#you know that ‘cheer for my man or i will blow this building up’ meme?

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

I like the implication that, in what is basically Gearbox's own Bl3 AU, Tyreen respects Amara more than she respects her own twin brother. Like. For some reason Tyreen suddenly values the loyalty of a single cultist (those things she eats and views as disposable) more than gaining another set of Siren powers and ascending further to Godhood. It's really funny to me

She absorbs her brother and steals Lilith's powers and attempts to absorb the Destroyer in order to become a God, but no she draws the line at Amara because Amara had [checks notes] "loyalty and usefulness on the battlefield". Sorry, didn't realize those were things Tyreen values given she bleeds a shitton of her loyal battle forces dry like she's sucking down smoothies, but yeah OK.

Like. I KNOW. That this is just for the new body customizations. I GET IT. I know they needed to write up SOMETHING. but God damn it this made me laugh so hard like. They did the main story again. They did it fuckin AGAIN and they did it WORSE.

Because yeah in the actual game Amara is on our team and we can just kinda half hand-wave away the twins not going for her powers as a sort of "oh they never saw an opportunity they didn't wanna risk their plans" (totally ignoring Jakobs Manor with Troy because if you play as Amara, uh, Troy's got some self esteem issues picking monologuing over obtaining more siren powers given we know he can absorb the people in his phaselock cuz he does it to Tyreen) but now AMARA IS LITERALLY IN THE CULT, ON THEIR TEAM. If her loyalty is that goddamn notable that she becomes a holy avatar of Tyreen maybe just be like "hey, wanna do something cool for ur God Queen? Lemme have your powers to get to the Great Vault and you'll stand next to me when I open it". Boom loyal cultist has been SUCKERED into giving up her powers FOR FREE. And if Amara would've been like "oh hell no" and left after Tyreen asked for her powers why is Amara okay with Tyreen and Troy stealing OTHER Sirens powers. Not to mention that Tyreen would not even need to ask for the powers, just sneak up behind Amara n take them, it's not like she'd be on guard 24/7 because she joined the CoV OF HER OWN VOLITION.

But nah we just uh let her keep her powers because um. She's loyal and strong. Like all of our other cultists. Yeahhhh. LMAO. Ah God. It's so bad. The others aren't great either (Zane swaps from trying to hide in the CoV to being a bandit leader solely because his relatives were bandit leaders like can I get a yikes from all my siblings with shitty relatives), but Amara's really got to me as I was thinking it through.

The other 3 don't need 'divine intervention' from the twins when they join the cult so they can slip under their radar, but Amara definitely fucking does as a God damn SIREN and that's where it went wrong. Like, again, I know it's just so we can have these new cosmetics and shouldn't be taken that seriously but ahhhhh it's so laughable fhhagshdkdhhfk like yeah you'll be our... Uh... holy... avatar..? Yeah sure that. You'll survive if you stay with us, Siren [wink wink]

They could've just said something like 'the twins are letting Amara keep her powers for now to lull her into a false sense of security until they need/yoink them later' or some shit and idve been like oh sick boom case closed this cosmetic is just from before they take them. But instead they say Tyreen allows Amara to keep her powers because she's loyal and good at fighting. Bitch you'd be good at fighting too if you took Amara's powers and added them to your own set.

In fact now I'm just disappointed we never heard of Tyreen or Troy when they had their powers going down with the masses of cultists to fight. No vlog footage of them livestreaming combat from their perspective like Maya does in a video call from Athenas.

It kinda makes them seem like they can't do anything by themselves (all we see them do is sneakily steal vault monsters after we do all the hard work, kill Maya completely by accident and intimidate a 12 year old, surprise attack us but only to monologue and get shot by an old man they can't even catch, then sneakily yoink Tannis. I guess they also steal Lilith's powers at the start of the game but that's... Well it's Lilith, the queen of shitty decisions who 100% could have teleported with the Vault Map instead of fighting, and the twins still had the element of surprise on their side to get the upper hand) which really undermines the whole thing they're trying to build up with Sirens being stupid powerful and them being the Main Villains of a shooter video game.

At least with Jack we were told up front that he was a coward and wouldn't fight fair or directly if he could help it by angel herself. The start of the game he tries to blow us up on a train with a cocky sign, not fight us head on. Meanwhile the twins are all like "nooo we're unkillable gods" and everyone we meet is like "noooo they're terrifying cult leaders" and they go after Lilith to take her powers by surprising her with Troy being a Siren (?) and then we don't ever see them actually, really FIGHTING again until their final boss fights where we kill them. Making it come across like they probably only ever got lucky in combat instead of using their skill sets.

They don't even have to be on the battlefield when the VHs are fighting, but imagine calling ahead to another planet and instead of seeing yet another bunch of nameless cultists killing people, you saw Tyreen and Troy doing their own thing with their Siren abilities while the CoV took care of stragglers. Literally anything to make them feel intimidating instead of noise machines. Like damn. Imagine if they showed Troy doing his orb sword rock attacks in-game to kill a bunch of civilians with guns before we fought him. Or wait was him actually getting that power cut along with the explanation for the Vault of the Architects 😩

Idk I'd like to imagine instead of their shitty meme videos that play on repeat on eden-6 even though they're both dead god damn it turn the fucking videos OFF there are compilations of kills by Tyreen having both Phaseleech and Phasewalk on the battlefield. Troy with Phaselock executing people with his giant sword while cultists cheer him on while swarming other people. Let them have mlg pro sound effects and editing and shitty dubstep if you must BUT AT LEAST WE'D HAVE REASON TO BE LIKE "oh shit, we're about to fight these guys how will we survive against those attacks" instead of "oh, finally, I get to shut them the hell up". It'd be terrifying, but so cool to see and would really build up the boss fights at the end of the game in general. Especially Tyreen's, seeing all her sweet Abilities and combos, teleporting behind people and insta killing them anime style, maybe gaining new ones by combining Phaseleech and Phasewalk together into some twisted amalgamation of powers. Wow. That'd be great.

[remembers the disappointment of Tyreen the Destroyer and her not even absorbing thrown grenades to kill us with them as she previously showed she was 100% capable of that] sigh. [wipes it from his memories] like it's so sad Tyreen just spontaneously combusts at the end of Bl3, imagine the awesomeness of fighting a Siren with 2 sets of siren powers at once who then, out of desperation in the final phase of her fight, absorbs a space abomination and becomes one herself because she's not giving up her dream that easily. Wow.

I'm rambling now lol. This whole "Amara is definitely still a Siren but don't think about it" situation just makes me laugh and I wanted to talk about it because it's borderlands why else. Just imagining Amara showing up immediately after Tyreen takes Lilith's powers and Tyreen going like "yup not taking those powers she's chill I like her" and then turning around and absorbing her brother instead is just. Comedic gold.

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hii! May i ask for a slice of cake? (If you can ofc)

So im a INFP-T virgo im also 4"11 i have dark brown hair it because wayy lighter near the sun. Also dark brown eyes my hair is cut kinda like a shag like the front is cut but the back isn't (bc of my parents) my style is grunge ig? Im very inlove with fairy style Smm but because im broke i cant really fulfil my love for that style (also probably because of my parents). My body is???? Okay my boobies are medium size and no unfortunately I don't have a fat ass 😕 im not chubby but at the same time im not skinny. Like the most fat goes to my tummy I get rolls when I sit down bath blah you get my point (im pretty insecure about it lolol). One of my two main dreams is to study abroad and become an interior decorator.

I dont know how to describe my personality but I will try. My best friend always tells me that my sense of humour is downhill BAD. I would laugh at the dumbest shit ever for example i laughed one of those pixilated bugs pics with random names on the bottom 💀 also I laugh at my own trauma and stuff that shouldn't be laughed at. I kinda have anger issues 😕 I get unmotivated pretty easily. I rant to my best friend alot and she says that im ✨depressed✨ and have ✨anxiety✨ and that i need therapy. Im scared to rant to my parents because im "too young and its just my hormones". Something that I found out about myself this year is i have chill tics 😦 (from anxiety). Outside im nice and sweet but on the inside my mind is just saying other things. Im SOMETIMES cold and say what's on my mind but thats to my close ones like my mom dad or friends. I dont lie going Outside alot I think school is kinda useless. I like to draw and listen to music my fav artist are mother mother and mitski.

I hope i didn't say TOO much anyway thank youu I hope you have/had a great day :)

🍰 for @shotosimp2

Romantic Matchup

Oikawa Tooru

How yall met

Ok im ngl

Y'all had know clue who each other were

Well that's a lie

Of course you knew who Oikawa was

But you just didn't care

Now Oikawa always saw you around school

You know...in the school uniform

But one day

He saw you outside of school in all of your grunge glory

And apart of him was like bitch wtf

And the other was like ok queen i see you 😗

So he approached you and complimented your outfit

And you said thanks and then ran off to wherever you were heading

Wait

You just said thanks???

No fan girling????

Not even a blush??????

Nothing????????????

OIKAWA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

Ok he would understand that reaction if you were just a stranger on the street

But you went to school with him?

So you had to know who he was right?

Yeah my mans had a whole ass crisis because you didn't have a bigger reaction

The next day he went to Iwa and told him about his interaction with you

And he was just like not everyone was to like you ya know

Oikawa: >:o

Then Iwa had a brilliant idea

Get this

Maybe

Oikawa should BEFRIEND you before expecting you to want to talk to him

Wild theory I know

So now Oikawa had a new goal

Befriending you

It actually wasn't that hard since you both had a lot of classes together

Soon enough you guys became close friends

And oikawa was happy with just being your friend

At least...he thought he was

But everything changed when you told him you were going to study abroad for 3 months

And even though you had each others numbers

Everything without you just seemed so dull

Omg

Did he really have feelings for you?

The more time that passed by the more he was sure that he liked you

Like LIKED liked you

So the day you came back to Japan is when he confessed to you

And well you'd be lying if you said you hadn't caught feelings for him too

So you said yes

What they love about you

He loves how normal you treat him

Now hell admit when he first met you he kinda wanted you to treat him like a celebrity

Expected it even

But the more time he spent around you

The more he realized how much he liked being treated normally

Ok screw what your friend says

He loves your humor!

Yall will laugh at the dumbest shit

If we were to look at you and Oikawa's messages

85% of it would be dumb ass memes

And honestly

This boy makes jokes about his trauma too

“Hey Y/N you wanna hear a joke?”

“Sure”

“My existence”

“...”

“...”

“Ayyyyy”

“Ayyyyy”

He loves how easy it is to talk to you

Like he's told you things he hasn't even told Iwa before

And Iwa is his CHILDHOOD BESTIE

So yeah

Trust between you two

ASTRONOMICAL

What you love about them

You love how supportive he is

If you say you wanna do something

He is right behind you cheering you on

You could tell him you want to commit arson

And he'd just be like

Period queen ill bring the gasoline 💅

You can always count on this man to be in your corner

Speaking of

You can always count on oikawa period

Which is another thing that you love about him

If oikawa is anything

He is a man of his word

If he says hes gonna do something

You know he's gonna do it

He's just overall a really reliable person

You love how he just seems to motivate you to do better

Fr after you guys started dating your grades went

Partly because you felt like you needed to compete with him

But mostly because he just motivates and pushes you to do better

And if you do improve on something

He is HYPING you up

“That's my baby! I knew you could do it!”

Favorite things to do together

Yall love to just go to the store and window shop

Im sorry but yall are some broke hoes

So most of the time it's just you guys trying on clothes in the dressing room

Taking pictures of your outfits

Then leaving

Yeah the store employees kinda hate you…

But who cares what they think

And if you two do have some pocket cash you'll buy one or two things

Then blow the rest of your money on that good mall food

Cause why not

Random Hc

He makes fun of your guys height difference ALL THE TIME

But like, can you blame him????

You're not even 5 feet tall!!!

“Imagine being the size of a 10 year old, couldn't be me”

Imagine being taller than the national average height 😐, couldn't be me”

“Touche”

He let you dress him up as an E-Boy ONCE

Ngl tho he dug the eyeliner look 😗

He called you every day while you were studying abroad

He even sent you a oikawa plushie

You may or may not have sent him a video of you drowning it

When you came back to Japan he legit TACKLED you in the middle of the airport

Astrology

Virgo + Cancer

Compatibility 80%

Cancer and Virgo can have a wonderful connection and are usually brought together by sexual understanding.

The main problem of their relationship is in the possible conflict between emotional Cancer and reasonable Virgo.

If they manage to overcome this, accepting each other’s shortcomings and learning to incorporate some rationality or some emotion into their lives, they could end up in an inspiring relationship that will last for a very long time.

In a way, they complement each other as much as the heart complements the mind.

If they share a spark of love, it would be a shame to miss the opportunity for happiness just because of someone’s irrational expectations or someone’s closed heart.

If someone can help Virgo build their trust, it is their Cancer partner.

Although Cancer is a cardinal sign, they are stable by nature, especially when it comes to emotional decisions they have made.

If they have chosen Virgo to be their loving partner, they will have no reason to lie or cheat.

This behavior would only endanger their vision of a shared life and a loving family they want with the partner they chose.

This is also a reason why Cancer won’t have an initial problem with trusting Virgo.

Their convictions are stronger than their doubt.

Overall Aesthetic

Grunge Glamour ✨

Songs -

Tia tamera (Doja Cat)

Verbratem (mother mother

Literal Legend (Ayesha Erotica)

Hayloft (mother mother)

Stupid (ashnikko)

[theherothechampiontheinquisitor]

Love, Rhodey

A “Love, Simon” AU

Rated G 

Tony Stark/James Rhodes

Summary: After being outed at school, Rhodey takes his life and potential relationship with his anonymous pen pal, Blue, into his own hands. He tells Blue and the world that he loves him and to meet him on the Ferris Wheel at the winter carnival if he feels the same.

OR

A Love, Simon AU - Where Rhodey is Simon and Tony is Blue.

Read it on AO3

—

The smell of corn dogs, popcorn and funnel cake continued permeating the cool February night air. 

