on your back, every step you took wherever you went. your father wasn’t just one of your family’s sources of income, he also stood as a figure of support for your siblings and your mom while you were away. you were angry at him for leaving you, but you beat yourself around into understanding that it wasn’t an escape.

it was about 2am by the time you arrived at the small apartment complex. an inconvenient decision that may have seemed senseless, but before you insisted in spending as much time as you could with your family before you were required to report to work the next day.

and so here you were, backpack in hand, unlocking the door to your apartment late at night.

seeing the living room and kitchen lights on alarmed you. you were sure you turned everything off before you left. your electricity bills were going to be horrendous that month.

you settle your bag down on the floor and bent over to untie your shoes.

“oh… you decided to come back?”

that voice.

kim minji.

hearing her voice again felt fresh. but it felt fresh for only one reason.

you ignored her the whole time you were away. you didn’t tell anyone anything, not even you friends in the city.

minji’s tone was firm. it wasn’t sharp and cold like the time she came over to confront you about missing your dates.

it was firm, but it was also vulnerable. the night she confronted you her voice lacked all the emotion in the world. tonight, it was full of it. you couldn’t tell if she was worried, angry, disappointed, sad, maybe everything and in between.

“where were you?”

there it was. the burning question of the night. 

unlike last time, minji didn’t bother approaching you. she stayed seated on the living room couch, her head turned to face you at the front door.

“minji, listen. i-“ you walked towards her, approaching the living room couch with caution from what you could pick up in her voice.

“y/n i was in pain… did you know that? the past few weeks have been horrible… and before i can even begin to talk about why, i have to worry about whether you were even alive or not!”

“i’m sorry! okay, i’m sorry!”

you were defensive, and it came out like you were throwing around apologies for a band-aid solution, when that really wasn’t the case. you just didn’t have it in your heart to tell her what happened.

“we had to cancel 2 fansigns because of threats we were getting, did you even know that, y/n?”

no, you didn’t. you weren’t aware of how far your girlfriend’s career had gone for the group to be receiving that kind of treatment. even before your dad passed.

“…no.”

“and that’s just… the tip of the fucking iceberg… so i ran here thinking i’d find you. because, y/n, i know for a fact you’re my safe place. but you weren’t even fucking there…”

“i’m sorry…” you muttered, your hands clasped together as you stood in front of her.

“you weren’t answering calls, you weren’t responding to texts. from me or any of the girls! i asked my manager to get in contact with your coworkers! fuck, i even asked some of our high school friends… but none of them knew where you were! do you know how sick my stomach felt?” she looked up at you with tears in her eyes. one of the few times you’ve ever seen her cry, and somehow, it always had something to do with you.

it made you feel sick.

“i’m so sorry…”

“and before you fucking arrived, for a moment i really thought you were going to just leave everything like my dad.”

after all the pain she’s shared with you?

“minji i-“

“but a part of me knew, or wanted to know you’d never do that. like you said, ‘we’d never make my parents’ mistakes’. but in that moment it felt like you did. like we did.”

“i’m sorry… i wasn’t thinking…”

“i think we need a fucking break y/n.”

she stood up.

what?

“w-what? minji what do you mean w-why a-“

“this isn’t the first time you just disappeared on me, don’t you get it? the first time it happened i had to confront you because otherwise you’d just let it slide and it’d probably happen again within the next few months.”

she walked to the dining room, away from the living room. it was closer to the apartment entrance.

“that’s not true.”

“when i told you about my parents, it was because i thought i had finally found something different with you.”

“and we did! we are! we’re not like them…”

she stood by the door, hand on the knob.

“you keep disappearing on me, y/n. i don’t know what to believe anymore.”

and just like that, she dropped the spare keys to your apartment on your kitchen counter, and left your apartment unit. 

you knew better than to let her go. you knew better to let the love of your life go. you knew better than to let her, a celebrity, run out in the middle of the night, with no security, and god knows who or what out in the streets of the area you stayed in.

braced myself for the goodbye, ‘cause that’s all i’ve ever known. 

for minji, she had no idea what she was doing, but she knew couldn’t take another second in your damned apartment. the apartment she stayed in the weeks she was waiting for you to come back. it reminded her of the times she felt like her mom, desperately waiting for her dad to come back to her. it reminded her of how she felt like her dad during the first month of the divorce, and how he kept his hopes high telling her and her brother that things would get better because their mom would always come back, when she didn’t. she hated that apartment because it reminded her of why she hated love. why she stopped believing in love.

she hated that apartment because it was yours, and you showed her how to believe in love again, and you made her believe you two would be different. 

if that was so, then why did you leave her feeling like things were going to end the same way her parents did?

she couldn’t take it anymore. how could she fully commit to someone who’d leave her out of the loop. someone who can’t at least try to share part of their world with her. someone who, after seeing all the sides and versions of her, could still get up and leave without a word.

you cursed under your breath for minji being so long-legged. it didn’t take long for her to get to your apartment building’s lobby, but timing was by your side. for once, it felt like maybe the world wasn’t against you.

the scene was cinematic. you grabbed her wrist from behind her, and pulled her by the arm, back towards you. back to you where you knew she belonged.

“i’m sorry, and i promise i’ll tell you everything. and i know i left with no warning, no sign. i know that it was best to tell you. but i promise i wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t something as serious as that.”

you gently reached over to hold her other hand in yours. hopefully it was enough to not have her run away again.

“i don’t know how many sorry’s i have left in me, but whatever that amount is, i know, won’t be enough. but please, minji, i’m begging you now, please don’t leave. i know it’s been hard, it’s been difficult for me too. fuck, it’s been hell the past few weeks and not a single second of it has felt real, but i need you. i need you to stay.”

you took a deep inhale. you hadn’t realized you weren’t breathing throughout your mini speech. 

“because right now it feels like i’ve lost everything, and i can’t take it if i lost you. and i know… i know, i sound like a guilt-tripping asshole right now but that’s really... you mean a lot. you mean so much… you mean so fucking much to me, minji, and i know that’s not what you felt when i disappeared, but it’s the truth, and i-“

your legs gave in. you were exhausted, but you weren’t going to stop until you knew she’d stay.

you knelt on the floor, in front of her, holding her hands above your head.

god, you looked so ridiculously desperate. but you didn’t care. not an inch of your body felt a bit of shame. you knew minji was worth everything you had.

“i love you. i love you. i love you so much. and i don’t know how else to say this without sounding like a fucking asshole, but i know you love me too, and i just need you to hear me out, before you decide to leave. and if you still want to go after, then i-. i wouldn’t blame you, and i’d let you, but please… please.” you whispered out the last of your words, your sobs echoing through the empty, dim-lit lobby.

she’d never seen you like this before. 

not once in the several years of being your friend or your girlfriend.

and you were right, she loved you so much. just as much as you did her.

and that was enough for her to listen.

“get up.” she spoke so softly, you could’ve missed it if you weren’t listening for any response.

you scrambled, shuffled onto your feet, and finally came face-to-face with the girl you loved.

it took everything in you to not hold her, kiss her, and comfort her, when you knew you were the cause of her pain and suffering.

but if god made angels roam earth, you were convinced minji was one of them.

she almost catapulted towards you, causing you to stumble backwards until your back met a wall. your arms automatically wrapped around her waist, like it was second nature, or maybe because it was.

you heard her sobs, and you ran your fingers through her hair like she’d do for you. rub her back comfortingly like when you held your siblings in your arms, her tears dampening your clothes the same way theirs did.

you let her be, and waited patiently until she decided to speak. her face rested against your shoulder so her voice was slightly muffled, 

“i thought you’d leave.”

you felt your chest tighten in guilt.

“i thought i did something wrong, or that you were tired of me. tired of dating someone with a job like mine, packed up, and left.”

then, you took me by surprise. you said,

“i’m sorry i made you feel that way.”

you kissed the top of her head and rested your cheek against it.

“never again. i promise, and i say it out loud this time.  i’ll never leave you alone.”

[buckseb]

mine

pairings — rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary — in which, when rafe attempts to start over, he finds a mysterious girl who leaves him more and more curious about her after they meet. based on the song mine by taylor swift!

word count — 6.6k.

warnings — rafe left home and is more mentally stable and trying to be better, angst, fluff, reader has a bad past and family issues, use of pet-names [princess, baby, angel, sweetheart], hugs from the back, neck kisses, picnic dates, slight hints and mentions of fireworks and fourth of july, forehead kisses, forehead touches, kisses, rafe refers to reader as his girl a few times, reader calls rafe by his last name a few times, mentions of bills, arguments and fights, slight mentions of both of them getting mean in the fight, rain conversations, reader's big abandonment and trust issues are heavily mentioned, the reader and rafe get an unexpected and harsh visit from her parents, big mentions and hints of mental health, mentions and hints of rafe's dad's abuse in the past, reader has an episode and she has one with a panic episode with it, big mentions of reader and rafe visiting the obx and him being on good terms with sarah and the pogues because i wanted peace in this, mentions of rafe going back to college and working at a cafe.

notes — i've been wanting to do this one for a while, so here it is! gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

main masterlist

EVERYONE WANTS A FRESH START.

in this case, this means two polar opposites from completely different worlds.

all rafe wanted to do, was leave his life and past in outer banks behind — as far as he was concerned, the old rafe was gone.

after taking consequences for his actions and getting some much needed help, rafe moved out of his dad’s house and went back to college.

"ah-ah, ah-ah. ah-ah, ah-ah."

then, he got his life together and was ready enough for a job.

