#you know we really should have known from all the outlander books

[sapphire-wine]

Since I have unofficially inherited my mother's collection of highlander romance novels, the only thing I can do is read them

[theladyofbloodshed]

So, I have a question. I am planning a new series with following a certain mythology. I know a lot of readers drag sjm through the mud about stealing names from mythologies (including myself), like the names of gods/goddess & places, and not coming up with none on her own.

How should I combat that?

Is it a tad bit better to come up with all new names and places but keep the mythology lore?

I am trying to avoid being like sjm. (Also, I am asking a bunch of other tumblrs this question so you might see it around).

Long post incoming...

I think the issue with some of sjm's mythology is that she rips it away from certain cultures and then does nothing with it or warps it to the point where she should have just invented her own name e.g. Morrigan is famous in Irish folklore as three sisters (who are also all the same goddess) who is associated with war, she can be seen washing the armour of soldiers who will die that day. She's also famous for trying to seduce/end Cuchulainn who was battling Queen Maeve. There is no way sjm just came up with the name, because there are some similarities with acotar mor... but then we've never actually seen her power in 5 books.

She just takes random bits from lots of different cultures. Acotar was supposedly inspired by Outlander which is set in Scotland. The Ballad of Tam Lin is also Scottish (but acotar really is not similar to it). We have Rhys/Amren/Nuala/Cerridwen which are all Welsh names. But then I've seen people interpret Nuala and Cerridwen as POC because sjm is so vague (not to say welsh people cannot be poc, but the clothing they - and feyre - first wear is more like Jasmine from aladdin). Morrigan is Irish. Azriel is Hebrew. Cassian is Latin. Nesta is Welsh. Elain is Welsh. Eris is Greek. Lucien is French. Puca are celtic. The bogge comes from old english for the bogeyman. The Weaver is based on strzyga which are slavic. Baba Yellowlegs is a rip off of baba yaga also from slavic folklore. Koschei is also a slavic legend along with the Firebird. Heck, just look at the Slovenian flag and you'll see three mountains with three stars above it. I've seen people theorise that Thurr is CC is like Thor and CC will be the norse ragnarok.

Calan Mai is a Welsh festival and the acotar version is a bastardisation of it. Fires are lit to ward off spirits and banish disease the night before. On the day, farmers traditionally took their animals out to pastures and singing/drinking happened to give thanks for a good season. A May Queen and King would be crowned and the village green opened. SJM took Calan Mai from welsh traditions and turned it into a giant orgy (of course). Thunderbirds are important to Native American mythology and sjm has just taken that yet again for a character. I've only read cc2 once but I feel like there was no description of Sofie whatsoever.

It's not wrong to borrow from mythologies and folklore. These stories have existed for thousands of years for a reason. My issue is the strange amalgamation of shoving so many together and snipping only the "nice" bits e.g. the Morrigan can transform into an eel and she loses an eye at one point and transforms into an old woman. Sjm cant have ugly main characters!

I think try and be consistent with the mythologies e.g. don't mix lots of different ones together if you're using "real" names because I don't think they gel well - this is my friend Thor, his brother Apollo, and their friend Anubis. There are sooooo many mythology/folklore books out there. I have a whole shelf because I love it. There are also so many websites. Delve into less commonly known mythologies/stories. Alternatively, be inspired by them and come up with your own creations. Or, come up with your own lore in general :-)

Ultimately, you are telling the story you want to write. Do what is best for you!

[thebrochtuarachs]

All That Was Good 

A/N: One of my many versions of "What if Jamie and Claire both passed through the stones before Culloden?" stories. This came about just this weekend and my brain would not stop until I wrote it down and shared it with you all. I know the 20-year separation of Jamie and Claire is one of the most used plots in the Outlander-verse (I, for one, am all for it) so here's my wee contribution to it! I'm bad at summaries but hope you like this wee one! As always, your comments and suggestions are very much welcome.

AO3

xxxxx

This cannot be it.

As their hands moved closer together to touch the stone, Claire’s heart was feeling a million emotions but her mind was clear with just one thing - Jamie.

This cannot be it.

In the three years they’ve been together, neither of them could’ve known just how much they’d mean to each other, depend on each other, care for each other, let alone, love each other - so deeply and passionately that they were willing to change history if it came to that.

This cannot be it.

“Goodbye, Claire” she felt his breath and lips in her temple as he pulled her closer to him by the waist, desperately trying to keep themselves together for as long as they could and engrain the memory of their bodies molded as one. And in the middle, was the miracle they prayed and hoped for who will never know his father and grow up with a family he deserved.

This cannot be it.

Her fingers can almost feel the roughness of the stone surface and the journey that will follow after. She wanted to turn her head and see his face one last time, beg him to release her from her promise and let her stay in this time. But time was running out. In the last seconds, Claire made her wish known again and again.

Me. Jamie. Our Baby. Our Family. Anywhere. Anytime. Together.

Me. Jamie. Our Baby. Our Family. Anywhere. Anytime. Together.

Me. Jamie. Our Baby. Our Family. Anywhere. Anytime. Together.

Claire expected the deafening buzz that usually came with the stones - but what was new was the blinding light that suddenly seemed to emit from it. She wondered if Jamie could see it since he couldn’t hear the buzz and she  got her confirmation when she heard Jamie exclaim a “What in the devil..?!” just before everything went black.

----

The journey to the stones is never easy. It feels like you're being taken apart and then weaved back together. It really takes a toll to the body.

Claire stirred to someone stroking her hair. Once her mind was a little bit more awake, she took a mental stock of herself. She felt whole, alive, and for some reason, she was sitting in some armchair with her head laid down on the table.

She slowly opened her eyes, cautious just in case she got affected somehow by the last light she saw and to prepare herself to know the aftermath of this trip.

“Thank Christ!” was the first sound she heard. “Are ye alright?"

Her mind raced, she needed to respond. In another effort to finally face her reality, she lifted her, fully opened her eyes and saw the two most worried ocean eyes boring straight into hers.

Her eyes widened at the sight before her. Impossible.

“Ja - Jamie?” she softly called out, a hand unsure to touch his face.

“Aye, tis me, Claire. Do ye remember me? I was afraid you wouldn’t recognize me” he replied.

“Jamie, oh my god!” her dizziness forgotten, she quickly stood up as Jamie did too and they held each other so tightly she was sure she couldn’t breath.

She pulled away and started inspecting every part of him she could. “Are you alright? What happened?!”

“I don’t know. All I remember was I brought ye to the stones, we we’re about to touch it when a light beamed through. Next thing I knew, I woke up leaning by that shelf, wearing this clothes, and saw you passed out here.”  Jamie shared.

“So you did see the light too! I haven’t experienced or seen that before so I thought it could’ve been just for me but...here you are.”

“Here I am” he said simply.

As their dizziness wore off and their mind became more rational, they needed to investigate fast on where and when they were.

Claire was wearing a white sleeveless shirtwaist dress, almost similar to the one she was wearing the first time she went through the stones, while Jamie was wearing a navy blue knitted shirt tucked in light brown fitted trousers.

They were definitely not in the 1740s anymore.

They were in an old scottish cottage, though obviously renovated and restored, with most of the items inside looking museum grade. A sign hanged up wrote “Old Leanach Cottage” and below it in smaller letters were the words “Culloden Moor” .

They were at Culloden.

Lastly, together they gravitated towards a notebook, a visitor log, and found that the year was 1948.

They were in Claire’s time.

Stunned and a little bit confused, Jamie and Claire looked at each other as the shock passed through them.

Impossible, indeed.

Claire and Jamie had more questions than answers and the place they currently were seemed different that what Claire was used to so both of them are pretty much out of place until they knew more about their present lives.

“Whatever this is, whatever has happened” Jamie’s firm voice broke the ice. “We’ll figure it out together.”

“Okay.” Claire replied. The unknowns were endless but with the strength of having Jamie by her side, there was nothing much to fear. “Of course” Claire nodded surely and then leaned her face to Jamie’s for a single deep kiss.

There’s always something that stirs between them whenever they kiss and they both smile at the fact that that feeling hasn’t gone away. Whatever they need it to be, it will be that. And right now, this kiss was a kiss of love, gratitude, comfort, and security.

Just as they were to pull away, they heard voices outside the cottage call for them.

“Jamie, Clare, are you guys finished?” a man’s voice asked.

Surprised by the interaction, Jamie’s first action was to protect Claire. His hands automatically reached out to his side where his sgian dubh always reside but he grasped for nothing in the air. Another reminder that they were in a different time.

“Jamie, those voices…”

“D’ye know them, Sassenach?”

Claire shook her head. Her mind was swirling - the voices we’re so familiar, she was sure she knew them - but she couldn’t put a name or a face.

“Come on, you two! Chop, chop! We still have a 3-hour ride ahead of us.” a woman’s voice followed.

“Should we just head out and see?” she asked. Jamie shrugged in agreement, took Claire’s hand, and led them out of the cottage.

Nothing could’ve prepared either of them for what was to happen next. They were both frozen in place as a couple turned around and in front of them is Henry and Julia Beauchamp.

“There you are!” Julie exclaimed. “What took you so long? We thought you’re only signing the visitor’s log book”. She noticed their confused looks, and slowly reached out a hand. “Are you guys...okay?”

Without another thought, Claire gravitated towards her parents and pulled her mother to a tight embrace and cried.

“Mama” Claire said softly.

“You haven’t called me that in a long time” Julie replied, hugging her daughter back. She pulled her daughter back when she felt a wetness in her shoulder. “Why are you crying?”

Claire didn’t reply but went to her dad and hugged him just as tight.  “While I do love this,” Henry began, “I’m not sure what’s going on.” He patted her back, “Claire?”

“I’m sorry, I…” Claire started to think of an explanation while wiping her eyes and fixing herself up. “I just missed you so much”

There was so much more she wanted to say, just in case this was all a dream, but her last words summarized what was at the core of it all.

“I know, we missed you guys too. It’s been almost a month since we got together and this is a little overdue. Do you think you can make it back the car, though? I really don’t want to miss lunch.” Henry teased.

“Let’s go! I don’t want to be late. You know how strict Brian and Ellen are with the lunch schedule. Last time we missed it, there were hardly any food left.” Julia followed.

It was Jamie’s turn to feel more disbelief. “I’m sorry, what?” He didn’t know how we found his voice but, at the moment, his mind had  life of its on and the words came flying out.

“What do you mean ‘what’? We’re on our way to see your parents at Lallybroch, James.”

[restlessfandoming]

“the president and the troublemaker” (part 1) (chilumi fic)

“Lumine is the student council president and Childe is the school’s number one troublemaker. They cross paths more than they’d like. Especially when Childe finds out Lumine’s big secret. Highschool AU à la Kaichou wa Maid-sama.”

if anyone has seen maid-sama, Lumine and Childe sometimes reminded me of Misaki and Usui so i had to write it hehe :3 if you haven’t seen it, i highly suggest it, its a very cute anime and if you like chilumi, you’ll definitely like the main couple in it! its on netflix! :D

[Fic Masterlist] // [AO3 Link]

* * *

“the president and the troublemaker” (part 1)

“Childe, for the last time, earrings are against the school uniform code,” Lumine said to him, eyes narrowing at the red jewelry dangling from his ear. He may have towered over her, but she was the student council president—she had to enforce the rules no matter what. 

Childe tilted his head, fingers grazing over his earring. “A tiny thing like this? Surely you can let me off the hook, Madame President?” 

“No exceptions. Remove it now or I will forcibly confiscate it from you.” 

He scoffed, turning away. “I’d like to see you try.”

Lumine clenched her jaw, watching his back retreat down the hallway. Oh, she could easily take it from him. But this wasn’t the place to use brute force. As much as he boiled her blood, she wouldn’t dare reveal her secret here. 

Childe, the school’s number one troublemaker: always getting into fights, never listening to authorities, doing whatever he pleased. And the worst part? He always got away with it. 

The girls of the school fawned over his good looks, the boys envied his strength, and the elders fell victim to his charisma. 

Not Lumine though. She refused to be influenced by him. Maybe that’s why he always seemed so annoyed by her. Good. 

She ripped out a page of her student council notebook, scribbling out Childe’s name and dress code violation, pocketing it to turn in later. 

She practically stomped her way into the student council room, earning a glance from the Vice President—her twin brother Aether. 

“Childe?” he asked, going back to typing on his laptop. 

Lumine slumped in her chair. “Yes,” she nearly growled. “How did you know?”

“Because he always puts you in the worst of moods,” her brother answered. “Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to put him in his place.”

“And get kicked out of school for murder? No thank you; I’m not ruining an absolutely clean record for the likes of someone like Childe.” She flipped through her notebook, seeing all her citations on said troublemaker. “Soon enough, that boy is going to get expelled, mark my words.”

Suddenly, the door burst open, and the student council reporter—a student named Bennett—dashed in, holding the side of his face.

“Madame President!” he announced. “There’s a fight breaking out in the hallway!”

Both Aether and Lumine stood. “What happened to your face, Bennett?” Aether asked. 

The reporter let out a sheepish laugh. “I, uh, tried to break up the fight but ended up getting punched in the face.”

“Okay, c’mon, let’s get you to the nurse,” Aether said, walking Bennett out the door. 

Lumine quickly walked out after them, hearing the commotion down the hallway. As she turned the corner, there was a crowd of students circled around the tussle. 

“Out of the way!” Lumine shouted. 

At the sound of her voice, many students scattered back to their classrooms, leaving only the perpetrators still fighting: a short boy with cropped blue hair and—Childe.

“Hey!” she yelled. “Break. It. Up! Or it’s suspension for the both of you!” 

The short boy gave Childe a harsh shove, adjusting his odd cap with tassels on the sides. “You don’t have to fight me every time you see me, you brute,” the boy hissed. 

Childe laughed. “C’mon, Scaramouche, don’t be like that,” the ginger said. “We were just having some fun, Madame President; no need to make a big fuss out of it.” 

Lumine glared at him. “Why are you always at the center of trouble?” 

Childe shrugged. “Life’s too boring.” 

Taking out her notebook, she scoffed. “Well, it’s about to get a whole lot more boring for you. Detention. After school. Both of you.” 

“It was just some play fighting between friends, Pres,” Childe insisted. “Don’t be so stuck-up.” 

“Not play fighting when one of my council members gets hit in the face,” she retorted angrily. 

“Can I at least be let off the hook?” Scaramouche interjected. “He was the one who attacked me.” 

The blonde sighed. “Fine. This was your first offense anyways.” 

“Today’s his first day after all,” Childe supplied. 

“It’s his first day and you welcomed him by attacking him?” Lumine asked, crossing her arms. 

He smiled. “What can I say? We know each other.” 

I want to punch that smile off his face. “Scaramouche, go back to class. Childe, you’re coming with me to in-school suspension.” 

Scaramouche muttered something under his breath and walked away, while Childe cheerfully waved goodbye to him. 

Lumine started walking down the other way, towards the ISS room, Childe’s footsteps falling in behind her. Most of the way was done in silence. Until—

“Say, Pres, why are you so stuck-up?” Childe asked. 

Lumine grit her teeth. “Have you ever thought maybe I’m not stuck-up, and maybe you’re just a troublemaker?” 

“Hey, at least I make your life a little more interesting, don’t I?”

“Not interesting. So much more unbearable.” 

“Maybe you should loosen up. Being like this won’t make you many friends.” 

“And fighting people will?” 

“Fighting is fun. You’re telling me you’ve never watched a fight and found it entertaining?”

Lumine stopped in her tracks. “Of course not. You only do it when something’s seriously on the line. Not for fun.” 

“Uh-uhm, excuse me,” a timid voice said. 

Lumine turned to find a girl, she looked young, probably a freshman, clutching a card. “Can I help you?” the president asked.

“A-actually,” the girl responded, “can I t-talk to Ch-Childe? A-Alone?” 

The blonde glanced at Childe, who shrugged back at her. Letting out a sigh, she said, “Yes, go ahead.” She was doing this for the girl. Not Childe. 

She walked ahead and turned the corner until she was out of sight and unable to hear. After a minute or so, the freshman girl ran past her, hysterically crying. Brows furrowed, she went back to Childe. 

“So, where are we going?” he asked nonchalantly. 

Asshole. “What the hell did you do to her?” Lumine asked. “Do I really need to write you up again?”  

“What? All I did was reject her confession.”

