#you sound like you're a little obsessed with us please get a hobby

[avian-misdemeanors]

it's really fucking disorienting being Jewish right now. Like I've always figured that if I'm saying something and the majority is saying the opposite, I should at least be open to their position and give it due consideration before reaching my conclusions about an issue.

Which makes it really confusing watching such a huge percentage of the world literally just want us dead because they believe fucking nonsense conspiracy theories about us.

So no, I'm not wrong this time. The entire world is just Not Normal about Jews.

[fismoll7secinv]

15 questions, 15 people:

I was tagged by dear @a-very-fond-farewell 💚I hope you get your lobster sanctuary! 💚

-

1. are you named after anyone?

nope

2. when was the last time you cried?

I don't know, I don't really cry

3. do you have kids?

never

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeah, quite casually in everyday life, but I try to tone it down

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

I'm bad with faces, I might not recognise someone who's new to me after interacting with them every day for 2 weeks (based on a true story) xdd so what I notice at first is the overall vibe they present, which is a combination of their posture and body language, clothes and accessories, facial expressions etc. This doesn't tell absolutely accurately who they are, but it shows how they want to be perceived mixed with some unconscious elements they might not notice themselves, which is interesting to me

6. what’s your eye color?

eh idk, people say they're blue when I'm in a blue pool, green when I'm among greenery, grey when it's a bit dark. I guess they're a subtle mixture that looks like nothing until there's something external that brings out one of the colors. it's a bit annoying tbh, so I usually just say grey

7. scary movies or happy endings?

i love horror, very high on my list of fav genres, but I also love happy endings, just not necessarily in horrors. In media other than horror I need HE or I feel down. So i'd say: both

8. any special talents?

I've had a music talent since I was little, couldn't understand how other kids didn't know how to play the flute or keep the rhythm. I've also heard various ppl say that I somehow know how to arrange things to be aesthetically pleasing, but I could never explain how to do it, it just looks better a certain way. A bit for drawing, considering how fast I improved compared to some other people, but I haven't pursued it farther than sketching. Sport comes pretty smoothly to me and my body, I've always been "the athletic girl"

I may sound like i'm bragging but i try to be objective for my own self. After all "talent" means nothing and is just bitterly wasted if you're not practising, so for me it can be more of a shameful thing that I let rot rather than something to be proud of. It's also so useless when teaching others, because you don't know how to explain shit when you do it intuitively, which tripped me a lot of times while trying to teach someone. Very annoying and sometimes isolating in a sense that you just vibe with yourself instead of sharing the experience with others

9. where are you born?

in a hospital

10. what are your hobbies?

reading, writing, taking care of plants, pen & paper rpgs, collecting weird trinkets and paintings, drawing, horror movies, detective stories, listening to podcasts

11. do you have any pets?

we have a dog but I moved out of my family home recently and the doggo stayed there, I still visit often and walk him, but it doesn't feel like he's really mine anymore :(

12. what sports do you/have you played?

I did gymnastics and horse-riding for a few years as a kid, used to jog in middle/high school, I also go on a trip to the mountains at least once a year to hike bc I'm obsessed with it. Recently I like to do yoga and fitness to bring my body to its limit and stretch all the pains that keep accumulating. I almost didn't move from my desk for over a year some time ago because i was too busy with uni, work and a few other big things, and it ended up in a neck injury that escalated to a few months of rehab. Now I move a lot so those nightmarish pain and several contusions don't repeat

13. how tall are you?

taller than most women and many guys

14. favourite subject in school?

all languages, math, biology

15. dream job?

neuroscientist, astronaut or pilot of small planes

-

I have no idea who did this already, feel free to ignore as always. Tagging @prommethium @miyakuli @still-gathering-roses @carmine-sunlight @wikipedie

[perpetuallylatetothefandomparty]

3, 6, 10, 12, and 25 from the writer asks please!

3 - how you feel about your current WIP

I'm going to be completely honest here and say that... I kind of hate it? I'm just at that stage where the flaws are obvious and the good parts are a bit obscured from view. Once I've got it all down then I can edit it and like it a bit more. At least, that's what'll hopefully happen.

6 - the word that appears most in your current draft

"Keith" is top, then "Keith's", but excluding names the top 3 are "druid", "eyes", and "guard". Make of that what you will hehe

10 - what is the longest amount of time you've let a draft rest before you finished it?

Not sure if this counts, but when I was younger and doing original stuff, there was a story I left for 2 or 3 years before coming back and giving it a shoddy ending lmao.

Fic-wise... hmm. *glances at Google Drive and looks away from all the abandoned works* Generally that doesn't happen. If a story gets left for much longer than a month I'll take it as read that I'm probably never going to finish it haha because I'll have moved on and lost the inspiration/motivation to write it. (That's the main reason I don't post until it's all written, because I know I can't necessarily be trusted to deliver) I also don't tend to have many wips that I care about going on at once, because I'm slightly obsessive about getting them finished :)

12 - a trope you're really into right now

Ooh, I've been reading some darkfics lately- absolutely consuming that whump. (Which has inevitably bled into my writing hehe) Hurt and angst (accompanying comfort and fluff optional) are still dear to my heart in terms of genre though!

