#you think you deserve an award? you should have thought of that BEFORE you had a muslim name 🙂

[anothersebastianblog]

Golden Globes ‘25 - win, hard launch, speech: some thoughts

So many things to say. Let’s start from the main event:

He finally won his first major award in Hollywood after winning his first important award last year. Awards are not just about acting, they are also about status, power and how good you are at promoting yourself. This is mainly why, ‘till they interviewed him before the ceremony (that gave me the feeling he was going to win lmao), i thought they had the insane idea to give it to Hugh Grant (or Glen Powell). Why losing the occasion to award someone iconic as Hugh? Thanks god they didn’t.

Sebastian’s performance was ABOVE the other 5. I hope the self proclaimed fans that think he is not good enough to be part of those 6 and that A24 bought his award, one day will understand that. Or, if they don’t, will leave the fandom and take their negativity and bullshits with them. Sebastian absolutely deserves his two awards for ADM, and we don’t like seeing your comments about how the movie is “boring”, “not well made”, “with too much screen time dedicated to Adam”. Shame on you.

He took this occasion to formally announce his relationship with Annabelle. It’s just a formality really, because wbk, literally lol. Nice to see it tho. Also because they looked amazing. Now, we know how he is: private, shy and work-focused. Exactly because of that, if you have been following him for a while, what happened yesterday should not have surprised you too much. Being an “old” fan or at least having seen/heard interviews/comments/etc made by him in the past should have made you realise two things mainly: 1) he changed (and matured) a lot after (i would personally assume) the death of his father + turning 40 + having more career opportunities, i have been saying this for at least 2 yrs!; 2) he knows he is there receiving that award thanks not only to himself but also to the people of his circle/family. He literally told us how important Annabelle has been during the time he filmed TA, especially: he admitted being selfish and sacrificing the time he could have spent with his loved ones to study and practice for that role. Not every partner would have tolerated that. She did. And she supported both movies since day one. We call it support, someone call it baiting. He evidently agrees with us.

So, don’t act too surprised (a bit it’s okay lol) if he brings one of the most important person of his life and the only person he loves (in *that* sense) with him, pose with her and publicly declare his love in front of everyone in his speech. A great one btw.

She deserves to be recognised but i am sure she doesn’t pretend to be.

Now some new year wishes, that as every new year wishes are too pretentious and too out of reach: i wish some people would stop pretending to be his fans, i wish they would leave the fandom and find help or at least a new hobby, i wish the accuse of not being enough, to have sold his soul to evil CAA, to be forced to act in a certain way would stop immediately, i wish ANY negative comments about Annabelle would stop immediately, especially the ones about her age, her body and her reproductive system 👍🏼

I wish many other days a joyful as last night was.

Cheers 🥂

[loumandforyou]

I'm sorry I will never ever understand how Sam is nominated instead of Assad for s2. Again (x3 by now!!!). I wonder if Assad was white British and his name was John Smith or something... would he be set aside that much 🤔 ?

[whimsiwitchy]

he's hooked (oneshot)

hugh jackman x actress!reader

summary: y/n is an actress in her early 20’s. after having the best night of her career, Hugh Jackman introduces himself. the two stars hook up in the venue's bathroom and for y/n it was nothing but a one night stand. However, Hugh becomes obsessed and can’t let her go so easily.

warnings: use of y/n, she/her pronouns, age gap (22/55), smut, protected vaginal penetration, dirty talk, reader is kinda cocky, hugh is very persistent, reader mentions age gap a lot, oral (f receiving), one use of daddy (in a playful way), bathroom sex.

authors note: y'all I am trying my absolute best to write smut. this is my second attempt and while i'm not super proud of it, I am proud of myself for trying. practice makes perfect I guess lol. anyways, I hope you enjoy. (sorry if it sucks butt) love y'all <33

 Tonight felt like a dream. It was the 97th Academy Awards and you had won your first Oscar for best actress. When your name was called, you were completely shocked. The category was filled with nominees that you had looked up to your entire life and you genuinely thought you had no shot of winning. You were completely honored to win such an award so early into your career. After the ceremony was over, most of the attendees made their way over to the Oscars Governors Ball, which was one of the few after parties that are held annually after the event. It felt surreal to be in a place full of Hollywood's biggest names and it was even crazier that you were now one of them. You were currently sitting at the bar waiting for a drink when a deep accented voice spoke. “Congratulations on your big win tonight. You deserve it.” When you look over to see who was speaking, you’re met with a very handsome Hugh Jackman. “Oh thank you. Congrats to you too, best actor.” Your tone is teasing yet sincere. “I’m Hugh.” He offers his hand to shake, which you take. “I know who you are, Mr.Jackman. I’m y/n.” You shake his hand firmly, letting it go right after. “I know who you are, Ms. y/l/n.” He joked back and you let out a small laugh. You look forward as the bartender sits your drink in front of you and you give him a quick thank you. From the corner of your eye, you can see Hugh’s eyes trail your body. “Did you just check me out?” You turn your head to face him. “It’s hard not to when you look that good.” Hugh says without missing a beat. “Aren’t you married? I don’t think your wife would appreciate you hitting on a twenty two year old.” You give him an accusing look. He lifts his left hand, showing off his bare ring finger. “I'm divorced, babe.” You almost miss the smirk that rests on his bearded face. 

“Hm. Well in that case, there are plenty of beautiful women here your own age here that would happily go home with you tonight. Maybe you should flirt with them.” You turn back to your drink, taking a long sip through the skinny straw. “None of them are as pretty as you. You’re the most gorgeous woman here by far.” You let out a laugh of disbelief. “Bye Hugh Jackman. It was nice meeting you.” You slowly climb down the tall ball stool and grab your drink. Before you can walk off, Hugh calls your name, causing you to turn back towards him. “I’d love to take you out to dinner sometime.” He smiles and you’d be lying if you said the sight didn’t make your heartbeat stutter. “You know that Real Steel was my favorite movie when I was like eleven. Does that make my age more apparent to you or do you not care?” He furrows his brows, pretending to think for a moment. “Hm. I don’t think I care very much.” You laugh, dropping your head. “You’re unbelievable.” He smiles. “So is that a yes?” “No.” You smile and walk away. 

—

Your friend Kayleigh was ranting to you about a technical issue that happened during her performance earlier in the night and you were trying your best to pay attention. Sometime in between the chat you had with Hugh and now, he had removed the black suit jacket he had on. The sleeves of his white button up dress shirt were rolled up, showing off his large forearms, his biceps peaking out slightly. It was overly distracting. “Girl what the fuck are you staring at?” She moves her head around trying to match your staring gaze. “Y/n please don’t tell me you're staring at that old man right now.” You give her a sheepish look. “God, straight people are so fucking weird.” She sighs. “It’s not weird. He’s kinda hot.” You admit. “Whatever you say. Why don’t you just go talk to him? I’m almost positive he’d fuck you if you ask.” You look back over to where Hugh is talking to some older woman, just like you had suggested. “I kinda already turned him down. Well, not for sex. He asked me to dinner.” Her face scrunches up. “Ew. He’s like older than your parents.” You laugh. “Is it bad that I find that hot?” She nods. “Yes y/n. That’s like really fucking weird dude.” You ignore her. “Should I go try to get him to fuck me?” You ask, genuinely wanting her opinion. “If that’s really what you’re into these days, go for it. I’m highly disgusted by you right now though.” You stand up and grab the small clutch you had with you. “Eh. You’ll get over it. You’ll be okay on your own for a little bit?” She gives you a thumbs up and you make your way over to Hugh and the woman he was speaking to. 

“Hi, sorry to interrupt.” You apologize and turn to Hugh. “Could I talk to you alone for a moment?” He looks confused and completely caught off guard. “Uh, yea.” He turns to the woman. “It was nice to catch up with you.” She says something back that you don’t catch, too busy staring at the vein that is basically jumping out of Hugh’s arm. “You wanted to talk to me?” His words bring you out of your thirsting trance. “Follow me.” You grab his hand, dragging him through a door and into a hallway. “Where are we going?” He asks, taken aback by your lack of plan. “I’m not sure.” You say as you continue to drag him. “Y/n slow down, we can talk here. There’s no one out here.” He stops walking and it makes you tumble back, his grip on your hand stopping you from continuing forward. “We need somewhere private.” His confused expression only deepens. “I don’t know how much more private this can get darling. If it’s really that much of a secret, we can stop talking if someone comes by.” He offers and you huff. “I don’t actually wanna talk Hugh.” 

“You’re confusing me here darling.” You wiggle your hand out of his and raise it to your head in frustration. “I want you to fuck me.” You look at him and his eyes go wide. “I’m sorry…what?” “If you don’t want to, that's fine, we can go back.” Your confidence began to falter. “Wait, that’s not what I'm saying.” 

“So you want to fuck me?” He takes a moment to think before answering.

“Yes.” 

“Then help me find somewhere private.” The two of you make your way down the never ending hallway, checking every door you see. Hugh opens a door and closes it, making his way down the hallway. Seeing as it was the only door that opened so far, you went to check it yourself and saw that it was an empty bathroom. “Why’d you keep going, this is perfect.” You shout at him. “I’m not fucking you in a bathroom.” He looks at you like that was obvious. “Well it’s not like we have any other options. Come on.” You go inside and wait for him. Once he’s inside you motion to the door. “Lock it.” You tell him. “We’re really doing this?” He asks, confirming. “Unless you don’t want to.” He takes a pause before speaking again. “Get your pretty ass over here.” He growls. 

You walk over to him slowly. He pulls you close to him once you’re in arms reach and you look up at him through your lashes. “Too damn sexy for your own good.” He whispers before leaning down and locking his lips with yours. The feeling of his beard against your skin was addicting. The kiss was slow at first, both of you testing the waters with each other. It was you who begged to enter his mouth, tongue sliding against his lips. You didn’t want to come off so desperate but you needed more from him. His large hands slid down to your ass, giving it a tight squeeze that has you gasping. His tongue dives into your mouth, exploring every crevice. It’s messy but it’s hot. “Jump.” He commands and you listen. His hands grab the back side of your thighs and he walks you over to the counter, sitting you down inbetween two of the sinks. His lips are back on yours the moment your body touches the cold surface. 

“You sure you want to do this baby?” He asks. “Positive.” You breathe out. Hugh bends down, sitting on both of his knees. Grabbing your ankle, he gives kisses to the skin that your heel doesn’t cover. He moves upward, leaving long sensual kisses up your calf and thigh, raising the end of your dress as he goes. As simple as the gesture was, it felt erotic, never having a man take this kind of care with you before. His lips move higher, curving with your leg until he’s hovering above your pussy. “You’re wet already baby?” His voice is cocky and if it weren’t for the heat of his breath making your mind foggy, you would’ve called him out on it. He gives the wet spot on your panties a shy kiss. The act has you letting out a quiet moan, sounding louder from the echo of the bathroom. He slips a finger behind the cotton of your underwear and tugs at it while looking up at you. “Can I take these off?” He asks, finger still tugging the fabric dangerously close to where you need him the most. “Yes.” It’s breathy but it gets the job done because Hugh moves his head up, grabbing the top of the fabric with his teeth. He starts to tug your panties down, using one of his hands to help the other side. You lift your body slightly as Hugh pulls them down farther. When they’re all the way off, Hugh sits back with your panties hanging from the big toothy smile he's wearing. The sight was definitely going to be what you pictured the next time you touched yourself. 

“Oh fuck me..” He grabs your panties from his teeth and slides them into his back pocket. “Mhm. not yet, baby. Wanna eat your pretty pussy first.” He leans back in between your legs, lips ghosting over your heat. “So perfect.” He whispers as he kisses each pussy lip three times before finally kissing your clit. “Mhmm, please Hugh.” His tongue slides from your opening to your bud teasingly slow. You can feel his beard scratching the sensitive skin but it only adds to the pleasure. He swirls his tongue around your clit a few times before sucking it into his lips, the feeling causes you to jerk your hips. His hands, that were gently holding your ankles, moved up to hold your hips down. His mouth moves down to your opening, tongue plunging in and out a few times before moving back up to your clit. You hadn’t even noticed that one of his hands moved from your hip until you felt one of his fingers dip into you slowly. He curls the finger and moves it back and forth at an unexpectedly fast pace. Before you can adjust to it, he’s adding another finger and it all becomes too much. “Fuck..I’m gonna cum.” Your words are mixed with moans. He doesn't let up, his tongue and fingers speeding up and it has you cumming hard around his fingers, loud moans feel the air. He gives your pussy one last kiss before leaning back and removing his fingers. When you can fully see his face, it is a sight to see. His salt and pepper beard is covered in your slick, lips glossy. 

“Want you to see how good you taste darling.” He says while moving his two fingers to your lips. You open your mouth and stick out your tongue, taking his fingers in your mouth slowly. Hugh hisses as you suck around his fingers, tongue swirling around each one.  Once you're confident that they’re clean, you grab his wrist and take his fingers out of your mouth with a pop. “You still gonna fuck me old man or did you already cum in your pants?” You joke with him. He stands up, both knees popping in the process. Just as you're about to laugh and make fun of him some more, he grabs you off of the counter to stand you up. He turns you around and bends you over the counter. “You keep talking like you weren’t the one staring at me for an hour before asking me to fuck you.” He goes to undo his belt buckle and you shiver at the sound. You're looking back at him through the mirror. “Whatever.” You reach over to your clutch and open it, grabbing a condom. You reach back and hold it back to Hugh. “Here, put this on.” He grabs it with a questioning look. “Why were you carrying condoms?” You roll your eyes and rest your head in your hands, elbows propped up. “Can you mind your business and fuck me already. I’m getting bored.” You were lying right through your teeth. You were far from bored but you wanted to keep the whole ‘hard to get’ game going a little longer.

You watch him open the condom and see his arms move as he rolls it down his cock. As bad as you wished you could see him fully but it was kind of exciting- not knowing what you were about to get. “How do you want me baby?” He asks, looking at you through the mirror. You get a small glimpse of his dick as he slaps it across your ass. “Give me all you got daddy.” He smirks and shakes his head at the name. He lines up his member with your entrance and slides in slowly. Once he’s bottomed out, he doesn’t wait long before he’s slamming back into you. The stretch stings slightly and you hadn’t expected him to be so big. He slaps your ass hard and you yelp in response. You drop your head down at the pleasure. “Nuh uh. Look at me while I fuck you baby.” You raise your head to look at Hugh through the mirror again. “That’s it. Look at how pretty you look getting fucked by an old man.” You couldn’t help but listen to him. Hugh was fucking you dumb and you couldn’t think straight. His balls hitting your clit was what sent you over the edge for a second time. “Please don’t stop Hugh mhmmm fuck baby. I’m cumming, please don’t stop, baby.” Your moans match the rhythm of his hips, each thrust knocking the air out of you with its force. “Just like that sweet girl. Fuck not gonna last much longer.” Even after your high, the pleasure continues as Hugh chases his own. You push your hips back, meeting his thrust. The act makes Hugh moan. “Mhm, I'm gonna cum baby.” His hands squeeze your hips, thrusts getting sloppy as he cums. 

The two of you stay quiet as you both freshen up and try to make it less noticeable that you two left to have sex. You push yourself up onto the counter, sitting lazily as you watch Hugh toss his hair around. “Can you kiss me again?” You ask Hugh. He smiles and walks over to stand in between your legs. He grabs your cheeks and kisses you. “Mhm. You're a good kisser.” The compliment is sincere. You could kiss his lips for hours if he’d let you. He hums. “So, are you gonna let me take you out now?” You look in his eyes and smile. “Hugh we can’t. This was fun and it was good sex but that’s all it was.” “Why can’t we?” He’s quick with his words. “It’s just not practical Hugh. I think you're handsome and you seem like a sweet guy but I'm too young for you. The press would tear us apart quicker than we got together.” You explain. “Fuck the press. Let me take you out and get to know you at least.” You sigh. “I’m sorry Hugh. I can’t.” You offer him a small smile. “I’m not gonna stop trying. You’re too good to lose.” He kisses your cheek. “I should get back out there. I have a friend waiting for me.” He steps back, letting you hop down from the counter. “Bye Hugh Jackman.” You give him a small peck on the lips before leaving the bathroom. 

— 

A few weeks later, you were on set for the newest film you were working on. You’d just arrived an hour earlier and were sent to your trailer to get ready for the first scene. When you walked through the door, you were greeted with a bouquet of wildflowers and a note that read:

I can’t stop thinking about you. -H.J (xxx) xxx-xxxx

tag list: @prettycoolgirl, @nonamevenus, @godlypresley, @pedroscurls, @evasmlp, @bluetimeombre, @sue8724, @princessanglophile, @kellyxo1, @ccmoonshine, @hughverine, @chronicallybubbly, @realhotgirlshitah, @aurlavr, @almosthumongousfunsblog, @wolviesgirl, @flirtyjen, @lilgrinchbitch, @majesticalcocoa, @liamdasimp, @needz1nk, @squishyfruitloop, @afra-ww, @veru-boom

[spideysbruh]

Times Timothée was Going to Propose... and the Time he Finally Did

Warnings- cursing, suggestive moments but nothing explicit, stuff is implied though.

a/n- thought that scene from the office was cute and j miss writing (send recs pls) so here we go!

~

“You should move in with me.” He said softly as he slowly traced along her arm. She chuckled and looked up at him.

They’re in her apartment, watching a movie after a pretty intense lovemaking session. They were both still pretty sweaty, Timothées hair was matted and kind of stuck to his forehead, and hers was stuck to her bare back.

“Yeah, right.” She rolled her eyes, smirking up at him.

“I'm serious! Move in with me, why not?” He said, more determined this time, moving his face into her hair, kissing her head lightly.

She giggled and sat up, maneuvering out of his arms, “I- Well, I always said I wouldn’t move in with anyone unless we were engaged…” She said awkwardly, finally meeting his eyes.

He took her words in for a moment and raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t I propose already?”

She jokingly stops to think for a moment, “Mmmm don’t think so? Unless,” She looks at her ring finger with no ring on it, “Nope, you didn’t.” She laughs as he wraps his arms around her again.

“Get ready, babe. It’s coming,” he said, making her laugh, but he was completely serious.

The truth was that he already had her ring, he got it right after their one year anniversary and held onto it for another two years because he knew one year was maybe just a little too soon. He carried it pretty much everywhere he went, waiting for the perfect moment.

“Okay, Timmy. Sure.” She teases, but can’t help but think about how great it would be to be engaged to him, to live with him, to marry him, to just share a life with him. She wants it all and she wants it with him whenever he’s ready.

The Afterparty

After that brief conversation in her apartment, she would get butterflies every time they went out on a date or even while they just walked around, thinking this was definitely it, he's gonna propose. But for real, this party would actually be the perfect place to do it.

He had just won another Spirit Award, he was elated and extremely touchy with her. He couldn’t stop kissing her or holding onto her hand wherever they went. When she walked somewhere, he was right beside her.

“I'm so happy, baby.” He smiled as they slowly danced around the floor. Other celebrities surrounded them, most of them drunk and celebrating- or not- their wins.

She grinned and kissed him lightly, “Me too. You deserve it... You deserve everything you can possibly think of.”

He laughs, “I should be saying that to you. Because it's true." He says and kisses her again. "I'm going to love you a long long time, Y/n/n."

She grins and rests her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

‘Lover’ by Taylor Swift plays over the speakers and she feels like she's in a movie, in the scene where the two main characters realize they actually love each other. Except for her, she knows she loves him entirely, and he definitely loves her.

“Hey, remember our first date?” He quietly asks, she looks up at him and nods.

“Of course I do,” She smiles, “Why?”

Timothée shrugs, “I dunno, it just… came into my head right now.” He laughs lightly, “We were so young, had no idea what was in store for us… we stayed by each others side.”

She laughs, “A lot happened in like, four years, huh?”

Timothée looks at her with an intense gaze, his eyes locked on hers. She hadn't seen this look before, nonetheless it gave her butterflies.

“I love you, y/n.”

Oh my god, he's gonna do it.

He removes his hand from hers and she swallows hard, waiting for him to pull out the little velvet- or not. it doesn't have to be velvet, she doesn't care haha- box and…

He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear as the last few strings of the song play.

“I love you, too, Timothée.”

He smiles at her when suddenly the mood shifts as a loud, mood killer of a song plays next. The crowd gets loud as they all start cheering.

He separates from her and asks if she wants something to drink, to which she agrees. As he turns around, she frowns and curses the dj.

What the fuck?!

Lazy day

After the party, she was in low spirits for a week or so, she thought about how she could've been engaged already. She could’ve been moving in with Timothée right now.

She was watching ‘When Harry Met Sally’, sadly munching on cookies. Timothée was halfway across the world filming his newest project. They hadn’t seen each other in nearly two months and it was really getting to her. She missed him and the goofy comments he made when they watched movies together, how he would always pull her to lay on him and “sneakily” sneak his hand into whatever snack she was eating.

She also missed being able to just meet up with him at their favorite cafe or go on late night walks where they had conversations about nothing and everything at the same time.

Right towards the end of the movie, when Harry realizes he loves Sally and is running across New York City to confess his love for her, her phone rings.

She groans and looks at the screen, immediately smiling as she sees that it’s Timothée calling. She picks it up, “Hi baby! Isn’t it hella early over there?”

“Yeah, I have an early morning so I figured I’d call my favorite person ever.”

“Aw, did Kudi not answer?” She joked, playing with the strings on her joggers.

He laughed, which still made her heart skip a beat, “Exactly, so I called you instead.”

“You’re hilarious" she giggles, and after a few moments of silence she says, "I miss you.”

“I miss you, too. More than anything.”

“Yeah? How much do you miss me?” She suggestively asks, slowly moving down to lay on the couch.

It’s been a while.

Timothée is quiet for several seconds before he speaks, “So much, baby.” He says lowly and she hears some shuffling on his end, “What are you doing?”

She blushes, quickly pausing the movie before putting her free hand down her pants, “Hmmm, what do you think I’m doing, Timmy?” She smirks, knowing what the nickname does to him.

