#you know what they'd think of you if they didn't know you... or if you ever stop being friends... you know how they'll talk
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Ok, this is the worst take I have ever read. If males are giving up, it's out of spite to women. They're dropping out? It's to get away from the women!! Further proof of male inferiority! Feminists are just lousy people, but this takes the cake. They were encouraging the assassination of the enemies of Leftism, and subsequent death of the expendable male they used for the purpose, so I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. "as a group men don't want to simply be around women" A testable hypothesis. Do men interact with women?
If feminism was correct, he would rape and kill her, not necessarily in that order. Feminism is a toxic delusion, a hysterical mental illness, and it will not be missed.
"I knew dudes 20yrs ago who showed up to heavily female conventions purely because they knew they'd get phone numbers" You think women didn't go to places to find men to score with? Do you know what women call certain clubs? Drycleaners, because you can always pick up a suit. Hell, there were women who used to go to star trek cons to get laid back in the early days, because it turns out nerds aren't too picky.
DEI means men, and people of certain races like asians, whites, and now jews, are actively discriminated against at college. Why should they go to a place where some "mattress girl" can ruin their lives with a false accusation?
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She was never punished for what she did. Instead, she became a feminist hero, and grifted off of it for years. Why should males go to mixed colleges? They are far better off working trades far away from the misandrist b*tches. But the tide is turning. Leftism infiltrated feminism, and it's eating it alive from the inside, and feminism has no idea how to react. There's JK Rowling, but apart from her, most are lost in confusion - or becoming ex-feminists. Because conservatives offer a world that protects men AND women. Feminists cannot protect women, because they cannot define what a woman is. Maybe it is too late for the West, and it will be crushed by the violent antifeminist forces in Russia, China, North Korea and across the Islamist Caliphate. But maybe it is not too late, and Trump heralds a new hope for us, where men and women can lovingly share their lives. I choose hope. I think love will win, despite them.
Why aren't we talking about the real reason male college enrollment is dropping? (Celeste Davis, Oct 6 2024)
"White flight is a term that describes how white people move out of neighborhoods when more people of color move in.
White flight is especially common when minority populations become the majority. That neighborhood then declines in value.
Male flight describes a similar phenomenon when large numbers of females enter a profession, group, hobby or industry—the men leave. That industry is then devalued.
Take veterinary school for example:
In 1969 almost all veterinary students were male at 89%.
By 1987, male enrollment was equal to female at 50%.
By 2009, male enrollment in veterinary schools had plummeted to 22.4%
A sociologist studying gender in veterinary schools, Dr. Anne Lincoln says that in an attempt to describe this drastic drop in male enrollment, many keep pointing to financial reasons like the debt-to-income ratio or the high cost of schooling.
But Lincoln’s research found that “men and women are equally affected by tuition and salaries.”
Her research shows that the reason fewer men are enrolling in veterinary school boils down to one factor: the number of women in the classroom.
For every 1% increase in the proportion of women in the student body, 1.7 fewer men applied.
One more woman applying was a greater deterrent than $1000 in extra tuition! (…)
Since males had dominated these professions for centuries, you would think they would leave slowly, hesitantly or maybe linger at 40%, 35%, 30%, but that’s not what happens.
Once the tipping point reaches majority female- the men flee. And boy do they flee!
It’s a slippery slope. When the number of women hits 60% the men who are there make a swift exit and other men stop joining.
Morty Schapiro, economist and former president of Northwestern University has noticed this trend when studying college enrollment numbers across universities:
“There’s a cliff you fall off once you become 60/40 female/male. It then becomes exponentially more difficult to recruit men.”
Now we’ve reached that 60% point of no return for colleges.
As we’ve seen with teachers, nurses and interior design, once an institution is majority female, the public perception of its value plummets.
Scanning through Reddit and Quora threads, many men seem to be in agreement - college is stupid and unnecessary.
A waste of time and money. You’re much better off going into the trades, a tech boot camp or becoming an entrepreneur. No need for college. (…)
When mostly men went to college? Prestigious. Aspirational. Important.
Now that mostly women go to college? Unnecessary. De-valued. A bad choice. (…)
School is now feminine. College is feminine. And rule #1 if you want to safely navigate this world as a man? Avoid the feminine.
But we don’t seem to want to talk about that."
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Isekai reader x Batfam (Neglected au)
Female reader
Chapter 7- the true princess of Wayne Manor
Short chapter*
_____________________________
"(Name)... I noticed something from you" Dick says "When you try something new, you stop pursuing it if you're not immediately good at it"
A reincarnated and two vigilantes go rock climbing, sounds like the start of an awful joke huh?
After the continued event of you encountering the villains and school shooters, they decided to teach you some stuff, Karate, Muay Thai, Taekwondo, jujitsu, painting, swimming, Camping, Ziplining, trying the scary roller coaster rides-
Huh?
This is slowly starting to feel like family outings
You jump further up "What do you mean?", He looks up at you "I mean... When we went swimming and Damian dived you wanted to try it out too, but when you realized you couldn't do it you just stopped, but when we tried archery and you could do it, you wanted to stay there longer"
"I just don't want to keep on trying on a lost cause, I hate feeling helpless and disappointed" you say, as you three reached the top, you rest for a bit and Jason hands you a bottle of water "what kind of helpless?" He asked
"When mom was sick, we had one problem, and it was money, I thought to myself that it'll be okay since I know how to make money, just give me a couple of months and we'll have what we need, turns out we didn't have a couple of months, I worked really hard and I was just disappointed that I couldn't save her, there I promised myself I wouldn't try on a lost cause" you drank the whole bottle and even burped after"Excuse me"
"I mean" you stated "Why didn't you think I never even tried to get along with you guys, first meeting Damian calls me an 'it', who'd expect family after that" you laugh
Nevermind the fact that you know you're in a world where they're not supposed to love you
After losing your family the first time, and your mom the second time, knowing you'll have no one after that was depressing, you wanted to at least defy the system, you told yourself that if you tried to get along with them, maybe they'll accept you
The system quickly shut that thought down by telling you that "In any of the fics you've read, were any of the readers successful?"
Basically telling you that if in the fiction you've read no main character succeeded, you trying to gain their love would do nothing, you'd just set yourself up for failure
Reader... I'm sorry but you are on the verge of failing, at this rate, you won't get the special reward...
You look up at the screen in curiosity, their hatred meter was on 2%, but the past few days that the new vigilante Protagonist has been fighting with the bat family, it went up again to 15%, and whenever they spend time with you it goes down again, when they spend time with protagonist it goes up again, you honestly have no idea what's going on
Bruce's hatred meter is already in the negatives, if all of them go to the negatives you've failed
Dick hugs you "Let's go shopping" he smiles
____________________________
And you find yourself at the mall, you find some books you think you'll like and Jason pays for you, you find some clothes you think you'll like and Dick pays for you
They both drag you to a dress store, and to be honest you feel like you're forgetting something really important
You open your phone to find no messages, not from your friends or anyone
They settle you with a black dress you like, of course they'd pick something in their color, and you ride the taxi home
The Manor is eerie and quiet, Alfred isn't there to greet your return and frankly you're worried, he's always there to greet us, did something happen?
The Joker attacked? But you didn't see any bat patrolling? And why would Dick and Jason be with you?
You open the doors of the manor and-
"Happy birthday (Name)!" They yell, there you see Alfred, your friends, children from the orphanage you visit, the children you tutor, and some paparazzi, some rich looking people you don't know, and holy fuck- is that the justice league in civilian form!?!? oh and also your family is here
Right.
It's your 16th birthday...
And this... Is your first official Wayne Gala
You totally forgot.
You rarely celebrate your birthday... Because sometimes, the system tells you to celebrate it alone, sometimes it doesn't, you only remember your birthday when the system makes a mission surrounding it
Shit.
You can't get out of this one
Bruce smiles at you and he takes your hand the music starts
Another shit.
Is this a father-daughter dance?
It is.
Everyone is eager to see it, the paparazzi has cameras pointed at the both of you, your friends are smiling enjoying the party, and the kids are laughing
"(Name) Looks like a princess!" A kid says
You laugh uncomfortably "I don't know how to dance" you whisper to your father (that's a lie, you're amazing), he then places your feet to step on his "that's fine" he says
Then you he dances, his feet guide yours and it becomes this adorable moment where dad doesn't mind that his daughter doesn't know how to dance and is just happy that your in his arms
You are screaming on the inside.
How could you forget about something like this!?!?
You see his hatred meter drop even more, then you see the others, from 15% it goes to 10% then 5% then-
The dance finishes, the crowd claps and cheers, the dance showing you and your father's closeness...
Then a girl speaks "Excuse me?" She says, Everyone's attention is on her and she smiles, she runs to your father "I'm so happy to finally meet you!" She holds his hands pushing you away
Bruce pulls away from her "What are you doing!?" He glared
She looked flustered but smiled either way, she pulled out some documents and gave it to Bruce
"I thought it would be the right moment to tell you since everyone is here... I'm your long lost daughter Viviana!"
_____________________________
EHEHEHEHEHHEHE MANHWA READERS YALL PROLLY KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING
____________________________
@jellyedkazoo @vanilliona @shyenemyperson @popboomcha @plsfckmedxddy @devotedlyshamelessdetective @dorkatron-2000 @yuyuzi-ling @sweetsugerskull @butratherbutrather @yu-reiii @clementinesyummy @lfiee @iamapotatoe @type-ink @unknownloner1345 @randomlyappearingartist @justatimidcreator
#dc universe#dcu#warmisekaidc#yandere#yandere batfam#yandere platonic#yandere batman#yandere bruce wayne#yandere damian wayne#yandere duke thomas#yandere dick grayson#yandere tim drake#yandere jason todd#yandere stephanie brown#yandere cassandra cain#yandere barbara gordon#yandere batboys
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dean winchester x angel!reader — kissing lessons.
or, the defenses are down, the blockades shattered, and you dont know how to kiss. or, let dean help you.
cw, 18+, MDNI! dean talks you through it for real this time. backseat sex LOL. fluffy smut? lowkey subby dean hehehe. no protection yell @ them not me.
word count: 5.6k
notes, dean gets to be his full freak self here hehehe. everyone say ur welcome since i've been being HOUNDED SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIMEMEEEEMEEEE TO POST THIS. unfortunately for all of u this is the planned conclusion to their tale </3 don't crucify me. u legally can't since i'm giving u this.
★ ˚⋆
things were... a little awkward, after you saved dean's life with a kiss. like passion drove you over the edge, a desperate need to save him and to do it any way possible, that was the only time that you managed to kiss him right.
and he didn't — well, he kind of judged you for it. just little laughs, when you'd lean in to try and kiss him and end up flushing and sinking backwards. it was cute. sure, it did mean he wasn't getting any action anytime soon, and every bedtime kiss you promised him ended up becoming a bedtime smack for him laughing at your struggle, but hey, you guys just had a different dynamic.
he still thought you were the prettiest thing to ever grace earth. just because you didn't know how to kiss properly didn't mean he was going to suddenly stop being interested. it just opened doors to getting to teach you.
sam stayed back at the motel while dean volunteered to go on a drink run. it was one of those nights; a roundabout case that the both of them knew was going to keep them up looking for the slightest detail in the research that could alter their investigation for the better. sam needed a beer, dean wanted a beer, and you wanted whiskey.
literally. girl of his dreams, he'd thought. still thinks.
plus, you love car rides. dean had not let you back behind the wheel since the last time, and you didn't seem to want to try again either, more than content to sit and look pretty in the seat next to him.
the nearest liquor tour in whatever small town you guys were camping out in for the night was a good few miles away, and so he got to play all of his cards in one fell swoop. hand on your thigh, fingers trailing up the seams of your jeans, tracing with his nail on the inside of your palm.
you were squirming. he loved when you squirmed.
his fingers are just at the inside of your thigh, long enough to have gently walked their way over like they owned the place ( he did, you didn't know it yet ) and rest easily. that is the moment you speak up, those narrowed eyes locked on his in a glare.
"stop that."
dean's eyebrows flick up. he spares a single glance toward you, the picture of innocence written into the marrow of his sinful bones. "stop what?"
"you're touching me."
he hums to himself for a moment, eyes turned toward the stoplight he'd rolled up to. "could be touching you more."
"no."
dean huffs out a laugh. "are you scared of my hands, dove?" even as he says it, his hand moves again, to the safety of your thigh. "you know they'd never hurt you."
your eyes roll furiously. you grab his wrist and practically throw his hand onto the gearstick. "your hands are not sentient beings and cannot make that choice for you."
dean's gotten really receptive to you, over these past few weeks. what your expressions meant in the rare times that you didn't voice your confusion, what your body language said, and so now he's confident that he knows what you're feeling right now. your hands are clenched tightly in your lap, purposely not touching him, fisted so tightly that they shake a little. your eyes are facing forward without budging, even though he knows that his gaze is burning into the side of your face.
the stoplight illuminates your face in a green glow. "it's a green light," you say without turning to look at him, and that pretty much confirms it for dean. you're afraid. afraid, embarrassed, and not wanting to tell him any of it. "so go."
dean's jaw clenches as he restrains a frown behind the cage of his teeth. the absolute last thing he wanted was for you to feel like you had to hide away from him, keeping every one of those thoughts locked away in your inexperienced, curious head.
the car rolls into drive again, passing the parking lot for the liquor store. he sees it out of the corner of his eye; the way your head cocks to the side, your lip between your teeth while you try to figure out what he was doing. you could ask. he wanted you to ask. whatever was eating at you was keeping all of his pretty girl's first thoughts from him.
he pulls off on the side of the road and cuts the engine, leaving the both of you in darkness except for the moonlight pouring in through the windshield.
dean nods toward the backseat. "hop on back there, sweet girl," he says with a sigh, unbuckling his seatbelt and sliding out of the driver's seat. you don't move. he props himself in the doorway with an unmoved expression. "c'mon. it's late. don't wanna have to tell you twice."
the way your face twists up in annoyance is exactly what he wanted to see. good. anything but that weariness that had marred your features. he slips into the backseat, shuts the door behind him, before your door opens.
seconds later, you're dropping into the seat next to dean. he turns on the leather to face you better, his hand coming up to brush the hair out of your face. "you know you can talk to me, right? i act like an ass all the time, i know, but you don't have to lock yourself away."
your face goes pink at his words. that angry twitch of your nose makes an appearance, and it's all dean can do not to break into a wider grin. knowing that something so delicate could also be so wicked was an enticing thought all in itself.
