#you might find a childhood fear of mine in there somehow

[bellarkeselection]

I was woundering if could do a tyrion lannister short were there just newly wed and y/n bother is makeing a Speech about how his y/n is a trader to the family for agreeing to marry Tyrion

Could you also use this gif

Traitor to the Stark’s

Staring at myself in the mirror I brushed my hands over my dress I was so nervous. I was even more nervous than I was the day of my arranged marriage a few months ago. The chamber door opened and my husband Tyrion came in seeing that I hadn’t moved when he came to check on me once he was ready. “Y/n, my darling wife is everything okay?”

“I’m more nervous than I ever been in my whole life. Tyrion, I know I shouldn’t be since we are back in my childhood home. But…everything feels different now.” Running my hands through my straight hair I sighed heavily.

Tyrion moved away from the door taking my hands in his meeting my gaze when I was looking down at him. “You have absolutely nothing to fear dear wife. For it is I who should be more worried than you. Since this is the first time I shall be presented as your husband.”

“Tyrion, you have only ever been so kind and gentle to me. If my parents can’t see past the Lannister name then they are fools. I’ll be there for you.” Squeezing his hand in mine he let me lead him through the hallway since I knew the castle better than he did even though I hadn’t been there in a few months. We entered the great hall seeing my mother and father Lord and Lady Stark waiting with my twin brother Robb watching to,learn the duties if a Lord one day.

My father got to his feet bowing to greet us both with a smile on his face seeing me again. “Lord Tyrion, Lady Y/n, it’s so good to have you in our home as honorable guests.”

“As you it is you father - uh I mean Lord Stark.” I corrected myself blushing at the mistake I had made calling him something other than the Lord of Winterfell.

Tyrion nodded towards my mother even though she wasn’t quite as warmed up to him after what happened to Bran. “It is a pleasure to see you again, Lady Stark. I know my darling wife has missed you both dearly.”

“I’m shocked she even remembers who we are. Considering she’s been transformed into a Lannister in the short mouths away from her former family. You can’t even recognize that she used to be a Stark with the way she dresses and she doesn’t even carry her dagger on her hip like she used to. I’d say she’s a traitor to the Stark name!” My twin brother got his feet snapping sharply at me.

Sucking in a breath I felt some tears falling down my face at his words thinking that he might be right. “Robb, I…I’m still your sister.”

“You may share my blood but you’re not even acting like your old self. You weren’t always proper and here you are in a dress rather than trousers and a tunic. I know my sister and you’re not acting like her right now!” He raised his voice stepping in from of me growling through his teeth.

Our mother finally came forward yanking him away for our father to talk alone with him. “Robb that’s quite enough. I’m so sorry Lord Tyrion. We will continue this visit later.” She walked out of the room to find my father and brother leaving us alone where it was just me and Tyrion.

“Y/n, Y/n, look at me. Please look at me.” Tyrion pulled me from my trance of tears and just watching the door that had already shut in my face. Seeing that I was crying through some tears and clutching my hands into fists at my side.

Shaking my head I cleared my throat yanking my head down to stare at him in those soft green eyes. “Yes Tyrion, what were you saying?”

“I said it’s not your fault that you’re brother looks at you differently. You were forced into a marriage with me but I thought I was doing a good job and letting you remain to be the girl I met that day I said our vows to the gods.” He dropped his gaze to the floor with a weak smile feeling like he had failed somehow.

Dropping to my knees so I could be eye level with him I didn’t care what happened to the now stained red Lannister dress. “Tyrion, don’t think for a moment that you have been a bad husband to me. I have heard the horror stories of girls my age marrying brutal men who are rough, who are old men like Walter Frey or who only spend time with their wives to put a heir in their belly. But you are none of these things.” Placing my hands on his shoulders he finally looks me in the eye.

“Thank you, Y/n my dear wolf. Even if your brother won’t see it. You will always be a Stark first and foremost before you were a Lannister.” Tyrion sent me a smile resting his hands on my face leaning down giving me a gentle kiss.

Kissing him back I squeezed his shoulders smiling into our soft kiss. “You will always be the best husband that I could have asked for, Tyrion.” We would be there for each other even if our families weren’t friends.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[revasserium]

a rumination on falling in love; aka the terrifying and strange reality of "dream girl" becoming "real girl"

or, what happens when an only child who has only ever loved in fiction falls in love in real life instead

this is not for you. unless, of course. you, like me, have felt like this before. which is to say, this might be for you. but it most definitely is, 100%, for me. so read on if you'd like. or, close out and move right along.

i am very lucky, i think, to have had the childhood that i had -- only child, two loving parents. but not only that, two loving parents who were good at loving and also good at parenting (which are two very distinct and different things and somehow, at least in my semi-limited exposure to people around my age, is becoming rarer and rarer these days). i am lucky to have been allowed to grow as i have -- to never question that i am loved, unconditionally and endlessly, to never question whether or not i have something -- because of course it's mine -- i've got no siblings to have to share anything with.

now, to some, that might be a sad, lonely thing, but i never thought about it that way. because i was never taught to think about it that way. and contrary to popular belief, it hasn't made me (or at least so i think) stingy or "bad at sharing" -- it's actually made me rather an over-sharer. i always have snacks at the office, i try to offer advice freely, i spot dinners/outings when i can, i like the joy it brings to share things not only to the people being shared with, but also to me -- the person doing the sharing.

but the double-edged sword of only-child-dom in upper-middle class america is time -- the huge, gaping excess of it, giant swaths of it after school, great big chunks of it on the weekends, the seemingly unbridgeable chasm between turning off the light and falling asleep. later, i'd learn that undiagnosed adhd and very high performing manic depression are to blame for most of my vibrating sense of need to fill every hour of every day with some kind of productivity (this, unironically, is why i love new york city -- the frenetic energy of it matches my mental wavelength so that i can feel "productive" even when i'm just walking down the street or sitting in a bar).

but back then, i -- and by extension my lovely parents -- tried to fill it with stuff -- 2 different art classes, ballet, swimming, piano, debate club, singing, chinese school, and of course, with my still yet unfilled hours -- reading and writing. to say i was raised by the books i read would be an understatement. to say i am nothing more than a massive conglomerate of those characters that resonated most with me in those books would be parenthetical to the fact that i'm also built by all those characters i've ever admired or wanted to be. i am, in the most cliche, literal, non-lampshaded sense "that nerdy book girl" who made it her entire fucking personality to be... that nerdy book girl. and this, amidst the stratospheric rise of "not like other girls" media and rhetoric -- it was not healthy (it still isn't), but it was a large part of who i was. and a lingering part of who i am today.

my overactive, adhd-driven imagination served me well, then. into the stories i delved, and what i couldn't find in my normal every day life, i found in narrative. long before the tiktok-ification of "book boyfriends" came the voices in my head that sounded like all the would-be book boyfriends i'd ever have -- everyone from edward cullen to kakashi to four (that one guy from divergent who only has like 4 fears, which in retrospect is so, so cringe, but alas) to fictionalized versions of one direction members. the list goes on. i used to be able to hold entire conversations, play out entire scenes with these mental constructs with impudent ease. spend hours in my room by myself just imagining.

it was like astral projection -- my body, here, my mind and my soul, somewhere else entirely. and this i believe (to this day) is the core of a lot of my writing and creativity. and also the core of a lot of my philosophies and beliefs. the ability to sink into a dream, a scene, a story.

and then. i fell in love.

and sure, it would be much too cliche to say that misery breeds good art so a happy artist would (at best) produce mediocre art/writing/whatever. because i've also seen fantastic art produced by very, very happy artists. the sad truth is only that it's much rarer than the alternative of the painfully mainstream tortured artist.

but to some degree, i think there's an inkling of truth in that saying. because having a real-life boyfriend, with all the real-life machinations and strings of having said real-life boyfriend has made it, somehow, much harder to access that old imaginary part of me. like a child growing up and losing the ability to "make believe" the way they used to. except, i know it's still there. there are still moments where i touch it, where i dip my toes in and it always feels like coming home.

and it's more than just the normal adult-ish responsibilities of going to work and paying bills, making dinner and shopping for groceries. doing laundry and investing in your roth ira. because before real-life boyfriend, i still did those things and i was still able to seamlessly get to that "elsewhere place". somehow, it is the physical presence of real-life boyfriend that seems to act as a "grounding agent". he is home, so i can't go to that other place. or, i can kind of get there, but i've always still got one foot steeped in reality.

it is not a necessarily good or bad thing, just an observation at most. but it does create this new "space" for the "want" of that elsewhere. for the want to being able to slip into that creative asphodel like i used to -- blink and i'm there. so i find myself often sitting at my desk, wishing, and then wondering what it means that i can't. that it isn't always and immediately accessible to me anymore.

perhaps absolute solitude was the unquestioned prerequisite for so long that i'd never noticed it until the solitude was no longer available to me. or perhaps the book-boyfriends are just shy creatures, afraid of the blaring daylight that real-life boyfriend might shed on their ultimate two-dimensional beings.

or perhaps that was always a "safe space" that i'd created for myself, and now real-life boyfriend has created a safe space for me too, and the venne-diagram of the two space spaces overlap just so, making a less singular space of each of them in turn. i don't know, but it's an interesting thought.

it's always struck me, now thinking back, that i've never been even remotely interested in having a real-life relationship before now. but that i've also never questioned if i wanted the current one that i'm in, if this was "the one" or if it was "good for me". and in that too, i know i am very lucky. few people can say that they struck gold the first time they've ever tried.

i know for a fact i wouldn't be this happy, have this good of a life if real-life boyfriend weren't here. he has made me better in ways that i do not have words to describe. but i'm also terrified of the earthen grounding-ness of him. i've spent my entire childhood and most of my adult life with my head in the clouds, taking the necessary trips back down to earth when i had to but... it feels strange to be "here" more and more. there's a hole inside of me where "that" heaven should be.

but two things can be true -- i am happy here; i still yearn for that elsewhere.

[blorbologist]

mnim mnim mnim- trick or treat and Zahra?

Treat! :D

--

Zahra was not exactly sheltered, growing up. For all that she was kept in a cage, it did not shield her from anything. Hunger, fear, distrust, pain. You know.

When freedom was offered to her on a cold floor and a somehow warmer moonbeam, she embraced it carefully. Mostly because the first time she could eat - really, truly eat! To her heart’s content! Whatever she liked, claimed the kind tiefling that took her in! - she bloated up like a balloon and retched most of it. And panicked (at the waste, she couldn’t waste, she was a waste). 

Safe to say, she took to the lesson well. Free as she might be, there were still limits out there. To her body, to her powers, to the world. And, truthfully? She had no interest, none at all, in finding where the bars of this cage were.

All that droll prologue to say… well. This is new.

“Candy?”

“Candy,” Vex’ahlia confirms, with the lithe grin of one familiar. She rifles through - no, really picks through it, like a bird at grain in gravel - to pluck a twin to the one she just popped in her mouth. “You know - sweets. Usually made from fruit juices, or chocolate. I know I never saw any in shops in Vasselheim, but have you really never -”

“Oh, I’ve heard, darling,” Zahra interrupts. Vex’ahlia will throw the gleaming thing at her with no provocation, so she reaches over to pluck it from her fingers. The wrapper crinkles in merry silver and reds. Like one of that Percival’s bullets, painted with blood. Charming! “Just never… thought such a small snack was worth the coin.”

Vex hums, already looking for her next prize. “Well, it’s worth mine. And it’s my treat. Go on - try some, before the boys get to the stash. Or Pike.”

Alright, alright. The claws make untwisting the waxy paper a bit of a hassle, but she unveils an elegant little lozenge with curls of vibrant color. She can’t quite smell the fruit flavor her friend noted, and so opens her mouth and drops the candy on her tongue.

Zahra purrs, tail curling loops around the chair’s arm. Strawberry and lemon melt and meet in something she can only describe as magical.

“You’re exaggerating,” Vex grouses. Then, with great cheer: “Try the orange one, darling.”

No, absolutely not. Zahra takes the whole bowl, to Vex’s laughter. She’s trying all of them.

(Unfortunately, that alerts Vox Machina to her loot, which is a whole ordeal. The childhood starvation might have resulted in a touch of food guarding. Oops.)

🎃Trick or Treat! Send me an ask and you'll get a trick (angst) or treat (fluff) ficlet in return! 🎃

[peterspaperplane]

We Saw Elephants

September 16, 2022.

Before I began to write this piece (which contains stories from accurately two months and a week ago) I googled “Elephant can Remember” and got a lot of review for Agatha Christie’s work. My memory confused that for “An Elephant Never Forgets”.

When I googled with the right keywords, this is what I found:

“By using experiences that are stored in its brain as memories, an elephant is able to handle many dangerous situations that might appear in future. For instance, if they survived a drought in childhood, then they would be able to sense the danger of drought in a particular area (basically making a mental connection with the childhood memory ingrained in its brain).”

I haven’t read Madame Christie’s “Elephant can Remember”, though I always wanted to (I remembered Nemesis was a really great company of mine during my isolation time in Nusa Tenggara Timur). I haven’t actually seen elephants (though I might, when I was so much smaller, in some zoos), though I always wanted to.

That one particular Thursday, I got a message from sis:

Dad is coming this weekend. You better stay home, ok?

I didn’t reply. I stared on my phone screen for a while, and been thinking for the rest of the day. At home, we didn’t really have chance to talk because we were too busy—I was busy planning things with my new social life, my sis is always busy with her little family and work.

In time like this, my head would always, always turn to Uncu (derived from Minangnese of ‘uncle’—he has 11 nieces and nephews in total, and about to have one more). Uncu (a.k.a. Ridho a.k.a Dori) is that type of friend who would definitely say yes even if you asked him to go to Antarctic within only 5 minutes before departure. He lives his best life everyday, now that is the good thing.

The bad thing is, we both sometimes are impulsive. I texted him:

I don’t wanna be in the city this weekend. U wanna go somewhere?

Dori, being himself, replied within only minute:

Sure! Where?

Indeed, that too is my question. Where? We—Dori and I—had been to places: Pantai Laguna Kaur (8 hours from the city), Pantai Manna (4 hours away, en route to Kaur), Curup (only 2 hours riding). That would be another-time stories.

So, where? This should be a great escape—but Uncu’s supposed to not know this. This should be just a casual weekend adventure for him. I texted him back:

What about seeing elephant?

Dori is a fruitful storyteller, hence if he once went there, I should have known. But I didn’t. Dori replied back:

Ok.

If there is one thing about Dubas that I am forever grateful for, it is no other than the fact that I found people that I would treasure the most, including Uncu—I mean, Dori. Or whatever.

_________________

I think I did write that I have been staying away from home for months now. Not only because our home preserves a lot of memories about Mum, but more because of the reason that I found out Dad was finding some other women—but that’s unnecessary.

I saw no reasons to explain it to him, or to anyone, so I decided to leave. I decided to stop talking to him. When my sister told me that we should get this problem solved and Dad is about to come in town, my nature told me to run. So I did.

I remember, when I was younger and more sensitive, Mum would sometimes get mad and yell at me. I hid. Everybody was trying to search for me, as though I was really gone. At that time, I like the feeling of being found. I somehow enjoyed the fear in my Mum’s voice as she was looking for me in corners of the house—terrible, I know—while I was curling up right in the left nook of the house.

As I grew up, I came to know that I no longer want to be found. When my instinct tells me run, what I wanted to was actually get lost. I keep pretending that the problems do not exist, so I could live just finely. I keep on avoiding people who hurt me, instead of confronting them and tell what I actually feel.

