#you might have just cured every illness ive ever had | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

grimoire-of-seven · 5 years ago

Note

Because I’m an angsty bitch, could you do a head cannons from the seven with a terminally ill MC? Or at least really, really sick. Thanks! Love your writing 💕

PROMPT: “If Only We Could Have More Time…”

Rating: SFWWords: 600-700Characters: Demon Boys + MC / Gender-Neutral ReaderNotes: Hi! I tried not to make the situation all much worse by means of pressing too hard with the subject in a sense, but to end it with something both parties could cherish. I hope you will all enjoy it!~Oh! And this is written in their perspective.~

Lucifer

Shit..Shit..Shit..

F*ck..

Screwsaving face, the Avatar of Pride himself soon began sprinting through the palehallway, missing to register himself by the lobby as his eyes were fixated bythe red beaming light under the sign; emergency room.

It was imprudentto put his phone to silent at his meeting with the prince of Devildom. Heshould have known better not to… otherwise, he would have read your messagehalf an hour ago, their voice replaying in his mind as his feet quicken itspace.

“Heyumm.. Luci? I know itis a bad time to call you.. but umm.. I’ll be having my operation again in anhour according to the doctor. I hope you’ll take it easy with those meetings and take care!”

“I’msorry sir but you could not enter from this point on. I’m afraid you have towait at the waiting area.”

“But Ineed to see them! Are they already there?” The light-bringer tried to reasonwith the man in a white coat but to no avail. His fears only heightened whenthe doctor reminded him of the day’s operation and how it could grave it couldgo further..

“They do tend to get worse every cycle..”“Why?”“Because each infusion gets harder and the doctors say that Ishould expect that I’ll get weaker every moment.”“Then why place yourself in that situation..?”

Thosebitter words clung into the air as the embodiment of Pride could no longer holdhis composure as one of the nurses by the station assisted him to take a seat.With his fingers entwined together, letting his chin rest on it, his feetclearly indicate how uneased his spirit was as the sole continues to move upand down as though it were to pounce to the emergency room.

Lookingthrough his surroundings, there were also people under his shoes. Hands claspedtogether with their forehead close to it, mumbling under their breath as thoughthey are talking to…

God?

Prayingat every second spared before the judgment on the other door. And…

Should he do the same?

“Ma’amChase?”“Yes?”“Yourdaughter is doing fine now. The operation was a success thanks to Dr. Pomatter.”“Oh thankGod! Can I go see her now?”“Yes, ma’am!This way.”

Thank God?They are thanking… Father?

He hadresented any forms of communications within the Celestial Realm, only forming aprofessional relation to Simeon and Luke under Diavolo’s rule yet… why are histhoughts claiming otherwise?

No.Why should he ask for mercy?He is Lucifer.The eldest and the leader of his pack.A fallen angel to whom prowess never left, despite his glorytainted by the burning sulfur.Yet here he was, incapable to put Death far back on his drawingboard for picking his human for its next kill.Unable to take his human out of it…

Takinghis focus away from the mortals that surrounded the waiting area, thetelevision played a soap opera and with no remote to control its channels, itwas projecting a tragic scene with the woman dead on her lover’s arms.

What if their life would be cut shorter than it already is becauseof this operation?

Could he ever digest the thought that within those times they weretogether, he did not spend it wisely because…Because he let his pride in between? Because he considered hisreputation more than..

Closinghis eyes once more, taking in a series of deep breaths, he, the Avatar ofPride, has always seen the display of empathy as a visage of helplessness andit was their little exchange student that demonstrated it to him otherwise.

Nonetheless,with his human weak.. why should he too, present himself in the same conditionjust because of his worries?

It wouldnot be right.He doesnot want to see his human frown just so his face is.

Maybe there is something he could do.. He thought to himself. Ifhe could not bail his human out of the cold-lighted room, perhaps he could maketheir stay un-cold. Something that could make him see them smile again.

Lookingthrough the window as the room itself has proven itself unable to distract thedemon on his own thoughts drowning his own rationality, there was a signagebeaming with fluorescent lights that made him stand and read;

“Seven..Eleven..”“I wonderif there have any ice cream there..”

Mammon

For being the Avatar of Greed, he sure do brag about bein’ their little human’s first to ever make a pact with. He ain’t letting it pass on as just that.

Just to see his brothers sneer and hiss from mentioning it.

It’s like this bullet that could penetrate even to the thickest skull out there.

An accomplishment and for once, it was a pact he felt that wasn’t a curse. The witches should def. take down some notes from his human~

Yet…

He thought to himself…

There’s no one like his human.

Recalling how his human would ride along to every trouble he creates, every idea he makes, it was this exchange student who was only staying a year that somehow, taught him companionship. And…

He couldn’t take it out of his chest, that he, the Great Mammon, had failed them.He was their first demon to ever make a pact with yet he didn’t do much being one.Perhaps, thinking now, most of them did more than he.Showed more care. Provided more care.And all he did was to get himself out of troubles and the consequences of his actions.Correction: It’s his human that would bail him out… like a mom.

But then, was there anything he could do to being with?

“Dang.. How much am I going to pay you now?”

His human has never even once mentioned of this illness resulting to Death..Well, all diseases would lead to Death but not with this higher rate of going to Death.It‘s like a parade to Death with his human the star of the show.

“I knew I should have bought Boardwalk the moment I landed on it the first time round!”

Maybe he should be the one to blame here.Maybe he didn’t ask more. Known them better.To think even money could betray him because there’s no known cure yet for them.Just like what the doctor said.

“Rent revenue of 50 dollars plus a three houses, umm..”

“Mammon?”

…

“Mammoney?”

…

“MonMon!”

“Ya?” Clearing his headspace, the Great Demon of hell went straight to his Boardwalk card. Sure thing that the visit was expensive. He’s getting all the money from this human plus his property, that’s… for sure..

“Is there something wrong?” they asked, their eyes piercing and hoisting only the truth on the sea of lies, he had come up of saying; “For you not to be interested with mone–“

“I wish I could have known this sooner..”

“Mammon..”

“I could have not wasted your time too much with tossing you from one chaos to another.. and—“

“Mammon…” taking his hand with theirs to entwine with, their little cash-based board game folded in half as they inched closer;

“Why didn’t you ask me to make it go away?”

Did his voice just crack?

“Mammon..”

“I’m the first demon ya got to make a pact with. I got some witches and we might have been able to conjure some potion to get ya ou—“

“Because I just want to spend my time with you..

I do not want our time to be spent on looking for a cure when we could have so much more fun alone.”

Pause.

“Before meeting you, for a while, I was in your shoes too. Looking for a cure that was not there and I am glad that I snapped out of it meeting you.”

“Ummm…” the Avatar of Greed gulped down.

Did he just screw up?

“Because if it were not for you, I would not have enjoyed living. Having fun. Making troubles. I felt alive.”

For someone whose lifeline is in the near end… a demon, a particular avatar of Greed demon could only comprehend so little. Here was a human, frail and like the money he knows would soon be gone out of his pocket, talking of living life to the fullest with him..

Because of him…

“So.. are we still playin’ Monopoly or we’ll just snuggle ‘til the nurse bails you out of visitation hours?”

Leviathan

“What do you think we should play next?” Looking to his rightside, his little human was watching intently at the monitor of his laptop,completely ecstatic as he was able to defeat the final boss of the game. He wasable to manage to get through the final boss because of the UR armour pieceshis human was able to pick whenever he has to decide which crate he should openafter completing another level.

“Shall we go for.. Ruri-Chan Idol or A!3?”

“Whatever you decide on, Levi! As long as I’ll get to watch you.”

His eyes tried not to leave theirs but with his eyes inevitablytracing the cord from the IV down to their hands, injected for how long theycould have been admitted, playing video games became much more of a distractionfor him than it was for his human.

“Levi?”

“Y-y-yes?”

Making his eyes return to the person staring back at them, hecould definitely see a glistening spark as their lips curled, reaching theirears.

“Are you afraid of needles?”

Needles?Afraid of needles?Why would he be afraid of needles?

“Me? Afraid of needles? ROFL LMAO. The only thing I’m afraid of isnot having enough diamonds to purchase another UR Ruri-chan for the next event.”

It wasnot the needle that he was afraid of..But rather, on how swollen their hands are.It must have taken a lot from them..

“Then why are you looking at it like it’s some boss level at oneof your video games?”

Just as there were no room left to insert an excuse from hisinventory, he shifted his attention back to his folder of video-games that hewas able to install for offline playing purposes when he heard them laugh oncemore.

“Look at my hand, Levi! It looks like a balloon. I can’t move it..”

“Let me get the nurse then.”

“Why aren’t you saying ‘lol’ or ‘lmao’?”

Leviathan dead-panned looked at his human for quite some time, hiseyes fixated on theirs going to their hand and back again;

“You want me to lol when your hand looks like it weighs a ton?! Ifthis were an otome game, your intimacy with me would go down!”

“I am just kidding.. hahaha”

That laugh. That silly laugh that even a shut-in could not helpbut be flustered every time his ears are graced with it.

“I already rung the nurse station. Someone would come assist meanytime soo-“

“Good day, how could I be of assistance, sir?”

A woman dressed in all white looked at him before it was able todetect the cause of her call.

Her hands soon untangled the weave by his patient’s left hand, askingto keep their hand still as a ball of cotton soon veiled how the needle wasejected from…

And that was when he turned away from the scene and gave the nursesome space as he went through once more to his file of games..

Whichgame would best distract me?

He could always trust his video games.Video games has always shut him out of facing the outside world.Had always been his comfort blanket.But with him always in this comfort blanket, could he be truly there to supporthis human?

“You could look now, Levi!”

Why arethey smiling? What is there to smile? One hand told to be careful and anotherstuck on a board so it would not bend and have the needl—Maybe he is, sort of, afraid of the needle…Because of how it could be dangerous to them!

“How could you be so chill in all of this?”

“Because, I’m used to it?”

“But you see me with every boss level. Yes, I am used to gameshaving boss level but it is still different..”

“Well.. it was quite painful..”

Then whyare you so chill about it?Is this perhaps.. jealousy with how their human could handle things that ademon couldn’t?Him shutting in and them.. facing it?

“But today, I feel fine today.~”

“How come?” the Avatar of Envy looked once more to their hands,knowing how their left hand would soon be swollen too after a couple of IVs anddays..

“Because I have you.~”

Thishuman..

Sensing his cheeks go crimson red in heat, he tried concealing hisface with one hand, hearing once more that silly laugh, making him moreflustered. “Warn me next time when you’ll go cheesy, human.”

“How about this.. I’ll play a game and you will watch whileresting on my shoulders.”

“What will you be playing?”

“Do you have that game where the owner of a fast-food restaurantof chickens in a dating simulator?”

Satan

“Sorry, I’m late.”

Watching his human finish the last spoonful of their supper andpausing a video from their phone, it was prominent to his tone how angry he wasto himself. Mixed with frustration as his efforts of spending more time at thelibrary, looking at every bookcase for a book with a solution to theircondition, wasted as he found none.

Of all the spells and ancient writings, Devildom is provided with,none could enlighten the Avatar of Wrath on how he could just make theirillness non-existent which only added fuel to the fire considering how there isa book that could swap two entities to the other’s bodies but none about makinga mortal’s terminal illness gone.

“What were you listening to?”

Trying to put the subject or reason of his tardiness to rest bymeans of bringing up another conversation, right now, what the devil wants, isto turn his brain from overthinking off, and more on thinking about them.

“Oh! I was listening to a podcast with a holographic fanatic.”They beamed as though they had spent their time fruitful compared to his. “Youlook a bit tired..”

“A bit tired?”

Are hiseyebags prominent once more? He most definitely would not like to put his humanin worries or to even look tired.That he took from Lucifer.

“But still pretty charming.~”

“Now that is cheesy.”

Putting the food tray and the food container that looks similar tothose at the cafeteria away and near to the door, he saw his human shiftingmore towards their left, a clear invitation for him to be nearer, resulting toSatan putting his coat by the sofa readily available for a visitor.

“What was the podcast about?” He asked as he kept on shifting toattain that perfect and comfortable position to lie down next to them. The bedwas not relatively bad, much to his surprise.

“Just mundane stories that I just missed while being in here.”

If only asickness could tremble and run with his wrath, he would have done it in a snap.Why does sickness have to constrict someone from living?Especially them?

“I’d rather hear about you.~”

Surprised, his features were much more of confusion, somethingthat made his little human laugh and smile as though they were not in such confinedsituations.

“About me?”

“Mhmm!”

There itis again. Those kitty-like eyes.Those eyes that would make him fall for them once more.And make his cheeks flustered and in heat.

“What about me?”

“Anything. Childhood, fondest memories, life as a student..anything! I just want to hear more about you.”

“There is nothing to tell.”

“Eh?”

“Well, there is nothing interesting about me, darling.”

“Don’t say that!”

Hethought he was the Avatar of Wrath..But with his human angry at his reply..He could be dethroned with that title and just be the VP of being the Avatar ofGreed.

“You are interesting!”

“Darli—“

“You truly are! You are interesting to me.”

Interestingto me.

Sensing his ears getting hotter and hotter, he looked up by thepale ceiling, the fan spinning round and round when he felt an arm wrap aroundhis abdomen, warmth coursing through; “Pleeeeaase?”

“All right, all right. Maybe I could tell you how Asmodeus taughtme how to lie to save a kitty.”

“Yay!”

Asmodeus

“Asmo?”

Sensing his fingersentwined further to theirs, the Avatar of Lust fluttered his eyes open, seeingtheirs holding a reflection of himself making his body jerked itself to functionand boost up at once.

“You’re awake!”

How long was he asleep?

“Good morning, beautiful.~”

Beauty?Now now, little human..Let the Avatar of Lust handle the flirting.Although hearing their compliment was definitely more boosting than any reserved slot or timefor spas and saunas.

“How are you feeling,dear?”

Looking through his phone,it was already 4am by his lockscreen, garnering how the Beauty himself wouldalready have underbags on his eyes. But that is something a cold slice ofcucumber and sleep would cure. Unlike theirs, where the operation was rather concerning in regards of how their body would take it. How the body will heal and take in the changes..

“How long have you beenhere, Asmo?”

This human..When will they ever learn to answer before asking?

“Just an hour ago. Then Ifell asleep instantly.~”

Lies.He had been there for hours and perhaps a day?It had been so long since he moved from his seat from their operation and truthbe told..His buns.. his “ass”ets are kinda flat by now.Nevertheless..He would not miss being the first demon his human would see when they wake up.Never.

And to think he was out-waken by his human.

“Was there a nurse thatcame to visit me?”

“There was one that replacedyour IV and checked pressure while ago.”

Both eyes were soon by theIV with its fluid contents were nearly empty, something his lies however, couldnot cover.

“Wow.. Only a while ago withmy IV already up to be replaced? Asmodeus..”

Oops?

“Fine..I have been here formore than a while..”

Pouting their lips with theireyes gazing afar from his to the round décor by the wall, it was evident how hehad spent overnight beside them without any flinch or reconsidering even tomove from his seat before he could see his reflection once more on their eyes.

“You have dark circlesunder your eyes already.. Do you want to switch places? I will take a seat andyou will lie down on my bed?”

“You are not yet advised toeven sit up, darling.” The demon argued. “Dark circles could be remediedeasily.”

This human just woke up and their first concern is him?Or more specifically, his looks..Truth be told, the same could be said with him but They now come in second.His main priority is them.

“But..”

“No buts now, dear.”

Smiling seeing theirfeatures an upside down reaction to his, he nudged his seat closer to them, hesoon let his pressed his lips against their forehead before stroking a fewstrands of their hair that were, unfortunately, bit too sleek to his liking;

“Darling?”

“Hmm?”

“Want me to help you.. wash?”

“Asmo!”

Blushing at his suggestion,it was more of a concern rather than his usual evocative invitationsconsidering how several cords would hinder the progress, not to mention how thenurse would dutifully remind him of how their hand where it is injected to,should remain unmoved otherwise, blood will come out and ascend to the tube;

“I am quite serious.”

“Eh?!”

“I could wash my darlingbefore breakfast. What do you say?”

“Asmo…”

Finding this all amusing,it was quite difficult to put the talk into a more serious tone but with thenurse coming in an hour or two for their breakfast, it seems the Avatar of Lusthas to surrender it all;

“I could get a towel and abowl so you could work clean yourself while I will be in charge of cleaning anddrying it What were you thinking, silly?.”

“Oh..”

“It looks like someone ishaving a different idea. We could always do that.~”

“Asmo!”

Oh it is good to have them back.

Beelzebub

“Is this what they have inthe cafeteria?”

It was then, that even theAvatar of Gluttony found food unappetizing. They were looking rather bland andfrom the faces of the people eating, they seem to care more about filling inthe void there is at their guts rather than actually enjoying the food.

He would most certainly beable to tolerate it, especially when he sensed his tummy rumble when his palmrested on it but, for his human to also have the same experience?

It was a big no-no.

With an hour and a halfbefore the nurse or staff would give their meal for the noon, the Avatar ofGluttony followed his second brain to scout and find stores that sells betterfood.

Tastier food.

Just the thought of it hadhis stomach grumble as his nose then sniffed out, making several stops near thehospital’s vicinity, surprised with what mortals could do with simple and fewingredients that the demon presumes to be readily available.

Perhaps he should come around and know their delicacies more?He had always heard stories from them about some food that are spoken not tohis language despite being Gluttony himself.

With goodies in a largebag, truth be told, he was not accustomed to what his person would call “terminalillness”. It was a shock and the thought of it became overwhelming. His pacewere gradually slower as his mind could not erase their confession of theirailment, how they warned him, but did he listen?

He did.But he did not want to let it hinder them.And he will never let it be.

…

“That’s all for you?!”

At this point..

His eyes were fixated ontheirs, breaking its trance with the sound of the door shutting, making hiseyes travel lower down to their figure. They have been getting thinner thanthey were when they were introduced, having his rear colored with dark blues.

Perhaps, it reminded himtoo much of famine.. Seeing it onto the privileged’s eyes as they take what is supposed to be shared to others.

Taking the moment to settlewhat he had brought over by a small bedtable, his lips subconsciously drew asmile, refraining himself from making a comment or two about it.

“Why is that what you wouldalways say..”

With a giggle or two, therewas already a feast laid out on the table, making no room for the food providedby the facility, something he would just have to eat all to himself to trickthe staff, his eyes reflecting how swell they looked from sensing the newvarieties offered on their plate.

“Didn’t I mention we would have lunch together?”

“Yup. And I always get myusual hospital food.. But not anymore!~”

“Now hold on before diggingin..”

Munching the food away toreplenish the sense of famine within him, diverse yet complimenting flavors overwhelminghis tongue, it was obvious the Avatar of Gluttony could not help either to moanto compliment the divine food he just purchased or continue munching as thoughthey were alive and would run away.

“Umm.. Beel?”

“..Yes?”

Hearing them laugh ascrumbs went onto his shirt like a waterfall, his eyes fell too onto theirplate.

They have not even touched their plate..

“Could you help me slice upthis chicken?”

Is this why they are so thin?Because the food is rather inaccessible for a one-hand person?

“Of course.”

It took quite a while forBeelzebub to settle his fourth hamburger and mince to their favored sizes.

If that is the problem..Maybe he could offer them a solution instead.Him.

“Now say ahh..~”

“Beel!”

“Hmm?”

“I could do it on my own..”

“Not when I am holding yourfork, you couldn’t.~”

Belphegor

Violently shaking what heheld dearest onto his arms, not even a flinch or any movement came about totheir chest, making himself tremble, holding them closer to him.