“you were in college, working part-time, waiting tables. left a small town, never looked back. i was a flight risk with a fear of fallin’, wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts.”

as great as it was that rafe was finally settled in the old town of charleston, things were about to change.

he was working, and one day, a girl — a very mysterious one, might i add — decided to stop at the cafe for some peace and quiet. 

it wasn’t the first time a girl — or girls, if i’m being completely honest — stopped there.

in fact, loads of girls stopped there daily, most usually only stopping by to fawn over rafe.

but, he didn’t pay any mind to the attention — he was used to getting attention from girls from his experience as a kook back in outer banks.

and honestly? none of the girls that he’d seen stop at the cafe ever intrigued him or left him speechless.

well, at least until he met her.

there was something different about [y/n] — she had a certain distant emptiness to her.

she was reserved and quiet and shy, almost always making sure to do everything right, in fear of everything crashing down on her.

as she walks over to a table and sits down and opens up a book from her bag, rafe glances up and it’s as if time stops when their eyes make contact, despite how cheesy and corny that sounds.

he couldn’t believe his eyes — she was beautiful, of course.

but, she had that kind of side of her that he could tell she didn’t think it herself.

an easy-going smile is thrown her way as he makes his way over to her table, trying to ignore the shocking nerves coming from him.

“hi. would you like something to drink?” he asks in a surprisingly calm tone as he pulls out his notepad and pen, awaiting her answer.

looking up anxiously, she gulps, trying not to let the intimidation of the gorgeous man in front of her get to her.

“could i just get some water?” she murmurs so softly that rafe almost doesn’t even hear her.

he nods, watching her curiously. “sure. will that be all for your order?” he questions, raising a brow at her.

as she notices the way he’s watching her, like he’s seeing right through her ‘i’m fine’ facade and her soul, she nods shakily as a shiver rushes through her spine.

“y—yes. thank you.” she mumbles as he nods and says something about her water being out as soon as possible and puts away his pen and notepad.

but, as he walks back to get her water, he turns around and looks at her once more, this time noticing the scared look in her eyes — it's obvious that there’s more to her than she's revealing.

“i say, ‘can you believe it?’ as we’re lyin’ on the couch. the moment, i could see it. yes, yes, i can see it now.”

with a content sigh, [y/n] moves into rafe’s welcoming arms.

as she lays her head on his chest, his chin resting on top of her head, he wraps his arms around her and a sense of calmness — something neither of them have ever felt in their entire lives — fills their hearts.

it was just them, lying on his couch in the living room of his apartment, relaxing.

it’d been a few weeks, after he’d gotten her number and asked her out on a date — they’d been on countless dates, even though she was a little hesitant to get involved with him because of her past.

and now, they're almost completely comfortable around each other.

although, both rafe and [y/n] still have doubts and hesitance on whether this new and recent relationship will work, or even whether they can let their guards down around and let each other in.

but as they hold each other for a moment longer, a startling thought pops into [y/n]’s head and it causes a shaky breath to leave her lips.

noticing the change in her, rafe moves his chin away from her head and angles his head in a way that helps him see her face completely. he also notices her tearful gaze.

“hey… what’s wrong?” he questions, brushing her hair out of her face.

another sigh later, and she’s shaking her head and waving him off. “i—i’m fine. don’t worry about me.” her voice breaks and trembles, causing him to lift her chin up, in order for her to look at him in the face.

he gives her a pointed look, hoping it’ll coax her into telling him what’s wrong.

with another sigh, she finally voices her thoughts, “i just realized that i’m still scared that you’ll find something wrong with me — that you don’t like — and will either hurt me or leave me… ” she trails off, some of the tears actually escaping her hurt eyes.

realization hits him as his eyes soften. “i’m not going to leave or hurt you, okay? let’s just see how this goes.” he murmurs seriously, rubbing a comforting hand over her arms to soothe the upset mood she's in.

sighing once more, she nods, before snuggling further into his embrace, eyes closing.

“do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter. you are the best thing, that’s ever been mine.”

loud giggles leave her lips as he playfully chases her into the water.

“rafe! n—no! don’t you dare think about doing what i think you’re about to do!” [y/n] exclaims, noticing the mischievous glint in his eyes as she holds a hand up in the air.

he smirks in amusement.

then, he runs toward her — despite, her moving back every time he gets closer — and grabs her, lifting her up and running further into the water, before throwing her into the deeper part of the water.

she goes under for a moment, before eventually coming back up.

“r—rafe!” she exclaims, coughing a bit, since some water went into her nose and mouth when she went under.

she glares at him, shivering and trying to remain upset with him.

but then, he breaks into that smile — you know which one, the one that would make any girl’s heart swell — and her pissed-off resolve starts to fade away.

then, he laughs.

“you’re so cute when you try to act mad.” he murmurs, moving closer to her as she moves to stand up, still shivering.

she groans, a smile trying to desperately make its way onto her face.

“rafeeee! you can’t say stuff like that… ” she mumbles, full-on blushing now.

he chuckles at her reaction, before moving his hands up her arms in a repetitive motion, in order to warm her up better.

then, he moves his arm to put around her shoulder and starts walking closer to the shore with her.

as they finally sit back down on the towel, that’s near the water,          [y/n] snuggles further into rafe’s chest, a content sigh leaving her lips as she begins to feel at peace.

“thank you.”

“for what?” rafe looks down at her, eyebrows furrowing as he becomes confused on what she’s thanking him for.

[y/n] hesitates for a second. “for showing me how to live life without me feeling like i don’t deserve it.” she murmurs quietly, her voice coming out small.

after hearing her statement, realization hits rafe of what she means — she's talking about her old home life, before she moved away from her family.

her father was a workaholic and not the best person in the world, always snapping at her and her mother.

not only that, but her family was always, always fighting.

and she was always the blame when it came to her family defending their actions — she never got to live the life she deserved.

but now, she can. with rafe.

“of course. you deserve to live your life to the fullest and to always be happy, okay?” he murmurs softly before placing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“flash forward and we’re taking on the world together. and there’s a drawer of my things at your place. you learn my secrets and you figure out why i’m guarded. you say you’ll never make my parents’ mistakes.”

rafe watches in concern as [y/n] struggles to get off of the phone with her family — a family she honestly wants nothing to do with.

with a heavy sigh, she finally hangs up, before making her way over to the kitchen’s table.

“god… ” she mutters, wiping away the fresh tears away from her cheeks.

“angel, what’s going on?” rafe murmurs, moving to sit beside her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

[y/n] sighs, refusing to look him in the eye — she knows that the second she looks at him, the truth will come tumbling out.

though, rafe doesn’t take offense to this and simply waits for when she’s ready to talk.

and when she does finally look over at him, the tears fall and the stuttering and trembling statements of the truth come out.

rafe’s eyes soften as he calmly and patiently listens to her.

“princess, i hope you know that i would never hurt you like your parents. and i’ll never hurt you the way your dad hurt your mom.” he murmurs seriously, moving his hand to cup one of her cheeks.

“you p—promise?” she trembles, more tears falling.

he nods. “always.”

then, he pulls her in for a hug, allowing her to let everything out.

“but we got bills to pay. we got nothing figured out, when it was hard to take. yes, yes, this is what i thought about.”

she lets out a light giggle when she feels those familiar arms wrapping around her waist as she continues to try to think straight on the numbers she's trying to put together.

"what're you doing?" he murmurs, kissing her neck, before glancing down at the paper that she's holding over the table.

a quick sigh in defeat leaves her lips when he pulls away from her and takes the paper from her and folds it, before putting it in his back pocket.

"you don't need to worry about that right now." he says seriously as she turns around to face him with a stern expression.

he rolls his eyes at her determination and stubbornness. "don't give me that look, sweetheart."

she opens her mouth to defend herself, but he interrupts her, "you don't have to worry about that."

she raises her hands up in the air in clear frustration. "but, i live here! i can't just live here — with you — and not pay for it!"

rafe rolls his eyes — again — at her, becoming frustrated himself. "princess, you don't have to pay for that."

she groans, clenching her eyes shut for a moment, before opening up her eyes and marching over to him.

"yes," she says, tapping his chest with her pointer finger, before continuing on, "i do. i've been living with you for a long while!"

"and," she says, motioning to the living room, where a lot of her stuff is sitting in boxes. "i already have all of my stuff here!"

rafe sighs, knowing that she has a right to feel this way, especially with the way she was raised.

giving her a serious look, he places each of his hands over her shoulders, trying to calm her down and ease her worries. "okay." he simply says.

she knits her eyebrows together in confusion and shock. "okay?"

he nods, chuckling at her shocked reaction. "yes, okay. we'll figure this out. but, for right now, let's just relax and take it one step at a time, okay?"

with a quiet sigh, she nods, letting him lead her into the living room.

"do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. you are the best thing that's ever been mine."

it was meant to be a quiet, romantic picnic by the water. but, it becomes something else entirely.

something much more carefree and exciting.

rafe had planned this for the past few days, knowing that despite he'd been trying to get her to relax about the bills, she was going to be stressed no matter what.

but, that didn't mean that he couldn't give her a nice evening to distract her.

it really was meant to be serious, but that's exactly what [y/n] didn't want. because she wanted the distraction too.

and she's not quite sure how it happens, but she finds herself letting her guard down and wanting to live in excitement.

it's hard to explain, but rafe makes her happy and he makes her feel like she can actually live without everything she's been through holding her back.

that's exactly why when rafe hands her a bowl of grapes, she grabs a few and jokingly throws them at him.

she giggles when she sees the shocked look on his face, but then a teasing glint fills his eyes and a mischievous smile forms on his lips.

"oh, you're gonna pay for that one, sweetheart!" he says, getting up and preparing to get to her, causing her to squeal in both excitement and shock.

she giggles as she gets up and runs away from him, an insane amount of happiness and peace filling her at the current situation — it's moments like this with rafe that makes life feel worth living.

as she keeps running through the spacious field with tall grass and weeds, she glances back again, only to not see him.

this causes her to stop in confusion and look around.

only when she looks in front of her, does she see him jokingly running towards her.

"no!" she squeals, moving to run in the opposite direction, but he catches up to her and is able to pull her to his chest by wrapping his arms around her waist.

she giggles, sighing in defeat, before groaning in feigned-sadness.

"you got me, cameron."

he chuckles, leaning closer to kiss her shoulder and inhaling her scent, taking in the moment. "yes, i do."

the love in his voice causes her to turn around in his hold, his hands holding her waist as she cups his face in her hands.

maybe she's just in the moment — she doesn't know, and she doesn't care — but she murmurs those three words in honesty, "i love you."

he's shocked for a moment, before leaning closer to press a kiss to her forehead. "i love you, too."

a smile takes over both of their lips.