I have read and heard things about overcoming this-and-that-part-of-life-and-so-on wisely but never get better at doing it in real life. Nobody does, anyway. 2022, as I recall, was not only the year of grief, but also the year of escape. I have been escaping from what I should have faced in the first place. Sometimes, the sense of satisfaction by doing this scared me.

Seblat, the site where we could see elephants live in their habitat is about 6 hours away.

We went on Friday afternoon, after my office hours ended. Uncu was happily jobless at that time (now he’s a busy man, huft). We arrived at Ketahun in the drizzly night, nearby Oma’s house. But Oma also should not know this escape. So, we booked a cheap motel room for one night and intended to leave in the next morning—which we did.

It took another 2 hours to get to Putri Hijau, and another half an hour into the deeper forest, relied onto only Google Maps. After a long ride with feeling of afraid that we might have taken the wrong path, we finally, awkwardly, arrived.

There was no ticketing in the gate, though there were some welcoming statues. There were some (we believe) animal-coaches looking after the elephant as they chewed their lunch, though they were not really welcoming us as we thought they should have. We were just suddenly being really shy and somehow embarrassed.

I remembered, we stared on each other and asked “Is it the right place?” through our eyes, even that we knew the answer was most probably “Yes, this is the place.”

I think it’s really true that elephants have the most sincere eyes. I saw it. We saw elephants.

But none of us was brave enough to ask any of the old men there to guide us or, just to let us touch the elephant. But it was too beautiful to hurt. Even though they are gigantic, I felt somehow that my hands could hurt them. They looked so powerful, and yet vulnerable. They look so big, and yet warm. They look so textured, and yet so pale. They contained so many paradoxes.

Uncu and I observed the elephants from our motorcycle for the next thirty minutes, until their coaches herded them to go down on the stream. Uncu took a video while they were showering in the water (I should ask him for this). That was the end of our meeting with those elephants.

I don’t know about Uncu, but I did not regret this. Well, that statement is partially because I got away from home, partially because I really did so. I wanted to go there again one day.

______________

As I continued my research on elephants’ memories, I found out that they are not the most superior type. Clark's nutcracker birds able to hide their food in differently-complex and secretive places for the winter. However, I’m pretty sure that the proverb wouldn’t change to “Clark's nutcracker bird never forgets” easily. All in all, it’s still elephants that steal my heart. And after that particular journey I had with Uncu, I might never think elephants as just animals now. They helped me in a hurtfully beautiful phase of my life.

As for Uncu, he told me that the journey was absurdly, stupidly fun. I’m happy that he thinks so.

“Rest assured that forgetting is an essential part of life…”

[midnightscxre]

@hccgvlieger CLOSED STARTER

Independence was always the crown the ruby haired woman wore. Turbulent ride of the young woman’s life never ending, finding knew twist and turns on the rocky roads, barely allowing a break to draw in a single resting breath. Meeting challenges head on almost came as something completely natural, a task written inside her DNA. Clare took pride and also serenity in the fact she was able to handle everything alone. . . until the elegant legs didn’t walk upon a sinister route, field of mines and demons determined to see the woman crumble. When things turned bad -- they really aimed for an infernal, apocalyptic experience.

As a successful biochemist with a reputation that opened the doors to any pharmaceutical company, trust placed in her own drugs were unquestionable. . . until an error occurred. One-night-stand and a pill that didn’t work left her in a cage of panic, anxiety and fear, learning that inside of her another life is blooming. Sinister past marked by a heavy childhood forbade the scarlet haired woman to give the child away, developing a strong sense of obligation to protect its existence. Just when Clare thought she made peace with her new future, the walls of stability came crashing down, when the once prestigious company was dragged through mud and dirt, buried under heavy allegations and lawsuits for distributing a drug that caused liver failure. . . and what was worse, woman’s name was on the list of the biochemists that created it. Even though it was a terrible mistake, sadly in this case things took a turn of ‘ guilty until proven innocent ‘ , tearing away any possibility of getting a job.

Desperation wrapped its chains around the tortured ankles, mind attacked by horrors that might follow and this time. . . the victim would be an innocent child. Clare never dreamed that the day would come where she would ask for help, any sort of assistance, even more so when the circle of friends she had was small, almost non-existent. . . but a name that was carved inside of private, intimate memories drew an invisible map towards the man’s door. Only man that stirred up the calm surface of her feelings once, only one that she allowed her heart to yearn for --but from a distance. It was hazy, almost unreal when she came to his door. Tears, something the woman never allowed to be spilled in front of others pouring down her ivory cheeks like heavy rain. What she hoped for and what she expected was two different things, but somehow, here she was, already a month under Joshua’s roof, being welcomed as if they never drifted apart. 

“  I thought you would be married by now.  “ melodic voice said, while the busy fingers traveled along the pages of a cook book. Clare was highly intelligent, brilliant at her field and other things people usually find quite challenging. . . but when it came to the simple domestic things such as cooking, she was lost as Hansel and Gretel in the thick, dark forest. “  Honestly, I expected an angry wife at the door when I came, not you.  “ recalling the night when she appeared in front of his house brought a wave of guilt and agony. Clearing he throat, Clare gazed at the distance, thinking. “  Did I ruin something for you?  “  the man never mentioned any relationship, any personal affairs that might be effected by the decision to let her stay.  The idea of destroying such happiness for him shattered the heart. “  I. . . I am trying to get the court to hurry, to just confirm I didn’t work on that damn project so I can get a job. . . but. . . Joshua I don’t want to fuck up your life just because you decided to help me. . . “ breaking in front of other people was the most difficult and humiliating thing Clare could experience. So uncharacteristic for the young woman’s personality that she barely recognized herself. . . however, it all was for her baby, so the woman endured it.

[serendipitee]

Ahhhh happy birthday!!! I hope you got to celebrate in some sort of way with those you love 🥰 🎂

As for the prompt, how about “16. Riding together up the ski lift” for whichever pairing you want! Your birthday, your choice 😜

First of all! Thank you so much!! Even though I am only replying like two weeks later, I did see this on my birthday and it made me so happy!!🥰

I chose Juke because it’s been almost a week seen I’ve written for them and I missed them 😅 I really hope you like it ❤

16. Riding together up the ski lift

Julie leaves the lodge with a fond smile on her face. Of course, Flynn couldn’t be convinced to leave the warmth of the chimney fire and heavy blankets. Her best friend’s aversion might’ve also something to do with the blonde they had met at the bar yesterday but Flynn would never admit that.

 And it’s not like Julie minds. Skiing on her own, choosing her own paths down the slopes is going to be fun.

So, she picks up her rentals, buys her ticket and gets up the mountain. It’s a beautiful day, the sky a gorgeous blue dotted with fluffy white clouds and the sun warming up the air.

 At the top, she takes a picture, sends it to her family and Flynn before fastening the strap of her helmet. The excitement at the day ahead of her makes her chuckle softly and with a deep breath she starts her descent towards another lift.

 There’s not a lot of traffic on the slopes, which could be expected for a Wednesday morning and it makes skiing that much more fun.

 With a huge smile on her face, Julie reaches the next lift. Not a lot of people are queuing and she’s about to get into the two-seater chairlift alone when somebody squeezes through the gate at the last minute.

 He lets out a breath as the lift takes off, taking off his goggles and Julie catches a glimpse of brown eyes and hair peeking out underneath his bright blue helmet. Unfortunately, he quickly busies himself with his phone and Julie decides to do the same, because what are the odds, she’s gonna strike up a conversation with the cute guy in the ski lift.

 Flynn would grumble at her to grow a pair and just talk to him (What’s the worst that could happen, Jules?!).

 But her best friend’s not here and so the lift ride is filled with silence.

 Weirdly enough, they end up next to each other again. Two rides later, different lift but same blue helmet.

 She’s not sure if he remembers her, there’s no distinctive color in her outfit but even if he does, there’s no indication of it.

 Julie watches their surroundings, enjoying the view and maybe trying to work up the courage to talk about the weather or something but just as she’s about to open her mouth, they reach the end of their ride.

 They separate and she muses that that’s been it, that she blew her second chance all the way down to the next lift.

 It’s a pretty short T-bar lift you need to take to get towards the other side of the mountain and Julie hates those with a passion. There’s something about their mechanism that always freaked her out. She has had images as a kid of getting lifted into the air because she’d weigh too little to keep it down or not letting go quick enough and it dragging her into the poles.

 So, T-bar lifts, not her favorites. But she wants to get to the other side and she’s not a kid anymore. Sucking it up, Julie starts to queue and this time when a familiar blue helmet stops next to her, she can’t help the little flutter in her chest.

 Because she’s already nervous and this is not going to make it any better.

 She’s sure, he recognizes her now, because he sends her a quick smile as they both reach for the lift, placing it between them. It makes her heart flutter the tiniest bit.

 After they have safely left behind the first part of the ride, Julie opens her mouth to say something but he’s quicker. “So, are we going to talk about you stalking me?”

 There’s humor in his voice and Julie’s chest squeezes. “I’d say, you’re following me,” she answers.

 “Oh?”

 “Yeah, you know, because I am always first at the lift.”

 He hums, obviously contemplating it and she dares to chance a glance at him, taking her eyes off her skis for a second.

 She plans on looking back at them right away because you got to concentrate on them while riding a T-bar seeing as the moment they cross, you’re out. Julie knows this, she does.

 It doesn’t change the fact, that she gets caught in his eyes and on his brilliant smile and she can’t look away.

 It’s only when they fall out of the ride that she realizes how she messed up.

 They are a tumble of limps and his laughter is ringing in her ear. Julie’s mortified but he keeps on chuckling as he helps her up, helps put her skis back on her feet and steadies her as they make their way from the lift trail towards the slope.

 “Sorry for… that,” he apologizes, voice soft next to her, “I got distracted.”

 Julie wants to wave it off because so did she, when she realizes what he’s implying. It stops her in her tracks. “Oh,” she breathes out.

 Her eyes find his and he’s grinning a little lopsidedly, a little bashful and the flutter in her heart feels a lot stronger this time.

 “I was, too,” she admits then.

 It turns the bashful smile into a smirk and a little cockily he says, “So, you did stalk me.”

 She huffs out a laugh, rolls her eyes. “Like I said before, I was always first.”

 “Details,” he mumbles just loud enough for her to hear. She still leans a little closer, just because she can. “But maybe there’s a little truth in that.”

 The statement feeds the flutter in her stomach into what feels like a storm. He’s still cute to look at, very cute and she’d like to keep looking at him. Flynn would be so proud of her, when she says, “Let’s see who’s first this time?”

 He brightens, eyes widening just like his smile. “Yeah, sure, yeah, of course! I’m Luke, by the way.”

 “I’m Julie,” she answers, bumping her gloved fist against his.

 “Julie,” he says her name like it’s something precious and it shouldn’t make the flutter stronger but it does. “Nice to meet you.”

 She smiles. It is.

 “Loser buys lunch?” He then throws out and before she can even react, he has pushed himself forward into the direction of the slopes.

 Hurrying after him, the flutter settles a little in her chest, filling her with a warmth that doesn’t leave for the rest of the day. It keeps on growing instead and it continues to do so for the years to come.

[min-play]

Hi min, thank you for being brave and sharing the news about your diagnosis! It's really encouraging to see people getting themselves diagnosed with autism/ADHD as adults, especially expressing the fear that because they've been "high-functioning" their whole lives that nothing was really wrong with them and they'd be wasting a psychiatrist's time by seeking diagnosis. I fear that kind of judgement so much that I can't even talk to my family about the possibility of me being neurodivergent yet. Would you be willing to talk about the steps you took to get diagnosed, and maybe how/if your diagnosis has changed your life since? I know that your personal experiences won't be universal, but it could help undiagnosed followers like me to work up the courage to help themselves.

Thank you for your kind words and for reaching out!

And sure! Here's how I got my ADHD/Autism diagnosis without my parents knowing. Of course, my experience won't be universal but maybe it'll help out somehow. 'Cos the universe knows I couldn't have done it myself without my friends' guidance.

Find a psychiatrist before getting a referral letter from your doctor/general practitioner. Although you need the referral to see the psychiatrist, I found it more practical to book the appointment first. Several reasons for this:

- To find a specialist Looked up psychiatrists specialising in ADHD, because it's what I suspected I had at the time. ADHD is harder to diagnose in adults especially afab.

- Book a convenient time The psychiatrists my doctor referred to were booked up until 6+ months later. I had to call up several different places until I could find an earlier appointment, and that was only because I got lucky.

I did try leaving it up to the GP's judgement (because hey I'm no professional) but some are not particularly experienced in the field so it didn't really go well.

It's easier to just ask for one instead.

Remember, these psychiatric appointments will be expensive. But for a lifetime diagnosis, it's worth it. It was for me at least.

It took several sessions to get a proper diagnosis. During the sessions, the psychiatrist asked a LOT of questions. Goes without saying to answer them as honestly as you can. Some questions might seem irrelevant to ADHD but it's to get a general analysis.

He also asked for blood test and drug test results. Had to get those from another clinic.

Of course it was inevitable for the psychiatrist to ask for my parents to question too.

I had my own reasons for not telling my parents about me possibly being neurodivergent, but it's difficult to get an accurate diagnosis without someone to describe your childhood behaviour. Difficult but not impossible.

Explain your situation to your psychiatrist and they will offer other options. Mine were:

- Provide old school reports

- Questionaire filled by a close associate This one was a tough one too since I was such a recluse that I rarely interacted with even my closest friends. I ended up asking a few of my friends to get as much information as I could. (Thank you so much, guys! <3)

Actually, one of those friends suspected I had autism, something I hadn't considered at the time. They sent me an 'Aspie-Quiz' and suggested sending the results to the psychiatrist too. Here's the quiz if you want to try it out!

[collisiondiscourse]

meet you in the middle // bkdk (ch. 306) fic

Katsuki meets him at the edge of the world.

Standing on the rubbles of a once-thriving city that his people had called home, Katsuki sees him at a distance. A lone figure, standing beside broken statues that overlook a cliff of failures and broken promises. Katsuki sees him at a distance and feels something inside him break like a dam of something unmentionable. The glass beneath his worn combat boots crunches and cracks like the remains of his heart, every step heavy with the weight of the world around him slipping unto drooping shoulders. He says nothing, knowing the other runaway could hear his approach all the same.

Deep purple bruises set themselves under dull viridian eyes, the mixture of color out of place but lovely all the same. His hair’s a mess--greasy in the way that tells Bakugou he hasn’t showered in days, yet Katsuki would love nothing more than to bury his face in the tangled mass of green. The suit and armor he wears is torn, dented, fractured, dirty; it’s scarred like the skin it tries its best to hide. Deku stands still and watches him approach.

The blond halts in his steps.

In that moment, when red and green meet at the edge of the world, time stops completely. The broken concrete beneath their feet feels like a vast and endless void of nothing, silence wrapping around them beautifully and painfully. Between them, the few meters feel like blocks, to miles, to lightyears apart.

It is endless.

Between them, there is pain and sorrow. There is a hurt so deep that neither of the boys could begin to comprehend it--old scars and fresh wounds mending and tearing open, pace akin to the shift of the weather. Between them, Katsuki can feel things that feel like they should be impossible but aren’t. Between them, Katsuki can feel the contradictions that ripple beneath the surface of their skin.

Between them, Katsuki can feel it all.

The distance is staggering. It chases after the two of them like they had chased each other, something like a curse that pulls them apart while simultaneously keeping them at arm’s length.

Katsuki used to beg for it, he knows. (God, does he know.) He used to spend day-by-day stretching that distance, yanking the string that kept them tied together in hopes that eventually it would snap.