"it's embarrassing."
"so what?" his lips twist as his shoulders raise in a shrug. "who's gonna judge you? me? be serious, dove."
your nose twitches again, mouth in a tight scowl. "you would definitely judge me."
"that's how i know you're feelin' all insecure up there," dean says, tapping your temple with his finger, "because you know that's not true. i know that's not true."
you growl, actually growl, and dean wants nothing more than to grab you by the hand and tug your mouth onto his. even if you don't kiss him back, he wants to kiss you. your furious frustration was a common occurrence around him, but that didn't mean it got any less attractive.
"when you touch me," you grit out through your clenched teeth, your hands fisted in your lap like you might hit him. hell, he'd have taken the punch right then, if it kept you talking. "i feel things."
dean blinks twice in quick succession. "and?" you do hit him square in the shoulder. your hands carry much more of a punch than he could have predicted. he lets out a little oof, his lips pursing with his lack of amusement. "it's a serious question!"
"i can't say." you look adamant, your frustration so pretty on your features, and dean's a bit dazed. "it's embarrassing," you repeat, and dean gets it. or, he thinks he does.
one corner of his mouth quirks again, his cheek dimpling. the hand on your face falls to your thighs again, fingers lightly dancing on the inner seam of your jeans. "here?"
your hand raises to punch him again, and he knows he's right; catches it just in time before you can bruise that spot on his shoulder. "well, i can't leave you feelin' all hot and bothered, can i?"
"i am not hot," you scoff out almost in disgust at the suggestion, and dean does laugh, then. you were so hot it was ridiculous, but alright. "but i am very bothered."
"lucky for you," dean murmurs, his hand releasing your wrist and moving to your jaw, turning your head to look at him again, "i am very good at handlin' bothered girls." he leans in, brushes his lips against yours. "angels, i should say."
dean can feel you retreating already at the slight touch of his lips, but now he knows that it's not because you don't want to kiss him, or don't want what he's offering. you're afraid of it like the feelings will bite you, nervous to feel the full extent of it. his fingers hold your jaw more firmly.
"now, i'm not gonna ask," he says, driven further by the soft sound of your breath catching, "since you're feeling a little trigger happy right now... but i think it's time my little dove has herself some kissing lessons."
to his surprise, you don't hit him again. you just stare into his eyes with such earnest honesty that it's his turn to lose his breath. you trusted him so much. he wanted to show you just how much it meant to him; let you watch as he cradled your heart in his hands.
the distance closes in a second between your mouths, the brush of his slow and languid against yours, judging your reactions. your kiss is hesitant, and then suddenly you're pressing further into him, the force of it almost bruising when you don't move your lips. he pulls back enough to look into your eyes.
dean's finger comes up to pinch your lips closed, smiling softly as he does. "don't have to try n' bite my face off, honey, i promise," he chides without any malice in his words, taking advantage of the gentle grasp he had on your lips to lean in again. he kisses you slowly again, deliberate in the way his mouth moves, so you could figure it out.
your fingers uncurl in your lap and move to his shirt, twisting the soft cotton lightly. that's when he releases your lips, his hand shifting to cup your cheek in his palm. dean's thumb traces reassuringly on your cheekbone.
when your mouth opens this time, it's less like you're trying to sink your teeth into him and more like an invitation. dean knew you were a quick learner; had from the moment he'd let you behind baby's wheel. seeing it action like this, with your hands in his shirt and your tongue swiping across his, was on another level.
his free hand reaches for your hands one at a time, his touch on your wrist light as he lifts your fingers to his hair. he has to force his mouth away from yours, has to pull away from the taste of your tongue. "i know how much you wanna yank my hair out," dean teases, letting go of your hand to let you take over, "so go ahead n' pull, baby."
you look between his eyes again with that same open look, and he's sure he's melting right there into the leather backseat. "really?"
dean laughs. "yeah, really." he leans in to nuzzle his nose against yours. "matter of fact, touch anywhere you want, baby. this is all for you. so y'can get outta that head of yours."
something flashes in your eyes at that. he doesn't know what it was - the offer or the idea - that caught your attention, but he's intrigued, too. one of your hand drops from his hair to his shirt again, this time at the waist of it.
he's a little dazed, admittedly, as you untuck it from being bunched up in the waist of his jeans. it's intense to have your eyes on him while you pull his shirt up until it catches on his extended arms.
"took the first chance y'could to get me naked, huh?" dean asks, even as his voice comes out more strained than it'd been before, his jeans suddenly feeling just as tight.
you use your elbow to nudge his arms up, and he raises his hands in defense at your sudden act of authority before he lifts them. then, you've got his shirt off, tossing it behind your back. "shut up."
"there's my girl," he murmurs, hooking his finger in your belt loop and tugging you closer. maybe he was moving too fast. maybe he knew you'd adapt quickly.
and you do. he never doubted you for a second. your hand rests on his cheek, guiding him back into a kiss, more confidently than any of your kisses had been so far. your fingers tangle in his hair, and dean has to physically bite back on the groan in his throat.
he takes advantage of his hold on your jeans to start unfastening them. you're so good for him, a perfect match, because you don't even know what you're doing but your hips are lifting so he can start pulling them down.
dean breaks the kiss with a pop of your mouths, and the growl you let out goes straight to the hardening cock trapped in his jeans. he doesn't want to move so fast, but you've always been a little cruel like this, tempting him in ways that he should have been stronger to resist. there was no resistance now.
he hooks his arm under your legs to turn you in the seat, draping them across his lap. he unties your boots for you, pulling them off and setting them on the floor of the backseat. then, he's grabbing the bunched denim on your thighs and tugging until they're off. dean has more care with your clothes than you did with his. he'd always treat everything about you as gently as glass, setting them on the middle console between the front seats.
you look at him for a second, like you're trying to gauge the situation you've both found yourselves in. pulled over on the side of the road like teenagers that couldn't wait, stripping each other naked in the backseat. it'd be laughable if you didn't look so vulnerable. for the second time that night, dean realized how big the trust you had in him was, and he didn't want to do a thing to mess it up.
"lemme get this off of you, yeah?" he asks, his hands moving to the bottom of your shirt. he meets your gaze for confirmation; gets a single nod. "it means a lot, y'know," he continues on, trying to keep you out of the black hole that was your worries, as he pulls your shirt up and over your head, "that you're trusting me with this. all of it."
"don't start," you whine, your hands moving to your eyes, covering your face. dean grabs your wrists and pulls them apart, moving your arms out of the way so he could properly see you. "hey!"
dean's lips pull into a small smile. "hi."
"this is a lot," you say, and his smile softens considerably, "i don't know what to do now."
dean lifts his shoulders in a shrug. "whatever you wanna do. this is all you, baby, i'm just here to provide." he rests his large palm on your kneecap, the pad of his thumb rubbing soothingly against your skin. "we can stop. you can kiss me again, or punch me again, if that's what you want. we can get dressed again, get what we actually came for..."
"no." you blink a few times before you shake your head. "i don't want to stop, i..."
dean's not a patient man. he's used to time limits and counting his days. but in this backseat with you, he's certain time has stopped just for the both of you. he feels the world at his disposal, like every bit of time existed like pieces of sand in his palms.
when you realize he is, for once, not going to interrupt you, and not try and put thoughts in place of your feelings, you huff. "i do not know what to do from here."
dean grabs for one of your discarded hands, holding your fingers in his lap. "do you want us to be on equal ground?" he asks, nodding down at himself. you were in nothing but undergarments; he still had his jeans on. "and then we can figure it out from there?"
your smile is beautiful in its hesitance. "okay."
"okay like you want my pants off, or okay like you'd just feel better if we were both freezin' our asses off back here?" dean teases, even as he shifts a little in the cramped space to start taking off his jeans.
your huff is practically a wordless grumble in itself. "why do you want me to spell things out?"
"i want you comfortable, dove," he says, the waistband of his jeans paused at his thighs, "there's no pressure here at all. if there's pressure, then it's not fun anymore."
you think on it for a second. dean watches your expression shift with your feelings and acceptance. "you may continue."
"oh, mama's bossy now, is she?"
you grab a handful of the leg of his jeans and yank. "shut up."
"yes, ma'am."
you wad up his discarded jeans and toss them at him in a ball of denim. "shut up."
"you're so pretty when you're mad, honey," dean mumbles, using his grip on your hand to tug you forward. you stumble a little in the small space, falling into his lap. "come n' make me shut up."
your eyes are narrowed on him as you shift to make yourself comfortable. your leg tosses over his thighs, settling into his lap. his breath hitches in his throat at the feel of your heat through both of the thin undergarments on you, and from the look in your eyes, the evidence of his own arousal has made itself prominent against you, too.
you look like you might say something. you don't. your hands grab him by his face and drag him in for another kiss. he actually chokes on a noise in his throat at the suddenness, and he thinks he might love you. knows he does, but has never felt the intensity of it quite like this before.
dean's mouth opens to let you in, craving the taste of you again. your tongue meets his instantly, lapping against each other's in a languid slow dance. he's content like this. he could stop here, and go back to the motel with or without the alcohol and use this memory here of your tongue in his mouth while you sat all pretty in his lap to get himself off, and be perfectly fine.
but if there was one thing that you were full of, it was surprises. his little whiskey drinking, praise adoring, bossy angel. your fingers fall between the both of your bodies and rest on his hard on through his boxers, and dean looses a shuddering breath.
you pull away from his mouth with his saliva on your lips. dean's head falls back onto the headrest of the backseat with a groan. "you told me i could touch," you say, your innocent voice so out of place with your devilish hands.
"i did," dean says, tracing his thumb over your cheekbone. "didn't expect you to go for the gold immediately, though."
your answering smile is the prettiest thing he's ever seen. the moon sits high in the sky outside of the window, glowing and whitecast down onto you.
a halo of your own making.
dean thinks he's going to die.
you raise your hips off of him for the time being, your light touch teasing and electric at once. dean grasps that hand and lifts it to his mouth, kissing each of your fingertips. "here," he says quietly, his other hand going to your waist. he traces over your ribcage lightly before he closes his fingers over your side.
he pulls you closer, lets you grind against the swell in his boxers. he groans, your breath hitches with a little whine, and he's sure, then, that he'll die like this.
"you like that?" dean asks you, dipping his head to get a better look at your eyes. you look dazed, a little drunk, and dean wants to see those pretty eyes glimmer and glisten.
he lifts you up again by your thigh, just enough to slide his boxers off of him as gently as he can. the space is cramped, and it's finally starting to feel like it.
dean's done this plenty of times, but there's something about your gaze that makes him feel more vulnerable than he ever has before. he's naked underneath you; you, who has never done anything like this before, and he feels more exposed than you seem to.
it's like a game, now. when he does something, you do it, like you don't want to fall behind in this back and forth. your hips stay up, and it's more awkward for you to tug your panties off, but you manage it with a few lifts of your legs, and a kick that sends them, somehow, into the driver's seat.
you laugh. it's breathtaking.
dean helps you settle back on his thighs, and it's all he can do to not fall apart there. you're warm, you're wet enough that he feels it on his legs, and all he wants to do is make you feel even better than you do now.
"green light?" dean asks, lifting his eyes to look at you again, and not at all of the skin bared to him. he doesn't want to overwhelm you with how intense he must be staring at you, but you're mesmerizing. perfection in the form of a wingless angel sat on his lap.
you blink a couple of times before the realization settles in. "go?"
"i'm askin' you, dove," he says in answer, hand going to the back of your neck to pull you closer, to press a kiss to your forehead. "red light or green light?"
your face is so close to his, but dean can see the melted expression in your eyes. instead of answering, you press a kiss to his mouth again. he's glad you like it, now that you know how to do it. he could handle kissing you over and over, but your lips kissing him back is something he was already getting addicted to.
on his mouth, you whisper, "green light."
dean blinks, now. his teeth drag your bottom lip back lightly until it pops back into place. "yeah?"
at your nod, he sits up a little better, his arms snaking around your waist. once he's got a good grip on you, he moves the both of you so that he's sprawled beneath you in the backseat, fully extended. he doesn't fit, his legs bent a little as his back presses into the door, but it's fine. everything is fine when he has you. plus, his bent knees only draws you closer to him.
"i promise this is the last time i'm gonna do this to you," he says with a teasing lilt to his voice, lifting you off of his thighs again. "just say red light if it's too much, okay?"
