#you wanna know how cute this was? enough to make my photoshop freeze
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#eve fletcher#mrs fletcher#mrs. fletcher#kathryn hahn#kathrynhahnedit#amanda olney#katie kershaw#kutekoolkat gifs#you wanna know how cute this was? enough to make my photoshop freeze#and when i force quit it the poor program cou;dn't even recover the gifs so i had to remake thems fkjgdhlmgjhk#geez really couldn't handle it at all#i'm obsessed with how she was looking at her in this scene okay#third gif holy oh myyyy gflh
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Jimmy & Janis
Jimmy: I'm not at work Jimmy: if you were gonna come in and be #goals Janis: weren't Janis: but tah for heads-up Jimmy: ๐ Janis: do you know 'bout my fave barista or should I roll the dice Jimmy: he's covering for me Janis: oh good Janis: ๐ Jimmy: can't say I never do owt for you, mate Janis: don't cash the IOU yet Jimmy: why? Jimmy: I get it, you look as rough as I feel but Pete ain't that shallow ๐ Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm great Jimmy: bollocks Janis: am too Janis: been for my run and everything Janis: I can handle mine, like Jimmy: fake it for the 'gram, my dear, I don't need to hear it, like Janis: later then skiver Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I've got two kids hanging round my neck, what are you doing? Janis: no concern of yours Janis: check the socials if you're so interested Jimmy: you'll be grooming your horse or counting your cash, no need Jimmy: and now making yourself look #๐ฅ for the CG Janis: wow, you know me so well Janis: #flex when it counts Jimmy: [does like a cringey tweet for her or something] Jimmy: there Janis: ๐ Janis: sound cover it for today Jimmy: ๐ Janis: if you see a purse can you chuck it back to me Jimmy: after I've taken all the cash out, yeah Janis: ๐ don't carry cash Janis: it's got my gym card in it though so, if you do find it Jimmy: guess I'm working out today too then ๐ช๐ tah Janis: welcome Jimmy: [a moment cos he's looking for it genuinely] Jimmy: where do you want me to bring it? Janis: oh good Janis: you at work tomorrow Jimmy: Can't pull a sickie every day, can I? Jimmy: not cancer riddled yet Janis: cheery Janis: don't bother getting out your sickbed Janis: just give it to grace Jimmy: how's that gonna look? Jimmy: you're already not babysitting with me right now ๐ Janis: ๐ Janis: fine I'll come get it tomorrow then Jimmy: or meet me at the park by mine, get it, pose a bit and pretend you're with me today Janis: not really in the mood Janis: hungover or nah Jimmy: fake it Janis: that's precisely what I'm not in the mood for Janis: I ain't at home, just say I'm there Jimmy: hang on, I'll just photoshop you in Jimmy: won't be suss Janis: we don't need to be together 24/7 Janis: only that lot are that highkey Jimmy: you wanted highkey, mate Jimmy: and I just put my hand down the back of a fucking minging sofa for you, top that Janis: nah, that was definitely you Janis: ๐ Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: on it with your lies this morning, you Jimmy: just what I look for in a lass that ๐๐ Janis: bitch what lie, where Janis: highkey for highkey was 100% your line Jimmy: you said some shit about appealing to our audience first Jimmy: and that you didn't wanna scale it back so there's your lie, Jenna Janis: whatever Janis: I'm busy right now Janis: maybe I'll come by later Jimmy: I won't be walking the dog later, I'll be walking her in a bit Jimmy: gonna knock and run instead though Jimmy: ๐ Janis: fuck sake Janis: be there then Janis: not hanging about Jimmy: and I am? the shit you've gotta do ain't more important than mine, girl Janis: how'd you know Janis: not a competition anyway Jimmy: that'd be a first Janis: ha ha Janis: stop mucking about Janis: can you be there in 20? Jimmy: can you? Janis: obviously Jimmy: ๐ Janis: try and look like you're not dying Jimmy: late nights are #goals Jimmy: keep up Janis: if you leave out all actual details Janis: sure Jimmy: weren't gonna tweet 'em all out Janis: have you checked what you did put out Janis: always got to take back the bootycalls and texts to your ex before the PM Jimmy: I deleted my ex's number ages ago, we're all set Jimmy: only got the 1 Janis: ๐ Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: toodles my love Jimmy: ๐คข Janis: it's alright Janis: not gonna tell your manager on you when I'm there Jimmy: You'd have to run into him first Jimmy: even for an athlete like you, that's a challenge too far Janis: #officebants Janis: save it for Pete Jimmy: giving you a freebie to woo him with Jimmy: welcome Janis: if you knew how, you would've already Jimmy: might've done, how would you know? Jimmy: gotta keep it off the socials for your sake Janis: ๐ Janis: you think you'd be better at faking it by now Jimmy: oh you've got complaints, eh? Jimmy: go on Janis: don't you have an official procedure to follow Janis: another question to ask Jimmy: not on the clock, babe Janis: 'course Janis: so sick Janis: poor boy Jimmy: ๐ป๐ป๐ป Jimmy: I'll live Janis: wow, way to ruin my day Janis: ๐ Jimmy: too soon to start posting vent statuses probably Jimmy: poor little rich girl Janis: I'll deal with getting consoled on the low, like Jimmy: ๐ Janis: you gotta bring the kids or Jimmy: or what, lock 'em in? Janis: I dunno, your sister ain't that young is she Jimmy: she's not coming Janis: okay Janis: well I won't keep you Jimmy: I'm on the dog's ๐ฉ schedule not yours Janis: yeah but you know what I mean Jimmy: you're busy, you don't need to kill your horse to flog it, Jasmine Jimmy: point made Janis: if you like Jimmy: how? Janis: how? Jimmy: how are my likes owt to do with it? Janis: well that ain't what I meant so it must suit you at the very least Jimmy: what did you mean? Janis: that I ain't gonna hang 'round and cause drama Janis: I remember waking him up last night, like Jimmy: he's got swings and a slide and climbing frame, on top of a puppy to chase, he's not gonna give a shit about me or you Jimmy: my sister's the one being dramatic and as I said, she ain't coming Janis: well either way Janis: I shouldn't have come back, like so Jimmy: you didn't stay, it don't matter Janis: I know that ain't how it works Janis: got enough inconsiderate older brothers and sisters, like Jimmy: how it works is I was back later than I said Jimmy: nowt to do with you Janis: literally untrue Jimmy: you were there, don't mean you get it Jimmy: no need to unlock my family dynamics Janis: ain't trying or planning to Janis: I kept you out late and I'm trying to say soz so take it Jimmy: like you forced me, piss off Janis: didn't mean to get you in trouble with your boss, like Jimmy: you didn't Janis: sounds like it Jimmy: where you getting that from? Janis: she's giving you the ๐ฅถ out Jimmy: she's giving me the ๐ Jimmy: used to that Janis: ๐ป Janis: alright then, I'm here early Janis: gonna do some laps, text when you're here or something Jimmy: [appears not long after like oh hey but not texting cos can't be tamed] Janis: [when you're shook again but hide it like boy, putting your hand out like purse please] Jimmy: [chucks it at her obvs which makes Twix a little bit wild] Janis: [meet cute with the dog lmao, also saying hello to Bobby 'cos you aren't that rude] Jimmy: [when Bobby ain't saying hello back cos shy egg but Twix is friendly enough for everyone] Janis: [not gonna take it personal, like, even if this is so awks now, takes a few snaps of Twix and turns to him like yay or nay?] Jimmy: [takes some pics of her and Twix in response cos nothing fake about that love or cuteness and it's a good delaying tactic before you have to pose with the bae yourself] Janis: [takes him his messy self and is ๐ but can't be properly smug 'cos feeling it