“Fuckkkk, you’re naughty.” He groans.

“I’m not,” she mumbles, “I just miss my boyfriend is all.”

“Mhm.”

They’re suddenly rudely interrupted by a knock at her door, “Ugh, god damn it. Someone’s knocking.” She quietly says, hoping whoever it is will just leave.

“It's okay my lovely, I can wait. Go check who it is.”

“You can wait, but I don't think I can wait. I'm literally fucking soaked.” She groaned.

“Mmm, patience is a virtue, my love.”

“Fuck you and your virtues.” She mumbles as she gets up, hearing him chuckle on the other end, looking through the peephole. She sees her boyfriends huge grin and his slightly oversized hoodie, and the door is open before she even takes her next breath.

“No fucking way!” She squeals as she tackles him to the other side of the hallway with kisses.

“Hi mon chéri, I missed you so much.” He grins, kissing her again. He wraps his arms around her entirely, like he's trying to mold their bodies into one.

He guides her back into her apartment backwards, shutting the door behind them, “Now where were we, huh?” He raises his eyebrows suggestively as she giggles.

“Hmmm I don't remember, you might have to remind me.” She smirks, her hands tracing along his torso.

“I think I can do that.” He says as he wraps a finger around the waistband of her joggers, slowly pulling them down. “Are you really as soaked as you said you were?” He whispers in her ear, goosebumps instantly rising on her skin at his words.

She gasps as his index finger traces along her folds, teasing her entrance, “Fuck yes.” and she kisses him with fervor, her hands tangling in his hair as she tries to get him to the bedroom.

“Mmm fuck, baby. I missed you.” He mumbles against her lips, his tongue slipping in her mouth as he lays her down on the bed. He slips his hoodie off, her hands instantly on his chest.

“Show me how much you missed me.” She gasps, pulling off her shirt.

>>>

Timothée sighed as he laid down next to her, sweat glistening on their skin.

“Fuck, y/n/n. How did I last two months without this?” He wondered, making her smile.

“No clue, I was getting antsy, babe.” She replied, leaning over to kiss his neck.

“I really did miss you a lot,” He said, tracing his fingers along her arm, “I did a lot of thinking.”

“Yeah? About what?” She questioned, closing her eyes as he spoke.

“Our future.” He said, she smiled at that. Her heart started racing at what he was going to say next. “I was thinking about what our house would look like, what our morning routines would look like, if we'd have a pet… and maybe even kids. Things like that.”

She blushed at the thought, “I know that I want a fish.” She said, only half joking.

He laughed and nodded, “I could fuck with a fish.” She giggled and shook her head at his goofiness. “But seriously,” He started, “Wh- what do you think?”

Is it gonna happen now?

While they're totally naked and still sweaty from their session? God, how will they tell this story to their parents?

She looks up at him, her heart racing, she locked her eyes with his, “I can't wait. I think about that all the time, Timothée.” She replies, making him sigh in relief and then grin.

He engulfs her in his arms and kisses her with a fire that she'd never felt from him before. He moans into it and lays her back down, slowly moving down to kiss her neck several times before speaking, “Fuck, I love you so much Y/n. I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together.” Butterflies erupt in her tummy at his words, “I'm gonna make you my wife and I'll be your husband and we'll live happily ever after.” He says in between kisses, making her blissfully sigh and shut her eyes.

Once again, they were interrupted by Timothées phone ringing, it was his moms ringtone, Timothée groaned and went to ignore it, but she spoke up, “It’s your mom, baby. Answer it, it’s alright.”

He frowned but kissed her before he leaned over to pick up his phone.

She sighed and stared at the ceiling as he spoke to his mom, she looked around the room before she got up to get dressed and order some dinner. He frowned at her movements but went back to listening to his mom.

The rest of their lives

“Come on a walk with me, baby. It’s pretty outside.” Timothée said as he slipped on a hoodie, “We’ve been inside all day, we need some fresh air.” He said, coming up behind her on the couch and squeezing her shoulders.

It's true. They've just been lounging around his apartment all day, cuddling and watching comedies mostly.

She leans her head back and groans, “I’m so lazy right now, babe.” She whines, making him chuckle.

“I'll get you a sweet treat.” He said, quirking an eyebrow, she looked up at him and smiled.

“You sure know the way to a girl's heart.” She giggled, getting up and putting on her shoes, also sliding on a hoodie- his hoodie..

“I know the way to my girls heart.” He replied, intertwining their fingers as he opened the door, letting her out first.

“Did you have anywhere in mind?” She asked as they stepped outside, the cool autumn air nicely hitting her face.

“No, just a nice little walk.” He shrugged, smiling down at the ground.

“Let's turn here.” He said simply while she was talking about a tiktok she saw about her hometowns nfl team.

He listened intently as she continued on, saying how she had to call her dad for clarification on their most recent game.

“Ohhh is that why you were on the phone with him when I got home earlier?” He questioned, lightly pulling her closer to his side and wrapping an arm over her shoulders, still not letting go of her hand.

She nodded, “Yeah, you know I love bothering the guy.” She laughs, making him chuckle.

“Remember the first time I met your parents?” He suddenly asks, she looks up at him, admiring his side profile as he walks.

She giggles at the memory, “Oh my god! You were so cute and nervous. It was hilarious.”

“I was convinced your dad hated me.” He laughs, “And your mom was like, the nicest human ever. It was weird!”

“That's probably why they divorced.” She jokes, resulting in a snort escaping from her. Timothée laughs and squeezes her hand.

“You're adorable.” He says as he looks over at her, admiring the smile on her face as they continue walking.

He takes a turn, gently pulling her along as she quirks an eyebrow at him.

The sun was almost completely down already, a warm glow covering the partly empty sidewalks. This was her favorite time of the day, the world always looks so peaceful and beautiful.

“Where are you taking me, Chalamet?” She questions, watching as he guides her over to the local park, the same one that they've had countless picnics at, where they would read their wildly different books next to each other for hours in silence, occasionally updating one another on their book... and then maybe they'd make out for a bit, depending how crowded it was.

She remembers appreciating how, early on in their relationship, Timothée would never make fun of her book choices, as she leans more toward romcoms and books with cute endings. She had felt like less of an intellectual when she compared her books with his, but he never said anything.

Even now, he never teases her about it. Sometimes when he comes back from another city or country for work, he'll hand her a bag of books that he thinks she “might like” and it was always cute little romances or coming of age stories. She would smile and pull him down to her and kiss him thankfully.

Anyway, that whole tangent was because of the park, they hadn't been in so long due to their increasingly busy schedules. Even though they couldn’t have their cute little dates as much anymore, they still always made time for each other in other ways.

One night, he came over after a late shoot just to spend time with her, she was already falling asleep, but Timmy just climbed into her bed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her as close to him as possible.

“We haven't been here in so long, huh?” He said, basically reading her mind.

“Yeah,” She smiles, “We should go to the-”

“The café?” He quirks an eyebrow at her as she nods, “I was thinking the same thing.”

“I wonder if our favorite barista is still there.”

“Wow, we were going there so much that we really have a favorite barista.” He laughs, she giggles and subconsciously runs her thumb along his knuckles.

“Remember that one night we were there for like… four hours-” She cut herself off as she felt Timothée stop walking and his hand leave hers. “Wh-”

Her breath catches in her throat as she turns around and sees him down on one knee.

Here we go.

“Hey, Y/n?” He says softly, reaching into his pocket.

“Yeah?” She replies, so quietly that shes not even sure if he heard it.

He nervously smiles as he pulls out a velvet box, she gasps and covers her mouth as he opens it, revealing a beautiful ring. A perfect ring. One that she's literally saved in her private pinterest boards.

“Shut up.” She grins, locking eyes with him as he laughs at her reaction.

“I've been waiting for the perfect moment, but I realized that there is no perfect moment, Y/n. You make it perfect. We make it perfect. I want the rest of our lives to start as soon as possible. So, y/n, will you-”

“Yes! Yes of course, Timmy!” She excitedly says, reaching down to pull him up before kissing him deeply. “God, I was wondering when you'd finally ask me.” She laughs against his lips, running her fingers through his hair

“Well, I was interrupted a couple times, but I think it was worth it.” He smiles, taking the ring out of the box and sliding it on her finger. “It’s a perfect fit.” He sighs in relief.

“It’s perfect.” She says, her eyes watering, “You're perfect. I love you.” She lets a few tears fall, Timothée wipes at them, eyes getting teary as well.

"I love you more." He pulls her in for a hug, his hands on her waist, kissing her again before pulling away, “Come on, let's go see our favorite barista.” He laughs, intertwining their fingers.

She can’t stop smiling, she can’t stop looking at the ring, and she can’t stop thinking about what their future will be like which makes butterflies erupt in her tummy.

"So, will you finally move in with me, baby?" He asks, nudging her cheek with his nose.

She giggles and feels her cheeks heat up, "I'll start packing tomorrow."

*

[merchelsea]

took care of my girl - max verstappen

pairing: max verstappen + fem! driver!(charles gf) reader

summary: after a lifechanging turn in your plans, you need to sort things out with charles to be able to get together with your true love, max. things can't always get so hard, can they?

author's note: the so required part two is FINALLY out. a massive thank you to every one that asked for this, i hope you enjoy it! (a HUGE thank you to @stupidandunnecessary for helping me outt)

word count: +1,6k

previous part

last night, charles and you exchanged less than ten words. you wanted to talk to him, but you didn't know how to start, nor how to do it without hurting him.

it was clear that his feelings were not love, maybe some attraction and friendship, but not love. still, you didn't want to hurt him.

you loved max, but you were in a relationship with charles. you weren't quite sure if he would understand, and even if he did, things were a lot more complicated since you were three public figures.

charles woke up to find you, very dizzy and confused, staring at the ceiling of the room in silence. he regained his sences before you thought of moving, and he soon started talking.

"you love him." he stated, looking over at you. startled, you turned to look at him, taken aback by his smiling face. "I- what?" you asked him.

"max. you love him." with that smile planted on his lips, you struggled to articulate something to tell the him. your well-prepared speech for this very moment seemed to vanish, and your words failed you.

"I'm sorry." it was the only thing you could say after having your mouth half-opened for seconds.

"what are you sorry for? loving someone? that is not your fault." he reassured you. "I'm not angry, if that's why your apologizing. I'm happy for you." you couldn't quite comprehend what he was trying to tell you, and he noticed it by the puzzled glances you shot at him.

"I'm happy for you both. I know I've never been a top contestant to the 'best boyfriend' award, quite the contrary. but I also know we both started this relationship out of loneliness." he claimed. it was evident that you weren't the only one preparing for this moment.

"I'm still sorry." you persisted. he chuckled, but you never even gave him a trace of a smile. you couldn't.

"you don't have to be. you deserved to be happy. to be loved in the same intensity that you love someone. that is something only verstappen can do." leclerc understood this situation a whole lot more than you expected him to, and you were starting to wonder if he might have a female max in his life.

"its a fact, even tho it pains me to admit. I could never make you happy the way he does." he added.

"you deserve that too. I know this probably means nothing to you right now, but it's true." you smiled sadly to him, and he shook his head in disagreemeant.

"it will never mean nothing to me. apart from everything, you were my friend first, and I would hate for that to end." you smiled softly at him, the sadness now less evident. you two stood silent for a while, just breathing and thinking. "look, I'm sorry for not being the boyfriend you deserved." he appologized, breaking the akward smile.

he was ready to continue, and he would have done so if you hadn't interrupted. "it's not entirely your fault. we didn't work out because we didn't love each other. period." charles too was sad about how your realtionship was ending, but he was also grateful that none of you had to get hurt before it happened.

"now, I think we are both mature enough to recognize that and begin another chapter." you continued. he nodded softly and you both stood quite looking at the ceiling.

"y/n, you should really go get him. I still have a headache to deal with but I'll try to pack everything and leave before you return home." he advised with a warm smile. he rose from the bed, moving around it to bend over and kiss your forehead.

"you deserve this, mon chéri." he whispered as he exited the room to confront his weary reflection in the bathroom mirror.

after changing, you left the bedroom with the intention of grabbing a bite to eat. however, you decided that sharing a meal with Max might be better, so you sent him a text. within seconds, he responded, as if he had been awaiting your message his whole life.

the truth is, max could deny all he wanted, but he panicked when he got home and realized charles would be sleeping in the same bed as you, and probably trying to get you back. although he now knew that you loved him, it didn't change the fact that you had been with charles while still harboring those feelings, and that thought terrified him.

that's why he left his hotel without even hesitating and met you at a coffee shop near your house.

"how did he react?" he was clearly trying to avoid the subject, and noticing it, you respected his decision and never brought it up. but he has his limits, and he clearly crossed those. he needed to know, and if you were being real, you needed to tell him as well.

"better than I expected." you replied with a smile, which wasn't what he had anticipated. he couldn't decipher whether your smile meant "we broke up" or "we got back together."

"better how?" he asked, not so sure now that he wanted to know.

verstappen didn't think of himself as an anxious person, but when it came to you, he struggled to conceal his apprehension. He yearned to know every detail, and he might have even fainted if you hadn't filled him in.

"well, he told me to come and get you." you were finding that whole situation a lot more funny than you should, max acting all calm when it was so clear that he was freaking out could be ranked on top of the most entertaining things in the world.

he let out a heavy breath that he was holding for god knows why and you finally could see the beautiful smile he was hiding behind the seriousness.

"really?" he asked, smile still playing on his lips. you nodded, smiling too. anyone who passed by would think you two were a couple on the best stage of your relationship, smiles so wide that everyone could see were genuine.

"well you already have me, so…" max points with a joking tone, every word coming out of his mouth being the most truthful. "why do i always want to kiss you in situations or places where i can't?" he throws his head back, frustrated.

"oh why can't you kiss me now?" you asked. cofusion and also frustration kicking in when you realize its not going to be today as well. you begun to think max might be actually afraid to kiss you.

"there's people here. and i know it's a discreet place, but still…" you almost grasped what the dutch meant, were it not for your intense desire for his lips to meet yours. "what? I don't care about the people, you know I don't."

it's true, he knows you never cared about people's opinions. that's why, from the both of you, he was always the one that helped you with everything you thought of putting out to the world. most of it not coming out thanks to him.

"you may not, but I do. you know how this things work and I don't want my gi- your name associated with sleeping around for a seat."

your smile didn't fail on showing up. he could have just said the most horrific thing ever, you hadn't listened. max verstappen calling you 'my girl' was something out of this world for you. you covered your face with your hands as the gleam in your eyes intensified.

"but, you know, you could always take me home." he added, grinning with both his lips and eyes. "let me finish this and we'll go right away." max nodded and took his phone out, pretending to be composed on the outside while feeling like an exuberant child within. he eventually even snapped a few pictures of you to keep for himself and immediately changed his locked screen. he's not familiar with the concept of going slow.

exiting the coffee shop, you and max laughed like a pair of joyful fools, unable to recall precisely what was so amusing. at some point, you found yourselves laughing at each other for no apparent reason. what you both knew for certain was that spending time together was effortless—it brought a profound sense of peace.

as you closed the door behind you, max took your hand and pulled you close to him. his free hand found its place on your cheek, his thumb tenderly caressing it. "after all these years, I can finally kiss you."

the smile on the red bull driver's face emphasized his happiness. although your smile wasn't as broad, your eyes spoke volumes.

in the end, his focus remained on your eyes. for three years, max had gazed into those same brown eyes, yet each time felt like he could continue indefinitely. and, indeed, he could.

from his prespective, it was the greatest view one could have. and he was genuinely sorry for everyone that would never get the chance to do so.

when he finally let go of your eyes, he foccused on your lips, not as mesmerizing, but equally breathtaking.

before he kissed you, you got a good look at his deep ocean blue eyes. had you not been studying them since the day you met their owner, you might have easily lost yourself in their beauty.

you almost cursed max for closing them, but if that meant you got to study his lips too, you could never complain.

once he guided you into the kiss, one of your hands instinctively traveled to the back of his neck, while the other one squeezed his, trying to be sure that this was really happening.

it became evident that your lips were made solely for each other—the way they fit perfectly, moved in harmony, and how max's lips embraced yours as if he had been doing it for a lifetime. every element aligned to create perfection—this is what love felt like.

with max, it felt right. with max, it was love.

taglist: @mehrmonga @yourusername1 @lexiecamposv @electrobutterfly @miakatharinaa @jeconnaismeslimitesus

[kaisa-ryo]

little revenge

soshiro hoshina x reader

tw: 18+, obscenity (blowjob), english isn’t my native language!

***

In the quiet office of the headquarters, where Hoshina sat, only the occasional tapping of the keyboard could be heard. The pungent scent of coffee, lingering in the air, was soothing. The damn paperwork and the mountains of information that Soshiro had to double-check almost daily were draining him to the bone. In short, everything was as usual. This feeling of stability and immutability seemed to protect him from surprises.

But not this day.

A timid knock came from behind the door. It was so unexpected for the guy that he flinched slightly.

“Come in.”

Seeing you in the doorway was a big surprise, as you were supposed to be asleep for two hours already.

“Y/n? Did something happen?” Soshiro completely turned away from his laptop and turned towards you, placing his hands on his lap.

“Yes. I saw the light behind this door and thought you weren't asleep.” Your soft voice was a delight to his ears.

“What? But you know I almost always stay late here. Is that really the reason for your coming?”

“Not at all, Captain.”

“Captain”? We're not in public. Why the formality? After a one-second pause, you slowly approached him, which only raised more questions for him. Your gaze was quite… uncharacteristically playful. His eyes were fixed on you. Inside the brunette was a complete mess of thoughts about what was about to happen. Not that your behavior scared him, just… it was very… unexpected for him?

To his bewildered surprise, you sat on the vice-captain's lap, facing him, with your legs spread on either side. From this gesture, Soshiro didn't even know where to put his hands. Blood began to slowly rush to his face. As if something whispered to you to do this specifically to embarrass him.

In one moment, your face came so close to his that the distance between you was just over an inch. Your sharp look would give anyone goosebumps. Even your deputy commander.

You gently run your finger across his lips, causing him to blush even further.

“It's okay. I just want you to relax a little.”

Without missing a beat, you slide under the table and get on your knees. If the deputy commander was a regular PornHub visitor, he would have understood what was going on.

But before he could think about it, you unbuckled his belt.

You look into his eyes. You were flattered by his reaction to what you were doing. Well, there was no point in him starting this game first.

Just under a week ago, you, like him now, had to experience mixed feelings. You guys were fucking all morning before work. Not only did you end up soaking wet, but Soshiro thought it was a good idea to take your panties for the whole day. This toothy, self-absorbed jerk hid them in his pocket stealthily, pretending he hadn't taken them at all, and spent the whole day holding back laughter at how you blushed and squirmed, being in a short skirt, just so no one would notice that you were without underwear. You were so cute when you glared at him maliciously from the crowd. He definitely deserved an award for the best prank.

“Get and sign, Soshiro.”

“Y/n… mf-f…”

Slowly squeezing out his pre-cum, you enjoyed his reaction, stroking his cock up and down while he trembled. You were in no hurry to take him in your mouth. Turns out, teasing Vice-Captain Hoshina was a very interesting sight. Tonight, you would give anything to see him like this, needy, cute boy.

“Y/n, n-no… what are you doing..? I can't right now…”

“Hm? You don't like it? Should I stop?” Oh, how skillfully you were playing with fire now, knowing he wouldn't say “yes.”

The brunette didn't know what to answer. On the one hand, it wouldn't be very pleasant if you were both like two vegetables the next day, or worse: Mina would see you. But on the other hand, it was truly necessary right now, besides, you looked damn enchanting, kneeling before him, with the knowledge that you could be seen. Just like in a cartoon erotic film.

“No, keep going.” The guy said with difficulty, continuing to watch your actions. Well, how can you refuse such a boy, right?

You run your warm tongue along his tip and the guy immediately flinches.

“Ready to cum already?” you tease.

“Just shut up and keep going.”

What a impatient one.

After playing with his tip, you run your tongue along the entire length.

Soshiro moans and groans. This is the first time you’ve seen him like this.

You continue running your tongue along his cock, giving him the feeling that you’re about to take it in your mouth. Just think, you’re so good at this…

“Y/n, please…”

“Please what?” You knew what it was, but you wanted him to say it himself.

“Please, let me cum…”

Heavy sighs filled the entire room, gradually making it more and more like a brothel. The realization of what was happening seemed to never quite reach the guy. The thought of saying it to your indecent desire, from which you can’t hide, made your fingers clench your hair. The tip went deep into your throat, pushing him down slightly, and the guy paralyzed by being hard, was completely in your power. A whirlwind of thoughts swirled in his head, if they were even there, then they were still very vague and unstable - you set this high note yourself. A little more - and you will reach that very end, where you will hear his loud moan.

“More… like this… aggh!”

To be honest, you were starting to feel sick. But it was worth it to see him worn out from such a pleasurable blowjob. If it weren’t for the incident with the panties, you would have melted in front of him.

“I’m at my limit… keep going, p-please…”

The tempo was increasing. It felt like you could go faster every second.

You didn’t have time to notice how your mouth was filled with hot cum, and Soshiro’s grip on your hair became much stronger. Trying to look into his eyes, you only saw his head thrown back against the back of the chair. From that angle, you could even see the veins in his neck bulging from tension. He is so good, after all.

Besides swallowing the cum and waiting for his further actions, you had no other choice.

“Fuck, damn… ” he exhaled barely audibly, overcome by dizziness and a surge of orgasm, “Come here, baby.” The guy reached out to you to pull you onto his lap.

Without rushing, you climbed out from under the table, wiped your mouth from the leftover cum, and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” The brunette asked, as if under stress.

“Where? To my room. It’s late.” Unusually for you, but quite funny to pretend to be a fool.

“What? Y-you can’t leave me here like that!” Soshiro yelled indignantly, blushing like a lobster.

“Shush, Vice-captain, they’ll hear you. Good night~”

“No! Wait!”

