#you know its a bad pain day when LIFTING A PLASTIC FORK gives you troubles

[thedriftcr]

after a week of my body rebelling against me at all ends I will try to do replies and such.

[starstruck-xavier]

Fight Or Flight, Am I Right?

chapter two

ao3 || wattpad || fanfiction masterpost || main masterpost || chapter one

words: 1605 (total fic has 5122) ships: lamp (interpret it however you want) warnings: injuries

summary: When Virgil is feeling down, a dangerous, painful manticore-chimera fight turns out to be exactly what he needs.

a/n: i’m updating my fic posts so they all have the same format, so chapter two of one of my old fics is now its own post! and here it is-

“Good morning, Virge!” Patton chirruped as Virgil shuffled into the kitchen roughly 10 hours later. The fatherly trait donned his cat hoodie instead of the regular blue polo; Virgil pondered over whether today would be a much more relaxed day than normal. As for himself, he was still wearing his sweatpants and lilac t-shirt; its sleeves nearly swallowed his elbows and the bottom hem hung just above his knees, but it was comfortable, so the anxious trait didn’t mind its size. The pain was still burning mainly in his abdomen, arms and legs, but not quite as bad as last night, so he clambered onto the countertop by the fridge, wincing just a little. Normally, Patton would encourage him to sit somewhere else while he prepared food, but he let him have this today. Just this once.

The paternal trait came to retrieve something from the fridge, taking the opportunity to check on Virgil. “How are you feeling, kiddo? Can I check your bruises?” Virgil nodded, shrinking into himself self-consciously for a moment before straightening up to allow Patton to look. He didn’t particularly want to see the damage on his own body, instead turning to fixate on the reflection of the light on the fridge as Patton lifted up his t-shirt and felt around the hurting areas. Occasionally Virgil would lightly hiss at the touch, and the father figment would ramble his apologies, looking just slightly squeamish as he ensured that there were no serious injuries that had been missed when they were all tending to his unconscious self. Eventually, Patton let the shirt fall over Virgil’s body again, moving onto his hands and confirming that they were healing up nicely. Then, he looked for any bruising on his upper arms and shoulders (perhaps this was just him reassuring himself).

As he finished his drawn-out checkup, Logan and Roman entered the kitchen. Roman still wore his comfortable clothes, too. Even Logan was wearing something different this morning - a dark blue long-sleeve covered with doodles of planets and astronauts, complimenting his plain black pyjama pants. Today was definitely going to be relaxed. While Logan began to assist Patton in food preparation, Roman joined Virgil on the countertop.

“How’s the damage, Hot Topic?” Roman felt the medical patch on his shoulder with his left hand, frowning a little despite the usual energy he had tried to convey in his voice.

Virgil shrugged as best he could without feeling a spike of pain. “I haven’t really looked, but I feel bruised. I can only guess from my memory of what happened.” He glanced at the prince’s downcast expression. “How’s your shoulder?”

“Well, Logan said that the snake bite hit muscle but not bone, so it’s not as bad as it could be. It’s a good thing I’m ambidextrous though.” The sight of Roman looking so sombre broke Virgil’s heart just a little bit.

“Do you wanna play video games later? Your choice.” He nervously placed his bandaged hand on Roman’s uninjured shoulder, a comfort offering. The prince nodded, leaning into Virgil’s touch. They stayed on the counter, watching Logan and Patton at work until breakfast was ready for everybody.

Now sat in a chair after hopping off the countertop, Virgil picked at the meal, holding his fork as best he could.

“I think that we should all talk to Thomas today and update him on the situation.” Logan announced, watching everybody for a sign of protest, but received none, so he continued. “We’re not yet sure if he’s experiencing any second-hand effects.”

“He won’t have a creative block, will he, specs?” Roman glanced nervously around, switching his cutlery between his two hands.

“I doubt it, Roman. However, sometimes taking a break from brainstorming can yield even better ideas in the future. Despite the circumstances, this is a good opportunity to recharge, if you will, to prevent burnout.”