Rhodey sat waiting on the ferris wheel, going around the giant loop for what felt like the hundredth time. Up and down the ferris wheel went, Rhodey’s friends cheering and clapping with every rotation. Their little crowd grew larger as more people probably saw his impulsive tumblr post, declaring his love for someone he had probably never even met before. Most probably came out to gawk and see if he was going to get his heartbroken in public or at the very least get the scoop on who the other gay kid was. 

God. The other gay kid. 

He was still getting used to being out. He had been hiding this part of himself for so long, constantly fearing that he would say something or do something that would give himself away. He didn’t know what that could be, he was still Rhodey afterall and his sexuality didn’t change that. 

He still wanted to go to MIT and eventually join the Air Force. He still put “Africa” by Toto on repeat in the mornings when he picked up his friends to annoy them, drank more coffee than any teenager should and secretly loved trashy daytime talk shows. 

It was like his mother had told him. He could breath now. He was finally able to be more of himself than he had been able to be in the last four years, and he would continue being this way whether Blue showed up tonight or not. But he really, really hoped that he did. 

What could he say? He was in love. 

“He’ll show up,” his little sister Thea told him that morning as she forced him to try her special Blueberry pancakes that he knew were not a coincidence. 

“Yeah, how do you know that?”

She smiled at him and added a couple extra blueberries on top. “Cause you’re the nicest, coolest person around. He’d be an idiot not to show and you wouldn’t love him if he were an idiot.”

Rhodey wished he held her same optimism but he couldn’t deny the warmth that flowed through his body at his sister’s absolute certainty.

So, here he sat, going around for the nth time, the anxiety in his stomach building with every loop that Blue didn’t show. 

Carol, Sam and Natasha still cheered whenever they saw him but even Rhodey could tell that their enthusiasm was waning, their faces growing more concerned as they spoke in harsh whispers as the ride made its way back up. 

The crowd around them had grown more quiet too. The hooting and teasing tapering off until they all looked at him with outright pity.

Maybe Blue didn’t see his post. He had deleted his gmail account, maybe he deleted all of his social media in an effort to continue hiding away, removing all possible traces that could link them back to each other somehow. But EVERYONE had read that blog post. 

When he walked into school this morning, backpack slung across his shoulder he knew there were people looking at him and whispering. He caught snatches of conversation. 

“Do you think he will show up?”

“That was so brave…”

“I wish someone talked about me the way Jim does about Blue.”

So, even if he had willingly ignored all social media, there was no way that he had been able to ignore the entire school talking about it. But what if that had frightened him off further?

Blue was very nervous. He had finally come out to his father over the holidays and he said it went well but Rhodey knew that coming out privately and coming out in a major social setting is an entirely different can of worms. Maybe the attention still was freaking him out and making him hide?

Or worse yet. What if Blue, having found out who he was, was no longer interested in him like that? What if he was disappointed in the guy he had been trading emails with the last six months? 

It was real easy to come up with all kinds of preconceived notions and dispositions over email. Rhodey was even guilty of imagining Blue as some larger than life personalities at the school, anytime someone so much as shared a similar interest or taste as Blue had. He had done it with Tony when he mentioned how much he loved Halloween Oreos, he had done it with Steve when he found out he was going out of town for christmas to “the middle of nowhere,” and he even had done it to poor, quiet Bruce for being interested in showtunes. 

So, what if Blue himself had hyped Rhodey up in his mind and couldn’t stand to reconcile that image with the truth? 

That would hurt more than anything.

Not being good enough.

With everything that they had shared with each other, Rhodey didn’t want to go through that kind of rejection, especially from Blue. He wouldn’t be able to take it. 

Rhodey flinched as the ferris wheel came to a halting stop, his basket rocking back and forth in front of the platform.

“Sorry, kid, that’s the end of the ride. You’re out of tickets.”  The ride operator actually looked at him with pity as he made his way forward to unlock the basket.

The crowd made various disappointing sounds and murmurs, cell phones being put down, no longer recording the spectacle because it was just too pathetic to watch someone get rejected so publicly. 

“WAIT!” A voice shouted and the crowd began to part.

Rhodey felt his heartbeat pick up, pounding in his chest, hoping that this was finally it. That Blue had finally shown up. He was taken aback when he saw Clint push his way through and leaping onto the platform, bent over and panting from the exertion.

“It’s me, Jim. I am Blue and I love you so very much.”

The crowd gasped looking back and forth between each other in shock. Had Clint’s disastrous Homecoming proposal to Natasha all been some kind of weird and twisted front to hide his sexuality?

Rhodey rolled his eyes and sighed. 

“No, you’re not Clint.”

Clint’s face squinted up in pain and he sighed as well. “You’re right, I’m not, but this is just so brutal it makes what I did look like a roaring success.”

“‘Is there a point to this?”

“Oh yeah! Yes! Look, let me pay for one last go. I owe you this at least.”

“The very least,” Rhodey mumbled as Clint turned toward the carnie and handed him a wad of bills.

“That’s enough right? For one last go?” The man nodded his head and Clint turned back to Rhodey and tapped him lightly on the shoulder with his fist. “Go get ‘em tiger!” 

He actually had the audacity to wink at him.

“Don’t touch me, Clint.”

“Oh right,” he laughed sheepishly and faded back into the waiting crowd.

The ride operator rolled his eyes and turned to the group of young people. “Last call for the ferris wheel….”

The crowd had gone deadly silent. In the distance Rhodey could hear the sound of the screams of people on the rollercoaster as it went around a loop. Music was playing somewhere and game masters called out to passerby’s that this might be their lucky night.  

“I can’t watch this. This is too awful,” Sam murmured and hid his face behind his hand.

Natasha shoved his shoulder in annoyance but even she glanced over at Carol with a grimace, wondering what they were going to do if this really was it and Blue didn’t show.

Rhodey huffed and laid his head down on the safety bar. He couldn’t watch this anymore. He should just get up and go home, hide under his blankets and not come out until graduation. Even then he might not. Maybe not until it was time to pack up and move it to Boston in the fall. This will have blown over by then right?

Images flooded his mind of all the memes and sad gifs that would be generated from this night, going viral, following him to Boston, following him to the Air Force. He would never make officer, never be able to pilot a plane without someone taping a picture of his sad face, sitting alone on this stupid carnival ride in the freezing cold. 

“I’d like a ride, if it’s not too late.”

Rhodey’s head shot up and the crowd gasped again, but it was different from when Clint had come bursting his way through in desperation. No, Rhodey knew this voice, and it held the same nervous trepidation to it that always came through whenever he would hide and read his emails. 

Blue.

“Oh my god, it’s Tony!” Rhodey heard Carol gasp to Natasha with a sense of wonderment.

And there he stood at the edge of the platform, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet in nervous anticipation. His hair was mussed where it looked like he had been running his hands through it constantly, his hands shoved into the front pocket of his dark blue hoodie. 

It took a minute for Rhodey’s mouth to catch up with his mind, sitting up fully and scooting over a little bit.

“Um. You know I’m waiting for someone right?”

Tony offered him a small smiled and cocked his head to the side, “Yeah, I know.”

Stunned Rhodey scooted over completely and Tony came and sat in the basket beside him. They were both not very tall or big people but still their thighs brushed against each other in the confined space and Rhodey felt a rush of warmth from where they touched. 

He hazarded a glance back at his friends and they were all wide eyed and smiling.  Carol shooting him a thumbs up and blowing a kiss. Rhodey could feel his cheeks start to burn and turned back to Tony beside him. 

Tony was watching him with a shy intensity from underneath those long lashes. Rhodey met his gaze and they both smiled again as the carnival operator finished locking the basket and moved to start the ride one last time. 

“It’s you,” Rhodey said wondrously. 

“It’s me,” Tony replied softly, a nervous huff of laughter coming out with his confirmation.

Rhodey couldn’t believe that one of his hunches had actually been right. This whole time it had been Tony that he had been baring his soul to.The same Tony that stole french fries off his plate at lunch, and helped everyone with their homework because he was taking all of the advanced placement classes and probably should have been skipped ahead to college long ago, and liked to build robots and gadgets. The same Tony that loved Halloween Oreos and threw big Halloween parties  at his house when his parents were out of town.

The same Tony that had teamed up with him to crush everyone at beer pong that night and sing karaoke with. That he had worked up the courage in the mirror to ask if he was Blue, to come out to him so that he could finally kiss him senseless like he had wanted to the entire party, until he had walked in on him half naked with Pepper that is. 

“But that night at the party?”

Tony ducked his head and Rhodey could see the blush spreading across his face as he smiled and scrunched up his face. God he was adorable.

“Yeah, I was drunk, and confused. I still thought that this was something that I could change but I can’t force myself to be something that I’m not. Pepper is my best friend and honestly it ended like a few minutes after you saw us.” He shook his head to clear his mind, remembering that evening with some embarrassment. “I couldn’t do it.  It’s not who I am.”

Rhodey understood what Tony was saying. There had been a time when he too thought that he could just will himself to behave and think a certain way so that he could be “normal.” 

“And you’re Jewish too?” Rhodey asked with a grin, remembering his unorthodox Hanukkah excursion with his father when he had come out.

Tony laughed. “Half-Jewish. And barely even that. I think my dad is afraid that Grandma will come back from the grave for him if we don’t at least try to honor tradition during the holidays.”

“And you’re white,” Rhodey joked this time dispelling any of the remaining awkward tension.

“I am,” Tony grinned again and it was contagious. Rhodey found himself wanting nothing more than to press those soft lips to his own.

“Guess you can’t have everything.”

And god there it was that same laugh from that night at the party when they cackled their whole way through “I Got You Babe” by Sonny and Cher. Rhodey’s heart was pounding with anticipation as they reached the top of the ferris wheel and came to a stop.

“I didn’t think you were coming,” Rhodey said softly and brushed the tips of his fingers against where Tony’s rested on his thigh. Tony reciprocated the touch.

“‘I didn’t either. I didn’t know what I was going to do until I started walking towards you. This whole time I finally realized that I have been worrying and focusing so much on how everyone else would react and what everyone else expected of me. I was denying myself the opportunity be who I really am and to have what I really want.”

Tony senses that he has been rambling and tucks his chin in a bit again. Rhodey doesn’t say anything, just takes in everything he can about this amazing guy beside him.

Tony’s voice comes out in a quiet whisper, his dark eyes darting to look anywhere but directly at Rhodey. 

“Are you disappointed that it’s me?”

Rhodey would have laughed in his face if he thought that Tony wouldn’t have immediately taken it the wrong way. How could this perfect man sit here beside him after Rhodey had spilled his guts online and to everyone he knew about how much he was in love with him? And that had been before he knew it was Tony. Knowing who he was now…his heart was close to bursting.

He couldn’t believe that just a few minutes before, Rhodey had been the one worrying that he himself was not good enough.

Rhodey reached his hand out to catch Tony’s cheek. His thumb gently brushed against his jawline where patchy attempt at a beard was trying to come through, Tony’s eyelids fluttering involuntarily beneath the touch.

“How could you ever disappoint me?”

The sincerity in Rhodey’s voice had Tony’s lower lip trembling as he turned his head to the side and started to clear the distance between them. Rhodey’s lips met his halfway and they both smiled into the kiss as the crowd down below let out a whooping cheer. 

Tony pulled back first, his eyes still halfway shut, unable to keep the absolute bliss off of his face.

“I steal clothing. You laugh but I’m serious. Hoodies, shirts, hats. They will all become mine. I drink a ridiculous amount of coffee, I can stay awake for days when I have an idea I want to work on. I only watch cheesy 90’s action movies and B science fiction. There is no in between. AC/DC is my idea of relaxing music. I am entirely over affectionate once you get to know me and I am prone to hyperverbality.” 

Rhodey chuckled lightly to himself at the last one, as if he couldn’t see that here and now for himself but he thought Tony’s ramblings were precious. 

Tony continued to rattle off all of these things, watching Rhodey’s face for any sign of disapproval but all that he seemed to find was careful amusement that grew with each potential flaw he listed.

“Is that supposed to scare me away? If anything it’s honestly making me love you even more.” Rhodey said, cutting off his flow of words.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Rhodey said and cupped Tony’s face in his hands again and brought him back to his lips again. 

The kiss this time was longer, their lips pressed together and Rhodey knew that he would never get over how soft Tony’s lips felt against his. Rhodey moved a hand from Tony’s cheek to curl around the hair at the nape of his neck, soft curls sliding through his fingertips as Tony gripped the front of his t-shirt. He moaned softly against him, pulling back for a breath and then diving in for more, tongue brushing against Rhodey, begging for entrance.

They broke apart when the ferris wheel lurched back to life, grabbing each other’s shoulders in support as the basket rocked with motion. 

The ride operator looked a little red in the face as they made their descent and they both busted out with laughter having almost entirely forgotten where they were and who all could see them.

Rhodey stole one more kiss before the ride reached the bottom and wrapped an arm around Tony’s small shoulders to bring in close to his side. 

Coming out had been incredibly difficult and oftentimes painful, especially having been outed against his will. He didn’t think that he would ever forgive Clint for stealing his voice like that, but after mourning what was and trying to navigate this new world where now everyone knew that he was gay, Rhodey took the control back.

He laid waste to everyone’s gossip and preconceived notions as to who he ought to be and instead, fully embraced who he really was. 

All of that led him to this moment. 

To this night, on this ferris wheel with this man.

Tonight was the first night that Rhodey could say that he was finally  able to sit back and let himself breathe like his mother told him he could.

He ran a hand through Tony’s hair and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head and felt him sigh against his chest.

This was where he was meant to be and who he was meant to be with, and he couldn’t wait to finally start living the next part of his life without the old fear that had always held him back.

They would navigate this new world together. 