too] Janis: in* Jimmy: [he's literally ๐ but grumpier lol then he has to let Bobby take some pics cos the boy wanna do whatever he does like bear with bae] Janis: [when that's shamelessly cute so you just chill on a bench nearby, giving love to Twix when she comes 'round Jimmy: [when you go sit on a swing so your brother will but you gotta beckon her over to sit on it with you for the pics and it's gonna be so awks bye] Janis: [when you just have to commit to it 'cos overcompensate always] Jimmy: [taking so many pics and vids for the different angles honey] Janis: [when you're still looking #goals oh lads, as if you're not dying at having to be sat on him rn] Jimmy: [when he's likewise dying at her being on his lap though #don'tletherseedon'tletherknow] Janis: [you do not need this many pictures, hop off] Jimmy: [when you then spend 3x as long as it takes to go through 'em deleting etc cos the awks] Janis: send me any decent ones Jimmy: [does] Janis: tah Jimmy: ๐ Janis: have fun Jimmy: without you, never, baby ๐ Janis: [does lil lol as she's slowly walking away like okay then, but Twix keeps following so it's taking a while] Janis: come get your dog Jimmy: take it with you Janis: don't be mean Janis: it's adorable Jimmy: have it then Janis: the kid don't hate me yet, don't throw me under the bus as a ๐ถnapper Jimmy: he ain't noticed, on you go Janis: he will do Janis: you just want me to walk it, yeah Jimmy: Keep it Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: we need to buy one together and have a custody battle Jimmy: alright Jimmy: let's go adopt a new ๐ถ Janis: what breed Jimmy: what's #trending? Jimmy: leave this one tied to the roundabout, hang on Janis: not with your brother Janis: get rspca and social on you Jimmy: I'll send him home Jimmy: note pinned to his coat, like Janis: actually ๐ Jimmy: don't cry, you'll get a headache Janis: so comforting Janis: #baeoftheyear Jimmy: ๐ฅ or nowt darling Janis: I've had my vitamin c already Janis: but we can pretend you hit me with a smoothie of ๐ Janis: ew Jimmy: do you genuinely have a vomit kink or what? Jimmy: getting me close, girl ๐คข๐คข๐คข Jimmy: trying to put me off my ๐ before I've ordered it Jimmy: Mia would be proud Janis: hot Janis: ๐ฌ I didn't think that sentence through leave me alone Janis: I'm not on top form rn Jimmy: ๐ Jimmy: knew you were wrecked too Janis: not as much as you, boy Jimmy: I drank more than you, lightweight Janis: yeah, 'cos you stole it Janis: wanker Jimmy: you stole my jacket, I didn't wanna freeze to death Janis: I did not Janis: you wouldn't take it back Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: I remember being gutted it WAS you, trust me Jimmy: ๐๐๐ Janis: I know Janis: heartless, me Jimmy: You wanna fill that hole with pizza or keep flirting with me? Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: it's an easy question Jimmy: how many braincells did you ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๐๐ last night, pisshead? Janis: sounded sordid Janis: I was just wondering if #kinkunlocked Jimmy: Are you hungry or not? You know I'm a feeder Janis: Yeah, I could eat Jimmy: so come on back to the house of fun Janis: sure Jimmy: [rounding up dogs and kids like but Bobby's in a mood cos he wanna stay so Jimmy's like FINE I'll get it delivered to the park ffs so then he gotta text Cass to get her to come over lol] Janis: [moves closer to 'em again, sits on said roundabout Jimmy: [sits with her obvs when you lowkey lying there cos you feel crap] Janis: [popping out some painkillers like here boy] Jimmy: [when you dry swallow cos you ain't got a drink & then stick your tongue out to show her they gone cos you a nerd] Janis: [pat his head like he's a dog] Jimmy: [letting it happen] Janis: [pushing back his fringe 'cos sweaty forehead] Jimmy: [thank god he's got his shades on so he can look at her & she doesn't need to know that he isn't a grumpy boy in that moment] Janis: [when Bobby wants to be pushed so she's like is it okay if I do it 'cos Jimmy is in no fit state lol and Bobby is like okay 'cos just wants to be pushed and she ain't up in his face] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna be snapping sneaky pics of them cos cute. Also I like to imagine Twix annoying him as he's tryna chill lol] Janis: [just loling to herself 'cos also cute] Janis: probably go sleep on something that doesn't spin 'round and 'round, babe Jimmy: I'm not going to sleep, I'm ๐๐๐ing tah very much Jimmy: show some respect all of you Janis: ๐ Janis: I'll save the kind words and tears for when you gone Janis: gotta fake it 'til the end Jimmy: ๐๐๐ Jimmy: what do you wanna eat? pizza faves weren't on our couples questionnaire Janis: anything hot, anything with meat on Janis: I'm easy tbh Jimmy: ๐ Janis: Oh, shut up Jimmy: or what? Janis: or I'll come give you a push Jimmy: so fierce you ๐
Janis: better hope you never find out, boy Janis: ๐ Jimmy: ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ Jimmy: [a wild Cass appears and ignores everyone but Twix cos mad about last night still] Jimmy: you've got competition now, mate Janis: nah, you're on your own Janis: ๐คท soz Jimmy: ๐๐ Janis: got enough sisters of my own to deal with without taking on yours Janis: you'll need to fake marry a bitch for that level of service Jimmy: swap you Gracie, she likes me Jimmy: [goes to talk to Cass and she shouts at him as is their standard, really helping that headache] Janis: happily Janis: beats crying Jimmy: ๐ Janis: [Keeping Bobby busy running 'round the park like a crazy person] Jimmy: [if this weren't awks before thanks Cass just don't smack him his fake gf don't need to see that before she's even met you] Janis: she'll cheer up when pizza gets here Janis: all been hangry Jimmy: subtle hint that, Judith Janis: I'm being lovely, fuck off Jimmy: not to me Janis: you really gonna push a child off the swing to have a go Janis: not #goals mate, not #goals at all Jimmy: you really gonna let my sister think my girlfriend don't like me Jimmy: #savage Janis: Yeah, what she needs right now is some PDA Janis: love me for that, like Jimmy: you leapt to that, mate Jimmy: lads and lasses can talk you know Janis: You know I don't talk Janis: we been over this Janis: #specialsnowflakesyouandme Jimmy: we've been over this, you have to fake it Jimmy: I get that you really wanna kiss me but everything else Janis: ๐ Janis: you really want another woman in your face rn, fine Janis: [comes over like hey] Jimmy: [drags her far enough away that they can ๐ฌ without being around kids or dogs] Janis: [grateful for the break but also more awks 'cos just them again] Jimmy: [smoking in awkward silence such fun lads] Janis: [taps his head, not roughly, like, how're you doing now?] Jimmy: [shrugs because v helpful always] Janis: ['good talk' like ain't that what we're meant to be doing lmao] Jimmy: ['you don't wanna' like here's your out for a sec, take it] Janis: [goes to shake head but turns it into a shrug] Jimmy: [on his phone like an antisocial bitch] Janis: [when you're bouncing your legs up and down 'cos can't sit still at the best of times, just keeping an eye out for the pizza hardcore] Jimmy: [meanwhile you just straight up sit on the floor cos you realise you don't need to be standing rn] Janis: [Twix gonna jump you boy] Jimmy: [when you're like come here cos you don't want the dog in your grill so the bae MUST sit on you instead, that's just logical and nbd] Janis: [when you look at him like really?] Jimmy: [ just lifting your shades so you can look at her like come on] Janis: [does and gives him a look like 'I hate you so much' but when it's also a LOOK] Jimmy: [is ๐ but when she's sitting with her he's just touching her in the SOFTEST ways like playing with her hair & so lightly tracing her skin with a