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wlw-imagines · 3 years ago

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Ask Me - Eloise Bridgerton/Reader (Bridgerton)

a/n: a little short bit that wasn’t technically requested but anon asked me if i could start writing for bridgerton and hey presto here i am! hope u enjoy a bit of angst xoxo

There were many things you loved about the Ton. You had to admit that you loved the parties, the elegance, the dresses... it had been your whole life. And yet you still weren’t particularly ready for what you had spent your whole life training for.

You were due to be wed in two weeks time.

It had been announced today. You husband-to-be had just left your house. You were glad that someone had proposed in all honesty, and you were glad that your whole life leading up to this point hadn’t been for nothing and that he was a good enough man but, at the same time, you were completely and utterly bereft. After all, your heart belonged to another. Eloise Bridgerton.

You were sure she didn’t even know it, but she had your heart all the same. And there was nothing you could do.

The two of you had met when you were young. You were friends first and foremost, playing together and learning stupid skills to please your future husbands at such a young age. You had grown up a bit and drifted apart until Daphne’s season began.

When you saw Eloise again last year it was like nothing had changed and yet, at the same time, everything had. This time, you were wholly and fully in love with her.

You became as thick as thieves again, with Penelope too when she was able to join you, and with Benedict whenever he was around. You did your best to keep your feelings private, you thought she was never going to be like you - to like another woman.

But today, you found yourself at the Bridgerton house, hands shaking as the house maid let you in. You had so much to say and only two weeks left in the Ton, with Eloise so close.

And before it was too late, you were asking to speak to Eloise.

And all of a sudden, she was standing in front of you.

You could tell she knew about your engagement, how could she not know, it was in Lady Whistledown’s latest paper. And you could also tell that she was pissed, or angry, or something bad. Of course she was, she had heard about your engagement from a gossip paper and not from you. What made you feel worse was that you had no idea how she would feel after you had talked to her. She may never want to talk to you again.

You attempted to push the fear down and took a deep breath before looking up. Your gazes locked and she nodded, “Y/N.” She said, greeting you.

“Hello.” You let go of the breath you were holding, doing your best not to break down and cry right there.

She frowned slightly, and pretended to check her nails, “I wasn’t expecting you.”

You tried to defuse some tension in the air by putting on your best cheeky smile and asking, “Are you ever expecting me?”

Eloise blinked a few times, almost cracking, “We’re having dinner soon.” She hesitated, looking over her shoulder.

“Do you have a moment to talk?” You asked, quietly, your hands anxiously twisting your dress up, again and again.

She finally let out a sigh, breaking and rushing over to you, “Of course.” She let out a small smile and held your hands, having noticed your anxious actions, she squeezed them reassuringly, “I heard-”

You quickly shook your head, “Can we please talk somewhere private?”

“Of course.” She didn’t ask any further questions and instead, held onto your hand and pulled you out to the garden, stopping at the swings.

Without talking you kept walking, this time dragging her behind you, until you were behind a small cluster of trees. You were sure that no one would be able to see you from the house and definitely not hear what you were about to admit. Having Eloise hear it was going to be bad enough.

She frowned slightly and cleared her throat, pulling your attention to her. She couldn’t understand why you were acting this way, "So... you're to be married?" She said, doing her best to sound somewhat optimistic about it.

You let your gaze drop to the floor, "Yes."

"Are you not happy? I hear Lord Corsley is a kind man. I'm sure he can make you happy."

You tried to calm your breathing and closed your eyes, "Eloise-"

"And I know you like the country, Y/N. Have you seen his country house? Rather grand, or so I've heard-"

You clenched your fists and took a step forward, raising your eyes to Eloise’s, "Ask me not to marry him." You rushed out, before you could convince yourself not to. There was a few seconds of silence in which Eloise watched you for any sign that you were messing around or joking. When it was clear you were serious, she moved closer to you.

"What?" She asked, her hand on your arm. You glanced down at the contact and tried to formulate your thoughts.

"If I were told not to- If you asked me not to marry him... I wouldn't, you know that, don't you?" You searched her eyes desperately, trying to convey the message, trying to get her to understand. How do you say ‘I love you’ without having to say those three words out loud?

Eloise’s mind was racing at all the possibilities and what you meant, surely... surely not what she was hoping for? But she shook her head, "Y/N, I couldn't-"

"And why couldn't you, Eloise?" You stepped even closer, your eyes brimming with tears. You closed your eyes, not wanting to cry in front of her right now. You rested your hands on her waist and leant your forehead on her collarbone, "Just ask me. Please." You mumbled into her dress, pleadingly.

You could feel her breath on the back of your neck and her words reverberated through your upper body, "What would it change?" You brought your head up and wiped at your eyes.

