#you hear an eagle screech every time he comes on screen

[chadillacboseman]

About JJ Mitchell

Full Name: Jeremiah Jedediah Mitchell

Nickname(s):

JJ

Jed (his father)

Mr. America (Alora)

Full-Metal Dickhead (Kabal)

Age: 46 Gender: Male Place of Birth: Birmingham, Alabama Date of Birth: July 19th Star Sign: Cancer Species/Race: Human Occupation: Private Military Contractor Faction: Falcon Company (allied with Special Forces) Status: Alive

Appearance

Height: 6'0 Weight: 190 lbs Skin Color: White/Tanned Hair Color: Salt and Pepper Eye Color: Hazel

Prominent Features:

Prominent graying near his temples.

Aqualine nose

Hair cropped tight on the sides, longer on top.

Mouth full of too-white, too-straight teeth.

Fighting Attributes

Abilities:

Chaingun - The Glagolev-Shipunov-Gryazev GShG-7.62 rotary machine gun. He can retrieve and mount it for a frenzied gun attack.

Last Resort:

Scorched Earth - Calling in an AC-130 airstrike which obliterates the field.

Skills:

Money, money, money

Has a small personal army at his disposal

Weapons master.

Strengths:

Charming and Disarming - JJ is an expert at defusing situations and charming new contacts. Maybe it's the accent.

Heavy Hitter - He's slow, but when he catches you, watch out!

Pilot - JJ can co-pilot the AC-130 and other heavy warplanes.

Good Leader - Has an entire army at his disposal who are fiercely loyal.

Weaknesses:

Superiority Complex

Slow

Can only pilot with a co-pilot. Cannot land a small plane to save his life.

Storm Trooper aim.

Susceptible to long range

Weapons:

Ruger Security 9 - His primary sidearm

Heckler and Koch HK414

Glagolev-Shipunov-Gryazev GShG-7.62 rotary machine gun

Personality

Traits:

Southern

Cocky to a fault

Quick to anger

Loyal as a starving dog (he'll turn on you for the better bankroll)

Relationships

Enemies:

Black Dragon

Various Other Threats to Earthrealm

Family:

Curtis Mitchell - Father

Carolyn Mitchell - Mother

Siblings unknown

Friends/Allies:

Sonya Blade

Jax Briggs

Johnny Cage

Kombat Kids et all

Kate (formerly)

Other Information

Dislikes:

Waiting around

Closed spaces

Promises not fulfilled

Goals:

Get his bank up, baby

Eventually push Sonya out of the SF and take her place OR

Have Falcon Company become the protectors of Earthrealm

Hobbies:

Horseback riding

Motorcycles

Guitar playing

Likes:

Being the most important one in the room and the center of attention.

Expensive whiskey

Old guns

Habits:

Hums when the air is dead

Uses pet names that piss everyone off

Taps his foot when he's impatient or bored

Fears:

Losing control. Of Falcon Company. Of his life. Of his environment.

Snakes

Enclosed spaces

BIO

Jeremiah Jedediah Mitchell, aka "JJ" was born in Birmingham, Alabama to a family that was nothing of note. His father worked at the steel mill and his mother was a CNA at a longterm care facility.

Jeremiah excelled at his athletic endeavors in high school, but found himself bored with his surroundings. After one semester at BSC, he joined the marines and found his stride. He had a knack for leadership roles and worked well under pressure- enough that he began to attract lucrative offers from PMCs.

But Jeremiah had his sights set higher.

Unfortunately, his humvee was hit by an IED during a tour in Iraq and he lost his leg from the knee down. After his honorable discharge, he started his own PMC, Falcon Company. Such were their escapades that they often attracted the ire of the Black Dragon and various outworld threats.

After a particularly brutal run-in with the Black Dragon, Sonya Blade approached Mitchell and offered him a chance to do something bigger with Falcon Company.

Defend Earthrealm.

The Special Forces has provided him with state of the art prosthetics for his leg, and he considers the injury an upgrade.

Mitchell tolerates Blade and the others, but is biding his time until it's his turn to lead in full. Falcon Company often finds controversy for their fast and loose play with the rulebook.

SHIPS

#HotShot - JJ x Alora (@bihanspookies)

Fun Facts

He did not always have good teeth. He spent a fortune having them veneered.

Codename in the field is FALCON-01

The Latin wording on the PMC's logo reads: Falco Catervae: Alta Volare, which translates to "Falcon Company: Fly High"

He collects antique guns and prides himself on being able to restore them.

His mother is dead, but his father is still alive.

Can play the acoustic guitar quite well.

He does deal with phantom pain in his limb, which he solves with whiskey.

Borrowed most of this template from @bdfightclub thank u beloved fandom creator. HUUUUUUGE shoutout to @bihanspookies for helping with the name and also letting me always borrow Alora <3

[taronunwin]

hi! whats ur ranking of fav taron movies? starting with the one u consider the worst and ending with the one u like the most. justify each position!! 💞

I love all of Taron’s movies so I don’t truly dislike any of them, but I will do as I’m told and shall rank them based on how much I love re-watching them. Here goes.

Legend I skipped through this the first time just for Taron and then finally sat down and watched the whole thing, and I really enjoyed it, but if Taron wasn’t in it, I probably wouldn’t feel compelled to watch it again.

Testament of Youth I love this movie. I despise this movie. I love it but I also passionately hate it. This is not an enjoyable or fun movie to watch. I find it absolutely impossible to ignore what’s to come so I can’t even just focus on how wonderful and adorable and perfect sweet Edward is. But also, the movie is gorgeous, thought-provoking, and taught me to always moisturize my elbows.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle To be up front, when it comes to Eggsy, he’s my favourite of Taron’s characters. I adore that boy with my whole heart, so any time Eggsy’s on screen, it makes me want to rank the film higher on this list, however the movie as a whole isn’t super enjoyable to me. I always skip Polly’s scenes and anything Eggsy isn’t in, which tells me it’s not a movie I adore as a standalone film, I just adore Eggsy. I do think it was immensely creative and I love Eggsy’s growth, there’s just a lot of things I would have changed. *coughs*likenotbringingharryback*coughs*

Eddie the Eagle While this sweet movie is very re-watchable, it’s just not a movie I grab when I’m feeling like enjoying a Taron film. I do love watching it with other people, because it’s one of the few of Taron’s movies that’s good for anyone and everyone, and I have lovely memories of watching it with various family members and enjoying watching their reactions. Eddie is an absolute darling and I love him so much and I’m so glad Taron chose to be in it because it’s a precious inspirational film that I would never have watched if not for him.

Billionaire Boys Club I still haven’t been able to figure out why this movie is so hated. Sure, it has flaws, but I genuinely enjoy BBC, and not just because it was an unmitigated pleasure to see Taron play a bad guy or hear his American accent. Although those are two very important things to me. I love the story, the descent into darkness and desperation, the betrayal, all of it.

Robin Hood I am absolutely unabashed about how much I love this stupid, awful movie. Yes, it’s stupid and yes, it’s awful, but I just love it. Right now, I own three copies of it. I remember when I first bought it, I was like ‘this is a total waste of money’, and you know what? I was right. But I don’t regret it at all. The story is disjointed and rushed, then screeches to a halt, the editing is funky, and the script is painfully awkward at points, but dang if I don’t love it. It is my ultimate guilty pleasure movie. There was such an immense amount of potential that I think that’s why I’m so blinded by love. I desperately love what it should have been.

Kingsman: The Secret Service This movie is perfect. It’s just perfect. When I first watched it, a few days into my Taron phase (I actually started watching TGC first, not realizing it was the second movie in the series, but thankfully stopped before I got in very far) I really did not expect to like it. I’m not a James Bond fan so I thought I’d just kinda suffer through it for Taron, but then sweet Eggsy showed up, and within about 2 minutes, by the time he locked the door behind him as he left the flat, I was smitten. Then he went and stole the bully’s car and I was done for. Eggsy Unwin stole my heart in 5 minutes and I’m so okay with it. The film itself is just amazing and ingenious (and the plot is actually ridiculously prophetic) and I love it. I haven’t watched it start to finish in quite a while but I can’t wait for the next time I do.

