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untitledtallgeesepodcast · 3 years ago

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[TRANSCRIPT] EPISODE 12: SPACE IS (STILL) THE PLACE

Kat 0:03

Hello and welcome to Untitled Tallgeese Podcast, a podcast where Kap, which is me, Mallory, Caitlin, and Cathy all get together and watch Gundam Wing and talk about Gundam Wing. This is episode 15, where we'll be covering episodes 23 and 24.

Kat 0:20

So I'm going to start off with an episode summary of Episode 23: Duo God of Death Once Again. We open with Sally Po salvaging Wing Zero from the bottom of the ocean with a band of rebels. In space, a now recovered Duo is hanging out, shit-talking OZ without even wearing a disguise, and that gets him noticed by newly-minted OZ soldier Hilde Schbeiker, who tells him to enlist. Instead, he steals a mobile suit, prompting a space battle with Hilde. During their own psychic hot pink moment, Duo realizes they're both fighting for the peace of the colonies! So he saves her from becoming collateral damage, and his capture conveniently gets him a ride to the moon. Duo is so hot that Hilde defects and helps him break into his target, the Lunar Base. Duo again allows himself to get the shit beat out of him and captured -- this time strategically -- and is thrown into the brig with Heero and Wufei, who are immediately jerks. He tells them the doctors have begun building a new Deathscythe and Shenlong. Lady Une makes Trowa listen to her monologue about Treize-sama and we fade out.

Kat 0:21

Episode 24: The Gundam They Called Zero starts with a mysterious Gundam attacking an OZ resource satellite, piloted by a traumatized Quatre, who then sets his sights on an actual colony. Lady Une orders Trowa and Heero out with the Mercurius and Veyeate, ignoring Chief Engineer Tsuberov's argument to use the mobile dolls. But with Une distracted, Tsuberov overrides her and orders the air to be cut off to the cells holding the pilots and the doctors, leaving them to die... slowly. Trowa is amped as hell to hang out with Quatre and get the band back together, but Heero is more cautious. Trowa loses half a suit in the ensuing battle and learns that Quatre may not be the ally he thought; he's decided the only way to stop war in outer space is to destroy the colonies themselves and Quatre and Heero prepare to face off as the episode ends.

Mallory 2:03

Yeah, these episodes were really fun.

Kat 2:06

They were really fun and I think they were really straightforward. There's, I don't know, there's like just everything was happening not symbolically.

Caitlin 2:14

Yeah, I love these episodes because they, they contain the entire spectrum of like, Duo eroticism. So

Mallory 2:21

[laughter] All right!

Caitlin 2:24

you have Duo being like cool, for a second, to Hilde. He's got the glasses, he like tries to break into the volunteer group or whatever, the soldiers. He does, he does get some like blows in and then he gets beaten up a bunch? You have cool Duo who we love and then you have beaten up Duo, who we also love. His voice is just so sexy to me throughout this entire thing. Sorry to like, confess my desires here but Duo is really like, working it.

Cathy 2:56

To add on to this in Episode 24 you get moe, cheerful-even-while-dying-but-also-resenting-his-death Duo. And then there's the little bit of like, almost flirtatious but also kind of serious fighting with Heero over who gets to go out of the jail cell and him calling Heero 01, which is a lot of fun. And you know, you get all the little pairings like Trowa beats up Duo so you get your 2x3 and then Wufei is stuck with Duo after Heero leaves you get your 2x5. Heero and Duo are the two that interact once Duo gets caught so you get your 1x2, like you got, you, there's everything.

Kat 3:37

And you get a new female love interest with Hilde.

Caitlin 3:40

Yeah, Duo gets a girlfriend at last he gets his own like mini. He gets mini Noin, as as we call Hilde.

Cathy 3:46

I really had forgotten how much she is like Noin until I rewatched these episodes, like she seems like a younger Noin, including sort of her naivete, and obviously that she's part of OZ. She has the same kind of, you know, I know what's right, and I know what my morals are, and I know what my values are, and I know what my mission is, that Noin had when we were first introduced to her at the Victoria Training Base. And then of course, that gets turned on its head by a man the same way that she does with Zechs.

Caitlin 4:19

Mmhmm.

Cathy 4:20

And then she sort of abandons that original kind of mission statement to seek her own meaning, which is also adjacent to the man's meaning, [laughs] but in a in a fun way.

Caitlin 4:32

And I will say that, in terms of like convincing speeches about politics we see in the show, Duo's points to her do make a little bit more sense than the average one.

Cathy 4:44

Yeah. And I I was trying to pay attention to the narration we got at the beginning, and I think this is consistent with the last two, but it felt more poignant here, where they were saying, you know, we're at this point where the Gundam pilots are trying to find a reason to exist in this changing world. And I thought that was a really great way of explaining, you know what Duo is doing and why I feel like that's so inspiring to Hilde, such that she essentially does a pivot and becomes a free agent in terms of how she is thinking about who she's fighting for. Because, you know, if you think about Duo and the other pilots at this point, the scientists who they've been getting missions from are captured. So it's been radio silent for months and months and months. Their Gundams are gone, they really have never been particularly good about organization or trying to get to a central mission, or if they even know what that central mission is. So they're working so hard and being so bad at it in terms of like, like doing to the best of their ability, something. And I really do think that that speech he gives like, there are some truths that he finds self evident. And it's just really hard for him to understand, like how to get there. And he is like, you can always feel him struggling with that while he talks to Hilde. And so I did find that really moving and really human.

Kat 6:04

When he says, "You remind me of me when I was sent back to earth and decided to fight for the colonies alone," which was really poignant, but also kind of funny and brings up a common complaint, which is I have no idea how much time has passed between things. Sort of like, was that how many months ago was that? When you say months and months and months, they've had time to build all these mobile suits. So and it does appear that OZ now has a pretty good infrastructure on the ground. Hilde's part of like, the OZ Student Volunteer Corps, who I don't think they should be handing mobile suits off to, that seems not like the best way. [laugh]

Caitlin 6:42

But you know, in the logic of this universe that 15 year old are the best piloting mobile suits so [laughs]

Mallory 6:48

Right, you know, why not give a hot headed teenager awash with hormones and rage a mobile suit?

Kat 6:56

I do think Hilde fulfills a really good role that we've been talking about in past podcasts about how we really don't see the colonists' perspective. And it gets very direct with that when she goes, "this is outer space's decision." Like nobody bullied us into arming ourselves and militarizing, we had to make the decision ourselves.

Mallory 7:16

Yeah, we did it for our own protection. She says we weren't going to just sit back and let them take over. She feels. I think. like OZ is giving her some sort of agency in this like feeling of powerlessness that we've kind of talked about and how the colonies feel powerless and insecure, and so if they feel insecure, they want to be armed.

Kat 7:38

There's this phrase she uses, and she says the colonies have "a history of humiliation," that I thought was really interesting and a kind of a perspective that we haven't seen so directly before.

Cathy 7:49

Yes. And also the scientists at the very beginning, remember, I think it's Dr. J who says, basically, well, OZ is treating all the new space colonies just like, and I have in quotes, "old world colonies to be plundered." They were talking about the history of the colonies and how they've been treated and I think in Episode 23, you kind of get that whole spectrum of it, right? You get they're just being exploited. Well, they feel like they need to assert themselves by getting armaments. But no, actually, according to Duo, this is all just hogwash and propaganda. And, you know, this is like this whole spectrum of reasons and thoughts about why this sudden militarization is happening and who's really behind it and who it actually is serving.

Kat 8:29

I'm gonna pick up a thread there when you said propaganda, because something we haven't mentioned, was Zech - er Milliardo Peacecraft inexplicably just hanging out in another conference room with a bunch of old colony dudes in suits. And they mentioned that the engineers or the, the Gundam doctors have been killed, and he thinks, oh, that's the kind of falsehood that could really do a lot of damage. Like he's already noticing that the OZ machine is running.

Mallory 8:54

Right, it was a line that struck me because it's frankly, kind of a terrifying lie in the age of things like Qanon and sort of foreign misinformation campaigns that we are seeing on Twitter and Facebook.

Caitlin 9:07

Zechs pointing out the dangers of fake news?!

Mallory 9:11

Yeah, unmitigated rumor. And I don't know, I think as a journalist it just really strikes me that in a children's TV show there's this like, warning like, "Be careful of lies that you are being told by adults." We only really see, we see news but we only, really only see Une or OZ representatives speaking. We don't really see like, like an independent journalist standing with a microphone or whatever, which tells you where like news and what news is going out and the spin that is being put on that. Like when Une assassinated Septum early on, and she comes out and she's like, Oh, it was the work of those dirty Gundams, right?

Caitlin 9:53

Right. We do know, so one of the, one of the notable like news sequences that we have seen recently is the OZ theatre of destroying Deathscythe, right? We see that they do it. And then we see Duo reacting to it? So we know that like part of their like news cycle right now in the colonies at least is like expelling this, like the Gundams as terrorists,

Cathy 10:17

I almost feel like, because all the players have, or are connected to the military or Romefeller or OZ or Alliance, and the reactions we see about these news documents, be they press releases or broadcasts, are from those players, it feels less like some sort of point about propaganda, or fake news. It feels like to me that OZ released that information to the colonies for a reason, even though there might be backlash from the colony, the individual colonists, but it really was about trying to get colony leadership to agree to the OZ takeover.

Caitlin 11:01

Yeah, you think, you think it's about the people who are making decisions, not about trying to control public opinion?

Cathy 11:08

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Caitlin 11:10

I think that might be true. Like, to a certain extent, that is what they're doing. But we also do see that public opinion has shifted, and that there is a real, a real effect to this. That's what, that's sort of what the point of Hilde is, to know that there are people in the colonies who have changed their perspective on how to fight, that they've joined up with the OZ Volunteer Corps.

Mallory 11:33

Exactly. And sort of it shows the hold that OZ already has, and the sort of foundation that OZ has already built within the colonies, in that they already have, you know, like Kat was saying earlier, they already have a Student Corps. You know, like that these structures kind of pop up really quickly.

Caitlin 11:51

The ease with which these structures arose, speaks to the, the things for which the colonies are usually used? Like they're already sort of like primed for manufacturer. They're primed for like the sort of intense sort of governmental control because you need somebody inside each of these colonies managing each moment. There's something about them that lends them very quickly towards this militarization process.

Mallory 12:18

Right, like it's easy to trade one dictator for another one.

Kat 12:21

Because the structure of the colonies is already so not necessarily militaristic, but -

Caitlin 12:27

- authoritarian, maybe?

Kat 12:28

Yeah.

Caitlin 12:29

Just, just because like in order to keep a colony running, you have to have sort of an unquestioning -

Mallory 12:34

- like a really strong hierarchy

Caitlin 12:36

Right, because if somebody starts questioning their orders, you could destroy the colony.

Kat 12:41

When Quatre is, puts his actual Gundam inside the colony and is like, "colonies don't need things like this!" about a ferris wheel -

Mallory 12:49

Right, or a playground.

Kat 12:50

I feel like that's sort of underscores that that idea of like, colonies for one thing versus another thing, like the way people view the utility of colonies.

Cathy 12:59

Yeah, and one thing to remember is that most of the population that are on the colonies are technicians and workers. So it's already built in, I think, to their history.

Caitlin 13:11

So one thing that came to mind for me was that we know the colonies are mostly laborers, and mostly people who are working very hard to stay alive in this very precarious space. But they need that entertainment, they need that fun in order to actually do their jobs. Whereas like Quatre's model, besides destroying the entire colonies, has been is now to reject anything to do with that, like, glorious joy of life. Like he's now like, switched entirely to being like, No, we only need war, we only need destruction, we only need work. I think it's also very poignant, because like he must have grown up in the colonies, he must have gone to places like that.

Mallory 13:53

But it felt out of character from the few, the previous episodes where he spends a lot of time saying like, but we were good to them. We we gave all these resources, we help people live and we wanted them to be happy and all of that, like we shared our resources and our wealth. And now he's like, Oh, they don't need these, like small pleasures! A Ferris wheel? Get out of here.

Caitlin 14:15

Right. I think that's, I think that's exactly why this is the form his psychosis has taken. It's because he has this idea that his family really helped the colonists and like made their lives better. And now now that he's entered his like, crazy mode, which I love, that he's like, No, we don't need to help them. We all, I don't care about them anymore.

Cathy 14:35

I love that scene where he rampages through the colonies and Caitlin knows that we had just finished watching Shin Godzilla. And

Kat 14:44

Oh!

Mallory 14:44

Mmm.

Cathy 14:45

- and this scene was extremely Godzilla-esque, right like, it really shows the sheer power and horror of how large the Gundams are and what they can do when you just want to be recklessly brutal and recklessly violent on anything and it is really, it's really interesting the kind of like care they take with this scene. Everything's quiet, there's no people, you just see this Gundam like, crushing things slowly, like destroying them, because Quatre wants to destroy them. And it's really good.

Caitlin 15:21

You get really good shots of the colony's slope because like, those the colonies are curved and this is one of the distinctive things that makes you know that they're in a colony is that you can see like the city like rising up behind you because it's, it's circular or it's a loop. And so you get this sort of like extremely enclosed space that like because the colonies are shaped the way they are, it, it feels like they're, they're both spacious and claustrophobic. And so that that giant Gundam being there really interrupts the space. It really like, disrupts the perspective.