In terms of specific tropes, I love found family- it's an enduring favourite and one of the things I love Voltron for. I also go for trauma, cold-blooded and sadistic torture, Stockholm syndrome, caretaking, self-sacrifice, self-harm, human experimentation, pleading for mercy (bonus points if no mercy is forthcoming!), and of course hugs in pretty much any context absolutely destroy me. I could list more, but oops, the question was only for only one trope and that's... like... thirteen.

I guess my favourite set-up (getting a little off topic here but anyway) would be someone asking to be hurt in someone they care about's place (I'm kind of imagining a Keith scenario here) but that request is rejected and the loved one gets hurt anyway. The helplessness there is delicious to read/write.

25 - besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

I have a few! Still kind of mastering keeping the idea that 'it's okay not to touch hobbies every day' in my head, because really between classes and trying to have a social life and writing and sleeping I really don't have enough free time to pursue every hobby all the time :')

Music was a huge obsession for me a while back, and for a while I thought I'd end up studying it, but no (going for chemistry instead). Still a big part of my life though, so playing piano is one of my go-to hobbies. (Messing around on bass is a little more chill, I do that too.) And I listen to music pretty much constantly, especially when writing or travelling haha

Reading, obviously, whether that's fics or physical books. I used to do it a ton but distressingly less so since my schedule's got tighter and writing (the current dominant hobby) has been using up more of what free time I have.

Those are the main ones! I also do little bits of sound engineering and cycling (although that's usually just for my commute) and I dabble in various arty/crafty things; there's probably more, but that's all I can think of at the moment.

Thanks for the ask! ♡

[mageofseven]

Heyyy! I NEED an Obey me matchup!

You can match me with any of the boys! (referring to both groups, just like you mentioned in the guidelines)

Okie so, I don't really have hobbies. I prefer to go with the flow, so I have fleeting interests. Nowadays, I'm into graphic designing, but its just a way for me to pass time.

I'm an ISTP-T, basically the ones who wanna be different (ik about the pick me energy here).

I'm a January aquarius, so I am very sensitive. I am a really good person at heart, like- no joke here, I'd probably go out of my way to help others. My moonsign is Taurus- so yk how aggressive i can be if I want, but I only show aggression if I see some injustice happening ( no, not the "heroic" kind of injustice: I'll just probably help you if I saw someone being a Karen to you). I'm basically the kind of anon who would sends asks to just check on you🤷‍♀️

Personality wise, I am kinda fluid. I generally match the energy of the person with whom I'm interacting- you wanna be an introvert, imma be an introvert. You wanna party? I'll get the drinks. That's the sort of person I am. So far, I've had no problem making friends (thank god for that). I do have my Karen moments tho. I am not the type of person who will be rude to someone randomly, but if you wanna pick a fight then square up~

One bad trait about me is that I can talk too much. Like, sometimes I do not even realise! And I end up over sharing with strangers?

A few random things—I'm a dog person, I lie a lot (but only the kind of lie which won't result in something irreversibly bad). I'm a college student studying science. I love all guys with glasses, no hinting at any particular character tho. I own a llama plushie and a Teddy bear, both are well loved and have their own names.

My current obsession is Obey me, all characters are so cool, I love all of them so so much!( Luke as a son obvio!)

That's all ig. I hope it wasn't too long...and if it's too long then I'm sorry! I tend to get carried away sometimes! Also, it's totally okay to say no to a matchup! (Because I have such a problematic personality, I can understand if you refuse!)

I don't need an anon name but imma use it to thank you later in case you write thisss- so I will be ❄️ anon!

Awww you sound so cute! And honestly, one man consistently came to mind as I read your info.

I pair you with...

Asmodeus

I feel like Asmo is also generally a person who likes to go with the flow of things to the point where different interests come and go (well, interests other than those related to his beauty or health at least). I think he'd also appreciate a partner who could match his energy and wavelength.

With you being a January Aquarius, it tells me that you're a very upfront, progressive, and caring person, but also very fun loving. All traits I think Asmo would appreciate! And no worries, sweetie, there's no such thing as telling Asmo 'too much' and he'll honestly love how you're so comfortable with him to go in depth with things.

I'll admit, Asmo probably knows very little about science so much of that would go over his head, but if you learn something in class that you find really fascinating, please tell him about it! After all, it's not about what you say, but that you're enjoying what you're talking about; to him, that's enough~

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hello, looking for advice

tw for dissociation(?)