"What would it change? Everything. El, I- You must know how I feel.” Your lips trembled slightly. You’d gone too far now to go back and besides, did you really want to take any of this back? You were terrified but you already felt lighter. You brought your hands up to cup her chin and gently swiped the pad of your thumb over her cheekbone.

Her eyes squinted slightly, "How you... feel?" She whispered out the question, her eyes searching yours for an answer. She raised her own hands and put them over the top of yours.

You let out a huff of frustration and dropped your hands from her cheeks, taking a step back and pulling some hair from out of your face, "For someone who reads so many novels, and novels of love, you sure are being dense right now."

"Love?" She repeated, though she hardly spoke the word and it came out as the faintest of whispers.

Your eyes widened in panic and you wrung your hands slightly, screwing up your dress again and pulling at it. You shook your head and took a few more steps back, "I didn't mean... I don't mean love. I just, I mean maybe I do but-"

"And if I told you- If I asked you not to marry and instead to stay here, with me, what would you do?" Eloise followed you, every step back you had taken she had taken that same step forward until your back was against one of the tree trunks. You tried to avoid her gaze but she simply followed it until she’d had enough and grabbed your chin to steady you. Your eyes connected.

A tear slipped down your cheek and you let out a shaky breath, "I'd stay."

She tracked the tear with her eyes until it landed at your lips, her gaze lingered, "Y/N, please, don’t make me...” Her voice trembled and she let go of you but didn’t move back, “I’m telling you that I can’t be the one-"

"No, Eloise, please, you can because I would- I'd stay." The tears wouldn’t stop now, and your chest tightened. You licked your lips, “I’d stay for you, Eloise. I’d do anything for you.”

Eloise stood motionless, hardly breathing, "And that is why I cannot." It dawned on you, maybe you’d got your hopes up too much but she was trying to let you down carefully. You’d got your wires crossed, she didn’t like you. She was your friend after all, "Y/N-"

You rubbed the tears from your face, angry at yourself more than anyone else right now. You felt like a fool, "No, you're right. It was stupid of me to-"

"Y/N, please." She grasped for your hands as they flailed around but you pulled them out of her grip each time.

You shook your head, trying to get out from under her. You needed to get out of this garden, away from the tree, away from her, "I can't."

"Just wait." She begged, you finally managed to get out from between her and the tree.

You kept shaking your head gently, sniffling as you backed away from her one step at a time, trying to excuse yourself, "I wasn't thinking properly... the engagement, it's a lot and it's a big change. I wasn't in my right mind at all and you must forgive me. I-"

You felt yourself jolted towards her and brought back behind the cover of trees. You looked down to see her hand clasped around the front of your dress, which she had used to pull you back into her.

“Eloise.”

Before you could protest any further, her arm was around your waist and her other hand was on your chin and she was kissing you. She was kissing you. Eloise was kissing you.

You didn’t want to stop but you took a moment to breath, your nose gently brushed against hers. She drew back only to immediately envelop you in a hug, hiding her face in the crook of your neck, “El?” You gently wrapped your arms around her body. You only realised she was crying when your neck became wet.

“How didn’t I notice?” Her breath shuddered as she sniffled.

“Notice?” You asked, frowning and only hugging her tighter.

She pulled back, tear tracks on her cheeks, “I’ve loved you since we were young.”

“You did?” You whispered.

She nodded and closed her eyes, “And we could have had longer.” She sighed, biting her lip.

You tried again, taking her cheeks in the palms of your hands, “I’d stay, El, I would.”

She pressed a light kiss to the tip of your nose and brought her lips close to yours, "When are you to be married?"

You gulped, wanting to protest again but not finding the strength, "I... a fortnight from today." You admitted, sure she already knew but needed to hear it from you.

This time the kiss was different. Before it had been hungry and long overdue. Now she kissed you so softly, so gently, like you would break. She pulled away, just a few millimetres. "So soon?"

You swallowed the feeling of resentment against your future husband, "Lord Corsley has business to attend to at the end of the month that will take him out of the country. He wanted the wedding and the honeymoon over before he leaves for the continent."

"Perhaps I could come and visit you whilst he is away." Eloise looked at you, her eyes bright with tears and her nose slightly red. Your chest ached and you tried not to cry again. She wasn’t going to ask you to stay. How could she?

"You would?" You asked, instead.

"And we still have two weeks." She whispered, moving to hug you again. She pressed soft kisses to your ear lobe and your jaw.

You pulled away and looked into her eyes, one more attempt - that’s all you had, "I wish we had more, and I wish I didn't have to marry. I wish..."