Roman looked a little more comforted. Light conversation ensued, travelling away from the looming situation back to how breakfast usually went. Bad jokes, laughs and groans filled the air. The two injured sides forgot about their miseries as they all discussed plans for the day and refuelled their bodies.

They all gradually dispersed after eating, Virgil being the last to finish as he tried not to cramp his bruised hands by holding the utensils. Roman waited for him nevertheless, his left hand returning to his right shoulder.

“You look sad, Roman.” Virgil turned to face him, reaching out to tap his hands on Roman’s left arm to stop him from picking at the patch. “If it’s hurting, I can get, like, a heat patch for you. I have some in my room.”

“Yeah?” Roman smiled gratefully, still with a hint of sadness in his eyes. “That’d be nice. That time I was wounded in my side, I learned how draining having that pain can be. But, while my injuries this time around aren’t that bad, I still feel just as bad because I let you get hurt too.”

“It’s okay, Ro. When Thomas was feeling so down yesterday, it was likely getting to me because it had been a while since I had that adrenaline rush. Besides, I could’ve stayed out and summoned the others instead, but I went in because my instinct was to keep you safe. Like I said last night, I can deal with some muscle pain. I have to, sometimes.”

“You have to?” The two got up from their chairs and made their way through the house.

“Yeah. You may not expect me to enjoy adrenaline, but if I can’t exercise my fight-or-flight instincts for a while I start to feel tired or lethargic. Then I end up not being prepared when something external makes Thomas panic. I was reluctant to join you at first yesterday because I didn’t know if I had the energy for it, and usually, I’d just do something like getting Thomas to watch a scary movie to give me a little more power for a while, but that fight I had really helped to restore my energy. Really, once my muscles feel fine again I’m gonna feel so much better at my job. You helped me out, Princey.” The anxious trait noticed how Roman’s face brightened and couldn’t help grinning.

He led Roman to the purple door with his signature stormcloud printed onto it, then rummaged through his drawers for the heat patches. He grabbed a few for himself before peeling off the back cover of one, fumbling through his thinly bandaged hands. During this time, the prince sat on Virgil’s unmade bed and watched him prepare the patch. “I’ll stick it onto your t-shirt, it’s not recommended directly on the skin.” The anxious trait crouched in front of Roman and touched his shoulder with great care, applying it onto the fabric which covered the patch. “The heat will last for about eight hours, but if it gets too hot you can just peel it off, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Roman nodded, looking brighter than before. “Thank you, Virge.”

Virgil straightened up again with a nod, quickly pulled a black long-sleeve from a different drawer and put it on underneath his t-shirt, which was easy to do without taking it off due to the size of it, then began to apply his own patches in between the two layers. He stuck one to each side of his ribs before gathering the plastic packaging and depositing it into a wastebasket. The heat helped both of them, providing comfort to Roman’s shoulder and relief to Virgil’s sides.

The feeling of being summoned suddenly tugged at both of them. “That’ll be Logan and Patton.” Roman grinned. “I’ll see you there, stormcloud.”

—

Roman rose up in front of the television and Virgil appeared by the staircase, both at the same time.

“Hey, guys!” Thomas excitedly looked around. “I’m so glad you two are safe! Logan and Patton have just brought me up to speed.”

“Greetings, Thomas!” Roman instantly adapted his royal persona, only slightly hindered by his injury. “It is great to be back.”

“Hey, Thomas.” Virgil said, suddenly feeling a little nervous. “Are you… physically okay?”

“Yeah, I’m not feeling pain or anything, although I did feel very panicky, I assume when you were in that fight.”

A pang of guilt was felt in Virgil’s heart. “O— oh, I’m sorry, Thomas, I didn’t realise—“

“No, no, it’s okay, Virge. I called some friends and was able to take care of it. I could tell from the feeling that you were in trouble and you couldn’t control it. I’m just happy you’re okay. Or, at least, safe. Are you okay, Virgil?” Thomas glanced at the anxious side, noticing how he wrapped his arms around his abdomen.

He hummed uncertainly. “I’m in a lot of pain, but I’ve experienced it before.” Upon curious looks from everybody except Roman, he recounted what he was saying to the prince before. As he finished, Logan seemed to think for a moment.