I have diagned ptsd, suspected dpdr as a result of such

usually, I'm ok with dpdr when it's in the back seat. my main relationship with it is feeling as if I'm a fictional character in a fictional story, which overall makes me feel more confident, safe, and I never feel overwhelmed or stressed. it puts a little strain on my personal relationships, but I'm more of an independent person anyway and I do have a few close friends also have a dissociative disorder and get it. otherwise, I'm totally able to function. I don't feel as if anything is real, but I have a strong sense of self and my memories as they fit into the "story"

however, it's been really really bad these past few months. I'm not exactly sure what triggered it but sometime in december I just lost my identity and feel like a shell of a person. I feel like nothing- no emotions, no memories, no personality. instead of things feeling fictional, it's more like I'm trapped in a blank void- there's nothing, real or fake, around me at all. I'm completely cut off from everything with nothing to hold on to. I don't feel like me. any time I try to reconnect with my personality, whether that be through hobbies or interests or my looks, it feels like I'm faking being me. like I'm forcing myself to be something I'm not, even though I'm just trying to feel that euphoric sense of self again.

I've also been struggling a lot with my looks? I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself and it's stressing me out. I have some level of dysmorphia (probably caused by dpdr's weird visual distortion thing) and it feels like every week I'm obsessing over a new physical feature I feel like should be different, when in the past I didn't even think about that stuff.

I'm honestly just looking for help on what to do. I am in therapy, and my therapist just recommended to keep trying to do things I used to like doing, but nothing is clicking.

how does one lessen the effects of dissociation/dpdr?? how do I break out of this fog??

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been going through.

Especially when you have PTSD, dissociation can become a common survival mechanism deployed during any level of stress. As someone with PTSD as well, please know that you're not alone in not just dissociating, but experiencing DPDR as well. It can be really distressing and disorienting.

This article has some ideas for dealing with the symptoms of DPDR, such as grounding exercises, breathing exercises, mindfulness exercises, and also to abstain from any psychoactive substances.

Sometimes for people who experience PTSD and dissociation, they may also be plural in the sense that the person you feel you are changes, which can include a change in likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. This can also manifest in the way you perceive your body as it may conflict with how you appear internally. Certain parts can also hold on to memories that others are left without. Ultimately it's up to you to define and describe your experiences, but I just want to help explore all possibilities.

It might be worth having a discussion with your therapist about needing to try something new because it sounds like just doing what you used to like doing is not enough. It may also be helpful to discuss some other reasons for why you may be feeling what you're feeling, and get your therapist's opinion.

If anyone else has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[paigemathews]

Okay seriously?! I don't understand that anon's problem?!?!?! Are people really that pathetic and needy that they sit waiting for people to reply all day long? In this day and age life is so incredibly busy and hard as you said there's not many moments to sit still and just appreciate life anymore and it royally sucks :/ I'm sure you just like me would love to have time to edit and talk away to people a lot more but sadly it only comes around every now and again for chances life has to come first no matter how much you may want to interact and obsess over your shows. If the anon is that bothered why not try messaging other charmed blogs who may have a little more time to answer if it's that big of a deal? Sounds to me like it's a teenager who doesn't have to work or have family, pay bills among other things such as health and just taking a "you" moment with a cuppa and a book to switch off for all of 5 minutes if that. I'd give anything for some time to live again adulting is soooo much fun..said nobody ever x'D

I think that to some extent, it's easy to view people on the internet, especially specialized blogs like this, as content instead of individuals doing something for fun. Same notion as why you shouldn't give criticism to people who don't ask for it. This is a hobby that people are doing for fun in their spare time, and they're not obligated to give you anything: fics, edits, meta, thoughts, etc.

The funny thing to me is that I definitely get the desire for more Charmed content. I mean, one of the only things I even use Tumblr for anymore is the Charmed tag. And it's definitely a small fandom and there's not a ton of people creating stuff or writing or editing or anything like that. Which is why I made this blog.

Like sometimes, if you want more content? More fics, more aesthetics, more headcanons, more meta, more anything? Ya gotta make it yourself. I mean. I'm not saying don't engage with other people's stuff, but this is a show that ended nearly two decades ago unfortunately. And depending on what you're wanting in regards to characters, ships, plots, scenes, etc., you're gonna have to do the specific stuff yourself sometimes. (Please be aware that I Am Not Saying Not to Engage with People but like if you're wanting something specific... you can also do that? Like, honestly, asking another blog and then still doing it yourself means more content, which no one is gonna be sad about.)

Okay, but yeah, back to the point. (Me going on a tangent? Pft, that's the entire blog, lbr,) Anon was definitely a frustrated teenager with a bit of an entitled fandom problem, who is almost definitely gonna look back on this in a few years and cringe. And I say that bc, while I was so by far not the worst, my entry into fandom was not on the best angle of things. (There's literally an apology on my FFN profile for anyone I ever gave "constructive criticism" to as a teenager, and I still feel bad about it today.) And don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly thrilled with getting called a bitch - actually, no, that's a lie, I started laughing at that, might be one of the best moments of my life. But I hope (and recommend) that they find their own creative way to engage with fandom! Just preferably not Dear John-ing random Charmed blogs for not answering fast enough (thanks @chloesaunders for that reply, it's now the exclusive way imma talk about it).