fingertip that you might think it's a bug or something lol cos tired af since he barely slept and is the softest boy] Janis: [when there's no faking that you ain't about it 'cos you have never felt anything on this level of soft so you don't know how you're meant to be so you're like help] Jimmy: [when you're then just leaning on her so its lowkey snuggling] Janis: [when you literally say 'what the fuck' but quietly and with feeling] Jimmy: [when you don't say anything cos what can you tbh] Janis: [gotta have that pizza show up to cockblock] Jimmy: [just casually gonna go eat pizza with the fam like that didn't happen okay boy] Janis: [when you're just there like do I stay or do I go] Jimmy: [when you literally handhold her over to the fam like eat your pizza but obvs its so fake bye] Janis: [palm a couple of slices and yeet babe like g2g bye] Jimmy: [Twix is ๐ we're all ๐] Janis: [give her some sneaky pizza kids] Jimmy: [nomming the crusts like a Roo] Janis: [getting tooty] Jimmy: [well that was awkward, thanks so much Jimothy] Janis: [later like early PM] Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: ? Janis: doesn't matter if I can't come over/you can't come out but just meet me for obligatory selfies to prove we're together Jimmy: where? Janis: doesn't matter, can be a #datenight or #cosynightinwithbae but gimme fake plans to get me out of real & unwanted ones Jimmy: alright Jimmy: come here then Janis: you home now? Jimmy: I'm not gonna send you somewhere I ain't, am I? Janis: alright smartarse Janis: was being courteous Janis: be there in fucking forever 'cos gotta get the bus in Jimmy: I just got out the shower if you need details, like Jimmy: you want me to meet you somewhere else? Janis: I did not need to know but I'll get the ๐ on then, tah Janis: nah, it's fine, got to get out this house anyway, wherever I'm going Jimmy: ๐ Jimmy: Tell Mia I missed her today before you go if she's there #obvs Janis: how did you know Janis: but get to fuck Janis: she's being avoided #obvs Jimmy: ๐๐ Jimmy: How did I recognise an #obvs SOS or the #obvs cause when I heard it? Janis: yeah well it's all your fault so you should be more ready to help Janis: #letdown tbh Jimmy: what have I done? Janis: they wouldn't be strongarming me into a sleepover if you weren't a thing Janis: but you can be my excuse too so do me a solid and make it good Jimmy: ๐ป๐ป๐ป Jimmy: you're v loved babe and you were before I took the job on Janis: oh yeah, so loved Janis: no doubt end up getting waterboarded for info Janis: #justgirlythings Jimmy: ๐ Janis: it is not funny ๐ก Jimmy: a bit Janis: ๐ Janis: swap places with me then Janis: sure they'd welcome that just as much Jimmy: if I wanted an orgy with 'em it'd have happened before now Janis: ๐คข Janis: literally shut up Jimmy: you should've got me to pick you up Janis: in what Janis: your sportscar Jimmy: ๐ Janis: I've got the ๐ don't I Jimmy: might've turned it to glue Jimmy: party animal you are Janis: is that what you're thinking then Janis: party? Jimmy: what are you wearing? Janis: ๐ the creep makes a return Janis: wys I should be wearing Janis: bus ain't even here yet so Jimmy: Look down, girl, are you night in ready or night out ready? Janis: I dunno, obviously I've not rolled out club-ready like a nutter Jimmy: stop pissing about and send me a picture ๐ Janis: ffs alright! Jimmy: โฒ Janis: [snap] Jimmy: fuck it, let's go out Janis: yeah? Janis: okay Jimmy: a knobhead from work is having people round, I weren't gonna bother but Ian's just got in Jimmy: don't wanna double with him and his missus Janis: definitely not Janis: nothing goals in that Janis: works for me Janis: not such a knobhead he'll have a dresscode, yeah? Jimmy: hot girls get to ignore dresscodes, how don't you know that? Janis: I would've probably put jeans on still Janis: what happens when you're forced from your own home without warning Jimmy: he wears shorts all year round, don't worry, like Janis: not got the legs for it Janis: I understand Jimmy: I'll dress the same as you mate, make it a #mood Jimmy: we're just one of them couples Janis: ha, if I use the # twinning not in reference to her, gracie will deffo cry Janis: worth it just for that Jimmy: there you go then Janis: ๐ Jimmy: I'm going shop so we ain't empty handed, what do you want? Janis: can't be THAT couple Janis: you want me to tell you I'm easy again 'cos Janis: not fussed Jimmy: my mum would cry, didn't drag me up like that ๐ Jimmy: ๐๐๐ Janis: such a ๐breaker you Janis: but really, just get more of whatever you want and that'll be fine, I'll get you back when I get there Jimmy: yeah yeah Jimmy: no need to flex rich girl Jimmy: you're a cheap date Jimmy: didn't even stay for icecream or owt earlier Janis: so I'm cheap and easy Janis: yeah, keep digging, like ๐ Jimmy: ๐๐๐๐คค๐คค๐คค Jimmy: have you not got a jacket or were you just #posing 'cause you're a massive flirt? Janis: why would I need a jacket when you're handing yours away like a philanthropic chippendale Janis: how dare you imply I was implying anything, also Jimmy: I can't even read them words Jimmy: too northern for that shit tah Jimmy: I'll just grab you one #OMG #soannoying Jimmy: how dare you flirt with me so openly, anyone'd reckon that's what snapchat was invented for or something Janis: Chippendales are SO northern, shut up Janis: I've done my research, I take this seriously, tah Janis: you know, too much nip for Insta, could post it on twitter if you're feeling too special rn Jimmy: I didn't get that far the word before it was well big and tripped me over Jimmy: as for my research the ๐ถ ate it, soz Janis: Cute but disappointing Janis: if I was to give you a yelp review Jimmy: she is Jimmy: get used to that Janis: omg Janis: so mean Jimmy: ๐ถ๐ Janis: We're gonna make a club Janis: get jackets that ain't yours Jimmy: you're so fake Jimmy: couldn't do one fast enough from her before Janis: oh yeah, that's deffo what that was Jimmy: ain't stopped crying 'bout it, the poor pup Jimmy: ๐ป๐ป Janis: again, your fault Janis: and you ain't even sorry Janis: poor, poor pup Jimmy: I only take the blame for shit I ain't done for my real girlfriends Janis: plural now Jimmy: past and future, duh Janis: duh indeed Janis: hopeful Janis: it's cute Jimmy: say what you really think, Janet Janis: always do Jimmy: [sends her pic of his outfit] Jimmy: Go on then Janis: I mean Janis: not as good as me but you'll do Jimmy: ๐ Janis: ๐ป๐ค Jimmy: don't let me get as wrecked Jimmy: If I have to call in sick tomorrow an' all, you'll have to pay me Janis: So I'm babysitter Janis: alright Janis: easy Jimmy: I've done it all day, swapsies Janis: not me Jimmy: could've if you'd been here Janis: you reckon Janis: last I remember you was about half ๐๐๐ Jimmy: you're calling yourself high maintenance now? Jimmy: easy a bit ago Janis: just saying Janis: you needed looking after more than me Jimmy: leave it out Janis: why Jimmy: why not be a massive dickhead? Jimmy: up to you that Janis: you wanna play nice? Janis: n'awh Jimmy: you're the one asking me for a favour Jimmy: so you do Janis: nah Janis: I asked for a photo, that's all Jimmy: stop being a twat Janis: charming Jimmy: you just said you don't want that Janis: you're very, very annoying Jimmy: ๐๐๐ Janis: but I'm on the bus Jimmy: congrats, mate Jimmy: I know it's beneath you ๐ Janis: piss off Janis: I spend half my life on this fucking bus Jimmy: shouldn't have done your ๐ in Janis: s'what happens when I'm done w you Jimmy: ๐ป๐ป๐ป Janis: got my headphones but thank you Janis: efforts are always appreciated, boy Jimmy: ๐ don't mention it, babe Jimmy: anything for you obvs Janis: too kind Jimmy: ๐ Jimmy: let me know when you're about then Janis: yeah 'course Janis: it's about half an hour so Jimmy: ๐ Janis: damn Janis: how haven't