#you peep a pattern here? lol

[gojospee]

I’ve been wanting to crochet Wukong for a few months now, and a few days ago I saw someone post their own try at amigurumi Wukong (this is them @ghostwithacoffee )

So here’s my own attempt!!! I got his look inspiration from black myth Wukong game as well as some descriptions from Journey to the West (peep his pointed ears hehe). It’s not that good BUT I tried my best. I even tried to crochet a staff…I couldn’t do it T_T

I had to rack my brain into making his tunic, and his tiger pelt thingy because there are no patterns for it 😂 so bear with me if it looks fugly lol

If I ever get to fixing him up more (such as giving him a staff, fixing his head band, and a few other things) I’ll definitely post a finished version!!!!!

Alright, now I can rest my hands…this took me about seven hours to crochet/making up my own patterns for the accessories 😩

The general monkey pattern itself is from YouTube!!! I just typed in “crochet monkey”💜 also if you like my crochet Wukong please consider checking out my crochet instagram account (@hazzys_creations)

Here’s a closer look at Wukong against my Christmas pajamas lol. Ok bye now :3

[moralesmilesanhour]

Hello!!! How are you? I’ve been a follower for the past few days and was wondering if I could request something.

I was hoping to request a fic or like give you a prompt for something for miles42 × femreader

So it goes like this- yk those super corny reads that are like the reader's pinning for miles and like sometimes miles finds them annoying but in a cute way but he don't know that her yk? So he's talking to his homeboys about her, talm about some how she's so "annoying, a nuisance" and guess who's behind the wall listening? The reader herself.

So this goes one of two ways- she either matches up there, confronts him. And she's like "flipping fine, if that's how you feel then lemme get out of ur way- you won't hear a peep from me" and she like just ignores him and he learns how he feels about her, sees how his life is so boring without her and all that- goes to apologize happy ending..

Option number 2: silent treatment. Like just slowly drifting away until he once again comes to the realization that he needs her and all that happy ending yay!

Feel free to do whatever you want with this but I'm thinking of sending the same request to other authors to see what they come up with cause everyone has a style k? And i just love studying them and reading them cause evervtime- no matter how similar the prompt is- they always manage to invoke different feelings with in me.

Anyway- have fun doing this- but remember you don't have to cause this is kinda too much and I'm sorry😓

"I want my pen back."

wc: >1,200 A/N: okay so i got a bit carried away...this is a long one. (yes I am using this as an excuse to try out the gradient thing) thank you anon for this fun request! i also rlly like ur reasoning behind it and i hope i was able to do this prompt some type of justice lol

The gel pen clattered to the ground.

“I got it,” you said, grinning at Miles. You squat to grab it before the boy can act to get it himself, and he sighs as you hand it to him.

“Thanks.”

Miles turned the pen every which way between his fingers.

You had gifted it to him on the first day of school, with that same expectant grin. The little cartoon dogs that surrounded the perimeter had begun to fade with use because – admittedly – it had actually turned out to be a good ass pen.

He’d thought initially that you were just being nice; maybe you were handing shit out to everyone because it was the first day, understandable. 

But then, it was highlighters (the erasable ones).

Pink sticky-notes on his locker, telling him to have a nice day with the ‘i’s dotted with hearts.

A new sketchbook for Secret Santa.

Miles’ pencil case had rapidly gotten bulkier, and when you rushed to grab a seat next to him during the one class without assigned seats, it finally clicked.

You were trying to get his attention. And he wasn’t sure what would happen if you got it.

“I like the new braids.”

He was snapped out of his thoughts, and turned to you.

“Huh?”

“The braids,” you laughed. “I like the pattern. Who did ‘em for you?”

A tiny smirk ghosted the boy’s lips.

“My mom. Just like the last time you asked me.”

He ran a hand instinctively over the meandering zig-zag pattern that his cornrows had been sectioned into. Miles looked at you from his periphery; you were still staring. 

“Bitch, just ask him out already!”

Your friend smacked the back of your shoulder as the two of you took your sweet time getting back to your lockers.

“Alright, today, I swear,” you said, hand over your heart for emphasis.

A beat of silence passes. “But what if he says no?” 

She groaned.

“Then he says no, and you can save your money. But say something, it’s getting embarrassing.”

Your friends’ encouragement landed you here, around the corner of a building where Miles and a gaggle of other boys from your homeroom were bursting into raucous laughter.

“Yo, why you ain’t bag her yet? She wants you bad,” one boy said.

Unsure if the ‘she’ in question was you, you stay where you are and keep listening.

“I dunno, she kinda annoying,”

Miles’ low voice makes your ears perk up.

“One day she gon’ run outta things to say about my hair, she has to!”

��Oh.

The buoyant feeling in your chest sinks as the group erupts into another laughing fit. If you asked him out now, you’d hear about it for the rest of the year.

Shoving your phone into your pocket, you turn back the way you came. 

Miles knew something was off when you sat down the next morning without a word. 

“You good?” he asked.

You glanced at him, then nodded before going back to playing with the beads in your hair. The excruciating silence stretched on for almost the entirety of class before it was broken again.

“Do you…wanna help me with my homework? I’ll really let you, this time.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Morales, you got an ‘A’ in every class.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Your name’s on every bulletin board.”

“Damn,” the boy muttered to himself as his leg bounced under the desk.

Your beads clattered against your back as you rose from your seat. The bell had rung, finally. You didn’t even say ‘bye’.

Miles cracked open his locker. One of your sticky notes from last week had begun to un-stick and fluttered to the ground. There were no new ones. He bent to pick it up, noticing how neat and round your handwriting was on these compared to the way you wrote in class. The letters didn’t run together, like you were in a rush.

Neatly folding the note and sticking it in his pocket, Miles shut his locker to reveal your face. The boy nearly yelped in surprise.

“Where the hell did you come from? Scared the shit outta me,” he said with a grin.

“I want my pen back.”

Miles froze. 

“Which pen?”

You tilted your chin up towards the one he was currently gripping in his left hand. He looked down at it like a wad of cash.

“Oh.”

He couldn’t just not give the pen back to you…

…but he didn’t want to give it to you, either.

“What you need it for? Don’t you have, like, a whole store full of these?”

“Miles, I gotta get to class. I’m not playing,” you reached for Miles’ hand, but he raised it high above his head.

Instead of a smirk or mocking sneer, something like worry was etched onto the boy’s features. 

“Tell me what’s up witchu first.”

“What are you talking about? I’m about to be late, c’mon.”

“You ain’t said a word to me all day,” he dropped his hand momentarily. “Are you sick? Did I do something? What–hey!”

You had snatched the pen out of the boy’s hand when he wasn’t looking, throwing it into your bag.

“I thought that’s what you wanted.”

You turn to retreat down the hallway, but stop with a huff when Miles calls after you.

“Wait!”

“I’m waiting.”

“Come see me after school?”

You kicked an empty can down the sidewalk in front of Miles’ apartment.

“Make this quick, I gotta go study.”

He looks everywhere else to avoid meeting your eyes, looking for the right words.

“You didn’t answer me earlier,” Miles awkwardly shuffled his feet. “Are you mad at me?”

“...Yeah, kinda.”

“For what?”

You stop to think for a moment, crossing your arms. 

“For…for letting me hand you that pen, knowing you weren’t gonna give it back,” you began.

Miles’ brows furrowed in confusion. “That’s it?”

You shook your head profusely, “N-no, I’m not done. You let me buy you all that stuff, put all that dumb shit in your locker, whole time you don’t even like me–”

“You don’t know that,” Miles interrupted. Your head snapped up to look at him, and you paused.

“I don’t?”

Neither of you say anything for a moment, then Miles remembers the note in his pocket. He takes it out and shows it to you.

“These? Are cute as fuck,”

He searches for more words, ten continues, "A-and I use that sketchbook every day. That pen? It’s like, my favorite,” he laughs. “I got half a mind to steal it back from you.”

Miles watches you expectantly. Your arms are still crossed, but the corners of your lips quirk up in amusement.

“So you like getting free stuff.”

“No-! I…”

The boy’s arms had begun to flail around in frustration. You hold back a giggle, never having seen him squirm like this before. It’s a nice change of pace.

“Alright, listen. I like hearing you talk to me every morning, and…”

He trailed off. He had begun slightly bouncing on his toes.

“...I like you.”

At some point while watching Miles struggle to explain himself, the float-y feeling in your chest had come back. You tilted your head to the side, and smiled.