[futuregws]

They might be still lurking so if you don’t answer this on your blog I understand BUT wanna hear something interesting about the person she quote tweeted with that picture?

First of all, I knew at some point she’ll post a pic of them 2 as some kind of validation for shippers and “gotcha” to antis. It’s funny af that it’s a bts pic where I’m not even sure if that’s Joseph or not and they’re not even near each other LMFAO

Secondly, that person is also here on tumblr. I won’t write there name if you do decide to post BUT. This person often draws a lot of fanart of ExC ship. This is the same person who posted that art of them two flexing together AND in the tags said “I’m gonna draw nsfw art out of spite”. This is the same post that Grace reblogged (then deleted) saying “the tags made me 😈”.

Also like last week or so they DID draw a nsfw art of eddie eating Chr*ssy out… which got reported and flagged for adult content (obviously). And they ranted about “American Puritanism” and blamed disgusting/jealous/childish st*ddies for taking down their art. Meanwhile some blogs sub posted about what they said, saying that they sounded homophobic af to blame st*ddies for tumblr taking down their NSFW art as if tumblr doesn’t have policies against it

You know what, fuck it I'm gonna post this bc I wanna answer and it would be complicated to do it on a separate post, but before I say anything if someone could send me that persons @ on here so I can block please, and now onto what the ask is actually about and where to even begin, I'm not surprised that the person posting that acts the way they do bc apparently they are also a Joe and Grace shipper so I think that says a lot about how far they go and how obsessed they are, and this whole vibe from Grace's posts where it looks like she's trying to annoy or like you said having that "gotcha" energy with it, it's embarrassing, post whatever but don't act as if you're posting something out of this world that will make some people in this case "antis" be furious bc that's in her head and her fans heads and if they care that much to try and make us mad idk what to tell them, and about that last part I don't even have words to express how grossed out I am, first of all them coming out and complaining about "American puritanism" uhm girly you are literally posting explicit sexual content on an app that has numerous times tried to make those type of stuff go away, so I don't know what they were expecting from this, and second that's fucking gross, what's the point of drawing stuff like that, bc if it's still to "piss antis off" then geez get another hobby bc it's starting to look like a very unhealthy obsession, and the fact that they're making drawings like that when one of the characters is a minor, it's ten times worse, they need to get their heads out of their ass bc I really don't understand in what world making a drawing like that it's totally okay, more specifically with the characters in question, and the main problem is not even the type of drawing even though I do have my problems with this one in specific, If you wanna draw stuff like that go for it, but you have to accept that when you're posting that on the internet some people might get uncomfortable and rightfully so, not everyone likes looking at explicit sexual acts if you wanna post stuff like that with no problems go to the appropriate website, and the audacity they have to blame steddie shippers, I've noticed that it has become some type of trend to blame steddie shippers for everything even when they didn't do anything, it's like edissy shippers see themselves as superior and any other opinion or ship is below them and the fact that the ship in question is a gay ship certainly makes you think a little deeper as to where that's coming from bc it's not normal to target a group of people when they haven't done anything and on top of that for it to be a group supporting mlm relationships feels definitely homophobic

[despair-edits]

Hiya! Uhh, can i get a matchup? Sorry if I get anything wrong I'm new to matchup blogs that have mods.

⚔️ — MATCHUP FOR: DDLC, Helltaker, BNHA (If one of them you can't match for me try genshin impact! ^^ those are basically the only fandoms i reside in)

⚔️ — APPEARANCE && STUFF : My big three is Virgo, my MBTI is ENFJ. I am quite tall about 6'8, though my face doesn't match my body i have a case of chronic babyface, im very pale. I have curly hair with heterochromia (yes heterochromia on the hair exists) my hair is black with lightish brown strands, i wear glasses and cannot see a damn thing without them i have to get uncomfortably close to see someone's face, I have two genetically pointy ears that make look like an elf.

⚔️ — PERSONALITY : My personality is extremely loud and chaotic, my laugh is very loud plus it sounds like a villain who defeated the hero or a complete maniac, everything i say comes off in a loud tone. I am quite literally loud in everything i do EVEN IN WHISPERS SOMETIMES, I am very random and will absolutely try to make you laugh, i literally never shut up. I will most definitely say the most out of pocket things like "exotic cricket" i spend most of my time sleeping and I'm a very heavy sleeper, I have to wake up by myself because no one else can wake me up not even sounds or water people genuinely think i died. I have Aichmomania (obsession with sharp objects) and collect sharp swords, i am touch averse despite what others think, i mostly read romcom and mythology books not 100% a bookworm. i will find a pokemon that matches with you if you are my friend, most of my friends have been introverts that i adopted as friends.

⚔️ — HOBBIES : My hobbies include: drawing, dancing (in my cultural dance only) collecting pokemon cards, acting like a knight at random, collecting swords.

⚔️ — MORE ABOUT : I also have solar urticaria that's why I'm so pale, thus i can only go out at night. People compare me to a bat for this because well, 1. Poor eyesight 2. I go out at night only.