Yet that same distance had become something he’d grown to hate. He hated it in the way that it caused Izuku to close himself to the world and nearly cost him his life when Shigaraki had pierced him in battle. He hated the way it shut doors and cuffed him to his hospital bed when he’d found out that Deku was in a coma.

And he hated that distance the most when it brought Deku all the way here.

“Kacchan,” Deku says, the old nickname leaving his mouth simultaneously like a prayer and a pained gasp of fear. “Why are you here?”

The ‘why’ rings in the blond’s head like the sound of a gunshot, piercing and painful at the audacity to even ask such a thing. Why? Why did I come here? Why did I leave everything I’d ever dreamed of in order to chase your dumbass here?

Because. Why the fuck wouldn’t I come here, Deku?

“I got your letter,” Katsuki grunts out instead. His hands clench and unclench, tired and a little bit pained from his journey to find Izuku as fast as possible. The stupid fucking paper rests inside the pants pocket of his hero costume, setting his insides ablaze and leaving the taste of battery acid at the back of his throat.

“You still shouldn’t have--”

“--Shouldn’t have what, Deku?!” He inevitably yet suddenly explodes. The green-haired boy startles from across the building’s roof, jaw shutting with an audible click. “Shouldn’t have dropped out of UA? Shouldn’t have left every single person that loves me and sent myself out on a suicide mission? Shouldn’t have left my fucking mother without even a proper ‘goodbye’?!”

Deku snaps, “You damn well know it wasn’t that simple, Kacchan--”

“It never fucking is! It never fucking is that simple, Deku! You think I wanted to abandon our class? You think I didn’t care about the fucking fact that I just dropped out of UA and will probably never become a fucking pro-hero because of it? I destroyed my own dreams, you idiot!”

“Then go back!” the other boy replies, furious tears welling in his eyes. Katsuki feels paralyzed, unable to move through the surge of emotion that overtakes his mind. Deku takes a step forward, shaking so hard that the blond fears he might pass out. “Go back, you ass! Don’t let me take anything more from you, Kacchan, just please don’t. I can’t handle something like that! Go back and become the number one hero like you always promised, please.”

(A dozen meters apart.)

Izuku’s voice trembles and wavers, desperation seeping from his figure as teardrops fall to the tarmac below. He stands firmly on his two feet, but Katsuki can feel the way his heart begs on its knees. Bakugou’s glare softens.

“I can’t do that, Deku.”

He sniffles. “Why not?”

Tentatively, Bakugou takes a step forward, pacing himself. He opens his mouth to answer, but can’t seem to find the right words and looks away with a frustrated snarl. Deku’s eyes, red-rimmed with agony, peer up at him through his unruly green hair and the wound on Katsuki’s abdomen throbs with heat.

“...Because. I nearly died for you, didn’t I?” the blond eventually replies. “Because I know you think that that means you have to go and fucking do things alone because you don’t want me to nearly die for you a second time, but that’s exactly fucking it.” Katsuki huffs. He takes another step further, watching Deku crumple to the ground as sobs rack his figure.

“Kacchan got hurt, but it wasn’t your battle. It’s mine,” he chokes out anyway, stubborn as he is in the way Bakugou had grown to admire. As much as the blond’s soul rattles with anger, with hatred at the society that forced his childhood friend to bear the weight of the world upon his shoulders, he forces himself not to shout.

(Five meters apart.)

“‘Wasn’t’, was the word. Now, it is. I’m not letting you do this alone whether you fucking like it or not, shitty nerd.” Katsuki sucks in a breath. “You never gave me a choice, did you? I didn’t have a choice into knowing about your cursed fucking quirk, I didn’t have a choice into you leaving us to fight Shigaraki alone, I didn’t have a choice in knowing whether you’d be okay or not in the hospital after I myself nearly fucking died--and now that I finally goddamn do have that choice, you better make sure you let me have it, Deku.” Another step.

Deku lets out an anguished gasp for air between his hiccups and tears, and wails, “But why? Kacchan, you have the choice to be safe and let yourself win without One for All getting away! Why would you let me bring you more harm like this?!”

“Because you never fucking let me apologize to you, shithead!” The blond succumbs at last, yelling in hurt and in pain. The distance between them is so small, yet every goddamn particle feels like a world’s away in which Kacchan and Deku were made to fall apart. His skin prickles, air buzzing with the energy of a feeling so big contained in something so small. The moment suspends itself in time, fragile as glass and broken shards twice as painful, “I wanted to say that I was sorry, okay?!”

“Kacchan--”

Bakugou growls, “No. Let me say this, Izuku.” He waited, so goddamn long, for an opportunity to say what he wanted--no, needed--to say. The distance that felt like a whole galaxy between them burned something fierce, a serendipitous inevitability that felt like it was reaching its boiling point as the world around them reduced to ashes. The blond musses up his hair and exhales heavily, letting his angry demeanour calm for Izuku’s sake.

“I used to resent you. So much.” Katsuki starts. He’s close enough to Deku that he can see the subtle way the shorter boy scrunches his brows together, letting out a shaky breath of incredulousness. “When we were in middle school, I tormented and bullied you under the guise of hating you for something that you couldn’t control.”

“The truth is, that wasn’t why I resented you.” He blows out a breath. Deku looks up at him in shock, so Bakugou ploughs on. “I resented you because I didn’t understand you. At that time, I couldn’t understand how anyone, especially someone virtually powerless like yourself, could somehow still be a better person--hell, a better hero--than I was.”

Ruby red eyes gazed at the horizon.

“I always thought myself to be the best at everything. Always knew I was destined for victory. That hasn’t changed,” Katsuki swallows as Izuku pulls himself back on to his feet. Now standing, Izuku looks at him as if he’d suddenly had the revelation of his life, (which, Bakugou assumes, was paramount to this in any case.) “What has changed now though… is that I think I finally get it.”

He coughs.

“... I think I finally get you,”

(Two meters.)

“Katsuki… I’m--” Deku swallows, eyes shiny again as he tries to compose himself. He nods at the blond and in that instant Katsuki knows he’s been forgiven a long time ago. The distance tugs at the pit of his stomach, feelings of something warm and strange writhing inside. What once was a flood of misunderstanding that crashed and pulled the two of them apart had dried into a lively valley. Deku takes a step closer.

“But it isn’t just that anymore,” the blond is quick to blurt out. He looks at Deku and for once instead of a regretful past or an ongoing development, he thinks he sees a future.

“If this were all for atonement, I wouldn’t have left UA like you said. It’s… deeper. I’m workin’ on it, but there’s just something that pulls me to do this. It pisses me off, but it also makes me want to keep you at an arm’s length.” Katsuki shakes his head at the bullshit that spews out from his own mouth.

“I don’t fucking know what it is, but I know how it makes me feel.”

Izuku stares into his eyes, wide and innocent in a way that used to make him angry but now only makes him… dazed. “And how does it make you feel, Kacchan?”

He huffs a laugh of rueful acceptance. “Fucking weird. Like I suddenly want to chase you to the ends of the fucking earth just to make sure you’re alive. Like I want to be close to you again and again and again even in our next fucking lives.”

Katsuki takes another hesitant step forward.

“I want a lot of things now. I want shit that I can’t name but I sure as hell know won’t relate to becoming the number one hero. I want to keep you within sight, keep you close and alive because of the fact that it’s you and nothing else. I want…”

(Three feet.)

The distance around them is reduced to a little less than an ache. Issues like theirs aren’t solved overnight, but for the small distance they have between each other it feels less like a curse and more like the moment before an inevitability. They can’t quantify all that they are to each other--can’t begin to measure it in fickle things like centimeters or miles or inches or lightyears--but in that moment Katsuki supposes one could label what they have as ‘love’.

He’s never spoken this much in such a short amount of time, never let himself be wordy when his concise speech was efficient and easy. Yet, something about freckles and scars and green hair makes him want to run his fucking mouth off and list his every feeling under the sun. The vice-like grip over his heart that had been there since the moment he’d woken up in the hospital eases a little, and Katsuki’s broken heart feels like it is coming home.

(Two feet.)

“You want…?”

Katsuki looks into Izuku’s eyes, really looks. He looks and he sees life and salvation and something that he’d been missing for so long that tasting it for the first time has left him wanting like a man in a desert. He reaches out an arm, now fully within reach and gives Deku a pleading and weak stare that says everything and nothing at once.

“I want everything that I can get. Everything you can give me. No matter what the cost.”

(One.)

Deku crashes into his embrace, pulling him close and meeting Katsuki somewhere in the middle as the chase finally fucking stops. To Katsuki, it feels like the birth of a star as the warmth engulfs him fully, setting alight to every one of his nerves. The feeling of holding Deku fills him with all the words he cannot name and it feels like he’s reached some impossible height at the top of the world.

The war has not been forgotten, and the road ahead of them is long, but the distance between Kacchan and Deku--Katsuki and Izuku--is now nothing more than a physical concept. The hug blurs the line between the two young heroes, shaping itself until it is indistinguishable where one ends and the other begins. There is a sensation, one that is burning like an inferno but comforting all the same because at this point in time, Katsuki vows to run after and find Izuku Midoriya in every lifetime after this, in every world that they’ll be in. He vows with all his heart that he’ll be the one to watch Deku while Deku watches the world, to protect Deku while Deku protects the others. Katsuki vows to take Deku for everything that he is and isn’t, wholly and unconditionally because the distance is gone and there’s nothing now that can stop him from following this boy to the ends of the universe.

Katsuki Bakugou vows all this because here, right now, on top of the ruins of a city he’d once known and arms full of a boy he’d been trying to chase for a lifetime--Katsuki comes home.

(Zero.)

[thirstyforcharacters]

Tequila (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Summary: Every person has a soulmate. When your soulmate experiences pain, so do you, and any bruises, scars, or other markings that they get appear on your skin. Or, the story of how aliens attacking Las Vegas was the best thing to ever happen to you.

Notes: Hello! I already did a very similar soulmate AU for Sam Wilson (which you can read here), but I love soulmate AU’s so much that I decided to do one for Bucky, too! Hopefully, I made them different enough that they don’t seem too repetitive. Did I write this while I was supposed to be watching a documentary on Bach for music history? Maybe. But I think this was a much better use of my time. Hope you enjoy! (no y/n, no pronouns)

Warnings: canon typical violence, alien invasion, blood (not too much tho), car crash

WC: 1.9 k

For all of your life, you couldn’t feel your left arm.

When you started to crawl, your parents noticed you only used your right arm to pull yourself forward while your left would hang limply at your side. Your parents brought you to the doctor, deeply concerned, but when she examined your arm, she found nothing wrong. No x-rays showed broken or deformed bones, and no MRI’s showed any problems in the brain. By all medical standards, you should be able to move your left arm. You just couldn’t. Everyone hoped that it would go away, but to their chagrin, it remained unmoving throughout your childhood. You obviously knew your arm was there since you could clearly see it, but you couldn’t feel the nerve endings inside it. When you poked your arm with your other finger, you felt absolutely nothing. And weirdly enough, your family said it was always cold to the touch, no matter how warm the rest of your body was.

You had a feeling that it had something to do with your soulmate, and when you reached adulthood (specifically around 24), you were almost positive that was the reason. You often woke up with random injuries that you knew you didn’t give yourself. Gunshot wounds, deep slashes, broken bones, and large bruises were commonly branded on your skin. You were positive that if your soulmate was getting shot at every other night, then they almost definitely had some sort of damage done to their arm that affected your own. But if they had had this condition since you were born, how old were they? That was always a question that kind of weirded you out. You didn’t particularly want to be “meant to be” with some wrinkly, old person! Especially if they were somehow getting themselves into this much trouble. And now that you thought about it, none of these injuries were on your (or their) left arm. How could that be if they’ve literally been hurt everywhere else on their body?

When you weren’t in and out of the hospital with randomly serious injuries, you were quite busy cooking up a storm in Turkey, Tacos, and Tequila, your restaurant in Las Vegas. You and your best friend, Nicolás, had opened it three years ago; you were the head chef and he ran the business side of things. The two of you had talked about opening a restaurant together since you were teenagers, so both of you had moved to Vegas together after college/culinary school. Together, you found that you were an unstoppable team, and within a year of opening, you were one of the most popular restaurants throughout all of Vegas! Most times, because you were so busy, your soulmate problem stayed in the back of your mind. But every once in a while, a bruise would appear on your eye or a large cut down the length of your leg, and you would be reminded again.

Nic, as you called him, already found his soulmate. Oliver had moved in with you a year ago, and joined you side by side in the kitchen. You became almost as close with him as you had with Nic. They were adorable together, and never made you feel like the third wheel. There were some times, though, where you found yourself a little bit jealous that they had found each other so quickly, and that neither of them had ever suddenly started bleeding all over a nearly complete order of mango fish tacos.

Whenever you got a little down about it, Nic would always clap you on the shoulder and say, “You’ll find them someday. And when you do, break their nose. They deserve it for the hell they’re accidentally putting you through.”

It never failed to make you laugh. You had half a mind to do just that when you met the love of your life. You just didn’t know when that would be.

On yet another hot and dry Nevada night, you were closing up at the restaurant (or morning, you supposed, since it was nearly 1 am). Nic, Oliver, and your other employees had gone home already, so it was only you that remained. You turned off the lights and locked the door. You pushed your way through the drunken crowds and tourists on the street and made your way to your car. As you were opening the door, you could hear gasps of shock coming from the crowd of people roaming the streets. You looked up and saw an eerie flash of green across the sky, and a strange-looking, portal appeared in the sky! Shrieks of fear permeated the air as grotesque, reptilian creatures began spilling from the portal.

Frantically, you flung yourself into your car and turned over the engine, hoping to escape the clutches of these aliens. Though your apartment was in the opposite direction of the portal, as per usual, there was a decent amount of traffic, so you weren’t sure how good your chances were. But you figured you’d at least be safer in your car than exposed outside of it.

You were able to pull into traffic and weave through it fairly well, making good use of the side streets that only the locals knew about. But the creatures were overtaking the city faster than you could drive. You knew you didn’t have long before they caught up with you.

Just when that thought popped into your head, a blinding flash of light appeared in your rearview mirror. A loud bang, almost like a cannon, sounded, and through your mirror, you saw a truck hurtling toward you at breakneck speed! You attempted to swerve out of the way, but the truck crashed into your car, shoving it against a street light! The driver’s side of your car crumpled against the lamppost, and the glass in your window shattered at the contact. You attempted to cover your face with your hands, but a piece of glass still managed to make a pretty deep cut above your left eye, as well as a few pieces of shrapnel sinking into your legs. The whiplash from the contact damaged your neck as well; pain spread throughout your neck and back. All you could do was sob in agony. You had never felt this much pain in your life.

Your hand was trembling as you unbuckled your seatbelt, but you found yourself unable to leave your car! The driver’s side door was crushed, the truck was smushed against your passenger door, and there was no way you would be able to climb out of the backseat, nor lift yourself out of the broken window with the injuries you sustained. You were trapped. You waited for a little bit, until some of the chaos surrounding you died down; even in your damaged state, you knew that no one would be able to hear you even if you screamed for help as loudly as you could.

You strained your ears, and were able to hear gunfire, commands being shouted, and the hissing of these reptilian creatures. Eventually, instead of the noise of a battle, you could hear voices trying to dig people out of the rubble. Somehow, they sounded familiar, but you couldn’t place how. Well, if they were rescuing people, you figured they were your only chance.

“Help,” you screamed, “I’m trapped in my car! Please help me!”

You heard footsteps sprinting in your direction and a voice call, “Don’t worry, we’ll get you out of there!”