A glare at him. “Be nicer. Don’t make girls cry.” She continued walking. 

“Or maybe she should just be stronger.” 

“Don’t you dare insult a girl’s strength in front of me.” 

“I’m not insulting the strength of a woman. I’m just saying people in general could do better if only they were stronger.” His strides quickened, and soon he was in front of her. He flicked the earring dangling from his ear. “For instance, if you had the strength, you could easily rip this from my ear, and you could stop stacking up those useless dress code citations for me.” 

Lumine had to clench her teeth to stop herself from murdering him on the spot. “I’m your student council president. I don’t solve things through violence. Which is why you and I are different.” Lie, her gut hissed. 

She stopped, throwing open the door to her left, gesturing into the room. “You’ll spend the rest of the school day here.” She turned in, looking at the teacher. “Mr. Diluc, you have a student here for in-school suspension for the rest of the day.” 

Mr. Diluc glanced up from his book, expressionless. “Childe. Back so soon?” 

Childe sauntered in, taking a seat. “You know our Pres. Always working on cleaning up the school from scum like me.” 

“Good for her,” Diluc said. “Thank you, Lumine.”

Lumine nodded and closed the door behind her. Finally.

At least Childe wouldn’t be causing anymore trouble today. 

* * *

Lumine shivered as the chilling locker room hit her bare skin. Shedding her hoodie, she donned a simple black sports tank top and shorts. 

“Are they ever going to get heaters for these locker rooms?” she muttered. 

“It’s an underground fighting ring,” Aether said, “You think they can afford state-of-the-art locker rooms?” He tossed her a roll of hand wraps. 

She caught it, unraveling it, and started to wrap them around her knuckles. “You’re right. As long as they pay me, I shouldn’t be complaining.” 

Aether nodded, taking her gloves out from her gym bag. “Are you ever going to tell Mom how you get all this cash?”

“Never. She’d probably die of a heart attack.” 

“And your injuries?” 

“I try not to get any,” she said with a smirk. “If I do, then, hey, the restaurant business can be dangerous...and I can be clumsy.” 

And that was her big secret. 

In the night, Lumine was a top tier fighter in Teyvat’s underground fighting ring. She was known as “The Outlander.” 

After their father had walked out on them years ago, Lumine, Aether, and their mother were left with a huge amount of his debt to pay off. Their mother took on two jobs to support them, leaving her exhausted, sickly, and barely home. Lumine and Aether couldn’t find decent paying jobs at their age, so Lumine took matters into her own hands. 

Through her tenacity, she trained hard and started showing up to the underground fights, learning her way through the system, and eventually began fighting herself. Sure, it was illegal due to the violence and betting system, but it made good money—fast. Enough money to support their family, pay off the debt, and save some aside for her and Aether’s future.

Aether of course still worked as a cashier at a local grocery store (next to the restaurant Lumine claimed she worked at); Lumine would never let her dear brother participate in her line of work. He was only allowed to come along to cheer her on.   

She was also good at it. After some training, her instructors all praised her natural fighting instincts. In a matter of months, she had become one of the top fighters in her area. 

It was out of necessity. They needed the money. 

Of course, no one knew who she really was. She always fought with a mask on—she couldn’t let her identity be compromised. A high school student beating up all these grown adults? A chance she could be recognized and reported to authorities? No. Way. Plus, people liked the mysterious Outlander figure. Might as well milk it. 

The cheers above her swelled, and Lumine did her final stretches and prepped to go out on stage. 

“You ready to fight tonight?” Aether asked. 

Lumine slipped her mask on. “Always.” 

She made her way up the staircase, and the buzzing crowd grew louder and louder, until she entered the arena, and the cheers became deafening. 

The arena was probably around the size of her school gym, maybe smaller, but packed to the brim with cheering fans and a boxing cage in the middle. 

She made her way up to the cage, chants of “Outlander” swirling around her, and took her walk around the area, getting a feel for the night. Eventually, her mind blurred out the crowd, focusing on becoming in tune with her body. 

Tonight, her opponent was another member of the Hilichurl gang: a gang notorious for entering lots of members into these types of fights, even if they weren’t good, as a way to try and earn any kind of money for their gang. It was an easy win. Lumine barely got hit. (The Hilichurl on the other hand ended the night sobbing his heart out on stage. Lumine felt kind of bad. Kind of.)

Soon enough, she and Aether were on their way home with a fresh wad of cash in their bag, practically skipping their way past the dim street lights. As they made their way towards their bus home, Lumine rifled through her bag, realizing she had left one of her textbooks in the locker room from when she had been studying before the fight. 

She cursed. Now she had to go all the way back to the arena. “Aether, you need to get home—the next bus won’t be here for another hour.” 

“Lumine, I am not leaving you alone in this sketchy part of town.” 

“And you have to be there when Mom gets back, otherwise she’ll get suspicious.” Lumine was already turning around. “Tell her I had to stay behind at the restaurant to help clean up.” 

Her brother pursed his lips. 

“Aether. I’ll be fine. Did you seriously forget what I did to get that stack of cash?” she reassured. 

He sighed. “Fine, fine. You’re right.” He hugged his sister. “Still. Be careful, please.” 

She held up her fist which was still wrapped in the fighter’s tape. “Of course. See you back home.” 

With that, the twins went separate ways. 

Now maskless, Lumine went the back ways to the arena, entering through a side door, avoiding the still rowdy crowd of spectators gathered for the late night fights. She successfully grabbed her textbook, and walked back out the side door. Straight into somebody. 

Shit. “Excuse me,” she mumbled, keeping her head down, hoping they wouldn’t ask why some little high school girl was sneaking around the underground fighting arena. 

But then the person spoke. 

“Wow,” a familiar voice said. 

Lumine looked up, wide eyed. Shitshitshitshit—

“This is a surprise,” Childe said, “Madame President.”

* * *

[part 2]

[mermaidsirennikita]

good lord I am so tired of hearing about RJP and his so-called attitude towards Bridgerton. this guy has literally not said a single bad word about Bridgerton or it’s fans. pple are just mad he hasn’t spent every single day tweeting about how much he loved working on Bridgerton or talking about how ‘revolutionary’ it was. lol have pple considered that he viewed Bridgerton as just another job?? He is not part of fandom. maybe he doesn’t want that to be all he is known for. and that’s not an insult to the romance genre.

i reckon s2 will be great, but there is a certain segment of fans that seem to be annoyed that the duke is the character most associated with the show. it is his face pple in general (not fandom) think of when they think about Bridgerton. even pple who haven’t watched Bridgerton still know who the duke is. and a lot of fans really hate that it’s not Kate/Anthony (yet) who the general audience care about.

The thing is that unless you're really plugged into the show or the books, you don't know much about Kate and Anthony at all. We have a clip, some promo photos (most of which aren't of Kate and Anthony together) and a few paragraphs about the plot. If Netflix is smart, they'll promo blitz with Jonathan and Simone (honestly, they should really go for something like that amaaaaazing Outlander EW shoot that imitated old school stepbacks and covers) and then people will get hyped and they'll remember to read the book and so on and so on and so on.

Most people who watched the show probably haven't read the books. They don't know that TVWLM is considered one of, perhaps the best book in the series. They don't know who Kate is. Anthony has yet to ~redeem himself in their eyes, so he's just the brother, you know? The meddling brother.

They know the duke. They fell in love with the duke. My friends literally just refer to him as "the duke" and they adore him. Of course he's what they're focused on.

And RJP took that success and springboarded to other things, which is his right and the smart thing to do. His career is not "Simon from Bridgerton". His career is acting lol, and he's gotta do a lot more to build it up. And let's be real, he's a black actor, so he has to do more than a white actor would. Those opportunities are not going to stick, most likely, and they're definitely not going to stick if he doesn't make the most of them.

He's said nothing bad about the show. He's alluded to the fandom being a bit much towards him, which they have been, but he didn't drag anyone. Fuck, let's compare this to someone who was put in honestly a very similar position--at the mercy of a rabid fanbase, as a romantic hero of a romance series. Robert Pattinson trashed those books. And honestly, Twilight is pretty loaded so I don't think he was entirely off in those terms, but some things he said were demeaning in general, not just towards the books, you know? And he really got little to no backlash for that--he got praised for it later. (And as a former Twilight fan, I have zero ill will about all of that, but I do think he used a type of language discussing things women enjoy that would be side-eyed a bit more these days.). Now he's Batman.

People act as if RJP owes them his life. Like... Dude was on the come up before Bridgerton. I'm not saying he would've blown up as quickly without it, but like....... He was poised for a breakout one way or the other.

RJP has said things about the romance genre that aren't fawning--I doubt he reads it for pleasure lol. But he hasn't said anything that I'd consider insulting. I think his comments are valid and sometimes insightful. An outsider's perspective.

He had a job, he did it well, he finished the job, he left, and he's doing other things. I get no sense that he's ashamed of Bridgerton--I imagine some of the things he sees online are awkward or embarrassing though, as is often the case when you become like this matinee idol type for women. But I don't get the vibe that he looks down on the role. He's just not like.... Soooo grateful to fans. Because ultimately? Where he got is a combination of hard work, and of course, some luck--being cast at the right time, being a naturally hot person. But it was mostly his work. He could be the hottest guy on the planet, with an appealing script, and if he didn't play it well and with charisma, he wouldn't have blown up. He deserves to be able to say "I did this, I earned this, I'm not going to fall over myself to thank people every day".

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #174

Y’know what? It’s the america anniversary, and it’s FGO’s anniversary too. Let’s celebrate a bit. Here’s a build early, we’ll be back on schedule on the sixth.

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the precious cinnamon bun who just wants to ruin the environment, Berserker of Learning with Manga! For this build, we’ve got three goals; grow big, grow bigger, and grow biggest. Expect spoilers with her build breakdown below the cut, and slightly fewer spoilers in her character sheet over here!

Next up: Give me a sign~ Build me Nero one more time!

Paul Bunyan is a Rune Knight fighter to grow bigger while helping her friends, a Giant Soul Sorcerer to grow bigger while stepping on stuff, and a Totem Warrior Barbarian to smash things good with Babe’s help.

Race and Background

Pauly B was made out of Udon dough, and as a result she’s a Custom Lineage, giving her +2 Strength and a size of Small. She also get proficiency with Animal Handling, and the Magic Initiate feat to pick up some spells from the wizard spell list. Shape Water is just the beginning of your settling abilities, and Thunderclap is a single step for you. You also get Find Familiar to pick up Babes.

Aside from that, you are America’s pioneering spirit made manifest, so you’re an Outlander. This gives you proficiency with Athletics and Survival.

Ability Scores

You’re a glass cannon, so make sure your Strength is as high as you can get it. After that is Charisma- you’re only here because you were so popular in the book, after all. Your Dexterity comes next so you don’t die wearing denim armor. After that is Constitution. You might be a glass cannon, but a building-sized body is still pretty hard to take down. Your Intelligence isn’t amazing, but we’re dumping Wisdom. You’re a berserker anyway, but you also came from a comedy manga. That’s going to hurt your sense of reality.

Class Levels

1. Barbarian 1: Starting out here gets you as much health as we can, as well as proficiency with Strength and Constitution saves and two barbarian skills. Being nine hundred feet tall helps with Intimidation, and you gotta know a bit about Nature if you’re going to tear it down as effectively as you do.

You also get Unarmored Defense, making your AC 10 + your dexterity mod + your constitution mod when you’re just wearing denim. Your Rage transforms you for a minute as a bonus action. It gives you advantage on strength based saves & checks, extra damage on strength based attacks, and resistance to standard weapon damage. When you’re big enough to drink from a great lake, swords don’t do much.

2. Barbarian 2: Second level barbs can make Reckless Attacks, getting advantage now at the cost of giving other creatures advantage against you. Berserkers are not well known for their defensive power, but this will make up for you using such a heavy weapon while small.

That being said, Danger Sense gives you advantage on dexterity saves against effects you see coming. When you can step across the entire battle map in one go, fireballs are easy to avoid.

3. Fighter 1: First level fighters start things off right with a Fighting Style, and grabbing the superior technique style to make one Trip Attack per short rest is a great way to have enemies shouting timber.

You also get a Second Wind, letting you hang out and eat some beans as a bonus action, healing you 1d10+your fighter level HP.

4. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get an Action Surge to help you perform supernatural feats in a single turn. Now you can add on an extra action to your turn once per short rest.

5. Fighter 3: Our last level of fighter unlocks your martial archetype, the Rune Knight! The big reason we’re here is for Giant Might, spending a bonus action to grow Large, also giving you advantage on strength checks and saves, and you also deal extra damage once per turn while attacking. You can transform this way Proficiency times per long rest.

You can also carve Runes into weapons, armor, and jewelry. You get two runes, and can carve them into one item each at the end of a long rest. The Frost rune gives its wearer advantage on Animal Handling and Intimidation checks. The Fire rune doubles the wearer’s proficiency bonus with tools. Once per short rest per rune, they can also be invoked for extra power. The frost rune gives its wearer +2 on all strength and constitution saves and checks, while the fire rune forces a strength save against being restrained by fiery shackles, dealing damage each turn and restraining the target, when you hit it with a weapon attack. The DC for that save is 8 + proficiency + constitution.

6. Sorcerer 1: We might be done with fighter, but we’re not done multiclassing! First level sorcerers get Spells they can cast using their charisma. Thanks to an old unearthed arcana, you can be a Giant Soul sorcerer , granting you Jotun Resilience for slightly more HP; 1 extra per sorcerer level. The Mark of the Ordning also grants you extra low-level spells, like Heroism and Shillelagh. Neither of those are really useful to you, but they’re free, and not why we’re here.

For spells that are in character, grab Mold Earth, Create Bonfire, and Light to spruce up the wilderness and make it your own. You can also use True Strike to chop down trees, but that’s dumb, just make two attacks. For first level spells, Earth Tremor and Thunderwave are you stepping around. The former knocks people prone and makes the ground a big crater, the latter pushes them and objects away from you.

7. Sorcerer 2: This level isn’t that complicated, but you do become a Font of Magic for some Sorcery points that come in handy later. You can also cast Catapult to throw stuff around. Sadly, the maximum weight is only 5 pounds, but you can always just throw stuff yourself.

8. Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers get two Metamagic options to personalize your spells using sorcery points. Extended Spell will help out with a certain buff we’re getting this level, extending the length of the spell. You’re also big enough that your spell ranges should grow to match, so grab Distant Spell as well.

This level you can Hold Person, which you tend to take more literally than most casters. After the target fails a wisdom save, they’re paralyzed until they make one. While paralyzed, all attacks are made with advantage, and melee attacks are auto-crits.

Alternatively, you can use the Mark of the Ordning spell, Enlarge/Reduce to make yourself even bigger than usual. (Giant Might explicitly grows to large, so you have to start with that if you want to stack them.)

9. Barbarian 3: After spending half our build elsewhere, we can finally return to our starting class! Third level barbarians set down the Path of the Totem Warrior, letting you use your connection to Babe to pick up all sorts of goodies as we level up.

Immediately, you become a Spirit Seeker, letting you cast Beast Sense and Speak with Animals as rituals to really get into the Babe mindset.

Babe also becomes your Totem Spirit, so we’ll be taking the Elk options whenever possible. Right now, that gives you an extra 15′ of movement while raging. It’s not quite the whole nation in a step, but it’s a start.

10. Barbarian 4: At tenth level, we finally get our first Ability Score Improvement, so round up your Strength and Dexterity for better attacks and a better AC.

11. Barbarian 5: Fifth level barbarians finally get their Extra Attack each attack action, and your Fast Movement adds another 10′ to your movement speed, regardless of whether or not you’re raging.

12. Barbarian 6: Sixth level totem warriors get an Aspect of the Beast, doubling the travel pace for yourself and up to 10 companions. They can just ride on your shoulders, it’s fine.

13. Barbarian 7: Your Feral Instinct gives advantage on initiative rolls, and you can ignore being surprised if you rage at the start of the fight. Raging right away might not be the best option, but that’s for the casters to figure out. You’ve got land development to get to.

You can also use an Instinctive Pounce to move half your movement speed towards an enemy as part of your bonus action when you rage.

14. Barbarian 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Constitution for better runes and more health. You’re pretty squishy for a barbarian, but I guess that’s to be expected, considering what you’re made of.

15. Barbarian 9: Your first Brutal Critical adds an extra die to your critical damage rolls. Big kid, big axe, big damage. Simple math.