"do you remember all the city lights on the water? you saw me start to believe for the first time. you made a rebel out of a careless man's careful daughter. you are the best thing that's ever been mine."

a big smile on her face is what distracts rafe from the booming and bright fireworks.

that big smile, paired with the excited and awed glint in her eyes as she admires how the fireworks shine and reflect through the water makes his heart nearly stop.

he should be enjoying the celebratory fireworks, but he's only focused on her, because seeing her happy is everything he's ever wanted — possibly from the first moment he met her, even when she refused to get to know him in the beginning because of how scared she was to let him in, after everything she's been through.

noticing how quiet he is, [y/n] turns to face him, adorable confusion in her eyes as she knits her eyebrows together in concern.

"rafe? what's wrong?"

he's quiet for a moment, before shaking his head with a happy smile on his lips. "nothing."

"you sure?" she asks, still very much confused and worried.

that excitement that she expressed before is long gone now as she starts to ramble, "if something's wrong, we can go. it's okay if you're not feeling these fireworks anymore."

rafe immediately shakes his head, moving to kiss her forehead. "everything's fine. i promise."

"okay... then, what is it? what's on your mind?" she asks, tilting her head to the side in further confusion.

he chuckles, smiling down at her. "i just like seeing my girl happy."

not expecting this, [y/n]'s mouth falls open for a second, before her face turns red, clearly loving being called his girl.

he smirks at this, fully knowing his effect on her.

she sighs and leans her forehead over his, not caring who sees. "rafe, i hope you know you've changed my life and i'm so much more happier for it — with you in it."

those words bring a big smile to his lips. "good, i'm glad."

"oh-oh, oh."

one thing she loves most about being with rafe is how complete and happy she feels around him.

because despite the fact that she believed that she'd be stuck in her trauma for the rest of her life, he's shown her that there's more to life and that she wants what he's given to her.

"and i remember that fight, 2:30 a.m. as everything was slipping right out of our hands. i ran out crying and you followed me out into the street. braced myself for the goodbye. 'cause it's all i've ever known. then you took me by surprise. you said, 'i'll never leave you alone.' (oh)."

it was over something stupid — some small argument that turned into a screaming match.

it was something that caused the both of them to lose their control and snap at the other — that let them lose their cool.

it started with [y/n] just asking him a question — and of course it was about the bills because she wanted to do what she could to pay for her living with him.

then, he'd gotten frustrated. and what was once bickering, turned into something much more worse.

and it's not like they're angry at each other.

[y/n] just couldn't shake the feeling of being like a burden and rafe just wanted to show her that that's not how he sees or feels about her.

and it just didn't feel good for either of them — the insults and frustrated comments they made towards each other only made things worse.

when rafe opens his mouth to say something else, [y/n] quickly turns around and walks over to the door.

this throws him off, making him gape at her in surprise.

"[y/n], where are you going?" he asks, getting up and starting to step towards her, but he doesn't get close to her when she quickly twists the door knob and pulls the door open.

she runs out, and despite the pouring rain, she races into it, running until her feet hurt, to the other side of the apartment.

with breathless gasps and sobs leaving her body, she stops short and falls to her knees with her hands quickly hiding her face behind them with her shoulders shaking.

all she can think about is that she's probably messed everything up.

she just had to get involved with the bills and bring up — once again, for the millionth time — how she needs to pay her share for staying with him.

all she can think about is that as soon as she goes back into his apartment, he's going to break up with her and kick her out with a broken heart.

footsteps stop from behind her, but she doesn't hear it because she's distracted with the negative thoughts in her head.

then, a touch to her shoulder shakes her out of her own head and causes her to shakily stand up and turn around.

but, she doesn't look at him, she keeps her head downcast, refusing to see that disappointed look that's most likely on his face right now.

"hey, look at me." he murmurs softly, his heart hurting at how upset she is — how upset he's made her.

she still doesn't, however.

with a deep sigh, he lifts her chin up, forcing her to look at him. "i'm sorry, baby. i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to hurt you."

he frowns as she takes a deep breath, the tears spilling onto her cheeks.

a shaky breath leaves his lips and his eyes immediately soften, gently swiping away the tears with a tender expression on his face.

"i love you so much, princess. it was never my intention to get so cruel. please, know that." he murmurs, his face quickly forming with an expression of guilt and regret.

she sighs, finally finding the courage to speak, "it's not your fault, rafe. this is on me. i'm the one that's been bombarding you with letting me help with the bills — i just kept pushing."

he tilts his head slightly to the side in confusion.

when she doesn't say anything else, he shakes his head. "hey, this isn't your fault. i shouldn't have gotten so mad at you."

her bottom lip trembles, hating how upset she's getting around him.

"it is, though. i've messed everything up and our relationship is going to fall apart because i always destroy everything i touch." she whispers this emotional statement, but rafe hears it clearly.

he sighs, stepping closer to her and gently cupping her cheeks in his hands. "baby, when you told me the truth about your family, i told you then that i'd never hurt you like that." he says seriously, causing her to knit her eyebrows together.

"i promised you that. and that includes not leaving you, okay?" he murmurs, frowning when he sees more tears fill her eyes.

"i'm not leaving you — ever. i meant it when i said i loved you, and i still do."

she still doesn't believe it for a second, but when he doesn't say anything else and his face stays with an expression of honesty, she changes her mind — she believes him now.

"you promise that?" she asks quietly, her voice tight.

he nods, his face still filled with honesty, before he pulls her into him and wraps his arms around her body, while her face falls into his chest and her arms go around his back.

"we're going to figure this out, i promise."

shockingly, those words do just enough to comfort her in the moment.

"you said, 'i remember how we felt, sitting by the water. and every time i look at you, it's like the first time. i fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter. she is the best thing that's ever been mine.'"

it was unexpected to say the least.

she didn't even know how they found her — she hadn't told many people from her old town where she'd moved.

but, somehow, they found her.

the only thing she hates most, is that rafe gets dragged into it — she doesn't want this for him.

but, she and rafe had gone out, to go get some breakfast and then get some groceries, since they've been running low on a lot of things.

and on their way home, [y/n] almost trips, causing rafe to immediately catch her in his arms when they both realize that it's because one of her shoes is untied.

as rafe bends down to tie her shoes, she rolls her eyes at his joking manners.

"there you go, my lady!" he says with a joking tone of voice as he stands back up.

she giggles, rolling her eyes at him. "you're so silly right now, rafe cameron."

he smiles, happy to see her smile as he leans in to place a kiss on her forehead.

despite the fact that they're in the middle of the path of the sidewalk, the couple doesn't even take notice of the people walking past them and giving them dirty looks.

"you're so cute." he murmurs, pulling her body into his and wrapping one of his arms around hers, before pressing a tender kiss to her forehead.

this only causes her to giggle in response, a happy smile taking over on her face.

"you really are, though." he says when he pulls away from her.

she shrugs, not quite believing him herself.

he sighs, rolling his eyes at her clear refusal to believe him.

"you are, sweetheart," he says seriously, now moving his hands to hold her face in his hands. "you are quite literally the best thing to ever happen to me."

her mouth falls open in surprise, before her cheeks flush red and a small smile forms on her lips.

"you really mean that?" she asks softly, tilting her head to the side and watching him closely.

he nods quietly, causing a happy glint to fill her eyes and for her smile to turn into something bigger.

"i feel the same about you, cameron."

the both of them find themselves stuck in the moment, but when someone else passes them, they remember where they are.

rafe steps away from her, but not before intertwining their hands together and leading her down the pathway that's near the apartment building.

but, when they finally get there, two people standing outside makes [y/n] freeze in place.

rafe turns to face her with concern on his face. "hey, what's wrong?" he asks, noticing what she's looking at, making him turn to look too.

not knowing who they are, he turns back to face her. "who are they? do you know them?"

she gulps nervously as the unknown couple starts walking towards them.

catching rafe's nervous face, she quietly explains in a tight voice, "they're my parents."

rafe's once concerned face shifts into one of instinctive-protectiveness.

when he turns back around, her parents finally step in front of them.

[y/n] gulps nervously, barely even noticing the way rafe steps in front of her protectively with one of his arms in front of her — she's too distracted.

"you need to leave." rafe says, before either of [y/n]'s parents can speak first.

her mother is startled, whereas her father becomes quickly irritated. "who do you think you are? we're only here to speak to our daughter!"

her mother, despite everything she's put [y/n] through, nervously touches her ex-husband's shoulder to stop him from starting anything, especially in public.

he, however, harshly shrugs her hand off of his shoulder with an angry look in his eyes.

rafe turns to check on his girlfriend, only to notice the scared and nervous look in her eyes.

seeing this only makes him even more irritated — he hates to see her happy mood from before become sour and sad.

"you seriously need to go. you don't get to pop up back into her life after putting her through hell." he tries his best to stay calm.

this only angers [y/n]'s father; he scoffs angrily, motioning to his daughter. "[y/n], tell this idiot to leave and let us talk!"

[y/n]'s mother winces, nervously glancing around them, noticing that people, who're passing by, are stopping to watch.

somehow, though, [y/n] finds the courage to shake her head insistently. "no. he stays."

this only aggravates her father even more.

"are you really going to let him talk to us like this?!"

she flinches, stepping back.

however, seeing this is just enough for rafe. "you guys need to go. [y/n] has moved on from what you guys put her through and she doesn't need this or any more surprise visits. she doesn't owe you anything."

her father goes to say more, but his ex-wife stops him by grabbing his shoulder to hold him back.

rafe turns back to face [y/n], grabbing her hand and holding it in his own gently.

a soft look fills his face as he speaks his next words, "your daughter is an amazing woman, despite how much you've hurt her. and i love her," he says, causing her to smile in appreciation and love, before he turns back to face her parents again. "and she doesn't need this from you."

"so, do her a favor and leave. and don't come back." he says tensely, still holding her back from behind her.

