#you know the one where he’s shredding a sandwich that’s covered in pickles for some reason

[scholliski]

AFTG (andrews version) (half of the book is Andrew, high on drugs, describing the texture of a veggie burger he’s eating for lunch that he’s lathered in hot sauce and pickles for no apparent reason)

[thebrightsessions]

Entertainment Spotlight: Ian McQuown

Ian is an LA based actor and producer known for the YouTube comedy group, Extremely Decent, as well as a voice actor in the popular audio dramas: The Bright Sessions, The AM Archives, StarTripper!! & Deck The Halls! His credits inclue American Housewife, Trial & Error, Better Things, and For All Mankind. Ian took the time to answer some questions for us. Check it out:

You’ve worked on multiple podcasts -- what drew you to the medium?

Well, to be honest, Lauren drew me to it because TBS was my first narrative podcast. We met at a Rocky Horror Picture Show show. Anna Lore is our mutual friend and I think Anna is just talented as all get out, so anything she’s involved I want to be in. And, I don’t know, it was just one of those lucky breaks you get where a door opens and takes you to all these cool places you never anticipated.

On podcasting though, I really appreciate how much more possible it is to tell engaging stories without the boundaries of having to afford a set and a camera and insurance and etc etc etc. Like, I grew up with Star Wars, The Matrix, Cowboy Bebop— so when I imagine the stories I like, I’m usually picturing other worlds, space ships, people with super powers and those types of stories used to have a lot higher barrier to entry to make than they do now, which is just awesome.

If you could give a character from The Bright Sessions a spinoff series, who would you choose and what would the series be called?

I mean, no surprises here, but I’d love to see Damien’s early years. And I’d be super clever and call it something like... Damien: The Early Years. I'm dying for that content a little bit actually: Damien, before he became such a bad guy. Maybe a love story that doesn’t work out and leaves him really scarred? Villains so bad they created a villain instead of a victim—  that moment where we see the two roads Damien has to choose between and it totally shreds us when he makes the choice we all know he’s going to make, I mean, come ON you can see that, right? It’d be like the Star Wars prequels but without all the youngling killing and “NOOOOOOOO”’s and I want it.

Can you share a fun story or anecdote from the making of The Bright Sessions?

Haha, ok well it’s not really anything of note BUT: I remember Lauren had this area rug in her room, which as you probably know is where we would record, and it was this really nice, I think, red sort of floral rug that took up pretty much all the floor space because it was covering up the older apartment rug-floor underneath it. And it was, as I said, really cool, except it wasn’t a rug on a wood floor, right? It was a rug on a rug so it was a bit taller than the people who designed the room had planned for— the result of which was that you’d walk in and the room had this really awesome little vibe with this cute rug, and it was all very cozy, unless you looked directly behind you at the corner where the door had just spent ages scraping the surface of it, catching the corner, tearing little pieces out. And I may be getting apocryphal at this point, but I feel like by the time I had started coming around Lauren had straight up duct taped it to the floor, which really didn’t help the problem. And, I don’t know—again it’s not really anything momentous—but I just remember giving Lauren a particular amount of shit about it one day and us all having a really good laugh. And I really love that— there are jobs where you show up, keep your head down, do your work and leave, but then there are jobs like The Bright Sessions where you all get to become friends, and even if you don’t see each other for a while you sort of just get to pick up where you left off. And then those jobs turn into other jobs and you get to keep hanging out with your friends and peers and just making stuff you like— I’m a big fan of that.

If your life was a choose your own adventure, what decisions would viewers have to make on an average day?

OKAY, you wake up...

Water your garden before it gets to be 110 today, you cannot skip this step. You may however:

A) Stay out in the garden for longer if you get inspired and check if the tomatoes and peppers are ripe for picking.

Great! Now let’s make breakfast:

A) Make eggs, toast, fried tomatoes, and hash browns? 

B) Make (A) But also with Bacon? 

C) Make a smoothie?

D) There’s no time today, run to Whole Foods and get their incredibly priced $6 Egg, Bacon Cheese Breakfast burrito.

Awesome! You’ve eaten and now you can think. What work do you have to do?

A) Prep your audition, dummy! It’s due this afternoon, go fix your hair. 

B) You have a zoom meeting with actor friends at 11 to play around with some new material, put on a hat.

C) There is nothing you have to work on so stare at your computer and wonder if there’s new project you could be working on. Try to find that project, leave your hair as it.

Wow! You really had a great (insert previous choice here), let’s get you a coffee and take a TV break. What should we watch?!

A) That new show you haven’t seen yet because you need to watch everything so you know how to work on it should you get an audition for it.

B) Harley Quinn (your favorite new cartoon).

C) Teenage Bounty Hunters.

D) Farscape.

E) Nope, you just got an audition for tomorrow, everything is off the table, start working on it (Level Complete).

Lunch Time!!!

A) Turkey sandwich with pickles from the garden?

B) Trader Joe’s Margherita Pizza with basil and peppers from the garden?

C) Are we going to start another loaf of sourdough you basic mf?

D) Yes we probably are, but also (A) and (B).

Cool! I’ve eaten lunch. Now what?

A) You haven’t finished that work from this morning. Riiiight.

B)…More Harley Quinn…?

C) Let’s make pasta from scratch!

D) Let’s make ribs! From…ribs!

F) You just got an audition for tomorrow, everything is off the table, start working on it. (Level Complete).

Bangarang! You probably chose to start cooking dinner immediately after eating lunch. You ate it (and it rocked), what now?

A) You just got an audition for tomorrow, everything is off the table, start working on it. (Level Complete)

B) DnD with squad.

C) Go on a run, dude— you’re getting a Jaba chin….

D) Bring on the chin! Let’s watch TV until 2am! Here are your options:

A) Harley Quinn (your new favorite cartoon)

B) Teenage Bounty Hunters

C) Farscape

D) Put The Office on in the background and clean your house.

Level Complete.

As you can see I’m a very food-focused person. Also, I’m going to be real, that is truly what most of my days look like and I’m low-key a little mortified that ’taking a shower’ wasn’t a game option... 

Can you share your favorite piece of Bright Sessions / AM Archives fan art?

I love all the fan art that people make for my characters but this one from Franartz has always been really special to me. It’s so GQ, I just love it — and some of my favorite early AG moments are with Damien, who looks a little like he stepped out of a Gorrilaz album here— big fan. I’m a little obsessed with fan art actually, I save everything I come across— there’s a freckled red-headed series of Owen by TheFigureInTheCorner that makes me really happy. Seeing that my work has inspired someone else to make something of their own is really what’s up, you know? It makes me think about all the art and entertainment that has touched me over the years and I get a lot of joy from being a part of that cycle.

Thanks for taking the time, Ian! Give I Can Die When I'm Done a relisten right here.

[waywardnerd67]

Sweet Slice

Title: Sweet Slice Summary: (Y/N) is new to Lebanon escaping the big city life when she gets a job at a local bakery. Things get complicated when her past returns and her boss gets in the middle. Pairing: Dean x Reader Rating: E - Everyone Warnings: Angst/Fluff Word Count: 2173 Squared Filled: Baker!Dean Bingo Card: @spnaubingo​ A/N: The sandwiches described are from the grocery store my mom works at. They can be found at http://www.straubs.com/category/sandwiches

Check Out: SPN AU Bingo Masterlist

Staring out over the horizon, (Y/N) watched as the sun peeked over rising into the dark sky. Black and navy faded into beautiful pinks and reds as a sign of a new day. Breathing in the cool morning air, she threw up a few silent thank yous to whatever higher being was listening to her. Grateful for a new day, a new start and a new life for her. Carefully standing on the rooftop, she climbed back in through her single window and started mapping out her day.

(Y/N) had only lived in Lebanon, Kansas for three weeks. Finding a studio apartment above the only bakery in town that was owned by the handsome Dean Winchester. She gave him almost all her savings for the first month's rent and went in search of work. In a town of only two hundred-fifty people finding a job was harder than she expected. Until last week, when she approached Dean about the next month’s rent and offered her a job on the spot.

Now, as she pulled the hair out of her face and wrapped a red bandana over it (Y/N) headed downstairs for her first day at Sweet Slice. Approaching the kitchen entrance she could hear Led Zeppelin playing through the store speakers and pans clanging against one another.

“Morning boss.”

He looked over his shoulder a wide smile spreading across his face, “Good morning, let me get this pie in the oven and then I will give you your mission for the day.”

(Y/N) chuckled watching as he finished the pie he was working on. No one would ever believe from looking at Dean that he was a baker. His broad shoulders, muscular arms gave off the impression he was a tough guy. There were a few scars on his forearms she could see from the sleeves of his flannel being rolled up to his elbows. His large hands and thick fingers were the most deceiving as they gently and delicately handled creating the lattice pie crust on top.

“Ready?”

His husky voice brought her out of her daydream as she nodded following him to the other side of the kitchen. On the long table were various deli meats and cheeses along with a variety of breads then seemed to be freshly baked.

“I’ve always had this idea of not only offering specialty pies and baked goods but also to have a lunch hour with sandwiches on some of our breads. Today, I was you to just come up with some sandwiches for the menu and I’m going to taste test them for lunch.”

She smirked, “So basically you want me to make you a sammich?”

His laughter was infectious filling her body with a joy she hadn’t felt in a long time, “Yeah, I guess so. One of the perks for being the boss. If you need anything just holler at me.”

(Y/N) grabbed the pencil and paper on the table and started writing down some ideas she had. Sandwiches were something she knew all about being from New York. As a teenager she had worked at her local deli making sandwiches and giving the old mob men trouble as they flirted with her. The memory sent a chill down her spine. It was in that deli shop she had met Wyatt and her life changed forever.

Shaking her head, she went back to her list of sandwiches and began constructing them. A few of them, she had to have Dean bake up a few hoagie rolls because regular bread would not be right for them. By noon, she had assembled six different sandwiches for them to enjoy. She waited to garnish them until right before they sat down to eat. Dean had taken his flannel off wiping the sweat from his face from being near the oven.

His eyes widened as they glanced over the sandwiches plated in front of him, “These look awesome and I’m starving. Let’s dive in.”

The first sandwich was an Italian Sub that was on a fresh hoagie roll, spread with a mayo mustard blend and topped with salami, top round roast beef, baked and glazed ham, provel, dill pickle, onion, pepperoncinis and shredded lettuce. The noises coming from Dean as he devoured his half made her cheeks burn.

The next couple of sandwiches were simple ones with meat, cheese and simple lettuce, tomato, pickle toppings that could be offered cold or warm. The fifth sandwich was one her grandmother made for her every Sunday. Layers of baked and glazed ham, hard salami, mortadella, and provel topped with an olive Italian dressing blend on fresh baked focaccia bread.

“Now that sandwich sent my taste buds on an adventure. Whew!” He chuckled, finishing the last bite.