Rocketman Oh this precious, incredible movie. This was movie I watched with the ‘alright, I’ll just start it and see if I can handle it for Taron�� mentality and by the time Elton sat down and listed off why he was in therapy, I was completely hooked. I’ve watched it so many times, by myself, with others, and I think it gets somehow more magical every time. It is a true 5 star, 10/10 film, and this is coming from someone who used to not give a rip about Elton John or know any of his songs, from someone who doesn’t like the 60′s-80′s eras, and who was not really a fan of musicals, especially flamboyant ones. But I fell in love with Rocketman and I fell hard. As a Christian, this does make me chuckle because so much of the film would shock the hardcore, delicate religious folk, but I adore it and I was truly amazed by how much it made me feel. It’s a roller coaster and an incredible one at that. Taron is always amazing in every role but there’s just something about this performance that goes beyond any performance I’ve ever seen. Of all of Taron’s films, this is the movie I’ve watched the most, from start to finish, and would watch any time. I love it so much.

[sciencelings-ocs]

Andromeda’s Origin Fic

Hydra...

They were hydra…

Andromeda put a hand over her mouth to keep herself from gasping. She was only a wall and an open door away from the discussion taking place. Her parents were just beyond that wall. They were Hydra… They didn’t work for NASA or for some new space department of the government, no. They worked for the secret Nazi organization that had fallen into obscurity so long ago. 

The facility was makeshift and thus not heavily guarded or under heavy surveillance. It was why she wasn’t caught yet. She had just been exploring while she thought her parents were doing something boring. She didn’t plan to find some deeply hidden government secret. She didn’t plan to find anything at all. She just wanted to catch a glance at the newest spacecraft that her parents talked about. 

She didn’t plan on her world crumbling. 

Her parents were the bad guys. Her mother, a tall proud Indian woman, who refused to wear anything other than a full saree and a pound of jewelry, wasn’t an astrophysicist for NASA… no, she was part of a deeply embedded part of the government made up of Nazis. Her father wasn’t the head engineer in charge of the most recent space-traveling equipment, he was a lead Hydra scientist. 

Andromeda couldn’t believe it. Her parents weren’t evil. They were Indian immigrants with genius-level IQs that she just happened not to inherit. They spoke rapid-fire Hindi and their English was spoken with a heavy accent. They argued about music and food and wanted Andromeda to have more of a dating life, they had favorite movies and collected little things from everywhere they went. They weren’t evil. 

She was spiraling. The room was shrinking in on her. That was before the alarms went off. Red lights and screeching sirens filled the concrete halls. 

Andromeda didn’t think, she just ran. She didn’t know where she was going, the only direction she recognized was ‘away from here’. Her heart was beating in her throat so loudly that she could feel it even with the sirens. 

There were too many halls that looked the same, she made so many random turns. She only stopped to avoid a heavily armed squadron of hydra security guards. After an eternity of running and hiding, she got to a room. It wasn’t a research room, it wasn’t filled with computers or partially finished machinery. It was a hanger with a single aircraft in the center. 

It was like a rocket and an airplane fused together, it was like it was straight out of Star Wars. It had massive wings and almost just as massive thrusters on the top. It was white with an insignia of an eagle of the side. 

She heard rapid footsteps behind her. She ran to the only place she thought she’d be safe. Into the aircraft. The room was already a dead end, there was only one exit. The yelling got closer. She could recognize her father’s pleading voice in the chaos. 

She had just enough time to slip into the ship before the men entered the room. The ship was big enough to fit a few dozen people but what really piqued Andromeda’s interest was the cockpit. It was too familiar. But she had never been in an aircraft like this before, she had only piloted a simulator at the Junior NASA camp. 

The simulator. It was modeled after this aircraft. Every detail was the same. Had she been secretly being trained to fly this thing? The only thing different was the guns. It had them. The simulator was just for a fusion spaceship that she thought was completely theoretical. It was meant for exploration, it wouldn’t need guns. But this one did.

Loud pounding on the metal door interrupted her train of thought and reminded her of her pure panic. There was muffled yelling, some from her parents, pleading with her to get out of the spaceship and that it’s okay and that she’ll be safe if she did but there was more yelling that directly contradicted that. 

She wasn’t going to give herself up, she didn’t exactly have a choice. Hydra was so bent on not getting discovered that they wouldn’t hesitate to kill some teenage girl that got in their way. 

So instead of surrendering, she started the spaceship up and sat in the pilot’s seat with the co-pilots seat empty. There was several empty spacesuits in the back, but she wasn’t prepared for an intergalactic flight. She didn’t even know where she’d go. Where would she even get help? From what she heard, Hydra was everywhere. 

She decided to figure that out later. Once she was out of Hydras tentacles. She methodically flipped switches and pressed buttons that she was trained to press. The massive turbines started to spin and she could feel the rumble of the rocket engines. She put on the headset and adjusted the little microphone over her mouth. She pressed the button to open the sky door. She could barely hear the angry screaming from outside. 

She had to take a breath and control her heartbeat before she pulled the lever back to do more than hover a dozen feet in the air. Before she managed to blast off into the sky, a transmission echoed through her display. 

“You can land the plane and surrender yourself or we won’t hesitate to blow you out of the sky.” A calm but grumpy male voice said through the intercom. 

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I don’t exactly believe any of you would be nice to me at this point and I don’t feel comfortable in a world where Hydra is pulling the strings.” Andromeda said, her voice shaking a little as she pulled up a GPS system on a touchscreen monitor. The entire earth was displayed with dozens of glowing points for secret bases and government places to land. 

“There is no place on this earth where you can run from us, you can make this easier and make your sentence much lighter if you give up now.” The voice on the other said sounded frustrated. Andromeda noticed a little button on the side of the screen that seemed to be a little magnifying glass. She pressed it and grinned as instead of zooming in on the planet, the diagram zoomed out. Earth was a tiny speck with a handful of planets named on the screen. One pointed out an entire star system, ‘Skrull Refugee System’. Well, Andromeda is kind of a refugee now… she’s definitely not safe on her own planet. Hopefully, these Skrull guys didn’t mind her joining the party. 

“Well, then it’s a good thing that I’m not planning on landing on this earth.” She set her targeting system to the main planet in the star system. At least she had a chance out there in the stars if she stayed on earth, there was no guarantee she would be able to avoid hydra. 

“You brought this upon yourself.” The voice said gravely as a video message popped up on her main screen. 

“You have one more chance, Ms. Starling.” A burly man said in the center of the screen. “Land the aircraft or consequences will be thrust upon you.” 

“Consequences come for us all. And they’ll come for you guys when the good guys in the government realize that they’re being run by fucking Nazis.” She growled. 

“There’s no more Captain America Ms. Starling. Stop living on fantasies. We already run the world, we just have the mercy to let you live in it. Your parents, however, must pay for your crimes.” The camera panned out to show a dozen armed people around her parents who were now being forced to kneel on the ground with guns to their heads. 

Andromeda’s blood went cold. She didn’t even have time to beg before the shots made her ears ring and her parents collapsed on the floor in a pool of their own blood. The video cut out and she couldn’t move. She had to force herself to activate the thrusters. She was still in shock when she exited the atmosphere minutes letter.

She shook for thousands of miles after she left the earth. She was in shock and had to push herself physically to take the steps that she needed to take to survive in space. She sluggishly put on a spacesuit and tucked her long black braid into the helmet. 