Before he could finish, with a soft chuckle, you slammed the door.

Poor Soshiro didn’t know what to do with his hard as jade dick. Hiding it now would be oh-so-very difficult.

“Damn… I think I messed up…”

[blingblong55]

Now that we don't talk- Simon 'Ghost' Riley

A/N: funny enough...these two drivers are no longer with the girls in these pictures. also, this is not me telling you how reader looks like

--- F!Reader, angst, established!relationship, F1 au, F1 driver!Simon, cheating ---

A/N: watched the Las Vagas shit show of a race and then got inspired....so here's this shit mess of a fic

He was the guy every girl wanted, from the teens to the older women, yet he held your hand on the red carpet at that award show. He kissed you in yachts and danced with you in galas and ballrooms. Paraded your name when he won races. You were everywhere, from tea pages, to fan-made edits and now you're here, stuck in a hotel room, waiting for him. For the past seven months, he's kept you hidden, like you were some kind of repunzel. Never to be let out of the tower unless it was by him. He had what every driver and fan wanted in their lives, fame, wealth, social status, a gorgeous and supportive girlfriend and the way he was the best at his job. 

They always say to look for the smallest of clues, that's why, all the tabloids talked about how he 'had it all'. Now, he took out the girlfriend part and added Playboy to the list. 

Three months before you and him announced your split, he sat down with you. Told you all the truths he kept from you. Your tears well up in that pretty face of yours. "I started to see other women, that was nine months ago, in Spain, that's why I told you to stay at the hotel," his eyes too teared up. It took a lot to not slap him, scream and yell at him for being such a man slut, but you needed to hear it, needed to know the truth before the internet did. He took a deep breath, "I...there's been at least ten different women, I've slept with more but...only those ten did I take to race weekends instead of you." His eyes, full of regret look at you. "When did you stop loving me?" Your question caught him off guard. "I...I think it was a year ago but I thought it was me being anxious over that whole contract thing and having to move and...I'm sorry, I shouldn't make excuses for my actions," he looks down. 

You nod, not daring to look at him anymore. "I'm sorry, R/N," his voice small. "No, I'm sorry," you respond and he looks at you confused. "What do you mean by that?" He questions you. "I'm sorry for falling in love, for being a fool and seeing myself with you for the rest of my life. I'm sorry for trusting you were sleeping alone when I wasn't there...I'm sorry I wasn't enough to make you stay...or to be patient enough and end it like a real man would," you play with your phone's edge. You look at him, finally. "Why did you keep me hidden?" He shakes his head at that question. "The times you were there, the other women were there too," he confesses and your heart stops. "...oh," your voice is small, so soft and filled with so much woe. 

"I...I guess I should go," You stand up. "I'm sorry I wasn't what you deserved, I hope you find a man who treats you like you are the universe to him, I hope he kisses you in public and I wish you happiness, I'm sorry." He stands up too and walks you to the door. 

A month later, you and him confirmed the rumour. "Formula 1 driver Simon Riley and long-time girlfriend [R/N], have announced their split on a joint social media statement." The article read. Your phone is on silent as you reread the message you put out to the world. "To the fans, it is time we confirm that we are no longer together. We have grown apart and it's time we grow up and move on to new parts of our lives. We will always love each other, together or not but our relationship has run its course. All our gratitude for the six years of acceptance, Simon and [R/N]." Your eyes glistened with sorrow as you shook your head. 

For days, you stayed indoors. Cried, looked through memories, private ones the world never saw. What did he do? He was photographed in clubs, hand on a woman's waist, drunk kisses, alcohol, tight dresses and that new title, "F1's playboy." He kept winning, getting more fame and having his name all over the world. Meanwhile, you walk the streets alone. You were there for when he was accepted in F3 and when he moved to F2, even were the shoulder he leaned on all the years he waited to become an F1 driver.  

His bed was never the same, neither was his flat. It was no longer cosy, no longer comforting after a bad or long day. His bed missed the warmth of it. His lips missed the consistent pecks after he gave you a pouty lip when you denied staying up late on race day. What did he miss the most? You, all of you and that was soon to be shown. That Playboy facade was for show, inside, all he wanted was to stop being seen with so many women. He wanted one and quickly, his team noticed. He stopped showing up at parties, and clubs and stopped talking to all the women who weren't there for official business or if they weren't a fan who asked for an autograph or picture. 

That mask only stayed on for eight months, thirteen days and four hours. He stopped showing off his wealth, dressed in only team attire, comfy clothes, or in suits and ties. His bed was empty most nights, his right cheek was no longer stained with the red lipstick you left at every little accomplishment he made. He fixed his image and unfollowed any woman who wasn't important in his career, except one, you. 

And as he did this, all you saw were the old tabloids. Him all over women. You dated off the light the media gave you, you kept your nights away from sight, fixed and resolved all your problems and then, by some cruel mistake, you saw him. Jogging by your place. For some twisted way, your heartbeat fastened. It brought you back to when you'd time him before the season started. That's where the kiss on the right cheek came from. A towel-dried that side of his face, just so you could kiss it. This happened all through your relationship. And, on some Wednesday, a friend invited you to attend the last race of the season. 

You attended, not just because of the invite but because it was a promise. "When I win most if not all races I want you to go, be waiting for me, look up to the podium because my love, that entire season will be yours," he, one night whispered to you. And there you were, in that garage, wearing a hat, his number on it as you watched the qualification. The cameras awaited to capture you and him kissing, but none of that happened, not even a glance from you to him. 

"Riley takes pole, all eyes on him to see if he breaks yet another record," the commentator said. And as he sat there, he thought of you. The good luck kiss, the pat on his helmet before any race. And holding hands when walking to the paddock. It was a ritual, something he held holy to him. If only he could prove he is the man you now deserve if he could get out of his car, run to you and confess a speech he memorised. The one that said all the truth, the one in which he tells you that just in your first year being together, he had a ring picked out, the same one he kept in every coat for when the time was right. And there was that mistake, one fatal one that cost him his Mrs. Riley. Every single second was the right time, every stare, every kiss, every laugh, the whispers, the running from the cameras, it was always you, it was always the right time when with you. 

Simon Riley, world champion, world record breaker, the man every driver wants to be this year, now claiming every single race of that season as he walked to that podium. And, in a crowd of friends, teammates, fans and cameras, he looked for you. National anthems played and as he was about to lose hope, he saw you there, the spot he told you to stand in for when the day came. You look up, and the cameras pan to you and him. That stare, oh that stare that spoke the romance no other book or poet could explain. His smile widened, gaze softened when he noticed you cried. Proud of the man who made his dreams come true. 

Maybe you weren't there for all the days he drove but that engagement ring, that symbolised you, was there for all of them. You give him a nod and his smile widens.

"I'll do it, I swear one day, I'll be added to the list of legends who came before me and when I do, I need you there, my love," he kissed you. "And when I do, you nod at me, that's how I'll know you are proud of me," he whispered. 

As the night came to an end, the photos, flashes, and signatures, all rushed to come and find you. He needed his right cheek kissed and maybe this time it wouldn't be his lips but to just feel you next to him, that fed him enough. He spotted you and as he ran to you, he stopped in his tracks. 

One month, two days and three hours. That is how late he was to you. His gaze was now filled with tears as he saw you hold another hand. A woman, looking for nothing but sex approached him and he declined. "Why not?" She questioned him. "I have a fiancé," he said coldly and moved away from her. He looked down, at a paper, written by his poetic hand, a small box, made by him with the help of some carpenter, all gripped as he swore he would not give up. Not ever, especially when he knows that in this life, he was meant for one woman. Maybe he did fuck up, maybe he will be forever alone but to know that for one second he held you in his arms, that was enough. 

He nodded and sighed, "Is it over now?" he thought. "No," your heart would've responded for you. As he turns and walks away, you look back and you notice that box. Your heart...oh that tingle that makes you feel alive. Maybe it was all in his head, maybe he wasn't late...maybe. "Simon!" you called out, the crowd too loud for him to hear you. Your friend lets go of your hand. "Simon!" you move through the crowds. "Simon, stop!" You push and run. Adrenaline, maybe not like the one he has after every race but it's still something. He walks away, getting into a car and looking at that piece of paper. 

No one heard of him for months. No one heard of you for months. 

My love, my R/N, I made a mistake. Not cheating but one that is worse, pretending I didn't call you my wife to everyone else. A vow I made in my head, a wedding night I planned one night as we made love. Truth is, no, I didn't cheat. No, I didn't sleep with anyone when I was with you. What happened was, I noticed it. I noticed how you paused your life for mine, how you took care of me, how you made sure I ate healthy, slept enough, and got used to different time zones, all whilst giving your life no attention. I was 17 when we first met, you and I, an accidental 'Hi' one that gave me the privilege of falling in love with the woman who knows me better than anyone else. I've known you for a decade now, loved you for nine of those years, and made you my girlfriend for five of them. I wore that title with pride. By the way, didn't you ever question why everyone called you my wife or Mrs. Riley? Funny how you didn't even ask me about it. I admit, I was only at those clubs looking for you, I didn't drink but pretended to, I kissed their cheeks, made it look like I kissed their lips. In my head, I was married. I am married. Called you my little wife when you patted my helmet to the mechanics, they laughed. I did sleep with other women, I confess to that but I didn't kiss them, didn't care for their pleasure, not when I promised it was your pleasure...just yours that mattered to me. Did you keep my locket? I hope you did, if not...it's fine, we'll find a new one and start fresh. I know you are wondering, why I can't let you talk as I give this speech and I know you are crying, your lips quiver as I confess. It's a reason why I haven't looked up from this piece of paper. I can't see you cry, you know that. I am begging, begging as an imbecile, to have you again. To prove that I never cheated, I lied about doing it but never did. You'd think I'd be crazy to cheat on a crazy girl like you? Baby, that was a joke, although...you are a little crazy but I still love you. I love you...yeah...yeah, I do. I know you are asking, when will this stupid man stop talking and it's now. Well, wait...just let me say this. Marry me, marry me so I don't have to pretend anymore. So...please, be kind to my bastard heart and marry me.

A/N: you know well a Kasper fic isn't a Kasper angst fic if it doesn't end in a 'but are they together? did he die? did she die?' way

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[felassan]

Some more DA:TV and related snippets from Sylvia Feketekuty, Part 3. rest of post under a cut due to length and spoilers. [Post One, Post Two]

Ran out of characters or something in post 2. :)

User: "I LOVE the line "a raw, strangling fear, struck somewhere deep past the heart". It's beautiful and it resonates with me since I myself struggle with anxiety. Now for the questions! 1) Can you talk more about the banter between Emmrich and Harding after we start romancing him? What is her motivation behind it? Is she critical of their relationship or is she worried about Emmrich? 2) I love the argument Rook and Emmrich have before Tearstone Island, it gives nice depth to their relationship. But what did Emmrich think he would accomplish with that conversation? Did he want to break up with Rook because he thought it would be easier for him if something happened to Rook? 3) Not a question but I love Hezenkoss. Such a dedicated hater lol. -- Sylvia Feketekuty: "That was one of the first lines where I started to feel I had a handle on his voice in the first draft, so that means a lot to hear. (And thank you for noting the team effort, I got a lot of great feeback from the other writers and the editors on Emmrich. He wouldn't be as good without them.) On to questions: 1) My personal take: I think Harding is worried because she's very perceptively noticed how hard Emmrich's fallen for Rook, and that he's a man of large emotions. (And because they become pretty good friends over the course of the game.) 2) I think Emmrich let his anxieties run away with him, afraid that this romance wasn't, couldn't possibly be the One True Love he so wanted, and that's how his fear expressed itself. (Did he WANT to break up? No, but he was bracing himself in case Rook did think it was only a fling and so on and so forth, they should get it out in the open, and so on.) 3) Thank you! I loved writing her. She will always be a hater until her (un)dying day."" [source, two, three, four, five, six] -- John Epler: "someday we'll get the Hezenkoss/Anaris reluctant team-up the world deserves" [source] -- Sylvia: "Somehow, in the realm of pure imagination, they're already trying to strangle each other." [source] -- User: "Very important question- would Anaris finger gun? (Finger crossbow?)" -- John: "as a man defined primarily by his tremendous insecurities Anaris also takes himself incredibly seriously and unconsciously mirrors Elgar'nan, an elf he both loathes and desperately wishes he were so the real question is, would Elgar'nan finger gun?" [source]

User: "On my 1st run I thought some choices felt like the 'bad' ones and avoided them - Lich Emmerich, Harding's Anger, Qunari Taash etc. But on my 2nd run I was so pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't the case! None of the companion choices feel right or wrong, just different, and that's fantastic." / Sylvia: "Thanks! We tried to make either choice compelling, to have something for different players either way. So I'm so glad to hear that." [source]

User, on Manfred winning a character award: "Congrats Manfred we knew you had it in you!" / Sylvia: "He did it! My little skeleton pal did it! (Especial thanks to the animators and voice actor, Matt Mercer, because like 90% of his personality lives in those gangly limbs and his hissing)" [source]

User: "I just wanted to say that Emmerich and Josephine are so interesting and well-written" / Sylvia: "I feel very lucky I got to bring them into DA, with teams that went for them 100%." [source]

User: "I enjoyed Emmrich's addendum to the codex about Templars in Nevarra: are they primarily there as backup if something goes profoundly wrong? Would they ever get someone who just wants to help down in the Necropolis, pretty please? (also <3 Vorgoth, they're great)" / Sylvia: ""are they primarily there as backup if something goes profoundly wrong?" That was my own take. You don't NOT want Templars, in case some ritual gets disrupted in an utterly disastrous fashion. But other times...the Mortalitasi flex their clout. "Would they ever get someone who just wants to help down in the Necropolis, pretty please?" Some Watchers might not be immune to flattery. I think a few templars could be all right under some circumstances, but that they'd be assigned a mage. (A bit of a reverse of the southern mage-templar pairs.) "(also <3 Vorgoth, they're great)" Thank you! I was so pumped when I saw the final art for them, everything I'd dreamed. (And their voice actor, Brent Mukai, was amazing.)" [source, two, three]

User: "I wanted to ask you what you think nevarran wedding attire might look like? or if you’ve considered it? asking for science." / Sylvia: "Geeze, that's a good question. I imagine the couple would exchange some custom-made grave gold pieces to mark the occasion, given how important it is in Nevarra. But other than that, you should let your imagination run wild." [source]

User: "Is seeing Josephine as Asexual or part of the Ace Spectrum a valid interpretation of her character?" / Sylvia: "Totally, if that's how you want to see the character and relationship. (My policy is generally that if it's not directly contradicted in the game, you can take that kind of thing as a valid read of the character.)" [source]

Sylvia: "I'll say this (spoiler free): there's a scene in "Walking the Graves" where I felt Emmrich's voice finally click for me on the first draft, so that one's special to me." [source]

User: "I remembered some questions I had about Emmrich.. Can he play any instruments? I always invision him playing a pipe organ or maybe violin! If not, are there any he would like to learn? 😊 Also, I was curious, can he ice skate? out on that frozen Nevarran lake in winter" / Sylvia: "Those are interesting questions. Because they're something I never considered or wrote, there's no real canon there yet. I see Emmrich as more an appreciator of music than a musician, but can't rule it out. As for ice-skating, I'm not even sure we've shown that in Thedas. I think Emmrich would enjoy it though. UPDATE: a friend reminded me about this tidbit from World of Thedas 2: "Ice skating – during the winter in Nevarra, people often skate on the frozen over Minanter river." So it's canon now. Emmrich ice-skates. He instantly manifests a scarf when doing so. (I fall on my sword for forgetting this.)" [source, two, three]

User: "about Josephine: what would her ideal/dream wedding be? I was tickled when I read about that in her letter to her Inquisitor I just have to know" / Sylvia: "what a delightful question in turn! I think she'd want a big, flower-filled, no-holds barred wedding at her family's estate. All her relatives, friends she made in the Inquisition, the Inquisitor's relatives (if they have any/keep in touch.) She'd begin planning 16 months in advance." [source]

Sylvia: "Aw thank you! (On behalf of me, and the rest of the team, so many people worked so hard on our eccentric necromancer man.)" [source]

Sylvia: "The Mourn Watch and Emmrich are a bit eccentric, but I really wanted their reverence for the dead (and the living) to feel genuine." [source]

User: "As someone who himself gets awful pangs about the thought of death and nothingness, it was really refreshing to see a character have those same thoughts as me, especially as he also happens to be a Necromancer who is around death daily." / Sylvia: "You're welcome, and thanks for the kind words. It's a familiar thing for me too, so I really wanted to talk about it. I suspect it's far more common than we might think." [source]

User: "My HOF was a spirit healer, very kind & very curious, & for years I've considered how that special connection to spirits might lend itself to an interest in Thedan necromancy & puzzling out where spirits & souls begin & end. Emmrich, Manfred/Curiosity and the wisps gave me so much to think about!" / Sylvia: "Thank you so much! And that's interesting about your HOF. They may've found some kindred spirits if they ever ventured further north." [source]

User: "No questions other than thank you and the team for Emmrich and Nevarra / The Mourn Watch. Seeing death treated with such kindness, empathy and as beautiful renewal rather than grim end is so refreshing and personal to me, it was a great experience to have!" / Sylvia: "That's one of the things I really wanted to express in Emmrich's arc, so I'm so glad you felt that way." [source]

User: "I feel that my Rook would want to learn more about the Mourn Watch after saving the world." / Sylvia: "Emmrich and the Watchers would love that. Emmrich probably has like, five lectures he could rattle off without preparation for your Rook already, haha." [source]

User: "do you have any favorite tidbits about Audric or Myrna that you can share?" / Sylvia: "As for tidbits, hrm. I did post something on what Audric's up to these days. Nothing surprising, but he's doing well! And I never wrote it in-game, so it lives in the hazy world of "only canon in my head": while Emmrich doesn't come from nobility, Myrna does-the Van Markham branch. She had the finest education, even before the Watchers. She doesn't play it up much, though. Her real passion's her work. And the theater. (I did a small bit about her love of theater here [link or see Post Two]. I think she's a regular attendee.)" [source, two, three]

Sylvia: "I also really wanted to explore more of the Necropolis ever since I first read about it. I'm very lucky the team and I finally got to show everyone the crypts..." [source]

User: "he stories, the worldbuilding, the characters, the locations, I loved it all so much I played my MW Rook twice" / Sylvia: "Nice. The Mourn Watch appreciates your studious interest in the hallowed art of necromancy." [source]

Sylvia: "thank you on behalf of the whole team, as you've surmised there were a lot of people bringing him to life. (Especial props to Nick Borraine, his VA, who's wonderful in the role.)" [source]

Sylvia: "It always makes me happy when people mention the short stories, and glad you enjoyed meeting (and perhaps romancing...) Emmrich." [source]

Sylvia, on Vorgoth: "I'm afraid I deliberately left our cloak-shrouded Watcher a mystery. But I'll say this: I'm sure they'd show your Rook in that picture their art collection, an honor Vorgoth bestows only on those they like or trust." [source]

User: "does the watch have any rules in regards to courtship/marriage between fellow watchers? An does Emmrich lecture at the Necropolis or at the College of Magi in Cumberland?" / Sylvia: "1) I actually got into that a little here [link or see Post Two]. Short story, it's not forbidden for mages within Circles to court or marry, so no particular rules there I think. 2) That is a very good question. Full disclosure, I am answering on the fly with what I think makes most sense. I can see Emmrich doing a bit of both in his younger days. But as he grew older, more specialized in his field, and had more MW responsibilities, he probably worked more out of the Necropolis. (And prefers it anyhow.) By the time DAV starts, it's probably been years since he was in Cumberland." [source, two, three]

User: "Thank you for your moving portrayal of thanatophobia. While most people have some fear of death, it was amazing to see the thanatophobic panic attacks etc portrayed so accurately." / Sylvia: "Thanks - they're not an unfamiliar phenomenon to me, I wanted Emmrich to try to get across that helplessness and wretched terror. (I suspect more people are affected by them than we commonly talk about.)" [source]

User: "whoever decided “DA liches are immortal protectors and not always evil?” Chef’s kiss. It’s all I’ve ever wanted!" / Sylvia: "Thanks again! It was in Emmrich's first draft. The other writers and editors gave me good feeback on lichdom and the philosophy behind it especially" [source]

User: "I wonder, did you prefer writing for either lich Emmrich or mortal? I would imagine it's a bit different." / Sylvia: "I wouldn't say I had a favorite, but it was fun to try to figure out what approach to take in scenes that had split lich/mortal lines. I didn't want Emmrich to be unrecognizable as a lich, but I did want him to occasionally be a little different, slowly absorbing what he'd become. We see him at the start of this new stage of his existence, so I think even by the end of Veilguard he's still just at the very start of adjusting to, and exploring, what he is now. I liked giving him that wonder!" [source, two]

Sylvia: "The Memorial Gardens were the heart of the Necropolis to me, the level artists and level designer and our audio team worked so much magic there. (And the lighting team! First time I saw it properly lit I think I clapped.)" [source]

User: "Also wanted to know if you wrote Josephine’s letter to Inquisitor if romanced?" / Sylvia: "I did write that letter, thanks! It was a joy to return to Josephine, even in a codex sent to her dearest Inquisitor." [source]

Sylvia on where Emmrich sleeps: "As to his sleeping arrangements, I gave a tantalizing (non) answer here [[link] or see [Post Two]]. (Though I think he'd prefer a proper bed, whatever form it takes. Emmrich's too old to be sleeping on cots like a student anymore.)" [source]

Sylvia: "So glad the team and I got to crack open the ancient doors of the Grand Necopolis, I've been curious about it too ever since reading about it eons ago. (And very glad you're liking MW Rook, I really wanted things to feel different when chatting with Emmrich as a Watcher yourself!)" [source]

User: "I enjoyed Johanna IMMENSELY and she is most definitely my favourite villain of all time now, so thank you for her as well!" / Sylvia: "She was a treat to write. (And Hezenkoss would 100% applaud you on your fine judgement and obvious taste.)" [source]

