#you know i just want to disappear for a moment

[sekishalmon]

I've never had an "oh. OH" moment when it came to my sexuality. I'm bisexual. I tell my online and real life friends that I am bisexual, but I'm still confused. I've never felt real love, like, I've never had a true crush on another person. When I do have a crush, it takes a week for me to feel like I'm only feeling envy and a want to be like others (as in, a want to like people romantically, like how others do), not actual love. Though, I have felt a bit of attraction to both fictional men and women, but when I try to feel that way towards others who are not fictional, it feels like I'm trying to gaslight myself. "You like this person." "You want to have an affectionate relationship with this person." That's what I tell myself, then I suddenly think, "do I?" And all the feelings disappear. I don't know what to do. Should I just wait for that one person who'll make my life more brighter, then wonder what my actual sexuality is? I'm so confused.

The Gentle Wind

[starless-nightz]

Remember me

note -> ACT 3 SPOILERS!!! I am NOT okay!

parts -> part one | [part two]

pairing -> Jinx X fem! reader, platonic! Isha X fem! reader

summary -> You will always remember them.

warnings -> mentions of death.

content includes -> angst, death, suicidal thoughts, Vi and Ekko appear.

Life with Jinx and Isha felt perfect in a way you never thought possible.

The three of you spent most of your days hidden away in your workshop or Jinxs lair because of her wanted status. But you never minded it. If anything, you cherished the quiet moments the three of you shared.

Your days together were filled with laughter and creativity—tinkering with inventions, sketching out wild ideas, and playing games that felt like they belonged in a world far kinder than Zaun.

On rare occasions, you’d venture out into the Undercity together, blending into its chaos and finding moments of joy in its grim corners.

And at night, when everything settled, you’d find yourself lying between them. Isha’s small frame curled up beside Jinx, and Jinx’s breath soft, her head laying on your shoulder.

You’d look at them, the two people who had somehow become your entire world, and feel a warmth in your chest.

In those moments, you let yourself believe it could last. That the three of you could stay like this forever—safe, whole, and happy.

But Zaun isn't a place for dreams.

And you were wrong.

You were so, so wrong.

————

It all happened so fast.

In one moment you were fighting alongside Jinx and in the next Isha was running towards Vander, Jinxs gun held tightly in her small hands.

You knew what she was going to do as she put two more hextech gemstones in the gun, and Jinx knew it very well too.

You two tried to get to her, calling out her name, trying to stop her from doing it, but you two were stopped by Vi, pulling you both back as you two despreatly called for the little girl.

The only thing you could do in that moment was watch as Isha shot a finger gun at you two before firing the real gun upwards, closing her eyes, feeling at peace knowing she was protecting you two.

And your world slowly started shattering into tiny pieces.

————

You knew you couldn't do anything.

You know you couldn't save her.

Jinx has already accepted her fate a long time ago, she wasn't scared of death and she made peace with it.

"Always with you sis." Jinx said as Vi tried to pull her up. Jinx quickly removed the hextech gemstone from Vis gauntlets, making them power off and letting Jinx go.

Jinx looked at you with a small smile on her face as she started fallling. You screamed her name as you watched her fall before an explosion went off.

And in that moment your whole world shattered into tiny pieces.

————

"Is there anything so undoing as a family?" you whispered, your words barely audible over the soft hum of Piltover below.

Your knees were brought up close to your chest, arms wrapped tight around them as your fingers absently traced the jagged edges of the bomb's shattered metal head of the bomb that had taken her life.

Vi and Ekko sat beside you in silence, their gazes fixed on the distant glow of the city. Neither of them said a word, and you couldn't bring yourself to fill the void.

They didn't know you well, not really; just a shared face in their grief, a faint reflection of their own shattered hearts. But in this moment, words didn't matter.

Each one of you had lost the most significant person in your life that day. A single point of light went out in a way that no amount of tears, anger, or revenge would ever balance.

Jinx was gone.

And nothing would ever bring her back.

————

You knew your couldn't bring Jinx and Isha back, you know that the hole in your heart will never disappear.

You stood in Jinxs destroyed lair, holding onto one of her explosions as you looked down into the abyss.

You didn't want to live anymore, there was no reason for you to be alive. The only two people that made your life worth living for were gone, and you couldn't bring them back.

You wanted to end your life.

But before you could leap from the ledge a voice stopped you, making your ears perk up.

"Whatcha doing, toots?"

[alchemistc]

Buck's halfway through his third cup of startlingly bad coffee when Josh pushes the door to the breakroom open, looking mildly concerned in the half second before someone else looms over his shoulder.

He's too numb to do much more than take another sip of coffee as he watches Josh usher Tommy in.

The door clicks shut behind him. Buck wonders for a moment if Tommy's ever actually been to the new dispatch headquarters before. If he ever went to the old one, charming grin on his face while he waited for Abby to finish up so he could take her out, drive her home while her car was in the shop - but no, Tommy would have worked on it himself, maybe.

Had Josh recognized him, that first time, with half of his soot on Buck's face, and just never said anything?

The silence is tense. They're in a fishbowl, no room to lash out even if either of them wanted to because more than half the people working in this place can see them if they just tip their head to the side.

"How can I help?"

It's - his voice is strained, scared, worried. Buck doesn't have a single guess as to how he knows. Maybe Bobby. It's the only person he can think of who would have -.

Buck snorts. "I rebounded with a serial killer who just kidnapped my sister and my baby niece or nephew. I don't - I'm not sure what you want."

He glances up just in time to see the end of Tommy's grimace. Good. He's not sure how much more disastrous of a choice he could have made to try to get Tommy out of his system, but at least it hurts him to know. At least...

"Do you want me to go?"

Buck can't remember anyone asking, before. Usually they just... leave. Get up, walk out, disappear. Tommy bubbled Buck five times in three months. Buck went through seven bags of flour before he drove Eddie to the airport.

His voice shakes on his "No," and Tommy is there, all of the sudden, his hand hovering just over Buck's shoulder, like he realized halfway there it might not be welcome. "Do you still think I need to keep looking for someone better than you?"

It'd been seeing Tommy out with a guy that'd prompted him to stop fucking baking and make an effort to just...get over it But with Eddie away, and the rest of the 118 so wrapped up in their lives, there weren't a whole lot of outlets for that. And it's been easy to willfully misinterpret Tommy's breakup speech. Or - interpret it in the most hurtful way possible.

"Is this what you want to do right now?" Tommy asks, even and measured. "Will this help?"

"I want my sister back!"

Tommy takes a step back. His hands shift to his pockets, and Buck just wants -

"Why are you here?"

He tips his head up. Holds Tommy's gaze. Tommy flounders in a way Buck's never seen before.

He looks - tired. Good. White Henley under a flannel Buck had always told him brought out his eyes. The jeans Buck had stolen once or twice because they made his ass look good. His hair's grown in at the sides, and the sprinkling of greys are more obvious than the last time he'd seen it this length.

"I just... didn't want you to be alone."

Tears threaten at the corners of his eyes. He wants to laugh, but he's terrified if he starts he won't be able to hold in the fear. "When did that change?"

Tommy gnaws on his cheek. "You have so many people, Buck. You have -."

"I don't want emotional repression Tommy here, so if you're just here to keep me distracted until someone else can be here you should just... go."

Something flashes in his gaze. Anger, maybe. Terror.

"Please let me stay."

It hurts, to hear it. It hurts to hear the trepidation in his voice as he says it. Buck just wants to pull him in, tuck his face into the curve of his neck, soak in the warmth of his arms.

Buck spends too long staring at his knees. Long enough for Tommy to shift, to sigh, to nod his head decisively out of the corner of Buck's eye.

The word is stuck in his throat. Has been for months, since Tommy looked at him with teary eyes and walked away.

"I won't be able to let you go again."

He's already half turned away. Buck can only see half his expression as his eyes dip closed. He swallows. Nods, again.

Buck can't watch him push back through that door, so he stares at the toes of his boots until his vision starts to blur.

A second pair of toes swim into his eyeline. A hand shifts through his curls, snagging on knots, digging towards his scalp, and he can't quite bite back the sob. The arms that reach for him are warm, big and familiar, and Buck gives himself over to the panic and the fear that have been clawing at his chest for hours now. Tommy says something - whispers it into the air above Buck's head over and over, but Buck can't - he just -

He presses his face into Tommy's stomach, digs his fingers into the back of his shirt, sucks in horrible, gasping breaths. It's not enough. Nothing will be until he's got Maddie in his arms.

But it's more than he had an hour ago.

"Stay," he manages, and Tommy's fingers curl around Buck's neck and hold.

[chososcamgirl]

(SHE’S) JUST A PHASE CHAPTER NINETEEN: toothpaste

masterlist

*if you want the full sjap chososcamgirl experience click here!

Toothpaste.

That was all she needed.

The familiar jingle of the doorbell sounded as she stepped into the pharmacy, its ring echoing briefly before being swallowed by the soft hum of fluorescent lights above. She moved past the aisles with purpose, the faint scent of antiseptic and the bittersweet smell of charcoal lingering in the air.

At the counter, a brown-haired girl in her late twenties leaned against the register, lazily blowing out smoke from a cigarette.

"Shoko," her name tag read in bright red letters.

Pretty name.

"Hey," she muttered, a casual greeting as she passed. The girl didn't look up, but offered a half-hearted smile, her eyes unfocused as she exhaled smoke, lost in whatever thoughts dulled her day.

Toothpaste.

The word repeated in her head like a quiet mantra, the task simple, mundane. She wandered down the aisles with mechanical precision, her gaze flicking over shelves of medicines and other pharmacy essentials.

Her fingers brushed against boxes, but she didn't really look at them. She wasn't here to linger.

And then she stopped.

A stillness took hold of her. Her body froze mid-step, her pulse quickening in a way that had nothing to do with the cold air of the aisle.

In the distance, there was a figure. His back was to her, his face buried in his hands, almost in a gesture of resignation or frustration. His stance was familiar in an unsettling way, as if he was trying to disappear into the shelves, as if he were searching for something he didn't know how to find.

She stood there for what felt like an eternity, the hum of the lights suddenly deafening in her ears. The shape, the posture, the way his shoulders slumped-it was him.

For a moment, she debated standing there. Still, until he noticed her. 

Then, just as her mind screamed at her to stay, she saw him start to turn—his head shifting, eyes beginning to look her way.

Her heart slammed against her ribcage, and without thinking, she bolted. She pivoted on her heel, her breath quick and shallow as she darted toward the next aisle, her legs carrying her as fast as they could.

She whips out her phone in frustration and starts furiously typing.

“Hey.”  

She freezes, fingers hovering over the screen of her phone, her mind torn between the message she was about to send and the voice she recognizes. Slowly, she looks up.  

His gaze locks with hers.  

Megumi Fushiguro.  

Her eyes narrow, irritation flaring as she exhales sharply. Without a word, she pushes past him, intent on finding what she came for. 

Toothpaste.  

The aisle ahead is a chaotic jumble of brightly coloured shampoo and conditioner bottles—too many choices, too many distractions. She weaves through the sea of products, her focus narrowing to the search for the one thing she came here for.  

“Yn, please, I’m sorry.”  

The words make her blood boil. God, she hates the tone he’s using. It’s almost like he doesn’t get it.  

She bites her lip, trying to ignore the sting of his voice, but before she can refocus, she feels his hands settle gently on her shoulders. It takes all her willpower not to jerk away.  

Not now, Megumi. 

Finally, she spins around, giving him the sharpest glare she can muster.  

“What do you want, Megumi?” she spits, every syllable laced with frustration.  

His frown deepens, his eyes flicking to her lips, a hesitant tension hanging between them. He bites his lip, visibly unsure of how to proceed.  

“I just... I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”  

Her jaw tightens, and she shoots a pointed glance back at the shelves, pretending to be absorbed in the endless row of oral care products. She couldn’t care less about his apology.  

“I heard you the first time,” she mutters, grabbing the toothpaste off the shelf with one hand, her grip tight and fingers stiff. 

A beat of silence stretches between them. Megumi’s voice cuts through again, softer, but with the same persistent edge.  

“So... you’ll forgive me?”  

She scoffs, shaking her head with a bitter laugh, her patience wearing thin. Of course, he would ask something so dumb.  

Finally, her eyes land on the familiar packaging.

Toothpaste.

She picks it up, turning to face him with a glare that could melt stone.  

“No. And if that’s all you have to say, then I’m leaving.” 

With that, she brushes past him once again, this time with more force, walking swiftly toward the checkout counter. She can still smell the lingering scent of cigarettes, the same stale air she’d walked into when she first arrived.  

The conveyor belt moves slowly beneath her, and she places the toothpaste down with a faint clink. Her fingers automatically slip into her pocket, searching for her wallet.  

And then, she hears it—the unmistakable sound of footsteps behind her.  

She doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is. Her shoulders sag, frustration mounting in her chest. Of course he’d follow me.

She groans internally, preparing herself for whatever nonsense he’ll say next.

"Will this guy ever get a fucking life?" she mutters under her breath, barely holding back an eye roll.

“I got it,” a voice called from behind her.

The cashier, unfazed by the tension hanging in the air, set her pornographic magazine aside and casually picked up the toothpaste. Her cigarette, still smouldering in her mouth, bobbed up and down as she scanned the item, her expression completely indifferent to the moment's awkwardness.

She paused, her eyes narrowing as she studied Megumi from head to toe, as if waiting for him to do something else.

"Oh shit, uh, and these too," he stammered, placing the box of Magnum condoms on the conveyor belt, nervously scratching his neck.

Yn's eyes flickered to the box and then back to him. "Big night planned, huh?" she said, her voice dripping with mock amusement as she glared at the condoms.

Megumi’s face reddened. "Oh, uh, those aren’t for me," he mumbled, his discomfort palpable.

She merely gave a disinterested "Mhm," chewing the inside of her gum as the cashier processed the transaction.

Megumi opened his mouth, ready to defend himself, but was cut off by her.

"Did you guys want a bag?" she asked flatly.

"Yeah, please," Yn answered quickly, eager to leave the awkwardness behind.

The sound of plastic rustling filled the silence, only intensifying the tension. The cashier bagged their items with a practised, almost bored efficiency—as if this kind of transaction was the least exciting thing to happen all day.

Before Megumi could protest any further, a cloud of smoke from the cashier’s cigarette drifted in their direction. She didn’t even flinch.

“That’ll be 4250 yen, please,” she said lazily, still grinning, unfazed by the duo hacking their lungs out from the smoke.

Megumi quickly covered his mouth with his arm, pulling out his wallet with the sort of frantic haste only a person desperate to escape awkwardness can manage. He fumbled with his card, sliding it into the reader. The machine beeped.

Yn grabbed the bag in one swift motion, already on her way out of the store.

Megumi, looking flustered but relieved, gave a curt nod to the cashier before jogging after her, eager to leave the bizarre scene behind.

The cashier took another slow drag from her cigarette, her eyes following the two figures darting across the parking lot. She exhaled a thick plume of smoke, watching them with a detached amusement, tinged with something darker—something she didn’t care to name.

"Kids," she muttered to herself, shaking her head with a soft, resigned chuckle before turning her attention back to the magazine before her, as if it might shield her from whatever she couldn’t bear to witness.

—

The sharp click of shoes on wet concrete echoed in the cold night, piercing the stillness like a warning. 

"Yn, please!" Megumi’s voice cracked, strained with exhaustion and desperation as he closed the gap between them.

Yn kept her head down, hands shoved deep into her pockets, the cold metal of the keys biting into her skin. Her pace quickened, heart racing as though the faster she moved, the less likely he would be able to reach her, to make her turn around. She couldn’t hear him. Not now. Not when everything she’d been holding back was on the edge of spilling over.

"Megumi, stop," she whispered, voice tight, trembling at the edges. "I already told you, I—"

Before she could finish, she felt his hand grip her wrist, pulling her to a halt. The sudden force of it made her breath catch, and for a moment, she was still trapped between the pull of his touch and the weight of her own resolve.

She looked at him, and everything inside her stilled.

His eyes weren’t the same. They were darker now, heavy with something deeper than she had ever seen in them before. No arrogance. No defiance. Only raw, unfiltered regret. Sadness. The kind that seemed to press in on his chest, making it hard to breathe, to think. He couldn’t meet her gaze for long; his eyes flickered to the ground, and for a moment, he looked like he might break. Like his whole world was about to shatter into a thousand pieces, right there on the wet pavement.

"Yn, please," he whispered, voice breaking, so full of pain it made her chest tighten. "I never meant any of it. What I said... it was so fucking stupid. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to lose you. I know... I know it’s selfish, asking you to stay, but I can’t... I can’t lose you. Please." 