16. Barbarian 10: As a Spirit Walker, you can Commune with Nature as a ritual, summoning a cool spirit Babe to tell you stuff about the world around you.

17. Barbarian 11: Your Relentless Rage gives you a case of Guts, letting you make a DC 10 constitution save to avoid dropping to 0 HP, dropping to 1 instead if you succeed. Afterwards, the DC grows by 5, but it resets on short rests. You shouldn’t be getting guts at all, so be grateful.

18. Barbarian 12: Use your last ASI to bump up your Dexterity again for less getting hit. Healing’s nice, but avoiding the damage in the first place is way better.

19. Barbarian 13: You get another round of Brutal Criticals, for another extra die of damage on crits.

Not exactly rocket surgery, huh?

20. Barbarian 14: Your final level gives you your final barbarian goody! Your Totemic Attunement lets you move through a large or smaller creature’s space as a bonus action. It forces a strength save, or the creature is stepped on, knocking it prone and dealing damage.

Pros:

Thanks to your speed, size, and action surge, you can cover a lot of ground very quickly. With 55 feet of movement, two dashes, and an instinctive pounce, you can cover ~195 feet in a single round. Aside from that, your size gives you mobility options that aren’t available to others. Standing around 15′ tall will do that for ya.

You’ve got some solid swings with your axe, letting you deal plenty of damage in a single swing. Bring down the hammer on a natural 20 to blast through those doors. At your biggest you can deal 1d12+1d6+1d4+4 damage. That’s not a smite, but you can do this every turn while enlarge is up.

You get just enough spells to apply a lot of utility to your build, altering the landscape and messing with enemy movement to help out your team.

Cons:

Due to how we leveled up, your first ASI doesn’t come until level 10. If you roll poorly, that might be a problem.

I wouldn’t call you squishy by any means, but you do make for a big target, with your huge size and an AC of only 15 making you easy pickings even before you start getting reckless.

Most of your abilities are tied to your rage, but your biggest size is tied to your spells. They don’t play nice. Even worse, it’s a flavor fail- you can’t trample over people if you’re at your biggest size. (On a semi-related note: being big and being a barbarian have a lot of overlap. Both giant might and raging give you advantage on strength stuff, so having both up is sort of a waste.)

[snowwhitelass]

Sam Heughan: "Any Actor Would Never Say They're Not Interested In James Bond"

The 'Outlander' actor on those 007 rumours, not understanding 'Tenet', and the time he thought Andy McNab was about to kill him

By

Tom Nicholson

09/03/2021

We didn’t bring up James Bond. Sam Heughan did. For the record: he’s flattered, interested, coy and sceptical, in roughly that order. His new film does feel like a none-too-subtle hint that he could be comfortable behind the wheel of an Aston though.

SAS: Red Notice is a Big Action Flick based on Andy McNab’s novel of the same name. In which the very McNab-ishly emotion-free Special Forces operative Tom Buckingham, played by Heughan, has to sort out a bunch of mercenaries who’ve taken a trainful of hostages in the Channel Tunnel while rooting out corruption at the heart of the British establishment.

Buckingham is part Bruce Wayne (independently wealthy, dead parents, sage butler), part John McClane (trapped in a terrorist siege), and, yes, a bit of MI6’s least consistently secretive secret agent too (love of country, mild psychopathy). He is, at least, aware that the ease with which he throttles, stabs and grenade-launchers his way through life might indicate that there’s something wrong with him.

“And I think we can all relate to that, you know, we all have these feelings.” Heughan says over Zoom. He pauses. “[I’m] not saying we all think we're psychopaths. But, you know, it's a man who's slightly lost.”

Over lockdown Heughan’s been busy with work and very slowly learning the piano – “I think I've got up to ‘When The Saints Go Marching In’” – and waiting to hear about the next series of Outlander, his day job and the root of his considerable and vociferous personal fanbase. 

“We're shooting season six. And hopefully, there'll be some news soon, about next season – a possible next season. So we'll see about that. But yeah, I don't know. I think as long as people enjoy it, and we enjoy making it then yeah, long may it live.”

Is it unsettling hanging out with someone who describes themselves as a psychopath?

I found myself at one point in this sort of cave, we were doing some tactical training in Leeds, there was no one there but me and him and we had some weapons with us. I just thought, 'Oh, my God, what am I doing here?' Like, I'm with a guy who's a trained killer, who is a self-professed psychopath. Like, what if he just doesn't like me? What if he thinks I'm not good enough? And he just, that's it, you're gone [Heughan imitates gunfire.] But it was really fascinating because he is the most gregarious, charming, outgoing, intelligent man – by studying him I realised that's how to play him.

Are action heroes necessarily psychopaths?

Somebody asked me earlier, "Is James Bond a psychopath?" There are a lot of high functioning, 'good' psychopaths, as we call them, in the military, but also lawyers, doctors, surgeons – people that have to be in these high stress situations that need to be logical, and not allow their emotions to take them over. It might be a learned behaviour, or it might be something they've been born with, but in a stressful situation they can turn down their empathy, they can turn up their logical thinking, or whatever it is. If they need to be charming, like maybe James Bond, you know, he could be more charming. It's very much about them being able to just manipulate their emotions and turn them on and turn them off. That's what Andy did: he was doing these studies with Oxford University and they had a heart rate monitor on him and checking all of his biometrics. They were showing him a lot of very graphic images and videos, and they saw his heart rate go up, and then just flatline. There's almost like something in his brain just switches off and he can just be totally fine.

You mentioned Bond there, so I’m going to ask the question: is it something you’re interested in?

I think any actor would never say they're not interested. Of course, you'd be interested. I mean, it is all rumours, and sometimes you think, should I, should we even talk about it? Because you don't want to jinx it. I'm sure the people, whoever runs [Bond] – you know, Barbara Broccoli and Eon and all that – they must be sick of it; people sort of throwing their hat into the ring. But yeah, he's a great character, and would be certainly be a fascinating character study and place to kick off. But I think in SAS we have our own authentic note based on real life scenarios, we have our authentic character, so I'd love to explore this one more.

In the past you’ve talked about wanting Scottish independence. Where are you at with that now?

I’m firstly very proud to be British, but certainly seeing the way that that Scotland has been surviving and been very well led, and also the way that the democratic system is set up; that Scotland, despite [being] promised that if we voted to stay in the UK, we would stay in Europe, and then we weren't, we were pulled out of it. The majority of Scotland wanted to stay in Europe, and I think it's important for us to work together with our European neighbours, and to be part of that. It's a time to remain open to other countries, rather than sort of closing our borders off. I think it's also dangerous to have actors sprouting their politics, but that's my personal opinion. I think it's a great country, Scotland, and I certainly would love to see it thrive and do well.

Most people who see SAS: Red Notice are going to see it at home. How’ve you been coping without cinemas and theatres?

I do miss them a great deal and theatre as well. Obviously, [as] an actor they're where I grew up and I would love to see them open again. After the first lockdown, I managed to get to the cinema a couple of times. I love that sort of shared experience, when you're with other people and you're not talking to them but there is this feeling when you're in a theatre or cinema [that] you're having a shared experience.

What did you see?

I saw Tenet and I saw On The Rocks with Bill Murray. Two very different movies.

What did you make of Tenet? Did you understand it?

Honestly as an experience, no, I didn't enjoy it. Watching it as a movie maker, I was in awe of how incredible it was. The action sequences are just stunning and I read about how they did the fight scenes – you know, in SAS, we have some great action sequences and I know how long that takes and how hard it is, so for them to then learn it backwards is ridiculous. But yeah, I was confused, to be honest. Still am.

Have you picked up anything over lockdown you’ve not had time for before?

I actually started teaching myself piano. I got a keyboard and I haven't touched it for about a month but I was enjoying it. I think we've all baked soda bread and drunk alcohol and read books and watched movies. I think now it feels like the spring is almost around the corner, I'm ready to get back outdoors and I really can't wait to get back out into the mountains, especially in Scotland, go hiking and stuff.

Best hike in Scotland?

There’s so many but I'll say an unknown but really beautiful ridge walk – and I love a ridge because you know they curve right the way around – is the Ballachulish ridge. It's a little known ridge, but it's stunning.

SAS: Red Notice is available only on Sky Cinema from 12 March

https://www.esquire.com/uk/culture/a35760811/sam-heughan-interview-james-bond/

[hiswhiteknight]

Unbelievably Outlandish– Part 2

Summary:  Before starting down a new crossroads, the Reader goes onto an adventure of literary traveling. Suddenly tossed into an unbelievable story that has swept the world, The Outlander Series itself. How will a twenty first century woman survive?

Note: I own no characters, except reader, clearly this is based off the lovely book series Outlander by Diana Gabaldon and tv show. This follows more the tv show, but it’s far from accurate. I’m going to try to get better with using less proper English, but who knows maybe I’ll get into Scottish slang.

Pairing: Jamie Fraser x Female Reader

Words: 1600

Warning: Angst, playfulness, cursing, slow start

               “The firebird is broke, Davy,” you mumbled. Your brain was vibrating, your mind was whizzing about with voices and slight colors.

               There were voices all around you, “The lass is waking up,” someone said.

               “This isn’t just a bad dream,” you opened your eyes, the images of blurred bodies started to come clearer. Bunch of men were huddled around a little room. With the vision of kilts, you concluded they were the Scottish rebels the Captain was looking for, “Can you guys lower your voices, I believe I have a concussion and your ramblings are really not helping.”

               “Who are you,” someone questions.

               “What is a concussion?”

               “Where are we,” you said trying to completely understand your surroundings.

               “We ask the questions here,” another voice said, “What’s your name and where you from?”

               You were too exhausted to fight back and too confused to make clear arguments, your head was just fog, “Y/N O’Mulligain and the colonies,” it was all you could say.

               A nervous chuckle came over the group, “An Irish woman from colonies?” They were having trouble with the notion of an Irish person living in the colonies at this time. You were not sure of the facts, but having clear thoughts was a struggle at this point, “Why are you here?”

               You rubbed your head, trying not to chuckle at the realization of your current reality. You rolled your eyes, laughing while thinking of the woman you last saw before this moment, “Adventure.”

               “No,” someone yelled. You winced with the sound, “Ya should have seen the girl. She battled Captain Randall, she knocked him out. I’m not sure what she is, or who, but I bet my best shirt she isn’t a spy.”

               “It doesn’t matter,” another voice said, “Randall is going to be looking for us. We need to go, we need to get Jamie out of here before-.”

               Another voice spoke up, “Why don’t we leave the witch, Randall might want her more since she beat him? Slow him down.”

               “No,” another voice yelled, wincing. By the sound he was making, he was in some pain, “We are not about leaving another person to the British.”

               “Jamie, how bad is it? Can you ride,” your vision was coming to. I didn’t know the story of Outlander, but you got the guise this guy was the Jamie that supposedly was more dreamy than Mr. Darcy, which you knew was to be completely impossible.

               You still haven’t gotten your vision focused and the room was lit only by fire near the chimney, “Hurts sitting still, couldn’t manage a horse.”

               From what you could gauge, his shoulder was dislocated, “We got to put it back.”

               All the man group around this man, they were just going to pull his shoulder up with force. You started to laugh, “You are all so dumb,” you laughed again, with them all turning to you, “You’re going to be breaking the man’s arm like that.”

               You tried to stand, still using the chair for balancing, “What do you know of it? You a healer?”

               Shaking your head, “No, my brother used to get injured every other day. I had to learn how to take care of his countless injuries.”

You started to walk up to the man known as Jamie. When you saw him with fresh eyes you could feel your cheeks blush. He truly was a man fit to his description, what a Greek god. Everyone just looked at you in confusion and distrust, looking like they had no idea what you were saying, “May I,” I push into the group, asking the red head if it was alright to help him with this injury.

               He nodded, “This is going to hurt,” you hit one of the guys shoulders, pointing at this Jamie character, “You’ll need to hold him down.” The men steadied him, “Jamie is it,” you ask gently. He nodded quickly, “This is going to hurt, I mean really hurt.” He nodded understanding what had to be done, “I’ll go on the count of three.” He took a deep breathe, you moved his arm into the right place, “One,” before you could get to two you snapped it back in place.

               Jamie grunted, but instantly looked relieved, “Thought you said on three,” he looked up at you.

               “Just an old trick, I didn’t want you to be thinking of the pain,” you shrugged, rubbing your arms together as you crossed them, “I’m sorry,” looking down at you feet become instantly shy all over again. You not really good with strangers unless your professional life needed it. You whispered, “You just got to keep off the shoulder, massage, and heat will help. Does anyone have a belt or cloth?”

               The man in charged looked to another man and demanded a belt. You slipped it around his body trying not to get into your own brain about this situation. Not only were you out of your comfort zone, but you were out of anything you’ve ever known. Jamie nodded, watching you closely, “Let’s get the horses, we’ve got to go.”

               “I’ll let you guys go, I’ll just be on my way back,” you started, but your arm was grabbed and spun around.

               “You’re coming with us mistress, until we get some more answers.”

               “You aren’t the boss of me, mister,” you said back to him.

               “More like prisoner,” he answered, smiling, “Jamie, you’ll ride with the spy.”

               “I’m not a spy,” you yell back, “I’m just a woman, taking an innocent stroll through the very lovely forest of Scotland.”

               “A regular lady, in pants. Sure,” one guy laughed at you.

               The man in charged approached you, gripping your arm harshly. It took you ever once of your control not to swing around and smash him right in the jaw, “You stay close by us, try anything and I’ll slit your throat.” You stopped breathing for the second, “Come on, give me your foot,” the grumpy guy barked at me.

You gripped Jamie’s hand and mounted the horse, “Haven’t you ridden a horse,” he whispered after feeling your fidgeting.  You shook your head ‘no’ quickly. Being on this horse with this man felt so intimate and it didn’t help it was raining. You didn’t have much clothing for this weather, and you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into. Jamie started to make motions from behind you, “Excuse me, what do you think you’re doing,” you harshly whisper back to him.

“You’re shivering,” he stated, “Seeing if my plaid loose can help cover you lass.”

“I’m not cold, I’m from Pennsylvania we have harsher winters than this,” you said more to yourself than him, “This is just spritzing,” you motion to the rain.

“I’m not sure what any of that means, but,” he chuckled, his breath tickling your neck, “You are shaking so hard you’re making my teeth chatter,” he chuckled again, especially when you helped him wrap it around your waist.

Turning around, slightly bumping his shoulder you ask, “We are going to ride till sunrise?”

“Probably the next as well,” he grinned again.

You rolled your eyes, you had to start formulating a plan to get back to those damn rocks, and hoping they worked once again.

                 You woke to the sun beaming down, you were not sure when you fell asleep. The sun was up and shining, it was beautiful and felt so good to be out of the rain, “Sleep well,” Jamie asked something from behind.

               Forgetting he was almost there, you pulled forward. Honestly, his warm felt so nice, which is probably why you fell asleep so easily, “How long have I been sleeping?”

               Someone rode past, saying something in Gaelic and chuckling with the group. You proceeded to flip him off, which you instantly forgot they had no idea the gesture, “Just a few hours. You haven’t missed anything.”

               You nodded, looking around you. Scotland was for sure dense and you could walk for days and only see one person, but it felt weird to let your guard down. Redcoats were all about this area at this time and place, “Shouldn’t you be worrying about the British raids? I would imagine they’d be rustling about this area,” you said to him. He chuckled but didn’t answer. Your eyes were drawn to this rocky mountain in the distance, “That out there, it looks like a-?”

               “Back of a cock’s tail. Aye, Cocknammon Rock.”

               Turning to look back at him. You were trying to remember what your friend had said about the books and the show, “I am serious. Don’t you find it strange we haven’t heard anything from the redcoats?”

               He watched you carefully, not knowing where you were going with this conversation, “What do you mean?”

               Turning back to look at him better, “The locals know the area better than anyone, but still the redcoats catch outlaws and rob villagers,” he still looked confused. “That up there, that high point is most likely where some redcoats watch, for the vantage point of seeing travelers down here.”

               He looked down in thought for a second, before nodding, “That’s a bonnie place for an ambush right enough,” he quickened up to the front, “Dougal.”

               They started to speak in what you imagined to be Gaelic and you could imagine they were talking about how suspicious your account was and whether it could be good information or not. The man named Dougal leaned into whisper to you, “You’ll be telling me how you come to know there’s an ambush up ahead.”