[negasonicimagines]

The House that Blows Up Every Few Years

request: Hey! Love your writing! Would you mind writing a Yukisonic x reader where the reader saves one of them from being terribly injured and the other two don’t know what to do cuz they don’t know if reader will make it and they reminisce a bit about when reader made them happy during hard times?

notes: Reader doesn’t save either, but tries to… Everyone lives, but you’ll understand what I mean. This one’s a doozy, at around 2.9k words.

warnings: domestic terrorism, housefire, near-death, hospital, wounds/scars.

The first thing you do after waking up to the smell of smoke is wake up your girlfriend. Ellie may be fireproof, but she’s not immune to smoke inhalation. The two of you grab your go bags and make a swift escape, following the rest of the people in your hallway to your station outside.

As you hear whispers of a bombing, you realize your other girlfriend, Yukio, isn’t at her station.

“She’s not there,” you say to your girlfriend, stomach dropping. “She’s not there.” Without another thought, you super-speed into the school before you can be stopped. Ellie goes after you, but is held back by teachers and staff. She fights them, yelling about Yukio, about you.

Hours that could be minutes pass by and though students are supposed to face away from the school, she and everyone else are staring. She watches as you flit past the windows, but then your form disappears. She watches the door, hoping you’ve gone downstairs, where there are less windows.

Eventually, Logan, Wade, and other assorted mutants who can withstand the fire filter out of the building. Ellie thinks you’re not with them until she notices that Wade’s got someone slung over his shoulder. You.

“Oh god!” she wails, but runs to the first aid station already set up by the authorities. Wade carries you over to the cot she’s closest to, and someone qualified begins working on you, doing CPR on you. “W-Where’s Yukio? She was looking fo Yukio?” Ellie shakes as she asks her question, one she realizes is dumb, while they are actively trying to resuscitate you.

“Why was she looking for Yukio? Yukio was out back, she had an impromptu sleepover with Jubilee,” Wade asks, confused.

“Yukio- She- She wasn’t at her station up front,” Ellie trembles. “Y/N just went in there, without a thought, to get to her… I- I…” She’s too stunned to cry, at least right now. Too stunned to be angry at Yukio, at least right now.

“And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why sleepovers are technically against the rules here. We have too many disasters between the old house, everyone’s old enemies, and anti-mutant organizations like the one that bombed us tonight for anyone to be unaccounted for,” Logan interjects.

“Even I know it’s not the time, dude,” Wade remarks, and Ellie doesn’t reject his comfort when he gives her a hug, letting her turn her head to keep an eye on you.

“As you can see by the soot near her nostrils and the bluish tint to her skin, your friend here is suffering from smoke inhalation. She’s breathing now, but we’ll have to take her to the hospital. What all can you tell us about her? Any allergies or other medical history we should know about? Conditions that may run in the family?” the EMT asks.

“Um, uh, she’s a mutant, uh, s-so she used her super-speed to get in and around there. She would’ve breathed a lot faster, so there m-might be- Y’know, with the inhalation, uh… I- I don’t know anything.” At this realization, the realization that you might die and she won’t know something as simple as if you have any allergies, she sobs into Wade’s chest. Your cot is lifted into the ambulance, and Wade releases Ellie, hopping in there before anyone can stop him.

The fire is finally put out, and the ambulance drives away. Ellie and Yukio sit together in one of the buses to the hotel.

“What happened? I heard Y/N got hurt, is she gonna be okay?” Yukio’s blissfully unaware, and this makes Ellie resent her even more. 

“If she dies, I will never forgive you,” Ellie informs her with a cold glare. Yukio didn’t think Ellie was capable of cold like that before now, only burning intensity with every single emotion.

“I don’t understand, what happened?”

“She was looking for you, you idiot!” Ellie shrieks, drawing the attention of everyone on the bus. “Because you weren’t at your station, and you failed to tell either of us where you were. Smoke inhalation kills way faster than the actual fire will. She’s barely alive.”

“What? She was- I- No, no, I- I- No…”  

Ellie just continues to glare, silent tears running down her cheeks as Yukio sobs into the empty seat in front of her where you should be. Ellie can almost see you, cracking jokes about how anti-mutant freaks are so stupid they can’t even bomb a building right, or how you’d wished they’d gotten someone you hated this time.

She realizes that she’s not honoring you very well by taking her frustration and fear out on the person who you tried to save.

“I’m- I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. She and I should’ve checked around before trying to go in. You- You’re not an idiot, you just wanted to hang out with your friend.”

“It’s my fault whether it was an accident or not,” Yukio admits, still crying, but she clings to Ellie now, who clings back as the ride continues.

When they get to the hotel, they share a bed, and Sally, Yukio’s roommate, gets one to herself. Normally, you’d be in the bed with them and Sally would jokingly beg you guys not to “do anything freaky.”

Ellie bitterly chuckles at the thought.

“What?” Yukio wonders. The two lay side by side, not even touching. Looking at the ceiling.

“Thinking about Sally asking us not to do anything freaky,” Ellie explains. “Remember when Y/N licked her own elbow in response and nearly dislocated her shoulder?”

Yukio giggles at the reminder, before remembering she’s not supposed to giggle while you’re fighting for your life.

“No, no, Y/N would want us to cheer up. Remember what she’d say, that dumbass meme? Keep your chin up, gamer, your headset is falling.”

“Our heads are on pillows,” Yukio retorts, being pouty and difficult in her near-grief.

“It’s a metaphor and you know it,” Ellie scoffs, knowing she has to step up and be the middle ground between herself and Yukio that you usually were. “Remember that time when she raced Pietro? And all the crazy stuff they did as tie-breakers?”

“She ended up losing because he proposed who could kiss their girlfriend faster as a challenge. He agreed she could choose just one of us, but she refused.”

“She chose you tonight,” Ellie chokes out.

“Baby, no…” Yukio reassures. “You know she thought she would get me out of there in no time, that we’d all be safe together… But I was so- So irresponsible. I’m so sorry,” Yukio breaks down again, overwhelmed by guilt.

Ellie’s phone rings, that stupid ringtone Wade programmed into it for himself when he got ahold of her phone while she was in gym.

Hey, it’s Wade, you need to pick up your fucking phone! Alexander Graham Bell didn’t invent this shit for texting, answer the call!

Ellie almost ignores it, but then remembers that Wade went with you and lunges toward the nightstand, ripping the charger out of her phone and answering, putting it on speaker.

“What’s going on, is she okay? Is she- Is she…?”

“She’s fine, Eleven. They’re gonna take some chest x-rays and whatnot tomorrow to make sure, but she’s alive, just sleeping.”

Ellie sighs in relief, ignoring Wade’s dumb nickname.

“Thank god,” Yukio weeps.

“No, thank Wade for getting her out,” Ellie corrects. “I- I owe you big time, dude.”

“Did you just… Say something nice about me? Wow, maybe- Nope. Not worth it,” Wade jokes, managing to get a chuckle out of Yukio and a smile from Ellie that he can’t see.

“We’ll be there tomorrow,” Ellie confirms, with a relieved sigh following.

“Great. See you then. Try to get some sleep, you don’t wanna be exhausted when you see her again.”

“Alright. Thanks again, man.”

“No problem.” Wade hangs up, and Ellie and Yukio lay back, unsure of how to sleep in the same bed without you. The two of them, between their electricity and fire abilities, produced too much heat to cuddle each other. You typically acted as a buffer between them, allowing them to be close to each other (and you) with no discomfort.

“Do you wanna hold hands?” Yukio offers.

“Mine are all sweaty,” Ellie admits.

“Mine too.”

They hold hands.

“Remember when Y/N went on that roller coaster with us? I think she was the most scared, she held our hands so tight.”

“Yeah. ‘It’s different when it’s me!’” Ellie playfully imitates you.

Yukio giggles. “She really is the best, isn’t she?”

“You’re both the best.”

“No, you’re both the best.”

“Maybe we’re all the best. That’s why we’re all together. No one else is worthy,” Ellie jokes.  

“Something like that,” Yukio replies. “I like remembering her. We should do it a lot more. Maybe tell her this stuff instead of assuming she knows it, ‘cause what if she had died and she didn’t know? What if she died because of me and she didn’t know that I love her, I love her so much…?” Her voice breaks a little bit.

“I love her too. And I love you.”

“I love you too. I miss her.”

“Me too,” Ellie agrees. “Remember when you two did that play together? What was it, uh…?”

“Little Shop of Horrors… She was adorable as Seymara. It was awesome that they let us gender-swap Seymour so we could play him and Audrey.”

“Well, your duet during auditions was amazing. I wish I would’ve tried out, I could’ve played a hobo, or Audrey 2. But I was too scared. Should’ve listened to Y/N.”

“We could all stand to listen to Y/N more,” Yukio reminds her girlfriend. “Oh, oh, remember when we saw The Nun and she got so scared at that one part that she ran out of the theater and back in at super-speed? We didn’t even know it happened until she told us after.”

Ellie finally laughs, at this. It was one of her favorite memories of you. You’d insisted on seeing the movie, but at the first jump-scare, you fled. However, you returned. Outside of the humor, that was Ellie’s favorite part: You came back and faced it.

“We should get to sleep, like Wade said,” Ellie suggests.

“Agreed. I love you. Goodnight. Sweet dreams, honey.”

“Goodnight. I love you, too. Sweet dreams, babe.”

Ellie doesn’t have sweet dreams. She dreams of the events of the night, but this time, you die. Wade holds a charred, smoldering body in his hands.

She lurches forward when she wakes up, still crying like she was in her dream.

“Baby, baby, sweetheart, what happened?” Yukio, already awake, rushes from the attached bathroom to Ellie’s side.

“It- It was last night, b-but Y/N died, and she was all burnt up, crumbling,” Ellie pants, sobs breaking up her breaths.

“Shh, shh… She’s okay, Y/N’s okay… We’re gonna see her today… Shhh…” Yukio repeats the sentiment, holding Ellie, who is sitting on the bed, to her and rocking back and forth steadily.

“What happened?” Sally asks sleepily, awoken by the commotion. “Did her, uh… Did her condition get worse?”

“She’s gonna be alright, Skids. Ellie just had a nightmare about what happened, that’s all.”

“Damn, that sucks. Tell Y/N I said to get well soon.” Sally goes back to sleep after saying this, and both Ellie and Yukio get ready to leave.

After this, they check in with Piotr and leave for the hospital, taking a cab there. They wait in the waiting room for visiting hours to begin, and Wade confirms at the desk that they’re allowed to see you.

Ellie and Yukio follow Wade down the halls to your room. You’re awake, sort of.

“Hey guys…” You give them the sleepiest, sweetest grin that makes it more than worth the wait.

“I’m gonna go steal some jello, B-R-B!” Wade announces, exiting swiftly after.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Ellie says, close to crying again.

“Hey, hey, none of that. Look, look… They tell me I’m gonna match Wade.” You hold up your leg, which is heavily bandaged, before letting it flop down on the bed, as if it’s too heavy to lift. Ellie realizes you must be under general anesthesia of some sort. It’d explain your grogginess.

“I’m sorry,” Yukio says. “I should’ve told you or Ellie about the sleepover, I-”

“Sleepover? Right, right, with Jubilee. Don’t blame yourself for me not sending you a text before running into a burning building. Damn, those anti-mutant freaks can’t even bomb a building right. There’s hundreds of people in there and the only person they managed to even injure is me. Damn it, why couldn’t they have gotten that shithead Quentin or something? I’m kidding, I’m kidding…”

Ellie laughs too hard, so glad to hear you make your twisted jokes that she’d usually scoff at, that Yukio would usually playfully scold you for.

“You- If I’d been in there, you would’ve saved my life. You thought I was in danger, and you just… Ran in, without even thinking. I’m- I’m so grateful,” Yukio says.

“Babe, of course. What else would I do?” You ask.

“I don’t know, stay safe and not be stupid?” Ellie mumbles. Now that she knows you’re okay, she can be angry at you for being so reckless.

“You ran after her too, jackass. I’m just faster,” you defend yourself with a scoff.

“Yeah, and you passed out due to smoke inhalation faster, too,” Ellie argues. You sigh.

“I’m not gonna apologize, Ellie,” you make it known. “I don’t regret going in there. What if she’d really been in there? What if someone else was? If I died in there, I wouldn’t have regretted it, because it was the right thing to do.”

“Forgive me if that sounds more suicidal than heroic,” Ellie says with a roll of her eyes, not even hinting at what a hurtful thing that was to say, considering her nightmare last night.

“Y/N,” Yukio scolds, though there’s no malice in her tone, just frustration. “You shouldn’t say things like that! Ellie just had a bad dream about you dying in the fire last night! She cried in her sleep and even after she woke up!”

“Yukio,” Ellie hisses. “You weren’t supposed to tell anyone.” So much for hiding it.

“Babe,” you fret, reaching out to stroke her cheek with your bandaged hand. She turns away at the sight of it, not letting you touch her. If she’d just been faster, maybe she could’ve helped you get out sooner, made you realize you couldn’t stay, that Yukio was somewhere else.

You can’t hide your expression of disappointment at her withdrawal.

“I’m happy you’re both okay, and I am sorry for worrying you and scaring you, just not for what I did,” you admit.

“Fine. I guess I can deal with that,” Ellie decides. She hates herself for being so selfish and afraid, and even hates you a little for not being those things as well. You could’ve stayed safe with her. You didn’t. You sacrificed your life for the potential of saving someone else’s, and you didn’t even regret it, despite only hurting yourself. “I just- You could’ve died.”

“Yeah, I could’ve, but I didn’t, so… Get over it,” you say. You’d tried to be patient, light-hearted, but between Ellie’s pushiness, your nausea from the anesthesia, and your overall exhaustion, it’s not easy to keep up. “It’s not like you almost died.”

“But didn’t I?” Ellie responds, the words almost silently slipping out of her mouth before she can stop them.

You sigh, reaching out to her again. She takes your hand this time, Yukio already holding your other and just watching, grateful to see you again after being so worried.