It couldn’t be true.This is just a dream..He needs to wake up.

Belphegor could take on anyhardships there is, burden there is, but not facing the inevitable yet.. He wasnot ready yet.

And probably never will.

To an Avatar of Sloth,wasting time had been his forte, and to spend it efficiently.. is this what hisdream is communicating him with?

“Nnnn…”

“No.. no..no…”

“Nooo…”

Sensing his consciousnessseeping through, his body felt like being electrocuted by the door creaking anda stranger’s voice entering.

How long has he been passed out?

Usually, he could care lessabout such trivial matters but feeling like sleeping schedules and body clocksbut with someone’s life given with a countdown…

…

“Good evening. Is he your guardian?”

Turning his head to facethe voice, his vision soon could interpret the man as the hospital’s securitywith his record book at hand and a pen, his eyes for a moment, on Belphegor’sstate.

“Yes he is.”

There they are, sitting onthe sole chair provided for the guest with the metal rod or pole accompanying them,assisting the flow of the IV through their veins.

“Will he be stayingovernight?”

“He will be.”

“On it. Seems like he’s thepatient rather than you are. Ta-ta!”

“That’s not true…” Hemuttered, dark hues reappearing on his rear just as they were visible in hisdreams.

“Are you okay, Belphie? Youwere sleeptalking again..”

“I was?”

Shit.

“Just a random dream, Isuppose.”

By the looks of theirfeatures, it did not take too long for Belphegor to know how his response wasunpleasant.

So much for someone who just woke up..

“I just had a nightmare.The curse of sleeping too much.”

He dare not bring up hisown troubles. That would be insensitive nor does he wish to press an issueregarding their limited lifeline.. Truth be told, humans are mortal beings butwith an illness pressing them down towards the inevitable further…

“Would you like to tell meabout it?”

Tell them about it?

“It is just nothing..”

“You’re not really a goodliar, Belphie. How about we get to talk to it with a cup of coffee?”

Though the mattress wasrelatively comfortable and the pillows plump with the scent of theirs, like acertain paradise created for him, his body voluntarily get up and made them coffee.

“Don’t you think my habitsis just wasting your time?”

Crap.. What was he thinking?This is why he should have coffee first before even saying anything..Caffeine before making a mess out of himself.

“What do you mean?”

Too late. He dug himself deeper into this.

“Well..” his back facingthem as the kettle was settled down to two mugs, the powdered mix adding hue tothe pouring hot water; “I am the Avatar of Sloth and I tend to take naps moreoften.. sleep, you know… waste ti—“

“No.”

“No?”

“Because any time with youaround is time spent worthwhile.~”

Bewildered with howcheerful a mortal could be despite their lifeline drawing thinner by everyshift there is on the hands of their own clock?

“I do not understand..”

Parting his lips to gentlysway the heat away from the cup, their hands touch as they reached out for thecup, something with their heat warmer than a hot cup of coffee could provide…and it is rushing towards his cheeks;

“Because I get to hear yousnore.~”

Excuse me??Snore..Have his human mistaken him for Beelzebub?

“I do not snore!”

“You do! And yousleeptalk.~”

“That’s another thing!”

Giggles turning tolaughter, made it all the more embarrassing should he, indeed, does snore. Hishuman was someone who could not lie convincingly, at least for someone who istrained efficiently to sniff the BS out of his brothers;

“I do not snore..”

“Yes you do!” And theyproceeded to imitate it.. or make it looklike he does..?

“Okay, that’s enough..otherwise, I would make sure you get to sleep first before I do.”

“Noooooooo” and theyproceeded to sip their cold coffee, preparing themselves for the battle on ‘who gets to stay awake longer to witness the other fall asleep’.

_________________________________________________Updated masterlist here.

#obey me game #obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me headcanons #anon ask #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #mod shin-seul

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burntmcnuggies · 4 years ago

Text

A Hopeless Fight

Yandere Levi x Reader

Warning: this story contains blood, gore, and suggestive themes such as kidnapping, murder, non-consensual touching, forced sex, and drug usage. You guys have been warned! Now all of you who wanna read! Please enjoy! :D

Chapter One: Hopeful

“Morning (Y/N)!”

“Oh good morning deary!”

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)! Have you brought us treats again?!”

I laughed and smiled at all of the people greeting me as I walked into the hospital. I kneeled down to the kids and dig into my purse, pulling out their favorite candies. “Now don’t eat it all at once, small bites ok? And don’t make Dr. Zöe mad alright? Be good.” They thanked me enthusiastically and hugged me. I smiled warmly and hugged the poor little cancer kids back. A special connection was between me and those sick kids. My little brother had sadly passed away from cancer, and I promised myself one day I would help in the search for a cure, and help others. “There’s my favorite little visitor!” I looked towards the eccentric voice of my friend and gave her a teasing grin. There was something strange about her though, I couldn’t put my finger in it. “And my favorite doctor! How’s it going Hanji? Busy today as usual?”

“You know it! I really need your beautiful talent of manipulating people to help me get through some stubborn patients!” I sweat dropped at her semi-rude perception of my so-called “power” she believed I had. I was just honest, and respectful to all of the families with loved ones who are sick. Of course as I mentioned my brother had cancer, and the doctors did everything they could. If I had a chance, I would save others too! “An odd way of saying it, but yeah! Let’s go! I’m ready!” She gave me a grin and turned on her heel confidently, holding her clipboard and marching over to the elevator. I followed after her, looking around and smiling at the children and patients of the hospital. “First patient! 24 year-old woman in a coma. We need to do brain surgery but the mother won’t consent.”

“Come on, Hanji.” I took the paper from her clipboard and then grabbed another from the nurses desk. I was still only a med student, but my messy haired friend had already given me permission to visit and discuss procedures with patients and administer IV’s. “Give me something more challenging.” She chuckled and smiled before walking off to go see another one of her many patients. I walked into the room and closed the door slowly. “Hello ma’am.” I greeted the older woman who sat beside her daughters bed, just staring and holding her hand. She looked up and quickly wiped her eyes, squeezing her daughters hand tighter. “My name is (Y/N), and I’m a nursing med student in the area... I wanted to talk with you one last time about your daughters condition...”

—

“(Y/N)!!! You’re too good! You got the consent in under 5 minutes! That HAS to be a new record!” I grinned and laughed talking a sip of my water before picking up my sandwich again. I had visited at least 7 patients in a little under 2 hours and gotten the consent for major surgeries from all of them. I guess i really did have some sort of gift, or it’s just my way of persuasion. “Well I’m glad they all turned out to be ok. The first patient you gave me finally woke up from the coma... now some other nurses are giving her steroids and observing her.” I smiled warmly down at the table, feeling a warm bubbling sensation in my heart. It was that beautiful feeling of knowing I’d helped someone in need. I knew this was where I belonged. “Dr. Zöe, please let me be an oncologist here once I graduate med school!”

Hanji looked at me surprised, not expecting me to be so straight forward with her in asking such an important question. Honestly it was more like a statement. She smirked and set her food down. “Alright. Sounds good to me.” I looked at her surprised and started to tear up a little bit. Finally, the dream I’ve wanted ever since my brother passed was finally going to come true soon. All I have to do is finish med school in a couple weeks and I’ll have it! “Thank you so much Hanji... you have absolutely no idea how much this means to me...” She smiled and leaned over, patting my head as if I were some kind of dog. I continued to smile and cry in happiness, but my happiness was short-lived once I looked up at the news. It seems I wasn’t the only one paying attention.

“And now onto Chief Erwin Smith for a very important segment.”

“Goodmorning Trost. Heartbreaking news: the ashes of Dimo Reeves was found in the Trost landfill this morning at 3am by a nightly worker. All blood was drained from the body, and it’s clear there was evidence of torture and mutilation. There is also no sign of the other man that’d been missing for two weeks. If you knowing anything about their deaths or disappearances, please contact the number at the bottom of the screen.” My eyes widened in surprise. Dimo Reeves? He ran the largest chain of market in the states. Sina, Maria, and Rose! Without him then who is going to be the CEO of the Reeves company? And they still haven’t found the other guy? “I wonder why the police aren’t getting involved. I mean, shouldn’t they be investigating? People have been going missing and turning up dead left and right... the town is in a panic.” I looked down in sadness that all of those people had gone missing. It also scared me. None of the victims had anything in common. They didn’t even know each other. Rumor was the killer was possibly a hitman. I have no doubt that’s true. “In response to the many civilians wanting answers. We’ve put our best officer on the case, Corporal Levi Ackerman.”

“Oh I’ve heard of him...” Hanji mumbles and glares at the screen, pouting a bit while she sipped her drink I looked back up at the screen and watched as a rather short handsome young man walked onto the screen, standing beside the blond-haired chief. “Rumor is he’s the strongest man in the world. He’s cracked over a hundred cases and is very skilled in combat. Looks like they are stepping up the game.” Strongest man in the world, huh? He doesn’t look the part of the strongest man in the world, but I can’t judge much since I haven’t seen underneath his navy police uniform. There was something that unnerved me about him though. His eyes. A beautiful color indeed, but deep within, he was hiding something. But what? “Nobody stands a chance against him. He’s basically an S+ class detective.”

“My team and I will find this murderer, and bring him to justice. As a precaution we ask everyone to limit themselves of how much time they spend outdoors. Until we’ve caught the killer, it’s advised that every household has an armed weapon nearby.” I understand the need for that, but wouldn’t that cause suspicion and caution between neighbors? Knowing that the person right next door has a lethal weapon and can discharge it at will. Maybe I’m overthinking it. “Officers will be placed in every area as security. Thank you.” Shouts of gratitude and encouragement were thrown at the ebony-haired man as he walked off stage with his commanding officer. Something about him just wasn’t right. Murmurs filled the food court with gossip about Corporal Levi. Some praising how strong he was, others discussing how safe they felt with him being on the case of the murderer. “He seems confident... perhaps a little too cocky don’t you think? I don’t know... something just feels off about him.”

I failed to notice my friend flinch from across the table. “How exactly?” She asked in curiosity. I shrugged and stared at the man walking out of the view of the TV camera. What did i see him that made me so uneasy? “It’s his eyes. There’s something deep within them. Something almost... sadistic if you know what I mean? I’m probably just being paranoid.” Hanji clenched her fists and laughed off my explanation. She casually brushed my accusation to the side after that and picked up her phone to check the time. “You’re overreacting. He’s helped a lot of people. We should probably be heading back now. I have a surgery to oversee in twenty minutes. Think you can visit some of the cancer children while I’m away?” I nodded and picked up both our plates, kindly disposing of her food as well to help her save some time. When I turned around to say something she was gone. I raised a brow and gave a quick glance around the room. She must’ve gone to the OR already. Well, looks like I can go start my task too! I walked down the hallway with a smile on my face to give hope to the many ill patients. Sometimes a smile can give people hope and set them at rest.

Waiting for death is cruel. But giving people hope, can help them live up those last moments of presumed hopelessness to make themselves happy.

Hope makes people keep pushing. Which is why I will never give up.

“Levi, we might have to do something about her earlier than I expected. She’s too smart for her own good.”

“Tch, couldn’t have let me prepare? I’ll be there in 20.”

#levixreader #leviackerman #attackontitan #yanderelevi #hanji zoe #erwin smith #horror

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ri-translates · 5 years ago

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Translation: Itaru Chigasaki SSR [MANKAI Encore] - Encore: Lancelot Part 3

The Spring Troupe have come a long way since their first performance of the Knights of the Round IV THE STAGE. The winner of Chikage and Itaru’s contest is...

Part 1 || Part 2

Lancelot = Itaru Gawain = Chikage Gareth = Masumi Mordred = Sakuya Merlin = Tsuzuru King Arthur = Citron

Izumi: (The stage is set in medieval Brittania. The story begins with a conversion between Lancelot and the fairy Gwen.)

Lancelot: “Are you interested, Gwen?”

Izumi: (Itaru-san is alone on stage. Although Gwen doesn’t exist in reality, she’s expressed only by the lighting and Itaru-san’s acting…)

Lancelot: “I know. I won’t talk to you when we’re in front of people. I’ll just be treated as a weirdo.”

Audience A: Wow….

Izumi: (By facing Gwen with a soft expression, the guests become captivated as well. With that, it puts everyone in the world of KniRoun without feeling out of place.)

~~~

Izumi: (During his journey, Lancelot, who’s aiming for King Arthur’s castle, sees Gawain being attacked by a demon.)

Lancelot: “I’ll assist you!”

Gawain: “I don’t know where you’ve come from, but I’m in your debt….!”

Izumi: (Chikage-san’s athletic skill is high, and his sword fighting is better than before--)

Gawain: “Haaa!”

*fire slash*

Izumi: (There’s charm suited for the stage in his movements, more than ever before. The quality of the slashes stand out, and has a nice feeling looking at it.)

Izumi: (The two of them go on a journey together. Lancelot opens up his heart to Gawain, who is able to accept Gwen’s existence without any worriesーー)

Gawain: “Can you see something?”

Lancelot: “.......” “I can see something… If I said that, it’d feel unpleasant, right?”

Gawain: “Haha, you’re the same as my pet cat. Now that I think about it, you kind of resemble it a little.”

Lancelot: “A cat?”

Izumi: (The process of the two of them reaching out to each other little by little has to be shown in a short amount of time on stage, butーー)

Gawain: “Well, there’s many things I’m unable to see. I don’t really mind.”

Lancelot: “You’re strange.”

Izumi: (With their movements and the atmosphere, the changes in the sense of distance between the two of them is steadily conveyed.)

~~~

Izumi: (In order to cure the king’s illness, Lancelot and Gawain go on a journey to look for the “Holy Chalice.) (During their journey, they meet a young man, Gareth, and learn he is Gawain’s long-lost brother.)

Gawain: “That crest on your sword, are youーー”

Gareth: “T-This is… Apparently the household crest of my father, who left when I was a child. My mother entrusted this sword to me when I left….”

Gawain: “That’s my household’s crest.”

Gareth: “Huh!?”

Lancelot: “What do you mean by that?”

Gareth: “Then, my father is…”

Gawain: “To think I’d encounter my half-sibling in a place like this.” “You have my thanks, Lancelot. I’m constantly being helped by you.”

~~~

Arthur: “It’s said that with Merlin’s magic, Gwen can become a human. If that’s true, then there’s the possibility that she’ll also become my wife.”

Lancelot: “Gwen becoming the king’s wife….!?”

“If you go against Gwen’s wishes, you’ll anger her mother, the Lady of the Lake.”

Arthur: “It has already been decided.”

Lancelot: “Your Majesty….!”

Izumi: (His dignity as the king is incredible. Thanks to that, Lancelot’s anguish deepens when he turns his back on the king whom he swore an oath to, increasing the depth of the story.)

~~~

Izumi: (When Gwen proposes running away to Lancelot, Gawain, loyal to the king, is confronted by the other knights.) When Gwen is half-transformed into a human, a fight breaks out at the ritual site, and amidst the confusion, Gareth loses his life at Lancelot’s side.)

Gareth: “I-I’m fine! P-Please, hurry and take Gwen… I’m fine!”

Lancelot: “.....gh, I’m sorry. You’re a true knight.”

*Itaruns off screen*

Gareth: “T-Thank you…”

Gawain: “Gareth! Gareth, hang on!”

Gareth: “Brother… I’m glad I was able to become a knight….”

Audience B: *sobbing*

Izumi: (Gareth dies without holding a grudge against Lancelot and Gwen. He smiles in his last moments, gripping the hearts of the audience.) (This Gareth has an ephemeral expression, a different vibe from Masumi’s usual Gareth, as if he were Gareth himself.)

Arthur: “What is the meaning of this, Mordred?”

Mordred: “Uncle, I’ve been aiming to dispose of you for a long time.”

Gawain: “How did you accomplish a rebellion so quickly….?”

Merlin: “With my magic, this much isn’t difficult at all.”

Arthur: “Merlin!” [1]

Gawain: “No way, even you’ve become a traitorー”

Merlin: “I thought I could use this one better than Arthur.”

Izumi: (Both Sakuya-kun and Tsuzuru-kun had difficulty performing villainous roles well in the previous performance, but this time, it looks like they’re enjoying themselves with ease. It’s quite solid.) (Peace returns to the castle and Gawain slashes at Lancelot. In their last scene together….)

Gawain: “ーーHaa!”

*slashes*

Lancelot: “ーーgh.”

Arthur: “What are you doing, Gawain.”

Gawain: “I told you I still haven’t forgiven you, didn’t I?”

Lancelot: “.....”

Gawain: “But, that doesn’t change the fact that you are my friend.”

Lancelot: “Gawain….”

Gawain: “I’ll take you to see Gareth. I’m sure he’ll be happy.”

Lancelot: “.....”