“Okay. What are you gonna do about it?”

The boy’s eyes lit up.

“Where do you wanna go?”

[kanmom51]

The terms JK has used to describe JM

You don't realize there are so many terms JK used to describe JM until you start digging. I tried. I honestly did. To bunch them all together into one post. But I 100% know that I've missed something, forgot something on the way. So, I apologize in advance for that.

But then, I went to all the trouble to create this post, so what am I apologizing for?

Lol.

Just know there is probably more that I missed (and probably the most obvious I should have remembered off the batt - shame on me).

Let's get started, why don't we?

Nice

This is a term JK used to describe JM multiple times.

JK 15 June 2015:

Well, damn.

What do I do with this one?

I like JM's personality - he's nice, he treats me well.

I find JM attractive - his eyes are really beautiful when he smiles (not pretty, not beautiful, but "really beautiful" was his choice of words).

I find JM charming - no one can match his charm among the members.

If I were a girl I would want to date JM.

In one go we have:

Nice

Attractive

His eyes really beautiful when he smiles.

Charming.

And to top it up, we have A declaration of intent.

Charming

Well, just look above you, we have the charming.

But also:

Cute

This one is one we get on repeat.

And you know what? No wonder it is, given cute IS JK'S TYPE.

So, what has JK found cute about JM?

His toes.

His pinky

His sneezes.

His existence.

Gave JM the cute award.

Here you will find many more JM cute mentions:

And yep, there we go again.

And because we established JK's type is CUTE, then let's enjoy this too, why don't we?

Pretty

Pretty eyes:

Notice the use of the term REALLY both times he talks about JM's eyes? Really beautiful and really pretty are the terms he used.

Very pretty.

Pretty. Period.

Sexy

Sexy expression.

and this:

Which until this day I do not understand how he got away with.

"Ohhh! Jimin's sexy."

Exclamation mark of course.

Black swan JM sexy (oh, and elegant too):

And let's go out with a bang, why don't we?

Extremely sexy.

No. It wasn't enough to say that JM is sexy. Nope. He's extremely sexy!! Listen to JK. He definitley knows.

His final looks ranking

Now, you see, JK used to have to do these in the early years. Have to because he was asked to in interviews and shows. And in the early years he was a little/big shit, and used to rank JM last. I do think he had his reasons for it (didn't want to show his crush, didn't want to rank the older hyungs last, JM was the one he was closest with and it was easier for him to maybe apologize later on or maybe he thought he could make it up to him later), but whatever they were, what he did was inexcusable, because he really hurt JM by doing this (you clearly see it in the last ranking he was asked to do in 2014). Sadly, I'm not sure he was mature enough to understand it yet. In early 2015 he was asked about it, why he ranks JM last? Is JM really unattractive in his opinion? And his immediate answer was no. That he did it for laughs. Again, not understanding how hurtful it was.

But you see, JK didn't think JM wasn't good looking. Quite the opposite. He even said it, just not loud enough, not where it had more of an impact (I mean, look at how those clips circulate and fans really do believe this is what JK thought back in the day while he obviously did not).

Do you see what I see?

"In BTS Jimin Park's role is being #1 in looks".

Peeps, this is way backsies in 2015!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what JK thought about JM, not those stupid rankings where he thought he was there to entertain the audience delivering JM as the sacrificial lamb, maybe thinking JM's over the top reactions would be entertaining (outwards, cause he too thought he was there to entertain the audience and in the meantime was hurt to the core).

Before I move on to JK's final ranking in 2019, his "making things right for all to see and hear", I want to us to look a little more at that description JK wrote way back in 2015. You still see the hesitation not to give him a too outstanding mark in looks (he ranks him #1 in BTS but only gives him a 50 out of 100 mark). This could be him not wanting to show his crush or not wanting it to go to JM's head, lol. With the way JK was behaving, at times having to scrape his tongue off the floor and others having to adjust the jewels, I would say that in his head that mark was way higher than a 50, lol.

JM's charm points: eye smile, strong body, thighs (man has a thing for thighs too, we know that).

But our boy, he grew up. He matured. He understood. And he wanted to set things straight. Because to him, 2019 JK, JM ranked no. 1 in looks (surprise surprise) not on paper, but bringing it up as a question he 'happened' to pick, out loud. No real ranking was going on, it was only important for him for everyone to know that JM was #1.

Cute, sexy, lovely

Just for funsies. The lethal combination.

Always no. 1 to him

Now, this one is so much bigger than people give it. The way JK talks to JM, media room, all media outlets there, mid a sort of interview, there is a reason JM was trying to flee the scene, lol. JK calling him Jimin-ah like that, and following with "where you going?". This is his hyung, his elder, it's just not done, and most definitley not in the surroundings they were in. So yes, this one is big. JK dropping the honorifics calling him Jimin-ah, using a term of affection, and following it with "you're always no. 1 to me."

Handsome

he doesn't really use that term too much when it comes to JM.

But he did use it once that I can think of:

Maybe because it's a little detached, less personal. While pretty, especially a man calling another man pretty, that feels more personal. Pretty is not a term usually used to call a man, even more so by another man. This was back in 2015 and from the interaction we can see that JM was definitley not used to JK complimenting him. He got so flustered and felt there was an ulterior motive, which there was to start with, but definitley not after the success of JK's mission after the first time he called JM and got the "thank you" he was supposed to get.

Anyway, I can't for the life of me (getting old maybe) cannot think of another occasion, especially a later one, where JK calls JM handsome.

A fallen angel

Shameless:

When asked what he liked about JM who is sitting next to you, JK's answer was:

Not a description but when asked what part of JM's body is his favorite, JK's reply was:

His whole body.

This man is totally smitten.

And just incase after all of this you still don't think JK is head over heals for JM, I give you exhibit 20,171,108:

[bakugoushotwife]

Headcanons for boyfriend Sasuke please ?

a/n: sure thing, we love feeding the sasuke girlies round these parts

tenderly and with all the love in my heart, sasuke is a horrible boyfriend if you're dating as teens

it's honestly hard to even imagine him as a boyfriend as a teen, so i won't linger here long

here's what i will say, if you manage to go official with him in his teen rogue nin years, you're either the baddest bitch on the planet or the most powerful person he's ever seen or both

assuming you're also some sort of rogue nin/akatsuki member you would help closely with his revenge tour and he would find it easier to talk to you than others

that being said he still doesn't talk very much, his emotions were hard to put into words

he can very rarely show you affection, but he doesn't allow anyone to disrespect you in any way n it's very easy for him to stand up for you to other akatsuki or anyone that feels so bold

and by affection i mean he occasionally holds your hand, and blushes violently every time i love this war criminal

he doesn't stop you from touching him though, he's just touch starved of course and doesn't rlly know how to touch you in a romantic but appropriate way

very defensive so you pretty much always have to agree w him or...nvm u saw how many times he tried to kill sakura

he does value your insight in planning though, let's you give opinions when his head is level

is surprised that anyone even wants to stick by him at all, much less in his crazee era!

but appreciates it by keeping you safe and training w you <3

listen to your favorite dress by lil peep i think that summarizes teen boyfriend sasuke

now young adult sasuke would be much easier to deal with, definitely not walking around on eggshells with him

he still is very awkward and unsure how to flirt or romance you

just like teen sasuke he blushes every time he holds your hand or gives you a sweet kiss

tells you about his brother more openly, a sign he's let you in

constantly asking the boyz for help with dates or gifts for you and always coming home with some goofy ass trinket that shikamaru jokingly told him to get or buying the ugliest dress in konoha because naruto said that hinata said that you would like it

a+ for effort though, king

eventually he just starts asking you for the things you like and you freely tell him all your favorite colors and patterns and scents, all the things you had your eye on or had thought were nice

the adorable thing about sasuke is he has a fantastic memory, so he's able to memorize all the things you told him and slowly acquire them for you

when y'all leave the leaf for his missions, he's protective as always, but trusts in your abilities

#travelgoals

exploring together is so fun because he really is so smart and knows all kinds of fun facts about the different villages and locations you visit

always reups on snacks at the big stops because he knows you'll get cranky

cute starwatching and picnic dates while hunting otsutsuki? yes!

picks flowers for you <3 crying

definitely lets you use the cloak as a blanket during the night

always pretends to be annoyed when you whine that you're still cold

cue the *sigh* into cuddles, like he isn't grinning to himself and super relieved and lucky to have you with him

can oddly write? like not sonnets or anything mf crazy but maybe a slight poem when his heart is just about to burst if he doesn't figure out how to put his love for you into words

doesn't give them to you though, too embarrassed

you find them anyway hehe

they're so sweet and well written that you're shocked but also melting at all of his comparisons of your beauty to the sun and the sound of your voice to music

you're touched

snatches said poems when he notices lol like you're not his partner?

you pout and thank him and he's a bit surprised that you like it but hey he'll give you whatever he writes now

he's so babygirl

your honor i know he's a terrorist but i love him

[everafterwhat]

your redisnighs of the EAH characters are so stunning and honestly better than the originals! that being said, which character's original design is the coolest to you? im having literally the hardest choice picking

Thank you so much, that’s so sweet omg that means so much to me🥺💞💓 That’s such a hard question because I like a lot of their designs for different reasons, of course some of them I’m not a fan of but I feel like I can always find something I really admire!