You watched in amazement as the truck on your passenger’s side was surrounded by a glowing, red presence, and moved out of the way! It had to be the Avengers! Who else would be able to do something that crazy? You were brought out of your thoughts by your car being dragged away from the pole, making you jump. A face popped up in your shattered window. He was gorgeous; bright, blue eyes, short, chestnut hair, and a warm smile. He took hold of the broken door and wrenched it from its fastenings.

“Hi. My name is Bucky Barnes. This is Wanda Maximoff,” the man said, gesturing back to a woman wearing scarlet, “we’re going to get you out of here, okay?”

“Okay,” you replied, relieved, “thank you so much!”

He smiled again, “Oh, it’s no problem. You should probably stay there until the EMT’s get here. Moving might make your injuries even worse.”

You nodded slightly in reply, but the pull in your neck made you groan in pain.

He winced, “Try not to move that, either. You may not be bleeding there, but I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“Okay.”

“Here, let me help you with that. I can at least stop the bleeding,” he offered, gesturing to your forehead and leg.

“Oh, thank you!” you answered.

He nodded and reached for some bandages he had in his jacket with his metal arm. His left arm. Suddenly, you noticed things you didn’t notice before. He also had a large cut above his left eye, in the same spot as your injury. It wasn’t bleeding, though, perhaps because of his enhancements. You noticed him moving his neck in a circular motion, seemingly to stretch it out. He had holes in his pants and small puncture wounds on his legs, in the same spots where glass was sticking out of you. Again, though, they were already healing. Could that be why you had never felt your arm before? Because your soulmate’s was metal? It would make complete sense.

“Are you okay?”

You didn’t even realize you had zoned out until Bucky addressed you. He was gently cleaning the wound on your forehead.

“Yes,” you whispered, fixated on the wound on his forehead.

His eyebrow raised, “Are you sure? You seem a little out of it.”

“I-I’m fine. I just noticed something kind of strange. I think the cut on your forehead matches mine.”

He touched his forehead, “Oh, yeah, I forgot about that with the adrenaline and everything. Only got it maybe 20 minutes ago.”

“That’s when my car crashed. And you’re having neck pain, like me,” you murmured, “and your arm is metal. I’ve never been able to feel my arm.”

His eyes widened, “Really? You think we’re meant to be?”

“Maybe,” you replied.

He nodded, “It seems likely. What’s your name?”

You gave him your name and he smiled again.

“I’ve been waiting for this for a century.”

You giggled softly, “I guess that explains why I’ve been experiencing this since I was born. I was afraid you’d be gross and wrinkly.”

He chuckled, “Well, hopefully you don’t think I’m either of those things.”

“Definitely not.”

The EMT’s arrived then. Bucky stepped aside and the medics removed you from your car.

As you were being loaded into the ambulance, Bucky approached you.

“How can I get in contact with you after this?”

“Just come by Turkey, Tacos, and Tequila. It’s my restaurant, I’m almost always there,” you told him.

“Okay. I’ll drop by sometime soon, when you’re better of course.”

“Looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

As he was walking away, you couldn’t stop the grin forming on your lips. Sure, what had happened to you today was terrible. But you knew you would heal, and now, you had also finally met your soulmate. No wonder why you were randomly injured all of the time! If today was any indicator of what the rest of your relationship would look like, though, you’d probably need all of that tequila you were selling for yourself.

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for August 2021! Below you’ll find 23 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​.

Happy reading!

He Carries The Key by @lululawrence

[Niall/Louis, OT5, 8k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Niall was mostly home, ready for a shower and a chat with Louis, when suddenly Niall was flooded with emotions from the pack bond.Shock. Surprise. Confusion.But mostly fear.Something was wrong with Louis.

Plus One by mynameispiaivy / @missrefridgefreetorator

[Louis/Luke Malak, 3k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis is invited to an event and he has to bring a "plus one".

Better Mistakes by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

[Harry/Louis, 117k, Explicit, tumblr post]

“Look, this doesn’t have to be the end of the world-”

“Oh but it fucking is,” Louis said, shaking his head. “How the fuck am I going to tell Matt I’m pregnant with a baby when we’ve not had sex in months? He might be a bit thick sometimes, but he is gonna know there’s no chance this baby is his.”

“You don’t have to, uh, tell him it’s mine, right?”

Louis scoffed. “Why, are you scared he’s gonna come and kick the shit out of you?”

“He wishes,” Harry laughed, looking back down at the test. “Shit, I … I can’t believe this. Louis, I didn’t mean for this. Honestly. It was just sex for me. We have great sex, and I didn’t see why I should have to turn that down, not when you clearly wanted it as much as I did. I didn’t want this to end in a baby.”

Louis knows he shouldn’t be sleeping with his boyfriend’s enemy. He knows that. But there’s something that draws him back to Harry over and over again. Falling in love wasn’t part of the plan...

Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry/Nick Grimshaw, 7k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Hello, I’m sorry if this isn’t a post that is allowed on this channel, but I was hoping for the best since it is regarding a photography project I’m working on at the moment. I’m working on a set of sunrise kiss photos and therefore am needing a willing kissing partner. I’d hoped to be able to provide one for myself, but it hasn’t panned out, so here I am! I was hoping to find someone here, since I know most of you (at least peripherally) and can generally vouch for you not being creeps. Plus this way I know you will understand needing to continue to tweak the camera settings and reshoots etc that others might not.

Anyway, I’m looking for someone who identifies as male or male-ish (sorry, ladies) who is between the ages of 18 and 40. I’m a 29 year old male-ish myself, for those who would like to know before replying.

If you’re interested and are free the early morning of August 7th and would like to kiss in the sunrise with me for the sake of some (hopefully) interesting and fun photos, let me know via DM and I’ll give you the location.

OR the one where Louis needs a kissing partner, two show up, and it all might turn out for the best that way.

call my name and save me from the dark by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 4k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

“I don’t know if it was a nightmare,” he confesses to the ceiling, the darkness making it easier to speak up even when he still has to close his eyes to stop himself from tearing up. “It feels more like a memory. But it can’t be.”

Harry shifts, and Louis can feel his chin perched on his chest, doesn’t need to look at him to know that Harry’s studying him. “Why?” He prompts, when Louis doesn’t immediately continue, and Louis swallows, tries to shrug off the apprehension, the fear that Harry will think that he’s gone mad.

“Because I heard them pronounce me dead.”

Feels like home by @neondiamond

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis comes home from work with an exciting surprise. Daydreaming and celebrations ensue.

this is my jam by @disgruntledkittenface

[Harry/Louis, 4k, Mature, tumblr post]

The guy’s eyes are so blue that Harry can’t tear his gaze away, even as he moves to the beat. The searing light shade is magnetic; he finds himself leaning in and yelling, “This is my jam!” only to earn a laugh from thin pink lips that Harry’s definitely going to be dreaming about tonight.

“Your jam?”

When the guy yells back over the music, his blue eyes sparkling and his lips twisted in a smirk, Harry’s chest literally puffs out with pride at earning his attention. His obvious approval. Tongue-tied, Harry nods and closes his eyes as he lets go, the music reverberating around them. All of the usual inhibitions that keep him in the corner at parties fall away and he bounces around the center of the dance floor, waving his arms above his head. Somehow his towel stays on, even as he starts to think he wouldn’t mind if it fell off. Fuck it. He finally made it here, he’s damn well going to enjoy it.

Harry goes to a gay bathhouse for the first time. 90s AU.

I Know My Arithmedick (2 + 2 = 4sum) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Harry/Louis + Louis/multiple partners, 3k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry wants to watch Louis fuck someone else. Louis loves giving Harry what he wants. It’s simple math, really.

doG…and his friend by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright

[Louis/Harry, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

When Joan has to move out of her small, nice home and in with a random roommate, she obviously brings her dog/boyfriend, Doug, with her.

Doug makes a friend. And maybe more.

I Heard You Talking by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry, 10k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

It had been an hour of their noise that Louis had been dealing with, and for some reason the fact that these grown men were being this rowdy in the quiet carriage over a game of Uno was the breaking point for him. He stood up and turned around, making his way down to where the group of five were somehow gathered around a table.

Louis stopped at the table and cleared his throat, mouth open and ready to politely request they keep it down when the man who was sitting with his back to Louis turned.

He was stunningly gorgeous.

Blinking a ridiculous number of times in an attempt to pull himself together, Louis coughed and spit out, “This is the quiet carriage.”

God, he was nearly forty and that was the best he could do in front of a set of pretty, green eyes?

Or the one where Harry is famous and Louis doesn't have a clue. Good thing his son is able to help him out.

All That You Need by @haztobegood

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Pre-heat was always one of Harry’s favorite times to spend with Louis. It was a time to rest up and indulge in extra cuddles, like basking in a ray of sunshine before having to dive off the deep end. Louis lavishes him with tender touches and soft kisses. Harry wants to savor this time as long as possible. The unquenchable need will come later, but for now, his desires are simple. He just needed to be closer to his alpha. As close as possible.

sickly sweet fonding by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, General, tumblr post]

A few members of their crew start piling up the dirty dishes and taking them over to the sink. Harry walks around the cameras, and smiles brightly at Louis.

“What do you think, Lou? Do I have it in the bag?”

Louis eyes a bowl of bright pink lumpy batter being cleaned from Harry’s side. “Of course you do.” He wraps an arm around Harry’s waist and steers him away, all while ignoring the dramatic gagging Niall is doing. He doesn’t think it’s just the batter making Niall gag.

or the one where Louis fonds over Harry's horrible baking skills

Fractured Moonlight by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis huffs because he doesn’t want to deal with this. “Listen, I appreciate your concern.” He doesn’t. “But it’s not your duty to look after the sad man at the bar. Okay?”

'Ere comes the milk by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Harry/Louis, 1k, Explicit]

Louis is obsessed with Harry's mommy milkers.

everything comes back to you by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Louis/Harry, 8k, Explicit]

Harry and Louis are childhood best friends. What happens when Harry has to move towns just as they are starting their secondary gender presentations? What happens when fate brings them back together years later in the most unexpected of ways?

He Still Takes My Breath Away by @parmahamlarrie

[Harry/Louis, 32k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Camp Infinity is the perfect place for a lot of things; hiking, swimming, sports, eating, and falling in love. Harry Styles is a bit too familiar with the last one from his years of being a camper. This year things will be different. He’s 21, a grown man now, and ready to see Camp Infinity from a different point of view; working as a lifeguard. However, his whole summer turns upside down when a familiar British lad makes his return into Harry's life.Or the one where Harry is a lifeguard and Louis is the head of recreation. And, sometimes, you just need a little push to realize what was right in front of you the whole time.

Also known as – The Summer Camp Fic

tread lightly on my ground by fairytalelights / @lookslikefairytale

[Louis/Harry, 20k, Explicit, tumblr post]

No, that's the tragic part of this, the part that makes Harry feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on him. The father of his baby is exactly right, exactly who he always imagined himself having kids with. He just imagined them married, bonded. Happy. He didn't imagine them barely talking, tip-toeing around each other because neither of them is brave enough to talk about what happened between them. He didn't imagine the father of his child not loving him back.

or, the one where Harry is having Louis' baby, but Louis doesn't know it's his.

Getting a Head for Heights by @ladyaj-13 / LadyAJ_13

[Louis/Greg James, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

The problem is, Louis thinks Greg would be quite good to date, so it would really help if everyone would stop reminding him of that fact so he could unthink it. He’d be a gentleman, at least until Louis talked him out of it, and he’s funny and nice and hot and they’re both into music and football and drama. He’s also a freakish giant of a human, and the problem with dating is that sooner or later you have to stand next to each other.

We Go Together (series) by @beelou / cherrylarry

[Louis/Harry, 3k, General, tumblr post]

A grease au

Hot Boy Summer (series) by @louisandtheaquarian / zita17

[Harry/Louis, 35k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Louis is an overworked bartender hoping to save up enough extra tips to buy a new air conditioner before he literally melts during a scorching NYC heat wave. Harry is the new neighbor that wakes him up by moving in his sole day off at 6am. An NYC enemies to neighbors to lovers AU featuring a rickety fire escape, the 2021 Euros, Lirry bickering like a divorced couple, and enough OT5 clichés to rot your teeth. (If Harry's pastries don't get them first.)

across the river is where my heart is by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 8k, General, tumblr post]

The first time they see each other is when they are toddlers, playing out in the yard. Louis remembers sitting on the perfectly trimmed lawn and getting yelled at for picking at the soft blades of grass; she remembers looking over, across the narrow but deep and wild river, and watching another little girl, out in a different garden, picking flowers for her mother.

She remembers carefully raising her hand and waving—her little heart beating hard in her chest, as if she had done something dangerous, something forbidden, even though back then she could not understand the true divide the River made amongst them.

bright eyes, blue denim by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis' favourite jeans have suddenly disappeared from where he always got them. Harry is a store manager with an affinity for customer care, particularly when the customer has bright blue eyes and happens to be very flirty.

whatever you feel like doing in this moment by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Harry/Louis, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis gets all that he's ever wanted during his favourite game at their group's weekly improv show.

[banditthewriter]

Intensity - Loki

Here we have a Loki fic. That came out of nowhere, I’ve only ever written drabbles for him. It’s not long but hopefully it’s not bad?

Enjoy!

*gif not mine*

*****

Unlike most people, the mutant gene didn’t show up when you were a kid. You could be grateful for that at least. Because of that little grace, your childhood had been completely normal. No worries, no fears, nothing out of the ordinary.

Then you started to notice changes.

People seemed calm around you for the most part. If your emotions were out of control, you realized that others would be that way too. It took a while to understand that it was more than just the environment, more than just coincidence.

It took a disaster.

It was a fight with your dad when you were a teen. You didn’t even remember what it was about, what caused the issue, but you were angry enough that you were told to go to your room. Your mom had come in to sit with you for a while to try to calm you down.

The next thing you know, she went into the living room and tried to attach your dad with a butcher knife. He was okay but he did have to get sixteen stitches. And your mom was traumatized, not understanding why she tried to kill the man she loved.

That’s what had them put it all together. The little things they’d noticed but had brushed off had come out in a big way.

You could influence other people’s emotions. Oddly enough, anger was easier than the nicer emotions, but you’d had a pretty laid back life so you didn’t feel anger a lot. 

Maybe that’s why it was so potent when you did feel it.

Emotion manipulation could be dangerous without proper training so in college, after a few years of trying to pretend you were normal, you left to find someone to train you. Therapists, doctors, military people all tried their hand to get you trained. All of them had the same thing to say.

You were undisciplined at best. At worst? You’d never be able to be completely in control. 

Over the years it became harder and harder to keep in contact with people, including your family. It wasn’t like you could have an actual relationship that way. You could never be sure if you were influencing someone’s emotions, even when you tried to get control of your powers.

The military had a bracelet that worked for other mental powers. It didn’t work flawlessly, but it helped. It dampened your emotional field so that it took touch to influence someone for the most part. That and a steady regime of keeping calm, you got a better grasp on it.

Better didn’t mean perfect though. You still sometimes affected people when you didn’t mean to. You still hated it when you did it.

One of the things you did learn while working with various therapists was that there was more to your power than just emotion manipulation. To a lesser degree, you could read emotions on people. It didn’t work as well when you had the bracelet on, dampened that power as well, but sometimes...sometimes you could catch bits and pieces off of the people closest to you.

While you traveled from military base to military base to try to figure out a way to work on your powers, you didn’t expect to get a call from the Avengers. 

Well. It was less of a call and more of Iron Man dropping down in front of you and one of the generals so that he could offer you a place to stay at his tower.

“How’d you hear about me?”

Although you couldn’t see his eyes, you knew that Iron Man—Tony Stark, it was Tony Stark in front of you—was looking at you.