“Perhaps, in the future, we should work with Roman in the imagination to make an area in which Virgil can exercise his fight-or-flight without running the risk of injury.”

“That’s a great idea, Logan!” Patton exclaimed, looking towards Roman to see what he thought. “Do you think you can do that, Roman?”

“Yes,” Roman pondered, already thinking of ideas. “I think that would be fantastic! Virgil and I can construct a safe zone within the imagination. How do you feel about that, stormcloud?”

Virgil nodded, feeling a little better. “Yeah, let’s do that once we’re both fully healed.”

“And after I’ve beaten you at every video game in existence.”

“Sure, Sir Sing-A-Lot.”

[uraberika]

Calamity

Title: Calamity Characters: Kidou Yuuto, Fudou Akio, Sakuma Jirou Pairing: KdFd Rated: T  Genres: Angst, General Words: 3827 words Summary:  "It’s been two weeks now, Kidou thought to himself lying in bed. Two weeks since Fudou started acting strangely. For two weeks now, every night, Kidou would stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with Fudou." On other platforms: ff.net / ao3  Author’s note: So I was told that it was @ygreczed‘s birthday this week and I wanted to make something for it.^^ So here it is, I hope you’ll enjoy this fic and HAPPY BIRTHDAY YGREC! 🎉

It’s been two weeks now, Kidou thought to himself lying in bed. Two weeks since Fudou started acting strangely. For two weeks now, every night, Kidou would stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with Fudou. He barely sees him now. He always comes home late, exhausted and annoyed. He complains a lot. Well, more than he usually does. One time, he tripped over the threshold and started arguing with Kidou for it. As if it was his fault that Fudou wasn’t paying attention! Kidou knew that Fudou can be childish sometimes, but this time it was something else. It was as if Fudou was deliberately avoiding him.

Kidou looked over to his partner, who was sleeping next to him, turned to the wall, his back facing Kidou. What is with Fudou? Is it something with work? No, he would have told him that, or he would have heard of it since they both worked at Kidou’s company. Then, is it something concerning friends? Kidou tried to imagine any situation involving friends where Fudou would be this silent. He couldn’t think of anything like that. Fudou, well, isn’t the friendliest person, and he doesn’t care much about friends. Well, at least, he doesn’t show it. Besides, Kidou knew all of Fudou friends. He hadn’t heard anything from Sakuma or Genda, so he crossed out this reason on his list too.

Then what has gotten into Fudou? Kidou started to chew on the nail on his middle finger, a bad habit he almost managed to outgrow. Unfortunately, when times of serious trouble arrived, Kidou still got into the habit of nail chewing. And this situation was more than simple trouble.

Was he cheating on him? Is that why he’s avoiding him? That can’t be possible, can it? Kidou frowned. That just can’t be it, he’s just being paranoid. It must be something else. Kidou let out a small sigh as he made a decision.

For two weeks now, he has been silent. Waiting for Fudou to open up to him and talk about his problems. That usually did the trick. But not this time. “Why?” Kidou was wondering and decided to ask Fudou about it right away in the morning, when he wakes up.

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But next day Kidou woke up alone in his bed. As he wandered to the kitchen, still a bit dizzy from sleeping, he noticed a little piece of paper on the kitchen counter. He lifted it up as he read it.

“Urgent call from work. Will be working late. Don’t wait with dinner. F.”

‘Well, a little bit harsh, aren’t we?’ Kidou murmured to himself as he took a mug from the cupboard to make some coffee. It’s not like he expected a “love you”, or something, Fudou wasn’t like that. Still, they’ve been living together for almost two years now, and this quickly scraped note was a little bit too distant for Kidou. He was sure that something was going on, but he didn’t let himself think about it too much, or he would end up thinking about it all day, and that would help nothing. He would ask Fudou about his behavior right after he gets back, he decided as the coffee machine started rattling.

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The front door closed with a loud bang, signaling the arrival of Fudou. Kidou suppressed a sigh as he remarked to himself that Fudou is - yet again - more annoyed than usual. He looked at the clock and decided not to blame the poor guy since, according to the clock, Fudou has stayed at work two hours longer than he should have been. Well, if he was working at all, a small voice said in Kidou’s mind but he tried to brush it off.