She desperately tried to control her hyperventilating as she now had limited oxygen and wasn’t quite sure of the readiness of her spacecraft. It wasn’t even near fully stocked besides a full fuel tank, likely for test flights. There was no food, the water was at a minimum and had no circulating filtration. The bed didn’t have a pillow or a blanket and Andromeda only had what she came with which was the clothes off of her back and whatever was in the pockets of her silver jacket.

To avoid confronting what had just happened, Andromeda looked at the schematics of the ship, apparently, the engine was powered off of the stolen power from some cube thing called a tesseract that was in the custody of some government agency that Hydra had already infiltrated. 

It was hours later when she completely broke down. Everything collided with her all at once and it felt like it was crushing her. But that could also be contributed to the rapidly decreasing stabilization of the spacecraft. As she plummeted towards her destination, the structural integrity of the ship was decreasing drastically, the pressure and the destabilization of the oxygen made Andromeda’s vision go dark long before impact. Her last thought before it happened was a brief moment of thankfulness that she would die with her own choices and that she might be able to see her parents again. 

Fortunately or unfortunately, she woke up after an indeterminant amount of time. There were hours of barely reaching consciousness for a moment before the darkness overtook her again. There were only moments, images. Laying on the ceiling of the spaceship, covered in blood. Being carried away by green hairless humanoids. Talking in some language unlike anything she had ever heard on earth. A soft bed. Strange lights. Purple fluid being pumped into her bloodstream with a clear tube. Pain… lots of pain, burning pain, electrifying pain, blinding pain.  She just wanted it to be over. 

She fully woke up in what seemed like a medical bed. It was much different than what she had experienced on earth, but it wasn’t that different. Her head ached and her vision was fuzzy. Her body just felt strange and off. She couldn’t figure out why or what was specifically off. 

As her vision cleared, she began to recognize what was going on around her. There was a green, almost reptilian figure working on a hologram of what seemed like an image of Andromeda’s body with glowing purple starting to color her veins and incomprehensible information on the side. There was a machine to her side pumping opaque purple fluid into a clear pipe going into the skin in her arm. 

The room was clean but not excessively complex, there were no windows or curtains, just a gray metal door, and the medical console being manned by the alien figure. It wasn’t like she wasn’t expecting to see aliens but it was still a pretty strange sight. Strange in a fascinating way, Andromeda definitely thought it was super cool to be likely one of the only humans to be in contact with aliens. And the aliens seemed to be nice as she was still alive even after crashlanding into their planet and seemed to be receiving medical attention. 

Suddenly, her situation collapsed back on her like a mountain being dropped from the sky. She wheezed in a breath as tears filled her eyes. The alien (woman?) at the glowing hologram turned around as she noticed Andromeda awake and struggling to breathe. 

“You are safe terran. You do not have to worry.” The Alien woman said calmly, surprisingly enough, in English. 

“I’m sorry, I had nowhere to go…” Andromeda whispered, for some reason, her voice was hoarse and scratchy. 

“You have no reason to apologize. You are not the only one like that here. Now rest. You still have thirty-seven percent of your blood fusion to go. You will feel better when it’s finished.” The alien woman messed with the machinery currently injecting purple liquid into her. She suddenly felt very light-headed and tired. It only took a moment for her to fall back into comfortable darkness. 

The alien woman was right, the next time she woke up, she felt better than she had ever felt. She felt strong and refreshed. She felt new. Her head was lighter, which turned out to be partially because her long hair had been cut to implant what the alien doctor said was a translation chip or something. This wasn’t the only change though. 

It turned out that the purple liquid which was now coursing through Andromeda’s veins changed her in more physical ways. All of her hair on her body turned a bright white and when she looked into the mirror, she saw that her once dark brown eyes turned violet. Her skin tone was even slightly cooler as the color of her blood had completely changed. The little veins in her eyes were shades of purple instead of red or pink. 

The alien woman told her that they had gotten to her after she had lost a lot of blood and they had to adjust their own to be compatible enough to be transfused. Apparently she reacted strangely with the blood formula and it physically changed her in unforeseen ways. This left alien scientists and doctors mystified and incredibly interested. 

The Skrulls, whose enhanced blood was now coursing through Andromeda’s veins, were a shapeshifting race of aliens who were constantly under attack by blue humanoid aliens called the Kree. This was why they had several refuge planets. The system of planets was shared with other survivors of the Kree, including humanoids of all neon colors and even aliens who could pass as human.  

Andromeda was given a makeshift shelter with a handful of other aliens, some feminine, some masculine, some gender non-conforming. Mostly green reptilian Skrulls, but also an androgynous alien with bright pink skin.

It took her a while to get used to her new life, thank goodness aliens were a good distraction from major trauma. Life was simple, everyone worked together to survive. There were hunters who went into the wild planet and brought back strange alien creatures for food, there were farmers who grew crops and saved them up to ration them out every day. There were shelter builders and doctors and cooks and caregivers for children and dozens of other essential jobs that everyone wordlessly participated in. Andromeda tended to drift towards hunting and assisting the medical team. She had several first aid courses under her belt and alien physiology was fascinating to her. 

She was also being considered as a co-pilot for rescue missions. They didn’t have too many people who could fly a ship and who was willing to leave stability to willingly risk their life. Naturally, Andromeda volunteered for the job. Her life was exciting and different but after so many months, it had begun to be monotonous. Every day was the same. The infinite vacuum of space sounded much more fun.

It was during her first rescue mission when she realized how much she had changed. She was stalling in the co-pilots seat, ready to take off at a moment’s notice when an alert pulsed through her high tech monitor. She wasn’t supposed to get out of the ship. She was just a pilot. But if the distress signal was going off, that meant that the crew was captured or needed backup. Andromeda took the emergency gun from under her chair and stood up from her spot after putting the ship on stealth standby. 

She crept off of the ship in her adaptable uniform that was derived from a defector of the Kree Star Force. The suit changed colors to blend into the dry red environment and created a mask around her mouth to breathe the planet’s gasses. She twisted her wrist and the gauntlet of the suit activated a flickering GPS system, pointing out where her teammates were. 

She eventually made it to a small cliff in the orange rock that looked over the situation. Her teammates were surrounded by gunmen of the local oppressive government with a dozen unarmed civilians huddled in the center. There was some far away yelling but she didn’t care to hear it. She just had to think of what she needed to do. Her skin crawled with adrenaline. Or at least that’s what she thought it was. 

No one had noticed her presence. She carefully aimed her gun at the closest bad guy. She had never been great with guns and she was a little far away for comfort but she really couldn’t do much else. Of course, even with the most advanced targeting system she had ever worked with, she missed. At least it caused a bit of chaos. 

The bad guys in bright blue uniforms looked around wildly for her but she had already ducked back behind the rock. The bad guys yelled and one of them called for someone to find the ‘idiot slug-fucker’. Andromeda wasn’t sure about the accuracy of that translation but she didn’t like the sound of it. Her skin crawled even more as a dominant yell echoed through the valley of rock.  

“Show yourself or they’re all going to be shot down!” She froze. She couldn’t just sit there and ruin the mission and be the reason even more people are dying. She stood up from behind the scarlet stone and held her arms up in surrender. For some reason, her skin only crawled more. It was too bad humans weren’t the most interesting beings in the universe, if she had wings like Nidaviliir Demons or durable and able to take out technology like a Remorath but she was only human. The most basic boring creature in the universe. 

But she wasn’t quite human anymore. After she was saved by the Skrulls, she became something else entirely. And it took this long for her to know the true effects of what had happened to her. 

The feeling of her skin crawling went up her spine and stopped in between her shoulder blades. A strange feeling emerged from her back, not painful, not uncomfortable, in fact, it felt right. Behind her, flesh and feathers grew from her back and her spacesuit merged with her new growing limbs. Massive bright white iridescent wings expanded from her back, taller than she was and several times wider. She test flapped them once and was thrust about a foot off of the ground with barely any effort. 