The final sandwich was her take on a grilled cheese sandwich. She had called it The Cure All making it whenever she had a particularly bad time of the month or a wicked hangover. On sourdough she placed two slices of cheddar, a layer of jalapenos, two slices of american, a layer of bacon, topped with caramelized onions.

Dean admired the sandwich for a moment before taking a large bite from it. His olive eyes rolled back as he closed them chewing slowly. She watched as he swallowed the bite and his full lips pursed together blowing out a gush of air.

“Wow, I think that may be the perfect sandwich and our signature sandwich to kick off a lunch special.”

Her cheeks were aching from smiling, “I guess I can add sandwich creator to my severely lacking resume.”

“If I have my way, you will never need a resume again and stay with me forever.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth a few things happened all at once. Their eyes snapped up connecting immediately. Her heart leaped within her chest with a bright, burning hope she has not felt in a long time. While Dean’s cheeks flushed crimson.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean… not that I wouldn’t want to be with… um. Crap.” He put his head in his hands, “All I’m saying is you’re amazing and wonderful for what I have gotten to know of you these last few weeks. I think we would work great with one another.”

There was something deep within urging for her to reach out to him and after five years of being with someone who only pretended to care for her and use her she had kept herself guarded. Looking into Dean’s eyes, she could see the kind of man he was. The kind of man to sacrifice himself for the ones he loves. The kind of man to go out of his way to care for someone. The kind of man that would protect those closest to him fiercely and without regard to his own well being.

(Y/N) reached across the table placing her hand on top of his, “There is nowhere else I’d rather be than right here with you.”

It was in that moment that everything changed for them. They became partners in every way they could in their lives. Sharing the business together, his home together, building a life together over the next year. Until her past caught up to her in the little bakery in Lebanon.

It was a normal Tuesday as Dean and (Y/N) prepared for their normal lunch hour. Their business doubled from them adding a sandwich and slice combo. Some of their normal morning customers had picked up a pie or two for that evening so when the bell rang signaling another customer, (Y/N) thought nothing of it walking to the front counter.

“There you are my sweetness. I’ve been looking for you for a long time.”

She froze in her spot, the familiar raspy voice knocking the wind out of her. Looking up, standing in the middle of the empty bakery and locking the front door was the man of her nightmares. Standing nearly a foot taller than her, his jet black hair was slicked back and dark brown eyes narrowing in on her.

“H-How did you…” The words would not come out as fear struck her mind instinctively backing up towards the door leading into the kitchen.

His menacing smile spread wider, “You know I have my ways. You know when I want something I get it. No matter what.” He took two steps towards her as he spoke.

The same desperate fight or flight feeling kicked in pushing her feet towards the kitchen yelling, “DEAN!”

Before she made it two feet through the door a pair of thick, leather covered arms wrapped around her waist. She let out a piercing scream before Wyatt clamp his hand over her mouth. He walked them back through the door holding her tightly against his body where she could not kick or push herself away.

“You’ve always been weak and pathetic, but that’s how I like my women. You can’t fight me.” He snarled into her ear.

“But I can.”

She looked up wide eyed as Dean appeared in front of them stepping through the door. He was holding up a large iron skillet never once taking his eyes off of Wyatt.

“Put (Y/N) down now.” His jaw clenched as he spun the skillet in his hand.

Wyatt laughed pushing her into the front case. She cried out as shards of thick glass sliced and embedded themselves into her skin. She glanced up just in time to roll herself over the glass that had shattered as Wyatt’s large body flew back towards her. Crimson filled her vision as she looked down to the floor. Bile burned up her throat as the sickening cracking of breaking bones echoed throughout the room. Her vision darkened as the last thing she saw was the door crashing open.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Every inch of (Y/N)’s body throbbed. She could hardly lift her eyelids, her vision blurry from exhaustion and her glasses missing. Trying to speak, she coughed and a large hand engulfed hers. Instinctively, she flinched pulling it away. Squeezing her eyes shut terrified she would see Wyatt sitting beside her.

“(Y/N), you’re okay. You’re safe.”

Her eyes snapped open tears freely flowing down her face, “D-Dean…” she croaked.

“Shhh. Don’t try to speak until you’ve had some ice chips.” He stood grabbing a cup and feeding her some ice, “After Sam and I took care of Wyatt, we had to rush you to the hospital. You lost a lot of blood and one large piece of glass embedded itself into your back.”

Dean became quiet looking down at their hands clasped together, “W-What hap-pen?” she whispered, eating some more ice and the cold soothing her burning throat.

She was surprised to see his eyes shining with tears, “We almost lost you and…” he looked away from her wiping his eyes.

“And what, Dean?” Her stomach churned and knotted a thousand thoughts running through her mind.

“And it wrecked me. I didn’t want to imagine life without you and when I did it gutted me.”

(Y/N) reached up wiping the few wayward tears from his cheek, “I’m right here because of you. Thank you.”

Her hand slipped down to his chest gripping his shirt and pulling him towards her. Every move she made was agonizing but worth it as his lips pressed against hers.

“I will always be here for you.” He whispered as she nodded her forehead resting against his.

Lying back she asked, “What happened to Wyatt?”

A low growl escaped Dean’s lips, “He and his buddy are currently in a cell hopefully getting to know their new roommates intimately.”

She wanted to know everything, but exhaustion was consuming her. Her eyes closing as Dean sat beside her on the bed humming her favorite Zeppelin song and lulling her to sleep.

Over the next several months, between her physical recovery and mental anguish as she relive her life with Wyatt to detectives and lawyers. (Y/N) slowly started getting her life back to normal. Dean accompanied her to New York where Wyatt and his goons were all put on trial for what they had done to her. After the guilty verdict was read, (Y/N) felt a great weight lift from her shoulders finally feeling free to live her life in peace.

When they arrived back in Lebanon, they noticed the vacant building across from the bakery had been sold and a new sign was being lifted into the air to attach to the store front. As the tarp fell to the ground, they both stared up completely stunned at what they saw.

The sign had a cake with a halo above it that read Angel Cakes Bakery. A tall, dark hair man stood admiring the sign before glancing over to them. He gave a small wave walking back into the building while (Y/N) looked over to Dean.

His jaw set in a strong line before muttering, “Son of a bitch…”

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

For updates please follow #waywardnerd67fics

[randomnameless]

Interesting FE16 world-building (?) tidbits, found through food and menus

or i was hungry : the post

Nabateans have no taste, Zanado fruit is described as “inedible” but apparently golden Zanado fruit is rad, so idk. Is it a Zanado fruit specially harvested for human tastes?

Saghert & Cream :  “ A baked confection with Noa fruit cream and a currant reduction, often enjoyed as a dessert at family gatherings.”

Noa fruit --> smthg smthg Noa, and Noa’s crest is apparently making Constance able to grow flowers (or to make plants bloom)? Are Noa fruits specific to Western Adrestia, or are they found everywhere? But since it’s a common dessert enjoyed at “family gatherings” I suppose Noa fruits are kind of common and/or not that expensive. Noa crested people make a lot of fruits and control the production of Noa fruits in the continent? But even if they have a monopoly on Noa fruits they think it’s more profitable to sell them at a rather low price than to treat it as a delicacy?

Sweet Bun Trio : “ Traditional pastries from Faerghus, known for their subtle sweetness. The dough is made with eggs and sugar.”

Important to note : this is made with Noa fruits (lel) and Albinean berries. So, traditionaly, Faerghus traded with Albinea to get fruits to fill their donuts/buns? Otoh, if the taste is rumoured to be subtle, Sylvain apparently doesn’t find it so awesome because he has that infamous “food from my own country sucks”. And yet he still like Faerghus’s sweet buns, so...

Pheasant Roast with Berry Sauce : “ Well-roasted Fodlan pheasant drizzled with a berry reduction sauce”.

Again, made with Albinean berries. Are they sweet or sour? Pheasants are eaten by a majority of nobles, but some commoners like it too, Raph (duh), Mercedes, Cyril and Flayn.

Peach Sorbet : “ A sorbet made with thin slices of magically frozen peach, dusted with bean flour”.

Made with, uh, peaches, and chickpeas (?).

Here comes Fodlan’s magic, in that world, people waste i mean use magic to bake/make funny food. If peaches are “magically frozen” then they musn’t be “naturally frozen” (well...) so this dish wasn’t originally from Faerghus. Maybe it’s an Adrestian delicacy and imperial mages are used, during peaceful times, as hired freezers?

Beast Meat Teppanyaki : “ A dish that tastes like wilderness. Thick slices of meat covered with Noa fruit and grilled on a hotplate”

Here another menu graced by House Nuvelle’s graces

Otoh, “beast meat” like... are they using meat from the various monsters? Or, worse, demonic beasts? But then, given what they used to be... not so odd to note, no nabatean likes this meal

Pickled Rabbit Skewers : “ Hunks of rabbit meat are pickled in bacchus, skewered, and roasted over an open flame to create this flavorful dish”

Finally someone cooking something with wine i mean - The only other mention of bacchus we had in the game was in the description of the Feast in Rhea’s trashy novel, apparently “fine bacchus” comes from Boramas, a territory of the Empire not that far from Enbarr. Given how Faerghus’ climate seems a bit too cold for wine, it must grow in the alliance/empire. So this dish is a southern (well) one?

Daphnel Stew :  “Minced poultry and onions boiled with salt. The simple recipe lets high-quality ingredients speak for themselves.”

We have high-quality ingredients in Daphnel, like Raddest Chicken (tm) and Best Salt (tm)? Or onions, you can’t cook without onions.

Or was Daphnel a great cook back in the day? Idk. Still, the alliance seems to be proud of their local products? First Count Gloucester with his sheep, and now Daphnel and their salt - i mean poultry! No one’s famous for their salt, save for, maybe, the guys from Bergliez with the Kingdom and the Alliance said “thks bye” to Adrestia

Gronder Meat Skewers : “ Fatty hunks of Gronder fox cooked slowly on skewers. The meat is magically aged for a full flavor.”

??? Fodlan people eat foxes? Ingredient list requires “wild game” and onions, but still... We all know how Guinivere’s baby fox would have ended then, or an AU where Kaden pops up in Fodlan.

However, here’s the second instance where Magic is used to alter an ingredient’s flavour. How do they “magically” age meat? Can that spell be used on living things to make them decay? It is a Hel “lite”?

Apparently, Cichol was rumoured to have blessed the Gronder Fields with good harvests, but randoms were tired to eat bread every day so they wanted to eat foxes. Not so oddly enough (?) Nabateans aren’t fond of that dish.

Derdriu-Style Fried Pheasant :  “ Pheasant meat is pounded flat and fried. Can be served as a sort of sandwich, with cheese between two strips of meat.”

Fried chicken comes from the Alliance people, and from Derdriu that is to say, from the Riegans. They created fast food, or KFC’s Double Down.

Edel made a wise choice in attacking them and removing the Riegans from the continent in CF

Interesting to note, Hanneman, Manuela and Seteth are fond of this. You cannot write a modern AU without them ordering something at KFC now, you cannot.