"okay."
it's more gentle than he's ever been, the way he spreads your legs open a little more, the way he lines the aching length of his cock up with your waiting entrance. just the brush of the tip against the wetness of your folds could make him crumble.
dean pushes up enough to just barely rest inside of you, giving you the moment to adjust. your gasp is small, breathless. he stops instantly, his hand on your thigh loosening its grip. your face twists into a frown. "i didn't say red light," you grumble through the pout, and he's always been a sucker for that little pout, as much as he is for when you sink your teeth into the puffy lip.
his laugh is warm, free hand raising in surrender again. "sorry, baby, jus' lookin' out for you."
you start to sink down further on him yourself with nothing but his hand in guidance. your eyes are wide, your lips parted in a soundless 'o', but you don't tell him to stop, and he trusts you enough to know that you would, if you needed it. he couldn't helicopter monitor you just because he was afraid of breaking the pretty thing he'd grown so attached to.
it's a tight fit, being inside of you. he can feel every bit of your walls expanding to fit him, and he tries not to groan, tries to not get too ahead of himself, but goddamn. months of fantasizing about this, of denying himself those same fantasies out of fear of ruining the trust you were building between each other, comes nowhere near the reality of how it feels to have you in his arms.
your head drops to press against his, and dean's unable to resist the way he leans up to peck a kiss to your mouth. a quick one, light and easy, that you take as a sign to deepen. your teeth scrape his lip, your tongue explores the expanse of his mouth, and dean takes this distraction from the discomfort he knew you were feeling to push the rest of the way inside of you.
you whine on his lips, and he kisses away the little noises. "i know," dean mumbles on your mouth, "it's okay."
the red light is unspoken, but he's not about to push you, or overstep anyways. you trace shapes with your fingertips on his bare chest, worrying at your bottom lip with your teeth.
"green light," you say after a few moments, and a few more soft kisses from him in the crook of your shoulder.
dean nods, leaving a last lingering kiss on your collarbone before he shifts enough to properly start to move inside of you. the thrusts are shallow and gentle, letting you get a feel for it, letting you adjust to his size.
your forehead drops to rest on his shoulder, each little whimper twisting at his heart, even if the sounds of them were beginning to get louder and less strained.
"feelin' better?" he asks, all of the strain from your voice stolen and bottled up in his. the way that you squeeze around him has all of his rational thought fogging, and it takes a conscious effort to be gentle with you. this wasn't about dean; it was about you.
you nod once, your hair tickling at his chest. he's about to keep up the slow pace, to keep going as gently as possible, until you sit up a little straighter and start to meet each of his thrusts with a grind of your hips. dean's head knocks against the passenger window, his breath leaving his mouth in a shudder.
you must like it, too, because you let out a breathless laugh. you grab his hands and hold his fingers between yours, letting them fall to rest on his stomach. it's that game again; you doing something to keep up with what he's doing.
dean grins as he watches you, the tight expression on your face melding into something a little more wild and free. he's never seen you like this. he'd take a picture if he wasn't absolutely certain that you and him were gonna do this again.
again, he moves your hand to his mouth to kiss your knuckles this time, his groan reverberating through your fingers. you match him so easily, like you were made for whatever he gave to you. your increasing confidence makes him feel comfortable enough to speed up, his other arm braced on the back of the seats for stability as he rolls his hips deeper into you.
your head tips backwards with the first real moan he's ever heard out of you. your reckless abandon is utterly disarming. he sits up straighter, letting go of your hand to wrap his arm around your waist, holding you pressed against him as he buries himself inside of you.
your hands tremble as they lock onto his face, holding it to be nose to nose with him. you're panting on his mouth, and he can't stop staring at your lips, and he's so deep inside of you that he can feel the tip against your cervix, deep enough to make a rough groan slip out of his throat.
there was no need for kissing lessons. you would have figured it out on your own, dean's sure of it, with how you tilt his head back to suck his top lip between yours, tongue languid against his.
it's embarrassing how close he is to coming already. how couldn't he? he was enamored, transfixed, and getting this little taste of you was intoxicating. your fingers move from his cheeks to his jaw, clawing at his lip, tugging the bottom one down as you ride him.
he lets you. he'd let you do anything.
dean's thumb finds it's way between your legs, slipping between your slick folds to rub gentle circles into your clit. your thighs clench around his, grinding your hips down further onto his, against his hand.
his head tilts up to capture your mouth again, wanting to taste each moan that you let out, to swallow your pleasure and keep it to himself, where no one else can ever see it. each of those shuddering moans gets louder, more frantic, and he knows you're close.
"dean," you whisper into his mouth, and dean wants to hear his name said like this every time from you, now. breathless, desperate, and as needy as he felt.
he thumbs more deliberately at the swollen nub, pressing a final kiss to your mouth before he works little hot kisses down your jaw, your neck. "dean, i--"
"it's okay," his voice is as rough as gravel. "that's how it's supposed to feel." he knows your head like his own, knows from the frenzied breath into his shoulder that you're going to come, and that it must be a little much, trying to live through those feelings and try to figure them out. "it's supposed to, okay? jus' let go, i've got you."
dean would always have you. he loved you too much to let go.
that thought is what breaks his resolve. his thrusts become more sloppy, harder than he should probably be with you, but he loves you, and it's ruining him to not show it, or tell you. the car is thick with hot air, the windows are foggy, his skin is sticking to the leather seats, but he loves you.
you come apart on top of him with the moonlight still bathing you in a halo's glow. your hips still, your fingers claw at his face, scratching red marks into his stubble, and you cry out a moan against his lips.
he loves you, he loves you, he loves you. his hips stutter to a stop inside of you, a gasping groan punctuating his pants into the column of your throat, his cock twitching inside of you as his cum fills you. he'd worry about that later. or maybe he wouldn't. he didn't care about anything in the world besides how much he loves you.
dean doesn't realize he's whispering it out loud until he registers that pretty laugh of yours.
your hair is stuck to your forehead, your skin glassy with sweat in the pale moonlight, and the halo of the moon still hangs above your head. you're the most divine thing he's ever seen, the closest to divinity he's ever let himself be.
"you love me?" you ask, your eyes so sweet and so warm as they watch him.
dean leans up to kiss each corner of your mouth. "where'd you get that impression?"
he can never tell when you'll be matter-of-fact or when you'll play around. he forgets sometimes all of the things he's taught you, every bad idea you've got wedged in your mind because of his influence. dean winchester never wanted to corrupt you or your innocence, but he knew he'd always end up pulling you into the dark with him. you were stuck together, after all, now that he'd embedded himself to you for saving his life.
"i had a hunch." your head tilts up pridefully, chin jutted out. the act is cute while it lasts but falls apart instantly when you start to laugh again. dean's never heard you laugh so much since you'd met. how'd he get so lucky?
the car ride back to the motel is peaceful, the frigid air conditioning blasting to try and clear the fog from the windows and cool the sweat on your skin. the entire time, dean's hand is on your thigh, and the entire time, you don't move it. the moon follows his angel out the window the entire drive, like it knows, too, that you were as divine as beings could be.
sam calls two miles from the motel. "everything okay?" he asks, genuine concern in his voice. "it's been at least an hour. i didn't think you could get lost on a beer trip in this town."
beer. liquor store. alcohol run. it all comes back to dean now that his head is a little more clear.
"oh," is all dean can say for a few seconds, gaze flickering over to you in the passenger seat. you pick at the threads on his jacket he'd given to you, head downturned to unsuccessfully hide your laugh, "got sidetracked. we'll be back in twenty or so."
it was sam's turn to be silent. his following laugh is more like a scoff than anything else. "jesus christ, dean."
"blame dove," dean cackles into the speaker, eyes fond as he glances over at you again. he makes a (definitely illegal) u-turn at the same stoplight that acted as the tipping point for the night's event back in the direction of the liquor store. "she's the one who needed taught how to kiss."
tags, @figthoughts @jasvtsc @titsout4jackles @deanswidow @deansbite @whisperingwillowxox @bombarda-babe @whyyouegg @loverslantern @bitchykittenconnoisseur @jensenacklesantidote @keira-kaz2y5 @sthefferrete @depressionbarbie2023 @honeyryewhiskey @ultravi0lence14 @bleuatlas @minettacreekk @moonstruksandco @moodyquesadilla @severe-mental-illness @cevansbaby-dove @deansbeer @bluestrd @mccartneyqp @im-bili @chevroletdean @angelblqde @lyarr24 @psyches-reid @momoewn @globetrotter28 @starzify @jackleslvr @ryngzmn @aileenunfiltered @beausling @frosttbitessam @amberlthomas
#──★ dahlia's jrnl#──★ dean x saga#dean winchester x angel!reader#angel!reader#jensen ackles#jensen fucking ackles#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#dean winchester one shot#dean winchester smut#spn#supernatural#supernatural one shot#spn one shot
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Hola otra vez! For anyone not familiar with my annoying rambly feedback, ahead there be
This is the end of the first paragraph of the story and it's just so fcking ... like it works SO well for me, it makes me wanna spike a football
it's hard to find places where he's thought of as a stranger. no familiar faces, no conversation, no fuss. just logan, a bottle of whisky and time.
logan had no reason to keep count. until he saw you.
Well, if there's any indication a man is smitten, I'd say it's when he decides to keep counting after 200 years on Earth cuz of YOU *ded*
the bar was busy, as it normally was. he didn't mind it this way, less attention on him, less chances of someone trying to pick a fight with a specific stranger. not that they'd win, but logan had grown too tired for petty fights these days.
It's super interesting to think about Logan in relation to time and age. We just went from him deciding he's got a reason to keep counting the years to him being so tired that he doesn't want to get into petty fights. And as someone who grew up with Logan on the XMen cartoon lol, I know Logan to BE petty. So whilst we can't always think of Logan in terms of age, cuz looking at his appearance can make us forget, to hear that he's so TIRED that he doesn't even wanna squabble up on occasion? Well, that's impactful. The author makes it hit home in this other way and I really like it.
And here's another example of the author getting across to us where Logan is at when we meet him in life:
you're easy on the eyes, especially to these tired old hues that have grown accustomed to staring at the same old walls.
Straight up now we have the word tired, but also old. And not in relation to himself, but what he's got eyes on. It's such a clever thing the author has done here, and I really am appreciative of it.
logan can't let himself look too much, he isn't allowed nice things, especially not pretty little things such as yourself. he's poison, tainting everything he touches, spoiling it. he's experienced enough heartbreak, enough losses for a lifetime and more.
Sad face. This is very in line with the Logan I think most of us know (and adore). Gotta take all the blame, gotta punish yourself, gotta try to protect others from you by denying yourself connections. Wanna hug him.
he wonders if you know most of the tips you receive by the end of the night are from him. you're diligent, you work hard, and you deserve more than the minimum wage you're probably getting.
Also very on brand for Logan. Sees a need, fills the need, but doesn't want credit for it. He's also seeing someone he believes is worthy (and perhaps not in a way he feels he could ever be?) of more so he tries to be the provider.
it's not even lust on his mind either, he just finds himself captivated by your presence. he wonders about your life, your interests, your dreams. . .
And again, we are seeing how smitten he is because the man who has been painted as weary and bored suddenly has questions and wonderings again. That is, in the context of Logan's long a$$ existence, quite magical. But that magic is immediately followed by
though he'd be lying if he said he'd never pictured bending you over against the bar and fucking you senseless. he is an animal, after all.
and it's like
relying on others was a weakness. besides, what would you be to him but just another person he'd lose someday? it wasn't worth it. you weren't worth it. fuck.
"Relying on others was a weakness" is just hella relatable to me, so I key in on that. And then that ire being followed by showing vulnerability by thinking of her as another person he'd lose; Logan's heart has always been huge and you just know he remembers the faces and details of each person he has had to lose and she has that status already. Logan trying to lie to himself with the "not worth it" talk only to have to curse himself cuz he KNOW he's lying is also peak Logan behavior, and once again on a personal level, hiiiiiiiiiiiiiighly relatable lol. I'm always lying to myself about my own feelings.
you were strangers, this was stupid, it was all fucking stupid. but the mind of a lonely old man is a desperate one, and what logan really craves isn't just eye candy.
"Lonely and desperate" self descriptions and Logan referring to himself as "stupid." I'm sure we all wanna shake this old man, right? LOL because when he let's himself think about the truth:
he craves a touch, that first touch that sparks electricity throughout your every nerve ending, causes goosebumps to ripple along the skins surface. he craves something, anything. he was so fucking hungry. always so fucking hungry. a rumbling hunger that starts at the pit of his stomach and gnaws through him like a rabid animal frantically trying to escape a suffocating metal cage. it's a hunger he can't satisfy, he knows he can't satisfy. but he'd been alone so long.
It's connection, and it's gnawing at him. Loneliness is a helluva thing, and I think a lot of us know this. But this author is shining in the way she is describing it for us, outside of the usual age/years gone by methods. Tired, lonely, and now ravenous. And while we are in the space of a more spiritual hunger, here, it so easily slides right back to physical as well because he's thinking about a woman and wonders
surely one bite couldn't hurt?
Me literally screaming into my pumpkin pillow cuz I'm like NO IT COULDN'T LOGAN, GO GET HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR cuz I know what's gonna follow is gonna be liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
switching bars wasn't particularly appealing to him, but it was better than having to look at you and feel that familiar ache.