"excuse me?!" [y/n]'s father exclaims angrily, moving to step forward, not scaring rafe one bit, considering he's use to abusive men like his father.

rafe stays standing in front of his girlfriend in a protective stance, but her mother is the one who reacts before her ex-husband can.

a look of defeat fills her face as she struggles to pull him away from his daughter and her boyfriend.

"let's just go. this was a mistake." she says, still struggling to hold him back.

finding the courage, [y/n] says the next thing that — shockingly — convinces him to leave, "dad, please. just go," she anxiously flinches when she sees the angry look in his eyes, after what she says next, "i'm sorry, but i don't want anything to do with either of you. and you both owe it to me to do that for me."

with a shocked expression, he lets his ex-wife pull him away from them.

when they're finally gone, rafe and [y/n] turn to each other, allowing her the final moment to break.

she drops the grocery bags to the ground, beginning to breathe heavily with tears spilling to her cheeks.

rafe sighs, knowing what she needs as he pulls her into his chest, dropping his own bags to the ground gently.

"it's okay, baby. they're gone." he murmurs quietly, finally wrapping his arms around her body and allowing her to feel what she needs to.

"hold on, make it last. hold on, never turn back. (hold on), you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. (hold on), you are the best thing that's ever been mine."

it wasn't a good time. not for either of them.

[y/n] knew that getting into a relationship so soon with rafe was bound to cause some issues for her.

especially with how she struggled in the beginning to open up and let him in and to begin to love him because that would mean letting down her guard and getting attached to him, until he'd eventually leave, because that's all that ever happens with her.

but, rafe is different — he promised he'd never leave or hurt her, and he meant that, and he still does.

it was just one of those days with an intense episode and this time, she can't control it.

and rafe having his own experience with mental health is able to see it from a mile away. and he's able to be there for her — and refuses to leave her — despite what she expects.

he walks past the hallway of the apartment, only to find her on the floor, against the couch, in the living room.

she's shaking and her face is practically beat red from crying and her breathing is panicked.

"baby?" he calls, causing her to immediately glance up in surprise.

her mouth falls open, her eyes filled with panic, but she quickly looks down and hides her face behind her hands.

"i'm fine, rafe. just leave me alone." she says, loud enough for him to hear, hoping that he'll listen because there's no way he'll still see her the same if he witnesses any more of this episode that she's clearly having right now.

this doesn't do anything to deter him.

in fact, it only concerns him more as he races over to her in concern.

her breathing only becomes much more heavy and rushed as he kneels in front of her.

"princess, talk to me." he murmurs quietly, internally struggling on how to be there for her without setting her off — he knows too well how it feels to be so consumed with pain, but to snap at anyone because of it.

she doesn't say anything, but her hands shake as she desperately tries to hold in everything she feels, in order to not snap at her boyfriend.

"hey," he murmurs, finally reaching over to gently pull her hands away from her face. "you can talk to me. you don't have to go through this alone." he murmurs, quickly becoming much more worried when he sees the way she's struggling to breathe.

the look in his eyes that are filled with both concern and love gives her the courage to finally talk, "r—rafe, i can't... i can't b—breathe... "

that pressure on her chest becomes incredibly tighter as she clenches her eyes shut in further panic.

he sighs, soothingly running one of his hands over one side of her hair in worry.

"okay... do you know if you're having a panic attack or anxiety attack, or is this an episode?" he asks genuinely, grabbing one of her hands and rubbing his thumb over it soothingly as he waits for her answer.

she shakes her head in more stress, shaking. "i—i don't know... i think... i—it might be b—both."

rafe sighs stressfully, before letting go of her hand to move to sit beside her.

"okay," he says in determination to help her as he grabs her hands to hold gently. "what i want you to do, is breathe with me, okay?"

she breathlessly nods, her eyes following his hand that's taking one of hers to hold over his chest and over his heart.

he counts to three, before nodding along with her as he starts to breathe calmly and deeply.

a shaky breath leaves her lips as she breathes deeply and calmly with him, but it doesn't feel like she's actually breathing on the inside.

noticing this, rafe nods, still very much determined. "okay, this is okay," he murmurs, holding her hand with his over hers that's over his heart. "just keep going, okay? you can do this."

she nods, still struggling to breathe with searing tears falling repetitively.

"it's okay. just close your eyes, and focus on my heartbeat and just try to breathe." he murmurs, trying to ignore how worried he is about her — he needs to be strong for her to get through this.

closing her eyes, she tries to take a deep breath and listens to the calm and normal beating of his heart.

after a while, she begins to calm down with her breaths returning to normal.

taking another deep breath, she sighs in relief and leans into him. "thank you, rafe."

he nods, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

after a few more minutes, she pulls away from him with an embarrassed expression clear on her face.

"i'm sorry. i hate that you saw me like that." she apologizes, glancing down at her now fidgeting hands, feeling deep in her bones that he'll see her completely different, now that he's seen her in this state.

rafe shakes his head at her, grabbing one of her hands with one of his and lifting her chin up with the other. "hey, don't apologize."

she opens her mouth to say more, but he cuts her off, "you're my girl, baby. when you hurt, i hurt. this is what i'm here for."

his words warm her heart and tears fill her eyes.

"you promise that you don't see me differently now?" she asks in barely a whisper.

moving his hands to her cheeks, he smiles at her with a fond smile. "baby, there's not a single thing in the entire world that could ever make me see you differently other than the girl i'm in love with and love with my whole heart."

a small, audible gasp leaves her lips at hearing that statement — this is the first time he's ever admitted to being in love with her.

i mean, sure, he's told her countless times that he loves her, but he's never told her until now that he's in love with her.

"really?" she asks in a whisper, once again.

he nods, smiling at the happy smile that takes over her face.

with no other words exchanged, [y/n] turns to lean her body against him again, only this time they're cuddling each other and closer to each other more than before.

"do you believe it? (yeah, yeah, yeah). we're gonna make it now, (yeah, yeah, yeah). and i can see it, (yeah, yeah). i can see it now."

"are you sure about this?" rafe asks her, his voice filled with nerves.

she turns around to face him, immediately noticing how nervous he is.

"as long as you are," she says, placing her hands on each side of his neck as he leans his body against the side of his car. "seriously, you tell me right now, if you're having doubts. we can always do this a different time."

she is nothing but supportive, something he notices immediately.

the situation that's stressing him out in question? it's about visiting outer banks, to meet with his sister and her friends.

things have been better with them, after he got the help he needed and helped pay for the actions he committed.

but, being on good terms with them isn't what's worrying him — it's the fact that he's going to have to run into his father at some point.

now, the truth is, rafe told [y/n] the truth about everything that happened in the obx when the two of them started getting really serious — he didn't want to lie to her.

but, another thing he's worried about, is him introducing [y/n] to everyone — he worries that they'll think that he doesn't deserve her.

because if they believe that, then he'll have to believe it too.

but, seeing the lost look in his eyes — which is clearly telling her that he's stuck in his head right now �� [y/n] catches his attention by wrapping her arms around his neck.

as he wraps his arms around her waist, she leans closer to him, leaning her forehead over his, before pulling away with an infectious smile.

"it's going to be okay. but, it's your decision," she murmurs seriously. "but, if we do go, just know that i'll be there with you the whole time — you won't have to go through this alone."

her words are what helps him make his decision.

"if you're with me, i think we can go."

"yeah?" she asks, just to make sure.

"yeah." he says, confirming it with a smile.

a big smile spreads over her lips, nodding in clear excitement.

"okay," she says in confirmation. "let's go, then."

with that, she pulls away from him, giving him a look that really does prove that every word she said to him is something that she means completely.

this is all he needs to agree.

before they go, however, he pulls her back towards her to press a sweet kiss to her lips — one that she returns.

she pulls away with a big smile. "i love you, cameron."

he laughs in agreement. "and i love you."

[ohdorothea]

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info here! Lyrics for the songs and FAQ under the cut!

Mine lyrics

You were in college working part-time waiting tables

Left a small town, and never looked back

I was a flight risk with a fear of falling

Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts

I say, "Can you believe it?"

As we're lying on the couch

The moment I could see it

Yes, yes, I can see it now

Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?

You put your arm around me for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Flash forward and we're taking on the world together

And there's a drawer of my things at your place

You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded

You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

But we got bills to pay

We got nothing figured out

When it was hard to take

Yes, yes, this is what I thought about

Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?

You put your arm around me for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?

You saw me start to believe for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

And I remember that fight

Two-thirty AM

As everything was slipping right out of our hands

I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the "Goodbye"

'Cause that's all I've ever known

Then you took me by surprise

You said, "I'll never leave you alone."

You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water

And every time I look at you, it's like the first time

I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter

She is the best thing that's ever been mine."

Hold on, make it last

Hold on, never turn back

(Hold on)

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

(Hold on)

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

(Hold on)

Yeah, yeah

Do you believe it?

(Hold on)

We're gonna make it now

(Hold on)

And I can see it

(Yes, yes)

I can see it now (see it now, see it now)

🫶🫶🫶

Ours lyrics

Elevator buttons and morning air

Strangers' silence makes me want to take the stairs

If you were here, we'd laugh about their vacant stares

But right now, my time is theirs

Seems like there's always someone who disapproves

They'll judge it like they know about me and you

And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do

The jury's out, but my choice is you

So don't you worry your pretty little mind

People throw rocks at things that shine

And life makes love look hard

The stakes are high, the water's rough

But this love is ours

You never know what people have up their sleeves

Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me

Lurking in the shadows with their lip gloss smiles

But I don't care, 'cause right now, you're mine

And you'll say

Don't you worry your pretty little mind

People throw rocks at things that shine

And life makes love look hard

The stakes are high, the water's rough

But this love is ours

And it's not theirs to speculate if it's wrong and

Your hands are tough, but they are where mine belong and

I'll fight their doubt and give you faith with this song for you

'Cause I love the gap between your teeth

And I love the riddles that you speak

And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos

Will be ignored, 'cause my heart is yours

So don't you worry your pretty little mind

People throw rocks at things that shine

And life makes love look hard

Don't you worry your pretty little mind

People throw rocks at things that shine

But they can't take what's ours

They can't take what's ours

The stakes are high, the water's rough

But this love is ours

🫶🫶🫶

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

[the-record]

mine…

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

synopsis: abby’s new to town and you just have to show her around…

pairing: college!abby x reader

warnings: none me thinks

a/n: hi so another smau type bc yall LOVED the last one. im sorry ab not finishing the series, tumblr isn’t the best to write on its been majorly glitchy for me and it would’ve taken me 20 hours to write those

my masterlist

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

you were in college, working part time waiting tables left a small town, never looked back i was a flight risk with a fear of falling wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts

“hi, im abby, ill be your server today, can i get you started with some drinks?”

you looked from your friend as your server arrived, seeing a tall blonde girl you’d yet to see here.