Sylvia on Emmrich's fear: "I'm not unfamiliar with that fear either, and it means a great deal to hear getting to know Emmrich helped you out even a little. (And happy to hear you dug Manfred!)" [source]

Sylvia: "I'm especially glad you liked the battle theme. Our music director instantly got the tone of Emmrich's arc, he and the audio team spun off so many great tracks from that core theme." [source]

User on Emmrich: "He's a brilliant character and everyone involved in his creation should be very proud!" / Sylvia: "There were a lot of people working on him, I was lucky so many people got onboard right away with our professor of necromancy. And I loved writing him chatting with Bellara, the mentor/student relationship was fun to hash out with her writer." [source]

User: "(1/2) Hello Sylvia! Like everyone else, I love Emmrich, but I also wanted to say thank you for your work in DAI. Josie was my first romance in DA and I love her a lot. My question had to do with her codex entry in Veilguard for a romanced Inquisitor: (2/2) Her letter in Veilguard implies she hasn't married yet, 10 years later. Josie is so image-conscious in how she conducts herself, so I was surprised she would put off marriage for that long as the first born noble of her house. Curious what the idea behind it was if you can share." / Sylvia: "Thank you! I'm honored to hear Josepine was your first DA romance. Re: marriage, you're right, that is a big time gap. I basically didn't want to surprise returning players with a marriage that had already happened to their Inquisitor offscreen. I'm sure Josephine has kept busy with world affairs, and so has the Inquisitor, which isn't a bad reason it's taken so long. But I thought it'd be more engaging for players to imagine the proposal, how they'd react, what the wedding would be like, as something good happening to them in the future." [source, two]

User: "I wanted to ask about banter I saw online; why does Taash say Emmrich smells like potash? Isn't that a bad smell, like rotten eggs? He doesn't strike me as a smelly person outside of being around the dead. Maybe Trick would know too" / Trick Weekes: "IIRC, I based it on residual scents that would come from chemicals -- can't remember whether it was what you'd get from working with embalming liquids or something used to style hair. That said, Taash comments on scents non-adaari can't detect, so it's not like he smells bad to normal people." [source] / Sylvia: "Chiming in late, but what Trick said. Taash has an incredible sense of smell, but they're detecting the tiny residuals. (Which is why poor Taash can smell that burial Emmrich helped with, even though he scrubbed down thoroughly afterwards. Gotta keep hygienic!)" [source]

User: "I wish more games had Romances like this, he was just simply perfect. [Emmrich] believably cares for Rook." / Sylvia: "I'm glad that part felt heartfelt, it was one of the cores of his romance for me." [source]

User: "What inspired you to want to go into writing for games? Or just writing in general?" / Sylvia: "I've played games since I was about 5 years old and that's what really did it. I fell in love at once with these cool, weird little worlds you could visit as someone else. As for writing in general, it feels goofy (or ominous) to call it a Calling, but it's just something I've always enjoyed doing. It's also probably what I'm best at, which means I'm unfathomably lucky I ended up at BioWare. I don't think I would've been happy until I was doing game writing somewhere, somehow!" [source, two]

User: "I have two questions about his and Johanna's childhood. 1. How and when did he and her(johanna) meet? 2. What was the story between him and her back then? Sorry if it's too long a question. Thank you! Oh I'm so sorry, how could I forget another important question😭😓 3. How tall do you think he is👀 He's almost as tall as Taash!" / Sylvia: "I have not forgotten the other two questions, I'll get to them later (it's just getting late here) but this one's a little easier. I THINK he's about 6 foot 2 inches without his boots, so about 6 foot 3 with them on. (A character artist would have to confirm or deny if I'm remembering right.)" [source]

Sylvia on her time at BioWare: "So I gt a 5 year award statue that looked like a glass disc, and then we swapped over the to the BioWare Character award statues so I got Wrex as my 10th one. (I think I remember people who'd been around earlier than me with those clocks on their desks!)" [source]

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 某某 / Mou Mou / The On1y One

The On1y One is a 2024 Taiwanese coming-of-age drama about two high school students who fall in love, but more importantly, become friends -- and oh, they're also living in the same house now, because their parents have decided to get married.

Let's get this part out of the way: Yes, they're (almost) stepbrothers. No, that is not a kink thing at all, especially since they meet and start having complicated emotions about one another before they know their parents are together. Look, I had a childhood acquaintance promoted to stepsibling when I was in high school too, and I can tell you that your feelings about someone do not immediately jump to close family status just because your mom likes their dad. This is a show about how becoming a family; it is not a show about fucking your family.

Here are five reasons I think you should absolutely watch this twelve-episode drama -- and they're going to be as spoiler-free as I can make them, largely because...

1. Holy shit, it's ... actually good?

Believe me, no one could be as shocked as I was to find out this was a thing of actual quality. I first found out about this as 'hey, the handsome doctor from House Haunters is in a Taiwanese BL about high-schoolers' -- which of course sold me on it immediately, as I thought Liu Dongqin was the absolute highlight of the beautiful disaster that is Psych-Hunter, but which also, you must admit, sounds more like a novelty than a real thing of objective value.

Thus, I was prepared for trash! More accurately, I was prepared to enjoy trash. I am clearly on record as a trash-enjoyer. I was going to tuck in and gleefully laugh my way through awkward antics just to see that handsome boy kiss another boy.

Which means I was not prepared to be knocked off my feet by how thoughtful, intense, well-acted, and damn beautiful this series is. It's good. It's actually good. It is, like Beyond Evil, a thing you could put in front of Your Average American Television Enjoyer Who Can Handle Subtitles (And Boys Kissing) without having to apologize every five seconds about the jank. It's stunningly lit. It's chunked into episodes that have reasons to be episodes. It's well-written in a way that even comes through the translation.

Here's a clue to its quality: It's directed by Liu Kuang-Hui, known for Your Name Engraved Herein, an explictly gay film released in 2020 that won, like, all the awards -- which it fucking deserved to. (You don't need to have seen Your Name to watch this, but I think if you have, it adds an extra layer of meaning.) This is a BL made by someone who understands how being a teen boy in love with another teen boy is like being expected to walk around with a knife in your stomach while you pretend everything's fine.

But this is not a show about misery! It is a show about building connections, learning to trust, getting over yourself, and finding joy in taking care of other people. Maybe that sounds a little grandiose for a tiny Taiwanese BL, but it's not an exaggeration. When this drama bills itself as a coming-of-age narrative, it means it's going headfirst into the beautiful hell of being seventeen.

Keep those tissues on hand. You'll need them.

2. What if you fell in love with someone you also liked?

This is a true cat4cat relationship -- but different cat personalities! Finally, diverse cat representation!

Jiang Tian is a feral kitty who has spent so long telling everyone he hates them that he has no idea how to convey that he likes someone, and thus spends the first several episodes basically dropping dead birds at Sheng Wang's feet. Don't let his stoic nature fool you -- he's exactly as into this as (and much sooner than) the much more demonstrative Sheng Wang. Episodes end with little scenes you saw earlier, but recontextualized from Jiang Tian's perspective. So don't ever worry that Jiang Tian's being taken advantage of or coerced in any way. The boy has agency, and he uses it.

Meanwhile Sheng Wang is like a pampered little housecat who only eats wet food and sulks about everything -- but he's earned at least some of it, as he's clearly dealing with some major life upheavals. New city! New school! New friends! New house! New stepmom! New stepbrother! New and horrible things his teenage body is doing to him! So it's not surprising that he's clinging to what familiar comforts he has, even if it means being a total bitch about it.

And they become friends. That's the great part. This is a love story, but it's a love story where the love is friend-shaped. If anything, the friendship is the more important (and visible) aspect of the dynamic. It's not saying that one is more righteous or correct than the other -- it's saying that friendship is part of romantic love! Maybe it's even the best part of it! Maybe the only thing better than falling in love is making your crush your best friend and then falling in love with them.

It gets to the point where they spend most of their time not thinking about being in love with one another because they're such good friends. This is just what having a best friend is like, right?

(Jiang Tian knows it is not just what having a best friend is like. Jiang Tian is constantly chewing glass because he's sure friendship is the best he's going to get out of this, and also it's the best friendship he's ever had, and if that's all he gets -- and it will be, he's sure of it -- it'll be enough. It'll have to be.)

My favorite parts of their relationship are when Sheng Wang and Jiang Tian get to just enjoy spending time with one another as complete goobers. They're such teen boys! I mean, they're teen boys from very particular circumstances that have made them have to grow up fast, so it's great when they just get to regress around one another and act their age. The whole scene at the carnival is by itself worth the price of admission.

Look, here's some more shots of them being cute at one another. Don't let Jiang Tian's stoic face in the other pictures fool you. He's capable of making expressions, and it's so good when he does.

See?

3. This, too, is yuri

I mean, shit, you make a gay teacher and I'm already there. You make two gay teachers and I'm going to love you forever. Then you make them both gay teachers and gay owners of a little gay cafe? I don't know if my little trope-loving heart can take it!

Enter Zhao Xi and Lin Tingbei ("Benny").

From the moment you meet these two, it is obvious to you, the viewer, that they are a married couple. Except they're not. They're not married. They're not even a couple. It took me like nine episodes to realize that the reason they're acting so weird is not that they're trying to hide their relationship from other people, but that they're not in a relationship. They are mutually pining for one another and have no idea that the other one is having similar feelings.

Sorry, I have to go feral about these two sapphic-coded gay men for a moment: You two had an incredible meet-cute, went abroad at the same time, came back together, opened a cafe together, call one another "partner," have rainbow motifs on various visible objects in your life, AND YOU STILL ARE UNAWARE THAT YOU'RE BOTH IN LOVE WITH ONE ANOTHER

I can't stress this enough: When you meet them, your first thought is, oh, you two are married. MARRIED. Not just dating, but comfortably wedded. I kept expecting one of them to have a gentle After-School Special moment he tells the children, no, we're life partners as well as business partners. But they didn't! And do you know why? It's because THEY DON'T EVEN SEEM TO KNOW THAT THE OTHER ONE IS ALSO GAY

The only thing that makes sense is that they're both male lesbians. This is some Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko! shit right here. How do you unknowingly wind up in what is basically a marriage with man you've never even kissed? I don't know, but they've somehow managed to do it. It's insane. It's incredible.

I don't even feel like I'm spoiling you for anything here! Like, I wish I'd known from the start they weren't actually together, because I was baffled by their side plot for fully three-quarters of the series. Why are they behaving like this? Why are you being weirdly jealous about the hot lady teacher? Oh, it's because YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE HUSBANDS, THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU HUSBANDS

WE GOT DOUBLE MUTUAL PINING HERE, FOLKS, DOUBLE MUTUAL PINING, TWO SUCCESSIVE GENERATIONS OF GAY DIPSHITS WHO ARE AS BAD AS YOU CAN BE ABOUT FEELINGS WITHOUT IMMEDIATELY DYING OF IT

Sorry about the caps lock, just ... I'll be over here screaming into a pillow about it, okay? Okay, thanks.

4. Actual Teen Feelings

So nobody in this production is an actual teenager; both leads were just on the underside of thirty when it filmed, and all the other "kids" are at least in their mid-twenties.

And honestly, I like the aged-up casting better, since ... look, I'm over forty, and I just don't find the youths as attractive as I did when I was much closer to that age. Seeing actual 16- and 17-year-olds do this would have given me the ick. So I feel kind of like, this is a teen story told for adults, and the way it does that is by giving you actors that embody how cool you thought your peers looked when you were that age, and not how gangly and awkward everyone actually looked.

I've described the behavior of the teen characters as "rationally irrational" -- like, you know that the decisions they're making are bad, and they kind of know it too, but you also get that they don't have the regulatory mechaisms to compensate for when their hormones tell them it's time to sulk, or or talk back, or lie, or do something reckless. They're stupid teens, but they're not stupid because the writing is stupid. They're stupid because the writing is good and knows exactly how stupid teens are.

And of course this is most visible with our boys, who are complete dipshits in some very rationally irrational ways.

I alluded earlier to the fact that I have stepsiblings, and that I acquired them during my teen years, so yeah, a lot of the complicated stepfamily dynamics hit hard for me. Sheng Wang's mother is dead, and he's being a sulky baby about it because he (kind of correctly!) feels like his dad both is trying to replace her and has started paying attention more to his new partner than to his son. Sure, an adult with more coping mechanisms would be able to handle it without being a dick to everyone around them. But he's not an adult -- but also he's not not an adult? He's in that awful place of adolescence where you feel all grown up, but people still keep making huge life decisions for you. I remember it; it sucks.

Meanwhile Jiang Tian's father is still alive, but that's complicated too and has led to Jiang Tian's being kind of estranged from both his divorced parents. His then becomes a story less about how to get along with your new stepfather, and more how to reconcile with a mother who wasn't always in a place to make the best decisions for you she could, as you are yourself approaching the age she was when she made those decisions.

It's just so many feelings! Just a giant fucked-up Sargasso Sea of feelings! Every nerve is raw and every emotion is like staring straight at the sun! So many characters are completely at the mercy of their worst instincts, to the point where you can't even be mad because, yeah, if I had no ability to tell my most visceral intrusive thoughts to go away, I'd be ruining my own life left and right too.

Also, you are not prepared for the parts with boners. I say no more.

bonus: LUCKY CAT!!!

When was the last time you saw a fat character in a piece of Asian media -- or a piece of any media -- who was just allowed to be fat in peace? Whose fatness was not the constant butt of jokes? Who was not depicted always (comedically) eating? Who wasn't thrown into the mix just so their sexual/romantic interest in some skinny person could be turned into gross-out moments?

Lucky Cat is the best. Her students call her Lucky Cat because she's always cheerful and she does a precious little paw thing. The name is meant to be endearing! They like her, and she's portrayed consistently as a good educator and generally nice person to be around. She's fashionable, too! She has the cutest little outfits!

And she's fat! It's just a thing about her not worth commenting upon! Shit, I wish the show's lack of commentary weren't worth my commenting upon, except, ugh, you know it is. It's even more so worth saying because I've seen her in something else where she was exactly what she isn't here, and it was vile. The contrast is incredible.

Love you, girl, one fat, overcaffeinated educator to another.

5. Delicious(ly timed) pining

I want to talk about the structure of the show for a moment, and I'm going to try and do it as spoiler-free as I can. Even so, this gets into territory that you might be better off going into blind, especially if you like the tension of not knowing where a love story is going. If you're convinced already that you need to watch this show, skip this section -- scroll right down to the picture of a pitcher and glass of lemon water on a kitchen counter.

Go on, now, get.

However, if you're still on the fence about watching it, though (or if you've seen it already and just like reading my thoughts on it!), here's a very slightly spoilery selling point for you:

Normally, BL shows are all about waiting for the moment those boys finally realize what's up and kiss one another. The On1y One makes what I think is a brilliant decision to frontload the kissing. These boys smooch twice all the way up in episode 2 -- but under circumstances that are, respectively, a dare and a faux-casual demonstration that the dare didn't mean anything.

And that's it. They don't kiss again.

I think this is such a good choice because it makes those boys spend the entire rest of the show with three thoughts in their heads: we have already kissed; it didn't mean anything to him; I think it might mean something to me. Their entire friendship is colored by the knowledge that, yeah, that happened. If anything, it makes the BL-style waiting even more glorious, because now it's not about wondering if I kissed him, what would he do? but about wondering if I kissed him again, would it still be a joke to him?

There's also some very good asymmetry in there, in how Jiang Tian is clearly already the world's greatest expert at stuffing his gay desires into a little box and not making them anyone else's problem, while Sheng Wang is having a sexual awakening in real time.

You figure out very near the end why Jiang Tian has a complicated relationship to his own gay longings, and boy, is it a hell of a reason. I know we joke about characters who are both gay and homophobic, and I don't want to call him homophobic, because that's not it. But you definitely get to see why, of all his locked-down feelings, he's locked the gay ones down hardest of all.

Meanwhile Sheng Wang is popular, has friends, has surely been on a number of cute and chaste little dates, has probably even kissed a couple very nice girls -- and has clearly never had a horny thought in his entire life before now. He is both falling in love and figuring out what makes him hard at the same time, and oh boy, that is some rough shit to hit at seventeen. You get to see him recontextualize those kisses several times, slowly putting names to the emotions he didn't know he was having. And when he does finally understand the extent of what he's feeling, he makes a stupid decision about it, because of course he does. He's seventeen. Stupid decisions come with the territory.

Anyway, once they finally get to fucking, Sheng Wang is going to be the lord high king of the bratty bottoms. Just an absolute menace. He's got Jiang Tian's number so hard, and Jiang Tian is going to love suffering through every minute of it.

~

Okay, did you scroll down? Here's a little more spoiler buffer! Hi! How are you doing today? I'm having fun writing this. I hope you'll like watching it. There, that should be enough.

caveat: This is not an ending.

I need to stress how much this is clearly made to be a part one of more, and also how a second season has not been announced and thus is not guaranteed. I am being optimistic based on a) how good it is, b) how much clout the director has, and c) the fact that it's so new, it makes sense that further installments might not be announced yet. But if an unfinished (and possibly never-finished) series bothers you, maybe put this one in your pocket for later.

But oh, this show needs a second season. I am burning incense to the television gods in hope that it gets a second season.

Want to tuck in for some actual good television?

This one is wonderfully easy to find. We watched it on GagaOOLala, but you can also find it on AppleTV, WeTV, Viki, and iQiyi.

Back to the Your Name Engraved Herein connection: The On1y One reads to me in many ways like a celebration of how far Taiwanese culture has come about gay people. Like, things still absolutely aren't perfect in 2012, when this show is set, but at the same time, it's no longer 1987 -- which was the homophobic, hopeless world Liu Kuang-Hui grew up in. If Your Name tells the story of what actually happened, this series tells the story of what the person that all happened to imagines things could be like today. It's so hopeful it makes me choke up a little thinking about it.

Bah, just go watch it. Do it! Go! There's links right up there!

Gay thoughts say peek-a-boo.

[awriterinthenight]

"What'd She Say To You?"- Leo Valdez

requested: anonymous

words: 1817

warnings: reader is insecure, a bit of swearing, reader avoids Leo

summary: Someone tries to break up you and Leo, but Leo won't let that happen. But for you, you start to feel insecure about it.

No one could compete with Aphrodite kids. They were the prettiest, the most charming, and even some of the most cunning. If an Aphrodite kid liked someone they would stop at almost nothing to get them. Some weren't like this, but others could be even worse. To you the worst one was the girl who tried to break up you and your boyfriend.

Jessica, or Jess as everyone called her, had plotted a way to try and get your boyfriend, Leo Valdez, to break up with you so that she could get with Leo. She planned to charm him, and convince him that you were actually a terrible person, so he would then break up with you. What she didn't account for was how much Leo Valdez truly loved you, and could see how clearly she was trying to get him to break up with you.

"And I just think someone as talented as you should not be with someone as useless as them, they're bringing you down," Jess said, trying to make herself be as seductive as possible, which made Leo want to laugh, but he held it in.

Leo shrugged, "I think they're pretty great actually, they're my girlfriend, and they also have some pretty good talents," he defended, watching her get more frustrated the more he wouldn't budge.

"But they're so...them. I mean they don't talk to anyone at camp, that's really weird, don't you think," she uttered, which wasn't a lie, since you were very anti-social.

Once again Leo brushed it off, "They talk to me, I think that's good enough."

Jess knew she needed a new plan since she couldn't get Leo to break up with you, she needed to get you to break up with Leo. She left Leo after that conversation to go search for you.

While Leo and Jess were talking you had seen them from across the camp. It made you feel a bit nervous, since you were the opposite of her, so why would he talk to her, but its not really any of your business, Leo can talk you other people, but still why her, and more of why was she talking to him, and why was she so flirty? So many questions, thoughts, and negative thoughts flooded your mind while you zoned out.

You were startled when Jess herself showed up behind you tapping you on the shoulder. You were shocked as to why she would talk to you. She'd given you more dirty looks than she's had boyfriends, and she's had a lot.

"Hey, I know we don't talk much, but I just thought since I'm a girl’s girl I would tell you what Leo was saying about you," she said, acting as if she was trying to tell you something important and not act like she was lying.

"Oh," you muttered quietly, "W-what was he saying?" you asked confused as to why Leo would say something that warranted her to tell you.

She took a breath and grabbed your hand before she spoke, "I'm so sorry, and I swear I'm just trying to look out for you, but he was saying how you were basically useless. He said how you don't really have a talent, and how he's really unattractive to how anti-social you are. He also said something about how he thought you weren't that pretty, and he's only with you cause you were easy to date and he never actually liked you, which I think is bogus, you're so pretty," if she wasn't such a bad person, she could've won an academy award for her performance.

You were in complete shock from her statement. Did he really say, and think those things? "Wait, but that doesn't- I mean- he never seemed like he believed any of those things, that- I'm just- I," you could barely make out sentences from your confusion, and the shock you were in.

"I'm so sorry, but I think he's completely crazy for thinking and saying those things," she said, dropping your hands, "A little advice that may be helpful. You should really dump him, you deserve someone who truly loves you." She then left, leaving you to wallow in her words that were apparently Leo's.

You had had problems in the past with being insecure, and having fake friends. People used to say things behind your back, and still do sometimes. It affected you deeply, so even though deep down you knew what she said was a lie, most of you believed what she said. It wouldn't be the first time someone lied to you about how they felt about you.

Talking to Leo was the right option in this situation, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. What if he really did say and mean those things? What if he was lying to you all the time? What if every time he called you beautiful he was lying, and wanted to tell you how horrible you looked? What if every time he called you 'mi amor' he never truly meant it?

Every thought spun in your head, making you avoid Leo more and more. You sat by yourself at the Hecate table instead of sneaking to the Hephaestus table like you usually did. You didn't have many siblings, and the couple you did mostly stayed silent during meals. That gave you more time to ponder about everything you ever did wrong.