The self loathing and denial is top tier Logan. He will inconvenience and punish himself just as long as it's in line with denying himself cuz he just "doesn't deserve it." Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
Logan then proceeds to go drain the snake before he beings his newest self inflicted penance, but she comes in to clean the bathrooms thinking they were empty.
Gurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl lol
your eyes lock on one another for just a split second before you quickly busy yourself with the mop again. but that split second was enough. it was enough to notice how you were looking at him.
HOW WAS SHE LOOKING AT YOU, LOGAN?!?! It's funny how if it was almost any other man, I'd snort and be like, sure buddy. But it's Logan so I have ZERO issue believing whatever he saw in her eyes let her know she DOES indeed know him and want ... well, something.
you lean back against the bathroom stall divider, eyes drifting across logan's figure. he was tall, big. this is the first time you're really able to look at him, to study the features of his face. this time he's not hiding behind a glass or a bottle.
How interesting to see the contrast of her view of Logan because while he's always looking at her and sworn that he never caught her looking his way, she's letting us know she has definitely looked his way enough to notice he was a man in hiding. And she actually acted respectfully to respect that and not ogle him, which bummed Logan out lol.
the hunger in his gaze is obvious, but it's dulled, like he's just barely holding back. you think he looks lonely, there's a distinct air about him that practically screams that he needs to be touched.
Oof, she's intuitive! So she SEES what he needs and seems to be quite willing to, ahem, deliver for him but WILL HE LET HER is the big question.
logan pushes himself from the sink and approaches you slowly. was he really doing this? after a month of pining and longing for you, a stranger in a bar, was he really going to give in to his desires? would you let him? the lust was clear in your eyes and he knew he was reflecting it right back tenfold.
you eye the stranger who's been watching you, tipping you. of course you've noticed, you'd have to be pretty stupid or oblivious not to. you've come to expect him at each shift, but his presence intrigued you more than the other regulars. not just because he was more handsome, considerably more handsome. no, it was those sad eyes that seemed to say a million words while his mouth remained firmly shut that had you curious. even now as he stands before you so silent you could hear a pin drop, when you look into his eyes you can feel a sea of words brewing.
I do so love the fact that she's intuitive, curious and sees beyond the big burly handsome cover. He never speaks but look at his eyes and boy, are there a thousand stories waiting to be told. And it's the SAME WAY in the present with her. Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike, it's about to go off.
oh how you wanted to open him up, to peer inside behind that rough exterior, to take a peek behind the facade. you're sure you're easier to read than he is.
Again, I love that this goes beyond physical with her and that she's genuinely intrigued by him and by what probably most others don't see in Logan.
"i've seen you, you know," you mumble bravely, "looking at me." logan doesn't seem surprised, he brings a hand up to hold your chin, turning your face from side to side to get a proper look at you now that he has you up close. "yeah?" "yeah," you reply shakily, "thought i was imagining it at first. but by the second night it was obvious." he smirks, so he's not as subtle as he thinks.
No because how is he the King of Self Denial but somehow automatically is giving Dom the first time he approaches a woman he means to get to know? Not even embarrassing at being caught at his blatant perusal of her. SIR.
logan grips your wrists, not the suit. he wasn't talking about that now, he had to shut you up.
When I tell you this BROKE me. King of Self Inflicted Penance. I stg. And it's quite the conundrum to be going through an emotional gut punch when it's immediately followed up with
he leans in, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss as his strong hands keep a firm grip on your wrists. you submit, leaning back against the cubicle divider as you let him slip his tongue into your mouth.
and we know it is OFF TO THE RACES!!!
"taste so fuckin' sweet," he mumbles against your lips, kissing you between words, "you do this often? let men kiss you in the bathroom?" you mumble a 'no' under your breath, ". . . just the ones who tip good," you grin.
OH SH!T, WE HAVE HAN AND LEIA BANTER! They are my OTP so I'm always gonna call a combative in love couple that, but this dynamic is MY JAM and I love that what we seem to have here is a clearly dominant male with a bratty female. I am in Heaven lol
logan feels himself chuckling, biting your lower lip. oh, he liked you.
WE DO TOO, LOGAN!
his hand travels upwards, finding purchase around your neck. you gasp in response, moaning. he eagerly swallows your moan with his mouth, drowning out any sound that threatens to escape.
Always a trip when I am personally attacked by a fic lmaoooooooooo
he kisses you like a man starved, like he'd devour you if you let him. and you would, you think, if it felt this good.
"shhh, shhh," he whispers against your lips, "feel good? i know it feels good, but you gotta stay nice and quiet."
I want to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie at the giving of instructions and reminder that, HEY WE ARE IN PUBLIC but we are absolutely NOT stopping.
"you wanted this just as much as i did, huh?" he growls into your ear, "need it, need me to fuck you."
Excellent dirty taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalk
he nods against the side of your cheek, his stubble scratching against your soft skin, "there we go, attagirl. . ."
And he praises? *dies again*
"yeah i am," logan smirks, he knows he's big, and he knows exactly how to use it. you just have time to gasp before you feel one of his hands connect harshly with your skin, the sound ringing out in the small bathroom of the bar.
"you've been thinkin' about this since you started your shift," logan says confidently, his words confirmed by how you drip around him, "thought about me fillin' you up, nice and full?"
I once again must mention top tier dirty talk!
and fuck does it make him harder to know that you've thought about this just as much as he has.
Once again, Logan's vulnerability is illustrated here because it's very human and natural to WANT TO BE WANTED so that it's exciting for him makes all the sense.
he knows if he lets you look at him, look up at him for too long, he'll lose it. he can't have your soft eyes on him while he fucks you, he doesn't deserve it.
*shakes him* He's still so Logan. Trying to convince himself again he is just not worthy. But I also do this to myself which is no doubt why I key on it, mention it, react to it. That just means the author is striking a chord with me and isn't that what we want? To feel resonance and know we are not alone in our experiences?
because he can't describe the shame that swirls in his stomach, that this is how he relieves himself, a quick fuck in a bar. this dirty older man who's seen so much sin, perpetuated sin with his own hands, who longed for the young pretty little thing in the bar. logan doesn't deserve nice things, this he knows.
It's a jarring feeling to be really into some hot smut and then have there be an intermission of this caliber. Cuz again, we are seeing into Logan's heart and his internal self who just screams and screams about not being worthy. And it's so painful and wretched for us as an audience cuz we KNOW it's not true and we just wish HE WOULD SEE IT.
you can't help but smirk, mouth stuck open as you moan softly, he likes it when you talk to him during, huh?
Even in her blissful state, she is noticing what he likes and trying to provide that for him and I love her for considering him and being thoughtful with him. HE doesn't think he deserves it, but we readers know that he absolutely does so it's sweetness in this midst of lust and shows us that she cares beyond whatever is happening now in this bathroom.
Y'all NEED to go read this cuz the smut is rough but because of the well established connection the author built between these two, it's very intimate despite the circumstances which don't necessarily lend themselves to anything other than a "quickie." Because of what's going on between these two and how well laid out that is for us, we know that the reason this is so rough and intimate is BECAUSE it's not meant for just here and now. But will Logan allow anything more?
standing on trembling legs, you lean up, giving him a surprisingly soft kiss. your hands take over his, helping him back into his jeans, zipping them up, clasping the buttons together and buckling his belt. all the while your lips are on his, slowly, passionately intertwining together.
And again, I love her for her thoughtfulness. She's being soft and tender with him. I'm not sure if it's a conscious effort to keep him from screwing things up (by trying to now brush her off) or if it's just naturally who she is and giving into her instinct to want to be gentle with him and keep him close. Either way, I love love love this moment.
". . . does that count as your tip for the night?" you joke with a smirk, hoping to see a flash of his smile again, hoping to alleviate some of that shame he's carrying.
Adore her for infusing humor into the situation and wanting to bring light back into his eyes. Whoever is going to be with Logan needs to have a sense of humor and give him as good as he gives.
the shame seems to settle, begins to dissipate. it feels less like satisfying an urge and more like. . . exploring something new. his eyes drift back to you.
Is Logan ACTUALLY going to give this thing a chance, and more importantly, HIMSELF a chance?!?!
I hate to quote too much in a story, especially an ending becuase I WANT PEOPLE TO GO READ FOR THEMSELVES but I need @silverskyeline to know that the last 3 paragraphs of this piece are SO FCKING GOOD.
The breakthrough and revelation he has, the tentative willingness to let himself release a burden and not self flagellate? OMGGGGGGGGGGG. Literally all the applause and bravo on this amazing piece. I really really fcking enjoyed it and am so grateful to you for creating and sharing.
It's really a wonderful character analysis or look at who Logan is, the person he think he has to be, with some hot smut that actually isn't a pause in the narrative but continues the throughline of exploring who he is and what he thinks he deserves and how he's giving himself permission to be a man again. I just ... I love this so so much. Thank you again.
'hunger' 18+
worst!wolverine x f!reader (3.9k words) summary: logan can't tear his mind away from the new barmaid at his usual haunt. he tries to resist you, he really does. but when you're both alone in the bathroom, he finds he's not the only one plagued with filthy thoughts. tags: for the 'longing' prompt for logan promptober, set in the bar from the movie, kind of angsty, filthy, pent up logan, alcohol consumption, doggy style, creampie, biting, light choking, pinning wrists, hair pulling, spanking, rough sex, implied age gap, sweet ending.
his usual haunts offer comfort, safe nests tucked away down isolated roads, usually requiring quite the drive to find - it's hard to find places where he's thought of as a stranger. no familiar faces, no conversation, no fuss. just logan, a bottle of whisky and time.
time spent staring into the grain of the old wood on the bar wondering how the fuck he ended up here. he'd stopped keeping count a long time ago, how long he'd been around, been alive. things get kind of hazy after two hundred years. logan had no reason to keep count.
until he saw you.
the bar was busy, as it normally was. he didn't mind it this way, less attention on him, less chances of someone trying to pick a fight with a specific stranger. not that they'd win, but logan had grown too tired for petty fights these days.
he's sat at the bar when the bartender clocks off, switching with someone new, someone he'd never seen before. you walk in and his eyes immediately scan your face, your build, your outfit. it's a habit of his, one he hoped he'd grow out of - but logan has learned that he'll never stop assessing for new threats. it's just in his dna.
but what he finds isn't a threat.
you're easy on the eyes, especially to these tired old hues that have grown accustomed to staring at the same old walls. he drags his eyes back down to his glass like he's forcing himself to look down the barrel of a gun rather than looking at you, before settling on you once more.
logan can't let himself look too much, he isn't allowed nice things, especially not pretty little things such as yourself. he's poison, tainting everything he touches, spoiling it. he's experienced enough heartbreak, enough losses for a lifetime and more.
. . . but what harm can looking do?
a few weeks pass, logan notices you're in every few nights from now on, must have been put on the regular rota. he wonders if you know most of the tips you receive by the end of the night are from him. you're diligent, you work hard, and you deserve more than the minimum wage you're probably getting.
you've never noticed him, or at least, he's never caught you looking in his direction. but he finds himself craving it, willing your eyes to meet his even for a second. the extent of your interactions have been sliding a glass or a bottle in his direction before continuing with your other duties.
it's not even lust on his mind either, he just finds himself captivated by your presence. he wonders about your life, your interests, your dreams. . . though he'd be lying if he said he'd never pictured bending you over against the bar and fucking you senseless.
he is an animal, after all.
he wonders if he should switch bars just to distance himself. he couldn't let himself become comfortable with the idea of you. relying on others was a weakness. besides, what would you be to him but just another person he'd lose someday? it wasn't worth it. you weren't worth it.
fuck.
logan curses himself under his breath for even having this internal debate. you were strangers, this was stupid, it was all fucking stupid. but the mind of a lonely old man is a desperate one, and what logan really craves isn't just eye candy. he craves a touch, that first touch that sparks electricity throughout your every nerve ending, causes goosebumps to ripple along the skins surface. he craves something, anything.
he was so fucking hungry. always so fucking hungry. a rumbling hunger that starts at the pit of his stomach and gnaws through him like a rabid animal frantically trying to escape a suffocating metal cage. it's a hunger he can't satisfy, he knows he can't satisfy. but he'd been alone so long.
surely one bite couldn't hurt?
no, he finds himself shaking his head as he stands from the bar. he'd take a leak, and leave early. it'd only been a month since he first saw you, he could get over this. switching bars wasn't particularly appealing to him, but it was better than having to look at you and feel that familiar ache.
the bathroom door swings open and he walks inside, situating himself at one of the urinals. a few moments later, the door swings open again, logan doesn't bother to look over.
"oh, thought these were empty, sorry."
his head turns quickly. it's you, mop in hand. there's an uncomfortable silence that follows.
speak, fucking speak. "it's fine."
you pause, then nod a little and begin mopping the floor.
his eyes are back on the urinal, swallowing hard. was this really going to be your first conversation? with his eyes glaring into old porcelain, dick in his hand? he tries not to picture you stealing glances at him, but he can't help it. is that what he wants?
maybe.
finishing up, he quickly makes his way over to the sinks, pushing his hands under the cool water and rubbing with soap. his eyes flit up to the mirror. and he catches you.
your eyes lock on one another for just a split second before you quickly busy yourself with the mop again.
but that split second was enough. it was enough to notice how you were looking at him.