Izumi: (Up until here, the exchanges, sword fighting, everything was in sync. Because of their every day relationship, it’s gotten even better than before!)

~~~

Tonooka: Nice work. Because Hoshii was very busy, he went home early, but he was in a very pleasant mood. “Thank you for making me interested in theatre, as well as making me feel like I was on a journey together with you,” is what he said.

Sakuya: You did it, Itaru-san!

Itaru: ーーHell yeah, I feel like something good might come out if I pull the gacha right now.

Tsuzuru: Eh, you’re gonna pull the gacha looking like Lancelot?

Masumi: He’s a hopeless game freak.

Citron: Speaking of which, you still haven’t pulled, Itaru?

Itaru: Not excessively. ーーNow then. Enter the stage, SSR.....! [2]

Itaru: Hell yeah! Got it! SSR Lancelot!

Sakuya: That’s great, Itaru-san!

Itaru: And with that, the winner of the gacha contest is me, Senpai.

Chikage: Oh, I didn’t tell you, huh. ーーLook.

Itaru: Eh, Gawainーーand Lancelot!?

Chikage: When I tried doing one 10 pull, I got both of them. [3] It’s my victory.

Citron: Ohh Itaru, a bright yet short-lived joy!

Tsuzuru: So it’s Itaru-san’s loss after all.

Itaru: Even though I accumulated good karma….I don’t understand.

Tl notes and comments:

[1] easiest line in the play thus far HAHAHA

[2] Itaru says SSR演出入った……！which I translated as a kind of play on 演出 is like “stage production” and 入る is to enter. Therefore, “enter the stage!”

[3] DISGUSTING

Thanks for reading my translation up to this point! I hope it was easy to follow along! If you spot any mistakes in grammar or the translation, please don’t hesitate to let me know! I know Eng A3! will eventually catch up, but until then, if anyone has any other stories (preferably Spring Troupe) they’d like translated, feel free to message me! I may be translating something from Yume100 soon, but we’ll see...

Part 1 || Part 2

#a3!#a3! translation #chigasaki itaru #itaru chigasaki #chikage utsuki #utsuki chikage #masumi usui #usui masumi #citron #sakuya sakuma #sakuma sakuya #tsuzuru minagi #minagi tsuzuru #spring troupe #ri translates #itaru: mankai encore

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wienerbarnes · 5 years ago

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Whatever It Takes (3/6)

Pairing: Bucky x Doctor!Reader

Word Count: 2,069

Prompt: Doctor AU

Warnings: More medical talk, some ~flirting~

A/N: sorry for the late post! i got home late yesterday and completely forgot but here it is now!!! officially halfway done :)

SERIES MASTERLIST

“This iodine will help with your thyroid.” Dr. Curtis informs the now awake patient. She hangs the IV bag on the hook and moves away from the bed once it’s attached. You’ve since removed your blazer and shoes, assuming you should get comfortable with the state of John.

“We should celebrate! With a beer,” You begin, pacing around the room.

“I don’t drink.” John croaks from the bed.

“Me thinks he doth protest too much.” You joke from your position on the other side of the hospital room, facing the small window with a view of the outside.

“Why would he lie if he’s deathly ill?” Curtis asks, clearly annoyed with your antics.

“Guilt over killing a man?” You guess.

“We don’t kill people.” John says, head turning to look at you with his tired eyes.

“Right,” You begin as you walk over closer to the bed, “You only, lie to your family and friends, establish fake identities, trick people into betraying their country; he’d never cover up the fact that he drinks!” You exaggerate as you rearrange your legs in a more comfortable position.

“Quick question though, the red lipstick that Ginger used to kill Gilligan. Why didn’t that kill her?” John rolls his eyes at you and Curtis stares at you in disbelief and you look between the two of them, waiting for an answer.

…

A couple of hours pass before Bucky and Dr. Banner meet you and Dr. Curtis in John’s room again. You sit on the cushioned chair beside the bed and Dr. Curtis sits on the couch on the opposite side of the room. Bucky notices you eating from a small container of macaroni and cheese, blazer laid at over the arm rest of the chair, and bare feet folded under you as you’ve obviously gotten comfortable. Your hair is loosely tied back and a few strands fall around your face. He doesn’t realize you’ve caught him staring but quickly clears his throat and looks at Banner, who is flipping through the original chart and looking at John’s current vitals.

“He’s stabilizing.” Banner states, reviewing John’s current vitals with the original vitals listed in the chart from when he was first admitted.

“And the tummy ache is gone.” You add, taking in another spoonful of macaroni.

“Treatment is working.” Dr. Curtis stands, a small, proud grin rising on her face.

Bucky looks at you again to see you giving a weird glance at Dr. Curtis. What does that face mean? Bucky thinks. It’s not a face of guilt, but you definitely look like you’ve been up to something. You meet his gaze again and smile.

“Hey, Sarg, wanna hop on that jet and take a trip down Mexico Way? And I’m not talking about the country or the plane.” You tease, another spoonful of pasta disappearing between your lips. How unchaste, he thinks to himself as he tries his hardest to keep from blushing.

“Do you think flirting like an idiot will get you anywhere with guys?” Bucky asks, playful smile creeping up on his face, indulging in your remarks.

“Well, if it didn’t, the human race probably would’ve died out a long time ago.”

“You’re awfully chipper for someone who’s just had their pancreatitis theory disproved.” Curtis interrupts. The sparkle in your eye that you’ve been giving Bucky disappears and that same look from before returns to your features.

“Actually, I’m awfully chipper for someone who’s being proved right.” Banner looks up at you when you say this, a puzzled look on his face.

“John hasn’t vomited in six hours.” Banner argues.

“What is there to vomit? I’m eating his lunch.” You hold up the container of nearly finished macaroni and cheese and place it on the nightstand next to where you’re sitting before standing up.

“Withholding nutrients is the treatment for pancreatitis. That, and the antibiotics I put him on when you went to the bathroom.” You explain, gesturing to Dr. Curtis.

“You’re unbelievable!” Dr. Curtis exclaims.

“Well, why don’t you ask John if he’d rather die honestly or be cured dishonestly?” You reply.

“John?” Banner asks, noticing how John’s body seems a little more slumped than before.

Banner moves forward to lift John’s eyelids and shine a small flashlight into them, checking for any response. The heart monitor is still beeping, meaning he’s still alive, but he’s unmoving.

“Any chance he’s just overwhelmed with gratitude?” You ask.

…

“You should be brought up on charges!” Curtis accuses you.

“Okay, okay, I’ll take your book from under my piano.”

John is now awake after being fed a shot of adrenaline. And Dr. Curtis is not happy with you. But was she ever?

“He is dying of radiation poisoning!” She bursts.

“Why are you yelling?” You ask calmly, walking up to John’s bed.

“All of this could’ve been avoided if you hadn’t interfered with-“ Curtis is cut off by John’s yelp as you pull harshly on his hair. Bucky even stops his pacing at the sound and looks at you for explanation.

“What are you doing?!” Curtis yells.

“Radiation sickness kills different cells at different times. Meaning his hair should be falling out in clumps before his body starts writhing in pain. And since it’s not,” You explain, holding up your empty palm.

You glance at Bucky and then to Dr. Banner, who no longer looks so worried about whether or not you might be absolutely mad.

“It’s blood cancer. Waldenstrom’s.” You diagnose.

“Unless you can tell me if he’s been involved in any foul play, like torturing Bolivians…” You trail off and send a hopeful look towards Bucky. “Can’t you treat for both?” Bucky asks, a defeated look on his face. His brain is exhausted from hearing different diagnosis after diagnosis, and he doesn’t even understand any of the medical talk that comes out of anyone’s mouth.

Truth be told, Stark and Banner had only asked him to track you down and retrieve you for your help in fixing John. He could go back to his regular playing around with Sam, but you’ve caught his attention. At first he was a bit annoyed at you; he couldn’t believe that someone so goofy could be a doctor. But your interesting personality has grown on him over the past couple of hours that you’ve been here.

“Unless you’re the one that’s trying to poison him.” You reply.

Bucky looks to Dr. Banner for help. “I’ll arrange for Plasmapheresis and Chemotherapy.” He finally spits out before walking out of the room.

Bucky goes to follow but Dr. Curtis stops him, “You’re really going to trust her after what she did?” She asks, shock evident in her voice. Bucky meets your eyes.

“I don’t have to trust her to agree with her.” Bucky replies before finally exiting the room.

…

It’s deep into the evening when John is finally put on his new treatment. Dr. Curtis has stepped out to grab some food and Dr. Banner has returned to his office, still checking in every once in a while. You and Bucky are the ones that remain while John is asleep from the drowsiness caused by the medicine. Bucky watches from the end of the bed as you attach a new bag to the IV hook and press a few buttons on a machine next to the bed.

“So, now that all the medical mumbo-jumbo is over with,” You begin as you turn around to face him. “What do you say we head back to your place and you show me a few enhanced interrogation techniques?” You offer while slowly striding towards him; Bucky’s right eyebrow lifting at your implication.

He smirks as you continue, “My safe word is ‘Help, please, please, stop.’ That’s two ‘please’s, otherwise you keep going.” You inform with a wink.

“Maybe if you cure this guy, I’ll show you my private water board.” He teases back. An almost animalistic grin spreads across your face at his teasing as you move even closer, chests almost touching as Bucky looks down into your eyes.

“You know I have a position available. At my hospital. My personal assistant.” You whisper, breath fanning Bucky’s face and the hair on the back of his neck raise.

“You offering me a job?”

“I can bet you the pay’s better.” You lie, as if you have the funds to pay him higher than whatever an Avengers paycheck consists of, fingers slowly tracing up his right forearm. “And there’s less bad guys to fight.”

“I like it here.” Bucky chuckles, hands raising to rest themselves on either side of your upper arms

You bite your lip and Bucky’s eyes immediately move to fix on your plump, pink lips. You open your mouth to continue and a beeping noise from Bucky’s front left pocket interrupts you as Bucky pulls one arm away to pull out his phone.

“Duty calls.” He says softly, before backing away from you and exiting the room.

…

Bucky finally finds Sam in the smaller common room after running around the entire compound looking for him.

“What’s the emergency?” Bucky asks, not understanding why Sam would be sitting in the common room with his feet propped up if there was actually something wrong.

“I know what you’ve been up to, you sly, sly dog.” Sam accuses, teasing smile on his face.

“What?” Bucky asks; he’s seriously confused now.

“You’re trying to sauce it up with the doctor lady!” Sam stands and shoves a finger in Bucky chest and the blush begins to creep up his neck.

“What?! N-no I’m not, what are you talking about?” Bucky denies.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., why don’t show Tin-Man over here what you showed me when I asked you where he was at.” Sam commands.

Projected on the screen is you and Bucky from about five minutes ago. Faces close together, your arms trailing up from his wrists to rest on his shoulders before trailing back down again. He sees how his hands twitch at his side in the video, God, how he wanted to wrap his arms around you so badly.

“Man, are you blushing? God damn, get a hold of yourself!” Sam snaps him out of his trance of thinking about what all your curves feel like underneath his hands.

“Nothing’s going on, alright? Just lay off.” Bucky says before leaving the room again.

He storms back to the elevators to go back to his room for a while. Maybe he’ll be able to get his head in order with some time away from you? He hasn’t felt this way about a girl in he doesn’t even know how long. A part of him didn’t think he’d ever find someone he actually likes like that - he didn’t even think he was capable of feeling that kind of emotion anymore.

Bucky knows he’s different. Bucky knows he’s not Bucky. Bucky died when he fell from that train. He doesn’t really know who he is now. He’s missed out on so much in his life, watching his sisters grow up, getting a long career, taking care of his mother, getting married and having kids, so many inventions and societal changes; sometimes he’s just lost. And there’s not too many people around willing to explain things to him. Sure, he has no problem figuring things out on his own, but every once in a while he just wishes he knew things from the beginning. Like his feelings.

His last girlfriend is probably dead now and it’s not like he’s had any practice recently.

When he’s around you, he feels - light. Airy. Freer. Like he can do anything he wants. And he feels like he wants to do things with you. Take you places. Do things for you, even though you don’t seem to need anybody for anything. He wants to see what you look like on a date. What you look like when you get a nice surprise. What you look like when you wake up in the morning. Or when you get out of the shower. Or when your shopping for something. He likes seeing that smirk on your face when you throw some witty insult at Dr. Curtis. He likes seeing the flirty sparkle in your eye when you tease him and make him blush; he’ll let you make him blush forever if it means he gets to see that face on you.

That’s all gotta mean something, right?

TAG LIST: @gagmebucky @thefvcker-tucker @hannie-writes-marvel @angel-fire @jaamesbbarnes @sgtjbuccky @unicorniorosacomefrutillas @creepylittlemarvelgirl @spiderrpcrker @mywinterwolf

#d&s’milestonecelebration #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x doctor!reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes series #doctor au #marvel #marvel fanfiction #writing challenge

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tiny-anxious-mess · 5 years ago

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Dress to Impress

Summary: It’s date night for Logan and Roman. Logan searches for something to wear and instead finds a dress, some self-doubt, and a whole lot of love. (Human AU)

Pairings: Logan/Roman, Logince

Warnings: A few swears, kissing (though its nothing heated or anything), and some self-doubt and insecurity from Logan

Notes: second story!! thank you for all of the lovely comments on my first story, every single one makes my day! this fic was inspired by all the lovely fanart ive seen of all the different sides in dresses and i felt like writing something romantic so who better to pair logan with than the prince himself? haha hope yall enjoy this!

***

It wasn’t that Logan was nervous, he was just... hesitant.

It was date night and a date might entail looking good. Roman would say that Logan always looked good, but you couldn’t fault Logan for putting in an effort.

But tonight was different.

There was a meteor shower tonight and Logan wasn’t about to miss a second of it. Roman had tried to surprise him by scheduling their monthly date night on that night, but Logan was already one step ahead. He had a picnic basket and everything.

The night wasn’t the problem; he wasn’t hesitating because of the night or the date or the anything.

It was internal. He knew that; he had enough self-awareness for that, no matter his struggle with other such emotions.

He wanted to be comfortable for the night. They would be there long and it was supposed to be a warm night. And so he looked through his wardrobe and looked and looked and looked and—

Here was his problem.

Right in front of his was a dress.

It didn’t come as a surprise to him to find it; he had bought it himself ages ago, though he never had the right chance to wear it. But tonight presented to perfect opportunity to wear it.

And therein lied the catch.

It wasn’t that he was insecure or that he didn’t have the confidence to wear the dress out, it was just that... well, he had never worn something like it out with Roman.

Playing around with his clothing was nothing new—college had been an exciting time to mess around with it all. But as he grew a few years older, it was something that fell to the side. He dressed practically and appropriately depending on the situation. He rarely, for lack of a better term, dressed up just because he wanted to.

But now there was the dress and the date and Logan didn’t know what to do.

It’d be easy just to slip it on and go out. It was nothing fancy, just a short-sleeved sundress. It was practical, he told himself as he picked it up. It’s going to be warm out and this is nice and light and—it’s practical.

He didn’t understand why he was so hesitant. He wasn’t afraid of what other people said, he wasn’t afraid of himself. He just...

Roman had never seen him in a dress.

Hell, Roman had never seen him in anything other than pants and a shirt, what he normally wore. He had never seen the photos of Logan and Virgil, an old college friend, in drag for that one night after finals. He had never seen the makeup Logan kept in a bag in his bottom desk drawer. He had never seen Logan as anything other than Logan.

Not that he wouldn’t be Logan in the dress; of course he’d still be Logan. He’d just be Logan in a dress and that... that made him hesitate.

He won’t hate you for this, Logan reminded himself. There’s no reason to think that he would so don’t think about it. He loves you now and so he’ll love you tonight, dress or not. It’s illogical to think of the negative outcomes. You can’t predict the future; or at least, none of his past behavior is relevant; he’s given no indicators that he might react negatively to you in a dress.

Logan sighed heavily, squeezing the dress in his hands. He placed it down and reached for his phone, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

He pulled up Virgil’s contact.

Me: Virgil, sorry if I am interrupting something, but once you get the chance, remind what is the breathing technique you use to calm yourself down. I am... in need of some assistance.

Virgil: Nah you’re not interrupting anything b. I use the 4-7-8 breathing thing but it could be different for you. nothing is exactly guaranteed to work for any single person

Me: Thank you.

Virgil: Is everything alright? you’re usually the one helping me with breathing

Me: I am fine, just... I’m second-guessing myself and it is unnecessary. I simply need to ground myself for a moment.

Virgil: what are you nervous about?

Me: I’m not nervous, just hesitant.

Virgil: sure Jan, talk to me

Me: Mm. I just. Roman and I are going to the open field down the street for the meteor shower. I was looking for what to wear, seeing as it's supposed to be warm tonight, and came across a dress I bought a few months ago. I think it’s practically that I wear it but I. I’m being ridiculous and am second-guessing myself.

Virgil: Oh okay well relax roman is gonna drop dead when he sees you in the dress, its the blue one yeah?

Me: Yes. And I am perfectly relaxed. I am cool. I am chilled.

Virgil: why must you torture me this way?

Me: I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.

Virgil: how the hell can you sound smug through text?? anyway roman will adore the dress and you and if he doesn't, ill fight him

Me: Violence is not necessary but the intent behind the action is much appreciated, Virgil. Thank you.

Virgil: no problem man, text me if you need anything or a hitman!!

Me: You’ve been hanging out with Remus, haven’t you?

Virgil: only when I'm willing to risk my sanity!!!!!!

Logan sighed again, putting down his phone. It was pointless to torture himself any further.

He stood up, grabbing the dress once again and moving towards the bathroom.

Time to get dressed.

***

Logan and Roman arrived separately. Roman had to drive home from work and then to the field. Logan was already there, ten minutes early, with the picnic basket, blanket, telescope, books, and journal for the night.

He sat on the blanket, tugging on the hem of the dress. It would be fine, he told himself. He had nothing to worry about other than getting mauled by a bear.

He rolled his eyes at himself. God, now I sound like Virgil.

He shook his head, forcing himself to shake off his doubts. It would be fine, it was just him and Roman and the stars. He didn’t need to think about anything else.

And yet when he saw Roman’s car pull up next to his a few yards away, his heartbeat quickened.

Logan breathed in—one, two, three, four—held it—one, two, three, four, five, six, seven—and then out—one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

He stood, smoothing down his dress, and began towards Roman.

The man in question got out of his car, a bouquet of flowers in hand. Logan was able to identify roses, primroses, and red camellias. It was a rather beautiful arrangement; Logan could tell Roman had done it himself. He always insisted on carrying out his romantic gestures on his own.

Roman beamed when he saw Logan but it wasn’t until he used the flashlight on his phone that he reacted.

He paused then fully stopped. His mouth gaped, lips apart in an “o” formation. The flowers previously held closer up to his chest fell with his hand, now held loosely by his side.

Logan bit the inside of his cheek and reached up to readjust his glasses. He cleared his throat, saying, “Hi.”

God, “Hi”? Really, that’s all I can think of?

“H-Hi,” Roman stuttered. Even in the darkness, Logan could see the color in his cheeks, at the bridge of his nose.

“Ready?” Logan asked, wishing to fill the silence.

Roman blinked multiple times, eyes flickering over Logan before he swallowed and nodded. “I-I, um, yeah--yes! Yes, I’m ready!” he exclaimed, cheeks flushing fully this time. Then he paused and thrusted out the flowers. “Here! They’re for you! Of course, they’re for you; I didn’t exactly plan on doing anything else tonight and even if I was, I certainly wouldn’t be getting them flowers. Unless it was someone like my mom or mama, or--”

Logan walked forward, took the flowers, and kissed him.

Roman followed with no hesitation. He reached up to cup Logan’s face, lips quirking up ever so slightly when Logan turned his face into Roman’s palm.

They parted, lingering. “You look amazing,” Roman murmured against Logan’s lips. “Completely left me speechless.”