"Megumi, I—"

He cut her off, his voice hoarse, trembling with the weight of everything he hadn’t said before. "And I know you told me you weren’t ready for a relationship, and I’ve tried to understand that, to give you space. I’ve accepted it, even if it wasn’t easy. But..." His words faltered, and for a moment, he looked like he might swallow them back down, like they were too heavy for him to carry. But then he breathed in, steadying himself. 

"But Yn... I would wait a thousand lifetimes for you. I would wait forever, if that’s what it took, because I want to be with you. I need to be with you. And not just because I miss you, or because I feel lost without you, but because... because, Yn, I want you. In a way I never thought I could want anyone." 

He paused, the weight of his own confession sinking in, and when he spoke again, it was barely above a whisper, but it cut through the space between them with the quiet intensity of a truth he could no longer keep buried. 

“So hate me all you want Yn, just please don’t shut me out. I’ve spent so much time thinking I could walk away, that I could let you go, but I can’t. I don’t want to. Not anymore." 

His chest rose and fell with the effort of his words, like he was trying to catch his breath after running a race he didn’t even know he was in. His body trembled, not from fear, but from the sheer force of his emotions breaking through. His hand clenched at his side, his knuckles white, as if holding on to something he might lose if he let go. His eyes were fixed on hers, pleading without words, desperate without asking. 

For the first time in a long time, there was no bravado, no walls between them. Only the quiet truth of a man who had finally realised that what he felt for her wasn’t something he could walk away from. And he was asking—no, begging—for her to see it, to feel it, too.

His grip on her wrist tightened, his fingers trembling. He looked away, unable to meet her eyes, as though the weight of his own guilt might crush him if he held her gaze for too long. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the torrent of emotion that was threatening to spill over, but it was there—raw, uncontained.

Yn exhaled, the weight of his words settling over her like a fog. She wanted to pull away, to shut herself off from him—everything inside her screaming for distance—but she couldn’t. Not with him standing there, broken, stripped bare in front of her. 

She shook her head slowly, the words thick in her throat. "Megumi... I could never hate you." The confession hung in the air between them, fragile and heavy with everything they had left unsaid. 

His eyes snapped back to hers, searching for something—anything—that would give him hope. And in that moment, when the world seemed to shrink down to just the two of them, a single streetlight flickered above them, casting his face in a pale, golden halo. She froze. In that soft glow, she remembered. She remembered how he had always been beautiful—how she saw him for the first time underneath the lucent lights with his guitar, to the man standing in front of her carrying nothing but a bag of toothpaste and condoms. For a fleeting second, it felt like time had both stopped and rewound, all at once.

A fragile shift passed between them, unspoken but undeniable. His hand slipped from her wrist, fingers brushing lightly against her skin as if afraid to touch her too firmly, as if the very act of reaching for her might undo them both. But then, with no more hesitation, no more words to hold them back, he kissed her.

It wasn’t a kiss of anger, of apology, or even of reconciliation. It was everything—everything they’d held back, buried too deep for too long. The crash of everything unspoken, everything broken, everything still raw between them. It was the kiss they should have shared ages ago, but neither of them had been ready for. It was the space between their words—the silence that had stretched so long, finally, finally given form. 

And in that kiss, there was no more distance. No more fear. No more hesitation. Just the weight of everything they hadn’t let go of, suddenly, impossibly, all at once.

extras!

• panda sent the ynmegumi gc a text like “plan in motion” so they all celebrated with a movie night (??)

• dunno know WHY they thought it would work

• it did so ig it’s okay…

• they knew their plan worked after ynmegumi turned their location sharing off LMFAOOOO

• shoko was definitely fan service for ree (are you reading this ree? are you?? are you?? did you like it??? do i get a kiss on the cheek?? do i??)

• but her working in the pharmacy isn’t THAT ooc so #cry

• she did not gaf about ynmegumi😭 she just let them have their moment

• brought her flashbacks to stsg gay asses #LetGodBeTrueQuickly🙌🙌

• yn wants to be main character soooo bad omfg girl give it up

• complete parking lot fight slash makeup scene cliché SUE ME

• btw they left the toothpaste out on the gravel for some reason so yn did in fact not get the stupid ass toothpaste

• got the condoms though😛😛😛

• yuta will definitely be questioning as to why they were open

• may or may not have done something not very sft in the car but hey!! you didn’t hear it from me…

a/n: aaaand we’re back!!! how’s everyone doing? good? okay? horrible? all three? same❤️ i hope this sufficed for taking a week off (i’m still in my shackles) this was probably my favourite chapter to write. gonna lie and say it didn’t make me teary eyed towards the end… champagne coast being the recommended song of the week even though it was a gag for the first chapter is a full circle moment. a bit of tzc reeferences sprinkled in the chapter bc i love those girls to death (even though mitch gave up on chapter 2… she didn’t even make it to lesbian digresser… #shitfriendmoment😒) ANYWAYS enjoy and see you guys tmr!! <3

taglist: @shokosbunny @satoryaa @prozacprinc3ss @essjujutsu @therealsatorugojo @yeehawslap @gojodickbig @dawnisatotalqueen @j2upiters @nappingnai @lalalasillybilly3000 @totallytatum @3cst4syy @lysaray @saltypuffin1040 @aozui @makeshiftproject @kurtcobaingirlie @kokoiinuts @dashingaurries @slvttycorpse @cuupidsss @mochroialainn @tenjikusstuff4 @ichcocat @laughingfcx @sugurubabe @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @tyigerz @yoyo-yui @megoomies @yizmiu @jasminasblog22 @marst4rz @guitarstringed-scars @kalulakunundrum @lovefrominaya @beepbopzlorp @itsdragonius @meguemii @chilichopsticks @starantulas @1l-ynn @sluttkuna @rcveriees @solaqes @starrysho @sukunaspillow @evry1luvssm @syxoki

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[kinzhae]

Just Want To Talk

Angst, Neglected Reader X Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Choso, Sukuna, No Comfort.

Part 2

Gojo Satoru

It had become a routine. Satoru would come home late, half-heartedly ask about your day, then disappear into his room or his phone as if you weren’t even there. You told yourself it was his work—the missions, the endless responsibilities of being the strongest. But deep down, you knew it was more than that.

Tonight, you were determined to confront him. When he walked through the door, his blindfold pushed up to his forehead, exhaustion written across his face, you stood in the middle of the living room, waiting.

“Satoru, we need to talk,” you said, your voice steady despite the knot in your chest.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Can we not do this right now? It’s been a long day.”

“No,” you replied firmly. “This can’t wait. I’m tired of pretending like everything’s fine when it’s not. You’ve been distant, cold, and I don’t even know where I stand with you anymore.”

He froze for a moment, his usual playful demeanor slipping. But instead of softening, his expression hardened. “Y/N, why do you always do this? Why do you have to make everything about you?”

His words stung, but you refused to back down. “I’m not making it about me. I’m asking you to show me that I matter to you!”

Gojo laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “Matter? Do you have any idea what I deal with every day? The world doesn’t revolve around your feelings, Y/N. I have actual problems to deal with.”

You stared at him, your chest tightening. “So I’m just another burden to you?”

“Yeah,” he said, his voice sharp. “Maybe you are.”

The air left your lungs as his words settled over you like a crushing weight. Tears welled in your eyes, but you blinked them back, refusing to let him see you break. “If that’s how you feel, then maybe I shouldn’t be here.”

Without waiting for a response, you grabbed your coat and walked out, slamming the door behind you.

Geto Suguru

The man you fell in love with was gone. At least, that’s how it felt as you watched Suguru pace the room, his sharp eyes fixed on a map of his next mission. His once-kind demeanor had been replaced by cold determination, and you felt like a ghost in your own relationship.

“Suguru,” you said softly, stepping closer.

“Not now,” he muttered without looking up.

Tears pricked at your eyes, but you pressed on. “It’s always ‘not now.’ When will it ever be the right time to talk about us?”

He froze, his jaw tightening. “What do you want me to say, Y/N? That everything’s fine? That I’m still the same person you fell in love with? Because I’m not.”

You stared at him, your chest tightening. “I know you’re not. But that doesn’t mean you have to shut me out. I’m trying to help you, Suguru. Why won’t you let me?”

He turned to you, his expression cold. “Because you can’t help me. You wouldn’t understand what I’m going through. You’re too weak to understand.”

The words struck like a physical blow, leaving you breathless. “Weak?” you whispered, tears streaming down your face. “I’ve stood by your side through everything. I’ve supported you, defended you, and you call me weak?”

He didn’t respond, his silence louder than any words. Without another word, you turned and walked out, your heart breaking with each step.

Nanami Kento

Being with Nanami meant understanding his disciplined nature, his need for routine, and his intense focus on his work. But lately, it felt like his focus never shifted from his responsibilities to you. Dinners were silent affairs, conversations stilted and brief. You tried to chalk it up to his busy schedule, but the hollow feeling in your chest grew with each passing day.

Tonight, as he sat at the kitchen table, papers spread out before him, you decided to try again. You approached cautiously, placing a cup of tea by his hand.

“Thank you,” he said, not even glancing up.

You hesitated before speaking. “Kento, can we talk?”

“Is it important?” he asked, flipping through a file.

Your heart sank, but you pressed on. “It is to me.”

Finally, he looked up, his expression unreadable. “What is it, Y/N? I’m in the middle of something.”

You swallowed hard, your hands trembling. “I feel like you’ve been distant. Like I don’t matter to you anymore.”

He sighed, rubbing his temples. “Y/N, I don’t have time for this right now. I have a lot on my plate.”

“You always have a lot on your plate,” you said, your voice breaking. “But where do I fit in? Do I even fit in anymore?”

His expression hardened, and his words came out sharper than you expected. “You want the truth? I don’t have the energy to deal with your insecurities on top of everything else. I’m doing the best I can, and if that’s not enough for you, maybe you should reevaluate what you want from me.”

His words hit you like a punch to the gut. Tears welled in your eyes as you stared at him, unable to process the coldness in his voice. “I never asked for you to be perfect, Kento. I just wanted to feel like I mattered to you.”

“You’re overthinking it,” he said, returning to his work. “Go get some rest.”

You stood there for a moment, hoping he’d say something more, but he didn’t. The silence was deafening as you turned and left the room, your heart shattering with every step.

Choso

Choso had always been a quiet person. But lately, his silence had become suffocating. You knew something was wrong, but every time you tried to reach out, he pulled away further. The moments you once shared, quiet and simple, now felt like distant memories. He wasn’t the person you knew anymore, and you weren’t sure if you still knew how to reach him.

Tonight, you couldn’t take it anymore. You stood by the door of his room, gathering every ounce of courage to face him. After a long moment of hesitation, you knocked softly.

“Choso?” you called gently.

“Not now, Y/N,” came his muffled response from inside.

But you pushed through, opening the door to find him sitting at the window, staring out into the night. His back was tense, his shoulders stiff as he avoided looking at you.

“I need to talk to you,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady despite the crack in it.

He didn’t respond at first, his silence speaking volumes. Finally, he turned to you, his expression closed off. “What do you want to talk about, Y/N? Is it about me not being around? Or the fact that I don’t have time for you anymore?”

You flinched, his words hitting you harder than you expected. “Choso… that’s not fair. I don’t expect you to be perfect, but I miss you. I miss us. I just want to know why you’ve been pushing me away.”

His gaze hardened, and he finally met your eyes. “You wouldn’t understand,” he said bitterly. “I’m not the same person I was before. I’m not someone who can just go back to the way things were, Y/N. I’m broken, and I’m doing this for your own good. I don’t want to drag you down with me.”

The tears you had been holding back finally fell, your heart aching as you stepped toward him. “I don’t care if you’re broken, Choso. I’m not asking you to be perfect. I just want to be there for you, like you’ve always been there for me. You can’t shut me out like this.”

He stood abruptly, the tension in his body palpable. “I don’t want you to see me like this,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “I’m scared of what I’ll become, Y/N. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

“You’re not alone in this, Choso,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “You never have to go through it by yourself. I’m here. Always.”

Ryomen Sukuna

The halls of Sukuna’s palace were cold, unwelcoming, and as lifeless as you had come to feel over the weeks. It had been days, maybe weeks since Sukuna last spoke to you without contempt or dismissiveness. You told yourself to be patient, that the King of Curses wasn’t the type to express affection in conventional ways. Yet each ignored glance, each sarcastic quip, and each night spent alone chipped away at your resolve.

Tonight was no different. You sat alone in the chamber you shared—or were supposed to share—with Sukuna. Your fingers curled around the soft fabric of your cloak, pulling it tighter against the chill in the air. You hated how empty the space felt without him. But more than that, you hated yourself for missing someone who treated you like you were invisible.

You had to talk to him. Something had to change, or you were going to break.

Summoning every ounce of courage you had left, you left the chamber and walked down the grand hallway to the throne room, where you knew he would be. The heavy doors were slightly ajar, and his voice carried out to you—a commanding, cold tone as he addressed his subordinates. When you entered, he didn’t even look up.

“Sukuna,” you called out, your voice trembling. It wasn’t loud, but it was enough to get the attention of the room.

He glanced at you briefly before turning back to the group of curses kneeling before him. “Leave us,” he commanded. His voice was sharp, cutting through the air like a blade. Without hesitation, the subordinates filed out, casting curious glances your way as they passed.

Once the doors closed, an oppressive silence filled the room. Sukuna leaned back on his throne, one arm resting lazily on the armrest, his crimson eyes fixed on you with an air of impatience. “What do you want?” he asked, his tone sharp and dismissive.

You clenched your fists at your sides, trying to steady your breathing. “I need to talk to you. Please.”

He raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Talk, then. But make it quick—I don’t have time for your whining.”

His words struck you like a slap, but you pushed through the pain, refusing to let him see you falter. “I feel like I don’t matter to you anymore,” you said, your voice trembling but steady. “You’ve been so distant, so cold. I just… I want to understand what I did wrong. Why you’re treating me like this.”

He scoffed, leaning forward slightly, his eyes narrowing. “Is that what this is about? Your feelings? I don’t have time to coddle you, Y/N. You’re lucky I even let you stay here.”

Your heart sank, the weight of his words pressing down on your chest. “Sukuna, I’ve stayed by your side through everything. I’ve endured your temper, your cruelty, because I believed there was something worth holding on to. But now… now I’m not so sure.”

His smirk disappeared, replaced by a cold, hard stare. “You think you’re special? That you’re different from anyone else who has ever stood before me? You’re not. You’re nothing more than a distraction—a fleeting amusement.”

The air was knocked out of you as if he had physically struck you. You stared at him, disbelief and heartbreak etched across your face. “How can you say that to me?” you whispered, tears welling in your eyes. “After everything we’ve been through?”

“Because it’s the truth,” he said, his voice devoid of emotion. “You’re weak. Pathetic. If you can’t handle that, then leave. I won’t stop you.”

The room spun around you as his words settled in your mind. Weak. Pathetic. Nothing. The man you had given everything to saw you as nothing more than an inconvenience. You didn’t say another word. You couldn’t. Turning on your heel, you fled the throne room, his laughter ringing in your ears like a cruel melody.

[valerie-is-in-the-cupboard]

Viktor... - Viktor x reader

Arcane Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Words: ~1100 TW: none

"Viktor!" you shouted, but the man never seemed to even consider stopping. "Viktor, wait!" Your desperation was growing stronger with every step, tears slowly blurring your vision.

Was this what he wanted? To disappear? Leaving you behind like you were nothing?

"Did I do something wrong?" your voice echoed as the man you once loved turned away, the dark cloak gracefully falling onto his new body. He wouldn't have even stopped to look at you if it wasn't for Jayce to tell you he was leaving. His body froze, his mind racing with the new sensations he felt. He slowly turned, strands of hair stuck to his forehead.

"No! I have to…" the hurt in his voice obvious. "I'm not…" he hesitated, not sure what to say next. Was he even alive? Was he even human? "I don't even know what I am anymore…"

You cautiously stepped towards him, taking in his features. He was suffering before, you knew that. He lost a lot of weight in the past years… His sickness was getting stronger, day by day, but now… Now he was standing in front of you, on his own legs. Now he was standing taller, the weakness you once saw in him gone.

Your hand pressed against his cheek, but he wasn't met with the warmth he once felt - it was something unusual. Peaceful, but not in a way he was able to understand. It was electrical, mechanical, not human-like. It was like a fire started underneath your palm, but it didn't hurt. His hand hesitantly touched yours, something that resembled a heartbeat seemingly getting stronger. Was it still his heart?

"I know what you are…" you said, the familiar brown eyes looking at you, their softness ever so unchanged.

"I killed Sky…" his voice trembled slightly, your heart skipping a beat. You were the first he ran to when this happened. The first to know everything he never let anyone know. You were the first to see him for who he really was. And now, thinking that you might be afraid of him, it made his body ache in unpleasant, strange ways. "I am murderer…" he eventually continued, his words quieter than they were in those many nights you spent together, hoping not to wake up anyone.