“Fury. He has a way of getting information on lost souls that need a little help. What do you say? Wanna be a part time Avenger? Use your mojo to make some people really docile so that we don’t have to keep wrecking New York City every time some supervillain decides to stop by?”

You shifted a bit and looked at the general beside you. He just shrugged.

You weren’t a prisoner of the military. It had been very evident that you were there voluntarily. It was up to you.

“I’m working on a better dampener for mental powers. Maybe I can make one that’s specific to your power and you won’t have to worry about it anymore.”

And just like that, you didn’t need to hear anything else.

------

The tower is bigger than you thought it would be. Which is a good thing. Especially when you realized it’s not just the Avengers that frequent the tower but other members of Shield.

“This area is all yours,” Mr Stark says as he shows you to your room. Suite. Apartment. “The walls are made from the same dampening material as your bracelet so it’ll contain your powers.”

“My powers aren’t that powerful,” you said softly as you touched the bracelet in question. “Thank you Mr Stark. I...I want to help people but I am scared of what my powers might do. I want to protect people from me.”

He turned to look at you and dropped some of that rich man bravado he’d been sporting since he escorted you onto his private jet.

“You don’t have to be scared of yourself here. I promise.”

That’s not the last time you see him either. He explains that you should call him Tony and although it’s weird at first, you do.

“Tony, aren’t you scared I’ll influence you?”

He looked up from where he was typing on a tablet, his feet up on the table in your kitchenette.

“Pretty sure you do,” he said casually as he looked back down at the tablet. “It’s only ever small things though. Calm sometimes, tired sometimes. Hungry that one, that’s why I ordered pizza.”

You felt your heart start to beat fast at the thought of you accidentally influencing him, but he must have caught on to that. 

“Anxiety and I are old friends,” he explained as he put the tablet down and crossed over to you. “I’m not worried about it. Your influence doesn’t last if I’m not around you so once I leave, I’m back to myself. But honestly? Your influences are a lot simpler than some of the things I’ve felt.”

You thought about everything you knew about Iron Man and the Avengers and decided, yeah, he was probably right. Anything you could make him feel would be pretty tame compared to flying a nuclear warhead into a wormhole without knowing if you were coming back.

------

The first time you meet Natasha Romanoff, you spill orange juice on your shirt. She just smirked and grabbed a napkin to hold out to you.

It was the first time you’d let yourself out of your rooms. The new bracelet was supposed to be more effective, but Tony said he wouldn’t know if he was on the right track until you let yourself be around people. 

People meaning Shield agents. You didn’t expect to be face to face with Black Widow.

Her grin wavered for a second before it came back even brighter.

“You have better control than I thought you’d have,” she admitted as she leaned against a nearby table. “Stark said this new bracelet would still let you influence, but you stopped it pretty quick.”

“I didn’t even realize what I was doing,” you confided as you gripped your half full glass of orange juice. “I just want to hold it all in when I’m around people.”

Natasha tapped her fingers on the table before she crossed over towards the door.

“It’s not good to hold it in. You might end up like a grenade without a pin.”

With that helpful piece of advice, she left. 

Later, in Tony’s lab rather than your room, you told him what she said. He nodded as he made a few adjustments.

“She’s got the right idea at least. You stretch your wings with it every now and then, that’s one thing. You don’t work it at all and the muscle will atrophy. Who knows what a gift like yours can do if it degrades and you don’t have control over it?”

It took a while to come up with a plan. A few Shield agents, volunteers specifically, would work with you and let you influence them. Under supervision in case you lost control. 

It was a step. You just wish you knew if it was in the right direction or not.

------

“This is Thor and that’s his...brother Loki. Don’t worry, he’s on his best behavior these days.”

You nearly swallowed your spit when you turned around and sure enough, you were faced with Tony, Thor, and Loki. This was somehow your life but you hadn’t really figured it out yet. You were a few feet away from literal Gods.

Thankfully Tony couldn’t read your thoughts because he’d think you lumped him in with that group. 

“Uh, hi,” you said as you introduced yourself.

“Ah, another Avenger? Welcome.”

You smiled at Thor and shook your head, but Tony moved over and draped his arm over your shoulder.

“Definitely an Avenger, just with training wheels. Probationary,” he explained at Thor’s uncertain look. “We’re working on the kinks.”

You wanted to elbow Tony to get him off of you, especially as you could feel your heart start to race in your chest. This was nerves, anxiety building into a spike in your chest. Only Tony didn’t seem to react. He usually would at least look at you if he felt you influencing him.

And he didn’t seem to feel anxious or nervous in the least. Neither did Thor who was talking to Tony about...something about a bridge, you weren’t sure.

But Loki. You hadn’t paid much attention to him after the initial greeting, but you met his gaze now. He was staring straight at you, an intrigued look on his face as he watched you. 

Tony and Thor might not have noticed your influence, but it seems Loki had. Great.

“I should get back to the lab,” you said as you stepped out from under Tony’s arm. “It was nice to meet you both. Bye.”

You heard Thor’s farewell at your back, but you could still feel Loki’s gaze on your as you turned the corner.

------

Any other time that you ran into Thor in the tower, he always put you at ease. Tony had explained your powers and how you were coming to grips with them. Thor asked questions about it, always careful to never put you on edge, but he didn’t seem concerned for himself.

“It would be hard for a human such as yourself to influence an Asgardian mind,” he said with a smile when you asked him about it.

That didn’t explain Loki then. Besides your first meeting, every time you were around the dark haired God you’d turned into a nervous, babbling mess. The look on his face was always intrigued, but it wasn’t cruel. It seemed almost clinical. 

Although you’d heard a lot about that particular God’s abilities. Maybe since he had some mind control abilities himself, he could feel it in you.

And didn’t that just put you on edge. You weren’t sure how you felt about having something in common with Loki, God of mischief. 

Although you weren’t entirely sure that was the only reason you felt nervous around Loki. Most people talked about how attractive the God of thunder is, with reason, but there was just something about the dark haired God that caught your attention.

So of course you would find yourself alone with the God in question while you waited for Tony. The Avengers were off Avenging and you didn’t like to be holed up while you waited for them.

You weren’t sure why you expected Loki to be off with them, but he wasn’t. He was in a chair in the room, a book on his lap that he flicked through lazily. When you walked in, his eyes lifted up and met yours.

There was a challenge in his gaze. Normally you’d make an excuse and turn to leave. He was challenging you to see if you’d do it now that there weren’t other people around.

Instead you crossed over and went to the kitchen area.

“Is it because of my past misdeeds? Is that why you’re nervous around me?”

You hadn’t heard him speak before right then, but his voice fit him. You tapped your fingers against the fridge door that you had pulled open even though you weren’t hungry. 

“I’ve heard a few stories about you, sure. But you’re a God. It’s...intimidating.”

You heard the chair creak. When you looked over your shoulder, he had stood up and crossed a few feet to be closer.

“Regardless of my past, you have nothing to fear from me.”

Slowly you shut the fridge door and turn to face him completely. The look on his face made you believe him. But it was more than that. You could feel something from him, an emotion buried in the haze from your bracelet.

Honesty.

“Okay,” you whispered as you met his eyes. “I’ll...keep that in mind.”

------

The lower library wasn’t exactly your favorite, but it was usually empty. You walked through the first few aisles and froze when you saw that you weren’t alone.

“You come here to be alone,” Loki guessed as he looked around the room. “It’s one of the few places that’s technically public but usually void of people.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself and nodded.

“I’m supposed to be in public for a few hours each day but sometimes it gets to be a bit too much. So I come here.”

He nodded as if he understood that. Then he turned to face you head on. 

“How powerful are you?”

You almost laughed at that, but held it in.

“I’m not powerful, I’m untrained. Dangerous,” you added as you looked away from him.

One of the Shield agents had to be sedated when you’d made her feel too many things at once on accident. You weren’t sure how she was doing. 

Tony was still calibrating the new bracelet, but you wore it anyways. You just hoped...hoped it was enough. 

“I can help you. I’m skilled with mind control of stronger beings than humans.”

You fingered the bracelet you wore and thought about the Shield agent, your parents, all the people you’d influenced over the years that had bad results.

“I’ll think about it,” you said softly. Then you sighed. “I should go back to the lab. Tony will be looking for me.”

“Ah, yes, we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

You smiled and looked away. You weren’t sure you could handle for Loki to pick up on how charmed you were by him just then.

You really needed to get better at keeping your feelings a secret.

------

The lab was in disarray. You stumbled from where you’d fallen, the debris mostly away from you.

Even in his panic, Tony hadn’t hurt you. He’d flung himself as far away as he could, kept his robots from hurting you, but he’d nearly destroyed his lab in the process.

“Tony?”

It was quiet for a moment but then you heard a rasping breath. You climbed over a fallen stool and went to your knees next to where he was crumpled on the floor.

“Tony, are you...what can I do?”

He let out a gasp, his eyes on your face for a moment before they slammed shut tight.

“JARVIS, get Pepper,” you called out, unsure of what else to do. 

The mechanical voice said it would be a moment and then said that Miss Potts was on her way down. You slumped on the floor next to Tony, careful not to touch him.

Your anxiety about this test, about how long it had been since there had been any progress, had bled over to Tony. Only it was heightened somehow, the anxiety and worry causing a full blown flashback for him. You’d caught glimpses of it, almost-images of the wormhole and falling through the air.

It’s why you asked for Pepper. He hadn’t been able to talk to her before...before.

When she came in, she gave you an understanding look before she went to his side. Since he was being cared for, you got up and stumbled away from them. Your bracelet was still on the receiver so you grabbed it and hooked it on, grateful for the dullness you felt afterwards.

Then you left the lab. All you wanted to do was go to your rooms, to bury yourself under your blankets and wish it all away, but instead you headed in a different direction.

The room that Loki had been given was in the same hall as Thor, but you thought Thor was away on a mission with Steve and Sam. Loki’s door was shut, but when you raised your hand to knock, it came open.

“I need help.”

Loki came from across the room in a hurry, probably thinking you meant you were being chased. When he was sure the issue was less immediate, he nodded and met your eyes.

What he saw there made him let out a breath. He reached for you, slow so that you wouldn’t pull away. He unhooked the bracelet and set it to the side.

“This might be a bit uncomfortable,” he said softly as he raised his hands to your forehead.

In an instant you were no longer in the tower, no longer in New York. You were in your childhood bedroom, your mom helping you make your bed while your dad laughs at the two of you. It was such a distant memory, something you had forgotten.

As more and more of those happy memories come to the surface, you sense something from Loki. A bitter tang on your tongue. 

He had hoped that your childhood would have been like his. He had seen you and imagined that you’d been set apart as well. To see a loving, happy childhood had almost been a disappointment for him.

That faded away as the next memory appeared. He watched from your own eyes as your mother, in a rage not of her own, tried to kill your father. He sees your best friend yelling that she can’t trust you, teachers telling you that you can’t come to class, job and job firing you after only days.

He sees relationship after relationship burn hot and bright at first and then the horror sets in, the worry that they didn’t want you like you wanted them, the anger from them, the apathy. You felt it all in spirals, in such quick succession that embarrassment started to well up inside you.

“Shh, it’s alright,” he promised as he continued to dig inside your memories. “You’re not there. They don’t matter.”

There’s something like a tug and then suddenly, like a dam breaking, you're overwhelmed with emotions. They seem to come from every direction like the room is crowded.

You open your mouth to say his name, to ask him for help, but instead there’s nothing but darkness as you give in to the pain.

------

The medical wing is new to you. When you sit up, there’s a hand on your shoulder to help you ease up the rest of the way.

“It’s been two days,” Natasha says in a tone you can’t quite read. “Thought we were going to have to take turns kissing you, Snow White.”

“Thanks for…not doing that,” you said as you reached up to rub at your forehead.

Loki. You had been in his room, he was in your mind. He was trying to help you, going through your memories. There had been...oh the emotions you’d felt before you’d passed out.

“Where’s Loki?”

Natasha doesn’t say anything, just reached out to grab a cup of water from next to your bed. As she held it out to you, you pushed it away.

“Natasha, where’s Loki? Tell me.”

She sighed and put the cup down.

“Steve and Thor had him put into a holding cell for attacking you.”

You were shaking your head before she even finished.

“He didn’t though!”

A tablet was on the table. After a brief hesitation she grabbed it and navigated through a few things.

“Watch this and tell me he didn’t attack you.”

You watched the recording from his room. The two of you were in front of each other, his hands on your head. There didn’t seem to be anything at first but then you saw what looked like a surge of magic go from his hands to your head.

You shook your head as you rewound it and watched the same spot.

“I need to see him,” you said when you finally looked up at her. “Now, Natasha.”

Although she obviously didn’t want to let you, she gave you a nod. You were already in sweats for comfort while you were unconscious, so you just slid on some too big slippers and let her lead the way to the holding cells. 

Steve immediately raises his hands once you enter the hallway.

“What the hell Romanoff, I said–”

“Yeah, when’s the last time I listened to you,” Natasha snarked with a smirk. Then she gestured at you. “She wants to talk to him.”

Steve was just about to say no, but Thor came from down the hall with a frown.

“I think she should. I know what we saw, but we don’t understand it. It’s possible the only one that can understand it is her. Besides,” he added with a sly look in your direction, “Loki is on his best behavior when she’s around.”

You didn’t know how to take that, but thankfully it seemed to persuade Steve. He told you he’d buzz you into the cell once you were there. They had a camera so they’d see and hear everything and, if you needed it, could come and save you.

You really didn’t think you’d need it.

In the cell, Loki seemed different. He ignored you when you came in, just threw a ball against the wall and caught it over and over again.

You wished you could use your powers to read Asgardians as well as humans, but...wait.

There was nothing. From Natasha, from Steve, from the nurse who had released you. Usually you felt something, a low hum of their emotions, but there was nothing.

“The force of it was too much for you, but it’ll come back.” He caught the ball and let it rest beside him on the bench. “You felt too many emotions at once. Your mind was adapting to having mine in there when it happened and it overloaded.”

You nodded and sat down beside him, a few feet away just so that Steve wouldn’t bust in. You really didn’t need observers with this, but you knew you didn’t have a choice.

“It felt so weird. It was like I could feel the emotions of everyone in the tower at once.”

Loki looked over at you in surprise.

“In the tower? That was everyone in the city at once.” At your surprised look, he offered a smile. “I knew you were powerful when we first met, I just didn’t realize how powerful.”

You sighed and leaned back against the wall.

“Holy shit,” you breathed with another laugh. “No wonder I’ve been asleep for two days.”

And here you thought you couldn’t really surprise the God of mischief more than you already had.

“Two days? So that’s...why you haven’t come to set the record straight.”

Oh. Had he thought that you believed the story that he’d attacked you? Or did he just think that you were letting him suffer?

“Just woke up. Saw the video, heard you were down here, came to rescue you.”

He laughed at that, a sound that both surprised and pleased you.

“How do you feel?”

You thought about it. The emptiness in your head was blissful. So was the fact that you didn’t need to worry about making people feel your emotions.

“I hope it never comes back.”

His hand closed around yours and, with a gentle tug, he pulled you a little closer to him.

“You shouldn’t hope for that. The gifts you have don’t have to be a burden. You can learn to control them, learn to use them.” He smiled at you, his eyes locked on yours. “I said I knew you were powerful and I meant it. I could feel it in you.”

You rubbed a hand over your wrist where your bracelet usually sat.

“Maybe I should be the one in the holding cell.”

Loki’s face became more serious as he looked you over.

“It could happen one day.”

The memory of Tony curled up on his side after your influence made you think about what had happened in Loki’s room. Your mind had reached the entirety of the city. If you could push your influence that far…

“I have to…”

You didn’t bother saying more, just tore from the room in a rush. Steve was outside and he nodded when he met your eyes.