Vegetable Pasta Salad : “Pasta with a blend of fresh vegetables from various regions of Fódlan. This popular dish sells out almost instantly.”

Much more healthy! And also more popular? Everyone loves pasta! And does it mean everyone in Fodlan makes their own version of this dish with their local variants (cabbage in Faerghus?) or there are trading routes in the continent where Faerghus’ cabbage can be easily bought by Dude Von Random in the Empire if he wants to eat that salad?

Onion Gratin Soup :  “ Onions stewed with white trout and baked with a layer of cheese on top. Will warm you up from the inside out.”

The trout. Why the trout. Given how nearly everyone from Faerghus is fond of this dish (Linhardt and Marianne are the only non-kingdom students to like it) I’d say it comes from the North, and I remember Gautier being a famous place for “Gautier Cheese”. Also a dish that warms you from the inside would be conceived in a place where it’s cold? Or it’s some sort of comfort food.

Country-Style Red Turnip Plate :  “ A balanced meal including red turnip and verona stew, red turnip salad, and sautéed red turnip with garlic.”

Mostly appreciated by Imperial students, this meal looks healthy, again. Maybe they have a lot of turnips in the Empire, idk. Cichol mixed beetroots and turnips and thought they could give sugar to the empire with all those beetroots but welp they have a crapton of turnip fields now and you can’t make anything with turnips but those silly humans still found a way to accomodate them?

Vegetable Stir-Fry : “A dish of dried tomatoes, cabbage, chickpeas, and other vegetables, stir-fried with eggs. Nutritious and very filling. “

Not specifically tied to a country. tomatoes would suggest it doesn’t come from Faerghus though. But cabbage? Or it’s some sort of fusion food. Sounds tasty though (unlike the turnip salad)

Grilled Herring : “ Herring caught off the coast of Albinea, shredded and grilled in an earthenware pot with sliced turnips.”

what is wrong with the devs and their love for turnips

This dish uses herring from Albinea, so, unless Fodlanese fishers regularly hang out near a foreign nation’s shores to fish, they must trade. I don’t know if Albinean herring is expensive or if Garreg Mach uses a lot of its budget on Albinean herrings but I suppose there’s at least a main line of supply for this kind of fish.

First you trade fish, next we have exchange students from Albinea

Fish and Bean Soup :  “ A soup made by simmering white trout and chickpeas. A simple yet wholesome dish.”

Only Faerghus students love this meal (and Marianne). It seems plain but if Word of God says it’s wholesome, who am i to criticize?

Fruit and Herring Tart : “ A baked tart with stewed herring and Noa fruit mixed into the batter. Popular in Enbarr, the Imperial Capital.”

To contrast with the previous dish, this pie sounds complicated to make and is, of course, popular in Enbarr. You could make a caricature out of this. Oddly enough, no BE student is fond of this dish. Lorenz is though, previsibly.

Fisherman’s Bounty : “ Freshly-caught fish are cut into chunks and stewed together to make this hearty dish.”

Sponsorised by Indech since it requires a Teutates Loach. Flayn likes it. You only need fish and fish to make this dish which is, uh... well. Dedue’s the only guy to like this.

Fish Sandwich : “A simple dish. Airmid pike is pickled in vinegar and served with cabbage between two slices of bread.“

You average random sandwich, with pickled fish. Petra and Manu are the only non BL people to like this but now that i think about it, since it has cabbage, it must be a dish from Faerghus ? Or Faerghus exports cabbage to the rest of the world, and the rest of the world came up with this idea for a sandwich.

Two-Fish Saute : “Two types of fish are cut into strips and sauteed in butter. This lavish meal hails from Embarr, the Imperial Capital.”

It needs Caledonian Gar and Albinean Herring. Of course it’s lavish, it comes from Embarr. A lot of people are fond of this, Lorenz included, of course. Oddly enough, Leonie likes it too so it musn’t be that expensive?

Bourgeois Pike : “ A gourmet fish dish with Airmid pike, vegetables, and a sprinkle of expensive spices. Popular among nobles.”

It doesn’t come from Enbarr??

It needs a carrot and Airmid Pike. Dedue, Seteth and Manu are the only commoners fond of this dish, but I wonder what are those expensive spices needed. Saffron? Does it even exist in Fodlan? And why is it considered a gourmet dish? The ingredients aren’t that rare.

Calling it now, between Sitri’s resting place, the coffin where Seiros’s supposed to have been laid to rest and the storage room where Rhea does her monthly maintanance for golems, there is a specific room in the Monastery where randoms look after jerky, to make sure it ages properly and doesn’t develop mold or something like that.

Sautéed Jerky : “Jerky aged in the monastery and sautéed for a delightfully salty flavor. A perfect snack to go with your favorite drink.”

Now, Dimitri’s fond of this dish, but since he can’t taste it can it really be said he likes it? OTOH, Hubert likes it too, so our local evil chancelor drinks coffee while munching on chicken jerky. I still don’t understand why chickpeas are needed though.

Spicy Fish and Turnip Stew : “ Spicy stew made with Teutates loach and turnips. The monastery’s unique recipe features spices from Dagda.”

Turnip again

This dish has different local variations, given how the monastery’s one uses spices from Dagda. Is it because Garreg Mach can import spices from Dagda and the other places in Fodlan cannot or aren’t allowed, or because whoever is in charge of the meals in the monastery thought the turnip would taste good with Dagdan spices? Idk. Petra likes it, but Shamir isn’t particulary fond of this dish.

Sweet and Salty Whitefish Sauté : “ Whitefish is coated in spices and sautéed with dried tomatoes to bring out an addictive salty-sweet flavor.”

Dried tomatoes aren’t “sundried tomatoes” so maybe it’s an oversight, or there is a process (magical or just using an over) to dry tomatoes in Fodlan. This dish is exclusively liked by members of the BL house. Teutates is in Faerghus, but given how the climate is harsh, I don’t think tomatoes grow there? Or maybe they had some sort of magical greenhouses?

Super-Spicy Fish Dango : “ A light snack, popular in the Empire. Small, spicy balls of fried dough packed with white trout and dried tomato.”

This is the opposite of a gourmet or a lavish dish, but it is enjoyed in the Empire and not exclusively in Enbarr. Oddly enough, Hanneman is the only Adrestian fond of this. Leonie and Ingrid are fond of it, is it cheap? Given how it’s a snack and popular, I’d say it is.

c’est un acras de truite à la tomate?

Sautéed Pheasant and Eggs : “Thin slices of bird meat and shredded cabbage, mixed with scrambled eggs and sautéed spices. Invention of a certain noble.”

“a certain noble” WHO??

Ferdie’s fond of it, but I can’t see Aegir peeps inventing meals, and given the ingredients used, I cannot pinpoint an origin. It sounds like a snack. Claude is fond of it.

Garreg Mach Meat Pie : “A crispy-brown pie packed with tomatoes, cheese, and tender chunks of meat.” 

... This is totally comfort food, isn’t it?

Fittingly enough, Manuela is fond of it. Maybe she eats those pies when she has a hangover or something. OTOH, if it wasn’t evident enough with the previous recipes, Garreg Mach develops its own gastronomy, different from what we could find in the Alliance, the Kingdom or the Empire. I actually wonder how they are supplied with food, is everything made in the monastery or are they importing stuff from other places in Fodlan? Since they have Dagdan spices, they also import from Dagda or they grow their own brand of Dagdan spices?

Cheesy Verona Stew : “A rich dish consisting of verona and sautéed Teutates loach. These ingredients are boiled and served with two kinds of melted cheese.”

Dimitri is fond of this dish with all the reservations i expressed above. Hanneman is the only Adrestian fond of this dish, but damn, two melted cheeses in a fish dish? Is it a fish fondue or something?

Pickled Seafood and Vegetables : “A Dagdan dish of raw fish and turnips pickled in a vinegar-based seasoning liquid. Rarely eaten in Fodlan.”

It may be rarely eaten in Fodlan but a lot of students and staff members like this dish! Shamir isn’t part of them, but Hubert is. Since it’s pointed out here, raw fish sounds to be something only people in Dagda eat, or at least, Fodlanese randoms do not eat raw fish. So the pickled fish used in the fish sandwich is actually cooked fish? They made pickles from cooked things? Odd.

Gautier Cheese Gratin : “A gratin of bird meat topped with heaps of Gautier cheese, which is famous for its low fat content. It has a unique flavor.”

Low fat content cheese what kind of insanity - this uses a Noa fruit, even if Nuvelle and Gautier are geographically opposed if you look at a Fodlan map. But whoever invented this dish thought it’d be nice to put a Noa fruit in it, so why not. Dimitri’s fond of it, actually can it be that he likes whatever is cooked with cheese?

dimitri is a cheese lover so automatically dimitri = best lord

Cabbage and Herring Stew : “ Cabbage and Albinean herring stewed whole. The fish guts lend this hearty dish a superbly bitter kick.”

Again thanks to Albinean exports, Hubert can eat his bitter stew. Lorenz is fond of it too, just like Flayn, Manu and Hanneman. i don’t have a lot of things to say about this dish

Scrambled Eggs with Vegetables : “ Fried eggs mixed with tomatoes, cabbage, and chickpeas along with other vegetables and legumes. A highly nutritious dish.”

Again with the joke about hangover food, but Manu likes this “highly nutritious” dish. Given how it is enjoyed by various students across Fodlan, I’d say this dish isn’t tied to one region, but is actually eaten everywhere in the continent.

that’s it no more dishes

[nancypullen]

One More Dawn, One More Day, One Day More

In less than 24 hours we’ll be rid of Trump.  I don’t want to hear his name again unless it’s coverage of his trial. American voters toppled a wannabe dictator and already things are looking up.  Have you seen photos of the National Mall?  It’s beautiful.  The Biden inaugural committee has planted more than 200,000 flags representing states and territories, and at night there are 56 pillars of light as a nod to the50 states and six territories.  The installation represents us, the wonderful mishmash that makes up our nation, from sea to shining sea. Not just red or blue states, not just one gender or ethnicity, all of us.