I asked Janis: is my fave barista gonna be there or what Jimmy: ??? Jimmy: man of mystery him Janis: how irritating yet attractive of him Jimmy: I keep telling you, slide into his DMs, girl Jimmy: sort it out Janis: not right now Janis: biding my time Jimmy: probably got a gig anyway ๐คฉ๐คฉ Janis: exactly Jimmy: if I had anywhere else better to be Janis: what you gonna do eh Jimmy: ๐ป๐ Janis: gutted Jimmy: give us a chance to get in the door before you leave your review Jimmy: bit rude shouting it from a bus window Janis: that's me Janis: got money but no manners Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: ๐ what mine or yours Janis: #transparent Jimmy: weren't speaking for you Jimmy: we ain't that couple Janis: ๐ถ๐ถ Janis: that couple Jimmy: ๐ Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: What? Janis: how much of last night do you remember Janis: 'cos my memory is a bit fucked Jimmy: after I lifted that bottle, I dunno, why? Jimmy: Does it matter? Janis: probably not, no Janis: just Janis: idk Jimmy: Just? Janis: It ain't my usual thing Janis: losing massive chunks of time like that Jimmy: doing shots ain't my usual thing, is it yours? Janis: no Jimmy: none tonight then Janis: not for you, anyway Janis: I don't need to work ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ Jimmy: you ain't doing 'em without me, you dickhead Janis: ๐ Janis: fine Janis: be doubly entertaining then Jimmy: 1. full time job holding all that hair back tah and I'm on the clock enough Jimmy: 2. piss off I'm the CG's top employee so goes without saying life and soul of this party Janis: 1. I could put it up, IF I was going to vom but that's so unlikely it's almost an impossibility so Janis: 2. I don't work there so your shop bants will have no effect on me and I'm the one you're trying to please here Jimmy: 1. your kink is so blatant shut up oh my god Jimmy: 2. you'll be pleased by all the drinks I just bought #easy Janis: 1. ๐ Janis: 2. ๐ Janis: do you wanna get me drunk or nah, make up your mind, lad Jimmy: Baby, don't be expressionless, it's ๐ Janis: [pulls stupid face to send him] Janis: โค๐ซ Jimmy: my heart has grown back! and loads of sizes ๐ Janis: #humblebrag Jimmy: send that tweet Janis: โค or ๐ lads, you decide Janis: I'll start a poll Jimmy: ๐ Jimmy: Why did you fuck off last night, is that in the black hole or what? Janis: I can't remember exactly Janis: just weird fragments that don't quite fit together like I've got it secondhand or something Jimmy: go on Janis: it don't make any sense Janis: but like you said, doubt it matters Jimmy: probably not Janis: I am p sure it weren't 'cos we woke any of your fam up or something so Janis: so don't need to worry Jimmy: that was before and only our kid Jimmy: he always wakes up when I come back Jimmy: if he was even asleep Janis: yeah, I remember that too Janis: did you get him to sleep in the end Jimmy: ๐ค๐ค Janis: what? Jimmy: did I get water? If he let me do that I must've Janis: Yeah Janis: 'cos you scared the shit out of me Jimmy: Did I? ๐ Janis: I thought that was earlier but no, yeah Janis: definitely on the sofa Janis: softer than the park Jimmy: You scared me earlier Jimmy: that's why Janis: did I? Jimmy: I was walking and you showed up like ๐ป๐ช๐ช Janis: how mean Janis: sounds legit, I believe you Jimmy: well creepy that was Jimmy: tah Janis: you're the creeper Jimmy: leave that right out Janis: didn't say I hated it Jimmy: didn't say you liked it Janis: what's it to you Jimmy: nowt Janis: ๐ Janis: there we go then Jimmy: what kind of picture do you need? Janis: just one to prove we're somewhere doing something Janis: I was purposely vague about our plans in case you were already out or something Jimmy: ๐ Janis: no way I was sleeping in a room with Mia in Janis: actually end up ๐ป Jimmy: you can stay at mine if you want, she'll probably use your pillow for black magic Jimmy: or spooning Jimmy: bit rude of us not to lend her a sharpie so she could draw your face on Jimmy: turn the bus around like Janis: ๐ Janis: don't, it's too real and it makes me feel uncomfortable Janis: defs looking for hair and fingernails as we speak Jimmy: How haven't I drawn you and sold it to her for ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ Jimmy: going soft me Janis: always on the clock, babe Janis: it'll kill your creativity/soul Janis: ๐ Jimmy: I bet you real cash she'd eat it ๐ Jimmy: what are the calories of paper and pencil? Janis: anything over negative is too high, but she'd get the pleasure of puking me up that way so Janis: it's a must Jimmy: can't compete with such romance, fuck me ๐ Janis: well she gets to fuck everyone so only fair Jimmy: not me Jimmy: or you Janis: โโ Jimmy: your sister 100% Janis: ๐คข Janis: disgusting Jimmy: trying to get you to vom 'cause you're so into it and I'm that kind of boyfriend ๐ค Janis: ๐๐๐ Janis: easier ways, I'm sure Janis: but know you're an ๐จ Jimmy: alright, challenge accepted Jimmy: ๐ Janis: no shots, remember Jimmy: nowts a shot unless it's in a shot glass Janis: yeah, that's how that works Janis: ๐ Jimmy: means I have everything to play with and more space to mix it Janis: oh god Jimmy: bigger measures for you to down too Janis: I'm babysitting you, remember Jimmy: You just might die trying though, Juliet Janis: behave Jimmy: or what? Janis: find out Jimmy: alright Janis: alright Jimmy: is your bus anywhere near yet, it's fucking miserable out here Janis: you don't wanna wait inside Jimmy: weren't given the nod for that one Jimmy: Ian threw his weight about and me out Jimmy: earnt himself some ๐๐๐ Janis: Gross Janis: wtf Jimmy: ๐ป and ๐คข Janis: well, we ain't that far Janis: you should get a head start on the drinks if you ain't Jimmy: ๐ Janis: is he gonna let you back in later Janis: you could come back to mine but you would have to pretend to have crazy hot sex with me if the coven is still lurking so Jimmy: ๐ Jimmy: Cass'll post a key through Janis: ๐ Janis: gotta stick together vs the 'rents Jimmy: we can't be as late back though Janis: yeah Janis: whenever's fine Jimmy: you're easy, I get it Janis: shut up ๐ Janis: the favour is the alibi, anything else is just extra Jimmy: most of my wage is tips, I'm gonna keep you out all night now Jimmy: habit Janis: so above and beyond, babe ๐ Jimmy: ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ Jimmy: can you remember what we drew? should go check out the finished masterpiece #๐จ Jimmy: got a mental image of you sucking on the end of my sharpie there but otherwise nowt much Janis: Filth Janis: ๐ Janis: when we find out it's as intelligible as smeared shit on the walls, like but seemed like a masterpiece at the time Jimmy: when you reckon its ๐ฅ but it ain't even ๐ฅ Jimmy: #tragic Janis: hopefully we didn't sign it ๐ฑ Jimmy: shit I probably did do! Jimmy: cut my hand off instead of my ear so I can't be that dickhead Jimmy: still post it to you though ๐ Janis: this country ain't quite THAT religious Janis: but romantic Janis: I'll keep it in a jar Jimmy: I won't tell you I'm ambidextrous and it's another scam, that'll take the shine right off the gesture Jimmy: and that's witchcraft in the north if it ain't here Jimmy: gotta take the secret to my grave naturally Janis: you are SUCH a show-off Janis: but I'm left-handed so we can get burnt together Jimmy: don't be a HATER when I'm trusting you with my secrets Jimmy: obvs you are #evil twin Jimmy: so romantic though #datenight ๐ฅ๐ Janis: it's just REALLY obvious you want me to ask what them hands do Jimmy: if you need to ask I'm not fake dating you hard enough Jimmy: the answer is obviously ๐ฌ and โ Janis: yeah yeah, I'll study when I need to Janis: you're easy too Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm well hard ๐ช Janis: ๐ Janis: mhmm Janis: if anyone asks Jimmy: you ran away from them questions mate Jimmy: ๐๐ will be in my DMs asking herself Janis: well excuse me for not sticking around to stroke your ego and quench their thirst Janis: not interested in either soz Jimmy: ๐๐ Janis: what better review than I gotta run to you soon as your mentioned? Janis: think on, boy Jimmy: ๐ Jimmy: I never said you were bad at this Janis: not directly anyway Janis: you can say I'm good, go on Jimmy: You're SO good baby ๐๐๐ Janis: ๐ Janis: ๐ฉ๐ฆ Jimmy: ๐คค๐คค๐คค Janis: so in the party mood now Janis: and not a moment too soon, just pulling up, like Jimmy: [waves cos let's say he went there cos sick of sitting on his doorstep] Janis: [snaps a pic 'cos #goals and gets off the bus like ๐ 'don't have to convince the driver how in love we are do we, 'cos I can run at you if you're feeling it?'] Jimmy: [throws a jacket at her cos always and a distraction from how much he'd love that] Janis: [when you appraise it like you've been really fashion and you're not sure but obvs you put it on with a grin and a 'tah'] Jimmy: [๐ but a playful one so also ๐] Janis: ['can you lead the way this time or am I your personal satnav again?] Jimmy: [playfully dragging her off by the arm cos actually does know where he's going but gotta take her to the pub or something first anyway cos you can't show up this early] Janis: [lowkey happy nerds always] Jimmy: [throws her snacks he bought for her when he bought the drinks cos she didn't stay for much pizza and he don't know if she got to eat at hers before she ran away #considerate] Janis: ['#feeder' but nudges him like thanks and noms] Jimmy: [nudges her back and gives her his phone so she can reply to Mia again cos fave] Janis: [when you ๐ but not playfully at her lack of shame lmao] Jimmy: [give it up gurl Grace fancied him anyways so #girlcode] Janis: [always hitting her with those exclusive selfies lol] Jimmy: [love that, going harder than you need to always] Janis: [shudders 'if you ever go there, actually got no respect for you' Jimmy: ['if I ever go there, kill me. Tah. Don't wanna live without my dick when it shrivels and falls off'] Janis: [lols and does a ๐ with her hands like poor baby 'I'll put you out of your misery, mate; what are friends for, after-all'] Jimmy: [nods his thanks and offers her a ๐ฌ] Janis: [shakes her head but takes it okay gurl] Jimmy: [lights it for her as per before his own even cos pecking order] Janis: [tips her imaginary hat to him] Jimmy: [walking and smoking as standard] Janis: ['So, on a scale of manager to Pete, where does this one fall? Need to know how small to make my talk, like'] Jimmy: ['if manager Dave is 0, this lad is like a 2' does the ๐ with his hands like unlucky] Janis: [makes ott disappointed face 'damn, weather and sports it is, okay'] Jimmy: [makes an OTT pouty face to hide the fact he's actually jealous because in my head this lad is 'cute' but in like a really basic way haha] Janis: [pinches his cheeks like a grandmother] Jimmy: [playfight moment] Janis: [always a moment, don't mind them] Jimmy: [let her win though cos we know its real] Janis: [irl ๐ช] Jimmy: [dramatic bow down cos he's a nerd] Janis: ['you're welcome' ๐] Jimmy: [gives her a bottle of whatever like shhh] Janis: ['Slainte' and knocking it back 'cos start as you mean to go on] Jimmy: [giving her like a steady on kinda look but is ๐ for #bants not concern vibe cos can't say anything actually cos he's as bad we know] Janis: ['don't worry, I'll keep it from you' and not passing it and another swig with a grin 'cos best babysitter ever] Jimmy: [takes it cos gotta prove you're still ๐ช and takes a swig with a cheeky wink and it's hotter than it needs to be thank you boy] Janis: [when you can't even be mad but you have a go at pretending still 'cos otherwise] Jimmy: [pass it back like love me again] Janis: [just having a time, don't mind them] Jimmy: [realistically how far can this pub be so enjoy yourselves in these streets while you can lads] Janis: [also where you putting these bottles lads] Jimmy: [let's hope he has some kind of bag with him for the unopened ones at least cos can't show up empty handed] Janis: [my boo is horrified lmao] Jimmy: [he had snacks too so he weren't carrying all that #justsayin] Janis: [you silly, also get a round in girl] Jimmy: [when this bit will probs be better than the party lbr] Janis: [ahh shit house parties, perfect bonding ground ๐] Jimmy: [we know you can make it look fun for the socials kids] Janis: [when she defs would've got him something and coke so she could pretend it was just coke for a hot sec lmao] Jimmy: [such a cute nerd move he'd have to lol] Janis: [when he's shamelessly got a cute laugh bye] Jimmy: [when you make her play darts or pool or whatever cos you lost the playfight and you wanna win] Janis: [always down for a competition] Jimmy: [but she should win again so he's a sulky bitch] Janis: come on, be my mate Janis: [kicking, but gently lol, under the table] Jimmy: [is ๐ and ignoring like hmmm just gonna drank and play with this beermat] Janis: [kicks a bit harder like oi] Janis: you're rude Jimmy: [gives her a look like what?] Jimmy: ๐ป๐ป Janis: ๐ Janis: another one or Jimmy: ๐ป Janis: missed the please Janis: work on the thank you for when I'm back ๐ Janis: [goes] Jimmy: soz mum Janis: don't make it weird Jimmy: like she were in the room there then Jimmy: it was weird Janis: ๐ Janis: shut up Jimmy: it was rude a bit ago when I tried that Jimmy: make your mind up Janis: don't have to Janis: if I'm a mum I'm always right 'cos I say so Jimmy: if you're impersonating mine you ain't Janis: I'm not going method Janis: and if that's a #kinkunlocked I gotta go like Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you're making it weirder than I went for Janis: then shh Jimmy: I get it, telling me what to do is one of yours Jimmy: I wouldn't have reckoned on you as that predictable but alright Janis: piss off Janis: I don't wanna be your mommy Jimmy: ๐ Janis: [come back with that drink huffily and just be on your phone] Jimmy: [down it cos that's the mood] Janis: [awks again] Jimmy: [gdi Jimothy you're always making the vibe off] Jimmy: [just on socials putting in that werk like you're love's young dream for her though cos as close to a sorry as we're getting rn is when its working and the fans are loving your efforts so bae's getting all the notifications] Janis: nice work Jimmy: [shrugs and goes to get more drinks like here's a real peace offering] Janis: [nods head like tah and does small smile but genuine] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling back cos she's so cute bye] Janis: [just showing him all the highkey responses and loling] Jimmy: [take a moment to bond over how ridiculous everyone is like] Janis: [just like why do they care so much] Jimmy: [we know its cos you two walking around looking like models] Janis: [#hotcouplealert] Jimmy: [gotta do the jj love heart doodle everywhere they go soz to the tabletop but not] Janis: [snap that honey] Jimmy: [also take a moment to text Cass and make sure she's alright boy] Jimmy: [okay but Cass sending him a pic he drew of jj on the swing together cos she's like why are you gross but you upload that art to your insta because #fans] Jimmy: {Bobby drew it not Jimmy lol] Janis: ['He's so cute'] Jimmy: ['And talented. Made you look cute an' all' boy stop playing you think she's hot af] Janis: [makes 'oh please' noise, 'gives you a run for your money, deffo'] Jimmy: [kicks her like she did to him earlier but is ๐ not ๐] Janis: [squeezes his arm in a pisstakey supportive way like 'it'll be okay, babe'] Jimmy: [flicks some drink at her face like you did to me the other day] Janis: ['you want this whole drink on your head or what? but not actually mad 'cos always here for the flirty bants over awks