Kat 15:42

The animation overall, was I think, better. It like, it seems like slowly the budget is increasing, or... Everybody looked great enough.

Caitlin 16:04

It's Episode 24ish. So they're, this is like the season finale. Sort of.

Kat 16:10

Oh, true.

Mallory 16:11

Right. So they're pulling out all the stops.

Caitlin 16:12

Yeah, so they've saved money for this.

Cathy 16:15

I think a really fun thing about Episode 24, especially the animation, is I think how carefully they construct it. Like you start off with this frame of what you slowly realize is a colony outpost, and it looks like this hideous floating horror thing with like tubes coming out of it and it's like vaguely alien and vaguely tentacled. And then this menacing shadow comes and you know, you can tell immediately that it's Wing Gundam. But because you don't see into the cockpit like you almost always do when a Gundam appears on screen, you don't know who's in it, and it feels very supernatural? like a vengeful ghost? And then it destroys this outpost. You spend that whole time as the audience thinking, Who is it? Who is it, it can't be Heero, you know, it's not Heero. And then that wonderful shot of Quatre, the utter silence as he breathes, and then they slowly reveal his eye. Like, that... Not only was the animation amazing, but just like this cinematic quality of that opening sequence. It just felt like a slasher film. It was so good,

Caitlin 17:22

So good.

Mallory 17:23

The pacing of that scene is so good. Like, I had really no idea what to expect. So when you see like the shuttle approaching, and then the music starts and it transforms into a Gundam and you're like, Oh my god, this is so cool! I'm 31 years old and this is still so cool to me! This would have blown my mind.

Caitlin 17:45

Did you know about like the Quatre-goes-crazy plot.

Mallory 17:48

I did know that Quatre has a turn but I didn't know that he goes crazy.

Kat 17:53

We managed to not spoil it this entire time.

Caitlin 17:56

That's really exciting.

Mallory 17:57

Look, I thought he was dying of space tuberculosis, so.

Cathy 17:59

He could, he could still be dying of space tuberculous

Caitlin 18:03

I have convinced several people that that is canon. [laughter]

Mallory 18:08

So basically, we're just making up our own canon.

Caitlin 18:12

Yes, as we do in fanfiction as well. I do remember like, there being like a genre of fanfic that sort of talked about Quatre's like, crazy phase. But then a lot of the like basic, 3x4 stuff would, would sort of gloss over it. [laughs] Just because it's a little bit too dark to deal with, for your happy flute playing romances.

Mallory 18:36

I started reading one and just, I was like, Oh, no, this is too dark. I don't, this isn't the Quatre that I want, shoo. Not my Quatre. So I avoided those.

Caitlin 18:46

And it's too bad because there's a lot of good three times for evidence sort of in these episodes where you have like, yeah, Trowa's the one who really believes in Quatre. He's the one who says, "Oh, if it's Quatre, we're we're gonna to be okay. He's an ally. He's, you know, my boyfriend from the, from the desert." [laughter]

Mallory 19:04

Like, he just, he spends the whole first part of the episode just wanting to get to Quatre. Like, "I'm ready to go meet my space boyfriend."

Kat 19:12

"It has to be Quatre and he's going to be on our side, and he's going to help us defeat OZ and everything is going to be great!"

Mallory 19:18

And Heero has to be like "Oh, hold on. He just -- D-didn't you just see him destroy a colony? Like he might not be the dude you know. It's been a while since you play violins with him."

Caitlin 19:29

What's funny to me is that we know, the audience, we know that Quatre has gone crazy because of, probably because of what we saw with his dad and his sister and all of that. We sort of remember that. But nobody else has any has any awareness of that. Like did it not play on like, the news or on like the radio or anything, that this major like colony financer was killed in like a horrific terrorist incident where he self-destructed a colony or a satellite? Like nobody else knows.

Unknown Speaker 19:58

As it turns out his son is one of the five major terrorists that we consider the number one threat to the colony safety?

Caitlin 20:05

Yeah, it's like, it's like everything that happened in that situation is totally separate from the rest of the colonies. Right now.

Mallory 20:11

Right. But if OZ doesn't want people to know about it, then OZ just simply won't tell people about it. And so nobody would know.

Unknown Speaker 20:19

I think that Une would know and then maybe Trowa would know, right?

Mallory 20:24

Maybe Une is keeping it close

Kat 20:26

True.

Mallory 20:26

to the chest.

Caitlin 20:28

And so Zayeed Winner's sacrifice was all for nothing, which is what we thought when it happened.

Mallory 20:35

Completely unnoticed.

Caitlin 20:37

Yeah, nobody even knows.

Mallory 20:39

I had a question about a shot on screen where you see the.. each Gundam pilot matched with their engineer.

Cathy 20:48

Yes!

Mallory 20:48

And I couldn't tell, is that an OZ record? Is that just the show reminding me that Quatre is the only one of these four that is unaccounted for? Like I really couldn't tell.

Cathy 21:01

I think it's an OZ record, and what is really also funny about it is, I don't understand why they would know... I guess they matched each of the scientists to the Gundam they developed so that's how they're perfectly in number order? But it was, it was really interesting. It was another one of those moments that felt vaguely like horror-esque. You know, like when you're trying to find the killer and you go through and you like, find a yearbook or group picture and all the pictures have been slashed, and you leave just one.

Mallory 21:28

Oh my god yes!

Cathy 21:28

And that one is Quatre. [laughter] And like that's how I felt about that scene. [laughter]

Unknown Speaker 21:32

Oh my god, he's even like sent in the like specs for Sandrock, so he could put a little signature on it.

Caitlin 21:40

Yeah, it's clearly him. I don't think he's trying to cover that.

Cathy 21:44

No, no, no, he's not.

Caitlin 21:45

But they don't, they don't even know who he is. They don't know who the pilot of 04 is. Like that's the point, they don't have his picture.

Kat 21:52

They didn't realize that it was the Maguanac Corps.

Cathy 21:55

But I don't think they have a picture of Quatre... Which is kind of weird because I feel like shouldn't the son of the Winner family have a record somewhere?

Caitlin 22:04

I think they don't know that it's him. I think they don't know it's the son of the Winner family. Otherwise, they'd have the picture. He's the most prominent person out of the pilots. [laughter] He's the only one who had who would have existing photographs.

Kat 22:15

Well, you think somebody would have noticed Trowa Barton saying his name is Trowa Barton right since that family tree...

Mallory 22:21

Speaking of Trowa Barton though, I do want to talk about how he's the MVP of these episodes, because he's the only one doing anything of sort of strategic usefulness?

Kat 22:32

Okay, Duo tried

Mallory 22:33

Well Duo tries, yes.

Caitlin 22:35

Wufei tries!

Mallory 22:36

Okay,

Caitlin 22:37

I know that everybody is a Trowa fan. But let's, let's stop with the Trowa exceptionalism.

Mallory 22:44

Wow

Caitlin 22:44

Everybody is doing their best

Mallory 22:46

Trowa is in a spot where he like, he's in a high ranking spot in OZ, he is so trusted by Une that he gets Heero to be allowed to pilot the Mercurius because Trowa's going to be controlling him. And he's feeding the engineers information and like finding things out.

Caitlin 23:03

He's just lucked into that spot. And he's doing the best he can. Anyone would do the same in his position,

Mallory 23:09

But like, nobody else did that though.

Caitlin 23:12

Duo tried. [laughs]

Mallory 23:15

Well, very, unsuccessfully. Very stylishly, but unsuccessfully.

Unknown Speaker 23:19

Wufei's big plan was to get captured. [laughter]

Cathy 23:23

It worked!

Caitlin 23:25

Waitwaitwait, I think the capturing is an actual plan, like I feel like Wufei's received a mission from somebody. I was assuming that the scientists are still sending out missions to get them to all get captured, so they can give, give them their Gundams back,

Cathy 23:39

I think Wu Fei

Kat 23:41

No, Wufei got captured because he wanted to be taken to a place where he could destroy Treize.

Caitlin 23:46

I think that's just what he thinks, like he still had a mission, right? He was he was given some instructions.

Kat 23:52

I thought he was working on his own and sort of like, "Oh, well, this seems like a strategic place that I should be."

Cathy 23:57

I agree with Mallory, and that's why he's going around because remember, he attacks the Barge during Lady Une's weird thing.

Caitlin 24:03

Duo had a mission too, right? Duo it was given some instructions at some point.

Cathy 24:08

When?

Caitlin 24:08

I feel like Duo at least in these episodes, there was some line about how you're, Heero says to him something like, "Oh, you you tried to complete your mission."

Cathy 24:18

I think it was metaphorical. Like I think Heero means, "Oh, you came here with an objective. And you didn't meet it."

Kat 24:23

Agree.

Cathy 24:24

Yeah. And I always thought that was kind of funny, because I wasn't sure if he was being ironic, or if he was seriously asking this question. Like, I was wondering if it was like, "Well, clearly, you're here."

Caitlin 24:33

Wait, I definitely thought that somebody was manipulating them to get captured. Like I thought that that was, this was a plan.

Cathy 24:38

My understanding was that they're all there because they know that the lunar base is like a big manufacturing center and core for OZ.

Kat 24:45

For mobile dolls, yeah.

Caitlin 24:46

Right. No, I mean, like there's, so there's their choices. And they're there to blow up the lunar base in their minds, but they've received instructions about that from somebody and the real goal of those instructions was to get them in the same place so they could get back with their Gundam.

Kat 25:02

No.

Mallory 25:03

No.

Cathy 25:03

I disagree.

Caitlin 25:04

Okay, then they just really lucked into that.

Cathy 25:05

Yeah.

Cathy 25:06

I was assinging them much more strategic planning

Kat 25:08

'cause I don't even think there was like a full lunar base when Wufei got captured. He was literally just like, "Where might Treize be? This is a good try." But I think they're all independent actors who all... like Duo was there to destroy the base. I think Heero was there to kill the scientists.

Cathy 25:24

Yeah.

Kat 25:24

So they couldn't be forced into working for OZ.

Mallory 25:26

Exactly

Kat 25:26

He sort of assumed that's what Duo was trying to do. But Duo was just there to bomb the base.

Mallory 25:31

Right? And so his joke is, to him it's funny, like, "Oh, you came to do this too and you failed?"

Cathy 25:37

Yes exactly! [laughter]

Mallory 25:39

And Duo's like, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

Cathy 25:41

Well I thought it was really funny but I wasn't sure cuz he delivered the line so deadpan. Like, there was like no, there was like no joke emotions. Like it was just like, "you botched your mission. You tried to kill them. And you didn't." I was like, are you? Is this funny?

Kat 25:55

He's making a lot of like those jokes when Wufei's like, "Oh, do you think they're gonna let us test out the suits?" and he's like, "maybe as the target." [laughter]

Cathy 26:03

Oh god that's true, he's actually really funny.

Kat 26:05

The mysteries and vagaries of Heero Yuy.

Cathy 26:07

I really thought that I would have a better grasp on his character as like a 32 year old person but I'm watching this [laughs] and I'm still like, I feel like Duo in a fanfic like, "is he joking? Is he serious? Does he like me?"

Cathy 26:18

[laughter] Like that's how I feel about Heero in these two episodes.

Mallory 26:21

"What does that smirk mean?

Caitlin 26:24

Wait, I had one more Quatre point, which was that his voice actress who is Orikasa Ai was really crushing it these episodes.

Cathy 26:32

Yes!

Mallory 26:33

Yeah!

Caitlin 26:34

This sort of like dead cheerful baby voice? He sounds really innocent and pure. But also, like he's about to kill a bunch of people.

Cathy 26:42

Yes. And especially there is a line where he says, "Oh, you're afraid of dying, aren't you?" Which was so chilling.

Mallory 26:52

I do want to talk about this because last episode, I brought up that there's a lot of talk of the noble sacrifice. And I feel like in these episodes, there's just, it is hammered over and over and over, you have to be willing to die for your mission. You shouldn't be afraid of dying, or why the hell are you fighting? It just seems like there's just this constant sort of theme of being willing to lay down your life for "the mission," you know, at the back of my mind, like, what are we teaching kids that you should be willing to die for your work and your job? [laughter]

Kat 27:31

Like, bringing some feelings to this episode.

Mallory 27:34

Like maybe I'm projecting here, but

Caitlin 27:35

Do you mean like Japanese children watching the show or like the kids in Gundam?

Mallory 27:40

No I mean, like, in general, what is the message that this show is sending to kids? You know, because I talk a lot about how I think I would have related to Heero being like, "oh, I've messed up now I'm going to die." But like, that isn't really healthy. I guess I'm I'm just wrestling with this as the show goes on because I keep noticing it over and over the idea of the noble sacrifice and how that is like something that you should be willing to do if you are passionate enough, or you feel enough for your cause.

Kat 28:14

It's also very tied into the idea of being like a noble warrior, which keeps coming up, it's like, to me, those two things are very intertwined. And when we hear like Heero going, like, "space is crazy, I'll just keep fighting and believing in myself." It's not that he will believe in himself, he will keep fighting.