“I’m sorry we haven’t really chatted much other than arguing, but can I sleep some more?” you request. “You guys can stay in here if you don’t mind the increased potential for drooling and the fact that I might wake up and vomit, but I’m very drowsy.”

“Of course you can sleep, honey bunny. You need more rest so you can heal up faster,” Yukio agrees, while Ellie nods. You yawn before closing your eyes and trying to fall asleep.

You fail at this task, trying for minutes that felt like hours. You open your eyes, looking around. Ellie’s fallen asleep, still clutching your hand, but Yukio is awake, just watching both of you. Careful not to wake up your other girlfriend, you scoot away from Yukio, attempting to make a space for her. She squeezes in, your bodies eventually overlapping as you cuddle.

“I love you,” Yukio quietly says. “Last night, Ellie and I stayed up pretty late, just talking about you. Our worries about you, our favorite memories of you, what we love about you… It really helped us calm down, but I realized that we should be telling you these things that we appreciate about you, not just remembering them when you almost die.”

“Babe, you guys make me feel plenty appreciated.” It’s true. They give you lots of praise, and you them. Despite any other flaws in the relationship, that was a strong attribute of it.

“But- But still. What if you had died, not knowing exactly how much we love you? How much I love you?”

“Love, I promise I know. I love you two, too. Let’s just cuddle and try to relax. I’ve got an x-ray later.”

“Okay…” Yukio agrees, and once you’re in the safety of her arms, you both fall asleep.

Everything is gonna be okay.

[jejublr]

Super!Woozi

A/N: Did someone say Super!Woozi?? Because I’m here to deliver ;) omg Nat stop. I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG T^T Here’s something an anon requested and the AU update @mansaeboysbe asked for bazillion years ago. This one is suuuuper long to make up for it so I hope you all enjoy! This story is such a hot mess tbh. Also this gif of Jihoon is exactly what this fic is all about.

You thought Jihoon would be a hero?? lmao think again 

Bc I think he’d be the perfect villain

Ok not really but hear me out

Jihoon would be some kind of a genius mastermind ok?

If you think that’s not a superpower, you’re wrong

You can say he’s some kind of a technopath bc this guy can literally build anything tech-y out of everything

For example, he made his first weapon at the age of five. fIVE.

Like what was i even doing at the age of five?? my only accomplishment by then was being the champion in a cracker-eating competition during independence day celebration smh

I’m so proud of it tho so y’all can fight me if you disagree

He can also manipulate most forms of technology

He can turn off lights without having to switch it off, manipulate computer data, he can hack into cyber systems, restore information and break computer codes

He could’ve done much worse but since he never had any form of training since he first discovered his power, his power is pretty underdeveloped

Nonetheless, technopath!Woozi is still super powerful, even with his limitations

Supervillain!Jihoon would wear some kind of a black suit with some cool-ass tool belt strapped on his hips for his tinkering needs

Definitely no spandex and absolutely no capes

We hear ya, Edna

He’d wear the typical black mask and his red hair would be a stark contrast against his dark ensemble

I live for red-haired Woozi

He also got these cool gauntlets on his wrist and he can shoot out sedatives, tear gas pellets, tasers, grappling hooks, a radio transmitter and explosives

Woozi also got his own personal A.I. assistant

Think of it like J.A.R.V.I.S. and it works exactly like it

It oversees Jihoon’s overall health, help him construct weapons and sometimes poppin’ some popcorns for Jihoon during Friday movie nights

Jihoon would also be super agile! He’s really quick on his feet and can do some cool acrobatic s***

Because Jihoon might sit around and construct weapons all day so you’d expect him to be out of shape lol

But Jihoon figured that while he wasn’t tinkering, he’d be running away from the cops or smth so why not start training his cardio right?

So yeah he did a lot of gymnastics and acrobatics

Besides running from the cops, he wants to make memorable entrance and exits in the future, too, lmao

It’s pretty funny bc one second he’d be like Bob the builder and the next he’s tumbling like a f***in ninja

It’s incredible

Anyways

So Jihoon has been plotting his big debut as a super villain for a long time now

He’s so tired of everybody underestimating his power despite him probably being able to ensemble a makeshift grenade in record time to blow your ass off

And he’s also tired of the times people called him cute

He’s not cute, alright?!

It’s been his lifelong dream to be able to look into people’s eyes and see fear in their eyes as he whispers,

“Am I cute now, you little s***?”

And he also decided that his super villain name would be Woozi

O yeah, bc something that means Our Jihoon is so evil. Oooh, I’m shaking in my boots

I’m getting off topic

About his super secret world domination plan..

Woozi had built a robot army to take over the city

I mean, he could’ve done it all by himself but

It’s his big debut, man

Give him a break

In no time, the city was completely taken over by his army of evil robots

He didn’t do anything serious

Just letting his robots do their evil stuff

Pulling out dead 2010 memes on people

Stealing candies from children

The usual

Also, people were already pretty terrified at the thought of a robot uprising so it wasn’t like he needed to work very hard to make people s*** in their pants

At this point, people are screaming, babies are crying; it’s music to Woozi’s ears

And everything’s going to plan until 

OK, WHAT THE F*** IS THAT?

Ok quick backstory: the local factory had been dumping all its illegal waste into the local reservoir, the chemicals contained in the waste genetically transformed some of the wildlife around the reservoir into mutants

Wow did this just become an environmental propaganda?

Nevertheless, don’t litter, kids

Woozi looked ahead at the sight ahead of him and the city was suddenly swarmed by dozens of mutant creatures, animals and plants alike

It’s like Jumanji on steroids

F***in mutts tryna derail his plan of world domination?

Woozi is not having it

So Woozi whipped up random stuff from his tool belt and started to construct a make-shift weapon

And so you got Woozi who’s combating evil wildlife with his Object Animator

Which is like, a gun but instead of firing bullets it would “scan” objects and turn them into data in which he stored in the memory card in the weapon 

HE’S LIKE A POKEMON MASTER

And there are few other heroes from different parts of the city who came, too, bc they heard some crazy guy tried to take over the city

But now instead of seeing some maniac cackling as they watch the robots take over the city, they see animal mutants everywhere like Madagascar: Evil Edition

The hero from a neighbouring city, S.Coups, was throwing mutant elephants here and there like nobody’s business 

Honestly, at this point, the city was a hot mess with robots, evil mutant wildlife and heroes all compiled in one city

Anyways

So you’re one of the city’s local journalist so cliché

You were reporting from the roof of a carpark building

“I s*** you not, viewers, we just saw a flock of two-headed swans chasing down the police forces. You may laugh but have you ever had a swan hot on your trail? It’s the scariest s*** ever. Now imagine it with two heads and multiply it by tEN. Ok wait, let me put down the mic bc I’m gonna pray for the police bc only God can save them now.”

“WHoA, Ben’s Taco is on fIRe, everyone! Lmfao bc f*** Ben, he always charges extra for guacamole so he finally got what’s coming for him. Moving on..”

I’m so sorry if your name is Ben and bc Ben is the least Mexican name ever

You’re pretty controversial bc you speak without any filter but that’s also the reason people love you lol

Anyways, you’re up there reporting, ready to deliver the biggest drag of the century on national TV when a group of winged monkeys decided to go ape s*** lmao get it? ape s***? on you crew

You’re like “Elphaba’s not here. Wrong show !!!”

But of course, did they listen? No.

And somehow you got cornered to the ledge and by the time you realized what’s going on, you’re free falling

Free falling.. falling...

Bonus points to the person who gets this reference

Coincidentally, at that very moment, Woozi was right at the bottom of the building, completely unaware of what had been going on a few meters above

He was shouting at one of his robots for not doing its work properly

“You dips***! Why do you have a cat in your arms! How did you even find it?! I designed you to be evil! EvIL!

“But boss, villains always have a cat in their arms!”

Ok Woozi couldn’t argue with that but

“Priorities!! We’re supposed to tear those mutts apart!! They’re in the way of my plans!!!”

“But I know my priorities!!”

“Oml I should’ve done all of this myself! Now if there’s an answer to all of this f***in mess-”

Woozi had his arms out in exasperation at this point and BAM 

He wasn’t ready when you suddenly fell into his arms lmao

You were lucky you both didn’t fall into a messy heap on the pavement bc Woozi regained his footing pretty quickly

You were definitely ready for sweet, sweet death but you felt like you weren’t falling anymore and

You opened your eyes to see the most beautiful confused face you’ve ever seen???

Your heart did a little backflip in your chest and you’re like

“My hero~” *heart eyes*

Woozi almost dropped you bc he’s anything but

“Who the f*** are you??” he said

“Y/N. And you are?” you asked breathlessly

Now your name sounds familiar to him and he remembered you’re that notorious journalist everyone seem to have a love-hate relationship with

You’re just..blunt and cute

This was like his chance of publicity lol so he was like “Woozi.”

You would have loved to stay and have a little chat with the hero with the clearest eyes you’ve ever seen but he got to go

So that’s how your first encounter went

With you falling into his arms lel

It did take them some time but they eventually managed to save the city

Mostly with the help of Woozi and his robot army

‘well, at least what remained of it’ Woozi thought as he looked at his robots, most only with one of its limbs left attached and barely able to stand

same tbh

People knew this but they were also confused??

Bc wasn’t he the guy to tried to take over the city earlier?? Is he the good guy or the bad guy??

They were pretty baffled but grateful nonetheless

So everyone’s cheering for Woozi and chanting his name and Woozi’s like??? why

Tbh he’s just as confused as you are

“Ok this is not going according to plan.”

And somewhere down on the streets you’re like “YeAH! WOOZI! MA BOI.”

The first person he’s gonna kill after this mess is you for calling him your “boi”

He’s not your “boi”

Anyways, the crowds are chanting and Woozi’s confused

And emerging from the crowd was S.Coups who approached him and was like 

“Dude, you’re pretty cool. Come to the Heroes Conference tomorrow. It’ll be great having you on the team!”

And Jihoon’s never been one to be approached, let alone being invited to something

But despite him not even liking superheroes he couldn’t help the meek “O-Okay” that escaped him

dang it.

HE’S NEW TO THIS SUPERHERO-VILLAIN ORDEAL ALRIGHT? LET HIM LIVE.

And that’s how he finds himself at the Heroes Conference the next morning

So the Heroes Conference is a conference held regularly by the Heroes Association after any sort of event when a super managed to defeat a villain

It’s a way for the Heroes Association and the people appreciate having their city saved

Here, the supposed-hero would receive a token of appreciation, a medal of some sort

And most of the times, new heroes are recruited during these conferences

To say Woozi felt like he’s out of element is an understatement

He couldn’t help but feel like he’s a black sheep there

A supposed-villain surrounded by heroes

Why is he here again?

Well he came bc he thought it’d be weird if someone who everybody thought saved the city doesn't come when a big superhero like S.Coups invited him to get initiated into a team

Unwittingly, he said yes

Yeah, it’s not like he was starstruck or anything

And it’s not like he’s curious, pffffttt what’re you talking about

But he’s been seething inside bc what’s supposed to be his big debut as a super villain was completely ruined by those stupid mutant motherfrickers

His evil daydreams are ruined now 

He was brooding when he heard a familiar voice

“Hey! Woozi!!”

And there you were, approaching him with a sun of a smile and he couldn’t help but feel his breath hitch roll his eyes

“Oh. It’s you.”

“Yeah! It’s me!”

“What do you want?”

You dismissed his tone and was like “Please let me do an interview??”

And he’s like, “Me?? An interview??”

say whaaaaa

Woozi was already in a bad enough mood from being where he doesn’t even want to be

Adding to that fact was you asking him to do an interview was stretching it a little too far

Woozi was so ready to say no

But you’re looking at him with so much admiration?? Nobody has ever looked at him like that?

He couldn’t help but feel his heart melt a little

BUT WAIT HE ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE FEELING LIKE THIS!

HE’S EVIL.

E-VIL.

Woozi wouldn’t admit to himself that he’s weak for you and it’s not even day one lmao

“Fine. Make it quick.”

Seeing the smile that bloomed on your face almost made it worth it

Almost

So that’s how he found himself sitting face to face with you

Honestly, the interview was pretty colorful and entertaining, even to him, with you hosting it

You: “~And BAM your robots just sent that freakin rhino into the gas station and BOOM it exploded!!! And then the monkeys went SWOOSH and then I’m falling!! Right into y o u !!!!”

Honestly he didn't see the point of this interview since you just chronologically explained the whole story but oh well

Woozi had never gotten himself interviewed before but?? wOw aren’t you a handful but he likes it

He didn’t mind, though?? bc all he was thinking throughout the whole interview was you

When the interview finally ended, he almost regretted when he said to make it quick

He couldn’t stop thinking about you that day and they day after that, and the day after that 

So now Woozi has two issues; aside from having a huge f***ing crush on you, now Woozi’s kinda stuck doing the Good Guy stuff

Like, he still doesn’t understand???

How do you do the superhero thing?????

Woozi literally doesn’t know how to superhero

Some days he’ll be on a mission and his teammate suddenly go

“Woozi! The what are you doing?!”

“I’m beating up the bad guys, like you said.”

“...wOOZI THAT’S OUR GUY.”

Whoops

He’s been trying to ask you out for weeks but all of his free time is now spent doing boring good hero stuff

He couldn’t even use his explosives anymore

Trust him when he said he asked

Why did he agree to this again??

But what he didn’t expect was how much he’s been seeing you?

Like, for reals, this town is super heh problematic istg

So Woozi gets to see you a lot irl bc well, you’re a journalist

But you seem to be always at the right place at the wrong time whenever whatever happens and he saved your ass more than he could count

Like, there was the time a super-robbery happened

Yes, super-robbery, bc regular robbery is boring and apparently, aside from being problematic, this town is also very extra when it comes to crimes

And you somehow found yourself as a hostage? Like hOW?

And another time when you got kidnapped for ransom? You were pretty calm about it tho but Woozi’s the one getting grey hair bc of you

But you could say it was also the right time bc Woozi got to swoop in to save your ass multiple times, too

And from all the times he did save you, you just...fell for a little more??