;; aaaaaa I'm sorry if I did anything wrong — 🗡️ Anon

I match you up with:

Denki Kaminari!

I feel like he'd enjoy your randomness and loudness, also making both of you probably the loudest pair possible. You guys would be an adorable couple that makes everyone around light up with joy on sight. He would have to remind himself not to be too pushy about physical affection and to go on dates at night, but I'm sure he'd get used to it quickly. He's just a sweet boy!

Himiko Toga!

An obvious choice, I know, I know. But hear me out. Loud knife duo??? On the rooftop?? Watching the stars and people below as you laugh away into the night?? Hell yeah. She'd love you unconditionally, but again, would have to be reminded about your touch aversion. She would kick ass of anyone that dares to make you uncomfortable. Her friend group (aka the league of villains) is mostly made out of introverts so I have a feeling you're gonna have to adopt a lot of quiet rats while being with her :D

Xiao!

That is admittedly a very far jump from the other matches, but I just feel like it would be a perfect opposites attract kind of scenario. He's quiet and HIGHLY introverted. I do feel like he needs a little light in his life, one that wouldn't cross his boundaries. I headcanon him to be touch repulsed, at least in case of people he doesn't know very well. You'd meet up in the inn, the cool wind of the night surrounding you as you talk his ears off. And, for the first time in a very long time, Xiao would feel at home. If you can break down his walls and survive living with an aries, then you'd have a sweet relationship full of mutual understanding.

Jean!!

Please take her out of her office. Adopt this workaholic introvert I am begging you. Talk her into going out and having some fun, take her to a tavern or on a walk, she needs it. Fall asleep on her so she has no choice but stay in bed and rest. Make her laugh by pretending to be her Knight in shining armour that saves her from an endless pile of paperwork.

I hope those matches are to your liking. Lmk if you'd like me to change it to someone else!

-Mod Nagito

[my-brothers-corrupted]

It's okay to talk about how hurting you are, Jackie. You came out of it with scars and trauma too. You're not alone in your pain, and JJ and you have been through the ringer and pulled back again. It's okay to acknowledge that it hurts. Not everything is okay, but that's okay.

Jackie purses his mouth before sticking another handful of nachos in it.

"I'm just taking guesses here," says Bowlan. "But the only reason I'm bringing it all up is because I expect that the pair of you need some medical attention as well."

Blue and Jackie exchange sulking looks. Blue sips at his fizzy drink.

Bowlan sighs.

"Okay. Let's talk Kayden."

"Please," mumbles Blue.

"Schizophrenia is one thing. There are ways we can work on handling it. Sometimes schizophrenia does not respond well to treatment or medication, but based on what you've told me, I think some behavioral therapy and medication, along with social support, could really help Kayden improve."

"That's great. But you said you thought there was more than schizophrenia going on."

"Well, there's the obvious things - vitamin deficiencies and some other things I want to look into. His bones are pretty brittle. I'm not surprised he has old fractures. But psychologically, yes, I'm worried about other things. Your brother's traumatized. I'm concerned about Post-Incarceration Syndrome."

“What... what is that?” asks Jackie. “Like, what does that mean?”

“No matter what happened to you boys, it seems that Kayden has really felt that he has been alone – and possibly stuck in his room – for several months, believing that this Anti is forcing him to stay inside. So, while Post-Incarceration Syndrome is usually applied to someone who has been in prison, I think it might describe some of what your brother is going through. It often includes PTSD – the reliving his terror, the paranoia, the panic attacks and breakdowns – and can even include Stockholm Syndrome, which, in what I have to admit would make a very interesting case study, he seems to have developed through his own hallucination. Most concerningly, I think that Kayden is demonstrating Social Sensory Deprivation from long-term isolation.”

Blue's stomach flips. He stares down at his plate, losing his appetite fast.

“He has some stimming behaviors consistent with intense social deprivation, including, at times, self-harm, slamming his head into things or biting his fingers to blood. He's deeply obsessive. You've probably seen the way he draws for hours and hours at a time, often unable to stop even when someone tries to pull him out of it, and sometimes drawing the same thing again and again and again. He gets overwhelmed if you talk to him for too long, but at the same time, he seems almost alarmingly desperate for social interaction. He needs to be with people right now.”

“We won't leave him on his own again,” whispers Blue, unable to meet his eyes. “We... couldn't do anything about it til now.”

“All we can do is move forward,” agrees the old man kindly, stirring his tea. “I'm just sorry he's been through so much. And I'm glad he has you now.”

“Yes, forever now,” agrees Jackie. “I promise.”

“But there is another reason I'm bringing this up. Post-Incarceration Syndrome can also include personality changes and a shifted view of the world. In Kayden, this is appearing as learned helplessness and submissiveness, generally ingrained in a person as part of their survival mechanism in an oppressive or abusive environment. He has felt that he is completely at the mercy of this monster for a very long time, and that would make it difficult for anyone to get out of the mindset that kept them alive.