“hi, you’re new.” you smiled sweetly before answering. “ill just take a water,” she nodded before looking to ellie. she ordered a coke and abby left with a nod. “shes cute.”

“not my type.” you rolled your eyes at her, leaning back into the booth. “i know, im not stupid, you meant for you.”

you looked over to see if she was near, findinf her not to be, before turning back to ellie. “where do you think shes been hiding all this time, i’ve literally never seen her here before?”

“a water and a coke.” the drinks were placed on your table along with two straws. “are you ready, or would you like some time to look over the menu.”

you shook your head as you unwrapped your straw. “no, we’re all good.” you and ellie both ordered, but before abby left you stopped her. “wait, where are you from? you new?”

she nodded, stepping into a more comfortable position infront of your table. “yea, actually, just moved last week. im from jackson, small town about an hour from here.” you hummed.

“interesting, so you’re here for college then?” ellie kicked you and you scoffed, shaking your head at her. “just trying to get to know the pretty lady a bit, chill.” abby blushed and you smiled. “so, college?”

“yea, closest college, didnt wanna go too far from home.”

“cute. okay, ill leave you be now, nice to meet you though abby, welcome!”

you left your name and number on a napkin.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

abby: hey, this angel?

angel: sure is babe

abby: hey it’s abby

angel: well hi! was kinda nervous you didnt see the napkin lmao

abby: i was kinda nervous to text you

angel: you’re cute.

angel: anyways i did have a reason for leaving my info

abby: really? i thought u must just give it out to all strangers.

angel: hardy har. good one.

angel: ANYWAYS

angel: wanna go out sometime? i know this super cute restaurant

abby: yea sure why not

angel: cool, ill send you the address. friday at 7 work?

abby: perfect.

ill say “can you believe it?” as we’re lying on the couch the moment i can see it yes, yes i can see it now

yourinstagram

yourinstagram first date, kinda nervy shes a serial killer

tagged: a_anderson

load comments…

a_anderson only u could take this pic and make me seem crazy

↳ yourinstagram its my specialty

dina_nolastname oh u found one that ties shoes? look at you go

↳ elliewilliams i tie ur shoes all the time okay

elliewilliams cute ig

jessesucks ill tie ur shoes for u

↳ yourinstagram please dont. you wear velcro shoes

do you remember we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing that’s ever been mine

a_anderson

a_anderson @ the random passerby who took this and airdropped it to me, ill name my firstborn after u

tagged: yourinstagram

load comments…

yourinstagram we r so cute 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

↳ a_anderson wanna makeout?

mannynotnanny i h8 u

↳ a_anderson manny cannot spell: ✅

owenmoore69 been there 2 weeks and already moved on

jerry_anderson So happy for you Abs. Miss you! ❤️❤️❤️

↳ a_anderson miss you more dad 🤍

elliewilliams gag.

↳ a_anderson go away.

↳ yourinstagram yea, go away.

flash forward and we’re taking on the world together and theres a drawer of my things at your place you learn my secrets, and you figure out why im guarded you say we’ll never make my parents mistakes

abby: i have no hoodies

abby: you have any idea why?

angel: …

abby: angellllllllllllll

angel: THEYRE SO COMFY THO

abby: so ill buy u some

angel: but theyre yours i dont want new ones i want YOURS

angel: please you cant take them

angel: they’re mine now

abby: babe i need one

angel: you have one tho

abby: okay but it doesn’t go with my outfit

abby: just the grey one for today and ill bring it home tn

angel: promise?

abby: promise.

angel: fine. bring me a slushy

abby: whatever you want babe

abby: omw.

but we got bills to pay we’ve got nothing figured out when it was hard to take yes, yes this is what i thought about

abby: come over

angel: i cant love

abby: fine, ill come over

angel: no i cant come over bc ive got work in 30

abby: nooooooooooo

abby: call out.

abby: please.

angel: i would but i have rent due this weekend and my car payment the next

abby: just move in with me

angel: mhm yes whatever you want love

abby: no, like im serious

abby: move in

angel: isnt that kinda stereotypical

abby: what moving in after 2 months?

angel: yea yk uhaul lesbians??

abby: and? move in

angel: okay i actually really want to but i still have work so i gotta get ready

angel: but ill come over after and we can talk ab this????

abby: yay! see you then, have a good shift, text me if u need me 🤍

do you remember we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing that’s ever been mine do you remember all the city lights on the water? you saw me start to believe for the first time you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing thats ever been mine

yourinstagram

yourinstagram best thing to ever be mine 🤍

tagged: a_anderson

load comments…

a_anderson come over i miss u

↳ yourinstagram i left an hour ago 😭

↳ a_anderson UR POINT?????

elliewilliams cringe.

dina_nolastname where r u

↳ yourinstagram cali… we got bored

↳ dina_nolastname GIRL

jessesucks y wasnt i invited??!?!

↳ yourinstagram bc ur u?

↳ dina_nolastname you’ll get em next time

↳ elliewilliams HA

and i remember that fight, 2:30 am as everything was slipping right out of our hands i ran out crying, and you followed me out into the street braced myself for the goodbye ‘cause its all ive ever known and you took me by surprise you said, “ill never leave you alone.”

“maybe i shouldnt move in,” you said, testing how far the both of you could go.

abby sighed, throwing her hands in the hair. “maybe you shouldnt!”

you watched the regret make into onto her face as your heart sunk. you headed out the door, grabbing your keys as you went. you almost made it to the car when you heard abby yelling your name.

“angel, please!” you turned to face her, just feet from your car. you heard thunder start as you waited for her to get closer to you. “im so sorry, please i dont mean it and you know it.”

“im never gonna leave you alone.”

you said, “i remember how we felt sitting by the water and every time i look at you, its like the first time i fell in love with a careless mans careful daughter she is the best thing thats ever been mine.”

a_anderson

a_anderson officially all moved in 🏡

tagged: yourusername

load comments…

yourusername i made her vaccum

↳ a_anderson u didnt make me do anything

↳ yourusername hmmm

elliewilliams housewarming party when

↳ a_anderson never.

mannynotnanny happy for you abs

dina_nolastname MY BABY SHES SO HAPPY MWAH MWAH MWAH LOVE U ANGEL

jerry_anderson My girl is so grown up, love you Abs ❤️❤️❤️

↳ a_anderson love you too dad, miss you ❤️

hold on, make it last hold on, never turn back you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing thats ever been mine

yourusername

yourusername happy 1 year baby. i love you 🤍

tagged: a_anderson

load comments…

a_anderson so lucky to love you 🤍

dina_nolastname happy 1 year dorks, love u both sm im so happy for u ur perfect

jessesucks yall r so cute omg

jerry_anderson Abby picked a good one, love you Angel. Happy 1 year to you two! ❤️❤️❤️

↳ yourusername thank you jerry 🤍 love you too, we will be visiting soon promise

elliewilliams photocreds where?!?

↳ yourusername i hate you.

↳ a_anderson up my butt.

↳ elliewilliams ur so immature goodness.

do you believe it? we’re gonna make it now and i can see it i can see it now

[untitlednerd]

Mine

Jake Seresin x reader

Songfic inspired by Mine by Taylor Swift

Summary: Being with a Naval Aviator in training is hard, but Jake believes that you can get through the rough patches together. 

Warnings: None, but I didn’t check for spelling or grammar errors, so please let me know if there are any. 

Words: Almost 3500

You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables

Left a small town, never looked back

I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin'

Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

While in college, you worked at a coffee shop nearby in between classes to get extra money. Your parents agreed to pay most of the school expenses, but you had to be able to pay for food and everything else yourself.

Jake Seresin, who was attending the Naval Academy, drove out of his way to go to the coffee shop you worked at when he could. At first, he was just trying to find a good cup of coffee to wake him up. But after he met you, he continued to come back to the place you worked at. Getting coffee as well was always just a small bonus. 

“The usual I presume, Jake?” You would always ask with a smile whenever he walked up to you during one of your shifts. 

“Yes, ma’am.” Was always his response. He always answered you with a grin, his Texan accent making the whole conversation better. 

On rare occasions, he would even stay on the days you worked until closing time, and he would help you close everything up. You would play music as you both cleaned everything up, from wiping down the tables to making sure all of the coffee bean bags were closed and organized on the counter. Sometimes on those rare occasions, Jake would offer his hand to dance with you. And with a smile, you would take it – taking a break from whatever you were doing to lay your head on his shoulder and dance with him. 

The closer you two got, the more Jake tried to be available to hangout with you. And after months of your coffee shop hangouts, he decided to finally ask you on a real date, wanting to take you somewhere that wasn’t a place you worked at. 

I say, "Can you believe it?"

As we're lyin' on the couch

The moment, I can see it

Yes, yes, I can see it now

“Can you believe it, Jake?” You asked, laying on the couch in your apartment with your back against his chest as you watched TV. 

“Believe what, darlin’?” He asked back, his accent and the nickname creating a familiar and comforting warmth in your heart. 

“Believe that we’re here. You met me at a coffee shop. I mean- I had to talk to you, because I was taking your order. It’s not like you had a choice. And here we are now, almost a year later.” You smiled softly at all of the memories of the times the two of you had ever since you met replayed in your head. “I wonder if you would even notice me if we met now..” 