Bc by the end of it, while he nags at you for being so useless and careless and everything in between, you know he cares

What a tsundere

Ok but this is where it gets fun

So Jihoon had a rough night, so he decided to maybe get some fresh air, right?

So he was walking around with his earphones on when wait.. is that?

You were cornered by a group of what seems like drunken men and Jihoon’s like here we go

How do you find yourself in this kind of situation all the time?

“Get away from her, you dick!”

You were a little bit surprised when you heard someone shouting

You weren’re really expecting someone to notice so you were shocked when this guy showed up with the scariest pissed-off look you’ve ever seen

And the drunk guys just sneered bc who is this squirt?

Oh but Jihoon’s familiar with the condescending looks in their eyes

Jihoon had experienced his fair share throughout his high school days alright

So he used everything he’s ever learned from always getting made fun of for his height

He kicked one of the f***ers in the kneecaps, grabbed your hand and ran

You finally stopped when you’re sure you’re safe enough and you couldn’t help but admire this stranger who just saved you

“My hero~”

Do you say that to every single one of your savior? bc Jihoon is getting major flashbacks now

Of course, you felt very very grateful for getting saved so you wanted to treat this cute stranger

“Here, let me treat you to some coffee. I insist.”

And that’s how he found himself sitting across from you in a quaint coffee shop

“Thank you so much for saving me!”

And Jihoon swore under his breath bc there it is again

That smile

“No problem.”

You couldn’t help but think that the guy looked kinda familiar??

“So tell me about yourself!” you said

‘Well, you actually know me but not the real me but I’ve been pinning on you from day one but this is not how I imagined our first date would be like.’ Jihoon wanted to say but he figured he’ll just sound like a creep lol

Wait is this a date? F***

“Uh, I play the guitar???” 

Nice, Jihoon, smooth.

Hey, a supervillain can have a hobby, alright?

And Jihoon didn’t know how it happened but you seemed interested in what he has to say and he ended up having a lot of fun talking to you??

The conversation went for a long time that he didn’t realize it’s been hours since he left headquarters and he’s still got things to do and he’s like crap gtg

And you’re like “Oh! You need to go?? I really enjoyed talking to you.. Maybe we can..meet again??” 

Bruh, you may look super cool and suave outside but you’re literally freaking out inside bc !!! You’re actually asking this cute stranger guy out !!!

And that’s how Lee Jihoon ended up back in the headquarter, everything’s the same except for the number written on the entire length of his right arm in black ink

But then the next morning people were shookth from the obvious series of numbers written on his arm lmaoo

The other peeps on the team was like, “OoOoO are you dAting someone???”

“S.Coups, I know you can’t fly and I will not hesitate to push you off this ledge and make it seem like an accident if you don’t step away this instant.”

*S.Coups backing away slowly*

One of the team members almost prank called you claiming to be Woozi but then he got strangled by Jihoon lmao

You and Jihoon started to hang out more often

One time you guys (you guys as in you and Jihoon, you’re still unaware of his alter ego apparently smh) were talking about your favorite supers and Woozi came up in the conversation

“I don’t know, I just really like him.”

That caught his interest

“Uh, why?”

“Because! He’s so cool, don’t you think??? Saved me couple times, too. What a man.”

Lmao, more like hundreds of times

Woozi couldn’t count how many times he had to save your ass now

“But why do you even like him? He’s not like S.Coups or anything. He’s not..nice.”

You looked at him a little offended bc 

Did he really just say that? In front of your f***ing salad?

“Uhm, excuse me but he cares about other people, Jihoon! Just because someone’s nice doesn’t mean he’s good!”

Jihoon never thought he’d hear someone say something so nice about him?? For once, someone actually cared about him

And it feels...nice

And if he had a huge crush on you then, by now he’s f***ing flipped

“Plus, I’d totally date him.”

Choke

So you guys obviously starting to like each other more and more; him bc of your, uh, refreshing personality and him bc of his blunt nature

What a charming couple, honestly

But he couldn’t work up the nerve to ask you out when he’s not wearing his super-villain, er, hero costume

But he can’t help it now!!!

He needs to do something about this stupid crush!!!

It’s taking over his brain

It’s taking over his life

HE ALMOST DIED ON A MISSION THINKING ABOUT YOU

They really weren’t kidding when they said that love is a disease bc he feels like he gets heart attacks whenever you smile and him and it makes him want to write stupid love songs about you and it’s just ugh

He’s a swimming lovesick fool around you

But Woozi isn’t keen on grand gestures

So one day, he finally swallowed his nerves and went up to you after work  in his super suit 

And you were like,”Woozi!! It’s you!!”

But then he took of his mask in front of you

And “Wait, what? W ho? Jihoon????”

Again, how you’ve ever put the pieces together baffles me smh

“Yeah. It’s me.” He looked like he’s ready to s*** his pants tbh

“Look, I hate your stupid face. I hate that you made me think about you everyday. I can’t even look at a monkey the same way without ending up thinking about you now. I hate that your smile always gives me heart attacks. So let’s just get this over with. Y/N, do you want to go out with me?”

Lmao w hat

Is he...asking you out???

So all this time, Woozi is Jihoon and Jihoon is Woozi?

IT MAKES SENSE NOW

Sigh

So you stood there gaping like a fish

Which kinda reminded him of when his robot short-circuited, cute.

And Woozi’s ready to flee the scene and go home and spend his night eating a tub of ice cream while writing a two-page essay on how you will never ever be together and hide under his covers and–

“Alright, let’s go on a date.”

Well, he be da**ed.

Did you just agree to go out with him??

He feels like he can take over the world now

But maybe later bc now, he has a date to attend to ;)

(But honestly, if he had asked you without the suit and all, you’d still pick him.)

(Because in the end, you fell for Jihoon, not Woozi.)

(But also you’re feeling lucky bc you happen to like both so what a steal.)

[brokemymeme]

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE SENTENCE MEME

The Black Parade

change pronouns and such as needed ( tw death, tw suicide, tw gore, tw blood, tw drugs, tw cancer)

THE END ❝ You can’t save me! ❞ ❝ Save me! Get me the hell out of here! ❞ ❝ Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag. ❞ ❝ When I grow up I want to be nothing at all! ❞ ❝ My dear, if you can hear me just walk away. ❞ ❝ Now come one, come all to this tragic affair! ❞ ❝ I'd encourage your smiles, I'll expect you won't cry. ❞ ❝ You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not. ❞ ❝ If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out firsthand what it's like to be me. ❞

DEAD! ❝ You never fell in love. ❞ ❝ Did you get what you deserve? ❞ ❝ Wouldn't it be great if we were dead? ❞ ❝ Is that the most the both of you can give? ❞ ❝ Have you heard the news that you're dead? ❞ ❝ If you get to heaven I'll be here waiting, babe. ❞ ❝ If life ain't just a joke then why are we laughing? ❞ ❝ Wouldn't it be grand to take a pistol by the hand? ❞ ❝ If your life won't wait then your heart can't take this. ❞ ❝ So long, cause now you've got maybe just two weeks to live. ❞ ❝ No one ever had much nice to say, I think they never liked you anyway. ❞ ❝ If your heart stops beating, I'll be here wondering did you get what you deserve? ❞

THIS IS HOW I DISAPPEAR ❝ I'm just a ghost. ❞ ❝ I can't hurt you anymore. ❞ ❝ All the good girls go to heaven. ❞ ❝ Can you hear me cry out to you? ❞ ❝ Who walks among the famous living dead. ❞ ❝ Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. ❞ ❝ Now, you wanna see how far down I can sink? ❞ ❝ There's things that I have done you never should ever know. ❞ ❝ Without you is how I disappear and live my life alone forever now. ❞

THE SHARPEST LIVES ❝ A kiss and I will surrender. ❞ ❝ You're in time for the show. ❞ ❝ I've really been on a bender and it shows. ❞ ❝ The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead. ❞ ❝ If I crash on the couch, can I sleep in my clothes? ❞ ❝ I've spent the night dancing, I'm drunk, I suppose. ❞ ❝ So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes? ❞ ❝ Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands. ❞ ❝ You're the one that I need, I'm the one that you loathe ❞ ❝ Well, it rains and it pours when you're out on your own. ❞ ❝ A light to burn all the empires, so bright the sun is ashamed to rise. ❞ ❝ If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm really just asking to leave this alone. ❞ ❝ Give me a shot to remember and you can take all the pain away from me. ❞ ❝ There's a place in the dark where the animals go, you can take off your skin in the cannibal glow. ❞

WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE ❝ I don't care. ❞ ❝ We'll carry on. ❞ ❝ In my heart I can't contain it. ❞ ❝ I'm just a man, I'm not a hero. ❞ ❝ I won't explain or say I'm sorry. ❞ ❝ Give a cheer for all the broken. ❞ ❝ Do or die, you'll never make me. ❞ ❝ Go and try, you'll never break me. ❞ ❝ Your misery and hate will kill us all. ❞ ❝ The world will never take my heart. ❞ ❝ I’m just a boy, who had to sing this song. ❞ ❝ I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scars. ❞ ❝ When you're gone, we want you all to know, we'll carry on. ❞ ❝ Though you're broken and defeated, your weary widow marches. ❞ ❝ Though you're dead and gone believe me your memory will carry on. ❞ ❝ Let's shout it loud and clear. Defiant to the end we hear the call to carry on. ❞ ❝ On and on we carry through the fears and disappointed faces of your peers. ❞ ❝ When I was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band. ❞ ❝ One day I'll leave you, a phantom to lead you in the summer, to join the black parade. ❞ ❝ When you grow up would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned? ❞ ❝ Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me and other times I feel like I should go. ❞ ❝ Will you defeat them, your demons and all the non-believers, the plans that they have made? ❞

I DON’T LOVE YOU ❝ Better get up while you can. ❞ ❝ Better get out while you can. ❞ ❝ You're still a good-for-nothing. ❞ ❝ I don't love you like I did yesterday. ❞ ❝ So sick and tired of all the needless beating. ❞ ❝ Maybe when you get back I'll be off to find another way. ❞ ❝ Well, when you go don't ever think I'll make you try to stay. ❞ ❝ After all the blood that you still owe another dollar's just another blow. ❞ ❝ When you go would you have the guts to say, "I don't love you like I loved you yesterday"? ❞

HOUSE OF WOLVES ❝ Tell me I'm an angel. ❞ ❝ It's a compliment, I swear. ❞ ❝ We got innocence for days! ❞ ❝ I’ve been a bad motherfucker.  ❞ ❝ I want to hear you sing the praise. ❞ ❝ Well, I think I'm going to burn in hell. ❞ ❝ Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man. ❞ ❝ I said ashes to ashes, we all fall down. ❞ ❝ Tell me I'm a bad man, kick me like a stray. ❞ ❝ I'll be granting your permission ‘cause you haven't got a prayer. ❞ ❝ Well, I know a thing about contrition because I got enough to spare. ❞ ❝ As the blood runs down the walls, you’ll see me creepin' up these halls. ❞ ❝ You better run like the devil, ‘cause they're never going to leave you alone. ❞ ❝ I'm going to come sing the praise and let the spirit come on through you. ❞ ❝ You better hide up in the alley ‘cause they're never going to find you a home. ❞

CANCER ❝ Turn away. ❞ ❝ Know that I will never marry. ❞ ❝ Bury me in all my favorite colors. ❞ ❝ The hardest part of this is leaving you. ❞ ❝ Now turn away ‘cause I'm awful just to see. ❞ ❝ But counting down the days to go? It just ain't living. ❞ ❝ Still I will not kiss you, ‘cause the hardest part of this is leaving you. ❞ ❝ I just hope you know that if you say good-bye today, I'd ask you to be true. ❞ ❝ If you could get me a drink of water cause my lips are chapped and faded. ❞

MAMA ❝ We're all full of lies. ❞ ❝ We'll never let you go. ❞ ❝ We're damned after all. ❞ ❝ Mama, we all go to hell. ❞ ❝ You ain't no son of mine. ❞ ❝ We're meant for the flies. ❞ ❝ Mama, we're all gonna die. ❞ ❝ I should've been a better son. ❞ ❝ I could have been a better son. ❞ ❝ You should've raised a baby girl. ❞ ❝ When you go, don't return to me, my love. ❞ ❝ Right now they're building a coffin your size. ❞ ❝ So raise your glass high, for tomorrow we die. ❞ ❝ There's shit that I've done with this fuck of a gun. ❞ ❝ Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry. ❞ ❝ We all carry on when our brothers in arms are gone. ❞ ❝ For what you've done they're gonna find a place for you. ❞ ❝ If you could coddle the infection they can amputate at once. ❞ ❝ We all go to hell. It's really quite pleasant, except for the smell. ❞ ❝ If you would call me a sweetheart, I'd maybe then sing you a song. ❞ ❝ If you can stay, then I'll show you the way to return from the ashes. ❞

SLEEP ❝ Just sleep. ❞ ❝ Three cheers for tyranny. ❞ ❝ How could you cry for me? ❞ ❝ A drink for the horror that I'm in. ❞ ❝ And I can't...I can't ever wake up. ❞ ❝ Walk away a savior or a madman. ❞ ❝ The hardest part is letting go of your dreams. ❞ ❝ There ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did. ❞ ❝ There ain't no way that I'm coming back again. ❞ ❝ So shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye, and sleep. ❞ ❝ They're not like tremors, they're worse than tremors. ❞ ❝ How could you cry for me? ‘Cause I don't feel bad about it. ❞ ❝ They're these terrors and it feels as if somebody was gripping my throat. ❞ ❝ The hardest part's the awful things that I've seen. Sometimes I see flames and sometimes I see people that I love dying. ❞