The strangest part was how natural it felt. It was like she was born with the wings that she had only just barely grown herself. 

“Take it down!” the main bad guy screeched. Andromeda automatically shielded her body with her wings. She didn’t know if it would do anything to whatever type of weapons they had but it was a purely instinctual reaction. To her surprise, the energy blasts bounced off of her wings like lasers off of a mirror. 

Once the shooting stopped, she unfurled her wings and thoughtlessly dove off the cliff. She glided low to the ground and took out a handful of guys just by ramming into them. This was when all hell broke loose. Her teammates went after the bad guys who were focused on her and she reflected energy blasts with her wings so that they would avoid the people who were in harm’s way.

It only took a minute for the fight to be over, blue military uniformed bad guys lied motionless on the ground, most of the civilians were safe. There were injuries but the mission was a success. 

“Since when have you been able to do that Starling?” Her Skrull co-pilot exclaimed.

“Since like, uh, three minutes ago?” She shrugged. She didn’t really know how to undo the shapeshifting and her back had taken a hit or two in the fight. The wings felt heavier and more in the way than natural limbs at this point. She wanted them gone but she wasn’t sure how to do that.

“Maybe you should be out here instead of just in the ship!”

“Maybe…” Andromeda considered as they headed back towards the spaceship. 

Everything else went off without a hitch. They left the planet without being attacked again, no one died on the way back to the refugee planet, everything was fine. Andromeda had to have her wings half-open as there was no other way to sit, she still couldn’t figure out how to reverse it and was hoping that she could figure it out. 

After helping the new refugees with their injuries and having a meal or two, she passed out, back and wings up, on her bunk. Surprisingly enough, her wings were gone by morning. 

This was just the beginning of her journey. She wasn’t just a refugee from earth, she wasn’t a science experiment anymore. For the first time in a while, she felt hope that she could be more than what was expected of her.

[lady-divine-writes]

Squatters’ Rights - (Rated PG13)

Summary: Chaos ensues at their daughter's Christmas pageant when some unexpected visitors hijack a very important prop. (1878 words)

Notes: Written for the @klaineadvent 2019 prompts emergency, ground, hiccup, interrupt, nest, and overwhelm, and the @gleepotluckbigbang Prompt 'Christmas Trees'.

Read on AO3.

“Ku-rt … oh Ku-rt,” Blaine sings in a nervous falsetto. “I need to talk to you, Kurt.”

“Yes?” Kurt snaps, too overwhelmed this close to curtain to handle anything that might go hand-in-hand with that unsettling voice.

“We might have a problem.”

“What?” Kurt storms a step towards his husband who leaps three steps back in response, concerned suddenly for life and limb. “What problem!? It’s fifteen minutes to show time! Don’t talk to me about problems!”

“O…okay,” Blaine says, splaying his hands in a conciliatory gesture, “then let’s call it a hiccup?”

“No, a hiccup is a safety-gated synonym for problem and I refuse to accept that there are any problems.”

“And yet, we still have one.”

Kurt sighs, throwing a hand to his forehead to shield his already blooming headache from whatever stupidity this is, and ends up smacking himself with his clipboard. “Fine!” he groans, rubbing the sore spot. “What is it!?”

“Look up there.” Blaine reaches out to take his husband’s shoulder and redirect his attention, but after considering the possibility of getting his hand bitten off, he motions with his chin instead.

“Up where?”

“Up … up there. In the Christmas tree. And … uh … tell me I don’t see what I think I see.”

“What? Is Mrs. Popson complaining that the ornaments are unbalanced again? Are we going to have to re-Feng shui the lights to better complement her third graders’ angel piglets?” Kurt allows himself a snicker as he follows Blaine’s instructions and gazes up. Eight dozen ridiculous things have happened so far and their little pageant has yet to even open. That’s probably all this is. Something ridiculous – a minor inconvenience blown way out of proportion.

At least, that’s what it had better be.

But as he peers through the branches of their picturesque twelve-foot Fraser fir, he realizes no. This isn’t a little thing. It’s a rather large thing. So large, he wonders how come he didn’t manage to notice it before now.

“Oh … shit,” he mutters.

“Yeah,” Blaine agrees. “That’s what I said.”

“This!” Kurt hisses, jabbing a finger upward. “This is why I told you I wanted an artificial tree for the Christmas pageant! Where did we get this thing anyway?”

“It was donated, Kurt! By Father Bruno at St. Adalbert’s Parish. As a show of support for out LGBT inclusive program! He went out to the woods and cut it down himself!”

“Right!” Kurt folds his arms over his chest, expression pinched sarcastically. “He probably planned this! Did it on purpose to sabotage our pageant! You can’t trust the Catholics, Blaine! Don’t I always say that!?”

“No!” Blaine pulls a face. “I have never heard you say that!”

“Well, you can’t,” Kurt sniffs. “And whether I said it or not, it’s generally implied.”

“I don’t think he did this on purpose.”

“Really!? Then let me ask you this - during the time it took the good father to cut this tree down and drag it over here, he never once noticed there was not one, not two, but three nests inside!?”

“I guess not! But neither did y---we,” Blaine corrects, his life flashing before his eyes when he almost implicates his husband in being at fault. “We got the tree last minute. I guess they slipped through the cracks.”

“Obviously.” Kurt sighs. He closes his eyes and drops his head, searching for an answer in the dark behind his lids.

Five minutes.

By now, they only have five minutes left until show time. He can hear the children lining up with their teachers backstage while he and his husband argue. But they need to stop arguing and come up with a solution.

And fast.

He takes a deep breath in and exhales out, the inklings of a plan forming in his head.

“It’s okay,” he says, reassuring himself more than anyone. “It’s going to be okay. They haven’t let the parents in yet. They’re still in line outside. We can fix this. We can still fix this.” Kurt’s eyes pop open. “Sam’s here, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah!” Blaine exclaims, the inclusion of their friend in this scenario of some bizarre comfort to him. “He’s doing final checks on the lighting! Up in the catwalk!”

“Great,” Kurt says, over-enunciating consonants through locked teeth. “Can you go get him please?”

“Yes! Yes, I can! Sam! Sam!” Blaine bellows before he runs off behind the curtain. Kurt flinches, the headache simmering behind his eyes threatening to become a full-blown migraine. He considers informing his husband that he could have yelled just as easily, but quicker than quick, Blaine returns with Sam in tow, pointing animatedly at the tree, running his mouth a mile a minute. Sam listens, nodding and smiling, telling Blaine it’ll be okay every time Blaine stops to take a breath – which isn’t often. But a foot away from the tree Sam gets a better glimpse. He slows down. His smile falls. And to Kurt’s dismay, he shakes his head.

But Kurt adamantly objects to hearing anything that so much as stinks of bad news, so before Sam can say a word, he jumps the gun: “So, you can move them right? Just … shimmy up there and get them down?”

“Uh … no. I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” Kurt counters, teeth clenched so hard they’re about to pop from his skull. “Skitter your way up there and pluck them out. It can’t be too difficult.”

“I’m sorry, Kurt …”

“We’re not going to hurt them,” Kurt interjects as if that might be the big hold up. “We’re going to relocate them.”

“Kurt …”

“There’s a cat carrier in the fifth grade room,” Kurt continues desperately. “We’ll toss them in there for the time being and then …”

“Kurt!” Sam barks, which he never does, so Kurt knows the impending answer truly is no. “We can’t move them.”

“And why can’t we?”

“Because those aren’t just any birds.” The three men look up at the exact moment nine fluffy bird faces peek over the edges of their nests and look down, probably wondering what all the commotion below is about. “Those are loggerhead shrikes.”

Kurt and Blaine both look at their friend with confusion on their faces.

“How do you know that?” Blaine asks.