Caitlin 28:34

I think that it's trying to show that this is the attitude you develop in war. That fostering these beliefs in young child soldiers is bad, and ultimately leads to a society that just perpetuates war because it's the only thing that the people involved can understand. And that ultimately, the goal of the show is to find a way out of that thing. That's the common Gundam universe theme is this, like, how the war machine like perpetuates itself and creates like this situation where you can never escape like an eternal war. I think it draws a lot on currents of like Japanese pacifism, and the idea of like, going against the Japanese militaristic approach of like, you must sacrifice everything for the country, for Japan. In order to like be a true citizen, you have to give up everything. Because that's very much like the military propaganda that was fed to the citizens during World War II and that feeds into the creation of the original Gundam and gets sort of like complicated, watered down in some ways, but also sort of like typified? :ike turned into a such like a, like a rote recitation of a theme in later versions of Gundam that it's not always fully articulated. So I think Gundam Wing is sort of in between those where it's like, it's dealing with that like sacrificial concept. I think it wants to say, "No, there's a better way." But we haven't yet gotten to the point where it's like, "there is a better way."

Cathy 30:15

The term that I keep coming back to is like the Japanese concept of junjou, which is like sort of pure-hearted, like a pseudo naive kind of feeling. A lot of child characters in this show are just so pure-hearted, that they don't have any way out, to what Caitlin was saying, other than just throwing their bodies and their lives into it? Like they're given no mechanisms to have any other agency or express their feelings or be able to achieve the goals that they want. And they're so pure of heart that they get essentially taken advantage of, and warped into thinking that the only way into it is to sacrifice their bodies. And I think like Hilde is a great example of this here and I think that's also why Duo says to her, "that you remind me a lot of when I first came down to earth," because when he first came down to earth, the only thing he felt like he had was his ability to pilot this Gundam and sacrifice him and his Gundam to serve the cause of why he dropped as part of Operation Meteor, and Hilde is the same way, you know, she feels like the only way that she can solve solve the issue with the colonies is essentially to throw herself into this war machine and give her whole life to it because what else does she have

Kat 31:25

When Hilde at the end defects, but then says the same thing like, "I am ready to die for my cause," she still has this enthusiasm and has decided that there could be a different path but that different path is still just fighting? which I like. I mean, I like that it's it's complicated and thorny

Cathy 31:41

To me, I don't really know if the die or not dying is good or bad. Like I don't know if the show is actually trying to comment on that at all. It's almost just like a shorthand to what you're saying Caitlin earlier ,to demonstrate that they really care about pacifism. Like that's really what this whole "I'm willing to die for my cause" thing is trying to say.

Caitlin 31:58

No, I think this is a really good point. Like a lot of it is like the show performing these sort of like typical archetypes, these typical themes in a way that the fans will recognize.

Kat 32:11

So I did want to talk about 2x5, only because we've been talking about 2x5 this whole time

Caitlin 32:17

Yes

Kat 32:17

And this the first time they've really gotten to hang out.

Caitlin 32:19

There's very little interaction you guys. I feel like I live in like a desert where I am just fantasizing 2x5, like did I hallucinate the whole thing?

Mallory 32:29

Yeah, it, was it a mirage?

Cathy 32:30

I had that exact same feeling, and then I remembered that this bit actually continues on and we are actually thinking of stuff that happens in Episode 25, so

Caitlin 32:39

Yeah

Cathy 32:40

there's for next time.

Caitlin 32:42

Let's rehearse the 2x5 section that we got, which is Duo and Wufei are trapped in a cell together, while Heero and Trowa are going to do things, like, that's a fic!

Mallory 32:53

As they're running out of air!

Caitlin 32:55

Yes!

Mallory 32:55

And Duo is complaining and panicking and Wufei is just like, "I need to shut you up and the only way to shut you up is to kiss you." That's what happened after the cutscene.

Cathy 33:04

Yeah, that's actually what happened [crosstalk, laughter]

Cathy 33:05

That happened in the episode.

Caitlin 33:06

I remember that.

Kat 33:07

Yeah, you're actually psychic. Wow.

Caitlin 33:11

It's just good. They're, they're a good pairing because Wufei's kind of an ass

Kat 33:16

Well Duo looked amazing. And it was really nice to see them hang out. His braid: great. Getting beat to shit: great.

Caitlin 33:24

Duo's voice actor Seki Toshihiko: really great these episodes, very charming [crosstalk]

Caitlin 33:25

Wufei's voice actor's also very good I think and I think that he's underrated. Ishino Ryuzou, I think.

Cathy 33:33

I think he's amazing, because you can tell, he's radiating in every single second of his lines, "Shut up Duo," but never actually says it.

Caitlin 33:45

And then I also found out that Midorikawa Hikaru who plays Heero had originally auditioned for Wufei.

Cathy 33:52

Oh that's interesting.

Caitlin 33:53

Which I think would have been maybe a misfit. He auditioned for both Wufei and for Heero, but he didn't think that he'd get the lead role.

Kat 34:01

I think we're now at the point where it's time to pivot.

Caitlin 34:04

Yes

Kat 34:05

to this podcast's fandom artifact. So Quatre flipping out and blowing stuff up. And then sort of dealing/not dealing with his trauma in the middle of space makes its way into Toonami promo, which was haunting me until Cathy came through and knew exactly which one I was talking about, so. You've heard us talk about the Toonami promos and commercials before on the podcast so I'm gonna kinda split this up into one, there's the pre-airing, like two and a half minute trailer:

Toonami Promo 34:40

[rocket engine noises, space noises] In the distant future, mankind has reached the stars, but the galaxy is troubled.

Kat 34:48

[the commercial is still playing quietly, you can hear yelling and more narration] Which was like so popular that Bandai took it to use to promote it in Japan. And they were like, so happy with how like the Toonami people created the promos for it that they were like, yeah, you can run some other Gundam too.

Toonami Promo 35:02

[The sound of a Gundam laser weapon] Narrator: Battles are waged with mobile suits, the key to military dominance. [the commercial fades but is still playing quietly, you can hear muffled narration and sound effects]

Kat 35:14

People have managed to remaster a lot of the Toonami bunkers and stuff because anime nostalgia cannot be beaten.

Caitlin 35:14

That's what runs this podcast.

Kat 35:24

[the beginning of another promo begins, quietly underneath] It's 100% true. But the promo that I was thinking about was not the long promo, but it was called "Spaces is the Place."

Toonami Promo 35:25

[lo-fi beats begin, with a guitar riff] Narrator: Human beings leave Earth.

Toonami Promo 35:27

Quatre: To outer space, every one of us! [fades but contious to play, the music audible]

Kat 35:29

And it's of part of a series of promos that Toonami did that sort of combined shots from different shows, to kind of create themes.

Toonami Promo 35:30

Women's voice: It'll be, it'll be dangerous

Toonami Promo 35:30

Lady Une: Commence operation!

Toonami Promo 35:31

Man's voice: We'll commence operation in six seconds [?]

Kat 35:32

But Cathy, you have some good thoughts on it so I want you to talk about Space is the Place.

Cathy 35:46

[promo continues to play -- battle noises and yelling over more low-fi music] Well, so this should really go in the canon of anime music videos. I don't think we talked about it enough. I really wish we knew who edited it, because it's just this perfect pairing of all these disparate stories to like form this one coherence, really cool narrative that manages to say something without ever saying anything. [laughs]

Cathy 36:08

And they have that moment with Quatre breathing.

Toonami Promo 36:19

[Quatre panting heavily, a low thrum the only other sound]

Cathy 36:20

And I have never forgotten it.

Caitlin 36:21

[low music continues with long chords played by brass instruments, then speaking] What ,what it's basically like, what this reads to me as is like they have like, it's, the characters are essentially Gundam characters, and they fleshed out the Gundam Wing world with all these other like space shots. So it's addressing our complaint that we don't get enough space colony [laughs] in Gundam Wing, like it's like an it's like an alternate universe vid where they've like created more of a, of a world around a particular set of characters.

Mallory 36:51

Yeah, I mean, I like them because, you know, as a kid watching Toonami, but not really ever catching those shows, because that's just not where I was, like, I saw those promos a lot. And they told me exactly what I needed to know, but actually didn't tell me anything about the show at all.

Caitlin 37:08

Yes!

Mallory 37:09

Like absolutely nothing. But it left me with a really good impression of what Gundam Wing was like.

Caitlin 37:15

One of the things that is like, kind of a kind of an issue in, like Media Studies, film studies, like trying to analyze film or anime or TV shows as texts is that when you analyze them in isolation from their viewing contexts, you lose a lot of what was going on in terms of their interpretation. So like, I mean, with film, obviously, you can talk about the audience and going into theater and the theatrical space. But with TV, you especially lose this sort of programming flow is like the like, the concept that's often brought up. It's like this idea that you have programs moving into each other. With Toonami, you have a block of programming, so there's all this marketing around the block. You lose the commercials. So it's very hard to sort of like, analyze a show in isolation, which is why I'm glad we talk about things like Toonami's Space is the Place because it's part of it's part of the context of how we were watching it, and how we watch TV, TV back then.

Cathy 38:16

And for those of you who didn't watch the Toonami block, you know, the host of Toonami was, [sigh] it was either an alien or

Caitlin 38:23

TOM

Cathy 38:23

TOM, I don't know what TOM

Cathy 38:25

He was a robot.

Cathy 38:25

was a robot or an alien or something like that. And

Kat 38:28

He was a robot, he lived in a space station.

Cathy 38:29

Yes. And so that's the other thing about Space is the Place is that it wasn't just about the shows that were on Toonami, in a way it was discussing

Caitlin 38:38

Yeah

Cathy 38:38

the whole meta universe of Toonami. And the story behind Toonami. I mean, rather famously in around 2000, they had an invader of the total immersion event come in and kill TOM.

Caitlin 38:52

Yes!

Cathy 38:52

And so we had a new host TOM II, so this whole idea of like Space is the Place, going into space, discovering these new things, you know, that that was speaking to the cohesiveness of that whole Toonami universe that we were living in as we watched it if you caught that block while it was broadcasting on TV. so when I watched this, you know, I'm not only seeing Gundam Wing, I am seeing all these other series and that host and his voice and the animation at that time.

Kat 39:23

Shout out to the voice of TOM who is Steven Blum who is a great American voice actor

Mallory 39:29

Yes,

Kat 39:29

Spike Spiegel.

Caitlin 39:30

Always been great. These extra programming touches like Tom, like the space station, like these music videos. They not only were they like, absorbing us in a world that we continue to want to see to keep us watching. But it also always signaled to me that there were like, fans behind the construction? Like at the very least sci fi fans, if not explicitly just anime fans.

Kat 39:56

There's a good interview on IGN that came out this year with Jason DeMarco, who is, he's currently the Senior Vice President and creative director for Adult Swim. But at the time, he was working for Toonami and he was the one who wrote and cut the trailer before Gundam Wing aired. And he wanted to create like a cinematic film trailer, like, kind of elevate it from what they were doing to something that was really like epic. And he's definitely a giant robot anime fan. I will also link this interview, but I think it's really interesting to see kind of the fans that were working in the background, he talks about how you have to get fansubs at conventions and stuff. So you know, he's, he's got that sort of similar anime background. He also talks a little bit about how they had to edit Gundam Wing for the daytime block and how the unedited version was sort of the prequel to the Adult Swim block. [quiet midi music of "Just Communication" beginning to play] So Toonami itself changed a lot about the whole environment of animation and how that's played on television, I think in America. [midi drum break as the volume increases.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

#gundam wing #mobile suit gundam #gundam #anime nostalgia #anime podcast #90s anime #untitled tallgeese podcast #episode 12 #transcripts

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the--sad--hatter · 6 years ago

Text

Name Calling (34)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION - In which the ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on how much you would enjoy it.

Current Word Count - 95,032

MASTERLIST

Moodboard by @talesofakindredspirit

Chapter Thirty Four - Starkcation

On the bright side you were the golden girl of the international media and had been given a medal of some kind by the Spanish Government for dismantling Los Charlínes, one of the major Galician Mafia Clans.

On the less bright side, you had three bullet wounds a broken wrist, a hairline fracture in your skull and the worst hangover known to mankind. The UN were furious with you for your unsanctioned self-appointed mission despite it’s success and you were currently sat on a Private Plane across from your extremely displeased father.

You tried to sit up and grab the glass of water but every time you moved half an inch you just ended up groaning in pain and/or throwing up.

“Help?” You muttered pathetically at Tony.

You hadn’t really needed his help or to have him fly all the way to Spain in a panic but Wade had convinced you it was a great idea. Your drunken self had agreed and paused in the middle of a shoot-out with forty odd mafia goons to phone Tony and tell him you were in trouble. By the time he arrived you were holed up in the American Consulate building being congratulated for your work by the Spanish Prime Minister and trying not to throw up into a waste-paper basket.

“I told you I needed space. You really think acting out like this is going to make things better?” Tony snapped at you as he pushed the water within reach.

You guzzled it down and collapsed back in your seat with a whimper.

“I * hiccup* missed you.” You muttered.

“You went on a killing spree with a mercenary whilst you were drunk, without any kind of back-up, without informing anyone where you were and you did it in a foreign country.” He ranted.