"all done," you say with a sigh after a few moments, standing straight and gripping the mop but making no effort to leave just yet.
logan eyes you in the mirror, watches how your eyes dance across the room before inevitably landing on him again. he turns to face you, noting the distance between you both in the room.
you lean back against the bathroom stall divider, eyes drifting across logan's figure. he was tall, big. this is the first time you're really able to look at him, to study the features of his face. this time he's not hiding behind a glass or a bottle.
the hunger in his gaze is obvious, but it's dulled, like he's just barely holding back. you think he looks lonely, there's a distinct air about him that practically screams that he needs to be touched.
you rest your mop against the wall, "you're in here often." you state, it's not a question.
"guess i'm a regular," he replies curtly.
swallowing hard, you continue, "i noticed. i always have to restock the whisky when you come by."
logan pushes himself from the sink and approaches you slowly. was he really doing this? after a month of pining and longing for you, a stranger in a bar, was he really going to give in to his desires? would you let him? the lust was clear in your eyes and he knew he was reflecting it right back tenfold.
"i like a drink." he says with a subtle shrug, just a step away now, eyes never leaving yours.
a small smile tugs at your lips, "i know."
you're not sure what you're really doing. you're supposed to be on shift, designated five minutes to clean the bathrooms. five minutes you'd much rather spend doing someone something else.
you eye the stranger who's been watching you, tipping you. of course you've noticed, you'd have to be pretty stupid or oblivious not to. you've come to expect him at each shift, but his presence intrigued you more than the other regulars. not just because he was more handsome, considerably more handsome.
no, it was those sad eyes that seemed to say a million words while his mouth remained firmly shut that had you curious. even now as he stands before you so silent you could hear a pin drop, when you look into his eyes you can feel a sea of words brewing.
oh how you wanted to open him up, to peer inside behind that rough exterior, to take a peek behind the facade. you're sure you're easier to read than he is.
you're not sure when or how it happened, but he's right in front of you now, his body almost touching yours. you look up at him with a feigned innocent look.
"i've seen you, you know," you mumble bravely, "looking at me."
logan doesn't seem surprised, he brings a hand up to hold your chin, turning your face from side to side to get a proper look at you now that he has you up close. "yeah?"
"yeah," you reply shakily, "thought i was imagining it at first. but by the second night it was obvious."
he smirks, so he's not as subtle as he thinks.
your hands snake down, finding his belt buckle and brazingly begin to unbuckle it. he watches you, eyes fixated on the way your fingers move. he swears he's about to start drooling. but then you move, hands winding up to the buttons on his shirt. you splay your hands across the fabric, eyes widening when you feel what's underneath.
"are you. . . is that-"
logan grips your wrists, not the suit. he wasn't talking about that now, he had to shut you up. he leans in, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss as his strong hands keep a firm grip on your wrists. you submit, leaning back against the cubicle divider as you let him slip his tongue into your mouth.
he moans, relishing the taste of you, the taste he's thought about for so fucking long. he brings your hands up, pinning them above your head, shifting his grip so one hand easily pins your wrists, leaving his other hand free.
his free hand plants firmly across your upper chest, the rough pads of his fingers brushing against your collarbone as he explores your mouth with his tongue. you're lost in the sensation, knees going weak as you allow the older man to have his way with you. he needs this, you know it.
"taste so fuckin' sweet," he mumbles against your lips, kissing you between words, "you do this often? let men kiss you in the bathroom?"
you mumble a 'no' under your breath, ". . . just the ones who tip good," you grin.
logan feels himself chuckling, biting your lower lip. oh, he liked you. his hand travels upwards, finding purchase around your neck. you gasp in response, moaning. he eagerly swallows your moan with his mouth, drowning out any sound that threatens to escape.
the kiss grows in intensity, you wonder how long it's been since he's kissed someone. he kisses you like a man starved, like he'd devour you if you let him. and you would, you think, if it felt this good.
his hand on your neck gives a gentle squeeze before running down your torso, palming at your jeans suddenly. you try to whimper in pleasure, but he's silencing you with his lips again.
"shhh, shhh," he whispers against your lips, "feel good? i know it feels good, but you gotta stay nice and quiet." logan can feel the material of your jeans begin to damp and he resists the urge to growl, feeling the way the fabric beneath gives way.
you nod, whispering small affirmatives as he touches you through the material. "just give me more," you whine.
and that spurs him on. in a flash he's pushing you into the stall, stealing a few more kisses where he can before he turns you, pushing your back against his chest. his lips find your neck, pressing hot open-mouthed kisses along the skin he finds there.
you're like putty in his hands, melting back against him as his hand returns to your crotch, rough hands massaging circles against your clothed core. you resist a moan, exhaling shakily instead as you let him use you.
"you wanted this just as much as i did, huh?" he growls into your ear, "need it, need me to fuck you."
you nod quickly as you feel his lips curve into a smirk against your skin.
"yeah, thought so," he nibbles on your earlobe, breathing deeply through his nose as he tries to steady himself, preserve the moment. but how can he when you feel this good beneath his fingers, taste this good on his tongue? "tell me you want it."
"want you to fuck me," you whimper almost immediately, suddenly feeling so very needy. there's a hot ache growing between your legs, one you're desperate for him to fill.
logan laughs, "you can do better than that, honey, know you can."
"please," your voice cracks and you swallow back moans as you squirm beneath his touch, "please fuck me-" it becomes apparent to you at that moment that you don't even know his name. your cheeks flush at the thought of letting this stranger, this older man fuck you in the bar bathroom, but actually, you kind of like it that way.
he nods against the side of your cheek, his stubble scratching against your soft skin, "there we go, attagirl. . ."
with that, he pushes you forward, forcing your hands onto the tank of the toilet to support yourself as he bends you over. his hands find your waist, his hips connecting with yours and slowly grinding his very apparent, large bulge against you.
you let out a whimper, arching your back a little at the sudden contact.
"feel that?" he mumbles, guiding your hips to grind back against him, "feel what you do to me?"
a gasp, "fuck, you're big." you can already tell, the way his bulge is pressing against you, demanding to be felt. you swear you can almost feel it throb through the material.
"yeah i am," logan smirks, he knows he's big, and he knows exactly how to use it.
pulling back slightly, he roughly pulls your jeans down, practically manhandling you, your underwear disappearing with it. he grabs handfuls of your ass before kneading the skin. "look at that, pretty little ass, all for me."
you just have time to gasp before you feel one of his hands connect harshly with your skin, the sound ringing out in the small bathroom of the bar. "f-fuck!" you whine, feeling the sharp sting, knowing there's a bright red imprint in the shape of his large palm on your ass.
there's some jingling, the sound of his belt being moved out of the way, a zipper. you prepare yourself, or at least you try to, but his cock is already slapping against your backside before you have time to steady your hazy mind.
"you gonna take all of me?" he asks, biting his lip as his aching length slaps against your skin, "think you can?"
you nod quickly, looking over your shoulder at him, "mhm!"
"if you say so. . ." he smirks and positions himself, one hand on your hip and one aiming his cock at your tight little hole.
then, all at once he's sinking in. you gasp, he gasps. and fuck, he is big. you feel that sweet stretch, his cock throbbing against your tight walls as it slowly glides inside. you're whining as it slowly fills you, eyes rolling back at the sensation. but he pulls out a little, only to push back in again.
he's working you up just right, mesmerised by the way you take his cock. his eyes are fixed on your tight hole begging him to enter, loving the slick sound as it pushes inside.
"you've been thinkin' about this since you started your shift," logan says confidently, his words confirmed by how you drip around him, "thought about me fillin' you up, nice and full?"
despite the way your cheeks flush bright red, you can't deny it. you've thought about it more than once, fantasised about it in bed, hoping that one day that stranger from the bar would fuck you so good you forget your own name.
you don't need to reply either, because he knows. he knows from the way your wet hole flutters around him, and fuck does it make him harder to know that you've thought about this just as much as he has. he begins to pump into you at a leisurely pace, firm hands on your hips.
"holy fuck, so fuckin' tight," logan grumbles, his deep slow strokes hitting you deep as he bottoms out inside of you.
you try to turn your head, to look up at him, but he grasps the back of your hair, pushing your head down. "nu-uh, keep that head down."
he knows if he lets you look at him, look up at him for too long, he'll lose it. he can't have your soft eyes on him while he fucks you, he doesn't deserve it. he'll take you, just like this, with your head down and your ass up and his cock buried deep inside you.
because he can't describe the shame that swirls in his stomach, that this is how he relieves himself, a quick fuck in a bar. this dirty older man who's seen so much sin, perpetuated sin with his own hands, who longed for the young pretty little thing in the bar. logan doesn't deserve nice things, this he knows.
you feel his thrusts grow rougher, your legs slipping apart as you attempt to hold yourself up, hands planted firmly on the tank of the toilet. you're squeaking softly with each pump, feeling him use you to release his pent-up frustrations. and it felt so fucking good.
with his firm grip on your hair tightening by the second and his other large hand digging into your hip, you begin to bounce back against his motions, sending him even deeper. you both moan in sync with the feeling and you pant softly, cheeks flushing further at the soft 'plap plap plap' of his hips connecting with you, the sound reverberating around the small cubicle.
"that feels so fucking good," you sing, closing your eyes. logan gives a particularly hard thrust, speed picking up. you can't help but smirk, mouth stuck open as you moan softly, he likes it when you talk to him during, huh? "keep fuckin' me, just like that, so good. . ."
he groans, wrapping your hair around his fist as he relentlessly pounds into you. harder and harder, deeper and deeper, you're sure you'll have bruises littered over your body before the day is through.
"harder!" you cry, feeling your legs tremble. you're not gonna last long like this, and by the way his cock is twitching inside of you, he isn't either. "i'm gonna cum, you're gonna make me fuckin' cum!"
another groan slips from his lips, gritting his teeth as he uses you, watching you take his throbbing cock beneath him. "look so pretty like this, bent over, takin' what i fuckin- shit. . . takin' what i give you."
your body grows hotter, sweat forming on your forehead, each impact pushing you forward roughly. you're really not gonna last long.
he begins to hunch over, his chest flush with your back as he huffs against your neck, fucking you like a rabid animal. you're squealing now, the pleasure swirling in your lower stomach, threatening to send you crashing into bliss. at this point, you don't fucking care if someone walks in and finds you like this, sees his feet planted behind yours underneath the stall. in fact, the thought of the risk sends a bolt straight to your gut.
"yes yes yes," you mutter, feeling your orgasm approaching steadily. you swear you can feel him in your guts. you begin to flutter around him, begging for release, knowing it's going to completely destroy you.
logan can't even form words, just grunts slipping from his lips against the side of your neck. and then he feels it, his cock twitches, his mind reeling with the imminent release. he needs this, oh he fucking needs this.
he bites down on your neck, teeth sinking in slightly as he feels himself release deep inside you, his cum spilling out in strong waves. you feel your knees buckle, but a strong hand planted on your tummy helps keep you upright as he fucks his release deeper into you.
the animalistic nature of his thrusts combined with the sensation of his hot cum painting your insides sends you flying over the edge, your orgasm milking him as you clamp around his aching cock. he slams his hand against the stall wall with a loud metallic bang, splaying his fingers across the metal as if to ground himself as his thrusts falter.
his tongue lazily licks the indents of his bite mark against your neck, groans easing their way from the back of his throat. you can hardly catch your breath, legs still shaking from such an intense release. it's hard to think straight with his dick still buried deep inside, feeling it twitch with every aftershock.
you both stay like that for a solid minute, panting, coming down together. he's planting soft kisses along your neck as your breath slowly comes back to you.
he pulls out, stepping back as he stuffs himself into his jeans. you collapse onto the toilet seat, shakily pulling your jeans and underwear back up as you look up at him. it's clear he's looking to leave, a distant look in his eye, maybe a little shame creeping into his features.
standing on trembling legs, you lean up, giving him a surprisingly soft kiss. your hands take over his, helping him back into his jeans, zipping them up, clasping the buttons together and buckling his belt. all the while your lips are on his, slowly, passionately intertwining together.
you pull back, buttoning your own jeans as you continue to look up at him. ". . . does that count as your tip for the night?" you joke with a smirk, hoping to see a flash of his smile again, hoping to alleviate some of that shame he's carrying.
and there it is, a small smirk on his lips as he glances away. "maybe."
the shame seems to settle, begins to dissipate. it feels less like satisfying an urge and more like. . . exploring something new. his eyes drift back to you.
"i'll see you tomorrow?" you ask, tilting your head.
he blinks, suddenly remembering time exists outside this small space seemingly crafted just for the two of you. "yeah," he says, quietly.
"good," you pat his chest before moving past him, leaving the stall. you stand, looking back at him. a beat, "or, you can meet me after my shift ends?"
his eyes widen, taken aback. fuck, had he forgotten how to do this? his eyes flit to the side, before making up his mind. he gives a firm nod.
you smile before leaving him in the bathroom, returning to the bar through the door.
logan stands there for a few moments, running his fingers through his hair. he smooths down his shirt, feeling the suit beneath, a stark reminder always of his past.
but maybe he could begin to take a few steps forward. maybe he deserves more than to suffer forever, forced to keep everyone at arm's length. maybe he could allow himself this small happiness, a date, or whatever this was.
maybe it was time to satisfy his hunger, his loneliness, for good.