You just now realised the roughness of this new "skin", the coldness in it, a contrast to his gentle touches. Different from the way he used to worship you any chance he got. You were his only reason to continue fighting. His only reason to continue his research - because maybe, one day, your lives will be better. But the roughness was just on the surface... somehow, you could still feel the warmth. The kindness in his soul was as it always has been - unparalleled.

"No…" You softly said, cupping his cheeks. The touch sent a wave of energy coursing through him, not with the intensity of a shock, but with a steady, unyielding pull that reminded him of life itself. It felt like a promise, something soft yet grounding, pulling him back from the edge of despair. “You’re my Viktor…” The words hung in the air between you, their weight settling in the space around you both. Viktor didn’t move at first.

His eyes stayed locked on yours, searching for any trace of doubt, any sign that you might be lying. For a long moment, neither of you spoke. His breath came slower, almost as if he was afraid to exhale, fearful that the fragile connection you had could shatter with a single movement.

Viktor’s forehead found its peace against yours, just as it always did. But this time, there was a tremble in his touch, a hesitant pause before his lips parted to speak again. The gentle pulse of your shared breath seemed to reverberate through your bodies, and for a moment, the world outside of this fragile moment disappeared. You could feel the echo of his heartbeat, faint and distant, but still there, somehow keeping him tethered to you. "And nothing could make me not want to follow you until the end of the time…"

A small smile crept on his face, your words seemingly reassuring him, even if just a little, that maybe he was not as inhuman as he thought he was. "I can't ask you to follow me…" he told you, knowing that it would perhaps mean the end of your life. Knowing that it might bring you more pain than his disappearance would have.

"Of course you don't…" you chuckled. "But I will anyway. I always did as I pleased, right?" the sound of his soft laugh made your heart jump, your ears enlightened as you heard it.

His fingers intertwined with yours, the whole world becoming silent, almost nonexistent. In the stillness of the moment, this touch was a silent understanding, a bond that spoke louder than words ever could. Your souls were connected once again, just as they were always meant to be. Fighting to find each other, fighting to find peace once again and now… fulfilled that they were finally reunited.

"It's not gonna be easy…" he warned, pressing a light kiss on your temple before he moved away, the coldness of his absence making you shiver.

"It's never been… But we managed…"

He smiled and all of the stimulus he felt stopped. Something similar to peace conquered his form now. Something stronger than whatever the Hexcore was doing to him.

You pressed his hand against your chest, the vibrations of your heartbeat resonating through him. You could see his mouth slightly opening in fascination at the intensity of his senses.

"Can you feel it?" you asked. "Can you feel it beating under your touch?"

Viktor’s fingers tightened around your wrist, as if afraid to let go. For a moment, he said nothing. His chest rose and fell in uneven breaths, a mix of disbelief and awe flickering in his expression.

"I can't promise you I'm the same..." he whispered, his voice trembling as if uncertain whether this was real.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, a powerful pain overcoming it at his words. "Whatever IT'll happen, I will face it with you. I know I want this, just please... Please don't push me away." He caressed your cheek, a weak smile on his face as he saw the determination in your eyes. The world became still. It was peaceful now. The past was a distant memory. The future - uncertain.

But the present felt just right.

[themoonhauntedmyillusionss]

𝑶𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓 (𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑻𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆)

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫, 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝟑𝟒 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝟐𝟎, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐌𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲, 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐩, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤. 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 5.5𝒌

“You know why we can’t do this, detka. However, that doesn’t mean I’m going to disappear from your life, okay? Not if you don’t want me to.” You and Wanda were sitting next to each other on the bed now; your desire to finally be able to kiss her had not dissipated yet, but the woman had immediately stopped you from doing anything. You were trying your hardest not to pout and just go for it, and, most importantly, you were trying not to think. The redheaded woman took your hands in hers as she slowly turned around to face you. “I know this is difficult, I know. We need to find a way to get over our feelings; we cannot risk your mother’s rage, sweetie.”

“Are you sure she’d flip out if she found out?” You tried to question her reasons; you wanted to believe your mother would be supportive of the two of you, but you knew better than anyone it was a long shot. Wanda smiled sadly at you, and you knew what she was going to say; you knew she was going to try and take that bit of hope away from you. “Mom is a reasonable woman though, Wanda.” 

“I am aware of that, but she’s also your mother. She has decided to keep you safe from the first moment she laid her eyes on you when you were 2 years old; she would definitely not be happy about whatever is going on between us.” You sighed; you knew she was right, but you so wanted her not to be. You wanted to be able to explore your feelings, to see how a relationship between the two of you could be and how you would work out everything standing in your way. Wanda got closer to you, her hands leaving yours and slowly reaching your face, stroking your skin lightly. You smiled into her touch, leaning in knowing it was all there ever was going to be between the two of you. You closed your eyes, trying to enjoy every little moment you had alone with her; you knew you couldn’t spend all the time you wanted together. You had thought about going over to Wanda’s when you wanted to savor some more moments with her, but you were aware that probably was not the best choice if you wanted or needed to get over your feelings for each other. 

You were broken away from your thoughts when you felt the redhead’s breath on your face, remembering when you last felt it and the way it had made you feel. Right now it was probably ten times more intense, knowing she wanted to do exactly everything you ever wanted her to do to you. You slowly convinced yourself to open your eyes, afraid to ruin the moment, afraid to make everything real and scare her off. 

Green eyes were immediately focused on yours as soon as you opened them. You looked into those beautiful orbits and smiled; you wanted to stay like that forever. Wanda closed the gap between you two, and you felt her soft lips on your forehead. Your hands were on hers in a second, trying to capture every single moment and action. You wanted to preserve every little memory of that evening forever. 

Reluctantly, the redhead withdrew from you, her eyes still locked into yours, and yours reciprocating the gaze. You tried your best to be okay, not sad, because you knew what was coming. Between the confrontation the two of you had some moments before and the sweet times you had just spent together, you had been in that room for way too long. You both needed to get back out there, even if you didn’t want to. 

“I’d stay here with you all night long, too.” Those words were spoken softly, but they warmed your heart nonetheless. Wanda knew the way you were feeling, and not because she could hear your thoughts, but because she was feeling the same way as you. Your heart also ached at the thought of her suffering; you knew you were too, but knowing the woman you loved was hurt was breaking your heart piece by piece. 

“We need to talk about you hearing every thought of mine, though.” You suddenly stated, and Wanda nodded at your words; her expression got even sadder than before, so you rushed to clear everything out. “Not because I’m mad at you for doing it; I understand that you cannot control it, and I wouldn’t blame you for that. We need to understand if we can do something about it because if we need to get over our feelings, I don’t think hearing my thoughts about you will help.” You smiled at the woman, and she laughed. You enjoyed the moment even more now that you were able to hear her laughter once again. Wanda then smiled sheepishly while looking away from you. 

“No, they definitely never helped." Her voice was soft, and she was still not looking at you. "In particular, not when I was talking to your mother and all I could hear around me were your fantasies of what I could do or what you so desperately wanted me to do to you.” Her gaze was onto you once again, and that shyness she had seemed to show mere seconds before was suddenly gone. Now you were the one feeling cornered; she was smirking, knowing damn well the way she was making you feel. “And the thoughts about my hands? I could never move them from the table or from my lap because as soon as I did, your thoughts would get so dirty, detka.” Her hand slowly reached your arm, teasing the skin on your upper arm, making you shiver. The woman smiled at your reaction; she seemed proud seeing the way she made you feel rather than hearing it from your thoughts. Her hand then traveled all the way to your neck, tracing random lines on it. You slowly bowed your neck all the way back to grant her more access to it and to savor even more of those touches. “You wanted my hands here, didn’t you, dorogaya?” 

The only thing you could do was hum in response; your feelings were all over the place; you wanted more but you knew you shouldn’t have. You wanted her hand to squeeze a little more, but you were afraid to ask or to voice your desires. You knew things weren’t even supposed to get that far, but you started to feel the desperate need for her to do everything she wanted to with you. 

“I’d like that too, dear. But I seriously think we should get back to the party because I don’t know how much more control I have in me.” Wanda ended her sentence, leaving a quick peck on your neck, her lips gone way before you managed to feel them there. You opened her eyes, and you saw she was now standing, but still close to you. If she felt anything the way you did, she probably didn’t want to leave your side. She reached out her hand to you, and you took it right away, standing up and snuggling into her.

“Okay, we kind of can go now.” You affirmed after breathing in her scent, everything that was just Wanda. The woman smiled at you and made her way to the door with you right behind her, still holding onto her hand. As the redhead opened the door and gestured for you to go ahead, another redhead was standing on the other side of the now-opened door.

Your mother.

“M-Mom, hi.” You tried your best to smile innocently at her, as if you hadn’t just tried to basically jump her best friend. Your mother raised her eyebrow at you, then at Wanda, and eventually at your joined hands. You tried to think of something to say, knowing she hadn’t come into the room because she knew you and she knew you needed space and some time alone. However, for some apparently unknown reason, you had allowed Wanda to come in. 

“We were talking while in the party room before, and she seemed off, and suddenly I couldn’t find her anymore, so I started looking for her in our old rooms and found her in yours. I definitely didn’t remember she sometimes needs to be alone and not be questioned. I’m positive she took it from you to tell people off when they piss her off.” Wanda saved you both and laughed softly at her own words, followed right away by your mother’s laughter, the older woman then smiling proudly at you. She loved when you showed off some of her characteristics, making you even more her own daughter, and Wanda knew this very well. You briefly squeezed the redhead’s hand before letting it go, not wanting your mother to notice anything else and ruin Wanda’s perfect attempt at saving your asses. 

“Tony just started forcing everyone to dance, so I thought about asking if you wanted to join the room; we could dance for a while, just the two of us. So you’d probably feel a bit safer than roaming around the room on your own.” Your mother explained to you. You were not so happy at the idea of dancing, but if everybody was, there was a probability you were better off dancing than just standing in a corner. You looked at your mother and nodded; the both of you smiled at Wanda and made your way to the main room, followed by the redhead. 

I would love to be dancing with you.

If she could hear every thought, why not take advantage of that to tell her some things your mother could never know? You turned around briefly to catch the woman smiling at you and nodding to let you know she felt the same. You so wanted to do that, but you were not sure how it would look to your mother. Sure, she knew the two of you had a good relationship; Wanda had helped you with so many things not to. However, she was your mother’s friend; you didn’t even know if you could consider yours and Wanda’s relationship as friendship, let alone what your mother thought of it. 

As you began dancing with your mother, you kept looking for Wanda in the crowd; you had caught her talking with someone almost as soon as the three of you entered the room. Once the anger and sadness had dissipated and you had somewhat processed every piece of information Wanda had given you, you were finally able to fully look at and appreciate the woman of your desires. 

You had thought she was going to be wearing a suit; she had a thing for those, especially at such events like the one you were attending. However, she had completely surprised you; not only was she not wearing a suit, but she was wearing a dress, and definitely not a long one, which was kind of out of character for her. Or at least, for the way you had learned to know her. She was wearing a black minidress with a black belt around her waist, showing off her perfect figure. The sleeves of the dress reached her elbow, ending in white wristbands. The white collar was tied with a string made into a bow, with the ends falling down her chest. The cut on her cleavage was not big, but enough to show off a little bit. Under the dress, she was wearing a pair of black stockings framed by a pair of black high heels, emphasizing even more her perfect figure. 

“I’m proud of you, you know?” You had to break off your intense gaze on Wanda as you heard your mother talking to you, considering yourself lucky for even hearing her and not making a fool of yourself. You looked at your mother, who was now smiling sweetly at you, and you slightly blushed at her words. You never thought you would ever make someone proud, even if deep down you knew your mother always was, but you never thought of yourself as capable of doing such a thing. “I always knew you could do everything you wanted to.”

“You and Wanda probably did most of the work though, and you know it.” You replied, trying to take any praise off of you. For some reason, as much as you craved it, you were never able to accept any praise whatsoever. You saw your mother shake her head at your words; you knew she would never agree with you on these things; she always wanted you to see all the things you did but never took credit for.

“We helped you, y/n. You studied and did everything because you are capable of doing so; we just helped you see things in an easier way.” You decided to nod; you were not going to convince her to think the way you did, and you knew it, so you thought it would’ve been better to pretend you understood her point of view. Your mother smiled once you had chosen to agree to what she was saying. “Speaking of helping, I do think Wanda deserves a little thank you dance as well, don’t you?” You missed your chance to breathe as soon as you heard those words. She wanted you to dance with Wanda. She was going to let you have your wish without even knowing it existed in the first place? “Oh, so this is what it was. A thank you dance? I actually thought you wanted to dance with your daughter." You complained playfully, making your mother laugh while shaking her head. She then briefly left you alone, and you saw her approach Wanda, who was still standing in the corner looking around the room. The redhead seemed shocked but recovered quickly and nodded to your mother, and a few seconds later there she was, in front of you, looking more beautiful than ever. 

“Ty otlichno vyglyadish', milaya.*” A soft groan left your mouth before you could stop it. Wanda looked at you victoriously, and you cursed yourself; of course she knew the effect she had on you when she talked to you in Sokovian. She squeezed your waist, and you shivered at her touch. You wanted to be able to pull her body against yours without it looking suspicious. However, you knew it was not possible; nothing you wanted to do could ever not be suspicious to other people’s eyes. “I love feeling you shiver against my touch, you know?” You did not know for a fact, but you were pretty damn sure even before she told you that. 

“I never thought I’d be able to dance with you.” You said softly; there was no need for you to actually yell to let her hear you over the loud music; you knew she could tell what you were thinking and saying either way. 

“I was wondering... I kind of heard a bit of what was going on between you and Nat before.” You hummed in response, already knowing she was just going to agree with your mother and tell you how great you were, how much you should’ve been proud of yourself, and everything else your mother also told you. “What was that thing about you craving praise?” She asked, raising an eyebrow, and you looked at her in shock. Of course you knew she would’ve been able to hear that part too, but you would’ve never imagined she was going to talk to you about that. “You would like to behave well enough to be praised, then? To be called a good girl, to have someone tell you how much of a good job you did..." Your cheeks were getting warmer and warmer; you had no idea if you wanted to run and hide from everyone at that moment or if you wanted to cave in and fully react to those words. You knew she was trying to get you to blush and squirm even more in her arms, and she was almost there. “Is that what you wish for, baby?” The hand on your waist was caressing you through your clothes; you were craving for those fingers to just touch your skin directly. Her green eyes were staring at you so intensively that you just nodded. You don't have it in you to hide things for her, and for some reason you couldn't do that. “Use your words, detka." Her tone was almost cold, like she was giving you a command. 

“Yes, m-Wanda.” You blushed even more at your slip, hoping with all of your soul she hadn’t noticed it, but you knew you were just fooling yourself with hope as soon as her eyes darkened at your slip and her lips curled up in a smirk. She didn’t mention it; she didn’t say anything anymore; she just held you as close to her as she could, and the two of you just danced. Your mind completely focused on every sensation the closeness of her body was giving you, your hands resting peacefully around her neck as your fingers caressed her there and also her scalp from time to time, trying not to do it so often so nobody would notice. 

Her hands kept going from grasping your waist tightly, almost as if she wanted to leave bruises on your skin, to drawing lines and circles on you, like she was giving you some aftercare. Your mind was so completely lost in everything that was Wanda, from her scent to her eyes and her touch. 

You never wanted that evening to end. 

That evening, however, did end, and the fact that you couldn’t even kiss Wanda goodbye angered you. You realized you were angry at your mother, even though she wasn’t even technically at fault; she had no idea what was going on. The two of you were just acting in case she were to flip out on you, but she still hadn’t.

The whole ride home you had stayed silent; you thought your mother probably believed it had something to do with the fact that you didn’t much like parties, and certainly not the ones where you had to be the center of attention. As you looked out the car window, you tried to remember the feelings you had while being held by Wanda—the feelings she made you have when she told you she was feeling the same. You tried your best to focus only on those things, trying to keep your mood up and keep your mother from asking you questions. 

The weeks passed by, and you and Wanda texted a lot. You wished she would message you some of the things she said while at the party, to be able to read them how many times you wanted and needed to, but she seemed to want to keep everything at bay. The redhead had not once said anything around the lines of what the two of you were feeling; she would keep the conversations as normal and as proper as possible. You couldn’t even be mad at her because you were so happy about what she had told you and about the fact that the two of you were talking that anger didn’t even cross your mind when you thought about her. 

Part of you wanted to go over to her, but luckily for the both of you, you had to study for the next exams. Of course you would’ve found the time to see her, but you had an excuse not to act on your feelings and to be able to control your impulses if you had not had the chance to see her. 