Logan snorted, smiling. “You had plenty of words, they were just jumbled,” he said quietly.

“That’s what you do to me,” Roman said. “Leave me all scrambled. It’s rude to deprive a poet of his words.”

“I never deprived you of anything.” They had begun to sway back and forth, rocking in each other's arms, still just barely parted.

“Oh please,” Roman scoffed, lips quirking again. He pulled back just enough to meet Logan’s eyes, gaze hooded and warm. “I could have a whole soliloquy written and memorized, and suddenly I see you and my thoughts fall to the side, my mouth goes dry, and all I can see is you. You, only you; you standing, sitting, humming, speaking, studying, laughing, smiling. You, just you; it’s enough to make me speechless. Enough to make me stop and stare. You’ve bewitched me and yet you are the cure.”

Logan was no good with emotions, even less so with translating them well into the words. Roman made it seem so easy. But Logan didn’t need to match Roman’s talent beat for beat.

Logan pressed a quick peck to Roman’s lips before resting his forehead against Roman’s. “I love you,” he whispered because he didn’t say those words a lot--perhaps not often enough--but he meant them every time he said it.

“I love you too.” The words sounded sweet from Roman, ringing orange and pink like a sunset in Logan’s mind.

Logan’s hand met and grasped Roman’s. “Shall we?” he asked, leaning back towards the field.

Roman smiled--and he says I make him speechless, Logan thought--and squeezed his hand, bringing it up to his lips, sealing the night with one final kiss.

“Let’s.”

#logan sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides #logince #sanders sides fic #toph writes #virgil sanders

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dawnowar · 4 years ago

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It’s Labor Day

I have today off and no plans and no plans to make any or get any really. I may go look at something. I went and looked at stuff last weekend and it did my soul a lot of good.

I’ve done a great job doing nothing with nobody so far and I don’t feel like I should blow that now. The rest of America didn’t make it past the first month and just decided to breathe on each other pretty much and get the coronavirus and then people die or whatever.

Looks like the dire predictions all came true but now we are on the other side no one cares unless their Dad died. I seem to know a good amount of people who’s fathers have died. I guess theres all kinds of people of every description dying but my own experience at this moment is seeing posts from people who’s Dads have died.

I suppose i could be less strict since I am not immunocompromised and just go out and do stuff like everyone else. I’m fully aware I am putting these limitations on myself, but truth is that i’d spent the previous year or two scaling back from knowing everyone everywhere all the time and not having any substantive relationships with any of them, because it wasn’t satisfying. And because stuff happened. And when stuff happened to me, I never had any backup. No one ever took my side on anything ever.

I could go into details but these are beefs I had that are two and three years old now in some cases and even I can’t recall all the specifics, just that people let me down when I needed them. People close to me. Or people i thought were close to me. or people I thought might become close to me.

Let down by almost everyone more or less. As I said, the specifics are lost and the point has passed on so much of this, and that combined with my work families getting me sick all last Fall, because they dont care if they get me sick or not.... I didnt just shut down my business w coronavirus. I shut down everything.

And it was a relief. and im not sorry for any of it.

Before coronavirus....I’d pretty much stopped going out and stopped going to see bands unless it was my friends bands. I still have some of those. Had some. I dont know whats what now since im not around. I’m that one girl you see when you go out. So everyone knows me and no one cares about me after they go home.

I’m not saying this to make you feel sorry for me. I don’t feel sorry for me. But that’s the reality of my life. Or it has been. With the Covid I’ve taken notice of who has checked on me, asked me to do stuff, kept in touch and who hasn’t.

It’s not a surprising list.

So I keep to myself because ultimately i think i just want to.

I’m not in any hurry to get infected with a thing that may or may not kill me or the people I’d spread it to. But i’m also a lot older than most of my friends and I may be ready to hang up my rock and roll lifestyle.

I mean ill always be rock and roll, but I’m old people now and that might be fine too. I don’t know how to act my age. I never did. I’m convinced its a trap. But i’ve only drank 2x since March and I probably didnt need to either time. I’m spending way less money and im enjoying the challenge of living life without bars and clubs and shows.

I’m only just scratching the surface of figuring out what other kind of life I could lead.

Before Covid I was definitely feeling dissatisfied with my social life, and I wasnt enjoying my work the way I used to and I was starting to think what else I could try next.

Covid-19 lockdown wasn’t even close to any of the ideas I was starting to dream up. Working from home and never going anywhere or doing anything with anybody. But its a change and I needed one of those for sure.

Once i got the work-at-home job, I was able to stop living in survival mode and shift to figuring out how to be comfortable here in my house a lot more than I ever meant to be.

I love my house and it always was a comfortable place for just me to be by myself, so its really just adjusting for this new life where i stay home most of every day.

Need to get the exercise thing sorted out. I’m having trouble being motivated to walk around the neighborhood anymore since ive seen it and it bores me now. But I’ll figure out something. Its getting cooler now and I think every season poses its own challenges for outdoor exercise. i may never find one thing that always works for me. I may need to constantly change up what im doing.

Which is a bummer because I love Jazzercise. I’ve done it for years and it’s the only exercise i’ve ever really stuck with. It’s still happening and I see the instagrams but no fucking way am i going to stand in a small room breathing hard with a bunch of ladies, some of whom support trump and probably are not wearing masks or socially distancing at all. Its safe to assume no one is really at this point in time regardless of their political opinion. I see my liberal atheist friends posting selfies with their friends at parties all gathered together. No one is really doing social distancing anywhere in America as far as I can tell.

I see infractions constantly which I would outline but I don’t want to be the mask police. I just accept that no one is really doing this. So I’m staying away from everyone till theres a vaccine or a cure or a treatment best I can.

Which leaves me with outdoor activities.

Never been my thing, and with the summer humidity ive been avoiding all of it. But It’s labor day now and things are cooling off. Truth is that every year when everyone starts putting on flannels and Im still wearing summer clothes because I’m finally comfortable, theres a couple of weeks of what i think is nice weather to take advantage of, so I’m gonna aim to do that.

I don’t know what happens after it gets cold but I’ll figure it out then. Ive always loved outdoor ice skating rinks. Maybe I’ll be able to skate.

I didn’t get to go on my vacation last year to Chicago because one of the families i worked for got me sick. I meant to skate the ribbon. Maybe i’ll do that this year.

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shirts181 · 4 years ago

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Random life vent

I remember being really happy as a kid/teenager, everything was awesome, always had friends and family around and did cool stuff, didn’t overthink about anything just lived my life as it came day by day. Not anymore. Before i dive into this, there’s going to be so many things im going to miss or havent remembered thats probably vital or important in relation to what im saying and as im re-reading over it ill realise i havent added something so yeah just a heads up, im a guy in his mid 20′s, majority of this my friends now dont even know about and i couldnt even imagine trying to explain all this shit to somebody i know, i guess thats why im here lol, i want to add and not sure if its related to how i turned out or not but growing up i was always on the shy side, wasn’t super shy but like when i would do shit like do a class presentation by myself id always go red and blush and sometimes get teary, not that i was sad or upset, id just get fucking teary like a dickhead lol, would use my hands when i talked and just overall looked like a nervous wreck. I was comfy around friends and family, could do whatever, didnt really care, if anything i felt like an extrovert around them, but when it came to being in situations i didnt know anybody, i plainly would just say nothing, not make an effort to really engage in conversation, just lay back and wait for that situation to be over til i was with my friends. If somebody approached me id obviously talk to them and whatever but rarely would i be the person initiating anything like that, was a bit of a idiot like that growing up lol. I’ve always been the person who wanted everyone to be happy, i was always oblivious to how other people like my friends had family or whatever issues growing up and the REAL impact it has on them, like divorced parents or they dont know their mum or dad or whatever that stuff, i knew people with depression and anxiety growing up and i was always open to talk to people about it, i LOVED being the friend to speak to if anybody was feeling like shit or wanted to vent, it made me feel really appreciated and id been given this trust to listen to what they have to say, like i might be able to make them feel better about what they had to say regardless of if i could properly help/change their circumstances and problems, but maybe put a smile on their face and make them laugh and let them know it’ll be ok without even being sure if it would, but i never would say that and 100% know it would be ok, but by saying that it might just give them some hope that things CAN be ok and they then believe it can change for the better. From the age of 16 i was super self conscious, i cared what people thought of me, not that im a super ugly guy or had anything dramatically wrong looks wise or how i was, but more so for me maybe like saying something and somebody over hearing it and me being like “oh fuck i should of said that” because it might sound bad or like having pimples (probably same as every teenager ever lol) or a bad hair day (literally) kinda thing. I cared how people portrayed me, i wanted everyone to know i was just average person who just wanted everybody to be happy, i made conscious decisions on what i said to who and where i said it, clothes i would wear depending on where i was going and who might see me, that stuff was like a necessity in my life, i wasn’t like ocd about that stuff because sometimes id be in situations where i know id be judged but still followed through, but something about me just fuckinggggg hated having somebody look at me a certain way and portray me differently to who i really am. I just re-read that and holy shit lol i sound like an idiot the way i’ve said what i’ve said, this is another thing about me maybe saying something and not accurately making it out to sound how i intend it to sound. Whatever rofl, now the real shit. I got diagnosed by a psych with anxiety when i was 18, this was the beginning of my mental downfall from then to this day. About 6-7 months of solid anxiety i could barely leave my house, was scared for no fucking reason, dont even know why, all i remember is my heart beating like crazy and feeling like i was going to pass out or whatever. This would happen mainly in social situations during and before even seeing others/doing things. I would work myself up to the point of crying, getting hives/being itchy everywhere on my body, nervously shaking and visually just looking terrified. I couldn’t drive properly because i’d get panic attacks and id feel like im about to pass out and i cant escape cos im trapped inside a car, traffic was the worst especially when i was alone, there was numerous times that i fucking cried in my car before and after id pull over to relax myself, how stupid is this shit? Why does this happen to people, how does this shit happen to ME, i dont even get why this all is even happening, im not an unhealthy person by any means so im not sick and didnt have symptoms of any illness, wtf is going on. How the fuck do i get over this, ended up seeing a psych because i had no idea wtf was wrong with me, bring in my diagnosis of having anxiety. While i was at home, i would hardcore grind out games on my computer, it made me feel normal and not like absolute shit, dont know why but at the time thats all that made me not feel like absolute shit and scared of being outside in the world. I took pills for this, tried to be active by exercising, playing sport and making an effort and forcing myself out of the house. At the start it was absolute torture, i didn’t ever think i’d get over this, it was that bad. I was on medication, couldn’t tell you what one because i just dont remember and never payed attention to medication names etc. Fast forward 6-7 months, i am actually feeling ok, i apply for jobs, go to job interviews with ease, im actually feeling really good like im making improvements in my life and progressing correctly by taking the next step, something i wouldn’t of thought of doing months earlier. I ended up getting a job and it was like a weight off my shoulders, i was excited, my parents were super happy with me for how far that i had come, i felt good as, potentially like im on track to success in living my life and being able to feel good again. As i got this job i was confident in going out and felt like i could properly just do shit, like i could be me again. This lasted about 15 months, i was ok to drive, i NEVER had a panic attack during this 15 months, i felt good af, when i drove i would even laugh at myself be like “why tf was i panicking? why was i such an idiot and getting worried over shit that cant and wont effect me and make me feel scared? why would i care about those things”, even in like social situations same thing, it was great. It all started to come back, slowly it like bloody crept its way back to being bad, but at this stage i was in denial, i was like na i can get over this i dont need to see anybody, but realistically i probably needed to. To this day i’ve never seen a psych about it, for the last 4-5 years ive almost just adapted to knowing im going to have panic attacks and feel like shit, iv learnt to cope and deal with it myself, the thought of me taking pills for this again scares me, why would i want to take pills to get better again when once i feel good, come off them, id get back into this state of mind and feel anxious again, and then repeat, why the fuck, seriously, why the fuck would i put myself into this potential scenario, i say potential because its a possibility, but thats not a risk im willing to take, people get addicted to this shit, ultimately what im trying to say is i dont want to be that person that gets reliant on taking pills to just having a functioning mind that doesnt make me feel scared and afraid, why cant i just shake this off? is there something im not doing? wtf is the cure to this shit? i know its not the pills because i dont want to become reliant on medications to make me happy. Im pretty convinced im depressed too, iv had serious thoughts about suicide, but i dont think im somebody who could actually commit to it, and if i was, i would probably make the decision to speak to somebody, but im stuck in a mindset where im not going to die from it, but i feel like shit all the time, i dont want meds, i dont know how to fix where im at pretty much, theres things that have happened to me the last couple years which have convinced me im a bad partner in a relationship, not for things i do but for what i unintentionally didnt do, im not a fulfilling boyfriend, ive either never obviously met the right girl for me or im just not fit to be a boyfriend, and thats what i think, how can somebody commit to me but im to stressed and worried about how my commitment to them might not be enough? the constant worry of not being a good boyfriend, when all i really want is for everything to be ok and happy, not that if things arent good or happy that thats a bad thing, i totally understand not everything is perfect and there are shit things that happen to people or in the world thats always going to happen, but i feel like, mainly with my last ex girlfriend, i felt like i was in a competition half the time to compete and get reassurance i was being a good boyfriend because i didnt know anything else, i was locked into this relationship i felt i couldnt escape, i so badly wanted out but was sucked into the mindset that if i left id have nothing and couldnt be with anybody because shes the only one who would be with me cos she already is, how the fuck do i overcome this, how do i get out? Its been a year since she ended up breaking up with me and pretty much for those reasons, i wasn’t up to par with her standards, i wasnt her dream boyfriend, for somebody who accepted my past issues with anxiety and letting her in on all my personal shit, if somebody who i thought cared for me leaves me, how could i ever convince or even get another girl to be with me knowing i have this weight and baggage of being a potential let down and not being able to be the person she needs me to be? Writing all this i thought id feel better but i kinda still feel like shit. I weighed up deleting this, i had it all highlighted ready to backspace and alt f4 this but fuck it i might regret not posting this, i guess thats why im here anyway. If you read all this sorry for the random bullshit, i re-read it and i sidetracked myself hard from what i was originally going to say but im kinda tired and was literally just typing anything that came to my mind andddd yeeeeaaaahhh.. peace

#anxiety #depression #latenightthoughts #venting #myreality #mylife #imisstheoldme #shellberightmate #bullshitery #mentalsuffering #mentalhealthissues

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trickandmxgic · 5 years ago

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RULES: List at least five tropes applicable to your character, then tag others to do the same.(Tropes Wiki) REPOST! DO NOT REBLOG.

Tagged by: MYSELF i mean ive done it on all my other blogs so Tagging: u sure y not

Magnificent Bastard: If there was ever a character that deserved to be called “Magnificent”, that character is the Magnificent Bastard. The Magnificent Bastard is what happens when you combine The Chessmaster, The Trickster, and the Manipulative Bastard: bold, charismatic, independent, audacious and genius. Capturing the audience with their charisma, incredible intellect, mastery of manipulation, and boldness of action, this character is a show-stealer, demanding your reverence at every turn. While usually an antagonist, especially if they’re the Big Bad, the Magnificent Bastard can be aligned on either side of a conflict. Hell, they’re so amazing they tend to forgo the idea of good and evil altogether, instead following their own agenda, choosing to help whichever side will further their goals. However, it’s true that their penchant for manipulation at the expense of others means it’s common for them to be a Villain, Villain Protagonist, or at least an Anti-Hero, but purely heroic examples exist. Either way, they’re usually in charge of whatever organization they’re involved with, or might as well be.

“ Outsmarts everyone and looks stylish while doing it. “

The Strategist: A character whose primary job is to think up intricate and ingenious ways to defeat the enemy. The Strategist is often in a supporting role, but may be the hero as well. In a supporting role, the Strategist is basically The Smart Guy on turbo, although he or she will—as a general rule—be less likely to physically partake in any of the plans they think up. The Strategist might come across as an unmitigated disaster, should the heroes come to rely on his or her advice too much. The Strategist may also take center stage. As a hero, The Strategist’s clever tactical tricks drive the story. A main character Strategist will face overwhelming odds, again and again. The enemy may have difficulty believing The Strategist can possibly win, but by bending the rules a little, dusting off their knowledge of military history, and maybe pulling a few dirty tricks, The Strategist comes out on top, or at least alive.

“It is only one who is thoroughly acquainted with the evils of war that can thoroughly understand the profitable way of carrying it on.”

Reality Warper: Ever heard of the Superpower Lottery? Well, kid, you just won the grand prize. You know those pesky laws of physics? Or that annoying thing called causality? Einstein's theory of relativity? Quantum physics? You can laugh and say, "screw you" to them now. Reality is officially out to lunch, and you've picked the restaurant and menu it gets to "choose". This means you can create things out of nothing, change already existing things, erase things from existence, and generally force reality to obey your will just by thinking about it. The key issue here is how far one can take this, and in Guo Jia’s case, he can take it far, but not too crazily far. With his transfiguration magic, his mastery over it, Guo Jia can bend matter and energy pretty much to his will-- he can take hold of the matter around him in it’s various forms, turn it into energy, and then turn that energy into just about anything he wants, assuming the object or item he has in mind is something he’s seen in person at least once. This can allow Guo Jia to do some pretty wild things, but he is unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for everyone else) limited by his illness, meaning that his magic will take too far a toll on him and kill him before he’s able to do anything truly crazy like tearing the time-space continuum apart or something on that scale. Using any of his magic too much stands a chance of making him seriously ill or killing him, actually, but his transfiguration magic especially. So sure he’s dangerous, very dangerous, but not on any crazy cosmic level, not on his own.

