#you understand the twinyards soooo much its so perfect i love all of this

[minyard-05]

hello! i am here to share more Aaron and Andrew thoughts™ though i won’t lie i had a little sleep since earlier and cannot remember whatever it was i was thinking so i will make up some new thoughts for u <3

so, in the extra content i think nora says that aaron starts playing exy to get out the house so he can avoid tilda, andrew starts playing exy in juvie, which was another way to keep andrew (and subsequently aaron) away from drake. so, for both of them, exy is a way out of abuse. so it’s fitting that they both use exy raquets to stop abusers - drake, and riko. i could honestly make a whole post about how exy appears to represent coping mechanisms in the series, but ill leave it at this - for aaron and andrew exy was an escape from abusers, so they helped others escape from their abusers by using exy equipment.

another similarity: they both immediately assume the other’s partner is a repeat of their abuser, whilst simultaneously hating the partner because they believe they’re taking their brother away from them. they’re both so anxious about losing each other but neither of them are used to getting the things they want. i fully believe the hatred that is displayed between aaron and andrew is, (whilst in part due to frustration and feeling betrayed) because looking at each other is like looking in a distorted mirror and more than anything they both hate themselves. and it’s very difficult for both of them to watch the other be in pain, but their self-hatred makes it equally difficult to actively care for the person who reminds them so much of themselves.

this one’s just a headcanon, but if aaron were to get a tattoo, i think he’d get an ouroboros. they symbolise the life cycle, representing death and rebirth. he’s an aspiring doctor with a murder charge, the concept of life and death is not something he can easily run away from. but crucially, aaron’s murder of andrew’s abuser is what breathes new life into their relationship; considering the ‘transmigration of souls’ that is tied to the ouroboros, you can consider aaron and andrew’s relationship to have been reborn off the back of drake’s death. thus, the cycle of life. death and rebirth. obviously other things have to happen before they truly start to heal, but drake’s death is the first step towards aaron understand andrew and everything he’s done. i think if he were to get it he’d get it on his wrist, of the hand he primarily held the racquet in to truly drive the point home. and if andrew eventually gets a matching tattoo, then what?

i read this ask literally like four times before i could respond because oh my GODDDDD you've got it you've got it so perfectly spot on i'm OBSESSED and PAINED

i literally cant stop thinking about the exy thing like. it's a sport they both agreed to a scholarship for because it got them out, it got andrew away from everything that wasn't the 2 people he cared about and it got aaron away from his mother's memory. i would love for you to elaborate on exy as a coping mechanism across the book but for them especially like they're both good at it but don't care, aaron's dropping it the second he gets into med school, and andrew just doesn't care. it's also one of the central factors that kind of holds them together as brothers, like neil says a few times, aaron and andrew function as this one defense Team despite whatever they hate each other for off court. they can trust each other to do what they need to do, andrew knows aaron will check anyone he has to whenever he has to, carded or not, and aaron knows that andrew will lock down the goal when it matters (i mean the guy blocked 137/150 shots in one game). so possibly even because of how they know each other off court, they're kind of an unstoppable force on it. that tied in with them both protecting people they care about with exy racquets? ough....

the MIRROR thing oh my god. part i actually had to read over and over because That's so right that's literally it that's literally all of it you've got them perfect. kind of everything that happens with the twins, what they do to and for each other really stems from a deeply skewed sense of justice and loyalty. i mean andrew says it himself, tilda was nothing and no one to him, not meaning he didn't know what she meant to aaron, but he told her not to hit him again and she didn't listen so for that she had to die. because that's how simple it is in andrew's head, that's where his justice, his protection comes from. initially he has nothing against you, it only starts if you hurt one of his own. i think the part that was hardest for aaron to process wasn't that andrew had done it, but that andrew had done it for him. it'd been a little over, what, five months since andrew moved in? aaron, after the 'fuck you' letter, probably always assumed his new brother hated him, and that Evidently didn't change when they got to palmetto, and we can see from his reaction to neil saying "so now you know why andrew killed your mother". like i think he might've suspected something, but didn't say it, but he chalked it up to the fact that tilda hit andrew instead of him. but neil says it himself, again, andrew will fight tooth and nail until somebody relents or dies to protect who matters, but when it comes to himself, he won't. aaron couldn't process that that's what andrew was willing to do for him, five months after meeting him for the first time.

but there's a difference between planning a murder and instinct. tilda's accident was planned, carefully. aaron simply was holding the racquet and able to move. but the outcome is the same, somebody dies, to save one of the twins. the other is the one who kills. intrinsically, they are linked, if andrew was able to kill tilda faster and get away with it, he would've. aaron doesn't exactly get away with it per se but the difference occurs when matts mom posts bail and andrew is gone.

just a quick aside with what you said about partners– that's exactly it, yes, and i think that's exactly what kind of justifies aaron's reaction to andrew and neil. like if we think about it, aaron was raised catholic, by the same and probably similar people to who raised nicky, aka a highly homophobic environment. this means everything aaron knows about queerness and queer relationships (note: set in 2006) is what they told him, and nicky. unfortunately, neither of those are particularly good references, aaron knows the stuff nicky says about neil in the first book, and, i hate to say it, his third point of reference is drake. its shitty and it sucks, but andrew will never talk to him and neither will neil so what's aaron supposed to think? he wasn't there in any of andrew's previous homes, so he couldn't know how to recognise it if that's what it was. whether thats what he actually believe by the time he confronts neil at the cabin is debatable in my book, but if anything, its the same as andrew 'talking' to katelyn in the library. it's nothing more than a scouting mission, aaron's not going to seriously do much to neil (except get punched by him), same way as andrew was never going to seriously hurt katelyn. all it is is the twins looking out for each other in the only way they really know how.

i LOVE that hc so much actually that's absolutely perfect. i think andrew does have one tattoo for aaron, and it's a two-headed calf (not mine i think i saw it somewhere on here) but the ouroboros idea is AMAZING i'm adopting that into the aaron in my head. literally the cycle of life and death and how he comes to terms with it in his own messy way, and how at any point in the circle, the centre seems to be his brother