It’s supposed to represent unity, but also the hundreds of thousands who can not attend the inauguration because of the pandemic.   No one has mentioned the curtailed inaugural activities due to the sinister and seditious events at the Capitol, but you know that safety is a concern as well.  The Biden team said that they have "commitment to an inclusive and safe event that everyone can enjoy from their home.”  Wow, an administration that actually cares about citizen safety and well-being. How refreshing! BUT... enough about politics.  My last post about ball gowns received such a positive response that I am determined to make this corner of the internet a HAPPY place again.  I started this blog in July of 2007 (yeahhh, it used to be more entertaining)  with the intent of putting positivity and whimsy into the world.   After four years of feeling angry every day, I’m going to get back to my roots. I’m going to remember how I found joy in little things, laughter in awkward moments, and beauty in the mundane.  Prepare yourselves for some happiness, folks.   Let’s start with a little bit of joy for your taste buds.  Good food is probably on my top ten list for things that make life enjoyable.  I do not understand people who forget to eat, or even worse, who don’t care what’s on their plate.  I worked with a woman once, an absolutely lovely woman I should add, who used to eat whatever was handy. We worked for the same airline and usually by the time we could grab a bit we were starving.  We worked crazy hours and my lunch(or dinner) was a reward for getting through the craziness. I’d bring a Lean Cuisine and dress it up.  If I packed a sandwich, it had to be pretty. Her lunch would consist of a plain piece of bread and a half cup of coleslaw - “I had to get it out of the frig.”  Once she had a bowl of baked beans and an orange. I used to offer her parts of my lunch but she’d wave me off. She was not strapped for cash, she was not lazy, and she said to me “It doesn’t matter what you eat, you just need a little weight in your stomach.”  Technically, I guess she was right - but where’s the joy in that?  I should probably add that she never had to go up a skirt size in her entire career with the airline, and I could probably use my old skirts for hot pads now, so joy could be fattening. Anywho...last week I checked out a few library books online and then zoomed over to pick them up.  One of the books I checked out was Joanna Gaines’ latest cookbook, volume two of Magnolia Table.

I flipped through, putting bookmarks in recipes that sounded interesting and decided that the first one I’d try was this -

Mmmm, what’s not to love about spicy shredded chicken, corn, cojito cheese, pickled onions, cilantro, lime....hungry yet?  It was such a simple, easy recipe and had a big flavor payoff (joy!).  I’ll definitely be making these again. The only extra step in the recipe was making pickled onions.  But that takes about two minutes.  I did it while I was in the kitchen making lunch.

The cookbook provided a recipe that required red wine vinegar, which I was out of - so I used my own tried and true method of about a half cup of apple cider vinegar, a tablespoon of sugar, a teaspoon and a half of salt, and a thinly sliced red onion.  It worked just fine. This soaked from noon til around six.  It doesn’t have to be that long.

To make the taco meat just put chicken breasts in a baking dish, cover them with the spice mixture, pour a half cup of chicken broth into the bottom of the pan, cover and bake.  She provides her recipe for the spices, honestly you could easily use a packet of taco seasoning - your choice.

Why yes, my tin foil does have creases in it.  I am Ethel’s granddaughter and con not toss out a perfectly good piece of foil if it can be reused. This was the last use for this piece, but she had a good run.

While your chicken is baking you’ll mix up the yummy topping.  Couldn’t be easier. Drain a can of corn, chop some cilantro, crumble some Cotija cheese, and you’re nearly done.

Cotija cheese can be found in any supermarket.  It’s often in a cooler near the taco shells and refried beans, stacked with various salsas.  I always see it in a large round, but I think you can also buy it already crumbled in a tub.

I think it tastes and feels like Feta, I’ll bet in a pinch you could swap it out.  

The recipe calls for a half cup of cheese...

my cup runneth over because I am a joy seeker.

The corn, the cheese, the onions, and the cilantro get tossed into a bowl with a couple squeezes of lime juice and some chili powder and salt.  Mixed together, that’s the topping for the tacos.

Once the chicken is out of the oven, let it cool a few minutes and then shred it with forks, mixing it into the juices in the pan.

The last step is to get your tortillas ready.  Sadly, I didn’t have yellow corn tortillas, only white corn.  Yellow would have been prettier.

You’ll toss them into a hot skillet or on a griddle for about a minute on each side, just to get a little color, you still need them to be bendy.  I guess pliable would have been a better word, but bendy works.

Then you load ‘em up!  

This was Mickey’s plate and he went back for seconds.

Because it’s just the two of us here there was enough left for lunch today. Yum! Here’s a link to the recipe: https://magnolia.com/street-taco-recipes/ This recipe looks involved, but it is NOT.  There are a couple of steps but it’s all so easy.  It comes together quickly for a pretty meal. I’m trying another recipe from the book tomorrow, if it’s as good as this one, I’ll share it here. That’s what’s happening at the Pullen spread.  We’re counting the hours until Joe and Kamala take their oaths and we can be assured that adults are in charge again.  I admit, I’ve been playing One Day More from Les Miserables this afternoon.  I may have been shouting the “One day to a new beginning, raise the flag of freedom high!”  part.   Vive la résistance!  Okay, different war, but I’m a little giddy today.  Maybe I should just close with this...

   As the song says, hold on for one more day, just hold on. Sending out SO MUCH LOVE. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO - Nancy

[jenguerrero]

#MattMoore @MattMoore #SerialGriller @SerialGriller #hmhco @hmhco

I loved Matt’s book, the South’s Best Butts, so I was psyched to see he had a new book out! First of all, I can’t even with that name!!! 😀 Serial Griller is a fabulous book, with great versions of the tried-and-true dishes you know and love, and some really creative ones to let you flex your grilling muscles! Terrific range. I want to highlight two iconic vacation favorites of ours. Every time we take a hiking vacation in Gatlinburg, TN, we stop for Nashville Hot Chicken Sandwiches on the way there and back. So ridiculously yummy! It never would have occurred to me to try grilling it. Does that luscious spicy and barely sweetened chicken oil stick to the grilled chicken the way it does to the fried? Yes!

New Orleans is only 8 hours from Fort Worth, so we love to duck down there, and when we do, you’d think we were in some sort of Po’Boy testing and analysis. He does his chuck roast on the grill, and it adds just a little smokiness to it. <sniff> It’s really a thing of beauty.

Big thanks to HMH for letting me share both of those recipes with you! I’ll tell you all about the other dishes we tried after the recipes. If you get the book, flip it open to the BBQ Meatloaf and Redneck potatoes and make those right away. Hug me later!

Excerpted fromSerial Griller: Grillmaster Secrets for Flame-Cooked Perfection© 2020 by Matt Moore. Photography © 2020 by Andrea Behrends and Helene Dujardin.Reproduced by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. All rights reserved.

East Nashville Hot Chicken

SERVES 4

Being a longtime resident of East Nashville, I’m hesitant to even include this recipe. I still have not come to terms with Nashville’s rapid ascent as a city, or the fact that hot chicken has become our food of export. Most folks incorrectly liken hot chicken to buffalo-style chicken. Classic hot chicken includes a paste—almost a batter—of molten butter or oil, sugar, and spice that’s a deep heat that hits you more in the gut than tongue. The classic hot chicken is fried, but this grilled spin is awesome. Serve the usual way, with soft white bread and tart dill pickles, and it’s a taste of home, no matter where you’re from.

HANDS-ON:35 minutes TOTAL:8 hours 35 minutes, including 8 hours marinating

4 bone-in, skin-on chicken breasts (about 1 pound) 2 cups dill pickle juice 1 cup water 1 tablespoon plus teaspoons kosher salt 1 cup canola oil 2 tablespoons light brown sugar 2 tablespoons cayenne pepper 1 tablespoon paprika 1 tablespoon freshly ground black pepper 8(1-ounce) white sandwich bread slices 20 dill pickle chips

1.Place the chicken, pickle juice, water, and 1 table-spoon of the salt in a large ziplock plastic bag. Seal the bag and marinate in the refrigerator for 8 to 12 hours. Remove the chicken from the bag; dis-card the marinade. Set the chicken aside at room temperature.

2.Open the bottom vent of a charcoal grill completely. Light a charcoal chimney starter filled with charcoal. When the coals are covered with gray ash, pour them onto the bottom grate of the grill. Adjust the vents as needed to maintain an internal temperature of 400° to 450°F. (If using a gas grill, preheat to medium-high [400° to 450°F].)

3.Combine the oil, sugar, cayenne, paprika, and black pepper in a small grill-safe saucepan; place on unoiled grates. Cook, uncovered and stirring often, until tiny bubbles form and the sugar melts, 3 to 4 minutes. Remove from the heat. Pour the mixture into a heatproof bowl and allow to cool slightly, about 10 minutes.

4.Sprinkle the chicken with the remaining 2 teaspoons salt. Coat the top grate with oil; place the chicken on the oiled grates. Grill, covered, until a thermometer inserted in thickest portion of the chicken registers 160°F, 10 to 12 minutes per side. Remove from the heat and let cool for 5 minutes.

5.Dip the chicken, one breast at a time, in the oil-sugar mixture. Place two bread slices on each of four serving plates; top one slice on each plate with a chicken breast and five pickle chips.

Debris Po’Boy

SERVES 6

Chuck roast seems to always be on sale at my local grocery—especially on Sundays. Though I’m all for a low-and-slow roast in the oven or slow cooker on the weekend, I prefer throwing this bad boy on the grill until the exterior is crusty and caramelized. Once it’s got a good exterior char, I finish cooking the roast in a Dutch oven until it is fall-apart moist and tender, “debris” style. Of course, you can serve the beef as a traditional roast with all the fixings, but I like it shredded and piled in a classic po’boy, dressed with the trimmings and reserved drippings. Keep a bowl of that savory drippings nectar close for dunking.

HANDS-ON:25 minutes TOTAL:3 hours 15minutes

1 (3-pound) boneless chuck roast 2 teaspoons kosher salt 1½ teaspoons freshly ground black pepper 3 cups unsalted beef stock ¾ cup (6 ounces) salted butter, softened 6 (8-inch-long) portions Italian bread, split 6 tablespoons mayonnaise 12 (¾-ounce) slices provolone cheese 3 cups shredded iceberg lettuce (from 1 head) 12 thin tomato slices (from 1 large [12-ounce] tomato) 24 dill pickle chips Crystal hot sauce (optional)

1.Open the bottom vent of a charcoal grill completely. Light a charcoal chimney starter filled with charcoal. When the coals are covered with gray ash, pour them onto the bottom grate of the grill. Adjust vents as needed to maintain an internal temperature of 300° to 350°F. Coat the top grate with oil; place on the grill. (If using a gas grill, preheat to medium-low [300° to 350°F].)

2.Season the beef with the salt and pepper. Place on the oiled grates. Grill, covered and turning occasionally, until browned on all sides, 15 to 20 minutes. Transfer to a large Dutch oven. Pour the stock over the beef and place the Dutch oven on the grates. Grill, covered, until thebeef is fork-tender and a thermometer inserted in thickest portion registers 145°F, about 2½ hours. Remove the pot from the heat. Transfer the beef to a cutting board (reserving drippings in the pot); let rest for 15 minutes.

3.Spread the butter evenly on the cut sides of the bread. Place the bread, cut-side down, on the oiled grates and grill until just golden brown, about 45 seconds. Remove from the grill.

4.Shred the beef with a fork. Spread the mayonnaise evenly on the bread tops. Place two cheese slices on each bread bottom. Top evenly with the shredded beef, lettuce, tomato, pickles, and hot sauce (if desired). Pour the reserved beef drippings into a serving bowl; serve alongside the sandwiches.