"Can change the way the world is put together.“

The Hedonist: This character is strongly motivated by a desire to be happy and experience various kinds of pleasure. They seldom consider or care for the long term effects their actions may have on them, let alone the short term effects they may bring upon others. Guo Jia’s lack of consideration for his long term well being and the effects his actions have on others when it comes to seeking his various pleasures (flirting, drinking, partying, warfare, etc) come from the knowledge that he will probably die young, and therefore the ‘here and now’ is all that is important. He has to enjoy every day like it could be his last, because it very well could be.

“ Someone motivated by desires for sensual pleasures.”

Number Two: Throughout all his timelines, Guo Jia inevitably ends up as the right hand man to whoever it is he is working for or serves, simply by way of how useful he is, how effective his advice and strategies can be, and how unflinchingly loyal he can be. Guo Jia’s dynamic with Cao Cao in his original timeline is a good example of this, where Cao Cao came to consult Guo Jia first on everything, and as a result, ended up conquering northern China against odd’s that would have otherwise seemed impossible. Cao Cao had many, many talented individuals in their employ of course, some who excelled past Guo Jia in certain areas, but even so Guo Jia literally became the most instrumental person Cao Cao had in his ranks. (if he’s serving a more boss Guo Jia probably becomes more akin to The Dragon, but same thing just about just different alignments lmao).

“ The Leader's right-hand man or second-in-command. ”

Incurable Cough of Death: A cough that is usually accompanied by nasty amounts of blood from the mouth, that may also involve collapsing. The character afflicted with this ailment will probably try to hide it and will usually succeed until they actually pass out and/or die. Thematically, the unnamed disease tends to act like pneumonia or tuberculosis, even in futuristic settings where those real diseases might be cured. Other times it’s a hyped up version of unfortunately very real symptoms of chronically overworked people. For Guo Jia, its not an actual sickness as much as it is an incompatibility between his soul and body, but it functions like an illness and he, and just about everyone else, believes it to be one. It causes him to get very sick, cough up blood, etc-- illness-like enough for this trope.

“Who coughs, dies.”

Honorable mentions: Alchemy Is Magic, Awesomeness by Analysis, The Alcoholic, Heroic Sacrifice, Improbable Weapon User, Divine Parentage, Anti Magic, Sadistic Choice, Glass Cannon, Meaningful Name, Undying Loyalty, Necessarily Evil

#;i'm twisting allegories now (HEADCANON);

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Ali & Carly

Ali: How do you like your 🥚🍳 in the morning? Carly: no 🐣 Carly: ha Ali: 🐔 didn't show up in your roost later, did he? Carly: he must be scared of you Carly: 🔮 Ali: or my 🐺 Carly: maybe Ali: eggs aside, how you feeling, chick? Carly: 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: 👎👎👎👎👎 Ali: unacceptable! Ali: what do you need, kill or cure? Carly: cure forever Carly: im too young to die Ali: I'll swing by with my witches brew Ali: actually doesn't taste like ☠ either Ali: pure 😇 Carly: aw Carly: really? Ali: 'course, not gonna half-arse the job Ali: and it makes a full pot, no sense in not sharing the 💚 Carly: 💙 Carly: wat does it taste like? Ali: like Christmas 🎄🎅🤶🎁❄️🌨️☃️✨🌟 Carly: 😋😊🥰 Ali: it's got ginger and peppermint in Ali: the only other person hanging out their arse is my brother and he would rather die 'cos he's grumpy 👴 man energy so Carly: no 🦃 tho yea?! ha Carly: oh no he sounds like my da Carly: which cute bro is it? Ali: definitely not 😂 Ali: some greens but not sprouts Ali: the freckly one Carly: did u heal my heart to 💔😢? Carly: course itd be the most beautiful one Ali: oh no, you're delirious Ali: I'll come quick 😜 Carly: dont b jealous 👼 hes only the most beautiful boy Ali: 😏 My ma'll be gutted Carly: do u have a tea for that? Ali: 🍋 'cos she's so bitter? Ali: I'll see if she goes for it Carly: noooo 🍯 so she wont be Ali: you're too sweet yourself, Walsh Carly: aw Carly: but ur the 1 who saved me Carly: ur the sweetest Ali: anyone would Carly: nah ur the 1st Carly: not just saying it to u get ur fairy wings Ali: had to fly away from that particular 🐔 plenty myself Ali: harmless and flightless though he is, most the time Carly: yea Carly: he talks about u wen hes been on it Carly: the 1 that flew away Ali: uh oh Ali: can't let a boy ✂ your wings Ali: ever Ali: ever Ali: 👼🏽 🐔 🐧 🐦 🐤 🐣 🐥 🦆 🦢 🦅 🦉 🦚 🦜 🦇 🐝 🦋 🐞 🦗 🦟 🐓 🦃 🕊 Carly: im 😕💫🙃 but idk if those were the guests i danced with Carly: did get a cute lil 🎶🎤 to fall asleep to tho 💙🕊 Carly: 🌚🌝🌛🌜🌞 Ali: very 👸 of you though Ali: I can 👀 it Carly: my ma is trying to make me clean Carly: 🐇🐁🐀🐿🦔🐾 pls Ali: also unacceptable Ali: not 'til you're better Ali: use my wings to fly through and 🤞 he don't get the wrong idea about who I'm there to see Carly: [sends her a pic of whatever caravan mess she caused last night that her mum is raging about] Carly: so u can play a game of spot whats got her 😠 Carly: cuz idk Ali: Fun 🧐🤔🤨 Ali: angry mothers are my forte Ali: [does the circling the hazzards moment on the pic] Carly: making her angry is mine but nah to knowing y ever ever Carly: k ur cute & smart Carly: 🌟 Ali: it's rarely logical, but 🤫 on that or it's hulk levels in 0-60 Ali: how are you this nice when you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: that's a skill, rare one at that 💎✨ Carly: my da is looking green must of had his own 🎶🍻💃 ha Carly: idk i can b nicer? but k now i know ronan aint been talking bout me when hes 🍺 or 💊 Ali: can be a tea party for three Ali: have to bring his own 🎩 though Ali: not to me anyway Ali: but as you can tell Ali: 🐺 keeps all the 🐓🐓🐓 away Carly: 🐇🐇🐇♠️♣️♥️♦️🐇🐇🐇 Carly: she is fierce Ali: she likes to think so Ali: 🐶 really Carly: course ur not scared of her silly Carly: u love her Carly: im a 🐈 person ha Ali: [sends her a load of pictures of Bluebeard she didn't ask for rather than being like do I love her hmm] Carly: AW!!!! Carly: 🥰🤗 Ali: he's captain ☠🏴 but there's always room aboard Carly: thats the best offer ive had from a gentleman ever ever ever Carly: whats his name? Ali: Bluebeard Ali: and he is MOSTLY a gentleman if you can handle some toe nibbling Carly: 😍😍😍😍 Carly: into it Carly: ive done more for lads i just met who aint as beautiful so Ali: 😂 I feel that Ali: honestly, it's quite comforting, when he doesn't sneak attack you with it Carly: [sends her a selfie that shouldn't be as adorable as it is] Carly: now u can introduce us Carly: 👋 baby blue Ali: the 😍😍😍😍 are mutual Ali: I can tell Carly: yay Carly: 🧡 Ali: is there anything else you need/we want for the tea party? Ali: en-route at last Carly: ur really coming? Ali: yeah, sorry I was ages, it's a whole process brewing it Ali: also a dead giveaway you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 which obvs my ma takes as her cue to be all Spanish inquisition about it Ali: 📚 of my mostly-fictional-but-which-are-and-which-aren't-mother exploits later Carly: sorry iou so much magic Ali: nah, don't worry about it 👸 Ali: who doesn't love a little scandal with their morning brew? she deffo does Carly: its too late im looking for 🍀 Carly: among the 🌼🌼🌼 Ali: awh Ali: I'm never turning down extra luck Ali: we can make daisy-chains Carly: its the dresscode Carly: soz da Ali: does he have a 🧔? Ali: that's a #look Carly: not rn Carly: my ma wasnt on @ me only to clean up Carly: he had his turn Ali: damn it Ali: maybe a nice belt Ali: I'll be 🤔 Carly: dont b 💔😢 he has bushy eyebrows Ali: same Ali: he's earnt his invite back Ali: your ma gonna have to chill though Ali: and it ain't that kinda tea 💔 Carly: you wont b able to tell if shes angry or surprised Ali: 😚 ⬅ I know the vibe Ali: you do you babe Carly: she used to let me sort em out but there was an accident Carly: which im sworn to secrecy about Ali: I'm so good with secrets 🙏🙏🙏 Carly: k Carly: my head zoned out but my hands kept going like Ali: you were meditating you can't help having 🌌🧠 Ali: I'll 🤭 now and never tell, don't worry Mrs W Carly: @ school yea im meditating on your q sir relax Carly: ha love that Ali: they just ask questions to answer it themselves, what is the point Carly: u coming for my ma again? Ali: 🤫 bad first impression, that Carly: shes heard it from ronan too sorry Carly: lad has loose lips Ali: honestly Ali: 🙄 can't keep up with my bad reputation Carly: ud think hed be better at kissing Carly: its talk talk talk Carly: more good things about u than ive made it seem like tho Ali: he was a big talker Ali: probably 'cos he ain't allowed with the lads Carly: if he talked about what a 👼 u are & how 💔😢 he is theyd uninvite him from the bonfire Carly: its sweet really how hung up hes got Ali: he only thinks I'm an 👼 'cos he took my virginity probs Ali: that's more suitable 🔥side chat Carly: he goes on about that alot but I thought he was lying Carly: oh no that sounds bad Carly: not calling u a slag ur obvs not its y he likes u more Ali: 😂 I'm fine with slag Ali: all definition dependent anyway Carly: yea same Carly: can be hot if ur in the mood Ali: right, and if I'm a slag 'cos I didn't marry him then I'll take it Carly: & hes not allowed to marry gorgers theyd wanna throw him in the 🔥 Ali: exactly Ali: we can't both be 💔😢 forever can we boy Carly: just me @ the party til u came to my rescue Ali: 🥺 Ali: What was he even on about then, like? Ali: dickhead Carly: idk i zone out wen he shouts @ me too Ali: I can always poison a cup and send it his way Ali: just say the word Carly: hes not that bad Ali: okay okay, just some laxatives Ali: 'cos he's a bit 💩 Carly: ha Ali: no 🌼🌼🌼 unless he says soz then Carly: but his beautiful curls 🥺 Ali: hmm, a good point Ali: be strong, baby Carly: ill throw one @ him & run away Carly: back to u Ali: you're so adorable Carly: says u Carly: 👼👸🏼 Ali: 💚 we're gonna have an adventure when the tea hits okay Ali: I've decided Carly: k thats the kinda 🎄🎅🤶🎁 it is Carly: i do want the energy of a kid on xmas morning Ali: that's the best Ali: how I'm tryna be every day Carly: 💫⭐️🌟✨⚡️☄️ 🚀🛸 Ali: if only 🚀 Ali: this bike can only go as fast as my lil legs can carry, like Carly: aw baby Carly: i shouldve asked u where u live before this 2nd rescue was launched Carly: im sorry Ali: No distance is too far for a fair maiden Carly: ill have to see what other 🔮 i can find before u get here Carly: dont love ious Ali: there's no ious Carly: [sending her loads of pics of her with or just pics of the cat lady's cats that she's rounding up for this tea party and they're adorable] Ali: 😍💞😻 Ali: okay, non-debt fully paid though Carly: [just rambling about the names she's given each cat cos her and cat lady don't know each other properly til Ali comes along and like facts about each cat/her fave things cos she's a big nerd] Ali: I love them Ali: I'm gonna get them some 🐟🐟🐟 when I get tea party tings Ali: some cream, awh, okay, this is happening Carly: im picking enough 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼 for everyone Ali: should've put Bluebs in my basket Ali: next time Carly: aw Carly: Humbug might try & fight him Carly: youd b there to protect him tho Ali: I can ref Ali: my little brother is always trying to play-fight everyone so I'm well-versed Carly: is he ticklish? that works for me Carly: broken up lots of fights Ali: big time Ali: his kryptonite Ali: reckon it's against the rules in professional fights but preparing him for anything like any good big sister Carly: ha Carly: aw i bet ur an amazing sister Carly: if i had 1 maybe id wanna be on site sometimes Carly: my ma's eyebrows r hardly a call to home Ali: he might disagree but he's 5 so what does he know 😉 Ali: feel that though Ali: home is just a base, whole 🌍 out there Carly: wen ur 5 you argue to argue Carly: yea if u dont use ur wings theyll think u dont want em 💔😢 Ali: flying is like riding a 🚲 though Carly: r we goin on a 🚲 adventure? Ali: definitely Ali: ugh, need one of those wagons for the 😻😻😻s Carly: ☺️its gonna b so fun! Carly: we might meet more 🐈🐈🐈🐈 Ali: way better than 🐔 Carly: ha Carly: do u have 🔮 left to help me find shoes? Ali: have you checked the fridge? Carly: [a pause while she do] Carly: theyre not there 😕🧐 Ali: damn, that'd be the last place I'd look though Ali: were they in the mess your Ma was sounding off about fr Carly: o mayb Carly: if i was wearing any when you dropped me off Ali: 🤔 I don't know if I recall any glass slippers Ali: I'll ask Lene hold up Carly: 👸 energy Carly: but idk if i wanna scary 🐺 at my door Ali: turns out she's actually your 👵 Carly: ha my grandma is 💍 to god Carly: its not close to the energy shes putting out Ali: she'd probably tell your actual that God is a gay girl Ali: nah she's well 😇 around fam, just hide behind your Ma and me, baby, you'll be fine Carly: ha that wasn't in any of the kids bible stories she sent me every 🎄🎅🤶🎁 Carly: her god is 😠 than Humbug Carly: he likes to shout so i gotta zone out Carly: aw that's sweet ur ma loves her too? Ali: Hooray for Catholicism, yeah? 😏 Ali: she loves my Ma, more like Carly: we spend our sundays on our knees nana but its 🚽🤮 or u kno a bigger sin Carly: u do look like her i remember Ali: that's not QUITE 🚽🤮 levels but close 😂 Carly: nah its nice u have the same 👀💙✨ Carly: idk who i look like Carly: postman maybe Ali: now I don't know whether to 😳 or be 🤨 you like my Ma too Ali: you look like you and that's Ali: 💛 😍 😘 🥰 😚 👸 👼🏽 🐰 🌼 🌻 🌞 🍓 🍑 🍨 🍰 🍭 🍬 🎆 💜 Carly: yea 🤞🙏🌠 the postman isnt my da cuz hes a ride Carly: aw now youve got me 😳 Ali: rude, my postman is not Carly: 🚫💌 then baby Carly: ill text u instead Ali: so grumpy, don't stick your hand right into our house if you don't wanna get bitten, sir Ali: not by me, whatever Ronan has said Ali: though I'm well flattered I'm getting a text back Carly: ha its k its not that u use too much teeth Carly: & course ur my hero Carly: tho 🤞🙏🌠 wont b an sos every time Ali: good, can't have him putting you off with blatant lies Ali: it won't be if I do a better job at the heroics and get there before any bad shit can happen Carly: its k i like it Carly: helps me remember what i did Carly: 💔😢 no lads r spelling their names out in bruises for the who Carly: 🐇🐾🐇🐾🐇 Carly: nooo theres no better u could do Carly: ur flying to me faster than anyone has ever ever Ali: amateurs, like Ali: so rude, ain't they heard you're 👸 Ali: I'm basically there now, prepare for the best tea party you've ever been to Carly: aint wat theyve heard but idc Carly: yay 💙 i havent had 1 since me & my 🧸🧸🧸 Ali: I'll be 🎶🔊 it so get in the know lads Ali: awh, can I meet them too? Carly: not too 🔊 or ur gf will bite me which could b fun but im not trying to do u like 💔😢 Carly: some r shyer than others but if u work ur 🔮 how u did for me ull make friends Ali: fill your boots, babe, I don't reckon she's your type, like Ali: I'll be on my best behaviour 🤞 Ali: the loveliest guest you've ever had 🤞🤞 Carly: be fun though Carly: not boring Ali: 😲😲 Ali: Is that the impression I give off? Ali: or another Ronan tale, either way Ali: gonna have to prove otherwise now in the most extra ways imaginable Carly: nahhh Carly: he don't lie to me its his 1 saving grace Carly: its just like a pls Carly: to u & the universe Ali: I won't be boring Ali: trust me Carly: k Carly: i do ur a lifesaver Ali: nah Ali: just happy to help Carly: im happy we r mates Ali: me too Ali: idk why we weren't before, like Ali: too many people at school Carly: & i dont go much ha Ali: this is true Ali: lesser spotted walsh 🐦 Carly: oooh wat colours am i Ali: 💗💜💛🧡💗 Carly: cute Ali: very Carly: wats ur fave colour? Ali: It's a harder question than people reckon, that Ali: like, there's so many beautiful things of every colour Ali: if I can decide for the day, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to all the others Carly: sorry Carly: i havent decided on mine either Carly: when i was a lil kid it was 💛 for the 🌞 then wen i started goin out it was silver for wat i thought the 🌚 looked like Carly: but ive seen so many new colours since Ali: kids always know Ali: they're much smarter than adults about everything Carly: i bet ur lil bro is the smartest Carly: like u Ali: he likes red for 🚨❌🛑⛔️🚫💯‼️🥊🥤 Ali: and I see the appeal Carly: does he like 🍎? i kno somewhere that sells the reddest shiniest 1s Carly: or we cud just throw 🍅s Ali: he's at the anti-fruit stage Ali: but I reckon he could be convinced if we let him smother 'em in caramel and sprinkles Carly: its a date Ali: Me first

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stomachflu · 6 years ago

Text

hey, remember like a year ago when i was like “maybe i’ll write a second part to the story of how lynn and reed met if i feel like it?” well i’ve been struggling with

and i thought that i’d write something Just For Me to get me back in the swing of things.

VERY long stomach flu-oriented fic (planning for another few parts! this isn’t the last one!!), very self indulgent. warnings for mentions of scat, but nothing explicit. hope yall enjoy!

---

Lynn groaned as she felt her phone buzz in her back pocket, every muscle in her body aching as she twisted to grab it. It was nearly too much effort to switch the too-bright screen on, let alone read the message with watery eyes. The first one was, apparently, from an hour ago.

>Reed: hey did u make it back home ok

>Reed: lynn

>Reed: are you ok

Lynn closed her eyes, resting her head against the cool metal side of the bathroom stall. She’d traded numbers with Reed after they’d walked her to the clinic before heading to class, where she’d promised to text them that she was okay prior to receiving an official diagnosis of “godawful stomach flu” with the proposed cure of “wait it out, if you can’t keep water down after a few hours then come back for an IV“.

>Lynn: not rly

Her head swam and her hands were shaking, making it hard to compose a message. Reed was already typing a response to her last text.

>Lynn: my roommate’s apparently a germophobe? and she wont let me into the room unless I’m not gonna puke

>Lynn: so ive just been like camping out in the lounge & now I'm like chilling in the bathroom

>Lynn: not great but

She leaned back, exhaling shakily as the stall swam around her. Fuck. She was pretty sure that her fever was increasing as she leaned back over the toilet seat, holding her hair back with both hands as she gagged softly, opaque saliva falling from her lips. She couldn’t bring anything up still, despite the constant sloshing of her stomach being an ever-present reminder of how much there still was in there. When the wave of nausea finally passed, she had two new texts.

>Reed: >:o!

>Reed: youre in the new dorm right

>Lynn: whats up

>Reed: ok I know i’m just some rando you met today but if you wanna crash on my couch or smth its gotta be more comfy than the lounge at 4am

>Reed: i promise i’m not a serial killer tho

Lynn groaned as she stood up, limping out of the bathroom and ignoring the disgusted looks of girls at the sinks -- she’d been gagging in that stall for at least twenty minutes -- only to find that some other couple had sat down on the couch she’d planned to sleep on. There were a few chairs, all hard wood, and she sat down in one of them as she wrote a response, trying hard to control her tears. She was just overemotional from fever, that was all. She hugged her stomach, rocking back and forth as she typed.

>Lynn: actually that would be great if that's ok w you

>Reed: great! ill be at yr dorm in like 15min, where should I meet you?

Lynn’s stomach lurched, and she ran out of the lounge again, falling to her knees for the fourth time that day. Just like every other time, she retched wetly, gagging and spitting wads of cloudy bile into the toilet, unable to bring up anything significant.

She managed to type out the word bathroom in-between heaves, and it seemed like no time had passed at all before there was a sharp knock on the door, then the creak of hinges opening.

“Lynn? You in there?”

She could only groan, but managed to unlock the stall door and stumble towards Reed, who grabbed her arm immediately, supporting her. “Woah, you’re not lookin’ so hot.”

The two of them were getting some very dirty looks from the other occupants of the bathroom, so Lynn tried to stumble towards the door, unable to get very far without leaning on Reed. “Not... Not feeling so hot either,” she said, pressing her free hand to her stomach.

“No shit, you’re burning up.” Reed pressed a hand to Lynn’s forehead, pulling it back in mock shock. “My car’s just in the parking lot, do you think you can walk there?”

Lynn hummed, trying not to open her mouth. Reed let her lean against them as she stumbled down the hall. She braced herself for the chill of the cold November air as they walked outside, but with Reed’s arm around her, she barely felt the cold.

“I’m just down the street,” Reed said, guiding her to what was apparently their car, “but I figured you wouldn’t wanna walk.”

Lynn swallowed back bile. “At this point, I don’t even... I don’t even care if you’re a serial killer, I just wanna lie down.”

“I think we can make that work.”

Holy shit, Reed was strong as hell, Lynn mused feverishly, leaning nearly all her weight on them as they transitioned her into the car with one fluid motion. They even buckled her seat belt for her, making some soft noise when she moaned in pain as the strap touched her stomach.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna head to urgent care?” Reed asked. “They might be better than the student health center, and you’re really not looking good.”

Lynn shook her head, a dizzying motion that took more energy than she had. “Nah... I just wanna rest.”

“If you say so.” There was that worried note in their voice again, and Lynn leaned her head against the seat as the car lurched into motion, and so did her stomach. “I think there’s some trash bags in the glove compartment if you need ‘em. I’ll try to drive safe, but this thing? Is kind of a beater. You should see what it’s like on ice, though.”

Lynn made a small noise of acknowledgment, wincing as they bumped over mounds of slush. Saliva pooled under her tongue, and she swallowed hard. Not here, she thought. God, please not in front of Reed. Her throat burned with acid, and she gripped her stomach tightly, one hand covering her mouth. Just as her tongue lifted with a strong gag, a plastic bag was shoved into her lap. Gratefully, she buried her head in it.

“You’re okay, just get it up,” she heard Reed say, and then, “Oh, god,” as hot, foamy bile splashed into the bag, followed by a series of gurgling burps. “You’re really not feeling well, huh?”