“I happen to be an Eagle Scout. And an active member of the Audubon Society.”

“I didn’t know that!” Blaine pats his proud friend on the back. “Good for you, man!”

“Thank you,” Sam replies a la his favorite Elvis-impersonation. “Thank you very much.”

Kurt throws his arms up in frustration at the unexpected arrival of the mutual admiration society. “Okay! Great! They’re loggerhead shrikes! So?”

“Loggerhead shrikes are threatened. That means they’re protected. We can’t move them ourselves. We might not be able to move them at all without taking the tree with them.”

Kurt’s eyes bug. “We can’t … we can’t … the tree!? Oh great! This keeps getting better and better!”

“Kurt, relax.” Blaine takes the risk and puts his hands on Kurt’s shoulder. He tries to massage them, but they’re hard as rocks. “It’s okay. We can still sort this out.”

“And how do you suggest we do that!? Huh!? Our Christmas pageant, which your daughter is starring in by the way, and is supposed to start in …” Kurt spins around in search of a clock. When he can’t see the one on the far wall, ironical for the tree, he fishes his cell phone out of his pocket and checks the screen. His eyes bug out farther “… two minutes! has been hijacked by birds!”

“Look. They’ve been chill so far. Maybe we can have the pageant with them there and move them after. Problem solved.”

“You’re right,” Kurt agrees optimistically, seeing how, with no time to spare, this could be a feasible option. “We’ll let them stay! Problem solved! I mean, what’s a few birds? It doesn’t look like they can even fly yet. And they’re cute! They’ll add realism. They won’t be any trouble.”

“Not exactly,” Sam says, and Kurt as never wanted to punch him in the face so hard in his life. “There may be a whole other bigger problem.”

“And that is?”

“Those are the babies. Juveniles, specifically. I don’t see any moms. Or dads for that matter.”

“I know I’m going to regret asking this,” Kurt moans, resigned to whatever fate Sam’s knowledge is about to bestow upon them, “but … that’s a problem why?”

“Because loggerhead shrikes are protective. Being separated from their chicks, the parents will get aggressive. Also, if the babies don’t know where their parents are and they get nervous …” A series of jarring screeches interrupt Sam’s explanation. Kurt glares up at the birds, mouths open wide, cawing loudly into the air. Sam points up. “They’ll do that.”

“Great!” Kurt yelps, at the end of his rope. “So we have potentially agro birds loose in the theater, baby birds that spontaneously scream bloody murder, and a play set to start in half-a-minute, which we may have to postpone indefinitely in case we need to call animal control - do I have that right?”

“Basically, yes.”

“Well, skippidy do! Is there anything else!? Anything at all you’ve forgotten to tell me!? Because what else could possibly go wrong!?”

The doors at the back of the auditorium fly open and Kurt blanches, knowing that right then and there, his question is about to be answered.

“Kurt! Blaine! Come quick! It’s an emergency!”

“What? What, what, what is it now!?”

“Insane birds are dive bombing parents in line outside! Three people have already been pecked! Everyone is scattering! It’s like an Alfred Hitchcock movie!”

With the doors thrown open, Kurt can hear it – the panicked yells of parents outside, banging on the doors, begging to be let in. Above that, the shrieking of the birds searching for their babies echo through the halls, their screams so high-pitched and piercing, they make their way through the thick stone walls and heavy metal doors. Hearing their parents’ cries, the baby birds respond, frantically flapping their wings in an effort to take flight themselves and reach them.

Bitterly Kurt thinks all of his problems might be solved if they give it a go, plummet to the ground, and break their little birdie necks.

How un-festive of him.

Blaine looks sympathetically at his done-in husband. “Do you want me to go outside and handle this one alone?”

“No.” Kurt straightens his back, squares his shoulders, hands his clipboard over to Sam, and makes for the stairs to the stage, head held high like a gladiator going off to fight an unwinnable war. “I’ll go. Sam? Tell the teachers … there’s been a bit of a delay.”

“Right-y o, chief,” Sam says, leaving the stage with a solemn salute.

“And Blaine?”

“Yes?” Blaine says, falling in behind his husband, unwilling to let him walk off into the bird battle alone.

“Do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“The next time I ask what could possibly go wrong - gag me.”

“Don’t say that …” Blaine smirks, preparing to die on the hill of bringing a smile back to his husband’s face. “Between that and all this bird talk, I can’t wait to get you home.”

[notadog]

@demisexualhale sorry you had a rough time today. have this au that i saw you talking about after i creeped on your blog. it’s... uh. probably not what anyone involved thought it would be. but i hope you like it? 

anyway. 

sterek. 2k. spy au. warnings: i know nothing about spies, secret criminal organizations, or technology in general. just roll with it.

“I’ll pay you twenty bucks to hum the Mission Impossible theme while I do this,” Stiles muttered, fishing an exacto knife out of his tool belt. He fit it under the very edge of the ID scanner and, with a flick of his wrist, popped it off like a dream.

“You could pay me twenty thousand and I still wouldn’t do it.”

“Spoilsport.” Gently pulling all the wires out into the open was the easy part; it was identifying the right one to snip that was going to be the tricky part. Would it kill all organized crime syndicates to stick to one universal standard?

“Try the yellow wire. Third from the left.”

“Try?” Stiles repeated under his breath. “We’ve been planning this job for weeks and you want me to go in with ‘try’?”

He could practically hear the eye roll on the other end of the earbud. “Cut the wire, agent.”

“Manners,” Stiles snarked, guiding the exacto to the wire in question. It slid through with a gentle snick and the red light on the ID reader went out.

“You’re welcome.”

Stiles gently fit the card reader back into the wall and got to work prying open the door. “I don’t recall saying thank you,” he grunted, heaving the heavy metal back inch by inch.

“I’m sure it was implied.”

“I might be inclined if you—” Another grunt as he wedged his shoulder in the space he’d made, trying to use it to get some leverage against the protesting metal. “—helped me with this door.” Not for the first time Stiles lamented the fact that he was chosen for the field, instead of the literal werewolf. Instead, he was embarrassing himself and his very human muscles while Derek got his nerd on from the comfort of the unmarked van parked a few streets away. Life just wasn’t fair.

Stiles gave one last shove, and the door gave way with an angry screech that he was pretty sure was audible in China.

“Derek?” he hissed.

“Hold on.” Polite as always, his partner.

Stiles waited, every muscle in his body coiled tight and ready to spring. Whether that meant to fight or flee was yet to be determined. At least three times he imagined some noise that would precede his discovery, but he forced down the instinct to panic with a violent mental shove. The government hadn’t spent billions of dollars in training his ass to trust his partner with his life for nothing.

After an excruciating eternity, Derek’s voice filtered in through the earpiece. “You’re clear. Not for lack of effort.”

Stiles couldn’t help grinning. “You say the sweetest things.” False confidence was easy again now that his heart wasn’t jammed halfway up his throat. He rummaged through his toolkit for one of his most versatile gadgets: a retractable rod made of a polymer material developed by Derek himself. It was three hundred times stronger than steel but lighter than any other material of its kind on (or off) the market. It was a beautiful piece of some of the most sophisticated technology to come out of R&D, and it gave Stiles a thrill of childish joy to jam it inelegantly between door and wall to keep his escape route free.

“Speaking of which…” Derek’s voice was that special brand of pained that signaled to Stiles that his trick had hit its mark. “Let’s try to keep to aliases while we’re on the comms, all right?”

Stiles winced. He had called out Derek’s real name in a moment of panic, hadn’t he? “It’s not my fault you rejected my code name suggestions.”

The sound quality was considerably different behind the door than in the hallway. Though he couldn’t see into the space, it swallowed up Stiles’ voice in a way that suggested space… a lot of it. Stiles fumbled for the flashlight at his belt and stepped cautiously inside.

“You’re not calling me Eagle Two.”