***

Leo could tell something was wrong immediately. You were avoiding him, not sitting with him at meals for the past two days, and walking the other direction every time he tried to talk to you. Leo was worried about you, and why you were avoiding him so much, so he set out to talk to you about what was going on.

Luckily he knew one place he could always find you at. The forest was your favorite place, especially one tree that dropped a bit and could create the perfect shade. Leo walked over to where you were, building up the courage to confront you.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" he asked, being directed, but his words came out as a plea for you to answer.

You looked up from your book startled by him, but fear of what he might say to you consumed you, "I-I've just been busy with counsellor duties," you managed to lie.

Leo knew you were hiding something, but was doing his best to not get on his knees and beg you to tell him. He sat down next to you, cringing when you moved yourself farther away from him, "You've been busy before, and haven't avoided me. I know something is going on, please tell me what it is, amor."

The name 'amor' made you think of exactly what Jessica had said. You tried to keep yourself together, but a few stray tears slid down your cheeks. Leo quickly wiped away your tears with his thumb.

"What's wrong, princessa?" he asked, worried for you, ready to kill whoever made you cry.

You decided to tell Leo the truth, the worst that could happen was that it was true, "Remember the day you were talking with Jessica?" you asked him through sniffles.

He nodded, letting you continue, "I saw you talking to her, and I might've been a bit insecure, but I tried to think nothing of it. Then she came up to me and said that you told her all these horrible things about me. I know I shouldn't have believed them, but I didn't want to risk them being true and knowing if they were, so I avoided you. I know it was stupid, and I'm sorry, and I shouldn't have been so stupidly insecure about it," you finished, the last of your tears rolling down your cheeks.

Leo was in shock from what you told him, he knew Jess was lying, and he hated how it hurt you, "I don't know what she told you, but she lied. I love you, amor. I'm so sorry," he wrapped his arms around you, placing a few kisses on your forehead.

"I'm so stupid for believing what she said. I'm sorry I avoided you," you mumbled into his chest.

Leo lifted up your chin, wiping away your tears, "You're not stupid. Jessica is just a horrible person. Why don't we go back to your cabin, no one's there. You can tell me about the book you're reading," he offered, knowing you loved nothing more than when that was how you spent your day with him.

You let out a small smile, something Leo was happy to see, "That sounds perfect."

While you two were walking to your cabin, none other than the bitch herself, Jess, showed up to talk to the two of you, "Hey, she said, a bit flirtatiously to Leo, while once again giving you a dirty look.

"What do you want?" Leo asked, annoyed by her from what she did to you.

"Nothing, just surprised you two are still together," she said, disgusted by it. You could feel yourself tense up from her words.

Leo was done with her, and her bullshit, "I think we're going to be together for a long time. I don't care for you, so I think you should move on, and leave her alone."

She seemed shocked by what he said to her, "Fine, but when you break up, don't crawl to me," she said, storming away. Once she left Leo brought you to your cabin, and laid down with you on your bed.

"I'm so sorry, princessa," he apologized, wrapping his arms around your waist to hold you close.

"It's not your fault," you said, closing your eyes.

After a moment of silence Leo asked you, "What'd she say to you? Like what did she say, I said about you?"

You were too confused as to why he would ask, but you answered him, "She said you said I was useless, and not pretty," you said, saddened when you remembered her words.

Leo let out a scoff, "I think that's the biggest lie I've ever heard," he said, placing a kiss on your forehead, "You're the most gorgeous person I've ever seen, and I don't think anyone is better at helping me than you, you're not useless," he reassured you, peppering kisses on your face and neck.

You felt content that he didn't agree with the things Jessica said, "She also told me how you apparently never actually liked me," you told him.

"Well I don't," he said, making you sit up in confusion, "I love you, mi amor." You laughed at him, falling back onto his chest.

"I love you too," you muttered into his chest. You were content with staying like this for the rest of your life. No matter what happens in the future you will always have Leo to make you feel better.

Current Taglist (ask to be added)

@almost-gabrielle @scarlett-8 @atashiboba @that1deerpersondownstairs @herondale-lightworm

[uarmymoonlight]

after the afterparty

pairing: nerd!namjoon X ex-mean girl!reader 

genre: frenemies (? sorta) to lovers, rivals to lovers, college!au, one-shot, angsty, smut,

summary: after a night of partying with your (now ex-)classmates, namjoon finds you alone in the kitchen and unspoken feelings and desires come rushing to the surface 

warnings: NOT PROOFREAD, reader’s a bit of an asshole, namjoon kinda idolizes her, lots of untold backstory for the #angst, tit/nipple play, biting (lightly)

words: a little over 4.8k

taglist: @kyglover @luaspersona

crossposted on AO3: here.

image by @/chimigraphic on twitter

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You finally take a deep breath of the cold night air. Eyes closed, beer in hand, hip leaned in against the kitchen counter. Another deep breath. 

This night took a real toll on you: 2 hours of pre-game plus 4 of partying and an unbelievable  2 and a half more of after-partying, all in the name of socialization and redemption. But it’s over now. 

You let the silence embrace and erase you. The outdoor lights paint the room with a faint blue and the only sound is a car passing by and the sink leaking. It’s just you there. The rest have gone to bed –  their own or someone else’s - or back to their own airbnbs. But, as tired as you are, you stay there in the kitchen. This last moment of silence before you leave this place for good. And these long nearly 9 hours of today won’t matter. The people at the party won’t matter. Not even that award-stealing, headache-inducing, infuriating, dimpled assh–

A noise stops your thoughts. You turn to your right to see Namjoon kneeling down to catch the water bottle he’d dropped.

“Namjoon.”

“Hey”, he licks his lips “I...I thought everyone else was gone or sleeping.” 

“So did I.” 

A beat of silence goes by and then another, a longer one. You could almost laugh at the silence that sets between the two of you. Had this happened a while back, you would’ve already told him to fuck off and probably insulted him somehow. Then again, had this been back then, he would’ve been vexing you endlessly by refusing to let the silence just be, doing that nervous back-and-forth on his heels he used to do all the time and talking your ear off. 

This isn’t back then, however. So now, you’re just looking at each other. 

Alright. You said you’d change your attitude, didn’t you? Here’s a test for you to prove you did. Your chance to do something to Namjoon you’ve never done before: be nice. 

“Congratulations.”

He scoffs, incredulous.

“You’re congratulating me?”

You can’t say you’re surprised he asked. There was a time you’d rather have eaten your own two feet before ever complimenting Namjoon to his face, a time you’d have done anything to not stay in the same room as him. Let alone just the two of you together. 

“Well, I did tell you I would, when you deserved it” you remind him “You won the academic decathlon, graduated top of the class, and you got the girl. You deserve it now, so there you go: congratulations.” you raise your glass slightly to him. 

He hesitates. 

“I got a girl.” 

You wait for him to elaborate. He doesn’t. You keep staring at him with those piercing eyes of yours. He hates them. Hates how much he’s always been so aware of them. Hates how much he’s always been so desperate to understand the emotions behind them. But, most of all, he hates how beautiful he finds them, how much they make him feel so on the spotlight, so special. 

He watches you open and close your mouth. Once. Twice. You’re speechless? Now here’s one for the history books, he thinks. You’re probably debating whether you should ask him or not about what he meant by that. And God, he hopes you do. He wants you to ask him, he so desperately does. He needs you to want to know what he means. He needs this opening to tell you exactly why Seulgi isn’t the girl, he needs this one chance to tell you what he’s been holding in for so long, the feelings that are always on the tip of his tongue. 

Namjoon waits for you to ask. But you don’t. You look away. 

You can’t ask him, because that question leads to things you’ve already shut the door of, a long time ago. And he should know better than to try and get it out of you. But he’s Namjoon. Namjoon, always the hopeful idealist, always wearing his heart on his sleeve. And you, always the scoffing pessimist, the egotistical cold bitch. So, you take the coward’s route and when you look back at him all you say is:

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” So there’s no point in talking about any of this, is what you don’t say.

“I know.” 

Again, neither of you talk for a while. In silence, you simply look at each other. The air between you is tense with something neither could name exactly. Namjoon breaks the silence this time. 

“Dance with me?” he extends his left hand to you. 

“There’s no music.”

He shrugs and insists “Dance with me.”

You look at his still stretched hand towards you and it’s almost a perfect flashback of that one night so many nights ago. When he had also reached out for you, in ways more than just physical. When Namjoon had laid out so much of himself for you and all you did was spit it back at him. 

“You owe me this one”, he says. Maybe he’s an ass for insisting on this, but God knows you actually do owe him at least this one. You do, and you know it. “You didn’t even talk to me at my party earlier”, he adds. 

And it’s just another time that you realize he really is a much better person than you are for using the party as leverage, and not…Well, everything else you’ve done. It’s something you’re not sure you would’ve done for him. 

You softly put down your beer on the counter, looking at it while you do so. Anything to not look at him just yet. You need those extra few seconds to…You don’t know what for. To prepare? To breathe? It isn’t to think, surely. Maybe that’s it. You need to not think about what you’re going to do. When the can touches the counter, you spin it a couple times, staring at the label. 

With your peripheral vision, you can see Namjoon’s offering hand still out. Again, you remember another moment, a long time ago, when he offered his hand too. You had refused it. God, you suck at this not thinking thing. Andnd you suck at not being a coward.

You finally peel away from the counter and walk quietly to namjoon. You stare at his hand and, taking your time, you slide yours in it. Feeling every inch of his skin until both of your hands are completely touching, and when that happens, you feel a breath you didn’t realize you were holding come out. You feel a bit pathetic for it. The worst part is you hear Namjoon doing the same thing. 

Namjoon is smart, you know that. You and everyone who saw him beat you at everything academic-related year after year after year. He’s smart. But he’s not truly smart. If he were truly smart, you think, he’d pull away right now. If he were, he’d turn his back away from you for good. 

He doesn’t. He slides his hand from yours to your elbow, caressing your forearm on his way and pulls you in. His fingers on his right hand brush against you, starting with your fingers and going up until he settles it on your waist, pulling you in even more. Not letting go of your elbow, he places your hand on his chest and you complete the action by sliding both your arms around his neck. 

You still haven’t looked in his eyes, focusing on his shirt. Actually, his chest. You’d rather not think about that.

You feel his presence all around you, feel him on your skin even though very few parts of you are really touching the other. You feel his head close to yours, your feet almost touching. The two of you stand locked in place.

“Namjoon?”

“Yes?” His voice is little more than a breath. 

“Move.” 

You hear him scoff lightly and get brave enough to glance at him through your eyelashes. Only a shadow of a smile rests on his lips, so his famous dimples are nowhere in sight. 

As he begins to lead you, that quivering bravery you felt moments ago vanishes. You go back to staring at his shirt while embarrassingly hoping you don’t step on his toes. You'd count your steps, instead of just hoping you're doing it right. That is if you knew how to do that. Shouldn't there be music in order to properly count the steps? Isn't that how it works? You count by following the beat of the song, right? But, then again, there's supposed to be music when you dance regardless of the counting. God, what a stupid idea. Why did you agree to this anyway?

Namjoon pulls you even closer, joining your chests and your thighs together as you draw in a surprised breath and let out a sigh. Now, your nose brushes against his lips. 

Ah, right. That is why.

You really can't do this not-thinking thing. Product of years over worrying about your social status and over analyzing every interaction you had to make sure you came out on top. It’s actually a lot of hard work being the main top bitch in the area.

Briefly, you wonder what people would think if they saw you right now in his arms. You wonder what Namjoon thinks of this whole scene. 

And what an interesting scene it is: the dim lights covering you like a blanket while you quietly embrace, a dance that is little more than just swaying softly to a soundtrack of whispers and wind. You can see your pale reflections on the window. The image akin to that of ghost lovers lost to time, only united by the sound of emptiness when time is frozen. Maybe is because of that image of emptiness and stillness, and because you already decided to leave that you tell him:

"I'm sorry.” It's said so softly, so hopelessly, that Namjoon nearly misses it.

There’s so much he could say to that and yet…He puts a hand on your chin and pulls you away just enough to look at your face. With your eyebrows frowning and your beautiful eyes wide scanning him, you look as scared as Namjoon feels. Namjoon traces your face with his thumb: eyebrow to temple to cheek to your lips. This last caress makes your lips part a little, enough for only a thread of air to pass, and eyes flutter. 

There’s so much he could say, but there's only one thing he wants. 

Your lips touch in a strong kiss. A kiss that is like that first leap of courage into a cold pool. You know the water will be cold at first, but you also know that if you don't jump, you'll never get into the pool. And just like in a pool, neither of you breathe for a while. Just like in a pool, Namjoon is terrified of that first splash of water, scared you'll push him away. 

The kiss ends and you catch your breaths. Not for long, though. You grab the lapel of his jacket to pull him in again and relock your lips. Now, you make sure it's a proper kiss, you take your time learning how to kiss him and how you two fit. After a swirl of your tongue, you feel his hand on your lower back put more pressure and pin you closer. Your legs open slightly and he puts one of his legs a little in between yours, his crotch rubbing against yours as you kiss. As you sink your finger deeper into his jacket, Namjoon firmly grabs the back of your neck and presses his hold. The shivers all over your body and your moan encourage him. 

A surprised gasp leaves you when Namjoon, with one hand grabbing your neck and the other around your waist, moves you until your back is against a wall. The cold surface touching your back provides a small break from the hot and heavy air between you and him. A small part of you - the part that isn’t busy kissing him - is a little shocked at how strong he got. When you first met him, he was all height and bones. You’d heard he’d started going to the gym some semesters ago, but you sorta refused to really acknowledge it and, when your eyes and body acknowledged that independently, your brain made a conscious choice to ignore it. At the moment, you don’t have much brainpower to make any choice besides making out with him. 

Namjoon likes to think he's self aware enough to not be an arrogant prick, but he can't stop the feeling of pride taking over him as you touch him with such clear appreciation of his new physique. He responds to it with his own devotion, intoxicated by your trademark perfume, the same lingering scent that would always tempt him whenever you left a room. 

You feel his toned chest and your hands travel along his strong shoulders. And you feel a bit stupid, a bit clichè, because you put your hands on his upper arms and squeeze his biceps. Kinda like in those stupid movies where the sweet bimbo cheerleader fakes coyness as she fawns over the totally not humble quarterback’s muscles. Okay, so, yeah, maybe it’s a bit eye-rolling worthy, but God! his biceps! If his biceps weren’t enough…his thighs! His thighs are huge and strong and you think you’re not really ashamed of how you gladly let him put one of them between your legs. Also, you don’t care that you two are unabashedly dry humping each other, like two horny inexperienced teenagers. Well, suppose that goes with the cheerleader-quarterback thing. Besides, Namjoon certainly doesn’t seem to mind, guiding and motivating your movements by stroking your ass. 

Jesus, dry humping someone should not feel this good. You keep going, more, more and more, feeling yourself get wetter with each move, feeling Namjoon get harder each time you feel his dick brushing against your lower belly. He lifts your leg and repositions himself at a better angle so it isn’t just the friction that’s doing it for you, but the hard pressure of his dick too making you nearly lose your mind in need of him - and he's barely touched you. How come you're affected by him like this? 

You open your eyes to see him leaving messy kisses along your skin, making his way down your neck past your collarbones. When he reaches your cleavage he makes it a point to maintain eye contact and lazily kisses the space between your breasts. Again, Namjoon isn't particularly conceited, still, he shows a boastful smirk at your eyes rolling back in pleasure. He continues his way down your body, his hands trailing its contours and feeling the soft silk of your dress he wished you weren’t wearing. 

To him, you’re beautiful like a queen: proud, imposing, and powerful. You’ve always been. He thinks it’s your sharp, intelligent eyes, your intent look, but it’s also your straight and confident posture. Looking at you at the moment, though he can still see that spark of intelligence, your eyes are heavy-lidded. Your posture is not insecure, it’s solicitous, fully ready to give in to him. But you’re still you and because you’re still you that there’s still a hint of royal impatience in the way you press yourself against his body, demanding more out of him. 

The vision of him going down past your belly button makes you take a breath and arch your back in anticipation. You'd sooner kill yourself before saying you felt butterflies in your stomach, but you do feel something. It takes all your little sense of self control to not grab his hair and lead him straight to where you want him. You don’t have a chance to actually do this since he’s already dipping even lower, eyeing you with malice and desire and nearly driving you crazy with need. You feel your nipples harden when he strokes your folds through your panties with his thumb before pushing the clothing aside. 

“Namjoon”, you moan. 

He lets out a low growling sound at that and begins exploring your pussy. Fingers and tongue take turns touching and tasting you. His fingers open and stretch you while his mouth sucks on your clit. You think you mumble something along the lines of “yes” and “there” a few times. Your fingers curl in response and your hips move following his rhythm. He licks and sucks and tastes and touches and strokes and you feel yourself closer to cumming with each movement. 

Once more, you catch a glimpse of yourselves in a window. The sight is one of pure depravation. You see how dishelved you look, your lips swollen from the kisses and hair an entangled mess on your head, dress hiked up as one of your legs is proped up on Namjoon’s shoulder, a hand of his squeezing your thigh.You’re a bit impressed at how he’s still at it, when your last few hook-ups seemed to want to eat you out as quickly as possible only to say they did it. You’ve never really seen a man who seems so happy to eat pussy like Namjoon. You watch your reflection for a little bit longer while he continues edging you.

Enough. You need all of him now.

“Namjoon”, you say breathlessly. It was a command, but your mind can only think about his tongue on your pussy. You try again. You forcefully pull his head back “Namjoon.” 

He hisses a bit due to the force of you pulling his hair. 

“Yes, Your Highness?” you squint your eyes in annoyance hearing the mocking nickname he gave you so long ago. You hated the nickname, because you knew it wasn’t a compliment, just a veiled insult of his. However, hearing it while he’s on his knees for you…not bad, you think, not bad at all. Especially when his already deep voice sounds deeper and raspy, the words coming out with a drawl.

“Bedroom. Now.”

He’s up in a second, leading you upstairs. The way up is confusing and chaotic, with the two of you nearly running but barely letting go of each other, hot and lewd kisses exchanged while you walk. You have no idea how Namjoon finds the right door. He stops kissing you only to open the bedroom’s door, which you quickly shut behind you. He tries to put you against it, but you flip him and press him to the door instead. 

For a moment, you only look at him. Spreading your hands on his muscular chest, you listen to your heavy breathing. 

“Y/N.” 

You kiss him again. You put your lips on his neck and take your time there, busying your hands with taking off his jacket and then unbottuning his shirt. When you finish, you stroke his bulge through his pants. Namjoon lets out a hungry hiss that has you rubbing your thighs together. The point of stroking him was to tease Namjoon, you wanted to see if you could get him so worked up as he’d done to you. Unfortunately for you, you find out that that’s a double edged sword and it’s sharper end is pointed towards you, because the more you touch him the more you feel yourself get hotter. Having him in your hand only makes your mouth water. 

There’s only one thing you can think of right now. You pull his member out of his pants, stroking the full length once before you turn him and push him down on the bed. Namjoon watches you crawl onto the bed and fully take off his pants and underwear. It’s not slow and sweet or careful. Every motion of yours is aggressive and fast, eyes gleaming with a hungry determination Namjoon is sure is mirrored in his own eyes. You’re beautiful, so so beautiful. On all fours over him like a fucking lioness ready for her meal. Just looking at you like this makes him even harder. 

Maybe the gentlemanly thing would be to stop and tell  you there’s no need to repay the favor of earlier. But, well, maybe Namjoon isn’t a gentleman, after all. And he’d surely never deny you of anything, not when you so clearly want him. The idea of you wanting him just a fraction of how much he wants you is the best feeling in the world. Or rather, the second best. Because the first is definitely the feeling of your mouth on him. 

You take his full length in your mouth, coating his dick with your saliva. Namjoon watches as you alternate between teasing kitten licks on his cockhead and properly sucking him off, your hands griping the base of his cock. God, you’re not simply beautiful, you’re gorgeous. He fights against the urge to roll back in his eyes in order to watch you going down on him. Your hair is thrown around, some of it tickling his thigh while your head keeps bobbing up and down, your makeup is smeared and your dress is a crumpled mess. And you’re gorgeous.

You make eye contact with him with your lips still wrapped around him and he thinks he’s gonna die. Or cum. Probably both. Maybe it’s his dick talking, but he thinks he’d die happy right now. 

“Tell me what you like”, you tell him. 

“You.”

The immediate blurted out answer shocks you a bit. You scoff. 

“You really can’t keep it in.”

In the split second you don’t move, Namjoon starts to deflate. He ruined everything. He waits for you to get up and leave. 

You don’t. 

You lean forwards and kiss him. The kiss is nothing more than just the press of your lips together. You ignore the still lingering doubt in Namjoon’s eyes. Reaching past him, you go through the drawers on the nightstand. As you look for condoms, your tits are hanging above Namjoon’s head and he peppers kisses on them. After a few seconds, you get the condom out the drawer. 

Namjoon tries taking it out of your hands.

“Give me, I can do it.”

“No”, you stop him. “It’s fine.”

You kiss him lightly on the cheek. Namjoon has to stop for a bit. You’d never been so…soft with him before. Not even in those few months long ago when you had been something akin to friends. 

Not wasting any time, you put the condom on his cock. You quickly take your panties off and guide his lenght to where you want it. You two stare at each other as you sink yourself on his cock. Moaning at how he stretches you out. You love how full he makes you feel. He’s so big, his cock makes you feel so good. Having him in your mouth was one thing, having him inside you was heavenly. You place a hand on Namjoon’s chest. 

“Lay down.”

Because you personally believe feminism is about having a buff hot nerdy guy under you while you get yourself off. 

Head on the pillows, he watches you move your hips, leading him in a slow sensual rhythm. Moaning, your head rolls back in pleasure, mouth open to help you breathe better. The two of you pick up the pace, you bouncing on his cock a little then reverting back to grinding. 

“Y/N, your dress. Please.”