#wolverine#logan howlett#marvel#fan fiction#feedback#drag queen#trixie mattel#bebe zahara benet#miz cracker#michelle visage#vanessa vanjie mateo#nicole byer#trinity taylor
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LOVE ON THE COURT | 38 LAST NIGHT WAS A MOVIE
SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier
WARNINGS | sexual innuendos, swearing
NOTES | smau/written/smau format for this chapter!! also we're super close to the end now gang I'm excited 😼
"Hey, come in." Y/n let Jaemin into her apartment, smiling awkwardly—something Jaemin's seen countless times before— only it had never been directed at him.
They weren't awkward. They didn't do awkward. Or, at least, they hadn't.
His heart sinks just a little.
"Hey, how have you been keeping?" Jaemin asks the question, and as natural as it feels, he wishes he hadn't asked at all. He didn't need to anyway. Not with her.
Jaemin doesn't think he had ever asked Y/n that question. It wasn't what they did, who they were. They didn't need to ask, they just knew.
And even now, when everything seems to have changed, some things are exactly the same, like how Y/n fiddles with a loose strand of her hair, and rocks back and forth on the couch.
He tries desperately to ignore the fact that she'd chosen to sit as far away from him as possible, instead waiting for an answer to his question.
But when she does speak, Jaemin can't bear to hear the response.
"I'm fin-" he interejcts, not wanting to have to see her lie to his face.
"You're nervous," he states, a matter of fact, "don't be peach." his tone softens, his eyes locked on hers, but she doesn't look his way at all.
"How are you?" Y/n's eyes are trained to the floor.
Jaemin hates it.
The question feels too empty, like they're two strangers just passing each other by. Making small talk, it wasn't something they'd ever done, and he didn't want to start now.
He can't help himself when he shuffles towards her, the soft touch of his fingers just below her chin, causing her to look up. And thought she doesn't look into his eyes just yet, Jaemin smiles, knowing she's looking at him. The racing of his heart eases just a little.
Despite the thick air in the room, the weight of the situation, despite the invisible force between them that tugged in all the wrong places, despite all those differences, one thing remained unchanged.
All these years later, Y/n looked his way just the same. Like he was everything. Her everything.
"Look at me, angel," his hand rests softly against her cheek, cradling it, as though she was the most precious thing, "it wasn't your fault."
That causes her eyes to snap upwards, meeting his.
And Jaemin sees it, clear as day, the guilt in her eyes. He wishes he could take it in his hand, pull those thoughts out of her mind and see her, the Y/n who never went through this at all. He wishes she wouldn't blame herself. He wished he could erase the memories, erase it all.
But Jaemin knew that it wasn't possible.
"Me and you," he looks at her, gaze deeper, more intense, "We're stronger than this." His voice comes deep, low and soothing, laced with such tenderness that Y/n hears her heartbeat resounding in her ears. "I won't let this ruin us anymore."
It felt like a promise. A dream.
Y/n swears she can't breathe, no amount of air enough for her to finally exhale. He was right, but somehow, it all seemed too good to be true. She found herself too caught up in everything that had passed, analysing each moment like something more was yet to come, like she'd missed something. Like a plot twist waiting to happen, a hidden truth waiting to stab her in the heart.
"I should have known better." Her words come out, barely a whisper, the ache in Jaemin's chest growing as her notices how her eyes begin to water.
"You didn't know Y/n." as much as Jaemin wants to admit his mistakes, express just how badly he wishes he'd just heard her out, listened to her side of the story just once, he can't, afraid that he'll break. And if he did, she would too.
"I just wish it never happened," she sighed, her voice shaking desperately, "i just wish you were there, I wish it wasn't us."
She almost doesn't make any sense, but that's what Jaemin was best at, understanding her when she barely understood herself."I know angel," he leaned forward, gently laying a kiss to her forehead, "but we made it, didn't we?"
Y/n gulps, nodding. Her throat feels dry despite wanting to scream out in agreement.
Jaemin's eyes overflow, with warmth, with adoration, with assurance.
They'd made it out. They always would.
"Then that's all that matters."
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feel free to ignore if you feel like it's too theoretical/parasocial/etc. but: I see how the campaign as a whole is off because of how lack of prep influenced the cast to create somewhat unfit characters, but as someone who got immensely annoyed by this episode, I'm wondering why has that throughline carried out for so long. why haven't the cast decided to start playing their characters in a way that leads to a more cohesive and satisfying story? is the hesitation and bizzare opinions on gods a very dedicated RP choice or do you think the players themselves are also at a loss? I'm honestly very confused about that, given how driven and decisive they played VM and M9 during their oneshots. I don't want to feel like I'm singling anyone out to hate but e.g. the way taliesin plays caduceus vs ashton is particularly puzzling to me.
Hey anon,
This is all highly speculative (as, to be fair, was the original idea the cast was given very little information, and that turned out to be right) but I think it's the far-reaching consequences of that initial lack of prep combined with the fact that it's been a very central-plot focused campaign that failed to allow the characters to develop into more decisive people. It also, I think, centers the Ruidusborn such that I suspect a lot of the rest of the table is taking their lead.
The Mighty Nein, we know, involved a lot of prep with Matt specifically offering feedback and vetoing certain aspects. Every character came in with pretty clear goals, and because it was a character-driven campaign we got to see those goals change as they learned more: Caleb and Fjord notably abandon their original goals in favor of new ones. Veth and Caduceus achieve theirs; Jester as well, and she develops new ones as she becomes less sheltered. Beau and Yasha's exact goals were much more nebulous, but they have the opportunity to confront their pasts at length and find new purpose and peace throughout the narrative. I don't think it's productive to rehash everything every time but: lack of pre-existing long-term relationships and more work on the short-term friendships that existed, the fact that Beau and usually Molly due to Yasha's absences (and later Caduceus) were free agents who didn't know anyone prior to their meeting, and the fact that the party had like 2 gold to their name and had to double up in odd configurations plus their willingness to engage in conflicts led to a fairly quick and deep bond, which also influenced their goals and dynamics.
Vox Machina were initially very generally sketched out characters, but after they began doing more there was a similar effort put into to backstories, and I think going back after they'd already played a bit meant they knew more about who they wanted these characters to be. The pre-stream plot, as we can tell from the origins comics, was also heavily backstory focused; the Briarwoods arc is when most people feel the streamed campaign really takes off.
We have seen the backstories of the characters of Bells Hells, but a lot of them are deeply tied into a long-running main plot that doesn't really allow for the same development over time. Like, Percy, for example, actually does his "plot" about quarter of the way into the campaign; but this kickstarts his development. Fjord is rather similar; he learns the source of his powers quite early on, but grapples with them until the halfway point and then the rest of the campaign is him embracing something new. To compare, I suspect Laura envisoned Imogen's story as being not dissimilar in the sense of "learn what my powers come from, find a way to better control or perhaps get rid of them" and so upon finding out this is the lynchpin of the entire plot, Imogen never has that post-resolution time to cook, essentially. Even for those who had slightly more rewarding plot beats they kind of felt like "let's address this problem so we can get back to the moon stuff" (Chetney, Laudna) and in some cases, I think it felt to the players, rightly or wrongly, like those plots were actively rushed to the point that they couldn't explore them (I suspect this happened for Ashton during the solstice split). There's been a hurry-up-and-wait sense of urgency over the whole campaign because it's a plot that was introduced very early and has never let up. There's been no "what do we do" type breaks and I'd be shocked if there are. We've sort of run out of plot because we've speed run everything that would have been a plot in a different campaign.
So I think the players don't know how to evolve their characters because there's been no in-world impetus to evolve, really. Now, as someone who prefers to play people who are already decisive, the fact that most of the cast went for kind of indecisive/impulsive types isn't my bag, but that is valid; but it means no one's really had the chance to organically move from that.
I also think that the fact that there's one big plot that really centers the ruidusborn is another factor. Even if Orym, for example, were the type to shut down the party, what is one person who can't reasonably stop two spellcasters from going into the Hallowed Cage going to do? I think this post makes a good point; I think putting the pressure very heavily on two players who (very understandably! for a number of reasons!) are among the most averse to making a hard and potentially alienating or unpopular choice has sort of prevented anyone else from taking a wild swing. The other campaigns had a much more even distribution of who could make decisions within the party, and I think that reflects that. I also think this is uniquely an issue for longform campaigns; I haven't seen this hesitancy from Laura nor Ashley in Candela, Downfall, nor in the various Daggerheart one-shots and miniseries, since you have to swing big there.
I do want to cover one point specifically, which is that I actually find Ashton to be one of the better played characters. I disagree with them, to be sure, but like, Caduceus is a character who can be arrogant in his fairly limited worldview, but who is also consistently very empathetic and kind. Ashton has that arrogance, but without those priorities. Caduceus isn't really invested in hurting those who hurt him; he's interested in stopping those who would hurt his home, family, or friends, and if that requires hurting them he's okay with that. Ashton really does want to beat up those they deem responsible for their own pain, justified or not. I think taking the shard was a great move and stand by that [though, admittedly, it and the bit about Predathos needing a vessel just now have me like. the consequences have been conveyed in a crystal clear manner to ME and somehow the cast is not getting Matt flat-out saying in game THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN, so idk what's up with THAT.] and my issues stem specifically from his decision to claim to speak for the weak and then immediately accept the titans saying that a remade world in which only the strong survive is fine. Like, I don't think there is a problem in how Caduceus is played vs. Ashton, in that I think they are both internally consistent as characters; I think it's just. Caduceus is someone who tries to make decisions that minimize broad harm to that which he deems good, and Ashton is often, by their own admission (episode 78), selfish and conceited. Like, Taliesin is just. Playing someone who is often not a great person this time. And that's a valid choice. But I think it's in a narrative that didn't really permit enough time and space for characters to change meaningfully so Ashton is a bit stuck there whereas, while Caduceus didn't have nearly as much of a gap between who he already was and the hero he needed to be, he had far, far more room to grow.
#cr spoilers#ok i kept this pretty civil fun times in the tags#it's really funny to watch c3 stans attempt to dunk on c2#it's like watching booktok people on goodreads shit on Hamlet bc it's problematic and sad and insufficiently spiceeeee#i mean to each their own but it's very like. actually c2 was pretty beloved in its time. whatever the compulsive liars say#certain aspects were unpopular but like. it was pretty transparent the people hating on late c2 were bitter shippers#whereas. i kept a list of everyone who directly harassed me over shipping in c3. and all of them haven't posted about cr in 6+ months#like in the end it's just not very good and if you think it is it's because you're not very smart.#and we can talk about why it's not good and i think history will be less kind - i think its weaknesses will be enhanced by binge watching#but in the end i think the cast didn't realize that the circumstances to make character development feel natural and effortless#aren't automatic and require a lot of work#answered#anonymous
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What do you think would happen if Serial Killer Reader (SRK) had a "sidekick" or rather partner in crime. Imagine the reader made a friend over the years who stayed by their side even after the "incident" at school. They are pretty much the opposite, and no one would think they could hurt a fly. (I mean true, animals, yay people, nope) The friend loves animals a lot, and are the reasons SKR stopped killing animals and went for people instead?
Scenario: They went out after school and found some sickos who were hurting an animal and their goody two shoes friend loses their shit and beat them up. SKR is like, "Yay, fun." and joins in, and after that, they focused on people and left animals alone.
While I'm sure we’d all love for the reader to be an overwhelming ball of guilt about the animals they've hurt. Even if they only feel that way because someone they care about loves animals, I feel the simple fact of the matter is that if you cant see yourself hurting animals for joy, then you cant see yourself hurting people for the same reasons. You'd be hard pressed to find a serial killer who didn't start out with animals, then moving on to people once they're older and more capable.
BUT be not afraid dear anon bc reader does, in fact, stop hurting animals anyway lol, simply bc Alfred told them not too. Cold turkey, bc now they know they'll get in some type of trouble, they view the first time as the only warning they'd get. This doesn't really change how they view animals though, so they kinda just… move their interests into taxidermy. It's all ethically sourced, but that's more due to the quality of the goods and that the reader can afford it, then a real care towards the animals.
Even after they move out, their room is covered head to toe in a variety of pinned bugs, snakes, birds etc. Damian is probably the only family member other than Alfred that knows about this hobby, and he hates it. Doesn’t matter if it's ethically sourced or that the animals died of natural causes, he views it as a mockery to the animals life, not the tribute you see it as.
This also bleeds into your coroner work as well, while you may not be able to put the ‘finished piece’ on display, as you do with your taxidermy, at least you know their bodies are going into the ground looking as beautiful as ever.
Now, as for a sidekick? That's for another post (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
Masterlist
#yandere batfamily#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batfam#yandere dc#gender neutral reader#gn reader#platonic yandere batfam#Serialkiller!reader#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere damian wayne#yandere cassandra cain#yandere bruce wayne#yandere barbara gordon#yandere commissioner gordon#yandere james gordon
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I would like to share my experience with a similar medication.
My doctor has been hyper-fixated on my weight for years. Every medical issue or concern I have he links it back to my weight. When I told him a while back about my concerns about my focus issues, he said it was because I had sleep apnea which meant I wasn't getting enough oxygen to my brain when I slept. And I had sleep apnea because I was fat. Not in those exact words but it was implied.