“Well I’m not giving you Eagle One, dude. I called dibs.” He clicked on the flashlight and did a slow sweep of the room. Well. Cavern was probably a better word for it. It was big enough to swallow the weak beam of his government-issued flashlight, leaving the ceiling and far walls shrouded in shadows. “Are you seeing this?”

Derek hummed, but gave no further comment.

“Gotta admire their style, though,” Stiles continued conversationally. The whole affair was an ode to vaulted ceilings broken up by stone columns and sloping walls covered in expensive-looking tile. Whoever built it certainly had a flair for the dramatic. To his left was a small bank monitors hooked up to a lowly humming box. Stiles made his way over to it. “I mean, you gotta respect the whole batcave vibe.”

Derek snorted. It was a shock, completely at odds with his usual implacable stiffness. In his entire time working with him, Stiles had never once seen the man so much as crack a smile. And here he was, almost laughing in Stiles’ ear. “It’s an evil lair, agent. Much more Luthor’s speed than Wayne’s.”

Stiles considered the space again. It did bear an uncomfortably close resemblance to Lex Luthor’s underground lair in Superman. Much more so than any adaptation of the Batcave. Point to Derek. “I didn’t know you were a fan of the classics.”

“I’m multifaceted.”  

How someone can sound so unbearably smug with only two words, Stiles would never know. “Nerd.”

“Center console. There should be a panel under the monitors.”Definitely smug.

Stiles fumbled around until he found a hidden switch. A previously unseen panel slid forward, revealing three USB slots. Stiles thumbed open the smallest pocket in his tool belt that housed the USB sticks Derek gave him specifically for this point in the job. Just to be sure, he asked, “This the one?”

“Mhm,” Derek confirmed. “You know which one’s first?”

Stiles rolled his eyes. Even if Derek hadn’t labeled them 1 and 2 in obnoxious silver sharpie, the four consecutive run-throughs Derek had forced him to listen to before letting him out of the van would have been enough to hammer the point home.

“Yes, dad,” he muttered, fishing out the first stick. “Just let me know when I need to switch them out.”

“You’ll know,” Derek replied cryptically, which didn’t inspire a whole lot of confidence, but Stiles would be damned if he admitted that out loud.

Stiles watched in interest as the script contained within the flash drive did its thing. It was another of Derek’s projects, something he’d been developing for months with the rest of his little nerd squad back at headquarters. Derek had explained a little of it back in the van. If pressed by a superior, Stiles could explain that the code was meant to create a channel between this server and one controlled by their agency, one that Derek’s team could use to read through and copy every file stored on this server. Anything else had gone over Stiles’ head.

Stiles’ skills were more hands-on and intuition based. Identifying suspicious characters? Convincing them to divulge all of their deepest secrets to him? Finding the fastest way out of any resulting shootouts or capture attempts? That was where he shined the brightest. Developing extremely complicated code to infiltrate evil corporations’ systems, do… stuff while inside them, then exit without a trace? That was Derek’s thing. Stiles was just the sneaky middleman needed to insert peg A into slot B.

The screens flickered constantly between different windows. Lines of code would appear and disappear again too fast for him to read, but based on Derek’s intermittent hums of approval in his ear, Stiles guessed they were doing their job. As the script worked, he kept an ear out for any sign of discovery.

They passed the time together in silence, both of them tense at the thought of the most important part of their mission falling through at the last second. It left Stiles alone with his senses, feeling wrong-footed for the first time since infiltrating the compound earlier in the evening. After a too-long stretch of time, activity on the screens slowed down, then stopped. All the screens were black except for one, which held a single line of green text and a blinking cursor. Stiles leaned forward to read it. When he did, he made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat.

Insert 2nd USB stick, agent. (It has the number 2 on it.)

“Told you you’ll know,” Derek’s voice was a gentle tease in his ear.

“You were so cryptic about it,” Stiles muttered, complying. “I thought it was gonna be something cool.”

“Computers are cool,” Derek replied, then lapsed back into silence.

The second stick took much less time than the first, or maybe it was just the end in sight that made it seem like it was going faster than it actually was. Whichever was true, it felt like no time until a single green line of text was displaying Installation Complete before all the screens went blank.

Derek’s voice was like silk. “Don’t forget to take the USBs with you.”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Thanks,” he snarked, tucking the USBs back into their pocket and securing it. “What would I do without you?”

“You would be dead seven times over if it weren’t for me.” 

“Fair,” Stiles conceded. It was gratifying to return the door and find it hadn’t budged an inch since he’d left it. It was rare in Stiles’ line of work that the things he set down stuck around and waited patiently for him to collect them. Granted, at this point in his career most of the “things” Stiles set aside for later were informants and enemies of the government, so a little bit of disobedience was probably to be expected. But whatever. Details.

Easing the door closed was trickier than forcing it open, Stiles soon realized. Not only was he worried about loudly protesting metal, he wasn’t sure how he was going to stop the whole thing from slamming closed the second he pulled out Derek’s rod.

Heh.

As always, Derek chimed in with the solution at Stiles’ precise moment of need.

“Retract it gradually,” Derek commanded, and Stiles complied. “Good. Now fold your jacket in half and stick it in so it doesn’t slam… Good. Now just pull the jacket out.”

Under Derek’s direction, Stiles eased the nightmare door closed. The jacket muffled the metal-on-metal impact, and when he yanked it out, the door settled back into place with hardly a complaint. Stiles made a mental note to make the whole experience sound a lot cooler in his retelling the next day.

“You’re welcome,” Derek whispered in his ear, voice dripping with self-satisfaction.

“I don’t recall saying thank you,” Stiles replied as he popped the card reader out of the wall again, grinning at the echo of their conversation from earlier. There was a prolonged pause as he bit off a length of electrical tape and carefully brought the snipped ends of the yellow wire together.

“It was implied.”

“Whatever you say, big guy.”

Stiles secured both raw edges of the wire with the tape, then confirmed that the ID reader was once again operational. He carefully tucked the bundle of wires back into their space in the wall, then returned the box to its home for the last time, good as new.

“Ready to get me out of here?”

“Always,” was the curt reply, sounding almost fond to Stiles’ delusional ears. “You’re alone on your floor, but there are two guards stationed outside the elevators to the west, same as when you came in. Your best bet is to go south to avoid them, then take the service stair up to ground level.”

“Got it,” Stiles said, already moving towards his exit. “See you soon, dude.”

“You better.”

Stiles made good on his promise, and was rewarded with a nod of acknowledgement from Derek when he threw open the van door. It was the closest Stiles had ever come to getting an honest-to-god smile from the guy, and it made something warm and gentle unfurl in his chest.

He couldn’t stop grinning the entire drive back to headquarters.

[multifandom-hoes]

Too Far Gone

Member: G-DRAGON || BIGBANG

Genre: Mafia!AU, Yandere, Smut

Short Summary: Turns out that having a pretty face can bring on way more problems than horny males. For example? Being put into the assassination list of one of the most infamous mafia bosses that is now after your head.

Words: 1.8k A/N: I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO HOMEWORK FOR FUCK’S SAKE...

/ Part 1 // Epilogue /

A heavy bundle of files was dropped onto the top of a bleached blond male’s desk. He cracked one of his eyes open, a lazy, cat-like grin on his handsome face. “SeungRi?” his velvety voice spoke, “What is it this time?”

“The new assassination lists came in today.” The younger male answered timidly, only knew to the corrupt work that their organization did.

“Oh? Is that so?” the bleached man’s lips fell down for a second, settling into a pout to show his dissatisfaction. “Got anything interesting?”

The younger man’s eyes widened for a second. “E-excuse me?”

The man’s eyes closed again, this time in pure bliss and reminiscence. “Ah… I remember when I was new to this work, too. You’re allowed to skim through the lists, SeungRi. You’re going to see them at one point, anyway. Better get familiar with the victims now rather than later. Make out some easy money so that you’ll be the first one to snatch the reward.” The same cat-like grin from earlier graced his luscious lips again.