“Well when you say it like that it just sounds impressive.” You retorted.

“It’s… a little impressive.” He begrudgingly admitted.

“But it was dangerous, foolhardy and ill thought out and now I sound like Capsicle so thank you for that!” He continued.

“I just wanted to have fun, I needed to have fun and feel good feelings but I realised no matter how hard I try it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t love me anymore.” You said weepily.

There was a slight possibility you were still drunk.

“I can’t love you if you’re dead! If this had gone badly you’d be floating in the ocean right now as shark bait!” Tony yelled and you winced at the volume.

“But I won. Well we did, Wade helped. He got all the money and I got all the credit. There’s a country with a lot less crime going on, there’s less drugs being intentionally shipped, we get to spend quality time together and I have a pet donkey! There’s no downside.” You insisted.

There was in fact a donkey in the cargo bay of the ship, gifted to you by a very grateful family who’s son had been taken by the mafia a few years prior. His name was Mr Donkeypool and Tony had to pull some strings so you could take him back to the US where he was going to live on the Barton farm since Laura had happily agreed to take him in.

“No downside? You’ve got so many bullet holes in you you’re practically swiss!” He pointed out.

“I’ll heal.” You pouted.

“You’re too much like me, I can’t argue with you.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Does that mean you forgive me?” You asked hopefully.

“For risking The Accords and international politics? Yes. For falling in love with the 100 year old brainwashed assassin who orphaned me? I’m trying, I really am.” He admitted.

“I know you need time, I do. But do you have to ignore me? I won’t rub me and Bucky in your face, I promise but please don’t push me away.” You begged.

Tony looked guilty and reached over to slowly adjust your seat so you were lying down.

“Get some sleep Kit Kat, you need it. We’ll talk more once we’ve landed.” He instructed you.

You were drunk and hungover at the same time, in massive amounts of pain and emotionally and physically exhausted. You didn’t have to be told twice. Your breathing evened out quickly and Tony watched your face smooth over as you fell asleep.

Maybe pushing you away wasn’t the best idea. He couldn’t face you and Barnes but maybe he didn’t have to just yet. Secretary Ross needed time to cool off and you needed some R&R away from the buzzing public while you healed. He pulled out his phone and started making arrangements.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tony gently shook you awake as the plane a few hours later.

“We’re landing Kit Kat.” He warned you.

The sun was streaming through the windows and you blinked blearily, shifting to check your pain levels. You were stiff as hell and your mouth felt like dry moulded over cardboard but you had healed a little bit. You’d gone from death’s door the death’s driveway so it was an improvement at least.

The plane tilted as it began it descent and the pilot spoke over the intercom.

“Good morning Mr Stark, Miss Stark. We’ve begun our descent and will arrive at Van Nuys Airport shortly.” He said.

“Where?” You asked groggily.

“We’re in Malibu, you haven’t been to the New House I had built here yet and you need a few days for your injuries to heal.” Tony explained.

“So we aren’t in New York?” You asked, puzzled.

“No we’re in Malibu.” He repeated, shaking his head at you and handing you an espresso.

“Why?” You asked.

“For Gods sake… We’re here to have a vacation.” He said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh. OH! Really? We? As in you’re staying?” You asked excitedly.

“Well I’m not leaving you alone in my beach-front mansion, you’ll probably invite every morally dubious individual in the city over and throw a rager.” He snarked.

You ignored the sass and grinned happily at him.

“I would never do that, not without inviting you anyway.” You offered.

“No parties, can’t believe I’m saying that. Pepper landed a couple of hours ago and will meet us at the house. This will be a peaceful family bonding holiday. With lots of booze. For me, you’re being dried out.” He informed you.

You couldn’t care less, you were going to get to spend a few days with Tony and Pepper. Pain aside, this was the best news ever.

When the plane landed Tony had to help you hobble off it and down the stairs and as he guided you across the tarmac you decided there was something magical about the sky in Malibu, it was so blue. You barely had a chance to see it as Tony ushered you both into the waiting car but he did put the top down for you as he drove you both to his house.

Mr Donkeypool was in good hands he assured you, he was being transported to the house and he was going to be a beach Donkey for a few days. Tony promised he’d be happy in Malibu and he’d hired someone to look after him until it was time to send him to the farm.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After you washed the jet lag off in the gigantic en suite shower you wandered back into your bedroom. Pepper had set out a sundress on the bed for you in your favourite colour and you smiled at the gift. Pepper had a penchant for spoiling you.

You slipped it on, mindful of your plasters and bandages and after gently rotating your wrist you decided you could get away without rewrapping it. It was fairly healed by now.

You happily slid down the bannister and joined Tony and Pepper on the back deck where luch had been set up.

“There you are sweetheart, how was your shower?” Pepper asked you, passing you a glass of orange juice.

“Great! I’ll enjoy it more when I’m not doing weird acrobatics to keep my bandages dry though.” You admitted.

“Maybe try not getting shot next time.” Tony snorted.

“This coming from the man who flew a nuke through an alien wormhole.” Pepper berated him and you smirked.

“Wait how did this become about me?” Tony asked, perplexed.

“Isn’t everything?” You quipped and he toasted you in agreement.

“If you’re feeling up to it we were going to take a walk on the beach after lunch.” Pepper informed you.

“I’m ready, I’ve never been to the beach!” You admitted excitedly.

“You two have fun, I’m going Jet Skiing.” Tony informed you both.

“Tony...” Pepper warned.

“Don’t worry, Kit Kat is going to help me test the new repulsor gauntlet on the beach later.” He assured her.

You choked on the bite of fruit salad you’d just swallowed.

“I am?” You asked.

“Yip. I’ll throw stuff and you can shoot it. It’ll be fun.” He said.

“And perfectly safe dear.” He told Pepper confidently.

Tony and Pepper continued to affectionately bicker throughout lunch, you and Pepper teaming up to make fun of him every few minutes.

“That’s it, I’m leaving while I still have a shred of ego intact.” Tony sulked, kissing you both on the cheek.

“Want to take that walk now?” Pepper asked you and you nodded.

She linked her arm with yours since you were still a little unsteady as you both casually strolled along the sandy beach.

It was beautiful and calming and while you missed Bucky terribly (He was sending you sad face emoji’s every half hour and you were going to kill whoever taught him how to use emoji’s) you found you were strangely happy. You just weren’t you when you didn’t have Tony.

“So you and Barnes?” Pepper asked, diving right in.

“I know, I picked the worst possible person to fall for.” You sighed, ready for her disappointment.

“I’m not sure you did. I remember how much you admired him before you even met him and how he inspired you to ask Tony if you could join the Avengers. I think you and Bucky have a connection, a unique way of understanding each other.” She admitted.

“You’re not mad at me because of the complications?” You asked her.

“What happened to Tony’s parents was in no way Sargent Barnes fault, he’s a good man. I admire him for trying to make amends for the things he was forced to do, it takes real bravery and strength. And maybe, this will help Tony finally see Bucky as someone other than his parents killer.” She said.

You were speechless. Pepper not only supported you, she saw Bucky the same way you did and saw hope for Tony and Bucky’s relationship.

“Thank you.” You told her earnestly, holding her a little closer as you walked.

“If he hurts you though, it won’t be Tony he has to be afraid of.” She warned and you laughed, even though you quite believed her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was the same scene he had watched on a grainy video in Sibera but this time he was there, frozen and unable to do anything as his parents car was ran off the road. He watched the Soldier stalk over to the car and kill his parents, horrified and heartbroken but he couldn’t stop it.

“Dad… Help me.”

He turned slowly, in fear at the familiar voice. His daughter, his Kit Kat was sprawled across the road, covered in blood. He tried to go to her but he couldn’t move as The Soldier walked over to her.

She coughed weakly, reaching up to stroke The Soldiers face lovingly as he knelt down and placed his metal hand on her neck.

“Barnes, stop.” Tony croaked.

“I love you.” She said, to him or the Soldier he wasn’t sure.

The metal hand crushing her windpipe jerked to the side and her neck snapped with a sickening crunch. Her unseeing eyes looked straight through Tony.

Tony woke up covered in sweat. Pepper was sleeping soundly next to him and he quietly slipped out of the bed without disturbing her and left the room. The door to your room was cracked open and he peered through. The room was empty. His heart skipped a beat before he spotted your silhouette on the balcony and he walked over to join you.

“Can’t sleep?” He asked.

You’d had a long day, playing in the sun with him all afternoon after your walk with Pepper. You’d been exhausted at dinner and assumed you’d sleep through the night.

“Too much on my mind.” You admitted.

“Wanna go down to the lab and help me rewire the circuitry on the Jet Ski I crashed?” He offered.

“Sure.” You shrugged and followed him downstairs.

“Why are you awake?” You asked him.

“Too much on my mind.” He mimicked you.

“Touche” You muttered as you both entered the lab.

“So what’s eating you Kit Kat?” He snorted at his own dad joke.

“Just nervous about my first session at Xavier’s. It’s straight after we go home.” You admitted.

“Why would you be nervous about having a telepath poking around in your brain?” He asked sarcastically.

Why indeed. What was lurking in your subconscious was weighing heavily on your mind, no pun intended and you wished you could discuss it with somebody.

“Dad I...”

You almost told him. You wanted to. But how could you tell him that the monster within you was one of your own making? That there was a very real part of you that wanted to destroy the world. That deep down in your soul, you were evil.

“I know Kit Kat. I know.” He said.

You frowned and he sighed heavily.

“There’s a video in The Vernichtung Files from the one time Docherty managed to call Vernichtung to the surface. Since I saw it, on some level I’ve known the truth since I found you. It wasn’t until the Professor told me you needed his help to make yourself whole again that I worked it out though.” He admitted.

“You know what Vernichtung is?”

“Yes sweetheart, it’s you.”

“How did you know?”

“Genius remember?” he snorted.

“You aren’t afraid of me, you don’t hate me?” You asked fearfully.

“I’ve never met anyone without a dark side. The difference is you literally locked yours away to keep it contained, that doesn’t make you evil, that makes you stronger than most people.” He assured you.

“But my Dark side wants to kill people!” You insisted.

“And my good side created a killer robot and sold weapons of mass destruction. Nobody is perfect, especially those of us with power. Don’t mistake your capability for destruction with being a bad person. The fact is you’re the same as everyone else except for the fact you fight harder than most. Being a good person is a choice and you went through hell to stick to that choice.” He rebutted.

Your eyes teared up. Tony knew the worst parts of you and loved you anyway, more than that he saw the good in it that you couldn’t. You tried to stifle a sob by burying your face into his shoulder and you felt him put his arm around you.

“No matter what happens kid, I’m proud of you. Always will be.” He assured you.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

STARKCATION

The hottest new Hero on the block is taking a much deserved vacation in Malibu after her busy week.

Deathwave hasn’t been on the scene for long but she’s already proving herself to be a force to be reckoned with. After her debut taking down aliens in the Capital it was revealed that the mysterious hero was actually the youngest Stark and a Secret Avenger, one responsible for helping the Secretary Of State save millions of lives and facilitating the arrest Benjamin Newlands.

Her tragic backstory was then revealed and hearts around the world broke as they read about the harrowing upbringing of the mutant know as ‘Vernichtung’. Raised by what can only be described as a mad scientist the young mutant was primed to end the world and live up to her namesake but instead chose to become a symbol of goodness and hope.

Fans around the world have accepted her into their hearts and while there are naysayers and those who believe she poses a threat, the general consensus is that the heroine is the symbol of strength and hope we all need. Proving that people can be what they chose and not what they are told, we our the masters of out own fate.

Seen earlier today walking along the beach with billionaire superhero Tony Stark, it seems the hero on everyone’s minds is enjoying some family time after her recent victory in Spain. We can only assume her father is as proud of her as the general public is since the family are celebrating in the sun.

“She’s almost ready.” He said with a vicious grin after reading the article.

“Doctor?”

“Everything is proceeding as I hoped. Vernichtung will soon learn her final lesson. The more she gives in to hope and happiness, the easier it is for me to break her.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The drunken shenanigans with Deadpool were left out for several reasons...

It just seemed funnier to see the aftermath.

I'm in too deep a sad funk to write a funny drunk chapter. I'm starting to wrap up this fic now, so there are several chapters left but we are in the home stretch now. I was informed that longer fics can put readers off so I'm quitting while I'm ahead, before anyone gets too bored. As long as people are still interested I'll still do sequels and one-shots though, but that is mostly up to you lovely folks!

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first @thejourneyneverendsx @thelostallycat @inquisitor-selvala @the-corruptor @iovher @kendrawr-kitkat @phoenix-whiskey-tears @the--real-wombat @buckitybarnes @fairislesheets @angieptt @meganjonezzzz @dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty @memanda17 @krystallynx @theonelittleone @piscesbarnes @free-as-fishes @tarastudiesalot @captainamericasbeard @dropthepizza346 @jaynnanadrews @likes-to-smell-books @drdorkus @life-wanderer @metalarmlover @animegirlgeeky@jsmith509

#hattersmarvelverse #Bucky x Reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky x you #avengers x reader #dad tony stark #parent tony stark

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tragedybunny · 5 years ago

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The Blade’s Edge - A League of Legends Fanfiction - Chapter 2

They had a simple arrangement. She was the weapon to be used on his enemies. Things get more complicated when emotions bleed into what should simple. Now the two of them find themselves on the precipice of something that was entirely unexpected. Katarina/Swain

The edge of Noxus and Frejlord, the end of the world, how did I find myself in this godsfosaken place? Oh that’s right, he asked me to come, well ordered me to. Either way, I wouldn’t have refused, I know myself too well to even try to lie.