The Sweet Potatoes al Rescoldo on page 91 are the absolute best, and would be the perfect accompaniment to your Thanksgiving turkey. Buttery and sweet with pie spices, a little chile, and nuts.

The BBQ Meatloaf on page 271 is fantastic! And he’s talking BBQ sauce – it’s made on the grill. Killer meatloaf! Tons of flavor and the texture was perfect. I made this will the potatoes below and it was outstanding.

The Redneck Potatoes on page 211 are total keepers. I’ve made them twice already. It’s that comfort food perfection that you’re hoping for.

The East Nashville Hot Chicken on page 237 is amazing!!! Amazing! It never would have occurred to me that you could grill it instead of frying it. Yeah, the coating sticks!

The Flank Steak with Black-Garlic Board Sauce on page 53 is fabulous! If you’ve never tried it before, hunting down the black garlic is well worth it. It adds so much depth of flavor to the sauce. He’s recommending dried grapevines as fuel, but I went with one of his substitutes, dried peach wood.

The Spatchcocked Whole Chicken on page 240 is so yummy. If you haven’t tried spatchcocking before, you’re in for a treat! It cooks so evenly and stays wonderfully juicy. Do it!

The Debris Po’Boy on page 229 is to die for. We try all the Po’Boys every time we find ourselves in New Orleans and this has all the lusciousness you’re expecting in a Po’Boy with a little kiss of smokiness from the grill. We loved them!

The Bacon and Swiss Burgers on page 60 are perfect. I grill burgers or do them in the skillet, but hadn’t thought of combining those two. Truly the best of both worlds. Note: He doesn’t mention seasoning the patties before you start grilling, and you’re going to want to do that.

The Meatballs with Sweet-and-Sour Sauce on page 162 are great. They’ve got a Swedish meatball vibe with a lot of flavor overlap, so I love that they’re glazed in lingonberries.

The Chili on the Grill on page 266 is a really flavorful, nearly all meat version. I stole a piece of wood from my smoker for the final one hour simmer to amp up the smokiness. So good!

The Pork Gyros on page 223 are really flavorful and juicy. So good!

*I received a copy to explore and share my thoughts.

Need a copy of that book? I’m an Amazon affiliate. Every time you use one of my links to make a purchase, Amazon gives me a tiny percentage. Thank you!

Serial Griller

East Nashville Hot Chicken and Debris Po’Boy Recipes and cookbook review: Serial Griller #MattMoore @MattMoore #SerialGriller @SerialGriller #hmhco @hmhco I loved Matt’s book, the South’s Best Butts, so I was psyched to see he had a new book out!

[sickficsbypyroyoshi]

Pyro’s archived fics #3: Calvin’s stomach bug

I wrote this six years ago, way back in 2011! The characters are based off people I’ve known in real life, and the main character is me with a different name. For some odd reason, I wrote this one in first person present tense instead of third person past tense. Why, I have no idea.

As soon as I step into the store, I know a long, dull night awaits me. I normally work mornings, doing maintenance on Fridays and Saturdays and prep on Sundays and Mondays. Tonight, I’m working my first overnight in a year and a half, because I need to boil out the deep fryer in the kitchen. It’s a lengthy, tedious procedure that takes hours and needs to be done once or twice a year.

As a ritual before I clock in, I look at the set up to see who I’ll be spending the next eight hours with. Sylvia, the overnight manager, some chubby guy who I’ve worked with for three years yet have never spoken to, and Calvin, who I’ve liked for some time now. This comes as a pleasant surprise.

I have a boyfriend, but due to the huge physical distance between us, I never get to see him anymore. Plus, the initial spark that occurred when we met was starting to fizzle out. I don’t cheat, so while I won’t actively pursue Calvin, that won’t stop me from appreciating him anyway.

I loiter in the break room for a few minutes, waiting for ten o clock to roll around before making my way up front to punch in. I then saunter into the kitchen where Calvin is, taking a moment to sweep my eyes over him. He’s caucasian, approximately 5’11’’ or 6’ with a slender build, yet not skinny. He has brown eyes, shaggy brown hair, a laberet piercing, and the holes or ‘tunnels’ in his earlobes are just slightly smaller than mine. (I can stick straws through my ears). I then tell him that I’m going to be a vital inconvenience, and explain the procedure that I have to complete. He responds with a simple, “That’s fine.” and doesn’t say anything else.

The next couple minutes are spent gathering all the necessary supplies I’ll need. I deposit them in the kitchen and then make my way back to the sink, which is divided into three compartments. I fill one with water and the other with water and delimer. I then add bleach to it, which results in acid that will strip off any sort of build up in seconds. Moseying back into the kitchen, I put my ipod in and go to work on the vats, draining all the oil. Beside me, Calvin is doing a half assed job scraping the excess ice from the hanging freezer. He seemed rather unfocused, like something might be bothering him. “So, how do you like overnights?” I ask, getting his attention. “They’re okay. Kind of boring though.” he replies. “That’s true. At this store, anyway. I used to do overnights for two years. They were kind of dull here, but overnights at the old store were the best. There were lots of bizarre conversations and nights when we’d simply sit in the break room and burn a couple. As baked as we’d be, we were still ten times more competent than most of the people working here now. Isn’t that pathetic?” “Yeah, it is.” Calvin says, then walks away when an order pops up on the screen.

I unscrew the heating element from the vat, removing it with a special tool so I don’t burn myself. After that, I pour water into the vat, adding a third of a jug of degreaser. “Now for the fun part. Waiting!” I blather to myself. I’m about to zone out when Calvin addresses me. “Could you do me a favor and get breakfast stock?” he asks. “I suppose.  Are you in a lazy mood tonight?” I inquire. “No, I’m just not feeling that great. I feel like shit, actually.” At those words, a small pang of excitement courses through me. It could end up being nothing, or I could get a show at some point tonight. I never want anybody to be sick, but I secretly hope that the second option is the one that occurs. Concealing my feelings, I simply say, “Oh. Okay.” and venture into the walk in freezer to get the stock. After I get it all and put it away, I go back to work, but now I’m the unfocused one. All I can really think about is Calvin puking right there in the kitchen, with me beside him as it happens. Maybe he’ll even puke right on me, nailing me right between my boobs. That would be so exhilarating. I bite my tongue and try to block out these thoughts, because I don’t want to get myself off at work.

I decide to leave him alone for awhile, doing my work and trying to think about things that bore me, such as politics, my taxes, and football. Looking over in his direction, I sense that the chance he’ll give me a ‘performance’ seems to have increased a bit. I can visually tell that he doesn’t feel good, and seems to be more scatter brained at this point.

The monitor above the assembly line beeps, and an order for 10 McChickens and 10 McDoubles appears. After dropping some product, I go over to help Calvin make the food. “Bleh. Mayo is so disgusting. Who would want extra mayo on anything?” I cringe as a shove a McChicken with extra extra mayonnaise towards him. Calvin makes a noise of disgust and backs away from the table for a moment before seeming to get things back under control. I raise a brow. “Are you alright?” I ask him. “I don’t know. I guess, for a second there I thought I might puke.” he replies. “Hmm. Well if you have to, go ahead. I’ll be back here to cover you.” I try to say as nonchalantly as possible.

After a while, I glance at the clock and discover that it’s half an hour past midnight. Sylvia is up front getting flustered, the pudgey guy in back booth is listening to some crappy generic rock, I’m absentmindedly chipping away at the vats, and Calvin is now sitting on the oven with his head in his hands. He makes a moaning sound and stands up, right as a crowd of intoxicated customers wander into the store. Both of the girls are giggling hysterically about something, and one of the guys loudly announces that he has to take a big dump and walks off into the bathroom right as Calvin gags audibly.

As soon as I hear that sound, my excitement returns and literally punches me in the face. This is it, I think to myself. It’s got to be. And I’m right, of course. Calvin leans over the reach in freezer, seemingly trying to vanquish the inevitable. He retches and covers his mouth, but it doesn’t prevent anything. Luckily, I have very fast reflexes, so I send the garbage can sliding in his general direction. It bounces off the freezer just as Calvin loses it, gagging once more before sending the first wave of half digested food into it.

My eyes widen, half from excitement and half from surprise. Another order pops up, but I pay zero attention to it, instead completely focused on what’s going on directly in front of me. Calvin is hovering over the garbage can, gripping the sides and copiously throwing up into it. Each wave is rather voluminous, which is just the way I like it. He doesn’t make a whole lot of noise other than minimal retching between heaves. In fact, he’s much quieter while gagging than I could ever hope to be.  I feel hot, and I notice a tingling sensation between my legs, which starts off barely there but increases rapidly. I want to put my arms around him, actually getting to feel each heave and convulsion firsthand. I want to run my inch long talons through his hair and position myself behind him in such a way that his ass would grind against my crotch with each retch. Yet, I know that if I did either of those things, I might as well walk around with a huge neon sign declaring, “I’m an emetophile!” So I stick to watching, trying my hardest to retain a poker face the entire time, and keeping my mouth tightly clamped shut to prevent myself from making any noise.

Sylvia pokes her head into the kitchen, “Hey guys are you going to make tha- oh god, is he puking?!” she gasps and turns pale, like she was about to get sick herself. “Why yes, Sylvia, he is.” I state. “Oh my...” she trails off and retreats back up front.

As much as I want to keep watching intently, I realize that someone will have to make the order. I make it as quickly as possible, trying to keep Calvin in my peripheral vision. I hear a couple retches punctuated with a few more waves of puke splashing into the bottom of the garbage can, and then it ceases just as I assemble the last sandwich. After he’s done, Calvin remains hunched over for a few seconds before spitting out some excess mucus and standing up.

I feel even hotter now, and begin to wonder if I may need a change of panties, as my current pair was now a bit wet. I’m fighting the urge to touch myself, and if I uselessly stand here any longer, I fear that someone might catch on to me. When Calvin unsteadily walks out of the kitchen to get himself a glass of water, I take a very quick look into the can for a closer view of what he produced. The puke itself was orangish brown in color, and I could recognize some french fry shards and other fragments of a free McDonald’s meal, including bits of meat and slivers of shredded lettuce. It was running down all four sides, and a lot of it had landed in an empty pickle container.

Since I didn’t want anyone to realize what I was doing, I went up front. Sylvia, who apparently doesn’t do well with gross things of any kind, still looks a bit freaked out and quietly says, “...You can go home, Calvin...just please don’t barf on me. Maybe Evelyn could give you a ride.” “I could definitely do that. I’ll just need to get my stuff.” I say, then tell Calvin to wait for me.