Understanding what he means, you pull your dress above your head and toss it to the side. With both hands holding your hips, he only gives your tits a dazed glare. He keeps watching when you take your own hand and play with your tits. Namjoon growls and thrusts his hips upwards harder when you lick two of your fingers and use them to play with your nipples, caressing and pinching them, your palms massaging the rest of the soft flesh. 

“Like that?” 

The raspiness of your voice, that sparkle of meanness in your eyes, that one raised eyebrow on your face…it’s all almost too much for Namjoon. You are gorgeuous. And he’s so impossibly hard. 

“Yeah.” 

The word almost doesn’t come out. You shake your head and giggle at him. Only you. Only you could be bouncing on a guy’s cock, suck him off, have him eat you out, and, with just a little giggle, make the guy blush. Still, if feels so good to make you laugh. Even if it’s at him. So good. 

Almost beats being inside of you. Almost.

Namjoon flips you and lays you down on the bed. Immediately after you hit the mattress, he’s already on you, mouth licking and sucking on you tit. His pace gets faster, more franctic, more desperate. Hitting deeper and deeper. When he hits a sweet spot, you moan louder. 

“Yeah, there. More. More. Yes. Yeah,” you repeat the words like a mantra. 

“So beautiful”, he tells you. “Almost there, baby.”

God, the pet name. “Can’t take it anymore”, you say.

“Yeah, you can, baby. You can take it all.”

He knows you can. You - open wide for him, hair spread on the pillows like a halo, nipples hardened for him, pussy clenching around him - can take it. You are the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 

On top of you, Namjoon looks like a fucking beast, in the best way possible. Eyebrows furrowed and barring his teeth, his honey skin sprinkled with sweat. A drop of it slips from his forehead and falls on your cheek and you finally cum. Moaning his name over and over. He put his mouth again on your tit, gritting your nipple between his front teeth. With a final moan out of you, Namjoon empties himself inside the condom. 

For a few seconds, you don’t move, just listen to each other breathing. Namjoon feels himself getting softer inside you and, on the back of his mind, he dreads the moment he pulls out from you. Dreads the moment you realise whatever you were doing was over, and so was your business with him. 

Still, he can’t stay inside you forever. He pulls out. 

He busies himself with taking the condom off him and throwing it away while he notices you get tissues from the nightstand to clean yourself up. He mentally kicks himself for not doing it for you, but then again, maybe you don’t want him doing this for you. That’s another kind of intimacy you haven’t given him the greenlight to do. Your voice breaks him out of his thoughts. 

“Where’s the bathroom?” 

You put your dress back on and his heart aches. “First door to the right. Hey, uh - “ he begins before you leave “I’ll go get water. Do you want some?” 

You shake your head and leave the room. 

Silently, he puts his underwear and pants back on and goes to the kitchen, trying all the way down to not think of you. 

He stays a little bit longer than needed in the kitchen. Even after everything, he still can’t feel sure of anything with you. There’s still that ugly feeling of inadequacy whispering in his head that he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Tonight was just a fluke. 

Namjoon goes back to the bedroom expecting you to not be there anymore. He imagines you jumping out of the bathroom window to escape him or sneaking off through the roof. If he wasn’t busy feeling sorry for what you two could’ve been, he’d probably laugh at the scenarios he made up. 

When he opens the bedroom door, though, he finds you there. Curled up under the sheets on one side of the bed. Your eyes are closed and your face is serene. He hesitates. 

“You’re not gonna sleep?” 

You ask without opening your eyes. Namjoon doesn’t answer, but he climbs onto bed behind you. He doesn’t touch you, but he’s close enough that you feel his warmth beside you and his breathing on your neck. 

A while of silence goes by. He’s not sure if you’re already asleep. However, there’s one more thing he needs to say to you, even if you don’t hear it. Something he was too much of a coward to say before.

“Stay.”

You open your eyes. You’re careful to make no move to alert him you’re still up. 

You think about his request. Stay. Part of you wants to, part of you - a very small and recent part of you that is hopeful, a part that is only there because Namjoon coaxed it out of you - says you could stay. Stay. You could stay with him. Stay in his bed. In this city. Stay… 

Like you said, though, that is a very small part of you. The biggest one is a coward. 

When Namjoon wakes up to an empty side of the bed the next day, he instantly knows what happened. 

You left. 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

author’s note: my first attempt at writing smut (at least full on smut, star to finish), hope it doesn’t suck :DDDD  any and all feedback/comments are appreciated

[filmofhybe]

airport buddies.

🥥 pairing : ot7 x oc! 8th member of enha • GENRE : fluff

WARNING: mention of food , crowding , pushing , Profanity

; AUTHORS NOTE : sudden thought of me being the 8th member of enhypen hit my brain while watching Golden Disc Award. And obviously credit to @srjlvr bc her 8th members works inspired me!

MASTERLIST TO MY OTHER WORK

정원 jungwon

as one of the members in the hyung line, jungwon as the leader, still keeps his eyes on you as fans would be crowding you guys despite them keeping a distance. Because you guys was once mopped at the terminal before and you got really injured, he would tell you to grab onto his bag as you walk towards the exit. He would sometimes tell you to link arms with him, and these sweet moments are captured by fans, speaking up about how attentive jungwon is about previous situations and how he cares about his members safety. You feel really safe around him and your glad he’s taking care of you. (You would also guide him through the crowd if it gets to chaotic.)

“y/n hold onto my bag so you don’t get lost.”

“wonnie I’m fine trust me.”

“no I don’t trust the crowd after what happened. You deserve to stay safe around me.”

“If you insist, but one day I would need to stop doing it because you won’t be with me.”

“DONT GO ALL SAD NOW.”

“IM NOT IM JUST SPEAKING THE-“

“you both shut up please I’m too tired for this argument every damn time.” Your manager chuckled as he watched both of you having the “I need to keep you safe!” Argument every time before stepping out of the terminal.

희 승 heeseung

He treats you to food before you guys board the plane. He knows your morning temper is horrible, having to wake up in early in the morning to get to the airport, than having to deal with flashing cameras before checking in already made your day ten times worse. So when you guys are waiting to bored the plane, he will treat you to something sweet, like a chocolate cookie along with a blueberry muffin. Or just anything you want. He cares about your health especially your body is still growing. (Sometimes you would reject his offer, however he would still buy it just in case you start complaining about how hungry you are on the plane)

“y/n~ let’s go get food shall we?”

“I would love to but I’m tired…” you sigh as you cuddle into your hoodie more, keeping yourself warm.

“come on, let’s go get some food before boarding, you can pick whatever you want.” He smiled as he noticed you jump out of your seat after what he said.

Walking towards a small café, you picked out a cookie and a refresher. Heeseung picked something for each member and himself before paying everything. He watches you munch on your cookie, smiling once again to know that all he needs to do to make you happy is food.

박종성 Park Jeongseong

MR DRAGS YOU ALONG TO SHOP. He’s the person to shop at those designer shop before boarding in his spare time. Even though he has good style, he would always drag you along with him. He thinks you giving him opinions about what he should get makes his purchases worth it. Like he had said before “y/n has better taste than I do, people may not admit it but she really does. I’m glad she is always willing to come shopping with me.” Despite you being so tired, you still enjoy walking around with him. You guys usually come out with around 3 bags of stuff. Fans always assume you both have some spending problem at the airport 😭

does this sweater look better than the other?” Jay placed the black sweater in front of him, holding the other color beside him as he switch in between the two.

“I like the navy blue more. It suits you better… it also matches the Prada sunglasses I got you.” You suggested as you grab the navy blue sweater. Placing in front of his torso.

“Nevermind i agree with you. My jawline stands out more.” He smirks, before trying to escape from your slapping.

“We get it park jeongseong you have sharp ass jawline now get your sweater.”

“Jesus Christ I enjoy shopping with you BUT NOT YOU HITTING ME?!?”

심재윤 Sim Jaeyun

The “I can’t stop gossiping” duo. Oh my gosh you both just can’t stop yapping the moment you step out of the van. Is like you guys are high school best friends talking about the latest gossips. You guys would link arms and whisper into each others ears, but laughing extremely loudly after what you heard from the other. Is the media pressed about your interactions? Sometimes (because they can’t take good pictures of the group without you both not talking) however they enjoy watching you both laughing your ass off to whatever your laughing about at 5 in the morning.

“no because I heard that he’s really bad at singing..” Jake whispers as he links his arms with you. Leaning into you as he tries to tell you the latest updates on the entertainment industry.

“No way I thought she was good enough to make it..”

“bitch he was like iM sUpER sHyYYy iM sUpeR sHY.” Jake intimates whoever he was talking about, making you both burst into laughter behind all your members. The members were confused on the sudden laughter. Who on earth laughs this much at 5 in the morning with camera flashes in their face.

“But who are we to judge…? I mean he tried at least.”

“Stop we can’t be rude at least he tried…”

“Keyword tried..”

The ones to say they shouldn’t be judging after gossiping about it😭 just too unserious

성훈 Sunghoon

The matching fit duo. You both somehow always have matching airport fits. Making favs believe you guys did it on purpose (sometimes). But both of you never complain about it. Because of how good both your stylist it, fans always try to take lots of pics of you when you guys are standing next to each other. But sometimes it’s the opposite, you would accidentally wear his shirt while he is uses your bag. And fans loves how you guys share each others items for time to time. (Ps. They love to question you guys.)

“y/nnie!! Where is your bag from?”

“I don’t know, sunghoon got it. It was the first bag I saw so I took it. I’m so sorry!”

“Is okay!! Sunghoon! Are you and y/nnie matching today?”

“We didn’t mean to match again today. It was by coincidence. Do you guys like it?” Fans started agreeing that they love your matching outfits. You both thanked them for noticing and were both flattered by how cute your fans are.

선우 Sunoo

THE SERVING CUNT DUO!! Because both of your age are really close to each other and you both have basically the same brain cell. You both constantly like to tease each other and laugh at each other. You guys do not care if it’s 12 at night that your at the airport, you guys would do the must random shit ever. Eg. A catwalk while linking arms, or writing on your phones pointing towards each other. “SUNOO SPILLED MY COFFEE.” “I DIDNT YOUR FOOT KICKED IT!!” Sigh the members are tired of you both but I guess they find it kinda funny as well.

“WHY ARE YOU TRYNA EXPOSE ME?!?” You asked sunoo as you watched the younger boy laugh at the message - “Y/N FORGOT TO WEAR SOCKS TODAY!!” On his phone. Ready for fans and media to see.

“YOU ARE EXPOSING ME TOO!?” he gasped as he reads yours - “SUNOO CRIED ON THE WAY HERE BECAUSE HE FORGOT HIS DITTO DOLL!!” You shrugged your shoulders as you quickly stepped out of the van before he can reach you.

Fans and the media captures this funny moment as your members silently laughs at how immature you both are. But they don’t complain at all.

にしむら りき Nishimura Riki

The mother and son duo. Being one of the oldest of the group, and you promising to take good care of Niki. You constantly make sure he is alright and his passport is kept safe with him. Fans starts taking notice that you would hold onto his passport after hd lost it once, and he is comfortable enough to hold onto your bag as you make your way through the crowd. Some even noticed that he would buy you medicine before boarding because he knows you get ill easily while traveling. Lots of people treasure your relationship dearly and they always appreciate how you take care of each other very well. (You take Care of other members as well but most of the time Niki because he’s the youngest.)

Fans and media captures a brief moment of Niki handing you his passport. “y/n can you hold onto my passport so I don’t lose it again?” He whispered beside you. Nodding as you take his passport into your hand.

He grabs onto your purse as you walked through the crowd of people. You would look back at him from time to time to make sure he is behind you. Grabbing his hand when it starts getting more chaotic. His grip is now tighter around you, you look back reassuring him that your here and he would be okay. “Niki is okay I’m here your fine. Your passport is safe as well don’t worry.” He can sense you smiling at him, even though your mask covers half of your face.

Fans was touched by both of your little interactions at the airport. Knowing Niki still relays on his older members even though he just turned 18. They know he is still a baby at heart and still need caring. And they thank you for taking care of him like he’s one of your owns.

© filmofhybe on tumblr — do not copy , translate or share.

networks ~ @kflixnet @k-films @/k-labels @k-neighborhood

[buckychristwrites]

About You | Day 6 | j.t.

Summary: Your job? Pop culture journalist for The Independent. Your assignment? To write a profile on the cocky footballer that you're publicly feuding with.

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: Cussing. Enemies to lovers

A/N: Let me know what you think! :)

Masterlist | About You Masterlist | Main Blog

“Fuck off!”

Though you hadn’t looked at the clock, you knew it was early, and it was definitely too early for your phone to be going off. When you opened your eyes, you noted that it was still dark outside. Not a single stream of light was coming from beyond the curtain. The light from your phone was blinding as you reached over, slamming your hand on the nightstand a few times before finally catching it in your grip.

The number wasn’t one saved in your phone. Your brain told you to ignore it and throw your phone down before going back to sleep. But something, you weren’t sure what, told you to pick up.

So you did. 

“What?” 

Just because you decided to answer, that didn’t mean you had to be nice about it.

A familiar laugh floated through the other end of the phone.

“Are you always this cranky in the mornin’?”

You glanced at the clock on your phone before bringing it back to your ear.

“I am when it’s almost 2 and I was just asleep.” You wanted to clobber him, and you felt that he should thank his lucky stars he wasn’t in front of you. “Jamie, it’s not even fucking morning yet.” He laughed again. How did it still sound so nice and magical, even this early in the morning? You cursed at yourself for the thought. Despite that, however, you still felt the anger in your chest lower.

You sat up, bringing your leg up to your chest and resting your chin on your knee. 

“You saved my number,” You remarked. The sleep was heavy in your voice, but you wondered if he could hear your smile in it as well.

“You did give it to me.”

“You threw it on the floor.” 

“It made its way back to me.” You turned your head so now your cheek was pressed into your knee.

“What can I do for you at 2 in the morning, Jamie Tartt?” Your mind went through a long list of the possibilities as your heart picked up in pace. It was unlikely that Jamie had called you this early just for a friendly chat. 

“I have something to show ya,” He said, sounding a little urgent. “But we have to leave now.” You sat up straighter, feeling a little more awake. Was that excitement filling your chest? Of course fucking not, you were absolutely furious about the intrusion on your sleep. Complete anger. Not a single ounce of curiosity or excitement. None at all. Nope. 

“Right now?” He didn’t miss a single beat.

“Right now.” When you didn’t answer right away, he spoke again. “I think it’s gonna help your article and all that.”

You looked around the room blankly, your brain still not having quite caught up with the time. 

“Where are you?” You asked weakly as you began to climb out of bed. Somehow, you already knew the answer.

“Outside your place.” Sure enough, when you peaked out the window of your bedroom, you could just make out a figure below, right in front of the front door. Despite the confusion and the questions you had, you began to search for proper clothing. “Hurry up, yeah? We ain’t got all day.”

“It’s still not fucking day, Jamie. It’s the middle of the night.” 

“You can be mad all you want, but I promise, you’ll like this.” As you pulled on a pair of leggings, at 0154 in the morning, you believed him. 

With the speed you were able to muster up to get ready, you felt like you deserved an award. Feet dragging across the floor, you opened the door of the building to find Jamie beaming at you, his car parked on the road behind him. Before a word was said, he handed you a cup of what you could only assume was tea. It was a welcomed sight, and only made you slightly less angry at him.

“This better be good, Tartt,” You warned before taking a sip. “Not the tea.The tea is spectacular. I mean whatever you have to show me.” He nodded, raising his hands in innocence.

“I promise, it’s good,” He assured you. When you opened up your mouth to speak again, he immediately turned and jogged to the car. 

“Less talkin’, more movin’,” He urged, gesturing towards the inside of the car. “We’re burnin’ moonlight here.” You flopped into the car, pulling the seatbelt across your lap and settling into the seat. Jamie shut the door behind you before running back to the driver’s side. In an instant, the car was taking off down the road. 

“How far away is it?” You asked him.

“It’s a surprise.” 

“This could be considered kidnapping, you know.” He snorted.

“I don’t recall tyin’ ya up and throwin’ ya in my car.” He took a sharp turn, throwing your body in his direction as he held steady, like nothing happened at all. 

“Alright, you won’t be driving like that the whole drive, will you?” It came out more frustrated than you intended, but in your defence, you had only been awake for maybe 10 minutes at this point. Jamie looked at you with apologetic eyes.

“Sorry,” He said, an ease to his voice. “I’ll take it easy. Just for you.”

“Appreciated.” 

You snuggled into your seat. Your body was turned so it was tucked into the left side, and you were more facing Jamie than the front. He had one hand on the wheel, the other tapping to the rhythm of the music on his radio.

“How long of a drive is it?” You asked him. He side eyed you before looking back at the road. You could see the indent in his cheek where he was biting it. The longer he went without answering, the more anxious you felt.

“A few hours,” He finally admitted. Your mouth dropped in surprise, your eyes suddenly feeling quite tired.

“A few hours?” You repeated in an exasperated voice. “Where the fuck are we going, Jamie?” Deep down, you knew asking again was a losing game. He simply shook his head, not saying another word. 

You laid your head back against the seat and listened to the music. It was just the radio playing a song off the top 40 list, but it was something to focus on. Your eyes began to droop. 

“You can take a nap if you want,” He told you in a soft voice. “We have time. I’ll watch for the potholes for ya.” He even turned the music down.

You watched him for a while, studying the way he mouthed along to each song, bobbing his head ever so slightly to the beat. He would occasionally switch how he held the steering wheel, going between the very top to the bottom towards the left. But he never used both hands. Just the left one. His phone was hidden in his pocket, and you could tell that he was the type to never text and drive with a passenger in the car (what he did while alone in the car was another story). He still sported the usual headband, which parted like curtains down the middle to reveal the windows that were his eyes. Though it was not a training day, he was still wearing a black hoodie and shorts as if he were going to train. Part of you wished you had your notebook. It was easier, in your opinion anyway, to describe something if you were able to write it down in front of you. 

It was quite clear that he was holding to his promise, for roads that were so familiar to you by their wretched pave job alone were now the smoothest you’d ever experienced. Before long, you weren’t able to fight it, your eyes blinking closed and holding like that for a while.

It felt like seconds had passed before you came around again, but when you looked outside, despite the continued darkness from the sky, the surroundings had completely changed. The clock read a quarter to 4. You pushed yourself upwards slightly as you yawned heavily. Jamie looked over at you for a brief second.

“Alright, Sleepy?” 

As you settled back into your seat, you exhaled deeply.

“Just surprised we made it this far with how you usually drive.” 

He looked positively offended by this.

“I’ve been good! Drivin’ like a proper angel, in my opinion!” He kept looking back and forth quickly between you and the road. You lifted your hands in the air.

“Alright, alright,” You said calmly. “Even I’ll give credit when due. You’ve done a brilliant job.” He beamed, picking up his cup, which couldn’t possibly be holding anything warm anymore, and took a sip. 

“What makes this place so special that you had to drag me out of bed in the dead of the night to go see it?” You asked him. He pondered your question for a moment.

“Technically, it’s two things we’re seein’,” He admitted. “But that’s all I can tell ya. So talk about somethin’ else, will ya?” You tapped your finger against your chin.

“Tell me something good about you.” His face scrunched up.

“Something good about me?” He repeated in a questioning tone. “Like what?” You shrugged your shoulders.

“Anything.” 

The words hung in the air as he was silent. A few times, he opened his mouth only to immediately close it once more. 

“Football!” He exclaimed, looking pleased.  “I’m good at football. Got ya.” To his dismay, you shook your head.

“Not something obvious, goofball. Something real.” 

“Football is real.”

“You know what I mean.” 

He sat on your question for a few minutes, the silence moving easy between the pair of you. You watched the silhouettes of the trees in the darkness as they raced by while waiting patiently. 

“I’m super close with me mum.” Your head whirled towards him, a shocked look on your face. Between his parents, you’d only heard about his dad at this point. Turning in your seat, you pressed your right arm against the leather so you could face him completely, your legs curled beneath you. He stared out the windshield for a minute, before giving you a quick look. “Shocks a lot of people. I get it.” 

“Tell me about her.” His expression was immediately filled with so much love, it was almost as if his mother was in the car right that moment. 

“She’s… she’s everythin’,” He said, shaking his head. “She’s my number one fan. Always encouraged me when I was younger. Not like dad though.” He shook his head. “If I lost, she was never upset.” He paused, and you could tell by his eyes that the memories were all replaying in his head. “Win or lose, we’d get a treat after every match. And she always told me that she loves me regardless of how I play.” He looked at you earnestly. “Every goal I’ve ever scored and ever will score is for her.” 

Something seemed to swell up in your chest as you looked at him, his words spinning through your brain. You had never considered Jamie having any sort of relationship with his mum, with what you knew of his father, but listening to how he described her made you feel some type of way. 

“She’s still in Manchester, right?” You asked, forcing yourself out of your head. He nodded, fingers tightening on the steering wheel. “Do you miss her?”

“Oh yeah,” He admitted. “I still talk to her every day. But it ain’t the same, now that I live in London.” 

No, you couldn’t imagine it was. 

“But you would still see your dad,” You commented. Eye roll commenced.

“When I played at Man City, he went to every single game,” He said. “Mum came when she could. But Dad was always there.” He sighed. “Now, he’s only at the games that we play against Man City.” He swallowed hard. “I know if she could, she’d be there every time. Rather it be her than him, if I’m honest. It’s hard sometimes.” You nodded.

Now you really wished you had your notepad. It just felt nicer to write things down. Settling on your phone, you opened the notepad app and began to type.

The way Tartt talks about his mum will make you side eye your own boyfriend/husband. It makes one imagine how he would describe a significant other.

You reread the words over and over, debating on taking the second sentence out entirely. Who’s the one imagining? The readers, of course. Not you.

Definitely not you.

“Tell me something good about you,” He countered. This was one thing you weren’t prepared for when it came down to Jamie Tartt. No one else that you had ever interviewed asked you questions or cared about your answers.