We set out from the Capitol in the company of several warbands, not enough for an invasion force. Our mission was strictly to make an alliance with the Avarosan tribe and their idealistic young Warmother. We show them the benefits of the grace of the Empire and they will fight our battles with the rest of the Northern Tribes for us.

We’d past the Iron Spike mountains and the Delverhold to settle into a nearly abandoned fort, the very last outpost of Noxus. Many good soldiers had died in Darkwill’s mad quest to bring the North to heel, and yet this was as far as any had managed to get. It felt world’s away from home, but really it was pittance compared to what he had desired. And it was not securely held at all. The tension among the soldiers became palpable as we travelled, knowing at any moment an attack could come out of the blinding whiteness that surrounded us.

I shook the snow from my cloak as I entered the worn doors into the hall of the small Keep that served as the central building of the fort. The rich black fur glittred as the candle light illuminated the tiny ice crystals. It had been a gift before we left, an offering to stifle my obvious annoyance at the whole endeavor.

I pause to take in the weather worn building, everything made of rough wood and stone, lit only by candles. A long table fills the space of the hall, a fire burning in the large hearth. The skeleton staff scurry to accommodate the officers we’ve brought with while the enlisted set up near the barracks outside. The hour is later than we planned and dark has fallen fully, tempers are suitably short all around.

I broke away from the general chaos and made for the stairs. My position at least guaranteed I’d be afforded private quarters. “My position.” I can’t help but laugh internally at the thought. What was my position - whore, concubine? That’s what they whisper in the Capitol. Really though, is it so far from the truth? One of the Officer’s staff show me to a room on one of the upper floors, tucked away down a small hall, with another room across from it.

The problem hadn’t started when I’d agreed to work for Jericho, or when I betrayed my family and killed my father. That was a resolution to conflict that had been long time coming, maybe it would’ve ended the same way without him. He simply forced things to their conclusion in way the benefited him.

I flop down on one of the least comfortable beds I’ve ever felt in my life, it feels heavenly though after the journey. I stretch and try to get my road weary muscles to relax.

The problem had started that first night though. I went to him for that promise of freedom he’d given, my life on my own terms, my family no longer allowed to shackle me. But I let my desire for him become entwined in what should have been business. Involuntarily I flashback to those maddened moments, his lips and hands on me, the way my body responded to him, smoldering desire erupting into an inferno. I realized too late I had given him a sense of ownership over me. And that had climaxed with his demand I take up residence in with him.

I’d been angry, angry he’d made it so obvious I was in his mind his property, angry that really, I had no choice. If you were the type in Noxus to need an assassin and know where to get one, chances are you would have heard who I worked for. There are no secrets in Noxus, not really. There wouldn’t be any trust in the Grand General’s “pet”. My only other choice, if you can call it a choice, would be to go back to mother and live as the dutiful daughter of the House. I’d been shackled again.

A knock at the door interrupts the pleasant haziness that’s settled in as I half dozed. I sigh and begin to sit up, I already know who it is. He doesn’t wait for my permission before the door swings open.

His presence is palpable and I feel it wash over me as soon as he takes a couple steps in. The sharp lines of his face bear a look of annoyance, not surprising given the delays today. Despite his years he’s still quite handsome with those classical looks and noble bearing.

“Kat, there you are. Settle in later, I have things I need to go over, join me.” That’s the other side of the problem, that desire for him was still there, tempering my anger. I decided to make the best of the situation for the time being and admittedly we’d fallen into a comfortable partnership over the last couple months.

“Fine.” I deliberately put on a taxed expression as I get up and stride toward him. I gasp as his hands catch me around the waist and feel a surge of excitement as he pins me against the wall.

“If you’d rather I leave you alone for awhile, you can say just say so.” His lips crush mine, hungry and insistent until I yield. He pulls away leaving me breathless, that pleasant heat building inside me.

“Well, since you asked so nicely how could I refuse.” I smirk, trying to exasperate him a little.

He ignores it and kisses my forehead. “Good girl.” I try not to bristle at the patronizing tone, I know it only encourages him.

He veritably drags across the hall to his room. Already a fire burns in the hearth and there are papers scattered across the battered desk that sits near it. I follow him over to it and quick glance tells me it’s all the intelligence reports on the Avarosans and their leader, Ashe from spies, mage scryers, and anyone willing to be paid to talk.

As he sits he suddenly pulls me down into his lap. I loop my arm around his neck to steady myself from the sudden shift.I realize I should not be privy to anything written here. I’ll admit to being pleased at the trust.

“Our recent reports indicate the girl is terrified we’re going to start a war. She doesn’t believe her people can withstand an actual invasion, and they still have to contend with the Winter’s Claw. What do you think should we press that fear or remain gracious and friendly?”

Of course he’s going to come to his own conclusion, and probably already has. But he fixes those dark eyes on me and waits for me to answer. I feel raw and exposed in the seconds that follow, more so than even in our most intimate moments. Tell me to kill and I’ll never hesitate, never fail, but I’m out of my depth when speaking on diplomacy and politics. And he knows it, which irritates me. I answer the first thought I have anyway. “You’ve said she seems to genuinely care for her people. Fear may bring her to the table, but promises of peace and security without being conquered will be long term motivators.”

“Perceptive.” I feel the unnatural warmth of his left hand on my hip. “I agree with that assessment.” He squeezes a bit and I involuntarily lean a little further into him.

He spends the next hour or so going through every scrap of information, even though I know he’s already done so several times, asking questions he’s already decided the answer on. We chat and banter back and forth a bit and several times he stops kisses neck or cheek, I run my hand through his hair and trace my fingers down the back of his neck.

Finally he sits back and takes a deep breath. I’ve never seen him look quite as tired as he does right now. A sudden, small pang of concern startles me. “You should get some sleep.” My voice is inexplicably soft. I kiss him lightly on the temple. “I’ll leave.”

He doesn’t move his arm from around me and sits silently for a moment, brow slightly creased. However, there’s no hesitation when he speaks “No, stay, sleep here.”

It takes a moment for the words to sink in. We have a rule about this as I was made acutely aware of before we left. I almost start in on a sarcastic reply but he looks weary enough that it dies on my tongue. “If you really want me to.”

“That is what I said, is it not?” His tone is light despite his words.

I get up and begin to strip away my heavy travelling clothes and extinguish most of the candles. I notice as he moves about undressing that his slight limp is worse. I don’t make it my business to ask questions about the demon, but I gathered it keeps him from feeling as much pain as he should from the old wounds. I wonder a bit about how he would be without it right now.

Everything is thrown into soft light and shadow by the glow of the last candle as I turn back the covers and settle on to the bed. He sits on the edge, removing the brace from his knee that he keeps carefully hidden under his clothes. He hisses slightly as the muscles in his back visibly stiffen. I move behind him and wrap my arms around waist, leaning my head against his back. My breath catches in my throat for a second. “Jericho, are you alright?”

He places a hand over mine. Time stops. For a moment everything feels different; softer, quiter. “I’m fine Kitten.” His words are so soft I barely even notice that damn nickname.

I let go and find my way under the covers. When he joins me after extinguishing the last candle I curl up next to and his arm wraps around me and pulls me closer. My pulse thunders. He kisses the top of my head and warmth spreads over the whole of me. Godsdamn it, no, I can’t let this happen. This is not what we are. I want to flee to the sanctuary of my own bed, to not feel my heart beating against my chest. Instead I put my arm around his waist and close my eyes, hoping sleep comes quick.

#katarina #swain/katarina #swain #League of Legends #jericho swain #katarina du couteau #lol swain #lol katarina #my fanfiction #blade of noxus #the blade's edge

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koishia-blog · 7 years ago

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So many ded games...

So for many people that has been around the moba community in the last weeks you’ll know it hasn’t been a very good time due to 2 of the mobas that, at least for me, had a great potential, closing in the following months: Paragon and Gigantic.

I wasn’t very invested in Paragon to be honest, but I really really liked Gigantic. The thing is I wanted to be a person that supported games that I felt had potential and, in part my idea of making youtube videos would be to do reviews of these lesser known mobas to raise awareness since these games were closed because their respective publishers pulled the plug due to a lack of a player base. I know, I know that I’m a new blog and barely anyone knows of my existence but everybody starts somewhere.

Anyway, I’m giving up on the youtube idea, after seeing so many games with potential, that I like, and feel like they deserve the effort not being able to make it to full release or being closed 4-6 months after their release. I don’t think I should put the effort into learning how to make videos, recording and editing things that are going to become irrelevant in less than a year.

In fact, I’m getting burned out of the moba genre lately, I don’t feel like playing the mainstream ones and I don’t feel like investing time in the small ones due to these previous reasons so that’s why I’m thinking of jumping straight into streaming. I have been running some tests lately, in fact, but more on that later on a new post.

For now, I want to write a memorial and pay respects (F) to these mobas that could have been great but publishers didn’t give them a chance

Dawngate

First we have Dawngate, a game developed by Waystone Games and published by EA, I mean, just seeing the publisher’s name already doomed them.

I remember finding this game by pure chance and seeing that the character design was interesting, and that they even had an artist support!

So I went to download it only to find that the servers were closing on that same day. Okaaay...

I went onto learn more about the game and everybody looked so crushed about it closing and they had so much praise for the game that made me feel sad that I couldn’t try it, but hey! I guess EA wanted to make a LoL killer and since this game couldn’t pull millions of players during beta they decided it wasn’t even worth trying. However, there seems to be some people trying to revive it so it’s something. We’ll see if EA allows it once they manage to release their own version.

Master x Master

Developed and published by NCSoft, Master x Master (MXM) was their attempt at doing a moba like Blizzard did with Heroes of the Storm, by grabbing characters from their other games along with some new ones.

While it’s true that I had some nostalgia feelings, especially with Kat the Cat as I was a human warlock back when I played Lineage 2, they can’t compare with characters created by Blizzard, characters that have been part of most gamers’ life while they grew up and that they’re even still relevant now.

Now the game itself had some interesting features. To start with, it was a mix of pve mmo and pvp and its main feature was that you chose 2 characters and could switch between them strategically to keep yourself alive. Pair a DPS assassin with a tank, for example, and you could deal damage to others then switch to tank if things went rough.

But of course, NCSoft had to get greedy, for a game that needed not one but 2 characters to play the game, and even more if you wanted to stay competitive, the price of them was very high. If you didn’t want to spend real money the only ways to obtain SOL (the ingame currency to buy characters) were: To level up your account, which gave 1 SOL per level, that being more and more difficult as your level was higher. Pve missions on the highest difficulty that had a chance of giving 1 SOL as a reward (but cost 1 SOL to go in) and login events. With most characters costing 7 or more SOL, along with the unstability of the servers and lag, led the community to complain and eventually start leaving the game. NCSoft didn’t do anything to fix their problems and 4 months after launch they decided to shut down the game and invest large quantities of money into paying Twitch streamers to promote their new Lineage 2 version for phones.

Paragon

As I said I don’t know much about Paragon. I played a bit against bots and that’s it, but I did read a bit on what happened to it and how it ended up dying.

Paragon, developed and published by Epic Games and released in 2016 was a take on a 3rd person moba, similar to Smite but with amazing realistic graphics. The map, designed to take advance of verticality made up for interesting gameplay compared to Smite, but also, said map design made for very long games (40 minutes average). In a time where people wanted to spend less time playing a match, and mobas like Heroes of the Storm were doing very well with their 20 minute average matches, Epic tried very hard to reduce the time of their matches, which led to a change of the map that the more hardcore part of the gamer base, that came from other long time match mobas such as LoL or Dota, didn’t like.

New players found the game very difficult to get into, especially its card system, and getting matched with and against a player base of hardcore gamers was very rough. At the same time, the attempts of Epic to make the game more casual for these new players angered the hardcore player base as it led the game to become more of a brawl than an strategic moba with, for example, towers not being a threat at all and becoming totally pointless. In short, Epic was trying to appease to a small amount of new players that weren’t staying, while not hearing the complains from their loyal veteran ones.

Eventually, Epic released Fortnite, a pve tower defense game that didn’t do very well until they decided to turn it into a battle royale and make it free, unlike Player Unknown Battlegrounds, another battle royale that was one of the most successful games at the moment. The incredible success of Fortnite made Epic start to shift the team of Paragon towards Fortnite, as Paragon wasn’t getting any revenue while Fortnite was getting plenty.

Epic, unable to keep changing a game in attempts to make everyone happy and the fact that their new game was making them rich, decided it was time to let the “old” Paragon game rest in peace and focus all the efforts on Fortnite. Only time will tell if betting everything on Fortnite is a good idea or if it will die once the battle royale trend ends.