               “I just do,” you answered quickly, “I have military experience and I’m telling you – the odds are high that there is an ambush ahead.”

               Staring deeply at you, “You’ll be explaining more when we get back?”

               “Get back? What do you-,” Dougal yelled something in Gaelic and you were met with the loss of my breath.

               Jamie looked down at you, “Hide and don’t be going far.”

PART 3 

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 503

Oh, Outlander. Le sigh.

On one hand, this episode gave me everything I’ve been wanting for 84 years a long time: Jamie and Claire, together, working as a team as the center of the episode. On the other hand, this very much did *not* feel like an episode of Outlander.

Bottle episodes are fine. The Garrison Commander, The Wedding and A. Malcolm were all basically bottle episodes. Two of those three are a couple of my favorite episodes of the whole series. This episode was like if the times the show decided to cosplay as a different genre (horror this time, rather than the political drama and military drama we’ve seen them attempt in the past) was dialed up to the point it no longer resembled an episode of the same show. From the music to the directing to p much everything.

This episode made me think that like if Outlander was a Venn diagram it would have Claire and Jamie working together as a team, them in the bulk of the episode, and a Good Episode™ of Outlander. You could have two but never all three.

(Also I hate horror movies. They’re just aggressively not jam.)

Ok but now that Marsali is Claire’s apprentice, can we have her and Fergus find out about time travel this season? Because in the books it’s like vaguely implied in MOBY but we never actually get to see that convo.

Also, yes, Marsali, Boston’s pretty rad. Not that I’m biased or anything. In addition to apparently “discovering” penicillin, we also invented Amurrica.

Shorter Claire’s VO: Idgaf about the timeline anymore. Don’t see how that can go wrong.

So was the blurry af title card Marsali practicing suturing? Why did they shoot it like that. It looks more like how they shot Mr. Beardsley’s POV rather than through the moldy bread covers or whatever it was through.

That whole intro part felt like it came from a different episode and was just tacked on to remind us that mold shenanigans are still a thing that is happening.

I do love Marsali, and her with Claire, though, but still.

SUPER SOFT FRASER FACE TOUCHING!

Ok so Jamie is only gonna do another cross burning when he calls his dudes to fight the English, right? Because he did the whole big thing like “I won’t light the flaming dildo again until we’re going to war” and now he’s raising the militia but not doing the fire part when they showed the new wicker dildo right there up high on the Ridge. So like, because that whole bit was about the men being loyal to him, he’s only gonna light it for freedom, right?

FLAMING DILDO OF FREEDOM

So Fergus using Claire’s list of medical tips as his note for the printer is def not going to come back to bite anyone in the ass. Nope. Def not.

Also I love that the whisky thing is Fergus’ thing in the show.

TEAM KEEP GIVING FERGUS AND MARSALI STUFF TO DO BECAUSE I LIKE THEM AND THE BOOKS FORGOT ABOUT THEM.

How many pigs is Marsali gonna butcher to practice her skillz? Also is Deadguy McWhatshisface still in the cellar somewhere?

Mr. Trouble! I love Germain a lot and would love more of him with Grannie and Grandda, pls and thx.

Also, would *love* some Bree and Marsali time. Maybe next episode while the bros are in Brownsville and they’re at the Ridge by themselves? Pretty please?

Ah yes, plantation jokes. In the time when those exist. And you’ve stayed at one. Come on, Bree.

Oh look, Jamie and Claire not keeping secrets from each other. Good. Well done, kids.

But they’re keeping it from Bree. Who, as the grown-ass woman at the center of the Bonnet bullshit, fucking deserves to know. So fuck y’all for not telling her.

She knows, I know that, but they think she doesn’t sooo, do better.

Lots of callback references from Jamie this season. The thing about his scars last week, Black Jack, the brand Claire cut off and his dad’s stroke this week. Ngl, the show is so different now that those references don’t even seem like they’re from the same series.

Gonna take this twin bit as an opportunity to remind everyone to watch Orphan Black.

Kezzie leaves-his-pants-for-the-kittens Beardsley, too good for this world. Too pure.

You come across a creepy fucking cabin in the woods, that you know is the home of a physically abusive fuckwad, and you immediately split up? Claire. Girl. You’ve seen horror movies.

OMG HAI CATS! I GOT ALL EXCITED THAT ADSO MIGHT BE ONE OF THE PANTS!KITTENS BUT ALAS. SOON. SOON, MY FLOOFER.

I fucking hate jump scares. Like I knew her face was gonna be in the window when Jamie turned back around, because this episode is the most trope-y horror short ever, but still. I fucking do not like horror movies, y’all, and jump scares are cheap.

Jamie on the other hand has never seen a horror movie and clearly doesn’t know that you DO NOT GO INTO THE CREEPY CABIN WITH THE CREEPY JUMP SCARE LADY.

Omfg with the banging door, it’s like they were like ok let’s read Making Horror Movies for Dummies and then put in ALL THE TROPES.

Also, this might be the one instance where the book name was better. Why the fuck would you name the goat Billy when Hiram is *clearly* a superior goat name.

CLAIRE. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING UPSTAIRS. YOU ARE THE GIRL WHO GETS KILLED FIRST IN THE HORROR MOVIE. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. STOP BEING A DUMBASS.

Oh, hey, another jump scare. I’m both bored and annoyed.

Like we finally get an episode that is centered on Jamie and Claire. Together. Team Fraser. And it’s this nonsense.

I cannot with this show, tbh.

“Poor men bleed for rich men’s gold.” Two hundred and fifty fucking years later and it’s still true, Mrs. Findlay.

Did they borrow zombie noises from The Walking Dead for this episode? I swear to fuck every time Mr. Beardsley makes a noise I’m like uhhh, what show am I watching again?

“What you must have done to deserve this.” Yeah, like don’t @ me. I know abuse is fucking wrong. But you know what? This is fucked-up-past-times. Fanny’s out here by herself with no rights and no help. Go for it, girl. Fuck that fucker up.

This season on AHS: Beardsley Farm, the dulcet sounds of afterbirth squelching.

Here I was, all pleased that we were spared Breast Milk and Periodpalooza in the premiere. I should have known better. And yes, I know it’s natural and a part of childbirth, yada yada. I watch Call the Midwife and even *they* don’t fucking squelch it like that.

The subtitles spell Baltimore “Baltimoe” and now I have Another Op’nin’, Another Show from Kiss Me, Kate stuck in my head.

Is it too much to ask that the show find some way to demonstrate the past being The Worst™ that isn’t women and children getting abused or raped or murdered by shitty men? We already know men are shitty. Men are still shitty.

Like seriously, who the fuck does Mr. Beardsley think he is, murdering all his wives for not having babies, Henry VIII?!

“Having a baby doesn’t make me a mother.” Yuppppp. You do what’s best for you, Fanny.

“And your name is Sassenach.” And she’s not even like and “that’s a weird ass name.” I lowkey love Fanny Beardsley?

I still wish they skipped this whole thing though.

Omfg Jamie. BuT tHeY wOn’T bE wItH tHeIr FaMiLy. YOU *HAVE* TO KNOW CLAIRE’S RIGHT. YOU CAN’T BE THAT FUCKING THICK. NO SHIT THE FUTURE IS SAFER. Also, they’re fucking adults. They are their own family. You left Jenny. Young Ian stayed with the Mohawk. PEOPLE GROW UP AND LEAVE AND IT’S OK.

“Maybe she’s gone to find help.” Apparently Jamie *is* that thick. Really, bro? She left to find help? Really? Fucking dumbass.

“And we’ll seek Mrs. Beardsley as we travel.” “We won’t find her.” That’s a nice way of phrasing “You’re a fucking dumbass, she’s gone and claimed her freedom for the first time in her life. Let her have that, you fuckwit.”

The shot of the leaves blowing is literally like straight out of The Walking Dead.

Also loool at the birds.

Oh hey, next week we get all the dumb Brownsville stuff! And probs little to no Claire and Jamie. Exciting times.

[geethedentist]

The Sassenach Warrior

Catch up on Chapter 8 here and read this chapter on Ao3!

Chapter 9: Tea Leaves and Existential Crises 

Torrential rain battered the windows. It was loud but I enjoyed the static as I sat curled up in an arm chair near the hearth with a cup of tea. My boots were strewn on the floor below in favor of woolen socks. The back of my head had a large, sensitive lump from where it had made forceful contact with the floor last night. It was now accompanied by a dull throb and minor light sensitivity. Brady had thought me unconscious, and had turned his back to celebrate a premature victory. The power I felt surging off the ground to claim the true victory was indescribable. The match was hard won but I had triumphed, and Dougal got his hands on another bag of coin this morning. 

Becoming more accustomed to the fighting techniques, I determined that I had graduated to a different opponent. A larger one, whose size I could use against him. These matches were hardly about strength, and anyone who thought otherwise was surely going to lose … to me. 

As Jamie entered the room I sat up straighter, stopped squinting, and tried to appear altogether non-concussed. His face was buried in an empty teacup as he sat in the chair across. “There’s an auld woman in the taproom readin’ tea leaves! Give her yer cup once ye’re finished.”

I shifted in my seat, letting my leg hang over the side. “You actually believe that stuff?” 

“Well, I suppose not fully. But there’s always a voice in the back of yer mind asking if it could really be true.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Yes and there is another, louder voice asking how the hell a bunch of soggy leaves could know that.” 

He feigned a pout. “Ye’re no fun, Sassenach.” 

“Well? What did your leaves say? Oh please don’t keep me in suspense.” Waving my hand in the direction of his cup, I took another sip.

Jamie inhaled deeply, as if he seemed unprepared for me to ask him this. His voice turned serious. “Well, she told me a lot had happened to me for one so young.” He shifted his shoulders, and I knew he was thinking of the scars, Randall, the death of his father. It was silly how something like this could dredge up those memories for him. How could this woman have possibly known what his life was like? 

“She said my hardships were far from over.”

I wondered what more the world could possibly do to Jamie Fraser. 

“But there will be one thing to make it all worth it.” 

I looked up sharply to find his blue eyes staring intently into mine. “One thing?” I whispered. 

And with that, the door from the taproom banged open announcing Rupert, brandishing his empty cup. “I knew it!” He said. “I’m goin’ to be a hero in battle! That will impress the lassies for sure.” 

“Let me see that!” I grabbed the cup from him and inspected the contents. “Well this lump looks a bit like a pile of shite … and would you look at that! This one looks like Dougal!” 

Rupert snatched the cup back. “What do you ken? Ye dinna have the sight!” 

I ignored him and looked into my now empty cup. “I’ve got a snake that’s eating itself, and what appears to be a lopsided bannock.”

Jamie was trying unsuccessfully to hide his laughter at Rupert’s rising anger. Rupert held his hands out for both cups; I gave them to him. “Ye ken on second glance, this clump does bear a slight resemblance to Dougal.” 

“It would seem I have got the sight after all.” 

Rupert suddenly began staring very intently into my cup. “But I would be lyin’ if I said I wasna curious about Claire’s leaves.” 

I stiffened. They still knew next to nothing about me. It wasn’t that I was afraid the leaves were going to reveal my true past. But that whatever they did reveal, true or not, they would likely believe it. Sure enough, Dougal was lurking in the corner of the room as Rupert handed my ‘fate’ to Mrs. Graham. 

She spent an awful lot of time with it, rotating it this way and that. She was squinting the whole time; her pale eyebrows knit together and she looked worried. I had noticed my heart had begun to knock against my ribcage. At last, she set it down on the counter. The only sound was some muffled conversation from some patrons in the corner; all the other mouths were shut for once and all of their eyes were locked on the fortune teller. 

“I read yer tea leaves,” she said finally. “Here’s some whisky.” 

I silently reached for the glass and took a large sip. Clearly she was about to drop a large problem onto my head. Another large problem. Why was I gripping the glass so tightly? I had just finished telling Jamie how this is a load of crap. Who was this women to tell me my fate? She could be making it all up for all I knew. 

I pictured her sitting back and laughing while she watched a bunch of sorry fools running around doing ridiculous things just because they believed it was their fate to do so.

“Your life has been full of tragedy.” She began. “No family, nowhere to go back to. You are an outlander no matter where on this earth you think you can run to.”

Breathing heavily, I abruptly backed off the stool. Jamie got to his feet as well.  “No… you can’t know that.” 

“As for the future,” Mrs. Graham consulted the leaves again. “Should ye so choose, ye can be an integral part of something greater than yourself. It will bring ye much more sorrow, it will bring crushing defeat. But it will also bring great joy, and great passion. Ye can replace what ye’ve lost.” 

All the while she was talking her voice was mounting in intensity, and I was involuntarily backing up towards the door, pricks of tears behind my eyes. With the end of the proclamation, I turned and sprinted out. 

With absolutely no idea where I was going, I kept running. The woman had just laid my whole miserable life out before me, and before everyone. In times when emotions like this began to take control, the cool metal of my ring would give me comfort. I couldn’t even remember how many months it had been since I’d seen the damn thing. 

Should I run off without it? Is it even worth it? All throughout this roiling confusion I was dimly aware of the pouring rain. It didn’t even matter now if I was crying or not. Also becoming apparent was the fact that I didn’t bring my weapons, my cloak, or even bothered to put my boots on. I stopped and looked down at my feet. The once cozy and inviting wool socks were now soaked with mud, and my toes were quickly turning numb. 

So what will it be Claire? Go back, grab your shit, have an awkward confrontation and leave? Or shall I just keep running and lose a couple toes to frostbite? I had a nice head start anyway; everyone else was likely still standing open mouthed in the taproom. 

The scariest thing was not even the harsh reminder of the death of my family. I had always considered myself a solitary person. But when she had declared that I truly had nowhere and nothing to return to, a strange weight of soul crushing loneliness had settled upon me. I had spent so much of my time trying to escape from Dougal that I didn’t even stop to think about what I was going to do when I returned to the pile of rubble that was formerly my parent’s house. My books, my wooden sword and bow, a scorched portrait of my mother lay strewn about in the ash in front of me. I don’t even remember what they looked like. 

I belonged nowhere. 

And it was during this insane inner turmoil when a sound materialized that appeared to be the approach of many riders on horseback. A streak of red between some of the farm buildings at the edge of town, and suddenly I was back in the glade in which I had first met Jamie. A bright red blob in a mass of green, and I stood cursing at myself to move, climb a tree, do something. 

With the same absence of thought with which I sprinted out of the tavern, I was sprinting back. The need to warn Jamie had overshadowed the tea leaves, and my feet squelched in the mud as I picked up speed, barreling back through the door. Mrs. Graham was gone. 

Jamie had returned to the chair by the hearth, his head in his hands. My boots were still on the floor a few feet away. It was as if I had never left, as if I wasn’t standing over his now startled face soaked to the skin and looking like an absolute lunatic. 

“Sassenach, what …” 

“Redcoats.” I blurted out. “You have to hide.” 

“Me? You have to hide!” He spluttered. 

I grabbed his hand and yanked him up the stairs. “All right we both have to hide.” 

I brought him into my bedroom and we crouched just inside the door frame, across from one another. The hallway overlooked the taproom, allowing us to see below. Jamie was looking around the small chamber with wide eyes, as if he found it scandalous for him to be here. I laughed to myself at the thought. My room was a complete mess. The blankets had fallen off the bed, there were empty tankards everywhere, and to be quite honest, it didn’t smell that great.

Dougal was striding around the bar, inquiring about Jamie. “The lad’s done well to make himself scarce. I think some soldiers are headed towards this tavern.” He commented to Angus. “Although don’t ye find it strange the second that sassenach ran out of here, a whole squadron of English show up?” 

“Insufferable fucking bastard. After everything I’ve done.” I groaned angrily and banged my head back against the wall; the doorframe rattled. Pain immediately radiated in all directions and I emitted a high pitched gasp, having aggravated the sore spot from my head injury the previous night. 

Jamie turned his head sharply in my direction. “Claire,” concern dripped from my name, and his hand involuntarily flew up. He forced it back down again. “Are ye all right? Ye’ve been acting quite funny lately and …” He broke off, 

So my strained movements and small winces of pain had in fact not escaped his notice. Of course not. He was more attentive to me than my own damn self. 

“What are you talking about I’m fine.” I quickly removed my hand from the back of my head. 

His eyes narrowed. “Ye never let anyone help you.” 