For the longest time he kept trying to push the bariatric surgery on me. Except I was apparently supposed to loose 60lbs before they'd even do a consultation for the surgery. If I was capable of loosing that much weight, I wouldn't need the surgery. But I digress. I was very adamant. I didn't want to get surgery to loose weight. (It also helped that I had a friend who is a nurse and when I mentioned the surgery she was appalled he would even suggest it to someone like me as I'm not even in the 300lb range but he still claims I'm "morbidly obese")
He suggested I do portion control and weight my food. I did and the next time I went in to see him and I told him that's what I was doing he goes "No no. You need to be counting your calories." By that point, I decided I wasn't going to listen to any of his advice about my weight as it just kept changing no matter what I did.
During one of my more recent visits (winter of 2023 I believe) he suggested Mounjaro (which is a drug similar to Ozempic as it's meant for people with type-II diabetes). He said it would work as an appetite suppressant. That I wouldn't feel as hungry and thus I wouldn't eat as much. He had a trial kit which had five injections in it so I wouldn't have to pay anything. I figured, fine. We'll give it a try. It was a once a week injection. I could handle that. We did the first injection there so they could show me how it was done and then I'd just have to do it again on the same day for the next couple weeks. Then I'd come back and we'd see the results. He did warn me one of the side effects would be nausea. "You'll feel nauseous but that's normal with this drug." he assured me. The way he explained it, he made it sound tame. I figured I could handle that.
I was very wrong.
Day one: Didn't feel any different but I figured it was just the first day and I wouldn't be feeling the effects right away.
Day two: Woke up for work feeling a little sick. Thought I'd be okay. Had a light breakfast then went into work. Spent the majority of the day running back and forth to the bathroom being violently sick. Couldn't keep anything down.
Day three: Same as before. Felt super nauseous. Had terrible cramps like my stomach was turning in on itself. Could barely keep anything down.
Day four: Felt slightly better. Not as sick but still felt on the verge of throwing up every time I ate more than a sandwich.
Day five: Better than day before. Could eat a little more without fear of throwing up. Cramps were still there.
Day six: Finally felt fine. No longer felt nauseous and could eat more.
Day seven: Still fine. Figured the nausea was because my body was just getting used to the drug. Now that I had experienced all that, I'd be okay.
Day eight: Injection day. Felt fine the whole day. Was feeling hopeful.
Day nine: I was wrong.
Day ten: Was sicker than I'd been the previous week. Could barely function at work.
Day eleven: When leaving for work, threw up on the way to the car and noticed I'd just thrown up the other medication I was on. Decided enough was enough.
I called the doctor's office to explain what was going on and if I could stop taking the medication. (I know better than to stop a medication cold turkey) They gave me the go ahead and scheduled an appointment that week. I go in and the first thing they do is weight me. When I see the doctor he's all excited because "You lost seven pounds!"
In two weeks.
I told him that was because I wasn't eating at all. And anything I was eating was being thrown up. I told him I didn't think it was healthy to loose that much weight in that short amount of time. He looked disappointed but agreed to take me off, marking in my medical chart that I was "allergic" to Mounjaro.
The next scheduled appointment I had with him, he once again started on my weight. Said it was a shame I had such a reaction to the Mounjaro because it worked so well. I got very upset with him about that. Yelled that "of course it worked well! It essentially gave me bulimia!"
So yeah. Unless you actually need this medication to treat the condition it's meant to treat (ie Type-II Diabetes) don't fucking take it. It sickens me that actual medical doctors are recommending this to their patients.
I have been debating sharing this for some time, but with the new year weight loss ads amping up, I feel it's something I have to say. I'm worried for people's health.
Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably already know about people taking the diabetic drug ozempic for weight loss. You've probably heard the debates about the ethics of taking needed drugs away from diabetes patients and maybe even the side effect of "ozempic face." However, there is one side effect of taking these drugs that, in my opinion, people are not being warned about.
If you carefully pay attention to the television ads, you will hear them mention "pancreatitis" as a possible side effect. If you're like me a decade ago, that word probably means nothing to you. Let me warn you, however, it is no minor thing. My husband suffered from chronic pancreatitis for five agonizing years. The pain is beyond comprehension. Doctors who specialize in the pancreas describe it as the worst pain a human can endure. There is no actual cure. Little is understood about the disease, so treatment is difficult. Doctors who understand it are few and far between. It took my husband forever to get diagnosed. He went through multiple surgeries and procedures, but nothing worked. He had to go on an extremely limiting diet. If he varied from it in any way, he would have an attack. The only way to recover from an attack was to not eat at all for days, then slowly add in broth and jello. Did he lose weight? Yes. As a matter of fact, one day he stepped out of the shower, and I burst into tears at the sight of him. He was skin and bones - I could count every rib. Was it worth it to be thin? If you even ask that question, I'm concerned for your mental health.
They couldn't figure out exactly why my husband got pancreatitis. At that time, they thought only alcoholics and drug addicts got pancreatitis. This made it difficult to get compassionate medical care, unfortunately. Now they know that prescription medication (particularly diabetic medication) and high cholesterol can also cause it. Then there is another group - where they just don't know. But you better believe I would hesitate to take any medication that could cause pancreatitis. I would weigh my options carefully to assess if it was worth the risk. In my opinion, weight loss is not worth that risk.
My concern has been heightened seeing the Hers commercials for these drugs (under different names, but rest assured, it is the same thing). These commercials brag that you can get these drugs from Hers with just a simple virtual call, no questions asked. I wonder if people are fully aware of the risks of these drugs. I also wonder if we even know all of the risks yet. I also fear that the culture around these drugs could develop into an us vs. them mentality. That if it's so easy to be thin, why wouldn't you be? And some are getting dangerously thin on these drugs.
I know some diabetics who are on these drugs, and necessarily so. They tell me that it causes nausea when they eat. That's why they don't eat much. Again, that doesn't sound like a pleasant way to live. If you need it to regulate your blood sugar, that's one thing. But if you don't? Why would you do this to yourself?
My husband is now healed of pancreatitis. It was a miracle. You may not believe in that sort of thing, but I'm telling you, there is no other explanation. We had exhausted every medical solution, then the pandemic hit. We were concerned because hospitals were only taking life or death cases. What if he had a bad attack and needed an iv of pain meds? What would we do? Weeks passed - no pain. A month passed - no pain. Six weeks passed - no pain. He decided to grill a steak - something he hadn't been able to even take a nibble of in 5 years. I watched him take a bite, holding my breath. Nothing. He ate the whole thing. No pain. Five years later, still no pain. The doctors can't explain it, either.
So our story has a happy ending. Not everyone else's does. I hope people take the time to read this. If you do, please, please share it. I don't want anyone suffering needlessly.
#sorry for the rant#but this just pisses me off#need to change doctor anyway#this is also the same man that told me#to combat my depression and stress#to get a Netflix subscription for a meditation channel#that anti-depressants wouldn't work for me#meanwhile he sees my mother#who has depression#and he has her#ON ANTI-DEPRESSANTS!
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First things first, I love your art!!
I was wandering through tumblr to see if there's any great chaggie fanart, but here it is! ❤️
I really love how healthy and supportive their relationship is, and I hope we get to have more chaggie screen time in Season 2(waiting for the "get it" moment lol)
What kind of Chaggie moment do you hope yo see in season 2??
I hope you'll get to post more chaggie art in future! Love your art, keep up the great work!! ✨️
Also, love from Korea~
Thanks!
Oh man, there's a lot I wanna see
- a chaggie duet that isn't a reprise. More than Anything was a good place to start, but it was wayyy too short. One of the things I love about Hazbin is that we get to have canon gay duets sung by talented broadway stars. The only musical wlw duet I know of is "Take or Leave Me" which is so so good, but it's a break up song. Steven Universe only has the one song with Rupphire, but Im not a big big fan of it, especially since Ruby's VA isnt really a singer(which is fine!). I want more gay duets that are declarations/affirmations of love and I'm sure chaggie will deliver.
-I also want Charlie to get to have a turn at singing about Vaggie like Vaggie did. I mean, we're for sure getting that bcuz of the "sexy pop song" but I also want Charlie to sing a ballad about Vaggie. If the teaser that we saw where the voice actors for Charlie and Baxter(?) sing some modified lyrics of Carnilla and Vaggie's "Whatever It Takes" means they're going to reprise it, then I really really hope that's the case. If this is just them having fun, im gonna be so disappointed lmao
While I still stand by my many previous statements that claims of Charlie and Vaggie lacking the display necessary to be considered a couple is ridiculous, a flaw I did notice is the fact that we dont get to see Charlie show how much she loves Vaggie all that much, which I think isn't the writers' oversight and more of a deliberate obstacle that they'd be facing in the upcoming seasons. I get it! Charlie's got a lot of shit going on, but she needs to be able to balance her work and relationships if she doesn't want to lose either her dream or her girl or both! Like, you know that trope where the workaholic gets so absorbed in their work that they end up unintentionally neglecting their lover, and when they do realize that they've fucked up, they do their best to make up for it in any way they can? I want that. I want Charlie's turn to apologize to Vaggie for fucking something up.
And idk how likely this is, but I think a really good opportunity to do that is to have Velvette come in and make Charlie jealous. If you didn't see my previous posts about it, I just noticed that the Vees all have these twisted love for a Hazbin close to Charlie that they also sorta parallel. Vox has an obsessive hate boner for Alastor, and they're both demons related to entertainment media. Valentino is Angel's abusive situationship, and they're both big names in the porn industry. All we have left is Velvette, who is the "backbone" of the Vees and seems to be the brains of the team, and the closest equivalent to that is Vaggie who is the manager of the Hotel and Keeper of their Braincell. Plus if Vaggie having died in the 2010s and Charlie being 200+ yrs old is still canon, Velvette can gloat about the fact that she's around Vaggie's age and is younger and fresher than granny Morningstar. You cant tell me that isn't something she'd do, since that was like the thing she kept throwing in the other Overlords' faces.
- Charlie hasnt turned demon mode for Vaggie yet, and I really want that. I dont just want what we got in the final episode where Charlie's glaring at Lute while she's holding Vaggie. Yeah ok that was pretty great but I want more! I want hellfire! I want claws! I want the feral, scrappy Charlie from the pilot pretty please!
- I want Vaggie and Lucifer bonding over Charlie. I dont think Lucifer and Charlie's relationship is completely "fixed" after the one duet they had, and I'm really hoping Vaggie gets to have a part in mending their relationship by having her interact with Lucifer. I also really want the narrative to explicitly acknowledge all the parallels Lucilith have with Chaggie
- I promise this isn't just the horny speaking, but I really hope Erika saying that "Charlie and Vaggie can get it, and we might see them do so" really means we're getting an explicit Chaggie sex scene. Hear me out! So far in season 1, the only explicitly r-rated scene we have is the fucked up one with Valentino and Angel. It would be really great if the next r-rated scene is one that is done out of love, and what better way to do it than with the protags in a canon relationship? It would show that sex isn't inherently a bad thing, and that Charlie clearly doesnt believe that either
- i really want more flashbacks about Charlie and Vaggie before they got together. I wanna see Charlie when she still hopelessly crushed on the stranger she saved in the streets. I wanna see how Vaggie reacted to the fact that she's an angel falling in love with Hell's princess. At the very least, they really should consider publishing comics that could add to the lore that the budgeted run time cant cover.
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stede: where's goofy from?
ed, who was almost asleep: 😑...😑...😐
ed, slowly rolling onto his back so he can see stede's face: goofy. goofy the cartoon goofy?
stede, continuing to stare blankly at the ceiling: yeah where's he from
ed, who's not sure he isn't still a little bit asleep: where's—you mean—are you talking about, like, ethnically
stede: no, i mean, where's his character from? what was he in?
ed: he's disney, babe. he's one of the mickey mouse guys
stede, impatient: i know that, but where'd he get his start? we all know where mickey started, he was on that boat
ed: right. so goofy was like that, i bet
stede: goofy didn't come until later, though. i've never seen a black and white goofy. have you?
ed: mm. i don't really notice goofy. he's like pigeons, y'know? he's just kind of there
stede: they group him with mickey like he's got similar prestige. mickey and donald duck
ed: he's probably from...in the same vicinity as donald duck, i bet
stede: i've seen donald duck cartoons. i've never seen a goofy cartoon. he just started showing up.
ed: so wherever the first thing he showed up in, that's where he's from, yeah?
stede: but the first place i recall seeing him, it was already, "oh, look at that, it's goofy! we've added goofy for you! isn't it great to see him again?" i'd never seen that man before in my entire life.
ed: he's not a man he's a dog
stede: well—still, the point stands.
ed: babe. do you think maybe the first thing he was in was just a thing you haven't seen?
stede: that i'd believe. but you'd think it's something they'd market, wouldn't you?
ed: i dunno, maybe it sucked.
stede: but if it sucked, how could that have imparted him donald-duck-level status?
ed:
ed: you're leading up to something, aren't you
stede: i just think it's difficult to believe that that kind of success could have happened organically.
ed: you're saying goofy is an industry plant?
stede: well i don't think we should rule it out
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I wonder if 5min!Reader will have a love life
Toxic or Something healthy?
Toxic:
Reader being abused by their lover and thinking that it is a normal display of love.
Healthy:
Reader doubts themselves. They are fueled by insecurities and ideas that their lover will leave them. But their lover is kind and patient, they would do anything to make reader feel loved.
Oh damn that's interesting... 🤔
POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD!
Masterlist
Ok so reader will have a love life but, I won't reveal what kind of lover they'd have so I'd write the hcs if it's toxic or healthy.