Gigantic

To me, Gigantic is the saddest story of them all, and it hurts me deeply to see it go. The art style, the character design, the tiny bits of lore, the gameplay, the smoothnes and funny animations were amazing. As someone that can’t get into Overwatch, since I don’t like the first person view in competitive games, Gigantic was perfect. So what went wrong with a game that had so many good things? Everything.

Gigantic was developed by Motiga, a small indie studio. Wanting to make the game something big they looked for investors and made a deal with Microsoft. Microsoft just released Windows 10 and took Gigantic as one of their exclusive release games. Most gamers interested during that time forgot about Gigantic since they didn’t own an Xbox or didn’t want to change to Windows 10 (myself included) which reduced the potential player base by a lot.

Eventually, they could drop the Microsoft deal and got Perfect World Entertainment (PWE) as their new publisher, which opened the game for all PC gamers and not only those with Windows 10, even though the 6 GB minimum of RAM required made a lot of interested players unable to play.

The game had almost no advertisement during launch, most of the people that could have been interested didn’t get into the game thinking it still was a Microsoft and Windows 10 exclusive. There was also bugs and features that Motiga’s developers, still a relatively small studio, couldn’t solve, as well as not being able to reduce the RAM requirements to 4 GB to open accessibility to more players. Motiga started becoming smaller and smaller until they sold the game completely to PWE. PWE did nothing to promote, advertise or support their newly acquired game and only kept a handful of developers to sustain it. 2 months after acquiring Gigantic they announced they were closing it.

A game with truly a lot of potential, dying because of a greedy publisher that did nothing to advertise it and a small studio that couldn’t solve the technical issues and bugs that the game had.

While there are many mobas around I don’t find anything close to what Gigantic was. It makes me sad just to think I won’t be able to play anymore characters like Pakko, a cute and playful giant,

or Aisling, a little girl that summoned the ghost of her father to fight along her, to name a couple favourites of mine.

Also the fact that, unlike most mobas, where you defend a nexus or core that is just a structure, on Gigantic you defended a guardian that was either a giant griffon or a serpent, and seeing them flying over the battleground during the match and attack each other during rampage mode always gave me the chills.

Goodbye Gigantic...I wish you would have lasted long enough for me to be able to play with my boyfriend that couldn’t play because of the RAM requirements...

Special mention: Hyper Universe

This game is not dead yet but after all these disappointments I can see the signs leading into it.

Hyper Universe is being published by Nexon, a company with a very bad reputation and known for dropping other games, so to start with, that’s not good.

The game was released as a paid early access on autumn 2017. The player base was very small, as not many people wanted to pay for early access on a really not well known game. Sure, that access included a pack of heroes and their respective equipment but people were hesitant to spend money on a moba that’s going to be free to play in the future and with lots of negative reviews due to the censorship.

Ah...the censorship, that alone would make for pages of discussion but I’m going to keep it simple. Hyper Universe has a very sexualized female design on most of their characters so the Korean branch, worried about how the western audience would take it, they censored the splash art of most females and got rid of the jiggle physics in game. As for how bad the censorship is? Judge yourselves:

Yeah...The thing is that no one didn’t even notice the censorship until someone pointed it out and then a storm of complaints started with people demanding to go back to the original art, thing that Nexon didn’t want to and in fact, “censored” the Korean version of the game as well so no one could say that there was differences between both versions.

What I think about all this? An awful PR move, the censorship is so meaningless they might as well have kept the original art in and avoided all the negative reviews and players leaving because “the company doesn’t listen to what the community wants”, and if someone was offended by the non-censored version they were still going to be offended by the censored one. Personally, I like the censored version better as it seems slightly more realistic but that’s personal preference. What I really look for in a game is its gameplay even though character design, as someone that likes art, matters a lot. It’s true that a game that is centered on making all women sexy doesn’t tell me much but I can say that the art itself, as in technique and beauty appeal is great. Anyway enough of that, let’s move into the gameplay.

The gameplay is a 2D side scrolling moba, even though they want to call it “action brawler” where you have a base, several towers, minions, and a jungle. Its defining factor is that the map is vertical and you move through lanes and the jungle by using ladders. The controls are very similar to a fighting game and can be played by using a controller as well.

Overall, innovative gameplay and ideas in a game that’s going to die because the publisher is going to shut it down due to a lack of player base. With an average of 20 people online during early access, 2 thousand people when it became free to play on January 17th 2018 and less than 1 thousand nowadays, it’s going to be a matter of time when Nexon decides it’s not profitable anymore. I wish I was wrong, but I’ve seen this pattern too many times, and the fact that they’ve started firing a lot of employees that were in charge of the community isn’t a good sign either.

So here you go, my opinion of all these dead (almost dead) games, and how I’m more and more disappointed about the videogame, or online videogame industry in general. Maybe I got some facts wrong or not entirely right, if you want to discuss about it you can do so with replies, or send messages to my inbox which, if I’m not mistaken, should be opened to everybody.

See ya!

#ded gaem #moba #dawngate #mxm #master x master #paragon #gigantic #hyper universe #very long post #rant

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wickedwitch1997 · 7 years ago

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The Water Bender’s Baby

1.It’s the Painted Lady 2.The Blue Spirit 3.The Painted Spirit 4.The Blue Lady 5. The Water Bender 6. The Fire Lord’s Heart pt 1 7. The Fire Lord’s Heart pt 2 8. The Painted Lady and the Blue Spirit 9. The Fire Lady 10.The Blood Bender 11. The Family Reunion

The night that Katara came home, Sokka arranged for a celebratory dinner, he found it odd when Katara wouldn’t even touch the wine.

She loved wine. Sokka didn’t think much of it.

Then she started to disappear, looking for a home, wanting to get out of the place she was sharing with Sokka. Sokka found it odd when she was planning on living alone.

Katara never liked living alone. Sokka didn’t think much of it.

Then she started to disappear into that home, the home on the edge of the tribe, so far away from Sokka’s house.

Sokka began to worry.

Sokka asked his father if he noticed what was wrong with Katara, Hakoda said to leave it be, to leave his sister alone and give her space.

But Sokka couldn’t do that, he was the oldest, he had to look out for her and he felt like he was failing in his mission.

Sokka let Katara be, for a time, but when he hadn’t seen her for more than a few months, he knew, deep down, that Katara was in trouble. So Sokka decided that he needed answers, his father wasn’t around so he went straight to Katara’s hut.

When he heard her screaming his heart raced, he charged into the hut as if he was charging into battle.

What he saw was earth shattering. Katara was in her bed, her father by her side, and in her arms was a babe, still covered in blood and goo from the birth.

“What in Spirits is going on here?!” he demanded, making all eyes turn to him.

“Out with you!” one of the other women in the hut hisses flapping her hands and pushing Sokka out of the door way.

“Dad?” Sokka asks, he sees Hakoda look to his sister then he stands and makes his way to Sokka.

“Son,” he says, putting his arms around Sokka’s shoulders and leading him outside.

Once the pair are outside the door shuts behind them and Hakoda leads Sokka to the living room.

“What is going on?” Sokka asks, frantically searching his father’s face for a clue.

“Katara had a baby,” Hakoda says, “she returned here already pregnant.”

“But… I… who… what?” Sokka is speechless, he has a million question’s forming in his mind but he can’t seem to form the right words.

“She will not tell me who the father is,” Hakoda explains.

“Aang?” Sokka breathes, but his father shakes his head and sighs.

“She is positive that it is not Aang’s child,” Hakoda says, “But she wants to keep the child a secret.”

“Why?” Sokka asks, his heart still pounding in his ears, “Dad, I don’t understand. Was it forced? Is she afraid of the father.”

“No,” Hakoda reassures, “Katara informed me that the father loved her, she loved him too.”

“Then I’m lost!” Sokka exasperates, standing to his feet, “Why would she not want her baby known?”

“I don’t know,” Hakoda sighs, wiping a hand down his face, “Spirits, I wish your mother was here… We can only hope that Katara will tell us when she’s ready.”

“But what if she’s never ready?” Sokka asks, “What if we never know?”

“Then we respect her wishes,” Hakoda says, standing to his feet to calm his son, “Sokka, we have to be supportive of Katara, we can’t let her go through this alone.”

Sokka sighs and sits down, he leans forward and puts his head in his hands, his mind still buzzing with questions that need answering.

“Chief?” one of the ladies says, coming out of Katara’s room.

“How is she?” Hakoda asks.

“Fine,” the woman says, “The birth was fine, no complications, the baby is strong and healthy. You have a granddaughter,” Hakoda’s heart flutters with joy, “She wants to see you,” the lady says, standing aside as Hakoda walks into the room.

Sokka remains sitting on the couch.

“You too,” the lady says, “Don’t you want to see your niece?”

Sokka stands to his feet and then walks into the room, the midwives finish cleaning and then leave the house; one stays behind to keep an eye on Katara and the new baby.

Sokka watches in awe as Katara sits in her bed, holding her daughter close and fawning over the child.

Hakoda sits by Katara’s side and they talk. But Sokka doesn’t know what to say, his eyes flick around the room and then land on Katara’s necklace; their mother’s necklace, sitting on Katara’s dresser.

“Congratulations Kat,” Sokka says, looking to Katara.

“I’m sorry I kept it from you,” Katara breathes, looking to her brother, “But I didn’t want anyone knowing before I wanted them to know.”

“I understand,” Sokka says with a smile, he rubs the back of his neck and then watches as Katara goes back to talking with their father.

Sokka goes over to the necklace on the dresser, the necklace is sitting face down on the dresser, Sokka stares at the pendant, the pendant which should be smooth and white. But the back of the pendant is engraved with a Fire Nation symbol, not just any Fire Nation symbol, but the crest of the royal family, Zuko’s symbol, etched into the pendant and filled with gold, real gold.

‘Holy spirits,’ Sokka thinks, ‘it all makes sense now.’

Sokka bides his time, he stays with his father and Katara until Hakoda is called away, Sokka stays behind.

“Master Katara,” The midwife says, coming into the room, “I have to go pick up some sea prunes for dinner, will you be fine on your own?”

“I’ll stay with her,” Sokka says, the midwife smiles and then leaves, promising that she’ll be back soon.

Sokka sits by Katara’s side, watching his sister rock her baby.

“She’s adorable,” Sokka smiles, “Looks just like you.”

“I know,” Katara beams, “But she has her father’s eyes.”

“Really?” Sokka asks, looking at the baby’s cyan eyes.

“Not in colour,” Katara laughs, “but in shape and softness.”

“Oh yeah,” Sokka says, “And look, there are even little gold flecks in her eyes.”

Katara goes still she doesn’t say a word.

“It’s Zuko’s baby, isn’t it?” Sokka asks, speaking softly, Katara looks to Sokka in shock, “Last we heard from Aang was that you were safe in the Fire Nation. You were with Zuko, weren’t you?”

Katara stays silent, her eyes are wide and glassed with tears, Sokka holds out Katara’s necklace, holding up the side etched with the Fire Nation symbol.

“I love him,” Katara breathes, “He loved me,” a tear slides down her cheek as she takes a deep breath, “I was going to marry him.”

“What happened?” Sokka asks, “Why’d you come back?”

“Because Mai came back,” Katara weeps, her voice becomes shaky, “Her father was threatening to tear the city apart if he didn’t get what he wanted, his people out numbered Zuko’s three to one. The first step to peace was making Mai Fire Lady, to unite the Fire Nation as one again.”

“And Zuko just kicked you out?” Sokka asks, his anger rising.

“No,” Katara gapes, “No, Sokka, he wanted to fight for me, he wanted to risk war to keep me by his side. I wouldn’t let him, I left.”

“And he didn’t know that you were pregnant?”

“No,” Katara says, “and he never will.”

“Why not?”

“Because if he finds out that this baby is his, everyone I love will be in danger!” Katara snaps, “IT’s a shock to think that such a small being is able to cause so much panic. But it’s true, if Zuko, or anyone else, finds out that this baby is his, chaos would ensue. I know Zuko, he would want to claim her as his own, he can’t do that without angering Mai and her father; his country would be in ruin. If Mai somehow finds out, I have no doubt in my mind that she will send assassins after me and after my daughter. I want my child to grow up safe.”

“So what are you going to do?” Sokka asks.

“I’m going to send her to a woman, the woman will raise her as her own,” Katara looks down to her child, “She will stay in the tribe.”

“So you’re just going to abandon her?”

“I’m not abandoning her,” Katara snaps, “I will always be in her life, she will know the truth of who I am and who her father is when the time is right. But if she stays with me, rumours will surely spread, some may fall for the lies I will have to tell, but Zuko is smart, he will know the truth.”

“Don’t you think he has a right to know?”

“Don’t you think I wish he could?!” Katara hisses, “There is nothing I want more than my baby knowing who her father is, there is nothing I want more, than to be by Zuko’s side in this. Sokka, I love him, I love him so much that it hurts, it hurts to be this far away from him, to have this big of a secret from him, but I have no choice. In keeping her secret, I am keeping her safe, I am keeping him safe. What kind of damage do you think will follow if word gets out about her? She’s only baby, but she is Zuko’s first born baby, rightfully the heir to the Fire throne, do you have any idea on what kind of danger that puts her in? Please Sokka,” Katara breathes, trying to stop the flow of tears falling down her face, “You have to keep this secret.”