"On the other hand, in some prisoners, it manifests as aggression towards others and more angry, defensive personality traits and outbursts, trying to protect one's self from the abusive environment by lashing out. But Kayden has been mild – and in fact quite kind – so long as he isn't hallucinating a threat. There can also be a need for control and a preference for the set-up of the abusive system even if it was problematic. They're called Institutionalized Personality Traits – or just Antisocial Personality Traits. And I bring this up, boys, just because I wonder if maybe Kayden isn't the only one displaying some of these behaviors.”

Blue and Jackie look up together, and then at each other, sharing the same expression of alarm. Just as quickly, they turn back to their plates, Jackie scraping up his chips while Blue takes a hasty sip of his drink.

Bowlan laughs and then clears his throat apologetically. “Sorry, it's just that you two are certainly twins. I think you must be using telepathy.”

Blue sighs, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “We just... we're here for Dap – for Kayden.”

“If Kayden is the only one who's been through hell in the last few months, then sure, let's focus on Kayden,” Bowlan agrees, picking at his salad.

“I do have some control issues and a bad temper sometimes,” says Jackie. “Hard to keep my emotions in check. That's probably all you're seeing.”

“Ah,” says Bowlan, visibly unconvinced. “And yourself, Matti?”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” answers Blue blankly.

“You're also quite thin, the pair of you. A little more active, I would guess, but quite thin. A little scarred up. A little panicky at times, if you don't mind me saying. Look, we don't have to get into it, I'm not a shrink, just... think about it. About getting some help for yourself.”

Blue turns away darkly, but Jackie's wheels are already spinning, absent-mindedly sifting his chips through cheese. He does have angry outbursts. He does cling to the brother system and relive bad shit that's happened to him, and sometimes he feels so angry at everyone else around him that he just wants to slink home to his brothers and spend the rest of his life hating the world until it stops scaring him. Post-Incarceration Syndrome. It repeats in his head.

Maybe it's a name for the enemy he's facing.

And if he can admit that there is an enemy to face, if he can admit that there is something that's hurting him - well, maybe then he can fight it too.

“What do we do to help Kayden with all that, though?” asks Blue. “Social isolation and learned helplessness and Stockholm Syndrome. Like a therapist, okay, sure. But what do we do? As his family?”

“I think it will be really good for him to be living with someone again,” Bowlan encourages. “Keeping him company, providing him with the social stimulation he's been missing. Just helping him live again, you know? He needs hobbies other than drawing for fourteen hours a day. Needs to get out of the house, to meet people, to remember who he was before all this. Help him make his own decisions and give him power in his life again so he doesn't think he just has to lie down and let this all happen to him. Respecting his choices is going to be key here. I've been watching you two – I know you want to take care of him. But you will need to be able to let him decide how to take care of himself too once he's feeling a little more stable. Otherwise you'll just become the new boss to him.”

Blue nods. He supposes that's what the cameras said too. Tearing down the big brother system. Treating Dapper like an equal. In the abstract, it all makes sense. He just needs to start applying it. Harder than it sounds, but... necessary. Vital, even. Shit, this is going to be difficult.

"Do you have any questions for me?" asks the doctor.