Studying had started to seem almost easy to do now that your mind was clear from the doubts and resentment you had been feeling the previous month. Deep inside you were aware of the fact that you were not, if truth be told, in a relationship, but just knowing about the way Wanda felt made you feel as if you were now walking on clouds, living in your own heaven. 

You had successfully made Tony promise not to throw you a party for each exam; you had quite a few to prepare, and the idea of a party waiting for you after each one was stressful enough. Tony of course had to make a deal out of your request, so after you had passed all of your exams he was going to throw you a final party, which made sure as hell more sense than a party per exam. However, you had the weird feeling he was going to use that as an excuse to plan the party to be even bigger than the last one, knowing he had somewhat of a reason on his hands this time to do so. 

You were sitting on the couch with your notes, preparing for your next exam, when you heard your mother almost running down the stairs. You turned around to look at her and check what was going on, but everything your mind could make out at that point was: What the... 

Your mother was running around the kitchen, grabbing some things you were not sure to be able to identify, but the thing that was the most concerning to you was her outfit. Your mother was wearing what seemed to be a black tight suit, over which she was wearing something that looked like a dark green vest, and overall there were so many pockets filled with something that reminded you of weapons. As she was still running around looking for something, you stood up from your spot on the couch and slowly made your way to your mother, still asking yourself a billion questions. 

“Mom?” Your voice was unsure, almost quivering; you were almost afraid that wasn’t your mother; you had never seen her in such a rush, not since the two of you had come back home. You had also never seen her in such an outfit; it looked to you like a combat outfit, which made everything seem even more absurd than it already was. As your mother heard your voice, you noticed her still in her every movement, but she still wasn’t looking at you. Her back stiffened; you could see it from where you were standing; you didn’t make a move to get closer to her; you kept wondering if she had forgotten you were there or if she was thinking about something. Slowly, she finally turned around, looking at you with a shocked expression. She recovered pretty quickly, but then her expression turned into one full of sadness and regret. “Mom, what’s wrong?”

Her eyes kept switching from looking at you to looking at the door; you kept hearing a “beep” coming from some of her pockets, and you could see that the sound was bothering her, bothering her train of thoughts. 

“I’m sorry, lisichka, I don’t have time right now to explain to you what’s happening. But I will, I promise. We will. Promise me you’re going to stay home, please. I will see you later, love you.” And just like that, your mother opened the door and closed it behind her, leaving you without any words. Your mind just couldn’t wrap around what had happened, whatever that was. 

You stood in front of the door for several minutes, wondering and rethinking about everything you knew and everything you had seen. Yet, you still had no idea about what could’ve been going on, what had possibly made your mother rush out the door like that without any explanation. And most of all, dressed like that. 

Almost without thinking through it, you made your way back to the couch and grabbed your phone, immediately searching for Wanda’s number and calling it. It almost immediately went to voicemail several times; you thought she was probably with the twins, so you stopped calling her after the fourth time. However, you had this weird feeling in your gut; something wasn’t right, and you just couldn’t understand what that something could be. 

You were sure they were in danger, but you had no idea why that would be. 

You spent hours trying to study, trying to focus on something that wasn’t your mother rushing out the door and Wanda not calling you back, but there just wasn’t anything you could do not to think about them. You finally decided to put down your notes and your books and scroll a bit on social media. 

As you turned on your phone, you noticed several notifications sent automatically from Google News, and that sure as hell seemed weird. 

First foreign attack in almost 4 years

The Avengers are needed again after many years

The world is once again in The Avengers’ hands

Confused, you clicked on one of those headlines, wondering who those Avengers were and what was happening that was so important to write so many articles about. As soon as your finger clicked on the first result, some very familiar faces popped up on your screen. You looked shocked as your screen was filled with pictures of Tony Stark, your mother’s boss; Steve Rogers, your mother’s coworker; Clint Burton, also your mother’s coworker; Carol Danvers, yet another one of your mother’s coworkers; Wanda and your mother. 

“Our favorites but also partially hated superheroes are here to save the day, or better yet, the city once again. After all these years, should the world still put its faith in them? Will they actually be able to protect all of us the same way they did time and time again when they were younger?

This time around, The Avengers have shown up with the return of one of the favorites, the infamous Black Widow. Is Natasha Romanoff finally back with her team? What happened 18 years ago that made the, possibly, bravest one of them all choose to part ways? Should we trust her not to abandon them and us once again?”

The Black Widow? Was your mother actually part of a team that did... what? Did your mother have a superpower you knew nothing about? How could’ve she hid something like that from you?

You were still so focused on your questions and confusion that it took you a few minutes to connect some dots.

18 years…

Wanda’s powers…

Could all that be connected? Would that make everything you had just read true?

You couldn’t bear the idea of staying curled up on the couch anymore, looking at your phone with billions of questions running through your mind. You put your phone down and ran up the stairs and decided to change into something more comfortable, having the feeling your mother had not taken the car to go wherever the hell all of them were. 

As you made your way to the elevator, you wondered where Happy was. Of course you perfectly knew how to access Tony's house, but you had already thought of something to say to the man had he started questioning your reason to be there. The elevator’s doors opened to Stark’s lobby, and you were met with blue eyes and a shocked expression. 

“Y/n, I don’t think you’re supposed to be here. Does your mother—"

“Does my mother what? I would really like to know too, Pepper.” You cut off the older woman immediately; you had no intention to listen to whatever those lying adults wanted to tell you, and you were sure as hell not going to do what they wanted you to do, not after having kept you in the dark about whatever was happening. “Either you’re going to tell me everything I want to know or you can leave and let me wait here for them. I know they’re going to come back here; I connected the dots with basically each of them having a room here.” Pepper’s eyes widened, but ultimately the woman just nodded. You smiled victoriously while making your way to Tony’s living room, not wasting any time making yourself a drink, finally being somewhat able to understand all the time you had to spend in that same living room during those two years. Pepper did not say anything else to you as you made yourself at home; she seemed just set to look at your every movement. 

“I do think it’s going to take a while, if you’re actually waiting for them.” Another female voice reached your ears as you were scrolling through your phone. It had been several hours now, and you were cursing at yourself for not taking a book or your notes with you, aware of all the time you had just wasted waiting for them. You looked up from your phone surprised as Morgan Stark made her way to you. 

“You… You know?” You almost yelled standing up to get closer to the young girl, not believing she actually knew something while you didn’t know a damn thing. The girl was only 14 years old, and they had the audacity not to keep things from her, but they actually did from you. “Why the hell does she get to know and I don’t?” You were definitely yelling now; your tone was directed at her mother this time, but you knew it was directed towards your own mother, and maybe even Wanda. They didn’t want to tell you; they never told you anything. How many times did they go do those things and you knew nothing? How many times did they put themselves in danger while you were unaware of their whereabouts?

“Sweetie, try to calm down. I’m sure as soon as your mother comes back, she’s going to tell you everything.” You were sure your face was red now; you were feeling so much anger and disappointment, and you had no one to direct it to; the one person who had betrayed your trust was not there, and you couldn’t do anything about it. What if she never came back? What if something were to happen to her out there? What if you would never have the chance to see your mother again? “Y/N, calm down now. You need to stop thinking about the worst-case scenarios. I’ve been there several times; Morgan has too. They know what they’re doing; they know how to keep themselves safe. Your mother is probably the best one out there, even more so considering she’s one of the only two without powers—”

“MOM!” Morgan screamed at her mother. As soon as those words came out of the blonde’s mouth, your eyes widened and your head began to hurt. You put your hand on your forehead, and before you knew it, warm tears streamed down your cheeks. Everything started to hurt—your head, your heart, your eyes. Pepper walked towards you. The woman put her arm around your body, gently pulling it into hers. You tried your best not to start sobbing, but your head went spiraling in just a few moments, and the feeling of the older woman's hands sweetly caressing your back made you cave in.

You had been wrong; your mother hadn’t hid any powers from you; she hadn’t any to actually hide. She was out there, not alone but probably somehow on her own, fighting who knows what with no powers. Her life was probably in danger, and there you were there, crying and pouting because she had not told you anything about that part of her life. She had no powers. 

She had no powers to protect you with. 

You knew that was the reason; you now knew why the two of you had been in hiding for so many years. You had always wondered and never found a reason why; you had always asked yourself if you were hiding from someone, if your mother had done something and she was in trouble. The first few times you asked her and she didn't answer you, you had started to come up with reasons on your own. One of those reasons was that your mother had kidnapped you, and the two of you were actually hiding from your real parents. You still remembered her hurt expression as you accused her of taking you away from your parents. Not once had you imagined the way she had felt hearing you say those things, and to this day you had no idea how she could have forgiven you for that.

Another theory of yours was that your parents were evil; when you were just a child, you had even wondered if they could've been aliens or witches. You had started to think your mother had actually saved you from them, that she had saved you from possible abuse or even worse things. She had never given you an answer, though; she had never explained to you how she found you, why you, and who your biological parents were.

However, you now knew at least why she had gone into hiding with a 2-year-old child. Her reason was you. She was trying to protect you the same way she had always done. 

You had no idea why the two of you had been able to come back though; clearly, whatever made her job so dangerous had not disappeared, or else you probably would’ve never found out.

*You look gorgeous, baby.

𝚃𝚊𝚐 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @imaginaryblogger01 @unique0003 @ciaoooooo111 @franfineashell @blueredg52 @lesbiansweet @nattysgirl @invictiusstuff @vlansy @blamelessgaynonbinary @reginassecretlover @iwantlizziebad @reignvoltage @beggingonmykneesforher @wandasglf @xxsekhmet @chiar4anna @dorabledewdroop

𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨!

[narcissisticmf]

get up | bucky barnes x fem!reader

description: y/n is not a morning person and bucky tries everything in his power to ease her into the start of the day.

trigger warnings: fluff, some seductive behavior, domestic!bucky, etc. read at your own risk.

word count: <1k

The sun slipped its way through the closed curtains, shining brightly into the room. Your body was entangled within the sheets and thick blankets among your queen sized bed. You grumbled softly as the morning sun hit your eyes, causing you to slowly shield your face behind the thick blanket, no desire to get up yet.

You felt Bucky stir beside you, your back facing him. He must've been waking up. You felt his right arm slip protectively around your stomach, making you to groan softly.

You loved Bucky's affection, but receiving it early in the morning was something you were trying to get yourself used to. You hated physical affection in the morning and, of course, Bucky knew this but that didn't stop him.

"Mornin', sweetheart," Bucky mumbled into your ear with resonance. You gently moaned, clearly not ready to get up yet.

"You want some tea?" he asked, nibbling gently on your earlobe. You stayed quiet, but turned over to face him. You were so tired, and something unusual made you nestle closer to hin that morning. Your face disappeared into his chest and beneath the covers as his arms engulfed you tightly.

"Look at you.." Bucky whispered with a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. You released a soft huff and breathed in his scent. "What's got you so soft this morning, hm?"

"Shh," you whispered with a soft whine, no desire to speak yet.

To this, Bucky laughed. He pressed a warm kiss to your temple.

After a few moments of stillness that enveloped the room, Bucky dipped his chin down and pressed a lingering kiss to the apple of your cheek. "Cmon, sweetheart," he whispered as softly as possible. "Time to get up."

"Nooo," you dragged out softly.

"Yesss," he mimicked your tone with a smile.

"Bucky," you huffed and lifted your chin to look up at him. Your hair was matted against your forehead, your eyes glassed over the iridescent glimmer of them, and your lips were dry, slightly chapped.

"Y/N," Bucky smiled, sat up while leaning on his elbow, and cupped your face with his hands. You shivered at the cold touch of his metal arm, but relished in the light thrill.

"There's my girl," he grinned and leaned down to press a kiss to your nose. "Good morning."

"Morning," you couldn't fight your smile as Bucky leaned down to pepper kisses across your jawline and neck. You rested your head against the pillows and fluttered your eyes closed, admiring the feel of his warm lips against your cold skin.

He halted at your collarbone and seemed to question with his eyes if he should keep going. When you didn't protest, he sucked the skin over your bone.

Your body shuttered, leaving gooseflesh across your exposed arms.

"I felt that," Bucky smirked.

"Shut up," you laughed and nudged him off you.

He didn't fight you and laughed, shuffling off the bed. He turned to look down at you, still beneath the covers.

"How'd I get so lucky, hm?" Bucky crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at you with such an intense gaze, you felt your face go hot.

"Bucky," you whined softly and covered your face with the blankets.

"No, no, please.. don't cover that beautiful face," Bucky implored pathetically, leaning against the mattress to tug the sheets away.

You giggled when he clearly won the tug-o-war battle.

"There she is," Bucky grinned. "Come on, I'll make us breakfast."

This time, you happily obliged.

.

a/n: hi cuties!! i know ive been gone for a hot minute, i've just been swamped with my classes. i'm taking 4 lit classes this semester 🙄 someone tell me why i thought that was a good idea. ANYWAY ,, i hope yall liked this one! i've been seeing sm bucky content bc of thunderbults (can't wait to see that btw) so i thought to write a cute little fic this morning with him. and seeing sebastian talk shit on donald trump to the press is so sexy to me 🤭 okok i'll stop fangirling!! love yall! have a nice thanksgiving to my u.s. friends who celebrate! — angelina.

[capquinn]

I can’t find the inspiration pic at the moment so I apologize! It’s drunk Quinny and he’s in a blue jacket outside with a can in his hand and he’s flexing!!

Bf Quinn taking you out for a date night after he’s been away for a week that ends with you two going to a bar not wanting the night to end and he’s opened up so much with you. So giggly and talkative because he’s so comfortable around you. You two are drunk and waiting for the Uber just messing around laughing and taking silly pics just living in the happy moment. With you he knows he’s just bf Quinn and the stress of being captain disappears when he’s with you

i know just the picture, i've got you babe <3

Quinn had barely stepped through the door when your arms found their way around his neck, pulling him into a hug that neither of you seemed in any rush to end. His bags were forgotten at his feet, the quiet hum of the room filling with his low chuckle as you mumbled something about how long those two weeks felt. He kissed your temple, his hands settling at your waist as though they belonged there, and with a grin, suggested, “let’s go out.”

Dinner had been easy, the kind of date that didn’t need a special occasion to feel special. The restaurant was cozy, the warm glow of candlelight casting soft shadows across his face as you sat across from him. Your hands brushed occasionally on the table, small, fleeting touches that felt natural, like you were both making up for lost time. Beneath the table, his legs pressed gently against yours, the quiet pressure keeping you close, as though even that small distance was too much.

After dinner, the two of you wandered through the wet streets, Quinn’s arm draped over your shoulders, keeping you close as your steps fell in sync. The glow of streetlights shimmered on the pavement, and when a light drizzle began, he guided you toward a nearby bar, its red neon sign flickering faintly. Inside, it was dim and intimate, the kind of place that made time slip away. You sat together in a corner booth, side by side, his knee brushing yours under the table, his hand resting lightly on your thigh. Conversation flowed easily, laughter spilling between you as though the weeks apart had never happened.

Eventually, the two of you stepped back out into the night, the air cool against your cheeks as the muffled hum of music and chatter faded behind you. Quinn’s hand found yours instinctively, like it always did, his thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles as the two of you lingered on the sidewalk. A small smile tugged at his lips as he turned to look at you, the faint glow of the streetlights catching in his eyes.

“You’re glowing,” he said, his voice warm, laced with a teasing edge that didn’t quite hide the softness in his eyes. His thumb brushed tenderly across your cheek, his hand cradling your face like it was the most natural thing in the world.

You laughed, the sound light as you leaned into his touch, pressing a soft kiss to his palm. “That’s just the wine,” you said, a playful lilt in your voice.

“Not a chance,” Quinn countered, a grin tugging at his lips as he gently pulled you closer, his arm slipping around your shoulders with an ease that spoke of how perfectly you fit there. His touch was steady, grounding, the kind that made everything else fall away. “It’s because I’m back, isn’t it?”

You rolled your eyes but leaned into him anyway, unable to hide the smile tugging at your lips. “Oh, absolutely,” you said, your voice dripping with mock seriousness. “My life is so dull without you here to keep things interesting.”

Quinn smirked, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your forehead, his arm still snug around your shoulders. “Someone’s gotta make you smile,” he said, his voice warm and teasing, though his eyes were softer than his tone. “Might as well be me.”

You laughed, the sound bubbling up as you reached for his hand resting on your shoulder, taking it in your own. Without thinking, you pressed a quick kiss to his knuckles, a simple, familiar gesture, like second nature. 

“Lucky me, huh?” you said, your voice light and teasing, though the warmth in your eyes gave you away.

“Yeah, lucky you,” he quipped, pulling you a little closer. “You’re dating a guy who can make you laugh and destroy you in Mario Kart.”