 I quickly gather my purse, then the two of us go outside, where I lead him to my vehicle. “I shall now give you a ride home in the back of my serial killer van!” I point a clawed finger at my method of transportation, a large, beat up industrial van with the words, ‘serial killer van’ spray painted on the side. “You’ll have to ride in the back because there’s too much crap in the passenger seat, but there’s a small sofa in the back so you can lay down if you want.” I inform and open the rear doors. Calvin climbs inside and immediately flops down on the sofa. I lock the doors and get in the driver’s seat. Despite being 21 years old, I’ve only had my license for a few months, and freely admit to being far from a great driver. As a matter of fact, I drive like an idiot while totally sober, so I’m not sure what would happen if a certain distraction were to take place in the back. I decide not to tell Calvin about my lack of driving experience and instead ask him where he lives, which turns out to be across town.

“Okay. Let us go then.” I mumble to myself and start up the van. It’s a bit of a bouncy ride, so I can’t help but wonder if he’ll make it through the whole thing. After a few minutes I ask how he’s holding up, but I don’t get a reply. Glancing behind me, I see that he’s collapsed across the sofa, staring at the wall and looking generally miserable, which makes me feel a little guilty about being aroused by this. I’d like to make him feel better, but there isn’t anything I could do.

Just as I’m about to face forward again, he suddenly sits strait up. “Stop the van. Please.” “Okay,” I respond and steer the vehicle over to the side of the road, hearing the back doors open right as it comes to a halt. I don’t want my passenger to think that I don’t care about his well being, so I jump out of the driver’s seat and walk around back. Instead of getting out of the van, Calvin is perched on the edge, on his hands and knees, with pre heave saliva dripping out of his mouth. Just as I take another step towards him, he explodes, sending a waterfall of liquified food onto the pavement, and onto my work boots. Before I can move, my feet take another splashing. Thank god my work boots are both rubber and knee high, otherwise I’d have barf in my socks.

I don’t feel so aroused anymore. Instead, my caring nature takes over. I extend a hand and gently caress his shoulder, not in a sensual way, but more in a motherly way. Though I realize that doing so probably doesn’t help matters any, he still might appreciate it.

Over the course of the next minute, Calvin hurls up several more waves before stopping. When no more appears to be forthcoming, he sits back, wiping his mouth off. “Done?” I ask. He nods, still looking rather sick and uncomfortable. I take this time to look down and assess the soiled footwear situation, realizing that it’s become worse: I’m standing in a sizable lake of puke. “Hmm. Maybe I shouldn’t have stood so close.” I back up a few feet. “Well Calvin, my feet sure have taken a nasty punishment. But hey, at least these are just my work clothes.” “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to puke on you.” Calvin says apologetically before retreating back to the sofa. “Don’t worry about it, I was just joking. Trying to make you feel a little better. You are going to be okay, right?” I ask. I really do care about him, I just don’t show my emotions easily.

Calvin contorts his face momentarily before speaking. “I’ll be fine. I still feel kind of nauseous though.” “I’m afraid there isn’t much I can do about that, but if you want, I can quickly mosey over to that gas station and get you a bottle of water. Or a Sprite, whatever you’d prefer.” I offer. I don’t even wait for him to respond before deciding to go. I need to scrub my boots off anyway.

Ten minutes later, I return with clean boots, some water for Calvin and a Coke for myself. “How are you feeling?” I inquire. Calvin sighs. “About the same. I still feel sick, but I don’t have to puke again. At least, not right now.” Without thinking, I clamber into the back of the van and sit beside him on the sofa. “Sit in front of me. I give awesome back and shoulder massages.” I inform, putting my hands to work. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” “Yeah...don’t you have to go back to work though?” Calvin asks, sounding drowsy. “Ugh. Don’t remind me. I think they can manage half an hour without me. Plus, you’re sick. I want to at least try to make you feel better.” Looking like he can barely keep his eyes open, he turns towards me. “Thanks Evelyn...you’re a really nice person, taking care of me like this. In the past hour, I’ve thrown up in front of you twice. Didn’t that disgust you at all?”

I remain silent, yet thinking, ‘Oh, you have no idea. Seeing you lose it like that actually severely aroused me, and I was on the brink of orgasm back in the kitchen. Truthfully, I wanted to hump you right then and there, but that would have been extremely unprofessional. I also feel more attracted to you now that I’ve ever been.’ Of course, I keep those thoughts to myself. “No,” I finally say. “No it didn’t. I have a very high tolerance for that sort of thing.”

I feel pressure on my left side, and see that Calvin has fallen asleep and is leaning against me. It feels nice, and in turn makes me content. I usually despise sappy romantic crap, but this is one of those moments I wouldn’t mind having a repeat of. I actually feel ready to doze off myself, and completely forgetting that fact that I need to go back to work, I close my eyes. Before drifting off, I make a mental note to call my soon to be ex boyfriend and give him that talk.

[guitarpanda8]

8 Amazingly Easy Summer Recipe Ideas With 10 Minutes Prep!

These recipes are brought to you by Woolworths.

Want to make the most of summer? These 8 easy recipe ideas will have you enjoying your time outside the house but still eating well. Think a crowd pleasing 6 layer salad; refreshing Limeade; polenta & parmesan fries with pesto aioli; my favourite ever chicken salad (and I mean it, pinky swear); Nashville Hot Chicken with maple and waffles and to finish a quick freeze Chocolate Peppermint Ice Cream Cake! Best of all these take between 5-15 minutes prep thanks to some smart shopping!

For me, while I love to cook, you may have noticed that my summer recipes are simpler. That's because I don't want to spend too long in the kitchen. I'd rather be out with friends. Winter is another matter where I braise and roast for hours and stay indoors reading or watching movies while waiting for summer to reappear. But summer is really an outdoor season.

6 layer salad to feed a party!

That’s why I’ve come up with some quick and easy Summer recipe ideas using Woolworths’ ready made products. Because sometimes you want to cook something that takes 10 minutes prep but you know me, I like to fiddle with things. And you shouldn't have to sacrifice flavour or taste in order to save time. And here I show that you can use ready made items to come up with canny shortcuts to make a yummy dish!

My favourite ever chicken salad

If I could do one thing it would be to be able to control time. Because I feel like I'm in a constant battle to do things while fighting time. By the time the end of the day rolls around I really wonder where the time went.

Quick Freeze Chocolate Peppermint Ice Cream Cake

The other night I was up late-much later than I wanted to be. You know those times where you just wish you were home in bed? I was out at dinner and I was bone tired and they had cleared out dessert plates. And sometimes when I am tired I get sort of tired tipsy. I'm not actually tipsy but I feel like it. I get sort of delirious.

Refreshing Limeade

We were all eager to leave but one guy had gone to the bathroom and been gone for so long we had almost forgotten about him. And I think I almost dozed off and when I woke up I was thinking, "What are we waiting for???"

DIY Peanut Butter and Salted Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Sandwiches

Except I blurted it out loud. Like very loud. I only realised that I had actually spoken out loud when everyone turned to me. I honestly try and be polite most times but when I get tired, things fly out of my mouth.

Nashville Hot Chicken & Waffles with Maple Syrup

"Did I say that out loud?" I whispered to my seat mate. She nodded laughing. Thankfully our host didn't take offence as I think he too was wondering where he had gone and he too wanted to be home in bed too.

Smoked Beef Brisket with quick Japanese Potato Salad

So while I usually offer you from scratch recipes there are times when shortcuts and time savings helps. Sometimes you just don't have the motivation or means to smoke an entire beef brisket and sometimes you do. But save these recipes for when you are short of time. And don't get delirious tired like me ;)

So tell me Dear Reader, do you ever blurt out things? Do you get a bit delirious when you are tired? And do you ever wish you could control time?

Polenta and Parmesan Chips with Pesto Aioli

My Favourite Ever Chicken Salad

All Original Recipe ideas by Lorraine Elliott

This is one of my favourite salads and a real crowd pleaser if you're taking it to a picnic or a gathering. Even though I'm not a huge celery fan, it earns its place in this salad by adding a fantastic crunch along with the walnuts.

Preparation time: 15 minutes

Cooking time: 0 minutes

Serves: 6-8 (perfect for a crowd)

1 Woolworths Macro free range roast chicken

1 green shallot, sliced

3/4 cup mayonnaise

1/2 cup walnuts, chopped

1-2 sticks celery, chopped

1/4 cup chopped sweet pickles

3 tablespoons chopped fresh tarragon

2 tablespoons sesame seeds toasted

Step 1 - Remove the meat from the chicken-you should get around 3.5-4 cups of chicken meat. Mix this along with the rest of the ingredients together in a large bowl. Serve with greens or on its own.

Refreshing Limeade

If you've ever baulked at the cost of limes but love citrus drinks like limeade these frozen lime slices are perfect to keep in your freezer. They come already sliced up so all you do is muddle them in a light sugar syrup. This is utterly refreshing and perfect for a hot day!

Makes 1 litre Limeade

Preparation time: 7 minutes

Cooking time: 7 minutes

1 cup water

1/2-2/3 cup white sugar (depending on how sweet you want it)

1.5 cups Woolworths Frozen Lime Slices (freezer section)

Caviar beads from 2 finger limes

750ml soda water, chilled

Step 1 - Boil the water with the sugar until the sugar has dissolved. Add the lime slices and cook for 3-4 minutes. Remove from heat and muddle using a French rolling pin or end of a thick wooden spoon. Allow to cool completely.

Step 2 - Pour into a large 1 litre jug along with finger lime caviar and top up with soda water.

Polenta & Parmesan Chips with Pesto Aioli

Like a lower fat version of hot chips, these polenta and parmesan chips are just like at your favourite restaurant. Baked rather than fried they are crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. I'd even suggest making double for a crowd they're that good.

Preparation time: 3 minutes

Cooking time: 15 minutes

Woolworths Polenta & Parmesan Chips (250g, freezer section)

1/4 cup Woolworths Garlic Aioli

1 tablespoons Woolworths Select Pesto Basil

Parmesan cheese for sprinkling

Basil leaves for decoration

Step 1 - Preheat oven to 200C/400F and line a baking tray with parchment. Place chips in a single layer and bake for 15 minutes or until crispy.

Step 2 - Meanwhile mix the pesto and aioli and place in a small side dish. Grate parmesan cheese on top, add basil leaves and serve with the pesto aioli.

Six Layer Salad

The perfect entertaining salad, this six layer salad melds fresh vegetables and potato, quinoa and bean and pasta salads. This is a real time saver and can feed up to a dozen people as part of a spread.

Preparation time: 15-20 minutes

Cooking time: 0 minutes

800g Woolworths Potato Egg And Bacon Salad

2 avocados, skin and pit removed and chopped

800g Woolworths Ancient Grain Salad

2x200g punnets Solanato Tomato, 3/4 of them quartered, 1/4 halved

2x350g Woolworths Basil Pesto Pasta Salad

300g corn, drained

1/4 cup chives, chopped

Step 1 - Take a trifle bowl and layer the bottom with potato, egg and bacon salad. Add the diced avocado. Then layer with ancient grain salad pressing down gently to create a smooth surface.