I absolutely love Cerise’s design! I can’t get over her white streak of hair and the fact that she’s secretly the daughter of the big bad wolf is such a fun concept, it gives her hood multiple purposes which I love! Not only does she wear it to honor her destiny and mother, but to hide her identity. Though with all the growling she does I don’t know how she’s hidden it anyway. And don’t get me started on the patterning on her hood and stockings! And the BANGS😭💞

Lilly Bo Peep is also a favorite of mine and honestly I wish she had had a bigger part, I would’ve loved to know more about her. There are so many cool backgrounders it’s insane, the dedication is so admirable😔💓 The bangs over one eye, the multi length and multi colored hair, the pigtails, the cute little apron outfit and bonnet? Obsessed!!

Of course I have to put Duchess here, are y’all really shocked? I do have a few complaints about her outfit but I’m obsessed with her hair and hairpin. The pearls? The feathers? Love. I wish they hadn’t done a weird pattern on her skirt but that was definitely popular at the time of its creation, weird patterns were kind of everywhere. I love her pointe shoe heel things, they’re so cute and props to her for being that devoted LOL

There are so many other characters who have little parts of them I love, and some of them have beautiful special episode outfits which have my heart! I almost said Darling but I kind of hate her weird pink gem decor on her chest. I know it’s a throw back to what knights typically wore but I think it could’ve been illustrated better! She’s definitely a runner up tho💞

These are just my silly little opinions so let’s all be nice! I can’t list everyone here😭😭

[milos-lil-corner]

Thoughts and reasons why I put songs in my Splendorman playlist. Take a listen and read below if you want lol. There's a text description of my thoughts on each song if you can't read my horrendous hand writing.

Read below to see text version of image

Fine by Lemon Demon - Splendorman creator! Also a song about finding joy in darkness.

they're hiding in plain sight. can't you see? by Crossing Bridges - Vibe

feels nice, even if it is all a lie by Crossing Bridges - Vibe

The Lobotomy by Maebi - Headcanon vibe of what being under Splendors control feels like. Weird and strange.

PP1 by Frakkur - Vibe

Placid Waltz by Reece Moseley - Vibe

さむくてあったかい、ふゆ〜雪の世界〜 by Kikiyama - Vibe

Remaining Souls by Avith Ortega - Title reference towards Splendors proxy's

Grouped these songs together into one -> the water is quite beautiful by Crossing Bridges, Nostalgia by Reece Moseley, take your time, you'll be here a while, Fairy Tale Woods: Apple House by Urotsuki, wish you were here by Crossing Bridges - Title references. Hae a headcanon that Splendors "house" is a sort of like the house in House of Leaves but with a nostalgic twist. Grandma feel. Homey. Yet, not quite home.

Szorn by Wiktor Stribog - Vibe

empty meaningless patterns by Unworn - Splendors ability causes people to lose track of time

Livin' in the Sunlight, Lovin' in the Moon Light by Tiny Tim - Very Splendorman coded, lol

They're Coming to Take Me Away--Ha Ha! by Sloppy Jane - See this as a proxy of his going nuts - either because of Splendor or itself.

Drown me! by Junie & TheHutFriends - Goofy [|:)

Bag of Static by Akuma Kira - Hint of Splendors relation and similarity to Slender

tadpoles lullaby by galen tipton - comfortable and whimsical

song of the unhealing by death palace - Headcanon that he and BEN would have a sweet friendship. IDK

michael has been fired from his job, michael has been burned to death by No Love In The House Of Gold - Vibe

Refuge by Maebi - Vibe

feel by Squeak - Vibe

A4 - Childishly fresh eyes by The Caretaker - Everywhere at the End of Time is my fav project. Also, hint towards what Splendors ability does to peeps

Under the mask by Infinity Frequencies - Title reference and nostalgic vibe. Splendorman "masking" his more unsettling aspects of himself to appeal to humanity.

A Jester's Cry by Maebi - A somber vibe and has a vibe of desperately being wanted

One's Cyclical Soliloquy by Maebi - Vibe

Everything is going to be Okay by Zephaniah - Vibe

homesick by Squeak - Vibe

Crestfallen Nomad by Maebi - Splendor being a wanderer

Toybox by Maebi - Splendor appealing to children more

Dreaming by Akuma Kira - Vibe

The room with no door by Infinity Frequencies - Vibe

The Silhouette by Maebi - Vibe of what it feels like to be watched by him

[family portrait] by Crossing Bridges - Splendors complicated feelings about his kin and relationships ( mostly Slenderman )

Decay and Disarray by Maebi - Vibe

jump in, the atmosphere is fine by Crossing Bridges - Vibe

We often forget to live in the moment we have by Zephaniah - Vibe

welcome to the end by Crossing Bridges - Vibe

it's taking you somewhere by Crossing Bridges - Title reference

In the blink of an eye by Zephaniah - Life can change in a single instance. Being taken is one of them

permafrost by No Love In The House Of Gold - Vibe

B1 - All that follows is true by The Caretaker - Proxy's memories slowly slipping away. [|:)

doom has caught up to you and it's bound to strike at any moment and place by Crossing Bridges - Vibe

Alternate Realities by Infinity Frequencies - Vibe

A Mask of My Own Face by Lemon Demon - Creator of Splendorman - also references how Splendor 'wears' two masks in his life.

Beware the Friendly Stranger by Boards of Canada - What I think of when I think of Splendorman, honestly. Title, vibe, the effects - everything

[reikunrei]

"More than just an ordinary human."

It's that time again! Another Doctor Who episode wahoo!! Let's check out season 3, episode 6:

"The Lazarus Experiment"

So, Lazarus is, obviously, taken from the biblical figure of Lazarus who was brought back from the dead by Jesus. The story of his revival is meant to exemplify the power Jesus has over death itself, but I won't be talking about that in-depth here; the Bible-talk is more James's wheelhouse lol.

As it applies to this Doctor Who episode, it's not so much about coming back from the dead, but rather about cheating death. Professor Richard Lazarus has created an invention, which he calls a "miracle" (the same word used by Patty in reference to "Henry's" powers in tfs), that will essentially de-age anyone who steps inside.

(Peeping the fact that he specifically mentions the moon landing like Mr. Clarke mentions it in st3)

However, there's a catch! He didn't do his proper research! He didn't account for all possible variables! And something in his DNA is trying to change him! (Another tfs word! We love to see it!)

Rejuvenating, you say? Even after the Doctor blows up Lazarus in his monster form and he comes out entirely unscathed? Golly, I wonder who that reminds me of! Anyway.

So basically what happened is Lazarus "changed his own molecular patterns" by "hack[ing] into his own genes" which is SUCH a NINA-ass word to use. Don't even remind me of all the computer stuff that's being pushed in the st5 leaks and updates. This has seemingly activated something in his DNA that's trying to make him change, and that "change" is a giant scorpion-like monster that is absolutely ravenous. Before the Doctor and Martha are looking at his DNA, we see a scene of Dr. Lazarus grabbing a finger-food platter from one of the waitstaff at his invention's unveiling and scarfs it down, saying he's famished, which the Doctor isn't surprised by (it's insinuated that he understands, at least loosely, what's happening because of the Time Lord's ability to regenerate, which always wears them out and makes them very energy-hungry).