“We saw. We believe you. We’ll let him out.”

You nodded because that was good, but that wasn’t the only thing on your mind.

You needed to talk to Tony.

------

“You sure you don’t feel anything?” At your baleful look, Tony shrugged and looked back at the scan. “Your brain is unusually active.”

“I’ll try not to be offended,” you said with a laugh. 

Tony crossed over to where you sat. He looked good for a man who just a few days ago had been basically curled up under his table in a panic. And he had forgiven you for that.

“Make me feel something. Something small, please,” he added with a grin.

You drummed your fingers on the table for a moment before you nodded. Then you focused on Tony and a new feeling.

“God I could eat a cheeseburger,” he commented as his hand went to his stomach. “Wait. Was that it? Was that you?”

You started to smile but then you focused on him some more. There was surprise, under the surface, but you had to actually look for it. It didn’t come out of nowhere.

“I have control?”

Tony clapped his hands together. Then he reached out for your bracelet and tossed it into the trash can.

“It was a prototype anyways. We’ll get one together just in case, but I think we can say you’re off the bench for now.”

You laughed and tossed your arms around his neck.

“Thank you Tony.”

“Yeah, yeah, now let’s get something to eat. Seriously, I’m starving.”

------

A few days after his release, you found Loki in the library. He looked up as you entered as if he knew it was you.

Maybe he did.

“Thank you. Because of what you did, I have control now.”

“I know,” he said with a smile. “Thor said you’ll be going on a mission with them soon to celebrate.”

Yeah, you’d heard that as well. It was exciting, if a little daunting.

“It might do you some good to continue to train with me, if you wish. To perfect your talents.”

You smiled. Then you moved over to sit beside him. Now that you had control, you let your mind open to try to read him.

Silence. You frowned and tried again.

“Because of my powers, I can protect myself,” he said with a tap of his fingers to his temple, a grin on his lips. “I do appreciate the effort though.”

You laughed and looked down at your hands. Nervousness settled over you.

“I just thought if I could read your emotions, I could know if…”

If he was interested in you. If your feelings had influenced him at all.

“You could never influence me, I promise.”

You opened your mouth to ask how he knew that’s what you were thinking, but then you remembered. He’d been in your head. Besides seeing just how horrifically all of your past relationships had ended, he would have felt how you felt about him.

He was putting you at ease. Your nerves started to rise and either he could tell, or he just knew you that well already.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

You met his eyes and smiled, a little breathless as you thought about the possibilities. 

“Not uncomfortable. Just...nervous.”

He leaned in towards you, his grin nearly blinding until his lips met yours. 

You didn’t need to be nervous anymore.

X

Thanks for reading!

[spookylittletownhq]

A CECIL CROSS has arrived in Albion. While they may seem FAMILIAR, they are connected to the WESTERLY FOOTHILLS CROSSES. Their passport was stamped at Falls Inn and shows that they are THIRTY, SIX FOOT THREE INCHES, with DUSTY CHESTNUT HAIR and GRAY GREEN EYES. Mrs. Kuiper at the Inn said that they seemed FORGIVING and METHODICAL, though they were seen SMOKING A STRANGE SMELLING HERB FROM A THICKLY PACKED CIGAR as they departed St. Catharine’s Depot. Be wary, and report any sightings to Madame Lange’s Tea Room.

INTRODUCING CECIL CROSS

(This is in the voice of Cecil’s father, as he sends a prayer to the Heavens, as he asks for forgiveness for his son.)

Dear Heavenly Father, thou art in Heaven… please listen to my pleas, and hear my explanation of my son and his little deeds. 

When he was born, oh so small, in the dead of night, I wept on my knees as I am sure you remember well. Miriam and I, my wife, thought he wouldn’t make it to daybreak, with a heartbeat so faint and his limbs so fragile. For weeks, it seemed, each day was precious and un-promised, just as the last, but with your grace, he grew in strength. He was not named until his second moon had come & passed, for we feared to give him a name would be to lose more than we already would. 

Once our fears began to fade, small Cecil grew with rapid progression, and we have you to thank for this blessing, I know. He never stayed in bed during the nighttime, and would doze off in the most odd places during the day. Always in the garden, but careful not to trample the sprouting buds of flowers & vegetables. Miriam was quick to put a spade in his small fists, and from there, he blossomed. 

Though a strange child, small he didn’t quite remain, towering above the other children in the Valley by the age of ten. Then, I prayed to you, for he might find a friend, someone to run the dusty streets with and skin his knees climbing trees. I know you hear every word, but I fear most of my requests over these long, hard years have fallen on deaf ears. We have suffered, Lord, and struggled through our days. With no children following our little Cecil, it’s just me and my brothers in the fields, and he is of little use with a plow or a horse.

I fear I have been less of a father & more of a burden to Cecil, so for this, I ask for forgiveness as well. I did not foster & teach him in the ways of you, Lord, for I am regretful. He has snuck out of morning mass more times than I can count, and I fear sometimes he harbors an evil streak in his palms. Do not misunderstand, he is a miracle worker, and has cured more ailments with his funny little plants than I ever knew was humanly possible - but I wonder what it is exactly, to cause him to be so… odd. 

Childhood was simple enough for him, I suppose. We struggled with our funds, but his needs were met modestly, food on the table and a fire in the hearth. Cecil is not one to complain or want for grand things, and of this, I am grateful, for we never could have provided jewels and crumpets if he’d asked for it. Birthdays were unceremonious, a regret of mine yet… but he seemed happy, he seemed bright. 

Miriam wept in my arms the day Cecil decided to move along, make a name for himself in his own home, and had somehow purchased with funds I had no idea of a little beaten down cottage, just down the lane. I suppose now I took advantage of his nearness, too bitter that he was to abandon our farm to pursue his own apothecary of what I saw to be useless ointments & potions… perhaps yet, I was right. Perhaps yet, I should have asked you for more guidance, but it is too late. 

Not even two years passed, Cecil on his own, making deals in the night and tending to his covered gardens, the strange smoke always coming from his chimney… he was nineteen, I believe, when the Burton boy died. I mourned, of course, but thought not to pray to you, Lord, for protection… for sometimes, tragedy strikes. I had not realized what Cecil had done in those years, just shy of two, for the town. How much his reputation had grown, how much faith had become bestowed in his fingers. 

They whispered of hexes and magic and I would scoff and laugh. I never thought that so quick, they’d turn their back on my son, and he would disappear into the night. But, he fled, as the windows shuttered against him in the days following the Burton boy’s funeral. I can’t help but wonder why he ran; why he hadn’t been more careful, wonder what truly happened… 

It took a year for him to write to us, to inform us he had found a new home, almost twenty one now, and was tending a small, humble garden of his own. A ramshackle shop set up on a street corner on Saturday’s, he reported, was his source of income. He spoke nothing of lovers, or of friends, or of the future, or even of the past. The letters were short, and he was different; changed. Cecil had seen the true color of man, and how quickly you can lose their favor, and become a shell of what he’d been in the past.

When Miriam died, only five years after Cecil left, the letters stopped… until now. I lay here, Lord, sick and on my final days, but feeling assured that my son is coming home. I will be gone in your arms by the time the train stops in Albion, but Cecil has returned. 

I may never know why, but he says the moon spoke to him, and has called him home. He says he is bored of the mundane, and he misses the smell of the Valley’s Earth, of the energy running in the roots of the trees. I think he has gone a bit mad, but then again… so have I. 

I pray you forgive his misdeeds, I pray he is welcomed, and I pray he is not alone when he steps off the train and onto that platform. Send someone to guide him, as you have me, for a son without his father is a lost man indeed. 

Amen.

—

Welcome to the valley! Please send in your account within 24 hours. 💚

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝙲𝚑𝚘𝚒 𝚂𝚊𝚗

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, justifying, encouraging nor trying to romanticize or promote yandere behavior. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Mentions of toxic relationship, violence, torture, murder, death, degradation, sexual scenes that might disturb some readers, and other yandere behavior. Read at your own discretion.

Tag list: @seacottons

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 :

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝙲𝚑𝚘𝚒 𝚂𝚊𝚗

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙹𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝟷𝟶𝚝𝚑, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟿

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟽𝟻 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟻'𝟿 𝙵𝚃

𝙰𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■□90%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■■100%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝙳𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

•𝚂𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕 𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚖.

•𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚟𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛.

•𝚄𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝙱𝙳𝚂𝙼 𝚜𝚎𝚡𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚙𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜.

•𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚍.

•𝙼𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚗𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜.

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It was his sweet and innocent smile...

That's how it always starts with him.

Everyone falls victim to that smile that radiates happiness with dimples that captivate your heart.

But he never chases anyone down.

San wants them to chase him, so he plays hard to get.

And he's not looking for a relationship, he just enjoys hooking up with people.

No strings attached, no commitments, his booty call list is miles long.

And then you came along.

What was it about you that drew Choi San to you?

Was it your pure and intact body?

Was it your curious and inexperienced eyes that begged for excitement and adventure?

Perhaps a mix of both aspects?

Whatever it was, the day you crossed paths with San, was the day you crossed paths with the devil himself.

"Hi. I'm San....pleasure to meet you."

San's first goal with you was just to get in your pants like he did with the rest.

But you weren't easy, and when he found out you were a virgin, the goal changed.

Now he wanted you.

He became obsessed with owning everything about you: your mind, body, heart, and soul.

He wanted it all and he'd get it no matter the cost.

So he plays the sweet caring boyfriend for a while.

Yes, Choi San was exclusively yours, much to the shock and disappointment of others.

As a boyfriend, he was very caring to you.

Perfect gentleman that held you in high esteem and made you feel like you were the most important person in the world.

You truly fell deeply and madly in love with his charms.

So you had no qualms about letting him take your virginity, letting him be your first.

After all, he did love you.....right?

Well he did love corrupting you.

And after your first night together, he became more demanding and started showing aggressiveness towards you.

He'd never hide his displeasure if he saw you wearing something he didn't like.

"Why are you wearing that in public? You look like a whore."

He'd make you tell him your every move about where you went and with whom.

And if you didn't answer or reply to his messages, he'd somehow always find you.

"Why the fuck weren't you answering me? When I talk to you, I demand an answer."

And if there was a particular thing he absolutely hated, was your male friend that you often saw.

"I don't want you hanging out with that friend of yours."

"He's my childhood friend? He's like my brother. " You told him.

San just glared at you. "I don't care. I don't want you hanging out with him. That's final."

You rolled your eyes at him and thought he was just being jealous.

It was wrong of you to disobey him.

Next time he came over to your house, you were there with your friend...

If that scene alone didn't make San angry, the fact you were wearing a very thin tank top and revealing shorts made him get rigid.

"I thought I fucking told you never to see him again!" He screamed at you, striking fear in you at the way he raised his voice.

Your friend, however, wasn't scared of San and decided it would be good to stand up to your possessive and controlling boyfriend.

"You need to leave Y/N alone. She doesn't deserve to deal with someone like you."

Grabbing your hand, your friend tried to take you away from there, but San wasn't having it.

Roughly, he gripped your arm and pulled you away from your friend, placing you behind him.

"She's not yours to decide what to do. She's mine. Got it?"

Your friend wasn't going to give in that easily. He shoved San which culminated in fists flying from both of them.

"Stop! Stop it! Both of you!" You begged, covering your eyes at the violent scene.

They ended up in the kitchen, with your friend gaining the upper hand and holding San down against the counter.

It all happened too fast for you to react:

San grabbing a knife which was withing his reach, coming up and striking your friend in his lower abdomen....

And it didn't stop there.

San took out the knife and began to repeatedly stab him until his body collapsed on the floor, completely lifeless.

You were in such shock you couldn't find your own voice to scream for help.

The last thing you saw was San's diabolical eyes looking at you, his footsteps getting closer to you before you passed out from shock and the intensity of what you just witnessed.

You woke up approximately 12 hours later, feeling sore and somewhat sticky.

You let out a mix between a whine and a moan when you feel something very familiar sliding in and out of you.

Turning your head, you're met with a smirking San, his hands on your hips as his cock thrusts deep inside of you.

Looking down, you notice your hands are bound by handcuffs that are tied to the bed.

You jostled the handcuffs, trying to get them off you but were met with a harsh slap to your ass by San.

"Don't you dare." Was his only warning before snapping his hips even harder, making you come all over him in mere seconds.

For the first few days, he kept you handcuffed to his bed, refusing to let you go.

"If I let you go, you'll try to run away. I can't have you doing that."

So your days consisted of waking up with San next to you, having him feed you things which you swore had something in them since you always ended up feeling drowsy afterwards.

And of course having him fuck you like you were his personal sex toy every single night.

Finally one day, he removed the handcuffs from you.

"Try to run away and I will break your ankles."

He often had to leave the house for work, so the first day you were left to wander around, you stupidly tried to check if any windows or doors were left unlocked.

But they weren't. They were all bolted in and out.

And San walked in just in time to see you try to smash open one of the windows.

"Seriously?! I give you a simple order and you disobey me?!"

You ended up not being able to walk for 6 weeks because San was true to his word: he broke your ankles.

Now you were deathly scared of pissing him off.

So you tried your best to just please him, do whatever he asked you to do.

Whether it'd be cooking him food, cleaning the house, sucking him off or letting him do any of his depraved sexual acts on your body.

The only request you actually enjoy doing for him is when he asks you to cuddle up next to him.

Feeling his chest move up and down, hearing his heartbeat while his hand strokes your hair, you think maybe.....just maybe.....there's still a hint of the sweet man you met at first, the one you fell in love with..

But that image is quickly shattered whenever he pushes you off him or strikes you across the face because you 'glared at him or rolled your eyes at him.'

And you can't even cry in front of him because it just angers him even more.

Once, he held a pillow over your face so as to muffle your annoying little whimpers.

And another time he almost drowned you in the bathtub.

Sometimes you really did wish he'd end your misery.

As the days passed by, it was getting harder and harder to deal with his violent mood swings.

Nothing was ever good enough for him, and if anyone from the outside world angered him, you were the one who had to bear the punishment.

Either in the form of harsh beatings or so many overstimulations.

"San...." You whined, tears falling out of your eyes as your body couldn't handle another orgasm.

San merely slapped your swollen and red pussy, making you hiss at the stinging pain.

"I'm not done with you yet my little slut. This dirty hole of yours belongs to me and I'll fuck it as many times as I want to." He growled in your ear.

You were often left limping for a day or two, while San merely snickered under his breath, proud of himself for ruining you yet again.

With how much sex he was making you two have it surprised you how you never ended up pregnant, considering that he always went in raw with you.

Your question was answered one day when your period came late and it was excruciatingly painful.

You were bleeding more heavily than usual and it felt like your guts were being ripped apart.

San took you to the hospital, warning you not to say anything.

It's not like you could anyway, you were in so much pain and under heavy medication that you never got the chance to say anything.

Especially not when San took you home early so you wouldn't get the chance.

"What happened? What did they do to me?"

Grudgingly, San handed over the hospital papers to you.

You felt like you lost the ability to breathe when you read that it was necessary for them to remove your uterus since it had been severely damaged by some weird chemical substance.

"I don't understand! I've never taken anything! Have I?!"

San only blinked at you, then looked down and walked away from you.

That's when it hit you: every time he made food, and you always ended up feeling weird.....

San had been altering with your own body all this time!

You were beyond disgusted, you were repulsed and you hit your breaking point.

Something in you snapped as you marched up to San and pushed him into the wall, demanding to know why he would do that.

"So you wouldn't get pregnant! If you had gotten pregnant, I would have had to be soft to you. I wasn't going to do that." He admitted that so casually, as if there was nothing wrong in the way he treated you.