‘You’re home?’ Kidou asked as Fudou entered the kitchen, where Kidou was cooking dinner.

‘What do you think?’ Fudou growled and ran a hand through his hair. Kidou’s eyes flashed with hurt for a moment, but he didn’t reply. He silently turned off the cooker and started to fill two bowls with freshly cooked carbonara. He brought them to the table and slammed one of them in front of Fudou, who was about to sit down. Fudou stopped in mid-motion, staring at Kidou intently. There were no words spoken; only the clutter of plastic could be heard.

‘Stop throwing a tantrum,’ Fudou huffed finally and sat down. Kidou snickered and crossed his arms in front of his chest. This pose would have put the most self-confident ones at unease but not Fudou. Besides Kidou wasn’t half as frightening without his goggles and with an apron on his waist.

‘Me?’ Kidou asked, his voice low as he struggled to hold back his anger. ‘I’m the one who’s throwing a tantrum?!’ his voice was full of accusation.

Fudou just shrugged in response and started to eat.

Kidou didn’t follow him. ‘No, you’re going to listen to me this time, Fudou.’ The mentioned one looked up, a few strings of spaghetti still hanging from his mouth. He raised an eyebrow and his expression screamed “this is going to be interesting”.

‘I’ve been patient,’ Kidou started. ‘I’ve waited for you, day after day. Every night, even if it meant staying up ‘till 3 a.m. But now, I have to ask: what the hell is going on with you?’

‘Nothing,’ Fudou mumbled as he swallowed the spaghetti. ‘Just work,’ but his eyes didn’t meet Kidou’s.

‘Yeah, try to make someone else believe that,’ Kidou rolled his eyes angrily. Fudou was now listening. He looked straight into Kidou’s eyes and asked: ‘Do you doubt my words?’

‘I didn’t. For two weeks, I swallowed all your petty little tantrums, all your anger and avoidance without a word, waiting for an explanation. But it never came. So, please excuse me, if I dare to be fed up and ask you what the hell is going on with you!’ Kidou raised his voice.

‘Whatever…’ Fudou growled and put down his fork. ‘I’m not hungry anymore,’ he stated and got up. He put on his jacket and fished out his mp3 player from one of its pockets.

‘Where are you going?’ Kidou still struggled to keep his voice down. ‘We’re not done! You can’t just leave me when I’m talking!’ his voice was now filled with both anger and disbelief.

‘I’m going for a run,’ Fudou growled. ‘Don’t wait with breakfast!’ he said and was gone.

Kidou stared at the closed door for a few seconds before sighing loudly in frustration. Fudou could be such a… pain in the ass, yeah, that was the word Sakuma used for him. Still, there was something fishy about Fudou’s constant grumpiness and late arrivals. Kidou started to pace the hall as an idea formed in his mind. It wasn’t an idea befitting for a genius game maker, but it was the only one he could think of at the moment. He sighed as he put on his coat, stepped over the threshold, and locked the door behind him. It’s time to find out what Fudou has been hiding from him for the past weeks.

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Kidou took a deep breath of the chilly night air. He squinted his eyes in an attempt to find Fudou, which he immediately succeeded in. Fudou was jogging right in front of him, just a couple of meters away, headphones on and probably on max volume since the former midfielder didn’t notice Kidou closing the door. Kidou quickly slid behind a tree as a familiar feeling flooded his muscles. It was just like in the old times. But there was no time for reminiscence, he reminded himself as he slowly started to follow Fudou in the shadows. Spying was like riding a bicycle. Once learned, never forgotten. Kidou felt a small tingling in his gut, reminding him that spying on his boyfriend wasn’t exactly a correct thing to do, but he pushed the feeling away. Kidou followed Fudou, who seemed to be really running and not doing anything suspicious. At least from what Kidou could tell, which was rather little considering that peeking over a tree didn’t give the best view. He leaned a bit more forward as pain stung in his back. Yeah, that definitely went better back at the age of 14, he thought. But he continued to follow Fudou nevertheless, slipping behind tree after tree, silently as a cobra.