In his monster form, Dr. Lazarus drains all the "life-energy" out of several human victims in order to sate his hunger, leaving an empty shell. (Insert Vecna consuming his victims to get stronger, insert "Henry" killing animals in tfs to sate the Shadow and it being much more powerful when "he" finally kills Virginia, insert Max being left an empty body without a soul/life, etc. etc., you get the picture. Not to mention that the Doctor equates it to "squeezing the juice out of an orange" ... I wasn't expecting a little st vr connection, but I'll take it!). He has little to no control over his transformation, and while he can feel it coming on, he can't just snap in and out of it; it simply takes over and he changes. The first time we see him transform, he writhes on the ground in agony and his wife asks if it's "some kind of seizure" (smash cut to "Henry" in tfs seizing).

Later, after some running around, being chased, and doing some thinking, the Doctor explains to Martha that this "thing" (Lazarus) isn't alien, it's "strictly human in origin." This form was becoming "dominant" because the process of de-aging himself likely awoke some dormant genes that "evolution rejected...millions of years ago...forgotten until Lazarus unlocked it by mistake."

A big part of this episode is about hubris. Dr. Lazarus is overconfident in his invention, and he spends ample part of the start of the episode dismissing the Doctor and Martha when they both warn him that something may be wrong/this may be more dangerous than he realizes. On top of Dr. Lazarus seeking out youth/prolonged life, much like the idea that Brenner is looking for some sort of power/immortality of some kind in st (barely even touching on the other weird stuff like Brenner not aging in tfs between 1959-1979), a lot of it made me think of El tearing into Brenner in 4.08, especially her emphasis on him being the monster, on all of this being his fault, all because he couldn't let Henry go. Brenner has constantly been presented to us, throughout all mediums, to be fairly stubborn and determined to get what he wants, even if the results are catastrophic (ie. the number of guards and orderlies who have died helping him with his child dungeon project, all of the children themselves dying in one way or another, even his own ass getting jumped by a demogorgon and then shot to bleed out and "die" in the desert).

Which leads into the other core aspect of this episode: humanity.

Throughout all of Doctor Who, the Doctor makes it clear that he finds humans utterly fascinating, especially in their mundanity. He emphasizes the importance of everyone's individuality and tells everyone they're special and important, even if they don't really "do" anything. Simply being who they are is what makes them matter; they don't need to be useful or supply anything groundbreaking in order to be amazing in his eyes. They exist as humans, and that's all that matters.

In this episode, we see Lazarus talk about how humans, as they are now, are basically inferior. While a large part of his motivations are about the money he'll make off of such an invention, we learn later that he has a distinct and deep fear of death and being defenseless against it. He wants to "change what it means to be human," to give them "a chance...to evolve, to improve" and to make sure he never has to face death like he did as a child: terrified and vulnerable.

We get the two following conversations between the Doctor and Lazarus, one at about the midway point of the episode before shit really hits the fan, and the other is near the very end of the episode after shit has really hit the fan.

This next one is split into several pieces to get in all the lines because they say a lot that jumps out as very important and distinctly Brenner, with some smatterings of One's monologue and some Henry-isms, especially from tfs, and the general presence of many of The Words.

I wanna point out that the Doctor being at the London Blitz is a direct reference to the episodes I talked about in my last dw post. And I find it incredibly interesting that a lot of the original tfs promo was heavily centered around church, like how this final standoff is in a cathedral, even so far as having Mr. Newby originally be listed as Father Newby, etc., despite the final play not being as heavy-handed with the religious imagery. Idk it's just itching something in my brain! I also wanna note that, since it's kinda hard to see here, the camera pans around Lazarus in a counterclockwise circle, following the path of the Doctor as he circles him, and we aaall know how st loves to use circling camera shots like that.

I especially want to touch on the second conversation the Doctor and Lazarus have in the church. The Doctor speaks to him calmly, trying to get him to understand and have compassion for the experience that is being human rather than trying to cheat it, and that living an exceptionally long life really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Even though Lazarus is now a "monster," he's still intensely humanized. He's killed at least four people at this point, but the Doctor doesn't go about simply trying to belittle, dehumanize, or kill him.

When it comes to Brenner, unfortunately, we still don't know much about his past, but we have a lot we can assume or extrapolate, at least based off what tfs has told us and the gaps we can fill in from st itself. We know, at least vaguely, that he and his father had a strained relationship. During the opening sequence of tfs on the USS Eldridge, we hear Captain Brenner talking to his other shipmates about how "it's my kid's birthday today, he told me he hates me."

However, later in the show, Brenner tells "Henry" that his father's return from Dimension X and subsequent death because of it compelled him to join Project Rainbow and devote his life to the cause and figure out what happened. With "Henry's" seeming ability to survive being infected by the Shadow, Brenner tries to tap into that. His main goal in tfs is to make contact with the Shadow and figure out what happened to his father, and since it's then explained that he made more children like "Henry" (specifically the immunity to the Shadow/the shared blood that supposedly gives them that immunity), it's clear he's trying to avoid is father's fate in that way. In short, it very much comes off as an attempt to try and cheat death.

Brenner, throughout the show, often presents what he does as good, both for the children in the lab and for humanity as a whole (though specifically for the US, focused on beating back those nasty commies). Even if he does bad things, it's for the greater good! He has good intentions! That's gotta count for something, right? /s

Both Lazarus and Brenner went into their respective experiments because they thought they could become better than human. Or in Brenner's case, at the very least he could live vicariously through his experiments to feel better than human, which was explicitly touched on in the vr game in clips like this one. As we also see in st4, El tries to call Brenner a monster, but when she relays this thinking to Vecna, he rejects it, and calls Brenner "an ordinary, mediocre man."

Shortly after that first conversation I showed between Lazarus and the Doctor on the rooftop, after Lazarus transforms, there's a sequence where, from inside Lazarus's machine, the Doctor is able to reverse the polarity of the capsule so it reflects energy rather than receive it, and it blasts Lazarus away, turning him back into human form and supposedly killing him.

Right away, with this comment from Martha, Lazarus is equated back to an ordinary human. He's not made to be the "big bad villain" where everyone is glad he's dead, nor is he made out to be this reverent being. He's someone to be pitied. It's decidedly solemn. He was just a man out of his depth who bit off more than he could chew... much like how Brenner is a man out of his depth who bit off more than he could chew.

I wouldn’t be surprised if we learned that Brenner was actively harming himself in his attempt to do… whatever. Much like how Lazarus was harming himself (and others) in order to maintain his new youth, Brenner may be harming himself with his experiments. Whether that be via blood transfusions/consuming blood (see the post I linked from Stav above), or by doing something as drastic as physically combining himself with one of the Henwards, I doubt anything 100% good and rewarding could come from it. Even if he's looking for something like regenerative healing, as we see in Vecna and as hinted by Brenner not being dead despite getting jumped by a demogorgon, what does he have to do to reach that point? What risks are there involved that he may not have accounted for, simply because he would have no idea that they exist in the first place? Just looking at the circumstances of the weird Brenward face combo we get in 4.07… he didn’t exactly wind up in a great spot after combining himself, did he? Plus, while I'm of the mind that Vecna and the guy we see shape the Mind Flayer are two different dudes (James and Em have other posts about this as well), the way it's presented to us implies that Vecna evolved from the MF guy, so there's a sort of compounding that changes in his appearance from mostly-human to mostly-infected-by-the-UD, which... also doesn't seem great.

We can already see how being infected by the Shadow affects people, which is highlighted in Henry not sleeping and barely eating when he's flayed. Hell, Brenner saw what happened to his father after he returned from Dimension X, and he took the lives of several test subjects (many of them children) in his own experiments. He already knows that there are risks and detractions in this work.

At the very end of this dw episode, Lazarus is finally actually killed. Using the organ in the church, the Doctor amplifies its sound using his Sonic Screwdriver to create "hypersonic sound waves" in order to interfere with Lazarus on a molecular level, which is more or less the same thing he did with his machine. Lazarus falls from a high balcony within the church, disoriented by the noise, and turns back into a human upon death. He even reverts back to his "correct" elderly appearance as the Doctor kneels over him and gently shuts his eyes.

We've already seen something similar to this sort of death with Brenner in st4. While I wouldn't say it was a soft moment for him, since El was still clearly rejecting him, she still leaned into his touch, still listened to him, and clearly was grappling with a lot of messy feelings. She, in that moment, wanted to view him as a monster, but she couldn't. Not entirely. That's her Papa! That's someone who, for most of her life, despite every horrible thing he did, took care of her; who said he loved her and held her best interests at heart.