She shook her head miserably, spitting into the bag and eventually wiping away a thick strand of mucus on the edge of the plastic before twisting it shut in disgust. “God. No. My stomach hurts so bad.”

“Do you need to get out for a sec? Being in the car probably can’t help.”

“Maybe.” Her throat still felt tight, and she tried to force a burp as she fumbled with the car door, only to end up barely scrambling to undo her seatbelt in time as she retched again and again, mucus falling in a steaming pile in the snow. Stomach finally empty for now, she belched emptily, a cloud of condensation forming as she did so.

Lynn vaguely became aware that someone was rubbing her back, and when she turned, Reed was holding her steady. “Ready to go?” they asked.

Lynn scrubbed at her watering eyes. “Yeah, she said weakly as they helped her back into the car. “God, this must be so gross for you.”

Reed shrugged as they put the key in the ignition. “Eh. I’ve got a strong stomach. Not really easily grossed out, you know? Besides, you're sick, so it’s not like it’s your fault. Someone’s gotta help you”

---

She managed to make it to Reed’s apartment without vomiting, though they did have to pull over several times so that she could take deep breaths out of the open window. Their apartment was several flights up, and they’d grimaced before slinging an arm around her shoulders, supporting most of her weight without even asking. Lynn didn’t even bother to protest -- they practically carried her up the stairs, but all she could care about was the fact that they were warm against her freezing skin.

“Okay!” Reed said, fumbling with the keys. “It’s not much, but at least I have a couch.”

Their apartment was small and cramped. The door opened onto a living room of sorts, with two faded couches forming a L-shape across from a TV. A slightly torn rug sat underneath a coffee table piled high with books and takeout boxes, and Reed rushed to clear it off, leaving Lynn standing by the front door, weaving back and forth.

There was a wall with an entryway seperating what Lynn assumed to the the kitchen area to her right, with another door closer to the entryway. On the left wall, close to where the couch sat, was a second door that was partially open. From the mess inside, she could guess it was Reed’s bedroom.

“C’mon in,” Reed said, gesturing to the couch. “Um, sit down, maybe? You look like you’re gonna die. Do you have any -- God, your roommate really kicked you out with nothing, huh? I was gonna ask if you wanted to change into, like, pajamas or anything, but you don’t even have a coat on.”

“Um,” Lynn said, still hovering awkwardly. “Yeah. She really didn’t want me to infect her.”

“Cool, cool. She’s an asshole.”

“Um --”

“No worries, I probably have something that’ll fit you.” Lynn very much doubted that, given that Reed had a good foot on her. “Do you need anything else? Like, food, we should probably make sure that you eat at some point? And I think that I might have some fever reducers somewhere around here --”

Lynn’s stomach cramped harshly. “Um,” she interrupted them, a note of urgency in her voice. “Do you have a bathroom I can use?”

“’Course! It’s that door--” Reed pointed to the closed door near the entrance Lynn had noticed earlier. “-- right there. Um, do you need help?”

Her guts churned again, and she managed a wan grimace. “I think I’ll be okay.”

Much to Lynn’s relief, their bathroom was almost shockingly clean. Her stomach still felt sore and achy after she’d finished expelling its contents from the other end; her nausea was fading for now, but the tightness in her throat and gnawing feeling in her stomach told her that she was far from done with this illness. She stumbled out of the bathroom, rubbing her aching stomach and nearly tripped over a pile of clothes on the floor.

“Those are for you,” Reed called from somewhere in the depths of the apartment. “Try ‘em on!”

Lynn retreated back into the bathroom, yanking her shirt off. The sweatpants Reed had provided just fit if the drawstring was pulled all the way, and their hoodie was a very loose fit, but the fuzzy inside felt wonderful against her sore stomach.

She sank down onto the larger of the two couches, which Reed had lined with sheets and stacked blankets on while she was gone. She pulled one up to her shoulders as Reed emerged from the kitchen area, carrying a mug of something steaming in one hand and a thermometer in the other.

“Hey,” they said. “Do me a favor and open wide, ‘kay? You’re not looking too hot, and I wanna know how worried I should be.”

“’s just the flu,” Lynn said weakly, but allowed Reed to slip the thermometer under her tongue. It beeped an agonizing minute later, and Reed winced at the number.

“102.3. That’s... not good,” they said. “I think that you should really rethink urgent care.”

Lynn groaned. “’M fine, really. Just need to rest.”

“Okay,” Reed said. “That’s fine, but I’m gonna need you to drink something first, okay? We’re gonna need you to keep some fluids down if you don’t wanna land in the emergency room.”

“‘Kay.” Lynn accepted a sip of the mug that Reed pressed into her hands. It was some kind of green tea, and it actually tasted... pretty good? “Thanks,” she whispered, her throat sore from fever and vomiting.

“No prob, dude,” Reed said, taking the mug from her hands. “Get some rest, okay?”

Lynn nodded, already drifting off into sleep.

---

She was vaguely aware of being woken on and off through the next few hours, Reed coaxing her to sip ice water or take her temperature before letting her slip back into feverish dreams. When she finally fought her way back to consciousness, the room was dark. The digital clock glowing on the coffee table read 8pm. She’d texted Reed to get her at... what was it, 2?

Groggy, head spinning, Lynn sat up. She felt awful, overheated and sweaty. She could just make out the shape of Reed’s body around the corner at the kitchen table, the glow of their phone illuminating the outline of their face. As if on instinct, they turned to face her.

“Hey,” they said, scooting their chair back. “You okay if I turn some lights on?”

Lynn nodded, then, remembering that it was dark as shit, said, “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Cool.” They turned on a lamp beside the couch, sitting at the end, near her feet. “How’re ya feeling? Your fever is still pretty high, d’ya think you could keep down some soup?”

Food? Ugh. Lynn made a face, but Reed pressed on. “C’mon, you need something in your stomach. Like, not just water, but actual nutrition, or you’ll just get sicker.”

Her stomach felt vaguely queasy, but Lynn shrugged. “I’ll try.”

“Great! I’ll warm some up for you.”

She dozed as the microwave ran and then beeped, and then Reed helped her sit up against the pillows with the bowl of soup in her lap. Her stomach gurgled as she ate, but seemed to accept the first swallow, so she did her best. She’d managed about three-quarters of the bowl when her stomach gurgled ominously, and she set it down.

“I don’t think I can eat anymore.”

“Okay, no problem,” Reed said. “Mind if I take your temperature again?”

Lynn shrugged noncommittally, and they whipped out the thermometer. She was glad when it beeped -- the whole time she was sitting up she’d been shaking with chills, and she quickly buried herself back under the blankets, swallowing a queasy burp.

They didn’t read out the temperature this time, just sighed. “If I leave you with some water, will you drink it? The most important thing right now is to keep hydrated.”

“Um. Sure.” Reed pushed forward a glass of water, and Lynn smiled shakily, but didn’t drink it. “I just don’t wanna puke again, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it. You must feel awful,” Reed said, and Lynn laughed hoarsely.

“That’s an understatement.”

“I get it. But you gotta drink something. You’ll feel worse if you don’t.”

Lynn hesitantly picked up the glass -- it felt too heavy in her shaking hand -- and cautiously took a small sip, and then another. To distract herself from the uneasy feeling in her belly, she asked, “Can I ask a personal question?”

“That depends... how personal are we talking? ‘Cause if we’re gonna get in there with the questions, you gotta buy me dinner first.” Reed wiggled their eyebrows, and Lynn felt a warmth that had nothing to do with fever run down her spine.

“Um. Why are you doing this?”

“What, talking to you? ‘Cause I’m bored, and there’s nothing on TV. I mean, if you want me to shut up, I can?”

“No! Like, taking care of a sick stranger you’ve never met. Like, gross sick.”

“Eh.” Reed shoved their hands in their pockets, looking away. “It’s what I would’ve wanted someone to do for me.”

There might have been a story there, but Reed looked a little down, so Lynn decided not to press. “Well. In that case, thank you. It’s appreciated.” Her stomach gurgled again, going from uneasy to actively nauseous in half a second. “Shit -” she gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth and throwing off the blankets.

Reed jumped up, maybe to help her, but she was already unsteadily standing, the cold air a shock to her system after staying under the blankets for so long. “Hmmmk!” she gagged, saliva flooding her mouth as she wobbled towards the bathroom as fast as her weak body would let her.

She didn’t make it.

Lynn was just in the threshold of the bathroom when her stomach lurched, squeezing as she heaved again, and she lost it, vomiting into her palm and all over the floor. The sink was closer than the toilet, so she lurched over to it, barely making it over the counter before undigested soup came flooding up her throat, forming a foaming mess in the basin. She heaved again, drawing in a ragged breath before she felt a large, calming hand on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry!” she sobbed, tears running down her face. “I didn’t mean to -- I didn’t know I was gonna be sick, and I tried to get to the bathroom, I really tried --”

“Hey,” Reed said. “Hey. Lynn. Dude. It’s okay. That was kind of my fault anyways.”

“It’s not! I puked all over your floor, and in your sink --” The liquid was slowly draining now, but chunks of undigested noodles and chicken and vegetables were clogging the drain. God, what had she done? "I’ll clean it up, I promise!”

“You don’t have to worry about that, I got it,” they said softly. “Don’t make yourself more upset, you’ll get --” They sighed a little as she burped over the basin again, bringing up a torrent of chunky liquid. “--Sick.”

“Sorry,” Lynn managed when she was done dry-heaving. All that would come up was airy burps.

“Again,” Reed said, “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have forced you to eat or drink when you weren’t ready for it, and I definitely should’ve given you a trash can or something.” They shrugged. “Nothing that can’t be cleaned, so. Lesson learned.”

Reed guided Lynn over to sit on the closed toilet seat. “Sit here for me while I clean this up, okay? Just let me know if you start feeling bad again.”

Lynn took in a shaky breath. “Okay.”

Her stomach was cramping hard again, and she wrapped both arms around it, hunched over. Through a haze of fever, she watched as Reed, wearing a pair of dish gloves, scrubbed the sink and mopped the floor. Then, once the bathroom smelled of soap and disinfectant, they wet a washcloth with warm water and crouched down so they were eye level with her.

“Hey. I’m gonna clean you up a bit, okay?” Lynn nodded miserably, sweaty hair sticking to her face. She felt awful, shaking with chills and fever alternately, head swimming.

Reed gently wiped her face with the cloth, then her arms and hands. They re-folded it and rinsed it again, wringing it out and draping it against the back of her neck. She nearly gasped when it touched her skin. They’d used cool water this time, and it felt wonderful.

“There we go,” they said. “I bet you’re probably wanting a toothbrush or some mouthwash.”

God, she did feel gross. “Yeah,” Lynn croaked. “That’d be nice.”

“Cool, okay, good. Just stay here for a sec while I go grab some from the closet, okay?”

“Where else would I go?” Lynn’s eyes grew heavy. Sure, she had other places to go, but for now, she was glad to be right here.

#emetophilia #emeto #my fic

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that-nonbinary-ass · 5 years ago

Text

Stars

I got the inspiration from an avengers oneshot

Have some patton angst

1 year before death

Dear diary: I believe that stars shine brighter when your about to die i had always believed that, but now that i am actually closer to death then ever before, nothing could be more true

Only 2 days ago i found out that i have an undiscovered disease that could kill me very soon if they don't find a cure. I have surprisingly come to terms and accepted the fact that I might die, it's not like I want to die, but I guess there is no way to avoid it, I just have to hope that they find a cure so i don't have to die

I'm not going to tell anyone yet, not until its definite that im going to die or not. I really hope I don't die because virgil (my boyfriend) his mum died the other day and I don't want to hurt him even more

The doctors don't know how fast this disease will kill me or how fast its spreading

Patton~

11 months before death

Dear diary: The doctors haven't said anything about my illness yet, but that's fine, I believe they are doing their best!

I think the others notice i'm acting more secretive lately, i need to learn how to act better. Every time they come up to me and ask what's wrong i just assure them that i'm all good

Is it good to lie to them? Am I being mean by not telling them? Or am i just sparing their feelings?

Patton~

9 months before death

Dear diary: The doctors still haven't said anythig but im not giving up hope, I believe they can do it

I think ive finally managed to convince the others that i'm fine because they have stopped asking me but they do have this weird look in their eyes when they see me

Me and virgil went on a date last night and we had loads of fun. We went bowling then we went to the super fancy restaurant across the road then we went to the arcade and played games till about 2am. I don't think im going to tell him yet ...I don't want to hurt him

Patton~

8 months before death

Dear diary: I refuse to give up hope, so what if the doctors haven't gotten back to me yet, maybe they're still too busy with the medicine, but I am having doubts, I want to believe that they are trying to help me.

The others are starting to get worried about me but I always tell them to not worry, they don't believe me though, I think their thinking of getting me to the doctor to see whats wrong. I don't know what to do because I don't want them to know, I don't want them to pity or treat me any differently then I am now.

Now days my gut always feels weird, like im always sick, it's a little worrying but i have to push through and look after my kiddos and boyfriend

It's a bit like acting now, i always have to act ok, like my gut isn't telling me to stop what im doing. Oh well, I hope the doctors find a cure soon

Patton~

6 months before death

Dear diary: Things are starting to get bad, it has gotten harder to breath and i now have blood patches showing up on my skin on my stomach, I always feel like im going to throw up and it's making it really hard to sleep at night. I went to the doctors to ask what's happening, they said that my stomach was internally bleeding and that they are trying really hard to find a cure. I really hope they do because i'm getting really scared, i don't want to die

I’ve started going out at night and looking up at the stars just admiring their beauty. Any day now feels like my last day, and that just makes me appreciate the memories more, i try not to cry but it's so hard, the thought of leaving life and making your loved ones hurt, its heartbreaking

I still haven't told anyone, i don't want to worry them but i will have to soon because i don't want to die and them not to know how i did

Patton~

4 months before death

Dear diary: Everything has gotten hard. breathing, eating, sleeping, talking and even walking, it sucks, i think i might tell someone soon. They all know there is something wrong with me. I've got blood patches all over my skin i am always sleep deprived and pale.

I think i’ll tell virgil, i know that he is the most anxious but i trust him the most, he is my boyfriend after all

It's all very scary. Not knowing what will happen. What it's like after you die, i feel like i've given up hope on the cure. I should just accept death and move on, but I can't, it's not that easy, i wish it was though

Patton~

2 months before death

Dear diary: I told them all a month ago. I told virgil first he sat there and stared off into space with constant tears in his eyes and traveling down his face, he looked so heartbroken. After about 3 minutes he tackled me into a hug and sobbed into my shirt

I told roman next he instantly started sobbing and hugging me. He kept telling me he didn't want me to go. I told him I didn't either but it was inevitable.

I told logan last, he looked at me and did the unexpected he started crying. The emotionless logan started crying. He hugged me and told me that they will all look after me until the final day

It makes me feel so happy that they are all there for me

After I told them all we went out and layed on the grass looking at the stars talking about past memories and how it all changed. I eventually fell asleep outside with them

Patton~

1 month before death

Dear diary: I am basically bed-ridden. I can hardly walk anymore and i makes me so sad that I have to rely on the others to do my things for me

Nowadays I'm always in pain. Just moving my arm up brings me immense pain, like someone is repeatedly stabbing my arm or burning it over a naked flame. It's not fair what did I do to deserve this? Nothing that's what. The universe is just cruel. Making people go through pain any form of pain is mean

The doctors said that they won’t be able to find the cure fast enough to give it to me and let me live they said they were very sorry. Them telling me that put it all into perspective. I'm going to die. And that fact is absolutely terrifying. I cry myself to sleep each night because im that scared

Patton~

Death day

Dear diary… Today is the day, I can feel it. I'm going to die today. I've gone back and marked the dates of my previous entries, I've written my goodbye notes and im now ready to go with the people I love around me I have accepted the fact that I will die. But it won't be a peaceful death. It's going to be painful, well i think it is because thats what im feeling right now, pain, more then ever before, it feels like my body is being ripped open and chopped into tiny pieces and i can feel it all. Its torture.

So here I lie under the stars with all my loved ones watching them as they sparkled in the sky. I felt my end coming closer as i watched on and i can prove the theory that stars do shine brighter as your about to die.

They looked like a million little fireflies in the sky and it was hypnotizing making me forget everything that has happened over the past year, if only for a second.

If you're logan roman or virgil reading this after I die. Just remember i love you so so much

Goodbye

Patton~

Virgil finished reading patton's diary and he felt so empty. it's been a whole year since patton had past and he was going through his old stuff when he stumbled across patton's diary, he read it and felt so bad, he didn't know the pain patton was going through, he hid it well, tears fell down his face as he thought of all the good times they had together, all the late night cuddles, all the cookies and baking lessons, everything and virgil missed it all, pattons smile, his laugh, the way he stumbled over his words when he was nervous. But he was gone and he couldn't bring him back, no matter how hard he tried.

He closed the book and put it back in the box, got up and went outside and curled up in patton’s sweater and fell asleep under the stars, thinking that patton was up there watching over him, like his own guardian angel.

But all he wanted was patton back

But The universe doesn't always give you what you want.

#patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides #thomas sanders #duke sanders #princey sanders #anxiety sanders #remus sanders #morality #anxitey #creativity #logic #moxiety

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captainimprobable · 5 years ago

Photo

This photo popped up on my Facebook memories and I nearly lost my gd mind. Everything under the cut is depressing so don’t click if you don’t wanna be bummed out

This is from Mother’s day, May 10th, 2015. At this point I had been breaking down every night for a month, taking Ativan like it was candy, because lower doses stopped working since I took them so often. I dropped out of college during finals week instead of just waiting for the semester to be over because I didn’t know if I could make it through another week. 3 days after this picture was taken, I checked myself into the hospital. It was a planned check in, preemptively done so it wouldn’t come to a place where it would be an emergency. I stayed for about a week, and when I got out I wasn’t cured or anything, but it had been the restart I needed to start working to get better. 2015 was the Year From Hell for my me and my family. (So far, it’s still beating 2020. Like. That many bad things happened in 2015.)