“Ok,” Sokka breathes, his heart racing, “Ok, I will. I won’t tell a soul.”

“Not even father.”

“Not even Father,” Sokka echoes, “Katara, you mean the world to me, it pains me to see you like this.”

“I’ll be fine,” she breathes, then she looks to her baby, “We’ll be fine.”

“Well she’s going to need a name,” Sokka says, changing the subject, “Any ideas?”

“Senna.”

#it's the painted lady fic #chapter 11 #zutara #katara #zuko #sokka #mai'#hakoda #the plot thickens #dun dun daaaaa

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ventingblacklist · 7 years ago

Text

3x16 The Caretaker

“Some things can’t be forgiven.”

The Caretaker releases a recording that seems to prove a state department official was involved in the poisoning of a Chinese official.

The Caretaker’s thawing out the ground to dig up another secret.

This guy’s family has been protecting other people’s secrets for three generations. And this dude ain’t young. I feel like there could be an interesting backstory to that. Something starting soon after the Civil War. Maybe this dude’s ancestor started out keeping the secrets of a military general or something. Headcanon fun.

Liz has decided to keep the baby. And I guess raise it with Tom. And so now that that decision’s been made, she “accepts” his proposal in a manner that looks like a proposal itself. And is just kinda awkward and weird. A very pregnant lady getting down on one knee? My knee hurts in sympathy.

Tom is all shot up and he made breakfast. She says she’s supposed to be taking care of him, cuz of the shot up thing. And now she says she wants to take care of him for the rest of their lives. Which is also weird.

“I want to take care of you for the rest of our lives, for better and definitely for worse.”

So getting shot by his ex-girlfriend after a 22 million dollar diamond robbery is cool, I guess. And she’ll totally just take care of him afterwards. Good to know.

I still think she has her doubts. There’s still uncertainty there. I think she’s marrying him more because of the baby than anything else. She “accepts” after deciding to keep it. But she’s, ya know. Making a choice. Taking a leap of faith. Part of her never really did let go of Tom before and that part is growing back now.

Liz hurries off to meet Reddington and Tom gets a gun and some pills for the pain from a fake pharmacy delivery boy. He’s off to “make peace” with Gina.

Liz: We’ve decided to keep the baby. Red: We? Liz: I’ve accepted Tom’s proposal. We’re gonna get married. Red: Right. Liz: I know how you feel about him. I hope you’ll keep an open mind.

Sure. That’ll happen.

Red launches into the story of the American state department dude whose body has been fished out of a Chinese river.

So the state department wants to assassinate a Chinese official. Pritchard, the American state department dude, works with a Chinese-American businessman named Wen in order to accomplish this.

The Chinese official slated for assassination visits the UN. During his visit, Wen invites him over for dinner. During said dinner, the Chinese official is poisoned by state department agents that have been placed on Wen’s staff.

Wen recorded the conversation between Pritchard and himself as insurance. Because once the assassination had taken place, Wen feared the state department would come after him next, since he was a loose end. So he recorded the conversation and sent it to the Caretaker. To be released upon his death. Kind of a fulcrum-ish move. Life insurance.

Kaplan ultimately makes the same move. Kill me, release a secret.

“And yet my sources tell me Addison Wen is very much alive and was in no danger of prosecution, which means something has gone terribly wrong.”

So the fact that Addison’s fulcrum was released, but not according to his specific instructions, tells Red that the Caretaker is no longer a safe place to stash his secrets.

The task force goes after Wen first. A man who might know what’s going on, why his secret was released. How to contact the Caretaker. Also, the Chinese are probably going to be after Wen now too, so they better hurry.

Tom meets with Gina.

She most likely shot Tom because the Major told her to. She gave Tom an out, an opportunity to run away with her and a pocket full of diamonds, and when he turned her down she shot him on the Major’s orders. Like she warned him might happen. Cuz it was the Major’s op. Gina tells Tom the Major’s been after him since Tom left him for dead with the Germans.

This means that Tom has absolutely nothing to fear from the Major. Because the Major is completely incompetent.

If the Major can’t find Tom Keen, who is living in the same city, still going around calling himself Tom Keen, getting teaching jobs as Tom Keen, still hanging around the girl that he betrayed the Major for (the girl who would be the very first place even a completely stupid tracker would look), then the Major is the dumbest person on the face of the planet and Tom has nothing to fear from him.

The Major couldn’t get at Tom until Tom waltzed up to Gina, demanded a place on a Major op, and did the op in the face of Gina’s warning that she might tell the Major about it.

I mean, really.

Everybody is stupid in this scenario. Except Gina. Gina just wants to run off to Zurich with a purse full of diamonds and her cockroach twinkie.

Ressler and Samar talk to Mr. Wen. Liz tells Cooper she’s getting married.

Red didn’t take it too terribly hard. The news. Probably was so happy about her keeping the kid and all. But he wasn’t like, rejoicing either. So now we get Cooper who enthusiastically tells her that it’s great.

They’ll contrast Red and Cooper in the next episode as well.

Cooper: I’m happy you found your way back to each other. I know from my own personal experience… That’s not an easy thing to do.

Oh, please. Your wife slept with the neighbor because you were never around. Compared to the Liz/Tom situation that’s like, tiny, finely shredded julienne potatoes.

Liz laughs at Cooper’s enthusiasm and says, “It’s crazy.” She’s still got doubts.

Then she says she wishes her mom could be there. I was thinking that was kinda weird (this being her third wedding with Tom, big whoop) but then maybe not.

Liz has been thinking about her mom a lot lately, and not just because of the writers wanting people to think it’s going to be Katarina coming for her. She’s been asking Red about her with regards to the adoption situation.

Liz: My mother– was she still alive when I was placed with Sam? Red: Yes. Liz: Why did she do it?

....

Liz: I found a couple… to take the baby. Thinking about it is one thing, but actually doing it… How did she do it– my mother?

So her mom’s been on her mind. With the adoption and now learning about the suicide. Not to mention recently finding out who her mom even was. What Red told her about Kat’s pregnancy, etc...

So she tells Cooper she wishes her mom could be there, despite everything.

Liz: I mean, everybody has something to say about her. I just wish I knew the truth for myself, you know?

Cooper: And you’re sure there’s no one who can help you find it?

Liz: I tracked down this one man– Anton Velov. He said he didn’t know much, but I think he was holding something back.

Cooper: Sounds like you should pay this Mr. Velov a visit.

Interesting that she doesn’t tell him that Red knew her mother.

Interesting that in season four Cooper suspects Red of being Liz’s father. If Raymond Reddington is Liz’s father, that means he bumped uglies with a Russian spymaster. Must be something Cooper would think him capable of back in the day.

It’s funny to me. I know people are like, “why didn’t they immediately run a test to see if he was her father?” and I’m like... I’m not sure why they would assume that. Not sure why Cooper would.

And Cooper wondering why Red entered Liz’s life. Did he sleepwalk through season one?

If I’m Cooper, I’m thinking that question’s more or less been answered. How about because, as Liz explained at the end of season one, Red was using the FBI to smoke out Berlin? Liz was married to a Berlin associate. So Red asks for Liz because Liz is a way to get to Tom, and Tom is how you get to Tom’s employer.

Anyway, back from that rabbit trail, Liz is going to go talk to Velov now.

Ressler and Samar find out from Wen that he gave the Caretaker his secret through old post office pneumatic tubes. Apparently the tubes are a giant maze and no way to untangle it.

Liz meets with Red and tells him. He says he’s got a client who knows the tubes and he’s set up a meeting with him.

And now, after a bit of time has passed, Red asks her about her decision to forgive and remarry Tom.

"There is one thing that I can’t seem to wrap my head around....Tom.”

“After all the lies, all the deception and humiliation, how you can just...forgive and forget.”

"I haven’t forgotten. Forgiveness can’t change the past, but I believe it can change the future.”

“That’s a charming sentiment. But as far as I’m concerned, some things are unforgivable."

Liz might be ready to take this leap, but Red isn’t.

I also find it interesting that Red kind of echoes Zoe here. Only in Zoe’s case it’s the sins of the father that are unforgivable. A statement which I think echoed with Red. I think there’s something for which he cannot forgive himself.

People often point to Liz forgiving Red for killing Sam as proof of her forgiving nature. And I think she eventually got to that point. But I don’t think she stopped him from leaving because she’d all of a sudden made up her mind to forgive.

She told him to go because of Sam. She stopped him from leaving for the same reason she tried to save him from FBI capture - he has answers she needs. And she can’t get them without him.

I think she saved Tom for the same reason. Tom whispers a secret in her ear. I think if it hadn’t been for that whisper she wouldn’t have tried to save his little life.

Liz and Red go down below the restaurant and meet with Hugo, kind of the underworld’s post man. He sends the things meant for the Caretaker to the Caretaker via a tube that ends up in the Caretaker’s house.

“If you can give us his location, Ms. Keen will steer the Bureau away from you, guaranteeing you will not be imprisoned. Now, wouldn’t that be nice?”

Back to Tom and Gina.

He wants out. Out of what? He’s been out of the Major’s organization. He left his boss to be killed by a bunch of German Nazis, it doesn’t get more “out” than that.

So. Options. (In another post because the speculation got way too long.)

“I could go find the Major, and I could end him, too. Or we can just agree to just...walk away. I don’t come after you, and you don’t come after me or my family.”

The Major sucks at coming after you. He’s terrible at it. Maybe you shouldn’t have volunteered yourself for a Major op and put yourself right back in front of his face.

And even after you did that I’m not convinced he can find you with any degree of accuracy. Even though Gina’s probably told him you’re still with Liz and that Liz is carrying your spawn. I’ll betcha 22 million dollars the Major still can’t find you.

“I should have said yes, that night in Budapest.”

She’s still in love with this idiot.

When people say Tom never knew love before. Uh, I don’t know for positives, but it sure sounds to me like he proposed to Gina at one point. Also, Gina was so crazy about him, she still ain’t over him dumping her, even after all this time. Even after she took the fall for him. Don’t tell me she doesn’t love this dude. They deserve each other.

Ressler and Samar find the Caretaker. They learn that someone kidnapped his daughter and is forcing him to release these secrets.

“The traditions, the pride of my fathers is nothing compared to the love I hold for Rose. She’s all I have.”

The Caretaker story fits rather nicely in this spot, right before the fake death and the Alexander Kirk thing.

We’ve had the Frederick Barnes parallel. A man burning down the world to protect the biological child that no one knows is his child.

Now an adoptive parallel. A man willing to give up everything to protect a child he found, leaving her father bleeding on the street. The girl finding out and running away. Liz will soon run away.

They’re supposed to release a secret that will make the German government look bad by midnight. Reddington warns them not to expose the Germans.

Liz goes to see Velov. He claims he can’t help her. But that he agreed to meet with her because he wants her to deliver a letter to his daughter. Since she’s FBI, she can find her.

“I, too, have daughter. The life I led, the things I had to do, she won’t talk to me. I try to explain, but there are some– some things which can never be forgiven.”

Interesting choice of words there.

Velov’s nurse works for Reddington. She tells Velov his meeting is there, so I’m guessing that she heard him set the meeting, or he told her about it. So she already alerted Reddington. He’s listening in via Darla to find out what Velov tells her, what Velov knows. Velov is careful and gives Liz information under the table, as it were.

Red must suspect that Velov knows more than he’s saying. And Velov must suspect that Reddington’s keeping an eye on him.

Velov and Reddington. A couple of clever old soldiers.

Velov’s daughter tells Liz she talks to her father every day. The nurse should have known then that his story didn’t add up. Unless he and his kid also talk in code. Maybe she’s been pretending to be his niece or something.

As soon as Liz walks out the door, the nurse dials Red.

Darla: He told her nothing. Red: You’re certain?

Darla: He spent most of the time talking about his own daughter. Red: Thank you, Darla.

"She deserves the truth.”

"Watch the road, Dembe.”

The team debates whether to release the contract. Samar argues yes. To save Rose’s life and, let’s face it, the German government deserves to be exposed on this one. They were warned about terrorism and did nothing and people died. Then they covered it up. Ressler argues they only have circumstantial evidence of that and releasing it will harm diplomatic relations.

Aram tells Cooper that they aren’t close to tracking Rose down. Cooper decides to release the secret. He doesn’t count on needing the help of the German government to stop terrorists within the next few hours.

At that moment Red is watching footage of the kidnapping of Rose next to Liz. He notices that the van is done up with military parts. He knows of a guy who does that sort of thing.

Before he tells her that, he slips this in -

“What you said about forgiveness changing the future– it comforts me to know you’re looking forward again. The future holds such promise. The past– so many regrets.”

They go to see the car guy. They get an address.

Panabaker is the new Fowler/Reven Wright. She introduces herself to Cooper.

“Cynthia Panabaker. I drew the short straw. ... Reven Wright and Diane Fowler were good people. They were patriots assigned to oversee this task force and now they are missing and presumed dead. I have no interest in disappearing or dying in the foreseeable future, so I will watch your back and you will watch mine. Are we clear?”

She’s there to shake the Reddington tree, see what info comes loose. Two terrorists breached the port of Tampa an hour before. The Germans tracking them stopped talking. They think the U.S. leaked those documents.