“I don’t need it or want it. I can take care of myself.” 

Whatever his next rebuke was had gotten cut off when the front door slammed open and in strode about a dozen redcoats. Loud and boisterous, they showed a complete lack of respect for the establishment. Jamie was intently scanning the crowd, undoubtedly looking for Randall. I had no idea of what he looked like. 

“He isna here,” he whispered, more to himself than to me. 

The redcoat in charge had made himself right at home. “Well what are you waiting for?” He sneered at the barman. “Ale for myself and the lads.” 

The poor flustered man scurried about behind the bar, dropping and splintering several glasses in the process. The Englishman had taken up a seat and placed his muddy boots on top of the bar. After the fifteen or so glasses of ale had been served, the redcoat flicked a penny at the barman’s head. 

“Keep the change!” The rest of the men roared with laughter. 

I started to get to my feet. “He can’t just do that!” 

Jamie quickly grabbed my wrist. “Yes, Sassenach. He can.” 

The barman’s face held an expression of utter defeat. Jamie was right. 

“What brings the patrol in today, sir? Ye’re early.” 

“What? We can’t pay a visit to our favorite tavern? Didn’t you miss me?” Came the mocking reply. “Well first off, we’re about to run out of food again, so you’d better tell that little brat of yours to come load up our wagons.”

“Right away, sir.” The man’s head remained directed at the floor. 

For the next hour, the soldiers laughed and drank and harassed the women serving them beer. Jamie and I still sat across from each other. We had started to toss a balled up pair of my socks back and forth. 

“Ow! What did ye have throw it so hard for Sassenach?” He huffed, rubbing his eye. 

I shrugged. “I was bored.” 

Downstairs, the conversation had resumed. The Englishman in charge approached the bar with quite a nasty smile on his face before he spoke. “Rumor has it, you’re harboring fugitives. What’s more, there seems to be an attempt to stir up the rebellion in this very tavern! Among other illegal activities in this shitehole of a town.” Ah. The real reason for the visit. 

Where the hell was Dougal? 

My eyes snapped up to Jamie’s at the very second his eyes came to mine. And for the second time that day, I wanted to run as far away from that tavern as humanly possibly. I made to get up again, wildly turning my head in all directions. Jamie had risked a quick maneuver over to my side of the doorway. His hands held my forearms, and the effect stilled me. Breathing slowing down, I wondered what ridiculous thing I might have done if his touch hadn’t brought me back.

“Claire. Ye’ve got to stay put. What can ye possibly do at this moment?” 

There it was again. His words had driven home the feeling of complete powerlessness conferred to us by the English. My arms trembled with anger and panic under his hands. 

“Fucking nothing.” 

“Nothing aye? All we can do is wait and see what happens.” He said matter of factly. 

“Jamie what if they find us?” I already knew the answer to that. I would be sent to the noose and Jamie would be sent into the arms of Jack Randall. I had never thought my days as a fugitive would come to an end like this. We crouched pressed together, sharing the tiny amount of wall between the left side of the doorframe and the washstand, waiting to see what happened next. 

Downstairs the barkeep, ever the Jacobite, was lying straight to the ugly bastard’s face. “I run a simple, honest establishment sir. I’ll no have ye comin’ in here accusing me o’ such a thing. Not to mention drinkin’ all the ale that I ken well and good ye have no intention of payin’ for! Agh!” 

He crumpled onto the countertop clutching his face into which the redcoat had just emptied his glass. 

The solider grabbed the man by the front of his shirt. His eyes were red and streaming. “See to it that you’re telling the truth then. Because there is a little English bitch and a red headed Scottish brute both of whom the Crown would love to welcome into its custody. The next patrol will be by again in two weeks. If you don’t have more food, we will be taking more coin. Get up lads, we’re leaving.” 

As the last redcoat lurched out the door, Jamie and I let out simultaneous breaths. I turned to look at him. “Are you all right, red headed Scottish brute?”

“Better than ever, little English bitch. But my arse seems to have fallen asleep.” He grinned. “I want to thank ye for coming back to warn me. I ken those tea leaves really unsettled ye.”

I had completely forgotten about the tea leaves. 

“Jamie!” Dougal’s voice sounded from somewhere above. He must have made his way up to the attic during the little English tea party. 

“Right here, Uncle.” Jamie rose, and extended a hand down to me. 

Dougal stopped in front of the doorway, and narrowed his eyes at me. “Where in the devil have you been?” 

I stomped my foot and opened my mouth to give him a wise mouthed answer when Jamie gently squeezed my wrist, a sign which I took to mean shut up. 

“Claire was here with me the whole time. She was the one who told me to hide in the first place. She was the one who first spotted the patrol. I should think ye can place a bit more trust in her, Dougal.” He snapped at his uncle. 

I had the grace not to smirk at him over Jamie’s shoulder. 

A couple days, a couple more bags of coin, and more than a couple bruises later, I was about to return to the tavern from my latest fight. Of course, it was decided that we would be leaving this town in a few days time, before the redcoats tore the place apart looking for us, and I told Gavin as much. 

“Aye it seems that surprise patrol has put everybody on edge. I was actually going to close down the ring for a bit after tomorrow night.” 

“Well you can be sure to see me tomorrow. I wouldn’t miss my last fight for the world.” I would miss this, and I hoped I would have the opportunity to do it again someday. 

“Dinna tell anyone, but ye’re the bonniest fighter that I’ve ever seen.” He smiled. “Half the lads are scared of ye!” 

“As they should be. Goodnight, Gavin.”

After going through my ridiculous ritual of hiding behind the stables for twenty minutes and then creeping up to the window to make sure the coast was clear, I caught sight of the heinous reflection starting back at me and heaved a sigh. My breath caused a bloom of fog across the glass. 

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.” 

My left eyebrow was almost completely split in two, a dark mass of congealed blood in between. It was surely going to leave me with a lovely little bald spot after it healed, and not even a win tonight to show for it. Given only half the coin I normally receive, I groaned at the prospect of a disappointed and now spoiled Dougal in the morning. 

I had been cocky and overconfident in my big genius plan and I could have split my other eyebrow myself because of how foolish I’d been. Who knows how much money I had just handed over? 

Do you not think things through on purpose or are you that stupid, Beauchamp?

And yet, despite the fact that Scotland was accepting my donations to its fight for  freedom in the form of Dougal Mackenzie’s greedy hands, it felt right somehow. 

The footsteps were completely silent. 

“Claire?”

[nellie-elizabeth]

Outlander: The Ballad of Roger Mac (5x07)

Boy howdy. Let's dive straight in to this one... I'm going to put everything under the cut so as to avoid spoiling stuff.

Cons:

If you've been reading my reviews all along, you'll know I've gone back and forth on how I feel Murtagh has been integrated into the story, since during these events in the books he is already dead. Now that we are saying goodbye to Murtagh's character, and I have a sense of his full arc on the show, I can make a firm ruling on how I felt he was utilized. Honestly, he didn't have a lot to do for a couple of seasons there, just sort of vaguely there in Ardsmuir, and then appearing only to constantly vanish and never really establish a role in the main story. I also think his romance with Jocasta was a total failure. I was not compelled by it at all. In fact, Murtagh being the kind of man willing to die for his principles makes it all the more frustrating that he'd have this relationship with a member of the landed gentry. Yes, Jocasta is Scots, but she's also a plantation owner, a slave owner, and a firm upholder of the status quo. They didn't really go into the implications of that, beyond the fact that it made their love story "forbidden" and "tragic." And as I've mentioned in the past, I don't have a lot of sympathy for Jocasta as a character.

All of that said, I did thing there were things about Murtagh's story-line, this season in particular, that really, really worked, and I'll talk about those in a moment.

We should talk about Roger, though, right? Why was this episode called "The Ballad of Roger Mac"? It ends on a cliffhanger (oof I feel insensitive even using the word "hanger" like that), and book readers will know what comes next. It just felt odd to name the episode for him when his plot is basically relegated to the background. This was Murtagh and Jamie's episode much more than it was Roger's. I also thought that the foreshadowing of Roger's doom was really heavy-handed. Showing him singing to Jemmy, and promising his son to come back and sing to him again... book readers, once again, have a unique reason to know why this whole thing is so ironic, but it didn't have the deft touch that one might have hoped. Also, the grief and pathos of Murtagh's death overshadows how we should be feeling about Roger. I'm not the biggest fan of Roger and Bree, especially in the show, unfortunately. But he was kind of given short shrift here, and it felt odd to name the episode for him when clearly it's next week that we'll be focusing on his character more. (I tried to write this whole paragraph without spoilers for the crowd who hasn't read the books... not sure how I succeeded!)

Pros:

I want to linger on the Roger situation a bit more, though, before moving on to other things. I did like his little side-quest, the way he went to find Murtagh and warn him that the Regulators were sure to lose - Brianna remembers the battle of Alamance from her school books. He gets to have utility here, gets to try and do right by his fellow country-men, and even though his mission is pretty much doomed to failure, it says a lot that Jamie is willing to trust him with it.

We also see him reunite with his ancestor Morag MacKenzie, and try to warn her about the coming fight. And... we meet William Buccleigh MacKenzie, the bastard child of Dougal MacKenzie and Geillis Duncan! Played again by the same actor who played Dougal, Graham McTavish, which I think is quite fun. I hate to keep saying "readers of the books will know," but readers of the books will know of this character's coming importance, so I think it's so awesome that Graham McTavish is back to play him. The connection between Roger and Morag is a strange and oddly intense one, for good reason. Roger knows he's speaking to his many times' great-grandmother. He is a man who lost his parents young, and longs for the connection of family. And Morag is reunited with the man who saved her life on Bonnet's ship, when she and her baby might have been thrown overboard. Of course they would feel a bond, and stupid Buck has to come along and misinterpret things, setting off all manner of trouble and heartbreak.

In the main plot, we've got the War of the Regulation coming to a head at Alamance. Tryon on one side, Murtagh on the other, with Jamie stuck in the middle. This is where I think Murtagh's continued presence on the show really worked well. The image of Jamie Fraser wearing the iconic Redcoat of the British army is really striking, and it works all the better when he comes face-to-face with his godfather in the woods. Jamie knows, and Murtagh knows, that in a couple of years they would have been fighting on the same side. Roger even reminds Murtagh of it. But Jamie has decided to set aside his principles for the sake of protecting his family, and Murtagh has decided he's alright with dying for his own beliefs. In this moment, right at the end, neither can truly blame the other for any of it. I really believe this is a well-written tragedy, at the end of the day. These two men, bonded by their love for each other and long life of friendship and loyalty, forced by circumstances to fight on opposite sides.

And Murtagh's last act on this earth is to protect Jamie Fraser, like he promised Ellen he always would. That's some heartbreaking stuff, yo. The way Jamie took Murtagh's body to Claire and begged her to heal him, wishing for a miracle, the way he yelled for her to do something, the way he told Murtagh he took it back, he won't release him from his oath, "you can't leave me"... all of this stuff just tugged at my heartstrings in the best way. And then Claire saying her quiet final goodbye, to the first true friend she met in the past. Murtagh is the one who saved her from Jack Randall in her first minutes in the 18th century. Their friendship spanned literal centuries, and I was almost more touched by Claire's grief than I was by Jamie's. Well, maybe it's a tie. Murtagh will be missed. This last episode was one of his strongest.

Lest we forget that this story is a romance between Jamie and Claire, we do get some cute moments lifted straight from the books, including the conversation about "taking stock" on Jamie's fiftieth birthday. (Holy shit does he not look fifty. Sam Heughan is ten years his characters' junior, and they might have done a bit more to reconcile that, in my opinion!) They have their cute banter about Jamie's parts all being present and accounted for, Jamie reflects quietly that he has now lived longer than his father ever got the chance to, and then Claire treats Jamie to a Marilyn Monroe-style happy birthday serenade, which was a lot of fun. We also got Jamie's promise to Claire that while they one day will be forced to separate, today is not that day. This proves to be true, although the day does bring other grief, of course.

Jamie's outburst to Tryon at the end of the fight was something I believe really was altered quite significantly from the books. It makes sense that in a TV show setting, you'd need to forego some of the subtle, nuanced stuff that can be portrayed in a novel. I think it quite worked for Jamie and Tryon to discuss how this battle is going to be remembered throughout history. Tryon insists he was restoring order and doing right by the law, while Jamie says "there is the law, and there is the way things are done." He knows that the slaughter of innocents, men just fighting for a cause, can never be right. He has known the bitter taste of being on the side of the oppressor, and you can really sense that his disgust is for himself as much as it is for Tryon, when he takes the redcoat off and throws it to the ground. This was a great performance from Heughan!

There are other things I could talk about, like Isaiah Morton's brief subplot, or Brianna's heroic ride to the camp to warn them that the Regulators are going to lose (which honestly - duh, but whatever, I'll let it go). But by and large, this was an episode about Jamie, and about Murtagh. I'm really excited to find out how they handle certain aspects of the plot moving forward, especially as regards our secondary leads Brianna and... well... let's all just tune in next Sunday to see what's next!

8/10

[riddlesandqueries]

Excerpt

A brief roleplay scenario with @darcimasonusb​ and  @enterthecocoon​ concerning conspiracy, crime, and damsels in distress.

Though many criticized Drury’s taste when it comes to fashion, he thought it was a smart Idea to wait in casual clothes  that had reminiscent qualities to his Moth suit, waiting in an orange jacket, purple pullover, and green trousers, all toned down to more moderate levels as too bright colours would attract unwanted attention swirling around him. People really were just like Moths.

Someone who wasn’t looking for Killer Moth wouldn’t recognize him, so only his fellow rogue Edward Nygma, A.K.A. the Riddler, would be aware of his true self- and hopefully be persuaded to let him be part of whatever his grand plan is. Asking around in the darker parts of this city, Drury wasn’t even able to pick up on any rumors of what he may be planning - but there is always a calm before the storm and no doubt the only reason the Riddler would be silent for so long was because he was busy with preparations - whatever he may be preparing. He took a final sip of the milkshake he bought at the Hill street cafe, placed the empty glass on the table and stood up. His potential collaborator should be here any moment. He looked around: no sign of him yet.

Hoping that Mr. Nygma hadn’t forgotten about their meeting - or even worse, purposefully stood him up, he took out a Star Wars comic that he recently bought out of his jacket to diminish the waiting time while reading it. Perhaps following Jedi Knight Ki-Adi Mundi on his journey through the desert planet of Tatooine would bring him to less self-deprecating thoughts.

Conversely, dressing down for Edward was simply a matter of adjusting style. There was shifting colour to match the season, more deviance from the standard pallet, but there was never much mistaking, for those who knew what to look for, who he was.

Precisely on time, Edward closed his pocket watch as he strolled in, and pocketed it as he looked about. Ah, there. No mistaking the brand: obtaining a quick coffee to go, Edward meandered over to Drury. “Mr Walker?”

“Ah!” Drury recognized him, closing his comic book to put it back in his jacket and politely holding out his hand. “Mr. Nygma!”

Taken, shaken. “What were you reading?”

After shaking Edward’s, Drury led his hand back to the pocket and pulled the comic back out, the cover displaying a wise-looking old man with a white beard weilding a magenta-bladed Lightsaber, posing in front of animals and bandaged characters that Edward may have recognized as Banthas and Tusken Raiders respectively. Above the characters, the title of the comic was presented: Star Wars: Outlander The Exile of Sharad Hett - Issue 5.  "Oh, it’s just a little comic I read to pass the time. It just came out today, so I picked it up on the way here.“

"Oooo, new one. I’ll have to catch the new issue on the way back, I’ve been way behind.” he chuckled, wiggling his coffee. “No spoilers, hm?”

“Oh, you’re reading it, too?”, Drury asked. “I mean, if you’ve been behind, I could borrow you some of my comics. The story is getting a lot more interesting than the first arc and ties better into the new Movie.”

“Reading, no. Have yet to begin, yes.” he admitted. “Now…what’s all this about, Drury?”

“That’s what I’d like to know.” Drury responded. “You’re planning something big, aren’t you? I’d like to be part of it.”

Edward paused for a beat, brows raised, and then sipped his coffee with a smirk. “How’d you guess.”