In my mind, this sort of "soft end" is what we should expect for Brenner and Vecna in st5. It could be even softer than what we see in st4, because as much as Brenner deserves to have his shit absolutely rocked, we've been increasingly shown that he is only human. Human's are not monsters, but humans can do monstrous things. That doesn't make them inhuman. And, as people like James and Em have spoken extensively about lately, Brenner is likely but one cog in the machine that is the Cycles in this show, and not necessarily the source of the cycles to begin with. He didn't pop outta the womb wanting to build a child torture dungeon, but something happened to bring him there and cloud his judgement.

And even if the death is something more intense and dramatic like that of Lazarus, it's not necessarily something to celebrate, yknow? Even if the threat is gone (which is a very good thing), it took many horrible, avoidable things to get there in the first place, and that's what's tragic.

B-B-B-Bonus Round: Just Some Extra Shit

vs "Henry" going missing in Nevada for 12 hours per tfs. Martha has been on several trips with the Doctor thus far, so there's the added bit of "the passage of time is messed up" seeing as, for her, it's been several days, but to everyone else it's only been 12 hours.

All of the above is so... yeah lol. Lazarus is repeatedly very weird to the two young women in this episode, Martha and her sister Tish, and he even rejects his elderly wife in one scene when she kisses him and he tells her to "look at [her]self." The sniffing thing even made me think of the demogorgon being given the trait of "smelling blood" so... I see you, Brennergorgon.

I could've probably fit this bit somewhere above, but I'm too lazy, so it's going here instead. Love a good boiler room setting and talking about sacrifices!

"Always the mothers" just like how Brenner say it was always the mothers who came to him convinced their children had abilities or issues, etc. (plus just a little context for Martha's mom's "dangerous" comment: this season has an overarching hidden plot about the Master, who I touched on in another one of my dw posts, wherein he basically holds political power over the city (hiding the fact that he's a Time Lord) and is trying to sabotage the Doctor).

[jesushatesmyguts]

I always see those "Do I have a type?" thingys on here and people be posting 10 almost identical looking peeps and I'm always '???' 'cause this is my version of 'do I have a type?' (I don't think)

At first I wanted to make this for me only but now that it's done I feel I wanna share. 'Cause serious question, you see a pattern?

This is only part one lol, more to come. There are just too many beautiful dudes

[likerealpeopledo-on-ao3]

20 Qs for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @blackandwhiteandrose!

How many works do you have on ao3?

I have 51 works on Ao3.

What's your total ao3 word count?

728,254

What fandoms do you write for?

I’ve written for The Mindy Project, Gilmore Girls, Schitt’s Creek, and now Fellow Travelers

Top 5 fics by kudos

The More You Know

I swallow the sound (and it swallows me whole)

People like that are the only people here

Such Great Heights

Some Days are Diamonds

Do you respond to comments?

Yes, both literally and figuratively. I try to write a response to everyone but I’ve noticed a pattern recently where I drop off at the end of posting because I have a hard time feeling finished and if I leave some comments unanswered, I never have to say goodbye to a story. Figuratively, comments water my crops and keep me nourished. Without them, my writing brain withers.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably a Mindy Project joint I wrote with @alittlenutjob where Mindy and Danny don’t end up together but Mindy and Peter do.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Probably I swallow the sound, which some people call the stroke fic. No spoilers, but the ending is one of my faves, mostly because I was able to write a joke in it that someone I deeply admire told me was Dan Levy show quality.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far, and let’s please not take that as an invitation lol.

Do you write smut?

Yes.

Craziest crossover

I can’t say I’ve committed to a crossover.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not unless podfic counts as a translation.

Have you ever cowritten a fic?

Yes, multiple times with multiple peeps. I love that process and I think I’m a decent collaborator because people offer to do it again 😂.

All time favourite ship?

David and Patrick will forever float my boat.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Aw, poor Mafia!Pat and accidental marriage in Vegas.

What are your writing strengths?

Emotional arcs, insight into behaviors, wit, warmth, and copious amounts of research to get details right.

What are your writing weaknesses?

My own self-doubt and quickly running out of words to describe kissing and touching. I would love to write smut in an uninhibited manner, but repression!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

If it serves a purpose. I’ve never needed to use it, but I would.

First fandom you’ve written in?

The Mindy Project was the first I ever posted but I wrote fanfic as a kid, not knowing it was fanfic. Nor fandom lol. We shan’t speak of it.

Favourite fic you’ve written?

I would love to say they’re all my children and I can’t choose between them, but ackkkk, I don’t know. I’m happy to have produced all of them and there are none I’d take back or orphan. Some were easier to write than others. Fine! They’re all my children! Don’t make me Sophie’s Choice it!

Tagging @beyondxmeasure @jesterlesbian @sullymygoodname @ramonaflow @dinnfameron @alittlenutjob and anyone else who wants to do it!

[cwarscars]

Ngl that trailer was, a lot to take in (Seeing a pattern here with these trailers lmao) i loved what i saw and seeing the gang was like my own reunion lmao

(( literally - everytime i watch one of the rebirth trailers, i have to then rewatch several times just to like - take - it all in ! but my god, i'm so excited !

( dont get me wrong, scared heidegger will only get 2 mins of screentime - something i understand but am GUTTED by )

but holy shit!

cid looks so amazing! i am concerned about his character and i'm hoping that his whole 'i'll help you uwu' spiel in the trailer is him either taking the piss or after aerith does something for him. after all, i love me a nasty cid. i think because of the kingdom hearts series etc, people think cid is the wholesome dad type character and seem to forget that the guy is a chain smoker who regularly verbally abuses his only friend lol.

vincent looks incredible - i keep seeing peeps say he looks like seph but bro, he looks like rufus! if you gave him blonde hair and blue eyes, he'd legit be rufus. not sure if that's a case of same face courtesy elena / tifa or they wanted him to look similar to rufus. but trust - compare their noses they look super similar!

dyne just...urgh, my heart. i used to write dyne a very long time ago because i love his story and im glad to see that they're largely keeping it the same. LOVE his look and am hoping he kills himself like in the original. we need more powerful punch storytelling like that in games again, i hope they don't wimp out on that.

biggs looks incredible and im interested in the idea of him surviving where the others died. i am a little so-so on the alt timeline stuff. not a fan, didn't care for the whispers etc but im sure i'll appreciate it.

seeing jessie made my heart skip a beat because she looked so lovely and i love @svnsworn's rendition of her and instantly thought of her writing and seeing jessie again and ahhhhhh

im very excited to see characters like cait sith and dio and such - nobody is talking about dio's body but i have taken note of this lol. im also hoping - by seeing this trailer - that aerith does die. i love her but her death is so important and i dont want them to chicken out of fear of fan backlash. i also really liked that the trailer included lines from the original (such as the bugenhagen bit and aerith's line at the end etc).

overall, i am SUPER excited and really looking forward to what they give us. like remake, i dont think it'll be perfect but i do think it'll be wonderful and im crazy hyped to see my childhood memories looking so fresh and beautiful in today's graphics

(also dios hairy chest) ))

[misc-obeyme]

I'm bored, could I draw Ciaran? I study Graphic and Fashion Design, but I draw for fun, and I'm no expert. I love character design, so could you give me some information on Ciaran's appearance and fashion style so I can give it a try?

Give me super-duper ✨️details✨️ appearance and fashion style please!! That would help me a lot.

If you want to ofc.

Of course! Anyone is free to draw any of my OCs/MC whenever they want! I know most of them don't have descriptions adslkfj but I actually spent WAY too many hours making picrews of them all so I could finally create their profile posts. I'm too lazy to make moodboards for everybody like I did for Ciaran and Arsenios.

Oh, anyway, sorry I got a bit off topic there!

You are absolutely welcome to draw Ciaran if you feel so inspired!

OH BOY. You want super duper details, eh? That's like... my specialty lol. Here I go!

Body-wise, Ciaran is on the shorter side for someone who is amab. I tend to think of them as like 5'4" and a half, but they round that up to 5'5" lol. That's pretty average for most people, but Ciaran comes from a family of tall peeps. Plus I think of most of the demons as being between 5'10" and like... 6'4" so comparatively, Ciaran is quite short. They're also chubby. Definitely all soft and round, with a sorta hourglass figure shape. Mostly hips and belly, but nothing crazy proportion-wise.

They're Irish so you know, rather pale. Not really freckled but will get them if they spend a lot of time in the sun.