Toxic-
You guys unknowingly manipulate each other
He hits you sometimes and think it's the love-language of touch
You remain somewhat naive to the fact that he's using you
You didn't know he was truly trying to kill you
He has plans in taking over your empire and killing the batfamily
He'd kill you no matter how much you 'love' him
Healthy-
He'd kill for you in a blink of an eye
You're perfect for him
You try to manipulate him into leaving you because you don't deserve him, but he thinks you're more perfect than ever
You'd tell your demons and show your scars but he'd kiss your scars and ignore your demons
he is a trained assassin just like you, and he'd kill anyone who'd lay a hand on you
HELLA POSSESSIVE
Holds you close to him and when your alone he'd grab your ass
You'd be covered in blood from the people you killed only to be covered in cum, blood(only the enemies'), and sweat in the morning
You both are hella kinky with each other.
Have branded each other with your initials
You're scared as fuck he'd leave you or to stay only for your empire
He'd buy you flowers, jewelry, cosmetics, perfume, a human head ?
He doesn't even look at other women since you don't look at other men
He even shot a man in the head for bumping into you by accident
You love him, but you don't love yourself
He nearly killed Dick when the Waynes were trying to take you.
THIS IS MY DREAM MAN FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!
Taglist
@lunayaps, @not-aya, @iluvcatzz, @vanessa-boo, @ivyrose9194,@thesehandsarerated-e, @eyeless-kun, @errorunfound1, @gwyneveire, @alishii, @cxcillia
#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfam#yandere bruce wayne#yandere damian wayne#yandere richard grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere barbara gordon#yandere tim wayne#gifs#assassin reader#psycho reader
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I've been thinking about how to go with this reply because i wanted to reply to this but didn't know how to say what I wanted without it possibly being misinterpreted
first of all, I truly wish that never happens.
second of all, and I mean this in the most positive way possible: I bet your loved ones would rather not have a world without you. I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings, it's just that... dying for your loved ones does not save them as much as staying alive with them. It's not really the type of heroism you might think it is. And I know, it's not about being a hero, it's about protecting the people that you love, but do keep in mind they'd also want you to protect yourself...
these decisions are never easy, and never really have the time to be thought through.
I don't know, maybe I'm taking this too personal and I'm giving you the advice that my own past self would need instead of the one that you need right now, but
your death will not serve to prove a point.
but your life might.
just keep that in mind will ya?
take care
Me: please stop posting antisemitic bullshit
them: i understand that this situation is close to, so I'll forgive your tone but *bloodlibelbloodlibelbloodlibel*
#all i'm trying to say is#i don't have much experience but#one thing i did learn#is that staying alive with your loved ones#tends to do more than dying for them
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Question:why is Jerk Ford like this? From what I understand nobody seemed to have bullied him at all so did he just come out of the womb and thought "I'm gonna be a menace to everyone and everything"? That would be so funny-
There's a lot of reasons why the other Fords hate Jerk Ford.
Like, a lot of reasons. You don't get called "Jerk Ford" for no reason.
But one of those reasons is that any given version Stanford Pines is going to be defined by his scientific curiosity, and interest in finding the answers to mysteries.
The frustrating thing about Jerk Ford? They cannot, for the life of them, figure out why he's such a jerk. There's no real answer and they hate that.
Nothing particularly bad ever happened to him compared to other versions of himself. Bill didn't traumatize him, he got over any feelings of betrayal from his brother, he was mean to people before they could try to bully him as a kid, and Fiddleford never started a cult.
He's not even evil. He doesn't want to kill people, take over the world, or even be renowned in the scientific community. He just wants to be a petty b***h to everyone.
And he doesn't lack empathy. No, he has empathy, but what makes him a jerk is that he chooses not to use it.
Guilt, doubt, shame, and fear are just words to him.
Canon Ford? Canon Ford hears about him for the first time and asks himself "Surely he can't be that bad? He's just another me at the end of the day." And then it turned out, he really was that bad. So I don't think they would have interacted much. I do imagine this exchange happened, however:
Canon Ford: Why are you SUCH A JERK? Jerk Ford: This can't be the first time you've looked into a mirror.
A physical fight is possible; the MAB-3L dimension from Lost Legends showed several alternate versions of Mabel interact without destroying the dimension, so we're gonna act like 'you'll collapse the entire dimension if you interact with an alternate you' isn't a thing. However, Jerk Ford is a hater, not a fighter. His mouth is always writing checks the rest of him can't cash. Canon Ford could absolutely beat his a** if he wasn't so good at getting under your skin and escaping when you're too upset to pin him down.
And Jerk Ford has always been like this. He was like this growing up. He was like this straight out of the womb. Even as a baby he was a jerk, he'd be that baby who would cry on an airplane flight just to stop as soon as the flight ended.
Stan has never known his twin brother to be any different, he knows he's a jerk to everyone except him, so he tries to minimize the damage. He insists that even though Jerk Ford is an a**hole, he does care he just struggles to show it. But no one so far has believed him, not even their family.
Hell, the reason Filbrick didn't kick Stanley out this time around is because Jerk Ford told him "You know, without Stanley around, I don't have any reason to hold back."
"Hold back? You're the biggest menace in all of Glass Shard Beach, and you expect me to believe you've been holding back?"
"Are you going to take that risk, Pa?"
(He didn't take the risk, they'd been banned from so many places already because of Jerk Ford)
#Jerk Ford#Jerk Ford AU#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#gravity falls#gravity falls au#au#ask#ask answered#filbrick pines#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan
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Prompt: “I Don’t See a Future With You”
Pairing: rockon | deacon kay/donovan rocker | 979 words | angst and mentions of infidelity
Prompt list used: here
The sound of heavy panting filled the dimly lit motel room, the scent of sweat and sex suspended in the air. The weight of things unspoken pressing down on its two inhabitants. They laid side by side on the stiff mattress, bodies still charged with the electrifying aftermath of another reckless rendezvous.
Rocker's chest rose and fell in sync with Deacon's, but the consonance ended there. In that moment, he came to the startling realization that they'd never been on the same page—hell, he didn't think they were on the same damn book at all.
Rocker would blame what happened next on the post-nut clarity—or maybe just the overwhelming exhaustion of constantly trying to break through a brick wall with no result. He couldn't really pinpoint it. All he knew was that the question had been haunting him, hanging over him during every interaction they had, every stolen moment they shared.
It had been there between their stolen kisses in the quiet locker room after the others had left. In the hurried, heated moments in the showers, swallowed gasps and moans, the warm spray doing little to extinguish the fire always burning between them. In the back alleys where his shoulder blades scraped against brick, feeling the ache of wounds that lingered long after they healed, and in sketchy motel rooms like this one, where they paid in cash and pretended not to look over their shoulders.
The question slipped free, sharp and accusing despite his best attempt to soften the blow.
"Deac...what are we doing here?"
Deacon stiffened immediately. The change was subtle, but Rocker felt it—in the way Deacon's arm twitched against him, like he was doing his best to keep his reaction under wraps.
"Don't," Deacon said, his voice a quiet warning. "Don't ask me that, Rocker. Just leave it."
Rocker turned his head, studying Deacon's profile in the flickering yellow light of the bedside lamp. He looked calm, composed. But Rocker had known him long enough to see through the mask.
"No," Rocker said firmly, pushing himself up on one elbow. "We need to talk about this. It's been months, Deacon. You can't just—"
Deacon cut him off, sitting up abruptly. "I said drop it." he said, brown eyes looking intently at him, almost begging.
But Rocker didn't. Couldn't anymore. The words kept tumbling out, heavy and raw. "This...whatever this is—it's not enough anymore. I can't keep doing this, Deacon" his voice broke. "I'm tired of feeling like I'm some dirty little secret you'll never admit to."
Deacon swung his legs over the side of the bed, his back to Rocker. He was already reaching for his jeans, pulling them on with jerky, deliberate movements.
"It's not that simple," Deacon said sharply, his voice tight.
"It's never that simple," Rocker shot back, sitting up fully now, the sheets pooling around his waist. "But I know you feel the same way I do. I feel it when we're together. I know this isn’t just fucking—‘getting our rocks off’."
Deacon froze mid-motion, his hands hovering over the zipper of his jeans. His shoulders tensed, the weight of Rocker’s words pressing down on him.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Deacon said finally, his voice low, dangerous.
Rocker’s laugh came out hollow. “Don’t I? Then tell me I’m wrong” he goaded bitterly. “Look me in the eyes and tell me this is just sex to you. That's all it’s ever been. That I’m imagining all of it—the way you take care of me, like I'm something precious…”
Rocker suddenly felt the tears running down his face, but couldn't stop the words from spilling out, still pleading with Deacon’s back. “The way you hold me after, like you’re afraid to let go. The way you look at me, like you—”
“Stop,” Deacon snapped, finally turning to face him. His eyes burned with a mix of anger and something deeper, something Rocker couldn't quite name. He saw the flicker of guilt there too and watched as Deacon flinched at whatever his own face was doing.
“No, Deacon. You don’t get to shut me down this time. You don’t get to walk away from this conversation.”
Deacon’s jaw clenched, his fists curling at his sides. “I have a wife, Rocker. I have kids. A family. A life I've built, fought for—”
“And none of that is real anymore!” Rocker interrupted, his voice rising. “Not if you're here with me, in these shitty motel rooms, pretending they don't exist. Pretending this means nothing to you. You can't have it both ways, Deacon. Not anymore.”
Deacon’s face twisted, something fragile cracking across his expression. But then his defences slammed back into place, his usual calm settling in, and his voice came out cold.
“I don’t see a future with you.”
The words hit him like a gut punch, stealing the air from Rocker’s lungs. For a moment, he felt the world come crashing around him, and he couldn't move. Couldn't breathe.
“Say that again,” Rocker whispered, barely recognizing his own voice.
Deacon didn't. He couldn’t. Instead, he grabbed his jacket and walked to the door, his steps heavy. He paused with his hand on the doorknob, his shoulders rigid.
For a moment, Rocker hoped—hoped he would turn around, that he might say something, anything. But then the door opened, and Deacon walked out, leaving Rocker alone in the silence.
The sound of the door clicking shut felt like a bullet to the chest, the finality of it shattering through the fog that had settled in him.
Rocker sank back onto the bed, the silence somehow feeling deafening. The room felt colder now, emptier. The words echoed in his mind, over and over, like a broken record.
I don't see a future with you.
And for the first time, he believed it.
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Actually, I don't like the concept of Felicia because she oversimplifies the story and creates plot holes.
Now suddenly Vander didn't pick up two orphans because he blamed himself for the violence, and wanted it to stop. It's not because he saw how it affected the children of Zaun, and decided right there to make a change for the future. But because he happened to know their mom (which then brings the question. If Felicia's kids are so important to him, why are they in the thick of things? You'd think they'd have them somewhere safer.)
Also, in season one act one, Silco didn't know the kids. And even ignoring that plot hole, it still muddies things up. Now his arc isn't about learning to care for a child, and understanding how that kind of personal connection can change your perspective. Because, he already cared for them before his sad sad case of amnesia.
So now it's about him caring about the girls, then not caring, then caring about Jinx again. That's not an arc, that's a meandering circle.
Instead of the men bonding with the respective girls, because of their own personality and history. Where Vander was dealing with his own guilt, and trying to attone. Where Silco saw his own trauma reflected in Jinx, and chose to guide her in the way he wished to be. It's now “Oh they know their mom, that's why!” Which is far less intriguing and character driven.
Speaking of, instead of their fallout- and Vander’s subsequential murder attempt- being about the widening gap of their ideologies, or plans. It's now been boiled down to “When she died, I lost my head”
Okay, but that's worse. You do get how this is worse, right. Instead of Silco being the thing “worse than enforcers” as said before. He was someone mourning his friend, just to get nearly murdered by his other friend who decided to blame it all on him.
Then, we're left to actually try to figure out when this drowning attempt even happened, since we now confirmed it's during the day of ash. Are we to believe that Vander dropped his gauntlets (symbolically representing his path of non violence) picked up the girls, tucked them into bed...then took Silco down by the river? That kind of flies in the face of the characterization Vander gave himself in the letter, of it being a heat of the moment thing. Ya know, for Felicia.
And is now a good time to mention that Vander appears younger in the drowning flashback, than he did in the opening scene? I was led to believe it happened years before. Absolutely muddled.
And, when everyone just happens to know everyone else, then the world just feels smaller. Which is a shame, because the team behind season one made non champion characters, to avoid this very feeling.
Not everything is about shipping, sometimes people hate bad writing…because it's bad. Also, she's in a committed relationship with Connol, and even having his baby. In what way would anyone assume that she's “getting in the way” of any ship? (Unless you have a Connol ship you're passionate about, I guess?)
You're not gonna convince me that inventing a fridged woman to slap on top of Silco and Vander’s backstory is feminist in any way.
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I've been wondering this forever. "Walburga's A+ Parenting" is a bonefied tag on AO3, but you know what isn't? Anything really about Orion. He's just there, and fics often act like being complicit is better than actively abusing. I know my experience isn't everybody's, but I resent the complicit person in my life, who had the power to do something but didn't. There is angst to be had with complacent Orion, but nobody taps into it, because then they'd also have to hold themselves accountable and think about their own complacency (in misogyny, in fandom, etc.).
okay right. why do we as a fandom hate on walburga so much and ignore orion? like he was a parent too???? I think it’s basic misogyny honestly 😔
personally though, I do headcannon walburga as a lesbian and I feel like she was a bit like bellatrix when she was younger.
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