And that was it for you, the last straw of your sanity left as you slapped San harshly across the face.

Of course he retaliated, but you weren't going to give in so easily.

Using whatever strength you had left, you tried to fight him off, even going as far as breaking a vase over his head, which rendered him immobile for a while.

You ran to the basement, and picked up a can of gasoline and a couple of matches.

Running back inside, you spilled the contents all around the hallway, the living room and in the dreaded bedroom that you loathed with every fiber of your being.

Then you struck up a match and let it fall, watching as part of the house burst up in flames.

You went to a part of the house that you left intact, where there was a window.

Picking up a baseball bat, the same one San had used to break your ankles, you tried to break it open, succeeding only in cracking it...

Before a pair of bloody arms pulled you back and dragged you deeper into the burning part of the house.

You struggled to get out of his grip, but he was much stronger than you and the black fumes that you were inhaling were only debilitating you more.

The last thing you remember was San glaring at you, wrath written all over his face as he said his final words to you:

"If I'm going to hell, I'm dragging you down with me...."

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[radioactivepeasant]

Fic Prompts: Star Wars Wednesday

Loosely based on a really wacky dream I had sometime last week. It seems to have been a bizarre reworking of The Force Awakens, but I really liked some elements of it lol

Nobody escaped the stormtrooper program. They drilled that into him over and over. It was one of his first clear memories, being shown what happened to "deserters". Faulty troopers went to reconditioning. Deserters went to "decommissioning". They'd learned that from Kamino, apparently.

Nobody escaped from the stormtrooper program. But that didn't mean FN-2187 wasn't determined to try.

Something was calling him, urging him to act. He didn't know what it was -- a memory? Instincts? -- but somehow he knew that if he stayed in the bunkers for one more year, his life would be in danger. That was why, as soon as his platoon were declared to be fifteen years of age in a deadpan announcement of duties, FN-2187 volunteered to take part in a scouting mission to a mining world they were supposedly going to negotiate with.

Phasma praised his initiative. That had been happening more since his last marksmanship tests, he'd noticed. Somehow, he always knew when her eyes were on him. It was like being watched by a hungry Krayt dragon.

FN had never seen a Krayt dragon. He couldn't remember where he'd heard of it. His bunkmates thought he was making it up until he'd showed them in data surveillance lessons. Maybe he'd learned about them in the time Before? When he was still with the man with kind eyes and the woman who laughed so warmly?

FN wished he could remember more of their faces than that.

[[MORE]]

On the mining world, he was the perfect cadet. Instantly responding to orders, quick to point out possible ambush sites if the miners felt inclined to violence. He conducted himself as if he had an eye on ascending through the ranks, like some of his peers. And all the while, that mysterious "voice" called to him, as if it was telling him to watch for something, or to be ready.

The boy saw his opportunity when the party crossed a narrow bridge to meet the ombudsmen. There was nothing beneath it but a deep, craggy, chasm. And conveniently, no safety rails on the bridge. It was almost too easy to stage the accident: he'd made sure he was standing next to FN-TR8R, a boy who resented the attention FN-2187 was getting from the officers. TR8R was just jealous enough to do the occasional stupid thing like shove fellow cadets when officers' backs were turned. Banking on this, FN pretended to worry about the bridge and edged closer to his fellow scout.

He was absolutely terrified, he didn't have to fake that. Nobody escaped the stormtrooper program. Nobody! If he didn't get smashed to pieces on the rocks below, he'd be executed for sure! But if he just kept his head down and marched on, he feared he would lose more than his few childhood memories.

TR8R made a barely audible scoff and shoved FN away from him. Security footage would later show the smaller boy flail once, then disappear over the ledge. TR8R would claim he'd slipped.

FN knew good and well he shouldn't have survived that fall. But as he plunged past the support pillars, he just...stopped.

He hadn't landed, he just wasn't falling anymore. He was floating in midair, staring down at wickedly sharp rocks. FN thought of propaganda footage of Kylo Ren, launching enemies through the air with the Force, and fear gripped him. Had he been caught? Was Ren here?

Slowly, he was lifted back up a few feet by unseen hands. They pulled him up onto a ledge on the middle support pillar and dropped him gently onto cold stone.

"Finn Finn!" said a tiny voice.

FN-2187 slowly looked up, afraid of what he might see.

Crouching in front of his face was a very small being with long, pointed ears. His eyes were wide and expressive, and a huge smile covered his face. He pointed a tiny, gloved, hand at the boy and said again, "Finnnn!"

"What?" a second voice, much deeper, responded.

FN sat up quickly to find himself staring straight into the eye slit of a Mandalorian helmet. The Mandalorian was in the middle of planting detonation charges on the bridge supports, and he seemed to be staring at FN.

"Buir! Buir, das Finn!" the green child squeaked happily, "Oooh, Finn a big 'ad now!"

The Mandalorian immediately crouched beside his tiny companion. "Kid, you can't be serious. That's a First Order cadet."

"No!" the child -- he sounded like a preschooler -- argued, pinning his ears back, "No no no! Das Finn! Fee fi fo fay finnnnn!"

"Grogu, this better be a Force thing. There is absolutely no other reason for you to know a Junior Stormtrooper's name."

"Um." FN flinched as the two turned to look at him. "I don't...know who Finn is. But...can you help me?"

Mandalorians and the First Order hated each other, right? The tugging at FN's soul seemed to be pointing straight to the man in beskar and the little green guy in makeshift armor. They had to be able to help him! They were sabotaging the bridge, for crying out loud!

"We have a job to do," the Mandalorian said bluntly.

"I- I can help!" FN said impulsively. "Just please, take me with you! I need a way off this planet!"

The Mandalorian tilted his helmet slightly, and FN sensed that he was being stared at again. After a three second eternity, the armored man nodded.

"Hand me those charges. Grogu will keep you from falling. If you try to double-cross us, it won't end well for you."

The wave of relief that hit FN almost brought him to tears. "You won't regret it!" he stammered, "I promise!"

A little uncomfortable, the Mandalorian patted his shoulder. "Uh...okay, kid. Let's just finish up so we can get out of here."

The First Order enforcers were about to be in for a rude surprise.

[exmortia]

Shadowgast soulmate ficlet: Found Familiars

Essek/Caleb soulmate AU where a wizard’s familiar manifests from a fragment of their soul, but if they have a soulmate, the familiar comes from their soulmate’s soul instead. Regular D&D familiar mechanics don’t apply here except for pocket dimension poofing and un-poofing. Rated T for someone almost dying.

Like every student at the Soltryce Academy, the time finally comes when Bren learns how to summon a familiar.

It’s a week-long elective course he wasn’t planning on taking yet, preferring to focus his current semester on the fundamentals of magic, but Eadwulf is the first of their friend group to enroll, and he walks into the dorms next week with a raven perched on his shoulder. It becomes a nearly permanent addition to his friend, large and jet-black, with a deceptively strong beak and eyes filled with confidence and intelligence. Eadwulf spends the next few days answering the same standard question from their peers and teachers - “no, it’s mine.”

Astrid borrows Eadwulf’s notes on the spell and summons her own familiar not long after, a razor-eyed falcon that never stops scanning their surroundings and quietly observing anyone within range. Bren is only a little disappointed when she says “it’s mine, I can tell.” He knows, like everyone else, that soulmates are rare.

Soon it’s his turn, and his friends are making good-natured jokes about what form his familiar will take. They’re hoping for another bird just for the irony of it. “Maybe an owl,” Astrid says with a smile. They make bets. Eadwulf puts ten silver on a songbird, and Astrid puts twenty on a bird of prey.

Bren performs the ritual that night in the privacy of his room. As the incense drifts into the air, he secretly hopes for a feline companion, like the one he knew in childhood. Something soft and warm, curled up in his lap and welcoming him back to his room after a long day of classes. He keeps his eyes closed until the spell completes. 

When he looks down, there’s an unexpected shape on his desk, like a scarf dropped lengthwise into a pile. Then it begins to move, glinting with iridescent color in the candlelight as its body slides and shifts on itself, and then he recognizes the creature when a rounded head emerges, tongue flicking out to taste the air in his direction. 

“A snake?” he whispers to himself, confused and disappointed. Where he’d hoped for fur (or even feathers in retrospect), he sees shiny black scales like an inkspill across his desk where the light doesn’t hit. There are no emotions in its tapered face and round, lidless eyes. When the initial shock wears off, he takes a moment to focus and reach for his connection with it, hoping that what he finds is a reflection of himself, just like what his friends have, but what greets him is a feeling so new and foreign that he can’t lie to himself anymore.

Bren dismisses the familiar in a moment of panicked shame. He spends the night agonizing over what he’ll say to his friends and what their reactions will be. “It’s not mine,” he whispers to himself, dreading the moment when he’ll say it to them in person tomorrow. “I don’t know whose it is, but it isn’t mine.”

“You have a soulmate,” Astrid will say with a small, tight smile, the words neutral on the surface, but there’s a guarded expression in her eyes. Bren can only nod in reply, feeling like he’s wronged her somehow, as Eadwulf inspects the coiled snake presented to them in Bren’s outstretched hands.

“I’m sure it will come in handy,” he declares, trying to soothe Bren’s worries the only way he knows how. Astrid agrees, and the tension passes as they walk to their first class of the day. Bren considers dismissing his familiar again, but then he looks longingly at the companions perched on his friends and carefully tucks the serpent into the neck of his shirt beneath his robe. Its cool weight settles across his shoulders, the movement a slow, shifting pressure that feels good in the summer heat and even better when he’s working through a difficult assignment later.

Bren doesn’t find out until a few weeks later that his familiar is dangerous. An altercation with another classmate leads to him being shoved against a wall, the other boy’s grip twisted into the front of his robe with one hand while the other pulls back for a swing at Bren’s face, and suddenly there’s a blur of motion and the boy is stumbling back with a pair of tiny red dots on his chin. He almost dies right there on the floor, lips blue and foaming at the mouth, before one of the professors is drawn to the shouting of gathered students. Bren is instructed, under threat of expulsion, to keep his familiar dismissed while in the presence of others.

Ten years ago and hundreds of miles away, Essek Thelyss stands in his laboratory, blinking incredulously at the small, furry creature that has manifested in front of him. The trouble with being a wizard of a long-lived race who can’t summon a familiar is that you don’t know whether your soulmate has already died or just hasn’t been born yet. Essek didn’t think he needed a familiar, particularly, but he’d gotten into the habit of trying the spell once every few years when he remembered, partly because it stung to be an accomplished wizard who couldn’t summon one, and also because he secretly hoped that his soulmate, the one chosen for him by The Weave itself, had not already departed this world.

He’d lost count of the attempts, but it was somewhere between twenty and twenty-three when the spell finally worked, much to his surprise. His new familiar, with its striped orange fur and long tail curled neatly around its legs, sat on his ritual table and looked back at him with eyes that glinted in the low, ambient light. ‘My soulmate is alive out there,’ Essek thought with a relief he would never admit to, reaching out to stroke the cat’s soft fur as it stretched and began exploring the table, then his workbench, and then anywhere it could possibly get into.

In his youth, Essek had hoped for a more suitable familiar - something that could blend in, yet contribute to his image as a formidable spellcaster, like a snake or a spider, but he’d grown accustomed to not having one. His new feline companion becomes a sort of household pet. It’s not physically affectionate beyond the occasional rub against his legs. Mostly, it prefers to sit elsewhere in the room and watch him work from a distance. When he trances, it patrolls the halls and kills any small, unfortunate animal that dares enter his home. He wonders about the sort of person his soulmate might be, to have their soul reflected in this mindful, intelligent, and often ruthless creature.

One night, a little over ten years after he first summoned his familiar, Essek returns from his work at the Lucid Bastion and begins going about his routine, only to find that his familiar is nowhere to be found. He wonders if something has happened to make it decorporealize, like accidentally toppling a heavy object onto itself (unlikely), or maybe it had gotten outside somehow and didn’t care to return yet (a common recurring event). His familiar had changed over the past few months, becoming even more standoffish and less receptive to physical touch than before, so Essek doesn’t worry about its absence until the following day, when his familiar is still nowhere to be found. Before using his components to repeat the summoning ritual, he decides to make a quick search of his tower, and there, crouched in the furthest corner beneath a display cabinet in an unused room, his familiar stares back at him with wide, unblinking eyes. 

When Essek reaches for his companion, its sudden, piercing, feline scream sends him pitching backwards in shock, until he’s on the floor and his familiar has left behind a series of long scratch marks where it fled. Essek is shaken for the few moments he sits there, confused, and then later, deeply concerned for someone he’s never met before. 

This state of mind becomes normal for Essek over the next eleven years. His familiar is a ghost, hiding and wedging itself under furniture and bursting from its hiding spot in a terrified, screaming bolt of fur and claws when Essek unknowingly gets too close. Sometimes he goes weeks without catching sight of it, but Essek finds himself too sentimental to dismiss his former companion. He fears for the source of his familiar’s soul fragment, whoever this person is, and whatever it was that must have happened to them to cause this.

Hundreds of miles away and a few months later, Bren, now Caleb, accepts a torn-off piece of stolen bread from his new goblin companion, and hundreds of miles away, Essek’s familiar creeps out from beneath the workbench in his lab and slinks out of the room, but not before making brief eye contact with Essek, who stares back in disbelief with a set of alchemical reagents forgotten in his hands. 

A few weeks later, after being roughed up and chased out of town again, Caleb remembers his silent protector from his school days, and Nott watches with fascination as a black snake appears in Caleb’s hands with a snap of his fingers. Nott’s fascination turns to concern as he spends a long moment staring at it, drowning in the memory of those days at the academy before he and his friends caught Trent Ikithon’s eye. Later that evening, Nott asks to hold his familiar, and Caleb worries for a moment, but it allows itself to be handed over, and Nott must constantly adjust her grip as its body moves and slips between her fingers. 

“I think he prefers his master,” she says kindly, and although Caleb hadn’t cared to gender his familiar, the pronoun rings true somehow. Caleb accepts the snake from her and tucks it back into the neck of his coat where its cool, comforting weight helps quiet his intrusive thoughts.

It takes a few more months before Essek can run his fingers through his familiar’s striped fur again. Progress has been slow, but steady, and Essek is relieved not just for his familiar, but for the unnamed soul attached to it. 

Things eventually return to the way they were before, and then continue to change. His familiar becomes his shadow, dutifully following him into every room of his tower. Where before it would perch out of arm’s reach to watch him work, now it walks across the paperwork on his desk and jumps into his lap and demands attention, before it’ll curl up and allow him to keep working. It’s an adjustment compared to what he’s used to, but there’s a weight lifted from his shoulders when he thinks about his soulmate now. At least, most of the time. His familiar refuses to leave his home and still vanishes for hours when he gets visitors, even when they remain on his doorstep and converse with him briefly through the open door.

The day comes when a group of strangers walk into the Lucid Bastion. Even among the chaos that follows, Essek’s attention is drawn, inexplicably, to one of their group - a surprisingly well-spoken human with copper-colored hair and pink, freckled skin, covered in mud and Luxon knows what else. 

Caleb, dressed in nothing but leather straps, had dismissed his snake familiar out of necessity back in Asarius. When the situation in the Bright Queen’s throne room eventually dies down, his attention is drawn to a figure sitting near the dias, imposing in equal measure to the other high-ranking drow around them, but something about this individual catches his attention and keeps it indefinitely. 

Later, when he and the Nein are free to wander Rosohna, Caleb decides not to risk going about with his venomous, spring-coiled companion for now, just in case there’s a misunderstanding with the locals or the guards. 