TEENAGERS ❝ The drugs never work. ❞ ❝ You're never gonna fit in much, kid. ❞ ❝ Teenagers scare the living shit out of me. ❞ ❝ Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me. ❞ ❝ They could care less as long as someone'll bleed. ❞ ❝ They're gonna give you a smirk ‘cause they got methods of keeping you clean. ❞ ❝ Darken your clothes or strike a violent pose, maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me. ❞ ❝ They're gonna clean up your looks with all the lies in the books to make a citizen out of you. ❞ ❝ They're gonna rip up your heads, your aspirations to shreds. Another cog in the murder machine. ❞

DISENCHANTED ❝ You won't feel a thing. ❞ ❝ So go away, just go, run away! ❞ ❝ You never learned a goddamn thing. ❞ ❝ This never meant nothing to you at all. ❞ ❝ You're just a sad song with nothing to say. ❞ ❝ Where did you run to? And where did you hide? ❞ ❝ If I'm so wrong, how can you listen all night long? ❞ ❝ I spent my high school career spit on and shoved to agree. ❞ ❝ As we ran from the cops we laughed so hard it would sting. ❞ ❝ I hate the ending myself but it started with an alright scene. ❞ ❝ If you think that I'm wrong, this never meant nothing to you. ❞ ❝ Bring out the old guillotine, we'll show them what we all mean. ❞ ❝ Will it matter after I'm gone? Because you never learned a goddamn thing. ❞

FAMOUS LAST WORDS ❝ Can I speak? ❞ ❝ Where's your heart? ❞ ❝ I am not afraid to keep on living. ❞ ❝ I am not afraid to walk this world alone. ❞ ❝ A love that's so demanding I get weak. ❞ ❝ A life that's so demanding I get so weak. ❞ ❝ A love that's so demanding I can't speak. ❞ ❝ So many bright lights, they cast a shadow. ❞ ❝ These bright lights have always blinded me. ❞ ❝ Well, is it hard understanding I'm incomplete? ❞ ❝ Nothing you can say can stop me going home. ❞ ❝ I know there's nothing I can say to change that part. ❞ ❝ I see you lying next to me with words I thought I'd never speak. ❞ ❝ Now, I know that I can't make you stay but where's your heart? ❞

BONUS: BLOOD ❝ I’m such an awful fuck. ❞ ❝ Honestly, I'll be here for a while. ❞ ❝ I gave you blood, gallons of the stuff! ❞ ❝ I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love. ❞ ❝ Well, they encourage your complete cooperation. ❞ ❝ Grab a glass because there's going to be a flood. ❞ ❝ Send you roses when they think you need to smile. ❞ ❝ Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough. ❞ ❝ I gave you all that you can drink and it has never been enough. ❞ ❝ I can't control myself because I don't know how and they love me for it. ❞ ❝ A celebrated man amongst the gurneys, they can fix me proper with a bit of luck. ❞ ❝ The doctors and the nurses they adore me so but it's really quite alarming cause I'm such an awful fuck. ❞

[bestfluteninja]

quotes from marching band, 2k17

these are actual things that people in my marching band said during the 2017 season. prepare yourself. (if you want context just shoot me an ask and i’ll try to provide it)

“I like your dad hat”

“Fuck you!” “You would”

“I hate him so much”

“Does anyone have lotion?”

“I need a new oboe reed cause mine is shit”

“I forgot sunscreen”

“Happy June camp!” “How is it happy?” “I’m trying to be positive here”

“Mr. H took his Tide bottle away”

“There’s a big shiny object in the sky. It’s the sun. It does this thing called shining”

“I’m gonna get a rotisserie chicken tattooed on my forehead”

“Dis line tho”

“And remember, I don’t care”

“He was just sitting on the toilet, pants down, phone out, playing Clash of Clans or something”

“Why are you sitting outside?” “Because if I wanted to be around people, I’d be inside”

“Just finished a drug deal”

[after chucking a phone across the parking lot into the grass] “The screen isn’t cracked but the case is!”

“Stop spraying people with sunscreen”

“SPF sun-resistant”

“Your pants are not ripping apart, it’s okay”

“It’s been in my bra and it’s still warm”

“He got a penny stuck in his trumpet”

“Let’s do me”

“Aww yeah, sun cancer”

“Right in the stomach

“I’m the best noodle”

“I use a pencil sharpener”

“Why is my binder always backwards and upside down”

“Someone just died”

“We’re so good at circles”

“Okay, guys, this circle is turning into a triangle”

“I’m turning into a meme”

“She forgot her instrument at first”

“I ran into a Little Cesar’s building”

“Nothing ever happens in marching band, this is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened” [there was a small lake in the indoor room where woodwinds were supposed to practice]

“My heart actually started beating, and I thought no”

“I found myself being nice and it just didn’t sit with me”

“I want to eat but my stomach’s rejecting it”

“A tree fell on my house again”

“If you want a good comeback, you have to be creative, you sea dolphin”

“I’ll bottle flip a tree onto your house”

“Being high is better than being asleep”

“I like having my earbuds in and not paying attention while I walk across the street”

“I cried this morning”

“He doesn’t look like a Logan, he looks like a Bob”

“I can’t carry everything and your everything else”

“I’m gonna tondo this foot straight up your ass”

“She’s literally a noodle:

“You can hate me all you want, I don’t care:

“School starts in three weeks–” *various screaming pterodactyl noises* “–and I won’t mention that again”

“People who run across the road are extra” “I don’t care if you think I’m extra, I don’t wanna get run over”

“That is where the drum line is. Never go there.”

“I’m not a white k-pop fan that only listens to BTS. Well, I am, but I listen to other bands too”

“I thought the baritone girl was you”

“I hate this, I hate being here, it makes me hate myself” “Then why are you here?” “To get gym credits”

“Come see how done your boyfriend is”

“There’s a catastrophe over there”

“People swat at sweat bees and then they miss and just hit you”

“You only have one reed?”

“I like diabetes-sweet coffee”

“I like coffee as bitter as I am”

“Don’t ‘yeah’ me, fucking fix it”

“I watched the first episode, and there was a bunch of naked people, and I was like ‘nope’“

“Instrument catches on fire? Keep your feet in time”

“Can I go up for thirds yet?”

“Put your damn chicken nuggets down”

“They were standing on the sideline catcalling me and I missed a step off and once we got off the field I went ‘motherfuckers’“

“I will not have you spreading rumors that I’m selling drugs to the students”

“Don’t forget your necks”

“You suck!” “For a dollar”

“It’s like Cards Against Humanity, but it’s visuals against saxophones”

“Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right–” “Left!” “WRONG”

“I have my own shady not-drugs”

“That’s blood”

“Look at this sweat fucking bee” “That’s a regular bee” [pokes it with drumstick]

“Mom! Face forward when you’re on the bus” “Then I can’t see what you’re up to”

“THE STUDENT SECTION CHEERED!”

“It doesn’t give you energy, it just loads you with caffeine”

“When you leaned down, I could see your boobs” “Were they nice boobs?” “Yeah” “Then that’s all that matters”

“Am I embarrassing you?” “Little bit”

“Oh are we playing the school song? Thanks for telling me”

“That is a lot of birds on there, that’s concerning”

“I forgot my flute”

“Look at our school, going over the curb”

“Let’s go smash the liquid banana”

“Can I have a hand hug?”

“Do you have a hair tie around your phone?” “I do. I also have ten dollars I found on the bus”

“Marching band is the only form of slavery still legal in the United States”

“I somehow accumulated three water bottles” “You’re gonna pee clear”

“When do I not want chik-fil-a?”

“I constantly have to pee”

“I have three water bottles” “I’m proud of you”

“How do you think you did?” “Better than first place”

“Which came first, calculus or physics?”

“Y’all stink worse than the guard bus”

“Close your eyes and it’ll seem dark”

“There’s tired, and then there’s band competition tired”

“I just went through puberty, second time around”

“I need to blow my nose and pet my dog”

“Can I braid your leg hair?”

“I generally don’t like to tell my boyfriend I’m cheating on him”

“There’s a Starbucks nearby”

“Why do I relate so much to the small child?” “Which one?” “The one who’s screaming”

“Avon just marches in a block and the judges are like ‘amazing, first place’“

“I don’t care if you die” “I’ve never seen this side of the flutes before” “I promise we’re all friends in the flute section”

“I’m gonna eat my own asshole” “Can I have half?”

“There is nothing productive going on over there”

“Why does God hate me?”

“I’m allergic to the prescribed crap”

“Are you eating a doughnut?” [takes another bite of doughnut] “No”

“I hate this band”

“Did we lose the other bus again?”

“They definitely wouldn’t notice a 220 pound man jumping out a window”

“If you don’t know who Frank Sinatra is, just leave”

“A bee just landed on my nose”

“We set the standard really low”

“I love you, band moms. You feed us so well”

“McDonald’s is where it’s aaaaaat”

“Why is this part of my body sweating?”

“I’m gonna hoard my food”

“See, the show choir moms just don’t care”

“I’m not a fork”

“It’s three o’clock? I thought it was like six”

“Well if you look at my phone it’s seven thirty a.m. yesterday”

“I just hate the flutes”

“I wonder if I could walk through the drive-through”

“Your voice is lower, like you’re trying to be seductive”

“Oh, you mean on Snapchat, I thought you meant like tracking”

“I have one percent oh no mayday mayday”

“You almost just died” “But it would have been spectacular”

“That’s not flying, that’s falling very fast. With style”

“I love birds–no, I hate birds”

“What’s on your bucket list?”

“I don’t pay attention to non-human menstrual cycles”

“Rifle butts are cute”

“Oh my god a bass drum”

“Do you like my snuggie?”

“It looks like Christmas and a highlighter had a baby”

“I will eat anything that’s edible”

“I thought it was ‘fluti’ like ‘cacti’“

“He makes a better Elsa than Elsa”

“It fits everywhere but the boobs”

“I have chik-fil-a in my pocket”

“You want a present? I found it in the ceiling”

“The hell-word”

“Why wouldn’t I want a donut?”

“Afraid of diabetes? Have you seen what I eat?”

“I just really love food today”

“Don’t break physics”

“I would suck someone’s dick for twenty dollars”

“Activate your thighs”

“I have pep in my step, man”

[hobbling dangerously fast on crutches] “I’m a trained medical professional!”

“If you don’t feel like you’re attacking your neighbor, you’re doing it wrong”

“Why are y’all having orgies on the stairs?”

“Why do we have two trash bags?” “One for the people, one for the stuff”

[singing] “We are family, even though you’re whiter than me”

“Make it iCarly. Throw the bagel at the wall”

“Get a room, you two”

“Who wants drugs?”

“He’s like a white Catholic man at a rave”

“Come hither, children, into the house of pee”

“I have just been mcflashed”

“Why?” “Meme”

“What in precipiatation”

“We can all be flat together”

“Wrong plus wrong equals less wrong”

“There may or may not be a hip thrust”

“The moon is an illusion”

“It’s hte one where we sit in the middle of the floor and they announce all our failures”

“Make the voices in your heat be a metronome”

“I forgot how to write the letter 9″

“The size of this mushroom is ungodly”

“The sun has not risen yet we should not be here”

“Nap time corner!”

“Will nut for heat”

“I am scientifically burning up”

“Please never make that noise again. You sounded like a hawk jumping off a bridge”

“There is no dying permitted in my section”

“A bird pooped on my shoulder!”

“It’s not about the size, it’s how you use it”

“Is your mom coming?” “Unfortunately”

“I’m a pretty pink princess”

“Your mom gave me extra candy on Halloween”

“Boy do I love men in tights”

“I’m not giving this boy ten dollars for a Gatorade”

“You got your charger, right? So if I watch Netflix I can use it?”

“I have to turn it up just a little so it doesn’t have a seizure”

“Get Spotify premium so there aren’t ads!” “It’s YouTube, calm down”

“I think I have that exact same bra on right now”

“They have kettle corn!!!”

“One, two, three, NUT”

“I didn’t know hair could have personality until I saw your hair flips”

“Midstates is a pity competition, like, oh, you didn’t make state? Have midstates” “Yeah, but I wanna win the pity competition”

“Do not have sexual intercourse in the next ten minutes, please”

“The golf cart people took her”

“I have what the cool kids call–” [does cartwheel and comes up with finger guns] “–depression”

“I shaved my ankle last night” “Not the rest of your leg?” “No, just my ankle”

“All that makes me feel is emotional distress”

“I never knew hair could have personality until I saw your hair flips”

“Is that orgy kid?”

“Flutes and clarinets, I am sensing a distinct lack of Christmas spirit when we sing jingle bells”

“Why aren’t you wearing a black shirt? This is marching band, we have to look like ninjas”

“Someone’s skipping school, oh no”

“Santa!! Can you follow me on Instagram?” “I want his autograph”

“I play saxophone, I’m not used to reading in the stratosphere”

[c9sneaksen-blog]

Perfect

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark

With you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass

Listening to our favourite song

I have faith in what I see

Now I know I have met an angel in person

And he looks perfect,

I don’t deserve it

You look perfect tonight

Sneaky was someone who didn’t take things seriously and people didn’t take him too seriously too. If a conversation seemed to be somewhat normal, Sneaky would start spewing memes and cracking everybody up. If someone joked about him, he would go along with it. Twitch viewers called him gay? Fuck yeah, Sneaky was the gayest player in the LCS. Was he serious? No one honestly knew.

Unfortunately, Sneaky carried this mentality over into his personal life. He couldn’t take any relationships serious. It was always one time things, never following up afterwards and not caring if anything happened again. With his former teammate, Meteos, it was the closest thing he had to a real relationship. They were star-crossed lovers, knowing never to commit to anything and taking what chances they got. Everything moved so fast, going from friends, to lovers, to Meteos leaving the team without looking back. He had been fine with their breakneck pace until the brakes were slammed on and the consequences caught up to him.

There was that underlying sense of joking that allowed Sneaky to get over Meteos so quickly. Even during nights where they would share slow kisses and Sneaky felt a fullness in his chest like no other, they both knew it wasn’t serious. It was going to end sometime.

Sneaky always assumed that a relationship would never actually lead him somewhere. It was just some fun. Nothing serious.

