#you say you support people with marginalized mental illnesses but someone with BPD exaggerates a little bit and suddenly

[orca-iguana]

Sometimes I think people get discomfort and hurt and suffering mixed up and it fucks up a lot of shit. Sometimes people will make you uncomfortable and that is sometimes their fault sometimes your problem and sometimes literally just a thing that happens. It's important to be okay with being uncomfortable and avoiding the uncomfortable often hurts a lot of people around you. Sometimes people will hurt you and a lot of times it's their fault, it's never your fault if you are genuinely hurt, and worst of all sometimes it is nobodies fault at all and is just unavoidable. You can't really get better at dealing with hurt, unless you turn it into the melancholy of suffering. Which sucks. It sucks. But just because you got hurt doesn't mean the correct response is to hurt back. But also when you are suffering you can't really do the whole logical processing thing. And generally I just think people need to be more okay with understanding that sometimes people will be really fucking annoying to you and sometimes the correct response is to block them and move on and sometimes the correct response is to realize oh shit I have something to work through.

[ablednt]

Perhaps I could have been more gentle but I was and am exhausted by people who think any personality disorder causes abuse.

There absolutely should not be communities dedicated to people who were abused by people with specific mental illnesses regardless of if they were diagnosed or not.

There are ways to address that a disorder contributed to abuse but it did not cause the abuse. It's a horrible disservice to subject a vast majority of fellow abuse survivors (as a majoroty of people with these disorders were abused) to violence and hatred because you want to feel a part of something.

Not one abusive behavior is specific to a disorder that's not how it works. And any community founded to discuss a marginalized group they aren't apart of in such a negative light is by definition a hate group.

People with personality disorders are subject to physical violence, additional abuse, and harassment online when it's often their one place of solace. Because of communities like this furthering the stigma of BPD I have to hide the fact I have it from everyone IRL bc the people in my life may physically attack me over it. These communities have every one convinced that my disorder characterized by a fear of abandonment which in my case makes me love my friends so much it hurts and hurt myself emotionally bc I don't think I'm worthy of love or kindness doesn't mean any of that at all but obviously means that I'm going to commit homicide bc hhhrrrrrgh mental illness scary time to commit hate crimes I guess/S

Like let that sink in. I need help for a mental illness that comes with suicidal thoughts and self destructive behaviors but I can't reach out about it because I'm physically unsafe because of the stigma that communities like the one you describe deliberately add to. These people are quite literally directly encouraging my own abuse and physical unsafety in my own home. How is that okay just because it makes some people feel better about themselves? Why do we have to be your punching bags when you could find recovery and solidarity in literally anything else.

So I literally do not care if you feel supported as a survivor in those spaces they were created to demonize and ultimately kill me and people like me.

Consider that your comfort doesn't come before the physical safety of people with disorders because they're an easy scapegoat for abusers.

(Also note this post may sound agressive but it's because I'm tired of having to overexplain myself because everyone loves to put words in my mouth and call me toxic for standing up for my fellow survivors, this post was not gaslighting but your communities DO gaslight mentally ill people in that you tell us how we're allowed to exist, say we don't know our own lives and mental illnesses, and advocate for our deaths. And that's not an exaggeration I've witnessed people in the community you think is so great and welcoming clamoring for the deaths of people with npd bc they cannot fathom that just maybe starting an actual hate group is not a productive outlet for healing or recovery.)

The value of our (people with personality disorders) lives is not up for debate. No one has the goddamn right to tell us that we can't advocate for ourselves that we have to make ourselves palatable for people who want to hurt us, who have entire fucking communities devoted to demonizing and hurting us.

We've been exploited by the media, we've been hurt in every way by society, few of us are safe IRL, and when we try to make our own spaces and advocate for ourselves we're told we're inherently abusive for existing, that we're evil and abusive and deserve to die, harassed constantly, and further abused by fellow neurodivergent people all because y'all want to take your abuse out on someone and we happen to be more marginalized because society still hates us for existing.

I'm tired of it. I'm not having it.

If you have any problem with this response take it somewhere else because I'm not interested.

Your shitty mother isn’t a narcissist. Your toxic ex isnt a psycho. You were not a victim of “bpd abuse”. Your abuser was not sociopathic and did not have antisocial personality disorder/was not antisocial. People with harmful and illogical opinions such as government leaders aren’t delusional.

Start finding vocabulary that isn’t ableist here are some examples of more accurate and less harmful descriptions.

“My mother is conceited and self centered, which impacts me negatively still and led to abuse”

“My ex is violent and seems out of control a lot, and they’ve traumatized me through their abusive behavior”

“My abuser [describe their actions without mentioning their bpd bc its not what fucking makes some one abusive . that would be like saying “my abuser had depression….I am a victim of depressed abuse and distrust those with depression now because they’re abusive” ]

“My abuser didn’t have any sympathy or compassion for others and objectified me.”

“My abuser lashed out at others and was always very cold and distant to me.”

“They’re willfully ignorant and hiding behind their privilege.”