You snorted, rolling your eyes. “You haven’t beaten me in weeks, and you know it.”

“Excuse me, I was on the road for two weeks,” he shot back, his voice full of mock indignation, though his grin didn’t falter. “Kinda hard to win when I’m stuck with hotel Wi-Fi.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile tugging at your lips. “Fine, fine. I’ll let you have that excuse this time.”

Quinn’s chuckle softened, his hand brushing over yours in a way that made the world around you blur for a moment. His tone shifted, quiet and warm.

“I missed this,” he murmured, his eyes fixed on you like you were the only thing that mattered. “Just being with you. Talking and laughing.”

His words melted away the playful edge between you, leaving something softer in its place. You felt the warmth of his voice settle deep in your chest, filling the space his absence had left.

“I missed it too,” you said softly, your teasing gone as you leaned into him, resting your head against his shoulder. 

The past couple of weeks without him had passed like they always did—moments of missing him softened by the rhythm you’d learned to live with. It was part of the deal, part of loving him. But even with the phone calls, the messages, and all the little ways you tried to bridge the distance, it still felt long. Nothing could compare to the warmth of his touch, the weight of his arm around your shoulders, or the way his smile stretched just a little wider when he caught your eye.

Now, being here with him again, under the soft glow of the streetlights, his hand in yours and his laughter still echoing in your ears, you didn’t want this night to end. His fingers traced gentle patterns over your knuckles, and the warmth between you felt like its own kind of magic, wrapping around you in the cool night air. Moments like this, so simple yet so full of him, made every stretch apart worth it.

Quinn was talking about something — a story from the road, maybe, or a ridiculous conversation with Jack — but you weren’t really listening. Instead, your focus drifted, caught entirely on him.

The way the golden light from the street lamps caught in his hair, messy in a way that suited him perfectly. The way his eyes sparkled, his expression animated as he gestured lightly with his free hand. The faint flush on his cheeks from the drinks and the easy happiness of the night. 

You couldn’t stop staring. It wasn’t just how handsome he looked — though he absolutely did — it was the comfort he radiated, the way his laugh carried through the night air and made everything else feel distant, unimportant. You missed this. Missed him.

“You’re staring,” he said suddenly, his voice breaking through your thoughts, his tone half teasing but warm, too.

You blinked, caught, but couldn’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed. 

“Maybe I am,” you admitted, your voice soft but steady, a small smile tugging at your lips.

Quinn glanced down at you, his own smile spreading into something tender, quiet. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, just held your gaze like he could read every unspoken thought in your head. Then, with a slight shrug and a squeeze of your hand, he turned his attention back to whatever story he’d been telling, picking it up right where he left off, as if you hadn’t just laid your heart bare in three words.

As Quinn’s story trailed on, his voice lilting with the playful exaggeration he used when he wanted to make you laugh, you couldn’t stop watching him. The way his lips curved when he grinned, the slight crinkle at the corners of his eyes when he got too into his own joke — it was all so distinctly him.

The two of you walked past a storefront with a vibrant red trim, its window illuminated under the light of the streetlamp. It cast a warm hue on the sidewalk, making everything feel cosier than it should on a cool night like this. You stopped abruptly, tugging lightly on his hand.

“Wait,” you said, a grin already tugging at your lips.

Quinn turned to you, his expression curious as you gestured to the spot in front of the window. “What’s up?”

“Stand there for a second,” you said, already fishing your phone out of your bag.

Quinn stepped into place without hesitation, his brow lifting slightly as he watched you hold up your phone. He didn’t ask why, didn’t question the sudden request, just followed your lead with the quiet ease that came so naturally to him. His hands slipped into the pockets of his jacket, his posture relaxed as his gaze stayed fixed on you, waiting for whatever came next.

You stepped back, angling your phone to frame him just right, the soft glow of the storefront behind him casting the perfect light. He tilted his head slightly, curious but patient, before breaking the silence.

“What’s this about?” he asked, his voice warm and low, though his lips were already twitching into a smile.

“I want a picture,” you said simply, your grin widening as you gestured for him to stay still.

He let out a soft chuckle, his shoulders shaking slightly. But he didn’t argue, didn’t move — just stayed right there, waiting for your next instruction like he couldn’t help but indulge you.

“Say ‘cheese,’” you instructed, tilting your head as you focused the shot, full of affection.

Quinn’s lips quirked into an easy grin, and he gave you his best boyish grin, his dimples peeking through just enough to make your chest feel too full. And as you pressed the shutter, you couldn’t help but wonder if he even realised just how captivating he looked in moments like this.

“Perfect,” you said, biting back a smile as you lowered the phone to look at him. Then, with a playful tilt of your head, you added, “Now… do something fun.”

Quinn blinked, his eyebrows lifting in mild confusion before his smirk slowly returned. “Something fun?” he echoed, his tone teasing.

“Yes, fun,” you said, gesturing dramatically with your hand like a director calling the shots. “Come on, make it a good one.”

He stood there for a moment, staring at you as if debating whether he should go big or bigger, the corners of his mouth twitching with barely contained laughter. Then, without warning, he squared his shoulders, planted his feet, and threw both arms into an absurdly exaggerated bodybuilder pose. He flexed with mock intensity, his head tilting back as though he were soaking in the roar of an imaginary crowd, and then, to top it off, a boyish giggle bubbled out of him — unrestrained, carefree, and completely contagious.

The sheer ridiculousness of it sent you into hysterics, your laughter spilling out so hard and fast you could barely keep hold of your phone. He held the pose a beat longer, grinning like he’d just nailed the performance of a lifetime, his giggles mixing with yours.

“Oh my God, Quinn!” you gasped, laughter tumbling out of you uncontrollably. 

It was the kind of laugh that stole your breath, leaving your stomach aching and your cheeks flushed from the sheer joy of it. You doubled over slightly, one hand braced on your knee, the other clutching your phone as you struggled to catch even a shred of composure.

Quinn’s own laughter echoed yours as he crossed the space between you in just a few easy strides. 

“You’re completely gone,” he teased, his voice low and warm, but his expression was nothing short of radiant, his eyes sparkling with unfiltered delight.

He slid his arms around your waist, drawing you into him as the last of your laughter spilled out in breathless, silent waves. Your face was flushed from the sheer joy of the moment, your chest still shaking faintly with the remnants of giddiness. You tilted your head up to meet his gaze, his eyes shining with an affection so easy and warm it made you dizzy.

His forehead dipped to yours, brushing softly, and the curve of his mouth pressed to yours in the gentlest touch — quick, fleeting, like a secret passed between you. It wasn’t meant to last, and it didn’t; the moment dissolved into fresh laughter, both of you giggling like kids, noses bumping as his hands pressed firmly against the small of your back, keeping you steady even as you leaned into him.

“Ridiculous,” he murmured against your cheek, his voice low and shaking with amusement. But there was something in the way he said it — so full of fondness and unspoken adoration — that it made your chest ache in the best way.

You turned your face into him, your mouth brushing over his in a barely-there motion before deepening, slower and softer, the shift between you easy and seamless. His hands slid upward, fingers tangling gently in your hair, his touch steady and deliberate, holding you as if to tell you he wasn’t going anywhere. Your arms wrapped around his neck, your hands resting against his shoulders before sliding up, your fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck as you pulled him closer.

There was no rush, no frantic urgency — just the quiet, natural rhythm of your lips meeting his, the faint hum of his contented sigh brushing against your mouth. His shoulders eased beneath your touch, the tension melting away as though your closeness was the only thing keeping him grounded. And still, even in the tenderness of the moment, the faint trace of a smile lingered at the edges of his mouth, something you could feel as much as you could sense.

You melted into him, the rest of the world fading into the soft glow of the streetlights overhead. The night seemed to hold its breath around you, wrapping the two of you in a stillness that felt sacred, like this moment was meant to exist outside of time. Everything about it — his touch, his warmth, the way his arms held you like you were the only thing that mattered — felt quiet and perfect, a kind of magic that only belonged to you both.

[yaut-jaknowit]

Y'know what? I think it'd be funny as hell if a human farmer (y/n) befriended a xenomorph. And it acts like a cute, drooling, ..alien dog. And their male Yautja parter tolerates the Xeno while in front or near his human mate. But when y/n disappears. They both are just at each other's throats?

If that's okay, also I love your writing! And I cannot wait to see more! And I hope you have a lovely day/night

Lost Dog

Character: Con'tei (Male Yautja) x GN!Reader with Xeno

Word Count: 1784

Summary: As a farmer on a planet not many know, you live your life contently. Waking up early to go out into the fields and work. It's just yourself and your mate, Con'tei. Until a special alien shows up and worms its way into your soft heart instantly.

Author Note: This is such a funny idea.

Masterlist

Ao3

Ever since that day you stumbled upon an injured Xenomorph, it’s been attached to your hip. Since that same day, Con’tei has wanted nothing more than to tear the alien apart. No matter how many times you asked him to at least be civil with the thing. The Yautja has his own thoughts of the Xenomorph. That being having its head upon his wall. Specifically above the bed. Its nonexistent, lifeless eyes peering down at you. Con’tei was sure to let you of every detail to paint a picture inside of your mind. Every time.

When the Xeno looked up at you, guts nearly splattered across the edge of your corn field, you had fallen. Though it has no eyes, you felt compelled to help it back to your dwelling. Con’tei had been off on a hunt and left you enough time to patch up the creature. Until the Yautja returned and smelled the scent of a hard meat on the property. It took lots of sweet talking to get the male to calm down and listening to your voice.

Finally, Con’tei was able to think clearly after he saw you were okay. No injuries. No smell of blood. Not even fear in the air. The Yautja was more than confused on the what, why, and how. That only grew worse when he only had to take step to the side.

There in the bath tub of the dwelling sat the observing hard meat, just peering at him. You physically had to wrap your arms around Con’tei’s thin waist and pull the newly blooded away.

Worst of all, the xeno morph lept out of the tub when it saw the struggle. Its instincts flaring to life. It thought you were fighting the enemy and rushed out to help. Water dripped down its black, scared hide. Sharp silver teeth were bared at Con’tei. Its long, black tail whipped side to side.

A yelp slipped from your lips. Con’tei pushed you off of him a bit too harsh and lunged at the creature. You fell down to the ground and landed wrong on your wrist.

The two clash for a second when your sharp cry sounded an alarm. Each held onto the other, ready to draw blood. They whipped their heads over to your lying, prone form. One pushed at the other and nearly climbed over each other.

Con’tei reaches you first and kneels down at your side. But, he’s shoved off to the side by a black, skeleton hand. A deep bellow tumbled out of his chest as he reared back up to kill the hard meat somehow in your shared home.

It’s your crying that breaks the two of them up again. They separate once more to rush to your aid. For the moment, they were able to ignore the other. Con’tei’s dark orange hands touches at your hands. One was pinned to your chest by the other. Pain radiating from one. A deep purr vibrated from the Yautja in a comforting manner. His bright yellow eyes scanned over the rest of you. The only thing that was of concern was the wrist you were clutching onto.

Across from you, the xenomorph was whining and nudging its elongated head against your cheek. The move didn’t go unnoticed by Con’tei who snarled and scooped you away from the creature. This nearly became a tug-of-war match until you shouted, “stop it!” Each alien stilled.

“Stop fighting, please! I’m in pain and you’re only making it worse.” Con’tei whimpered and bowed his head in a manner that resembled a kicked puppy. “And you’re not making it any better by flailing around.” The xeno lowered its own head, tail dropping to the ground.

“Now, please, put me down. I think I just pulled a muscle in my wrist no thanks to the two of you,” you snapped at the two of them. The anger mostly coming from the pain sprouting from your throbbing wrist.

One look in your heat gaze had the Yautja listening to you. Your feet gingerly touched the ground. Con’tei was hesitant to let go of you at first. His gaze couldn’t stop flickering towards the creature he was sworn to kill. His muscles twitched as he fought every single cell in his body not to leap over you and slaughter it where it stood.

Instantly, you turned towards Con’tei and jabbed a finger into his chest. “Hey! Look at me, sir,” you demanded. The burnt orange Yautja had to drag his gaze off of the xeno. You had just turned your back to it with little care of your safety. “I know you are freaking internally and externally but let me explain.”

He bristled. Of course, you better explain in why in Cetanu’s name is there a hard meat in your home. And why was is following you around? Why was is it protecting you? His first thought was dismissed when smelled no change to your body. It hadn’t implanted anything into you. Con’tei snorted and crossed his arms.

You couldn’t help the sigh, shoulders sagging a little. “Okay, I deserved that.” Con’tei could agree with that. “But, you must see it from my side. I was working the field when I stumbled across this poor thing, all injured and begging for help.” He was ready to shake some sense into you. “I took it home and nursed it back to health. Now, its like a dog! It follows around and helps me around the house and even in the field.”

His anger flooded back to Con’tei’s mind and nearly blinded him. How could the one person he loves in the universe say such stupidity in the moment? He knew you were smarter than this. Yet, here you were proving him wrong with each word that falls out of your mouth.

The xeno made its point by coming up behind you and nuzzling its ugly face into the crook of your neck. His muscles flexed. “And why do you have it our home? Why isn’t it dead?” Injured, you should’ve had little trouble by exterminating the cursed thing. Why did your heart have to be so big? Why did your luck have to be so terrible?

Your face soured. You stepped back and patted the top of the xenomorph’s smooth, shiny head. It gave a chuff and rubbed against you some more. “Because, it was injured! I had to save it. I wasn’t going to let it die! What kind of person do you take me for to leave an injured creature for dead?” By Paya’s name, if he didn’t love you so much. He desperately wanted to shake some sense into you. Maybe rattle the thought of care for it out of your head.

“Exactly why it should be dead. You had a chance to kill it. Why didn’t you take it?” His hunter mind couldn’t grasp the thought process of your ooman brain.

Those were the wrong words to say.

“I told you! It was injured and I’m not like you. It looked so sad and pathetic. Now, look at it! It’s like a puppy I’ve always wanted. A very…” you trailed off to glance over your shoulder. “A very big, scary puppy who would protect me!”

There was truth to your words. Clearly, it was willing to protect you from someone who could easily kill it. But to leave it to live, Con’tei couldn’t let himself live with that knowledge. Even if it showed compliancy to you at the moment, who knows when its baser instincts kick in and slaughter you or use your body for a host.

Con’tei huffed and narrowed his bright eyes on you. “I said no.” The Yautja was still young and recently gained his clan marking during his chiva against these blasted creatures.

The way your brows jumped at his denial; then, your gaze darkened. Con’tei felt a drop of fear fall into the pit of his stomach. “No? Well, mister, it’s not up to you. You go off on these hunts all by yourself for a week or so. I’m left all alone!” You turned your head and nuzzled against the unforgiving, smooth surface of the xenomorph’s cheek. “What happens if something attacks our home? I can’t protect it to save my life. With it, I could at least stand a chance.”

What were you thinking?! After everything he’s told you about his near failure during his chiva, you had wished for the hard meat to stay. You go against his direct order to protect you keep it!

Yet… the truth behind your words sunk deep into the soft tissue of his brain. The knowledge this planet held many dangers while you sit at home, unprotected and weaponless, churned his stomach. Con’tei gritted his mandibles and looked over your shoulder. The creature had its face turned towards him, chin resting on your shoulder.

He tried to think of ways to convince you. Maybe, he’ll spend what little credits he had to get you a creature to protect you. Something he could train from a young age. Something that wasn’t a hard meat that could tear out your throat in a instant.

When his gaze returned to you, his stubbornness finally cracked. A groan sounded from him. “Little one, I swear…” he trailed off then let his shoulders sag. “Alright, alright. Fine. But, you must have it trained. A collar will be put on it. It will send an electric shock through its body, immobilizing it should it turn on you. I’m warning you, my mate.”

All of his stories he’s told you were fresh in your mind. His near defeat of his own life by these creatures. But, the loneness of sitting in an empty house made life difficult.

A squeal pierced the air. Your arms snatched around his waist. Con’tei jolted at first then let himself settle in your embrace before his own arms return the motion. The hunt had been long and made him long for this affection with you this entire time. What is he going to do with his little ooman who has him wrapped around their tiny pinkie finger?

With a sigh, he lets you go.

“Okay, you two be good then. I’ve gotta go clean up the bathroom!” You blew each of them a kiss before skipping towards the bathroom. The door was closed behind you to clean up the mess the xenomorph had left behind in his wake of protection.

Both of the alien’s watched as the door closed behind you. Then, they snapped their heads towards the other. A second paused the still air. Each lunged at the other in a clash of fangs, claws, and snarls.

[dorabellingham]

Boyfriend material

headcanon

characters: jude x fem!reader

may contain spelling and translation errors!