I spent most of my recovery alone, aside from my mother. I had friends, that I loved and who I knew loved me, but when someone is going through something difficult and you don’t know what to say, sometimes you just say nothing at all.�� Not to mention I kept all this very very quiet. On the outside I looked fine. I’ve been told by many, many therapists that I’m the only patient they’ve ever had who can fool them into thinking things are great even if I’m wildly depressed, and my friends weren’t trained, so. Nobody really knew. I’ve been working my ass off for five years. A year after this picture was taken, I graduated college. By the end of that year I got my first job. It took me a long long time to get to a place where I thought I could actually, maybe be a real person. I was finally planning to start my career, which was going to lead to me moving out. I was finally, FINALLY, after 7 years of trying and failing, going to travel to japan. And then Covid happened. And here I am, five years to the day later, feeling the same things I felt then, completely rewinded, like the past five years just haven’t happened. We’re back, babes!!!!!! We’ve returned to the Shit Zone, no feeling good allowed!!!! We’re back to having to take everything minute by minute, sleeping a lot and popping that Ativan again because I can’t stop crying. I’m fucked, my dudes. Every year I’m so proud of how much progress I’ve made since May 13th, 2015. But right now all I see is the same pattern, the skipping work, the spontaneous sobbing mixed with being Totally Okay Somehow for a few days, and I’m alone again, because quarantine means nobody knows when we’re all gonna see each other again. On top of that, i have nothing to look forward to since cons are cancelled. Cons were basically the only thing I had..which I guess is shitty and lame, but it gave me an outlet, it was a place where I could be super gay and not worry about where I am, I was surrounded by people like me and not here, in my religious town, where nobody is like me. (I am the Queen of the Drama Queens. Wow.) So all I see in front of me is the same thing, nothing, forever. But hey the smores frapp comes out in two weeks!!!! Thank god. I dont know what I would do without the smores frapp. (This is serious. Im not being sarcastic. That shit is GOOD) Posting this is incredibly embarrassing for me because I’m not usually this open when something is wrong, but this picture popped up at an exact moment I was freaking out about something and I just had to do something. So now, on top of everything, I’m severely embarrassed and I feel about three inches tall. Hi up there guys!!!! Things are great down here, I’ve managed to corral a spider and now I have a way of getting around without walking everywhere, so that’s rad. Sorry if you think less of me. Surpriiiiiise Ive been a loser all along!!! I’m used to being vented to but the other way around...doesnt.....make sense??? Like, this feels illegal. Was this too much information? I straight up Do Not Know. Anyway, thanks to the few people who know I’m losing my mind and have helped. Also I’m totally safe yall, that’s not something you need to worry about, I promise. idk wtf this post is for. actually. i might delete it like. soon. bc this feels Wrong and like Im crying for attention and i am a small helpless child. And Im not. But. Ill see. God this is bad if people see this they’re gonna think less of me but Im supposed to be this big advocate for mental illness on facebook, so I wanted to be honest, but I couldn’t get myself to post it on facebook so I’m putting it here and. Idk. Sorry.

#jaytp #HELLO HELLO REMINDER THAT I AM OK AND SAFE #i dont think anyone thought i was cool before this but well #if someone did this will kill that quickly #i am baby

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beans-shadow · 5 years ago

Text

looking for the truth (pt 13)

Fandom: Naruto

Relationship: Kakasaku

Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura

read on ao3: here

part one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen

After the battle finally dies down, Kakashi searches for Sakura in the wreckage. But she's nowhere to be seen, and Kakashi immediatly assumes the worst.

But he's not wrong.

---

The rhythmic beeping of the electrocardiogram soothed Kakashi’s worries about his friend. His vitals stabilized after the gates closed naturally, and the doctor assured him that Gai would be better after a month’s rest of being taken off active duty. A well-deserved leave, Kakashi thought, as he was certain the man had bested him in their bet. While Kakashi was slick, Gai was mighty, and took down hordes of ninja to Kakashi’s few.

In the previous two hours, Kakashi got swept up in chaotic activity. Apparently, Sakura had not slept for a week, working tirelessly on the antidotes in her labs. Once released on the free market, she’d set up in the center of town an enormous medical facility catering to both the wounded and infected. Her operation became a well-oiled machine by the time Kakashi arrived with Gai. Dozens of medic teams jogged about, delivering various goods. Shizune barked orders from the Lead Medic tent, and wails of sorrow filled Kakashi’s ears.

Feeling like a lost dog, Sakura rescued the scrambling man when she found him, quick to personally ushered him and his precious cargo to the ninja corner of the camp.

After setting Gai up on many machines, and injecting them both, she’d bowed and scurried away to her next patient.

Now, Gai slept peacefully in his bed, so Kakashi decided to let him be.

He knew she would be awfully busy administering cures, but Kakashi had to see her.

Refusing treatment from every nurse that came his way, Kakashi ran through a handful of medical tents before he found Shizune. She buzzed from bed to bed, checking charts, monitoring tests, and adjusting IVs.

“Shizune! Hey, Shizune!”

The woman turned at his second call, frantic. She touched his black eye, prompting a weak hiss from the man. “Kakashi! Are you okay? Have you gotten the vaccine yet?”

Kakashi waved his hand. “Yes, don’t worry, I got it when I brought Gai in. Have you seen Sakura?”

“Sakura?” Shizune stood on her tip toes, peering over the many heads that bustled every which way. “No, I haven’t seen her since…” she pursed her lips. “Since she ran out of here about thirty minutes ago, muttering about something.” She touched Kakashi’s arm. “If you see her, can you tell her how thankful we are? Without her, this whole village might have perished.”

“She left?”

Furrowing her brows, Shizune nodded. “Not sure exactly why. It’s odd. Maybe she just needed a break.” A shout came from across the camp. “I have to go!” Tapping him in dismissal, the woman scurried away.

Kakashi muttered agreement as she departed while his mind whirred. There was no chance Sakura would take a break. Just like him, she would work until she fell over from exhaustion. What would make her leave her post?

Terror threaded through Kakashi’s body.

There could only be one reason Sakura would ever leave her post.

No.

His surroundings faded, faces blurred. His destroyed home became far away in his mind and distance as he sprinted to the village’s gates, past the guards.

Even the charred and overturned battle field became meaningless to Kakashi as he leapt through the trees. All that mattered was Sakura.

Extending his hands outward, he summoned a jutsu he rarely utilized for several reasons. Firstly, it took too much charka. Secondly, it required the presence of a deep connection that Kakashi never dared test.

Now, he tried it.

“Lighting Release: Soul Sting Sensor Jutsu!” Tingles sparked at his fingertips, searching. His energy, merged with electrons, moved in synch with his own fundamental frequency, and dissipated far distances all around him. They would only stop if they found an object that hummed at complementing harmonics to his own. Of course, this could only occur if someone had found their soul mate, even if they did not feel the same way.

The electric current gathered more and more energy, until it shot up into his forearms.

The light had found her. Kakashi allowed himself to feel some hope.

Following the tug of his hands, he ran further away from the village. It seemed she’d headed the exact opposite direction, trying to get as much distance between her and anyone she cared about as possible.

The technique grew more and more aggressive as he drew closer, the pain becoming so intense Kakashi held his hands together to focus. The humming of harmonics hurt his ears, but he pushed through it as he rummaged through bushes, checked tree tops, and leaned into small rock caves.

Several minutes later, he found her, and the jutsu dissipated. By a far training ground most had forgotten about, she lay crumpled up against a tree, head in her hands, tearing at her hair in agony. She’d lost her doctor’s coat somewhere, and just clad in her classic red shirt and medic skirt. She held her body curled tightly in a ball, and the grass around her a distinctly browner than the lush green just a foot away.

“Sakura?” He called out to her.

She flinched, as if his voice caused her additional pain. She tucked her head closer into her chest.

“Kakashi, what are you doing here? Please leave!”

Kakashi drew closer, extending a hand. “Let’s go back, Sakura. I won’t let anything happen to you. You aren’t going to die out here. Come back to the village.”

Scurrying her feet wildly, she tried to push herself closer to her tree.

“There’s nothing I can do for myself! Please, just go.”

“Why? It’s okay. Sakura, just take my hand,” he gesticulated again. There was nothing to worry about. Kakashi had not contracted the illness, so he could not lash out at her. As for Sakura…

Kakashi said, “You made an antidote, remember? You won’t hurt anyone if you return. You’ll be able to see your family. Everyone wants to see you. Please, Sakura, let me help.”

Pink hair finally moved, and Sakura’s tearful eyes looked up at Kakashi. “No, it won’t work on me,” she breathed through a straining neck.

“What do you mean?”

She shook her head. “This stupid illness is savage. I’ve been exposed too many times, I’ve injected myself with antibiotics too many times…”

“You’re immune!” Kakashi exclaimed, jumping to conclusions. “Even better!”

“NO!” She shouted, frustrated and in pain. “My strain mutated. It’s much stronger than anything else. The drug won’t work on me!”

“What?” Kakashi breathed. He was not versed that profusely in medicine, forcing him to take an extra beat to absorb the implications of her statement.

That extra beat cost him.

“Ugh!” Sakura shouted out. Pain tore through her body, and she bashed herself against the tree trunk.

“Sakura!” Kakashi lunged towards her. But Sakura threw an arm in the air which connected squarely in his chest, flinging him far away.

“I need you to go! Let me die!” She roared, grabbing at her head. He could see her chakra going haywire, and her trying desperately to control it as a few pink hairs ripped from her skull.

“Why are you pushing me away? Let me help!” This was no time to be stubborn.

Grimacing, Sakura pushed her head up, knuckles white against her sides. Saline flowed freely from both of her eyes, as the obscured sign of takeover washed over her emerald irises. “Isn’t it obvious, Kakashi?”

And as her eyes faded away, Kakashi realized.

No. It couldn’t be.

“Sakura—” Kakashi stepped towards her, but she lay limp against the tree.

Then, with a lurch, she looked up at him.

There was no recognition, no joy, not even sadness.

Just a darkness. And a goal.

“Shinobi battle skills number one, Kakashi.”

Lesson number one?

“What?”

Why did the phrase spark familiarity?

With a grip that left indents in the tree trunk, Sakura hefted herself up from the ground.

“Taijutsu!”

In a flash, Sakura growled and rushed towards him, fists raised. Chakra hummed in the air, ready for a kill shot. Kakashi stared as the shinobi ran towards him, face serene even with murder in her hands. At the last second, Kakashi ducked out of the way, leaving a tree behind him to be decimated upon impact with Sakura’s fist.

“Don’t be such a slippery foe,” Sakura snided, her voice’s usual pleasant lilt gone. “Face me like a man. There’s no reason to be afraid. Cha!” She pounded the ground in fury, sending a rumble to the ground below Kakashi’s feet. The poor training ground erupted around him, and he quickly formed the signs for a shadow clone before fleeing to a nearby tree branch.

He watched his shadow clone yelp and fall into the earth, becoming wedged between a rock and a hard place. Head tilted down, Sakura smirked. Knees locked, she approached his clone slowly.

“That was easier than I thought it would be.” She raised his chin to look at her, but even if that were Kakashi down there, he knew he wouldn’t see the Sakura he had grown to care about in her eyes. Still, it brought tears to his eyes to witness the brutality of the disease.

His clone let out a choking sound as Sakura’s fingers closed around his trachea. “Too bad this isn’t you.” She squeezed, and the clone disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Pivoting, Sakura pinpointed Kakashi in the tree. “You can’t hide from me, old man.” With sinister silence, she hopped from tree to tree until she faced Kakashi, and with no transition started attacking him. They hadn’t gone one on one since the last bell test he’d put her and Naruto through, but she’d improved in speed and accuracy. Although never hitting him dead-on, she brushed his shoulder twice, managed to nick his thigh, and almost kicked his feet from under him. Kakashi just tried to dodge; he could not fathom fighting her back. But defense tired an already exhausted body, and the tactic was a difficult one to maintain in the complex environment of the tree tops.

“Ah!” Kakashi stepped on rotting tree, and his foot slipped forcing him to break focus from Sakura and catch himself. It was the only opening she needed, and with a blank smile she collided glove with jacket, right in the center of his chest. Kakashi went flying with the force of her punch, falling from the trees and hitting the ground hard. The wind had been punched out of him, and he writhed in pain with the attempt to simply inhale.

A pair of black boots appeared in his periphery.

“Sakura, please,” he barely wheezed out, coughing up blood. “This isn’t you. Fight it!” She was strong, stronger than anyone he knew. If anyone could snap out of this unfound fury, it was Haruno Sakura.

Continuing as if he had not even spoken, Sakura’s dark, deep voice rattled Kakashi’s ears. “Here’s your second lesson.”

In a squat, with amazing speed Sakura formed several hand signs Kakashi couldn’t follow without the Sharingan.

Genjutsu, Kakashi finished for her.

Even being mind-controlled, Sakura had a twisted sense of humor. Some of his fondest memories of Team Seven were dissolving in front of his eyes as she repeated his lines word for word and with surgical precision punched through his heart.

Waving a hand in the air, Sakura faded into a mist, leaving Kakashi alone laying on the hard rock of Konoha’s training ground. What was she planning?

Finally able to take deep breaths, Kakashi rose to all fours, looking around in fear. A scuttle to his right; he braced himself for impact.

Pakkun emerged from a brush, leaping over the grass to rush over by his side. “Bossman! Are you okay?”

“Pakkun,” Kakashi let out in alleviation. “It’s good to see you. You need to send word back to Tsunade.”

“But what about Bull?” Pakkun asked.

“Bull? What happened to him?” Kakashi couldn’t take another loss.

“Follow me, quickly.” Pakkun scurried away. Grimacing in pain, Kakashi stood to chase after his companion. The background faded away around him, becoming a mush of green and brown until he saw him: Bull, laying on his side on the ground, a deep gash in his leg.

“Bull!” Kakashi ran to him, sitting on his heels, hands hovering over his dog. “How did this happen?” He asked Pakkun.

Pakkun stepped forward, slowly. Rearing back his lips, the dog exposed his sharp teeth and let out a deep, vibrating growl. The sound started harmonizing around him, and when Kakashi looked to his left and right, he saw the rest of his ninken doing the same thing.

“Guys, what are you doing?” Kakashi asked, standing over Bull’s body. He recognized their stances; hackles raised, teeth barred. Kakashi was the prey, surrounded by the pack with no way out.

Pain shot up his leg, and Kakashi fell to one knee, casting a betrayed look at Bull who bit deep into his calf. The large dog almost completely ate his entire bottom limb, planting Kakashi to the ground leaving him subject to the whims of his dogs. Sweating through the pricks and daggers of pain, Kakashi asked Pakkun once more what had gotten into them.

But Pakkun seemed past talking. The usual spark of intelligence in his tired eyes was gone, leaving just an instinctual need to stalk an injured animal in the woods.

The pack simultaneously took a step forward. They were about to attack. “Pakkun, please!” Kakashi wailed. He couldn't take this. He’d lost Sakumo, Obito, Rin, Minato. He couldn’t lose Pakkun too, just as Sakura was slipping through his fingers.

Wait, Sakura!

Sakura, a master at genjutsu, was always quick to recognize when she was caught in spell. Obviously more quickly than Kakashi.

Just as his dogs pounced at him flashing their sharpened canines, Kakashi brought his hands together and closed his eyes. “Release!”

A brush of air, and Kakashi opened his eyes. His dogs were gone, but the pain lingered on his right leg. Her genjutsu was so powerful, it transcended even differentiation from reality.

From behind a tree, Kakashi saw the whisper of pink hair against the stark silhouette of Sakura’s profile.

Reaching out to her, he yelled, “Enough, Sakura! You’ve got to snap out of it. I know you can.” He stepped forward, but limped as his leg revolted against any kind of movement.

In a swift motion, Sakura leapt from her hiding place, tossing shuriken at Kakashi. Reactions impaired, Kakashi only just managed to avoid her attack. Regaining his poor footing, Kakashi looked up, only to see two kunai shoot at him, planting squarely in their targets. One to his right shoulder, directly in a pressure point, the other in his side.

“Arg!” Kakashi heckled over, clutching at his stomach with his left arm. She hit right in a point that almost rendered his entire right side useless. Assured of her safety, Sakura walked slowly to him, tugging on an end of her glove. He felt the chakra build up inside her, focusing in her fist as she readied her final blow.

“Enough of this!” Letting out a yell of frustration, Kakashi threw up quick signs. “Ninja art: Earth Release: Earth Shock!” He hit the ground, sending waves through the earth. In the first sign of emotion, Sakura’s face turned into one of surprise as she was tossed backwards several feet with the force of Kakashi’s chakra infusion with the earth. She landed hard on her rear across the clearing, staying down after several seconds. Kakashi saw his opening.

With knives still protruding from his body, Kakashi took a step towards Sakura. “It’s okay, Sakura. I’m here. Come back to me. Please.” Pressure formed behind his eyes; of course she would be making the Copy Ninja cry once again. “Please,” he repeated. “I need you.”

He saw her legs trembling, the effects of the bacteria manifesting physically. But when Sakura looked up this time, Kakashi’s breath stuck in his throat. She looked terrified, stranded, and destroyed. His Sakura was back, and she needed him. She was trying, she was hearing him.

Reaching out his good arm, Kakashi beckoned for her. “Let’s go back to Konoha, together. Our village needs our best healer. I need my hero.”

Sakura reached back out to him, arm joining her other limbs in similar tremors. They were so close. If he could touch her, bring her back…

And Kakashi’s heart broke.

A quake overtook Sakura who let out an agonizing wail. Her back arched as if a jolt of electricity circulated her body before she relaxed, slumping over her legs.

“Sakura?” Kakashi inquired, retreating.

Her eyes were hidden in shadow and Kakashi swore that the hair that covered her face had dulled.

She twisted her neck to gaze at Kakashi with eyes devoid of any emotion. When she spoke, it was robotic and empty. “Ninja lesson number three. Ninjutsu.”

A glow surrounded Sakura, emanating from every pore in her body. Her Yin seal flashed, and her typically green chakra turned that exuded all over her body turned into a muddled brown as lines marked her beautiful face. Kakashi had never seen anything like it.

As if her limbs did not function properly, Sakura jerkily stood up, her neck lurching from side to side with her movements. She raised one hand in the air, palm to the sky, fingers pointed up as if she was carrying an invisible orb.

And then the chakra floating around her focused its energy to her hand—it grew even more concentrated as it gathered on her fingertips.

“Sakura?” Kakashi tip toed closer. Maybe he could get to her. He hadn’t lost her yet. This meant nothing... She was still in there. She had to be.

But Sakura gave no indication of hearing his call. The chakra continued focusing itself, extending from her fingertips. With a flash of light, it condensed into thin strands, seemingly delicate enough for tactful surgery.

Oh.

Her jutsu.

Flicking her fingers in the air, the trails of chakra sliced and cut through the space with whispers and promises of excruciating pain. Kakashi could only imagine the amount of accuracy that was necessary to master such a jutsu. But this was Sakura; she was known for her amazing chakra control after all.

“Ninja Art: Surgical Jutsu!”

With an animalistic growl, she clawed at him. Dodging an extra seven inches of weapon forced Kakashi to recalculate dodges and defense mechanisms, and he felt the close brushes of death. She touched his sleeve, and it sliced through the material like butter.

“Now,” he heard her whisper.

“What?” He felt a slither by his shoulder. Turning his neck, he saw a small slug crawl up his back, and with a small cry bit into his neck.

“Ew!” He tried to pull the animal off, but remained stuck to him.

His face cooled, and his stomach dropped. A dizzy spell over took him, and then he felt his chakra drain.

Sakura’s body seal flashed with greed, her eyes turning a muddled brown.

Face contorted in horror, Kakashi realized Sakura was using her summon to drain his chakra, a reverse jutsu from her extending her chakra to heal.

Every coin has two sides, he thought. As life has death, healing has destruction.

Lacking energy, Kakashi became helpless as Sakura glided over to his side. Unceremoniously, she thrusted a handful of her jutsu through his stomach. He felt the needles pierce through his skin, organs, bone, and out his back. The sucking sound of flesh cut through the air as she removed her hand, only to pierce him through the side into his kidney. Excruciating pain shot through his side. He felt as though his organs were disintegrating from inside, their molecular structure destabilized.

Yet again, she removed her destructive limb, and walked away without a care. She flexed her arm, and the threads of chakra grew longer. Her stance exuded power, and while Kakashi’s only felt defeated.

“I won’t fight you, Sakura,” Kakashi said as she sauntered over to him. Feeling his body give out, Kakashi collapsed to the ground, finding asylum in a large boulder to lay on. “I refuse to hurt you. I won’t hurt someone I care about, not again.” He bowed his head to her, eyes closed. “Never again.”

Energy reverberated above him, and Kakashi knew this was it. So be it. This was Rin all over again. To save himself, he needed to kill he person the felt closest with. Rin hadn't given Kakashi a choice in the final result. This time, he did. And he would rather die than live with another murder on his hands. He wouldn’t do it.

Shhhllish!

Slicing wind blew past his face, and the grass uselessly cried as it became the victim of Sakura’s blow.

Gazing up, tears in his eyes, Kakashi looked at Sakura.

Her body heaved with every breath, and her hair stuck to her forehead due to sweat.