Essek has his work cut out for him, and these new people don’t stay strangers for long. Despite his frustration at their behavior (often disrespectful and almost always culturally inappropriate), he finds himself responding eagerly to their requests for help when needed. When he sees them, his attention is always drawn first to their wizard, Caleb Widogast, and when he teaches Caleb that first dunamantic spell, it’s a challenge to monitor Caleb’s attention to the correct page of Essek’s spellbook, rather than Caleb himself. Everything about this human man, from the way he murmurs to himself while he works, to how he wrings his hands together during tense conversations, to the purely unexpected talent and raw power in the spells he demonstrates, has captivated Essek over the time he’s spent with these newcomers.

Caleb quietly scolds himself whenever the Shadowhand catches him staring. He’s not accustomed to being around dark elves, and even after the novelty wears off, something about their assigned handler, his new and unexpectedly generous teacher in the dunamantic arts, is drawing his attention and thoughts like an arcane compulsion. Caleb carefully keeps this to himself, not wanting to jeopardize their tenuous position in Roshona or the Shadowhand’s willingness to share his knowledge.

Eventually, as the weeks pass and their relationship with Essek grows out of familiarity and Jester’s brute force method of making friends, the Nein are invited to the Shadowhand’s tower for breakfast and the promise of some collaborative spellwork.

Caleb is regrettably late to the event as he makes a detour to find spell supplies, not wanting to impose on their host any more than necessary. When he arrives, there’s an awkward, semi-private moment where Essek answers the door and greets him. Then he’s led further inside where the others are gathered around a large table, and there’s a weird sort of prickling in the back of his mind as he enters the room. Fjord and Beau are talking and leaning against the table while the others are seated in a small group on the opposite side, except for Jester who is kneeling on the floor and talking to someone or something in a high-pitched voice.

A moment later, Jester makes a sad sound and watches Essek’s familiar slip out from under her hands to go trotting across the floor towards its master, or so she thinks. The cat’s gait breaks into a run, and she gasps as Caleb suddenly falls to his knees, his expression that of a mother who’s been searching all day for their missing child as the cat jumps into his arms. Essek’s familiar must be super friendly with other wizards, she thinks, until she sees the startled look on their host’s face. ‘This is the first time in many years that my familiar has not hidden itself from visitors,’ she remembers him saying as they arrived at the tower, and then he coaxed the cat towards them after she asked if she could pet it, which it accepted with mild, friendly interest. Now Caleb is clutching at its orange striped fur as it rubs against his face over and over again, purring loud enough for everyone to hear, and she’s not sure, but it looks like he might be crying a little.

Caleb carefully stands with the cat cradled in one arm, its outstretched paws making biscuits in the air. He reaches out towards Essek, and there’s a small flash of arcane magic before Caleb’s serpentine familiar appears there, balanced in a tight knot of coils in his upturned hand. Essek stares at it, motionless, until the snake begins to move, its body quickly sliding away from its master and into the space between Essek and Caleb, apparently not caring if it falls before it’s caught. 

Essek reaches out with both hands to meet the snake’s trajectory, and soon the familiar is wrapped around Essek’s forearm, coiled tightly in place like a permanent fixture. Essek lifts his arm and stares into its eyes, carefully running his fingers across the black, iridescent scales with a gentle reverence.

“He’s yours,” Caleb chokes out in joyful tears, knowing but not caring that his friends are watching with a combination of amusement and concerned looks. “I always wondered, but I never dared hope . . .” Caleb clears his throat as Essek stares at him, the drow’s expression hard to read. “He, uh, likes to be up high, around your neck, where he can, um . . . he’s v-venomous by the way. I had to learn that. From experience. But he is a good snake, a very good snake,” Caleb insists as more tears threaten to wet his face. In Caleb’s arms, his new familiar trills and then purrs louder, satisfied, when he bends down to nuzzle his face into its wonderful, beautiful orange fur.

Essek makes a quick decision not to ask about what happened to his feline familiar over that eleven-year period. Maybe later when they’re comfortable and alone. For now, he admires his snake companion, the subtle magical thread of connection between master and familiar already transitioned, painlessly, from old to new. He feels whole and complete, and not just from finding his true familiar. Essek’s affection is quiet and immeasurable as he meets Caleb’s overjoyed grin with his own soft smile.

“Thank you for this,” is all Essek can say without his voice breaking. Later, after Caleb’s friends have staged a friendly interrogation about what happened and what it means for two wizards to exchange familiars (and after he’s taken Caleb’s advice and tucked his new companion into the neck of his robe where it fits perfectly), he’ll take Caleb upstairs, his former familiar dutifully following its new master, and spend a few hours alone with his soulmate. At the end of trading stories about their lives and hardships and hopes for the future, he’ll hold the human’s face in his hands and take the first step towards sealing their bond with a kiss.

[bunny9girl]

Shanks/Usopp/Ace x abusive reader.s/o

Warning: Kissing, abuse, Nyctophobia, claustrophobia, sexual abuse, little nsfw!

Thanks for the request Omega-ish

Hope you enjoy❤

Portgas D. Shanks 🍺

🍺The Four Emperors are the four most dangerous and powerful pirate captains in the world. 

🍺And yes Shanks is one of them, and on top of that his a alpha.

🍺His a strong, passionate and brave man.

🍺Just by looks others might get the wrong idea thinking his cocky high ego and rude

🍺And you'd think a man like that only bat an eye for the most high class omegas, only to get in their pants.

🍺Buttttt!!!! NO

🍺Shanks is none of that, his a free spirit loving childlike man, Shanks is an extremely laid-back, preferring to take his time he doesn't rush things

🍺The first time he met his s/o...

🍺You sorta snuck on board his ship, it didn't take long for one of the crew to surprisingly find you.

🍺At first you didn't talk to him nor look him in his eyes, for your own sake you were too scared.

🍺So he let you be

🍺But couldn't ignored the way you looked, torn clothes, dirty skin, bruised and heavily scarred skin, messy hair and life drained eyes.

🍺It made him sick to the core. Just by looking at you he knew you went through horrible things

🍺He doesn't dare speak up, he doesn't want to remind you of those horrible things.

🍺As time went on

🍺Multiple times a day he goes below deck giving you something to eat and drink, than chat your ears off.

🍺He'd tell you about his many adventures, all the islands he been too how he met each of his crew, he even dig out the most personal things like how he lost his arm and how he got the three scars over his eye. With many more stories.

🍺It made you happy hearing them all feeling free with this red hair man, he made you smile laugh talk and sead tears of happiness, since you met him

🍺He even gave you a name. A place to belong and protected you, he thought you how to defend yourself and be badass. You learned how to read, write, cooking much much more

🍺He became your Alpha and claimed you as his omega, forming a strong bond connecting your hearts and souls forever.

🍺It made you glad that you snuck aboard his ship.

🍺Dispense having a new life living it to the fullest. Your heart is still scarred.

🍺Your fear came to life again when The Red Force docked at the same island you escaped from the first time you snuck on Shanks ship.

🍺Your alpha is the first to know your distress.

🍺But you chose to lie and tell him your okay, even though he didn't believe you he still You made sure to stuck to his side 24/7.

🍺It made him happy that you seek comfort from him but also placed him on high alert.

🍺Yes Shanks knows why you don't wanna be here and he makes sure this is only a quick restock in and out.

🍺Not staying for a drink or party.

🍺It was hard for you too open up to him but he was sure to listen to every word that left your mouth.

🍺(Any person of your choice) they where horrible people, using omegas for slavery abusing them to the breaking point, once brought the omega can be used for anything of the owners choice.

🍺All the torture and pain you felt locked up in a cage days ends night ends.

🍺It made Shanks furious and angry, but he knows that he couldn't do anything what has been done can't be un done

🍺All he could do is comfort you, purr in your ear brushing away your tears.

🍺From then you knew he'd always be yours heart body and soul

🍺Give you anything.

🍺And everything.

🍺But the tables turned quickly when you and him ran into (Any person of your choice) the person who abused Shanks omega for years.

🍺In anger (Any person of your choice) tried to lure you back to them, while you quiver behind Shanks hiding in his cape, he could feel your smaller from trembling pressing your face in his thoracic spine and hands gripping his shirt.

🍺He could smell the change in your scent it wasn't sweet or loving anymore it was replaced with (Displeased smell of your choice), it made his inner alpha very protective of you.

🍺Now Shanks isn't the kind of man that would turn to violence and rudeness in this kind of situations.

🍺At was at this point the guy came near you two wanting to rip you off your alpha, but didn't go to well for him when Shanks Haoshoku Haki hit him, (Any person of your choice) drop to the ground knocked out.

🍺it was no surprise that Shanks s/o wasn't affected, they're strong but there are some fears that can leave a person trembling and hopeless

🍺But none less Shanks will protect his omega. Even if you cower in fear.

***

Usopp (Sniper King)🏹

🏹Personally you hate alphas, and because of that Luffy had a hard time getting you to join his crew, 90% of the crew is alpha's

🏹But you joined anyway

🏹When Usopp first met his s/o he like any other saw you pretty strong confidence and level headed, but being a great liar like himself he could see the fake smile

🏹He decided to just stay out of it. But he couldn't help but wanting to get closer to you, get to know you and enjoy time with you

🏹First of all you really like Usopp ever since you step foot on Marry, he was funny goofy and outspoken brave

🏹And you like him so much that you'd even back him up in a fight, he's a real cute beta

🏹Yes, you read that right... Usopp s/o thought that he was a beta, he doesn't necessarily act like an alpha he has no confidence high pride or cocky ego.

🏹Blindly with the idea of him being a beta, made you grew closer to him, forming a great friendship making everlasting memories and moments

🏹At a point you confessed your feelings and he accepted them making you the happiest omega alive.

🏹It made him happy too

🏹But you two haven't mated/marked each other yet. It doesn't mean you haven't created a unbreakable bond

🏹But you also haven't told him about your childhood and what happened, not ready to dig out all the pain and suffering

🏹That was until you two got separated from the others trying to get back to the Thousand Sunny and crew

🏹Somehow you guys docked at the wrong island, with a flesh eating gigantic snake living on it.

🏹And Yes... it was currently chasing Usopp and his s/o though the forest.

🏹"Run run run! Its going to eat us!" Usopp cried dragging his s/o along with him running for thier lives

🏹Well you see the both of you would've easily beaten the crab out of the thing.. if ya didn't leave your weapons on the Sunny.

🏹Luckily for you, Usopp spotted a old mine tunnel in your path of crisis without thinking he rushed you two in.

🏹Now here's the thing-

🏹When Usopp's s/o where a child they where sold off to a group of mountain bandits and they didn't treat their "item" with care, they locked you up in a cage and tortured you for days whipping you breaking you down mentally and physically and on special days they shut you in a box and shove you into darkness

🏹You develop claustrophobia and Nyctophobia, which wasn't good you have been able to avoid them for long

🏹But in this situation it brought up both.

🏹The tunnel was blocked with a death end and you two took too many turns you couldn't see the daylights anymore along with the place being small for two people.

🏹The little light Usopp managed to make wasn't working well for you.

🏹Your breath became heavier the walls felt like their closing in, your heart beat filled your ears beating faster and faster, your body paralyzed your vision somehow became blurry.

🏹You were having a panic attack before you knew it.

🏹"(Y/n) babe. What's wrong?" Usopp caught on real quick smelling the change in your scent and hearing soft whimpers leave your lips as tears stream down your face.

🏹It made the alpha in him click taking control, crouching down in front of you taking your hands into his

🏹His scent reaching you for the first time it was so strong and powerful the purr from him calmed your body and mind.

🏹His alpha reaching out for your omega the first time ever, you saw the thing you hate with passion and Usopp was one of them

🏹But different you knew him for a long time and shared so much with him, his nothing like them he genuinely loved care protect you without expecting anything in return.

🏹Calming you and scenting you the best of his ability.

🏹Not thinking at all you told him in a broken voice with tears about your phobias and the abuse you suffered as a child.

🏹Opening up your most venerable side.

🏹He truly felt connected to you finally broke your walls, without trying.

🏹He continue to comfort you telling you silly stories and making you giggle here and there.

🏹While you both waited for the others to find you, it didn't take long

🏹That night he made sure to claim you as his, marking you and all promise to protect you and help you overcome your fears

🏹He even accepted you as you are.

***

Portgas D. Ace🔥

🔥Ace met you when he joined Whitebeard, that's when he became attached to you.

🔥Wherever you go he goes, his always by your side, if he or you don't have a mission that is.

🔥Truthfully Ace doesn't know much about your pass and that doesn't bother him, but your still not a very open person.

🔥At least he knows little things about he was able to pick up on the way like how your strong and brave, but also quite and patient how you are less social and older than him but looks hella young.

🔥But what catch his attention is all your scars they must have been from great battles but the most painful one is the one on your nape it looked as if skin was torn off leaving a nasty mark.

🔥But it was mostly covered by a shirt (or your hair if you have long hair).

🔥For you Ace is the sweetest and most honorable person you've met his cute and badass.

🔥But you love how he pouts when you treat him like a child, or baby him. It made you happy to care for him, feed him clean after him giving him much attention.

🔥It made your connection with the alpha much stronger without needing to say a word you two feel in love over the years

🔥Creating a very strong relationship and a loving one at that. You did hesitate to become his it gave you doubts and anxiety.

🔥But what you fear the most was mating with him you fear having to explain your scars near your private.

🔥Its all case of "him" that man what he did to you was no forgiving matter.

🔥That's till one night Ace and his s/o was in the perfect mood, bodies against one and other hands exploring your cloths covered flesh.

🔥He was about to unbuckle your pants which made you shot in defense pushing him away as he came crashing down the bed.

🔥At first he thought he did something wrong, seeing your face upset and pain expression.

🔥both sitting in silence, your scent increasing but with a smell to make sure Ace stayed away but his Alpha fought it wanting to be near you not leaving you in this state.

🔥He didn't made you say anything didn't ask anything just hugged you tightly to his chest rubbing your back.

🔥A long quite moment passed still in his arms you open your mouth begging him not to leave you. Tears sobbing hiccups and mumbling words left your lips

🔥"Calm down tell me what's wrong?" He kept his voice soft and purred more.

🔥"I-i use to b-be marr-married." Half a loath off your chest, it seemed Ace didn't care so what if you where married before your now here with him and your his that's all that mattered.

🔥But it all changed when you continued

🔥You were married once before. To a man you thought was truly your soul mate, you two where happy but it all shattered when you tried having children.

🔥You tried and tried and tried. But nothing.

🔥Slowly he started becoming less of the man you knew, he became rough and untenable during your "activities". He made you bleed and didn't stop when pleading for it he.

🔥He began using his alpha voice on you, scaring you. Breaking you down.

🔥Not long after he became a drunk, hitting cutting and sexually abusing you.

🔥You had enough tearing out his mark/bite, escaping his claws, but he chased after you, till you literally ran into Whitebeard, the pirate captain defended you, beat the living shit out of him, took you in treated you with respect and care.

🔥You became his daughter/son. You became one of the most strongest and feared pirate under Whitebeard. (And the old geezer is damn proud of you!)

🔥After hearing all that Ace accepted you even more, loving you with care as he continue to praise your body analyze ever curve, scar, soft squeezy place (Butt/Boobs😏) .

🔥Till he reached your private parts down below seeing the stretch marks and abusive places.

🔥He must've think its disgusting and not worth it anymore, just through you in the back. And be forgotten - That's what you thought.

🔥But instead he gave you a night you'd never forget, he was so gentle and considerate letting you take the lead. Along with marking you as his mate forever no regrets.

🔥lest just say, the following week you came on to some morning sickness, It was like destiny was telling you Ace is the only one no one else would work.

🔥Fire First Ace is your Alpha. And you his omega.