Drury smirked back. He thought this a sign of admittance. “Your silence spoke more than a thousand words. You’ve been too quiet lately. And whenever I think "I sure wonder what the Riddler’s up to, I’ve not heard from him in a while”, the next day’s papers report on you trapping Commissioner Gordon in a virtual reality game. Or taking over a toy company. What’s it gonna be this time? I’d love to get involved!“

Edward’s smirk never moved, even at the mention of The Incident. Note to self, destroy newspaper archive. "You would, huh? I have to say, I don’t usually take on any accomplices.” he frowned, casually peering into his coffee, as if it had some counsel for him on the subject. “I confess, I’m a bit of a lone wolf about my affairs, and I think this one might be somewhat out of your wheelhouse, Walker.”

“C-come on, I’m sure I can be of help somehow!”, Drury interjected. “I can show you how useful I can be! We could look around if we see the Cops chasing some crook, I could make sure they don’t get them!”

“You think so?”

“I know so! Saving crooks from the cops is my modus operandi!”

How is that meant to match up with mine, I wonder. “Perhaps I need a demonstration.” offered Edward, having another sip. “To see what would actually be at play.”

Drury placed down his milkshake. “Should we go out and look for some criminal running for the cops? Shouldn’t be too hard to find in this city.”

“Sure~” Why not? It’d give him time to think of a polite blow-off.

“Excellent!” Drury got up and opened the door of his car. “After you!”

“Thank you~” he smiled, sliding in. This should make for a fun afternoon, looking about for mischief with a D-lister. But bothering the cops? Might want to start a little smaller. “I have an idea, Walker.”

An ecstatic “Oh? Yes?”, came out of a grinning Drury, eager to impress another rogue.

“Instead of hunting out those dunderheaded police, why don’t we raise the stakes a bit?” he offered slyly, smiling in clear conspiracy. “And pursue a criminal instead. Someone bright enough to think like us? That’s a challenge.”

“Oh…of course! Not quite my style, but I think I should be able to do it!”

“Not a sincere catch, mind you.” he chuckled kindly. “Just enough to shake up some street-level mugger, have a little fun.”

Drury placed his hands on the steering wheel and started up the engine. As if Killer Moth couldn’t handle a common crook. “Consider it done!”

Darci had a straightforward, however tame, day ahead of her. Take in the surroundings. Learn the area. Make note of any signs or signals that may cross her path. Street Smarts.

For this occasion, she wore a maroon coat over a black and white patterned pencil dress. Something autumn to get used to the times. The idea was to just walk around town and don’t look suspicious. And surprisingly enough, she was succeeding! Until she left the bustling crowded streets, that is.

Meanwhile, for the small-time crook known as Clyde, this had been a day of realisation. He was starting to notice how poorly thought-out his tactic of driving around the emptier streets of the city and robbing whoever walked around alone was - no one with a decent amount of money ever came to this part of the city, and the places they did come to were too crowded to pull anything.

But as if fortuna herself had heard him, he spotted a dainty, easily-overpowered young lady walk around the streets. Putting his mask on, he parked in front of her and got out of his vehicle. “Hello, lady.”, he said. “That’s a nice purse.”

Darci took a second to recognize the situation. She knew exactly what was gonna happen. Oh and what fun it would be. “Hello, person.” she replied. “That’s a nice mask.”

“Why, thanks.” he said dryly, taking out his gun. “I bet the purse’s contents are nice, as well. Show me.”

“Oh nooo.” she said in a rather monotone voice. “Whatever shall I do?” Darci walked up to him, with a funny sort of smile. She looked straight down the center pin of his revolver. “You know, you also have a nice gun!” she laughed. One hand crept onto the barrel like a spider while the other tucked her clutch behind her back. “It’s a darned shame isn’t it?” She had a solid grip.

Clyde became somewhat unsettled at the blonde’s reaction. Was she too foolish to realise the situation? Or perhaps, it was he who didn’t know what he was dealing with.

————

Meanwhile, looking for crime through a pair of binoculars on top of a building, Drury Walker’s sight fell upon the robber and his uncooperative victim. “Hey, Edward.”, he said, handing him the binoculars. “Isn’t that girl there being robbed?”

The drive to a random building and the consequent climb up the fire escape was daring enough, but now, Edward wondered, as they scanned the area in broad daylight, was this the very picture of the Dark Knight’s moonlighting? Or, in this case, is it daylighting..?

Reverie interrupted, Edward calmly peered down to the scene in question.“Looks like it, Walker. What’s the plan?”

“We track the crook, incapacitate him and get the poor lady’s belongings back. Can you make out his license plate?”

“Not from here, but you know, we could probably catch up. Looks to me like they’re arguing.”

“That gives us more time! To the Mothmobile!” he exclaimed, despite knowing full well that the car they travelled with was not said Mothmobile. Edward followed, swift on Drury’s heels.

—–

Clyde just stared at the lady’s confused reaction. Was this some sort of self-defense strategy? “Hands off!” he shouted, trying to rip the gun from her grasp.

Darci was more than calm with an iron grip. “What’s the matter? Are you…” she lifted the gun out of his hands and held it like a cigarette. “Nervous?” Her deviance had shined through. Darci taunted him by fiddling with the gun. “Getting a closer look at this really makes me appreciate the craftsmanship… I think I’ll be keeping it!”

Then, in a rush she got a brilliant idea! It wasn’t everyday she could get to do this you know.

“Oh and! Let’s not forget all the trouble you put me through!” she dramatized the past minute “I’ll accept your jacket as payment!” She pointed the gun at Clyde, smiling as if to say ‘pleasure doing business with you!’.

Tapped, Clyde slowly pushed the sleeves off of his shoulders. “Didn’t know you were another crook…”

“Yeah, well, when you assume it makes an ass outta you! But you already did that when you pulled up here, didn’t'cha?” Darci held her aim steady, watching his move.

He carefully handed her his jacket, then raised his arms up.

“Good! Good! Now get outta here ya rascal!” she laughed, lowering the revolver. A job well done :). Darci folded the jacket neatly over her arm.

Carefully, the robber stepped back to his car, his hands kept up.

“Halt! I have seen everything!”  came a voice from the side, and as they followed its sound their eyes met a tall, muscular man in a full, overly bright Moth costume. Clyde wasn’t sure what to make of this. A new addition to the bat family? The red eyes of the bugman laid onto the Robber. “Worry not, fair citizen, for today, the Killer Moth seeks to bring justice. And you…” He now looked upon Darci. “Taking some poor, innocent soul at gunpoint and stealing his jacket…you should be ashamed of yourself!”

“Ack!” Darci jumped up in surprise and pointed the revolver at Killer Moth. Her hands were shaky. The tacky uniform. The overly enthusiastic voice. The oddly muscular body. It all set off alarms in her head. It’s obvious this is one of Schott’s toys.

“Damn you! You think you can just take me to em’ that easy? Yeah, I don’t fucking think so!”

Is this how Crooks usually react to being caught? Moth wondered. No wonder Batman is always in such a bad mood.

He returned by aiming his cocoon gun at her and having the other hand ready to start up the Wings on his back. “Resistance is futile! Drop your weapon.”

How long did he take to make this guy?

“Funny! I was just about to say the same thing!” she fired the weapon at Moth’s left wing and attempted to dodge behind Clyde’s car. Whatever his gimmick was, she didn’t want to see it in action.

Taken aback by the Gunshot, Moth tried to dodge by ungracefully leaping aside, landing on his arm and unwillingly shooting a blast of cocoon substance, revealing his gimmick. Having saved his wing in the process, he began to hover up in the air and surprise her from above.

“Oh Jesus fucking Christ!” she blurted out. The gunk from his gun looks like it immobilizes the target. Right.

“So that’s what you do! This bootleg action figure trick is getting old, actually.” she walked backwards and aimed again. “What is this? The third time he’s made someone like you? Jeez.”

1. 2. 3. Fire! She shot the cocoon blaster.

The bullet pulled the gun out of his hand, having it hit the street. Moth reached to his utility belt for a new weapon. Frightened by the shot, Clyde took away in his car. He didn’t care about these freaks killing one another, but he did not want to be involved anymore.

“Bootleg? I am the original! I never copy anyone!” Moth insisted, searching for a new weapon in his utility belt. Not that he was too worried: his suit was designed to tank a bullet or two.

Not wanting to hear his spiel, she tried to fire again. Click! “…” Clickclickclickclickclickclickclick!  She threw the revolver to the side. “…” There’s no way you’re winning this fight, Darci.

“Well, it’s been a fun time playing with you, but I really gotta go!” she secured her other items in her arm and skid underneath Moth to find ample means of escape.

“Oh, you’re not getting away that easily, you simple crook!”, he said, flying up behind her, grabbing her by the waist and flying upwards, though she did struggle a lot more than he had expected her to. Furthermore, she felt somewhat strange for a human being, much colder and harder. “What are those? Abs of steel?” Steel?

This scene, as it had played out before him, had been terribly amusing for Edward in the same fashion as a slapstick comedy, but that woman was just too familiar, and steel, of all the words, clicked it all together.

Strolling out of the alley, Edward waved at the pair. “Darci, hi! Is that you?”

Moth sat up and readjusted his helmet. “Edward, you’re here already? I’ve been trying to catch this crook, like you ordered!”

“You mean the crook who was robbing her and got away?”

“Edward!!! Hello!! :D!!” Darci lit up to see her good friend, and hastily wormed her way out of Moth’s arms with ease. That was simpler than I expectedbut oH MY GOD FRIENDFRIENDFRIEND!!! She leapt towards him.

Moth was visibly confused. Did he mess up again? “But…no, wait - she was the robber! I saw her hold the guy at gunpoint and took his jacket!”

Edward opened his arms and embraced Darci with an audible grunt at the impact, settling in with a suppressed cough. “Nice to see you again, sunshine. Drury, this is my friend Darci, she’s no robber. You yourself saw her being held up when we got off the roof: don’t you think it’s sensible to hold someone up when you get the upper hand on them?”

“I didn’t make out who was holding whom up, but..uh…” He took off his helmet and put his face in his hand in shame. “I messed up again, didn’t I? Darci, I think your name was, I’m really sorry for all the trouble I caused you!”

Darci turned to look at Drury. She took a minute to analyze his laugh lines and other distinguishable facial features. He’d be a very clean cut man if he didn’t have a bad case of helmet hair. “No, no you’re alright. You were just trying to do your job…and, hey, sorry about the whole 'bootleg’ thing. I thought you were someone else.”

His facial expression turned just a little less shameful, he reached out his hand. “It’s fine. Wanna start over? My name’s Drury, Drury Walker.”

She slowly let go of Ed and walked in to shake Drury’s hand. “…Darci Mason.”

“Heh, like the Doll?” he asked, then realised this may offend her. “Sorry, you must get that all the time. It’s just that my daughter loves collecting these.”

She gave a well-meaning smile, but her face crinkled into a worried expression. “Yeah, like that. It’s alright.” Darci let go of his hand. Change the subject to something else. Anything else.

“I hope you’re not hurt or anything…have you seen which direction my Cocoon Gun flew in?”

“I’ve seen worse days. Mm, it went…” retrieving 102899.MP4 After a brief pause:“That way.” she pointed southwest from where Drury was facing.

“Are you all right?” asked Edward, checking her over. “That mugger didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“I’m fine!” she laughed. “I even got some loot out of it! I think it’s a Nautica Jacket…”

“Ah, there it is!”, Drury said after finding the gun. “Thank you, Miss Mason, you’ve got a pretty good eye!”

Edward laughed softly, quite amused. “Nice score. Walker and I were on a hunt for criminals, just to see how they operate. He spotted you while you were getting mugged, so he came in to try and stop it.”

“So that’s why!” She snapped her fingers. “That sounds exciting!”

“It’s been fun so far: didn’t think we’d actually run into anyone interesting, so this is a real treat for me.” he nodded proudly. “Walker’s not aiming to hurt you, I promise…At least, as far as I know.”

“I’m not! I promise!”, Drury threw in defensively.

“There, see? Silly mistake~. We rogues can be such goofs.”

"Hmm.” Darci circled around Drury a couple times. Putting her hand to her chin and audibly saying “mmhm” more than a few times with a look of playful suspicion. After a sustained pause… “I’ll give him the Charles Atlas Seal of Approval!” she clapped!

[lothirielswan]

“Wanna Smell Books with Me?” [19]

Join the journey on AO3 too!

Quest Objective: Someone please hold Jaina's beer.

~Wrathion, the Violet Citadel~

“You have what was promised?”

The banners of lilac and cobalt churned at the top of the alabaster steps. Torches played games with shadows across the floor. Dalaran was known for its knowledge, and yet everything seemed hidden by a layer of smoke.

Grand Magister Rommath gestured with his hands, and a wooden crate settled on the cold ground.

Left and Right guarded the staircase at the bottom, so no one would interfere with our transaction. Anyone who came close was given a death stare along with a long rifle pointed at their nose. Such ferocity. Such power.

I lifted a talon. Two more agents descended from the shadows and cracked open the lid with their blades. Rommath raised a slender eyebrow, but gave no reply.

The artifact rested on cushions of silk. It's intricate golden design was uncanny, created by beings of much higher thinking. Certain parts of the strange machine gave off a soft glow. There was a subtle familiarity to it; it looked exactly like my visions from the Thunder King.

“Our archeologists scoured Northrend, the Badlands, Uldum. We found the pieces scattered throughout.” The Grand Magister explained. His features were bathed in twilight hues of gold, azure and violet that made up the room. The dark velvet of my robes were sun-kissed by the gleam of the artifact, like the first rays of dawn. A new beginning.

I hummed with satisfaction. No more hiding. No more shame. The Black Dragonflight will reclaim what is rightfully ours.  

“It was a pleasure doing business, Grand Magister,” His title rolled off my tongue. I snapped my fingers, and two more lackeys emerged from the darkness of the room to carry the crate out of sight. Rommath’s quirked eyebrow grew more rigid.

“You have an abundance of recruits.” He said.

I lightly shrugged my shoulders with a pinch of modesty. “I’m comfortable. I’m afraid you can't say the same.”

I heard of the plight of the sin’dorei. The filthy remains of the Scourge still ran across their homeland, and the elves’ numbers were few. It was a shame, such powerful sorcerers turned to arcane addicts. They did not wander ruins simply for the joy of finding lost artifacts.

Rommath did not appear pleased to bring up the state of his homeland. “That is not a Black dragon’s business.”

“But it could be.” I said.

The bare muscles of his arms stiffened. Rommath muttered, “In what way?”

“I have plans, Grand Magister. Plans that will change the course of Azeroth,” Said I. I was poised and proud, shoulders out as if I had my wings on display.

“Your people are near extinction; I can modify that. Your forces can join mine, and I will reward you.”

Rommath was silent for a moment. “You sound like the Betrayer.”

Illidan Stormrage. Another famous figure. I never had the luxury to meet the former Lord of Outland, but he surely lived up to his reputation during the Legion’s recent invasion.

I replied, “The Betrayer did what was necessary to achieve a higher goal; he opposed the Legion-–”

“And many died in that campaign.” Rommath took another step closer. His fists were clenched like two threatening boulders of marble. The bridge of his nose creased like cracked alabaster. “Many suffered. Many are still paying the price. I would caution you with whatever plot you have come up with.”

“...So that's a no on joining me?” I remarked, unfazed by his closeness and the pain laced within his voice.

The Grand Magister’s head cocked to the side. “The fate of my people is not for me to decide; that is the Regent Lord’s will, what little remains of it. I will inform him of your offer, and the costs.”

Rommath gave a curt nod with his scarf still covering his lips, a last mockery that I still did not know everything he did.

His back was to me when I called out one last time. “Grand Magister?”

His shoulders slumped from exhaustion, and faced me with his expression still disguised behind scarlet silk. “Yes, Black Prince?”

My lips curled into a smile, baring my teeth with sharp points to be persuasive. “I urge you to consider my proposal. I doubt your people would like to be on the wrong side of history a second time.”

Rommath’s eyes narrowed. “Perhaps you should follow your own advice.”

~Eona, the Purple Parlor~

“Jaina, please-–”

“No. Jaina’s not here right now. Jaina’s on vacation.” Jaina held up a cautionary finger as she slumped down into one of the padded chairs. Her interest moved to the bookshelf near her as I pleaded with her.

“I don't know where Khadgar is and I got a bad-omens vibe from Chromie! Please? I’ll pay you back for the danish.” I replied.

Jaina shot me a foul look at the mere mention of the pastry. But she didn't answer. Instead, Jaina pulled a random book from the shelves, opened it, and hid her face behind the cover.