“Sweetheart,” He sat up with you slightly, putting a finger under your chin to turn your head to look at him. “It would be impossible not to notice you.” He kissed you softly, leaning back once he pulled away so that the two of you could lay in the same comfortable position as before. 

(Any TVDU fans see what I did there? 🙂)

Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water?

You put your arm around me for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

As you both laid there on the couch, you remembered the first time you hung out away from the coffee shop. 

You were supposed to be working at the time, but Jake had been so busy with stuff at the Naval Academy, and his only free time was during one of your late shifts one day. 

Your parents would sometimes tell you stories of the parties and pranks that they were part of in College, hoping you would be part of some yourself to break you out of your shell. But you did the opposite. You would hangout with some of the friends you made, and would take walks around campus, but other than that you focused on school and work most of the time. You knew not to push yourself when it came to work, but you also knew that sometimes college parties could be wild, so you never went to one. Sometimes your friends even teased you for always being at work on time, and never missing anything. Truth be told, you never skipped a shift because you never had a reason to.

Now you did have a reason to. All it took was one text from Jake to let you know he was free for you to change out of one of the outfits you normally saved for work, and then into another that you normally wore whenever you’d go out. 

You both texted back and forth until finally deciding to meet at a park near your college campus. The both of you talked and walked around for a while before starting to get tired, so you sat on the ground in front of the lake to watch the water.

You began to ramble about something that you and a friend talked about, stopping once you saw Jake staring at you, thinking that he was annoyed. But in reality, he was just looking at you in adoration, happy to see you relaxed and enjoying your time away from work where the two of you normally hung out. He gave you a small smile, putting an arm around you as the sun started to set and the breeze began to get cooler. He decided to ramble about his day and the people he talked to as well to show you that it was okay to do so. 

Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together

And there's a drawer of my things at your place

You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded

You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

Jake lived in a dormitory at the academy at first, but then moved into an apartment between the academy and your College campus so that it was easier for you both to visit each other when you had the free time to do so. You both had been together for a little over a year at the time, and he had a drawer that was labeled in his mind as yours. It had clothes for whenever you wanted to stay the night, a toothbrush and toothpaste, and more. 

He eventually asked you if you wanted to move in. Dorm and Apartment costs could be expensive, but it’s easier when the rent is split for Apartments. So, once you finally got him to agree to splitting the rent cost in half so that you both paid an equal amount instead of him paying most of it, you agreed to move in with him. 

Living together was a little hard at first, but you both acclimated to it pretty quickly. Sometimes it was difficult, since you were used to being alone whenever you were upset after getting home. But now you shared your home with someone else, and that came with seeing each other during vulnerable moments. 

Jake always knew how to make you feel better, though. If he knew you were upset about something, he would normally give you space for a little bit before trying to get you to talk. Not everyone deals with their emotions the same way, and he knew that. So, while he let you have your alone time, he would normally clean up around the apartment so you had less to worry about when you felt better, or he would do something random like watching TV or reading a book. 

After a little while, you would either go out and get food that you like, or he would get a snack together that you like before gently knocking on the door to your room so he wouldn’t scare you. You both had separate rooms. Sometimes you would sleep in Jake’s room, but whenever you were upset you would always stay in your own room.

Most of the time you would answer when he knocked, telling him he could come in. But sometimes you would stay silent, and Jake would just resort to opening the door.

“Hey, pretty girl.” He’d say, a soft and sad smile on his face as he walked in with the food for you. He would always see you hiding in your blankets on your bed, wearing one of the comfiest outfits he’d ever seen you in. And it would normally take a minute, but he would finally get the blankets away from your face, saying something like, “There she is.” 

He would always be gentle with you, which he was never like with anyone else. He may have been polite to some, but never sweet and gentle like he was with you. He’d try to get you to eat some of the food that he brought, even if it was just a little. As long as you took a few bites, Jake would be happy. Once he got you to eat, he would normally sit with you in silence, comforting you without speaking before eventually asking what was wrong. Sometimes that would result in tears – which he would gently wipe away with ease. And once you were done explaining, he would pull you to him, kissing you on the head and running a hand through your hair as he whispered sweet nothings until you were calm. 

“Jake, do you think people end up just like their parents, or their family in general? Is it inevitable..?” You asked one day when he was lying on your bed with you after you explained some family drama that was going on.

“I think we earn some of the same mannerisms as our parents. And I think that sometimes we may act like them personality wise, and we may have some faults that they may have. But I don’t believe that every kid ends up just like their parents, and no kid will ever make the exact same mistakes as them either.” He pulled you so your back was against his chest, and ran his fingers through your hair in a comforting manner. “You are your own person, sweetheart, and everything about you is beautiful.”

And we got bills to pay

We got nothin' figured out

When it was hard to take

Yes, yes

This is what I thought about

After a while, Jake became busier when it came to the Naval Academy and training. And because of that, half of the free time the both of you had was filled with arguing. 

Jake had less time for a side job, because he spent most of that time training. He only had enough free time to either have a job or spend time with you, and he wanted to spend time with you instead. The thought of having money problems alone scared you to the point of asking for more shifts whenever you had more time to work, which meant a little less time for homework, and a little more stress for you. The stress for the both of you is what caused the arguments. Someone would bring up the future, and from there it would just get even more stressful.

“So, I was thinking that after I graduate from the Academy, we could find an actual home for us. I don’t want to be separated from you after. Even if I have to leave for work when ordered to, I want it to be you that I come home to every time.” Jake said with a small smile, a dust of pink on his cheeks as he thought about a future with you. 

Though you would normally smile at stuff like that, at the time the thought of the future scared you. 

“Jake, it’s hard enough paying the rent for this place. How the hell are we going to afford a house? Let alone even have time to spend with each other in that house?” You asked as you stood up, starting to get ready for a late shift you decided to ask for so you could earn extra money. 

“Hey- I know it’s hard right now. We’re both busy, and I know I have less time with you than I did before, but,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he followed you around when you were getting ready. “Is it that bad to want a future with you?” He asked, following you into the bathroom as you quickly fixed your hair to look a little more presentable than it was before. 

“It’s not bad, but how can you think about it when it seems like a losing battle?” You asked, stopping to look at him. “You’re busier than you were before at the academy, and I’m closer to graduating as well. I’m working more than I used to so that I can have more money for this apartment and for essentials.” You finished fixing your hair, continuing to speak as you walked out of the bathroom to grab your car keys. “I want a future with you, okay? But it’s like the universe doesn’t care what I want, because when I look at my future, I always see you gone.” You said, tears in your eyes as you looked up at him after grabbing your keys. Not wanting to cry, you walked to the front door before he could say more on the subject.

“Wait, where are you going?” He asked, walking fast to keep up with you, and standing in front of the door so you couldn’t leave just yet.

“I told you, I’ve been working more.” You mumbled loud enough for him to hear before moving past him, and out the door. All he did was watch you leave with tears in his eyes.

Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water?

You put your arm around me, for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?

You saw me start to believe, for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

After the argument, you and Jake didn’t talk much for a little while. You were upset, and you were scared. And Jake was trying to figure out what he could say to assure you that everything would be okay.

No one knew what the future would hold, and he knew that he couldn’t see in the future either. But all he knew is that he wanted you in his future.

He also understood what you were thinking, and you loved and hated that. You both knew how hard it was to be in a relationship with someone who had to be away a lot with little communication when they were away. 

Growing up you always thought that if you fell in love, then you would spend a lot of time with your partner, and you would have conversations about how both of your days went while eating dinner. You always imagined that if you fell in love, it would be a movie kind of love. The one that everyone wants, but not many have. Even if you knew it wasn’t likely, it was still what you wanted.

And it seemed like the universe was against you. You had the movie love, but not the movie luck. When you thought about and imagined your future, all you saw were long and sad days without him. And that scared you. Neither of you were clingy unless you were in clingy moods, and you both liked to have your time to yourselves, understandably. But when you were together, you wanted to be able to spend time together without thinking of it as a short countdown until he had to leave again. 

And I remember that fight, two-thirty am

'Cause everything was slipping right out of our hands

I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye,

'Cause that's all I've ever known

Then, you took me by surprise

You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

After barely talking for the next week, Jake couldn’t take it anymore. He waited until you got back to the apartment after your last class of the day so that he could talk to you. 

“I just want to talk. You don’t even have to say anything, you can just listen if you want. Just please – don’t go.” He asked, a sad expression on his face as well as tired eyes. 

You nodded as if to say okay, setting your keys down before turning to face him. 

Once you agreed to listen, he smiled as he started to talk to you. It started as a normal conversation. He did his best to reassure you that everything would be okay in the future, and he started listing possible plans. But when it got to the subject of him not being there all the time, and having to deal with financial issues, you broke a little. It became like your usual arguments on the subject – but worse – until you eventually couldn’t take it anymore. You hated thinking of a future where he was away a lot. Even if it was for a good reason, the idea scared you especially with how young you were. So, with tears streaming down your face – you grabbed your keys and walked out, practically running to the parking lot. 

You didn’t realize Jake was following until you went to open your car door, and his hand stopped you before he moved to stand in front of the car door. It was pitch black outside, the only light being the ones from the streetlights nearby. 

You tried to move away, preparing yourself for him to end your relationship. You expected him to break up with you after you all but ghosted him for a week. 

But he didn’t. Instead, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. The both of you stayed like that for a minute before he pulled back slightly, his hands cupping your cheeks and gently wiping your tears away with his thumbs. 

“I’ll never leave you alone, sweetheart..” He said with a sad smile on his face, kissing you on the forehead after. “I promise.”

You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water

And every time I look at you, it's like the first time

I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter

She is the best thing that's ever been mine"

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

Do you believe it?

We're gonna make it now

And I can see it

The both of you hugged again, this hug lasting a little longer before Jake noticed you starting to become a little stressed again. So, after the week he spent trying to think of ways to reassure you, he thought now was a better time than ever.