‘Oy, watch your step!’ a familiar voice cried and made Kidou stop in his tracks as he quickly hid behind a bin.

‘Watch your step!’ Fudou growled back.

‘Good evening to you too, Fudou,’ the voice replied, which Kidou suddenly realized belonged to his eye patched friend, Sakuma. Fudou huffed something under his breath, which Kidou couldn’t really understand.

‘Out for a night run?’ Sakuma asked, completely ignoring Fudou’s lack of enthusiasm for small talk.

‘Yeah, whatever,’ Fudou answered as he tried to get past him. Kidou peeked out from behind the bin just in time to see it.

‘Oy, don’t give me the cold shoulder like that!’ Sakuma complained.

‘Fuck off,’ was Fudou’s only response, and it made Kidou swallow hard. Yes, Fudou was a jerk in general, but he never really swore in the presence of friends. And Sakuma was definitely one of Fudou’s most precious (and very few) friends even though he never admitted it.

‘What the hell is going on with you?’ Sakuma asked, immediately comprehending that there was something wrong as he stepped in Fudou’s way.

Fudou let out a frustrated groan. ‘Why is everyone asking me this today?’

‘What? Who asked you this today?’ Sakuma asked confused. Fudou didn’t reply. ‘Was it Kidou?’ Sakuma tried but got no answer. ‘Oh my God, you guys had a fight!’ he shouted as he put the pieces together.

‘No,’ Fudou answered. And that was where he made a mistake.

Sakuma sighed. ‘I know you’re lying, Fudou. Regarding the time and place of our unexpected meeting, why don’t we just skip that half hour where you’ll try to deny the fact you two had a fight and just tell me what’s going on? ’

A few seconds passed, only the sound of the wind could be heard. Kidou could almost hear the gears turning in Fudou’s mind as he pondered over his next step.

‘Fine,’ Fudou sighed, annoyed. ‘Yes, we had a fight. So what? Couples do that sometimes,’ Kidou could hear the fake indolence in his voice.

‘Oh my God, Fudou,’ Sakuma replied. Kidou didn’t see him, but he knew that he was massaging his temples. ‘What did you do this time? Please don’t tell me you set the kitchen on fire again!”

Fudou just snorted in response. ‘I did nothing, Kidou’s just a jerk!’ Kidou’s heart twisted strangely in his chest at these words.

‘And why exactly is he a jerk, now?’ Sakuma asked. ‘Come on, Fudou, I can’t stand here all night long!’

‘He thinks I’m cheating on him, the idiot.’ Kidou felt like the air has stopped circulating in his lungs. Would he really be that obvious?  

‘Wh-what?’ Sakuma asked is shock. ‘And… is he right?’

‘Of course not!’ Fudou huffed. ‘But I see it in his eyes. Every time, I arrive home late, it’s in his eyes. The doubt and the questioning. But he won’t say a thing, the damn bastard. He thinks with his silence he can break me! But he won’t!’ Fudou’s voice was full of determination.

‘What? I can’t follow you… What have you been hiding from Kidou?’ Sakuma asked in a cagey tone.

‘Work,’ Fudou answered. ‘Yeah, I arrive home late from work and guess what? I’ve been actually working, doing overtime! Wrap your head around that one, you genius game maker!’ he let out a slightly crazed laughter.

‘Oh, that’s all?’ Sakuma asked, relieved. ‘Damn, and I thought Kidou is a drama queen!’ he shook his head in disbelief.

‘You know, for five damn years, I’ve been working at Kidou’s company which he had taken over after his father, and this is finally a breakthrough!’

‘What breakthrough?’ Sakuma asked.