But no one else pulled you out of bed in the middle of the night to take you on a road trip to a mysterious destination, either.

“I hope to publish a book someday,” You informed him, slight hesitation in your voice. An impressed look filled his face. 

“Alright,” He said, sounding as he looked. The genuinity of his voice was warming. “What would you write about?” That was the question that always killed the vibe for you.

“I haven’t decided yet,” You admitted, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. “Need inspiration to strike.” He nodded, seeming to understand in his own way.

“It’ll come to ya,” He assured you. “You’re a smart and creative person, ain’t ya?.” A smile sprang on his lips. “When you release it, I better get a signed copy, yeah?” Swallowing the emotion that threatened to spill over, you shook your head.

“I’ll add you to the very long list of people. Let’s hope I have enough to get one for you.”

He shot you a playful glare. “You better!”

In a blink, the car was pulling into a car park. You squinted your eyes in an attempt to study your surroundings. Mostly, it was just trees, but it felt impossible to see them. Jamie hopped out of the car, immediately heading to the trunk. A football was in his hands when you were closing the passenger side door. 

“So… you’re gonna murder me with a football, then?” 

He rolled his eyes, saying nothing as he began to walk in the opposite direction. You walked quickly to catch up with him in an effort to stay close. It was almost 5 in the morning, and you were in a place you did not recognize. Staying close to the professional athlete who seemed to know where he was going was for the best.

The pavement of the car park was replaced with what could only be grass, easily mushed down by the dew that covered each blade. Jamie suddenly stopped. 

“Alright,” He said as he turned to face you. “Just wait here, yeah?” As confused as ever, you nodded. He ran off, practically skipping as he disappeared in the darkness. You crossed your arms tightly across your torso. With every second that he was gone, you grew more and more anxious.

The surrounding lights burst on, making you throw your hands up to protect your poor, delicate eyes. It took another few seconds to adjust, but once you did, you looked around.

“Welcome to me second childhood home,” Jamie announced, his hands outstretched to either side. 

It was a football pitch.

Much smaller than Richmond’s, you could only assume it was for amateur footballers, or childrens’ leagues. It was surrounded by trees and greenery. Jamie stood in the very middle of the pitch, watching you intensely for your reaction. You finally met his eyes again.

“The first ever pitch that I ever played football on,” He elaborated, looking around with great pride in his face. “We only lived a few roads away. I was here every day after class, kickin’ around.” He let out a longing sigh. “Never woulda thought it would bring me where I am now.”

You took a few careful steps forward, as if you were tainting it by your presence. 

“Jamie…” You breathed. “This is lovely.” It was then that you noticed he had a blanket draped over his arm. He unfolded it and quickly laid it out in the grass. You took a few more steps forward as he flopped down on the ground. A smile was glued to his face as he placed his hand on the empty space next to him and patted it gently. You bit back a smile while you sat down. 

“How did you know where the light box was?” You asked him.

“Had to figure it out to play at night,” He admitted, a hint of mischief in his voice. Hands folding in your lap, you stared at him.

“So this is the first thing you wanted to show me,” You said as he laid his head onto his shoulder. You mirrored him. “What’s the second thing?” 

His eyes jumped to look behind you, before he raised a finger and pointed over your shoulder.

“That.”

When you turned, your heart swelled so much, you felt like it was going to burst out of your chest.

Over the tops of the trees, the sunlight began to pour in. Pastel pinks and yellows filled the sky, ombreing into a bright periwinkle. The whole thing looked like a painting that one would see in an art museum. It had been a long time since you had actually seen a sunrise. It was incredibly breathtaking.

“Your favourite time of day,” You said wistfully. 

“You told me I should see it more,” He reminded you, as if you had forgotten. “Figured I’d bring you along.” 

You turned to face him. Why was it surprising to find that he was already looking at you? Why were you embarrassed? And incredibly overwhelmed?

“What’s the ball for?” You asked him, nodding towards the blue, read and yellow sphere that he had placed a few feet away. He let out a laugh, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“To play, obviously.”

Within minutes, he was running around the field, kicking the ball around while you took pictures of him. It was hardly professional, but the stadium lighting made it look good enough for you. He kicked the ball towards you, an inviting look on his face. It took a moment of you staring at it to understand what he wanted from you.

“Oh! No,” You said, shaking your head. “I don’t know how to play!” He blew a raspberry.

“If only there were a professional here to teach ya.”

The next thing you knew, you were standing in front of the net, the ball in front of you. 

“Hit it with the side of your foot,” Jamie said from right behind you. He was so close that you could smell his cologne. A shudder ran through your body. You nodded as if this was something you did everyday. He took a step away from you, leaving a cold air in his wake, before beginning to clap. “Alright, give it a go.”

Inhale. Exhale. You hopped forward and kicked your foot out, missing the ball entirely and landing right on your arse. At first, Jamie looked at you with complete shock and concern. Then, the both of you exploded in laughter. Walking towards you while almost doubled over, Jamie weakly pulled you back to your feet. 

“Alright,” He said when he finally calmed down. “Let’s try again.” 

He showed you once more what to do with your feet and arms, and you even mirrored it back to him in practice. Once he approved, he stepped away once more. Another deep inhale followed by a deep exhale, you tried again. 

This time, you did actually make contact, but the ball rocketed through the air and went well over the net. Jamie, the gentleman, ran after it while you watched in horror, your hands covering your mouth. 

One.

Two.

Three more attempts were given, all of them complete failures. It was starting to make you feel a little embarrassed. Jamie was so patient with you, not making fun of you or trying to make you feel bad when he showed you again and again what to do. 

“Maybe I’m just not a natural born talent like you are,” You told him. He shook his head.

“Just give it one more try,” He urged. “If you miss it, I won’t ever make you even look at another football again.” You narrowed your eyes at him as he seemed to register what he just said. “Right. I won’t make you touch one again.”

“That’s better.”

Closing your eyes, you tried to relax and channel your inner footballer. Who is your inner footballer, anyway? Was it Roy Kent, with his anger? Or Sam Obisayna, with his pureness? Or Dani Rojas, with his passion? 

None of those, you decided. You already knew who to channel.

Without missing another beat, you threw your foot out again and kicked the ball. It soared over the green grass, hitting almost perfectly in the middle of the net. 

“FUCK, I DID IT!” You screamed, throwing your hands in the air and shouting. Jamie did the same, the both of you running circles on the pitch, just like they would in a professional match. The wind was flying through your hair, your eyes squeezed shut. The both of you continued on like this for longer than what could be considered normal. The excitement was real, not an ounce of it for show.

Jamie came at you from the side, picking you up like a sack of potatoes and throwing you over his shoulder while he continued to run around the field. You couldn’t help but laugh as your legs kicked through the air. 

It never occurred to you to be afraid that he would drop you. You somehow just knew you’d be safe in his arms.

He lowered you back to the ground, his smile the widest you had ever seen it, his expression filled with deep pride.

“You did it,” He said quietly.

“Thanks to you.”

Why do I keep looking at his mouth?

Is that him doing the same?

It was then that you realised that his hands were still on your hips. He seemed to have had the same realisation, for he immediately released you as if you had burnt him. 

The sun had been out for a long while at this point. Now the pitch was incredibly bright, with the stadium lights still glaring down. Jamie sighed as he picked up the blanket off the ground. 

“Guess we should head back,” He said.

“Didn’t get much of an interview from it,” You said, taking one last look at the pitch. When you arrived, it had just meant something to one of you. Now, it meant something to both. Jamie stopped walking. 

“Oh fuck,” He said, wiping his eyes. “Do you wanna stay? I just thought you’d be tired from me wakin’ you up and all.” The guilt on his face was so apparent, you almost felt bad for saying anything at all. You quickly shook your head.

“No, it’s all right,” You assured him. “I’ll have plenty of time to chat.” When he gave you a confused look, your eyebrows hit your hairline. “Oh shit. I forgot to tell you.” He looked at you expectantly. You wondered if his heart was beating as fast as yours. 

Why would it be?

“I decided to take another week for the article,” You informed him. “I think I just need a little more time.” 

His tongue was pressed against the inside of his cheek as he smiled. 

“That’s probably not a bad idea,” He said casually after a few seconds. “Just to iron out the details and all that. It’ll be good.” You nodded.

“Unless, of course, you think I’ve got everything I need?” He immediately shook his head.

“No, I think another week would be good,” He said. “There’s plenty of me left to show ya.” There was something in his tone, but you couldn’t place what it was. A breeze flew in, pushing his hair in front of his face. You stuffed your hands in your pockets to stop yourself from putting the strands back where they belonged. He didn’t appear to notice them.

“Good… good.”

The two of you walked to the car in silence. Jamie opened the door for you, and you climbed in with nothing but a shy smile to give to him. He gently shut the door before throwing the football and the blanket in the back seat and making his way to the driver’s side. 

Something had shifted. You could feel it. Did Jamie feel it too? It was unclear. But you definitely did. What was it? You couldn’t say for sure. But something felt different now. It was in the air. It was in your lungs. It was in the way you couldn’t stop looking at him.

“Oh right,” He said after turning the car on. A stupid smile formed on his face as he reached into the back seat and pulled out a black cap with white lettering spelling out TARTT. His grin was absolutely shit eating as he put it on your head. “Got you this to wear to the match tomorrow. And I already told security to not let ya through unless you’re wearin’ it.” You rolled your eyes.

“What happens if I show up without it?” You asked him. He scoffed.

“Kill ya onsight, obviously.” You looked at him with wide eyes and a wider smile, causing him to fight the urge to break his straight face. “My instructions were clear.” You shook your head.

“I guess I’ll wear it then.” 

He pulled the car out of the car park while still sporting the dopey grin. Tucked into the passenger side, you stared out the window. When you looked over at him, and felt your stomach flutter, it occurred to you just what that shift that you had felt was.

Fuck.

[dimepdf]

★  𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒. + 𝐉𝐎𝐄𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑

masterlist. / taglist. / any request? synopsis. when it comes to your sticky fingers, Joel is pretty tired of being the one to clean up all your messes, so he decides that he finally deserves an award.

─── ☆ author note. pedro pascal brainrot go brrrrr ,, there was no song inspo for this one i literally just wrote the smut first and went "shit maybe i should give it some plot?" so here's that . | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍

─── ☆ word count. 2.3k (18 min read) .

─── ☆ genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni | pwp | porn with little plot | kinda rushed just want that smut | mentions of violence | fighting | black coded | protective!joel | oral sex (m) | heavy petting | brat taming? | rough sex | fingering | slight grinding | kitchen sex | praise kink | finger sucking | facials | excuse the typos | not beta'd | there's no title or story inspo .

Here you were being a bother again, at least that's what Tessa referred to you as every time you would shoulder your way into Joel’s flat with new battle wounds littered the bruising purple and green colors against your brown skin. 

Despite looking as if you had your ass handed to you multiple times on a platter you had a thing for walking around and bragging as if your ribs hadn't felt like they were cracked and you weren't struggling to stand on your own two feet. 

Joel had known you long enough to understand that you just had a knack for throwing yourself full force into trouble, getting into fights, stealing supplies, and after you would come to his flat parading around and striding through his front door without a simple knock.

spending most of his afternoons with you as his company trying not to roll his eyes out of his sockets as you would just have the tendency to go on and on about your next troubling schemes.

That said plan was currently in the middle of unfolding before you, the exchange was supposed to be simple and smooth. It was what you had promised Joel at least the night before you couldn't keep your mouth shut and gave him the entire run down. 

You had mainly blamed your job of stocking for the reason you had such sticky fingers, commonly your name would be the one whispered when secret trades were brought up.  

You knew it was risky business, Joel knew it as well betting that you were practically begging to have a bounty on your head anytime soon but it was the effects of the harsh society that you lived in. 

you were a bit more angsty than you'd liked to admit, which was why a lot of your deals would fall flat out with you throwing a few punches out of patience with the situation. 

In your defense, the guard standing in front of you thought he could blackmail you into giving more than what he had first agreed, in simple terms you saw the way that he looked at you as practically undressing you with his eyes. 

The constant uncomfortable wave of compliments after every sentence he spoke had been the nail to the coffin, your fist already clenching making it quite clear that you would rather drop dead than even think about doing anything sexual just to trade off a pack of cigarettes.

Your hands were trained to be quick, reaching for the small knife tucked in the back of your belt loop ready to draw it across the man's throat if you needed to. 

the flinching in your reaction had just seemed to tense the deal, the guard finding your rejection stubborn and as if taking a hit on his ego wasn't enough the point of the barrel of his gun aimed square at your chest was enough to have you stop for just a split second to think before your body could move impulse.

Before he could even think about his finger reaching for the trigger you barreled towards him, smashing your entire body weight against him sending you both crashing to the ground in a struggle for the gun.

He had pressed your chest first into the ground, under the sole of his boot digging into your lower spine. 

All the air kicked from your lungs all you could do was curl up into yourself in hopes that the leather would cause any broken bones from the way he was stomping down on you. 

It was the first time you had been hit with an assault rifle, much to your surprise, and quite honestly, you wanted it to be your last from how harsh the pain had managed to spread from your busted eye, traveling as a pulsing pain throughout your entire face.

You were defeated, there was no doubt about it. The guard’s kicks now just became overkill as he took all his pent-up anger out through his attacks. All you could do was shield yourself until your knight and shining armor arrived. At first, when Joel stumbled upon the exchange, he hadn’t realized that it was you all tucked away, being beaten half to death. 

You could blame him, it was an easy sight to come across in the back alleys of the district with how corrupt their shit system was.

You also had not recognized him until he was just about to walk away, excusing himself not wanting to get caught up in some stranger's mess, that was until you had called out his name from under the guard shoe and everything seemed to click. 

You were convinced you had a concussion or at least some type of head injury that would explain the sudden blink where before you could realize it the guard had been beaten unconscious spread out on the ground (or at least he looked to be) while you were being hoisted up against Joel’s shoulder for leverage as he helped you stumble back to his place to clean up your pride as well as your new wound. 

The first thing Joel had spoken to you after almost a few long minutes of sitting in silence as he held a disapproving expression while dressing all of your wounds. "You and that bad habit of yours is gonna get yourself killed one day." The tone in his gruff voice held so much malice that you winced at the mention of death.

"Oh, please, that guy should be lucky that I hadn’t cut his fucking fingers off. He only got the upper hand because of that damn gun." You bit back with less sass, sliding off of the counter you were propped on.

Joel only rolls his eyes, standing with his arms crossed, you could tell he was frustrated by the way his eyebrow ticked up as he gazed down at you, not budging from his spot standing right in front of you as he caged you against the counter. "You're doing a lot of shittalk for someone that got their ass handed to them."

"Well, maybe I'm into that sort of thing, big guy?" You pressed your hand against the middle of his torso, pushing him back enough for you to wiggle away, feeling his eyes trailing after every step all the way to the open door of his fridge. 

Squatting down to your knees and glaring at the half empty bottom shelf, a small exhale parted his lips as the annoyance settled in from your unserious attitude. 

Joel knew that he couldn't convince you much with that steel stubborn skull of yours. "You have some business scolding me with all the shit that you get into—"

He had enough decorum to allow you to shut the fridge door before pressing your chest firmly against the front of the fridge and pressing his chest into your back, cramming you against the front of the fridge with the wish of his breath against the nape of your neck.

"And you talk a lot," he threatens in a low hum, goosebumps forming under the grace of his fingers as they sneak under the hem of your shirt, hands finding his favorite place to fondle you. 

As he cups your breast in his palms, raking his cold fingertips over them, enticing your nipples to bud under their rough touch.

“Wait, Tess could come back—” 

"Well, aren’t you into that sort of thing?" Joel grunts in reply, whimpering under his touch. 

Joel's rough calloused hands slide down your pudgy torso, dragging his fingertips lower to undo the buckle of your belt, unzipping your jeans all in two yanks to slide his hand under the elastic of your underwear. 

Your breath hitched at the drag of his fingers groping you, paired with the other fondling your breast over your bra. "Maybe I should give you something to finally shut you the fuck up."

You had almost purred under his touch, melting against his caressing hands as Joel made his erection a statement by pressing himself against the back of your thigh. The outline of his situation makes your thighs press together as you press back, saying farewell to the rest of the dignity you had left. "And what do you mean by that?"

"Don’t make me spell it out for you, hon." Feeling the brush of his breath against your skin, his voice gentle as his hands roamed your body as if he owned it, against the tip of your ears, shivering at the wet kisses that found themselves placed against the exposed peak of your neck.

"This doesn't seem like much of a punishment to me." You sucked in a breath at his fingers finding themselves between your legs, toying with you as all they did was rub mindlessly against your front teasingly, just inches away from where you needed them to be the most.

"I’d like to think I’m a fair man," Joel hums as he dips his hand deeper into your pants, fingers pushing into your pussy, biting your lip as you flinch at the feeling that the rough drag of his dry fingers adjusted on the tips of your toes before he could comfortably settle with a wet layer of your arousal wrapping around his digits. "I get a reward for saving your stubborn ass, and you get a punishment for wasting my fucking time."

Pressing your cheek flat against the cool metal of the fridge while arching farther into his hold, the slick sound of them positioning in and out was starting to make your blood run hot as Joel’s fingers started to move at an earnest pace. "Ngh—fine by me, honestly; maybe I should act out more often."

Joel scoffs, feeling the briskness of his smirk pressed against your hot skin; his mouth drags over the shell of your ear, practically counting the hum of his heartbeat as his chest presses against your back. "Oh yeah?" Just as quickly as the pleasure started, it stopped, Joel’s hands yanking away, leaving you feeling discombobulated as you whined out, leaning farther back and chasing after his touch.

"Ah, since you're having so much fun and I’ve been so patient," Joel pulled away with a small noise of rejection, instead using his hand to spin you facing forward, pressing your back against the fridge as the other made quick work undoing the front of his pants, the noise from his zipper making you swallow. "You're gonna get on your fucking knees for me, and give me my reward now."

Your eyes met the dark, lustful look in Joel’s eyes as he shuffled backward until he bumped into the table, making do with his pants enough to pull his dick from his briefs all while holding sly eye contact.

Joel knows that you find him breathtaking; he plays into the feeling you would get between your thighs, never wanting to keep your hands to yourself when he was around.

He also knew every little thing that would make you tick, all the ways to drive you up the wall, and just how to get you aching between your thighs. You didn't have to be told twice, shame being the last thing on your mind as you huffed, shuffled your steps forward, and fell down to your knees in front of the older man.

Hissing at the small crescent dig of his nails cupping your face forward, he tried not to fidget as if his other hand wasn't losing wrap around the base of his dick, touching himself at the sight of you down there. "Open."

Obeying this command, your mouth is coaxed open by the flat front of his thumb dragged along your bottom lip. Your tongue follows quickly after, along with your teeth, as you lean forward enough to give a playful chomp at the finger before soothing the attack with the wet swirl of your tongue. It only entices Joel further, pulling the same hand away and instead replacing it with another thing you could suck on.

Farther down from the tip all the way to the base, you pull your lips over your teeth with the struggle of your throat reminding you of your gag reflex, your brow creasing, and hands planting on top of his thighs to ground you and steady breathing through your nose.

A satisfied exhale rolls from Joel's throat, his hands buried in a tight grasp at your curls, watching himself disappear between your full, smooth lips. "You're fucking perfect." Joel hushedly praises, "If only you could see how fucking gorgeous you look from here, sweet girl."

You melt at the sincerity and gentleness of his tone, the vibration nearly makes Joel topple over as his knees threaten to buckle. You could feel the tense flex of his muscles under your palm as you grasped at his jeans. Joel's thrusts are considered tamed, more gentle, and slow you even thought him out to be timid around your relaxed throat. 

Gagging only when he got a bit more handsy, your fingernails digging into his pant leg as he strains himself from giving in too much, even if the thought of fucking your throat was becoming more enticing. 

Joel's hips still bent, his hand knotting in your hair, tugging you away with a more rough force as he pants at the overwhelming clarity that struck from his orgasm. 

Your eyes glued to the other hand that worked itself around the hilt of his dagger, giving himself a few quick strokes that unfolded so quickly that you barely had time to process that he was coming onto your face until his fingers clenched around the hair of your scalp, tilting your head up towards the ceiling just to get a better look as if he had created a masterpiece of artwork all over your face.

🔖 @adison-smart27 / @m0mmym1lk3r-png / @do-double-g

comment or tap here to be added to taglist.

[trollprincess]

Okay, so. “The Apprentice.”

Before we go in, if you’re going to watch this film, keep in mind trigger warnings for marital rape and racial, religious, and homophobic slurs.

Now, I would cut for spoilers, but I feel like at this point we should all know enough about Trump’s past that none of this is a spoiler. It’s a bit like saying “The boat sinks” about “Titanic.” Well, yes, it does, but the devil’s in the details.

Anyway. The movie focuses on a younger Trump’s mentorship under attorney, known scumbag, and gay-but-let’s-pretend-he’s-not Roy Cohn. (Let’s put it this way. If he’d died now instead of ‘86, the “I didn’t know the leopards would eat my face” song would be playing over celebratory TikToks.) Cohn proceeds to mold him into the douchebag we all know and loathe, and ends up getting bitten in the process. (Just as a note, this prompted me to get a Cohn biography so I could beef up on just how awful he was in even more detail than I already know.)

The film itself is very well-made. There are choices in terms of camera usage (making it look more 70s and 80s), storytelling, foreshadowing current events, etc., that are very well done. At the beginning, you almost have a smidge of sympathy for Trump, although it’s a HUGE almost. (It’s clear he was raised by a dick and wants to be like said dick, when maybe he would have been better off if his father croaked when he was little and his mother had all the control over his raising and that of his siblings.) Like, there is a *hint* that he might be redeemable if the right person got their hands on him. Instead, it’s Roy Cohn, and we have the six-foot pile of chinchilla diarrhea we have now.