But her eyes.

They were green again.

“Sakura?” He pushed himself from his rock, blood seeping out from his side. “Is that really you?”

Her eyes flashed from her hand, stuck in the ground, to Kakashi. They were desperate, scared, longing.

Then they rolled to the back of her head, and she crumbled to the ground.

“No! Sakura!” He scrambled to her side, holding just as he’d held Gai earlier that day. He brushed her hair from her face. “You did it. You fought it. Please, come back to me.”

Unlike Gai, she didn’t respond to Kakashi. Her breathing shallowed. Her soft skin paled.

Her seal flashed over her body, and the dark lines retreated to her forehead.

Then she lay still.

“No!” Kakashi wailed. Cradling her body to his, he swayed in the air. “No, no!”

This couldn’t be it.

No.

Not when she’d felt the same.

His world broke again. How many times now, did this make it? Where he would be the survivor, torn apart by heartbreak?

“No!” He cried again, into the vacuum of nature. No one was around to hear him. No one was there to comfort him. No one was there to save him.

As he clutched her close, he remembered a distant memory. A long time ago, when he still had Obito’s eye.

“You’re not the one dying, not today, not this time,” he muttered, laying her on the ground elegantly.

Positioning his hands over her torso, he yelled, summoning the last of his chakra reserve.

“Ninja Art: One’s Own Life Reincarnation!”

The blast of his energy moved his hair from his face as he concentrated. Now, more than ever before, he was grateful for using his Sharingan on Chiyo when she’d healed Gaara.

Gai had called it stupid, using the last of his energy on memorizing the technique, storing it for later. He’d claimed he’d never need it, that the situation would never call for him exchanging his own life for someone else like this. Gai, ever the optimist, thought Kakashi’s second chance at not repeating what happened to Obito, Rin, and Minto, would never arise.

Or maybe he was simply optimistic about Kakashi’s future.

“Arg!” The drain of the reanimation technique hit Kakashi full force. Sakura, dead, would require the exchange of life for her return. The jutsu stopped at a blockade, checking if the user was willing to make the sacrifice.

Kakashi would gladly give that up.

“Whatever it takes!” He yelled, pushing through the barrier, Kakashi barreled down the path of death. And suddenly, he the felt energy flow with the ease of a tranquil river. The chakra moved freely into Sakura, but instead of pain, Kakashi became blissful. A haze grew around him, as if Shizune had stuck him on strong pain killers.

A few more seconds later, he heard Sakura give a sharp intake of breath.

He fell to the side.

Darkness grew around him as his senses dimmed. This was it.

“Ka---shi… --k--i!”

There was a distant voice Kakashi barely registered as Sakura’s. But it was her. He knew it. He’d done it. He could die happily.

“Strength----f---100 S---ls!”

Up, up, and up. Kakashi felt his body soar.

This was it: his salvation. His reward for years of torture, being left alone. He’d protected Konoha faithfully, dutifully. Now, he was done. Now, he could rest.

His father whispered in his ear, welcoming. Rin’s arms were open, welcoming. Even Obito, arms crossed, offered him a genuine smile.

Slam!

His body hit the earth, hard. Kakashi let out a groan, sensation returning to his body.

“Kakashi?”

Eyes barely open, he saw the outline of someone hovering over her head. Light. It was light.

“Kakashi?”

Opening slightly more, he saw Sakura. No. No. Had he in actuality failed? Why was she here, welcoming him on the other side?

Eyes fully open, he saw the sun setting in the distance, the trees swaying in the breeze. Sakura’s Yin seal flash over her precious features, retreating from her limbs, her chakra spent.

“Sakura?” He whispered. “How?”

“Oh, Kakashi!” He tenderly graced his cheek, then fell, lying next to him.

She took his hand in her own, and closed her eyes.

Darkness enveloped his vision.

. . . . . . .

I found them! They’re over here!

. . . . . . . . . . . .

They’ve both exhausted their chakra reserves to the extreme, those idiots!

Quick, get me transplants stat! Call Naruto, we’ll need his supply.

. . . .

I think that did it.

Should I get them separate rooms?

No. I think they’ll want to wake up together.

. . . .

----

Beep… Beep... Beep... Beep…

The sound of the machine clashed with the pacing of shoes in the room. Whoever it was, they were impatient, and Kakashi would have none of it.

“Would you please stop that?” He muttered, eyes shut. His head pounded like a menace, and he couldn’t bring himself to open them, wherever he was.

“What?”

“I said, please stop that incessant stomping,” He repeated, voice weak.

Wait, where was he?

Subjecting himself to the intense brightness, Kakashi opened his eyes. White blinded his vision for a moment before the familiar room greeted him. Ah. The hospital.

His eyes drifted down, stopping on the figure at the foot of his bed. It was Sakura, dressed unceremoniously in civilian clothes. She looked at fine as day, hands woven together by her mouth, until tears erupted from her eyes.

“Kakashi!” She rushed to his bedside, wrapping him in a hug.

He expected pain, but only the warm sensation of her body against his flew through his body.

“I, I don’t understand,” he said, unable to return her hug.

Sakaura nodded, standing up. “Oh. Right of course. You have questions?”

He stared at her. “You. You died.”

Sakura titled her head. “Well, not quite.”

“And then I reanimated you.”

“Again, only semi-correct.”

“How am I here? Is this heaven?”

Sakura laughed, caressing Kakashi’s hair. “No. No. This is Konoha. Our home.”

“Then… how?”

Pulling up a stood, Sakura sat down. “You remember reanimating me? Using Chiyo’s technique?”

“Yes,” Kakashi answered, agitated. “I just said that. Chiyo died after she used that justu on Gaara. Why didn’t I die? It’s a life for a life, everyone knows that.”

Gently, Sakura smiled and took Kakashi’s hand in her own. “I hadn’t died quite yet; I was only on the verge of death. So…” she gestured.

Kakashi stared. “So… I also brushed death’s edge, instead of dying,” he finished.

Sakura nodded. “Exactly. And after you revived me, I used my Creation Rebirth Strength of 100 Technique to bring you back,” she tapped her forehead for emphasis.

Feeling dumb, Kakashi stared. “Why did you do that, Sakura?” He questioned. “You wasted so much chakra that you spent years building up.” The technique was famous, and everyone knew that you only had one lifetime to reserve that chakra. There was no going back.

Sakura smiled, the question not bothering her at all. She squeezed Kakahsi’s hand. “It wasn’t a waste, Kakashi. You can never waste your life… on someone you love.”

For the third time, Kakashi stared. She what?

In answer to his unspoken question, Sakura leaned forward slightly hesitant but nonetheless confident, and pressed her mouth against his mask. It took a moment for Kakashi to register, but then his mouth remembered, and his body ignited. Sitting up, he shifted his arm to wrap around Sakura. She fit perfectly in his arms, and the final barrier screamed to be let down. One last protection of Kakashi’s; the protection that mystified his figure, and secured the comforting distance he claimed between him and anyone else.

For Sakura, he did not want that anymore. She’d already dug up and torn into the tomb of his past he’d previously considered tightly shut. She’d ignited emotions he figured a man like him would never be allowed to feel again. He’d bled, laughed, confessed, and cried in front of her.

A lifetime of worry, disappointment, and fear all fell away; there was only Sakura.

The sentiment’s reciprocation held up as Kakashi made his slow movements to certainly—decisively—slide his mask down his face, and the kuniochi’s startling eyes, full of intense emotion from her declaration, never strayed from his glassy grays.

The frigid hospital air graced his lips, and Sakura’s eyes defeated her immense willpower and drifted down. Pupils dilated, her breath quickened. And Kakashi was undone; waiting was no longer an option, he needed her, needed to feel her completely, needed to relent to her power.

The arm that used to secure the small of her back floated up, the bliss of the moment overtaking his own limbs, finding assurance at the softness of her jawline. He traced her cheek, finishing the intimate gesture by gently holding the back of her head, tangling that beautiful, silken hair in his fingers. She tilted her head up, expectant, and Kakashi grew eager to meet her halfway. Leaning down, he kissed her, fully.

The last kiss became just a distant memory as the sanctity of this moment trumped all others. The feeling, the taste… it sparked familiarity, yet newness as well. Everyone told him finding the one, if it ever happened, would feel like coming home. Kakashi, young and arrogant, and admittedly mostly cynical, brushed off every claim, knowing that finding such a person just simply could never appear in the cards for him, be that present or future.

Oh, how he’d be wrong. But so had they. This was not coming home. This was potential: the potential to build a new life, with a partner.

His hands trailed back down her sides, stopping at her hips. Deepening the kiss, he held her as close as he could in their awkward position, trying to emote every feeling he experienced through his movements.

That couldn’t be enough, he figured, as Sakura spoke a different love language than he did. While actions demonstrated all he needed to know, he understood Sakura was a woman of words and communicated affirmation. He would gladly provide that for her.

“If you didn’t know,” he whispered against her lips, “I love you, too.”

He opened his mouth, and she answered in kind, her mouth feeling like heaven against his lips. Greedy, he lifted her from her seat and onto his bed. Sakura, ever graceful, swung her leg over his bed, now straddling his decrepit body. Holding his face in her hands, she moved against him. Kakashi met her half way, pulling her closer. He would never be able to get her close enough.

A dull pounding hit his body. He attempted to ignore it, as the woman on top of him made his mind dizzy, and her movements lead him to insanity. Unfortunately, he had to eventually relent.

Pulling away, the man grimaced. “Oof,” Kakashi groaned, holding his side. “Why am I sore?”

Laughing lightly, Sakura slid to his left, molding her body to his in the grungy hospital bed. “Well, you did just almost die.”

“I almost die all the time,” Kakashi argued. Missing the warmth on top his body, he tugged her closer. “But this time, you healed me. With the 100 Seals!” He added.

“I repeat, you almost died. That would leave anyone feeling sore.”

“Then why aren’t you?” He poked her in the side, eliciting the targeted giggle that made his heart grow.

“You know that One’s Own Life Reanimation is unique.” She smirked, batting his hand away. “I could go into the specific science for you, but I’m afraid you would not be able to understand the complex biochemistry.” Her voice then voice dropped, barely a whisper. “I’ve seen a lot of death in my career, Kakashi. And so have you. But you were closer than I’ve ever seen. I felt the tug you almost succumbed to. I thought I lost you.”

Kakashi hugged her, and kissed the top of her head.

“Imagine what I went through,” he whispered back. Then it hit him. Her reaction in the forest, her reluctance to from before… it all made sense now. “You… you knew.”

Sakura nudged her face into his shoulder. “Knew what?”

Her aroma distracted him, but he stayed on task. “That you would contract the disease, given your proximity. That’s why you dodged my advances before.”

He felt her breathe into the nape of his neck. It sent shivers down his spine. “Yes.”

“You did it to save me.” He snorted. "Glad to see that worked out as planned."

She sat up slightly, defiant. “Well, I didn’t think you would be stupid enough to chase after me!”

Kakashi smiled, pacifying his feisty ninja. “I’m glad I did.”

Sinking back to his side, Sakura smiled back. With her one free hand, she played with is open face, memorizing his lips, his freckle, his rare smile. “I’m glad you did as well.”

They lay there, in silence, finding refuge in the safe silence they finally had.

When Sakura eyes closed, and he thought she’d drifted off to sleep, Kakashi spoke to her.

“I don’t have the softest touch, and I may not look like much... I may not always use the right words, and I know my edges are rough. I will never be enough. But I’m yours, Sakura. And I always will be.”

Her eyes fluttered open.

“You’ll always be enough for me, my Kakashi. Just as you are mine, I am yours.”

---

Maybe it was the best war he’d ever experienced in his career, given what he’d gained. He typically lost so much through war, but not this time. Kakashi would have to ponder that. But he thought he wouldn’t need much convincing, now that he had Sakura at his side.

#kakashi #kakasaku #looking for the truth #naruto #naruto fanfic #all done!!!#yay!#my writing #sakura haruno #sakura

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bedbellyandbeyond · 6 years ago

Photo

Sickness

(Story Post)

A morning came one day where Nathan just couldn’t get out of bed. He called his doctor hoping he’d come for a house call and thankfully Reid had a little bit of time. When he arrived at Nathan’s home, he let himself in with the key Nathan had told him was under his flower pot. He headed upstairs to find his favourite wolf-man curled up in a cocoon again. “Oh dear, what’s the matter today?” Reid asked. “You can’t get out of bed?” Nathan rolled over to face him and frowned. “They’re moving…”

Reid blinked, his eyes lighting up. “Really? Well, that’s a very good sign, Nathan.” “I hate it… They’re making me nauseous,” Nathan said. “I don’t know what to do… I think I’ll puke if I get up…” Reid sighed sympathetically. “Unfortunately, getting up is the most common cure. When you lie down, babies love to go nuts in there, but when you stand, they typically calm down.” “If I stand, I’ll puke.” “You probably won’t but I can get you a trash can or something,” Reid said. “Is there one in your bathroom?” “Should be…” Reid went and got the bin and brought it back. “Take this and get yourself up. Come on.” Nathan wrapped the blankets around himself and tucked it so it wouldn’t come off then took the trash can in one hand and let Reid pull him up with his other hand. When he was upright, he did still feel queasy, but the twins settled down after a few seconds alongside the nausea. “I’m not gonna puke,” Nathan said. “Aye. So is that all I drove out here for?” Reid asked. “Well… No…” Nathan said, looking down. “There’s something else…” “And what’s that, laddie?” Reid asked, patting Nathan’s arm. “I… Um, it’s really embarrassing…” Nathan said. “I guess, it’s uh… Ah, fuck it…” He undid the blanket, displaying the two big wet marks in his pyjama shirt. Reid put his hands on his hips. “Well, well. Your milks come in.” “But why?” Nathan asked. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re pregnant.” “But I don’t have tits!” Nathan said. “You don’t need prominent breasts to start lactating, just the right plumbing which everyone has—unless removed—and the right hormone cocktail,” Reid explained. “This was to be expected.” “Then why didn’t you tell me this would happen?” “I forgot but also I expected you to consider it before,” Reid said. “But it’s nothing to fret about. Let me take a look.” Nathan sighed and took off his shirt. He looked away as the doctor examined his chest. “They’ve definitely swollen up,” Reid said. “Are they tender?” “Yeah, really sensitive…” Nathan pouted. “Shirts feel uncomfortable rubbing against them. And I don’t know what to do with all the…all the leakage.” “Say no more. You want nursing pads,” Reid said. “There’s different kinds, but overnight ones and braless ones will likely be best.” Nathan rubbed his eye. “I’ve been to baby stores too much now… I really don’t want to go out like this.” “Laddie. Order them online,” Reid said. “It’s early morning. You could potentially have it all delivered by the end of the day. Also, get yourself a big sports bra. That’ll help a lot.” “A bra? I can’t wear a bra!” Nathan complained. “Yes you can. I believe in you. You’re not the only man who’s ever had to wear a bra. I can guarantee that.” “Oh god, how am I supposed to do all this? It’s so embarrassing and I have to do it alone,” Nathan groaned. Reid rubbed his back. “Tell me what’s on your mind. What’s troubling you most about this?” Nathan sighed deeply and sat down. “I just… Everything I expected when it came to me having kids is thrown out the window…” “What were you expecting?” Reid sat down beside him. “Well, first I thought I’d be adopting… And I thought I’d have job security. And I thought I’d be…well, married. At least, I’d have a partner helping me… Signing the papers with me. Decorating the nursery with me. Picking out clothes. But I’ve done everything alone. And I’m pregnant.” Reid rubbed his chin. “Well, have you thought about dating?” Nathan frowned. “Dating? Seriously? Like this?” He motioned to his torso. “You’d be surprised by the people who could be into that,” Reid insisted. Nathan crinkled his nose. “I don’t want to be someone’s fetish. I want someone who wants the normal me. The not fat and leaking me.” He looked down. “God, if I hadn’t…become what I am now… I’d still be with Hugh. I’d still work at my old school. We were even starting to talk about kids… I ruined everything.” “Well, I’m sorry, but I’ve heard your transformation story many times and it has always sounded like it was Hugh’s fault you were bit in the first place,” Reid said. “He took you off the path. He found the wolf cub. He chose to leave you when you needed him most.” “I tore his leg off!” Nathan growled. “I’d leave any man who tore my leg off too!” “He wouldn’t have had his leg torn off if he didn’t get you bit,” Reid stated. “You understand?” Nathan crossed his arms. “Are you pinning this on Hugh to try and make me feel better? Because it’s not working.” He gagged a little as he felt a movement in his stomach again so he stood up. “God, I want this to end…” “It’ll be over soon,” Reid said. “Rest for today.” “I can't…” Nathan rubbed his eyes. “I’ve missed work way too much… The principal acts nice about it, but I can tell she wants to kill me.” “She doesn’t want to kill you. But you need the rest. I might even say we should start you on bed rest but you’re determined to work.” “I don’t know if you noticed, but children are expensive,” Nathan said. “I can barely afford my own living situation right now. I need to work.” Reid sighed. “After the next wolf cycle, I’m putting you on bed rest. You need it and the twins need it. I can tell just by looking at you, you’re beyond exhausted.” “…Fine. That gives me three weeks,” Nathan huffed. “But that’s still so soon…” “Just keep thinking about how you’ll get to meet your little angels.” Reid placed a hand on the side of Nathan’s stomach. “I think you’ll find it’s all worth it.” Nathan exhaled deeply for a couple seconds then placed his hands on his stomach. In this sitting position, the twins had started acting up again and he could feel them moving. His stomach turned as he felt it, but he just thought about how it was his children and that every little move meant they were alive. While he still felt a little sick from the movement, it warmed his heart a little bit knowing they were safe. “…Doc.” Reid perked up. “Aye?” “I should tell my parents, right?” Reid blinked stared at Nathan. “You haven’t told your parents yet that they’re going to be grandparents?” Nathan shook his head. “…I haven’t talked to them since… Well, since my grandma’s funeral.” “Ah. Fuzzy connection?” Nathan nodded. “Very fuzzy… I came out when I was fifteen and they sent me away to live with my grandma. They thought her ‘traditional ways’ would ‘fix’ me. That backfired pretty quick. My nana was nothing but loving.” He rubbed his belly. “I wish she was here to meet her great grandkids… But I guess, that’s not common anyway…” “Mm… Aye, I wish you coulda been so lucky,” Reid sympathised. “And it’s up to you whether you believe your parents should know and be a part of this journey with you. The last thing you need though is more stress.” “Right…” Nathan sighed and stood back up to relieve the movement. “Can you let Principal Liu know I won’t be coming in today?” “I’ll do that.” Reid checked his watch. “I got to go though. I have an appointment with another patient.” “Alright, go ahead… I’m good I guess,” Nathan decided. “Thanks for coming all the way out here, doc. I guess my issue was pretty dumb…” Reid shook his head. “No, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Do you have any friends or family who can come around and check up on you?” “Um… The only person I can think of would maybe be Nari… But he’d be working, so…” “It might be worth talking to him because it’s always better to have people around if not just for emotional support.” “I guess… But Nari's… Nari can be a little…” “Stubborn and abrasive?” Reid asked. “Yeah, he’s like that. But he means well and I’m sure if he’s paid any attention to you, it means he likes you.” “I mean, I guess… He made us official friends the other day when we, uh…” Nathan scratched the back of his head. “Well, he came over to help with my laundry. Started calling me by my first name.” “Well, then you’re best buds it seems,” Reid chuckled. “Good, it’s important he makes friends too… He avoids it. You know you’re true friends when he carries you over.” “Over what?” Nathan asked. “Over lives. You must’ve heard him talk about his lives,” Reid explained. “Nari creates a new persona every couple decades to avoid people catching on to his immortality. Each new persona is usually accompanied with a big move. His first new persona moved to the UK. Then when she was done, Nari was created and he moved to Canada. What I’d like to see is either an extension in one of his personas, or at least the effort to bring over some people in his life and not just cut everyone off.” “Oh. That seems…” Nathan rubbed his chin. “Dramatic maybe?” “Yes, but you can understand. I only hope to be brought over too… I feel like he should at least consider what APID has to offer him or whoever he’ll be in the long term.” Reid checked his watch again and clenched his teeth. “Christ, I really gotta go, Nathan. But I’ll call in the afternoon, make sure you’re well.” Nathan nodded and pulled a robe on. “…Nursing pads, right?” “Aye. I’ll send you a link to some good ones from the web.” Reid went out to the stairs. “Okay… Bye then.” “Eat something. Bye now.”

#lore #mpreg #Nathan #Reid #werewolf

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