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Grace: Did you even tell anyone you were staying out?? 🤔🤔 Janis: Did YOU warn the fam you were inviting the devil inside? 🤔🤔 Grace: Rude! Grace: Someone woke up on the wrong side of the barista's bed Grace: OMG is he that bad? How shaming Janis: Wouldn't you all love to know Grace: Like you would anyway, you don't have anything to compare him too Janis: Again, you wish you knew Janis: but yes, I text them Janis: that it? Grace: Oh honey, we ALL knew you were a virgin Grace: Did he? Grace: Before you made it obvious, I mean Grace: You should have come home first, me & the girls could have helped you out Janis: It's cute Janis: all the things you THINK you know Janis: yeah, that'd be fun Janis: Mia must've dropped the invite on her way out Janis: with the story, likw Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: girl please Grace: Mia'll get over it Grace: Unlike ME! You could've told me! Janis: Get over herself? Janis: Unlikely Janis: Told you what? Grace: OMG how hungover are you!? Don't be dense Grace: THE GOSSIP obvs Grace: I have to hear it from Mia Grace: so UNACCEPTABLE Janis: It's gossip 'cos she made it Janis: as if I had a chance to tell you or anyone, even if I wanted, when she went live with it Grace: There's always time to give me the real story Grace: You've got a phone Grace: Look how quick you answered this morning 🙄 Janis: 'Cos I thought you might have some real concern Janis: shoulda known better Grace: I AM concerned bitch Grace: you could be in a ditch Janis: Yeah, new boy's a serial killer Janis: this ain't the CW Grace: I didn't even know you were with HIM, did I? Grace: You never tell me anything Janis: Now who's being dense Janis: 1+1=2 Grace: Excuse me for having a nun for a sister Grace: Usually Janis: Again Janis: get a clue Grace: OMG Grace: I'm trying Janis: Bless 💕 Grace: Are you coming home TODAY? Janis: Are the coven gone Grace: I wouldn't bother asking if they hadn't Grace: I'm not stupid Janis: Probably then Janis: I got stuff to do Grace: One of them better be 🚿 Grace: Whelan's is soooooooo gross Janis: Not like you've ever got inside to know Grace: It's not like I want to Grace: like I said, ew Janis: Not with that baby face 😂 Grace: Shut up Janis: Like I said, bless Grace: I hate you so much Grace: This is what I get for being nice Janis: Nice Janis: Where? Grace: This WHOLE convo Grace: From the moment I checked you were still alive Grace: & I defended you last night GOD KNOWS why Janis: Shouldn't have to Janis: if your friends weren't cunts you wouldn't be in such a mood Grace: You're the only one being a bitch to me, Janis Grace: Newsflash Janis: Nah Janis: I'd have to be interested for that Grace: Yeah we KNOW you're only into barista boy Janis: Why would I be interested in anything you're doing Janis: it's them with the fucked priorities for giving a shit Grace: OMG get over yourself Grace: getting one boy to sleep with you doesn't make you God's gift Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: Like I told you before, he'll get bored Janis: You first Janis: Like I told you before, get a hobby Janis: pass it on Grace: Whatever Grace: Don't come crying to me when he realises how much of a bitch you are Janis: 😰 Janis: Don't come to me when you grow a backbone and/or personality of your own Janis: still won't be interested Grace: I already have both thanks Janis: 👌 Grace: 👋 Janis: Cute 😂 Grace: At least one of us is Janis: Sick burn Janis: If only someone that weren't Mia thought so, eh babe? Janis: Sad times 💔 Grace: Take your own advice and get a clue Janis: 😂 #exposed Janis: get some self-esteem Grace: You need it more Grace: Letting that boy use you like this....tragic Janis: I'm God's gift, remember Janis: Can't have it both ways baby Grace: I said you think you are Grace: Not that he does Janis: SELF-esteem, Gracie Janis: not 'this boy would chuck it up me from behind' esteem Janis: poor thing Grace: Faking having it doesn't mean you really do, hun Grace: We can all flex on the snap Grace: You're honestly so embarrassing Janis: I don't need facetune to flex Janis: no filters gonna fix all...that 💋 Grace: You DO need it, you just don't USE it Janis: Nah, I don't though Janis: tragedy Grace: Sure Jan Grace: Keep telling yourself that, babes Janis: You keep telling yourself Janis: can't talk someone into feeling as bad as you do Janis: let your bestie in on the secret and maybe you'll both stop being such poisonous little trolls 💕 Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: You wish Grace: Can't be bullied without a bully, but you're not that important to Mia 💔 Janis: Oh no Janis: not queen Mia Janis: suck her dick a lil better and she might love you back Janis: story of your life though, that 🤷 Grace: You're actually disgusting Grace: Save it for your boyfriend, I'm sure it makes him really 😍😍😍 Janis: Yeah, and I'm the Nun Janis: the swings and roundabouts you have to go on to make me the bad guy Janis: no wonder you're braindead 😵 Grace: Yeah sure 🙄 Grace: I don't have to say things to cover up the fact I don't know what I'm doing Grace: You sound 12 Janis: Lie of the year goes to Janis: that's all that comes out your mouth Janis: fuck what's going in it 😂 Janis: I'm glad I don't like you, it'd be exhausting having to pity you as hard as is needed Grace: Again, you wish Grace: You tell me to get a hobby, you make the same 'argument' over and over again Janis: it ain't an argument Janis: irrefutable facts Janis: don't like it, change it up Janis: we all got bored a long time ago Grace: Exactly, it isn't, it's you trying to throw shade TERRIBLY Grace: You don't know a single fact about me, babe Grace: Clearly you don't like THAT if you have to keep pretending you do Grace: Hm? Sounds like me with his convo Grace: Don't you have a boy getting bored rn? You might wanna focus on that Janis: Nothing to know Janis: Shadow of a shadow Janis: Literally how are you the blandest granola ass bitch outta the lot and they're all white as hell Janis: not even earning them mixed points, it's a real