1. Affectionate in small gestures

Jude is the kind of boyfriend who pays attention to small details and uses them to surprise you. He remembers your favorite coffee, the way you like your blankets made, or how you like your eggs scrambled. No matter how busy he is with games and practices, he always finds time to send you messages like:

“Just a reminder that you are amazing. Can’t wait to see you later.”

“I love you so much babe, remember to eat and drink water. Counting down the hours until I see you.”

2. Protective, but just right

Jude is naturally protective. He holds your hand in crowds, walks outside on sidewalks, and his gaze automatically scans for anything that might make you uncomfortable. He’s not controlling, but if someone crosses the line, like making disrespectful comments, his smile disappears and he deals with the situation firmly and respectfully.

3. Romantic at heart

Jude specializes in surprises. He doesn't wait for special occasions to show his love; he might show up with flowers because he saw one that reminded you of one, or organize an outdoor picnic for a quiet moment away from the cameras. When he's traveling, he'll write you notes and leave them hidden around the house for you to find while he's away.

"Hi, sweetie, if you found this note, it means I'm almost home. Love you!"

4. Unconditional support

No matter what your dream or struggle, Jude is there to support you. He listens attentively when you share your ideas or concerns, offers advice when asked, and is your biggest cheerleader in any endeavor. During difficult times, he is your rock, always transmitting calm and security.

5. Playful manner

Jude has an infectious sense of humor. He loves to make inside jokes, tickle you unexpectedly, and come up with cute and silly nicknames. Sometimes, he'll even steal food from your plate just to watch you complain, and then laugh, returning the forkful with a mischievous look.

"Hey babe, I think I'm in the mood for some of your dessert... How about sharing it with me, huh?"

6. Family first

He loves spending time with his family and includes you in everything. From quiet evenings watching TV with his parents to lively lunches with his brother Jobe, Jude makes sure you feel like you’re part of his personal life.

“Honey, my mom invited us to have lunch with her tomorrow, do you want to go with me?”

7. Undivided attention

Even though he's a star, when he's with his girlfriend, he have you undivided attention. Jude is the type of guy who puts his phone on airplane mode during a dinner date or a lazy afternoon and makes sure to maintain eye contact during conversations, showing that you're a priority.

8. A little jealous, but adorable

Jude trusts you, but he can't help but feel a touch of jealousy when someone is too obvious about flirting. He doesn't cause a scene, but his arm around you becomes tighter, and he makes a point of referring to you as "my girl" in conversation.

9. Loves routine

He loves the little things: sharing a couch to watch a bad movie, cooking together, and even going out to buy last-minute groceries. For Jude, anything with you is better than the most glamorous life without you.

"Babe, how about we watch a movie together tonight? It's raining and I wanted to stay with you."

10. Proud

Jude always finds a way to show you how special you are. Whether in public or in private, he doesn't hide how much he admires you and makes sure you know how amazing he thinks you are.

"I think everyone should know that I have the most amazing girlfriend in the entire world!"

[littlespoonevan]

your hand in my pocket to keep us both warm

post 8x08 because i'm SAD in a way that can only be eased with buddie hurt/comfort 💔 title from abstract (psychopomp) by hozier

-

Buck is the one to drive him to the airport because who else would it be?

It feels a lot like deja vu as he approaches the glass doors of Departures but his step only falters for a moment before Eddie’s hand is catching his sleeve at the elbow and leading him through them. It’s further than Abby ever let him get.

Eddie lets him go as far the security line and he almost looks regretful when he turns to face Buck.

Buck would like to think he’s handled this well so far. He’s been supportive, helped Eddie choose his new home, listened to his fears about his parents, reassured him about Christopher, promised to oversee the shipping of the rest of Eddie’s stuff next week. He’s done everything right.

It hasn’t made any of this feel less wrong.

They look at each other now, awkward in a way they never are, until Eddie drops his bag and pulls him into a hug without saying anything.

Maybe because there’s nothing to say. Buck’s heart has been lodged in his throat since he parked the car; he’s not even sure he could say anything if he wanted to.

Eddie’s arms around him are a familiar weight though so Buck allows himself to sink into them. To tuck his chin into the crook of Eddie’s shoulder and to fist his hands in the back of his jacket like if he holds on tight enough he might be able to convince Eddie to stay.

When Eddie does pull back he makes no attempt to leave the circle of Buck’s arms. Instead one of his hands goes to that same spot at the juncture of Buck’s neck – always the same spot – and when his thumb makes contact with the divot in Buck’s throat he seeks out Buck’s gaze.

“Hey,” he murmurs. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Buck croaks, the tell-tale burn behind his eyes becoming more pronounced by the second.

“Like I’m Abby,” Eddie sighs. “Or Ali. Or Tommy. I’m not leaving you, Buck.”

Buck tries to laugh but it comes out too hysterical and Eddie’s hand tightens on his neck.

“I’m leaving,” he allows. “But I’m not leaving you.”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you,” Buck says, the words wobbling in the middle. His hands are still twisted in Eddie’s jacket.

“And you think I do?” Eddie asks with a half-laugh. “Who am I gonna talk to when my folks are driving me crazy? Who am I gonna talk to when I do anything? Besides, you think Chris will accept you not visiting at least once a month?”

Truthfully, Buck has no idea what Chris wants right now but he clings to Eddie’s words anyway.

“Everyone at work is gonna find me insufferable. It was bad enough that last time you weren’t there.”

Eddie laughs again, thumb brushing Buck’s neck seemingly absentmindedly. “No they won’t. And I’ll be on Facetime so much it’ll be like I never left.”

Buck ducks his head but nods anyway, gathering up the courage to say what he wants to say next. “I know you have to go,” he starts, steeling himself as he makes himself meet Eddie’s gaze. “But please don’t go forever.”

Eddie’s expression blanks, his mouth parting over nothing. Buck can only stare back, hoping that just this once it might be different. That he won’t get a, ‘Take care of yourself, Buck,’ and a hand to the cheek before the person in front of him disappears forever.

Eddie doesn’t touch his cheek. Instead he presses their foreheads together hard enough to hurt, hard enough to make Buck’s breath catch and rush out of him on a shaky exhale.

“I won’t. I promise,” Eddie breathes and his hand moves from Buck’s neck to the back of Buck’s head and Buck can’t help wondering for a moment what would happen if he closed the distance between them. If Eddie would kiss him back.

It’s not a thought he’s ever entertained before but he’s thinking it now and it feels…like it makes sense. Like an inevitability.

And what a time to have a realisation like that.

Eddie leans back then and Buck forces himself to unclench his hands, attempting to smooth out the back of Eddie’s jacket with trembling hands.

“You should go,” he says because Eddie won’t.

Eddie nods faintly in agreement and it looks like it takes every ounce of effort for him to take a step back. Buck picks up his bag for him, offers it to him, and tries for a weak smile so Eddie will know it’s okay. That he can go and Buck won’t cause a scene.

“I’ll call you as soon as I get to my parents place.”

Buck nods. “Give Chris a hug for me.”

“I will.”

Eddie starts looking towards the security line again and Buck blurts out, “Tell him I love him.”

Eddie looks back to him, a devastating smile of understanding on his face. “He knows already. But I will.”

Buck nods again and then there’s nothing left to say. Eddie turns to go and Buck does the same because he can’t watch until he’s out of sight. It hurts too much already and he can barely hold his tears back as it is.

He doesn’t need to watch himself get left behind again.

~

He’s just unlocking his car when his phone rings. He doesn’t check who it is as he climbs in, just shoves the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he reaches for his seatbelt.

“Keep me company while I wait for my flight?”

He straightens so quickly the phone almost falls into his lap but he catches it just in time. And he tries to laugh but he thinks it might come out more like a sob. “Keep me company on the drive home?”

“Always,” Eddie says like they’re driving home from work after a long shift.

Buck switches his phone to speaker mode and looks down at the keys in his hand, at the keys to the loft, Maddie’s place and Eddie’s house respectively, considering his options before turning on the ignition.

“So there’s the guy at the gate-“ Eddie starts and Buck lets the sound of his voice wash over him. Allows himself just one singular moment where he closes his eyes and holds his hand to his chest before he pulls himself together and drives out of his space.

Eddie is offering him a play by play of the guy at the gate who’s insisting his luggage is not chirping and Buck gets his breath back enough to make a quip about how that made it through the security scanner.

When he reaches the freeway it takes hardly any thought at all for him to take the exit that’ll get him to the Diaz house fastest.

He’s going home after all.

~

[tokkiwrites]

"Summer nights like this had a way of unfolding secrets. The kind of nights when the air hung heavy with pine and smoke, the moon glinting like a shy voyeur against the rippling surface of the lake. This wasn’t your first time at the Washington family cabin, but it was the first time that everything felt different. No parents. No rules. And, worst of all, no escape from the fact that Josh Washington was here, and he wasn’t yours."

summary: Your best friend invites you to their annual summer trip to the family cabin in the mountains—something you've done before. But this year is different: no parents. After years of secretly harboring feelings for your best friend’s brother, Josh, you decide this is the perfect chance to finally confess.

tags: best friend's brother!joshua washington x f!reader, childhood crush, both josh and reader like each other but act oblivious (josh more than reader), reader is low key obsessed with josh, minor age gap, alternative universe where Hannah and Beth are still alive, some angst, p in v (protected), virginity loss (reader), kind of fluff, josh talks you through it (yummy!!), fingering (f receiving), idiots in love 🫶🏻

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ⁩ tokkis note 𑁯 ✿ hey... how yall doing... the rami malek fever is so real i had to write something. so i did. 6,45k words to be more exact, teehee! i dont quite know what this is, but i had fun writing it, like it got me giggling and shit so yeah 💀 if you see any typos close your eyes, forget you saw anything. enjoy!

7th grade. That was when you stopped thinking of Josh Washington as just Hannah’s annoying older brother. Between the way he stayed behind after soccer practice to teach you how to kick a penalty and the smirk he threw over his shoulder, like he knew you were watching him. The first time when you actually considered Josh not being a jerk like other boys. In 9th grade, he became the hottest guy you had ever met. or maybe you just got so used to his face that you didn't want to look at other boys. Fast forward to now, you're starting college in one month, and things have changed in a way. maybe for the worstㅡ because he's all you can think about.

“You’re staring again.” Hannah’s voice snaps you out of your daze. She’s grinning, nudging your ribs as the two of you sit on the couch in the cabin. “You’re so obvious.” You blink and turn toward her, cheeks heating. “I—I wasn’t staring!”

“Oh, you were,” she teases, popping a chip into her mouth. “What is it this time? The hair? The jawline? Or did you finally notice his arms? I mean, have you seen him chop firewood? That’s peak Josh.”

“Hannah!” You hiss, smacking her arm. She only laughs, and you can’t help but roll your eyes. But she’s not wrong. Somewhere between your senior year of high school and now, Josh had gone from the boy who made stupid puns to the man who could take your breath away just by walking into a room. Unfortunately, it seems like he doesn’t notice.

“Still no move, huh?” Hannah says, lowering her voice. “You’re not seriously going to spend another summer in silent agony, are you?” You sigh. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, Josh, remember me? The girl who used to wear braces and cried when I lost my retainer? Cool. Wanna make out?’” Hannah snorts so loudly that Beth, sitting nearby with her book, looks over with a frown. “What are you two laughing about now?”

“Nothing,” you and Hannah say in unison, though she’s still stifling giggles. Beth looks at you both, arching a brow. “Sure,” she says, clearly unconvinced, but she doesn’t push. She returns to her book, leaving you free to squirm under Hannah’s knowing gaze.

Josh doesn’t stick around to witness your humiliation. He’s already disappeared into the kitchen, and the sound of the fridge opening and the clinking of bottles is the only thing tethering you to the moment. “Do something this trip,” Hannah murmurs, leaning close so Beth doesn’t overhear. “Seriously. You’ve been mooning over him since forever. And now—” she waves a hand at the open windows, the twilight stretching wide like a stage—“this is your moment.”

“Hannah, it’s not like that,” you say, but even you don’t believe it. Not when your heart skips every time Josh is within ten feet of you. “It’s exactly like that,” she shoots back, voice low but insistent. “He likes you, too, you know.” You look at her sharply. “What?”

“Oh, don’t give me that face,” Hannah says, rolling her eyes. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s just... Josh. Oblivious as hell.”

You’re about to argue, to tell her she’s wrong, that there’s no way Joshua Washington— carefree, clever, confident Josh, could ever see you like that. But before you can, his voice carries from the kitchen. “You two plotting something?” Your breath hitches, and Hannah, ever the instigator, grins. “Maybe,” she calls back. Josh reappears, beer in hand, and leans against the doorway. His green eyes flick between the two of you, and for a moment, you swear they linger on you. “Well, don’t blow up the cabin,” he says with a crooked smile before heading out onto the porch.

That night, the cabin settled into quiet. Beth retires early, Hannah tucked away in the room you’re sharing, and yet you can’t sleep. Your thoughts swirl—images of Josh’s hands, the way his eyes looked into yours, his voice, smooth and teasing, the way his smile felt like a hook tugging you somewhere you shouldn’t want to go.

The room feels suffocating, the summer heat pressing against your skin. You slip out of bed as quietly as you can, grabbing a towel and slipping into your swimsuit. The lake isn’t far. You’ve been there a hundred times before, but tonight, it feels like it’s waiting just for you. The water is cold when you first step in, but it’s a welcome relief, a shock that clears your head. You wade in deeper, letting the towel drop onto the shore, and soon, the swimsuit feels like too much. You hesitate, glancing back toward the cabin, but it’s silent and still. “Just you and the lake,” you whisper to yourself. The swimsuit peels away, and the water envelops you like a second skin. You float, staring up at the sky, letting the cool liquid carry the weight of your thoughts.

But then a voice shatters the stillness.

“Didn’t take you for a midnight swimmer.”

You jolt, water sloshing as you whirl toward the shore. Josh is standing there, hands in his pockets, his head cocked in that infuriatingly casual way he always manages. “Josh!” You shriek, sinking deeper into the water. “What are you doing out here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he says, stepping closer to the water’s edge. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Something like that,” you mutter, your cheeks burning even as the water cools your skin. His eyes sweep over the lake, lingering just long enough to make your heart race. “You always were full of surprises,” he says softly, almost to himself. “Are you just going to stand there and watch me, or are you joining?” you ask before you can think better of it. The question hangs in the air, bold and daring, and for a moment, you think you’ve scared him off. But then he grins.

“Alright.”

You watch, half in awe, as he pulls his shirt over his head, revealing the toned lines of his chest and the faint trail of scars along his ribs. He doesn’t stop there, shucking off his jeans until he’s left in his boxers.

The water ripples as he drops in, and suddenly, he’s closer than you expected, the space between you charged with something you can’t quite name. “This is nice,” he says, his voice quieter now, almost reverent. You nod, the words caught in your throat. “Do you ever feel like...” He trails off, his gaze fixed on the horizon. “Like there’s something just out of reach? Like you want to grab it, but you’re scared of what happens if you do?”

Your heart thuds. “All the time.” His gaze shifts to you, his expression unreadable. For a moment, you think he’s going to say something—something that will change everything. Instead, he leans back, letting himself float. “Good thing we’ve got the whole summer,” he murmurs.

You’re not sure if he’s talking to you or himself. But one thing is clear: you’ll spend every moment of this summer trying to pull him closer.

The next morning, the cabin feels alive with the quiet rustle of summer. Birds trill in the trees, and sunlight pours through the open windows, a golden invitation to start the day. Hannah is already on the deck with a cup of coffee, scrolling on her phone when you step out. “You’re up early,” she says, not looking up. You shrug, trying to hide how restless you’d been all night after what happened at the lake. “Couldn’t sleep.”

She raises a brow but doesn’t press. “Josh is down at the dock,” she says, nodding toward the lake. “Probably sulking. You know how he gets.”

You hesitate. “Why’s he sulking?”

She snorts. “Because the rest of the group isn’t getting here until tomorrow. You’d think one day without his entourage wouldn’t kill him.” You glance toward the lake. the memory of last night. Josh’s quiet words, the way the moonlight danced in his eyes, it's still fresh in your mind. “You should go,” Hannah says, smirking now. “Cheer him up. Or stare at him some more. Whatever works.”

“Hannah!” But she’s already gone, slipping back into the cabin and leaving you with no choice but to head toward the dock.

Josh is sitting on the edge of the wooden dock, his feet dangling in the water. The air smells like cedar and the faint tang of sunscreen. for a moment, you almost turn back. But then he glances over his shoulder and sees you. “Morning,” he says, his voice softer than usual. “Hey,” you say, stepping onto the dock and sitting a few feet away. For a while, neither of you speak. The lake stretches out before you, endless and still, and it feels like the world has shrunk to just the two of you.