‘I’ve been assigned a task. A big one, actually. There’s this annual meeting of these big bosses around the business world, and guess which company organizes it this year? Kidou’s company, of course! I fought my way through a bunch of losers and got to be head of the event organizing department just for this special occasion. This means that I have to work my ass off, but if this event succeeds, my boss told me, I would get a promotion. And not just some lame-ass promotion with some raise, this promotion includes a company car and other good shit like that. I won’t screw this up!’ Fudou said with serious determination in his voice. ‘But y’know this is some tough shit. Like, I have to pick balloons, order chairs and decide on speeches and seating orders. I’ve been working all day and all night, and it’s driving me crazy. Yesterday, I hadn’t even had a break! I couldn’t even eat a fucking sandwich! So, excuse me Mr. Genius Successful Businessman Kidou Yuuto for feeling a bit tense just because I had a rough day!’ Fudou almost screamed the last sentence, and Kidou shuddered behind the bin.

‘Calm down you idiot, it’s almost 9 o’clock! Do you want to make a scene?’ Sakuma rolled his eyes. ‘Look, Fudou, I’ve never thought I would say this to a guy like you, but you’re overcomplicating things. Just go and tell Kidou the truth, you dummy, and then maybe he can actually help with your problem. You know, talking usually helps,’ Kidou could hear the smile in Sakuma’s voice, and it made him smile too. Yes, Fudou could be dramatic sometimes.

‘No!’ Fudou grunted. ‘I’ve been living off of Kidou for two years now; I’ve been eating his food, using his car and electricity, and I never managed to actually contribute to the place’s budget properly. With this promotion, I will finally be able to become a real member of this household. We could finally do the fifty-fifty thing we talked about when I moved in with Kidou.  I know he doesn’t mind me not really contributing to the budget considering the filthily rich idiot he is, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I don’t wanna be some stray hobo who got taken in by Kidou because of pity or something. I’m his boyfriend, goddamit! I should be able to pay for my food. So, I don’t want Kidou’s help. I’m going to do this one on my own! Finally, something on my own… Don’t you see? I have a chance to finally give back!’

‘Fudou…’Sakuma mumbled, and Fudou finally caught himself. He said too much, damn it!

‘I mean, you wouldn’t get this anyway since you’re too much of a coward to go and move in with that lion haired freak Genda,’ he huffed.

‘Hey, don’t drag my life into this!’ Sakuma complained. ‘We were talking about your problems!’

‘Anyway, I should get back to Kidou, who is probably pretending to be asleep by now. Can’t fuck up this guy’s schedule, or I won’t be able to get away from the interrogation in the morning,’ Fudou said and turned around. Kidou felt his heart jump to his throat. Shit! If Fudou sees him now… The thought made him shiver, and cold sweat slid down on the back of his neck. He leaned slightly back to the bin, looking for support in the metal object.

‘What the hell? Did that bin just quiver?’ Fudou asked as suspicion crawled to his mind. He made his way to the bin mumbling “I swear to God if this is you, I’ll fucking kick you in the head”. He circled around the bin but there was no one.

‘You’re starting to get paranoid,’ he heard Sakuma’s chuckle from behind.

‘Oh just shut it!’ Fudou snorted and turned his back on Sakuma and started to head in the direction where he came from.

‘Have a nice evening you too, Fudou!’ Sakuma called after him, irony in his tone, but Fudou didn’t answer.