Step 2 - Then add the tomatoes-I put a layer of the halved tomatoes cut side facing out and then placed the quartered tomatoes in the centre. Add the basil pesto pasta salad on top of this. Then add the corn on top and then sprinkle with chives.

Nashville Hot Chicken With Maple & Waffles

Now Nashville hot chicken is an entirely different beast than chicken and waffles. Usually Nashville hot chicken is served with a piece of white supermarket bread and not with maple syrup and waffles. But hear me out Dear Reader, sweet goes so well with spicy (think sweet chilli sauce) and while this was delicious without the maple, once I drizzled maple syrup on the chicken it became one of those things that I could not stop eating!

Preparation time: 10 minutes

Cooking time: 45 minutes

850g Woolworths Southern Style Crumbed Chicken Pieces (freezer section)

2 teaspoons smoked hot paprika

2 tablespoons rice bran oil

1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper (or to taste)

130g packet English waffles (6 pieces)

250g Woolworths Maple & Bacon Salad Kit or American slaw

Step 1 - Preheat oven to 200C/400F and line a baking tray with parchment. Lay out chicken pieces in a single layer and sprinkle with hot paprika. Combine oil and cayenne pepper and brush it over the pieces. Bake for 40-45 minutes or until done.

Step 2 - Make the salad by adding the cranberries and bacon bits and then add dressing and toss. Just before serving toast the waffles and add the salad and chicken. Serve with maple syrup (it may sound odd but trust me, it's delicious!).

Beef Brisket & Quick Potato Salad

This recipe saves so much time but the end result doesn't show it (honestly you have to try this!). Beef brisket is a big deal. It takes ages to make and you need a smoker as well. This beef brisket is super soft and tender and tastes like it came from Texas. All you have to do is heat it up in the oven for 30 minutes. For the true Texas experience, eat it with your hands, unadorned without sauce.

Japanese potato salad is definitely not on the menu at a bbq restaurant but hear me out. Most of us have probably tried potato salad but have you ever tried a Japanese potato salad? It's amazing! A Japanese potato salad is mostly made up of soft mashed potato with boiled eggs, mayonnaise, onion, carrot and cucumber. It too can be quite a production but I found a fun use for the Woolworths roasted garlic mash. All I had to do was add the mix ins and condiments and I had a divine Japanese potato salad to go with my beef brisket!

Preparation time: 15-20 minutes

Cooking time: 35 minutes

Serves 4-6

2x 750g Woolworths Simply Heat Smoked Beef Brisket

2x 475g Woolworths Roasted Garlic Mash

3 boiled eggs

1 small red onion, finely diced

3/4 Lebanese cucumber, thinly sliced

1 small carrot, shredded

3/4 cup kewpie mayonnaise

1 tablespoon rice vinegar

2 teaspoons sugar

Salt and pepper to season

Step 1 - Heat BBQ with the lid on to medium heat. Cook the brisket for 30 minutes per 500g of meat. OR cover with oiled foil and roast in a 210C oven for 25 minutes per 500g. Remove foil and cook for 5 minutes. Rest for 10 minutes then slice.

Step 2 - Make the potato salad while the meat is cooking. I find it easiest to have all the ingredients measured out and then you just mix it all up together (don't heat the mash). Season with salt and pepper.

Quick Chocolate Peppermint Ice Cream Cake

Ice Cream cakes usually require freezing for a few hours or overnight to set the entire thing. This one sets in an hour as it uses ice cream sandwiches wedged with some peppermint chocolate cream so freezing time is a lot shorter! The decoration is a cinch too!

2 packets Woolworths Peppermint Chocolate Flakes Ice Cream Sandwich (8 in total freezer section)

600ml cream

4 tablespoons honey or sugar

5 Peppermint crisp bars

1 tablespoon cocoa powder

Fresh mint leaves to decorate

Step 1 - Line a long loaf tin on the base and sides with parchment. Smash up 2 of the peppermint crisp bars and set aside. Whip the cream with honey or sugar until soft peaks form and then mix in the smashed chocolate bars.

Step 2 - Spread some on the base and sides of the lined tin. Line with the ice cream sandwiches and the smooth some more cream to fill in the gaps and make another layer of ice cream sandwiches. Cover with some more of the peppermint cream and cover and freeze. It should be set in about an hour or so since the inside is made up of frozen ice cream sandwiches.

Step 3 - Dust with cocoa powder and then the remaining smashed peppermint bars.

Peanut Butter Salted Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Sandwiches

These peanut butter salted chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches are the ultimate easy dessert. Sometimes biscuits can get soft in the freezer but these King of Chunky Chocolate Chip Cookies stay crisp as you make them fresh every time!

Preparation time: 5 minutes

Cooking time: 0 minutes

1 litre tub of Woolworths Peanut Butter and Salted chocolate Ice Cream

1/2 cup creamy or chunky peanut butter

310g box Woolworths The King Of Chunky Chocolate Chip Cookies

Step 1 - Leave ice cream out for 5 minutes to soften a bit. Spread peanut butter on the inside of one cookie. Scoop some ice cream on top and press down with another cookie. Freeze until needed.

Source: https://www.notquitenigella.com/2019/02/12/easy-summer-recipes-10-minutes/

[greecechef4-blog]

Nocturnal Cravings At The Nighthawk Diner, Chippendale

An American style diner food in the heart of Sydney? The Nighthawk Diner serves up fried green tomatoes, fried chicken steaks, gumbo and pie in a modern diner setting. All with a giant screen playing classic movies like Raiders of the Lost Ark!

It's bucketing down with rain and hail on the night of our visit. But when Viggo messages me to ask if we are still going out for dinner, my response is "Rain schmain, we are still on!". Nighthawk Diner started as a food truck serving up burgers, fries and Cuban sandwiches. They named the food truck and diner after Edward Hopper's famous oil painting "Nighthawks". Nighthawk Diner's chef Alistair Fogg lived in North America for much of his 20s and has held various jobs such as a diamond digger, superyacht chef and taxi driver but always came back to cheffing.

We take a seat in the movie room which is spacious but I look over longingly at a blue booth and ask to move there. "Have booth, will sit," is my motto. Service is friendly from our American waiter. Comically, there's a miscommunication and everything arrives at once (we ordered two starters and four mains and two sides between the four of us).

There's a look of hushed silence before Viggo says uncertainly, "Is there more food coming out?" while the couple next to us look upon us with a combination of horror and fascination as every surface of our table is covered with food or drink. "Let's just move the sauces shall we?" says Louise trying to make room.

Boozy Shake $16

There is a list of classic cocktails as well as an option for a regular and a boozy shake. I wanted a breakfast cocktail (there's an all day breakfast menu too) but unfortunately they're out of protein balls. Louise is frazzled because she has just spent almost 2 hours driving across the Harbour Bridge in delays because of an accident so she needs a stiff drink. There are two types of shakes that they can make boozy shake: an Oreo or a salted caramel one and she opts for the former with a shot of whatever takes your fancy. In this case it's bourbon. It's delicious and I end up trying quite a bit of it (tipsy, moi?). It's rich but there is just the right amount of bourbon in this.

Miami Cuban Sandwich $17

I tossed up whether to get the Miami Cuban sandwich which I've had at the food truck and really enjoyed because the menu is quite extensive and there were other things I wanted to try but Viggo and Mr NQN were total enablers, convincing me that they also should try it. The soft hoagie roll is filled with slices of citrus pork, maple smoked bacon, house made pickles, American cheese and chipotle mayo. There's a certain gloriousness to a meal whose only vegetable involves a pickle. Your brain says, "This won't be healthy" but your mouth says "Hell yeah".

Fried Green Tomatoes $15

I have only had fried green tomatoes served in a very rich way which is breaded and fried with a thick country style gravy. This is a fresher version with four crumbed and fried slices of green or unripe tomato on a bed of sweet corn puree with a wild rice succotash and the freshness of a peach and jalapeño sauce.

Nachos in a Bag $10 and pork $4

I remember having a Fritos pie when in Chicago and this is a larger version made with corn chips instead of Fritos. It's a bag split open with the corn chips topped with Nighthawk cheese sauce and red salsa. We also added some pork for good measure because Viggo couldn't eat the gumbo and he loves pork. The pork comes in large shredded chunks - perhaps smaller pieces would be good for better distribution over the corn chips and ratios. Because you know I think about this stuff a lot.

Fried Chicken Steak $26

And then comes one of my favourite dishes. And when they set it down I think my eyes bulged out of my head cartoon style at its sheer size. It's an enormous buttermilk marinated boneless chicken breast (although seriously, it's like two or three chicken breasts in size). It is dipped in seasoned flour and then fried and then topped with a white country style gravy with plenty of ham. It's so rich and gloriously crunchy and creamy-an unashamed screw you to anyone suggesting a salad for dinner.

Louisiana Prawn and Chicken Gumbo $27

I also love the gumbo, a rich deeply flavoured stew made with prawns, chicken and Andouille sausage with herb ranch and a thick wedge of toasted sweet buttery cornbread on the side. The cornbread is spectacular - decidedly sweet but goes so well with this savoury stew.

Mash and Gravy $10

Viggo spotted the mash and gravy and wanted to try this as you don't often see the two together on a menu. "Would you like some potato with your butter?" he says spooning a creamy heap onto his plate. The brown country gravy is delicious with the buttery mash.

Cheesy Fries $9 + bacon $4 and Fried jalapenos $2

You'd think we had ordered enough but no we needed fries right? These are shoestring fries served with a house-made smoked cheese sauce to which we added some maple smoked bacon and fried jalapenos. Just because we are going for the full American experience here y'all. I would have loved some more cheese sauce on this.

Sundae Du Jour $16

It's dessert time. The sundae du jour is no shrinking violet and it's a soft serve with cream, a thick chocolate fudge Nutella sauce and deep fried Oreos. I'll just let that all sink in for a second. Yep, deep fried Oreos. And they're pretty damn good and remind me of going to the deep fried capital of the world, the Dallas State Fair where they deep fry butter, Thanksgiving dinners and cake.

Pie Du Jour $15

There was a peanut butter brittle pie that got me very excited because I love peanut butter. But we end up getting the last piece of pumpkin pie instead which while very smooth, spiced and delicious (not to mention an enormous slice) isn't quite scratching that peanut butter brittle itch that I was hoping for. Alas that will have to wait for another time because we could not fit another bite in!

So tell me Dear Reader, do you like American diner style food? Has all of your food accidentally arrived at the same time? And has rain or hail ever caused you to cancel plans?

This meal was independently paid for.

69 Abercrombie St, Chippendale NSW 2008 Tuesday to Saturday 11am–10pm Sunday 11am–4pm Monday Closed thenighthawk.com.au Phone: (02) 9319 0548

Source: http://www.notquitenigella.com/2018/09/25/nighthawk-diner-chippendale/

[thethrillof]

Smile for Me + “Oh my god, your[sic] bleeding!”

warning for blood, bein high, tooth stuff, and some questionable spelling :V

*

“Oh mmy GOD.” The voice crashes over you, speedy and unstoppable, filling your ears. “Your bleeding!” You know that voice. You’ve heard it. You’ve seen it with endless smiles and endless offense locked just behind the lips.