Naturally black hair, but they dye it blue. This means the color can vary. Since they bleach their black hair to dye it blue, when they've freshly dyed it, it'll be a deeper more vibrant blue. But if it's been a while, it'll be a more sky blue color. It's short, the back goes to maybe the middle of their neck while the front stops around their chin. Side part that varies sides because it's wild. Not curly, but very wavy and just kinda all over the place. It's juuuust long enough to put into a tiny ponytail, which they will do sometimes. But more often if they need it out of their face, they'll clip it back with some kinda cutesy barrette. (I think Asmo has probably given them a ton of these lol.)

Their eyes are mostly dark green with maybe a hint of lighter green in the depths. They're also one of those lucky people who have long eyelashes. And they don't dye their eyebrows, so they're just black. And they're not super thick, but perhaps thicker than average? I'm not super dedicated to that detail, though.

Face is very round, due to the chubby lol. They get their ears pierced while in the Devildom, but they don't start out with that so it just depends. When the ears are pierced, they wear simple studs.

Style-wise, I describe Ciaran's style as hipster with a side of punk. They like corduroy and sweaters, but then they'll wear Converse shoes and leather jackets. Usually wears paint stained overalls when they're painting. They like bright colors so most of their sweaters/t-shirts are blue, yellow, or green. Pretty much always wearing sneakers, I'd say they have a single pair of Converse that are their favorites and they wear those all the time. Probably just black and white.

They carry around a brown leather messenger bag situation where they keep all their stuff.

Known to wear scarves whenever it's even a tiny bit cold and they're all like... plaid lol. Definitely has a preference for green/blue plaid, but will wear red/black plaid as well. Sometimes wears pants with those patterns, too.

When dressing up a little, they'll go with fancy pants, suspenders, and a bow tie with their usual Converse because they care most about comfort.

They often have their nails painted, but the colors vary depending on their mood. (Likely Asmo does this for them when they live in the HoL. Left to his own devices, Ciaran isn't super reliable about repainting his nails so they're often chipped as hell lol.)

HOWEVER. On special occasions, Ciaran will completely glam it up.

For instance, if the demons really want him to get snazzy, he will wear a three piece suit. Like it's kinda he doesn't care about this stuff. Most of the time, they prefer comfort, but if they want to, they can absolutely rock a suit and look good doing it.

Likely they're going to do some glitz with that, though. Wearing gold jewelry and having Asmo do their makeup. Style their hair so it isn't as crazy lol.

And sometimes, Ciaran will also glam it up femme style. This is very much a situation where they let Asmo dress them up, basically. But even back in the human world, they would do this. It usually involved borrowing their sister's clothes, which is funny because she's a lot taller. But Ciaran will just put on some heels and call it good.

When they do stuff like this, they like to get really flashy. So it's all sequins and glitter and such. They'll do their hair in a fancy updo or curl it or something. They definitely like that kinda old school Hollywood glam style. But this is a rare occurrence because they don't care to bother doing it most of the time. And they're also the type who will like... go to bed with a full face of makeup because they're too tired to take it off. And like if they're doing this, you know they're planning on partying.

Anyway, now that I've written an essay's worth about Ciaran's appearance and style, I hope that helps! You asked for details and well... here they are lol!

[ferniliciousness]

Writing Pattern Tag Games

Tagged by the wonderful @nowandthane thank you so much ☺️

Rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern! Y'all making me go back to Wattpad for this lol.

If anyone wants to join a long feel free. Most of my peeps have been tagged already sooooo 😅

Queen of Chaos. "I will give you one last chance. Tell me where she is, and I won't end your sorry little life here." Blood was already trickling down her fingers, her nails embedded into the man's skin, hooked underneath his jawbone, threatening to crush his arteries.

Because of You "Get out of my shop you Blue Sun of a bitch. I don't pay protection to anyone let alone the likes of your dumbass."

Copious Copiar It was the big day, no matter how much I tried to calm myself down I was still nervous. I couldn't mess up today, too much depended on this.

Korrupt Kitties The quiet footfalls of my paws, the branches of the trees blowing against the walls, and the sweet hum of music flowing out the windows filled my ears as I walked along the snow. Sneaking along the walls, I risk a glance into the window, my pupils constricting as I adjust to the light.

Child of Bitterness Bark popped and sparks danced in the roaring fireplace. A woman sat quietly, embroidery in her hand as her husband stood before the flames beside her.

I ran out of things so here's some really bad poetry lol

Absolute Trash (yes that's actually the title lmao)

Mirrors

Happy on the outside doesn't always mean happy on the inside.

Alone on the outside doesn't always mean alone on the inside

Alone

Is it true?

Did he leave you?

Wait

The blade rests upon my skin

I feel the coldness of its breath

Grazing

Three horses grazing in a meadow,

I sit and watch in awe as they go along there way

Cold

Cold and empty

My emotions are a void

There is no rhyme or reason to any of this lmao. Though apparently I do like to start out violent and heavy in the action.

[fitgothgirl]

⬆️ Lovely sunset walk the other day, and the venue of a wedding I went to this past weekend

⬆️ My outfit for said wedding, and more pretty walk views. Not my favorite pic of me but didn’t get a better full body one and I loved my shoes 🥰🕸️🖤 (purchased them a while ago, hadn’t had a chance to wear them yet). The dress and belt were also new!

Hiiieeee I’m still alive. Been enjoying some time away from social media again. Most times I get the compulsion to click on tumblr or Reddit or something, I just click Solitaire or Wordscapes instead. And times when I have clicked on social media have been fairly short sessions before I remember why I stay away.

Of course I do always miss tumblr peeps... 🖤 That’s always the biggest downside of these breaks.

Went to the gym the day before yesterday for yet another “kicking out the cobwebs” session. Last workout was 4/2, and before that my last one was 3/22, etc... Bit of a pattern haha. But I’m already planning to get back today! I don’t want to keep doing this once-every-1-to-3-weeks thing. It’s better than nothing of course but I want to be doing at least twice a week... Ideally 3 times a week, but I’ll take fewer days first while just getting some friggin consistency down.

Therapy is going well, I wish I could see her more than every other week but it’s okay as it is for now. I’m still trying to get my official ADHD diagnosis and am in the process of switching psychiatrists at the service I use. But in the meantime my therapist sent me a couple links to sites for ADHD assessment that she’s pretty sure the psychiatrist will refer me to anyway (therapist and psychiatrist are from the same telehealth service). I tried one and it let me know it’d be a 60-90 minute process that I’d do on my own and then someone would reach out to me to schedule an appointment for me to talk to a doctor. The very first thing of this assessment was a page that just said “In your own words, please tell us more about why you are here, and your long term goals” and it had a blank area for me to type with no character limit... I was like ohhhohohooo wow... Where to begin... They’re going to get an essay from me. But it also just triggered some major overwhelm-shutdown too. The irony of it is great. I’ll need to get in the zone to tackle this, but it did warn me it’d be up to 90 minutes; we’ll see if I even stay within that lol.

Otherwise with therapy, I’ve been good about doing my “homework.” I keep a little post-it on my desk’s hutch near my monitor so I see a bullet point list of the key things for me to remember until the next appointment. Those are my priorities and anything else is just bonus. Some things don’t get done but that’s to be expected - she says if I always did 100% in everything then she’d ask if I was really being honest lmao. But no self-deprecation or guilt allowed!

Weather has been beautiful and I’ve been spending time outside, either in the backyard or going for walks. One thing my therapist brought up with me when I was talking about wanting to get 10,000 steps a day since it’s so good for so many things, was that it’s a little unrealistic to expect myself to suddenly do something every single day when I’m hardly ever doing it to begin with. My Fitbit makes me want to hit daily goals but what other habit changes would I expect to suddenly do daily? Most of the time we try to do new things once or twice a week or whatever. Kind of was like an aha moment for me and helped lessen the guilt of how much I struggle to get that done. So now my daily step goal is 5,000, which is still a little more than I’d get just sitting around all day, so that’s a good goal. And for 10,000 steps, for now I’m aiming to hit that once a week. I’ve dedicated Tuesdays for that. And if I get it more days than that, then great! And I’ve actually gotten 10,000 steps on 5 out of the last 10 days... 😳 Plus another day of 9,000. Funny how that works lol.

We had a slender salamander in our backyard 😭 Look at him legs do steppies!!!! 🥺🥺 Also peep my bf helping take off the thing stuck to him lol. We’re in a moderately dense suburb-ish area so we don’t get much besides some birds and the usual stuff. Wonder where he came from and where he went…

I could probably keep going, but I’ll end this essay here for now lol.