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The next day Fudou woke up with a headache. He grabbed his forehead in an attempt to tamper the throbbing pain as he realized that all this stress was starting to get to him. And now he’ll probably have to deal with Kidou’s questions, oh no, not this shit again, please, he’s weak in the mornings, oh God what if he’ll bake pancakes for breakfast, if there’s pancake for breakfast, he’s going to break, and he’s not ready for this… He was already listing the excuses as he turned over, braced himself to meet the crimson eyes, but Fudou’s eyes were only met with white sheets.  Kidou wasn’t in bed. In fact, he wasn’t even in the house anymore, Fudou noticed, since his briefcase was gone from the desk too. That’s strange. Even though of the two of them, Kidou was the early bird and the night owl in one person, he usually woke Fudou up right before the alarm clock. Fudou hated alarm clocks. He thought they could have been invented by only the devil himself, since no one else would ever think of anything as cruel as an alarm clock. He thanked God for waking up just one minute earlier to shut the devilish device off before it could have started to make noise. He growled and got out of bed. Looks like, Kidou has moved on from the “being silent ‘till he speaks” stage to the next level. Which is apparently called “sulking”. Oh, well. Fudou tried not to take it to heart too much but failed right after finishing brushing his teeth. What the hell is wrong with Kidou, he wondered as he put on his freshly cleaned white shirt. He’s not supposed to be sulking; he is supposed to know that Fudou is not cheating on him! After all, he is the genius of the two of them, Fudou smiled bitterly to himself as he straightened his tie. He put on his jacket, took a bite from the toast that had been probably left from the other day, considering that Fudou had the impression of chewing on a rock. He washed down the toast with a glass of water, and off he went, locking the door behind him. He quickened his steps since he was about two minutes late and if the bus magically appeared two minutes early, he would miss it. Fudou never cared about punctuality ever in his life, but he quickly learned at the company that pretending to care about it and arriving on time certainly helped one’s reputation. At first, Fudou had thought that office work wasn’t meant for him. Tossing papers and typing letters were never his thing, but it was surprisingly easier then it seemed. After half a year, he got used to it. He would never confess it to anyone (not even to himself), but he started to like it a little. It gave a certain rhythm to his life. It gave him security, the safe feeling of having a stable place somewhere that always has the same demands. It gave him a feeling of reassurance, and it made him more confident. Not the snarling-I’m-better-than-everyone type of confidence but the I-have-a-stable-job-and-a-stable-income-even-though-it’s-not-that-much kind of confidence.

Fudou was lucky this time. The bus wasn’t early so he caught it just in time. Yet, even pressed against a bunch of people on the crowded bus, Fudou was still thinking about Kidou. He felt a strange nervousness, which was tying his stomach in a knot. Could it be… guilt? But why was he feeling guilty? He shouldn’t be, he grounded himself. He did nothing wrong. Quite the opposite. He was only trying to help Kidou. Yet, the strange feeling didn’t leave. It was there when Fudou got off the bus, it was there while he was walking to the metro, and it was there when he entered the huge glass-windowed building with the company’s name on it. By the time he entered the elevator, Fudou wanted to throw up. He pushed number 9 on the control panel and made a decision. He has to tell him, there’s no other way. Fudou can’t survive another day with this feeling in his stomach. He blamed Sakuma for it, for the fact that he suggested that Fudou should tell him. As if it never crossed his mind! He had to admit it, he thought about it a couple of times. But he knew that once he told him, there would be no way of stopping Kidou from helping. Which meant that Fudou would feel helpless and lame as a baby, who still needs his mommy to do everything for him. Still, he had to tell him. Because no matter how freaking badly Fudou wanted the job, he wanted Kidou even freaking more. Some damn raise and a car are not worth breaking up, Fudou decided. By the time the elevator reached ground 9, Fudou had formed a full plan for an apology that sounded rather apologetic but not humiliating. He would go right now to Kidou’s office on the 6th floor, Fudou decided. He should be attending to the finalization of the guest list, but he decided that it can wait a bit. This is urgent matter! He would just put his bag down and head to the 6th floor immediately. Fudou, as the knot in his stomach eased a bit, opened the door of his own office. Well, it wasn’t completely his, he shared it with a colleague, but he had got the flu and had been absent all week. It wasn’t exactly a big office, nothing fancy, just two desks on the two sides of the room with a swivel chair for each. To the left, Fudou could see his colleague’s desk, topped with files and papers waiting for his return. And on the other side, there was Fudou’s desk. Fudou squinted his eyes suspiciously as he made his way to it. There was something strange on his desk, something that resembled a package. As he arrived at his desk, he could clearly make out the object now; it was a well-stuffed sandwich, wrapped in clear foil with the logo of a nearby sandwich bar on it. There was also a post-it note next to the sandwich. Fudou picked it up and read it. “This is the only help you’ll get from me. - K.” the small piece of yellow paper said. Fudou let out an amazed chuckle.

‘You bastard! Once a spy, always a spy, huh?’ he stared at the note in astonishment. ‘I guess we’re even now,’ Fudou nodded with an amused smile at the note. He opened his sandwich and took a big bite of it. Then he sat down and pulled a stack of paper in front of him. After all, these guest lists won’t write themselves!