“Oh,” She moaned into the ink-smothered parchment filled with knowledge. “I miss that smell. I miss books. I miss my youth.”

I lowered her book so I could meet her gaze. “You’re still incredibly young.”

“Ha!” Jaina settled back in her chair and propped her feet up on the nearest table. “Young. What is young? Innocence. Ambition. Love…”

Her fingers suddenly clenched the leather cover of the novel. “Arthas is dead.”

I flinched and felt a pang of guilt. I managed a breathy response, “Yes, he is.”

Jaina gently tugged at the bottom of her braid. So much of her blonde locks had been consumed by the frosty white arcane. Her eyes were black and blue, like ice in the dark. Her voice was melodic like a river, and it had been frozen over. She was still young. But she looked exhausted, like the years had feasted on her spirit.

“It's an odd thing to say, but...I feel like him now.” Jaina’s attention was lost to some illusion that I could not see. Her fingers twitched towards the brooch. “Arthas, he was such a contradiction. He loved his people. He fought undead. He opposed dreadlords. Then he changed. He killed his people. He lead the undead. He took orders from dreadlords.”

Jaina stroked the crest with her thumb. “And now here I am. I used to have faith that everything would work out alright. I used to have faith in myself. Now...”

She shook her head, not for long, but with intensity, as if she could banish the thoughts like one could wring blood out of a healer’s rag. “Now I'm young. And my youth is gone.”

I didn't know what to say. I stole a chair from the other side of the table and dragged it next to hers. At random I plucked a book from one of the shelves and glanced over at her.

I bit my lip as I held up the novel. “Wanna smell books with me…?”

Jaina’s eyes were glassy as she stared at the cover. She nodded, a small smile on her lips. She wiped at her eyes. “I thought you would never ask.”

Our arms brushed together as I opened the first page and started to read. Yes, Khadgar and Dalaran needed us. But Jaina needed this more.

“The girl’s fiance dies in that one.” Jaina remarked.

I looked up at her smirk. “This is what I get for stealing your danish?”

“You brought a bookworm along to smell books, Eona. You should’ve known that something would get spoiled.”

~*~

We were still reading in the Purple Parlor when the air thickened from a teleportation spell. Arcane crackled across my skin and light filled the chamber.

I blinked a few times, stunned by the new change in the atmosphere. Jaina was used to the way of magics and was already standing, staff in hand. Her expression turned grim.

“Khadgar!” I ran to him as I made out his form.

I caught his arm as he stumbled, feeling the coldness of his skin through his dark blue robes. He was pale, and his forehead glistened with sweat as he swayed on his feet.

Archmages Modera and Aethas materialized on his sides. They wore the same drained expressions. Jaina helped Modera down as Khadgar teetered in my grasp.

“Eona...you never told me you had sisters,” Khadgar gasped. I held onto his arms, trying to still him as best as I could.

“Huh?” I said.

“Yes,” Khadgar held up a finger, pointing to the air around me. “There’s three of you...am I counting right? Aethas! What do your elf eyes see?”

“Stars...so many stars...” Aethas groaned and yanked off his hood to massage his temples.

I lead Khadgar to a one-armed sofa as he spoke in his dreamy state of delirium. “You know, I bet if Sylvanas raised me from the dead...I’d be like Beetlejuice.”

I sat the Archmage down and frowned as I leaned over him. “Please don't give me that mental image, Khadgar.”

“No, it's perfect! You can be Lydia! IT’S SHOWTIME-–wee!” I urged Khadgar down to lie on the sofa, smoothing out his hair as I did so.

I glanced over at Jaina as she examined the other two mages.

“What happened to them?” I asked. I wonder if Anduin is still here. He’s a skilled healer, he might know.  

“You know, Eona, you smell really nice.” Khadgar rasped below me. “Kind of like strawberries. Which is funny, you look like a strawberry. You’re covered in seeds…”

I crossed my arms. My white linen shirt came down to my elbows, so the freckles drizzled across my arms were still visible.

“Where were you last, Modera?” I heard Jaina ask.

I joined the two mages across the parlor. Modera seemed less hysterical than Khadgar, but just as exhausted.

“Violet Hold,” She gasped. “the prisoners escaped...we went to track them...they trapped us there. Kalecgos is still with them-–”

My eyes flew open. Jaina and I exchanged a look.

“–-then we faced the Vampyr…” Modera’s head tipped back as she gulped in air.

Jaina nudged my arm. She didn't need to. The two red dots on Modera’s neck said it all. I sprinted back to Khadgar. His skin was branded with the same two marks.

“Aethas too,” Jaina said quietly, smoothing her robes as she stood upright.

We backed away from the three limp mages, watching as their movements seemed to slow.

“If they…” I swallowed. “does that mean they’re stuck that way?”

“No. We have spells to remove it, and it's usually temporary. I can ask Anduin or Malfurion to tend to them.” Jaina glanced up at her own staff, then quickly retrieved the long weapons from where the mages lay.

I nodded, moving my hair away from the front of my face. As I did so, Khadgar leaned up slightly, sniffing the air.

“What about Kalec?” I said.

Jaina returned to my side with their staffs and her eyes flickered over the sleeping bodies. “We’ll get him together. I’ll meet you at Violet Hold. Let’s clean up the Kirin Tor’s mess before the summit has the chance to notice.”

We stepped back into the shimmering portal and our feet echoed as we appeared at the staircase of the Violet Citadel. Jaina raced towards the Anduin; I took the steps two at a time with my thoughts on Kalec.

I squinted as a familiar face lingered at the bottom of the steps. Grand Magister Rommath looked to my coming, his eyes analyzing me like a spellbook.

“Eona, I must speak with you.” He said as I was halfway down the mountain of steps. My calves were burning and I didn't care. Kalec’s face kept flashing before my eyes.

“I'm sorry, now is not a good time.” I remarked.

“It’s important-–”

“Then we’ll discuss it later.” I finally reached the bottom of the stairs and sped past him.

“You are going to slip if you move too swiftly, Lady Sunstrider.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I love cliffhangers :3

Chromie: Me too! Although, I usually see them coming with my powers, but they're still entertaining--but that's not why I'm here. Author, you're messing with the timestreams!

Author: Don't worry, I have a permit.

Chromie: I'm sorry, Author. That bowl of edible cookie dough that you offered the Bronze Dragonflight was delicious, but it does not allow you to go willy-nilly with the past. The Dark Portal was closed for twenty years, making Eona's existence impossible!

*Awesome freaky lightshow happens. Nozdormu, Lord of Time, appears*

Nozdormu: Author, well met. I must say, your work with this new future for Azeroth is...entertaining, but Chronomu is correct.

Author: Jeez, Marvel didn't have these kinds of laws set up--then again, Deadpool was my co-writer. Protectors of Time, please hear me out! I have a loophole!

Nozdormu: Very well, Author. Do as you must. We will be watching...and if you can spare me a cameo, it would touch this old dragon's heart. You even let Kalecgos have a minor role in this story, and he's practically invisible!

Kalec: ...Thanks.

Author: Will do, Lord Nozdormu! Thanks for stopping by, Chromie! As for you Awesome Adventurers, you can actually witness the first time Eona's parents met now, in the recently updated "Protectors of the Present"! Hope you enjoyed c: love, fortune and glory to you!!

[sheyshen]

Character meme: Valkorion

You’re cruel you know that? ;)

How I feel, is pretty well known. I don’t like him, As a villain I think he’s a fantastic one, and I really enjoyed the story involving him. I thought he was really interesting and it was great seeing the comparisons between the Knight, Consular, Warrior, and Inquisitor stories to Valkorion being the emperor. But as a person? yeah, no.

The only one I can even picture him with is Senya, and not even so much now after really seeing how much of an emotional strain she went through after the kids. I think when they were younger they were probably a really interesting pair. But the current Valkie that we interact with (even though he does have moments where he obviously still cares for Senya) I can’t ever want to give anyone that burden. Especially Senya.

Non-romantic, I think he’d honestly’ve gotten along really well with Kara’s mom. Anya takes a few pages from his book with her mission for power and I can believe that they’d’ve gotten along. And I don’t mean that in a good way.

I’m not sure if I have any unpopular opinion on him. He had a killer beard and his voice was fantastic, but I think that’s a universal opinion for him. I do think deep down he wasn’t as unfeeling as he claimed, I think he forced himself to be that way, or had split himself of it at some point but deep down he was still human even if he didn’t want to be. Not sure if that’s an unpopular opinion though. haha

Something I wish would’ve happened is to get a bit of an actual resolution to his plot line. Like yeah we killed him in our head but then it’s all “yup he’s gone let’s move on” and for such a major villain in the game it felt almost lackluster. I’m not saying we should bring him back, I’m ready for some new blood in the terms of big bads for swtor, but it didn’t feel like an actual end based on what we know of his abilities but rather an open ended ending for that story so they could easily bring him back if they wanted. in a “oh you didn’t kill me, no no, I had backup plans in case you managed to kick me out.” y’know. So I guess it’s more a I hope he stays dead, if only for the sake of the ones who are still around that suffered him the most (i.e. jedi knight, the outlander in general, arcann, senya, the entire empire, scourge, etc..)

[teenybeanielinguine]

Outlander Season 5 - A Girl Can Dream

 It’s been a little over two weeks since the Season 4 finale... and DAMN, the withdrawal is hitting me hard.  I’ve rewatched all my favorite scenes, re-read all my favorite passages, and scoured Tumblr for every piece of fanfiction available.  But nothing seems capable of filling the Outlander-shaped void in my heart.

Since I clearly have nothing better to do (not true; there are A LOT of other things I should be doing), I’ve decided to grace you all with my unsolicited thoughts (no need to thank me).  Season 5 has no announced release date, but I’m not known for my patience, so I’m hopping on the crazy train a little early.  Destination: The Fiery Cross. (Spoilers ahead.)

About The Fiery Cross

I’ve read quite a few posts that label Drums of Autumn as the pivotal point in the series.  I respectfully disagree.

DoA felt like the next step in a gradual evolution.  It’s true that Bree and Roger gained their independence from the J/C plotline in DoA, but DG had been prepping us for this divergence for quite a while.  Claire was our only narrator in Outlander, and while she remains the only 1st person POV, other characters have been quietly adding their voices to hers.  Roger joined her in Dragonfly in Amber, followed by Jamie and John Grey in Voyager, and we finally get Brianna in Drums of Autumn (that’s RIGHT: in the main books, we hear Roger’s POV before we ever hear Jamie’s).  Because of these constantly expanding POVs, DoA just felt like a natural progression, rather than a huge departure from the status quo.

The Fiery Cross, on the other hand, feels like a turning point.  Not only is it the first book to not get a newly added POV, but the story starts to get a little... unpredictable.

All of the books have a fair amount of twistiness and unpredictability, but our characters have pretty clear goals in each installation so far: get back to the stones, save Jamie from Black Jack, prevent the Rising, prevent Culloden, make Brianna believe the truth, find Jamie after 20 years, rescue Young Ian, establish the Ridge, warn Jamie and Claire about the fire, rescue Roger...  I know I’m generalizing here, but you get the point.  Our heroes all have clearly defined end goals, and they’re putting all their energy into achieving them, despite the twists and turns that DG throws their way.  The characters may not always succeed, but you, the reader, always know where the story is headed.

By the start of The Fiery Cross, the goals are a little broader, more nebulous.  There may be unrest in North Carolina, the American Revolution may be looming in the distance, but basically the Fraser family just wants to live in peace on the Ridge.  That’s it.  No daring rescues, no dramatic reunions; they just want some peace and quiet.  Of course, they aren’t going to get it, because this is Outlander-verse, where Murphy’s Law is on steroids.

So the Frasers play it by ear, taking on every new challenge as it comes.  There is no clear path forward, they just have to react as best they can to the events around them.  In consequence, the reader gets a series of smaller meandering stories, with the distinct feeling that something bigger is happening in the background.  I personally love this, because I have no clue what’s going to happen next, so when something big happens, it takes me completely by surprise.  And you get to see the characters just exist in day-to-day life, which is the best.  Some of the characters still have personal goals (spoiler alert: Stephen Bonnet definitely did NOT die in that explosion), but the pursuit of those goals isn’t driving the story nearly as much as in past installments.

This is all to say that, while Season 5 is going to have to hit some major plot points, there is (in my opinion) a fair amount of breathing room for interpretation, and lots of fun to be had.  I’m fascinated to see the show tackle this new challenge.

My Wish List for Season 5

When I say “wish list”, I don’t mean to imply a series of demands.  I have no creative control over the adaptation, and I’m not listing these wishes in the vain hope that someone on the production team will notice.  This is just for fun, and I will be perfectly content if none of these make it into the show.  Also, not all of these are pulled from the book; some of them are just things I would love to see.

So here are my top ten wishes, in no particular order:

Roger the Fangirl.  In the midst of all the Roger-hate this past season, the OL fandom has forgotten one crucial fact: Roger is the ultimate J/C shipper.  This romantic idiot is the whole reason that Claire went back in time to find Jamie!  You’d think Jamie’s fists would have beaten the ship right out of Roger, but if last season proves anything, it’s that Roger doesn’t give up easily.  He’s gonna keep shipping like his life depends on it, and there are some really cute moments in TFC where he fangirls over how adorable Jamie and Claire are together (also, Jamie is going to become his new idol).  I suppose it would be unrealistic to hope that he and Murtagh form a fan club next season...?

Brothers and Sisters.  Am I the only one who wanted to scream when Brianna and Fergus were right next to each other in the Wilmington jail and they didn’t acknowledge each other?  By the end of S4, we don’t even know whether Fergus and Marsali know about Bree’s existence (I mean, Fergus helped capture Bonnet, but he and Marsali didn’t say a word about Bree), and that frustrates me to no end.  The books skipped over the getting-to-know-you stuff too, which is crazy considering that they are siblings (adopted or not)!  I would kill for a scene where Jamie and Claire are struggling to explain why they have a fully-grown daughter, as well as some bonding time between siblings.  Bree and Marsali are definitely going to get along, cause badass women stick together.

The Snake Bite.  The snake bite incident (aftermath included) is one of my favorite sequences in TFC.  It brings Roger and Jamie closer together, it shows the courage of the Fraser women in a crisis, and it rallies the entire Ridge community in their worry for Jamie.  I suppose it’s sadistic of me, but I loved watching everyone freak out when they thought Jamie was going to die or lose a leg.  And then the 20th century women come to the rescue!  An entire episode dedicated to that whole plotline would be amazing.

Grannie and Grand-da.  Claire and Jamie are not only adorable as grandparents, they’re relatable AF.  They might love their new grandson to pieces, but that’s not going to stop them from being honest about the realities of childcare.  Jamie in particular is hilarious; he builds an entire house at top speed to get away from the screeching baby (and his newly reunited parents), and then he compares Bree unflatteringly to the white sow (not to her face, of course; see Chapter 30 for a good laugh).  I’d love to see that side of Jamie and Claire next season.

Wolf’s Brother.  We might have said a tearful goodbye to Young Ian in the S4 finale, but we haven’t seen the last of him.  My guess is that he’s going to make a dramatic reappearance in the S5 finale, but I really hope we see him before then.  Showing Young Ian’s time among the Mohawk would give Outlander a chance to showcase the amazing First Nations actors that appeared in S4 (Braeden Clarke, anyone?) as well as explore how Ian slowly blends his Highland upbringing with Mohawk customs.

Claire the Science Nerd.  So far all of Claire’s medical expertise has been utilized in life-or-death situations, but establishing a medical practice on the Ridge gives her the opportunity to geek out over plants and experiment in reproducing 20th century medicine in the 18th century.  Over the course of TFC, she gives genetics lessons, performs two tonsillectomies, and produces penicillin (among other things).  This passion for her craft is one of the reasons I love Claire so much.  And her nerd moments aren’t always serious: one of my favorite scenes in the book features Claire and her microscope giving Jamie a hilarious lesson in reproductive biology.

Fraser’s Ridge.  We didn’t get to see much of the Ridge community in S4, although Jamie did allude to the farmers who contributed the grain to make whisky.  The community is comprised of a growing array of Scottish immigrants, and the drama they bring to Claire and Jamie’s lives wavers between amusing and disastrous.  I don’t think the show will have time to explore the entire cast of characters, but I’m hoping to see Thomas Christie and his children introduced, at least.  I’ve always found Tom Christie a strangely compelling character; his children, on the other hand, are nothing more than a necessary evil.  I also really hope we meet the twins, Josiah and Keziah Beardsley (Lizzie’s story is about to get really interesting).