“I’ll keep it in mind, Sir.” The younger said with a determined voice and from behind him a deep laugh was heard, coming closer to the duo.

“Disgusting. It was a long time since I heard you being called `Sir`.” The deep-voiced male spoke, his dark brown being ruffled to the side as he wore a black suit combined with some black shoes, a jacket over one of his arms.

“You’re back, T.O.P.” the man in the chair snickered. “Stop destroying my fun and just get on with the list. That’s what you came here for, right?”

“As lazy as ever; ain’t you, GD?” the man nicknamed T.O.P mumbled under his breath, taking a total of ten files into his hands and walking towards the couch skimming through them. “Oh! This seems interesting…”

At this GD’s head flew up from the backrest of his chair. “A long time has passed since you were interested in someone.”

“The file’s empty.” T.O.P simply said, gaining SeungRi’s attention and making GD walk closer to where he sat.

“Show me.” He extended his hand, demanding the apparently empty file. And true enough, apart of the picture in the top left corner of the document and the place of the target’s stay, plus some hefty sum of money given away for the assassination, there was nothing else there. “Fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“She’s pretty, though.” SeungRi commented absentmindedly, peering over GD’s shoulder to get a look at the mysterious target.

“She’s mine.” GD proclaimed, taking the file with him and walking towards his desk.

“What’s with the sudden interest? You’ve never taken up any interest in targeting people after you were appointed as the new head of the mafia…” T.O.P breathed out heavily.

“Changed my mind. Besides, she is pretty. Of course, not considering the fact that she may be a possible threat to the organization. People with no background are a danger.” He chuckled, opening the file once again and looking at the round face belonging to a girl no older than twenty-five of age. “SeungRi, I’ll need you to tell DaeSung and TaeYang to come here. I’m going to need someone finding out her regular schedule and set the cameras in her apartment.”

“She spends most of her days inside her house. Only goes out for work and occasional meetings with her friends. And then again, she only hangs out with one person. There are guys, but as far as I’ve seen she only teases them. Nothing serious.” DaeSung read off from his notepad all the information he had gathered.

“While she was out working, I set up the micro-cameras. Doubt she’ll notice, since she’s literally the most common human being ever. I have no idea what she’s done to be put as a target; probably just saw something.” TaeYang added, handing a micro-chip to GD. “This contains all of the twenty-five screens that are currently in the house.”

“Why are you so careful with her, anyway?” T.O.P added from his spot on the couch. “She’s obviously not a threat as you had thought earlier.”

“I’m just curious now. You don’t usually get paid seven million won for a simple assassination. The most you can get is about five hundred thousand.” GD answered with a wave of his hands, dismissing his closest subordinates.

“Curiosity killed the cat, JiYong.” T.O.P added, the last to leave the room. “Don’t go in too deep.”

Sending his boss a last careful glance the deep-voiced male walked out, leaving JiYong to his entertainment.

At first, JiYong was careful with what he watched when the girl was home. He had skipped her showering, her changing clothes or going to the toilet. He did not watch her when she was sleeping. Why? Because as much as his work required of him to do so, he simply felt like a creep.

Then, about a month later, he had begun to switch his screen on whenever she showered, looking at her naked form through the foggy bathroom glass with an eagle eye. Changing from screen to screen as she walked, stark naked, to her room to change into her underwear and then lay on the bed, without even bothering to cover herself with the sheets.

The feeling of depression had begun to set over his head when she left for work in the morning and he instantly brightened up whenever she returned.

He had caught her masturbating one evening. Quite quickly he had felt a stretch in his abdomen, his pants tightening as a tent begun to raise in his lower regions. With itching fingers he unclasped his belt and looped his hand under his underwear, softly palming his dick as she pushed her fingers in and out of herself.

Soft moans left his lips as he observed her arched back and sweat gliding down her body, her fingers curling into the sheets as her orgasm approached. He held his breath as his pace quickened, palm sliding quicker up and down his erect member, the pre-cum making it all the easier to slide skin against skin.

As he saw her body shudder and a loud moan escape past her clenched teeth he himself felt his legs tremble and soon his lower abdomen was covered with white semen, his eyes glued to the screen as he saw her wobbly form waltzing to the bathroom, where she took a shower.

“Fuck.” He muttered through clenched teeth. T.O.P’s words replayed themselves in his head as he was cleaning up the mess that he had made. “You must be fucking kidding me.” He growled and threw his fist on the desk’s top, shaking up all the computer screens through which he observed her.

“Curiosity killed the cat, JiYong. Don’t go in too deep.”

He was already in, far beyond the point of return.

He sat frozen in front of the computer screens, hearing only his own heart beat as he observed the girl, that he came to like without even actually knowing, making out with a man. A man that wasn’t him.

Rage consumed him as his hands shook on the table top. His eyes turned into narrowed slits as he heard her moaning from the man’s tongue working in her pussy. He had to bite his lips to not begin cursing at the man right there and then.

“I’ll fucking kill him.” He muttered with malice, fists now white from the pressure of being clenched. “That fucker won’t live to see tomorrow.”

With one last glance JiYong turned off the screens, in his mind only saving her naked form covered in sweat as he walked out of his office and towards her house.

“Good morning, my dear (Y/N).” he muttered, caressing the girl’s face as she squirmed awake, only a thin nightgown to cover her bare body. “Had a good night’s sleep?” JiYong’s velvety voice continued to speak, even through her confused daze.

“What the fuck?!” she yelled, sitting up and trying to stand up all together only to notice the cuffs that were tied to one of her hand and then the metal post of the bed. “Who the fuck even are you?!” she cursed, scrambling away from the psychotic man.

“Do you not know me, Princess?” he asked, sounding confused, his scrunched brows portraying the same feeling- confusion.

“I’m calling the police.”

“First off, you do not have your phone. Secondly, police fear me, Princess.” He chuckled and sat down on the bed, getting closer and closer to the terrified girl.

“Stay the fuck away!” she screeched, her arms covering themselves in goosebumps from the horror of the situation.

“Is that any way to speak to your beloved?” JiYong asked, his hand flying to his heart to add dramatism to his act.

“You’re a fucking psychopath! This is my first time seeing you! How do you even know me?!” she continued yelling, her voice being blocked out by the choked sobs and salty tears sliding down her face.

A frown on his face, JiYong stood up and pressed the `start` button on the small controller held in his hand, starting up the twenty-five screens that were now all around his room. “Looks familiar?” he asked, his voice full of mockery.

The female stopped breathing for a second, shocked beyond belief. “This is… My home…” she muttered, voice shaking as she took a close look at every screen, tears drying from her face as another level of terror and shock shook her entire being. Her eyes landed on the screen closest to her. “Oh… My God…” she began hyperventilating.

“Ah, yes… I had a feeling you’d want to see this image the most so I placed the screen there.” JiYong let out a thoughtful comment.

“You killed him!” she screeched, the loudest sound to yet leave her mouth. “You fucking murderer!” she cried, and thrashed around, and kicked at him and scrambled away again.

“He was trying to get you away from me.” JiYong simply said, his eyes empty of emotion as he gazed at the mutilated body of what once was her fuck-buddy. “He didn’t deserve you, anyway.”

“Besides, what belongs to me, let no others touch.”

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Kevin Wozniak on Kevflix: Best Movies of 2019 – Best Movie Moments

Every year when I begin to look back at the movies of 2019 and begin to make my lists, this is always my favorite list to make.  It is a tough list to make, but always an exciting and interesting list to make.  I get to look back and look at my favorite moments of the year in movies. Whether it was a scene or a moment that scared me, thrilled me, caused an emotional reaction, or one of just pure entertainment, these are the ones that knocked me out in 2019.  Here are my picks for the best movie moments of 2019.