Which is why Jensen baffled him.

Sneaky didn’t always like Jensen. At first, he didn’t fit in with the team. He brought them down. Not everyone got along with him. He took a break from Cloud 9 and then came back. When he came back, something clicked with the team.

Suddenly, Jensen was their star player. He had grown so much from the constantly-salty and overly toxic player, to the much happier and friendlier person that he was now. He still had his moments, but this was the Jensen that all of Cloud 9 knew and loved.

And somehow, even though Jensen was the polar-opposite of Meteos, Sneaky found himself glancing over at their tiny mid-laner more and more often. He found that he had Jensen on his mind almost constantly. He couldn’t get over him.

Sneaky wasn’t sure what attracted him so much to the Danish boy. Where Meteos was tall, Jensen was positively miniscule. Sneaky fondly called him his “Pocket Mid-laner”. Where Meteos was loud and outgoing, Jensen tended to be much quieter and more serious. Where Meteos was always cheerful and laughing, Jensen had a more abrasive personality. Where Meteos was teasing and flirting and action, Jensen was taking it slow and building trust.

Not that it was a bad thing, but it confused the hell out of Sneaky. Jensen had to know that his AD Carry was interested in him. Sneaky made that much obvious. So why not have some fun, not worry about anything? It’s not like anything serious could happen between them.

But Jensen was acting like a proper gentleman who was courting Sneaky. Keeping them as friends, not going any further. Jensen seemed to be taking every action to get to know Sneaky better, for them to be closer. Sneaky wasn’t sure he wanted that. That meant that feelings would start to get involved and feelings were messy.

But Sneaky wasn’t an asshole and he wasn’t going to push Jensen into something he wasn’t ready for or break his heart along the way. So Sneaky let their borderline romantic relationship stay as it was, if that was what Jensen wanted.

Sneaky banged on the wall that was adjacent to Jensen, knowing that it bothered him and it would force the mid-laner to answer him.

“Fuck off!” Was the reply that Sneaky received.

“Jeeennseeen…” Sneaky groaned, still knocking his fist against the wall.

“You’re tilting me,” Jensen said from the other room.

“I’m booorredd…”

“I don’t care.”

“Pleaassee? Jensen?” Sneaky whined, purposely pronouncing ‘Jensen’ the European way because he knew the mid-laner was a sucker for that.

“No.” But Sneaky heard a sigh from the other room and Jensen’s chair squeaking as he got up.

Sure enough, Sneaky’s door opened just a moment later.

“What do you want?” Jensen grumbled, his thin arms crossed over his chest.

“My savior!” Sneaky reached out from on his bed, hands grabbing towards his mid-laner.

“No no no. I’m not coming in here. Your lazy ass will lay around here all day.” But even as he spoke, Jensen was walking towards Sneaky, who grinned triumphantly.

“Don’t worry, just keep me company for a little bit. Then we can go do something. Get some Chipotle maybe.”

As soon as Jensen was within arms reach, Sneaky latched onto him like an overly-affectionate octopus, dragging him down on the bed.

“Fuck off…” Jensen giggled with no real heat to it.

Sneaky put his head in the mid-laner’s lap, forcing him to stay sitting on the bed. Jensen sighed, rubbing an absent-minded hand up and down Sneaky’s back.

They sat there in comfortable silence, Sneaky with his arms around Jensen’s waist and Jensen letting his hand rest on the ADC’s back.

Guilt tugged at the back of Sneaky’s mind. This felt too good, too easy. Too close. Mid-afternoon snuggling was what couples did. Sickeningly sweet couples who were going steady for years now. Not…whatever he and Jensen were.

Sneaky wanted to reach up and pull Jensen’s slender face down to kiss him, but that wouldn’t be a one time thing. Jensen wouldn’t want it to be a one time thing and this certainly didn’t feel like a one time thing.

Sneaky knew that if he kissed Jensen it all would be over. All the pretending would be over and he would have to deal with a huge mess of feelings that were tangled up in his chest.

Sneaky wasn’t sure he could handle those. He wasn’t sure that he could be the perfect steady boyfriend who was one-hundred percent committed. He wasn’t sure he could handle letting Jensen down.

So Sneaky buried his face in Jensen’s stomach, trying to block out the world around him. Yeah, he could do the snuggling and soft touches, as long as there was no follow up. No strings attached.

Suddenly, everything was too serious. It was stifling the air and made the room thick with tension. And God knows Sneaky can’t be serious for more than five minutes. So he leaned forward, pulling up Jensen’s grey henley shirt an inch, blowing a raspberry right on his warm, pale skin.

Jensen shrieked, jumping up and pushing Sneaky’s head away.

“What the fuck, man!”

Sneaky howled with laughter, grabbing for Jensen’s waist again.

“Fucking reported!” Jensen declared as he was quickly overtaken by Sneaky, who was bigger than he was.

“EZ scrub!” Sneaky grinned, pinning Jensen down with both hands. He then placed another raspberry on Jensen’s ticklish stomach, making the mid-laner squirm and shriek with laughter.

“You…fucker!!” Jensen panted, his chest heaving with giggles.

Sneaky went on the offensive, now using both his hands and his mouth to tickle Jensen where his shirt had ridden up even more.

Jensen clutched onto Sneaky’s shoulders, and tried to shove him off with his feet, but as he was overcome with a wave of tickles, he tightened his legs around Sneaky’s back, trying to catch his breath from the laughter.

“FF! FF!” Jensen shouted, collapsing with giggles.

Sneaky relented with the tickles, but didn’t move, letting his hot breath puff onto Jensen’s exposed stomach with every gasp of laughter.

“Hah…nice meme…bro,” Sneaky grinned, letting his chin rest against Jensen’s belly. It was at that moment when they both realized the rather compromising situation they were in. Sneaky was literally positioned right between Jensen’s legs, his face nosing against his abdomen, and Jensen’s legs were hooked behind Sneaky’s back. Jensen realized he had a hand threaded through Sneaky’s hair from when he was trying to push the AD Carry’s face off his stomach.

Jensen swallowed thickly. Sneaky glanced at him and his eyes were dark with heat. Yeah, time to backpedal before anything…awkward happened with Sneaky in his current position.

Jensen unhooked his legs and rolled Sneaky off of him, brushing the moment off with a grin.

“You’re such a little fucker, Sneaky, you know that? Who told you I was ticklish?”

He blinked, hurrying to break out of his daze and smirked. “No one, actually. I just found out,”

Jensen groaned, yanking his henley back down. “Fuck yoouuu, Snacky…”

Sneaky laughed. “C’mon. Let’s go to Chipotle. I’m starved.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cloud 9 had just lost the latest series and everyone was in a bad mood. Most of the team was sitting in their rooms, clearing their heads and recharging after the disappointing loss. They had reviewed the game with Reapered, going over what had gone wrong and why they had lost, but that only served to make the players more irritated and exhausted. They gratefully stumbled to their rooms, the night shaping up to be moody and silent.

Sneaky only need a little bit of time to shake off the loss and get back into a positive mindset. He was usually the first one to recover from it and start getting the rest of the team going for the next series.

But Sneaky had noticed Jensen taking the hit particularly hard. He had been distant during the game review and immediately locked himself in his room, refusing to say a word. Sneaky knew that Jensen took losses personally. Cloud 9 worked as a team, but the mid-laner often was found putting the blame on himself if a game went sideways.

There was a hard anger in Jensen’s eyes after the loss. He wasn’t mad at Cloud 9. He wasn’t mad at the opposing team. No, he was mad at himself. Sneaky hated seeing Jensen getting down on himself. It wasn’t healthy for their mid-laner to constantly be putting this pressure on himself.

Sneaky knocked softly on his and Jensen’s wall so as not to disturb the other team members. Predictably, there was no answer. But Sneaky was unrelenting, and kept knocking in the way he knew would annoy Jensen to the point where he’d have to reply.

“What the fuck? Fuck off, Zach.” Jensen hissed from the other side.

Ooh. Birth names. That wasn’t a good sign.

“C’mon, Jensen. Can I please come in?” Sneaky wheedled.

“God–just leave me alone.”

“Jensen, please. I just want to talk to you for a second.”

This time, there was no joking for Sneaky. He was dead serious. It killed him to see Jensen hurting like this. The mid-laner must have heard the change in Sneaky’s tone because he sighed deeply from the other room.

“Whatever.”

Sneaky gave an internal cheer. That would be the best he’d get. He slid off his bed, turning out of his room right to the door next to his.

“Jensen?” He peered into the room, which was dark and silent. The mid-laner hadn’t even bothered to turn the lights on.

Jensen was sitting at his desk, staring blankly at the screen.

“What are you–? Oh.” Sneaky registered that the game they had lost was being replayed up on Jensen’s monitor. Not good.

“God, I fucked up,” Jensen muttered, his face expressionless as he continued to stare at the screen.

“Hey, hey, hey. No you didn’t. Come on, we already watched this once.” Sneaky walked over to the computer, clicking the monitor off. Jensen sprang to life, grabbing Sneaky’s wrist with lightning-quick reflexes.

“What, do you think you’re going to give me some inspirational bullshit about how it wasn’t my fault? How I totally belong on this team, even though I constantly fuck up, can’t even interact with my own team, and keep pushing everyone away? How it’s fine that it’s me on your team when it should be Hai? How it’s fine that because I joined, Meteos left? I don’t need your fucking lies.”

Sneaky’s eye were wide, mouth dropped open. “You’re hurting my wrist.”

Jensen glanced between them where his hand was gripping Sneaky’s wrist tightly. His knuckles and Sneaky’s wrist was white from the pressure. He quickly let go as if he had been burned, staring at his open palm.

A strange, choked sobbing noise escaped his mouth.

“Oh, God…Sneaky, I’m so sorry…just…fuck,” Jensen rambled, shoving himself away. “Please, it’ll be better if you just leave. For both of us.”

“No, Jensen. I’m not leaving. I’m not turning my back on my team when they need me the most. I’m not turning my back on you, when you need it the most. Not now. Not ever.” Sneaky pushed.

“I don’t deserve this.”

“Why not?”

“Why–? What? It’s obvious. I don’t belong on this team. I don’t deserve what I can’t give back.”

Sneaky shook his head sadly. “Jensen, what are you talking about? If anything, I’m the one who doesn’t give back. You give me so much, yet I’m too scared to take it and I’m too scared to reciprocate. I care about you Jensen. Let me help you.”

“The game was on me.” Jensen said dully.

“Would it help if I said it wasn’t? That it was on all of us?”

“Probably not.”

Sneaky moved closer, sitting on the bed next to Jensen’s gaming chair.

“What would help?”

“Sometimes…sometimes it helps for me to take the blame. To punish myself. It’s almost easier that way. So then, I can make an excuse for myself when you all decide that I don’t deserve this team. So that I can just use my losses as a way to comfort myself because I can’t own up to my other shit.”

Sneaky felt like he had been punched in the gut. Did Jensen really feel this way? Didn’t he know that the whole team was here for him every step of the way?

“Jensen…we all have shit. None of us would ever kick you out because of that.”

“Come on, dude. We all know this team was way better back with Meteos and Hai and Lemon and Balls. Me joining was what fucked it all up. It’s my fault they all left.”

“The rest of the team left because it wasn’t working out for them, Jensen. Not because of you. Besides, Contractz, Smoothie, Impact and Ray are all new. No one’s shitting on them for being here instead of the other guys. Teams change, everyone knows that.Besides, I’m the only original member left, so it’s fine. No one else here to be mad at you about the old team.”

Jensen turned to Sneaky, his face so infinitely sad that Sneaky’s heart ached.

“That’s the whole point. You’re the important part. This is all for you. Everything was always about you.”

Sneaky stifled a gasp of surprise.

“I-I’m…important?”

“Well, I thought that much was obvious. I hurt you, Sneaky. I ruined everything you had. Your friends left because of me. Meteos left because of me. I ruined a whole fucking relationship by joining this team. If I wasn’t here, you would be happy. You would have Meteos again and the rest of your team. You would have what you deserve now.”

Sneaky spun Jensen’s chair so the Danish boy was facing him.

“Jensen…Jensen, you have no idea how silly you are.” Sneaky whispered. “With you here, I’m happy. With you here, I have what I need. Me and Meteos…it was nothing serious. We both knew it. It was going to end either way. But you’ve changed me. With Meteos, I wanted no strings. I wanted no commitment. We had a night to ourselves and no one talked about it again.”

Sneaky paused and suddenly he realized he was tired. He was so tired of lying to himself and to Jensen. He was tired of being scared of love. The dam broke in Sneaky’s heart and he couldn’t stop the words that fell from his mouth.

“With you, I want it all. I want the whole mess of feelings and strings attached to every inch of us. I want to be committed to you. I want to remember every night and talk about it in the morning and never pretend that it didn’t happen. I want to laugh with you and cry with you. I want to kiss you when we win and kiss you when we lose. You‘ve shown me how to fall in love, Jensen.”

The AD Carry cupped his hands around Jensen’s slender face, which was painted with shock.

“Can we stop dancing around each other? Can we give in to what we both want? What we need?”

One of Jensen’s hands reached up, clutching onto Sneaky’s in disbelief. His pale storm-cloud eyes were wide, emotions flickering through them faster than Sneaky could read.

“God, yes,” Jensen whispered.

Sneaky let out a breathless laugh, suddenly unable to take his eyes off Jensen. He couldn’t stop staring, drinking in every inch of this beautiful, beautiful person. The moonlight from the window filtered in, illuminating Jensen from behind, making him look like he wore a silver halo of light around his head. Sneaky’s heart pounded in his chest embarrassingly loud, completely smitten with the boy in front of him.

Jensen leaned forward, his smile so soft, so sweet.

“Stop staring and fucking kiss me already,”

Sneaky let out an unattractive snort of laughter and pulled his mid-laner’s face to his.

He’s not gonna lie, this has been Sneaky’s dream for ages now and it couldn’t be more perfect. Jensen is so gentle, his lips so soft. It’s such a contrast to his rougher personality and Sneaky loves every bit of it.