“I remember how we felt, sitting by the water at the lake. It was the first time I took you somewhere for a date, and the first time we didn’t hangout at the coffee shop. And every time I look at you, it’s like our first date. I remember the smile on your face. It was the first time you skipped a shift, and I knew how the thought of missing work terrified you. But at the time you were so happy that you didn’t go. I fell in love with the girl you are – the girl I’m still in love with. The careful one who always tries to never miss anything, whether it’s work, school, or meeting me or a friend.” He said, looking at you with adoration. You smiled at the thought, letting out a small laugh at the memory of your first real date. 

“You made my careless self a rebel that day, Seresin.” You joked as Jake wiped the rest of your tears away.

“Do you believe that we will be okay now? Sweetheart, you’re not the only one scared of the future. It terrifies me. The thought of being away from you kills me. But the thought of not being with you at all, even when home, kills me more. We’re going to make it. We’re going to be okay.” He pulled you into another hug. “Even if you can’t see it now..”

You were silent for a minute as you hugged him back, thinking about everything he said before you answered.

“I can see it.”

[folklouire]

YOU WERE IN COLLEGE WORKING PART TIME WAITING TABLES LEFT A SMALL TOWN NEVER LOOKED BACK

[fiapartridge]

You said will and daisy are mine by Taylor swift coded how so?

omfg i've been waiting for this ask

You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables Left a small town, never looked back I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin' Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

daisy has always been scared of love (even though she has so much to give). her parents didn't really express their love as they always expected the best from their kids in everything they do: in school, in athletics, in being a good person in general - so she didn't want to be in a relationship where it would just end up in heartbreak

that's why she was so reluctant to be with will (she hated him for a while, but after hanging out with him without gabe around 24/7, she realized that he wasn't that bad - and that she really liked him)

I say, "Can you believe it?" As we're lyin' on the couch The moment, I can see it Yes, yes, I can see it now

daisy and will confessed their feelings during the summer before her senior year (+ the summer before will's 1st year at college -> they confessed their feelings at the draft) & they officially got together (in secret) during her senior year & they went public during her first year at bc.

they were hanging out in will's apartment the day they went public and they were holding hands and cuddling on the couch & it was the first time that they could be affectionate without hiding anything. "can you believe it?" daisy beamed up at will, her hands raking through his blonde hair. "we don't have to hide anymore." will smiled softly before leaning in to kiss the happy girl. "i'm so incredibly happy that i can call you mine."

Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

daisy's always been careful. she watched out for herself. her sister, lili, was one of her best friends but she barely hung around the house anymore after she left for college, and her older brothers, jeremy and jacob, were there sometimes, but she never felt close to them - there were no similarities, nothing that bonded them other than the fact that they lived under the same roof and had the same parents. gabe was her protector. he made sure she was safe and careful - he never let anything bad happen to her. they bonded over music artists, movies, and their weekly drives to the lookout only they knew of.

gabe and lili protected and cared for her because her parents weren't there to do it. yanic perreault cared for one thing and one thing only: hockey & 4/5 kids fell into that category. the last kid was long forgotten, only added into conversations when they asked her how her grades were doing and if she was still doing well in ballet.

hell, they never even went to her ballet performances. she would book out a whole row for her family and the only face she would see in that row was gabe's- every single time.

so daisy was careful. because if she wasn't careful, who was going to remind her to be? gabe was going off to college so he wouldn't be there as much and lili only came home every couple months. if daisy was lucky, she would see lili 4 times a year rather than the usual 3. so if no one was there to check her, she had to do it herself.

she never went out past midnight, she never missed out on an assignment, she never went to any parties - at one point of her life, she was sort of floating through the motions.

but when she hung out with will, it was like all of that was gone. she didn't care about coming home at 2 am, or sneaking into closed beaches, or going to parties and having a drink. when she was with will, she felt alive - and she wanted to feel that way everyday.

Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together And there's a drawer of my things at your place You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

she has a box of her things at will's apartment: extra clothes, a toothbrush, a loofa, a hair brush, all of her snacks are in the kitchen - will's bedroom isn't just his. you can see daisy in there, too.

will understood why she was so reluctant to trust him, to be in a relationship and admit that she's fallen for him - and he was okay with it. he didn't need her to be ready at that exact second. he would wait for her - because she was someone worth waiting for.

And we got bills to pay We got nothin' figured out When it was hard to take Yes, yes This is what I thought about

will was daisy's first bf. she didn't know what she was doing or if anything she was doing was right. but will promised to her that they would figure it out together.

And I remember that fight, two-thirty a.m. 'Cause everything was slipping right out of our hands I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye 'Cause that's all I've ever known Then, you took me by surprise You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

when will told daisy that he was moving to san jose after his second year at bc, she was already bracing herself for heartbreak so when the time came, it wouldn't hurt so bad.

she expected him to break up with her. to realize that he didn't want to be with a girl that wasn't there for him 24/7, that was across the country, that wouldn't pack up her whole life to be with him. but when he told her that he wasn't just going to leave her alone, that he wasn't going to give up on their relationship, she realized that he was the kind of guy you don't let go of, that you don't let out of your grasp no matter how hard the situation is, that he was the best thing that's ever been hers.

[its-vannah]

Mine | Sebastian Sallow x Reader

A/N: In honor of Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) dropping, here’s a fic inspired by one of my personal favorites on the album: “Mine”.

Warnings: Fluff, little angst, mutual pining

Speak Now x Sebastian Sallow Masterlist

You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables

There were many words one could think of to describe Sebastian Sallow. His friends would call him dedicated, his enemies unrelenting, and his family loyal to a fault. But your feelings for him were completely different than the feelings Anne and Ominis had about him. You were hopelessly in love with him.

Left a small town, never looked back

After the events in Feldcroft, Sebastian took up a job in Hogsmeade over the summer and started renting out a room above one of the shops. No matter how much he longed to return to his home back in the small hamlet, he couldn’t bring himself to go back to an empty house.

I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin'

You felt awful for him—he had lost his parents, uncle, and now, it seemed as though he had lost Anne and Ominis, too. So you did your best to visit him every Saturday in Hogsmeade, joining him for a butterbeer by the river just outside of town.

Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

Neither of you would ever admit it—and if one of you did, it was Sebastian with one of his typical coy comments about enjoying spending time with you—but Saturdays were the best parts of your weeks. Despite the denial the two of you found yourselves in, you were both head over heels for each other.

I say, "Can you believe it?"

It was one of those Saturdays and you and Sebastian were nursing butterbeers beside the river.

“Can you believe we’ll be sixth years, Sebastian?” You asked, taking a sip of the drink in your hand.

He smiled, shaking his head, “I find it harder to believe that we’ve only known each other for a year.”

The moment, I can see it

“I felt like I’ve known you forever,” you admitted.

Yes, yes, I can see it now

“Funnily enough, I feel the same way…” he said dreamily, his eyes meeting yours.

The soft summer breeze picked up a bit, causing you to cross your arms to fight off the bit of cold you felt crawling up your skin.

Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water?

What happened next would forever be engrained in your brain. He shuffled closer to you, his arm wrapping around your body. As awkward as it was in the moment, it felt natural in a way. Like his arm was made to be resting on your shoulders.

You put your arm around me for the first time

The two of you had never been this close—not on purpose, at least.

Your breath caught in your throat, heat rising to your cheeks. You had dreamt about this day since the night he took the fall for you in the library.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

Turning your head to face him, his brown eyes met yours. You were love drunk at the sight of him: his wandering eyes, freckled face, sweet smile. You couldn’t stayed like that forever.

You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

That was when the pieces of the puzzles clicked. The two of you leaned in, your lips meeting one another’s. It was a sweet kiss, one right out of a fairy tale your grandmother had read to you as a little girl. But it was real.

Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together

Needless to say, you spent the rest of the summer frequenting Hogsmeade every spare chance you got. Even a minute with him was a minute we’ll spent.

And there's a drawer of my things at your place

The two of you would spend hours talking every night, whether it was by the river, in The Three Broomsticks, or up at his place.

One night, while searching for his Gobstones set, you came across a drawer filled with things you had given him. Every letter, every drawing you had done while bored in arithmacy, and your house scarf you had tied around his neck when he had gotten a cold and refused to bundle up.

You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded

You shut the drawer, a smile on your face. You didn’t mention anything to him out of fear he’d be embarrassed. So, you let him keep his secret. But secrets weren’t easily kept between the two of you.

One night, after taking a shortcut to Hogsmeade past the graveyard, your eyes narrowed in on Professor Fig’s tombstone. Memories immediately flooded through your mind, your heart breaking all over again.

You found comfort in Sebastian’s arms that night, tears streaming down your eyes on his couch as he listened to you pour your heart out. What started with Professor Fig turned into you finally opening up about your parents. They weren’t exactly thrilled at the idea of their daughter being a witch.

You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

“Y/N, it’s not your fault. Not everyone is cut out for a life in our world. What matters is that we learn from their mistakes and try not to repeat them.”

You feel for him even harder after that, falling asleep in his embrace without a second thought.

And we got bills to pay

When the school year started back up again, you worried that what you and Sebastian had shared over the summer would come to an end. But that fear never came to fruition.

The two of you continued your relationship throughout the entire year. Despite Ominis’s worries that you’d enable him, it was quite the opposite. You grounded him—and he challenged you to be more open with your feelings.

We got nothin' figured out

You took the school by storm with Sebastian by your side—winning nearly every Crossed Wands match, excelling in your studies, and of course getting up to trouble with he and Ominis.

When it was hard to take

Not everything was perfect, though. Anne’s infrequent letters sent Sebastian for a spin whenever one was delivered. He’d experience grief and hope all at the same time, hoping that his sister would come around eventually.

This is what I thought about

By the time the summer before your seventh year rolled around, you were curled up by the river with Sebastian, his head in your lap as you ran your hands through his hair, each of you enthralled in a book.

Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water?

But you could hardly focus on the text in front of you. Memories of last summer flooded back into your mind. The two of you were in the same place where it first started.

You put your arm around me, for the first time

“Sebastian?”

“Yes?” He replied, looking up from his book.

“I love you.”

“I know,” He teased, going back to his book.

Flustered, you rolled your eyes,

He chuckled, “Y/N?”

You looked down at him, biting the insides of your cheeks.