“Big day ahead of us,” Josh says eventually, his tone laced with sarcasm. “Yeah,” you reply, matching his smile. “So many exciting activities. Staring at trees. Staring at water. Staring at each other.” He laughs, and the sound is warm and unexpected. “Careful. I might think you’re obsessed with me.” Your stomach flips, but you keep your voice light. “Who says I’m not?”

Josh looks at you then, really looks at you, and for a second, you wonder if you’ve said too much. But instead of teasing, his expression softens. “I don’t get you sometimes,” he says quietly.

“What do you mean?” He shrugs, kicking at the water. “You’re just...different. Not like everyone else.” oh boy. “Good different or bad different?” you ask, your heart in your throat. Josh doesn’t answer right away. His gaze shifts to the endless forest, and when he finally speaks, his voice pangs through you.

“Good,” he says. "Definitely good.”

The rest of the day is a blur of lazy activities—helping Beth organize the kitchen, listening to Hannah’s playlist on the deck, and avoiding Josh just enough to keep your heart from imploding. By sunset, the air is thick with the anticipation of the group’s arrival tomorrow. Hannah flops onto the couch beside you, phone in hand. “Sam says they’re leaving first thing in the morning,” she says. “So, enjoy the quiet while it lasts.”

“Quiet?” Beth calls from the kitchen, laughing. “Have you met us?” Hannah rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. Tomorrow it’s going to be chaos. Jess and Emily bickering, Chris and Ashley pretending they’re not totally in love, Matt trying to keep the peace...and then there’s Josh.”

“What about Josh?” You ask before you can stop yourself. Hannah gives you a look. “You tell me.”

That night, you find yourself back at the lake, drawn by the same restless energy that kept you up the night before. You don’t plan on skinny dipping again—it feels too risky with everyone around—but the water calls to you anyway, soothing and eternal.

And maybe, just maybe, Josh feels the same right now.

You’re sitting on the shore, toes dipping into the cool water when you hear footsteps behind you. “Couldn’t sleep again?” You don’t have to turn around to know it’s him. “I could say the same to you,” you reply, glancing back. Josh sits beside you, his shoulder brushing yours, and the warmth of him is enough to set your skin buzzing. “It’s weird, isn’t it?” he says after a while.

“What is?”

“Being back here. Without... you know. Adults. Rules.” You nod, the weight of his words settling over you. “Feels different.”

“Yeah,” he says, his voice quieter now. “Makes you think about stuff.”

“Like what?” you ask, heart pounding.

Josh doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he picks up a stone and skips it across the water. One, two, three perfect skips before it sinks. “Like what happens next,” he says finally. “For all of us. Feels like everything’s about to change.”

You don’t know what to say to that. So, instead, you reach for your own stone, throwing it as hard as you can. It skips once before plunking into the water. “Guess I’ll just have to stick around and figure it out,” you say, keeping your voice light.

Josh looks at you, his eyes shadowed and searching, and for a moment, you think he’s going to say something. what you want to hear, maybe. something important. But instead, he smiles, that same lopsided grin that’s been haunting your dreams for years. “Good,” he says.

“I’d miss you otherwise.”

The cabin feels too small the moment the others arrive. It’s a blur of bodies, laughter, and chaos as the others spill into the space, dragging in bags, cooler boxes, and enough energy to wake the dead. It’s not that you mind them—you’ve known most of Josh’s friends for years, but something about the way the cabin hums now feels different. The tight, intimate bubble you’d shared with Josh, Hannah, and Beth is gone, replaced by noise and the easy rhythm of their group. You feel...adrift, to say the least. And watching Josh slip seamlessly back into his role as the charismatic center of attention only makes it worse.

By the time night falls, the cabin is alive with music, the sharp pop of bottle caps, and the low buzz of conversation. You find yourself perched in a corner of the living room, a half-empty drink in hand, watching the others like a ghost at your own party.

Josh is at the center of it all, as always. He’s standing near the couch, laughing at something Sam said, and the sound is enough to send your stomach twisting into knots. Sam, of course, is radiant—effortlessly pretty in her cropped sweatshirt, her hair catching the light like spun gold. She’s animated, gesturing with her hands, and every time Josh leans closer to hear her, you feel like the room tilts off its axis. “Hey,” Hannah says, sliding in next to you with a knowing look. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you lie, taking a sip of your drink. Hannah snorts. “Subtle.” You glance at her, frowning. “What?”

“You know what,” she says, tilting her head toward Josh and Sam. “Seriously, if you’re going to keep looking at him like that, you might as well do something about it.”

“I’m not looking at him,” you protest weakly. Hannah rolls her eyes. “Sure. And I’m not your best friend.” She pauses, watching you for a moment before her expression softens. “Look, you’re not exactly subtle when it comes to Josh. But for what it’s worth? I think he’s just as clueless about how he feels as you are.” Her words settle into your chest, a mix of hope and frustration, but before you can respond, Jess calls out from the other side of the room.

“Hey! Who’s up for Spin the Bottle?” You couldn’t escape it, let's be honest.

You don’t know how it happens, but somehow, you end up in the circle. Maybe it’s the drinking, or maybe it’s Hannah giving you a pointed nudge as everyone sits on the floor, but before you know it, you’re sandwiched between her and Ashley, your pulse pounding in your ears. Josh is directly across from you, his green eyes bright in the firelight. Sam is to his left, Jess to his right, and the knot in your stomach tightens. “Okay, ground rules,” Jess says, grinning wickedly. “No chickening out. You spin, you kiss. Period.”

There’s a chorus of laughter and a few groans, but no one protests. Chris goes first, spinning the bottle with dramatic flair. It lands on Ashley, who blushes furiously but leans in to kiss him. The group erupts in cheers and wolf whistles, and you can’t help but smile despite yourself.

One by one, the bottle makes its rounds. Jess and Emily kiss, Matt kisses Ashley despite him protesting, and eventually, it’s Josh’s turn. He spins the bottle with a lazy flick of his wrist, the glass neck twirling endlessly before it slows, stops, and lands on Sam.

Your stomach drops.

“Oh, come on,” Jess says, clapping her hands. “This is gonna be good.” Josh raises an eyebrow, glancing at Sam. She shrugs, smiling, and leans forward.

You can’t look away.

Their lips meet in a brief, playful kiss—nothing dramatic, nothing earth-shattering. but it’s enough. Enough to make your chest ache, your fingers tighten around the drink in your hand. When they pull apart, everyone cheers again, and Josh laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Your turn,” he says, handing the bottle to Sam. But you don’t care. You’re too busy swallowing the lump in your throat, trying to ignore the way your vision blurs at the edges.

Later, when the game ends and the group begins to disperse, you slip outside, the cool night air a welcome relief from the suffocating cabin. The lake stretches out before you, dark and endless, and for a moment, you let yourself breathe.

“You okay?” The voice startles you, and you turn to see Josh standing there, hands in his pockets. “I’m fine,” you say quickly, brushing at your eyes. He frowns, stepping closer. “You sure? You looked kind of...I don’t know, off.” You force a laugh, crossing your arms. “I’m fine, Josh. Really.” For a moment, he just looks at you, his brow furrowed like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle.

“You’re a terrible liar,” he says softly. The words hit harder than they should, and before you can stop yourself, you snap. “What do you want me to say, Josh? That I didn’t love watching you kiss Sam? That it didn’t suck seeing you two all cozy earlier?” His eyes widen, caught off guard, and for a second, you regret everything. But then his expression shifts—something softer, something almost...guilty.

“I didn’t...” He trails off, running a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t trying to...” You shake your head, wrapping your arms tighter around yourself. “Forget it. It’s not your fault.” Josh hesitates, like he’s weighing his next words carefully. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” he says finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

You glance at him, your heart aching at the look in his eyes—conflicted, searching. “I know,” you say quietly. “It’s fine. Really.” But it’s not fine. And as you turn back toward the cabin, leaving Josh standing by the lake, you can’t help but wonder if this summer is going to break you before it’s over.

The sun hung low in the sky, painting the cabin in hues of orange and gold. The group was scattered—Jess and Emily were bickering over sunscreen, Chris and Ashley were curled up on the deck talking in low tones, and Sam was by the lake with Hannah, skipping stones. It was all too perfect, too idyllic, except for the hollow ache in your chest.

Josh had been avoiding you all day.

It wasn’t like he was being obvious about it—Josh had a knack for slipping into conversations, filling the room with his sharp wit and charm like nothing was wrong. But you felt it. In the way his eyes would dart past you when you entered a room, the way his laugh seemed just a little louder when you weren’t around.

And maybe you were just as bad, lurking in the corners, pretending not to notice how often he touched Sam’s arm when they talked.

Written across your heart was all of your will to make him see—make him realize there was no in-between. There was either you and him, or the hollow echo of “I’m so sorry for your loss.” And wasn’t that what it felt like already? Like mourning something that never got the chance to live?

But it was his fault, wasn’t it?

For making you want him so much that your heart bled angel tears. For teaching your lips to sing sweet once-upon-a-times about a boy who was all sharp edges and hidden softness, who didn’t realize how much space he took up in your world.

By late afternoon, you found yourself back at the lake. It had become your refuge, the only place where you could breathe without the weight of Josh’s absence pressing against your ribs. Your toes skimmed the water’s edge, the cool ripples kissing your skin. You weren’t thinking about anything in particular—just the endless horizon, the way the light danced on the surface of the lake. But then a voice broke through your thoughts.

“You hiding out here now?” You didn’t have to turn around to know it was him. Again.

“Maybe I am,” you said, your voice sharper than you intended. Josh sighed, stepping closer. You could feel the heat of him at your back, the way his presence wrapped around you even when you didn’t want it to. “Look,” he said finally, his voice softer. “About the other night...” You turned to face him, cutting him off. “It’s fine, Josh. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“Yes, I do.” His eyes—those endless green eyes—searched yours, his expression uncharacteristically serious. “No, you don’t,” you said, forcing a smile. “We’re friends. That’s all we’ve ever been, right?”

Josh flinched, like the word “friends” was a physical blow. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said quietly. For a moment, you believed. But then you shook your head, stepping away. “You didn’t, Josh,” you said. “I’m fine.”

That night, the group decided to make a bonfire by the lake. The air was thick with laughter, the sharp scent of burning wood mingling with the sweetness of roasted marshmallows.

You sat with Hannah and Beth, listening as Chris tried to tell a ghost story that kept getting interrupted by Jess’s sarcastic commentary. Josh was across the fire, sitting next to Sam. He wasn’t touching her, wasn’t even looking at her, but it didn’t matter.

Your hair cascaded like Niagara under the firelight, your lips so soft—even if he had never felt them under his. Josh couldn’t stop looking at you. Your eyes glowed like an eternity, and your voice—when you laughed at something - it was the only antidote he’d ever had for all those sleepless nights.

He didn’t know how to fix this.

Didn’t know how to reach across the chasm that had opened between you since that stupid game of Spin the Bottle. And maybe it was selfish—maybe it was cruel—but he wanted you to look at him the way you used to. Like he was something worth believing in.

The fire burned low as the group began to drift off, one by one. Eventually, it was just you and Josh, the silence between you heavy and unspoken. “Shouldn’t you be with Sam?” you asked, your tone biting. Josh frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” you said quickly, standing. “I’m going to bed.” But before you could leave, his hand shot out, catching your wrist. “Wait,” he said, his voice urgent. You froze, refusing to look at him. “Can we just—” He hesitated, his grip loosening. “Can we talk?” You pulled away, your chest tightening. “Not tonight, Josh.” He didn’t stop you this time, and as you walked back to the cabin, you felt the weight of his gaze on your back.

Neither of you slept that night.

The stars were muted behind a veil of clouds, the air heavy with the promise of rain. The cabin was quieter now. Days of forced smiles and lingering silences had worn you thin, and tonight, you found yourself outside again, pacing the gravel path that led to the lake.

You didn’t mean to cry.

It started as an ache in your chest, spreading to your throat until the tears came unbidden, hot, and relentless. You wiped at them furiously, hating the way they betrayed you, but the anger only made it worse.

How could he be so blind?

You heard footsteps behind you, familiar and deliberate. You didn’t need to turn around to know it was Josh. “Go away,” you said, your voice raw.

He didn’t.

“Hey,” he said softly, his tone careful, like he was afraid you’d shatter if he spoke too loud. “What’s wrong?” You laughed bitterly, the sound hollow in the stillness. “You really have to ask?” Josh shifted, running a hand through his hair. “Look, if this is about—”

“It’s not about Sam!” you snapped, whirling to face him. “It’s about you, Josh. It’s always about you.” His brows furrowed, confusion flickering in his green eyes. “What are you talking about?” You threw your hands up, frustration spilling over. “Do you know what it’s like? To feel like you’re screaming into the void, hoping, praying, that someone will hear you? To love someone so much that it hurts, only for them to act like you don’t even exist?” Josh’s expression shifted, the confusion replaced by something deeper, something raw.

“I—”

“You don’t get it,” you interrupted, your voice breaking. “You never have. And maybe that’s my fault. Maybe I should’ve said something years ago, but I didn’t, and now... now I can’t even look at you without feeling like I’m suffocating.” The tears came harder now, and you didn’t bother to stop them. Josh took a step closer, his jaw tight, but he didn’t speak. “Say something,” you demanded, your voice trembling. “Anything.”

He didn’t.

The silence stretched, thick and suffocating, until you shook your head, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. “Of course,” you said, turning away. “Why did I even expect—” But before you could take another step, his hand caught your arm, spinning you back toward him.

And then he kissed you.

It wasn’t soft.

It was desperate, messy, like he was trying to say all the words he couldn’t find through the press of his lips. His hands cradled your face, grounding you even as the world seemed to tilt beneath your feet. For a moment, you froze, too stunned to move. But then your hands found his shirt, clutching the fabric like it was the only thing keeping you from falling apart. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath uneven.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner. I’m sorry I made you feel like this.” Your chest ached, the anger draining from your body as quickly as it had come. “Josh,” you started, but he cut you off, his green eyes locking onto yours. “I don’t deserve you,” he said, his voice cracking. “I know I don’t. But you’re all I think about. You always have been.” The words broke something in you, and the tears came again, but this time, they weren’t born of anger or frustration. “Then why didn’t you say anything?” you asked, your voice trembling. “Because I’m a coward,” he admitted, a humorless laugh escaping his lips. “Because I’m an idiot who didn’t realize what he had until he almost lost it.” You stared at him, your heart pounding in your chest.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his hands still framing your face. “I can’t.” You didn’t trust yourself to speak, so you did the only thing you could: you kissed him.

This time, it was softer, slower, filled with all the things you couldn’t put into words. And when you pulled back, his lips curved into a small, hesitant smile. “Does this mean you’ll stop avoiding me?” you asked, your voice shaking with a mix of laughter and tears. Josh chuckled, pressing another kiss to your forehead. “You'll start wishing I would."

The first low rumble of thunder rolled across the sky as you and Josh lingered, the sound so faint at first that you barely noticed it. But then it came again, louder this time, accompanied by a flash of light on the horizon, pulling you both from your kiss. You glanced up at the clouds gathering above, your chest tightening. Josh followed your gaze, a grin tugging at his lips. “You afraid of a little rain?” Before you could respond, the heavens opened up. The rain came in a sudden, torrential downpour, drenching you both in seconds. You yelped, the cold droplets soaking through your clothes as Josh let out a startled laugh. “Come on!” he shouted over the sound of the rain, grabbing your hand.

He led you up the path, past the cabin and deeper into the woods where a small gazebo stood, tucked beneath a canopy of trees. The structure was simple but charming, with its whitewashed beams and ivy creeping up the sides. Inside was a weathered but cozy couch, draped with soft blankets that someone—Hannah, probably—had left there.

You stumbled under the shelter just as another crack of thunder split the sky. The sound was deafening, but you couldn’t help laughing as you leaned against one of the beams, rainwater dripping from your hair and clothes. Josh stood across from you, his hands on his hips, his shirt clinging to his chest in a way that made your heart race all over again. His hair was a mess, dark strands sticking to his forehead, and yet he looked unfairly good—smiling at you like this was the best night of his life.

“Well,” he said, shaking water from his hair, “so much for staying dry.” You rolled your eyes, wrapping your arms around yourself. “You think?” He stepped closer, his grin softening into something warmer. “Here.” He reached for one of the blankets on the couch, shaking it out before draping it over your shoulders. His fingers brushed your arms as he adjusted it, and you shivered, though it wasn’t from the rain. “Thanks,” you murmured, your voice quieter now.

Josh sat beside you on the couch, his arm resting along the back as he leaned into the cushions. The rain pattered against the roof of the gazebo, a rhythmic hum that filled the silence between you. “You know,” he said after a moment, his voice low, “I kind of like this.” You glanced at him, eyebrows raised. “Getting caught in a thunderstorm?”