He’s still cupping Jensen’s slender face, the mid-laner tentatively placing one hand on the back of Sneaky’s neck and the other resting lightly at his hip. Jensen kisses him like he’s afraid he’ll break, feather-light movements against Sneaky, and it’s so adorable that Sneaky can’t help but blush under the deliberate attention.

It’s silly that something so sweet and simple makes him unravel, but there’s something about Jensen that makes Sneaky feel like he’s holding the sun, the moon and all the stars in his hands. There’s something about Jensen that has made Sneaky change. That has made him into someone who can love with all of his heart and not be afraid to commit. There’s something about Jensen that makes Sneaky want to be tangled in every emotion and feeling and never be untied. Jensen makes him whole. He makes him alive.

Sneaky drags Jensen out of the gaming chair, pulling the tiny Danish boy on top of him and savoring every inch of this wonderful, glorious person. Jensen smells rich and spicy, like cinnamon and ginger, enveloping Sneaky in a warm and comforting aura. He tastes sugary sweet and slightly tangy, probably from his sparkling lemonade he had at dinner. Sneaky burns every memory into his mind because he doesn’t ever want to forget it.

The two part for air, breathless and gasping. Jensen’s pale face is flushed and his eyes are dark. His hair falls messily over his forehead and his Cloud 9 shirt is wrinkled. He’s the most breath-taking sight Sneaky has ever seen.

They lean forward, just bumping foreheads, resting there. Their hot breaths mingle as they just sit there, content to simply be. Jensen is in Sneaky’s lap and their arms are tangled around each other. Sneaky can’t tell where he starts and Jensen ends. He doesn’t want it to be any other way.

“Perfect,” Sneaky murmurs quietly.

“What is?” Jensen’s voice is shaky and breathless and Sneaky’s glad to see the kiss has affected him just as much.

“You. That kiss. Everything.” Sneaky rambles, looking at Jensen like the mid-laner was the only thing that mattered anymore. Jensen blushes, the corners of his mouth twitching with a bashful smile.

“Perfect,” He echoes and pulls Sneaky back in for another kiss.

Sneaky’s so far gone, so lost in everything about Jensen and it makes his head spin. He repeats his mantra in his head, drunk on the taste of Jensen’s kisses,

Perfect,

Perfect,

Perfect.

[onsumocom]

114 Best Happy Birthday Funny Quotes, Messages & Greetings in 2020

Happy Birthday Funny – I believe sincere people around you can make you a better person or can polish your personality. We can judge ourselves on our birthdays that what we have gained in the last year, from which point we started walking and have come to which position.

In the end, I would suggest grabbing the rope of God so that we can grow our personality and relation with God faster before our life comes to an end.

Best Happy Birthday Memes – Share with people around you

Funny Birthday Wishes For Girlfriend

no amount of words can ever be enough to express my feelings for you. happy birthday to the love of my life. wish you all the happiness in this world.

your smile can outshine a thousand candles. your touch can melt even the coldest heart. i love you today & every day.

your smile is sweeter than the sweetest cake in the world. thanks for being into my life. happy birthday to my sweet girlfriend.

i don’t believe in birthdays because i know you came straight from heaven to make my life happier & beautiful. all the good wishes for my angel.

i can’t wait to hold you in my arms & tell you how much this special day of yours means to me. happy birthday, dear.

you can make as many wishes as you want today. i promise you, i’ll make all your wishes come true one by one.

you are the perfect creation of god & the best gift any man has received in life. today is your birthday & i want to make sure it’s a special one.

you were born sweet & born for me to make my life a piece of heaven. i love you for everything you are. happy birthday.

i don’t know what good i did to deserve you but i do know that you deserve all the happiness in this world. happy birthday to my sweetheart.

i could buy you a thousand flowers but they would still be too petty to express what i feel for you.

i will always be there by your side loving you unconditionally and protecting you fiercely.

just as you blow the candles on your birthday cake, remember that there’s one flame endlessly burning in my heart, for you.

you have so many people wishing you on your birthday, but none of them holds the crazy-love for you that i have. love you to the moon and back.

your love is the spark of my life, the thrill of my fantasy; your touch starts the fire in me. be mine forever.

what do you get when you mix hotness and beauty and combine them both with a sexy personality.

i searched online and went to all the shops, old and new. but i could not find anything that was as pretty as you.

happy birthday to my love, my best friend, my agony aunt, my complaint hotline, my emergency contact, and my soul mate.

i am in fear because it’s your birthday! is it mandatory to bring a birthday gift for you? lol! i am just joking, happy birthday to you dear! i wish it will be your coolest birthday.

hey birthday girl, it’s your birthday! so, it’s your duty to make a treat for me, as i am wishing all the best things for you. let’s hurry for the treat.

you know how much i worried about your birthday cake! the chocolate cake is huge in size and it can make you fattier.

it’s your birthday! so, make sure you are going to properly utilize the day with a lot of monkey business! let’s have a crazy party.

your birthday is making you sexier with every passing year.

have i told you that you become more kissable on certain days of the year? today is one of them.

i don’t want anything from you, except for you to want me.

Happy Birthday Funny Quotes

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! (But it has also been scientifically proven that too many will kill you.)

Don’t let ageing get you down… it’s too hard to get back up again!

Middle age… when “happy hour” is a nap!

If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you’re a genius!

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Best Happy Birthday Quotes – For Everyone

What goes up but never comes down? Your age.

The tragedy of getting old: So many candles… so little cake

Technically you’re not 50. You’re only $49.95, plus tax!

They say you lose your mind as you grow older… what they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it much!

Age doesn’t make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~ Chili Davis

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. ~ Jack Benny

Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art. ~ Stanislaw Lec

Age is not important unless you’re a cheese. ~ Helen Hayes

I’ve reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Careful not to blow off that birthday candle too hard or your wig might come along with it too. Happy birthday! Stay Awesome!

A year closer to that hard earned pension. Congratulations! Wonderful Bday!

May you be as rich as Tony Stark, as handsome as Steve Rogers, as sexy as Thor, as sharp as Clint Barton and as green as the Hulk! Best Bday Superhero! Hope I won’t have to compare you to Nick Fury soon!

30 candles won’t fit the cake I bought for you. So I just got you 2. Happy 2nd birthday!

Growing up is a trap! Stay Play Station loving. Don’t stop building that Lego castle. But don’t forget to go to the office, buy groceries, pick your kids up after school and be home by dinner, Okay? Reality check. Welcome to the grown up life. Best bday!

I hope you do 100 other rotations around the Sun!

Being related to me is really the only gift you need. Just saying”

Forecast for your birthday: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions”

Happy Birthday Funny Wishes

Happy 29th birthday from your 110 lb. Friend.

Cheers to a hppy birthday

Happy baaaaaaa……Thday!

This card is late because… I forgot I’m very lazy I was helping batman fight crime

Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings, not count the years. – Ausonius

Total babe happy birthday

Party on wayne party on darth

I know you had lots of birthday wishes yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? Me, that’s who happy belated birthday

There were a lot of famous people born on your birthday. Too bad you aren’t one. May you grow wiser this year happy birthday!!!

Happy birthday to my favorite brother…Okay, so you’re my only brother, but if I had others you’d still be my favorite.

I bought you an awesome bottle of wine for your birthday! It tasted wonderful. I thought about you the entire time, though.

Every day you sparkle but today you rule! Happy birthday

Yay! Birthday time

Happy Birthday Messages – Simple and Unique [For Everyone]

I love you like I love cake at a birthday party. Don’t forget to invite me. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday. As you grow up, make sure you have more dreams than memories, more opportunities than chances, and more friends than acquaintances.

Happy birthday! A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are – even if you are getting older. Thank you for being that friend, and happy birthday.

Happy birthday to a very special cougar.

But, I wanted a mouse.

Happy birthday… You little spoonful of sugar

Heres your fucking cake you little shit

Friends come and friends go, but sisters never seem to leave. This was supposed to come out sounding nice. Happy birthday

Happy birthday to an old friend I’ve had since we were both young and stupid.

Happy birthday I hope that you have the greatest birthday ever from the moment you open your eyes in the morning until they close late at night.

One birthday will not make you old. Even a dozen will not make you old. Maybe you should have stopped counting there though. Happy birthday, again.

Happy Birthday Wife Funny

You are the nutella to my toast and the ice cream to my apple pie. Happy Birthday to my beautiful wife.

Happy Birthday. I love you more than I love bacon… and that’s a heck of a lot.

Happy Birthday to the only woman I would ever want as my co-pilot

A wrinkled old hag you are not. Hair growing from your nostrils and ears you have not. Smelling of mothballs and musk you do not. Growing old is most becoming to you, my dear. May you have a birthday full of merriment & good cheer surrounded by your family and friends. Happy Birthday, my incredible wife.

Happy 5th Anniversary of your 29th Birthday, Sweetheart!

Happy Birthday, my lovely wife! Today is the one day out of the year where I thank God for my mother-in-law.

Happy Birthday to my household CEO. You are one-in-a-million and I am so thankful you are my wife.

Congratulations, my darling wife. You are now considered a classic!

Sweetheart, according to the credit card statements you really love that trendy vintage clothing store downtown. I thought I could save money by finding you something vintage from another place you frequent often. After I dusted off some cobwebs and washed it a couple times to get the smell of mothballs off–I think this sweater from the back of your closet looks pretty good! Happy Birthday, my beautiful trendsetting wife!

Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife. If we had been on the Titanic and only had 1 door between us, I would have made room for you and never let you go.

Happy Birthday, my wife! Today we celebrate and you are not allowed to lift a finger. Dinner, laundry and cleaning will be taken care of… put your feet up and enjoy your day!

Happy Birthday to the one that still makes my heart skip a beat and my stomach do somersaults when she enters a room. I am so proud and blessed to be able to call you my wife!

“What’s in a name? That which we call a wife by any other name would smell like bundt cake.” I may not be Shakespeare and I might not look like Magic Mike but I am your husband and that suits me just right. I love you! Happy Birthday, my sweet!

You are so lucky to have me as your husband…but not as lucky as I am to have you as my beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent wife! Happy Birthday, my love!

Happy Birthday Wishes – Simple and Unique [For Everyone]

Happy Birthday Wife Funny Quotes

You are the best boss a husband could ever want! Happy Birthday, Sweetheart! Do I have any vacation or sick days left? I love you!

Happy Birthday to you! You don’t look a day over…26…22..er…19..?? I love you and your eternal youth! You grow more beautiful with each passing year.

Happy Birthday to my hot & sexy wife!!! Love, Your very own Mr. Grey

I would volunteer as Tribute for you, my darling. May the odds forever be in your favor.

I wake up every morning and thank the good Lord for Him bringing you into my life. Jerry Maguire said it best ‘you complete me’. Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife. I love you always and forever.

Beautiful wife, you are. Happy Birthday, it is. This light sabre, I gift you. Love, Your Jedi.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I think my wife is awesome and pretty great in bed too! Happy Birthday, beautiful!

Wife, for your birthday I have decided to give you something you have been wanting and pleading for years for. I hereby swear to no longer take my iPhone into the bathroom. See, my love for you knows no bounds!

Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife! How about tonight we go eat at that Chinese vegan restaurant you love, have a Downton Abbey marathon and then after that stroll down to that little coffee shop for the poetry reading—-said no man EVER!!

There are only 2 absolutes in this world: Chuck Norris is the biggest badass in Hollywood and my love for you is infinite.

I felt like I opened a Wonka bar and found my golden ticket when I met you. Happy Birthday to my beautiful wife. I look forward to the many wonderful, scrumdiddlyumptious years ahead.

If Doc Brown pulled up alongside me in his time machine and asked where & when I wanted to go… the day we 1st met so I could fall in love with you all over again (& then I’d probably ask to go back to the Wild West—who wouldn’t want to rob a bank with Wild Bill Hickok?!). Happy Birthday, wife.

Happy Birthday, my love! …and just so you know, I knew it was your birthday even before I saw it on Facebook.

I wrote on your Facebook wall to make it official. Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife.

You are another year older, wiser, and even more beautiful… I love everything about you and hope you have the best year yet. I love being able to call you my wife!!

Happy Birthday to the wife who has the best husband in the world! You are one marvelous woman!!

Happy birthday, dear wife! Will you have the goodness to take it easy on aging?

I’ve been around for a while to know that the more birthdays you celebrate, the more wrinkles God blesses you with. Happy birthday, honey!

Honey, as I pay my last respect to your youth, I have just realized that preventing you from aging will be a tough nut to crack! Happy birthday, though.

Happy birthday, my darling wife. Today is a testament that you are an expert at aging.

My dear, you keep piling up them years and you’ll soon start giving folks like Keith Richards and Methuselah a run for their money.

Happy birthday to my wrinkled yet gorgeously beautiful wife! Too many birthdays may have murdered your youth and wrinkled your skin, but I love you even more.

Honey, now you are really as old as your ancestors! More power to you!

Dear wife, you are more precious to me than all the gold reserves piled up in the United States Bullion Depository.

Happy Birthday to the one that still makes my heart skip a beat and my stomach do somersaults when she enters a room. I am so proud and blessed to be able to call you my wife!

Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife. If we had been on the Titanic and only had 1 door between us, I would have made room for you and never let you go.

Happy Birthday, my wife! Today we celebrate and you are not allowed to lift a finger. Dinner, laundry and cleaning will be taken care of…put your feet up and enjoy your day!

“What’s in a name? That which we call a wife by any other name would smell like bundt cake.” I may not be Shakespeare and I might not look like Magic Mike but I am your husband and that suits me just right. I love you! Happy Birthday, my sweet!

You are so lucky to have me as your husband…but not as lucky as I am to have you as my beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent wife! Happy Birthday, my love!

You are the best boss a husband could ever want! Happy Birthday, Sweetheart! Do I have any vacation or sick days left? I love you!

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