She shook her head, taking your hand in hers and bringing it up to press a kiss to, "Come, we should return, before they send a search party." You nodded. Your understood her. Your future together would be more secure if you both had husbands than it ever would be if you became spinsters. People would talk. It is the Ton after all, and how could you ask her to do that to her family name. Her younger siblings.

There was a bit of rustling and Benedict popped into view with a lopsided grin as he brushed his jacket to get rid of the leaves, "Too late, I'm afraid. I tried covering for you, sister, but Mama was starting to get suspicious." He looked around the spot you’d found for yourselves, “What on Earth are you doing in this part of the garden? I spent ages looking for you.”

Eloise tightened her grip on your hand, "How long have you been there, brother?" She asked, tense with fear.

"Only as long as I’ve been speaking to you. Why, did I interrupt something?" He asked with a cheeky tone before taking note of the mood. Both of you still had tear tracks down your cheeks and red eyes, “Is everything alright?”

You sniffled and cleared your throat, quickly making up an excuse, "Yes, fine. Uh, you didn’t interrupt anything at all. Why, we were just discussing the latest Whistledown."

Benedict turned his body to you and mock bowed, "Miss Y/L/N, good evening."

"Evening, Benedict." You responded fondly, letting a smile grow on your face. He was like your very own brother and you’d miss seeing him so often.

"I hear congratulations are in order? Your engagement?" He grinned.

You did all you could to not visibly flinch at his words. Instead, you nodded and put on your best smile, "Yes, thank you." You took in a deep breath and removed your hand from Eloise’s, "I should leave you all be, I just came to speak to Eloise and, well, I have a wedding to make preparations for."

She moved to take your hand again but you nodded to Benedict and she settle for walking back to the house next to you, brushing hands as you went.

Benedict walked the other side and nudged your shoulder, "You are sure you don't want to stay? Mama won't mind, we will always make a space at our table for you. Eloise? Y/N can stay, can’t she?" He asked, leaning in front of you to check in with Eloise. You cast your eyes to floor, refusing to make eye contact with Eloise despite knowing she was looking your way and shook your head firmly as you reached the back doors.

"Thank you, but no. I will take my leave tonight. Enjoy your evening, both of you."

You turned around and did a half curtsy, just wanting to leave at this point. You could hardly keep on your feet after all that had happened tonight, you needed to sit down and process.

El tried to stop you from going and reached out to you, "Y/N-"

"Good night, Eloise." You took a step back and turned away, thanking the house maid for opening the door for you as you left the Bridgerton house.

Benedict watched as you went, taking note of the way the two of you acted with one another. He noticed the glances and the touches. He remembered the messed up hair and the way the two of you were standing so closely to one another back amongst the trees.

He watched Eloise as her gaze fell on the space you had just been occupying. He sighed and stepped forward, wrapping his little sister up in his arms just as the tears began again.

“Sister?” He asked, worried about her. He need to let her know that he knew and that she could trust him wholeheartedly.

“I-I can’t-” She shook her head, keeping her face directed to the ground and avoiding his sight. Her chest was rising and falling too quickly and she couldn’t breathe. He rubbed her back and held her hand.

“Breathe, it’s okay.”

She shook her head harder and cried out, sobbing, “No, no, it’s not.” She sat down on the steps into the garden so he joined her, pulling her to rest on his shoulder.

He allowed the silence to gather as her breathing became normal again. Benedict clenched his eyes shut before letting out a sigh.

"You know, sometimes Society wants things from us that we are unable to give.” He began, stumbled a bit and tried again, “They all want us to fall in love on their very own terms. It is thought of as unacceptable any other way." He whispered, leaning into Eloise.

She tensed up, sure he knew something he really shouldn’t, "I don't want to talk about it, brother."

"I have found it difficult myself, you know." He finally admitted, looking out into the garden, "I have learnt that it's- it’s okay to love the people that they... don't want you to."

Eloise’s tear stained face turned to him, her eyes lit up by the light coming from inside the house.

"I... You have?" Her voice trembled. His hand shook slightly but Eloise took them in her own.

Benedict looked at his sister, "It's okay to love her."

Eloise’s bottom lip trembled slightly, "She's engaged to be married."

"Does she love you?"

She shook her head, "That doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters." He squeezed her hand.

"I couldn't ask her to stay. She wanted me to but... how could I?" She leant her head against Benedict’s shoulder. The things he would do for his sister... and yet, here he was, feeling powerless against the whole of the Ton.

"Come, I'll tell Mama you're not feeling well and we can talk. I’ll give you my best brotherly advice.” He smiled a warm smile and stood up, helping his sister to her feet. “It'll be okay, Eloise, I promise."

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