“No,” he said, chuckling. “Being here. With you.” You looked away, focusing on the rain streaking down the gazebo’s wooden beams. “Josh...” “Hey,” he said, his voice softer now. You felt his hand brush against yours, tentative, like he was testing the waters. “Look at me.” You turned to face him, your eyes meeting his. The rain softened the world around you, muting everything except the warmth in his gaze.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. It was just the two of you, sitting close on that old couch, the rain falling like a curtain around the gazebo. You could feel it, that familiar warmth creeping up within you, curling in your stomach every time Josh was near. Your heart thuds as his rough palm drags itself up your exposed thigh. Before you could stop yourself, the words rushed out of your mouth. “I’m a virgin!” Your face flushed a deep crimson as soon as the words left your lips, and you immediately covered your face with your hands in embarrassment.

Josh froze for a beat, his hand still resting on your thigh. You could feel his gaze on you, but you didn’t dare look up. And then, to your surprise, you heard him laugh softly, the sound low and warm. “Wait... really?” he asked, his voice filled with amusement but also something softer, something affectionate.

You peeked up at him, still hiding half of your face behind your hands, the flush on your cheeks deepening. “Yeah, really,” you mumbled, not sure whether you were embarrassed or relieved to finally say it out loud. Josh’s grin widened, and there was a playful glint in his eyes as he leaned a little closer. “I gotta admit, that’s a little... surprising.” He paused, his tone teasing but gentle. “But, hey, no rushing." Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of him being your first. You nodded, your eyes searching his face, still unsure whether to be embarrassed or... maybe a little proud?

His hand gently moved from your thigh to rest on your knee, his thumb brushing over your skin in slow, reassuring circles. “Don’t be embarrassed,” he said quietly, his voice soft. “I'm not trying anything unless you want to.” You looked up at him, meeting his gaze, and found only kindness there— no teasing, no judgment, just understanding. And somehow, that made everything feel a little easier. "I do want to... you know.." The words won't come out. “Still,” you muttered, “it’s... kind of awkward, don’t you think?” Josh chuckled, that warm smile never leaving his face. “Don't think so” he said, his voice low and serious now, “if you’re gonna share something like that with anyone, I’m glad it could be me."

You nod, scooting closer to him, palms now flush on his chest. his eyes scan your every inch, and you try to look away, but he captures your lips into another kiss. his lips trail down to your neck with a low "can I?" And you hum, trying your best to stay quiet as you get used to the feeling.

in no time, you're under him, both entangled, half naked and out of breath. he finally pulls off your panties, tossing them to the floor as he spreads your cunt wide open with two of his fingers, and god, you looked so erotic, all shying away as he loomed over, fingers playing with your pussy. "You ever touched yourself like this before?" You nod, bottom lip captive between your teeth. "J-just a little..." Oh, god. "You're so beautiful, fuckㅡ" And he's already losing his mind. Nights of fantasizing couldn’t have prepared him for this.

placing his palm behind your knee, he lifts up your legs, laying light pecks onto the plush of your thighs, thumb now tracing down to your puffy clit. Josh starts slowly, swirling his finger and still kissing your soft flesh. "Thank you for letting me do this." tracing the entrace with his index, he pushes his finger slow and deep inside, and you arch against him. this was it. he was where all of his dreams led him to. you looked like something straight out of a 80's porno. cunningly, josh moved his finger, and before you knew it he added another one. you squeezed perfectly around his digits, the sounds you and your pussy made driving him to the brink. "You hear that?" he asks, curling up his fingers, the wet sounds amplifying. "don't think I've ever had a pussy this wet before..." you whimper ans wrigle under his hold. "Josh.."

"What? It's the truth." he chuckles, speed picking up, his other hand now flush to your lower belly. "Want you to come. Can you do that for me?" he looks up, doe eyes searching for yours, and you can already feel your body convulsing. it didn't take long for you to finally give in and gift him what he asked for, coming just from his fingers. the way you thighs squeezed together, trapping his hand between them, soft pleads dripping from your lips like honeyㅡ he was done for. you were embarrassed, to say the least, hiding your face into his shirt he had taken off long ago. "Stop that, heyㅡ look at me, baby." Baby. did you just come again? "You did great. so good." he leans in over you, pressing a soft kiss on the bridge of your nose. "Do you wanna keep going?" and you say the most eager 'yes' known to man. "i got you." he smiles, eyes tracing every curve of your body. he takes off his pants along with hus briefs, letting his shaft spring free, small pearls of precum already gathered at the tip.

your eyes opened. what the fuck? is that normal? you knew your first would hurt, but seeing what Josh had going on for him you knew it would be the most painful experience for you yet. "Don't worry. I'll go slow." he stumbles a bit back, grabbing a hold of his trousers, palming his pockets before he mutters a soft 'there we go.' and takes out a shiny wrapperㅡ a condom. the opens it and carefully takes it out, lining it with the tip of his aching cock. "If you ever wanna stopㅡ" he start, whilst rolling the condom down his length. "Tell me. Yeah?" you nod.

taking his length into his fist, Josh pumps it a few times before he aligns it with your entrance that trickled with juices. he lets it slip in, and your eyes close as tears threaten to fall. you claw at his back, but Josh kisses you as he slides in some more, your walla wrapping perfectly around himㅡ just like it was meant to be. "It's okay, you're okay, baby."

after going in the last couple of inches, he starts to move, gently holding down onto your waist as he lets you adjust. "Doing so food for me."

just a few strokes after he feels you wrapping your legs around his hips, urging him deeper. "Please.." You plead, the sweetest sounds escaping your plump and swollen lips, and he swears he could come just by that. "Fuck, yeah, okayㅡ" he groans, with the way your teary eyes stared up at him. He starts to move his hips, harder, deeper, each sound you made an encouragement. His palms make his way under your back, pulling you up, almost to sit on his lap. He fucks up into you, your arms lazily draped over his flexed shoulders whilst his lips kiss soft blooms onto your chest. you clench around him. "J-Josh..." he shakes his head, laughing as his fingers dig deep into your flesh where you know bruises will appear later. "Don'tㅡ ha, I'm gonna come if you keep doing that." whines slip past your lips as his speed picks up. "Shit, shitㅡ" he pulls you closer, lips now stuck to your neck like a locket. "Y-you gonna come?" he prys. "Mhm.." you squeal as your eyes roll back. "Go ahead, for me." that's all it took. you come once again, nimbly wrapping around josh like a vine, walls squeezing him so tight. your mind goes blank, only soft moans gripping your throat as Josh pumps into you, finally releasing inside of the condom with a few thrusts.

you both breathe heavily, hearts beating in a sing-song, as you come down from your high. realization sets in as you meet each other's gaze. it was real. it really just happened.

"You okay?" he leans in, pressing a lazy kiss onto your lips. "Yeah... How okay can one be after having sex for the first time..?" and he laughs, playing with the strands of your hair. "Thank god for the rain covering the sound. You were super loud just thenㅡ"

"Josh!"

[puff0o0]

Soft touches, gentle eyes, shining tears. Your throat felt as if barbed wire was wrapped around it tightly, soft enough not to cut skin, but harsh enough to feel the strangling pain. You tried hard not to cry, knowing that if you did, you would feel weak and sensitive. But it was as if he was doing everything in his power to stop that.

Your simon made sure you were happy all the time. He understood you had your moments where you needed a cry, and he made sure he was the anchor that held the ship down. But if it was preventable, he did his damn hardest to make sure it didn't affect you. If it meant harming someone else to protect your feelings? Then he was harming that person.

You gave him a feeling of life and happiness, a feeling that would ruin him forever if you were to disappear.

No one could ever replace the soft tears his heart cries out when he wakes up next to you in the morning and sees you still asleep.

No one could replace the view of the sunlight cascading over your features and giving it a warm glow that not even a painting could properly resemble

No one could ever replace how protective he felt when he saw just a tear fall from your cheek

His gentle, yet scarred hands brushed over yours before finally taking your cold hands into his, warming it with his hands. The hands that have killed many and harmed many, the hands that have made decisions that have harmed few but saved thousands, were holding yours as if the absence of their presence could make you go away. He held them gently yet firmly, making a soft feeling of warmth go through you despite your vulnerable state

You just wanted everything to go away, to be alone and for everyone to forget about you. However, there was that small part of you that craves to be seen and held, that wanted someone to finally act like they cared about you and listened to you. He didn't force you to talk about it, he didn't force you to stop crying. He wanted to be your rock, to be the one to break that overflowing glass bottle of emotions you forced to close. He wanted to help you realize that he would always be there for you, no matter how many hours or days he was away

"It's a'right, luv. I'm listenin', jus keep talkin' to me"

"You're safe, y'don't have to worry 'bout a thing"

"I love you so much, luv"

He let you wail into his chest while rubbing your back, mumbling sweet words that could have been etched in a sweet vanilla cream. Every word was as if it was carved and baked with you in mind, making you cry harder and harder as they were words you desperately needed

He would make sure his presence gives you the peace and kindness you deserve

[rush-the-stars]

cw: reader is femme presenting in a skirt. and an actor bc im feeling self-indulgent. otherwise n/a. probs ooc for sae lol he’s maybe a lil too playful. but alas.

***

“your friend is trying to set us up.”

the night is damp and cold—biting enough that your fingers and tips of your ears ache with it as you stand outside this swanky, upscale speakeasy. its smoky and dark and smoldering in there, so the night air is a sharp balm, a rush of clarity.

especially after a drink or two had gone to your head.

you’d been dragged out by friends who mean well but are nosy, and desperately trying to get you to let loose. not focus on work—maybe find someone.

you roll your eyes and suck your teeth.

“she knows i don’t like athletes.”

“yeah, i don’t like actors, either.”

you finally let your gaze fall on itoshi sae; dressed smart in black slacks and some expensive, maroon turtleneck. looks maybe like cashmere, or some other soft, plush fabric that would feel a little too good to run your hands over—

his jacket is leather. rich and dark. it looks warm and supple.

and he is handsome. kind of ridiculously so, with his long lashes and artfully tousled hair. but he’s some friend of a friend they’d also dragged out tonight and he’s hardly said a word, hardly changed his facial expression. he’s not really your type, so you don’t really know what your friend is thinking—

“looks like it’s not meant to be then. too bad for her.” you reply with a shrug. you wrap your arms around yourself, trying to keep out more of the frigid wind as it whispers past.

but then you cock your head, consider him for a moment.

“wait. why don’t you like actors?”

there’s just the slightest, most horrible quirk upwards at the corner of his mouth.

there’s a little skip in the tempo of your heartbeat, too.

you bite back a shiver.

“why don’t you like athletes?” he returns easily. he shoves his hands into his pockets and your gaze flickers to them—big and long and lithe—before they disappear into his slacks.

“they’re cocky and smarmy.” you reply.

“funny. i don’t like actors for the same reason.”

“i’m not smarmy.” you snip.

“no, maybe not smarmy.” sae says, “but you’re cocky.”

“i’m confident.” you correct and you make the mistake of facing him and trying to peer up into his face with this little furrow on your brow. he’s half-lidded as he looks down at you, unbothered, except for the glint in his cold eyes—

“you’re vain.” he replies, and you think he’s trying to bite back a smile. “and spoiled. you’re used to getting what you want.”

you make a sound like a scoff, heat rushing to your face for reasons beyond you. it’s not enough to keep out the chill and when you move your hand to your hip, you have to keep your teeth from chattering to say, “because i do get what i want.”

“see?” he says, and you think it’s the most amused he’s been all night, “spoiled.”

it’s enough to irritate you, enough to make your eyes flash.

“i get what i want because i fight for it.” you snap back and now there’s more bite behind your words, crossing your arms across your chest again, “you don’t last long in this industry if you don’t, mr. fancy soccer player.”

you say soccer player with enough disdain that he laughs a little.

it’s the first time you’ve heard him laugh all night. you can’t help but stamp your foot a little;

“ugh! see, you are smarmy!”

“such a temper.” he sighs, “are you always like this?”

“are you always like this?” you bite back.

“cocky and smarmy?” he asks and this time, he smiles a little more—enough to disarm you. he’s got such a stupidly handsome smile. sly in the corners, bit crooked for all his perfection.

he’s so—

“yes!”

he shrugs. the wind rushes past and your teeth finally chatter and click together as you shiver hard.

and then, with his usual apathy, he says, “we should get you back inside. it’s cold out.”

and now he looks over you, holding your arms around your middle and trying to keep warm, shivering in your tights and little skirt. you hadn’t grabbed your jacket on the way out, thinking you’d just get a moment of air. you hadn’t anticipated him to follow you or—

“i’m fine.” you sniff, “i wanted air.”

there’s a moment of silence, before he suddenly moves. he shrugs off his leather jacket and drops it over your shoulders.

you stare up at him in shock as he fixes it to you—and its still warm from his body heat, enveloping you like a physical touch. it smells like cologne, too; black tea and sandalwood, surprisingly warm, before there’s a little bite of musk. maybe leather, from the jacket.

you try to recover, “why are you giving me this?”

“because you’re cold.” he says dryly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“what is my friend gonna think when i walk in wearing your jacket?” you ask now, looking up at him through your lashes. he finally lets his hands fall from the lapels of it, standing there in front of you.

“that you asked for my jacket because you were cold.”

“i didn’t ask!” you huff and again, a flicker of a smile darts across his face; there and gone like a shooting star.

“that’s not how i remember it—you asked and pleaded for it because you were just so cold.” he says in that dry way he has. but his eyes are bright, dancing with amusement.

you push him away a little, and you hear what might be a huff of laughter, “i did not! do not go telling people that!”

“—and well, you always get what you want, don’t you?” he asks, “so i had to give you my jacket.”

“i don’t want your jacket!” you snap, even as you hold it around yourself, cling to its warmth.

he shrugs, apathetic again, “i don’t care what she thinks.” and then he says, “don’t stay out here too long.”

“i’ll do what i want.” you sniff, as he starts to turn away, back inside. you fist your hands on the inside of his jacket and pull it tighter to you, trying to drown yourself in the warmth that’s still lingering from him and—

you call out to him before he makes it to the door, “i thought you don’t like actors?”

and he looks over his shoulder, small smile a flash across his face, there and gone so quick you start to doubt you even caught it;

“i don’t.”

[darlingsblackbook]

That time when you betray him

"Y/n?"

I froze at the sound of his voice. A chill ran through me whole body at the realization that I had screwed up. Completely and utterly screwed up.

My body felt as if concrete had been poured all over it, I could not bring myself to physically move-as if I could make myself invisible by staying still.

"What are you doing?" He asked, but I had a feeling he already knew. He knew. I screwed up and now he knew. I could feel it in his voice, the slight- barely noticable- tremble, the tone that held the tiniest bit of hope- hope that it might not be what it looks like-

The hope that I had not just betrayed him.

Betrayed us.

"You're killing me with this silence, sweetheart." He joked even though his voice held no humour, it was just the way he dealt with things. He had told me that himself one night. "Come on, we have to go back."

Still, I stayed silent. There had never been a moment in my life where I just wanted to disappear- so badly. The silence that enveloped us was so painfully loud.

"I can't go with you." I spoke up for the first time.

He chuckled humourlessly, "Come on, don't be silly."

I gulped, took a deep breath and forced myself to move. I forced myself to turn around and see the devastation that I knew I had caused. I knew this day would come, of course, I did. From the moment I accepted this mission- I knew. What I had not anticipated was that I would end up falling for him myself. I am so stupid.

Our eyes met.

He did not say it out loud. But his eyes were begging me. Please, tell me I am wrong, tell me this is all a misunderstanding. Tell me how much you love me and want to be by my side. Tell me it is not what it looks like!

It was never supposed to go this far. I was never supposed to get this close. I told myself it was fine, that I am a grown woman and can control my emotions. If only I could go back in time and warn my past self to not get attached. Then maybe I would not feel the resentfulness for myself and my deeds that I did now- not because I regret the mission but the regret of the pain that I caused him.

"This is were we part ways." I told him softly, holding his gaze. His eyes dropped to the object in my hands, and I could feel his heart drop- he knew just how important- dangerous - it could be if it fell into the wrong hands but he trusted me, so told me the location.

He knew-thought he could trust me, I slept beside him at night and ate at the same dinner table as him. He trusted me even though he never trust easily, even though he had blocked off the entry to his heart because of past betrayals- he had let me in.

Because I was his y/n.

His y/n would never betray him.

"All this time...?" He trailed off, pursing his lips, eyes still locked onto the object in my hand. "Wow, you actually had me fooled, you know? This is really embarassing."

I steeled myself, knowing that no matter how much I wanted to, I could not change what has been done. I have already lost him, I could only complete my mission now. Do what I had been sent here for.

"Don't be." I said. "You did not know any better."

Reblog and pick up where I left off with a character of your own choice!