“I love you, too.”

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

“Tell me something I don’t know, Sallow.”

“How can I when you’re such a know it all?” He smirked, lifting his head off your lap, his lips inches away from you.

You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

Leaning in, he expected your lips to meet his—but the only thing he was met with his face in the river.

A laugh escaped your lips as he stood up, completely soaked.

Unamused, a wicked smile spread across his lips. That’s when it sunk it and you started shuffling back on your feet, shaking your head.

Sebastian leapt out of the river, tackling you onto the grass, water sealing through your clothes. He shook his head, sending water droplets all over you.

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?

You couldn’t help but laugh, “Sebastian!”

“You may have started it, love, but I intend to finish it!”

You saw me start to believe, for the first time

This is what love was. The unexpected. Your heart fluttered at the sight of him. You were completely and utterly in love with him.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

The more you spent time with Sebastian, the less you thought about what your parents would think. For the first time in a while, you were happy.

You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

Seventh year rolled around and went by faster than you expected. Sebastian was by your side through it all, but a sinking feeling in your stomach started telling you it wouldn’t last. That you would go your separate ways after school.

Oh, oh, oh, oh

The inevitable fight did happen, though. Sebastian had neglected to tell you about an offer extended to him from the Ministry—expressing their wishes to see him in the auror training program during the summer.

You had found the letter waiting for him to get home one night, thinking it was the one that you had sent to him the other day. Instinctively, you had gone to put it in the drawer he kept with all your other letters—but when you scanned over it, you realized it wasn’t from you, but the ministry.

The program would start on Monday—in four days.

And I remember that fight, two-thirty a.m.

When Sebastian got home that night, he found you sitting with the letter in your hands, tears streaming down your face.

“Were you planning on telling me or just keeping this to yourself?”

'Cause everything was slipping right out of our hands

“Y/N…I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet. That’s just one offer…”

“Sebastian, we’ve been dating for two years. During those two years, the only thing I’ve asked is for you to be honest with me. Maybe I’m overstepping and should just put a smile on my face and be happy for you—but I love you too much to just be happy about you leaving so soon without telling me,” you explained, “I just…I need some space…”

I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street

You found yourself back where it had all started: at the river. Your knees curled up to your chest, you watched as the water flowed downstream. Blinking back tears, you hurried your face in your sweater.

Braced myself for the goodbye,

Hearing the set of footsteps you knew all too well, you braced yourself for your whole world to come crashing down.

'Cause that's all I've ever known

All good things must come to an end, you reminded yourself.

Then, you took me by surprise

But what happened took you by surprise. When you looked over, you saw Sebastian on one knee beside you, a small box with a ring nestled inside in his hand.

You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

“You never have to worry about being alone ever again, love.”

You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water.

“I figured it was only right to ask you to marry me where it all began”

And every time I look at you, it's like the first time.

“I never thought it’d be possible, but I fall in love with you more and more everyday.”

I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter.

“I’m hopelessly in love with you, Y/N.”

She is the best thing that's ever been mine."

“You truly are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he said, beginning to tear up, “And I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you.”

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

Lurching forward, your lips met his in a passionate kiss, only pulling away to say, “Sebastian, I’d love nothing more than to be yours forever.”

You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

He slid the ring on your finger, “You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine, love.”

Do you believe it?

“I’m sorry I overreacted with the whole ministry thing… I should’ve talked to you about it first…”

“There’s a reason I never brought it up,” he explained, earning a confused look from his fiancé, “I turned it down—because I was extended an offer from Professor Weasley to take over as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in the fall. That’s what I wanted to speak with you about tonight.”

We're gonna make it now

Realization settled over your face, “Sebastian, they offered me the charms position. That means—“

“Neither of us are going anywhere, Y/N.”

And I can see it

You pressed a brief kiss to his lips once again, admiring the ring on your finger.

“What do you say we celebrate over a butterbeer by the river?”

“I’d say thats a great idea.”

Leaning into him once more, his arm wrapped around you and, once again, it felt like the first time.

[likeadevils]

YOU WERE IN COLLEGE WORKING PART TIME WAITING TABLES LEFT A SMALL TOWN NEVER LOOKED BACK!!!

[d4vekat-otp]

taylor swift-inspired plots

i write too many of these tag me if you use! leave ideas/rec’s in the comments

SPEAK NOW. mine-- muse a is in college, working part time waiting tables. they left a small town and never looked back. muse b is a careless man's careful daughter, who watched her parent's marriage fall apart. she no longer thinks falling in love is worthwhile, until she meets muse b. stress begins to pile as they grow closer- bills to pay, education, a place of their own. a fight breaks out at 230 in the morning, and muse a runs out into the street crying. bracing herself for the goodbye; it's all she's ever known. muse b takes her by surprise, saying 'i'll never leave you alone.'

the story of us-- muse a and b were in a loving, healthy relationship for the better part of two years. they begin to fall apart; muse b puts up emotional walls to muse a, they're less communicative, they stop answering the phone. they break up, and muse a is still confused and hurting over their breakup. was muse b cheating? losing interest? suffering? muse a has no idea. a few months after the breakup, muse a is still raw and wounded but is convinced by her friends to go to a party- that muse b is the host of. muse b holds their pride like they should have held muse a.

haunted-- the breakup of muses a and b was tragic. their friends and family had all but planned the wedding for them; muse a is heartbroken. something made muse b's eyes go cold, muse a begs to not be left like this. when muse a tries dating again, all she can see and remember is muse b. muse b is distant, careless, and hardly emotional. it's like muse b has been emptied entirely, devoid of feeling anything, and muse a swears they had muse b figured out.

RED. the moment i knew-- muse b keeps blowing off muse a, despite the fact that they're dating. he hardly shows for their plans, barely picks up the phone, muse b is prime garbage. shit begins to fall apart at muse a's birthday party. their mutual friends are there, their families, and nothing seems to be missing- except muse b. for muse a, the sinking feeling starts as they try to keep it together. but what do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know? what do you do when the one who means the most to you doesn't even show?

treacherous-- muse a is head-over-heels for muse b. it's a dangerous slope, and muse a can't figure out if falling in love with such a person is a choice or not. muse b is physically affectionate and sensual, touching muse a in all the right places. however, muse b isn't the newest nail in the box and has some bad habits. muse a would be smart to walk away, but muse b is quicksand. i almost do-- whatever relationship, platonic or romantic, that muse a and b have formed, fell apart. muse a is still pining over their lost partner, muse b, and can't move on. muse a almost calls, almost writes, almost sends that text. muse a just wants one more try, but muse b is long gone. but when muse b is sitting in their chair by the window, looking out at the city, muse a comes to mind. can they try again?

holy ground-- the muses' fling was short lived, but sweet. after their breakup, muse a is still pining over them, wondering what happened to their funny, lovely situationship. it was exhilirating, wild, and spontaneous, a fleeting moment. when they find each other again, post-breakup, at a local place, they realize they might still want each other. right where they stood is holy ground.

[music-in-my-veins14]

You were in college working part-time waiting tables Left a small town, and never looked back I was a flight risk with a fear of falling Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts

[ohdorothea]

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info here! Lyrics for the songs and FAQ under the cut!

Mine lyrics

You were in college working part-time waiting tables

Left a small town, and never looked back

I was a flight risk with a fear of falling

Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts

I say, "Can you believe it?"

As we're lying on the couch

The moment I could see it

Yes, yes, I can see it now

Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?

You put your arm around me for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Flash forward and we're taking on the world together

And there's a drawer of my things at your place

You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded

You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

But we got bills to pay

We got nothing figured out

When it was hard to take

Yes, yes, this is what I thought about

Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?

You put your arm around me for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?

You saw me start to believe for the first time

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

And I remember that fight

Two-thirty AM

As everything was slipping right out of our hands

I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the "Goodbye"

'Cause that's all I've ever known

Then you took me by surprise

You said, "I'll never leave you alone."

You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water

And every time I look at you, it's like the first time

I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter

She is the best thing that's ever been mine."

Hold on, make it last

Hold on, never turn back

(Hold on)

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

(Hold on)

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

(Hold on)

Yeah, yeah

Do you believe it?

(Hold on)

We're gonna make it now

(Hold on)

And I can see it

(Yes, yes)

I can see it now (see it now, see it now)

🫶🫶🫶🫶

I Can See You lyrics

Uh-uh, uh, uh

You brush past me in the hallway

And you don't think I, I, I can see ya, do ya?

I've been watchin' you for ages

And I spend my time tryin' not to feel it

But what would you do if I went to touch you now?

What would you do if they never found us out?

What would you do if we never made a sound?

'Cause I can see you waitin' down the hall from me

And I could see you up against the wall with me

And what would you do? Baby, if you only knew

That I can see you

Uh-uh, uh, uh

And we kept everything professional

But something's changed, it's somethin' I, I like

They keep watchful eyes on us

So it's best that we move fast and keep quiet

You won't believe half the things I see inside my head

Wait 'til you see half the things that haven't happened yet

But what would you do if I went to touch you now?

What would you do if they never found us out?

What would you do if we never made a sound?

'Cause I can see you waitin' down the hall from me

And I could see you up against the wall with me

And what would you do? Baby, if you only knew, oh, oh, oh

That I could see you throw your jacket on the floor

I could see you, make me want you even more

What would you do? Baby, if you only knew

That I can see you

Uh-uh, uh, uh

I can see you in your suit and your necktie

Passed me a note saying, "Meet me tonight"

Then we kissed and you know I won't ever tell, yeah

And I could see you being my addiction

You can see me as a secret mission

Hide away and I will start behaving myself

Uh-uh, uh, uh

Oh-oh, oh, oh

I can see you waitin' down the hall from me

And I could see you up against the wall with me

And what would you do? Baby, if you only knew, oh

That I could see you throw your jacket on the floor

I could see you, make me want you even more

What would you do? Baby, if you only knew

That I can see you, oh, I can see you

Oh, I see you, I see you, baby

I see you

(Uh-uh, uh, uh) I see you, I see you, baby

Oh, baby

🫶🫶🫶

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!