any day] Jimmy: ['or what' because always gonna say that, giving her such a LOOK excuse you Jimothy you're too sober for this] Janis: [just a LOOK back] Jimmy: [when he just leans across the table and it's such a kiss moment but instead he wipes her face for her with the sleeve of whatever hoodie he has on but that's even more intimate so how dare you tbh] Janis: [when you're so ๐ณ you're like gotta go loo bye] Jimmy: [just shamelessly watch her go we all know it] Jimmy: get on a move on, we're going after Janis: alright, piss police Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: not a kink before you say it tah Janis: yeah, how defensive you were dead sold that one, mate ๐ Jimmy: ๐ Jimmy: it's a bit of a fucking walk and you're the only one getting a boner for exercise round here, Julie Janis: I already knew you couldn't keep up, babe Janis: didn't need to admit it Janis: I'll go slow for you ๐ Janis: [comes out like ready] Jimmy: stay here and take it slow with the barman if you're gonna be a dickhead Jimmy: [is walking ahead like excuse you I'm so ๐ช] Janis: [hangs back like she's pondering but then shrugs and follows being loud like 'He's not my type so shoot your shot if you're feeling it'] Jimmy: [mimes a ๐ป] Janis: ['Don't be sad, with no competition from me, you stand a chance now' encouraging ๐ up] Jimmy: [ignoring cos so mature] Janis: [walking annoyingly close to him like speeding up when he does and slowing down when he do like you can't ignore me boy] Jimmy: [๐ฌ without offering her one like yeah I can] Janis: [just a look and noise like wow, it be like that, yeah?] Jimmy: [does the dramatic look around like oh did I hear something cos nerd] Janis: ['I friggin' hate you, you know'] Jimmy: [gives her a bemused look cos no you don't] Janis: [snatches that ๐ฌ so rudely] Jimmy: [lights another for himself with an OTT sigh] Janis: ['what you being a dickhead for?'] Jimmy: ['what are you always trying to pimp me out for?'] Janis: ['you what?'] Jimmy: [I said, what are you always trying to pimp me out to the locals for? If I was #dtf I wouldn't be fake dating you, would I?'] Janis: ['Erm, obviously, it was a joke; if you needed or wanted a wingman, I ain't interested, trust'] Jimmy: ['so hilarious you'] Janis: ['Jesus, sorry, forget I said anything'] Jimmy: [shugs like consider my memory erased] Janis: [when you start walking ahead but only a bit 'cos you don't know where you're going so can't fully walk off, like] Jimmy: [when you obvs catch her up and are walking in step like you can't ignore me either this goes both ways] Janis: [the most exasperated look] Jimmy: ['what?' cos I must] Janis: ['Don't even'] Jimmy: [don't even what?' he's so annoying omg] Janis: ['Stop it, I swear to GOD'] Jimmy: [gives her a look that's stop what? cos not gonna say it but such a twat still] Janis: ['fuck this' under her breath and actual walking off] Jimmy: [not gonna let her so following 'what was it you said? be my mate, come on'] Janis: ['you don't wanna be mates' and looking ahead keeping walking] Jimmy: ['for someone who don't wanna be my mum you're about as determined to fuck off'] Janis: [just turning around like what but not actually saying it] Jimmy: ['you don't wanna go home and neither do I, so let's just go to the party, yeah?'] Janis: [shrugs 'whatever'] Jimmy: [drags her back in the right direction but really gently] Janis: ['this don't mean we're friends'] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna be friends with you' cos ain't that the truth] Janis: [just trying not to look so hurt] Jimmy: ['And I am a dickhead, there's your answer for why I was being one'] Janis: ['I don't care'] Jimmy: ['why'd you ask then?'] Janis: ['Didn't say I didn't at the time, it's irrelevant now'] Jimmy: [hits her with a shrug of his own] Janis: [nods like exactly] Jimmy: [gives her a look like wtf is that meant to mean as if he don't know] Janis: ['how much further?] Jimmy: [tells her, let's pretend not that far but far enough they gotta walk awkwardly for a bit longer] Janis: [picks up pace] Jimmy: [does a bit but not that much cos unfit af] Janis: ['gimme the bag'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like um no] Janis: [gives him a ffs look back 'give it here or hurry up, like'] Jimmy: [goes slower cos that bitch aka me] Janis: ['I might not wanna go home but I can still think of better things to do, seriously'] Jimmy: ['Go and do 'em then'] Janis: ['I tried to but you stopped me and I gave you a second chance for some fucking reason but fuck this now'] Jimmy: ['We're pissing distance from this lad's back garden, stop being a knobhead'] Janis: ['You ain't thinking this through, why the hell would we wanna be somewhere we've gotta fake all of this a moment longer?'] Jimmy: ['why do we have to fake owt? You wanted one pic, we've uploaded shitloads'] Janis: ['Um, because it'll look fucking weird if we ain't couply when everyone at this party knows we're meant to be'] Jimmy: ['Mia treats 'em like staff they ain't gonna gossip with her like besties'] Janis: ['You go in and do what you like then, I've got no reason to be here'] Jimmy: ['there's reasons'] Janis: ['yeah' purposefully sounding ambiguous to as if that was a question or nah] Jimmy: ['Are you gonna make me say 'em or what?'] Janis: [when you're just like 'ha' 'cos clearly not happening and just start walking with again like alright] Jimmy: [give her an I hate you look that so isn't] Janis: ['I got it, yeah, now can you fucking light up, I need to smoke before going in there'] Jimmy: [does because it's his job 5ever] Janis: [just smoking your feelings lol] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: ['why don't you wanna be my friend?'] Jimmy: ['why do you wanna be my friend?'] Janis: ['why are you incapable of answering a question straight?'] Jimmy: ['for someone who don't care why do you care so fucking much?'] Janis: ['if I ask a question, I want an answer, simple'] Jimmy: ['what if it's not?' fucked yourself then, ain't you, mate'] Janis: ['that ain't the point, I'm asking what you think, what you know, whatever the fuck the context is, I don't ask you so you can turn it around on me like I don't know all that about me already'] Jimmy: ['the point is, rich girl, this ain't your world, your parents just paid for a bigger house on a nicer bit of it, and I don't properly work for you sweetheart, so I can do owt I like. Better yet speech is free and I can say whatever the fuck I wanna an' all.'] Janis: ['yeah? and what are you saying then, Jimmy? fuck all. so if you'll excuse me-' and bowling inside like you know this lad personally but you know he ain't gonna mind] Jimmy: [staying outside as if that makes a bit of difference or any real deliberate point other than you can't be around the bae] Jimmy: Alright, what I'm saying is I don't wanna do this anymore Jimmy: deal's off Janis: Alright Janis: fine Janis: thanks for telling me Jimmy: ๐ Janis: any reason why beyond the obvious or Jimmy: why are the reasons any of your business? Jimmy: in the fine print was it, that Janis: because I was in it too and I'd tell you if I just switched out of nowhere with no warning Jimmy: figure it out Janis: ๐ Jimmy: I just want out, we can do it however you like Jimmy: take the night and sort it Janis: wow generous Jimmy: that's me Janis: I don't need time, it's easy Janis: I'll get with this lad, you can 'find' out Jimmy: I'm not making you look bad that's not part of it Janis: How do you reckon on making me look good Jimmy: He's a fucking 2, we can do more than that for you, like Janis: You wanna vet the lad I fake cheat with Janis: that's not mental at all Jimmy: 'cause all of this has been dead sane Janis: yeah, and you want out so you can quit acting like you remotely give a shit Jimmy: calm it down Jimmy: it don't look great for me if you fake fuck my ugly co-workers Janis: welll I DON'T care Janis: you said I can do it however I like Jimmy: I reckoned on you being smart when I said that is why Janis: nah you reckoned on me caring to make you look good too, why should I Jimmy: it was the deal if nowt else Janis: the deal is off, by your request Jimmy: you're such a massive dickhead Janis: you Jimmy: you don't get it Janis: what don't I get Jimmy: what do you get? Janis: piss off if you're starting that again Janis: came in here to get away from that Jimmy: you can't answer it 'cause the answer is nowt Jimmy: but you think we can be mates Janis: and you do? alright Janis: you don't answer anything so glass houses Janis: pot kettle, whatever else Jimmy: ๐ Janis: bye Jimmy: what are you gonna do? Janis: wanna be more specific Jimmy: Do I need to? Janis: yep Jimmy: ๐ Jimmy: Are you gonna drag that twat into it or what? Janis: not that I owe you shit Janis: but I'll pick someone you don't work with Jimmy: or think of a better idea Janis: it's a great idea Jimmy: How? Janis: you get the sympathy vote and to be mr good guy and I get to show I don't give a shit so they can miss me with the told you it wouldn't lasts and whatever else they're dying to Janis: win win Jimmy: if I wanted a popularity ๐ instead of being left alone Janis: your personality will put 'em off give it 5 minutes Jimmy: piss off Janis: you know I'm right Jimmy: I know you're fuming Janis: about what, exactly Janis: being stupid enough to ever agree to this, yeah, I am actually Jimmy: ๐๐ป๐ Janis: whatever Jimmy: [i'm using the weather and saying it's just started to rain heavy so he has to come inside or else he never will] Janis: [chatting to some rando and trying not to look his way even though of course you notice] Jimmy: [when you go up to her to give her a drink cos you're jealous af and you want said random to fuck off] Janis: [when you look at it like you've never seen a drink before in your life 'you trying to poison me now?' whoever this lad is should run 'cos no need to be involved in this drama] Jimmy: [lowkey force her to take it so rude 'drown your sorrows, girl'] Janis: [that's deffo getting thrown at you like I'm sorry boy] Jimmy: ['when you have to go find a towel now if you didn't before RIP to the bathroom with you] Janis: [when you have to either go outside or find somewhere in this gaff to be alone 'cos people love drama and would be being so annoying] Jimmy: [100% gonna look for her when he's done though cos king of the mixed message if she's outside I'm gonna lol cos you're getting wet again boy] Janis: [probably 'cos realistically how big is this house that there's a room no other fucker is in lmao] Jimmy: [unlucky dickhead] Janis: [wherever the nearest available shelter is, whether that's a tree or a bus stop, whatever] Jimmy: [either way #mood and he's finding her there, popping up v unwanted] Janis: [when you see him coming and it's like literally wtf boy 'I swear down, Jimmy, do not'] Jimmy: [when you just kiss her as hard as you fucking can because this is over and wtf do you have to lose and you're thinking you'll just walk away after okay boy well done truly you messy slag] Janis: [when you go for it even though you reckon you definitely shouldn't now because you feel something so got to chase it 'til you can't no more] Jimmy: [the most ridiculously intense make out of all time casually happening until he breaks it off cos when there's too much drama at school you gotta walk awaaaaaaaaaaay] Janis: Pussy Jimmy: ๐๐๐๐๐ Jimmy: brutal Janis: fuck you Jimmy: you wanted an answer so bad, there it is Jimmy: take it Janis: no, as per with you it was just more questions Jimmy: might've been able to find some answers in the bottom of that bottle you chucked at me Jimmy: so hasty you Janis: should've kept it then Janis: you need it more than me Jimmy: I've got others Janis: I'm so pleased for you Jimmy: ๐ Janis: Stop talking to me Jimmy: stop talking to me Janis: gladly Jimmy: ๐
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Shelter Chapter 2 by Shawnie1718 ao3
The next week, Lucasโs heat hits him like a truck. He had planned for it, since he had stopped taking his suppressants in order to trigger the heat. However, when he woke up, he was covered in sweat and slick and was overtaken by the worst headache in the world. Lucas quickly ran to the bathroom to take some Motrin for the cramps. He downed the pills two at a time and glanced in the mirror.
Lucas groaned and rubbed at his under eye bags. He looked like crap, which usually happens during his heats. He isnโt one of those lucky Omegas that tend to look like literal angels whenever they go into heat. However, Mika has said that Lucas smells like an absolute dream, which means his roommate has to wear a clothespin on his nose to avoid accidentally breathing in Lucasโs scent and triggering any of his Alpha instincts of domination to take over.
Lucas trudges back to his bed. He strips off his shirt and pants as he feels the fire inside him start to burn. Great, the best part. He whines involuntarily as he climbs back in bed, pulling his pillow close to him, his inner Omega crying out for some type of skin-to-skin contact. He just wants someone to roam their hands down his back and cuddle him until he falls asleep.
Lucas groans into his blanket. He hates being an Omega.
When he wakes up later in the afternoon, he absolutely reeks. He definitely smells like an Omega in heat. He reaches for his phone, the bright screen not helping his headache at all.
@srodulv sent you a message!
Lucas felt like his heart was about to jump out of his chest. Eliott must have sent him something while he was asleep. Lucas eagerly opened up the message.
@srodulv: two weeks and one day!
Lucas smiled, the idiot was counting down the days until their planned meet-up. Good thing Lucas had his heat now, rather than having to move it around the meet up with Eliott.
@lucallament: wow what a romantic.
@srodulv: well, I have to be the romantic for both of us. All you like to do is make fun of me!
@lucallament: โค๏ธ
@lucallament: is that better?
@srodulv: much ๐
Lucas purred. He purred. Has he ever purred before? Maybe once when he was ten.
As they continued texting Lucasโs inner Omega was sprinting around inside him. Begging Lucas to ask Eliott to come to his apartment. To hug him. To take care of him. Of course, Lucas did none of the above. He managed to suppress the urges and down another Motrin.
@srodulv: oh! I got another house plant by the way!
@lucallament: I wonder how long itโs going to take you to kill this one.
@srodulv: D:
@srodulv: do you wanna see it?
@lucallament: sure! Send a photo?
@srodulv: I was thinking more of a video.
@lucallament: that works too
@srodulv: well, more of like a video chat.
Lucas froze. How could he FaceTime Eliott right now? In the middle of his heat? Well, he is still in phase one. The phase where he just wants to nap 24/7, so his hormones havenโt completely taken over. Also, what would happen if he rejected? He didnโt want to make Eliott feel bad...
@lucallament: okay, give me one sec.
Lucas dashed around his room, placing anything away that may give Eliott a clue as to Lucasโs situation at the moment. He forced all his dirty clothes into his hamper, and nesting blankets folded neatly at the end of his bed. His inner Omega growled at the fact that he would have to rebuild the nest later, but it will have to suffice. Lucas quickly slipped on a clean sweatshirt before clicking the call button. His heart was pumping in his ears, making it seem as if his whole head was shaking.
Suddenly, Eliottโs face appeared on Lucasโs laptop and Lucas became hyper aware how much he, himself, looked like crap. And how goddamned photoshopped Eliott looks.
๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝSalut!โ Eliott greeted.
Lucas smiled, โsalut.โ
Shit, this boy really is gorgeous. Lucas thought as Eliottโs image suddenly started moving. He had gotten up from some type of sitting arrangement. A couch? And walked into another room, flicking on a bright light.
โYou look...cute?โ Eliott questioned and breathed a laugh.
Lucas rolled his eyes, โif I look so bad I may as well just go.โ Lucas said and threatened to close his laptop screen.
โNo! No!โ Eliott said frantically, โI just hope I didnโt catch you at a bad time.โ
Lucas shrugged, not the best. โI just didnโt get much sleep last night.โ And my butt is sticking to my pants and all I want to do is sleep.
โIโm sorry,โ Eliott said, and it seemed like heโs genuinely sorry. Lucas swallowed the purr that was making its way up his throat. โWell, I hope my new plant can brighten your day!โ Eliott said, his shoulders shrugging happily before flipping the camera around. โTada!โ
Lucas gasped and his smile widened, โoh! Forget-me-nots!โ
He could hear Eliott chuckle from behind the camera. โYeah! They caught my eye when I was at the store today. I was between them and a hydrangea.โ
โWhat made you choose the forget-me-not?โ
The camera flipped around and... was that a blush coating Eliottโs cheeks? โWell, it reminded me of someone,โ his eyes found sudden interest in anything except the camera.
Holy shit this boy will be the death of him, โtheyโre really pretty.โ Lucas said, trying to make his heart calm down. Doesnโt help that his heat is upon him, making everything that Eliott says, everything that Eliott does, resonate inside him. โUh, anyways, why did you want to video chat?โ
Eliott shrugs again and licks his lips briefly. Lucas feels victimized by the action. โI donโt know...I mean itโs lonely here in Japan,โ Eliott laughs, โI guess I wanted a taste of back home. Oh!โ Eliott exclaimed, nearly spooking Lucas, โI met a fan on the street and look what they gave me!โ When Eliott came back into frame he was wearing a fluffy white bunny hat. And...were the ears flopping? Lucas felt like he was going to implode from cuteness overload.
Lucas bursts into laughter. But after Eliott places the hat back down, Lucasโs eyes soften. He can totally relate to the feeling when youโre far from home. When he goes out on tours, within the first couple weeks he already begins to feel homesick. โWell, if there is anything I can do to help you feel better...โ
Eliott moves again, this time through a couple sets of doors and flops down on a...bed? โWould you sing me something?โ Even though the bottom half of Eliottโs face is covered by a pillow, Lucas can still see the smile taking over his face and the crinkle of his eyes into half crescents.
Lucas feels anxious, stomach churning, palms sweating. โI...donโt know. My voice isnโt the best right now.โ
โThen could you play something on an instrument for me?โ
Lucas pauses, โsure. What instrument?โ
Eliott shrugs again, โwhatever is fine.โ
Lucas nods and places his computer off his lap. He reaches for the closest instrument which happens to be his acoustic guitar. When he positions himself in front of the camera again, his heart is racing. He tries to avoid Eliottโs eyes, but itโs so damn hard when he keeps looking at him like that. Lucas strums a couple chords, and neither of them say a word to each other. Itโs a perfect silence.
Lucas decides to play his rendition of City of Stars he had written for the guitar when the movie first came out. He was going to post it as a video, but decided against it. Once he finished he was finally able to look back up and meet the searing gaze that had watched him with the utmost interest throughout the entire song.
โThat was...โ Eliott began, but let his sentence trail off into an amused breath-y laugh.
Lucas shrugged, licking his lips as he put his guitar back. โIt was okay. I havenโt practiced the piece in a while.โ
โThat was much better than okay! That was like, I donโt even know! Putain, Lucas!โ Eliott exclaimed and ran a hand through his hair.
There was a silence that passed over them as Lucas looked down at his blanket, taking sudden interest in pulling at the tassels coming off. Finally Lucas asked, โwhat are you going to name your new flower?โ
Eliott took his time to reply. And in that short period Lucas kept thinking how nice it would feel to have Eliott run his hand through his hair and maybe pull on it. Both in a kinky and non-kinky way. Lucas thought about how soft Eliottโs lips looked, and how he had natural bedroom eyes... โ...Lucas?โ
Oh shit, he had completely zoned out. Maybe the next phase of his heat was coming soon. โAh, sorry. What did you say?โ
Eliott chuckled, โI was saying I donโt really have any ideas. Do you? I mean I already have flowers named after all the seven dwarfs from Snow White, right? So I canโt name it after any of them. I could name it like...โ
โSusan.โ Lucas said plainly, which made Eliott burst into laughter.
โSusan?!โ
Lucas shrugged, a smile spreading across his face. โYeah, itโs my guitars name.โ
That made Eliott freeze, โyou name your instruments?โ
โDonโt make it seem weird! I donโt name my plants!โ
Eliott laughed again, and Lucas felt like he was getting high off the sound. โFair enough. But you know,โ Eliott pauses, โI was thinking of a name more along the lines of Lucas.โ Eliottโs eyes flick up for a second to capture Lucasโs.
Lucas feels like he canโt breathe, and he tries to joke it off, โawe Iโm getting a plant named after me! How sweet.โ
Eliott smiles happily. Lucas swears he can practically see his tail wagging.
Lucas takes a quick glance at the time. The next phase of his heat will probably start in an hour or so, so he should end the conversation in about thirty minutes which will give him enough time to rebuild his nest and prepare...other things...
Eliottโs laughter pulls him out of his train of thought, โwhat?โ Lucas asks.
Eliott shrugs, โyouโre just so cute when youโre deep in thought.โ
Thatโs something a boyfriend would say! Lucas dismisses the thought as soon as it enters his head. He clears his throat, โso, what about you, pretty boy. Do you have any other hobbies? Besides drawing.โ Lucas meant for the โpretty boyโ to come out more patronizing than it had.
โAwe you just called me pretty boy!โ Eliott exclaimed and Lucas rolls his eyes. โUh, but to answer you question, not really? I mean-โ there was a sudden ringing coming from Eliottโs phone which made his image freeze and flicker. โShoot, Lucas, I have to go. Talk again soon?โ
โTalk again soon.โ Lucas said reassuringly and then, โtwo weeks and ten hours.โ
Eliott smiled and his eyes turned up into little crescents. โTwo weeks and nine hours and fifty-seven minutes.โ
It was Lucasโs time to smile like an idiot, โjust go, Eliott.โ
โBye, Lulu!โ Eliott got out quickly before ending the FaceTime.
โโ
Phase two of Lucasโ heat felt like a tornado. Sometimes his mind couldnโt keep up with his body, and other times his body couldnโt keep up with his mind. He felt detached from himself every time another series of hormones hit him like a wave. Dragging him under, leaving him gasping for breath by the end.
Lucas would never admit it, but the only thing that kept him sane was imagining what Eliott would smell like. What it would feel like if Eliottโs nimble fingers grazed his scent gland. How it would feel if Eliott were to massage it until Lucas was puddy in his hands. Lucas wondered what it would be like to watch Eliottโs pupil expand until the very edges of his iris if he happened to breathe in Lucasโs heat scent. Lucas wondered if he would feel frozen in place, if he would be scared or perhaps excited. He imagined Eliott would have control of his Alpha instincts on a regular basis, but Lucas imagined Eliott perhaps letting go of the control in front of him, letting himself succumb to his dominating instincts. And Lucas imagined the after hours, after the heat between them died down. How it would feel to be spooned from behind, Eliottโs nose resting in the crook between Lucasโs neck and shoulder, mere centimeters away from his scent gland. His hands would pull Lucas close until all air between them vanished, as if trying to mold them permanently together.
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