The MacKenzie Bloodline.  Despite all the time-traveling she’s been doing, Claire has yet to meet any of her ancestors (that we know of...  DG might be holding out on us).  Roger, on the other hand, is not going to be so lucky (if you’ve read all eight books, you’ll know that Roger runs into his ancestors A LOT).  By the end of S4, I’m not sure Jamie is aware that his daughter is married to Geillis Duncan and Dougal MacKenzie’s descendant, but I wanna be there when he and Murtagh find out (a perfect opportunity for some good dialogue and tension).  And while Roger may be able to explain his ancestry to Jamie and Murtagh (both of whom are fully aware of the existence of time travel), he’s not going to be able to give the same explanation to Jocasta.  In the beginning of TFC, there’s a really great conversation between Jocasta and Roger where Jocasta is kinda fishing around for clues about Roger’s family.  Roger, of course, can’t tell her that he’s actually her great-great-grandnephew (give or take a few ‘great’s).  My hope is that the show includes some version of this conversation and continues to play around with Roger’s MacKenzie heritage (and all its implications).

Future Talk.  With three time-travelers in the family, there’s bound to be some discussion of the future.  Especially with the tension mounting in North Carolina and Murtagh aligning himself with the Regulators.  I am yearning for some deep discussion between Jamie, Murtagh, and the travelers about the events to come.  I have a hunch that either Claire or Bree has already informed Murtagh about the American Revolution, based on a comment he made to Jocasta about a “different ending”, but I want to see it actually played out on screen.  The interplay between the characters who know the future and those who don’t is fascinating to me, and I want more of it.

Jamie the Protector.  Jamie’s protective instincts have had some disastrous consequences this past season, but he is going to redeem himself next season.  Early on in TFC, Jamie claims Roger as the “son of his house”, and he proceeds to stand by that claim throughout the book, especially in the aftermath of Roger’s wrongful hanging at the hands of Governor Tryon.  This time, Jamie’s protective feelings aren’t going to result in a beating, though it’s a close call.  I love this shift, from Jamie beating Roger to Jamie protecting/avenging Roger; it’s a very satisfying development.

Bonus: Geese.  Brianna and Roger may have a child together, but they have never lived together as a married couple.  They also don’t have very much experience being in a serious relationship (S4 showed us that they really don’t know how to argue properly).  However, they have both grown up quite a bit since their hand fasting, and you get to see them learning how to coexist in Chapter 33 of TFC.  It’s a great scene, where Roger’s just come back with the militia, and he and Bree have a meaningless fight because she hasn’t had it easy since the militia left.  But they resolve their argument peacefully as Bree vents her frustrations to Roger and gives him a drawing of some geese as a Christmas present.  A really wonderful everyday moment.

There are, of course, more things I’d like to see, but these are my favorites.  I thought I’d list them out now, since this is going to be a LONG Droughtlander, and I am sure to get obsessed with something else eventually (the new A Discovery of Witches show looks promising).  Also, I’m going to temporarily forget about Season 5 if Bees comes out first.

What are your wishes for Season 5?  If you choose to respond, please be kind and respectful.

[thebrochtuarachs]

If they want me (a fan) to talk about it, I’ll talk about it.

Outlander S4 PR has been doing so well until this (IMHO).

My take on some Q&A from Cait’s Parade article. 

It’s 3AM where I am and there will be grammatical errors on this but I had to let it out. 

Really lengthy, snark, rant ahead. You’ve been warned. ✌🏻😊 Feel free to pass if not your cup of tea. I mean, I probably wrote a bunch of woozy anyway. But this is my space and yeah, haha! 

1. What’s with the title?

Yeah, Sam’s name just had to be inserted somewhere here to make it clickable, sure. I don’t know if the motivation for “total opposite” was to show “how different Sam and Cait are” or “how Sam and Cait will never be” - but all I know is...opposites attract. If it meant to hurt shippers, well, were just getting started here. 

But seriously - If I get a chance to chat with Caitriona Balfe about season 4 scoop, I’d prefer that instead of talking about fans and using the name of her supposed platonic co-star to speculate some clickbait on the article. If the latter was the goal, they probably succeeded a bit cause here am I writing this loooong post. 

2. A great mystery - Who is Maestro? 

First of all, Caitriona is NOT newly engaged - ITS ALMOST BEEN A YEAR. Second, I am yet again confused as to the nationality and job of the great maestro. I asked this once in my blog and an anon came through with a thorough explanation of Maestro’s “history” but I guess I’ll just go back to “NEVER being sure who he really is” again. 

3. Oh, I grew up watching car races and now I’m in a racing movie!

I get the PR - Cait grew up watching car racing and now she’s in a car racing movie, what a way to come round full circle. 

But I’ve read a couple of articles from Cait about her life in Ireland before and never have I seen before that she’s mentioned that watching car races was part of their family tradition holidays up until now. (or is there? I may be wrong. I’m not sure, could be. Some other people can share it, if there is) But nonetheless, true or not, it works well with the PR. 

Also, Cait, I know a guy (Sam) who goes and watches F1 races from the paddocks. Why don’t you guys drop by sometime and you know, watch together? *wink wink* It’ll be good for research and stuff. Not to mention going out with one of your best mate, am I right? ✌🏻

4. I spend the weekends by myself - as shown in the way this statement is filled with singular pronouns

She drags herself alone to go out for some food, She reads alone, she walks alone, she prepares her own food and putters around the house. (I am my own, independent person regardless of my “soon-to-be hitched” status)

Okay, the way I see this - she really doesn’t want to be defined who she’s in a relationship with or who she’s engaged with. Look how independent the statement above is. I get it - she wants to be known more as “an actress” and not as an “engaged and extremely in love with my fiancé actress”. 

Basically it kinda says “sometimes forget I’m engaged at all except when Sam and I are being too touchy-feely with each other.” 

But seriously, Cait, not screaming/vibing engaged here! Meaning saying his actual name and weaving your relationship in the public face, inviting him to pose with you in red carpets and events despite his “shy” stature, etc. Erm, maybe just don’t be engaged at all and don’t get married yet - I didn’t say break it up or anything, just straighten the confusing narrative first? 

5. I am not exactly like Claire but Sam, my co-star only, will be the first one to disagree.

Why do I feel like “and the other people who know me very well” line got added after a pause cause Sam got mentioned and she cannot mention only Sam because fans will suspect. Hahaha! (And suspect we well cause isn’t that the purpose of this article?)

Also, but why not “Tony, my fiance, will be first to disagree because he knows me so well” rather than her “were super platonic only” co-star? 

Oh, cause of the narrative. 

Which narrative again? I am getting confused now. 

Oh, the one where Sam Heughan is just her friend who loves her and knows her so well. 

Great. 

6. SINCE SAM GOT MENTIONED THE QUESTION BEFORE ITS ONLY NATURAL WE TALK ABOUT HIM...

OMG, my English grammar mind is like screaching those dangling modifiers. “Sam Heughan, who plays your soul mate...” HAHAHAHAHA! That’s the first thing that I noticed. Second, the question would be much clearer if phrased “Are you good friends with Sam Heughan, who plays Jamie Fraser, your character’s soul mate?” - SEE  sentence construction HERE, we would be talking about the show and its characters and not see anything else. But then, this is just me.

Also, why ask Cait if she’s good friends with Sam? Of course she is! (and I truly believe this regardless of whatever situation they chose). Other wise, if she says “no”, just imagine the PR nightmare it would entail. The repercussions, the bad PR from tabloids how the two leads “don’t get along”, the possibility of not getting renewed after season 6, a lot of bad will follow if she said the wrong answer. Hahahaha! Either this or the writer (don't know his history with OL) is super new to the fandom who don’t have an idea just how close Sam and Cait are.

Oh goody, we get the Hyde Park walk mentioned again! I always love this memory of theirs.

Comment on Paragraph 1: Why do I feel like Cait got caught off guard rehashing this story. The answer, if verbatim, is so jumpy and incoherent. Like I could summarise the story in shorter sentences. Eitherway, I’ve always loved that they spent the time together at the beginning and realised just how much of a relationship they were going to have. Also, the line” Who knows what this is going to be?” which they asked even before they started filming - so loaded the possibilities of the meaning of this simple question. 

Comment on Paragraph 2: Shouldn’t it be maestro’s job to be her biggest supporter, the first person she calls to have talking to about stress? Also, love the “vice versa”. Sometimes, I can’t imagine Sam being the stressed one between the two of them but I just love their dynamic. OH AND THEY HAVE SIMILAR PERSONALITY TRAITS (where is the complete opposite part?! (*see next question*, here we go)

7. HOW TO DESCRIBE BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP 101

Here it is....how opposite Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe are that it’s impossible to think of them ever being in a relationship. 

Cait is bullish and Sam calms her down before she gets too frustrated. 

Sam is a little passive and Cait gives him a nudge and a strength to stand up for something. 

OH WAIT

Erm, what you guys just described about each other is “being in a good, healthy relationship” - thanks, bye. Again...opposites attract. The statements just show that they’re both not as strong as one seem and really feed off strength from each other’s lives and company. Like, you know, being together or something to that effect. 

Also, if you guys, Sam and Cait, are dropping the fake narrative soon, you know - Cait can nudge Sam to stand up for them and publicise their “real”  relationship and then when the reality of their “real score” being revealed gets too frustrated, Sam just can calm Cait down. It’s honestly, a win-win, guys. 

8. ONTO THE “BEST FANS EVER”

This question was actually fine until the follow up...

9. WAS ASKING THIS QUESTION FREAKING NECESSARY?

I think I’ve mentioned this before but IF PR WANTS TO STAY AWAY FROM FANS TALKING ABOUT SAMCAIT, then they have to stop allowing these kind of questions. They could’ve asked the author to not include this question in the publishing because what is the freaking point. If the writer have done his research, he already knows the answer to this (heck we know from various and numeous sources). And if he knew the climate of the fandom, this should not have been asked published - yet again.  I’m sure Sam and Cait hate answering these questions because, lets admit it, it takes away some of the magic. But here it is and there again is their punchline and I’ve seen this same answer as before. 

But Cait had to add something new: “But I think things are pretty clear now that I'm engaged to someone else. Everyone gets it now” HMMMMMMMMM...So was the purpose of the engagement to put off the stench and speculation that Sam and you aren’t together? That the main purpose was for all shippers to stop shipping you and Sam cause you’re engaged some someone else whose name you’ve yet to mention yourself in public or social media and your fans have no total idea who he is and what he does for a living? 

Oh and uhh, Cait - NOT EVERYONE GETS IT NOW. If anything, were all the more confused. Also, regardless of what you guys do, you can never ever avoid the shipping (real or show) cause that’s just fanning is. Oh, and you’re not the first and only ship with OTP that have spouses. Seriously, you’re not the first nor the only experiencing this and the other fandoms have actually embraced this instead of trying so hard to shut it down. 

9. REHASHING SEMI-FAMOUS FANDOM HISTORY

Seriously. 

If the author had done his/her research, these are semi-famous stories already from before and he could’ve asked about book 4 or season 4 or anything RECENT that would make sense why this article was even written in the first place. 

I just think it’s a missed opportunity to ask something else, something new. Meh. 

10. Cait’s Faves

Maybe it should be Cait’s current fave things.

TSWDM as her favorite movie? I mean no offence to TSWDM but considering how deep her book choices are, I thought she’d choose a “deep, serious” movie as her favorite but choosing her “platonic” co-stars recent comedy flick as her choice (maybe in support of them having each other’s backs, you know) she chose that one - or maybe she really, really loved the movie too. 

Race Car Documentaries - lets push the PR for her upcoming movie, yes!! 

The Fiery Cross - EARLY PROMO FOR NEXT SEASON!!

Yeah, so I wouldn’t assume this is Cait’s “all-time” faves... 

-

SO, WHY DID I DO THIS?!

BECAUSE I THOUGHT I’D FIND A POINT ABOUT THIS ARTCLE AND NOT SOME OBVIOUS HIDDEN AGENDA BEHIND IT?

WHAT EXACTLY WAS THE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE? WHY DID IT NOT TALK ABOUT OUTLANDER OR SEASON 4 AT ALL INSTEAD OF FANS AND NARRATIVES?

WHAT IS THIS PUBLICITY ALL ABOUT?

TO REITERATE THE “THEY’RE NOT TOGETHER” NARRATIVE CAUSE THE “SHE’S ENGAGED TO ANOTHER GUY” WASN’T ENOUGH OR DIDN’T WORK? TO PROVE JUST HOW WEIRD SOME CORNER OF THE FANDOM IS (as per the writing of this lengthy, rant post)

SERIOUSLY. I AM FLARING.

BECAUSE ALL THESE IS IRRELEVANT TO THE PROMOTION OF OUTLANDER SEASON 4 AND IT IRKS ME THAT THEY HAD OR TRYING TO PUT SHIPPER FANS IN, YET AGAIN, A BAD LIGHT, WHEN WE’RE TRYING TO STAY IN OUR LANE FOR MOST OF THE YEAR AND MAKING SENSE OF WHAT’S GOING ON. 

IS THIS WHAT THEY WANTED? FANS TALKING AROUND HOW IRRELEVANT THESE THINGS ARE? OR SPECULATE HOW WEIRD OR AMBIGUOUS EACH ANSWER IS?! 

Oh, Lordy. 

COME ON, PR.

SELL YOUR SHOW. 

NOT THE “NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP”. 

NOT THE “BEST FANS EVER”.

NOT THE “DELUSIONAL” FANS WHO NOW FINALLY “GETS IT”. (cause, as per this article, we still don’t)

SELL YOUR SHOW AND WHAT IT’S ABOUT - JAMIE AND CLAIRE FRASER.

BECAUSE ALL I WANT IS OUTLANDER SEASON 4 COVERAGE. 

TALK ABOUT CLAIRE AND JAMIE. TALK ABOUT BREE. TALK ABOUT THE BOOK. TALK ABOUT THE RIDGE. TALK ABOUT THEIR CHARACTER’S AND BOOK’S LIFE. 

SUCH A WASTE OF SPACE AND TIME AND ALL FOR WHAT?

TO IRK SHIPPY FANS TO MORE EYE-ROLLING MOMENTS?

TO GET RID OF THE 20 SHIPPERS REMAINING?

CAUSE GUESS WHAT OUTLANDER/STARZ PR?

THE (RESPECTFUL) SHIPPING WILL NEVER STOP EVEN IF CAIT AND SAM ARE MARRIED - EITHER TO EACH OTHER OR OTHER PEOPLE.

THAT’S JUST HOW IT IS AND HOW ITS GOING TO BE CAUSE THAT IS FANDOM AND THAT IS SHIPPING.

SO, JUST FOCUS ON SELLING THE SHOW AND WHAT ITS REALLY ALL ABOUT.

JAMIE AND CLAIRE FRASER.

NOTHING MORE. NOTHING LESS. 

Thanks. 

*end of caps lock writing*

It’s 4AM and I’m going to sleep. 

-

Updating this the following day after reading some comments and theories as to why this ever seen the light of day: 

1. Could this be a follow up “aggressive shipper” article by EW?! A ploy put into place by Sony/Starz to, yet again, attack the “shipping” community? 

IT COULD VERY WELL BE. WHY ELSE PUT UP THIS NONSENSE OF AN ARTICLE THAT DOESN’T PROMOTE THE SHOW ONE BIT. 

Like to control shippers yet again after the love fest the past two weeks at cons? To control shippers after releasing S4 promo photos of Jamie and Claire?

I mean if they put this same effort in shutting “shippers” down to promoting their show, they might increase their ratings and subscribers!! UGH. 

2. Could Caitriona be that Caitriona did NOT actually say some of the things said? 

Possibly. I mean, now that I think about it, some statements were contradictory to what she’s said before and the language seems a little too forward that she usually is (e.g. “But I think it’s pretty clear now. I’m engaged now so everyone gets it”). Yeah, maybe it doesn’t feel like Cait saying this - cause I think she knows it’s NEVER clear but - yeah, could be. Could be that the this article was written deliberately to counter the “aggressive shipping” happening since the cons and using Cait’s “engagement” was their weapon of choice this time.