  SPOILERS AHEAD

SPOILERS AHEAD

SPOILERS AHEAD

SPOILERS AHEAD

SPOILERS AHEAD

  You’ve been warned.

          10. LANDING ON NEPTUNE – AD ASTRA 

The third act of James Gray’s brilliant sci-fi film is one of great filmmaking and visual effects.  Astronaut Roy McBride (Brad Pitt) is on the tail end of his mission and goes to Neptune to find his father and this scene literally took my breath away.  Just the sheer idea of traveling that far into space is unbelievable, but this also sets the movie up for its big emotional climax.  It’s a gorgeous scene and the best part of James Gray’s stunning achievement.

    9. SOCCER BALL PREGNANCY – GREENER GRASS 

Greener Grass was one of the weirdest movies I saw in 2019, yet one that I grew to love the more I thought about it and the more I saw it.  This is a twisted, hilarious, dark comedy that is full of bits and scenes of bizarre behavior.  My favorite bit, and one that is making me laugh as I type this out, is a simple one and one you have to see to understand, as explaining it doesn’t do it justice.  During a neighborhood soccer game, Lisa (pictured above, played by Dawn Luebbe) takes the soccer ball as it was kicked out of bounds, sticks under her dress, and from that point on is pregnant.  This is a recurring bit throughout the movie, which included a baby shower, the child being born, and family pictures.  Again, it’s strange stuff, but it is also the funniest running joke of 2019.

    8. OPENING SHOT – CLIMAX

Gaspar Noé films are films that stick with you.  He completely immerses you into them and makes you feel some kind of way when watching them, usually a feeling of discomfort or horror.  The opening to his latest film, Climax, is no different.  This five-minute, uncut introduction features over a dozen actors dancing their hearts out to techno music.  It is an exhausting, hypnotic shot, filled with slick camera moves, stunning colors, and crazy dance movements that sets us up for what is to come in this horrifying, claustrophobic trip.

    7. FINAL SHOT – PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE  

Céline Sciamma’s Portrait of Lady on Fire is a movie that has stuck with me since I saw it back in October.  It is a beautiful love story about two women who’s love grows stronger and deeper the more they observe each other, yet they know their relationship cannot last.  The final shot of the film a master stroke from Sciamma and powerhouse acting from Adèle Haenel.  Marianne (Noémie Merlant) and Héloïse’s (Haenel) relationship has ended when Héloïse was forced to get married.  Having not seen each other since, Marianne sees Héloïse at a concert on the other side of theater.  Vivaldi’s “Concerto No. 2”, a callback to an earlier scene, begins to play and we watch Héloïse go through a whirlwind of emotions.  We watch as she remembers everything about her time with Marainne, the good times, the bad times, the times that they laughed, and the times they cried.  Sciamma doesn’t cut from Haenel and we watch for a solid two minutes as the emotions rush through her.  It’s a beautiful final shot in one of the most beautiful movies of the year.

    6. “I AM IRON MAN” – AVENGERS: ENDGAME

“I am Iron Man.”  These words shook the comic book movie landscape forever and kicked off one of the biggest franchises in cinematic history.  Eleven years later, these words are more powerful than ever.  When it seemed like Thanos had gotten the best of the Avengers once again, capturing all the infinity stones on the infinity gauntlet, he tries to snap everything in existence away, only to realize Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) has taken the stones and made his own gauntlet on his suit.  Iron Man then utters the words, “I…am…Iron Man.”, then snaps Thanos and everything he brought away, saving the galaxy.  These would be last words Tony Stark would ever say and it was the perfect end to a character arc, coming full circle from the time he said them at that press conference back in 2008 to his dying words in 2019.

    5. “IT’S GONNA HAPPEN” – THE IRISHMAN 

There were a number of scenes from Martin Scorsese’s three-and-a-half-hour gangster masterpiece that I could have chosen here.  But this small scene really hit me hard.  In a quiet dinning room on their way to a wedding, Russell Bufalino (Joe Pesci) informs Frank Sheeran (Robert De Niro) that he will be traveling to Detroit to kill his friend Jimmy Hoffa, all while eating cereal and drinking coffee.  This is Pesci’s Oscar scene, as his calm, yet terrifying demeanor really puts Frank in a bind.  De Niro doesn’t say much, but his eyes say everything.  He is now torn between the man who brought him into this life and his friend.  It’s a powerful scene and a sucker punch to the gut.

    4. MEETING MR. ROGERS – A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD 

The opening of Marielle Heller’s wonderful film starts exactly how every Mr. Rogers episode started, with Mr. Rogers (Tom Hanks) walking into his home singing “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”.  This is our first glimpse of Tom Hanks as Mr. Rogers and it is the moment we fall in love with him.  There was a lot of speculation around Hanks as Rogers, as he doesn’t look and sound anything like Rogers.  But with the help of brilliant costume design, some small make-up, and Hanks hitting all the vocal notes, you immediately believe Hanks is Rogers.  Heller brilliantly shot the opening like the T.V. show and set the stage for one the most heart-warming movies of 2019.

    3. “GO TO WAR” – FORD V. FERRARI

Ford v Ferrari is a great American sports movie.  A movie about the underdog overcoming all obstacles to to rise to the top.  One of the key aspects of a great sports movie is a great, inspirational speech, a la Miracle or Friday Night Lights.  Ford v Ferrari has one and it is said by the wonderful Tracy Letts as Henry Ford II.  Ford is giving a speech to Carroll Shelby (Matt Damon) about the history of Ford Motors during time of war and how the company persevered through tough times, symbolic of how everything is going for Shelby in trying make a car that is capable of winning the 24 hour at Le Mans.  Ford ends his speech by telling  Shelby, “go to war” and it is a moment that might as well have come with a bald eagle screeching in background.  A speech that represents everything red, white, and blue and makes you want to stand up and yell, “AMERICA!” while pumping your fist in the air.

    2. THE FIGHT – MARRIAGE STORY 

Two of the best performances of 2019 come from Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson in Noah Baumbach’s Marriage Story.  The two actors give arguably the best performances of their respective careers and commit to being a couple attempting to go through a divorce with as little stress as possible and as cordial as possible.  However, that doesn’t happen and the two end up at each other’s throats, in an explosive scene of emotion and acting mastery.  The entire film was building to this moment and it is as an absolute explosion of a scene.  Johansson and Driver is incredible and Baumbach’s writing is top-tier.  You feel everything they are saying.  You feel the pain, the anger, and the sadness that comes with every word.  It’s acting at its finest and if these two end up winning Oscars for their performances, this is the scene that got them those statues.

      1. “AVENGERS!  ASSEMBLE!” – AVENGERS: ENDGAME 

As soon as I saw this scene, I knew it would be number one on this list and it wouldn’t be close.  This scene is not only the definition of awesome, but it is epic on every scale.  When all hope seems lost for Captain America (Chris Evans), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), and the remaining Avengers and it looks like Thanos’ army will take over the planet, we hear the static of Falcon’s (Anthony Mackie) voice in Captain America’s ear, followed by the appearance of T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) coming from a Doctor Strange portal.  It is then an onslaught of everyone from the MCU appearing on screen, both those who disappeared in the snap and those who survived, all culminating in an attack on Thanos and his army with Captain America commanding, “AVENGERS!  ASSEMBLE!”.  Alan Silvestri’s epic score takes over and we watch as eleven years and over twenty movies come together on the screen at the same time.  You can’t help but get emotional watching this.  We have grown with the MCU and The Avengers and all of these characters and seeing them all on screen at the same time fighting for their lives and the galaxy is something we had been waiting for for over a decade.  This is not only the best scene of 2019, but possibly the best scene of the decade, symbolizing so much of what cinema has become while also being the as big as anything that has ever been on the big screen.

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