Cooper: Why would they suspect– Panabaker: I don’t know. They’re Germans.

“Find out what Reddington knows. Before anything blows up would be nice.”

Reddington comes in. Cooper briefs him.

“I don’t mean to gloat, but boy, did I tell you so.”

These terrorists stole cargo, a metric ton of C4. Red knows some Mexican thieves who put tracking devices on cargo and attack it when it’s most vulnerable. He gets them to help and Cooper says he owes Red.

Meanwhile, Ressler and Samar “rescue” Rose. They find out it was all a setup. Rose found out she was a “missing child.”

Ressler and Samar move out to get the truck.

Samar: What should I call you– my idiot boyfriend or my idiot husband? Ressler: You can’t stay angry at me forever. Samar: Watch me.

lol

Samar: Aram, we don’t have time for this. We have 30 seconds. Aram: “I’m sorry” takes less than one. 28 seconds.

Go away, Aram. The adults are arguing.

Caretaker: What did they do to her?

Cooper: Nothing. She kidnapped herself to get away from you. She knows what you did, Mr. Janus. She’s known for months. Imagine how she felt finding herself on a missing children’s website.

Rose "kidnaps herself" to get away. Liz will fake her death to get away. In part two of the next episode.

Rose does it because she discovers the truth. Kaplan thinks Liz will leave Red if she learns the truth.

Barnes parallels the secret bio daddy idea. The Caretaker parallels the adoptive daddy idea. The Caretaker even talks about losing his wife and child a few months before he finds Rose.

“My wife and unborn child died a few months before. I was out for a drive, and I saw her crossing the street. She tripped. Her father. Her father– mean. Drunk. He started beating on her. I got out, went over to him to explain, “She’s just a little girl.” A beautiful little girl. Words were exchanged. He took a swing at me. I moved in in self-defense. He went down… hard. As he lay there bleeding, I felt a little hand in mine. She just took it. Like she was saying, “Thank you.” We walked back to the car. She got in willingly. And we left. Left.”

Cooper: You took her… like a thief.

Rose runs when she learns the truth. The “truth” that Liz thinks she learns in this episode is that her mother is alive.

She goes to see Velov’s daughter. Trying to be all helpful and family-mending. And the look Velov’s kid gives her. lol.

‘Yeah, lady, the envelope is for you.’

Piecing together what’s visible on the letter -

common belief...Katarina Rostova...own life in...I...the woman...story didn't... So I kept on ...my...search led me to a ... in Prauge. She got ... and it was the.....I'd ever got close...but in her haste to leave she left...enclosed (picture?) the little girl...

What Liz tells Red:

Velov was the agent assigned to find her. He was getting close, she knew it. That’s why she allegedly walked into the ocean. She wanted the world to believe she drowned....He tracked her to a hotel in Prague. She had just left. But in such a hurry, she missed this… A photo of her little girl. Me.

Red calls in his favor with Cooper - he wants to see the Caretaker’s ledger.

Cooper: If it were up to me, I’d burn it. I’ve learned the hard way that some secrets are best kept in the dark.

Red: Mine certainly is.

Red tells Cooper to go home and forgive Charlene. “Apparently, nothing is unforgivable.”

.... or not.

Liz: My mother’s alive. You lied to me.

Red: Velov is the one who lied to you, Lizzy, not me. Katarina Rostova committed suicide in 1990

Red: That could easily have been planted.

Liz: You said the name Masha Rostova had been lost to history until the manhunt. Now it’s out there, and someone’s looking for me. It’s my mother. Who else would care? Who? You were right. Some things can’t be forgiven.

Well, so much for Velov going to lengths to keep it a secret. .

So... what happened to Liz’s belief that her mother is still alive? I know she thinks that Kat is coming for her in the church and it turns out to be Kirk and all, but she should still think, based on this, that her mother is still alive.

I find it interesting that when Liz confronts Red the camera focuses on Dembe for a few seconds.

Cooper almost goes home, but keeps driving.

Tom doesn’t tell Liz about his little field trip to see Gina.

It’s deja vu all over again. Just slap on a pair of glasses.

Gina calls up someone. She’s drinking. Hair is done up. Jewelry in place. She ain’t headed for bed.

One assumes that she calls the Major.

“It’s me. He came. Just like you said he would. How do you want me to handle it?”

But here’s what I wanna know - Why would the Major need Tom to come see Gina before he ambushes Tom in his house and shoots him? I know, I know the Major is stupid and a horrible tracker, this has been established, but how does Tom coming to see Gina change anything?

Gina doesn’t follow him back home. Gina knows already that he’s in D.C. with Liz. The Major sitting around waiting for Tom to come by Gina’s place so she can “handle it” makes no sense.

Never seeing who Gina is talking to adds more fuel to the “third employer” fire.

Look, I’m just trying to make sense of the nonsensical over here. But it’s entirely possible that it is just nonsensical.

“If anything happened to me, this was to go to Elizabeth. So she would know. Now I’m not sure I ever want her to know.”

"Perhaps, Raymond, in this case, what you want is irrelevant. If the universe wants her to know, she will find a way.”

I’m pretty sure Red’s philosophy is to just do the opposite of whatever Dembe says. And right in his face. Like some kid. ‘nanner, nanner, you can’t tell me what to do.’

Whatever it is, it’s all fancy.

.... nanner.

Reddington keeping an eye on Velov. Velov claiming to know things about Katarina. Reddington burning a secret.

The theme of unforgivable secrets.

Reminds me of the suitcase of bones and Dembe's statement. I’d wonder if the envelope was connected to that secret, but Dembe doesn’t seem concerned about Liz learning of the envelope secret. Nor does he seem concerned about Liz learning whatever it is Red is worried Velov will tell her. But he is concerned about her learning the bones secret. Or whatever Red did to Katarina that is somehow connected to the bones secret.

Dembe in this episode: She deserves to know the truth. ... If the universe wants her to know, she will find a way.

Dembe in 4x22: I’m not sure Elizabeth will ever be ready to learn about what you did to Katarina.

#rewatch 2017 #the caretaker #this is insanely long

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the--sad--hatter · 6 years ago

Text

Name Calling (43)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU, DEADPOOL & X-MEN

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -

Vernichtung - Destruction, Annhialation.

It was what you were named and what you were supposed to be but the only thing you wanted to destroy was Bucky Barnes.

The ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on enjoying it quite so much.

But when your past catches up to you in the form of the mad scientist who made you, Bucky might be one of the only things that can save you from yourself. You can’t run from what you are but with his help, you can fight back.

Current Word Count - 119,431

MASTERLIST or Read on Ao3

Moodboard by @talesofakindredspirit

Chapter Forty-Three - Run Away

You wrenched yourself away from Remy with a gasp.

“No, no. I love Bucky.” You choked out.

“I know. But you needed to think of something else.” He smiled sadly.

“Doll?”

You looked up to see Bucky standing on the driveway, flanked by Tony and Loki. A blood soaked Logan stood up behind them, wounds sealing closed. A pathetic sounding sob escaped you and you half stood up and stumbled towards Tony.

Tony was the only solid thing in your crumbling world right now but to your shock and heartbreak he stepped away from you.

“It’s not me you need Kit Kat.” He said sadly.

Your strength abandoned you and you collapsed but you never hit the ground. One flesh arm and one metal caught you and you tentatively looked at Bucky.

His eyes were soft and full of pain.

“I love you, all of you.” He whispered and you fell apart.

He wrapped his arms around you and held you. Loki knelt in front of you and held a vial out.

“You both need to drink the antidote.”

“You haven’t had it yet?” You asked Bucky.

“No.”

“So when you said you loved me?”

“It’s the truth. I do love you and I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me.” He answered.

“I want forever.” You told him.

“Then that’s what you’ll get doll, forever.”

The cage in your subconscious snapped shut, Vernichtung once again locked safely away.

If you had Bucky, everything else would be alright.

“Kit Kat, you need the antidote.” Tony prompted you and Bucky took the vial from Loki and held it to your lips.

“We need to talk.” Logan growled.

“You may be hard to hurt but trust me, I’ll find a way if you don’t back off right now.” Tony snapped at him.

You nuzzled into Bucky’s shoulder and tried to block out the voices of your father and you biological father arguing.

“I thought you told her about Docherty. Because you didn’t I just got deathwaved on the front lawn and she almost lost control. We’re gonna talk now.” Logan informed him.

“No. Don’t blame him for your fuck up.” You snarled at Logan.

Bucky rubbed soothing circles on your back as you growled angrily at Wolverine.

“Barnes, get her out of here. Take that weekend trip early.” Tony instructed, tossing him the keys.

“Come on sweetheart.” Bucky said gently, pulling you towards the car.

“Wait.” You told him, pulling free and walking over to Logan.

He looked down at you.

“I thought you knew.” He said, his voice soft for once.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Did you... am I that big a disappointment?” You whispered almost inaudibly.

“You had a dad already, didn’t want to get in the way.” Logan told you.

“What was her name?”

“Anne.”

You nodded to yourself and silently walked away, getting in the car. Before you closed the door Bucky leaned in to kiss you on the forehead.

“I’ll be right back doll.” He told you.

You nodded to him to show you understood and he and left, Tony stepping up to take his place.

“He loves you. I won’t pretend I’m ok with it being him, I don’t think I’ll ever fully be alright with it but he does love you Kit Kat. So do I. So go away with him, lick your wounds and let him look after you. I’ll be here when you come back.” Tony said.

He wiped a stray tear from your cheek and looked at you with such tenderness.

“Don’t forget how proud I am of you.” He said.

Your lips moved and you managed to weakly whimper out that you loved him before he closed the car door. The drivers side opened and Bucky slipped in the car.

“I didn’t hurt him before you ask.” He informed you and you frowned at him.

“Remy. I didn’t hurt him for kissing you. I just reminded him who’s girl you are.”

“Yours.” You said.

“Mine.” He confirmed.

It was all too much for you, what had happened and your eyes fluttered closed as the emotional exhaustion kicked in. Despite it all, there was the smallest smile on your face as you drifted off because you were safe, you were loved and you had Bucky Barnes by your side.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“What the hell were you thinking? You could have been killed.” Tony demanded.

“Ah but she once risked it all to save me. I owed her the same. Remy thought maybe he could bring her back from the brink, and it worked.” He explained with a shrug.

“Not in the way you were hoping. You just reminded her how much she loves the soldier.” Logan huffed.

“Listen to me Romeo, personally I would have preferred you but she chose him. I know several assassins who love my daughter almost as much as I do and if you ever try and get between her and Barnes again I will unleash them on you.” Tony threatened.

Remy’s smirk didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“You don’t worry about Remy mon ami, he will not be a problem.” He promised with an air of sadness.

“And you.” Tony said, advancing on Logan.

“You don’t wanna pick this fight Stark.” Logan growled.

“Oh don’t I?”

“There was no right way to handle this. She’s my kid, now she knows it. And she’s made it perfectly clear what she thinks of that. Tore me to pieces, literally.”

“That’s my girl.” Tony said proudly.

“Yeah Stark. That’s your girl. Nothing like me at all.” Logan said sarcastically.

“Do not make the mistake of assuming that because she shares genetics with you that she will be like you. Her choices are her own and not dictated by her DNA.” Loki interjected with a dark stare.

“Well you sure as hell better hope she takes after me and not her grandfather. I’m trusting you with her because believe it or not I want what’s best for her. I want her to have a chance. I’m not the one to give it to her Stark and I know that but it doesn’t mean I don’t care. She needs to be better than me, she needs to be better than Docherty. Do not let her down.” Logan said furiously.

Tony was shocked. It was probably the most words Logan had ever said to him at one time.

“She is better than you, she’s sure as hell better than him, she’s better than me. She’s so determined to be good she broke herself. Her best chance doesn’t come from me or you, it comes from herself.” Tony informed him.

“And that’s why you’re her dad and not me.” Logan said, storming away.

Tony thought he understood the gruff man a bit better now and it was like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Logan wasn’t rejecting you because he didn’t want you, he was doing it because he wanted you to be happy.

It was the same reason Tony had swallowed his pride and sent you away with Bucky.

They both just wanted you to be happy.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You shifted in your sleep, trying to get comfy as your legs got tangled in the sheets. Why were there sheets in the car?

You opened your eyes just as Bucky leaned over you.

“Hey you’re awake, I had to carry you in from the car.” He explained, brushing a lock of hair off your cheek.

“Where are we?” You asked.

“Well I know how much you like the woods and I thought you would find this place peaceful.” He said, smirking at you.

You looked around the room and gasped.

“How long was I asleep?”

You definitely weren’t in the city anymore.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I felt bad so I updated with this super short chapter. I don't think it's a spoiler to inform you that smut and romance are coming....

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@thejourneyneverendsx @thelostallycat @inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher @kendrawr-kitkat @phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real-wombat @buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt @meganjonezzzz @dugan365@fluffeh-kitty@memanda17 @krystallynx @theonelittleone@piscesbarnes@free-as-fishes @tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard@dropthepizza346 @jaynnanadrews@likes-to-smell-books@drdorkus @life-wanderer@metalarmlover @animegirlgeeky@jsmith509

#hattersmarvelverse #bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes #avengers x reader

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