So here’s the thing. I think anybody who heard Jeremy Strong was cast as Cohn thought, “Now that’s perfect casting.” And it is! He looks like him, he sounds like him, he plays him as manipulative sewer sludge. I will be incredibly surprised if he doesn’t get an Oscar nomination for best supporting actor. Every time he’s on screen, you’re drawn to him. He’s a monster, but a monster you want to keep your eyes on, either to see what he pulls next or to see if he finally gets what he fucking deserves.

But you know what was a delightful surprise? Sebastian Stan as Donald Trump. No, I’m not kidding. I mean, no, Trump is not delightful, but I know a lot of people were like, “Aw, SebStan as Trump? Come on.” The thing is, he’s *good*. Obviously, Trump in 2024 is an absolute cartoon of a human being, but all those tics and vocabulary choices and style choices came over time. The Trump at the beginning of the movie is a sliver of what he is now. You can see him if you squint, but you’re still working on SebStan in a bad wig. By the end of the movie, though? He IS Trump in the late 80s. He moves like him, speaks like him, brags like him. It’s as if the current Trump is him turned up to eleven, and SebStan at the end of the movie is him at about five tilting toward six. The last scene is him speaking to the ghost writer of “Art of the Deal,” and you can see Marla Maples-era Trump *right there.* It’s not a comic impression, it is a very real and respectable performance.

I feel like I should also mention that Maria Bakalova portrays an empathetic Ivana, especially given the mentioned rape scene and the moment when she shows Cohn something approaching real sympathy. I think she may be overshadowed in terms of awards by Strong and Stan, but she does a commendable turn as the first of the three wives Trump bulldozes through as his desires change with the wind.

It’s entirely unsurprising that the Trump campaign wouldn’t want this movie released. I mean, for starters, the marital rape scene is horrific and upsetting. But I think they should also be worried about just how much Trump seems to lift wholesale from other people without attribution - Cohn’s rules for life, Reagan’s campaign slogan - not to mention Cohn repeatedly getting him out of shit that should make any average American enraged. Why in God’s name would you support someone who got out of federal discrimination charges and $160 million in taxes for building a hotel using Cohn’s expertise with blackmail?

Of course, that requires the entire movie to be true, and … well, even the most historically accurate movies have their flaws. The problem here is that the people who worship him aren’t going to believe anything bad about him, and the people who wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire are bound to feel that even if something isn’t true, it *sounds* like something he’d do. So fact-checking “The Apprentice” is like fact-checking Cocomelon. Your toddler doesn’t care as long as you give them the damn iPad. But at least with Cocomelon, if you just give them the iPad and walk away with your hands up in defeat, your toddler is probably not going to threaten to set the house on fire because Cocomelon told them to.

So yes, anyway, an excellent movie. I hope someone else is president when it gets nominated for Academy Awards because Jesus fucking Christ.

[chrollosbm]

Sunflowers Fields: a Choso Love Story

You're broken from a past relationship, thinking you only deserve the worst. Choso comes along, making you realize you deserve the world and more. Will your ex-boyfriend let you go without a fight? (Choso x black!reader, yandere Choso)

warnings: swearing, alcohol use, manipulation, (eventual) heavy smut, overstimulation, begging, dacryphilia, dom choso, bossy choso, sub reader, slight yandere choso, suguru is her ex

pls support me on ao3, it would mean the world to me!

yummy.

You were a wreck. Your hair was tangled, your nails were chipped, you hadn’t showered in days, and you were currently rotting in your bed for the fifth day in a row. The only time you had gotten out of bed was to pee, drink water when you felt dizzy because of all the crying you had been doing which was not helping your dehydration, and when you forced yourself to eat small bits of crackers every now and then. Your outside appearance was nothing in comparison to the sadness and despair you felt inside though. You had gotten this bad on the outside because of the aching pain you felt in your heart. 

Last week, you and your ex-boyfriend broke up again. The relationship was not healthy at all, yet the two of you felt drawn to each other like magnets. You told yourself you were done this time though maybe. You could say your relationship with each other was pretty toxic at least that’s what all your friends and family said. You were still so in love with him though, so it didn’t matter what everyone else had to say. Yes, you were quite aware of your delusion, but it didn’t matter to you. How could you throw two years of your life with someone away? 

He cheated again. You should have known the first time that this would happen again. If you take someone back for cheating once, they’ll do it again. 

You sighed and mentally slapped yourself as you cuddled more into your bedsheets and squeezed the emotional support stuffed animal that was now covered in tears and snot.

The previous time he cheated on you, you had revenge sex with his best friend, which promptly ended a four year friendship between them. 

You found yourself smirking through your tears at the memory.

All it took was you showing up at said friend’s apartment with mascara stained cheeks (and an outfit that showed way too much skin.) You learned that the whole “bros before hoes” code was a myth that night. You simply walked into his blue-eyed-bestie’s apartment and put on an award winning performance of heartbreak (which you were actually feeling, but you had to bump it up a notch,) and feed him lies about how your ex-boyfriend had been talking shit about him for months. The rest was history. 

Of course, you put your acting skills to use again to get your ex to forgive you. After all, he cheated on you first. An eye for an eye right? Maybe you took it too far, but who cares, you actively tried to become a better person for him after that and it felt like he had done nothing to change. 

Your phone pinging brought you out of your thoughts and you rolled over to check your phone, shamelessly hoping it was a text from your serial cheating ex-boyfriend. It wasn’t, but it was the next best thing. Your paycheck was deposited into your account. It was a little lighter than usual, considering you took off for the entire week to mourn the loss of your already dead relationship. Still, it was a lot, and since your bills were already paid at the beginning of the month, you had disposable income to spend now. 

You checked the time on your phone, saw it was late afternoon and sighed. Maybe you should get up, considering you hadn’t seen sunlight in days and you deserved to make yourself feel better by going on an impromptu shopping trip. 

You scrolled down to the text messages from your closest friend that you had been ignoring for hours on end. You tried to update her at least twice a day on your mental state (which was not great, in all honesty,) just so she wouldn’t worry that you weren’t breathing (or that you went back to him, like you had previously done before.) She always hated him and always made sure to vocalize that opinion. It could be annoying sometimes, but you knew your best friend only did that because she loved you and knew you deserved better. There were a string of texts that you didn’t feel like reading, so you decided to just pick up the phone and facetime her. 

She picked up on the first ring with a call of your name coated with concern.

“Oh goodness, you look awful!” your friend exclaimed with a worried expression on her face.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help but let out a small laugh.

“Thanks a lot, Andrea. That’s exactly what I need to hear right now.” You got up out of bed to see exactly why she had such a dramatic reaction and when you reached the mirror your eyebrows shot up. “Oh wow, you’re right.”

She let out a small whimper. “My poor baby. We have to get you out of the house today. It is Friday after all, and I’m not taking no for an answer. You can’t let that asshole dictate how you feel forever.”

You let out a small sigh as you looked closer in the mirror. It was very evident that you hadn’t washed your face in days. Your dark eye bags in contrast to your brown skin made it look like you hadn’t slept in weeks, although that’s all you had been doing for the past week. Your eyes were bloodshot red and you could no longer force out tears due to dehydration and exhaustion. Your hair was an unruly mess, your tight coils tangled and in knots that will take hours to get out. 

You sucked your teeth and mentally chastised yourself for not putting a bonnet on your head during the past week.

It didn’t take long for you to respond to Andrea, considering you were tired of sitting in your own filth. 

“Okay! Did you want to join me while I went shopping? “You looked down at your chipped and overgrown nails. You were due for a refill. “We could also stop at the nail salon…” 

She squealed in delight. “I didn’t think you’d actually say yes! Of course. I’ll be there to pick you up in a couple hours. It’ll give you time to do that hair.” She teased. 

You rolled your eyes again. “See you soon, Andrea.” You quickly ended your call then jumped in the shower so you could have time to do a simplified version of your hair routine. No time for a full wash day session, so a quick detangle and moisturize will have to do. It was warm outside this time of year anyways, so half drying your hair was okay. 

You quickly washed your body and finished your hair routine in the shower, quickly attempting to diffuse it afterwards. You definitely felt wetness in the middle of your head, but it will have to do. You left it down in tight ringlets so it could dry by the end of the day when you were undoubtedly going to be forced to go out with Andrea tonight. Not that you minded, anyways. The first thing you wanted to do right now was get wasted to get rid of the heartache you felt. 

You quickly threw on a casual and comfortable outfit consisting of black yoga pants and a black graphic tee. As soon as you finished getting ready, you heard a loud and over-exaggerated car horn that you knew was the doing of your best friend. 

You quickly rushed down your stairs and threw on a pair of comfortable platform sandals and grabbed your purse before heading out the door. 

The sun hurt your eyes and you quickly shielded your face from its rays with a frown. The air smelled crisp and it felt good to breathe in natural air.

Your friend was in her very expensive black vehicle with tinted windows that you didn’t know the name of, (because cars right?) with said tinted windows down, showing a huge smile that belonged to Andrea. Her hair was different this time, small knotless braids cascading down her back, rather than her usual curls identical to yours. Thank God for that. Every time you wore your hair the same, people always mistook the two of you for sisters even though you looked nothing alike. You were both just black in a city with nearly not enough black people. 

Your personalities were also nothing alike. While she was like sunshine and rainbows after a stormy day, you were that stormy day. She was always kind, level-headed, calm, honest, and well put together, while you on the other hand were hotheaded, loud, impulsive, brutal, and sometimes extremely vindictive. You were trying to change the last trait as much as you could, but you were a work in progress. 

You hopped into her car, giving her a tight smile and she immediately pulled you into a hug.

“I’m so happy you decided to come out today! I have such a fun night planned for you.” She winked after she pulled away from the hug, mischief twinkling in her big brown orbs. 

Suspicion clouded your mind, wondering what she was up to, but decided to let it go considering you didn’t have a care in the world about what you guys did today, as long as you were able to get blasted. “Is drinking involved?” you said plainly and she smiled again in a way that could light up the entire galaxy.

“Duh.” she said simply and you finally gave a real smile as she pulled out your driveway, onto your day of adventures.

After a lengthy but fun day of shopping, getting your nails done, and eating your first full meal in days, you and Andrea approached her luxury apartment.

Another difference between you and Andrea? She was in a healthy and loving marriage. She and her husband were still newlyweds, but they had been living together since their engagement (which was very soon after they started dating.) You smiled thinking about your best friend’s luck in life and love, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t a little jealous. She deserved all of this and more of course, but you couldn’t help but envy her situation. You were trapped in a toxic cycle while a good man found her, a rich and handsome one at that. 

“You ready, babe?” she snapped you out of your thoughts and grabbed a handful of shopping bags. You guys went way overboard. 

You nodded and followed suit, grabbing the remainder of bags and headed up the elevator to their apartment. 

As you two stepped into the large and luxurious apartment, Andrea called out to her husband and all but ran to the kitchen when he responded with joy. 

You followed behind her awkwardly and pretended to be doing something on your phone when you saw the two of them sucking face.

When they finally came up to breathe, he looked up at you and gave you a sad smile. “Hey, how are you feeling?” You knew Andrea had already told him, considering he actually knew your ex-boyfriend. They went to high school together, but weren’t close at all.

You gave a matching smile back and felt your eyes well up with tears as you answered. “In all honesty, horrible. If it weren’t for your wife I would probably still be in bed sulking and crying over that asshole friend of yours.” 

He winced a little at your harsh words, but quickly recovered and had a face full of anger. “You want me to hire a hitman on him? I have that kind of money, you know.” 

You laughed loudly but his facial expression never changed. “Woah chill, Kento! He isn’t worth it. I hope he and that bitch he’s with get what they deserve but I don’t know if it’s death.” A smile remained on your face at his protectiveness. He was always protective over you considering you were his wife’s best friend. He even got into a few heated arguments on double dates with your ex over you.

“Well if you change your mind, I have a guy on speed dial. That asshole Suguru needs to learn a lesson.” He responded and Andrea caressed his arm in an attempt to calm down which seemed to work almost immediately. His face softened and he looked at your best friend in such a loving way that made you want to smile and puke at the same time.

“Thanks, dude. I’ll keep that in mind. Now let’s go Andrea, we have plans tonight, remember?” You gave him a grateful smile and grabbed your friend’s hand before you were caught witnessing another makeout session between the two. 

As you dragged her into her vanity room, you heard him shout after the two of you. “How much of my money did you spend today?!” The both of you erupted into a fit of giggles as you shut the door behind you. 

You both finished getting ready just before the clock hit ten pm. PartyNextDoor was blasting in her speakers as you two got ready, along with Andrea making insulting jokes about your ex the entire time. You, of course, were almost in tears at her jokes. You were so grateful to have her all the time, but especially during times like this. 

You were currently standing in front of her ceiling to floor, LED-light filled mirror looking at yourself in awe. You forgot how pretty you actually were. Due to the fact that you hadn’t seen yourself in makeup in weeks (you were naturally beautiful bare-faced as well,) but also the fact that you somehow felt ugly when you were dating Suguru. You knew you were pretty, but his excessive cheating made you feel less than. You always found yourself comparing yourself to the women he cheated with, who looked nothing like you.

Your face was lightly beat along with dark eyeliner that also included dark, but lightweight lashes that made your dark eyes look even more beautiful. Your lips were outlined with a dark lipliner with an expensive clear lip gloss that Andrea (well, Kento) had bought for you earlier in the day. You had on a tight maroon red dress that stopped at your mid thigh, the color making your brown skin look radiant and your body look amazing. You paired your outfit with gold jewelry you borrowed from Andrea since all your jewelry was left at home. Finally, you were going to finish off your outfit with black opened-toed kitten heels that you were going to put on at the door before you left. 

Your hair was put into a puff with minimal curls left out to frame your face. You were smiling at yourself in the mirror when you heard a knock at the door. 

Andrea went to open the door and her husband was standing at the door, mouth agape as he took in how she looked. You couldn’t blame him, she looked fucking hot. Her knotless braids were left down and she had on a black two-piece mini skirt set with silver jewelry that was to be paired with black stiletto heels. He leaned down to whisper something in her ear and her eyes widened slightly and she cleared her throat immediately after.

“You ladies ready to go?” He said with a smug look on his face and you gave Andrea a questioning look.

“I thought this was a girls night?” You said with a raised eyebrow.

She smirked, that mischievous look in her eye again. “I never said that.” She grabbed her black shoulder bag, along with an identical one she picked out for you, ushering you to come. “I said I had a fun night planned for you didn’t I? Just trust me.”

You looked between the Nanamis with suspicion written all over your face then shrugged. “As long as that includes free drinks, I don’t care what’s planned.”

“That’s my girl!” Andrea cheered as she gave you a slap on the ass when you walked out the front door.

You could’ve sworn you heard Nanami grumble something in the lines of, “Just don’t bankrupt me.”

You were currently in between tipsy and drunk, but not quite drunk yet like you wanted. You were dancing in your very own section with Andrea and Kento, about to take your next tequila shot. Andrea was already very drunk, you could tell by the way she was dancing on Nanami, who stopped drinking a while ago. He was driving after all, and he apparently never liked being drunk when he went out with Andrea because he wanted to make sure she was safe at all times. As you finished taking your shot with a shiver, you heard your best friend call your name.

You looked over at her with curiosity as a man you didn’t know was let into your section. You looked at him with confusion and interest. He was certainly a sight.

“This is Ch-Choso!” She yelled way too loud into your ear, slurring her words.

You took a second look at the man and were not disappointed. He was very tall, much taller than you. You looked up at him and he had two buns with shorter pieces sticking out the front to give him slight bangs, dark eyes that had eye bags underneath them, and full pink lips that were currently wearing a small smirk. He had on a dark shirt with equally as dark pants and sneakers. He had tattooed covered arms, and one of them sported a very expensive watch. He also had bright diamond earrings in his ear. They shone so bright you felt they might blind you.

“Hello, gorgeous.” He grabbed your hand and gave it a small kiss and you had to stop yourself from smiling. As your hand reached his lips, you noticed a dark birthmark across his nose, making him impossibly more handsome. It was something you had never seen before, giving him even more intrigue than before.

You cleared your throat and introduced yourself quickly, a look of suspicion and annoyance on your face you weren't trying to hide at all. In reality, the pool in your stomach was becoming hotter by the second.

“Will you excuse me for a second?” You gave him an obviously sarcastic, tight-lipped smile and let go of his hand to immediately grab Andrea’s. You dragged your stumbling friend and took her into the thankfully vacant bathroom.

As soon as the door shut you turned to her, where she was sporting a slight smirk. You didn’t return it though.

“What the hell is this?” You folded your arms over your chest and waited for her to answer.

She feigned innocence. “I don’t know what you mean!” She was full blown smiling now, like something was funny.

“Who the hell is that guy? Why is he in our section? Was this supposed to be your fun night for me?” You said it all way too fast and way too angry, but you didn’t care. Was she really trying to set you up with another guy when you were still heartbroken (and still longing for your ex-boyfriend)?

She put her hands up in defense. “Chill out!” She sounded way more sober now, your words seeming to light a match under her. “I was just trying to make you feel better. You were with that selfish, cheating asshole for two years and now you’re finally free! This is a time to celebrate, babe. I get that you’re sad, but how much longer are you going to let him dictate how you feel? How long are you going to let him dictate what you do, or who?” She gave you a wink and grabbed your hands.

She was right and you knew it. You had been taking Suguru's bullshit for years now. Every him he stepped out on you or whenever you caught him texting other women, it sent you into a spiral. He was draining the life out of you everyday, but it was like he was your own brand of heroin. No matter how much he hurt you, and how bad he was for you, it was like you were addicted to him, waiting for your next fix. You wanted to slap yourself for not being strong enough to just quit.

"...And Choso is a sweet guy. He’s smart, and works with Kento, so you know he’s loaded. He’s also fine as hell.” You felt your cheeks get warm at that. You have to admit. The man was sexy as fuck.

“It doesn’t have to go anywhere! I just want you to see there are other options out there other than Sir-Cheats-A-Lot.” She continued. Her eyes were pleading you, at this point.

You let out a small sigh. You knew she was right. It really didn’t have to go anywhere. You could just dance with him fuck him tonight. It would be a good distraction and you really wanted to get over Suguru once and for all you also really really wanted to fuck Choso. Like badly.

You gave her an eye roll then faked annoyance. "Fine. I'll entertain it. Just for the night." You were excited at the chance to finally talk to someone new, to be honest. She didn't need to know that, though. She squealed in response and she pulled you into a tight hug, too tight for your liking. You smiled widely in the hug and laughed as you hugged her back. As the two of you pulled away, you smelled the alcohol on her breath and remembered you were there to get blasted tonight, anyway.

When you returned to the table you were met with a concerned Nanami who was ranting to a very sexy looking Choso. The man you just met tonight looked bored as his coworker was very obviously worried about his wife. When the two of you approached the table, it seemed like his entire mood switched. His eyes became brighter and his lips formed a small smile. Kento's eyes snapped to Andrea with relief and you let the two have their reunion (his genuine concern for her leaving for five minutes made you both happy and nauseated) as you settled down next to Choso, making sure to sit extra close to him. If you wanted to fuck him tonight, you had to lay it on thick.

His cheeks reddened slightly as the bare skin of your thighs touched his clothed thighs. He seemed to quickly compose himself. “I thought I scared you off.” He nudged you with his shoulder with a smile.

You shook your head at him and smiled softly, returning the nudge. “No way. I just had to make sure my friend wasn’t going to black out.” You gave him a quick lie.

He seemed to believe it just as a server brought over four more tequila shots. Andrea let out an excited squeal for the tenth time tonight and attempted to grab a glass, which Nanami quickly blocked. She gave him a puppy dog look, which he seemed to ignore and grabbed her hand. “Let’s go dance, sweetheart.” He said, attempting to distract her and it worked. He dragged her onto the packed dancefloor and you were left alone with Choso and four shots.

“It looks like we have to down these ourselves, gorgeous.” His hand caressed your bare thigh lightly as he reached over to grab two shots. It was hard to ignore the increasing wetness in your underwear, very afraid it would start pooling out at some point. You couldn’t help it, the man was insanely gorgeous. He gave you the shot with a small smile and the two of you proceeded to clink glasses together and down them, finishing with a slam of the glass on the table.

The night progressed with the two of you taking more shots and you noticed how both of you slowly began to get more comfortable with each other. You somehow found yourself sitting on his lap with his hands around your waist, that were inching very close to your ass. You were currently laughing at something he said (God knows what, you were just drunk off your ass) and giving a playful slap to his very hard chest. It was like slapping bricks.

The music was loud, the lights were flashing, you didn’t know where your two friends went, yet you didn’t seem to be able to focus on anything but the beautiful man in front of you. He had to be as drunk as you considering the amount of shots you both had, but he seemed to be completely composed. His dark orbs stared holes into you as you were telling him stories about you and Andrea in college.

You were supposed to be on a mission to get some dick, but you found yourself actually wanting to have a conversation with him. He was a great listener and you somehow just couldn't stop talking. The way he was looking at you with genuine interest and attention made it hard to keep quiet.

You quickly learned he was a man of very few words, even with alcohol in his system. He would give a light smile and chuckle every now and then, but he mainly remained quiet besides the occasional questions he would ask, which prompted more stories from you.  He didn’t make you feel annoying, either . Unlike Suguru, who would at times tell you to “just shut up already,” when you were expressing things you had interest in.

You slowly stopped talking and looked down as soon as you thought about your ex-boyfriend, your mood dampening. Choso seemed to notice and put a hand on your chin and softly lifted it to look into his eyes again.

“What’s wrong? You were just getting to the good part.” He asked with genuine concern. His eyes burned holes into yours again and it all became too much. You were suddenly aware of everything around you. The music was too loud, the lights were blinking far too much, your clothes felt too tight on you, and you felt sick.

You quickly got up, grabbed your bag, and with a quick “I’m sorry, I have to go.” You left the section the club with Choso shouting your name behind you. You had ino idea where you were, your vision was blurry and you just wanted to go home. People in line outside the club were looking at you in confusion as you stumbled, almost falling on your ass, but you quickly left, having no idea where you were going.

Chapter Two is up