The introductory shadow is tall, tall, tall, reaching the ceiling. His hand is bigger than you when it reaches down. When you try to swing out and knock it off, the space between your shoulder and your chest feels terribly itchy, and you stop.

The world tilts further, all the colors bleeding together. Haha, bleeding. Your mouth cracks open in a silent laugh, but nobody can see it behind your mask. It’s custom, purple. You thought about the flowery yellow one, but that was too much. Too much. Everyone calls you flower now anyway, crawling behind your heels all the way up out of town.

Your bouquet is on the floor. You try turning to snag it, but Dr. Habit’s pointy fingers pin you down like wings to a spreading board.

“Don’t’ you know better than to run with sizzors, Flower Child?” You laugh again, swirling and static. You do lots of things you shouldn’t, but where would you even get scissors?

He’s bending, a perfect arc of a spine. You notice he’s not looking at your face, so you look too.

The shears Trencil gave you stick from your shirt and hoodie, dug in your shoulder where your blood is hiding the flowers on the blades.

Oh.

Oops.

The pin-hands lift and then lift you. The stairs wobble. You wobble. Habit wobbles. You look at your hands, stained red and green, digging into blue. The fuzz of his jacket burns how the colors don’t. You try to unlock your fingers, but they stay where they are.

You laugh about the colors of cold and christmas. The world does another funny wobble, worse, and you watch your hair fall away from your eyes into orange staining blue from the jacket and the sky bleeding even more than you.

You inhale sweetness mixed with pickles overlaid by copper. The sweetness is normal, but not floral. Floor-al. The floor is blurring by above your head. The lighter blue edges of Habit’s coat is easier to stare at, though it means you can’t ask about the smells. You deliver flowers, not sandwiches. Hey, Habit, hey, Doctor, his eyes are triangles fixed forward when you try to look down to catch his attention.

PSA music curls into your ears. You look for the camera, but you left it on the floor. You need to tell Mirphy so she can pick it up. You look for the puppet, but you don’t see the right mouth saying words.

“Stupid littol flower” and “curfew” and “not supposed to bleed before teeth’re out” are a few things you hear before your stomach does a flip just a little after the rest of you does. Now you’re pressing down on a bed that has armrests you smash an elbow on and smells even worse.

You drag your tongue back into your mouth.

“Now, you can Let go alreaddy.” You can’t talk, so he’s the one who says that, but you don’t. Won’t. Can’t. There’s no point, you’re used to the fuzziness now that your flowers are missing.

“Clinginess won’t help you get a legup in life, Flower Child! And, it wont help you at ALL right now!!! Look at the mess you made,” he points, which you can’t see, since it’s on the floor and the floor’s blocked out by white.

Thump heartbeat, and your feet match it. His offended smile stretches too far across his face, and he laughs at your staring.

He tells you things then. A lot of things you probably shouldn’t know, some things he says he was going to wait to tell you for the Big Event, which you don’t quite gather most of. Martha and smiles and fixing the world, which you are distinctly not helping with, but isn’t he a grand fellow not letting you bleed out on the floor even though you’re such a problem in the Habitat.

His sharp fingers finally pry yours off. You static-hiss and nab the next thing you can with only one arm (and when did the other one stop doing what you wanted and didn’t want?) like a fuzzy pillow, which is his hair. Acceptable.

He screeches. Acceptable to you. You would tell him a lot of things, but with preoccupied hands and a covered mouth, you can’t, and actually, no you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t tell him anything. You would laugh and smile and tell him you’re going to be a worse problem now.

Your eyes are big, you’re looking at everything, you’re not a doctor, you’re here for the air. You breathe in and it’s disgusting.

The walls are orange-blue-black static, words and smiles doing a samba and trying to be flowers and tasting like pickles and glass. You fell, but you’re just sitting here.

“You! Get OFF me, get off get off off off you little flower-cavity!! You have teeth 2 lose and a stupid plant tool in Your shoulder and my hair isn’t for YOU you nasty unsmiley brat!”

A tooth. A tooth in your shoulder. That’s not where teeth go, you know that much.

And him, he wants a tooth. Teeth. Smiles for him, by him.

You let go of the hair and you go for the tooth in your flowering shoulder.

He blurs away. Too slow despite the speed, and when he’s back you’re already done. Here, Doctor, a gift to make a smile, uprooted by your own hands to give right to him. 

*

You wake up in your yee-hawing bed. There’s no PSA, which is unusual, though you can’t say you mind. God, your head hurts. And so does a good chunk of your torso.

There are bandages on your shoulder, which is more unusual. For a moment you’re dismayed when you turn to look, spotting your bouquet beneath the window and the absolute shreds it’s in, but then you spy it’s mostly just pulled apart and the paper is ruined, not anything inside.

Your mouth is dry. It’s fine, though, which is…normal?

Why wouldn’t it be?

Last night must’ve been a terrible break in curfew with how awful you’re feeling. 

You roll onto your good side. There’s cheering to do, but there are plenty of days to come, as the smiling doctor said, which you figure is true enough.

You’ll work it all out later.

[secondgame00-blog]

Nocturnal Cravings At The Nighthawk Diner, Chippendale

An American style diner food in the heart of Sydney? The Nighthawk Diner serves up fried green tomatoes, fried chicken steaks, gumbo and pie in a modern diner setting. All with a giant screen playing classic movies like Raiders of the Lost Ark!

It's bucketing down with rain and hail on the night of our visit. But when Viggo messages me to ask if we are still going out for dinner, my response is "Rain schmain, we are still on!". Nighthawk Diner started as a food truck serving up burgers, fries and Cuban sandwiches. They named the food truck and diner after Edward Hopper's famous oil painting "Nighthawks". Nighthawk Diner's chef Alistair Fogg lived in North America for much of his 20s and has held various jobs such as a diamond digger, superyacht chef and taxi driver but always came back to cheffing.

We take a seat in the movie room which is spacious but I look over longingly at a blue booth and ask to move there. "Have booth, will sit," is my motto. Service is friendly from our American waiter. Comically, there's a miscommunication and everything arrives at once (we ordered two starters and four mains and two sides between the four of us).

There's a look of hushed silence before Viggo says uncertainly, "Is there more food coming out?" while the couple next to us look upon us with a combination of horror and fascination as every surface of our table is covered with food or drink. "Let's just move the sauces shall we?" says Louise trying to make room.

Boozy Shake $16

There is a list of classic cocktails as well as an option for a regular and a boozy shake. I wanted a breakfast cocktail (there's an all day breakfast menu too) but unfortunately they're out of protein balls. Louise is frazzled because she has just spent almost 2 hours driving across the Harbour Bridge in delays because of an accident so she needs a stiff drink. There are two types of shakes that they can make boozy shake: an Oreo or a salted caramel one and she opts for the former with a shot of whatever takes your fancy. In this case it's bourbon. It's delicious and I end up trying quite a bit of it (tipsy, moi?). It's rich but there is just the right amount of bourbon in this.

Miami Cuban Sandwich $17

I tossed up whether to get the Miami Cuban sandwich which I've had at the food truck and really enjoyed because the menu is quite extensive and there were other things I wanted to try but Viggo and Mr NQN were total enablers, convincing me that they also should try it. The soft hoagie roll is filled with slices of citrus pork, maple smoked bacon, house made pickles, American cheese and chipotle mayo. There's a certain gloriousness to a meal whose only vegetable involves a pickle. Your brain says, "This won't be healthy" but your mouth says "Hell yeah".

Fried Green Tomatoes $15

I have only had fried green tomatoes served in a very rich way which is breaded and fried with a thick country style gravy. This is a fresher version with four crumbed and fried slices of green or unripe tomato on a bed of sweet corn puree with a wild rice succotash and the freshness of a peach and jalapeño sauce.

Nachos in a Bag $10 and pork $4

I remember having a Fritos pie when in Chicago and this is a larger version made with corn chips instead of Fritos. It's a bag split open with the corn chips topped with Nighthawk cheese sauce and red salsa. We also added some pork for good measure because Viggo couldn't eat the gumbo and he loves pork. The pork comes in large shredded chunks - perhaps smaller pieces would be good for better distribution over the corn chips and ratios. Because you know I think about this stuff a lot.

Fried Chicken Steak $26

And then comes one of my favourite dishes. And when they set it down I think my eyes bulged out of my head cartoon style at its sheer size. It's an enormous buttermilk marinated boneless chicken breast (although seriously, it's like two or three chicken breasts in size). It is dipped in seasoned flour and then fried and then topped with a white country style gravy with plenty of ham. It's so rich and gloriously crunchy and creamy-an unashamed screw you to anyone suggesting a salad for dinner.

Louisiana Prawn and Chicken Gumbo $27

I also love the gumbo, a rich deeply flavoured stew made with prawns, chicken and Andouille sausage with herb ranch and a thick wedge of toasted sweet buttery cornbread on the side. The cornbread is spectacular - decidedly sweet but goes so well with this savoury stew.

Mash and Gravy $10

Viggo spotted the mash and gravy and wanted to try this as you don't often see the two together on a menu. "Would you like some potato with your butter?" he says spooning a creamy heap onto his plate. The brown country gravy is delicious with the buttery mash.

Cheesy Fries $9 + bacon $4 and Fried jalapenos $2

You'd think we had ordered enough but no we needed fries right? These are shoestring fries served with a house-made smoked cheese sauce to which we added some maple smoked bacon and fried jalapenos. Just because we are going for the full American experience here y'all. I would have loved some more cheese sauce on this.

Sundae Du Jour $16

It's dessert time. The sundae du jour is no shrinking violet and it's a soft serve with cream, a thick chocolate fudge Nutella sauce and deep fried Oreos. I'll just let that all sink in for a second. Yep, deep fried Oreos. And they're pretty damn good and remind me of going to the deep fried capital of the world, the Dallas State Fair where they deep fry butter, Thanksgiving dinners and cake.

Pie Du Jour $15

There was a peanut butter brittle pie that got me very excited because I love peanut butter. But we end up getting the last piece of pumpkin pie instead which while very smooth, spiced and delicious (not to mention an enormous slice) isn't quite scratching that peanut butter brittle itch that I was hoping for. Alas that will have to wait for another time because we could not fit another bite in!

So tell me Dear Reader, do you like American diner style food? Has all of your food accidentally arrived at the same time? And has rain or hail ever caused you to cancel plans?

This meal was independently paid for.

69 Abercrombie St, Chippendale NSW 2008 Tuesday to Saturday 11am–10pm Sunday 11am–4pm Monday Closed thenighthawk.com.au Phone: (02) 9319 0548

Source: http://www.notquitenigella.com/2018/09/25/nighthawk-diner-chippendale/