talent how uninteresting you are, truly Janis: tutorial on that, please Grace: 😂😂😂😂 Grace: But you're STILL talking to me instead of him Grace: What's the matter? Not everything you hoped it'd be? So sad Janis: I got more than one braincell Janis: can talk about put mascara on Janis: though the memes of you failing in your last vid have been amusing, tah for that Grace: You should try doing it Grace: Obvs you need more that mascara but every little helps Janis: Not with a face like that Janis: but you know, more is more and it almost constitutes a mask at this point Grace: 👏👏👏 Janis: There you go, now when you cry like a little bitch about it, you've got reason beyond your victim complex Janis: welcome ✌ Grace: MINE? You're the one who thinks that we're so invested in your little love story that we're all out for sabotage Grace: Please Janis: You know you can see when people watch your stories, yeah? Janis: she was like, the first view Janis: so much for not being important, don't worry, I won't steal your girl Grace: She's mad 'cause you outshined her coffee date moment Grace: Like I said, she'll get over it Janis: Should stop making herself vom Janis: wreaks havoc on your natural glow, but that's neither here nor there Grace: And she's the evil one Grace: That's not funny or true Janis: Cry me a river Janis: not gonna if she kills herself making herself look even worse than her personality Grace: OMG STOP Grace: You're as bad as she is Grace: Obsessed with each other 🙄 Grace: Get a room or something Janis: Awh, wanna be BFFs then?! Janis: 😏 Grace: Shut up Grace: I'd rather be the one who dies Janis: Didn't think so Grace: The first thing you've got right this whole time Grace: Well done, babes Janis: I ain't the one in remedials with the rest of the thickos Grace: Stop calling me stupid Janis: Any time you fancy stopping Janis: be my guest Grace: And what? Be more like you? 😂 Janis: You wish Janis: Be less braindead, would be a start Grace: YOU wish Grace: Caring about what I look like doesn't make me braindead Grace: It makes you a judgey bitch Janis: Yeah, that's the issue Janis: look like Sephora threw up on your face all you want Janis: at least be a person with it, not a painted fuckdoll Grace: So sorry I can't get top marks in maths or whatever OMG Janis: 🔬 Grace: I don't even know what you're talking about now Janis: Just trying to find your last surviving braincell Grace: Find it with the last place you cared about anything Janis: 🔭 Janis: Nope Janis: no signs of life Janis: soz Grace: So glad I could make you feel better about your crap shag by insulting me Grace: But I'm the idiot 👌 Janis: Awh, don't do yourself down Janis: never let it be said you don't have your uses Grace: I'm not here to be used by you, hun Grace: Deal with that Janis: Just a cumdump and Mia's personal bitch Janis: coolio 👍 Grace: Says you Grace: You've known that boy for like a day Grace: & Mia's more concerned with you right now, like I said Janis: 😱 Janis: Are you SLUT SHAMING me Janis: dundundun Janis: know you're 💔 but babes, girl code Grace: I'm stating a fact Grace: You think you're better than me, you aren't Janis: You think I am Janis: I just don't disagree, that's all Grace: I think you're the worst person this family has so far produced Grace: But whatever you need to tell yourself Janis: A dagger through my heart Janis: good thing you've got no place then init Grace: Yeah Grace: Bad enough I have to have the same last name as you all Janis: Marry the first boring white boy who will settle for you and no one ever need know Grace: And follow in your footsteps? No thanks Janis: You couldn't fill these shoes, figuratively and literally Grace: I don't want to Grace: You dress worse than your boyfriend Grace: At least he gets paid to look like that some of the time Janis: as much as I'd LOVE to look like topshop's sale rack Janis: you rinse 'em every time, what's a girl to do Grace: Obvs Grace: It's all my fault you look a state Janis: I don't, so don't trouble yourself Grace: You do, but I won't Janis: Mia don't seem to think so 😘 Grace: She hates you, that's her obsession Grace: Keep looking like that, it fuels her Janis: What, the body she's actually killing herself for? Janis: Will do and it's so effortless Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I'm the one who needs a hobby and is soooo uninteresting but you keep talking about Mia cos that's really not Grace: Go into her inbox, please Janis: Like I said, get a personality and we might stand a chance Janis: surgically remove yourself or are you less of a Siamese and more parasite? Grace: Sure, I'll turn myself into her so you can be obsessed with me Grace: You two are ridiculous Janis: 😂😂 Janis: Oh honey Janis: you clearly can't, been trying for years Grace: You wish Grace: Does your boyfriend know you're in love with my best friend? Grace: You might wanna share before he catches feelings Janis: Do you know your best friend kinda hates you? Janis: 😬 too late for you, awkies Grace: Rn the feeling is mutual Grace: Get over it Jan-Jan Janis: 💔 Janis: You'll get over it Janis: well, she'll walk over you, doormat Grace: Like you care Grace: either way Janis: What's the point Janis: You're never going to Grace: I care bitch Janis: You're never going to stand up to her Janis: Why should I be waiting on it with baited breath Grace: You've never waited on me Grace: Don't act like it's Mia's fault Janis: It ain't, it's yours Janis: she's a decent scapegoat though Grace: Again, you wish Grace: Nothing's all my fault, sorry about it Janis: Trust, no part of me wishes for you as my sister Janis: especially what you've become Grace: That makes two of us Janis: You said Janis: with all the care and concern you're claiming Grace: I do care, I just wish I didn't Grace: and that you weren't my sister Janis: Get over it Grace: You can try and tell me what to do as much as you like Grace: Not gonna happen Janis: I know, you're hopelessly pathetic Janis: like I said, no baited breath here Grace: Me? Oh babes Grace: Like I said, tragic Janis: Yeah, you Grace: 😂 Janis: 😥