[ghost-town-story]

Hi hello it is time for the first of the lore dumps! Decided to do this as a lil worldbuilding wednesday series lol. So without further ado, it's time to talk about some Apocalypse Surivival :D

Have a cut to spare y’all’s dashes, and also because mild content warnings for mentions of human experimentation and all the fun jazz that comes with an apocalypse

(also hi @smol-feralgremlin since you wanted to be tagged <3)

Just so you know what you’re getting into, none of the Apocalypse Survival characters have names yet. I’m thriving :P

Anyhoot, time for premise/basic worldbuilding and then on into the detailed rambling

Apocalypse Survival is a dual timeline story, tentatively titled something along the lines of 6 Days because each timeline covers 6 days. It’s a vaguely futuristic setting where the government has been experimenting on children and bonding them to animals, causing both to develop superpowers. Both timelines follow [Squirrel], a girl bonded with a fox squirrel. The first timeline takes place pre-apocalypse, and the second is 6 years after the apocalypse happens.

There’s a couple other child experiment pairs who play some part in the story:

[Cobra], bonded with a Mozambique spitting cobra, who can breathe/spit poison

[Penguin], bonded with a Magellanic penguin, who can control ice

[Possum], bonded with a Virginia opossum, who causes things around them to decay (this one’s for Andi lol)

[Cat], bonded with a Bombay cat, who can control shadows

[Fox], bonded with a red fox, who can control fire

[Duck], bonded with a red-billed teal, who can control air

and my favorite boi, [Bear], who’s bonded with a grizzly bear and can manipulate earth

(and some real quick distinctions, i’mma add a -h if I’m talking about the human and a -a for the animal. so Cat-h is the human, Cat-a is the kitty)

Now if you’re looking at this and betting money on these kids being the cause of the apocalypse, congrats, you’d be right. Specifically, Fox and Duck are the catalysts of the apocalypse in a way.

Due to the people in charge of these kids having terminal cases of “not giving a shit”, Fox-h and Duck-a end up dying, which hella traumatizes their partners and eventually causes them to “go feral”. In this context, that means losing control of their powers and going hellbent on revenge against those responsible for their partners’ deaths (aka the scientists/government peeps in charge of them). And once the still-living partner goes feral, there’s no way to reverse it. Fox-a goes feral basically right away, and Duck-h goes feral very publicly, with a lot of collateral damage.

After that, due to the large amount of public, negative scrutiny they’re under, the director decides to shut down the project and dispose of (read: kill) the experiments. However, due to a miscommunication or three down the line, the people carrying out the “disposals” don’t know about the possibility of the kids or animals going feral.

So, several superpowered humans and animals going feral at nearly the exact same time + giving absolutely no fucks about the collateral damage they’re causing = apocalypse scenario *jazz hands*

Among the key players 6 years on when the second timeline starts are Cobra-h, Penguin-h, Possum-a, Cat-a, and Bear-h.

And then I got attached to Bear-h and got sad thinking about how he was doomed by the narrative so I made a fluffy AU where they all survive so! time for some rapid-fire fun facts taken from both canon and the fluffy AU, mostly centering around Squirrel-h and Bear-h bc I love them (all names from here on out referring to the humans unless otherwise stated bc I’m lazy lol)

There’s a couple of characters who got replaced/shoved into way minor roles because of pacing/dealing with their powers/arbitrary patterns that only I care about lol. But here they are!

[Hummingbird]: the initial fifth feral experiment. She got yeeted due to pacing, nearly brought back, then yeeted again bc of the arbitrary patterns lol. She has the power to create illusions, and she will get mentioned at the beginning of the apocalypse

[Otter] never went feral, and appears in a potential epilogue. She was going to have a slightly bigger role, but that got scrapped due to the arbitrary patterns. She’s bonded with a sea otter, and they can create pocket dimensions.

[Wolf] was the initial character created when I decided to add back the fifth feral experiment but not Hummingbird bc of patterns, but he ultimately got replaced by Cat because I couldn’t figure out a good way to deal with his powers. He’s a northwestern wolf, and he can yell real loud lol. Like Hummingbird, he’ll get mentioned at the beginning of the apocalypse

Speaking of Otter, a fact that’ll definitely never make it into the story proper: they avoided the “disposals” by putting Otter-h in a pocket dimension, while Otter-a escaped the labs through the vents

And the potential epilogue: Squirrel runs into Otter, says something like “Oh I like your skirt” Otter: “Thanks! And the best part is--” *pulls Otter-a out of a pocket dimension* “--it has pockets!!”

Squirrel has vitiligo, and Cobra has patches of hyperpigmentation

Squirrel is maybe 5′2″ as an adult and very wiry and thin. Which means next to Bear she looks absolutely tiny because Bear is well over 6′ and built like a tank lol

Along those lines, the only oversized clothing Squirrel likes to wear is Bear’s hoodies. In the summer this leads to situations like Some person: Are you even wearing pants? Squirrel: *lifts the hoodie until you can see her shorts* Person: ........ alright I guess

Since he’s bonded with a grizzly, Bear does hibernate. Since he’s still human though, he’ll periodically wake up through the winter to eat and take care of himself. Squirrel is the only person allowed to wake him up for anything other than food.

Squirrel is allergic to pineapples. She only figures this out by eating one and nearly dying.

Bear’s favorite food is blueberries. He will absolutely inhale everything blueberry in the vicinity if given the chance. In the fluffy AU, Squirrel always makes sure there’s blueberries around when he wakes up from hibernation. In canon, she leaves the first blueberries of the season by his den, and in their last scene together, she gives him a handful of them.

Squirrel and Penguin like to go ice sledding during the winter

Squirrel is bad at conceptualizing time. If somebody asks her questions like “how old are you?” or “how long since x?” she’ll look at Bear like “answer for me pls” because he actually knows his age, has an approximation of her age compared to him, and can keep track of time better.

Because of her powers (which I’m keeping a secret for now), Squirrel gets really bad nightmares. The moment he finds out about this, Bear insists that she wakes him up whenever she has one. This is how Squirrel gets her initial permission to wake Bear up when he’s hibernating

I made a couple picrews! First up: my duo that I love so much, Squirrel and Bear

And, cuz they're the only other characters I currently have something of a mental picture of, have a Cobra and Penguin

(Penguin is absolutely a dapper lil penguin in canon and wears a suit everywhere)

~

Bear realizes first just how much he cares about Squirrel. He’s spent his whole life being a good experiment, swallowing down complaints and whimpers and growls, thinking “this is fine, this is okay, this is how things are supposed to be.” But then he sees Squirrel going through the same things, biting back whimpers and tears and screams, and he absolutely hates it. He’d do anything to protect her, to make sure she never cries like that again. Some nights, he’s afraid of how far he’d go to that end.

It takes Squirrel a long time to realize why she likes spending so much time around Bear, why his room, his den, his side is the first place she goes whenever anything, good or bad, happens. Because whenever the world got chaotic and scary and overwhelming, he was a constant, reassuring presence at her side or just a short walk away. Because he's the one who comforted her through her nightmares, and the one who ran hand in hand with her to jump off the end of the dock that first summer. And because the first time she ever felt truly safe was falling asleep and waking up by his side.

~

One important requirement for being friends with Bear was to have a proper appreciation of naps. And this moment, with her head resting on Bear's chest and the sunlight filtering through the leaves to warm her face, was a perfect moment to consider a nap. Except for the fact that there had been a thought nagging at Squirrel, refusing to leave her alone like a particularly stubborn briar.

Squirrel sighed, then turned her head. “Hey Bear?”

“Mmmmmhm.” Bear yawned and opened his eyes. “You need something?”

“What do you want?”

Bear blinked slowly, once, twice. “Another muffin.”

Squirrel poked his cheek. “You ate most of the box yourself.”

“You asked,” Bear replied, turning his head in a half-hearted attempt to bite her fingers. “And I always want more blueberries.”

“Of course you do.” Squirrel poked his cheek again. “But that’s not what I meant.”

Bear’s chest rumbled with a questioning noise that Squirrel felt more than heard.

“I mean...” Squirrel fumbled over her words. “What do you want?” she repeated, hoping Bear would understand the emphasis this time.

Bear hummed softly, absentmindedly running his hand across Squirrel’s hair. “What do you want?” he asked instead. “Because I think my answer may depend on yours.”

“I--” Squirrel didn’t like this feeling, like she was perched on a branch that wouldn’t support her weight and she didn’t know which way to jump to safety. She took a breath, steeled herself, and jumped.

“No. What-do-you-want?” She punctuated each word with a poke to Bear’s chest. “Just you. Not worrying about me or anybody else.”

Bear hummed again. Squirrel tried not to fidget while waiting for his reply.

“This.”

Squirrel started, a surprised and confused noise escaping her throat.

Bear waved his hand broadly, encompassing the leaves overhead and the sunlight dappling through and the world they were ignoring just past the boundary of the trees. “This,” he repeated. “Freedom. You right here. Waking up next to you in my den. If that’s what you want.” His hand fell back to the leaves by Squirrel's side, and when he looked at her, Squirrel felt like she was drowning in honey, warm and sweet. “So?” he asked, the unspoken what do you want? hanging in the air between them.

Squirrel slid her hand into Bear's, wrapping her fingers around his palm. “This,” she admitted. “I was just afraid you wouldn't, now that we actually have a choice.”

Bear's chest rumbled with a laugh. “I've always chosen you, even when I wasn't supposed to,” he said. “That much hasn't changed.”

“Good.” Squirrel squeezed his hand.

[claudiajcregg]

Hoo boy, I'm behind on tagged stuff. (After this, I owe the last line I've written, the 8 tv shows, and who knows what else!) But this one was rather easy, even if formatting took me longer than I thought.

Tagged by the incredibly talented @onekisstotakewithme, whose stuff you should absolutely read because she's so good. (And prolific, too!) Thank you, Ally <3

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

I have eleven (for now? hopefully?) and I'll put them under a cut because this might get long for my mobile peeps. (I'm not the best at first lines. Or all that follow. I noticed a pattern, lol.)

Tagging anyone who wants to do it, of course! Feel free to ignore it if you don't want to do it, or if you've been already been tagged, etc. I probably missed some posts here and there. ♥️ @miabicicletta, @ballroompink, @holy-ships-x-red-lips, @district447, @eyes-onthehorizon

From most recent to oldest. They are all for The West Wing. Will I come out of this hating my writing even more? We'll see!

still you never took your hand from mine

The idea of writing a book by herself had always felt like this thing she wasn’t sure she wanted to do, at least not at that point in her life. 

The (in)famous memoir fic. CJ starts writing a memoir while pregnant with her first child.

haunted by the notion somewhere there's a love in flames

Filomena Ristorante was an enchanting establishment she hadn’t heard of until earlier this afternoon. 

Set during CJ and Danny's business dinner in S1. It's two chapters long!)

just your smile lit a 60-watt bulb in my house that was darkened for days

When the President summoned her to the Oval Office on Tuesday, the last thing C.J. was expecting was for him to invite her to their Thanksgiving festivities up in the Residence — that was, if she didn’t have plans already.

Thanksgiving 2006 in the Residence, with a dash of thanks and trivia. CJ/Danny, with Jed/Abbey, Josh/Donna, Charlie/Zoey

don't want you to go but I'll be okay

The flight back to Andrews Air Force Base had been pushed back until the morning for various reasons; not least of which had been avoiding a repeat of everyone’s protests on the way to Portland due to the late departure time.

C.J. finds some unexpected closure when she goes out for dinner during the Portland trip. (Yes, I'm copying some of the summary for some of these, lol.)

I'll be your friend in the daylight again

If C.J. was asked to name whatever meetings she had been a part of this week, she would fail.

C.J. and her complicated feelings about her NSC card resurface once Josh gets his during the Santos administration. (No, but I'm actually surprised by how accurate and succinct some of these summaries are.)

catch my pieces as they fall apart

His beautiful wife was sad and exhausted and likely sick, and Danny didn’t know how to take her pain away.

After her father passes away, C.J. grapples with grief and what her future might hold.

say it's here where our pieces fall in place

The sun over the plains was unforgiving on this late winter day.

A series of glimpses into C.J. and Danny’s lives, together and apart, from 1998 to 2008. It's 11 chapters!

we could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it

The second the call with Hogan disconnected, she stopped walking around the secluded garden area and was hit with a cold breeze she wasn’t prepared for.

St. Augustine, FL; spring of 1998. C.J. wrestles with her burgeoning feelings for Danny when she runs into him outside a campaign event.

maybe everything's turning out how it should be

This wasn’t the same without Leo.

As a way to honor his late mentor, Josh brings back Leo’s Big Block of Cheese tradition during the Santos Administration. Unbeknownst to him, he ends up having a special crackpot meeting of his own. (This has implied CJ/Danny and Josh/Donna.)

all's well that ends well to end up with you

The sun was setting over the small mountain range in the distance, coloring the sky with a pink-orange hue that was breathtaking. 

C.J. and Danny find a moment of quiet in a hectic day and reflect about how they got to where they are. Their wedding. It's set after their wedding.

... and +1, because I felt bad leaving it behind

maybe we'll sleep here covered in star shine

At four in the morning, the sky was beautifully dark with just the slightest hint of the day that would soon start on the horizon. 

On a sleepless night, C.J. finds herself staring at the stars and reminiscing about her childhood.

[rttnpnkpmpkn]

good day/evening OP! got a question if you don’t mind! how long have you been drawing art? and what keeps you motivated to draw? do you also do commissions? and do you ever feel tired or exhausted staying in one fandom?

thanks for answering! take your time and you don’t have to answer these if you’re not comfortable ☺️

((btw anon here is in early 20’s just to be clear ^^))

Good evening/day, Anon! And thanks for clarifying your age, as it really does mean a lot 🙏💖

No problem at all to answer these! For drawing, traditionally, it’s ever since I got my hands on my first set of crayons as a babby.

1) If it’s digitally, I started doing more of that when I bought my first surface pro tablet with the remaining art scholarship money at 18-19 years old back in 2015, I believe! Medibang was a game changer because I felt it was a good starter drawing software when I couldn’t afford Paint Tool Sai at the time (I eventually bought a license for Clip Studio instead because of a friend’s recommendation lol).

2) What motivates me to draw? I have many reasons. First one to spite a kindergarten classmate who said my drawing of a Pokémon wasn’t good xD (don’t remember which). Second, to tell stories because I couldn’t write a cohesive plotline. Third, it’s the cheapest entertainment I got lol.

I remember I tried to adapt excepts from the novels I read into comic form and they were pretty fun. Especially when I was inspired by the 39 Clues fanart in the wiki page at the time.

I think if people online made them look fun, it makes me wanna join in too, and that makes me forget that my skills suck~ Which is very important in having the motivation to draw. When focusing on quality, or perfectionism , I tend to be very harsh towards myself, which what leads to my occasional art blocks.

3) Ay I do commissions, but currently closed atm! I still have two more to go and thus, I promise myself not to reopen until I get them done!

You can find the list in my Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/rttnpnkpmpkn/commissions

I may have to increase the prices a bit to account for inflation, which is disappointing but every penny counts in this trying times sorry! qwq

4) It depends! While I can enjoy a content for as long as I can before I move on to the next, the main deciding factor is whether to be involved in a community.

Every fandom I came across as a lurker always seem to follow a pattern, so I’m very reserved in joining new communities socially.

I came for the experience, so I gotta make the most out of it before I do leave to find my next hyper fixation. I’m drawing until I can find my “finale” if that makes sense ^^;

Peeps can come and go in a fandom, but inspo strikes when no one asks!

For the particular fandom I’m in, It’s definitely a mixed bag, but I’ll focus on the positives!

I have many things to be grateful for as they’re the ones who got me out of an art rut for the past year and so. I learn so many new skills and life lessons from them, where I couldn’t imagine it being any different if I didn’t meet them otherwise. I met the nicest peeps who made me forget I’m not too fond of group chats, and were very nice and supportive in their own way!

I’m returning the favor for the inspo they brought me as it’s the least I can do ^^

Also, I never truly leave a fandom, I just wander around as a lurker until I find a reason to come back again. I don’t really make an account dedicated to a specific fandom, because they don’t usually last long, so I tend to sample from other places to make the candle last longer. It wasn’t obvious mostly because I was more of a lurker then and an OC artist xD

I began drawing lots of fanarts mainly because peeps made drawing pr0n for a stickman fun 🤣

Hope that answers your question, and thank you for your time! 🙇💖